#and i actually have to censor myself

[spoi1er-a1ert]

are we coming up on a year of Jon Kent being out as bisexual? yes

do i still have to bite my tongue about how much i hate current (aged up) jon kent because it makes me seem biphobic when in reality it’s just because i miss super sons and ship damijon? yes

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[phleb0tomist]

people love telling me not to isolate myself when I’m having a crisis- reach out, don’t hide, etc- and while that’s a lovely sentiment, a lot of people don’t seem to understand what it entails in practice? like they truly don’t seem to have considered that me being open during my mental health crisis will mean them actually Seeing and Hearing small parts of that crisis.

“don’t hide yourself” seems to come with a secret caveat of “but don’t be unpalatable either”. often my openness leads not to support but to an ethics debate about whether it was condemnable of me to let my struggle be slightly visible. interesting. when i wear short sleeves or make casual mention of the long-term aftermath of my self injury, it’s somehow perceived as me saying “self injury is awesome! i think the whole world should do it!” instead of being perceived as me living exactly as i always have, just hiding a little less, bringing you into my world a tiny bit, like you asked. healed scars are the only ones i allow to be seen, i cover up healing injuries and i don’t talk about methods or anything overly specific or sensational. i openly discuss harm reduction measures & therapeutic strategies. but somehow ppl still disapprove of the snippets they see when i reach out.

if you want people to reach out during crisis you have to accept that theres no way for a person to make themselves palatable while theyre showing you their severe mental illness lmao. they’re not going to provide you constant caveats while sharing their feelings like “ive been having trouble coping so i fell back on self injury. but i don’t condone it! YOU shouldn’t do it and I condemn myself for having done it btw! I will never forgive myself for this expression of mental illness, i’m so sorry I revealed it to you.”

this post might be a vent I can’t rly tell. open to conversation if anyone has any similar experiences 👍

[pepperpixel]

Initial drawings of that old man… I literally, I haven’t finished reading the book of bill yet!!! I had to stop and take a break for a week to feverishly draw fanart of myself petting fords floofy hair and giving him attention and shit…!!!! The urge was too great….!! I’ve literally. I had a crush on this guy the instant he was first REVEALED in the show, but I did not have the artistic prowess to draw good looking old men back then… but I do now… thank god… thank fucking god

[skunkes]

[crimsonmonsoon]

I really liked TGCF (obviously… obsessing over Qi Rong still) and I want to try MDZS but I’m put off by sex scenes. Like I want to read it because I know it’s probably really good but I don’t want the smut to ruin it for me.

[magentagalaxies]

vent incoming:

got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!

[moritashie]

I HAD A FIC IDEA vol #12

Peter and tony fight some robot, straight out of a night terror. Once the blood is spilled and the machine is detained, Tony wants to study it. Despite the fact that the nightmare-ish thing has almost killed him.

Peter asks tony to get rid of it, dismantle it as soon as possible, since

a) it almost killed Tony

b) he is simply terrified of it's devilish appearance.

Tony lets out a sound Peter perceives as an approving "mhm".

Tony doesn't get dismantle the robot.

Peter's sense doesn't stop tingling

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

If there is at least one thing I can credit FE for doing better than Tales in localization, it's not trying to actively go out of their way for an entire game to avoid subtext or direct text between two men that is romantic or implied romantic. Funny when it's so present that the attempt doesn't even work; infuriating that it was attempted to begin with.

So as much as I often have issues with some of FE's localizations, at least they have a leg up on loc Tales for that.

[min-kit]

"why are you dropping e**ie for to**y? you just want to see bvck with a man, it's not about him having a good relationship!"

btch i could give you a 100 reasons why T0mmy is a good relationship for Bvck (not that any of you would listen) & that there's nothing wrong with enjoying the actual canon queer couple on my screen over a fanon one just cuz YOU think the story is heading in a direction that has never been promised to you and you can't let go of your fandom ideals.

in the mean time i'll be over here cheering on Bvck's canon happiness with his possible soon-to-be future canon boyfriend.

[angel-mutt]

i feel so disgusting! i hate how much body hair i have! i hate how fast my body hair grows! i hate how much i sweat! i hate how big my boobs are! i hate my posture! i hate how i pick at my skin so much! i hate how im such a coward! i hate how no one sees me for who i am! i hate how everyone sees a monster in me! i hate what i see when i look in the mirror! i want to blow my brains out but my floor is carpeted and i dont want to inconvenience whoever would have to clean that up! i want to burn my room down with me in it but my birth giver had a house fire when she was younger and it would give her a panic attack! i want to stab myself in the chest but im afraid i would change my mind! i hate! i hate! i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[arcaneyouth]

i have more restraint than god when it comes to creating things and yet people still always seem convinced i need to be told to stop to keep myself safe. you don't even know what i'm like when i don't restrain myself. if i wasn't listening to my body i'd be pumping out anywhere from 3-15 pieces of art every day. you don't even fucking know the unimaginable tidal wave of work i would do if i didn't know burning out sucks and do my best to avoid it. "don't work too hard willow!" you don't even know what working too hard is for me. i could be the machine of a content creator if i tried at the cost of my entire well being but i'm not because i like being a functional person. this IS me at a healthy level of self restraint bitch

[chaos-in-one]

Any idea how to find system focused spaces to join? Things like discord servers (although I’m wary with that due to past bad experience w/ discord servers ngl), websites, anything like that Honestly I just want to meet more people who share experiences with me and have actual conversations with them, I only talk to a handful of people atm and most of them are really busy so I am missing human interaction rn too

Before anyone asks, I don’t particularly care about syscourse stance of said spaces, as long as they’re chill with people who don’t overtly fit into anti or pro endo. I’m cool w/ being in any side of spaces other than that. Preferably though, more inclusive spaces when it comes to things like lgbtq+ identities because several alters in our system have ‘contradictory’ or otherwise lesser accepted labels so obviously I’m not gonna feel welcome in a space that doesn’t welcome me or anyone else here’s gender & orientation

[flamboyant-king]

You know me. I like barely ever show any NOT SAFE FOR WORK drawings on here. So instead, I'm sharing drawings of my face AS I was drawing each NOT SAFE FOR WORK thing.

And the subject is right there, smack dab in the middle. Being tormented by the sins of the egg. (I drew him really cute but I can't share the rest.)

ALSO, I'd like to state that it's not corngraphic except like two maybe, it's more so like violent. We are all just having fun beating this guy up. Like, step right up and stomp on his face type shih. I never ever ever draw violent stuff, unless it's lewling related, so this is like cathartic.

This uhh feeling will fade after Halloween hopefully and we'll go back to our regularly scheduled wholesomeness and cammypus.

[funnierasafictive]

your talks about knowing if someone is a fictive or not is fucking hilarious because like- for us SPECIFICALLY I’m essentally front personified and thus the perm fronter and front gatekeeper as of now but like!!!- for us we operate a lot on what we can (phantom) feel, hear or see- like yeah it’s not most clear but like- suddenly feeling picked up or splatted against a wall but not SEEING it happen to the body and KNOWING it’s not happening to your body is a REAL FAST reality check, drawing something and suddenly feeling like there’s wires under your skin shocking you half to death bc youmanaged to actually draw a brain buddy without realizing even more so.

would recomend checking to see if the voices register as “not yours” or “in another language”- even if you register the words and language if it doesn’t FEEL like what you know as yours/body’s you should check shit out- we primarily use body’s voice or I’m limited to it- however I DO register the spanish and such languages at times and I can 10000% tell you that juanaflippa threatened someone with a gun bc she didn’t want to see a “not my mate” throwing themself on me and I 1000% registered those words as rusian despite body being english only and the voice she had at her disposal as ONLY the body’s voice.

idk if any of this will help anyone but it MIGHT be more aproachable to ask them to say/do something a certain way involving your senses and check that way than other methods,,

AGH THATS SO TRUE. this is nicer than me going "annoy them" BAHAHA

[frogayyyy]

will my mum ever understand that i don’t like talking (as in it’s really physically difficult) sometimes, especially in the morning, and not get upset with me and make me feel guilty about it despite telling her countless times that this is why? 😃

i just vented in the tags sorry bout that :S