#and Lily if you read this I want to extend a thanks I would have

[purplebehittindifferent]

Battle won! You got 66g and crushing guilt!

That’s the end of chapter 2! Who’s ready for chapter 3? ME! ME! But wait- what’s THIS?

Masterpost

Prev (ch:2::8)/ End of chapter 2!

Next (INTERLUDE)

[theblack3stday]

YOUR RAREST OF FLOWERS — Marlene Mckinnon

Pairing: Marlene Mckinnon x shy!reader

Summary: You are a naturally shy girl and you usually only hang out with Remus. But, one day, you find yourself hanging out with the Marauders and being teased by Marlene.

A/N💌: Thanks for the request, I hope you like it🫶🏻🫶🏻

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: probably none

The weather was a perfect fit for the beauty of spring. The budding of the flowers, the greening of the leaves on the trees, the gentle wind blowing, and the shining sun made it all worthwhile.

As the wind passing through the open windows of the greenhouse spilled out, it also brought the scent of the flowers in the greenhouse and filled the noses of the students.

"The classes are over," said James excitedly as he sunbathed on the grass.

He turned his face to the sun and closed his eyes. In order to enjoy the heat better, he unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt, took off his tie and put it in his pocket.

"We are free and we can do whatever we want!" Sirius concluded James' words. He was sitting cross-legged next to James.

He grinned and extended his hand to his best friend, who completed his sentence as he wished. James and Sirius high-fived each other. Remus and Peter chuckled at them.

As Lily and Marlene come, boys’ attention turned to their friends.

“My flower!” he jumped from his place to give a kiss to his girlfriend. Marlene set her place next to Peter.

“Oh, fuck!” Remus cursed with realisation. “I have to meet Y/n at the library!”

Remus quickly hurried to meet up with you.

Meanwhile, James continued to fawn over Lily, who smiled with satisfaction. Marlene frowned and shouted after Remus. “Who the hell is Y/N?”

“His book buddy.” Peter answered.

Remus rushed through the hallways, desperate to make his way to the library. Once there, he found you already occupying a seat, buried in a book.

You have been Remus Lupin’s book buddy for quite some time now. Despite his quiet and sometimes brooding nature, you always enjoyed your time together spent discussing your latest books and their characters. Before you knew him, you had thought that he’s a noisy annoying idiot like his friends, but he was the opposite. He was calm, nice and understanding. You were a shy person, but when you were with him, you feel like you are with your brother.

Remus had quickly picked up on the fact that you were a shy person, even if you didn’t realize it yourselves. But he didn’t mind at all, because he knew that he was the same way. He found comfort in your quiet nature, and he enjoyed having someone who he could truly share his thoughts and feelings with. It was one of the main reasons why he enjoyed spending time with you so much.

As spotted you reading, he paused to take a few deep breaths to calm his nerves. Once he was sure he would not let his anxiety get the best of him, he approached you with a small smile. "Hey, Y/n. Sorry, I'm a bit late." he greeted you, his tone gentle and warm.

You smiled back at Remus, your face instantly warmed by his gentle demeanor.

"It's okay, I haven't been waiting for too long. Don't worry about it." you assured him, keeping your tone equally as gentle as his.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, both enjoying the feel of the other's company.

“So, what's the book you were reading?” Remus eventually asked, breaking the silence with a lighthearted, inquisitive tone.

You told Remus the title of the book you were reading, explaining that you had just started it but that it had instantly piqued your interest. Remus nodded along as he listened, his own curiosity piqued by your description.

“I can give you the book, when i finish it.” you said. Remus nodded as you offered him that “Thanks.”

“Do you want to read outside? The weather seems nice.” you asked him, closing your book.

As you and Remus walk outside, you see the Marauders lying on the grass, enjoying the sunlight and chatting amongst themselves. You recognize them as James, Sirius, Lily, Marlene and Peter, and they seem to be having a good time. They notice Remus and smile at him, but don't seem to notice you just yet. You feel a bit uncomfortable as your presence seems unnoticed by the Marauders, who continue to chat and laugh amongst themselves. Remus notices your discomfort and asks you, “Is everything alright?”

You shake your head and tell Remus, “Maybe we can read tomorrow, you know..”

Remus understands where you are coming from, and he comforts you, “We are not intruding. They are just chatting amongst themselves, and they are actually friendly people if you get to know them. Trust me, they are not that what you think.” he whispered, so only you could hear him.

“Hey, who’s this, Moony?” James noticed you first. Or you thought like that. Marlene was the one who noticed you. She noticed you before the others, and she quickly looks away, a slight smile on her face. Your shyness was so cute she thought. As you look around to see that the Marauders have noticed you, you see Marlene's gaze turn away with a slight smile on her face. You feel a bit embarrassed and shy being noticed, but you can't help but feel like Marlene's faint smile was directed at you.

“This is Y/N.” Remus said placing his hand to your shoulder. Marlene's faint smile seems to grow larger for a moment when she hears Remus mention your name. You can sense Marlene's gaze lingering on you after you've been introduced to the Marauders. She seems curious about you, and there's the faintest hint of a smile on her face.

As Remus introduced you to them, your shyness seemed to catch their attention. Particularly, Marlene appeared to gaze at you intently as you nervously looked away from her, feeling a little embarrassed by the attention. Her grin seemed to grow larger when she understands that you realised that she was interested in you. That made you blush even harder.

"I guess this is our book buddy, eh James?" Marlene added with a teasing wink, throwing you a flirtatious glance.

James laughed and agreed, "The one and only! We can't wait for you to hang out with us more often, " He joked, a playful glint of mischief in his eye.

As Marlene made the teasing comment, you felt your ears heat up with an instant blush. You could feel the Marauders' gaze on you, each of them finding your blush immensely adorable in its own way.

"Oh, I'm sure she will," Remus replied with a grin as he looked over to you, his tone playful but also reassuring.

"Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves now."

James let out a boisterous laugh as he slapped Remus' shoulder jokingly.

Remus returned a wink, as he smiled at you reassuringly. Marlene playfully rolled her eyes and shot Remus a small smirk before turning her gaze back towards you, her playful flirtatious glances now laced with curiosity.

You could sense a playful tension in the air between the four of them. You didn’t know what to say. You just stand there watching them making jokes, having fun and enjoying the day. You laughed with them, but never joined the conversations. You stood quietly in the background. Remus seemed to sense your nervousness and reluctance to join in on the conversations. He kept a close eye on you as well, and his playful tone became a little more gentle in his efforts to include you.

Meanwhile, Marlene couldn't help but watch you with growing curiosity. Her playful glances kept getting longer, she was becoming more and more intrigued by your soft shyness.

You could feel her gaze, and you found it difficult to not look at her in disbelief as she continued to flirt with you in such a subtle yet noticeable way.

As Marlene watched you, you were unaware that she had been looking at you for longer than you'd expect. She suddenly picked up a flower from near her feet, quietly and subtly.

She then reached up and handed it to you, not saying anything but hoping you'd understand the gesture.

As Marlene gracefully handed you the flower, she smiled with a slight blush filling her cheeks. The gesture was innocent yet clearly filled with romantic meaning, sending your heart fluttering in delight. You felt your ears heat up and your heart beat a bit faster as you softly smiled back at Marlene.

As you accepted the flower from Marlene, a warm feeling spread through you, and you couldn't help but return her smile. The simple gesture spoke volumes, and you felt a connection with her that went beyond words.

"Thanks," you murmured softly, your voice barely above a whisper, but carrying a depth of gratitude.

Marlene's smile widened at your response, and she nodded gently, her eyes sparkling with understanding.

The exchange between you and Marlene didn't go unnoticed by the others. James nudged Sirius playfully, a knowing smirk on his face, while Lily observed the interaction with a fond expression. Even Peter couldn't help but glance over, his curiosity piqued by the subtle yet significant moment unfolding before them.

Remus, ever observant, caught the exchange between you and Marlene, and a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He felt a sense of warmth and happiness seeing you connect with one of his closest friends.

"So, Y/N, what's your favorite book?" James asked you. As the group turned their attention towards you, you felt a mixture of excitement and nervousness fluttering in your chest. You swallowed softly, meeting their curious gazes with a tentative smile, ready to answer any question they had for you.

“You read?” Sirius frowned. James rolled his eyes to his best mate. You chuckled to their silly little ‘argument’. "Um, well, I really love that muggle book called ‘Little Women’"

“She read it 7 times!” Remus added.

James and Sirius were surprised to hear that information. “Did I hear that right?" James turned to his best friend.

“I think so.” Sirius said. Lily playfully rolled her eyes.

“This is a classic, I really love that book too! Do you have any other hobbies besides reading?" she smiled at you gently. You knew she was a nice and calm person. Once you were a group in the potions project.

“Hmm, I like to draw and paint in my free time. It's a nice way to unwind." you said.

“Maybe you could show us some of your works sometime?” Marlene grinned. The playful banter between you two continued, as Marlene seemed intrigued by your interests.

“Sure.” you played with your hair trying to avoid the eye contact between you and her.

“Maybe sometime, we could paint together?” she suggested.

“Sure, yeah.” you replied softly, continuing to avoid the eye contact.

After that day, you began to spend more time with the Marauders. The playful banter and flirtatious tones became a frequent occurrence for you, but you didn't mind it. Remus was still your best friend, but you get along with Lily too. She was so nice and obviously she was a crazy reader like you. The boys, Sirius, James and Peter, sometimes were very noisy, but you got used to it. They were fun, and it felt as if you could truly be yourself with them. Marlene continued to play with you. She loved making you blush, especially when your cheeks turned red. When you avoided eye contact, she knew she was doing it right.

It was an another sunny day. The year was almost over. The Hogwarts hallways were bathed in the warm glow of the midday sun, casting long shadows along the stone walls. Sunlight streamed through the high windows, painting intricate patterns on the polished floors. As students bustled between classes, the air was filled with a sense of energy and excitement.

“Y/N!” Marlene spotted you in the hallway outside of class. She playfully sprinted to keep up with your pace, she run towards you She tried to synchronise to your steps. She eventually caught up, giggling innocently at the sight of her chasing you around. “Do you remember that you promised me to paint together?” she playfully asked, matching your steps and rhythm.

You rolled your eyes “That was before I learned you can’t paint.”

"Then you can teach me, huh?" she said while placing her arm on your shoulder, continuing her playful flirtatious tone.

"Maybe..." you replied, with a confused glance to Marlene, who had a playful look on her face.

The two of you continued to have a playful exchange, with Marlene still matching your pace quite expertly.

"Come on, surely I can't be that bad!" Marlene said, continuing to playfully chase you.

"I wouldn't be so sure." you replied with a smirk, before continuing to walk casually as if the chase was no big deal.

Marlene playfully let out a playful huff of frustration as she continued to try and catch up to you.

"Well, if you want to see it so badly, I guess we're just gonna have to have that painting session soon!" she playfully pouted, clearly enjoying her own pouty behavior.

"If we do, I'll be sure to judge you mercilessly." you teased back with a laugh, as Marlene replied with an apologetic grimace.

As the two of you eventually made your way to the lake where the Marauders usually hung out, Marlene playfully commented on her lack of artistic talent.

"I may not be talented in painting, but I have other skills," she said playfully, as the two of you continued to walk along the quiet path.

“Like teasing shy girls?” you felt your heart beating quickly when you asked her that. You didn’t mean it, it just came out from your mouth and there were you, standing in front of her like a tomato.

"Like teasing shy girls." Marlene replied with a playful grin, causing your ears to warm with a blush of embarrassment.

Your shyness was something Marlene had grown quite fond of, and as such, she regularly enjoyed teasing you whenever the two of you interacted. The playful tone and flirtatious banter only made her teasing more enjoyable, causing you to blush more heavily and smile softly, albeit still feeling a little bit of embarrassment.

You were still blushing profusely when Marlene suddenly leaned forward and kissed you, completely taking you off guard.

You were stunned for a moment, but the feeling of her lips against your own was electrifying and made your blush grow even brighter.

Your shock at her sudden actions soon turned into pure ecstasy, and your cheeks felt warm and fuzzy as you enjoyed the unexpected kiss.

Marlene pulled her face away from yours after the kiss, her expression one of pleasure.

"I hope the shy girl likes me teasing her?" she asked with a giggle, her flirty voice filled with playfulness.

You were still a bit taken aback from the unexpected kiss, but you managed to reply with a soft smile and a nod.

"Good," Marlene said playfully, her playful tone and flirty energy still flowing through her voice.

Marlene giggled softly as she leaned closer and kisses you again, this time leaving no doubt that she had every intention of doing so. The playful flirtatious tension between the two of you only grew stronger with the repeated act of kissing, making both sides eager for more.

As Marlene and you engaged in another series of kisses, the tension and flirttous energy between the two of you escalated intensely, as if to compensate for the shyness and awkwardness you had experienced previously.

Your kisses grew more passionate and intense, and before you knew it, the two of you were deeply involved in a heated and fiery makeout session, oblivious to the world around you. Your hearts were pounding in your throats, and your breaths were coming quickly as you both enjoyed the intimacy of the moment.

@hrts4prongs ‘s request

[cassiachales]

Journal Entry Two [And Realising That Grayson Hawthorne Has A Slutty Waist] 

note: i actually didn't expect people to like this and actually read it ajhhagfrkyuesyrk thanks for all your nice comments <33

Sunday– Simply put, I’m fucked. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Xander’s amazing plan began by throwing a party in Hawthorne House, and honestly, after drinking a bit too much last night, you didn’t find enough courage in yourself to drink more.

Because Xander’s parties always, always had a game of Whiskey Woes, and whiskey made your head spin.

Xander: Honestly, you should be glad I’m not locking you two in a room together 😏

You read and re-read that message countless times, not believing that Xander was actually trying to set you up with Grayson.

Like seriously?

You, someone who has life, and him, who’s a living statue? Even a random person on the street would say that the two of you didn’t belong together, no etceteras at all.

You: I don’t think whatever you’re planning is any better

Xander: Trust in me

Trusting a Hawthorne is the biggest mistake one can make. It’s a bad idea.

Unfortunately, you’re filled to the brim with bad ideas.

That’s how you found yourself in the sunroom of Hawthorne House at eight p.m., unopened whiskey bottles on the floor and papers with pens. Every single Hawthorne was there, except for Nash.

Bartending, apparently.

Avery was there too, sitting on the sofa with Jameson at her feet. And then there was Maxine Liu, who you knew to be Avery’s best friend.

Grayson was on an armchair, his legs stretched out and his body leaning to the side, his index finger on his temple and his elbow settled on the armrest.

Xander cleared his throat, and you began to dread what he was planning.

“As everyone here knows, no party is complete–or begins–without Whiskey Woes. Usually, we write a secret on a piece of paper, a secret that completely breaks you, and throw it in the Bowl of Woe.” He points towards a flowery plastic bowl in the middle of the room, decorated with chipped paint which illustrated roses and lilies.

“And then, we sit in a circle and ask questions. Each of you get one bottle of whiskey, and each time you pass a question, you drink a whole glass. When your bottle is over, you read out your woe. But this time, we’re doing things differently.”

Oh, no.

Xander smirked, and Jameson’s back straightened. Grayson’s eyebrow raising was the only sign of interest he showed.

“This time, we’re doing this in pairs. Choose your partners wisely.”

And then Xander extended his hand to Maxine, and Maxine took it.

They settled on the floor together, pulling one bottle of whiskey each and two slips of paper and pens.

“Well then, Heiress?” 

“As if I’m choosing someone else.”

Jameson took his place on the sofa, bringing with him the supplies to play the game.

That left you, and a certain Grayson Hawthorne.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Whiskey Woes in a group is pain, but in pairs? With Grayson Hawthorne? No. Just no. Someday, I’m going to kill Xander for this, because it’s not like Grayson had any other choice other than teaming up with me. Whiskey, a game, and Grayson Hawthorne? Recipe for disaster. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“Do I have a choice on not playing?” Grayson asked, and honestly, points to him. You don’t want to play a game with whiskey involved with him.

Xander smirked again. “Do you want to quit, Gray?”

Grayson stiffened.

“Oh, and another rule. If you don’t want to drink the whiskey and not answer a question, you remove an article of clothing from your body.” Xander continues.

Now, you glared at him.

“Sounds like you’re trying to mix in Strip Bowling.” Jameson said.

Xander shrugged. “I made the game, I make the rules.” Then he says your name. “Planning on playing? Gray’s the only one left, by the way.”

“Can’t I just drink without playing?”

“No.”

You sigh, getting up from your seat on the floor and moving towards the armchair Grayson sits on. 

He looks at you walk towards him, and you want to combust.

You extend a hand. “Partners?”

He sighs, sitting up straight in his chair before lifting one hand and clasping yours in a stiff shake. “Partners.”

“Great.” You sit on the floor again. “Now sit down.”

He looks at the floor distastefully. “Must I?”

“It’s either you sitting on the floor or me sitting in your lap. Take your pick.”

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── And you know what’s worse? I told him to either sit on the floor, or let me sit on his lap. I DIDN’T MEAN FOR IT TO COME OUT LIKE THAT, I SWEAR. IT SOUNDED LIKE I WAS GOING TO DO THAT SEXUALLY OR WHATEVER BUT SERIOUSLY, I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“Excuse me?” He doesn’t let you repeat what you said, though, sliding down from the chair and loosening his tie, sitting on the floor as though he’d rather be anywhere else.

He removes his jacket, throwing it on the armchair and rolling up his sleeves till the elbows.

You can’t stop looking.

“Done staring?” He asks, dryly.

You ignore him, writing your woe on the slip of paper instead.

I find Grayson Hawthorne hot. Yes. That’s it.

There. Something not too bad, but still suitable for Whiskey Woes.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Trust me. I’m not going for sexual. It just happens. And no, I’m not writing down what I wrote. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Grayson tries to get comfortable when he writes, one long leg bent with the knee upwards, and near his head. His hair falls over his face as he writes, the paper on the floor.

He looks devastatingly handsome.

He takes your folded slip of paper and walks towards the Bowl of Woe, depositing the slips in the bowl and bringing back two bottles of whiskey.

He pours his whiskey into a glass, to the brim, and uncaps your bottle to pour in your glass too. And then:

“You start.”

You scramble for a question, before you settle on one.

“Do you actually tango?”

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── I am embarrassment in a body ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“Excuse me?”

You blink once, twice, thrice before you look away, “Forget it.”

“Pfffft.”

His lips are in a small smile, which he tries to cover with his fingers. 

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── But tell me, Why. Is. His. Laugh. So. Hot. It wasn’t even a real laugh. Just a small pfffft and it was both cute and hot?? ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“Yes.” Grayson says, answering your question. “I’m assuming you get into tough situations a lot?”

You nod. “Now ask your question.”

His look is almost smug. “That was my question.”

“Did you know you’re almost cute when you don’t act like an entitled asshole?”

He drinks the whole glass of whiskey.

You blink. “That wasn’t a question but I’ll accept it.”

Grayson shrugs. “Everything’s a question.”

You don’t know how you ended up in your position around five minutes later. Around half of your bottle is empty, and his is almost over.

“Do you really have to ask such prying questions?” He asks, his eyes almost tired.

“Yes. My turn. Who’s the girl you kissed in Harvard?”

He frowns, taking a look at the bottle of whiskey.

Then he sighs.

You expect him to answer, but he doesn’t.

Instead, his long fingers move to his tie and removes it completely. He tosses it to the side. “One article of clothing.”

You hear Xander tut. “A tie doesn’t count, Gray.” And then the youngest Hawthorne downs a whole glass of whiskey.

Grayson’s fingers begin to undo the top button of his shirt, and he sighs again. “I absolutely loathe this game.”

It’s like watching a show. His long fingers unbutton each and every button before he removes his shirt and tosses it to the side.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── But then, guess what happened. He fucking removed his shirt. I will not tell him this, EVER. But Grayson Hawthorne has a slutty waist. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Journal Entry One ☆ Journal Entry Three

[dancinglikeaballerina]

KISSES, r. lupin

you didn't mind giving people kisses, it was your way of telling people you loved them. everyone had known that your love language was physical touch. there was only one person you got nervous to kiss. it was the one and only, remus lupin.

it wasn't that you were scared of him or scared of his scars, because god knows that you wanted to kiss every one of his scars. you were scared that if you did, you wouldn't be able to stop.

a kiss on the cheek;

you sat on the edge of the couch arm, listening in on james and mary's conversation. remus sat next to you reading a new book as always, barley engaging with his friends around him. he'd look up every now and then, but his face was mostly in his book.

"dove, wouldn't it be more comfortable sitting on the couch?" you turned your head to see who remus was talking to, before looking at him with your brows furrowed.

"me?" he gave a quick chuckle.

"yes you, dove, sitting on the couch arm seems uncomfortable. isn't it?" he placed his book face down against his legs, his arm extended placing it closer to your hip.

"i- sure, but it'll be a tight squeeze." you stood to your feet, walking a few feet. his eyes didn't leave yours.

"i don't mind being close to you." you gave him a quick smile before you sitting down, legs pressed against each other. you quickly placed a kiss against his cheek.

"thank you, remus." you said before turning to talk to lily.

"anytime, dove."

a kiss on the forehead;

you stood alongside the hospital bed. you were upset. how could he have not told you? you two were friends, were you not? did he not trust you? had you done something for him to think that? did he think that? did he think you were going to tell someone about him? you wouldn't, you would never do that.

your eyes scanned his friends who sat in the beds next to him before your eyes flickered back to remus again. you took a deep breath, before watching his eyes flutter open. "remus, are you alright? would you like me to get the nurse?"

"shh, dove, relax please." he quickly sat, groaning from the pain, before looking completely at you. he noticed the dried tear stains against your face, the way your lips were plummed from you biting them, or the fact that your nails were chipped due to your constant picking.

"relax, remus? you want me to relax?" you spat, your face had turned from comforting to mad in less than a few seconds. who did he think he was, to tell you to relax? "you were passed out! in the forbidden forest! and don't sit there and lie to me! remus, because i know."

"darling, please under-"

"no, i don't understand, remus. why didn't you tell me? aren't we friends? did you not trust me?" you could feel your heart beating out of your chest, like if it went too fast it might just stop. you bit your tongue, trying to hold back the tears that started forming in your eyes.

"dove, i do trust you. i- i just didn't know how to tell you. i didn't want you to look at me differently." his eyes scanned your face, he could see the tears starting to form.

"i would never look at you differently, remus. you are everything to me, i care about your well-being." you quickly slipped your hand into his, before giving him a genuine smile.

"thank you, dove." you quickly moved your face towards him, before placing your lips against his forehead. a wave of your perfume hit him in the face, and it wasn't that it was too much. it was that he hadn't smelt it in so long.

"i could care less if you were a goblin or an elf, remus."

a kiss on the nose;

you had asked remus to join you in the library so he could help you study. you really didn't need his help, you just wanted to spend time with him. it wasn't like he cared, he'd drop everything to spend time with you.

you stood by the front door of the library, waiting for remus to be in view. your lip was a bit swollen from you biting them. you scanned everyone before scanning the lengthy man, with his cream sweater and his books in hand. his sandy brown hair barley over his eyes. his eyes looked up to met yours before a smile was placed on both of your face.

"hi, remmy." you managed to spit out.

"hi, dove, what did you need help with again?" he barley had time to register what happened before you grabbed his hand and dragged him to a corner of the library.

"i was wondering if you could help me with the history project. i think i understand it, but at the same time i don't, you know?" his face was scrunched up, he knew you were excellent at history of magic.

"uhh, you need my help, dove, you're sure?"

"of course, remus." you quickly sat down, moving some things so you had room to write and such.

"alright then." he quickly placed his bag down on the floor against the chair, before grabbing the papers in front of you.

you watched as his eyes scanned the papers. you quickly looked away, flustered at the thought of being caught looking at him. was it weird that you were watching him? would he think it was weird?

you searched for anything to look at, before seeing another guy. your eyes scanned him up and down from his blue converse to his white turtleneck. you turned to remus again, who was already looking at you. he quickly cleared his throat, before grabbing one of the books. he may have placed the book too close to his face causing him to hit himself.

"shit-"

"oh remus, are you alright?" you quickly cupped his face, checking to see the damage.

"i'm fine, just hit myself is all." he quickly rubbed his nose, before his eyes flickered to look into yours. you quickly placed your lips against his nose, to kiss it better.

"there, now you're all better." you said, letting go of his face before turning to grab the book he had.

"thanks, dove."

a kiss on the lips;

you stood in front of remus, after a long night of being alone together. you had finally managed to find the courage to tell how you felt about him.

your eyes watched remus as the cigarette in his mouth, you watched as the ash began to build up. "are you only going to stare, dove" his head tilted towards yours, his hand dragging the cigarette out of his mouth.

"what? oh- no." you turned your head fast.

"do you want a smoke?"

"no i'm fine, thanks though." you debated if you should tell him, there was a possibility that he might like you back. "remus?" he answered with a hum. "i love you."

it went silent for a couple minutes, before remus looked at you fully again. the cigarette that was once in his mouth was gone. "no you don't, dove."

"i do, i love you, remus. i'm in love with you." he stayed quiet allowing you to speak. "i've loved you since we first met."

"y/n, you don't understand."

"if you don't love me, i'll leave. tell me you don't love me." you shouted.

"it's not that-"

"tell me." you demanded, he continued to argue with you. he tried to deny his feelings for you. "tell me! tell me, remus! tell me you don't love me! tell me and i'll leave you alone!"

"of course i do! of course i love you! it's hard not to love you! but i'm- i'm a monster!" he shouted "y/n, why would you want to be with a monster?"

"you're not a monster to me, you're just remus." you tried to keep the tears bottled inside of you, but they had begun to spill out.

"dove, please don't cry. i do, i do love you. i have loved you for as long as i can remember."

"remmy-" remus quickly cupped your face before pulling you into a kiss. it felt like time had stopped around the both of you. remus pride your mouth open with his tongue, allowing it to roam around your mouth. you quickly pulled away, catching your breath. "i love you, remus."

"i love you too, dove."

notes: i may have made this too long and i honestly don't know what is going on. i might fix it later on, anyways i hope you liked it. xxx

[undercoveravenger]

The Flower Patch

Pairing: Alex Claremont-Diaz x Male!Reader

Requested: Yes

Request: “Okay so since you are doing red white and royal blue can you do an Alex x male reader. He doesn’t have the best family so he’s always working at the florist shop And photography business. Alex being the amazing boyfriend he is starting to notice and just sets up something cute or just wraps him in his arms asking what’s wrong. (Also I don’t know if you remember but I requested that Hamish duke and sad reader request and I don’t think I thank you enough because I still read it sometimes. Long way of saying love your work and what you do)

A/N: Okay, your ask was so sweet I almost died. This dynamic ended up being so fun though! I loved this ask (and your last one too!) so if you’ve got anymore, feel free to send them my way. Glad my writing can make a difference for you ♥️

—--

In the year and a half since Alex and you had started dating, he’d quickly learned that you tended to hide out at the flower shop you worked at when something was wrong. The bright colors and sweet smelling flowers had always helped lift your spirits in a way that nothing else seemed to, so when he hadn’t heard from you in the past two days, he had a strong suspicion of where he’d find you.

Sure enough, he’s able to spot the back of your head over one of the rows of potted tulips as he makes his way into The Flower Patch. You’re slightly crouched, the sleek black camera in your hands directed at a bundle of roses, lilies, and babies’ breath in a crystal vase, clearly preparing to take another of the photos that decorate the shop’s website and social media.

“Excuse me, sir,” Alex calls out, a smile tugging at his lips as he stops to watch you, “Can you point me toward the love of my life?” He tries (and fails) not to snicker as you jump, startled by your boyfriend’s appearance.

“Not funny,” you say, but Alex can still pick out the slight grin twisting at the corner of your mouth. 

Alex hums, moving to stand behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. “A little funny,” he corrects, setting his chin on your shoulder and watching you work. He’d always been amazed at the way you were able to capture a moment with your camera, to frame your subject perfectly in order to freeze time. You were able to capture lighting and highlight textures in a way he’s never seen from other photographers, to make him feel like he could reach through the frame and touch the things you photograph. “Now, are you going to tell me what happened or are we just going to pretend you’re working on your day off just for fun?”

Alex can feel the way you tense against him, shoulders stiffening and knuckles paling as you clutch tighter to your camera. 

“Not sure what you mean,” you say and Alex knows you well enough to know what must’ve happened.

“Right, you were meant to be working today all along, huh?” He knows you weren’t. You always have Wednesdays off- that’s why they’d become date nights. So for you to be working today means that something must’ve happened that made you want to get out of the house and work was the easiest excuse. He knows you well enough to know that you don’t want to think about what must’ve happened if you’re dodging his questions the way you are. “Well, how would you feel about coming over after your shift? My mom and dad are going to be stuck working late, but you and I can take over the theater and have a movie night if you want? I’ve got all your favorite snacks?” Alex can’t help but smile as you relax back into him again, his heart warming at the pleased little sigh that escapes you. “Yeah,” you say, setting your camera aside and turning in his arms to tuck your head against the side of his neck. “Yeah, that sounds good.” As much as Alex hates what you go through with your family, he’s happy to know that you feel safe with him. That your escape had extended past your camera and the beautiful blooms of The Flower Patch to include him.

[xmissrogersx]

“Video Games” | Joel Miller

tags: Post-Outbreak. Jackson life. Domesticity. Fluff. Ellie being the cutest daughter.

my writing is entirely my own. Any adaptation and/or copy is forbidden.

i hope you are enjoying my stories! U help me a lot if you give me a ♡! All the love.

pris masterlist

A summer day was passing through the small community of Jackson. The trees provided a pleasant breeze that urged the children to play in the streets before going to school; and the flowers in the windows of the houses provided colors that made them forget the darkness of the outside world.

-That's all for today, honey —Maria peeked down the hallway.

-Are you sure you don't need me? I can stay and help you.

-Of course not, you covered a lot of time when I had to take care of my neglectful husband —she exclaimed, making us both laugh.

I grabbed my bag and walked out of the cozy little library and walk to home. Home. After so many years, i have a home to come back. I crossed the only street to see him at the end of the driveway, sitting on the front porch playing his guitar next to Ellie.

-Paris! Look... —she played a few light chords, causing Joel to look up with fatherly pride.

-I knew you'd make it.

-I have to go tell Lily —she got up and walked out as if his life depended on it, but came back to give me a brief but tender hug.

-Thank you for helping me with my literature homework, I wouldn't have understood a shit what the author was saying if it wasn't for you —and before I could answer she ran back to her friend's house.

Excitement was getting the better of me again as I tried to keep my eyes from watering. I turned to see Joel with his gaze locked on me, which was getting darker as his brown orbs swept over me. I bit my lower lip in provocation.

-Come here, angel —he patted his thigh and extended his hand.

Taking refuge in his strong arms, smelling his pine scent mixed with the slight hint of scotch, as I snuggled into his chest was the definition of what I enjoyed most about my day.

-How was work? —he asked, stroking my leg, lifting the fabric of my dress slightly.

-Just me and a stack of books. I love it. I helped a couple of guys look for one...¡oh!, and one girl wanted to read a story about friendship and adventure. Please Joel tell me if I'm talking too fast —I covered my face in embarrassment.

His laughter echoed in my ears, sending a shock through my body. Every time he laughed I recorded his melody in my mind.

-I could never get tired of listening to you, darlin’. And what book did you recommend her?

-Little Women. I remember when I was little I managed to smuggle it out of the QZ zone. It helped me forget about all the crap outside for a while. I'd pretend I was one of the March sisters, and I'd play Pilgrims and decorate the house for the holidays.

-You can do it now —I cocked an eyebrow at her response.-Ellie would like it. She loves everything you do together, and Maria could help you with the costumes.

I reached up to his face to place a kiss on his chin, cheek and forehead, and then our lips met. I wanted him to know that I adored how he protected and adored me day by day. And that I was his, today and always.

-Joel Miller, you old softie —I said, earning a pinch on my thighs.

-Do you want to know what you're doing to this old man by wearing that dress?

My lungs had run out of air in a second, despite the rushing wind. That's what Joel was doing to me. I nodded slightly, playing along. I put my legs on either side of his lap, and rested my hands on his chest.

I unbuttoned his shirt, and caressed the scars that adorned his torso, kissing them one by one, as I lowered my hand to the buckle of his pants.

-You're playing with fire, princess —he moaned softly, making me feel powerful as I saw the effect I was having on him.

The county had gathered in the movie theater, leaving the place empty. What an excellent coincidence.

[violetsiren90]

Blame Me: Chapter 1 | Jungkook/Reader

Pairing: artist!freespirit!Jungkook/noona!f!Reader

Genre: Best friend's younger brother; slow burn; friends to lovers; eventual romance; eventual smut; neighbors/childhood friends au; forbidden(ish) love; summer love.

Summary: Upon returning to your hometown after breaking off your engagement to your boyfriend of three years, you reconnect with your childhood bestfriend as you attempt to put the pieces of your life back togethe r. It seems like nothing has changed in the sleepy little town until your bestie's younger brother returns home from college - very, very grown. As the summer stretches on, the stakes get higher - can you play with fire without getting burned, or have you ignited a flame that won't be extinguished?

Chapter Warnings: All my fics are 18+ (minors, dni); allusions to an unhappy home environment/neglect; descriptive scenes of shared meals (the characters will eat together a lot in this fic, as it is part of a family dynamic); mentions of promiscuity made in jest; the accidentally-in-bed-together trope; brief panic attack symptoms; MC has some issues with guilt and feeling like a burden

Updates: When I can! Life has been crazy lately.

Author's note: This is so incredibly late in coming, and I really struggled with it for whatever reason (the initial inspo was there and then it just wasn't coming) but I am still excited to tell this story and thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to read it!

*Inspired by "Blame Me" by Monsta X 💕

In case no one has told you yet today, you are loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️ 💜

Tag list: @papijiminfeed @oopscoop @violeata @fancycollectormoon @fandomtales @booboobutt @jlee97 @lifeless-firefly @lovemepie67 @shaybtsforever @woomyteez @smutbangtan @raiu54288

If you want to be added to the tag list, comment or send me an ask to let me know!

You watched the shiny white Tesla that had been your Uber grow smaller and smaller down the long shady stretch of Tiger Lily Lane. You stood on the sidewalk, behind you the warm asphalt of the road and long shadows of the tall, sprawling elms, and before you your childhood home. It was a little grey house with a blue door and white trim, kitchen windows like jovial eyes, curved at the top, staring out over a lawn overrun with crabgrass and lined with bushes of pale pink roses that grew flush with the unpainted picket fence. The porch swing was beginning to show signs of rust, but the two little hanging pots of azaleas that flanked it on either side were blooming and bright. The windows and flowers seemed to loudly stare out into the street,  assuring neighbors and passersby of a happy home, but you knew better. 

You shifted your duffel bag on your shoulder and sighed. You weren't ready to go in. The house into which your family had moved when you were in the third grade had never really been a home to you. In fact, it had been a place you had left. By choice. Granted you had paid the occasional visit, by choice. Because visits were temporary. This wasn't a visit - and the moment you walked through those doors, you would be shutting forever a chapter of your life in which, as stormy as it had been in recent days, had rescued you from the one before it.

An ugly feeling that had been brewing in the pit of your stomach since the pilot had announced that your plane was starting its decent was making itself well known as you stood outside the gate of house number 9195.

A voice snapped you out of your nauseated reverie, and as you turned to see its owner, new feelings washed over you. Better ones. In the lawn of 9197 Tiger Lily Lane stood a pretty, slim young woman with a sharply cut, silky black bob. Her catlike dark eyes were bright and intense, her face bare but lovely, and her clothes simple but strikingly presentable.

    "Y/n!" she called again, her arms extended with open palms in a gesture of embrace and inquisition.

    "Jiah!" you shouted, dropping your duffel with a thud and jogging into the ungated yard where she stood.

    No sooner were you within arm's reach than she pulled you into a tight hug, swaying you from side to side as she pressed out of you, along with all the air in your lungs, a muffled laugh. Suddenly grasping you by the shoulders, she jerked you back so she could look at you. You grabbed her arms to steady yourself, continuing to gasp out bursts of laughter as you protested.

"Jiah, hold on! Woah! I'm gonna fall!"

    "Who cares about that! I haven't seen you since...oh my god, since the summer we finished undergrad, I think? How are you? Are you going to be in town for a few days?"

You looked back over your shoulder to where two bulging suitcases stood beside your abandoned duffel, then back to Jiah's inquisitive gaze.

    "It's gonna be more than a few days, Ji."

    She squeezed your shoulder as she cocked her head to the side.

    "Wait, are you moving back?"

    You mustered a weary, uncertain smile.

    "Surprise!" you offered weakly. Her smile faded, lips drawing into a pensive purse.

    "You haven't even been in there yet, have you?" she asked gravely, her eyes searching yours, hand still on your shoulder. You shook your head, lowering your gaze groundward. She sighed.

    "Alright, c'mon," she said suddenly, marching toward your pile of luggage.

    She grabbed the duffel and tossed it at you, wheeling the other two bags up the driveway behind her.

    "You're coming with me for now. We have some catching up to do."

You didn't protest as you followed her over the threshold of the Jeon household for the first time in a long while.

    Linen. Every house has its very own unique scent - one that draws you into its aura, for good or ill, and wraps you in all of the memories and feelings it has afforded you; it can take you back to a moment in time, and who you were in that moment, unmistakable and fleeting - a smoke ring of a portal to a previous reality. Jiah's house smelled like linen. And lilacs? Something floral, but even more delicate.

You inhaled deeply, closing your eyes as you stood just inside the door. The sick feeling in your stomach began to shrink. Every muscle in your body began to soften. You could hear the laughter of years ago. You could feel the bubbly schoolgirl giddiness of slumber parties under forts of sheets. Movie nights with cartons of takeout. Summer afternoons laying in the grass and tossing lazy wishes up at puffy white clouds. 

    "Y/n? Have you even been listening to me?"

You opened your eyes and blinked at Jiah, who was standing in front of you with two bottles of grapefruit IPA and a look of mild annoyance.

    "Sorry," you offered with a sheepish smile, slipping off your shoes, and traded the duffel in your right hand for one of the beers in answer to the question you had missed.

You followed her into the living room and plopped down next to her on a pretty white couch you didn't recognize, taking a long, wheaty swig from your bottle. She folded her legs up under herself and turned toward you, fixing you with earnest, expectant eyes. You raised an eyebrow quizzically.

    "Well, aren't you gonna tell me?" she pressed.

You smiled to yourself. Always so direct, Jeon Jiah. Even with half a decade stretching between this moment and the last you spent together, things were the very same. You were the Libra - the dramatic, messy one. The one with a heart full of dreams and a head in the clouds. She was the Capricorn with the strong sense of direction and the practical perspective. You always seemed to be in a quandary and she never failed to have a hard take on the situation. You sighed, taking another long sip of beer.

    "Have we really talked at all since freshman year of undergrad?" Jiah shook her head.

    While you had fought like hell to get out of Bellpond - even if it meant chasing your father's dreams of law school instead of your own - Jiah, who desperately wanted to join you in New York, had set aside her own longings to attend a local college while helping the family store survive the recession. Telling her the truth of what happened was going to be painful. You chewed on the inside of your cheek, trying to transcend the assumption that what you were about to say would let her down.

    "It was a guy, wasn't it?"

You shot wide eyes up at her, mouth agape at her sudden interjection. 

"What?" she pressed with a shrug as she sipped her own beverage,

"That's always what it is with you."

    You blinked, trying to form some sort of protest while failing to find any evidence in memory to counter her claims. You settled for a rueful smile and a huff. 

    "I guess I always have had pretty terrible taste in men," you conceded.

    "Pretty terrible?" she pushed, her face pinching into a comically overt censoriousness. "It's like your number one turn-on is red flags!"

    "Hey!" you rebutted, launching yourself at her shoulder in a playful shove, and sloshing her beer in the process.

You froze in panic as she glanced down at her dampened cardigan, and then at you.

    "Oh, shit! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

You jumped up and backed away, holding your hands outstretched in front of you as she stood up and slowly and menacingly advanced toward you. 

    "This is my favorite sweater," she hissed in a whisper.

    "Jiah, I didn't mean too, I'm sorry!" you whined, manic laughter punctuating your words as you backed around the coffee table.

    "It has lady bugs on the bottom," she hissed again, eyes narrowing as she raised the right hem to gesticulate at the embroidered insects in question.

    "And they're very cute," you placated, hands still raised in self defense. "Look, I said I was - Aaahh!!"

    She lunged at you mid-sentence, and you shrieked, tripping over your own feet in an attempt to flee and you toppled, one after the other, in a heap on the plush carpet. Before you could find out if your friend was in fact as strong as she had been in high school, the front door swung open and a familiar voice filled the room.

    "Jeon Jiah, get up off the floor and help your imo with all these damn groceries! I had to - AHHHH!"

    You looked up at the figure in the door as she let out a high-pitched squeal of delight. She was a petite bombshell of a woman in her early fifties, who, had you not known otherwise, you wouldn't have pegged for a day over forty. Bright and expertly executed makeup adorned her features - softer and rounder than Jiah's. Her permed dark hair was pulled up in a colorful bohemian wrap, and she wore compression pants, neon orange Nike's, and a crop top with a print of Joan Jett flipping the bird. She had dropped the bags of citrus and apples she had been carrying, sending the fruits rolling across the floor.

    "Aebeolle!" She shrieked, running forward, and bending down to pull you up by your armpits into a half-stand so she could crush you in a hug. 

    "Rosie!" You propped yourself up on your knees so that you could wrap your arms around the tiny woman's middle.

    Imo to her niece and nephew, she was Rosie to everyone else. While Jiah's mother had been the responsible one, staying out of trouble, and working in the family store after school, Rosie had been the wild child. Smart as a whip but with no patience for the system, Rosie had dropped out of high school at seventeen and jumped on a tour bus the following summer as the groupie of a grunge band. She hadn't looked back until Christmas Eve of 1999, when her whole world was shattered by a phone call.

She had taken the next flight back to the hometown she had promised to never set foot in again so that by Christmas morning she could have her niece and nephew in wrapped her arms. She left behind her life in the fast lane to take over running the Jeon's store and raise her sister's kids in their family home. 

She had been there for you, too. On those nights you climbed out of your window, a backpack slung over your shoulder stuffed with clothes and a toothbrush, to tap softly on their front door. On the following mornings she had filled your stomach with warm, hearty dakjuk and fluffy slices of milk bread, and let you watch cartoons as she worked out the knots clinging to your neglected hair. She offered the warmest hugs, the softest words of direction, and the loudest cheers of praise. She had always called you "aebeolle" which was Korean for "caterpillar", and she had always given you the nurture you needed to survive. If she hadn't, you weren't sure where you would have come by it.

    "What are you doing here? You finally paying us a visit?" she asked, clapping her hands to your cheeks.

    "She was about to tell me about how some guy wrecked her life. Again."

Jiah interjected, earning herself a smack on the shoulder.

    "Jiah, you brat!" Rosie chided, as she helped you to your feet.

She glanced up at you through fake lashes.

"You really do have the worst taste in men, though."

    You sighed in defeat.

    "Ugh, you two," you blustered, "Where is Jungkook when I need backup?"

    "Headed this way, for the summer, actually," Rosie remarked as she collected the fruit strewn across the floor.

    "So he decided to slum it, huh?" Jiah huffed, "I thought he was going to Ontario, or wherever the heck that last girl he met at that festival was from."

    Rosie shrugged, shaking her head with a smile.

    "I've lost track," she chuckled.

    You blinked.

    "Wait, wait, wait...are we talking about the same person?" You asked, holding a hand up in disbelief. "Jungkook. Your little brother. Tiny. Shy as hell. Looks like the weight of his head is gonna topple him over. Bunny rabbit teeth....is a lady's man?"

    "Well, not strictly," Rosie hummed, hoisting a bag of produce onto the counter. "His sophomore year in Paris there was that one guy...what was his name?"

    "Taehyung," Jiah offered, shedding her sweater and draining her beer.

    "Right, right," Rosie nodded. "I liked him. Too bad."

    Your mouth hung open. Jiah wrinkled her nose.

    "You're gonna catch flies that way," she remarked sardonically. 

    "I...I just cannot believe what I'm hearing. Jungkook. In my mind he will forever be the tiny gremlin I have to keep bailing out of trouble."

    Rosie smiled. Jiah scoffed.

    "Well, he's still a gremlin, if you ask me," she sniffed, chucking the beer bottles in the recycling bin.

    "When does he get back?" You asked.

Rosie shook her head as she divided the groceries between the cupboards and the fridge.

 ��  "He's on his bike so, barring any unexpected stops - which are definitely not out of the picture - he should be here in the next couple of days. Probably by the weekend."

    You nodded, still trying to wrap your head around the newly acquired image of you and Jiah's childhood tag-a-long. Rosie approached you with a picture pulled up on her phone.

    "Look at him," she said with a smile, sliding the device into your hand.

    You blinked at the picture on the screen. There he stood - much taller than you remembered - a girl under each arm, filling out a pair of ripped jeans, a black tank, and an ascot. A fringe brushed the tops of his eyes, while the top half of his dark waves were bound back in a little bun. His right arm was covered in tattoos. He was grinning from ear to ear, with that same toothy smile you had committed to memory.

   "That's just crazy," you murmured, shaking your head, before handing Rosie's phone back to her. 

    "He's going to be thrilled to see you. I think he has a lot of happy memories from when you three were kids just banging around town together," Rosie remarked as she continued to sort the groceries.

    You smiled to yourself. You certainly did. You glanced at your bags by the door.

    "I guess I should get going," you murmured without conviction.

    "Not yet, not until I've fed you," Rosie responded, not skipping a beat as she began to pile the ingredients for bibimbap on the kitchen island.

You smiled to yourself. Rosie to the rescue, as always.

    "Okay, if you're gonna twist my arm," you sighed dramatically as you pulled up a stool on the other side of the kitchen island, followed by Jiah who grabbed the carrots and a peeler.

    You reached for a huge zucchini squash and knife. Jiah shot you some side-eye.

    "You're not getting out of telling us about the big debacle, you know. Time to 'fess up."

    "Yep, spill," Rosie concurred as she prepped the rice cooker.

    You heaved another sigh. Might as well get it over with, you thought. But for some reason, the words stuck in your throat, unable to come out. You looked at your hands, shaking as they tried to steady the knife over the squash. You couldn't do this. Not right now. Not yet.

    You let the knife clatter to the cutting board and scrubbed your hands over your face. 

    "Y/n?" Jiah asked, leaning over to look at you, "Are you okay?"

    You drew your hands from your face and looked up at her with tired eyes. She and Rosie had traded their teasing glances for expressions of concern. You gripped the edge of the counter to stop your stupid hands from trembling.

    "It's really not a fun story, you guys," you said slowly, trying your best to sound casual, "You're not missing out."

    Rosie reached over the kitchen island to clasp your hands.

    "No worries, aebeolle. We can talk about it some other time. For now, just stick to slicing up this zucchini and forget about that other one!"

    She shot you a wink as she cracked open a tupperware of marinated beef.

    "Imo! My god!" Jiah protested with a grimace as you and Rosie burst into a fit of giggles.

    It was all laughter and shots of soju and teasing Jiah about being a prude until you were gathered around the table with steaming bowls of goodness in front of you. Rosie closed her eyes and threw up rock-on signs with both hands.

    "May Stevie Nicks bless this food," she murmured before snapping up her chopsticks to snag a mandu and pop it into her mouth.

    You took a heaping bite of bibimbap, your whole body relaxing as the flavors and warmth returned you to a simpler time. Another wave of nostalgia washed over you as images of three little hungry kids fighting over the last piece of fried chicken replaced the scene before you. Your eyes wandered to the empty chair beside Rosie. There was a missing piece in the picture of comfort you had always found in the Jeon residence - a missing piece in the shape of round head bearing a pair of giant doe eyes that would light up when he'd win and water-up when he'd lose, and little short legs that ran faster than the longer ones, and a bright smile that was all innocence and central incisors.

You smiled fondly as long-dormant memories continued to appear like little spring flowers of the mind. Jungkook had perfectly completed your little trio, because though Jiah was your best friend, you and he had always understood each other in a way that came so easily. You didn't mind that everything brought him to tears, or that he invested himself so earnestly in even the smallest of his joys. You also didn't find it annoying that he wanted to tag along with the big kids, or that he hated being called a baby despite practically demanding to be treated as one. You knew in a way Jiah would only later realize that he was caught between wanting to grow up too quickly and not at all. It was the same battle between longings that waged war in your own heart, along with so many others who in some way had to raise themselves.

    "How's the oi muchim?" Rosie's question roused you from your reverie.

    "Amazing, like everything," you answered, waving your chopsticks over the spread of banchan.

    "I made it a little spicier this time," the older woman said, sampling the cucumbers again herself. "Trying to get these staples just right before the new place opens."

    "New place? Another store?" You asked, helping yourself to more sukju namul. 

    Rosie's eyes shone, a proud smile tugging at her lips as she gave her answer.

    "A restaurant, actually."

    Your jaw dropped.

    "You're finally doing it!?"

    Rosie leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, nodding at her niece.

    "It's all Jiah's doing. She's taking care of all the logistics, I'm just figuring out the menu."

    "Well, if you need help, I'm in between gigs at the moment," you added eagerly.

    Rosie clapped her hands and wiggled in her chair.

    "We would love the help! We've only just started hiring some staff. So far there's one person to wait tables and someone running the kitchen."

    Jiah let out a huff. You quirked an eyebrow in her direction, and she appraised you with a look of wistful discouragement.

    "Too bad you can't cook, or I'd boot him out tomorrow."

    "Who?"

    "The chef," she sneered.

    "Speaking of, Jiah-ie," Rosie remarked over the food in her cheek, "How is Seokjin doing these days?"

The older woman chewed back a poorly concealed smirk as she glanced up at her niece, whose lips curled scornfully.

    "One day, I'll kill him, I swear," she grumbled, shoveling rice into her mouth as if she was punishing it with every bite.

You glanced over at your friend, then at Rosie, who wiggled her eyebrows as she took a sip from her glass.

    "Seokjin...not Kim Seokjin?" you asked. 

    "Yeeeeep," Jiah affirmed bitterly.

    "He's a cook?"

    Rosie nodded.

    "And darn good at it. The only thing he's better at is pissing off this one right here," she remarked with a smirk as she gestured toward her glowering niece.

  You smiled to yourself as Jiah started off on what would likely be a lengthy rant at the young man's expense. Seokjin, or Jin, as he was more commonly known, had attended the same small high school as you and Jiah. In a body of four-hundred students, everyone had played a well-known role - and while she had been the straight-laced valedictorian, he was the class clown. Natural enemies who found the other beyond comprehension, the bulk of the ire had always been on Jiah's side, while Jin had seemed to find her as amusing as he did inexplicable. The concept of the two of them attempting to run a business together was the stuff of sitcoms.

His ongoing feud with Jiah notwithstanding, it didn't really surprise you that he had tucked himself into the Jeons' life. His father owned most of the agricultural land in the surrounding area, and with his older brother having been slated since birth to take over the family empire, Jin had enjoyed a freedom of direction that found him often seeking out the phenomenon of being needed...and people always needed a laugh. But laughter is momentary, and Rosie, having the heart for strays that she did, always provided something more permanent.

    "So now we're probably going to have to keep Jungkook at the store, because you know how they get when they're together," Jiah tiraded on.

    "They don't get along anymore?" you asked, a bit crestfallen at the thought. 

    "The opposite," Rosie chuckled, "You put them in the same room and those dorks turn into a couple of puppies. They broke the back screen door roughhousing last Chuseok. Plowed right through it."

    You snickered at the thought.

    "But Jungkook is darn well gonna contribute while he's here," your friend asserted as she stood to clear the table, still on her agenda about the restaurant launch, "Not just cruise around finding pretty people to sketch between make-out sessions."

    Rosie waved a hand dismissively.

    "He's always willing to pitch in. But it's summer, and he's young, so don't you go all drill sergeant on him." 

     Jiah scoffed.

    "Sure, it's summer, but there's a lot to get done between now and opening, and -"

    "AND," Rosie interrupted, "I expect you to have some fun as well, young lady! Especially now that Y/n is back. You two better do a decent amount of carousing."

    "Carousing?" Jiah asked with a grimace, directing horrified eyes in your direction.

    You let out another laugh.

    "She's got a point, Rosie. I don't think anyone has caroused in quite some time."

    Rosie rolled her eyes, crossing to the sink and running the tap.

    "Well," she rejoined, undeterred, "Whatever it is they're calling it these days, you two better be doing plenty of it! Give your imo some fun to live through vicariously, why don't you?"

    Jiah shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest.

    "And, you," she said, pointing a sudsy wooden spoon in your direction, "Should just stay here for the night. Take Jungkook's room. Then you can rest and be ready for...you know. Tomorrow."

    You accepted the invitation with very little hesitation. It was a relief, and Rosie knew. She had always known. You shot a text to excuse your absence that you doubted was actually necessary and lugged your things down the hall and into the last bedroom on the left.

    The rest of the night was spent stuffed onto the little couch with bowls of ice cream while the three of you shrieked and slapped each other's arms and kick your feet watching reruns of The Golden Girls. It was nearly midnight by the time you slipped under the sheets of the full-sized mattress in the smallest bedroom.

    Though your eyes were heavy with exhaustion, you couldn't help but glance around at the walls and shelves, filled with scented candles, and action figures, Polaroids, and an incredible number of charcoal and graphite sketches. There were drawings of buildings, trees, cars, and people. And though there was little variation in color, the vitality and emotion that sparked along each line drew you from piece to piece. Your eyes drifted over a particular drawing - a girl's lower face - the tip of a nose, lips slightly parted, and her chin tilting upward. It might have been the delirium of your tired mind, but something about it seemed familiar. You stretched for a recollection just out of reach as you slipped past memory and into slumber.

    Weight. The first thing you registered as your mind began to again become aware of its physical trappings was a heaviness. At first your hazy consciousness likened it to blankets, then to the heaviness of a sleep without dreams...safety...security...

    And then something brushed the skin of your stomach under your shirt, drawing a hum out of you as your eyes fluttered open, and what they saw had you frozen in place. An arm. A large, muscular arm covered in dark ink was snaked around your waist, hand slipped under the hem of your sleep tee.

    Fight or flight mode suddenly triggered, you snapped up and pushed yourself away from the body attached to the limb, letting out a shout as you kicked your legs, and only catching a glimpse of dark hair and grey sweatpants as the intruder rolled off the bed and hit the carpet with a loud thud. You jumped off the other side of the bed before you could think, tangling your legs in sheets that brought you tumbling down onto your ass. Before you could thrash free of the bedding, a groaning figure peered with large, dark eyes from the other side of the bed. Dark, wild waves framing his sleepy head like a halo, and wide, round eyes still bleary with sleep, the young man passed tattooed hand over his mouth to wipe the remnants of drool away as he blinked at you from across the room.

    "J...Jungkook?!" you choked out in surprise and confusion, struggling to your feet.

    "You kicked me..." he groaned, his features taking on an injured look as he stooped to rub his thigh.

    "Why...when..."

    "Imo told me to wake you up for breakfast," he pouted.

You scrubbed your hands over your eyes. Same damn baby-faced expression. Huge, bulky man. With tattoos...and a lip ring? This Pokémon had leveled up. Maybe twice. And that was all your brain could register as your heart rate descended from two hundred beats per minute and the heavy fog of an interrupted sleep cycle began to dissipate. You tossed the sheet back onto the bed, and as your eyes flicked back to his face you noticed his had dropped a little lower. Registering with horror that you were in a thin cotton nightshirt with nothing underneath, you snatched up the sheet again, clutching it to your chest. What the fuck was happening?

    "Rosie told you to wake me up, so you decided to spoon me?" You asked incredulously as your embarrassment quickly morphed into agitation.

    Jungkook's eyes widened as they flew up to yours, seemingly caught off guard by the edge in your tone.

    "No, noona...it wasn't like that!" he said, standing to his full height, his brow creasing defensively.

    He was pretty fucking tall. His white tee and grey sweats did little to hide the fact that he was also pretty fucking big. Exasperated by these unbidden acknowledgements that had your brain buffering, you snapped a little again.

    "Then what was it like? You had your hand up my shirt, Kook!" 

    Your voice had unintentionally softened at his nickname, and he caught it, biting back a grin as you hugged the sheet over you just a little more snugly. 

    "It was kind of your fault, noona," he smirked, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. 

    You shot him a quizzical and unamused look.

    "I came in here to wake you up and you pulled me into bed. You kept calling me someone else's name...and..." he giggled, "'Baby', and you kept insisting we sleep for just five more minutes."

    You gaped at him in horror.

     "You pulled my arm over you," he continued, now a bit smugly, "And I had literally just woken up, so...being so comfy...well, I guess I fell back to sleep with you."

    You could feel the heat in your face. You had a history of pretty intense sleep talking, but you hadn't experienced it to that extent in years. You considered that you must have slept deeply as you stammered your apology.

    "Oh my god, Jungkook...I'm so sorry - that's horrifying - I didn't mean to..." 

    The younger man just laughed in response, breaking into his signature luminous smile. His eyes glimmered.

    "Didn't mean to steal my bed, demand cuddles, and then beat the heck out of me?"

    You let out a sigh.

    "Sorry."

He nodded, a little smile still tugging at his lips.

    "I accept your apology for the bruises...but not the cuddles. Those were nice."

    He threw a wink over his shoulder as he headed for the door, and you tossed a pillow and a string of expletives after him as he jogged, giggling, toward the kitchen. Still flustered and a bit thrown, you changed into real clothes before joining the others in the breakfast table. Rosie was placing mayak eggs alongside the piles of bacon and pancakes as you pulled out a chair next to Jiah.

    "You slept well! You must have been exhausted," Rosie remarked, handing you a mug of coffee.

    "Yeah, must have," Jungkook quipped with a smirk as he snagged three strips of bacon.

    You shot him a warning look as you stabbed demonstratively into a stack of pancakes, but his grin only deepened.

    "I thought you weren't supposed to be back until the weekend," you addressed him coolly.

    "Mm," he took a sip of orange juice. "I actually wasn't really supposed to be back until next week. I expected to head north to see a friend but she ended up being out of town, so I just came straight back."

    "A friend, huh?" Jiah crooned patronizingly, as she twirled a fork in his direction.

    Her brother nodded.

    "The same one you were talking to on the phone very loudly when you came in last night?"          

Jungkook scrunched his nose, sticking out the tip of his tongue in her direction.

    "Wow," she drawled, "How very adult of you. And for the record, friends don't call each other 'baby'."

    Jungkook snickered, glancing at you again before he mumbled, "Some friends do..."

    "So, Jiah - " you practically shouted, as you turned toward her in a desperate bid to change the topic of conversation, "You gonna show me the new place today, or what?"

    "The restaurant? If you let her drag you out there, she'll put you to work and you'll never be seen again," Jungkook hummed over an entire egg that he had pocketed in his cheek, casting teasing eyes up at his sister, who smiled back wickedly.

    "You know, Kookie, it's just so good to have you home! We needed someone who puts in those gym hours to do a bit of the heavy lifting." 

    Jungkook flashed another smile, puffing his chest and massaging his pectorals as Jiah feigned a gag.

    You chuckled, and Jungkook grinned as he tucked into his pancakes.

    Watching the two of them bicker and catch up, you realized that things felt a bit more whole again - familiar, if different. You considered that maybe the three of you could all fall back into stride. Maybe this summer wouldn't be so bad after all.

    After breakfast you gathered your things to head next door. You tried to slip out quietly, to avoid Rosie stalling you any further, but Jungkook caught you as he was coming around from the garage, an oil towel in his grease-stained hands.

    "You leaving?" he asked with a tinge of disappointment.

    "I can't over-stay my welcome," you shrugged, smiling wryly.

    His face took on a serious expression.

    "You know you're always welcome here, yeah? It's good to have you back," he pressed earnestly.

    You nodded, touched because you knew he meant it and that the other two members of his family shared the same sentiment. Jungkook wiped his hands on the towel casting a look over at the house next door. 

    "You staying there?"

    You nodded. His brow creased and the corners of his mouth turned down.

    "Okay. You can come here whenever."

    "I know," you said softly.

    His eyes looked worried and uncertain. You dropped your bag and pulled him into a hug. 

    "It's so good to see you again, Jungkook-ah," you murmured, dropping your head against his chest.

    His arms squeezed around you in return. He had always preferred to talk with his body instead of his words. Every playful punch, or little shove, or squeeze of his hand carried a message. This one meant it was good to see you too.

    As you waved goodbye you counted the Jeons' welcome among your blessings - not everything you had left behind would be so welcome to recall. But, life hadn't left you with many choices. So you began the long walk to the house next door.

-End Chapter 1-

[gods-graveyard]

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___________________________________________________________ Me asking for Betas, but make it a cat for emotional manipulation

MORE INFO-

My current works include-

"Ill Never Wear Your Broken Crown" Plot summary- Fix it AU w/ Slytherin Morally grey Harry trying to navigate the extended HP world and survive the constricting fate tied to "the boy who lived" Ships- Percy/Oliver/Marcus (ask about the rest due to spoilers) Length- Currently at 80k but planning to cover every book, realistically this will probably end up a stupidly long fic which is exactly why I want someone to bounce off of and keep track of all the strings im lining up. Need- Someone to bounce plot points off of, due to this being an AU a lot of canon is changing and while I have established a lot of change there are some things that remain murky and I would love help in ironing them out ahead of time

______________________________________________

"Rose covered Graves" Plot summary- The Rosier twins own a mortuary/funeral home. Barty is the son of the sherrif and decides to intern there as rebellion/an escape from his "fate" but of course falls in love. Lots of supernatural funky stuff and bending the laws of reality, and might lean very heavily into crime drama genre. Ships- Barty/Evan, James/Regulus, Remus/Sirius, Dorcas/Marlene and Pandora/Lily (Rosekiller and Jegulus being main while the rest are background) Length- Short fic for my standards so under 100k, for now im aiming at a max cap out of like 50 but knowing myself that might spiral Need- Keep track of ships make sure everyone gets their moment to shine and charecterization/foreshadow stays consistant rather than gimicky

SO YEAH- Trying to keep this vauge so the post isnt stupidly long but you can absolutely dm/comment asking for more info and im very open to negotiations depending on what you are down for!

[queen-rainy-love]

Updated Pure Lily Family Tree

You know what? Let's do an update on the Pure Lily family tree since we've finished the last arc! But this time...in Cookie Run Comic Studio!

First off, let's start with the Vanilla Siblings!

(Please ignore the baby.) So starting with these three, we have Premier Custard Cream, Vanilla Sugar, and Pure Vanilla. I know before I stated that Vanilla Sugar was the younger sister...but I did changed it to where she's the middle sibling. I thought that this would be more hilarious if I ever get to making content with Pure Vanilla and Vanilla Sugar interacting. And let's remember that Premier Custard Cream is no longer around and that Vanilla Sugar has no children.

Going to the eldest Vanilla child and his family. (Again ignore the baby PCC is holding). Premier Custard Cream has his son, Custard Cookie (or if you want to be slightly rude, Custard Cookie the Second). Custard WAS married to Light Cream Cookie of House Scone. They are now divorced and co-parented for their sons. Their sons are Clotted Cream Cookie and Custard Cream Cookie (Custard Cookie the Third if you may). Clotted Cream is Consul of the Crème Republic.

(Light Cream sprite made by Comic Creator user Dogshenpai)

Here's the Pure Lily family! Pure Vanilla and White Lily Cookie were never officially married and have a total of six children, Madeleine Cookie (born as White Vanilla), Red Velvet Cookie (born as Red Vanilla), Clover Cookie (born as Clover Lily Cookie), Knight Cookie (born as Marble Cookie), Lilybell Cookie, and Cream Puff Cookie. How they got this many children is a story on its own. Heir to the kingdom is Madeleine.

(Red Velvet sprite was made by Comic Creator user Affogato_Cookie.)

Let's look at White Lily's family! White Lily is the second oldest sibling. Her eldest brother is Millennial Tree Cookie, the leader of the Grass Village and the guardian of the Great Tree. Her younger sister is Blue Lily Cookie, head of the protectors of the Grass Village. Blue Lily does not have any children.

Finally, here's Millennial Tree's family! Millennial Tree only has one child, his son Wind Archer Cookie, who protects Millennial Tree from outsiders. Wind Archer has two sons, Herb Cookie and Whipped Cream Cookie. Whipped Cream was adopted into the family.

And that is the updated version of my headcanon AU! Now, this is only on both sides of the Pure Lily family tree! This does not include honorary family, extended family of spouses, or even partners of certain Cookies. If anyone asks about these relations, I would be more than happy to explain. Thank you for reading this very long post!

[mybworlds]

Chapter 5: Lessons of trust

Pairing: The Hound x Sansa Stark

Summary: the Hound teaches Sansa how to use a sword, but all they’ll do is argue...

Chapter Warnings: language, violence, blood, almost sexual violence, small description of a rotting corpse

Masterlist

Before to start... thank you to follow me, if you want to be tagged in the next chapters, please let me know! This is the longest chapter I’ve written so please take your time for reading. if you want to ask me smt you can write down here or you can inbox me.

Thanks @vase-of-lilies for the banner

"The sword must be an extension of your arm!" the Hound repeated to her.

Sansa did not know whether to call herself crazy for asking Clegane to teach her how to use the sword or to congratulate herself on the beautiful and useful idea, but most of all Sansa was surprised at how the man in front of her had agreed almost immediately.

"NO! By the Seven Damned Hells, not like this!" he blurted out looking at the wrong position of the young woman's arm "Like this." he told her by going close to her and extending Sansa's arm slightly outward, his movement was firm, but extremely gentle "It's heavy." commented Stark making to take the weapon with both hands "You have to use one arm only, two would only weigh you down. For quick combat, you wouldn't give more than two shots." he said.

"Please be patient with me. I have never used a sword, I was taught that there are knights for that, I did not think there would come a time when..." her voice choked in her throat and Sansa lowered her head.

He called himself crazy for agreeing to teach Sansa Stark how to use a sword, how did he come up with that?

For the seven hells!

He laid a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up at him for the briefest of moments "I know, little bird, you've been sung so many good stories, but the world is not as the storytellers tell it."

She with her head down nodded "I just wanted to-- I'm just a stupid little girl who was taught stupid and useless things."

He felt a motion of pity, an unknown pity for her "You're a little girl educated to be a ruler, but you're not ready to live in the world. The real one, I say. Not the golden one of castles. Although after all, all this gold isn't even there, it's just a fucking world of appearances, a world where you play at who has more power, who can anticipate the moves of their opponents. Your world, the world you come from is a world of power games. My world, on the other hand, is one of blood, sweat, thirst for revenge and justice. And it is the real one. They are two totally different worlds.

I cannot and will not learn anything from you, but you can learn from me." and it was true, what could she possibly teach him? To make embroidery and lace? To use pretty words?

No, that was definitely not his world.

Sansa looked at him for a very brief moment: she was still too intimidated by those dark eyes and the man's burns; she knew how brave and strong he was with a sword, she should have felt safe, but he still could not convey peace of mind and trust to her.

How could anyone trust a man who killed those who had been his soldiers for money?

Sandor Clegane huffed and shook his head, "Winter will come before you can sustain my gaze. But after all you must watch how I move, certainly not my face! You don't look at dogs because they are beautiful, but because they can fulfill their task.

Mine now is to teach you what I know about the sword. And now let's not waste any more time and resume, which foot do you use the most?" he asked her impetuously approaching her.

"The right one." replied Sansa, backing away just barely, startled by that quick movement.

"Well, if someone attacks you raise your left arm," he continued making her raise her arm, "you block him and use his strength against him. You are small so wait for him to come closer, then push the sword into his body to the hilt if necessary and wait." he added looking straight into her eyes, into those frightened innocent blue eyes.

"What?" she asked.

"Let life leave his eyes." the man replied to her a short distance from her face, Sansa swallowed and then wrinkled her forehead "Don't hesitate, or you're dead." added Sandor moving away from her "And then it would all be wasted effort on my part as well as yours." having said these fateful words, Sandor barely moved away from her and the two resumed their training.

The two trained until almost sunset, then they set out again when the sky was now plunged into darkness. Sansa was exhausted, yet she vowed not to complain: she had already shown too many weaknesses to the man beside her; she did not want to give him further cause to be taunted.

The night birds slowly appeared, some chirping above their heads, others in the distance, the shadows gradually became thicker and more numerous, the river gurgled to their right, a few stones rolled as they passed by on either side of the small hill on which the two marched. Sansa thought for a moment that she found herself in one of Old Nan's eerie stories, only what the girl was experiencing was not a fantastic story with eerie folds, it was real, and it was horrible: Sandor was right, the world is not like the one sung about in the courts. There was nothing spectacular or compelling about what surrounded them.

If anyone had ever sung about the affairs of Sansa Stark, probably no one would have wasted their time in devoting more than a few words to her, they would have surely laughed at her: she did not feel brave, she did not feel valiant. If someone had for real told the story of the two wayfarers, Sansa thought, they would have focused on the massive figure of Sandor Clegane, the man with the half-bruised face endowed with great strength and courage, who disdained the title of knight while acting like one.

Stark seethed as she thought back to the song about Florian and Jonquil, how much nonsense she had been told to protect her and make her believe that her life would be full of love, lavish ceremonies, and lots of laughter. Her life was a nightmare, it would never be like one of those ballads.

"Have you lost your tongue, little bird?" the Hound suddenly asked her.

"No." she answered simply, however she gave no further explanation about her silence, how could she explain to someone like him, to a man who disdained ballads, knights, princely behavior, what she - a noblewoman - was feeling at that moment?

"Then why don't you sing? I remember you owed me a song," the man reminded her. It had only been a few days since they had left King's Landing, but to Sansa it seemed like months, she had forgotten the Hound's request.

"I don't know any songs anymore," she answered him simply.

"You mean it only took you a few bloody days to forget your beloved ballads from your storyteller friends?" he sneered at her. Sansa lowered her head did not answer, she just wanted to remain silent and hear the noises that livened the forest during the night.

"All right, as you wish we remain silent," he finally surrendered.

They walked for two days and nights, and on the third day Sansa found herself praying that someone fighting for the Starks would stop them and take her to her mother and brother, but that did not happen.

"Come." her traveling companion told her, taking her by the girdle and getting her off his horse, "Let's rest for a while here." Sansa saw the place the Hound had chosen: it was a two-story wooden house, the door had been torn off, the windows broken, someone had been there before, and surely - according to the man - no one else would come to such a place.

"Wait here." he ordered her as he entered with his sword drawn to check the interior "There is only one corpse, but it will have been dead for weeks, it stinks." Sansa swallowed "Take off that scared look, dead people are dead. I'll take it out and then you come in." the body was decaying, it stank, Sansa was forced to put a hand over her mouth and nose to keep from breathing in the death-pregnant air that made her feel very nauseous "Come, princess." said Clegane. Sansa looked around, everything was abandoned, the few pieces of furniture inside had fallen or overturned, dust permeated the air of the small cabin, the girl looked toward Sandor "I'll go find a hare or something else to eat. You stay here." he ordered her "And don't let anyone see you for any reason in the world, understand?" Sansa nodded and the Hound walked away.

The young woman took the opportunity to fix her hair with her hands and looked at her beautiful, now worn-out dress, sighed and thought that she would give anything to be in that place at least with her sister Arya, she would know what to do, she would even accompany the Hound to hunt the prey! Arya had always been a sharp little fellow, small, quick and above all always ready for action. Anytime, anyhow. Lace, nice clothes, good manners had never been her thing.

The two sisters looked nothing alike, one had inherited the red hair of her mother from the Tully household, the other had brown hair, the first was submissive, sweet and naive, the other always curious and above all always in the way. The first was sweet and honest, the second very clever and above all quick with words and especially with the sword. By a twist of fate, Sansa found herself going through adventures that her sister Arya should have gone through.

What had she thought of running away with the Hound?

Sandor Clegane could hardly stand her: he had been teasing her ever since he had seen her, he was always asking her for songs and calling her 'little bird,' moreover-knowing how fearful Sansa was, he often asked her to look at him, which she still could not!

The young woman quickly looked around and noticed a sword, the handle was blackened however she noticed two small dragons entwined with each other, the blade was different from the ones she had seen so far in both Winterfell and King's Landing. She turned it over in her hands and at that moment the man came in with two bowls in his hands, they looked at each other for a long moment then he noticed the weapon in the girl's hands and said to her, "Put that down before you can cut yourself or worse!"

"I'm not a child, I know it's a weapon and that it's not a toy!" the redhead reminded him.

"Give me that sword," the Hound told her.

"No, I'm keeping it. I found it."

"Stop acting like a spoiled little girl." he blurted out, setting the bowls down on the table and snatching the weapon from her hands "Only for a few days you've been learning how to use these weapons and this ... is a ... peculiar sword, I don't think I've ever seen a blade so thick and so dark." the man commented.

"Why did you take it away from me?"

"I didn't take it away from you!" he answered her annoyed "Here's your sword, little bird, just stop whining."

"I'm not whining." she replied as Sandor returned the heavy sword to her "It was just a clarification."

"Sure, sure. Now sit down and eat." he said, handing her a bowl containing chicken.

"Where did you get it?"

Sandor did not answer, he took to biting into the chicken with great voracity "Shit, I should have taken a flask of wine too!" he blurted out when the chicken leg was almost finished.

"Did you steal it?" asked Sansa contritely.

"What was I supposed to do? Ask to give me two chickens? With what money?" retorted Sandor shushing Sansa "Could you just say thank you instead of criticizing everything I do?" he added annoyed.

"You are the one who never wants a thank you!" she reminded him "If I tell you, you curse, if I don't tell you, you tell me I should tell you!" she blurted out, leaving the sentence in the void.

"Better a thank you than so many useless words! How would you have eaten tonight, mh? Nobody gives you anything for nothing, the sooner you understand that, the better it is!" he replied giving her another pearl of wisdom.

"You and I will never get along. You are rude, arrogant and ... a thief." she stated lapidarily, then biting into the last piece of meat.

He looked at her for a long time before replying, "But I am the only one who is taking you home. Where is that pretty little flower you like so much now, Loras Tyrell? Why did you follow me then?" Sansa fell silent "Despite my ways, I'm the only one who bothered to get you out of that fucking cage, that's why, little bird." he continued and then resumed eating.

Silence came between the two.

The moon was high in the sky and brightened the entire forest and the rocky expanse in front of the house at which Sansa and the Hound had taken refuge; she stood on what could barely be called a bed; it was hard and squeaked with every slightest movement she made. She tossed and turned in bed. She felt dirty, what she wouldn't give to take a nice hot bath and then to drink cold milk to relax herself!

Since that exchange of words had taken place, neither he nor she spoke again, both of them thinking about the words the other had addressed to him, Sandor, for his part, was not offended, he had spoken his mind, he had helped her escape from that lion's cage in which she was being devoured piece by piece. He knew what it felt like to have everything ripped away from him, first his flesh, then the love of others, to follow property and finally even his name, he knew what it felt like to become a shadow of himself and in her, he saw himself again in a way, he saw again what he had been as a child: an innocent and defenseless creature.

His brother, Gregor, had ripped away first the flesh and then the gaze of everyone around him, no one looked at a boy with a face as ugly as he had, no one, not even a whore, even to them aroused horror. Sandor would not let anyone rip the soul out of Sansa Stark, not a sweet, good, innocent, idealistic little girl like her.

He laid an arm under her head, and thought again, I am better than Gregor, than that monster. He would have already raped and killed her, but I will never touch her, I will never hurt her. I will never disrespect her!

Sandor turned back to the bed on which the little bird was lying and noticed that the position of her body was stiff, she was not sleeping, she was pretending to sleep, the reason for which she was not sleeping, Sandor ignored, but he preferred not to ask what was going through that pretty little head and turned away using his own arm as a pillow and straining to sleep, he closed his eyes.

Sansa, she thought, who had said those words because deep down she meant them: the Hound was a man of manners too arrogant, too scurvy, too fierce for her. However, she had freely chosen to follow him, had seen in him, in that man, a glimmer, the one and only possible way out. The two could never have gotten along, not even in a hundred years!

She remained with her eyes closed, but listened to every single noise, every creak, every rustle, at the slightest footfall she jerked, she trembled, she feared that a Lannister soldier or a shadow panther might kill her at any moment despite the Hound's strong presence.

"Little bird, sleep." a voice, the Hound's, admonished her "You must rest or tomorrow you will not be able to hold on Stranger. You are a too delicate flower, and the slightest difficulty may break you, so sleep."

Sansa turned to him caught in the act "Forgive me...I - I.... I...I don't..."

"Stop babbling bullshit, close your eyes and go to sleep!" the man scolded her.

Those words shook Sansa and at the same time outraged her deeply, why did the man who was only a few years older than her not understand her? Why did he not put himself in her shoes?

Was it really so difficult to understand how she felt?

The next morning when the girl woke up she noticed that Clegane was not there: he was already awake.

She got up and watched the first shy lights of dawn illuminate the surrounding landscape, everything was tinged a pale blue, Sansa breathed hard and closed her eyes, prayed to the gods that they might sustain her through this other day and give her the strength to reach her home in the North.

She went downstairs, the steps as she passed them squeaked conspicuously so that she was afraid for a moment that those might break and cause her to fall. She stepped outside the small house and saw the Hound near a tree with his back to her, he turned his gaze downward, Sansa took a few moments to realize what he was doing and turned away feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment. Shortly thereafter she heard a rustling sound and ventured to turn her head again toward the man's direction, Sandor Clegane was making his return.

"Good morning!" she greeted him.

He responded to her greeting with a grimace that made horribly contract the burned half of his face and he made to get over it, but then reconsidered, "If you have to...piss, I suggest you to do it now!" Sansa blushed even more "And take off that always embarrassed look! Hurry up we'll be on our way again in a bit!" he barked.

"Could you be a little bit nicer? Does it cost you so much?" scolded Sansa.

A true Lady never gets angry or raises her voice, that had been taught to her. Sansa breathed deeply and went on, striving to maintain a calm, controlled tone of voice, "Please give me a few minutes and then we can continue."

Sandor twisted his mouth, assuming a grotesque expression, but he did not add anything else; he simply walked past her as he entered the small, badly tumbledown house. Sansa - she told herself - would never meet her needs at that tree, never. She did not want the Hound to see her!

She turned for a moment behind her and then advanced along the rocky expanse, she would look for a tree a little more secluded and especially hidden from the sight of the man who, Sansa was sure, was watching her. The girl stumbled several times and even risked falling a couple of times, but eventually managed to reach a tree far enough away from the house and its windows.

As she was adjusting her skirt, Sansa heard some voices and gripped by shame and fear that someone else was nearby and might see her, she hid behind a large bush of what looked like nettles and saw them: there were six of them, they had a banner representing a tree and three snakes entwined around it. Sansa did not remember to whom that crest belonged, however, she remembered seeing it once in the library of Winterfell when as a child-a single time-she played hide-and-seek with her sister Arya. 

The men must have been messengers of this household because usually, when there was a Lord or a Lady these would move with a large army to protect them. The reason why they were there, Sansa ignored and did not care. She made to turn back, but in retreating, she stepped on a twig that snapped under her weight and the men of unknown lineage began shouting phrases such as "Who goes there?", "Show yourself!", Sansa turned her back on their voices and took off running, she was now in danger and what she had to do was to flee.

The girl, however, had never been particularly fast, so a few steps and the men caught up with her, shouting, "Stop, bitch, where do you think you're going!" Sansa was thrown forward and lost her balance, hit her head first against a small stone and then against a log, the young woman's head began to spin hard, she was bleeding where she had hit her head, she saw six faces surrounding her and towering over her.

"Who are you?" someone asked her, but someone else exclaimed laughing "I think we’re about to have fun!" others laughed too, someone else retorted "But there's no taste, she's more dead than alive! I don't fuck a half-dead woman!" Sansa groaned in pain, where was the Hound, she thought.

"Little bird." someone called her, but Sansa could not answer, one of those soldiers pressed a hand over her mouth and said, "So you're a bird! Well, let's see if you will entertain us." Sansa took to screaming at that one's hand, she felt a pair of hands touch her violently and come down on her bare legs, they were lifting her skirt ripping it off, no gods no, no please... she found herself begging Sansa, have mercy on me, she wanted to scream, but she couldn't.

Her heart was beating fast in her chest from fear, she tried to kick and managed - she did not know how either - to strike the one who was touching her in the face, he immediately left her bringing his hands to his nose, for a moment the one pressing his hands over her mouth left her and Sansa cried out for help, she made to turn around and get back on her feet, but she was grabbed again and a third person slapped her so violently that the girl had the fear that those gestures might tear her skin off, "Bitch, come here, now I'll teach you manners! " shouted another voice, she was so stunned that she felt as if she couldn't even see anymore, she felt her corset being ripped off and she was pushed on the ground again; she felt someone touching her with the same violence as before, he was scratching her breasts and Sansa felt... dirty, terribly dirty... slowly she started to see again and saw the man's face: it was a mask of hatred, perversion and wickedness.

When she felt the man's fingers touching her in her intimate area, she heard a cry that sounded like a howl, then a figure pounced on the man who was violently touching her, threw himself on him and Sansa was able to breathe almost normally, she did not see what happened because she closed her eyes: she was too shaken to observe.

The Hound had thrown himself on the first slaughtering him, caught the second dropping him to the ground, put his foot on his chest and pierced his neck with his sword, with the third and fourth he duelled simultaneously holding both of them head on and coming out victorious, the fifth and sixth fled. Sandor Clegane in another circumstance would have chased them down and stabbed them against a tree perhaps, but he let them live not before he saw their banner, what the fuck were those from the Land of Aryas doing there? Hadn't their lineage long since died out?

He turned to Sansa: she was in a pitiful condition, her face was redder than her hair, on her cheekbone, under her nose and at one side of her mouth there was blood, her robes were torn. He took his cloak and threw it on the girl who groaned in terror as she opened her eyes; when she realized it was him, Sansa relaxed imperceptibly and threw her arms around the Hound's neck, he did not push her away or have for her words laden with reproach or mockery, he simply let the young Stark embrace him for a few minutes, then lifted her by weight bringing her back to the sort of home they had found the day before.

Sansa did not speak for the next few hours, she was deeply shaken by what had happened, she felt...small, helpless, but most of all dirty, this was not how she had imagined being touched by a man! The Hound made her lie down by making her hold onto the cloak he had given her, and she wrapped herself in it, "I must find a way to treat you, wait here." he told her, she had heard him, but did not reply. She heard only the man's heavy footsteps moving away from her and found herself thinking that her septa, but also perhaps her own mother were wrong about love and knights: knights had done this to her, the one she believed to be a king had had her father and her septa killed, knights are not the ones who are in shining armor, knights are not the ones in ballads.

Sansa felt mocked and wept, wept until she fell asleep.

When she opened her eyes again, she saw the Hound fiddling with bandages, probably stolen from somewhere, and a small wooden basin with water in it. Sansa looked at the Hound's tired, dirty, ruined face; he was bad-looking, but he was taking care of her.

Was this perhaps a true knight? Sansa wondered for a moment, to later remember how much he hated knights and their whole golden world, the Stark could not help but think that that hatred was due to his brother who had taken everything from him and violently taken the title of knight.

She saw him dip a bandage into the water, barely squeeze it and press it against her cheekbone, Sansa jerked, and he exclaimed, "Be still, or you risk turning into a pumpkin!" she looked straight into his eyes, those gray eyes that were in turn watching her and slowly beginning to make her less afraid. She then pressed on her nose and more gently on her swollen lower lip another bandage.

The Hound felt a strange and unfamiliar pity for the little girl in front of her, he intended to protect her from everything, but he had failed, he had failed miserably and all because of his own fault, his own distraction, he had failed in his purpose. True, he had saved her, but now the young Stark was in front of her in terrible condition, she didn't even look like herself anymore, that delicate little bird with the always sweet and kind words, she was silent and bore wounds she never wanted to see on her.

He had been a fucking idiot to think he could take care of another person outside himself, he was absolutely incapable of it, he told himself.

They did not speak, they said nothing to each other the whole time, she just looked at him, did not reply, had neither sweet nor sharp words for Sandor Clegane. He shrugged off his cloak with surprising delicacy for such a mighty man, she did not take her eyes off him, and the man thought that if looks could cause ice to melt, well the Stark could! For the first time in his life, he was feeling uncomfortable looking at the maiden's slender body, that body that had already been beaten and reddened many times, that body now again battered by the scratches of those beasts.

“May I?”

Sandor completely moved her corset away and handed her the wet bandage on the scratches in the furrow between the small breasts of the Stark, she closed her eyes for a moment and lowered them: she did not have the courage to look in the face of the man who was almost silently taking care of her and who was touching her with a disarming delicacy.

She clenched her lips and looked at the great hand of the Hound, once that man frightened her, once she even feared his size, now? She still didn't know for sure, but surely it was no longer the fear she felt towards him when she was in King's Landing, when served Joffrey.

The water burned on the wounds and Sansa moaned softly and then again found the courage to look her savior in the eyes, Sandor did not return her gaze, she observed the half face of the man's that had been irreversibly burned and felt ... pain? Mercy? Compassion?

“I make you sick, right?”

The Hound looked up at her feeling observed, Sansa blushed and her face a little for the wounds and a little for the embarrassment turned red like fire. “N – no.” she replied stammering.

“Don't lie, remember I smell the lie, little Stark!” reminded her “Is your gaze not of regard, or am I wrong?” he said.

Sansa's heart began to beat even louder in the chest “What do you say? I look at you because ... because ...” didn't know what to say, why was she observing him with such intensity?

“I’m all ears!” he added as if to sharpen the discomfort she felt.

“Stop embarrassing me!” she replied looking him into his eyes.

“So, you feel uncomfortable? Why? Why did I touch your tits or why am I too ugly to do it?”

Sansa moved the man's hand away and covered herself at the worst, he had offended her.

“How dare you?”

“Is the little bird used to talk to knights like that queer of Knight of Flowers? Well, you know how I speak and what I do, and if I do something, I do it not because some fucking law require me to! And if you love the rules they taught you as a child, it's none of my business! Since we are forced to be together for this time, I suggest you stop recovering continuously because I don't change for a young lady from the North who venerates knights and gods! Above these rules I piss on!” he ended getting up and moving away from her, just before leaving the room she warned her “Settled, in a while we set off again!”

Sansa shook her head: the two of them would never get along, never.

[turvi]

Hello its me again😄 and Really loved your Work with Severus Snape And I hope you can Make me one again

For my request can You please write a one shot to young Severus snape and to his slytherin girlfriend who nearly kills the marauders because she was an Assassin before and she got put of control when she see that severus has so many bruised into its face

Like after she beat them up Lily will shows up and attack the Reader so she fought back and broke some of her bones and after that severus will call her a monster which she really hated the most and she was like broke up with him and Severus immediately regretted what he just said so he will go after her and apologise to her.. Can You make is so Angst and Super in The End.. Thank you Keep up the Good Work(^o^)💙

Art credit - @reiketsunomizunomegami

Severus Snape x fem!Reader

"Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth" your mentor Mr. Williams instructed you.

You did as he asked it calmed your nerves. He has been teaching you to fight ever since you were a little kid. You don't know who your parents are but you have known Mr. Williams as your teacher and father.

You opened your eyes to see Mr. Williams looking at you with pride. He extended his hand to help you get up. You accepted his help with a bright smile and got up and dusted your pants.

"Let's walk and talk shall we?" he asked his proud smile still intact as we walked around the courtyard.

"How is your school?" He has been ecstatic about your education as he got to know you are a witch and got an offer letter from Hogwarts when you turned 11.

"It's good I made new friends, they are really.... interesting" you blushed remembering the time you met Severus.

"Which house were you in?"

"Slytherin," you said pride filling your chest.

"Hmm, you look like a Slytherin," he said "So any special friends I need to scare off?"

"No.... not yet"

He stopped walking and looked at me with a stern face " So you really love them?"

You couldn't help the smile that spread on your face. That's how your relationship was. He could read you like an open book where you could just try.

"I can burn the world for him"

He recognized the fire in your eyes and the passion in your voice. He might not be related to you but he could somehow see himself in you.

"His name?"

"Severus Tobias Snape" your heart fluttered. You are only human.

He nodded his head and chuckled lightly "I hope he shares the same passion because here you are ready to burn your world for him and he may not even want to look your way."

You nodded your head in understanding "I understand Mr. Williams"

"Get ready in 10 mins or you will miss your train and your lover." he said with his signature smirk

-------------

Severus sat in his compartment waiting for you, looking out the window and searching for you.

"Looking for my girlfriend are you Snivellus?" James Potter and his gang welcomed themselves into his compartment.

"Uh-no I was-

"Uh- ah oh, stop mumbling you greasy git" Sirius interrupted him.

James and Sirius started ganging up on him.

"Wanna see a magic trick Snivellus?" James said waving his wand.

Before Severus could even move a muscle James cast Immobulus on him. James and Sirius laughed at him.

"Lily come here love, see how pathetic he looks" James called out to Lily.

She came running to the compartment they were in to see James and Sirius standing beside a very stiff Severus.

"Lily I'll make him pay for calling you a mudblood"

-------------

You didn't see Severus the whole day and you were worried. You didn't usually like jumping to a conclusion but James threatened that he would harm Severus.

As you looked through the corridors of Hogwarts you found Severus sitting under a tree and reading a book, his eyes puffy and bruises littered his face.

You ran towards him and fell on your knees. It broke your heart. James did it, he finally did it. You almost couldn't recognize Severus.

"Severus" you tried hard not to sound broken but failed.

"Leave me Y/n"

Tears finally left your e/c eyes for a person who promised to always show strength and power here you were on your knees in tears looking at the defeated look on your lover's face.

"Please Severus let me help you"

"Leave me alone you monster"

You winced. There was that word you hated the most. Growing up people called you a freak, or monster just because you looked different. Severus knew how much you hated yourself because of that word and for him to call you that just because you were trying to help was crossing lines.

You stood up wiping your tears "I love you Severus and always will, but this is too much, as much as I care about you I don't want to be with you anymore."

As you were returning towards the corridors you could hear Severus sobbing and it took away your whole spirit to not run back to him and hold him.

Right now you had to take care of something very important.

--------------

Severus was going to the hospital wing for another dose of healing potions for his wounds although right now he needed you more than ever.

He realized he was wrong, it was going to take a lot of work to get you back but he was willing to take all the effort since he was the one who broke your heart.

As he entered the hospital wing he noticed familiar faces on the hospital beds. James, Sirius, and Lily lay on the bed with their fractured limbs.

Madam Pomfrey noticed him standing by the entrance. She walked towards him with a somber look.

"They say Y/n did this to them, she will have to report to Dumbledore for this kind of behavior, I understand Severus she was angry that they had hurt you but that didn't give her a reason to get violent with them."

Severus looked at her as if she offended him, his eyes were bloodshot tears dripping down his cheeks "Oh, what would you suggest she would have done, complain to the professors? Just tell me honestly Madam how exactly would that have gone."

Madam Pomfrey knew how many times before Severus went to complain to the professors and how terribly it always went as she was there to mend the fresh wounds on him. She looked down at the floorboards

Giving the group a last look he left the hospital wing with his heart more broken than before. He searched the corridors finding himself in the similar position you were two days ago.

He looked everywhere but couldn't find you. This could mean only one thing. He quickly left Hogwarts to find you.

-------------

He took a deep breath and opened the wooden. There you were sitting in the garden that you and Mr. Williams built. You showed this place to him just a month ago. It was one of those days where he was bullied by James and the gang day by day they were getting aggressive with him.

You told him how you would always come here when it got too much. How James bullied him sometimes reminded you of the times you got bullied on. How boys would disgust with the idea of being seen with you let alone dating you. Which led to them calling you a monster. You told him here how Mr. Williams taught you to fight back but also taught you patience.

You told him here how much you love his eyes, his wit, his rare smile, but most importantly you loved him just because he was Severus Snape the only fact he was bullied upon.

He looked around the garden to find the flowers you both had planted the next day so that he could feel as included as you did. It was not the variety of beautiful flowers that made this garden special for him though, it was you.

Ever since you came into his life he does not feel like a changed man but he feels like for you he could be a better man.

He closed the distance between you two and sat down beside you quietly. Both of you didn't speak for a few moments until he broke the silence.

"I have no words to explain how sorry I am but let me explain how much you mean to me"

He shifted in his seat slightly to look at you, and he took your hands in his cold ones.

"I have loved you in a way I never thought I could not only you made me believe in love but made me believe that I could love Y/n"

You finally looked into his onyx eyes that you always found beautiful. but you were still hurt by his words. and took away your hand.

"I know what I said hurt you deeply Y/n please give me a last chance"

You nodded your head "Ok, but last chance"

He smiled and kissed your cheek "Promise"

@reiketsunomizunomegami I hope you like this. Thank you for the request

[gumpistol]

hc + moon

         luffy & zoro — the sun & the moon

   this became less of a headcanon in the end and more of my own self-indulgent character analysis, but the first thought that popped into my head when I saw 'moon' in relation to luffy was "oh that's zoro — he's luffy's moon." where luffy is an obvious depiction of the sun, so much so that he wields a sun god's devil fruit, zoro is his opposite in many ways, as the moon is opposite to the sun.

   in literature and folklore, the sun is a symbol of warmth, energy, heroism, joy, life, and an uncontrollable force, all of which are characteristics that luffy embodies ( regardless of how much he doesn't want to be seen as a hero ). in contrast, the moon is frequently seen as a symbol of guidance, wisdom, passivity, calm, and devotion. yes, guidance and wisdom at first glance are not key characteristics that people would use to first describe zoro, but more than once he has acted as an advisor to luffy, providing his own version of guidance and wisdom to his captain when filling his role of trusted first mate.

   that being said, where luffy is full of energy, zoro is usually calm and low energy, and where luffy is the uncontrollable force that does what he wants, fights what he wants when he wants, zoro is content to go with the flow and follow whatever luffy wants to do. and of course, there is no one quite as devoted to luffy as zoro is. 

   frequently in mythology and folklore, the sun and moon are also depicted as deities closely associated with each other in some embodiment of a close relationship. in fact, a common theme includes the sun and moon traveling the world together, but at some point getting split apart ( to explain the concept of night and day ). this is something seen in luffy and zoro's partnership a lot as well, whether due to getting separated during an arc to fight their respective battles, or in the case of their separation after marineford, where we even see the day and night symbolism depicted in their respective locations apart from each other: luffy's presence on daylit amazon lily and zoro in perpetual night time on kuraigana island.

   at the end of the day though, the sun always illuminates the moon. even when separated by the earth between them ( in the case of lunar eclipses ), the sun's light manages to refract onto the moon through the earth's atmosphere. in the same way, even when physically separated, luffy's warmth and light still inspires zoro to fight for him, and the knowledge of zoro's cool reliability in return is a reminder to luffy that he doesn't have to worry about his number two or the others when focusing on his own all-out fights.

   anyway yes, if you made it this far, thank you for reading my little extended metaphor essay~

@chatcambrioleur / hc + a word prompt

[missgryffin]

You are a terrific writer, Eternal Summer being my fav. I just discovered tumblr recently and can’t wait to ask you some(many) things.

I know ES is a SMUT fav but the character development, tension, emotions that it invokes with respect to friendship, love, and small plots is fantastic as well. I believe the only part which I hoped to have skipped is James relationship with Adelaide, hahaha. Also, I feel Eddie is very perceptive; he probably realized Jily chemistry before most and two instances that stood out to me 1) him breaking up with Lily 2) bringing Lily to James after the attack.

I was sort of disappointed that James had no clue of Lily’s struggle of feeling out of place until he talked to Eddie. For someone in love with Lily was he that oblivious to how she felt about being at Hogwarts amongst the growing tensions?

I would love to read a prompt about how James finds out from one of the girls about Lily considering to leave Hogwarts at the end of sixth year in midst of blood purity tension while James is still ignoring her. Something on the lines of “she said is it worth coming back next year and what (or who) for”

Hi, thank you so much!! 🥰 Re: your disappointment, I'll explain my perspective below the cut:

Keep in mind that ES is being rewritten, so some details and sequences surrounding the Adelaide storyline are changing, but here are my thoughts based on what I remember from ES 1.0 and my view/intention of the story.

To start, I want to clarify that James's conversation with Eddie is primarily about her dynamic with Adelaide, not blood purity tensions as a whole. James knows Lily faces overt bullying and harassment from blood purists—he's comforted her multiple times by this point in the story, so he of course knows it weighs on her. But he also knows that Lily is confident, strong, self-assured, and incredibly stoic about it all. She doesn't want to be seen as a victim, and James doesn't see her as one either. She fights back, she's sassy, she's popular and successful in school, she holds her own. There's no question in any of their minds (Lily, James, their friends, Eddie, the wider social circles of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw) that Lily (and all Muggle borns) belongs at Hogwarts for her magical abilities and deserves to be there as much as anyone. James especially has great respect for her and is unequivocally on her side against their common enemy of Voldemort supporters.

What James doesn't know about is the underhanded, subtle bullying that one of their own Housemates is doing to Lily—and that's what Eddie opens his eyes about. Adelaide is a character foil to Lily. She's a textbook mean girl, and it's a very backhanded kind of mean girl, not necessarily overt. Adelaide's not hexing Lily in the hallway, she's gossiping and lying and being catty and trying to steal Lily's man. And when she's not doing it in front of James (because she wants James to think highly of her), and Lily's not saying anything because she doesn't want to give Adelaide the satisfaction of knowing she's angry/bothered, there's no reason for James to know that kind of stuff is going on. He's not a mind-reader, nor does Lily expect him to be.

The Adelaide arc is also about James's loyalty as much as it's about Lily's struggle with jealousy and dealing with a sneaky mean girl. We know the importance of loyalty to James from canon, and Adelaide is a blind spot for him. She's in Gryffindor; their parents are in the same social circle; they have history together. He's sort of automatically extended his loyalty to her as a person on his "side" and once that's his status quo, it's even harder for him to see her as a perpetrator. James expects Slytherins to be cruel, but he doesn't expect girls in his own house to treat Lily poorly. And it's not that James is/would be in denial about it if shown proof—it's that the thought literally doesn't cross his mind until the proof is shown. Eddie breaking it down for James (and then Lily opening up to James about it) is that "proof."

The importance of this for James is to understand the deeper layer of psychological warfare going on. He gets the first, overt layer of fighting Slytherins—he participates in it. And I think he's even aware of the "mean girl" dynamic amongst girls to an extent when it's purely about dating/jealousy. But Adelaide's conflating the two in a way he didn't realize was happening because she was doing it in that mean girl way when he wasn't around.

And wrt Lily's feelings, I think it's important to highlight the difference between Lily feeling something versus a mean girl making her feel something else. Meaning, ES!Lily's default is to feel like she belongs. She doesn't feel like an outcast. She feels like a person on the side of a war where all her friends are too. From the very first time she learned about magic from Severus, she felt welcomed in it—he enthusiastically brought her up to speed about the magical world ("You've got loads of magic"), and then she made friends and became popular at school, and became one of Slughorn's known favorites for her skill and charm.

(This is also why, while I appreciate you sending a prompt, I don't feel a connection with this particular one. Given my interpretation of the state of the war in ES and my characterization of Lily, I don't think she would have considered dropping out of Hogwarts. I actually think she feels very safe there because the atmosphere that Dumbledore, McGonagall, and the other teachers have fostered (not to mention her friends and wider social circle) is that the Slytherin/Voldemort supporters are not only in the wrong but are very much the minority. I see seventh year—when Voldemort's priming his young recruits for exiting Hogwarts and encouraging acts of terror—as a turning point where Hogwarts itself starts becoming more dangerous.)

Of course, the reality is that there is still a lot she doesn't know simply because she didn't grow up in that world, but most people in her life (her girlfriends, Eddie, even James and Euphemia, in the meeting in Dumbledore's office) are naturally kind and patient with explaining new information to her. But Adelaide does the opposite—she actively tries to undermine Lily and make her feel bad about herself, much as the Slytherins do. It leaves Lily feeling a lot of anger and resentment, plus, because Adelaide has history with James, there's jealousy woven in there too. But because Lily's a strong, stoic, confident Gryffindor, she's also too proud to let Adelaide know that Adelaide's succeeding in getting under Lily's skin, so she puts on an extra brave face when dealing with her.

All this ultimately leads to Jily growing closer because Lily finally reaches a point where she fully opens up to James, so they can talk about the deeper insecurities and issues Adelaide's presence and actions have created between them, and ultimately come out of it as an even more united front than before.

[oliversrarebooks]

Okay, I may have binged this all of last night and today and I think I may be ObsSEEESSSSeeeDDDD!!! 🤩🤩🤩 The differentiation of the different types of Thralls, the way you've written Lily (and still makes her likeable even though SHE'S SO QUESTIONABLE??! 😂), and then the fear and desire in being a Thrall. I don't understand how you seem to be able to convince the reader of the hypnotism - and I'm like - yep, I won't feel anything - AND YET the way you write these feelings, the Thrall you put me in as a reader?? Like, wow!! It makes me want to be a Thrall for a vampire like Lex and I'M - I -... My brain stops functioning because it sounds so kind, so nice, and I'm nodding along like "yes, please - I want that too"

I'm curious - if you want to share! How did you find the way you write the hypnotism? As in, was it a specific influence, personal experience? (I went to a hypnotist for my own anxiety and my friend did for their arachnophobia!)! But reading this still feels so real and sleepy-making. ALSO seeing how Lily approaches three different victims (Oliver, Emily and Fitz), and peirces through what they need to hear is unnervingly touching, like, in such a way that makes me swallow with fear. Genuine, how-the-f did she work that out, what they needed to hear to fall, what words that sparked their hopeless weakness? So another question... How long does Lily need to truly analyse someone? What input does she need?

Like, also I love how you introduce those different ways of hypnotism! Like Lex, Fitz and Lily all having their unique ways to them! I ADORED that Oneshot of Lex's ideal way of including Oliver - it tugged at my heartstrings a bit. I may have fluttered when I read that Lex had sought and intended to have Oliver all along... I - I... My brain lost it.

And having Emily (poor Emily -) I literally gasped when I saw horrible vampire girl (I have literally just forgotten her name) Jessica? // had Emily and I'm like "NOOOO MY BABYYY WAHHH SHE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS". also how you wrote their individual ways of responding to influence? Like!! I love the inclusive but realistic take on how some people are susceptible to it more than others in a very human/realistic way - like a indistinct trait or behaviour about someone that makes them unique. Like,, does Oliver's price *increase* because he's easily susceptible? (I think this was hinted at but I'm not 100% sure!! ^^ but if this is a mystery that you would like to be kept secret then don't worry! ^^)

I also love Oliver's tendancy to slip out of it. That was such a nuanced and masterful way of adding that 'layer behind the service/the reader is kept rooting for you' and it's so awesome.

Are there other vampires like Lex (apart from Fitz!) who have this same attitude and care for humans? Will we meet them? Will we have an occasion where this is shown... 👀 I'm soooo soooo curious for a Oneshot on this or SOMETHING but this is literally just a scenario so I can daydream about this... I may have already...

Anyway... While I did my best not to spam your inbox with excessive reblogs and me foaming at the mouth, I had to leave this to you as a token of my extended and desperate love for your writing and beautiful, exciting world.

Your humble reader,

Enigma 🙏💐🤗

Wow, thank you for such a super long comment! It's always great to get something like this in my inbox! I'm so glad you enjoyed my writing enough to write this all out!

How did I find the way I write hypnotism: Long-time special interest of mine, you could say. While I sometimes try to incorporate actual hypnotic trance techniques, it's mostly pulled from ASMR videos and fantasy.

I'm glad it's fun and even a little enthralling for readers!

How does Lily analyze people? Since she's a supernatural creature with a special enthralling power and I'm not writing from her POV, I get to handwave it a bit! I think her powers give her an assist on analyzing the best way to enthrall people. Other than that, foreknowledge of the victims plus cold reading.

Most of the people grabbed by the auction house are scoped out before their kidnapping, so that they don't risk grabbing someone risky (i.e. has friends and family who will come searching for them). So she has some up-front info, plus she's good at reading people. Oliver's induction was mostly drawn from the fact that he's known to be a meek and quiet bookseller, Emily's is drawn from having lived in poverty, and Fitz's of course is based on him being an attention-starved entertainer.

Generally, Oliver would be considered more desirable (and command a higher price) for being easily susceptible to hypnotism. Easier to control and for the vampire master to mold to their will.

As for other vampires who care for humans as far as Alexander does, there definitely are some in the setting. I'm not sure if we'll really see any, but if you have ideas of what you'd like to see in a one-shot, feel free to shoot it into my inbox! (Just be warned I have a six-car pileup in there. I'm planning to get to them... eventually.)

Thanks again for this lovely ask!

[sacredsnape]

unconditionally | part one

read part two here

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prologue

september 1st, 1974

your parents had just dropped you off at platform 9 ¾ for your very first year at hogwarts.

you hugged them tightly and bid them goodbye, their arms lingering around you before you finally stepped onto the hogwarts express.

you looked around for an empty compartment, feeling intimidated by the much taller and older students bustling through the train. this would be your first year at hogwarts and you were feeling a mix of emotions, ranging from excitement to nervousness.

you poked your head into several compartments, your presence being unwelcomed by those who sat in them. you frowned and walked over to the next compartment, looking inside to see a red haired girl and a black haired boy sitting inside.

"do you two mind if i sit here? everywhere else is full," you politely asked them.

"sure!" the girl happily exclaimed as the boy nodded, a small smile on his face as you sat down next to him.

"i'm lily evans," the girl said as she extended her hand to shake yours. "and this is my friend, severus snape."

you shook her hand before looking over at severus, who shyly shook your hand.

"hello, i'm y/n," you told the duo as you sat back in your seat. "what year are you two in?"

"we're both fourth years," severus replied as he quickly smoothed out the wrinkles in his robes. you noticed that his robes looked older and dirtier than yours and lily's, and unlike most people who would instantly judge him, you felt sorry for him.

"oh, i'm only a first year," you replied with a timid smile. "what houses do you two belong to?"

"slytherin," severus proudly replied as lily said, "gryffindor."

"ah, my dad's a ravenclaw. my mom is a muggle. i'm hoping that i end up in ravenclaw like my dad," you grinned.

"i'm muggle born, so i'm the only witch in the family," lily told you.

"i'm also half blood," severus softly told you as he looked over at you. "my dad is a muggle and my mom's a witch."

"i'm glad that we all have muggle ancestry in common. my dad told me that there's been a lot of pure blood supremacy happening recently," you cautiously informed lily and severus. "my parents almost didn't let me go to hogwarts since they've been hearing about a lot of bad things happening in the wizarding world."

"hogwarts is the safest place on earth," lily reassured you. "it's not like anything bad could happen there."

"speak for yourself," severus mumbled as a tall, light brown haried boy with round glasses opened the door of the compartment.

"hello, lily. you look quite lovely today," the boy brightly told lily, who blushed a little and quickly looked away. the boy then looked over at you and severus, a smirk crossing his features.

"ah, looks like snivellus got himself a girlfriend," he chuckled.

"don't call me snivellus," severus replied as he looked down at his tattered shoes. "and she's not my girlfriend. we've only just met right now."

"that wasn't very nice of you to say, james," lily sternly told the boy.

james snorted and quipped, "don't tell me you're sticking up for a fool like him, lily."

"that's not nice," you bluntly informed james, staring directly at him. "did your parents never teach you proper manners?"

an awkward silence fell upon the compartment and severus looked up at you with wide eyes. james glared at you and spat, "i didn't ask you for your opinion."

"and none of us asked you to come into our compartment and be rude," you cooly retorted.

james gaped at you and then looked over at lily, asking her, "well, what do you want to do, lily? come sit with my friends and i or stay here with these two losers?"

lily quickly looked between you, severus, and james, before indignantly telling james that she'd be staying.

james scoffed and left, shutting the door behind him. severus was trembling slightly, his cheeks red as he avoided your gaze.

"thank you," he breathed, clutching onto his robes as he sighed. "i've never been able to stand up for myself against james. he's bullied me for years now. luckily, lily has defended me before, and it feels good knowing that someone else is doing it now too."

severus then looked up at you, smiling wryly. you smiled back, feeling yourself blush lightly. you honestly thought that he was cute and you found yourself staring at severus for pretty much the rest of the ride to hogwarts, grinning every time he let out a small laugh or smiled.

upon arriving at hogwarts, you were sorted into ravenclaw. you joined the other ravenclaws and waved at lily and severus from where you sat.

from that day on, you grew close with the both of them. although they were three years older than you were, you enjoyed spending time with them. the three of you would often sit down by the lake and talk, or attend the school quidditch matches together.

you and severus grew particularly close and developed soft spots for each other. severus didn't like a lot of people, yet he held you close to his heart.

however, your hopes of severus ever liking you back came to a screeching halt when he told you one day that he liked lily.

"you do?" you quietly asked him, shock written across your face. the two of you were sat in the great hall doing your history of magic homework together. lily was talking to a professor across the room, severus' eyes lingering on her before he turned back to you to whisper, "yes, i do. that prick james potter likes her too."

you processed his words and bit your lip; lily wouldn't date james since he was very rude, but that didn't mean you had a chance with severus. he had literally told you earlier that day that you were like a little sister to him.

you sighed quietly and replied, "well, hopefully it works out between you two." you forced a smile onto your face before resuming your homework, thoughts racing through your mind as you wondered what to do.

you thought that severus would get over lily, but you were very wrong; by his fifth year, he still liked her.

everything changed for the worse during that year, though.

you and severus were sitting down by the lake one afternoon, practicing spells with each other. lily was taking a test for her divination class, so she was unable to join the two of you.

you were in your second year now and were at the top of your class, so you helped him with the more challenging spells.

"snape!" a familiar voice called across the lawn. you froze, turning around to see james potter approaching with his gang of friends. severus instantly stood up, drawing his wand.

"don't worry, i got this," you hastily told him as you stood up. severus shook his head but you insisted that you were fine, huffing loudly as you pointed your wand at james, watching him approach.

"expelliarmus!" james suddenly shouted, catching you and severus by surprise. you watched as both your wand and severus' wand flew from your hands, the two of you exchanging panicked looks.

james then flicked his wand and severus was suddenly floating up into the air. "you asshole!" you fumed at james, rushing towards him with your fists bared. your wand was halfway across the lawn, so you decided that a nice, swift punch to his nose would teach him a lesson. before you could slam your fist into his nose, you heard a shout of "everte statum!" before you were sent flying backwards.

you landed hard on your back, wincing as you frantically reached around for your wand. you watched in horror as james sent severus higher and higher into the air.

"who wants to see me take snivelly's trousers off!?" james guffawed as his friends cheered and hollered behind him.

"james potter!!" a shrill voice echoed from across the lawn. you looked up to see lily running over to the scene, her red locks flying behind her in the wind.

"oh, you've come to watch the show, haven't you?" james smirked as severus struggled above him. "go out with me and i'll let snivellus down."

you tightly grabbed your wand and pointed it at james, shouting out the same spell that had sent you flying backwards.

james went flying into his group of friends, tumbling down the lawn. severus fell to the ground, letting out a cry of pain as he cradled his wrist. lily made it over to him before you could, trying to help him up.

severus sat up slightly, coldly looking up at her before he spat, "i don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like you."

lily gasped and backed away. your eyes widened, watching as james rejoined the scene, a slight limp in his step. to your shock, lily quickly walked over to james, a sheer look of betrayal and anger on her face.

"see you later, snivellus," she pompously said before walking away with james and his friends.

severus laid back down with a sob and you rushed over to him, looking down at him with great concern.

"oh my goodness, are you okay!?" you worriedly asked him.

"no," he sniffled as you helped him sit up. he was crying and he quickly wiped his tears away, his cheeks red and his hands trembling.

"why did you call lily that?" you then asked him, surprised that he would say such an awful thing.

"i-i didn't mean it!" he cried as he rubbed his sore arms and legs. "i was angry and humiliated by james and it just slipped out! lily is never going to love me now, i'm a fool."

you sighed and gently picked a few leaves and pieces of grass from severus' hair, mumbling to him, "you have to go apologize to her, sev."

"i know, but i can't. not when james is around," he sighed as he tearfully looked at you. "do you think lily will ever love me now that i've done this?"

you felt a prick of annoyance and jealousy in your heart; you still wanted severus to like you, but he was so deadset on chasing lily.

"i don't know, sev…" you trailed off. severus sighed and hugged his knees to his chest, burying his face in them. "i don't know if she'll ever love you now," you carefully added.

severus' head shot up and he narrowed his eyes at you, and you stupidly decided to continue.

"you called her the worst of names for a muggle born wizard. i don't- don't think there would be a way of ever coming back from that, especially since she ran off with james right after you called her that," you carefully explained.

"are you saying that i'll never have a chance with lily, y/n?" severus defensively asked you.

"i- fuck," you sighed, rubbing your temples. "it's just that lily isn't ever going to love you, severus! i'm the one who loves you!" you finally burst.

severus' mouth fell open and he shakily stood up, staring at you in disbelief before he quickly walked away.

that was the last time you ever spoke to severus.

you and him drifted apart and you never spoke to lily again. you made new friends and flourished at hogwarts, earning top marks every year and becoming captain of the ravenclaw quidditch team. you also ended up earning the title of prefect and eventually head girl later on.

as happy as you were, you still regretted bursting out on severus.

you heard rumors of him getting heavily involved in the dark arts and how he was a death eater in the making. you were shocked at the news and made it an extra point to avoid taking the same corridors as him to class.

you carried your guilt with you throughout the rest of your years at hogwarts, and you hoped that one day you and severus could get along again. you two were once very close and you craved that bond with him again.

your only hope was that he'd forgive you.

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chapter one

september 1st, 1994

years after you graduated from hogwarts, you were still bothered by what you had done.

you wrote a letter to severus one day, sincerely apologizing and hoping that he could forgive you. you sent the letter to his home in spinner's end, hoping that he was still living there.

you didn't hear from him for months and became convinced that he hated you, until one day you received a letter back. in the letter, he stated that he had forgiven you and missed you, hoping that you two could someday rekindle your friendship and keep your falling out where it belonged - in the past. he also added that he had defected from the death eaters and that lily was dead.

you were shocked to find out that lily was dead; you had recently heard about harry potter, the boy who lived, yet had no idea that lily was his mother.

you wrote him back and told him all about how much you've missed him and how you'd be teaching at hogwarts next fall. to your utter surprise and delight, you found out that he was the potions professor there. this would finally be your chance to reunite with your best friend after so long, and although you lost your feelings for him, you still greatly cared for him.

you stayed in contact with severus in the months leading up to your arrival at hogwarts, you were now finally starting your first day as the new defense against the dark arts professor. you wanted to help put an end to the pureblood supremacy and the tragedies that dark magic has caused over the years, and you knew that taking up this position would ensure you and your students with the skills needed to defend yourselves.

you were glad to know that snape had defected from the death eaters and you wholeheartedly accepted that side of him; you were raised to not judge others based on their mistakes and pasts.

you walked into the great hall ten minutes before the start of term feast to mingle with your fellow professors.

professor dumbledore had informed you ahead of time that the defense against the dark arts teaching position was cursed and that you'd only be able to teach for a year, so you wanted to make the most of your time here.

the large wooden doors of the great hall suddenly opened, and you looked over to see more professors walking in, brightly chatting and laughing with each other.

the last one to walk in was snape, dressed in all black and his hair still long, and he froze when he saw you.

"excuse me," you said to professor mcgonagall as you wrapped up your conversation with her, quickly walking over to snape as a smile began to tug at your lips. your walk turned into more of a sprint and you flung yourself into snape's arms, shock coursing through your body as you instantly recognized the familiar warmth of his embrace. you held onto him tightly, letting out a shuddering breath before you began to cry.

"oh, severus," you quietly said as you looked up at him with watery eyes. "i've missed you so much, i-" you cried more, unable to finish your sentence.

snape gently hushed you, giving your frame a gentle squeeze as he whispered, "i missed you too, y/n."

he looked around to see the other professors curiously watching you and snape embrace, but he paid no mind to them, now focusing on the feeling of tears rolling down his cheeks.

"it's been way too long," you mumbled into his chest. "i can't believe we've finally reunited."

snape didn't say anything, humming softly as he held you. his heart pounded in his chest as he became overwhelmed with emotion, nuzzling his face into your air to stifle his sobs.

"sev," you softly said, his nickname feeling familiar on your tongue like it belonged there, which to you it certainly did. "please don't cry too much."

"i'll try my best," he chuckled as he looked down at you, fully taking in your appearance now. "you look…different," he slowly added. honestly, he thought that you looked beautiful. you were taller now yet still a bit shorter than him, and his attire was a stark contrast to yours; snape always wore dark colors, mostly black and sometimes a dark gray, while you opted for more pastel and soft colors. you were wearing pastel blue robes and a white headband, your features decorated with soft makeup.

you laughed, wiping your eyes as you asked him, "is that a bad thing?"

"no! it's not," snape instantly answered. "it's just that the last time i saw you, you were twelve, so you look quite different now."

you nodded, just now realizing how long ago that was. "yes, it's been too long, sev." his nickname felt familiar on your tongue like it belonged there, which it certainly did.

"it sure has been," snape pleasantly agreed with a smile.

a wave of sadness and longing suddenly crashed over you and you cried only harder, letting out more sobs. snape was startled, breaking the hug to look at you.

"what's wrong? what happened?" he worriedly questioned you.

"i just missed you so much," you tearfully told him. "i was honestly miserable without you. i tormented myself over lashing out on you and didn't forgive myself for it until only recently. i felt like a horrible person."

snape sympathetically patted your arm before he gently pulled you back in for another hug, rubbing your back as he mumbled, "i missed you too, y/n. i can't explain how grateful i am to see you again, and i hope that we can rebuild our friendship."

you looked up at him to see that his eyes were still watering; the last time you saw snape cry was after he had called lily a mudblood.

"we will," you confidently told him with a smile. "no matter what happens, we'll stick by each other this time."

snape nodded in agreement, humming softly before he broke the hug. "now, before the other professors see me crying," he said as he quickly wiped his eyes. "how have you been, besides miserable?"

you inhaled a shaky breath and wearily smiled up at him as the two of you began to walk towards the head table at the front of the great hall.

"i've been quite busy, actually. i recently completed auror training at the ministry of magic. the minister told me he'd have the position ready for me after i leave hogwarts," you proudly told snape. "i was torn between becoming a full time auror or a professor and i told the minister this, and he allowed me to take up the position of defense against the dark arts professor since he said that hogwarts hasn't seen a good and reliable professor in years."

"an auror? that suits you quite well," snape commented. "you've always been so passionate about fighting for what's right and protecting others."

you grinned, taking your seat at the head table. snape instantly sat down next to you and you continued the conversation, "what about you sev, how have you been?"

"i've been alright, i suppose. a lot of things have happened that i'm not quite ready to tell you about yet," he told you, lowering his voice. "but i can assure you that i'm not in any sort of danger, considering my past."

"that's good, because i will not hesitate to hex someone who dares to mess with you," you seriously said as snape gave you a crooked smile

"the students will be entering in a few moments," dumbledore announced to you and your fellow professors. "tonight is a special night, so please listen closely to my announcements."

"what does he mean?" you asked snape as the doors to the great hall opened and a bustle of students came in.

"you didn't hear? the triwizard tournament is taking place at hogwarts this year," snape replied.

you've heard of the triwizard tournament before yet had no idea that it was happening at hogwarts this year, so you were excited to witness it first hand.

"good evening!" dumbledore cheerfully announced as the students took their seats and the first years nervously got in line to be sorted into their houses. "before we get started tonight, the first years must be sorted into their houses."

you fondly watched the first years be sorted into their houses, cheering extra loudly for those who were sorted into ravenclaw. snape merely clapped, nodding at a few of the newly inducted slytherins.

once the sorting ceremony was over, dumbledore continued with his announcements.

"first things first, i'd like to introduce your new defense against the dark arts professor, professor y/l/n!" he declared. you stood up from your seat, grinning at the students and the other professors. you caught snape's eye and your grin widened before you sat back down, smoothing out your robes.

"this year, hogwarts will be hosting two guest schools for the triwizard tournament!" dumbledore continued. "they are beauxbatons and durmstrang!"

the doors opened again to reveal a group of young ladies dressed in pastel blue dresses and hats. they pranced their way into the great hall, a tall lady following behind them.

a lot of the male students whistled and hollered at them, especially those from the slytherin table. snape gave the slytherins a distasteful look, shaking his head.

followed by the ladies were a group of tough, surly looking men dressed in fur coats and dark uniforms. behind them was an unpleasant looking man with gruff features. he wore a long, white coat and a black fur hat. his eyes zeroed in on snape and snape scowled, looking away.

you suspiciously stared at the man but your attention was drawn away from him when one of the durmstrang students suddenly cast a phoenix made out of fire. the students gasped and cheered, all eyes on the man as he went up to dumbledore and hugged him.

"who is that?" you whispered to snape as you watched the two men embrace.

"igor karkaroff," snape grumbled. "he's a terribly vile person."

you frowned, watching karkaroff converse with dumbledore.

"he better not try to start something with you, sev," you told snape in a hushed voice. "i will not hesitate to fight him."

"i can handle him myself, thank you," snape plainly replied as you sighed.

you knew that snape could be stubborn sometimes and knew that he wanted to come off as strong and independent, but that wouldn't ever stop you from defending him.

"as part of the triwizard tournament, three students will compete head to head in a series of various, difficult tasks," dumbledore said. "the goblet of fire-" he pointed to the large goblet sitting near him "-will be where students who wish to participate shall place their names. however, only students aged 17 and older are allowed to participate."

the students gasped and began to loudly boo dumbledore's words. snape rolled his eyes, peering into his empty wine glass and frowning.

"silence!!" dumbledore shouted. the students quickly quieted down, allowing dumbledore to continue speaking.

"these rules must be followed. an age line will be drawn around thr goblet to prevent anyone who is underage from putting their name into the goblet," dumbledore sternly said.

the students still seemed to disagree with the rules dumbledore that had put in place, judging by the disgruntled looks on their faxes.

once the feast was over, you and snape headed out of the great hall and to your rooms.

"i'll see you tomorrow," you told snape as you gazed down at him from the grand staircase; your room was up in ravenclaw tower while snape's was in the dungeons.

snape softly nodded, giving you a small smile before he walked away, his cloak dramatically flowing behind him.

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chapter two

you taught your very first class the next day; it was a group of fourth year gryffindors and slytherins.

harry potter was in your class, along with his two friends hermione granger and ron weasley. they were well behaved students and quite intelligent as well.

"you seem discombobulated, mr. weasley? is everything alright?" you asked the ginger haired boy as he shakily sat down at his desk, a distressed look on his face.

"professor snape is a nightmare," ron confessed to you. "i just had his class before this one. he smacked me over the head for incorrectly making a potion."

you frowned; you didn't like the sound of snape's behavior at all and made a mental note to talk to him about it.

"i'm sorry he did that, mr. weasley. i will talk to him about his behavior," you reassured him.

"don't! it's fine!" ron worriedly pleaded you. "i doubt he'd listen anyways, especially not to someone who has the position that he wants."

you raised an eyebrow at ron. "what do you mean by that?"

"snape's always wanted to teach the dark arts. i'm surprised he didn't give you a dirty look at dinner the other night. in fact, i think i saw you two chatting," ron wearily explained.

"snape and i have some history together. we went to hogwarts together and have recently reconnected with each other," you replied. "yet i had no idea that he wanted my position."

"of course he does. everyone knows that he’s always wanted to teach the dark arts," hermione piped in.

you slowly nodded, remembering how you had heard all of the rumors about snape becoming involved in the dark arts. you never thought that he'd want to be a professor, though; you'd always pictured him doing more hands on work like potions, like he was now, considering he was at the top of his potions class in hogwarts.

"well, i'm still going to talk to professor snape about his behavior," you firmly told ron. "anyways, let's get started now, shall we? please open your textbooks to chapter one, page 7."

the lesson went relatively well; draco malfoy shot some snarky comments at harry a few times and you'd have to put him in his place, but other than that, everything was fine.

after class, you had a ten minute break before you'd be seeing the fifth years. you headed down to the dungeons, greeting students as they passed by you on their way to their classes.

you approached snape's classroom and saw that the door was closed. you gently knocked, hearing snape drawl, "who is it?"

"y/n," you replied. the door opened moments later and you were hit with the strong yet pleasant smell of boom berries. snape looked down at you, his lips curling up into a smile.

"what is it that i can help you with, y/n?" he quietly asked you.

"oh, i just want to talk to you about something. may i come in?"

snape hesitated for a moment before letting you in, leaving the door slightly ajar behind you in order to clear out the smell of the boom berries. his classroom was dark, several shelves lining the walls. each shelf held glass containers filled with some sort of strange item, like animal flesh or seaweed.

"i had an interesting conversation with mr. ron weasley earlier," you carefully started.

snape watched you with an unreadable expression, leaning against his desk as he crossed his arms over his chest.

you continued, "he told me that you haven't been quite nice during your potions lesson. is that true, severus?"

snape curled his lip, unfolding his arms and sighing. "but he was-"

"i understand that you may get frustrated with your students, but that is no excuse to treat them poorly," you firmly cut him off. "i know that you're better than that."

"you don't understand what i have to deal with, y/n," snape groaned. "all of my students are dunderheads and-"

"sev," you softly said. "don't make excuses for your behavior. you were bullied before, so don't be a bully to your students."

snape stiffened, raising his eyebrows. he crossed his arms over his chest again and hung his head.

you gave him a sympathetic look and slowly approached him, gently placing a hand on his arm. snape's head shot up and he visibly relaxed, yet only slightly.

"don't be so hard on yourself about this, okay? i just- just don't want your students to feel what you felt when you were being bullied," you advised him.

unbeknownst to you, harry was outside the door, about to come in when he heard you and snape talking.

he raised his eyebrows, pressing his ear to the door as he listened carefully.

"i don't know what's wrong with me," snape blankly replied.

"nothing is wrong with you, i pro-" you started to say.

"but you implied that i was a bully," he snapped. you lowered your hand from his arm and took a step back.

"that's not what i meant. i'm trying to persuade you away from becoming one," you quickly explained.

snape brushed past you, his cloak whipping around his slender figure. "i know what's best for me, y/n," he curtly said.

"if you do, then why won't you listen to me?" you challenged him.

snape froze, biting his lip and then frowning. "how do you know what's best for me?" he retorted.

"because i've helped you numerous times before and every time i have, something positive has come out of it. i- i care about you a lot, sev. you mean a lot to me, even after all of these years and the time we spent apart. i don't want you to become something that i know you're not," you truthfully said as you looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

harry's eyes widened, leaning further against the door. the door suddenly swung open and harry fell to the floor of the potions classroom.

yours and snape's heads whipped towards the door, seeing harry laying on the floor with a horrified look on his face.

snape instantly strode over to harry and picked him up by the back of his robes, sneering at him as he spat, "what exactly are you doing here in my classroom, mr. potter? were you eavesdropping outside of the door?"

"professor-" harry started to explain, looking over at you with panic on his face. "i- i was just coming to ask you a question about the homework."

snape narrowed his eyes at him, easily reading harry's thoughts and concluding that harry had indeed been eavesdropping; it was all that harry was thinking about at that moment.

"ten points from gryffindor, mr. potter, for not keeping your nose in your own business," snape spat, letting go of harry's robes. harry dropped to the floor, nearly losing his balance. "get. out."

harry scrambled out of the classroom, nearly tripping on his way out. snape cursed under his breath and then looked over at you, his cheeks flushing.

"that was a justified punishment," you told him. "i wonder how much harry heard…"

"whatever he heard, he better not go around blabbing it to his friends," snape grumbled. "our business is our business, not potter's."

you grinned at snape and said, "i agree. now, if you excuse me, i'll be returning to my class now."

you went to leave but before you exited his classroom, you turned around and said to snape, "there's nothing wrong with you, okay? just remember that."

snape smiled slightly, nodding as he watched you leave before he closed the door.

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chapter three

you found yourself spending a lot more time with snape than you had imagined, yet you were greatly enjoying it.

snape's attitude always changed when he was around you; he'd laugh and smile and even crack a few jokes. around others, he was gloomy and looked just about ready to jump in front of the hogwarts express.

snape had just missed you so much and he was just to grateful to have someone as tender and loving as you back in his life.

you and him were sat down by the lake one day, reminiscing on all of the positive memories that you two shared, purposefully leaving out the negative things.

"remember when i nearly fell off the stairs in my second year?" you laughed.

"i thought we were only supposed to be talking about positive memories."

"but it was funny!" you insisted as snape rolled his eyes.

"you have a strange sense of humor," he told you in a teasing manner.

"that's what makes me unique," you proudly said. "you know, i miss our days as kids. i especially miss the days we'd race in the courtyard to see who would get to play gobstones first."

"I'd always beat you," snape smugly said. you laughed and shook your head, replying, "not always. i beat you o couple of times before."

"whatever you say, y/n," snape chuckled as he picked a lily from the grass, holding it between his thumb and forefinger. "i miss lily," he softly added.

you sympathetically patted his hand and nodded. "to be honest, i miss her too. the three of us had fun together while our friendship lasted, wouldn't you say?"

snape quickly nodded in agreement. "yes, we did. things were just a lot more fun and enjoyable as children. growing up and maturing too quickly really does something to a person."

"i know how it feels. after hogwarts, i was thrust into a reality that i wasn't exactly prepared for. as i grew older, though, i began to love life and see that there will always be hope and happiness waiting for me when i need it."

snape smiled and carefully put the lily down back into the grass, laying it next to the other flowers. "you're quite the intellectual, i must say. some people would say your grand optimism is overwhelming, but i think it's refreshing, considering i've been surrounded by nothing but negativity for the past few years."

"who exactly would say that?" you curiously asked snape.

"probably filch," snape said, referring to the grumpy old hogwarts caretaker.

you laughed loudly, leaning your head against the very same tree you and snape sat under so many times in the past. "i'm glad my optimistic outlook on life makes you feel better, though. it's not always easy to see the positive in the negative."

snape contently sighed and leaned his head against the tree as well, the two of you looking up at the sky and watching the clouds.

"that one looks like my patronus," you said as you pointed up at a cloud that resembled a cat's head.

"a cat?" snape asked as you nodded.

"a tonkinese cat, to be exact," you happily explained. "i've only ever cast it during auror training when we were taught how to fight off dementors."

"mine is a doe, yet i don't see any doe shaped clouds, unfortunately," snape said with a frown as he carefully examined each cloud.

"a doe? that's cute."

"yes, it's the same as lily's."

you nodded, figuring that the doe represented his love for lily. you knew just how deeply snape loved lily and you felt sorry for him that he had to lose her in such a tragic way.

"my father's patronus is a calico cat," you added. "what's ironic is that he's allergic to cats and so am i."

snape laughed at that, grinning at you as he said, "at least your patronus won't trigger your allergies."

you nodded and grinned back at him before the two of you sat in comfortable silence, admiring the sky together.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter four

you struggled keeping your students focused in class, considering that they were all so excited for the upcoming triwizard tournament.

all of their focus went straight out the window when harry's name somehow ended up in the goblet of fire.

you found yourself in a room with the other professors after the incident, watching as dumbledore roughly grabbed harry and angrily asked him, "harry, did you put your name in the goblet of fire??"

"no sir!" harry gasped. "i swear that i didn't! i don't know who did!"

"professor dumbledore, i think that we should take a logical approach to this situation instead of simply accusing harry of putting his name in the goblet of fire," you meekly told dumbledore.

dumbledore slowly turned to face you, a displeased look on his face.

snape loudly cleared his throat and said, "i agree with professor y/l/n. any illogical approaches will only prove to be insufficient."

everyone in the room immediately looked over at snape, surprised to see that he was defending harry and agreeing with a fellow professor.

"very well then," dumbledore said with a resigned sigh. "i will open up an investigation on this matter. however, even if we find out who really put his name in the goblet of fire, harry will still need to participate in the tournament. the rules cannot be broken."

"that's perfectly logical," snape sarcastically mumbled, only loud enough for you to hear. you let a giggle slip and masked it with a cough.

"the tournament is extremely dangerous, albus. is there any other way to resolve this issue?" professor mcgonagall nervously asked dumbledore.

"i'm afraid not, minerva. harry will just have to greatly prepare for the tournament," dumbledore said as he looked over at harry. "he must improve and use all of his physical and mental strength for the tasks ahead."

harry gulped and nervously looked over at you and snape with pleading eyes, almost like he was asking you two for a way out of this.

the professors began to clear the room and before harry could leave, you stopped him.

"harry, if you need any help at all, my door is always open," you kindly told him. "i know how scary this must feel."

"thanks, professor," harry said, almost in a daze as he slowly left the room.

"dumbledore wants to follow the rules when rules are meant to be broken," snape quietly commented as you and him left.

"rules are meant to be followed, actually, but in this case it would've been nice if they had been broken," you sighed.

snape looked down at you with that signature smile/smirk combo of his. "you do know that you don't always have to follow the rules, right?"

"i'd prefer to keep my morals in check, thanks," you laughed.

"even when we were in school together you were terrified of even accidentally breaking a rule. it was quite…." snape trailed off, his voice growing quiet at the end of his sentence.

"quite what?" you curiously asked him.

snape's lips moved but no sound came out, and you couldn't quite read his lips.

"sev?"

"endearing," snape finally said, his cheeks as red as the robes of the gryffindor student who was walking in front of you two.

your heart swelled at his words and you looked away to hide your quickly reddening face. endearing. the man who appeared stoic and cold, and who you just happened to used to have a crush on, had just called you endearing.

"thank you," you breathed, awkwardly clearing your throat afterwards. "i'll see you at dinner tonight."

"of course," snape said with a nod. "i'll see you."

you practically ran to your room after that, passing by the ravenclaw common room and a group of ravenclaw students standing around and laughing.

you tore open the door to your office, closing it shut behind you before heading across the room to another door that led to your room.

you flung yourself onto your bed and screamed into your pillow for a good ten seconds before rolling onto your back, staring up at the ceiling. your tawny owll, gizmo, flew in just then through the open window next to your bed. he dropped an envelope onto your chest and hooted at you before settling onto his perch that sat by your dresser.

you picked up the envelope, seeing that it was from your dad, who worked as head seer in the department of mysteries at the ministry of magic.

you quickly opened it, pulling out the letter and reading it.

dear y/n,

i am writing to inform you that a fellow seer at the ministry has informed me that dark times are ahead of us, yet the when, where, and who of this situation are unclear at this time. in order to not cause a panic, please withhold this information from others until further notice. i know cornelius fudge won't believe me, but i trust you and know you'll keep this secret safe as you deserve to know it.

thank you for your cooperation.

your heart sank and you folded the letter, placing it back inside the envelope before putting it on your nightstand. your thoughts instantly went to voldemort; who else could the seer have been prophesying about?

you were tempted to inform dumbledore of this news, considering that it would be best for him to know and prepare extra safety measures for hogwarts, but you knew that you couldn't.

you already knew that you'd feel horrible for keeping such a secret from those around you, but you also didn't want to disobey your dad. you knew that bringing this to the attention of others would indeed cause panic, and when people are panicking, they make irrational decisions based on their emotions.

you hopelessly looked over at gizmo, who ruffled his feathers and hooted at you.

"you're lucky that you're not a human," you sighed to your owl as you gently pet him. "you don't have to deal with all of these things. you just nap and fly around."

gizmo lovingly nibbled on your finger and you smiled, petting him once more before getting ready for dinner.

the great hall buzzed with chatter of harry's name being in the goblet of fire. harry was clearly distressed and hardly touched his food. you gave him a sympathetic look from where you sat before turning over to look at snape, whose eyes were carefully watching karkaroff.

"why are you staring at karkaroff?" you asked snape after forking roasted potatoes into your mouth, savoring the succulent flavors on your tongue.

"i have a feeling that he's going to try to do something," snape lowly replied. "like what?" you curiously asked him.

snape deeply inhaled and shook his head. "i can't tell you, nor am i ready to tell you."

you frowned and nodded; you obviously weren't going to pressure snape into telling you, yet you couldn't help but be curious.

"how were your classes today?" you asked snape, taking a sip of your wine.

"they were okay. a first year hufflepuff melted their cauldron today. i couldn't help but give them detention," snape bitterly replied. "but i wasn't too harsh with them, so that's a step in the right direction."

"i'm proud of you for trying," you sweetly told snape. snape's eyes and expression softened; no one has ever told him that they're proud of him, and his heart rate began to accelerate after hearing your words. he smiled to himself and tried to ignore the heat rising in his body.

"you okay?" you asked snape, noticing how dazed he suddenly seemed.

snape quickly nodded and shoved a forkful of food into his mouth, choking afterwards. you patted his back, helping snape regain his breathing. snape's mind was racing; he's always had a soft spot for you, so you telling him that you're proud of him had him over the moon. although he's always been one to mask his emotions, he couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his face.

you and snape quietly chatted with each other about your days, feeling the lingering eyes of a few professors on the two of you. snape shot them a dirty look and they quickly looked away, yet they began to whisper to each other.

"if only we could take points from professors for being nosy," you laughed as you finished up your dinner. "i don't know why they were staring at us so much."

"they have nothing better to do," snape said as he rolled his eyes. "anyways, what do you think the first task in the tournament will be?"

"hopefully something not too intense. i'm really worried about harry," you nervously confessed.

"all of the tasks will most likely be intense. students have gone missing or been injured in the tournament before, or worse, died," snape replied.

you bit your lip and whined quietly; the thought of hogwarts losing a student made you feel sick to your stomach.

after dinner, you and snape lingered in the corridor for a bit, talking and laughing quietly with each other.

snape felt light and calm; your good heart was infectious, and it was beginning to slowly rub off on him.

as he walked to his room that night, he thought back to that day years ago by the lake when you had told him that you loved him.

no one has ever loved snape before in his entire life and he suddenly realized that he had taken your love for granted.

whether your love for him was platonic or romantic, snape didn't know, but he did not want to lose it or lose you again. in fact, he wanted to grow even closer to you and deepen the close bond that you two have always had, despite the years of being apart from each other.

you didn't know it, but snape's gratitude for you was overflowing out of his heart at this point.

although you and him had only been reunited for a few days, it felt longer.

it truly felt like you and him had never said goodbye to each other in the first place.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter five

a week before the first task was scheduled to begin, the third year and older students went to hogsmeade over the weekend. you and snape had been asked to chaperone, so you and him bundled up in your warmest clothing and headed out.

"you'll be losing your house fifteen points if you keep up with those antics of yours, weasleys!" snape scowled at the fred and george, who were trying to drop chocolate frogs down the coat of a fourth year. the twins rolled their eyes and pretended to put the frogs away, yet you saw them take them out again a few minutes later, prompting snape to swiftly take fifteen points from gryffindor.

"they don't act up at all in my class," you laughed to snape.

"must be nice," snape sighed as you and him walked behind the students, who were all happily chattering with each other as they made their way into the different shops in the village. "they only know how to cause trouble."

"if i ever caused trouble like that, i would've been grounded. my parents never tolerated any sort of misbehavior on my part," you told snape as you and him entered the three broomsticks to escape the cold. you were instantly hit with the sweet, comforting smells of butterbeer and freshly baked goods, inhaling deeply as you smiled.

"so you've always been a good girl, then?" snape asked as you and him sat in a booth in the corner of the restaurant near the fireplace.

you knew that snape meant it with innocent intent, yet his question had your cheeks feeling as hot as the fireplace looked.

"yes, i have been. i've grown to not tolerate misbehavior either," you quickly replied as a tall, blue haired waiter approached your table.

"good morning, what would you two like?" the waiter asked as he pushed his horn rimmed glasses up on his nose.

"can i have a medium butterbeer and a slice of apple pie, please?" you asked, surprised when snape ordered a plain black coffee.

"do you not like any sugar or creamer in your coffee?," you asked snape.

"my tastes buds can only tolerate black coffee," he simply said. "besides, i need something to get me moving."

you nodded, saying, "i'll share my apple pie with you, if you'd like."

"apple pie with black coffee sounds like an interesting combination, especially because one thing is bitter and the other is sweet," snape said, smiling slightly. "i'll try it."

"i miss coming to hogsmeade as a student," you sighed as you rested your chin on your palm. "we never went together, did we?"

snape shook his head. "no. i only went once, though. i didn't really like it. my anxiety was flaring up the whole time," he sadly explained. "i feel okay right now, though."

"i'm glad you're feeling okay," you smiled; snape struggled a lot with anxiety, something he told you about after you had found him in the middle of an anxiety attack in a dead end corridor. it had occured a few weeks before you and snape had your falling out. "i know how much your anxiety has affected you."

"it's just another thing i have to deal with," he said, pursing his lips. "along with my incompetent stude-"

"severus."

"what, y/n?"

"they aren't incompetent," you told him with a small nudge to his shoulder as snape glared at you.

"whatever you say," he mumbled as he drummed his fingers on the table.

your food and drinks arrived a few minutes later and snape reluctantly drank his coffee after putting a piece of pie into his mouth.

he choked and coughed, shaking his head as he said. "that was a bad idea."

"really? now i want to try it," you mischievously said as you grabbed his class from him and wiped the rim of it with a napkin.

"i just said it was a bad idea. why would you want to…" snape's voice grew quiet as he watched you consume the coffee and apple pie with ease, not being phased by the strongly contrasting flavors at all.

"see? that wasn't so bad," you told him, taking a sip of your butterbeer afterwards.

snape shook his head again, stunned by your antics. "now i want butterbeer," he sighed as he called the waiter over.

you smirked, drinking your butterbeer as you looked around the restaurant. there were a handful of students there, a few of them looking over their shoulders at where you and snape sat before turning back to their table and whispering to each other.

you knew exactly why everyone was whispering; they were most likely shocked that someone was getting along with snape because of his reputation and demeanor, but all the whispering and staring was making you uncomfortable.

"can we go after this?" you whispered to snape once he had received his drink. "people are staring."

"for each minute they stare equals one point that i'll take from their house," snape announced rather loudly, which prompted the students sitting nearby to quickly stand up and leave.

you chuckled as snape asked, "still want to go?"

"yes, if you don't mind. i want to go to honeydukes."

snape agreed and you and him left a few minutes later, heading across the street to honeydukes which was nearly bursting with shoppers.

"i'm just going to get dark chocolate and then go stand in the corner," snape awkwardly said as he carefully made his way through the crowd of customers.

you laughed and followed him, picking up some caramel cobwebs and bertie bott's every flavor beans on the way.

snape did a double take when he saw an edible dark mark lollipop on one of the display shelves, quickly looking around to make sure you weren't nearby. you were on the other side of the aisle, chatting with one of your students about the selection of sweets.

snape frowned at the lollipop and then quickly walked away from it, pushing memories of his death eater days out of his head. he grabbed a small box of dark chocolates to suffice.

when he was a death eater, he wasn't an enthusiastic one whatsoever; he had just been weak and vulnerable and wanted to find a group of people who'd accept him, but he started to get involved with the wrong people which ultimately strained the relationships he had with you and lily at the time.

snape stood in the corner of the store and watched everyone in the shop laughing and talking with each other, feeling his eyes continuously stray over to where you stood.

when you were both children, snape became very protective of you and even considered you to be like a little sister to him. he could feel his protective instincts coming to life once again as he watched you, almost like he was expecting danger to come swooping in at any moment.

"ready to go?" your voice suddenly asked, starling snape out of his thoughts. he must've looked away for half a second because suddenly you were at his side.

he quickly nodded and the two of you went to the register to pay. as you and him left, it had begun to snow.

"the snow is beautiful," you marveled as you watched the snow gradually accumulate on the buildings and trees. "i love this time of year."

"this weather gives me an excuse to lock myself up in my room all day and read by the fireplace," snape said as he opened his box of chocolates, unwrapping one and putting it into his mouth.

"sounds like my typical day," you beamed at him as you and him walked through the snow covered village. in the distance stood the infamous shrieking shack, the sight alone giving you the chills.

snape looked at it too, a deep sigh passing his lips as a wave of memories washed over him; he clearly remembered when he had been led in there as a prank by sirius black. in the shack, snape came face to face with remus lupin in the middle of transforming into a werewolf.

"are you alright? you look upset," you observed, studying snape's facial expressions.

"i'm alright. no need to worry about me," he said with a pained smile. "let's just keep on walking."

you nodded and you and snape continued your stroll through hogsmeade, eating your sweets and letting the snow embrace your figures.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter six

the first task was stealing a golden egg protected by a dragon.

harry came to your classroom a few times before the first task for emotional support, which you gladly gave him. you wished him the best of luck before he joined the other students in a tent outside of the stadium where the task was being held.

you joined snape and the other professors and students in the stands, feeling so nervous that you might pass out.

"this is inhumane," you mumbled as you watched the first dragon struggle against the chains it was secured to. "that dragon should be out free and living its life."

snape slowly nodded, his eyes flickering over to you for a moment. you were wearing pastel pink robes today, which ironically matched your office decor. you had your hair tied up into small space buns, your ears adorned with small, silver hoop earrings.

snape thought that it was comical how different your aesthetics were; his attire was gloomy while yours was cute. he felt like it perfectly matched your personalities.

the tournament began and you were so jumpy and nervous throughout the whole thing that you found yourself clutching onto snape's arm.

snape looked over at you and awkwardly patted your leg, trying to calm you down.

you couldn't bare to watch when it was harry's turn, jumping every time the dragon growled or roared.

"are you alright, professor y/l/n? would you like to me escort you from the stadium?" professor mcgonagall worriedly asked you from your right.

"i'm fine, minerva. just nervous," you told her with a pained smile, feeling snape's hand suddenly tug at your robes.

you looked over at him and saw that he was looking up at the sky. you followed his line of sight and saw that harry's broomstick was zooming down towards the stadium.

harry instantly jumped onto it when it got close enough, flying around the dragon and dodging its flames. much to everyone's utter shock and horror, the dragon broke loose from the chains and flew out of the stadium, its tail ripping through the canopy that you and the professors sat under.

you screamed and ducked your head into snape's chest, keeping it there until the dragon and harry had flown away from the stadium.

"y/n?" snape softly asked you. you quickly looked up at him, meeting his eyes.

"do you want to leave?" he asked. you instantly shook your head. "i'm okay. i want to make sure that harry gets back in one piece."

a handful of professors and students noticed how quickly you had hidden your face in snape's chest; to them, it was odd that anyone would want to get so physically close to snape.

after many harrowing minutes, harry safely returned and snagged the golden egg, earning an uproar of cheers and applause from the stands.

you congratulated harry and the other competitors on accomplishing the first task; you seriously couldn't have been more proud of them.

you and snape decided to go to his room and unwind after the first task; it induced a lot of anxiety in you and snape didn't want you at the stadium any longer, so he instantly took you to his room after the first task had concluded.

"thank you for caring for me," you told snape as the cup of warm tea that he had brewed for you hovered over to you. snape gently flicked his wand, causing the cup to slowly lower into your open hands.

"you don't have to thank me for that, y/n," snape replied as he began to brew his own tea. "i have never really been cared for before you came into my life. i've always cared for you, though, especially after you started to stick up for me against james," snape continued. he was rambling at this point, but he wanted to make it clear to you that he wasn't this heartless asshole that everyone at hogwarts portrayed him to be. "even after our argument, i continued to care for you since you've always been such a big part of my life.'

snape found it quite easy to express his emotions with you, considering how much you meant to him. sharing his emotions with others, though, was often a tedious and difficult task.

"i care for you a lot too," you happily said. "and love you too, of course."

there it was, the L word again. the word that ruined everything in the first place.

you didn't want to hold back from expressing your love for snape, though. you felt a lot of strong platonic love for him, but you wouldn't be surprised if you one day fell for him again just like you did as a kid.

"it feels good to have someone like you in my life, y/n. it truly does," snape graciously told you. "i know i haven't always been the best person, but i promise you that i am not just my mistakes."

snape could feel his insecurities starting to bottle up and he quickly stopped talking before he trauma dumped all over you.

you smiled and said, "your mistakes do not reflect who you are as a person. everyone makes mistakes. what matters is that we make a conscious effort to learn from them."

snape nodded in agreement, his head feeling fuzzy; he was becoming pleasantly overwhelmed by all of your kind words. he tried not to feel sorry for himself, but growing up with an abusive father and neglectful mother really shaped and changed his perspective on life and himself.

he never thought that someone would actually be able to withstand him and his trauma, but you did, and for that he was grateful for.

"my mom once told me that learning to love and accept all versions of yourself - past and present - can be a life-long process," you told snape, placing your cup down on the coffee table. "she's a muggle therapist, so she's had a lot of clients who have struggled with loving and accepting themselves. she told me that the most important thing is to try, even if it's just a little. even if you try only 5%, it shows that you're strong, because you're willing to look at both the good and bad sides of yourself."

snape was in awe of what you were saying; he had never met someone so wise, mature. and well articulated before. no wonder you were sorted into ravenclaw.

"y/n, that's…" he started to say, at a loss for words.

you laughed quietly and said, "awesome? specular? life changing?"

"all of the above," snape finally said. "i don't know how you manage to put up with me."

"it's easy. behind those dark robes and stoic expression is a warm-hearted, gentle man who i'm lucky to have in my life. you have your faults but so do i, and i will always unconditionally accept you. you deserve that acceptance. you deserve happiness. you've been through too much," you told snape as you stood closer to him, placing a hand on his arm and patting it. "you deserve every ounce of goodness in this world."

snape felt like he could either burst into tears, implode, or both; you were telling him everything that he's always wanted to hear his entire life. your words went straight to his heart, which was already feeling too much all at once. one of the feelings, though, was something that he hadn't felt in a very long time; it was giddiness and a flicker of joy and affection.

"thank you," snape whispered. "i…" he trailed off, too many words at the tip of his tongue. he didn't know how else to word his gratitude, so he just nodded at you.

"of course, sev," you mumbled, sighing happily and collecting your cup, making your way to the conjoined kitchen to wash it.

"i got it," snape quickly said, stopping you. "you go on now, i'll take care of the cups. classes resume in fifteen minutes."

you nodded and thanked him, your gaze lingering on him before you left his room and made your way through the cold, quiet dungeons.

once you had left, snape nearly dropped the cups as his hands were shaking. he felt strangely warm and tingly all over and his heart was racing. he used his wand to levitate the cups towards the sink, his mind buzzing with thoughts of you and what you had told him.

draco malfoy and his two friends, crabbe and goyle, passed you on your way up the stairs, sniggering to each other and whistling at you.

you stopped halfway up the stairs and turned to face them, loudly announcing for everyone nearby to hear, "five points from slytherins."

"for what!?" draco exclaimed. "we weren't doing anything!"

"for catcalling your professor, mr. malfoy," you calmly replied. "go on now, you three."

the three males huffed and rolled their eyes, walking away and shoving a second year slytherin girl as they walked past her.

"another five points!" you shouted, sympathetically patting the girl's shoulder as she quickly walked past you.

you shook your head and rubbed your temples, feeling a headache starting to conjure just from that interaction with draco and his friends.

you didn't see it, but snape had exited his classroom while you were telling off the boys. he roughly grabbed onto the three males and snapped at them for acting so immaturely. he then took ten points from slytherin, totaling twenty points being taken from slytherin in just a few minutes.

snape angrily mumbled to himself as he returned to his room; he was head of slytherin house and expected the members of his house to behave better.

snape knew that you didn't witness him taking more points from slytherin and that bothered him; he was very worried that you'd end up hating him like everyone else did, and he wanted to prove to you that he wasn't as horrible as others perceived him as.

he tried not to worry, but snape was always prone to worrying about every little thing, especially when it concerned him.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter seven

as the weeks passed, you and snape only grew closer. the two of you would spend hours in the library at nighttime, browsing through the restricted section and picking out the most interesting books for each other before heading back to his room to read them.

you and him would also have deep conversations about anything and everything, and snape was always excited to tell you all about his favorite potions and what he was currently brewing. not only did your find his passion for his work fascinating, you also thought it was attractive in a way.

you felt different around snape now, like you were walking on clouds all the time.

even on the weekends, you and him would sometimes go to hogsmeade together for butterbeer that the both of you would sneak back into the castle, just to drink it while you and him sat by the cozy fireplace in his room and read.

all of this time you and snape had been spending together didn't go unoticed, which sparked sudden bouts of rumors from professors and students alike.

"have you seen the way snape is looking at her? i think he fancies her," you heard hermione whisper to harry and ron during one of your lectures.

you blushed, making it seem like you were reviewing something that you had written on the board, but you continued to listen. you felt like a hypocrite for eavesdropping, but this matter did concern you after all.

"snape can feel things? i don't know whether i should be shocked or disgusted," ron mumbled.

"both," harry told ron. "they've been growing closer over the past few weeks."

"imagine them going to the yule ball together! a greasy git dancing with a beautiful, intelligent woman like professor y/l/n," ron dramatically sighed.

the yule ball. you had completely forgotten about the ball and it was happening next week. you were going to attend, of course, yet you were far too nervous to even consider asking snape if he wanted to go with you.

"mr. weasley, can you please tell me the basics of hex-deflection?" you suddenly asked ron as you turned to face him.

ron's eyes widened, panic crossing his face as he had not been paying attention at all.

"blimey, that's- um, well, you see-" ron tried to explain. hermione rolled her eyes and answered for him as harry shook his head.

"thank you, miss granger, but next time i'd like your friend to answer and not be calling his potions professor a greasy git," you said in a clipped tone.

harry laughed and quickly masked it with a dramatic cough, burying his face into his elbow. hermione's eyes widened and the other students jeered "oooo!" as ron's face quickly reddened.

"sorry, professor," ron mumbled as he looked down at his lap in shame.

"i expect better behavior from you, mr. weasley. name calling is not tolerated in my class, let alone outside of it either," you sternly told him.

harry and hermione were exchanging wide eyes glances; your words only further confirmed their speculation that you and snape had something going on.

ron apologized again, which saved him from losing gryffindor five points. you continued with the lesson, feeling slightly on edge for the rest of it.

you had a free period after that lesson and you decided to mark papers during that time. you were marking a particularly lengthy essay when you heard a knock at your classroom door.

"who is it?" you asked, your eyes scanning the run on sentences that the student had written.

"you know," a familiar baritone voice said from the other side of the door.

you immediately stood up, nearly knocking over your ink and quill as you hurried to the door. you opened it and grinned widely upon seeing snape there, letting him in.

"have you heard what everyone is talking about?" snape slowly asked you.

"yes, i obviously have," you laughed. "they're shocked to see that you're getting along with someone who is teaching the class that you've always wanted to teach."

"i was going to tell you that," snape admitted as he picked at his cuticles, a nervous habit of his, but he was especially nervous around you now. "it's unfortunate that you had to hear it from others."

"it's alright. something else more exciting will happen and people will stop talking about our personal lives," you reassured him.

snape silently nodded, taking a look around your classroom. "i remember my very first day here in this class," he reminisced as he slowly ran a hand across one of the desks in the front of the room. you watched the way his long fingers caressed the wood, the sight causing something in your lower stomach and heart to stir.

"do you really?" you breathlessly asked him. snape drew his hand away from the desk and nodded. "yes, it was quite an interesting day. i already knew about most of the hexes and curses, so the other students became…wary of me."

"but you didn't use any of those, right?" you hopefully asked him.

"i did," he reluctantly admitted. "yet i most treasured the ones that i invented myself."

you remembered when snape would tell you all about the spells that he had invented, captivating you as he gave you all of the details about them and how they worked.

"i invented something myself," you proudly said. "while i was training at the ministry, i became fascinated with inventing spells and i actually developed a wizard form of birth control. the spell is quite easy to cast, actually."

"really? a birth control spell?" snape curiously asked you.

you nodded. "yes, i wanted to make things easier for witches who didn't want the stress of well, you know- accidentally getting pregnant."

snape smiled at you and lowly replied, "you're a clever girl, aren't you?"

something inside of you shifted when snape said that, like your brain was short circuiting and your insides were melting.

"i suppose so, yes," you wheezed, your body suddenly feeling very warm. "i mean, i am a ravenclaw. you could've been in ravenclaw too, you know. you're intelligent and created your own spells."

"mm, i feel as if i fit slytherin more," snape shrugged. "although, you are the cleverest ravenclaw that i've ever met."

you absolutely knew that harry and his friends would be having a field day if they heard what snape was saying right now.

"and you're the most ambitious slytherin that i've ever met," you sweetly replied. "do you want to use some of that ambition towards helping me mark these papers?" you motioned towards the pile of papers on your desk.

snape playfully rolled his eyes and agreed, grabbing a chair from a nearby desk and sitting down next to you.

"i had my students write an essay on hex-deflections," you explained to snape as you handed him an essay to look over. "those are very important to know. i'm sure you already know plenty about them."

"i do," snape confirmed with a sly smile. he picked up one of the essays, which belonged to draco.

"mr. malfoy seems to not know the difference between they're, their, and there," snape dryly said as he frowned down at the paper.

you snorted and grabbed your quill, taking off a few points from draco's paper.

"so," snape slowly started as he leaned back in his chair. "the yule ball is coming up."

you nodded, too focused on marking draco's essay to reply.

"are you going?" he asked you, a hint of hope in his voice.

"yes, i am. are you?" you replied, dipping your quill into your ink.

snape nodded. "only because dumbledore wants everyone to mingle," he scowled.

you laughed and said, "so you don't think you'll enjoy it, then?"

"depends," snape simply replied.

"depends on what?" you questioned as you finally looked up at him.

"you'll see," he mysteriously said.

you sighed, knowing well that snape wouldn't tell you. he helped you mark the essays for the rest of the free period before he dramatically left your classroom with an extra swoosh of his cloak.

deep down, you were still hoping that snape would ask you to the ball even though professors didn't usually go in pairs.

at the end of the week, professor mcgonagall led the gryffindor students into a room to tell them the details of the yule ball. she asked you and snape to join in order to monitor the students and make sure that they were paying attention.

"now, who would like to demonstrate a proper ballroom dance?" professor mcgonagall asked after she finished explaining the ball. not a single student answered, all of them avoiding eye contact with mcgonagall.

"professor snape and professor y/l/n!" professor mcgonagall suddenly said, a few laughs coming from the students. "why don't you two come to the center of the room and demonstrate for the students?"

you hadn't even been paying attention half of the time, too busy making sure that the weasley twins weren't goofing off in the corner.

"minerva, i don't think that's-" snape tried to say, but mcgonagall simply waved him off and said, "don't be silly, severus! come now, you too, y/n."

you and snape shared a mutual look of panic and embarrassment as you two awkwardly walked to the center of the room. a student whistled and another chuckled, and you swore you heard the weasley twins say something along the lines of, "i bet this will be snape's first time ever feeling the touch of a woman."

snape scowled at the students who were acting up before he turned to you, his lips pressed into a thin line as he fiddled with his fingers.

"well, go on now!" mcgonagall promptly said, giving the small of your back a push. you stumbled forward into snape's chest, gasping when he steadied you by your waist.

"i'm sorry," you mouthed to snape, apologizing for nothing in particular. snape didn't say anything, simply placing his hand on your waist. you slowly placed your hand on his shoulder and then intertwined your free hand with his.

filch started up the record player, an elegant orchestral piece filling the room. you didn't move at first, too panicked to even comprehend that snape was holding your waist.

snape moved first, gently swaying yours and his bodies. you caught up with him and stumbled a bit, cursing under your breath.

you could barely look at snape as you and him danced, the sound of the music being drowned out by the sound of your heart pounding in your ears.

"are you alright?" snape's deep voice drawled in your ear as he lowered his head slightly. you jumped, nodding quickly.

"your face is very red," snape informed you.

"really? i couldn't tell, even considering how hot my face feels," you sarcastically replied. snape smirked and swayed you again, humming to himself. you finally looked up at him and met his eyes, smiling as you instinctively squeezed his hand.

snape pulled you closer to him, getting lost in the music as he looked down at you. he felt something stirring in his stomach, that familiar, pleasant feeling of butterflies when he was around someone he found to be attractive.

"everyone else grab a partner and join!" mcgonagall suddenly announced, earning groans from the male students and happy gasps from the female students.

you forgot where you even were as you gazed up into snape's eyes, letting the music and the intimacy of this very moment consume you. you could feel the eyes of everyone in the room on you and snape, but you could care less at this point.

you felt safe in snape's arms just like you always have, and you were disappointed when the music stopped.

"good job, everyone!" mcgonagall cheerfully announced. "you'll all do fantastic at the ball!"

the students scurried out of the room, the girls giggling amongst themselves as the boys groaned in annoyance.

"severus and y/n, dumbledore said he'd like to see professors going in pairs this year," mcgonagall casually said as her and filch went to leave. "i'll be surprised if you two don't go with each other."

there was a twinkle in her eye that caught your attention, watching as she smugly smiled before her and filch left.

"you're a good dancer," you suddenly told snape as you and him left.

"as are you," he replied, sticking his hands the pockets of his coat and swallowing thickly. "i'll see you at the yule ball, then?"

you grinned and nodded. "i'll see you."

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter eight

you were racked with nerves the evening of the yule ball.

you asked professors mcgonagall sprout to help you get ready, and they both came readily prepared with makeup and other items.

you hardly saw snape all day since you had been so busy with your lessons, so you were excited to see him tonight.

you had specially bought a dress from diagon alley for the occasion; it was a stunning dark blue dress decorated with silver stars and moons with mesh sleeves. it was floor length and you paired the dress with black pumps.

"you're going to love how you look," professor sprout excitedly told you as you sat in front of a large mirror in her room. your eyes were closed, feeling the softness of a makeup brush tickle your cheekbone.

"you can open your eyes now," mcgonagall said from behind you. you slowly opened your eyes, smiling when you saw your dolled up reflection in the mirror; you had on nude lipstick and warm blush, which both paired nicely with your light brown eyeshadow. your hair had also been done up with a couple of strands nearly framing your face, and the moon-shaped earrings on your wars seemed to glow in the light of the room. you were truly in awe of how amazing you looked.

"severus is going to fall in love when he sees you," professor sprout teased you.

you blushed and shook your head. "don't be a tease, pomona. severus and i are just going as friends," you insisted.

"as friends? severus always looks like he's died and gone to heaven when he's around you," mcgonagall giggled.

you sighed and then thanked the two ladies for helping you get ready. before you could head down to the great hall, mcgonagall exchanted your dress to make the stars and moons twinkle.

you passed by several excited students as you made your way to the great hall, who all complimented you on your attire. you thanked them and then went to search for snape, yet it was hard to spot him at first with the crowd of students standing outside the hall.

you then spotted snape, who was wearing his usual black attire, yet this time it was more formal; he wore his signature high collared coat, black dress pants, and black dress shoes, his clothing perfectly hugging his small waist. his hair was neatly combed as well, parted in the middle in its usual style.

snape's eyes widened when he saw you and you smiled softly at him as you gracefully descended down the grand staircase. a few students stopped talking and very obviously stared at you approaching snape.

"good evening," you greeted snape. "you look quite handsome."

color instantly rose to snape's cheeks as he kept his eyes on your face, mesmerized by how stunning you looked.

"thank you, y/n. you look beautiful," he softly mumbled as he gazed at you. "would you like to go in now?"

you nodded as snape offered his arm which you instantly took. you and him walked into the great hall, which had been completely turned into a winter wonderland. three large snow covered pine trees sat at the front of the room, the tip of the largest one nearly touching the icy ceiling, which had been enchanted to snow. the walls were covered in blue ice, and several large tables were scattered around the room.

"good evening, professors!" hermione cheerfully greeted you and snape as she appeared at the entrance of the great hall with her date, viktor krum. behind her were harry and ron with their dates, the patil twins.

"good evening, miss granger! your dress is lovely," you complimented hermione as you looked at her elegant pink dress. snape smiled a little at hermione and nodded in her direction.

"thank you, yours is as well," she happily replied before she was whisked away by viktor. harry, ron, and the patil twins then passed by you and snape, the girls giggling with each other while harry and ron pointedly stared at you and snape.

"many people look shocked to see us together," you observed as snape escorted you to the front where the other professors were gathered.

"of course they do," snape rolled his eyes. "they never thought that a greasy git like me would appear at the yule ball with a woman."

"you're not a greasy git," you instantly replied. "whoever says that is just jealous."

the corners of snape's lips twitched up into a smile, his hand finding the small of your back and resting there as he guided you through the crowd.

the simple touch had your knees nearly buckling and you forced yourself to remain calm, greeting your fellow professors and the students.

the four triwizard champions then walked in with their dates, conjuring cheers and applause from everyone. they would be dancing first before everyone else would join in.

the four couples took the center floor. professor flitwick began to conduct the orchestra and graceful music filled your ears.

you joyfully watched the couples dance before looking over at snape, who was visibly nervous. he anxiously toyed with the cuffs of his sleeves, tensing up when karkaroff went to stand next to him.

"sev," you whispered to him, drawing his attention towards you. "don't be nervous."

snape briefly nodded, swallowing thickly as he saw mcgonagall and dumbledore join the couples on the dance floor, a handful of students following them.

inhaling a deep breath and then exhaling it, snape rolled his shoulders and then shyly asked you, "shall we dance?"

you eagerly nodded and took his hand, letting him guide you out onto the dance floor. snape instantly put his hand on your waist and the two of you followed the same procedure that you had performed in front of the students and mcgonagall.

no one was paying much attention to their dance partners anymore, instead focusing on you and snape. frankly, they seemed mortified to see snape smiling.

"they're staring again, aren't they?" you sighed to snape as he protectively pulled you closer to him. uncontrollable feelings surged through your body feeling snape so close to you, and goosebumps ran across your skin.

"yes, but they'll stare more in just a moment," snape said before he swiftly lifted you in the air for a moment, perfectly in sync with the other dancers.

you let out a hearty laugh and grinned at snape. snape's arm fully embraced your back, pulling you much closer now. you accidentally stepped on his foot and snape cursed silently as you mumbled countless apologies.

"it's okay," he reassured you with a smile. "just keep dancing."

you nodded and happily moved with the music, your joy practically radiating off of you. never in a million years would you think that you'd be ballroom dancing with snape, but it was already becoming the highlight of your week.

you and snape maintained eye contact with each other throughout the dance, closely holding each other. it felt like the butterflies in your stomach had also traveled to your heart, and you recognized the familiar feeling of an attraction beginning to form. when you felt that you immediately thought, "here we go again," as you momentarily reminisced on the crush you used to have on snape.

there was a sudden, surprising change in the music; heavy and chaotic rock replaced the graceful sounds of the orchestra, and all of the students started screaming in excitement. the change in music pulled you out of your thoughts and you pulled away from snape.

snape rolled his eyes at the music and you giggled, the two of you easing your way out of the pulsing crowd.

"we should go dance somewhere more private," you suggested to snape as you took a swig from a bottle of water.

"sounds lovely," snape pleasantly agreed as you and him exited the chaos of the great hall.

you and snape found yourselves in the courtyard, marveling at how snowflakes delicately painted the trees, shrubs, and carriages.

snape immediately grabbed your waist, almost like it was his favorite thing to do (which to him, it absolutely was, but he wasn't going to tell you that).

yours and snape's laughter echoed through the evening air, the muffled sounds of the rock band inside filling the quietness.

"i really like spending time with you, sevy," you happily sighed as you leaned your head on his chest as he swayed you.

"likewise, y/n," he hummed as he picked a few snowflakes out of your hair.

a sudden feeling of deja vu washed over you when snape did that; it reminded you of when you picked leaves and grass out of his hair after he had fallen to the ground in his fifth year.

you looked up at snape, your lips slightly parted. snape's hands stilled on your waist, not having realized that he had been gently massaging it.

as you looked up at him, you studied his features and realized just how handsome he was. he had a large nose and a sallow face that most people would find unattractive, but you thought those features of his were the most handsome things ever. even his clothing; dark, mysterious, and alluring, only fueled your rekindling attraction for him. not to mention that deep voice as well and his gentleness when he was around you.

snape started to move again, twirling you around so quickly and suddenly that you landed straight onto your back, snape falling on top of you. you winced, a sharp pain radiating through your back for a few moments before it ceased.

"i am so sorry!" snape exclaimed as he gazed down at you, panic written across his face.

"it's okay," you laughed, quieting down when you realized how close you and him were to each other. snape's face was in close proximity to yours and his eyes flickered down to your lips for a moment before he shook his head, standing up and helping you up too.

"snape!" a gruff voice suddenly called from behind you, startling you and snape and pulling the two of you apart.

you turned around to see karkaroff standing there. he menacingly looked over at snape, completely ignoring your presence.

"karkaroff," snape said coldly, his hands falling from your waist. he quickly leaned down to whisper in your ear, "go inside, y/n. i'll see you later, okay?"

you quickly nodded and walked past karkaroff, but instead of going inside, you hid behind a pillar near the courtyard and listened to the conversation between snape and karkaroff. you had a bad feeling about this karkaroff guy and wanted to make sure that he didn't do or say anything to hurt snape.

you heard footsteps nearby and looked to your left to see harry also hiding behind a pillar. you and him looked at each other, your eyes widening simultaneously. you pressed your finger to your lips, nodding at harry before walking further down the corridor.

"it's happening again like before!" karkaroff snapped at snape as him and snape walked from carriage to carriage. snape opened each one, trying to catch students up to no good in order to get them in trouble. "and soon neither you or anybody else will be able to deny it!"

snape swung open a carriage door and then promptly closed it afterwards, smoothly replying, "i told you already, igor, i see no reason to discuss it."

"discuss what?" you wondered to yourself as you carefully peered around the pillar.

snape's eyes zeroed in a rocking carriage nearby, sprinting over to it and yelling out an incantation that broke the glass.

snape tore open the door and quickly ushered out a female and male student. "ten points from hufflepuff, fawcett! and the same for ravenclaw, stevens!" he snapped at the students as they scurried away.

"it's a sign, severus!" karkaroff roughly said as he stopped snape in his tracks. snape brushed past him with an eye roll. "you know it is!"

"i don't know what you're talking about," snape curtly replied as he walked over to another carriage.

"really?" karkaroff slyly asked snape as he approached him. "then perhaps you don't mind rolling up your sleeve?"

karkaroff moved to grab snape's sleeves but snape quickly raised his arms, directly staring into karkaroff's eyes.

"you don't fool me, severus! you are scared! admit it!" karkaroff seethed as he glared down at snape.

snape slowly lowered his arms, raising his chin as he calmly replied, "i have nothing to be scared of, igor. can you say the same?"

karkaroff hesitated for a few moments before he slowly backed away, quickly leaving the courtyard afterwards.

you exhaled a breath that you didn't know you were holding, looking over at harry. he looked as shocked as you were.

snape started to leave the courtyard and harry ran, heading back inside. you followed behind him and passed by the great hall, heading down into the dungeons.

you entered snape's room just moments before he did. his chest was heaving and he looked quite angry, slamming the door shut behind him.

"are you okay?" you asked him as he strode over to his bed and sat down, biting his lip.

"i'm fine," he lied, rubbing his left forearm and gritting his teeth.

you sat down next to him on his bed and rested your head on his shoulder. "you can tell me anything, you know," you gently reminded him.

"i know," snape deadpanned. "karkaroff just pissed me off."

"i'm sorry he did," you mumbled as you went to rub snape's left forearm like he was.

snape drew his arm back and you raised your head; he was looking at you with a serious and distressed expression. he knew that you were eventually going to see or ask about his dark mark and he didn't want to hide it from you forever, even if it put him at risk of many dangerous things. it started burning while you and him were dancing in the courtyard, which sent panic surging through him.

with a reluctant sigh, snape brought his arm forward, slowly rolling up his left sleeve to reveal his dark mark.

you gasped, looking up at snape with wide eyes. he looked away, embarrassed that he had such an awful thing tattooed onto his skin.

"sevy," you whispered as you delicately touched the mark, slowly running your fingers over it and tracing the shape of the skull and snake. snape looked back at you, his heart nearly bursting out of his chest.

"it's okay," you reassured him. "it's okay. i know you're not a death eater, anymore and-"

"it was burning," snape informed you through a tight jaw. "while we were dancing outside. something is going to happen."

your hand dropped from the dark mark, a flicker of anxiety coming to life inside of you. "i'm going to keep you safe, then," you promised him. "like i always have."

snape gave you an exasperated smile, watching as you resumed your movements on his dark mark. you caressed it before grabbing snape's arm, raising it to your lips before you slowly kissed the mark.

"i accept you for who you are," you breathed. "always have and always will."

snape shivered lightly when he felt your smooth lips on his warm skin; he hasn't felt the touch of a woman in so long, the last being when he was in his early death eater days and would go to the pubs looking for someone to cherish him for a night.

"thank you," snape whispered, his heart heavy with emotions while anxious words sat heavy on his tongue.

you placed his arm down and then embraced him, rubbing his back soothingly.

you knew that voldemort would be returning soon and you vowed to do anything to protect the man you loved.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter nine

you found yourself in 40 degree weather a couple of weeks later, shivering as you stood in large wooden structures with the students and professors.

the second task was retrieving something you lost from the bottom of the great lake. the four champions readily stood at the edge of the platform below, waiting for the gun to sound so they could jump into the water.

"here," snape said as he took off his cloak and gave it to you. you began to insist that he keep it on but snape refused, smiling as he watched you bundle yourself up in his cloak.

it smelled like old books and snape's scent and the warmth of his cloak quickly enveloped you.

"i think potter was raiding my private stores for gillyweed," snape bitterly said as he gazed down at the champions below.

"are you sure? or are you just assuming that?" you genuinely asked him.

snape gave you a stern look and then smiled, looking away as he began to chat with mcgonagall.

the gun fired, signaling the four champions to dive into the lake. the champions had an hour to retrieve what they lost, and you were highly considering returning to the warmth of your room to curl up by the fireplace and read a book.

to pass the time, you and snape talked about what plans you had for the summer.

"i'll be heading home to london and taking a bit of rest before starting my job at the ministry," you told snape. "how about you?"

snape shrugged. "probably just read books all summer and create some new potions. i'll visit lily's grave as well." snape still loved lily after all this time and was still traumatized by lily's death.

"i'll join you," you told snape. "i haven't visited her grave in a while."

"thank you. it'll be nice to have some company for once," snape smiled. "at spinner's end i'm always alone. i'm highly considering moving from there, though. that place has too many horrible memories for me."

"i understand. do whatever will make you happiest," you encouraged him.

you suddenly heard the voice of your dad and turned around, seeing him walk up to dumbledore.

you excused yourself and quickly walked over to him, eagerly greeting him.

"hello, y/n. i assume you've been following what i told you?" he asked you with a knowing look. although he was your dad, he always spoke to you in a formal manner, especially when working.

you nodded. "yes i have."

"good," your dad said as he adjusted his tie. he then looked over at dumbledore and then back at you, sighing as he said, "yet i do think it is time to inform dumbledore."

"inform me about what?" dumbledore suspiciously questioned him.

"about the return of vol- he who must not be named," you instantly piped in.

dumbledore's eyes widened as your dad confirmed, "as y/n said, he who must not be named is returning. a seer at the ministry told me that dark times are ahead of us, and the other seers and i put together the pieces and concluded that the dark lord will be returning."

"do you know when?" dumbledore worriedly asked him in a hushed voice.

he sadly shook his head. "i do not, unfortunately. however, i advise you to immediately tell the other professors and expect the unexpected."

you watched as dumbledore walked over to the other professors, whispering to them about what you and your dad had just told him. snape seemed unphased by the news as he had already known about it, but his eyes worriedly darted over to you as dumbledore spoke.

"are you going to be alright?" you asked snape as you and him walked away from the others to talk.

snape wordlessly nodded, anxiously gripping the railing of where you two stood. you didn't say anything more, staring down at the lake with him.

the second task ended sometime after, with harry tying with cedric diggory. snape wasn't feeling well, so you and him quickly headed back to the castle to relax.

"hello professor y/l- are you wearing snape's cloak?" ron gasped at you as you and snape passed by him.

you gave him a brief nod, hearing him laugh as he ran over to harry and hermione to tell them.

you and snape went to your room, where your lit the fireplace with a wave of your wand. gizmo sat on his perch, looking over at snape before flying towards him and settling himself onto his head. snape gave your owl a disgruntled look and then looked over at you for help.

"gizmo, don't do that to guests," you laughed, waving your owl back to his perch.

snape smiled warily at gizmo as he sat down in the white armchair by the fireplace, rubbing his hands together for warmth.

you sat across from him on your bed, the two of you listening to the crackle of the fireplace and the light whoosh of a winter's breeze right outside the window.

"when i officially assume my duties as an auror, i'm going to make it my top priority to make sure that no dark forces try to enter hogwarts," you confidently informed snape. "the minister will assign each auror to a specific task force, but i'll ask him if i can just-"

"don't risk your life for me," snape cut you off. you raised your eyebrows at him and he continued, "i don't want someone else that means a lot to me to die because- because of me."

"what do you mean because of you?" you questioned him, thinking hard to yourself. something clicked inside of your brain and you gasped. "were you responsible for lily's death?"

"no!" snape exclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest. "it's a very complicated story, but i guess i'll tell you now. this will only be one part of my story, though."

"when i was still a death eater, i was ordered by lord voldemort to eavesdrop on dumbledore and trelawney. all i heard was that a boy born at the end of july of that year with parents who thrice defied voldemort will cause his downfall. naturally, i told voldemort this, and at the time he only learned of two boys who met the requirements; harry potter and neville longbottom. so voldemort-"

snape stopped speaking, starting to become choked up. you rushed to his side and rubbed his back, gently pushing his hair out of his eyes. snape shakily inhaled a breath before slowly saying, "voldemort went after harry because he saw him as more of a threat to him. lily sacrificed her life for harry, y/n. that is why i feel responsible for her death."

snape was silent for a few moments before he completely broke down in your arms, his body shaking from the force of his cries. you held him closely and stroked his hair, whispering soothing words to him.

"you didn't know that the prophecy would be about harry. you shouldn't feel bad over this," you soothed him as you grabbed his hand and reassuringly squeezed it. "it's not your fault."

"it is my fault!" snape suddenly cried as he tore away from you. "i'm a terrible person, y/n! how could you even stand being around me? nobody likes me. i'm just a disgusting, unlovable person."

your heart broke at seeing snape so upset, racking your brain to find the right words to say. "you're none of what others say you are. you're you. you're not terrible. you're not disgusting. you're not unlovable. you're my sevy and i accept you and all sides of you. i need you to remember that."

snape hopelessly looked at you, tears trickling down his pale cheeks as he sighed. "i'm sorry," he murmured.

"don't be," you whispered as you wiped away his tears with your thumb. "i'm going to keep reassuring you and reminding you that you're perfect just the way you are. whoever disagrees is a reflection on them. not you, not me, or us."

us. a union of two. togetherness. that's what snape wanted- no, needed with you. he needed to become one with you. you were so good and gentle with him and he knew he was going to regret if he ever lost you again.

snape slumped onto your chest and sniffled, smiling when he felt your arms wrap around him.

he honestly didn't know what he did to deserve you.

as you held him, snape's heart began to flutter in the way it did when he saw someone he thought was attractive or he'd hear the voice of someone he cherished.

that voice being yours, of course.

snape wasn't entirely sure if he was starting to develop an attraction for you since he had a bad habit of doubting his emotions, but whatever he was feeling made him feel better at that moment.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter ten

"when are you going to confess to ol' snape, professor y/l/n? do i need to slip a love potion into his morning coffee for you?"

the voice of george weasley caught your attention. you had been walking down the corridor heading towards your classroom when the weasley twins started teasing the life out of you about snape.

"why is my personal life suddenly the business of you two?" you impatiently questioned george and fred.

"well, it's quite obvious that snape's got the hots for you. i think you two should just start going out," fred eagerly told you. "i mean, i don't know what you see in him, but george and i will support your decision!"

you rolled your eyes and told the twins to get to class. after they walked away, you leaned against the nearest wall to steady yourself.

you knew that you shouldn't trust the words of two notoriously mischievous students, but a lot of people have been speculating that snape is attracted to you.

"that's probably because they've never seen him get along with someone so well and you being a woman just makes them assume that there's more going on," your thoughts explained to you as you internally argued with yourself.

you also thought about how snape still loved lily; could he even possibly become attracted to you when he still loved her?

you sighed and shook your head, heading to your classroom to teach your next lesson.

meanwhile, snape was down in his classroom, teaching his sixth years about amortentia - the love potion. he brewed a batch of it to use as an example for his lesson, explaining that what someone smelled in the potion is what attracts them.

"what do you smell, professor?" one of his students asked him with a teasing grin.

snape looked down at the sheen, pinkish purple potion, sniffing it a bit. he instantly recognized what he smelled, which made his heart leap.

"coffee," he slowly started to answer, biting his lip. "rain and…perfume, floral perfume, to be exact."

he could smell your perfume. snape suddenly felt lightheaded and hastily told his students to start working on their assignments before he quickly sat down at his desk.

he stared at his reflection in an empty potion bottle sitting on his desk, astonished at what he had just discovered. he watched his face flush pink in his reflection, his mind spinning.

he hadn't felt an attraction for someone in so long, so naturally he was panicking. smelling your perfume in the amortentia ceased his doubts and only confirmed what he was truly feeling.

"professor snape, what is the-"

"not now, mr. whitlock," snape curtly interrupted his student. "just look it up in your textbook."

he didn't mean to snap at his student, but he was now so preoccupied in his thoughts that he was in no mood to answer questions.

after class, he nearly yelled when he saw you in the corridor, almost walking straight into a wall.

"you seem a little lost," you giggled as you caught up with snape to walk next to him.

"i'm not, thank you," he lowly said. "how was your class?"

"it was good, and yours?" you answered as you balanced the stack of textbooks that you carried in your hands.

"eventful, to say the least."

"how was it eventful, sev?"

snape suddenly stopped walking, his shoulders tensing as he tightly said, "i don't want to talk about it."

you slowly nodded, surprised when snape suddenly turned the other way and left your side.

you shrugged, figuring that his students had gotten on his nerves again. you just hoped that he was okay.

you spent your afternoon tutoring a few of your struggling students while snape spent his having a midlife crisis.

he intensely stared at his reflection in his bedroom mirror, testing himself to see if he smiled every time he thought about you.

he smiled each and every time, which led him to let out an exasperated noise as he gripped his hair.

his doubts began to creep up on him; what if you didn't share his feelings? what if you were only able to put up with his trauma and mistakes for so long?

snape didn't want to burden you at all. although he was extremely grateful for your kindness and unconditional acceptance, the last thing he wanted to do was become too much to handle.

after you finished tutoring, you decided to go visit snape. you knocked on the door of his classroom and he let you inside. the first thing you noticed were the overwhelming scents of strawberries, flowers, and old books.

"do you smell that?" you asked snape as you sat down across from him at one of the large brewing tables.

"what?" he said, sounding dazed as his eyes flickered away from your face.

"how do you not smell it? it's very strong… i smell strawberries, flowers, and old books," you said, raising your eyebrows when snape began to suddenly cough quite loudly.

you didn't notice the cauldron of amortentia sitting on his desk, which explained why you smelled those things and why old books was one of them.

snape smelled like a walking library since he was almost always reading or carrying a book with him. you always loved the smell of books, especially old ones, and you became a bit too excited when you found out that snape smelled just like them.

"sorry," snape apologized as he silenced his sudden bout of coughing. "my throat is a bit dry. would you like some water while i get some?"

before you could even answer, snape conjured up some water and glasses for the two of you, filling them with a wave of his wand before giving you your glass.

you were feeling suspicious about snape's sudden odd behavior; he kept staring pointedly at the cauldron on his desk, visibly panicked.

"what's in that cauldron?" you questioned as you stood up from the table. snape didn't reply, his eyes widening as he watched you approach the cauldron and look inside of it.

the scents became even stronger and you recognized the liquid inside, your growing smile instantly falling.

"oh," you blankly said. "oh."

you slowly turned to look at snape, realizing what exactly had just happened.

"i have to go," you abruptly announced, running out of his classroom without a second thought.

"fuck fuck fuck fuck," you mumbled to yourself as you rushed to your room. "i fucked up."

snape had to have noticed that you indirectly confessed to him via amortentia. who else smelled like old hooks? absolutely nobody. snape had to be aware of his own scent.

once you were in your room, you wallowed in your embarrassment, thinking of what exactly to do and say next.

"i can never talk to snape again," you thought out loud. "or see him again. i'm too mortified by what i've done."

gizmo watched you anxiously pace around your room with his big black eyes, flying over to you and landing on your shoulder.

you feebly smiled at your owl, giving him a pet before he gently nibbled on your ear, which was his way of showing affection.

"i don't know what i'm going to do, giz," you loudly sighed to your owl. "i should've never gone into his classroom."

gizmo rubbed his face on your cheek before flying off of your shoulder and out the window, presumably to the owlery to go eat.

as much as you wanted to avoid snape from now on, you knew that it would be immature and cowardly. you had to own up to your feelings whether you liked it or not. although you were extremely embarrassed, you didn't want to mess up your friendship again. you'd never forgive yourself if you did.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter eleven

you saw snape at dinner that night, awkwardly sitting down next to him.

snape watched you out of the corner of his eye, chewing slowly on his food.

after you had ran from his classroom, all he thought about was how you smelled him in the amortentia. he was still trying to process it.

"it's a nice evening, isn't it?" snape suddenly said, making you jump in your seat.

"yes, it is. for once it's not freezing cold," you said rather quickly. "anywho, the third and final task is approaching. are you excited?"

"i suppose i am. it just means getting back to our normal schedules after it's over," snape said as he swallowed his food. "i'm not necessarily too fond of change."

"change can be challenging, but what matters is how we approach it and deal with it," you advised. "for example, if any sort of change occurred soon, i would approach it positively and with open arms."

you were badly trying to allude to your indirect confession from earlier; if snape felt the same, you'd gladly accept that change to your life.

"i've never understood how you've always been able to be so positive," snape sheepishly admitted. "isn't it difficult?"

you nodded. "it can be, but i myself would rather stay away from any and all negativity for the sake of my sanity."

snape felt slightly envious as he listened to you since he wanted to learn how to be more positive, yet his outlook on life and his circumstances have unfortunately always been grim.

"if only we lived in a perfect world. no wars, no death, nothing negative," you continued in a sad voice. "but you have to take the bitter with the sweet."

"but you have to take the bitter with the sweet." something clicked in snape's head when you said that. it made him realize that no matter how bitter the outcome might be whenever he decides to tell you how he felt, the sweetness of being attracted to you would still remain.

"i feel like i've only experienced bitterness in my life, but i have to admit that you've provided me with sweetness," snape shyly said as he picked at the food on his plate with a fork.

"like i've said, you deserve every ounce of goodness in this world," you beamed. "you are truly worthy of such wonderful things."

you and snape looked up at each other then, your eyes meeting as you two smiled at each other.

snape continued to look at as he tried to spoon some tomato soup into his mouth, completely missing his mouth. the soup spilled onto his robes and he cursed, frantically wiping his clothing with his napkin.

you laughed quietly, shaking your head and grabbing your napkin to help wipe his robes.

snape was embarrassed, avoiding eye contact with you as you helped clean him up.

"you'll need to give them a wash," you told snape as you watched the red stain on his robes only sink further into the fabric. "i'm assuming you have another pair of robes to wear until then?"

snape nodded, looking down at the stain with a pout. "my entire wardrobe consists of robes and the occasional scarf and sleepwear."

you smiled and patted his chest, sitting back in your seat. snape placed a hand over where your hand had been, the ghost of your touch lingering on his clothing.

after dinner, snape carefully studied his batch of amortentia, the scent of your perfume even stronger now. the smell was overwhelming yet pleasant to snape, and he found himself basking in the scent as he read some of his students' essays.

he washed his robes later that evening, looking through his wardrobe. he saw a dark gray scarf, grabbing it and running his fingers over the soft fabric. he hadn't worn it in a while and decided to wear it on his evening stroll through the hogwarts grounds.

snape changed into clean robes and his scarf before heading out into the evening. it was a cool and clear night, a pale crescent moon shining like a silvery claw in the night sky. owls flew overhead on their way to and from the owlery.

anape went on these walks whenever he needed to clear his head, but the thought of you remained stagnant on his brain. he sighed and made his way down past hagrid's hut, walking along the edge of the forbidden forest.

"severus?" your voice softly said from behind him.

snape turned around to see you standing nearby, wearing a long white coat over your lilac robes.

"good evening," he greeted you with a nod. "what are you doing out here so late?"

"i could ask you the same thing. i just came to clear my head," you explained as you walked over to snape to walk next to him.

"i came for the same reason," he smiled as he looked over at you. "i like your coat."

you looked down at your coat and stuck your hands inside the pockets, the thick fabric instantly warming them. "thank you. i like your scarf."

snape ran a hand over his scarf as he said, "oh, this old thing? i guess it's okay, but it does keep me warm. thank you, though."

you nodded, admiring the beauty of the sky and the tall, dark sycamore and pine trees of the forbidden forest.

"have you ever been inside the forest? i know it's a dumb question since it's forbidden to enter, but i'm curious," you said, breaking the silence between you and snape.

"only a handful of times," snape truthfully admitted. "it was terrifying. i had decided to take care of magical creatures as an elective class in my third year since none of the other elective classes seemed interesting. i encountered a lot of strange and creepy creatures, but the class was actually very helpful when it came to figuring out which properties of a certain creature would be best for potion making."

"what sort of properties?" you curiously asked him, genuinely interested in what he had to say.

"for example, the beautification potion requires unicorn hair and fairy wings. it makes the drinker very beautiful, but i don't think everyone needs to drink it," he casually explained as he swallowed nervously.

"i agree. there are many beautiful people out there. i can see why someone would want to take the potion, though, especially if they wanted to feel less insecure or something," you thoughtfully replied.

"you know, i do know a woman who's a perfect example of someone that doesn't ever need to take the potion. she's stand-" snape abruptly stopped speaking in the middle of his sentence, a sudden harsh cold washing over the two of you.

you stopped walking, pulling your coat closer around your body and shivering. "what were you saying, sev?" you asked him as your teeth began to chatter.

snape didn't reply, slowly drawing his wand from his coat as the coldness only increased. he studied the atmosphere around him, searching for any sign of a winter's breeze that could be causing such a sudden change in temperature.

you suddenly felt very sad and hopeless, your chest tightening. "i don't think something's right," you worriedly told snape as you drew your wand. "we should go-"

you were cut off by your own scream when a dementor suddenly swooped down on you from behind, grabbing ahold of you and coming face to face with you, its chilly breath crawling across your skin.

snape gasped and raised his wand at the dementor, fearfully watching as it began to suck your soul out of you.

"expecto patronum!" snape shouted, a glowing doe shooting from the tip of his wand. the doe charged towards the dementor, quickly chasing it away. you fell to the ground with a cry, landing hard on your hands and knees.

"y/n!" snape exclaimed as he ran over to you. the doe circled over the two of you before disappearing, leaving behind a faint sparkle in the air. "oh my god, are you okay!?"

"yeah," you weakly replied, looking up at snape as you rolled onto your back. "everything hurts."

"oh god, okay-" snape panicked as he helped you up, picking you up without hesitation. you hooked your arms around the back of his neck and clung onto him, sobbing quietly into his neck.

"it was so scary," you bawled as snape hurried back inside the castle, heading straight to the hospital wing. "i don't know why it went after me. that's never happened to me before. it felt like all of my happiness was being sucked away..."

snape tightened his hold around you, snapping at a few students who were wandering the corridors past their curfew. he took points from their houses, ignoring their wide eyes and loud gasps as they stared at snape carrying you.

"you're safe with me, y/n. dementors won't ever hurt you again," he soothingly whispered to you. "you're going to be okay."

snape was in tears by the time he arrived at the hospital wing, telling madam pomfrey about what happened.

"the dementor only attacked her for a few moments and she fell very hard to the ground after it let her go," snape rambled as he watched madam pomfrey ease you onto a hospital bed. "she's going to be okay, right??"

"yes, severus, she's going to be okay. i need to check for anything that might be sprained or broken, but she will be okay," pomfrey reassured snape as he anxiously paced by your bed. "how high did she fall from?"

"about a foot," snape replied as he quickly grabbed a chair from the other side of the room and promptly sat down next to your bed. "i know that's not very high, but she fell very hard and-"

"severus, she will be okay," pomfrey reminded him. you looked over at snape and smiled at him, placing your hand on his.

"she's right. i don't think i have too many injuries," you mumbled to him as pomfrey checked your wrists and ankles for anything sprained or broken. "stay with me?"

snape nodded, vowing to stay with you the whole night. pomfrey concluded that you only had a sprained wrist and a scraped knee. you were feeling very lightheaded and nauseous, so you were advised to stay in the hospital wing overnight.

snape's panic and fear ebbed out the discomfort he had felt when the dementor appeared, but he clearly remembered how it felt like all of his happiness had been snatched away.

snape couldn't sleep, watching you doze off as he slowly stroked your hair. he didn't want to take his eyes off of you, paranoid that a dementor would appear at any moment.

you turned over in bed, facing snape now. you snuggled your face into your pillow and shuddered, sleepily reaching around for your blanket with your eyes closed.

snape pulled the blanket over you, making sure it fully covered you. you smiled in your sleep and stilled, sighing contently.

snape smiled too, slowly placing a hand on your cheek. your skin was still cold from the dementor and it made his heart hurt to think that such a horrible thing happened to you.

snape leaned forward in his chair, swiping your hair off of your forehead before he delicately placed his lips there, kissing your forehead softly before he pulled back.

you stirred and mumbled something in your sleep; you were dreaming of snape, specifically about how strong his arms were and how protectively he held you.

"sevy," you mumbled. "need you."

snape's heart skipped a beat, his hand dropping from your cheek. you need him? his mind went two ways; into the gutter and into a more innocent, wholesome place.

"like you so much," you sleepily confessed as you rolled onto your back, yawning.

snape's heart skipped a beat again and he placed a band over his chest, listening to the echo of his heartbeat in his ears. he's always known of your habit of talking in your sleep; one time during your first year at hogwarts, you invited lily and snape to your house for a sleepover during christmas break. snape distinctly remembered hearing you mutter something in your sleep about the shepherd's pie that you had for dinner earlier that evening.

snape sat back in his chair, his body pulsating with excitement. however, the excitement was quickly replaced by guilt. he felt guilty for hearing your confession since you weren't aware that you had done it, and he began to worry that he was somehow taking advantage of it.

he shook his head and tried his best to get comfortable in his chair, making himself go to sleep before more guilt could consume him.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter twelve

you woke up the next morning feeling a bit better, smiling when you looked over and saw snape still by your side.

he was asleep, slumped down a bit in his chair with his head lolling to the side.

you started to get out of bed, wincing and stopping when your wrist began to ache. madam pomfrey walked in and you told her about how your wrist still hurt.

"you'll need to wear a splint for a couple of weeks, then," she told you as she steadied your wrist and began to slide the splint onto your wrist. "it'll help prevent further damage, but make sure to take it easy."

you thanked her, watching her smile softly at snape sleeping before she left again.

you checked your watch, realizing that breakfast would start in about thirty minutes. you didn't feel very hungry though as you were still shaken up by the dementor attack.

snape moved in his chair a little, his eyes fluttering open. he sleepily smiled at you and sat up, yawning.

"did you sleep okay?" you asked him as you sat across from him on your bed.

"i did. did you?" he replied, pushing his hair out of his face and yawning again.

"i guess so. i had some very vivid dreams," you laughed quietly as you looked down at your splint. "thank you for staying with me overnight, by the way."

snape noticed your splint and frowned at it. "of course, y/n. i didn't want to leave you here alone."

you flashed him a twinkling smile before getting out of bed, stretching your arms and legs. your back popped and you moaned in relief, rolling your neck and shoulders.

snape stood up and stretched as well, contemplating whether or not to tell you that he heard you talking in your sleep. he knew that if he never told you, he'd never be able to become more than just friends with you.

"let's go," you told snape once you had finished stretching. "i want to go get some fresh air."

snape hastily nodded and left the hospital wing with you, figuring that he'd just have to tell you at another time. you and snape stepped out onto the grounds, staying close by the castle.

the morning was dewy and a bit cold, like it had rained overnight. in the distance you could see the giant maze being magically set up in preparation for the third task.

"i can't believe that the tournament is ending already," you sighed to snape. "although it's been stressful, it was fun to watch."

"it wasn't fun when the dragon's tail nearly hit us," he deadpanned.

you giggled and leaned your head on his shoulder, snuggling up to him to get warm. snape suppressed a loud shout of excitement when you did that, protectively wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"i'm craving coffee," you suddenly announced.

"black coffee?" snape hopefully asked.

"sure, why not?"

before it could get any colder, you and snape went back inside. although you hadn't been outside for long, you already felt better.

you still weren't feeling hungry so you just grabbed a coffee from the kitchen, graciously thanking the house elves before you and snape headed to your room.

"are you not going to eat?" snape wanted to know as he sat down next to the fireplace.

you shook your head. "if i do eat, it probably won't be until later. all i can stomach right now is coffee." you then took a long sip of your coffee to emphasize your point.

"i'm surprised that you enjoy dark roasts," snape commented as held his hands in front of the fireplace to warm them. "you seem more like a vanilla latte type of girl."

"are you saying that because i have a very soft and gentle aesthetic?" you chuckled.

"well- yes," snape coyly replied. "you remind me of a lot of soft and gentle things, in fact."

that piqued your interest and you eagerly sat down next to him, leaning forward and nodding for him to continue.

"well, you remind me of tulips," he sheepishly said, rubbing the side of his face. "and clouds. strawberries too, since i know you like them. perfume too, of course. floral perfume."

"well, floral perfume is what i wear all the time, so it's natural that reminds you of me," you blushed, biting your lip. "wanna know what scent reminds me of you?"

snape nodded snd you simply said, "old books."

snape's eyes widened, remembering how you had ran out of his classroom after saying that you could smell old books. he also happened to have amortentia sitting on his desk at that time.

snape gulped and asked, "well, want to know something interesting?" you nodded.

"i heard you say something in your sleep last night."

snape wasn't thinking straight, deciding to risk it all and just tell you everything.

"and what was that?" you quietly uttered, your room gradually becoming a bit too warm for your liking. the combination of the heat on your cheeks and the heat coming from the fireplace had you feeling hazy.

snape greatly hesitated, knowing he'd need to be straightforward with you in order to get anywhere.

"that…that you need me, y/n. i heard you say that you like me," snape stated so quietly that you almost didn't hear him.

you nearly fell off of your chair, steadying yourself as you proudly informed him, "well, it's true."

you bit your bottom lip so hard that it began to hurt, having no idea where this sudden boost of confidence and boldness came from.

snape's breath quickened, lightly gripping the armrests of the chair and carefully declaring, "i smelled your floral perfume in the amortentia, just like how you smelled my scent before you left my classroom."

you released your lip from your teeth, your lips parted as you breathily answered, "yes, sev. it's true."

the tension in the room was already growing, ascending to the climax of the moment.

"i…" you didn't finish your sentence, watching as snape's face came closer and closer to yours before his lips finally graced yours.

the flutter in your heart only increased when snape's lips met yours, only being able to focus on the feel of his lips; they were rough and a little dry and you could taste the slightest hint of spearmint on his breath.

snape's hand bunched up your hair on the back of your head, holding your face closer to his as his other hand found its place on your hip.

snape pleasantly invaded all of your senses; you felt intoxicated by his scent, his lips, and the little sounds of content he was making.

your lips eagerly moved with his, your hands clutching the front of his robes. snape's breath softly tickled your chin and he hummed, tracing random shapes into your hip as he placed n arm around you to pull you in more.

you slowly slid onto his lap, straddling him and running your fingers through his hair. snape gasped lightly into the kiss, holding your waist as he pulled away for a moment to breathe before claiming your lips again with his.

your ears fully tuned into the sound of the crackling fire and yours and snape's breathing, your nose picking up every trace of snape's scent and just him.

snape pulled away moments later, his chest gently rising and falling as he gazed at you. you licked your lips a few times, still feeling the touch of his mouth.

snape cupped your cheek and pecked your lips, smiling as he whispered, "that was lovely."

you giggled and hid your face in the crook of his neck, kissing over where his pulse point was and feeling his heart quickly beating against your mouth.

snape hugged you tightly against him, leaving small kisses along your hairline. the two of you didn't say anything much after that, enjoying each other's presence and the joy of that moment.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter thirteen

just a couple of days later and the death of barty crouch sr., whom you had spoken to several times before during your auror training, rocked your world. you were shocked and saddened by the news, yet it also put you on further high alert for the events to come.

"i'm scared," you quietly confessed to snape as you and him headed down to the stadium for the third and final task. "so many things can happen."

"i know, y/n. honestly, i'm scared too, but i'll make sure to keep you safe and sound," he promised you, his hand brushing against yours as you and him walked.

you grabbed his hand and held it, putting on a calm demeanor as you waved to your fellow professors and greeted them.

they all quickly noticed you and snape holding hands but didn't say anything, simply smiling at the two of you as you all sat down inside the stadium.

the maze loomed nearby, the hedges thick and tall and hiding who knows what inside. your grip on snape's hand tightened, a telltale sign of you becoming overly anxious. snape noticed and wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping you close.

you barely heard dumbledore explain the rules of the third task, too focused on trying to keep your anxiety under control.

the third task began and you allowed yourself to relax a little, watching the maze practically swallow up the four champions as they walked inside.

"who do you think is going to win?" snape asked you in an attempt to get your mind on something else.

"harry, hopefully. he's very brave and deserves this victory," you said as you scooted closer to snape, nearly on his lap at this point. "cedric diggory has been doing very well too, though."

snape nodded, massaging your waist absentmindedly. "whatever happens, everything will be okay," he whispered to you, and you knew he wasn't referring to the tournament anymore.

you sighed and sadly placed your head on his shoulder, a habit that you recently developed. it made you feel safe whenever you did that, since it allowed you to become physically closer to snape.

about ten minutes into the task, red sparks shot up from the maze, signaling that someone needed help inside the maze.

a few professors cautiously made their way inside the maze. snape held you back before you went to help, telling you that you needed to allow yourself to fully relax.

it was boring waiting for a champion to come out of the maze, so you struck up conversations with snape and the students around you to pass the time. the students were hesitant to talk to snape because of how he's treated them in the past, but snape actually got a few words out of them, mostly by telling them what their next potions lesson would be about.

you honestly lost track of time, too focused on conversing and laughing with those around you to notice the fear stricken expression on snape's face. he suddenly drew back from the conversation, gripping his left forearm as he gritted his teeth.

"sev? what's wrong?" you asked him with great concern as you put your full focus on him.

"it's burning!" he answered you in a panic as he held his foreman harder, cursing.

your stomach dropped and you frantically looked around, expecting to see voldemort swooping down on the stadium. all you saw were viktor krum and fleur delacour being escorted from the maze and back to their respective headmasters.

there was a beat of silence before harry suddenly appeared on the grass by the stands, clutching the triwizard cup. next to him laid cedric diggory, staring lifelessly up at the sky.

everyone began to cheer and clap, the cheerful tune of the hogwarts march joining the sounds of the crowd. however, the joyful mood quickly dissipated when fleur delacour suddenly screamed and dumbledore noticed that harry was sobbing.

you watched dumbledore rush over to harry, attempting to pull him away from cedric's body as harry sobbed out protests. dumbledore finally let go of him, bending down to his level as harry cried out, "he's back! voldemort is back! cedric asked me to bring his body back, i couldn't leave him there!"

dumbledore's eyes widened in horror, looking down at cedric and just now realizing that he was dead.

you and snape immediately rushed down to the grass, joining dumbledore and harry. those still in the stands were too stunned to move, shock written across their faces as they all watched harry sob and clutch onto cedric.

amos diggory, cedric's father, came running over to his son, wailing out, "that's my son!! my boy!!!"

"harry, come with me," you gently told him as you grabbed his arm, pulling him away from the scene.

"no!" he shouted at you, trying to break free of your grasp. "i have to stay with him!"

your heart broke seeing harry so distraught, but you knew that you couldn't just leave him here. you exchanged a tearful look with snape before you took harry with you out of the stadium, trying your best to soothe him.

snape found you in your office with harry. you were giving harry warm tea and wrapping a blanket around his shoulders. snape was panicking, neglecting the searing pain in his forearm as he rushed over to you and harry.

"are you alright?" snape quietly asked harry as he looked down at him.

harry looked up, surprised to see snape there. he quickly shook his head and sniffled loudly, his body trembling as he tightly clutched onto the cup that held his tea.

snape placed a hand on harry's shoulder for a moment before pulling back to look at you, instantly escorting you to the side to whisper in your ear, "i have to go soon."

"go where? you can't leave now!" you gasped, looking over snape's shoulder at harry, who was blankly staring down at his feet.

"i have to go, y/n!" snape shouted in frustration. you flinched, murmuring out an apology.

"no, it's fine," snape whispered as he kissed your temple. "i'm sorry. just- just be safe, okay? i'll be back."

you silently nodded, giving him a tight hug before he left your office in a hurry.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

chapter fourteen

the atmosphere at hogwarts after cedric's death was painfully solemn.

final exams and all other school activities were canceled because of the recent events. snape had returned late that night of cedric's death, refusing to tell you where he had gone and what he had been doing. this frustrated you greatly, but you didn't press him for any more information.

everyone gathered in the great hall on the last day of the school year to give a heartfelt speech about cedric's life and death.

when dumbledore mentioned that cedric died at the hands of voldemort, snape's hand found yours and securely held it. you squeezed his hand, wiping away your tears with a tissue. you felt lost, unsure of what was to come next for hogwarts and the wizarding world in general.

you sadly packed your bags later that day, knowing you were going to be replaced by another professor at the start of the next term. you were going to miss teaching and miss your students, but you still had your job at the ministry to look forward to.

"why are you packing?" snape casually asked you as you and him stood in your room later that day.

"did you forget that i'm leaving?" you tearfully asked him, sniffling loudly.

snape shook his head. "no, but i did ask dumbledore if you can live here at the school. he said you can stay in my room with me."

you dropped the sweater that you were in the middle of folding, running over to snape and throwing your arms around him.

"gosh, sev. what would i do without you?" you mumbled as you kissed his cheek.

"probably be miserable," he teased, patting your back. "i just didn't want us to be separated, especially not now with voldemort being back."

you sighed happily and hugged him tightly, feeling so grateful for snape and all he's done for you.

you moved your stuff into snape's room, immediately claiming the left side of his bed as yours and cuddling him the moment he laid down.

snape was touch starved so he gladly accepted your cuddles, laughing when you practically enveloped yourself in his cloak as you laid beside him.

"i wonder who's going to teach defense against the dark arts in september," you sighed as you laid your head on snape's chest, keeping his cloak around you.

"whoever it is, i bet they won't be half as good as you," snape reassured you as he combed his fingers through your hair. "you're a great teacher and you'll be an even greater auror."

"thank you, handsome," you smiled as you left a kiss on snape's cheek. snape let put a strange, squeaky noise when you called him handsome, blushing furiously as he looked away.

"you're very handsome. in fact, you're the most handsome man i've ever met," you giggled as snape hid his face in his pillow, clearly embarrassed. "it's true, sev."

snape looked up at you and cracked a smile, kissing the side of your head repeatedly. he then rested his head on your chest and you played with his hair, holding him as the two of you became comfortably wrapped in his cloak.

as you laid with snape, your only thoughts were of what would happen next. with voldemort back, you were unsure of how safe you and everyone else in the wizarding world would be.

[cascader]

nah she didn't

a jily drabble | canon-compliant, rated g

thank you for the snippet tag @kay-elle-cee and i raise you a drabble ;)

read below or on ao3!

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I remember that once — years ago, now — Mary asked me what it felt like to be in love. She wanted to be a writer; she was looking for something poetic, I’m sure. 

I told her that I felt unlike anything I’d experienced before. It was early days yet, then. I didn't have any other words for it. I remember her face — open, earnest, curious. Young. We were so young.

I know love now, like an old friend. Like my very best friend. 

I feel so unbearably fond. Like I’m filled up to the brim with it, so overwhelmed that it pours into every part of me — smiles that I can no longer conceal, words of adoration I’ve never fathomed saying before, a balm on any wound. Whatever happens, James lives and breathes and I love him.

It’s ironic, I know, that I can no longer bring myself to be truly angry with a man I used to so want to hate. Maybe it’s because we’re at war, and the way I love him is my last line of defence. Maybe we would be this way in every life, in any bodies. No matter what he does, no matter how worked up I get — there it is, under it all. So unbearably fond. He’ll ask sometimes, a little bit laughing and a little bit wary, when he’s done something too reckless — are you mad at me? It’s hard to tell. And I say I’m trying to be, but I can’t quite manage.

This is a love so expansive it scares me sometimes. It nestled in my chest one day when I wasn’t looking. It grew, quietly, nurtured by his sunlight and his warmth. Then it grew loudly, curling up my spine, intertwining with my nerves, through every vein and every cell until I was alight, and aware, and sure, and I pulled him out of class with a lie I didn’t even try to make believable so that I could be near him, in awe that he was real, and tell him that I loved him. 

Love pressed outward even when I was certain it could grow no more. It did not ask my ribs and my vertebrae to make room; instead, it settled in their cavities as if God or evolution had designed the spaces in my spine just for love to keep me upright when nothing else could. 

I can’t tell Mary about this kind of love now. She’s dead now. She died never having felt it for herself. 

I cried until I threw up when I heard about her. 

“Hello, love,” the voice of the man himself says in my ear, from behind, and I startle inches off the couch. 

He grins. I don’t try to hide mine.

He settles down onto the cushion next to me. He leans his head on my shoulder. He has to slouch so far to reach it that his legs extend halfway across our small rug. It’s red and green. Turning the leaf on interhouse unity? I’d asked when he brought it home. No, he’d laughed. Like Christmas, and like you. As far as I can guess, that was the night we’d conceived Harry. That rug is where Harry took his first steps.

I am so unbearably fond of him.

“Happy Halloween, Lily,” James says. I smile. I lean until my head meets his. I close my eyes and breathe. I am still in awe that we are real. 

So unbearably fond. So, so in love. 

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tagging @sunshine-lover @sunshinemarauder if y'all wanna sunday snippet