#and Jackson and him bond over both being mixed

[shadow-yato]

Can you draw your Jackson and however your version of Eyera like this please? :] I think your version of Eyera would look super cool :]

They’re besties :)

[fellow-travelers-fic-recs]

Fellow Travelers Fic Recs | Monthlyish Recap (Part Two)

Some of the favorite fics read by FTFR and/or newly posted in May and June! This is a big one, friends... So, I'll be breaking it up into two parts. (Part One: Here)

😇 🍕 This time around, we have not one, but two very special afterlife AU’s, a pizza delivery driver AU and a few other fantastic recent updates in some ongoing WIPs you might already be keeping track of. You can the most recent chapters posted here: Featured WIPs Rec List

💦 May wasn't so much of a collection as it was a trio of prompts, with “missing years”, “May I…” and “International Wankers Day” being on May 28. You will find them mixed throughout this month's rec list.

🧁 Of course, June 6 was our beloved Catholic boy from Staten Island’s birthday, and there were a couple of fics to celebrate! 🎄 Mary and Tim celebrate Christmas in the 1950s, while 1980s Hawk makes good on a special wish Tim made long ago. ✍️Hawk breaks his promise not to write… While Tim breaks his vow not to give into unholy temptation. 🙏 ☀️ Kenny and Leonard forge a summertime bond before the war ... While Jackson reconnects with dad’s special friend from the cabin, out in San Francisco. 🚗

These are just a few of the many great new fics posted in the past two months. It's been hard to keep up with them all! Check out the links below.

📚 More fic recs can be found at the fic register, here.

Not quite what you're looking for? Tell us what you had in mind, here! → 💌

✨ Show our amazing authors some love with your comments and kudos on the fics you enjoyed after reading! Likes are lovely, but please reblog this post to share this content with your mutuals! ✨

Happy Reading!

🧁 A Wish Your Heart Makes [G, 1K] @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) “Happy birthday,” she wished, the final notes of the traditional song sounding in his ears. She set the cake on the cleared table, unapologetic about how much she had to have spent on making it. "Make a wish."

Tim stared at the trio of flickering candles marking his twenty-fifth birthday. Maggie's patient gaze rested on him, as knowing as they had always been. She knew what Tim's heart had automatically wished for, what he knew was impossible. But this was his birthday, and birthday wishes were magical.

A snippet of Tim's birthday.

🧁 Happy Birthday, Mr. Laughlin [E, 1K] by @beyondxmeasure | Cyantific Hawk tries to make it up to Tim for missing his birthday. Tim's only wish is a gift they can both enjoy.

A missing scene, of sorts, of the Rehoboth Beach weekend getaway.

🧁 Bring Love's Dreams [G, 3K] @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) The morning and evening of Tim's birthday in San Francisco, 1957

Canon divergent fluff.

☀️ Only The Lucky Ones Come Home [M, 1K] by @jesterlesbian | captainquint It didn’t make sense. Kenny wasn’t in Italy, he wasn’t in Europe. He was sent somewhere in the Pacific, Hawk wasn’t quite sure. That was the last he had heard. So how could Kenneth Willard be bleeding out at his feet in Velletri?

“You did this.”

The blood in Hawk’s veins turned to ice at Kenny’s words.

Or, Hawk has a nightmare about his time in the war.

⛱️ My Composure Sort Of Slips [E, 4K] by @bre1995 | bre_thomas, @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar)

It all started at the Nomad Bar when Hawk left Tim on his own.

Based on their weekend getaway trip, with a filler scene of what happened in the hotel room before dinner.

☀️i'll set fire to the whole place [G, 500] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup Lucy sat at Hawk’s desk, looking at the envelope, signed with a painfully familiar handwriting. She swore to herself she will never repeat a mistake of reading letters from that man, but with years passed she began to suspect that in that marriage she was bound to make the same mistakes over and over.

⛱️ Nobody gets to heaven if they don't go through hell [E, 5K] by @doodlingawaits | DoodlingAwaits In the past, I held two truths. My love for you and my love for God. One was real and one was a fantasy. It's 1968 and Tim is hiding out in Hawk's hunting cabin. He struggles to reconcile what he truly feels as he finds himself surrounded by reminders of Hawk's betrayal and his love. All the while, he cannot control his more primal desires... and neither can Hawk.

Part 1 of Man's Second Best Friend

☀️ritual and liturgy [M, 525] by @redmyeyes | redmyeyes It’s stress relief, nothing more.

Part 8 of Fellow Travelers 

Part 2 of Man's Second Best Friend

⛱️i'm only alive when i'm dreaming of you [E, 918] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup Hawk spends the afternoon picturing Tim kneeling, but not exactly in prayer.

Part 3 of Man's Second Best Friend

☀️ in the night when I start to miss you [E, 2K] by @alorchik | alorchik One night, a shared fantasy, and two souls, entwined across time and space.

Part 4 of Man's Second Best Friend

⛱️ Don’t Pull Your Love Out [E, 5K] by @beyondxmeasure | Cyantific Hawk visits Tim in prison, and it stirs up a lot of feelings, and a lot of memories.

Part 5 of Man's Second Best Friend

☀️ Five Tim Laughlin Recipes by Hawkins Fuller [E, 3K] by @alorchik | alorchik After 35 years together with Tim Laughlin, Hawkins Fuller unveils his collection of recipes.

Or, Hawk shares his notes (written mostly for himself because he would never let anyone touch Tim)

⛱️ Might Drive Me Crazy [NR, 1K] by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) Hawk helps Tim get ready for a party. More or less.

☀️that light was too alluring and in your radiance i shook [E, 1K] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup A missing scene between the undressing and the hand job parts.

⛱️ Life Is Just A Memory [T, 1K] by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) Sometimes, Hawk remembered the small things. Flashes of memory, impressions. Sweetness. Gentility. Tanned skin and a bright grin across the tennis court. The shine of the sun in his hair and the way it had lit up his eyes just right. The curl of his smile. The flush on his cheeks as he held their trophy. The way he felt under Hawk's arm the only times Hawk could risk touching him in public.

Hawk lets himself remember Kenny.

☀️ look at me, i'm too far gone [E, 765] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup “What is it?” Tim nods at the dark fabric in Hawk’s hands.

“A blindfold,” Hawk answers, enjoying the way Tim’s face goes from confused to excited as it clicks in his head.

Or, a blindfold smut we all deserve.

⛱️ Together As One Let us come [E, 1K] by@ jiuselvtizidaren💠 What happened in the hotel room, in this temporary sanctuary enclosed within those four walls? Hawk had his own plan, but improvisation is the spice of life.

☀️ It's Rude To Speak With Your Mouth Full [E, 1K] by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) Hawk was playing with fire, he knew, but the minute Tim had walked into his office, eyes lighting up just from the sight of him, Hawk had been powerless to resist. Whatever his boy wanted, he would have. And when Tim stepped between Hawk's legs, dropping to his knees with the grace of a lifetime of devotion - well, there were definite perks to working late.

Yet another office sex fic.

⛱️ The People who Loved Hawkins Fuller [NR. 2K] by SourLeminade💠 The conversation between Tim and Lucy goes longer than what the show aired. Lucy needs to know what happened and Tim knows he only has so much time left to give her that closure.

☀️ i'll set fire to the whole place [G, 500] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup Lucy sat at Hawk’s desk, looking at the envelope, signed with a painfully familiar handwriting. She swore to herself she will never repeat a mistake of reading letters from that man, but with years passed she began to suspect that in that marriage she was bound to make the same mistakes over and over.

⛱️ And in a dream I'm a different me With a perfect you, we fit perfectly And for once in my life I feel complete And I still want to ruin it. [E, 404] By @in-our-special-place | Cupping_Cakes “That's not what I'm afraid of.”

☀️ Never be enough to fill me up [E, 537] By @in-our-special-place | Cupping_Cakes He'd been everything a lover should be but never loved the way he should have.

I come along, but I don't know where you're taking me. [E, 551] By @in-our-special-place | Cupping_Cakes But when the tremors subsided and she lay there smoking her cigarette, she was left feeling empty and hating herself for the weakness she felt—for needing Hawks touch so desperately. She knew she should have left him and found someone else who could truly love her, but the thought of losing him, even with everything, was too much for her to bear.

⛱️ It Can Wait 'Til Morning [M, 1K] by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) Hawk calls Tim late at night.

1950s era almost phone sex.

☀️ god bless all petty thieves [G, 2K] by @thewindyoubargainedfor | thewindyoubargainedfor Tim meets Jackson at the hunting cabin. Years later, he gets a call.

⛱️ stay awhile (baby, you won't regret it) [E, 1K] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup “It’s something I work on,” he says, for some reason sounding apologetic. “I said it’s not a good time.”

“I can help you with that,” Tim offers. “Or, I can do something that will help you focus.”

“You’re not helping me focus on work, for sure,” Hawk murmurs, stepping closer and putting his hands on the desk, bracketing Tim between it and his body.

Or, an inappropriate use of the desk in Hawk's apartment.

☀️ with your hand you kept the real world outside [T, 964] by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup “I’m sorry,” he hears himself saying. Tim's eyes open wide, like doesn’t understand what Hawk is sorry for, either. “I’m sorry that I can’t give you what you want. You want to be able to kiss in public, like that couple in the restaurant. You want to stay the weekend and leave whenever you want, not afraid that people will see. Maybe you even want to live together, so you don’t have to leave at all.”

Or, a little fantasy after the "Hit me" scene.

⛱️ No more hiding, Hawkins Fuller. Not today. [T, 1K] By @carnivalrow | nightfall_in_winter Hawk can't bottle up his feelings for Tim any longer...

Check out the May/June Recap Part One Here

💠Authors: If your tumblr (or other socials) isn’t linked, and you'd like it to be, let me know and I'll be happy to add it! Or, if you’re linked already and would prefer not to be, please contact me to remove it.

[punkeropercyjackson]

Spiderpunks 2023

It's mega crossover fusion of Hobie leading a team of Spiderpunk Variants,my choices for the mantle giving based on their similarities to Hobie himself.This au was created with the purpose of Hobie appreciation outside of shipping!!

The other Spiderpunks are all black,either mixed or monoracial,regardless of canonicity but i did include mostly canon black characters!

The lineup:Hobart 'Hobie' Brown(Spiderpunk),Perseo 'Percy' Jackson(Punkero),Katara 'Don't call me Kat' Aipaluk(Seapunk),Stephanie 'Steph' Brown(Punkweaver),Ichigo Kurosaki(Punk Reaper),Marceline and Marshall Lee Abadeer(Spiderblud and Bluspider),Kat 'Don't call me Kit Kat' Elliot(Hellpunk),Katniss Everdeen(Punk 13),Sonic The Hedgehog(Chaos + Yes really,he's their Spiderham equivalent),Ekko Williams(Solpunk),Kipo Oak(Bitepunk),Nimona Boldheart(Arachna)and Rainbow Dash(Punkboom + Again yeah not joking,i love doing these)

Percy and the Abadeer Twins are 22,Katara and Nimona are 14,Stephanie and Ichigo are 19,Kat is 13,Sonic is 15,Ekko is 23,Kipo is 18 and Rainbow Dash is 20.Hobie's age is ambigious because I'm Tired Of The Discourse Around It So Let's Just Not

Spiderpunks is their shared mantle and also team name

It's Atsv!Hobie,not comics Hobie,based and functions as per the title as a 2023 starting sequel run to Atsv and is going to be a semi-long runner(above average comics team run length but not by a ridicilous amount)

They're completely seperate from Spider Society in affiliation,either completely or by the time of Issue 1 depending on the Spiderpunk in question

Percy is the Team Parent since he is in his books and the kids view him are as their big sibling figure and pseudo-parent and the other adults and him are found siblings except him and Stephanie who're just regular besties.There's no interteam ships except Kat x Nimona,which is instant best friends to lovers

The other ships are Percy/Lex(my s/i and her Gwen Stacy),Katara/Aang,Stephanie/Cass,Ichigo/Orihime,Marceline/Bonnibel and Marshall Lee/Gary,Katniss/Peeta,Ekko/Miel(another s/i of mine)and Rainbow Dash/Fluttershy

The whole team is trans and audhd along with being black-Percy is transfem bigender though,jic her any pronouns swag causes any confusion

Their theme song is Snickers or Reese's by Direct Hit!

Their meet up place is Sonic's Speed Cafe on Earth ♾️(emoji for accuracy)and it was created for him as a thanks for his good deeds and anarchistic actions in his civillian persona

Hobie and Stephanie joke about being siblings because of they're both jamaican and last named 'Brown'

Ekko and Percy bond over being afrosolarpunk specifically

And Hobie,Percy and Katara are the 'Unrestrained Seas' trio

Hobie,Percy,Katara,Ichigo and Stephanie are something of a Core Five because they were the first members of Spiderpunks and were around just them for a bit before the rest came along

Sonic and Rainbow Dash have matching star shaped goggles Percy made for them inspo'd by a certain bluehaired punk tgirl from an in-universe series she's a fan

Kipo bites as affection out of Mute genes and autism(therian vibes)and that's how she earned her nickname and Nimona also does because she's not a girl,she's a shark.I do this so nonblacks don't be stupid

The Abadeer Twins provide the most spontaneous music but they all get in on it.None to their level though

Katniss took the longest to warm up to everybody,only out of pure loneliness beforehand,not even having met Peeta yet at her debut

Wendell and Wild are honorary members in the same way Spidermutt and Mrs.O'Leary are

Percy has his blue laces like Hobie does.......And not for the aesthetic.Rest in Piss Poseidon Waters

Also Stephanie has pink laces and that IS for the aesthetic <3 Pastel afropunk feminist queen!!!

Instead of Watches,they have Badges provided by Rukia,Ichigo's Guy In The Chair and decorated to their tastes assigned by his ramblings of them by Orihime,his Gwen Stacy and MJ fusion

Katara's Canon Event is being punk /srs.Ffr just look at her in Atla itself,she was a 14 year old eco-terrorist and revolutionary who ended up marrying the guy who literally invented decolonization in their verse.Kataang is punk4punk excellence

Hobie is everybody's favorite and gets special treatment because he deserves and has earned it after what a brutal ass adultifying childhood with no friends he went through

Ekko plays a mean kalimba and can cook real good so he's assigned the Chill Dude™️ and chef of the Spiderpunks

They try to help out Kat and Nimona get together but subtly as to not make them feel forced to be together(Hobie loves teasing them though <333)

Lex de los Santos is an Anomaly as Earth 27's,Percy's dimension,Ghostspider but thankfully survives like our Gwen and Miel Williams is an MJ who's happily married to Ekko for a year now

They share and steal eachother's clothes and sleep in the same gigantic ass homemade bed when they can in their base:The Anarchy Web,a futuristic organic huge house they accidentally created in a spidey pocket dimension

@theautisticcentre

[braveclementine]

Chapter 34

Warnings: 18+readersonly, teasing, threats of brat taming

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own a few OCs like Elizabeth, Katherine, Stacy, and Jessie. I do not condone any copying of this.

Elizabeth, Jessie, Katherine, Pietro, Vision, and Hogun all got married three weeks later. It was a beautiful ceremony where Jessie wore silver, Katherine wore light pink, and Elizabeth wore white. Pietro wore silver as well, Vision was in human form wearing red, and Hogun was wearing a deep blue lined with black and silver.

The bonding ceremony was beautiful, though shorter than your own. In the end, Elizabeth, Pietro, Vision, and Hogun got a wave symbol for their soulmate bond. Jessie and Pietro were a simple flower while Katherine and Pietro got sun symbols.

Eventually they all dispersed after the ceremony- Wanda included.

Time seemed to pass afterwards. They still stayed with you, even after the wedding, as they were preparing to buy their own house- without Tony's help. They had decided that they would be moving to Florida, and by the time our children were born, they would be leaving.

It was only a month after the wedding that both Elizabeth and Jessie got pregnant. Jessie was obviously carrying Pietro's kid, but Thor let the others know that Elizabeth was carrying Hogun's child.

Elizabeth was ecstatic. I mean, they all were. Everyone was happy and everything was great.

Nothing had changed in your family dynamic- which was fantastic. You were still rotating through everyone, though you did spend just a bit more time with Fury, T'Challa, and Bucky.

Bucky had some fears about being a child, especially with his soldier serum coursing through his veins. And though he had been cured of being the winter soldier a long time ago, there was still a part of him that feared it might come back. That he might relapse. That his metal arm was a danger to any child that we had.

A few sweet, honest words and he was settled back down though. Shuri's surgery had worked and there was possible way for Bucky to become the winter soldier again except by choice. Not to mention, it had been a few years since Thanos, so the only bad thing was his nightmares.

As Rhodey and Bucky had predicted, Alpine did have kittens. Tony made sure that F.R.I.D.A.Y. captured Fury's reaction- which had been priceless.

"Guess what?" Bucky had asked, walking into the kitchen, holding Mini Loki.

"What?" Fury grunted over his cup of coffee, eyeing Mini Loki with dislike while Maria rubbed his shoulder soothingly next to him.

"Alpine had kittens! Isn't that wonderful!"

Fury spit his coffee out. "Maria, we need to get out of this house! There's um- a shopping center that just opened up and I want you to um, take a look at it!"

He grabbed her hand, slamming the cup of coffee down and basically ran the two of them out of the house.

Tony laughed once Fury exited. "F.R.I.D.A.Y., please send that to my email and make sure to save that in my favorite videos. I'd like to post it to YouTube later."

"He will kill you." Coulson and Steve said together, not bothering to look up from the breakfast table.

The months were slow but steady. Around the fifth month, you were quite large. Stephen became your main caregiver, just as he had a lot more experience in the medical field with this sort of thing. Not that he had ever been a birth doctor, but he had gone through medical school and knew more than the others.

Of course, none of this stopped the others from having sex with you. In fact, you even seemed hornier just by being pregnant. And they were all more than willing to satisfy your needs.

Stacy had her baby. A little boy that her and Jackson named Alexander Drake Portolio. He was a sweet little thing with Stacy's green eyes and Jackson's red hair. It was a strange mix on the little boy with freckles already dotted across his face, but he was cute.

You rolled over, coming face to face with Rhodey as you woke up one morning. "Hey hot mama." He mumbled sleepily, running his hand through your hair.

"Hi Sugar." You smiled, closing your eyes again to rest your head on his chest. It was hard to lay on your side anymore- especially now that you were nearing the nine-month mark.

"How are you feeling about the baby shower today?" James asked, running a hand along you're protruding stomach.

"Nervous. I can't wait to know what the genders of the babies are though." You said. "I wonder what Elizabeth will do with the cake, since its' triplets."

"Something Harry Potter themed probably." James joked and you laughed. "How about a bath this morning?"

"That sounds good." You said, sitting up while James slipped from the bed, running a hand over his hair as he made his way to the bathroom, flipping on lights. You could hear the water running in the bath while you stretched your arms above your head.

You picked up the glass of slightly stagnant water from last night, drinking the rest as your throat was still a bit sore.

"It's ready Hot mama." Rhodey said, coming over to help you to your feet. He grinned down at you, brushing your lips together, which you met with eagerly. He chuckled, pulling away when you let out a needy moan against his tongue. "C'mon, bath. You need to relax."

You didn't want to relax, you wanted to ride him, but you reluctantly let him lead you to the bathroom. He helped you over the bath edge and then helped you into a sitting position before climbing in with you.

"Hair or body first?" He asked, motioning to the shampoos and soaps on the tub edge.

"Hair." You said, scooting forwards some so that he had plenty of room behind you.

You always loved when one of your boys did your hair, especially if it was Fury, Sam, or Stephen. They seemed to have rather magical hands when they did it. Bucky was the only one who didn't want to wash your hair- afraid he'd use to much strength with his metal arm, or that the armor plates would retract and your hair would get stuck between the joints.

He was a bit better with the vibranium arm of course, no joints there, but he was still rather careful.

Rhodey's fingers seemed to almost massage your scalp. You smiled a little, finally relaxing like he wanted you to.

Rhodey grabbed the nozzle, rinsing the soap out of your hair. You conditioned the ends of your hairs, rinsing that away, while Rhodey grabbed a blue bar of Dove soap, rubbing soothing circles all over your body.

"James." You mumbled as he finished washing his own body.

"Damn Y/N." Rhodey muttered, a small smile on his face. "Last night wasn't enough?"

"It's never enough with anyone." You grumbled, being a slight brat. "I don't know why I'm so horny all the time."

Rhodey just chuckled, helping you to your feet again and handing you a towel to dry off. "We have to get ready for the baby shower. Later all your needs will be satisfied."

You grumbled a little, but didn't argue because- god damnit- he was right.

You dressed in a F/C maternity dress with flat, sturdy white sneakers for support. Wanda helped you pull back your hair, tying it up in an elegant knot with white ribbon.

"Thanks Wanda." You said with a smile.

"No problem Y/N." Wanda said, fixing up her own hair now while you started on the makeup.

"Has Elizabeth finished the cake yet? Cause none of us are allowed downstairs till she has." You said.

"She's putting the finishing touches to it right now." Wanda said. "She said she'd text when she sticks it in the fridge."

"How are you feeling about the upcoming move to Florida?" You asked. They'd decided they wait. Give birth here, and then that was when they would move.

"I'm kind've excited." Wanda said sincerely. "It will be far away from you guys, but its' not as far, especially with magical portals, no?"

You smiled, "Very true."

Wanda's phone lit up with a text from Elizabeth giving us the all clear. Rhodey knocked on the door to let us know that he was heading downstairs.

"Is everyone else here?" You asked.

"Nat and Bruce are the only ones left to show up." Wanda said. "Even the Guardians got here quicker than them. But," She smirked, "they probably had a late night."

You giggled, "Very true."

Oh right! The Supreme Court had made some changes to the law. Those medically unable-like Nat and the widows, or Vision- were not required to have children. The rules had lightened up a bit- including the penalty for not having enough children- and things were a bit more relaxed now.

You got up, leaving the bedroom with Wanda. Wanda went down the hall and down a set of stairs that led to the guest wing, while you took the main staircase to the kitchen.

Elizabeth looked tired, like she had been up for hours. Her own baby bump was rather large, though nowhere near as big as yours.

"Morning Y/N!" She said cheerfully enough, setting out a plate of eggs, sausage, and a bowl of fruit in it. A small piece of avocado was on your plate as well, making you wrinkle your nose.

"Oi!" Elizabeth scolded, pointing the spoon at you. "I hate avocado too but you are carrying three babies! Eat healthy!"

You let out an exaggerated sigh, eating the nasty green vegetable- fruit whatever- first, rinsing the nasty taste out with a mixture of milk and delicious sausage.

"What time is it?" You questioned Clint next to you.

"Ten in the afternoon. The official baby shower starts at twelve though."

"Where is everyone?"

"Peter and Gamora are showing their daughter around town. Nebula and Kraglin might be with them, although I don't know where the tree and raccoon are." Clint said with a shrug before eating more of his oatmeal. "Thor is probably with them. Bucky is probably wherever the racoon is not."

"He keeps trying to buy my arm." Bucky grunted, coming into the kitchen. He was wearing a leather jacket and a glove was covering his metal hand.

You hid your smile as Bucky grabbed a bowl of apple jacks to eat, leaning against the kitchen counter with his back to the wall so that Rocket couldn't sneak up on him. His eyes continuously roved the kitchen.

"Hey T!" You called over to T'Challa, "Does Shuri still have Bucky's old metal arm?"

"It is possible, why?" T'Challa questioned, confusion written all over his face.

"To give to Rocket." You said with a shrug and a grin. "Might get him away from Bucky's arm he's using now."

"Yes, give that to him." Bucky groaned. "Please!"

"I will let Shuri know." T'Challa said with a bit of a smile.

"You locked up all of the guns, right?" Clint asked everyone in the room, "Cause Rocket will take whatever guns he can get."

"Shit!" Tony jumped up from the table, "My lab!"

He raced down the hallway towards his lab.

"Yeah, Rocket would definitely pillage that." Clint smirked.

"Yes, Steve, Sam, and I locked everyone's guns up safely." Bucky grunted.

"I don't think that would stop him." Loki deadpanned at the table.

The breakfast table banter continued while Elizabeth slaved away at the stove, dishing out plates and plates of food, though you didn't actually ever see her eat anything herself.

"Tony should start paying you." You smirked as Elizabeth set another bowl of eggs in front of us, the boys immediately digging in, though you could've sworn that they'd already had three plates of food.

She just shrugged, a small smile on her face. You knew she really didn't mind. This was exactly what Elizabeth wanted in life. A peaceful life where she cared for her husbands and children. This was just a practice for her- and she was damn good at it. She would be a fantastic mother you were sure.

Twelve o'clock came sooner than expected and things were moved outside, under a large canopy. The Guardians were back. Bucky sat tensely by your side while Rocket sat on the other side of the table, his eyes never leaving Bucky.

"Can I stun him?" Bucky muttered under his breath.

"No." You muttered back, smirking. You knew that he and rocket had actually made a really good duo back during the war. Unfortunately, Rocket had grown an obsession over his arm and it was all he could think about now.

Bucky sunk down in his chair while Steve took a seat next to him, hiding the smile on his face.

"It's not funny punk." Bucky gritted out of his teeth.

"I didn't say it was." Steve said mildly.

"How are you, my Nkosazana?" T'Challa asked, coming up behind you to hug you from behind. He rested his hands on your stomach, feeling the babies kicking inside. "They are extremely active today."

"They've been active all week." You said with a little laugh. "They want out."

"Well Stark did just finish off their rooms." Fury said, sitting on the other side of you. Maria and Coulson sat down on the other side of him, both of them in deep conversation about something.

"Really?" You asked, surprised. "Everything? Without even knowing their genders?"

"Well, he did say that the probability of them being all girls or all boys were very slim so he made two rooms up that could fit two of both genders in them, technically more, but he's prepared." Fury smirked.

Elizabeth brought out the cake, setting in front of you, winking. "It is a bit. . . unconventional, I admit."

You couldn't see anything wrong with the cake. There was a plain, white frosting on the outside of it, not unlike the frosting that had been layered on Steve's cake. The decorations on top were very simple, just a black eyepatch, a small black cat, and a red star.

Elizabeth cut the cake directly down the middle, sliding the two pieces aside. They looked liked two halves of a different cake. On one side, there was a double layer of chocolate cake, and blue frosting in between each chocolate layer. On the other side, it was only layered once, white cake and pink frosting.

Everyone looked at Elizabeth, who was blushing slightly. She pointed the knife at the chocolate and blue. "Fury and T'Challa are having boys." She turned the knife towards the vanilla, "Bucky is having a girl."

You started to laugh, realizing the colours of the chocolate were the skin tones of your boys and the frosting was the gender of the children.

"So, remember, when you do her cake, you have to make the cake yellow." Sam whispered in my ear, making me laugh even harder.

It was all light humor and then the cake was passed around. Presents were given to the four of you- well really your babies.

Once the baby shower was finally over- about six hours later- and the party was cleaned up, you couldn't wait to get someone to take you upstairs. You had been badgering the others for a long time.

"You know what Stevie is?" Bucky asked darkly in your ear, arms wrapped tightly just above the baby bump. "He's Captain America, he's the golden boy. He's an agent, a killer, a lover, a husband, and he'll be a father. But I swear above everything else doll, Stevie is a brat tamer."

Steve and Sam were the only ones who overheard this, cracking smiles. Steve winked at you and you whimpered, feeling the need to be filled intensity with Bucky's last words and Steve's just utter hotness.

"Please." You whimpered, not even caring how many people were surrounding you.

"Y/N!" Tony shouted, running over to you, eyes bright. You nearly started crying on the spot. "C'mon, I have something I want to show you beautiful."

You let him lead you upstairs and down the unused hallway where he opened up the doors to reveal one of the bedrooms.

"Whoa." You said, horny thoughts banished to the back of your mind. "Tony this is-"

"I want our little girl to have the best." He said, smiling over his shoulder at you. "I can already just imagine her in here. Sleeping under there with her stuffed animals. I can picture you sitting next to her, reading her bedtime stories. I can imagine her during the day, running up those stairs and squealing as she slides down the slide. Of course, she's in the crib for now-" He pointed to a lovely, same shaded pink and white crib that was pushed up against the wall.

Everything was a rather overwhelming pink colour, admittedly. But it was also adorable and very princess like.

"I do need to fix the flooring a bit." Tony admitted, "More carpets. I don't want her running on this hard floor until she's a bit older."

You loved how Tony was calling her his daughter, even though she was biologically Bucky's. You were glad that he was seeing them with any difference of his kids.

"I love you Bubba." You mumbled, kissing Tony's cheek.

He chuckled, "You haven't even seen the boys room yet."

You laughed, taking his hand and let him guide you to the boys room. Upon opening the door, you gaped.

It was definitely larger than the girls room. But at the same time, it felt much smaller as there wasn't as much open space as the girls' room.

It looked as though there was a tree growing in the room, with a house on it. There was a ladder that would take them up and down the inside of the tree. The house opened up to show there was one small bed in there, perfect for a kid up until perhaps the age of 12 or 13, depending on how tall he was.

There were rope bridges on either side, that led out into the bedroom. Tunnels connected beds to other beds, while the bridges led to these beds. There were also two hammocks that were hanging near the tree in case they wanted to sit down and read.

There was a large bookcase as well, already stocked with little kids picture books on one side of the room. Behind the beds was what seemed to be a more open area, with large chairs and couches. A TV was there- although you couldn't see a remote. There were more toys over here with boxes full of huge lego blocks and wooden blocks. Small toy cars and those foam mats that you had to put together like puzzle pieces.

There were also toys for a girl, and you realized now that there was a set of double doors that connected the girls room to the boys. And another door that led to the bathroom.

The biggest feature was another tree house, that was more like a club house. It was attached to the ceiling, the only access was a rock wall, as well as another ladder. A blue slide came down the other side.

There was a window seat with pictures that you hadn't looked at yet, as well as a small rocking horse. Your kids would never want anything, that was for sure.

"What do you think?" Tony asked, gesturing around.

You just gaped, taking in everything. "I'm thinking, 'where was this when I was a kid'."

Tony chuckled.

You looked at the pictures by the window seat and started to laugh, "I love these!"

They were different superheroes with positive phrases on them. Although, it was a bit disconcerting to see a DC character among your Marvel husbands- and the kid of course. Not to mention an X-man.

"Although," You finally said, taking a look around the room, "There's no crib."

"Oh right." Tony said, leading you out of that room.

"There's another room?" You asked with surprise.

"Yep!" Tony said, "Don't worry though, this is the simple nursery."

He opened a door opposite the other two rooms and led you inside. True to his word, it was much simpler, and definitely more calming than the other rooms.

It was mostly white, though there was some black and light blues tossed in there. There was a love seat for you to sit on, lots of pillows, carpets, blankets, and rugs. There were quite a few stuffed animals everywhere as well, along with a few picture books.

It was a much smaller room, probably only a quarter of the boys room. It was divided into two half- rooms. One was obviously where you would play with the kids, and the other was where they would lay down to take a nap. There was also a light, wood changing table in the back corner, right near the black crib. There was a white fringe crib mobile above it. A rocking horse to the side.

"Oh Tony. . ." You mumbled, leaning into his side. "I love it. I love all of it. Thank you."

Tony kissed the side of your head, "I can't wait for the kids to come. I can't wait to have even more kids, although I am sorry that you're in pain so often."

You smiled as the two of you left the bedrooms. Stephen was walking down the hall, his hands in his jean pockets. "There you two are."

"Have you seen the bedrooms?" You asked in excitement.

Stephen smiled a little, "I have. Was he to overboard?"

"No, she wants one too." Tony said, winking at you.

You laughed, "I wouldn't have minded having either bedroom when I was growing up. They both seem so fun. Although I will want to keep an eye out on the kids when they move into the jungle room."

Tony nodded, "Don't worry, we can always alter it to make it safer till they're older."

Suddenly, you felt the slightest tickle of wetness sliding down your leg. You blinked.

'Did my water just break?'

You didn't voice it aloud, afraid that you might be wrong. It certainly wasn't how they described in the books with your water splashing to the floor, spraying everyone. It was just a trickle.

"I'll be right back." You said with a smile. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"Alright, do you want to come back to our room when you're done?" Stephen asked, wrapping his arms around Tony.

You smiled, "Naturally."

Tony smirked, nudging Stephen in the ribs before you waddled upstairs to your own room.

Though you rarely slept in here, there was a calm ambience to your room. It was a very simple room, not a lot of stuff as most of your things were scattered in the several other rooms you spent your time in.

You pulled your pants and knickers down in the bathroom, trying to see if there was any clear sign that your water had broken.

Unable to tell, you pulled out your phone, searching how you could figure it out.

Seeing a suggestion, you pulled on a pair of clean knickers and laid down on your bed, setting a timer for thirty minutes. However, you could literally feel the wetness pooling in your knickers and you didn't even need to wait thirty minutes before you knew- your water had broken.

A strange nervousness, yet excitement, seemed to build up in your core. You also felt strangely calm at the same time.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y." You said. "Can you please alert Nick, T'Challa, and Bucky that my water has broken?"

"Yes Miss Marvel." F.R.I.D.A.Y. replied.

You stayed laying there, in wait.

And then you heard a yell from downstairs that sounded like it was from Bucky.

[loki-wants-an-army]

spn and pjo might actually work as a crossover- a brief essay

Percy Jackson and Supernatural would actually make a decent crossover- both having that early 2000s, road trip Americana vibe mixed with myths and monsters of the week. Dean and Sam would freak the hell out. Percy and Annabeth would be sassy and suspicious as shit.

Annabeth wouldn't know about them, having spent most of her life on the run and then sequestered at camp, but it's entirely possible Percy or maybe even Grover might've seen Dean and Sam's mugshots somewhere or something. Percy can't be too quick to judge based on that alone considering his own dodgy record, but still it does warrant concern.

Imagine- from the Winchesters' end it sounds like there's weirdly consistent descriptions tied to rumors of kids disappearing or involved in almost inexplicable altercations. From the kids' perspective it's running into weird guys who seem to be a little too aware of the things most people ignore with the mist, while they're on an important quest away from camp.

They could bump into each other a few different times on the road before either one group finally decides to confront the other, or they end up in the same battle. Maybe the brothers save them in a fight, maybe it's the other way around and the kids (especially Annabeth) end up doing the rescuing instead. I don't know, it could be interesting and funny both ways. Let's just say they take turns.

Or alternatively, maybe the halfbloods just happen to pull up to some random town diner or motel, near flat broke and at least a little bloody, running from a monster the Winchesters also happen to be tracking, or vice-versa you could have the brothers arrive somewhere chasing a monster the kids happen to already be running from, and the conversation starts from there, with Sam leading with a few careful questions.

Naturally, when he realizes they're the direct target of the attacks and that it'll probably continue that way if not get worse, Dean frets over them even more, because he's a good guy like that, and then he accidentally ends up semi-adopting the gang, or at the very least reluctantly cross-country taxi driving this group of insanely powerful but scary young demigods (and a satyr)- who apparently have superpowers and their own magic weapons made of a special monster-killing celestial bronze- he should see about adding that to the arsenal- while Sam asks all kinds of questions about Greek monsters and the gods, updating and expanding on his notes, initial enthusiasm quickly tempered by increasing alarm.

They can also bond by angsting over shitty parents, hell knows Dean would immediately cave and take them all under his wing for that alone.

I think it could be an interesting parallel between the hunters and the hunted. Both tormented by monsters and unable/unwilling to give up the fight, and in Sam's case he could also relate to the whole "being haunted by visions" thing. I also imagine Percy and Annabeth's flaws of unwavering loyalty and pride respectively might make an interesting match with the themes of Supernatural. Plus I'm a sucker for found family tropes that follow their own unique dynamics and don't try to just mirror a weird, idealized, suburban nuclear family unit.

edit: Oh! Also Dean hates airplanes and Percy can't do flying because of the whole Zeus wanting to kill him thing

[grayson-baller]

could you do 6 on the kink list with Matt Jackson please?

Matt Jackson -- Headcanon

《 --- --- --- ☆ --- --- ---》

《 --- --- --- ☆ --- --- ---》

warnings: smut--18+

word count: 871

pairing: fem!reader & Matt Jackson

《 --- --- --- ☆ --- --- ---》

masterlist: ++

tags: @bungleinthe-jungle @legit9thlunaticwarrior @wickedval @cosmoholic13

want on my tag list? send me a message

《 --- --- --- ☆ --- --- ---》

kink:

6 - shower sex

《 --- --- --- ☆ --- --- ---》

Steam filled the hotel bathroom as the hot water sprayed down, soothing your aching muscles. You had been sore, hours of strenuous activity mixed with the various positions your body had been in over the weekend.

When your husband told you that you were going on a beach vacation, you expected to spend some time by the water, and do some sight-seeing. So far, you had barely left your hotel room.

Not that you were complaining. Beaches were crowded, sand got everywhere. You had the man you loved naked almost all the time, in bed with you. Hours of sex were followed by laughter, snacking on food ordered from room service, before snuggling in bed and watching bad movies on cable.

It was relaxing—like vacation was supposed to be. Nights felt so starry here with him. Everything was brighter. You realized how much you liked being away with him, not thinking about work. You two never had a chance to get away before. Your honeymoon had been driving an hour away to a nice hotel on a Saturday night. By Monday, you both were back on the road.

It was okay—because this was your dream. You two had been over this shared dream, and it connected you over the years. You bonded over your dreams, and the sacrifices it took to achieve them. You understood the cost, just as he did. If anything, sharing this with him had helped make your relationship stronger.

From the start, Matt got it. The night you met him was your first night back in nine months. Your surgically repaired knee was braced, nerves settling in your stomach. Despite being a stranger, Matt had offered you a pep-talk. It had been enough to calm you, allowing you to step through the curtains, walking down to the ramp.

You won that night. Hearing the cheers from the crowd as your arm was raised was an amazing feeling. You had rushed to the back, looking for him. You’d never forget the bright smile on his face as he congratulated you, making you feel more badass then you probably were.

You left the arena with his number in your phone and plans to grab dinner together the following night.

“Mmm,” his low voice mused as you ran your hand over the glass of the shower to clear away some of the fog. “Wondered where you snuck off to this morning.” His voice mixed with sleepiness, the low tone settling between your wet thighs, a new kind of wetness forming.

He was naked, and through the shower door you could clearly see how hard he was. You instantly licked your lips at the sight. He instantly caught your glaze, chuckle leaving him.

“Are you hungry for a taste, petal?” Matt questioned, hand grabbing his cock. “Filthy girl, ain’t you? My filthy little wife spent all last night with her walls stretching around my cock until I filled your pink pussy full of my cum—so fucking full that it dripped down your legs. Doesn’t matter though, huh? You want more.”

You bit down on your lip, nodding slowly. Your hand was pressed against the glass, moments away from flinging open the door.

“Yeah, I thought so. You love my cock.” He gave himself a few lazy strokes, strained groan leaving him. You whimpered at the sound, wanting to be the one he was groaning for. You wanted to be the one bringing him pleasure. “My filthy girl loves my cock. Love having your hands wrapped around it. Love it when it’s stretching that perfect pussy of yours, huh.”

He chuckled, giving himself another stroke. Your hands ran over your body, slipping between your legs as you circled your clit with your thumb.

“Hell, you even love it when my cock is stretching your ass.” He took a step towards the shower, opening it up. He stepped inside, instantly grabbing you as he backed against the wall. He leaned down, brushing his lips against yours. “I know you, petal. You also love my cock in pretty mouth of yours, huh? Bet your drooling for a taste right now.”

Fuck. He was right about that. He knew you—inside and out. The good, the bad, the ugly. You were an open book for him, with no secrets between you. Not that you were complaining, you knew him too.

You leaned down, ready to get down on your knees for a taste. He grabbed you, shaking his head as he pressed you back against the wall.

“I know you want a taste, petal, but I’m not quite sure I want to give you what you want.” He chuckled, reaching between your legs to swat your hand away. He swiped through your folds, gathering wetness on your fingers.

He brought his hand to his lips, licking your slick off his fingers. “So fucking good, baby.” He praised, leaning forward to kiss you. “I’m feeling awfully greedy, petal.” He lowered himself to his knees, pressing a kiss to your hip. He parted your folds, tongue finding your clit.

You moaned, head tilting against the wall of the shower.

“Brace yourself, petal. I’m feeling awfully hungry and not stopping until I’ve had my full.”

[fkmarrycill]

Touch Me, Tease Me Collection, Part 1

911 words

Smutty vibes 🔞

Yes, I named this after a 90s R&B song. 🤭🤭🤭 It's Jackson Rippner, getting a little spicy TLC from his dominatrix girlfriend. I plan to write more of them–I see it as a collection of one shots of them, a loving couple with unusual careers. I love the idea of our man Jackson being vulnerable in this way.

Thanks for reading! ❤️

At last, I felt the tension begin to leave his body, as my deep kiss made his self-control slowly melt away. My full lips, pressed against his full ones, nuzzling their softness, teasing before they gave way to my tongue cleaving his mouth open. He gasped as I grasped his face strongly. I explored the warm cavern of his mouth, dueled his tongue for supremacy and, triumphant, sucked gently on the acquiescing muscle. The groan that began deep in his throat wanted to escape and fill the room, but I continued to silence him, with one soul-scorching kiss after another.

I straddled him while he reclined on the curved sex chaise that was covered in red PVC, and I could feel him hardening rapidly underneath me. I chuckled into his mouth while I continued to kiss him. He was right where I wanted him: arms over his head, wrists in tied in soft rope, legs similarly bound. He was excited, eager to have his latest fantasy come to life. All I knew was that I'd have a wicked good time with him, same as always.

I knew when I first saw him that he was trouble, but not in the way he usually inflicted chaos on the world. Yes, he was a merciless assassin, but to me, he was trouble in the sense of his energy: powerful, mysterious, barely contained. Primal, like a tiger hunting its prey and biding its time.

I'd met him at a friend's party. He'd tried to woo me with a sweet, charming veneer at first, but he soon revealed his true self after I mentioned I'd heard of his work. I told him I was glad he'd stopped pretending with me, that someone with my unique skill set would never fall for his meet-cute gambit, because his presence alone spoke volumes about who he really was.

He wanted to be a client, but I never mixed business with pleasure. I told him that. Exactly like that. And then I whispered in his ear what I had in mind for us. The lust that crawled across his face, narrowing his eyes and turning his lips up into a grin, let me know he didn't mind one bit.

What I didn't tell him was that he made me a little uneasy when we first met, with those intense blue eyes set deep into the contours of his preternaturally beautiful face–his beauty being much more disarming than his resume to me. But now, we were inseparable: lovers living together, doing the things that all lovers do, but also terrorizing the world with our unique sets of skills.

He came home with a toy, one that I could use to drag him to that line between extreme pleasure and temporary insanity that he loved so well. It was a basic prop that could be obtained from any mildly titillating sex shop, but he'd never expressed interest in one before. He was always in control for his job, but lucky for both of us, he liked to play much, much harder than he worked, and he was open to trying anything once. I took today's request as a deeper level of trust that had developed between us, boyfriend and girlfriend, sub and mistress. I looked forward to the vulnerability he would share, only with me.

"Ready to start the scene?" I said, breaking the kiss.

"Yes,” he intoned.

“Same rules as usual, same safe word.”

“Make it good, Mistress," he said, looking up at me with his cold, seductive eyes and his usual smirk. His mouth was closed, but his flared nostrils and chest rising and falling let me know that he would've been gasping for breath if his pride wasn't so strong.

He was my lovely brat, easily the most beautiful man I'd ever laid my eyes on. I let him get away with much more talk than my clients when we were in a scene; partly because of our bond, but also because of that cold-blooded reputation. I liked to get as close to that line of danger and excitement as possible for myself, just as much as my clients and my lovers did, which is why my schedule was filled with the scariest of killers and thugs. But I always knew not to push so far that they wanted to break character–and break my bones.

I gave him one last kiss. We both smiled at each other, and while our eyes locked in a gaze of mutual admiration, my right hand grasped the gag on the side table.

Soon, everything was in place. I stifled a moan as I took a look at him: his mouth parted and his full lips comfortably cradling the red silicone ball, while the leather straps hugged his face and drew even more attention to his prominent cheekbones. The pale, naked skin of his body flushed as he waited for me to do my worst.

His wide, cyan eyes were starting to glaze over, occasionally hidden by the fan of his eyelashes every time he blinked. His dark hair had been perfectly styled, but now shaggy bangs almost covered those eyes, thanks to his arching and squirming. He'd come undone a bit already, yes, but he and I both knew it was only the beginning. I'd savor every scandalous thing I'd do along the way to give him release with an edge.

[beezonia]

I’m in my ever after x twisted wonderland x monster high vibes again

I’m gonna spam and I’m not sorry!!!

Have some head cannons and I guess this is part one until I get time to write this fully and flesh the ideas out

———

Melody and Riddle do not get along at first, with melody’s music and riddles strictness they just don’t mesh well

Vill and Operetta both bond over their shared love off theatre, they tend to have jam sessions where they just sing their favourite songs

Jack, Leona, Cerise and Ramona become like siblings they are always fucking bickering especially Leona and Ramona

Maddie and ace are absolutely nuts together, they get up to all sorts of shit so beware of them

Malleus and Rochelle bond over their love for gargoyles and architecture they become quite close and Rochelle makes sure to invite Mal everywhere

Sebek and Duchess are a force to be reckoned with when they are together

Pls they will shout the house down and not care

Clawdeen gets put in Pomefiore and she gets so much inspiration from the students and their different styles

Draculara and sliver bond even if they have slightly opposing personalities.

Howleen and epel are force’s to be reckoned with especially with their teenage rebellion phases

Ginger and trey are absolutely best friends, they bake together, they visit cafes together. THEY ARE GLUED TO THE HIP

Frankie and MC bond over being accidental protagonists

Cleo and vill are like frenemies they love to compare jewellery though

iida and melody end up making like a mixtape together at some point

Crowley makes sure to get melody to DJ at any big party nrc has

Bunny and cater become fast friends, he helps bunny with her anxiety

Azul and meeshel slowly learn to trust each other and become good friends

Operetta plays music specifically on a Tuesday afternoon at the monstro lounge

Floyd becomes very interested in venus to him she’s like a very beautiful sea plant

Iida meets robecca and is extremely intrigued by how she functions so it ends up with him asking her a bunch of questions and one is if he could meet her father

Raven and jamil get along quite well and just end up ranting to each other sometimes

Kalim and Blondie are the ultimate party animals especially if briar is there as well

Lilia and faybelle have this sort of familial connection due to her being able to sense extremely strong fae

He takes her under his wing (her and sebek argue a hell of a lot but it’s okay)

Cupid is sort of a mix of happy and scared, her friends from both schools are seeing both her sides

She and cater start up a podcast thing (pretty much like the one in why do ghouls fall in love)

Cupid and rook are an especially odd pair, he flirts and she does not like how cheap he sounds

Briar finally gets the courage to tell apple exactly how she feels with the Diasomnia gang backing her up

She actually starts hanging around a lot more with cerise and lizzie

Lizzie and riddle get along like a house on fire

It’s a lot of “off with your head”

Alistair meets with bunny, elissabat and jade every now and again to discuss the literature of their worlds

Ashlynn and Hunter are a lot more open with their relationship in twisted wonderland

The light music club becomes extremely more chaotic when jackson, operetta and Raven join

They hold concerts every two weeks on the Thursday

Blondie vlogs her experience

Ginger gets inspiration for new recipes

Briar throws the coolest parties with MC’s and Divius’s help

Kitty and Chenya are long lost siblings?!

Raven slowly heals with the help of trein who becomes like a parent to her

Robecca makes some cool new stuff for herself and ortho

Melody gets to make new tunes that don’t have to be a specific sound

Clawdeen and divius are the event stylists

He even asks her to collaborate with him for his next collection

Frankie learns even more new things

Whisp is here to cause trouble along with valentine

Gigi ends up becoming close friends with jamil and kalim

Jillian shows of her climbing skills and everyone is like we need her on the team

Cerise gets to join the track team without being scared of her heritage

Overall most of the kids get to heal and have a normal teenage life (except for the overblots and what not)

[chromochaotic]

Reads of 2023 (so far)

I had fun doing my little write ups for the books I read in 2022 so I thought I'd do one for '23! update as of 4/19!

thoughts:

Book of Night

I got this book as a gift from a friend who I think really wanted someone else to talk about it with... 😂 So it was a very fun read! I've heard mixed things about this author, haha, but I do agree that she's SO GOOD at setting a scene—the same friend called her "the queen of ambiance." I think that extends to getting into her characters' heads, too, like she makes the psychology behind the characters' actions another very interesting part of the story.

I think I, personally, found the constant bad fortune raining down on the main character a little overwhelming. It does help emphasize what a survivor Charlie is, but it's interesting comparing it to something like Ninth House, where the MC is both a survivor but also someone who can put her trust in others & has moments of friendship, bonding, and protection to offset some of the doom and gloom.

Still, I was really into the emotional beats of the story... Holly Black had a few lines about longing for someone who's in front of you as if they're already gone that, like, oof. The characters really do shine in their moments (I esp. loved Balthazar and Odette, haha). Plus the prestige reveals of some of the cons that Charlie pulled off? Chef's kiss. (retroactively rating this based solely on my personal enjoyment: 3.5/5)

Ninth House

I already know I love this author's recent stuff, so it was exciting seeing how she handled a more modern setting and tone! One thing I appreciated was how she tackled themes on privilege in a way that felt more nuanced—like, the way magic in this world is just another form of power over others really came across, from a lot of different angles.

There were a few parts where it felt like the author (and editor) knew the setting and world so well, that they might have forgotten the reader is coming into this completely blind, and some of the logical leaps in mystery-solving feel sort of abrupt, haha. (Spoilers) I was also a little disappointed that the "big" mystery and "little" mystery of the story were only like, tangentially related?

But honestly, this world-building was a treat. I actively wanted to be where the characters were, exploring weird rituals and old libraries with them. I think having a main character who's an outsider the way Alex is, makes the dark academia more accessible—I would have been pretty uncomfortable if the story started out from Darlington's perspective right at the start. Also, like I said before, I appreciated the bonds that are featured in this story—Alex's scenes with Mercy and Dawes were maybe my favorite parts to read. (4/5)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Sea of Monsters

Still working my way through these via B&N audio book credits! My thoughts are pretty much the same as the first book—cute story, lots of fun antics and adaptations of old myths for a younger crowd.

Not too much to complain about with this story, since it does what it sets out to do. I guess, there are some parts that didn't age great... There's a character who starts the story homeless and there's one tiny line about that being "good" for him, but that's me like digging for issues.

I will say, I liked how this book added some depth that we didn't get in book 1, with the idea of Hermes wanting to redeem his kid, and Clarisse getting a moment to shine. I'm probably overly-biased toward liking Clarisse, but, let her have her own book! Let her be the key to the whole story! It's what she deserves.

Working my way through Ninth House book 2 right now, and then I think the next TLT book, and maybe a lighter art book somewhere in between. 😅 Done w/ Hellbent & did two art books, one of which was especially short! lmao (3/5)

Hell Bent

On the plus side, this sequel felt like it didn't have to spend as much time on setup as the first book, and got to just dive into the juicy cliffhanger from Ninth House. The strong points are just like before—the captivating setting and shifting relationships between the characters.

Like with the first one, something about the pacing felt rushed now and then. Maybe I've forgotten how action-packed college was! I was also thinking about how like, even though I'm enjoying these stories, the cast of characters won't stick with me quite like the gang from SoC did. That's probably just an effect of SoC being a much more ensemble-based story, while Alex has to "carry" a lot more of this on her own...

So a lot rides on Alex as a character, I guess, and... it's hard to pin down if I like her, honestly! I definitely sympathize with her, and appreciate how the author explores questions around justice and... power dynamics (?) through her. I ATE UP the backstory we got of Dawes, Turner, and Tripp, though—would've loved even more of them getting to shine, instead of it seeming like they were sort of useless. Ohh, the last thing I'll say is, the imagery set up right at the end, between Alex and Darlington? MMMMM chef's KISS (3.5/5)

Chris Schweizer's Drawings & Other Art 2017 - 2021

I'm trying to piece together my thoughts on this art book, other than being intimidated out of my mind by this guy's life and knowledge and skill. Haha. I bought this last year at Dragon Con; I always like seeing what this artist has at his booth, and really love his sense of design. It was cool trying to pick out patterns in how he handles different things, like textures and facial features.

All this book was meant to be was a collection of art... But I would be super interested in something that was more of a deep-dive on a single piece he did, like seeing what references he uses, maybe notes on how he chooses what to simplify and what to render in detail. I guess that's probably on his socials...?

Anyway, I want to like, shrivel up and die with envy over every technique he's honed to perfection, but like... really I just gotta get back into practice! (he's also apparently a huge history buff, and great musician, and I'm just like........... how...... but maybe I could be that way in a decade or two, who knows) (4/5)

Naomi Vandoren's Light through the Pages

Another art book from dragon con! This one was shorter than Chris', but still a nice read. Naomi's work and little write-ups are very soothing to just page through. Since this was the 2020-based collection of art (I also bought the one for 2021, which I'll probably read soon...), it was interesting to read the page about staying inspired in the midst of the ol' Panny Devito.

Again, this book was just meant to be a selection of pieces, and did its job... I'd always like more process exploration, though, haha—I was sort of surprised at how much of this book was just finished pieces. It also kind of felt a little too advertise-y to me.

In any case, love this artist's work, especially her color palettes and way of doing backgrounds/landscapes. Oh, to have the patience to do watercolors... (3/5)

Nona the Ninth

Back at it again with the most heart-breakingly romantic necromancers alive (and dead). I think what I love most about this series and this particular installment is how well it captures that haunting, ephemeral feeling of old, old tragedies and ancient, powerful beings that are still human. I keep thinking of the moment Nona is so gratefully happy to be alive because of the magnanimous love she has for her family, while hunched in the ruins of a decaying city on a polluted, arid planet... and the slow horror of reading the John chapters.

I think my toothpick-sized bone to pick with the series is still the show-don't-tell balance—I heard NtN's simplicity (in the beginning) was possibly due to feedback that the first 2 installments were too hard to follow. I almost ended up thinking this veered too much in the other direction, until the last few chapters hit and everything goes off the rails again. I don't know, they're wild books, and in the end I've enjoyed that aspect of them... plus, there's such a perfect curl of dread whenever you spot an offhand detail that doesn't sit quite right so now you have to Think About it. But also, I'm So Tired All The Time, and when I finally have time to read, I know I'm missing things but just don't have the energy to go back and forth checking details and looking up meta analysis. There's something to be said for books that you don't have to be experienced with graduate level research to enjoy, haha.

Still, these are for sure going to end up being some of my favorite reads. I was wrong before, what I actually love most about the series are the characters. Nona is so right for finding every little mannerism of her friends endearing—I love every little no-nonsense bit of affection from Camilla and humble, brilliant quip from Palamedes, and freaky twin love hate Thing between Corona and Ianthe, and Gideon, Gideon with the "get in line, thou big slut." Queen. King. Perfection. Adoration. I'm a Gideon apologist I guess, oops. (5/5)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Titan's Curse

lmao after that long review... Another PJO down! The cross-country/sea travel in each of these is a delight, I'm glad that's stayed consistent. I've actually been to some of the places in this one, like the Smithsonian and Hoover Dam, although we didn't do the whole tour there and now I want to.

My only baby complaint this time is I feel like Dionysus gets done so dirty... It's a creative take, I guess, compared to the more recent trend of making him Chaotic Good Wine Uncle, but stillllllll. On the upside, Apollo in this book? I yelled at his "wait I feel a haiku coming on". King.

I'm kind of excited to see where the author goes with whether or not Percy will be able to forgive/empathize with Luke in the end. The author's done a good job making Percy just a good ol all-american teenage boy, and the jealousy he feels when it comes to Annabeth and Luke, in a normal rom-com, seems like it would just result in some epic feel-good victory for Percy... I'm hoping things go a little differently with this. Also, I was a sucker for the bit with Zoe and the constellation. (3/5)

McMullen Circle

Picked up this book from one of those "blind date with a book" shelves at a cute store in Asheville. The blurb described it as a collection of short stories, set in the late 60s, and "boarding school in the North Georgia Mountains", and I was sold. It turned out a little different than expected... I enjoyed the nature-focused writing, which was very serene and bittersweet. The variety of stories and straightforward way they handle each character's flaws was also refreshing, in a way. There're no perfect characters in this, but that's kind of the point.

I was a little disappointed the collection wasn't the romantic little mix of Appalachia and Dark Academia I was hoping for, but that's more the blind-date-blurb's fault. The only other thing that kind of skeeved me out was that sexuality only got portrayed negatively, and that happens right out of the gate in the first short story, but it only comes up briefly after that.

My favorite piece was "Twilight Song"—literally broke into tears at the final few lines. It's about an elderly lesbian couple caring for each other in their old age, and how they got through dark times to have a sweet life together. A few stories touch on other hardships, like poverty, PTSD, and racism, and always handle it in a way that feels pretty sensitive. (4/5)

Taking a break for work and fanfic for a bit now, I think.

Manywhere

Trying to come up with a good Positive-Negative-Positive sandwich... except I didn't particularly like this one. It was another short story collection, and it focused on queer characters generally in the US south, but only the first one really compelled me thematically. It examined the relationship between presentation and privacy and packed a lot dynamism in that short format.

Most of the stories just felt repetitive, though, even with all the variety in setting and character—like generally dour, mean-spirited takes on people's character, and I probably sound naive in that, but hey this is my review and I am quite unfortunately an optimist at heart. I'm not one to dismiss unpleasant stories outright, but so many of the chapters seemed to make pain and regret and rejection the whole point.

Thinking about it a little more, I guess it could lead to some interesting discussion of the desperation for acceptance that comes with being queer in the communities the book focused on. And I'll give it to the author, again, for including some well-researched, incredible variety in terms of characters and setting. Gave this book away to a friend who might have more skill at parsing meaning from it, and we'll see if that leads to a change of heart on my side. (2/5)

American Born Chinese

I first read this when I bought it back in... high school? This impulse re-read happened after seeing the trailer for a show coming out based on the story (and also, right after the EEAAO Oscars sweep). I've aged out of the target audience, haha, but I still like the balance the author strikes between complex storytelling/themes, and an appealing simplicity.

It'll be interesting to see how the story is adapted... Some of the stereotypes the book tackles were so intentionally offensive, I could totally see the satire being misunderstood if it's not handled carefully.

Anyway, nothing bad to say about this one! Like the other YA stuff I'm reading, it's stood the test of time for a reason. Plus, you can tell how personal this story is to the author, and it means a lot that he's shared it with the world in this way. (4/5, but just bc the YA simplicity keeps it from 5/5)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Battle of the Labyrinth

Still chugging through these... Same pros and cons as before! I do feel like, as the tone gets darker with each of these, the quirky modern twists (Dedalus using a laptop! Sphinxes giving standardized tests!) make the serious moments a little too stark, haha. Like, geez, the stuff with Pan was... sure something.

This book did some odd stuff with the romance plot(s)... It felt to me like Annabeth was done dirty for the sake of keeping Percy/the character dynamics clean. Nothing worse than other YA stories from this time, but, maybe typical of it. Also, while all the PJO books break that Pixar rule of "coincidence can get you into trouble but not out of it" (and again, for this genre it's fine), this installment felt like the worst culprit of it so far.

I did enjoy keeping tabs on my fav characters, though. I've ofc added Nico to my roster of poor little meow meow boys, balancing out Clarisse being added to my Angry Power Fantasy Daughters, and each of them got scenes I really enjoyed this time around. Also, props to these stories for pulling out mythical monsters that seem like very deep cuts—the series started with references I mostly caught, like harpies and the fates, but now we're getting to telekhinese (???) and empusai...?? Hell yeah! (3/5)

Anyway. Thought it'd be fun to note, too, that I caught up on The Lackadaisy Cats comic at this point, which has been a delight. Very tempted to buy some sort of art book or patreon tier, bc that style is to die for.

continued in a part 2 post... to be linked?

[smol-yet-stupid]

I came up with another OC for Ever After High, the daughter of Captain EO! I know he's not really a fairy tale but it's still pretty good (because Michael Jackson, of course 😊) Michael was so precious and sweet, and this OC will be sort of like a tribute to him. Her name is Eefa Oktox. She is a RoyBel because she loves her father very much, and loves going on space missions, or other missions around Ever After High, and usually hangs out with Rebels (or royals, regardless). When she first arrives, she feels insecure because she believes that people would judge her and find her strange because she is possibly (Depending on where Captain EO really did come from) from an alien world, and Captain EO is quite alien-like. But she forms a friendship with Cerise Hood, and they bond over similar issues regarding her wolf secret. Then, after more people find her alien heritage and her father cool and interesting, she chooses her Ever After not to be afraid of being alien-like, and instead embrace that part of her.

~Eefa Oktox~

~Daughter of Captain EO~

Parents' story: Captain EO

Age: 15

Height: 5'7

Weight: 100lbs

Birthday: August 29th (Michael Jackson's birthday)

Star sign: Virgo

Roommates: Nina Thumbell and Jillian Beanstalk.

Pet: A baby Elephant like Hooter, named Astro

Favorite food: I have a habit of making weird food combinations, but I have to say magic stars. They feel very homey to me.

Quote: "Stop spacing out!"

"Magic" touch: Like Melody, I can make people dance, but instead I turn them into backup dancers. I definitely inherited that from my father!

Storybook romance status: Not specified yet, but if I was to pick someone to spend forever after with, it would probably be Melody Piper. She knows how to mix things up! Or Cerise Hood, since she's the one that helped me a lot regarding my alienness, and she understands that too. She gave me someone to relate to.

"Oh, curses", moment: I embarrassed myself when Commander Bogg just showed up at Ever After High out of the blue to check on me. He even said I was so much like my dad, which I take as a compliment, I guess.

Secret hearts' desire: The reason Commander Bogg transferred me here was because my father went MIA, so no one was looking after me. I gave myself a mission to find him safe and reconnect with him. And hopefully he will get to see Ever After High too! He'd be perfect as a dance or muse-ic teacher. Don't get me wrong, I still think Professor Piper is really nice. But I really don't think Madame Yaga would be suited to teach dance! I bet everyone would love my father, and I don't blame them.

Favorite class: Dance class. Although Duchess is reeeeeally irritating and snobby! Although maybe there's a reason why she's like that... I mean, having to stay as a swan forever after and watching as the love of your life falls in love with someone else? I also love muse-ic too. Melody, Raven and I love to work together. And I can definitely tolerate Sparrow.

Least favourite class: Crownculus. It's just as complicated as its IRL counterpart! Princessology too, as I'm not exactly the Princess type. And Home Evilnomics and History of evil spells. (I actually dropped those two classes the minute I saw them in my schedule. Too evil for me!) I don't want to hurt people, I just want to change the world!

BFFA: Melody Piper. We always love to jam out! Raven Queen too, we always let her join in. Also my roommates, Nina and Jillian both share a sense of adventure that I can definitely get behind! And who could forget Cerise Hood? She definitely helped me feel welcome at Ever After High and we can both open up to each other. And Maddie. Just Maddie in general. It's no Wonderland everyone loves her!

[mrsfezziwig]

Private Grief / Public Sorrow

"What price is fame?"

I don't remember the first time I heard the quote above but it has stuck with me for a long time. I remember thinking it in 1997, the day Princess Diana died, and it's possible that is where I first encountered the phrase. Since that time I have had it pop into my head every time I hear of yet another celebrity death, no matter the cause.

Rarely does a celebrity death make me even blink, I know I didn't cry or feel anything particular of note when I heard Michael Jackson or David Bowie or even Queen Elizabeth died, in fact only twice have I been deeply impacted by the death of the famous to a degree I still feel the pain. Heath Ledger was the first, and now, in the past few weeks, Moon Bin of kpop group Astro. Neither were people I looked up to or admired in more than a casual, everyday sense; they were talented young men who could have been legendary, and I would have definitely been shocked to meet them in the street. In both cases they were young men in their prime and the outpouring of grief for them is comparable, yet the difference between East and West is palpable when it comes to the public being informed as to how they left the planet.

As soon as Heath Ledger's autopsy report was completed, easily within mere minutes of the doctor signing the forms to make it official, the world had the answer to the question of how and why: accidental polypharmacy overdose because he got confused after mixing over the counter cold remedies and prescription medication, ending up overdosing unintentionally. It was a relief, the rumours it was suicide or he was an addict were quashed and people could grieve him properly. Yet in the case of Moon Bin we don't know how he died over and above two vague possible theories: natural causes because he was known to have chronic health issues, or suicide as stated in the only official statement given by police.

Why am I here writing this? Because I have cried many tears for Moon Bin. I was not an Aroha, I knew him from being a fan of Stray Kids and watching him perform with the latter's member Lee Know. The news reached me when I refreshed my YouTube recommended page, his picture prominent at the top with the headline announcing his passing. Quickly hopping over to the BBC news app for confirmation I felt sick to see it was true, and that is where I read the police statement calling it an apparent suicide. My mind went haywire and flashed up the famous images of Jonghyun of Shinee in his memorial photograph, swiftly followed by Sulli's and Goo Hara's. I burst into tears.

Being theoretically old enough to be Moon Bin's mother, the maternal side I have developed over my late thirties cried out. Surprisingly, however, I wasn't crying out for the family alone, but more so for the fans. The kpop culture can be uncomfortable looking in from the outside, I definitely feel in some ways it's all a bit too 'cult-y', especially when it comes to the closeness of idols and their fandom. We are made to feel like we are their family too, which is why there is so much grief when an idol dies unexpectedly. The first people they thank after winning an award is the fans, and on survival shows like I-land, all the successful applications promised to show a better performance for their fans before the show even ended and they debuted. Yeah, that latter one makes me cringe somewhat.

But it was this unnatural, almost co-dependent para-social bond that made me sad for Arohas and those who were Moon Bin's solo 'stans' (add it the list... that's also rather yucky to me; I would rather not be described like a crazed stalker-murderer because I am a fan of something), that I was sad for. Because when those bonds are broken so rapidly it's natural to want to be involved in the story of the idol's death, not as a distant homogeneous mass of atoms but as someone who shared their daily life. And because of the way the laws are, rightly in the vast, vast majority of cases, this can only occur if the immediate family agree, and almost every time, they don't. Those thousands the idol invited into their lives now have to accept they are no longer of any worth, they simply no longer matter because the person they supported is dead.

Bang.

The metal door that was open and allowed them in to the idol's world is slammed shut, sealed tightly, welded closed, sound-proof... The fan usefulness has passed away with the man they felt was a stand-in boyfriend or, in a more palatable way, a brother or friend. No real chance to wave goodbye and mourn is the consequence of that twisted relationship an idol and fans have, which is why I felt so bad for them, wanting to give them hugs in silence as no words can soothe a soul with questions that can't be answered.

For context and in the spirit of honesty, I didn't get into kpop until 2021, only to find myself feeling a little stunned because my journey on the kpop train failed to stop for anyone. It barrelled into my life via the famous clip of Han from Stray Kids forgetting he was meant to join the others on stage for the Yayaya choreo, and I finally found people who were as kooky and off the wall as me. Then I began to discover the darkest shades of the industry. Knowing so many gifted young people had committed suicide was soul crushing, so then began a journey into the social pressures of Korean culture and it's shockingly high rates of suicide in people under 30. That means I wasn't a fan when any of the three people mentioned above departed life, although I read the articles and watched videos talking about them.

At this time I also found out about a young man named Yohan, who was a member of TST and who passed away in 2020. His family haven't released a cause of death, which honestly shocked me because it was so normal to me to know this information. Of course it is up to the family to decide, so I put it down and left it alone and went about my life no worse off. Seemingly, anyway, because his name would pop into my head every once in a while as I wondered why there were no answers.

This is where the situation gets philosophical. When Moon Bin died in April, the police made one ambiguous statement and then the family said nothing more, and in some way that feels... wrong. Yes, I get that there is some shame in suicide for too many, as if it was an admission you didn't care enough for your relative or else you would have seen it coming, but it's just... when someone chooses to live in public, when they choose to share their talent with the world, they take on a whole additional family; there will be people who look up to them, who find comfort in their music or performances or crazy chaotic moments on variety shows. Because of the focus on fans and how they wouldn't be idols without us, plus putting almost everything about themselves out into the world it feels a little disrespectful to be shut out like we, no matter how many groups or soloists we enjoy, no longer deserve answers, which I find immensely hypocritical. Idols themselves know without the wider public seeing them, there is no celebrity and they would not be fulfilling dreams held since childhood.

Why does that stop at death? If these people spend up to 20 hours a day filming their lives for content to share with fans, to not be told what happened to them is cruel. The reason the most high profile suicides of idols are the ones we think of with a levelheaded manner is that the idols left notes, they made it clear that they wanted us to know. They respected their fans even at the end. It will never be closure for the circle of people who were related to them or their friends, no such thing exists for them.

No one is asking the question of why the fans can be ignored like we are for fear of being seen as inappropriate, for 'pressuring' a grieving family for answers when they need time to mourn their son. But according to his family themselves, as well as those around him daily, Moon Bin loved his fans above all else, they were why he kept going even after major health problems back in 2019 as well as what the Daily Mail calls 'a lifelong struggle with anxiety'. If he himself loved his fans so much, would he want his cause of death hidden? Is it the lack of a note that is preventing the family from allowing the very basic question of 'suicide or not' to be answered? And how do you grieve when you just don't know what kind of grieving you should do?

Morality is a finicky issue that is rarely dichotomous. For example, we've been asked not to spread false rumours and reports, which is kind of hard when the truth isn't out there to prevent it. Human beings are inquisitive, it's how we've been able to become the supreme predator on this planet and create technology that just a few hundred years ago would be called witchcraft, but that drive for answers in the modern age also means gossip. And as insensitive as I am about to sound, Moon Bin's family, friends, acquaintances and colleagues will have gossiped about a celebrity death at some point, that's human nature, until it happens to you, apparently. People around the world are practically copy-pasting the words 'out of respect for the family please stop speculating' whilst hypocritically wanting to know themselves too. Simply put, the effects of being famous and putting so much of yourself out there doesn't stop when the family wants it to. For years and years this young man had the choice to quit the idol lifestyle and didn't because he loved his fans so much and honestly, I think those people who bought his albums, watched his TV appearances, purchased tickets to shows and began using skincare products he advertised put the money in his pocket that will now pass to his family and they deserve to be told the truth. You may not want to be famous but your son and daughter both are... which kinda suggests you approved of their choices, and there will be no peace for your child unless you tell people how he died.

So, unfiltered, I am going to speculate. I believe Moon Bin killed himself, that he may not have planned it out and left a note but he broke suddenly, unlike Jonghyun who tried to get attention ahead of going on with his plan by revving his car engine and burning his tires out in the car park of his apartment building only for no one to react. I believe Moon Bin walked into his home not thinking 'I am going to kill myself,' rather that his intrusive thoughts took over and he couldn't stop himself. I believe the toxic way idols who date are treated if they do - provided there were no contractual rules about the same, which are even more disgusting, by the way - meant he got home from his show abroad, was already fragile as demonstrated in his final live stream minutes before he passed away and the emptiness of having no one to come home to made him snap. Would it be better if he died of health complications? Yes it would, because the fans knew he was ill, and the pressure placed on him by the agency wouldn't have helped, there is something to blame in that scenario. As it is, we are beating ourselves up for 'failing to protect another idol' because as of now the only kind of indication we have is that short statement of 'suspected suicide'. We are grieving too, and the family has a duty to accept that we need to know the truth to move on. They will never be able to forget him, but they know how he passed and it will allow them to scar over the wound eventually, whilst we are left with a weeping sore to match our eyes as there is no answer.

Maybe it's time people consider this before putting themselves out as celebrities and they should leave clear instructions in the event of their passing regarding what they want the public to know. Had Moon Bin left instructions that he didn't want us to know beforehand, I could accept that as my closure; if that's what he wanted then I know it's a choice he made. Instead we are left feeling terrified about losing another idol and having no answers then, either. I know I've been deeply scared that Bang Chan or Hyunjin might be on the edge at times, I mean Chan couldn't eat for three days and they both get terrible hate online.

Every night I ask the universe to protect everyone in the industry, it's a habit I've developed after sitting on the wheelchair ramp outside my house as I waited for the first star to appear on the 19th April and it's one I have found myself emulating even when there is cloud cover. Let these people be people, to date and have lives that fulfill them so the likelihood of these events are minimised. Maybe it is time for that somewhat disturbing relationship of being 'best-friends' with fans and always putting them ahead of interpersonal relationships with the real world around them to be diluted down, to take the creepy out of the pasta a bit.

Dedicated to the memory of Moon Bin, who left the world on the 19th April 2023. I hope you are having a wonderful time singing and dancing for the fun of it and playing with the animals in Paradise Park. Be free, young man, be free.

[dreamgirledward]

hey! if you're looking for a sign NOT to watch the rings of power, this can be it if you want 🥰 film-lover's psa incoming:

(this was originally a drop-down message on my the beauty of: lotr amv, which i deleted and copied here instead!)

lotr was created out of earnest love for the source material and the magic of filmmaking. the films took a total of 8 years to produce, including pick-up shots. they shot all three films continuously, well over a year, because peter jackson knew exactly what his vision would entail. the fellowship cast got matching tattoos after the experience because of how bonded they were by the end of production (john rhys-davies was the only one not to get one bc he said his stunt double, who does have a matching tattoo, did most of the hard work for him! ha!). the films put new zealand on the map and jackson opened the door for kiwi filmmakers of his generation and beyond in a way the world had never seen before. fun fact! the films also employed a huge number of Māori actors and you can actually hear and watch them doing the haka during specific battle scenes.

lotr is the perfect marriage of both 20th and 21st century filmmaking, expertly utilizing award winning practical and special effects mixed with cgi to create something wholly unique and almost timeless. compared to the two towers and return of the king being colour graded digitally, fellowship was still physically graded via colour timing (colourizing film in a lab, traditionally how all colour films were developed before the digital age), a prime example of just how new digital colour grading was in the industry. gollum was also a big first for the film industry: andy serkis shot his scenes in a motion capture suit (opposite elijah wood and sean astin), and the level of work weta digital put in to bring gollum to life resulting in such a sheer level realism was unprecedented. gollum still stands the test of time today and has aged incredibly well. the ai software, massive, was also developed for the first time for lotr to create large crowds and armies via visual effects, and changed the visual effects and 3d animation game forever. every single (computer generated) battle and crowd sequence you see in film & tv today is thanks to this software and lotr. the first time it was used was for the battle at helm's deep sequence during the two towers - and even then, that scene took over 100 days to film! the lord of the rings trilogy has been nominated 30 times and won 17 academy awards, honouring their revolutionary work in cinematography, score, visual effects, sound and picture editing, costume design, adapted screenplay, and more, and the return of the king was the first fantasy film ever to win best picture. the return of the king also accumulated eleven (!!) oscar wins, a record tied with titanic and ben-hur. aside from academy awards, the films, crew and cast have been nominated and awarded by countless guilds, boards and various awards ceremonies alike.

the rings of power however is a soulless cash grab that actively shits on tolkien's work, which is only loosely based on the novels at best. there are countless tolkien experts that can explain this much better than me, if you're interested in learning more i highly recommend reading up on it. the portrayal of galadriel alone is so severely out of character (just from the trailers!), i would argue these characters we know and love from the lotr books and films may as well be from an alternate reality of middle-earth. peter jackson and fran walsh are not affiliated with the rings of power. much like the house of the dragon, this is yet another attempt at attracting streams through the promise of nostalgia-bait, and it's riding the success of what came before it. and no, this is not because im a racist, woman-hating, anti-progressive, and elitist tolkienist, and the people who say this are performative and dont actually understand the underlying issue. the rings of power was funded because of jeff bezos personally involving himself in negotiations, and the series was created because he wanted it to be after obtaining the rights to develop a tv show. showrunners will label people like me criticizing and asking people not to support the series as anti-progressive until the cows come home because it makes them look good. if you still care about boycotting amazon, boycott this show. it's directly tied to bezos and his rotten money. if you must watch it purely for entertainment, fine, but this is a gentle reminder that pirating is easy and free <3

[christinesficrecs]

Hi!!

Thanks for all the work you do

Any fic recs where Derek loves stiles but has to work to get Stiles to like him back?

Anything with Lots of pining,angst, miscommunication,arranged marriage,that kind of thing, long fics preffered

I have a short attention span when it comes to angsty fics. You can find more here and here. 

Derek's Epic Love Story by arrowofcarnations | 11.5K | Explicit

Derek Hale is good at getting what he wants. Unfortunately, what he wants now is Stiles Stilinski, who doesn't exactly seem to be in the mood for his shit.

Bonds of Blood, Bonds of Family, Bonds of Love by TyReed | 44K | Mature

After being beaten up by a door, werewolf Stiles Stilinksi finds himself bonded to Derek Hale, of the Hale Noble Bloodline. For a scrawny, wimpy, Tainted Bloodline werewolf, Stiles runs away, embarrassed and humiliated as he worries about bringing shame to the Hale Family, and even more shame to himself. Because the Nobles and Tainted just don't mix, never have, never will.

Except, things aren't exactly what they seem.

With the help of the (meddling) Hale family, his adoptive (meddling) human parents John and Claudia Stilinksi, and one very persistent Alpha Derek Hale, Stiles might come to see himself as more than just the blood that runs through his veins, and open his heart to find the happiness, friends, pack, and the family that he'd always wanted.

A Broken Heart Is Blind | 5.3K | Mature

When Lydia dumps Stiles to get back with Jackson, Stiles rebounds with Derek, his former TA. It was just supposed to be a one night stand, but they're both a little confused about what the rules for those are.

Written in the Stars by Quixoticity | 26.5K | Mature

Derek Hale is a lucky guy. He's got a great family, good friends, and a fulfilling job as a tattoo artist.

He's also one of the twenty-five per cent of the population born with a soul mark.

He likes his life, but he's waiting for his soul-match. The odds of meeting them aren't great but hey, Derek's a lucky guy. He has faith.

He can't believe how good his luck really is when one day his soul-match wanders right into his studio, all long limbs and copper eyes. There's just one problem: Stiles is there to get his soul mark covered up. Permanently.

The Not So Beauty to Your Not So Beast by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) | 64.4K | Mature

“Mieczyslaw Stilinski?”

All eyes instantly turned to Stiles and he felt his stomach drop. They’d taken his dad. They’d actually taken his dad and were here to tell him so.

“Yeah?” he asked in a small voice, feeling ready to be sick.

The second he spoke, two of the four regular guards moved through the rows, the lead guard speaking.

“By order of his Grace Peter Hale, you have been selected to begin your employ under the royal house of Hale.”

Wait.

What?

Mating Habits of the Domesticated North American Werewolf by lielabell | 35.4K | Mature

Derek doesn’t do pining. He doesn’t. So when it becomes clear that Stiles is much more interested in having Derek as a new best friend than a boyfriend, he puts on his big boy pants and makes it fucking work. He becomes the best goddamn friend a spastic teenager could ever hope to have.

Weave Soft Spells Over My Sight by AgnesBlue | 51.4K | Mature

Derek had blossomed steadily over the past year, growing into his ears and turning even more handsome, if that were possible. But instead of going out and melting the panties off the girls, suddenly he was coming to Stiles all bashed in, demanding that he patch him up like Stiles was some freelance nurse. It was a familiar pattern by now.

Thaw by TroubleIWant | 9.9K | Mature

In which Stiles is an Emissary, Derek is in love with him, and nothing comes as easy as it should.

I Intend to be Independently Blue by Loz | 21.7K | Mature

Stiles is the worst thing that could have happened to Derek. He hasn't been wolfing out at inopportune moments since his teens, but only because he has a system in place. And this is where Stiles comes into play. Because he's been messing with this system, and doesn't even know. Also, there's a wendigo.

Living a Teenage Dream by Lissadiane | 19.8K

Rumor has it that Sheriff Stilinkski won't let his stepson Scott date until his other son Stiles does, so when Allison makes the mistake of falling for Scott, her well-meaning (and dickish) friends hatch a scheme to hire someone to take Stiles to homecoming.

You Remember It All; When I Loved You So by crossroadswrite | 21.4K 

Derek takes a step forward and then stops. Stiles can see the way his muscles tense and tremble like he’s holding himself back by a hair.

“What-“ his voice breaks, he gets a little choked off and has to drop his eyes.

It’s been one year. He doesn’t think he can look at him after one year.

“What are you doing here?” he mumbles into the floor, knows that Derek will hear him.

“I-“

erroneous manoeuvres by slippingfromreality | 5.3K

“Hey, Stilinski!”

Stiles clenches his teeth. “What do you want, Hale?” he shouts back, not bothering to turn around. The smug smirk that’s most likely waiting for him is already seared into his mind from overexposure.

“A date!” the answer comes, still as loud, and most of the bystanders giggle or snort in Stiles’ direction.

Stiles rolls his eyes. This is the third time this week. He’d complain that Hale’s jokes are getting pretty stale, but he’d probably be milking this situation for all that it’s worth, too, if their roles were reversed. “Wrong aisle,” he grouses back, “try the bakery section. I hear they have fresh tarts.”

Semblance of Hope by Dexterous_Sinistrous | 14.8K | Explicit

“Have a drink,” John offered, looking over Derek’s shoulder at the bar. “I know that a certain someone would be happy to see you again.”

Derek turned to look over his shoulder, catching sight of a familiar head of messy hair, pale skin, and moles. The exact person he wanted to see behind the bar.

Stiles.

It had been almost five years since Derek saw Stiles, remembering the last night he saw him. How much of a coward he had been, sneaking out of the room before Stiles could wake. He wasn’t any good—for anyone.

And he knew, more than anything, he didn't deserve Stiles.

Badly Timed Boners and A Failure To Communicate by eeyore9990 | 22.8K | Explicit

Suddenly, Derek is everywhere, and not just in that creepy, Edward Cullen, I'm-gonna-stalk-around-and-lurk-broodingly way. Stiles doesn't know what's up with that, but he's pretty sure there's only one conclusion to be reached.

We're all going to fucking die.

Scrubbing Bubbles by MargaretKire | 46K | Explicit

Stiles thought it would be easy doing janitorial work for an office. At first, it really was. The job only took a few hours in the evenings and it helped pay for rent and college. Sure, Hale Industries took up an entire floor in one of the downtown financial buildings, but the place was new and easy to care for. He didn’t even have to spend much time cleaning the huge corner office, because the trash was nearly always empty and the office itself was spotless, like no one used it.

It was basically the perfect college job. At least, until the boss started staying late.

Jinx Removing by DevilDoll | 6.2K | Explicit

"Derek wished he would sit down or take his jacket off or something; anything that would indicate he was going to stay for more than a few minutes."

Alpha Nose Best by CharWright5 | 23.1K | Explicit

Alpha Derek Hale is noseblind. He can smell every day things, like coffee brewing or recently mowed grass or people's perfume, but when it comes to personal scents and telling an Alpha from a Beta from an Omega? Not so much. As annoying as it may be, he's grown to accept it and moves on with his life. Besides, he has more important things to worry about.

Until he stumbles upon the most delicious scent he's ever had the pleasure of sniffing in his life, leading to an unfortunate misunderstanding in a public bathroom. And to make matters worse, this Alpha-hating Omega he accidentally accosted just happens to be the best friend of his own best friend Erica and the two of them have been recruited to help her plan part of her elopement. It's not how Derek wanted to spend his week...until it totally is.

it's obvious, you're oblivious by EvanesDust | 14.8K | Explicit

Derek’s new roommate is alpha bait but seems disinterested in everyone—especially Derek.

Stiles is suddenly popular, but can't seem to catch the interest of the only alpha he actually likes.

...or the one where Stiles and Derek get paired together in room assignments and are secretly in love with the other.

Turn a Little Faster by skoosiepants | 3.2K

He shifts back and forth on his feet and tries to psych himself up. He can do this. He’s a badass werewolf, he can totally tell Stiles that they accidentally got werewolf married because—because Stiles was thinking about him, and happened to give him a token of his, uh, affection under the silvery light of the last full moon. Platonic affection, Derek thinks sourly, so he doesn’t get why his wolf feels all warm and fuzzy and bonded all of a sudden.

Honestly, it’s like—why aren’t people accidentally getting werewolf married all the time, if it happens this easily?

Teenage Dream by matildajones | 58.5K | Mature

After an accident, Stiles wakes up to what can only be a dream. He has money, he has fame, he has award winning actor Derek Hale as his husband. It quickly seems more and more like a nightmare because Stiles doesn't remember getting any of it - and it's hard to accept the reality that Derek can still love him.

[siswritesyanderes]

Hi! I’m curious: if you had to be the obsession of one yandere from each of your favorite fandoms, who would you choose and why?

Oh, that’s such a good question! I hope I don’t forget any fandoms. (Every time a question like this comes up, I forget all of my interests, lol.) I’m going to go ahead and include a lot of fandoms in this post, regardless of how much I like the thing itself. (I’m clarifying this because you said “favorite fandoms” and these aren’t necessarily my favorites, lol.) Boy, here’s hoping I don’t learn anything about myself, answering this question. Okay, in no particular order:

Harry Potter:

Okay, I’m thinking Newt or Tom Riddle. Newt is really good at caretaking, he’s soft-spoken, and I know from Les Mis that Eddie Redmayne is able to sing (which, in my mind, means Newt can and he’d sing lullabies). Meanwhile, Tom is powerful and, pre-Horcruxes, not too bad-tempered. He’s got followers, which is good for many reasons; he’s not sadistic like Bellatrix; on the whole, he’s a fairly balanced yandere with a surprising number of benefits.

Or Fred and George; they’re prodigies at what they do (They’re pretty much inventors); they’d be self-aware and fun as yanderes; and also they’re canonically kind of ruthless. Yeah, I think I’m settling on Fred and George for this one.

Twilight: 

By the metric of appearance, Seth or Caius. But if I’m taking everything into consideration, maybe Demetri? His power has great yandere potential that would only backfire on me if I’d already escaped, which I probably wouldn’t manage anyway, since I’m a human. He’s high enough in the Volturi that I’d be safe from most everything, but not one of the main three, which is good because I think being Caius or Marcus’s mate would invite a lot of scrutiny from Aro (and he killed Didyme), and being Aro’s might invite sassiness from Caius; just generally, I wouldn’t want to get in on whatever bond they have unless it was a poly thing where they all cared about me. Also, I’d rather avoid Aro’s power if possible, though I suppose having him be yandere for me would be like empirical evidence that even my entire history of thoughts is attractive, which would boost my ego to an absurd degree. You know what, maybe Aro. 

Then there’s also Benjamin, who has a chill personality, awesome power (especially since fire is the thing that kills vampires; being able to control it is like extra immortality on top of the existing immortality), and the innate freedom of not being a part of the Volturi. Yet, if he were to be recruited by the Volturi, you know he’d be as high-ranking as Demetri, if not higher. Again, safety. Demetri, Benjamin, or Aro, on the vampire side. (No Cullens, since they’ve actively provoked the Volturi and I don’t trust their ability to keep me safe. If Cullens were on the table, though, Jasper and Alice.)

Wolf-wise, I feel like Leah would be a really considerate and protective yandere, and since she’s the fastest of the wolves, I think she could get me out of most danger. Maybe Jared, since the only things I know about him are that he has a sense of humor and he can be SUPER manipulative (Like, that “Lee-lee” thing from Breaking Dawn was ruthless.), and that’s a valuable skill in a yandere’s tool belt. But ultimately I guess I would have to choose Jacob, since any of them would be physically unable to disobey him, even under yandere circumstances, so there’s no guarantee they would protect me no matter how much they wanted to. (Also I wouldn’t have to go through the turning process, if I’m with a wolf instead of a vampire.)

Final answer, Aro, Benjamin, or Jacob.

The Hunger Games:

Boy, I would say Snow, because I know he would pull strings for me and give gifts and stuff, but I also feel like he’d be kind of a selfish yandere. Like, he’d be kind when it’s convenient, but he’d ultimately be looking out for his own happiness. I love Finnick, but I feel like yandere traits for him would manifest too selflessly; like, I’d be worried about Finnick, as a yandere. Johanna “There’s no one left I love” Mason would be fiercely protective, but not worryingly selfless. She’d be clingy and spirited and probably beat some people up over me.

Divergent: 

Definitely Peter! He stabbed a guy in the eye in canon! He’s got an intersection of creepy and pragmatic going on, kind of like a human version of Jasper from Twilight, but without the racial baggage. I get that a lot of people thirst after Eric, and Eric definitely has more power than Peter, but his personality doesn’t interest me.

Percy Jackson:

Percy or Leo. Powers and personalities are perfect for yandere. Nico and Will, if they’re bi; I’m not caught up on Trials of Apollo, so I’m not sure.

WAIT, maybe Reyna?? The confidence, the metal dogs...Yeah, Reyna is awesome, too.

Descendants: 

Harry, Uma, and Gil as a unit. Just all three of them at once. They’re pirates, they’re already so steamy and intense about their relationships in canon (or Harry and Uma are, at least), and they’re all very attractive. If I had to choose one, I think Uma. Or Ben, since he’s a really nice guy with a strong moral compass, at least in the first movie (meaning a yandere interpretation of him would most likely become extreme in his morals, rather than corrupt), and he’s the king.

Detroit Become Human:

(I’m literally only making this a category because I find it unbelievable that any yandere Markus is characterized as, like, a rough and dominant yandere.) Markus was a caretaking android for an old man; he would be very loving, understanding, and supportive. His revolutionary energy is not turned against his loved ones. Nothing in canon suggests he would ever be rough with someone he loves. (Connor, meanwhile, is an android cop who is rough with his friends in canon, but lots of fan works characterize him as soft. Puzzling. Maybe uncomfortable, from a racial standpoint, since Markus is a man of color.) 

Also, Ralph is the absolute perfect mix of well-meaning and delusional and intense. Ralph is perfect as a yandere. Why isn’t there more yandere Ralph?? I love Ralph.

And also Jerry, because he’s cheerful and there’s a lot of him. Just a thousand of this one guy, all in love with one person? Yandere gold.

Undertale:

Sans. Or Asgore. Let’s move on. 😅

Legacy of Orïsha:

Roën. Easy. Another pirate, with emotional intelligence and a sense of humor! Self-aware but with a loose moral compass. I love him.

Avatar: The Last Airbender:

Having thought it through, either Jet or Mai; Jet is a charming yet hot-headed rebel, and we’ve already seen what it’s like when he’s like when he takes his ideals to an extreme. He would absolutely flood a town for his loved one, which, now that I’m saying it, shouldn’t be phrased like a desired outcome, but we’re talking yandere here, so it’s fine. 

Mai, meanwhile, would seem dry and casual while also doing the most. She would be satisfied with just sitting in silence, which is chill. And given her wealth, she might ‘gilded cage’ me. Then again, she’s not very forthcoming with praise or positivity in general.

Actually, yeah, just Jet.

MCU:

Listen, I really dislike Wanda in canon, but Wanda and Vision would be the best yanderes. Their powers, Wanda’s tendency to not take responsibility for her actions, there’s a lot there. And, like, she’s generally nice to people she cares about (and Vision is a Mjolnir-lifting sweetheart); she’s pretty much exactly right to be a yandere.

Maybe Nebula, since I want to give Nebula a hug and let her win at tic tac toe or something. She would fire the very biggest guns at anyone who made themself a threat to me, but one-on-one she’s so soft and frank and I love her.

(I want to say M’Baku because Winston Duke seems so lovely, but M’Baku the character seems too strict; we’ve never seen him with a loved one.)

Dandelion: Wishes Brought to You:

Jieun, in his good end, or Jisoo, in his bad end. Look, my friend got me into this game in high school; don’t look at me. Jieun is smart, psychic, very chill, and a king. Jisoo is practically the opposite. Both work very well as yanderes.

[neocatharsis]

NCT’s Mark Lee on Dreams, Instagram Poetry, and Growing Up

Mark has a lot going on — but he’s making time for poetry, introspection, and, of course, the members of NCT Dream. - Vivien Wu

“I’ve been thinking about dreams a lot these days!” Mark Lee exclaims over Zoom from SM Entertainment’s Seoul headquarters.

The 21-year-old leader of NCT Dream is enthusiastic as he mulls over the meaning of dreams, his back against a wall of pink and yellow flowers assembled by his fellow NCT members. He’s wearing a simple, white tee, and when he gestures with his hands, you can catch glimpses of the friendship ring that all seven members of NCT Dream wear as a symbol of their bond.

“I actually feel like dreams hold a large portion of a life, and I’m not just talking about the subconscious dreams that we all have when we sleep,” he continues. “If you put it in a way where dreams are actually things that motivate us, and the drive that keeps us going, especially as a strongly driven person myself, I feel like… a guy with no dreams is like…” He looks up, thinking. “…A car with no engine. So, I think it’s as important as yourself. That’s how deep I go with dreams.”

His interest in dreams is fitting, considering that they are also the central, underlying concept to the lore behind NCT Dream’s parent group, NCT. They connect their three subunits, NCT 127, NCT Dream, and WayV, in a complex, Inception-inspired fictional universe where dreams are the only way they can find each other, and where upon uniting they can mix to form new subunits collectively referred to as NCT U. In practical terms, this has resulted in a 23-member mega-group that is multifaceted in every way — from their musical styles and visual aesthetics to their cultural backgrounds and spoken languages.

The 21-year-old leader of NCT Dream is enthusiastic as he mulls over the meaning of dreams, his back against a wall of pink and yellow flowers assembled by his fellow NCT members. He’s wearing a simple, white tee, and when he gestures with his hands, you can catch glimpses of the friendship ring that all seven members of NCT Dream wear as a symbol of their bond.

“I actually feel like dreams hold a large portion of a life, and I’m not just talking about the subconscious dreams that we all have when we sleep,” he continues. “If you put it in a way where dreams are actually things that motivate us, and the drive that keeps us going, especially as a strongly driven person myself, I feel like… a guy with no dreams is like…” He looks up, thinking. “…A car with no engine. So, I think it’s as important as yourself. That’s how deep I go with dreams.”

His interest in dreams is fitting, considering that they are also the central, underlying concept to the lore behind NCT Dream’s parent group, NCT. They connect their three subunits, NCT 127, NCT Dream, and WayV, in a complex, Inception-inspired fictional universe where dreams are the only way they can find each other, and where upon uniting they can mix to form new subunits collectively referred to as NCT U. In practical terms, this has resulted in a 23-member mega-group that is multifaceted in every way — from their musical styles and visual aesthetics to their cultural backgrounds and spoken languages.

NCT Dream’s original teenage concept meant that members were supposed to “graduate” when they came of age, and as the oldest, Mark was the first to leave the group at the end of 2018. Having grown attached, however, fans were devastated at his departure; after a year of separation, SM announced that the graduation system would be scrapped and that he would rejoin the group. Their new album, Hot Sauce, is the first with Mark in over two years. As fellow member Haechan declared in an interview with Teen Vogue earlier this week, “Mark [is] very special. NCT Dream means Mark.”

But before the rapper led NCT Dream, and before he joined NCT U and NCT 127 and SuperM — the man is in high demand — Mark’s childhood dream was writing. He grew up in Toronto, and through doing school projects and essays quickly discovered that he had a natural way with words. Inspired by Percy Jackson author Rick Riordan, Harry Potter, and James Patterson, Mark dreamt of becoming an author, long before he was recruited by SM at a global audition in Canada in 2012. “When I was in school, I was always the kind of guy who would write more than expected, and that became a thing that clicked for me,” he says. “I was like, ‘Maybe it’s something that I naturally do?’ But then that kind of turned into rap writing too, so I guess they kind of clicked together.” It explains his prolific career as a lyricist; since debuting, he’s amassed over 30 songwriting credits across his various groups, contributing to songs as iconic as NCT U’s “Boss,” NCT 127’s “Cherry Bomb,” and NCT Dream’s “Chewing Gum.”

Even with such an extensive body of work, however, penning lyrics hasn’t satiated his appetite for literary expression. In an interview with Japanese magazine Men’s Non-No, he revealed that he still hopes one day to write a book, whether that be a novel, autobiography, or something more philosophical.

In the meantime, he’s taken to writing what are basically short poems on his Instagram, which he created just a few months ago. He’s gathered over 4.5 million followers since then, but having such a large audience hasn’t deterred him from being endearingly vulnerable with the way he writes. When I refer to them as poems, he laughs and looks embarrassed, but when I ask him to tell me the stories behind them, he’s enthusiastic again. They’re short, but offer brief glimpses into Mark the writer — sharp, inquisitive, and thoughtful. As pieces of literature, they’re a little rough around the edges, but the sincerity he’s known for shines through, illuminating the introspective, philosophical side that may not be so obvious in person.

His first poem, loosely titled “Late Night Scribbling,” put into words his musings about sleep, thoughts, feelings, and writing. It meanders from topic to topic, hovering between feelings of hope and hopelessness, before ending with a comically awkward “haha.”

“I actually wrote that by imagining how I wanted to organize my Instagram page,” he explains. “I was thinking of creating an Instagram, then I realized that, well, I’m not really a picture kind of guy, I’m not really a travelling kind of guy… I kind of studied who I am first, and I [asked myself], ‘What’s something that I can really portray in an intimate way?’ and it turned out to be writing.”

“I started to brainstorm what kind of topics I could write about, and then from there on, I started to write a little each and every night, and that turned into Late Night Scribbling,” he continues. “That kind of gave me courage to start Instagram in the first place, that piece of writing.”

Two weeks later, he followed it up with “Black Socks,” a whimsical ode to, well, black socks — complete with accompanying photos of him wearing said socks. Immediately, it feels more confident and cohesive than its predecessor. Using the neat and tidy look of black socks as a metaphor, he describes his own mindset for living life: “Pleasure from perfect alignment; That also goes for my ability to be parallel with my thoughts and actions; I try to live out what’s in my mind, and keep it consistent even when forgotten like a working habit.”

Comments on the posts praise his writing and encourage him to continue sharing these small pieces of himself. On the stage, Mark takes on a confident, larger-than-life persona, while in vlogs and spoken interviews, he’s a bubbly character full of laughter and boyish charm. What the poems show is that, beneath these outer appearances, there’s another layer of complexity that is yet to be fully explored, and it’s not surprising that fans want to know more.

His day job as a K-pop idol doesn’t allow a lot of time for hobbies, though, and he confesses to not having written much lately. Despite that, he’s determined to stay in the industry for as long as possible. “Longevity is something that I’ve always been aiming for,” he says. “I’m willing to do this for a long time, and that requires a lot of work. I’m willing to take that as a challenge and I’m trying to stay as long as I can, but with quality.”

That focus on quality informs his preparations for the upcoming promotions with NCT Dream. In both their fictional world and ours, NCT Dream are a central component of NCT by virtue of their unique focus on growth — the seven members were aged between 14 and 17 when the group first debuted in 2016. Fast-forward five years, and the members are now 19 to 21, having reached a milestone in January when the youngest, Jisung, finally became a legal adult in Korea. When asked if he feels like an adult yet, though, Mark gives an extremely relatable answer with zero hesitation.

“I still feel like I’m in middle school, I’m gonna be totally honest. I swear to God, I feel like I’m… All right, I’ll put it up — I feel like I’m in high school!” He laughs. “I even had this talk with Jisung, ‘cos he’s the latest that turned into an adult. He said that he still feels like he’s a student, he doesn’t feel like he’s 20 [19 in international age] right now.”

It’s been a long time since all seven Dream members — Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung — have released an album together, and as the first full-length album since their debut, the fan anticipation is palpably intense. Mark himself has mentioned in various vlogs how important he believes this comeback to be, and that conviction becomes obvious whenever he talks about it.

“We had a talk all together, the seven of us, without any cameras or anything. I brought all the guys together and we talked before the whole momentum started, and I said that I’m willing to put my everything on this one. Like, I always had, but I feel like… the whole universe, or like— ” He pauses, trying to figure out how to articulate himself, and his next line is the most emphatic of our whole conversation. “There are things that are out of our control, but we can see and feel when the pieces match together sometimes, and I feel like this specific moment, this particular album, kind of had those essential parts.”

He’s thinking about all of the context surrounding this comeback: the group’s coming of age, the reunion of all seven members, the scale of the album, the fact that Jisung has only just recovered from a leg injury that meant he couldn’t dance for months — even the fact that 2020 was, against all odds, the best year yet for NCT, with release after release bringing them unprecedented success and momentum.

“I felt that coming and I explained all of that [to the group],” he continues. “This whole period of time has a lot of meaning to it, and we’re not taking that for granted, we’re working hard.” With everything that’s happened, Hot Sauce is a historic moment for NCT Dream, and that’s been reflected in their numbers — the album clocked over 1.7 million pre-orders, obliterating their previous record of 500,000 for last year’s EP, Reload.

Their familial bond and the success that has come with it is the culmination of years spent living, working, and growing up together. The members have collectively missed out on key experiences that most teenagers might take for granted, distanced as they are from normal life, and the group also benefits from an unusually loose adherence to traditional Korean age hierarchy. The result is a brotherhood that goes beyond just being colleagues. “What we have is pretty intimate, and it’s also genuine,” Mark says.

About his role, he is matter of fact. “I’m by far the most easily approachable punching bag for the team. I am not… complaining…” He laughs. “But all jokes aside, I feel like my role for this team… Yes, I am the oldest and I am the leader but I’m also… In Korea, in the culture, age is very important, but we’ve come so far that all those borders kind of just vanished and we’re all pretty much friends, and I guess I’m just a friend of theirs too.”

It’s true that, despite being the leader, his friendly personality and endearingly awkward mannerisms mean that he commands about as much authority as a small puppy. Instead, much like a puppy, he is showered with love and affection (fellow member Chenle refers to Mark as his son and his actual puppy Daegal as Mark’s little sister), but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a dependable leader figure. The opposite is true — in Renjun’s words, Mark’s presence unites the group in a way that makes him irreplaceable.

The 21-year-old leader of NCT Dream is enthusiastic as he mulls over the meaning of dreams, his back against a wall of pink and yellow flowers assembled by his fellow NCT members. He’s wearing a simple, white tee, and when he gestures with his hands, you can catch glimpses of the friendship ring that all seven members of NCT Dream wear as a symbol of their bond.

“I actually feel like dreams hold a large portion of a life, and I’m not just talking about the subconscious dreams that we all have when we sleep,” he continues. “If you put it in a way where dreams are actually things that motivate us, and the drive that keeps us going, especially as a strongly driven person myself, I feel like… a guy with no dreams is like…” He looks up, thinking. “…A car with no engine. So, I think it’s as important as yourself. That’s how deep I go with dreams.”

His interest in dreams is fitting, considering that they are also the central, underlying concept to the lore behind NCT Dream’s parent group, NCT. They connect their three subunits, NCT 127, NCT Dream, and WayV, in a complex, Inception-inspired fictional universe where dreams are the only way they can find each other, and where upon uniting they can mix to form new subunits collectively referred to as NCT U. In practical terms, this has resulted in a 23-member mega-group that is multifaceted in every way — from their musical styles and visual aesthetics to their cultural backgrounds and spoken languages.

NCT Dream’s original teenage concept meant that members were supposed to “graduate” when they came of age, and as the oldest, Mark was the first to leave the group at the end of 2018. Having grown attached, however, fans were devastated at his departure; after a year of separation, SM announced that the graduation system would be scrapped and that he would rejoin the group. Their new album, Hot Sauce, is the first with Mark in over two years. As fellow member Haechan declared in an interview with Teen Vogue earlier this week, “Mark [is] very special. NCT Dream means Mark.”

But before the rapper led NCT Dream, and before he joined NCT U and NCT 127 and SuperM — the man is in high demand — Mark’s childhood dream was writing. He grew up in Toronto, and through doing school projects and essays quickly discovered that he had a natural way with words. Inspired by Percy Jackson author Rick Riordan, Harry Potter, and James Patterson, Mark dreamt of becoming an author, long before he was recruited by SM at a global audition in Canada in 2012. “When I was in school, I was always the kind of guy who would write more than expected, and that became a thing that clicked for me,” he says. “I was like, ‘Maybe it’s something that I naturally do?’ But then that kind of turned into rap writing too, so I guess they kind of clicked together.” It explains his prolific career as a lyricist; since debuting, he’s amassed over 30 songwriting credits across his various groups, contributing to songs as iconic as NCT U’s “Boss,” NCT 127’s “Cherry Bomb,” and NCT Dream’s “Chewing Gum.”

Even with such an extensive body of work, however, penning lyrics hasn’t satiated his appetite for literary expression. In an interview with Japanese magazine Men’s Non-No, he revealed that he still hopes one day to write a book, whether that be a novel, autobiography, or something more philosophical.

In the meantime, he’s taken to writing what are basically short poems on his Instagram, which he created just a few months ago. He’s gathered over 4.5 million followers since then, but having such a large audience hasn’t deterred him from being endearingly vulnerable with the way he writes. When I refer to them as poems, he laughs and looks embarrassed, but when I ask him to tell me the stories behind them, he’s enthusiastic again. They’re short, but offer brief glimpses into Mark the writer — sharp, inquisitive, and thoughtful. As pieces of literature, they’re a little rough around the edges, but the sincerity he’s known for shines through, illuminating the introspective, philosophical side that may not be so obvious in person.

His first poem, loosely titled “Late Night Scribbling,” put into words his musings about sleep, thoughts, feelings, and writing. It meanders from topic to topic, hovering between feelings of hope and hopelessness, before ending with a comically awkward “haha.”

“I actually wrote that by imagining how I wanted to organize my Instagram page,” he explains. “I was thinking of creating an Instagram, then I realized that, well, I’m not really a picture kind of guy, I’m not really a travelling kind of guy… I kind of studied who I am first, and I [asked myself], ‘What’s something that I can really portray in an intimate way?’ and it turned out to be writing.”

“I started to brainstorm what kind of topics I could write about, and then from there on, I started to write a little each and every night, and that turned into Late Night Scribbling,” he continues. “That kind of gave me courage to start Instagram in the first place, that piece of writing.”

Two weeks later, he followed it up with “Black Socks,” a whimsical ode to, well, black socks — complete with accompanying photos of him wearing said socks. Immediately, it feels more confident and cohesive than its predecessor. Using the neat and tidy look of black socks as a metaphor, he describes his own mindset for living life: “Pleasure from perfect alignment; That also goes for my ability to be parallel with my thoughts and actions; I try to live out what’s in my mind, and keep it consistent even when forgotten like a working habit.”

Comments on the posts praise his writing and encourage him to continue sharing these small pieces of himself. On the stage, Mark takes on a confident, larger-than-life persona, while in vlogs and spoken interviews, he’s a bubbly character full of laughter and boyish charm. What the poems show is that, beneath these outer appearances, there’s another layer of complexity that is yet to be fully explored, and it’s not surprising that fans want to know more.

His day job as a K-pop idol doesn’t allow a lot of time for hobbies, though, and he confesses to not having written much lately. Despite that, he’s determined to stay in the industry for as long as possible. “Longevity is something that I’ve always been aiming for,” he says. “I’m willing to do this for a long time, and that requires a lot of work. I’m willing to take that as a challenge and I’m trying to stay as long as I can, but with quality.”

That focus on quality informs his preparations for the upcoming promotions with NCT Dream. In both their fictional world and ours, NCT Dream are a central component of NCT by virtue of their unique focus on growth — the seven members were aged between 14 and 17 when the group first debuted in 2016. Fast-forward five years, and the members are now 19 to 21, having reached a milestone in January when the youngest, Jisung, finally became a legal adult in Korea. When asked if he feels like an adult yet, though, Mark gives an extremely relatable answer with zero hesitation.

“I still feel like I’m in middle school, I’m gonna be totally honest. I swear to God, I feel like I’m… All right, I’ll put it up — I feel like I’m in high school!” He laughs. “I even had this talk with Jisung, ‘cos he’s the latest that turned into an adult. He said that he still feels like he’s a student, he doesn’t feel like he’s 20 [19 in international age] right now.”

It’s been a long time since all seven Dream members — Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung — have released an album together, and as the first full-length album since their debut, the fan anticipation is palpably intense. Mark himself has mentioned in various vlogs how important he believes this comeback to be, and that conviction becomes obvious whenever he talks about it.

“We had a talk all together, the seven of us, without any cameras or anything. I brought all the guys together and we talked before the whole momentum started, and I said that I’m willing to put my everything on this one. Like, I always had, but I feel like… the whole universe, or like— ” He pauses, trying to figure out how to articulate himself, and his next line is the most emphatic of our whole conversation. “There are things that are out of our control, but we can see and feel when the pieces match together sometimes, and I feel like this specific moment, this particular album, kind of had those essential parts.”

He’s thinking about all of the context surrounding this comeback: the group’s coming of age, the reunion of all seven members, the scale of the album, the fact that Jisung has only just recovered from a leg injury that meant he couldn’t dance for months — even the fact that 2020 was, against all odds, the best year yet for NCT, with release after release bringing them unprecedented success and momentum.

“I felt that coming and I explained all of that [to the group],” he continues. “This whole period of time has a lot of meaning to it, and we’re not taking that for granted, we’re working hard.” With everything that’s happened, Hot Sauce is a historic moment for NCT Dream, and that’s been reflected in their numbers — the album clocked over 1.7 million pre-orders, obliterating their previous record of 500,000 for last year’s EP, Reload.

Their familial bond and the success that has come with it is the culmination of years spent living, working, and growing up together. The members have collectively missed out on key experiences that most teenagers might take for granted, distanced as they are from normal life, and the group also benefits from an unusually loose adherence to traditional Korean age hierarchy. The result is a brotherhood that goes beyond just being colleagues. “What we have is pretty intimate, and it’s also genuine,” Mark says.

About his role, he is matter of fact. “I’m by far the most easily approachable punching bag for the team. I am not… complaining…” He laughs. “But all jokes aside, I feel like my role for this team… Yes, I am the oldest and I am the leader but I’m also… In Korea, in the culture, age is very important, but we’ve come so far that all those borders kind of just vanished and we’re all pretty much friends, and I guess I’m just a friend of theirs too.”

It’s true that, despite being the leader, his friendly personality and endearingly awkward mannerisms mean that he commands about as much authority as a small puppy. Instead, much like a puppy, he is showered with love and affection (fellow member Chenle refers to Mark as his son and his actual puppy Daegal as Mark’s little sister), but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a dependable leader figure. The opposite is true — in Renjun’s words, Mark’s presence unites the group in a way that makes him irreplaceable.

And while this may be the fifth year since their debut, in the grand scheme of things, the members of NCT Dream are still very, very young — by most standards, they would still be considered to have their entire careers ahead of them. Growth has brought them here, but where does Mark think it will take them in the future?

“Growing just never stops for us, I can see us growing continuously, endlessly,” he replies. “What the future holds is something that we will never know, but we always do try to prepare during the present, and so with whatever time we have currently and with whatever album, or whatever stage, or whatever piece of music it may be, we’re willing to make sure that we have the next one coming too.”

A final thought. “I’m glad that we’re striving for that, ‘cos we started off as…” Mark shakes his head, “…as babies.”

© Teen Vogue

[hardestgrove]

it’s fun thinking about who the king kids do and don’t get along with bc it’s very weird.

like you’d think emily and jonathan would get on bc they’re both depressing weirdos but emily’s natural state is to be unbearably intense and that would put him right off. similar with nancy though they do bond over academics since they’re both really good students. steve she weirdly gets on with???? like a lot????? i think because he’s very good at just Accepting Weird and has a lot of emotional/interpersonal intelligence. billy and her have a whole weird “self recognition thru the other” thing going on. when it comes to robin emily’s just like “hell yeah love this funky lil lesbian”. eddie is also high on her list of people but he gets Genuinely Scared of her sometimes.

when it comes to the younger kids she likes all of them a lot but also wants to throw them all in a pool for being so annoying. shout out to dustin for being the biggest love-hate of her life. they’re both a Lot and their A Lotness conflicts. she also has a soft spot for the girls, especially 11 bc i mean..... 11 is a poor lil meow meow.

david and jackson get on with everyone but they probably get on the best with jonathan, the party, billy and eddie. which is a weird mix but hey klsjfghdfjklsd but they’re both just Weird Teen Boys so like.... ofc..... the billy thing is bc they’re all in the shit dad solidarity club dfgfdgs

stacy is an Aggressively Normal Preteen Girl so her very EXISTENCE makes the party hyperventilate out of pure terror and confusion. it takes a bit for them all to become friends since it takes a while for the boys to Act Normal fgdfgdsfgdf. she’s probably closest to el and will? also probably lucas as they get older. stacy and max have Issues bc of max’s “not like other girls”ness until they hash it out then they’re besties. probably thinks nancy, robin and steve are super cool but thinks billy is annoying and jonathan is weird. also probably has a crush on steve.

allison is like.... 6 to 10 thru all of this she’s both deeply liked and found utterly annoying as all kids that age are dfgdfgdgd also has a crush on steve and also on billy. honestly if someone older and pretty is nice to her has a crush in that “excited to see prince charming at disneyland” kinda way.