#and loving someone who becomes a totally twisted version of the person they used to be is also difficult

[ikemenomegas]

Omega!Getou Suguru x Alpha!Reader

The younger years

A brief note on how I see the Alpha for the two special grades of Jujutsu High: when a person writes for Gojo, I don't think you can really untangle him from Getou. Whether you ship them or not, the fact remains that they had the biggest impact on one anothers' sense of belonging and development. Getou was Gojo's moral compass for the few years they spent together and the question he posed haunts Gojo like nothing else. Gojo was Getou's measure for power and the person he wanted to be able to stand side by side with. I also thing part of Getou's choice to leave had to do with how futile he felt Gojo being "the strongest" ended up being. Because of this, and the fact that I write the Alpha in this situation as being most easily interpreted as being part of the Gojo/Getou/Shoko class, it would be most simple to explain the situation as the Alpha being the same person, but someone who has chosen different things in each case. I have some kind of au in my mind where there is a sort of poly ship with the three of them, but since that would never happen in canon (because of canon character deaths) I do write for a similar version of the Alpha going with either one or the other, not both.

tw: mentions of canonical character death, minor implication of suicide, and spoilers for the manga if you're not caught up

Getou Suguru walks a dozen lines: between the rural village world he quickly outgrew and the world of sorcerer's that sees him as a commodity; between the world of the conservative faction and higher ups that wants to control his omega body and his own uncontrollable power; between the way he realizes he loves you and the ways he cannot say it out loud...

Suguru is used to concealing his true emotions, even from himself. He presents himself in a way he thinks others want to see him but the core of his personality is really kind and empathetic. He has a hard time balancing this with his pride though.

When he first meets you as a first year student, he doesn't think much of you, he's just watchful like he is with everyone. Once he sees you fight, he acknowledges your potential, but his being nice to you beyond the surface level takes longer.

People think that Suguru is some kind of gentle omega because he's very good at being polite and courteous in public, this notion is quickly dispelled when Suguru and Satoru fall in together and feed off of one anothers' personality and Satoru starts to indicate to his classmates the kind of people in the sorcerer's world to watch out for (safe to mock behind their backs). Honestly, it's kind of a relief to all of you...

Fighting together builds closeness quickly as you each learn to trust the others with your own lives and the quality of the class's friendship improves.

Suguru and Satoru's techniques have made them both highly ranked sorcerers from the start so things are already difficult. There's a power gap between anyone else they get paired up with so they often go together, but since you have to go on missions too you've been paired up with both at one time or another.

It's on one of the worst missions where they send you all out together so Shoko-san always has a guard that you all end up saving each others' lives. After that, things are generally more informal between you all.

Missions are still a pain though. Every one of you have AoE attacks so it can be hard to coordinate, although Satoru is the worst at figuring it out because he was trained without any pairing up.

Satoru also doesn't like to pull his punches so when you train as a class it's usually with a cursed corpse or Suguru (until Satoru gets jealous of one or both of you ignoring him and forces someone to trade off). During these sparring bouts, Suguru realizes that he actually really likes your scent and he likes how you push yourself to get better at the close combat that could really make your technique shine even though it scares you. However, he often finds himself a little disappointed afterwards since your fighting style is more focused on redirection methods at the moment so you spend a good portion of the time trying to throw him away from you.

Things start changing when the boys' get more comfortable with one another and you and Shoko and warm heats start becoming something that's obviously going to be a Thing. For omegas, the school's archaic directors don't encourage suppressing the heats, even though it's safe with the right monitoring. It's the toss up of having the two strongest students down for a few days out of every other month but the higher-ups generally conceded it's worth the break.

Suguru doesn't mean to seek you out but you all live near one another in the student housing so it happens. Warm heats make him sleepy and a little dizzy and he'll sometimes end up curled up on one of the common space couches if you've left a jacket or something around. If those things of yours disappear for a few days they always end up returned, washed and folded.

The relationships that sorcerers form are very weird (from the point of view of theoretical social outsiders)

The danger of being a sorcerer and the constant threat of an early death means that people are careful about getting close to one another. A lot of people end up avoiding acknowledging emotional closeness because they thing it's kind of an automatic curse (regret) or because they think it's not worth burdening someone with the words

Also, in the field there's an expectation of trust in whomever you're fighting alongside - ideally you should trust the person you are with to do what they can and also do whatever you can. However, sorcerers are specialized humans fighting against the embodiment of fears. Sorcerers to some extent can't trust each other to hold up 100% in the face of that and fighting styles and techniques can be so individual it becomes impossible to fight alongside someone else

But people still have needs or desires for emotional and physical intimacy and this isn't exclusive to omegas or alphas and their particular brand of physical needs

When you notice Suguru taking your clothes, you treat it more like family members giving one another things to bring to their nest. It's not a courting thing, but he ends up with a blanket of yours that's in his room more often than not and he'll put some of his things into your laundry with the silent intent of stealing it back later.

When he doesn't want to be harassed by alphas in the the non-sorcerer world, he'll come out with you if there's no other group to be with or Satoru isn't in town

If you're both at the school and it isn't busy, he asks you if you mind if he doesn't wear scent blockers while at the dorm, which is typical for home-life in family homes but he asks, which comes off as polite and doesn't have to mean anything

You all eat together often so it's not weird if you know his food preferences and he knows yours

Sharing music comes naturally. He's more of an introvert and you all study together so it's not anything specific when you start sharing headphones

If he starts falling asleep next to you the morning after a bad night, well he and Satoru have fallen asleep on each other on the train too so it's not anything particular.

Except he wants it to be. Maybe. He's still a sorcerer and you're all barely crossing sixteen so does he get to want this? He's starting to want something and he doesn't know if you want the same thing. (He doesn't know if Satoru knows he wants the same thing too...)

And then Riko happens. Riko happens and Satoru almost dies and he isn't allowed to die, you almost die and everything starts to fall apart.

The last year, the higher-ups start sending him on a lot of individual missions or missions with people who essentially stood back and watched. You start getting sent out with weaker teams to even the odds. You're with him sometimes but it's not enough.

You're still at the school more often than Satoru but it's not enough. He wants different things from you and Satoru and Suguru isn't enough.

He hides when his first full heat hits. He makes Shoko give him scent blockers and safe suppressants and against all instinct to find you, he hides.

When you see him afterwards, a mistake brought on by being too tired to sense you near, he tells you he's fine. You don't believe him, but he's come to you before when something is wrong. He may not tell you what's going on, but he's sought you out in the months since the merger failed. You think that whatever it is, you have more time.

He just nudges against your shoulder and shuffles to his room to sleep off the exhaustion. You bring him a bottle of water and leave him alone. Is that the moment? If you'd read the tension in his shoulders and stayed, would that have been enough?

He's exhausted body and soul when he finds Mimiko and Nanako, when he makes his decision and disappears

You see him only once after that. Shoko sends you a picture while she's waiting for you to meet up. It just says "shinjuku".

There is one world in which you run. You don't know where you're going. You can't feel him. You have no idea where to find him. But you run up a crowded street and from the shadows, Suguru lets you run by him and sees tears on your cheeks.

In another though, you come from the other direction and he stops you, just the barest flicker of his energy appearing, like his hand brushing your arm, and you stop like he knew, like he hoped, you would, and ask him a question.

[ghost-bxrd]

Been mulling over Titans Tower and it's really interesting to me how it's treated in Fanon as compared to how the events transpired in canon. it's a really fun topic! Honestly, the original writing in canon is DOGSHITE but not for the usual reasons people cite.

Here's what does make sense in canon but is largely ignored (this is using canon characterisations at the time): First, it's all about the whole Titans team, not just Tim. They really downplay his death a lot, did not put up his statue or honour him whatsoever. Plus the hero community tends to victim-blame him a fuckton. Jason is showing that his death could've happened to anyone. Second, Tim and Jason are just two yearish apart—Jay died at 15, Tim becomes Robin at 13—so those Titans are more like his colleagues than anything else; he's not some older guy beating the shit outta them. Third, Tim’s indifference to Jason's comments and his cockiness about being a better Robin are pretty on-brand for his early portrayal as Robin. (I think fanon Tim derives a lot of his characteristics from his Red Robin run, which is valid as well! But here in particular we have Robin Tim... who... was... uh... a bit of an asshole when he was written back then and the HUBRIS on that man? Immaculate.)

What still makes this absolutely dog shit is the dialogue and how Jason is pouring his heart out to someone who he doesn't really care about. Jason... just doesn't operate this way... Why's he trauma dumping on... tim... ???? It makes no sense whatsoever because Jason really is someone who'd keep those vulnerabilities to himself. Why would he open up to... CANON TIM??? He makes scathing remarks when faced with Bruce and Dick because he knows the knife twists then and at he cares about their reaction. But not tim ????? Canon UTRH doesn't even mention Tim ????? ???? So in the end it's still shit imo.

I also find the use of Pit Madness in fanon super interesting, despite it not being canon. It's used to propel the Titan's Tower incident, which fascinates me because it shows how people are willing to work around its flaws to maintain consistent characterization in their works (which is !!! cool !!)

It's so interesting how many other incidents that do occur in canon aren't as well known as this one aren't given much thought. But this one is and it's interesting how people try to work with it regardless of it's flaws originally!

I'd really love to hear your opinions about it and how flexible you are with the Titans tower incident! :) How do you work with your Jason and your Tim? because it's cool to hear your analysis etc etc

Hooo boi okay i was planning on replying to this earlier but this deserves a proper, thought out response (which I’m shite at but I’m trying here. Words are hard.)

For one, I wholeheartedly agree with the whole trauma dumping thing.

Obviously we all have different tastes in media and I know there are quite a few people who enjoyed the confrontation with Tim, which is totally fine, but personally… yeah, not my thing.

I got into the Batman/batfam fandom via fanfic, so my first introduction was some version of Titans Tower I believe. I was super intrigued by the characters and the tidbits of lore sprinkled throughout that I immediately began reading up on them and digging through the internet for more info and background story on them. Which then quickly evolved into the part where my adoration for Jason’s character began and a short phase where I absolutely despised early canon Tim.

Like— all the victim blaming. He seriously couldn’t mention Jason without adding something derogatory about getting himself killed, which sat so, so wrong with me. Not to mention the Titans just accepting a new Robin right off the bat and joining in blaming Jason for his own death. I’m pretty sure that was the point where I swore off comics for a long while and decided to live off fanon 🤣

And then Jason’s part in the Titans Tower incident. I think part of how weird the canon event was is due in part to how the writers fumbled to depict trauma? Or maybe they just outright hated him because I know a lot of people back then despised Jason and his run as Robin.

Whatever the reason, I think I genuinely cringed when he revealed the Walmart Robin costume he was wearing. And then the trauma dumping.

Jason is smart enough to know Tim wouldn’t care about his grievances. I mean- dude just broke into his hideout to attack him, I think Tim’s about as done with Jason as with any other criminals, regardless of his past. And all that is proven by Tim fighting back tooth and nail without pause. He doesn’t even react to the accusation of the missing statue in Jason’s honor. Like, he genuinely doesn’t seem to care. And why would he? They don’t know each other.

And yeah maybe he was trying to beat some sense into Tim (which is still wrong but— vigilantes I guess? Idk) and make him quit Robin, but Jason’s also smart enough to know that Robins don’t quit easily. And then, as soon as Tim is down for the count and can’t keep fighting, Jason leaves. Just like that. No actual murder attempt, no kicking-while-he’s-down (at least as far as I remember).

It makes no sense. What would Jason be gaining from that encounter? Why would he blame the kid that replaced him and not the guy that did the replacing? Hell, it would make more sense for him to go after the Titans than Tim. Not the mention him casually doubting Tim’s talents when he must have done some background checks on him.

It’s why I like the idea of Pit Madness I guess, and that Jason actually went to the tower with the intent to kill. Because that way the entire thing wouldn’t seem so… pointless.

As for how flexible I am with the Titans Tower storyline, it really depends on the route people choose to explore. But I’m a huge sucker for the “Jason was Tim’s Robin” trope where there’s at least a mild amount of hero worship going on. 👁️ Oh, and happy endings. I can’t deal with tragedies.

But yeah these are my thoughts on it. Obviously no hate to whoever enjoyed the comic mentioned above 💚 we’ve all got different things we resonate with after all~

[watching-sam-and-dean-again]

Watching a reactor on YouTube who just got to Season 4: Lazarus Rising, and I’m so annoyed by the amount of comments with people saying things like, "this is when the series REALLY starts" and "Seasons 1-3 were the prologue, now The Story begins" and "I’ve been waiting for you to meet my favorite character!"

First, I will never be able to understand Castiel being someone's legitimate favorite character. I just don’t get it. He starts off as a massive dick, becomes an ally, uses and betrays both brothers a number of times, rarely takes full responsibility for his actions, and ends up as a totally different and neutered version of himself. But this guy is your favorite!? The only reason I think a large number of fans who love him do is because he comes in the gate treating Sam like crap and he becomes a simp for Dean (or they are shippers). Also, if someone is a more casual fan, I can see enjoying Cass because he’s quirky and he mostly stands up for the Winchesters, but if someone is a big fan of the brothers, Cass makes their lives harder a lot of the time. Also, I’m coming to really hate the fact that the dude is always in a trench coat. How am I supposed to take a character seriously who is essentially like an unchanging cartoon character come to life? Anyway, despite how it might sound from my ranting, I actually do think people are allowed to love whatever character they want, but it just doesn’t compute for me personally that it’s Cass as he is on screen (not in someone’s head).

Next, the idea of people calling the first three seasons "The Prologue" to supernatural is offensive to me personally (well, not offensive but it’s dumb as hell). A prologue is used to give some important background that should be known for you to better understand the main story, but it happened before, or doesn’t quite fit into, the main narrative. I’m sorry, but the first three seasons of Supernatural are the foundation that everything builds off of, and maybe I’m splitting hairs here, but it’s not just the set up to the Real Story. The Real Story of Supernatural has always been and will always be "the epic love story of Sam and Dean," not the angel crap. Calling the basis of the whole show the prologue has an implied message that it’s not as important as, or connected to the rest of the story. Again, people are allowed to have their own opinions about what they enjoy in media, but this idea that what came before Season 4 wasn’t as important as the rest of the show is actually bad media literacy, especially when you consider how much retconning and inconsistency later seasons have (*cough* John Winchester, for exapmle). The early seasons are Supernatural at its most pure, and if you don’t like or care about Sam and Dean's story, what are you doing here?

I was going to go on by listing all of the important things that we learn about Sam and Dean's characters and relationship in the first three seasons, but honesty, I’m tired. If you’re reading my post, I’m sure you already know. True fans of the show, even if seasons 1 to 3 aren’t their favorite, know how important these seasons are. Frankly, if someone claims that they don’t matter as much as the later season, then I’m going to assume that they are probably a heller (and I’m probably right), thus their opinions on the show don’t matter.

Speaking of Hellers, they are the Jehovah’s Witnesses of fandom. They descend on your doorstep (YouTube video, blog post, etc), uninvited and unwelcome, to make you uncomfortable by forcing their literature (head-canons and subtext) on you in a vain attempt to make you convert to their twisted version of a cult religion (Destiel). Some get indoctrinated into their cult, others consider them a joke, and yet others are driven to madness by the constant hounding of the hellers. I wish they would just stay in their lane and let people come to their own conclusions about the show and the characters, but they try to gatekeep the fandom experience by jumping on anyone new and telling them how they are the "most popular ship" and that supernatural queerbaits, but Dean and Cass are still totes husbands, and there is some other guy there, too but Sam is just some jerk who isn’t as important as Wuwu Dean and their Little Meow Meow Cass. If somone actually sees and enjoys Destiel on their own, great, good for them; they’ll find the blogs and groups who love it too. Hellers don’t need to try actively recruiting people. It’s all just a numbers gone to them. We have the most fanfic (um, yes, because the show doesn’t deliver what you want), we are the most popular ship (sure, because the other main ship is brothers which squicks some people out, and because you crucify anyone who admits to being a Wincest shipper), and they tell the stupidest lies (the show shifts away from being about the brothers, and focusses more on Dean and Cass' "relationship," and Sam isn’t as important to the story later). I wish they would just stay in their own sandbox and not come pee in everyone else's. Cult like behavior in action.

Okay, deep breaths. I’m grad I got that one off of my chest, but my blog is getting very ranty. I’m going to try make sure my next post is a positive one.

Happy weekend everyone!

[miss-andromeda]

2012 TMNT 😁

The first character I first fell in love with: 

This should be a no-brainer...I think you know him. Tall, purple bandana, gap between the teeth, way too smart for his own good...yeah, it's him. 😌💜

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: 

Honestly, Raph! I started the show thinking very surface-level of him; awesome ninja, anger issues, stuff like that. Then when I started rewatching the show, I started to see how vulnerable and soft he could be with his brothers - along with unbelievably sassy he can be. Seriously, dude has some of my favorite one-liners in the whole show.🤣❤️

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: 

Oh, this is gonna be interesting...I'm gonna be blunt here, Leo. Don't get me wrong, I like him a lot and he has some amazing moments, but he doesn't necessarily have the snark that makes Raph and Donnie stand out, and the sunshine and humor that makes Mikey so endearing. I love Blue, but he's 4th place out of the four. 💙

The character I love that everyone else hates: 

Hmm...probably Shredder. I've seen people say that his motivation is pretty lame (which, in some way, it kind of is) but he's not just a bratty child. He's a really twisted villain and seems to really believe his motivations are completely justified - and you can't deny he's completely ruthless in battle. Really exemplifies the concept of the head of the Foot - and honestly, I think he's a great villain.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer:

Probably April. I liked her a lot when I was younger (the concept of girl power and she's got a potential romance with my favorite turtle? Sign me up!), but once I got older...she really grated on my nerves. Don't get me wrong, I like her in season 1; she's an inexperienced teenager who's dealing with the pain of having her dad be kidnapped and is meeting some new friends along the way. Season 2 onwards? I wanted to strangle her. Not just because of the love triangle (although that is a part of it,) but also because she lost a lot of that awkwardness that made her likable in season 1, and just became a cliche girlboss. But she wasn't even likable there; she just felt like the token female character needed to add "diversity" to the group.

The character I would totally smooch: 

See my first answer. 💜

The character I’d want to be like: 

Probably Raph; minus the short temper, I'd love to have the skills he has and the undying love with an animal - be it Spike/Slash or Chompy. Plus, the sass. ❤️

The character I’d slap: 

Well, I already mentioned April, but I like her in season 1 so that saves her. And it's kind of a cliche choice to pick a villain, so let's pick someone that I've despised since the beginning - even when I was a dumb kid.

Casey.

Does he get better in later seasons? Yeah, I'd say so; he becomes less in your face and more...just annoying, but kinda like Mikey annoying where you can't hate him. But in season 2, I wanted to strangle him too - and admittedly, still kinda do. He's way too obnoxious for his own good, is way too gross in his flirting with April (he's not chauvinistic or anything, but you just roll your eyes a lot of the time), and doesn't back up his bragging or anything with actually being likable, unlike Raph.

So yeah, he's the one.

A pairing that I love:

If you asked me this when I was a kid, I would've said Apritello - April and Donnie. Now, I don't shame anyone if they ship them, but let's just say I way prefer my version in All's Fair in Love and Science (shameless self-promo 😅) where they love each other platonically and April shamelessly teases him about his crush on my OC, Andi.

But to answer, a pair that I love? Mikey and Renet, personally. She captures that inexperience as a Time Master wonderfully, and she never comes off like an idiot - she's just trying to find her footing. And Mikey's so in awe of her that it's kind of adorable. They both have that same kind of childish, free spirit that makes me just want to protect them. 😅🧡

A pairing that I despise: 

Okay, there are two.

One is the aforementioned Apritello. I used to like them as a kid, but watching it in hindsight is just cringeworthy. Don't get me wrong, I am all for Donnie having a crush (and admittedly, I'm a sucker for the love at first sight trope), but did they have to make it so forced and awkward? And I understand April feeling uncomfortable and not wanting to ruin their friendship about his feelings for her, but that's what communication is. And by not having that, she just kept leading him on and making him think he had a chance - only to either ignore him or just continue treating him like just a friend. It was so forced and awkward and...ugh.

And for the obvious - Leorai, Leo and Karai. Okay, who thought it was a good idea to imply that two siblings could have a romance - and have it be canon that one sibling had a crush on the other? Don't get me wrong, I love Karai; she's bar none my favorite female character in the show. And like I said, I love Leo - but the crush he had on Karai is what brings his character down for me. If they wrote him as impressed by her skills and seeing the good in her from a platonic point of view, it would've been sweet - and added another layer to Leo's character. But no, they went with the pseudo-incest perspective and made us all creeped out.

----------

Thank you for the ask, girl! ❤️

@kikithedreamerwriter @m1dnyt3-w0lf @margoteve @jasminarts01 @thelaundrybitch @raphsmuneca @happymoonangel @android-cap-007

[notthestarwar]

@starrrgazingbunny

#for loving jango#for relating in some ways#love is neutral i totally agree with that#u can love someone but still see the 'right' and choose the right ober the one u love#that doesn’t mean you didn’t love them enough#it means u loved them enough to not let yourself get lost/changed#i think healthy love is pretty rare?

This is it! Healthy love is 100% rare, its not the easy option no matter how much we wish it was. A lot of depictions of love leave us romanticising unhealthy love. Romanticising obsession really. I think the appeal of Jango is like. Every person has the ability to do what he did and jump totally off the deep end. Destroy yourself for a twisted version of what was once love but now doesnt even resemble it.

his story is totally relatable as soon as you ask yourself 'why is he like this'. like he's fully lost himself and i think theres something about that thats so intriguing. he's turned himself in to something terrible. something that he could never love, he is the kind of person that he would hate. he's so very human about it though. when you try to understand what made him in to that, you can totally see it! but at the same time you are like. but i dont understand. i wouldnt do what he did. he COULD have done better but he didnt. his life made him in to someone that never would have done the right thing, that always would have been his own worst enemy.

its an uncomfortable thought to think about the things a person could do, the things they could rationalise, if they lost themselves. if their life made them lose themselves. and i think the idea of that kind of pulls you in. especially because. with jango you look at him and you see a man whose really become his worst self and yet, there are still parts of him that ARE worth the trouble. like he was so bad for Boba but also. Boba spent those first years SO loved. the importance of that cant be downplayed.

theres something almost cathartic to me in exploring jango cause its like. even if you were your worst self, you are still worth knowing. and like at every corner with jango i see all these ways in which he could have done better but didnt and in each one of those its like 'no matter how badly you fuck up, you can always do the work and be better going forward'. the only thing that stops anyone from becoming a better person, is this apathy, this self hatred, that tells you you've done something you cant come back from. you cant change the past but you can not keep willfully making mistakes going forward. this is such a theme in star wars. its what we see in any jedi's fall. you CAN choose to be better.

so like i dont think its strange to relate to jango at all. he is relatable! he's relatable to anyone that isnt lying to themselves and insisiting the world is split in to good and bad people. there is the potential to be someone like jango in each of us, but as long as we remember that we CAN do better, and that there is no mistake that you cant come back from, you just have to TRY to be better and not forget that you can. jango did the worst so many times and still right until the end there was always a point where he could have chosen to do better, and his life would have been better for it. he's a cautionary tale pretty much. but yeah, of course theres something in him thats still lovable, even after everything he did. theres always something in a person that can be loved. you cant lose that any more than you can lose the ability to love. its always there even if its buried and forgotten about.

i think that everyone needs to be a fan of at least one 'bad' character. not everyone does get redeemed, thats life. not every mistake is forgivable. but theres something very character building in seeing a fictional character who is undeniably a 'bad person' and finding something in them you love anyway. the world isnt split in to good and bad people and sometimes you need to relate to a ficitional 'bad guy' to remind you of that. cause if you live your life convinced that you are a 'good person' and could never do any of the things that makes someone a 'bad' one? you're more likely to build on a mistake with another one, and hurt people in doing so.

people dont like to admit it. but sometimes it is harder to do the right thing. and loving people well is absolutely one of those things. thats what star wars is all about! anakin destroys himself in trying to 'save' padme, she never would have asked him to do that. and she dies for his love. the people that jango loved never would have asked him to destroy himself, a few million children, and the galaxy at large; for revenge. but he told himself they wanted that. because feeling hopeless is horrible. when faced with something awful human nature dictates that WE DO SOMETHING. but not everything can be fixed. loss and pain are an intrinsic part of life. you need to be ready to let go (and this is probably the greatest challenge in life for us all. we're not good at it! it goes against everything that we are. but you have to)

because not doing so, is a betrayal of the love you feel for them. an act of cruelty is still cruelty even if you're doing it for love. love isnt a good reason and if you let yourself believe that it is, you have the capacity to do unforgivable things. part of loving well is fighting against the (very human) desire, to betray yourself, the person you love, and the love itself in one fail swoop. love isnt innately good or bad. which means that cruelty in the name of love, can very easily taint it. love has the potential to be a force of good, but it can also fuel hate.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hello JALEBI, how r u doing?

Want to discuss something about Barun Sobti🌝We used to see him as a very fun loving guy, his face was so innocent that it seems he didn't understand the world yet at then. Bt now whenever I see any of his pictures, videos(which is rare) he looks tired,lifeless, I can't feel any joy in him. For me(may be I am over analyzing or something) it seems, he losts the willings for living on its full. He seems as a very numb guy now. I know there is many difficulties in this world which can change people totally bt this is really very sad to see him like this🙂

I want to share one more thing(which is actually pointless) that whenever I become tooooooo much lost into Arnav, Khushi's chemistry🥺, I unwilling start to blame Barun's wife🌚. My over thinking stupid mind likes to think that, Barun's wife was jealous of Sanaya and start to pressurize Barun to quit the show. Cz it's really very foolish reason which Barun used to give. He is an actor by profession so he can't quit or blame his job in order to spend more time at home. U know, bcz he have to go to the shooting today or tomorrow. So why he would want to quit a show which was so successful,otherwise to pacify her wife🙄. Or if it was a true excuse😒, then why he continues to be an actor bcz now he has a child also!!🔥Then my mind says that,does Barun's wife is the reason for his silent mood?!🙂

Person me, if my msg shows that I'm a terrible person🙃. It's midnight, and I can barely think rightly at this hour,just wanted to share these thoughs and clr my mind so sending u this msg. U surely can ignore this msg, if it's inconvenient.😞

Again sorry to bother you

From,

Smiley Anon😁

I don’t know where to begin. First of all I have a set strict rule that -

I do not discuss actors’ personal lives here

Second, you have to draw the line at parasocial relationship. “A parasocial relationship is a long-term attachment to a media figure (a blogger, an idol, or even a politician) based on what a person “knows” or understands about that figure over time. We develop parasocial relationships based on repeated interactions with these figures on social media or on television that make them seem relatable and accessible rather than far away from us “regular” people.”

This can be good or bad. The good is that the people who likes Barun’s/Sanaya’s works bond over loving those actors capabilities.

The bad is when someone assumes their life and marriage without even knowing them in real life.

Can you make a comment about Barun not keeping the best of appearances compared to his contemporary actors (for example Arjun Bijlani)? Sure, but-

(1) Barun is a normal human being who might be going through a plethora of things (the human body and mind are extremely unique)

(2) it’s none of our damned business to figure out why he doesn’t look the way he did ten years ago with makeup and good lighting.

Maybe he has aged? Maybe he hates posing for cameras so he always looks a bit uncomfortable? Maybe he just didn’t get sleep last night? Who knows and who cares?

Also I’m baffled at you heaping blame on his wife when he has been very vocal about just how much he loves her and that she’s been the most important person in his life. Like this isn’t even an assumption. In the little he has spoken it is evident how much his marriage means to him.

Yet to override what your favorite actor says to believe a twisted version of events is… sigh c’mon don’t do that. It’s the biggest way you can disrespect the actor tbh.

Also btw Barun was working 16-18 hours a day, daily, for two-three years by the end of ipk. It’s insane. Tv actors often fall ill due to these extreme working conditions!

What he did then is what we now call a mental health break (which is when people step back from their jobs/duties for the sake of themselves and their mental health). And Barun is neither the first nor the last one to do it. There’s Prince Harry, tennis superstar Naomi Osaka, Olympic human simone biles, global KPop sensation BTS, Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber, etc.

Also Deepika Padukone was diagnosed with depression at the height of her career.

These people have taken a pause from working because they were burned out.

Just like Barun was.

You can be curious as to how do stars get burned out, it’s their job right? Yeah but no job is fun when you don’t get a break.

Imagine being hours under hot lights, being sleep deprived and barely being home to sleep, memorizing pages after pages of lines on the day of shoot and then when you’re unable to deal with pressure you see fans commenting “oh his wife is the problem,”

I hope you have the sense to see the stupidity in this. Also burning out is an individual experience. Just because we can’t understand why a successful actor would leave a show, it doesn’t invalidate his reason!

He wanted to leave, he left. Period.

He loves acting, but not to the point where he doesn’t even see his family and is forced to play one damn character to its death.

Dude I’d give up writing fanfics if I was forced to write sixteen hours a day without a break for a year.

He got his break and he’s carefully choosing projects with proper time commitments (music videos, movies, web series).

TBH I don’t even know where this whole “blames the wife” comes from. If you love the actor, watch his interviews! He literally blames the crippled working system of TV.

Like it’s no surprise we’ve never gotten Barun and Sanaya to work together again simply considering this toxic discourse where his lovely wife is dragged in every now and then, although I don’t think it bothers them as they’ve plainly stated that multiple times.

Also he was 25/26 when he shot IPK. Trust me at that point everyone knows what the world is and they’re far from innocent. He was a fully grown man. Married with a few solid years of work experience. He knew the world well enough to prioritize his mental health and family over any money producers would throw at him.

There’s a very thin line on how to talk about the decisions you think actors are taking based on parasocial relationships with the said actors and I literally only replied to you because:

- you dismissed mental health

- you’ve been on my blog before and you’ve been very sweet

Anyways, I will not be engaging anymore in this kind of discussion.

I sincerely hope you won’t fall for these delusions any more. And if you truly love an actor, respect them. And respect includes respecting their choices and believing what they’re saying within a healthy line.

Too much of anything isn’t good. Not even IPK.

Hoping the best for you,

- jalebi

[hanafubukki]

Can I ask why does everyone like Grim? Not that I dislike or hate him but I’ve seen some people who absolutely love him and being besties w him and I’m just like ??? Did I miss the part where he became a total sweetheart? If anything I’m just used to his antics and knacks for trouble….

Genuinely tho, is it bc the eng does a poor job translating mc and grims relationship progress, or did I really miss the parts where he is a much better beast? All I can remember is the trouble he brings and the fact mc just goes w it…? Oh and then the part where he “attacks” us, tho ik it wasn’t really HIM but do to the stones he eats…

Hello Anonie 🌺🌻🌺

Of course you can ask anonie, and while I can't speak for others on why they like him so much, I can give my personal views.

Personally, I didn't like Grim very much in the beginning. I thought he was annoying to say the least, and didn't very much like how he would get MC into trouble along with the others, especially since it seemed early on most of the actions were taken by him to move the story forward rather than MC which I can understand since MC can't communicate all the time and someone else has too. But, it was getting annoying real quick how much trouble he would cause, but I guess as time went on, I got softer for him.

This is mainly because how others portrayed him and how they viewed him in fanfics and art that I started to change my mind. After all, Grim was one of your first companions in Twisted Wonderland and he very much parallels you.

He was the first one you met in twisted wonderland.

He has no ideas of any of the customs or backgrounds on this land.

He is alone as well and can’t recall where he came from.

He’s just trying his best to succeed and become strong.

He’s literally your partner in school as a 2 in 1 student.

He shows moments of companionship and softness towards MC.

At the end of the day, Grim is a friend and someone who is basically in the same situation as you.

Those are the reasons off the top of my head on why I started liking him more and more, but it doesn't mean I don’t want to sometimes shake him out of frustration or just keep his tuna away when he causes trouble.

Another reason why I started liking him more was because of book 6. I’m guessing from your ask that you are an EN Twst player only so I won’t expand further, but there are instances within the book where I started feeling softer for him and even sad. Basically, half the fandom went, “give my cat back right now.” 

I also think we all have a version of Grim in our heads as well, and how we perceive him that makes us like or hate (or both) him. I also know that his chaotic energy is attractive to some people and I know that some people just want to see him grow and see how he plays a part in the Prologue. He wants to be one of the greatest wizards and some want to see how he achieves it. 

I hope that helps anonie 🌺💕💚

[abalonetea]

Can I ask a kind of thinky GHD-adjacent question that's sort of more form than substance? I remember the original, and how it was sort of this fusion of cute and nice with dark and horror because of the 2 versions and glitches and all. Since, since then, you seem to have put a lot of work into more darker-toned and more horror-themed pieces, does that have an impact on the direction you think the eventual GHD rewrite might end up taking? (This is the part where I am hinting you should TOTALLY ramble about changes and tone and themes if desired). Also, would one expect more "these things start small and become more noticeable as we go until OOPS maybe things aren't so nice," or a jarring back and forth between the light and dark parts? (I think either would be fun there tbh).

Yes, you can! I love questions like this! Also nonny, you've been here that long, that makes me super happy to hear <3 I'm glad to still have you in the area!

Okay, so! I have definately been writing a lot more horror and crime stories recently, and even a lot of fantasy and modern-day pieces with a darker tone to them. It's been a lot of fun! And I actually put GHD on the back burner for a long time, because I wasn't sure whether I wanted to twist the new draft to match those darker, more horror-esque vibes.

Like, it's been on a solid year long haitus because I couldn't figure out whether I wanted to keep the lighter tone or not! And I've actually recently come up with an answer: yes, and no.

When I first started writing for GHD, the story didn't have a cemented plot on Locke's side of the world! As such, the first draft was a hot mess, it was so hard to sort through, for real. But as I started to grow in my writing, and then read over GHD, and explore other themes, and return to GHD, I realized that I already had the skeleton of the story that it was meant to be.

GHD is not meant to be the same as, say, Sun Touched. Sun Touched is the break down of a singular character; an up close look at someone who was never meant to be in a war suddenly being in a war. It has a lot of heavier themes to it (side eyeing Isaac's cigarette problem here, and I don't mean smoking them) and a very specific tone. I thought about it and... That's not GHD!

GHD is a dichotomy, and it's a story of hope. And it's meant to stay that way.

BUT I'm finally at a point with my writing where I can handle the nuances of the story more.

In the first few drafts, I tip toed around Fara Falls (the glitched dystopian world) a lot, because I wasn't sure how hard into the dystopia I wanted to lean. In the current draft, that's going to be a huge focus. We're going to look at the world and see exactly how Bolte ended up the closed off person that he is by the time the story starts. But more importantly, we're going to use it as a warning.

Fara Falls has always had EXP hunters, famines, food hoarding, fight clubs, and gangs. But in the current draft, it's going to be highlighted even more. The glaring danger of the world, the heavy burden on Bolte's shoulders, as well as both Celeste and Captain's stories. Neither of them are happy.

But then we're going to bounce to Locke's story, and it's going to remain the cute, soft, hopeful world that we've always seen. Locke is the embodiment of Hope. His world is, for the moment, still mostly good. The candy is still sweet, the bees are still buzzing, and... Locke's story is still one of Hope, but here's the thing, nonny, here's the thing.

Bolte's world has already fallen. But it's in such a state because of something that's about to happen in Locke's world. That's the key feature the first draft missed! So while Locke's story starts out as a venture of health and hope and healing, we soon realize that the world isn't as happy as it used to be, that the Queen is acting different, that there's something wrong.

There's going to be a tonal shift at the middle of the story. A sudden departure from the slice-of-life style at the start, shifting closer to the action before a brewing war. And it's never going to be as dark as Fara Falls and Bolte's journey, but we're going to be able to see the places where things could go wrong, where if left unchecked... Well, maybe Bolte's world makes a lot more sense now.

So, it's a jarring back and forth, and then a slight creep towards... Maybe the back and forth isn't so jarring after all.

[foxounderscorecube]

Halo: The Fall of Reach - Eric S. Nylund

3½ ⭐

I had a lot of fun reading this, but it feels a bit rushed. That's the short version!

My friend and I play video games once a week and we played through the Halo series - it was a childhood favourite of theirs, and I'd never played it before. I didn't expect to become SO invested in it!! I adore the series more than I could have anticipated - I'm not exactly a huge sci-fi person, usually.

As a result, having some background on the SPARTAN project and our good friend, John-117 (or as I call him, inventively, John Halo) was great. I found the timeline jumping around a bit confusing to begin with, but when I got used to it - or maybe when the story began to flow better, not sure if it was a me thing or the book - it was no issue.

I think John gets treated as a faceless everyman sooomewhat unfairly, generally speaking. He is deliberately a stand-in for the player, but I do enjoy the bit of personality we see in-game - his humour, his love for Cortana, and his complete dedication to whatever task he's given (which, in the context of, well, essentially his entire life, is really rather tragic). This book builds upon all of those things really brilliantly. The short version is that [slaps John on the back] this bad boy can fit SO much trauma!

The framing of the SPARTAN programme and the character of Dr. Halsey is really interesting. Although we see a lot of her perspective and that of the Spartans themselves, the story doesn't actually seem to excuse the moral awfulness itself. Hell, even Halsey sometimes wonders if what she's doing is right, but she strongly believes in what is ultimately a eugenicist's wet dream, especially when the conflict with the Covenant arises - even if that is serendipitous, honestly, and the Spartans were originally just to "calm down" rebellions on Reach and the human colonies. Her stand-in as a maternal figure for the Spartans is twisted but still sometimes manages to be endearing: she does genuinely love them all so much, but ultimately, they're a science project for her.

I do think one of my favourite aspects of the series is how UNSC and the Covenant are two sides of the same coin: totally different at first glance, but more similar than either faction would ever want to acknowledge.

Of course, all my ramblings aside, most of this book is cool sci-fi action stuff. The training of the Spartans is harsh and, through trauma and close proximity, they become bonded to each other in a way that's adorable and also really rather sad. The rest of the military think they're freaks - especially ODSTs, a hardcore branch of the Marines that all have the vibes of someone who'd wear one of those t shirts with a fiery skull on it and it says something like "Don't mess with a guy who was born in August, eats scrambled eggs for breakfast, and loves Dachshunds". They aren't exactly well-socialised because they're trained for nothing but combat and unwavering obedience to UNSC in the first place. It's no wonder only they can understand each other, and the action sequences show how they work together really well.

The issue with the book, as I mentioned briefly earlier, is that it feels a little rushed. There are stupid, stupid consistency errors that should have been smoothed in early editing, and the pacing can be kind of all over the place. When it's going, it's going, but there are lulls in the plot that didn't keep my attention so well. A little personal thing that I'd have liked, as well, is to have Covenant character perspectives - but I'm just a big fan of the aliens, so, you know.

For a fan of Halo, this is a good bit of backstory with a load of action and fleshing out of the characters we see in-game. Is it ground-breaking literature? No. But what did you expect from a Halo book, honestly.

[theheelerbooklifereads]

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cws72jxSGl8/?igshid=MWZjMTM2ODFkZg==

Thank you MacMillan Audio and NetGalley for the ALC in exchange for an honest review.

Rating: 4.25/5 Stars

Catherine Sterling thinks she truly knows her mother, Ruth, but when Catherine declares her intentions to move to Baltimore. Her mother will go to great lengths to keep her daughter from moving away and one way Ruth will go about this is to fake having Alzheimer’s. Catherine grows suspicious about her mother and ends up going down a spiral of learning her mother’s past, which just seem to be built up on lies.

✨✨Why I Read This Book✨✨

Back in December 2017, I ordered my first ever Book of the Month and that month one of their picks was The Wife Between Us by Sarah Pekkanen and Greer Hendricks. After reading that book, I fell in love with the thriller genre and the writing duo. But, over the years I started to fall out of love with thrillers due to the being predictable for me.

Since I loved the writing duo, I saw Sarah Pekkanen was coming out with Gone Tonight, I decided why not when I saw it on NetGalley.</br><br>I decided that I was going to go into this book with low expectations and I ended up rating this book 4 stars.

✨✨Plot✨✨

The plot of Gone Tonight does have remarkable similarities to other thrillers, but I found it to be executed well and I found it to not be predictable like many other thrillers I have read lately.

Also, this is a multi-pov book and we mostly follow Catherine and Ruth. Also, there is a dual timeline of Ruth’s past and then the present day. I personally enjoyed the past chapters due to finding it interesting to learn about Ruth’s secrets and how Sarah tries to make you feel for Ruth and her predicaments, which causes her to create all the secrets as well as the ways Ruth tries to shield Catherine from her past.

✨✨Characters✨✨

When it came to the mother and daughter relationship, I thought Sarah did well creating the love between these two, plotting the seeds of doubt, and then creating the tension for both characters.

I can totally sympathize with Ruth most of the time due to the nature of the situation that presents itself in the story. She becomes overbearing for Catherine in order to protect her from someone who we find out towards the middle of the book.

I enjoyed watching Catherine go about looking at her mother’s past to find the truth about her and her secrets. It was well done with the leads being followed.

There were times when Ruth mentions certain things about Catherine that we the reader do not pick up on about Catherine and its usually from the past or off screen, but with those things that were mentioned, I wish that could have been expanded upon.

✨✨Pacing✨✨

The pacing was for the most part fast paced, which I really enjoyed. It does have that buildup of the reason why the characters find something suspicious, the plotting seeds of doubts, and the discovery, but even though it has the buildup it still moves fast.

The only issue I found with it being fast paced is that towards the end with the book wrapping up, I felt like it was a bit rushed.

✨✨Final Thoughts/Recommendations✨✨

Overall, I really enjoyed Gone Tonight and am glad that I went into it with low expectations, and I think because of that it made me enjoy it. I was very much invested into Ruth’s secrets and what was going to happen when the discovery came out. I would not say the twist was a super surprising, omg twist, but it was still satisfying and did not leave for predictability. There were a few times while reading Gone Tonight that I kept thinking of the movie Where the Heart Is (stars Natalie Portman) due to what the teenage version of Ruth had to go through. The movie is actually referenced when Ruth talks about that time in her past.

If you are looking for a thriller that involves secrets from the past, an overprotective mother who just wants to protect her child from something in their past, fast paced, and where you do not know how it is going to turn out in the end, then this book is certainly for you. Also, if you have enjoyed Sarah Pekkanen and Greer Hendrick’s books, then you will like Sarah Pekkanen’s Gone Tonight.

[the-darklings]

You truly delivered. I’m sure a lot would agree that we had days to prepare for the angst in Chapter 8 but finally reading it is a totally different thing.

Poor Wanderer has sacrificed a lot for the Dreaming and to find Dream. The Wanderer Island part may have been the preview but damn, reading it again and with the whole thing was heart wrenching. The island looking for Wanderer and blaming Dream for what’s happened to it. Beloved Dream Lord, King of Stars, are you here to destroy me? “Never.” You already are.

And then we have Cori still staying at Wanderer Island despite it slowly dying because of Wanderer’s absence, and even scaring anyone who strays towards it to keep them away. Does the resentment Cori feels turns to hatred? He did watch his home slowly decay and the one person he cares about he can’t be with. And it’s all because of Dream.

Poor Edward Constantine. Didn’t see this one coming. Kinda imagining his looks to be that of John Constantine by the actor Matt Ryan. He waited for Wanderer, loved her so much he was willing to be with her despite the curse. At least Wanderer was there before he went with Death.

Wanderer becoming the guardian of the Dreaming and trying her best to give what little stability the realm could have without Dream. Even wearing Dream’s coat because she misses him.

I think the confrontation between Wanderer and Dream, and Wanderer and Corinthian, will have us undone. We all can’t wait for the next chapter.

Thank you so much!!! Really glad you enjoyed the chapter ❤

Wanderer Island is arguably one of the most poignant aspects of the entire story. Not only for its deep thematic messages in the story but also for being such a tangible representation of Dream/Wanderer's feelings towards one another. The Island's creation was the pivot point in their relationship - the point where it went from close companionship to more.

For Corinthian, the Island became his one last connection to the Wanderer, so as mentioned previously, to then have Dream come on the Island, acting regretful felt more like an insult when he caused the entire thing, when he's the one who spread the sickness due to his pride. I think Corinthian can't entirely escape his need to be what his creator intended him to be. Still, if Wanderer was guiding towards the best version of that, in the absence of that influence, it sours into resentment but buried deep a need to feel that connection again. It gets more and more twisted as the years pass, resulting in that premeditated, murderous intent.

As for Edward, yes, I also imagined him most like Matt Ryan's version of the character. The youngest sibling, always a little brash, a bit careless, but very talented. Then this strange, mysterious stranger drops into his life. Completely different to any other ladies he knows. Wild and brilliant and kind. Someone who tries to help no matter what. He was smitten from their very first adventure together. And until his last breath. I always imagined he was one of the very few Wanderer repeatedly saw, even if with significant time gaps in between, and gave him an even rarer gift of truth about herself and the curse.

Wanderer wearing Dream's coat was primarily inspired by a song on the tibyim playlist called "In This Shirt" and specifically lines: In this shirt, I can be you // To be near you for a while. She's not wearing it because she's trying to play the part. She's wearing it because it's the closest she can get to Dream anymore. Because she's spent centuries keeping that black coat in her line of sight, and now it's all that's left.

[metalandmagi]

Winter 2021 Anime Worth Watching!

Since 2020 basically sacrificed itself to give us the most stacked anime season of all time, I’m currently buried under the weight of almost 20 shows airing per week. So for anyone who’s looking for some anime to watch this winter, here’s some first impressions! I’m speed running my list this time by only talking about the new shows...because otherwise this would be my great American novel. 

If anyone’s interested, I have master lists for both 2020 anime and 2019 anime, because there’s no shortage of fun things to find. 

New Shows!

And before anyone asks, So I’m A Spider, So What? isn’t on here, because CG spiders freak me out.

Cells At Work Code Black: This...less comedic spin off of Cells At Work (made by a different studio) takes the wholesome concept of Osmosis Jones meets cute anime girls and turns it on its head. In this much more depressing version, we follow a rookie red blood cell who works in the body of an overly stressed, alcoholic smoker who puts every strain on the body imaginable. I love Red Blood Cell AA2153 and his co-workers, but man am I glad we get the regular Cells At Work airing this season too, because I need something fun and uplifting after seeing my sweet son go through hell every episode. 

*Heaven’s Design Team: Have you ever wondered how God came up with some of the weird ass animals that live on this planet? Like, what’s the deal with giraffes? And why can’t we have dragons and flying horses? Well this is a comedy about the engineers and designers in heaven creating the new animals that are going to inhabit the Earth. That’s it, that’s the show. It’s kind of in the same vein as Cells At Work, having comedy blend with a surprising amount of educational information. If you want something light and funny, this is the show for you (though I don’t think it needs to have full length episodes). I’m just hoping there’s an episode about how the hell the platypus was created. Also it’s the only new one available on Crunchyroll.

Horimiya: A romantic comedy about a girl named Hori who fits the image of a perfect queen bee and a quiet bespectacled boy named Miyamura who never makes an impression at school. When the two meet by chance outside of the classroom, we see that Hori is practically raising a younger brother by herself, and Miyamura is actually a sweet guy who happens to be covered in tattoos and piercings. This show is an exercise in breaking down the images people have of others in their minds, and it’s a concept that really hits home in a fun and meaningful way. Honestly, this has become one of my immediate favorites. The characters have great chemistry, and I can’t wait to see more of them!

Monster Incidents (Kemono Jihen): When big shot Tokyo detective Inugami is called to a rural town to investigate a series of strange animal deaths, he finds a mysterious boy with the nickname Dorotabo who has been shunned by the other children in town. As the detective gets closer to Dorotabo, he discovers that there may be more...inhuman secrets to the boy than he realizes...and Dorotabo discovers that Inugami has some secrets of his own. This is a hard show to sell without spoiling the first episode, but it had twists and turns that kept me engaged from start to finish. I’m really interested to see where the plot goes, because I thought this was going to be something totally different just from the PV and series summary. If it plays its cards right, this could be a great paranormal detective show!

Wonder Egg Priority: A psychological drama about a girl named Ai who starts having dreams about a mysterious egg that promises to give her what she wants most in the world...a true friend. Before long, she begins to see how the dream world and reality are tied together, and trippy antics ensue. It’s hard to say more without spoiling anything, but I had to go back and add this one in because I made the mistake of thinking it was an OVA when it’s actually a full series. And what a series it’s starting out to be. This anime has all the psychological discomfort of a Satoshi Kon product with the beauty and style of something from Kyoani (even though it’s made by Clover Works). It’s really one of those anime you just have to see to understand.

Sk8-∞ (Skate the infinity): An original skateboarding anime from Bones, featuring a typical sports anime protagonist who takes a new transfer student who has never skateboarded in his life under his wing. Together they compete in dangerous races and take the skating community by storm. The character designs rival Appare Ranman’s in outlandish creativity, and I can smell the main characters’ ship dynamic a mile away (considering they’re exactly the same as the protagonists from Robihachi). If you’re looking for some wild and crazy fun with top notch skateboarding animation, don’t skip this!

2.43: Seiin Koukou Danshi Volley-bu (Seiin High School Boys Volleyball Club): Yes, it’s another volleyball anime. And no, it’s not just a clone of Haikyu. This story follows Yuni Kuroba, a physically built but emotionally weak teenager who finds out his childhood friend Hajime is moving back to their hometown for high school. Yuni discovers Hajime has become an exceptional volleyball player and they join their school’s volleyball club hoping to turn the unknown team into a rising star. If anything, this anime is much more like Stars Align or Free, where the sport is a backdrop for letting the characters explore their personal problems. Or at least it seems that way after the first episode. I went into this show ready to throw it in the trash because how could anything compete against my beloved Haikyu, but I found myself really enjoying the dynamics of the main duo and I’m curious to see what the rest of the team is like.

And speaking of sports anime rip-offs…..I can’t believe I’m including this but…

Skate Leading Stars: The show where the animators clearly wanted to design another throw away idol anime but saw how popular Yuri On Ice was so they decided to make whatever the hell this show is instead. It revolves around a fictional team sport called skate leading, and we follow the world’s most insufferable main character, a former figure skater named Kensei who wants to return to the ice and join his school’s skate leading team after he finds out his childhood rival is going to compete in the sport. Look, this show is just trashy enough to get a certain type of audience hooked, and it mainly has to do with the best boy of the winter season, Hayato Sasugai, the aspiring team “coach” who pulled most of us into watching this show with his punk appearance, snide comments and smug personality. He’s basically the lovechild of Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima in a high school sports anime setting. The show treats itself with the perfect amount of sincerity to get away with being absolutely ridiculous most of the time without making you feel like you’re watching it from a dumpster...like Try Knights. You will know after one episode whether this show is for you. All I can say is, Hayato is worth the watch, and I haven’t seen any 3D animation used for the skating scenes (yet) so that’s a win for me. 

Honorable mention:

Jobless Reincarnation ( Mushoku Tensei): Yet another isekai where the main character is hit by a car (big surprise) and gets reincarnated into a fantasy world...but he happens to remember his previous life and narrates himself growing up as a jaded adult. I’m only including this because it looked amazing animation wise, and I love the opening where getting hit by a car and dying is actually traumatic. And I love the protagonist’s parents (who are retired adventurers who just want to bang all the time). But honestly...the main character is the fucking worst, and I don’t know if I want to keep watching it because of how creepy and weird he is. Like...he’s the hit on your fantasy mom as a baby kind of creepy and weird. But for anyone who wants a cool looking isekai that had an amazing PV, it’s worth checking out. 

Continuing Series!

Because the real gold of the season is in all the established anime getting their next seasons, I’m just going to list some of the things that are also amazing and definitely worth checking out if you haven’t already (because I’ve already talked about most of them at some point and don’t know what else to say).

Attack On Titan season 4

The Promised Neverland season 2

Beastars season 2

Log Horizon season 3

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime season 2

Re: Zero season 2 (second cour)

Dr. Stone season 2

Cells at Work season 2

Osomatsu-san season 3 (second cour)

Higurashi New (second cour)

Jujutsu Kaisen (second cour) 

Not to mention all the shows I don’t watch that everyone else loves...like World Trigger (which I have seen quite a bit of, but long shounen shows are too much for me now) Quintessential Quintuplets, and Non Non Biyori. 

So there’s just some of all the anime airing this season. Hopefully, someone can find something they like. Here’s to a great year...well, of anime at least...

[inglorious-purpose]

Loki and trauma

One major shortcoming of the Loki show is the framing of his motivations and personality. In episode 1, Mobius asks Loki “why do you do what you do?” and Loki admits that he hurts people because he sees himself as weak, and thinks that violence is the only way he can attain power. Although Mobius seems to see Loki’s potential for goodness, at various points in the series Loki is presented as an arrogant, spoiled princeling who has betrayed his loved ones because of his narcissistic self-absorption. He’s reduced to little more than a one-dimensional, power-hungry villain (albeit with a bit more self-awareness than your average bad guy).

However, those of us who’ve watched the 2011 Thor movie way too many times know that Loki is far more nuanced; his villainy comes from a place of self-loathing and family trauma. Kenneth Branagh, Tom Hiddleston, and the writing team for Thor1 created a compelling, sympathy-inducing origin story for Loki, which is largely ignored in the Disney+ show. In Thor1, before he learns of his Jotun heritage Loki is self-effacing and even meek, unable to stand up to either Thor (”know your place, brother!”) or Odin (”Eeeaarghh!!”). (If anyone in that family is a narcissist, it’s Odin ... but that’s a subject for another post.)

Loki feels like an outsider in his own family, and when his adoption comes to light, he discovers to his horror that his otherness is quite literal. Many fans sympathize with Loki precisely because his trauma stems from the perception that he’s an outcast. Those of use who struggle to fit in with our family, our social group, or society in general -- whether due to LGBT+ issues, a toxic or abusive parent or sibling, or cultural/political differences -- understand Loki’s brokenness in a way that is difficult, if not impossible, for people who have never experienced this sort of agony.

Loki’s treachery and penchant for betrayal is essentially a bad coping mechanism on steroids. In the Loki series, Mobius’ so-called “therapy” session forces Loki to take a hard look at himself -- which is a necessary first step on his path to heroism -- but never addresses the root cause of his problems. In order to become the best version of himself, Loki must face the self-hatred that underlies his insecurities, come to terms with his past, and figure out who he wants to be going forward. While the Loki series skirts close to this -- Loki comes to admire Sylvie, who is ostensibly another variant of himself -- the message stumbles due to the romantic undertones (romantic love is a very different beast than self-love; the metaphor simply doesn’t work) and problematic framing (Mobius calls their relationship “sick and twisted”; Sylvie mostly treats Loki with contempt and yeets him through a time door when he no longer serves her needs). By the end of the finale, Loki has become the voice of reason against Sylvie’s self-centered revenge quest, but his own pain and trauma haven’t been dealt with.

By glossing over the tragic circumstances of Loki’s fall from grace and depicting him simply as a selfish brat, the show’s creators discarded the very things that make Loki such a beloved and relatable character. Instead of truly delving into his psyche and allowing him the compassion to heal, the show punches down hard -- sometimes literally. His love interest barely returns his affection before finally betraying him; his one “friend” vacillates between avuncular and sinister in the first four episodes and never apologizes for being a dick. Aside from a few tender moments, Loki is more often than not bullied, humiliated, and scoffed at. At the end of it all, Loki may have made some progress toward feeling like less of an outcast, but his connections with others seem tenuous at best.

Perhaps the gravest error committed by Loki’s family in Thor1 (and the following films, for that matter) was their total disregard for Loki’s mental welfare. He was just expected to roll with the whole adoption thing, be cool with Odin’s favored treatment of Thor, and keep a stiff upper lip when Thor’s friends gave him the side-eye for sitting on the throne (which Frigga actually told him to do, and deleting that scene was some bullshit). Yet in his own show, Loki’s well-being is once again neglected as he endures his “character growth,” whether that be kneeling and begging Sif for mercy, or showing an enormous capacity for forgiveness when Mobius finally lets him out of the torture time loop chamber. (Wow, someone stopped trying to actively hurt him! New friend opportunity!) (To be fair, Sylvie does ask at one point if he’s ok, but a few minutes later she watches with no visible concern as he’s pruned by Renslayer in the Time Keepers’ chamber. Does she really care? Meh.)

Loki’s tribulations are played for laughs, which works (and I’m using the term “works” very loosely) only if we ignore his prior trauma. Casual MCU fans may find this acceptable. However, those of us who identify with Loki’s tragic backstory are more apt to find these scenes truly disturbing.

[sepublic]

Odalia and Alador in the Future...

           I know we joke about Alador being the distracted of the two, while Odalia is the one who keeps him focused…

           But sometimes, it’s the other way around? While Odalia is busy freaking out over her short-term sales for the Abomaton 2.0, over the idea of losing her control over Amity; It’s Alador who’s instead paying attention to what REALLY matters, to the true takeaway from this night! We can see him gauging Amity’s power with increasing, cautious fascination as his mental gears begin to turn- Before he’s openly impressed!

           And, Odalia being the more distracted of the two at times is kind of poetic… She’s more focused on things like personal pride, about immediate money and profit (like any capitalist who razes the environment for short-term riches), and her own desire for total control. 

          She’s so distracted by things that she, frankly, doesn’t really need- Whereas Alador? He knows that all he needs is for his kids to be powerful- It’s likely why Emira and Edric can get away with being mischievous, because it’s easier for him to let them be that way, and Alador already has what he wants; Strong children.

           The same applies to Amity here- Odalia is focused on things that ultimately won’t make a difference when it comes to their standing, but Alador is pushing that aside to notice and focus on how Amity’s growing power is useful to them. He’s not just making the most of a bad situation, Alador’s arguing that this is actually a GOOD situation, even better than what Odalia had initially planned!

           Which, Odalia’s vision is a lot more straight-forward and at times lofty, she is an Oracle; So it makes sense that she’d get so preoccupied with her own visions, and forget to notice her own surroundings. It’s a neat parallelism between her and Alador, that their attention is split on different things, so when they combine, the two of them can take into account everything they need… 

          Neat, but also a terrifying synergy. In a way they both have a tunnel vision that causes them to focus on what they only care about; Al with pragmatic things and Abomination magic, Odalia with her personal pride and control, her wealth, etc.

           In a way, it really is twisted, Alador’s happy smile as he appreciates his daughter’s power… Because in the end, he WANTS Amity to be strong, and he’s willing to do whatever’s necessary to make her become more powerful! Alador’s realizing, he’s being validated, that his and Odalia’s academic abuse of Amity, forcing her to focus on her grades, has worked- But not only that…

           Odalia accuses Amity’s friends of distracting her, but it’s Alador who realizes that it’s the opposite- They help her focus. They help Amity focus her emotions, dedicate herself to something she truly wants and believes in- Luz, Willow, and Gus help Amity focus on what really matters, the way Odalia and Alador help each other focus their own priorities in a sense, which fits with Luz and Amity being in mutual love for one another really…

           And instead of passively letting others decide for herself, Amity can actually think about and consider her own life and future! She’s actually focusing on her own future, the way Odalia is obsessed with her own Oracle magic and visions and plans… Amity’s become a lot more proactive and stronger for it, she’s grown… Like her father, Amity is also a kid who just kind of wants to be left alone and not bothered, and be happy with herself- And like Alador, Amity has found someone, Luz, who’s able to help her really think about the future the way her mother would…

           In a way, Luz helps Amity self-actualize into basically a better version of her own parents, she’s not a mindless drone like some might perceive Alador to be- In a way, she’s becoming more like her mother, albeit in a (somehow) good way? Thinking of herself for once, thinking ahead and about what she wants. It’s funny that Odalia tries so hard to force Amity to become like her, when all Amity needs is freedom and friends to self-actualize in that sense, to also be ‘focused’, to have her passion and skill channeled towards something so she can make the most of it;

          And Alador has figured this out, that Amity’s friends can easily make her what her parents want to be, but better and more efficiently, without any effort from Odalia and Alador. Which… Doesn’t bode well; Because Al’s perspective on the situation is basically him acknowledging to Odalia that, hey, a living hostage is better than a dead one.

          And his ‘compassion’ is purely pragmatic, in recognition that people who are happier tend to do better in life anyway. If making Amity miserable would make her stronger, I have little doubt that Alador would support and encourage Odalia to make their daughter’s life a living hell.

           Alador isn’t acting out of compassion, he’s only doing what brings HIM and Odalia what they want, and he doesn’t really care what it is, unlike Odalia- He’s not much of a picky chooser. And if he knows that Amity would move mountains for Luz and the others, it’s making me consider the possibility of Alador deliberately weaponizing this to his own advantage, perhaps outright threatening Luz, Willow, and Gus, using them as motivation for Amity to unleash her potential to protect them…

           That’s concerning me- That Alador is realizing that the best way to control Amity isn’t directly, but through her friends… It’s through Amity’s friends that him and Odalia can make Amity work for them, so of course it’s imperative to keep and maintain and encourage that connection, rather than removing it entirely. So, Al reminds Odalia of this, that Amity’s friends are good for her and more importantly THEM…

           With what Dana said about how the couple can appear one way, but are also another, and how this can be good or bad for the protagonists… Honestly? With how Odalia can fake being civil and amicable with Luz initially, I wouldn’t be surprised if Odalia and Alador started being openly agreeable with Luz, Willow, and Gus… Welcoming them, maybe even apologizing for past treatment (Al would really have to needle Odalia to do that), trying to establish good relations with them!

           They’re not doing this out of real respect of the trio, more respect for power and opportunity. And I can see Luz, Willow, and Gus being confused at first- Did Odalia and Alador become better people? And Amity, Emira, and Edric are privy enough to warn them that no, their parents are probably only being nice because they have something to benefit from…

           But still, I could see Odalia reworking her view of Luz and the others as useful assets to manipulate Amity with and make her stronger- So she ends up adopting this more charitable, amicable fondness for the trio, as people who have made her life so much easier and removed the burden of needing direct control… And of course, Odalia might hold a minor grudge, but she really is grateful in a very detached and superficial sense towards the trio; Welcoming them into Blight Manor, treating them as beloved guests… But only because she’s fascinated for what they can bring her.

           Luz, Willow, and Gus might be able to maneuver that to their advantage, too, as a business deal of sorts- It seems Odalia and Alador might have their own issues with the Emperor’s Coven, if the Golden Guard’s words are any indication. If they can convince the two that going against Belos is in their best interests, then Odalia and Alador might just listen, especially if they see Luz and the others as assets to rely upon, to figure things out- Ultimately just using them, but still. Like any good Oracle, Odalia is figuring out her next course of action, and she’s using these kids as a means to do so…

           But of course, to Odalia and Alador, they’re using Luz and the kids, as much as Luz and the others would use them. So this mutual business connection could very easily backfire and turn against Luz and the others, especially if Odalia and Alador have THEIR own ideas on how to use Amity’s friends to their benefit.

           Odalia and Alador would be dangerous and hard to figure out- Should Luz risk it and try to make use of them? Or should she only approach them as enemies… Maybe both- Be privy to circumstances, and recognize when to use Odalia and Alador as allies, and when to leave them out of the loop, or oppose them! Luz might take advantage of her ‘usefulness’ to Odalia and Alador to bargain with… And the two of them might try to increase that connection with Amity to their own benefit! Arranged marriage, anyone?

           Seriously, though… Alador only helped Amity because she became stronger, and a strong daughter was all he cared for. He’s the kind of dude who would impassionately make Amity’s life a paradise, or an agonizing torture, depending on which option yielded the most results- The ends justify the means, he doesn’t really care either way. It’s kind of twisted that he gets what HE always wanted and abused Amity for…

           And through Alador, Odalia gets her happy ending this episode too? He helps Odalia realize that she didn’t necessarily lose this episode- She also got what she wanted, she also won? So it really is messed up that while Luz and Amity managed to win against the parents… Odalia and Alador still achieved a victory of their own, and it makes me wonder if, again, Luz and Amity will have to figure out how to navigate Odalia and Alador in a way that results in the two kids making it out alive. Will they help or hinder the Blight parents? One option might be better than the other, and it’s all about playing their cards right.

           In the end, Luz and Amity didn’t totally take down Odalia and Alador- Those two still got THEIR happy ending as well, by hitchhiking off of Luz and Amity’s. But of all people, the Golden Guard arguably undoes that- Because now Odalia and Alador are being forced to work for Belos and devote all of their resources and effort towards his goals… And with this being a very tenuous position, Odalia and Alador could be swayed by Luz to act against Belos, but they could also think about using Luz to prop up Amity for their own takeover!

           Luz and Amity could get what they want, but still play into Odalia and Alador’s hands. So, like Odalia, they’ll have to question- Is it more important to take down their enemy… Or let their enemy benefit for a greater picture? Alador convinced Odalia that her revenge was second to Luz’s usefulness, so let Luz win and live and be happy! 

          For Luz and Amity, I imagine it might be easier for them to let Odalia and Alador have their little victory, because who cares- They’re not motivated by petty spite nor prejudice. As long as the two are happy together, who cares what happens to Odalia and Alador, good or bad?

           So, they might just help Odalia and Alador with their situation, help them out of Belos’ grasp… But carefully, because if an opportunity arrives; Then Odalia and Alador could easily use this to bring in Luz and Amity, and earn Belos’ favor. 

          Will they go along with the plans to supplant the head of the Abomination Coven- Having that position could help with the rebellion, especially if Rayne also helps as head of the Bard Coven! Or is that too risky, will Amity put herself in a situation where she must do terrible things for Belos for his trust and as a coven head, things that might prove more detrimental in the long run… 

           It really is a risks and benefit, cost analysis scenario, very befitting the Blights as business people. Luz and Amity will have to be careful, because Odalia and Alador could just as easily be one of their best assets, or their worst hindrances, and vice-versa… Shall they take advantage of Odalia and Alador’s close work with Belos to spy and influence, or try to reverse that? 

          We know with Lilith in Young Blood, Old Souls that Luz may not like someone’s deal, but she’ll put that aside to work for a greater good, because sometimes the ends DO justify the means! And on Amity’s part, I can see her understandably not wanting to work with her parents in any way or form, with Luz being understanding enough to do this entirely on her own;

          And maybe Amity gets herself roped in to protect Luz, or even, she might take issue with Luz working with her parents behind her back- Possibly because she justifiably resents her parents still and doesn’t want to help them at all, and/or she was hoping Luz would trust and respect her enough to be transparent. Which, Luz would normally be... But with pressure and concern about Eda and other matters, Luz might make a deal with the devils behind Amity’s back that upsets her. We’ll just have to wait and see...

          And of course, how will Belos handle Odalia and Alador himself? Will he be privy to Luz’s own plans and designs, and might he decide that the best way to deal with Blight Industries as a liability, besides making it work for HIM instead, is to simply… Do away with it entirely, and its owners’ lives?

[winter-tospring]

Lan Zhan was just this wee little thing, all shy and reserved and sticking to the rules, and cold because how do you approach other people your age who totally aren't cold like you? You follow the rules so you make your uncle happy. Bury your grief in it. Until this little rebel comes in and shakes everything, except he's not just rude and bold, he's also smart, very smart, way too smart that it's puzzling and interesting. Attractive. He can fight. He's cheeky and it's genuinely annoying because he's trying to break the coldness of you- which you can't let happen- but he's also perceptive, curious, intelligent. He asks a lot of questions. Too many, and too personal, but sometimes, a lot of the time, he asks questions that no one bothers asking. Questions no one would have thought to ask. Intelligent, and thoughtful, in an umprompted but surprisingly comforting way. Someone cares enough to ask about him now. Even if he doesn't want to answer, and wish his face wasn't visible to Wei ying after he asks some of those questions, he thinks about them at night. He thinks about them when he's supposed to let thoughts go adrift and meditate.

Wei Ying wished to be able to help commonfolk and stay true to himself. He is so sincere it cracks open something in Lan Zhan. From there, he wants to reach out to him. He's tied to him now. The stares grow longer without even noticing. He is fascinating; it quiets a heart that for years he only pretended was calm. When he becomes aware of it, the coldness reappears to save face. Bursts of them, flushes to mask what's held underneath that's only starting to be understood, but is felt so strongly. There are less thoughts than feelings, except maybe "You have figured out so many things right, I wish the world could cherish the ingenuity and kindness of you." Protecting him has become his nature. Wei Ying follows him everywhere, and as much as he pretends to be annoyed by it, it's nice. It's better to be with him than to be alone. A melody was composed one day ; he won't say, but it's for them. That's what he sings when Wei Ying asks for comfort. Us; we are the softness in this rough side of the world.

But they dump Wei Ying in the dark, and fly past his reaching hands. He survives but had to become another version of himself. When he comes back, something gets lost, but by then, Lan Zhan knows him well, better than anyone. He remembers. A spark was snuffed out, and talking to the survived is like trying to revive the joy he once rolled his eyes at. Gripping it with both hands tighter than he'd hold Bichen. Gripping until tears would fall. Sorry that I didn't show enough, how precious your smile was when it was still genuine. Now it sends me into a panic, the smirks you give before walking into plans that harm you. He's all twisted up in his feelings, desperate to help, desperate to see him free again. They have you in shackles, but what other choice did you have? The irony that you had to become your own prisoner to be with us again. He can tell there's probably not long until he truly breaks. Which of these caused the most mistakes: silence, or the words I said when terror suffocated me?

It's love. He recognizes the fears bound to it. Love is the reason they're so big. I have to tell you, even if with a blank look in my eyes; I would spend my life next to you, if you wanted the same. It's so fragile to want so much. It isn't fully known until Wei Ying leaves for what he assumes will be forever. Longing for so long haunted by what feels inescapable. He'd adopt his kid, he'd buy all the food they need, he'd get his hands dirty to try growing from the dead with him.

And then he loses him for good, slips right from his hand. No amount of screaming is enough. The pain does not belong to time or space. He dissents, for him; he stands in the shelter Wei Ying built, and with the rest of his strength and rage, guards it for as long as his body lets him. His back is marked with violence, and all he thinks about is what he'd give to receive the forbidden touch on his forehead again. The practicality of disregarding the sacred, when it's to help each other.

One piece of Wei Ying's life is saved, so he takes him to Gusu like he'd wanted Wei Ying, dedicates his years to caring for him like a father, protecting the last bit of innocence from Wei Ying's world that still exists. It hurts each time but he sees Wei Ying in his laughter, in the sweetness of his eyes. If there was a second chance, he would make sure all can see how wanted Wei Ying is, how much nothing else matters more than Wei Ying.

And a second time comes. It's the song he wrote, the only person who would know is him. Every moment now is a treasure brought back from the pits of hell. They learn together with new understanding, trust deepening, their lives in each other's hand. He will be held like never before. I started choosing myself the day I realized i could really lose you; it was my fault; I waited too long to stop worrying about anyone else more than about you. But I know now. I know how to spend all my time. He knows him, fully, and loves him, without restraint. The rules stopped applying after a while. He stands next to him in front of the world, without shame, without fear, without anything worse to lose than who he is protecting. The past has done too much damage for him to make any more regrets. The cold appearance of the beginning is reserved for those threatening Wei Ying. Wei Ying gets softer smiles, more often, gratitude, and relief, undescribable to be able to stare at his favorite person again. And all the touches Lan Zhan missed, he makes sure Wei Ying doesn't have time to miss them now. He's never been more sure of anything than how right this is.

[thequibblah]

I’m kinda surprised by the dark James discourse. Obviously, everyone is totally valid in their feelings and reactions. Certain versions of deatheater!James have not been my cup of tea in the past but why is a reluctant DE James is the bridge too far for some people when it seems like par for course for the fandom? Fics involving DE ships are consistently the most popular in the HP fandom (Dramione, Drarry, Tom/Harry) and the biggest Marauders’ WIP right now has James cheating on his pregnant girlfriend with a Deatheater. Like yeah it’s all problematic if it was real life but it’s fiction. I would love your perspective if I’m missing something.

Sure! If I wanted to read a death eater love interest as you mentioned, I’d be a fan of those ships. I’m not. I’m not here for that. I’m here for Order members. Par for the course for the Harry Potter fandom is not the same in each niche at all. Personally I have never cared about or run into darkfic until last year, when it entered the community’s discussion spaces and IMO popped into the mainstream — i.e. written by extremely popular authors, read widely, recommended on jilyarchive (IIRC???), and fairly represented in awards nominations. Let me be absolutely clear, I am well aware there is stuff I would hate all over AO3. My discomfort is when becomes impossible for me to ignore.

The reluctant Death Eater as a character cutout personally makes me extremely wary. First, I’m not really interested in stories where a so-called “reluctant” member of a hate group (surely we can agree this is what Voldemort’s followers are?) is shown the light by a marginalised woman. Big “I can fix him” vibes, when in reality the “right woman’s love” does not “turn” anyone. You change if you want to change. Nor am I interested in reading morally anguished lust — never have I ever felt shamefully attracted to someone who (pressured or not!!!!) has thought of me as less-than or hurt people like me. And that is in everyday life, where the stakes are certainly not as high as murder or torture.

Now, specifics: it seems especially twisted to write James this way. I’ve been in this fandom on Tumblr for ten years and I remember the days we used to actively argue with Sn*ly fans (😭😭😭). We spent ridiculous amounts of time on James’s sense of honour, on his aversion to the Dark arts, on those being the reasons — and rightfully so! — Lily fell in love with him. I fail to see how ANY kind of DE James is not Sn*pe. I fail to see how James, who became an Animagus for his best friend, would not fight tooth and nail against an institution that would turn him into a weapon. I fail to see how James, who was a brother to Sirius, would side even nominally with the people Sirius ran away from. I fail to see how James, who made a fucking magical map of Hogwarts, would not find a way to join the resistance. That’s so far from the James I know and love that I am not interested in what boils down to an OC with his name slapped on it. And that’s not even touching on the jarring unreality of his position as the wealthy heir of a well-known, pro-Muggle pure-blood family still somehow…not being protection and privilege enough that he must join in genocide?

Further, even if James is truly dragging his heels in this, I do not see Lily falling for him at all. It does her a disservice and imo insults her sense of dignity. If she could drop her best friend at the age of 16 for calling her a slur, she can resist the charms of someone turning weapons on people like her. I am not interested in these stories, where a young woman is faced with brutal prejudice on all fronts and has to deal with the violence of it even from her love. I find it distasteful to revel in that so-called angst.

Finally — I don’t believe there is any possibility of nuance in a romance-centric fanfiction that explores a story like this. Because we as readers, and certainly the author as a shipper, thinks they’re soulmates! So…if they’re soulmates, he loved her all along, right? If they’re soulmates, he didn’t mean anything by it, right? If they’re soulmates, she has to forgive him, right, because she loves him. There is no way it cannot be romanticised. There is no atonement that feels earned because in the reader’s eyes he doesn’t have to atone for anything, really — he’s loved her all along and surely James and Lily have a love that conquers all!

It reeks of apologia. Not interested in fic like that about my ship that centres personal growth and maturing, and kicking Voldemort’s mouldy ass. In any universe.

I don’t think the implications of this can be restricted to just fiction and I think the stated discomfort of fans based on personal marginalisation proves that. We don’t write in a vacuum. We can’t claim to love the antifascism of canon or express distaste for Sn*pe’s flawed love for Lily and then turn around and act surprised when our own writing — again in the MAINSTREAM, I don’t care about what’s written far from the centre of this fandom and easy to ignore — is hypocritical and hurts people because of it. We can’t extol fanfiction’s powerful themes and talk about what fic has taught us and made us think about and then say “oh it’s just fiction” when it suits us. If it’s moved you so much clearly words have impact.

Again let me underscore this: this hurts people. Drives away fans and creators. You would not believe the specific writers and fans who feel sad and upset and discouraged and again, WANT TO STOP WRITING AND INTERACTING HERE because of this.

That to me is why this is a very clear line in the sand.