#and I’m definitely not the first person to point this out but the symbolism of when the physical mask is worn is fascinating

[age-of-moonknight]

“Kill List,” Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #20.

Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit

[stariikis]

ni-ki as your study date •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

synopsis ; the price you paid for choosing an athletic boyfriend over an academic one? no practical help when you're drowning in mysterious equations and symbols. but at least he's good at comforting the perfectionist in you.

pairing ; athletic!nishimura riki x academic achiever!reader genre ; fluff, established rs wc ; 802 warnings n notes ; dear readers, these two are mentally suffering because one doesn't care and the other cares too much! trigger warning, bio phys chem and math mentioned..

“-And during PE we played badminton, and Jake hyung was soooo bad today. He kept trying to smash but missed the shuttlecock.” Beside you, with his “I-swear-I’ll-finish-three-chapters-today” Physics textbook hardly opened to the first page, Riki doesn’t stop rambling about the various sports he’s played today. You’ve heard enough about the goals he scored during an impromptu morning game of football. The way his best friend fumbled during a badminton match. How his legs ache from standing in the sun for hours during baseball training. You’re about to tug him out the cafe by his jersey. 

“Are you going to start your notes or what?” You shove him with a lighthearted tone, barely concealing the exasperation behind your words. “All that talk about wanting to finally get an A but you still keep yapping. About sports, no less.” 

Riki rolls his eyes and mock-salutes in your direction. “Yes, ma’am.” 

Taking a sip of your matcha latte, you sigh resolutely and return to examine various electronic configurations. Perhaps now, Riki will leave you in peace… 

Only five minutes later, you’re snapped out of focus with a sheepish nudge. 

“What’s a moment…” “OH my days Nishimura Riki how can you not know what a moment is that’s like basic physics you’re supposed to have known that since we started chapter TWO.” 

Shrinking under your scoldings, he glances back at his textbook, reads the definition and looks back towards you. “I don’t get it.” 

With another heavy sigh, you scoot closer and attempt to explain as simply as you possibly can. However, he’s deliberately distracting you, with playful caresses through your hair and touches of kisses as smooth as silk on your cheek. You’ve got to be turning a beetroot red, but you ignore the warmth spreading through your cheeks and continue on. 

“Now repeat what I just said to you.” Refusing to give in to his silly antics, you cross your arms and lean back. Swiping the hair his fingers touched, not too long ago, out the way. 

He pouts, knowing him acting cute is your soft spot. “That’s not fair.” 

“Why?” You press, but relent and hunch back over your notes. “You know what, just focus on relearning your balanced forces. Do you remember what the principles of moments even is?” Oh wait, he doesn’t even know what a moment is. The way he blinks once at his textbook and blinks twice your way proves this. 

“At this point, I’m not dead, you’re more cooked than I am. And I am cooked.” 

Gasping scandalously, he whisper shouts, “You’re literally my academic goal, what are you on? I wish I had the motivation you did. Okay, more like I wish I had your grades, but we both know that’s not happening.” 

He gestures to all the bruises he’s obtained over the past week, scratches and wounds that demonstrate how dedicated he is to all the sports he partakes in. They’re his own personal souveniers. Although most fade quickly, some leave scars burning in his skin, but he’s proud of them all even when you express your concern for him. 

He’s always been like that. Dismissive of concerning matters because he enjoys showing people how strong he is. Internally and externally. The complete opposite of him, one Maths question you get wrong and you start questioning the very bane of your existence. 

You fall into silence, looking back at your notes. You have lost track of where Chemistry starts and ends, your paper copy of the periodic table crumpled and defaced from your bursts of frustration. You may not show it, but there’s so much going on in your head it’s hard to escape the fog you’ve mentally put yourself in. With the crazy STEM course you’ve chosen, you know that you’re definitely on the train tracks with a sign pointing towards a crash site. 

Either you shut yourself out and pass with flying colours, or you enjoy life and fail miserably. There’s no in between. Is it so hard to want to maintain a social life and a healthy relationship, while topping your class and achieving high honours? Perhaps it is. 

Noticing your sudden stillness, Riki panics. “You’re stressing out again. Why are you stressing out again? You’re doing well. Well, compared to me. Should I just do bio? Things with numbers are always complicated..” 

You laugh as he looks back at his noteless textbook. 

“Anyway, I think you’re doing just fine.” Riki murmurs, massaging your back with his hand. “Don’t overwork yourself and you’ll be fine. Just like you were, and always will be. Do you want me to test you?” 

“That’d be nice…” You smile, watching his eyes light up a little too eagerly when he closes his textbook. “But you’re just saying that so you don’t have to study anymore, right?”

how life be feeling rn, send prayers

[onsomenewsht]

now playing: Moon

< track 6 || fine.

》 Alexia Putellas x Reader, Leah Williamson x Reader (platonic), María Leon x Reader (platonic), Barcelona Femení x Reader

》 words count: +6k

》 how can I be dead to you / when we're looking at the same moon?

The second leg of the Champions League’s quarter final between Barcelona and Arsenal is scheduled ten days after the first one.

Ten days in which you do nothing but think about this game. About welcoming your former club in your new home. About the tactics and the plays that didn’t work out quite as you wished, about what to do and not do to be better.

About Alexia.

Alexia’s a constant thought, and for the first time since leaving Barcelona, you allow that thought to invade every single corner of your mind.

I hope you found what you left for

The conversation you had on your favourite spot replies over and over again in your head. Lying in your bed as you relive it all late at night or surprised by a sentence in the middle of practice, it’s always with you in some way. You let her smile pop up out of nowhere and let one of your own grow on your lips without a reason. You indulge yourself in speaking about your relationship, about her, about how you felt with her and how you feel without her.

You try to forgive yourself now you know she doesn’t hate you.

To the point you permit yourself to send a text to Eli and Alba and invite them to watch the game in the family and friends’ section of the Emirates Stadium. They obviously declined, but you didn’t expect them to actually take in your offer - it was a symbolic gesture.

However, the entire Putellas family accepts your invite out for dinner that same night, even if Alexia insists on paying since they just kicked you out of the Champions League.

“You’re my guests, I’m gonna pay”

“Vale, I’m paying next time then”, she smiles.

Despite all the analysis and the tactics and the effort the entire Arsenal team and staff put into the game, despite the immense support of the fans who fill the stadium and cheer from the start to the final whistle, you lose.

Tecnichally, you tie. Claudia manages an incredible equaliser in the eightieth minute, crushing your hopes as the harsh law of football enforces the advantage Barça needs to get through the semifinals.

Your former teammates are reluctant to come to you after the game, but you accept gracefully their hands and words of encouragement. The tension none of you realise is there dissipates as soon as Alexia invites you into a group hug, surrounding you in Blaugrana’s colours briefly before you escape with Claudia’s jersey.

“As a reminder you could be playing for another Champions League if you stayed?”

“No, as a reminder to never piss you off again”

María is unusually soft in her teasing, letting a few jabs pass by and taking you in her arms when she senses that you need a place to let go of your disappointment without getting caught by the cameras.

“No te pongas triste, nos veremos pronto” (Don’t be too sad, you will see me again soon)

“Don’t you dare ask me to be a bridesmaid or something”

“¡A la mierda!”, the defender’s laugh might be able to fill the now half empty stadium, “Pero te necesito para elegir mi traje” (But I need you around to pick my outfit).

“You still don’t know what to wear?”

“Necesito buen gusto de verdad, no puedo permitir a mi futura esposa de ayudarme” (I need someone with a real fashion sense, it’s not like I can let my future wife help me).

“Frido?”, you try to ask.

“Está de su parte” (She’s on Ingrid side)

“Alexia?”

You and María exchange a knowing look. The Catalan is the most helpful person in most situations, but definitely not the right one for this job.

You bid your goodbye with a promise of a trip back to Barcelona before the end of the season, an away kit in your hand and a plan for dinner with your ex’s family.

The atmosphere in the changing room is tense, your teammates are upset about the result and not really in the mood to talk.

“Well, we lost to them and ten days later we tie”, you manage to draw their attention to you, “next time we face them we’re gonna win”

It’s stupid, it’s a risky attempt to break the ice in the room, but the different and loud reactions you get from all the girls tell you you’re all gonna be fine - even if you have to dodge a pair of boots to prove it.

I hope you found what you left for

~

That day, that loss, somehow and in some twisted way, gives you permission to feel everything you need to feel.

You let yourself be upset about getting kicked out of the Champions League by your former team, but you also let yourself celebrate every single win with your new club. You let yourself feel the bittersweet taste of a second place in the championship, but you lift the FA Cup with the same excitement you lifted every trophy in Barcelona. You let yourself miss your teammates-turned-friends when you go each on your own ways for the off-season, but you also invite them to spend time at your place that feels every day more like home.

Leah is delighted to see more than a faded shadow of who you are, this new version of you every day more present and every day clearer.

“You know, Keira used to talk you up so much back when you played together”, she says as you try to pack everything you think you need in an oversized luggage.

You will pay the extra tax, better than being unprepared.

“I don’t meet the expectation?”

“Definitely not”, she ducks just in time to avoid a pair of socks.

“She described you as this outgoing, always up for a joke person, and we got a moody footballer who barely spoke to us outside of the training centre”

The English captain is not wrong, the first weeks in London were very challenging both physically and mentally as you tried to adapt to a different style of play and a different view of yourself.

I hope you found what you left for

It took you some time, Leah and all the other girls’ patience, an overwhelming heart to heart talk with your ex girlfriend, and a devastating loss to reveal the first results of your slow healing process.

“Look at me now”

“Yeah, I don’t have to force myself in here anymore. You even cook for me willingly”

“Well–”, you’re not as fast as her when she throws the socks back at you.

Luggage filled and closed, silence spreads in the room when both of you want to address something but you don’t want to start a conversation that’s most likely to make the other uncomfortable.

“Last meal?”

“I’m leaving for a week to Barcelona, not to a war zone”

“In some sense–”

You ignore the blonde, yet go into the kitchen to cook something for the two of you. She offered to help you pack and drive you to the airport tomorrow, the least you can do is feed her one more time before letting her on her own devices.

Alexia’s comfort meal is what you go for. The ingredients are the only ones available in your fridge, and, honestly, the food looks comforting to you too this time.

“I don’t mind this version of you”

“You’re such a good friend, Williamson, have I ever told you?”

“Several times actually”

You don’t think you are the same person you were back in Barcelona, but you don’t think that is a bad thing either.

Maybe you’re not as outgoing as you used to be and you don’t find yourself involved in all the jokes your friends plan, but you’re letting yourself relax around the people you feel close to and you don’t hide your emotions anymore - sad nor happy ones.

Not a shell anymore, you can feel this new version of you growing out and taking down the wall you built around yourself one brick at a time.

You left to find yourself, even if you had no idea where to start your search.

You keep finding some pieces you thought were lost forever, others you never realise weren’t with you anymore. Some pieces you drop along the way, others you carefully say goodbye to to be buried deep down. Some new pieces you pick up yourself, and right now, you don’t care if they will stay with you forever or just till you need them.

You’re moving and, wherever you’re heading, you’re finding yourself on the way.

“Do you want to come with me?”

Leah’s reaction to your question caught you off guard, she almost choked on the food she’s devouring as a famished kid.

“Did you just fucking ask me to be your plus one at a wedding the day before you leave for said wedding?”

“What can I say, I’m known for my perfect timing”

You hand her a glass of water, knowing she’s most likely able to see right through you even if your eyes are fixed on the now empty plate.

“Are you scared to go to your friend’s wedding alone?”

“I need a buffer”

“You need a bulletproof jacket”, she really sees right through you.

“You need a new knee but I’m not here pointing it out, am I?”

It’s not like you’re scared to attend María and Ingrid’s wedding alone, and it’s not like you need a comfort blanket to hold on while surrounded by your friends and former teammates and people from your life back in Barcelona.

“Look, I’m flattered, you’re cute at everything but—”

“Ew, no, if you don’t shut up right now I’m going to break your good knee”

Leah knows that’s not the reason why you’re asking her to be your plus one, she just wants to poke at you and get the words out of you.

It takes her a couple of more quips and annoying comments to let you admit the real reason.

“Mapi let slip Alexia’s taking someone”

“Oh, sweet little Trotter, you’re asking me to make two time Ballon d’Or winner Alexia Putellas jealous–”, she doesn’t have the time to end her sentence as you sprint toward her and she has a feeling you’re not joking anymore about kicking her.

~

Leah ends up taking you to the airport the next day, insisting to drop you off as a kid on their first day of school. You have a feeling she doesn’t accept your invitation because the short notice doesn’t give her the proper amount of time to pick the right outfit, nothing more.

Another English girl picks you up when you land under the barely raised Barcelona’s sun, you almost feel like they take turns to babysit you.

“Keira, not to sound ungrateful, but I genuinely can’t think of anything worse than being your guest”

“Ouch! Do you wanna be left on the side of the road?”

“I’ll be fine in my fancy hotel room by myself, really”

“By yourself, uhm?”

The seatbelt is the only thing preventing you from hitting your head on the dashboard, despite your best effort. Of course they gossip about you. Whatever you tell Leah, you know it’s like you tell Keira too and vice versa. You even found yourself in the middle of one of they’re gossip sessions once, your life is their favourite topic lately.

They’re lucky you can admit you own them your sanity.

“I don’t know who she’s bringing”

“I didn’t ask”, you scoff as if the question isn’t on the tip of your tongue for weeks.

Well, you’re gonna find out in a couple of hours anyway.

Keira reluctantly drops you at the hotel you’re staying at, voicing once more you could have stayed with her or any of your other friends who she knows offered their home.

Your former teammates are way nicer with you now they’re once again Champions League winners.

Maybe it’s also because you stopped hide and actually made an effort to stay in touch.

Both can be true.

Once settled in your room and ready to leave, you’re so anxious one could think you’re the one getting married as you retouch your makeup every five minutes and keep fixing non-existent creases in your maroon strapless dress. It’s a beautiful tailor-made piece you never found the excuse to wear till now.

It’s a call from María herself that stops you from spiralling again about the shape of your eyebrows.

“If this is a getaway call, you must know I have no car nor intention of helping you”

“Idiota! Dónde estás?” (Where are you?), she asks with a well hidden note of anxiety in her voice.

“I’m not gonna be late and take the spotlight away from you, don’t worry”

“¿Puedes venir aquí por favor?” (Can you come here, please?)

“María, I’m gonna kill you”, you state, sliding your heels on with one hand and calling the reception to hail a taxi with the other.

You stay with her on the phone the whole ride to the venue, thankfully just ten minutes away since you planned this visit meticulously to avoid any “accident”.

You definitely didn’t plan this though.

As you storm into the room your friend tells you to find her, you should have seen it coming.

“If you need a getaway car or a pep talk, you know I’m not the right person”

“¿No tienes un discurso para convencerme de casarme?” (You don’t have a speech to convince me to get married?)

“You don’t need a speech”

“Ay, no, no lo necesito” (No, I don’t), she confirmed as you take in the grin and the attire she’s wearing, “Pero tu sí” (But you do).

María is relaxed and ready to walk down the aisle, saying goodbye to who you think is the makeup and hair team. You could have punched her if not out of respect for the incredible job they did. Just then you notice all the people in the room, Alexia in the corner with a sympathetic smile on her perfectly traced lips.

She’s stunning.

The long royal blue dress she’s wearing shows just the right amount of tanned skin, gold jewellery complimenting her features and making Alexia glow in a way you will never forget.

“I told her it was a stupid idea”

You must have been frozen in place for a second too much.

“Quiero que te levantes y digas cosas bonitas, Nena” (I want you to stand up at some point to tell some nice things)

“Just ask like a fucking normal person, María!”

“Lo hice, dijiste que no” (I did, you said no)

“So you made me think you wanted to ditch the whole thing?”

“Estás aquí temprano, ¿no? Tienes tiempo de escribir un buen discurso” (You’re here early, aren’t you? You have time to write something good)

The relaxing methods your new therapist drilled into you the past weeks better work, you’re really close to making your friend get married with a black eye as payback for the heart attack she got you.

“You’re so lucky I love you”, you sigh as the defender kisses your cheek and leads the way out of the room.

Apparently, you better hurry up as your outbursts pushed the schedule five minutes back what it’s supposed to - much to the wedding planner’s annoyance.

Alexia slows down her pace to walk next to you as you follow the indications given to you.

“Finally”

“What?”

“I can finally see you in this dress”, her smile is way too honest for the day you’re both about to go through, “Worth the wait”.

-

The ceremony is short and sweet. You’re not sure how María Pilar León manages to stay still for so long, but Ingrid’s hand intertwined with hers the entire time must be the main reason.

There’s some sort of light surrendering your friends. It may be the stunning yet intimate venue they choose or the Barcelona sun hitting at the perfect moment as they smile at each other. It may be the love you can feel radiating from the couple or the support and genuine excitement all the people in the room are sharing for the occasion.

Whatever it is, you’re happy to be part of it.

María and Ingrid exchange their vows with tender words and silent promises you know they’re making to each other. At some point you even have to hold on Frido’s arm, sit on your left side, as you start to cry big tears that are most definitely ruining your makeup.

Feeling Alexia’s eyes on you the entire time is not helping.

You have no idea that the wedding photographer is snapping a couple of pictures of you and the other guests in their emotional state, as per Mapi’s request. It surprises you way later when the Spanish defender posts the photo on her socials on your birthday - you block her for a month just to spite her.

When the sun sets and you manage to compose yourself a bit, the party starts and Ingrid takes it upon herself to make you lose your composure, handing you the first drink of the day.

You’re pretty sure the wedding planner hates you as he finds out you’re not only the reason why arranging seats and tables was so unnecessarily difficult, but he also has to brief you at the last minute about the little moments they planned and when you’re supposed to make your speech.

You know for sure he hates you when you tell him you actually still have to write it down so a delay in the schedule is needed. He leaves you with some paper, pen and cursed words.

It looks like everyone wants to talk to you and you find yourself the centre of attention way more times you’re comfortable with, even more than the newlyweds - much to their amusement.

A lifesaver comes in the form of Lucy Bronze, the buffer you didn’t know you needed, but you’re glad is around to help you deal with the Spanish excitement that surrounds you all over.

The English girl, who you now understand is the bonus member of the blonde squad that for some reason hunts you, is acting as your personal bodyguard since Keira is already not sober enough to be helpful.

“Please, tell me you wrote your speech”, Lucy’s eyeing your second refill of the day.

It’s an open bar, after all, you’re not letting María’s mother warm embrace and some girl you don’t remember the name of - but met maybe twice while celebrating a trophy’s win - messing with your mind more than what you’re already doing by yourself.

“I wrote a complaint and a draw of a monkey throwing shit”

“Classy, I can’t wait to see what you’ll go for”

“I told María fucking Engen-León not making me do a fucking speech”

Pages of scribbled words later, you’re back in Barcelona for your best friends’ wedding with no speech, no idea of what you’ll say and not sober enough to write down anything nice about a certain defender.

“Language, por favor”

You almost drop your glass when you feel Alexia’s hand on your back to get your attention and a teasing grin on her face. The desire to trace her lips with your finger is stronger now the first drinks are hitting.

“She can still scold you?”

“You have no idea the things she can still do to me, Bronze”, you mutter as you practically bottom down your drink.

“Can I steal you for a moment?”, she asks with a softer smile.

“I’m pretty sure the words were–”

Lucy doesn’t have time to finish her sentence as both you Alexia hit her without taking your eyes off each other. She gets the hint and leaves with a laugh.

“My date wants to say hi”

You’re pretty sure her words just triggered a malfunction in your already damaged brain. You could have been less shocked if she had asked to marry her right now and there.

“What?”

“Vien conmigo” (Just come with me)

Alexia is way too amused for your liking, but you follow her lead without real hesitation - leaving behind your empty glass and probably what’s left of your sanity.

As the two of you approach the table her family is sitting at, her hand finds a place on your back in a comforting way when you spot Eli, Alba and another tiny brunette you immediately know is about to make you cry.

The kid is too focused on her drawing to notice the two approaching, Alba nudges her, and the little girl retorts back with a hit. As soon as you are spotted, the colourful paper and the annoying woman are both forgotten.

Alexia’s little cousin, Zoe, comes at you at full speed and you’re able to welcome her into your arms fast enough just thanks to your professional athlete’s reflexes.

You hold on to her green dress as the girl jumps in your arms, too excited to see you again after more than a year to realise she’s speaking rapidly at you.

“En español, monita, por favor”, Alexia intercepts.

“¡Estás aquí!” (You’re here)

“Yeah, estoy aquí”

Alexia can’t hold back a laugh as you try to keep up with the little girl’s energy, who is set to tell you everything she has done since the last time she saw you. You were around when Zoe was barely old enough to walk properly.

Four years is a long time when you’re as young as the kid is.

The two of you were a pair who always managed to drive Alexia crazy and fill her heart with love at the same time.

“Ale me dijo que ya no vivis juntos, ahora tu juegas para Inglaterra” (Ale told me you don’t live together anymore, you play for England now)

“Juego para un equipo inglés” (I play for an english club)

“¡El equipo rojo! Pregunté Ale tu camiseta” (The red one! I asked Ale for your jersey)

“¡Ay, ¿de verdad?!” (Oh, did you really?), you notice Alexia’s blush immediately, keeping up the teasing thanks to the little girl.

You manage to calm Zoe enough to make her sit back. She’s mostly on your legs as the two of you keep talking and taking turns picking colours. All under the watchful sight of Alexia, who was instructed to sit down too by her cousin.

When the draw is finished and signed, you can feel the young mind running. The little frown in the middle of the forehead is a sight you’re way too familiar with.

“Qué está pensando, monita?” (What’s on your mind?)

“¿Estás de vuelta?” (You’re back in Barcelona?)

Alexia tries to divert the conversation, sensing her cousin is about to ask or say some things that are way too difficult to explain - despite being such easy questions. However, you smile and nod to let her know you can deal with it.

“He vuelto para Mapi’s boda y podemos celebrarlo juntos” (I’m back for Mapi’s wedding, so we can celebrate together)

“Lo sé, Ale me dijo que estarías aquí y quería saludarte” (I know, Ale told me you could be back and I wanted to say hi)

“Siento haber desaparecido, intentaré venir saludar más” (I’m sorry I disappeared, I’ll try to come say hi more when I can)

“¿Prometes?” (You promise?), Zoe holds up a tiny finger, mimicking a gesture you taught her years ago.

You wrap your pinky around hers firmly, shaking it three times. It’s another promise you’re not going to break.

“Tienes que prometerlo a Ale también, ella te echa de menos” (You have to promise Ale too, she miss you)

“Lo sé” (I know)

The way Zoe is tracing coloured lines around her drawing is a tell that she still has a lot of questions for you, probably not satisfied enough with the answers she got from Alexia.

The pair of you spent a lot of time with the kid as you always encouraged the Catalan to spend as much time as possible with her extended family too, knowing it pained her to have a little cousin who looks up at her with such admiration but not actually seeing her much.

Also, babysitting Zoe was so fun for you and an excuse to tease Alexia in so many ways you took the chance on any possible occasion.

“¿Aún la amas?” (You still love her?)

The chair you’re sitting in is strong enough to keep you still even if the entire room is spiralling, and you’re pretty sure there’s a huge hole under your expensive heels. You caught Alexia’s panicked face out of the corner of your eye too.

It takes you a moment, but when you answer Zoe’s question you’re the most sure you have ever been in the past year or so.

“Siempre la amaré” (I’ll always love her)

~

Ironically enough, the wedding planner is the one saving you from yourself and the innocent questioning of a kid.

You stand in your designated spot with a microphone in one hand and a piece of paper in the other - blank if not for the doodles you let Zoe draw on it. You will play the part, props at all.

There may be no speech planned or intention to do one in the first place, but you know what to talk about when talking about love.

After a short introduction of who you are - even if almost everyone knows you for some reason or other - and a couple of football related jokes, you manage to buy yourself enough time to find a pair of soft eyes in the crowd.

You saw María and Ingrid growing a supportive and caring relationship, you know both of them enough to describe how wonderful their love is and even landing some good jokes on Mapi’s expenses.

You know how being in love feels like enough to get some people emotional, you know how being loved feels like enough to make some other cry.

“Finally, I would like to propose a toast”, you raise your glass and wink at the wedding planner - he may have had a heart attack during a questionable part of your speech, but you definitely saw him shed a tear or two at the end.

“To Ingrid, who is one of the thoughtful human beings I have the honour to look up to in my life. You don’t even need words to let people understand your love for them, it’s the most important thing you taught us and the one I’ll try the most to remember when my mind and my mouth will fighting against each other”

The Norwegian woman looks at you with a warm smile as she raises her own glass, reaching for her wife’s hand.

“To María, who is one of the most annoying human beings I have the privilege to call family. You taught us that everyone deserves to be respected and taken care of, that you don’t even need to know someone to make them feel welcome. I’ll never forget you proved it to me the very first day we met, and I’ll keep trying to grant myself the same care you unconditionally show me”

Your friend is crying as you smile at her, trying to let her understand how much you appreciate everything she did and does for you, how much you appreciate her firm support despite her opinion on your choices.

“To everyone here, who is witnessing a celebration of love that’s never going to fade as we’ll keep it alive”

Alexia’s eyes on you make you believe your own words more than anything else.

~

As the night progresses, most of the guests are gone. The ones still standing are the closest to the couple and the ones who managed to take the most advantage of the open bar.

You’re obviously among those.

The break from dancing you treat yourself with is filled with rapid words from Ona, Lucy, Aitana and Keira, all engaged in a conversation about your performance at Arsenal and how you can do better next season.

It’s not really talk shop as they’re making fun of you and the unfortunate episode that saw you tripping on the ball while attempting a quite impressive shot outside the box.

You found your footing and the back of the net shortly after, so their amusing is quite frankly unnecessary if you can say yourself.

“Mary let that ball pass ‘cause she was laughing so much, that’s all”

“Fuck you, Bronze!”

“She’s right, I saved the video and I watch it every time I miss you”

“You’re worse than Mapi”, you don’t dignify Keira with an answer as you leave the group to refill your drink.

“Lo siento en mi corazón cuando hablas de mi” (I can feel in my heart when you’re talking about me)

Out of nowhere, María appears in front of you, and as the magician she apparently is tonight, it makes your glass disappear, all while dragging you toward the bubble of loud dancing guests.

You could be mad at her if not for the genuine laughs that are surrounding you, making you miss those girls but convincing you to enjoy this occasion even more.

“Gracias por hoy, Nena” (Thank you for today)

“Estoy tan feliz por ti” (I’m so happy for you)

You don’t know if it’s the alcohol, the beautiful day you’re having or the fact your best friends just got married and you couldn’t be happier for them, but you sense this is an emotional moment for the two of you.

The Spaniard holds you in her arms firmly, whispering barely loud enough for you to hear, “I want you to be happy too”

“I’m getting there”

The moment ends when the soft smiles on both your faces turn into grins and then open laughs as you start getting loose around all your friends.

You accept Jana’s hand gracefully as she drags you between her and Claudia, the two dancing as no one is watching and taking you down in a mindless movement of arms and hair.

“Still no rhythm at all”

You’re sure you’re drunk enough to imagine Alexia’s hands on your waist as she gets closer to make fun of you.

To be fair, out of the two of you, the Catalan is the one with the worst moves. She is just lucky to be incredibly sexy as she dances.

“You were sober enough to remember that night out after our first Champions League”

“¡Ajá, cállate! Someone tripped me”

“Yeah, your own feet”

The music is loud and the bodies around move in a way that you have to stay basically pressed on her to keep the teasing conversation going.

At least that’s what you tell yourself as you grip her arm to let a carefree laugh out.

“You were sober enough to kiss me that same night, what does that say about you?”

“That I have the worst timing ever!”

You mean nothing but the truth, Alexia knows and she keeps you close despite your friends trying to involve you in a group dance - the two of you too wrapped in your own bubble to notice.

Keira does though and she openly calls you out on your behaviour, reminding you this may not be the best time or place to dance with your ex girlfriend as this is your own wedding.

~

The party slows down late in the evening, the last guests bidding their goodbyes and congratulating the happy couple once again.

You’re next to María as she hugs Alba - Eli and Zoe declared the night over a while ago. The defender’s hair is messed up, and a thin sheet of sweat from the dancing and the emotion of the day is covering her forehead. She never looked better.

“When are you leaving?”, the younger girl asks when is your turn to hug her.

“I’ll stay for a couple of days, I planned the off-season under the Italian sun”

“¡Vale!, you can come at dinner one of those”

“I’ll see what I can do”, you smile as you lightly push Alba and her knowing smirk away.

When you admit the day is officially over for you too, María and Ingrid both wrap you in a tight embrace to shower you with kisses and rapid words of gratitude in three different languages you’re way too tired to even try to understand.

At least you can tell they’re happy about your speech.

“I can take you to your hotel”

“You keep offering me rides, you sure you’re not thinking of a career change?”

“I don’t see myself getting a taxi license anytime soon”, Alexia’s attempt at a serious tone is making you giggle way too much for such a simple joke.

The walk toward her car is a silent one and it doesn’t turn uncomfortable when you get cosy in the passenger seat, taking your heels off with a sigh of relief.

The Catalan smiles as she remembers you tend to drop your manners when happily exhausted.

You look at her changing her shoes, a pair of sneakers always in the car for a safe ride, and you keep your eyes on her as she connects her phone to select a playlist.

It’s a ten minute ride at best, but she has not asked where you’re staying, and you’re too curious to find out what she’s planning to point it out.

You’re content and tired enough to admit every minute more you get to spend with Alexia is a win in your book.

She’s the one breaking the silence, turning the volume down a bit and keeping her gaze on the street even if the traffic light in front of you is glowing her features bright red.

“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable with Zoe”

“I was happy to see her again, she’s getting so tall”

“Yeah”

“Lo siento” (I’m sorry)

Leaving Barcelona meant leaving Alexia, but it was your choice.

And it was your choice to leave every single one who reminds you of her too. Ignoring your friends and finding excuses to not face the consequences of your disappearing. Avoiding Eli and Alba’s calls, too ashamed of the pain you inflicted on the most important person in their life.

It was all your choice.

“We broke up, I didn’t expect you to keep in touch with my family”

“You didn’t expect me to break up with you in the first place”

Alexia turns to look at you for the first time since the ride started, no one behind you calling out to move as the light turns from red to green to red again.

“I can be held accountable for my own choices, Alexia”, you nod at her as she restarts the car to a still unknown destination.

“I was honest with Zoe”

“Lo sé”

“Tú eres mi corazón, te amaré por siempre” (You’re my heart, I will always love you)

“Lo sé”

A full moon high in the dark sky, the view from your windows is getting unfamiliar, but the woman next to you seems to know exactly where she’s going. The pace she’s keeping is slow enough to calm your nerves but fast enough to keep you awake.

There are so many things you want to say, so many useless apologies and unnecessary confessions on the tip of your tongue.

It could be so much easier if she’d hate you.

“I knew you would leave”

“What?”

“I knew you would leave, I knew you found the ring”

Her words manage to steal the breath from your lungs and stop the rhythm of your heart, you go from feeling nothing to everything in a split second. The music is suddenly too loud, the fancy car is crushing on you, and your own body is failing to respond to your commands.

Alexia immediately notices your distress, stopping on the side of the road and lowering your window to let the fresh night air hit your face. She wants to touch you, to ground you as she learned to do, but she’s aware she may make things worse.

You reach for her hand, holding on to her as a lifeline and she does everything she needs to to take you back.

“Sorry, I didn’t see that coming”, you say when you’re ready to think properly again, your attempt to joke landing just because Alexia knows you well enough to understand what you need right now.

“Yo–”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“¿Por qué no lo hiciste tú?” (Why didn’t you?)

The million dollar question, why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you let her know? Why didn’t you just talk with her about your feelings and your fears?

You pay your therapist enough to answer those questions for you.

“I don’t think it could have changed anything”

“You couldn’t know”

“And I’ll never, it’s all done now”

You need her to hate you, you need her to hate you and not want to do anything with you ever again.

You need her to leave you.

Not like you left Barcelona, you need her to leave you behind and move on. It’d be so much easier.

Instead, you’re both moving on and you both are still moving in the same direction.

“You would have said sí”, it’s not a question.

“Of course”

You realise you’re still holding on to her just when the Catalan squeezes your hand three times, keeping you grounded and keeping herself together. Your confirmation is both unnecessary and needed, hurting and comforting.

“I want you to love yourself as much as I do”

“I’m trying”

It’s a whisper, it’s a confession you’re not sure you’re ready to hear yourself.

“I’ll be here when you’re ready”

“Alexia, no–”

“Sí”, she drops your hand just to firmly hold your face, guiding your gaze and your tears filled eyes on hers, “I’ll be here when you’re ready, here in Barcelona or wherever here will mean for us”

“I can’t ask you that”

“You’re not asking”

Tears are falling freely now, her thumb tracing your flushed cheeks and your fists holding desperately on her dress. The position you both are in is uncomfortable, the air from the open window tickles your neck, and Alexia’s honesty is crushing your heart, but you never felt better.

“I know you could do whatever I ask, stay in Barcelona or marry me. I need you to know I could do whatever you ask too”

“Then we’re stuck”

“No, we’re both moving”

“You wanna see where we end up?”

“Wherever it will be, we’ll find each other”

replay to start from track 1 >

[strazki]

School Bus Graveyard headcanons no one asked for but will still get 😤

Ashlyn has autism. Honestly pretty much canon at this point, considering what we've seen of her, but still

The whole group took a hot second to adjust, but they are now so accommodating to it

Obviously there's the noise issues, but they also recognize when she needs to be alone, and they don't bother her too much about her being so asocial

I’m projecting but I just love these guys

ANYWAY, on a completely different subject, I think Taylor is actually a really good singer! She's just very shy about it

I also think Aiden can definitely play drumset

Top that off with Tyler canonically playing guitar, all you need to do is give Ben a bass or something and then they're basically just a little band!

I think they would be called the Phantoms or some shit like that

Ashlyn can do backup vocals, and I love my boy Logan but he's giving stage manager vibes a little bit lol

Someone's gotta do it

Taylor and Tyler share their clothes all the time. We already see that they have the same room, which most likely means the same closet, and since the two of them have a relatively similar build (and thus, similar clothing sizes), they just don't really bother separating their clothes (probably why they're matching so often)

Aiden does so much stupid rich kid shit. Not obnoxiously, but just out of a lack of understanding

Probably says some shit to the others like "Wait, your parents didn't get you a car? I know we can't drive yet, but you can still like... take pictures with it."

Bro has no idea he's that rich

The twins absolutely love going over to Ashlyn's place to get self-defense training from Mike and Emma. With their father being gone for a while, and their mom being not all there (for lack of a better description), it's been a long time since they've had a stable parental figure in their lives

Ashlyn's parents are just so nice to them and treat them like their own kids. I just think it's something they needed in their life that they found in an unexpected place :(

Ben loves to paint! He took up art and drawing ever since he lost his voice, and finds painting specifically very calming

He's been working on portraits for each of his friends that are all lying half-finished around his room

Even when he finishes them, though, he probably wouldn't show them for a while because he's quite nervous about it

If he DOES show them, he would definitely give Taylor her's first, because that's who he feels closest to

She cries

I feel like Logan, with working at the flower shop and all that, probably spends a bit of time putting together little bouquets for his friends

Not as like a grand show of affection, but just little gifts to show his appreciation for them being around and caring about him

Probably personalizes them a LOT too. Not only does he coordinate them to match the favorite colors/flowers of the person he's making them for, but he knows all the symbolic meanings behind each flower

Like, for example, I bet he gets yellow roses for Ben to signify friendship, and pink roses for Ashlyn to signify gratitude, that sort of stuff

His love language is gift giving and he's never had friends as close as these guys, leave him alone >:[

Okay that's all I got right now send tweet

[marzipanandminutiae]

Hey Marzi could that black silk afternoon gown from 1875 that you reblogged be considered a mourning dress? I’m still trying to figure out how mourning attire worked

This one?

Could be, yeah! In a certain context only, though.

So, the way Victorian mourning often seems to have worked in practice was kind of like...having a black cocktail dress that you could wear to your aunt's funeral but also out for drinks with friends. It's very dependent on context and accessories, because black was a popular color for women's clothing in general (just like it is now).

Really, despite what listicles often want to say, there are a VERY small number of extant gowns that could only ever have been For Mourning SpecificallyTM. The rules varied, but it tended along the lines of "in the first, deepest phase of mourning, you wear only black with no other accent colors and nothing shiny or sparkly, including shiny silk-satin." People often forget the No Shiny rule in rushing to label all black dresses Mourning. Then later on, you could start adding back in shine and accent colors, generally white, purple, mauve, and sometimes red depending on where and when you lived.

Except those were also popular accent colors for non-mourning black clothing. And non-shiny black dresses existed in other contexts, too.

Yeah. You can see where this gets confusing for modern researchers.

Accessories played a big role in showing mourning- important, because the whole point of formalized mourning was to convey "be gentle; I'm going through something hard." Matte black jewelry, as from bog oak, jet, or sometimes hardened rubber later on in the 19th century, especially with certain symbols. Anything with a willow and urn motif. A hand holding a wreath. A piece of jewelry marked with someone's name and their age/the year when they died. Sometimes, but not always, jewelry with skulls and skeletons (sometimes that's just because they thought those motifs looked cool). Wearing a veil was also a great way to show mourning, in context with everything else- it's now often associated with especially widows in the mid-19th century.

(It was even harder for men at times, since black suits were wildly popular. Sometimes a black armband would be worn, or strictest matte black in all jewelry like collar and cuff studs. But I've actually read etiquette manuals that are like "it's really hard for men to show that they're in mourning; oops.")

I feel like the idea of formalized mourning is so foreign to us now that we've gotten a little bit overexcited and forgotten that, if it doesn't make sense to us to buy a whole new wardrobe when someone dies, that was probably true back then as well- and if we like black clothing in non-mourning contexts, they probably did, too. You can find advertisements for retailers selling mourning clothes, so people definitely did buy new things for the occasion at times- but they also made good use of what they already had, just like we do now. And wore those same outfits with different contextualizing accessories when mourning was over.

Oh, and the notion that there was a strict, specific term of time you HAD to mourn for different losses in your life, and everyone knew the term and was keeping score? Not as much a thing either. I've read a few books that do proscribe a specific term for different relatives or loved ones who've died, but most also specify that mourning is highly personal and the length that one might mourn varies from person to person. Also, no, widowers were not only required to mourn for a year while widows mourned for two: I found that in a couple of books, but far more that advised the same minimum length of mourning for both losses. There might be judgmental people who thought you Hadn't Mourned For Long Enough, but that's not quite the same as a strict, universally-accepted rule.

And there were all sorts of exceptions- a bride was generally advised to cast off mourning for her wedding day (although one could get married in a black dress, so I guess that just means accessorizing in a more normal way), keeping children in mourning for too long- or sometimes at all! -was believed to be too hard on their little minds during a time of stress...it was all a lot more malleable than we often think nowadays.

Hope this helps!

[vampiriccreature]

Dmc 3 Dantes design is AMAZING in a storytelling aspect but does NOT work outside of dmc3 AND I’M SICK OF SEEING IT USED IN CROSSOVER MEDIAS !!!!!!

Long ass yap under cut

Dante has always been one for over the top outfits and designs. In the dmc1 novel one of the first sentences is talking about how Dante is flamboyant. At the end of dmc3 we see he has his dmc1 outfit on with all the layers and vest and everything. NOT shirtless.

At the start of dmc3 bro was getting out of the shower, like you hear the water and the shower faucet. You see the water droplets and steam coming off of Dante. And when he answers the phone he says the shop isn’t open yet. Dude was having a lazy day.

Dante did not have time to put on a shirt, he wasn’t planning on going out anywhere or doing anything, he was just eating pizza and chilling. I see SO MANY people (including cannon media like the dmc3 manga) just assume he regularly does not wear a shirt…. like he does! he just didn’t have time to put one on before Arkhams bitchass showed up with his demons.

Don’t even get me started on those pants…. light brown has never been a part of Dante’s color scheme so light brown pants definitely seem weird right? Also he had no belt despite clearly needing one.

Like look at this render, you can see how far his hip is from his pants. He probably just threw on some old pair without thinking about it. And with no belt too, every other version of Dante has at LEAST one belt. So seeing Dante in light brown pants, alone with no belt is definitely strange.

Yet it WORKS SO WELL for the overall design in 3. Reducing the amount of black in his color scheme to better focus on the red and establish him as a much lighter character compared to Vergil ties in perfectly with the dark reflection trope Vergil and Dante play into.

The most iconic thing about Dantes design has always been that red coat. No argument there. So taking away the rest of Dantes more extravagant parts of his design to better focus on the coat is perfect especially for dmc3. Another thing that ties back into the dark reflection trope of Dantes and Vergil is that cutting down on Dantes design makes Vergil and Dantes personalities reflect in their designs so much more. Vergil is very well kept, with a much more complicated outfit and slicked back hair. So Dante being the opposite of that with a lack of shirt, pants that don’t match, no belt, etc. (while still being flamboyant with that red coat) shows their differences in maturity.

You look at this guy and you KNOW he put so much time and effort into his look. He exudes elegance and effort. Meanwhile Dante’s just thrown on a coat and called it a day.

My point is. This design is great for the storytelling aspect of dmc3 as well as the symbolism and metaphors in dmc3. However, we know Dante doesn’t usually dress like this. He wears shirts. So I get personally annoyed when I see Dante portrayed as that one dude who never wears a shirt. I head cannon that around the shop when he has nothing planned he won’t wear a shirt (saves money on the water bill cuz less laundry) but if he plans to go out or have the shop open or whatever, he’s putting on the full fit. Shirt, belt, coat, and plenty of other accessories.

Also here’s the second paragraph from the dmc1 novel cuz I just love how he’s described not only as flamboyant but also adorned with a lot of jewelry:

[nerdranttheories]

Okay I’m going to geek out about Toshinori’s costume designs because I’m an English major and analyzing tiny details in text is what we do and also I love??? The designs! And each one tells us so much about All Might and his focus during each costume.

Costume 1 (Young Might):

So first off, despite young All Might’s longtime dream of being a hero, his suit is mostly black. A stark difference from comics books and his later self which tend to be bright primary colors. The few dashes of primary colors he has are desaturated, even in the second instance where we see this costume. This would have likely been the only costume Toshinori designed himself, as David became his designer in college.

Obviously, others have pointed out the similarities to Nana’s suit, just like how Izuku copied AM’s, so I don’t think it will be necessary for me to point that out. But this suit is also very practical. Something the flashy All Might isn’t really known for, but let me point the details out. He has boots, gauntlets, as well as what appears to be protection for his upper torso, and even for his neck. A decent balance between more protection and more weight, which would slow a hero down. Also, unlike Nana’s suit, his extends completely down the arms. The only skin surface available is that of his hands, something that stays the same through all of his costumes and as such, must be something he personally insists on. In media, gloves often represent someone with secrets, or a guarded personality. All Might not wearing gloves shows how open he is, not just with his friends but strangers too. And it’s humble, too. It’s not an unfeeling, covered hand extending to you when you’re in danger, it’s the bare-handed reach of a friend, and I fully believe that’s why Toshi goes without gloves. Also it’s possibly a sensory thing for him as well, which goes with my canon-supported theory that this man has ADHD, but that’s a nerd rant for another time.

The colors are important because while obviously they mimic Nana, you can practically see through the color choice that Toshinori is not in his right mindset here. While later the oversaturation of colors serves to show how his own heroism has made him into something Else, and outside of his own head, leaving the man inside to shrivel away, these muted colors show that Toshinori has not yet blossomed. Also in the brief scenes we see of him when he is younger, Toshinori is very solemn. The one scene we get of him smiling when he’s young is when Izuku is comparing them at the same age, and even then, it’s more of a smirk as opposed to the signature All Might grin we all know and love. Black also is just a reasonable color for something like crime-fighting. Black shows the least grime/dirt, so he could reasonably spend more hours out in this costume without having to come home and wash it/trade it out. (Which is something that I love that this series includes, by the way!)

Costume 2-ish:

Toshinori adds some shoulder pads for the fight with AFO, probably expecting to stand side-by-side with his mentor. I could give a more full-body image but this is really the only difference I could pick out.

Costume 3 (College Might):

This is the first costume of All Might’s that is designed by David Shield.

First off, props to David. He’s an awesome designer. He not only made a new design, but incorporated several choices from AM’s previous suit, and definitely conferred a lot with Toshi on how he wanted his suit to look while still ensuring its functionality.

Black is traded for a dark, unsaturated blue, giving AM a more peaceful look, as navy blue is considered to be a calming color. (Even Endeavor wears it! But maybe copying AM and not wearing it for the same purposes?) All Might’s cape is also changed from red to blue, taking away the dark look and making it the color of the sky, again adding to that Symbol of Peace idea that is Toshinori’s dream. The gauntlets and boots remain, but the chest-piece has been removed, offering up more mobility. The yellow of his belt has been brightened, and added in place of the blues on his gauntlets and boots, giving him an overall more friendly look as opposed to the more subdued one he had before with the blue accents. The red has been removed as well, and by moving it to his body, it gives the impression of veins and the blood that is pumping away through the heart of this hero, which is fantastic for someone who cares as much as Toshinori does. White was also added vertically on the sides of the suit, thinning out the very intimidating form of Toshi and making him more approachable, while adding a more pure look to his overall form. This appears to be in part, a stylistic choice on David’s end that follows through to the other suits, though it’s hard to know if it remains on the Bronze Age Suit as well.

Overall the brighter colors telegraph that Toshinori is doing much better mentally at this point. He now has A Friend, and for the time being, is safer from the troubles at home, until he has to return.

Costume 4 (Bronze Age):

We don’t even get a full look at this suit, indicating that its time in use was likely short-lived. As I’ve seen others suggest, it seems very likely that when All Might returned to Japan, he went straight down to business and began doing vigilante work as he tried to track down AFO. However, possibly due to a combination of not finding him and All Might’s rising popularity, he seems to abandon this track and move on to a different form of heroism, which his suit symbolizes. I’ll briefly point out that Toshinori returns to the primarily black suit he had as a teenager, as well as the shadows of his face that add to the idea that as soon as he got back to Japan, he reverted to the mindset he had when he left.

Costume 5 (Silver Age):

This suit indicates to me that this period was All Might’s prime, despite his later suit being considered the Golden Age of All Might. (And even though it’s my least-favorite design.) He has the typical cape of a hero, and the bright colors are now fully of typical comic book style. The circular design on his chest indicates a target, but with being cast in white and surrounded in red, gives the impression that he himself is not the target, but the villainy around him is. Or at least, that is likely the thought process for this design. Other than the dashes of white here and there, the colors are very solid, possibly indicating a more stable, but single-minded train of thought, something AM is notorious for. No offense to Dr. Shield, but I would have mixed the colors better in here, and the cape connection is too bulky for someone who’s as jacked in the shoulders as Toshinori is. Alas, I am not the designer. We shall move on.

Costume 6 (Golden Age):

I love this suit. Plenty of analysis has been done on it already, but I think it’s a fantastic representation of how Toshinori’s been crushed under the very image he had originally wanted to create. His shadows are darkest and most severe here, reminiscent of how body-builders dehydrate themselves to get the best appearance of their musculature. His posing is also more inward, as opposed to the silver age, with the angles of his elbows being less directly out and more in, and instead of appearing confident, it’s more of how a cat puffs out its hair to make itself appear larger when it’s scared. I had a long bit to go with this but it was eaten by the Tumblr gremlins. Basically I believe this suit was made post AFO-battle. All Might is declaring he’s not finished yet, all while knowing his time is running out. This suit has several callbacks to the original suit David designed for him, with the navy, though more saturated base and the red lines running throughout the form, though the gauntlets and boots from before have been integrated into the suit itself. This could reflect David’s mindset as well, as he reminisces about the days when Toshinori was healthy and happy, when now Toshinori’s health is rapidly fading.

Anyway, here’s my costume analysis! I think it adds a little more insight to Toshinori’s mental state and situations in the years outside of the show as well as in them, and I hope you enjoyed this read! I’d love to hear other ideas too, if anyone has them!

[dokidokitsuna]

Beast Jacket | Glass Diamond

I drew this to celebrate that I FINALLY FINISHED THE FIRST DRAFT of the NeverFell Projects’ first installment. The script is 20 pages long, and I haven’t even added the design breaks yet…is this shaping up to be my first hour-long video…??

In any case, it’s still just a first draft, and it will definitely need some more work before I even start recording it. After I have a nice long break to reset the ol’ brain, of course. ^^

So these designs are successors to these two from before: Adam basically just went shopping for a more protective coat (which he wears on top of his previous outfit) and new shoes. Cinder, on the other hand, jumped into a totally new look as usual. ^^ I love that she’s the Barbie of the RWBY universe, and I’m more than happy to feed the stereotype by giving her lots of different designs~. 

This is my answer to her V7 outfit, where she loses the reds in her design as the ‘flame goes out’. Unlike the V7 outfit, however, this design's symbolism is intentional, as Cinder puts this on when she’s at her lowest point. I like to imagine she was meditating over the direction of her life while she crafted all that glass armor…

Anyway, speaking of direction-- just so I don’t forget (and as a small preview of what I’m working on~) here’s some things I hope to improve with my next draft of this proto-story:

1] Emphasizing reciprocity As in, Adam helps Cinder develop AND Cinder helps Adam develop; it’s supposed to be a two way street. Unfortunately, I think the tail end of the story kinda paints Adam as the ‘savior’ in this relationship…and his lingering superiority complex does not help. ^^;

It may be because he goes through a whole arc over the course of the story, while Cinder just starts hers in the last act, but I think if I just add a bit more introspection on Adam’s part, I can probably fix this. I mean, despite having a more stable sense of self that he can rely on, Adam is clearly the weaker half of this partnership-- he gets beaten up twice in a row while Cinder just keeps coming back stronger despite her suffering. Add to that the fact that Cinder can read him like a book and does so constantly, and there’s no reason Adam has to come off as her superior if I’m actually doing my job as a writer. ^^;;

2] Cinder’s turning point I’m afraid that she might have fallen into the classic writing pitfall of “having a bunch of bad things happen to her and then suddenly changing her mind”...y’know, without a clear line of reasoning that takes her from “this is painful but necessary” to “this isn’t okay anymore”. It’s the difference between a character simply running away from something scary (like any animal can do…) vs. actually developing as a person.

There is a final conversation at the end of the story that I was supposed to use to make this clear, but I think I got too caught up in making it ‘realistic’ and establishing Adam and Cinder’s future dynamic. Which was admittedly very fun, but at the same time there’s probably a reason why it feels like a lightweight conclusion to a heavyweight story, and I’ll have to correct that eventually. :T

[egrets-not-regrets]

Guesthouse of the (Lost) Astartes: To Render Aid (1)

Erriox and Lenora provide aid to a lost chaos space marine and his young bonded human.

Dialogue spoken in Gothic are bolded and italicized.

Author's Note: this is part 1 of the multi-part story. Here is Part 2, Part 3. and Part 4.

This fic is turning out to be very long, so I've divided it into two parts. It focuses on the relationship of a chaos space marine who is intensely bonded to his human and touches upon the issue with Black Templars bonding with humans.

Erriox is a responsible space marine and does responsible things. And no, he definitely does not do it for his bonded human's approval.

Thank you @squishyowl for making the fic dividers!

OCs: Lenora; Erriox (Iron Warrior); Ben; Malaran Blackspike (Black Legion)

Tagged: @kit-williams, @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @shadowfirecat, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan,

@sleepyfan-blog, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k

Lenora had a sense that something was wrong just as Erriox barged into the house. 

“Bring blankets and a medi-pack. He has an injured child.” He told her as he urged whoever he was leading to come inside the house. She swore and immediately went to her linen closet, drawing out a few bath towels and blankets, and set them onto the couch and one of the blankets on the ground. Erriox had already pushed away the coffee table to make more room. Lenora then went to get the first aid kit from her backpack. The other space marine stood there, unsure and wary of all the activity, only holding his bundled charge tighter against his armour. 

When Lenora returned, she finally got a proper look at the new ‘guests’. The space marine was a chaos marine, she recognized the symbolism of the eight-pointed star with the red eye that decorated his worn and battered armour. He looked like he had seen better days and had good reasons to be wary. She worried about the human he carried mostly. It was still in the thick of winter, and very likely this person would be suffering from some degree of hypothermia. Even bundled in that blanket or cape, it was not enough to insulate from this biting cold for long. 

“We should call and get them to a hospital.” She said to Erriox, about to pull out her phone. 

“NO!” the chaos marine roared, about to leap forward to stop her. He didn’t know what she was saying, but he saw the phone that she was reaching for. Erriox snarled back, immediately shoving Lenora behind himself. Movement coming from the bundle in the chaos marine’s arms and a disconnected whine caught all their attention. 

“Or-? Wha- s- wha- s-m going on?” The person in his arms was young, teen or a bit older perhaps, by the way they sounded. Lenora let out a breath of relief. Good. At least they were awake, somewhat. 

She called out to them, slowly moving out from behind her Iron Warrior, his hand still preventing her from moving too far forward, “Hey buddy, I’m Lenora and this is my Astartes, Erriox. You’re at my house. Erriox brought you guys here to get you help. Do you understand me?” 

The teen mumbled, “S… cold…” 

“I know hun, we’re gonna take care of you. What’s your name?” She cooed comfortingly. 

“Ben.”

“Okay, Ben. I’m going to have these guys help warm you up okay? 

“K.”

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” She asked. 

“Ssso c-c-cold.” Even Lenora could hear Ben’s teeth chatter without enhanced hearing. The chaos marine let out a worried gruff “Ben?”

She turned to Erriox, her voice stern and serious, “I’ll need you to translate for me. One, Tell him I will need to touch Ben to check for injuries. Two, Ben needs warmth immediately and you space marines are like giant heaters. Skin to skin heat would warm them up the quickest. Either you or he needs to take off the top half of your armour, gauntlets too, and put the child’s back against your chest. Hold his hands in yours to warm up his fingers. ”

The Iron Warrior translated what she said to his chaos-touched brethren. Lenora could only understand bits and pieces of their conversation, but it was clear that the chaos space marine did not like what was being asked, especially about being unarmored. She frowned, tapping on Erriox’s armour to get his attention, “I hate to put you in such a vulnerable position, but could you do it? Once I get the heating pad working, we can use that instead. We shouldn’t be wasting any more time.” 

Her Astartes glanced at her and after some brief but terse words to the chaos space marine, took off the top half of his armour, gauntlets and all, exposing his bodysuit. He kept his weapons within short reach though. Erriox then quickly snatched the young human from the other marine, and settled on the floor. The teen sat securely in his lap unwrapped from the cape, back against his chest, their hands clasped in his. 

“Ben, this is going to be a bit weird, but I’m going to lift the back of your shirt so you have more skin contact with Erriox. That’ll warm you up faster, alright?”  Lenora said as she lifted the back of Ben’s shirt before pushing him against her Astartes again, trying hard to ignore the chaos marine’s intense stare. 

She covered the teen with the cape again, then knelt in front of them and asked, “Ben, could you let me take off your shoes?”

Ben only nodded, wincing slightly at the friction of his shoes being pulled off his feet. Lenora frowned, worried at the state of the teen’s extremities. They’re cold and looked red. She looked at him, “Could you wiggle your toes for me?”

He did as asked, his toes wiggling slightly. 

“How do your toes feel?” 

“Kind of tingly.” 

She then pinched each of his toes, confirming that the teen was able to feel, except for some numbness. 

Lenora smiled slightly, the frostnip on Ben’s toes wasn’t as serious as she thought. That’s a good sign. 

 “Luckily it’s just frostnip and not frostbite.” She told him, “I’ll give you heated socks to warm your toes and bring back some feeling to them. Your toes might start feeling like they’re on pins and needles for a little bit. Ok?”

Ben nodded. 

“Can I see your hands?” She requested, “How are they feeling?” 

The Iron Warrior released his hands so Lenora could check the child’s hands. Ben nodded, confirming that he could feel his fingers again.

Erriox watched in silence as his bonded patiently tended to their young charge, glancing at the chaos marine occasionally. His dear gentle Lenora, still admirably calm despite the chaos marine’s constant glare. She had a penchant for making those around feel safe and comfortable. Most people, Erriox thought, with the exception of that irritated chaos marine. 

He wasn’t well-versed with all future successor chapters of the original legions as he arrived in Ancient Terra before Horus’ betrayal occurred. To be honest, he still hadn’t quite processed that fully. Nonetheless, he recognized the chaos marine’s armour to be from the Black Legion. His hand itched for his bolter at his waist under the chaos marine’s hard stare made, but luckily or unluckily, they were preoccupied with warming up the youngling. If his Black Legion cousin had such a hard time having them care for his charge, maybe he should doff his own armour and do it himself. 

What had even possessed him to let this pair into their home, potentially endangering both of him and Lenora? Granted, the pair were in such dire straits at the time. Any longer out in that freezing weather would have exponentially worsened the youngling’s condition, and at worst, would have resulted in his death. I’ve gone soft, Erriox thought sourly. The slight upside was that the boy was now at least out of danger and the Black Legionnaire had yet to make a move to attack them. Though the Iron Warrior wouldn’t hesitate to use the youngling against his cousin if that came to pass. 

Erriox could feel the youngling’s body temperature slowly increase and his heartbeat regulating back to its normal rhythm and strength. The child sighed in comfort as his posture sagged against his body, his breaths slowly evening out as drowsiness set in. He looked at Lenora and she smiled at him appreciatively. 

“Thank you.” She murmured to him, giving him a reassuring squeeze on his arm as she pulled up another blanket to cover the boy. Erriox nodded curtly in acknowledgment, sitting straighter, holding the youngling securely against himself.

She patted the teen’s shoulder to wake him up, “Hey Ben, I’m going to get you a heating pad to hang on to and some heated socks. Do you also want some hot chocolate?” 

“Please.” 

Lenora smiled, “Alright. I’m sure we could all use some.”

She gave Erriox another thankful squeeze on his shoulder before going to get the heating pad and other items to further warm their temporary ward. Only to hear armour clanking and a muffled conversation while she looked for said items. Her brows furrowed with concern, wondering what was going on, though confident that Erriox had a good handle on that situation. 

Malaran Blackspike closely observed the interaction between the Iron Warrior and his human tending to his own charge. He glared at them. How dare that Iron Warrior chastise him, short of calling him a coward, for not wanting to disarm himself in case of potential attackers. He didn’t know half of what they went through! And as if he trusted them! 

Then he had the audacity to grab his youngling right out of his hands? Malaran’s fists were balled tight, holding himself back from drawing his weapon right there to fight the Iron Warrior. He knew they were trying to help his youngling, but he resented his lack of control and knowledge of the situation. They’re not here to steal his boy away like all the others, he had to remind himself. 

To be fair, Malaran didn’t even understand why or how he got so attached to this youngling. Ben. Ben was this child’s name. As soon as he saw him, some wall in him broke. Some instinct in himself screamed to protect this boy. He must protect his child.

He couldn’t explain it. Perhaps they were kindred spirits, both as lost in this world as the other. Ben had been wandering, lost and confused, when he first found him after all. The boy was lucky that he found him first, rather than his less than human-friendly brethren. Though it felt like a constant struggle from the very start. First, fighting off and escaping his brethren, then coming to blows with the family’s Black Templar before finally escaping with his charge in tow, then fighting through and narrowly escaping a roaming group of ‘ferals’ that tried ambushing them one night. 

He should’ve left his charge back at his family’s home. Ben would’ve been unhappy, yes, but he was safe there. Yet here they are, seeking sanctuary in a strange woman’s house after being found by some Iron Warrior. He counted himself lucky, though his pride would not let him admit it out loud. Ben was freezing to death and he was faced with an enemy he could not fight. He did not know where to go, where he could find sufficient shelter for him and his bonded little one. A strange kind of anxiety writhed in his gut. 

This was all confusing and contradictory! A part of him felt a sliver of disgust watching how intimately and familiar they all interacted with each other, yet another part of himself warred with that thought. He should also be in that picture. He should be the one taking care of his young charge. Why wasn’t he the one warming him? He should get his youngling back. 

“Iron Warrior, give me back the boy.” Malaran demanded.

“Why?”

“I will tend to him. He is my bonded human after all.”

Erriox eyed him with indifference, still cradling Ben who now dozed off against him, “Take your armour off. Your child still requires warmth.”

Malaran grumbled with frustration at being told what to do, but nonetheless started to remove his armour. He was not going to let this iron canid steal his youngling away so quickly after all they went through. The helmet dropped with a resounding clank (Lenora winced when she heard that. That one’s going to dent her floor.), followed by his gauntlets, and various pieces of his armour until his upper torso was devoid of it. “There. Now return my boy to me.” He demanded. 

Erriox gently pushed up the sleepy teen, who groaned in complaint, “Ben. Wake up. Go back to… my cousin.” He turned to Malaran, “What is your name?”

“It is not your business to know.” The chaos warrior sneered, now seated on the couch, hastily bundling Ben into himself like a broody hen. 

Erriox snorted derisively, “It matters not to me. Does your bonded even know your name?” 

Malaran growled, “I was gifted my name from the boy. You know nothing of the trials we went through.”

“Yes, and you know nothing of us either. Yet here we are, saving your bonded from freezing to death. I am asking for your name, not your secrets. Unless you prefer I make up a name for you.” Erriox replied with a sarcasm-laced sneer. Frankly, he was getting sick of this Black Legionnaire’s belligerent attitude.

Reluctantly, Malaran grumbled out his name. 

Lenora came back to the sight of both the Black Legionnaire and her Iron Warrior, each returned to sitting on a couch, each stewing in their own feelings. The coffee table was back in its original place. Ben, all bundled and tucked under the chaos space marine’s chin. 

She turned to Erriox in question; his only answer was a shrug and, “He wanted his boy back.”

Perhaps it was best for Ben to be with his chaos Astartes; he certainly cares for Ben very fiercely, Lenora thought. She plugged the heating pad to an extension cord, immediately feeling heat emanating from the pad. She set the power to “low” before handing it along with the pair of her heated socks to Ben, pointedly ignoring the tensing muscles in the chaos marine’s arms. 

“It’s to help you keep warm. But if you feel it’s getting too hot, feel free to turn it off and put it aside.” She advised the teen. Ben accepted the heating pad and put on the socks with some finangling, being slightly hindered by his chaos space marine. Lenora looked at the pair with quiet approval before turning to get the hot chocolate ready. Erriox stood up, “Do you need assistance?”

She looked to her bonded, “I could use the company.”

The Iron Warrior went to his human’s side, pulling out the canister of hot chocolate powder while she filled the kettle. 

“How far do you want to aid them?” He asked quietly as they waited for the water to boil. 

Lenora sighed, looking out into the winter landscape, “Enough so we can find out what’s going on and be able to send them to where they can get more help.” She murmured back, her brows furrowed in worry, “But I am afraid this is either a kidnapping and I’m missing the signs or this is something more complicated.”

She then let out a short huff with a grin of resignation, “I suppose we'll cross that bridge when we get there.”

Erriox laid his hand against the small of her back and assured her with a wry grin of his own, “We’ll see this to the end together.” She smiled back.

As they waited, Lenora leaned into his side; something she did out of habit when they cooked together, but right now needing his presence to ground herself from the stressful atmosphere. Erriox automatically pulled her in securely against himself, his arm wrapped protectively around her. Malaran did not miss that gesture. 

It didn’t take long before Lenora and Erriox were back with steaming mugs of hot chocolate. The chaos space marine growled at her as she made to pass a mug to Ben. She shot him an annoyed look, finally fed up with his suspicions, “Why would I kill Ben after all the effort to save him? That is stupid!” She said in frustration. 

The marine was gob-smacked, her little statement in gothic catching him off-guard. Ben looked at her in awe. Erriox tensed, ready to leap to her defence should the Black Legionnaire decide to take action. Lenora only sighed and turned to Ben, “Sorry bud, I will leave the hot chocolate on the coffee table for you two to take it, ok? The last thing I need is for hot chocolate to spill on you.”

A loud, threatening growl erupted from the chaos marine’s chest, his suspicions at an all time high. How dare they hide the fact that she knew Gothic! Was she a spy? Why wasn’t the Iron Warrior concerned?

“How much did you understand?!” 

Lenora glared back, not backing down, “Enough to know you were unhappy to take off your armour.” 

“Are you calling me a coward?!” Malaran tensed, about to roll Ben off of him to get up from the couch.

Lenora was alarmed by his remark, “What are—? No!” 

Erriox immediately pulled her back to his side on the other couch, putting himself between the Black Legionnaire and his bonded once more, “Think carefully about your next actions, cousin.” he growled lowly, threat and promise carried in his voice.

“Stop! Orca! Stop!” Ben pleaded, clutching to him tightly, “Please!”

Thankfully, the chaos marine backed down at his bonded child’s request. 

Lenora turned to the boy, “Orca? Did you give him that name?” She knew the chaos space marine definitely had another name. 

“Yeah! You should see how awesome and strong he is! He fought off all those other space marines all by himself!” Whether or not those other space marines were trying to rescue Ben or hurt him remained the question, Lenora wondered. It would be concerning if “Orca” had kidnapped Ben from his family though. 

“I see…” Lenora decided to change the subject, if only to dissipate some of the tension in the room, “Are you a fan of marine documentaries?”

“Yeah! They are the best!” Ben perked up, glad that there was finally a topic he could talk about.

Lenora smiled kindly, “Orca is a good name. Don’t they hunt in family pods though?” she asked

The teen nodded, “They normally do, but there’s some orcas that can kill a great white shark all on their own!” 

Malaran looked on with confusion upon hearing his given name while his bonded youngling animatedly chatted with the Iron Warrior’s human. He turned to the other Astartes, “What are they talking about?”

“Sea creatures and the merit of your given name. She said your boy gave you a good name.”

Malaran snorted, but he was satisfied. Of course his bonded would give him a good name! And name him after some sort of sea creature. He remembered seeing the few books that Ben had, contained pictures of water beasts, though he couldn’t understand anything of what was written. He felt the boy reach out for the drinks on the table. He crooned with concern and held Ben back. 

Erriox sighed, “Let your boy have the drink. It is not poisoned if that is what you are concerned with. He needs to replenish his fluids.”

The Black Legionnaire relented and loosened his grip. Ben leaned forward and grabbed both mugs, passing one to him with a big smile, “Here! You should have one too.”

A warm feeling grew in his chest, similar to when Ben first led him home and gave him his name; remembering how the child tried to stuff him in his closet to hide him from his paternal parental figure. Malaran chuckled at the memory and looked at Ben fondly before taking the offered mug and patted his head. Ben giggled before snuggling back against his body again. The wall in him broke open further, letting the warmth strengthen his bond with his youngling. Watching Ben drink his hot chocolate, he decided to take a sip as well. It was sweet, with a hint of bitterness. Malaran decided that he liked this drink. 

Lenora watched the pair with fondness as both her and Erriox drank their share. She let out a quiet sigh of relief and leaned into her Astartes. Erriox glanced at her in question, she smiled at him and squeezed his hand, “Thank you for taking them in. You did good.” She murmured. 

His gaze softened as he squeezed her hand in return, “You’re welcome.”

“Miss…?” Ben’s unsure voice cut through the lull. 

“Lenora is fine, no need for the ‘Miss’.” Lenora responded kindly, “You have a question?”

“Yeah, you asked if Orca was the name I gave him. Does that mean he has his own name too? Can he tell me his name?” The teen asked. 

Lenora looked at the chaos space marine, “You’re bonded wants to know your name. Do you want to let him know?” 

The Black Legionnaire mulled it over for a moment then patted Ben’s shoulder, getting his attention, “I am Malaran, but I want you to call me Orca. You gifted me a good name.” He‘d rather his youngling call him by his given name; outside of being quite attached to that name, it was also for Ben’s own safety, in case anyone else recognized it. 

“Ben, his name is Malaran, but he prefers to be called Orca.” Lenora translated for the boy. 

The teen perked up, “He likes my name?” 

Lenora smiled, “He sure does.”

“Can you teach me to say something in Orca’s language?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

Ben looked at his guardian briefly before looking back at Lenora and Erriox. “Thank you for staying with me. You are awesome. I want to be strong like you one day.”

Erriox chuckled, surely this will no doubt inflate the chaos marine’s ego. He put his hand on Lenora's leg signalling that he would take over, “Ben, repeat after me. Orca, thank you for staying with me. You are amazing. I want to be strong like you.”

Malaran hearts nearly burst when he heard that. Ben’s pronunciation was a bit off, but the meaning behind it was there, with truth and sincerity. This was definitely his youngling, his bond made the right choice. He will protect and cherish this one for as long as he lives, regardless of who or what gets in the way. His purr grew to a loud rumble as Ben laughed when he hugged him and ruffled his hair.  Their heartfelt moment was unfortunately cut short when Erriox asked his Black Legion cousin, “How did you end up here?”

[snottertooder]

Why this red hood design is bad for Red hood as a character

My 2 cents on how this red hood design is harmful for his character and falls into the stereotypes that are put on him (aka Classism aka Angry Robin reckless Jason ) I will be looking at this from a logical stand point as an artist so if you like smth about this design power to you. A characters design is supposed to be both realistic AND fit the characater aesthetically which neither do here. (Ex: Superman wearing neon red undies is not realistic but it’s his trade mark)

1) Domino mask

Quick and easy, making the eyes of the Domino mask red instead of white intigates anger, literally screams “I see red” really drives home “pitmadness jason” “angry Robin jason”

2) Muscular Build

We see muscular builds in characters who are brawlers, who are more strong than smart, heros, crooks, henchmen,villains. Jason falls into none of those Categories, It makes him out to be more of a brawler type like the hulk rather than someone who uses weapons (or guns 🙃 like he should be)

I don’t see any point of him having muscles on his arms as he’s more like Nightwing, he trained like dick and fights similarly to him. I’ve seen people say he’s the least athletic Robin which? I’m just going to assume it’s because of this design choice of him having bigger muscles because Bigger = Slower.

The addition of the muscles also makes him look older which takes away the real tragedy of Jasons story which is that he’s so young, he died young, he fought Bruce at the age of 18. Making him look older takes away his “innocence” (aka the tragidy of his character). Basically Adding muscle isn’t beneficial for his skills set + paints a different picture of his character at first glance (he looks like a brawler rather than a duelists + he doesn’t look agile + he looks older)

3) Clothing

Bandages- he looks like a brawler, or a boxer type character, again focuses more on fighting red hood than his actual character: a planner “I’m 5 steps ahead of you” under the red hood Jason. It screams Reckless Jason who throws punches first asks questions later, and paints him in a different light (also they are SOOO UGLY with his gloves)

Vest- looks really cheap and thin, literally looks like something you would find at a Goodwill bins but drop immediately from the weird texture. Your telling me your a trust fund kid with a Billionaire daddy and a Mother figure who’s a princess but can’t get a proper vest?? Also the hood is soo on the nose, just because he’s called red hood doesn’t mean he needs that. Bring his helmet back.

Pants- it doesn’t look like it in the picture but 99.9% of the time they are drawn as sweatpants and sometimes they’re even adidas like he’s being sponsored to wear them. Again very cheap and he looks so goofy next to other hero’s who have proper gear on. It’s giving I woke up like this. Give him proper pants.

Symbol- this is more personal opinionated but I hate him having a symbol, the current one looks weird and what is that even supposed to be??? Why would he put that on his shirt?? It looks like a the Red heart on converses expect like possessed and angry (weird choice making the eyes look like that but okay….) I prefer him having no symbol at all, I genuinely think he’s popular enough to live off his red helmet alone, let it be his symbol, or a simple R like in three jokers (also nods to his Robin costume) but lowkey im grateful bc seeing the other options this was definitely the best……

Final synopsis: this design leans into the caricature Dc likes to put him in but also has some Fanon Jason todd mixed into it. He looks angry, stupid, and poor. looks nothing like who he is at core and strays soo far from his og design (again a brawler rather than a dualist) he looks lazy in it and it genuinely looks like he picked up his outfit at the nearest Walmart. I am not against seeing Jason in new costumes and played around with his design but when it strays so far and makes his character look completely different I don’t see the point of changing it in the first place.

Anyways save me Under the red hood Jason and Three jokers Jason 🙏.

[mysteryanimator]

I love your animations, but I'm still struggling to view them without thinking about their last canon interaction. Can you tell me what you envision their makeup would be like?

(Lol I’m so sorry to all the ppl who work on Nocturne reading this 💀 and just generally everyone)

Thank you so much that means a lot! But now, you’ve unveiled my trap card and given me an excuse to write my thoughts on Mizrak and Olrox, so this will get pretty long. Also, this may end up being very subjective/personal taste in some parts so I hope everyone doesn’t mind (and hope you don't mind the funky grammar!) This is an open discussion too, I’d like to hear everyone’s thoughts! 

Now with that out of the way here we go!

(This is old unfinished storyboards for a previous iteration of their makeup scene I did back in jan, never finished them due to uni/another project, I'd like to someday tho because guh the themes.)

Now first of all, I’d like to think that a proper makeup/conversation wouldn’t happen for a bit and would be drawn out because they’re both still hurt, angry, sad, and confused at not only each other but themselves. They’re not the type to get into loud verbal arguments for this, definitely some verbal jabs at each other though. Mean petty comments, oh absolutely. I’d like to personally believe they’d still yearn for each other, perhaps even more so after Olrox indirectly confessed and Mizrak practically turned it down. 

Now, there are soooo many different ways that they’d even see each other again, many different ways it could come to that initial point where they’ve made up. Though I’ll go with one of my personal idea (which people keep egging me on to animate WHICH… I dunno I don’t have free time rn so I’m just blurting it out into written format while I can 😭 I want to though, maybe later in the year for fun if season 2 doesn’t beat me to it). 

Have to establish my vision, but I’d think that Richter, Maria, Annette, Alucard and Mizrak are hopping from abandoned town to abandoned town due to the inability to return to Macheoul for the time being. While Olrox has been on his own (doing what, I’m not even sure my personal headcanon for this.) I think Alucard and Mizrak have a conversation about Alucard’s past in a group setting and it strikes a chord with the monk- since after all, Alucard’s dad is THE Dracula, and his mother (bless her, I miss her) is human. You know how that whole backstory goes, and it parallels Olrox a lot. Also Mizrak and Annette will absolutely have a deep conversation too. Just solely from the comment that was made: 

“We’re all descended from gods, we just have to learn how to draw their power.” Nocturne s1 ep 2

Annette clearly having powers from Haitian gods, absolutely challenging how Mizrak was only certain of one God. Yes, Mizrak is extremely stubborn and it will take him a bit, but he’s different from the Abott in the sense that he will not let religion blind his path to good. He ‘uses his head’ as said before, not god, not the church- his head. Mizrak’s idea of the church and his faith is now a mess and it’s up to him on how he interprets it and rewrites it knowing what he knows now (this is important I swear when it comes to the makeup scene).

Now we’re at the actual scene at hand: Olrox and Mizrak making up.

Side note: oh god I’m practically writing this whole thing as if its going to be played out for an episode, but that’s how it works in my brain LOL but you asked so you shall receive. I am so sorry HAHA

There’s been a lot of build up from this point where they have been meeting up here and there by themselves, but you can clearly tell whenever they do they both hurt and yearn- which would lead to their proper makeup scene. I’m just inserting this for fun, but I’d imagine this would take place in an abandoned church in the town they’re camping in for the night. For a lot of symbolic reasons; devotion, sacrifice, forgiveness, gathering. This along with the simple fact, Mizrak’s relationship to the church has changed completely from here. I’d like to think that even when he’s trying to rekindle that connection with God, it leaves that icky overcoat on his skin. 

“Faith is a company in the hardest of times, when the world abandons you.” Nocturne ep 3

The church indeed had saved him from whatever terrible horrific thing happened to him in the past, however whatever saved him can still be horrible and terrible too. It is infallible.  It is cruel in an attempt to gather community and peace. So, yes- faith can be company when the world abandoned him, but his faith is no longer with the church. He’s taking it back and finding some place else to rest it. (Olrox, it’s Olrox, probably ooc but I’m making it Olrox). 

In this church, the conversation between them will initially start as a discussion about religion, faith and that whole sort of deal. It’ll open up about Mizrak exact struggles from his mouth and how he particularly feels about it, then we get more insight onto Olrox’s thoughts, his perception of the church and perhaps even a deep dive into Aztec history again. Maybe even talk about Olrox’s Quetzalcoatl form, though really this is self indulgent. It’s an aspect I’d absolutely love to be explored and I think it being discussed in revere in a Catholic Church,  with Mizrak actually being open to it due to his new perspective? Oh my god, sign me up. Regardless, it would hold similar energy to episode 6: Gulity Men to be Judged. There’s a weight to it. 

Then it gets heavier when the conversation pivots.  

Mizrak’s attachment in the church was due to him caring about people and, hypothetically, to save him from whatever detriment came for him in the past. The last canon interaction, their falling out they had in season 1 was because he cared about others. To a fault. Now, here he is, standing in front of someone he cares about. It’s going to open a conversation between what’s happening between them and finally properly discuss what happened from their last canon interaction in nocturne season 1. 

A lot of finger and hand brushing from Olrox, which at first I’d think gets no reaction as an attempt for restraint before Mizrak warms up to it and even reciprocates by doing the same thing. All of this is very gentle in my opinion. It’s slow, tender, and most importantly vulnerable. It has the physical contact reminiscent of their first fast rough and tug in the courtyard and piggybacks off the vulnerability they both have when they both stand next to the window in episode 6. They probably also just physically get closer to each other at the moment. Just gradually though. The distance gets closer and closer until their foreheads are practically touching without them realizing it. They’re comfortable though, they don’t want to leave. 

They absolutely get to a point where they both admit to saying “I love you” without straight up saying “I love you” because that’s just a very them thing. Or maybe they do straight up state because Olrox does admit he was in love (with his partner) and doesn’t shy from that fact. It’s a nice conversion of the trope and great to hear from a mlm couple to say I love you… but man do I do love when characters get all poetic-y when their profess their devotion to each other by literally talking in prose, so maybe with good writing both can be done and still be quite powerful but still be gentle. 

In my interpretation YEAH I’LL MAKE THEM KISS AFTER THIS, this is my vision after all. Also, yeah they’re gonna fuck. In the church? Perhaps. Is it a tad OOC, maybe. HOWEVER, consider imagery and symbolism. I just think the image of it would be great, even if it was censored to hell and back, it can be so artistically done. Just imagine the implication alone with me for a second. I think the whole concept of doing it in a church is an interesting build upon the quotes from the show;

“God is not here. This church is an empty box.” From the first Castlevania series.

“House of God? This place is just a heap of bricks and stone.” From Nocturne said by Maria. 

The church is a husk, especially having it abandoned- it’s rather what you do with that box that makes all the difference. The people inside are the driving force, so I think it’s both poetic and funny to have Mizrak and Olrox fucking in an abandoned church. Surface level: fuck you god I’m fucking my hot vampire boyfriend in your house. Deeper level: I could write a whole thing on this but I’ll refrain. You can get the gist of breaking free of restraint, and devotion and letting himself be human, rather than a soldier (which he already slowly does). 

Though also this sex scene isn’t necessary, I just like exploring explicit content in artistic ways, especially if I can throw in religious symbols and heighten that hunger/devotion to a person- but the “I love you” in the church is pretty powerful already.  

Then after all of this they take it at their own pace. However, they only live life once and continue together like that- they both know this concept very well because of the very nature of who they are, so they spend it in each other’s company. 

Now you also get the squad’s reactions, well namely because I do not think this would be an easily hidden thing. Like absolutely could get away with it in season 1, but everyone will know something is up for sure in my iteration. The 'hypothetical' Mystery Animator season 2 iteration. As subtle as their longing stares and quiet hand touches may be reserved for just them- those little interactions are loud.

Richter would absolutely be in shambles over Olrox, the killer of his mother, and Mizrak being a thing. Both in a “this is the most horrible thing that’s happened in my life” and also a he’s going to be an absolute shithead to Mizrak and make fun of him, lightheartedly of course. Alucard would absolutely have an interesting perspective because again, his parents. Maria already has disdain for the church plus the “vampires are evil… and evil has to be fought.” However, in the presence of Alucard, I think a lot will change because he’s half-vampire. Annette, I’m unsure of what her reaction would be, because I’m very sure she’d be receptive to Alucard being a vampire and then would appreciate Olrox’s mindset and values. However, gonna keep hammering, Olrox killed Julia Belmont which I feel will be comedically hammered in if Olrox decides to hang around the squad occasionally. 

And with that, we’re done! (I think)

Thank you for reading 🫶 this probably will not happen in cv s2 but it’s fun blurting out my hc. I’m really excited to see what they do, and even perhaps even go in the opposite direction due to episode limitations… maybe a season 3 👀 who knows.

[the-oblivious-writer]

Wanna Be Yours |2|

Hermione Granger x Fem!Reader

Chapter Two: Gryffindor V Ravenclaw

Notes: Gonna be my last post for a few weeks, Modern AU, Fem!SlytherinReader, any characters you don't recall from the Harry Potter universe are my OC's

Warning(s): Swearing, throwing up, mentions of underage drinking & blood

Prologue|Previous Part|Next Part

Stressful was definitely one of the many words to describe how the past few weeks have been. With exams and quidditch, Y/N has found herself swamped with work. Luckily she was able to keep up with her classes..except for one. 

Arithmancy.

It was the one subject she just couldn’t get. Ask her to brew a potion from scratch? Y/N has that handled. Want to know the name of every star? Y/N Y/L/N’s your girl. Need help in Defense Of The Dark Arts? She’s who to call. Just not about Arithmancy. 

So here she was, studying the materials for the hundredth time. Y/N had been sitting there for a good hour now and the numbers and symbols were starting to mix and blur. That was when she knew she should call it a night.

Y/N packed her things and left the library before walking through the school’s halls, half asleep. She had been up since two in the morning and it was now almost curfew. At some point, Y/N zoned out during the walk to her dorm.

I really need to stop pulling all nighte-

The Slytherin is pulled out of her trance when she feels a body knock into her. 

“Hmph- '' a girl let out in front of Y/N as both their books dropped to the ground. Y/N looked down to see the brown haired girl who she bumped into. Y/N instantly recognized her to be the Gryffindor she caught staring at her during the first day back at Hogwarts.

“I’m sorry about that” Y/N said as she knelt down to pick up the fallen books. 

“It’s okay.” Hermione then knelt down to help pick them up. Y/N finally looked at Hermione again when she gave the Gryffindor her book. They both stood up and there was an awkward few seconds of silence until Hermione held out her hand. 

“I’m Hermione by the way. Hermione Granger” she let out, introducing herself to the Slytherin. Y/N looked at Hermione’s hand and then back to her face. “I’m Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N” she responded, taking the other girl’s hand. 

“Well it’s nice to meet you Y/N. Even if it was by crashing into you” Hermione jokes which pulled a small laugh from Y/N. 

“Yeah, I really ought to watch where I’m going next time,” Y/N responded back as they disconnected their hands.

Hermione looked at Y/N for a moment. As she was about to say something Y/N’s name got called causing her to turn her head. Her gaze meets a bloody nosed Link being held up by Amelia and Leo. “What the bloody hell happened?” Y/N asked with raised eyebrows. 

Before Y/N went to them, they walked over to her. “Take a wild guess” Leo remarked, he was getting tired of Link’s antics. Y/N sighs and turns back to Hermione,“I gotta uh —she points back to Link— but I’ll see you around. At least I hope I do” Y/N looks Hermione up and down as she says the last part before walking away with the others.

—

“So let me get this straight–” Harry started as he sat down, “Y/N bumped into you, the others showed up, and she said that?”

“Yes” Hermione looked between the two boys, not sure where they were headed with this.

“She was flirting with you, Mione,” Ron simply said before biting into a chocolate frog. “Isn’t this the same girl you’ve been making googly eyes at since seco- ow!” Hermione hit Ron with the Daily Prophet before he could finish his sentence 

“Be mature Ronald. I have not been making googly eyes at her. And I can’t help it if I’m a naturally observant person” Hermione claimed defensively. Ron only rolled his eyes in response before Harry cut in.

“But you fancy her, don’t you?” Harry cursorily asked Hermione. She thought for a moment before answering. 

“Well, this is the first time I’ve ever even spoken to her,” Hermione responded, furrowing her eyebrows. 

“Well you certainly fancy her enough to stare at her hour after hour” Ron mumbled, earning him a kick from Hermione. But it didn’t wipe the smirk off the ginger’s face. 

Eventually the three went to bed, Hermione thought about the interaction over again before falling asleep. 

—

Y/N was sound asleep, peacefully dreaming about Merlins know what. Well, that was before Amelia woke her up. “Rise and shine sleeping beauty!” Y/N only groaned in response as Amelia clapped her hands. “Come on, it’s Raine’s quidditch day. They’re up against Gryffindor.” 

Y/N hesitantly lifted herself up, mumbling a few curses before finally standing up. She changed and put on the Ravenclaw scarf Lorraine had given her a few months prior. 

Amelia and Y/N made it to the quidditch field and sat down in the Ravenclaw stands next to Leo and Link who waved them over. Leo was still laying into Link about the previous day. “Oh come on, it wasn’t that dumb” Link defended as Amelia and Y/N watched with amusement.

“How is attempting to do a handstand on your broom, one hundred feet in the air, while not being able to do a handstand in the first place, not dumb?” Leo asked incredulously.

“Well when you say it like that..” Link trailed off while Leo rolled his eyes in response. 

“Bloody idiot” Leo mumbled, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat.

—

Gryffindor won the match and they were holding a party in their common room to celebrate. The victory also meant a loss for Ravenclaw which meant comforting Lorraine. If she was anything she was serious about quidditch. It made sense considering Oliver Wood acted as her mentor when she first started out. It seemed he passed over some of his competitiveness.

When it came to parties at Hogwarts, everybody went. No matter what they were for, who lost, who won, people still showed up. Amelia asked if she was going to go but Y/N declined, not wanting “Lorraine to drown herself.”

By the time everybody left, Y/N was softly knocking on the Lorraine’s dorm door. “Go away” she heard from the other side. Y/N sighed and spoke up. “Oh come on, it's me. I even brought over some sweets I found in Link’s snack stash” Y/N said, raising the bag up as if the Ravenclaw could see it.

She heard shuffling and footsteps on the other side of the door before it opened slightly. Lorraine looked through the slither opening, looked down at the bag then at Y/N before opening the door all the way.

“Come in” Lorraine sighed before going back to her bed. “Don’t look at me like that.”

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows,“What do you mean?”

Lorraine rolled eyes before answering. “I don’t want to be comforted right now, okay? I just want to forget about the stupid match. I’m sick of the pitiful looks I’ve been getting.” 

Y/N nodded in understanding, sometimes Lorraine wanted to talk and sometimes she didn’t. The Slytherin placed the bag on Lorraine’s nightstand before grabbing a few things out of it. “I made sure to swipe some of your favorites. How about a night in? Just you and me” Y/N offered.

Lorraine patted the spot next to her and Y/N happily sat on the bed. Lorraine grabbed her laptop and opened it. They spent the rest of the night watching movies and eating sweets. Eventually falling asleep.

Y/N woke up, looking at her surroundings confused before remembering where she was. She looked down to see Lorraine with her head on her chest. Y/N carefully got up while gently moving Lorraine not wanting to wake her up. She then reached into her pocket for her phone. She squeezed her eyes shut as the phone’s brightness shined at her. 

There were a few messages from Amelia and Link and a couple from Leo. But being too tired, Y/N just made a mental note to reply in the morning and instantly fell back asleep. What woke her up was the sun shining through the room's window. She winced a bit from the light as she covered her face.

“Look who decided to wake up” Lorraine said as she moved around the room. “None of my roommates are back yet but they will be soon encase you wanna make a run for it” she offered.

Y/N mumbled,“Good call, Rainey” before getting out of bed. The only roommate of hers that Y/N could tolerate was Luna. Eventually she left after saying goodbye and made her way back to the Slytherin common room. Unfortunately a certain professor was waiting at the door.

“Professor Snape.”

“Y/L/N.”

“Are you aware of the time?” he asked with an unamused expression. Y/N looked at her watch then back at the professor. 

“It is seven thirty six” Y/N answers, Snape humming in response.

“And do you know when curfew is?” Snape crossed his arms as he waited for a response. Y/N huffed a bit before answering. It was far too early for an interrogation.

“Ten pm” she sighed.

He was getting too old for this shit.

“Good, so you were aware of what time you had to be in your common room. You were also aware of what rules you were breaking. Twenty points from Slytherin and detention for a week, starting today.”

Snape walked away after giving her one more glare. Y/N flipped him off with his backside facing her, before heading to her dorm room. She walked in and heard somebody throwing up. Y/N went to the bathroom where it was coming from to find Amelia hunched over and puking.

“Drank too much I presume?” she rhetorically asked, not expecting her puking friend to answer that.

“Nobody likes a smartass,” Amelia replied before throwing up some more. Y/N got a water bottle then placed it on her friend’s nightstand. 

After a couple of minutes, Amelia walked out of the bathroom as she wiped her mouth with a towel. Y/N gave her the water bottle,“Thanks —she took a sip— oh and you know how you’ve been struggling with Arithmancy?” Y/N hummed in response. “Found you a tutor.”

“Who is it?”

“Hermione Granger.”

[hauntedgrin]

An unnecessarily thorough analysis of the Tarot imagery in Merlin Season One by an amateur tarot reader

(who is also a hopeless romantic and is currently very affected by the disaster that is BBC Merlin)

I started watching Merlin around two months ago. I fell in love with the show instantly, even if I technically haven't finished it yet because of time reasons (though I did spoil myself everything right to the ending and I’m devastated. Still trying to find courage to start season 5. But that’s beside the point)

There was something in the first season that caught my eye and hasn't let me go since. In fact, I was thinking about it today, went on a search for discussions about it, fully under the assumption that this is something the fandom noticed long beforehand is a well-known fact. To my endless surprise, I’ve found no mention! Nada! Not a single one. That won’t do, I thought. I have to share with the people. It's something that fueled my conviction in Merlin the Show being a love story between Merlin and Arthur (whatever the nature of that love may be, I love both the platonic and romantic interpretation equally, though this specific instance could be leaning towards romance somewhat more, I'll explain it in a second) and here it is.

It's this scene.

It is Merlin and Arthur, facing each other with two cups in between them, trying to decide who is going to drink the poison, sacrifice himself and save the other. And I thought Oh my god, tarot symbolism.

That's the card, the Two of Cups. The similarities are obvious (and, in my opinion, very intentional. I’d like to kiss whoever came up with this specific creative decision)

Slight disclaimer: Tarot reading can be very subjective, meanings shift depending on the reader and their perception of the card. I’ll try to be objective with the main aspects of the cards, but there is a lot of subjective opinions too. It’s okay if you disagree)

The main meanings of this card are partnerships, loving relationships, mutual attraction, unity, harmony and, you guessed it!, soulmates. It’s not hard to see why that card would have been chosen to represent them. I think that’s the most outright the show’s ever been about calling them soulmates, without hiding behind labels such as ‘each other’s destiny’ and ‘two sides of one coin’ as if those are any less gay. There is also themes of equality and becoming one, mutual respect and, in certain cases passion and sexual attraction (though it’s not a definition that is applicable in all cases, and can absolutely be ignored for platonic or asexual relationships, it’s still one of the main aspects, given that its represented by, you know, the big red head of a lion with wings right at the top of the card. Can’t exactly forget about it.)

Personally I've always preferred the Two of Cups to The Lovers tarot card (which looks very similar and has some intersections in themes, also concerning love, intimacy, passion). Plus, The Lovers is part of the Major Arcana, so technically it should be more impactful, ‘epic’, someone said, divine. While doing some research into that distinction I've found why exactly it makes me a bit queasy. The Lovers are not always a card about love, in fact, more often it isn’t. And The Lovers aren't made for each other. That is to say, they obviously are, considering the entirety transparent Adam and Eve imagery (and this also makes it a more conservative card, with clear molds for a ‘traditional relationship’). The Lovers are brought together by a higher power, made for a purpose. It serves something. It is a message. It is a lesson. It's a choice between what you want and what you need. It is a partnership, often intense, out of this world, but it’s also about all the factors in between, the things that unite them, the snake, the temptation, the apple, the garden. It can be also about soulmates, and happy relationships, of course, about fated lovers… and mortal enemies. It actually is more in line with Merlin’s and Morgana’s relationship. Out of this world fated connection? Absolutely, guaranteed. Do you want that kind of connection though, really?

How is this relevant, you might be thinking?

Well, there is no such divine power pushing the couple portrayed by the Two of Cups. In fact, they are choosing each other. It’s only them and their union. That’s why I like it so much. They are only the way they are, not the way they are meant to be, not specifically made for each other and yet they are right for each other anyway. And, somehow, just being them is enough. Is that not love?

In Merlin we are told that Merlin and Arthur are a part of each other’s destiny. The Once and Future King and Emrys, his protector, uniting Albion, prophesized by some unnamed seer(s). Does not seem very much like a choice, does it? I guess it depends on the way you view the prophecy and destiny in the show. Is it really all inevitable, and destiny is set in stone, unable to be changed, all leading to the same end, no matter what you do? Or is it the choices themselves that are the constants, fixed in place by the prophecy fulfilling itself? I think the answers to those questions are entirely up to each viewer, and that we can only speculate on it, and never know for sure which was it. Maybe there isn’t a right answer at all. But what I do know is there was a choice Merlin and Arthur made. Let’s return to the imagery on the card..

The couple is exchanging the cups. They are not just toasting – they are performing a ritual, a ceremony. Like exchanging rings, like giving vows. It’s a promise, it’s a connection, it’s a new step, it’s a commitment. And the parallels of the scene in 1x11 don’t end with just imagery. Merlin and Arthur complete the ritual! In the show!

In the episode 1x04, The Poisoned Chalice, Merlin starts the ritual by drinking from Arthur’s poisoned goblet, which he does to protect him. I would also like to add that this is the first time Two Cups appear that season (that's twice they used the imagery), notably, two ceremonial goblets that are supposed to symbolize peace and partnership between two kingdoms. Even if it doesn’t represent the actual state of the two kingdoms, it definitely shows King Bayard’s genuine desire for a peaceful alliance. And Merlin drinks from one of them!

Merlin drinks poison for Arthur and in Labyrinth of Gedref, Arthur drinks ‘poison’ for Merlin in turn. Very unconventional way to get married, I must say, but it’s remarkable that they do it in the same way (even if not at the same time).

So. What does all of that tell us about Merlin and Arthur?

We’ve established that the card signifies a very close, strong and significant relationship, chosen by both parties. Again, I like that it emphasizes the choice, that they didn’t just fall into the friendship because of destiny (even if it aided them). The Two of Cups is a part of the Minor Arcana, which deals with the every day matters, earthly lives. Is that not fitting? Merlin didn’t choose The Once and Future King, he chose Arthur, and Arthur didn’t choose Emrys, he chose Merlin.

Merlin’s who been promised a peaceful future. A land where magic is free. Merlin, who knows what’s supposed to happen: The Once and Future King brings that future. The King dies. Merlin, who has a choice to bring that future. To save Mordred. To remove the ban on magic. He doesn’t choose that, he chooses to essentially destroy that future entirely, just so he can have Arthur.

Arthur, who values Merlin’s opinion above everyone else’s, Arthur on his deathbed, finally seeing Merlin for who he is, says, “I don’t want you to change, I want you to always be you,” Arthur, who is dying, a few steps from the chance being saved, (still too far, not enough time), decides to stop because in his last moments he just wants to be held by Merlin.

They chose each other.

And that’s, dare I say it, love.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Reflections in Last Twilight

Alright, I was not really planning on writing analysis on for Last Twilight, at least not this early in the game. But my dearly beloved @dribs-and-drabbles has called to me like Beetlejuice to analyze the use of reflections in this show. Which means i have been summoned, which means, it is time to bust out the meta. 

Now, having just looked back through both Episode 1 and Episode 2, there have not been that many instances of reflections in Last Twilight so far, though the ones we have had already are definitely memorable. So let’s get in to it. 

Episode 1

Intro Sequence

I’m not going to talk about the reflections off the fish tank here because the actual scene they are tied to comes in Episode 2 and I think there will be a whole lot more to say then. But I do want to acknowledge that we will be getting reflections at the beginning of every episode, and that Aof is already establishing the important symbolism of fish and jasmine. 

The first actual reflection we get in Last Twilight comes in the form of Mhok in the side mirror of  his sister Rung’s car.

Rung's car has been sitting in Pae's garage for a year at this point. It would be gathering dust if Pae hadn't spent time over the course of that year meticulously maintaining her vehicle. In fact, that is the very first thing we see happen in this workshop. Pae taking car of Rung's car in her and Mhok's sted. Taking care of this car was not his job, we can assume that he did not anticipate the time commitment that would come with maintaining possession of Rung's car while Mhok was in jail, but he has set himself up to task and gone, in my opinion, above and beyond what was expected of him by continuing to maintain her car.

Pae is surprised when Mhok hands him the spare key and says Pae can sell the car. Mhok at this point is in the anger stage of grief. He blames Rung for her death, and wants to absolve himself of the grief and guilt by maintaining the idea that Rung was to blame and to try to rid himself of any and all reminders of his sister. Mhok, as we know, is incredibly alone. His mother died when they were young, his sister has died, he is no longer associated with his friends/coworkers from his old shop after they all got arrested, and he hides as much as he can from Pae. Mhok has Phorjai and Phorjai only as any sort of support system, and she's his ex-girlfriend, so I don't think we need to go too in depth to acknowledge the complications there.

Mhok wants to forget his grief, his pain, and I appreciate greatly that Pae won't let him do that. That Pae knows Mhok enough to understand that the second that Pae sells that car, Mhok is going to regret letting it go. So he extends another six months grace period to let Mhok actually think it over. Mhok looks over the car, at the bandaid that Rung put on the little scratch she got her first day owning the car, in the glove compartment where all the handouts for her failed budiness are. And Pae allows Mhok a minute alone, in the dark of his sister's car.

At which point we get the reflection. Now, personally I think Jimmy has some work to do as an actor, which means it feels harder for me to accurately read Mhok's face/emotional state. But, for me, here, Mhok looks *tired*, but most importantly, he is trapped in the frame of the side mirror, he is stuck in the dark, and he is alone. In just one small frame, Aof is showing us the aspects of Mhok's character that will help him recognize himself in Day, and tell us why Mhok needs the relationship he has (or will have) to Day.

This is the only actual reflection we see in Episode 1. 

But I do want to comment on the end of the episode, like everyone else has, about part of the *The Little Prince* reading that Mhok does at the end. Namely the line "what is essential is invisible to the eye". 

I don't think, in a show with going blind as a part of its central theme that we really *need* to look deeper in to the significance/meaning of this line. But because I have been asked to talk about reflections, I want to go a little overboard on the line reading here. Because, day to day we can't see ourselves, right? We wouldn't know exactly what we look like if we couldn't look in to a mirror. Mirrors, reflections, are often a subject of insecurity, providing us the opportunity to pick at every flaw. In mirrors, dancers can watch and correct themselves, their body positions, tweak their choreography based on what they see that they normally would not be able to. Actors can practice facial expressions in the mirror, figure out how they have to hold themselves to make their emotions believable. In horror movies, mirrors show us what lurks in the background, in spy movies it shows us what exists around the corner. And in our deepest moments of guilt or shame, facing ourselves in the mirror becomes a challenge.

I don't want to get too ahead of myself on predictions about this show and what Aof is planning on doing with it, but personally I think the use of mirrors/reflections is a perfect way to show what is essential and invisible to the eye. Mhok is not looking at himself in the mirror here, and if we were standing in the room with him, we would not be able to see his face at all. But the side mirror of Rung's car allows us to see what Mhok is thinking and feeling. But he isn't looking in the mirror himself. He isn't and hasn't started facing or confronting his own grief, isolation, or pain. I don't know that Mhok is as of yet capable of seeing what he needs to change in his own life, because he hasn't reflected on his own life.

Episode 2

The first "reflection" we get in Episode 2 is not really a reflection, at least in the traditional sense, but I do still want to talk about it. I am of course talking about the selfie with Aon. 

Mostly because I wanted to acknowledge that to me, a photo is a kind of reflection in that you can both look back at yourself and also reflect on the memory of the time. To be honest, I don’t know exactly how I feel about Aon taking this picture of Mhok, because he takes it for the Society for the Blind. But how are they using it? Is this evidence that Mhok is here and doing what he said he will, or is this going to be used in marketing of some sort? Either way, it is capturing a moment in time that Mhok could one day look back on to reminisce about the beginning of his relationship with Day. 

And here Mhok is with someone else, a second person to accompany him where before he just had himself. But this is fake, this is quick, this is right after Mhok has just been shut out of all proceedings between Aon and Day. Mhok doesn’t know what’s happening before he is being told to smile for the camera. And if anyone were to see this photo, they would see a very happy Aon and a decently confused Mhok, but they would have no idea how limited a connection to Aon, Mhok would have had at this point. 

The next reflection is a bit difficult to see, but it comes during the conversation Day has with Mhok about the eye drops, where he explains he can see more clearly right after he uses them. In this scene, Day is talking to Mhok while keeping his gaze affixed to the lone goldfish in his increasingly grimier tank. 

Mhok and Day have a brief conversation about whether or not the fish is lonely since it is the only one in the tank, and Day brushes it off by saying that goldfish have short memory and that it couldn’t possibly be lonely. 

But, whenever we see Day on screen here, we see his reflection in the glass of the tank. And there are a few great moments during this conversation where the goldfish sits directly in front of Day’s reflection. To me it feels like a memory, a ghost, or a projection, and we know by the end of Episode 2, (if we haven’t picked up on it already from the title sequence or how heavily goldfish imagery has features in the promotional material for this show) that the goldfish is a stand in for Day himself. 

So I love the fact that we get this wisp of an image of Day’s face in the tank, like he’s trapped inside of it. Because we know that in a way he is. And the other thing I love about this, or rather about the fact that this goldfish is meant to symbolize Day himself, is that watching this goldfish is what brings Day the most joy at the moment. 

I love that because it shows me that there is hope and joy still left in Day, if he can just take the time to look at himself a little differently.

OKAY it’s time for the Big Boys. 

Our first instance of an actual reflection off a mirror in Episode 2 happens when Mhok is trying to check in with Day after Day runs away from Night’s friends. Mhok has said that he understands Day, and Day Does Not Like That™.

Day’s response to Mhok’s monologue is to say that Mhok has no idea what it is like to look in the mirror and not see your old self. And of course, we see Day’s reflection in his full body mirror. Now, again, Aof is being pretty heavy handed with his metaphors here. But that doesn’t mean I don’t absolutely love the double meaning of these words. Day is going blind so he literally can’t see himself in the mirror anymore. 

But also, Day is deep in his grief for the things he has lost. His freedom, his career, his confidence that I think he has morphed in to a completely different person. One who is bitter, and self-conscious, and more comfortable hiding away where he can wallow in misery over his condition and not have to confront the new world he is living in. Day is running from connection, I mean not a minute before this scene Day legitimately ran away from Night’s friends rather than have to explain his blindness. 

The scene continues, and Day shuts himself off even further from the world around him, by putting in his headphones. Now he can drown out Mhok’s attempts to comfort him, but in the long run what is that going to do? As @shortpplfedup said to me earlier “the set dressers did not come to play” when it came to designing Day’s room. When the curtains aren’t drawn there is so much natural light in Day’s room. His walls are bright and colorful, there are photos and awards all over the place. Day’s room has so much personality in it, so much life within it. But the mirror shows nothing. It shows Day alone, surrounded by blank walls in grayscale.

The costume designer made an excellent choice of shirt for this scene, by the way. Because the yellow blends in enough with the wall in Day’s room, that (especially) when coupled with the camera’s focus in this scene. The real Day almost fades in to the background, and your eye is naturally drawn to this spot of yellow in the mirror. 

The mirror highlights his isolation while at the same time showing the audience how much Day can and does stand out. 

AND it parallels the reflection of Mhok in Episode 1 so well, not just in the emotions that we see from Mhok and Day, but in the sense that Mhok’s reflection is in Rung’s car because he is currently trapping himself in the darker, meaner thoughts about his sister, rather than processing his grief. While Day’s reflection is in his room because he is currently trapping himself in the darker, meaner thoughts about himself, rather than giving himself enough compassion to start moving forward.

When Day does not respond to Mhok’s conversation, Mhok is triggered at the thought of his sister’s death and he breaks down the door to make sure Day is okay, and gets fired for it. Mhok does not argue, he does not put up a fight, he does not try to explain, he just honors Day’s request and gets the fuck out. And I love the way that Mhok is already starting to change Day’s outlook. Because we see how mopey Day is after Mhok leaves, and how much hope there is in him when Night tells him there is someone at the door who wants to see him and he so obviously thinks it’s Mhok. 

Mhok gives him the gift of the fish slippers, and Day goes to visit Mhok at the market, only to find out that Mhok has spent time reflecting on what Day told him about not understanding him, and making a fool out of himself in the eyes of the other market patrons by blindfolding himself. 

Mhok is doing what no one else has really done and is making a concerted effort to truly understand where Day is coming from, the fears that he is carrying, and the challenges he faces as a blind man. 

But of course, we know by now that while there are definitely things Mhok is had not or might never understand about the physical realities of Day’s life, he can understand loneliness, and he can understand rage, pain, and anger. There are parts of himself that have grown within him over the past year that recognizes parts of Day that have grown within him over the past year. 

And we have already been seeing the impact of Mhok on Day’s life, in the fact that Day has smiled more, Day has left his room, Day has eaten at the table, and agreed to watch a movie. And that singular day where Day did not wallow in his own misery, but left his room, went out in the sun, etc stuck with him because he is in the living room watching a movie the day Phorjai comes to visit. 

Culminating in the second real reflection of Episode 2, where Mhok, via the side mirror, sees Day smiling on the back of his scooter. And what I love about this moment is that the focus is entirely on Day. I don’t want Last Twilight to strip Day’s healing processes from him and give them to Mhok. I think it is totally fine for Mhok to contribute to Day’s increasing happiness, but ultimately I want Day to have enough autonomy in this narrative that these decisions that lead to him enjoying his life again are primarily comprised of Day’s own choices. And I think that we can get something visually from that by the fact that we don’t see a lot of Mhok in this reflection, only one small portion of his chin. 

Day made the choice to have Phorjai take him to see Mhok, Day made the choice to rehire Mhok, and Day is the one having a moment on the back of this scooter just reveling in the feeling of the wind on his face. I love that this reflection shows just enough of Mhok to show that Day is not alone, while still putting all of the attention in the reflection on to Day and the joy he is feeling. 

The idea that Day is no longer alone is reinforced after Mhok makes a pit stop to purchase a companion for the goldfish in Day’s room. And again we get in to some of my favorite instances of reflection in Last Twilight, where we place the boys’ reflections in the fish tank. 

And this is where the images from the intro sequence come from. Day looking at Day Noi and Big Mhok interacting with each other in the tank. Here we still have Day alone in the reflection, with the goldfish tying him to this symbolism. But Day’s reflection is so much clearer now that the tank has been cleaned. Now Day’s reflection in the water tank is far more obvious, and hey, since it’s me, I’ll overanalyze this moment to say that as Day has gotten to know Mhok a bit and has started venturing outside of his room more, that Day is getting a clearer vision of himself as a person. Regardless, we as the audience can see Day’s reflection in the tank all the more clearly and that reflection is vibrant and bright, because Day is becoming more vibrant and bright. 

“No More Loneliness Little Day” Mhok says and we get MY FAVORITE SHOT OF THE SHOW THUS FAR

The split screen. It’s not even a reflection, but I am talking about it here, because I think the absence of reflection is just as important as its presence, and I love that we have this moment where half of Day’s face is crystal clear and the other half is completely obscured. There is no trace of it. Considering how much Aof has been turning the camera on Day’s vision, we aren’t that far off of what Day sees in this shot. I like that this image has Day straddling these two worlds. 

And we get the final reflection of Episode 2, Mhok’s face in the fish tank. 

Again, I don’t even know that this is really intentional or it is just the way the reflection happened to have occurred, but I love the fact that not all of Mhok’s face is present within the fish tank. I like that Mhok is slowly encroaching on Day’s space, that Mhok is slowly starting to appear in the parts of Day’s life that Day actually cares about. Mhok is lonely and Day is lonely, and they have finally found someone they might be able to connect to. Big Mhok is there for Day Noi and Mhok is there for Day. 

I love that while the fish themselves are able to cross those barriers and that we get to see the fish swimming up and next to each other, that we have yet to see Mhok and Day’s reflections fully together. Even here, Mhok’s reflection in the fish tank is alone, just like Day’s reflection in the fish tank was alone. But they are in the same place, they are in the same room, they are in the same tank, they are in the same stage of their grief (anger) and there is no way in hell we don’t get one or more reflections in the mirror or in the fish tank by the end of this show where Mhok and Day are both fully present.

[astronicht]

re: Mordor's location

I'm confused! I can understand being annoyed that Mordor is in the east (for me, it's because any new birth/new beginnings symbolism fails. BUT on the other hand, it works great with tolkien's biblical stuff - from study.com, "'East of Eden' is an allusion to the Biblical Book of Genesis. After Cain murders his brother Abel, he is exiled to the land of Nod, 'east of Eden' (Genesis 4:16)". I LOVE Tolkien's biblical symbolism, and smeagol murdering his brother is a direct cain/abel reference, so having the evil be to the east really works for me.

So I guess I'm just wondering if a) the symbolism thing is what irritates you about Mordor's location (or if there's something else I'm missing), and b) how does the evil being in the north resolve this?

Hey cool question!

Caveat that I’m literally just liveblogging my first ever read of LOTR, so while I read Hobbit as a kid and I know the movies and a good portion of the medieval prose and poetry Tolkien is drawing on very well, the only LOTR text I can reference is… from the Shire to Weathertop. Additionally, my perspective is as a medievalist, but I wasn't raised Christian and can’t speak to Tolkien’s personal faith, just to how he might use (and does use) historical Christianity (and a bunch of non-Christian narratives) in his work. At least like. Up to Weathertop.

Short answer a) not exactly! b) Because I expected evil to be in the north, and it checked that box. So-- your particular interest in Christian symbolism is immediately relevant here, because about 700 years before the King James Bible, in the medieval literature (and medieval Christianity) among which Tolkien has settled his own Middle-Earth, people had very very strong feelings about the cardinal directions, and North was heavily associated with Lucifer — this being stated explicitly in an Old English retelling of Genesis called The Old English Hexameron. Here, Lucifer's fall starts like this:

"with a presumptuous pride (moodiness) he said that he would make his throne above the stars of God, over the height of the clouds, in the north part, and be like unto God." (p. 17; not my translation but my guy Henry Wilkins Norman nailed it)

mid dyrstigre modignysse cwæð ðæt he wolde wyrcan his cynesetl bufan Godes tunglum ofer ðæra wolcna heannysse on ðam norð dæle and beon Gode gelic. (p. 16)

In non-Christian stories (though written down centuries later by Christians), the Gylfaginning in the Prose Edda describes Hel as “down and to the North” (sorry, just a link wiki here). So, same idea, and beyond these texts, North is generally associated with hell, death, or evil in early medieval literature, much more clearly than East usually is (even factoring in Old English and Old Norse stories about Cain, Attila the Hun, and the more exciting fauna of the Indian subcontinent, all of which formed the early medieval idea of East). Thus, finding out that an original Big Bad, of whom Sauron was “but a servant,” had once made his throne in the north made me go “OH! He didn’t forget after all!” in utter frustrated delight. My confusion wasn't exactly with evil in the east; it was the lack of evil in the north.

(this reply is really long, but my main point ends here, for anyone looking to bail out)

Actually, Genesis retellings in Old English are absolutely fascinating; I’m not wedded to Christian-only symbolism, but if it’s what you enjoy a lot, I very much suggest looking into the Hexameron and Genesis A, both great examples and very well known to Tolkien.

Personally I suspect I'll end up reading the symbolism of Mordor in the east as a more complex and varied thing than solely a reference to Cain's banishment. But to be really clear, in saying that I'm definitely not saying that Cain and Nod aren't valid interpretations (especially when they work for you so well!). Just my guess and my perspective. Old evil in the north and Mordor in the east is really interesting! So was the story of how Hobbits etc wandered out of the east to colonize the Shire, in another early medieval echo. And with Aragorn's throwaway "In those days the Great Enemy, of whom Sauron of Mordor was but a servant, dwelt in Angband in the North" I got an extra point on the map, from which the story immediately unspooled into an even wider and richer thing. Which is so neat, I love everyone in this bar, etc.

Just a quick further note on Smeagol, because I happen to have just gone past this bit and it's fresh! As far as I know at uhhh this very early point in LOTR (maybe it's changed later), Deagol was not his brother but simply his friend: “He had a friend called Deagol, of a similar sort, sharper-eyed but not so quick and strong” (though if you like the Cain and Abel imagery, this doesn't change that much tbh! I can see how it hits that note regardless). They are under the same matriarch (perhaps implying family ties) who eventually throws Smeagol out years after Deagol's murder; I liked that bit, bc I have no idea where Tolkien's pulling proto-hobbit matriarchs from yet, and Smeagol later lied and said the matriarch had given him the One Ring, implying that she was a ring-giver like an Old English/Norse thane or king. Smeagol and Deagol (and Frodo) are also wrapped up in lots of different tropes and symbols; Cain and Abel, yes, but also Beowulf and Grendel, and probably some other stuff I'll notice in like 10 years and yell at the ghost of Tolkien about. I think these stories work so well because they’re layers upon layers. It’s stories all the way down, you know!

Much like this reply, which is endless, so sorry about that.

[the-letterbox-archives]

archival file 4801805 (tag game)

thank you @corinneglass for the tag!! i loved reading reine's answers to these questions, and i'm so excited to hop on this tag game too! i'll be using sunny for this one, because she has poisoned my brain and i physically cannot think of anyone else.

what uncommon/common fear do they have?

rejection, for sure.

do they have any pet peeves?

people talking over her, but that falls under her ‘i hate annoying people who don’t respect me’ trait.

what are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

a lot of journals of local gossip/people-watching info, a lot of bandages/bandaids, and pictures of her and darcy (though those are hidden to the point nobody could find them except her or darcy).

what do they notice first in a person?

how they talk. she uses that as an entry to get a read on their general confidence and the rest of their demeanour.

on a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

psychologically, very high, about 7-10, if it hasn’t directly happened to her or she didn’t actively witness it; she’s good at relaying news of tragedy to others or hearing about tragedy without getting upset about it. in terms of psychological pain that she actively experiences, i’d put it around a 4. physical pain comes in above average, maybe a 6.5.

do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

neither, i think. i imagine she’s pretty versatile in response, but i doubt she’d ever go straight to fight (she is super weak), so of the two, i’d go with flight. if we extend it to the four responses (fight, flight, freeze, and fawn), i think freeze is most common for her in relation to a situation not exactly initiated by a person, maybe fawn depending on if it’s a certain person that’s related to/causing the pressure.

do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

sunny comes from a very small family, and that actually caused a lot of issues for her. she’s got a complicated relationship to family, so she’s not a family oriented person.

what animal represents them best?

fox, definitely. cute and cunning! or maybe a scorpion, like in the fable.

what is a smell that they dislike?

she’s sensitive to any really strong scent, like something you’d find in a super strong candle store. it’s less so the smell, but the overpowering quality of it.

have they broken any bones?

yes, more than once, both at spencer’s and at home, but a very long time ago.

how would a stranger likely describe them?

a girl with a lot of attitude, in a stuffy private school uniform, but seems wholly out of place where she is, though they can’t quite place why...

are they a night owl or a morning bird?

there are certain circles of girls who stay up to the early hours of the morning studying/gossiping/drinking/etc, and sunny is a proud member of that group. she usually conks out around 2-4am, to get up at 7am for school (though she sleeps until the afternoon on weekends).

what is a flavour they hate and a flavour they love?

loves sweet and sour tastes separately, hates them together.

do they have any hobbies?

journaling and artistic hobbies like nature drawings and embroidery.

boom, surprise birthday party! how do they react to surprises?

a bit surprised, not because she doesn’t expect people to know her birthday (she’s announced it on the show in the past), but because she didn’t except anyone to care. she would feign expectation, like she knew it would happen, then go straight to darcy and ask if she organised this. i think overall sunny would act up the “oh, i knew this would happen, i’m the best haha,” but internally be very taken aback at the display.

do they like to wear jewellery?

only as a symbol of power.

do they have neat or messy handwriting?

doctor-levels of messy.

what are the two emotions they feel the most?

schadenfreude and indifference.

do they have a favourite fabric?

wool knit, especially the blazers and jackets the uniform supplies, though she isn’t particularly picky.

what kind of accent do they have?

she’s american, so it’s a pretty simple 20’s american accent. she’s very good at hiding her accent though, so i imagine during broadcasts she’d use something a bit more transatlantic, and that would slip through into her normal voice.

tagging @introchasingstars, @honeybewrites, @paeliae-occasionally, @ominous-feychild, @the-golden-comet,

@noxxytocin, @moltenwrites, @tc-doherty, @the-ellia-west, @theverumproject,

@thecrazyalchemist, @laylathewordwitch, @dragonedged-if, @leitereads, @autism-purgatory,

@gioiaalbanoart, @drchenquill, @fenmere, @leahnardo-da-veggie, @melpomene-grey,

@yourpenpaldee, @agirlandherquill, @willtheweaver, @nczaversnick,

@davycoquette, @glassfrogforest, @princeofhags, @wyked-ao3, @fantasy-things-and-such, + open tag!