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shinjaeha · 3 years

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ipytm ep 2 (thoughts + spoilers)

i’ve been trying my hardest to forget about iptym during the week so the countdown to each new ep won’t feel as long, but i don’t think i’ve succeeded. with each new ep i feel more and more nervous and excited bc i know the conflict and angst is only going to keep ramping up as the series goes on (and this ep was a good indication of that...not FULL BLOWN angst yet, but the undercurrent of angst is slowly starting to come to the surface). i’m def more prepared for it than i was during itsay, but that doesn’t make it easy ;;;

the standard ‘this is not a proper analysis’ here...i’m completely aware that this post in particular is really messy, but i just had a lot of mixed feelings and thoughts with this ep. one day i will learn how to condense my thoughts better, but today is not that day so i’m doing this under a read more for once bc it’s embarrassingly long 😂

we start off with teh in acting class where his teacher is explaining how you need to be able to understand yourself before you’re able to understand other people (and therefore put yourself in the shoes of the character you’re playing)...which even before i knew where this ep was going to go felt a lot like foreshadowing for the events that were going to unfold in this ep.

the acting exercises are basically a lot like the ones that we see bkpp (and the rest of the cast) having to do as part of their workshops in the documentary eps, so it’s kind of cool to see them incorporate parts of that into the actual show itself. feels more authentic since, if you’ve watched the documentary eps, you know that this is actually what the actors have to go through when they’re learning to let themselves go and get into character.

so through this montage of all of teh’s classes, we get to see how much he’s enjoying learning more and more about his major. it’s truly his passion, and he’s finally in his element. and it’s great that he’s surrounded by so many seniors that are also as driven and passionate about performing as he is...i find it interesting how teh, even from the start, has always been most attracted to people that have the same sense of ambitiousness as he does. in itsay, his best friend (aside from oh-aew obv) was tarn, who had a very similar mindset as him. so here, it’s not really that much of a surprise that all his uni friends are basically the drama club seniors that he sees as role models. oh-aew is kind of that one outlier bc he doesn’t fit that same mould/personality type that teh tends to surround himself with, which is where you can already start to see the discord between them arising. in itsay, bc oh-aew was working towards the same end goal as teh at the time, it wasn’t as much of a conflict. but in ipytm we can see that their paths are starting to diverge more and more. that being said, oh-aew’s someone that teh truly needs in his life bc he offers a different perspective to most of teh’s other friends, and as we can see later on, teh REALLY needs that.

now THIS was one of the interactions i was really interested in. we already knew from the ep 2 teaser that teh isn’t exactly happy with oh-aew’s new friend group, so i’ve been waiting to see how teh acts when he’s around them. everyone’s at q’s house celebrating plug’s birthday, and honestly?? they’re all really sweet and accommodating of teh (they get him sweet drinks bc teh tells them that he doesn’t drink bc it’s too bitter, and they don’t pressure him when he says he can’t drink bc he’s got morning classes). but then the conversation turns to teh and oh-aew becoming actors and earning lots of money (and how convenient that is), and teh starts to get a little riled up. i don’t think they mean anything by what they’re saying (they’re just playing around), but we know that teh's sensitive to this sort of thing, and i think to him, it’s almost like they’re saying it’s ‘easy’ to become an actor and start making bank. teh, who already knows how hard it is (esp since he’s been watching how difficult it’s been for khim in particular), starts getting defensive about it. the focus being on money hits a nerve with him too bc teh is very clearly majoring in comm arts bc it’s his dream, not bc of the money he could make from it. teh and oh-aew’s gang are just on different wavelengths, and you can really start to see how teh’s having trouble bonding with oh-aew’s gang bc of their differing mindsets.

it makes me slightly sad that you can see how worried oh-aew is about teh and his friends not meshing. it’s like we, the audience, are all feeling what oh-aew is feeling...his nervous glances at teh bc he’s afraid that teh might not like them. and the discomfort on teh’s part too. all of oh-aew friends tend to be a lot more like him, relaxed and happy to go with the flow, but we know that teh can be pretty rigid and intense about the things that he’s passionate about. oh-aew recognises this, which is why he’s as anxious as he is in the first place.

oh-aew’s tea tattoo in honour of teh is actually so sweet 😭 it shows how much teh means to him. he really got a permanent mark on his body to symbolise his love for his boyfriend ;;; but from teh’s perspective, it’s literally that first mark of change. it IS a pretty big decision, so i don’t blame teh for being shocked about it, but teh likely sees this as oh-aew’s friends being a ‘bad’ influence on him (which we know gets brought up again later). not bc of the tattoo itself, but bc of what it represents. it’s like he’s watching oh-aew start to change before his very eyes and he doesn’t know how to deal with that so he brushes it away for now.

the framing of that shot where teh and oh-aew are facing each other and then q comes to walk in between them is A LOT like how they used to frame the both of them in itsay and having bas walk in between them. interesting.

HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THE FACT THAT OH-AEW SPEAKS CHINESE WHEN HE’S DRUNK...that’s just plain adorable :’) it’s like he’s reverting back to when teh was teaching him chinese and they were first falling in love again. teh’s method of getting close to him was always tutoring oh-aew in chinese, so it’s as though oh-aew is trying to feel closer to teh again by speaking chinese to him. sort of like he’s trying to recreate that feeling all over again. i also love that this is basically the opposite of that oppo short film ad bkpp did haha.

we got the “ke yi ma” “ke yi” again ;;;;;;;; i love their little domestic moments. they’re so soft when they’re like this (i know we’re gonna have to weather the angst, but i hope we still have a lot more fluffy moments like this too pls). side note, i really love the lighting in these scenes!!

when oh-aew reads teh’s note about the kimchi jjigae and smiles but then reads the “do not skip class” and his smile fades away...oh, oh-aew, i feel u.

so now we get to see oh-aew in acting class, and the difference between oh-aew’s feelings towards class and teh’s feelings are like night and day. teh’s classes make him feel so fulfilled...this is genuinely something that he wants to do. but oh-aew is struggling. he doesn’t have that same sense of purpose as teh bc he’s starting to realise that this might not be what he really wants...he’s trying but just not enjoying it at all. when teh tells him about the casting call, i feel so much dread for him bc he’s clearly not looking forward to it whatsoever, but he knows how much this means to teh...so he’s willing to ignore his feelings for now if teh’s happy :(

is it just me or was this when oh-aew stopped carrying his ‘heart attack’ bag too??

idk this struggle in particular just feels so personal to me. i really identify with oh-aew when it comes to this bc when i was at uni i changed my major like 3-4 times (and changed unis a bunch of times on top of that) bc i had NO IDEA what i wanted to do. even now, i still have no clue what i’m doing a lot of the time. i’m glad that oh-aew at least managed to find some sort of clarity when he dropped in on his friends’ advertising class and realised that this was something that he enjoyed and was good at :’)

teh’s so excited and focussed on this audition that he can’t even see how worried and reluctant that oh-aew is about this. he wants them to have the same dream so bad that he can’t see that this might not be oh-aew’s dream anymore. but anyway, oh-aew is the sweetest, best boy as always. he’s so, so encouraging with teh. so patient. he really such a great balance to teh’s more volatile nature...but that contrast is also what makes you feel so bad for him when teh lashes out at him without thinking (as he’s prone to doing).

i LOVE khim. i just have so much respect for her. she’s always trying her hardest, and it’s painful to see her give so much of herself yet constantly be knocked down. the resilience that takes. i know that that’s part of the industry she’s in, but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch. there’s a lot to be said about how harsh the entertainment industry can be (and the inherent ageism/sexism/homophobia within it), which i don’t have the time to go into here, but having to hear criticism like that...purely based on your looks (you don’t look smart enough, young enough, manly enough, etc.) is so incredibly disheartening. teh commenting on how harsh it is, and khim saying that it’s super common and telling the both of them how they’re gonna have to go through all of that the more casting calls they go to...OF COURSE oh-aew is only going to feel even more dispirited about this when he’s already realising that this might not be his thing anymore.

being able to take rejection and criticism is really fucking difficult (i know i could never do it)...and seeing oh-aew being told that he’s not ‘manly’ enough/too ‘girly’ in acting class and again at the casting call is yet another knock at his confidence. the way you physically see oh-aew get more flustered and anxious as the audition goes on, when he sees the crew shaking their heads at him :((( i feel all the nervousness, anxiety and embarrassment that he’s feeling right down to my very bones. then to walk out from that audition to khim talking about how damn hard it is to keep doing this time and time again only to be continually rejected?? my poor boy :( what’s fascinating to me is how differently the both of them interpret khim’s speech. teh latches on to her words and sees them as motivation to keep going...to keep trying and persevering. like a challenge. but to oh-aew, he just sees the difficulty and rejection. the instability of this career path, and how hard this could potentially be on his family as well. they’re both hearing completely different things.

teh being so happy about his audition even though he didn’t get the part and the way he turns around to face oh-aew directly when oh-aew tells him they said he was “too girly” and how he couldn’t change his personality to be what they wanted :((( pls. i just want to hug him so bad. teh’s “i like you the way you are now” and reassurance that so many other people do too 😭i know he kind of makes a mess of himself later on, but i’m still so glad that oh-aew got to hear that from him at least.

this show is the best at making you feel all that nervousness and anxiety when any of the characters are about to drop some big news. i was waiting with bated breath when oh-aew told teh he wanted to transfer majors. it makes me sad though that oh-aew has to constantly feel like he’s walking on eggshells when it comes to teh...he’s always most worried about teh’s reaction, and that’s prob the main reason why he didn’t opt out of comm arts even earlier. but oh-aew has all these mounting doubts about his major, and there’s only so long he can stick it out for teh’s sake, and the casting call (and khim’s words) really solidified that for him.

teh’s "you haven’t given it your all”/”you haven’t done your best” rubs me the wrong way bc it’s easy to think that way when you’re set on something and know that that’s what you want to do...but when you’re doubting/not sure about something, it just isn’t the same thing. we all have different thresholds when it comes to what we can endure and how much we can put into something. teh’s a hard worker, we’ve seen how dedicated he can be when he really wants something, but not everyone works like this. not everyone can be a teh or a khim. and esp not when they’re having to give their all to something that doesn’t feel right for them. and oh-aew’s right...sometimes once is enough to know that something’s not a fit for you.

when oh-aew mentions that he sat in on advertising class and thinks he might be into it, it’s like a parallel of that scene when they’re kids and oh-aew told teh that he wanted to become an actor like him. only now it’s the opposite. teh’s had this plan in his head that he and oh-aew are going to reach their dream of becoming actors and the lead protagonists in a movie/series together for so long now that it’s hard for him to reconcile that oh-aew might no longer want this as much as he does anymore. it’s like he can see this ultimate goal of his crumbling. so just hearing that it’s bc of q and the rest of the gang’s ‘influence’ that oh-aew sat in on their advertising class in the first place (and this triggered his interest in advertising) is like strike two for teh vs. oh-aew’s friends.

i’ve def mentioned this before, but oh-aew has always been the more pragmatic of the two, whilst teh is more idealistic, so i understand why he would gravitate towards something that was more stable of a career for him. more of a guarantee. he knows that advertising/marketing suits him better (not to mention that he’s always had the resort as his safety to fall back on too), and it’s something that he’s discovering he actually enjoys more in general too.

when i first watched this, i was like “oh wow teh’s matured so much!!” bc he didn’t blow up at oh-aew during this scene...that kind of ended up backfiring on me towards the end, but at the same time, i do think there’s a certain level of growth there since he does end up trying to reassure oh-aew (even if the blow up still occurs later on). it’s a process though...and even baby steps are progress.

8 months later and teh’s walking past that same place he and oh-aew walked by during his first night in bangkok...only now the poster is no longer the same red one. it’s blue... as though it’s signifying that this is just teh’s dream alone now, and teh clearly still hasn’t come to terms with that yet.

i’m really happy seeing oh-aew in a much better place now!! it’s so good to see him happy and actually involved in uni with his friends. but watching teh struggle going through casting calls and rejections makes my heart ache. hearing khim’s experience with auditions, and actually having to experience it irl, are two entirely different things. it’s like the reality of the situation is starting to hit in for teh. and that, on top of oh-aew not being there to support him in the same way bc their goals in life aren’t similarly aligned anymore, is starting to take its toll.

god, when teh lined oh-aew and was waiting for his response i was like nooooo don’t do it DON’T DO IT only for him to open ig to check oh-aew’s story 😭(though it IS cute that they have couple pfps). but we’re regressing. and now that they have different social circles it’s even harder to connect than before. teh feels like oh-aew’s being pulled away from him, into another friend group that doesn’t include him...and his insecurities are bubbling to the surface again. teh’s always needed that reassurance that he’s ‘special’ to oh-aew. clearly, we know that he is...but even now that they’re dating, it’s still something that he questions. and esp now that oh-aew is starting to feel like he’s fading further and further away out of reach.

i love seeing all of teh’s friends encourage him. they all understand how tough it is, and to see them all pull together to lift his spirits again is so lovely. but then his mood completely changes again when oh-aew comes to join them for dinner :( teh’s doing that thing again where he says everything’s fine when everything’s not fine (cue that “they ask you how you are and you just have to say you’re fine when you’re not really fine” meme). the flash to teh’s face when top says that he didn’t pass the exam to get into anantasart, and you know he’s just thinking about how he gave up his spot for oh-aew initially, and now that oh-aew’s transferred, it’s kind of like he’s turned it down twice. oof.

when teh tells them all that oh-aew’s transferred to advertising, it’s as though this is his way of trying to separate both his worlds. like oh-aew doesn’t belong here with his drama club friends, and it’s that pettiness that we got from teh in itsay is back in full force all over again. it reminds me so much of that time oh-aew told the itsay gang that he was a virgin, and so teh told his friends at school that he was a virgin too. or when oh-aew sent him that picture of his and bas’ legs touching, so teh retaliated by putting that pic of tarn on his story and leaning in to kiss her. it’s like he always needs to one up oh-aew. he doesn’t want oh-aew to feel the same bond with his drama club friends that teh has (esp when he sees that oh-aew is so close to his uni friends). where oh-aew was anxious about teh and his uni friends not getting on, teh is anxious that oh-aew and his drama club friends will get on too well so he has to create this distinction between them. kind of like his petty attempt to be all “i have my own friends too!!”, but it’s also combined with that feeling of inadequacy that he might not fit into oh-aew’s life anymore. he might not be ‘special’. idk if that makes sense but basically i think that teh’s feeling a lot of conflicting things during this scene.

when he starts attacking oh-aew at dinner...that was really hard to watch. you ever feel like you want to reach through the screen and just put your hand over someone’s mouth so they stop talking?? it was rough :/ it’s one thing to fight when it’s just the two of you alone, but it’s another thing to tear your partner down right in front of your friends. i understand teh’s feelings (and i know that they’ve been building up over this time), but my frustration was through the ROOF during this. it’s on brand for him, but still. and then poor khim :( i know oh-aew didn’t mean it in that way but the awkwardness of this entire dinner was just overwhelming.

another thing that’s sad about what teh said about oh-aew is that this is a huge sore spot for oh-aew, and it’s always been one of his biggest insecurities. the reason they stopped being friends when they were kids was bc teh said that he was going to quit eventually, so for teh to talk about how “shilly shally and indecisive” he is/how easily he ‘quits’ at things is a low blow when he already knows how much those words hurt oh-aew.

teh has a habit of jumping to conclusions based on oh-aew’s social media posts instead of actually talking things out with oh-aew so naturally it would make an appearance again here as well. and calling oh-aew’s friends “shitty” bc they’re different to him (aren’t as driven as teh and his drama club gang...therefore a bad influence on oh-aew) makes it really evident that teh still has a lot to learn. he really needs to start taking those acting class lessons to heart so he can see that not everyone is the same, and that other peoples’ experiences and perspectives are valid too.

teh’s long pause and “maybe” to oh-aew’s “and if this is what i really am, you’re not gonna like me anymore, are you?” BIG SIGH. it’s so typical of teh. i know he’s honest to a fault, but he REALLY needs to learn to think before he speaks sometimes bc he always ends up regretting it. i love that impulsivity of his, but it’s also one of the most frustrating things about him.

one thing that i find kind of annoying with the time skip is that we miss so much of teh’s festering feelings that it’s a bit harder to empathise with him when he has his eventual blow up?? i think if we were seeing this more consistently, it would be much easier for us to understand things from his pov better. like if we could slowly see this building up more and more as time went on, rather than just time skipping the 8 months until the blow up.

anyway, now khim and top are graduating ;;; i really hope that we’ll still get to see more of them in the next eps. i also love how the people in teh’s life are always so concerned for him (and how oh-aew’s doing). the message behind the book teh gets for khim’s graduation present is really sweet.

when khim first tells them that she’s going to be a flight attendant and teh blows up, i felt really angry at him initially. but upon reflection and rewatching this ep again...i think i understand where he’s coming from a lot better now. obv i still think he was out of line bc of course what khim’s saying makes sense...she can’t keep going to casting calls and scraping by with minor roles when she has to support herself and her family. in the end, we all need money to survive, and sometimes we have to be realistic about it. i really loved what she said about how we can have multiple dreams at once. but yeah, my heart really went out for her so much here :( it might be difficult for teh to see (or accept) rn, but he’s a lot more privileged than he realises. he still has hoon and his mother to support him financially, but not everyone is in the same position. not everyone gets to be as lucky.

regardless, i still understand why teh gets as torn up about it as he does. khim is someone that he’s looked up to and respected SO much...and his own doubts and insecurities have been steadily increasing. first, oh-aew changes majors, then, he keeps getting rejected at auditions, and now, the senior that he respects the most bc of her hard work and determination, is giving up her dream (at least in his eyes) to become a flight attendant. it’s like the world keeps telling him to give up bc it’s not going to work out for him. and he’s invested EVERYTHING into this dream. it’s all or nothing for him. but it’s like everyone else is slipping away, and it’s getting harder and harder to hold onto.

when teh looks at the tie and is reminded of oh-aew always being there to put it on for him :(((((((( ngl i was hoping that teh would be the first one to approach oh-aew (since their fight was bc of him), but i’m glad he apologised at least. and that they had a good talk about their feelings. but then again, this reflection after their fights is what they’ve always been fairly good at. teh just has to learn to stop internalising things so much that he ends up exploding so they don’t get to this point in the first place. so much has flipped from the first ep where oh-aew was the one feeling lonely and out of place. now it’s teh’s turn to feel all alone as he sees everyone’s dreams and goals (but his) start to change. like everyone is moving on and learning to adjust while he’s being left behind.

when they’re promising each other that their love for one another will never change, it just makes me feel so SAD. seeing them in the moonlight like this compared to the first ep when they were on the beach in phuket and teh was so hopeful and oh-aew was so worried :( everything’s already changed so much. making this promise under the moon like this reminds me of how bkpp kept talking about how the ‘ipytm’ title itself means an impossible promise...the two of them hugging in the moonlight as the score plays just feels so painfully bittersweet somehow ;;; my heart is aching, and i want the next ep, but i can’t deny that my anxiety is slowly building.

anyway, i know the end of this sounds so negative but i’m still banking on our teh/oh-aew endgame!!!!!!! it just needs to get worse to get better, and there’s still so much space for them to grow and learn. so many more experiences in store for them.

#i promised you the moon #ipytm #text #i'm sorry this is so long and that it took so long #if you read this whole thing you deserve some type of medal bc idk HOW it got to this point #if only i was able to be this dedicated to my assessments back when i was studying #i was mad with teh during the first watch but that simmered down a whole lot during the second watch #i think it's just hurts me to see him keep shooting himself in the foot #but i know that you mature through your experiences and the way he acts in this is still so consistent with his character #just...can he not hurt oh-aew like this. i just don't want to see him sad anymore pls stop making him sad #ok i'm going to sleep now peace out and until next week where hopefully there'll be some structure to my thoughts for once

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letsdiscoverkitty · 3 years

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"Life" Update - May 2021

This is the last of the three updates I have to post at the moment. If anyone actually reads these, especially in one go, you really do deserve a medal and I have no idea what I have done to deserve your kindness and support but THANK YOU SO MUCH (to all of you who are here, you are all truly wonderful and amazing) Okay, let's get going....

I suppose the title is a bit, well, overkill. To say that anyone has been had any sort of "life" over the past year would be a huge misuse of the word. The global pandemic has, quite literally, turned life upside down for the vast majority of people and I know that lockdowns, especially in the UK, have meant that anything other than what was deemed "essential" has been off the cards, which has hit us all hard.

I personally found it quite difficult whilst I was in hospital as although on the one hand it was good to know that there wasn't much that you were missing out on whilst locked on a ward with 15 minutes fresh air (if you were lucky), it did make it hard to find/hold onto motivation at times. Coupled with the fear of how my dad's condition would progress, whether he would make it and what sort of home life I would be going back to; the world suddenly felt even noisier than it had before (which I didn't think was really possible). The situation seemed to further heighten my fears as well as add to them. I found my mind was swamped with so many questions and fears, to then be asked about my future/what I wanted to do with my life (that classic question) and what my motivations were to get better, was too much. I fell blank.

I had completely lost myself and any shed of hope that was left inside of me. I tried to put on a smile; paint a different picture to the outside world but inside I was dark. I was hollow. I was empty.

What was the point? You never know what is waiting around the corner; everything can turn upside down overnight. What kind of 'life' would there be going back to anyway? Would it be possible to go to University anymore or would there still be multiple restrictions in place? would that make the huge financial costs worth it? What sort of society will we be coming out of the pandemic anyway? Will we even come out of this? Will people ever go back to offices again? Will we be able to see friends soon or go out to places? What about travelling? Fun? LIFE?

I found depression swamped me more than ever after dad's accident. I was trying to hold myself together for mum but I was losing all hope of anything ever being 'the same' or 'okay' again. In the end, the only reason I accepted the admission was for mum - I wanted to be able to support her with dad in hospital and us not know what the future held; as much as I wished I could be there all the time, I knew in the state I was that I couldn't. Initially I was told the admission would be a short one, that I could then go back home to support my mum through the family trauma...but that 4 weeks soon turned into over 8 months, which I still can't believe.

Gosh, I am sorry, I seem to have got a little distracted. This was meant to be the POSITIVE update. So let's get to those bits...

NEWS ONE: I HAVE A JOB (starting in Sept)

So whilst in hospital my consultant kept trying to get me to think about what I wanted to do with my life (just the small questions you know *lol*) - in her eyes she thought it would be risky to go back to University to do neuroscience/a degree so intense, and that instead I should think about doing something more creative, taking small steps to get a part time job and then go from there - which, as much as I hated to admit, I agreed with. However after one particularly bad run-in with the nutritionist when she decided to tell me that she didn't think I could achieve a life beyond Anorexia (it must have been mid-way-ish through my admission) blah blah blah (I get that she could have been trying to motivate me but there is a way to go about it and then there are ways to really not go about it and she chose the latter). Anyway, I was rather angry/mad and ended up doing basically trying to prove everyone wrong and started doing some research into my different options...

Long story short: I ended up applying to a degree apprenticeship scheme in business management...I've never really considered something like this before, perhaps partially because at school they drilled into me that business was a "soft" subject as it would not be looked upon very highly for Oxbridge applications *rolls eyes*. Thankfully I did a lot of research into Degree Apprenticeships a few years ago so I knew where to look online. Anyway, back to this application. I ended up going through the process/tests, somehow managing to make it through the initial online stages, then just before I was discharged I was invited to a online interview!

I only had a few days to do the interview before it timed out so I actually ended up doing it In the end the day after I was discharged (not ideal) and I was convinced that I had messed it up as it was one of those ones where you get shown the question for around 30 seconds before being given 2 minutes to respond - i.e. stress.pressure.anxiety.stumbling over words. HORRENDOUS.

I somehow passed the interview and the reviews before being invited to an online assessment centre in Feb, which spanned a whole day and included multiple interviews (the first was a strengths based interview with 2 interviewers for just over an hour - yuck!!!) as well as a presentation which we were given 24hrs in advance to prepare for (we were given 4 'topics'/questions and had to answer all of them in a 15 minute window using aids if we chose to, again to 2 (different) interviewers before having a 45 minute further interview - double yuck!)

Dare I say that I actually enjoyed the preparation for the presentation and the interviews?! It was so nice to have a focus and something to be working on that I was actually really beginning to connect with/want/see myself doing. The interviews and presentation themselves? HORRIBLE but the process reignited something within me. After the assessment centre day we were told it could be 7-10 working days to hear back from them - waiting for anything like this is just the worst so I wasn't looking forward to it and tried not to get my hopes up as these schemes are ridiculously hard to get into... Well, I got the call the next day saying that they were so impressed and out of something like 14,000 applications, I was offered one of the spaces on the scheme!! - I honestly still can't believe it and imposter syndrome is v real -

I know at the beginning of this I sounded very blase about the whole thing but as I progressed through the process, as I read more about the scheme and the business and what it would entail, the more I began to get excited. The more I realised how interesting it was and what an amazing opportunity it would be for me.

Despite this, I was also at the time, finishing up yet another an application to University (for the millionth time, I swear I must be a pro at these personal statements by now) this time for psychology and behavioural studies. This was before I got the offer of the degree apprenticeship scheme, which I knew was a long shot with only a handful of places given for thousands of applicants, so I felt I had to keep my options open (Neuro is still an area of fascination to me but not so much with the INTENSE LEVEL of physiology and pharmacology that I was doing at Bristol. Yes bits of it were good and interesting but that degree was ridiculous and, again, I felt far more drawn towards the behavioural studies and psychology when researching into Universities). I ended up getting 3 offers, 1 interview for Cambridge and 1 rejection (ironically from Bristol, even with my recommendation/support being from my previous personal tutor at Bristol!) - so I suddenly had options. And then the offer from the degree apprenticeship came through and there were even more options to choose from.

It honestly felt so surreal (and still does).

In the end, after a lot of thinking and debating and researching and talking, I decided to withdraw my University application and I accepted the degree apprenticeship role. Overall it is such an incredible opportunity that I knew I couldn't turn down, whereas University will always be there. I am actually getting a little excited about it (as well as extremely nervous, but I must say that the company has made a really positive/good impression thus far, even as far as creating MH podcasts with a psychologist for us and offering things like zoom baking sessions!).

So what is this degree apprenticeship? In short, it is a 3 year course during which I will have a Monday to Friday job at the company (for which the office is actually commutable from home - it is about 1hrs drive, which is not the best but it does mean that I can stay at home for at least the first year and there is a train I could get if I was too tired to do the drive all the time. As much as staying at home is not my long term plan it might help with the transition back to work/education to have a bit of stability and the support). During the first 2 years at the company we do four separate 6 month rotations in different areas to get lots of experience (marketing, supply chain, sales etc) whilst in the final year you get to put in a preference for where you would like to work for the year long placement. During this, every 6 or 7 weeks, we have to spend a week at University (which is not in commutable distance at all so the the company pays for our accommodation, travel and food during this time). As far as I have been told, we also get time during the working week allocated to do Uni work as well as our standard 'desk' jobs. Oh and not to mention one of the biggest sellers for degree apprenticeships....the company is basically sponsoring you so pays ALL of your tuition fees PLUS a basic salary! This means that you come out, in this case, with a Chartered business management degree, 3 years of hands-on work experience, as well as you being pretty much guaranteed a job within the company AND no student debt!!! How incredible is that? PLUS one big perk of the job is that they allow dogs in the office - I mean how could I say no to that?!!!!

So yes, by some magical miracle I actually have a job lined up for September! It still doesn't feel real and I am yet to fully process it. They don't know how it will be affected by COVID but the company did continue the programme last year (unlike some that postponed) so fingers crossed all should be going ahead. I have 'met' the other 4(?) who are on the scheme at my office as well and they seem lovely (including one other person who is my age/slightly older - which was such a relief as I was worried about it being only people just out of college).

I realise that it is going to be tough, I do not underestimate that at all, but I couldn't let anorexia still yet ANOTHER life milestone and opportunity away from me. There was a lot of questioning as to whether I should take it or not; I went back and forth between many spreadsheets that I made but I think this opportunity far outweighs going back to University. I have tried that route twice already and had to leave because of everything/haven't really coped (I think in some ways, being at Uni there is TOO MUCH free time and it allowed my perfectionism to run riot as I always felt like I was 'behind' in one way or another?). And that is not to mention that if I was going back to University, I would need to spend another 3-4 years studying, I would leave with little work experience or job in mind at the age of 29/30 with a mountain of debt.... And as I said before, I can always go back to University if I want to in the future/re train if I decide to, but this opportunity with a global company, well, this will never ever come my way again.

So yes that is my BIG BIG news. But I also have one more bit of news....

I'm getting a kitten. Yes, A KITTEN!!!!! I have so much more to say on this but for now you will have to wait and see. Photos will come when SHE does (a couple of weeks now)!!!

#personal #update #long #sorry I am no good at writing short posts anymore #well I never was #but this is my big news #TWO BITS OF BIG NEWS #ive still been baking and crocheting #and have taken up some gardening #and just generally trying to muddle through each day to be honest with you

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japanessie · 4 years

Note

Hi Shelly. I'm a new storyteller. Tbh I feel upset because i just found out about this amazing band 9 years after their debut. I know that MFS is an indie band and maybe it'll be more difficult for them to gain public recognition. I want to ask you about MFS popularity in Japan these days. Are they doing well or they still struggling? Thank you!

Hi ✌️😊

Welcome to the fandom 🤗. Would you share with us all how you found MFS? It would be fun to know your story too. My story is in this post.... hehe 😄

https://japanessie.tumblr.com/post/139468092797/how-did-you-find-out-about-my-first-story

−−−−−−−−−−−−−−

It’s ok. Don’t be too sad 🤗

Think of it this way 😉. You came to them at a point when....

1. They already have an extensive collection of works under their belts for you to choose your favs from.

2. Availability of their music on legal digital platforms (Spotify, YouTube Music, international iTunes etc).

3. A bunch of fanpages in different languages.

4. Many translated lyrics, articles and interviews.

5. An official Fan Club 😀🤘

6. Online official band merch shop.

Those of us who started early didn’t have much or even nothing at all (not even Spotify!). We, the fans, had to support each other building up the fandom into what it is today from scratch. The only advantage the earlier fans had was the fact that the band members had public Twitter/Instagram accounts back then.

How popular is MFS in Japan?

Hmm... interesting.

I met a Japanese guy who looked like he was in his late 20s in Sept 2019 at a hostel in Fukuoka . Upon knowing that I was there to see MY FIRST STORY, he said, “Sugoii!! They’re very popular you know.”

I was a bit astonished to hear it as I assumed MFS was not known much, “Really 😮?? I'm not Japanese. So, I don’t know if they’re popular here or not.”

“Yes, they’re very popular,” he said in an affirming manner, smiling 😀.

Our conversation ventured on to ONE OK ROCK after that though 😅. It’s like a given that anyone who knows MFS would know who OOR is. We ended up watching OOR videos on YouTube together with his friend and another traveller in the hostel common area.

Yup... that's OOR on the TV screen 😅

Looks like MFS is known just enough but .....🤔

They’re NOT YET at a point where people of any walk of life you meet in Japan would know them like they do with OOR. Hiro’s brother Taka’s face was practically plastered on billboards all over for Honda in 2019.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that OOR is moving up bit by bit towards the level of super Senpai like HYDE and L’arc en Ciel sooner or later. I’m not talking musically or artistically. I’m talking about the level of being known by the general public in their country.

I would say that MFS is still mostly only known by the teens and the 20-somethings which is their main market. But once you reach the point where babies and 80-year-old grandmas also know who you are, then you have reached the golden plateau. Which is why MFS is actively trying to expand their fanbase by collaborating with many different artists.

It's a big blessing too that MFS leader Sho Tsuchiya is a songwriter/producer behind the scene and this opens lots of doors for them to get song projects. Getting that King & Ashley theme song on Netflix is important for the band's “brand awareness".

* Personally though I feel that Hiro's status as a Moriuchi is what has been garnering attention from the media. Especially now that Hiro is more open with talking about his family in public. But hey, it's still publicity for MFS indirectly 😄

By Indie artists’ standard, MFS is secure. However...

MFS wants to be an arena selling band and later on the Dome. They want more than being secure at ZEPP Hall level (can easily sell out 2.5K~3K pax per Hall) and the Budokan (10K~12K pax no problem). However I can’t close my eyes to the fact that they didn’t quite fill up Saitama Super Arena. My analysis of that situation here.

I personally feel their target planning is a bit too tight in timing:

Nippon Budokan (2016 ~ 12K pax)

Makuhari Messe (2017 ~ 18K pax)

Yokohama Arena (early 2019 ~ 18K pax)

Saitama Super Arena (late 2019 ~ 18K pax)

Tokyo Dome (planned for 2021 ~ can they reach >18K pax?)

Being Indie means they don’t quite have the budget or networking power for the marketing machines that big labels have. Add to that, the entire Live entertainment industry around the world is being financially crippled by a deadly pandemic.

The Corona virus situation unfortunately came at the most crucial time for MFS to build the momentum for the Tokyo Dome show 😖. I do hope they will continue using their digital platforms wisely and strategically. Learn the algorithms and stuff.

Can MFS do the Tokyo Dome by 2021?

Would they take advantage of the “social distancing" rule to do a fully seated show with huge spacing in between and charge higher ticket prices without the pressure of selling >18K tickets 🤔?

Note: Concert photo is of girl group TWICE at the Tokyo Dome. Reportedly 50K pax per night.

To me it's more realistic for MFS to postpone the Tokyo Dome show to another year or two or even 3+ if they want to build up an attendance number beyond 18K pax 🤔. The problem is with the current Corona situation, can they financially afford to postpone any show much longer 😕?

#reply #my first story #maifasu #マイファス #one ok rock #oor

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our-time-is-now · 4 years

Text

June 24, 2019 (2): So you still don't have a plan?

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on our blog.

Monday, 3:57 pm:

Hanna: *is sitting on a bench close to the school, two coffee-2-go cups next to her, holding her face into the sun while waiting for Matteo* *thinks that it's great that it's already so warm and hopes that they will have great weather like this when they're on holiday* *quickly looks at her phone to check the time but realizes that it's not yet 4 pm and is expecting Matteo to arrive a little after 4 than right on time* *puts her phone back in her bag, closes her eyes again and keeps sunbathing*

Matteo: *is quite punctual for his standards and arrives at the park at 4 o'clock* *but then needs a few minutes to find Hanna* *grins when he sees her with her eyes closed and kicks the bench* Hannananana, na? Everything alright? *grins when she opens her eyes and gives her a quick hug before sitting down next to her* *ruffles around in his backpack and takes out a packet of cookies to present them to Hanna* *laughs when she gives him coffee in exchange* We're well prepared.

Hanna: *flinches slightly when someone kicks the bench and opens her eyes* *grins when she sees that it's Matteo* Naaa? *returns the hug and nods* Everything alright. What about you? *laughs when he takes out the cookies and hands him the coffee* Perfect! Just imagine if both of us had brought coffee or both of us had brought cookies... *grins* *takes a cookie and leans back into the sun again and closes her eyes for a moment* Awww... the weather is so nice! I hope it stays like this forever!

Matteo: *laughs* We're simply a good team. *takes a careful sip from his coffee and realizes that it has a good drinking temperature* *grins when she leans back again* *also takes a cookie* No, I hope not... I prefer fall... *sighs slightly and leans back* But if it were fall already then I'd already have to do something with my life, so I guess summer is quite nice, after all...

Hanna: *bites into her cookie and with her mouth half full says* I feel like we have way too much fall and way too little summer... *grins slightly but then gets serious again when Matteo mentions life after summer* *sits up a little, pulls one leg up on the bench and turns to face him* So you still don't have a plan? Any idea in what direction you might want to go? *says it completely without judgment – it had been quite similar for her until a few days ago, after all* *takes a sip from her coffee*

Matteo: *can't hear any judgment from her, either* *she's also one of the few people he doesn't find it hard to be open with, where he doesn't feel pressured* No, not really... I know all the things I don't want to do... some boring office-job, I don't want to be a teacher, I don't want to study something with which I can't do anything later, after all... but otherwise... *shrugs* Everyone else has already applied and waits excitedly or have already been accepted, but me? *shakes his head* I'll probably sit on the checkout counter at Aldi forever or something like that.

Hanna: *grins a little at the things Matteo is listing and then nods* It's the same for me. There are 1000 things that I /can't/ imagine doing. *but then keeps listening to him before telling him about her* *nods when he mentions the others* Yes! And some of them seem to be so sure – I can't really understand that! How am I supposed to already know what I want to do for the rest of my life? *then laughs when he mentions Aldi* I've heard that it's not a bad job...

Matteo: *nods when Hanna understands him* Yes, all of them... Jonas wanted to be a teacher for as long as I've known him... David has told me that he wanted to study filmmaking when we met for the second time and he already knows exactly where and how he has to apply... *shrugs* I mean, it's great for them and everything... but... *shrugs again* I think you should be able to do nothing for a year, or all kinds of jobs for a week or something, to try it, and afterwards you decide... *then looks at her* So you don't have a real plan, either?

Hanna: *is also happy for the people who simply know what they want to do, but at the same time is also a little jealous* *nods at his thoughts on the try-out-year and says* Yes, something like that would be cool! But you'd probably have to arrange that yourself in the form of internships – but you also have to get those in the first place. Something like that would have to be somehow supervised and supported! *tilts her head at Matteo's question* Well, I kinda know a little bit what I might want to do... *sees his questioning look and continues* I would really like to do something with people... preferably with children or teenagers, but I don't really want to be a teacher or a kindergarten teacher... that would somehow be too much educational responsibility... I just want to somehow... help? *laughs quietly because that somehow sounds stupid* I could study social work but I don't really know if I can do it, to be honest. And then I studied something for three or four years and realize only afterwards that it's not my thing... that's also really stupid. *takes a sip of coffee* Well, anyways, I did some research and last week I applied for a Voluntary Year of Social Service...

Matteo: *takes another sip from his coffee and takes another cookie as he listens to her* *nods* Yeah, there should be pre-planned stations that you just go through... *looks at her interested when she says that she now has at least some idea* *then nods at what she says, feels similar about it* Yes, educational responsibility isn't really my thing, either... *nods at what she says about studying, feels like this about every subject* *then looks surprised* Voluntary Year of Social Service? That's still a thing? I thought that was abolished when compulsory military service was abolished? *slightly nods approvingly* But that sounds quite nice... is quite similar, right? To check it out for a year, see what it's like...

Hanna: *laughs quietly* Yes – that’s still a thing! *then shrugs* Well, you don't go through various stations but you only pick one thing at the beginning. And in between you have several seminars where you meet others and exchange your experiences. I think at these seminars you also learn what it's like somewhere else. Anyways, they've sent me a really long list of facilities in Berlin where they are still looking for people – there really is /everything/ on it: schools, youth centers, homeless shelters, mother-child facilities... everything really! *grimaces slightly* I'm quite overwhelmed with all the options. But I have to make a decision until tomorrow because I have a meeting with the head of this facility...

Matteo: *frowns slightly when she tells him about all the things you can do* *thinks that it doesn't sound too bad for one year, just to check it out* *then looks a little confused* Huh? You applied to some central office and they send you a list of 1000 facilities and how do you know who wants you? Or did they already send it to them on your behalf? *doesn't really know how all of this works* What if you apply for a Voluntary Year of Social Service but you definitely don't want to go to a mother-child facility?

Hanna: *takes another cookie and starts to eat it* *frowns and tries to answer Matteo's questions* Well, as far as I understood it, all the facilities that want one or two or three people reach out to the central office. They then know which facilities are still looking for people and send the list to the applicants – the list is divided into health care, child and youth services, culture, addiction treatment centers etc. ... Then you go to the appointment there and tell them which area or specific facility you are interested in. Apparently you can also list several... *shrugs* ... and then they forward your application to those facilities. And those facilities then invite you for a job interview and if they want you the central office takes that facility off their list... unless they are looking for more than one person... *grins and draws up her eyebrows* Sounds awfully complicated but the system is actually quite good, isn't it?

Matteo: *listens to her concentrated* *nods slowly* That actually sounds quite nice... *then looks at her* And do they still accept applications or is the deadline already over? *wonders if he might have just found something that he could do* *briefly has to think of his father and if he would approve of it* *but then shakes his head because he actually doesn't really care*

Hanna: *nods and smiles when Matteo says that it sounds quite nice* I thought so, too... *slightly tilts her head when she hears Matteo's next question and grins* They still accept applications. It doesn't start until September... *suddenly gets really excited and grabs Matteo's arm* Aaahhh... don't tell me you're thinking about doing it, as well!? That would be so cool! Then we'd most likely have the seminars together and if we don't understand something we could ask each other... *lets go of him and pulls her backpack closer* Hang on... I have the list here... *laughs quietly* Then you can have a look and give me some advice on what I should do...

Matteo: *laughs and gets wide-eyed when Hanna suddenly gets so excited* Yeah... better than doing nothing, right? *wiggles the arm Hanna has grabbed and cheers exaggeratedly* I'll tell them that I'm gay then we can surely share a room... *laughs* *is somehow happy that she' so happy* *is somehow still a little surprised when people really like spending time with him* *then nods* Sure, I'd love to... tell me the ones that you might be interested in...

Hanna: *laughs when Matteo says that they can surely share a room* Well, it's worth a try... *has now found the list but shakes her head with a laugh at Matteo's request* Nooo – that's almost 10 pages! *hands him the list* You can skim over it if you want... *also peers at it and then says* Well I was considering maybe going to a youth center. But a children's home would also be cool... or something completely different... *skims over the list and shakes her head at some of the things* I think an addiction treatment center would be too much for me... and I don't really think that I'm equipped to work with disabled people...

Matteo: *laughs slightly* Well, logically speaking they shouldn't be able to have anything against it, right? Whereas, the big danger's always only sex. *makes a dramatic noise and grins* *then suddenly has the list in his hands and gapes at it* Youth center doesn't sound too bad to me, either... I'm not really too crazy about working with small children... I could maybe imagine working with disabled people, but I also think that an addiction treatment center would be a bit too much... *has already skimmed over the list while he talked to Hanna* And with which one of those do you have an appointment? *then notices a facility at the bottom of page 3: "Lambda – youth center for LGBT+ youth" and plans to remember the name and to google it later*

Hanna: *nods in agreement to Matteo's opinion* *could also imagine him more working with teenagers or even disabled people than with small children – although.... if she thinks about it a little more* *has to grin a little at the thought* I think you could grow into working with small children... I can really imagine it... you with a little rugrat on your lap... *grins again but then answers his question* Not any of the facilities, yet. Tomorrow I have to tell them to which facilities they should forward my application... maybe I'll just check out several facilities before I make a decision... *reaches for her cup and takes a sip while leaning back over the list*

WhatsApp David/Matteo: David: I'm done at the doctor's and on my way to Laura's apartment. Do you want to come over later or should I come to the flatshare! Say hi to Hanna! I'm looking forward to seeing you! <3

Matteo: *tilts his head slightly and looks at her scrutinizingly* I think you've had too much coffee, that doesn't agree with you... I would be completely in over my head and would probably drop those things all the time... *but then nods when he understands* Ah, okay, I see... *hands the list back to her* I'd suggest that you list every youth center that isn't in the middle of nowhere... um, could you send me your application? I mean... if it's okay... for how much longer can you apply? *then feels his phone vibrate and pulls it from his pocket* Sorry... *reads the message and has to smile automatically* *replies quickly*

WhatsApp David/Matteo: Matteo: I can come over when we're done. And get your laptop ready, we might need it ;) see you later <3

Hanna: *laughs when he talks about the "things" and shakes her head* I don't believe you! You just don't have any experience! I'll bring my cousin over for you to babysit so you can practice... *laughs even more when she sees the look on his face and calms him down* That was a joke! *adds with a smile* But my cousin really is sweet! *then takes back the list and slowly nods at his suggestion* That's not a bad idea. But I think I'll also list child homes... *smiles and immediately nods* Sure, I can do that! No problem! I'll send it to you once I'm back home... *shrugs at his next question* No idea... I don't think they have a real deadline – they even accept latecomers. But if I were you, I'd still hand in the application as soon as possible – otherwise the good facilities will all be gone... *smiles slightly and nods when he apologizes and takes his phone out of his pocket* *sees his smile and thinks that it’s probably David who texted* *waits until he’s finished with his reply and puts the list back in her backpack while she waits* *looks at him with a broad grin when he looks up from his phone and pokes him in the side* Someone should really take a picture of you when you get a message from him or when you look at him... *grins slightly*

WhatsApp David/Matteo: David: Will do... whatever we need it for! See you later :-*

Matteo: *is happy that she is so willing to help and even lets the shock with the cousin slide for it* Thanks. *then nods* Yes, I'll get it ready as quickly as I can... I think I've never written a job application in my entire life... kudos to our great education system... but I'll figure it out. *looks a little indignant when she pokes him* *but then grins* Yeah, yeah, I have a David-smile, I've already been told... *shrugs* All of you have a smile like that, only when it's me it's such a huuuuge deal. *peers at his phone and reads the response but doesn't answer*

Hanna: *laughs quietly* Yeah, really! They should have taught us something like that in school... but you'll figure it out! It's not that difficult. You can also find help online and you can also orient yourself a little on my application. *takes another cookie* *grins at the term "David-smile" and says excitedly* True! You really do! *shakes her head when he says that everyone has a smile like that and laughs quietly* No, my friend! Only you have a smile like that! *mentally goes through all of the couples she knows and knows smiling faces from Mia and Kiki, but also knows annoyed and confused and desperate and embarrassed and indifferent faces when it comes to Carlos and Alex* *then smiles and says* It's great that you're so happy... tell him I said hi later!

Matteo: *laughs when she's so excited about it* *shakes his head when she says that only he has a smile like that* Nonsense... you also have a Jonas-smile, and Jonas has a very intense Hanna-smile, and Carlos, too when it comes to Kiki... *but then has to smile at the thought that they really might be the happiest couple* I will... Oh, and I'm also supposed to tell you he said hi, of course... *takes another cookie* And what else is going on with you? Did your father get on your case when you asked for the car for the holidays?

Hanna: *sighs when he disagrees* Oh Matteo... *slightly shakes her head, but smiles* *isn't going to argue with him because she knows how difficult it is for him to admit it when he's really good at something or did well and also when he simply has or is something special* *hopes that he still knows it, even though he can't admit it* *then grins when he tells her hi from David and nods* Thanks! *leans back again and enjoys the sun that is already a little lower by now* Otherwise I'm really good. *shakes her head when he asks about the car* No, you know him! As long as I'm happy... I'm just supposed to drive careful and only let people drive that are responsible and don't get up to nonsense and stuff like that... *then looks at him again* And what about you? Or both of you? Any news?

Matteo: *grins slightly and nudges her* Oh, Hanna... *also leans back when she does* *but turns his head so that he can look at her* Yeah, that's what he's like our Mr. Jung... *laughs* So neither Alex nor Abdi... *slightly shakes his head at her question* Not really... *thinks about the second consultation that's scheduled for next Monday and that he's somehow nervous, almost more nervous than with the first one* *can't and doesn't want to tell Hanna about it, because that's up to David* David has sent out all his applications and is waiting to hear from the unis... oh, and after our holiday we'll visit his godmother... *looks at her with wide eyes* In David's case that's like getting introduced to the parents... with his godmother it matters, so I have to behave... *laughs slightly*

Hanna: *laughs at the mention of Alex and Abdi and nods* Exactly! *then hears that David has sent out all of his applications* Oh, I'll keep my fingers crossed for him! It's supposed to be really difficult to get in. *then hears the thing with the godmother and grins when Matteo says that he has to behave* Ohhh... that's going to be difficult. *laughs and shakes her head* Nonsense, you're the perfect son-in-law! It'll be fine! *considers for a moment if she's allowed to ask but then simply does it* And his parents? Are you also going to meet them one day? Or does he not have any contact with them? *has finished her coffee and crumples up and plays with the empty cup*

Matteo: *nods* Yes, he was quite nervous and antsy... but Leonie has this cousin, Olli, who is already in film school and he helped him a bit... *laughs and shakes his head* Not really... but I'll manage. *then hesitates for a moment when he hears her next question* *doesn't really know how much he can and should tell her* Well, I don't know... he does have contact with them but it's not like he's crazy about seeing them or for me to meet them... *shrugs slightly* It's not so easy.

Hanna: *hears about Leonie's cousin and is a little surprised* *didn't know that David and Leonie were still in contact* *says a little tunelessly* Oh, that's nice... *and a little more positive* Then I'm sure it'll work out! *then listens to Matteo when he tells her about David's parents and realizes that he understandably doesn’t really want to go into detail* *nods at what he tells her and then says* Well, at least he has his sister and his godmother... I'm sure it would be even more difficult without any family... *then changes the subject because she doesn't want Matteo to feel uncomfortable about the topic of "David's family"* Hey, but Jonas has told me that David has his new ID! Really cool! *laughs quietly* And Jonas was super happy that David texted him...

Matteo: *rather doesn’t comment on the thing with Leonie's cousin* *knows that Leonie and Hanna have declared a constant truce but that they will most likely never be friends again* *then nods* Yes, the two of them are really great for him. *immediately grins when she mentions the ID* Oh, yes, finally! He was really happy! *then laughs as well* Yeah? But that's really cool... I think it really did him some good the other day at our barbecue that Jonas understood him and that he was so interested in him and so on...

Hanna: *is happy for David and says with a smile* Oh yes, I can imagine! It must really suck that whenever you have to show your ID there's a wrong name on it... *nods when Matteo mentions their barbecue* *grins slightly* And it did Jonas some good to hear from him afterwards because he thought that he somehow screwed things up with his comments in the beginning... but that was also really difficult... I felt really sorry for David. *lightly bumps his shoulder* It was really brave of you to tell Jonas! I think that saved the evening for all of us!

Matteo: *nods strongly* Oh, yes, definitely... he tried to avoid it as much as he could... *grimaces slightly* *then shrugs one shoulder* Well, Jonas didn't know about it at that point... *then smiles slightly when she says that it was brave* Well, I just thought that it wasn't fair to you two either that you had to keep your mouths shut for me and that David had to listen to all of that... *bumps her back* Thanks for keeping your mouth shut for me for so long.

Hanna: *smiles and shakes her head* What would have been in it for me if I had told him?! *shakes her head again* No, that was always up to you. That actually would have outed you... outing you as gay as well as outing you that you had a crush. And the latter is often difficult even for heteros. *pulls her legs up onto the bench and crosses them* But, anyways, it's true that everyone has to decide for themself when and to whom to come out.

Matteo: *smiles slightly at her words* *nods* Yep, I agree... I was mostly lucky... even though word about it did get around I was still able to come out to most people myself... *takes the last cookie, breaks it in two and hands Hanna one half*

WhatsApp Laura/Matteo: Laura: Do I have to cook for 1, 2 or 3 people today? :)

*looks at his phone and grins slightly* *quickly answers*

WhatsApp Laura/Matteo: Matteo: 3. Thanks! :)

Hanna: *smiles when Matteo says that he was lucky* *then takes half of the last cookie and grins* Thanks! *bites into it and then sees that Matteo has received a text but can't see the typical David-smile* *comments with a grin* That wasn't David... am I right? *laughs quietly* Your David-smile was missing… *then quickly checks the time* By the way, I have to get going soon. Jonas and I wanted to watch a movie and order pizza…

Matteo: *laughs when she says that it wasn't David* No, that wasn't David... that was Laura asking whether I would join them for dinner... *then nods* And I have to start writing my application... *grins at her* We have to do this again... a coffee and cookie meeting in the park *then gets up and hugs her* Say hi to Jonas from me... and don't let yourself be talked into a Star Wars movie, they're all boring.

Hanna: *grins at Matteo's answer* It's also nice if you don't have to cook, yourself... *then nods at his comment about the application* Good that you mention it! I'll send you mine later. If you haven't received it in an hour then please remind me again... *zips up her backpack, takes the empty packet of cookies and the coffee-2-go cups to throw them into the trash can* *smiles at his suggestion* Yes, I'd really like that! *then also hugs him goodbye* Bye, and say hi to David! *shakes her head when he mentions Star Wars* No, no, don't worry! I'll pick... *grins, puts the backpack and the trash in the basket on her bike, gets on the bike, waves at Matteo again, and then cycles off*

Matteo: *waves after Hanna and then walks out of the park slowly* *briefly considers if it's worth making a detour to the flatshare to get his bike* *but then decides against it and walks toward David's* *plugs his headphones into his phone and turns on music* *sends David a text*

WhatsApp David/Matteo: Matteo: On my way. From the park. To you. On foot. You can expect me in approximately 1-2 hours ;)

(next play)

#Druck #druck og #matteo florenzi #david schreibner #davenzi #davenzi plays

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atelier-dayz · 4 years

Note

⭐star⭐

Beginning of chapter 4 :)

The sandstorm has passed when Jango wakes from his nap. He figures it’s a good time as any to do another patrol around their area, not to mention to stretch his legs. After refilling his water flask, he exits the ship, discovering the ramp has already been lowered.

He soon finds out why when he spots Kenobi in the shadow cast by the ship, seated cross-legged with the hood of his robe pulled up to hide his face from the glare of the sun. He supposes Kenobi is meditating, but he has to squash the instinctual unease he feels at the sight. There is no wind, and yet the edges of Kenobi’s robe and sleeves waft softly as if there is. Swirls of sand in distinct tendrils surround him, orbiting lazily. It’s strange, yet beautiful, yet terrifying. It’s such a casual display of a power Jango will never understand, it makes his gut want to squirm.

One of my favorite scenes that I’ve written!! I also want to draw this. Or someone to do it for me LOL I talked about this in an old ask so won’t ramble on here. <3

Jango turns from the sight, takes a deep breath in and out, and puts it out of his mind. He sets off to begin his patrol.

The landscape has changed, the sandstorm depositing new dunes where there had been none and flattening out other areas. There is, however, still no signs of life, just endless expanses of sand. Mos Espa remains barely visible in the distance, unchanged. He wonders about Jinn's progress on getting their parts.

He returns to the ship to see Kenobi has emerged from meditation. He has remained seated, but has his hands buried in the sand on either side of him, a bemused quirk to his lips.

“What is it?” Jango asks.

Kenobi blinks and looks up at him, shaking his hands free of sand.

“This planet has an...interesting Force presence. Old and...almost feral, I suppose.”

There’s no way Tatooine doesn’t have a unique Force presence. The planet where Anakin, The Force Baby, was born. The planet where Obi-wan chose to live for all those years. The planet where Luke grew up. Also I love the desert, and have a healthy respect for the...power it holds. ~u~

“...right.” Jango has nothing to say to that.

Kenobi gives him a wry smile before getting to his feet.

“Nothing alarming, just interesting,” he says. He brushes off the sand he’s collected on his leggings. “I am a little worried though that we’ve disillusioned Padmé, and by extension the Queen, about the Senate.”

Jango grunts. “Better now than later,” he says. “The Queen can think of contingency plans then, instead of just relying on the Senate.” He pauses, then asks, “Did she...pass any judgments?”

Kenobi hums, looking off into the distance with a thoughtful expression.

“She was horrified, of course. But I hope she understands better that Jedi are just like any other sentient being. We make mistakes, just like anyone else does. Unfortunately, with the power that we have, those mistakes come at terrible costs.” He turns to look at Jango. “It’s why we begin our learning when we are children. It’s why we make the sacrifices that we do and take the vows that we do.”

Lumi and others have said this in way better terms than me, but Jedi younglings are babies with incredible psychic powers. Jedi are individuals with psychic powers. Control is important if you don’t want a building coming down on you and people getting hurt.

“How early do you start training?”

“We start learning the Code and our philosophy as early as we can understand it, through stories and songs. We start learning to control the Force through games," Kenobi says. "Coincidentally, we start combat training, among other things, at five years old.”

“Hm.” Coincidentally, because Mandalorians also begin training children when they reach five. Before then, they are taught the Resol'nare and other aspects of being Mando’ade. Apparently, similar to the jetiise. Jango doesn’t know how he should feel about that.

He saves the thought for later, as Kenobi sends him a knowing look.

I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, I love the parallels between Jedi and Mando’ade. And I will cram in as many parallels between them as I can because I LOVE.

“And did you tell her who I was?” Jango asks. He had not thought Kenobi would, but wants to check regardless.

“No,” Kenobi replies, looking baffled at even the thought of it. “It’s not my right. It’s your decision if or when you tell her.”

“Fair enough,” he says.

“...while you were resting, my master commed with news,” Kenobi says, though he strangely doesn’t look too pleased.

“And?”

“Do you know about the Boonta Eve?”

“Yes…oh.” Jango puts two and two together. “He’s betting on a podrace to get us our parts?”

“The local boy he befriended has offered to enter the race on our behalf,” Kenobi says. “Master Qui-gon has submitted our ship in a gamble with the junk shop’s owner. If the boy wins the race, the owner gets the winnings and we get the parts. If he loses, we lose the ship.” He frowns, clearly not approving of the plan.

Jango curses under his breath.

“Is your master mad?” he hisses. “He’s staking everything on a local boy winning a podrace? Not just that, but one of the biggest podraces in the galaxy?”

“He seems to have confidence that the plan will work, but yes, I understand that it seems quite...ambitious,” Kenobi says. He sighs the tired sigh of the long-suffering. It seems like his master is dini’la even by jetii standards.

Okay, like we know Anakin wins, but from the perspective of the characters, Qui-gon placing everything they had (the ship, their only transport off the planet) on the chance that this random 9 or 10 years old boy they’d only just met, who has never completed a race, will come in first place in the podrace is BONKERS.

Jango wonders how long Kenobi has had to put up with Jinn’s madness -- and if Jinn is either more or less infuriating to other jetiise than to non-Force-sensitives.

“Do you think it will work?” Jango asks.

“While I have...misgivings, I must trust in the Force. My master thinks this boy will win the race, so I must have faith that is the case.”

Jango grunts. Kriffing mad jetiise. He tells himself that either way, they are stranded without the parts. They’re also a resourceful group of people; they’d figure something out if they need to.

He and Kenobi head back into the ship, closing up the ramp behind them.

“Have you ever seen podracing?” Jango asks purely out of curiosity.

Kenobi nods. “On Malastare,” he says. “I’m grateful my master didn’t decide to hop into a podracer himself. Though I suppose he’s much too tall for it.”

Jango arches a brow at him. “He would have done it if he wasn’t?”

“Rumor has it, my master used to drag race in his youth. One of the many things that drove his master spare, I heard.”

I vaguely remember Qui-gon drag racing as a thing in a few fics I read during one of my fic binges and loved the idea so definitely had to include it.

“Drag racing? You jetiise?”

“We have the reflexes for it of course, but it’s highly frowned upon for obvious reasons. I can neither confirm nor deny that he did, but I would not have been surprised.”

Jango tries to imagine a younger Jinn drag racing, and yes, alright, it might be plausible.

“And what does your...Council think of it?” Jango asks. “He sounds like quite a rule breaker.”

“Yes, he has a reputation,” Kenobi admits.

“What about you? Do you have a reputation?” Jango is genuinely curious.

Kenobi grimaces. “Probably nothing good, I imagine,” he says.

Jango frowns, feeling doubtful that’s the case. “Because of Jinn?”

“...in part…” Kenobi hedges, clearly not wanting to discuss it. Jango doesn’t press.

Obi has, in fact, a good reputation with the Council. He just thinks he doesn’t because he’s Obi. :< I headcanon that with all the troubles he’s had in his initiate years, and then with Qui-gon re: Melida/Daan, leaving the Order, etc, he tries to act more by the book, especially with the way Qui-gon butts heads with the Council.

aaand /END LOL

#pretzel-log1c #miya replies #mand'alor and his jetii #director's cut meme

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kayliemusing · 3 years

Text

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? - If you're talking about aliens or ghosts, yes lol

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? - 3. I can manage but sometimes I get unnerved, especially if I'm alone in the dark outside

3. The person you would never want to meet? - Anyone who could hurt me

4. What is your favorite word? - Wonderstruck. I also like the word 'elegance' bc I like the way it sounds.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? - cherry blossom tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? - 'Ew'

7. What shirt are you wearing? - I'm wearing a blue sweater

8. What do you label yourself as? - A few things: a romantic, writer, daydreamer, perfectionist, etc

9. Bright room or dark room? - Bright

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? - Heading to bed

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? - I think I liked being seventeen, but I can't really remember

12. Who told you they loved you last? - My mom probably lol

13. Your worst enemy? - My sister's abusive ex

14. What is your current desktop picture? - A forest

15. Do you like someone? - No one in my real life, but I've developed a sudden crush on Evan Peters in the last 24 hrs lmao

16. The last song you listened to? - The Last Great American Dynasty by Taylor Swift, I think

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? - My sister's ex

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? - My sister's ex

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? - Idk if I'd have a slave tbh lol

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) - My hair, I guess

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? - I'd probably look like myself, but maybe taller and obviously more masculine. I don't know what I'd do. I don't think I'd be a writer, because maybe my experience would be different. So...not sure.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? - This is weird and if anyone asks me, I'll deny it, but I can make stomach grumbling noises without opening my mouth. Honestly not hard to do, but I think I'm really good at it lmao

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? - I don't really have a unique fear. I think what I'm afraid of is normal. I'm super afraid of failure, loss, and getting older bc I feel like growing old comes with loss. Terrified of spiders and most bugs. Deep water bc I can't swim well. So...Pretty basic I think.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. - A standard PB and J.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? - I'd probably just take it to the bank and put it in my bank account, which would most likely end up going towards makeup, books, skincare or clothes.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? - Maybe NYC? Or totally the opposite and going somewhere super quiet and beautiful, like a countryside in England or France lol.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? - I feel like an angel wouldn't offer me that, but maybe a dessert wine. I'm not really a fan of alcohol so Idk what else I'd choose lol.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? - Everyone listens and loves Taylor Swift, if not, you're going to jail

29. What is your favorite expletive? - 'bitch' I think lol

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? - My laptop

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? - Probably an embarrassing moment. I would want to erase traumas but then I feel like that would actually end up messing everything up. i.e., would lead to confusion or misunderstandings about love, etc.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! - Interesting. I'm not sure what the question is, but if I could move anywhere else in the world, I'd probably move to a big city like NYC, Vancouver, or LA OR I'd go the opposite and move to a super cozy cottage in a countryside somewhere.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? - My dad

34. What was your last dream about? - Last night I had this bizarre dream that I was camping with Matthias from YouTube and he was being super mean to me lmao. Then all of a sudden I was in Calgary with my sister and we were just like wandering around.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? - I feel like you're asking if I'm a good person, to which, I think yes.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? - No

37. Have you ever built a snowman? - Yes

38. What is the color of your socks? - I'm not wearing any, but they're usually white or black.

39. What type of music do you like? - Pop, Alternative/alternative pop, folk, country, country-pop, some 80s stuff, acoustic, etc. I span through a few genres, but I think I like something with a catchy melody and good songwriting.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? - Sunrises

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? - Vanilla, bc i'm basic

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) -I don't watch football oops

43. Do you have any scars? - A few. Mostly acne scars rip, but also a big scar on my elbow from when I fell off my bike when I was a kid. I have a few chickenpox scars on my forehead that like to peak out every now and again too.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? - I already graduated High School, but I just applied to college so the plan is to be a Copy Editor and a novelist on the side.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? - That I had a flat stomach

46. Are you reliable? - Tbh no. I think I'm pretty flaky :/

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? - How did it turn out?

48. Do you hold grudges? - Yes, unfortunately

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? - Maybe like a bird and a chinchilla or a fox or something so it would be like this flying fox thing. Idk. I saw a fantasy drawing on pinterest of a bird/something-else and it was super cute.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? - I don't know actually lol

51. Are you a good liar? - No, because I get super nervous and can't make eye contact or I start smiling. Even worse, sometimes it's both.

52. How long could you go without talking? - I'm pretty quiet, so a long time. Maybe a day, but not two days lol.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? - I got a perm when I was in the sixth grade and everyone laughed at me so.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? - Yes

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? - Not well, but sometimes I like to butcher a British and Australian accent. Usually happens when I'm alone which is worse.

56. What do you like on your toast? - Usually I'll just put margarine on it or jam. If I feel like being fancy, I'll put brown sugar and cinnamon on it.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? - I probably doodled some hearts not too long ago

58. What would be you dream car? - Probably a red 1960-70s chevy convertible.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. - I talk to myself in the shower a lot which is weird but i'm just kinda processing my thoughts out loud lmao. Sometimes I'll sing or hum to myself.

60. Do you believe in aliens? - That would be a hard no.

61. Do you often read your horoscope? - No, unless it's in a fun meme like the signs as tv shows or something

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? - I have never thought about this before tbh. Maybe S? or R? or C? Idk

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? - Dragons

64. What do you think about babies? - Cute

#survey

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sal2724 · 4 years

Text

IMPORTANCE OF READING

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, the man who never reads lives only once. ~ George R.R. Martin”

Reading is a basic tool in the living of a GOOD LIFE. The more you read the more things you know. The more that you learn the more places you’ll go. I always used to wonder why some people are creative and some are not. But then when I searched about it every research said that reading is a great tool to success. It is said that Every reader may not be a leader but every leader is a great reader.

Reading is an exercise for the mind. It helps kids calm down and relax, opening doors of new knowledge to enlighten their minds. Kids who read grow up to have better cognitive skills. Reading is good for everyone, not only children or young adults.

Why reading is important for all age groups?

1.It helps you discover yourself

Every good book opens up new dimensions of thoughts for the reader. When you read a book, you somehow try to connect the events, emotions, experiences and characters in the books with yourself. This not only keeps you engrossed into the book but it also makes you realize how you would react and feel to those situations that have not yet occurred in your life.

It helps you broaden your dimension of likes and dislikes and things that would please you. So with every page that you read, you have a chance to discover a new part of yourself!

2. Imparts valuable lessons from years of experiences

Books are not written in a day. For an Author, it takes a lot of hard work, understanding, experiences, knowledge and in many cases lots of pain to come up with a single book. But we as a reader get to read them in just weeks or days thereby living years of experiences in considerably less time.

3. It improves your Focus and Concentration

The Internet has definitely revolutionized our world. But there’s a huge drawback too. For many of us, a large part of our day is spent surfing, chatting, watching videos, reading unnecessary memes and articles online. No wonder people are growing more impatient and losing focus.

However, reading books is one of those constructive habits that actually help us improve our concentration power. It helps us to train our brain to focus our attention and live in the present.

4. Reading improves your emotional health

Books are full of emotions. Sometimes they will make you cry with every turning page and sometimes they will just keep you smiling. It can fill you with anger when the antagonist of the story succeeds in his evil plan, but again it can give you immense pleasure to see your hero achieving his goal.

Books can make us happy, sad, jealous, loved, betrayed and so on! Books are thus an amalgamation of different mixed emotions that ultimately help us grow emotionally!

5. Importance of Reading in memory enhancement

There are a lot of things that we need to remember while reading a book. Name of the characters and their features, name of the places, plots and sub-plots, the sequence of events, important conversations etc. are some of the key information we need to keep in mind while reading. And the ability to retain these information keeps improving with the number of books that you read.

As your brain learns to remember the information from the story-line, it also becomes better at remembering other things of your life. So by reading books, you are also indirectly training your brain in improving your memory.

6. It’s a great source of motivation Life is tricky.

Sometimes there are moments in our life when we feel down and discouraged. We may lose our hope and interest in life and just want to give up. Well, in times like this, sometimes all we need is a little motivation, little push in the right direction.

Reading a good inspirational book during such period can change our way of thinking and give us hope and motivation. Books are no doubt a huge source of motivation. We can derive great inspirations from them and transform our lives positively.

7. It expands your knowledge and makes you smarter

Books are a very rich source of information. With every book you read, you get to learn new things. The more you read, the more you know about different people, their behavior and experiences, different places, different cultures and facts that otherwise you would not have known.

Reading books somehow or the other adds depth to your knowledge base. With your increasing knowledge, you become capable of making better decisions and choices in life. You become aware of your surroundings and tend to have an open mind.

With so many new things learned, people who read, obviously tend to be smarter than people who don’t!

8. Broadens your Imagination and enhances your creativity

“It was a bright cold day on April, and the clocks were striking thirteen”. This is the famous opening line of the novel 1984 by George Orwell.

How do you interpret this line?

In reality, we hardly experience conditions like this. Standard Striking Clock strikes a maximum twelve times. Similarly, we rarely have a day both bright and cold simultaneously. However, George Orwell tries to paint the gloomy yet hopeful condition of life by some imaginative references. The interpretation can vary from person to person though.

This is the beauty of books. It makes you imagine things beyond possibility – things that would not come to our mind normally. Books give you a lot to think about. They also give you the opportunity to have your own perspectives and imaginations into play!

Apart from this, different creative characters, plots, and approaches trigger your creativity as well. You become both creative and imaginative!

There are also many books on creativity that can particularly shape and boost your creative thinking.

9. It makes you more empathic

Another reason why reading is important is because it makes you empathic. Being empathic means being able to understand and share the feelings of others. Books connect you with their characters and plots. You yourself become a part of the book and feel what the characters are supposed to feel. You understand their pain and grievances.

Books also somehow make you feel connected with the authors. You are constantly in some sort of conversation with the book. When you are attentive to reading books, you are actually listening to what the book has to say to you. This makes you a good listener. So reading books develop empathy and thus help you to understand what others feel under different circumstances.

10. Reduces stress and helps you sleep better

Reading is one of the best ways to relax your mind. According to a

Research by University of Sussex

Reading for even six minutes can reduce your stress levels by as high as 68 percent!

Psychologists believe that this is probably because when we are lost in a book, our mind is focused on reading and that little distraction from the real world and our problems into a literary world eases the tensions in muscles and heart.

So the ultimate way of relaxing your mind is by losing yourself in a book! Read more and you will realize yourself that your stress level becomes significantly low with time.

Reading has a pretty positive impact on another important aspect of our life – a good night sleep! Reading books calms your mind and helps you sleep better.

However, avoid reading thrillers, horror, and mystery or suspense genre books before going to bed. If you are so lost in such books, you might end up staying awake instead. So, better read some calming, inspirational books that would give you positive vibes without making you impatient.

11. Importance of Reading in enhancing your critical and analytical thinking

While reading, a lot of information are being processed in our brain simultaneously. It opens up many different perspectives for your brain to comprehend. If you are reading a mystery or suspense book, your brain constantly tries to guess certain outcomes and events. It also has to relate one event to the other to make sense in the story. All this, in turn, sharpens our mind and enhances our critical and analytical thinking skills.

12. It gives you joy and pleasure

One basic reason why we read is simply because we enjoy reading. Reading brings joy and happiness in our life. We don’t have to depend on someone else to be happy and pleased. It’s true that sometimes reading can be little challenging or even boring, but such conditions are very rare if you know your taste and choose your books accordingly.

13. It makes you humble

Reading books not only enlighten you with knowledge, but it also makes you realize how much you do not know about the world. With each book teaching you something new, you can’t help but think how limited your knowledge is.

You read a book because you know it will add some new pieces of information in your mind which was so far unknown to you. However, it definitely does not mean you are not smart. It simply shows that you have accepted the truth that what you know is not everything.

There are so many things you can learn and this would not be possible unless you are humble enough to accept this truth!

14. Improves your vocabulary, language command, and communication skills

If you are a reader, you probably know the importance of reading in enhancing your vocabulary. Reading books is one of the best ways to improve your vocabulary.

Moreover, the conversations in the books also help you to strengthen your command over the language. Your sentence formation becomes quick, better and qualitative. You rarely get stuck for lack of words.

Once you have a richer vocabulary and controlled command over the language, your communication skills automatically become better.

15. Importance of reading in improving your brain functions

Books has tremendous power. It can shape our lives for good. It can also significantly improve our brain functions!

16. Being lonely will not bother you much

If you are a book lover, you are never really alone! You can always have a friend in the form of a book. And there’s reason why book lovers consider books to be their best friends. Books don’t complain, neither do they have any demands. They just be with you no matter what. You can carry them wherever you want and read them whenever you want provided you make time for reading.

17. It makes you a better person

One of the most significant importance of reading is that it helps you grow as a person. As mentioned above, reading makes you empathic and humble.

You learn about the hardships in life from experiences of others. You will learn to understand people and be kind and gentle. You will have a better emotional health. Your increased knowledge can also be useful for other people who may look up to you for advice and suggestions. With all this, you are bound to become a better human being!

SO YEAH YOU GUYS ARE AT THE END OF MY BLOG, SO IT MAKES YOU A VERY GOOD READER. CONGRATS. DO READ MY OTHER BLOGS TOO!!!

#writer #writers #reader #importance of reading #good reader is a good leader #leadership #blog #read me #reading is a great habit #red hairs #cute dog #blvm

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madara-fate · 4 years

Note

Hey, Maddie! I appreciate your blog a lot, but this is the first time I'm sending an ask to you. The reason of my ask i's abt a thing that is bothering me a lot: the "war" among Skr and Ssk fans between the SS fandom. How can I start that? Okay, after years of the heavy angst inherent of the ship, the hateful content of the ASSes and the almost 6 years of cannon, I never expected to see the fans bashing each others for like Ssk or Skr more. Cont (1)

Cont (2) But I'm noticing that there are more Ssk fans complaining abt the "awful" side of the SS fandom than Skr fans, so I thought it would be good to show how the things aren't not so simple. To see Skr more popular among SS shippers nowadays is a big surprise for me. I'm of the time when Skr was treated as nothing but an object that exists only for Ssk's pleasure and joy (sex, children and love). Cont...

Cont (3)I may was rude with my words and I feel sorry, I don't want to hurt others Ssk's fans feelings, but as a huge Skr fan, I got a bit upset in how some Ssk stans are playing victims of this whole situation. Look, there are a lot of people who call themselves "skr fans" and really hates Ssk, we can see it more clearly comes from KS/NS fandom, but there are a lot of skr hate from Ssk fandom too. Cont...

Cont (4) And the reasons they hates Skr is even worse like "She has no big boobs", "Ssk should make a lot of strong babies with Karin/Hinata/Ino, bc Skr comes with a normal family, so she's trash", "she's a obsessive bitch". Some Ssk fans are so cruel that like projects a distorted image of Ssk being evil (only with skr) and got pleasure a lot from that. Even though these things harms Ssk's character as well, I rarely see Ssk stans complains abt that. Cont...

Cont (5) It seems like Ssk became treated like the way Skr was always been treated by many people in the ss fandom hurts some Ssk's fans feelings. But, as a huge fan of both(together and individually), it hurt me 10 times more. I see the main problem in the way many people who like SS just because think they are hot together or are biased by the fanfictions standards(that in most cases are pure ooc),not because their cannon story. Cont...

Cont (6) I don't mind if they like them only bc of these reasons, but I got rly upset when they try to put fanon stuff into cannon stuff. In the middle of all that, as I always talked with my friends, it's indispensable to understand the character as a whole, not thinking abt romance. And I think I find another problem: some people follow some series just bc of ship. Again, I have no problem with it, I made it a lot of time before. Cont...

Cont (7) But these people need to understand that in a Shounen manga like Naruto, the main focus isn't Ssk and Skr living a sweet romance and, tbh, the obsession with romance make many fans lost a lot of good content, even between SS. For ex, in the chapter 181, Sakura say to Sasuke that "he always hated her". Cont...

Cont (8) OMG, it hurted me a lot, bc this same guy was dispose to die to save her from Gaara, he associates her with his dead family two times in part 1 and hear her talk as if him don't care about her probably was awful. But at the same time, we can see how much Skr feelings changed (for better). Cont...

Cont (9) Even in that moment with 12 yrs, she doesn't want make him hers, she knew him deeply(he isn't her old childish fantasies… He is much better than that, but also full of pain…)and saw how lonely and broke he was, but also saw the good things inside him. Even in that time, she didn't want see him become that man we saw in the Iron Land. Cont...

Cont(10) Meanwhile some people prefer to reduce the whole context in "Sasuke been an idiot once again", the true fans can see the connection between them. The fact that they know each other so well always touch my heart. And abt MultiSaku and Ssk hate, I have been analyzing how many of these "multisaku" fans are only self-insert. Cont...

Cont (11) They like imagine themselves involved in some fetishism like "student and teacher", "old man and young woman", etc. It is why I would like some Ssk stans be careful when they claim that "SS fandom only cares abt skr", it isn't true at all. Many so called "fans" even don't know the cannon Sakura. Cont...

Cont (12) It is pretty funny, look: we know that Skr(as all other Naruto women) could be much more active in battle if Kishimoto himself isn't insecure of write women as he write abt men, but there are features that Skr has in cannon and some fans put them in fanfictions like if it was something new. XD And abt multisaku shippers hate on Sasuke, I got so tired of it. Cont...

Cont (13)They use the moments where she looks sad for Ssk's bad actions and contrast it with Nrt makes her smile, etc. There are also the idea of a man like Lee is much better than Ssk bc he never was afraid of show his feelings for her. Seeing by this perspective, we can almost forget that Ssk isn't the badboy who gets pleasure from Skr's pain, he is a survivor of the biggest genocide of the shinobi world. Cont...

Cont (14)One of the most interesting thing I love abt SS is how they aren't just the stereotype of "bad boy x good girl/fangirl", in fact they are a deconstruction of that and it could be even better if Kishimoto wasn't so shy or if these two belonged to a seinen manga. And speaking by skr side, I also noticed that most men who has no "afraid of showing their emotions to her" are just her fanboys. Cont...

Cont(15) They think she's pretty and want to be with her. They don't know she deeply for treat her like a queen as some people argue. It's like a female version of Ssk. XD And Maddie, I've reading your texts and I also agree that Skr don't want to be treated like this. What she wanted was to be acknowledged as a full human being/shinobi. Skr had a big inferiority/ superiority complex and to be in the same team with Ssk and Nrt made it even worse than her time with Ino. Cont...

Cont(16)Although this aspect didn't received much attention from the author like her teammates issues, it was still there and it is the one of the roots of her sadness, not the simple fact of Ssk's existence as many haters and KS/NS shippers say. And speaking abt that, one of the most enjoyable things I found in SS is that Ssk never saw her in a idealized way(like "that pretty, perfect girl"). Cont...

Cont (17) He saw her flaws and told her abt them face to face (and it made her improve her behavior), but he also showed sensibility to see her heart (when he cheered her up in front many people or the way he compared skr with his family). Cont...

Cont (18) All of this is away better than the idealized "queen" worship, bc he is seeing her heart and not the surface. I also read an excellent analysis abt how Ssk see skr as the same way he saw Itachi (like as if her was a bother to him, which is untrue) and it could help more people understand him. Cont...

Cont (end) To finish this long ask, there are a lot of fake ss fan in the fandom of both sides and it isn't a new thing, but we, the real fans, will overcome that issues. Our ship is already cannon and they are in the new phase, some people need to grow up with them, too.

To describe that as simply a “long” ask is one hell of an understatement Anon, holy fuck. I usually include screenshots of the ask if it spans more than one part but I wasn't gonna crop and edit 18 different screenshots, lol; Copy and paste will have to do in this case.

Now having said that, yes I agree with the basic gist of what you said ^_^

#Sasuke Uchiha #Sakura Haruno #sasusaku

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ts1989fanatic · 5 years

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TS7 is finally here!

If you’re like me or any of the millions of Swifties out there, the arrival of this next era is just as exciting as a brand-new bookshelf full of reads you get to experience for the first time.

After listening to the album on repeat all weekend, I decided to celebrate Lover with a book roundup inspired by each of the songs (since it’s the only thing I’ll be listening to for the foreseeable future, don’t @ me.).

ts1989fanatic an interesting perspective well written obviously a swiftie.

1. “I Forgot That You Existed” (Best Friends Forever, by Jennifer Weiner)

You heard it from Taylor first: indifference is the new vengeance. This solid album-opener is upbeat and poppy, a nice contrast with the lyrics about the (final?) end of a broken relationship, friendship (or feud), when you actually forget that the person you once had so much ire for still lives. She transitions from “Your name on my lips, tongue-tied/Free rent, living in my mind” to “forgot that you existed/and I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t” with ease. But of course, insisting that you forget someone existed while singing about them would introduce interesting tension into any relationship. It reminded me of Jennifer Weiner’s Best Friends Forever, about what happens when a former friend shows up on your doorstep in a crisis, insisting you’re the only one who can help them out of a tight spot (when you’d rather do anything but).

2. “Cruel Summer” (Do You Want to Start a Scandal, by Tessa Dare)

Lyrically and sonically, this is one of my favorites on the entire album (it’s so good it should have been a single!) It’s got an Out of the Woods meets Getaway Car vibe in terms of the melody. Wistful, a bit haunting, but also a total bop. “So cut the headlights, summer’s a knife/I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone” describes a low point in Swift’s life (Summer 2016, ugh), juxtaposed with the high of discovering new love. There are so many books I could have picked for this, but “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you” reminded me of the Regency romance trope where the heroine has a secret, or finds herself in a situation where her reputation is at stake, but is still tempted by a handsome rogue who might lead her into temptation and true love. (Sound a bit familiar?) Do You Want to Start a Scandal by Tessa Dare feels like the perfect accompaniment to this song about a woman who must prove her innocence in the face of a sullied reputation or be forced to marry a man she doesn’t think she could ever love.

3. “Lover” (Roomies, by Christina Lauren)

The title track (and the one I’ve been singing in the shower for days) is a swoony daydream of a couple in complete harmony, as Swift spins wedding vow-like lyrics such as “With every guitar string scar on my hand/I take this magnetic force of a man to be my…lover/My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue/all’s well that end’s well to end up with you/swear to be overdramatic and true/to my…lover.” But Swift is all about balance in her songs, so imagery of keeping up the Christmas lights in “our place” is juxtaposed with suspicion that “everyone who sees you wants you.” This track reminded me of Roomies by Christina Lauren, with its musician main character and the trope of having to share a space while inevitably falling in love.

4. “The Man” (The Whisper Network, by Chandler Baker)

The double-standards between men and women have been explored in songs and novels since both art forms existed. Swift has already confronted the media’s perception of her as a victim, as a girl who goes on too many dates but can’t make them stay, etc. But in “The Man”, she more directly confronts how different she’d be treated if she were the opposite gender. How could I not think of the new thriller The Whisper Network, about a group of women who come forward about their male boss’ behavior of harassment in the workplace. Instead of continuing to suffer in silence, they tell the truth, resulting in an explosive conflict. I sort of saw the ending coming, but was very glad I was right.

5. “The Archer” (Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen)

Another slower, lyric-driven track on the album with gut-punching truths about love, friendship, and holding on to the one who has your heart. “The Archer” is associated with being a Sagittarius (which Swift is), but also her dynamic with the world. “Who could ever leave me, darling?/But who could stay?” is self-aware in a new way for Swift, as is “I never grew up, it’s getting so old” or “I see right through me.” This is one of my favorite tracks on the album, as Swift confronts her cultivated image as both archer and prey of fame and of love. Listening to the rising energy of the track as it builds to a anti-fairy-tale crescendo plus Swift’s lyrics made me think of Pride and Prejudice: Elizabeth Bennet is forced to acknowledge how her own prejudices have made it difficult for others to love her, but that she is deserving of an imperfect love. (And how could “All of my enemies started out friends” not remind you of awful Mr. Wickham?)

6. “I Think He Knows” (The Duke and I, by Julia Quinn)

After a slower song, this heats things up a bit, describing the early sizzle of a relationship before it even starts. For an entire album that sings the praises of a man, I liked the moment in the pre-chorus where she says “He’s so obsessed with me, and boy, I understand.” Own your worth, girl! The bridge was my favorite part of this song (as it often is with Swift; girl knows how to bridge) as it played with tempo and rhyme. “Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh/We can follow the sparks, I’ll drive.” Swift explores the tension of the moment between seeing someone and initiating contact—songs like these always sting with a bit of danger, too, because the man knows she wants him but neither of them say anything in public about it. She’s whispering in the dark, which gives me serious secret romance vibes. The Duke and I by Julia Quinn is about Simon, who is planning to propose to his BFF’s sister even though he doesn’t actually love her. It’s an arrangement that suits them both, but before they both know it, Daphne is giving Simon serious “I Think he Knows” vibes.

7. “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” (The Cheerleaders, by Kara Thomas)

If you don’t get the oft-spoken adage that “politics is like high-school,” this song takes the metaphor to the next level. Subtly political but 100% heartbreaking, Swift reimagines the political sphere (and her role in it) as a high school romance, moving from “American glory, faded before me,” painting the democratic 2016 election loss as a ripped-up prom dress (from Miss Americana, who assumed she would win.) Oozing drama and storytelling the way only Swift can, I love the moody elements of the brokenhearted girl contrasted with the new riff on a cheerleading chant (Go Fight Win!). This song is about mourning loss and then finding the strength to say “I know we’re going to win,” but it’s haunting melody and lyrics led me to pick a Cheerleader-inspired thriller. The Cheerleaders is about a string of cheerleaders murdered in a small town five years ago… and just when everyone thinks it’s time to move on, one girl becomes the center of a mystery that never truly died.

8. “Paper Rings” (The Royal We, by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan)

I’m on my fourth listen of the album and this might be my favorite track on it (though that changes minute by minute, with an album as dynamic as this—just to further accentuate the point, by the time of posting this piece, my new favorite might be I Think He Knows?). It’s a totally retro, ’60s style song—a totally fresh sound for Swift, and one that fits perfectly with her new aesthetic. (Makes me wonder why this wasn’t one of the singles released before the record.) It is a gold-mine for Swiftian lyricism, with so many gems I can’t possibly call them all out, and it moves so fast (like a good read) that you both want to cascade over them and pause to hear each line at least 5x before it passes you by. It’s an unabashed love song, relishing in the joy of knowing you’re with the one you love so much that “I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings”. The line that stuck out the most was “I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this,” which made me think of when Bex Porter goes to Oxford in The Royal We and, completely by accident, falls in love with the heir to the throne.

9. “Cornelia Street” (Passion on Park Avenue, by Lauren Layne)

“Cornelia Street” is sort of the antithesis to I Think He knows. It’s about remembering the early days of a new relationship (“We were a fresh page on the desk/filling in the blanks as we go”) and being more than willing to give up all the good that comes with fresh starts in order to settle into something real. It aches with melancholy, because any time we give something up should be a little sad—but it brims with hope and Swift’s trademarked optimism about love. “I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends/I’d never walk Cornelia Street again/ That’s the kinda heartbreak time could never mend.” I had to pick an NYC-set story for this, like Lauren Layne’s Passion on Park Avenue. The city is another character in the romance between a successful jewelry-business owner and the son of the woman her mother used to work for.

10. “Death By a Thousand Cuts” (Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better, by Madisen Kuhn)

Inspired by the Netflix movie Something Great, this is one of the few sad songs on the record, about a girl going through a breakup who can’t help but linger in happier memories. (For the record: “I dress to kill my time” is genius, as are so many of these lyrics.) Only Swift is so good at pairing such devastating messaging with a pop beat you can’t help but want to sing. This song was the hardest one to pick a book for (especially because it’s already inspired by a movie) so I decided to go with a poetry collection! Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better is all about the aches and sun rays of growing up, told in a staggeringly relatable voice that will make you want to curl up on the couch and cry your eyes out.

11. “London Boy” (Red, White and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston)

This is 100% about Joe Alwyn, but also… Taylor dated at least two Brits that we know of before him, so this song is also about what we already knew (“the rumors are true”): she has a penchant for London Boys. Essentially a road map of her favorite places in the city, this indulgent ditty trades “Tennessee Whiskey” for “A gray sky, a rainy cab ride” and of course, her man by her side. Red, White, and Royal Blue is the perfect pick for this song, about two boys who fall in love (after a rough start where they were almost enemies) amidst those gray, rainy skies… but one of them happens to be the son of an American President, and the other, the current Prince of England.

12. “Soon You’ll Get Better (feat. Dixie Chicks)” (Swamplandia! by Karen Russell)

Of all the songs on the album, this one gave me the most vintage Swift vibes. There’s no denying that she is an astonishingly talented songwriter, especially when you listen to what is essentially her greatest fear laid bare on this track with just a bit of guitar and the Dixie Chicks harmonizing in the background. Here, the story shines: Swift’s mother has been sick for a number of years, and while they’ve mostly kept the details of that battle private, this is the most vulnerable moment of love for her mother on an album mostly about finding true love. “Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you/Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus, too.” A friend of mine recently lost their mother just after getting married, and it made me marvel at how life often delivers us highs and lows to grapple with simultaneously. While all of this was going on—Kanye and Kim, Joe and London, another world tour, another album—in the background, Swift has been terrified of losing her mother. This song made me think of Swamplandia!, a novel about a young girl living in a gator-wrestling theme park where her mother used to be the main event, until she passed away. Now, in the wake of her death, the girl and her siblings must grapple with their mother’s legacy as a competing business rises up to swallow the success she built on the swamp.

13. “False God” (City of Girls, by Elizabeth Gilbert)

Is that a saxophone in the background of a Taylor Swift song? This slow, jazzy number is all about love and desire—and how we come back to it even when the world around us (and sometimes we, ourselves) put it in jeopardy. “And I can’t talk to you when you’re like this/Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town/I’m New York City” and other lyrics referencing New York seem to be the grounding force in an otherwise tumultuous relationship. Multiple times on this record Swift has alluded to rough patches in her current happiness, but connection is always the solution to fixing it. She seems to say that if you treat your relationship like it’s your religion, you can get through anything. This is one of the sexier songs on the album, but it’s also got serious NYC vibes, so I’m picking City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert: a novel all about relishing romance in the glitzy 1940’s New York Theater scene, but also how desire can either set us on the road to ruin, or redemption.

14. “You Need to Calm Down” (The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, by Taylor Jenkins Reid)

This song has done what Swift does best: inspire conversation and a bit of controversy. Acknowledging that it was past time for her to be an outspoken ally for the LGBTQIAP+ community, YNTCD tackles the various ways communities are pitted against one another (especially on the internet.) The first verse examines her personal haters (“Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out/But you say it in a Tweet, that’s a cop-out), the second calls out homophobes (“Shade never made anybody less gay”), and the third examines how her relationships with her female contemporaries have often been antagonistic, something she herself has been responsible perpetuating in the past with songs like “Bad Blood” and “Better Than Revenge” (“We all know now, we all got crowns/you need to calm down.”) The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is about a famous actress who hid the great female love of her life behind multiple male partners and uses her platform to tell the truth (all while hiding one last devastating secret). While Taylor herself has not come out as part of the LGBTQ community, she has come out as an ally, and this book made me think about the issues of privacy, platform, allyship, and identity that the song also confronts. If there’s more to the story of Swift’s relationship to the LGBTQIAP+ community, she’s going to share it on her own terms.

15.“Afterglow” (Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams)

This song ranks high on my favorites from the album, and it’s a rare genre from Swift: the apology song. (The other famous one is Speak Now’s “Back to December.”) In this mid-tempo song with slamming drums and a breathy falsetto, Swift yearns for the partner she pushed away to meet her in the moments after the fight ends. “It’s all me, in my head/I’m the one who burned us down/ but it’s not what I meant,” she insists. There’s still hope here though, as opposed to earlier songs on the record that signal the doom of a friendship or a breakup after-the-fact. Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams, is a novel about a girl coming to terms with her role in a failed relationship, a career she can’t seem to succeed in, and friends she unknowingly betrays. “Why’d I have to break what I love so much?” is a question asked in this song’s chorus, and one Queenie must answer in order to find real, lasting happiness.

16. “ME! (feat. Brendon Urie)” (Crazy Rich Asians, by Kevin Kwan)

This self-love anthem is bubblegum sweet and full of earworms: the “Shake it Off“ of the TS7 Era. It makes me think of lightning-fast beach reads that you can’t put down and that feel so good to read but also have a deeper meaning to them. Just because it’s not the most lyrically advanced of her songs doesn’t mean this bop doesn’t deserve to be celebrated— it reminded me of how romances constantly get a bad rep (lol, see what I did there?) as somehow lesser than other genres. I love that Taylor doesn’t care about what other people think and is 100% focused on being her authentic self— just like the heroine of Crazy Rich Asians, Rachel Chu. When confronted with the wealth and expectations of her boyfriend Nick’s family (who don’t think she’s good enough for him), she insists it’s her individuality that makes her the perfect partner for him.

17. “It’s Nice to Have a Friend” (This Love Story Will Self-Destruct, by Leslie Cohen)

This track might be my second favorite? It’s so different (Ukulele? Trombone? Is that what I’m hearing?) and such a contrast to the beginning of the album, the opener closes the door on a once meaningful friendship. It’s also a deceiving song, in that I’m still not 100% sure what it’s about. I think Swift is exploring the importance of friendship in all its forms: in childhood (“School bell rings, walk me home”) to adolescence “Something gave you the nerve/to touch my hand”) to romantic love (“Church bells ring, carry me home/rice on the ground looks like snow”). Ultimately, she may be saying that the most important thing about a romantic partner is that they make you feel like you have a friend—when you’re young, the thing that matters most is feeling seen by other people. If your lover is also your best friend, then you know they always have your back. A love story that takes place over two characters’ twenties, This Love Story Will Self-Destruct is about the missteps, betrayals, beautiful moments and connection that forms between two people over a decade.

18. “Daylight” (Evvie Drake Starts Over, by Linda Holmes)

“My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in.” What a way to begin this album closer. Swift’s last tracks have a tradition of being the ones that are most emblematic of her current state of mind, but they also have developed certain themes over time. Renewal, starting over, self-reflection, and hope are all subjects “Daylight” sheds a little light on. She acknowledges past failings (“I wounded the good and trusted the wicked”) and what she wants for the future (“I once believed love would be [burning red]/but it’s golden”). A book that feels like daylight on your skin is what’s needed for this song, and I think Evvie Drake Starts Over is the perfect pick: a story about a woman still grieving the loss of her husband but who finds herself moving on with a former major league baseball player. Both of them have pasts they are healing from, but together, they find hope for the future. “I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night/and now I see daylight.” And, unlike (I think?) any other song in her catalogue, she speaks in the end, not sings, in a direct appeal to her audience. Her very last words are “You are what you love.” Well, I love Taylor Swift. I love a good song lyric to sink my teeth into, or to sing. I love love. And I love a good story, whether it comes from a song or a book, and when you’re done with the album, I hope you find some here.

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edwardsvirginity · 5 years

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a short(er) twilight-themed guide to my dissertation on memes

for anyone who wants to know why and how i wrote 8k words of academic theory on memes, but doesn’t actually want to read 8k words of academic theory on memes

so to begin with, a meme is really hard to define. this part is pretty boring if you don’t care about linguistics, so just take my word for it. i ask a lot of questions like “is a meme still a meme if” (no one shares it, no one makes different versions of it, there’s no standard format for it) and the answer is “sometimes! but we can’t tell you when!” and i also ask “how do you know when you’re looking at a meme?” to which the answer is “you just do! except when you don’t. that happens too.”

so basically, memes are like porn, you know them when you see them

then i talk about why it’s hard to study memes. this is fairly obvious if you think about it. imagine trying to find out the source of a random meme. and then every iteration of that meme anyone has ever made. then how popular each iteration got. how one iteration inspired another. how many times each iteration is reposted by someone else without credit. THEN, attempt to do that for every meme in existence. actually, just try and get a definitive count of how many memes exist. then, realizing that’s impossible, attempt to choose a “random” selection of memes to study not influenced by your personal online world. attempt to study memes that you don’t even know exist bc they don’t exist within your highly-customized online world. basically, memes are a rabbit hole and i don’t even pretend to do any sort of formal semi-comprehensive study, because i do not hate myself.

ok, moving on. i’m actually trying to write this post based on what I remember from my dissertation, which i haven’t reread in... a while. but i like to think i have a fairly good grasp of it bc i wrote it.

so basically the most important part about memes is that they function on at least 2 levels. let’s say there’s an active level and a passive level. the active level is the conversation you THINK you’re having when engaging with a meme. the clearly stated point/idea of the meme. the passive level is all the assumptions a meme is making in the background that, if you are not actively challenging, you are endorsing.

let’s see some examples.

this is a meme *i* made, so i’m gonna put myself on blast here

So the active level of this meme is the text/the point i’m trying to make, which is basically that bella is horny. but like, so horny that she’s willing to throw everything else in her life under the bus for some sexual satisfaction. i feel like this is fairly clear and most people interacting with the meme would consider that what the meme is about. we’re having a conversation about bella’s insatiable thirst for sparkling penis when we engage with this meme.

sort of an in-between level that provides us with further information about the point i’m trying to make is context for the meme/meme format. this meme format is about someone choosing between a good thing and a bad thing. they’ve got the good thing, but they’re tempted by/indulging in the bad thing anyway. it’s fairly reasonable to come to the conclusion that i’m judging bella, when you combine the meme context with the actual text. i’m not only interpreting bella’s behavior here (she eschews her loved ones for sexual gratification), i’m also giving it moral value, labeling yeeting herself onto that dick = bad, building/maintaining relationships with friends and family = good. however, if you’re not familiar with this meme and it’s format, the fact that i’m throwing shade at bella is less clear, even if you understand how i’m interpreting her behavior.

now on to the passive level of the meme. this meme makes some ASSUMPTIONS, and in engaging with the meme you’re validating those assumptions as “how this thing is/how the world works”. so here are a FEW of the assumptions this meme makes: 1. this is a man with his girlfriend checking out another girl. 2. the girlfriend is angry/jealous of her boyfriend expressing interest in another woman 3. everyone in this photo is heterosexual 4. men are always checking out other women/otherwise unfaithful, and this is normal/funny 5. this “couple” is monogamous 6. the “boyfriend” is relatable and we understand and condone his actions 7. maintaining a relationship with the “girlfriend” is a good decision and pursuing the girl in red would be a bad one

these assumptions might seem fairly clear, obvious, and straightforward, but they are ultimately, assumptions. we know NOTHING about the people in this photo and are projecting relationships on them. and clearly, we’re projecting some pretty intense gender and relationship roles on to them. and it’s necessary to accept those gender and relationship roles as “truth” long enough to understand the meme, because otherwise the meme wouldn’t make any sense, because the person who made it (me) made it with the understanding that you would be operating with the same set of assumptions about these people and their relationships as I am. understanding of what i’m trying to say with this meme is dependent on understanding and accepting the assumptions i’m handing you with it.

and again, these ARE assumptions. take away the text, and there could be plenty of things going on in this photo. it’s possible none of these people are in romantic relationships, and this is a guy with his friend/family member, and they like to hold hands. this guy could be whistling at a dog he sees on the sidewalk because he wants to pet it, and the girl in blue is mad because they’re in a hurry. the girl in red could be his ACTUAL girlfriend, whose self esteem he’s boosting, and the girl in blue could be some random girl who wants his attention. this could be a couple in an open relationship, but the girlfriend is in the middle of an argument with this guy about something else. the guy could have shoulder checked the girl in red and is looking back to say sorry, and the girl in blue is mad bc shoulder checking this poor girl was a rude af thing to do.

the reason why we don’t think any of those things ^^ upon seeing this meme is bc we live in the patriarchy. however, unfortunately, by sharing this meme uncritically, we’re also reinforcing the passive ideas within it, that men are unfaithful and it’s no big deal, that women are always competing with each other, that heterosexuality and monogamy are standard and correct.

let’s look at another meme.

i didn’t make this one, i found it on a really cringy list of (old) twilight memes

active level of this meme: kristen stewart never smiles

in-between context level: this is the “most interesting man in the world” meme, where, bc he’s so interesting, he rarely has time to do normal things, and when he does them, he does them in a weird way. so according to this meme, kristen rarely smiles, and when she does, she does it in a weird way

passive level: kristen stewart SHOULD smile, and the fact that she doesn’t is weird/bad. WHY she doesn’t smile, and WHY she should, is left to viewer interpretation, but the implication is she’s doing something wrong. this meme wants you to fill in the blanks with the idea that kristen stewart is a bad actress because she doesn’t smile. it also reinforces the idea that women are SUPPOSED to smile and not be serious all the time. you could even go so far as to assume this meme is condemning bella’s character as a whole for being overdramatic and not smiling, playing into the narrative that women are hysterical and get upset about things that aren’t a big deal, and we shouldn’t take them seriously. personally, i think kristen’s acting in twilight was spot-on and super nuanced, and it was true to bella’s character that she didn’t smile often. i also think that kristen as a person smiles a reasonable amount and is only criticized for not smiling bc ppl so heavily associate her with bella. but if i were to share this meme uncritically, i wouldn’t just be reaffirming the (false) idea that kristen stewart doesn’t smile, i would also be reinforcing the idea that women SHOULD smile all the time, kristen is a bad actress, and bella is a bad character. i could go further into the sexism of all that but this is already long.

HOW DID I GET AWAY WITH WRITING ABOUT THIS FOR MY MASTERS DEGREE??

basically, while you think you’re engaging in a conversation on one level with memes, you’re actually engaging in a lot of conversations. when it comes to political memes, often the “passive” levels of the memes come with a lot of ideas about how the world is or should work, which you reinforce when engaging with those memes. these passive assumptions shape the conversations we’re having, and the kind of policies we’re willing to support. memes come encoded with opinions on gender, relationships, race, sexuality, class, etc, and and make declarations about how these things DO or SHOULD work, shaping our own personal understanding of them. a meme that makes donald trump look stupid is advocating for different policies/political decisions than one that makes him look dangerous. and if all of our memes about trump focus on him looking stupid, we put more political effort into addressing that problem than the problem that he’s dangerous. memes can be used to challenge norms/question widely accepted ideas (here’s an example i literally just made):

but they can also be used to help people internalize ideas/messages that they wouldn’t be willing to accept uncritically if those ideas were presented in a different format. sometimes this is good, if you use memes to help people internalize good messages, like self-love. however, unfortunately in recent years this has mostly been used to radicalize lonely men, who internalize increasingly more hateful assumptions in memes and don’t realize that they’re doing it, because those messages are not explicit. just look at how pepe became a hate symbol. if you laugh at enough memes that operate on the assumption that women are sluts, you’re gonna start believing women are sluts, and are gonna be more likely to laugh at memes that imply that women are bad because they’re slutty, then that since they’re bad they don’t deserve rights, etc.

basically, memes shape our understanding of how the world works because they make assumptions about how the world works that we have to agree with in order to understand the meme. when these assumptions involve identities or politics, they affect how we understand those things, and what conversations we have about them.

and that’s basically my dissertation on memes, minus a lot of other discussions about pop culture, humor, and group formation.

any questions??

#sorry this is long #idk why i thought i was gonna be able to compress an 8k dissertation into something THAT short #anyway hmu if u wanna read my dissertation #obviously i think this shit is interesting #there's a lot i didn't cover here but i didn't need to to make my main point #i really tried to keep this short #also looking at old twilight memes was very Uncomfy #like... the misogyny & racism &ableism were Strong #uhh..#twilight #i guess

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victorhugogf · 4 years

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Alex Ch1 Pt1/5:„his“>she only does this with one man>she’s probably out for revenge/„as not to be recognised“>he’s either doing something bad/shameful or he has done something bad in the past/„other things“„on that day“>again, not using the actual words but we know what she’s talking about regardless/„birds““hawks““racoons““coyotes““one with the outdoors““I fly“>so many nature references/„shedding the last baby fat as my womanhood emerges“>just like in the intro—

(2/5) the coming of age is mentioned, she had to grow up fast after what happened to her sister (very traumatic), she lost her childhood innocence “This is how I kill someone.“ -- this exact sentence frames the entire chapter just like what her sister told her about boys in the intro. These words are used in the very beginning of the chapter which evokes immense interest, then again in the middle of the chapter after she described what she’s been doing for a while

(3/5) leading up to her revenge and then again at the end of the chapter. Nevertheless even at the end of the chapter we still don’t know whether she actually kills him or metaphorically kills him. “his eyes flick down to my tank top“ -- indication he hasn’t learned from his past actions which spurs Alex on even more, I imagine. She sees he’s not actively fighting against it “And we’re not two human beings anymore. We’re a male and a female. Alone in the woods.”

(4/5) “another part wants to. And it’s much stronger.“ -- This ties all the nature references from the beginning back into the story. She points out how she feels like an animal due to his actions (used, gets stripped of everything like self worth etc by him) but also how he behaves like an animal (in nature reproduction goes hand in hand with survival, animals would be out to reproduce which she mirrors onto his actions). Humans however just shouldn’t work that way, their only goal shouldn’t be to reproduce

(5/5) and because they should have morals and societal standards which animals just don’t have this shouldn’t happen. He however, obviously doesn’t have that rn which makes him closer to an animal than anything else in her mind. Another indicator of this is that he lives so removed from society (“He’s lonely”). Alex seems so confident in her actions as if she’s been planning this for ever. I think part of this confidence translates through the very short, to the point sentences.-🍻

Wow. I love this analysis. The nature references are really prominent in these first couple of chapters, I totally agree -- the references to animals are especially prominent to me because it helps us really understand how Alex kind of views her sister’s killer as this terrible, beastly animal. The part where she describes his eyes flickering to her tank top was really meaningful for me -- again I think it highlights his animalistic, instinctual characteristics. Alex begins that part by saying “He’s lonely... I almost feel bad when his face lights up. Almost. Because immmediately following that pure smile of a human being who craves the company of another human being, his eyes flick down to my tank top, where my breasts heave up and down.” Any part of him that shows emotion makes Alex view him as a human being... but the parts of him that make him such a cruel character, the terrible side of him that’s a rapist and murderer, is what makes Alex view him as an animal. Once the topic of murder compes up, once she’s getting ready to become a murderer herself, she says, “We’re not two human beings anymore. We’re a male and a female. Alone in the woods.”

“A part of him knows he shouldn’t do this. The part that crumbles up crackers and feeds them to brids knows that he shouldn’t bring me out of the sun into the darkness of his house But another part wants to. And it’s much stronger.” Alex can note even the smallest bit of kindness in this guy, and it makes her hate him even more because he blatantly ignores the part of himself that knows better than to take advantage of young girls. It also gives the man’s character a bit more depth... he does all these terrible things and he knows that it’s bad. Yet he lets his animalistic side take over.

I’m interested to see how the title of this book is going to come into play. I’m thinking there’s going to be a lot more play with the nature and animal references, don’t you agree?

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greyias · 5 years

Text

FIC: By the Guidance of Stars - Chapter 10

Title: By the Guidance of Stars Fandom: SWTOR Pairing: Theron Shan/f!Jedi Knight Rating: T (this chapter) Genre: Angst, H/C, Romance, Humor Synopsis: The Coalition tries to heal in the aftermath of the Battle of Yavin 4, but not every wound is physical. A series of missing scenes set during the end of Shadow of Revan. Author’s Note: It’s been a long time since you saw this header... eh? Thanks to TheWIPProject2019 I’m trying to get this beasty finished up before the end of the month. And we’re close! So close! Also, I feel the need to point out again that certain viewpoint characters do not necessarily reflect my own views, etc, etc. Just trying to stick to what’s portrayed in canon. Warnings: See Chapter 1.

The sun and the gas giant rose on the horizon as morning wore on, their duel for dominance cranking up the humidity into an uncomfortable swelter that he was becoming unfortunately familiar with. After the debrief with Saresh, Theron had retreated further into the canopy under the guise of helping with departure preparations. He wouldn’t go so far as to say it was cooler there, but it was a little less miserable than baking out under the sun.

Of course, there were several things that needed to be done before their withdrawal from the planet, but his motivations weren’t exactly selfless. After the meeting had wrapped, Lana came by to bid her Republic counterparts farewell, and Theron hadn’t felt the need to stick around and chat. He’d never been particularly talented at saying goodbye when he was on the best of terms with people — and things with Lana were… complicated.

Prior to his capture at the hands of the Revanites, there had been this queer sort of understanding between them. He wouldn’t go so far as to call it blind trust — but they’d had each others’ backs during their long exile. Partners in crime, if only by necessity rather than choice. They’d built a familiar rapport that to an outsider might mistake them for actual friends. And yet traditional friendships didn’t involve getting each other tortured by the enemy—although maybe they’d never really been so much as friends. Just temporary allies stuck together for an extended period of time.

It was probably Theron’s own fault for forgetting that.

After his escape from the Revanites, he hadn’t been able to completely ignore that itchy feeling of unease that settled between his shoulder blades when she was around. On some rational level, he knew it wasn’t fair to Lana that he would get a flash of a dark room deep in an underground Rishi compound. It wasn’t really her fault that he felt pressure building in his skull at the memory of forceful mind probes, or for a moment only hearing the ragged echo of his own screams reverberating in a small cramped room. All of that would eventually go away in time, he knew. It wasn’t utterly rational for him to hold a grudge — but then again, Theron had never really been accused of being a paragon of rationality.

So he’d kept his final interaction with her as short as humanly possible, which may have meant that he’d come off a little more terse than he’d intended if Kira’s arched brow at him was any indication. He’d felt a little pride in being able to be mostly civil with Lana during the whole thing, so he’d ignored the Jedi’s silent admonishments. He was less successful in ignoring the ugly feeling bubbling in his gut at leaving Grey alone with Lana to talk. Maybe it was jealousy, maybe it was concern. It was too difficult to untangle at this point, and he honestly didn’t care as long as he just got himself as far away from the awkward situation as possible.

So he’d made himself useful instead. Satele had given him a manifest of several shuttles on the ground that needed preflight checks. That was the pretense anyway. What they’d really needed was a thorough sweep for bugs, tracking devices, and any other nasty surprises before docking with the Dauntless and getting back into Republic space. Just because there was a temporary truce when it came to the remaining Revanites and the search for Vitiate didn’t mean that they had to blindly trust the Imperials. After all, if it had occurred to Theron to try and use the opportunity to gain extra intel while both sides were together, he was fairly certain the same thing had occurred to the Imps.

He hadn’t really found anything noteworthy or surprising — except for just one interesting thing. The last shuttle on the list had been assigned to him as part of his reinstatement with the SIS. A ship with a very familiar name and registry — Sojourner.

It was standard procedure for the government-owned property of any rogue intelligence agents to be confiscated, inspected, and then reappropriated as needed. That wasn’t the weird part — just another uncomfortable reminder of how much Theron had to straighten out once he got back to Coruscant. No, the weird thing was how his ship had wound up in Satele’s possession.

It was very possible that it was pure coincidence. Wartime led to a lot of organized chaos, and it wasn’t out of the ordinary for assets to be reassigned where they were needed most. It was also possible that Satele had somehow managed to arrange the transfer of his shuttle to her fleet. But there was no reason for her to do that. They weren’t exactly close and she would had to have some sort of motivation to put forth the effort. Like realizing the charges leveled against him were trumped up and had held onto something for him until his name was cleared. But that implied some amount of faith in him, both in his character and his abilities. And that just… he didn’t really know what to do with that.

As his hand brushed over the familiar hull, a rush of memories and emotions washing over him, he decided that maybe the could analyze the implications and the coincidences later. For now he was just happy to have something of his own back again. Well, technically it was still Republic property. But possession was nine-tenths of the law, as the saying went.

The crunch of heavy boots in the underbrush roused him from his thoughts, and he glanced up from his datapad to see Grey making her way through the jungle. A quick glance at the chrono let him know that the morning had worn on longer than he’d realized — and that their time here on Yavin was growing to a close. An uncomfortable feeling rose in his chest at that thought, and he did his best to ignore it.

“So, I see you found me,” he said by way of greeting.

“You managed to discover a good hiding spot,” she commented lightly, her tone almost teasing.

“What makes you think I’m hiding?” He tossed back, tapping out a few last commands into the datapad before stowing it away.

She gave a little shrug, still with that half smile. “Well, you’re off here on your own. I thought you just hated packing.”

“Well, packing is the worst,” he agreed, “although I’m not hiding from it.”

She quirked a brow. “Hiding from something else then?”

“You don’t give up easily, do you?”

The teasing grin faded into a gentler smile. “You disappeared pretty quickly earlier. I wasn’t sure…”

It probably was a little wishful thinking that his quick exit earlier would have been completely ignored and forgotten. He swallowed the sigh that threatened to escape and wondered if it was worth the attempt to bluff his way out this conversation. Their time here on Yavin was almost up — and there were far better ways to spend it than debating about Lana Beniko.

“Satele needed help with departure prep.” That earned an arched brow in disbelief, and he felt his bottled up sigh escaping before mumbling, “And maybe I also thought things might be a little less awkward without me there.”

Her face didn’t exactly fall but her eyes dropped to the ground, lips pressing together. He did his best to ignore the pang in his gut that made him want to take back the moment of honesty. It really wasn’t fair that she could twist his insides up with just a look.

“I had hoped that we could all part as friends, but… I understand your feelings about Lana right now,” she said after a moment, “and it would be wrong for someone to tell you that you have no right to them.”

He was fairly certain she didn’t understand all of his complicated feelings regarding their Sith ally, or soon-to-be former ally rather. He didn’t exactly have it all sorted out himself — but it was a nice change of pace that he didn’t have to argue about his feelings.

“It’s less that, and more… giving you space.” There was a little more hesitation in his reply than he would have let others’ hear — but then again, taking this sort of care in a conversation was also a bit of new territory for him. At her quirked brow, he added, “You and Lana have a little bit of a different dynamic. It’s not my place to impose.”

His words were genuine, if a little grudgingly uttered. He wasn’t sure exactly how right Kira had been about everything — but she had a point about him trusting the woman in front of him. It was not something he afforded to many people, but this particular Jedi had earned his at the very least.

“That’s very thoughtful,” Grey said, her lips twitching at the hints of a smile, “but you didn’t have to go so far.”

Theron shrugged lightly. “You know my motto: go big or go home.”

“I did not realize you had codified that particular impulse into a motto.” Her quirked lips quivered a little, as if she was suppressing a grin.

“Impulse?” He asked with mock indigence. “Are you suggesting that I don’t think through everything I do?”

That got the grin to emerge as she let out a snort that was very undignified for a Jedi Master, but she didn’t seem to notice. “Maybe just the smallest of suggestions.”

His harumph was half-hearted at best, but it earned a snicker, and more importantly, moved them away from the awkward topic. Of course, they still hadn’t addressed the bantha in the room, which was the one thing he’d been avoiding thinking about as much as possible. Which was that the time for their own parting was rapidly drawing nearer. Part of him just wanted to keep up the teasing, maybe see exactly how loud and undignified he could make her snort. It was almost tempting to just keep things light and happy and not even bring up the fact that this could be the last time they saw each other — at least for a long while. However, it was probably better in the long run to just rip off the kolto patch now and not draw this out any longer.

“So, this is it, huh?”

Her mirth evaporated as she caught onto his meaning and she gave a small nod. “I suppose… I suppose it is.”

“It’s been quite a ride, hasn’t it?” He added. “I mean, it’s not every day you dismantle a galactic conspiracy and save both the Republic and the Empire from destruction.”

“Not every day,” she allowed, “and not necessarily all at once.”

Oh. Right. He almost forgot who he was talking to. Theron made a living working in the shadows, but even after all the time they’d work together he hadn’t quite gotten used to standing in the long one she cast. “Brag, brag, brag.”

“I’m not bragging,” she insisted quickly, “or trying to undercut your accomplishments — it is a very good thing we did here, Theron.”

Oh stars, she was just so… so… he didn’t even know, just that he was going to miss this too. Even if it made him feel awkward and uncomfortable far more than he ever wanted to. What the hell was wrong with him?

“I’m kidding,” he said, only letting her linger in the flustered state for a few moments, “and if we’re being honest you did most of the hard work.”

“Do not discount your own contributions.”

��I’m not,” he assured her, “I’m just giving credit where it’s due.”

“You deserve just as much credit,” she said firmly.

“Well, I mean, I did get my old job back,” Theron said, “so it’s not like it all went unnoticed.”

“Well good,” she gave a small huff, “the Republic and the SIS are very lucky to have as dedicated and talented an agent as you.”

“Can I get a recording of that to play back for the director?” he joked.

“Certainly. Where is your recorder?”

From the look in her eye and tone of her voice, he wasn’t sure if she was serious or not. The mental image of her facing off with Marcus Trant was an amusing one. Jedi overachiever versus the Republic’s chief spy — it would certainly be quite the show. Not that Theron really needed any extra help with someone singing his praises, and definitely not from his, uh… his…

Okay, they didn’t really have any definitions right now for whatever this thing was. That was fine. Suited him perfectly really. Definitions were muddy and confusing and just made a mess of things anyway. That was probably part of what had tripped him up in the past. Well, that and working too much. Not that he was going to stop that. The working part. He had things to do. Besides, it was better to just go with the flow and see where the moment took them and—

“So what’s next for you?” she asked. The way she was tilting her head slightly at him in confusion said that perhaps his utter mental derailment over the state of their not-relationship may have not gone entirely unnoticed.

He cleared his throat, trying to refocus back on the present. “Coruscant. Have to debrief officially, do some paperwork. Boring stuff really. You?”

“I must admit, I don’t exactly know. I will have to report back to the Jedi Council and see where they want to send me next.” A frown of stole across her face as she gave the matter further thought. “I… did not exactly ask for permission to head to Rishi. That will take a little bit of explanation.”

He almost teased her for the flagrant rule breaking and broach of protocol, but a memory of the previous night resurfaced and quashed the impulse just as quickly. “Well, at least you had the Grand Master with you for the latter half of this whole mess. That should help.”

“Yes,” Grey said, “I am certain she will help straighten everything out.”

“You know, I think she just might.”

The words escaped him without much thought, which surprised him a little. Apparently they did the other participant of the conversation as well because her eyebrows raised a little in surprise, but she didn’t comment directly.

He gave a half shrug, trying to recover his footing. “I mean. You are her favorite.”

“Theron, she cares just as much—”

“It’s a joke,” he cut her off, perhaps too quickly, before he could hear whether she was about to argue in favor of Satele’s impartiality when it came to her fellow Jedi or if the statement was going to be a little more familial in nature.

The frown returned in full, her hands settling on her hips as she fixed him with a look for his rude interruption. “I am not trying to intervene or insert myself where I do not belong, but… she does care. Even if it’s not shown in the same way everyone else does.”

Theron’s gaze drifted down to the lightsabers clipped at Grey’s belt and then back to his shuttle, an odd feeling bubbling up in chest. It wasn’t a bad feeling, just a really confusing one. Something he had no idea what to do with and he let out a long sigh, hand unconsciously drifting to the back of his neck to rub at an invisible itch. “Yeah, maybe… I mean… it’s just weird for me.”

Her frown melted away into a contrite look and she cautiously laid a hand on his. “I apologize. That was not my place to speak on.”

“It’s okay,” he said after a moment, giving a quick glance to their surroundings before adjusting his hand so that he could thread his fingers through hers. “Just one of those things. Not sure if I’ll ever get used to it — at least with her.”

That didn’t seem to particularly mollify her, so he added after a moment’s hesitation. “But can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course.”

“After everything that’s happened lately, I’ve been starting to wonder if you might be right. About… that. And maybe a few other things.”

The apologetic expression gave way to a genuine smile that was almost blinding in its intensity and almost made up completely for the awkward conversation. Well, and her close proximity definitely didn’t hurt.

He did another quick scan of their surroundings and a readout flashed on the HUD in his ocular implants, letting him know that the area around them was completely clear of onlookers. So he stepped in even closer and dropped his voice an octave as he gave her fingers a squeeze. “You know, it’s kind of funny.”

“What is?”

“Everyone knows you as this famous Jedi — and yet no one knows just how amazing you are.”

“I’m not—”

“You are,” he punctuated his words with another squeeze of his fingers, and followed it up by cupping her face with his other hand so she couldn’t look away. “Sure I mean, you can swing around a lightsaber like nobody’s business, but you also make a pretty damn good spy and saboteur.”

“I would not call those my strengths,” she said, “I am only as good as those supporting me.”

He hummed softly in consideration. “So you’re saying you had a pretty good partner then?”

“The best.”

“Sounds like a pretty lucky guy to me,” Theron mused, “although I’m pretty sure he can’t do nearly as good a pirate impression as you.”

She flushed at the mention of her cover identity back on Rishi. “I was just trying to get into character. For the mission.”

“You got very into character if I remember correctly.” He grinned as the color in her cheeks darkened. “Complete with a very ridiculous pirate outfit.”

“It’s not ridiculous!” she insisted. “It’s… historically accurate.”

“You had an ornamental eyepatch,” he pointed out. “What did you wind up doing with that thing anyway?”

“It’s on the ship.” She gave him a look. “Why? Do you want me to go and get it?”

“Hmm, maybe later.”

“Later?”

“I’ve got a different idea on what we could be doing with our time.” He brushed his fingers across her cheek, watching the way her breath hitched ever so slightly with motion. “If you think you’re up for it.”

This close up, he could see her entire thought process as she worked through the innuendo and invitation. A subtle furrowing of the brow in brief puzzlement, before her eyes widened ever so slightly in realization, and her cheeks flushed even darker than before. Then she was looping her arms around his neck, leaning in for a long, slow kiss filled with desire and promises of much more.

As she pulled away, she looked up at him with those big blue eyes. “Something like that?”

“It’s a good start.” He grinned back at her, one hand going around her waist as he pulled her in even closer. “Why don’t we move to somewhere a little more private?”

Her return kiss was answer in itself.

#swtor fanfiction #theron shan x jedi knight #Theron Shan #Female Jedi Knight/Hero of Tython #otp: adorkable #oc: greyias highwind #SoR Fic O Doom #ONE YEAR LATER #we get an update #thank goodness for #thewipproject2019 #(this is a frankenchapter)#(in that it has pieces from all of the cut chapters that preceded it)#swtor #fanfic #greyfic

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questionsonislam · 5 years

Note

Can I get information about the high ethics of Hz. Muhammad (PBUH)?

PERFECT EXAMPLE IN ETHICS

There are some nice characteristics; everybody wants to have them and practice them in their lives: Patience, contentment, generosity, humbleness, altruism, courage, etc. For, they gain man the quality of being real “man”.

The person who had and practiced these nice characteristics included in "high ethics" perfectly is the "model man" Hz. Muhammad (pbuh). His ethics is so high that Allah Almighty addresses him as follows:

"Nay, verily for thee is a Reward unfailing: And thou (standest) on an exalted standard of character." (al-Qalam, 68/3-4)

The following is also stated in the Quran for the Prophet (pbuh):

"Ye have indeed in the Messenger of Allah a beautiful pattern (of conduct)." (al-Ahzab, 33/21)

Thus, believers are advised and ordered to accept him as a model in all phases of their lives. For, his ethics is the best example and his living style, attitudes, words and deeds are the best model for us.

The Prophet (pbuh) states the following regarding the issue:

"I was sent to complete high ethics." (see Muwatta, Husnul-Khalq, 8; Musnad, 2/381)

Thus, he attracts the attention to the fact that this characteristic of his is related to his duty in the world.

His ethics is the clean ethics that Allah praises and the Quran teaches. When Allah sent Islam to help humanity and sent down the Quran, He chose the Prophet (pbuh) to display the practice of divine principles in life.

It is possible to see all of the beauties mentioned in the Quran in the Prophet (pbuh). When the Companions asked Hz. Aisha, the wife of the Prophet (pbuh), about the ethics of the Prophet (pbuh), she said,

"Do you not read the Quran? His ethics was the ethics of the Quran."

People from all walks of life can find exemplary aspects in the life and ethics of the Prophet (pbuh). Along with numerous virtues and beauties one can take from his life, one can also take hundreds of lessons that interest him related to his profession and his place in the society. For, the life of the Prophet (pbuh) is an example for us in all aspects.

For example, a rich man can take as a model the Prophet (pbuh), who dominated all Arabia a few years after the Migration and obtained great wealth but who distributed all of it to the needy.

The helpless, desperate and lonely people can take as a model the Prophet (pbuh), who was exposed to unimaginable torture and pressure throughout his life in Makkah, who was left alone by all of his relatives but who never made any concessions related to his cause and belief.

A student can take as a model the Prophet (pbuh), who sat before Hz. Jibril (Gabriel), who brought him the verses of the Quran from Allah through revelation, and learned the Quran.

A successful commander can be like the Prophet (pbuh), who defeated the enemy at the Battle of Badr and Hunayn, gaining great victories against the big armies of the enemy with a small number of mujahids and who bowed his head down to the saddle of his camel out of modesty and solemnity during the conquest of Mecca when he entered the city with his gorgeous army.

A farm owner can take lessons from the intelligent and just Prophet (pbuh), who captured the land of Khaybar, Sons of Nadr and Fadak land following the conquests, who reclaimed the land, appointed the people who could get the best crops from the land and distributed the land to the Companions who did not have any land.

A merchant can take as a model the lifestyle and commercial ethics of the Prophet (pbuh), who ran the business of Hz. Khadijah, his wife, who acted honestly in business and who was the best person among the members of the trade caravan going to Syria and Basra.

A child who became an orphan at a young age can take as a model the Prophet (pbuh), who lost his father when he was in his mother's womb and his mother when he was six years old and spent his remaining life without his father and mother but in whom humanity took pride, whom Allah loved the most and who was loved as a "pearly orphan".

A sensible young man can take as a model the young Muhammad (pbuh), who was a symbol of chastity, honesty, modesty and decency throughout his youth and who earned his living by grazing the sheep of his uncle Abu Talib. For, nobody witnessed any bad deeds, lies and tricks from him throughout his life, before and after becoming a prophet.

A preacher who gives advice to people reminds people the Prophet (pbuh), who told his Companions about the guiding truths in the best style in the mosque, who practiced what he preached perfectly and caused tribes to be guided to the true path with one word, and takes him as a model.

In short, anybody can take the beloved Prophet (pbuh) as a model for himself no matter under which circumstances he is, what his job is, where he is, in the morning and evening, during the day or night.

He is such a guide that when you follow him, the darkness of your life disappears and your way is enlightened thanks to his light, things will go right and your life will be regular and organized.

The life of the Prophet (pbuh) is like a luminous chain adorned with all of the rules of high ethics in which people are engaged and which can respond to whatever they need. His high ethics sheds light on those who look for that luminous light. His guidance becomes a guide for those who look for the true path. The curative water presented by him is like elixir of life for the confused people who falter in the desolate and scorching desert. The light rays coming from him are like a sea lantern that will help the poor people who flutter in the quagmire of rebellion and sin to find salvation and reach the shore.

ETHICAL CHARACTERISTICS OF THE PROPHET

The most important characteristic of the ethics of the Prophet (pbuh) is that it is Allah’s gift. He did not get those nice characteristics by working and making efforts. His ethics was granted and bestowed upon him by Allah. That is, Almighty Allah created him perfectly and in a distinguished way so that people will take him as a model.

He lived based on the same characteristics and ethics from birth to death. His good qualities existed in him when he was born. It is the Almighty Lord who trained and educated him, and who embellished him with the best attributes of ethics.

For this reason, the more the person who accepts the Prophet as a model imitates him, the more he will benefit from him and his luminous light.

One of the most prominent features of the ethics of the Prophet (pbuh) is that the traits that are opposite to each other and that exist in man’s nature are combined in the best way in him and are in the ideal position. It reaches the middle way, without going to extremes.

The Prophet (pbuh) showed to his ummah and to all humanity throughout his life perfectly the values and maturity that everybody desired but could not attain.

There were some moments when he challenged thousands of enemies alone, as the most courageous warrior, ignoring the big number of the enemy. However, even in that state, he maintained his softheartedness and mercy.

For example, after a war, he felt so sorry for the enemy children who had been killed that he said children should not be killed even if they were the children of the enemy and that they were innocent and people of Paradise.

While he was doing his best for the supreme purpose of the salvation of all humanity and the spread of Islam to the world and thinking about the state of his ummah whose number amounted to thousands and spread to every part of Arabia and their affairs, he never forgot the poor and needy Muslims around him; he did not neglect his own children's education and needs either. He did not prefer one to the other.

Although he had such a heavy task with great responsibility, he devoted himself to his Lord and spent most of his day worshipping and making dhikr. His heart was always in connection with Allah. Although it seemed that he had cut off his connection with the world in this state, he was still in the world. He always observed the consent of Allah in all his affairs.

The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) protected his friends and showed them compassion and closeness more than their parents; he forgave the bad deeds inflicted upon him and did not think of taking revenge. He released those who were grabbed while setting traps to kill him, but he never forgave the enemies of Allah; he did not leave them unpunished.

He always reminded the hypocrites who seemed to be Muslims of the fear of Hell and their terrible state in the hereafter.

The Prophet (pbuh) was the sultan of the Arabs and the ruler of Arabia when the Islamic land extended to Yemen in the south and Iran and Syria in the north. Although the goods and booty that the enemy left after the wars filled the mosque and the most precious goods were in the hands of the Muslims, he was humble enough to sit on a pillow filled with grass and contented enough to suffer from hunger problems.

When Hz. Umar said, "While the emperors of the Byzantine and the Persian empires live in luxury and comfort, the Messenger of Allah lives on a dry mat" and cried, the Prophet (pbuh) said,

"O Umar! Let the emperors of the Byzantine and the Persia live in comfort and pleasure. The boons of the hereafter are enough for us."

The ethics of the Prophet (pbuh) was like an inherent trait of him. The sun shines, flowers transform a place into Paradise with their smells and colors, trees yield various kinds of fruits and reveal what is in their nature; likewise, the ethical life of the Messenger of Allah occurred naturally.

Everybody who saw the Prophet (pbuh) thought that he was created with that virtue. No one believed that something contrary to that virtue would come out of him. He always helped the needy, protected the weak, spoke softly, smiled and showed modesty and tolerance to everybody. The sun shines on both believers and unbelievers, similarly, the compassion of the Prophet (pbuh) that covered the world encompassed everybody whether big or small, young or old Muslim and non-Muslim.

THE ETHICS OF THE PROPHET WITH THE WORDS OF HIS RELATIVES

The Prophet never concealed and hid any of his states from people. For, every state of him formed an example for the Companions. Therefore, the Companions followed every state, deed and word of the Prophet (pbuh), trying to learn and memorize them. They learned by asking the things they did not know or hesitated. Therefore, all the life stages of the Prophet (pbuh) were known by the Companions.

Today's Muslim can find an example and a guiding light from the Prophet (pbuh) related to all issues from the most private issues to the issues that concern the society, the state and the whole world.

We learn the high ethics of the Prophet (pbuh) and his relationships with people from his closest relatives and his Companions who followed him like a shadow.

Those who knew the Prophet (pbuh) best were his wives, those who served him and his close friends. For example, we learn from Hz. Khadijah, his loyal and self-sacrificing wife who lived with him for twenty-five years, fifteen years of which were before his prophethood, the personality and character of our Prophet (pbuh).

Hz. Khadijah believed in the Prophet (pbuh) as soon as the first revelation was sent down to him without any hesitation; when she saw the panic of the Prophet, she soothed him, eliminating his worry and anxiety.

Hz. Khadijah consoled the Prophet (pbuh) as follows:

"Allah will never humiliate you because you keep good relations with your kith and kin, you help those who are in need, you support the weak, you help the oppressed, you feed the guest and you answer the call of those who are hit by misfortunes in the way of Allah."

Hz. Aisha, who lived with the Prophet (pbuh) for nine years, was the wife of the Prophet (pbuh) he loved the most after Hz. Khadijah. We learn most of the familial life of the Prophet (pbuh) and his personality from Hz. Aisha. She narrates the ethics of the Prophet (pbuh) as follows:

"The ethics of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) was the ethics of the Quran. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) never nursed a grudge or took revenge for his own sake. When he was angry with something, he became angry for the sake of the Quran. When he liked something, he liked it for the sake of the Quran."

"When the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) preferred one of the two things, he would definitely prefer the easier one. If the easy one was a sin, he would be the furthest one away from it among people."

"He did not utter any bad words; he did not want to do any bad deeds to anyone. When the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) spoke, he would not combine or lengthen words. He uttered words one by one, enabling the listeners to absorb them. The listener could count and memorize his words."

Hz. Ali, who was educated by the Prophet (pbuh) beginning from a very young age, who was with the Prophet (pbuh) also after his prophethood all the time and who continued his descent, narrates his high ethics as follows:

"The Prophet was continually smiling, gentle in manners, soft in nature. He was not severe, harsh-hearted, loud, abusive, or miserly.

He would disregard that which he disliked, and no one ever despaired of him. He never responded to disparagement or evil words.

He forbade upon himself three things: Argument, arrogance, and that which did not concern him. And he relieved the people of three: He would not degrade any among them or abuse them, he would not search after their honor or private matters.

He would not speak except in matters which he hoped to be rewarded for. When he spoke, his attendees would lower their heads as if birds had alighted upon them. Once he finished, they would speak.

The Companions would not vie with one another in his presence to speak, but when one would talk in his presence, the rest would listen until he finished. Speech in his presence was that of the first among them.

He would laugh with the Companions and wonder with them.

He had patience with the strangers when they were gruff in speech and requests. His companions would like them to come and ask him questions.

The Prophet would say, 'If you see someone in need, help him.'

He would not accept praise except from those who were balanced and not excessive. He would not interject into someone's speech unless they transgressed, in which case he would either rebuke them or else leave.

Hind bin Abi Hala, who was Hz. Khadijah’s son from her first husband, and who was the Prophet’s step-son, narrates the characteristics of the Prophet (pbuh) as follows:

"The Messenger of Allah was always considerate. His silence was longer than his speech. He never spoke about anything that was unnecessary. He would mention Allah’s name when he started and finished speaking. His words were true; he would speak concisely. He used neither more nor fewer words than necessary.

He neither offended nor despised anyone. He would show respect to even the smallest boon; he did not regard any boon simple. He never found fault in anything even in a small amount of food. He did not find fault in any boon nor did he excessively praise it.

He did not get angry for worldly affairs. However, when a right was violated, he would get so angry that nothing could stop his fury and wrath until that right was restored. On the other hand, the Messenger of Allah would not get angry for a personal issue and would not think of taking revenge. On the contrary, he would treat a person who committed a bad deed well as a lenient and generous person.

"When he got angry, he would calm down immediately and would not display that he was angry. When he became happy and relieved, he would close his eyes. He did not laugh but smiled, When he smiled, his blessed teeth seemed like bright pearls."

Hz. Anas bin Malik, who served the Prophet (pbuh) for nine years, narrates a nice characteristic of him as follows:

"The Messenger of Allah was the most generous person. He never refused even a slave or a child who brought cold water to him on a freezing morning and would make wudu with it. Whenever anyone came to him with a request, he would listen attentively to him and the Messenger of Allah would not leave him until he himself left."

"When somebody held the hand of the Messenger of Allah to shake hands, he would not leave his hand until he himself left."

A few people went to Zayd bin Thabit, the revelation scribe of the Prophet (pbuh) and asked, "O Zayd! Will you tell us about the states, deeds and words of the Prophet (pbuh)?" Zayd bin Thabit stated the following:

"What shall I tell you about that lofty Messenger? If you ask about all of his states, deeds and words, he is such a sea that has no coast. However, I will mention some of his states:

I was a neighbor of the Messenger of Allah. When he received revelation, he would send for me. I would enter into his presence and write down the revelation that had been sent down. When we mentioned worldly affairs, he would also talk about them. When we mentioned otherworldly affairs, he would also talk about them. When we started to talk about food, he would also talk about food."

Those are the views and observations about the prophet (pbuh) by the people who were closest to him. They are the witnessing of the distinguished people who paid attention to all of his acts and deeds and who tried to regard him as their guide, coming from their hearts.

GREAT REVOLUTION IN THE FIELD OF INTELLECT

The Prophet (pbuh) made the greatest revolution and change in the field of intellect. The Arabs of Jahiliyyah were so adherent and devoted to their faiths and customs that it was impossible for any power to separate them from their faiths and customs, which they had had for centuries.

They went beyond bounds so much in savagery, terror and oppression that they inflicted upon defenseless people the tortures that could not be inflicted upon even animals. Their feelings of mercy, compassion and pity had weakened so much that they became monsters that buried their daughters alive.

It was an era when prostitution, torture and all kinds of disgrace were committed without hesitation. Powerful and rich people used to oppress the poor; they used to sell women like goods; all kinds of interest and usury were common; people drank alcohol like water. The feelings like justice, conscience, loyalty and chastity had been forgotten. They were adherent to meaningless and superstitious things they themselves had made up so much that only a divine power and the revolution of a prophet could change them by dissuading them from their customs and by teaching them humanity.

The Prophet (pbuh) saved those stubborn tribes who were adherent to their customs from their bad characteristics and savage habits in a very short time in that vast peninsula; he settled the principles of high ethics. He transformed them into individuals that became guides for the world and pioneers for the civilized nations.

The Companions and believers who spread to the world even in the first century of the Migration taught humanity the real civilization, virtues and ethics. Material development and civilization based on virtue took place thanks to them.

Thanks to the ethics taught by the Messenger of Allah (pbuh), hundreds of millions of people rose in spirituality, attaining bliss both in the world and hereafter. They helped many people who were in need and became means of guidance and happiness for them.

THE CONFESSIONS BY THE ENEMIES OF THE PROPHET ABOUT HIS ETHICS

Even the ferocious enemies of the Prophet (pbuh) who attempted to kill him confessed that he was honest, always kept his promise, kept the things entrusted to him and had high virtues; they could not cast a slur on him.

Once, Abu Jahl said to the Prophet (pbuh), "O Muhammad! We do not deny you; we deny what you have brought."

Ahnas bin Sharik, who was one of the notables of Quraysh, approached Abu Jahl on the way to Badr when there was nobody else around and said to him,

"O Abul-Hakam! There is nobody else except you and me here to hear us. Will you tell me about your view on Muhammad? Is he honest or is he a liar?"

Abu Jahl swore and said, "By Allah! Muhammad is definitely honest. He has never told a lie." Thus, he could not help praising him.

Once, Nadr bin Harith, who sometimes criticized and insulted the Prophet (pbuh), gathered the notables of the polytheists and addressed them as follows:

"O Quraysh! A situation has arisen which you cannot deal with. Muhammad was a young man most liked among you, most truthful in speech, and most trustworthy, until, when you saw grey hairs on his temple, and he brought you his message, you said he was a sorcerer, poet and that he was possessed but he is not."

Similar confessions were also made by Westerners. Although they did not believe in the Prophet (pbuh) and did not accept Islam, they could not help praising him and mentioning his high virtues.

For instance, in his book called Mahomed Und Sien Werk, Daumer writes the following:

"Muhammad acted and united in himself great and noble qualities. Illuminated by the divine light, endowed with an inflexible will-power and an ardent spirit, tempered by compassion, charity and tenderness ; he undertook the difficult mission and the stupendous struggles connected with it, and he did not rest until he had attained what he wanted : until Arabia professed his Faith. His behavior became now the standard for his people also after his death."

Lamartine, the famous French historian and poet, states the following in his book called "L'Histoire da la Turquie":

"His life, his meditations, his heroic revilings against the superstitions of his country, and his boldness in defying the furies of idolatry, his firmness in enduring them for thirteen years at Makkah, his acceptance of the role of public scorn and almost of being a victim of his fellow countrymen: all these and finally, his migration, his incessant preaching, his wars against odds, his faith in his success and his superhuman security in misfortune, his forbearance in victory, his ambition, which was entirely devoted to one idea and in no manner striving for an empire, his endless prayers, his mystic conversations with God, his death and his triumph after death – all these…(served) to affirm conviction which gave him power to restore a creed."

"That is Muhammed (pbuh). Can there be a greater person than him no matter what criterion is used to measure the greatness of man?"

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armageddon-generation · 6 years

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Making an arc out of series 11 (and other fixes)

I DON’T MEAN TO HATE - I genuinely really liked this TARDIS team, Jodie has completely won me over and the episodes not written by Chibnall were great - but this series does have several frustrating Issues.

One recurring problem I see people having is that the finale didn't feel climactic because there was little build up.

A few ways to fix this :

The Woman Who Fell to Earth

Just improve Tim Shaw - alter his design so he’s not just a black robot-man - take the tooth idea and do something like the Sycorax?

Change the ball of electricity into an actual creature - then establish Tim Shaw’s abusive relationship with it, taking out his viciousness on this helpless slave, because he’s a coward

This mster/beasty relationship would give Tim more character and make him easier to hate

It also establishes the running theme of the Stenza altering/controlling other creatures - it gives them a distinctive ‘gimmick’ like Dalek extermination and Cyberman conversion, which we can expand on in The Ghost Monument, The Tsuranga Conundrum and The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos

The Ghost Monument

Establish the threat of the Stenza - ravaged worlds better (show us the flesh eating water instead of telling us about it and have more time with the Remnants instead of those boring robots)

Do this by giving Desolation (which is out of orbit) short, irregular days (5 hours, 3 hours) so the threat of the Remnants is always there - build tension and character at day (the “Mum told me to jump” speech) and have scary chase sequences during the two night sections

The Stenza using Desolation to create weapons of mass destruction reminds the Doctor of the Time Lords' tactics in the Time War, (that's why she's so interested in the planet) and establish that Yaz wants to know what happened to the Doctor's people/family

One of the racers should've had their planet stolen, not just enslaved, to establish the mystery of the planets Tim Shaw is stealing

Show their desperation by having the racers actually compete and fight with each other, with Team TARDIS stuck in the middle. Both characters believe they deserve the prize because they've suffered and lost more.

Yaz separates them, directly paralleling her intro scene in episode 1 - from parking disputes to this.

GIVE 13 HER BIG MOMENT because I waited until literally the last line of the series to understand where she's coming from. 13 is the joyous explorer, she doesn't have time for wallowing in angst, there's too much universe out there to see.

Something like: "It's not about what you've lost, that doesn't make you better than him! All that matters now is what's ahead. What are you going to do if you win, where will it take you? Have you even thought about it? Because maybe, just maybe, if you stopped pitying yourself you could make something good from this. Yes, you're family is gone and I'm sorry. But just because they're dead doesn't mean your life should stop too. Move forward."

This helps Chibnall's 'Fresh Start' mandate because it establishes 13 as completely different from RTD and Moffat's Doctors (especially 10 and 12) who felt a sense of superiority because of their past pain. It also ties into Ryan and Graham letting go of Grace.

The TARDIS went to Desolation in the first place because it wanted to help the planet (remember she has personality) - 13 realises this once they reunite.

We've previously established the TARDIS can change the weather, and it's had thousands of years on Desolation to prepare calculations etc, so have a sequence at the end where they show off to the new conpanions and terraform the planet, reversing the Stenza's damage

Post - credits scene / stinger - while the companions explore the TARDIS, show 13 viewing the footage the TARDIS collected over thousands of years of the Stenza violating the planet - she doesn't look happy, but then Yaz calls her for a tour and she puts on the bright smile again.

Yaz

I think Team TARDIS in series 11 was meant to be split between the familial relationship between Ryan and Graham, with the standard swept-off-her-feet almost-romance between the Doctor and Yaz in the background. They didn't focus on Thasmin much because I think Chibnall assumed 'oh, we've seen this before'

SHOW THE GROWTH OF YAZ AND THE DOCTOR'S RELATIONSHIP. IT SHOULDN'T BE ROMANTIC (YET) BUT JUSTIFY THEIR DEVOTION TO EACH OTHER

Because Yaz is a police officer have her 'investigate' the Doctor's past - especially her family, as that's an important part of her character and theme in the series as a whole. Since Chibnall loves Classic they could mention Susan

This makes 13 telling Yaz about her Granny in It Takes You Away an important milestone in their relationship

Yaz to Ryan about the Doctor's family:

Thirteen's character

People complaining Jodie isn't unique enough kind of have a point, but the seeds are there:

I like the idea of 13 being easily distracted and careless ("I'm almost going to miss you." / "Hi Yaz, forgot you were there."). Her being slow to trust contrasts nicely with Jodie's infectious enthusiasm. Have Yaz's role be keeping 13 focused, grounded and on-track when she needs to be.

Also! I've seen the idea thrown around 13 is only acting all bright and chipper. It'd be really interesting if she prioritises Team TARDIS' emotional wellbeing over her own

This way we have parallel arcs - Yaz gets the Doctor to open up as Ryan gets closer to Graham

13 and her Sonic

13 is meant to be a tinkerer, but we don’t see much evidence of this outside building the Sonic

So she wears a tool belt

The belt is TARDIS-like (bigger on the inside) and 13 pulls things out of it like Mary Poppins’ carpet bag

13 pulls bits of scrap out of the belt and cobbles things together when she’s excited / nervous / talking (pipe cleaner helicopters! Catapults! Wind-up mice!)

This distinguishes her from 11, who also did a lot of hand-flapping and is already superficially similar personality-wise

More floofy/fly-away haired 13! It makes her seem more energetic, constantly in motion, which really suits her.

The popular headcanon is that the Sonic works randomly (one episode it can do things, the next it can’t) because over the years the Doctor has added so many features they’ve overloaded it. So now she’s got a new Sonic, 13 is constantly fiddling with it/adding new features

Address the NuWho Doctors’ over-reliance on the Sonic - 13 keeps expecting the Sonic to do things but because it’s new hardware, it can’t, and she has to solve problems on her own

A running gag where 13 goes ‘watch this, gang’ and the Sonic does something completely opposite what she wanted and now they have to improvise

In the finale the Sonic finally works properly and 13 uses it to beat Tim Shaw

Occasionally (in an episode opening) 13 makes weird machines without knowing what the fuck they do:

13: [holding up a small device] Does this look familiar? Do you know what it is? Neither do I. I made it last night in my sleep. Apparently I used Gindrogac. Highly unstable.

Yaz: Doctor…

13 : I put at button on it. Yes. I want to press it, but I’m not sure what will happen if I do.

Ryan: [runs for cover]

13 and Graham

In Series 11, 13 always seemed annoyed by Graham (“Don’t kill the vibe”) and never seemed to grow past it.

Suggest 13 is living vicariously by helping Graham reconnect with Ryan – the Doctor first started travelling in the TARDIS to connect with their grandchild, so this is 13 coming full-circle

13 notices how good and Granddad Graham is trying to be for Ryan, and as he grows braver she comes to really respect him.

Graham becomes her confidant – he’s the only one 13 shows her age to, and she helps Graham begin again: They talk about how the Doctor has had to reinvent and regenerate themselves again and again because the universe needs them – much as Ryan needs Graham. 13 has lots of experience moving past loss, and they support each other through the pressure of being responsible (for Ryan and Yaz respectively)

Ryan

Have the Doctor and Ryan's relationship develop - in The Woman Who Fell to Earth they suggested 13 would take a nurturing parental role for him ("That's the kind of thing Grace would've said") but it's not really built on. All the pieces are there (him being immature and using weapons in the beginning)

Ryan and 13 have a sibling-like relationship - she teaches him about life and the universe - have 13′s use of slang (skillz with a z) come from Ryan having fun teaching slang to a socially inept alien

also maybe a reccuring joke about Ryan going for a fist-bump and 13 patting his fist, that pays off by the finale

Does anyone remember Ryan and Yaz went to Primary school together? Capitalise on that. When Ryan talks about how his Dad left him in Tsuranga and It Takes You Away, make it explicit that she understands because she saw Ryan go through it as a kid, and remembers what it did to him emotionally

A common complaint about Ryan is that he rarely actually does anything - he just stands there and says "they're gone!" or "it's a spaceship!". So have this be part of his character. In the early episodes have Yaz be the most active companion (allowing her to develop!), with Ryan (nervous about his dyspraxia) in the background, and have him become more and more active and competent as the series goes on.

Episode Order

For this to work I suggest shuffling the episodes - 1, 2, 8, 4, 6, 5, 7, 3, 9, 10

10 60-minute episodes to fit the new stuff in and give the large cast more room. The Woman Who Fell to Earth (60 minutes) was Chibnall's best script.

This way series 11 gets the same screen time as the 12 episode Capaldi series

Instead of 2 trailers for the next episode (one pre and one post credits) insert a post-credits stinger hinting at arcy things

The Witchfinders (We’re Going on a Witch-Hunt)

Swap Rosa and The Witchfinders around. We can get the 'female discrimination' thing out of the way faster (it felt weird they didn't explicitly address it until episode 8). Yaz and 13 can bond over their shared oppression (this is the first time the Doctor realises what history is like for her female companions - for the first time, they are of equal status and must work as a team).

Also have Yaz, the POLICE OFFICER, be personally offended by the miscarriage of Justice in the Witch Trials, and defend the victims - relate it to her experience on the job (maybe touch on domestic abuse?) instead of the cliche bullying story

The villains being escaped convicts from a prison also links to Yaz's character and job - contrast her applying police protocol to the Morax (she never had a case this big at home!) with 13's "fuck it, time to wave the glowy science stick' attitude - Yaz forces 13 to be disciplined, 13 forces Yaz to think outside the box and bend the rules

Arachnids in the UK (Spiders in Sheffield)

Still episode 4 - this needs a complete rewrite IMO, but for starters make the Trump parallel less explicit and cringey

Address Yaz has left her job as a police officer behind - she goes into work (with 13 as her ‘consultant’) and learns about people disappearing - we meet the spider expert at the Police Station, (because Yaz’s neighbour being the only victim AND working in that spider lab was too big a coincidence)

The expert is being ignored because the disappearances are higher priority, so low-ranking Yaz gets stuck with her

The spiders have spread all over Sheffield, not just the one flat and all around Yaz’s building

Have Ryan, Yaz and the Doctor go to meet Yaz’s mum at the hotel while Graham is mourning Grace in their nearby flat

When the spreading spiders reach Yaz’s family, Graham goes to help them, showing how brave 13 has helped him become.

We now have two tension-filled scenarios:

A home invasion subplot where Graham helps Yaz’s family keep the spiders out of their flat. Use this to flesh out and make her sister and Dad likeable - Graham comforts them when they’re scared, calling back to Grace's last line "promise you won't be scared without me" - 13 has helped him!

13 and Co being chased around the hotel (PROPERLY chased - the spiders use webs to cut off corridors and herd them around like rats in a maze)

YAZ GETS TAKEN BY THE SPIDERS - this is the moment 13 realises how attached she is to her new friends. She and Mrs Kahn work together to go and save Yaz from the Spiders’ nest (eliminating that annoying Jackie Tyler “you’re endangering my kid” trope) while Ryan uses his music to draw the spiders away

13 gets to see Mrs Kahn’s maternal affection and we see her desire for family. Ryan’s music draws the Spiders back and saves Graham and Yaz’s family

When Ryan and Graham reunite it’s very emotional - Ryan saved Graham’s life - ‘looking out for each other’

Finally have the Doctor save the Spiders by using the TARDIS as an Ark, instead of leaving them to die - call back to Planet of the Spiders and drop them off there

Since she's at home, once they’ve saved everyone have Yaz do girly things with the Doctor (because they haven't been able to rest since episode 1) - maybe nail painting? Only 13 starts using the varnish as finger paint. Also! I like the idea of them choosing 13's earring together bc 13 has no clue about jewelry

Demons of the Punjab

This should be episode 5, because it's connected to 4 by Yaz's family and together they provide a nice rounding-off of the half of the series more focused on her

The Thijarians have had their planet stolen, not just destroyed (it would still kill everyone)

That way when we see the hologram of what happened to their planet we establish the threat of what will happen to the Earth if Tim Shaw wins in the finale

(the powder they have can still be the stuff left over afterwards)

Also it's weird that Yaz goes to see her Grandmother, who she discovers remarried, and Ryan doesn't react at all.

Ryan has nothing to do in this episode, and because we're putting Punjab earlier in the series, Grace's loss is fresher. Give him a moral dilemma: He wants to go back and see her when she was young (and with her first husband - implicitly rejecting Graham) like Yaz is seeing her Gran

After seeing what happens to Yaz's family, and seeing Graham's caring reaction to Prem, he follows 13's advice and gives up on seeing Grace again - he's content with Graham

He bonds with Yaz over the episode and warns her not to take family for granted. At the end Yaz takes him to meet her Gran in the present day ("I was lucky enough to know yours")

The Tsuranga Conundrum (The Good Doctors)

Have the medical ship be a war ambulance helping victims of the Stenza's conquest

The general on board has fought the Stenza

Cut her brother and the 2nd nurse, they're unnecessary - have the ship be understaffed because of the strain the Stenza are putting on the medical service, give the engineering role to 13

The asteroid field they have to fly through (which we should ACTUALLY SEE) is not just an asteroid field but the wreckage left behind by another missing planet.

Replace the P'ting. It may be cute but the vast majority of people thought it was ridiculous. Instead have it be a Stenza weapon left over as the ship is flying through an old battleground - it can still be small and destroy the ship from the inside out, but its design can be more threatening and it can be more sympathetic (it was experimented on/created to kill, it isn't evil)

13 tries to pilot the ship first but can't because she's wounded. She has to rely on Team TARDIS and delegate the usual ‘Doctor’ roles. She faces off against the tactical P’ting, trying to fix the ship as fast as it disassembles it, while Yaz runs around trying to catch the thing, and Ryan and Graham take care of the passengers

The sonic STAYS BROKEN so 13 has to do this all by hand

Once 13 is told the Stenza are still out there hurting people, introduce a subplot over the next 3 episodes before the finale where she's sneaking off at night to go and help fight them (without the others knowing, because they're too emotionally biased)

The next episodes (Kerblam!, Rosa) gradually shift the focus onto Ryan's growth as he becomes more active

It Takes You Away

Add 13 and Graham - now close friends - talking about grandkids, and put more emphasis on 13′s reaction to the abandoned girl

This sets up the Solitract turning into Susan, the Doctor’s granddaughter, instead of the frog at the end

You don’t require previous NuWho knowledge to know about Susan - she has barely been mentioned.

Have her be played by the actress from An Adventure in Space and Time, like David Bradley as the First Doctor

This way we directly address the theme of grandchildren and family

The Solitract is a link to 13's childhood and family. It's also another omnipotent consciousness she can relate to (think 9 and Bad Wolf - "That's what I feel, all the time!"). Finding that and immediately letting it go must be traumatising

Have a quick scene of Yaz catching 13 crying, but she quickly covers up because Graham just saw Grace and he's distraught

Finale (Battle Phantoms)

When they arrive on the battlefield 13 accidentally reveals she's been helping fight the Stenza offscreen (which is how she knows about this battle - one of the ones she was too late for)

This lie infuriates Graham - she's been blocking his revenge for ages

BIG EMOTIONAL MOMENT

13: Maybe I am a liar, and I promised I wouldn't be, but that's because I know what it's like, Graham. To want to hurt the people who hurt you. How that anger burns like fire, like a supernova. And it took me so long to get over it, so long to move on. Whole lifetimes wasted hurting and hating. I didn't want that to happen to you. No one deserves to be broken twice.

This gives Graham a legitimate reason to go against 13 without announcing his intention to kill Tim Shaw like an idiot. It also plays up 13's hypocrisy, which was touched on in the original script

What was the point of 9 distress calls if they're all in the same place?? Use this pportunity to split team TARDIS up and showcase how they've grown as individuals before bringing them back together (Ryan and Graham, Yaz and 13) for the 3rd Act

Graham being on his own drives up the tension over whether he'll kill Tim Shaw - Ryan gets there just in time

Explicitly call back to the moment in The Ghost Monument when Ryan used a gun - highlight how far he's come because of 13, talking Graham down

Get rid of the robots, because they weren't in The Ghost Monument now, and they turned the intimate story into an action movie.

Over the series we've established the Stenza genetically engineer other creatures into weapons (the Remnants, the P'ting, the cable ball in The Woman Who Fell to Earth). Replace the robots with scary leftovers from the Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos (because that title was irrelevant to the original episode) - Think the Hand Mines from The Magician's Apprentice

Have each of the missing planets throughout the series be named - that way when we discover the stolen planets in the finale there is emotional impact because their being stolen has caused so much suffering.

This way not only are the Stenza a lot more threatening because they are present throughout the series, there is more build up to seeing Tim Shaw again

Also, the subplot about returning the planets is more emotionally impactful - the Doctor is retroactively providing closure to lots of the side characters from the series

Finally the threat to Earth is much greater - the companions have seen what losing your planet does to a person emotionally, and they fear that

WHEN THE EARTH IS THREATENED CALL BACK TO YAZ'S FAMILY SO WE FEEL SOMETHING

Also the continuing thread of missing /lost planets could link to Galifrey, raising 13's emotional stakes

Multiple people have complained the plot thread about the planet attacking you psychically and erasing your memories went nowhere - when 13 and Yaz take those devices off they get slight headaches

Instead have the planet actually attack them - 13 and Yaz have to remind each other of their memories and their families - exposing Yaz to a rare snapshot of the Doctor’s lonely childhood on Galifrey

This gives Jodie the opportunity to do some SERIOUS DRAMATIC ACTING, and finally opening up about Galifrey to the whole TARDIS team at the end gives an emotional climax to her relationship with them, as well as the relationship between Ryan and Graham

The Fam line is cute, but we need ACTION to evidence this growth - this way throughout the series we’ve established how much family means to 13, how much she wants that, and Yaz saying “I’ve always liked fam” means so much because it means she understands 13 as a person

Resolution

Change how the Dalek got split.

Medieval humans killing a Dalek on their own is ridiculous and makes itr less threatening. Instead, have the Dalek be a scout from the Time War, looking to attack Earth to distract the War Doctor. The Doctor, furious, rushes over and helps the human armies divide it, to stop the Time War spreading to his second home.

We’re told this legend by the archaeologists, positioning the Doctor as a vengeful wizard. We can get a flashback with the War Doctor as a dark silhouette on a hill or something.

This makes the “it’s personal” stuff even truer

Use the archaeologists and dig site to expand on the Dalek race’s impact on humanity, because they’ve visited Earth dozens of times. I’m thinking wall paintings depicting the Dalek Shell as a Divine war chariot, and the mutant as a Cthulhu-like God

This way we’re really throwing Team TARDIS in the deep end - they are immediately aware of the number of times the Doctor has fought the Daleks, which is completely different to the rest of series 11, where 13 was encountering everything for the first time

Change the junkyard Dalek shell.

The Scout goes to a storage facility where pieces of its shell are stored. Now this place is owned by the modern incarnation of the cult we’ve set up who worshipped the Dalek in ancient times (their logo is the same symbol found on the wall paintings)

Instead of killing the gay (AGAIN), have the company staff welcome and exult the Dalek - only for it to turn around and kill them all, establishing its racial superiority complex. (This is something Chibnall glossed over - his Dalek wanted to conquer like anyone else, not exterminate)

The company has collected the remains of dozens of different Dalek models from invasions across the show’s history (we still have the parallel to 13 making her Screwdriver)

The Dalek reassembles itself not using Earth metal, but into a Frankenstein’s monster welded together from different Dalek designs (classic 60s, Imperial, Special Weapons, Time War, Supreme, Progenitor)

When the Dalek and 13 face each other this one Scout now represents the entire Dalek race, every type the Doctor has ever fought. The idea of it stitching itself together is also a nice parallel to Regeneration

Destroy the Dalek by separating all the different sections - use Ryan’s dad’s technical skills but don’t have all of Team TARDIS rush the Dalek without getting killed - them pushing it around immediately removed any threat.

Emotional Impact

Seeing the remains of all the Daleks the Doctor has killed at the storage facility and hearing the stories of the War Doctor makes Team TARDIS reconsider 13

Police officer Yaz realises she is devoted to a murderer, and considers whether she wants to get closer to such a person

To make the Dalek more impactful to both Team TARDIS and the new audience that has only watched Series 11, when Graham asks why it’s so dangerous have 13 say something along the lines of “the Daleks are my Stenza”

Graham realises why 13 stopped him killing Tim Shaw in series 11, and (considering his Dad must’ve fought in WW2) gains a new level of respect for her

Don’t have Ryan immediately forgive his Dad and declare that he loves him - set up that he’s willing to give his Dad a second chance as an arc for series 12 - the push and pull between Graham and Ryan reconnecting with his Dad

The Scout is trying to complete its original mission, bringing the Tile War to Earth - 13 has to literally defend her freinds from the ghost of the War and finally let go of her violent past (personified by the War Doctor). She’s also letting go of the deified, Messiah-like version of herself (represented by the wall paintings of the Doctor’s battle with the Dalek) that RTD and Moffat loved

13’s arc is worrying learning about the Daleks and their toxic relationship will change the way her friends look at her, because she’s been trying to protect them from this side of her life (it’s revealed she’s been deliberately avoiding places she’s been before because she’s looking for a fresh start)

By now Ryan and Graham are getting along fine, they’ve avenged Grace’s murder and Ryan is now talking to his Dad. 13 worries everyone has outgrown her, and they’ll leave

Have a scene at the end where Yaz comforts 13 and assures her she won’t abandon her - 13 doesn’t need to save their lives for them to want to travel with her - it’s their job to save her. They are here because they care about her.

This way we get a new emotional climax of 13′s emotional arc and reaffirm the status-quo for Series 12

Improving Matt Smith’s era here

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