#and i was so sad about it but what can i do? nothing

[f1goat]

roommates ; lando norris + part six

In which you have to live with your brothers best friend who you really don't like, Lando Norris, and his many 'girlfriends' for a while, but there's always a thin line between love and hate.

masterlist - playlist

lando norris x fem!verstappen reader tw: smut & not proofread

You don’t know whether to laugh or to cry when you hear the girl talking to Lando. He’s barely responding to her, but still. It’s so clear to you. Lando doesn’t care about you. That silly crush of yours? You need to get rid of it. How faster, how better. When they walk inside the living room, it doesn’t take longer then a second for Lando to see you sitting on the couch. 

While Lando is busy staring at you and thinking about what to say, you can’t stop looking at the girl he bought home with him. Is it bad that she kinda reminds you of yourself? She’s wearing the same sort of dress you were wearing on your ‘date’ with your ex. Her hair is the same color and about as long as yours. It must be a coincidence. 

Lando feels so ashamed right now. The night he goes for the most pathetic way, is the night you see it happen. Fucking hell. He hasn’t drunk enough to handle with this. When he saw Emily earlier at the club, at least if he got her name right, he could only see the dress she’s wearing. Exactly like yours from earlier. Then he saw how she had some other things that reminded him of you. It felt like the only solution for tonight. 

“Uh,” Emily clearly feels the tension between Lando and you. “She’s not your girlfriend right?” She asks awkwardly. 

“No,” you quickly reply. 

Lando doesn’t even know what to say. He can only feel ashamed right now. Fuck. You keep looking at Emily and him. He knows that you see it as well, it’s not hard to miss that Emily looks like you. This is embarrassing. It feels even more embarrassing that she’s a cheap knockoff compared to you. He lets out an annoyed sigh. Fuck, he really fucked things up with this. 

Now that he thinks about it, he wonders why he even brought the girl home with him. How longer he looks at her, how less she reminds him of you. Tonight was about proving that you’re wrong, not about proving the other way around. Why did he even bring her with him? It’s desperate, really.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” you softly say while standing up from the couch. Is it that bad that you’re disappointed in this? You feel like some sort of fool. Why did you even wait up? Why did you want to know about this? You feel yourself getting more sad with the second. Slowly you walk away. When you walk past Lando, he’s quick to grab your shoulder. It makes you even more sad. 

“Don’t leave like this,” he softly says, “Let’s talk.”

You feel the anger running through your veins right now. You aren’t thinking about what you’re saying right now. “I don’t think your girlfriend is here to talk,” you sneer to him, “and neither am I. Not anymore at least.”

“Let me explain,” Lando pleas with a soft voice.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you state, “We’re nothing. It’s not like we’re friends or anything. You lied to me before, I don’t trust you anymore. We’re even less then nothing now.”

“Don’t act like this,” Lando replies. You see the pain in his eyes, but for now you don’t care about that. He did this to himself. He’s the one who bought her home, not you. If it’s up to you he feels all kind of pain right now, he deserves it. 

“Don’t act like what?” You ask annoyed, “Can’t I tell you that we’re not friends, or anything else? Or can’t I tell you that I don’t care about you? You do you Lando. I really don’t give a fuck. So go have sex with your new girlfriend over here.”

“Shut up,” Lando groans. 

“Or what?” You reply angrily. 

“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” Lando continues. 

“I mean every word of what I just said,” you lie. Of course you don’t mean anything about it. You thought that Lando and you were finally becoming friendly with each other, you even hoped for more. Fuck this is really bad. It even pains you to say those words to him, but you don’t feel like you have another choice. 

“Stop lying,” Lando says with a louder voice this time. He almost seems angry this time. The frustration is obvious. 

“I don’t care Lando. Do whatever you want, go fuck with her or another girl. I really don’t care about it,” you tell him with the same frustration, “just make sure that you’re not moaning out my name again.” 

“Shut up,” Lando groans. The angry undertone in his voice is getting more clear now. You match it.

“Make me,” you reply angrily. 

You’re painfully aware about how close Lando and you are standing towards each other. He isn’t holding your shoulder anymore, but you feel every breath of him on your face. At this moment you want nothing more then for Lando to snap. It feels like you’re pretty close to make that happen. You wonder what will happen next. Will he scream at you? Or would he shut you up another way? Some way you prefer?

Lando takes a step closer towards you. His nose is almost pressed against yours. The space between to two of you gets only smaller. You wonder if you need to say something else, but then Lando continues to talk. 

“You want me to shut you up?” He asks you. His voice isn’t angry anymore, it doesn’t even seems frustrated anymore. It’s almost scarily calm for what’s happening. You notice how Lando doesn’t look away from you. The girl he bought home with him is still here, but it seems like Lando has forgotten about her. Not that you mind. Why hasn’t she left yet anyway?

“Yes,” you state boldly. 

Lando doesn’t think about the possible outcomes of his next movement. He stops thinking about everything he wants to do right now and for once just does something. Still annoyed and frustrated with the whole evening - and mostly with himself, he finally snaps. He grabs your waist, and pulls you almost into himself. Before you can react he lifts up your chin with a soft, but forceful movement. He gives you one last look in the eyes before closing his own eyes and slamming his lips against yours. 

You didn’t expect him to do this. Fuck, you really didn’t. But it’s insane how good it feels. Lando his lips are soft, even softer then you thought they would be. His kiss reflects the way he’s feeling, it’s messy but it does fit the moment. You can probably kiss him like this for the rest of the night.  And many nights more. If he would let you. Maybe it isn’t Lando who doesn’t support that idea, it’s the girl from earlier who distracts you from each other. 

“What the fuck!” She loudly screams. “Why did you even bring me here?” She continues to ask, “This is fucking insane.” 

“Just leave,” Lando sighs annoyed. He doesn’t move away from you in the mean time. You’re still trapped in his arms. Without saying a word, but with a small grin plastered on your face, you watch everything amused. It seems like she doesn’t want to leave like this. The girl is still fuming and making all kind of remarks at Lando. While he only tries to get her to leave. 

Eventually Lando needs to let go of you to walk her outside. You still hear her screaming in the hallway. It makes you giggle. Of course, it’s bad that Lando treated her like this - but for once, you’re glad about it. It would be way worse if he fucked her. You hear the front door close, after that there’s a peaceful silence. No more screams from the girl. No more arguments between Lando and you. 

When Lando returns to you, he’s busy thinking about what to do next. Should he continue with what he was doing? Or should he apologize? He has no idea what you think about all of this. What if he kissed you without you agreeing with it? When he sees you leaning on the wall and waiting for him with a small, but really satisfied grin plastered on your face, Lando is quick to forget about all his worries. He rushes himself back to you, only to press his lips on yours for the second time that night. 

“You drive me fucking crazy,” he grunts after pulling back.

“Says you,” you reply softly.

Lando doesn’t reply verbally this time. He softly pins you against the wall and presses his lips against yours for the third time tonight. Now that he knows how it feels to kiss with you, he never wants to stop with it. He can’t miss this feeling. 

You can safely state that you have never been kissed better then this. It’s not like you want to give yourself hope, but Lando kisses you like there’s no-one else he ever wants to kiss again. You can only hope that it actually is that way. Mainly because you’re sure that you never want to kiss anyone else again if it isn’t Lando. 

“Fuck Lan,” you softly whimper when he pulls back again. 

He looks at you. The way he stares at you makes you shiver. His eyes pierce through yours. “What babygirl?” Lando asks you. He’s afraid that you have come to your senses, that he should stop this. You probably don’t want this, he guesses. 

“Don’t stop,” you softly tell him with red cheeks. 

“Sorry, I’ll stop,” Lando mutters a bit disappointed. You show him a confused look, didn’t he hear you? You don’t even know why he’s thinking about stopping. The only good thing about him mishearing you, is that he seems disappointed to stop. That’s interesting. 

“I said don’t stop,” you tell him a bit louder this time. 

This time it’s Lando who shows you a confused look. He has no idea what’s happening to him. Before he can even ask if you’re sure, you already surprise him again. This time it’s you who pulls him closer towards yourself. Lando doesn’t even know what’s happening anymore. It seems like you do want this as well? He thought you lost yourself in the moment, but now he’s not so sure about that anymore. 

He can’t help himself anymore now. His tongue is inside your mouth and battling yours for dominance. Lando can’t hold himself back. If this is the only night he’ll experience this, he needs to experience as much of you as he can. When you let out a soft moan during making out with Lando, it only arouses him more. He feels his pants tighten around a particular spot. Softly he pins you against the wall again. He removes his lips from yours, only to connect them with your neck. 

It makes you let out a soft moan. How is Lando making you feel like this in only a matter of time? You must be losing your mind. Your focus is quick to disappear when Lando his hands start to explore your body as well. His hands are everywhere, at least that’s how it feels like. 

“Let me make it up to you,” he eventually tells you. 

“Make it up to me?” You ask confused. What’s he talking about. 

“For bringing her home,” Lando confesses, “I really shouldn’t have done that.”

Slowly you nod. “That’s a lot to make up for,” you softly say. 

Lando nods as well. “Thank god we have a lot of time,” he jokes. You show him a small grin. That’s enough confirmation for him right now. Within seconds he picks you up. You’re surprised about his strength. He’s actually walking you to his room like this. When you reach his bedroom, Lando softly drops you onto his bed. He joins you on the bed, hovering above you while pressing kisses on your cheeks, forehead, nose and every other spot he can find to press his lips against. 

It takes you a lot to withhold yourself from letting out loud moans whenever Lando does something. When Lando kisses you against your neck and softly sucks on a small bit of your skin, you can’t hold them back anymore. You let out a loud moan. 

“Lan,” you softly whimper.

“You better keep calling me that,” Lando softly tells you. You show him a small smile. He let himself down on the bed next to you. You’re quick to move yourself closer towards Lando. Within a couple seconds you have yourself pressed up against him again. Lando looks at you full lust. “Needy babygirl?” Lando asks you. 

You can only nod. You feel your cheeks redden up. It almost feels embarrassing, but you really can’t stop feeling like this right now. The things Lando is doing to you, while almost doing nothing to you, are actually insane. Lando moves himself again. This time he positions himself sitting right next to you. Softly he pulls you up as well. He toys with the hem of your sweater, looking at you with questioning eyes while doing so. You show him a small nod, hoping that he understands the hint. He does. Slowly Lando pulls off your sweater. 

When he sees that you’re wearing nothing underneath your sweater, he softly gasps. “Fuck babygirl,” he mutters while looking at your boobs. He notices the way your nipples have hardened, he wants nothing more then to put them into his mouth. For now he withholds himself from actually doing so. He does however move his attention towards your leggings. Suddenly he can’t think about anything else then seeing you naked. 

It’s you who is quick to discard the leggings you were wearing. Lando can’t believe his eyes when you start to pull of the leggings. When the leggings have joined your sweater on the floor, Lando can’t stop staring at you anymore. Softly he lets his hands wander over your body, stopping by your string. After this there’s no way back. Not that he can trust himself to stop now, but after seeing you completely naked he’s sure that he can’t stop anymore. 

You let out a soft moan when Lando traces your string with his fingers. “Take it off please,” you beg Lando. 

“Sure babygirl?” Lando asks you, “Because I don’t think I can stop myself anymore after seeing you naked.” He needs to know for sure that you want this as well. 

“Please,” you continue to beg, “Just take if off already.”

Lando doesn’t need to know anything else for now. He is quick to pull down your string. When he tosses it on the floor as well, he can’t tear his eyes of you. You’re beautiful. Words are leaving his mouth rather quickly, he can’t even think about what he’s saying anymore. 

“You look so beautiful,” he murmurs. You show him a small smile. “Imagined this for years,” he grunts, “You look even better then in my dreams.” Is Lando confessing that he dreamt about you? What’s going on? “Can I touch you?” Lando suddenly asks you, you’re quick to stammer out a yes. 

Lando is quick to come into action after hearing your yes. Suddenly he’s everywhere at once. You feel him exploring your naked body. His lips are pressing kisses on your neck, but he’s fast to move down lower. Eventually he reaches your boobs. He sends you one more asking look to know you’re sure about this, which you are quick to confirm to. After that Lando closes his lips around one of your nipples, while softly kneading your other tit. It causes you to let out a loud moan, something that Lando seems to like. 

Everything is getting to much for you rather quickly. It’s been a while since the last time you’ve had sex and with a thin walled room next to Lando, masturbating wasn’t one of your options lately. The way Lando discovers your body is making you lose your mind. You need to feel him as well. You start to toy with the hem of his shirt, trying to make clear to him that he should take it off. Lando doesn’t budge. 

When Lando moves down on your body again and presses kisses against your lower stomach, you’re sure that you’ll be losing your mind. When one of his kisses is almost pressed against your cunt, you almost let out a scream. Fuck it’s actually insane how much you need him to do something to you. Who would have thought that Lando is the one who can make you feel like this? Now that you think of it, you’re not that surprised. 

“Ohh Lan,” you softly moan out when Lando gets even closer towards your more private parts. Lando lets out a low groan. “I need to taste you,” Lando grunts. 

“Please do,” you moan. 

That’s all Lando needed to hear. He dresses himself down in no time. His shirt and pants join your clothes on the bedroom floor. Then he spread your legs for himself. “Such a pretty cunt,” Lando softly mutters while looking at you. He really can’t believe that this is happening. 

“Do something,” you softly beg. 

Lando doesn’t wait any longer anymore. He presses kisses against your cunt in a taunting slow pace. It makes you crazy. “More,” you whimper. Lando listens to you. Like some sort of madman he starts to lick your pussy. His tongue is everywhere at once. You don’t even try to hold back your moans anymore. They are leaving your mouth again and again. It seems that Lando likes it as well. 

“You’re making such pretty sounds for me,” Lando tells you adoringly. It gives you a warm feeling on the inside. You’re probably red already, but otherwise you’d be sure that this would be the reason. “Such a good girl,” Lando continues to praise you. 

Lando slowly lets one of his fingers slide inside of you. Moving it in a rather fast pace while connecting his lips to your clit. Softly he sucks it inside of his mouth. When he releases, you let out a loud moan again. You feel your orgasm getting closer. 

“Fuck me,” you try to order Lando. 

Lando stops his movements. “Fuck you?” He asks you confused.

“I need to feel you inside me,” you confess. 

“What about asking nicely?” Lando asks you teasingly. He always thought you’d be a bit of a brat and it turns out that he’s right. However, what he didn’t expect was how easily it would be to turn you into a begging mess.

“Please Lan,” you beg him without even thinking about it. “Please let me feel you fill me up,” you continue, “Please fuck me.” Begs are leaving your lips like prayers. Lando has never felt so aroused in his life before. He always thought it would be different with you, more intense for sure, but he didn’t expect it to be this much better with you. He’s still wearing his boxers, but he has never felt this close to an orgasm before. You’re making him lose his mind. 

Lando already knows that when he has felt you around his cock for the first time, there’s no one else who would ever feel better around it anymore. He knows for a fact that when he fucks you, he ruins sex for himself for the rest of his life. But still, that doesn’t stop him from pulling down his boxershorts and letting his cock spring to freedom. 

You’re greedily grabbing his boner, needing to feel it in your hands before he puts it inside you. Slowly you stroke his dick, Lando lets out a loud moan. It feels good to pull a sound like this out of him. You want to hear every sound you can get out of him. 

“Princess,” Lando grunts, “You have to stop doing that, otherwise I’ll cum before even fucking you.” 

“Then what are you waiting for?” You ask Lando. Fuck, you feel like a brat but you can’t stop yourself. You never felt like this before. No one ever made you feel like this. Lando can only grin when he hears your remark. 

“Always thought you would be a brat,” he tells you with a dangerously low voice. It makes you even more turned on. “Sorry,” you whimper.

“Never apologize for that babygirl,” Lando is quick to reassure you, “I always liked the thought.” Before you can react again, Lando continues to talk. “And I always liked the thought of you being my brat even more,” he confesses. You don’t know what to say. At this moment you don’t have to say anything, Lando comes closer towards you and starts to line up his cock with your entrance. 

“You still want this?” Lando asks you.

“Please,” you beg.

That’s all Lando needed to hear. He pushes himself inside of you. Within seconds he’s setting a ungodly pace. You can’t even think straight anymore right now. The only thing that’s in your mind is how good Lando is fucking you. Sex never felt like this before. You wonder if anyone else will ever make it feels like this. You don’t think so. Lando is probably ruining you. And you would let him do it again every time he wants to. 

“Fuck,” you whimper when you feel your orgasm reaching again. Lando makes all kind of sounds in the mean time. You love every single one of them. Every small or big grunt, moan and groan makes you even more aroused. 

“You feel fucking perfect,” Lando groans. He increases his pace even more. “I’m so fucking close,” he adds almost ashamed. 

“Me too,” you confess.

Lando didn’t lie about how close he already was. He feels himself almost crashing down because of his upcoming orgasm. He tries to fuck you as hard as he can manage, pushing and pulling in and out of you with a rapid pace. “Fuck,” you almost scream when Lando keeps increasing his pace. “I’m coming,” you tell Lando pretty quickly after that.

You feel the orgasm washing over you. It’s never been as intense as now. Lando tries to pull himself back, remembering for the first time that he didn’t use any kind of protection. Your legs are firmly wrapped on his body, you’re not letting him go. 

“Pill,” you softly explain. Lando nods and pushes himself deeper back into you. He feels his load coming out of him and entering you. 

“Fucking hell babygirl,” Lando grunts a couple minutes later when he feels more relaxed again. His orgasm has left his body. He feels calm again. “That was,” Lando starts a sentence he doesn’t know how to finish. It was so many things, mind-blowing, the best sex of his life and he can go on like this. 

“A mistake,” you finish his sentence. You already feel sad about the words you just said, but you know that it’s for the better to call it a mistake. “This can’t happen again,” you sigh. 

Lando doesn’t know what to think right now. “A mistake?” He asks you confused, “Was it that bad?”

“No,” you’re quick to deny, “I think, no I know that this was the best sex I’ve ever had. But we can’t do this again Lando, I’m not the one for one night stands.”

“I never called this an one night stand,” Lando is quick to tell you. “Let’s talk tomorrow about this babygirl. I want to sleep and I want you next to me.” 

It’s probably the most stupid thing you can do, but you agree to Lando his wishes. You let yourself fall asleep next to Lando. He cuddles up against you and does the exact same thing, but not before wondering how he’s going to make sure that this will happen again. 

a/n; finaaaaally some tension :) there's more to come! hope everyone likes it <3

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[the-tarot-witch22]

Love letter from your future spouse 💌 - Pick a pile

Note : *Some intense se*ual messages for you guys too, soo minors DNI*

Pile 1/Pile 2

Pile 3/ Pile 4

Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to!

Note : This reading is based on my intuition and channeled messages from tarot cards.

I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

*Buy me a kofi*

Pile 1

(The cards I got ace of pentacles, ace of cups, 2 of cups, page of cups, and the fool)

Hello my dearest,

What can I say? I didn't even meet you and yet I still miss you. Am I going mad, my love? I am working towards my goal and I have almost everything i need at the moment but why do I still feel that longing and sadness, am I insane for this? my life has been okay, I work or study and do what needs to be done, but is it weird to say i am searching for you? I hope you feel the same way… sometimes i dream of you or have that romantic dreams where you are there and when i wake up… nothing? It's making me lose my mind, i can't really talk about it with everyone, they will or might think i am just desperate for some shit, but i am not i want something serious, i want you. I have fun too i sometimes go out with my friends we laugh together, but still when I look at them or when they talk about their lovers or text them in front of me, i just miss you.. Am i being too much? probably but i wanted to tell of this to you, I feel like i need some rest or space from everything or just go somewhere where i can be alone with my and your thoughts, but the responsibilities are holding me back , I wish you were here to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. Sometimes I feel like we make some telepathic or some sort of connection and i feel that intense vibrations in my body, I haven't even met you and here I am being vulnerable, But i know you will love this side of me, will you not? I also want to tell you you're doing great and you will achieve everything you have dreamt of please take proper care of yourself, I wanna meet you soon, and have the love , fun i never experienced or had, You know love, what's funny thing is? I never had something serious or people had just taken advantage of me, but you without even meeting you, i can tell you are what i need. Please be patient for me, universe is in work and they will help us meet at divine timing and I can't wait for it. Until then, my love.

Phew so intense they had a lot to say to you, and they seem so sweet, don't they? i wish you meet them soon.

Pile 2:

(the cards I got 3 of cups, the star, 5 of cups and king of cups)

hey ;)

Hello my star, what are you up to nowadays? Are you having fun without me? wait don't answer me that i might get jealous over it, what's wrong with me I am not scaring you away am I? I tend to speak my mind, and show what I feel, because that's how I am. But sincerely tho, i hope you are having fun and celebration and you are enjoying your life, you know this is what we should do? Like just enjoy our times, I know how hectic life can get and we all deserve the break, so do it for you don't let anyone tell you that you are not doing enough because my star , you are and i already swooning over here from the thoughts of you, would you like to hear about my life too? I will tell you what I am doing nowadays, I had lost something precious to me, I know not a way great way to start a conversation right? But i wanna tell you, I lost something, i hate that I did, but to be honest? If it leads me to you , then i am willing to sacrifice anything for it, i wish we could meet sooner, but i know this distance this gap between us only increase our love towards each other, because distance makes heart grows fonder right? Now I wont deny when I lost that thing I was sad and even cried, But now I am healing and your thoughts are helping me? Do you miss me too at the same time? and wonder what we could have been doing if we were together? Because I do. Always. It's not even funny at this point. Gosh your thoughts make me feel all romantic thoughts, you are such a tease by the way hiding away and making desperate for you, don't you worry my star , I will take my revenge when I meet you, sweet revenge, I will tease you so much that you will regret meeting me late, Don't worry I am just kidding, i tend to get intense sometimes, but your thoughts are responsible they make me like this. But right now I am working towards something I am saving money for us our future and maybe kids too? Well, its a conversation for later… But if you don't want kids we can always have pets, right? I want to give you the world, and care for you so much for you. Now, I have to go… Duty calls, but remember I miss you, and I love you even if we haven't met yet.

Pile 2 your fs sounds like a total flirt and a good person, and I love it for you! You guys deserve it <3

Pile 3:

the cards I got (knight of wands, 9 of wands, 3 of wands, 8 of wands)

Hello sexy wanderer,

Do you know what kind of thoughts, I have for you? You my sexy wildcat, you are a pure goddess and you are so beautiful, and what can I say i have such dreams for you, I just wanna tear off your clothes, i will just leave it at that, You feel like a dream come true. Wherever I go I imagine having intense intimate moments with you, and I don't even know why, such a hold you have on me, and guess what we haven't even met yet. I have to say so much to you but i will hold out for now, I don't wanna scare you away, but its totally opposite I don't wanna scare you away but i also want to impress you, I wanna have enjoy small moments with you. I would like to make out and show everyone who you actually love. Not them who stares at your beauty or just wanna have fun with you but me, you chose me, i will show that I am a proud men, and worthy of you, right now I am travelling to far away lands I like doing that you know, but i am gonna coming to meet you soon. And you believe me when i say i will sweep you off your feet and give everything you are worthy of. See you soon.

Wow, they seem too passionate, and you know what? Good for you guys! Their message was short but their energy? give me a fan right now because I need it! They are definitely fire sign and love travelling, and their sexual drive? HIGH. They gave me so much hot kind of energy, I love it for you guys, i totally see you both meeting soon!

Pile 4 :

(the cards I got 4 of pentacles, the magician, ace of wands, strength, The Hermit, 6 of cups, 3 of pentacles)

Sweetheart? Once, we meet I am not letting you go ever, But i will make sure you know that I deserve you, I might make mistakes here and there, but that's just me being foolish or silly, but I never intend to fight with you or hurt you, You know I am a bit overprotective, but if you don't like that I am willing to change my ways for you, Right now there is so much work pressure on me, i feel overwhelmed so I decided to talk with you, even though we are not in each other's lives right now, I feel I can talk to you about anything you make me feel safe like i can be myself, i never had that, it was always me making efforts, but with you i can feel we are each other's light, and I wish we cross each other's path soon, right now i am enjoying my alone time, I am not dating around, I am waiting for you sweetheart, and I have a feeling we will know we are the ones for each other. I feel we have known each other in past lives or we might have each cross each other's path, but that time timing might not be right, And we both needed to learn some lessons before we meet again, and honestly? I'd like that. I wanna be the best men for you. I love you, and for you I am willing to fight anything or anyone, Some people think i am workaholic, but they don't know what I feel, or who i feel for the person i feel for is you, you make me wanna be a better man, i wish there wasn't this much wait for us to meet, I have so much to tell you, Sometimes I end up fighting with my close ones, I regret it, I am a very calm person but when someone provokes me? I can't take it. I am working on that too. And that's why we are having our self journey's together and let's meet at our best, sweetheart. Till then remember I am here waiting for you and trying to be a best person who deserves you. I love you my sweetheart.

Okayyyy, very masculine and hardworking energy, they or you might be spiritual too, you meeting will be for the best, for some of you i feel friends to lovers trope going to be here, your man sounds so sweet yet tired. But he is doing his best, you guys got a gem.

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3

[ghouljams]

@rat1537 got in first here's some Soap angst.

Soap can't take himself or you seriously, you begin to wonder what that means for your relationship.

You pause the show you'd been watching, held close against Soap's side with his thumb stroking your shoulder. It's perfectly comfortable, and absolutely suffocating. If this were any other time you'd be happy to sit and shut out the rest of the world with a man who made you happy. The only problem is you can't shut out the world right now. It's almost impossible to shut it out when you've had such a horrible day. All you really wanted to do was cry to your boyfriend, but when he'd parroted back you, "how was your day" you'd told him what you always told him.

"Fine."

Never mind that you'd just spent the last twenty minutes listening to him bitch about his job and how hard things have been: how he got into a row with Gaz and got put on janitorial, how someone stole his last snack from the barrack's kitchen, how his mum is bothering him about this and that. Just complaint upon complaint. You'd given the right "that's awful" and "I'm so sorry baby" and you'd coached yourself on giving him the same thing, but when it had really come to it you'd faltered. Fine. You're always fine.

You're low maintenance, you're easy, you're the partner that doesn't take any more work than they deserve. Johnny never pushes further, and even when you say you had a rough day he barrels right past you. There's something black behind your ribs, something resentful that makes you wonder if he sees you as a partner or as a therapist he can fuck. So you sit on the couch cuddled close and pause the telly. He glances down at you, and raises a brow at your serious face before grinning.

"You want something pet?" He asks, and you struggle to get the words out. You worry your lip, eyes darting over his face to try and get a read on whether he'd actually be receptive to a serious conversation.

"Can we talk?" You ask, hoping that might bring him to your level.

"Talkin' right now," He says, but his face falls a little. Your heart hurts seeing him sad, a response he's so deftly honed after months of dating. You want to tell him it's nothing, that you're fine, brush your emotions aside like you always do. You shouldn't, but you want to.

"I had a bad day," you start. You want to get your bearings first, find where you stand. Johnny's a good guy, you can give him the benefit of the doubt. He's a good boyfriend, he loves you. You don't know why you have to convince yourself of that.

"Ahm sorry to hear that," He coos. His hand cups your cheek and tips your head forwards to kiss your forehead. You feel a weight lift off your shoulders. "You know what would make ya feel better?" He asks, his voice comforting, soft, you shake your head, "A blowie."

You pull back to look at him. He's smiling like he's the funniest motherfucker in the room. You stare, your stomach churning and tears pushing at the back of your eyes. The last thing you want is his dick in your mouth.

"I'm being serious," You tell him, "I- I had a really bad day, and I want some- some fucking-" you growl at your inability to get the words out, your tears starting to feel insistent and you emotions hysteric, "-sympathy, or comfort from my boyfriend."

Johnny's face falls again, like you've hurt him. "Just a joke," He grumbles, his eyes leave you to look back at the television.

"I listen to you," You remind him.

"I'm listening." But he isn't, he's not even looking at you. You may as well spill your heart to a brick wall. Why do you have to carry his baggage but he won't even look at yours? How are you supposed to maintain a relationship with a man who doesn't take you seriously? Who doesn't see you as an equal partner?

"Do you even care about me?" You feel your heart clench, your lip wobbling. You have to sniff to keep the tears on your lashes from pouring out your nose. Johnny's head snaps to you.

"Of course I do," He placates, "I love you."

"I just, I had a bad day and you won't even look at me." The tears start to fall, your throat as tight as your chest. You hate crying, hate the mess and the way it makes Johnny look at you, like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

"You're just better at the emotional stuff," He tries, "I'm doin' mah best."

"Well then your best isn't good enough," You realize it as you say it. Things are never fine with Johnny. His moods impact yours, the irritation he brings home bleeds into you. You wonder when that started to happen. When the man that seemed so carefree, the one the swept you off your feet on the first date, that bought you flowers and rubbed your feet, became so comfortable in dismissing you. When did he realize he didn't have to try anymore? When did you start thinking you deserved that?

"Come on baby," Johnny huffs. You stare at him, the realization settling in. You don't love him anymore, not like you did. He's a chore, a man you do everything for and expect nothing in return from, because expecting something only leads to disappointment. "I love you," He repeats the words, they sting to hear.

"I think you should go," You can hear the tightness in your voice as your vision starts to swim.

"Ahm not gonna leave while you're upset." It's too little too late, but moving Johnny when he's convinced himself is nearly impossible.

You stand up and walk to the door of your apartment. He doesn't follow you, but why would he? He knows from practice that you'll cave to his wishes if he just chips at it long enough. You grab your phone, wallet, keys, and lock the door behind you.

[ssahotchnerr]

Jack still sort of maintaining a relationship with Roy the first few years after Haley dies (Aaron thought it was important to maintain those connections for Jack even tho it hurt Aaron to do 😭 it was easy with Jess who he loves but SUCKED with Roy) but he gets extremely exclusionary once Ellie is born. Him being like “I will spend time with MY grandson who belonged to MY daughter but I will not be wasting my time, energy, and money on a child you’ve had with another woman. A child who – might I point out – would not have been born if you stayed married to my daughter and didn’t get her killed in the first place.”

Aaron being pissed on Ellie’s behalf (and his feelings are hurt tbh) and you being pissed on both of their behalfs. But, unexpectedly, Hc that Jack overheard this conversation and basically says to Aaron the next time Roy wants to take him somewhere (Aaron didn’t want to make HIM feel bad on top of everything else by banning him from seeing his grandfather, so he was gonna let him go), “I don’t want to spend time with grandpa Roy if he’s gonna be mean to Ellie. Thank you, but I’ll stay here.” SUCH A GOOD BIG BROTHERRRRR you and Aaron are so proud 🥺❤️

OHHH MY GOD??

roy just completely refuses to acknowledge that ellie exists 😭

it happened right from the start: when aaron shared the two of you were expecting, roy brushed it off, muttering something incoherently in response. after she's born, aaron invites him over for family dinners, he refuses to come. he's invited to ellie's first, second, third birthday party, doesn't come. every time he comes over, he acts like he's never seen her before. disregarding her completely.

it becomes very clear very fast that he wants to spend time with jack and jack only. as much as aaron hates to admit it, in a way, he understands. roy's bitter about what happened to haley, so this was somewhat expected. it's a different situation that's hard to navigate - ellie isn't related to him, so if roy doesn't want to bring her along to places, whatever, aaron's not going to force roy to do anything. the issue is what an issue it is. how ellie is being treated.

it's more of a problem when ellie is a bit older, and wants to tag along with jack wherever he goes. she just wants to be included 🥺 sweet ellie simply says hi when roy comes over to pick up jack, he ignores her. the next time, she draws him a picture, and he doesn't accept it.

aaron gently confronts him, and that's when roy brings up haley and how this child is a disgrace to her. imagine he full-on admits he wishes she never existed?? 😭 ellie's a product of what happened to haley, he'll never forgive aaron for getting her killed, so he'll never accept this child's existence. she shouldn't exist.

that angers aaron and he starts going off - ellie is a part of this family, whether you like it or not. and fine, you don't have to love her (saying that SHATTERS aaron's heart) but do not treat her like she's nothing. aaron won't let that stand.

it starts a huge argument 🥺 roy refuses speak to aaron, except when it comes to arranging his time with jack, and the conversation is very short at that. he doesn't speak much to you either (never has). again in his eyes - you're haley's replacement. jack's new "mom"

and it's especially sad because ellie knows about haley too :( - not the story, but the simple, good things: jack has another mommy, she's not here with us anymore but you can talk to her with a candle. haley has never been a avoided topic in the house, she's encouraged. and so ellie loves haley in her own way :( so to call her a disgrace in haley's name?? when she's also keeping haley's memory alive? :((((

you feel awful. you know how hurt aaron is but he doesn't allow himself to show it. he hates talking about it, and he's always in a mood whenever roy's with jack. you feel awful for your daughter who doesn't know what's going on. you feel awful for jack who's taking an unnecessary weight on his shoulders in terms of this too.

ellie's confused and upset, this is the first person who's ever shown her unkindness. aaron gently tries to explain, but also, how do you explain this to a toddler? so he simply apologizes and scoops her up into his arms and holds her close :( he feels awful, and as if he's failing her in someway. this is "his fault", isn't it? 😭

so if roy's taking jack out, aaron or you, or both combined, take ellie out for the day to do something fun. or try to keep jack heading out on the down-low. it sucks, you still both encourage jack to spend time with his grandfather - maintaining that important relationship - even though it's exceedingly complicated behind the scenes.

and jack, being the sweet sensitive kid he is, picks up on the tension immediately. and he's torn 🥺 he wants to appease his grandfather, knows what he's doing isn't right, but also doesn't want to betray his little sister, letting behavior like this continue. he feels guilty :( he takes the initiative and brings it up to roy himself, asking if ellie can come with them someday, like to the zoo or to a movie. but roy's pretty level-headed and his mind is made up - absolutely no ellie.

so jack gets really upset :( he gets home one day and cries about it :((( you're trying to console him, as is aaron (who's close to tears himself), and ellie wanders over :( she gets sad whenever jack is sad :( and while she has no idea what's going on exactly, she just buries herself right up into jack's side as he's crying. to comfort him too 🥺🫶🏻

overall it's a reallyyyy messy situation, one that you can only hope resolves with time :(

[marvelsmylife]

Priorities

Pairing: Cassian x reader

Plot: Cassian used to say it was you and him against the world. Now, you’d be lucky if he even looks your direction.

“You know I would choose you.” “That’s the thing. I don’t.” A tear slipped down her cheek. “Because you haven’t chosen me. Not in a very, very long time.”

-King of Greed

A/n I’m not going to lie, this one is ANGSTY ! ! ! !

Masterlist

Request

Ana Huang Quotes Drabbles Masterlist

The day Cassian, the lord of bloodshed met you, his mate, he promised to always be by your side. He would protect you and would frequently say that it was you and him against the world. He promised nothing, and no one would get in between your love, and he kept that promise until Hybern happened.

Ever since then, Rhysand has been hard on everyone to get him information on what the king of Hybern was doing. He was especially hard on Cassian and Azriel, but Azriel sometimes had the decency to say no. Especially if he knew what Rhysand was asking for was unnecessary.

Cassian, however, followed Rhysand’s command without question and often blew you off to please the high lord. You thought this would be a faze, and he would revert to his old self, but you were sorely mistaken.

You realized Cassian wasn’t going to change the night of your anniversary. With the help of Feyre, Nesta, and Elain, you set up a dinner with his favorite foods in a beautifully decorated room. Feyre, Nesta, and Elain volunteered to help bring out your dinner to just so they could see Cassian’s reaction. Cassian usually gushed about how you would go all out for your anniversary, but tonight, Cassian completely ignored your presence.

Feyre, Elain, and Nesta sent you sympathetic looks as they watched Cassian walk past you and walked straight toward your shared room. The sisters were going to say something to make you feel better when you said, “I can’t do this anymore,” before following Cassian into your shared room.

Once inside, you spotted Cassian getting undressed and getting ready to shower. A smirk appeared on Cassian's face when he saw you and teased, “You just can’t stay away, can you? I think we can squeeze a quicky in the shower before I have to report to Rhys.”

“I’m moving out,” you told Cassian bluntly.

Cassian’s body went still at your words because he had no idea if you were joking, “Can I ask why?”

“I’m surprised you suddenly care for an explanation,” you replied while packing your things, “But if you must know, I’m tired of being last on your priority list. For the past six months, you’ve chosen to follow Rhysand’s command and disregard the plans we have to please our high lord. I deserve a male who will choose me first, and clearly, you’re not that male, at least not anymore.”

A frown appeared on Cassian’s face as he felt nothing but sadness through the bond, “Don’t be ridiculous, y/n. You know I would choose you.”

“That’s the thing. I don’t.” A tear slipped down your cheek. “Because you haven’t chosen me. Not in a very, very long time.”

Cassian wanted nothing more than to drop to his knees and beg for your forgiveness when Rhysand walked into your room. “Ah, Cassian, there you are. I know you just got home, but I need you to do recon at the autumn court. I have a feeling- wait, is everything ok here?” Rhysand asked once he took in both you and Cassian’s appearance.

“Peachy,” you replied sarcastically before looking at Cassian, “Cassian is all yours, as always.”

Rhysand gave you a puzzled look as you walked out of the room with suitcases in your hands. “What just happened?” Rhysand asked.

“I ruined my relationship with my mate, and I didn’t even realize it,” Cassian whispered as he tried not to cry in front of his brother. 

[k2ntoss]

Like...

Jason makes love and just fuck rough just sometimes... but he loves making love, not just a thing to pleasure, but for the feeling, for loving his girl... it's a intimacy thing...

I don't he him as a abuser... a guy that don't ask for permission even if it's just a look in her eyes

Sorry for felling up ur inbox with my sad and horrified ass

Love u!

MORE THAN YOU KNOW !! JASON TODD

request for this pretty girl and for me happy 3 months after my concert i'm emotional and too attached to that event i'm not even sorry!!!

t/w ⭒ SMUT!!! a little bit of angst and so but mostly some kind of fluffy smut and also... john constantine's sidekick!reader, i'm not even sorry but i have to do this

word count ⭒ don't know i've slept like 4 hours in two days so here you have this made with love and pouring my raw feelings on it

song ⭒ more than you know - blink-182

things had always been a little harder for jason, after all that's what he always expects from life so the punches sometimes hurt less but there's always something or someone that holds the power to make everything hurt worse than hell. how can he explain it? if he has always struggled with his feelings, after being left down over and over again he built walls to protect himself and pushed away whoever tried to come closer.

he didn't knew if he had to curse or thank for the day he met you. little cocky bastard that somehow connected with him from the very start, that understood him on a level that scared jason to death but he would never say it out loud, that would let you grip his throat and leave him helpless because his heart was open wide for you.

it was sad you didn't knew it and he didn't knew either if you felt the same things for him. he knew you would be there for him and so would he do for you, jason knew he had everything he lacked in your presence. you made him feel things he had never voiced because he didn't knew why and the day you started to find the way to voice the things you had bottled up he felt a little left behind.

"i- look, it's hard but i have to grow a pair and say it, jay... i want us to be different, to work a little more on whatever we are because i feel like i need more and more from you and honestly it scares me more than anything" the sudden confession feels alien for you, jason feels like he has been kicked in the face because this is not what he had expected. you always hid yourself underneath halfhearted confessions, never your real deep feelings.

"what do you mean?" the question slips past his lips before he can really think about it and the small flash of disappointment that crosses your face makes his chest ache. how can he put his words out for you? it's almost impossible to see himself saying it outloud, it was a sickening need to protect himself even if he knew you could never hurt him.

"i mean... i don't really feel like i know what you feel for me, i feel like i've been left with nothing at it freaks me out to feel you can leave me to die if i ever lose you" the words from your mouth now sound strained and realization downs on him. it's heavy, the knowledge that you felt the same fear he felt, the way you had let him hold youe life on his hands until the point that losing him would shatter you to pieces.

the lump on his throat subsided, the way you had finally voiced your fear made jason find his own grasp on what he felt. he felt like he had been cursed, his life was a constant fall as if he was sinking like a rock but there was also something else when you were around and even if neither of you had ever said it the feeling was there, deep and rooted in your hearts and it was too hard to say it out loud, love wasn't something you had ever experienced in conventional ways during life.

"why do you poison yourself with the thought i won't love you to death?" the question slip with an ease he had never felt before and the surprise in your face made it all worthy. it wasn't just giving you the power to burn him to ashes, it was giving himself the permission to lean on you, to indulge him to have a ray of light even if he sunk down further "i know i've never said it before, i've never told you how i really feel but trust me it's more than you'd ever know"

he had reached to you, his hand gently brushing a strand of hair out of your face as he leaned closer to press a soft kiss to the corner of your lips. the contact was so simple and light but yet so intimate it made you close your eyes, his hand hovering over your jaw before settling on the side of your neck as you closed your eyes.

"i feel like i shouldn't be trying at all, jay... but i just know i need you with me" your whisper made him sigh and it was all he needed to hear. his lips pressed against yours in a slow and deep kiss, jason cupping your face tenderly as you held onto his shoulders while leaning in across the distance between you in the small couch on jason's safe house.

the tender touch of his calloused hands against your face was a stark contrast, to wounded souls merging into one as he caressed your sides slowly pulling you closer to him. drinking you in like a man starving because he was giving in to you. the weight of your body making him aware of the fact that he had pulled you into his lap and breaking the kiss he looked up at you with adoration.

"can i...?" he asked, trailing off as he saw the same resolve in your eyes. you were just giving in to him, letting yourself be totally vulnerable for him to either take care of you or destroy you completely. that same resolve and trust made jason decide he would always protect you, even from himself even if it meant changing his whole being because he knew it was the least he could do for the person that was willing to do the same for him.

a silent nod from you was enough. his hands wandering across your body to free your figure from the fabric of your clothes, his eyes taking in every detail as his hands caressed every dip and curve of your body, your hands doing the very same on him as your lips lavished his neck, jaw and shoulders with tender and lingering kisses.

jason held your waist, slowly picking you up as he kissed your neck while walking to his room in long strides filled with purpose until he was able to lay you down, placing you gently on his bed and looking down at you with adoration and need. he knelt on the bed, his large frame hovering over yours as he leaned in to kiss a trail from your neck down to the middle of your chest, feeling your hands on the back of his head.

words weren't needed, the way jason looked at you as he settled between your legs was everything you needed to know what he felt and thought, the absolute trust he was putting on you mirroing yours. it was the first time he felt sure he wouldn't be betrayed or disappointed by someone he felt he needed as much as he needed air.

"jay..." the murmured call of his name that left your lips made jason shudder and he looked up as his hands caressed your waist and stomach softly, soothing and worshipping you.

"y/n..." he whispered back, moving until his face was next to yours and he pressed a soft kiss to your temple "are you sure?" the question was soft and even if he felt like he couldn't resist it another second without feeling you around him he held back. wanting to make this as special as he could.

"i'm sure" you whispered against his jaw, lips ghosting over his skin and with that confirmation he kissed your lips firmly as he sunk into you, a slow and steady stroke to settle between your warm walls. the overwhelming feeling stronger because of all the feelings poured in your words.

a low growl escaped his throat, his face hidden against your neck as you held onto his shoulders, face nuzzled into his hair as a low and soft moan escaped your lips at the first jerk of his hips. the pace was gentle and passionate, his lips peppering your shoulders in kisses and soft nibbles as your nails drew patterns on his back.

the breathless moans and grunst filling the room slowly turned into needy whimpers and low groans as jason picked up the pace, his hands gripping your waist and even if everything got more heated there was still that look of adoration on jason as he looked down at you.

and just like before. words weren't needed, all the feelings that had been poured at the start were loud and clear in the way jason let go off your wais to hold your hands, your legs wrapped around his hips as your fingers intertwined, gasps and soft kisses between each stroke that made his hips snap against yours until your body tensed.

he looked down at you again, leaning in to press a kiss to each of your closed eyes and then on your forehead and one deep thrust made you crumble apart underneath him. your body clenching around his as you moaned loudly made jason groan "jason!" and the sound of your voice was enough, his grip on your hands tightening.

a low growl of your name was all you heard in the moment he reached his own peak, his release spilled inside you in a jerk of his hips against you and the intensity of it all made you whimper silently against his chest.

"i love you, jay..." you whispered as he released your hands, his arms moving to wrap around your waist as you hugged his neck tightly and he chuckled tenderly.

"i love you too..." he muttered. days ago he would have said he didn't had highs but he had some lows but having you was definetly a high. he belonged there, right into your arms.

[fastandcarlos]

Hot Water Bottle : ̗̀➛ Daniel Ricciardo

summary: periods are never fun, but with daniel looking after you, at least they become a little more bearable

A sigh came from you, guilt eating away at you straight away as you looked at the deep red stain that soaked into the middle of the cream sheets. With the stabbing in your stomach you had a feeling something was coming, but still you found yourself stood in surprise.

Your body cringed as the bedroom door opened, with Daniel following your eyes, he was able to join the pieces together pretty quickly.

“Y/n,” he whispered, tentatively approaching you and draping his arm across your shoulders. “Come on love, let’s sort you out.”

You allow Daniel to take a hold of your hand and lead you into the bathroom, opening up the drawer. He pulls out the pack of wipes and positions you leant against the bathtub. It doesn’t faze Daniel at all as he pulls your pyjama bottoms down so they sit around your ankles.

As much as you want to push Daniel away and not let him see you like this, the tight grip that he has on your leg leaves you with no choice but to stay. Daniel ignores your embarrassment as he gently wipes the wipe against both of your inner thighs, removing as much of the stains as he can. It shouldn’t feel as intimate as it does, but it’s Daniel’s way of showing you just how much he cares about you.

Your periods had notoriously been bad from day one, it was the week of the month when you were at your weakest. You hated losing the strength, the ability to do the things that you usually do, but worst of all you hated feeling as if you needed to rely on Daniel. Periods were never something that you never got used to, however Daniel was quickly learning how to deal with it all.

It was times like these when you felt most grateful for Daniel, how he’d reassure that it was no big deal and pretend like nothing had happened, although secretly you were sure that he was a little grossed out by what unfolded in front of him.

You couldn’t help but sigh when Daniel stood back from you. “I can take it from here,” you mumbled, too embarrassed to let Daniel take anymore care of you when you were such a mess.

The expression on his face was filled with sadness as he saw how embarrassed you were, unable to bring your eyes to meet his own. Daniel can’t help but worry, seeing you so unsteady, so flustered, kills him inside. He wants more than anything to be able to do more, to do whatever it takes for him to make sure that your period is as comfortable as possible for you.

He steps forward and rests his hand over the top of yours, “are you sure? I don’t mind helping you out if you need me,” he tells you, but your head shakes back at him. Daniel respects what you tell him, so instead he reaches back in the drawer and finds a hairband to be able to tie those loose, sweaty strands out of your face.

You hold onto Daniel’s arms as you push up from the bath, slowly walking towards the shower. “I promise that I’ll shout if I need you for anything.”

“You better,” he jokingly insisted. “Just take as long as you need, make the most of that hot water and try to relax for a little bit.”

“I’ll sort everything once I’m out,” you then tell him, leaning into the shower and turning the water on. You stay out for a moment as the water warms up, beginning to see the steam filling the room. “I’ll go crazy if I come out and find that you’ve tidied everything up Daniel.”

“I refuse to make any promises,” he smirked, pressing a kiss against your cheek, “even though I know your hormones are through the roof.”

Once the water feels hot enough, you lazily lift your foot up and place it into the cubicle. Daniel is there to steady you, offering you his hand as you make yourself comfortable before pulling the curtain across, acting as a barrier between you both.

“Stay in there and enjoy yourself, don’t worry about anything out here.”

“Daniel! I’m warning you!” You shouted, but he had already left the room.

After a few minutes you heard the door open again, peering around the curtain. You couldn’t help but smile as Daniel placed a clean set of comfy clothes for you on the floor before grabbing a clean towel and placing it just beside the exit of the shower for you to use.

“I should’ve known better, shouldn’t I?” You teased, turning off the water and pushing the curtain back, making Daniel jump in surprise.

“Sorry,” Daniel whispered, bending down and picking up the towel. He stretched his arm out, passing it across to you so that you could dry off.

You wrapped the towel around yourself, smiling appreciatively across at Daniel.

“I’m going to go and sort the bed out, I’ll meet you downstairs,” he then informed you, heading for the door.

You wanted to argue, but you were far too tired to even try and protest to Daniel anymore. “Thank you for always taking such good care of me. I’ll be as quick as I can,” you called out as he began to leave you alone to sort yourself out, getting comfy enough to get through the day.

“Don’t rush just for me, you need to take your time right now,” Daniel insisted, beginning to strip the bed, making sure to leave both doors open just in case you shouted for him.

“Daniel, honestly, I’m alright,” you laughed.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

You weren’t quite sure where Daniel found the time from, but as you headed downstairs your living room was already kitted out for the two of you to relax in. You barely stepped into the room before a hand slipped into yours and led you across to your sofa filled with cushions and blankets.

Daniel pulls you down with him so that you’re resting against his chest. “Feeling better?” He asked whilst pressing a kiss to the top of your head, watching as you relaxed into him.

“I mean, it hurts, but I’ll be alright,” you replied, resting a hand against your stomach, “I wish more than anything that periods didn’t exist, it’s not fair that we have to suffer like this.”

Daniel nodded in agreement with you, offering a sympathetic smile. “I can boil the kettle and get you a hot water bottle if you want one?”

“You actually have one?” You asked in surprise, impressed by how prepared Daniel was for your period.

He proudly smiled, knowing he’d shocked you, “I got one just for you, I know how much they help.”

“You’re the best,” you complimented, staying exactly where you were. Daniel’s brows knitted together in confusion as you remained in your spot, as much as you wanted that hot water bottle, finding the strength to move your body from your comfortable position was another problem entirely.

Daniel reads you like a book, knowing exactly what you were trying to tell him. “I’m not a magician, I can’t magic it over here y/n.”

Your head nodded as you stretched up ever so slightly, close enough to kiss against Daniel’s jawline. It was the first time that morning you’d truly been able to show him just how appreciative you were for all of the things that he did for you. How he always took care of you without ever expecting anything in return for his kindness.

Reluctantly you lean back, and move your body back with you. “I guess I’ll let you go to get it, as long as you hurry back as quick as you can.”

“You’ll barely notice I’ve gone,” Daniel spoke as he heaved himself up, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you sunk back down into the sofa and tried to get comfortable again.

It felt like a lifetime waiting for Daniel, staring out of the window as you noticed that the day seemed as miserable as you did.

As promised, Daniel moved as quick as he could, soon returning with your prized possession. Your hands reach out, humming in thanks as you place the hot water bottle to the spot where you’re sorest to try and relieve some of your pain.

Your head tilts back in relief as soon as it hits the spot, finally feeling a little bit of comfort again. “This is so good,” you whispered to yourself.

“I’m glad I could help,” Daniel noted as he tucked himself back into your side, moving his hand to rest on the bottle and keep it in place for you.

You went to speak, but stopped yourself as you rested your head on Daniel’s shoulder. Your eyes began to flutter shut, which Daniel was quick to notice, brushing his free hand gently against the length of your arm.

Whilst you got some rest beside him, Daniel reached across and turned on the television. What played was secondary to him, with you as his priority, nothing else really mattered to him.

Every so often you shuffled, never quite being able to find that sweet spot for too long. Each time Daniel looked at you in panic, only to settle again once he realised that you were alright. As soon as you gave him that smile, he knew that things were all good with you again.

What never changes though is the feeling of Daniel watching over you, he’s never quite able to switch off from you. “Haven’t you got work or something today?” You asked, glancing up and meeting Daniel’s eyes.

“Yeah, but I’ve changed my mind on that.”

Your hand pressed against his chest, “you can’t just cancel work like that, practice it’s important to you.”

“And so are you,” Daniel shrugged, as if what he was saying was obvious, as if it didn’t need a discussion.

You went to argue but reminded yourself it was pointless, Daniel was stubborn, especially when it came to you and being the one to protect you when you were hurting.

You reluctantly moved your hand off of Daniel and laid back into his side. He chuckled proudly as you did so, nothing that that was you admitting defeat to him.

For the first time you find yourself sitting comfortably, much to Daniel’s delight. It was all that he wanted, for you to be alright.

After a few moments, Daniel breaks the silence between the two of you. “Can I get you anything else sweetheart?” He asks, pushing the hot water bottle a little bit further into your tummy for you to feel the full effect of it.

“Take the pain away?”

“I wish that I could do that my love,” Daniel smiled weakly in response.

It was wishful thinking, but at this point, you’d do anything to take the pain away and go back to being your usual, excitable self again. “You’ve already done more than enough for me today, I can’t remember how I ever survived a period without you there to lion after me.”

“It’s no problem, I do it because I love you,” Daniel reminded you, but you were already well aware, period or not, Daniel always went above and beyond in order to take care of you.

You’d heard it a thousand times, and yet it still made your heart skip a beat. “What did I do to get so lucky Mr Ricciardo?”

Daniel finds himself lost for words, unable to give you an answer. If anything, that was the question that he was always asking himself.

“I think I might try and get some sleep for a bit.”

“Go for it,” Daniel agreed, pushing you closer into his side. He assured you that he would still be there when you woke up, keeping an eye on you and making sure that you were alright, happy to get anything that you needed from him.

“You should try and rest, you won’t get much sleeping next to me and my cramps,” you teased.

Daniel did as you said, happy to close his eyes for a little bit too.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

You weren’t quite sure how long your eyes were closed for, but when you woke up you found yourself back in your bedroom. The cream sheets that met you this morning were replaced with black ones, your hot water bottle was still pressed against your tummy, although seemingly it felt like it had been refilled a couple of times. Everything felt comfortable around you, the light was dim and your duvet had been pulled up so that it was nice and snug around your frame.

After a few moments, your bedroom door slowly opened. Daniel peered round, his smile growing as he realised that you were awake. His hands carried a mug of tea that he placed on the bedside table beside you. Once he had done that, he came and laid himself down beside you, brushing your hair out of your face before pressing a kiss against your forehead and snuggling as close to you as he possibly could.

He studies you momentarily, you look a lot more relaxed than you did earlier that morning when you were greeted with your mess.

You still seemed slightly unsettled, giving Daniel no choice but to press his hand against your hot water bottle and make sure that it was still hot. He was on the ball with everything, quick reactions were needed for driving in formula one, but those reactions definitely came in handy for Daniel when he was around you too.

Once again Daniel didn’t seem to take his eyes off of you, every time your expression changed he’d panic, when your hot water bottle dropped he’d pick it straight back up. You wanted to be used it, but you just couldn’t, Daniel still somehow drove you crazy, even when you were hormonal and being hit with plenty of pain.

He knew all too well that he occupied your mind too, your smile told him everything.

“Stop staring,” you laughed, jabbing your hand against his stomach as he turned to face you.

“Are you alright?”

“My period still hurts.”

Daniel hums in acknowledgement, “do you need anything? Food? Pain relief?”

“Just you,” you mused, much to Daniel’s satisfaction. “When did I even get in here?”

“Not long ago, you were starting to get restless so I thought you’d be comfy here,” he informed you.

“You should’ve woken me,” you argued, but he was having none of it, especially when you were in pain.

“You needed the rest baby.”

You hummed as he spoke, “I still feel sleepy.”

“Go back to sleep then silly,” Daniel chuckled, pecking a kiss against the rosy tint of your cheek.

Your head shook, “I feel like all I’ve done is sleep.”

Daniel paused for a moment, noticing how tired you still looked. “If it’s what you need, then it’s okay to close your eyes.”

“Will you stay here with me?”

He chuckled at the hope in your voice, “if it helps you, then of course I will.”

You nod proudly in reply, “a cuddle from you would make any situation better.”

“I’m supposed to be making you feel better, not the other way round,” Daniel joked back at you.

“You are making me feel better,” you insisted, wriggling your aching frame closer to his chest.

Daniel’s hand came up to run through your hair, “and you’re absolutely sure that I can’t do anymore?”

There was a moment before your reply as a quick yawn escaped from you. “I promise that I’m all good, unless you can take my period away completely.”

“I wish,” Daniel sniggered, moving his other hand to wrap around you and keep you as tight to him as possible.

Silence came into the room as the two of you settled. It took you a moment to find that position that felt comfortable enough to close your eyes, and Daniel waited patiently for you to do so, moving with your body and giving you as much attention and understanding as he could.

“Sleep well beautiful.”

“Daniel,” you whispered as you heard his faint voice, “I love you, you know that, don’t you?”

Daniel nodded against the top of your head, “I do baby, just as much as I love you.”

You immediately shook your head, “no, I’m sure that I love you a little bit more.”

“No way,” Daniel chuckled, knowing exactly where things were going. “Let’s agree to disagree.”

You tapped against his chest, “are you telling a hormonal woman that she’s in the wrong?”

Daniel pondered for a moment as he realised what you were hinting at, “no…I would never do that.”

“Good, because I love you the most,” you smirked, settling back down again. “Sleep well Daniel.”

“And you, my love.”

 ˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[siredtosturniolos]

hiii can I request a chris x slightly big reader? she's not skinny but she's not plus size, she just has a bigger body with a stomach dip and all. basically they're dating but the internet doesn't know it yet and they're both tired of hiding so they decide to announce it through a photo dump, reader is nervous of what people might think of her and second guesses whether chris is embarrassed or not to be dating a "not skinny and standard body goal" girl. chris gently reassures her and the fans ended up loving and supporting the ship. thank you!!

Baddest

Paring: Chris Sturniolo x Reader

Summary: You and Chris had finally agreed to coming out to his fans with your relationship. You knew Chris loved you, but you were worried the fans would get to you, or even worse, him. You had a little more to love than most girls, but it was something Chris loved about you. You could face anything as long as you had Chris by your side.

Warnings: talks of body size!

Authors note: As a plus sized girly, i hope I didn't offend anyone and that this is what you were hoping for! Thank you for the request <3

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I frown as I look over at Chris’ phone, opened on Instagram and looking through his photos of us together. We were finally coming out to his fans as being a couple, and I can’t help but feel insecure.

I wasn’t fat, but I also wasn’t skinny, so I can only imagine what his fans would have to say about my body. I just don’t want Chris to be embarrassed by his fans reaction, or by me.

“Baby?” I’m pulled out of the thoughts I was drowning in, I look to him and offer a small smile. “What’s wrong?” He asks, locking his phone to give me his full attention.

“Nothing, I’m fine.” I reply, and I can basically feel his eyes roll as he turns to fully face me.

He shakes his head, “We’re not moving from this spot till you tell me what’s on your mind.”

Damn him and his stubbornness.

I shrug, “I’m just a little worried about how everyone will react. To me.” I admit quietly.

“Well, you’re my first girlfriend since I’ve gotten a following-“ He starts, but I cut him off, “I know Chris, I mean I’m worried about what they’ll say about my size. I’m not what they imagine your type to be.” I explain softly, and I watch the sadness seep into his expression.

“Baby, you know I fucking love you and your body. I don’t care what they have to say about it.” He replies, tugging me into a hug.

I feel tears fill my waterline, “Just don’t want you to feel embarrassed.” I mumble into his chest, feeling his arms tense up around me.

“I could never be embarrassed of you.” He whispers, “If anyone should be embarrassed, it should be you. Having a boyfriend that’s 20 years old without a license? Jeez.” He jokes softly, making me erupt with giggles.

He’s not entirely wrong.

“I don’t think any less of you for not having your license you know.” I tell him, pulling back to place a short and sweet kiss on his lips.

“I know.” He grins down at me once we pull away, “Do you still wanna post today? We can wait.”

Instantly I shake my head, “We’ve waited long enough.” I tell him, and he pulls his phone back out. “These are good.” I tell him as he shows the 9 pictures he wanted to post. He nods, then twists away from me so I can’t see what he’s typing.

“Chris!” I whine, rolling my eyes.

“It’s gonna be a surprise shut up.”

I get a notification on my own phone, making me pull it out to see he had tagged me in the post. I click the notification and immediately read the caption.

@christophersturniolo: Got the baddest bitch to be my girlfriend ❤️ 🪄

I laughed, “You and that fucking emoji.”

Chris scoffs, “It’s the best one out there!”

“I love you.” I tell him, watching fondly as his cheeks flush and he turns a little bashful.

“Love you too baby.” He grins back at me, quickly leaning forward to place a soft kiss on my lips. We settle back onto the couch as I pulled my phone back out, opening Instagram to check the comments on Chris’ post.

@astrologysturniolo: that should be me by justin bieber is playing so loud rn

@chrislovespepsi: Y/N is so pretty wtf

@mattybloverboy: GOALS

@outerspacesturniolo: can’t believe chris bagged a baddie like that when he’s scared of women LMAO

@teampurplenas: where is that top from in the 3rd pic??? she’s serving cunt ngl

“How are they taking it?” Chris quietly asks, bringing my attention away from my screen.

I shoot him a smile, before I lock my phone and place it on the coffee table, “Pretty well so far.” He cheers and nearly tackles me off the couch in the process.

“Chris!”

“If you wanna go to the bedroom just say that.”

[habken]

Izuku and Katsuki Hospital Comic - Thoughts and Process

I wanted to talk about the process and my thoughts while making this comic! Cause it was A Lot of planning and I feel like talking about how I went about it could maybe be helpful for other people who wanna make comics too ?

Also I just like talking and I've had So Many thoughts about it over the last few months, I just need to get them all out lol

everything is under the cut (it's Very Long) ↓↓↓

Initial Thoughts

I started planning the comic in January, around the time the chapter with the second user's plan to transfer ofa to shigaraki came out. I remember feeling so anxious and sad seeing how devastated Deku was to lose the 'gift' that All Might had passed to him :'((

It made me start thinking about what it would be like to not only go from having all this insane power at your fingertips back to nothing, but also how it would feel to lose the vestiges, which had been his advisers, yapping in his ear and keeping him company for months. How it would feel to go from constantly having people looking over your shoulder back to silence.

Then I thought about what that would mean for his and Bakugou's relationship, which has developed so much over the series. How Bakugou would feel about Deku no longer having ofa, how the two of them would wrestle with old feelings now that Deku would be quirkless again. Bakugou having to face the kid he bullied and Deku going back to a state where the world saw him as "useless" with dreams too big for somebody without a quirk.

I feel like sometimes it's not really taken into account how Deku's past affects him in the present, and that goes for in the actual series as well. Considering he's the main character, it's funny that we never really get too much of a peak inside his mind lol, especially not recently, which is most likely intentional, but I digress.

What I really wanted to do for this comic was circle back to Deku's question to All Might at the start of the series, "can I become a hero without a quirk" because while yes, deku can be a hero, he had to get a quirk to do so. So what happens now that he no longer has it? After all of Bakugou and Deku's development, would Bakugou's opinion on deku pursuing his dreams while quirkless change?

I really didn't want that answer to be no. I didn't want to believe that Deku would have to give up and "be realistic" again, it just didn't feel right for that to be the answer after 400 chapters.

So I wanted to make something that would encapsulate those thoughts! And I felt like the best way to fully get that out was through a scene in the aftermath of the battle, the two of them in the hospital with nothing to do but talk about their feelings.

It was important to me that the doubts they both felt about the future were stomped out, and for there to be reassurance that things between them wouldn't snap back to how it was before UA. That Deku could still reach his dreams even if they did become harder to obtain.

I also felt like narratively it would be a good parallel if Bakugou were to lose something tied to his power too, and with his arm being so bad off in canon, I thought it made sense that there was a chance he could lose it forever.

So it's like they're both coming out of the final battle worse off with huge losses, but no matter what, they're going to fight to achieve their dreams, and they're going to do it side by side :')

At its core, it’s very self indulgent lmao, I didn’t think that we’d get something that sappy and gross in canon (😳) so I wanted to make something for myself :')

Planning

So then I made a first draft!

When I’m making bigger comics, thumbnails are super helpful! They help me see the full picture of what it could look like, and let me change things without putting in too much commitment. So most of the drawings are loose, but occasionally I’ll put in a little extra detail into things that I want to make sure are included in the final work.

There’s three main things I consider when thumbnailing for comics; expression, composition, and dialogue. Each of these things have a huge influence on each other, so keeping them all in mind when roughing out your drawings is important!

How it usually works is I play out the scene in my head like a movie and roughly come up with dialogue, then I draw characters and expressions based on that dialogue and the visions I had. Simultaneously I plan out approximately where those drawings will go/how much space they'll take up and finally, I add in the dialogue and move things around as needed so everything fits nice together.

Having the dialogue there in the draft lets me know around how big the speech bubbles are gonna be which is a massive help when figuring out paneling. It lets me plan around the bubbles and make sure nothing is too squished!

General tips:

Something I learnt from storyboarding is that establishing a setting for your scene at the start is really important! Most of my comics will start with a long shot or include one early on for this reason. It’s good for making sure readers aren’t confused on where everything is taking place!

Having a variety of shots is good for keeping your story engaging! This comic has a lot of closeups, but I tried to add variety where I could and used a lot of different angles to keep things entertaining even if there isn't that much going on

Final thoughts on this draft:

At this stage, the ending was really different from the final version I ended up with. It was a lot more focused on Bakugou's losses too and the vibe was kinda "well we're both nerfed now but that's chill we can still be heroes." I axed most of that cause I thought it was dumb and wasn’t really the conclusion I wanted lol

After the rough draft, I started sketching everything out and adding in panels based on the composition from the og thumbnails. I also changed the dialogue as I went, focusing on making it sound more natural and easy to read.

This is where the nuances in movement and expression became a bit more refined and speech bubbles where better planned out.

At this stage, establishing clarity and imagining how readers are going to move their eye along the page is really important. Comics are generally read left to right, but you can’t just assume people are going to automatically read it in the order you want, which is why panels and speech bubble locations are so important.

Tips:

A general rule is that along with going from left to right, speech bubbles should be in descending order. This can be broken a bit, but it’s important to remember that the rule is there in the first place for clarity's sake. So if you do plan on breaking it, make sure it's not at the sacrifice of legibility. The human eye is lazy and will jump to whatever seems most logical, so planning things out in a confusing manner is going to make your comic hard to read!

This is another thing I picked up from storyboarding, but keeping in mind the 180° rule is good for clarity as well! In the simplest of terms, if you have two characters in a scene, it’s good to keep character A on one side and character B on the other, and not switch those sides willy-nilly, otherwise it can get confusing. This isn't as important in comics as it is in film/television, but I still like keeping it in mind.

Final thoughts:

I hated the original ending but I couldn't exactly figure out how I wanted it to go, and I was too busy at that point to dedicate the time I needed towards it, so it stayed as these four panels for while :’)

During the period I stopped working on it, Deku lost his arms which had me panicking lmao, so much of the comic was devoted to his emotions and body language, specifically in his hands. I just went "am I gonna have to redo everything? Do I give him prosthetics?" and I was fully ready to rework the entire thing but Eri came in clutch for Deku (and me) <3

After Deku started getting hurt, I didn't really like the idea of him being discharged and sitting with a still injured Katsuki, and wanted it to be clear that they were both still in the hospital, so I had to axe poor Deku's "hospital gown" shirt for actual hospital garb </3

At some point during april-ish, I finally added in a new beginning and end, which took the comic from four pages to seven. I felt like the new parts added a lot more levity and humour which were needed, and I think it helped make Izuku and Katsuki feel closer than before.

For these pages, I skipped the thumbnail stage and jumped straight into full page stuff, which felt easier because they were kind of just add-ons.

Something I specifically liked were the first two panels in the last page. Fun fact, but a few days after I sketched those out, horikoshi released that art of to two of them smiling together and I went !! That's the vibe I wanted !! Me and Horikoshi are on the same wavelength! That was a good day lmao.

At this point, though, while new parts added a lot more to the story and brought it closer to the vibe I wanted, they also messed with the tone and overall pacing and it ended up feeling really off. Deku was now doing this weird 180 from being super sad and upset to then immediately joking around and goofing off with no acknowledgement of anything Katsuki was saying, which had been fine enough when it was just 4 panels, but very off-putting once I made the comic longer

...So I decided to add even more panels :')

I went back to my original ideas, and part of what I wanted to get across originally was the doubts about Izuku's future from here on out, and the worry that things would go back to how they were before he got ofa. I realized those initial things which had fueled the comic were no longer really part of it, and I wanted to change that.

When I thought up the idea of visuals surrounding their middle school selves, I felt so smart LMAO. I think it ended up being the thing that brought the entire comic together.

Izuku reverting back to that anxious, unconfident state, spiralling into himself, and mumbling out all his insecurities, including his fears about losing Katsuki's friendship (and yet still somehow more worried about Katsuki's feelings than his own). And in turn, Katsuki remembering and seeing Izuku as that kid again, and his own fears of becoming a bully once more.

It better explored what I wanted to originally get across and delved more into their feelings, so that the jokes and levity at the end felt like they were earned, rather than being a rapid shift in tone.

(The only other thing that changed was the some of the panels in the first page. I changed up the speech bubbles and got rid of a panel so it would be less cramped and easier to read.)

At this point, I was still having trouble figuring out how to tie everything in and segway pages 6-7 into the ending organically, so it sat like this for around a month.

Then chapter 423 released and the battle was over and I realized how little time I actually had to get the comic out. I knew that the next chapter could possibly make my entire comic obsolete, so I hauled ass :D

These were the final plans before I cleaned everything up! I changed around some of the panels to make the story flow better, I figured out how to tie everything in, and I finalized the dialogue!

At this point all the panelling was redone because I wanted more space in between them. Before, it felt really cramped and I think adding in more breathing room made it feel slightly less overwhelming for readers.

The biggest changes from the previous draft:

First, obviously, I finished the middle school stuff and figured out how to get from one part to the next. This was the hardest part of the planning, but I ended up deciding that Deku would spiral, Bakugou would kind of bring him out of that, they'd hug and then Bakugou would reassure him. I also included motifs relating to their childhood to be reminiscent of The Apology, and Katsuki's thoughts going back to them sharing the special All Might cards, them at the lake, etc. As if this was another healing moment for each part of them; their current selves, their MS selves, and their childhood selves too

I then changed some of the panels in the first page. I switched the direction of the diagonal line in the first few panels because I thought it made it more clear which way to start reading and made the comic flow better.

In the fourth page, I added a panel after Deku starts crying, because I felt like it worked better with the dialogue, and brought in more of Katsuki's POV into the story

The sixth page doesn't really look different, but there was a lot of resizing going on panel-wise. The bottom panel doesn't take up as much space and the panels up top are a little bigger

The final big change was the eighth page. I added in an extra panel and changed up a lot of expressions/dialogue so there was more of a natural transition between the heartfelt moments and the two goofing off

I then made some final changes and drawover notes before I started a week of cleanup and colouring!

Cleanup/Colouring Stage

Cleaning up my sketches usually just means duplicating the layer, putting the original layer at 5% opacity and.. cleaning it until it looks nice lol. It's the easiest way for me to work because I hate doing lineart.

This is what my sketch vs final usually looks like. The biggest change was adding in bandages into all the drawings lol.

For speech bubbles, I drew them all by hand, created a flat colour layer underneath in white, duplicated that and filled it in with black and shifted it with the transformation tool to make a drop shadow effect.

It took me two days to colour the whole thing :')

Usually when I colour, I work in a pretty painterly way, but I thought flats/cell shading would be a lot faster for this. I was right but it still took Very Long.

The smartest thing I did was put colour swatches of each colour I was using on a separate layer above everything else so I could easily use the eyedropper and get the right colour without having to reference them from another page. It was a big time saver!

I colour all on a single layer so I don't have progress photos to show, but for each drawing, I roughly added in all the colours in the approximate locations they'd be, and once I did that for every single panel, I went back and cleaned them up one by one.

And that's that! After colouring was done, I added my signature, posted it, and took the nap of the century.

Final, Final Thoughts

I worked... Very Hard to get the comic out before leaks night and even if it was just a few hours, I'm so glad I was able to do it cause when I saw the actual chapter I lost my mindddd

I feel like as the comic progressed, Katsuki's feelings took a backseat and if I was to redo it, I'd probably put a bit more emphasis on that than I did in the final version. I feel like his ~inner turmoil~ didn't fully come through the way I wanted it to. I didn't want it to be an immediate acceptance — I wanted the fact that he was struggling with his past to be evident too — but with the focus being so heavily on Izuku, Katsuki's inner thoughts get a bit lost which is too bad </3 Good thing is Horikoshi had the exact opposite idea as me, so it all worked out :D

I'm really proud of how the comic turned out, and I'm so happy to have gotten such a positive response to it! Thank you for reading if you got this far and thank you for reading my silly self-indulgent hospital comic :)

[hellodropbear]

like she used to (VI)

alexia putellas x sister

part I, II, III, IV, V

~~~~~~

When I asked, Aitana told me there was nothing wrong when she followed Alexia outside. She told me that Mapi hadn't been out there and that she really did need help with her dribbling. 

It was a lie, of course. I am not naive. 

She told me that I was staying at her house tonight, and tomorrow she will call Alba. They were not lies, that much I could tell. 

I don't want her to call Alba, but I don't think I have a choice in that decision.

Aitana and Mapi don't think I should be alone at the moment. Apparently, I have not been taking good enough care of myself to be trusted by myself in my own house.

Their thought is supposed to make me feel comforted, loved. But really, all it makes me feel is frustrated. Weak.

Weaker than I already am.

I am almost 16, I should be able to take care of myself.

I don't tell them that I miss Mami, or that I wish she didn't work until late every night, because I don't want her to pull away from her job. She loves it there, it gives her time away from her children and she can earn money for her future.

I don't tell them that I wish Alba would realise that something is wrong, without having to be told. I can't pull her away from her friends, her job. Her life that doesn't really involve me anymore.

So I don't tell them anything, falling back into the silence as I get into Aitana's car, ignoring her eyes that seemed glued to the side of my face.

"I miss you, Elena."

Her words are almost silent, and if I hadn't strained my ears I wouldn't have been able to hear them.

I know what she means, she misses the person I used to be. I don't know how to tell her that I miss her to, but I just can't seem to find her anymore.

For some reason, her words trigger a sudden swirl of anger, of frustration within me and I am replying before I can even think about what is coming out of my mouth.

"Then leave me alone!"

Aitana recoils and looking back, I can recognise that my words were too harsh. Too harsh to one of the few people who had actually been looking out for me.

But my sadness has morphed into concealed anger over the past few days, a raging fire inside me that is fighting to escape, fighting to explode in the worst way possible.

There is not enough water to put the fire out, my weak attempts only making it grow and grow.

It is just unfortunate that Aitana was the one who had to witness the explosion. If you can even call it that.

Because the tsunami wave is growing, I can feel it building inside of me. It is only a matter of time before it crashes and I feel tense as I wait for the inevitable destruction.

"Elena-" Her voice was soft, too soft. Too kind and too even.

They always were. Mapi and Aitana were always too nice, too caring and too nurturing, even when all I wanted was for someone to scream at me. Someone to yell, to tell me this was all my fault just so I could have someone to blame.

It is too hard to blame Alexia because I love her too much.

It is too hard to blame Alexia because I have been grieving her like she is dead. You do not blame a dead person for dying.

I want to be punished, to be screamed at. I want someone to tell me that I should be like this, to tell me that this is all my fault. I want someone to watch as I cry, to allow me to just release every single thing that is inside of me so I can stop feeling like this.

Stop feeling the sadness, stop feeling the hurt, stop feeling the anger, the loneliness, the isolation.

Stop feeling at all.

Because it all hurts so much, feeling hurts me so much and I want to stop hurting. I want to be safe, comfortable. I want to be loved, to be warm.

I want to be held in Alexia's arms like she used to.

Her hand combing through the knots in my hair, allowing me to fall asleep in her lap.

They were the times I felt most comfortable, right there on the couch, in her arms.

Because she was the sister I went to when I needed comfort, when I needed to cry about all of life's problems. To be frustrated, angry. When I didn't want to be cheered up, when I didn't want to be positive.

To just be miserable.

But it was hard to be miserable when I was consumed by her smell, her touch. The love I could only find in my sister.

And I wish I could get that same comfort from Alba. From Aitana or from Mapi. From anyone that was willing to give it to me.

But I don't think it is that simple.

"I just... I can't do it any more."

Aitana frowns, as if debating inside her what to do.

"What do you need, Lena?"

Her voice cracks. She doesn't know what to do anymore. Similar to how Mapi didn't know what to do with me.

All I need is Alexia, her love and affection. But it is one of the only things I can't get.

So I don't respond, because I can't give her the answer that I want, but there is nothing else that will suffice.

"I don't know why I asked that question. You want Alexia, no?"

I look out the window as I nod.

"Of course I want Alexia!" A tear falls from my eye, although my words do not sound sad, they sound angry.

Because I feel angry, with everything.

But I also feel everything, every emotion giving me whiplash as I finally feel myself breaking.

Aitana hesitates, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Hey. Hey, Elena, look at me."

I don't turn my head immediately, first trying to shrug her hand off my shoulder but giving up when her grip stays firm, her hand not even budging.

A strangled cry leaves my mouth and I slowly turn my head, my eyes meeting her wet ones.

"What is wrong with me?"

We are in a car, so it is difficult for Aitana to hug me, but she tries her best, reaching over the centre console and wrapping her arms around my trembling body.

"There is nothing wrong with you, Elena. You are going through such a hard thing, but there is nothing wrong with you."

"Why does she hate me so much?"

I whisper through my tears, but Aitana hears me loud and clear.

"She doesn't hate you, not at all. She loves you so much but sometimes it is just hard for her to show it."

"It shouldn't be so hard, it never used to be like this."

~~~~~~

August 23, 2012.

Papi's office door has been closed for too long.

A few months ago, Mami told me that he had died, that he was never coming home. I didn't believe her, so I sat by his locked door, waiting for him to come home and play the piano with me.

But he never did.

Things changed a lot around the house too. Mami started working more and Alexia also started playing more football. Often, it was Alba and me alone at home.

I would sit by the office door, Alba would lie on the sofa, staring at the tv. I don't think she was really paying attention to what was happening because, like Ale and Mami, Alba has not really been doing much at all since Papi left.

But now he has been gone for ages. A long time.

A time that has been so long that I find myself believing Mami. Papi will never come back from heaven.

They say that heaven is a good place, where everyone is happy and everyone gets what they want.

But Papi is in heaven without me. Does that mean he is happy without me? He doesn't want me any more?

The thought crosses my mind over and over, day after day. But I do not tell Mami, because she misses Papi too. I don't want her to think that Papi doesn't want her anymore.

Because why else would he stay there without us.

Alexia cries when I tell her my suspicions. I am sat in the back of her car as she drives me to her training after kindergarten, but she pulls over when the words spill out during my long ramble about my day.

I had been telling her all about the arts and crafts that we had been doing, what I ate for lunch and how I couldn't sleep at nap time. She asked me why, and I told her that it was because my brain was moving too much and I couldn't get the wriggly creatures out and get to sleep.

"What were you thinking about that was so wriggly, pequena?"

She had glanced at me through the rear view mirror, so I could see her frown. I saw it deepen as I explained the reason and watched her indicate and pull over to the side of the road.

She was quick to get into the back seat with me, easily pulling me into her arms and allowing her fat tear drops to fall onto my head.

"That is not true, Elena. Heaven is not a place people want to go to. They only go when they have no choice. Because if Papi had the choice, he would be at home with us. At home where he belongs, teaching you to play the piano, giving you cuddles and kisses, giving you baths, feeding you dinner, singing you to sleep. He is not happy without us, without you, but he is always up there, watching us and making sure we are all happy, making sure that we are all ok."

That was the moment that I realised what death meant, and that was the moment that I started to cry.

"Papi is gone forever? He can not come home, Mami said. But why, Alexia? Why can't he come home?"

Her arms tightened around me and she exhaled quietly before speaking.

"He was sick, p, very sick. His body couldn't handle the sickness and one day it stopped working. You can't live without a working body, so he went to heaven. He died, Elena, and we can't do anything to bring him back."

I didn't have a response for that. All I could do was cry, sobbing into my sisters arms in the back seat of her car on the side of the main road.

Her keys were still in the ignition, the engine still running as my body wracked with sobs, apparently contagious as Alexia dissolved into quieter cries into my hair.

I think I fell asleep there, because the next thing I knew, Alexia was carrying me into the house.

My eyes stung and my face felt dry, but as soon as we walked inside the house, I knew where Ale was taking me.

The chestnut door had not been unlocked in months, but I remember that the key was kept in the top draw of the shelf in the lounge. I couldn't reach the draw, but I grabbed the key as soon as it was in Alexia's hand, reaching down from where I was balanced on her hip as she walked silently down the hallway.

I could feel her breath catch when the door opened and my own stomach filled with butterflies as she sat down on the piano stall, sitting me right in her lap.

"Do you want to play your song?"

I shook my head. It didn't feel right playing without Papi beside me. His study felt haunted, almost, like he should be right behind me, ready to scoop me us and cover me in kisses once I finished my song.

But deep inside of me I knew he would not be there, yet it would be impossible to prepare myself for the disappointment that I would feel when he wasn't there.

So I curled up into my older sister who easily wrapped her arms around my trembling form, planting a soft kiss on my hair.

"Papi loves you so much, Elena. So, so much. He will always be up there looking out for you and I will help him out by being the one to look after you down here. I will always love every bit of you because you are my best friend, pequena."

I had nodded, responding meekly.

"You are my best friend too, Ale. I love you as well."

I fell asleep in her lap again, but the next time I woke up, it was beside her in her bed.

And I was comfortable, because my sister means everything to me.

She is the person who will be there for me forever.

~~~~~~

I was angry for the next few weeks, despondent when Mapi or Aitana tried to get anything out of me.

But they had gone over me and decided that even though I didn't want to, they would call Alba to at least let her know that I wasn't ok.

I had listened to them on speaker phone to each other from the other room, although I didn't want anyone to realise how much I actually cared. How nervous I was of rejection, of Alba not caring.

But to say she cared was an understatement.

"What do you mean, 'she's not doing well?'" Alba's voice was frustrated, that much was clear. "Is it because of Alexia? The pressure in the first team? She promised she would tell me if she needed me."

It was Mapi who responded, knowing Alba better than Aitana.

"It's everything, Alba. It is obvious when you see it, so we've been looking after her for the past two months."

"Why didn't you call me earlier? I would have been there immediately!"

She was frustrated by them, but I dread her reaction when she is told why they didn't call her earlier. Because it, like many problems in my life, is all my fault, a decision that I made. A decision that Mapi and Aitana did not agree with.

But when Aitana responded, she did not say what I expected her to.

"We didn't realise how bad it was. But she does need you, Alba, please come at some point."

"I am in the car, driving now. Where are you?"

She was clearly annoyed, her voice was very telling.

"We are at mine." Mapi's voice was soft, and I could hear her sigh as Alba hung up.

I sat back down quickly as they returned to the lounge room, not noticing Ingrid's eyes on me from where she was in the kitchen.

"Alba is coming now." Mapi spoke softly, sitting down on the sofa, leaving a large distance between us.

"I am going to go home now." I looked at Aitana as she spoke and nodded. She waved to Mapi and Ingrid, grabbing her bag and heading out.

Alba arrived not long after, practically storming inside, concern etched into her frown.

"Elena." She gasped softly, sitting herself down right beside me and wrapping one arm around me.

"Elena, what has happened?"

I shrug nonchalantly, not volunteering any information. I watched as Mapi cowered under Alba's strong glance, apparently not sure what she should say.

Ingrid was calm as she entered, however, placing a cup of coffee in front of Alba and then her girlfriend.

"Elena has been staying here for a while, some nights she's been with Aitana."

"Have you been sleeping? You look tired. You are also pale, Elena. Why didn't you tell me? Even if Maria and Aitana didn't think it was necessary, why didn't you say something when we were on the phone?"

Alba studies me closely, stress evident in her voice.

It reinforces my decision to not tell her anything until I am ok again, because now she will be everywhere.

I can't live with her because she lives far from the training ground and doesn't have the time to take me to training, but she will be everywhere else.

There is another uncomfortable silence, broken again by Ingrid.

"She didn't want to be a burden on you. She kept saying how you have your own life and you shouldn't have to look after her."

Alba just shakes her head, her arm securing around my waist and facing me more directly.

"You were wrong, Elena! I am your older sister. Just because Ale and you are not getting on does not mean you ice me out as well."

My face remains blank as she reprimands me, barely registering her words.

"Are you even listening to me? Elena! Please, just let me in."

Her voice breaks and Ingrid looks at Mapi, nodding out of the room. They exit and Alba seems glad to have some privacy.

"Why have you not been staying with Mami?"

"Not my choice."

I am embarrassed about how weak my voice is, but I can't muster any more strength.

All of my strength is used up at training, ensuring I am improving, proving my worth. I have to be good enough to stay there.

It is when I get home that things fall apart, so tired, so emotional. It is easier to be emotionless than emotional.

"Was it lonely at home, when Mami was working?"

I nod.

"And when did you start staying with Maria and Aitana?"

I shrug.

"Couple months ago. Soon after the first game. I told Mapi that I felt confused and lonely so she said I would stay with her."

Alba nods, frowning softly. When she speaks again, her voice is soft.

"I wish you would have told me. I am sorry for not noticing. It's still bad with Ale?"

I can't blame her for not knowing, she said months ago that she was going to stay out of our drama.

"We barely look at each other. It hurts, everything... hurts."

I don't cry because I don't think there are any tears left in me.

"And I don't know what to do because she was always the one I went to when I was feeling confused or when I needed things to make sense. You would cheer me up, but she would clear things up."

She nods, looking at me intently, clearly listening.

"And now I can't talk to her and nothing makes sense anymore. I don't understand anything and I just feel so... full. Like I could just burst at any moment but I'm not going to because I don't think I would deal with that very well. And I can't sleep at night because my thoughts won't stop. It's like as soon as I rest my head on the pillow they just start going and I can't stop them and I can't clear them out because-"

She interrupts me.

"Because Alexia was the one who used to get rid of the wriggly thoughts, no?"

I nod and lean my head on her shoulder.

"Have you played the piano much in the past few weeks?"

She knows that it was my way of releasing my emotions.

I haven't, so I shake my head.

"We will change that, ok? I am going to take you home for the afternoon and we'll get some of your clothes, some things you want from home because I do think it is good that you are here with Ingrid and Mapi. And you can play your piano. It'll make you feel better, I'm sure."

I nod, standing up from the sofa and walking out onto the balcony to where Ingrid and Mapi are waiting.

"Alba is taking me home." I probably should have given some more explanation, because Mapi seems confused.

"Her house is too far from here, you can't stay there, Elena."

I nod.

"She's not taking me to hers, she's taking me to my house for the afternoon. I want to play my piano and I need some of my own stuff anyway."

The Spaniard seems to understand. She nods, standing up and pulling me into a hug.

"Call me if you need anything at all."

I nod, rolling my eyes in amusement. She is too good to me. I tap her head when she releases me from the hug and she laughs, moving to sit back down with Ingrid.

"You haven't used it because it's not great, but you can use my keyboard in the study whenever you want."

"Thanks, Ingrid."

~~~~~~

It was weird walking into my bedroom after such a long time not being here. Alba helped me pack clothes into suitcases, telling me over and over that this was all ok, that everything would be ok.

I think she was mainly trying to reassure herself; Alba has always been most effected by anything that breaks our once strong family unity.

But I am only 15. Almost 16 now, but I shouldn't be by myself every night.

Because they were right, I wasn't feeding myself, I wasn't taking care of myself. It wasn't good and it wasn't healthy.

And I will never forget the kindness that both Mapi and Aitana have shown me, stepping in like sisters when Alexia wasn't there like she should have been.

I think about them as I play my piano, my fingers easily falling back into rhythms that are like second nature.

I feel my tense body relaxing as the song flows on, transitioning between fast and slow, loud and soft. My head spins with thought, but the tears do not fall.

Despite the emotions raging inside of me, my face remains stoic, focused only on the intricate patterns my fingers are creating as they hit the keys so hard that there is a slight ache in my hands. My song is full of my emotions, yet it feels like they barely skim the surface of the raging ocean inside of me.

The ocean that keeps producing waves that crash and fall at any chance they can get, usually quelled by the piano, by the rhythms that hold the meanings and secrets of my life. The notes that have written who I am and what I stand for.

But today they do not stop, they barely even slow down and the lack of the release I am hungry for leaves me unsatisfied. The song doesn't explode as usual, instead slowing down to a anticlimactic ending, my hands recoiling from the keys as I frown down at my hands.

Because why is this happening?

The piano is supposed to make me feel better, but all it has done is make me feel more confused, more worried about everything happening outside.

And I feel betrayed. Betrayed by the piano, but betrayed by my father.

Because the piano connects me to him, and I always thought that as long as I could play the piano, he would be there watching me, guiding me. My connection with him is why the piano means so much to me; it is why I can release everything into the music and calm whatever negativity I may be feeling.

But today it feels like he is not here. And as my eyes rest on the picture above the piano, all I feel is disappointment.

Alexia told me that he would be there to watch me from above and she would be there to love me from where she would always be right next to me.

And I knew that if I had them everything would be ok.

But now... Now I have neither and my whole world is going to slowly fall apart. Piece by piece until there is nothing left but me and those stupid emotions that I can't stop thinking about.

The stupid emotions that I have begun to detest.

The stupid emotions that have ruined my life.

Apparently, I have a never ending supply of tears, because they begin to fall again, my arm slamming on the keys with a sob.

I always thought I would have my father there in my piano, that I could rely on the simple instrument for that love that I so deeply desired. And he has never once failed me. Not when I needed him, not when I wanted him. He was even there when I just wanted to play, to learn, to perform.

But right now, when I need him the most, he decides he won't be there.

And it must be my fault.

For the first time in months, I feel completely empty, void of any of the emotions that have consumed me for so long.

The air becomes blurry as I cry, my mind hazy and my senses obscured.

I don't know what is happening to me, but I can feel myself slipping away as my senses disintegrate into nothing.

I think I have broken myself. Because everything is all so confusing, things rushing through my mind and out so quickly that it feels like everything is falling out of me.

Maybe the tsunami wave has grown big enough that it is ready to crash. Maybe it is already crashing, washing away everything in it's path.

But I don't know if I dislike it, because for the first time in a long time, I feel peace. I don't feel so confused anymore because there is nothing left to be confused about.

It is just me, none of those emotions that sent me into constant overdrive, exhausting me but simultaneously preventing me from resting.

None of the emotions that I used to feel coming back to haunt me, no memories of what my life once was there to mock me, a heartbreaking illustration of everything I have lost.

It's all gone.

Everything has slipped away from me and I am finally calm.

It's just me, my piano and my tears.

So I close my eyes softly, my body folding over onto the piano as my sobs soften to quiet cries. A broken chord rings through my room as my head falls onto the keys and I allow myself to just sit there.

Just me, my piano and my tears.

My door opens, but I can't hear the voices that enter my room, or the footsteps that move towards me.

I don't register the bodies that sit on either side of me on the piano stall, or the worried words that escape from their mouths.

It all sounds like a distant murmur. My skin is numb to any contact.

I don't even register Alba grabbing my face and lifting it to stare into my tear-filled eyes. I don't register the soft slap she leaves on it and there is no way for me to notice the terror that is painted all over her face, even evident in her posture.

But another pair of arms wraps around me and everything comes crashing down.

Because they are arms that I will never not recognise. A hold that is tight enough to comfort me, tight enough to make sure I can't escape, but not too tight to choke me or make me feel trapped.

I used to say that Alexia's arms had some sort of magical powers, their innate ability to calm me down and set me straight was an ability that nobody else possessed.

And Alexia was right there, right next to me. A tear stained face that likely matched mine, her voice shaky and worried as she whispered my name over and over again, her tears falling onto my head.

But Alexia was right there, and everything that she has done came flooding back to me, so quickly that I didn't even have time to register it before her touch burned me, my body instinctively recoiling and standing up.

"No..." my voice was a raspy whisper but could be heard loud and clear by both my sisters.

"No, Alexia. No!"

I stepped out of the hold that both the piano stool and my sisters had on me, backing up to where my bags were, picking them up and fleeing the room.

Because I can't deal with this.

I can't deal with the tears that stain Alexia's face, the terror that was clear on Alba's.

Because this all is my fault.

And there is nothing I can do at this point to fix everything I have ruined.

~~~~~~

hope you enjoyed :)

[rilirios]

➢ 香雪酒.

—✦ pairings. yingxing/blade x reader —✦ summary. the last memory you have of your beloved blacksmith. —✦ things to note. header by tuofu 、title translated to “fragrant snow wine” 、fluff to angst、yx x reader -> short blade x reader、reader is a vidyadhara so typical long life species things happen 、implied that reader remembers their past lives 、references to ‘maybe next time’、 proofread ✔️ —✦ extra. send in a request! —✦ notes. little thought i had that turned into a fully fleshed fic! of course its a little angsty at the end, because what are my fics when they dont end up a little sad? the wine names and knowledge may be inaccurate so i apologize for that 😖😖

“(name)?” you turn to see a familiar blacksmith walk up to you. “sorry, did you wait long?” yingxing sheepishly asks, setting down the wine bottle. the two of you had met up for a small ‘end of the year’ gathering. as per usual, yingxing was late.

“fifteen minutes, yingxing,” you comment and the white haired man sighs.

“listen, i got held up at my workshop. forgive me this time, please?” yingxing sat down across from you, pouring himself a glass of wine. this time, he brought huangjiu. it’s a little more bitter and sour than the usual baijiu, or xiang xue jiu he brings, but it has a sweet aftertaste. and free wine is free wine, so who were you to complain?

you laugh at his excuses, taking the bottle from him and pouring yourself a glass. “aren’t you always held up at work? as you’ve said before there’s always something to do.”

yingxing frowned at your words, standing up from his chair (which you assume is because he wants a better look of the city down below). “come on, it’s just the two of us, and you could’ve came early. so i don’t think punctuality should count.” he walks over to you, looking down at the natives that are setting up the new years fireworks.

“punctuality is respectful, and it’s almost twelve. if you left me here for ten more minutes i would’ve left.” ignoring his words, you put your hands together and mumble a few words before chugging down the wine. it’s more sour and bitter, but it has a sweeter aftertaste. you glance down at the townspeople setting up, savoring the view while you’re at it. “the view’s nice,” you mention, “why didn’t you invite the others here? we could’ve had a more eventful evening.”

you look at the blacksmith curiously. it’s not usually like him to invite people out one-on-one. normally when he invites you out, it’s usually with a couple more people. like dan feng or baiheng as an example. your little gathering wasn’t that different from your hangouts though. the only difference would be that it’s just you and yingxing.

you can see yingxing’s hesitation to your question, which makes the outing all the more interesting. why would he invite you to have a new years drink? yingxing fidgets with his hands before answering you, “the.. uhm, view is nicer than other places i’ve found.” he glanced at the townspeople; they were almost finished setting up the fireworks. which meant it was a matter of time before it hit twelve. yingxing then turned back to you. “don’t go telling the others about this place, alright? i’d prefer if you kept this place just between the two of us.”

you raise an eyebrow at his excuse. “that’s all?” you say, resting your chin on your palm. “you’re sure there’s nothing else?” you see yingxing slightly flush at your words, so you note that yingxing was being particularly flustered about this.

“…positive,” yingxing replied, short and straightforward and just a hint of embarrassment. “listen can we just move past this and talk about something else?” he huffs and glances back at you to see your cheeky grin.

that definitely kept him quiet.

the blacksmith sighed and turned away from you (in hopes you didnt see how flushed his face was). gazing down at the town once again, he could see everyone getting ready for the countdown. it’s almost time, then, he thought to himself. yingxing then turned back to you. “(name)! whats your opinion on the huangjiu? i thought i’d try something a little different tonight,” he asked with a determined smile. the blacksmith acted as if he took hours picking and choosing wine that would suit your taste.

you smiled at his attempts at conversation. it was pretty adorable if you thought of it. he reminded you of a child who was looking for their teacher’s validation on an assignment. you laughed at the thought before answering his question.

“it’s more bitter than i’m used to. definitely a transition from the usual sweet wines you bring,” you answer simply and yingxing nods at your response.

“you do like it then?” he queries, “or would you prefer if i just brought what i usually bring?” yingxing adds, looking at you intently.

you bring the cup to your mouth, taking another sip and you savor the taste of the wine this time. “if im being completely honest, i don’t mind what you bring, just as long as we enjoy the night,” you finally answer, setting down your cup and smiling.

“ah but that doesn’t really answer my—“

“but if you must know i do prefer the xiang xue jiu,” you swiftly add, which makes the blacksmith laugh a little.

“noted. i’ll keep that in mind next time,” he grinned, looking at the town one final time. you notice this and also take a glance.

“already loading up the fireworks, huh?” you can see the town getting more crowded as more people gather around to look at the fireworks. you look back at yingxing, smirking. “you know what that means, right?”

the man sighed and shifted his weight to one side. “the years nearly over,” yingxing poured himself another cup, downing it all in one go. then, the two of you start hearing people chant;

“five!”

you both look down at the town, seeing a crowd holding lanterns, sparklers, anything that can produce light. you smile at the sight, looking back at yingxing to see his reaction. the blacksmith has a slightly troubled expression on his face, ghosting his fingers on the rim of his cup— you figured out it was something he did every time he was nervous.

“four!”

you think of reasons to why he’d be troubled.

“three!”

new year troubles, you ponder. it’s possible yingxing’s anxious of what’s to come with the new year ahead of him. but then you think a little deeper.

“two!”

it’s not like yingxing to be nervous, is it? he’s usually so confident and bold, it’s almost laughable seeing him so nervous and bothered. you quietly laugh to yourself at the thought.

“one!”

a small smile made it’s way onto yingxing’s face when he saw you laugh. though it disappeared quick when the fireworks boomed and the “happy new year!” from the town below. you both gaze at the fireworks, simply admiring the sight.

you glanced at yingxing and he glanced back. giving him a subtle smile, you say, “happy new yea—“

though your words were abruptly interrupted by yingxing pressing a short, chaste kiss to your cheek, followed by a mumbled, “happy new year.” yingxing steps back, looking a bit sheepish. then a thought pops into your mind.

was this what he was worried about earlier? you laugh quietly at the thought, a subtle blush creeping up your cheeks.

“yingxing,” you began, chin resting in the middle of your palm as you gazed at him with the cheeky grin he had grown to love. “was there something more to this small gathering?”

—

how long ago was that? you’re not sure. you only know that it’s been too long since your last meeting with him.

since the last time you saw him.

it was quite infuriating, honestly. the moment you come back from your trip abroad, the only thing waiting for you was a letter. confused and distressed, you consulted jing yuan.

though the answers he gave you weren’t at all satisfactory.

more years pass by and you’ve started fresh. new life, new name, new everything. but the memories with yingxing and the quintet still remained. you knew you should’ve forgot about him when you had the chance. like how jing yuan managed to get over everything.

but you couldn’t forget. every time you walk by a familiar street, you always remember the days when the quintet was still active. especially that damned blacksmith.

you knew you should’ve forgotten about all of this years ago. it was the only way for you to peacefully move on. instead of doing that, however, you watch your old companions lead the lives of their choosing.

it wasn’t long before you spot a familiar looking swordsman on the news.

© rilirios 2024. if you steal my works i will cry

footnotes. oh my sana can you tell i love this man blade all day everyday man. this was extremely self ship coded…..

[grace-williams-xo]

RAMBLING THOUGHTS AFTER FINISHING PART TWO. GONNA ADDRESS MY P1 THOUGHTS FIRST. SPOILER WARNING.

1 & 2: I think Debling could’ve worked in the second half, and I’m kinda sad Cressida didn’t get a happy ending. The Creloise fell of a CLIFF after ep 5 but I think it could still be saved

5: no cishet man has ever loved his wife more than Anthony Bridgerton I’m gonna be ill

6 & 12: kanthony’s absence was felt BAD in the finale, I think their reactions to LW were sorely needed. Also Jonny and Simone have both said they’ll be at every sibling’s wedding and stick around for years but they missed Francesca’s??? Also felt their absence too much then. They’re both booked and busy I think we’ll continue to only get a couple episodes a season from them

8: Francesca did get to thrive happy in pt 2 my baby I love her

9: I think they managed to disconnect the mondrich plot even further like 😭 once again, I don’t mind them their plot just feels very empty

10: Pen and Delacroix CONTINUE to be my fave duo I love them so freaking much and they can never get rid of it

13: Portia’s growth this season continued to be 10/10 I loved her and Penelope’s relationship it really showed what it’s like to be closely related to people you oppose and the process of needing to forgive and understand them for your own peace of mind

14: that was not how I was expecting Colin to find out about Whistledown

15: Marcus felt a little rushed in part two but I think I need to watch the whole season together to fully decide

17: this was indeed the longest 27 days of my life I got Covid day after it dropped lmfao

MY ~NEW~ THOUGHTS:

We finally got character development from Cressida and if they write her out I’ll be inconsolable (as will Jessica Madsen)

I hope they paid Golda Rosheuvel good for her feet exposure. Worth more than titties in this economy

I feel the need to tell everyone that £5000 in 1815 is in the realm of £500,000 today and we cannot brush over the fact Penelope has made herself the equivalent of a literal millionaire

Anthony has two moods ‘I’m obsessed with my wife’ ‘I want to win this game’ like it is comical how drastically different his facial expression is in the game of charades compared to pretty much every other scene

Anthony saying the marriage is perfect and not hard work and Kate being like BOY I will humble you,,,, doing the lord’s work I love her so much

At some points I felt like Francesca was fighting Anthony for ‘Violet’s least favourite child’ award lmao

John saying he’s off to look at the wainscotting was unfairly funny

Cressida in the red dress is even better than I imagined fuck even if she’s not gay then I am

Peneloise back together the universe is healing I love my babies all we need now is creloise lovers and peneloise friendship simultaneously I don’t like it being one or the other sue me

However much Brimsley is getting paid isn’t enough,,,, Hugh Sachs the man that you are

I adored Penelope’s wedding dress so much and as bitter as I am still about no kanthony wedding in s2, it felt kind of right somehow for Polin to be the first wedding we properly see in this show

Most of the costumes and makeup feel like they got worse,,,,, big ‘I hired a 14 year old’ energy. I don’t need historical accuracy but I would like a modicum of care and the costume/hair/makeup dept looking at a single historical reference from before 1850,,,, please

We all got the bi Benedict we’ve been asking for and I appreciate it, and recognise that he needed Tilley to explore that, but I still would’ve preferred if they first main queer experience was not a threesome

If they go straight into benophie in s4 (which idk, I’m so torn bc I feel like F, E and B all could work well next season) then I also feel like bi Benedict was just them throwing a bone for 5 mins but meant nothing

The CONTENTIOUS Michaela Stirling,,,,, I was undecided until I saw it but that was the definition of gay panic from Francesca and it worked so well I am so excited.

As your resident peerage expert, it is much easier for women to inherit titles in Scotland than England so I wonder (not that anyone on this show knows anything) if that was a reason they chose Francesca to be sapphic [general peerage info and female inheritance info if you care]

On the above, if they can canonically end racism with one marriage then they can end homophobia with one marriage as well

We all know Eloise was the easy and obvious choice to be the queer love story but part of me does kind of like them not taking the easy route, and them going something more unexpected, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want Creloise/Sapphic El like they had eight children let’s be honest

Finch’s sneeze and Phillips’s “now Varely! The bugs!” were unfairly funny

Everything Lady Danbury said to Penelope about suspecting her and what not felt very in character and you can fight with the wall idc

Did they tell us the name of Polin’s baby boy???

Hyacinth saying she thinks of Gregory as the family pet,,,,, girl you an icon walking amongst mere mortals

Predictions I got right:

Anthony didn’t kill Colin, but “are you gonna duel your own brother” lmao I was on the right track

I knew Polin would win the Featherington baby race and I love that for them (but why were Prudence and Phillipa pregnant most of the season, barely showing, Kate was showing almost immediately, and then in the epilogue the sisters all had baby’s similar-ish ages???? Give the writers room a calendar please)

I SAID FROM DAY DOT THAT THE FURNITURE THEY BROKE FROM SEX WAS A CHAISE I CANT FIND THE POST BUT I KNEW IT I FUCKING KNEW IT WHERE DO I COLLECT MY PRIZE SOME OF YOUR GUESSES WERE TRULY FUCKING COOKED

Okay that was too long if you made it this far I’ll make you cookie ily

[incogrio]

h.kai - send off part two ～*° °。｡

pairing: huening kai x fem bodied reader

genre: fluff, angst, SMUT!!

synopsis: a month has gone by since your dreamy encounter with huening kai. and he hasn’t said a word to you.

warnings: sad in the beginning, general smut warnings, eating out, slightly public smut, sub! kai, dom!ish reader, inaccurate depictions of huening kai’s head game

w/c: 2.5k+

a/n: ONE person asked for a part two (yk who u are) and i once again, was possessed by the ningdungie inside me. and kai inside me. so uhhh yeah enjoy pookies.

part one

COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK HEAVILY APPRECIATED!

it had been days since your dreamy encounter with huening kai had burnt itself into your skull. you found yourself giggling when imagining his smile, unable to fall asleep as you awaited his text. but it never came.

on the morning after your meeting with him, you sent him a friendly: “hi!”. you hadn’t expected a response immediately, he is a busy idol after all. but after three days, you had started to grow worried. what if he got in trouble with his staff? did he realize his mistake in trusting you and change his number?

you decided to send another text: “i hope you’re eating and resting well!” radio silence. nothing but your anxiety plaguing your mind. you had fallen for him so quickly, and now every time you’d seek comfort, you’d find yourself thinking about what could have been. your comfort is now your plague, and you sob into your pillow.

a month has gone by. by this point, you’ve accepted his disappearance. you send him messages everyday; treating his number like your personal diary.

“i had ramen today, but the noodles were kind of hard.” [delivered: 12:34 PM]

“i haven’t been able to sleep recently, thinking of you too much.” [delivered: 4:37 AM]

“today a girl complimented my outfit! i was so happy i could barely even say thank you haha!!” [delivered: 6:13 PM]

“i wonder why you gave me this number. was it a prank?” [read: 2:48 AM]

you thought you were hallucinating. you must’ve stayed on that chat for hours, refreshing and refreshing. now you were the one giving him silence.

it made hyuka’s stomach churn. he had been fighting with his members and the staff for the past month, desperately trying to convince them that he was not threatened, that he did not need to change his number, and that he did see a relationship with you. every night, he’d sob as he read your messages. he knew he couldn’t begin a relationship if he would have to break it off, but this hurt more. your constant wondering of his affections, your desperate attempts to get him to say something, anything. it made him want to throw up. he could only imagine the look on your face as he delivered you your thoughts, once more.

but today, today he did it. today they agreed to let him at the very least commune with you online. huening had sprinted to the nearest bathroom, locking himself in and pressing his back to the door, sinking till his butt softly touching the cold tiles under him. he opened your chat, frowning at your most recent text.

“i wonder why you gave me this number. was it a prank?” [delivered: 12:56 AM]

his hands shook as he tapped your contact, turning on read receipts for the first time. he didn’t know when you had seen the change, but he knew that you suddenly gave him a taste of his own medicine. he didn’t know what to say. what to do. his thumbs shook as he typed out a message, before deleting it.

“oh.” [read: 3:01 AM]

he jumps, eyes widening. he quickly types without thinking.

“i promise i can explain. let me meet with you. please.” he responds, to which you see it immediately. on your end, you’re on borderline tears. for a month, all you had wanted to see was his response. his notification. and now that you have it, you didn’t even know what to do with it.

“okay. meet me at the bench where we first exchanged numbers.” [read: 3:02 AM]

“okay! thank you. i’m on my way now!!(*^^*)♡” you rolled your eyes at his kaomoji with a slight smile on your face. you got up slowly, before tugging on the quickest outfit and bursting through your door and down to the lobby of your apartment building.

you deserved an explanation, but you would fold the moment you saw his bright blue hair. you tried your best to discipline yourself as you walked through the slightly humid streets, slowly making your way to the now empty concert venue.

huening types out his speech as he walks, slowly nearing where he had met you. he takes a deep breath as he turns the corner, seeing you sitting on a bench whilst looking around expectantly.

he sneaks up behind you and taps you on the shoulder once more. “hi,” he says, his voice shaking out of nerves.

you turn around, getting a strange sense of deja vu. do not fold, you tell yourself. “hey. so…”

hyuka clears his throat, reaching into his pocket and shakily opening his phone. he reads off the note he wrote, “i-i know you are angry with me. and you have every right to be, but i need to at least explain to you-“

“kai, what are you doing?” he looks up.

“wh- i’m… i wrote it in advance, so i wouldn’t forget anything… i’m.. is that rude?” he asks, reaching up and scratching the back of his neck softly.

you sigh. you reach for his phone and place it back into his pocket, before taking his hand and leading him to sit next to you.

“i agreed to hear you out, kai, not your notes app. please, you do not need to be perfect around me.” you mutter reassuringly, yet sternly.

he feels himself tearing up, his lip wobbling softly. he looks at you as the wind blows your hair softly and the street light illuminates your skin. an angel, he thinks to himself. my angel.

“oh- okay! s-so, i was not ignoring you. i was reading your messages! it’s just that i was sort of fighting with everyone at hybe to convince them that you’re NOT a saesang- not- not that you seem like one it’s just that when an idol gives out their number they tend to think that- that they had to give it away and that was NOT the case and- and so i basically has to convince them to not change my number and it was so fucking hard and i JUST-“

you smile to yourself softly, “kai. kai! take a breath. i’m not going anywhere.” you take a deep breath, and he follows.

“and… and i just got them to agree that you are worth it and…” he looks down at his hands, playing with them. “and i didn’t want to start a relationship with you until i was sure it would work out.” he mutters, his voice becoming warbling more and more by the second. “i’m so sorry-“ he can barely get out, before he breaks into sobs. you immediately hug him, taking his head and tucking it into your neck, cradling him.

“oh hyuks…” you mutter, softly kissing his head. “you hurt me a lot,” you explain, and he whines softly into your neck, “but… i understand. i do. you don’t need to worry. cry if you need to, but not because i’m leaving.” you whisper as passersby begin to look over. a six foot tall broad man being cradled in the arms of someone significantly smaller than him is not a usual sight.

after a few seconds, he softly calms into a sniffle. “i don’t deserve you.” he mutters, playing with the hem of your shirt and staying at his position of being wrapped around you.

you hum, “you don’t know how many people disagree with you.”

he untucks his head from your neck before slowly lifting a hand to your cheek. his eyes flick between your eyes to your lips, a silent question.

you aren’t even through your first nod before he launches forward, kissing you like he needed oxygen from your lips. you wrap your arms around his neck, moaning softly as he bites your lip. he smiles against your mouth in satisfaction, before tilting his head to kiss you deeper. both of you begin to run out of breath, and neither of you find it in you to care. his lips are salty, drenched in his tears. you are addicted to their taste. he whines softly, pushing you back in a desperate attempt to get closer to you. you slowly lean back, before your head softly hits the arm rest of the bench.

you pull away, despite hyuka’s attempt to follow you. you breathe heavily in each others faces, and kai grins at you.

“i have waited so…” he leans down and presses kisses to your neck and jaw, “so long..” he says lowly. you bite your lip, attempting to hold back a moan as he sucks a hickey onto your neck.

“oh my- kai!” you push against his broad shoulders. “we’re in public!”

he pulls away, pulling you up with him. “we… we could be in private. if you want…” he says, eyes drifting to the street that leads to the hotel he’s staying at, before snapping back to you. it’s as though he cannot bare to not have you in his sight.

“won’t people see us?” you ask, slightly confused as to how he was able to get here, apologize and make out with you all without being recognized. he bites his lip in thought, before his eyes light up.

“do you care where we go?” he asks, eyebrows crinkling up in question.

“…i mean… i guess not…” you state, the syllables turning up at the end in slight confusion.

the last place you expected him to lead you was his tour bus. you stare at him incredulously as he unlocks the door, leading you in hand in hand. you marvel at the expensive equipment.

“kai we are not fucking in your tour bus! what if we don’t clean up well and one of your members notices? we should just go home separately and sext or something-“

he cups your cheeks. “i will make sure everything is fine. there’s a bathroom with enough supplies to clean, i have my own bunk bed. you don’t have to worry baby.” he responds reassuringly. “but, if you don’t want to then that’s fine. we could get some froyo instead? does that sound good?” he says smiling, before walking towards the tour bus door.

god, respectful men are so hot.

you tug his hand, pulling him back. “please,” you mumble, looking away like a child.

he smirks. “please what?” he asks smugly, you know he knows what, and he knows he knows what. he just wanted to hear you say it.

“please… please fuck me kai… went a whole month without you, didn’t talk to or even look at anyone else… only…” he begins kissing your neck, “only you kai… please, i’ve been so good for you..” you moan out.

his fingertips squeeze your waist tightly, pushing you back until you hit a small kitchen counter. he reaches up and softly wraps his hand around your throat, eyebrows raising as he asks for your consent. you respond by placing your hand over his and pushing his hand tighter around your neck. he groans before you launch forward, first kissing his lips down to his neck.

“no,” he says sternly, pulling you back by the neck. “no kissing anywhere but my lips. you cannot leave a mark.” he says seriously. god, him being an idol really sucked sometimes.

you pout at him, looking at him through your eyelashes, “nowhere… else..?” you ask, eyes showing disappointment as he tells you that you can’t mark him up and show everyone he was yours.

he smiles at you reassuringly, cupping your cheek and running his thumb across your cheekbone. “i am still yours, marked or not,” he mutters, slowly leaning closer and brushing his lips against yours by tilting his head up momentarily, silently asking if you felt better. you responded by leaning forward, kissing him softly, making sure he felt all the love you had been longing to give him for a month.

he groans against your mouth, fingers digging into your waist as he grows needer. “fuck… need,,” he mumbles, pressing kisses down your neck, “need to taste you, baby. please,” he makes his way down your sternum, “i’ve been so good, haven’t i… baby..?” he looks up from his crouched spot in between your breasts through his eyelids, watching you watch him. you nod, reaching down and moving his hair out his eyes.

he slowly sinks to his knees, licking his lips as he pressed kisses to your plush belly.

a small , ‘mmm’, escaped him as he felt your stomach sink momentarily at his kiss before plushing up once more.

“kai…” you sigh out, before reaching your hand into his hair and tugging him to look up at you, “you need to hurry up.” the stern tone in your voice had caught him off guard, but made his pants ever tighter around his growing bulge.

his bit his lip, looking down at the waist band of your skirt with hungry eyes. he nods, humming a approving tune and muttering out ‘sorry baby.’ over and over. he finally reaches up to your skirt and tugs it down harshly, the cold hair making your legs prickle up with goosebumps.

he almost drools at the sight of your underwear. kai cannot contain himself any longer, launching himself forward to mouth at your clothed clit. he moans to himself as you tighten your grip on his blue hair, muttering soft praises into the otherwise silent tour bus.

it wasn’t long before he reached up, pulling your panties for the side with one hand and shoving your leg over his shoulder with the other. you brace yourself, but nothing could have prepared you for his lips immediately wrapping around your clit, sucking harshly at your swollen nub. you have lost all sense of dignity and pride, choosing to replace it with kai. kai. kai. kai. you moan out, slightly placing your weight against the counter, fighting the leg on his shoulder to wrap around his head. tugging him ever closer.

“f..fuck kai! so good..” you moan, breathing heavily as he runs his tongue up and down your folds, alternating between pistoning his organ into your hole and swirling and sucking at your clit.

he lets out moans every few moments, sending your hips bucking into his face, “don’t you dare stop, hyu..hyuka..”

he shakes his head against your pussy, fervently telling you that no, he will not stop. not until you’re shaking and his entire face is drenched in your fluids.

and even then, even when you were shaking, desperately trying to get him away from your pulsating pussy, he kept going.

“fuck!! kai! please, i came… please stop!” you borderline shout, the overstimulation driving you crazy as you almost climb onto the counter to get away from his skillful tongue.

finally, a pussy drunk kai pulls away. he breathes heavily, your juices covering from his chin to the bridge of his nose, the window behind you making him glisten.

“sorry,” he muttered half heartedly with his nerdy little voice. you chose to completely lay down on the counter, regaining your sense of reality.

you chuckle, “that was.. kind of crazy.”

“good crazy?” he asked, standing up and rubbing your thighs comfortably.

“mhm,” you mutter, sitting up and reaching your hand to palm his bulge. kai immediately turns bright red, looking at the floor rather than you.

it was wet. drenched, actually. he had already cum. not just once, but twice whilst feeding on you.

he had half expected you to laugh at him, call him a bitchless loser and shame him. instead you kissed him, “such a good boy to cum while pleasing me..”

oh. oh you had unlocked a beast. he growls against your lips, picking you up and shoving you onto one of the small bunk beds in the bus.

“i’ll show you what a good boy i can be.”

epilogue:

kai had at least had the decency to bring you to his hotel room after the staff and members had all gone to sleep. you deserved a good nights sleep after all.

he had helped you limp into the bathroom, where you now sat on the toilet, back leaned against the wall.

he was in between your legs once more, but with a softer intention this time. he softly wiped your folds free of any residue, shushing you everytime you whined at the overstimulation.

“better?” he asked, getting up and wetting his toothbrush, squeezing toothpaste onto its bristles and holding you by your chin. he softly tugged at your chin, encouraging you to open your mouth. he smiled softly when you tiredly obeyed, and began cleaning your mouth.

you stared at him with wide, fucked out eyes. he would glance at you every few moments, before going back to focusing on your teeth. a small, flustered smile lingered on his mouth, and pink dusted his cheeks everytime.

after you were clean, you watched him brush his own teeth with the same toothbrush. you didn’t have it in you to complain.

it wasn’t long before he had you change into his clothes, to which his heart soared after seeing you dawning his shark hoodie, boxers and basketball shorts. he softly tucked you next to him into the hotel bed that smelled so comfortably of him, smiling to himself as you tucked your head into his neck. he squeezed you impossibly closer.

god he loved- wait… was he falling in love with you?

please dm or comment to be added to the taglist!

[sttm99]

Omg could you write abt the reader being old ‘friends’ with bakugo before he joined the lov and one day the reader goes home to find him drunk in her apartment waiting for her saying how much he missed her or whatever and it gets spicyyy

tyy ❤️❤️

TW...? Swearing, Sex (Oral, Unprotected), Alcohol Consumption.

He looks horrible.

His hair is rough and stained dark with dirt, clothes tattered, and you can see a bruise peeking out between the hole in his jeans.

"The fuck are you doing here?"

Your voice comes out shaky and uneven as you stand before him, practically looming over him as he sat on your couch.

Bakugo doesn't look at you, instead staring down at his hands, holding the bottle of vodka he'd almost completely emptied. "I... I-"

"You what?!" You harshly spit out, fists clenched by your side.

It takes everything in you to not start raining insults and curses down at him. You can only stare in utter disappointment at how he'd turned out.

All the opportunities he'd had at UA, all his accolades and dreams, gone down the drain once he'd left. And he had the guts to end up looking so desolate?!

It makes you mad how pitiful it all was. Bakugo, the Bakugo that you'd always admired and looked up to, ending up this way - dirty and drunk on your couch after running around with the LOV for 5 years.

"Look at you!" You yell out, snatching the bottle of alcohol from his hands and slamming it down on your coffee table. "You look disgusting! Look at your hair, your clothes - when was the last time you even showered? Are you homeless - you look-"

"This morning."

"What?" You pause your ranting, blinking down at him and still raging.

He sniffs, raising a hand to scratch at his chin. "The- I showered this morning.... I promise." His voice is hoarse, his words slightly drawn out.

You let out a sigh, crouching so you were at eye level with him. "What are you doing here, Bakugo?" You ask softly, lips stretched downwards in a frown.

"I- I just..." he begins, uncharacteristically stuttering and slurring as he speaks. "I didn't know where else to go."

You glance at the vodka on your table, then back at Bakugo. "You're not a drinker." You simply say before standing and making your way to the adjacent couch. "What are you doing here, Katsuki?"

He perks up, lazy eyes instantly locking on to your own. "I- I haven't been called that in so long."

You frown, arms crossed as you sat down. "You look like shit, you know that?"

"I kno-"

"You've been gone for 5 years." His expression falls again. "It's not even like you were failing at school- you weren't! You were actually a top student- you had everything lined up for you, Katsuki! Everything! And you left, and this is all you have to show?!"

"I'm sorry."

"You left us all, disappointed everyone; your parents, your teachers, your classmates, me! And you didn't care! You threw us all away without a thought- not one back then and not any in all the years you've been gone-"

"But I did think about you." He cuts you off quickly, sad eyes boring into your angry, teary ones. "Every day, YN. If nothing else, I thought about you...."

You pause, glaring at him as he kept speaking.

"Liar." You whisper.

"'m not... I promise." He replies.

It hurts even more knowing he thought about you and never bothered to come back.

"That's why I'm here," he continues, standing from the couch and shakily making his way to where you were sat. "I- I missed you, YN... I wanted to see you and-"

"And show me what you turned out to be?" You hiss at him. "Why would you come back to me like this?" You sharply stand, looking up at him with so much hurt and anger. "You're drunk, and you're so roughed up and- Katsuki, you're a mess."

"I know- I know." He swiftly grabs your hands, holding them together tightly in his own. "That's why I came to you. I need you to fix me."

"Fix you? Are you hearing yourself?"

"Please...I don't want this anymore. I- I'm tired, please. I'm just... I don't know what else to do, who else to go to, you're the only one I can think about." He speaks with more vigour than you'd seen all evening, his grip getting tighter as he leaned closer to you.

"I can't-" You begjn, trying to force the words out your tightening throat. "I can't help you, Katsuki." You force through, words loud and trying so hard not to let the tears fall. "You're too far gone. What am I to do with you?"

"Too far gone?!" The suddeness of his yell has you flinching away, which in turn makes him tighten his grip, holds you in place so you can't move too far away. "It's still me, you know? It's always still been me. I'm still here-"

"Doesn't that make it worse? That it's just you- and you're just a monster."

Your words cut deep, silence running in its wake for a few moments before he's leaning closer, so close you can see the lines of his lips, his pores, his eyes so clear.

"Do I look like a monster to you?" He asks softly.

"Yes."

No.

It's not true. He looks like 6 years ago, when you were both back in school, and he was the unfairly strong, brooding kid who sat right behind you in class. And knocked on your room door every night at 5 pm so you could study together. And who quite nearly beat you up every time you doubted yourself, felt like you didn't belong, who forced you to feel like you were in the right place.

He looks like a years ago, the same boy who'd have found you and beat the crap out of you if you ever defected, who you know would take you back in if you ever decided to come back.

"Please... you're the only person I want to help me," Katsuki whispers to you, so different from his old brazen self, and you don't know if it's the alcohol or the time that's made him so. "If not you... there's nowhere else I can go."

And you can't help but cry, tears streaming down your face as you pull your hand away and wrap your arm around his shoulder, your head on his chest, holding him and crying.

"Why did you leave me?" You sob softly into him, body relaxing into his hold as both his hands let go of yours to hold on to your hips, keeping your body pressed against his. "Why wasn't I enough to make you stay?"

He breathed out, arms wrapping tightly around your body. "You're enough to bring me back." He whispers into your hair, "You're enough to keep me going, to make me believe it doesn't have to end like this... you're enough- for me."

You sniff softly, and he leans raises a palm to your cheek, cradling your face softly. "I've missed you," he whispers, "So much... please believe me. I've missed you."

He begins pressing his lips to your hair, then he's on your forehead, both hands now on your cheeks. You're still sniffling when his lips come down to your nose, and you're still sniffling when he pulls away to stare at you.

It's a quick, intense look before he's crushing his lips against yours, his fingers digging into your cheekbones, his mouth hungry and desperate as he devours yours.

It's been years since he's kissed anyone... and never with such need. He holds your face close to his, like he's scared you'll disappear once he let's go, and he refuses to come up for air, refuses to let his lips leave yours for too long.

And you're not much better, your hands tightly fisted into his thick, ugly shirt, keeping him close to you. You've stopped sobbing, not like you could when he swallowed every sound so greedily.

You spend what feels like hours just kissing, like it's an art form, some sort of nourishment for you two.

But then he's pushing you towards the couch, and you're quick to start undoing the buttons of your shirt. You're still clothed when the back of your knees hit the couch, and Bakugo's impatience has his mouth coming down on your neck, his hands snatching at your shirt and ripping.

But you don't care enough to reprimand him, not when you're releasing soft moans and sighs as his hand engulfs your left breast, kneading and squeezing. His technique is crude, but his desperation turns you on.

He's messy and hungry as his hands touch you all over, your waist, your back, your ass after you both manage to get your bottoms off.

He hastily pulls his shirt over his head and throws it carelessly the moment you tug on it, and then his lips are around your nipples, sucking on them and twirling them around with his tongue.

"Katsuki..." You whisper into the air, back arching and fingers in his hair as he kisses down your sternum. "I've- I've missed you so much."

"Me too," he's standing up, and you're still lying on the couch, resting on the back as he pulls your knees up, "So much." You feel his breath against your clothed cunt, hot.

"Don't leave me again," You whisper, and he's slowly pulling your panties to the side.

"I won't," he tells you as his tongue slides along your folds.

He makes you cum once on his tongue, and then twice more; when he fucks you on your carpet, and then when you ride him on the couch.

He's not so sweet with it, his hands harsh on you and his lips desperately marking his presence unto your skin. But you love it that way, you love how you can feel him so deep, how his eyes watch every inch of you.

You love it when he cums and fills you, when he's moaning your name, every nickname he's ever called you in the past, telling you how much you consumed his mind.

There's no way he's leaving again, and there's no way you're letting him.

[pantheresssy]

In The News (Art Donaldson/Reader)

Hi there!

First fic and also first smut in a long time! I didn’t remembered that it was so complicated to write, but I think that’s pretty good (not in the end tho). Hope u guys enjoy.

Summary: You make an article not very favorable to Tashi and Art's marriage, and he just has to show you how well they are; by fucking you while talking about how much he loves her.

warnings: smut, +18 only, kind of dom!art (even when it doesn’t look like that, power play, r is a smart bitch, quick fuck, and art talks about tashi less times than I expected.

The marriage of the two biggest tennis stars is on the verge of collapse! Art and Tashi Donaldson share only two things in common: their profession and a daughter, since love is not equal.

Tashi seems very unhappy with where she lives and, to escape, she hangs out in the middle of the night with a loser named Patrick Zweig to have something more.

May be Art losing his so loved wife?

And just like that his morning was ruined.

This article was the first of many that would come, Art was sure. With those words, he would become even more the center of attention, this time bringing the worst part of his marriage to the surface. Nothing but perfection was what Tashi taught him to show when it came to that union, with that matter, everything she took care of, even the smallest detail, fell apart. Everything would turn into a snowball because of a few words and a photo of her leaving in the middle of the night.

Even though he didn't want to see anything else, Art picked up his phone and quickly looked for the name signed. Y/n Y/l. The first to really bother him. He just had to take matters into his own hands.

That's how he ended up in front of the door of your house, ringing the bell without stopping.

When you opened it, the look of surprise on your face almost made him smile. You were prettier in person than in the photos on the internet, not that he would really care about that. "Sir. Donaldson, what a surprise."

He rested his shoulder on the hinge of the door and looked at you. He had a serious expression, but his eyes sparkled with something that you guessed was amusement. "I can say the same. The news earlier today were quite a shock to me, you know,"

"Oh, you read it." The shock weighed on your face. You were using it to confuse him and play innocent, and it might actually be working, if the way he moved was any indication. "I'm sorry you find out this way, but a good story just need to published."

He clenched his jaw and gave you a tight-lipped smile. "I understand that, but you might have misunderstood the real situation. And I would like to clarify things to you."

Your smile brightened. "An exclusive interview? This would be wonderful, Mr. Donaldson. Come in, please." He hummed and passed by you when you took a step back.

Art sat in an armchair facing you, with the coffee table being the only thing separating the two of you. "Tashi was trying to convince Patrick to let her be his trainer, no date's like you said."

"But she was trying to convince him at 2 am? It's quite a anormal time for a job meeting, don't you think?"

He wanted to rip out all the quick answers you had and throw them away before it led to a more tragic ending. You weren't worried about anything other than having something fresh to say and you would wrap him in a web until you pulled the answers out of his mouth. "She didn't want me to know about it. Him and I have a hard past."

You nodded understandably and looked at him with sad eyes. What is she doing. "I know. You took his girl, but not before he took her from you."

Frozen in place. That's how he was. Frozen and looking at with quite scared. Nobody knew about what happened in Stanford, he didn't have anyone to tell, nobody was paying attention to Art Donaldson. "And how you assume this?"

Your eyes shone as if he had made the one million question. "Nothing better than have a history from the ones who experienced everything." And when your smile became more malicious, he finally realized.

"Patrick were never good on telling things," He affirmed, trying to put the control back on his lap. "But the lies he tell must be pretty convincing."

You agreed. "They were, if you being here is an indication."

Art felt fucked. He didn't know how to convince you. You were a journalist, even when publishing those things. It was your job to check the facts and not being fooled easily.

So he appealed for his best quality; his seduction.

He wasn't by far the ultimate guy on flirting, but he could do one thing or other. And, if he was being honest, it wouldn't be the worst thing trying to do it with you. After all, you're a pretty, fucking bastard woman, who he just wanted to make take back your own words.

Art rested his elbows on his knees and placed his hands in fists under his chin. This way, he would look at you underneath. "You know how to do a pretty number out of people,"

Again, your smile. "I would be worried if I don't. This is my job, Mr. Donaldson."

"You're good at it," He corresponded your amusement and ran his eyes on you. The way you're sitting didn't let much to look for, but it was enough to make him flinch.

You got silent for a little, waiting for him to take the lead. When it didn't happen, you took the ball back. "Well, you never told me how you felt about you ex best friend going out with your wife."

He dismissed the question. "I didn’t because there's nothing to feel." It wasn't as convincing as he thought, but it was a will-do answer.

You got up and went to a table behind the couch you were sitting, giving him the opportunity to drop his shoulders and close his eyes. "I could be more convinced if you had told me that you already know and didn't care. Tashi doesn't love you, does she?"

And again, he was fucked. "Of course she does. She wouldn't be with me if she didn't." And he wanted to believe his own words.

"She can't play anymore, Mr. Donaldson, but you can."

A glass of whiskey is given to him and he took without thinking twice. The first sip burned his throat, but the second seemed softer than the look you're throwing in his direction. "She's not with me for it, Y/n. Trust me." The amount of times he had justified himself was getting out of his math.

You sit on the center table, mirroring his position so you would be closer to his face. "If she's not then why she didn't let you retire? To live the the peaceful and easy life you desire?"

Art blinked and took a deep breath while thinking about what you asked. It was a hard question since he knew the reason why, but he wouldn't let you win. "She wants to see me go higher,"

The laugh came out of you easily, so much that you didn't even made any effort to put it out. "You know I'm right, Mr. Donaldson. Just say it." His eyes locked with yours and he stopped breathing.

No second passed before he putted his lips on yours, letting the cup on the floor to wrap his hands on your neck. And for the first time he was happy to have something from your mouth.

You were pulling him by his shirt, bringing him up so you could take off his clothes without success. His breathing was hot against your check and he was devouring you as if you were the last meal he would have. Maybe you were, who knows.

The steps you took backward led you to the drinks table, where he pressed you back with his pelvis, making you feel how hard he was just for that little moment. "Mr. Donaldson,"

Art tangled his fingers in your hair and pulled your head back. You sucked on his lip as you were forced away from his mouth and he groaned. It was something low and hoarse that made you grin.

"I don't wanna waist no time." He whispered.

You pushed him away, not too much, and took your clothes off. First the shirt, the jeans, your bra and underwear. All of this under his eyes. "Won't take yours off?"

He quickly got as naked as you, giving you a pretty view of his trobbing cock. Art pushed you on the table, your ass beating against the tray with the drink bottles and shaking everything out of the place. You loved the silverware but at that moment your mind was running with the idea of him.

His lips were making their way to your breasts, his tongue flicking your nipple sending a shiver to your back. Your hands were os his shoulder, your nails digging into his skin leaving red trails on it's way. "I I underestimated you."

He squeezed your thighs, his thumb rubbing against the Inside. "Why?" His lips kissed your belly and he kept his way down.

"I thought you were Tashi's pretty doll, that she could control and play anytime." You pulled his hair when you felt his tongue close to your pussy. "But here you are, about to fuck me against my table,"

He only shaked his head in agreement, still more focused on what his mouth was doing. His arms went around your knees and opened your legs wider. "I love Tashi," He said and licked a line in your slit.

You closed your eyes and dropped you head behind, smiling. "You do?" A hum.

"I fuck her every day. Not him. She carries my ring, we have a daughter."

His fingers caressed your clit, his tongue now going inside your opening. The moan that came out of your mouth were the most pornographic you ever gave. "Then why you're here, Mr. Donaldson?"

Art left his spot making your hips clench with a sharp spasm. His lips quickly went to your neck, letting small kisses that burned like fire in each part of your body. "To tell how much we love each other."

Your hands went for his cock, "Do it then, tell me."

Art stepped between your legs and he let your hands guide him. Reaching your entrance, his cock twitched as he felt the heat, and his hips went forward with a impulse. He was against your g spot.

His noises were the best thing you've ever heard. "We've been together for years, no fights, never breaking up. But you just had to put something to make us fight, don’t you?”

Art's hips moved away and came back, knocking against yours making a loud noise. The table became unstable beneath you. "I have to give people a good run for their money, Donaldson."

You clenched around him, pulling him tigh. Art looked to were you both were together and stared to go faster. Your smell was in the air between you. "Tashi is my wife," He whispered in your ear. "The one I put a ring on."

Your hands went down to his ass, squeezing and help him with his moves. "And look were you are now."

He could feel the angry again. Not even when he was pounding on you hard you stopped the smart mouth. The way you always knew what to say to let him lost.

Trying to put you into silence, he grabbed your knees. Now, your back was against the wall.

“When I end with you, I’ll be back to her. I might fuck her just like i’m doing to you.” The pleasure in your face made him go harder.

You placed your hands in the table and stretched your back, giving him a better view of your breasts. You could feel him everywhere inside you. “Same position too, Mr. Donaldson?”

Art didn’t respond, just kept his rhythmic, feeling he could cum anytime soon. But he won’t do it before you, he wanted to see you underneath him looking well fucked and sweating. And he would.

Everything was becoming too much. His touch, his smell, the way he pounded on you, his moans. Art was a sign for the eyes, and him being so concentrated on not coming just did it all better. His frowned eyebrows gave him a tougher expression, ruined only by his blue shiny eyes. How good he looked that way.

Tashi was a lucky mother fucker.

Your teeth pulled his lips, chin and cheek. You were biting all the places you could reach, digging hard when you got into his neck. Art’s moans were full of pain, but they were also carried by lust. The sensations were getting stronger as the time goes, you could feel that you would come anytime, so you took your fingers to your clit. The moves were fast and tight, following his owns.

You were lost.

“Cum for me,” He said in your ear and you felt your body shiver. So you did it. You were higher than you expected, feeling the waves of your orgasm hit hard on you. The sensation got stronger when he came deeper inside you.

Art didn’t take long for get out of you, stepping back and watching you squirm with barely disguised satisfaction. Being mother fuckers was a couple thing, as you could see. “I was hoping to have an exclusive interview.”

Art smiled and helped you get down, “Wasn’t that better?”

You raised you eyebrows and shook your shoulders. Your clothes were everywhere on the floor, so you took them and started to get dressed again. “It might have been.”

And he was convinced that nothing would come out about his marriage again.

————————————-

After stealing his best friend’s girl and being cheated on, Art Donaldson wants to have the word time!

Not happy about Tashi sneaking in the middle of the night, he decided to give the pay back but in a different way: in the middle of the day! This time, who could possibly be this girl? Her best friend from Stanford time?

Hey!

This was a ride!! Hope it all went good! My english isn’t the best but I tried to do it without google translate every word since I really don’t trust it’s ways of doing it. Please I’m sorry if it all went a mess.

See u in the next one!

[spenceragnewfics]

Could you do a sick fic? Where either spencerbor yn gets sick and the other takes care of them?

Sorry this is so short but I hope you enjoy!

SICK DAY | Spencer Agnew X F!Reader

TW: None I can think of 

Word Count: 663 

Description: Spencer hates being sick, but thankfully, he has Y/N to help him get better

Spencer HATES being sick. There was nothing more inconvenient than being sick, especially when you have his job. He has no idea how he got sick, everyone he’s been around has been healthy as far as he knew. It doesn’t change the fact that he is laid in bed, tissues all around, different cold medicines on his nightstand, and very congested Spencer.

Luckily, he has Y/N. The woman has been taking care of him all day. Making sure he had plenty of tissues, medication, and was comfortable. Also, she’s made sure he’s had no Kickstart.

“Y/N! I’m sick! I should be able to,” He’s cut off mid sentence as he coughs, “be able to drink whatever I want.” He whines, looking at his girlfriend with sad eyes. She doesn’t budge, “You need electrolytes and plenty of water. Not caffeine and buckets of sugar.”

Spencer rolls his eyes before coughing more. Y/N kisses his forehead then looks at him, “You’re not too hot. Do you feel cold?” He shakes his head, pulling the covers off of him.

Crawling into the bed, she leans against the headboard as she pulls him against her chest. He wraps his arms around her as she starts to play with his hair. “Wanna watch Star Wars? It always helps to watch your favorite movie while sick.” She says, looking at him. “Yeah, start from the first one?” He asks as she laughs. “Anything you want, Spence.” She says as she pulls up the first Star Wars movie.

About half-way through the third movie, Spencer is cuddled against her side in a deep sleep. Moving slowly, she moves him to lay down on his side as she gets off the bed.

Kissing the top of his head, she starts to clean up around the area. Picking up empty water bottles, making sure all the tissues are in the trash can, and checking the medicine to make sure he’s taking it like he needs to.

Once the area is clean, she goes to the kitchen to grab some Gatorade then heats up some chicken noodle she made earlier in the day. Walking back to their bedroom, she sets the food down on a table before walking over to him.

“Baby, I need you to wake up. It’s time to eat and take your meds.” She says gently as she shakes him. Spencer groans, not wanting to wake up as he cuddles Y/N’s pillow. The action makes her smile as she plays with his hair, “Please, it’ll make you feel better.” Leaning down, she kisses his cheek then eyes which wakes him up a little.

“Hey, sunshine.” She teases as his blue eyes open. “Hey, sunshine.” He says, voice full of sleep. “You need to eat and take your meds.” He groans before sitting up. She brings over the food, setting it in front of him.

Spencer eats then takes his medicine. Y/N sits there with him, making sure he’s doing what he needs before taking the stuff and walking back to the kitchen. When she gets back, Spencer is laying back down continuing where he fell asleep with the movie.

When he sees her, he opens his arms, wanting her to cuddle and who is she to deny a sick man’s request. She climbs back into bed and pulls him to her chest, getting in the potion they were before.

“Thank you for being my nurse.” He says against her chest, slowly starting to fall asleep again.

“It’s not a problem, especially when I’ve been able to keep you away from your phone all day so you can’t see any chaos.” She teases as his eyes widen. “Oh shit, I need to-”

“Nope, you are going to sleep. You can deal with any hypothetical chaos later.” She says, securing her arms around him. He doesn’t protest as the room goes quiet except for the sound of the movie. The couple falling asleep in each other’s arms.