#and i keep thinking abt everything i have to do and how im not prepared at ALL to do them

[anaalnathrakhs]

it's rlly fun how my parents just straight up. do not care. about the disordered eating. we had all this talk back when i went through a big suicidal crisis a couple months ago, i explained what was really difficult for me, eating socially, restaurants, not choosing my food, etc, and now it's like. okay it didn't exist actually.

mother i am not going to order you around, either you accept that i'm gonna have difficulty dealing with "normal people behavior" or whatnot and you stop looking at me like :/ anytime i am anything but ecstatic at the idea of eating anything anytime anyhow, or you adapt your behavior to avoid the results you don't like to see. i'm only doing my best to handle things from my side, and i am certainly not going to try measuring for you how important family social eating occurences are to you.

[xiaoluclair]

.

[exopelagic]

i will not panic abt my exams

[lnfours]

🍊prompt = drunk confessions while one is taking care of the other

Pleaseeee do this where lando and reader and roommates. Lando goes on a date and reader is upset and gets drunk at home so landos taking care of her and is like why you’ve have so much to drink and she says cause of you

stop im gonna ugly cry thinking abt this

11.8k friends to lovers sleepover

your face felt tight as you scrolled through the tv, trying to find something to watch when the sound of the lock turning echoed through the apartment. the sound didn't excite you like it normally did, just made you bite down on your bottom lip to fight back the tears threatening to spill over your eyes. there wasn't enough preparation you could do to be willing to hear about how his date went tonight.

"hey," he said softly, the apartment door closing behind him, "what're you still doing up?"

you shrugged, "can't sleep."

he noticed the way the words sounded coming out of your mouth and as he neared the living room he spotted the bottle of wine on the coffee table, the empty wine glass sitting next to it.

"were you drinking alone?"

"mhm," your eyes were getting heavy with each second passing, and he could tell as you dropped the remote to the couch cushion. he neared you and offered his hands to you, making you look up at him as he sent you a small smile.

"let's go to bed, yeah?"

you nodded and took his hands, too tired to fight him. too tired to worry about how his date had went and wonder about if she was everything you couldn't be for him.

he led you into the bathroom, helping you as you sat on the counter. he reached around for your toothbrush. you popped it into your mouth, your eyes starting to close before he tapped your thigh. you hummed out of disapproval, wanting nothing more than to be in your bed.

"i know, honey," he said, "why'd you have so much to drink anyway?"

"because of you," you slurred, not noticing the way his body stiffened as you finished up.

"what do you mean?"

you sighed, "because you went on a date and i'm in love with you."

the shock on both of your faces mirrored each other as you looked up at him. the shock that you had let it slip and the shock that you actually felt the same way he did.

"i didn't-"

"no, don't take it back now," he said, slotting himself so he was standing between your legs, "please, don't take it back."

you looked up at him, unsure of what to say as he searched your eyes. he continued, "i'm back from my date early because i realized that what i've been searching for has been right in front of me all along and that's you."

he reached and tucked a stray piece of hair from your face, his hand resting on your cheek a moment after, "it's always been you."

your brain was working faster than you could keep up with as you pulled on the collar of his button up, tugging him closer to you. he let you, your lips meeting his in a kiss.

the kiss held years of pent up love and desire all packed into one singular motion. you pulled away, his breath fanning your face as you tried regaining your breath.

"i love you." you mumbled before letting him capture your lips in another kiss, his hands on your waist as yours snaked around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.

"i love you, more than anything."

[amesemii]

SPEND SOME MORE.

A/N; hey yall im sorry this took so long but i’ve been so busy with life. i have this and so much more to give you guys. MY REQUESTS ARE OPENNNN BTW GOSH. and imma make a part 2 to this i just didn’t wanna let it get toooo long and also i wanna force myself to write more…writers block kicking my ASS and i have literally NOOOO ideas💔 but here yall go.<3

synopsis;you go on your little date with constance, he gets you everything you like just for you to say your scared to trust him. that’s okay, he knows just the way to get you more confident with him.

W/C; 2.1k

Your back aches as you sit up from the bed, stretching out your aching muscles. you definitely slept wrong. you look at your phone and see that it’s 8:34 and you groan.

you hated waking up early, even if it was 8. so you get up (unfortunately) and go to your bathroom to start getting ready. You brush your teeth and fix your hair in a way so you can wash your face

You quickly finish your morning routine and go to your walk in closet and find something cute to wear, putting on your favorite smell.

your phone lights up with a text from connie and you’re quick to go grab it to talk a lil shit. i mean he was trying to take you out today right? might aswell give him a taste of the attitude he’s gonna have to deal with!

you decide to try and get a little information out of him about whatever he’s gonna try and have you doing.

you truly feel like he flaked on the shopping thing, you knew you were spoiled and were just fine with that. but you were shocked with his answer!

a little part inside of you tingles as you read that text imagining him saying it in his voice and you have to snap yourself out of your daze to reply to his text.

you tell him how he’ll just have to keep reminding you and he hearts the text. you go downstairs to see your caterer setting your plate and you thank her.

you scroll on your phone as you eat the breakfast prepared for you and your fathers comes out of his room all suited up ready to go.

“hi my little flower.” he says as he comes and kisses your forehead “hey da how did you sleep?” “not much sleep i had work to finish up on, where are you going today?”

you blush thinking about having to tell your father you’re going on a date with a man you only met last night. “i’m goin on a date da” “hm. with who?”

your father goes on to ask many questions about the person you’re going on a date with while you get an incoming call from none other than connie himself.

“hold on daddy” you mumble as you quickly get up giving him a kiss on his cheek as you walk into the livingroom to take your call.

“hi constance, what’s up”

“damn ma. you don’t listen to me at all, but what’s ya address so i can come pick you up?”

“oh i live at {address} “

“mmm you live in a fancy neighborhood? spoiled princess aren’t you.”

“mhmmm that’s why i said you wouldn’t be able to handle taking me out.”

“we’ll see mama. come outside im here.”

he hangs up and you go up to your dad telling him how you’re about to leave and your date is outside, he gets up mumbling abt wanting to meet the young man taking his baby out.

you open the door to see connie standing there with a money bouquet, a regular bouquet and a gift bag. your jaw drops a little and he just smiles.

“is this all for me?” you look at him and he smirks “nah it’s all for yer dad.” he says words dripping with sarcasm and your father laughs. “oh i like him already, listen just treat my little girl right. she’s all i’ve got.” your father says reaching out a hand.

connie hands over your gifts and shakes your father hand and they both smile. “cmon pretty.” he grabs your hand and opens up the trunk for you to put the gifts in. he opens your door and waits for you to be fully in before he closes the door, waving at your father.

he gets in and his phone automatically connects to the car and frank ocean is playing lowly as you feel the beat slightly, he smiles at you and before he can say anything you’re interrupting “thank you so much for the gifts” you say smiling.

he pulls off and looks at you “there’s more of that today, you’re welcome tho mama” he drives with one hand after turning the music up so you decide to pull out your phone and scroll.

you feel his hand grip your thigh as he drives and you get butterflies but try not to let him see it effects you, ur supposed to be hard to get.

it’s easy to ignore him until his thumb start stroking your inner thigh and you damn near lose your mind. “con.” you try to say sternly while looking at him “oh so now im con?” he grumbles looking over at you. he thinks you’re just so cute trying to be all mad at him. he sees right through that facade you’re trying to hard to put up.

he pulls into the parking lot of the mall and you get excited deciding to mess with him “you sure you can handle this? i won’t get mad if you back out now” you say smirking at him.

he grabs your neck pulling you close to him over the center console and whispers in your ear “i’m sure. are you sure you can handle this though?” and you have to sit silently as your heart races you can’t decide what you want to say to him “hmm mama? no answer, that’s what i thought.”

he gets out and comes to open your door and opens it, giving a hand for you to grab and you do. nobodies ever really silenced you like that and he only truly got lucky you couldn’t find a comeback.

you hold hands as he walks you into the mall and he looks at you, “where to first?” “i think ill go to coach and look to see what their new collection is looking like” he shrugs and mumbles lead the way.

you hate walking in heels, you know that once u start being in them for a long time that it hurts so you don’t know why on earth you wore these damn heels. tryna be cute gon have ya legs fucked up and you know it.

you find some cute bags and ask him if this is okay and he just gestures towards the cash register, the woman looks at you and him and is quick to pop out with a quick remark “quite the expensive bags you’ve got here, do you want to put one or two back?” you look at the 2 big purses, 3 mini purses, and 4 wallets and you look up at connie to whisper something to him “actually i really want that purse and wallet set over there, do i have to put something back?” he looks over and walks away to grab it and you smile like a kid in the candy store when he says “this too” and the lady is extremely surprised.

“your total is $4,130.56, will you be paying cash or card?” connie looks up from his wallet shocked and u smirk feeling like you were correct and he says “wow, you said it was expensive.” as he hands the woman his card.

she bags all of your stuff and connie grabs the bag and you hand as you guys walk out of the shop. this goes on thru the day as you get stuff that you really want and he doesn’t even hesitate, whether it was with cash or his card.

At this point you’ve been walking for hours and connie has and arm full of bags. your feet are in so much pain and you think you might cry. connie has clearly proved himself today and you feel like you can be a little vulnerable with him.

all it took for him to stop walking was you to lightly tap him and mumble ‘con’ and he’s already looking at you and he can see the pain on your face “princess what’s wrong?” he’s quick to come to your aid as he puts you and the bags on the nearby bench.

his hand cups your face and you look away mumbling. connie grabs your face softly and says “i’m over here mami, speak up please.” “my feet hurt…” you bite your lip out of nervousness and connie grabs your shoes off your feet and puts them in a bag.

“do you wanna be done today or do you wanna keep shopping?” “m’ all done con” he shrugs and puts you over his shoulder, you guys were already near your exit so he just walks you out to his car and sets you inside so he can put the bags in the trunk.

connie gets in and looks over at you as you play with your hands in your lap “i don’t know why you didn’t tell me sooner, we could’ve bought you some shoes so you could switch.” and you can’t help but laugh.

“connie you’re actually so sweet” you say while smiling as you reach over to stroke his face, his lips are such a nice shade of pink, with that little mustache and a lil beard growing in, god he looks so good.

connie’s looking at your glossed lips and thinks about how gorgeous you are, both of you leaning in for a kiss. the kiss was nice at first, small pecks back to back, but then it became a make out.

both of you wanting more leverage over the other so it was very heated, you slide over the console to sit in connie’s lap and you feel him graze you under your skirt and safety shorts.

you whine when he catches you off guard, nibbling on your lip and he lets go “not now mama, not here.” and he’s setting you back over in your seat. you pout because why did he do that to you? give you such a nice kiss to not give you what you want in the end.

“what you wanna eat?” he looks over at you as he starts to drive ‘you’ you think to yourself as you think of something you could possibly be craving, i want (f/f) (it can be a place or just a regular food, whatever yall want)

once you guys get there you opt against going inside cause you’re just ready to be in bed. he tells the person what you want and he orders something simple for himself aswell.

h hands you your bag of food and you thank him, he looks over at you and smiles. “you will always get what you want with me mama” and he rubs your thigh.

you know that it’s only been 2 days and you’re probably moving very fast but he’s just so…charming? it’s just something about him that makes him so trusting but still he is a man.

“thank you, you know um…for today connie. even though i still think that you can’t handle me, it can’t hurt to give you a chance.” and he actually begins to chuckle because what did you just say?

“so you still don’t think i’m doing good enough for you mama?” he says grabbing you face making you look at him as he smiles, why did he have to look so fine rn?

“cmere mama.” connie pulls you close and you comply. you can’t help but stare at his lips and you too gravitate closer as if you were magnets of opposite ends.

you pull eachother close once your lips clash and it’s unholy the way you two are making out. his presence is so dominating and overpowering you can feel the pool in your panties and you begging rubbing on his torso when you start heavy breathing.

before anything can really even happen connie pull away and starts the car back up. “un un mama not here.” and your stomach sinks, did you do something wrong?? was he just playing and didn’t actually wanna take it far?

rejection was one of the many things your spoiled lil self couldn’t take, so since he hurt your feelings, it was only logical to you that you hurt his back, right?

you stare out the window with tears brimming your eyes from sadness and anger, too confused to know how to feel. why would he kiss you like that just to say not here?

while you brew in your emotions connie constantly looks over at you, watching you go through whatever you’re going through. he didn’t mean to upset you but he wanted it to be different. not in his car in a fast food parking lot.

you guys pull to a stop at a fresh yellow light and connie’s the first to speak. “mama i’m so-”

“ion want no apology from you constance. save that shit for somebody else, i knew you was too pussy to handle-” you couldn’t even finish your sentence before connie’s grabbing you but your neck pulling you into a kiss.

his other hand traveling down towards your pussy, his rubs on your thighs before pulling away to look at you “what baby, cat got your tongue? where’s all that sass you just had?”

the light turns green and connie starts driving towards his house and you clearly still have an attitude, that’s fine tho. connie knows how to handle that.

i’m really hoping yall liked this!! i’m trying really hard to write stuff but idk what i wanna write😭

ALSO {💋} is y’all’s name for inserts<3

[hyukalyptus]

hi hp!! did you know that orgasms could help reduce the feeling of menstrual cramps? 🤓

who among txt do you think would be most likely to… support you this way when you tell them you’re cramping :(

(totally not dealing with cramps right now nope 🤡)

- 🐳

hi!! omg im sorry its been a few days since u sent this in, hopefully ur feeling ok!

but omg! i wrote something about this on my old blog before it got permanently flagged. lemme see if i can find it~

ok..it was LONG long, so i cut it down~ shout out to @peachanonie for the thought in my inbox the first place :}

cw. periods, period sex, cunnilingus on period, period blood, everything about periods, sex toys, penetration (protection not mentioned), pet names (baby), TMI about my personal preferences lmfao.

peach: BEOMGYU!! i think he’d be a bit into bloodplay…. like the idea of it at least. but poor baby wouldn’t like the idea of hurting u like that so he’d never actually indulge cus it’s scary to him :( but! when he reads online somewhere that orgasms can be really good for periods… baby boy gets so curious

keeps reading and finds out ppl get extra sensitive when on their period too and he gets so 😳

at that point it’s just a matter of brining it up to u cus he’s a little shy when it comes to this stuff. tried to gently suggest it next time ur on ur period by hinting at it a bunch “did you know orgasms have a lot of benefits while on your period?” side eyeing you to see ur reaction LMAO he’s so cute.

but ofc ur not dumb and u see exactly what he’s doing… how cute he’d look while u tease him and make him feel small under u while u press kisses to his jaw and sweetly whisper how much you’d love to be pleasured by him if he wants to

as soon as he gets the okay, he’s practically jumping on you. starting at ur boobs and showing them LOTTTTSSSSS of love cus he knows how sensitive ur nipples get on ur period 🤭 wants to hear ur pretty noises so so bad so he doesn’t let up til he can’t take the excitement of eating u out ok ur period any longer.

makes sure everything is clean and prepared for a mess lol and then he GOES TO TOWNNNN. like i think as soon as he sees ur pretty pussy dripping with a mixture of period blood and arousal, he’d be fuckin floored and would dive straight for your clit (knowing it’ll pull the loudest moan out of u). and as soon as he actually TASTES you? instantly humping the bed. i think he’d cum in his pants quite quickly too 😭 poor baby just thinks u taste too good :( it’d turn him on so much. and with how hard you clench around his tongue, mixed with the taste of u in this state, i think he’d even maybe cum twice…… cus i know he’d be going at it for a looooooong time. just wanting to make u feel good and ease ur stress during this painful week :(

and when he finally lets up, he looks up at u with pretty little doe eyes, asking if u feel better and your heart just SWELLS at the sight of him. chin covered in ur release n blood, so so pretty for u….

already has a damp towel ready on the bedside table to clean u both up. and don’t expect him to fuck u after. no no no. all he wants is for you to gently stroke his cock while you lovingly make out, laying facing each other, til he whimpers into ur mouth that he’s cumming. pls pls PLS cuddle him to sleep, he wants to fall asleep with his head in ur chest :( and don’t even think abt getting dressed LOL u can wear underwear if u want cus ur on ur period but he will NOT allow you to get too hot in the night and ruin ur much needed sleep during such a stressful week for u! (it’s totally not because he wants to have a faceful of ur soft bare breasts to fall asleep to)

waking up the next morning to see a sleepy gyu with bed head and pajama pants laying out plates of pancakes for you both is honestly the best part.

service bf beomgyu is my weakness 😔

-🍑

me: ...peach. peach. PEACH. im in shambles. literally trying to think of anything to add lmao. but...this is soooo beomgyu.

i can totally see y'all sittin on the couch together and he's just scrollin thru his phone and ur just kinda groaning and he asks u what's up. you tell him ur on ur period and cramps are esp bad that day.

and he's like "...i read orgasms can kinda help w that..." and tries being as nonchalant as he can, but u catch on lmao. AND MAYBE! bc i see beomgyu's partner being a lil cheeky—you decide to tease him urself.

"oh ya? i think i heard that somewhere too..." nd u giggle just a bit, hopping off the couch, takin out ur tampon/cup lol, and returning w a lil vibrator. u bend over, ass toward him, slippin off ur pj shorts and he's just o.O then u plop back down, legs spread, spreadin ur lips a bit nd he sees u all wet and a bit bloody...speechless. u wanna tease urself, wanting his tongue to be the first thing that touches ur clit to get that "first touch" moan you know what i mean so u just switch it on, the sound of it alone makin u wet. and u kinda just rub it around your pussy for a bit, but he can't take his eyes off u.

"awe, jealous of my vibrator, baby?" and he just swallows and stutters a bit before he takes over and does everytHING

but i definitely need to write hcs for all of them!!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHH kicking nd squealing bc—my thing (TMI ALERT!!!) with period sex is i like penetration on my period. and i love seeing the bottom of my booty just barely covered in blood afterward. it literally makes me hnnggg. so just thinkin about yj takin someone from behind on their period, booty a lil bit red AH crying ><

[ssho197]

period started, now what about bf xiao caring for you?

pls send help my stomach hurts real bad god sleeping at night is going to be hell. hoping my pad keeps my bed safe from everything

so…….. have you guys heard of a rainbow kiss before………….. yeah me neither…………….

boyfriend xiao who definitely didn’t understand periods at all and just never asked questions, until a conversation like this went down. “hey xiao i’m gonna go to the store to get some pads do you need anything?” x: “no im alright. also what are pads for?” then you had to sit down with him and have the talk. clearly zhongli didn’t educate his son on sex ed

boyfriend xiao who probably made “it’s that time of the month again” jokes until once you cried bc of how messy emotions feel before it hits (idk abt anyone else but that’s how it is for me, i feel so agitated all the time before it hits 😭)

boyfriend xiao who would lay in your lap and keep his hand on your stomach or hold a hot water bottle to your stomach while you’d watch a movie or smth together. even though you’d say, “xiao.. it doesn’t smell that good down there.. you sure you want to lay there?” he’d probs just give a nod and keep watching the show

boyfriend xiao who would take all the behavioural signs that you’re letting off so he can tell where you are in your cycle and whatever, yk oval week bleeding week and whatever else there is idfk.

boyfriend xiao who would either be super close with you or super far away from you during your period, he’d prepare hot tea and hot water bottles for you, he’d buy chocolate for you and cook whatever you’re craving (not that he can cook but you’re too tired to get up and make anything better)

boyfriend xiao who would MAKE his own chocolate for you (idk i just see xiao i’m the kitchen OMFG ITS VISIBLES CHEF XIAO SERIES AGAIN OMFG EBERYTHING HAS BECOME FULL CIRCLE)

boyfriend xiao who would not understand how oval week works and think that someone drugged you to make to behave this way in front of him, then you had to have another sit down talk with him.

boyfriend xiao who would make sure the bathroom is always stocked with pads OR TAMPONS (I TOTALLY FORGOT ABT TAMPONS) omfg wait there’s other menstrual products too 💀 forgot abt them. just imagine xiao keeps the bathroom stocked up mkay

boyfriend xiao who would still want to have happy banging time but doesn’t want to hurt you so you decide to just rub one out for him (i giggled at this 💀)

[lunicho]

hii hope ur doing well today hh <3 i was watching some bnd videos and….. can we pls talk about jaehyun….. jaehyunnie….. puppy 😞 i can’t stop thinking abt overstimulating him till he can’t think straight pls he’d be the cutest sub :( n he’d be so messy too, i can see him sobbing n trembling whenever he’s in ur mouth and he tries so hard to be good but he cannot help but cum bc he feels so !!!!!!, moving his hips so desperately but he’d apologize so quickly too pls how could u not forgive him </3 it’s so early and i’m alr daydreaming abt him byeee

— 🫧

(send bnd asks to @angeltsan)

hii 🫶 im in a pretty good mood cuz i actually slept rlly good. hope u had or are having a wonderful day !!

sub jaehyun :(( he's the cutest,, cries so easily too. he gets desperate so fast so the moment he's close to cumming he's begging u to let him release and he's such a good boy so you let him ofc but what he doesn't expect is for u to keep going,, he wanted to cum so bad so maybe he should do it again? he's already so squirmy so you gotta be prepared for him to be even worse when he's overstimulated,, he just loses it a little and tears would stream down his face and his voice would be even raspier than usual,, i feel like he also loves to hold ur hand or some part or ur clothing or at least have his hand on ur thigh or smth,, whatever it is he's gonna grip onto u so hard when u do this to him. when u take him into ur mouth he just about passes out,, he'd be mindlessly babbling and he might even put his hand on ur head/in ur hair so if u told him not to touch u that's gonna be another thing he has to apologize for but he just doesn't know what to do with his hands!!! and he'd be mindlessly babbling so much he would be so out of control :( but that's the way he loves it,, he's definitely the type of sub that's not bratty on purpose,, he'd do everything out of pure desperation,, he didn't mean to cum so fast his body just got ahead of him,, he didn't mean to put his hands in your hair he just couldn't figure out another way to express what he was feeling,, he didn't mean to sob so hard but ur making him feel too good :(

[eneablack]

im what, two days early for ur weekly motivation? who gives a shit i’m doing this bc it makes me happy and i know it makes u happy (THE ENERGY OF UR POSTS LITERALLT IS SO POSITIVE IT MAKES ME WANNA DO A FLIP)

BUT I LOVE U SM!! YOURE SUCH A COOL UNIVERSE TRAVELLER AND I HOPE I CAN MEET U ONE DAY IN PERSON!!!

i wanna personally invite u to a rlly cool wr i have planned (that i haven’t shifted to yet but i will soon LMFAO) AND LIKE GO THERE WHENEVER BC IT IS RLLT COOL!! it’s called the star and i rlly need to make a blog on it but 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ when i decide to it happens lmfao BUR I LOCE UR BLOG I LOVE UR CONTENT I LOCE UR LITTLE STORIES AND I LOVE U

thank u for keeping me and so many other people motivated to shift, and showing that shifting isn’t always something insane — there are things that ground us and keep us feeling like normal, ig is how i would describe it

what i mean is when u tell us abt ur shifting life u make it seem soooo casual, like going on a walk, and that makes it so much more like — real i guess?? like it makes shifting feel like sunscreen (wow weird analogy)

i rlly hope we can stay in contact in so many realities bc it would b so so so so so sooooo fun and ur personality and energy is js AMAZING!! i truly wish and hope the best for you, and it is clear the universe has its eye on you. there are always so many positive energies and spirits surrounding you, and i can feel it rn.

you are protected more than you think, and you’re going down the right path. “don’t be surprised if everything js starts making sense” is what i just heard, and they won’t elaborate so thanks spirit 😭💀💀

ANYWAYS I LOVE U LEMME STOP RAMBLING AND SAVE SOME SHIT FOR NEXT WEEK‼️‼️

no but like receiving these levels of affection is doing something to me.. just know the feelings are reciprocated, even though i might seem too stiff.

you should definitely tell me more about that wr you’re talking about, no if or no buts, i already said that i love waiting rooms, and if i’m invited too.. hell yeah. so please let’s meet there, alright?

i’m so glad my blog is useful in giving you and other people motivation, and i’m happy it is giving the thought that it feels normal, because it is. i don’t know for how much longer i will post on this account, but i hope it will last long together with the people i know here (i don’t have anyone close but i love my mutuals), because not just for you but it gives motivation to myself as well, to remember that i can do anything. and so can you, of course.

i wasn’t prepared for you saying that the universe has its eye on me and that i’m more protected than i think. it’s truly reassuring because lately i’ve been struggling with paranoia (i won’t talk in deep here because its another topic) and i feel like i’m unconsciously attracting bad energies/entities because of my nonsense fears and anxieties. so thank you so much really, i mean it, i’m actually already feeling better.

anyway, i joke and stuff but i really do appreciate all the kind words you always say to me. i don’t have many friends (and the few i have are only online like you) so it means a lot to me to talk and know someone with this kind of positive energy.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

ok so i’ve just been feeling. real normal. the thing with angela is that i really really feel like a looooot of people refuse to see her as a complicated, nuanced, and EXTREMELY complex character in favor of disliking or hating her from reasons ranging from her treatment of the sephiriah in lobcorp to point blank misogyny. and like, im not saying you can’t dislike her. like and dislike whatever characters you want. but what’s really annoying is when people actively ignore core aspects of the story or the things that Led to angela becoming the way she was because it’s more convenient or just because they Don’t Like Her. every relationship she has including the one with herself and with carmen as two clearly different people by the end of ruina is messy and complicated turned up to the absolute fucking maximum. it’s easy to paint angela as the villain of the story at first, because that was…..the point. that’s what she was trying to do. in lobcorp she was keeping herself safe by playing that cruelty until it genuinely became an inescapable part of her that guarded the love that carmen (and then Angela by proxy) had for others. it kept her very clearly safe from the things she had to watch, the things she had to do and manage, and how she could never comfort a single person about the hell they were in, NOR could she confide in anyone else. playing off that, i think you could also definitely compare that idea of angela purposefully playing her cruelty up as a purposeful antithesis on her part to carmen’s whole theme of being perfect and their savior. by the lobcorp we play when we finish the 50 days, shes given up trying to be carmen, trying to be good, and is solely focused on herself— and that’s another thing too!!!! to a degree it wasn’t even focused on herself that heavily! a major part of her stealing the light was so that she could spite ayin and spit in the face of his plans, everything he had done for carmen’s “greater good”. angela playing (up) the bad guy is a purposeful thing!!! she’s doing it for a variety of reasons too: she’s trying to keep herself emotionally safe, she’s trying to double down to be as far away from carmen as possible, she’s trying to keep the sephiriah unattached to her and make them similarly cold to the way she is to minimize the pain they have to deal with. and it’s not like angela learned those ideas of “for the greater good” from nowhere. COUGHS.

sorry this is so long im just. so annoyed. i love you angie. im so sorry people don’t get you.

POINTS !!! POINTS AND CHEERS. GOD yeah that part of her character fucking KILLS ME so bad its fucking insane... i never leave my funy lil circle of mutuals so i am not exposed to The Bullshit(tm) but girlies... girlies weve had an ENTIRE GAME t go over this... every day i think abt that one post thats "Congratulations! You have fallen for the ruse this character has put up." bc like. [waves hands around]. MAN.

AND ESPECIALLY LIKE... that purposeful distance makes me think really hard about th pale librarian ending too; presenting herself in a way that breaks that bond before that bond inevitably breaks her-- constantly preparing for the worst because the worst is just what is always given to her. and how she allowed herself to forge a bond between herself and roland, one that ultimately ends up burning her yet again, and becoming a tie she has to snap with her own hands. how this completely reinforces her own self-defensive (and self-destructive) instincts, which ultimately lead to her doubling down on it in confronting the sephirah, ending up completely alone... thinks abt it real hard.

just!!!! grabs and SHAKES.... they werent kidding these hands really are in unloveable hands................... insufferable. iwould kill for them. if anyone is mean to angela ever im exploding them with my mind lasers.

[intertexts]

OKAY NHW THOUGHTS. SUFFER WITH ME !!!!

having a lot of thoughts and feelings as always about how virion sees himself as the one who has to be strong, who has to be the one to protect the other two . dakota may have had his powers for longer, but virion has more field experience. he's been trained how to fight his whole life. his family prepared him for this since the day he could stand on his own two feet. it's so deeply ingrained into him, he knows the ins and outs of cape politics, and while he may be an outsider in new haven he had plenty of experience in fauna and how much different can the two cities really be? I feel like he's faaaar less trustful of the heroes, can kind of see through their bullshit when it happens, but he doesn't make a move because now he has a team, now he has people he loves again, and he would do anything to keep them safe even if that means putting up with bureaucratic nonsense. he's got that vigilante blood in him!!! idk how long he was on his own but even if it was as short as a few months that's still PLENTY of time to pick up terrible habits in the name of keeping on his toes, keeping himself safe. gotta keep moving constantly. can't sleep for more than a few hours at a time, and the sleep he does get is VERY light. only ever wearing dark clothes and covering his face even out of costume. constantly keeping at least one concealed weapon on him. being SO hyperaware of any sound or sudden movement in the general vicinity. when hes with the other two he always places himself in the middle between them so he can easily grab both of them if he needs to. maybe walking a half step behind them to watch their backs. always situates himself with clear view of any doors/windows whenever theyre in an enclosed space. etc etc you see my vision!!!!!

im just thinking abt like... the first time william and dakota see him Without All That Tension. he probably looks like a totally different person! the whole time they've known him he's been this stoic quiet intimidating presence, he always stays awake longer than either of them so they've never seen him sleep. after one too many all-nighter volunteer patrols he passes on pizza for dinner and gets home before either of them. when they walk in later (leftover pizza for him ofc) and see him passed out fast asleep on the couch it almost takes them a second to recognize him . who is this.. soft faced *boy* curled up in a loose ball facing the door in their living room!! what if this is where williams crush really kicks in and becomes Real- he desperately wants to be able to make virion comfortable enough around him to make him look like that again. william is just frozen in the doorway staring at him, studying him, trying to commit the whole scene to memory, so dakota is the one who steps forward to put a blanket over him. virion wakes up IMMEDIATELY at this and the moment is kind of broken and he thanks them for the pizza and everything's back to normal but now they KNOW. do you SEE my vision here.

I hope ur malaise is a little better sorry this took me like an hour and a half to type i had 2 keep pausing bc I was getting emotional thinking about them auaghaguyghh

ohh having so many emotions about him.... yeah..... yeah..... the cape world is all he's ever known! of course he's more experienced, cynical, knows the procedures and conventions and lies better than they do. he's maybe the only one of them who's killed before. i think it fucks him UP to realize he loves william & dakota. how can he trust them? he does, he can't choose not to, but i think he's very scared for a very long time that they're going to betray him like his father betrayed his friends. "they sound like they really mean it" yeah well. so did his dad!! honestly i think it's a kind of let it happen situation. he thinks about it for a while and goes well. it's not like i have anything else. this, right now, is nice, so if i end up dead in my sleep about it? whatever. i like them. they're allowed. he's constantly waiting in the back of his mind for the cold gun to the back of his head while theyre hugging or a knife to his throat on the couch during a movie or for them to detour into a dark alley while they're walking somewhere. and it takes a very long time for him to lose this mindset. it would fuck the other two UP if they knew but he's very good at hiding it, both the fear & the decision to just let them do it, if they want to. virion sol willing vulnerability looks like anyone else's efficient dangerous capability and hypervigilance. (i think they Should find out that their best friend is always waiting for them to kill him. that would be a lot.)

anyway. distracted!! in my mind he was a rogue for at least, like, around a year. so much time for bad habits to sink in! the thing ive been thinking about is like, he never really had to be subtle? he's so good at disappearing into nowhere & being a sneaky ass creep on the job, he's alright at lying and social engineering if there was a situation where it was necessary, but he never like... had a civilian life! to him it was fine if he was mostly perceived as a thug or a contractor or just as suspicious as "deftly moving masked figure in black checking all the entrances to the coffee shop as he sits down or buying zip ties and gorilla tape and kerosene at lowes" implies. so like i think their manager or boss or handler has to go "hey dude you need to like. Not be walking exactly a step behind your friends checking your surroundings wherever u go. please stop moving like you're getting ready for a fight. it directs so much attention to u u are in high school ur supposed to be a kid ur setting off so many red flags!"& he doesn't really get it. and it's a thing.

ill over everything ur saying here btw!!!! actually fucked up over them seeing him without all those walls and facades & constant tension!! oh christ!! he's so intimidating even when he's not trying and knows so much and is so good at what they do-- he's. actually their age? he's really just some teenager like them? the crackling anxiety and hypervigilance aren't, just, like, part of him? all the tense lines and angles of him soften into just-- something normal and loose and comfortable?? that fic when???

[tinartss]

i forgot to ask but have you watched the link click finale yet and if so what are you thoughts?? cause um. it got us to top 3 trending (very shook moment). anyway love all your art <3

omg hi anon!!! tysm!! <33 man the finale was so good😭😭😭😭 100% deserving of that trending lu guang tag HAHA thank u for asking i’ll give u an excerpt of my live reaction right after the ep ended (source being my notes app). very much unfiltered and incoherent so prepare to hear me repeat myself like five times LMAO

‘i love protective hypocritical selfish lu guang LIKEEEE oo ITS SO GOOD. what if him constantly restating The Rules to cxs was partly borne out of him worrying abt cxs’s death node not particularly the death nodes of the ppl in the photo. like ‘cxs don’t do anything stupid you’ll change a death node’ = ‘cxs don’t do anything stupid i’m scared you’ll err too close to ur death node’. ARGHH god i love it there’s gonna be so much drama if cxs finds out that lgs been the biggest hypocrite of allllll time IM SO EXCITED god . desperate lg living thru another timeline terrified of cxs’s death willing to die for him sacrifice timelknes for him do anything to keep him alive all for the boy he loves…….LIEUEUUETO EIWUW i’m so ill. i need to know everything….how many timelines has this man lived thru…s2 is truly buildup for s3 and i’m so excited like pls give us more trio content🙏🙏 curious abt hatman ofc but preferably he stays a side character LOL’

anywho i can't believe the animatic i made at the beginning of the season aged (mostly) well…am thinking of making some new adjustments to the end of it for funsies….we will see what happens 🤞🤞 and i also rlly wanna do a kavetham shiguang au based off of the finale….*shakes fist* i need to see irrational alhaitham….unsure of how large the venn diagram intersection is between kavetham enjoyers and shiguang enjoyers who’ve finished the s2 finale but this one is for u 🫡🫡 (if i actually get time to draw it LOL)

sorry that was so long HAHA but feel free to share ur thoughts as well! love hearing abt everyone’s collective lc brainrot <33

[g0thsoojin]

🦇⛓️

today it hurts really really bad. my heart aches and my chest hurts. and i think of him and burst into tears. i love him so much i wanted him so bad. it all hurts sm bc at one point he talked and wanted me to be with him irl, to come to him. like he wanted that, it's not just my fantasy. but i didnt wanna be too impulsive, i didnt wanna make him promises i wasnt sure i could keep. bc so many ppl have hurt him and i didnt wanna give him hope and then tear it away. i did it out of consideration for him. i wanted to just give myself a chance to feel if i wanted to be with him or if i just wanted to run away from my life. but when i realized the truth in my heart; i love him, i want to be with him, i would face all my fears and issues and forcefully climb over any obstacles just to be with him. it was too late, and i couldnt tell him bc everytime i got closer to the realm of any of that romantic space, it felt like he pulled away and i didnt wanna push him too hard. but because i kept venting on my blog, about my feelings of loneliness and rejection (i mean i told him i was in love with him but he didnt say what he felt. he just said it wasnt a good time?) i made him feel like he didnt matter to me. despite me thinking of him every second of every day, and being prepared to start looking for a job to use my paychecks to buy a plane ticket and go to him tomorrow. i wanted to tell him that i really truly wanted to be with him, but i was scared he'd think i was insane or wasnt ready or rejected me or or or or. i really believed i was waiting for him to be able to talk, which he had pulled away from before. after last time i really thought he'd talk to me and see where we are before he'd fall for someone else. but. i guess that this just means he is my everything but i wasnt to him. and i know that's reality, no matter how much i dont want it to be.

i just dont know what to do now. i feel so lost and aimless without him. for the past year, i have been building up and preparing a future with him. i was really thinking that it would come true. i dont know. i understand that i was incredibly naive and childish. but that's what i've been doing every day for over a year and now it's all gone and i dont even understand why. he wont say that he doesnt like me "that way". the way rejections usually go. it all confuses me so bad. i want him i love him. but he chose someone else. and i dont want my future without him, it's all so dull and bleak and lonely. there are just so many ways we are compatible. like he could've been my dad bf, taking care of me and i would be able to devote myself completely to him (which is what my soul needs) and not worry about work for example (even if i'd be 100% willing to get a job, i have never really fantasized abt not having a job lol, thats not part of my fantasy). i could just love and be loved, be taken care of and take care of him. i dont want a big life with big social circles, which he doesnt either. i dont want children, he doesnt either. but yeah... the way i am, the way my brain is wired.. no amounts of therapy will fix me.. i need to be taken care of. im so passive i dont even live, and i need a partner to help steer me and help pushing me. having him as a dad bf would be perfect for me. because i also fully trust him in not doing it purely for dominating and owning me, he wouldnt ruin my life or force me to do things that would make me miserable. i trust him with me in a way where i would want and be able to let go and give him control, out of love. and i think i could give him the total devotion, the submission he needs to receive. but .. maybe thats just wishful thinking on my behalf bc i love him sm and want to be with him.

idk today it hurts sm. bc mentally i've been thinking im gonna get to focus on fixing up some things in my life, jump on a plane, get to be w him irl and work on fixing a real future for us where we can be together 4ever, and that my life would be me settling into us. but now i have to do my assignments that make me wanna die, i have to show up to school, i have to figure out how u apply to university and get an apartment and not be homeless, how i pay rent how to make my economy work how to get a job and how to do all of these fkn things that makes me just wanna lie down and die. i am not cut out for real life. i dont just say that bc im lazy or wanna be treated like a pillow princess, i just genuinely cannot cope or deal with things. my brain doesnt work properly. im not competent enough to hold down a job let alone actually get one. im not a person who can actually be a person. i need to be someone's pet gf. and i would contribute with everything i could and that was wanted from me. but i cannot be a functioning person. and i dont just mean "i dont want to" the way most ppl feel bc our society is fucked up lmao, i actually cannot even make myself do it. avpd makes u disabled in that way. i cannot actually do anything.

[narwhalandchill]

thinking back on skirks dialogue again and like. theres a tidbit on the narwhal that might end up inconsequential but caught my eye all the same so whatever here goes

bc skirk starts out noting that childe and the narwhal ran into each other/started throwing hands (unclear if shes surprised by them reuniting to begin with or just the fight breaking out part tho) much sooner than she wouldve expected right? and straight up referring to what to me logically has to be abt skirk herself letting those events occur as a "blunder" that she expects to be reprimanded for.

and like. obviously it could just as well also be that the blunder refers to the general messiness of what went down with the narwhal and fontaine at the time when skirks assignment was supposed to be just a simple training session with it. but idk i think its interesting she says this right after her comments on childe and the narwhal

bc as we all know the reason ajax was ever trained by skirk to begin with has everything to do with him awakening the narwhal and with 4.2 lore in all likelihood surtalogi himself taking note of this event and sending his own disciple to look after whoever managed such a feat after the narwhal had been inactive for who knows how long. and given surtalogi is, well, the guy keeping an all-devouring narwhal as a pet of all things despite how very. non ideal it is as one. he definitely has his reasons to be keeping it. just as he would have his reasons to send skirk to train a 14yo ajax freshly fallen into the abyss. and childes already told us that his training by skirk was said to be in preparation for some greater purpose in the future.

and this combined with how skirk describes the narwhal as uncooperative nuisance yet we Know it to possess a more complex sentience than just a simple beast to be used as a tool. just makes me wonder if theres any specific designs and potential motives in store from surtalogi regarding when/how/where childe and the narwhal are supposed to be allowed to encounter one another? and whether the narwhal explicitly calling for childe of its own accord is a part of that "uncooperative" nature if it very much led to them meeting much sooner than was supposed. like idk. its interesting. and if skirks blunder and ensuing penance is indeed about letting the narwhal successfully call for childe before surtalogis plans, why is keeping them apart such a big deal?

obviously could just be something straightforward along the lines of skirk/surtalogi wanting ajax at a specific power level before cultivating his connection with the narwhal to the next level as opposed to the current scenario where he did end up in an incredibly poor shape after the fight but. i also find it very curious to consider there possibly being something more to it too.

like the narwhals connection to childe is clearly deeply personal in nature? its literally his constellation and he physically carries traces of it on himself. but at the same time we really dont know how a being of its scale feels about being reduced to a "pet" dependent on another entity at all. and we really have no clue on the nature of surtalogis plans for the narwhal and ajax. if theres any conflict of interest there.... thatd be something. its interesting to speculate

but yeah none of this is anything concrete just yet im just Thinking. narwhal rent free in my head

[tea-and-secrets]

im part of a system nd were rly fucking struggling lately

works been awful and stressful and its fucking impossible for us to find a new job, our manager that we actually liked left the company, our mental health leave of absence only got half approved and then we got fucking locked out of our account so we cant get an extension, our bipolar meds got less effective so were having depressive and manic episodes again (on a smaller scale but still), nd one of our meds is causing major suicidal ideation on top of that and its just

it feels like a perfect fuckin storm 4 smth rly bad to happen. actually it IS that. thats exactly what it is its a perfect storm sooner or later, unless smth gives, SMTH BAD WILL HAPPEN and the situation just keeps degrading

its been harder and harder 2 convince ppl 2 get out of bed and not do smth drastic over every small setback and i try to do what i can and manage what i can but i cant do everything i just cant i dont have that kind of energy or capacity

and im afraid 2 talk to any of our friends bc i think if i tell the truth abt how things r rly going to anyone, other ppl in the system who want 2 pretend things r better than they are will get upset and that wont help things!

we had one thing going for us and that was the possibility of adopting a dog and yeah ik it probably sounds insane that in the middle of all this were thinking abt THAT. but weve wanted a dog for years now and we r actually super prepared for it and genuinely i think it would rly help stabilize us bc so many ppl here care infinitely more abt animals than abt themselves/us. its almost impossible to convince them to eat or sleep or keep a reasonable schedule or get up and face the day or clean for US. but if there was a dog factored into the mix?? totally different situation. "u have 2 get up bc the dog needs fed and watered and taken outside. u have 2 go out bc the dog needs walked. u have 2 go 2 bed now bc the dog needs schedule. u cant kill urself bc what would happen 2 dog if u did??" would actually work. and i think that would help. not 2 mention the comfort a furry friend can bring just emotionally in general

but. the dog we were gonna adopt. fell thru

and now im just sitting here like cool. how much longer can i hold the fucking sinking ship together and will it be long enough to make a difference in some way or are we just screwed. do i just give up. do i call it a damn day and go home and give up on being kind and nice and supportive and let everyone do whatever they fucking want

<3

[just-a-little-silly]

also wanted to take a moment to answer some questions from @eye-cri againn quite honestly reading these made me so happy^^

ughrgh kajal my girl🩵

(note: this is quite a long post so yk just fyi^^)

yes indeed the skirt was a nightmare to render but was it worth it? absolutely. and yeee the earrings are such an important part of her design (shes hardly ever seen w/ out them :>>) and yes, they do ring!! (trust zeus teases her for it when they’re initially meeting) the glove is actually tied to her story, she uses it to cover a symbol on her hand linked to her powers (ill go into detail about that in a bit). also kajal is of fae descent, (hence the pointed ears, i think i also meant to add a tail to her design but we’ll see abt that). as for how she got in to the academy, she just applied to the academy for fun (fae court stuff bored her- i have so much fae lore for this universe i.) and got accepted into the night class- she wanted to get away from home for a bit and thought some fancy boarding school/ academy in gedonelune would be interesting (i honestly forgot how getting into the academy works and haven’t gone back to check in a while so. i hope that works TT). she’s close friends with caesar, leslie and hiro. (i personally like that hiro and kajal both have special unique skills- ill touch on it later.)

ALSO YES. ZEUS. KAJAL. ZEJAL. IM. THEY- 💕🥺🩵✨❤️ zeus nationnnnn YES. hes just so🥺🩵🩵.

i truly cannot put into words how much they mean to me. zeus as a character is just so so wonderful and i. cannot. describe. how much i love him :>> anyways zejal (the ship name :PP) has been my precious lil thing for YEARS now im. (i’ll try to keep this brief so i dont go on forever)- zeus and kajal are very much rivals to lovers. they start out as classmates and spend most of their first year trying to one up one another. they do eventually start to begrudgingly respect one another and before he knows it, zeus is whipped for her. she too forms her own budding crush but isn’t really sure what to do about it because she doesn’t think zeus would ever feel the same way sooo she bottles it down and ignores it- subsequently (and perhaps inadvertently) ignoring him too. he doesn’t take that too well and it stays pretty tense between them for a bit until everything boils over and zeus ends up confessing followed almost immediately by kajal. thats just a ridiculously brief summary lmaoo- theres a lot to their story TT.

as for styling her uniform, i think she keeps it pretty simple just a regular night class uniform- she will however sometimes be spotted with a large floofy orange scarf (she borrows zeus’s- she likes how soft it is and he honestly loves to see her wear it)

the type of magic she specializes in are ancient curses and incantations. girl has LOADS of ancient grimoires she could spend hours translating and decoding the spells described in them. In fact she ends up using her knowledge of ancient magic to formulate her own unique spell (a concept i might have borrowed from twst in all honesty). she calls it, “evil eye” and its basically a magic circle w/ an evil eye design in the middle - it defends her from malicious intent however, considering that shes supposed to be rather powerful i took it a step further and made it so that using it, kajal can temporarily shut down people’s magic if they intend to do her any harm. she has the symbol marked on her right palm so she can activate it faster. (smthn smthn hiro and kajal bonding over having unique abilities- hiro would actually approach her bc she knows a lot about sealing magic away + she tries her best to help him research his own curse and whatnot) i also just love how both she and zeus work with magic circles i. ugh💕.

—> also the thought of her, caesar and leslie having get togethers where they gossip about random things while drinking chai she prepares hasn’t left my mind.