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#am i a bad person for saying i don't remember what happened in the beginning of this episode?
lenteur · 6 months
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random thoughts about tell me that you love me, episode ten
(the rest is under the cut because i'm worried about your eyes having to read ALL OF THAT and this post might contain spoilers)
Not even three minutes into the episode and I'm already crying hahaha Life's great!
The fact that ki hyun (jin woo's best friend) fought one of his classmates to defend jin woo is insane. It goes to show how kindness doesn't know any boundary. The classmate's mom forbid her son from hanging out with jin woo because of his disability and ki hyun found it unfair. He chose not the best option but he's a real friend for sticking up for jin woo when no one else does.
I am crying even more now. Jin woo being there for his ki hyun and reassuring him when he needs it the most is proof of how deep their friendship is. I don't think anything or anyone will be able to break it.
Why would you put mo eun's confession back when I still haven't recovered from it? Huh?
{ Seeing jin woo paint on walls is interesting because it seems he only paints in places he knows (?) / places where he felt something strongly. The last time we saw him paint was on the wall of the school where the little girl wanted to study. Now he's in the middle of an area where it seems like a lot of people were evicted from their home. By leaving a trail through his paintings, he wants to commemorate the place/the people he knew. It might be a form of therapy for him? What he can't express with words (even signed), he uses his art to do that.
He uses the nickname dino maybe because he wants to differentiate his "official art" from this very vulnerable and deep form of art. Even though he still puts his all into his art, the paintings on the walls seem even more personal. It's like he puts his all into the paintings.
Or maybe he just wants more people to have access to his art? At least that's what I get from him thinking back on mo eun's words.
Another thing I noticed about jin woo's art is he always draws people with their backs towards the spectator. This might be what he feels on the daily. From the back, he seems "normal" (sorry for using that word). However, if you face him, you'd understand he's deaf. For example, tae ho thought jin woo (who had his back facing tae ho) didn't help him when he was bullied on the bus because he didn't want to. But then, when tae ho actually knew the truth he came to the realization that jin woo is in fact deaf and there was no longer a misunderstanding. From the back, you can't see what people are going through (unless they have a physical wound/disease that changes the way they walk/stand).
He draws people's backs maybe because he wants as many people to identify with the person drawn? }
Seo kyung being curious about jin woo's childhood and how he grew up. She wants to know everything about him. Meanwhile, mo eun lets him confess at his own pace.
Jin woo knows how to cook. He's a keeper mo eun! Wink wink
The way seo kyung handled the rude man was so classy. She didn't raise her voice and calmly explained everything to him. Well done!
Wow, this episode sure gave us a lot to jin woo's backstory. So he went to uni with seo kyung, they fell in love, got into a relationship and then seo kyung broke up with him for an unknown reason. As a result, jin woo decided to disappear for seven years. He lived in the mountain (? not sure though) or was it a container? I should've written it when I watched. Anyway, his container was flooded and he lost all his paintings. Maybe that's why he came back? There's a lot to unpack here. I won't comment on it any further because I do not have the brain to do so.
What is that preview? I'm not sure I'll be ready for the next episode </3
Despite it being a slower episode (compared to the others imo), a lot has happened. I am giving it a 8.5/10
ps: what is in between these { } are just my theories and not facts. seeing jin woo paint once again on a wall made think of all the times he's done so in the past. i just wanted to share my thoughts is all.
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earthtooz · 9 months
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x : NOT JEALOUS ! :*+゚
in which: alhaitham isn't jealous, he doesn't get jealous, so what is this suffocating feeling in his chest that only happens when you're talking to another man that isn't him?
warnings: 5.4k words, jealous!alhaitham x gn!reader who has loads of rizz, university!au, fluff with angst but happy ending, pining!alhaitham who doesn't realise that he loves you, kaveh is there, mention of cyno, ooc at some bits?, swearing, alhaitham is a little bit of an asshole at some parts sawry. he's bad with feelings.
a/n: inspired by @danijaci's jealous jealous boy comic with alhaitham! hi dani if you're reading this pls don't perceive me... hides... but i hope you all like it :,)
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Alhaitham isn’t jealous. 
The uncomfortable feeling obstructing itself in his throat is just because he’s beginning to develop a sore throat- that’s all. It is flu season after all, who knows what kind of bacteria are in the air? Ones capable of lathing an uncomfortable oil that burns inside his chest, the smog crowding its way into his heart, sickening him to his core as Alhaitham can’t help but eavesdrop on the conversation happening beside him.
“I’m free friday,” a voice besides you confirms.
“Okay!” you cheer, sounding a little too happy for Alhaitham’s liking. After all, it’s 9 am, who has this much energy in the morning? “lets do Friday then!”
“Sounds good, I’ll see you then. Bye Y/n.”
“Bye, see you!” Alhaitham watches from the corner of his eye as you wave to the random stranger you’ve decided to associate yourself with before finally taking the seat beside him with a sigh. 
He doesn’t say anything to you, feeling your eyes glance at him expectantly as he stares stubbornly at the lecture board instead of acknowledging you or the jumble of feelings clogging up his diaphragm. 
“Hello, you,” You lean over slightly, careful to not invade his personal space whilst waving at him, hoping to catch his attention. He glances at you, nodding in greeting before returning to his book, the pages and rows of words only fuelling his unease he suddenly felt. He doesn’t even know where he left off, the book’s events a blur in Alhaitham’s mind.
How bothersome. What’s happening to him?
“Talkative today, aren’t you?” Your tone is playful despite his cold attitude and Alhaitham sneaks another look in your direction, noting the way your lips curve upwards. “So, how are you?” 
“I’m fine,” he murmurs, inserting a bookmark between the pages before slamming it shut, an indicator that you could keep conversing with him.
“Cool.” You tap your nails on the desks of the lecture hall. “Oh, I finished my essay the other day.”
“The one for your elective?”
You hum in agreement, “I hope I never get it back. Submitted it ten minutes before the due date.”
“You know you wouldn’t have been stressed over it if you just started it earlier-”
“I know, I know,” you huff, “spare your productivity lectures for another time, I’ll be needing them later in the semester.” The grey-haired shakes his head as you laugh, but his gaze returns to the front cover of his book as he solemnly thinks about the interaction you had with another man, right in front of him. 
(What right did he have to see you smiling so earnestly like that?)
“Who was that?” Alhaitham coughs out, barely choking down his pride in time to make space for the question.
You murmur some guy’s name that he doesn’t bother to remember. “He’s a friend of mine in the same discussion group for this course and we decided to do the assignment together. He bumped into me on the way in so we were just planning when to meet to do the research.”
“Oh.” Your answer doesn’t calm the churning in Alhaitham’s gut. Not even one bit, in fact, it makes it worse. 
But it’s not jealousy, Alhaitham doesn’t get jealous because he’s above petty feelings of inadequacy. He’s merely concerned for you, worried for your brainpower by the end of the project because your partner seems less-than-incompetent. If you’d picked someone like Alhaitham (or better yet, just picked Alhaitham), you would’ve aced the class without even blinking an eye. 
(The two of you are friends, so why didn’t you pick him? It’s literally been proven that the two of you are compatible working together since you were both executives of Sumeru’s Cultural Society, and amidst all of the activities the club has run, you’ve collaborated many times to make each event run flawlessly. So why not him? Why would you pick another man over him?)
“You know you could have picked me, I wouldn’t mind working on the assignment with you,” he grumbles, words soft but very clear.
Alhaitham misses the way your eyes widen in shock as apologies scramble out of your mouth. “I’m sorry! I automatically assumed that you wanted to work on it by yourself. Next time I’ll ask you.” 
The lecture begins before he could say anything in return and like a robot, he sets his thoughts aside and begins listening, notes document up and cursor blinking at the ready.
A mundane two hours pass by, one powerpoint slide after powerpoint slide before the lecture is finally over, much to your pleasure. Alhaitham notices the way you eagerly jump out of your seat to stretch, grabbing your bag. On the other hand, your grey-haired accomplice takes his time in packing up, forcing you to wait for him.
“Would you like to get some coffee before the meeting?” You ask.
“Sure, we can find a seat there and join it together,” he adds and you beam at him, expression bright and so enchanting that it makes him forget about all the perplexities he felt before the lecture. 
The two of you make your way to one of the many campus cafés where you practically wrestled Alhaitham to stop him from paying for both your orders (losing in the end) before sitting at a booth, your laptop set up with a pair of Alhaitham’s earphones shared between you. The meeting begins to fill up with almost all committee members, even Kaveh, who resides in his room of his and Alhaitham’s shared flat. Upon noticing him, you go to text him, with the grey-haired peeking over your shoulder from time to time to see your conversation- not that he cares that much.
(Perhaps if Kaveh glanced up from his phone, then he’d see how close Alhaitham had gotten with you, breaching the distance that he prefers to keep around others. He’d also notice the headphone sharing despite how he generally tends to keep them out of anyone else’s hands.)
You’re tasked with the role of taking notes for the meeting since Alhaitham, in your opinion, is not at all a reliable scribe. His notes tend to just include vital information and never what everyone else needs to know, yet each time you scold him for it, his unbothered expression never falters, waving your complaints off with a shrug. 
“Hey, Kaveh and I are going to go for lunch tomorrow after our classes. Care to join?” You ask, smiling at him hopefully as your messages with Kaveh sit open on your screen. Alhaitham doesn’t think twice before agreeing. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“It looks like it’s about to rain,” you murmur, pulling out a chair as Alhaitham and Kaveh take their seats opposite you. 
“So it does,” Alhaitham notes, not caring to look too long out the window before returning his gaze to you. “You have an umbrella, right?”
“I, uh, didn’t think I needed one today.”
“Do you not check the weather before you leave?”
“Not everyone’s like you, Alhaitham.” Kaveh teases. “It’s no problem, Y/n, if it rains I can walk you back to your dorm.”
“Only if you are okay with it,” you insist, “I have no problem walking home in the rain. I love the rain.”
Alhaitham intervenes with a raise of his hand. “Nonsense, you’ll catch a cold. We’ll walk you home.”
A soft but genuine ‘thank you’ slips from your lips, neither of you wiser to the way Kaveh eyes his roommate suspiciously, not missing the use of ‘we’ in his sentence and the implications the collective pronoun has. For it meant that Alhaitham is willing to take precious time out of his day to perform an act for someone that he is not indebted to do. Not that Alhaitham is inherently selfish, per se, but he is a man of routine. He wakes up every morning and takes five minutes to scribble on his stupid whiteboard in the kitchen what he has to do for the day and strictly abides by it, not even straying two minutes off schedule.
Willingly volunteering his minutes? Kaveh finds that suspicious. 
“So, how’s your architecture assignment, Kaveh?” You ask, breaking the blond from his daze whilst Alhaitham pours glasses of water for the table, starting with your cup. 
“A nightmare,” he sighs, sinking into his chair. “I still have so much to do, you know my professor didn’t like my blueprint? How ridiculous! I hope that man steps in a puddle and wets his sock.”
The grey-haired pipes up with a remark. “I can’t wait for it to be done, our living room is a mess right now.” 
“Hey, I am the one that cleans that living room, thank you very much. Your bookshelf is still a mess even though I’ve asked you to clean it five times.”
“If it bothers you so much then why don’t you do it yourself?”
“I’m the only one who-”
“-I’m going to go to the bathroom,” you murmur, cutting the conversation before shuffling out of your chair, seemingly eager to do so.
Kaveh turns to the grey-haired again, “and you just scared away Y/n.”
“Sorry no one wants to hear about your architecture project.”
“Y/n literally asked, asshole.”
A rebuttal sits on the tip of Alhaitham’s tongue- as it always does when it comes to bickering with his roommate, but it dies out when an intruder comes to the table. “Excuse me, I hate to interrupt,” he begins, “but the person who just got up, is that your friend?”
“Yeah, why do you ask?”
“Oh, I just wanted to drop this off, mind passing it over for me?” The piece of paper he was holding lands in Kaveh’s hand. “Thanks, bro.” Is all he says before strolling away, out of sight but definitely not out of mind.
The blond does not hesitate to open it up, chuckling in amusement when reading the content. “’Hey you’re cute, here’s my number’ it says. What a bitch! You didn’t like his vibes either, right, Alhaitham?”
“Hold on, what does the note say?”
Grabbing (snatching) it from Kaveh, the grey-haired has half a mind to rip the note apart, a certain sense of distaste washing over him that intensifies the long he stares at the guy’s handwriting. His eye is twitching. Why is his eye twitching?
“Hey!” He hears Kaveh call. “Don’t scrunch it, that’s Y/n’s-“
Alhaitham stuffs the ball of paper into his bag where he’ll recycle it later even though something irrational within him tells him to burn it. “Y/n won’t miss it. You said it yourself, he’s a bitch.”
“Sure, but why are you doing-“
“Hey!” You interrupt, sliding back into your chair with a grin on your face. “So, what did I miss?”
“Nothing,” the grey-haired murmurs, assuming his crossed-arm position. Kaveh side eyes his roommate before agreeing with a hum. “Let’s order something now. We want to beat the rain, right?”
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
This meeting for the Sumeru Society might have been one of the most important ones of the year thus far, with almost every committee member expected to attend. After all, the annual ball was a big event that always had the largest turnout, and the amount of planning that goes into it to ensure its success is almost triple that of its other events.
So why weren’t you here?
“Why did you leave the meeting early on Friday?” Alhaitham asks as soon as he sees you.
You pause briefly, eyes widening and eyebrows raising. It must have been the way that Alhaitham’s voice raised a pitch towards the end of the question, demonstrating a nervous break in character that was not at all typical. Cool and collected would be the defining words to describe Alhaitham, as well as someone who does not care for the menial activities of others, so what is he doing asking you? And why does he care so much?
“I, uh, had dinner with someone,” you confess, continuing to grab your books and laptop, missing the way his features contort into something un-cool, and very un-Alhaitham.
“Whom?”
You murmur the name of some other guy, who he vaguely recalls to be your project partner.
“What?” Alhaitham snaps.
“I didn’t think missing out on some of the meeting would be a big deal! I got another committee member to explain what I missed,” you justified. “Besides, there’s no big events going on right now, so I thought-”
“-That you could abandon your tasks and go have fun with someone else?”
Alhaitham’s not really sure why he said that. He’s not angry that you skipped a meeting; there are larger things in the world to worry about, he’s angry because you spent time with another guy that wasn’t him.Why not go to dinner with him instead? He spends it every night with Kaveh, and you are far more favourable than Kaveh.  
“Is it really something to get mad over? I already told you, I got the meeting notes and everything-”
“-You’re an executive of the society, Y/n, more is expected from you.”
“Seriously?” you ask, “how come you didn’t bat an eye when the vice president wasn’t there the other day?”
“Because she was sick.” 
“Okay, fine! what about the subcommittee? they’re not always there either!” 
“They’re subcom. Whether they miss a meeting or not is not crucial.”
“So, it’s just my business that you care about?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed, disbelief clouding over your expression like a mask.
Again, Alhaitham doesn’t know where these punches are coming from and why he’s throwing them against you so viciously, but his heart is tightening defensively with a burning emotion that he’s been feeling more and more recently, and his first instinct is to lash out, to protect himself from it.
Perhaps it’s because foreign things that he can’t understand terrify him and you, all you ever do is make him feel things that he’s never felt before and he can’t understand why. 
“You’re not that special.”
A flash of hurt gleams in your eyes and Alhaitham knows now that he’s royally fucked up. “You’re an ass,” you grumble, about to walk away when he intercepts.
“Listen to me!”
“Fuck off!” 
“Y/n-”
You’re gone before he can get another word out, retreating figure stomping away whilst his chest weaves into knots; something that no amount of deep breathing can calm. It doesn’t help that the minute he returns home, Kaveh is onto him like some sort of parasite, curious over the tense air surrounding his normally-composed roommate. 
“Hey, welcome home- whoa, what’s gotten into you?” The blond asks.
“None of your business,” Alhaitham grumbles through gritted teeth, taking his shoes off and throwing them aside haphazardly. Kaveh doesn’t miss the way Alhaitham’s jaw is clenched, or the strain in his hand when he brings up a hand to run through his hair, or the very subtle and minute twitch in his cheek.
The blond ignores all signs that he wants to be left alone, and instead, follows the grey-haired to his room after he swung the door open. 
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, let’s talk about this-”
“Talk about what?” Alhaitham growls.
“Who pissed in your black coffee today?” 
“No one. Now get lost.” 
“Aw, come on, you know what they say. Getting things off your chest is always beneficial.”
“There’s nothing on my chest, go away.”
“You sure? no stress, no deadlines, no love interest making you tear your hair out-”
“-No, no, none of those!”
“Then what?”
Alhaitham steadies himself by resting his elbows on his thighs, hands clasped together as he exhales loudly. “I got pissed and took it out on Y/n, who’s mad at me now.”
“Huh? Why so annoyed?”
“Because Y/n went to dinner with another man.”
It’s silent for a while. The sassy quip that he expects from Kaveh does not happen. Instead, the blond merely smiles, a satisfied, knowing grin that slightly irks him. “You know, I’ve been waiting for the day you realise you have feelings for Y/n.” 
“What? Where did you get that conclusion from?” Alhaitham sits up straighter. There are a lot of things he knows, and he knows for sure that he does not like you in any way beyond platonic. He doesn’t have any time to spare for love. There are scholarships he still needs to apply for, internships to be interviewed for, research projects to submit- nowhere amongst the minute hand of the clock is there space for love. 
“Oh come on,” Kaveh sits down on the bed beside his roommate, leaning back on his hands. “You’re not as smooth as you hope to be sometimes.”
“I’m serious, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Y’know the sooner you accept you have feelings for Y/n, the easier life will be.”
“Life is already easy and there is no sooner because I don’t like Y/n like that. Now get lost. I have stuff I need to finish.”
Kaveh shrugs, standing up with a soft ‘suit yourself’, taking seven steps before he’s out of the room. Alhaitham lets out a sigh that has lodged itself in his throat for too long, and the feeling of reprieve he gets is short-lived before he’s flooded with a certain tightness again. Maybe he did have a weight on his chest after all, not that he’d ever admit it to himself or Kaveh.
He gets up from his made bed with a grunt and decides to push aside all distractions. Time is unforgiving, and if doesn’t finish his assignment by this Friday then he’ll be a little less than pleased.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Alhaitham feels like he can’t breathe. 
You’re sitting alone at a library desk, all focused and concentrated on your laptop screen with your headphones on, blocking out any outside voice as you type away. He wonders if he should say hi, maybe try apologising for the way he acted last Monday- who is this guy that’s approaching you and why does he look so familiar? 
And why are you smiling so happily?
You beckon to the seat beside you and the guy readily complies, taking the chair beside you like he belonged there, like there weren’t other candidates that should be there instead (he’s not talking about himself. definitely not).
He hands you one of two coffee cups he’s holding. What kind of right does this guy have to give you a coffee? Does he even know your order?
He feels like a bit of creep keenly watching you interact with someone else from a balcony of the library, but the book and laptop in front of him lies forgotten, and in a rare moment of weakness, Alhaitham can’t find it in himself to return to his tasks, pursuit of knowledge momentarily forgotten. He can’t push aside the bile that threatens to rise, he can’t loosen his grip on the couch’s armrest, and he can’t blink for a second in fear of losing you from his sight.
(You’re laughing. Why are you laughing? How can you look so pretty laughing and why doesn’t he ever get to make you laugh like this?)
Alhaitham is losing his damn mind. So much so that the first thing he does when he sees you again is corner you. 
“You shouldn’t talk to that guy anymore.”
You’re backed against the brick walls of the time-worn building that your shared lecture always takes place in, and Alhaitham, spotting you like a hawk, put you in this precarious position as soon as the two hours were over. 
He can’t breathe. It’s been almost three weeks since you last spoke to him and you’re staring up at him like you’ve done nothing wrong, blinking once and twice at his uncharacteristic display of subtle aggression. 
“Who?” you mutter, shaking your head to try and grasp reality once again. you hug your laptop closer to your body. “What’s this about?”
“I said you shouldn’t talk to that guy anymore.” 
“What guy?” 
“Your project partner.”
“Really?” you mutter in disbelief.
He nods, teal eyes shining at you firmly. “Really. The project’s over, you don’t need to talk to him anymore.” 
“I don’t recall ever giving you the right to dictate who gets to be in my life or not, just like how you can’t tell me what to do with my time.” 
“I’m looking out for you, so stop trying to make me sound tyrannical.” 
Your mouth hangs open as you furrow your eyebrows, growing more and more frustrated with each second. So much for thinking that he wanted to resolve the awkwardness between the two of you. “I’m not even going to argue with you,” you murmur a quick ‘jerk’ under your breath before brushing past him. 
Alhaitham, however, is not willing to let you go as easily as you wish, quick to chase after you. Not that you go far anyways, turning around to face him again in the spaciousness of the vacant hallway. “Why do you care?” You ask, exasperated. “You’re Alhaitham, you don’t let trivial things like who I hangout with bother you, you’re cool and collected and rational, and I just don’t understand why you’re acting like this.”
He doesn’t understand either, not the erratic beating of his heart, the stubbornness of his mind, nor this undisputable urge to keep you all to himself. Is it normal to want to hide someone for selfish reasons?
Trailing off, Alhaitham is slightly humiliated that for the first time in his life, someone has witnessed him coming short of an answer. No logical conclusion, no explanation, not even a satisfying quip, just plain, suffocating silence.
“Right. When you do have an answer, let me know.” You walk away.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Your last rebuttal still weighs heavily on Alhaitham’s mind, even two days later as he and Kaveh are seated for a lecture in a shared course. His thoughts are scrambled like never before, the messiness of it all making him feel uneasy because for once, he doesn’t have an appropriate answer to a question.
Why was he acting like a temperamental teenager? What you did with your life was up to you, and indeed he has no right trying to change that. More importantly, why was it so hard to apologise for the stuff he said-
“So, how’s everything between you and Y/n?” 
Kaveh turns to him with widened eyes whilst Alhaitham’s poker face doesn’t move an inch, deceivingly apathetic.
“Good, we’ve been hanging out a lot more recently,” the other guy says, who Alhaitham quickly recognises to be your project partner and distaste rises in his stomach like bile. 
“Aye, good for you, man! So when are you going to ask Y/n out?”
“No way, bro, not yet. I’m such a wimp, but I hope I grow the balls to ask soon because I really like-”
“-looks like you got some competition!” The blond nudges Alhaitham, and if it were anyone else, they would not have glanced twice at the grey-haired who seemed unmoving and uninterested. However, Kaveh is not anyone else because he noticed the darkened look in Alhaitham’s eyes instantly, anger seeping into his composed gaze as his nose scrunches in disgust. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“So, you and Alhaitham still aren’t talking?” Kaveh asks, leaning on the table of the restaurant with curious ears, hoping that he can grab some answers out of you as to why there was a stalemate between you and his roommate.
“Nope,” you sigh. 
“Why not?”
“I’m just-” you pinch the bridge of your nose, “I’m just waiting on an apology from him.”
“An apology? Why? What did he say?”
“He didn’t tell you?”
“You know how he is. Always insufferably secretive, so no, I don’t know anything that happened.” 
“Alhaitham just said some hurtful things to me, and he was being weird when I told him I was going to dinner with a friend of mine. Just kept being in my business.”
“Really?” The architecture student quirks a brow, confusion plastered on his face. “That’s not like Alhaitham at all.”
“I know, right? He kept trying to be like ‘don’t hang out with him’ and ridiculed me for not playing my part as an executive of the Sumeru society,” you complained, “like sorry I have other things I want to do.”
Kaveh nods in understanding as the conversation briefly stops when the waiter comes to drop off utensils at your table. As soon as they were gone, however, you begin again.
“And even though he was all up in my business, trying to tell me what not to do, he then said that I wasn’t special, which is so confusing because like-”
“-hold on. Alhaitham said that you weren’t special?” You nod at his parroted claim. “To him?” 
“Yeah. Stung like shit when he said that, especially since I thought we were friends but guess not,” you murmur sadly, fiddling with the fork.
Later that night, almost immediately after meeting you over dinner, Kaveh barges into his roommate’s room, not even changing out of his outside clothes. The sudden intrusion shocks Alhaitham who was busy typing on a document, textbook splayed open beneath him but momentarily forgotten as the blond takes a seat on the bed.
“What the- not even a hello?” The grey-haired asks, confused by this uncharacteristic silence of Kaveh’s. It’s pretty normal for the blond to barge into his room without notice, but it was not normal for him to be so quiet, practically brooding on the mattress. “Whatever. Where have you been? Have you eaten yet, because I made-”
“When will you just confess to Y/n?”
The mention of your name causes a spike in Alhaitham’s heartbeat and he swivels around instantly, attention fully directed towards his roommate. “Where is this coming from?”
“Y/n told me everything that happened between you two by the way-”
“-what, when?”
“Tonight, we just met for dinner.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“What would you have done if you knew? Showed up and made things worse?” He doesn’t say anything in retaliation, merely shutting his mouth and furrowing his eyebrows. “Why did you say that Y/n wasn’t special to you?” 
“I didn’t,” Alhaitham sighs, very loud and very perplexed. “I didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did.”
“Don’t you miss Y/n? You two used to hangout so often.”
“I do, of course I do!” He exclaims, burrowing his face in his hands. 
“So why aren’t you apologising?” 
“Because whenever I’m around Y/n, I’m not who I normally am,” he mutters, “especially everything whenever that project partner is around-”
“Jealous, much?”
“I’m not jealous.”
“Oh come on, you’re ridiculous. Stop pushing away your feelings and just be honest with yourself, Alhaitham! Y/n is not just a friend to you and you know it.”
“But, we are just friends-”
“So you mean to tell me that if I hung out with someone else- like if I hung out with Cyno, you would be pissed?”
“What? No, of course not.”
“Then why is it different with Y/n?” Once again, Alhaitham doesn’t have an answer to the question, sitting as still as a statue hunched over his desk. “Fine, I’ll spell it out to you. You like Y/n, more than just a friend!”
The silence leftover from Kaveh’s outburst is tense and full as the grey-haired lets the words sink in. 
“I’ll let you think about it,” the blond murmurs, voice softening dramatically as he stalks out of the room. Before he closes the door, however, he leaves a few final words. “Just- be honest with yourself, Alhaitham, and I wouldn’t delay trying to talk to Y/n.”
A sharp click rings through the room.
Alhaitham is no stranger to being alone, for who needs the company of others when you are happiest by yourself? Yet, in the weeks that you have not been speaking to him, a cardinal urge as been growing each and each day, wanting him to do something so atypical of him: to reach out and make the first move. Every passing day doesn’t lessen the thoughts that plague his mind, rather, they make him more and more impatient, because what if you get swept away by your project partner? 
(What if he’ll be too late? What if you won’t know of these powerful emotions that are steering through the storm in his heart? What if you won’t know just how badly he was been wanting you- wanting to see you, wanting to apologise, wanting to see you beam at him like you always would.
What if you won’t know that he adores you, especially now that he’s figured it out?).
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
A rain droplet falls and lands on your nose, another lands on your forehead, then another lands on your lip then more and more keep falling from the cloudy sky, falling through the leaves and landing on the bench you were currently sitting on. Goodness, you should have checked the weather before leaving your dorm. Why was it now out of all times that it had to rain, what would Alhaitham think after he finally decided to reach out to talk?
Taking your phone out to message the grey-haired about relocating, an umbrella is suddenly held over you, stopping the gentle drizzle from falling onto you. Looking up, you’re greeted by a familiar face that you have been missing too much recently.
“Hello, you,” you breathe, voice gentle and quiet and Alhaitham feels like he can finally breathe after so long, the scent of rain washing away all perplexion.
He nods at you in greeting before offering you the bouquet of flowers he was holding. A gorgeous arrangement of pink of white stare prettily at you and a man even more gorgeous expects you to accept it.
“For me?” You ask.
“For you.”
“Thank you, they’re so beautiful,” you take his gift with gentle hands, holding it close to your chest. 
“I want to apologise,” he firmly states, getting straight to the point; very Alhaitham of him. “For treating you the way I have been recently.”
You beam at him, so bright and so gorgeous that it renders him speechless, a feat pretty difficult when it comes to someone like Alhaitham who has a whole dictionary of words, in multiple languages too. Somehow, they all flock out of his mind the second you smile at him.  
“I accept your apology, thank you for reaching out, must have been hard for someone like you, huh?” You tease, standing up from the bench.
“Well, I had do for someone as special as you.” The grey-haired’s voice is deceivingly confident and assured, but you know better, especially when he looks away to hide his expression with his neatly styled bangs. 
“No need for the flattery, you know, I’ve already forgiven you.” There’s a moment of silence that occupies the air, caused by Alhaitham’s hesitation as he fishes his brain for the courage to ask you out. You speak before he can get a word out, however. “I got asked out the other day.”
“By your groupmate?”
“He has a name, you know, but, yeah. I rejected him, though,” you laugh awkwardly, almost like you were trying to cope with it by playing it off. “Did you know that he would do that?” 
“Yes. I did.”
“Is that why you were so adamant on me not hanging out with him?”
“I guess you could say that. We can talk more about it another time,” he tells you, voice gentle and caring to mask the subtle hit of jealousy he feels in his chest, scolding himself for letting someone else confess to you before him. However, it’s a minute sensation in comparison to the triumph Alhaitham feels knowing that you rejected the other party. 
“We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?”
“We do, but I want to ask you something first.” 
You nod, hugging the bouquet closer to your chest, anticipation heavy in the air as you spur him to continue. 
“If I asked you out, would you reject me too?”
A mere second passes by where you don’t respond, yet the second stretches out to what feels like eternity as Alhaitham’s stomach churns. Patience is something he doesn’t lack, but how can he be patient when his heart wants you so bad? 
Then, you take his hand, and the heavens sing at the feeling of your hand in his. “I wouldn’t, but are you asking me out?”
“Are you free right now?”
“I am. Why?”
“Let’s go out then. On a date.”
“I'd love to.” You rise up to place a lingering kiss on his cheek, one that has his heart racing with joy rather than frustration.
The smile you earn is gentle, shy, but says more than Alhaitham's words ever can.
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© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
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channelinglament · 1 year
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Sksjdjjkskskskskksk
I know I should be focusing more on reqs, but I had to take this off my mind skskksskks (btw I'm rn in the underground belobog part of story) (I kinda called it SAHSR as in self aware hsr)
☆•°Self-Aware Honkai Star Rail°•☆
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Tw: no proofread, mentioned drowning(but it didn't happen), war, hate, religious themes, self awareness, kinda ooc, grammar mistakes because I am typing this at 12AM instead of sleeping, isolation
So, you know how in the beginning we play as Kafka? Yeah, I'm pretty sure she felt your presence. At first she was kinda weirded out, and was on guard. Who knows what you would do to her, while controlling her?
Oh look, you're helping her.. Hmm, maybe you aren't that bad after all. Still on guard, but thankful. With you she seems to fight more faster and is more efficient.
Same goes with Silver Wolf. They don't seem to mind your presence that much.
You even helped them to pick a trailblazer! But after picking them, you left Kafka and Silver Wolf. They didn't really mind it. They have been doing good without you, so it should be fine!
Meanwhile, the trailblazer is confused. First, they don't remember anything except their own name(or the name you gave them), then Kafka leaves and someone is watching over them. Oh how confusing and strange. But they caught early on that you're helping them. You're not an enemy.
During their "adventures" trailblazer starts thinking of you as a family. Kinda annoying since you control their body most the time (unless it's a cutscene) but you're cool nonetheless. They see you as a safespace.
Meanwhile March 7th and Dan Heng don't understand what is happening. Who is controlling them? Why after they met trailblazer? Why are you controlling them?
I think March would, just like the trailblazer, like you and find you annoying at the same time. Dan Heng would stay on guard (but also see you as safe space/nice person to hang with). Not as much on guard as when you first...met but still. It'll take him time to get off guard. The more time you spend with them, the more familiar they are with you, the more they like you.
Why annoyed, you may ask? Well, imagine you want to.. for example fight, but someone controls your movement and does it instead of you. Or goes the other way (aka exploring) instead of the path you've originally chosen.
They certainly would like when you make them stronger. No matter who is on your team, they'll like it (I mean, who wouldn't?)
But.. sometimes, even if they like you, they get tired of always being on the team. Thank you, yes, but they need to rest too. They mostly rest when you're offline, since..time kinda stops there. But when you're online? damnnn they walk and fight so much.. (I fr walk everywhere to find enemies to fight, so uhh, if you're like me, they would be tired and maybe annoyed at it)
I think some characters would even hate you. It doesn't apply to the main trio btw, they'll always like you. The reason some may hate you is that they have so much stuff to do, yet you choose them to walk around and fight all day. They're even supposed to be here! (For example, using Herta when fighting someone in Belobog)
If they could, they would scold you. But sadly game doesn't allow that.
It only appears in normal, self aware circumstances. Aka a normal self aware. Some like you, some hate you. You just kinda exist. (That one strange friend/sibling, y'know?)
But what if they would see you as a God? Something divine? Like in SAGAU?
Well, you're doomed, what can I say?
Everyone would want to be in your team. Oh, poor Gacha system.
They would hate it tbh. While in just self aware some would avoid you on purpose (aka busy characters), here? Where everyone sees you as a divine being? Oh dear..
Imagine several people trying to come through a single door, all at the same time? Yeahhh that's what happens. The standard and limited banner would literally fist fight while trying to get "home" to you. So don't be surprised if nobody comes home, at all.
But some may cooperate, and you may get more 5☆ or 4☆! Basically characters you wanted.
Those on your team would be proud! Mostly if the main trio are still there. Some would be envious of trailblazer. You're always with them, even if they're not on your team.(how could you?!)
Kafka and Silverwofl would be devastated. I'm pretty sure Silverwolf could possibly destroy the gacha system and come home. Only her (and maybe Kafka)
People in Belobog would hate the lore and everything game makes them do what they do. They're so happy they met you! You're here to save them! They don't want to fight you, so please don't be mad at them.
Honestly, if you were to get isekai'ed into hsr, I would recommend to the normal au.
The ones who hate you would just tell you off and never interact again, while your family/friends would hang out with you. Plus you could help a lot in Astral Express!
Maybe get Himeko and Mr.Yang some tea? Or help Pom Pom with whatever he needs?
If you get into the Worshipping Lunatics au..? I feel sorry for you.. You would never rest-
Whether you choose to stay at Astrak Express, or Herta's *I forgot the name* or whatever, they are all ready to wage war against each other. And if you decided to stay somewhere, that means you clearly favor them and their place more! Those who were chosen are happy/smug. While other try to improve their place/copy the place you've chosen to make you reconsider and stay with them.
The amount of gifts.. try to not drown okay?
They might even all agree to keep you in one place. Lock you in there and hope you won't be mad at them.
That's all for now
(Gotta work on reqs now or in the morning, they're still open btw)
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fairuzfan · 7 months
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hello!! I don't know if this is appropriate (pls do not feel obligated to answer) but i was wondering what were ur thoughts on the israeli grass-roots movement Standing Together. I first found out abt them through a tumblr post that shared this substack article (https://theconnector.substack.com/p/if-its-not-helping-then-shut-the). the article immediately put an extremely bad taste in my mouth towards the movement and its founders, but i dont know if i'm being overly-critical of them.
Hey thanks for sending this in. No worries, it's totally ok. I was actually debating whether or not to publish this, mostly because I was afraid this would distract from Gaza, but I decided that it's imperative to stop normalizers from squeezing their way into the movement. Remember, the demands of the Palestinian people begin and end with liberation. Everything else is irrelevant and pointless to the cause.
So first off — I don't think you're being overly-critical of them at all. The first red flag of both this article and the group themselves is that they often exchange "Palestinian" with "Arab" and "Israeli" with "Jewish." That right off the bat shows me they have no respect for Palestinians and see Jewish people and Palestinians as mutually exclusive categories. I've spoken on this blog before about how racist it is to assume no Palestinian is Jewish and vice versa and this group really illustrates the forced division they imagine within their own goals and wording.
The article itself is quite anti-Palestinian in its erasure — it talks about avoiding words like "genocide," and "apartheid," and "ethnic cleansing" because "they are serious people trying to actually get something done." I really don't understand why not using those words makes you a serious person. If anything, it erases a description of how to define what it happening to Palestinians.
The whole redefinition of "peace" in this article and group is just calmness. These people are not advocating for peace in which families are reunited and land is given back — they are advocating for a muted version of the status quo of the current political system, just with less obviously fanatical governments. Peace cannot be attained when the people directly affected cannot have a say in defining it. They won't even say the word "apartheid." It's not some scholarly word with no meaning — it has actual consequences and effects on people (click). Palestinians are tried in military court. Their movement is monitored and restricted. It means that there are different legal systems for different people (click)! If you reject that this exists, then you're not interested in making the lives of Palestinians better — you're only interested in making your own life more comfortable.
As soon as you remove our ability to say words like "genocide" and "apartheid", you remove our ability to determine what happens specifically to Palestinians based on racism. By only saying "Palestinians are getting killed" an Israeli can come in and say "well so am I, by Hamas! Let's work together to end the killing" when it ignores that this is a systematic effort to completely wipe out all trace of Palestinians from the world.
It's like saying, "Don't say you have arthritis, say your joints hurt. And well, that happens to everyone, so let's just find a way to stop all our joints from hurting!" Then you work with people who fundamentally don't understand your pain and symptoms, oversimplifying your situation to the point of malicious universality. Sure, everyone's joints hurt, but my joints are hurting because my immune system is attacking them, not because of old age. You can't help my arthritis the same way you can wear a heat/cold patch to sooth your joints — there are other problems you're ignoring that all work together to cause me systematic pain and might cause bigger problems in the future if left untreated properly.
Similar symptoms don't mean similar causes and ignoring that is fundamentally ignoring the root issue and attempting to trivialize Palestinian's suffering. As soon as you take away the words to describe our situation, it doesn't sound so bad, does it?
Now, basically, the... weirdest part of the article is this excerpt:
People like him in Israel are very aware of how the left here is talking about them, and it’s not helping. “You can call me a colonizer or a settler,” he declared, “but I’m not going anywhere. And neither are the Palestinians.” When people chant, “Palestine will be free,” he said, “we Israelis hear, ‘without you.’ In the same way that a lot of Palestinians hear the ministers in Bibi’s government speak and think they want to do the same thing to them.” The problem as they both see it is that we are caught between two polar opposites. “Hamas believes in Greater Palestine,” Green said. “And on the other side we have people who believe in the idea of Greater Israel.” Indeed, that concept is in the charter of Netanyahu’s Likud Party. “Both sides have very problematic governing bodies,” he added. And the status quo of maintaining the occupation and managing the conflict has been exploded now.
Well, first off, Hamas is not the only one who believes in "Greater Palestine." Palestinians around the globe have been fighting for that since 1948. Second off, it's quite odd that you would center yourself in the wake of the ongoing slaughter of 10,000 people, with no end in sight. Right now, I would assume you'd be advocating for an end to the mass killings first and foremost, but you seem to be more worried about your right to stolen land.
Third, this completely erases the violence done to Palestinians the past 75+ years in favor for a "peace" that will only allow citizens of Israel comfort in their lives. Sure Palestinian citizens of Israel might have more comfortable lives, maybe (although I doubt it). But what about Gaza, which has been ravaged by Israel? What about the people in the Occupied Territories, whose economy depends on Israel, which controls it? What about the millions of refugees around the world who can't so much as see the place where they grew up because they've been exiled? The colonization of Palestine by Israel is not so old — there are people STILL ALIVE who participated in the massacres of Palestinians in 1948 and 1967 and walk around without facing any real consequences for that. My great-grandmother had seen both and she only passed away a couple of years ago. Where is the "peace" for her? Where is the "peace" for millions like her who still dream of going back to their childhood home?
This group AND the article tries to cloud your view into illustrating two opposing groups with equal power. They aren't. Palestinians, unfortunately, endure systematic oppression both within Gaza and throughout Palestine. Each and every time they try to resist peacefully, they've been shot, abducted, or imprisoned. The Great March of Return is one such example. BDS is also an example, yet that has constantly been outlawed by American governments. There have been a plethora of Palestinian artists, writers, and filmmakers who have been silenced or killed for advocating for a Free Palestine. Most recently, this included Heba Abu-Nada who was an award winning poet and writer who was martyred on October 20th after getting shelled by an Israeli missile. Ghassan Kanafani also was assassinated last century. The list goes on. Palestinians have no hope of "changing the system from within" because that internal change will always depend on the mercy of the Israelis that pretend to ally themselves with the Palestinians. Someone in Gaza cannot leave their refugee camp and go back to their ancestral home because no one in this group is advocating for that — and remember, the right of return is an essential part of the demands of the Palestinian people and we cannot ignore that for a forced "peace" that favors calmness over actual justice.
Now as we examine the group themselves, here is their mission statement/goal:
Standing Together is a progressive grassroots movement mobilizing Jewish and Palestinian citizens of Israel against the occupation and for peace, equality, and social justice. We know that the majority have far more in common than that which sets us apart and only a tiny minority benefits from the status quo. The future that we want-peace and independence for Israelis and Palestinians, full equality for everyone in this land, and true social, economic, and environmental justice — is possible. To achieve this future, we must stand together as a united front: Jewish and Palestinian, secular and religious, Mizrahi and Ashkenazi, rural and urban, and people of all genders and sexual orientations. As the largest Jewish-Arab grassroots movement in Israel, we are committed to creating an alternative to our existing reality and building the political strength to make this transformation possible.
Yet again, they are separating "Palestinian" and "Jewish," reinforcing this dichotomy that's so harmful. AND they're interchanging "Palestinian" and "Arab," which erases the diversity within Palestinian society. A group that makes the distinction between "Palestinian" and "Jewish" shows that they are not interested in the restitution of Palestinians but rather solidifying their own position within society by emphasizing a false dichotomy between "Palestinians" and "Jews" with no potential for overlap.
They mention "true justice" but "true justice" doesn't exist if there are no reparations towards the people who have been exiled and displaced, murdered, and tortured the past 75+ years. Justice is not an abstract concept — it is adhering to the demands of the people most impacted by systematic oppression, which is the Palestinians.
Looking at their leadership, there are only a couple of Palestinians with the vast majority of them being non-Palestinian. Sorry, but I'm wholly uninterested in "peace" and "equality" movements that are not made up of majority Palestinians. It's only common sense that you would expect such a movement to be led by Palestinians themselves — but this group seems to use Sally Abed as a token Palestinian who furthers their narrative of wanting "peace" in Israeli society. And even looking at their action items, you can see they make a point about emphasizing safety for the *Israeli* citizens above all else, stating that their far right government does nothing to serve the citizens of Israel. They claim it will also bring safety for Gazans, but how? You can advocate for a change in the government, yes, but if the people in Gaza are subject to getting their rights taken away based on the whims of whoever happens to be in power then no amount of "internal" activism in Israeli society will help them. They will always be at the mercy of the people who have a vested interest in erasing the people of Gaza and the West Bank so that they may take over their land.
Please remember, the civil rights movement of the 60s and the BLM Movement of this century were led by and FOR Black people of the United States because they were the ones making the demands for a change in their circumstances. Because at the end of the day, the people who are the most oppressed deserve the right to decide how their future appears and should not be dictated by the oppressor in any way.
This group tries to make a separation between the "Israeli people" and the "Israeli government." Right away, I have to laugh. They act as if the colonization of Palestine is too old for anyone to remember its origins — no. I had family living in Palestine as recently as '67. Maybe *this* generation didn't choose to settle in Palestine, but the previous generation did. And the generations before that. Before 1948, Israel didn't even exist. Hell, before a couple hundred years ago, BORDERS didn't exist. Not to mention, mandatory conscription means that most civilians will have been directly part of the suppressing forces, making them liable for the material effects of colonization. Why are people so resistant to the idea of undoing colonialism and its effects? I cannot think of any other reason than because they have a vested interest in keeping those borders up, in emphasizing nationality because they're one of the groups of people that is benefited from the establishment of a "Jewish State."
So in that, unless you call for an end to the idea of the "Jewish State" in Palestine, then I cannot think of you as a sincere advocate for Palestinian rights — this group especially plays at normalization of a muted version of the status quo rather than actual justice and reparations. The "Israeli advocates" within this group will benefit first and foremost in their own activism — therefore it's hard for me to view them in a positive light.
All activism for Palestinians should center around giving Palestinians reparations, as well as giving reparations to all indigenous victims of colonization. I think this group only tries to muddy the waters to make people forget what they're fighting for. I honestly do not understand why liberation scares you, if it means that no nation-state will have complete and total power over you and your family.
"Free Palestine" is an anti-colonial movement. Such a thing is possible — but you have to try to make it possible. Those against the unending liberation of all people are one of those who have the most to benefit from the continuation of colonization.
Right now, your main concern should be the people of Gaza and the people of the West Bank, and ensuring their safety and longevity in the face on continued erasure. "Peace" is all well and good but who exactly gets to define that? Who gets to benefit most from it? Unless you can unequivocally answer "ALL Palestinians," then you're not an ally — you're only interested in helping yourselves.
Remember — the fact that we even had to fight for our rights is itself an injustice. At the very least, ask the people who are most affected what they want before you listen to Israelis who have a vested interest in keeping the state of Israel alive.
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mcflymemes · 4 months
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PROMPTS FROM A COURT OF WINGS AND RUIN *  assorted lines from the novel by sarah j. maas, adjust as necessary
only you can decide what breaks you. only you.
tonight, i want you to wear that crown to bed. only the crown.
i believe everything happens for a reason.
this could be a very bad idea.
we can make whatever rules we want.
leave a note... or tell me next time.
you have every right to question me.
i don't see you spouting poetry.
i missed you. every second. every breath.
you're my equal. and as much as that means we have each other's backs in public, it also means we grant each other the gift of honesty... of truth.
is there a purpose to your visit, or may i return to my book?
kindness can thrive even amongst cruelty.
it's a rare person to face who they are and not run from it... not be broken by it.
it's fine if you drink directly from it.
i wish i had been there to stop it. i should have been there to stop it.
my goal was bigger than revenge.
i belong to no one, but my heart belongs to you.
i hadn't realized i was a villain in your narrative.
there are many types of strength beyond the ability to wield a blade and end lives.
you are your own person, you make your own choices.
i'd like a word.
you are a better friend to me than i ever was to you.
i want to share this bed with you. i want you to hold me.
remember that you are a wolf, and you cannot be caged.
we're all a little broken in our own ways... in places no one might see.
i would have waited five hundred more years for you. a thousand years.
you are a warrior, and warriors know when to pick their fights.
they took what is ours. and we do not allow these crimes to go unpunished.
i believe that everything happened exactly the way it had to... so i could find you.
it is the family you make, not the one you are born into, that matters.
ready to be wicked?
one life may change the world.
i missed you, too.
this is war. we don't have the luxury of good ideas - only picking between the bad ones.
it is a new world, and we must decide how we are to end this old one and begin it anew.
i see all of you. and there is not one part that i do not love with everything i am.
it'll be dangerous.
i have no regrets in my life, but this.
i will find you in the next world, the next life.
what we think to be our greatest weakness can sometimes be our biggest strength.
i won't tell anyone unless you say so.
when you erupt, make sure it is felt across worlds.
you bow to no one.
leave this world a better place than how you found it.
you do not fear. you do not falter. you do not yield.
will you come with me on this adventure, and all the rest?
do not get distracted. do not linger.
it's already ended badly.
for someone who was just dead, you seem remarkably relaxed.
they're terribly cruel to me.
here's to family reunions.
i will fight with everything i have, too.
what time are we back in the training ring tomorrow?
daylight is a precious resource.
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mysteryshoptls · 4 months
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SSR Azul Ashengrotto - Platinum Jacket Vignette
"Happy 100th Anniversary"
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[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
Azul: That painting was done by a painter from the Coral Sea… I'm rather surprised at the number of merfolk focused paintings here in a museum on the surface.
Azul: I suppose I should expect nothing less from this Land of Dawning Museum with 100 years of history lining its halls. Their collection includes a wide variety of works.
Azul: Fufu, it does bring me pride a supporter of the museum. I must do my part well… Oh?
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???: She's a lot bigger than I expected… Did the Sea Witch really need to grow to such a size…?
Azul: Well, well, Jamil-san. If there is anything I can elucidate you on this painting of the Sea Witch, I would happy to do so.
Jamil: Don't just listen in on someone else's personal mutterings like that. Your ears just pick up everything, huh.
Azul: The scene depicted in this painting is of when the Sea Witch was admonishing someone who tried to change their contract.
Jamil: And don't just start explaining without being prompted. Even I know about the story of when she transformed to that titanic size.
Jamil: But when I actually see this painting in person, she's just much larger than I had imagined… It's just hard to believe.
Azul: You believe this depiction is a fictional exaggeration of what actually happened?
Azul: I completely understand that. I had the same thoughts the first time I saw this painting.
Azul: Nevertheless, this painting has faithfully reproduced a well-known legend passed down in the Coral Sea.
Azul: The Sea Witch embodies the spirit of compassion. And yet, she also demonstrated her anger at the mer who broke their contract.
Azul: But all of it was for the purpose to reform the soul of the mer who had acted in bad faith!
Jamil: What, she disciplined them for their own good? …Actually, yeah, there are some people who don't learn their lesson from just a light scolding.
Azul: Indeed. That is how it is taught in the Coral Sea.
Azul: You cannot just spoil someone rotten, there needs to be some discipline as well. I believe that shows true compassion.
Jamil: I can't believe something reasonable actually came from your mouth… What's wrong, are you sick or something?
Azul: Not at all. I only say this because there was someone close to me who would do the exact same thing.
Jamil: You personally know a mer who is similar to the Sea Witch? Who could that be?
Azul: My grandmother.
Azul: She always dotes on me… And when I was a child, I was definitely spoiled rotten by her.
Azul: However, she didn't hold back on scolding me when I didn't heed her advice and mixed some dangerous potions together.
Azul: And that was beyond terrifying… She was as furious as whirlpools in a strait.
Jamil: Whirlpools in a strait, huh… I bet that was as intense at the Sea Witch in this painting.
Azul: Indeed she was. Even if I had wanted to swim away, my legs were shaking so much, I couldn't even move.
Azul: However, I do understand now that she was tough because she had been worried about me.
Azul: Even after leaving home, I diligently put forth the effort every single day while always remembering her teachings.
Azul: So whenever I go to work, I remember what she would say to me, and use that to strengthen myself before beginning.
Azul: She would say… "Become a mer who is capable of helping someone else."
Jamil: …I see.
Jamil: I gotta say, I wasn't expecting you to be that much of a grandma's boy. That's a bit of a shocker.
Azul: A grandma's boy… Well, I suppose. I am who I am now thanks to her.
Azul: Of course, it also wouldn't be incorrect to say that I learned the importance of proper compensation from her, either.
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[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
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Azul: This is… a painting that depicts story of when the Fairest Queen disguised herself as an old woman and visited a young girl who lived in a forest.
Azul: If I recall, as a way to help the young girl in love, she personally came to deliver apples that the she needed for a dish.
Jamil: So she was going to get through to her love interest through their stomach, hm. If the Fairest Queen herself brought them all the way there, those apples must have been especially delicious.
Azul: Indeed, one can almost smell that sweet apple aroma just by looking at this painting.
Azul: I'm sure it would be rather difficult for a painter from the oceans to draw such a real-looking apple.
Jamil: You think? Apples are imported under the sea, too. I feel like they could draw it by looking at that…
Azul: Of course, we absolutely can get our hands of apples in the sea. However, there is a large difference in how the light hits it and how the color shines upon it when it is at the sea floor compared to the surface.
Azul: Unless that painter has spent enough years on land, the way they draw them will be completely different from how they look on land.
Jamil: Interesting. Speaking of differences, Azul… Is it true that things smell differently on land and in the sea?
Azul: Oh, you're quite knowledgeable.
Azul: It often does feel as though the same things smell differently under the sea or on the surface.
Azul: When I first came on land, every scent was new to me, so every time I came across something new, I made it a point to determine its aroma.
Jamil: You just went around sniffing everything left and right… Haha, makes me laugh just imagining it.
Jamil: I bet everything smelling different caused some confusion, huh.
Azul: I suppose so. However, I did make some new discoveries. I especially found my meal times to be very valuable.
Azul: I can never forget that moment I realized just how different the flavors of ingredients that we also had in the ocean could be just from the change in aroma.
Azul: People do often say that fragrance is a valuable part of determining the taste factor of a dish.
Jamil: That's true. Oftentimes spices are used as a way to add fragrance in the same way.
Jamil: So, what was the dish that made you realize that even the same ingredients could affect the flavor?
Azul: Just a simple grilled dish. Char-grilled meat or fish, for example.
Azul: Of course, I've eaten things made on land underwater before, but the flavor was completely different.
Jamil: Char-grilling, hm. I can definitely see that as having a different flavor, since those dishes heavily rely on aromas.
Azul: Indeed. As such, at Jade and Floyd's suggestion, we had a barbeque soon after we came to the surface…
Azul: However, our ingredients became charred due to our inability to control the heat properly, and smoke kept getting into our eyes… It was one hardship after another, since we had no idea how to do it effectively.
Azul: Not to mention that Jade and Floyd found it entertaining to keep blowing the smoke in my direction… It was a wretched time.
Jamil: Sounds like fun to me. I can picture just how disgruntled you must have been.
Azul: Oh, is that right? I'll make sure to invite you next time, Jamil-san, since you seem interested.
Jamil: …I think I'll pass, actually.
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[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
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Jamil: This is a painting of the Lord of the Underworld and his human helper from his legends, huh. This lady looks pretty unhappy.
Azul: It is said that they would have troubles compromising often, and it seems that she is very reluctant towards something here.
Azul: In addition, she had failed in a task that the Lord had given her, and made a major misstep by reporting incorrect information.
Azul: However, he didn't abandon her and instead gave her a chance to redeem herself.
Azul: How utterly generous he is… The Lord of the Underworld is a wonderful inspiration as someone who knows how to rouse his people.
Jamil: Well, I can't deny that, but… To me, there's something to be said about being too tolerant.
Jamil: I know I personally would rather not have an increase in workload because something gets promised without thinking.
Azul: Are you perhaps talking about matter of raising the PR level of Night Raven College that the Headmage requested?
Azul: When that topic was brought up in the last Housewarden meeting, Kalim-san was so forthright in accepting the task.
Jamil: You accepted it, too. This is an unbearable weight on me, and my fellow dorm students, you know.
Jamil: I get why softhearted Kalim took it on, but why would you go out of your way to accept this sort of annoying task?
Azul: No reason why… The Headmage was in need, so I volunteered out of the goodness of my heart.
Azul: Also… If this PR were to succeed, then it would be beneficial to me, as well.
Jamil: Beneficial to you?
Azul: If the good name of our academy is spread, then that will also reflect on us, you see?
Azul: More than ever people will recognize us as being students from that Night Raven College…
Azul: And if it is a grand success, then as one of the organizers, I may have the chance to grow my own opportunities.
Jamil: So that's why. You're completely different from Kalim, who just took it on because the Headmage asked.
Jamil: But anyway, this is all just hypothetical, right? There's also the chance that it's all just a waste of time and effort.
Azul: That is true. However, that is no reason to sit back and do nothing.
Azul: My main goal while at this academy is to maximize my own marketability before heading out into society.
Azul: In order to achieve that, there is nothing I am unwilling to do. I must take every opportunity that is given to me.
Jamil: Sigh, that's just like you.
Jamil: Speaking of which, have you already come up with how you're planning on increasing PR?
Jamil: I hear that the organizer will have to implement the best idea personally. That's a pretty hefty load, don't you think?
Azul: Fufu, I can't go into details, but… Of course, I've thought of some feasible ideas.
Azul: If you're interested, why not join us, Jamil-san?
Azul: It would be remiss if I were to completely monopolize this wonderful of an opportunity.
Jamil: No thanks. I'll be leaving now before I get wrapped up in anything troublesome.
Azul: Fufu, and there he slips away from me. …Hm? This painting…
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Azul: It's the mermaid who fell in love with a human from one of the Sea Witch's legends. She seems so naïve and vulnerable; one prone to being led on.
Azul: Fufu… The world is cruel, after all. I wonder how much of reality she actually understood.
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Requested by @pianostarinwonderland.
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popopretty · 1 year
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BSD Chapter 107
"In the Narrow Room" - Part 3.1
We got a rather long chapter this month and the plot is progressing! Asagiri is always so unpredictable and I love it so much.
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Please note that I don't speak English nor Japanese as a native language and I am also super excited about the chapter so I may make mistakes here and there. Please have mercy on me ;_;
SPOILERS AHEAD
After hearing Teruko talk about the true purpose of The Decays of Angel, Atsushi's head becomes confused with all the thoughts of what is right or wrong. He wishes someone could answer all of his questions. He remembers how Dazai used to show up in his thought when he struggles, and wonder why this time he cannot hear Dazai's voice anymore.
He stops at the foot of the tower and notices Aya and Bram there. He tries to go and rescue them, but it turns out to be a trap, with Akutaga jumps out to attack him.
Sigma is finding his way in the prison after escaping from the elevator. He thinks about what happened. He remembers Dazai checking the elevator before getting on it, and realizes that Dazai already knew the elevator was dangerous from the beginning, and he probably just got on it because it is what needs to be done to save the Agency. Sigma also recalls Dazai's expression underwater, he wonders if its the face when Dazai realized that the elevator was going to fall, and that's why Dazai acted the way he did. Sigma wants to run away by himself because he thinks an ordinary person like him cannot do anything. He then found a paper on the floor. It is written in Russian, that says "Save me" (Notes: The original text is just "Please save", it is not clear who it is telling him to save)
Back to Atsushi and Akutagawa. Atsushi still doesn't understand what is happening. He tries to fight back and realizes that Akutagawa is not using his ability to guard himself. Akutagawa instead sucks the blood from his own hand to heal his wound. He doesn't try to cover himself because he can regenerate like that, and it means unless Atsushi kills him, there will be no way to stop him. Atsushi tries to tell him to stop, hoping his consciousness is still there, and that he still wants to ask Akutagawa why he saved his life that time.
In Mersault, Dazai is seen dragging himself and leaning against the wall, covered in blood with his legs broken. He looks up to the surveillance camera and tells Fyodor to put an end to his pain cuz it hurts so bad. Fyodor gladly accepts and sends Chuuya to finish him. Suddenly Sigma enters the room and shoots Fyodor in the shoulder, telling him to stop attacking Dazai. Sigma says he is there cuz he has promised Dazai to touch Fyodor to read his scheme in the airport. Fyodor asks why Sigma has to keep the promise with Dazai, which surprises Sigma himself. Fyodor then proceeds to say that Dazai has manipulated Sigma the whole time, and that normally Sigma is not that kind of a reckless person. He explains that at first, Sigma only wanted a "home" so he would not get used by anyone. But after watching Dazai, Sigma has come to realize that a lonely "home" is not enough. He has started to want not a place, but trust, a relationship where people rely on others without borrowing or trading anything. In other words, he has started to want to become a member of the ADA. Yet, Fyodor adds, it is not Sigma's own thought, but the trick Dazai uses to tamper with his heart.
Sigma thinks back of what Dazai has told him, and still decides to point the gun at Fyodor. Because even if it is a trick, Dazai has paid a big price for it, and accepting a customer's bet is the casino's way. He says he knows Fyodor is trying to manipulate him too, to cause distrust towards Dazai and makes him drop the gun. Sigma then adds that Dazai has won this manipulating competition.
According to the fact that Fyodor has to try to talk him into lower the gun, Sigma concludes that he has no other backup. He tells Fyodor he is going to touch him and read his information, but before that he wants Fyodor to tell him what his ability is, cuz its dangerous to touch someone whose ability might be activated by contact. In the last frame, Sigma changes the question from "What is your ability" to "What the hell are you?"
The chapter ends here. Next chapter will be out on June 2, 2023 (Japan time). Thank you for reading till the end!
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
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Genshin Sagau (?) Isekai Brainrot - Language
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I've seen like ONE small kinda related Genshin Sagau/isekai idea for this but I wanted more of it so BAD
It’s not the most interesting thing in the world, it’s about our modern vernacular vs. Teyvat's flowery speech
Pls feel free to expand on or add to this pLEASE TAG ME IF U DO IM STARVING OUT HERE :)))
So I saw someone write like one sentence abt this (can’t remember who :( sorry I’ll update if I find them ) or like a brutally honest version??
But I also took inspo from how fucking wordy and long conversations that are in Genshin, even with ppl like Xiao (the rude boy that he is) or even Tighnari who gets to the point pretty quickly
It goes smth like:
So, all of Teyvet, (esp ppl like Zhongli 💀 u know the ones) talk,, flowery.
Like, the whole Pride and Prejudice style speaking, euphemisms, metaphors, for some characters (or Npcs) its full on POETRY. 
Lookin’ at you Kazuha.
.
And going off of any variation of you being the Creator, (or otherwise an older mythical being?), they could have this thing where the older a deity/mythical thingy is, the simpler the speech. 
Kinda makes sense to them y’know? The older beings are serious, commanding, intimidating
And nothing says "I'm ancient as fuck and powerful as fuck" like simple blunt speech.
And being closer to the literal creation of the world, language would understandably be less complex (I’m assuming it’s the same as in human cultures in our world's history)
Like literally look at our fantasy typical stories, plenty of them have a dragon or ancient god that speaks in extremes, like so flowery its a metaphor, or so bluntly its startling (ie, "Be not afraid." "I am all powerful." etc etc)
And so, ancient powerful being = direct/blunt speech
..
...Y'know,, almost like our modern vernacular.
Like, part of some of our modern day comedy is purely based on a sentence being delivered bluntly for impact
Hell our ads and videos and content in general we always want to get to the point, to say things simply
So with this in mind, even if you try to deny being the Creator, they might still think you are, or at least a more minor ancient deity/creature
 .
(like the Seven Sovereigns/Phanes/Shades/etc. for example would sound eerily modern or at least easy for you to understand bc of this trait lol)
(Also I'm just assuming u know Genshin lore enough to know what I meant by that ^)
____
So, I love the AU where you just,, hitch a ride with the traveler like Paimon bc u start at the "beginning of the game",
And with every person you meet, you're like, "Ok, no, I promise this is just how my country/world speaks, it's not like that, I'm not some ancient deity…" 
And They're all like 🤨🤨🤨 "Well, fine traveler and companions, why does your speech sound so simplistic and sharp? Surely, you do not expect me to truly believe you.."
You: "Please I just talk like this, I'm a regular human."
Them: "Alright, if it is as you say,, you wish to not experience being "known" yes? Fear not, I will keep your secrets close to my chest."
You: "No, for the last time, that's not-" 
.
And it just keeps happening, lol
.
(srry I tried my best at emulate Genshin language + flowery speech idk how to do it)
.
Like maybe you would just sound weird or like a foreigner speaking y’know in simpler sentences bc they don't know the language as well as native speakers, at least that could be how you sound to NPCs and ppl who don’t know abt simpler speech meaning
.
...But the Adepti? Zhongli?? Barbatos maybe??? Even the Aranara??? Those who are old enough to maybe have heard how older beings speak or at least have knowledge of how they should speak/sound??
You couldn’t have predicted how shocked their faces were the second you opened you’re mouth… 
Sumeru scholars would freak tf out i stg, as soon as you meet Haypasia, she's already losing it, first the Irminsul progress, now this ancient being/Creator?? Girlie thinks its a sign lmao
.
(I’m an Aether lover, and also bc I think Lumine looks badass as Abyss ruler, so I’m gonna go with Aether for traveler sorry Lumine mains love yall T-T)
.
You, and Aether being equally confused at first pLEASE 😭 
lets say he speaks a little more fluffy than you at least, after all I’m assuming bc of the outfit that he’s from a fantasy-like place, and his replies can be a little fluffy like Teyvat’s residents, so he kinda fits in, kinda like everybody assumes he's just from another country when he gets to a new nation (at least that’s what I think happens??)
.
Like after (maybe Diluc?) Lisa, Kaeya, Venti, and Jean (who I think would all be knowledgeable, thru diff means, about this enough to maybe recognize the simpler speech = ancient god thing)
ALL reacted shocked as hell at hearing you talk, and would probably explain (or Paimon before then?) in that infuriatingly roundabout way, that you would usually skip a couple dialogue boxes just to avoid bc yOU ALREADY GOT THE POINT or alternatively WHATS THE POINT HERE?? JUST SAY IT, WHATS THE COMMISSION/QUEST FOR/WHAT DO I DO??
(Those blue highlights be savin my impatient life, and i actually like lore stuff 💀)
.
Oh that’s also another frustration. For you.
.
It would drive me crazy if I had to wait like,, 2-3 minutes for ppl to explain what they ate for dinner or sm shit
Like, now imagine that’s everyone, about everything.
You don’t know how anything gets done in battles or wars, like you need faster communication for that right??💀
.
Anyway, you, Aether and Paimon decide you just gotta not talk when you first meet people or like,, make sure you're gonna be around that person for a while so you don’t have to possibly get someone over the shock of your speech every time you guys talk to people 😭 that'd be so miserable I can already tell,,
Like at first, every convo ya’ll have had with people who recognize that direct speech trait as a thing, would take at least 10 minutes to finish talking about it/being shocked,,
It got so old so fast.
.
(Like I already can’t communicate that good with ppl irl bc I misunderstand them, or they do me, or they just dont get what I mean, and as my friends put it, which I think would fit here for any language shenanigans we go thru in Teyvat, "A Shakespearean level of misunderstanding, hilarious but such a downward spiral to watch, it just gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on...")
.
On another note, making fun of someone would be so fucking funny,
I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt that many characters, after getting used to your speech, would generally understand you (even if they always notice it, like an accent) and would actually rlly love hearing insults or even just generally how you would put things
(like maybe treating this almost like those vids of ppl with non-native english speaknig relatives/parents and its the most hilarious thing to watch them, usually get pissed 😭, at their kid, if u dont know what I mean look up on tiktok or smth)
And You just come off like those insults where you dont even use cuss words, you just like, drag queen read them into never showing their face again, and you did it in so few words!! 
They're amazed and oh, 
you've become the John Mulaney of Teyvat 
(Bad examples include:
Fontaine inventor: "...And I shall call my invention, crocks!"
You: "I wouldn't even be cremated in those." ) 
*Aether crying laughing in the background bc he never knows what you’re gonna say next, and Paimon's jaw dropped so hard
JFC this post is so long sorry, I probably will spam with a Part 2 but let me know if you’re interested in hearing more anyway!!
Thanks for reading this rambling!!
Or send in asks abt this 👀
Cheers,
🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
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amethxxt · 5 days
Text
i'm ranting about descendants again and this is a long one
Alright, I talked a little bit about this on twitter literally yesterday (https://x.com/amethxxt/status/1798768561613361458) but I wanted to do it here too, so here we are!!
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I think everyone has seen these pictures by now. It's from Descendants new book "The World of Auradon: Royals & Villains".
Now, at first, I got really excited (in a way, I still am) because it'll probably give me more material to use in my fics. Also, Uma looks absolutely stunning, so I immediately began reading her page and... Well, it's not the nicest things, right?
Like I said on twitter, I can't be the only one who sees the majorly different ways they talk about Uma and Mal.
With Mal, they start saying she's a "confident natural leader", and like- no, she's not, far from it.
I think the best version we got from Mal was on D1. She was such a good character and that's when I think the writers succeded the most with her - I believe it was hard to find someone who actively disliked or simply hated her.
When D2 came out, things went slightly downhill. Mal's inner conflict of not being the picture perfect Lady of the Court and feeling that the odd one out because she wasn't doing well in Auradon when compared to her friends is very realistic.
The pressure that she was feeling to be perfect and all the new things that came with being the King's girlfriend makes you understand why she was so anxious and wanted to leave. Now, I think we should all understand that this makes Mal a very insecure person.
She's insecure, she's flawed and runs away the first chance she gets because everything becomes too much. And if they wrote her like that, how is she a confident natural leader?
When the Core Four and Ben go after her, it's when things begin to change. Mal has a few moments in this movie: running away and leaving just a note to her best friend, claiming Dizzy was going to be fine when Evie felt sorry about leaving a child in the abusive place they all grew up in, betraying Uma's trust. Yeah.
I'm gonna make it very clear that I really like Mal as a character. I criticize her a lot because the writers started putting her in a pedestal, overpowering her and trying to erase anything that could be seen as bad.
Why would they have Mal apologize for using a love spell on Ben when they make such a cute couple and would be endgame anyways?
It gets worse in D3. I remember watching them announce that Hades was Mal's father and being like "No fucking way" because you want this girl to be not only half-fairy but a half-god?? Was this the only way to have his ember in the story?
Well, I think we got used to that plot after a while, but then - Oh, Mal's also Lady of the Court, she'll be a part of the decisions that concern the Isle of the Lost and a voice for the other VKs.
Yes, Mal is "a confident natural leader" who turns her back on her people and comes up to the idea of closing the Barrier for good to protect Auradon citizens.
Why do they refuse to bring up the fact that it was her idea?? Nevermind the fact that her and Ben weren't married yet, she was not the Queen and had absolutely no power to make that decision. They make Ben so useless, a King with no voice because he's not the main character, right?
So she makes a decision that's not up to her and proceeds to lie to all of her friends, makes empty promisses to both Celia and Uma, and when shit hits the fan, nothing happens.
Having Evie confront her about it is one of my favorite scenes, but what are the consequences? I understand that it was the final movie, but it's so rushed that makes everyone else feel out of character.
Mal and Evie can be the best of friends, but you can't tell me Mal would be like "I was wrong, I have to be a voice for everyone and I shouldn't have lied" and Evie would be just "Ok, perf".
And what about the opposite? When Mal betrays Uma for probably the third time, Uma has no trouble forgiving her? Of course they don't mention what happens in the books, they don't mention Mal trying to hurt Evie (or even get her killed lol) and they don't mention the "shrimpy" incident with Uma.
They don't talk about Mal's wrong doings the same way they talk about Uma.
Uma, according to the new book, is a "confident and resourceful VK with a major mean streak". Sorry, Uma has a mean streak? I don't think so. What Disney and Descendants keep doing is use the definition of a villain for a character who's an antagonist.
Villains have malicious intentions, they are evil. You're gonna tell me the girl who simply wants for all the children to get off the Isle, a place they were forced to live in along with murderers and other criminals, some of those who happened to be their parents, all while surviving off of the garbage that came from Auradon, is the evil one?
That is not to say Uma doesn't make mistakes or does bad things. Mal and Uma have the common point of using a love spell on Ben, which is awful and should be acknowledged as that, but they only do it in Uma's case.
"When Mal and her friends successfully freed Ben, Uma took it one step further by putting Ben under a magic love spell" x "She [Mal] used spells to mess with other students, to convince Ben that he loved her, and to change herself in order to fit in as Ben's girlfriend. But once she realized she needed to ditch the spell book and learn to survive without magic, she was able to become the queen she was always meant to be"
Those... are not the same to me. They detail every thing Uma does during D2, making it clear that using a love spell was worse than the previous actions of kidnapping him, but with Mal it almost feels like they excuse her actions because, eventually, she learned that magic wasn't the way to become who she was meant to be.
Also, what do you mean Mal felt guilty about the other VKs who were left behind? Mal didn't even look sad when her and Evie were leaving Dizzy behind! Evie was the one to come up with the idea to bring more children to Auradon, and when that magically turned into the VK Day (my arch-nemesis plotline along with Merlin Academy), she didn't look worried at all that it would them so long to free all the kids if they were going to pick 4 each time.
And again, her idea to close the Barrier for good (with no way in or out) would mean that eventually, everyone left in the Isle would die. I know it's Disney, and they would never make that happen, but if you're not going in to even leave your trash there (aka their food source), yeah, they're all dying.
Now, with Uma, they point out how she wanted to escape and get revenge on Mal, but like...... not really? Of course she mentions in D2 how she wants Mal's new turf and tries to make a deal with her to leave with her crew, but when she's actually free and we get into D3, it's been months (I think) and while Auradon's scared she's going to do something, we find out Uma spent all that time looking for a hole in the Barrier to get the kids out.
When she makes another deal to help Mal, all she asks for is the guarantee that every kid who wants to leave the Isle is able to do so. Who breaks that promise? The "villain" with the major mean streak or the confident natural leader?
I'm not saying that Mal is real villain, because she's really not. But she's far from how they describe her and if you're gonna tell me she's a natural leader, I better not see her bringing down the Barrier, letting both the kids and villains out, and acting like it's the right thing to do.
VK Day wasn't the answer to free the innocents, but bringing down the Barrier isn't it either! Mal doesn't "help convice Auradon citizens to accept all VKs into Auradon Prep" she just decides to do that lol
And again, that decision is not up to her, she had no legal right to do it. She was just Lady of the Court and nothing else.
Like I said on twitter, Disney and Descendants like Uma because she's a fan favorite, she was one since they announced her as a character. But they insist on the idea that Auradon changed her for the better, as if she was never someone who fought for what was right. She's not perfect either, but they can't write about her in a way that makes her look better than Mal.
How did Mal stop her at the end of D2? Mal didn't do anything, they were fighting, Ben made a speech, Uma turned around and left. That was it.
How did Auradon transform her? Of course they are implying that because of Rise of Red and her becoming the new principal, and even though this plot still kinda confuses me, it still seems like all the wants is for Auradon to be a fair place that doesn't discriminate against anyone.
I now this is getting too long, but I really like ranting about descendants. It's my comfort franchise but there's so many things wrong with it lol
And I also know I'm probably looking too deep into it, but I don't think I'm the only one who sees the ways Disney has always treated Uma and Mal differently.
I want to get this book and see if there's anything else about them. I really wished Disney and Descendants treated Uma better, though.
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pupmkincake2000 · 5 months
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So, after finishing Gale's origin, I think I'd play Astarion's. Don’t get me wrong, but it’s interesting for me to watch the romance with Gale from Astarion's POV, from the very beginning to the very end, because after reading some fics, I realized that I had never seen such a plot before. I mean falling in love with Gale right away, and not after all the events are over. That would be an amazing slowburn.
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What do I mean, you ask? I noticed that when people write about this couple, it often comes up like this: Astarion is usually in a relationship with Tav, but when he/she/they reject him (remember the opportunity to remain friends with him, right?), Gail, according to the plot, usually invites Astarion to settle down in his tower and feelings arise later. Even if they flirted with each other before.
And although such stories are well written and interesting to read, I can’t help but feel that there’s a certain… wrongness in such a relationship? I mean, Astarion gets everything right away without doing much, home, a handsome lover who takes care of him and will do anything for him, yet Astarion himself does nothing to get anything of these after the game ends.
People usually justify this by saying that he has already suffered enough and deserves all the best. And I agree that yes, he really deserves it. However, I believe that in this case he achieved nothing on his own. He saved the world, yes, he killd his master, yes, but still... it happens when he has his friends around who would support him and a lover who he seduces for this particular purpose.
Of course, by this point he may already be in a full-fledged relationship, but it all started with a specific goal, right? And don’t think I hate him, I don’t, as I don't blame him for anything, anyone in his place would do everything to get at least some protection and hope for something better. I don’t know if I can explain what I mean in a best way, but I'll try.
Astarion simply moves in stories from under the protection of one lover to another. And usually in such cases, Gale insists that Astarion doesn’t owe him anything… and here I also agree, but in this case the question is: what did Astarion himself do to deserve all of this? Past suffering, it seems to me, is not a sufficient reason to give him everything at once and it doesn't mean he has to suffer more or anything. That is, as soon as Tav breaks up with him (or he with Tav), Astarion falls in love with the one who turned out to be as kind, more generous, who never demands anything in return. And there is, it seems to me, something not quite right in this.
What am I getting at? I would like to see Astarion's story, from a POV of a person who undergoes development, not just getting everything the best as a reward for his suffering. For example, I would like to watch the story from his point of view, when he falls in love with Gale, and for the sake of this love he begins to change, fight his traumas, outgrow them, because he realizes that, perhaps, for the first time in his life, he has fallen so deeply in love.
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Without a relationship with Tav (I don’t like it at all when Tav is in the plot, they seem too unnecessary), but independently decided to change. And I want to say right away that by the word “change” I don’t mean anything bad, since he still changes when the player has a romance or friendship with him.
But for me, for example, it would be interesting to observe these changes, this growth, the struggle with traumas because of his love for Gale. Because there is someon who he cares about, not just about himself.
Let's be honest, Astarion is more a taker, Gale is a giver. Sometimes such relationships work but not always. Some people love to give, some people prefer to take. But I do not think it would work for them.
I see them as equals. Or at least are trying to be.
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And yes, it can be love from the first sight (why not?), or the relationship can begin quite like in canon: with manipulation and seduction (tho I've never seen a fic in which Astarion falls in love right away), but then the realization comes that this is not just a hook-up that means nothing, but a connection that means, and not just to get someone as an ally who would help kill Cassador (after all, you can kill him simply by being friends with Astarion).
Although love at first sight from Astarion's perspective would be quite interesting, since Gale does not seem at all like a person who is easily manipulated and seduced.
There is something incredibly attractive about experiencing the whole story of this love from beginning to end (and despite the slowdown, they can still sleep with each other), and only then, when the final battle is over, they can go to Gale’s home together , but not because Astarion has nowhere to go and he again risks being left alone, but because by that time he and Gale will already be in love and confess their feelings to each other (I think it will be even more interesting to watch from Astarion's POV), and therefore they will no longer imagine their life without each other.
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It will all look even tastier if it all happens long before the final battle, because Astarion will already have something to lose.
I want Astarion to try as hard on the relationship as Gale usually tries in fanfiction to heal his injuries. But I have almost never come across stories where they both worked on the relationship and healed each other equally. In most stories, unfortunately, Astarion gets much more, with almost no effort (we are not to talk about his past suffering), and this is just frustrating, as if he is not able to build his happiness on his own.
Someone may mention his traumas again and I understand perfectly well that not everyone can overcome their nightmares alone. But that’s why I mentioned that I would like to see how both work on relationships. In the game, Astarion is the one who takes, and Gale is more the one who gives (which I've already mentioned), but I would like to see equality, so that both give and take equally. And from Astarion's perspective, this would be incredibly interesting to watch, mainly precisely because he is the one who takes, he isn't used to give, but for his beloved, at least when he realizes he's in love, he would want to do more. To be more than just a taker.
You don't have to agree with me. But this is how I would like their relationship to be.
Oh, one more thing
I see Astarion as someone who tops, I do not mind switching, but top Astarion and bottom Gale sounds nice♡( ◡‿◡ )
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psychelis-new · 1 year
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pick a pile: "Your first hug/physical display of affection"
take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read about what may lead you and your person to share your first physical display of affection, and of what type it may be. romantic partner includes: current partner, future spouse/partner, destined person. it won't be a romantic partner for everyone probably, but we'll find out during the readings. thanks @treesletters for the suggestion!
don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.
(photos found on unsplash)
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pile 1
I think your first hug with your person may happen after you have been leaving some toxic mental pattern behind. You have been working on something, you've changed your ways in which you looked at life, you feel more positive about your future (and it could honestly also be cause of this person being in your life and supporting you, making you feel safe). This person brought a huge change in your life, they made you feel good about yourself and experience new emotions, a new way to look at relationships: they totally believe in you and appreciate you for who you are. And always remind you of your worth and that you need to be kind with yourself. They make you feel happy and in your power. They help you grow and support you while you are healing and working on yourself. Honestly it could even be you hugging them suddenly, cause they did something special for you (maybe gift you something on a special occasion): I see someone smiling happily and leaning onto this other person and hugging them in a very thankful and warm way (lot of sunlight here). It could even be that you both understand you've found someone special and you're glad the other is in your life. So, it's more of a friendly type of hug as for now, but it could also be the start for something else. For some, the hug may even have light shades of passion (or be the start for any of you feeling good about this connection and wondering if it can lead to something else. It may even make you wonder about the nature of your real feelings for this person: are they just a friend or something more?).
song: blood red | billy crabtree
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pile 2
This hug seems more like an hug after a romantic date or something. It may happen at night, before wishing each other good night. I feel someone taller being well dressed and leaning down onto the other person's head, in a very gentle, kind, loving way. I am also smelling something sweet (it could be their perfume). this hug will be kinda emotional too, both of you may be feeling cozy, at home with each other and hugging will feel natural even in the beginning of your relationship (like first dates/meetings). You both seem to appreciate each other minds and mentality, your point of views, the way you see things. You seem fascinated by each other. You may even be different (physically, background, nationality...), but these differences aren't something that scare you: they feel okay, they just add to each other's mystery and you both seem to feel intrigued. It seems your communication is amazing and you can talk behind these differences. It doesn't have to be that you don't agree with basically anything the otehr says, but it could. But again, it is not bad for any of you. You're kinda learning from each other and this is something important for the both of you. It kinda feels fate has brought you two together, so that you could share something between you. Power couple for some. You both gain another point of view from the other and this adds to your personal knowdlege and you find it awesome. So the hug will feel cozy because of this. You may even hug/touch often, as a sign of support and love (esp. side hugs). You like to let the other know you're there by their side through physical touches. i think you may even start being physical not too far into the dates cause of this strong attraction/bond you feel for/with the other.
song: infrunami | steve lacy
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pile 3
Honestly I cannot get much for this hug but it seems... It will be very sudden. You may be out with this person, and maybe a group of friends (of both or either of you) and you may end up to the arcade or any other place involving games you can play in teams or such. I see you two hugging as to celebrate your victory or any of you scoring a good point. Someone is literally sweeping the other off their feet. You may not realize it at first, as you're just thinking about your competition (honestly it could even be working -job/school- with this person and winning with your project or something like that) but right after, you may start feeling embarassed or even blushing... For some, your friends may start giving you weird looks (feels like they all know you two kinda share a connection or they feel your energies when you are together while you two don't or pretend not? Such a ff story!). Whatever the case, this hug will originate from a common win and let you realize the other's worth in your life, not just related to that game but in general... it will feel like after touching each other you will share infos and realize how much you care about the other, and how much you love them. Your more nurturing feelings will start pouring out, you will be more protective and welcoming towards the other, you'll see them with the eyes of love. You'll see how important they are. And you'll totally feel as you can count on them and work together again for something else, more romantic. It totally feels like this sudden hug will bring clarity and make things take a turn you may have never imagined. A sudden realization indeed.
song: just one day - short | deproducers
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pile 4
This hug feels fated. It will bring a change in either of your lives. It totally feels unexpected, as if you were just walking and suddenly stumble upon something but someone nearby saves you from falling on the ground. This could totally be unrelated ofc, but the feeling is the same. So I think this could actually be someone already in your life, that maybe you have hugged already but didn't really do it with a thought. Or it could be someone from your past coming back in a new form/as a new person. Watever it is, it'll feel like this person will be there for you in a moment you'll need them to be. You won't need to ask them to, they will just be there, they'll know you need them. This person can totally calm you down, balance your mind and emotions, and help you breathe. They can come in and calm you, balance you, with just a few words. They're the earth beneath your feet. Feels like divine counterpart for some. This hug may happen after an exam or a test, this person will be there waiting for you and hug you/caress your hair, to comfort you. They will make you feel like you have nothing to worry and things are gonna be good. They may be your lucky charm. For some of you, you are trying to manifest this person hugging you, being into you (maybe you two aren't in contact atm or aren't connecting as you'd like to: you probably would love to be in a relationship with them and find them attractive, but you barely talk with them or are just friends/acquaintances. Maybe they're older too?). Honestly it can happen, if you'll be able to fight for this to happen. For a few others, this person has still to come into your life, but this too feels kinda fated (actually you may see them/meet them more than once in the same situation/place and start exchanging few words/looks before something else happen, and you find again each other when you need support - where the hug happens).
song: the unwinding cable car | anberlin
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barcalover86 · 5 months
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End of beginning
A never-ending friendship
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Book
Chapter four
Your body suddenly can't move.
What the hell did you do last night?
Bia is still sleeping in bed with your new friends besides her, and you are the only one awake. You were trying to remember what happened after the game, but nothing was coming out of your mind.
You weren't that stupid to send him a n*de.. or were you?
But if that happened, someone would have stopped you. But on the other side, all of you were drunk and immature.
And if you really sent him a n*de of yourself , then it will be all over Internet. Just like the other photos of you two together.
You screwed up bad..
Finding the courage to open up his messages alone, not wanting to wake anyone up this early in the morning, you are even more shocked when you see his text.
Before you click on the photo he sent you, you read what he wrote you.
I am happy that you looked at the match, and I'm also sorry for the gossip that it's going around right now. I hope I didn't cause damage to your relationship.
Relationship? What relationship?
You were the one who thought that you made Gavi and his girlfriend break up. But he was thinking something completely untrue. You don't have a boyfriend and you never did.
Right now, you were trying to think who could be that boy he saw you with. But as you were trying to remember who he was, you suddenly realised that he also sent you a photo.
You opened your phone again, tapping to his account.
When you counted to three, you clicked on his photo, and your heart melted at his sight.
It was a selfie of him and Lewandowski, smiling at you. He also wrote on it that brought us good luck .
That? What that?
Now you begin to think again what picture could you have sent him to.
And if somehow it was a n*ude.. did he really show it to everyone else around him?
But you weren't the type of person to do that. Even when drunk. It just wasn't your personality.
So.. your photo brought him luck? You smiled a bit.
Oh, and then you realised that Gavi actually texted you. Well, you texted him first, but he replied.
And he was also having you at his following list. That's.. Nice. You smile once again.
"Bia, wake up!"
"Hm?"
"Gavi texted me!"
When everyone heard that, they all got up immediately.
"He did what?" asked Lucas.
"He texted me, look."
"Screenshot his photo," Bia said, and before you could stop her, Lucas already did a screenshot on your phone.
"What! No, now he's going to see it!!!!"
"And? It's better than not having the photo? I bet he made it by himself just for you."
You think about it. Maybe..
"Uhhh" you groaned, sitting on your bed. "Do I have to reply to him?"
"What's even with that question? Of course you have to!?"
"But what do I say?"
"Just, I don't know. Congrats on your win?" Liam says.
"But then he'll let her on seen." Laura interrupts. "It has to be something like, congrats to your win, you did amazing. How are you feeling after the game?"
"Of course he feels happy, they won?"
"Bia, I mean if he is tired or in good shape. Maybe he got injured, which I don't think so. He'll get the question, right, Lucas?"
He looks at her while thinking what to answer.
"Boys often misinterpret questions like that."
You nodded. "Then what do I say?"
"In my opinion, you should really add the congratulations part. It's important." Lucas says. "Boys like to feel important and appreciated.
"Ok, so first I'm saying congrats. After?"
Silence. Everyone is thinking.
"Should I go with something like I hope your training goes good today?"
"Ah, I don't know-"
"I got it!!!" Laura says. "Just reply to his photo with a photo and you can add there the text you want to say. He'll sure be curious on your photo."
"Yesss! That's it! But I have to be pretty. Everyone, help me!!"
They all helped you with a pretty outfit, your hair and makeup, and after about 1 hour, you were ready to take the picture.
Smiling widely, you sent a photo of you saying congratulations on your win, guys. you did amazing. visca barça.
Perfect. Now you wait.
..................................................................................
Today, waiting for his reply, you walked around Barcelona, chatting and laughing. You stopped near your friends' restaurant and started singing and dancing traditional Spanish songs until the L family was ready to close.
All the time you were looking at your phone, hoping for a text from Gavi who seemed like wouldn't come.
When you said your goodbyes, you and Bia went to drink something near your hotel. When you were talking about your future college, your phone buzzed, and you freezed.
"So??"
You look at her with a big smile.
"Gavi."
"I wanna see, I wanna see!"
Bia was whining just like a little kid, but you were also so excited to read his text.
Well, he sent you another photo.
He seemed like he was in a bedroom, assuming it was his, smiling into the camera and having his thumb up. He was adorable.
If you want more photos of me, tell me. You don't have to screenshot. Also, you didn't tell me about your boyfriend. Is he mad?
"He is definitely flirting with you!"
"I don't know.."
"Well he totally is. Reply to him."
You took a quick photo of you, with your orange juice on your hands, smiling sweetly.
I'm sorry about that. A friend of mine screenshoted it accidentally. And about my relationship, I don't know where that came from. I'm single.
After 5 minutes, he replied.
"Wow, y/n. He is quick. I told you he is into you!"
Now, it was a photo with half of his face saying my bad, sorry. so are you still asking for pictures?
You did a similar picture as he did last time, and wrote first of all, I didn't ask for any pictures, second of all wouldn't your girlfriend be upset that you are talking with me?
"Are you sure you want to send that?" Bia asked you.
"Well even if he is Pablo Gavi, if he has a girl at home, he has to right not talk to other girls."
After about 20 minutes, he replied.
The photo was again with half of his face saying that are u jealous, y/n?
You blushed hard.
"Ooooo, he is flirting with youu."
"Shut up, he is typing.:
"Let's get home. We can't stay here for another hour. We also have to look for colleges."
You nodded and while you were walking back to your hotel, you were looking intensely at your phone.
Right when he was about to send his text, your mom was calling you.
You groaned hard while Bia was laughing.
"Yes?"
"Hi, sweetheart. How are you?"
"Mama, I'm kinda busy. I'll call you later, ok?"
"Did something happen? Are you ok?"
"Yes, don't worry. We are heading to our hotel. I'll call you there, ok? Bye."
"Bye, don't forget to!"
After ending the call, you go to see what Gavi said.
You blushed even harder.
"Whatt???? I wanna see too."
Yes, I am a footballer, but I don't cheat. I don't have a girlfriend and I didn't have one recently either. I think you know a lot about me, but I just know your name. Wanna meet me tomorrow at 13 after my training to show you the museum from Camp Nou? I promise I won't steal you. Bring a friend if you want. I'll bring Fermin too.
"Say yes, say yes, say yes!"
"I don't know, Bia. I feel like it's happening too fast."
"It's the right time, trust me. When fo you want him to ask you out. A day before we return home? Say yes!"
You slowly nodded, accepting his offer." You'll come with me."
"You didn't have to ask." she says super excited.
See you then.
You replied.
He liked your message.
"Today we have to go shopping. We need new chlotes."
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sashi-ya · 8 months
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𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟑 DAY 7: STEPCEST Urahara Kisuke 𝘹 𝘍! 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
Requested by: Anon ➡ For your event fem reader, stepcest with Urahara Kisuke tw: mdni. STEPcest, there are no blood ties. please, if you don't like, don't read. thigh fucking. vag unprotected sex. usage of sister and brother during the act. 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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It’s bad. you can’t keep dreaming of him. With him. Of the things you want him to do to you.
“He is my brother” you repeat, knowing very well that he really isn’t. But to the rest of the world, he is like it. To you, even. And every night, since he moved back home, you’ve been dealing with your unacceptable needs…
Kisuke needed to come back home, he had had a serious fight with Yoruichi, and she had enough of him. In fact, you took her side, but you couldn’t let him sleep on a hotel. He can sometimes be… annoying, and a bad boyfriend. But he is not a bad person; Kisuke loses track of time when working at the lab and puts almost everything into one investigation…
Your throat feels dry. Your body sweated. It’s a hot night, summer should have left the town, but it seems to be reluctant to do so. With a silky white sleep gown, you go downstairs for a cup of water. However, you knew too well the thirst wouldn’t be satisfied this way.
Everything seems silent, Kisuke should be sleeping in the couch -or that’s what it seems to you –. But it turned it was just the sheets he never tents.
You hurry up, chugging the glass of cold water to cool your heat quickly. Yet, the moon outside catches your attention and you begin to day dream of those times where both of you were younger and met for the first time…
His father and your mother had married, and both being almost adults didn’t find it too terrible. As college represented a higher worry in your lives you simply accepted the new assembled family, discovering a high connection in between you and him. Kisuke soon left home for uni and some years after he started working at a laboratory he is now closer to preside.
And all throughout those years, and from the very first time you saw his face, you accepted loving him was off limits, even if your heart ached for him…
You sighed, with blurred eyes fixed on the argentum shine of the moon outside the window. But a pair of hands suddenly surrounded your waist from behind.
“Wha-?” you asked, scared. “Daydreaming? You look sad, (Name)-san… what happened?” Kisuke asks, resting his chin on your shoulder. His messy blonde hair grazing your cheek and neck, his sweet perfume reaching you, the warmth of his embrace feeling so holy and so terrible at the same time.
You take some seconds to answer. Growing up, Kisuke has always been very physically close to you and your family members. You couldn’t say it was just because he enjoyed touching you. You couldn’t simply push him away.
“I am ok, I was just remembering old times. That’s it. You should go back to sleep… or go to sleep for once. I know you are investigating something important, but your health should matter a little bit more, Kisuke” you scold him, as you’ve always done.
“Aaaa~ah… my older sister will always do this, huh? Not even the years that have passed changed you, huh?” he jokes, hugging you so tight, pulling you so close to his body that your breathing cuts short.
Your eyes open wide, when you can clearly feel the whole entirety of his flesh against yours. From his chest on your back, to his hipbones on the small of your back.
“Wh- stop it, for real. Go to sleep. I am tired too…” you stutter; the trembling in your voice can’t be hide, the anxiety rising inside you either.
“You are clearly sad, let’s go” he chimes, turning you around and lifting you up in his arms. He is quite tall and despite not having a huge frame, he is very strong. And no matter how much you could kick and hit his back with your fists, he isn’t letting you go. Instead, Kisuke laughs happily.
When he gets to your room, he throws you on the bed. Your heart pumps faster, and you can only repeat for yourself  “he is playing, he is your brother”.
“Make some space, I won’t go away until either you tell me what is going on or you fall asleep” he says, snuggling right by your side.
You are still unable to speak and can barely blink. You fix your gaze on the ceiling of your room; a soft blueish light kisses the walls and your skins. Kisuke hugs you, and your senses intensify. The sound of your breathing, the sound of his reverberates in your mind. Your heart pumps more and more blood and all of it seems to be going to one place only; your core.
He hugs you closer, turning you to side so that your nose ends up being inches from his chest. Kisuke is someone who finds trouble with keeping basic hygiene, but tonight his skin smells deliciously tempting.
You feel your head spinning, like your soul is about to leave your body. This is not ok. This is wrong. This is bad. He is your brother… he is not.
“Kisuke… can you go sleep in the couch?” you ask, painfully. The tone in your voice holds the aching need of a beast inside you. Your hands are sweaty, you are drowning in guilt but also in lust… if you move a single muscle more, it will be to kiss him.
“Why- I even bathe. Why I can’t sleep with my older sister??” he asks, and it seems to you that he knows exactly what he is doing. Urahara Kisuke is a genius, he probably knows… in fact, he always has.
“STOP CALLING ME OLDER SISTER. I AM NOT YOUR SISTER!” You snap, pushing him away and turning around. It’s either mistreating him or ruining your family. But when did Kisuke ever cared about morals?
He comes closer, this time spooning you. His hands so shamefully passing around your waist and landing down your belly button. The warmth of his breathe reaches your nape, while his nose buries in between your hair.
“You are my sister… and I don’t care…” the scientist whispers, torturing you with his lips lingering over your skin.
It all turns bumpy, and your muscles stiffen. You need him, you want him. Your body succumbs to the most depraved lust ever existing. Your back arches just enough for your buttocks to graze his now growing hardness.
“Kisuke… don’t do this” you beg, as his hands slide down your waist towards your hips. He pulls you against his crotch, this time with no absolute delicacy, to make sure you feel he is as horny as you are.
His hardness feels sinfully exquisite, and you can’t stop yourself from moving your ass from side to side; you want him desperate, so fucking needy. You want him to be even able to feel the wetness pulling in between your legs and perhaps even dampening your inner thighs.
And oh, he notices immediately after his pants are down. Enough of the smooth player, he can’t wait to taste you no more.
Your thighs receive his warm sex right in between them, closer to your now dripping panties but not enough to touch your labia. You squeeze your legs to trap him, as his hands now free your breasts from above your night gown. Kisuke’s fingers feel wonderfully pinching your nipples.
“Should I continue, my sweet sister ~?” he asks, rejoicing in the word sister because it is as sick and depraved, and it is also turning you on more than what you could ever expect.
Oh, the guilt, what a big kink.
“Fuck me… brother” “With great pleasure”
Kisuke immediately turns you around, topping you with no shame. His hand landing on your cheek, his lips approaching yours. Crossing any line ever traced, two mouths crashing in total concupiscence; two tongues dancing in pure sin.
Your step brother pulls your panties down, as both kiss with total passion. His fingers quickly reach for your wet flower, it even surprises that you are dripping so much.
“You are so incredible wet, how needy are you?” he asks, in between lip bites. “I need you inside of me, now. Now, please” you moan, leaving any reason behind, allowing your desires to take full control of your consciousness.
Kisuke doesn’t really need to finger you nor prepare your entrance, your walls are desperately hungry to feel stretch by him. He smirks, the strings of his precum that were forming on his tip and pooling on your belly button are the sweet show of how much he needs you too.
The blonde guides his hardness to your entrance, he doesn’t even need to move further as it slides so perfectly inside. He stays, for some seconds, right by your entrance making you curl your back and turn your eyes white from pleasure. He knows, he perfectly understands how your body works and how to make you pull from the bedsheets.
And right before he goes deep, with a ram than feels like breaking you in half, your eyes fix into each other’s.
His hips begin to move, but your eyes couldn’t. There was a feeling of deep connection and also intense regret in them. But most importantly, and despite all guilt, both felt like there wasn’t a safest place than each other’s embrace.
Kisuke goes deep as much as you buck up your hips, joining your cores almost inevitably willing to melt into one. He lets himself fall on top of you, while you hug his waist to keep him trapped inside of you. Kissing desperately, breathing moaning, drinking the other’s grunts and little “nhngs” and “fucks”.
Climax coming. Climax taking over. His flesh slapping yours, both sweating but never letting go. Your nails leaving the trace of their path engraved in his pale back.
Kisuke believes is not enough deepness and pulls you up to finally sit on his lap still penetrating you. Your legs around his waist, his nesting you around. His hands pressing on the small of your back and yours on his nape.
Explosively finishing in heaven, two sinful souls that have just condemned themselves to the infinite void of hell…  
“I wanted you since the day I met you” ; “I wanted you too… but this is wrong…” “Wrong would be not doing it, sister ~”
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taglist: @miabiaria @carmenthedreamer @stygianoir @electronicwitchcollection @aizenwifey @deputy-videogamer @efrodd17 @mizugami @uzxotic @cyberdazetragedy @bookandyarndragon 💖
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adambja · 9 months
Text
You asked for my void success story? And my void journey? well I am sharing it bestie!!
But again I won't share any personal stuff some people here are obsessive pls lmao
I typed it when I was on the discord server because someone who is in my experiment asked me so I answered and I asked myself like why not sharing it here after all that time and all these things I am doing (coaching - the experiment - more....) and I am so excited to share the results of my experiment after exactly 6 days and actually 2 people joined the experiment but they were late!
So.....
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• let's begin with my void journey!
Okay basically I am sure no one actually knows this except for like 3 people on Tumblr and like 20 people in my experiment (cuz they asked me) my life before entering was actually great I already had everything I wanted my mom and dad are literally my role models and my self-concept was perfect and I am not saying it as an affirmation it's just me and I was always finding something from time to time related to the void state and I worked more on my self-concept using my tape I made it in early - mid 2022 (actually the same tape I sell now) then I started collecting information about the void from literally everywhere back in late 2022 then I started applying in early 2023 I entered in January but didn't really plan to manifest anything because I had the same manifesting abilities in my daily life then I thought about it more than once so I made a list full of everything I can think of at that time and I entered in early 2023 again
• How I entered?
It was just normal i was in the USA specifically NY at that time I was listening to my self-concept tape it was almost 10pm and I felt like I will actually enter today and manifest everything I wasn't even planning to do it but I knew I will experience it's just a feeling I felt at that time and I was feeling a lot of love at that time too so I meditated I didn't affirm I didn't do anything it was fully my subconscious mind but it wasn't that deep to me it was normal EVEN THO IT WAS NORMAL all these days when I entered affirmed the affirmation that's connected to my void list then got out and found everything that was on my void list in my apartment IT WAS SO SURPRISING TO ME but I didn't get overwhelmed nor confused! It was a great surprise!
Also the time it was like 2am when I got out of my void state as I remember and I was sitting at the same place for almost 15 mins just realizing what happened with me and why my head feels like this it was a weird feeling I still can't find a name to it or a word that explains it! i thought about the word "dizzy" BUT it's not just dizzy and it's not really dizzy - it's just a different feeling!
• What was my void state like?
I will say everything that's on my mind
The first time I entered it was pitch black
Then I typed on my void list that it's full of stars it's like outer space because I chose it to be like that (you can choose how your void state looks like too)
It looked exactly like this and everytime I wake up there since that day because I didn't change it! 🫶🏻
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Entering was so intense not emotionally but physically even tho I didn't feel my body 😭 it was as if my soul is getting out of my body it was so unexplainable and special to me my body was tired after it and I was feeling too much in my head after getting out and back to my physical body I don't have words for what I experienced the first time and the second time 😭 but now I have no symptoms because it was so annoying so I manifested it away when I woke up in my void state the second day (this was on my void list tho like waking up in my void state everyday and being in my void state everytime I take a nap) - that feeling in my head was so bad like as if I was so high and can't even focus for 15 mins non-stop! That's why I manifested not experiencing any symptoms at all.
• What did you manifest?
I manifested a lot of things I wanted but tbh having these things wasn't that far from me like I already could do it without entering my void state at all and I won't be specific about what I manifested cause they are a bit personal but they were friendships/relationships + businesses + apartments/homes + money/more investments..... and way more
Also I already had many investments before I entered my void state hope this clears everything too
cause many people were asking me about how do I have tips for entering without sharing my story the tips are here tho they are very helpful - it was because I don't like these people who come to your DMs and ask you to help them once and twice and 3 times with their trauma dump message or ask pls like no it was just too much for me when I posted once that I entered then deleted it but here we are again if it happens just don't blame me I will just block people.....
• About the experiment's results
I am not sure if I should post it day by day?
So I am gonna make a poll and see what y'all think!
Also.....
• POWERFUL AFFIRMATION TAPES
(self-concept - void state - shifting - subconscious mind....more) (personalized and unpersonalized) • (discounts for students and specific clients depending on their problems and their situations i am dealing with) - message me
• FOR COACHING
(self-concept - void state - shifting....more) • (discounts for students and specific clients depending on their problems and their situations i am dealing with) - message me
And now that's it! 💋💋
Have a good day/night cuties🫶🏻!
@voidsuccessarchive
@voidarchivefiles
@voidsuccess
@voidbaby111
That's the post! 💋
You can send me a message too if you wanna suggest any idea for a post or something specific I will give you credits if you want credits + If you have any questions related to my void journey or self-concept even coaching you can ask me babes 💋🫶🏻
I would really be thankful because gurl I am so busy with (my life, coaching, the experiment and more...) rn I can't even keep up with posting here so I scheduled this post lmao thanks to Tumblr for adding this feature for real!
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notmorbid · 4 months
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happiness falls.
dialogue prompts from happiness falls by angie kim.
there's a fine line, if any, between optimism and willful idiocy.
why would you assume things can't go wrong just because they haven't yet?
hanging up an iphone isn't nearly as satisfying as slamming down a landline.
hope is dangerous.
intuition trumps intellect every time.
it isn't like i was keeping it a secret.
i'm working on seeming less bossy.
you are too old for this juvenile bullshit.
bring a first aid kit, just in case.
i never read the articles, only the cartoons.
i know what you're thinking. i'm thinking it, too.
i won't tell you not to worry, but take care of yourself.
sometimes it's the tiniest difference that can make the most difference.
are you a spy?
my life just isn't that interesting.
no shutting me out and trying to do everything yourself.
i have no idea what you're thinking, but i'm thinking i need coffee asap.
'greetings'? who in hell says 'greetings'?
i'll never scare you like that again.
don't force me to ask.
i wanted to just fucking die.
i feel badly about how we left things.
i thought we were open with each other.
shame is the most powerful and long-lasting emotion we have.
the best defense is a good offense.
stop talking. don't make it worse.
it's easy to be generous when you've taken so much.
i can't fall apart. someone has to get shit done.
i care more about authenticity and honesty than tact.
i didn't realize you still did that.
sometimes, in moments of great stress, we revert to childhood behaviors.
i love your sarcasm when it isn't pointed at me.
thinking and planning are luxuries we can't afford.
'no withholding anything from anyone'. that's my new mantra.
you have to save the highest penalty sin for last. build up slowly.
slow down. start from the beginning. what happened?
i don't care if i never find out what happened.
have you ever noticed how different things sound out loud instead of inside your head?
you can be honest without being cruel.
what are you hiding? i can see it behind you. what is it?
when you can't talk, people assume you can't understand.
i am a different person in english.
can you blame me?
sometimes semantics matter. words matter.
i'd rather give you the benefit of the doubt.
i would be horrible at your job.
you know a lot more than anyone's given you credit for.
a fucking break is what i want.
it did not feel 'rare', living through it.
everyone thought they were next.
there are some things you can't say out loud.
i'm glad we tried.
anger feels so much better than grief.
i don't like remembering it.
it's okay if the answer is no.
god, we're a mess.
this isn't a movie. this is real life.
if this was a 'choose your own adventure' book, what would you hope for?
when did you wake up?
there's no harm in hoping.
how long will i feel this way?
the first try is always the hardest, right?
the world should have to accommodate you, for once.
you can squeeze my hand when it hurts too much.
stop playing games and say what you mean.
you've been doubted long enough.
you doubted me, didn't you? just a little.
i don't want to forget. i want to remember.
i still have good days and bad.
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aleksanderscult · 4 months
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My unpopular opinion for today? The Darkling was terrible at manipulating people
And that mostly comes from the author's incompetence on the matter.
Back in 2016-2017 on Tumblr she was asked which SoC character finds difficult to write and she replied "Kaz. Because he's clever and cunning".
So for her, writing manipulative characters is difficult and actually explains the reason why the Darkling's "efforts" seemed comedic in S&B.
I still remember how posts from 2020-2021 expressed bafflement about where did the Darkling actually manipulated Alina in S&B.
His first, full conversation with her? He lied to her three times and tried to figure her out. What her views are, what does she know about him, has her judgement been clouded by other people's opinions of him, how she feels about her supposed destiny. Apparently she failed in each one of them and the Darkling decided to withhold information since he didn't find her trustworthy. It was too early and she was too immature.
I've written about this scene here but I MUST put this reblog here as well because it's ✨gold✨
Tumblr media
So for anyone who believes he should tell her the truth from the very beginning uhh....have you ever been to a job with a hierarchy?
(You can also read a very good meta about their first conversation here from @theweeklydiscourse)
His additional conversations with her? They lasted only ten minutes (maximum) and he mostly tried to soothe her fears and assure her that since she'll have the Stag she won't have to worry about the strength of her power. So, me, the reader, am I supposed to think "That walk that he took with her and lasted for five minutes was so suspicious"?. Ahh...ok.
That first kiss? Boy wasn't it awkward.
It was like I watched two high school kids being kissed for the first time💀
I'm sorry but if that was manipulating then he didn't succeed at making the reader say "Now that seems shady" but wonder "What the fuck was that?". The same thing Alina wondered apparently.
If he wanted to manipulate Alina, why didn't he stay longer with her? Why didn't he spend more time with her? The guy was missing for days from the Little Palace doing his duties and even Alina said that she didn't see him much. So where was the manipulation?
To the first, awkward kiss where he lost control for the first time?
To their Winter fete make out where he almost lost his pants?
(Homeboy couldn't even control his own feelings apparently)
Leigh describes him as "manipulative" but we have no context.
So basically it's like "Source? Trust me bro".
We only have a couple of characters accuse him of manipulation but no scenes to base the argument.
His attempts, in comparison to other truly manipulating characters in fiction (like Varys, Tom Riddle, Petyr Baelish, Tyrion Lannister, the Joker), seem honestly pathetic.
When the author doesn't know how to write such things then her "manipulative" characters and their attempts seem cartoonish, cringe and childish. There's no real danger to make the reader feel like there's something wrong. His scenes with her in the Little Palace only included attempts from his part to calm down her worries and their kisses only made the reader say "Oh he fell for her!" (Which is kind of funny because this is exactly what happened).
The only instance where he was manipulative and good at it was at the orphanage scene where he lied about the Grisha children and his plans with them in order to draw Alina out.
Besides that? Nada.
And it's actually strange to me when people call him "so manipulating" and it makes me think "Have you truly not read other manipulative characters from other authors to compare?"
Because, personally, I have and the Darkling seems like an idiot in comparison.
And this is not me trying to water down the Darkling but say how Leigh Bardugo is so incompetent in writing manipulative characters and try to present him as a "master" of it.
Because he was not.
(P.S. the fact that Leigh once said "I don't want my bad guys to carry a label saying "I'm evil" because I think the real bad guys are much more tactful in their attempts" is actually laughable considering how she gave her bad guy a label when she called him "the Darkling", gave him black clothes and a fearful reputation from the very first chapter. That man really didn't stand a chance from the beginning lmao)
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