#and I wish I could do more then just protest or throw money it’s way and hope it turns out

[echoed-evenings]

I don’t know which is worse, the fact that thousands of people are about to be and currently being murdered or the fact that I can’t do anything about it

[st4rrth0ughts]

There's not enough sub!Sampo out there thank you for writing it <3 I just want to put him in a mating press and breed him. Maybe be his sugar daddy and make him wear slutty outfits. He's a whore (affectionatly)

a/n :aghsshsk anon you read my mind holy shit (+ tw, sampo being a little shit) [edit, sorry for the long ass wait, anon, i lost motivation T-T

Sampo being fucked silly by sugar daddy reader. 💎💚

Its a match made in heaven, whether the unspoken feelings between you two went unsaid or not. You wanted company, and had too much money for yourself to spend alone. Sampo was more than willing to be the one for you to dote on. Its pretty nice, coffee dates, spoling your purple haired sweetheart, you could say that the cunning man knew the effect he had on you. But sometimes, he steps out of line, flirting with other people, even he needs some punishment.

You knew Sampo was probably doing this just to get on your nerves. Its no secret that he's always turned on by you manhandling him in the bedroom like he was a toy. Perhaps the last straw for you was when he sent you photos while you were at work, with your pretty sugar baby in a outfit that made your cock bulge embarrassingly large in your pants. He was making a lewd face at the camera, a vibrator shoved into his pussy with the caption, wish it was you inside me, sweetheart <33. When you get home, he's protesting as you drag and lock him in the bedroom, but the glint in his eyes tell you that he knew damn well this would happen.

Fuck him in that outfit he was wearing earlier, tears pricking his eyes as you stuff the vibrator into his cunt, turning it at max speed while he whimpers and begs you to have mercy on him, saying he'll be your good boy. Well, too late for that, you think as he throws his head back, squirting hard around the toy, as you gently coo and let it continue to overstimulate him, fingers finding their way to trace over his nub, making him arch against the bed like a cat in heat. His eyes are wide open as he throws his head back, his arms restrained by the handcuffs bounding him to the bed post.

Reaching down and burying your face into his cunt, your tongue plunging into his cushy walls, making him squeal and pull agaisnt his restraints so hard its bruising his wrists. Despite all that, he's still being a good boy and keeping his legs open for you to ravish him, and your all too happy to oblige. Stuffing another finger into his pussy as you find spots so deep in him the thief is seeing stars as he bucks his hips into the air. He lets out a pretty wail when you shove your length into him at one go, his stomach bulging from the sheer size of you, which is something he'll never get used to.

Fondle his tits as your cock pounds into him from behind as he arches his back harshly, he’ll claw at the sheets, your back, your arms, but it’s futile as your hands maintain their grip on his waist, your mouth and soft lips roaming over his neck. His cunt is dripping while his head lolls back, dazed eyes looking back at you. lifting him up from the bed as your hands hold him, his legs dangling over the ground limply as your cock hits all the right spots deep in him, his cum leaking around you and forming a small pool on the carpet, his hands trying to claw at your arms as he whines out for you to stop, only to cry softly when you actually do show signs of slowing down, stuffing two fingers down his throat to muffle him as he’s left midair being fucked silly by you.

Getting him into a mating press while he panics slightly at how deep you push into him, your cock fits so much nicer like this, and he shrieks when you start to fuck his cervix. His hands held above him in a firm grasp as he tries to struggle away from you, begging for a break as your length splits him open again, loud wails and sobs filling the room as his knees are folded to his chest, aeons, he can feel you fucking his cervix so harshly that the bed is creaking from your movements. he comes undone with a sharp moan, his body laying limp against the pillow, but oh dear, your not done with him. Your sure he can handle just a few more rounds for his daddy, cant he?

[klausysworld]

can you make a fluffy klaus imagine where he takes reader on a shopping trip to designer stores and spoils her and the reader sheepishly tells him that he doesnt have to do so much which makes him spoil her more thx

I enjoy spoiling you

Klaus has been encouraging me to pick out as many different outfits as possible. Since we had been together he was nothing but eager to throw his money at me but I wasn’t exactly used to this kind of spending and the price tags were making me feel sick.

I nervously checked how much the little sundress that had caught my eye was. My lips parted in surprise, i could get the exact same looking dress for £12 in a different shop. I quickly walked away back to Klaus, his arm circling me instantly and pulling me close

“Did you find something you like?” He asked softly with a smile and i shook my head timidly

“I don’t think i need anything else, we’ve already gotten loads” i told him glancing at the man who was carrying our things, apparently it was his job and Klaus would be paying him

“Sweetheart you’ve barely chosen anything, remember you can pick anything you like, formal, casual, you can get some pyjamas too?” His voice was encouraging and i felt silly, like a child. He must’ve noticed my frown as he took my face in his hands

“I want you to be happy and comfortable love, i enjoy spoiling you, i never know what to spend my money on, let me buy you something to make you smile” he kissed my lips gently before pulling away and petting my hair

“Klaus, i like that you want me to be happy but i can be comfy in much cheaper clothes- even if it’s just a but cheaper! But please don’t spend a ridiculous amount on a summer dress” I practically begged and he glanced over my shoulder

“That one over there?” He asked and I followed his eye line and nodded reluctantly. Straight away i was being pulled to where it was, his arm around my waist nearly dragging me as I protested that i didn’t want it. He checked the price and picked it up passing it to the man for the ‘buying’ pile

“Klaus-“

“Hush love let me” he muttered and kissed me again to silence me

“But-“

“You’ll look gorgeous in your new outfits” he whispered

“Can we go home now?” I asked shyly

“Without accessories? Of course not love, Rebekah may scream. Now tell me would you rather be shopping with me or my sister?” I blinked at him for a second. Rebekah would have me trying everything on and buying the entire shop

“You…” I uttered and he nodded

“Exactly, now come we have many other shops in this area, we can drive anywhere you’d like” his eyes were hopeful and i nodded slowly

“Okay but this can’t be a regular thing” he grinned like the cheshire cat and hurried me to the till

“Special occasions- an average Tuesday whatever you like, for today just see what you like and you can have it”

I found myself smiling at him as he brought me to the many jewellery shops, i managed to convince him to try on a range of brightly coloured necklaces- tiaras and such. Eventually we got home and i collapsed on his bed with a groan

“My feet hurt” I muttered and he breathed a laugh as he slid my shoes off for me

“How about we try the new bath salts we bought? Then you can get into your fluffy clothes” he lifted me up as he dug through one of the bags to grab the salts

“We didn’t buy anything, it was all you” I reminded

“My money is your money now my love, that is why you have this-“ he tucked a black card into my hand and i gaped up at him, still held bridal style in his arms

“No-“

“Yes”

“But-“

“But yes”

“What if-“

“Just say yes” he breathed with a toothy grin

“I’ll just say okay and slip it back to you later” i mumbled and he growled in his throat

“I can be very creative in ways i get you to accept this” he whispered to my ear and a shiver ran down my spine

“Is that a threat?” I asked and he hummed

“Don’t worry love, it’s one you will most certainly enjoy”

(Wish he would shower me in money ngl)

[herofics]

Friend taking advantage, feat Dabi

A/N: I think I’ve done some bad/toxic-ish friend stuff before which you can find here, but I’ve been feeling like this recently so I wanted to vent. I haven’t written for Dabi in a while so I picked him, also I kinda need his brand of jackass attitude for this. I wrote this as platonic but take it how you will

“Oh my fucking god!” you groaned loudly, throwing one of the pillows from the couch towards the kitchen entrance way.

“What the hell?” Dabi exclaimed as he caught the pillow and threw it back at you. “I almost spilled my damn drink”

“Sorry” you muttered, looking at your phone with an irritated expression.

“Who pissed in your cereal this morning? You look annoyed” Dabi noted as he sat down at the other end of the couch.

“It’s my bff, or at least she’s supposed to be”

“Is this the bitch who keeps askin you for money all the time?”

“Yeah, but I wish you wouldn’t call her that” you sighed

“What’d she do this time?” he asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“After I moved here, she stayed in our hometown. She keeps guilting me about “leaving her” as if I did it just to leave her and not because I got into school here. It’s honestly driving me fucking insane” you threw your phone on the couch between you and Dabi.

“That sounds like a bitch move on her part, so I think callin her a bitch is justified” Dabi shrugged.

“And like, I go to my mom’s every now and then, which is like 45 minutes away from where she lives, and she still doesn’t come visit unless I pay her gas money. It’s like I have to buy her time if I even want to see her. Plus, the last time I was at my mom’s place, she was way more excited about seeing my mom’s new dog than about seeing me, even though we hadn’t seen each other in months” you huffed, leaning back on the couch.

“As I said, bitch move” Dabi burped

“Thanks for your support I guess” you rolled your eyes.

“You don’t need my support, you need to vent, and I’m listenin aren’t I?”

“Well yeah, but-”

“So keep talkin” Dabi cut you off.

“Fine. You know I’m bad at saying no to people, so pretty much every time she asks me for money, I give it to her, even if I’m not in a super good situation myself. She also kind of abuses that, because she knows I’ll pay for stuff so she’ll spend time with me. I feel like I’m pathetic, but she’s my only friend aside from you, and I don’t want to lose her. We’ve been friends for almost 18 years, so it’s hard to even think about letting go, even if it would be for my benefit”

“So basically, your friend is takin advantage of you, and you just plan on lettin her, even though you knew you shouldn’t?” Dabi groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m gonna get a headache from your idiocy”

“Are you calling me an idiot?” you asked, feigning offense

“No, but you’re bein dumb as hell right now” Dabi ruffled your hair, just to be annoying.

“Hey, don’t be an asshole” you protested with a smirk, trying to push his hand away.

“Ain’t that like a definin personality trait of mine though?” he asked, giving up on messing with your hair.

“Well yeah, but I wish you’d aim it at someone else” you rolled your eyes.

“There’s no one else around, so… or do you want me to go give your bff a piece of my mind?”

“No, it’s between me and her, so I think I need to be the one to talk to her” you sighed. “And I think if you talked to her, she might get on your nerves and end up a pile of ash”

“Eh, maybe” Dabi shrugged.

“Thanks for listening and only being a little bit of a jackass about it” you smiled.

“Well I’m mostly here for your drinks and to hide from the cops but-”

“And there’s that asshole of a villain I know” you cut him off and smacked the side of his thigh.

“I do have a reputation to uphold, you know” Dabi grinned.

You just rolled your eyes, but you were still smiling. He was a total asshole sometimes, but he could still be helpful too.

[captain-mj]

Well since the new Horangi skin came out now and twitter is going feral over it- how about some Eldritch!König and Monster Horangi?

Otherwise I will steal your rips (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

I have been WAITING for this. I have been goddamn WAITING!!!

Also, I'm sorry guys, I can't keep doing the ö.... My German friend has informed me the oe is fine so that's what I'm using

Horangi drew all of the symbols on to the floor, kneeling down in the middle of the circle. He cupped his palms together and raised them slowly. Unlike other invokers, he did not speak the words, just prayed silently before slicing his hand. Blood dripped into the sigils and spread slowly. His blood darkened before lightening, making a gorgeous color.

"I summon a creature from the deep. I need assistance." Horangi finally spoke, feeling a presence. He didn't need a big creature to do this. Just anything from the deep would work.

"Hello summoner." The voice crackled and fizzed. It was hard to actually make out the words but Horangi had experience.

"I have a request. May I first know your name?"

"Koenig." It growled, the voice vibrating the walls.

Oh.

Oh no.

Horangi refused to feel fear, but this was a problem. While Koenig was not a violent being, or a particularly sadistic one, he was known for being powerful. A king as his name sake suggested. It was foolish of Horangi to not specify a name, but he hadn't exactly expected the King of the Deep to answer a lowly summoners call.

"Hong-jin, correct?"

"I prefer Horangi." His name was not something Horangi like throwing around and the fact that this creature knew so easily... It unsettled him.

Koenig moved closer, clearly behind him. "Horangi." His voice. It made something in Horangi weak. Something, probably fear, told him to run far away, but he knew better. That would make him prey and he didn't want to know what the King does to prey.

Breath, definitely not real because such creatures did not need to breath, erupted on his neck. "Tell me, Horangi. What do you want?"

"I've... fallen into debt. I want enough money to get myself out of it." Horangi shivered as Koenig started to lift more. He clearly towered over him.

"You wish to be debt free." Koenig repeated.

"Yes. I can offer my service. Blood. If you crave death, I can give you that."

Koenig hummed and the walls vibrated. Horangi's body had a visceral reaction. His hands raised to cover his own ears but he stopped them, not wanting to offend.

"I don't want any of that."

"What do you want? I will try to procure it." Horangi had almost nothing else to offer.

"Easy. Your body."

Horangi hesitated. "I appreciate that you answered my call. But I do not want to be devoured at this time, thank you." He went to dismiss him.

Koenig grabbed him. His hands were huge, easily wrapping around his waist with his fingers touching. He laughed and Horangi was surprised that it didn't hurt. A warm liquid sensation filled his veins in response to the sound.

"My tiger, my little summoner. I am sure you would taste very sweet, but I am not interested in tasting you that way. It has been a while since I..." His hands gently slid under Horangi's shirt. He sounded... shy?

The great King of the goddamn Deep. Shy. By... him?

It hit him suddenly. "You want..."

"The carnal pleasures, yes."

Horangi laughed, almost hysterically. Koenig started to pull away. "Wait, no. I... Yes. I will. If you promise to free me of my debt, you can... use me. I only ask you don't drive me insane or kill me."

The hands squeezed him gently before pulling Horangi's shirt off gently. "I will do my best."

Horangi went to protest but Koenig grabbed him before he could get anything out. He was turned around and lifted, his legs set on something that seemed to be... approximately shoulders. It meant he was close to the King's mouth and that was more pressing.

His form hurt Horangi's eyes. There was a writhing mass of tentacles in a shape that looked like a mockery of humans. It didn't make sense. His mouth was too big for his face with so many teeth. His tongue ran along Horangi's inner thighs. It felt both cold and hot. It cut into his skin like razor blades and the saliva that dripped from his tongue made the skin it touched feel even more sensitive.

Horangi couldn't help but struggle. He was so far off the ground and it hurt. Tentacles wrapped around him immediately, keeping him locked into place. His hands went above his head and his legs were spread as far as they could. The slick from them had the same effect, making his skin feel so sensitive. Pleasure started to barrage his nerves and Horangi felt himself relaxing into it. The deal had been struck and he found himself start to enjoy this.

His blood started to run from where Koenig had licked him. He kissed the wound gently, his lips much softer. A tentacle rather gently asked for entrance to his mouth, so he opened it, letting the tentacle go down his throat. He didn't gag and he tried not to think about what Koenig was doing to him to make that happen.

Something that felt like a hand grabbed him and gently started to rub at his hole. He whimpered and one of the tentacles wrapped around his dick. It held him tightly and stroked him, adding more pleasure to the already intense feeling. An appendage finally entered him, spreading him open. It stretched him until he thought he'd break. He didn't know how deep it went but every drag or thrust had his eyes rolling back in his head.

More slick filled him, flowing down his thighs. His nerves set on fire as it did. Whatever soaked into his skin did... something. Every touch, no matter where it was, sent pleasure shooting up his spine. The slightest brush against his spine had his back arching and legs shaking. It was too much, overwhelming and yet he didn't feel himself getting any closer to release. That may have been a good thing, since he had no clue when Koenig would be done with him.

His teeth pressed against the tentacle in his mouth and it was ripped out of him.

Large eyes opened in front of him. "No teeth!"

"What are you... You're doing..."

"Yes, I'm manipulating you. Getting rid of that nasty gag reflex, getting rid of most of the pain, making it feel more intense. I'm a God and you're a plaything." Koenig said it like he was amused Horangi didn't assume it. "I'll put you back together when I'm done." The tentacle shoved back in to him. "Now no more teeth."

Horangi reluctantly melted back into the feeling. Slowly, achingly slowly, he felt himself adjust, the pleasure clouding his mind. He pressed against the tentacle thrusting into him. It slipped further into him and he moaned, licking at the one still in his mouth. Another one started to poke at his hole and he immediately started to wiggle, not sure it could fit.

It did. He screamed the entire time as Koenig did not dull this feeling, but the pain didn't deter him as much as it should. The two currently inside him moved in tandem, clearly trying to prepare him. Tears streamed down his face as more slick ran down his legs. Part of him hoped they didn't find his prostate because he wasn't sure he could handle the abuse they would no doubt inflict on it. The tongue, luckily not as sharp feeling, ran along the scars on his face.

"Did they inflict these, my little tiger?" His mouth moved down, sinfully soft but mindbreakingly hard. The contradiction of his very being made him both recoil and press into him. It sucked hickeys into his skin and licked roughly over his chest. He should be close, he knew he should, but he wasn't. It was a special type of edging and he didn't know how to handle any of this.

They all left him. All of the tentacles moving away to leave him empty. Even the one that had been stroking him disappeared.

"No, please." Horangi had never heard himself so desperate or so wrecked. His hole clenched on nothing and he was sure if Koenig set him down and left, he'd never recover.

Koenig pulled him closer but covered his eyes. "You asked I don't drive you insane. I believe its best you don't see me right now. You've... I can't focus enough like this to make myself palatable for you. I am sorry."

Horangi just shook his head. "please... Please..."

"Shush now. Don't think too hard about this, understood?"

Horangi did not understand but he nodded desperately. The flesh he was on was ice cold, but it made his skin feel warm. It pressed against him firmly to keep him in place. Something pressed to him and he realized what Koenig meant by don't think too hard.

It was too big. Far, far too big. Fuck that fact that it didn't make sense and seemed to writhe slightly, it wouldn't fit.

Horangi felt his mind clear as if it was a whiteboard that Koenig cleaned for him. Gently, because Koenig truly did not want to hurt him, he pulled him down.

He wailed. Pain and impossible pleasure ran through him and none of the sensations he felt made sense. He felt the pressure around Koenig's cock like he felt it breaking his body. He felt the hands running up and down his spine just as he felt the warm flesh of his own back under his hands. Horangi collapsed into Koenig, digging his hands into flesh that made no sense.

He finally felt himself get closer to release. Every time he tried to think of anything other than the dizzying sensations, Koenig would gently pull his thoughts back to him. If he thought this would protect Horangi's sanity, he was sorely mistaken. The invoker sobbed and whined desperately, unable to do more than take and take and take.

Koenig forced his head up off his chest and kissed him sweetly. He let Horangi come on him but didn't let him come down, forcing him to stay at the peak of his orgasm until Koenig finished.

Horangi clenched around him over and over again, sanity starting to singe at the edges. Just as he was about to plunge into madness, Koenig came and let him come down.

It felt like warmth and nothing else. Then, Horangi was empty again, being cradled. Something pressed against his mouth and he opened it slowly, feeling something be pushed into hit.

"Eat. It's human food, do not worry."

Horangi did as told, slowly chewing. Grapes, he was pretty sure. He swallowed, pre expecting for it to hurt. There was no sensation. Carefully, he moved his legs and then tensed his abdomen. No soreness. No hint of pain. Not even the sensation of wetness from the slick and cum.

"Like I said, I put you back together." Very human hands and a very human body continued to cradle him as he came back.

"Is it safe to open my eyes?"

"Yes."

Horangi did, looking into the same eyes as before, just human sized. A gorgeous blue. He wore a hood that covered his face and he was still rather large, but very human like. Convincing if Horangi didn't know better.

"Thank you."

"Of course, liebling." Koenig's hands patted over him almost professionally before he nodded. "You are fixed. I shall hold up my end of the bargain and clear you of your debt."

He grabbed Horangi's hands and although he saw them, he saw that they went no where near Koenig's mouth, he felt the sensation of his knuckles being kissed still.

"If you ever need me again, I shall ask for the same thing."

"What if I only want the sex?" Horangi stared at him.

Koenig looked shy again. "Little Gemahlin. You humans never learn." He disappeared completely, leaving Horangi gently laid on the floor.

Horangi did the normal sanity tests Invokers used. He counted to make sure he had no forbidden knowledge. Spoke aloud to make sure nothing appeared. Went through the experience bit by bit to make sure that he had left nothing to interpretation.

He hoped by specifying money early on in the conversation, Koenig would not catch on to his little slip of just saying debt free. He then thought of what he called him. Gemahlin. It sounded familiar, but Horangi couldn't place it.

He waved his hands and one of his books appeared in front of him. It took him a few minutes to find what he was looking for.

Gemahlin: Consort or wife. Usually used by high priestesses to declare their dedication to lesser creatures.

Oh.

Oh no.

[sweetteaandpie]

it's friday night and my niles/cc headcanon wants to come out and play. i can't get these two out of my head.

i imagine they're still married 25 years later, both of them with silver hair and dressed impeccably. when they married, some of cc's upper-crustiness rubbed off on niles, but only in a superficial way. she still wears chanel, dior, givenchy, versace, and looks sharp in her skirts and pantsuits with jewellery. niles' wardrobe is more or less the same except more expensive. i imagine he is recovering from hip replacement surgery, which fran contributes to niles' inability to keep his hands off his wife. he doesn't refute this, but he does tell her that cc gives as good as she gets. fran tells him he doesn't need to paint a picture.

cc and niles are back in new york, having hated california. they moved back just before becoming parents to identical twin girls. they wrote their own joke when they came out as brunettes, and their mother had to pretend not to know where the brunette genes came from. it is niles' longest running joke and even the twins, who are now 24, occasionally like to tell people they have "mummy's hair."

the twins are quite unlike their parents and cc blames this fact on the "hippie forest school" niles insisted on sending them for their elementary education where she claims they learned to tie-dye before learning to read. cc had wanted a prep school, but niles insisted on a waldorf education. cc eventually gave in, partly because niles was very convincing with his mouth and hands, and partly because deep down, she was miserable and alone in her own educational experience. she did wish niles had found a better compromise, rolling her eyes when the parents' orientation at the twins' school provided a vegan, gluten-free (and booze-free *gasp*) spread. she threatened her husband and threw him her best glares, but he promised to do that thing she really liked in the hot tub that night, so she let it be.

the twins grew and their parents doted on them, even and especially their mother. and they absolutely adored her. they think she is so funny, even though she isn't trying to be. twin #1 is a pansexual vegan in law school who once chained herself to a tree to protest cutting down the rainforest. cc was upset that her "lesbian" daughter wouldn't let her throw a coming out party and niles had to run interference. she had pouted about it for weeks, even saying she didn't mind twin #1 was vegan. coming out parties are so passé, twin #1 claimed. niles reminded cc that twin #1 was going to law school so she could defend her mother against future lawsuits from terrified choreographers, thus saving her money. niles reminded twin #1 of the 33-hour labour her mother was in to have her and her sister...and the drugs wore off during delivery. twin #1 offered to have a low key celebration at home where her parents could celebrate their "lesbian" daughter. "pansexual, mummy!" twin #1 would exclaim exasperatedly with a shadow of a smile on her mouth.

twin #2 attended her mother's alma mater, bryn mawr, but ended up being a yoga teacher-reiki master-massage therapist-ukulele teacher. she's currently taking a herbalism course and experimenting with aquaponics. she lives in a queer collective in brooklyn, sharing a house with 7 other people. cc keeps trying to give her money, but twin #2 is adament about making her own way. she did a couple of years in the peace corps, where she picked up an interest and talent for survival skills. she met bear grylls once and it was the highlight of her year.

though cc loves her family, she still finds great pleasure in terrifying chorus boys and making choreographers cry. she has headed her own production company since returning to new york after the very brief stint in california. she has been on countless magazine covers, has done dozens of interviews, received a gracie award and a few tonys (more than maxwell), as well as is a frequent guest lecturer for NYU theatre classes, putting the fear of god in all the students. she has good instincts and brains and broadway has taken notice. when maxwell moved back to new york from california a few years after leaving, he wanted to merge his company with cc's and bring her back onboard. she said no.

niles has become a writer. since marrying the love of his life, his writing has been described by critics as truly beautiful, inspirational, and creative. he writes plays and has a column in the new york times called "are you being served?" (pun intended). a few years back, he wrote a book of poetry under a pseudonym and it was a best seller. it made the new york times' best seller list for four months straight. reviews called it "erotic," a "love story for the ages," and a "gorgeous love letter."

it was all about cc.

fran read it and told him cc was a lucky lady. he'd responded that he was the lucky one.

they still throw zingers at one another, and the twins have come to appreciate a particularly good one, but they largely stay out of it. in high school, when going through a particularly difficult phase of behavioural challenges, they experimented with throwing them at their parents. however, their parents, being pros, ate them up and spit them out, making the twins wish they hadn't even bothered.

cc is currently taking some time off to help niles do rehab for his new "magical hip."

"baby, does this make me old?" he asked her, feeling self-conscious of the walker he temporarily uses to get around due to his hip replacement surgery.

"yes, but you've been old for 40 years, so this is nothing new."

"my hip is new."

"maybe i should get something new to go with it."

"you could use a facelift," he deadpanned. "sorry. old habits."

she leaned over and gave him a loving kiss, making promises of all the things they're going to do once he's healed

that's all for tonight, but they live rent-free in my head, so there's bound to be more.

[yourkimjaejin]

I Care

"I'm gonna kill the company." Haechan's eyes followed his fellow members figure as she paced back and forth in the living room of his home. Juno had stormed into his house a mere thirty minutes after he texted her about packing for the airport.

The woman marched through his front door, threw her purse down and had been plotting the downfall of SM ever since.

"You can't kill a company Juno."

"Then I'll get someone to buy it."

"Do you even know anyone with enough money to buy SM as a whole?"

"Have you met Chenle?" She paused her pacing to look at Donghyuck incredulously.

"I love Chenle just like everyone else. Unfortunately, He does not have enough money to buy out the company." Juno began to throw a mini tantrum, whining and stomping her feet. Haechan had to cover his smiling face with his hand. It was impossible not to find cute. Minutes later, Juno flopped down on the couch crossing her arms with a pout while Donghyuck continued to pack his bag.

He went back to his room to get his latest clothing obesseion, his loewe beanie, only to see the women now laying across his luggage case in protest. Haechan walk over to stand over Juno, trying and failing to look stern.

"You have to let me pack."

"You need to rest."

"I feel better."

"NOT ENOUGH FOR ME!" Juno sat up, eyes sharp in anger but they quickly turned sad. She walked over to the window looking over the Korea skyline.

Juno was so worried when the news came out about Haechan being sick. The signer was halfway booking a fight until Thea called to give her the rundown. The talk with AG's leader stopped her from flying out to 127's location but it didn't stop her worry. After Haechan told her he'd be flying back to Korea, she forced one of the managers to take her to the airport and pick the sick man up.

Mama Lee and Juno had been tag teaming, getting Donghyuck to do nothing but sleep, eat and drink water. Day's later, their hard word paid off. Donghyuck was better. His fever went down, his throat wasn't as scratchy but it still hurt when he swallowed.

Someone should have told SM the better didn't mean best.

Juno let out a deep sigh. Wishing there was a way to get the company off the younger's back so he can rest, properly.

Haechan made his way to her side, wrapping an arm around her waist and bringing her close. Haechan may have indulged a bit and placed a soft kiss on the side of her forehead.

"It's just a fansign. I won't be doing anything else."

Juno sighed, "A fansign which leads to a performance. Which leads to practices for dream then SM just takes advantage of you again and works you until your sick...again." She turns around in his hold to face him, "You need rest to get better. You can't keep getting to 70 percent then go on about your day." Haechan could tell the singer was serious about this. Serious about him taking care of himself. But its hard when it feels like your success as an idol is reliant on you being present twenty-four seven.

Donghyuck somehow pulled her closer, resting his head against hers. The pair stayed that way for awhile, pausing the world until its just the two of them. Juno wanted to fight more. Storm into the company and force them to let Donghyuck rest but she didn't have that kind of power. Not yet anyway.

She also knew her fellow singer found it hard to sit in one place for more than a day. The younger confessing that having her close made the time pass quicker. Made him feel less lonely. If that's the least Juno can do, she'd do it.

"Wanna help me finish packing?"

"....fine. I'll be making sure you dont forget an ounce of your medcine. Mama Lee's orders."

"Of course! Wouldn"t wanted to disrespect Mama Lee."

The rest of the night was spent folding clothes in comfortable slience.

And if Juno force fed him his medicine right before he got out of car the next day....nobody needed to know.

[theangiediary]

omg Angie that was exactly what i meant and i loved it! I also adore Lebanon's favourite "are they?aren't they?" couple and imagining samdean co-parenting is such a delight. "If the baby looked like Sam, Dean would have like 12 disorders" got a laugh but it's so true i don't know how he'd handle it. It's similarly what makes me also like the idea of Dean having to deal with a deaged Sam just to see how gobsmacked he'd be. (Also those mommy recs? For a friend? 👀)

1. Oh good I’m glad it resonated! Truly, Dean would be against those baby chest carriers until the little guy was born, and then he’d not only constantly be wearing him strapped in, he’d also have one arm wrapped around at all times. Also that baby would not have a nursery, Dean would put the crib in their bedroom so he could be as close as possible, sit on the rocking chair at night just staring (Sam gets it, at least enough not to press the issue).

2. About A Boy with deaged Sammy: they’d have to end the show right there! Dean would run off into the night with itty Sammy, let some other hunter deal with the missing people. (/hj, I don’t actually remember what their relationship was like prior to that ep, all I know is it was VERY funny to me that they had a solution to the mark but Sam was like 🥺 “I am not baby?? no more Big Bro? Unacceptable.”  

3. Fic Recs

Haha, well! So many flavors... I’m throwing a huge mixed bag here, read what sounds interesting, skip what doesn’t.

Vice and Wish by thatsakitkat (incomplete, ABO A!Sam/O!Dean, 42k)

One of my all time favorites. It’s a little OOC, but Sam’s uh, canonical entitlement toward Dean/Dean’s body and resources is so so sexy. Cockblocking him, spending his money, joining him in Dean’s subconscious against Dean’s protests. Spn was allergic to having a consistent stance on souls, but if you largely view soulless!Sam as Sam without empathy, then.. Yeah. I think the Sam in this fic/universe is realistically ruthless in getting what he wants (a baby in Dean).

(Taste Every Fruit by the same author doesn’t have pregnancy, but is a lactation fic and uhh. Quite good.)

Nesting orphan_account (ABO A!John/O!Dean, 12k)

It’s been a minute since I read this, but I remember it being sweet, in a conservative fantasy way. Stanford era. Forced retirement. Small town. Also slightly OOC but like above, comes with the universe.

homebody by hellhoundsprey (ABO A!Jared/O!Jensen (background Jared/Ruth and Jensen/Tahmoh, 18k)

Listen, if you’re hesitant about rpf, this author writes it very much “vaguely inspired by the PR personsona of X”. People have been fantasizing about celebrities forever, heck, the SPN cast joke about rpf at cons. 

Anyway. Great fic. Darling sex kitten/tease and “Trying to be good” dynamic.

Share the Spoils Ch 2 by vintagedean (Fem!Dean/Sam, 2k)

Recently published, Deanna finding out if she’s pregnant and what she and Sam can do if that’s the case. Pushy teen Sam, distracted Deanna. "John's looming shadow" deserves its own character tag.

the need to choose by deadlybride (Hal!Dean/Sam, 3k)

Canon (post s7) divergence. The author has this halman universe which is similar to ABO but not quite; Dean’s something like an omega but not ✨feminine 👧🌷. Still, one of the things that the author does is realistic sex descriptions/pretty explicit naming of body parts: Dean has a clit, cervix, etc. Explores what having a baby would mean for them, in the context of SPN’s vessel plotlines. Sad, longing, open ended.

They Think I'm Possessed by deandatsgay (Dean/John, Dean/Sam 27k)

No pregnancy; Dean raised as Sam’s mom (thus inclusion in this list). Dark, dirty bad wrong porn. I love it.

[inscrutable-shadow]

Whumptober 2023 Day 1 - Brick to the Face

@whumptober-archive

No.1: "But now this room is spinning while I'm trying just to fill in all the gaps."

Safety Net | Swooning | "How many fingers am I holding up?"

contains: nausea (no vomiting), concussion, mild gore

also available on ao3!

“Whoa, Rhys, you okay? How many fingers am I holding up?”

Rhys’s head rang and his vision tilted as he tried and failed to sit up. He couldn’t remember how he’d ended up on the ground to begin with. One moment he’d been rushing through the forest with Landon, chasing a bounty target, and the next he was looking up at the stars through a hole in the tree canopy. “Ugh… Four? what happened?”

“She got you with these,” Landon replied, holding up a set of stone weights attached with rope. “Bolas. Lousy throw, though. Usually, you aim for the legs, but these smacked you right in the forehead. Surprised you’re still kickin’, to be honest.”

He probably wouldn’t be if he were still human. One of the good things vampirism had done to him was strengthen his body so it resisted being smashed to pieces. A thinner skull would have caved and turned his brain into mush, but he’d gotten away with just a massive headache and probably minor brain damage which would heal in a day or so if he got a blood meal. Which he still intended to do. He tried to stand for a second time and found himself once again watching the world spin above him.

“Whoa, dude, holy shit, you passed out on me. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, I just… feel sick when I stand up…” He felt sick lying down, too, actually. Had he passed out, or just fallen?

Landon frowned. “You should probably stay down, then, man. We’ll try for the Nightstalker another day. She’ll turn up again, you and I’ll get that bounty, don’t you worry.”

Rhys was having a hard time keeping his thoughts together, but one word did cut through the haze: bounty. Yes. He was a mercenary, collecting bounties was his job, how he got money and most of his hunts. He needed to finish the bounty, to catch the woman. They wanted her alive, but maybe he could drink her a little? That would fix him right up. It probably took a lot of blood for the Shadow to fix his brain. He was so hungry…

This attempt at lurching to his feet was mostly successful, though he was leaning heavily on Landon, who protested. “Hey, buddy, like I said, give it a rest. You don’t look so hot. Pretty sure I’m the only thing holding you up.”

It was true enough. Rhys’s knees had given out almost immediately, given that it took every ounce of willpower he had not to lose what little blood was still in his stomach. He panted heavily through his nose and wished the stars would leave his vision. He didn’t want to give up on this. Some of it was not wanting to look weak in front of the other mercs when Landon had to drag him back to the tavern to heal up, but mostly he just didn’t want to be shown up by a mark. The rational part of him knew what he had to do though. 

“Give… my scythe, yeah? Won’t make you carry me.” The weapon was lying discarded on the forest floor, and Landon scooped it up with his foot and pushed it into Rhys’s hands. The familiar shaft was comforting, in its own way, and he wasn’t above using it as a walking stick. He still needed Landon’s help, but this way it looked less like he’d nearly died and more like he was fine and just needed to regroup a bit.

“You’re a beast, dude. Glad I got assigned to you, huh? I’d be dead if I were out here alone!” Landon joked, trying to lighten the mood. “Come on, let’s get you back. Next time I get a lead on the Nightstalker I’ll be right at your door.”

Rhys hoped so. He knew exactly what, or rather who, he wanted his next meal to be.

taglist: @milkshakes-lust-and-chiral-dust, @albatris, @thethistlegirlwrites, @athenswrites

[elisela]

tell your secrets stallison, college au, friends to lovers day 13: secret

“Tell me a secret,” Allison says. “It feels like a good night for those.”

It’s just past midnight and uncomfortably hot in the still night, stars twinkling above them as they lay back on the hood of Stiles’ Jeep. She’d insisted on putting a blanket between them and the metal, and every time she moves she feels herself slip down another half-inch. 

“I was the one that ate your Cheetos last week,” he says, and she grins up at the endless sky. 

“I already knew that, it doesn’t count.”

“Does too, you only suspected. You also accused Danny.”

“Well, I knew it was one of you, but fine.” There’s a loose thread on the hem of her tank top and she wraps it around her fingernail before unwinding it slowly. Ask me, she thinks. In the dark, she might find the courage to be honest. But Stiles falls silent for once in his life, fingers brushing the outside of her thigh every time he fidgets, never noticing the way it makes her shiver. “We should probably go back. Twenty-one or not, you know Dad’s still one of those ‘as long as you live in my house’ people and he hates if I’m out too late.”

“Ten more minutes,” Stiles says. “We still haven’t seen any shooting stars.”

She rolls her head to study him in the weak light of the moon, but doesn’t protest. She could always use another chance for a wish.

--

Stiles comes around to her side of the booth the second Scott and Kira leave, sighing loudly. “That’s a new low, even for us,” he says, stealing her cup and taking a long drink. She pokes him in the stomach in retaliation. “Especially for you, though.”

She doesn’t care. She hadn’t wanted to date Scott anyway, it doesn’t matter to her that he left with Stiles’ date. Anyone who’s seen Scott and Kira interact could have predicted it would happen sooner or later. “Maybe you should stop trying to set me up with your nerdy friends, then.”

He throws his head back and groans. “Scott’s the least nerdy of all of us.”

“I’m the least nerdy of all your friends,” she corrects, and he laughs.

“Yeah, but I can’t set you up with you.”

“I don’t want to be set up!” she says, wrestling her cup away from him and finishing what remains. There’s a pout on his face; she wants to lean over and kiss him. “Tell me a secret,” she says instead. 

Stiles fingers drum on the booth for a moment. “You remember that party you had in junior year?”

Allison hates this story. “Of course I remember it, you didn’t stop talking about how you lost your virginity in my guest room for months.”

“Yeah, well,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows, “I stole the condom from your Dad’s nightstand.”

She throws a french fry in his face. “That’s disgusting.”

He snaps his teeth but it hits him square in the nose. “Your turn, Ally-bee.”

“I used to fantasize about your dad,” she lies, and he mimes gagging, slapping at her leg. “When he’d come over in uniform to pick you up—” she breaks into giggles as he gives up slapping to make sure stop and digs his fingers into her ribs instead, pressing so close that all she’d have to do is turn her cheek to kiss him. “Okay, I’ll stop, I’ll stop!”

---

“Can you believe we graduate tomorrow?”

Allison picks a piece of confetti off her skirt. “At least you have grad school,” she says, letting it fall from her hand and onto the ground. “I have to start being a real adult.”

Stiles rolls his eyes. “Just tell your dad you want a business degree and he’ll throw more money at you.” She kicks gently at his ankle, and he grins. “Come on, let’s get out of here. I want to go up to the lookout for one more sunset before we leave this place.”

“Stop being so dramatic, you’re leaving the school, not the town,” she laughs. “You’re even staying in the same apartment.”

“Are you coming with me or not?” he asks, but he’s already pulling her up like he knows she’d never say no. 

Stiles keeps the music on while they drive, and she watches out the window, catching glimpses of their younger selves in every place they pass. The taco trunk they’d go to every time they got too drunk on fraternity row, the mini-mart across from her freshman dorm where they’d stock up on snacks for study sessions. The coffee shop they’d loved in high school, the bowling alley they’d gone to every Saturday night in middle school, the library where they’d met as children. She’s so caught up in her memories that she hardly notices when they reach the lookout and Stiles pulls his backpack out of the back of the Jeep.

“Follow me,” he says, leading her to a small trail cut into the bushes. She grasps his hand when he reaches back even though he’s the clumsier of the two, and soon enough he cuts off the trail, pulling her along until the trees part and they reach a small clearing on top of a bluff. “Cool, huh? Danny told me how to find it.”

“It’s beautiful,” she says, taking the blanket he’d pulled out of his backpack and shaking it out before letting it float to the ground. When he sits down next to her there’s a bottle of sparkling wine and two plastic cups in his hands. Stiles is surprisingly quiet, so she offers up the one thing that’s been weighing on her mind. “Dad asked how I’d feel about working in the New York office instead of here.”

“What’d you say?”

She shrugs, studying the way the pink streaks of clouds fade into soft peach near the horizon so she doesn’t look at his face and get her hopes up. “Told him I’d think about it.” They drink the wine while they talk, and Allison tries to draw it out in case it really is the last time, but she’s still finished just before the sun slips under the horizon. By the time the sky is dark they’ve shifted so they’re lying on their backs, ignoring the lights of the city spread out below them.

“Tell me a secret,” she says, playing with one of the strings on the hoodie he’d given her when she’d shivered.

“I’m in love with you.”

Her breath catches in her throat and she rolls her head to look at him. He’s looking back at her, eyes a little too wide, more still than she’s ever seen him. She breathes out; there are only inches between them, and she reaches out her hand to cross the distance. “You’re in love with me?”

His hand closes over hers, pulling gently, arm coming up around her when she tilts into his space. “Can’t eat, can’t sleep, follow you across the country if I need to kinda love,” he says. “You just say the word. But if—”

She kisses him. Drops his hand and cups his cheek instead, fitting their mouths together like she has so many times in her daydreams. It’s so much sweeter than she’d ever imagined. “Yes,” she says, pulling back just enough to get the words out but not so far their lips aren’t brushing together. “To all of it. Everything. I’m in love with you too.”

also on ao3

[gemsofthegalaxy]

The thing about Tom (and also Greg) is, I want to sit him down and look him in the eyes and ask, "Is it worth it?"

With the kids it makes sense. Ken, Shiv, Rome, they have scant few other options. They have been raised since birth to need love that Logan holds at arms length and uses to make them dance like monkeys for him. Maybe Logan thought this was going to make them stronger or capable, but all it has done is make them miserable and incompetent adults. I somehow do hold on to hope that they could, in theory, extricate themselves if they really, reaaaalllly tried but it's highly doubtful they will. They are so wrapped up in this that it's hard to see a way out.

But Tom... clearly had ambitions to get into the company, obviously wants the money, I get that. I cannot concieve of him as a man who didn't love Shiv, though. He loved Shiv! If she was a good partner to him, which she was not, I honestly do not believe he ever would have sold her out. I think he would have been satisfied supporting her even if she took the spot he coveted, because he, at least, did love her. That's my honest analysis of him.

So. Now that he doesn't have her, he continues to go on the logical trajectory of being Logan's bitch boy because he now has the opportunity to so. Is it worth it? Does he like it? Is this the life he wanted?

He does, after all, seem to like putting people in their place when they are below him, so maybe he just wants the power, because this is what he wanted or at least part of it. I desperately wish we knew more about what made him this way. He was willing to throw away his family life for Shiv's, with only a little protest, no Christmas or holidays with his mother... he wants her affection and family clout that badly.

I have read some posts that say Tom is a lot like Logan, for instance. Logan was not raised rich like his kids were, and Tom's mother is a lawyer but they did not have the level of money he has now. And maybe that really is the end of it. He wants money and power and despite the fact he now has tons of that, he will never quit when he's ahead, there is still more money to be made. Even when he goes home to a giant, beige, lonely house and a dog he keeps in a cage all the time. I still can't bring myself to believe he didn't love Shiv, but it wasn't enough anyway, and his love for her was shadowed by the clear benefits she provided him that had nothing to do with who she was as a person.

Idk. To me Tom seems like he has something soft to him, like maybe this life is not how he expected, but whether he's simply in too deep or genuinely has himself convinced this is what he likes his life to be like, I don't know.

[ironiedevivre]

i wish i had someone to actually hear what i say & reply to it. or at the very least, just listen & let me feel heard instead of completely alone.

i feel like i must be out of my mind, but i know it's not me. baby sibling has taken over the laundry room - the ENTIRE floor is covered with her clothes. (& the entire freezer is full of her food, tho she insists none of it is hers. in which case i should be allowed to throw it all out, but she flips out, so what is the truth?) & because of that, i can't bring any food to the shelves in there. so it's piled up in the kitchen, where middle sib & mother complain. but there's no room. the workroom & basement are covered w/ baby sibling's crap - broken hangers, tons of dollar store shit & shopping bags, so much. i tried to clean in there too, & she flips out if i move her stuff. there is literally no way to clean the living room, the kitchen, the laundry room, the basement, with all of her stuff in the way. & when i try anyway, i get stuck & overwhelmed. idk where to put anything. she just keeps buying more. & tonight, i had to clean out the living room closet. tons of heavy blankets & pillows have to be washed. there was no room in the laundry room to put the pile that didn't fit, so i left it by the stairs. there was no room to get to the dryer let alone open it, so i moved baby sibling's clothes out of the way & now she's throwing a fit because i supposedly mixed clean & dirty laundry (it's all on the floor!!! it's covering my laundry, the towels & sheets & things i keep trying to find but always have to rewash because she throws everything on the floor or takes over the dryer so everyone else's clothes get mildew!!!) & left a pile by the stairs (there's literally nowhere else to put it, because her stuff is everywhere. literally. nowhere else.) like wtf am i supposed to do here???

it's so fucking unfair too that i cleaned & organized that room so many times. middle sibling & i did the kitchen so many times too, & baby sibling turned that into a disaster. (& she used to keep using my treadmill as her personal stage. if i had the energy, i can't even use my treadmill at all because of her & her stuff.) i cleaned & organized the living room, & baby sibling leaves piles of shoes & work things & shopping bags there. mother's bedroom is full of baby sibling's clothes, & makeup, & there's barely room to walk & neither the door or the closet can be closed. i tried to clean that too, & baby sibling flipped out. & that's the number one reason why mother gets so angry about "us" being here - baby sibling's mess taking up so much space. all of us trying to clean around it but i'm not able to keep up. i don't know where to put all of her dishes & jars & whatnot, & her stuff is filthy & never gets clean in the dishwasher, so idk where to move it so it's difficult to do the dishes at all... she's just not a good housemate to anyone...

i feel like shit without my car. i'm trapped again. at least mother's agreed to get a rental for a week - i'm dreading it tho, because she wants to cram in shopping sprees & she gets angry if i suggest i want to do anything for myself (or go to a protest, because somehow to her, attending the occasional protest means i should be able to hold a full time job...?)

severe, severe depression. extreme anxiety. everything is terrible & i have little reason for hope.

close friend has offered to send a check to help with car repair. i don't know how to tell her that i refuse to take money from her. she's done too much already & while this particular repair is a huge one for anyone, i just. i'm wracked w/ guilt over needing help w/ the cost already, nevermind the guilt (& gratitude) for all her help in the past. i already feel like i could never repay her. i can't add more to that. (i still haven't sent her christmas presents for the past 2 years >_< how do you send the most recent one w/o sending the previous one, but i accidentally broke the previous one & have to redo it & it never comes out good enough, i'm so worried it won't be good enough. & i now still need to find one more part for the latter so it's coherent & makes sense. i have them, i swear i have them. just so fucking anxious...) back to the point - it sucks that it's something i desperately need but i don't like that she keeps bailing me out. i don't want that for her. i don't want to be that to her. i don't want to be a burden, regardless of how willing she is to help. she offered to let me stay with her once i'm homeless, & as much as i'd like to visit, i could never stay.

gods i feel like shit... it is so hard to want to keep living...

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Ashes in my Throat

Summary: Allegra is a cheerful artist excited to get married to her betrothed.

(Ashan is a warlock who has taken a hundred years to forgive herself.)

On AO3

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Allegra smiled joyfully at her mother as the older woman calculated the money they’d gotten from their recent sale. “Is it true that a Baldarian lord wanted one of my works?” Allegra asked eagerly.

 “He did!” Laughed Marguie, smiling at her daughter. The two looked alike with their deep purple skin and light pink eyes. Marguie had white hair, though, while Allegra possessed black hair, much like her father’s. Though Marguie had no idea where the artistic talent came from.

 “My work is getting so popular!” The 24-year-old smiled widely. “Mama, do you think I’ll be famous one day?”

 “I believe so, love,” Marguie kissed her daughter’s cheek. One year away from her age of majority and the young gnome was a buzz with excitement. Her sculptures and statues were getting better with age. Marguie had no doubt her daughter would cause the Glimbrook clan to rise in standing among the merchants of Faerun. Selling beautiful art pieces made by one of their own proved they were not just a group who bought and sold but could create as well. Sure, some humans may not care, but gnomes and their clan voiced it loudly when they could.

 “Believe what?” Asked Archer, the blue-skinned deep gnome stepping into the room. Allegra beamed, throwing herself at the man in a hug.

 “Papa! Mama believes I will be famous one day!” She said proudly. Archer laughed and ruffled his daughter’s hair.

 “You will, my little artist!” He kissed her forehead. “How about you go and work on some sketches to get better?”

 Allegra raised an eyebrow, looking at him with some amusement. That meant her parents wanted to discuss business without her hearing.

 “Okay, Papa,” Allegra said. She left the room and made noise as if she was going, hovering quietly by the door. She was almost 25, the age of majority for deep gnomes! She was more than old enough to hear whatever they were saying!

 “Archer?” Marguie asked.

 “My father asked me about betrothing Allegra to that Rocksfall lad, Canvor?” Archer said, getting right to business. Allegra frowned. Why wouldn’t her dad want to talk to her about this? Allegra had been more than willing to enter an arranged match when her grandfather, the head of the Glimbrook clan, asked. Her father was not the heir but the third-born son and Allegra knew she was a way to get ahead young. She had never minded, lost in the world of art. She doubted she would ever find her own partner with her hands busy and head down.

 “Canvor?! He’s 100!” Marguie protested. “He’s too old for Allegra.” Allegra wrinkled her nose, nodding. He was also just gross and had been married twice already. Frankly, it was an insult that the clan offered him, given his wives divorced him. The Rocksfall clan may have the best artists and be well-regarded, but that was disgusting.

 “No, the other Canvor, the son of the head of the Rocksfall clan,” Archer said. Allegra covered her mouth so as not to make a sound. Him?! Her face felt warm as she thought of the handsome gnome with his boyish grin and sparkling eyes. Allegra may keep her head down but it always came up when that man came around. He was so dreamy…

 “Wait, him?!” Marguie sounded shocked. “The clan heir?! They want Allegra to marry him?!” Oh, right, THAT too. Allegra knew it wouldn’t be odd for her to marry a clan heir, but the Rocksfall clan was different. They were the best artists, and Canvor was rumoured to have a lover he wished to marry. Yet, it couldn't be true if Allegra was offered as a wife.

 “Indeed!” Archer said. “I wanted to discuss it with you first. Those rumours of his lover are concerning, and I hoped to check with you your thoughts.”

 “They are rumours. I have heard she’s human, heard she’s a dwarf, heard she is a he, but it doesn’t matter,” Marguie said. “This is big! Glimbrook would become a household name! The Rocksfall clan is the biggest merchant clan around here!”

 “But what if they are true?” Archer asked. “You ran away from your marriage for me. You remember the anger and embarrassment of your former fiance.” Silence came from the room. Allegra winced hard.

 There was another reason she was willing to marry whom her grandfather chose. Her mother running away from her wedding had laid a dark mark on the small family. While Marguie had made it clear she did not love her betrothed and that she loved Archer, Allegra’s maternal grandfather ignored his daughter’s wishes. Glimbrook clan prided themselves on choices, and while they happily took Marguie in after she ran, refusing to return her, it did mark them. Allegra hoped to change that.

 “We make it clear we only agree if Canvor is not in love,” Marguie said firmly. “We must speak to Allegra so she can choose.”

 Allegra slipped away to pretend she hadn’t heard, buzzing in excitement. Sure, nothing may come from it. Canvor may indeed have a lover, but what if he didn’t? Perhaps he could marry her and have a fantastic life together. She hoped for that and smiled as she walked to her room. Oh, what if?

(Ashan is 35, and she watches as a human woman walks arm in arm with a handsome elven man. The woman doesn’t notice the dark look in the man’s eyes. Ashan does.

 She turns away.)

-0-

 Canvor Rocksfall was tall for a gnome with beautiful dark blue skin and big blue eyes. His laugh was so gentle and sweet, and his smile showed dimples. The man was a catch beyond catches. His father, Jasper Rocksfall, had insisted his son was free to be betrothed, dismissing the lover rumours.

 Marguie had pulled her daughter aside to advise the girl that Jasper may be lying.

 “My father certainly ignored my wishes and belittled my love for your father.” the woman warned Allegra. “Speak plainly with Canvor, and make sure he knows that if he does love another, you will not force the marriage.”

 “I will,” Allegra promised. Canvor may be handsome, and she may daydream of him, but she would not force a marriage.

 Their first meeting took place with her mother and a member of the Rocksfall clan to watch over them. The clan member was a pretty woman with dark blue skin and purple eyes, her long white hair pulled back into a fancy bun. Her name was Sapphire, and Allegra found her as attractive as Canvor. Allegra couldn’t stop sneaking a few peeks even as she spoke with Canvor.

 “Do you want this?” Allegra asked him lowly. “I will not agree if the rumours of your lover are true,” she told him. Canvor blinked, looking surprised, but he gave a smile.

 “I have agreed to this,” he told her. Allegra smiled, eyes shining. Then, she would not argue herself. Instead, she asked about art, hoping to learn his mind. The debate that sparked excited her. Allegra loved art and had grown up drawing her pieces even before she picked up a chisel. Allegra begged to look at galleries and sculptures when her mother took her on trips. She loved it all.

 But she had opinions.

 “Netheril art is not as beautiful as art from now!” Allegra insisted. “They used magic half the time, and it’s not nearly as rewarding as creating pieces with your own hands! Not to mention, after the fall, the pieces lost a good chunk of their… well, art!”

 “But the sheer colours and scale of their work outweigh that!” Canvor said. “The potential of what they were once is mesmerizing!”

 “Maybe,” Allegra said, frowning. “But we can’t know what they looked like. Selling some piece of Netheril art as a masterpiece would be a lie because we can’t tell,” she argued.

 “It’s a profit,” Canvor shot back. Allegra wrinkled her nose, shaking her head.

 “It may be so, but I would rather sell a piece where I know what it is,” she said. Allegra would never sell anything she didn’t know the value of. You could undersell or oversell yourself and cause no end of fuss.

 “How about Thay artists then?” Canvor said.

 “Some are amazing, but can we know who made it?” Allegra pondered. “Given how much of their work is done by the undead or slaves. It’s similar with Drow work.”

 “The Drow at least say the art is from certain houses…” Canvor agreed. Allegra smiled as she got into the debate. She rarely, if ever, got to argue art. It was so much fun to do so with him!

(Ashan is 40 and sits around a fire while a bottle of wine is passed. She wonders if she missed anything that day. If there had been any proof of things to come.

 She takes a big gulp of wine, ignoring the playful complaints from her companions. She doesn’t want to know.)

 -0-

 Allegra walked with Canvor around his village. It was the Rocksfall clan’s, but he would one day take over. Following them was Sapphire and Allegra’s cousin Harmony, who was eyeing Sapphire strangely.

 “This is such a nice place,” Allegra sighed, looking around. It was bigger than her clan’s village and in a safer area. Surrounded by walls, the Rocksfall village could repel attacks easily. It was a sad fact of the Underdark that you needed to be prepared for anything to kill you. Or enslave you.

 “Thank you,” Canvor said politely. “Is your own village similar?”

 “We don’t have a wall, but we are surrounded by a lot of poisonous mushrooms that keep the predators and most forces away,” Allegra said thoughtfully. “Tongue of madness, bibberbang, torchstalks, timmask. You name it, it’s around.”

 “Fascinating,” Canvor said with a smile. The group headed to a stall where Canvor was pulled aside to speak to the owner. Allegra waited for him, humming as she observed the people around her. Harmony reached out to touch her shoulder. Allegra looked at her cousin, who had the same blue skin as Archer and black hair like Allegra herself.

 “Cousin, I think Sapphire has plans,” Harmony whispered.

 “Oh?” Allegra asked quietly. She looked at Sapphire, who was standing beside Canvor, looking at him fondly. “… do you think…”

 “I think they broke up,” Harmony murmured. “You made it clear, we all know, you wouldn’t agree to this if he still had a lover. But I think she still wishes for him. Watch yourself.”

 “Thank you, cousin,” Allegra said, eyeing Sapphire. She would keep an eye on the other woman, but Canvor made his choice. Anyone who loves someone should respect that.

(Ashan is 50, and she throws a bucket of water on a pair of fighting women.

 They were fighting over a man, and Ashan is so tired of men playing games as the man toys with the women, promising things to both while he seduces a third for her money.)

-0-

 One of Allegra’s favourite things that wasn’t art was reading romance novels. She loved to read about courtly love and dancing. She giggled over the dramatic speeches and how the hero saved the day, winning the hand of the partner. She devoured the books without a second thought.

 So she was very excited when Canvor said they would go to a festival where dancing would happen. Their families had been arguing over the contract. Allegra wanted to keep Glimbrook on her older pieces and for it to be known where she came from, which her parents agreed to, while Jasper Rocksfall wanted to pretend her older work never happened. Frankly, the man was beginning to leave a sour taste in Allegra’s mouth. He was rude and seemed to dismiss anything his son or Allegra said. Ass.

 The festival was to celebrate the founding of the Rocksfall clan and how it was to experience it. New foods that Allegra had never tried before. And the music? Oh, it was beautiful.

 Canvor danced with her around the festival, and Allegra felt ever more like a princess as she danced. She thought she could love the man, given time. She felt she was falling for him as he spun her around and around.

 “Happy?” Sapphire asked when Allegra was resting beside a fountain. Canvor had been pulled aside to speak about something with a villager, and Allegra took a moment to relax. “About the arrangement?” She sounded cross, glaring at Allegra.

 “Oh? Yes.” Allegra smiled kindly. She wouldn’t be cruel to Sapphire.

 “Happy you made him agree?” Sapphire demanded. Allegra frowned.

 “What? I told him if he wished, I wouldn’t agree to it. My own mother ran from her arrangement; why would I force one on another?” Allegra asked in bafflement. Sapphire paused and then nodded. She left, leaving behind a confused woman. Eventually, Allegra shrugged. Perhaps the other told herself some tale about Canvor being forced so she could hope he would choose her even after they broke up.

(Ashan is 55, and she spots a woman spinning a pretty tale to a man who looks at her as if she hung the moon and stars. Ashan has a knife and was offered a lot of money to kill the woman who has been playing with the feelings of multiple people across the country, lying and playing them against each other.

 Ashan scars the woman and pushes her into a ravine. She takes the money with glee.)

-0-

 The contract was finalized four months into Allegra’s 25th year. Sapphire stopped being their chaperone, and Allegra originally marked it down as her finally accepting Canvor did not want her anymore. Then she heard the woman died, tragically during an attack on one of the caravans the Rocksfall clan set out with their items.

 Allegra felt terrible for her dismissive thoughts after that. It was what led to her arguing for a dark sapphire blue dress.

 “It looks so beautiful!” She insisted to the dressmaker of the Glimbrook clan.

 “But red is more traditional!” Protested the woman.

 “Red looks terrible with Allegra’s skin,” Marguie said, fighting for her daughter. The dressmaker sighed but nodded, and then it was about the cut and the style and…

 Allegra handed a sketch of her dress, and the dressmaker beamed.

 “I can work with this!” The woman says. “You will set fashion trends for years!”

 Allegra couldn’t wait.

(Ashan is 60, and she goes back to the village she once lived in. She finds her house half burnt and ransacked. They did not find the safe, though. She opens it and finds a dress she designed, one she never wore along with all the family heirlooms they hid.

 She cries, clutching the dress. It’s the first time since it happened she cries. It heals the jagged edges in her heart a little.)

-0-

 “My cousin is getting married,” Allegra remarked to Canvor. They were sampling treats for fun at a little bakery in the Rocksfall village.

 “Which one?” Canvor asked.

 “Rhyme. She is marrying her girlfriend and boyfriend,” Allegra said thoughtfully as she tried a delightful spider bun. The crunch was delicious from the legs.

 “Oh, polyamory?” Canvor asked.

 “She enjoys it,” Allegra shrugged. “I never understood.” Canvor blinked, shoulders slumping a little before he nodded.

 “To each their own.” He agreed.

(Ashan is 70, and she still doesn’t understand polyamory. But she will throw down with anyone starting anything about it.

 She thinks of her cousin without pain for once as she’s punching a man in the face.)

-0-

 Allegra showed Canvor around her village. Behind them trailed a few children who were excited to have something to do while the adults were preparing for the festival to celebrate the battle against the Drow Allegra’s great uncle fought.

 “So, you stockpile weapons?” Canvor asked.

 “We all can fight. I’m a dab hand with a dagger or a bow, but we prefer to keep the big weapons there unless we’re the guards,” Allegra told Canvor as she walked with him. “My mama is a wizard too, though she doesn’t practice much these days running the family stall and stuff.”

 “Really…” Canvor said thoughtfully. He looked towards the mushrooms surrounding the village. Safer ones, the poisonous ones, were a bit further out but still near enough to drive off most looking to make the town a target unless you knew the safe way in. “You guys ever deal with poisonings?”

 “We all take antidotes daily,” Allegra said, shrugging. She looked at his sword on his hip. “If you want to have poison added to that blade, I can direct you to our alchemist.” Canvor looked at his blade in shock.

 “You know this type?” He asked.

 “Everyone knows about the Drow man who ran off with a gnome merchant to marry into the Everbite clan,” Allegra snorted. “He makes good blades, though. Is that one with the hole in the handle to put a bottle of poison in it to coat the blade?”

 “It is,” Canvor said. “I was thinking of asking about poisons here. You have antidotes to?”

 “Oh yes!” Allegra said. She knew her stuff simply from living where she did, even if her art was her priority.

(Ashan is 90, and she spots a man slipping poison into a drink of a woman he has matching rings with. She distracts the couple to switch the glasses.

 She smiles when he dies choking.)

-0-

 The first time Allegra had sex with Canvor occurred three months before the wedding. They didn’t have chaperones anymore, given everything ironclad, and honestly, no one cared if she got pregnant after that.

 She still took the herbs just in case, knowing about the event ahead. She had sex before, clumsy affairs with other members of the clan not related to her. Fumbling with a few other merchant kids on the surface.

 Canvor was really into the whole ‘this is your first time ever, it should be special’ thing, so Allegra hadn’t told him about her trysts before. It's not like they mattered anyway, just harmless fun.

 The sex was terrific to Allegra. Canvor was so passionate and unforgettable, touching her and holding her. Allegra felt so happy in that moment as he had her…

 She knew she loved him then as she stared into his eyes. She knew she loved him and couldn’t wait to spend their lives together as he touched her.

 She was so happy.

 (Ashan is 95 and is sitting in a tent laughing as she trades stories with her companion. She smiles at Madame Fairbraid and thinks she loves the other woman.

 She’s never felt like this before, filled with love and happiness as she tangles their hands together. Nothing else has compared.)

-0-

 Two months before her wedding, Allegra was at work sculpting. It was a commission for a fancy Elf noble whatever she tuned out their long list of titles halfway through their talk. She didn’t care too much about that. They wanted a deer with its head lifted majestically so they would get it.

 Allegra heard the first scream and dropped her tools to run out of her art room, snatching up her bow as she did. You had to be prepared in the Underdark, even in their village.

 She exited her room and headed to where the stockpile was, only to freeze in horror. Flaming arrows had been launched at the place already, burning their weapons. She turned to look at who was attacking, only seeing a sea of red uniforms.

 They couldn’t fight back. Somehow, they knew where all their stockpiles were, all their hidey holes, every bit of information they had to protect themselves, the force knew.

 Allegra shot arrow after arrow, screaming as she watched her father fall, a sword in his chest. She cried as her mother fell to the ground headless.

 Allegra fought back as hard as she could, grabbing arrows from the ground and trying, trying…

 She stood surrounded by the bodies of her clan. She had her bow in hand and let loose another arrow at the force. She killed ten already, but god was there too many.

 “Why isn’t she dead yet?!” A voice yelled, and… Allegra knew that voice.

 “Canvor?” She choked out, staring at the force with wild eyes. One of them paused and sighed. He removed his helmet to reveal her betrothed. “I don’t… how…”

 “You ruined everything,” Canvor sighed. “Sapphire was perfect as the future clan head wife, but Father demanded we bring you into the clan and insisted I would be best. I felt sure I could marry you and keep Sapphire. Then you ran your damn mouth about offering to not go through with it if I agreed, and she got angry. She was planning to come and talk to you about it. I had to deal with her.” He frowned. “Then I realized I couldn’t have a second on the side with you. You wouldn’t allow it. But of course, you just had to take poison antidotes, didn’t you? This is your fault, Allegra.” He sneered. Allegra stared heartbrokenly at the man she loved as he put his helmet back on.

 He was then stabbed by Harmony, who had been lying on the ground near him. “RUN ALLEGRA!” The woman screamed right before her head was cut off.

 Allegra obeyed. She may have told Canvor things about the village, but she never told him the safe way through the mushroom at the back of it. Few knew it.

 Allegra ran until she reached a small clearing in the middle of a group of torchstalks. She stood there, feeling as if they wouldn’t-

 The sound of explosions hit her ears, and her stomach dropped as she realized she was listening to the stalks explode. She stepped back in fear, entering a perfectly circular ring of mushrooms-

 Then it went black.

(Ashan is 100, and Fairbraid asks her if her family would like her self-hate and mourning. If they would be the kind of people to put their anger on her.

 They wouldn’t be, and Ashan knows. She doesn’t start forgiving herself but starts to hate herself less.)

-0-

 Allegra opened her eyes after the blackness to find herself in a room of ice. There was no colour but white and blue around her, the cold touching her skin. She shivered as she looked around more, confused.

 Then she saw Him. A man sitting on an icy throne wearing some of the finest clothes she had ever seen. His face was impossibly beautiful, sculpted perfectly with high cheekbones and a strong jaw as he stared her down. He hurt to look at, causing Allegra to drop her eyes as her head hurt.

 Fae. He was a Fae.

 “What is your name?” The man asked.

 “I don’t wish to give it,” Allegra said. The man sighed, sounding bored.

 “You entered my circle and don’t give me your name?”

 “I was running and accidentally entered your circle,” Allegra said.

 “And why were you running?” The man asked.

 “My betrothed betrayed me.” It hurt her to say that. It burned her mouth and made her break down. Tears poured down her face as it came out. How he’d lied, how he used the knowledge of their village to attack, how he had cruelly spoken to her before sending his men. How they lit the torchstalks a flame. She sobbed, dropping to her knees.

 “Do you wish revenge?” The man asked. Allegra paused, thinking about it. Did she want revenge?

 The answer she found, burning in her gut and choking her in her throat, was yes.

 “Yes,” she said, looking at the man. She held his gaze even as her mind hurt to look.

 “I am Lord Malivor of Madness,” he said boomingly. “I can give you the power to get revenge. In exchange, I ask for three things.”

 “What are they?” Allegra asked.

 “Your oath to serve my interests when I speak to you, the oath to use your powers as much as possible, not to just use them once and never again, and your name.” Lord Malivor demanded.

 “I am Allegra Glimbrook, and I accept,” Allegra said.

 “Very well, Ashan Grimbrook,” Lord Malivor said and… she lost her old name. She felt it slip from her, and her new title was bestowed upon her. She also felt the rush from the deal, the power flowing through her.

 Ashan would have her revenge.

(Ashan is 105, and she meets an old friend. The man is surprised to see her, saying a name no longer hers. He is confused by the change of her name. Given what happened, he expresses confusion over how she can be comfortable with it.

 She wasn’t once, but now is. She rose from the ashes of her life to build anew. Fire disturbs her, but she never minds ash.)

-0-

 Ashan was an artist but still grew up in a merchant family. She knew how to ruin someone, even if her clan was too nice to do it often.

 She started small. She picked at the fact that Canvor was known to be a flirt and found that there were cases of him being too flirty while he’d been betrothed to her. It made Ashan’s teeth ache, but she used it.

 She then began spreading about his Nethril art thoughts. She felt shame; she’d never realized he purposely sold the art while lying, blinded by the fact he was handsome and engaged to her. The news got a lot of angry people demanding refunds.

 Ashan attacked the fact that Canvor didn’t show any sadness at her death. She pushed forward how strange it was he didn’t seem to mourn her. Claims of mourning in private had servants gossiping about how no he didn’t, letting it spread. Canvor showed his stress after that, looking angry and glaring at nothing as he wore mourning colours and acted the sad fiance.

 Ashan tracked down the people who Canvor had hired. Mercenaries, their word suspect. But it was enough that when she made them talk about it, people began wondering.

 It was then she made her final move. She slipped into his house like a ghost, creeping up to where he spoke to his father.

 “I don’t care, Canvor. We need to get RID of these rumours.” Jasper Rocksfall snapped. “For fuck sakes, did you kill the bitch and her family or not?”

 “I did,” Canvor snapped. “She was talented and not bad in bed, but she ruined everything.”

 “Shit. We need to-”

 “Do nothing,” Ashan said as she kicked the door in. Canvor whirled around and paled.

 “Allegra,” he said. Ashan smiled.

 “It’s Ashan Grimbrook,” she held up a hand beginning to glow red light. “And my Lord has enabled me to take my revenge.”

 (Ashan is 115, and she’s no longer with Fairbraid. They are too different, and Ashan isn’t ready to settle down. Ashan goes to the Rocksfall village and watches from the shadow. The clan has fallen into infamy from what Canvor did, from the rumours of how he died. But they try to combat it, working to prove they are not their former leaders.

 Ashan watches as a man smiles at a woman and feels her heart heal.)

-0-

 Ashan killed Canvor slowly. She killed Jasper with a flick of her wrist and a burst of magic, but Canvor she killed slowly. She immobilized him and then wrapped her hands around his neck. She held his eyes as he died, choking in her hands.

 She cried after. She cried for her daydreams of their wedding, their future. She cried for Allegra Glimbrook, who died betrayed. Ashan didn’t stop crying even as she ran, leaving the bodies behind with evidence of all their wrongdoings.

 She left the Underdark and stepped into the light of day, covering her eyes with a hiss. It was the start of something new.

(Ashan is 121, and Lord Malivor wants someone to look after his newest warlock, an eleven-year-old human child. Ashan volunteers. She is given back Glimbrook thanks to it. Ashan helps care for the children and feels her heart hurts less.

 Ashan is 125, and she has finally forgiven herself. She walks through the sun and finds herself captured by Mindflayers.

 Ashan is 125, and a man offers her to dance, bowing.

 She takes his hand, healed and hoping.)

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

I had fun with this. Oddly enough I haven't played Ashan yet but thats because I can't get her right in character creation. I can't get a good hair or face for her. Originally she was going to romance Shadowheart but I realized she fit with Wyll much more. It's cute.

The child warlock is a reference to my other fic, but I've kept it vague because while it's canon for her she helped care for a child warlock and was given back her last name, I don't want to go outright and say: yeah crossover is canon for her.

I like to think if she and Wyll get married she wears the dress she created so long ago.

[blimpixels]

I agree with you when it comes to the points and angles you brought up about piracy. I am sorry if I came across as somehow antagonizing, that really wasn't my intention. I also have a very specific way of typing in order to try and come across as clear to avoid misunderstandings which includes messages sometimes being long-winded, but I'm sorry if I came across as rude instead. I would like to mention to you and others who thought I was disagreeing with you on what you meant, that you had simply written "This might be a hot take but I think there’s too much piracy", which is a very broad statement. It didn't really dawn on me that you specifically had that angle in mind when I responded and assumed you meant piracy as a whole. You're right that it's just a little tweet and I didn't mean to make it seem like it was a bigger statement than it actually was, I just happened to read what I read and tried to add to the topic. Me doing so on anon has more to do with me being very shy and not really having public accounts. I'm sorry if this seemed intimidating as well. As a final little thing to end this on which isn't related to the topic necessarily, I hope some of your followers who didn't know this was a misunderstanding either will refrain from throwing words like "delusional" around to negatively describe someone being rude. I never meant harm though I realise my tone came across as rude (which again, I'm sorry about that). I don't know what prompted them to use ableist language, if it mightve been the ask you received after you had answered mine that aggravated that. To clarify that wasn't sent by me, I only saw your response just now. I didn't mean to bother you or imply anything about you, and I'm sincerely sorry.

sorry this is so late but I appreciate this. And you’re good dw. You’re on the right side of history in the end. It was just a crazy ask to wake up to lol. I apologize if I stressed you out or made you feel bad. It was pretty obvious that the second ask wasn’t you but receiving that was pretty annoying.

I think this is a very nuanced topic and I wish I both understood more about it and what we could do to fix it besides continuing to support things like the internet archive and also small-time creators financially. But it’s why I’ll always prefer tumblr over twitter for actual discussion (since posts can be longer than 240 characters here and there are no blue checks to derail shit) Because it's very important! companies are repeatedly screwing us over and sometimes it feels like no matter how much we protest their money talks louder. it super sucks.

[twobuckhowie]

Why Did I Store This?

   Over the years I have accumulated a lot of Stuff, telling myself that I would use this thing that I stored, later. I'm not going to tell you that I am a hoarder, buuuuuut, I have been going through drawers, under beds, closets, cabinets, a crawl space, and my garage for about a year now.

   I think I have personally supplied Angel View with all their charitable goods during this time.

   I have recently been opening up boxes that I stored maybe 20 years ago? Give or take a decade.

   I would like to share with you something I found from 2009 and have no idea why I saved it. It was written down on a piece of paper.

*****

A police officer pulls over a blonde for speeding and asks the driver if she could see his license. The driver replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday a different officer took my license and now today, you expect me to show it to you!"

   A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy sitting next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, I think you should know something. The bartender and the bouncer are both blonde. I'm six foot tall, 200 pound black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5", weighing in at 300 lbs, and is a wrestler. Now think about it. Do you really want to tell a blonde joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

   A lawyer named Mister Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After making his selection the stone-cutter asks for the inscription he would like on his headstone. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer." Mr. Syble tells him. "I can't do that," replies the stone-cutter. "It's against the law to bury two people in the same grave in this state. I can put here lies an honest lawyer." "But people won't know who it is," protests Mr. Syble. "Sure it will," retorts the stone-cutter. "People will read it and exclaim, "That's Impossible!"

   When a person helps a criminal before he gets arrested, we call them, an accomplice. When a person helps a criminal after he gets arrested, we call them, a public defender.

   A man gets caught embezzling millions of dollars from his employer and seeks out a defense attorney. He tells his new attorney, "Please, I can't go to jail, I have money. Can you help me?" The attorney says, "Don't worry. You'll never go to jail with all that money." The lawyer was right. When the guy went to prison, he didn't have a dime to his name because of legal fees!

 This is,

Now I Can Throw Away One More Piece Of Paper

Jim Hauenstein

And

“The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. ” - Will Rogers -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Be kind to everyone

I'll be seeing you

[norahastuff]

I know I’ve talked about this a lot before, but was just thinking again today about how Dean was named after their grandmother and Sam was named after their grandfather. How Dean tried so hard to emulate his father’s brand of masculinity but ultimately realised that it was Sam who was most like their father, and Dean later discovers that he’s just like Mary. How John trained Dean to be the hunter who had to be tough and kill the monster, but also took advantage of his so-called “delicate features” and innate vulnerability and used him as bait to lure in unsuspecting monsters. And how after the hunt, Dean had to go home and be a mother, father and brother to Sam. He had to be the caretaker because John sure as fuck wasn’t going to do it. 

And then of course there’s Dean having very significant reactions anytime he’s clocked as gay, whereas Sam (once he gets past the initial “Eww - he’s my brother” part) isn’t fazed in slightest. How Dean repeatedly teases Sam by implying he wears women’s underwear, but remind me - who is it that canonically admits to actually doing that? 

Dean turning his nose up at Sam’s fancy coffee, because “Real men don’t drink out of cups this small” but when Sam tries to take it back from him, he’s refuses, because it’s not like he didn’t want the coffee, he just felt like he needed to put up the token protest first. (I could list a bunch of examples of this but that one is a personal favourite - makes me laugh every time.)

And then I think about how much he changes when he has his big cathartic confession to Mary, when he admits that he had to be a mother/father/brother to Sam, how he had to be everything to everyone, fulfil all of the expectations everyone had for him, and how he felt like a failure when he couldn’t live up to them. And how it just wasn’t fair. Because, yeah, Amara was on the money with that one, Mary was what he needed most so that he could finally admit all that to himself - could actually say the words out loud to the person whose death was the catalyst for everything. The false image of Mary as an innocent, perfect martyr is what John used to justify moulding Dean into the blunt instrument he used to fight his war after all. He needed to see that the Mary he’d grown up idealising wasn’t real.

Dean is so different post Mary. He makes Cas a mixtape. He quotes ‘Frozen’ and isn’t bothered at all by Sam’s surprised reaction to that. He giddily wears a nightgown and bakes cakes. I mean, Chuck sent Lilith to seduce Dean and it was a ridiculous ploy, because Dean acted more as a protector/older brother figure and would never have even considered sleeping with her. When John came back in s14 and tried to tell Dean he wishes he had a family, Dean firmly rejects the idea of the white picket fence, nuclear family John tries to raise. He’s adamant that he’s happy with the one he’s built for himself - that just because it’s unconventional, doesn’t make it any less of a “real” family.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not saying Dean had fully dealt with all his issues with masculinity (and I think we’ve discussed the reasons he wasn’t fully able to a lot since 15x18/finale) but he’d come a long, long way since the Dean of the earlier seasons.

Anyway, apologies for the wall of text, it’s just been rattling around my brain today - needed to throw it out into the void.