#and i kind of feel like i should use this time somewhat productively

[animazed]

do i go out and get food? or do i just stay here in pajamas? 🤔

[nolita-fairytale]

don’t want to walk alone | carmen ‘carmy' berzatto | chapter three: september

summary: the moment we've all be waiting for: you and carmy get married.

warnings: swearing, eventual smut, lots of tooth rotting fluff, marriage, no use of y/n, second person pov, she/her pronouns

wc: 7.1k

listen to: the official don't want to walk alone playlist. there is SO much music in this chapter, so per the playlist, it starts with 'it takes two' and ends with 'love story.'

a/n: ok so this chapter was a behemoth to write and i am in fact in love with it. it's taken me days, really weeks, to get what i wanted out of it and i still feel like i could've gone deeper. however, i'm also kind of just happy to have this out in the world and give these two the wedding they wanted me to give them. each moment was curated and thought out, down to the music selection so this chapter is really just a product of me stewing on this idea for quite a bit of time. this is a part of my make my heart surrender universe so check out the masterlist if you haven't read the series! next up? their long weekend at the langham where we really get carmy x reader and moments for just them. please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist.

part two | masterlist | part four

“It takes two to make a thing go riiiiight.”

You never pictured the night before your wedding like this, you think to yourself, as you listen to Fak sing, to the best of his ability in a somewhat-decent falsetto, along to the 90s hip hop classic. 

Hell, you’re not sure you really ever pictured your wedding, but as you sit, surrounded by the people you love, you can’t see it going any other way than this. You watch as Richie rallies up as many people as he can for shots of Mallort, recounting that infamous morning at Ceres – a story he’s told over and over again, yet still manages to tell as animated and boisterously as the first time you heard it. 

You groan as you watch Richie successfully convince Gary to take a shot with him, Gary’s face twisting into a look of disgust in response to the foul taste of the Chicago liquor, as Sugar reminds him that he should know better by now. 

Carmy gives your knee a squeeze while simultaneously brushing off Richie’s attempt at shoving a shot in his direction. You laugh, a warm feeling filling you to the brim (could be the beer, could be being surrounded by your people), while Sydney jumps right into her best Rob Base impression. 

It just so happens that your continuously put-off ‘let’s shoot for next month’ karaoke plans with a few staff members from The Bear coincided with plans to go out with friends before the wedding, which is how you’ve found yourself here. 

After a lovely dinner at The Bear, your parents went back to the hotel for the night, insisting that you two go and have your fun. And as much as you would’ve loved to have brought your mother-who-has-a-doctorate-in-music-theory to karaoke night, she much preferred a good night’s sleep. 

The crowded bar claps enthusiastically as Fak and Sydney wrap up their song, finishing their truly-made-up-only-for-comedy dance moves. You giggle, exchanging another glance with Carmy, as your friends take their bows, before shuffling off of the stage. 

You hear the loud boom of the emcee’s voice through the microphone as he says:

“And up next we got… Tina!”

“Let’s go, T!” you shout through hands crowded around your mouth, in an effort to increase your volume of sound. 

Carmy cheers, clapping his hands together as Richie enthusiastically chants Tina’s name while Tina makes her way to the stage. 

“This is gonna be good,” Sugar nudges you, from where you are, seated in between the Berzatto siblings. 

You nod your head in agreement before settling in a little closer to Carmy. 

“The queen, herself,” Sydney remarks, gesturing towards the stage as she and Fak both return to your table. Sydney pulls up a chair next to where you and Carmy sit while Fak joins Richie on the other side of it. “And the ONLY act that could follow our exceptional performance.” 

“Well, exactly,” you agree, playfully. 

You exchange a laugh with Syd, while Carmy playfully rolls his eyes at the two of you. 

The crowded bar room goes quiet as soon as Tina reaches the stage, smiling nervously as she grabs the mic. 

“This one goes out to our favorite Jeffrey. And his lady Jeff,” she begins, earning a round of cheers and hollers from the group you’re with. Tina blows a kiss you and Carmy’s way, before nodding at the emcee to begin. 

“I love you guys.”

You hear the beginning notes of the iconic Etta James tune, gasping in anticipation of her song:

“at last my love has come along my lonely days are over and life is like a song.”

You sigh in admiration, a hand over your heart as Tina continues to sing. Her voice is powerful, soulful – perfect for the song, really – as she continues into the second verse. 

“at last the skies above are blue my heart was wrapped up in clover the night I looked at you.”

This time, it’s Carmy who steals a glance your way, his mind taken back to that fateful night at a bar in Hell’s Kitchen, when he spilled his drink on you so many years ago. You’re entranced, enchanted, with Tina’s performance, and he thinks to himself, that maybe this is the best it’s ever going to get: being here with you, getting to love you, on the cusp of promising you ‘forever’ tomorrow. 

Never had he expected that you’d make it this far. You’d always been so much cooler than him – well-liked, talented, funny – in and out of the kitchen, that he had no idea how the hell he was supposed to talk to you without vomiting all over your shoes out of nerves. 

He can remember that night so vividly: standing there in the restroom of the bar he can barely remember the name of, while you stood across from him with the kind of glare on your face he swore could kill him. But you didn’t, and after many attempts to push you away, you asked him to be your friend, deeming it the day that started it all – a friendship that would teeter the line of friendship and something more, one that would bloom into the greatest love he’s ever known. As much as he hates to give Nate fucking Walker any kind of credit, he’ll the be first in line to say he’s glad the jagoff pushed him into you, setting it all in motion. 

You can see that Carmy’s become distracted, lost in thought as the song finishes, something behind your favorite pair of blue eyes as the entire bar ignites into a huge round of celebratory claps for Tina’s performance. 

You look up over at him, setting your beer bottle down on the table before leaning over to whisper in his ear.

“I can hear you thinkin’ over there, Berzatto,” you tease him quietly, pulling him from his trip down memory lane. “It’s only the night before the biggest day of your life. Relax.”

Carmy rolls his eyes playfully in response, but before he can properly respond to your jab, the emcee has begun introducing the next karaoke singers to the stage. 

“Alright. Looks like I’ve got uh… three singers here this time,” the emcee says, his voice cutting sharply through the crowd of remaining cheers. “Let’s welcome Sydney back to the stage with… Sugar and… the bride to be!” 

“What!?” you exclaim, your eyes wide with surprise as Sydney jumps to her feet.  

“But I didn’t-,” you begin to protest, as Sugar pulls you to your feet, tugging on your arm. 

“Oh there’s no way in hell we’re letting you sit this one out,” Sugar orders you, as Sydney rushes to your side, ushering you towards the stage. 

“Yeah this was your idea!” Sydney simultaneously reminds you. 

“Babe! Help!” you call out to Carmy, only to be met with a shrug and a look that says ‘don’t think I could if I tried.’ 

“Oh, he’s in on this,” Sydney adds, which does explain why he didn’t even attempt to help you when your friends began dragging you out of your chair. “So don’t even think about asking him for help.”

“Wh-? But I don’t even know what we’re singing!” you continue to protest, looking from Sugar to Sydney as they push you onto the stage with them. 

“Trust,” Sydney reassures you, her face serious, while Nat slides a sash over you (one you’ve refused to wear all night) that has the word, ‘BRIDE’ printed over it in huge gold lettering. You groan, sending a glare in Nat’s direction, even though you know it’s all in good fun. 

You hear Richie shout, while Fak and Marcus clap loudly, and Carmy laughs, shouting words of encouragement your way. 

You know there’s no use in putting up a fight, especially since this was your idea anyways, as you begrudgingly take one of the three wireless mics. Before you can ask once more, what the hell Syd and Nat signed the three of you up to sing, a distinct slide of piano keys comes in, lighting up the karaoke screen in front of you. 

You grin immediately, in recognition, and to your two best friend’s delight, as they smile too, raising the mics to your lips to sing:

“friday night and the lights are low looking out for a place to go where they play the right music getting in the swing you come to look for a king.”

You laugh as your friends point towards Carmy on the last line. The three of you continue to sing the next part with reckless abandon, and all is forgiven. 

You could care less about how the three of them conspired against you to get you up here. All that matters now is that you’re here, singing one of your favorite songs with your best friends, grooving and dancing to the ABBA classic, as you prepare to marry your best friend. 

“you can dance you can jive having the time of your life ooh, see that girl watch that scene digging the dancing queen.”

"what good is love without any strings?" dayglow, 'close to me'

“Baby.”

Carmy groans in response, as soon as he hears the low hum of your voice. 

“Good morning,” you say, a soft smile on your face as you watch him begin to blink his eyes open. 

Carmy turns his head towards you, and he can’t believe he gets to wake up to this – to you – every single day. 

“Hey,” he says back, a soft smile spreading across his lips. “Good Morning, sweetheart.” 

“Guess what?” you ask him with the kind of glee and anticipation as a kid on Christmas morning. 

“Hmm?” he hums, as you smooth a hand over his chest, your body pressed against his side as you look at your soon-to-be husband. 

“We’re getting married today,” you grin, a giddiness that bubbles inside of you. 

“‘S that so?” he mumbles, playfully. 

“Uh huh,” you nod with a chuckle, this time playing along. “Don’t tell me you forgot.”

Instead of replying with words, Carmy swiftly wraps an arm around you, before flipping you so that you’re the one on your back this time. You let out of a shriek and a laugh as he leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips before adding:

“How could I ever?”

You shrug casually, “Weeeelll…. you just have so much going on up there.” You reach up to where Carmy hovers above you, brushing a golden curl out of his eyes as you continue your little dance. 

“You know, between the restaurant and all that time spent being a genius,” you joke, bantering with Carmy. “Don’t know how you have the time to remember silly little things like wedding dates and what not.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Carmy laughs, shaking his head incredulously, before pressing another kiss, this one much deeper to your lips again. 

And this time, as he pulls away, he gives you one of those languid looks that pierces right through your soul replying much more seriously this time with:

“I could never forget you.”

The way he says it with such conviction takes your breath away, and you know that Carmy means it. The double meaning isn’t lost on him either. 

It’s one of the reasons he called you all those years ago to come teach Marcus; it’s why you ended up in Chicago:

Because as much as he tried, as damn good at compartmentalizing as he’d always been, he really could never forget you. Carmy shakes his head once more, a playful smile on his face as he leans down to kiss you again, wondering when the hell he got this fuckin’ sentimental. As he places his mouth over yours, you’re more than happy to switch gears into doing this dance for a little longer. 

 Carmy traces light shapes against your skin, his mouth pouring love into yours with every kiss, with every drag of his tongue. You gasp as he grinds his hips into yours, making it clear where he’d like this all to go. You pull away, only for a moment, giggling cheekily. 

“Babe, I-,” you begin to protest, as Carmy chuckles, continuing to kiss you with zero intention of stopping “We… we’re going to be late.” This time, you feel his hands snake underneath the t-shirt you’ve been sleeping in, sending chills down your spine. 

“And-, Carm-, I-, I have to do my hair for-, … and what about-, my parents, they’ll-,” you stammer through, your thoughts becoming all kinds of disorganized with the way Carmy’s lips move against your neck this time. 

“I’ll be quick,” he answers with an aplomb you didn’t know he had in him. 

“I don’t know if that’s the flex you think it is,” you tease him as his hands begin to cup your breasts, your body responding with an involuntary arch of your back. 

“How fast I can make you come? I think it might be?” he murmurs against your lips, cockily.  

“Carmy,” you moan, as he begins to pull your t-shirt up higher, making it incredibly difficult to think of your to-do list for much longer. 

“Oh fuck it,” you sigh, deciding that, perhaps there’s no harm in getting the honeymoon started a little early anyways. 

“That’s my girl,” Carmy whispers against you, grinning like a Cheshire cat as you surrender to him. 

And he’s right about this too. 

How fast he can make you cum deserves all kinds of bragging rights, awards – a Nobel Peace prize, even – and you’re not sure why you thought getting a head start on doing your hair would’ve been the better idea in the first place. You spend the morning in the arms of the man you plan to spend forever with as he writes love letters, promises to give you the world, declarations of adoration with the pleasure he brings you. And besides, you’re not running all that behind on time anyways – something you realize, as the two of you get out of the shower (a round two, really). 

It takes a little longer than expected – mostly due to the fact that you and Carmy can’t seem to keep your hands off of each other – but against all odds, the two of you pull up to the courthouse right on time. 

It’s a sight for sore eyes: you, running hand in hand with your husband-to-be in a white, halter-cut wedding dress while Carmy follows along, in a classic black suit – no tie around the neck – as the two of you hurry into the courthouse. 

Sure, you could’ve tried to get here early – saved a little time and stress – but where’s the fun in that?

The two of you approach your families, hand in hand, to the sounds of your heels clicking against the marble floors of City Hall. The actual ceremony at City Hall, you’d both decided, would be family only. 

Since you weren’t making a huge deal of it, you viewed this part as necessary paperwork, while the party itself could function as the ceremony and reception. But as soon as you see the look on your parents’ faces, you know this is more than just a few signed papers. You watch as their faces change, from impatient, waiting, eager, to in awe and emotional as you walk towards them. 

You hear Ava shout your name, immediately dropping her dad’s hand as she runs towards you. 

“Ava!!” you exclaim, bending down in your heels and white dress to scoop her up into a hug. You spin her around, just for a moment, before setting her back down on the floor. 

“You look like a princess,” she says, completely in awe, her eyes wide as she looks up at you. 

“You look like a princess, sweetie,” you reply, before giving her another hug. “And you know I can’t wait to hear your song, right?” 

“I picked the best one,” she grins, proudly. 

“I’m sure you did,” you reply confidently, with a playful wink. 

“Oh-ho! Pay up, Rick,” Sugar mutters smugly, to Richie, as Carmy busies himself with greeting both of your parents.

Richie groans, muttering something profane as he not-so-discreetly hands Nat a $20 bill, earning a quizzical look from both of your parents that travels from Carmy and then to you. 

“Sorry,” Richie apologizes, this time directing this one towards your parents as he holds up both hands, respectfully bowing his head. 

You send a playful glare Richie’s way, earning a sardonic laugh from Natalie, as you push right past him and over to your parents. 

“Oh sweetie,” your mom gasps, pulling you in for a tight squeeze. 

“Hi, Mom,” you grin, as you hug her. “Dad!”

“My God, honey, you look beautiful,” your dad says, as it’s his turn next. You hug your dad, exchanging a few words about the morning, asking how they slept, how the hotel is, as your mom and Carmy hug it out. 

This time, he turns his attention towards Carmy, so you release him, letting the two of them have their moment. 

Taking your chance, while your parents are otherwise distracted, you make your way over to where Sugar and Richie stand. 

“What? You guys were betting on whether or not we’d be late?” you ask Sugar, an eyebrow quirked in Richie’s direction. 

“Listen,” Sugar sighs, cupping your face in her hands, endearingly. “You and Carm are nothing if not consistent.” You exchange a laugh with your almost-sister-in-law because you know she’s right. “And for the record, I bet that you’d be-.”

“Just in time!” the judge says, as he approaches the six of you, slipping his judge robe over his shoulders, black leather fold pressed against his chest. “You guys ready to get started?”

Carmy looks over at you, as if he’s waiting for you to take the lead here, and you nod, before the both of you turn back to the judge. 

“Yes.” 

“Great,” he smiles, clapping his hands together once. “Then let’s get you two married!”

"sooner or later, you'll find yourself right where you were, on the corner went looking for her, she had somethin' to tell you, she can't quite remember, but wait for a second, it always comes back to her, you always come back to her." -- the japanese house, 'morning pages'

And after dotting all appropriate i’s and crossing all necessary t’s, with one signed marriage license later, you, Carmy, your parents, Richie and Ava, Sugar, and Judge Thompson find yourself on the green roof of City Hall. 

Carmy stands across you, his hands in yours, offering you a lifetime with one look from the most expressive blue orbs you’ve ever found yourself in. 

“If you’d like to say something, if you prepared any vows… now would be the time,” Judge Thompson says, offering you and Carmy both the space to do so. 

“Oh I think we-,” you begin, ready to decline the opportunity since you figured you’d save it for the reception. 

“Actually uh, yeah. Can we?” Carmen interjects, sending you a look of reassurance. 

“Of course,” Judge Thompson nods, giving you and Carmy the floor. 

“Carm, I didn’t prepare anything for-,” you begin, but he’s quick to put your mind and heart at ease and he interjects with:

“It’s okay. I did.”

“Oh.”

You hadn’t expected this, since you both agreed you’d save any kind of speeches that may or may not happen today during the reception. But as Carmy’s palms grow clammier, a nervous look in his eyes as he searches for the words he’s practiced over the last few days, it becomes clear that he’s been planning this. 

“As you know… I’m not always great with words,” he begins, almost apologetically, letting out a small laugh as he looks to Richie for reassurance. In turn, Richie gives Carmy a sympathetic nod, and you’re practically melting over the fact that he probably asked Richie for help with this. 

Let it rip.

 “I just uh-,” Carmy stammers, because he really, really wants to get this right. “Well, I’ll keep it brief.” He takes a breath, letting all of his nerves out on the exhale before beginning again. 

Let it rip, buddy.

“I have loved you for so long – I think maybe since the day you brought me soup after I uh… you know, spilled my drink on you,” he states, earning the sweetest laugh from you, your friends, and family that came to witness. 

“-- so I promise to love you for even longer, for forever. You changed my life.”

You exhale, trying your best not to cry right here and now, thankful for the mysterious powers of waterproof mascara. 

“Jeez, no pressure,” you joke, dryly, before taking another breath, this time approaching your words with much more seriousness.

“Carmen. I’m so happy… that I changed your life,” you begin, cheekily, earning a laugh from your witnesses once more. “Because you changed mine. And I promise to love you forever.” 

‘I love you,’ Carmy mouths to you, before nodding towards the judge to signal that you’re both done with your vows. 

“Alright then,” Judge Thompson smiles, looking from you and then to Carmen, before uttering the question that will change the course of your life forever. 

“I do,” Carmy replies, his voice even, sure, ready. 

Natalie steps up this time, handing Carmy your ring, and you watch, teary eyed and full hearted as he slides it onto your left ring finger. 

“And do you take Carmen Anthony Berzatto to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Judge Thompson repeats the question, this time for you to answer. 

“Yeah, why the hell not?” you reply, earning a groan from your mother and a playful chuckle from your father. 

“Yes. I do.” 

At Richie’s encouragement, it’s Ava this time who steps up, handing you Carmy’s ring, with the sweetest most excited smile on her face as she looks from you to Carmy. You thank her, before returning your attention to Carmy once more. His eyes search your face, and there’s something so soft, so genuine in them that you think you’re going to cry as you help him put on his new piece of jewelry as well. 

“Then by the power vested in me by the State of Illinois, I now pronounce you, husband and wife,” Judge Thompson concludes, contently.

“Should we-, do we kiss?” Carmy asks, looking from you to Judge Thompson. 

“I’m just a civil servant but you may, yes,” he answers lightheartedly. 

“Let’s go for it,” you shrug, taking a step towards Carmy. 

Instead of answering, he smiles, stepping towards you before planting one on you in front of your friends and family that were invited to this brief ceremony. 

While Sugar claps gleefully, Richie claps along muttering a ‘get a room,’ while you remind Carmy to keep it PG enough for your parents. You giggle, slowly pulling away from the kiss that begins the rest of your life with the man that you love. 

“We did it, baby. We’re married,” you chuckle, in disbelief. 

“Finally,” Carmy sighs, and you can see his smile from his lips to the crinkles in the corners of his eyes. 

It doesn’t take long for your mom to usher both you and Carmy over to a spot in the garden she thinks will be best for pictures, just as the photographer arrives. She wasn’t wrong when she insisted you hire one, that you’d want to remember this day for the rest of your life. The photographer, who is incredibly talented, gets the shots needed up here in the garden, then downstairs, and outside, before you’re all off to Sugar’s place for the reception. 

As you and Carmy sit in the car, having taken a separate one than your parents, you’re giddy with anticipation. 

It’s all so surreal. 

Never in his life did Carmy picture it ever getting this good, but as he looks over at you, your head resting on his shoulder, he presses a kiss to the top of your head, smiling to himself. 

“We did it, sweet girl. We’re married,” he says, repeating your words from earlier. 

“Yeah,” you grin, lifting your head off of his shoulder. 

“We are, Bear.”

"give your heart and soul to me, and life will always be la vie en rose."

“No, Sugar! That’s not supposed to go out yet. Everything’s goin’ out family style. Let’s just take out the apps for-,” Carmy exclaims, stressed over the execution of your wedding reception-slash-brunch, because he just can’t help himself. 

“Fuckin’ Christ, Bear!” she snaps at her brother. “Will you calm down and let us handle this?” 

“I just want everything to-,” Carmy begins, his face blushing a shade darker. 

“To go right. We know. And we know we’re just taking out apps, alright? Everyone else is outside, and everyone’s having a good time so just… relax,” she suggests, her tone serious because she’s just about to kick Carmy out of the kitchen. 

Carmy shifts nervously, hyper-fixating on the happenings of the kitchen, his eyes tracking the movements of one of his caterer, Derek’s, sous chefs. It’s almost as if he needs to give himself a distraction as he asks, blankly:

“Do you uh… you think Mom is actually gonna show?”

Sugar pauses, the question throwing her. 

“I… I don’t know. I called her yesterday. She never picked up. What do you think?” she replies, her voice quiet. 

With your encouragement, you and Carmy had sent his mother an invitation to the brunch, only it’s been Sugar who’s followed up with her. 

“We did what we needed to and if she doesn’t come, then she doesn’t come. I’m not pushin’ it,” Carmy had explained, justifying his actions, or rather, lack there of, to you. 

She’s doubtful, but Nat can’t help the tiny glimmer of hope she has in her heart that Donna might show, even if she knows it’s unrealistic. In fact, her mom had barely been interested in stopping by as of late, ever since she’d told the Berzatto matriarch that she was pregnant. She keeps telling herself that it doesn’t matter – that it’s probably better if Donna doesn’t show – but it doesn’t help ease the disappointment she feels about the situation as a whole. 

“Doubt it, honestly. Never even got an RSVP so,” Carmy shrugs, his eyes following one of the caterers as the woman plates a few Hors d'oeuvres on a large serving platter. 

Before Sugar can say anything else about their mom, Carmy’s impulse takes over as he opens his mouth to give feedback to one of Derek’s assistants. 

“Carmy!” she snaps, blocking his pathway with her body, before repeating one more time:

“Let. Us. Handle this.”

“I mean, are any of us actually surprised, Nat?” Sydney adds, as soon as she enters the kitchen from where she’s been outside in the backyard, in search of another plate to bring out. “He’s a control freak! We know this!”

“I-,” Carmy starts, knowing it’s no use protesting, as both Sugar and Syd begin guiding him out of the kitchen and into the living room. 

“C’mon, Carm. Why don’t you go see what your wife is up to?” Sydney suggests, emphasizing your new title, earning a snicker from Natalie. 

“Who’s wife? This wife?” you ask, as soon as your feet hit the bottom of the staircase. 

“Woah,” is all Carmy says. He can’t help but stare, gawking at you in your new dress. 

You’ve changed out of your near-floor length wedding dress into a sleeveless white blazer dress that’s much more friendly to hanging out with your friends and family outside, kept your hair the same, and put on one of those super stay red lipsticks that you’re eager to put through its paces. 

It’s as if time stops when he sees you, and Sugar and Syd both notice, using this time to retreat back to their duties. The only thing that can break his focus right now is the way that you let a carefree laugh fly from your lips, as soon as you see that Natalie’s using the future baby’s baby gate that Nat must’ve purchased early, to officially block Carmy from coming back to the kitchen. 

“What?” Carmy asks, only to be met with a gesture towards what Natalie is doing. 

He frowns, immediately seeing the baby gate his sister has put up. 

“You know, I’m not a baby,” he pouts at his sister. 

“Then stop acting like one!” she parries right back, before disappearing into the kitchen to help out your caterer. 

Quick to console your husband, you wrap your arms around your neck, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. 

“They’re only trying to make sure we have a good time, Bear,” you offer, sympathetically, only to be met with a heavy sigh because you know it feels near-impossible for him not to be in the kitchen. 

“You trust Derek right?” you ask this time, referring to the caterer that Carmy hand-picked for your wedding. 

“Yeah,” he nods. 

“Okay. Then let’s go out there. Make our grand entrance,” you suggest, a playful smile on your lips. 

“Yeah,” Carmy nods again, this time a little more sure about taking a step away from what’s happening inside the kitchen. You take his hand, leading him towards the back door that opens up to the backyard. 

You’re truly amazed at what everyone involved has been able to do this morning, while you and Carmy were off at the courthouse getting married. Long tables pushed together and covered with tablecloths function as the main attraction of the you-and-Carmy-wedding-reception-brunch, filled with ceramic plates, printed menus, apps on serving platters, taper candles and flowers in all kinds of little to big vases. 

The minute the two of you enter the backyard area that’s been transformed into a wedding venue, you’re met with cheers, ooo’s and aaaaah’s, claps, and congratulations by your friends and family. 

“Sugar really knocked this out of the park,” Carmy says, in awe as he takes in the scene. “Okay, fine. I’ll just have to trust, I guess.”

You nod, happy to hear the confidence in his voice as you agree, “That’s my guy!”

There’s a banner that hangs across a much smaller table, the one that holds the stunning wedding cake Marcus has made for you that reads, Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Berzatto.

“See? I told you I couldn’t wait to be Mrs. Berzatto,” you joke with Carmy, as the two of you walk hand in hand towards the table. 

“I think I like the sound of that more than I should,” Carmy smirks, a glimmer in his eyes that says ‘I can’t wait to get you alone.’

“Can’t wait for you to show me later,” you wink, referring to the long weekend you plan on spending with Carmy as a pre-honeymoon. “C’mon. We should probably go say hello.” 

“So… you two married now or what?” Marcus asks, as soon as the two of you approach the table. 

You hold up your left hand, showing off your new ring, earning grins and more cheers from your friends and family. 

“That’s what I’m talking about!” he celebrates, while Tina simultaneously and enthusiastically cries out: “Congratulations, babies!”

The plan is to divine and conquer. While you chat with Gary, Carmy lets himself become enveloped in Tina’s arms and praise, as the two of you make your way down the table saying hello to your guests: your parents, Marcus, Tina, Ebra, Fak, Gary, a few others from the restaurant, while. 

Carmy’s glad you decided to keep this wedding small: close friends and family only, because he’s not sure he could’ve done any more of this. It’s just close friends from the restaurant and your parents. You’d even decided earlier that this weekend would be chill enough that you’d celebrate with Maya and Liz a few months later when you and Carmy stop in New York before the official honeymoon, planning another celebration with your New York people for later. 

Besides, you don’t mind celebrating you and Carmy a few more times, after all. 

Finally, you’re both able to settle into the empty chairs seated right next to your parents in the middle of the table labeled ‘bride’ and ‘groom.’ It’s a Saturday well spent, being celebrated by some of your favorite people in the world on a day you made a promise to your favorite person in the world. It doesn’t take long for everyone in the kitchen to join you at the table: Sugar, Richie, Sydney, and Pete, and once the meal is served, family style, you’re pulling up chairs and insisting that Derek and his team join you as well. 

The menu is perfect, and you can see why Carmy’s been trying to get this guy to come work for him for so long. Next to Carmy’s, this carbonara might be your second favorite carbonara on the planet. After all the eating, drinking, and merry-making, it’s Richie who steps up to start the speeches, gently tapping a butter knife against a champagne glass as he stands at the table. 

“Can I get everyone’s attention?” he asks, his voice loud. Richie raises his champagne glass as he begins his speech with:

“Now as the best man and this Bobby Flay-motherfucker's cousin, I think I earn the right to kick this thing off, eh?” earning a laugh from everyone around the table. 

“To Carmy and his much, much better half,” he continues, earning a laugh from everyone around the table. Your mom squeezes your hand under the table, and out of the corner of your eye you can see Sydney nudging Carmy softly as Richie addresses you. 

“You once made me $150 richer.” You laugh, exchanging a look with your now-husband, as you fondly remember the day you returned to Chicago, only to learn that the entire restaurant staff of The Bear had been betting, not on if, but on when you’d return.

“You see, we all took bets – all of us – that you were comin’ back after that first week you spent here in Chicago, and you know why? I think it was obvious to any jagoff with a pair of eyes that what you and Cousin had was something special – something not to be missed, or overlooked, or skipped over. And thank God you two idiots woke up and figured it out yourselves. You did good, cousin. And I know your brother would’ve wanted to be here for this. I love you, man. I love you both.”

“To this very special day, and to the rest of your lives. Cheers.”

“Cheers!” everyone repeats, raising their glasses, clinking in celebration. 

The upside to having a small wedding party is having a small wedding party, and the downside is that everyone who feels the need to get in a word does so. While Ebraheim waxes on about love as a metaphor, Marcus keeps his toast short, leading to the cutting of your wedding cake:

Vanilla bean cake, with a clementine curd, a swiss meringue buttercream, decorated with delicate flowers, citrus, and dollops of curd to finish. 

Richie slips out with Pete momentarily, earning a few quizzical looks from both Carmy and Nat as she gets up from the table to make sure they’re not trading punches in the driveway. It’s not till Richie returns with Pete, carrying a rented little karaoke machine for Ava. Hand in hand, you watch as Natalie guides Ava up and out of her chair, and over to the head of the table, handing her the microphone. 

“You ready, sweetheart?” she asks, earning a confident nod from Ava. 

The beginning of the famous Taylor Swift begins to play, and you and Carmy exchange a knowing look as she begins to sing along. 

“we were both young when i first saw you i close my eyes and the flashback starts i'm standin' there on a balcony in summer air.”

As Natalie and Pete watch on, Pete hugs his wife close to her, tears in his eyes as he whispers: 

“This is going to be us very, very soon.” 

“Yeah,” Nat nods, holding back her own tears as she notices how proud Richie looks, and how happy Ava seems to be. 

It’s not that she wants Donna here. Realistically, she knows that it would be a nightmare, most likely descending into drama and chaos from the minute she walked in, but she can’t believe that her own mother didn’t come to her son’s wedding. She shouldn’t be surprised, but it hurts more than she imagined, doing this, watching Carmy get married, having this baby with Pete, all without her. 

Ava finishes her Taylor Swing song to a resounding and enthusiastic round of applause. Marcus cheers her on while you and Carmy share a soft, chaste kiss, welcoming Ava with open arms as she runs towards you. 

“That was so good, baby,” Richie exclaims, when it’s his turn to scoop Ava up into his arms as you get out of your seat. Allowing Richie to sit next to Carmy while the two gush over her performance, you get up, eager to help put the karaoke machine away. 

As she watches, Nat reminds herself that this is what family looks like – this is the family she wants for her baby – even if it means something, someones, are missing.

And it’s as if she can’t hold back her tears anymore, excusing herself as she jerks her body away from Pete’s grasp, hurrying back inside so as not to cause a scene. 

“What just-?” Pete begins. 

“I’ll go,” you assure him, having witnessed the whole interaction. “I-, it’s not you, Pete. I’ll go.”

It doesn’t take you long to find Nat, though she’s not where you expected her to be, having run all the way upstairs when you find her sitting on the floor of the baby’s nursery – one you helped paint and get ready over a month ago. 

“Hey, everything alright?” you ask, as you gently push the door open. 

“Yeah, no, I’m fine,” she sniffles, wiping tears out of her eyes as she realizes she’s no longer alone. 

“Nat, what… what’s going on?” you ask her, joining her on the floor. 

But it seems as if your question only makes it worse as her face crumbles once more, beginning to cry. 

“Oh no! I-, Nat, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it even worse.”

“No, no, you didn’t. It’s just these… stupid pregnancy hormones!” she exclaims, frustratedly, earning a small laugh from the both of you. 

She takes a beat, and then a breath, and then finally, she feels ready to tell you. 

“It’s Mom,” she admits, even though she really doesn’t want it to be. “I just can’t believe she didn’t show. It’s stupid, I know.” 

You nod in understanding, before scooting a little closer to her, “It’s not stupid! And I’m sorry. For the both of you, really. Carmy doesn’t want to talk about it but, I know he’s some combination of relieved and disappointed too.” 

Sugar sighs, “Yeah that uh, that sums it up pretty well. About anything involving Mom these days.” 

Nat takes another breath, and another beat, because she knows she’s safe to share this with you. 

“I just… I’ve just been thinking a lot… with the baby and everything. About family. About motherhood. I mean, your parents are so great and I-. I’m just sad for us, you know?”

“I’m sad for you too,” you empathize, rubbing soothing circles on her back, before leaning back on both of your hands instead. 

“God, I’m so sorry. It’s your wedding day and I’m causing all the drama,” Nat begins to apologize. 

“Oh, you have nothing to be sorry for!” you interrupt her, quick to dismiss any notion of that. “You lent us your house and put together all of this in your backyard on top of accompanying us to the courthouse! You have nothing to apologize for.”

Sugar nods slowly, processing what you’ve just said, realizing that you and Pete have been such big role models of unconditional love for her. 

“Wanna know what I think?” you ask, your voice a little more optimistic this time. 

“What’s up?” she asks back, stealing a glance your way. 

“I think… that now that I’m a Berzatto… and with your little Bear on the way,” you begin, painting her the picture. “We’ve got a whole new chance to write a new chapter for the Berzattos.” 

She looks your way once more, because these are the words she didn’t know she needed to hear. 

“And with that… we can make this… make our families anything we want them to be filled with love, and joy, and-, well, only a little drama because you know, you guys are… you. But… Sug. This can all start with us, you know?”

“You really think so?” she asks you, a hopeful look in her eyes. 

“Yeah,” you answer, confidently. 

She nods slowly once more, almost as if she’s letting herself believe them. 

“Thank you. For checking in on me. For… this,” she says softly, sniffling again. 

“That’s what sisters are for,” you repeat her words back to her, one’s that she’s said to you time and time again. 

“We should probably get back out there,” Sugar suggests, sitting up a little taller this time. 

“Yeeeaaaaahhhhh,” you sigh, disappointedly, this time making a joke as you continue with: “We don’t want to start any rumors about us running away together. 

Nat snorts with laughter, thanking you for always making her laugh, as you stand up, making your way to your feet. You hold out your hands, helping Nat up to hers this time, before the two of you head back downstairs. 

“Hey,” Carmy says, as soon as he sees the two of you. “Pete said you disappeared.”

“We were just talking about some stuff,” you reply, sharing a look with Sugar before releasing her hand. 

“I’ll leave the two of you to it,” she says, before slipping out through the back door. 

“Everything okay?” Carmy asks, his brow knitted together in concern. 

You nod, “Yeah, she’s alright. How’re you doing?”

“Today? I’m the luckiest man in the world,” he replies, a smile on his lips that makes you melt. 

“Damn right you are,” you reply, pressing your lips against his. 

It’s a private moment for just you two, where you can kiss him like you want to, and you have to admit that the lipstick holds up. Wrapping your arms around his neck as his hands go to your waist, you propose a grand idea to your husband:

“Now that cake has been cut… what do you say… we spend a little more time with our guests, say our goodbyes… then we get our honeymoon started early? Think uh… our room at the Langham should be ready by now.”

“Thought we already did that this morning,” Carmy smirks, kissing you again. 

You giggle, leaning your forehead against his, “You know what I mean, jerk.” 

Carmy scoffs, shaking his head incredulously as he feigns hurt, “Married for a few hours and you’re already insulting me.” Instead of adding anything else, he simply pulls you in closer by your hips murmuring against your lips:

“Alright then, Mrs. Berzatto. Then let’s go say goodbye to our guests.”

“it's a love story, baby, just say, "yes" – taylor swift, ‘love story’

[wntrs0ldier]

An Offer · part 04

pairing: mob!bucky x reader words: 4,2k warnings: typical mafia (dark themes, language, violence, etc.)

<previous part | next part> | series masterlist

series summary: When your father dies, the only thing you can do for your family and the empire he built, is to marry a powerful man.

chapter sneak peek: “Bucky…” You hesitated, taking a little more time to sort out what you should really say. “Helps me with some business.” You reached for the glass of wine standing in front of you and took a sip.

“Always helpful,” Rebecca sneered. You noticed that she has been passionately ignoring her brother, but until now you were convinced that this was just a mistaken impression. “And, of course, he wants the best for you, doesn't he?” She faked a smile.

The encounter with Bucky, which took place a few days ago, turned out to be a new source of worry, leaving you even more confused. Guided by common sense, you tried not to dwell on it, but every time you lost your guard and let your thoughts wander, you found yourself reliving that moment. And each time you asked yourself the same question, Why did an accidental contact lead to such a strong reaction? It wasn't that the two of you had started pawing each other; Bucky accidentally leaned against you. And then he looked at your lips to see if your body was thinking the same thing as his…

You drifted off again, and were made aware of it by the boiling kettle. The flashback of the touch immediately popped into your head like the words of a stupid song you couldn't stop humming. And although you lost your appetite for tea, you filled the cup with hot water.

Michael walked into the kitchen with a newspaper in his hands – the kind he used to bring your father every morning. With a heavy sigh, he put it down on the kitchen counter. When you peeked at him to figure out if that sigh meant he was in a bad mood, you met his gaze. Suddenly you felt uncomfortable.

“What..?” 

“Stark is becoming impatient,” Michael began. “Since your father's death, no one really controls the distribution of Stark Industries products. If this outage continues, Stark will quit doing business with us,” he said. Having taken off his glasses, he massaged his closed eyelids. Working with Tony Stark was bringing in a huge amount of money for your Family. As such, you understood Michael's nervousness – you couldn't afford to dissolve your partnership. “In view of this, we have less and less time.”

Biting your lower lip, you ran your eyes nervously over the surface of the countertop. “What about Brock?” You didn't want to consider the possibility that Brock might have turned out to be your last resort, but you knew you should be prepared for it. “Any word from Rumlows?”

Michael shook his head. “I was approached by someone else,” he added. Your first instinct was to feel uneasy, but in the end you decided to give it a chance. It dawned on you that you had to stop being picky, even though it had seemed perfectly reasonable to you up to that point. You had the right to demand to be treated right by any person you were to marry. “John Walker would like to speak to you. Without me or any third parties present.”

This was exactly what you had feared – John Walker joining in. And while he didn't seem as harmful as Brock, you didn't see him as the ideal candidate. But for all intents and purposes, you didn't see an ideal candidate in any man around. 

You swallowed hard. “Did he say anything else?”

“That he will reach you to discuss the details of the meeting.”

The conversation with Michael was still looming in your head, effectively hindering your preparations for dinner at the Barnes house. All you could do was turn up there and look good, and even that was difficult to achieve. 

A long, warm bath has improved the state of your skin somewhat – until now it was a little too dry and ashen as a result of the stresses of recent weeks. However, it regained some of its softness. You dried and brushed your hair, moisturised your face and did your makeup a little more carefully than usual, trying to cover up every little imperfection – these, too, have intensified since the burden of serious decisions fell on you. You generally tried not to complain about your appearance, but lately you haven't felt particularly comfortable in your own skin. Still, you saw the positive side in worrying about your looks – it took your mind off the rest of your problems.

The day was inexorably turning into evening, but the weather had not changed much – the temperature outside remained pleasantly warm, perfectly reflecting the deep spring. So you decided to put on a white dress with tiny flowers; it had short, buff sleeves and reached past your knees. The hard part came when you had to deal with the tie at the back; it went in a zigzag from mid-shoulders to lower back. 

You breathed a sigh of relief when you heard a quiet knock on the door – Suzie appeared just in time. 

“I was just about to-” You looked back over the shoulder and felt a sudden wave of heat when you spotted Bucky instead of your sister. Although he'd announced to you that he was coming – this time he'd done it by text, not by standing outside your window – you hadn't expected him this early. And as much as you tried to push the memories of your last contact into some dark, forgotten corner of your mind, these blossomed with vivid colours. “I thought it was my sister.”

“I wanted to wait in the car, but she sent me here,” Bucky said, scratching the back of his head. “Need help with the dress?”

Staring at him blankly, you nodded after a while. 

“May I..?” 

“Sure.”

Bucky came closer to you, so you turned again to let him work. 

“Try to straighten the string, okay?” you added quietly. You wanted it to be as perfect as possible. 

Bucky let out a heavy breath and you felt a cool blow on your half-naked back; this in turn made you shiver, much more gently than last time. His fingers slid under the string, and so involuntarily brushed your skin. You felt him hesitate for a moment, but then his fingers moved along the underside of the string, complying with your request and straightening it out. Soon he grabbed both ends and pulled them so that the front of the dress clung to your chest.

“Too tight?” he asked, presumably having heard your sharp sigh. You couldn't tell what it was the result of – the squeezing fabric or Bucky's closeness.

“It’s okay,” you croaked and you almost immediately scolded yourself for how weak and pathetic you sounded. 

Bucky tied the ends of the string in a double bow, probably as a precaution; in case it would come undone at the least appropriate moment. He did it in silence, and although this seemed perfectly natural for such an activity, you got the impression that an awkwardness had crept in between you, which you had managed to avoid at the very beginning of your relationship.

“Done,” Bucky said, and you turned around carefully. Just as carefully, you lifted your gaze to his face. He was surveying you, possibly even more intensely than usual. For a brief moment you wondered if he too was tormented by the same thoughts as you, and judging by the slightly pained look on his face, expressing some kind of longing, you could guess that he was indeed.

“Have you heard?” You spoke after a bit longer silence. 

“About what?” Bucky didn't even for a split second seem interested in the answer that might lie beneath your question. 

“John Walker asked me on a date,” you said calmly, moreover, you were almost tempted to smile – you didn't want to give the situation unnecessary tragedy.

A corner of his mouth lifted, but that gesture had not even a hint of enthusiasm in it. He didn't look surprised or angry. You figured the news had traveled fast, but even if Bucky hadn't been aware of John's offer until now, he predicted it – he told you about it at the very beginning.

“You look really nice,” Bucky’s voice sounded so soft that your face flushed. You wanted to check if he was telling the truth, but you were unable to take your eyes off his.

“Thank you.” You smiled slightly. “I’ll grab a few things and we can go,” you added. You had the irresistible feeling that if you didn't say it – didn’t say something – the mutual gazing at each other would get out of hand again.

“I’ll be in the car.”

You left the house with Suzie. Because of your hands being occupied with a cardboard box, she closed the door behind you, then you both headed to the gate. 

Bucky stood with his back up against his car. Your knowledge of vehicles ended with the identification of brands, but even if that skill was even more limited, you would have easily recognised this one – mainly because of the distinctive wild horse logo. A thought unknowingly popped into your head that the black, vintage Mustang suited its owner.

Pulling away from the car, Bucky pushed his sunglasses on top of his head. He opened the passenger door and put the seat down, allowing Suzie to get into the back. As your sister slipped inside and the front seat returned to its place, you also got in. Bucky walked around the front of the car and sat behind the wheel, his gaze immediately falling on the box you were holding. 

“I made a carrot cake,” you explained.

He raised his eyebrows with astonishment. 

“Barnes don’t eat cakes?” 

“We do,” Bucky differed. You glanced at the way his hand landed on the stick and put it in the right gear. He threw his arm over your headrest to look at the back window, and you felt butterflies in your stomach again. “It’s just… Baking is so…”

“Yeah..?” 

“I don’t know, wifely?”

You watched the profile of Bucky's face as he focused on the road. “Is there anything else wifely in me?” 

Bucky smirked under his nose. When the car stopped at the first traffic light, he leered at you. “In you? I'd have to check.” He shrugged. “But those nightgowns you wear…” He pressed his lips together, shaking his head slowly. “Fuck,” he said almost soundlessly, as if he didn't want Suzie to hear it.

You rolled your eyes and smacked his arm, and he snorted a quiet laugh.

For the rest of the way, you didn’t really talk. You were worried that Suzie might feel uncomfortable, or worse, pick up something she wasn't supposed to hear. She was nearly an adult, besides, she had grown up in the same environment as you, nevertheless, you preferred to spare her the awkwardness.

Not long after you had left the city behind, the car turned into a road along which big old trees were growing; their interlocking tops formed a kind of tunnel. At its exit was a large, green plot of land, and you couldn't really tell where it ended. The house on it – tall, with a surrounding porch and walls covered with ivy in places – was probably as old as the trees.

Absorbed in the views behind the window, you didn't even notice that the car had stopped. You only became aware of it when Bucky opened the door for you. You got out, still scanning the surroundings with your eyes, and Bucky freed your sister.

“This place…” You began, and only after a moment glanced at Bucky. He stood next to you and tilted his head slightly to the side. “It’s beautiful here.”

Bucky gave you a half-smile, and this time you could see an undeniable softness and happiness on his face. You were able to tell that he had positive feelings about his family home.

The front door – solid, heavy, with a colourful, floral stained glass window – swung almost wide open. And although you had never really met her, you recognised Winnifred Barnes in the woman who stepped out onto the porch. At first glance, you saw a striking resemblance between her and Bucky – he had her whole face; her big blue eyes, straight nose and strong jaw. 

“Y/N, Suzanne,” Mrs. Barnes beamed warmly at you and your sister. “I’m glad you could make it. Come inside.”

“Thank you for inviting us.” You handed Winnifred the package. “It’s just a cake,” you rushed to clarify, seeing the premature delight on the woman's face.

“That is so sweet of you, Y/N. Jamie,” she turned to Bucky. “Take our guests to the dining room, please.”

Having climbed the few steps leading up to the porch, Bucky joined you.

“Jamie?” you repeated, your mouth curved into a smile.

Bucky chuckled. “Yeah.” He scratched his neck.

You got to the dining room, and although the number of people there exceeded your expectations, you didn't feel overwhelmed by the company. You recognised Timothy first, since you had seen him relatively recently, then Steve Rogers, as he also figured quite vividly in your consciousness. As for the rest, you weren't as sure.

You guessed that one of the young women sitting at the table, who was an almost perfect, and certainly the most faithful copy of Winnifred, was Rebecca Barnes. There was an infant on her lap, banging a spoon on the table top and bursting into laughter after every sound. Rebecca, most likely used to this kind of noise, didn't pay much attention to it; she was busy talking to the person sitting right next to her. This time you assumed it was Josephine Barnes. In fact, you were even sure of it, mainly because of the similarity she shared with Winnifred, Bucky and Rebecca. She only had slightly softer facial features and a not-so-piercing gaze; you also noticed the visible tan.

You almost missed the last one – with her nose in a book she was the least conspicuous. Mary, you guessed. You recalled that she was not much younger than your own sister.

“You okay?” Bucky asked quietly, and it wasn't his voice that revived you, but his fingers hooked on your elbow. You felt electricity radiating from that spot.

Before you had time to reply, something crashed into your legs and embraced them tightly. You looked down, where you spotted a little girl with a grin that missed a few teeth. 

“Hi!” She exclaimed. 

“Hi.” You couldn’t help but smile, too. 

“Oh, Daisy,” Rebecca groaned, clearly embarrassed by the child's behaviour. You therefore concluded that Daisy was her daughter. “Stop that.”

“It’s all right,” you declared immediately. 

Still, Bucky crouched down and pulled the child away from your legs, and this little fuss threw you into the spotlight. Everyone at the table stopped whatever they were just doing and focused on you.

“Jamie brought home a girl?” Josephine asked with surprise and a kind of hope. “How long have you been together?” 

“Is that your girlfriend?” Mary joined the conversation. “Oh, she’s pretty.”

You pressed your lips together in a slight smile; you hoped to avoid becoming the main attraction, on the other hand, you could breathe a sigh of relief – your efforts to make your appearance tolerable had paid off.

“Alright, that's enough.” Bucky gave his sisters a threatening glare.

“They are not a couple,” Timothy, sitting at the head of the table, spoke, drawing everyone's attention. “As far as I know,” he added, raising his eyebrows. “Y/N,” he said to you, his friendly smile didn't match the mysterious expression on the rest of his face. “Sit next to Steve. I insist.” 

You led your eyes in that direction. Indeed, there were two empty chairs between Mary and Steve – probably for you and Suzie. “Of course.” You nodded politely and made your way to that seat, peeking at your sister to check on her. Steve rose and pulled back a chair for you, and once you had taken your seat, you glanced at Bucky confused; Timothy's request seemed more than a little odd to you.

Bucky clenched his jaw. Previous experience allowed you to recognise when he wasn’t pleased, and that was exactly what he looked like at the moment.

Winnifred also appeared in the dining room. As the lady of the house, she sat at the other end of the table. Soon after, the first dishes were served and the room filled with sounds of conversation. The men were talking about baseball, then boxing, and although Bucky was actively involved in the discussion, he seemed a little distracted. Whenever you glimpsed in his direction, you caught him staring at you – you could see that he was a bit disappointed, perhaps even resentful, and there was something dark in his eyes; as if the sea in his irises was hit by a storm. Especially when Steve included you in a conversation, smiled or laughed at something you said.

Winnifred asked about your gallery, the upcoming exhibition, and about Suzie's school. She praised your cake. In exchange you learned that Mary was studying for her biology exam even at dinner, Rebecca had expanded little George's diet – the baby previously sitting on her lap – with more fruit, and Josephine had returned to New York on a short break from her college. 

You were worried that you would feel uncomfortable here, especially as Timothy separated you from the only person you knew, but the atmosphere in the Barnes home was like a warm, safe hug. Even Suzie found common ground with Mary, so you didn't have to be concerned about her comfort.

“How did you two meet?” Josephine asked, and when you looked at her without understanding, she nodded discreetly at Bucky.

“Oh, but we-”

“Yeah, I know.” Josephine waved her hand dismissively. “But I'm interested in every detail. I can't remember the last time Jamie brought someone home.”

You plastered a slight smile on your face, knowing that it wasn't Bucky who invited you here, but his mum. “Actually, we met through your uncle,” you answered. You didn't want to spoil the mood with the subject of a funeral or an arranged marriage. “Bucky…” You hesitated, taking a little more time to sort out what you should really say. “Helps me with some business.” You reached for the glass of wine standing in front of you and took a sip.

“Always helpful,” Rebecca sneered. You noticed that she has been passionately ignoring her brother, but until now you were convinced that this was just a mistaken impression. “And, of course, he wants the best for you, doesn't he?” She faked a smile. 

“Rebecca, honey-” Winnifred interjected softly, and when she did, the table fell silent.

“No, mom.” She shook her head, as if that would prevent Mrs. Barnes from getting a word in edgewise. “It's not fair that some random girl can sit here with us and the father of my children can't.” Tears of anger shone in Rebecca's eyes. “Excuse me,” she said, then got up and left the room. 

You felt guilty. Not because you may have actually taken an undeserved seat at the table, but instead of shame or anxiety, you were intrigued by this unexpected burst. You took another sip of wine.

“What happened to mommy?” Daisy asked. 

“Nothing, baby,” Winnifred told her gently. “She’ll get better.”

With suspicion, Daisy turned her head at Bucky. “Is that true?”

He pressed his lips together in a pale smile. “Of course, Junebug. Cross my heart.” Bucky put his hand on his chest. “How about we watch ‘Finn and Jake’?” He suggested with theatrical excitement, which Daisy shared immediately – she nodded eagerly. “Yeah?” Bucky grinned again, more relaxed this time.

Daisy ran up to him, grabbed the hand he had held out and dragged him out of the dining room. Bucky glimpsed at you, giving you an apologetic look.

Josephine leaned out and laid her eyes on you. “I’m going for a smoke, wanna join?”

Josephine led you to a gazebo in the garden. As she said, she offered you a cigarette, and you both leaned against the railing. The evening gloom was dispelled by the lamps on the lawn and the lighting inside the gazebo; it was getting unpleasantly cold outside, but you preferred the low temperature outside to the tense atmosphere at the table. 

“I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I don't want you to think that my sister is some spoiled bitch,” Josephine began, and you looked at her rather blankly. You didn't want to show too much that she made you curious. “His name was Robbie. The father of her children, as she called him,” she said with distaste. “He was part of the Family. Jamie recruited him, so the whole thing still bothers him. And Robbie was a fucking asshole from the beginning. He spent late nights in bars, gambled all their money away, hung out with other girls. When Daisy was born, it only got worse. He complained that Becca was neglecting him. Didn't help with the baby, disappeared from the house more often and for much longer…” She continued. “Rebecca's only problem is that she has a soft heart. She never said a bad word about Robbie, but everyone knew what was going on. She thought another baby would change him, that it would fix their relationship, but…” Josephine shrugged. She took a puff, and for a brief moment said nothing, staring into nowhere. “So Jamie got rid of him.”

Your brows drew together involuntarily. “What do you mean..?”

“No one knows what really happened to Robbie. He vanished into thin air and never contacted Becca again.”

You felt like a child who had just heard a blood-curdling ghost story. Actually, you only felt that way partly – on the other hand, you were even more fascinated by Bucky. “Well…” You sighed, shaking the excess ash off the end of your cigarette. “He did what he thought was right,” you commented. This time, too, you preferred to be careful, thus not claiming out loud that Bucky had done the right thing. 

“Not according to Becca. She's better than she was at the beginning, but it's still a touchy subject for her.” 

You finished your cigarettes in silence, and that silence helped you to sink into your own thoughts; to see Bucky in a slightly different light.

“Are you sure there's nothing between you and Jamie?” Josephine spoke, a teasing smirk on her face. “I saw the way he looked at you the whole dinner. I know my brother, and if I were Steve I would keep my distance from you,” she giggled.

Your lips twitched in a slight smile. You noticed it too, and although you weren't the only people at the table, you secretly hoped you were the only ones aware of what was going on.

You could have talked to Josephine about it; told her that Bucky had no right to be jealous. You were strictly focused on marrying someone and Bucky excluded himself at his own request. You could have shared all this with Josephine, thereby taking some of the weight off your shoulders. But you didn't want to involve her.

“I’m sure,” you said. “It's strictly business between him and me.”

“Speak of the devil.”

Following Josephine's gaze, you peeked over your shoulder. Bucky was heading to the gazebo. Having caught your eyes, he smirked softly. You struggled to take your eyes off his face and lowered them to his hands – he was holding a piece of cloth that you couldn't identify in the darkness. Only when Bucky got under the roof of the gazebo did you notice that he had brought a sweatshirt. Moreover, he put it gently over your shoulders.

“Thanks,” you murmured, surprised at the gesture, and glanced at Josephine. From the expression on her face, you were convinced that she wanted to say, So there's nothing between you two, right?

“You sneak out to smoke?” Bucky addressed his sister, his forehead creased. “What are you? Sixteen?” 

“Oh, fuck off.” Josephine rolled her eyes.

Bucky reached out his hand, so she handed him the packet and the lighter. With a cigarette between his lips, he looked stunningly – more rough and intimidating. 

“I'll leave you two alone,” Josephine suggested, grinning. She pushed herself away from the railing, and you two watched her leave.

You slipped your arms into the sleeves of the sweatshirt and wrapped yourself in it, discreetly inhaling the familiar scent. You looked at Bucky, and he again gave you a gentle smile; it reached his eyes as well. However, it faded soon after.

“I’m sorry about before. Becca-”

“I had this conversation with Josephine,” you stopped him. “I know what happened and I get it. I don't blame her for reacting the way she did. Anyway, she was right. I’m some random girl who-”

“You are not,” he protested immediately. His mouth set in a hard line as he was staring at you. “I-... I like you, Y/N.” 

Taking a sharp breath, you looked away. You shook your head in disbelief, tried to ignore the fact that your heart was beating harder than you would have wished. “I like you too, Bucky, but I can’t fall for you. I don’t want to.”

Bucky took his eyes off you only to put out his cigarette. Then he moved a step closer to you and hesitantly reached for your hand. You closed your eyes, then fixed them on his fingers – he stroked the back of your hand with his thumb, and you didn't protest. 

“I know,” he rasped. “But I just need to protect you. So please, let me protect you. Okay? Because I feel like everything is getting out of my control. And I’m fucking tired of it.” 

You raised your gaze to his eyes. He glared into them pleadingly and with some kind of fear, as if your rejection would shatter him into a million pieces. You nodded slightly, unsure if you really did; if you really agreed to fall under his protection.

taglist: @goldensunflowe-r @nefri-black @vickie5446 @learisa @sjsmith56 @aya-fay @hhiggs @wishingwell-2 @buckysgirl01 @emily-roberts @prettylittlepluviophile @leakingston

[edenfenixblogs]

Reminder! But be aware that many Jews use the term Zionist/Zionism in a way that you do not understand it/are not familiar with! Many Jewish people who you would define as Zionists and/or people who have all the same politics as you may:

1. Call themselves Zionists because it is a term with deeply individual meanings for many Jews

2. Not call themselves Zionists, but bristle at hearing the term “Zionist” be used as a pejorative because the history of the word Zionist being used as an antisemitic dogwhistle in leftism, communist Russia, and Arab extremist organizations (and because I am Jewish and on the internet I will state explicitly that no, of course I do not think all Arabs are extremists. I do not think all Muslims are extremists. I do not tolerate Islamophobia in any way on my blog or in real life. If I see a single even somewhat questionable instance of maybe Islamophobia in any replies here, you will be blocked and reported. I am taking the time to educate about Zionism as a dogwhistle, because I have chosen to tolerate a certain amount of feedback as a Jewish person. I am neither Arab nor Muslim so it is not my place to extend an olive branch of understanding regarding Islamophobia to you nor do I have any interest in doing so. I wholeheartedly condemn anti-Arab and Islamophobic hatred. As we all should)

3. Actively call themselves anti-Zionists because they define the term Zionism in a way that includes occupation, genocide, and expulsion

4. Actively call themselves anti-Zionists but still believe that Jewish people as an ethnoreligous group are inherently indigenous to the lands around Jerusalem while ALSO considering Palestinians to be indigenous to that same land.

5. Actively call themselves anti-Zionists because they oppose the formation of any religious state whatsoever, but still believe that Jews deserve to reside where they are right now without forced expulsion.

For non-Jewish people using the term anti-Zionism, I urge you to really think about what Zionism actually means to you as a term. Like what do you think that word is? What kind of person do you think a Zionist is? What assumptions are you making in the use of that term and is it fair to expect every Jewish person to agree with that definition and why do you feel that way?

And before anyone comments on me or makes assumptions about my stance.

I do not call myself a Zionist!

I deeply oppose the current government of Israel. I had the opportunity to go on a birthright trip to Israel, and declined to go because I do not support the subjugation of Palestinians. I also chose not to go, because at the time there was a spate of bus bombings. I have family in Israel that I have never met and cannot meet because I refuse to go there out of both personal fear AND political unrest AND political/moral opposition.

I support sovereignty and equal rights and liberation and self determination for all Palestinians. I believe Palestinians are indigenous to the land.

I also believe Jewish people are indigenous to the land. Since Hadrian’s expulsion of the Jewish people from Israel/Judea in 135 and the resultant formation of Syria Palestina, there has been no place that Jews have existed that has considered them foundational parts of society or that has not expelled us. We have always been considered settlers. There is no other place in which we could even conceivably BE indigenous besides the levant. I believe that the “whiteness” of modern Jews of European descent is a product of millennia of expulsion, resettlement, and relocation. I know for a fact that PoC Jews have also REMAINED in the region since the expulsion in 135 and if they’re not indigenous to there, then who on earth is?

I believe that indigeneity does not expire. I believe that the fact that Jews sing daily prayers about their history in Israel/the levant is pretty strong evidence that Jews all over the world have never lost their connection to the region. I believe that two thousand years is a long time.

I believe that it could not matter less whether Jews or Palestinians were there “first.” What matters is the strong cultural ties BOTH cultures have to the levant. What matters is that civilians have a safe government that they can trust not to commit genocide against them. To expel them from the land of their ancestors. To banish them to settlements.

I believe colonialism is wrong. I believe imperialism is wrong. I believe there’s even more I need to learn even after living in this conflict and diaspora my entire life. I do not believe that the land that exists there right now needs to be called Israel. I only believe that there needs to be safeguards in place at a governmental level that explicitly protects the sovereignty, safety, and legitimacy of Palestinians and the Jews who live there. There must be guardrails to prevent genocide against both groups. There must be some formal institutional mechanism to ensure the safety of both parties.

I believe that none of these ideas are in conflict with one another.

Anyone telling you that the solution is straightforward is lying or has plans to harm a large number of people. You are not special. You did not invent the perfect idea that no one thought of that magically solves the issues of statelessness, fear of displacement, expulsion, or genocide. If your plan only involves helping one group without regard to the needs of the other, it is a bad plan. If you don’t believe that Jews should be expelled from Israel, is that Zionism? If you believe Jews should have self determination and representation within government that protects their interests, is that Zionism? Even if the same self determination and representation exists for Palestinians? If you are a hardcore anti-Zionist and believe that Jews do not belong in i/p at all, where do the Jews go?

Where are the Jews indigenous to that isn’t Israel? Where do they go. Europe doesn’t want us. The rest of SWANA doesn’t want us. We certainly are not indigenous to the Americas. It’s been awhile since there were expulsions from Asia (as far as I know), but they did happen there. And Asian countries have very rich indigenous histories of their own that we have no place in. The United States is increasingly violent to us and is certainly nobody’s idea of a Jewish homeland.

If your argument against Zionism is that Jews don’t belong there, where do we belong? If your argument against Zionism is that Jews don’t deserve to ever leave diaspora and should not have self determination or protection, why not us too? Again, I have no desire to go to Israel!!! I have actively rejected offers to visit Israel!!!

I don’t call this set of beliefs Zionism. I don’t believe there is a term for this set of beliefs. But someone else might disagree. And that’s the point. I’m not shaming anyone who does or does not call themselves a Zionist.

[dr-spectre]

I saw your most recent post and noticed you somewhat said (kind of idk I don’t know how else to phrase it) you were on team present! Do you have any specific reason or just joining for funsies

I've explained my reasoning for joining team present in the past but you know what? I'll explain it again for you.

When I think back to moments on when I'm truly happy, it's always when I'm in the present. When I'm just thinking about the here and now. Thinking about "what do I wanna do today?" When I think of the past, it often makes me feel sad because... those feelings are gone... the places I used to go all the time... are gone... and that... stings. It really REALLY STINGS!

When I think of the future, it makes me feel scared and worried. I think, "will I be successful? Will the choices that im doing now will send me down a bad path filled with regret? Will I find a girlfriend? Will I be able to start a family?" In the past where I got sucked up into the """productivity""" advice youtube pipeline, it made me feel fucking miserable and awful. That I wasn't some robot, that I wasn't disciplined, that I didn't "work hard" and that "if you don't work hard now you'll regret it in the future!! You could be great!"

But then I realised something... the future doesn't fucking exist yet. There is no predetermined path. This ain't no fucking RPG where you choose the good or bad ending.

Life is chaos. Life is pure mayhem. Even if you work hard, your life could still be god awful. So what if I wanna relax today? I aint gonna end up broke, dying on the street in the future. I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!! BEING IN THE PRESENT MEANS FREE WILL!!! ITS REAL!!! YOU CAN FEEL IT!! YOU CAN EXPERIENCE IT!!!

I now live life by one quote... one phrase...

I CAN DO WHAT I SO PLEASE! I HAVE CONTROL!

I dont pick teams based on which Idols are in them, I pick them based on my own beliefs as a human being. I hate getting into Idol wars because it's so fucking stupid. DO Y'ALL REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME WE GOT INTO AN IDOL WAR?!?

We got a whole fucking hero mode based on that idea. The idea that we should NOT do those sorts of things. That we should not fight. But come together instead. To celebrate what we have. To create more memories together. Because that will make us happy.

You paint the world and I will play my melodies...

I will not choose team past because Callie is in it.

I will not choose team future because Frye is in it.

I am choosing team present because that is what I truly believe in.

Plus. I'm a Splatoon 2 baby. Without that game, I would not be where am I today. I would not have the chance to voice my opinion to hundreds of people. To express myself and feel heard and seen for the first fucking time in my life.

I feel like I owe something back to that game and I will do so by picking team present, aka....

Off the Hook.

[seafoamreadings]

week of april 14th, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: you're on a post-eclipse wind-down. no matter what happened last week, although of course you must deal with it, i hope you are resting! the astrology is helpful with this - rest, nourish, it gives you strength.

taurus: mars sextiles jupiter and uranus in your sign, and meanwhile mercury in its retrograde conjoins your ruling planet venus. okay, mercury retrograde is not a crowd favorite. but overall this is auspicious for you; any change you need to make can be made. avoid grand actions, and actually avoid any action if possible, but make plans now to execute in a few weeks' time.

gemini: if you have been despondent or bummed out about mercury's retrograde, it does at least accomplish some nice little conjunctions. try to use the time well, even if it means spending a lot of time in your head. you don't have to go driving all around or sending a million emails to be productive.

cancerians: cardinal (especially aries) vibe rages on. but with that said it is a good time to beautify your public image. even if you don't go posting your headshots all over your linkedin or whatever, take a nice photo today, see how you feel. you can post it later or not. or now! or not. but at least see how it goes, or something similar if social media isn't pertinent to your social status.

leo: jupiter-uranus makes you a public persona. if you have wanted to develop an online presence, a political shift in the world, a legacy of any kind, sudden "viral" yet positive outbursts are likely for you around this week. you just have to give it the first little push.

virgo: although it is still a somewhat wild time it's actually a pretty sturdy period for virgoans, especially those with closer affinity to ceres than to mercury. if there is something you need to do or learn, it is a great time to lock in and get it done!

libra: venusian nodal activity means you're still not quite done with eclipse themes. hopefully that's not dreadful; hopefully it means great things are coming for you relationship-wise. there is also a jupiter-uranus conjunction in your 8th house, bringing positive changes to intimacy, magic, and/or shared resources.

scorpio: relationships are a very major focus at this time, with a lot of (mostly positive, try not to worry) changes but the end of the week also features a sun-pluto square in fixed signs. pluto is your ruling planet, but it is in aquarius at this moment. so these two bodies may well make a T-square to any natal scorpio points. it is uncomfortable but it brings about transformation, which in the end is kind of your whole deal.

sagittarius: the long-awaited jupiter-uranus conjunction happens in taurus this week. taurus is not a sign you are likely to feel much natural affinity or understanding with. but jupiter is your ruling planet - this is the biggest thing affecting you this week. try to live a little bit like a taurean, but one who embraces change and all the electricity alive in nature. be outside touching grass literally. the miracles then come easier.

capricorn: most modern astrology has you painted as something like a miser or suited up businessman but you're still the old god pan at heart. this week's jupiter-uranus conjunction brings that out of you - let it.

aquarius: even if you stay at home, the weirdness finds its way to you. so there's no need to alter your plans, although if you feel compelled to do so it won't hurt or keep opportunities away either. besides, weirdness has always suited you. this week's style of it is bold but benevolent. this is one of the last major uranian things of this uranus in taurus age, so enjoy it.

pisces: most of this week's events, large as they are, affect you only indirectly. have patience with others who are deeper in the trenches. not that compassion is any real difficulty for you. if you get the chance to volunteer to help someone it is good to take it.

[bengiyo]

Hi, what's your 30 favorite Asian BL characters from dramas or series you've watched? (unless you don't have that many) Thanks.

Nonnie, respectfully, that's just too many characters to write about. However, I have written about The Knowing and why I identify with those characters, and I've written about Framboise, one of my favorite characters of all time.

However, now is as good a time as any to join @lurkingshan and @waitmyturtles in reaffirming my love for Dynamite!

In her post, Turtles talked about how Dynamite and Fire are products of internalized and externalized homophobia. Shan went on in her post to talk about how their story works because of how Fire shifts as he becomes comfortable with himself and his relationship with Dynamite.

I think part of why I feel so protective with it comes to Dynamite and his friends is that I care so much for fem gay men and the kinds of visible queers that don't get loved, especially when they're assertive about themselves. It was always obvious to me why Dynamite, Prem, and Samsee were together. They're all lonely queers who don't expect others to love them or take care of them.

I've noticed over the last decade that fandom really struggles with friend groups like these. It was somewhat similar with the SCOY quartet on the front end, especially Toh. I often wonder if there is a component of visible queerness or gender play that doesn't reach sections of the audience. However, as a gay man who is loved and protected by queers like this, these are my best friends. You've heard my best friend on @the-conversation-pod when David guests, and he is one of those queers. He is a fighter. I am not.

Prem and Samsee clearly know Dynamite's story. The crux of why Samsee is upset with Dynamite at the end of episode 9 and going into episode 10 is because he felt like he should have been trusted with something important about Dynamite. Samsee is the kind of man who is like Whoopi Goldberg: He doesn't want people in his house. However, he opens his door for Dynamite when he loses his apartment, and keeps letting him live there even when he's pissed. Samsee believes in his friends and loves them. Dynamite is the de facto leader of their friend group because they love and trust him. Dynamite is more than just his persistent attraction to Fire.

Dynamite likes Fire because Fire protected him from what clearly reads as a bashing. Dynamite has been thinking about that for years, and toughened himself up because of white Fire inspired in him.

We also know that Dynamite lost his parents to homophobia. You don't get a queer like Dynamite if they're loved and supported by the people who were supposed to do it. You get this when he's loved and supported by the people who chose him. I keep my guest room ready because we sometimes have to take care of a friend in the local community.

When Fire gets serious about Jane and weird about Dynamite, he backs off, forcing Fire to come after him. He knows that Fire is also into him, but he isn't going to be jerked around. It's the sincerity of Dynamite's attraction that makes Metha force Fire to reckon with how he's suppressing who he is.

More than anything, it's that Fire admits this to himself when he can't put up the front anymore. Dynamite is so important to me because so many of us who were closeted are like Fire. We pretend like we don't like gay men chasing us, like Intouch chasing Korn in UWMA, and then we lose them! You will lose confident gays like Dynamite if you treat them like shit and keep calling them annoying. Their friends will call you DL trash and you will not be invited out.

I just love Dynamite so much. He is the kind of gay character I love the most in BL. He's a kinda fem gay man who is earnestly pursuing his hot, super fit love interest. He has the support of his visibly-queer friends. He knows what he wants out of his relationship. He supports his partner through a major difficulty while still being clear about what he wants as secondary to his partner's safety. He is passionate about his goals, and wants to succeed with his friends (I ugly cried about their dish narrative in episode 10).

We have a fully-realized queer character surrounded by complex, layered queer characters. His story and those of his friends are about queer love making people's lives better. He will always be a favorite, and I really hope the people in the audience who've struggled with him can find more ways to appreciate him.

[blackrabbittwst]

Hello! I'd like to request for Trey, Azul, and Jade with a self-indulgent reader please~ A reader who happily accepts gifts, eats whatever they want, and encourages others to treat themselves just as much! I'm one of these people, and I've never understood people who worry so much. Ex: Ask me if its okay to take something from me, even though I offered it to them. ??? 😂

P.s. I don't mind whatever format you use!

A/N: Hello! And of course! I’m somewhat similar to this as well so I think it’s so cute! I definitely encourage people to treat themselves (almost to much haha), and these three boys don’t give themselves enough self loving, so they need it!

Synopsis: A self indulgent S/O who happily accepts gifts, eats what they want, and encourages others to treat themselves.

Characters: Trey Clover, Azul Ashengrotto, Jade Leech

Pairings: Trey Clover, x Reader, Azul Ashengrotto x Reader, Jade Leech x Reader

Gender/Pronoun: Gender Neutral

Warning: N/A

Trey clover

He would love to see your bright smile as you accepted his baked goods! It gives him butterflies in his stomach as he sees you appreciate his hard work. Also, he definitely wants to see your expression when you take a bite. It's his biggest pride and joy to see your expression light up as you hum with approval for how delicious it is.

No matter what he made that day, you would accept it as if it was the best thing you'd received all day, which he always appreciated. He has never needed to use his UM on any food that he gives to you since you love everything he makes! However, whether you know it or not, he would be aware of the foods you dislike so that he can make sure to not use it as an ingredient.

He would be the type to not really give himself a break and he wouldn't understand why you insisted he buy himself a hat every so often or take a break when he had so much to do!

Don't forget that he did spend all his allowance when he was a child so that his little bro could go to a spell driver game. He’s so used to giving things to others but not receiving or treating things to himself.

He would appreciate the concern that you feel like he should treat himself more, but it would take a while for him to fully embrace the concept. It made him feel a little guilty when he could use his resources to make others happy. He's used to keeping the peace and always appeasing others. To be kind to himself is something that doesn't easily occur to him.

Once he is able to accept your gifts and be a little more self-indulgent, he’ll feel a larger sense of self-fulfillment and joy in life that he didn’t realize he needed. He’d be less stressed overall and realize he’s a little more productive while also being more motivated to do tasks he normally would not enjoy.

Azul Ashengrotto

While Azul tends to be a little greedy here and there, he never uses this money for his own material needs. He’s more likely to invest it in the lounge, a deal, a project, or for compensation for something shady lol.

While he likes good things here and there, most of the time he’d have his nose on the grindstone. The workaholic he is will be only focusing on the Monstro Lounge and the numbers for it rather than enjoying the fruits of his labors. So you’d need to convince him to actually use some of his money for himself once and a while. Everyone deserves to treat themselves!

While he loves spoiling you with gifts and buying you all the things you could wish for, you think it’s unfair that only you get to enjoy the results of his hard work. Of course, you’d accept his gifts with joy and happiness, but he deserves to share this happiness with himself too!

However one of the big reasons he loves buying you things is that he loves seeing the look on your face light up when he gives you something. Your eyes basically twinkle like the stars in the sky by how happy and grateful that he would think of you.

Even as you try to coax him to treat himself more, he actually feels guilty using his own money just for himself. He'd rather put it to good use like an investment or something for the lounge. Buying something so frivolous like a new board game, or a coin for his collection seems like a waste when he could use that money for something more productive.

You have to convince him that he doesn't have to spend his money all the time on himself, but he should reward himself for all his hard work with the money he earned. Life is too short to just save all your earnings and never enjoy the fruits of your labor.

He would try to convince you that his investing in the Lounge is treating himself, but you don’t take his loophole as an excuse.

It might be better to just treat him yourself if he gets too stubborn so he can get used to the sensation.

Jade Leech

Especially if you love plant life, happily accepting his gifts would just make his day week. The amount of effort and time he puts into his plants and foraging shows how passionate is is about his hobby, and sharing it with you only makes life so much better.

He loves that you’d appreciate his fascination with mushrooms and accepts his terrarium gifts. He spends hours making sure the terrarium is to your style and aesthetic with the specific flora he specifically foraged from the mountains.

The moment he sees his terrarium flourish in your room, you might notice a big bright smile on his face as he strolls over to it. He wants to make sure his work of art is health and happy just like you, after all.

He used to being mocked by Floyd and Azul for his fascination of mountains, so having some thoroughly enjoy his hobbies is a dream come true.

Out of the Trey and Azul, Jade is most likely to take your encouragement of treating himself. While he works at a brisk and efficient pace, he always seems to prioritize his likes and passion. Like when he has a day off, he always goes out of his way to forage for new things. It would make him super happy if you went along with him. Even if you aren’t fond of the outdoors, he’d be patient and slow down his pace. He’s just ecstatic he can enjoy two things he loves together!

Jade’s cooking skills are just like him, accurate and efficient (especially after seeing him in the culinary crucible). If you try his mushroom dishes and/or dishes he makes with the flora he foraged, it would put him over the moon. Floyd and Azul are tired of his shenanigans and mushrooms that he can’t serve them often at the Lounge, much to his chagrin.

If you don’t love eating mushrooms, it isn’t the end of the world. He might just sneak them in here and there as an experiment. He would make the dish in such a way that non-mushroom lovers would be able tolerate them. Maybe by cutting them up in small bits, or frying them to change their texture (which can be the biggest problem about mushrooms). However, it would mean so much to him if you, a mushroom hater, takes the effort to at least try his mushroom dishes. It really shows that you love him.

[pinkblahaj]

rick riordan's female characters pt 1: annabeth

this year i reread pjo and hoo for the first time since finishing the series five years ago, and i now understand the (somewhat?) common opinion that the way he wrote female characters was definitely flawed in some ways. although, i don't completely agree with all the criticisms, and i still love the majority of his characters. because i have so many thoughts on annabeth, i'll make this post just about her and discuss other characters later.

i'm certainly not one of those avid annabeth haters, but i do think there are valid reasons to not like her- I think there are valid reasons to not like any character. for me, there are moments where she is a bit too arrogant or mean. but i don't think she should have been written with an entirely different personality either- it makes sense why she is the way she is, and all the characters are flawed in their own ways, which is what makes them relatable. i just don't relate to annabeth like i do to the characters i like more.

i see how some ppl dislike the dynamic between percy and annabeth, but i feel like a lot of those issues are just a product of their time. the judo-flipping scene in mark of athena has been made to be way bigger of a deal than it is. it was not annabeth "abusing" percy- it's more akin to play wrestling. but... i do agree that moments like this would be clearly unacceptable if annabeth were a boy (which, i know, those "if the roles were reversed" type discussions sometimes are used to weaponize the suffering of men in order to diminsh women's issues, and i am not trying to do that here). it unfortunately does make sense when you think about the whole anti-femininity trend that used to be so common, and existed in rick's books as well (ex: aphrodite's children). annabeth is supposed to be tough and scary, not soft and weak. but we should also keep in mind that every relationship's boundaries our different- annabeth might joke about percy being dumb, but it's obvious that doesn't bother him and he likes the nickname "seaweed brain".

annabeth's treatment of rachel in botl seems to be a dividing topic, and i can see both sides. i honestly was quite bothered by it when i reread botl, and i find it strange that some ppl will hate on percy on this book while not criticizing annabeth. but honestly that's probably because i'm a sensitive person. some ppl find it funny, which is probably how it was supposed to come across. it was probably just as obvious to rachel as it was to us readers that annabeth was only being mean out of her fear of losing percy... and rachel did indeed like percy. but i do wish that we would've seen someone call her out or see her apologize, and while her abandonment issues are an explanation for her behavior, they are not an excuse. but again, it's safe to assume that rachel was not that affected by it, and being a teenager who is rude to someone bc they like the same guy as you is not the worst thing a person can do. (i do think it's interesting how this situation is brought up more frequently than leo bullying frank, which actually did hurt frank.)

contrary to what i've seen other ppl say, i actually really liked annabeth in heroes of olympus. i thought her povs were great, and i loved to see her interact with the new characters, especially piper. i also found her more likable (ik some think she was too perfect, but i loved seeing her as a competent leader). the scene with frank and the finger trap was so cute and because i love and relate to frank, i will forever appreciate her for that. however she was def underutilized- outsmarting arachne by attacking her pride made sense because of arachne's backstory, but that strategy became overused (the way she defeated nyx was kind of ridiculous). and of course, who doesn't love the percabeth scenes- sure they were obsessed with each other, but that makes sense. they just met the rest of the seven, ofc they're not going to care about their new friends to the extend that they do for each other (side note: i don't disagree that seven felt like "co-workers", but i don't see a problem with it either).

leah was a perfect choice for the tv show adaptation. i honestly could not care less that she's not blonde and white. yes, the acting could be a bit better, but they're young and i've seen worse acting from older actors. what i do have an issue with is how annabeth was written in the show. i feel like the writers read that she's the brains of the group and she's serious and forgot that she's also a twelve year old girl. annabeth is a great character because she is strong, smart and skilled, but still flawed, realistic and relatable. i wish the show delved into other parts of her character, such as her love for architecture, the scene with the spiders, and her relationship with luke- this last one especially is such an important part they missed out on, because it's a huge source of her vulnerability in the books. i'm completely fine with them cutting out her crush on him, but the fact that she looks up to him and sees him as family is so central to why she can't accept that he's betrayed her. her believing that there is still good left in luke is also key to how they defeat kronos with luke's help. show luke says that annabeth is like his little sister, but without us actually seeing this relationship, it's going to be hard to understand in later seasons why annabeth defends him.

overall, annabeth is a great character and deserving of her popularity, but i don't think that if you dislike her you hate complex female characters. while she's not my favorite, i see her as a testament to both rick's ability to write good female characters and some of his shortcomings in this area.

[linskywords]

OH MY GOD MS. LINSKY HAS DONE IT AGAIN!!! Absolutely loving Kiss Your Boyfriend so far. Can I ask how do you maintain such a high level of productivity with your writing? Your output is incredible! If you feel like sharing how much time you spend writing per day / how many words you average per day that would be really interesting, plus how you find the time / inspiration to write so much? Thanks.

This is so kind, thank you!! This answer got super long and somewhat off-topic, so I'm putting it below a cut.

I am incredibly lucky in my writing time, especially for someone with a small baby. A bunch of years ago I talked my office into letting me go half-time so that I'd have more time to write -- at the time I was thinking specifically of novels, which I have written several of (though not with a level of quality that I'm happy with). Since having a baby last year, I've pretty much only been interested in writing fanfiction; hence the output you've seen. You can pretty much track how much novel-writing I've been doing by looking at my ao3 stats page and seeing how high the wordcount is for a given year. if it's low, there's probably a novel draft or two to blame.

This is a digression, but one that I'm going to include because it's inextricably tied up for me with thoughts about my writing time: having a baby has made me feel much more conflicted about my schedule. We have her in full-time daycare -- partly because it's pretty hard to find anything else around here and it's not nearly as much of a discount to go part-time as you feel like it should be, but also because it's always been understood, between my husband and me, that my writing time is something to be protected at most (not all) costs. I cannot overstate how glad I am for this. That writing time has been absolutely sanity-preserving for me in the first year of motherhood. Baby sleep-and-wake times have pretty much eaten my evenings and weekends, but I still have Thursdays and Fridays and the occasional Wednesday where the only work I have to do is write. It's an unbelievable luxury, and one that's let me feel like I'm still a person and not just a mother. And it's one that I still feel guilty about, even while feeling grateful.

Part of the reason I feel guilty and not just grateful is that over the past year I've been wrestling with my relationship with original fiction. When you're working towards becoming a novelist, you can feel like, okay, it's lucky that I can support myself on half a week's salary, and also it's morally okay because I'm working on acquiring this other Real Job! A Novelist! That's a real thing that pays the bills! (Ha. If only it did, cry a million novelists as I type this.) Capitalism is a scam but it's also a real force that operates on our lives and our psyches. That half a week that I'm not working is half a week when my husband is doing something to further our family's survival and I am not. It's half a week when I could be spending full days taking care of my baby, as certain segments of society would tell you is the greatest thing a woman or person can do, regardless of whether or not they enjoy that type of work (I do not). It would feel more justifiable to me if I were using that time to become A Real Artist -- by which I of course mean one who gets paid. But that part of it really is a scam: fanfiction isn't less of an art just because I don't get paid for it. It's just an art that people can't make a living at, and I'm unbelievably lucky that I don't have to.

I don't know if I'll find myself motivated to return to novel-writing anytime soon. There are parts of me that want the challenge of creating something more structurally complex, that love inventing something entirely new, and those parts are worth listening to, unlike the parts of me that feel like an inadequate imposter because I'm not published. So: maybe. But the publishing industry is its own nightmare, and it's hard to want to dive into it when I currently have so much creative freedom and a place to share my work that doesn't rely on the professional gatekeepers. We also don't currently need the income I might make as a novelist -- which is good, because my understanding is that the idea of making even minimum wage as a novelist is laughable, and I'd do much better going full-time at my job and only writing during weekend baby naps.

So those are the current, very fortunate circumstances of my writing life. Hopefully they will make you feel better if you're someone who works full-time or has other full-time responsibilities or just otherwise can't spend the equivalent of two full working days each week writing, and you're looking at how much I've posted so far this year and thinking that you should have been able to write just as much. Maybe you can, if you're able to find that kind of time in your own life and want to spend it writing, but maybe you can't or maybe you just don't want to and I hope it helps to know I haven't been dashing these stories off during my lunch break or something.

As for speed, I am a relatively fast writer, I think, though not exceptionally so. I usually aim for about 1K an hour when working on a rough draft. If I know a lot about where I want a story to go, it can be faster than that, but I can't sustain that for too many hours in a row. There have been days in recent history when I knew what I wanted to happen and I wrote 9-10K in a day, and I always feel like my brain has been scoured out afterwards and then I'm not usually very productive for a couple days afterward. So probably a more sustainable pace for me is 5-6K of new words per writing day, and then sometimes I'll realize I've taken the wrong approach and have to scrap a bunch of words and go back, and other times it'll have been a while since I last looked at a story so I'll have to go to the beginning and catch myself up, which involves a lot of rewriting also. And then there are days that are supposed to be writing days but something won't click, or I'm sick because I have a daughter in daycare and that means all the germs. So my output is super variable.

I will say, though, that one of the most profound impacts fanfiction has had on my life is that I WANT to sit down and write now. When I first decided I was serious about writing I had a few months off between jobs and decided to use them to write a novel that had been living in my head for a few years at that point. Getting myself to sit down and work on it was like herding slugs. It was an agony of procrastination. At one point I think I watched the entirety of The West Wing between one writing session and the next. I wanted to write, or at least I wanted to want to write, and it made me miserable that I wasn't and yet I still didn't. Writing is really, really hard, and almost anything feels easier in the moment!

But fanfiction has never felt like that to me. It's challenging in plenty of ways, and it's still a lot of work to create a story, but for me it's also a joy. It makes me think of how I used to play dolls when I was a kid, coming up with stories for them to act out. And they didn't have to be the world's most complex stories, with multiple interlocking plots and no words wasted, the way I feel like a novel has to be (I'm probably slightly wrong about this, but only slightly). Writing fic has taken away the barrier I used to face when sitting down to write, where it felt like I needed to hurdle a small building to even start putting words on the page. And the amazing thing is that that ease of starting has transferred to original writing as well. My body and mind have a habit of sitting down at the computer and having fun with words, and I can tap into that even when what I'm writing isn't fic.

And I really do love it. There is nothing in the world as satisfying to me as writing. I'm a little bit of a control freak, and writing is something where I can make things happen exactly the way I think they should. Sitting down, playing out the characters' emotions, figuring out how to make it feel real and compelling, guiding them towards the story I want them to have...there is literally nothing I am better suited for or enjoy more.

As for inspiration...well, in addition to the above, I just really, really want these stories to exist. There is something absolutely irresistible to me in getting characters together, especially if being together means having something that they desperately need but can't admit that they want. The most alluring story premises to me are the ones where there's An Obstacle, a thing that seems like it will bar these two (or three, or four) being together in a real way -- a dam behind which tension can build up, more and more over the course of the story, until the obstacle finally gives way and we have all that lovely tension release. And then the poor deprived main character who didn't think he was even allowed to want what he wanted can finally have it. One of the reasons I DON'T enjoy writing original fiction as much is that genre conventions tend to demand that other things happen in addition to that delicious tension buildup and release. Why dilute it when you could just write the pure thing??

So that's the long answer about my writing circumstances and motivations. I hope you found it interesting, anon -- or at least that you continue enjoying the effects! I have such a voracious appetite to write these stories right now; as long as I keep having the time, I don't see that changing anytime soon.

[fallenwhumpee]

Back

• Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3 • Masterlist •

Warnings: Blood, hypothermia(? I dont think i got that far), self dehumanisation(again, very vague), mentioned possible death.

It didn't take Leader so long to realise that a cramped bus ride was like a first class ticket compared to... this. Being shipped out, by far, was the worst. And Leader had even travelled in a plane's cargo hold filled with luggage.

Their stomach cramped, their knuckles turning while just like their face as they gripped the handrail. The sea was unforgiving, swaying the ship enough to flood the deck before collapsing to the other way, sweeping off Leader's feet.

Their raincoat was barely holding to their body, the oversized cloth doing a somewhat decent job at keeping Leader dry. The same couldn't be told about the boots, though. Those were filled with water, but the weight was doing a fine job with limiting Leader's movements. But even the storm couldn't make Leader go in. The air smelt there, mixed with engine oil and fuel. Leader would suffocate.

Leader's wasn't made for sea travel. And they should have refused it, especially when their body was failing. But a plane would leave a bigger trail to clean after.

The only reason Leader's compliance was their team had been placed on a safe house and waiting— on an island that didn't exist according to the maps. The thought of seeing their team made the way more bearable. And excited, if they were honest with themselves. They missed the team.

Leader ignored that they weren't supposed to feel that way. They were acting like a defective product.

Well, Leader assured themselves, it wasn't their first malfunction. And definitely not the most harmful one. And what they didn't know couldn't hurt them.

The ship jolted as they ran to the ground, sending Leader to the opposite edge. Leader took a deep breath, relaxing their muscles sore from holding on for two hours. They went in with holding their breath, grabbing their bag and getting out.

Leader - and the crew, for restocking - got to a smaller boat and paddled until they arrived at the small beach. Leader got off and changed in the small warehouse, giving the coat and boots back. They were left with their own cloths, which was awful considering they had packed for a hot town. But they weren't going to complain or exploit the given kindness.

Leader began walking, following the natural path into the forest. The trees blocked most of the heavy rain, but the remaining was still enough to soak Leader from head to toe in a matter of minutes. The wind whistled between the leaves, sticking Leader's cloths to their skin and sending shivers down to their spine.

By the time they got to the hut deep in the woods, they were trembling. The door opened, a gun held to their face. Before Leader could register, they were pulled into a hug, making their bruised ribs ache. Leader melted into the embrace despite the pain, letting their head fall to Right Hand's shoulder.

"Now it's my turn!" Youngest pulled both of them in, tearing Leader from Right Hand.

Youngest hugged Leader's middle, and Leader drew circles on Youngest's back.

It was nice to be back. But also… it felt lonely to have only two of their teammates.

"I thought we wouldn't see you again for a long time, Leader," Right Hand broke the comfortable silence.

Leader smiled, letting go of Youngest. "That's definitely a pleasant surprise, even though I can't say the same for the way. What's going on here?"

"Someone is hunting us. Even the other teams we had crossed roads. We'll just gather here until we get the full list of casualties."

Leader nodded. They sniffled, dropping their bag. Youngest began digging through their food stock. Good thing Leader was quite... prepared.

"You look like a wet cat."

Leader glared Right Hand, scoffing. After a moment, they let out a defeated sigh. "Tell me we have hot water."

Right Hand pressed their lips into a thin line, shaking their head with a weary smile. "You can always use the kettle."

"Can't even provide some good accommodation," Leader muttered. They couldn't actually complain. Leader's cost was getting dangerously closer to their profit. They were supposed to be grateful for the roof.

"Well, at least we got a fireplace. You can warm up later. I cut the woods, but you're doing it next time. I'm better with a knife rather than axe."

"Looks like we got a deal," Leader smiled and looked around for bathroom.

"Upstairs."

Leader turned back, looking at the spot Right Hand pointed.

"You gotta be kidding with me," they muttered. The stairs looked like they could fall apart any moment.

"Everyone had forgotten about this place so... it was the safest. And it gave us something to do without going mad in this blackout. I fixed the water tank yesterday."

"Just in time, then. This rain will supply our next month alone."

Right Hand chuckled. "Your luck. I didn't see a drop fall ever since i came here."

Of course my luck, Leader didn't tell it loud.

They got their clothes and went upstairs, the stairs bending under their steps, and the floor cracking. They held onto the sink a moment when they reached up, the stairs taking a lot more energy than they thought. Their chest tightened for a moment, and they coughed, blood sputtering into the white surface as their vision blurred.

They needed a break. Their body was falling apart.

But they were also stinking, their hair damp. At least there was going to be a fire when they got down.

Leader got rid of the blood and showered with their clothes, cleaning those as they got rid of the rainwater clinging to their hair. The cold water chattered their teeth, burning their skin. By the time they were ready to go downstairs, they were hardly able to stand straight.

Right Hand wrapped a blanket around them, beginning to dry Leader's hair with a towel as they sat before the fireplace, trying to get warm as their bones ached.

Youngest came in with a tray on their hand filled with black cake dough, pushing it into the fire.

"Medic would love brownies," they whispered.

Leader looked down. "They're not dead," Leader returned.

Leader had to believe they weren't.

[feybeasts]

Bit of advice for y’all from someone who learned this all too late.

Learn to be kind when someone commits a minor faux pas. If someone is too forward or makes you uncomfortable or says something that comes off as rude, if they make a mistake or do something that is… wrong but a product of ignorance, not malice, don’t just… drop the hammer on them. People don’t learn that way, and while it’s not your job to educate strangers, sometimes just a gentle correction will well and truly end it then and there.

Online, it feels like we’re all too quick to jump to wanting to destroy people, drive them away from our sight if they wrong us, and while the block button exists for a reason and should be applied judiciously, vindictiveness sets in so often, people get dogpiled, absolutely crushed, and I truly feel we have so little understanding of what that can DO to a person who, genuinely, could have been having a bad day or said something out of ignorance.

I’m not calling for everyone to be all hold-hands-and-sing buddy-buddy, that bird don’t fly, and real, honest malice exists out there, but always being on the defensive, always feeling like if someone slights you, you need to CRUSH them, it… takes a toll.

I spent a lot of my years, even years of recovery, feeling this… deep, hot rage at the back of my mind, always ready to strike out at people who wronged me, to just stamp out a problem before anyone could hurt me again. And you know what that made me?

Angry. Bitter. Tired.

It’s only now, looking back, that I feel like some part of the person I am now is… scorched, almost. Hollowed out by flames and fury, reduced somewhat. I try to be a kinder person, I feel I just don’t get up in arms about little things anymore, but all those years of anger, they took a part of me away that I’ll never get back. An energy, a vigor, something I can’t quite place.

A lot of you are young- you still have time to let go, to find peace within yourselves and to ground yourself in what is real and what you can love. Please- for your own sakes- try to nurture that part of you. Don’t feed the flames if you can help it.

Keep yourself warm, folks. But don’t burn down the person you are.

[black-arcana]

LZZY HALE: New HALESTORM Music 'Will Be Worth The Wait'

During an appearance on the May 23 episode of SiriusXM's "Trunk Nation With Eddie Trunk", HALESTORM frontwoman Lzzy Hale spoke about the progress of the writing and recording sessions for the band's follow-up to 2022's "Back From The Dead" album. She said (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): It's a strange year because instead of us taking three months off to do a record, or 'hey, now we're only focusing on touring' or 'we're only focusing on other avenues,' we're kind of doing everything all at once. So we've had a couple just kind of three-week sessions in the studio, and we're finishing up new music, which has been so exciting. We've been recording with [producer] Dave Cobb, of all people, and he's just amazing and, I think, exactly what the doctor ordered for where we're at in our life. And so we're really excited about new music. But then we're touring all over the States this year because we spent so much time in Europe last year. So, yeah, we kick it off with I PREVAIL in July. And then in the fall, we're going out with EVANESCENCE to Canada, for all the people up there. It's how we live. This is life. We just keep the train rolling down the hill. So it's all very exciting. And I can't wait for you to hear the music, and I can't wait to see everybody this summer at all the festivals. And yeah, we just have a a great year coming up."

Asked how fan along she and the rest of HALESTORM are on the new music, Lzzy said: "This has been an amazing experience because Dave Cobb, he's like half wise old oak and then half A.D.D. five-year-old in the sandbox, which works very well with our little camp in HALESTORM, because we're all perpetually 15 years old anyway. And so it's been a beautiful process.

"We've been doing all the things," she explained. "So I've been writing during our off time, but then also we're writing and recording in the studio, but kind of all at once. So as it's being created, we're getting the final takes. So, half of the record is done, and then there are some things that we have one more session to kind of go in, after our next tour, to kind of just kind of finish everything up, put the icing on the cake, if you will, and make sure we have everything there and then it should be kind of sewn up. But it's been really beautiful because we've been recording, actually, out in Savannah, Georgia. Dave Cobb has a house [there]. And if you can imagine, it's just the four of us staying in one house. No distractions, 'cause it's Savannah, Georgia — they love their tea and they love their food and that's about it. And unsupervised, so there's no managers, there's no crew, no tour and nothing going on. So, in a lot of ways, this record feels like our beginning, when we were all just kind of living with each other in the same apartment and every day is something new, everything is ready to record, ready to go. So whatever you do, as long as you're chasing what gets you excited, it's going to get down on tape. So, it's just been a great experience. And I'm looking forward to the finished product and being able to tease everybody with dates as to when we're gonna unleash it."

Speaking about Cobb's somewhat unorthodox recording approach, Lzzy said: "There've been a couple of songs where we'll have forgotten to put on the click track as a guide, and then that ends up being the take because we were all playing with each other and there was a different energy. Or [Dave] really understands the line between when you're excited about something and it's happening, and then that post, after that line when you're trying too hard to rock, or you're trying too hard to be a singer, or you've memorized it too many times. There's a fine line with performance and getting magic on tape, whereas a lot of people are… I mean, we all do it, but you shoot for perfection. But somewhere, if you're shooting too hard for that perfection, the human element gets lost. And then the magic is lost, or it just sounds like you're reading it, or it sounds like you've played it a million times and you're tired, or you're thinking about something else. So, for a band like us, it's really worked. And it was actually nerve-racking in the beginning because we went in, and you always have your bank of songs you've written or riffs for days and, like, 'Okay, what do we start with? And Dave was very adamant about not having a plan, which was nerve-racking. I'm, like, 'Wait. No, we have to have a plan or it's just gonna be chaos. What's happening? I don't know how to work like this.' And then, after a couple of days, I'm, like, this is actually really nice because every day we just get in the sandbox and we play, and, 'Oh, I brought a LEGO set, you brought a rocket. Let's see what we can do with this.' And so it's been really beautiful to see these things develop and almost the music telling you what to do, not the other way around. I'm so used to going into a studio where it's, 'Okay, we have our 15 songs that we know we want on the record, and we're just gonna do a song a day and get them all done and recorded.' This is completely different because he doesn't want to lose — again — that intangible magic that comes with the excitement of when things are new and you're creating. You don't have time to think; you've just gotta get it done. And so it's been beautiful to kind of. see all of that come together."

Asked if she thinks HALESTORM will release some new music this year or fans will have to wait until 2025 to get something fresh from the band, Lzzy said: "You know what? I've learned this — I can make all the promises in the world. I would love to do that. I'm hoping that we will at least have something to show before the end of the year, but I know how this goes — I end up promising dates, and then something happens and some recall from mastering or something doesn't work out with numbers or with whatever it is. So I'm not making promises, but I will tell you it'll be worth the wait."

HALESTORM is working with Cobb after making three records with Nick Raskulinecz.

Cobb has shared in nine Grammy wins, including four for "Best Americana Album" and three for "Best Country Album". He's also been named "Producer Of The Year" by the Country Music Awards, the Americana Music Association (twice) and the Music Row Awards, and has been a Grammy nominee in the category.

Lzzy and her brother Arejay (drums) formed HALESTORM in 1998 while in middle school. Guitarist Joe Hottinger joined the group in 2003, followed by bassist Josh Smith in 2004.

In May 2023, HALESTORM teamed up with country singer Ashley McBryde for a reimagined version of the band's song "Terrible Things", which was originally featured on HALESTORM's latest album, the aforementioned "Back From The Dead".

[sk3tch404]

ℍ𝕚, 𝕀 𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕕𝕚𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕓𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖, 𝕤𝕠 𝕀'𝕞 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕒 𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕠𝕦𝕤, 𝕙𝕒𝕙𝕒. ℂ𝕒𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕕𝕠 𝕒 𝕄𝕠𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕖 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕩 𝕐𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕎𝕦 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘? ℂ𝕒𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕀'𝕞 𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕠 ℂ𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟. 𝔻𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕗 𝕚𝕥'𝕤 𝕒 𝕕𝕠𝕠𝕕𝕝𝕖 𝕠𝕣 𝕒 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟, 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕕𝕠 𝕚𝕥 𝕙𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 :𝔻 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕪𝕠𝕦!!!

Yandere Wu Chang with a Chinese reader who is from modern day

Reaction and a little bit of headcanons!

Also tysm for sending an ask in! If my reqs are ever open, feel free to just go for it ^^ Ik how scary it is to send one in. Especially if the creator has other asks they've been working on, and the paranoia of breaking rules. But you're fine!

Also please correct me if i had gotten anything wrong about Chinese culture. I had only retained some information from a historical accuracy review video and somewhat prior information. Please educate me if you can or like to!

"My, isn't that interesting?" Bi'an walks over and sits next to you, placing his umbrella to the side, "Tell me, how has society progressed through the years? You said your original time was 2023 right?"

You nod, slightly flustered from his sudden interest. Bi'an is suddenly dropped over with a black liquid, and then appears Wujiu, "It seems the rumors are true. Do tell us more Y/n."

Both are ECSTATIC

There were rumors floating around that you were from the future when you first entered. Considering that they're in a manor containing all sorts of supernatural occurrences and people, they weren't all that shocked by it.

Not to say they weren't incredibly curious though! Though Wujiu was more excited than Bi'an hehe.

They talk extensively about you and what the future may hold. What kind of inventions have been made? How have clothing trends changed? Is this person still popular or at least known? How would the people of your time feel about this certain social custom?

What was your daily life? Did anybody give you trouble? Why was this "internet" filled with such strange and quite frankly disturbing content? (Oncler simps /j) Is this why your posture was so bad? Douyin makeup and fashion? Wow they look like dolls! But they amount of product they use in order to attain such a look is quite much sometimes haha.

OH MY GOD THE CHINESE FANTASY/HISTORICAL DRAMAS? They're absolutely entranced by it. Bi'an mostly comments on how historically inaccurate they are, and how outrageous the characters are.

Bi'an: Ah no, this is incorrect as well. The main lady should not be in such fine condition after such a dilemma. I'm surprised she had not been given rags to wear and executed by the emperor instead... What an interesting tale.

Wujiu usually makes passing comments on how they're all attractive, and talks as if he was in the drama itself.

Wujiu: HOLY SHIT IF YOU DON'T JUST FIGHT THIS MISTRESS, WOMAN IM GOING TO DO IT FOR YOU.

Takes everything seriously there 😭 Bi'an has to switch in order to apologize to you and tell Fan he's scaring you.

Since you adorn such simple clothing, they question you about Chinese culture a lot. Had such articles of clothing been lost to time? What traditions are still practiced? Wait, the average are allowed people cut their hair? How shocking! Isn't that disrespectful to their parents? Er, which ruler is in charge of the north now?

Once you tell them all of the things that connect you to your chinese heritage, they will try and do EVERYTHING you used to do.

New Year's was it? Ah they have been on a westerners calendar for a while, so they have not been up to date. Well, this calls for special red envelopes and beautiful clothing does it not?

Adorns you only in the most beautiful traditional clothing. Hanfu's are flowy and can be quite modest, but Qipao's can be intricate and beautifully simple. Oh but you could also wear a Tangzhuang. Matching with them, what a dream come true! So cute you are... Agh, they just can't pick! Why do you have to be so beautiful?

They are also surprised by how modern traditional clothing has become. Clothing like that would've been years worth of salary for the average man! How lucky you are to be able to wear such things for a price.

Although they doll you up and celebrate with you, you aren't allowed to do anything more than to stay with them and obey the usual rules during all of it.

Damn, you don't even get anything of real material value in the red envelope. It's a love letter and a small gift. Usually jewelry or something of that minimal sort. (The gift is meaningless to you as you receive all kinds of unwanted things from them 24/7)

They are glad you are of the same ethnic background of them! You both may have not been from the same place or time, but you two both have a personal understanding of each other's identity.

Partaking in various conversations about culture, technology, celebrating traditions, partially speaking in similar language... All and more of these things have them head over heels for you.

You're just perfect! How could they ever have been so lucky to encounter someone like you in this afterlife? Although they wish not to have experienced such past hardships, they're glad all of that had amounted to this moment.

It thrills them to know that they understand you more than anyone else in this manor. No one else could spend time and appreciate you like this here. It's only them who can truly make you feel at home. A home with them. Your lovers.

Perhaps being in this wretched manor has brought something worthwhile after all. Even if they don't win, at least they have something they can bring back with them.

[dailycass-cain]

Birds of Prey #7-8 is a neat little two-issue arc that had a lot of cute Cass stuff sprinkled throughout. So here are my thoughts (at last for #7) on the two issues.

I gotta say one surprising improvement is well, everyone gets more moments sprinkled throughout the two issues.

Then say one per issue. That and we get the members who came back with this issue bonding/training Sin/Megaera. That's where Cass comes in...

I love that the introduction for Cass is side by side with Barda (since their growing bond has been a major fun selling point of the series).

This is the (outside of Batman: Wayne Family Adventures and Batgirls) that Cass does normal things like going laser questing.

It's obvious everyone is having fun here, but also trying to gauge Sin's skills both as a combatant and in her new powerset.

I do like that writer Kelly Thompson brings back Cass being a fighting teacher.

It's something Batgirls gave us (though not the first with Cass teaching Steph), but then the little Nightwing backup again gave us it with Cass training with Dick.

I always love this aspect of Cass helping her comrades get better and her being a teacher. Just makes that moment in Scott Snyder/James Tynion IV JL run all the sweeter. That folks SHOULD come to Cass for help in their fighting prowess.

If there's any nitpick, I kind of want for Thompson to bring up Sin being raised to be the next Shiva. Like, technically it's an aspect somewhat overlooked in the run so far surprisingly (save in Cass joining the cause).

But I get "the why" Thompson hasn't dug into it yet. This is a two-issue arc, and it's gotta introduce our newest members, Vixen and Babs. And it's just that a "nit-pick".

I just hope Thompson is given the chance to eventually dig into that aspect.

Though in a way, she already is as all three ladies were born to be weapons but chose a different path. The fact they're just having fun but also being mentors to Sin is neat.

But yeah the other section for Cass this issue leads us to the moment me and others have been using and gushing over the last month. Mari gives Cass choices on wearing lingerie (if you're very very quiet you can hear Stephanie Brown still crying not appearing here and instead in another book.).

This moment really feels like Thompson course-correcting an aged badly moment from Batgirl Vol. 1 #39 with Babs accidentally making Cass wear a one-piece and she feels bad.

I think the fault isn't on Horrocks more per se the "product of the time" and WHO was slowly coming into power at DC around then.

Plus the actual end message in Batgirl #41 works quite well. With Cass figuring things out thanks to Kon (and aliens).

The moment over in BoP is just a page but artist Javier Pina captures SOOO much in the exchanges between Mari and Cass.

Just between the glances, you can tell Mari fully understands more and is more open to figuring out the common ground link that'll work for Cass.

I mean just look at these reactions. They say so many things and are just perfect moments for Cass (which is why I will be using these like crazy).

And of course, the piece Mari picks for Cass is just absolutely stunning and yeah perfectly works for the character.

I would love a creator's commentary on this how they chose each look for each Bird.

So yeah #7 was a great continuation of the plot with #8 wrapping the arc up, but setting it up for the next big thing for our Birds.

#8 began with bringing back someone I thought we'd never see with Batgirls ending last June, Detective Brooks.

I mean he isn't fully name-dropped but those who read Batgirls are in "the know" and it's nice continuity by Thompson in Brooks continuing his partnership with Oracle.

Even though I didn't notice him really doing much after the intro.

So let's get to the crux of this issue with it pertains to Cass.

Cass somehow flying around throwing batarangs (I'm not even gonna wanna answer where she was storing those) and fighting in high heels (just again doing a better job of it than in Batgirl #45).

I know everyone's eyes were on Barda in the fight, but you know where mine were. So yeah it was an interesting detail of Cass doing that, along with being the only Bird keeping her mask on.

Again this is a nice little touch because it shows Cass maturing and actually keeping a dual identity. Something that was quite a problem for her in Batgirl Vol. 1 at times (and some can say Tynion's Tec Knights run too).

If there's any negative (but I digress again minor nitpick) is how quickly Babs is ensnared by the mysterious force trying to end her (but #7 did showcase how easily Mari was swayed).

Anyhoot this was a fun little two-part arc and I'm really curious where the comic goes from here. Each Bird got a good moment and really the only downside was my minor nitpicks.

Birds of Prey continues to be a REAL fun series and I really do enjoy Thompson's Cass. I'm really curious given what we'll get with the character in the upcoming issues given the premise seems to be in the mind of each Bird.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

(Genshin Impact) Yelan with a Yor-esque S/O

No one requested this, I just got this flash of inspiration thinking of who to write for next. It occurred to me that Yelan is a spy, and I've been watching Spy X Family. Thank you Spy X Family for introducing the best woman this year.

Post Edit A/N: I swear to god everytime I write a new one of these, production time gets longer. 5 BLOODY HOURS

Yelan was used to talking to all sorts of people to stay undercover.

Woo a Nobleman here, do business with a merchant there. All kinds of people Yelan worked with ranging from a pleasure to work with to glad to never see them again.

But it was during one mission that she encountered the strangest person she had ever met.

Little did she know that they'd be her partner in crime for the years to come.

And that their feelings for each other would begin to grow into something more.

===

Yelan was in the marketplace of Liyue Harbor, searching for a merchant named Jin. He was wanted for money laundering by reselling high value items for traders in order to scam foreign merchants.

He was small-time really, compared to some others that Yelan has brought to justice. There were much worse people, but his crimes could not go ignored and officials couldn't touch him.

Which is where Yelan comes in, it was her mission to get close to the target and bring him down. The only problem is that she didn't have a direct way to get to him, seeing how he never did his business in person, always by proxy.

While thinking of how to get to him, someone bumped directly into her.

= Very Long under the cut! =

(???) "Wagh?!"

Yelan was slighty pushed back while the person that bumped into her fell onto the ground, dropping rather expensive looking items.

(???) "O-Oh no! No, no, no!"

Yelan took a moment to examine the person. They were dressed somewhat formally and looked something like a secretary. Regardless, they didn't seem like a threat and that this was a genuine accident.

She dropped to one knee and began helping them, grabbing a collection of pearl necklaces and giving it to them.

(Yelan) "Sorry about that. Please, allow me to help."

(???) "T-Thank you! And if anything, I should be apologizing, I didn't see you. Oh, the boss is going to kill me!"

Yelan looked closely at what she was grabbing. They all were gaudy looking accessories.

(Yelan) "Nothing is broken, is it?"

(???) "One, two, three...Nothing's even scratched, thank the Archons! Thank you for the help, miss...?"

(Yelan) "Sabrina. Fontaine Adventurer."

(???) "My name is (Y/N). Say, if you're an adventurer, do you know the way to the marketplace?"

Yelan refused the urge to blink in confusion. If they had any iota of common sense, they could see that they were already in it. Clearly they were a fish out of water...Wait a moment-

(Yelan) "You're actually in it right now."

(Y/N) "Huh? ...Oh, you're right! And, do you know the way to Jin's Emporium? I'm supposed to be delivering these accessories there."

Perfect.

(Yelan) "I do. Here, follow me."

Yelan led the way down towards the port. As they walked together, Yelan put her silver tongue to work.

(Yelan) "If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing in Liyue?"

(Y/N) "I work for a merchant from Mondstadt, mister Emil! He was trying to find a trade partner in Liyue to sell our wares, and we found a buyer named Jin!"

(Yelan) Hm. So this is how Jin snares his targets. So, what happens to the people carrying the goods? "I see. Will you be staying long?"

(Y/N) "Not too long, no. Truth is, this is my last job for mister Emil. I'm retiring from the trading business to help my brother."

(Yelan) "Well, I hope that you and your brother get paid well from this job. Ah, there's your shop. Down by the pier, second to last by that boat."

(Y/N) "Ah, thank you so much miss Sabrina!"

They bowed, almost dropping the items again. Yelan caught one just in time, letting out a small chuckle and sending them on their way.

As soon as they got far enough, Yelan's smile quickly faded and blended into the crowd, making her way towards the stall.

Sure enough, Jin was nowhere to be seen. Instead, it was another man who looked remarkably unremarkable.

Yelan couldn't hear them, but she could infer what they were saying. The man was pointing at the trail that led out of Liyue and deeper into the mountains, (Y/N) nodding.

(Y/N) walked out the stall with a cart now, carrying all her goods and going out of Liyue.

Yelan kept her eye on them as she slowly trailed them out. The merchant didn't follow (Y/N). She had a feeling of where this was going.

After about twenty minutes of tailing (Y/N), she finally found out why they were sent so far away.

A group of Treasure Hoarders popped out of hiding, and rushed the cart with their weapons drawn.

Yelan's eyes glowed a dark blue as she drew her bow, leaping into action herself.

Yelan landed in front of the cart scaring the Treasure Hoarders, but surprisingly, not (Y/N).

(Yelan) "You don't wanna do that, boys."

(Treasure Hoarder) "Get the hell out of here, this doesn't concern you!-"

(Y/N) "Miss Sabrina, DODGE!"

Yelan didn't see anyone behind her, in fact, she knew no one was there. What did they mean by that?-

(Y/N)'s eyes suddenly narrowed as they kicked the cart with one leg, sending it hurtling towards her-

Oh Archons.

Yelan dove out the way as the cart flew with such violent speed, running over two of the hoarders.

The hoarder directly on their left raised their shovel to attack, Yelan shooting it out of their hand with her bow.

As they reached for their hand in pain, (Y/N) leapt over to them with a graceful frontflip, following up by a very swift and violent kick to the crotch.

Yelan swore she heard something crunch, and couldn't help but wince. For their sake, she hoped that their privates didn't just get reduced to a liquid.

Using her ropes to drag in a Treasure Hoarder by the feet, she yanked them by the collar and spoke calmly to them.

(Yelan) "Who hired you?"

(Treasure Hoarder) "I-I DON'T KNOW! IT WAS JUST SOME MERCHANT WHO GAVE US MORA!"

His eyes kept darting behind her, which obviously signaled someone was trying to ambush her.

Yelan was prepared to deal with them before she heard another man collapse to the floor.

(Y/N's Voice) "Taken care of, Miss Sabrina!"

Their peppy voice betrayed the absolute brutality and efficiency of their attacks, but Yelan focused back on the matter at hand.

(Yelan) "Where is this merchant?"

(Treasure Hoarder) "T-That way! Up the hill in the abandoned manor!"

Yelan knocked them out and let their head hit the ground, turning around to face (Y/N).

(Y/N) looked concerned, more for Yelan's well being than anything, even their own.

Though obviously, they didn't need Yelan's help to protect themselves.

(Yelan) "That was some fancy moves."

(Y/N) "O-Oh, that? That's just some basic self defense I taught myself!"

Although they were stuttering, it didn't seem like a lie. They were more embarrassed than anything.

Yelan's met a lot of interesting people in her line of work, and right now, (Y/N) was moving quickly up the list.

(Y/N) "By the way, were you following me?"

Yelan walked over to the cart to make sure the goods were intact. Miracoulsly they were, the cart on the other hand now had (Y/N)'s footprint firmly planted inside it.

That's not something an ordinary secretary could do.

(Yelan) "I actually saw you leaving town, and I intended to catch up and ask what you were up to before you were jumped by Treasure Hoarders. I thought you were delivering your goods to the merchant?"

(Y/N) "The man told me to deliver the goods up this hill, but clearly something isn't adding up..."

Yelan walked up to (Y/N).

(Yelan) "You should get back to Liyue. I'll make sure you get the money you need."

(Y/N) "But what about you?"

(Yelan) "Don't worry, adventurers are prepared for this thing all the time-"

(Y/N) "I-I'm coming too! I may just be a secretary, but I'll make sure nothing hurts you!"

Obviously, they were lying. No normal secretary could solo a group of bandits at a moment's notice as if they were nothing.

But, maybe for this mission's completion it wouldn't hurt to have them tag along. As far as they knew, she was just a kind adventurer.

(Yelan) "...Alright then, let's stay close."

A half hour passed as (Y/N) carried the goods towards the manor. Yelan stayed behind so it looked like they were alone. As far as she could see, there we no guards.

Makes sense, they didn't think a secretary could fight off a group of bandits.

The plan was to have (Y/N) walk in and lure them out so Yelan could ambush them, and hopefully they could take Jin down in one fell swoop.

Although she was far away, Yelan could tell (Y/N)'s demeanor instantly changed.

They left the cart outside and gave a thumbs up in a random direction before slipping away behind a wall faster than she could keep up with.

A few minutes passed by and nothing happened.

Yelan frowned. Did (Y/N) get caught in trouble?

Or worse...was she with them the entire time?

It wasn't completely out the question. They seemed completely unfazed by the Hoarders and were surprised by her appearance.

(Yelan) "Hm, maybe I should-"

WHAM!

Yelan saw Jin go flying out a window, the glass pieces shooting off everywhere.

Her eyes went wide as he ran away, tripping over himself as he kept looking back in terror.

Then suddenly the door was kicked open, revealing (Y/N) covered head to toe in blood.

(Y/N) shouted something that she couldn't understand as they chucked a barrel at him, hitting Jin over the head and knocking him out cold.

(Yelan) "Archons, good thing I told them I needed him alive."

She stepped down cautiously and looked at (Y/N), drenched in blood as they panted.

Though from what she could see, it wasn't theirs.

Looking slightly behind (Y/N), Yelan could see the bandits inside all on the floor.

(Yelan) "What...happened in there?"

(Y/N) "O-Oh, they tried attacking me but I made them hit each other."

(Yelan) "And the blood...?"

(Y/N) "Blood?"

Y/N looked down at themselves before stuttering even more.

(Y/N) "OH! UM...! I-I just got caught in the splash zone is all! Hahaha...ha...?"

Judging by how embarrassed they seem to be, they weren't lying out of malice.

Yelan had three guesses of what they were. Either they were an assassin, a Fatui agent, or an idiot.

Honestly, she didn't know what would be better, because it's looking to be all three.

(Y/N) "A-Anyways, what do we do now?"

(Yelan) "For now, we bring this man to justice for trying to scam you, and no doubt countless others."

Yelan and (Y/N) returned to Liyue Harbor, but not before she forced them to wash themselves.

Her entire goal is to keep low, having someone head to toe dripping in blood would do the opposite.

After turning them into the Millelith, Yelan accompanied S/O as they got their final job accomplished, alongside a bonus pay, and left the services of the Mondstadt merchant.

Deciding to go out for dinner, Yelan brought (Y/N) to Xiangling's restaurant for celebration.

After receiving their meals and thanking the chef, Yelan and (Y/N) proceeded to have a pleasant evening together.

(Yelan) "So, what will you do now? You don't have a place to stay, right?"

(Y/N) "Hm...No. With the money I've earned, I don't think I'll be able to return to my brother just yet..."

They looked conflicted on what to do.

(Y/N) "...Truth be told, I'm not sure what I could do. That job was the only thing I could reliably earn money with but, I'm not even that good at being a secretary."

(Yelan) "..."

(Y/N) "The only belongings I have are just the clothes on my back and hairpins."

Yelan looked curiously at their hair. There was no such hairpins they mentioned...Does that mean?-

(Y/N) "But nevertheless, I appreciate your kindness. I will never forget what you have done for me, miss Sabrina! I promise to make it up to you!"

(Y/N) prepared to give her some Mora before Yelan held up a hand.

(Yelan) "You know, you seemed to handle yourself well back there, despite being just a secretary. If you want, I could get some line of work for you."

(Y/N) "Like...an adventurer?"

(Yelan) "Yeah, something like that."

Yelan planned to tell them the truth, but obviously not in public. Whatever (Y/N) was, she wasn't going to let their skills go to waste at a mediocre delivery position.

(Yelan) "And you can stay at my place, at least for a little bit. What do you say?"

And that, Yelan wasn't planning on telling her. It was actually one of many safehouses, but it was very secure and more importantly, closely watched.

If (Y/N) was someone who was a danger to Liyue, Yelan would be the first to know from her contact's close watching.

(Y/N) "T-Truly?!"

(Yelan) "Truly."

(Y/N) "I-I..."

They began sniffling, rubbing their eyes as their voice grew shaky.

(Y/N) "No one but my brother has shown me such kindness before...! T-THANK YOU MISS SABRINA!"

Yelan was immediately pulled into a hug which immediately put her on edge.

She hadn't felt physical affection and years and-...Wow, this was a really tight hug.

Yelan opened her mouth to speak before realizing no sound was coming out.

In fact, there wasn't any air coming out either.

(Yelan) "A....ACK!"

Yelan felt her spine tighten in (Y/N)'s death grip. Were they trying to kill her?!

(Y/N) "THANK YOU! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!"

...Well, at least they weren't trying to kill her on purpose.

Finally, Yelan managed to get the words out.

(Yelan) "AIR!"

(Y/N) "...OH MY GOODNESS!"

(Y/N) dropped her on the spot, Yelan trying to catch her breath.

(Yelan) "O-Ow...! D-Don't think I've come that close to death in a while..."

(Y/N) "I am so sorry! I-I never knew how to control my hugs. One time I accidentally broke my brother rib's when giving him a hug..."

(Yelan) Okay, what is wrong with them?!

(Xiangling's voice) "Oh, Yelan! Is this your date?"

(Y/N) spun around with a loud "EH?!", stuttering profusely.

Before they could say anything, Yelan spoke up.

(Yelan) "Y-Yes. They are. I was just wanting to take them out to celebrate getting a new job! Our compliments to the chef, by the way."

(Xiangling) "Congratulations, and thank you! I hope to see you two soon!"

When Xiangling left, Yelan was quick to explain herself.

(Yelan) "Sorry about that, I just want to make sure no one's picking on you since you're new to Liyue."

(Y/N) "Ah, I-I see. So we're going to be in a pretend relationship?"

(Yelan) "That's right."

This seemed to have calmed down (Y/N) quite a bit. She would have came up with a better lie, but honestly, she didn't think she'd need one.

Which she was proven right.

(Y/N) "Alright, that makes sense. Thank you so much for your kindness...By the way, did she just call you Yelan?"

(Yelan) "That's my last name."

(Y/N) "Sabrina Yelan? That's a pretty name!"

(Yelan) Oh my gods, I can't believe they fell for that. "If you don't mind, could you just call me Yelan from now on?"

(Y/N) "Of course...I-If I may ask, where is your home?"

Yelan looked into (Y/N)'s eyes.

You could tell what a person was truly thinking by the look in their eyes, and Yelan had become very talented at telling what they were feeling.

With one glance, Yelan could see...

...They completely believed her.

In fact it looked like there was barely anything going up in that head of theirs.

Well, if taking (Y/N) under her wing was going to be anything, it certainly wasn't going to be boring.

(Yelan) "Right this way. And (Y/N)? Welcome to Liyue."

====

[Mixed Nuts - Will Stetson Lyrics]

====

Yelan had no idea the hurricane of a person she brought in as a partner.

Despite their outstanding combat prowess, they were completely lacking in everything else.

(Y/N) "I made us breakfast!"

(Yelan) "Ah, thanks."

Yelan took one bite before her eyes shot wide open.

(Y/N) looked at her with an expectant gaze, Yelan could see the lights shining in their eyes.

(Y/N) "Well?"

(Yelan) "Dice roll, whoever loses has to...eat this."

(Y/N) "O-Oh..."

Within this world we love we’re just like nuts in a mixed bag, packed tightly And everyone has a partner they love who they snuggle tight, now everything feels alright!

No common sense in the slightest, and of course their first result when tracking down a target is murder.

(Y/N) "Would it not be easier to punch out the skulls of his henchmen to make him talk?"

(Yelan) "It might make him talk, but we need to keep a low profile. Besides, no one can do that."

(Y/N) "It's not that hard."

(Yelan) "...Have...have you punched someone's skull out?"

(Y/N) "A-AH! I read it in a book once is all!"

(Yelan) "..."

We look into each other’s eyes and smile like we’re peanuts, so brightly But honestly the truth is obvious, this whole display is just a lie

Trying to act as a couple was also demanding. It gave her a great cover story, since (Y/N) could provide a testimony when she had to leave.

(Y/N) could also make Yelan seem less suspicious if they told the stories right.

But that usually required (Y/N) to be a good liar.

Which they were also not.

(Woman) "So, why did you come out of the house covered in blood?!"

(Y/N) "Oh, that? I just work myself to the bone!"

(Yelan) *facepalm*

What you see is only a template, golden standard to all those passing by, but it’s deeper than they know

Honestly, they were a huge mess of a person.

And yet...

Yelan came home one day to their shared home to find (Y/N) with a cookbook in front of them.

They didn't even seem to realize she was there.

Instead of saying anything, Yelan watched as they tried hard to make an edible dinner.

(Yelan) "...How about that."

(Y/N) "GAH! INTRUDER!"

A frying pan came flying past Yelan's head that went straight through the wall.

(Yelan) "..."

(Y/N) "O-Oh...welcome home?"

Feelings never shown, even when we’re all alone, no one but each other Hands on the table, but we’re just putting on a show

They were trying to be a genuinely good boyfriend/girlfriend.

Obvious homicidal tendencies and startling lack of common sense aside, they were genuinely a kind person.

Constantly choking back our secrets, lying abound; but it’s my home, you know Now we can try to fill our stomachs inside, with a great home-cooked meal, or something plain from outside

Yelan woke up to a blanket on them that wasn't there before, only to see (Y/N) in their own bed without one.

Smiling, she put it back on them as she began to fully wake up from her nap.

Despite it being an act, they were giving it their all.

Now nothing is assured, and everything changes in this life, and I know Now every day’s so mediocre, boring and plain, passing by But really I don’t even mind, ‘cause you are by my side

After a long solo mission, Yelan opened the doors with a loud sigh, energy completely drained.

Instead of the home being completely dark, she was greeted with a warm smile, with an even warmer greeting.

(Y/N) "Welcome back! I was just making a spicy dinner for your return!"

Yelan couldn't help but smile.

(Yelan) "Appreciate it. Good to be back."

Now the truth is out, it feels so nice! My stomach’s full and satisfied I’ll keep on going through this miracle with you, this little something we call life!

Honestly, Yelan forgot what it was like for someone to have her back.

Even during missions that obviously well above and beyond what adventurers should do, both within a moral and legal sense, (Y/N) never once questioned Yelan.

They were a gullible, confusing mess but...It was nice to have someone to just talk to normally without fear of having to do mental gymnastics.

Even though their relationship was just a cover for the both of them...this felt nice.

...

====

[Comedy - Will Stetson Lyrics]

====

Yelan rolled the dice to see what she was going to be doing today.

(Y/N) noticed this and went about their business. For the past year, they've known her to always do that when she had nothing to do, besides nap anyways.

(Y/N) "I'll make sure dinner's ready by the time you get back."

(Yelan) "Not what I'm rolling for today."

(Y/N) "H-Huh?"

(Yelan) "This is for 'couple' stuff. We need to look the part, right? It's a bit strange that our neighbors only see us do this once a month. They might get suspicious."

(Y/N) "We're just adventurers, Yelan. i'm not sure what could be so suspicious."

Yelan just smiled and rolled the die.

Landing on a six, she turned to them.

(Yelan) "Alright, surprise me. Your choice of what we get to do today."

Petty little catfights, burn it all to black, I Watch the planet proudly peter round Searching, but I never figured out where I’m goin’

Yelan and (Y/N) walked through the marketplace, trying out all sorts of food.

She denied any sweets, but treated herself to the spiciest things they could find.

Yelan decided to let (Y/N) try one, only for them to rush around the stalls frantically trying to find water.

(Yelan) "Hah, you alright?"

(Y/N) "HOT! S-SO HOT!"

Every tear’s dried upon my face Stumbling back to better days, to dreams I escape Everything was simple, flowing in a ripple

The next place they walked past was the gardens, enjoying the breeze and talking about whatever.

(Y/N) "Who were the blonde people I saw you with, by the way?"

(Yelan) "Oh, them? Apparently that's the two who saved Liyue when..."

It was a bit strange for Yelan to walk around this casually. But she couldn't complain, the dice chose this. Beats doing nothing, anyway.

When I saw your stunning, starlit grace Calm my heart and let me feel the same, now you’re callin’ Ennui, all that I’ve ever known

For lunch, it was (Y/N)'s choice. It was some imported Mondstadt meals from their brother.

(Yelan) "How is this still fresh?"

(Y/N) "A-Ah, my brother learned how to preserve food when I wasn't around to cook for him."

(Yelan) ...Looks like they learned how to ration their food to prevent eating your food to me...

Suddenly, now I’ve found a home So come along on the road

(Yanfei) "And you see, that's why I need your help today!"

(Yelan) "You don't mind if we take a detour, right?"

(Y/N) "Is that them right there? I'll get them!"

Cracking their knuckles, they suddenly leapt onto the roofs and caught up to the suspicious man in no time.

(Yelan) "Uh oh."

Coupled, we crafted a creed Thicker than blood or the sea Let the parties agree: Joined we’ll always be

Yelan finished her dinner as the two watched the sun set over Liyue Harbor.

(Yelan) "Hm...You know, I've always watched this sun set on my free days, but today...it feels different."

(Y/N) "Is it because I threw that suspect into the direction of the sun?"

(Yelan) "I was gonna say because I got to watch it with someone but...heh, sure. That's a good reason too."

Gimme your hand and I’ll guide you home Dinner is waiting, come on let’s go “Look at all the stuff I know” Show me the world that you see inside your soul

(Y/N)'s hand slowly reached for Yelan as they walked home together.

But they backed away last second. Even though this was a fake relationship, they probably shouldn't overstep their boundaries.

Hearing Yelan chuckle, her hand wrapped around theirs.

As (Y/N)'s words got caught up in their throat, Yelan just put a single finger to her own lips and winked.

Calming down mostly, the two walked back to their home, looking convincingly like a real couple.

When you’re here with me, all of our moments are comedy Dancing a waltz to the box frame creaks Laughing to tears is all we’ll ever need

Upon reaching the door to their home, Yelan let go of their hands, and they both went to their separate bedrooms' doors.

(Y/N) "Good night, Yelan!"

(Yelan) "Night!"

(Y/N) quietly closed their door while Yelan remained by her own for a moment.

(Yelan) I'm glad you're not just an ordinary person (Y/N)...I still have no idea what you are but...Thanks for being here.

Maybe someday, she'd tell them that in person.

It sounds like dangerously like a confession.

...Now that she thought about it, that didn't sound too bad.

Taking in stride this silly life—stepping in time