#and ACORN is a real thing?

[shirks-all-responsibilities]

Just devoured your Tim Rockford oneshots collection (what you did to that screencap in that masterlist header?? It looks like a novel cover??? Always in awe of your graphics/editing skills) and I am swooooning over his relationship with reader, I can't get enough of giving the most mature Pedro boy a partner/love interest that matches his intellect and shares his general career field/interests, obsessssed!

"When you looked back at him, once the shirt was up and over your head, he was adjusting himself where he was sitting up against the headboard of the bed, his glasses now folded on top of the book he had been reading when you’d entered the room."

I was lost in a reverie after reading this line...imagining Tim propped against the headboard reading a book with READING GLASSES perched on that chiseled nose?? How he would fold and put them on top of the book with such competent delicacy?? Protecting the glass?? What kind of frames they would be?? Delicate wires?? Thicc frames that accent his bone structure????? How he would look gazing at you over them?? Halppp.....

How Tim keeps "adjusting" 😏 his position on the bed, how he has so much patient self-control, observing and waiting, engaging her in conversation and her interest...her gentle tease, the domesticity and comfy sexy vibes I am just yearninggggggg...

oct' 21 x acorns

Prompt: acorns Pairing: tim rockford x f!reader Word Count: 724 Warnings: T+ mentions of crimes & a touch of spice. Summary: pretty proud of this one and it's use of the prompt 😋 tim knows the way to your heart is discussing the latest research for your podcast.

x. masterlist

“Acorns? You moving into squirrel crimes now sweetheart?”

“Ha ha,” you responded dryly,  “ACORNS, the Australian Cybercrime Online Reporting Network.” He raised an eyebrow in interest, you weren’t sure if this was the result of learning what the acronym was for or if it had something to do with you starting the process of peeling off your t-shirt.

When you looked back at him, once the shirt was up and over your head, he was adjusting himself where he was sitting up against the headboard of the bed, his glasses now folded on top of the book he had been reading when you’d entered the room.

“So,” he began, a soft smile playing at his lips as he crossed his arms at his bare chest, “what’s caught your eye?” he asked.

You smiled back at him, a genuine one - he knew the way to your heart, true crime.

“So,” you started, turning to the dresser as you unhooked your bra, “so they were seeing an increase in reports on ACORNS, right? You've got your standard mix of fraud, identity theft, all the usual cybercrime stuff. Nothing to write home about right?”

“But?” Tim pressed, playing along.

“But what got me curious was a pattern of crimes that looked like random, disconnected incidents targeting average people. We're talking about everything from a cafe owner in Sydney to a retired nurse in Perth. And this has been going on for years.”

"Years?" Tim echoed, intrigued. "And they're just noticing this now?"

“Exactly!” you replied enthusiastically, tossing your bra into the laundry hamper and reaching into the dresser for one of Tim’s oversized shirts, what he wore when he actually had more than five minutes at home between cases. “The reports have only now been made public, and by the looks of it it’s taken them this long to even realize something might be off, and because it’s public knowledge, it’s caught the attention of the armchair detectives who are digging in, but no one can find a connection.”

Tim shifted in his seat again, tapping his fingers against his chest thoughtfully. “Not entirely strange though,” he said. “Cyber crimes are still relatively new. Many countries are sitting on data that they just don’t know what to do with besides selling it. Though, with any crime, patterns usually emerge sooner or later, someone slips up. Have they found anything that could point to a single culprit or group?”

“Nothing. Zilch. That's why it's so bizarre,” you said, shimming out of your jeans and kicking them off before walking over to sit beside him on the bed. “But here's where it gets interesting. When you compare these Australian cases to similar crimes reported in neighbouring countries like New Zealand or Indonesia, little patterns start to stand out.”

Tim raised an eyebrow, his attention fully piqued. “What kind of patterns are we talking about?”

You grinned, thrilled by his obvious interest. “Teeny tiny little anomalies,” you took his glasses and book and placed them on your bedside table, “Specific coding sequences, certain times of the day when the attacks occur, even certain types of targets that are more frequently hit in both regions. Individually, these little things don't really mean much. But when you start looking at them collectively and across borders, it’s like a constellation. You begin to see the outline of something much bigger.”

“Sounds like someone's running a long con,” Tim observed.

He uncrossed his arms as you swung your leg over to straddle his hips, your arms wrapping around his neck to rest on his broad shoulders.

“That's what I'm thinking too,” you said, your voice low as you leaned in to place a kiss on his lips.

Tim's hands slid up your sides, his fingers grazing the bare skin of your back under the t-shirt, “You really shouldn't have bothered.” he said, his voice low and husky.

You leaned in closer, your breath hot against his ear, “Bothered with what?” you whispered feigning cluelessness, trailing kisses down his neck.

“The shirt,” Tim replied, tilting his head back to grant you better access. “You're much better without it.”

You laughed softly, the sound sending shivers down his spine. “I needed something to wear.”

“Who said you needed to wear anything at all?” Tim countered, flipping you both over so he was on top of you.

[weaverofink]

Reading the archie sonic comics is such an Experience bc I'm always somewhere between "wow sally is such a cool character" and "girl you've GOT to put a shirt on"

[passengerpigeons]

0/2 on quality produce this week - buttercup squash had distinct cucumber scent and flavor uncharacteristic of similar varieties and salmon had off scent & flavor even after cooking

[plaguedocboi]

Ok y’all brace yourselves cuz I just learned about a new animal

Yes, that is an animal. Yes, scientists refer to it as the purple sock worm. No, that’s not it’s real name, silly, it’s real name is Xenoturbella!

When these deep-sea socks were first discovered, no one knew what the fuck they were looking at (and, really, can you blame them?). They have no eyes, brains, or digestive tracts. They are literally just a bag of wet slop. DNA analysis initially seemed to indicate that they were related to mollusks, until the scientists realized that DNA sample was from the clams they had recently eaten (yes, they can eat with no organs. We don’t know how.)

Scientists then analyzed the data again and tentatively placed them in the group that includes acorn worms, saying that their ancestors probably had eyes, brains, and organs, but simplified as a response to their deep sea ecosystems.

Later DNA testing has since shown that they are their own thing! Xenoturbella, along with another simple and problematic to place creature called acoelomorphs, belong to their own phylum called Xenacelomorpha! This places them as the sister group to all bilateral animals. So, they just never evolved brains, eyes, or organs. They are a glimpse at a very primitive form of animal that never bothered to change, because apparently what they do works. Rock on, purple sock worm.

[necessiteez]

HONGJOONG SMUT FIC RECS LIBRARY

disclaimer: I do not own any of these works and they do not represent the real kim hongjoong. all rights belong to the respective writers who made them.

all pairings are hongjoong x reader only.

further info is already stated in the main Library.

✶ - favorites

╔═ second♕floor ═╗

「 ✦ Pirate!Hongjoong ✦ 」

✶ Let Me Take You Away - @ithinkilikeit-reactions (wc 3.7k)

✶ Pirate King: Kim Hongjoong - @cookycherry (wc 4.5k)

Sea Superstitions - ithikilikeit-reactions (wc 8 .8k)

My Lady - @seongsangssbitch

Lost at Sea - @acupoftaewithsomesuga (wc 6.9k)

Pirate Joong - @hyetiny

Pirate King - @cybrsan (wc 7.6k)

A Selfish Desire - @hwashotcheeto (wc 4k)

🆕✨ Shiny New Toy - kitten4sannie (wc 2.1k)

「 ✦ Best Friend!Hongjoong ✦ 」

friends to lovers trope

✶ Tell Me to Stop - @tenelkadjowrites (wc 4.4k)

Acorns - sa_honey on ao3 (wc 4.3k)

Marigold - @yoongiseesawmp3 (wc 12k)

✶ The Best Friends Code trilogy feat. Seonghwa - tenelkadjowrites

Heavy on Your Tongue - @swallowedbymadness (wc 4k)

We Ransacked the City series, multi-chapter feat. Seonghwa - tenelkadjowrites

🆕✨ Between Friends - anyamaris (wc 3.4k)

「 ✦ Academic!Hongjoong ✦ 」

includes College Student! Hongjoong, Professor! Hongjoong, school setting

Fire & Flames - bustdownyunho on ao3 (wc 5.8k)

✶ Motivate Me - @hwaightme (wc 10.2k)

Hideaway - @minisugakoobies (wc 7k)

Teacher Seonghwa + Student Hongjoong male reader - @star-suh

Study Buddies - halflinghoney on a03 (wc 2.4k)

✶ Can't Stand You - @domjaehyun (wc 3.7k)

✶ Training Wheels - @luvt0kki (wc 10.7k)

Rule #4 - @k-hotchoisan (wc 6k)

King's Play - @atzfilm (wc 4k)

A Special Kind of Heat Delivery - artof-seonghwa (wc 2.4k)

「 ✦ Idol!Hongjoong ✦ 」

✶ Good Girls Don't ONGOING - halanote on ao3 (wc 22k)

Work Life Balance - evphoria87 (wc 1.6k)

Drunk in Love - barnesbabee

✶ All Yours - forhongjoong (wc 4k) HAS GOT TO BE THE OLDEST WELL-WRITTEN SMUT I KNOW SO THIS ONE IS SPECIAL

In the Wings feat. Seonghwa - sanjoongie (wc 2k)

A Night In implied poly - @written-in-flowers (wc 3k)

✶ 2 Soon part 1 - @03jyh23 (wc 12.8k)

✶ 2 Soon part 2 - 03jyh23 (wc 11.5k)

✶ Man-Spreading - barnesbabee

🆕✨ Bouncy - flurrys-creativity (wc 1.8k)

🆕✨ [11:07] Secrecy - hanatiny (wc 1k)

「 ✦ Roommate!Hongjoong ✦ 」

✶ Movie Night - @severetimetravelnerd (wc 2k)

✶ Deal - @hongism (wc 10.3k)

Declaration - tenelkadjowrites (wc 9k)

✶ Don't You Want Me? - @yeonjuns-beanie (wc 7.4k)

Ass So Fat, Hit that From the Back gen reader, only Hongjoong is turned on - orphan account/abandoned (wc 2.9k)

Exhibition and Voyeurism feat. Seonghwa - hobi-is-golden on ao3 (wc 3.6k)

🆕✨✶ Got a Thing for You - ilwonuu

「 ✦ Mafia/Gangster!Hongjoong ✦ 」

All I Need - @cocobeanncteez

Princess feat. San- @teeztheflag (wc 4.6k)

For Your Entertainment - @atiny-piratequeen (wc 4.3k)

5:31pm - @mingishoe

✶ A Rose is A Rose feat. Seonghwa - @daddyfordaeddy (wc 3.5k)

Guns and Roses - @baekhvuns (wc 5.4k)

✶ Cheating w Gangster!Seongjoong feat. Seonghwa - @thelargefrye (wc 2.6k)

✶ On the Rocks feat. Seonghwa- @kitten4sannie (wc 2.7k)

Backfired part 2 - ateezreactionsandscenarios (wc 5k)

🆕✨ Unbroken - hanatiny (wc 7k)

「 ✦ Hongjoong Working Different Jobs ✦ 」

includes photographer!Hongjoong, barista!Hongjoong, writer!Hongjoong, doctor!Hongjoong

* photographer!Hongjoong

Picture Perfect - @ikigaitsuki (wc 6k)

Something to Say - themoonlightfae on ao3 (wc 5.9k)

His Muse - firepoppyqueen on ao3 (wc 1.4k)

* writer!Hongjoong

✶ Mr. Write series, multi-chapter, writer!Hongjoong - @1117feverlessdreams

* cafe owner/barista Hongjoong

Iced Coffee barista!Hongjoong- xoexoxhoe

FFF Day 14 feat. San - sanjoongie (wc 2.6k)

「 ✦ Hongjoong in fantasy/historical/mythical setting ✦ 」

Rendezvous with Destiny royal advisor!Hongjoong - alxdelusional (wc 6k)

Do You Believe in Fate? Hongjoong with magic, multi-chapter - @lettersfromaphrodite (wc 42k)

Starseed: Perfect Love male reader, King!Hongjoong - thelargefrye (wc 3.7k)

His Majesty's Responsibilities King!Hongjoong - @xirenex (wc 8k)

✶ Forbidden Fruit Hades!Hongjoong - nateezfics (wc 2k)

Day 19 Bard!Hongjoong feat. Knight!Seonghwa- @multiwreckedmess (wc 6.3k)

The Spoils of War, Chapter 2: Hongjoong the Queenmaker multi-member, King!Hongjoong - fullspectrumfangirl, stitchdragon on ao3

Die for You royal guard!Hongjoong - @beginningofwonderland (wc 7.4k)

I'd Rather Burn nobleman!Hongjoong - latte-fairytaekwoon (wc 6.2k)

✨🆕 ✶ New World mad prince!Hongjoong, HEAVY ANGST - @sorryimananti-romantic (wc 27k)

「 ✦ Hongjoong in the Fashion Industry ✦ 」

includes Fashion Designer! Hongjoong, Model! Hongjoong, Fashion Company CEO! Hongjoong

✶ The Met and the Aftermath - @angiesmagicspace (wc 5.7k)

✶ Perfect Little Pet Cruella! Hongjoong @armysantiny (wc 5.9k)

✶ Business Attire - @nebulousbrainsoup (wc 4.5k)

Perfect Design - @sector-i-closed

Be My Muse - sanjoongie (wc 1.2k)

Untitled - @cherrysoojins

The Model - @doritochoi (wc 1.7k)

✶ High End - @songmingisthighs (wc 2k)

Mistletoe feat. Seonghwa - justthere4kpop (wc 2.4k)

「 ✦ Something's Wrong with Hongjoong ✦ 」

includes Villain!Hongjoong, Evil!Hongjoong, Perv!Hongjoong, Yandere! Hongjoong and dubcon themes. ⚠️ I don't support non-con fanfics

An Eye For All Things Sweet - @sugarcherriess

Textbook perv!Hongjoong - @ateezinmymind

Crimes of Passion: Gotham au Intro - @thetypingpup (wc 5.4k)

* Yandere

Desire - @lovesanmotion

Indulgence - @mint-yooxgi (wc 2k)

The Villain part 1 - @yourfatherlucifer (wc 1k)

The Villain part 2 - yourfatherlucifer (wc 1k)

˖ ࣪⭑last updated 06/05/24 ˖ ࣪⭑

[charmedimsure]

Warmth || kang dae-ho

pairing: Kang Dae-ho x f!reader

summary: Dae-ho drags you outside to enjoy the snow

word count: 1.5k

warnings: just fluff :)

A/N: i put up a post saying i needed requests and then instantly thought of this and wrote it in like 3 hours. i got some good requests though so those will be out at some point. if you find any mistakes no you didn't <3

You groan as your doorbell is rung again. Wrapping your warm blanket around yourself, you trudge over to the door, pulling it open to glare at whoever is disturbing your lazy day.

You're met with the face of your friend Dae-ho, the usual bright smile lighting up his face. He's all bundled up in a heavy coat and scarf, a warm hat covering his head. It would've warmed your heart had you not been hoping to avoid contact of any type with the entirety of humankind today.

"Hey, Love!" he beams at you.

"What do you want?" you grumble.

He chuckles, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. "It's so beautiful outside today! I thought we could spend some time outside."

You cock an eyebrow at him. "You know there's at least a foot of snow out there, right?"

He nods enthusiastically.

You sigh. "Dae-ho..."

"Before you say no," he cuts you off, "just come out with me for a little while. We'll go to the park around the corner. If you hate it we'll come right back."

You bite your lip as you weigh the options. On the one hand, you get cold very quickly. On the other hand, you've never been able to say no to Dae-ho. "Fine."

Dae-ho cheers, making you chuckle.

Thirty minutes later you arrive at the park. You changed into your thickest pair of jeans, put on your fuzziest socks, and slipped into your puffiest coat. You turn to face Dae-ho. "Okay, we're here. What do you want to do?"

"Well, we obviously have to build a snowman," he says matter-of-factly.

You chuckle. "Of course, how naïve of me to think otherwise."

Dae-ho works on making the first snowball for the base while you roll the balls for the middle and the head. As you're rolling the middle piece near where Dae-ho is, you let out a laugh when you see the massive snowball in front of him. "Dae-ho, that thing's huge!"

He just smiles over his shoulder at you. "Well you took too long, Love."

You chuckle, crouching down to put your arms around your snowball. You try to lift it, but it barely budges from the ground.

"Do you need help with that?"

"No!" you shout. You try a few more times before giving up with a sigh. "Yes."

Dae-ho laughs, walking over and picking up the snowball like it weighs nothing, plopping it perfectly in the center of the base.

"Show off," you grumble at him, making him chuckle. You go back to pick up the head, bringing it over and carefully placing it on top of the snowman. "Do you have anything for it's face?"

He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a few acorns. "I found these over by the trees." He sticks them into the snowman's head, making two eyes and a smiling mouth.

You run over and grab two sticks, sticking them in the middle to be the arms. Dae-ho takes off his hat, putting it on top of the snowman.

You both step back to admire your work.

"I gotta say," you speak up, "this is probably the best snowman I've ever built." You point to the base. "Definitely the one with the biggest ass."

"What should we name him?" Dae-ho asks.

"Dae-ho."

"What?" he asks.

You chuckle. "No, I mean we should name him Dae-ho. He is wearing your hat."

He laughs, walking over to stand next to the snowman. "Do we really look that much alike?"

You look between him and the snowman. "Wait, which one's the real Dae-ho?"

He rolls his eyes as you laugh at yourself.

"I'm just kidding," you say. "Of course I know you're the real Dae-ho. Your ass is bigger than his."

Dae-ho's eyes widen as you laugh. "Oh, you're in for it." He scoops up a mound of snow.

You run away, unable to stop the laughs that are escaping you as Dae-ho chases you through the park.

You squeal as an arm wraps around you, pulling your back flush against Dae-ho's chest. You turn your head to look up at him. "Dae-ho, no!"

"Sorry, Love, but you asked for it," he smiles. He pulls at the back of your coat, shoving the snow down your back. You let out a scream as the cold sensation envelops your body.

You quickly bend down and pick up a handful of snow, throwing it in Dae-ho's face as he's still laughing at you.

Before he can do anything, you push him backwards, making him fall back into the snow. On his way down, he's able to grab the front of your coat, bringing you right down on top of him with an 'oof'.

You look at him, both of you falling into a fit of laugher at the state you're in.

"Get off of me," Dae-ho whines.

You wrap your arms around him. "No, you're so warm," you say, snuggling into him. "You're like a furnace."

Instead of him pushing you into the snow like you expect, he wraps his arms around you, hugging you tightly.

"Thank you for coming out with me, Love," he says.

"Thank you for forcing me outside," you return. "I'm actually having a really good time."

"Well you're with me, so of course you're having a good time," he says, rubbing your back.

You chuckle, pulling your head away to look at him. "That's true."

You both spend the next few moments looking at each other, smiling like madmen.

"Are you cold?" you ask him.

He shakes his head. "How could I be cold when you make me feel so warm inside."

You roll your eyes, pushing yourself off of him. "Oh, shut up."

He laughs as you stand up, brushing the snow off of you. You look down and see a familiar piece of clothing.

"Oh crap, my hat fell off." You pick it up, attempting to put it on your head but the gloves you're wearing make it nearly impossible. You grunt. "Stupid gloves."

"I got it," Dae-ho says, standing up and taking off his own gloves. You hand the hat to him and he pulls it over your head. You smile at the warmth it provides, but your smile falls as Dae-ho yanks the hat down to cover the majority of your face.

"Damnit, Dae-ho!" you yell, hearing the man laughing in front of you.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist," he says, taking the bottom of the hat and folding it over so you can see again.

"You're so mean to me," you complain. "I'm nothing but a perfect angel and you just bully me."

"Says the girl who pushed me in the snow!" Dae-ho scoffs, a smile lighting up his face.

"You deserved it!" you defend, a small laugh laced into your words.

"You're just upset that I'm prettier than you," he shrugs.

"The girl is always better looking than the guy," you state.

He smirks. "So we're together now, huh?"

You hiss. "I was referring to me and the other Dae-ho," you say, pointing to the snowman.

Dae-ho pulls back with an offended look on his face that almost makes you burst out laughing. "Him over me?!"

"What can I say, he's a great kisser," you say.

Dae-ho takes a small step closer to you. "Bet I'm better."

You try to ignore the way your heart is pounding as he gets closer. "Alright, let's make a bet. If snowman Dae-ho is a better kisser, you have to make me hot chocolate when we get back to my place."

"If I'm the better kisser, you have to make me hot chocolate and lay with me on your couch while we watch a movie. My choice, of course."

You chuckle. He sticks his hand out. "Do we have a deal?"

You nod, shaking his hand. "We have a deal."

You move to pull your hand away but Dae-ho tightens his grip, pulling you toward him. He brings his other hand to your jaw, angling your head so he can place his lips directly onto yours.

You close your eyes, smiling against his lips as a warmth spreads through you. Your lips move in sync, fitting perfectly against each other as your arms wrap around his neck, trying to pull him even closer.

You feel him smile against you as he wraps an arm around your waist, tilting you back to kiss you even deeper. He pulls away, pressing one last kiss to your lips before fully pulling back.

"So," he says. "Who's better."

You suck in a breath through your teeth. "I don't know, it's a tough decision."

Dae-ho rolls his eyes, making you laugh. You grab onto his scarf and pull him down to you, pressing another kiss to his lips. "Come on, big guy, I'll go make us some hot chocolate."

Squid Game Tags: @thebiggestigurosimp @vvnbxz @lov3yy @miltzzy @l5byrinth @come-as-you-are-111 @starkeyszn @learninglinesintherainn @galactict3a @sawlover353 @jspidey5 @skywalker0809 @zannispppp @lianobody @ihrthoney @machii-d3arr

Dae-ho tags: @whatthefuckeryfuckityfuck @ally1uvsu @hiphip-horray @k1michii @tpwkcaryslizb @louissst28 @sshwaa @jennwonwoo @sunnysurvives @lalalaa2210 @tayshs @sunshinethatlooksalive @plntmxrss @lxnnrobin @mariaxman @alexx-iia @batty-barty-crouchjr @kxsm3t @takuma-talkz @peacemakersbeloved @skywalker0809 @soobinbunnie5 @dragons-h0ard @silas-222 @putrescentpoet @chrisgetsmewetter @sunhyeswife @smile1318 @casually-simping @slvtforfakemen @ang3licbabydolly

lmk if you want to be added to the taglist (pls specify which one) (and if you want to be removed don't be afraid to ask)

[weaselle]

i am convinced that human evolution and development was centered around the basic up-grade from "i steal your resources" to "i steal your behaviors and concepts"

We got clever enough and we just started copying absolutely everything we observed just because now we could figure out how to copy concepts and things that other animals were doing

see that squirrel hoarding acorns for the winter? we can do that. okay now how do we make these acorns edible, cause they are poisonous to a number of animals and we don't do great with them either. What if you put them in the fire? or just on hot coals? what if you put them in water on hot coals and boil them? Oh if you soak them in cold water for 24 hours and maybe change the water a couple times you can totally eat them? YOINK storing acorns for winter is our idea now.

or, you ever seen a weaver bird do it's thing? if not i'll give you one guess what they do

or how about the tailor bird that uses spider silk to stitch the edges of a big leaf together to make a nest in

or sometimes they'll stitch a bunch of leaves into a little cup for a nest

like i'm not trying to downplay how clever it is to be the first humans to weave or sew, and indeed, being the first person to weave that anyone knew about probably happened many times throughout human existence but my conceit is that most if not all of those times was a human seeing something in nature that was basically weaving and going "i'ma do that, and get real good at it - i'ma take that concept and really make it mine"

like it wouldn't surprise me if humans got dogs because we saw how ravens were treating wolves and went "shit yeah, great idea - YOINK that's my idea now."

most of the things that we think of as special human skill or behavior can actually be found elsewhere throughout nature -- all over there are animals using tools, farming, ranching, building, etc.

my favorite primate behavioralist anecdote is a group of people studying tool use in chimps were spending their days in the bush logging the use of twigs to catch termites, and over the campfire at night they're like "it's so boring i wish they'd do something more impressive than this completely basic tool skill."

and one of them was like "actually... how do we know its not a difficult skill? has anyone tried to use a twig to catch termites and see?" and so the next day, like good little scientists, they went out and recorded their attempts at catching termites with twigs.

And lo and behold out of the whole group and all their attempts that day, only, like, a single termite was caught by a human, mostly by chance. Suddenly the whole situation flipped - they'd been thinking of it as basic unskilled tool use, but actually the chimps knew how to do something that none of them could easily figure out on their own - or even together as a group!

y'all, they had to go back to watching the chimps do it to figure out how. Think about that. University degrees, scientific minds, educated people... and they had to be taught how by the chimps.

It turns out there's a reason that young chimps will spend like a year closely studying how an adult is fishing for termites. You gotta select the right kind of twig or leaf stem, maybe you fray the end like a paint brush depending on particulars, you gotta have just the right poking and little shaking technique to provoke the termites into biting the twig, it's a whole thing. There's even regional/cultural differences in the general approach to termite fishing that are distinct between groups that live in different areas.

Now, wild chimps have been observed using objects as tools to fashion crude spears for hunting (it's the mothers doing it by the way, and slowly some of their kids have been growing up doing it, which will probably result in refinements and developments eventually.

ants do both farming and ranching. For real. Some species of ant grow a fungus they eat AND it's a domesticated fungus, like our corn, it can't actually reproduce and survive in the wild without the ants farming it. They maintain its growing conditions and feed it leaf litter mulch, and the fungus produces some kind of ant food idk i forget the details about that. But that's farming. They are farming a domesticated mushroom, basically. And other species of ant will maintain a herd of aphids; they'll move them from grazing area to grazing area, and protect them from predators, and they "milk" them for a liquid food substance and also every now and then they straight up eat one. That's ranching.

beavers sometimes have muskrat... tenants? pets? The muskrats low key pay rent by changing out the reed bedding they all use, and they live in the beaver's lodge with them and eat some of the food. So. idk

Some Tarantulas keep frogs as pets

anyway my point is, i think the true human skill that sets us apart is our ability deconstruct and reconstruct anything we see into something that is for us. Oh, you eat that? Now WE eat that. You have the perfect teeth to drill little holes in specific tree trunks to let the sap ooze out and eat it because it's high in sugar? We don't have those teeth but we're gonna do that now and if we can't figure out a tool that's as good as your teeth at it, watch out, because we will absolutely just also steal your fuckin teeth.

[bitchesgetriches]

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Investing for Beginners

Fundamentals of investing:

What’s the REAL Rate of Return on the Stock Market?

Do NOT Make This Disastrous Beginner Mistake With Your Retirement Funds

The Dark Magic of Financial Horcruxes: How and Why to Diversify Your Assets

Dafuq Is Interest? And How Does It Work for the Forces of Darkness?

Booms, Busts, Bubbles, and Beanie Babies: How Economic Cycles Work

When Money in the Bank Is a Bad Thing: Understanding Inflation and Depreciation

Investing Deathmatch series:

Investing Deathmatch: Managed Funds vs. Index Funds 

Investing Deathmatch: Traditional IRA vs. Roth IRA 

Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not 

Investing Deathmatch: Stocks vs. Bonds 

Investing Deathmatch: Timing the Market vs. Time IN the Market

Investing Deathmatch: Paying off Debt vs. Investing in the Stock Market 

Investing Deathmatch: What Happens in a Bull Market vs. a Bear Market 

Now that we’ve covered the basics, are you ready to invest but don’t know where to begin? We recommend starting small with micro-investing through our partner Acorns. They’ll round up your purchases to the nearest dollar and invest the change in a nicely diversified portfolio of stocks, bonds, and ETFs. Easy as eating pancakes:

Start saving small with Acorns

Alternative investments:

Small Business Investing: A Kinder, Gentler Alternative to the Stock Market 

Bullshit Reasons Not to Buy a House: Refuted

Investing in Cryptocurrency is Bad and Stupid

So I Got Chickens, Part 1: Return on Investment

Twelve Reasons Senior Pets Are an Awesome Investment 

How To Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year

Understanding the stock market:

Ask the Bitches Pandemic Lightning Round: “Did Congress Really Give $1.5 Trillion to Wall Street?”

Season 3, Episode 2: “I Inherited Money. Should I Pay Off Debt, Invest It, or Blow It All on a Car?” 

Money Is Fake and GameStop Is King: What Happened When Reddit and a Meme Stock Tanked Hedge Funds

Season 3, Episode 7: “I’m Finished With the Basic Shit. What Are the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?”

Wait… Did I Just Lose All My Money Investing in the Stock Market?

Season 4, Episode 1: “Index Funds Include Unethical Companies. Can I Still Invest in Them, or Does That Make Me a Monster?” 

Retirement plans:

Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One?

Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here’s 3 Ways That’ll Fuck You Over

How to Painlessly Run the Gauntlet of a 401k Rollover

Ask the Bitches: “Can I Quit With Unvested Funds? Or Am I Walking Away From Too Much Money?”

Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment

You Need to Talk to Your Parents About Their Retirement Plan

Season 4, Episode 5: “401(k)s Aren’t Offered in My Industry. How Do I Save for Retirement if My Employer Won’t Help?” 

Got a retirement plan already? How about three or four? Have you been leaving a trail of abandoned 401(k)s behind you at every employer you quit? Did we just become best friends? Because that was literally my story until recently. Our partner Capitalize will help you quickly and painlessly get through a 401(k) rollover:

Roll over your retirement fund with Capitalize

Recessions:

Season 1, Episode 12: “Should I Believe the Fear-Mongering about Another Recession?”

There’s a Storm a’Comin’: What We Know About the Next Recession

Ask the Bitches: How Do I Prepare for a Recession?

A Brief History of the 2008 Crash and Recession: We Were All So Fucked

Ask the Bitches Pandemic Lightning Round: “Is This the Right Time To Start Investing?”

[heatherwitch]

Bedridden witch: Seasons edition

I made a series for The Wheel of the Year many years ago but I realize that not everyone follows it and dividing suggestions into the four seasons as well might be more helpful for some!

Spring 🌿

Collect the first rain of the season and keep it in a jar

Drink floral or fruit teas

Burn floral or fruit scented candles

Light a candle or turn on an electric candle.

Open the curtains to let light in. 

Visualize a light cleaning each and every room in your home.

Decorate with dried, fresh or fake flowers.

Spray a cleansing spray throughout your bedroom.

Clean an area in your home, big or small. (It could be as simple as making a pile of trash so it’s easier to move later.)

Bathe yourself (either in the tub or sponge bath style). Infuse some herbs/flowers into the water!

Water your plants and whisper blessings to them.

Plant something new! It can be as simple as a beansprout in a paper cup.

Meditate and imagine yourself out in your favorite area in spring.

Make a terrarium.

Spray floral water in the air and on your bedsheets.

Watch for and welcome the returning birds

Learn about local plants.

Crack open all your windows to let in some fresh air.

Bedridden witch: Garden edition

Summer ☀️

Make sun water/tea

Drink fruit teas, infused water or juices

Burn floral or fruit candles

Decorate with flowers and crystals.

Wake up earlier than usual to enjoy a full day of light.

Try to be awake and witness both the sunrise and sunset.

Decorate your windows with rainbow prisms.

Make flower crowns with fresh, dried or paper flowers.

Make sure sunlight and fresh air can reach you.

Enjoy some fresh fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds.

Decorate with/wear/create things with bright colors:

Decorate a new pot for your plants (painting, sharpies, ribbons, etc.)

If you can, put a bird feeder outside your window or just watch them as they fly by.

Pour an offering of water for the plants (indoors, outside or out the window).

Have a picnic (outside, on the kitchen floor or in bed).

Find a way to incorporate honey into your day (scrubs, food, tea, etc.)

Burn beeswax candles.

Listen to music that just sounds like summertime.

Autumn 🍂

Collect the first rain of the season and keep it in a jar

Drink spiced tea, apple ciders

Infuse berries into water.

Burn spiced, woodsy or autumn scented candles

Eat things like breads, nuts, grapes, pomegranates, pies, apples and root vegetables.

Start a new project like crocheting or knitting. This is also a great time to finish that project you’ve been avoiding.

Wear and decorate and create with browns, golds, dark greens, oranges and yellows.

Decorate your home to make it look more like Autumn (fake or real leaves, acorns, paper cutouts, etc.)

Create a picnic/feast wherever is reasonable, with a little bit of everything.

Pull up a video of leaves falling or a fire crackling.

Pumpkin pie, pumpkin spiced-things, pumpkin seeds.

Decorate with small pumpkins, paint them or draw on them if carving is too high-energy.

Create an altar honoring loved ones who have passed on, either a material one or a photo album online.

Pull up a video of a burning fire or light candles.

Turn off all of the lights and sit/lay in darkness.

Visualize your wards and boost your home protection.

Do spirit work/leave offerings for the spirits.

Burn incense/make a spray that smells of spices (cloves, basil, etc.)

Watch spooky/witchy movies.

Winter ❄️

Collect the first snow/make snow water and keep it in a jar

Drink seasonal teas, ciders and hot cocoa

Burn spruce, pine or winter scented candles

Watch gifs/videos of snow, ice forming, fire crackling, etc.

Get/make a small wreath and keep it indoors!

Keep clear quartz and snowflake obsidian around.

Make paper snowflakes! Or find an app/website where you can do a digital one.

Use your heat to draw sigils on frosted windows.

Put a bird feeder outside your window so you get winter visitors!

Get empty glass ornaments and fill them with herbs/pine needles/things that remind you of winter and hang them around.

Get some cute little snow globes. 

Decorate with winter colors! White, blue, silver, grey, dark green, etc.

Create an apple pomander with cloves or dried orange slices.

Decorate with evergreen boughs, holly, pine cones, etc.

Wash your face with snow/cold water.

Make rosehip, peppermint, vanilla, rooibos or spiced tea.

Step outside/open a window to feel the cold air (if you live somewhere warm, do this in the early morning/night).

Handcraft gifts for loved ones or write heartfelt cards/letters to the people you care about.

Put birdseed outside/a bird feeder by your window.

Make a simmer pot, or use this idea to create a scented spray.

Bedridden witch: Winter edition (more ideas in this post!)

You may also like:

Bedridden witch series

Bedridden witch: Wheel of the year edition

Bedridden witch: Elements edition

Bedridden witch: Weather edition

Bedridden witch: Nature edition

Witchcraft for the chronically fatigued

Spoonie witch masterpost

[pink-crayon-princess]

🧸°•🪀☆°•🕹☆•°•🔫☆•°•🧸☆•°🪀

Ways to play if you can't have toys (that isn't just tv/journal/coloring!)

🧸°•🪀☆°•🕹☆•°•🔫☆•°•🧸☆•°🪀

I can have/buy/hide some things, I just can't have obvious little gear!

Window clings make great bath toys, and they come in lots of shapes and sizes for different holidays ☃️🎃

Fidget toys are also great bath toys, and squishy ones feel nice and slippery in the water! ♾️

Statues, figures, holiday decorations, and other thrifted objects can double as dolls - just be careful with them! 🎎

Fake fruit, such as grapes, can double as play food 🍇

Some useful items, such as plush doorstops or silly pens, can be cute for decoration AND for playtime! 🚪

Buy childrens' piano books and learn to play music on a free piano app, if you don't have access to a real piano. The songs are adorable, you will learn a skill, AND you will re-experience learning as a kiddo! 🎹

Print off or make age-appropriate worksheets for math, science, language, etc. and discard them afterwards 📝

Reward yourself with treats when you do something positive 🍬

Draw a picture using at least 10 stickers! 🩷

Lollipops make tasty replacements for pacis. The best sugar-free option is Zollipops! 🍭

I can't have/buy/hide anything at all

If you can't take baths, use brightly-colored soap or shaving cream to finger paint in the shower🧴

Use highlighters and pens that come in lots of different colors instead of crayons 🌈

Make a "snack plate" - a less-fancy charcuterie - it always makes me feel tiny! Cut your food into small bites and eat with your hands if you can 🍿

Learning is the best form of being little, in my fair opinion. Look up songs with hand motions and copy them, watch educational shows such as animal documentaries, or look around on kids' websites such as Nat Geo Kids! 🧪

Pick a scent, piece of clothing, accessory, etc. that you only use when you're tiny. Your brain will slip into the mood quickly 👕

Make paper dolls of yourself, your favorite characters, animals, and more. Make scenarios for yourself such as the carnival, cooking dinner, or being a vet! 🗞

Dance! 🎵

Use your imagination! Maybe a sparkly makeup brush is a movie star. Maybe a little candle is the shy kid. Maybe a sponge is the goofy goober. What personalities would you assign to inanimate objects around you? 💭

Crafting objects can be toys too. Ribbons, for example, can be laser beams, x marks the spot, horsie bows, jungle vines, balance beams, mazes, lassos, reins, and more. 🎀

Get outside! Go for a walk/run and collect fun things that you see along the way, like rocks or acorns. Maybe you can use them for playtime! 🌰

Use different-colored socks on your hands to make sock puppets 🧦

Go about your day ... but as a pirate! Or a princess! Or a tiger! How would a robot fold socks? 🤖

If you're not big on imaginative play, find things to sort, line up, or organize 📊

Talk to God. I'm serious! He wants to know and love you when you feel the most sensitive. You can babble at Him for hours and He will find you so sweet and endearing. There is nothing more healing than being His little one. Like He said, "Let the little children come to Me!" ✝️

[sunflowergirl522]

Fairy Circles

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fairy!Reader

Summary: Eddie accidentally traps you in his lunchbox and takes you home with him.

Word Count: 2545

Fairy!Reader Masterlist

Eddie eyes up the wooded area next to the trailer park from his van before sighing and grabbing his stash from the passenger's seat. He’s been trying to smoke less for the last couple months knowing Wayne’s been getting sick of the smell, but it had been a long day. It seemed like everyone in Hawkins car had an issue and they were down a man at the garage and on top of that he’s been having phantom pains on and off all day in his scars. And the weed always helps, so he turns the van off and crosses the park.

He’s not paying attention to where he’s walking, too busy searching for the blunt he knows he rolled yesterday. Which is what leads him to almost stepping in the fairy circle that definitely wasn’t there a couple of days ago. It’s only when the slight tinkling sound reaches his ears that he looks around.

“Shit!” Eddie moves his foot that was about to be set down on the other side of the mushrooms sprouting from the ground back to safety before taking a giant step backwards. The tinkling stops as soon as he does, causing him to look around for what could have been causing it. When he doesn’t see a cause for it he glances back at the decently sized circle of mushrooms that seem to have sprung up overnight.

He’s never seen a fairy ring in real life before and he has to admit he’s intrigued. Just not enough to risk stepping into it. He knows all about the different outcomes that could come from it, and the last thing he wants is to get trapped there or dance until he dies. So instead of investigating it, which he wants to do oh so badly, he turns to go around it.

The light shining off of his rings is what had initially drawn your attention to him. And when he was about to step into your circle you couldn’t contain your excited laughter from your lounging spot on the moss growing on a branch of the oak tree above the circle. You feel like you’ve been waiting ages for someone to come across it and dance with you. You even got up and moved to get a better look at this, as you came to realize quickly, pretty human man. And when his foot stops just as it was going to cross the boundary and he takes a step back you grow the most aggravated you’ve been in a long time.

You cross your arms and stomp your feet as you pace in an angry circle, cheeks puffing out. You let out a tiny yell that gets absorbed in the wind and kick the part of the branch pointing up that you were leaning on to get a better look. Your eyes catch on the acorns on one of the thinner branches under you. You have to pull with all your might, and you go somersaulting backwards once you rip it off, but you get it with a proud smile on your face. 

The rustling of the leaves only catches Eddie’s attention for a brief moment before he shrugs it off and keeps walking to his designated smoking spot, a hunters' platform he found his freshman year of high school and has yet to see anyone actually hunt on.

“What the-” It’s when an acorn hits and bounces off of the top of his head that he spins around and looks up at the tree, brown eyes becoming slits as if that’ll help him spot the culprit. When he doesn’t see anything he chalks it up to just nature running its course instead of a fairy throwing something at him and scoops up said acorn before continuing on his way.

You follow him, becoming intrigued even more by him once you watch him put the acorn in the thing he’s carrying and wanting to know what else is inside immediately. Once he’s situated on the platform in a tree you hover for a while watching in awe as he brings his weird stick to his lips and inhales before exhaling and leaning his head back against the trunk of the tree. You enjoy how the dying sunlight glints off of his rings and the ink on his newly exposed arms.

Once he throws his fire starter back into his box you fly over to it landing just next to it, staying crouched so as not to be spotted. Once you see his eyes are closed again you stand and grab onto the top to peek inside. The pretty blue crystals scattered on the opposite side immediately draw your attention. After seeing the man preoccupied you dart inside to get a better look. They’re all different shapes and bigger than your head and you can’t help but think you’ve found treasure. 

Eddie puts his roach out against the platform before putting it back in his lunchbox to throw out later and shutting it. He slings his jacket over his shoulder and grabs the box’s handle before climbing down to head back home.

You don’t notice the stub of the stick he had fall in behind you, too distracted with turning one of the more ball-like gems around in your hand, until you get overwhelmed with an odd earthy smell and notice the lid shutting. It’s immediately being moved and knocking you onto your ass. You huff before standing, finding purchase on a smaller less solid red and white box, and flying up to try to push on the lid to try to open it. After several failed attempts you land back on the constantly slightly tilting ground and let out a scream. One that stays hidden from Eddie’s ears due to the metal blocking it and the distance from his lunchbox to his ears.

You should have never gotten into this trap! Because of course that’s what this was, the intriguing pretty human and the gems were all a ploy to capture you. You feel so stupid and your anger boils up as one of said gems slides to your feet. You kick it into the wall enjoying the echoing noise it makes. You enjoy it so much that you continue to kick and throw the things in your prison, stomping all over the green clumps and snapping the arm of the little statue off. As soon as your prison stops moving and finds solid ground you rush to start banging on walls. 

Eddie hears the constant dinging coming from his lunchbox just as he’s pulling his pajama pants on. He sits at the chair in front of his desk before sliding it in front of him, successfully knocking you on your ass again, and opening the lid up. He’s immediately met with the sweet smell of strawberries, which is definitely not what it should smell like. His eyes go wide when he sees you sitting there arms crossed and slightly glowing in the midst of the chaos that is his lunchbox.

“Woah.” You look up at the sound of his voice catching the shocked look on his face briefly before you’re shooting up and out of the box you were stuck in. You hover there for a second before seeing your way back outside next to him and flying straight into a wall of some sort.

“I gotcha!” Eddie catches and cradles you in his hands as you bounce off of the window. You can’t be taller than three inches and your wings, which tickle the slightest bit as they brush against Eddie’s palm, remind him of a butterfly. Your dress looks delicately made out of the petals of some purple flower and he wants to admire the craftsmanship. And he would if you hadn’t flown out of his hand to hide behind his lunchbox as soon as the shock of flying into the window wore off.

He’s still in so much shock that there’s a real living fairy in his room that it doesn’t register how scared you might be after being shut in his lunchbox until you’re scurrying away from him.

“Oh god, I’m such an idiot. You must be so scared, hold on.” He gets up and you peer around the corner to watch him as he digs around in a drawer, the softness in his voice gaining your interest. When he sits back down you go back to hiding only hearing the beads he drops in between your hiding spot and himself. “Here, I don’t want to hurt you, I swear.” He pushes his chair back and crosses his arms so you know he’ll keep them to himself and waits for you to come out. 

You think about it for a couple minutes before poking your head around the corner again looking at his new position before at the small offering in front of you. The pretty beads make you smile and you clock the human in front of you again before making your way to them. Eddie’s transfixed as you walk out from your hiding spot and kneel to pick up and admire the beads. 

“Sorry for shutting you in my lunchbox. Right hand up to god I didn’t even know you were in there.” Your attention goes up to him and Eddie catches himself holding his breath for your reaction. You can tell he’s telling the truth, you’ve always been good at that, so you just shrug and go back to your beads. You don’t even flinch when his hand goes up with his choice of wording. He notices and decides to test his luck and move his chair back to where it originally was. All you do is look at him and tilt your head to take him in. He has very pretty eyes, if you were a more violent fairy you’d want to pluck them out of his head. The thought makes you giggle and Eddie recognizes it as the tinkling sound from earlier.

“That was you earlier, I was about to step into your circle.” He’s beaming at you and getting excited. It’s admittedly contagious as you nod and smile at him before remembering how he ruined your fun by not stepping into it. Your smile drops and you cross your arms as you look at him. He notices and goes to reach into the box pulling out the acorn from earlier. 

“Did you throw this at me?” You nod once pouting. “Well I’m sorry for not stepping in. I’ve just heard and read stories about what could have happened and didn’t want to risk it. But you seem very nice and I’m sure you wouldn’t have kept me trapped there forever.” You shake your head rigorously. You really just wanted to dance with someone for a bit, you’ve felt so lonely recently. And you had forgotten completely about how some fairies will do things like that. 

“What were you doing in my lunch box that got you shut in anyway?” 

“Oh!” Eddie doesn’t hear your exclamation, just sees your mouth form it before you’re standing and climbing into his lunchbox. He only has to wait a couple seconds until you’re throwing out his D20 dice and rolling a nat twenty without meaning to. When you fly out you have his D4, D8, and D10 balanced in your arms. You drop them where the D20 rolled and beam while gesturing with open arms at them.

“My dice?” You nod even though that’s an odd name for gems.

“They’re pretty.” To Eddie your words are a little like small bells but the way you stare at them has him agreeing with you anyway.

“You’re a pretty little thing aren’t you?” Once again you look up at him but this time you really take him in, from his long hair to his pretty brown eyes to the scars on his neck, chest and torso. Under your studious gaze he suddenly remembers that he never put a new shirt on and starts to fidget with self consciousness.

“I should finish getting dressed.”

“What are those from? Somebody hurt you?”

“I don’t know what you’re saying darlin’ but if it’s about the scars you don’t have to worry about it. I got them a while ago.” He winces as the phantom pains decide to pick the worst moment of his life to return. And suddenly he’s feeling the bites all over again just slightly less painful. You fly over to hover in front of him as he rubs the ones on his chest and grimaces. You start to panic not liking watching the human who gifted you such beautiful beads and showed you kindness and called you pretty go through whatever this is. 

“Let me help.” You fly closer to his ear hoping it’ll help him hear you. After you fly back to see his reaction you find his eyes wide at hearing your voice before he nods an okay. With his permission you fly closer to where he’s rubbing and trying to get it to go away, placing your tiny hands on the scars and starting the healing process you normally just do for animals or plants. After so long of it not working how you want it to because you can’t cover enough surface area you aggravatedly sigh and back away for your next move hoping it’ll work better.

One minute you’re this small fairy in front of him and the next you’re human sized, glitter falling to the floor where you stand from your use of magic. He barely has time to take you in before your hands are on his chest again, a sort of glow emitting from your connected skin as you try to heal him. It works, the pains fade but Eddie’s not sure if that’s because of you or well you. 

Your hands are cooler than he would have expected them to be. And now he can really see the curves that make up your form and the gorgeous eyes that he could only barely make out the color of before. You’re pretty as a pixie but as a human you’re like nothing he’s ever seen, you’re plain ethereal. 

“Better?” Your voice sounds different than in your smaller form and Eddie immediately falls in love with it. All he can do is nod as you look up at him, because even in your bigger form you’re shorter than him, and you take your hands off of him. You giggle as you see the glittery dust in the shape of your hands on his skin where you were using your magic. It’s Eddie’s new favorite sound because on top of it being an actual laugh there’s still the slight tinkle in it from when you’re fairy size. “Good.”

Before Eddie can say anything else you’re poofing back into fairy size, leaving more glitter behind, and flying over to the desk to pick up all the beads you can carry. After that you fly over to the window touching the glass with your foot wondering how to get out.

“Let me get that.” Eddie comes over and opens the window watching you while he does so. “Will I see you again?” You just shrug before flying out and heading back home.

Eddie Taglist (27/40): @sadbitchfangirl​ @notbeforelong​​​​ @navs-bhat @emotionaldreamer ​​​​​  @gaysludge​​​ ​@eddiethesexy​ @mazerunnerrose​ @midnightsgetawaycar   @mushroomelephant @saramelaniemoon @nojamsonmytoast @vintagehellfire @esoltis280 @spikedhe4rt @siriuslysmoking @toobsessedsstuff @alana4610 @gretavanfleas @sparkletash @aactuaaltraash @spookyemorockbabe @jesssssmaybankk @tlclick73 @eddiemunsonslittlemetalhead @bl4ckt00thgr1n @eli-flower @canyonmooncreations

Everything Taglist: @matchamunson​ @bubsonnobx @practicalghost @katsukis1wife @crustyowos @yourfavdummy @protecteddiemunson4vr @kennedy-brooke @m00nkn1ghts @rory-cakes

[mx-paradox]

Treasures {Bachira Meguru x Reader}

Small gifts between you and Meguru throughout the years

Childhood friends to lovers, fluff, not kidding this is sickeningly sweet, gender neutral reader, inspired by that additional time where bachira has a bunch of little objects/junk he calls his treasures because i do that too and i thought it was cute. word count: 3100 | Ao3 version

Your friendship with Bachira Meguru began when he pressed a beaten-up plastic dinosaur figure into your hands.

To him, it started a bit earlier, when you became the first person to ever stand up to his childhood bullies. They had started with the normal taunts, calling Meguru a freak and a weirdo, before they started pushing him around. He was just about to headbutt one of them when a tiny shoe came flying through the air just to hit one of the bullies on the head with startling accuracy. The shoe hit before he even heard your own squeaky voice calling his tormentors meanies as you half-ran half-hobbled over with only one sandal on.

The bullies scattered, one nursing his sore head, and Meguru got his first look at his savior. He was instantly entranced by you, and he knew he had to become your friend. You were just so cool! (His opinion would not be shaken, even when you tripped over your own feet soon afterwards before you could retrieve your makeshift projectile.)

He knew he had to do something to repay you, something to cement his offer of friendship. And so, (after you had gotten up and scrubbed the dirt from your face), he retrieved the grubby sauropod from his pocket and presented it to you like it was a tribute to an ancient god.

The two of you were both snotty-nosed toddlers, so, to you, this was equivalent to a blood pact of loyalty. He had found the toy on the ground, covered in dirt and with its tail halfway chewed off; to him, it was a precious treasure, a discovery akin to digging out a real fossilized dinosaur skeleton. He gave it to you, stating that the color of dinosaur’s molded-plastic skin reminded him of your eyes, and he would like to be your friend very much since you were so cool.

You received the toy with the appropriate sounds of amazement. Then, you gave him a gap-toothed smile before pulling him over to the swing set, giggling about how you bet you could swing higher than your new friend.

(You couldn’t, if only because Meguru went up so high he slipped off of the swing completely and was left dangling by his arms as you screeched.)

—

It became somewhat of a tradition for you both to exchange little trinkets you had discovered.

Meguru was constantly picking things up off of the ground and sticking them in his pockets. He called them his treasures, and they ranged from acorns to cool rocks to coins to beads, whatever little bauble caught his eye. You picked up the habit from him, though it took little coaxing; you had barely known him for a week before you were presenting him with corroded pennies and half-smashed nuts that he oohed and aahed over appreciatively.

You had a special shelf at home that you collected Meguru’s gifted treasures on. It sent a little bolt of happiness through your chest every time you looked at them; somehow, even after all this time, Meguru gifting you something had not lost its spark. Each time he presented you with a new find, proclaiming how it had made him think of you, you felt giddier and giddier.

It was a feeling only matched by the excitement of him accepting one of your presents. His whole being reminded you of the sun, from is cheery demeanor to his golden eyes, but his smiles were brighter than sunshine in your eyes; he lit up your entire life.

It was this smile you were rewarded with when you carefully attached your newest present to his school uniform lapel. It was a small dolphin pin, pristine except for a small chip in the blue enamel of its dorsal fin; a lucky find from the dusty corner of the conbini. It was more ‘valuable,’ in a monetary sense, than many of your other presents to him (though likely not by much), but if there was ever an occasion to give him something special, it was now.

You knew how hard he had worked to get into the same high school as you did. You didn’t know how to bring it up verbally. There were no words, really, to tell him how much his loyalty to you meant. If you had nothing and no one else in life, you knew that Meguru would be by your side, and the knowledge of this was one of the warmest comforts you had ever known. But you were young, and your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth when you tried to tell him just how much he meant to you.

So instead, you straightened his jacket, and ruffled his hair until his eyes were crinkled and his cheeks were red with laughter. And when he slipped his hand into yours, to pull you towards the entrance of your new school, you squeezed his fingers back and tried not to get blinded by his answering grin.

—

The two of you had slowly drifted away from the graduation ceremony and were now lying slumped in a heap on the grass.

Meguru had already discarded his school jacket somewhere, glad to never have to wear the wretched thing again. His tie was wrapped around your head like a schoolboy's hachimaki. He was spinning a pen he had found somewhere between his fingers as he gazed up at the sky. He made sure to nudge you when he saw a cloud that was vaguely shaped like a pig.

“Look, it’s the principal!” he crowed.

You let out a snort worthy of the cloud’s animal patron. “We’re being haunted!”

“I thought someone had to be dead to haunt you?” Meguru said thoughtfully.

“Well, he’s so old and crusty he might as well be.”

The two of you dissolve into giggles.

When you stopped laughing, you found yourself nearly nose to nose with Meguru. His eyes were a perfect, luminous amber in the sun, and you could see the shadow of your own face reflected in them. If you leaned in any closer, you thought you could fall right into them. Unconsciously, you bent towards him, head tilting to one side; whether you would plunge into his eyes or collide with his lips first, you weren’t sure, but you knew would not feel bad about either.

The two of you stayed like that for an unknown amount of time, breathing each other’s air. The excitement of the day had faded into something slower, sweeter and gentler than the electric tingle of nerves that danced through your limbs that morning. You could count the blurry dots of the freckles that speckle his cheeks, could see every shade of warm gold and sunflower yellow that braid together in his irises. You couldn’t see his smile, but you knew it was there, as surely as you could feel the upturn of your own lips.

In the end, you didn’t drown in his eyes, nor did you touch his lips with yours; instead, he tapped his forehead against your forehead, like a cat, before pulling away. Your heart was filled with the same honey-warmth that lights up his eyes, because you knew that it wasn’t a rejection, but a promise. You had known him since you were small; nothing would ever tear Meguru from that special place in your heart, and you could guess from the way he clung to you that he felt the same. He had been yours for years, and vice versa. And the two of you would have each other for years to come. There was no rush now; now, there was only the slow, quieting warmth of a spring day and the promise of a life ahead.

Meguru passed you his pen, and you took it as the gift it was. The ink was a bright candy pink, and it blended in with the blush on Meguru’s cheeks as you drew bubblegum stars and constellations across the freckles of his face.

(Upon his forehead, you drew a small heart, right where you thought your skin kissed his.)

—

The air carried with it the unmistakable aftertaste of an oncoming storm.

Though the temperature outside was not unpleasant, the shoreline was empty aside from you and Meguru, the pale-gray sky having deterred any other potential beach-goers. Even though the beach was small, only touching a sliver of the ocean, and the weather would be called dismal at best…you were still excited. Everything about your new home excited you, because it was the home you now shared with Meguru.

The two of you never really talked about what you were to each other. It wasn't really necessary. You both knew, deep within your souls, that you were each other's most precious person. (You both knew that said souls were intertwined forever more.) Words couldn't express the affection you had for each other.

You both had been separated by distance for a long time as Meguru sparked his soccer career and you worked your way through college. You would call or message him whenever you were able, but it was…difficult, to go years where you would only be able to see his beautiful smile in person every few months. It was the sweetest of delights when you were finally able to live together again, this time in a home all your own.

Meguru had come here before you, by a few scant days, and had used the time not spent moving his things in to your new home exploring the area. And, out of all the places he had seen, the beach was the first place he wanted to show you.

You were still a little hazy from sleep, having passed out for far too long after your flight here (you almost wish you hadn't fallen asleep so quickly, so you could've reveled in Meguru's warm embrace for a little bit longer). But your happiness gave wings to your feet as Meguru dragged you by the hands into an improvised partner dance. Your shoes stuck awkwardly in the sand, kicking up damp grit with every movement, and the ocean breeze wreaked havoc on Meguru's fluffy hair. It wasn't the picturesque, beautiful thing of romance movies, but you thought it might be better; because it was real, but also because it was him.

His laughter echoed across the empty beach, cackling and unrestrained. The glint of his smile and the joy in his eyes would have outshone the sun, even if it were out in full force. The wind was cool but his hand was warm in yours; when he pulled you close, you could feel his heartbeat through his chest, thumping out of time with your footsteps. He spun the both of you around and around, until you got so dizzy and giggly you tripped over your own feet. Before you even registered your fall, you were caught around the waist by Meguru's surprisingly strong grip. He was bent forward over you, tips of his brown hair brushing your cheeks as he grinned down at you. You felt as if you couldn't breathe, frozen in place as your eyes meet his; there was so much love in his gaze as he looked at you, you felt struck dumb.

After a moment, he pulled you back upright, but not before he gave you the lightest kiss on the tip of your nose, complete with an over-exaggerated "mwah" sound. Your face felt like it was lit aflame, and you knew you were smiling like an idiot.

"Should have said you wanted to be dipped," Meguru cackled, before he was once more tugging you along by the hand.

He brought you over to a small pile of rocks at the end of the beach. After you stumbled over them, helped along by Meguru's tight grip on your wrist, you finally saw what he was so excited to show you.

In that sheltered corner of that small beach, hidden away, was a patch of sand that was absolutely covered in sea glass.

Even in the dim light, the multicolored glass pebbles gleamed against the dull sand. Polished by the waves and still glistening with water from the retreating tide, each oblong shape stood out like a tiny jewel. Just from what you could see on the beach's surface, there was umber, green, crystal clear, red, both pale and deep blue…each a sliver of beauty born of refuse, turmoil, and time.

"Ta dah!" Meguru said, gesturing his hands like he was showcasing a TV prize. "Rainbow beach!"

When you first came home to Meguru, he had given you a gift; a piece of sea glass, large enough to act as a paperweight. You realized that this must have been where he got it from. And now he was sharing that place with you.

Your cheeks hurt from how wide your smile stretched. You saw your excitement matched in his eyes, and you couldn't help but tug him into a quick, bone-crushing hug. "It's beautiful, Meguru. Thank you for showing me."

He's smug at your praise, like a cat that got the cream. You raced each other down to the secret kaleidoscopic beach, both rising to the unspoken challenge of seeking out the perfect piece of sea glass to give the other.

Scrabbling around in the grit of the sand, though perhaps not the most comfortable or dignified thing, made you feel young again. Meguru's presence made you feel young again, but only in the good ways; the world, all of a sudden, was something to be explored and felt and touched and enjoyed, rather than something to be endured, when he was with you. Your heart was light, and your face was open; both things that could sometimes be hard to accomplish these days. But you could always trust in Meguru to bring out the light in you.

You examined each piece of sea glass with a stringent eye. Most got tossed back; some were placed in your pocket as possible Meguru gift contenders, but none screamed out to you. Until.

You found it. The perfect one. The one that was meant for him.

Meguru was not observant enough to catch you this time as you tackled him. He was able to stop himself from collapsing fully onto his back, but the two of you went tumbling down all the same.

You found yourself naturally straddling his waist, bending partially over him as he leaned back, arms braced behind him. The fall had done nothing to wipe the perpetual catlike grin adorning his face away; even if it couldn't have felt good to be bowled over like that, he seemed nothing but thrilled to have you so close again.

His mouth had not even fully opened in question before you were presenting him with your latest treasure. "It matches your eyes," you said, voice softer than you intend and yet still not as soft as you feel inside.

Indeed, it did match his eyes; a perfect, deep shade of amber that drew you to it immediately. The glass was uniquely shaped; instead of a fully symmetrical rounded shape, it branched into two distinct lobes with a point at the other end, looking almost like a lopsided heart. It was perfect.

Meguru's eyes lit up. A hand came up to take his gift, holding it up close to his face to observe it. After a moment, he tucked it into the pocket of his shirt, right over his chest. The chesire-cat smile spread across his face softens at the edges, contentedly. "You always give me the best, don't you?"

It's so earnest. He couldn't just mean the gifts, you thought. His face was so open; those beautiful eyes that never left your mind were so wide you felt like you could look into the depths of Meguru's very being. His cheeks, brushed with freckles, were also dusted with the lightest of blushes. His hair was wind-swept and tangled, but it still looked to be the softest thing in the world.

You couldn't help yourself. Your hands reached up, cradling his face in your palms, thumbs pressing into the softness of those freckled cheeks. There was perfect understanding between the two of you, in that moment, born of years of trust, and you both leaned in at the same time.

Meguru's lips were plush, slightly bitten but still so perfect against your own; he tasted of candy and salt from the sea breeze and of perhaps the oldest joy you had ever known. Kissing Meguru wasn't the thing of fireworks; it felt more like a campfire being stoked inside of you. A brightness, a warmth, that was a part of you always but was ignited and fueled and cared for so tenderly by him, ever since you met all those years ago. It felt new. It felt like it always had. It felt as natural and predictable as the tide and the opening of the storm clouds above you. It felt like the adrenaline beating through your veins as you both ran home, and it felt like the comforting warmth of Meguru's body as you curled up together in the same bed, under the same blankets. It was inevitable, and still miraculous all the same.

—

Meguru is breaking tradition.

Even after all these years, the treasures you gave each other weren't really treasures in the monetary sense. Typically, they were things found, things that were special to you both, special to people who sought out beauty in the minutiae and the often-overlooked elements of life.

But he needs this to be perfect. He knows you would accept anything he gave you, but this is different. It is not just a gift. It's a promise. It's a thank you for all you have done for him, all you have given him over the years, and a binding vow that he will return everything a hundredfold for the rest of your lives, if you'll have him.

After all, you were his guiding light and his anchor, for as long as he had known you. For all you said he kept you grounded, it was really you who kept him together and present in the world, you who prevented him from slipping fully into the world of monsters that forever hung on the edge of his vision. You saved him from years of loneliness, of having no one other than his demons to talk to. You gave him an unconditional, secure type of love that he fed off of greedily.

You were his everything.

So, the ring he is buying you needs to be perfect. Perfect enough to ask his most precious person to marry him.

Even if he knows you'll say yes, because you had spent years showing him how much you loved him. You deserve the best that he could give you, always.

He can't wait to get the perfect ring. He can't wait to ask you to stay by his side forever. Because after all, you were the most precious treasure he had ever found.

[michanvalentine]

I still have to ramble about the bite scene—I just can’t resist! xD I feel so silly because I’m new here, while these things have probably been discussed a billion times already. But how shocking and terrifying must it have been for Astarion to encounter someone who was genuinely well-disposed toward him? How fake and scary it must have seemed. It can’t be real, right? After all, he’s a monster; after all, he has nothing to offer; after all, he doesn’t deserve anything. Because he’s worth nothing. Surely, there’s a catch, a price to pay for this sudden kindness. It can’t be luck—he’s never had any. If I let my guard down, something terrible is bound to happen to me.

And yet, that person, after 200 years of hunger, feeds him without asking for anything in return. With real "food." The first gift and glimpse of happiness in so long.

Even more, because that person trusts the monster. They offer their neck within reach of his fangs, despite the very real risks (since Astarion could genuinely lose control and take it too far), and the next morning, they even defend him from the suspicious companions! I imagine Astarion in the forest after his swaggering exit, with a trickle of blood running down his mouth and a satisfied look on his face... only to get just out of sight and start sprinting like mad before diving into the first bush he can find, curling up with his hands in his hair, thinking, What the hell just happened?! Am I dreaming? Oh gods, what now?! What happens tomorrow morning? Are they really that stupid, or are they messing with me? Meanwhile, the local squirrel pelts him with acorns.

Forget “I need something more filling!” Forget “attempted tooth-assisted assault (Really?!?!).” Forget “oh, I conned a sucker and now I’m full!” Am I the only one who imagines him freaking out in that bush?

[onenicebugperday]

a few days ago my friend pointed out a bug on the ground so i crouched down to look at it and it was an acorn weevil!!!! i got so excited and i let it crawl on my hands for a little bit and i was just so fascinated and captivated by this little guy cause i don’t remember ever seeing a weevil in real life before and i love them so much!!! its little walk and its long snout and its round little body and its sweet round eyes were all just so delightful and i hope it lives a nice happy life just doing its thing cause it made me so happy to see it!

Nut weevils make me absolutely insane with joy so I understand your feelings! Let's admire one

Get a load of that snoot!

(Large chestnut weevil by edporopat)

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

Pumpkin Patch Lovin' 🎃

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Just a little short 'n sweet Fall-themed fluff with our favorite boy <3

Disclaimer; I have never in my life been to a Pumkin Patch, this is all made up.

The order is here -> 🎂

When you visit a pumpkin patch with Johnny, he realizes what true love looks like and how it has always looked like you. You assure all his doubts and make that he knows that he's wanted.

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"Ah. Nothin' like a crisp fall day, eh, bonnie?" Johnny smiled, hands propped up on his hips as he took in the stretching fields of orange pumpkins.

From auburn to apricot, and even cream and shades of yellow, all colors were represented. You'd begged to experience a pumpkin patch once in your life, and how could he ever say no to you?

"Ya, yayayayaya, let's go!" You squealed, grabbing the sleeve of his jacket and dragging him with you to the entrance.

He stumbled and almost fell, cursing under his breath.

"Don't go knockin' me over, lass!" Johnny laughed.

You were all dressed up for the occasion; a nice burnt orange sweater and you even had a pumpkin hair clip! You fit in perfectly.

You couldn't hold in your excitement anymore at the sight of haybales, stalks of corn with colorful shimmering kernels and bunches of wheat. There were garlands of fall leaves with acorns and pinecones, and a variety of fall flowers.

A small tent had been set up, wooden benches and tables shielded from the unpredictable fall weather. They sold all kinds of delicious smelling goodies. From savory to sweet, tart to sour and everything in between.

You couldn't wait to eat your way through all the stalls after having picked out some pumpkins with Johnny. He couldn't help but admire your eyes shining with exctiment and unbridled joy.

Something he hadn't seen nor felt in a while. It was so... pure, in a way. You were protected from all the things he had seen, and yet you still loved him all the same. You loved the broken parts, the parts he hid from everyone else and replaced with his humor and jokes.

Come to think of it, he hadn't really known what love felt like -real, wholehearted love- until he met you. You brought light into his life, your light, and he could always rely on you to guide his path through the thorny bramble that was the cruel world of his mind.

Your hand was tightly grasped on his as you marveled at all the new and exciting things at the pumpkin patch.

"You have no idea how thrilled I am to do this- and especially to do it with you!" You rambled, eyes flitting over all the different shapes and sizes of various species of pumpkins.

Johnny's breath caught in his throat and he could've sworn his heart jumped out of his ribcage. How you were able to confess such a heartfelt and important thing like it was no big deal amazed him.

Because to him, it was a big deal. The biggest deal, actually. It wasn't like he was disliked on Base, but no one had ever said that.

He knew that his comrades and his friends from the Taskforce liked having him around, he was the life of the party! But sometimes he felt out of place.

Like he was too much and not enough at the same time.

So to hear you say how excited you were to do something with him, and that he was the main event made him want to cry and smile and sob. Sure, he was maybe only second to the pumpkins but that's something he could live with.

Still, he wanted to know more.

"Why does it matter if yer doin' it with me or no'?" He asked, quirking a brow at you, full of curiosity.

At his question you stopped in your tracks and pulled him out of the foot traffic.

"Well, because you're my boyfriend, duh!" You laughed.

"No other reason, eh?" He chuckled dryly.

It sounded like you were stuck with him.

"And I just really like hanging out with you. Actually- I just really like you, Johnny." You shrugged with a smile.

His expression softened, and his doubts slowly fizzled away.

"Ah know tha' ya love me, hen." He replied softly, pulling you into his side and pressing a kiss to your temple.

You giggled and gently pried yourself from his embrace.

"Of course I love you, but liking and loving are different, I think. " You explained.

Johnny eyed you.

"How so?"

"I mean, you can definitely love someone but not really like them, you know? For example; there are couples who very obviously love each other, it's hard to miss. But the closer you look the more you realize they don't actually like one another."

He listened intently, humming along.

"Then wha' does both look like?" He questioned, tilting his head.

"Us." You smiled softly.

"I love you so so so much and I know you love me the same but we also like eachother. At least I do! You're not just my boyfriend, you're also my best friend. And believe me, there are many relationships where that's not the case." You chuckled.

Johnny looked and felt like he was about to burst into tears of joy. You were a one hell of a woman and he couldn't believe his luck.

Here you were, affirming your love for him and fighting any bad thoughts and doubts in the middle of a goddamn pumpkin patch.

"You're ma best friend, too, mo leannan. Ah wouldnae have done this with anyone else." He said with a soft smile, pulling you into a sweet hug.

"I know what's going on in that brain of yours. But please remember that I wouldn't be with you if I didn't want to be, okay?" You whispered sincerely, pressing a kiss to his cheek while he nodded into the crook of your neck.

Johnny sniffled quietly and went to pull away but you clung to him tightly, burying your fingers in his jacket.

"Want a wee more lovin', eh?" He chuckled, taking you back into his arms.

"Yes, but also can you squeeze me really tight? I feel like I'm about to explode from excitment and I need to come back down to earth." You spoke, muffled with your cheek squished against his shoulder.

"Alright. One good squeeze comin' up." He announced with a grin, tightening his arms around you.

His biceps flexed around you as he held you to his chest, making sure to apply even pressure. You relaxed under the weight, sighing into his coat.

"Thank you." You said quietly as he slowly loosened his embrace around you.

"No problem at'all, lassie." He hummed, taking your hand in his.

"Now, pumpkins!" You announced loudly, storming off into the rows and rows of orange fruit with a cackling Johnny in tow.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

It had gotten dark, the air cold as the day went by. The Pumpkin Patch was lit up by torches and fairy lights, giving the whole establishment a cozy glow.

You were seated in the tent with Johnny, happily munching on whatever bizarre pumpkin flavored treat you had picked out.

You were talking and talking, barely eating, really, only suggestion ideas on how to carve your pumpkin and that one funny story from when you were a kid and your jack-o-latern got stolen.

Johnny listened carefully, a steady smile on his face. You changed it all for him. He always thought he knew love and that it would be a certain way. Some said it was simple, black and white.

Others spoke of hot red fire, saying it was addicting but dangerous. But, in reality, everyone's love looked different. It was an ever changing thing. It always had changed and it always will change for as long as humans are able to love.

And when Johnny thought of love, he saw you. He saw how you brought daylight into his life that seemed to be cursed to eternal darkness. He could finally see, thanks to you. When he thought of love, it was golden.

Golden like the twinkle in your eye.

Golden like the sound of your heartfelt laughter.

Golden like the gentle words and touches that you held just for him.

Golden like your soft hands that held his heart.

Golden like the ring he would put on your finger very soon.

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I hope you enjoyed 😚

More Johnny and others -> 💫

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