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#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.
donatellawritings · 2 days
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I jus wanna shut my baby brain off and let big bad daddy rafey take care of me :(
oh this is sooo muñeca & sugar daddy!rafe coded …
ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐
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you were entirely too emotional and high-strung — but who could blame you? with your skyrocketing hormones and mere hours that stood between your sweet papi rafe going back home to kildare, while you remained in culebra was becoming way too much for you to handle. and rafe couldn’t find it in himself to reprimand you, you’d been doing so well when it came to putting your big girl panties on and fighting back the impending waterworks that welled at your waterline, whenever it came time for rafe to go back home — you practiced!
but, unfortunately you’d lost every ounce of your resolve when your doe eyes fell on the two suitcases that sat at the edge of rafe’s bed.
sat in the middle of the plush firmness of the california king bed, your small body hiccuping with incessant cries, you curled your knees into your chest, “on-one — more — day,” you squeaked out, your jumbled words cut into choppy huffs of air as rafe pursed his lips into a tight line.
stood firmly beside the bed with his hands planted on his waist, rafe pinched the bridge of his nose with a knowing sigh, “c’mon, kid — y’been through this many times already, yeah?” met with a sharp cry from you, rafe is quick to switch into complete father-figure mode, letting out a piercing whistle, “hey! cut it out, y’gonna knock y’self out, cryin’ like that,” he scolds, his voice firm as you raise your puffy-tear stained face from your knees with a sniffle.
“quédate conmigo, please papi,” you squeak out, stretching both of your arms out in a reach towards rafe, your bottom lip all wobbly.
taking a seat at the edge of the bed, rafe opens an arm, beckoning you into his lap with a flick of his two signet-ringed fingers as you immediately and obediently crawl into his lap with a whimper, “a’ight, no more cryin’ — don’t need y’passin out on me before i go, hm?” rafe soothes, bringing his hand seamlessly clasp around the back of your neck.
nodding the side of your cherub cheek against rafe’s collarbone, you let out a breath of relief, “when d-do you come back,” you question softly, your doe eyes all sore and heavy from your earlier sobs as you quickly knuckle away the wetness at the tip of your nose.
“no … do not start that, you hear me?” rafe scolds, his free hand lightly tapping the side of your soft thigh, earning a frustrated mewl from you. squeezing your neck, rafe urges a verbal answer from you.
much to rafe’s very dismay, his corrective tone only set you off even further — you didn’t want your papi to be mad at you before he left. so, your bambi eyes were quick to well with warm tears, a warning sniffle itching at your nose as you shook your head, before heaving into rafe’s neck.
“fuck — okay, princess. hey, need y’to look at your papi now, yeah? can y’look at me — can’t look at me if y’cryin, pretty girl,” rafe coos, gently pulling your leg to straddle his hips as he pushes your face up to meet his, with a slight nudge of his shoulder. met with red and glassy eyes and flushed cheeks, rafe brings both of his hands to cradle each side of your face.
“a’ight, need y’to a good girl while m’gone, okay? y’gonna be a good girl for daddy?” rafe questions, slightly mushing your cheeks together as you huff out a wobbly breath, before licking over your swollen lips.
softly nodding in rafe’s grasp, you sniffle, “yes.”
allowing a satisfied smirk to play on his lips, rafe pulls your face down, leaning forehead against his, “good. now, i need y’to go to sleep, kid. i won’t be here when you wake up, but —”
fat tears are quick to brim your lower lash line as you whine in rafe’s grasp, “no—”
shushing you with a corrective tut, rafe pecks your lips in a silencing kiss, “shh … i always come back for you, don’t i? always call you, send you pretty presents — got you that laptop s’you can see me when y’get sad, yeah?”
with an appreciative nod, your lips brush against rafe — your papi always kept his promises, “g-going to mi-miss you,” you shudder, your voice all cracked and uneven as you stare directly into rafe’s bright baby blues, silently wishing you’d be able to make him stay just one more night.
“i know, kid,” rafe sighs, gently easing the both of you to fall back on the bed, one arm secured around your waist as he slides a free hand to the back of your head, lightly scratching at your scalp, “promise, m’gonna come back and take good care of you, yeah? s’my job to make sure m’little girl is happy,” he coos, leaving you to nod against his neck as you slowly, but surely begin to doze off.
whispering sweet nothing into your sleepy ear, rafe remains awake, until he’s one hundred percent sure that your asleep, your parted lips blowing warm air against his neck. once your breathing calmed into a steady rhythm, rafe was careful about maneuvering your drowsy body, carefully removing the small hand that rested on his face and placing it on his chest.
it was never easy for rafe to leave his girl in an island that was so far from him. he liked being in control and in the know of all moving parts in your day to day, so leaving you to fend for yourself — despite being waited in hand and foot by the hired help of the villa — rafe fought the urge to fly you to kildare altogether. you were still so wet behind the ears, so fragile and sentimental, such a transition would be way too much for your little heart to handle.
placing the pillow that sat under his head to rest in the tight hold of your arms, rafe reaches for the powder pink iphone that sits on the nightstand, placing it beside the pillow, ready for your use, the moment you woke up.
you just hoped that your papi rafe would be proud that you were awake the entire time and didn’t cry … because you practiced!
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cutielando · 22 hours
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mr. and mrs. ~ oscar piastri
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Summary: Wedding of the year is finally here between the two favorite youngsters on the grid. Everyone is invited!
Words: 1.3k+
Other works: my masterlist
♡♡♡♡♡
Oscar and Y/N.
Y/N and Oscar.
Everyone knew them, everyone loved them.
Ever since the young Australian lad had entered the Formula 1 world, Y/N had entered it with him. Always by his side, always attending his races while also attending university.
They had been together for many years, practically having invented the term “highschool sweethearts”. Despite Oscar’s busy schedule and Y/N being at university, they always made it work, never letting the distance affect their relationship.
Moving together to the UK had represented the first sign that they were both in it for the long ride. Packing up their entire lives and moving across the globe to follow their dreams proved that their relationship and the love they had was real.
Real and pure.
When Oscar got the opportunity to drive in Formula 1 and Y/N started her studies, the time they spent together shortened by a significant amount, but they managed to make it work.
They talked on the phone every day, texting when neither of them could speak on the phone, they took every opportunity to visit each other when they had free time, with Y/N visiting Oscar at his races or Oscar coming home when he would have 2 weeks off between races.
They made it work.
But Oscar wasn’t satisfied. He needed something more. He needed something that would put his mind at ease when he would be away.
He needed to officially make you his.
Towards the end of the season, you had a few weeks off uni and decided to join your boyfriend in Qatar for the Grand Prix.
You hadn’t really chosen the best race to attend, the heat and the humidity making it really strenuous on your already tired body. But seeing the smile that Oscar had while doing the grid walk with you by his side made it worth it.
Being there for Oscar’s sprint win had been the highlight of your entire year. Seeing him cross the checkered flag first, seeing his name on that first position on every monitor around the paddock, the feeling was unlike anything you had ever felt before.
Up until the moment Oscar got out of the car.
He made his way over to where you were waiting for him after he celebrated a little with the team, taking off his helmet and balaclava and giving them to one of his assistants.
“How about that?” he asked, chuckling as he pulled you into his arms, careful not to squeeze you too tightly because he was sweaty.
“I’m so fucking proud of you, Os. I can’t believe I was here for your first win” you said, your voice muffled because you had your face buried in the crook of his neck.
“It’s technically not considered a win bec-”
“Shut up and enjoy the moment” you interrupted, making him chuckle and continue hugging you.
As he let go of you, you didn’t notice him reaching for something behind his back, not even his assistant subtly handing him something as he appeared again from the garage. All you could focus on was him, and nothing else around you.
It only really hit you when Oscar lowered himself down on one knee in front of you, a red velvet box in his hand.
“Oh my God” you said, your eyes widening and your hands flying up to your mouth.
All around you, the McLaren team gathered in a circle, phones ready and cameras rolling to catch the sweet moment on camera.
“Y/N, I don’t even know whether words will suffice to say what I want to say right now. You’ve been by my side since we were kids, you moved to the UK with me and left your entire family in Australia just for me, and I can’t even begin to explain how much that meant to me. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, I frankly don’t think I could survive on my own if you weren’t here. I want to grow old with you, I want to have kids with you and build the life we’ve always talked about having. Y/N, will you marry me?” the words got stuck in your throat, so you settled for nodding feverishly.
The entire team around you cheered, but you could only see Oscar. As he got up and slid the ring on your left hand, you threw yourself into his arms and softly cried, the moment far too emotional to be able to hold back.
Your engagement had become national news in a matter of a couple of hours. Every media channel from the world had written about Oscar’s proposal in Qatar, speculating about when the wedding would be and whatnot.
It didn’t even feel like it had really happened when you stared at the ring on your finger, the feeling foreign but so welcome and like it was meant to be.
You and Oscar had multiple talks about when you would get married, where you would have the wedding and many other problems that came with being away from home and everyone’s families.
Which is why you decided to have the wedding back home in Australia.
After the season was finished and the winter break came, you and Oscar had started planning the wedding, which you settled to have after the last race before the summer break. He had already sent invitations out to the rest of the drivers, all of them very eager to attend the young lad’s wedding.
Lando was especially thrilled, but couldn’t help making jokes about how he had never thought Oscar would be the one getting married so young.
“What did you do to him, Y/N? You charmed him pretty damn well” he’d always joke whenever you guys would hang out in the garage before a race.
Yours and Oscar’s mothers took care of most of the things regarding the venue, the flower arrangements and catering, wanting to take the load off of you while you were halfway across the world.
The only thing that you had to worry about was picking your wedding dress and flying over to Australia to get married.
And when the day had finally come, excitement flowed through your veins.
Nicole and Oscar’s sisters had helped do your hair and make-up, your mother only watching as she sobbed quietly in the background.
“Mom, you’re gonna make me cry too if you don’t stop” you told her as you watched her through your mirror, making the other girls laugh.
“I just can’t believe my baby is getting married” she laughed, wiping her tears and walking up to stand behind you.
You smiled and took her hand, mostly to calm your nerves as well.
You were really getting married. And to the love of your life, which was a plus.
After you were prepped and ready to go, your father came to fetch you to walk you down the aisle. Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest as you held his arm tightly and clutched the flower bouquet tightly in your other hand.
But your nerves disappeared like they had never even been there when the doors opened and you locked eyes with Oscar waiting for you at the end of the aisle, Logan beaming behind him as his best man.
The ceremony went by in a blur, the only focus on your part being on Oscar. You only vaguely remembered saying your vows and saying “I do”, your memory only having imprinted the first kiss you two shared as husband and wife.
You were positive that nothing could ever top this moment, getting married with all of your friends and families present, stepping into your new life with Oscar by your side.
Nothing could ever be better.
Nothing could top you becoming Mrs. Piastri.
Being Mr. and Mrs. Piastri.
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kingkaizen · 21 hours
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𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓮𝓻
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∘ desc: although things are going great with your boyfriend nanami, sometimes you think he's too nice in bed. who better to ask for some pointers than from nanami's opposite, gojo satoru <3
∘ ft: nanami & gojo
∘ word count: 2.7k
∘ includes: voyeurism, threesome, pussy slaps, spanking, face fucking, edging, dacryphilia, dirty talk
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Nanami is the best boyfriend that you’ve ever had.
No matter everything that you’ve been through together in the last three years, nothing has ever made you doubt the amount of love you had for each other. You absolutely adored everything about him. After being friends for years before getting together, it wasn’t hard to fall so deeply in love with the man that he’s become. Being able to come home to him is everything that you’ve ever wanted and more.
But, of course, all relationships come with their issues.
When Nanami received a message from you saying that you had to talk, his heart immediately dropped. What could he have done wrong? Was today a special day that he forgot about? Did he accidentally leave the toilet seat up? What could possibly be it? He rushed home from work, unlocking the front door to see you sitting on the couch.
“Is everything okay?” Nanami questioned, slipping his shoes off and placing them neatly on the floor along with pinning his coat on the rack. “Your text worried me.”
“No, Kento. Everything is fine, I promise, come sit with me.” You gestured to the cushion next to yours, trying to keep him calm. You knew that texting him like that would elicit this concerned reaction, but what you’re about to say could not be said through a simple text message.
“Kento, when I say this to you, I need you to know that I love you so much and you are an amazing boyfriend okay?” Nanami nods his head slightly, eyebrows slowly coming together in complete anticipation of what’s about to come out of your mouth.
“I want you to start being rougher with me in bed.”
Finally coming out and saying it, you felt like a weight being lifted off of your chest. Nanami always treats you like glass, in and out of the bedroom. Although you love how gentle and loving he is with you, you need something more. You can’t help but think back to all of the times that he would come back home from work, irritated about something that happened. How good it would feel for him to take out those emotions on you. But, knowing your sweet boyfriend, that thought would never cross his mind. 
“Am I not satisfying you enough? I thought you enjoyed our intimate moments together…” Nanami responds, his brain thinking back to every single night you’ve spent together in the past. Why hasn’t he seen this before? Knowing that he hasn’t been satisfying you in the way that he thought hurt him much more than he was willing to admit right away.
“No, that’s not it at all. You know that you always make me feel good. I just want to change things up a bit, that’s all.” You placed an encouraging hand on his thigh, prompting him to look up at you. “I know you, Kento, don’t think too much into it. I love every moment that we have together, I just want us to try something different, that’s all.”
Nanami took in all of your words, making a pact to himself that he will change things for the better. He understands what you want, he’s just not sure how to fully give that to you. How he is in bed is exactly the way he is outside of that: sweet, loving, and overall just concerned. He would never forgive himself for hurting you in any capacity, so living up to your request will be a challenge for him. Who better to ask than his complete opposite in every single way?
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“She wants you, Nanami Kento, to be rough?” Gojo almost can’t help but laugh at the thought. It’s not laughable because Nanami doesn’t have a rough side to him, Gojo of all people would know how it feels to be on the opposite end of that. The funny part is that he can’t imagine him being rough towards you. Even from an outsider looking into your relationship, anyone could see how he treats you.
“I didn’t tell you this so that you could laugh at me, Satoru, I’m asking for your help.” This request from Nanami also humored Gojo. Finally, after all of these years, Nanami is actually voluntarily asking for his help.
“How exactly do you expect me to help you? Do you need me to demonstrate?” Gojo laughed as he said this, waiting for Nanami to show some sort of disagreement in his face.
That look never came.
“That is actually exactly what I want you to do. I know the type of history that you two have, I’m not an idiot. All of these years since we’ve all been friends before we started dating, I would see the way you would look at each other. I know that there is chemistry there and I wouldn’t be surprised if you have been intimate before.” Nanami looked at Gojo, seriousness etched across his face. “I want you to show me how to treat her the way that she wants to be, I only want her to be happy.” As much as Nanami hates to admit when Gojo is better than him in any sort of way, he knows the truth when it comes to this. He sees how other women have fawned over him, and it must be for good reason.
“I’ll teach you how to fuck her like a slut.”
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The sight of two shirtless men is enough to excite anyone. After telling Nanami what was on your mind, this is the last thing that you expected him to do. Of course he brought this up to you before this moment, always wanting to ensure your comfort. It was hard to disagree, you’ve been with Gojo years prior but it was never anything serious. Always flings, Gojo was never the “relationship type”. 
“So gorgeous, my love.” Nanami always admired how ethereal you looked, both in and out the bedroom. He caressed your face, planting soft yet firm kisses on your lips, growing more and more passionate by the second. Gojo was sitting on the chair in the corner of the room, watching with an intense gaze. You would think that having another man watching the two of you would freak you out, but it weirdly turned you on. Gently, as always, Nanami laid you down on the mattress, fingers finding their way to your covered breasts, exposing them to his hungry mouth. After moving the fabric, his lips puckered around your nipple, tongue pushing on the hardened nub as you ran your fingers through his hair.
“Kento, I need you so bad.” You whimpered, the impatient side of you coming out already. You know Nanami, you know that it doesn’t take much begging to get what you want. You know how bad he wants you too, he can’t help but fully oblige to every word you say.
“I know honey, I’m going to give it to you.” Nanami had no self control when it came to you. Gojo rolls his eyes in the corner, finally making his presence known.
“Nanami, you can’t let her talk to you like that.” Gojo slowly began to touch his growing bulge through his pants. “It’s like you already forgot everything I told you.” He stood up and walked towards the two of you, Nanami moving to the side. Gojo gently gripped your chin, turning your head to look him dead in his eyes.
“If you want something from him, you’re going to have to earn it.”
You nodded your head, his authoritative tone sending a wave of pleasure throughout your body. Following his discrete directions, you kneeled in front of your boyfriend, fingers playfully toying with the zipper in his pants as you pulled it down along with the rest of it. You kissed his hard length through the last piece of fabric still left on his body, looking up at him through your lashes.
“D-Don’t tease me like that, (y/n)”. Nanami loved this obedient side of you, even if he wasn’t the reason you were acting this way. Before he could even process, Gojo lightly tapped the side of your ass, sending a slight sting throughout your body.
“Tease him like that again and you’re gonna have to make yourself cum. Now say sorry.” Gojo threatened, backing away once again to see how this unfolds. By now, he has fully released himself from the confines of his pants, fingers wrapping around his girth as he slowly began to pleasure himself at the sight.
“I’m sorry.” You looked up at Nanami once more, pulling away the last piece of clothing separating your awaiting mouth from his leaking tip. 
“I’m sorry what?” Gojo sneered.
“I’m sorry sir.” Your pleading voice made Nanami groan, watching as you finally began to wrap your lips around the tip of his cock. You began to put your tongue to work, swirling it around his head while keeping your lips firmly around the top, sucking in. Nanami could tell that you were still in a teasing mood, refusing to go any lower than that. Suddenly, you could feel his hand find its way to the back of your head, forcing you to let more of him in. Nanami would never do something like this normally, his forcefulness with you turning you on tremendously. Gojo laughed, approving of Nanami’s sudden confidence boost. It’s arousing to him too, watching you take all of him so deep in your mouth, gagging on his length as he throws his head back.
“That’s it, take it all.” Nanami grunts, “I love how messy you look, choking on me like that.” He could feel you moan around his length at his words, thighs rubbing together in anticipation of what’s to come. “I know how wet you are already, if you want some help you have to ask for it okay?” 
No matter what, Nanami is still always keeping your needs in mind, noticing how soaked you're starting to become. He removes himself from inside your mouth, allowing you to fully breathe. You look so beautiful, tears threatening to spill from your lash line and saliva coating around your mouth. He helps you back up to your feet, leading your body to lay backwards onto the bed, callused fingers catching any tears that manage to slip. “Tell me what you want.”
Your gaze moved from his eyes over to Gojo. “I want you both. Please sir, just touch me.” You felt pathetic as you begged, your core pulsing with need. You’ve never felt this sensitive before, everything feeling that much more intense given how hungry the two men in your presence are. 
“Aww, what a little slut you are.” Gojo grinned, making his way closer to you. “What do you think Nanami, has she been a good girl for us? Should we give her what she wants?” Gojo’s fingers began to rub on the outside of your panties. “Look at how wet she is for us.” Gojo showed Nanami your slick on his fingers, watching it glisten underneath the lowlight. 
“I think she has been a good girl.” Nanami smiles at you, so proud of how well you’ve been doing for them. “Go ahead, Gojo, you can touch her.”
“Finally.” Gojo quickly moved your panties to the side, the coolness of his touch catching you off guard as he teased the inside of your folds. “You don’t understand how torturous it was watching you without being able to touch you yet.” He makes quick work of finding your clit, slowly rubbing his thumb on your pearl as he watches you begin to writhe underneath. “Don’t forget why you’re here slut. You wanted to be treated like this so bad and now you got it. Beg for it.”
“P-Please Satoru, please touch me. I can’t take it anymore, I need it so bad.” You pleaded, beginning to feel helpless underneath him. Gojo smirked, plunging his slender fingers inside of you unexpectedly. You felt your body arch up in surprise, a gasp leaving your mouth as pleasure began to consume your body.
“So fucking greedy.” Gojo began slowly at first, catching a rhythm. “Look at how she’s drenching my fingers.” Nanami rubs himself at the sight, growing impatient. You’re too far gone to notice, feeling your own orgasm already beginning to slowly creep up in intensity. Before you know it, you're cumming all around his fingers, eyes rolling to the back of your head. Gojo quickly pulls his fingers out, not doing anything to help you ride it out. “Who told you that you could cum?” He taps his hand against your pussy repeatedly, watching you moan in a mix of pleasure and pain and you slowly come down from your high. “What a fucking whore.”
“I’m sorry sir, I couldn’t -fuck- I couldn’t help it.” You sob, looking at Nanami. You’ve never seen him look so angry. He didn’t say anything to you, only twirling his finger around, motioning for you to flip over. You quickly follow his que, not wanting to do anything to tick him off further. You can’t fully process that this is happening, your Nanami actually treating you this way.
You fucking loved it.
You felt his familiar touch rub over your ass as you got on all fours, arching your back slightly. He groaned at the sight of your wetness, glistening core almost calling out to him. He rubbed his tip against your folds, feeling your hole try to suck him in. Meanwhile, Gojo is sucking your juice off of his fingers, loving the taste of you.
“Get on with it Nanami, if she wants to be punished so badly then so be it.” Gojo made his way in front of you, rubbing the tip of his cock against your plush lips. “We told you what would happen if you didn’t listen, right? You have to be a bit smarter than that sweetheart.” The syrupy tone of his voice didn’t match his actions as he parted your lips with his head, feeling you wrap your lips against his girth. With that, Nanami finally pushed himself all the way in, moaning in unison along with you. Gojo could feel the vibrations of your moans against him.
Nanami gave you no time to adjust, pounding his entire length into you with such force that caused your mouth to hang open in shock. You felt so good, brain completely fogged over with no thoughts other than the complete monster that Nanami has become. He’s never fucked you like this, usually preferring soft thrusts over the hard pounding that he’s subjecting yourself to now. You suddenly felt a sharp slap on your ass, his large hand rubbing the sting away almost just as quickly as he placed it.
“Don’t ignore Gojo now, honey. I thought a slut like you would love to have two thick cocks filling you up this way?” Nanami questioned, picking up the pace which made it so much harder for you to focus. Gojo wasn’t having that. He placed one hand on each side of your face, holding it in place for him to thrust his hips against you. His cock filled your mouth, spit sloshing everywhere as your face got messier and messier.
“Fuck (y/n), you’re doing so fucking good for us princess.” Gojo moaned, the sounds coming from the room overwhelmed his senses. The bed creaking, you struggling to take Nanami while also pleasuring Gojo, and the sound of Nanami’s balls slapping against your ass sounded like music to his ears. Nanami couldn’t believe how hot this all was, feeling as your walls began to quiver around him.
“You’re gonna cum again baby?” Nanami asked, gripping your hips tighter as he felt himself get even closer. Gojo was already almost there, hips beginning to stutter as he watched you cry out. All you could do is whimper in response, the knot in your stomach growing tighter and tighter. Nanami made it there first, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he spilled himself inside of you. Ropes of cum flooded in as he fully pressed himself against you, beads of sweat threatening to drip off his nose. Gojo soon followed, shooting his load into your mouth as you took it all.
“Such a good girl.” Gojo mused, wiping the side of your mouth when he finished. He proceeded to kiss you, tasting himself on your tongue. Nanami pulled himself out slowly, watching in delight as his seed slowly dripped out of you. You whimpered at the now empty feeling, your orgasm slowly starting to retreat.
“You’re not going to finish me off?” You angrily turned to Nanami, watching the smirk begin to creep up his face.
“Not unless you beg for it.”
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newluvrs · 1 day
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Sungchan ₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎  mdni!! 18+ currently listening to: VENUS AS A BOY - BJORK word count: 3k a/n: sungchan is so Venus as a boy coded
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Its 4:37 a.m. when you finally close your laptop for the evening.  Your skin feels like shit and you’re practically vibrating from the amount of espresso shots that were in your iced latte.  You haven’t moved from your desk since noon, only taking miniature breaks to go take a piss and grab a quick snack.  Finals week always makes you feel barely human.  When you finally turn off dnd on your phone, your met with a trillion notifications, but only a specific person holds all your attention.  Your heart lurches when you see Sungchan’s name under missed calls, you almost feel guilty recalling your demand you made earlier this week, almost. 
-
“Are you serious?”
“Sungchan, please I am quite literally begging.” 
“Baby, I just don’t understand why you don’t want to study with me...” 
You know damn well he knows why and just wants to make you say it.  You look at him with a bored expression on your face.
“You’re distracting.”
When he feigns confusion at your simple response, you roll your eyes before continuing.  
“Fine.  If you want me to be vulgar I’ll be vulgar.  We both know that I want to fuck you all the time.  You know that it only gets worse when I’m stressed.  I can’t sit there with you and just study when 90% of the time all I can think about is jumping your bones.”
“90% of the time, huh?” 
You want to kiss the stupid smug grin off of his face, but you settle instead for turning your back to him, trying to steel your resolve.  
“It’ll only be a week… it can’t be that hard, right?”
-
Except that’s absolutely not true because why would he ever make things easy for you?  It’s only been a few days since, and you can no longer count on both hands the amount of times you have had to stop yourself from driving to his place. It’s not even his fault, for the most part.  Your boyfriend is just so hot.  You swear BeReal is plotting against you when the timer has just so happened to go off every day this week when he’s in the gym.  How are you supposed to contain yourself when he walks around looking like that, and always so willing to give you what you want.  You’ve had to pause in the middle of studying a couple of times this week just to get yourself off.  Truly you are no better than a man.  
Sungchan himself has pleaded with you a couple of times to just let him come see you.  Trying to explain to you that you’re being ridiculous.  In his head he can’t understand why you won’t just let him be there to help relieve your stress.  He knows that you’re the insatiable one in this relationship.  You having explained to him after you first slept together that your sex drive tended to be high.  And he’s always been more than willing to help you out, whether it be fucking you exactly the way you need after a long day or bringing you to a tender release with his mouth first thing in the morning before you go to work.  He knows exactly what you need when you need it, so he can’t understand why you’re torturing yourself (and him) now. 
chan <3: plz let me come over 
Needless to say you absolutely weren’t expecting to receive a message from him this late at night.  
You: Why r u up??? 
chan <3: ochem :/
chan <3: I need to see u :(
You want to ignore the message, but you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t subconsciously press your thighs together.  All you’ve been able to think about since you last saw him is how bad you need him.  You can only do so much with your own fingers, and each time you get off has just been less and less satisfying.  Before you even get a chance to respond another message comes through. 
chan <3: im coming over
Immediately you rush to jump in the shower, not exactly feeling the most desirable in the ratty t-shirt you’ve been wearing for the last 2 days and your unwashed hair.  You tell yourself you’re not gonna let him stay over.  That all you’re gonna do is give him a quick kiss and a hug, just so that both of you can see that the other is doing fine.  And then you’re gonna tell him that you’ll see him in a few more days, after your last exam.  You say this to yourself even as you forego throwing on a bra.  You say this to yourself again as you pull up your sleeping shorts without putting on any underwear.  You tell yourself this one last time as you climb under your sheets, making yourself comfortable against your pillows.  When the familiar sound of your apartment door unlocking finally comes, you feel yourself become nervous suddenly, voice shaking as you holler that you’re in your bedroom.  
You try your best to act like you weren’t waiting for him, but you fail when as soon as you see him standing in your doorway you immediately open your arms wide for him to join you.  He lays himself next to you in your bed, wrapping his arms around your middle resting his head on your chest as you leave kisses on his forehead.  Immediately you feel comforted by his presence, your mood doing a 180. The both of you stay like this for a moment, just holding each other, feeling the exhaustion in your bones.  It’s him who breaks the silence. 
“Missed you.”  
He looks up at you when he says it, his tired eyes making your heart turn.  You can tell that he also just showered, his hair slightly damp and face covered in a light sheen from his skincare products, pimple patches and all.  You love being with him like this, tired and both of your faces bare, it feels like the both of you truly see each other.  
“”m so tired.” 
You sigh as you rub your eyes, truly you’re so exhausted.  Stress has been wrecking your body and making you feel wound too tight.  Not seeing Sungchan has only made it worse, making you feel touch starved and lonely on top of everything else.  He can already tell without you having to say it that it’s been a long couple of days for you.  He knows how hard you can push yourself to succeed.  Being told your whole life that you’re a hard worker only fueled your anxieties of being the best you could be, afraid to let everyone down.
“Let me take care of you.”  
You look down at him still resting his chin on your chest as he says so, his pretty lips pulled into a pout.  
“Just want to help you relieve your stress, will you let me do that for you baby?”  
You feel your pussy throb at this.  It makes you feel good to know that just as much as you always want Sungchan, he always wants you too.  When you don’t say anything he moves to slot himself between your legs, planting soft kisses against your jaw.
“I need to make my pretty girl feel good.  All I’ve been able to think about these last few days is fucking you.”
You can feel that he’s already half-hard as he rocks his hips against yours, a gentle sigh falling from your mouth at the smallest bit of pleasure.  
“..please.”  
That’s all he needs to hear before he’s pushing your shirt up to your hips, his hands moving to your waist as he pulls you fully against him.  He moves his lips gently against yours as you softly moan into his mouth.  You feel so sleepy even right now, everything feeling like a dream as he grinds against you, panting into your mouth.  
“Felt like I was going crazy without you.  I was waiting for a call from you, telling me that you needed me and I was ready to drop everything.  You’re all I could think about.”  
You might be the insatiable one in this relationship but Sungchan is a close second.  For every time that you needed him to make you feel good, there was a time where he needed to make you feel good.  There’s nothing in this world hotter to him than the effect he has on you.  
“Your stupid fucking BeReals made me have to take several… study breaks.”  
Your ears burn hot as you admit this, casting your eyes to between your bodies watching as Sungchan rolls his hips into yours.  Heat blooming in your chest seeing the way the two of you fit perfectly together.
“I wanted to cave so many times… I’m happy you came over.” 
His heart swells in his chest hearing you say this. Placing a tender kiss against your cheek before he pulls away to pull your shorts off.  When he comes face to face with your bare cunt when he was expecting panties, he feels like he’s gonna combust.  
“Jesus y/n, you drive me fucking crazy.”  
He wants to be cocky about it, tease you for having such shit resolve when it comes to him, but he’s so hard it hurts.  You look so soft and tender, hair still damp from the shower, your old t-shirt still on along with your glasses.  He leans on an elbow as he reaches a hand down to play with you, when his fingers brush against your core you’re already soaked. When he looks up at you in silent awe your hands are covering your face, trying to shy away from his gaze.  
“I can’t help it..” You mumble out from behind your hands.  
He doesn’t want to make you wait any longer, slipping two fingers up and down your slit, coating them in your wetness.  He rubs them along your clit briefly just to hear your gasps, rutting his cock against your thigh as he does so.  He moves to pull your hands away from your face as he lines his fingers up with your hole.  Pressing them in he revels in the way you shut your eyes in bliss, mouth falling open.  He feels cocky now, smirking to himself at the way you moan when he crooks them up once they’re fully inside, rubbing up against your top wall.  
“Sungchan fuck..” 
You reach out for him, pulling him down to kiss you while his fingers play with you.  You stay like this for awhile, just making out as his fingers play with you.  He slides in a third to feel the way you gasp into his mouth.  When you arch your chest into his he almost dies at the way he can feel your nipples through your t-shirt.  
“You’re so needy, baby.”  
He presses kisses all over your face as he says this, sliding his fingers out of you to give your clit some more attention.  
“Why are your clothes still on.. this is so unfair.” 
He laughs to himself when you say this, finding it cute the way you try to make demands even as your body is twitching, caving in on itself from the pleasure.  
“Sorry baby, ‘m just gonna make you cum like this real quick, and then I’ll take them off, deal?” 
You can’t even process what he’s saying anymore, just nodding your head as you rock your hips up into his hand.  He slips his fingers back into your cunt, palm grinding into your clit as he finger fucks you.  You’re so distracted by his fingers you don’t even notice that he’s pushed your shirt up to your tits until you feel his mouth wrap around one of your nipples.  Unsure what to do with your hands, all you can do is claw at the sheets, body so overwhelmed from the pleasure.
You cum just like this, the only warning Sungchan gets is the way your body seizes up, your moans reaching a whinier pitch.  He groans at the feeling of you sporadically clenching around his fingers as he fucks you through your orgasm.  Only coming to a halt when you try and push his hand away.  You shudder as he pulls his fingers out, your throat feeling dry as you lay there, boneless.  He’s tender with the way he treats you after, leaving kisses all over your face.  
“So good to me baby, you feel better?”
You nod your head, slowly blinking, still trying to come down from your first high.  When you finally find the words to speak there’s only one thing you can say.
“Goddamn.”
You don’t even care that he smirks to himself at your comment, he deserves to be cocky right now.  When he moves back between your legs, you can already feel heat blooming again, setting your nerves alight.  You can see how hard he is through his sweats, dick straining against the fabric.  Sungchan already knows that cumming once is never enough for you, which is why you want to slap the smug grin off of his face when you hear him ask,
“You want to go again?” 
When you glare at him trying to seem threatening, he can only laugh at how cute you are.  Bringing his lips to yours to kiss the pout off your face.  He leans back on his heels to pull his long sleeve over his head.  You feel yourself throb when you see his body.  You were never one to care about muscles or whether or not someone goes to the gym, but you can’t help but admire all of Sungchan’s hard work.  
“Chan, you’re so handsome.” 
Sungchan feels himself blush at the compliment, filling with pride when you admire him so openly.  He goes to pull down his sweats, freeing his dick from the restrictive fabric.  
“You’re gonna sit there and tease me for not wearing panties, when you show up at my door without boxers on under your sweats?”  
You can’t even sound mean right now because you just feel desperate.  Trying to sound authoritative while simultaneously spreading your legs a little wider to make room for him.  
“Can’t help it I needed to make myself easily accessible to my baby.”  
Now it’s your turn to blush, rolling your eyes like you’re not affected.  He digs a condom from his pocket before sliding it on, you want to make a joke about why it was there in the first place, but the joke dies in your throat when he’s finally lining himself up between your legs.  He runs the head of his cock up and down your slit a few times before finally, finally, pushing in to your wet heat.  The stretch is so good, as he gentle eases himself into you, bringing a hand to thumb at your clit.  The slide easy with how wet you already were from your previous orgasm.  Sungchan loves the way your body opens up for him so easily.  
When he finally bottoms out, both of you just sit there panting.  You take in the sleepy look on Sungchan’s face and think about how yours must mirror his, recalling how it’s close to 6 a.m. now.  You bring a hand up to his cheek, just looking at him as you whine from how deep he feels in you, making you feel so full.  When you finally nod for him to start moving, he pulls out slowly before pushing back in just as slowly, hips reaching deep within you.  Sungchan knows that now is one of those times where you just needed to feel him close.  He fucks you just like this, slow but making sure to sink all the way in each time so you feel full.  
You’re so tired your eyes are starting to slip closed at the pleasure, just feeling so good and so sleepy.  Sungchan sees this and brings himself up to murmur against your ear.
“‘m I fucking you good?”  
All you can do is nod your head, gasping out each time he reaches deep within you.  
“’m I fucking you like you deserve?”  
When he feels you clench around him he keeps talking.
“My needy girl deserves to be fucked exactly how she likes.  You’ve been working so hard baby, just let me take care of you.  Let your pretty boy fuck you good.”  
Sungchan pulls away to rest his head in the crook of your neck, hips picking up the pace.  You bring a shaky hand to the one he has stationed by your head, urging him to lace his fingers with yours.  His heart feeling tender at the action, the gentle affection a heavy contrast to the way his hips are repeatedly rutting into yours.  The both of you are fighting to stay awake, fueled by the need to get each other off.  Sungchan knows you’re close when your moans start to change in pitch.
“You gonna cum?” 
Your eyes are squeezed shut as you hum a simple “mhm” back to him.  Sungchan uses all the energy he has left to fuck into that tender spot within you, hips refusing to let up.  
“Cum pretty girl, then we can go to sleep.” 
You just nod your head, wrapping your arms around him, trying to bring your face to his.  Sungchan takes the hint, softly pressing his lips to yours as he fucks into you one, two, three more times before you’re whimpering against him, body twitching as he feels you seize up around him.  He follows close behind, spilling into the condom as you twitch around him, fighting to keep your eyes open so you can see the way his face contorts from the bliss.  When he’s done going through the motions, he pulls out of you, hissing from the sensitivity.  He disposes of the condom before pulling his sweats back up, cleaning you up quickly with a damp towel trying his best to be gentle, putting a clean pair of underwear on you before finally sliding next to you in your bed.  
When he cuts the lights off you can see that the sun is starting to shine, both of your eyes feeling heavy as he wraps himself around you.  Before you both doze off you hear him mumble one last thing.
“I really did miss you.” 
You smile to yourself, placing a kiss on his pouty lips. 
“I missed you more Chan.”  
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i-am-hungry-24-7 · 3 days
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[The Last Dance] Simon “Ghost” Riley*Reader
Hurt and a bit of comfort? maybe?
poor Simon, someone please send me some fluff ideas for him or I’m unable to stop writing angst about him. (cuz that’s the only thing in my note for him)
word count: 744
You never visit his dreams.
Every day he’s a walking corpse, mindlessly doing what he should done, saying goodnight to his teammates, and coming back to his quarter, hoping he can see you one more time.
but he never dreams of you these days, despite how desperate he is.
“You need some rest, I can give you a few weeks of leave, Simon.” He simply shakes his head at Price’s suggestion.
There’s no home waiting for him anymore, a haven for him to sleep soundly.
Until the night Simon deems he hit his limits, you finally appear in his dream.
There stood you, at the quiet bay you two always date, your usual smile lingering on the face imprinted in his heart.
He runs, stumbles a few times maybe, but he never stops his feet until he’s in front of you.
“Simon.”
“I fucking miss you... god...” He pulls you into his arms immediately, squeezing hard so you won’t flee from him by any chance.
He just buries his face to hide his sobs as you rub his back comfortingly.
“You should move on, honey.” You break the silence first.
“How am I supposed to?” He can feel his face stained with tears, but he pays no mind to it, eyes never leave yours, letting them stream his sorrow down.
“Remember the dance we always do?” As he leans into your fingers that are wiping his tears, he hears you ask softly.
“I never forget.”
“Hey, let’s do it again, yeah?”
Your soft hands — cold, he notices — guide him to the proper posture, and leads the dance start.
He remembers the first day you tried to teach him the dance, and he reluctantly agreed.
He remembers the first time he didn’t step on your toes, and you praised him cheerfully.
He remembers those days he held you close and giggled with you during the dance, at here.
Swaying slowly along you, waltzing in a graceful circle, you sing the music just like you always did when dancing with him.
As you breeze to the last tone, both of you stop at the same place, nothing moves except the waves hitting the cliff beneath.
“Better now?”
“No.” He admits through a hiccup.
“Still so honest huh” you laugh “but listen to me, Simon.”
He lets you cradle his face in your palms, he hates that your hands are so cold, unlike the warmth he stole from you in winter.
“You can find a way to remember me, but don’t let me leash you in the past.”
“Keep going, my love, protect those people that you love when they’re still aside.”
The seriousness on your face is what he never gets from you before, he just stares at you, and eventually, nods his head.
“That’s my man.”
You let go of him, satisfied.
“Time to go now” you take a look at the sky and face him again. “before that, can you smile for me one last time? You know I love it.”
“I’m bloody ugly right now.” He sighs, but he still manages to pull his lips into a contorted grin.
“Well, true”
“but still the most handsome man for me.”
- - - - - -
Simon opens his eyes.
4 am, the clock indicates, earlier than the alarm he set, but he has a plan today.
“Only one day off?” Price crooks his eyebrows when he signs the paper for Simon to have permission to leave.
“Yeah, one day’s enough.”
Walking to the parking lot, he jumps into his car and starts driving to his destination.
The tranquil feelings he hasn’t experienced for months accompany him on his journey to the bay.
Everything’s the same as he visited here last time. Still a silent bay without people, the sea spuming over the cliff, filling the air with soothing crashes of the surf.
He’s afraid of visiting here after you leave, the emptiness is deafening without your singing.
Unsurprisingly, the hollow in his heart becomes more painful as he steps to the same spot in his dream last night.
Yet still, he gazes at the ocean for a good while, and chants out the song lowly.
The cavity in his bleeding heart starts healing.
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zaldritzosrose · 18 hours
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Lessons In Pleasure (Aegon x Reader x Harwin)
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Summary: Your marriage to Aegon was as good as expected, but you wanted a little more...passion. Rhaenyra, ever the dutiful sister knew just who to send to give your husband a few lessons in pleasing a woman.
TW: Minors DNI, She/Her pronouns, afab reader, Harwin Strong and his horse cock, Rhaenyra being the best sister, Aegon (kinda) getting cucked and liking it, fingering, oral (fem receiving), multiple orgasms, praise kink, p in v sex, Harwin showing Aegon how to fuck, canon-typical incest, twin/targcest, they are happy families in this, use of High Valyrian.
Reader has more Hightower coded features but isn't explicitly described.
Words: 5088 (yes...I know)
THANK YOU to @legitalicat for not only trusting me with this idea but betaing for me too! You're an angel!
Hāedar = little sister
Valonquar = little brother
Ābrazȳrys = wife
Valzȳrys = husband
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Rhaenyra was grateful to have been given the chance to decide on her own husband. When originally presented to her, she was disgusted by the idea of marriage all together. But when Harwin Strong made his affections for her clear, she knew that was the man she would marry.  
After almost two decades of marriage and having three boys together, Rhaenyra could safely say she had chosen well. Not only was Harwin an amazing man and wonderful father to their boys, but he kept her well satisfied. The man was nearly solid muscle and hung like a horse. In their times alone, it wasn’t unusual for his head to be placed between her thighs or for him to him to rut into her like she was a bitch in heat.  
Harwin was nothing if not devoted to his wife. He would give her the world if she asked. He stood at her side, the ever-looming presence that reminded those around them Rhaenyra was not to be toyed with. He knew she was capable of protecting herself, of course, but he couldn’t allow himself to leave his wife to her own protection.  
Their devotion and love to each other, however, was in complete contrast to the marriages between Rhaenyra’s siblings. Well, one of them. The marriage of Helaena to Cregan Stark had been unexpected, yes, but having met the man at a tourney, he was all her sweet sister desired. Nobody would deny Helaena. Aemond and Daeron were too involved in their studies to give much mind to marriage. Their time would come, of course, but for now they could do as they pleased. The problem marriage was yours. 
When Alicent had given birth to you first, Viserys was disappointed once more. What is a king without a son? But within the hour, your twin finally made his presence known. The King finally had a son. Aegon Targaryen, second of his name, had accomplished more just with his birth than anyone would hope from you.  
As you grew into people, you and your twin were far different. You were far different from any of your siblings. You had fewer Valyrian features if any at all. But there was a fire inside you that left little room for doubt of your heritage, complete with a dragon you claimed not long after the time Aegon claimed Sunfyre.  
The fire in you was different too. Most of your family were hot headed, quick to anger and rash in action. You wouldn’t say you were smarter, but it was like you controlled your fire instead of the other way around. You could remain calm. Your logic could outweigh your desires time and time again.  
Until it came to your twin. For better or worse, he was half of you. You were devoted to him as much as Rhaenyra was devoted to Harwin, or your Uncle Daemon to his wife Laena. Every moment he needed defending, it was you who did so. If he needed soothing, he would find you. As you grew and matured, he loved you as you loved him.  
The problem came with his drinking. He was nearly always drunk by the time you both were fourteen. He functioned well throughout the day even if he was drunk. But once the sun gave way to the stars, he got sloppy. Drinking so much he made a mess of himself was how he chose to spend every evening. He would stumble to his bed, stinking of wine. 
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Luckily, Rhaenyra was a good and comforting presence in your life. Listening to any and all issues you wished to unload on her.
As a child, it would range from not yet having a dragon, which was rectified by the tender age of twelve when you claimed your precious Starfyre. That pale purple dragon, almost iridescent, a contrast to the golden scales of Aegon’s Sunfyre, but somehow complimenting him perfectly. Just as you did with Aegon.
Then as you had aged and began to notice boys, Rhaenyra was the one to talk about romance, courting and all it entailed. Explaining the more, as you would bemoan, embarrassing parts of a relationship but you knew Rhaenyra wanted to look after you. But she did also tell you, that the King would likely choose your husband for you.
And you knew what that meant. You would be given to someone. Someone that, if you were unlucky, you did not know.
But the gods were on your side when your betrothal to Aegon was announced it seemed. Marrying your twin would surely be better than a stranger, you hoped. But Aegon was still a drunk. Unable to refrain from wine no matter the time of day. Not exactly the husband you craved and wished for.
As always, Rhaenyra was there. Comforting you where Aegon could not. It was not that he did not love you. He adored the very bones of you, and he would tell you time and time again.
But he was a mess of a man, by his own admission. Struggling with the weight of being the King’s eldest son and now, your husband. He had never meant to make you feel the way you did, you knew that. Because how could he, if you had never told him what you were feeling.
You had always known Aegon had a voracious appetite, for wine, for pleasure, anything really. Yet, you felt as though he was focused on completing the deed when he bedded you and you could not understand it. You listened, now when Rhaenyra was gushing about Harwin, after you had begged her to. Just to hear how it should be.
“Please, Nyra…” you held her hand tight, the look in your eyes desperate enough to convince the elder princess.
“Do you really wish to know of my bedroom activities, hāedar?” Rhaenyra asked, tugging you to sit on the couch by her fire.
You nodded in earnest.
“There is a reason and I beg you not to tell Aegon.”
Rhaenyra could see you were serious, you never kept secrets from your twin unless you must. She relented then, waiting for your first question.
“I have to know, is it…normal…for the husband to spend so little time on the wife’s pleasure before the act?”
Your voice was so unsure. Not embarrassed to tell your sister, but more embarrassed to voice on the topic at all. Sex was not an easy topic for some, you included. But you knew Rhaenyra was the right person to talk to.
“No, hāedar. Not in my experience. Harwin is quite intent on bringing me pleasure as many times as he can before I even see his cock.” Rhaenyra smirked, both at your reaction to her crass words and at the memory of that morning. When Harwin had delayed his duties just to feast upon, in his words, ‘the most delicious meal a man may have, his wife’s cunt’.
You sighed then and Rhaenyra instantly saw the change in your expression.
“Is something the matter, does our brother not give you the same treatment?”
She was not mocking you, for you could see the genuine concern in Rhaenyra’s expression and hear it in her tone. You only shook your head.
“Not that he does not do anything. He just…it seems like he is not as interested in what comes before as much as he is the sex itself.”
You did not know the word for it. Anything a couple did before sex, but you knew there must be more than having Aegon’s fingers momentarily buried in your cunt before he would rut into to you and chase his own pleasures, before passing out beside you. By Rhaenyra’s expression, you knew you were right.
“Have you told him, told him what you want him to do?” Rhaenyra asked, though she was already formulating a plan.
Again, you shook your head. You knew of Aegon’s past. The way his name was known in every whorehouse in the city, and yet that debauched nature seemed to never reach you. Rhaenyra took your hand, a mischievous in her eyes.
“Leave it to me, hāedar.”
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You thought nothing more of your conversation with Rhaenyra as you prepared for your usual dragonflight with Aegon. Something the two of you did weekly.
“Ābrazȳrys,” Aegon smiled, knowing hearing his High Valyrian was a weakness of yours and he was right, a soft blush on your cheeks as he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck.
Drunk, but not stumbling. His usual state, functional enough to navigate the day. He squeezed you a little, the way he had hugged you since you were both small. A gesture you were glad he continued.
“Valzȳrys,” you responded, feeling him smile against your skin.
“Shall we?”
Aegon followed you to your dragons, his arm loose around your waist as he walked. He was not shy with his public affections, and you could never deny he loved and desired you. But speaking with Rhaenyra had told you something was missing. As you mounted your dragon, all thoughts of that conversation left you the moment Starfyre left the dragonpit and made for the skies, Sunfyre on her tail.
“You want me to do what?” Harwin asked, not for the first time. It was like he could not believe the words Rhaenyra spoke.
“Teach my brother how to fuck his wife, properly. The poor girl is woefully unsatisfied.” Rhaenyra stated, as if she were talking of the weather or that night’s meal.
Harwin simply stood there, all thought, and reason gone from his mind. His wife wanted him to show her brother how to fuck? The prince who was known in all whorehouses and more for his depravities and salacious appetites? Rhaenyra could not be serious.
“I will not say it again Harwin. My sister deserves a man who knows how to care for her every need.” Rhaenyra smiled, stepping close enough to press her body to Harwin’s, her grin widening when he sighed in defeat.
“Show him, do it yourself first if you must. Hold his cock and put it in the right place if needs be.”
Harwin’s eyes were nearly burst from their sockets. It would not be the first time he had bedded someone at Rhaenyra’s behest. But these were her siblings. The look on her face however, and the love he held for you as a sister, was enough to convince him.
“Fine, you are lucky I love you so…”
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Harwin had heard the prince and princess had returned and retired to their chambers. Rhaenyra had near pushed him out the door at the news. It was now or never it seemed, though he had no clue where he would even begin.
He was a few feet from your chambers when he heard the soft moans and the gentle movement of the bed. Harwin took a breath and prepared to close his eyes as he shoved the thankfully unlocked door open.
“Harwin!” you exclaimed, grabbing a nearby sheet, and shielding your naked form.
Aegon was less concerned with his nudity but used his body to shield you a little.
“Is there a reason you have walked into our chambers uninvited, good brother?”
Harwin locked eyes with you, and you knew. Rhaenyra had sent him, because of your conversation.
“Rhaenyra?” Was all you said and Aegon looked entirely confused, his gaze swinging between you and Harwin.
The knight nodded, a silent exchange that told you what you needed to know but not Aegon. Your husband was more than confused and sat back on his haunches to look at you.
“What is going on?” he asked you, but Harwin answered.
“It appears, that your wife is not entirely satisfied with your abilities, good brother.” Harwin spoke firmly but gently as he settled down onto the couch parallel to your bed. His eyes stayed trained, for now, on Aegon.
But Aegon was looking at you.
“Is this true?” He looked hurt, those perpetually sad eyes staring down at you.
You sat up, holding the sheet close to you with one hand while the other nervously toyed with one of your auburn curls, a trait inherited from your mother.
“He is not wrong. I want…more.” You tried to maintain eye contact, and Aegon did not look angry which was good, you supposed.
“More? Like inviting Harwin in, more?” He asked, still not quite grasping the situation.
Harwin could see you floundering, and he spoke up.
“Not quite like that, Aegon. More…to show you what you are failing in.” Harwin did not mean to sound harsh, but it was the essence of it.
You wished for what Rhaenyra had. A man who would worship you from head to toe before fucking you senseless. Something it seemed Aegon was not doing. Aegon opened his mouth to speak but said nothing as Harwin stood up, removing his outer layer and moving towards the bed.
“It seems you are in need of lesson, my prince.” Harwin smiled, watching the blush on your cheeks as he got closer and closer.
You had always found Harwin handsome, telling Rhaenyra how lucky she was to have someone like him so devoted to her. Not that Aegon was not to you. The closer Harwin got, the more Aegon realised just what he meant by ‘lesson’.
Silently, he moved aside, watching as Harwin kneeled at the foot of the bed. He was just above eye level with your body, and you sat up on your elbows. Anticipation had you, the way his deep brown eyes bored into yours had a fire in your blood you had not felt in a little while.
“Now, princess, do you wish me to show your husband how a man worships his wife?” Harwin asked, his voice lower than you had ever heard. A sound that sent a shiver down your spine. You nodded, but that was not enough.
“Words, sweet girl. I need to hear you say it, and I am sure your husband does too?”
You looked at Aegon, who was flitting his eyes between you and where Harwin waited at your feet. He looked torn between being upset and impossibly aroused, based on the faint flush on his skin and the half hard cock between his legs.
“Show us.”
Harwin was gentle, far gentler than he would be with Rhaenyra as he gripped your knees. Tugging you down the bed and pushing the sheet from your body. Now, fully exposed you felt a flush of heat send your skin pink. You could feel his breath on your skin, the roughness of his palms on your thighs as he kneaded the flesh of them.
“Watch carefully, my prince.”
Your breath hitched the moment you felt Harwin’s lips on your inner thigh. Gentle kisses as his large hands pushed your thighs wider. Everything was already so different. Aegon was always gentle, but he was not as tender and slow as Harwin was being.
“You must take your time…savour everything you have before you…” Harwin mumbled to Aegon as he moved higher and higher, the coarse hair of his beard already sending pleasure shooting into your core.
Aegon did as he was bid and watched. Watched as Harwin kissed and nibbled your thighs until his nose brushed the apex, just shy of your cunt. He listened to the soft moans and whimpers that left your lips. Sounds he had heard at times.
But the moan that left you when Harwin finally reached your mound was near sinful, your head shooting up to watch what the knight was doing.
“Oh!” Was all you managed to exclaim the moment Harwin’s tongue took its first taste of you.
Harwin could not lie, you tasted divine. It seemed Targaryen women were each as delicious as the other. He took his time, easing you into it. His tongue taking languid strokes between your folds as his nose pushed against your pearl and his beard scratched your thighs.
The moans you let out were no more than incoherent sounds, your hands already gripping the sheets as Harwin had you hurtling towards your peak. His eyes looked up then, meeting yours for a split second before he took one of your hands and placed it on the back of his head.
“Show me what you want, sweet girl.” He urged, slowing down to force you to take control.
With a whimper and a quick glance to Aegon you gripped Harwin’s hair, which he’d left out of his usual tie. Pulling softly at the strands, you held him against your core and let your body choose what to do. Hips rolling gently as he let his tongue slip back between your folds. Before you knew it, your stomach tightened, and you were whimpering what sounded like Harwin’s name.
Aegon could not tear his eyes away from you now. He had never really paid attention to what you looked like when you came. Flushed skin, your eyes screwed shut as you let out those sweet, soft moans. And he realised he needed to watch you do it again and again. What surprised him now, was that Harwin did not stop.
Your hand loosened on the knight’s hair, but his mouth did not leave you. His hands found your hips and pulled you back to his mouth, listening to the surprised yelp you gave as he began to devour you. There was no other word for it. He was not as gentle as the first time.
Now he was showing what he was capable of.
With grunts and groans of his own, Harwin gave you know reprieve as he fucked his tongue in and out of you, holding you with one large hand as his other moved down to let his fingers join his tongue.
Your eyes rolled the moment he pushed a finger inside. They were thicker than Aegon’s, the rough skin only adding to your pleasure. Curses began to slip from your lips and Aegon could feel his own cock hardening watching you writhe against Harwin’s face. He resisted the temptation to touch himself, to intent on watching you fall apart again.
Harwin pulled away as you peaked, giving you the chance to relax and breathe slowly. And when he looked over at Aegon, the prince could see the faint sheen of your release on the knight’s face and beard.
“Never let her only peak once, the more she comes now, the more sensitive she will be later. And trust me, it is all the better for you.” Harwin rumbled out as he stood.
He shed his own clothing quickly. Finally revealing the sheer length and girth of his own cock. Even Aegon could not help but stare. No wonder Rhaenyra was so well satisfied, he thought.
Even you began to wonder if he expected to be able to fit that inside you, as you assumed that was where this was going. The rest of Harwin was just as impressive. This muscle built his entire body. Just the sight of him a fresh rush of arousal dripping from you.
“Are you ready, princess, we will take our time?” Harwin asked softly, climbing on to the bed next to you, helping you move slightly to accommodate him.
“Yes...” you replied softly, the aftereffects of your two previous orgasms still lingering.
Harwin let his hands trail over your body, as if he was marvelling at just how small you looked beneath them. From your hips and up to your breasts, squeezing the soft flesh gently to gauge your reaction. And when you whimpered softly, he was a little firmer, adding his lips to the mix.
What surprised you, was when he reached out to Aegon. Taking the younger’s hand and placing it on your other breast.
“Copy what I do.”
Aegon watched as Harwin let his hand cup your breast as his thumb began to swipe gently over your nipple, watching the skin pebble and perk as your whimpered out in pleasure. Aegon did his best to replicate the movement, watching and listening as you reacted just the same, back arching to meet his hand.
“My best advice will always be, to listen. If she moans and pulls you close, keep going.”
You were barely listening to what Harwin said, too focused on the different sensations. Where Harwin’s palm was large and rough, Aegon’s was a little smaller and softer. But the touch from both was enough to have you craving more. When Aegon’s hand slowed to watch Harwin, your own gripped it, begging him to keep touching you. And he did, knowing that you were showing him exactly what you wanted from him.
“Good girl.” Harwin cooed and you moaned in response.
“Do you hear that? Our princess likes being told she is a good girl…” Harwin but emphasis on the praise, listening as you groaned softly again.
Aegon did his best to listen to you and Harwin. Putting everything he heard and saw into his memory. He had never considered you would have your own wants and, dare he say, depravities. He had been afraid of treating you too much like his whores of the past. He wanted to make love, not fuck you. But maybe he had been wrong.
Harwin’s lips were latched to your neck and Aegon was quick to copy, following the path Harwin took on your opposite side. And your moans increased the harder they kissed. Aegon even began to take his own initiative when you gave out a whimper at his lips on your pulse. Kissing you harder until you moaned out his name.
“Well done, my prince.”
The knight let his hand move down your stomach, trailing over your hips and down to your cunt, feeling the slick skin and spreading your arousal around to prepare you for the next lesson.
“Time to learn how to properly fuck your wife.” Harwin smiled. He had to admit, he was having a little fun with this. You were just as responsive as Rhaenyra, but with a little more softness and innocence.
Large hands gripped your waist and lifted you gently. Your body was like putty in Harwin’s grip, two orgasms already making feel light. He settled you on his stomach, the rough trail of hair hitting your pearl just right as your got comfortable.
Harwin knew any position would be a lot for you to take him in, he was fully aware of his more than average size. This was about your pleasure, and he did not want to hurt you. He was already rock hard and waiting, but he let you take the lead here.
“Go slowly, princess. I am a lot to take.” The wink he gave you made you giggle, relaxing you a little more.
You moved slightly and Harwin held your waist with one hand while his other wrapped around the base of his cock. You were not sure you were ever going to be quite prepared, but the anticipation was too much. You had only ever laid with Aegon, this would be a change.
Harwin guided you down, listening to your soft whimper at the stretch. He kept up his praise as you took him inch by inch. And he was impressed to see you sink down to his base.
“Well done, sweet girl…” he smiled, stroking his hands up the curve of your hips and back again, letting you adjust to the intrusion.
Aegon watched in near disbelief. Seeing Harwin’s cock disappear between your folds, the sheer stretch of it and the moans you could not hold in. With a little encouragement, you began to move. Rolling your hips slowly and coating Harwin’s cock in your slick. The stretch stung, but not enough to take away the pleasure.
And soon you were rolling your hips in earnest. Your hand on Harwin’s broad chest to steady yourself. You had ridden Aegon a handful of times, usually having too little confidence in your ability to move as you should. Harwin’s hands held you steady, helping you keep your rhythm.
“Let her lead. When she is on top, she is in charge. When you are, you control the rhythm.” Harwin instructed through rough groans. Your movements getting more confident and drawing out his own pleasure.
Aegon let his own hand drift to his cock. He could not resist the throbbing pleasure any longer. You looked so beautiful, and something about seeing you on top of another man had him more aroused than he expected. His hand was tight on his cock, eyes never leaving you as he watched the roll of your hips against Harwin’s body. Adding in your gentle moans and Harwin’s growls and grunts, it had him near coming just from the sight.
“Not so fast, Aegon. I will let you put what I have shown into practice soon enough.” Harwin grunted, his hands now bouncing you up and down on his thick length.
Your moans were louder than Aegon had ever heard. Sounds he had not thought you capable of. But he had been wrong about many things today it seemed.
“Gods…I...I…” You panted as your nails dug into Harwin’s chest.
He had not been wrong, Aegon realised. The two previous peaks had left you sensitive enough to already be so close to a third. Your body was glistening in sweat, skin flushed, and your head thrown back as you panted and moaned your way through your third peak of the night.
“Fuck…” You groaned as Harwin rolled your bodies over and began pounding into you with abandon.
Aegon could feel his own cock throbbing painfully as he watched you moan and writhe under Harwin, the bed hitting the wall with the force of the knight’s thrusts, but you seemed to be enjoying it all the more. Soon enough, Harwin was pulling out of you and coating your stomach with his seed, growling, and grunting as he tugged his cock to release. Your eyes were closed, and you looked well and truly fucked out, your breath coming out in heaving pants as your high subsided.
“That is how a woman should look when she has been well fucked, my prince.” Harwin panted, pushing his hair from his face.
Aegon could do nothing but nod, as Harwin left the bed and retrieved a cloth to clean his seed from your stomach. Your eyes opened and saw only Aegon. And then his still hard cock.
“It is your turn now, is not, valonquar?” You smiled, your hand reaching out for him.
Aegon did not hesitate, pressing his lips to yours like he was a man starved. Forgetting that Harwin remained in the room, his hands settled on your waist as Aegon’s lips took a path down your neck and lower.
“Do not forget, take your time, my prince.” Harwin called, as he dressed.
Aegon only grunted in response. He had never felt quite so desperate for you. Whether it was desire or jealousy he did not know. But he did not care. He wanted to show you he had listened and learned.
His hand kneaded your breast as it had before, while his lips found the unattended one. Harwin had settled himself on the sofa, watching as though to ensure the prince truly had learned a lesson.
Aegon took his time as best he could, listening intently for your moans. Feeling how your body arched to chase his kisses and touches. Your hand in his hair to keep him close to your body. Confident now, in silently asking for what you wanted. And Aegon was quick to oblige, remaining where you held him until you tugged him away.
“Fuck me, please…” You whispered; you had never asked that way. Never asked so directly.
And it sent a shot of pleasure right to Aegon’s cock, earning you a groan in approval.
“Anything for you, my love…” He whispered into your neck as he took his place between your thighs.
His thrusts were slow to start, knowing three orgasms in now had you more sensitive than ever. But he wanted to do this right. He eased into you, before glancing at Harwin for approval he did not realise he needed.
“Hold her thigh at your waist, let her hook her leg round if she needs to.” Harwin instructed, knowing what Aegon needed now.
No one was doubting Aegon’s experience. But a whore was different to a wife, in some respects.
Aegon did as instructed, and the gentle change of angle had your eyes rolling back and Aegon’s name slipping from your lips.
“Praise her, you know she likes it now.” Harwin called again and Aegon leaned down to capture your lips.
He knew well enough what to say.
“My good girl, taking me so well after three peaks…” Aegon groaned into your ear as he sped up, all but pounding into you now, desperate for his own release.
The moans he got in return only spurred him on. You were both wound so tight it would not be long.
“Yes, good girl…” He whispered again, as he gripped your thigh tight and pulled it higher.
Both of you cared only for release now. He could practice Harwin’s teachings another time. Your nails were digging into his skin, and you were urging him on with your heel at his back.
“Please...” You moaned but you knew you needed to be clearer.
“Harder Aegon…”
That was enough for him. He wanted to give you everything you wanted and more. You had never been this vocal with your needs in bed. And he would deny you nothing. His hand moved from your thigh to the headboard as he went as deep as he could, wanting to show you he could do as well as Harwin clearly had.
You were so close to your fourth peak that Aegon could barely thrust into you with the way your walls clenched around him. His own cock throbbed hard within you as he felt his own release pulsing through him.
Neither of you heard Harwin leave, too lost in your own pleasures. But the knight could hear your loud moans and the slam of the bed into the stone wall. A stark contrast to the soft, timid moans he had entered to.
He was a few feet from your rooms when he heard you near scream Aegon’s name, a sound that told him Aegon had learned, and learned well. Harwin could only smirk and mumble to himself as he walked away.
“Well done, my prince.”
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starhvney · 3 days
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Hi hi! I wanted to request a headcanon on what the mystreet boys (Garroth, Laurence, Gene, Blaze, Dante, etc.) would be like on their wedding night? Smut please :3
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𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍
𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: blaze, dante, garroth, gene, laurance
𝐂𝐖: NSFW, sexual acts
𝐀/𝐍: i’m not super satisfied with how this turned out but my brain is fried so :p i still hope you enjoy hehe
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑷𝑶𝑺𝑻 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑨𝑰𝑵𝑺 𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑻, 𝑰𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑨𝑹𝑬 𝑼𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑮𝑬 𝑶𝑹 𝑼𝑵𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑻𝑨𝑩𝑳𝑬 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑺𝑬𝑿𝑼𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑻 𝑷𝑳𝑬𝑨𝑺𝑬 𝑫𝑵𝑰.
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𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐙𝐄
he’s so lost in the feeling of how good you feel around him, with your legs hitched over his shoulders and hips frantically slamming down into yours that he doesn’t realize how much time has passed since he started fucking you into the mattress.
it was now late into the night—your wedding day technically over as it was now the early hours of the morning—and blaze still hadn’t lost nearly enough of his energy compared to you.
your dress has long since been discarded on the floor next to blaze’s suit, and your makeup has melted off your face. you’re not sure how many times you’ve cummed, or how many times he has for that matter. but the sticky mess that connected the two of you, soaking the sheets and dripping to the floor was enough of a testament to the heated exchange you shared tonight. 
everything about him was overwhelmingly warm. from his mouth and hot breaths on your shoulder, to his large hand pressed over your lower stomach as his length made a bulge against the skin with every thrust. 
your eyelids were heavy, barely open as you lost your grip on staying conscious. you’d lost any ability to speak, choked mewls the only thing you could muster anytime you tried to utter any words.
a low, needy groan left his lips, the noise similar to a growl as his canines dragged against your bruised skin. he slows down his frenzied rhythm as he spills inside of you for the nth time tonight. his spend gushes out of you as he shifts his hips forward, causing you to flutter and squeeze around his shaft.
his lips crash into yours again, and you whine in discomfort at the empty feeling as he finally pulls out from your worn and swollen hole. slowly, he lowers your legs from his shoulders, pitied laughter leaving his lips as he watches them shake between his fingers. you’re sure you won’t be able to walk tomorrow, with your sore hips and strained thighs.
𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄
dante’s hands grip and massage your breasts through the white lingerie that decorated them, his fingertips pinching and rolling your hardened nipples through the material.
he chuckles at your small whimpers, head resting back on the headboard and a smirk plastered on his lips. he adjusts his hips, purposefully stirring them up into you, his dick buried deep to the hilt and your lacey panties pushed to the side.
your hands fly out to land on his stomach, head drooping forward to land on his chest and dante couldn’t help but chuckle again. you were just so cute sometimes, and watching you struggle riding him after saying you could was adorable.
“need help, hon’?” he asks, and you can hear the smug smirk in his tone.
his hands fall to your hips, squeezing them before gently lifting you up, dragging his length slowly out of your walls to the tip, leaving you fluttering at the empty feeling. before you can make any complaints he quickly pulls you back down, skin slapping against skin as he sets a steady pace, bouncing you on his cock. 
he’s so mesmerized by the way you look on top of him, his eyes can’t decide where they want to focus on. they trail from the lewd expression on your face as you cry his name in broken moans, to the way your breasts bounced with each thrust, and down to the shiny slick that covered his dick every time it appeared and disappeared back into your cunt.
“ah, so good. you’re so cute like this, you know that?”
𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇
it’s unfair to him, how beautiful you looked all night. since he saw you walking down the aisle he had that enamored and glossy look in his eyes, the cerulean pools of color in his irises reflecting his overwhelming love for you.
so you really can’t blame him for how he immediately began to tug your dress off as soon as you crossed the threshold into your suite, or how he groaned when his hungry eyes landed on the delicate lace that decorated your body underneath.
“so beautiful, and all mine,” he pants, kissing the side of your face with certain passion as his hands hold yours down into the sheets beneath you.
your pleasured cries echo off the walls, and you can’t be bothered to feel embarrassed about who might hear you in the hotel with the way his huge dick continuously rammed itself into you. between the sound of your heartbeat thudding in your ears and the gasps for breath between the two of you, you can faintly hear the lewd pap pap pap of his balls slapping against the wet skin of your ass.
“fuck, ’m gonna cum,” you sob, barely giving the warning before you shutter against him, your juices splashing between the two of you as he continues his pace.
“love you,” he moans, breaths coming out short as his hips stutter in their desperate pace. “i love you.”
you manage to choke out a stuttered “love you” back, before squealing at the feeling of overstimulation on your nerves.
“you feel so good, my beautiful wife. just hang on for a little longer, okay? ‘m close.”
one of his hands releases its grip on your own, moving to cup your cheek as he rolls into you, stilling in his movements as his warm cum sends a delirious bliss throughout your nerves. the heat the two of you have created is trapped under the sheets and blankets, keeping you warm and cozy from the room’s cold air. 
his forehead rests against yours, both of your sweat mixing together as his eyes dazedly stare into yours with that same glossy, lovesick look.
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄
it took you by surprise, how gentle gene had been treating you all night. you weren’t sure how you expected him to treat you on your wedding night, but it most certainly wasn’t this. his tongue delved into your mouth, swallowing your soft gasps as his fingers pumped and curled into your heated core with a tender touch.
your eyes teared up, overwhelmed and dazed as he pinned you down in place with his body. you could do nothing but cling onto him, fingers digging into his arms and leaving irritated scratches along his shoulders.
“so pretty.”
his fingers continue to work open your cunt as he sloppily trails his kisses toward your jawline before propping himself up to admire your expressions. you can’t help the whine that leaves your lips as his fingertips brush against that certain spot that has you seeing stars, turning your face away from his hooded gaze.
“don’t shy away,” his voice is husky, the statement sounding more like a demand than any request. “look at me.”
his hips pin yours down as he speeds up the pace, the hard length that strained through his pants pressing against your thigh. using his free hand, he cups your jaw, turning your head back so he can see you.
you squirm, tears dripping down your cheeks as your breath catches in your throat. the pressure that had been building in your lower abdomen was tensing into a thin thread, close to snapping you into bliss.
“there you go. cum for me, yeah? can you do that?”
his fingers hit that spot, snagging the thread and tipping you over the edge. your eyes roll up as you gush around his fingers, back arching up into his chest as he leans back down to press a kiss along the shell of your ear.
“good girl,” his breath ruffles your hair, sending shivers down your neck.
he finally retracts his fingers from inside of you, massaging your hips and making you whine as you jerk and spasm beneath his touch. you hear the unbuckling of his belt and the shuffle of his suit pants, before his hard cockhead slid between your folds, his precum that had gathered on the tip mixed with your slick to create a natural lube. 
“you can take some more, yeah?”
𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄
“just let me take care of you, okay? i’m gonna make you feel good tonight,” laurance murmurs, kisses trailing down your stomach and lingering on your hips as he begins to suck bruises into the skin. 
his hands rub and pinch at your thighs, head moving dangerously lower to your dripping core. you whine at his slow ministrations, hips squirming under his fingertips when he presses a small kiss against your clit. 
he laughs softly as he feels your hips desperately shift beneath him, as he keeps you from bucking up into his mouth. his hands grip tighter on your thighs, fingers digging in deeper to pull your hips towards him as he gives another small nip to your clit.
you whimper out his name, hands shooting into his hair.
“shh, my love,” he whispers, the heat of his breath sending shivers down your spine as he grabs your wrists, pinning them to your stomach between one of his own.
he leans lower, lips hovering over your center as his fingers begin to rub slow circles on your wet skin. his tongue flattens against your folds before his lips attach and suck on your aching clit. his free hand holds out one of your legs as they try to close in around his head, spreading you out for him.
without a second to waste he dives in, lapping his tongue against your cunt and sucking up your slick juices before his tongue plunges into you. he relishes in the way you melt under his touch, your soft sighs of pleasure music to his ears. 
your face heats up at the lewd noises coming from between your legs, the wet slurps making your ears burn red as your husband eats you out like you were his last meal. he begins to grind down into the mattress to relieve the tension as his cock strains uncomfortably against his pants.
his nose brushes against your bundle of nerves as he continues to fuck you with his tongue, causing your legs to tremble against him and pulling you closer to the edge of pleasure.
“please,” you cry, chest heaving as you squirm and gasp, eager moans falling from your lips.
suddenly he begins to shake his head back and forth, mouth continuously flicking against your g-spot as his nose rubs against your clit. your hands tug against his hold, desperately trying to latch out against him to ground yourself as you begin to ride out your orgasm.
he lets go, smiling as you grasp onto his hair, squirting against his mouth. he sucks up your release with a lewd pop, before raising his head up to look at you with his pupils blown wide in lust and chin covered in your juices.
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©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my works as your own.
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Text
Omniscient Reader Fic recs:
Kimcom time travels force feed Kim Dokja love:
1.
This is that one fic that will make you cry and smile at the same time. It is one of the crackiest angst I have ever read. It is a fic that made me so happy, yet so terribly sad. But all in all, this is a fic that will make you laugh. And make you remember/ fall in love with the characters all over again. It's a wip sadly, but each chapter is so damn lovely, that I just keep going back and read over and over again.
2.
This is a soft, soft fic, it's also the fic that made me fall in love with damn premise of Kim Dokja getting love before the apocalypse. It is a fic about dokja realizing that he is loved. It is a fic that I wish to see completed one day — but I doubt it would be 😭 but the chapters that are out are again, very satisfying. And I loved it.
3.
“You are loved,” said Yoo Jonghyuk. “This is a threat,” said Yoo Jonghyuk.
This is a fic that is already really popular but this is a fic I'd recommend people to read after finishing the epilogue. Because it is gives you those soft fuzzy feelings, it sews back the torn heart that is caused by the actual book and it makes you believe in everything that is good in the world. This is fic where everyone is happy and Dokja is with them. And basically everything I ever wanted.
(these are sadly the only fics I remember reading with the premise of kimcom going back to the past 😭 but yeah they made an impression on me and I don't think I can recover.)
Moving on to the fics I'd recommend after the reading the novel as in post-epilogue:
Post-epilogue fics to heal your heart:
This is a fic I would recommend a 100 times over to anyone who would listen. This is the first fic I ever bookmarked, even after having an ao3 for YEARS, first fic I ever commented and in general one of my most favorite fic to ever written. This is a fic that healed me, that made me remember everything about I loved omniscient reader, that made me so happy that I have no words. To me, this fic is the epilogue they all got, the happy ending they deserved and it will always be canon to my mind. The way the writer wrote all of them made me cry and I'd always forever be grateful that this fic was written.
This fic is also every healing, and it hurts so damn good. The way the author build up the emotions, kimcom bonding and literally everything. The way the author writes their relationship and the way Dokja perceives them. This fic deserves so much more recognition. It is beautiful and it's also very healing. And soft with harsh edges that is soothed as you keep reading. It's basically Kim Dokja getting to learn love without his memories, it's about baby dokja healing and it is about kimcom being desperate to teach dokja that he isn't alone.
This is just soft, soft and soft. This is just fluffy, this is just what they all deserve. This is another fic that deserves so much more. This is just another dose of happiness, to read when you're having a bad day. The way the author writes the relationship between each characters, the slow healing, the love that comes so easy between them because they went through the end of the world together is fucking beautiful.
I bookmarked this on September 2022 and I still cry when I re-read it. This is a beautiful piece of how healing takes time, and how hard learning to love yourself can be and how beautiful this fic is and how I'd always hold it close to my heart no matter what. This piece also deserves so much more. This is a fic about how even after reaching the end, healing can seem out of reach. It is a fic about patience and love and just beautiul.
This is again another fic that deserves so much. This is such a beautiful depictions how healing hurts. How it is a long damn road and sometimes you might stumble and it is hard. It might be a long road but when you finally begin healing and when you learn to finally trust — isn't that the most beautiful thing ever?
I'm surprised this fic isn't more popular honestly. This is one of the fics that depicts how ugly healing. And how it is so painful painful painful when the person you love more than the world itself doesn't realize their worth and they still try. And also joonghyuk has a garden????!!!! This fic is wrapped up so beautifully and leaves on such a hopeful note. It's written really well, and the characters are so beautiful, so damn real.
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(ANYWAYS I'll just rec these one's for now LMAO I mostly tried to rec underrated ones bc they are hidden gems, and they deserve love too. I'll make a separate post for orv Isekai/alternate world/modern world fics that needs more love because there's A LOT underrated gems. This post is mostly dedicated to @rozz-eokkk @cielelyse ; since they asked for it and I'm so sorry it took so long 😭 )
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knifearo · 5 months
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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rainymoodlet · 8 months
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minorfamilysupremacy · 11 months
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good to see the twitter fandom is respecting bible’s pain and human boundaries by (checks notes) hounding him for not being vocal enough about pride
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boxwinebaddie · 1 month
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STAN HAS THAT K CHOKER RIGHT? DOES THAT MEAN KYLE HAS AN S NECKLACE? like he could totally stack his s necklace with his star of david one
aaaaaaaaa
you know i love a lil matchy-matchy moment~
and actually, i accumulated a lot of different asks actually, mostly, interestingly enough asking me about the same roundabout thing: if jersey wears rings, how he feels about jewelry, if he has any tattoos or other piercings, stuff of the like, etc.
but i never got around to answering those because i'm kind of a perfectionist and i get all worked up in my head about how i'm going to answer things because i want them to be perfect ( i keep trying to structure nsfw ask like it's a nine page research essay, smh ) buuut
basically, as we all know well, jersey is…Particular.
particularly abt himself and what is done to him/on him.
( okay, fair warning: the rest of this answer is very long and i just talk a lot about the former question about jersey/his attachments to material things and also physical-emotional things — people — you do not have to read all that...the short answer is yes, kyle does stack a stan 's' necklace with the star of david, i talk about it more at the end, but this intro part is a lot of exposition and information. so if your curiosity does not end there...perhaps i can further it below xx )
a lot of it ties into his ocd and this need to control every aspect of his life, not being able to put it in anyone elses hands but his own because he's scared of that improbability...that margin of error.
it keeps him up at night.
for that reason, even though he has a ton of health issues, diabetes, etc. he is extremely Defiant and Volatile in doctors offices. like, he will start throwing shit, rip ivs out of his arms, ask you to explain what you are giving him In Detail and will probably still refuse to take it.
tbh, the only reason he's taking any medication at all is because he really loves sheila and she is extremely worried about losing him </3
( jersey is a mommas boy, i said what i said! )
but he takes his own blood sugar, pricks his own fingers, runs all his own tests...he really does not trust anyone else w/ that kind of thing. which ties into piercings because he does...think that they're…lowkey, highkey *jersey vc* Hawt, i’m sorry; it's true.
i do think it's his...Thing.
the man really just wants a little hot topic emo boy accessory display for a boyfriend and he is right for that. cute, shiny, edgy. i respect it.
eye candy, arm candy, if you will?
( jersey is extremely partial to candy, ofc <3 )
and idk, maybe it's just a me thing, but to me, jerseykyle, specifically, is very conceptual and is intrigued by fashion and stuff, but because when he was overweight growing up, he was sort of just shoe-horned into all this oblong, ugly clothing, whatever would fit or they could afford. so he never really got to be able to wear things he wanted to, until about right now and it's been really liberating for him? idk? aaa
i love sleek, chic, dark academia, tired 1940s evil classics professor, thrift store couture jersey in his dollar store blazers and italian loafers. like my man is an off duty model, forreal. i am obsessed with him.
and actually he really Likes tattoos and piercings and dyed hair and thinks all the little rings are cool because you're like this living art form, this distinct individual, there's a uniqueness, a cool rebellion there he can’t create have within himself, so he combats/masks it as disgust and disinterest because he doesn't like to process his complicated feelings and also doesn't like forming attachments...especially...
...to things he's inexplicably Drawn to.
which is why, initially, upon even just bearing witness to raven of crimson dawn, kyle freaked out because he was like immediately Extremely Attracted to him because he checks all these little boxes in his brain, but his brain, of course, is corroded by mental illness and trauma, so he immediately projects extreme amounts of hostility in raven's direction because he is like you're all chaos and disorder, you're a mess, you throw caution to the wind, You’re Unpredictable.
when he’s actually obsessed w/ that capricious energy?
like he makes fun of stan for all his punk rock boy 'hood ornaments' and 'anarchical embellishments', but his heart starts racing every time stan winks at him and his little eyebrow piecing winks back, or he runs his tongue over that lip ring kyle got hyperfixated on, partially because it's pretty, which...rip, not even joking…
if stan comes out in the support rock, fuck a rockstar tank top, the tiny pants and sports that little lip ring chain thing that connects to the cuff on his ear...it does something seriously ( down ) bad to kyle's brain and stan is immediately getting Railed. soz if you were waiting for stan's autograph, hes gettin ky's all over his body. woops.
but!!! it's mostly bc stan had the courage and hedonism to put something through his lip and live with it. that he could get other piercings, get tattoos, let people handle him, put his life into someone else's hands, let them have control for a second, knowing they are executing the thing you want/need without you doing it...
it's literally All a control thing.
or rather, an inability to lose it.
because he's very particular, yeah, about what he likes and doesn't like, he won't wear any fabrics that itch or bother him, he won't buy something if the hem pisses him off, if he has to wear something he doesn't like, he will bitch and moan the entire day about it. and while it's good to have that level of self-assuredness, it's also kind of a self-preservation and self destructive coping mechanism for jerseykyle.
because he pushes everything out...
but doesn't let anything else in.
and a lot of that changes when raven/stan comes back into the picture, because when they were growing up, stan was this beautiful, glowing fixture of nonconformity, this pillar of strength that was twice as strong as he was, even though kyle was the fighter. because stan fought for self-acceptance and kyle fought for self-loathing.
and really...the reason why his ed developed in the first place was because gerald and society as a whole brainwashed him into hating himself and that people would only digest him if he was in small enough, beautiful, palatable enough pieces to eat so even though he acts out or throws punches: It’s All Within The Lines.
or the confines, rather.
of the person he thinks people want him to be.
but, idk, i'm talking too much. basically, gist is, kyle has a hard time handing over control to other people/being vulnerable and the final piece to that is...permanence.
a piercing...a tattoo...is Permanent.
i mean, sure, they close up and you can get them removed, but you are irreconcilably changed and altered. you are different now.
anddddd sigh, the jersey can't say i love you ask strikes again! because jersey can't say i love you because it's handing over control, because it's vulnerable because it's...permanent and he has extremely deep-seated commitment issues because of all of that.
which means he rarely, if ever, makes said commitments.
so when he Does...
it's a very special thing indeed.
because jersey has no tattoos or piercings on his body.
save for the sun/moon one he got on his ring finger for stan ( i can never decide if i want jersey to have the sun tattoo because he is the sun or if he has the moon one so he can wear rae around with him )
*** ( i also think it's possible he might get little hebrew things for his mom or idk, something very important later...i'll think about it more )
and...One ear piercing.
i was going to go at this in more comical and dramatic way in an old post, but basically, i think kenny/bebe/craig someone basically joked about there being reduced earring piercings at claire's and they should take kyle because he's the only one without pierced ears and jersey gets really defensive about it and everyone's like ooooh! kyle's scared to get his ears pierced, so the competitive and aggressive side of him that hates to lose briefly outweighs the neurotic side and is like "fuck you!!! let's go right now! i'm not scared of anything!"
and he gets there, stan's with him, and he is...freaking out in the little plastic chair with some eight year old girl next to him ecstatically getting her ears pierced for her birthday, bc he's going to have to let someone...do something to him/inflict something on him.
( which actually, i think, is what is really beautiful about j.k and r.s' relationship and dynamic, is that jersey teaches raven that you can't just let people do things you don't want them to do to you just because you feel like you should ft. his sexual trauma and stan teaches kyle that it is okay to let other people in, to do reckless things, to allow yourself to feel and enjoy simple pleasures w/o fear. ft. his ocd
lmao, is there a branch in my eye again? y is it Watering )
and ravenstan is like, mi amor, they are just your ears, you will be okay, i will hold your hand…
everything will be fine, i swear. :’) <3
and he gets hyped up, ready to go, the 16 y/o piercing his ears tells him she'll count to three and pierce on one.
...and she pierces on Three.
i'm not sure if it's bc she pressed too soon or because she thought that if she surprised him, it might make him less nervous, but it does not!!!! kyle FREAKS out!!!! his ocd goes haywire and basically has a nervous breakdown at freaking /claires/ bc she pierced his ear before she SAID she would and destroys the confidence that he built up to let himself be vulnerable.
it seems like a Silly thing...but i think it says a lot, yknow?
and though it was a serious blow to his ego, kyle only has...one ear pierced because he panicked and could not get the second one done. and it, to this day, is one of the only asymmetrical things abt him. which, i actually think is important to him coping w/ his ocd
( similar to how kyle, sorry slight nsfw, having stan have to ask for things if he wants them, helps him, in a seemingly innocuous way, build confidence in himself/not let things just 'happen' to him without his consent ) because having only one ear pierced means he has to deal with being lopsided and that, everyday the earth doesn't crash into the sun...means that he's okay.
also a cute thing about the one ear piercing is that i think kyle wears like this cute little gold sun dangly one that has a similar ambiance to the sun and moon glasses chain charms? it's his signature.
and other than showering, sleeping, etc. he only really ever takes it out when raven is going off somewhere far away :( and he switches it with a little stan silver earring ( idk kyle feels very gold jewelry bc of his orange hair and stan feels v silver bc of his blue eyes and stuff ) and stan sometimes takes kyle's with him on tour...AAAAA i'm sad
on the subject of rings, since someone else asked me, kyle does not wear rings even though he does like them/they're pretty because they're heavy, they clank against his pen when he's writing, the sound pisses him off...but he wears stan's lil silver emo boy rings when he's away and gaslit himself into liking the sound because the sound it makes against his pen reminds him of the sound it makes when stan is excitedly scribbling song lyrics and singing to him aaaaa IM :(
WHERE WAS I GOING WITH THIS AGAIN?
oh, yeah.
extreme mental illness.
so jersey never makes adjustments or accommodations for anyone, and when he does it's a big deal...but really...
it's because Stan is a big deal to him.
stan is EVERYTHING to him.
and kyle thinks it's cute that at every show and every concert, stan always wears the little spicy k charm on his emo boy choker ( and got the little even spicier inner thigh tattoo w kyle's name on it...anyways )
so, he starts wearing a little s around his neck for stan.
which, initially, i'm sure you're like...oh God.
jersey making an adjustment to his very specific cartoon character outfit alignment of things he wears every day, things he wears at home, things he wears specifically when going out depending on the environment...this sounds like a recipe for disaster. this is a big change for him. he's gonna spin out or short circuit his brain.
but...really? it feels as easy as Breathing.
because for one of the first times in his life, kyle got something that he didn't just get for him, w/ selfish intentions or bc he needs to be in control...he got it...
to make stan happy. :)
and it does make him very, Very happy, indeed.
which is really funny to me because jersey is super annoying and just starts wearing it and pretends like he doesn't know what's going on bc he's bad at ~gestures~. so stan comes home, sees it and immediately is like *big stan eyes* 'what are you wearing??'
and kyle is like, ‘oh, this? i've had it forever, it's was just in the back of the closet. why? is it wrinkled or—‘ and stan is like 'no, dummy. the NECKLACE' and kyle, playing dumb, trying to act nonchalant because he's kind of embarrassed abt having emotions is like 'oh, that. y'know. just something i'm trying out...' and stan is like
'kyle broflovski, are you wearing a necklace with my initial on it????' and kyle is like 'alright, woah there, mr. celebrity. but not eeeeverything is about you, okay? that s could stand for anything.'
and stan is like *genuine heart eyes wowza because kyle is being annoying but stan loves dumb annoying kyle that's why he wears his lil possessive emo boy k charm on his choker everywhere* 'okay, well the k on mine stands for kiss me or kiss me kyle or whatever you want just, come and kiss me please' kshdlkshd <333 eWW
anyways...they're Gay. they're in love. they having matching tattoos and earrings and wear eachother's intials around their neck. nbd.
but...in a very longwinded format, i hope this answers your question baby and hopefully some other questions you have abt jersey. i'm sorry that was a lot but i literally could talk about jersey forever, like he is so fascinating and bc he's our narrator and he's such an unreliable one, it's hard to understand how his brain works.
hope this helps. <3
uncle nina, keeper of the cryptid jersey whore-lore
#okay i am sorry#i know this barely answers your question#but i got a lot of similar questions#and i wanted to answer them in one big ask while i was feeling inspired so here is a bunch of jersey trauma lore#i hope it's fascinating i find it all super fascinating#because he presents like this perfectly in control orderly well maintained militant self-satisfying self gratified thing#but it's just a front for the fact that he's scared of change and is scared of not being in control or making mistakes#like he is put together but a breath away from falling apart#stan teaches him to sit down kyle teaches him to stand up#also sorry kyle having a fascination with edgy boy things and piercings and stuff in particular is kinda spicy to me#i luv him like he really is like that man is a satanic abomination and i want to do terrible horrible depraved things to him#like he really saw raven of crimson dawn and was like oy gevault i have never wanted to cut my lip open on anything#more than on that mans lip ring holy hell oh my god he is so shiny and ripped up and his makeup is so cool#he is a celebrity he has no original thought he doesnt think abt anything thats why he has all those tattoos and piercings#but also y do i want to trace my fingers down them every time i look at him he reveals himself more to me i want to learn more#kinsey scale gay 6 jerseykyle everyone but specifically for dramatic crybaby bisexual punk rock boys w/ piercings#which...i think is incredible bc i do not think people would expect that from kyle...but people also thinks he cannot feel#BUT HIM ADJUSTING HIS WELL REGIMENTED LIFE TO INCOPORATE STAN INTO IT I WANT TO SCREAM#HIM LEARNING TO LET OTHER PEOPLE DO STUFF FOR HIM AND BE OKAY WITH THEM HELPING HIM#I WANT TO START FUCKING SCREAMING I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY I LOVE JERSEYS CHAR DEV#ok final thot is he does sometimes do a gold jewelry ring moment or somethin if he's feeling like its important to the look#but they are very insignificant things for aesthetics easily taken off or removed...its the important stuff he has trouble w#and makes it all the more rewarding i think <3#ily jers#okay last last small thing as far as like getting little piercings and random fun tattoos goes i just think he doesnt want any#boring king ik minus the ocd and stuff he just likes all his stuff to be very a-line and crisp doesnt like massive statements#like my man Is the statement like he has beautiful luxiourous curly red hair and green eyes and his nose a modern art piece#its too busy for him its distracting and u know thats what u have a hot rockstar bf for so u can pretend 2 read ur book#but the plot of the book is tracing ur sbfs sexc hip tattoos and helping him decide what belly button ring hes gonna wear#you know!!! The Plot!!! which kyles eidetic mem comes back but he does get distracted looking at stan a lot help
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stormyoceans · 2 years
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losing my mind like. sorry i know i never shut up about dark pete burning the whole mafia world down to save vegas and macau but. i've seriously been losing my mind over it like
give me vegas and macau being late home after vegas went to pick macau up at school on his bike and not answering their phones and pete immediately knowing something is wrong. give me pete calling chay to ask if he saw them actually leave together and then, at chay's affirmative answer, calling arm all business-like: "i need a favor, but you can't tell anyone about it. if you won't help me just say so right away, i don't have time to waste." give me pete asking arm to hack into the security cameras on the way from macau's school to their home and watching all the footages until he spots a van cutting vegas' bike off and then taking vegas and macau away.
give me pete figuring out it's not a ransom situation but a personal vengeance. give me pete manipulating, bribing, maiming, and torturing people, promising them not to kill them if they give him the information he needs and then killing them anyway because whoever was behind this can't know pete is coming and dead men tell no tales. give me kinn and porsche eventually finding out what’s happening and asking pete why he didn’t go to them for help. give me pete answering, cold and detached, ‘frankly, i haven’t ruled out the involvement of the main family in this, yet. nor of the new minor one.’ give me porsche’s indignant ‘ai’pete!’ before trying to stop pete from leaving. give me pete pointing his gun at porsche because yes, porsche is his friend and pete loves him dearly, but that’s pete’s family they’re talking about and no one – NO ONE – is gonna tell pete how he has to go about saving it, if someone was stupid enough to think they could mess with vegas and macau now that they don’t hold the title of heirs of the minor family anymore, well then pete has to show them just how fucking wrong they are and bring them as an example for everyone else.
give me pete finally finding out who’s behind it and where they are keeping vegas and macau and getting ready to bring down an entire building full of people armed only with a gun and a knife. give me pete being smart about it, using stealth and smoke bombs to conceal his attacks, preferring the knife over a gun he would have to reload over and over again, putting into practice his experience as a boxer and all of chan’s teachings: circle around the target rather than move in a straight line; forgo the heart and target the abdominal aorta that sits unguarded at the top of the abdomen at the meeting of the ribs; if the opponent is guarding their vital targets well, strike at less vital areas to make the defender move and then go for the carotid in the neck, the brachial artery in the arm or the radial artery in the forearm, the femoral artery in the leg, the abdomen. give me pete finding macau locked alone in a room and macau not caring about the blood covering pete from head to toes and just hugging him tight because pete really came for them. give me pete handing the gun to macau because there’s no way he’s leaving macau behind and the two of them fighting their way to wherever they’re keeping vegas. give me vegas tied to a chair, half-high with whatever drug they injected in his system to keep him from fighting back, a constellation of cuts and bruises all over his body. give me vegas never seeing something so beautiful as pete, covered in blood and knife in hand, killing the dudes assigned to keep guard to vegas' room and then dropping on his knees in front of vegas to gently cup his face and put their foreheads together.
and the fucker who did this? give me pete dragging him in front of vegas and macau and not killing him right away, but slowly cutting him up and tearing him apart for every wound he can see on the two brothers: a tooth for macau’s split lip, an eye for the bruise blooming on vegas’ cheekbone, all of his fingers for vegas’ broken arm. and then, finally, give me pete bringing vegas and macau home and the three of them piling together in the same bed, holding each other all night, their little family of three that no one is allowed to touch.
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heatherchasesyou · 7 months
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whysopasta · 7 months
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day of the dead (1985) might be my new favorite horror movie
#might slightly beat out the thing (1982)#great writing acting practical effects and it's actually pretty scary!#nobody does zombies like romero im telling you#i neeeeed to watch the original dawn of the dead#i've seen night of the living dead i've seen day of the dead and i've seen the dawn of the dead remake#which was actually pretty good even though im not a big snyder fan#night of the living dead is one of the movies that made me deathly afraid of zombies as a kid#and i only watched the first 5 minutes akdhkdh#i've seen the whole thing now of course#they're zombie movies where the real bad guy always ends up being power-tripping militarized assholes#day of the dead being that case the most#spoilers >>>>#every other zombie movie totally gives up on the zombies outside of a medical cure or vaccine#day of the dead explicitly goes no. they can be redeemed. they can be retaught. they can remember.#the only reason it all gets fucked up is because of that MOTHERFUCKER#oh but he gets his. it's too late but he gets his#never thought a zombie shooting a guy with a gun would be the most satisfying cinematic climax ever but guess what.#it was#and then that fucker gets torn apart while he's still alive and it's looks so fucking cool because the practical effects in that movie rule#oh man and the ENDING. im still thinking about the ending#it's so.... it's so abrupt and jarring and contradictory that you can't help but question it#it feels almost... delusional? in denial?#they're running to the copter and there's a wave of zombies and it's hard to tell if they can make it there fast enough#they're getting in and at the last second the girl gets grabbed#but hardly before you can even process that...#snap cut. the three of them are on a beach. no zombies in sight. she marks off a date on a homemade calendar#it feels impossibly idealic... like the movie can't bear to give you an unhappy ending so instead it lies#it's not impossible they made it out. they could've gotten the zombie off her and made it out#but the way it's structured makes it so ambiguous
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ilovelawrencee · 12 days
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// vent post.
i just don't know what else to do. I just wanted to live alone. I just wanted to go a whole day without crying or feeling scared. living close to my mother is hell. Hearing her scream scares me. and the worst of all is that I'm stupid and I can't do anything alone. so I can't even live alone.
i just hate being alive. living should be a choice. because I've already decided that I don't want to live. then people could just accept that I don't want to be alive anymore and allow myself to die. because I'm tired. I'm tired of this hell.
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