#and finally after everyone else is gone she kills herself

[doctorweebmd]

i want to write something new :(

[happilykrispypirate]

Bloodstained Petals

Pairings: Mattheo Riddle x fem!reader

Warnings: Swearing, unrequited love, mentions of blood and throwing up, violence, death, and my shitty writing.

Summary: The Hanahaki Disease is a rare disease that causes flowers to grow in the person's lungs. The only way to stop it from killing the person, is to get the one they're in love with, to fall in love with them.

-

Y/n sighed as she watched as Mattheo make an advance on the girl he's been keen on for the last 2 months.

Theo sighed as he saw the look on the girl's face. He had known about her love for the dickhead since the beginning.

Y/n, you're making things harder for yourself," He finally spoke up.

"What's wrong with me?" She asked the question she's been asking him for years now.

"There's nothing wrong with you, love," Theo said, "He's just a fucking idiot."

Y/n sighed again, looking down at her food, feeling too sick to even think about eating anything.

"I'm going to bed, I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast," She said before getting up and walking out.

"I need the room tonight," Mattheo said when he came back to the table, "Where's Y/n?"

"You're a fucking idiot," Theo said also getting up to try and catch up with her, but she was already gone.

-

Y/n woke up in the middle of the night, coughing up her lungs. She ran to the bathroom to get her something to drink so that she'd stop coughing.

After downing a glass or two of water, her stomach churned. She quickly bent over the toilet and threw up.

Her heart sank with fear as she saw the blood and the petals. She then started coughing again, more petals.

Next thing she knew she stormed to the Gryffindor common room, ignoring the fat lady's whining about waking her up, and she ran straight to Hermione's room.

"Thank Merlin, you're awake," Y/n said.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked worriedly as she looked at the panicked girl.

As if on cue another coughing fit started and petals landed in het hand.

"Are those?"

"Yeah."

"Oh my God," Hermione said, "You have the Hanahaki Disease."

"You say that like I'm supposed to know what it means," Y/n said as she threw the petals into the bin.

"Hanahaki Disease, is caused by unrequited love."

Y/n stayed silent. She brought this upon herself... falling in love with Mattheo.

"It's very rare. It causes a flower to grow in your lungs. The only way to stop it, is to..."

"Is to what?" Y/n asked, looking at Hermione.

"Is to get the person you're in love with, to fall in love with you. They can't just say I love you, and it'll be gone. They have to actually mean it," She said.

"I'm doomed," Y/n said as she sat down on Hermione's bed.

"Y/n," Hermione said. Her words were cut short when Y/n went into another coughing fit. She patted Y/n on the back, to help in whatever way she can.

Y/n then ran to the bathroom to throw up. Hermione ran after her to hold her hair back.

"We have to get you to Madam Pomfrey," Hermione said.

"No, I don't want anyone else to know about this," Y/n said, "Especially not Mattheo or Theo."

"Y/n if you don't do something, you're going to die," She said.

Y/n didn't answer her...

-

Over the next few days everyone noticed that she looked a bit sick. Professor McGonagall had sent her to her dorm after she had ran out of the classroom for the third time that lesson.

So, Y/n, just laid there in her bed and stared up at the ceiling. Her room littered with petals.

Theo had tried to come by a few times every day, but she made sure he couldn't come in.

She had Hermione put a charm on her door after Pansy walked in and saw Y/n coughing up petals. Y/n tried to lie her way out of, but Pansy knew immediately what it was. So now, the only people who can enter her dorm, was Pansy and Hermione.

As Y/n laid on her bed, she heard a soft knock on her door. She thought it was Theo, but when the spoke she knew she thought wrong.

Matheo.

"Y/n, I'm just checking in on you. Are you alright?" He was silent for a few moments, "Theo says you won't even let him in."

"Please, I need to know if you're alright," He said, "You're my best friend, I care about you."

The word 'friend' echoed in her mind for the rest of the day. She was only pulled out of her thoughts when she heard Theo yelling at Hermione.

"Why can't I fucking see her?" He yelled.

"Theo, she's not feeling well," Hermione said, "She said she doesn't want to get you sick."

"You and Pansy are in there every day!" He yelled again.

"Hermione," Y/n spoke, her voice raspy. Her throat was raw because of the coughing. She was weak due to the amount of blood she lost and the lack of oxygen.

Hermione's head poked through the door, "Let him in," Y/n said. She knew she didn't have a lot of time left, so she knew she had to tell him.

Hermione nodded, glad that she was finally telling Theo.

Hermione closed the door and lifted her wand. A few moments later, she turned towards Theo and nodded her head towards the door.

Theo didn't hesitate to storm in. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw how sick his best friend was.

He saw the petals, and immediately knew about what she had and why she had it.

"Holy fuck, love," Theo said as he knelt down next to her.

"Hey Theo," She smiled weakly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. Tears were in her eyes; he feared for her life.

"I didn't want to worry you too much," She said.

"You still worried me, love," He said as he took her hand and kissed it.

"I'm sorry," Y/n said, her eyes starting to droop.

"Get some rest, love," Theo said, "I'll be here when you wake up."

Y/n took her hand out of his and placed it on his cheek. A tear fell from his cheek, she wiped it away with her thumb before she closed her eyes.

Theo stayed for a few minutes. He thought, how could someone do this to her.

The anger consumed him. He made sure Y/n was comfortable before he stomped off to find Mattheo.

-

He found Mattheo with that girl. He pulled him up by the collar and pinned him to the wall.

"You motherfucker, you did this to her. She's dying because of you're fucking selfishness," Theo spat in his face.

"What the fuck man?" Mattheo said, "Who's dying?"

Theo said nothing, he dropped Mattheo on the floor before dragging him to Y/n's dorm.

Theo opened up the door and saw Hermione standing over you. She had her wand out, she was examining you.

"Y/n?" Mattheo said. His heart sank. He saw the blood, the petals. He knew.

It was because of him?

"This is all your fault. She's been in love with you for a long time, but you didn't even bother thinking about her. You made it seem like you love her but then you go after other girls," Theo said.

"I've always loved her. I just thought she didn't love me," Mattheo said.

"It's always been you."

They both looked up and saw that Y/n was looking at them. Or, Mattheo.

Mattheo went over to her, and crouched beside her bed.

"I'm so sorry I did this to you," He said, "I love you, I really do love you."

"I love you too, Mattheo," She said, smiling weakly at him. He leaned forward and planted his lips on hers. Neither of them caring about the blood and tears.

They both pulled away when another coughing fit started. Mattheo placed his hand on her back and rubbed circles.

"Why isn't she better?" Theo asked, "Shouldn't she be cured now?"

"I'm afraid, it's too late," Hermione said as tears ran down her cheeks. Pansy stood to the side, trying not to get lost in the tears.

Both the boys' hearts sank. She looked at them both.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," She said.

"It's alright, love," Theo said as he too crouched down next to her bed, taking her other hand.

"I'll always be with you," She said, "I love you both."

"No, don't say that, you're not dying," Mattheo said, "I finally got to tell you I love you. You're not leaving me now."

She smiled at him, tears running down her cheeks.

She let go of her last breath.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," Mattheo begged sobbing. He lifted her up and held her to his chest as he rocked back and forth, sobbing into her hair.

Theo sobbed as he held her hands. His best friend since childhood gone.

Hermione held Pansy as they both cried.

"Don't leave me, please, don't leave me," Mattheo's voice cracked as he begged with every sob.

He blamed himself, he was too late.

[cinnamoodles]

what are ur favorite anthony bridgerton five

hi! i'm assuming this says fics, and i am SO HONOURED that you trust me to recommend my favourite fics to you!

first up… the amazing and fantastic @fayes-fics, one of THE MOST skilled writers alive. she never misses!

some of my personal favs from her are:

➥ a beneficial arrangement [ ⭐️ ]

a marriage pact with a viscount. what could possibly go wrong?

➥ rescue and ruin

anthony rescues something for you… and it will likely lead to your ruin.

➥ the friends+ series

modern AU. series of fics that feature anthony & journalist!reader’s burgeoning relationship.

those are just a few of my favorites, but READ HER ENTIRE MASTERLIST! you will not regret it, promise.

secondly, a series of fics by the wonderfully talented @rubysunnday, and once again, be sure to read all of her masterlist!

➥ take my hand

as much as y/n appreciates anthony’s matchmaking efforts, it’s hard to accept them when he’s the only man she wants. luckily for her, a fall in the lake allows her to voice her feelings in more ways than one

➥ a long, long time

y/n has waited a long, long time for anthony bridgerton to finally decide to get married. but by the time he finally decides to find a wife, y/n has run out of time and anthony is suddenly faced with losing her to someone else.

➥ it’s a bad idea, me and you [ ⭐️ ]

y/n was ready to give her entire heart to anthony bridgerton. only for him to shove her aside in favour for sienna rosso. but, now, sienna is gone and despite what y/n keeps telling herself - anthony truly does own her heart.

now, for the queen of the modern!anthony au, @eleanor-bradstreet! some of my favorites from her are…

➥ gala

you attend a charity gala with your boss who really is too much trouble in a tux.

➥ locked out

when you find yourselves locked out of your house in the middle of the night, anthony has some ideas for how you can kill time.

➥ take me instead [ ⭐️ ]

you and anthony find yourselves in the middle of a bank robbery on an ill-fated day.

next we have @colettebronte, BRIDGERTON SMUT AUNTIE HERSELF WOOO!

(warning, these fics are VERY mature, and include BDSM and other possibly triggering material).

➥ rise and breathe

newly arrived back in london after a long journey across the mediterranean sea, you encounter a pathetically drunk viscount bridgerton the night he is rejected by sienna rosso. after a sobering morning on all counts, you sense that he is indeed lost and in need of a new purpose and direction. through submission and service, he may just find it.

➥ what (who) are you doing on new year’s eve?

a mysterious benefactor invites you to ring in the New Year with them.

➥ kinktober day ten: blindfolded

your tenth evening with your client. day ten for kinktober. I’m going with two prompts tonight, blindfolded and massage.

finally, we have some individual fics that stole my heart.

➥ diamonds and pearls by @multiharlot

diamonds and pearls do not make up for the lack of love in your marriage.

➥ enamoured by @dreamwritesimagines

everything you heard about matters of heart and desire told you the same thing; love could lead to heartbreak at best and disastrous results at worst. yet, you were convinced that everyone was wrong. they had to be, because love was supposed to make everyone happier, no confusion or pain in sight. regardless of how naive it sounded, you were sure that you were ready to fall in love and lose yourself in the infamous bliss. that assumption right there was a terrible mistake, though. you were nowhere near ready.

➥ right person, all the wrong times by @wwinterwitch

you and anthony have been in love with one another from the moment you met, but it seems as though nothing will ever happen between you. after you catch the attention of another gentleman, he realizes perhaps it's time to finally do something about his feelings.

➥ right in front of me by @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69

the only way he could rationally find a suitable wife was by removing love from the equation all together. courtship was game of jumping through hoops he really did not want to play, and he was a viscount. surely there would be a father with a more than suitable daughter he could simply ask for your hand and get it. or the one where your arranged marriage with anthony bridgerton isn’t a loving marriage… until it is.

➥ melt away by @healmydesires

the night you give your love and body to your husband.

➥ sham, pride, and illicit affairs by @peeterparkr

or, the story of how you rejected his proposal because you once loved him.

➥ enchanted by @imthebadguyyy

you and anthony don’t need words to converse.

➥ better man by @midnightfictionlibrary

anthony must rectify his rakish ways and wed, but he has a lot to think over if he doesn’t want to lose his dearest friend forever. 

➥ no longer in denial by @iwritefandomimagines

anthony has made no secret of not wanting to marry, despite it being more than clear that he is head over heels in love with you, his “best friend”. benedict decides he is fed up of anthony’s denial, and takes matters into his own hands — by inciting jealousy from his older brother.

➥ the language of flowers by @cinnamoodles (shameless self plug)

you and anthony have been friends for as long as you can remember, but what happens when his world turns upside down? will he open his heart and let the woman silently pining for him in?

AHH ok that was it, and these are the bridgerton fics i love with all of my soul. thank you so much for your ask, it was so nice to see all these wonderful fics again.

xo, lottie !

[lustsickforyou]

what side are you on?

sirius black x reader (romantic, to platonic) regulus black x reader (romantic, eventually) james potter x reader (if you squint)

summary: you were born into a pureblood family and taught a special ability since birth, you’ve been used your whole life and you start to want a change.

warnings: arranged marriage, abusive parents, talks of miscarriage, mentions of death, angst

a/n: basing the power off of a heart renderer from shadow and bone, so credits do that. i also added in a scene from call me by your name because i couldn’t resist. will be a multi part series. reader is slytherin.

part one , part two

Life hadn’t always been easy for you, it was something that seemed so normal at this point. You were born into a pureblood family, one of the sacred twenty eight. When your mother married your father they placed the expectation for her to bare his heir just as they did to everyone else. Your mother tried so hard to perform her duty, but pregnancy after pregnancy she had failed to do so, even though it wasn’t her fault. Each child that she had lost picked away at her soul, and she swore the last time she was pregnant that she would be done after that. She never even wanted kids in the first place.

That’s when you came along, a healthy daughter, but hardly what her husband had wished for. This daughter couldn’t carry on the family name. Your mother was so displeased with herself, the secrets the woman would share in whispers across the board got to her. So in attempt to save herself and her husband from their reputation being ruined, she made a deal with the devil. Tom Riddle himself. She swore that she would train her daughter to become a heart render at his own expense if he would marry her off to a respectable family. He, of course— agreed.

Heart renderers were rare, just like a legilimens. It was hard to perfect, but with you at home every day as a child and with lots of consequences if you did not perform to your mother’s liking, you mastered the art. You could do a plethora of things, both good and bad. You could make someone’s blood boil, get them to do whatever you wanted, get them to say things they would never normally say aloud. But you could also soothe a temper, calm someones heart rate, keep them warm. It was a blessing and a curse.

You were presented to Tom Riddle when you were eight, and he held up to his deal. Use you in exchange for a husband who had a well known name, that being Sirius Black. You two were to be married when you turn eighteen. The two of you spent a lot of time together at home, but rarely ever in school. He was a Gryffindor boy who was out of control, you were a Slytherin girl who kept to herself. Tom and his parents hoped this marriage would keep Sirius in line.

Many people at school feared you, in fact Dumbledore gave strict instructions for you to never use you powers in school. You understood this, followed the rules. The students didn’t understand, and would often say nasty things about you and your special abilities. How you were untrustworthy, that they needed to keep a distance from you for their own safety. You had never given them a reason to be scared, and yet here you were. Cursed with a power that only you saw could be good, but many found deceptive.

Now you were in your seventh year, used for your powers by Tom whenever he pleased, and Sirius had gone off the rails, leaving his family behind and the promise he gave to you along with them. Just before he left his home he came to you, he saw the good in you. Tried to convince you to run off with him for a better life, but you knew you couldn’t.

“Come with me, y/n.” he pleaded, looking down at you with hopeful eyes. You shook your head, stepping back from him. You wanted nothing more than to leave, to finally free yourself from not only your mother’s tight grip on you but Tom’s as well. “I can’t.” you whispered with tears in your eyes. Tom would kill you if you left, he had threatened it plenty of times when he noticed you grew weary of the things he made you do, the people he made you hurt. “Why?” Sirius tried to dig deeper, hopefully to make you realize that there was no reason why you shouldn’t go. “I can’t.” you repeated shakily. Everything in you was screaming to run, but you knew what Tom would do. He would hunt anyone you ever cared about, saving you for last before casting the unforgivable curse and take your life. Sirius stepped towards you. “Please.” he begged. You stepped back again, holding your hands up. The two of you turned your head when you heard footsteps coming down the hallway, you mother calling your name. You pushed him forward quickly. “Go.” you whispered with urgency. “Please come with me.” he pleaded. You held his arms in your hands and pushed him again. “Go.” you repeated but this time much more firm. With that he was gone, and you hadn’t seen him for months.

Now you sat by yourself at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. You looked down at the book Sirius gifted to you on your eighteenth birthday just days before he left. It was a muggle book full of poems, something James had shown to him. You two had each other’s backs in the hardest of times. You understood each other on a different level. When he would panic, you would soothe his heart rate. When you would cry he would be there to comfort you. You nervously tapped your finger on the table, turning to see Sirius enter the Great Hall with his friends. They called themselves the Marauders, proud of the shenanigans the four got up to. You didn’t like them, mainly because you were jealous of them. James Potter was from a pureblood family, but nothing like yours. They were loving and kind. Remus was a half-blood boy that was far too good for this world, and Peter was a half-blood as well who was quiet and reserved. They got along with each other so well, you wondered if that’s where Sirius ran off to. To be with them.

Sirius’ eyes scanned the room, and they landed on his brother Regulus. You knew it must’ve been hard for him to leave his brother behind, but then again they were completely different. Unlike Sirius, Regulus was fully devoted to his work with the Dark Lord. You and him rarely ever spoke, mostly because you thought he may be afraid of you. Sirius turned away and sat down with his friends, but you noticed how every so often he would look towards the Slytherin table. Suddenly he stood up, making some excuse to leave his friends, and headed off down the hallway. You took this as your chance to speak with him, standing up and chasing after him.

“Sirius!” you called after him and he stopped in his tracks, turning around with tears in his eyes. “How are you?” you asked politely. “Good.” he lied to your face, but he knew that you knew how he felt. You could hear his heart pounding in his chest, another perk to being a heart renderer. “I— I read the book that you gave to me. The muggle one.” you tried to change the subject, but you couldn’t drop the fact that he was upset. “The poems, they’re really beautiful.” you commented. Sirius only stared at you. “I’m sorry that you’re sad.” you said softly, you always had a way with your words. You knew he was upset about seeing Regulus after months apart, you knew it stung. “I’m saying that because I wanted to tell you that I’m not mad at you for leaving. Not at all.” you explained. You would’ve left too, so why would you ever be mad at him for doing what you couldn’t? “I love you, Sirius.” you breathed out. You didn’t love him in the way many would expect. Sure you had a crush on him as a kid, but you knew the two of you would never work out. You had love for him, though. You held out your hand for him to shake on a deal. “Stay friends?” you asked even though it was a lie. You couldn’t live a double life, that would only put him and yourself in danger. Sirius knew that too. “For life?” he questioned.

You must’ve been ten, maybe eleven— playing in the woods behind your childhood home. You would play there for hours with Sirius. It was a peaceful place, no parents to scold the two of you, just you and him always. You tripped over a rock, hitting your knees on the ground making you cry at the pain. “It’s okay, I’m here.” Sirius comforted you. “For life?” you asked and he nodded. “For life.” he confirmed.

“For life.” you smiled, and he took your hand to shake it. He pulled you in for a hug, signaling he knew it couldn’t happen. You hugged him back, and soon after he pulled away. He stared at you, his eyes flicking between both of yours. He cleared his throat before walking off, leaving you standing alone in the hallway.

—

Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter sat in the room of requirement. The year before Dumbledore recruited them to join the Order, a cause to fight for freedom and away from the grips of the Dark Lord. They had been tasked by Albus to speak with a wizard who worked under Tom Riddle, a man who knew anything and everything about their upcoming plans. The only problem was the Marauders were having a hard time figuring out a plan. Once they reached this man during the fall break, they wondered how they would get him to rat out his boss without force. They never had any ill intention, that included torturing this man into speaking. Well— Remus and James had no ill intent. Sirius understood how evil the Dark Lord was, and he wouldn’t draw the line at anything if it meant taking him down. Peter often agreed with Sirius.

“You know what would make this easier?” Remus asked, turning towards the group with folded arms. “What?” James sighed, rubbing his face in annoyance. They had been going back and forth with ideas for hours. They could dress up in a Death Eater’s uniform and pretend they were on his side, but that wouldn’t work. This man was smart enough to know who was and wasn’t apart of the Death Eaters. They could torture him, but that was off the table. They could simply just ask, but when would that ever work? “If we had a heart render.” Remus shrugged and Sirius shook his head. “Absolutely not, y/n is off the table and there’s no way we’re going to find a heart render in time.” he was quick to speak up.

“Why exactly is she off the table?” Remus had peaked James’ interest. “Because I know her, and her family. Her family is like mine but a million times worse.” Sirius explained. “I don’t know about a million—” Peter mumbled and Sirius shot him a glare, making him go quiet. Everyone stared at Sirius with begging looks. “I’m serious, she works directly under Voldemort. She wouldn’t take the shot to betray him even if she had the chance.” he recalled to when he pleaded with her to go with him, and she wouldn’t. “That’s why she was taught heart render powers from a young age, she was literally born to work for him.” Sirius continued. “It doesn’t help that she’s gorgeous.” James added which earned a punch to his arm from Sirius. “Okay, ouch.” James grumbled.

“Okay, so maybe she was born for it. But let’s look at it from her stand point. I mean she was born and taught by her sadistic mother, traded off like she was nothing. Maybe she had no other choice.” Remus tried to be understanding. Sirius had told them all about your story. James pointed at him with raised eyebrows in agreement. “I mean think about it, Sirius. She’s a pureblood Slytherin girl who chooses not to associate herself with the Death Eaters at this school. Evan Rosier, Barty Crouch Jr. She won’t even look at them. Maybe there’s some good in her.” Remus continued. Sirius scoffed. “Trust me, there’s not.” Sirius mumbled and stood up. “We’ll find another way, but y/n is not it.” Sirius said sternly and they all slowly nodded, all except for James. Soon after everyone went back to their dorm and headed to bed for the night. James laid awake, tossing and turning. He couldn’t get the idea out of his head, you could help them. He had been told no on a multitude of occasions, but when has that ever stopped him?

—

A week had passed and the four boys walked down the hallway after their classes, all heading for the Gryffindor common room. James turned towards them just as they passed the library, spotting you sitting by yourself inside. This was his chance. “I have to go to— bye!” he lied terribly, running off from them. “What was that about?” Peter asked and Remus laughed. “He probably saw Lily or something.” he teased. James rolled his eyes behind them.

James entered the library, hesitantly walking over to you. You were sitting quite peacefully reading your book. James pulled out the chair next to you. “Hello, y/n. Looking as beautiful as ever.” he complimented and you looked up from your book with a confused and annoyed expression. He stared back and after a beat of silence you finally spoke. “Okay.” you sighed, closing your book and grabbing your things to leave. “No wait, you don’t have to leave!” he spoke up and you turned towards him again. “I’m not a fool, Potter. You clearly want something.” you said in detest. “Okay, fine. I want something.” he finally admitted. “What’s that?” you questioned with an annoyed tone. “I want to know more about heart renderers. Everyone says their so bad but— you don’t seem all that bad to me. I’ve never even see you use it against anyone. Or use it at all.” he shrugged. “So what does someone of your nature do?” he asked. “I think you know.” you sighed. “There has to be some good to it, every horrible thing must have a balance.” James almost begged to know.

You finally gave in. “Okay— I can soothe someone’s temper, slow their heart and make them relax. Which clearly you need because I can hear your heart beating loudly.” you pointed out. “You can hear my heart?” he asked curiously. “I can hear everyone’s. Who is this Lily Evans by the way, every time someone says her name your heart beats quickly.” she observed. “Wait— how do you know that?” he asked. You rolled your eyes and finally set down your book. “When you walked in here Remus said Lily Evans, and your heart quickened in pace.” you teased.

“That’s not important.” James mumbled. “If my heart is beating fast then show me how you calm it.” he asked. “Show me how you can get someone to tell you anything just like Sirius says.” James was trying to gain her trust, to show her he wasn’t afraid like everyone else was. “I can’t, I’m not allowed to on school grounds.” you leaned back in your chair. “No one has to know.” James smirked and you stared at him for a second. He wasn’t lying, and he definitely seemed curious about your power. “Give me your hand.” you gave in. James held out his hand palm up. Your slim fingers trailed down his cold hand, everything seemed to suddenly move slow. His heart beat was loud in your ears, and once your fingers reached his wrist and you touched his pulse, it slowed down to a calming rate. “Tell me what you want.” you spoke softly, your buttery smooth voice being the only thing he could hear. He looked into your eyes, before opening his mouth to speak before he even had the chance to stop.

“I need a heart render, give you the chance to do some good in this world.” he answered honestly. You pulled away and thought for a moment. This was your chance, a safe distance away from Tom Riddle and your mother. This was your chance to finally do some good i with your power. You knew you could trust James, Sirius sure did. They were apart of the Order, something you had grown familiar with when Sirius would tell you about it late hours of the night. This whole thing, him needing a heart renderer, had to do with something like that.

“I’m in.”

—

James walked into the room of requirement for their weekly meeting, a proud smile on his face. “I found a heart renderer.” he said confidently. “What? How did you find—” Peter started but was quickly interrupted when you walked in behind him. “Y/N Y/L/N at your service.” you smiled and everyone had a shocked look on their face, Sirius was no exception. “Y/N Y/L/N?” Both Peter and Remus said aloud. You laughed, moving across the room to face all four boys. “I’ve never had that reaction before.” you smiled which quickly faded when you saw the look on Sirius’ face.

“What are you doing here?” he deadpanned. “I’m here to help.” you shrugged. “James here found me in the library and gave me the whole run down on your little issue here.” you looked towards James who still looked incredibly proud at his doings. “What the hell were you thinking, James? She’s dangerous!” Sirius yelled and you looked over at him with a hurt expression. “You didn’t seem to think so when you came to me to calm yourself down.” you exposed him and he glared at you.

“Listen, we could really use her help.” Remus interjected, and Sirius rolled his eyes. “I don’t mean this to come off rude, but how do we know we can trust you?” Peter asked and you looked at him now. “I mean— don’t you work for you know who?” he asked. “It was more like a limited partnership.” you explained without really having to say much. Everyone fell silent. “Listen, if I was really that devoted to Tom Riddle I definitely would not be helping you idiots get valuable information on him. Yet here I stand.” you held out your arms.

“Okay, so say we can trust you. How do we know you won’t rat us out.” Remus asked and you stared at him before sighing. “I have been used by him my whole life, and never have I been given the chance to actually use these abilities for the better benefit of actually helping people. I think the Order can do just that. I know you’re all suspicious of me, maybe you think I’m using my powers on you right now to trick you, but trust me— you would know.”

“She’s right, it’s like a whole other experience.” James laughed and they all turned quickly to look at him. “She used her powers on you?” Sirius asked in shock. “Of course she did, and let me tell you, whatever she did to me will definitely work on that guy we’re trying to talk to.” James defended your case, something you had never experienced before. “Thank you, James. That was really kind.” you smiled and he nodded. “Fine, but after this you’re done.” Sirius was still suspicious.

“Great! When do we start?”

[mulligans-tavern]

https://www.tumblr.com/doomed-to-wanda/747617028751474688?source=share

Inspiration above

TW death, grief

---

Five Funerals

They lose Fig first.

Comes with the territory when you're an archdevil - somebody's always looking to take your spot. "Don't worry about it," she says, opening a Planeshift to the recording studio. "It's just the usual rebellious fiends. Icythorz and Bolhondrus and the rest. I'll be back before you know it." She looks resplendent in black leather, the Unfaithable Bass slung across her back, riding the fiery Daymare surrounded in jagged red shards.

Adaine knows before everyone else, but can't believe the vision to be true until she learns that Ayda is gone, too. She scratched every memory of Fig out of her notes before starting over - it was too much pain to bear. The five of them know how it feels.

---5---

It's a few years before they take another hit. Another mission to the Mountains of Chaos, another world-ending calamity to be stopped because Who Else Is Going To Save The World? A small misstep, a miscalculation (six where there should be five, they're only five now) and suddenly the routine becomes deadly.

Riz takes the fall. "It's easier this way," he says, in his last moments. "I'll still see you." And he does. Agent Gukgak Jr., now, with some extra responsibility. But he still comes by. Sometimes. Every so often. Often enough.

---4---

Kristen is next. Only one thing could bring down the most gifted cleric of the age - sacrificing herself for her friends. Third time's the charm when it comes to death, it turns out.

Gorgug is the most hopeful that she'll come back, that she'll find a way again, like in the Nightmare Forest. But Adaine knows this is the end. Even Arthur Aguefort agrees. He quotes Alanis Morissette at her funeral. The followers of Cassandra pull out all the stops.

Adaine, Fabian, and Gorgug have their own ceremony at Ashgrove, next to the Gukgak family plot. It's quiet. Bucky cries into Ragh's shoulder. Aelwyn, Jawbone, and Gertie collect flowers. Tracker stays for a few minutes to say goodbye.

---3---

They quit adventuring after Kristen's funeral. And they don't lose anyone else for a long time. Riz still visits, every few years. They talk about the good old days, how silly it was that Baron was so terrifying when at the end of the day it was an honest conversation that finally did him in. There's rumours that Kristen has ascended to goddesshood herself - Adaine doesn't buy it. She's not the type to be revered.

They come out of retirement for the only reason they would - to bring back one of their own. They finally found Fig's soul, trapped in a ruby in the darkest levels of the Abyss. They can't ask anyone to come with them - it's too dangerous, it's too personal. It's missions like this that kill people.

And when it's all over, when Adaine carries Fabian's burnt, unconscious body back to Morded Manor, they have another funeral to plan.

Gorbag and Roz have already passed, and Wilma and Digby are too old to make preparations, so it falls to Jawbone to organize it. He knows they don't want a lot of fanfare. It's at Ashgrove again, just Adaine and Fabian and the Thistlesprings, and Aelwyn and Ragh. Sandra-Lynn is back in Solace - she sends Adaine a heartfelt text saying she appreciates the invitation, but she can't bring herself to come.

Riz doesn't show for the ceremony - he's desperately scouring the heavenly realms, trying to make sure Gorgug ended up somewhere he wasn't afraid of. Orcish heaven doesn't have him, he reports, and neither does Cassandra.

If he's trapped in the Abyss with Fig, at least they have each other.

---2---

Adaine sees Fabian's death the night of Gorgug's funeral. She needs to prepare, she tells herself. She knows it's going to be hard. She needs all the time she can get, and she needs to know which goodbye will be their last.

They grow old together. Not romantically, although some speculate. Fabian becomes a multiclass advisor at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy. Adaine works in Bastion City as an archivist, with occasional trips to Fallinel for Oracle services. They go for vacations sometimes, but never for too long. The memories find them no matter where they go. Sometimes Adaine wishes she could be Ayda, scrape off the old wounds and start fresh. Arthur talks about her sometimes. She's never had the same spark as that one lifetime, he says.

Adaine watches the wrinkles grow beside Fabian's eye, watches his hair turn grey, watches the Future of Dance become its Mentor. He trades his Battlesheet for a cane-sword, then a regular cane. He takes to wearing the Gregorian necktie to classes, no matter how much it clashes with his outfit. They both wonder how many of their own teachers lost party members.

Adaine holds Fabian's wrinkled hand on his deathbed, in his old room at Seacaster Manor. He grins, flashes the same perfect teeth as on the first day of Freshman Year. "Bet you didn't see this one coming, did you?"

"I did," she whispers, tears streaming down her young elven face. "I knew it would end like this. But I always hoped it would last forever."

They're the last words he hears.

It's not the first funeral Adaine organizes. All the Bad Kids held one for Buddy Dawn, back in high school. She and Fabian worked together on the services for Jawbone, Ragh, and Chungledown Bim - who finally caught up to Fabian in both of their old ages. It is the first funeral she has to organize alone.

Some of Fabian's students attend. Arthur Aguefort gives a short speech, and a few students hear the story of Kalvaxus' return for the first time. Adaine sits with Aelwyn in the front row, a few seats down from Hallariel. Gilear records the service to show Telemaine later. Riz is somewhere deep undercover - he maybe hasn't even heard yet.

She always knew she'd be the last. She didn't expect it to hurt so much.

---1---

Adaine stumbles through a few years before she finds herself again. They pass so fast without a mortal lifespan to hold up against them. She drifts between Fallinel and Bastion City for the most part, with occasional return trips to Elmville. Aelwyn always has a place for her to stay. Seacaster Manor was turned into a dormitory for Aguefort students who needed a place to study, or sleep, or stay away from home for a while. Tracker converted Morded Manor into a temple/bed-and-breakfast for worshipers of Galicaea. Strongtower Luxury Apartments was demolished soon after Fabian started teaching at Aguefort. It seems like everything is different now.

Adaine visits Leviathan once, on a whim. The Compass Points hasn't changed a bit. On a chance meeting in the stacks, Ayda looks at her with a spark of familiarity.

"Adaine Abernant?"

"Yes... you remember me?"

Ayda shakes her head. "There are mentions of you in my journals. I leave journals for when I regenerate-"

"I know. I remember."

Ayda looks intrigued. "I wrote that you were a great wizard, and a good friend. I hear from other sources that you are the Elven Oracle. Perhaps you can shed some light on why the pages around yours are torn to shreds or redacted to the point of unreadability?"

Adaine places a gentle hand on Ayda's shoulder. "I don't know if you'd want that. You lost someone you cared about, so much that you thought it was better to forget her than to bear the pain of losing her."

Ayda considers this. "Is it better to forget?" she asks. "Would you give up the memories of those you lost, in order to keep a logical mind?"

"No. Not for anything."

"Then we should talk."

Adaine smiles. "I'd like that."

---2---

*end

Thanks for reading all the way through! I wrote most of this at 2am and the conclusion the next morning. Please take a reblog to share with your friends or drop a like to let me know you enjoyed - or hated - the story!

Ask me anything about it, please, I love discussing these kinds of theories!!!

[scarlethexelove]

can you please write Y/N and Wanda also Natasha is not dead here (up to you thooooo) , and Y/N pretty much replaced Vision. But before these events Natasha has always been there for Wanda, (after Endgame) so she didn’t make a hex but still griefed about Y/N and Wanda making a big move for Y/N’s reincarnation but in a good way. After Y/N being back from the dead. She learns that her soon to be wife has already fallen for Natasha and her reincarnation just meant nothing and Y/N didn’t go on with her life and ended it just there.

Wands regretted everything until she lost herself and made a big mess with the universe (pretty much MoM) and overall Wanda regretting everything, and when she gets us back (it can be Wanda taking another one of us in an another universe) or her just making us alive from the dead *this all can be up to you author*

I love your stories 🖤

I'm Sorry

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word Count: 3590

Warnings: Cheating (Allusions to it but really it is there), Angst, Major character death, Mentions of Murdering innocent people, Angry Wanda, Suicide by others, Not really a happy ending, tiny bit of fluff like very little.

A/n: This one was fun. I hope I did it justice. I may have changed a little bit of it but I hope you still like it.

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN

Everything hurts. You have a splitting headache and it feels like you got run over by a MACK truck. Your face scrunches up in pain, the lights too bright even with your eyes closed. Sensory overload has you curling in on yourself. Hands come up to clamp on your ears when you hear a voice, but it’s so loud and muffled that you don’t even know who is talking to you. All you want is for all of it to stop. You had been an experiment but that experience doesn’t compare to what you are feeling right now. 

“Nat turn the lights off.” Wanda orders the older woman in the room. Nat flicks the light off as she watches Wanda brush some hairs back. You let out a whimper at the contact. It breaks her heart seeing you like this. When her hand brushes against your skin she can feel you. She feels your pain. Red whisps leave her fingers slowly seeping into your skin. Soon enough the pain starts to dissipate. 

Wanda crawls in the bed behind you wrapping herself around your frame. You feel a body pressed against yours and you immediately know who it is. “Wanda.” You whisper. You turn around in her hold and nuzzle into her neck. “I’m here sweetheart.” Wanda combs her fingers through your hair. You're so tired and she feels like home. You fight to stay awake but her ministrations have your eyes closing. “It’s ok detka get some rest.” Wanda whispers and kisses the top of your head. You finally let yourself drift off to sleep. 

A little over 5 years ago the team was fighting Thanos. Your powers let you see brief points into the future. You saw that if you died that Wanda would be safe. Thanos needed you gone to get what he wants but you also saw that in the end the Avengers would win. The event that sets that in motion was your death. So as much as it pained you you let it happen. To save Wanda, to save the world. Wanda could move on but the fate of the universe was in your hands. 

“Wanda.” Nat says softly from the corner of the room. She looks at you curled into Wanda’s arms. A sight she had hoped to never see again. “Natty, she needs this.” Wanda says softly, still stroking your hair as you sleep. Nat just nods. It hurts but she knows it is something that Wanda had to do. 

Your mind races. Your dreams are of your last memories. The fight with Thanos and how you let him kill you just in order to save everyone else. Your body shoots straight up as your chest heaves from the memories. You feel a hand rubbing up and down your back but you haven’t quite gained control. You mind questioning how you are here. Why are you alive? You should be dead. That was all your mind could see and you had accepted that fact but here you are. Tears stream down your face. “Why?” You're not sure what you are asking, who you are asking the question of. You feel so small. “Why what detka?” Wanda asks you with concern on her face. “Why am I here? I should be dead.” Your voice breaks and Wanda’s heart hurts seeing you like this. 

Wanda starts explaining everything that had happened while you were gone. Excluding some details. They had worked tirelessly to bring back those that were snapped away. Wanda and Nat become the de facto leaders of the Avengers. It took 5 years but they finally did. Once that was done they set out to bring you back. It took some time but somehow when Bruce had snapped his fingers he was able to bring you back. But somehow you ended up in a pocket universe in a deep sleep. They were finally able to get you back safely. All the information flooding into your mind is a lot to handle but eventually you understand. Somehow the universe had different plans for you. 

It’s been a few months since you came back. Most things are the same but something seems off. Wanda hasn’t been as loving towards you. Before she was always so touchy and wanting nothing more than to crawl under the sheets cuddling while watching some sitcoms. But now she barely even gives you a hug. Sleeping in the same bed has you feeling like she isn’t even there. She is a million miles away even if she is only right beside you. Your heart hurts not understanding, is she still mad at you for letting Thanos kill you. Anytime you try to talk to her she just brushes you off and says nothing is wrong. So you're left alone to your thoughts and worries.

Nat had moved into your shared home while you were away. The two women grew closer at the loss of so many others. You want to be angry and jealous that Nat gets more attention than you but you still trust Wanda hoping that she will come around eventually. 

You’re walking towards the kitchen when you can hear a hushed discussion between Wanda and Nat. You stop just shy of the door frame listening in when you hear your name mentioned. “Wanda you need to tell Y/n.” Nat says her body leaning on the counter and arms crossed against her chest. “Tell her what Nat?” Wanda counters. She sits at the table with a sad look adorning her face. “You know what Wands.” Wanda lets out a sigh. “I can’t do that to her Nat.” Wanda’s voice is low. “You can’t keep lying to her. You can’t keep lying to me. I love you Wanda.” There is a pause in the conversation before Wanda speaks up. “I love you too.” Your heart drops the moment the words spill from Wanda’s mouth. 

You’re quick to turn on your heels as the tears start to stream down your face. Holding in a sob as it all makes sense now. In your absence the two had fallen in love. You’ve somehow become the other woman in Wanda’s life. You don’t know how you didn’t see this coming. Your powers should have felt this but they hadn’t and now you’re left heartbroken. You push into your shared room focusing on pulling yourself back together. You can’t let them know that you know until you figure out what to do. 

The buzzing of your phone pulls you out of your despair for the moment. You see Fury’s name flash on the screen. You quickly wipe your tears and answer the phone. “Sir.” You say masking the waver in your voice. “Y/l/n I have a mission for you. Since you have been cleared for duty I would like you to head out tonight with Barton and Barnes. I have sent over the reports for you to go over. Good luck out there and glad to have you back.” The phone line goes dead as the man hangs up the phone. You open the report sent to your phone. You now see the flashes in your mind of how the mission will go. And that is where you see it. What you’re going to do. 

That night you enter the Quinjet greeted by the two men. Hugs and joy at your return. Your powers are always a significant help to missions. You three go over the plans for the mission. You lay out what you had seen in your vision, excluding one crucial part that the men don’t need to know. You know if they did they would try and stop you. But your heart aches and you put on a fake smile so that no one would expect a thing. 

Everything was set to go. A long message meant to play for Wanda after it was already too late. This would be your last mission. Wanda and Nat would have all that they could ever want. You wouldn’t be the burden that you know you are. They should have just left you dead if they were going to do this to you. So you made that decision for them. You weren’t going to come back from this mission alive. 

The mission was going perfectly. Playing out exactly as you had seen it. Bucky and Clint were together and far away from you. You snuck into the building off the side. It held some hostages that had been taken by Hydra. You snuck in taking out every agent that you passed. It didn’t take long for you to make it to the hostages. You were able to release them from their binds and get them out of the building safely. But you knew it wasn’t over yet. Bucky and Clint were waiting exactly where you told them too. Having each hostage run towards them for safety while you stood with your back towards the open area. 

You waited knowing what was to come soon. You could change the outcome but you didn’t want to. You didn’t want to be in a world where Wanda loved someone else. You waited with bated breath as the last hostage ran towards your teammates. You exhale the air in your lungs before a sharp pain in your stomach is felt. You grit your teeth turning around firing off a few rounds, but you're hit with another round to the shoulder. You can hear the muffled sounds of Bucky and Clint calling out for you but you push through. Another shot to the leg sends you kneeling on the ground. You push through the pain as you stand. A few steps forward as you unload your mag into the man. Another man appears with his finger on the trigger of his gun. You watch as an arrow sores through the air and hits the man directly in the chest. His finger squeezes the trigger as he falls. You’re hit with the array of bullets. Your body sways before falling to your knees then falling to the ground. The ground below you stains red as your body goes cold. 

Wanda felt a change in the universe. She cries out causing Nat to panic next to her. Wanda clutches her chest in pain. She felt this twice before. Once when Pietro died, the second when you died fighting Thanos. She had never wanted to feel that pain again but here she is feeling it. The world stops turning at that moment. Not again she thinks tears streaming down her face. 

The doorbell rings but Wanda doesn’t hear it. Nat tries to console the younger woman pleading for her to tell her what is going on. It continues to ring when no one answers until Nat gets up and finds out what is going on. Wanda sits sobbing on the couch. Nat walks back in with a folded paper with your hand writing on it. Wanda scribbled on the top. 

Wanda sees this snatching the paper from her hands and quickly opening it before reading the words delicately written across the page. 

My dearest Wanda,

You’re reading this because I’m gone. I’m sorry to do this to you

but I can’t live life like this. I know that you no longer love me.

I see the way you look at Natasha and I know she is now

the love of your life. I want you to be happy. I saw this coming

and I could have changed it but who am I to keep you from the 

one you love. Don’t mourn for me, just live your life. You don’t

have to worry about me anymore and you can be happy, that 

is all I have ever wanted for you. But my love I can’t live in

a world where you love someone else. So this is goodbye.

Love,

Y/N

Tears hit the paper blurring the words in front of her. Wanda’s heart shatters into a million pieces. How could this have happened? How could she have thrown away all that you two have? She is absolutely disgusted with herself and with Nat. This isn’t how it was supposed to go but she was blinded and now her eyes are finally open but now it could be too late.

Through the tears Wanda gets up making her way out the door and immediately taking off towards the compound. Her magic lifts her into the sky as she flies as fast as she possibly can to the one place she knows you would be. Praying that maybe it was all wrong, maybe you can be saved. Nat calls out for her as she leaves her alone standing in the yard. 

The ground cracks below Wanda’s feet as she lands hard on the ground. Anger and guilt pumping through her veins as she walks towards the building. Her magic slamming doors open as she makes her way to the med bay. Your body is already lying there. Bucky and Clint talking outside the room. Windows lining the wall as they keep looking back at your body. Wondering what they would tell the angry redhead but they didn’t have to wait too long. They spot Wanda fear and sorrow on their faces. “Wanda we can -” Clint is cut off. “Save it.” 

Wanda makes her way into the room. The boys walked away looking like kicked puppies. Wanda’s breath picks up as she sees your still body encased in a black bag. The top half of it unzipped revealing your pale skin and blood staining your suit. You look so peaceful like you could be sleeping. Wanda cups your cheek, a light jerk of her hand when she feels how cold you are. She lets her magic slip out the ends of her fingers going into your head. Fresh tears streaming down her face. “I can’t feel you.” A sob wracking her body. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry love you never deserved any of this.”

Wanda silently sobs as she sits next to you. Your hand in hers as she just stares blankly at your body. The door clicks open a while later. Wanda doesn’t turn to look. “Go away.” Her voice is hoarse from all the crying but she doesn’t care. “Wands.” Nat whispers. “I said leave.” Wanda’s voice raises as her head snaps towards the door red swirling in her eyes. Nat knows she is just upset so she doesn’t back down. “Detka.” She whispers. “Don’t you dare detka me.” Wanda stands letting your hand drop off the side of the bed. “This is all your fault. She is fucking dead because of you.” Wanda seethes. “Don’t put that blame on me Wanda. You're just as much the problem.” Wanda stalks towards Nat red surrounding her body and slamming her into the window, a crack forming behind her body. “Don’t you fucking dare blame me. It should have been you. You should have died back then. I would still have her. She is more of a woman than you will ever be. I let myself be blinded by you. Blinded by the love you gave but I didn’t love you. I don’t fucking love you.” As hard as Nat can be, Wanda's words cut deep. Tears shine in her eyes as she holds back a sob. Wanda sends Nat’s body flying through walls until she lands outside. Wanda follows as she does so. Releasing Nat’s body which is now battered and bruised. She then flies off into the night. 

It’s been months since anyone has seen Wanda, held up in a small cabin in the middle of nowhere surrounded by mountains. Some have tried but they always get blasted out so they stopped trying. She has been lost to the Avengers and they aren’t sure they could ever get her back. The day they lost you they also lost her. 

Wanda’s black tipped fingers comb through a book. A very dangerous book. The more she searches the darkness in her soul grows and the blacked tips grow. She has tried everything in the book to bring you back to life but none of it works. She had another attempt today, something new, something hopeful but it ends with a magical outburst throwing everything in the cabin. She continues to comb through the pages ignoring the disarray around her. She closes her eyes and lets her magic do the work. It’s not long before she finds something new. She thought she had seen all that this book had to offer. All that the Darkhold had to offer to the Scarlet Witch. 

You are sitting in your living room, two small boys cuddled into each of your sides as you watch a movie. Empty bowls of ice cream sitting on the coffee table that you have your feet propped up on. You laugh as your son Tommy tries to mimic you. You other son Billy giggling along. Tommy huffs and crosses his arms. “Not funny.” He mumbles. You can’t help but ruffle his hair which makes him swat at your hand causing you to chuckle. “One day buddy you will reach it.” You kiss the top of his head. All of you falling back into the silence, the only sound is the movie playing. 

Your mind flashes to a vision of Wanda but not your Wanda standing in the middle of your living room. Her face twisted into something you can’t even imagine in your wildest dreams from the woman you loved. The pain that she has caused to get to this point. As your world comes back to you you are met with a star shaped portal in the middle of your living room. What was once an image in your head now in front of you. 

Wanda’s hand wraps around the young girl's throat in front of you. “What did you do?” She seethes. The two boys next to you are terrified. You quickly stand and tell them to run but Wanda’s head snaps towards you. The couch you were once on is now thrown at the stairs blocking the way. You push your boys behind you in a protective manner. Wanda’s eyes trailing the boys curiously, a small warm spot forming in her heart seeing your protective nature. She didn’t expect to find you with kids but she always wanted a family with you so it can’t hurt. 

“Wanda!” You yell at her. Wanda is startled by the anger in your voice. You have never yelled at her like that. “Let the girl go.” You demand of her. Her hand slips from the girl's neck as she coughs on the ground holding her throat. Wanda starts stalking towards you but you back up with your boys behind you. 

Billy tugs on your shirt a little trying to get your attention and you quickly look back at him. “Is that Mama?” His voice sounds so small. Your attention quickly turns back to the woman in front of you who has stopped. You can see tears in her eyes at Billy’s words. “That is not your Mama.” You shake your head. You can see the hurt on Wanda’s face as she gets closer to you. “I can be.” She says a crack in her voice. 

You start to walk towards the woman but your boys try to stop you. You motion that you will be ok as you stand in front of Wanda. “You could never be my Wanda.” She falls to her knees, her hand on her chest as she looks up at you. “I can see your hurt and your pain but you have caused so much more and for what.” Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I did it for you.” She whispers. “I would never want you to do this for me. Wanda you murdered people. Good people.” Wanda stands back up and moves towards you, her hand reaching out to cup your cheek. You back up away from her touch. “I wanted you back.” You scoff and shake your head. “After seeing what you did I could never want you. I miss my Wanda but you are not her and could never be.” 

Wanda’s face twists in anger. You try to back up again but she is quicker this time. She grabs your wrist in her hands. “Wanda that hurts.” You whimper as she digs her nails in. “Too bad. I’ll make you love me just you see. Now that I have you back I will never let you go again.” There is a panic that rises in you. “We will have the perfect little family.” She looks behind you. “Won’t we boys?” They are too scared to say or do anything just holding onto each other for comfort. 

Wanda keeps one hand on you as she turns around. Her wrist flicking as America is thrown back through the portal. It dissipates from the middle of the room before she turns back to you. You struggle to get free but she is stronger than you remember. She clicks her tongue and looks at you, her hand finally reaching to cup your cheek. Red whisps leave her fingers as they sink into your mind. “All mine now.” She replaces every memory and thought of your Wanda with her. Changes the fear to love. You’re hers now and no one will change that. Her magic soon flowed into the boys having the perfect little family. She would tear the world in two to keep you and the boys forever. 

[upon-a-starry-night]

Number Neighbors Pt.22

Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Natasha Masterlist Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2k

Summary:  When you catch sight of the newest trend going around you know you’re all but bound to at least try it, it was harmless anyway. What could possibly stem from something so little?

----

If you thought it was suffocating to be the center of a room of attention it was ten times worse being the center of Natasha Romanoff’s attention. And yet, you can’t tear your eyes away from hers. Why was she looking at you? 

You feel more than see the glares all the men send your way as she saunters over to you and leans on the bar in front of you. The proximity- Gods you were going to pass out for real this time. Would she catch you? She had quick enough reflexes for it.

There’s a scent that floods your senses that must be hers and it makes your head spin for the second time that night. You’d only gotten here twenty minutes ago. 

You should say something. Anything would be nice instead of you staring at her like a starstruck child. Come on Y/n-

“Why do they have you back here making the drinks?” Did that sound like an insult? Oh god it did, didn’t it? You were dead. You accidentally insulted The Black Widow and now you would get flipped over a table and no one would bat an eye. At least you got to die after meeting her. Goodbye, world.

You slowly exhale and subconsciously lean away from her as you stare at the ceiling. Hypnotic eye contact is sufficiently broken as your heart pounds a million beats per minute. Maybe this was how she killed you. Just by looking at you.

To your surprise, there’s a playful smirk on her face when you finally muster enough courage to look back at her. Something in you skips a beat. 

“Maybe it’s because I’m good at it” Her eyes track your face before she stands up straight and turns around, grabbing two bottles from behind her once again. You watch as she expertly moves through the motions of making a drink. It’s different from the one she made herself, this one has some type of syrup and fresh fruit shaken into it. When she’s done she pulls a glass from under the bar and pours the drink effortlessly into it, adding a little umbrella that you take a little too much delight in receiving. 

She crosses her arms, once again letting her body lean against the cool material of the bartop.

You don’t hesitate to pick up the drink. You’d probably drink poison if she gave it to you. As you take a sip she adamantly watches your reaction. This whole interaction feels strangely intimate and you have to wonder if this is how everyone feels when they meet her. The rest of the party was long gone from your mind.

The flavors from the drink danced on your tongue and you were pleasantly surprised at how little alcohol you could taste. You were a little scared after seeing the labels on the bottles she’d used for her own drink but this was genuinely delicious. 

Before you can tell her it’s good another man calls out to her. Her attention is sufficiently pulled away from you as she goes to give the man and his two girl friends beers. You sip your drink as you watch them interact but you feel your heart tighten when you see her giving a similar flirtatious look to the two women.

Ah. you understand now. She was just doing her job keeping the guests entertained. Stark parties had a high reputation, after all, they couldn’t have you leaving feeling unsatisfied with your visit. You carefully observed the way Natasha watched their body language, their eyes. Reading what made them react most. The same way she’d done to you. It was all an act.

You want to feel hurt but realistically what were you expecting? That Natasha would choose you? She was here talking to you and everyone else out of obligation not because she wanted to. You turn around and look for your friend, spotting her laughing as she sips a flute of champagne they were passing around on trays. You should’ve just grabbed one of those. Even if it didn’t taste as good as your drink. Hand-made for you. By Natasha Romanoff.

When you turn back around you almost jump out of your skin at the sight of said woman right in front of you. She seems proud that she spooked you and her little self-satisfied smirk painted with deep red lipstick is hard to look away from.

“So?” The raspy sound of her voice is a familiar sound from all of the interviews you used to watch of her. You tilt your head as you try to comprehend what she meant ‘So….what?’

“Am I good at it?” Realization dawns on you as you process the fact that she was referring to your earlier conversation

‘Why do they have you back here?’

‘Maybe it’s because I’m good at it’

Your first urge is to tease her, as it is with everyone you meet. You want to scrunch up your nose and tell her she should stick to fighting crime and then let a playful smile overtake your face but if you’re honest you’re a little too intimidated to even attempt such a joke.

Instead, you nod your head. Your spirits were a little deflated but that wasn’t going to stop you from having fun and meeting your literal hero. 

“Any chance you’ll give me the recipe?” Something about knowing her flirtation was just an act made you a little bolder as you attempted your own flirtatious approach.

Her eyes fill with a challenging light and you can’t help but think it’s the same look she gives her sparring partners. You suppose their fates ended up a little more bruised than yours was going to “I suppose I could be persuaded” 

Oh, so you were really doing this. Okay.

“Are you like this with every girl you meet?” You take the liberty to lean forward an inch, tilting your head and adapting the same look in your eyes. Even if it wasn’t authentic, flirting with Natasha was more fun and exciting than anything else going on at this party.

Laying it on thick, she leans in so she’s only a few inches away from your face. “Only the pretty ones” If the proximity didn’t already have you blushing her words certainly did. You could probably chalk it up to the alcohol but you both know that would be a lie.

“How Suave of you, Miss Romanoff” She waves you off

“Natasha is fine” You're more than willing to accept her permission to use her first name “and you are?” 

“Y/n. Y/n, Y/l/n.” You offer her a smile but she stills. In a way you’ve never seen a super spy freeze before. (Not that you’ve been in the company of many but movies are a great source)

Something in her eyes changes when she looks at you. Her eyes drink in your face once again but there’s something different about it this time. It’s slower, her gaze lingers as it traces and drags through your features. What was with this reaction? Maybe you had the same name as an ex of hers…

When her eyes meet yours again it’s like she’s seeing you for the first time. Really seeing you, not just giving you sultry looks for fun or obligation. Natasha Romanoff was looking at you like you meant something to her.

Your phone dings with a notification and you look down to see your friend messaging you to come join her. You glance over your shoulder to see her smiling at you and waving you over. There’s a group of people around her that she probably wants to introduce you to and you’d probably spent far too much time at the bar anyway. But…

As you stand to leave Natasha takes you in once more and you blush. You can’t help but wonder what she was thinking. She’d served you a drink and kept you entertained, surely her duties with you were done right? 

Why did her eyes hold so much weight to them now? 

Why was she looking at you like that?

~~

Nat didn’t believe in coincidences.

Conspiracies and coincidences and everything of the sort were things she tried her best to steer clear from. The stuff that followed usually resulted in bad news.

But if you were the same Y/n. Her Y/n. Then-

She hastily reaches out and grabs onto your arm, she’s sure you’ve turned to look at her in shock or confusion but her gaze is fixated on your wrist. The same bracelet from the photo sitting prettily on your soft skin. Skin that’s warm against her cold hands. She watches as a shiver travels down your spine. 

Her eyes travel back up your neck to your pearl earrings. There were probably thousands of pairs of pearl earrings in the world- real and fake. But those were yours, she could recognize them. If anyone could, it would be her.

God, she thought you were beautiful before- flirting for a little bit of fun at this boring party, but knowing it was you-

All those nights hovering over your profile on her computer and using every ounce of self-restraint not to click on the file labeled ‘pictures’ 

All this time she was missing out on every aspect of you. Your captivating curious eyes, the delicate fall of your hair, your soft honeyed lips.

How could she have not recognized your voice sooner? She’d been listening to her recording of your phone call on repeat for days.

Her eyes met yours again and she felt speechless for the first time. And she battled real live aliens three years ago. She’s been through some shit. 

She heard your name get called in the distance, your gaze tore away from hers to find the source of the voice.

A woman around your age is calling you over and you’re getting ready to go over and join her. But how could she let you go when she knows it’s you? All this time. You. She couldn’t wrap her head around what she was seeing. This had to be a dream. 

When your eyes land back on hers they’re filled with an unspoken apology and she panics as she realizes you were about to walk away.

She wants to tell you “It’s me, the Nat you’ve been talking to”, wants to hear her name form on your lips and roll off of your tongue in your soft voice again and again but she doesn’t want to scare you away. 

Not now- she tells herself. 

“Find me later?” it comes out softer than she intended but your lips quirk up in a surprised smile anyway and you nod as your wrist slips from her grasp. 

She watches you walk away and turns back to the bar, a genuine smile slipping from her lips. She could still feel the warmth of your hand against hers, there were so many features about you that she’d gotten wrong when she spent her nights picturing you in her mind. 

You were more beautiful than she could’ve imagined. 

For good measure, she sends you a text and watches you smile as your phone lights up. As soon as you finish typing her phone pings with the all too familiar notification sound. 

    Y/n🍦:

Nat🔪: 

How's the party?

Y/n🍦:

You have no idea!

Nat watches the way you smile at your phone as you text her. Your friend gives you a knowing look and you playfully nudge her.

Returning to her task of making drinks, her eyes scan the room for you every so often to watch the way you smile at guests and the way you grip your friend's arm every time you laugh at something. 

She shakes her head, chuckling, she was going to have to reread every text you sent now that she knows your voice, the way your laugh sounds, the way your eyes light up.

There was no way she was going to be able to keep herself from calling you now. And if you recognized her voice over the phone well- that wouldn’t be so bad anymore.

Pt23

A/n: I hope you guys liked their first encounter! Unfortunately the chances of Y/n recognizing Nat next chapter are pretty slim as there's still more to this story I want to add so please don't yell at me! Love you guys<3 ~Starry

---Taglist--

@marvelwomen-simp @cd-4848 @wandanatlov3r @rebeltombraider @ctrlamira @fxckmiup @aliherreraaa @natsxwife @la-douler-ne-finite-jamais @romanoffsgal @moistblobfish @natashaswife4125 @elenimoris @how-to-disappearrr @screechcat @toouncreativeforausername @ordelixx @autorasexy @blacklightsposts @vmpnano @jono723 @sylencr @saraaahsstuff @autorasexy @gay4hotmilfs @tofu9162

[cyren-myadd]

Death Predictions for Avatar

🟢Definitely not dying🟢

Lo'ak: bro's being set up as the new mc, JamCam's definitely not gonna kill him off

Tsireya: as the new mc's love interest, she's safe, cause this is a traditional blockbuster and we can't have a happy ending without the mc starting a family of his own after all the fighting's done.

Tuk: the Sully family has suffered enough after Neteyam

Neytiri: JAMES FRANCIS CAMERON DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT

🟡Possibly dying🟡

Jake: with Lo'ak being set up as the new mc, I could see Jake dying in the final conflict of movie 5, or passing away in a flashforward of old age

Kiri: they're clearly setting her up to be a messiah-like figure and messiah-like figures have a nasty habit of sacrificing themselves to save everyone else. I could see her death being similar to Princess Yue from the less-blue Avatar, like the humans somehow find a way to harm Eywa and Kiri sacrifices herself to bring Eywa back or something.

Spider: whether or not he dies is gonna hinge entirely on what Quaritch's character development demands, cause that seems to be the reason Spider's character exists. Just how Neteyam's death was used to motivate Jake, Neytiri, and Lo'ak's characters, if Spider dies, it will be used as motivation for Quaritch. It could be a positive "my son would've wanted this so I'm gonna be good now" thing or a "my son is dead and I got nothing to lose so i'm gonna kill everybody" thing.

Norm: Norm is important enough that the audience would feel sad if he died, but he's not important enough that the plot would suffer from his absence, so I can definitely see him on the chopping block.

Mo'at: she's a grandma. Grandmas die sometimes :(

🔴Definitely dying🔴

Quaritch: I'm calling it right now. Quaritch is gonna be an asshole throughout the whole franchise, and then at the last second he's gonna have a change of heart, do one (1) good thing, and then die so he won't have to face the consequences of his actions. This has been cliche since Terminator 2, but then again JC wrote terminator 2 so can you really call it cliche if you made the cliche?

Aonung: Sylwanin, Tom Sully, Tsu'tey, Neteyam... I'm starting to think JC has something against older siblings. Sorry Aonung.

Wainfleet: the second Neytiri learns he's the guy who shot Neteyam it's over for his bald ass.

Scoresby: Payakan should've gone for the head and he's not gonna make the same mistake twice.

Ardmore: she's the head honcho now. Probably gonna get an arrow to the chest in A3.

[myths-tournaments]

Awful Characters Semi-finals (1/2)

Propaganda under the cut!

IANTHE TRIDENTARIUS

Her number one hobby is ruining every person's that she knows life. Her second hobby is being soooo slutty about it despite looking like a literal wet rat. Her third hobby is having an extremely unhealthy relationship with her twin. Her other hobbies include cannibalism, wearing a maid outfit, being extremely convinced she is the main character, the badboy sexy love interest and the villain. 'Why', you may ask. Well, the answer is, for shits and giggles #justgirlythings i, aswell as literally everybody else in the fandom have gone through the pipeline from hating her to desperately wanting to fuck her. expect for i still fucking hope she dies and doesn't come back for good. (that would literally solve all of everybody's problems) as god intended (EXPECT FOR. one of her hobbies literally is gaslighting god) She is fucking horrible i will love her until i die and even after that

parks and recs jean ralphio voice she's the woooorst!! The moment she learns she has to kill someone to become a Lyctor (aka a more special necromancer), she doesn't hesitate to kill and cannibalize the guy who has been her cavalier since childhood… cavalier who she also totally bullied as kids, she was allowed to choose one guest for her and her twin sister's birthday party each year, and she would always pick whoever she thought her cavalier didn't want to see there! While other characters are shown to regret the process of becoming a Lyctor (which involves someone close to them dying)/were forced into it because of circumstances, Ianthe has absolutely no regrets, she believes she did what she had to do

The author once said of Ianthe: "I don't think she's been nice to anyone, if she has I'll go back and change it." She killed and ate the soul of someone she has known all her life so that she could become a necromantic saint and tormented him plenty before that. General negging, ganging up against him, always inviting people he didn't like to their birthday parties. She doesn't regret killing him. I think she is repulsed by the idea that his digested soul is affecting hers. She helped her crush lobotomise herself so she would be in Ianthe's debt, and later lied and said she didn't see the corpse of a woman her crush killed under her bed (why did she do that? I do not know). She has a bone arm because her original arm was cut off, she hated the replacement so her crush cut THAT off and grew her a new one out of just bones. She had it gilded and only after that did she decide to help her crush deal with the person who had been repeatedly trying to kill her. She wants so badly to be the main character but people keep interrupting her villain monologues.

she has her own content warning tag

She's such a bitch to everyone all the time, she causes nothing but problems, she tries to do a villain speech but fumbles it because her tummy hurt, she is the awfulgirl of all time

AZULA

Azula explicitly considers herself a monster. She says needlessly cruel things to her brother and friends. She kills the show's twelve-year-old protagonist and masterminds the idea of burning down the entire Earth Kingdom to force them to submit to Fire Nation rule. I have absolutely seen people get called abuse apologists for thinking she's a cool character. But she's also a (canonically) mentally ill fourteen-year-old who was raised by her father to see her ability to be weaponized as her only value. Her mother, arguably the only adult in her life who could have had a positive impact, had a strained relationship with her because she was more difficult than her brother, and then disappeared when she was nine. Her uncle, who was her brother's main healthy role model, took absolutely no interest in her. She watched her father belittle her brother for years and eventually throw him away when he failed to meet his expectations, so that was a threat she was always facing. She really had no chance. And she also has moments that suggest she wants some sort of meaningful connection with another person. She lets her brother take credit for killing the Avatar so he can come back from exile, even though it means she'll be bumped back in the order of succession and offers him advice that seems genuine. Her spiral into a mental breakdown starts when her friends betray her. She's just a much more interesting and multifaceted than a lot of the fandom gives her credit for.

[a-casual-kpopfan]

Just Another Day - Sullyoon

“Thanks for another great day!” Her boss calls out before leaving the building. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” Sullyoon calls back in response to her boss. Sullyoon is seen with a smile, waving happily before tending to her belongings, packing her laptop and purse. The lone office worker leaves her cubicle, looks around the office before shutting off the lights.

5:54 PM

“Hmm, I guess I can make a stop.” Speaking to herself while waiting for the elevator, checking the time on her wristwatch. The elevator arrives promptly, no one else was working through the building other than the security guard and a couple janitors every few floors. Always the first one to arrive, last one to leave, night shift employees all know Sully by name.

“Good evening, Sully.” The afternoon guard at the desk just checking into their shift, watching Sully exit the elevator and walking towards the entrance. “Have a good shift, tell unnie I said hi!” Sullyoon greets the guard and to greet his wife for him, smiles and waves were exchanged before she leaves the building. Her eyes were set on the lone car in the parking lot, majority of the people working had left almost an hour ago, only cars in the lot are evening shift janitors and guards.

“Looks like I’m last again.” Entering her car, starting it promptly and setting her phone GPS’ destination to her local market closes to her home. Pulling out of the parking lot and making her way to the market, getting a call from a friend.

“Oh Hae Won”

With a press of a button on the steering wheel, Sully answers without distracting herself on the road. “Unnie!” Sully calls out to her long-time friend Hae Won. “Sully-ah! When are you going to see me?” Just chuckling to herself, “Unnie, you know I’m busy with work.” She wasn’t entirely telling the truth, but at the same time, she isn’t lying. “Yah, how can we find you a boyfriend if you don’t come downtown for once?” Hae Won complained to the amusement of Sully.

The two talked for majority of the car ride until arriving at the destination placed in the phone. “Unnie, I’ll call you tomorrow!” Sully calls out before hanging up, thinking how Hae Won does not give up trying to find Sully a date. After killing the engine, exiting the car and entering the shop, she’s immediately greeted by the service at the front counter.

“Annyeonghaseyo, oh Ms. Sullyoon.” The employees at this store have been acquainted with her for quite a while, ever since she had moved in this part of the country. “Good evening! How was the day?” Asking as she goes straight to the refrigeration section of the store, eyes on the alcohol racks. “Whatever gets me through college.” The cashier says as they scroll through their phone.

Sully visits this local shop so often that most of the employees know her by name, even knowing some employees outside of the workplace here. “The year is almost done; you’ll get through it.” Said by Sully as she brings up a bottle of red wine, aged from 2012 and two smaller bottles of soju, promptly paying for it and leaving a tip for the worker.

“Don’t spend it all in one place.” Sully leaves with a smile.

~~~~~

7:39 PM

After some time, our sweet pea finally makes it home being greeted by the sunset from her window in her apartment. After making sure the door’s locked and taking off her shoes and slipping on some slippers, Sully makes way towards a kitchen island, looking to dump her bags.

The big smile everyone sees on her, that everyone knows her by, the image people see, all gone. After a minute the once happy woman, is not present in this apartment. Sullyoon with the newly bought bottle of wine opens it up and pours herself a glass, swishing the wine in the glass to get a sniff of the scent.

“Mmm, let’s see how you taste.” After a sniff and sip, Sully is satisfied with her choice of wine for the night. “Mmm, that was good.” With that, our sweet pea sets the glass down to get herself changed into something more comfortable, a t-shirt and some shorts seem to be the mood for tonight.

Another day spent, another night alone.

Sullyoon sighs, first picking up the glass of wine and taking another sip, then the bottle itself as she moves to her couch. Placing the bottle on a coffee table in front of the couch and having a TV playing the News on the other side. “What else is happening in this sad world.” Sullyoon questions as she sits and sips on her wine.

“In today’s news, forest fires continue…” Despite the constant noise from the TV, Sullyoon really can't catch onto any words being said, her focus instead on the bottle of wine on her hands.

As alcohol enters her body, her mind starts to become blurry.

~~~~~

“WORTHLESS!”

“But…”

“But what?! You’re ruining our reputation with these worthless grades!”

*SMACK*

And like that, a young Seol Yoon-A, being slapped by her father. A young Yoon-A is not up to par to her parent’s expectations, they wouldn’t accept their daughter making “satisfactory” grades. Seol Yoon comes from a high-class family, always pushing for nothing other than perfection.

That is what her life is created from, perfection.

“I tried my best appa!” A tearful Yoon-A collapsed on the floor, holding her cheek, looking up to her father. “Your best isn’t enough; I can’t believe I call you, my child.” Her mother now speaks up after seeing the transcripts with all the end of semester grades. “Eomma?!” Her didn’t even bother to look Yoon-A in the eye.

“Why can’t you be like your sister.” Her mother has to say while dropping the paper in front of Yoon-A, while the child just sat there on the floor, crying and not being able to say a word.

“Your sister is so perfect.”

“Why can’t you be more like Min-A?”

The speechless Yoon-A stays on the floor, the tears start falling on the paper on the floor in front of her. Being scolded by her parents is normal, happening way too often, being compared to her older, more successful sister.

Nothing in a young childhood hurts more than being essentially disowned by her own parents.

~~~~~

A little more than 2/3s of the wine is gone, all being consumed by the now named Sullyoon. “Why did I have to be born into this family?” Sully questions a picture frame of her and her family, mother, father and older sister. “Why did you have to be so perfect.” Picking up the picture frame with a little bit more aggression.

“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN MY LIFE?!” Throwing the picture frame in a fit of a somewhat drunken rage, the glass in the frame shatters everywhere, with the frame landing facedown on the floor. With realization hitting her shortly after, sighing and walking to washroom to grab the broom and dustpan.

“I always had to clean up all the mess…”

The sounds of glass scraping along the floorboards fight for sound dominance with the TV playing in the background. All shards of glass had been swept up, being safe to walk around the floor again, Sully picks up the frame and remaining glass on the frame is cracked all around the photo except of course, no cracks or shards being around the perfect sister Min-A.

“Screw you.” Sullyoon says with a frown before perfectly throwing the frame into a nearby trash can, followed by the dumping of the glass shards. “I should’ve thrown you out years ago.” Kicking the garbage can like a little kid trying to get back at her bully.

“Why must you need to be in my life?”

As a child Sullyoon… Yoon-A’s parents were strict to say the least, harsh? No, more like demanding, expecting you to meet the same standards that her older sister has set so early in her life.

Min-A always a perfect child, honour roll every year, perfect As every year, and nowadays she’s busy directing an entertainment company, which oddly enough Sullyoon works for. A way you can say for her older sister to keep an eye on her.

3 years ago, Yoon-A’s parents died in a tragic car accident. It would be rude for her to think that they deserved it, but then… Her parents weren’t that considerate to her as well.

~~~~~

“Yoon-A!” Min-A, calling out for her younger sister through the door.

*Bang*

*Bang*

*Bang*

“I told you, that’s not my name anymore!” A newly named Sullyoon yells, while opening the door. “Right… Sullyoon… We have a funeral to attend.” The younger sister rolls her eyes and walks away from the door, leaving it open for the elder to walk in. “I’m not attending it.”

“I know how you feel about them, but they lo-” A sudden slam on a nearby table startles the elder, cutting her off. “If they loved me, why did they want me to be you so badly?” Sullyoon says quietly, Min-A not being able to respond.

“They only loved you. I was a disappointment.” Sullyoon looks in the direction of the window, looking into the sky seeing a couple birds fly by. “A family is supposed to support each other… That’s not our… Your family.” Min-A remained speechless; she knew how her parents treated her younger sister but never got in between them whenever Sullyoon was being scolded.

“If you were my sister… You would have defended me.” Sully turned and walked away from the table and stopped in front of Min-A. “Why couldn’t you be there for me?”

Min-A couldn’t say a word and that’s all that Sullyoon needed to confirm with herself that she can finally be let go of her parent’s grips. "Their eyes were never on me; I never had a place in their heart. They only needed you, their one and only golden child." Sullyoon walked to the door and opened it.

“You can leave, I’m not coming.”

“Yoon-A…”

“I’m not Yoon-A anymore!”

Min-A slowly walks over to the door, hesitating before actually leaving. No tears being shed, Sully can tell that her older sister as holding back from breaking down in front of her. “If you need anything… You can call me…”

Min-A walks out of the apartment, with a loud slam following from behind shortly after. And it was there when she broke, Min-A dropped her bag on the ground, crouching down, grabbing her knees as the tears starts coming out. “I’m sorry…”

On the other side of that door, Sullyoon is in the same position. Even with all the resentment and anger she has for her sister; she still loves her.

“I had to…”

~~~~~

Some months later…

“Hey, I had fun last night.” Sullyoon says smiling while she wakes up on a random morning, to a man getting dressed. “Yeah, yeah, it was fun.” This man says while adjusting his belt around his waist. “We should, maybe go out again?” Sully mentions with a smile, but notices discomfort in his look while picking a t shirt off the ground.

“I guess it was just for the night then.” Sullyoon’s demeanor drastically changed. “Uh-Um…”

“I bet you don’t even remember my name.” Sullyoon changes position from looking at the male to just staring at the ceiling. The male didn’t reply, just proceeded to put his shirt back on.

“Thank you for letting me stay for the night.” The male said quietly while opening the door before leaving.

“Yeah… You’re welcome, Eun-Seok.”

The male froze, hesitated really to leave. “Sorry…” Is all that he can mutter before seeing himself out of Sullyoon’s apartment without a fuss.

The sounds of the front door closing echoes throughout the now quiet apartment.

The events of last night and now are stuck in Sullyoon’s head, the thoughts of her parents are flooding her mind. The yells of being useless, not worth anything at all, to anyone. “Were they right?” Sullyoon holds in her tears, although futile, trying to keep herself composed but failing.

Sullyoon for the rest of the day was dead, depressed, down.

Sullyoon’s days just went like this, becoming a routine, becoming normal.

And that’s what it all became.

Every now and then Sullyoon would meet men from apps or just run in at bars, all with the same result. At night they’re having the time of their life, in the morning it’s like the she wasn’t just with a drunken partner.

By morning they’re already gone.

By morning Sullyoon is already sipping her coffee.

By morning, she’s already smiling perfectly at work.

~~~~~

Present Day… 6:14 AM

Empty bottle laying on its side, empty wine glass on the table. The sunlight peers through the blinds and shines onto the bottle reflecting it right on Sullyoon’s face, waking her up. The daily news is still playing in the background as the TV was left on all night, Sully gets up from laying down into a seated position trying to scope out what happened last night.

Used tissues all over the place, seeing the bottle has fallen over and is empty, the used wine glass on the table, surprisingly still on a coaster.

“Damn… I guess I had too much to drink.”

Sullyoon is accustomed to seeing this in the morning.

Drunken nights, mild hangover mornings.

It was a getaway from life Sullyoon yearns for, a world where her parents aren’t ashamed of her, where she’s not being compared to her sister, a place where she is wanted.

Oh, to be wanted.

Being wanted, something that everyone in the world wants. To have a partner, to have a friend, to have a family. Sully lacked all of these, reasons why she’s being led to an alcohol dependent life, reasons why she’s so happy in her workplace, being loved for her work, being wanted for her efforts.

But it can only get you so far.

“Time to clean up I guess.”

A groggy Sullyoon slowly gets off the couch to start cleaning up the apartment, getting rid of the tissues, picking up the bottle off the floor, cleaning the slightly stained wine glass. The apartment becoming spotless, cleaned from top to bottom as if Sully didn’t get drunk and cried her eyes out all night.

The morning routine goes as normal.

Sully bringing herself to the washroom, got to make herself look presentable for the incoming day, facial cleanser, moisturizing foam, a whole routine to make herself feel pretty, to be noticed outside.

For the false feeling of being wanted.

After a full shower and hour or so doing skincare, Sullyoon finally got to her makeup kits.

“Remember, you’re a great woman. You have a life and career; any other person would be proud of you.”

Trying to keep her moral up, making her feel the best that can feel, trying to forget everything in her childhood.

But somewhere in the back of her head.

She can hear the voices of her parents.

“Useless.”

Sullyoon slows her hand down and lowering the makeup brush. “No.”

“You’re nothing.”

“No!”

Sullyoon suddenly start tearing up, she looks into the mirror and looks at her reflection.

“PATHETIC.”

“NO!”

Throwing the brush at the mirror, Sully couldn’t bare to look at herself like this. The brush just bounces off the mirror and falls onto the counter. The impact of the brush brings Sullyoon to her senses and looks around. “They’re not even around…” Finding herself dumbfounded by hearing the voices in her head while no one would be around herself.

A deep sigh and picking up the thrown brush from the counter.

“Get yourself together… It’s not real.”

Sullyoon gets herself composed, cleaning her face up and covering up the parts of her makeup ruined by tears.

All dressed up in her suit and skirt, Sully gathers her belongings and packs up in a bag, slipping on her shoes and getting her car keys out.

Before leaving the apartment, she looks at herself on a mirror hung on the back of the front door of the apartment. Standing there professionally, arms straight and holding a bag by the handle with bother her hands, suit is wrinkle free, everything of her appearance looked perfect.

“Just another day.”

And with that Sullyoon begins another cycle to repeat, once again. ---------------------

A/N: This is my take on what a modern day depression story is in this day and age.

[mizuseyebrows]

even if you become a true oni or onryō —mizu x reader

warnings: not proofread. fluff. she/her pronouns for mizu. slight angst. insecurities.

includes: sweet and compasionate reader. 'weak' and vulnerable mizu. word count: 3.6k

summary: mizu has an anxiety attack after a mishap, but you're there for her

a/n: this is a sequel to this

You didn't understand what’s wrong. Only for a few minutes the two of you were separated and when you returned to Mizu's side, a whole gloomy and cold aura covered her. You could also see in her eyes that she was trying to hide something from herself. Anything happened? Did she have to face a battle? You didn't believe it, there were no traces of blood or sweat on her. What could be going on?

Now you found yourself with your head lying on her lap, staring at her face. You were trying to figure out what was underneath Mizu's stoic mask at that moment.

"I know what you see. Cut it." It sounded almost like an order as she growled, her gaze remaining staring straight ahead, as if she were studying the forest.

"And what do I see?" You asked in a soft voice, almost speaking softly.

"A half blood, half breed. Like a demon." She rolled her eyes as she spoke, making a disgusted expression with her mouth. "Not even a human, something worse."

"Is there anything worse than being a human?" You looked at her with surprise and curiosity.

"There is, being me." She spoke, but you could tell there was a hint of bitterness in her tone of voice. Then, she made a self-deprecating gesture. "Being something less than human, something no one can understand, something no one wants."

"Why are you saying something so ugly, Mizu? Do you really believe everything you're saying?” You knitted your eyebrows together to express concern.

"Why wouldn't I?" She scoffed, waving her hand dismissively. "They all called me a demon. Do you have any idea how it felt growing up? The way I was treated? People thought I was a freak, an abomination. Even my own mother... I could never live up to their standards, because I wasn't full blooded human.” Her voice is sharp and bitter, the usual edge that makes up her personality has sharpened into more than just annoyance. "They tried to kill me for being a girl. I have to pretend to be hideous man. And on top of all that, I am half blood. People have every reason to hate me, and I'll be a fool for not hating myself as well."

» "You want to know what the worst part is?" She spat, her hands curling into fists slowly as the words were practically dragged out of her. "People like you. People who seem to be so good, yet they still can't see behind my veil. You could easily hate me, despise me. I don't deserve to be happy."

» "I don't know why you're so nice to me... You're making me feel more human than I deserve to feel. It gives me a slight glimmer of hope that maybe I'm not a monster, but deep down, I know it's all a lie. I know that people will never accept me for who I am." She looked away; her fists clenched so tightly that they'd gone pale. "I don't deserve anything nice, and I don't deserve you. It's only a matter of time before you realize what a terrible, horrible, awful person I am."

» "I'm afraid one day, you'll come to dislike me. You'll call me a freak just like everyone else has my entire life..." her voice trailed off, and she let out a deep breath. "When that day comes... When you finally look at me as the monster I am... I won't blame you. It's what I deserve... but it would still hurt. So much." Despite her words, there wasn't a sign of emotion on her face, not even the slightest hint of sadness. "Just like a monster would, I'll get over it."

» "But I don't want to." She muttered, her breath catching in her throat. The coldness in her tone had melted, the usually stony expression replaced by a sad look. "I don't want to be treated like a monster. I don't want to be hated. The tears hadn't started rolling down her cheeks yet, but she was on the verge of crying. "No matter how much I hate myself, I don't want that. Even if I'm a monster, all I've ever wanted was to be loved..."

» "And I hate myself for that." She was trembling just a little bit, and tears were threatening to fall, but hadn't yet. "Every single day, I hate myself for still wanting to be loved and cared for, for even having any sort of desire. Because that's not how—I've got to be strong; I have to be... I have to be tough; I can't have a moment of weakness..."

Listening to Mizu's verbal display had you in mental limbo. You heard every word, every growl, every broken voice. You saw every frown, every snap of teeth, every grimace. But you couldn't process all that information. Your heart broke as she continued to express and degrade herself like that. You couldn't believe everything you heard.

You didn't even notice that you were crying, your face was completely soaked. It wasn't until Mizu stopped talking that she seemed to come back to reality. What could you say to all that? Where to start?

You shook your head, to fully alert yourself and to deny what she was saying about herself. "M-Mizu, there's nothing wrong with having a m-moment of weakness."

"There is when you're a monster..." she whispered. "Monsters don't feel pain... Monsters don't get weak... they can't. A-And besides, I'm not weak." She said, her voice coming out stronger than it had in quite a while. "I'm strong, much stronger than you could ever imagine."

You nodded several times, wanting to reassure what she was saying but you were interrupted by Mizu.

"I'm not weak." She repeated softly, the words echoing in the still atmosphere of the room. "I'm not weak, I'm not." She breathed in again, the strength and confidence she usually had was returning. "You think I'm some sad, pathetic creature that needs to be pities and cared for? Well, you're wrong."

"Mizu!" You got up from her lap and stood in front of her to grab her face and stop her. "Please stop destroying yourself like that. Just because you're half white doesn't mean you're any less human. You're not pathetic for having weaknesses and expecting affection. Please stop talking like that, you're hurting me."

She didn't respond, just froze when your touch was placed on her cheek. Her hands started trembling, and her breath seemed to get shakier with every passing comment you made. Still, she just stood there, barely managing to keep her expression relatively neutral as tears welled in her eyes.

She didn't say anything, there was no use in arguing with you. In her head, she called herself all those terrible things, but hearing you say she was wrong... It broke the last remaining sense of confidence and determination she had to keep herself upright, and she started sobbing.

"I'm so tired." Her quiet, shaky voice sounded on the verge of breaking as she choked back some more sobs. Her eyes were red as tears escaped and trickled down her face.

The cold, stony girl who always seemed confident and in control was now standing there, broken and defenseless. Her defenses cracked and fell, shattering to pieces as the emotional wall that she hid behind gave way to the flood of sadness that rushed in.

"I can't do this... I can't." She whispered, her voice starting to crack with the volume of her crying. "All I've ever wanted was to be loved... But no one would ever love me... If they...” She sniffled, trying her hardest not to cry again. "I'm tired of... being seen as some kind of freak... being thought of as a monster. I know no one would love me... I know that all too well."

When she looked up at you, the cold, sharp glint was gone. Replaced with a sad, pleading look that spoke of only one thing. "Just once... I want to be loved. Once... is that too much to ask for...?"

"I can love you, if you allow me. I want to be there for you in every moment. I want to hug you when you feel overwhelmed, I want to kiss your eyes, your lips, your tears... I know that you have been hurt all your life but, please let me show you that you deserve everything you want and expect."

She was so utterly stunned that she couldn't say a single thing... her mouth slightly agape, her eyes wide with disbelief as she processed your words. When she realized that you had been genuine... she broke down again.

The tears fell, and this time, she didn't do anything to stop them. She wrapped her arms around you, burying her head into your chest. "Please..." she asked quietly. "Love me... please show that you still love me even though I'm a monster..."

"You are not a monster, Mizu. You are not a demon or a freak or an abomination. You are an amazing person; you are an incredible woman. Let me help you change your perception of yourself." You stroked her hair lovingly and planted a kiss on the top of her head.

"B-But...” she mumbled, clinging to your torso. "Everything about me screams inhuman. Everything..."

She hung onto you tightly, almost as if she was afraid that if she let go, the harsh reality set in once more, and she would be sent back to the terrible realization that she was, indeed, a monster.

"What if I'm too much for you to handle?" She asked, the same small, fearful voice she used earlier coming back. "What if my problems are too big for you to deal with? You'll grow tired of me..."

"That won't happen, I already know your stubborn, obstinate, and headstrong persona." You laughed softly and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I'll be able to handle this, I won't leave you alone at any time."

» "I'll help the pain go away." You cupped her face and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "You know that I heal your physical wounds, right? That I always clean them, sew them and take care of them so that they don't get infected. Well, now I will help you heal the internal wounds, those that no one sees but that are the ones that hurt the most. But I will need you to let me do it, I won't be able to do it alone, we both have to work together, okay?"

"S-So you're going to help cure my internal wounds too?" She asked softly as tears threatened to come again. "And you swear you won't ever leave me... and you won't ever leave me and hate me... like everybody else?"

"How could I hate you if you have such a pretty face... What you hate the most about yourself is what I love the most. Your eyes are beautiful, Mizu." You leaned down to kiss her lips again, lovingly and a little slowly.

She was so taken off guard by the sudden action that she didn't react for a moment. But, by the second kiss, she was returning the gesture, her soft lips pressed against yours for a few seconds before she pulled slightly away to speak.

"You love my eyes?" She asked softly, with a hint of surprise in her voice. "Why?"

"What do you mean 'why'? It makes you unique, it adds exoticism to your face. Plus, it's the color of the sea and I love the sea." You gave her another short kiss and smiled at her. "And, I could swear your eyes shine. There's something about them that just makes them glow."

"People think that my eyes are demonic... a sign of my mixed heritage..." She murmured, a frown forming on her lips as she mentioned that word.

"No, don't think that your eyes are demonic. They are beautiful, they look like crystalline snowflakes." You kissed her lovingly again, taking a little longer and caressing her cheeks.

You could have stayed like that all day, letting your kiss never end... The feeling of her lips was like a drug, one you could get addicted to so easily...

Finally, after a few seconds, she pulled her face away from yours. She murmured your name softly, a blush slowly spreading across her face.

"Tell me..." You whispered against her lips and rubbed your nose with hers.

"Can we... do it again?" She asked softly. "That kiss..." Her eyes glanced to the side; her cheeks tinted with embarrassment as she struggled to find the right words. "Could we... please... do it again?"

"Of course we can." You nodded gently and gave her another slow, loving kiss, wanting you both to savor the moment.

She sighed softly and took in the feeling, the sensation of your lips pressed against hers. She could feel everything, the tenderness and love that was hidden behind the kiss, she could feel it all. This was everything she had always wanted but never had... Everything she had been denied by the world and fate... Every affection she felt like she so desperately needed. This was what she wanted. All she had ever wanted. To be loved.

After a few moments, you broke the kiss and looked into her eyes with a smile. You caressed her cheeks in circles and sighed softly. "You'll let me love you, right?"

She nodded, her cheeks flushing again. "Yes, I... I would love that, actually..." She murmured. She could practically feel her heart beating out of her chest, but as she looked into your loving eyes, she felt a little bit better. "Why... do you love me...? Why do you want me...? Do you not think I'm too dangerous? Too violent? Too much of a monster?" She muttered softly, her voice coming out hushed.

"Shh... None of that. You are very dangerous and violent but...I have to admit that that attracts me. You have a lot of passion inside you, but you are directing it towards your revenge and that is what makes you dangerous. Although, your passion is what attracts me the most."

She was stunned. Hearing those words, how her worst traits were what attracted you to her... made her feel odd. To know that her rage and hatred were somehow endearing and appealing to someone... it felt like she had been seeing a distorted reflection of herself all this time and finally saw the true her.

"Those... These are not good traits..." she murmured, then let out another small laugh. "I-Is that really what attracts you to me?"

"It makes you... an adventure, there is a lot of adrenaline. I know they are not good traits but that's who you are and I must accept you, although I will help you guide your passion to better goals. I promise."

"Thank you... I have to admit, I never thought anyone would ever find those traits of mine appealing." She murmured, a soft smile forming on her lips as her eyes started getting teary again. It was almost funny; how much she had hated herself for these very traits you were now praising and considering attractive.

"Maybe I'm the freak one." You laughed happily and stole another kiss from her. "Maybe I'm a little insane, but I love seeing you being dangerous—"

She leaned into the kiss almost immediately, eager to stop you from saying too much more. She knew exactly what you had meant, but there were just some things that she wasn't ready to acknowledge yet. She had thought that she would never find someone who would love her despite all her flaws, and here you were, finding even her most deplorable traits appealing.

"You love... that about me... don't you?" She murmured, just for a quick confirmation before she threw herself back into the kiss.

"I love almost everything about you." You responded to her between kisses, each time doing it with more intensity.

"H-Almost?" She asked meekly, but once again, her question was interrupted by a kiss. She was practically swimming in the sea of bliss that those tender lips were giving her, not even thinking or considering what she said as her mind got flooded with love and passion.

"There are still things I need to know about you, so I can't say I love everything about you." You whispered against her lips, tightening your grip on her face.

"Oh..." She muttered, her lips parting slightly as she took in a breath. "Will you still love me when you know every last little thing about me?" She murmured softly, her expression tinged with worry and a hint of hesitation.

"I will still love you even if you become a true oni or onryō." You sighed softly and looked into her eyes. "I'll be the mortal of those legends who tries to change the demon or the mortal that fell in love with the demon despite its nature."

The words you had just spoken made her feel warm inside. She had never expected such reassurance, such assurance from anyone. She was speechless, not knowing how to reply to your words otherwise. In the end, she let herself go back into another long, passionate kiss instead.

And you kissed her back with the same passion and clinged a little to her, caressing her scalp lovingly. But then you felt Mizu hug your neck longingly, which made you have to lower your hands to her lower back to bring her closer to you.

However, Mizu broke away from the kiss suddenly and looked away. You could see her doubt in her eyes, the uncertainty she felt at your words. You lovingly caressed her back and gave her a kiss on the cheek to get her attention.

"We'll take this slow, okay? I know that right now everything I told you won't erase what has tormented you your whole life, but we'll go slow, okay? At your own pace, if you feel like it's too much at some point, you can say so. If you want to do something different, we can do it. Is that okay?"

"I-It's okay..." she mumbled softly, her mind still trying to process everything you had said. "I just... I just don't know where to start..." She murmured, as tears started running down her cheeks again.

"Me neither, but let's let this flow, okay? Let's not rush anything, we'll just let everything go at the pace it should go." You caressed her cheeks and wiped away her tears.

"Thank you..." she whispered softly, her breathing starting to slow down again. She had never taken things slowly before, she had always been impulsive, always rushed to the next part without taking a moment to stop and think. "But... it's kind of hard to take it slow when you kiss me and do things like that so passionately..." She mumbled, her face getting red again.

"That's my mistake. If you want, I can stop doing it to go slower." You laughed softly, blushing too.

"Can we... keep on doing it... but just a little slower... a little less... intense..." She murmured softly, her eyelids slowly closing as she tried to think of the right words.

"We can do that. I like to kiss you slow and loving." You nodded several times, still smiling.

"Can we... um..." she muttered, not knowing how to ask for what she wanted. "Can we just... sit in silence for a while... while you hold me close and... just stroke my hair and stuff...?" She murmured, her face getting even more red when she realized just how needy and clingy she sounded.

You felt something inside you explode and stir at how cute Mizu had sounded. You couldn't help but bite your lower lip in excitement and nodded several times. "Of course, of course, of course." You sat behind her and made her lean against your chest to stroke her hair the way she wanted.

She gasped softly as she felt your arms wrap around her and pull her back against your chest. For a few moments, all she could do was enjoy the feeling of your gentle touch and the calm, steady rhythm of your heartbeat. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, relaxing as she felt your fingers move through her hair, as if she was some small, helpless animal being comforted by their parent.

The feeling was incredible and she savored every moment of it, letting out a soft, contented sigh as you kept stroking her hair.

"Thank you..." she murmured, her body leaning even further into you as she breathed a little slower. She felt so safe in your arms, so warm.

"You have nothing to thank." You whispered to her and kissed her temple, tightening your arms around her.

The kiss on her temple caught her by surprise and she gave a soft gasp, her eyes widening slightly, but she didn't care and simply leaned back against you even more. The sensation of your arms around her was indescribably comforting, something she didn't think she would ever experience but now all she wanted was to stay like that forever, to stay sheltered and protected and loved.

She let out a soft whimper, your kiss once again sending a shiver down her spine as she felt your tight embrace. She pressed herself even further against you, almost as if she wanted to bury herself in your arms, to melt into your embrace and become part of you. She didn't want to let go of your embrace, not yet, not any time soon, not until she had completely accepted the warmth and the affection that you were now showing her.

[livingdeadblondequeen]

Shoot To Kill

Daryl Dixon/RickSister!Reader

Era: Season 8; During Wraith

Warning: Violence, Negan bashing

Summary: Another Grimes takes matters into her own hands during the final battle.

“Save him.”

Despite the number of people in the field who had been watching the fight between the two leaders, there was nothing but silence, the only sounds that could be heard at that moment were the heavy breathing of Rick, and the footsteps of the new doctor as he moved towards the fallen Negan. Everyone was in shock, not only because it was over but by Rick’s demand. 

“No! No, he can’t! No, he killed Glen!” Maggie shouted, her cries echoing across the field as Michonne reached to stop her from advancing. “We have to end it! We have to make it right!”

No one else moved, those on their side watching silently while the defeated Saviors stood with their hands up, everyone listening to the Widow as she screamed. At least not until the sound of a gunshot rang out.

Rick spun around at the sound of the shot going off, thinking that perhaps Negan had had a hidden weapon on him, only to be shocked at what he saw. Standing a few feet away from the leather-clad Savior leader stood Rick’s own sister, her gun aimed at Negan. He knew immediately that she had been the one to fire, which she confirmed by firing off another round. 

Like the first bullet, it found its mark in Negan’s skull, his body spasming at the impact. Rick could see her hand tensing to shoot again but his hand on her arm stopped her from firing. “Y/N, stop. It’s over, he’s dead.”

She pulled her gaze away from the body in front of her, her eyes locking on his. “Good.”

Rick was about to say more when Y/N wrenched her arm from his grip and walked away toward Maggie and Daryl. Michonne looked at his sister in disbelief as she passed and then looked at him for direction. He just shook his head. He and Y/N would have words about what she did but now was not the time. 

*******

Hours later, Y/N found herself walking into the now-empty cell that Morgan had built. She was exhausted. She hadn’t slept well the night before, thoughts about the upcoming battle not allowing her to. Then once it was over, there were other things to do, like burying the fallen.  

Yet as tired as she was, Y/N would not go to bed. Not until Daryl got back from doing whatever he decided to do with Dwight. She just didn’t want to sleep in their bed without his arms around her, that had happened enough lately. 

As if her thoughts of him somehow made him appear, Y/N heard the familiar cadence of his footfalls on the stairs. Moments later, Daryl’s large form filled the doorway. “Tara said she saw ya come this way. What’re ya doing down here?”

“Trying it on for size?” Y/N replied, her voice rising at the end as she wasn’t sure. 

Daryl only huffed at her answer as he made his way in and sat down next to her. He took her hand in his, kissing the top of it before lacing his fingers with hers. “Rick ain’t gonna lock ya up.”

Y/N didn’t quite have the same faith in those words as Daryl seemed to. “Maggie said I would be welcome at Hilltop if I needed to. If it comes to me leaving…”

“Us,” Daryl corrected her. 

Squeezing his hand, Y/N went on. “I don’t know what my brother might do, but whatever it is, it is. I don’t regret killing Negan, not after he killed Abe, and Glen...”

With her free hand, Y/N reached up and brushed away Daryl’s shaggy bangs so she could see his blue eyes. Her fingers left his hair and trailed down his cheek, gently cupping his jaw. “And you. I couldn’t let him live after what he did to you.”

The archer leaned into her touch, his eyes meeting hers as she asked, “What about Dwight?’

Daryl seemed to hesitate a moment before answering. “Gone. Told’m not to come back unless he got a death wish. Told him to go look for her.” 

Y/N nodded. She honestly hadn’t known what he might do to the former Savior when they left. She understood either decision he would have made. Dwight had put him through hell, but he’d only been a puppet, doing Negan’s bidding to protect someone he cared about. It didn’t make what Dwight did any better, but she and Daryl couldn’t say that they wouldn’t have done something similar to protect the other one. 

A comfortable silence fell over the two of them as Y/N leaned her head on Daryl’s shoulder. She was about to say it was time to go home to bed when they heard the door to the street open and her brother’s boots could be heard on the stairs. Despite the fact that she trusted Rick with her life, Y/N couldn’t help but feel her body tense up. Time to face the music.

Rick’s gaze ran over her form then Daryl’s, taking in the scene before his eyes flicked back to her. She met his stare head-on, years of practice of him trying to boss her around using the big brother card. “Daryl, why don’t you head on home? I need to have a moment alone with my sister.”

“Nah, I’m good here.”

The archer’s response caused her brother to break his gaze from her to look at his friend. “You think I can’t be trusted with her? That I would hurt Y/N?”

“Nah I don’t,” Daryl replied as he stood, dropping Y/N’s hand as he did so that he was eye-to-eye with Rick. “But ya surprised me once today, ain’t risking her if ya do it again.” 

Jumping up between the two most important men in her life, Y/N placed her hands on each of their chests. “Daryl, it’s fine. I’ll meet you at home in a bit.”

Daryl continued to glare at Rick before finally looking down at Y/N. He gave her a short nod before brushing his lips against her temple. “Ya ain’t out in an hour, I’m comin’ back.”

Rick took a step back to allow Daryl to pass through the door and out of the cell, the two staring at each other again until Daryl disappeared up the stairs. Once the siblings were alone, Rick sighed heavily as he ran his hand through his hair. “Do you know what you have done?”

“I did what you were supposed to do,” Y/N replied, keeping her eyes straight and not backing down. “What you should have done.”

“But I didn’t and you should have followed my lead. I had my reasons not to kill Negan.” Rick stated.

“I know you did, I know what Carl said in his letter to you. About finding a way to live peacefully with Negan. He said something similar in mine.” Y/N told him. “But that wish was never going to happen. It couldn’t.”

“It could have, we could have made it work. Michonne and I had a plan.” 

“That neither of you thought to talk to one of us about?” Y/N practically shouted. “What was the plan, Rick? To have the new doctor fix him up then tell Negan he had to behave?”

“No! We were going to put him in here,” Rick said with a wave of his hand to indicate he meant the cell they were standing in. “With guards. Make an example out of him.” 

“So you wanted to waste not just manpower to guard him but also food and water?” Y/N asked, not believing what her brother was saying. “Did you not think how locking up Negan would be dangerous? I mean, when has letting our enemies live ever worked out for us? Andrew, the Governor, and Gareth, they all came back at us and we lost more people.”

“He would be locked up, people always watching him.” 

“Who's to say that his people wouldn’t try to break him out? From what we know, they were living the good life under Negan. They would want that back, instead of being equal with everyone else.” 

“It wouldn’t have been like that. They would see our way was better and fall in. Or we’d make them leave.” Rick insisted. 

“Negan killed Abe, he killed Glenn! They tortured Daryl!”

“You think I’ve forgotten that?!”

“I don’t know, have you?” Y/N asked.

“I know who he killed and what he’s done, but Carl…”

“Was a sixteen-year-old boy. Granted, he had been through and seen way more than a kid his age should have ever seen but he was still a kid. I would have done anything for him, if I could have taken that bite instead of him I would have in a heartbeat,” Y/N confessed, the grief she had been holding off since Carl’s death suddenly rose. It became too much, and she leaned against the wall, trying hard not to let the tears fall.

Looking over she saw her brother’s eyes soften as he looked at her, taking in her words while she continued. “And yes, what I did wasn’t what he wanted, but it is what I did. What I did, Rick. Not you. I hope that alleviates any guilt you might feel at not carrying out your son’s wish.”

Rick looked at his sister and felt the anger he had been feeling at her dissipate at her declaration. He knew she had only done what they had all wanted to do, what he had sworn to Negan’s face that he would do that night of the lineup, and he couldn’t fault her for that. “What are you doing down here, anyway? Of all the places I’d thought to find you, the cell isn’t one of them.” 

Y/N shrugged. “Thought after what I did, it might be my new home.”

Rick’s brows shot up in surprise. “You thought I would lock you up.”

“No, not really. I don’t know. While I knew you wouldn’t be happy about my killing Negan, I thought you might be more upset that I did it in front of everyone. Go against your wishes as a leader.” Y/N explained. “Maybe it would be a good thing if I leave Alexandria for a little while. Go to Hilltop and help Maggie. She will be showing soon I’m sure and will want some extra hands. Daryl and I…”

Shaking his head, Rick interrupted her. “Daryl’s going to be needed somewhere else. I need him to take over at the Sanctuary, make repairs and get it up again.”

“You can’t be serious?”

“The people there are going to need someone in charge and I need it to be someone strong and who I trust.” 

“You can’t send him back to that hell, he suffered enough, Y/N begged. She wanted to tell Rick about the nightmares that Daryl had when he slept, or how the fact that he hated their room in complete darkness but she knew he would not want that. “He’ll go if you ask him but don’t ask that of him. Please.”

Rick sighed loudly and ran his hand over his face, “Y/N...”

“Send Carol, send Rosita, let the place burn for all I care,” She argued. “So many there were miserable, without the Saviors taking stuff from the other communities it couldn’t sustain itself.”

“Okay, okay. I see what you are saying.” Rick conceded. “I’ll talk to Maggie and Ezekiel, and get their thoughts on it.”   

“But no asking Daryl?”

“No. No, we’ll find someone else.” 

Unable to help herself, Y/N grabbed her brother in a hug, squeezing tightly. He hugged her back, and the two stayed like that for a few minutes before breaking apart, Rick nodding towards the exit. “Come on, I’m sure Daryl is wearing a hole-in-the-floor pacing while he waits for you.”

“Funny that you think he actually went all the way home to wait for me.” 

Rick was about to ask her what she meant as they reached the street when the small red light from the end of a cigarette out of the corner of his eye. Standing a couple of doors down, far enough to give them privacy but close enough to come when called, stood Daryl. She knew the archer would be waiting for her. His sister smirked up at him before reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning, big brother.”

Rick said his goodbye before she strolled off to the man waiting for her. Daryl nodded at him in acknowledgment before he focused on the woman in front of him as she took his outstretched hand. Rick watched his sister and the man he thought of as his brother walk away together before he turned toward his own home. Tomorrow was the first day of something new. 

*Note: I have an entire headcanon for Ricksister!Reader & Daryl and have thought of doing other one-shots with them. Let me know if you’d be interested in reading them. And if you have any requests for them, you would like to see, let me know.

Please share by reblogging

Thanks to @minervadashwood, @littlegodzilla, @green-eyedladywrites, @bringinsexybackk69 

[foxcantswim]

Family Forgiveness || F!Reader x Wanda Maximoff

Y/N decides to raise America Chavez as her own. Y/N's girlfriend, Wanda, hopes she can earn Chavez's forgiveness.

( aka Wanda is scared that she will hurt Y/N and America with her magic and she doesn’t feel like she deserves to start a family with them )

F!Avenger!Reader x Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch

Marvel AU where pretty much everyone lives cuz I say so...

Warnings: None

Words: 2.9k

Tags: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Chapter 2

Wanda never expected to be standing here again. She leaned against the wall and looked out at all the other people crowding around in one of the halls of the rebuilt Avenger's Compound. Tony was holding a belated anniversary celebration for the defeat of Thanos. After an attempt to sacrifice his own life for everyone else, Tony instead came out with only one arm. Stephen had decided to do everything he could to ensure that Tony would survive. And that's when the pair created a fully mechanical arm, with the signature red and yellow colours of Tony's Iron Man suit.

Wanda shuddered at the thought of Stephen Strange. It brought back memories of Westview and the multiverse and... her children. Her kids that didn't exist in this universe. She still thought that it was cruel that they lived happily in every other universe. But after almost trying to kill America and seeing just how wrong she was for even attempting to get rid of a variant of herself in order to be with her children - she was trying to be a better person.

Her eyes landed on you.

You were currently chatting away to Thor, laughing and drinking together. You and Stephen had managed to bring Wanda back to reality, with Stephen being reasonable and you being... Well... You. Wanda had created a fake life within Westview, one where she was with Vision and her two children. She was once happy with Vision. But it only lasted so long. She had only gone off with Vision to begin with to try and move past her feelings for you, Vision had been a great listener and the attention he gave Wanda was too irresistible to pass up. Once she was forced to take her fake reality within Westview down, all she cared about was finding her children again. That was until you confessed your feelings to her in the heat of the moment to try and drag her away from her path of destruction within the multiverse. She was on the brink of taking America Chavez's life and also her variant's... Until you showed up with tears in your eyes. Wanda had let her own tears fall as she finally accepted that she would never get her children back, you had held her in your arms to try and keep her stable. Despite seeing her kill innocent people, you still cared for her - and that was enough to stop Wanda from continuing.

Wanda folded her arms in order to hide her still darkened fingers. They weren't as dark as they used to be a couple months ago but they were still dark enough to bring back horrible memories of the chaos she caused. The Darkhold was still calling her name, but you were doing a great job at being her anchor and keeping her grounded and away from the darkness.

She continued to stand alone off to the side. Everyone was still cautious around Wanda, and rightfully so. Wanda didn't blame any of them for having their doubts. At least, she thought that everyone was avoiding her. That was until a certain sorcerer approached.

"Wanda."

"Stephen."

She purposefully avoided eye-contact, looking down at the ground.

"How er... How have you been?" he asked, genuinely.

Now this was definitely something Wanda wasn't expecting.

"I-I've been a lot better recently," she nodded, finally looking up to meet his eyes. She was thankful that they were far away from the loud music blaring from countless speakers within the room.

"Good," he smiled. Wanda was beyond confused. She hurt a lot of people in Kamar-Taj and she killed a few people within the multiverse, so why was Stephen acting like this towards her?

Wanda shook her head, "Why... Why are you being nice to me? After all the chaos I caused?"

Stephen sighed, "Anyone would be angry after losing their children, Wanda. You retaliated in an extreme way but..." his eyes drifted towards you, "I trust Y/N when she says that you have a good heart somewhere within you. You're proving that you care by helping to rebuild Kamar-Taj." Wanda visited the sacred grounds from time to time offer her help in any way the sorcerers needed, she sometimes even used her magic to help the reconstruction of the walls and buildings. She did her best to not use magic often though, she was secretly afraid of herself and her own abilities. She didn't trust herself. She would never forgive herself for the pain she caused.

"Y/N doesn't know what she's talking about," Wanda replied.

"Y/N is scary, I wouldn't let her hear you say that," he joked with a smirk.

Wanda couldn't help but smile in response as she returned her gaze back towards the ground. She couldn't help but take a quick glance up towards you though. An ache within her heart appeared at the sight she saw, her smile quickly dropped into a frown.

You were still talking to Thor, but a certain girl was quickly approaching you. Your smile widened upon seeing her. America Chavez. Thor held your drink as you engulfed the girl in a tight hug.

Stephen had been the one to suggest that you look after America and you couldn't say no after the pleading look the girl had given you. America had been close to you ever since you continued to save her time and time again. You had always put yourself between her and danger. Wanda had hurt you in her attempts to kidnap America, a huge scar upon your upper arm was proof of that. In the heat of the moment, Wanda didn't care. But now? Wanda hated herself for what she had done to you. She was sceptical about starting a relationship with you, but your persistence and reassurance that you did indeed love her was hard to resist. Wanda had loved you for so long she forgot when she initially fell for you. She just wished that the relationship had started upon better terms.

You pulled away from America to playfully slap Thor on the arm, presumably because of a joke he had made. Wanda smiled sadly at the scene.

"Have you talked to America yet?"

"No," Wanda said, "Every time I try... I'm at a loss for words. I'm happy that she's comfortable with Y/N, but she will never be comfortable with me. Nothing I say will gain forgiveness. I'm not even sure I deserve forgiveness."

"Don't say that," Stephen replied, "I'm sure everything will fall into place eventually. I won't lie to you, Wanda. I'm still in the process of forgiving you for what you did to Kamar-Taj. But believe me when I say that you and I are on good terms."

Wanda wished she could believe his words. But a constant insecurity was knocking about in the back of her head. The loud whispers coming from the Darkhold certainly weren't helping the situation either.

With a shaky breath, Wanda spoke, "I'm sorry, Stephen."

"I know you are, Wanda," he placed a comforting arm around her shoulders, giving her a brief squeeze before pulling away. He then took a couple steps back - the sudden space between the pair confused Wanda...

But then her eyes locked onto someone else approaching.

Wanda's hands flew to her jacket pockets, effectively hiding her darkened fingers. Her eyes quickly darted back down towards the floor.

"Hey... Wanda..." an uncertain voice escaped the girl.

"Would you like me to give you some space, America?" Stephen asked.

Wanda expected her to say no. There's no way America would be comfortable standing alone with her. Never.

"Yes, please," she nodded towards him.

Wanda's eyes looked back up in shock at the girl's words. Stephen gave the pair a warm smile before heading off towards you and Thor, you happily greeted him with open arms.

America fiddled with a loose thread falling off of the bottom of her jacket, "So..." she whistled, "I'm surprised you even came to the party. I'm guessing mom- Y/N convinced you?"

Wanda wasn't a stranger to being in the presence of America. The young girl usually hung around you a lot. You and America had been living in a small apartment together, near the Sanctum Sanctorum. You had begged Wanda to live with you and America, you would've loved to start a family with her properly... But of course, Wanda refused time and time again - continuously hating the thought of how she must have scarred America... How she must have scarred you. She was still confused at how you managed to love her after all she did... And now Wanda lived alone, moving from place to place. She was glad that the compound had been rebuilt, you had convinced to let Wanda have her own room within the building again. Wanda spent most of her time confined in those walls - a place where she couldn't hurt anyone.

"Of course she did," Wanda finally replied with a nod. It was growing harder and harder to deny anything you wanted.

Wanda looked up towards you once again. She had to hold back the tears. She had watched you be a great parent towards America for a few months now... But whenever she saw the two of you interact, all she could think about was how she had killed a father without hesitation in another universe. She couldn't help but think that she might kill you one day on accident.

"Well... I'm glad you came," America gulped hard, still slightly scared of how Wanda would react to her. This effectively pulled Wanda away from her harmful thoughts.

"O-Oh? I won't be staying much longer."

"I don't think Y/N would like that," she laughed, "We both know what she's like. She'll end up dragging you back here whether you like it or not."

She wasn't wrong. Wanda knew that you would love for her to stay. You had promised you would come straight back to her once you had said hello to a couple of the other Avengers you hadn't seen in a while. Wanda understood. It had been a long time since everyone had been in the same place at the same time.

"I'm stalling. We both know I am," America sighed, Wanda finally looked at her in response, "Look, Wanda. I... I know how much Y/N means to you. She means a lot to me, too. She was the only person who I've met across the multiverse who I actually wanted to stay with for good. But I don't want to get in the way of you two."

Wanda quickly shook her head, "You aren't getting in the way, you-"

"But I am!" America groaned in frustration, "I'm the reason you two aren't even living together."

"That was my choice."

"But why?"

Wanda bit her lip, "Because I can't. I want to. But I can't. It's not just because of you," she tried to convince the girl, "It's because of Y/N too. I'm scared I'll lose control and hurt you both. I can't live with you two because... because of what I put the both of you through. Especially you, America. You hate me and I wouldn't want to put any strain between yours and Y/N's relationship-"

"Wanda, that was almost a year ago-"

"It doesn't matter, I still regret it. I still have nightmares about who I was. Who I am," she then held up her hands in front of her, revealing her fingers, "I've been cutting down on the magic. I need to. I've hurt too many people. You didn't deserve anything that I did to you. I was in the wrong and both you and Y/N showed me that. I-"

Wanda was quickly cut off by a tightening feeling around her middle. She looked down in shock and confusion to see America. The young girl's arms were secure around her in a tight hug.

"You need to stop beating yourself up over this, Wanda."

A stray tear fell from Wanda's eye, "America..." her voice still shaky.

"Y/N and I have talked about everything that happened. I know what you did was wrong, but you are on the path to being better. Not a lot of people want to try to be a better person."

Wanda finally returned the hug, her own arms cautiously came up around America - she really hoped that she wouldn't hurt the girl. Her hands shook as they moved. A heavy sigh escaped Wanda, "I'm sorry, America."

"I know you are. And I forgive you."

"What-?"

"I forgive you," America affirmed once again, "Maybe you need to work on forgiving yourself. I'd like it if you moved in with us. It's becoming hard to listen to Y/N cry every night because you aren't there. I... I think you would complete our family, Wanda."

Wanda tightened her arms around America in response. A family. With you. That was something Wanda only dreamed about... She had seen those other universes where you and her had lived a happy domestic life together. It was hard not to go to one of those instead of searching for her children.

"Room for one more?"

America and Wanda pulled apart.

"She's all yours," America smiled before she took a step away, "Kamala promised me she would show me her powers so..."

You gave her a brief hug before allowing her to take her leave.

"Y/N..." Wanda finally whispered once the two of you were alone. Another tear fell quickly.

"You know I hate to see you cry," you sighed, sadly. You then reached forward and placed a comforting hand on her cheek, wiping away the tears with your thumb. It was now your turn to pull Wanda into a hug, "I heard America ask you to move in with us. I hope she can convince you if I can't."

"I don't know-"

"Please," you said as she held you just as tight as you held her, "We both want you to. I really want you to. I want to wake up next to you everyday. I want us to be a family. You still deserve to be a mother, Wanda."

A mother...?

No. No way did she deserve that. She couldn't-

"Don't listen to those thoughts..." you muttered, placing a soft kiss against her cheek. You had similar powers to an empath so you could feel other people's feelings, but only if they were strong and intrusive. The hatred within Wanda, for herself, was still as strong as it was all those months ago when you confessed that you loved her, "If you stay with us... With me... I'm sure you will forgive yourself. You'll see just how important you are to our family."

Our family.

"I don't deserve you, Y/N. I will never know how you can still love someone like me after the things I did."

"I've loved you for a lot longer than you think. I don't think I could ever stop. Deep down you have a good heart. You just need to learn how to use it," you leaned back to look at her, your arms still around her neck, "Please... Just give our family a try? For me?" your heart was beating fast, hoping and praying that she would say yes. All you wanted was for her to try.

Wanda looked away, her silence was slowly breaking your heart. You loved her dearly, but you had no idea where your relationship would even go from here if she said no.

"Wands...?" you whispered, silently begging for an answer.

And her answer came.

She looked back at you before quickly diving in, her lips connecting with yours. Your arms tightened around her neck in response, your eyes closed at the contact. You hadn't been physically close with Wanda for a few weeks now, her fear of hurting you kept coming and going and it was putting a strain on your relationship. You smiled into the kiss as you felt her hold you as close as possible, not wanting to let you go.

"I'll take that as a yes," you laughed as you pulled away from her.

"You can take that as an 'I'll try'. For you. For her," her eyes glanced towards America who was currently freaking out over Kamala's powers.

She still missed her children. Billy and Tommy. She would miss them until her final days. But you and America had given her another chance at being a mother, and she was going to try her hardest to make things right. Having a family with you was a dream come true.

"I love you, Wanda," you said, taking one of her hands off of your waist to bring it towards your face. You placed a soft kiss upon her fingers, "All of you."

Wanda's breath hitched, "I-I love you too, detka. Always," she managed to breath out before a flood of tears followed after. The two of your quickly connected again with a much needed kiss.

You couldn't wait to wake up next to this woman in the morning.

A certain multiverse-travelling girl looked at her two parents from afar with love and happiness in her eyes. Perhaps Wanda would learn to forgive herself. Eventually.

Thanks for reading! ( Also available on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40517796 )

I don’t know if I will make another follow up part where Wanda is learning how to be a mother again to America? I kinda need some fluffy domestic Y/N x Wanda stuff so maybe....

(So I made a follow up part... Chapter 2)

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Deep Cover: Initial Thoughts

Okay, this one is a lot to look at , especially given how relatively little is actually said. Still, I think I'm starting to make sense of it, so here's my analysis that I've figured out so far.

I'll be using @/oehale on Twitter's translation of Kotoko's voice drama Yonah. As usual, I'll be bolding my general topics/thoughts and moving forwards with that. Let's get started!

Kotoko sees herself as the new warden.

The most obvious comparison here is the mimicking of UNDERCOVER. Kotoko, like the original UNDERCOVER, has lyrics that start with "UNDER" and are followed by talking about the other prisoners. She also basically says as much to Es; they're working together now. They should work together to make the "right" Milgram.

It's pretty obvious that our little innocent deal with Kotoko has gone straight to her head. She now sees herself as part of the authority of the prison, and believes it's her role to give out the proper punishment for guilty verdicts. However...

Kotoko believes everyone in the prison (other than her) should be guilty.

This is pretty obvious based on those previously mentioned "UNDER" lines. They're all very critical. Notably, the ones that most clearly indicate this-- towards the end of the song-- only include the innocent prisoners, but she's made it pretty clear that she agrees the earlier guilties should have also been guilty.

“UNDER” Doltish “001 Parasite” “UNDER” Obscene “002 Slut” “UNDER” Incessant “004 Phony Queen” “UNDER” Doomed “005 Dissection Pawn” “UNDER” Concealing “007 Deceiver” “UNDER” Inept “011 Guard”

Even Es, the "inept guard," gets to face Kotoko's judgment! That line is interesting in conversation with the audio drama, which focuses on Kotoko calling Es weak because they've grown to like and have sympathy for the prisoners. Kotoko has come to view Es, someone who is willing to forgive the guilty (in her perception) prisoners, as being guilty as well for not condemning them.

(Also, 011? Are you implying that something will happen after the tenth? Am I right about a Trial 4 in which we'll vote on Es??)

Notably, for Kotoko, wanting everyone to be voted guilty basically means that she wants everyone else to die. In the intro to the second Trial, Kotoko said that she wouldn't go as easy next time, and Mahiru already nearly died this time around.

So ridiculous, isn’t it ridiculous They’re still here, still here, it grates me

This also definitely seems pretty "get everyone else out of here (kill them)" to me, especially given that it's shown after Kotoko smashes all the pieces representing the innocent prisoners as well.

The guilty ones were already broken earlier into the MV:

Futa's and Mahiru's were broken first; they've already been "broken" in the sense that they've been attacked. The other guilty prisoners go next, as they're Kotoko's next targets. Then, finally, the rest of the originally innocent prisoners, who Kotoko hopes will be voted guilty sooner rather than later.

This is also a small note, but I find it interesting that the line "I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it" was initially translated as "I need a good reason to give justice" in the Trial 2 Song Preview. The specific reference to execution was added/wasn't emphasized in the original version. I don't know what the "correct" direct translation is, but I always stand by the fact that if the translators chose to translate something in a certain way, it's intentional.

(Side note, but I wonder if UNDERCOVER's change in official lyrics to include all of the prisoners' Trial 1 song titles happened when they decided to mimic it in Deep Cover, which also includes the Trial 1 song titles. Could be a reason for the change in translation.)

And, uh... that's all I got. That I'm confident about, anyways. I still have other thoughts, though, so rather than me having bolded claims as section titles, I'm just gonna have, like... categories.

The Girl

You.

We've seen her before, in HARROW:

So, she's the one Kotoko rescued from this guy, right? That's what this seems to be telling us. However, there are a couple of important details to consider.

Where's her hat?

What about the girl in the white dress?

What about the girl in the pink shirt?

I'll get back to 1 in a bit.

The girl with the white dress in question only appears shortly in HARROW, and as far as I can tell, not at all in Deep Cover:

It could technically be the same girl, I guess, given that we can't see her face. However, then there's the pink shirt girl:

There's also still this thing from HARROW:

In my original HARROW theory, I theorized that the guy abducted Kotoko (the girl in the pink shirt), but the girl in the white dress distracted him/sacrificed herself long enough for Kotoko to get away. The memorial/potentially a police notification?/whatever the sign with the flowers is belongs to the white dress girl. Kotoko then later tracks down the guy who did it, when he's abducting the girl in orange. Kotoko then kills him.

Honestly, I think that this still tracks. We didn't really get anything else about the memorial, the girl in white or the girl in pink in this MV-- or the guy she killed, for that matter-- so there aren't any conflicts. I'll be moving forward assuming that that's true.

So, then, back to the orange girl. She isn't wearing the hat Kotoko gave her when we see her getting dragged off. What does that mean?

Establishing the Timeline

It seems most likely to me that most of Deep Cover happens after HARROW's murder. That's not just because the opening shot of Deep Cover looks like the end of HARROW. There's a lot more going into that.

First off, there's the girl. I initially thought that she might be Kotoko's sister, given the apparent familiarity Kotoko seems to show to her, rubbing her head in the park scene. However, once I remembered my initial theory, there are only really two possible interpretations I can think of for her involvement with the man Kotoko kills.

Either

She isn't at all related to Kotoko, and they "met" when Kotoko rescued her by killing the man, OR

She IS Kotoko's sister, in which case Kotoko probably used her as bait to lure out the guy in order to follow him back to his warehouse and kill him.

The second one was my initial read, but after looking at it longer, I think the first one makes more sense on the whole. If I'm right that the first thing that happens in the Deep Cover MV is the murder, that means that the park scene happens after it.

This isn't hard evidence or anything, but notably, the hat the girl has says "LUCKY" on it. If she's lucky, it probably means that she's lucky that she survived the situation with the man. It wouldn't be luck if she was planted there by Kotoko; it would only be luck if she happened to be the victim who's abduction lined up with Kotoko's rescue mission.

The park scene is still a little confusing to me if they were strangers, though. After all, Kotoko pretty pointedly ignores the girl at 2:06 to 2:19ish, and as far as I can tell, nothing major happened between the park and then.

There are three main explanations I can think of.

The first one is that the girl tried to stop her. Like, maybe she thought it was really cool when Kotoko rescued her, but when she realized Kotoko went to go threaten/possibly kill someone who, like, stole something from a business or something, she thought that was too much. This is pretty much entirely based upon the fact that the "Tell me why you tell me stop" lyric lines up suspiciously well with the change in the girl's expression from happiness to surprise, and then eventually what looks like fear.

The second one is that Kotoko is distracted at that point. In the park, we see Kotoko still looking at her phone, presumably looking for more wrongdoers. She spends time with the girl while simultaneously working, so it's no bother to her to spend time with the girl. However, when the girl tries to greet her later, she's in work mode. After passing the girl, we see Kotoko marching on forward with smoke (?) around her. It's very dramatic and she looks very threatening. It's even possible that she's doing a werewolf transformation type of thing there. If Kotoko has her sights set on a target, she might be more unwilling to waste time talking to the girl. This would signify that the people she rescues are irrelevant to her; her focus is on punishing wrongdoers, not checking in on saved would-be-victims.

The third one is that the park actually happened after the thing on the street, but given that she's already wearing the hat on the street scene, which she first wears in the park, that doesn't make a lot of sense.

I think the second option makes the most sense, so it's what I'll be going with.

So, the timeline looks like this:

Kotoko, as a child, is abducted by that one guy. She wears a pink shirt in the flashback. The girl in the white dress intercepts and allows Kotoko to escape. Years later, after becoming a vigilante, Kotoko tracks down the same guy and kills him, rescuing the orange outfit girl in the process.

The orange outfit girl finds Kotoko in the park and either receives or shows Kotoko the hat she got. Kotoko, while still looking at information for her next target, entertains her because she isn't actively busy.

The girl tries to approach Kotoko on the street. However, Kotoko is heading after her next target, and there's no time to lose. The expression of intensity and general coldness Kotoko gives off intimidates the girl, and Kotoko proceeds with her plans.

So, that's how Kotoko's murder works, right? There's absolutely nothing else related to time that could drive me insane!

...

Becoming a Lunatic (The Moon Phases)

Okay, Kotoko's a werewolf, she attacks on the full moon, we all get it. Except... goddamn it, there's more moon than just the full moon.

As far as I can tell, there are three moon phases that are shown across HARROW and Deep Cover. The first one I'm talking about is the full moon.

The Full Moon

The wolf zone occurrence of the full moon in HARROW lines up with when she kills the guy, which makes sense. In Deep Cover, it's preceding the time where she smashes all of the remaining innocent prisoners. That hasn't happened yet.

Because moon cycles happen repeatedly, I think it's okay to say that the full moon happened in the past, when Kotoko killed the guy, and in the future, where Kotoko hopes to kill the other prisoners. It's even possible there's a full moon we didn't see when Kotoko attacked Mahiru and Futa.

Like, that's probably just a spotlight, but it definitely COULD be moonlight. Either way, we don't see the sky, so it at least isn't conclusively NOT a full moon then.

So, full moon = violence. What else?

The Waning Crescent

Disclaimer I know nothing about moons. I am working off of this chart from timeanddate.com. If it's wrong blame them, I can't find a better chart anywhere on the internet.

Notably, the waning crescent is what the moon is for pretty much all of HARROW, except the quick appearance of the full moon at the end. There are clearly visible shots of it around 1 minute and 2 minutes in.

I don't really know what specifically waning crescent is supposed to mean here. Google says that it's about change and reflection, but spoilers, that's what it also told me about the third moon phase that shows up, so I don't know how much stock to really put into that.

I think the most obvious (?) symbolism of it is that it's right before the new moon, when the light isn't shining at all. If I had to take a stab at what the new moon represented, I'd say it's times in which Kotoko is powerless. She's powerless when she's looking for information before the first murder, she's powerless when looking at her crossed out board (more on that later), and she's powerless now-- when we're going to vote. She can't give out justice without our help. This is the last part before we give our verdict on her, so as she's looking around at the other prisoners, innocent and guilty alike, she's preparing to be able to do nothing. She hopes she'll get back to that full moon and exact justice on the other prisoners, but that's only hypothetical for now.

Let's talk about that board really quickly. This is how it looks in the middle of Deep Cover, when the crescent shows up:

This is how it looks at both the beginning and end of HARROW:

This is another reason to believe that Deep Cover happens after the end of HARROW. After all, it'd be hard to un-black out the papers, and given that they're hanging in basically the same positions, it'd be surprising if they were replaced papers. So, that means that Kotoko blacks out her information sometime after she successfully kills the guy.

The scene with the blacked out board is immediately followed by the final moon phase, and then by the girl in orange in the park.

The Third Quarter Moon

The crescent moon on top of the board directly fades into this third quarter moon. This made sense to me until I saw the arrow on the moon phase chart telling me to read it counterclockwise. Then I was confused.

Because the third quarter moon happens immediately before the waning crescent, I think that this moon shift is meant to serve as a time rewind. The scene with the girl in the park (and therefore also, the girl on the street) happens before the scene with the blacked out board. This supports the idea that Kotoko ignored the girl because she was taking out a target; after that scene, all her targets are gone, so Kotoko can cross out the information about them on her wall.

This also checks out with the stuff with the girl in the park and on the street happening after Kotoko kills the guy, given that the third quarter moon comes a little bit after the full moon.

There's no occurrence of the third quarter moon in HARROW. However, it does actually show up one other time in Deep Cover.

At 2:28, the moon shows up in third quarter again, then transitioning to a pink full moon. I'd assume that this shift backwards in the moon cycle, as it did earlier, signifies turning back in time. However, the pink full moon refers to Kotoko killing all of the remaining Milgram prisoners, an event that's already in the future. What happens after the hypothetical future scenario of Kotoko killing everyone?

The answer is, Kotoko collapsing in the wreckage of the destruction she caused. She's in her warden outfit, so it's consistent. The scratch marks probably indicate that this is immediately after she turns back from being a werewolf, in the hypothetical pink full moon.

This indicates that, somewhere in her mind, Kotoko realizes that she might suffer from killing everyone else, collapsing under the weight. It does seem like Kotoko understands that being the one true savior is difficult.

K: I know it well. It's so hard to hold the responsibility of a guard all alone. I've also felt this way. You are such a kind person. You can't stand the prison changing with the power of your choices. So you need someone to be with. Leave all of the dirty work to me.

Even if she wants to present herself as someone who's crushed her own weakness, she still has to worry. The lyrics of the chorus are begging Es to give her her next target. If she doesn't have people to target, she doesn't have purpose. Her board is all blacked out; the guilty prisoners will be crushed. Once all that's said and done... what else is she going to do?

Conclusion

Anyways, that's my best shot at understanding this MV. It is... confusing. The main things I still don't understand across the two MVs are the many wolves with purple glowing eyes in HARROW and what the hell the pieces that represent the other prisoners in Deep Cover are. If they're not chess, then what are they???

oh wait lmao i forgot

VERDICT: GUILTY

We already knew this one.

I can't tell Kotoko that it's right to kill the rest of the prisoners, and she really needs to be restrained. I don't know exactly what the damage is gonna be to Kotoko's mental state, but for the safety of everyone else, I kinda have to. She makes fair points about us verbally torturing prisoners not being that different from physically harming them, but... we're at the very least not shooting to kill?? Like, if you kill them, there's no hope at redeeming them. That's what we're trying to do, even if the tactics Milgram gives us are less than ideal.

Anyways, tell me your thoughts and if any of this made sense! Happy end of Trial 2!

[ghostofskywalker]

hellooo! i'm really excited about your winter ficlets and wanted to request something!

what about “I don’t think either of us are qualified for this, but sure, go for it” with tech? i'm really wondering what he wouldn't be qualified for. 🤭 and i don't mind about the reader's pronouns, you can write what you're up to!

hello! this was such an interesting and fun prompt for him, i hope you enjoy my interpretation!

words: 840

summary: omega's in a bad mood, and neither you nor your boyfriend know what to do about it.

note: the mechanics of this fic rely on the idea that when they're on Ord Mantell, the batch rent an apartment so that they're not on the ship all the time.

Not Qualified

clone troopers masterlist || request a winter ficlet

The sound of Omega’s door slamming shut echoed throughout the tiny apartment, and you could have sworn you heard some of the plates in the cabinet rattle. Not sure what to do, you looked at Tech. “Any idea what that’s about?”

Looking as confused as you felt, he shook his head. “I understand that Omega may be worried that Hunter, Wrecker, and Echo haven’t returned by now, but this behavior is far from normal for her.”

“Do you want to check on her and make sure everything is okay?”

He looked at you like you had just suggested that he wrestle a gundark with his bare hands. “What?”

“Someone should check on Omega,” you said, a confused look on your face. “She clearly needs to talk to someone right now.”

“What about you?”

Your eyes widened. “I don’t know how qualified I am for something like this. Usually bounty hunters can just kill their problems, and that’s definitely not what needs to happen here. Besides, you’re her brother.”

“Look, I don’t think either of us are qualified for this,” Tech said. “But we should still go for it.”

As you looked at his face, you could see a glimpse of something in his eyes that you didn’t quite recognize at first, until it came to you. Tech was nervous. It made sense of course, because Hunter, Wrecker, and Echo had embraced their newfound role of “big brother” a little easier than he did, because he had always been a little bit less social than the rest of the crew. Hells, it had taken you what felt like forever to finally get him to realize that you liked him, and the relationship you had with him was still just barely out of the friend zone. You knew it had to be nerve-wracking right now, to be the only one of his brothers here and having a issue that can’t necessarily be solved with cold hard facts, and you reached out to take his hand. “Come on, let’s go together.”

A gruff “come in” sounded through the door moments after you knocked, and the door opened to reveal Omega laying face down on her bed, with the plush Aiwha you had gotten for her at a market laying haphazardly on the floor (which was likely launched into the air from the momentum of her throwing herself on the bed).

You were definitely not prepared for this, but it would be much worse to just turn around and leave, so you took a few steps into the room. “I can tell that something is bothering you honey,” you said gently. “Do you want to talk about it? It may make you feel better.”

She pulled her body upwards off the bed, and you could see the way her eyes shined with tears. “When is everyone else going to come back?” she asked, and your heart broke.

Growing up where she did and being watched over exclusively by Kaminoans clearly affected her, and now that she had found something of a family it had to be hard to watch some of them leave. Even if it was simply for a mission, part of the team leaving meant that she still had to spend more time without the people she cared so deeply about. “I don’t know,” you admitted softly. “But they won’t be gone forever, I know that.”

Tech looked like he was going to open his mouth to say something, but you shot him a quick glare. Yes, you knew that every mission meant the chance of serious injury or death, and Omega probably knew that too, but technicalities were not what she needed to hear right now.

Thankfully, he seemed to get the message. “Yes, Hunter, Echo, and Wrecker will be back as soon as they can,” Tech said, and you watched as Omega ran over to him. He definitely looked a little shocked as his sister threw her arms around him, and you could see the way he looked to you for help. You mimed wrapping your arms around something to give him a little hint of what to do in this moment, and he nodded quickly.

You watched as Tech followed your hint, and you could see Omega’s tears start to stop. You knew that her heartbreak wasn’t something that could be fixed right away (or maybe at all), but with some time (and maybe a little bit of ice cream), you might be able to help make this a little less difficult for her.

It was impossible to ignore the smile that crept over your face at the sight of Omega clutching onto Tech like he was going to disappear, simply because he looked really surprised when it first happened. You had a feeling though, that he would be settling into his newfound role as big brother a little easier from now on.

And maybe, later you would get to gleefully inform him that he was wrong about neither of you being qualified to help in this particular situation.

- the end -

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[willowhistle]

how season 4 of tvd should have gone (klaroline edition):

- caroline breaks up with tyler near the start of the season like the writers should’ve done

- she partly blames klaus for their breakup (rome wasn’t built in a day okay)

- but then after having the best date w him at the miss mystic thing in exchange for a hybrid she starts to warm up to him (+ the date didn’t end when it did, instead of going to talk to stefan straight away after, she comes home late because she spent most of the evening sat talking with klaus - and she’ll totally deny it - but she was so caught up in talking to him that she barely realised everyone from the event was long gone and they were still sat on that bench together) he totally offers to drop her off home like the gentleman he is btw but she says no and decides she’s spent enough time w klaus for the day

- cue confused and conflicted caroline

- tyler and hayley still try and kill klaus w the hybrid plot but caroline isn’t involved bc she’s not w tyler anymore. oh and klaus kills hayley instead of making the stupidest decision of his life

- klaroline still have their spat though before going to find bonnie and the 12 witches and that whole “you’re in need of comfort” scene plays out the same too bc they wouldn’t be klaroline without the back and forth arguing and conflicting feelings and denial

- but when the gilberts kill kol and trap klaus inside of the house, caroline’s a lot more gentle about it

- but klaus still ends up biting her bc despite the fact they’re not together tyler would still probably care about her to some degree and he’d ofc be running his mouth so klaus would feel like he’d have to get back at him

- and i could never want to get rid of the scene where he chooses her over revenge against tyler (and realises how important caroline is to him)

- that all plays out as normal but instead of her leaving the next day as if nothing happened i’d like to think she stays w klaus until the barrier is lifted. he’s definitely shocked by that decision (and so is she tbh but her bleeding heart is making the choice on that one and despite her head telling her to go leave and help her friends who hate the guy she’s currently sat with, she can’t help listening to her heart that’s demanding she stay sat with him)

- and they both totally start out rlly snarky with each other bc they have issues let’s be honest. but she eases up and becomes a lot softer when he first mentions kol to her since his death.

- and he becomes a lot softer every time he looks at her bloodied shirt from where he staked her bc while he’s not one to feel guilt or regret, caroline manages to bring out these new feelings within him

- and by the time the barrier is lifted they both feel a lot more calm. they practically melted into the other’s presence. and they know a lot more about each other. like caroline could now list 10 historical figures that klaus has met and how his encounters w them ended (some a bit bloody). and klaus could tell you all the things caroline enjoys about being a vampire (bc she finally admitted that she prefers herself this way after a gentle nudge from klaus) - although he could probably tell you that before their conversation

- but life gets in the way again and caroline goes to deal w her friends (who question her endlessly about where she’s been but don’t actually care about the answer beyond annoyance at her bc they’re busy discussing what they’re gonna do next about the cure)

- but if caroline finds herself not running away the next time she’s alone at the grill and klaus goes up to her, she can’t blame anything except for this weird longing she has to talk to him or just spend time with him.

- so she does

- klaus 100% goes home all giddy and blushing after spending time w caroline for something that’s not a distraction, or a plot, or life or death, but just them two and nothing else in between.

- caroline on the other hand goes home expecting to freak out and feel angry with herself or disappointed but struggles to bc how could she when she feels so light and relaxed for the first time in ages (if she’s really being honest with herself, for the first time since she spent the day with klaus at the miss mystic event)

- cue caroline not putting up w as much of non humanity elena’s BS because she has klaus whispering in her ear half the time to not just sit there and take it. and that it’s not her issue to worry about elena to the point of coddling or treat her as something fragile.

- when silas gets in klaus’ head most of that goes the same. i mean they’d probably be a lot more friendly w each other (?) but they’d still have that big argument w the whole “don’t turn your back on me” bc again it’s a big point for klaroline in my mind

- but it definitely ends a lot different in my head (with a kiss, or a make out session bc all that tension and then relief at none of the pain being real has to go somewhere)

- the clean up would be a tad more awkward after bc caroline would NOT want to address the kissing, but she doesn’t immediately run out on him after which says tons

- him thanking her having more longing eye contact than it did in the show (somehow), and caroline’s reaction to the “friends, then?” line from klaus having a MUCH more different meaning. bc they’d just done something far beyond friendly. but she’s not going to be the first to address it… yet