#and maybe later do some writing if my brain wakes up

[thefreakandthehair]

I just wanna see that smile

wc: 1.1k | tags: canon-compliant injury/recovery, hospital setting, getting together, (brief and inferred mutual) pining, first kiss

a/n: happy (belated) birthday to my pal, @firefly-party! kei drew this piece last year and it was one of the first artworks we talked about when we became friends. this series has continued to live in my brain ever since, so I decided to write a little something in the universe!

Eddie woke up on March 26th, 1986 and Steve’s waited patiently for this moment ever since. 

Well, patient is a misnomer— he’d waited quietly to anyone not named Robin or Dustin. Robin, because she knows him too well and there’s no point in trying to hide anything from her and Dustin, because he’d apparently grown up overnight and pieced together that Steve sitting at Eddie’s bedside and holding his fucking hand every time he waltzed into the room meant something. 

Or maybe it was when Steve gave Eddie all of his rings back, sliding them carefully onto his shaking fingers with a comforting smile. 

Or maybe when Eddie sat up unassisted for the first time and Steve nearly hit the ceiling, bracing him in a panic as if all of his stitches and staples would burst with the tiny movement he’d been working toward in physical therapy. 

Hell, maybe it was Steve taking over some of Eddie’s care for himself, washing his hair and braiding it because the staff at Hawkins Memorial are doing nothing more than the bare minimum to make sure they don’t get sued, or even more frightening, reamed out by the new duo of Hopper and Wayne again. Either way, his hair was making Steve’s own scalp itchy. 

Dustin never tells Steve what it was exactly that tipped him off but whatever it was, it’s enough for Dustin to give Steve the floor when Eddie’s getting ready to discharge back home. And that’s how, exactly two months later to the day from Eddie waking up, Steve enters Eddie’s otherwise empty room armed with a special treat in the form of milkshakes to find Eddie pouring over an unfortunately familiar stack of papers. 

“NDA?” Steve asks, nodding at the papers in Eddie’s lap. He’s upright, fully dressed in the black sweatpants Jeff brought by and a cut off Metallica tee shirt, bandages around his stomach and neck. 

Eddie mutters as he reads under his breath, eyes flitting across the page. 

“How the fuck do they expect any of us common folk to understand a fucking word of this? Hereby? Wherein? Hitherto? What fucking year did I wake up in, man?”

“Yeah, I think the whole point is that you don’t read what you’re signing but I’ll let you in on a little secret.” Steve huffs a small laugh through his nose as he steps carefully around Eddie’s crutches. “You may as well just sign it because if you don’t, they’ll forge it anyway. Now finish signing your life rights away so you can have this milkshake with me.” 

Eddie perks up, looking away from the mess of papers and smiling up at Steve with a smile so genuine, it punches the air out of his lungs. He keeps looking at him like this, like Steve’s a breath of fresh air, like he's someone Eddie wants to have around. 

Steve isn’t sure what to do with that look yet, but he’s sure glad it’s there. 

“Celebration milkshakes? Is this a freedom gift?” Eddie signs the NDA quickly and sets the pen down on the bed next to him. 

“It sure is. Figured this could make up for all those lame popsicles from the cafeteria.” 

The mattress creaks as Steve sits down on the edge, just to the side of the railing, and hands Eddie the strawberry treat. Their fingers graze, Steve’s chilled and Eddie’s warm. His hand is still a little shaky, trembling as he takes hold of the cup, but they’re warm and warm means alive. 

Eddie’s hand can tremble for the rest of his goddamn life so long as it’s always warm. 

They each take a sip, smooth ice cream slurping up their straws, and after a moment, Eddie sighs.

“Is it weird that I’m actually sort of worried about leaving?” 

Steve’s eyebrows knit together, looking down at Eddie’s rings glinting beneath the offensive fluorescent lights above them.

“What are you worried about?”

“Uh, well, I did almost die. And the town still wishes I did. It’s a lot easier to make those dreams a reality outside of these walls, y’know? And I’m uh…” Steve watches as Eddie takes a breath and Steve suddenly misses the early days when Eddie was connected to the heart rate monitor. 

“You’re…?” Steve presses, sipping his milkshake again to appear casual. 

“I see you all the time here. Guess I just don’t want that to change.” 

Steve’s heart skips a beat, clattering in his chest and pounding at his ribs, desperately trying to crack him right open and run to the man who’s claimed it. Eddie watches him with cautious eyes, opens his mouth to say something else but Steve cuts him off before he can take it back. 

“Why do you think that’d change? Forest Hills is a lot closer than this shithole, and you won’t be kept under lock and key. And as for the first thing, well, Wayne and Nancy have a lot in common and I have a bat loaded up with nails in the trunk of my car.” Steve rests his free hand on Eddie’s knee. “No one's gonna fuck with you. Don’t worry about that.” 

“You sound a little cocky there, Stevie.” Eddie lifts one eyebrow, glancing from Steve’s hand up to his eyes. “Ready to fight for my honor or something?”

“Yep.” 

He hadn’t brought the milkshakes intending to use them as props, but he’s glad he has something to do to fill the space as Eddie watches him with questioning eyes. As he slurps through the straw, grating noise still preferable over the awkward silence, Eddie’s pinched expression turns softer, realization dawning between the stark white walls of the hospital and the pink ice cream in both of their hands. 

“You’re serious.” Eddie says. 

“Took you that long to figure that out?” Steve teases. 

“I’ve been a little busy with learning how to breathe and walk again. Y’know, just little things.” Eddie rolls his eyes with that same fond smile, free hand lacing its fingers through Steve’s. “So what you’re saying is that I’ll see you just as much outside of this prison as I have inside of it?” 

Steve shrugs. “Probably even more, honestly. There are no visiting hours at Wayne’s, and it’s not like I have a job to rush off to these days. You’re stuck with me, Ed. At least for as long as you want me around.” 

Eddie snorts, unceremoniously scoffing in Steve’s face as if in disbelief.

“Don’t make promises like that. What happens when I never want you to leave?” 

The air shifts, growing heavier as they find themselves leaning closer, two satellites orbiting one another by nothing but gravitational pull. 

Steve’s not sure who actually closes the gap, but he finds himself with his lips pressed against Eddie’s— sweet, chilled, a little chapped but smiling against his. Months of waiting, of hoping that he’d get this opportunity, come to a deafening crescendo and it takes all of his discipline to not push. Instead, they pull apart and Steve smiles, tucking loose hair behind Eddie’s ear. 

“That’s easy. I’d just never leave.”

fun fact: kei, I wrote your birthday down in my calendar as the 28th for some reason, a solid ten days late, so know that this was planned from the get-go but was just a tad bit late.

[hylianane]

I was going to write this in the tags of your last post but i think it's important actually so I'm gonna send an ask

On a more serious note I'm actually kind of obsessed with psychoanalyzing Zoro specifically. Because he actually has some pretty big issues I think, mentally

He takes his self appointed job as protector of the crew very very seriously, and he's really hard on himself if he thinks he's failed in any way. I mean just look at him right after Little Garden, or how mad he is after losing his shadow on Thriller Bark.

So yeah there's nothing in that brain but swords and I fucking love that about him, he sure is sharpening them to an unhealthy degree isn't he. He's never strong enough, after all, to protect everyone.

I just,, really like combining silly ideas with serious ones, it's fun

GOD listen is 12:25 am but I just couldnt go to bed without at least STARTING to jot down my thoughts on this but like YEAH. for SURE. Zoro for all that he’s shown to be a pretty simple guy with a single-minded focus, has a LOT to chew on in terms of character depth and layers. There’s lots of fun contradictions to him too. He’s prideful and self-assured but also so often self-punishing, and he’s also someone who is fiercely independent and a free spirit, while having a habit of building his own identity around others (both his dreams are shared with others, they belong other people as much as they do to him and that’s a LOT to think about).

You may have actually caught me red handed here cause that ‘Journey to the Center of the Mind’ story concept maaaay be kind of something i’ve played around with for months now. I think I once tried to write out like a basic premise, but the only thing I really remember is is wanting Luffy to be the primary person to undergo the journey cause. EVERY Strawhat being there felt like it’d make it less intimate, less personal, I’d feel like Luffy would want to explore Zoro’s mind alone to preserve his privacy. Unaware that he’s the person Zoro has the most to hide from. I think the levels of Zoro’s willingness to put the Strawhat’s well being first has the potential to truly frighten him, if the visuals Zoro’s mind provides him are right.

[noxtivagus]

SHADOWBRINGERS.... listening to the song again n oh god i love the lyrics so so much we r ignoring the fact that i have to wake up in like less than 4 hours

[irb-pascalito-99]

Worship You

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 5.7 k

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Summary: After she experiences a death in the family, Joel tries to give his girl some space to grieve. When she tells him all she wants is him, he makes sure to show her how much he cares about her.

Warnings: grief, mentions of death, mentions of driving under the influence, smut, unprotected p in v, creampie

A/N: This is an excerpt from chapter fourteen of my fic Always an Angel, Never a God. To read more of this pairing please visit a03.

By the time we finally get to Joel’s house, the sun is beginning to rise. The girls are asleep upstairs when we get in, but Tommy and Maria wait in the living room for us.

When I enter the room Tommy stands up, walks across the room, and gives me a hug. I stand with my arms at my side as he holds me for a minute.

“I’m so sorry,” Tommy says as he squeezes me. I blink a couple times, my tired eyes hurting from fighting the sleep that I need.

When Tommy pulls away he holds my shoulders and analyzes me for a moment. I can feel all the eyes in the room on me, waiting for some sort of reaction. I take a step away from Tommy so he will let go of me.

“Anyone hungry?” I ask. I walk past Maria and Tommy into the kitchen, looking at the contents of Joel’s fridge for something to cook. “I could really use some dinner, but I guess at this point maybe breakfast is the better call…”

The others follow after me as I pull the eggs out of the fridge and grab some bread, cinnamon, and sugar out of the pantry. Joel says my name softly to get my attention while I search the cabinets for some bowls.

“French toast sounds good to me, anyone else want some?” I glance over at the others. Tommy looks confused while Maria and Joel share a similar look of concern. “No?”

Joel says my name again. I pull my attention away from him, grabbing an egg and cracking it into one of the bowls I pulled out. I feel Joel walk up behind me. He grabs the second egg out of my hand before I can add it to the bowl with the other. He holds my hand still as he says my name again.

“You need to sleep,” he says softly.

“But I’m making french toast,” I say. I keep my eyes on the counter.

“I’ll make you french toast when you wake up,” Joel responds.

“It’s already tomorrow though,” I retort. “I have work, Ellie has school. There’s no time to sleep.”

“Work and school can wait for another day. They’ll understand.” I let Joel pull me away from the kitchen, but he doesn’t get farther than the living room. Maria and Tommy stand back and watch our conversation.

“I don’t have anywhere to sleep,” I say, continuing to argue.

I can feel how heavy my eyes are, but I’m not ready to sleep. Sleep cements everything that just happened into reality. I have too much to do, and I don’t want to think of what dreams may bring me.

“You can sleep in my room, I’ll stay on the couch until you guys are ready to go home.” I shake my head. I can’t take Joel’s room from him, even though I know he won’t let me refuse.

“I don’t have anything to wear.”

“I’ll give you some of my clothes to sleep in, and we can stop by your house when you wake up for new clothes.” I try to wrack my brain for other excuses.

“There’s too much else to do. I have to get my car from the school. I have to tell Bill and Frank. I have to call Ellie’s school. I have to call the funeral home. I have to write the obituary.” I count each item on my fingers, staring at the floor as I think of more items to add. Joel places a finger under my chin and tilts my head up to look at him.

“Sleep first, we’ll figure out the rest later.” He says with a look in his eyes telling me there’s no room for argument. I sigh and let him direct me toward the stairs. He keeps his hand pressed lightly between my shoulder blades as he walks behind me up the stairs.

I can barely hear the muttered voices of Maria and Tommy downstairs as Joel drags me away. When we get to his room he walks me inside and lets go of me as he closes the door. He turns away to start rifling through his drawers for something I can wear to sleep in.

I hadn’t thought about the fact that I didn’t have clothes at his house before. We may be together in some sense, but every time I’ve spent the night before we slept with our naked bodies tangled in the sheets. It feels more intimate to be wearing his clothes to bed.

I start to take my clothes off while his back is still turned to me, figuring it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before. He immediately averts his eyes when he turns around to see me standing in only my underwear. I feel a rush of rejection at the movement. He’s never looked away before. Joel clears his throat and holds the shirt and sweatpants out to me.

“Here you go, might be a little bit but it should do.” He keeps his eyes on the floor, even when I take the clothes from his hand.

He doesn’t look in my direction until I’ve pulled both the shirt and sweatpants over my body. It feels absurd that only 24 hours ago I had my mouth wrapped around his cock while he slept and now he can’t even look at me while I change. I can’t tell if it hurts more or if I’m angry that he's treating me like I'm delicate.

“I’ll be downstairs,” Joel says motioning his head to the door. “You get some sleep.”

He walks to the doorway while I stand in the middle of the room watching him. What just happened?

“Joel,” I call after him when he opens the door to leave. He turns his head in my direction. “Thanks for the clothes.”

“You’re welcome,” he says and leaves the room.

—

We spent the first full day after my father’s death at Joel’s house. Despite my attempts to keep things normal, my friends are constantly watching me as though I’m seconds away from falling apart. I know it stems from a place of concern, but it only sets me more on edge. My every move is being observed and analyzed. Everyone is walking around me like they’re walking on eggshells. I don’t know how to convince them I’m fine without them thinking I’m in denial.

Ellie still doesn’t want to go home yet, so Joel offered to let us stay at his house at least until after the funeral. Maria comes by in the mornings and doesn’t leave until after we all go to bed. Joel sleeps on the couch. I haven’t been alone with him since he handed me his clothes to sleep in the morning we came back from the hospital.

When Joel offered to let me sleep in his room, I thought he would make his way into the bed after the others had fallen asleep. After the awkwardness of when he handed me his clothes, I thought maybe he just wanted to give me some space to actually sleep for a bit, or maybe he was concerned about others perceiving the relationship we’ve attempted to keep quiet. I held out hope that maybe come night time when everyone left I’d feel the warmth of his body next to mine again. I stayed awake for hours that night, just in case, but he never came. It’s been a couple days since then, and still nothing.

Today I have to do a couple of errands to ensure things are ready for the funeral tomorrow, the first of which is picking up clothes from the house. Maria stopped by the house a couple of days ago to pick up clothes for Ellie and I to where while we stay at Joel’s, but I haven’t been back since I left with Joel to pick up Ellie and Sarah from their trip.

Maria parks the car in the driveway alongside mine and, upon my insistence, waits outside for me while I go in. On top of the lingering stares, and the constant pressure of being surrounded by people, between Maria and Joel I have not been allowed to drive at all in the last several days. They went so far as to pick up my car from the school parking lot while I was asleep that first morning. They brought it back here after and hid the keys.

When I go inside the house it seems exactly the same as it always does. Mine and Ellie’s things are strewn about the various rooms. I’ll have to make sure to come back and clean before we have the wake here tomorrow. Sunlight streams through the open blinds, sending beams of light across the hardwood floors. I feel like I’m disturbing things in a way, like our home has been preserved in a world before the news and my presence forces the grief upon the space.

I move slowly up the stairs, taking in the tranquility of my surroundings. I don’t have to watch myself here, I can just be. I go to Ellie’s room first, delicately opening the drawers to her dresser. I thumb through various shirts until I find the black sweater she wore to our mother’s funeral.

I run my fingers over the soft cotton of the yarn. I remember her tears that day, the way she refused to look at me for weeks after the accident. I remember asap the fights we had in the months I first moved back. She used to scream at me and remind me that I’m not her mother.

We’ve made so much progress since then. It’s been hard to get the relationship to where it is now, but I can’t help but wonder if we’re headed back to that kind of relationship with the passing of our dad. She’s been so quiet since his passing, it’s hard to read where she’s at. I do my best to push the thought out of my head as I grab the black slacks that finish her outfit and move on to grab mine.

I keep my funeral dress in the back of my closet. A simple black piece with short sleeves, it used to be a dress I would wear regularly. I can’t stand to look at it now, the memory of my mother’s loss dripping off of its fabric. I made sure to save it for the next one though. I grab a small bag from my closet and throw Ellie’s clothes, along with my dress and a pair of opaque tights and black heels, inside.

I glance at my bed from the doorway before I leave. Joel took the time to make it before we went to pick up the girls that afternoon. I stood back and watched him after he declared I wasn’t doing it right. His eyebrows pinched together in concentration as he tucked the corners in neatly. I close my eyes and sigh as I move on.

The last of my father’s things are hidden in the far corner of the closet in the art studio. We kept his nicest suit in a garment bag there, anticipating the need for exactly this, the outfit he will wear to his own funeral. Because the room was originally the master bedroom, the closet is large and I’ve put a lot of things inside to store. Which means I have to walk past stacks of art, both mine and my mother’s, to get to the bag I’m looking for.

The large canvas Joel and I painted last weekend rests by the door among my stack of Joel paintings. My eyes linger on its bright colors as I pass. It feels silly to be so insecure after only days of little romantic interaction with him. It’s not like he’s gone, or even like he’s ignoring me. I see him everyday. I talk to him every day. He shows me he cares every day. However, I can’t help but play the moment with the clothes over in my mind again. I remind myself of his absence in the bed each night. I know there’s a possibility he’s just trying to maintain our secret, but I can’t help wondering if he sees me as weak now. What if that spark is gone?

I tear my eyes away from the painting and grab what I need. Then I turn out the lights and head back down the stairs. When I walk outside with the two bags in my hands. Maria rushes to my side to grab one of the bags when I pause to lock the door again. I ignore the way my stomach clenches in frustration. She just wants to help, but I can’t help feeling like everyone is treating me as though I’m fragile.

We put the bags in the back seat of her car. I don’t look at her as I get in the passenger seat, eyes peering at my car in the driveway next to hers. A lump forms in my throat as I continue to fight against my anger. They won’t even let me drive my own car.

“You good?” Maria asks as she gets in beside me. Her eyes scan my face while I adjust my seat belt.

“Yeah, let’s go.” I reply, keeping my eyes on the front windshield. Maria looks over me once more before putting on her own seatbelt and pulling out of the driveway.

Despite my arguments against it, Maria does go into the funeral home with me. She follows me awkwardly through the building, observing my every movement. She stays quiet, but always just a step behind, while the funeral director asks me questions and we pick out options for the service.

I wasn’t very present with the planning for my mother’s funeral. Bill and Frank took over most of that for me, claiming I needed to focus my energy on Ellie. It was a reprieve I gladly accepted then, but one I refuse now. It’s nice to have something to do, to have a distraction amidst it all.

A good number of things had already been decided beforehand since his health had been declining for so long. The last steps are really just finalizing the details. Who will be performing the service? Where? Which coffin did we want to use? What will he wear for the viewing? Working out the details has given me a chance for some normalcy in my life while everyone attempts to get me to step back. Even now, when we drop off the clothes my father is to wear at the viewing tomorrow. I’m acutely aware of Maria’s wandering stare beside me.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asks, her hands toying with the edges of the garment bag I’ve placed on the counter. I drum my fingers across the counter while we wait for the funeral director to come get the clothes so we can be on our way.

It’s just the two of us in the empty showroom up front. The funeral director went to the backroom for a moment to put the file of our selections away. She offered to bring me back there as well, to give me a chance to view the body before tomorrow. I declined. I don’t want to see him, not now and not at the viewing tomorrow. I just want this to be over. My refusal just seemed to set Maria more on edge.

“I’m fine,” I respond. I keep my attention on the door to the back room.

“It’s okay if you’re not…” Maria pushes. My fingers tighten on the edge of the counter. I take a deep breath and try to keep the bitterness out of my voice when I speak again.

“I said I’m fine okay?” There’s some movement through the window in the door to the bathroom as the funeral director makes her way back to us. “I know he died, but he’s been gone for a while. This doesn’t change anything. If anything, it’s for the best actually.”

Maria and I both go silent when the director comes back out to collect the rest of our items. Maria’s eyes don’t leave the back of my head as the director and I discuss the last few details before the funeral tomorrow. I try to ignore the way her eyes burn into me as I talk.

I walk quickly when we leave, Maria trailing behind me with the car keys in her hand. I wait at the passenger door of her locked car in the parking lot while she catches up with me.

“What do you mean it’s for the best?” Maria asks when she gets to the car. She doesn’t unlock the doors. I sigh and stare up at the sky.

“Maria…” I huff, but she isn’t letting go.

“What do you mean it’s for the best?” She asks again.

I debate on taking off and walking instead. Despite the fact it’s still early February, the weather is extremely nice. There’s a slight chill to the air but with the sun it should be warm enough to walk. That is, if I knew Maria wouldn’t follow me down the road in her car.

“I mean, even if he had by some miracle lived, he would have gone to prison,” I say. Maria and I stare at each other over the hood of the car. She looks concerned, but doesn't judge as I continue. “He decided to drive drunk and he killed two people, now he’s dead. It really is the best possible outcome for him. His little angel will clean up all the pieces for him. The rest of us just go on living and he never has to face the consequences of his actions.”

The weight of what I’ve said lingers in the air. It sounds callous, said out loud. I’m not even sure if that’s the full extent of what I’m feeling right now, but it’s the simplest version to explain. Mourning him doesn’t feel right, so I won’t. I settle on the anger instead, partially because it’s so overwhelming in the face of everything else, and partially because I don’t want to deal with the rest of my grief.

“He’s still your dad,” Maria says quietly. I bite my lip and look away. I know she’s right, but I can’t think of it that way.

“Maria, just drop it.” I plead quietly. She exhales and unlocks the door. I immediately open it and get inside.

—

Joel already has dinner prepared when we get home from our errands. Everyone sits down to eat together, but we maintain an awkward silence through the whole meal. Maria’s eyes keep glancing over at me as I shovel potatoes in my mouth and keep my eyes on the table. Tommy watches the friction between us from his seat beside Maria. He looks as though he wants to say something, but has no idea how to bring it up.

Ellie sits next to Sarah, quietly playing with her food. She hasn’t eaten much lately, but she takes bites from time to time so there’s something fueling her. Joel and I sit on opposite ends of the table. He watches everyone closely, noting the tension in the air as he cuts a piece of his pork chop.

“Is there anything you need help with for tomorrow?” Joel asks, his eyes on me. I look up at him, his expression soft as he offers his help.

“No,” I reply, trying to keep any emotion out of my voice.

“How was-“ Joel tries to ask but I cut him off.

“It was fine. I’m fine.” It comes out harsher than I meant it to.

I can see Joel and Maria exchange a glance in my periphery, which makes the anger turn in my stomach again. I take another bite of my food and get up to clear my plate. I rinse the dish and leave it in the sink before heading upstairs without speaking to the others.

A couple of hours after we all go our separate ways I hear the quiet sound of the doorknob turning and then a gentle click as it latches behind whoever entered the room. I don’t turn to see who it is. Moments later, the mattress sinks under the weight of another body as someone lays down next to me.

“You asleep?” Joel whispers. His breath fans against my shoulder. I nearly sob at the sound of his voice.

“No,” I whisper back. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest.

I close my eyes as I feel his face bury into my hair. He presses soft kisses to the back of my head. His hands rub gently up and down my arms. I inhale the scent of vanilla and wood I’ve come to associate with Joel’s presence.

“I really am fine you know,” I murmur. He kisses my hair again.

“I know,” he whispers back. I have a feeling he doesn’t fully believe me, or maybe he does but doesn’t expect it to last. Either way I don’t attempt to convince him any further.

I retreat into him, allowing his gentle caresses to pull out the most vulnerable sides of me. It’s exhausting trying to keep up the balancing act, being sad enough that my friends don’t think I’m psychotic while not being so sad that they think I’m drowning in grief. It has felt like I’m putting on a show instead of simply existing ever since my father passed. I’m too tired now, and Joel’s warmth is too comforting to keep up the facade.

“I’ve missed you,” I say into the dark room. Joel’s fingers brush against my arm again.

“I’ve been here,” he says. I shake my head.

“Not like this.” I murmur. Joel’s hand moves up my arm to pull the hair out of my face. He kisses the skin under my ear.

I turn my body around in the bed to face him. His hair falls in messy curls around his face. He’s wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants. He maintains a soft expression on his face, but I notice a hesitancy in him. I softly press my lips against the patch in his beard.

“I don’t want to push you.” Joel murmurs as I move my lips to his. I kiss him softly, our noses brushing against each other. “I don’t want it to be like how it was when Ellie was in the hospital. That wasn’t fair to you.”

I don’t understand what he means by ‘it wasn’t fair to me’. I wanted to be with him at that time just as much as he wanted to be with me. I didn’t feel like he pushed me to do anything, why would he?

“I know you have a lot on your mind right now,” Joel continues. “I don’t want you to think I expect anything. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything you don’t want to. That’s not what this is for me.”

“I want you,” I mumble against his lips. I kiss him again. My lips are firmer against his this time as I swipe my tongue against his bottom lip. “Please, I want you. I’m not weak or broken. I can drive my own car and make my own decisions. I want you.”

I try to be patient, to let him lead, but I wrap my hand around the thick muscles of his arm anyway. Going from an entire weekend of constant intimacy with Joel to nearly a week without touching him has made me hungry for his attention. His hands spread across my back, holding me delicately as he allows me to take what I need.

“You have me,” He responds while resting his forehead against mine.

“I want more of you. I need more.” I’m feeling desperate now. It’s not enough to be beside Joel, to feel his body wrapped around mine. One of his hands leaves my back and travels down to my bare thigh.

I’m only wearing panties and the oversized t-shirt he let me borrow to sleep in on the first night here. When he looks down at my clothing it’s as though he just now realized I’m wearing it. He grips my thigh harder, eyes darkening with lust when he pulls me in for another kiss.

His tongue slides into my mouth as I pull at the fabric of the shirt he is wearing, fighting to get him closer despite his entire body being pressed tightly against mine. He breaks the kiss only to allow me the space to pull the shirt over his head and then begin to kiss my neck softly.

Joel takes his time with all of it, his fingers delicately sliding under my shirt to glide against my bare skin. I twitch when his thumbs brush my nipples.

“Joel,” I whine. I push my hips against him, his hardening length making contact with my core.

He growls at the feeling, his hands squeezing me harder. He climbs on top of me, finally pulling my panties down my legs. I whine and attempt to grind against him but Joel presses my hips back down to the bed.

“Patience baby, let me do this for you.” I lose myself in his eyes, his hand slowly snaking between my thighs.

There’s something different about the way he touches me tonight. Each brush of his hand is deliberate. Just the slightest movement sends sparks across my skin. He doesn’t break eye contact with me as he runs his finger through my folds. I push my head back a little, my lips parting though I’m careful to keep my eyes on his.

There’s a deeper connection between us this time around. His eyes communicate with mine wordlessly as he begins to rub circles against my bundle of nerves. He puts all his energy into showing me the words that fail him. It makes me squirm, not just from the pleasure he’s providing me but from the emotions involved in all of it. It’s too much to handle, too much to feel right now.

I move my hand down and pull him out of his underwear, hoping to pull some of his attention off of me. He hisses through his teeth when I grip his cock. I twist my wrist as I move my hand slowly up and down his shaft. His hips chase my hand despite the way his hand grips my wrist to get me to stop.

“Enough,” he growls, squeezing my wrist as I pump him again.

“Then fuck me already,” I whisper back. He pulls my hand off of him and pushes his boxers the rest of the way down.

I spread my legs further apart so he can nestle in between them. He rests against me, rubbing his swollen head through my folds as it leaks pre-come. I whine as he runs his length over where I need him most, but doesn’t push inside.

“Joel,” I plead. I push my hips up, the tip of him breaching my hole. He shivers as I pull him in, not moving from where he rests against me.

“Okay, okay sweetheart.” He keeps one hand on his cock as the other grabs my leg and hitches it around his waist. I have to bite my lip to keep from calling out as he pushes inside. My eyes flutter shut, but his fingers squeeze my leg and he pauses his movement. “Oh no you don’t. Keep your eyes on me darlin’.”

I force my eyes open again to make contact with his. He continues in one long, slow, motion until his hips are flush with mine. I expect him to immediately drive into me with the intense passion he normally does, but when I’m completely full of him he freezes again.

He drops his head to my shoulder and I huff in frustration as I wait for him to move. I can feel every ridge and vein of him as I pulse around his length, my wetness dripping around him. The house is silent aside from our hushed breaths. I’m desperate for some sort of motion, but he does not grant it to me.

I start to move instead, pressing my hips up and down the best I can while stuck between his body and the mattress. I go fast, settling for short bursts as I desperately try to get enough friction to build the pressure in my core again.

Joel pulls back slightly to give me more room, but it’s not enough. None of it is enough. He watches me through hooded eyes while I desperately attempt to set a good pace.

“Baby,” Joel murmurs. I feel something vaguely simmering inside me, but it’s nothing like what Joel normally provides. He mutters my name and grabs my hips, pressing them back to the mattress. I throw my head back on the pillow as he stills my movements. “Not like this, not tonight.”

He pulls out of me and kneels back on the bed, looking over my form carefully. I adjust my body on the bed, self conscious from his observing eyes.

“As much as I love this on you,” Joel says, tugging at the shirt that covers me. “I need to see all of you.”

He pulls his shirt over my head and throws it on the floor. I am bare to him now, his eyes roving over me not in lust but in worship. He looks over my body but stares into my soul. His hands skim my form delicately before he positions himself over me again and presses a delicate kiss to my lips.

I watch closely as his lips trail down my entire body. He kisses softly at my skin as though he’s trying to memorize how my skin feels pressed against his lips. He kisses down my neck, over my shoulders, across my chest. My stomach tenses as he kisses further down my body. I jolt when he lightly presses against my core, not in a sexual way like he has before but gentle and loving. He moves to my thighs next and down my legs, then back up again until he reaches my hips once more.

“You’re perfect,” he whispers to me and lines himself back up with my center. I pull my arms around his neck, my eyes staring into his as I await his next move.

He cages me in with his body, wrapping my legs around his waist while his arms rest on either side of my head, holding his upper body above me. He pushes back inside me with a languid thrust and sets his pace.

I moan against him, finally getting the reprieve I need. His hands grip the sheets by my head while he watches my face contort in pleasure. I pull lightly at the ends of his hair, my toes curling as I gasp. I start to lose myself in the feeling of him, allowing the warmth of his body to float me away to some other place.

His body melts into mine. I’m no longer aware of where he ends and I begin. He doesn’t retreat fully, not wanting to leave my body long enough to do so. He thrusts slow and deep, each one knocking the breath out of me. We share the air between us, our breaths mingling in soft pants as he cages me in. The world fades away until all I feel is him. All I see is him. All I know is him.

Sex with Joel has always been great, but this is on another level. The word sex can’t even encapsulate what is happening right now between us. This time it’s not about finding release, or the pleasure that builds in my stomach. This time it’s about the way I can feel the sweat on his skin and each pulse of his member inside me. It doesn’t take long for him to bring me back to the precipice of my orgasm.

I feel tears well in my eyes as I clench around him. It’s everything I needed and too much at the same time. I thought this would provide me a distraction from my grief. Instead Joel holds me like he’s trying to prove how much he truly sees me, trying to prove he’s here to help me hold the burden.

I’ve never felt this vulnerable. It scares me that he doesn’t look away. If anything he seems to hold me closer. The hand that rests by my head moves closer to my face, his thumb brushing the tear on my cheek away. He moves his thumb out of the way to press a kiss to my tear stained cheek.

“I’m gonna-“ he says hoarsely, his lips ghosting my cheek.

“Me too,” I reply. It feels like my entire being is about to explode, and despite how overwhelming the experience already is I need to know what it feels like to be one with him. I desperately want to feel every last moment of this. I don’t want it to end. “Do it inside, please.”

He looks at me with wide eyes, a silent question of ‘Are you sure?’ passing between us. He knows I’m on the pill, but we’ve always been extra careful. We have enough going on with Ellie and Sarah that we don't need to risk any other surprises. Right now, nothing else matters but having all of him.

I nod my head, giving him a final approval. We keep our eyes on each other as he groans and I feel his warmth begin to release inside me. I let go as well. His body wraps tighter around me as I pulse around him. He pushes deeper while ribbons of his seed spread inside me. We kiss passionately, our lips pressed hard against each other as both of us struggle to stay quiet with the pleasure coursing through our bodies.

Once the shockwaves begin to subside, and Joel’s twitching frame subsides into one of heavy pants, he drops his forehead to mine. He holds me close while he rolls us onto our sides, keeping one of my legs hooked around his waist so he doesn’t slip out. I fall asleep with him still inside me, his body intertwined with mine in every way.

To read more visit a03

[trsrina]

valentine’s day with zerobaseone

gn reader, established relationship, fluff !! mentions of food, not proofread

jiwoong

- even after having been in a relationship with jiwoong for some time now, you still kick your feet and get all excited when you receive your yearly valentine’s surprise from him

- sends a box of chocolates and a bouquet of blue roses to your workplace in the middle of the day with a love letter in it (probably some cheesy love poem he racked his brain to come up with and feels very proud of)

- it will probably be something like “roses are red. my face is too. that only happens when i’m around you” written with crayons and decorated with silly childish stickers and doodles ,and you had to resist letting out the loudest laugh ever at that since you were still at work

other members under the cut!

zhanghao

- sorry but YOU have to ask him to be your valentine, not the other way around and you have to do it fast before anyone else (hanbin) snatches him away from you

- no but seriously he would’ve cleared out his entire schedule for that day just to spend it all with you going out just idk eating at some cute but overpriced café (don’t worry, he pays), shopping and just gossiping over some coffee

- ends the day with a night stroll at a park with your hands intertwined and swinging by your sides maybe feed some ducks you saw while chatting the night away and just giggling to each other about something silly. it was simple but meant so much to the both of you

hanbin

- this is so serious for him like no one takes valentine’s day as serious as him so he makes sure to give you princess treatment throughout the whole day

- you wake up to the sound of a grizzling pan and smelling the aroma of the breakfast he’s preparing for you and damn this man CAN cook. serves you a five course meal at 8 am in the morning with like heart-shaped pancakes and eggs like this man is not real (sorry i just love domestic hanbin)

- after breakfast, you two return to bed since you were still feeling sleepy. he cuddles you to sleep, your head buried in his chest and literally clinging onto him, him with his arms tightly wrapped around you in a comforting embrace, gently patting you to sleep as he leaves small pecks all around your face and he probably has even more stuff planned later in the day

matthew

- matthew biggest green flag. spent so long planning the perfect valentine’s date for you and surprised you with a romantic picnic at the beach. he even sets up a table and chairs for the both of you, made sure all the food was perfect

- i can envision him covering your eyes during the walk from the car to the beach then surprising you. pulls out your chair for you and pushes your hair behind your ear and when you ask why he’ll say, “just wanted to take a better look at your pretty face”

- makes you giggles at his jokes the whole time and at last, gives you a final surprise which was an adorable cake with ‘happy valentine’s day’ written on it with icing that he spent the majority of yesterday making for you (u have no idea how many times he had to redo it)

taerae

- he serenades you. that would be the most taerae thing to do like seriously. he would start planning since christmas, writing a whole love song for you, him writing and composing it for you all by himself

- he would be so nervous when the day arrives. he would take you out to a nice restaurant, surprising you with flowers and all, then when the both of you return home, he sits you down on the couch and takes out his guitar

- starts strumming and you’re like, “i don’t recognise this song?” and realises that he wrote it and it took everything in you to not start crying on the spot. serenades you with his honey-like sweet voice while looking into your eyes like a lovesick man, literally making heart eyes at you and smiling like an idiot

ricky

- sends you a text in the morning which reads, “morning, baby. happy valentine’s day. i reserved a table at xxx restaurant for us at 6 pm. i’ll pick you up at 5:30 pm. i love you.”

- the moment you receive that text you start giggling and kicking your feet while burying your face into your pillow, only ricky can make you feel this way.

- you dress up for him and the moment you see him, he’s leaning against his car in a button up with the first few buttons unbuttoned and a huge bouquet of flowers. holds your hand the whole time, during the ride and dinner, listens intently to all of your rambling during the whole of dinner and also pays !!! (bc he’s young and rich)

gyuvin

- rings your doorbell enthusiastically with flowers and gifts dressed in his best attire, fixing his hair every few seconds to make sure he looks perfect for you. shyly hands you the bouquet he arranged himself when you open the door

- he would drag you to a dog café for your date and he’s most likely even more excited about this than you, just looking at the bright grin on his face and the giggles he lets out while he plays with the puppies makes a smile appear on your face too

- would probably point at every dog and says it looks like you because it’s cute just like you. no but imagine you guys sharing a pasta together and accidentally recreating the lady and tramp scene omg

gunwook

- bowling date with gunwook omg okay his jaw will literally drop the moment he sees you arrive all dressed up like he thinks you’re drop dead gorgeous and won’t stop giggling and blushing every time he glances at you

- pays for everything and takes the chance to show up his skills in bowling. coolest guy ever just the way he confidently strikes the bowling pins with the bowling ball but gets so shy and blush when you cheer for him and compliment him

- and when you’re getting food together at a restaurant, he would not stop staring at you. his head propped up on his hand as he stares at you hopelessly, utterly lost in your eyes and down bad. type to wipe your mouth for you when you have something in the corner of your lips.

yujin

- your first valentine’s day together so he would be so anxious about it and shy. he would make sure everything goes smoothly and plans it all out like buying tickets to that movie you said you wanted to watch in advance and making reservations for a restaurant you mentioned you wanted to visit before (most likely the first time he ever made a reservation by himself in his lifetime)

- takes you to the movies and insists on paying for your popcorn and drinks. probably watching some cheesy romcom together and since it’s valentine’s day, you’re surrounded with couples which just makes him even shyer

- holds your hand and whispers silly comments about the movie in your ear throughout the movie. he couldn’t focus at all because you were right beside him

short little valentine’s headcanons that i rushed to make it on time 😓

[scribbledghost]

Oh gosh, angsty idea I just need to ask... how do you Simon reacts to civilian!reader being captured?? And how do you think Simon reacts when reuniting with reader after rescuing them (b/c my brain won't accept any other ending than Simon and reader reuniting.) BTW, my brain didn't really have a particular version of Simon in mind while writing this... so you can picture fem!Simon, neighbor!Simon, etc. while responding :))))

It's been a minute since we've checked in on Neighbor!Simon, so let's do that, hm?

His first call is to Price when he finds your front door ajar and your house in disarray. He knows calling the cops would be next to useless, especially since it doesn't take a genius to piece together the kidnappers' motive - to get under Simon's skin, and lead him to them.

It takes all his resources to find you, including Price and Laswell pulling strings on his behalf. The 141 take on your rescue mission personally, though they're very much alone here. There is no backup, the military wasn't going to expend such resources rescuing a single average civilian.

Simon turns into a machine. He doesn't eat. He doesn't sleep. He only focuses on finding you and using whatever scraps of breadcrumbs he can in order to do so. He gets testy with the team. Any bit of lightheartedness from Soap or Gaz quickly gets crushed under Simon's heel. No time for jokes, not when you're out there somewhere, being put through god knows what.

His mind often wanders to Mexico. To Roba. Simon Riley is not a praying man, but he bends his own rule just this once. Not only to beg for your safe return, but to also plead that wherever you are (and whoever has you) is kinder to you than Roba was to him.

When they track you down, Simon is quick to start barking orders. Normally, Price would put him in his place, but he allows Simon to take the lead on this one. Simon has come too far to not be the one that rescues you. He makes quick work of whatever misguided group thought they could stand up to him; he leaves behind a trail of bodies with no remorse, and personally carries you out of the building and to a waiting helo.

Truthfully, I see him being completely devastated by guilt. Whoever took you did it to get back at him, and they found you by finding him. In his mind, it's the same scenario with his family all over again - someone he loves got hurt, and though he wasn't directly to blame, he can't deny that you would have been safe if he hadn't come into your life.

You wake up in a hospital bed some time later to see Simon sitting at your bedside, leg bouncing and arms crossed as he stares into space.

He all but freezes when you softly call for him, head snapping to you as he launches towards you. At first, he doesn't speak. The only thing he says is a soft "I'm so sorry" as he gently touches your cheek. He's a steady presence in the following days, making sure you're well taken care of, helping you when you start to get up and moving again.

Honestly, I think he might wrestle with himself a little bit here. Part of him wants to vanish; to leave you, move away, and break all ties with you in an effort to keep you safe. Sure, he'd spend the rest of his life thinking of you and yearning to have you back, but at least without any connection to him, you'd be free of the risk of this happening again.

And part of him wants the opposite. He wants you close, wants to keep an eye on you, wants to never leave your side. The risk would still be there, but he knows he'd be able to protect you better and he knows he'd be better-equipped to find you if anything were to happen.

In the end, he settles for the latter. And maybe he starts talking about condensing your two homes into one.

[snoopyblankie]

LI’L PUP’S “DAYCARE” / “SCHOOL” ROUTINE !

Okay, so in a few posts, I mentioned that if you don’t have a CG, have a hard time with routine, have a hard time meeting certain daily tasks, etc., then it can help to make a sorta daycare/school routine (which would involve getting ready for the day, exercise, recreation, meal breaks, etc)!

Of course, the “daycare”/“school” aspect to it is all up to you ! Routines can have some variation, and if you’re having a little day or your routine seems to be difficult because of sudden regression, then this is more tailored towards that !! (It’s also a li’l more geared towards the 4-5 age range, but don’t let that dissuade you!)

Me personally, if I’m havin’ a rough time, I might feel a sorta lingering regression throughout my day which I’ve been feeling lately. I don’t want it to interfere when I have to be big, though, so this is also a good way to manage big tasks and little wants!!

The routine can start like this !

Getting Ready For The Day: You gotta make sure you’re ready to take on the day! Wake up at a decent time (what works for your schedule) and try to do each of the following!

Make your bed

Drink some water

Brush your teeth/hair

Go to the bathroom (even if you’re not sure you need to! It can’t hurt to try!)

Wash your face or splash it with a little water

Get dressed (It helps to lay out your clothes the night before if you can !) (don’t forget new underwear and socks !)

Have some breakfast

School Time: These you can rearrange the order of, but I recommend keeping lunch/recess/nap in a somewhat similar place (ex. not having recess first) unless you really gotta! These are just suggestions after all and you know yourself best !

Welcome to the Day: Make a list of the Big Things you might need to do that day (tidy up, laundry, work/homework, etc) so you can sprinkle them in throughout the day or work around them! You can write this out by hand as a little goal chart—this is how we are greeting the day! You can write your name and date on it, use fun pens, make it a little sticker chart, whatever you’d like! This is just a way to keep track of the things you’ve gotta do. This is also a time to Get Grounded; make a separate list of three things that have made you happy/went well/or that you look forward to this morning! Even if it’s a hard day, it helps to try and find the littlest things (like you!) that make your day a little better (ex. “The weather is nice right now,” “I made my bed,” “I changed into different pajamas,” “I’m going to the park later,” etc!)

Reading: Set aside around 20-30 minutes (or more! I’d say about an hour max for now) to get comfy in a fun chair, on the floor, wherever, grab a book (or a couple if they’re shorter,) and get reading! No need to take notes unless you wanna, and if you really wanna make it more school-like, you can read the books out loud to some stuffed animals (just make sure you’re reading ‘em, not just saying ‘em) or write down the books you read in a reading log! At the end of the month it could be fun to look back and see what you’ve read!

Music: This was always my favorite subject (well, one of them)! Again, set aside around 30 minutes, and have some music fun! Listen to your favorite artists, learn some chords on guitar, practice keyboard/piano, whatever you’d like! Write a song and play it for your stuffed animals! Come up with a cartoon theme song, or music for a video game!

Work Time: Set aside around 30-60 minutes to do some work! If you have school work, you can chip away at that. If you don’t, you can use this time to do some of your big tasks (start a load of laundry, wash some dishes, etc) and, with whatever remaining time, maybe find some things to stimulate your brain! Word puzzles, math problems, researching a subject you like—anything!

Recess: Set a timer for 30 minutes and go have fun! This depends on the weather, naturally, but it’s free time! If you can get outside, go for it! Enjoy the sun (or snow,) lay/sit in the grass, take a pet for a walk or just go for one yourself/with a friend, run around if you can! If there’s a park nearby, that could be fun! Or if you have outdoor toys (ball, hula hoop, chalk, etc) you can use those! Even just reading or drawing outside is nice to get the fresh air. If you can’t get outside, do some indoor fun! Try and stay off of screens, but you don’t have to (you could find some fun kids games on the computer,) and play inside! Play with your stuffed animals, whatever toys you may have, color, anything your heart desires! Maybe you just want 30 minutes to meditate wherever you are, go for it. Just stay safe, and keep stuff handy in case you get too excited playing!

Lunch Time: This can be 30 minutes to 60, however long you feel you need to make/have lunch and settle down afterwards! It’s not helpful to rush during a meal, which I know sometimes folks struggle with (me too,) so this is the time to slow down. You’ve had a busy day so far, you gotta make sure you’ve got energy to last you a while longer! Try incorporating fun stuff into lunch if it’s daunting; fun shapes, a color scheme, a theme overall, etc. Have a stuffed animal have lunch with you if you wanna (just don’t feed ‘em your food, they like their own!)

Art: We don’t wanna get right into anything too exhaustive after lunch, what better idea than to create? Set aside 30 minutes to do something creative! Paint, color, draw, use clay, make bracelets, make a fun craft, whatever you can think of. There’s loads of posts about agere craft ideas, and plenty of kids’ art ideas on Pinterest and in books—check those out for some ideas! Remember, you’re not making things to be the best, you’re making things to make them!

Writing: For 20 minutes, it’s time to write! Assess how your day’s going—if anything’s changed from the morning, what fun stuff you might’ve done, etc. Maybe you just wanna write a silly story, or you have one that you’re already working on, go ahead and work on it! If you’re feeling particularly little, those handwriting workbooks are very fun!

Gym: For 30 minutes, we’re gonna get our bodies moving! This is all dependent on your mobility levels, so I won’t get toooo specific here (I will in other posts)! Clear some space in your living room, a rec room, however much space you need, and get your blood moving. This can be things like yoga or simple stretches (which have lots of seated options,) Pilates, or a full-out routine! It’s important to get your body moving as best you can, it keeps your heart healthy and can help if you’ve got low energy (I can confirm)!

Quiet Corner: Now we really step away from the screens. For 20-30 minutes (minimum, if you can do longer go for it,) turn off your phone, the TV, the computer, and try to relax. This is another good time to journal, to meditate, or even take a nap if you feel like your body needs it (try not to take too long a nap though, keep that to 12-30 minutes so you don’t mess up sleeping later). This can just be any quiet activity that is more hands-on to help keep you grounded. I like to read in the little corner in my room, or to play with my sensory bin! (This is also a good time to bust out the “clean up” song and maybe tidy up stuff as you start wrapping up).

Goodbyes: The day isn’t over yet, especially if you’ve gotta work closing or have late classes, but the school routine is sorta wrapping up. Grab your journal yet again, and write down something about the day that you’ve enjoyed, something you’d want to do tomorrow, or maybe something you wanna do later in the day! This is also a good time to clean up as needed, as you say “goodbye” to the more organized schedule and carry on with your day!

Dismissal: The “daycare”/“school” day may be done, but the day isn’t over yet! Have another check in and see what tasks you’ve still gotta do for the day. It’s a good time to get crackin’ on those so your evening can be more restful!

If you have work/class that interrupts your schedule, just try and pick up where you left off (unless you’re gettin’ home real late—adjust as necessary). Once you’re done with all your tasks for the day (it’s okay if you can’t do ‘em all,) it’s time to settle down, have some dinner, have a nice bath, and get ready for bed however you’d like!

This routine is great because of how flexible it can be; don’t wanna do gym every day? That’s fine! Switch out gym for science (go outside and collect some rocks or fallen plants, look ‘em up, watch some Bill Nye)! Don’t wanna do writing that day? Okay! How about history? Brain Pop is great for all sorts of subjects, and it’s a good way to try finding some new books!

This is a VERY long post, and it’s all just suggestions, but I hope some folks find it helpful (I love detailed posts like this personally ^w^). I might make some more as far as routines go (morning/night routines, different daily routines, etc) but I will definitely be making follow-up posts to this one with links and resources for every subject (as I find them!)

Have a great day !!!!!!!!! You’ve got this !!!!!!

[ilys00ga]

life after his enlistment.

pairing: yoongi x reader

synopsis: how life/the relationship was like after he enlisted.

genre: fluff, established relationship, yoongi enlisted, they are trying their best, idk if I should call it angst or hurt/comfort, but there's some kind of ✨️melancholy✨️ in this (predictable much), I effing miss him sm more now :(.

warnings: t.w: if u are just like me, prepare to be missing yoongi sickeningly after this. gosh, it feels like a hole in a chest rn. idk what to do w myself. oh btw some ideas mentioned here are purely my own opinions, so it doesn't have to be "facts" or "all true." if u have different opinions or if u disagree with any it u can reach out to me about them, I would like that, but that's that, enjoy!!!!!!!!!

A/N: this was a request made by @kimvante2013 I hope it meets ur expectations! this was so fun to write, I liked this a lot. feel free to send more reqs or anything u want :)

PS. English is not my first language, so you know the drill.

ᵎᵎ 𖦹彡⋆｡˚・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

the problem wasn't that you couldn't see him, no.

since his duty was different from that of an ordinary individual, you both were able to spend the nights in each other's arms.

when he comes back home after duty, sometimes he's met with an empty house where he'd wash up and start preparing something for you to enjoy munching on once you get back home at a later hour of the day. other times, he comes to a busy, warm house. you blasting your favorite drama on the TV while doing the laundry in the middle of the living room, or just chilling and waiting to welcome him with mellow hugs and kisses.

and when he's on duty, he can't always contact you, but he whispered kisses laced with promises into your lips before leaving on his first day, and he would never dare to break them. not that he wants to anyway.

sometimes you'd wake up to post-it notes sticked on random surfaces and items around the house, or good morning messages of love and kisses. sometimes he calls during lunch breaks to check up on you, reminding you to drink water and eat well because that's yoongi's most precious habit of showing that he always just cares.

"don't forget to layer your outfit today, I just saw that it's gonna be awfully cold."

"did you like the bouquet I sent? want more? cook me ___ tonight xx"

"hi, don't forget to drink a cup of water right this instance or you'll shrivel up and die."

"it snowed on my way here this morning, let's go out this weekend and have some fun :]"

when days are too hard to handle, weighing one of you—maybe even both of you at the same time, cause life is a bitch like that—down and burying you under the ground, you'd send long voice messages to the other. never expecting an immediate reply. just simply pressing record and spilling all the bottled negative energy that clogged your brains and chests.

so, the problem wasn't really that you couldn't see or talk to him..

the problem was that neither of you were used to any of that.

you weren't used to being away from each other for long hours throughout the day (even though he often went on tours and job events aboard), or not being able to talk and/or see him whenever you wanted to—atleast whenever your shift agreed to let you. you're stuck on this routine for months. you were so not used to that.

over the years, you and yoongi grew to become a pen and a paper: two different items that are meant to only function and be paired together. one can't be capable without the other.

yet you try to avail yourselves of the situation and take it all easy. slowly, like waking up and leaving a warm, comfy bed at 5 in the morning to gain some purpose somewhere out there.

so, while staying away from one another for several hours a day comes with heavy challenges and even melancholy at times, that doesn't mean it can't be fruitful for your relationship.

since for it to grow healthier, a couple, intentionally or not, sometimes needs to take some "time off" to preserve the connection and intimacy between them.

you always remind yoongi of how much you had missed him during the day, which is something that never failed to put a smile on his face and trigger a stream of butterflies in his stomach.

love and yearning are two inseparable powerful emotions that one can't defeat, and absence makes the heart grow fonder. that's the beauty of the challenge your relationship was subject to at this new stage.

"I am still me, you are still you. everything's gonna be alright." yoongi would say as he hugs your face into his chest.

he always reminds you that this new chapter the two of you have entered together, hand in hand and with shaking hearts, is one that he'd been dreading but looking forward to for a very long time.

a chapter that made him understand how much he needs your existence in his life. to be himself and to be the somebody you need and deserve.

and he makes sure to translate that into your skin as he traces it with his lips and fingertips when you finally fall into each other's embrace.

[cherryredstars]

Hiii cherry💋♥️ would you write something about going on a late night drive with simon when you both can't sleep🥺🫠

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x gn!reader

Warnings: Fluff

Summary: What happens when you can't sleep.

Word Count: 1.4K (Unedited)

It's been a struggle to find sleep lately.

Maybe it's a combination of the colder weather and a busy week, but no matter how tired you are, sleep seems to slip through your fingers. It makes your bones heavy and your brain slow. Eventually, after hours of tossing and turning in your bed, you slip out. Fuzzy, festive socks hit the cold wooden floor as you creep out of bed and to the front door in the dim lighting of your flat. You pull a simple jacket over your jumper and slip on some boots.

You leave with your keys jangling in your pocket, closing the door softly before walking forward to the door across from you. You're nervous. It's late, way past any reasonable hour. You know he's probably awake. You know sleep isn't his friend either. But a small voice in your mind wonders that maybe its one of those rare nights where he finds himself passed out on his couch. You'd hate to steal him from his only form of peace.

You knock softly, just loud enough to be heard if he is awake. You're certain that any sound would wake him up though. You rock back and forth on your heels, hands stuffed in your pockets as you wait. The carpet needs a bit of cleaning you realize and you have a small stain near the end of your boot that you don't remember from this morning. Maybe you should just leave and try to go to sleep.

But the slow creaking of his door makes your head shoot up. He's barely visible from the crack, but more and more of him gets revealed as he realizes its you. He's wearing an outfit similar to yours, a pair of sweats and a jumper. His has a military training symbol, front and center. He raises a brow at you, leaning against the door frame.

There is a bit of silence between the two of you as you study the other. He definitely can see the bags under your eyes, but you can see the heaviness in his. He wasn't sleeping from what you can tell. You stopped him if he was about too, though. You give him a tentative smile, hands fisting in their hidden space.

"Fancy a drive?" You whisper like a secret.

Simon doesn't respond and you get nervous again. Maybe you're disturbing his night, taking him away from something important. Knowing Simon, he's probably in no mood for any human interaction so late in the day. He gives you a hard stare before turning around. You're about to leave when Simon slips into his apartment, but you stop when he steps out a second later.

He has a beanie over his head and his shoes on. He has another one in his hand, a matching black on that he shoves into your hands. His keys are clutched tight in his hand as he starts walking down to the elevator with the expectation of you following. You hurriedly do, shoving the beanie on your head and jogging to catch up. Simon holds the elevator doors open for you, clicking on the ground floor button.

"We'll take my car." He says in that gruff voice, eyes trained on the elevator doors. You only hum in agreement.

The winter air hits you hard, and you shiver once you exit the building. Simon seems unbothered as usual, leading the way to his truck. He unlocks it when he's close enough, opening the passenger door and helping you step up before entering himself. He turns on the heater, warm air blasting as you buckle in. The engine makes a gentle purr as it starts up, and Simon reaches into the back before throwing a blanket into your lap. You put it over you wordlessly, going as far as to spread it over the middle console to make sure Simon's warm too.

Simon doesn't say anything in response, instead switching through stations before finding one that isn't a random talk show. He keeps the volume low, almost inaudible in the car silence. He pulls out of the parking spot, leaning back as he begins to drive down the empty streets.

Unsurprisingly, there aren't any other cars on the road. The streets are devoid of people, too. You lean your head against the window, body shivering at the initial coldness of the glass. You can feel Simon's eyes on you every now and then, but you don't look back at him. Instead, you focus on the world outside.

The moon is obscured by clouds, and the dim street lights don't do much to help. The buildings blur outside, making a watercolor of dark colors illuminated by the occasional white and burnt yellow. The two of you are silent, just letting the soft music fill the space. Occasionally, you'll hum along to a song you like and Simon will tap the beat onto the steering wheel's leather.

When the station turns to white noise at a light, silence engulfs the both of you again. You're content to keep it that way if Simon wishes, but you're surprised when he speaks up.

"Tell me about your day."

You turn to look at him, eyes widening before you smile softly. You get comfortable, sitting with your legs crossed as you play with the corner of the blanket. You look to the car's roof as you think about where to start, eventually deciding to recount the moments since you got out of bed. Simon keeps his attention on the road but he hums and nods along, asking questions and making a comment at the appropriate times. Eventually the two of you spiral into random conversation, joking about miscellaneous things. The car fills with light giggles and chuckles, a smile permanently etched onto your face as you stare at him.

He's awfully handsome. It's not a new realization, just one that gets illuminated as the headlight glow reflects onto his face. He seems relaxed, or as relaxed a man like him can get while still upholding a military posture. He shares bad jokes with you, a small smile creeping up when you make any reactions: good or bad. If it relates to the current flow of conversation and isn't too revealing, he recalls moments he shares with his team or the occasional mission.

You soak it up eagerly, wanting every piece of Simon Riley that he's willing to feed you. His voice is calming, a low rumble that holds a bit of gravel. It warms your body more than the heating and blanket combined. It's easy to fall asleep this way, being cocooned in warmth and being filled with the gift of Simon's voice. His car smells good too. Like him. An intense mix of evergreen pines and something smokey but warm. Like sticky, sweet ambrosia.

Your eyes begin to get heavy as he continues his hushed story. You try to fight it, desperate to hear what he has to say. Maybe you'll have to ask him to record his voice for you. Like a mini podcast of sorts. That way, you'll have something that'll shut your brain off quickly. Eventually the feeling gets too hard to fight, and sleep takes you.

When you wake up, you find yourself in your bed. Your mind is still groggy with sleep, and you squint as morning light floods in. You look around as your eyes begin to clear, finding your boots at the end of your bed. You're still wearing your thin jacket, but now it's fully zipped up. Your hand slides into your pocket, panic seizing you as you don't feel your keys. You quickly pat yourself down, frantically moving your sheets around. Your worry stops abruptly when you spot them in the corner of your eye.

They sit neatly on your nightstand, laying on top of a black beanie. The beanie from last night. Carefully, you grab it. It's soft and still warm in your hands. Hesitantly, you bring it up to your nose, suffocating in the familiar scent that is now slightly tainted by your shampoo. You sit there for a few moments, absorbing the remainder of last night. After a while of lazying around, you begin to slip out of bed. It's only then you realize the foreign blanket that unravels from around you.

And suddenly, your room smells entirely of ambrosia evergreens and cold Manchester nights.

[modifieduchiha]

i need more yandere!inumaki x fem!reader x yan!yuuta T - T imagine those 2 hot shawties in tandem

♥ Your Wish Come True ♥

♡ Characters: yandere!Toge Inumaki x Fem!Reader x yandere!Yuta Okkotsu

♡ Warnings: Yandere elements, FLUFF & ANGST, Drugging , gaslighting , Dirty talk/thoughts, NSFW but no obvious smut, mentions of pregnancy, polygamy, etc.

♡ Word Count: 2,887

♡Authors Note: Thank you to ALL OF MY FOLLOWERS . You all encourage me to write every single day , I wake up in the morning and seeing all those 'Like' and 'Reblogs' make life feel worth living . My brain really wasn't working when I wrote this , still I Hope you enjoy, anon! ♡ - your author , Tee.

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BLOG IS 18+ — MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

It was the day before Halloween, music filled the air of your living room, creating a casual ambiance as you perched on a step ladder, meticulously attaching little craft paper bats to the ceiling with tape. Halloween held a special place in your heart, and you relished in the chillier air and the falling leaves that adorned the trees. Your roommates/best friends Toge and Yuta had left to grab some candy to put outside the door tomorrow night. Lost in the moment, you hummed along to the music, which was playing perhaps a touch too loudly.

Suddenly, your phone erupted into intense vibrations, sending a sensation coursing through the soles of your sock-clad feet, momentarily throwing off your balance. Caught off guard, a startled yelp escaped your lips, and you found yourself swaying precariously on the ladder. 

In that split second, two sets of strong hands swiftly closed in, each firmly gripping one side of your waist. Startled, you glanced downward to be met with the concerned gazes of Yuta and Toge. Their presence, unexpected yet reassuring, filled you with a mix of surprise and gratitude as you regained your stability. Their concern was evident, etched on their faces as they gazed up at you.

Why were they always so damn quiet, or maybe you just always played your music too loud?

In that brief moment of rescue, a curious and perplexing exchange took place, leaving you with questions swirling in your mind. Why were they home so early? How did they manage to keep a watchful eye on you when you hadn’t even noticed them? Wait were they finally coming home to profess their love for you , to take you as theirs like you’d wanted for years? 

Their presence, though comforting, raised a sense of intrigue and mystery, leaving you to wonder what lay behind their expressions.

Toge swiftly retrieved your phone that had clattered to the floor, his hand deftly pressing the pause button, abruptly halting the music. His gaze, however, didn't fail to scan through the flurry of message notifications that adorned your lock screen, betraying a hint of curiosity and also of anger. A brow was cocked slightly after seeing that even one of your teachers, Satoru Gojo , had invited you over. 

How inappropriate to invite your innocent , mindblowingly beautiful student over, Toge thought to himself , making a mental note for him and Yuta to take care of that human trash later.

"You've got to stop this habit of being so reckless and stubborn about doing these things on your own,-" Yuta exhaled, his grip around your waist tightening, causing you to let out something similar to a gasp at the feeling. “-you have us here.” 

As Toge's hands relinquished their hold, Yuta effortlessly guided you down, setting your feet back on the floor with ease.

Despite being your best friends since middle school, they had always been special to you. Every other friend you made had eventually stopped talking to you, but Toge and Yuta were always there, you could count on them. 

Toge's eyes briefly shifted to the ceiling, admiring the array of little paper bats that now adorned it. - God shes adorable they- both thought to themselves , a smile graced Yutas face as he turned his attention back to you. 

"The bats look really good, though, babe..." His words elicited an innocent grin that tugged at your lips, and forced your heart to work overtime. Yuta's fingers tenderly tucked a few loose strands of hair behind your ear, his touch both comforting and protective.

A warm feeling spread throughout your body with all the affection and attention you got from them , your eyes twinkled upwards toward the display you had made on the ceiling, a gentle breeze breathed life into the paper bats, causing them to sway and dance, adding an enchanting touch to the ambiance.  

“Shit the sun is already setting?!”

You groaned , feeling like time had been going much to quick today, the cogs in your brain were starting to turn faster as well , imagining dressing up your own children ; two of them , who looked identical to their fathers , and you heavily pregnant with another. 

However, as you picked up your phone to check the time, you felt its familiar vibrations, and a hint of resignation crossed your face. It seemed that external distractions were determined to pull you away from the comfort of your thoughts, house , and the company of your roommates. With a deep exhale, you began to make your way toward your room, phone in hand, hoping to find a moment of solace.

Toge and Yuta exchanged a brief look, if you had been paying any attention you would see that the look they gave each other was a mirror,  as if they were sharing the same brain and its thoughts. 

They stood there, Yuta nodded understanding that they couldn't let you leave so easily. Their shared desire to keep you by their side intensified, urging them to follow you, their footsteps falling in sync behind you.

Unbeknownst to you, both Toge and Yuta harbored their own feelings for you, their emotions running deeper than mere friendship. The unspoken connection, tinged with a mixture of longing and uncertainty, fueled their determination to prevent you from venturing into new relationships, friends or not, they were all you needed ; they were sure of it. Meanwhile, you were oblivious to the shared affection they held for you, instead you used other people and things to distract yourself from the possibility of ever noticing, satisfied by your own thoughts.

A whoosh of air tickled your senses as you plopped on your plush bed belly first, eyes locked on your costume that hung from a velvet hanger on your closet door. The only thing that broke your trance was the vibration in your hand. 

Playfully you kicked your legs back and forth in an attempt to zone out the crass and crude thoughts that were trying to occupy every space in your mind. Fingers moved across the screen are you quickly scrolled through social media , a photo text suddenly pinged your notifications;

Satoru motherfucking Gojo had really just sent you an amazing dick pic. The bottom of your lip found its way in between your teeth, cheeks pinkening as you stared at the image. 

It was at the same moment that the boys entered your room whispering, quietly chuckling between themselves that you realized they were about to see the text from Gojo, your Psychology Professor.

The apples of your cheeks were on fire now and your gulp was audible as your fingers scurried to turn the screen off and bury your device under a pillow.

Yuta, ever perceptive, picked up on your unease and approached you with playful yet genuine concern etched on his face, like you were a child who had gotten caught sneaking candy. 

"Everything okay, princess?" he inquired, his voice filled with genuine care , the curiosity itself could drive him insane. He knew that whatever had stirred up your emotions wasn't related to him or Toge, but that didn't stop his curiosity from nudging him to delve deeper.

"I'm... I'm fine, Y-yuta" you stammered and when you said his name your thighs clenched on their own , it was out of your control, and all you could was hope he didn’t pick up on it. Even your cheeks were still flushed from the unexpected encounter with Gojo's text, this did nothing to help. 

Your attempt to brush off the situation only heightened Yuta's concern; interest. He could sense there was more to your reaction than you were letting on, and yet the way in which you said his name made him tilt his head and run a hand through his loose onyx locks

Toge, who had been silently observing the exchange, took a step closer, his expression a mix of curiosity and false empathy, his brain was calculating every possible way to keep you inside tonight that didn’t pose a risk to you physically, perhaps gaslighting?

"Are you sure, Y/N? You seem a bit flustered and look like you’ve got a fever-" he chimed in, his gentle tone inviting you to open up.

“-i’ll go get you a hot cocoa,” Toge offered as he was already walking out of the room, giving you no chance to respond.

Caught between their genuine concern and your desire to keep your emotions concerning everything hidden, you hesitated for a moment. The truth was, you held a deep crush on both Yuta and Toge, but you convinced yourself that they only saw you as a friend and roommate. The thought of revealing your feelings filled you with saccharine-laced dread. Yuta's hand gently reached out, his fingers tracing a comforting pattern on the edge of your bed.

"You know, Y/N, we're here for you. Whatever it is, you can talk to us," he reassured, his voice filled with warmth and sincerity. Those dark eyes of his momentarily shifted to take in the sight of how good your ass looked in the black leggings you wore, he felt the animalistic urge to just take you growing.

Toge returned to the room with a mug of warm chocolate drink in hand, he couldn't help but notice where Yuta's gaze had fallen, his eyes momentarily lingering in the direction of Yuta's gaze; he couldn’t blame him, it was a fantastic sight. 

Sensing the possessive undertones hidden in Yutas demeanor, he discreetly kicked Yuta's foot, a silent reminder to maintain their shared determination and goal. With a gentle smile, Toge approached you, his voice soft yet tinged with an unsettling intensity.

"We care about you, Y/N. You don't have to carry your burdens alone. Remember, we're your family, we would die protecting you-" he whispered, his eyes fixated on you as he handed you the mug.

“-we would do anything for you,” Yuta added on, truer words had never been spoken by the duo. His smile held a hint of urgency, an underlying desire to be the one to provide you with pleasure and comfort.

“Oh uh , I changed my mind about going to that party I was telling you guys about…I-i’m actually gonna go to a friend's house and cram in some studying tonight,” The lie left your mouth so easily but the aftertaste was sour, guilt prickling at your stomach.

In all honesty, you wanted to go see Satoru. Despite the age gap, the two of you actually conversed well, he was really funny,  and the both of you had stuff in common.

His lips also tasted really good, they also did an equally good job of keeping your mind off the two boys back at your shared house when your thoughts turned lewd , thinking of how the sex between the three of you would be, how it would be to be both on their girlfriends, to take the both of them simultaneously. 

Truthfully you watched porn a lot , not for arousal but simply to study it, you were basically a virgin, having never gone further than oral. If the moment ever arose, you wanted to be perfect, to be their dream girl. 

A cringe brushed your expression as you felt a shiver run down your spine, you so badly wanted to run away after brewing yourself a mixture of apprehension and unease. The last thing you wanted to do was be a horny spazz and creep them out. 

The warmth of the drink enveloped you, but the intensity of their gaze lingered, creating an unspoken tension that you couldn't ignore. It was as if they saw through your facade, knowing the truth that lay beneath your lies.

You continued to take sips of the drink, wondering to yourself why this one's consistency felt off. Their eyes never faltered from your body, their unwavering attention a constant reminder of their affection and precise attention, you were used to it by now but it started feeling dangerous to indulge for so long. 

The atmosphere became suffocating, the boundaries of friendship blurring into something darker and more complex. When you lied you had a very clear tell ; wiggling your toes, and thats exactly what you were doing on display for them both. 

Both of them were in an amount of shock at how the lie slipped effortlessly from your lips, and both Yuta and Toge saw through it. Their expressions tightened, their smiles masking a possessive determination that sent a chill down your spine. 

They knew you were deceiving them, and their obsession with you only grew stronger. Was the fly trying to become the spider?

As the conversation continued for the next 15 minutes, Toge and Yuta's questions became more probing, their determination to uncover the truth palpable. It felt as if they were interrogating you and the heat sure was on. You spit out lie after lie, weaving a web of deception only to end up caught in it yourself. 

It was beginning to wrap around and compress you, and as you went to prop yourself up you noticed your arms felt like jelly, your strength had diminished.  Little did you know but Toge had surreptitiously added a potent anti-anxiety sleeping medicine to the hot chocolate he had prepared specially for you. The effects of the drug started to take hold, causing gradual drowsiness to wash over you. Your eyelids grew heavy, and a dizzying sensation began to cloud your thoughts.

“Wh-wha’times it?” Such a simple question seemed difficult to get out of your mouth, it couldn’t even properly form. Was it already late enough for you to feel this tired? No , you knew this wasn’t natural.

Toge and Yuta were both side by side and knelt in front of you wearing devious smirks as they had front row seats to your amusing reaction.Yuta's gaze never wavered, his eyes locking with yours, his possessive determination shining through.

"You can't keep lying to us, Y/N., its not safe…besides we know what you truly desire,-" he whispered, his voice carrying a mix of concern and angst.

“-and it isn’t some middle-aged nobody.” Toge rubbed the pad of his thumb against the rim of your pink bottom lip as he chimed in, eyes tracking the finger as it brushed back and forth.

How did they know about that?! You wanted to scream, to yell at them for whatever they had orchestrated and done to you, yet all you could manage was turning your head in hopes of getting his finger away from your mouth. Yuta's smile took on a darker edge as he watched you struggle against the effects of the sleeping medicine.

"We won't let you get lost on the way to Gojos, Y/N. We'll make sure you stay right where you belong, here with us." The palm of his hand left the cheek of your ass stinging, it elicited a moan from you, one that sounded so sweet that Toge side-eyed him briefly with a knot between his brows.

Despite your growing fatigue and the fog that clouded your mind, a flicker of realization seeped through. You were caught in their web, trapped in a dangerous game of desire and obsession. The room spun around you, your body weakening as their presence engulfed you.

In the haze of your fading consciousness, you faced a critical decision; to succumb to the darkness that threatened to consume you or to fight it. Yet, a small voice within you whispered of self-preservation, urging you to fight against the darkness that threatened to engulf your very being.

With a surge of determination, you pushed against the lethargy that gripped your limbs. Your heart pounded in your chest, a mix of fear and adrenaline fueling your resolve. Summoning all the strength you could muster, you mustered a feeble protest. 

"N-no…-" you managed to whisper, your voice strained and weak, tears were beginning to stream down your cheeks.

"-Yuta..Toge..pleeasee?."

Yuta's expression twisted with a mix of frustration and determination, his grip tightening on your arm. 

"We love you the same way you love us, the way you described it in your diary, y/n. We want to do all those dirty things with you, we want you in every way. We know what's best for you." he asserted, his voice dripping with venomous lust.

Toge's eyes flickered with a mix of concern and something darker, a battle raging within him. 

"We just want to protect you, y/n. Don't you understand? Just go to sleep and when you wake up we will be right here , we will give you everything you ever wanted. Your wish come true." he pleaded, his voice trembling with a hint of desperation.

The room seemed to spin around you, their voices echoing in your ears. The full meaning of their words was slowly becoming evident due to the drugs coursing through your nervous system . 

You realized that your wish, your dream, the one you had wanted for so long was coming true right in front of your eyes, what you wished was at your fingertips;  but it was darker and twisted. And yet your resolve was yielding, letting go of every ounce of strength to stay awake once you realized that your dreams had a single term and condition…sleep.

You have to sleep to dream . Afterall this was your dream, right? Your wish come true.

© ModifiedUchiha 2023 ★♡Please don't copy , paste , or plagiarize my works . Feel free to use them for inspiration , but give credit .♡★

[neil-gaiman]

Hi,

My name is Hayden and this is less an ask, more a rhetorical “how did you do this?!” and "this is really weird and cool please listen!" I'm not sure if you'll be interested but it's a very strange, very real story of coincidences melting my brain. I hope you find it as wonderful as it felt.

So last winter/spring I was in the last year of my undergrad degree in Twickenham. On the weekends I worked at a cocktail bar in the area -the Richmond, London area to be specific. During this time I started listening to The Sandman Audiobook on Audible. I’ve always wanted to read the graphic novel, I knew I’d like it, it’s exactly my type of fiction but something always stopped me a few pages in, I was enjoying it but it just wasn't going in (maybe it was my dyslexia or ADHD or the stress of 3rd year Uni). So I started listening to the Audiobook. It was amazing. It pulled me into the world immediately and I could listen when I while doing other things and still be engrossed. As a Creative Writing/Film student it inspired me, motivating me to write my dissertation, fueling my creativity. I would listen every spear chance I could, when I cleaned my room, as I did laundry, on my walks to lectures, on the bus to work...

I would even get to Richmond 30 minutes early so I could sit on the Green and listen for a little longer. On my breaks I would sit in the little office at the top of the building, eating my dinner at 11pm and listening to the tales of Dream of the endless. The bar was (and still is) on Brewers Lane, a narrow little cobbled-Alley that goes between Richmond Green and the high street. It's a beautiful, old bar, definitely haunted and full of memories, full of stories.

A few months later, I had finished the Audiobooks (the 2 that were out at the time), I no longer worked at the bar, I had graduated with a First Class Joint Honours. This is when The Sandman Series came out. I watch it and to my delight when it's good, more than good. The acting, production and characterisation were everything I could have wanted. I then get to Episode 6, The Sound of Her Wings. Adapted beautifully from the graphic novel. While I watch I start to recognise the environment Dream and Death were in, the park bench seemed familiar. I think "that's just London parks, they're all pretty much the same". Then the siblings start walking, and I start to recognise some landmarks of Twickenham, pubs by the river that were too expensive for me and my friends, old wisteria-covered streets I walked down with people I no longer talk to. I'm already thinking this is so cool, seeing Dream and Death walk around these places I spent the last 3 years of my life around.

Then they're back in the park. And I see it. no doubt. It's Richmond Green! The same place I would sit and listen to the audiobooks! the exact place I sat! daydreaming, people-watching and listening. Where I pictured these exact characters in my mind's eye. The embodiment of story and imagination was standing on the Green that I had imagined him on.

Dream and death say their goodbyes and I am full of wonder, disbelief and some other hard-to-define emotion. Dream walks away from his older sister. He enters an alley. No, a lane. He's walking down Brewers Lane. The Lane I worked on for a year. The Lane I sat above listening to Lord Morpheus in existential angst and now he was walking below it. Waking among the people. Walking past the shops I passed. At that moment I felt like I had willed him into existence. At this point, my mind was well and truly blown. Then he came to just outside the Bar, my Bar, and the scene ends. The scene ends at the very same place I would stand, at 2am, smoking with my friends after a hard shift, before we'd go back inside, and make each other the most extravagant drinks we could come up with and talk til 5am. Then stumble back to that spot, say our goodbyes and make our way home. And I had just seen Dream stand there.

I know this is all a coincidence, that Tom and Kirby aren't actually Dream and Death. I didn't actually will the TV series into the world. Lots of stuff is filmed in Richmond, it was probably filmed before I even worked there and I could have been listening to any audiobook at the time. It's not a magical occurrence, it's scratches on shiny metal, random and without meaning. But for that moment, watching that episode, You (and 50+ other people) held up a flame to the scratches, letting me see all the meaning and purposeful patterns I could ever want. And that's just a bit magical I think.

But yeah, I think it's pretty clear you've somehow gotten directly into my brain, Netflix knows something and the show was made specifically for me!

That's magic.

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

I had brain riot with this idea, courtesy of @z3r0aqxa and their TR matchups. I just found this dynamic too adorable for not writing about this!

Edit: Fanart of this here! 💜

Ran Haitani with a s/o that have way too much energy and usually sleeps 5/6 hours top.

(english is not my first language, be nice please!)

Ran doesn't understand how he ended up with you. Not that he's complaining exactly, he loves you. But he also loves sleeping.

This man needs his (at least) 12 hours of sleeping beauty.

The first time that you wake up with him, you were happy to just cuddle on his arms. The first two hours. But it was so boring after a while and your boyfriend was almost in a coma.

So, obviously, you ended up going to the kitchen for some coffee. You need your caffeine!

Where you found Rindou who, as soon as you said you were thinking in waking up Ran after coffee.... Panicks xD

Rindou warned you that you should never wake up his brother. NEVER.

You just made fun of him, obviously. But decided to listen to him anyway. Is not that you were actually scared of Ran, you just felt bad waking him up.

When Ran finally wakes up (hours later), he thought that you just left. Not that he would admit it, but that... Breakes him a little.

Until he finds you outside his bedroom, just spending time doing your own stuff and waiting for him to wake up.

This man doesn't understand how someone is able to have done so many things so early in the morning! (It's actually noon and we all know it)

But you've being waiting for him, you wanna go outside, you wanna walk around the city with him. So, even if he's still sleepy... He can't say no to your puppy eyes.

Now, you're just dragging him around through all Tokyo. Ran have a lazzy smile all the time that you do that. Maybe doing things so early (again, it wasn't early at all) is not such a bad idea if it's with you.

No need to say that after this, Ran gave you a key of his apartment, for you to be able to go in and out while his sleeping. He knows that you can't handle being stuck in bed for so many hours and he trusts you.

Rindou thinks you're a miracle maker when you even manage to wake up Ran without having to face his wrath.

Tenjiku thinks it's hilarious seeing you almost jumping with all your energy, dragging Ran to the meetings.

Even Izana starts calling you when he needs Ran to be punctual somewhere. Everyone knows that if it's with you, Ran will go anywhere. With a sleepy face and a lazzy smile.

Also, be ready for Ran napping in your lap. You don't need to sleep? Perfect, you can just pamper him while he sleeps. He even let you play with his hair!

And of course... Ran is a horny bastard. So, more than once, when you are trying to wake him up and do something together...

Ran huggs you tightly and whispers in your ear "Baby, I can help you to use all this energy without going out of bed."

Obviously, you can't say no to that xD

(I hope someone likes it, it's my first time writing about Ran! 🙈)

And of course, I had to mention Izana, hehehehe

[girlboypersonthingy]

Could you maybe write a Sally Face One Shot, where Sal developed a huge crush on reader. But he thinks she doesn’t feel the same way. So he writes a love letter in which he puts no hope in, but then she actually tells him she does feel the same.

Does that even make any sense?😭

Yes…it makes sense and I’m weeping over this omggggg 😭😭😭 bruh this had me screaming and kicking in bed as I wrote it omfgggggg. Sal is pretty smart so I know this mf would write some pretty, thought out, poetic type shit

Notes: gn!reader, established friendship, friends to lovers trope

TW: none, just so fucking sappy and fluffy

Sal x reader- Sincerely Sally 💌

Dear (Y/N),

I want to start by telling you that you’re an amazing friend. I’m beyond grateful we’ve met. You’ve always made me feel so comfortable, so wanted, so important. No words could ever truly explain my feelings for you or the thoughts behind them, but I’m going to try.

Since we met, I’ve seen nothing but good in you and I think you’ve made me good, too. You make me feel good. You make me a better person. I don’t know who I’d be without you, but I know who I want to be now.

I want to be the one on your arm when we walk into a room.

I want to be the one you wake up to every morning and fall asleep next to every night.

I want to kiss you every time we say ‘good bye’ and every time we say ‘hello’ again.

I want to be the one you point to with a smile and say ‘him’ when talking to others.

I want to be the one to hold you when you cry.

I want to be the one to hug you when you’re excited.

I want to go every where you go.

I want to slow dance with you.

I want to head bang with you.

I want to paint with you.

I want to sing to you.

I want to hold you.

I want you.

I love you.

I’m in love with you.

And I’m sorry.

Sincerely,

Sally <3

Sal felt like a total loser while sneaking over to your place, which was just down the street from Todd’s house, and slipping the letter in your mailbox. He felt like he could puke just from writing the letter, there’s no way he could ever say these things to your face. He couldn’t help but hesitate, staring at the mailbox as his heart beat rapidly in his chest. ‘They’re going to hate me. I’m gonna ruin everything. What the hell am I doing?’ Sal thinks to himself, staying frozen in place for a good few minutes as thousands of thoughts race through his mind, shaky hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets.

He jumps a bit when he notices the light in your bedroom flick on through your window. He ducks his head and turns to leave, not wanting to get caught lurking around your house in the middle of the night. As he rushes back home, the panic begins to set in because now he realizes he left it…he left the letter behind. It was done. No turning back. He felt sick to his stomach and like he was already grieving the loss of your friendship.

Sal tip toes back in the house, praying neither Neil nor Todd would catch him sneaking in so late and ask questions. He trudges to his room, shedding his clothes before flopping onto his bed. Sal lays on his side and after taking his prosthetic off, stares at the wall for hours thinking about all the ways this could go wrong, all the ways you could reject him, every excuse and lie he could use later to act like it wasn’t even serious, like it was a dumb joke or something. Finally, after his brain had tortured him enough, he drifts off to sleep just before the sun begins to rise.

~next morning~

‘Holy shit…’ You think as you hold the piece of lined note book paper in your shaky hands. “No way…no way!” A giddy smile grows on your face as you clumsily drop all the other mail you had in your hands, besides Sal’s letter, on the ground and take off running for him. It was early in the morning and you were in pajamas still but nothing could stop you now. His house was not far at all and you were too excited not to immediately run to him and profess your love for him.

You and Sal had been friends almost as long as he has with Larry and Todd. You’ve slowly fallen in love with him just as hard as he has with you- the issue is that you are both dummies and think the other person sees you as a friend and a friend only. You’d find yourself dreaming of Sal, not knowing he was dreaming of you too. You’d absentmindedly doodle his name on piece of paper and blush, he’d find a strand of your hair on his shirt and smile so big under his mask. You two have been pining for so long but both so afraid to wreck the relationship you already have. Eventually, Sal felt like he couldn’t get anything done, couldn’t focus on his studies or the ghosts or even eating throughout the day. His brain was full, flooded even, with thoughts of you. He just had to get it out, he had to say it to you now or he would be haunted by it forever. Unbeknownst to Sal…you felt the exact same way.

Bouncing up to his doorstep with an uncontrollable smile on your face, cheeks aching and turning red, you knock on the door and ball your fists up out of excitement. Finally, Todd answers the door, smiling at you before greeting you. “(Y/N)! What are you doing here so early? We-“ “Sal! I-I’m sorry. I need to talk to Sal.” You interrupt, your crazy smile making Todd chuckle softly just as Neil comes up behind him. “Morning, (Y/N)! Sal isn’t up yet. He’s still-“

You weren’t trying to be rude, you adored Todd and Neil but you were currently completely 100% hyperfixated on the sleeping blue haired poet behind the door at the end of the hall way and you just had to see him immediately. “I-I’m sorry…” You laugh softly as you push past them, sprinting for his door, gripping the knob excitedly before swinging the door open. The sound of the door swinging back against the door frame stirs Sally from his sleep, making him groan and glance over at the doorway. Before he can react to you being in his bedroom, in your pajamas still with bed head and an adorable love sick smile on your face, you’re jumping into his blankets with arms wide open. As you practically belly flop on top of him, he huffs softly then chuckles, groggily blinking at you.

“Uh…morning…” He mumbles just before you place the folded love letter on his chest, giving him a small smirk. His eyes open wider now, his prosthetic eye not in its usual socket. Sal scrambles nervously to sit up more, his breath hitching in his throat. He was so half asleep for a moment there, he had forgotten all about the letter he planted in your mailbox last night. “Oh I uh….yeah uh-uhm-“ Sal can’t seem to move his mouth correctly, can’t focus his brain on the words he wants to say. And he just breaks down even more when he realizes you’re in his bed, still in pajamas with the cutest messiest bed head. He can’t deal with the cuteness and his gnawing anxiety…So you speak up instead.

“I love you too.” You smile sweetly before pulling yourself up closer to his scarred face and rubbing your nose against his. Sal lets out a whiny little hum as he lets his nervous hands very slowly move up to rest on your back, smiling like a sappy dork as he hugs you softly. He’s not sure what exactly he was expecting to happen after giving you that letter but this is most definitely the best case scenario. “Let’s just…fucking kiss already.” You say with a cheeky smile, eyes half lidded as you lean in closer. Sal sucks in a breath before letting his eyes close along with yours, pursing his lips out as his hands move up your arms and to your cheeks. His big palms caress your face so perfectly, his thumbs sliding back and forth over your skin as you lock lips, gently moving your mouths together as soft sighs leave both of you.

As his hands pull your face closer, your hands wander up and down his bare arms, legs tangled up in his blankets along with him now, you couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh against his lips. “I’m glad you finally told me…that letter was so beautiful.” You whisper, lips gently ghosting against his now. Sal keeps his eyes closed but smiles brightly. “I wrote 153 of those letters.” He confesses, face burning bright red. “No you didn’t.” You scoff, looking down at him, finding this fact hilarious and also adorable and flattering.

“Oh yes he did!” Todd and Neil are leaning in the open doorway. Oops…you got so excited you didn’t shut the door behind you when you ran in. “Proof!” Neil laughs out loudly as he points to Sal’s trash can in the corner of the room, overflowing with balled up pieces of paper. You laugh as you look over, Neil and Todd laughing along with you. Sal drapes an arm over his face, trying to hold back his flustered smile and embarrassed expression. “Stoopppp.” He complains before you’re standing and playfully glaring at the two boys in the doorway. “That’s enough teasing. Shoo!” You grin at Todd before shutting the door on them and turning back to Sal.

“153, huh? Wow. That’s some dedication, lover boy.” You climb back into his bed, sitting cross legged beside him. “Why didn’t you just tell me in person, Sal? Would’ve been way easier.” You scoot closer to him and run your fingers through his tangled hair. “Uh, I totally disagree. I nearly had a panic attack just putting that letter in your mailbox and then having to walk away from it.” A laugh rings out from you as you toss your head back. “Ha! So, What? You’re afraid to say you love me but not afraid of ghosts or demons or cults?” You taunt him before leaning over to rest your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes for a second. “You’re strange. And I love that about you.” You rest there with him for a moment before a fantastic idea hits you, making you sit up and gasp excitedly.

“Can I read the other ones too?!” Before Sal can answer, you’ve jumped up and ran to the rejected pile of love letters in the corner. “No! (Y/N)! No no nononononono!” Sal jumps up and runs to tackle you, his face blushing so red from his ears and down his neck. You laugh loudly as he wraps his arms around your waist and tries to pull you away from all the other embarrassing things he wrote and considered saying to you. “They’re…in the trash…for a reason!” He laughs and huffs as you you push forward, trying to reach even just one crumpled up piece of paper. “Pleeaaassseeeee?” You plead but your strength leaves you as Sal tickles you and has you cackling on the ground instantly.

And the next 10 minutes are spent wrestling with him on the floor of his bedroom while laughing like drunk idiots and occasionally pressing a kiss to the other’s lips. Eventually, you do get ahold of a few of the discarded love letter drafts and they are either like Shakespeare poetry type shit, or so fucking dorky and corny, full of puns and shit. Larry probably tried to help him with that one lol

[juvenillia]

I saw your requests are kinda open so I wanted to ask if you'd share your thoughts about the love language of the task force 141? (Maybe add Konig because I want to see you write more about him)

hello anon and a huge thank you for my first request, I hope you like it, also keep requesting stuff, i love that aaah🤍

Love Language [headcanon]

Words of affirmation – physical touch – gifts – acts of service – quality time

a/n: Little brain rot in general I believe that everyone shows love very differently and therefore I think that everyone has all the love languages in them, some are just more distinct than others. I for example love to give gifts and quality time, but I am all over acts of service and physical touch (especially biting. If you are loved by me, you must manage the that I start to randomly bite you. I don’t make the rules.) But let’s talk about our men, I do believe all love quality time, especially due their jobs that drags them away from you so many times. But let’s dive into some detail. Feel free to discuss in the comments.

Charachters: Soap, Price, Ghost, Gaz, König

》 Masterpost 《

Johnny – Physical touch, will not argue about that. This man needs to be glued onto you even with the teeny tiniest spots of skin connected. You walk down the street; he has his arm around your shoulder. You sit in a pub with friends, his knee leaning against yours. You’re doing the dishes, hands slung around your waist. Driving, hand on your thigh. Even when you had an argument and turn around in bed to give him the cold shoulder, his foot will kind of touch you somewhere. Only the slightest not to push your mood even more, but he can’t stand to be separated from you. Deployment is already hard, but when you’re back together he’s all over you and will not stop until you make him. He respects your boundaries, especially in the public, but if you let him, he will do everything from the sweetest pecks to the filthiest strokes along your skin, no matter where and no matter who is around you. Plus, I believe that this Scot is a damn flirt. Words of affirmation is a go to, never fails to make you blush, and as soon as he takes notice of that he’s gonna push it further. Loves to make you all flustered and as soon as your face is burning like a volcano, he will pull you in and stroke your back, peppering you with quick kisses. Loves to praise you and compliments you and just showing off with his bonnie lass. Always makes sure everyone knows that you belong to him and still will flirt with you, like he wants to hook up with you all over again. Imagine him going to the bathroom while you’re out with friends and comes back later just to pretend he doesn’t know you to flirt and compliment you like a madman.

Price – To be very clear, this man is the perfect impersonator of all five love languages. He would never hesitate to reassure you about his love, compliment you in the cheesiest way, calling you all the petnames he can find, and his favorite is definitive and simply “mine” or even “Mrs. Price”, no matter if married or not.  He will always make sure that you are relaxed, so he definitely takes care of things around the house when he’s back from deployment. Making breakfast before you wake up, let’s be honest he will always be earlier up than you. Even if it’s really hard for him to leave the bed when you’re curled up in his side. Anytime he must go somewhere, no matter how far away or how long, he will bring you flowers when he returns. He goes for his morning run; he’s picking up some casual flowers at the way back. He comes back from a long deployment; he’s having a big ass bouquet waiting for you. When they have some time after missions staying in god knows what city, he will always buy a little thing as souvenir for you. Quality time and physical touch are for him one and the same. You’re sitting on the couch watching your favorite show, he will be instantly next to you and pulling you ins his lap. This man simply combines all of them in the most romantical and at the same time casual way possible. Everything if just easy going for him because he adores and values so much, he needs to show you in every way possible.

Ghost – My man, my beautiful, beautiful man is completely down for quality time and now mix that with acts of service. You’re curled up in an armchair reading your latest book, he’s on the couch next to you scrolling through his phone after he prepared you both your favorite cuppa. You sit outside on the patio, watching the clouds, he’s next to you smoking. You only have a thirty-minute break at work? He’s already waiting at the entry to the building, a bag with your favorite food and coffee in hand to keep you company. You complain about the errands you must run after work? Consider it done already. He wants to be at your service all the time, just say what you want, and he takes care of it. Also, if he can take care of all those things beforehand, there is much more time he can spend with you without things that annoy you.  Plus, he can read you like an open book. He is trained to read people, to observe and learn and with you it’s even easier. He wants to learn everything about you, just to be able to take care of everything that could cause you discomfort and prevent anything that let the smile he loves so much falter. So, he started very early to investigate your habits, triggers and pet peeves. You frown in a very specific way; he knows you already getting headaches because you didn’t drink enough. You sigh in a mumbling manner; he knows you need some cuddles. And don’t get me wrong, Simon does not, and I repeat he doesn’t despise physical touch. He just needs a lot of time to trust someone fully to let someone – you – come that close and if you’re patient with him, he will warm up and let you do all the things you want to. Physical touch is just not the way he would show you how much you mean to him (like all the time).

Kyle – He is an old-fashioned lover boy, so of course it’s words of affirmation. He loves to tell you how you make him feel, no matter what situation. Thanking you for choosing him, for making his life so much livelier. Complimenting you in such a smooth way, it never fails to make your heart jump. Just like Johnny I do believe he can be hell of a flirt, but somehow more reserved and subliminal. Praising and teasing you at the same time, whispering in your ears how beautiful you look and how grateful he is to call you his. He completely submitted to you and loves to do things for you. So, I’d also add acts of service. He loves to help you out. As soon as he’s the second day home again, he doesn’t let you lift a finger. The first day is reserved for cuddles and other intimate stuff. Always at your side, making sure you don’t have to anything but relax and enjoy his company. He likes to take you out, showering you in all the affection he holds for you. Opening doors for your, walking on the side of the sidewalk that’s closer to the street, relacing your shoes, carrying you over a puddle. You want ice-cream and waffles in the middle of the night? He’s driving god knows how long to get his girl happy.

König – Gifts, definitive gifts. He loves to spoil you. You’re looking at something in the store, and can’t decide between two colors, he’ll buy the one you didn’t get. You randomly mention that you saw that pretty necklace some time ago, it’s already in his cart. No matter what you want, or need, he’ll provide you with everything. Money isn’t important to him, but your happiness is. You casually mention you’d like to live in a house in a specific place or city. He’s already browsing to find the perfect house for your future. But it’s not about the big things all the time. Little things do the job as well, he thinks you might enjoy. Even if he finds a shiny rock that just looks pretty, he’ll bring it home to you. He wants to provide for your future, that you can just lean back and live a careless life. And shower him with your love. Therefore, I need to add physical touch to his top priorities. His hands all always all over you. He can be a cocky asshole, but in a lovely manner. Always teasing you with his words, making cocky jokes, but his hand on your cheek, his arm around your waist reassuring you that all he’s saying is meant in a loving way. Showing affection is never hard when he’s with you, always placing his head onto yours, a hand on your shoulder. Always having you close in for him like the best reassurance that you’re true with him. That you do love him and much more, that he can hold onto you. His hands gripping your hips and always pulling you close to him. Nearly scared to lose you at any point. Maybe a bit possessive, but in an adorable way.

[probably-writing-x]

Armour - Chapter Two

Rafe!AU x Reader

Summary: Having your heart broken was one thing. But Rafe watching somebody break your heart? That was something nobody could prepare for.

Warnings: Cursing, mentions/hints of a toxic relationship

Word Count: 3K

Author’s Note: I LOVE writing this series and this whole concept, I feel like I could carry it on forever - once again, this chapter was inspired by this gif so I feel like this might be an ongoing theme for this series <3 Thank you for the love y’all.

After that night, you hadn’t thought of James. You and Rafe had returned home and, when Sarah asked how your night was, you’d told her you’d slept better than you had done in days. She’d probably tell you that you were crazy for going round to the house, and tell Rafe he was stupid for getting himself involved. She’d tell him this was too much like the old Rafe, the one that craved the power and the fights, and that he wasn’t like that anymore. But you knew that little spark in Rafe would always stay - for the few people that he cared enough about to make sure that nothing bad happened to them. And you’d seen that last night, the way he’d spoken about you; someone fighting your corner.

“Good morning,” Rafe groans as he walks through to the kitchen, dragging a hand over his face.

He’s wearing a pair of joggers that hang low on his hips, accentuating the V-lines around the bottom of his abs, his torso visible for the few seconds as he struggles to pull a hoodie over his head.

“Is it even still morning?” Sarah laughs, pouring out another cup of coffee and handing it over to him.

“I had a busy day yesterday,” He rolls his eyes, “You know, travelling and all that.”

He sits down at the kitchen island beside you and offers you a small smile just before his lips touch the coffee mug, his eyes warm in the steam coming from the cup.

“Did you get up in the night, Rafe?” Sarah asks, settling a hand over her growing bump and leaning back against the kitchen counter.

He frowns over his coffee and shakes his head, “Nope, slept like a baby.”

“That’s weird,” Sarah frowns too, “I could’ve sworn I heard the door open.”

“Probably just baby brain,” He clears his throat, “I’m going to hop in the shower.”

Sarah watches with a suspicious squint in her eyes as he disappears, “I swear he gets weirder every time I see him.”

You laugh and look down as you feel a smile spread onto your face, you’d have to thank him later for last night.

Sarah comes over and takes the seat that Rafe had been sat in, shifting herself so that she’s facing you, “So, I need you to be honest with me, how are you feeling?”

You turn so that you’re facing her too and Sarah stretches out her hands for you to take, both of you squeezing into the contact, “I’m okay, so much better than I was. It’s just weird, you know? For nine years he was the person I told everything to. Even when we weren’t living together or anything, I’d wake up and send him a text or call him before I went to sleep. I keep getting this weird instinct to just reach for my phone because I feel like I haven’t heard from him and then I realise that… I don’t know, I won’t.”

She nods reassuringly but doesn’t say anything else, letting you continue.

“I just want to know why,” You laugh a little, “Not in a weird ‘what’s wrong with me’ kind of way. But just… it was nine years of my life, you know?”

“Okay, I maybe shouldn’t be suggesting this because I think, as the best friend, I’m meant to tell you to stay far away from him, but maybe it would do you some good to meet up with James and talk it all through. Do you think?”

After last night? You weren’t sure he’d ever want to see you again, especially if he thought Rafe would be with you again.

“Yeah, maybe, we’ll have to talk about everything at some point, I guess I-“

You’re cut off as your phone pings on the counter and a message notification comes up from James again.

I think we need to talk after yesterday. I’ll pick you up and we can go for coffee if you’re free?

Sarah eyes the message too, “After yesterday?”

“Right, yeah, with the box and stuff, I thought that was his final straw or something,” You look down so that she can’t realise that you’re lying, “Um, I better go and get ready, tell him that I’ll be free.”

You squeeze Sarah’s hand as you leave, hurrying up the stairs as if running from the conversation. She probably wouldn’t be too mad if you told her about last night, but she’d almost definitely tell you that it was a bad idea, that Rafe is a bad influence even all these years later. It was the same way you didn’t tell her about the night at the beach with Rafe, or the countless other nights like that - she’d tell you Rafe was her brother but it wasn’t a good idea. And you weren’t exactly ready to hear that.

You go into the bedroom that had become your own and close the door behind you, just as there is the sound of the ensuite door opening. Rafe steps out, a towel wrapped around his waist, beads of water dripping around his shoulders, dipping down from his soaked hair.

“Oh shit sorry I-“ Rafe comes to a halt, glancing up from his phone in his hand, “The shower in the other bathroom is terrible so I just… I thought you were downstairs so I-“

“Rafe, it’s fine,” You laugh, “Not anything I haven’t seen before.”

He fakes a gasp, “You’ll embarrass me, (Y/L/N).”

You roll your eyes, “I don’t think anything embarrasses you, Cameron.”

He chuckles and drags a hand through his wet hair, “So, I was thinking we should get out of the house today. I miss the beach when I’m in New York, one of the few things to miss about this place.”

“I actually,” You clear your throat, “I have something to do today.”

Rafe frowns for a second, “Ooh, mysterious,” He stretches out a hand and pokes at your side, “What are you doing?”

“I just,” You shake your head, “I have a meeting, you know, to sort out the house and stuff.”

“Oh, okay, cool,” He nods, “Well, be back by sunset and we can go for a swim. Sound good?”

“Sounds good,” You return, “Now please go and get some clothes on.”

“Keep it in your pants, (Y/N), you know you love me,” He wiggles his brows, exaggeratively swaying his hips as he walks out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Your eyes settle over the room, landing on the box still sat beside your bed. The rest of it was closed away now, but the shot glass and now your toy giraffe, sat on your nightstand. You smile a little at the sight, thinking only to yourself. It felt like a couple of brightened moments in a week you were sure wasn’t going to get any sense of light. Today would likely be another darkness, but you’d be coming home to another bright place.

~~~

Within the hour, you’re showered, changed and ready to leave, sat on the edge of your bed waiting for James to text. Twelve minutes after he’d said he’d be there, he texts to say he’s outside. You grab your jacket and hurry down the stairs, glancing back to see Rafe and John B stood outside in the garden. John B is pointing something out and he’s holding a plank of wood in one hand as if he’s preparing to build something. Rafe nods along and seemingly agrees, laughing at something John B says that seems to brighten up his eyes. Your heart sinks a little at the guilt that comes with the view, knowing he would hate to think of where you were going right now. But you open the front door and close it quickly behind you, hurrying down to the car waiting with the engine still running.

You open the door and climb in quietly, feeling oddly far when you don’t have to lean over to kiss him in greeting.

“Hey,” You breathe out when he doesn’t make any move to say it first.

“Hi,” James glances at you, “Where do you want to go?”

“Are there really many options?” You frown, settling your hands into your lap and picking at the skin beside your thumb to give you something to focus on.

James chuckles a little and moves to reverse out of the driveway, “Fair point, let’s go.”

He drives you the short distance across the island to the one coffee shop that anyone actually used here. It’s near enough empty as you step through, thanking James for holding the door open for you. You order your regular and he orders his, sitting at a table in the far corner as if sheltering yourself from the world.

“So, I would ask how you’ve been but that feels weird when I saw you yesterday,” James comments, dragging his finger around the rim of the coffee cup on the table, “But how have you been?”

You swallow down a sip of your drink, too hot so it scratches your throat as it goes, “I’m okay, and I’m sorry about last night.”

He shakes his head, “Look, it’s your house too (Y/N), at least until we sort everything out. I just don’t know why you didn’t text me. And why you thought you should just show up in the middle of the night with Rafe?”

You nod as if you’re being told off, “No, I know. It was stupid. It was late and we were just planning on getting in and leaving, I didn’t plan on you seeing him, and I especially didn’t want the two of you to argue, you know that.”

He’s silent in his agreement, pausing for enough time for it to settle before he says, “So why is he here?”

“He’s back from New York for a few days, just coming to see Sarah,” You explain, taking another sip of your drink and wincing as it burns at your tongue.

“Perfect timing,” James raises his brows momentarily as if being sarcastic, “I’m sure he was happy to see you.”

“Wha-“ You pause, reconsidering the idea of starting up an argument that he’s already ignited, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, (Y/N),” James rolls his eyes, “I know the way he used to be with you.”

“We’re friends, we’ve always been friends.”

Perhaps that wasn’t so true, just maybe. Before you and James got together, you’d been so sure that you and Rafe would be inevitable. There was the night you kissed at the party, there was the night on the beach with far too much alcohol, there were countless days and countless nights. Just as you were losing hope of him ever reciprocating your feelings, you’d seen him kiss a girl at another party, and you’d used that as confirmation enough. Two weeks later, you’d gone on your first date with James. Nine years later, you’d still never told Rafe how you’d felt before that - especially since the two of you had started living such different lives.

“I knew how he felt about you, it was obvious. God, the first time I met those guys he acted like I was the worst person he’d ever met,” James scoffs, “I thought he was going to rip my head off when I said we’d be moving away for college. He could’ve done the same last night, too.”

“You know, you don’t get to talk like that anymore. You split up with me. So it shouldn’t matter to you how anyone feels about me, whether or not that’s true,” You defend, tucking your arms around yourself as if closing yourself away from him.

“I don’t think I noticed it when we were in college, it was just me and you in our own little world and for a long time I thought that’s what would make us last. But we moved back here and it’s like everywhere you turn there’s another memory of you two - another piece of him that you’re holding onto even years later.”

“We’re friends. He means a lot to me. That’s what friends are.”

You let the silence fall.

He’s silent too and it surprises you. Normally, he would find any way to keep an argument going if he’d started it, he’d argue back and forth constantly until you agreed - he didn’t just let arguments end.

“I didn’t come here to argue with you,” He takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry for the way I ended things. I know I probably didn’t go about things in the right way, but I think if I’d have tried to do anything else I… well, I don’t think I’d have been able to do it.”

You feel the lump grow in your throat, the way it seems to constrict your words just a little too much as you say, “Then why did you?”

He breaks eye contact then and looks down at his cup, his finger still swirling around the edge in continuous circles, “Do you remember the first time we went out?”

“Our first date?”

“I picked you up from your house and I had to wait down the road because your parents might see me. And we went out, and I knew then that this was it for me, like within one date I’d just already decided,” He doesn’t meet your eyes, “And then I walked you home and I stopped around the corner again so that your parents wouldn’t see me. And you walked up to your house and Rafe was sat on the steps up to your porch, just waiting for you to get home.”

Your heart sinks at his words, like a weird feeling of not knowing the inevitable.

“And I guess for the past nine years that’s how it’s always felt; like Rafe was just waiting for you to go back home to him.”

“You’re blaming this on Rafe?” You raise your brows, your words feeling coarse and dry as you speak, “We were together for nine years. I chose you for nine years, every fucking day I chose you, and you want to tell me that you blame this on Rafe? That Rafe’s the reason you broke my heart?”

“Broke your heart,” James repeats, nodding slowly, “Your heart didn’t seem too broken last night.”

You let out a scoff and bite down just a little on the tip of your tongue as if trying to calm the anger bubbling out of you, “Right, yeah. I had one night where I felt a little bit fucking human again, after not sleeping, not eating, crying until I thought I’d be sick. After asking myself over and over and over again - what did I do? what should I have done? what’s wrong with me? And this whole thing you’re just going to blame on Rafe?”

“Where is he right now (Y/N)?”

You stop in your tracks, your hand clenching around the heat of your coffee mug, your words seeming to sink in the air between you.

James takes a long pause, his eyes scanning your face as if waiting for you to find the answer, “Waiting for you to come home.”

~~~

It’s an uncomfortable drive back. Neither of you speak a word. So much so that the tyres suddenly seem to make too much noise on the road, and you feel like you can hear the sound of the wheel turning under his grip. There’s a welcome relief when you watch the car turn into the driveway towards Sarah’s house, and an overwhelming dread when you catch the sight you know that James has seen too.

Rafe is sat on the steps in front of their house, the copy of To Kill A Mockingbird in his hands, a third of the way through the pages. He glances up at the sound of the car, a slight drop in his features as he recognises the face behind the wheel. He sets the book down on the side of the steps and stands up, his jaw clenching as you watch him.

James doesn’t say a word, but there’s the slightest tiniest hint of a smirk on his lips as if he’s been proven right about everything.

You wait until he cuts the engine and pull your seatbelt off, pausing before you push open the door, “I didn’t know that he’d be-“

James opens his own door and pushes himself out before you have a chance to say anything else. You follow suit quickly, scrambling out like the car’s on fire.

“Couldn’t wait to jump on her could you, buddy?” James bellows, storming over to Rafe.

“Excuse me?” Rafe looks taken aback, glancing at you as your eyes catch, “This is the house meeting you were talking about?”

“House meeting?” James looks at you, “So you couldn’t even tell him you were seeing me?”

“I just- I didn’t-“

“So what is it? You’re trying to come crawling back to her?” Rafe interjects and you flick your eyes to him as if a warning, though now he is only focused on James.

“You want to talk about crawling back? It seems pretty fucking convenient that you show your face around here the minute (Y/N)’s not got a boyfriend anymore.”

“Right, yeah, that’s why I’m here. Maybe it’s a good thing I came home, to pick up the pieces of the shit you left her in.”

In a conversation about yourself, you’ve never felt smaller. It’s like you’re shrinking into the space around them, disappearing when all of their anger is fuelled by you and focused on themselves. You’re sure you could disappear and they’d remain - hot headed in their hatred.

“Pick up the pieces? That’s what you think you’re doing?” James laughs, both of them practically steaming in their anger, “You’re not doing fuck all to help when you’re trying to get into her pants two seconds after she’s singl-“

“Enough!” You yell, sounding like the word has come from someone other than yourself as you feel your hands start to tremble.

Both of the boys silence, finally looking away from each other to focus on you, their anger sinking into the same pool as your disapproval. Rafe’s eyes seem to settle back into himself, like a realisation of how he’d been acting - he’d been doing the exact thing that he hated seeing in James, the way he ignored you in favor of his own focus. He looks like his younger self when you watch him. That anger, that hatred, the kind that he’d had before he moved away. That kind that gave him a million more problems. He’s that boy again.

“Just stop doing this, okay?” You drag a hand through your hair, “Neither of you get to talk on my behalf. Neither of you get to choose what’s best for me, or force this narrative of what you think is going on in my life. I’m sick of it. Have this masculinity battle some other time but god do it when I’m not here.”

With that, you disappear around the side of the house, shortcutting through the garden gate and finally letting yourself breathe, the tension in your chest seeming to return.

Rafe looks at James as if he could go again but in that moment all he can think of is you. The disappointment in your face as you’d walked away, the way you looked at him like you didn’t really know him. He drags a hand through his hair and all he can think of is how you tell him you’re sure he could suit any hairstyle. He stops himself from smiling, the urge fading when he looks at James again.

“So, what? Maybe a week or so and you’ll ask her on a date?” James folds his arms over his chest, “Or is a week just too long to wait? Hell, maybe you’ll be engaged within the month.”

“You know what, James,” Rafe clenches and unclenches his jaw, “Just go,” He waves his hand in the boys direction, his body turning away from him as if it’s gravitating back to you.

And with only the thought of you, he backs away from the fight.

~~~

You’re sat on the half-made dock at the end of Sarah and John B’s lawn, your feet pushing through the surface of the water aimlessly, eyes focused on the way the water curves around your ankles. Your chest has seemingly settled now but if you let yourself think of everything for too long it seems to flurry in anxiety again.

“Can I sit? Or should I put myself in time out?” The words come with the sound of footsteps creaking along the wooden planks, pausing as if they’re sure they are a safe distance from you.

You don’t turn around, “Sit, as long as you promise to be quiet.”

Rafe mumbles a ‘yes ma’am’ and takes his spot on the edge of the dock beside you. You feel him looking at you, his eyes burning into you as they scan your face. You weren’t crying and it seems to relieve the tiniest bit of worry within him. But you looked drained. Not tired in the way you were when he first saw you - but drained in the way that life seems to have been just slightly pulled away from you.

He opens his mouth to speak but stops as you lean back, fingers linking between your hands over your stomach as you lay against the dock. The sun hangs bright above you and you close your eyes, a deep breath forcing a rise and fall in your chest. Rafe watches you, the innocence in your features. He’d relied on those exact features for a lot of moments in his life. Your smile when he needed reminding of a good memory, the way your jaw clenches when you’re angry when he needed reminding of when he was in the wrong. Your eyes when he needed to come back home.

After a moment, he leans himself back too, his shirt wrinkling against the wood as he lays down, one arm tucking underneath his head. He turns his face towards you, observing.

You poke one eye open and squint in his direction, “Stop staring, weirdo.”

Rafe smiles, “So you’re not completely ignoring me,” He nods his head a little against his arm, “Does that mean I’m at like a six on the scale?”

“The scale?”

“The scale. How mad you are at something, you don’t remember?”

Of course you remember. When the two of you had been at school, he’d used that ‘scale’ as a way of you telling him how bad your day was - on the days when you had exams, and your friends were being shitty, and your parents were having problems at home, you’d say you were closer to a 10. It applied to everything - when he annoyed you, when you and Sarah had argued over something silly, everything.

“I’m a seven.”

He laughs a little and it seems to sit welcomingly in the space between you, easing the clench in your chest just enough.

The two of you stay in silence for a while after that, watching the sun disappear momentarily behind a cloud, casting a welcome shade over the water. You focus on the rise and fall of your chest, breathing in and out deeply to avoid the discomfort coming from laying on the dock. Rafe stays still beside you for a while, before his leg slightly shifts to the side so that his knee knocks against yours. You fight back a smile and turn around to look at him;

“Yes?” You raise your brows.

He pushes himself up so he’s leaning over you on his elbows, his head blocking the sun out so you can look at him without completely squinting against the light.

“I’m sorry,” He nods, “I really did have no idea you were with him, I was just waiting until you got back. And I don’t know, as soon as he said that I just felt like I lost it. It was weird, I don’t think I’ve felt angry like that in years.”

You nod in response, watching the guilt cast a darkness over his features.

“How did it go with you two today?”

You push yourself to lean up on your elbows too, matching his stance as he settles back to his side of the dock.

“Well, he’s not your biggest fan,” You laugh a little, staring out on the stillness of the water, “I don’t know, it just seems like he wants to think our relationship was doomed from the start, like we were just putting off the inevitable.”

“Well, did you ever feel like that?”

You take a deep breath, “I don’t think so. I don’t know, I just thought we’d stay together. God, I think after our third anniversary I was pretty certain that this would be it. But after what he said today it just feels like the two of us had been in two different relationships for all this time. And now I’m thinking, why didn’t he ever propose? Why did he want to move back here when I had my whole life at college? I mean, shit, Sarah’s having a kid and I was still just a girlfriend after nine years.”

Rafe nods, “Yeah I know what you mean. He was crazy for not wanting to marry you after all that time.”

You turn your head to look at him but he stays looking out over the water dismissively.

“God, who wouldn’t want to marry you?”

You feel your heart swell for just a second and turn your head away from him to look back over the water, both of you letting the silence fill in the empty gaps of the conversation you hadn’t yet had, that you didn’t need to have just yet.

“So, the sun is about an hour from setting,” Rafe points out, “How about that swim?”

~~~

You make your way back downstairs with your swimsuit on, a towel held under one arm, your flip-flops slapping against the wooden steps.

“Hey! I feel like I haven’t seen you today, how did it go with James?” Sarah stands up from the couch as you come downstairs, “Are you going out?”

You glance out at the garden, Rafe not visible along the stretch of the lawn, “Yeah, I’m just going for a swim. And it went well with James, a little bit of closure at least. Still feels weird.”

“It’s bound to,” Sarah nods, reaching out a hand to squeeze your arm, “Did you tell Rafe that you saw him?”

“Um, yeah, yeah, he knows,” You scratch at the back of your neck.

“God, I’m surprised he didn’t flip. I don’t think there’s anyone he hates as much as he hates James,” Sarah shakes her head.

You’re about to speak again but are cut off by the sound of the garden door sliding open. Rafe appears on the other side, poking his head through the created gap between the door and the wall.

“You ready to go (Y/L/N)?” He looks at you, a soft smile on his lips, a sort of calm resting in his features.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” You return softly and he nods, disappearing again.

“He’s so different when he sees you,” Sarah shakes her head, glancing over at the spot where her brother had just been.

“Different how?” You frown, letting your eyes trail back to her.

She shrugs her shoulders and rests a hand over her bump, running her fingers over the skin, “Just like he’s grounded, like he’s home.”

You feel the lump form in your throat, the way it once again makes it feel impossible to think of anything to say.

“Go on, he might be grounded but he’s still impatient,” Sarah jokes, gesturing her head in the direction of the door.

You laugh and follow her instruction, closing the glass door behind you as you walk down to the dock. Rafe is sat on the edge, his legs dangling over into the water. In only his swim-shorts, you can see the contortions of his muscles across his shoulders, the way they dip in his skin and seem to make him look bigger than he ever seemed normally. His skin isn’t as tanned as you remember him being but you suppose he doesn’t get as much sun when he’s in New York - not the kind he got here, anyway. And part of you seems to remember just how distant he was nowadays, his return feeling all the more temporary.

You hang your towel over the edge of the dock next to his and pull off your flip flops, leaving them at the edge too before breaking into a sprint straight past him. Your arms outstretch in front of you and break the surface of the water first, submerging your underneath until your toes feel the cold of the still water too.

Your head breaks the surface and you drag your hands up to draw your hair way from your face, now slick against your scalp.

“Very graceful,” Rafe smirks, “How on earth do I follow that?”

You watch him stand from the dock, stretching upwards before taking a few steps back. Within a split second, he catapults himself into the air, drawing his knees upwards so that he lands in a cannonball into the water, spray dispersing into the air and all over you.

“Well, I wouldn’t call that graceful,” You laugh, blinking away the water from your eyes.

From where Sarah and John B’s house was, you could see the sunset through a clearing in the trees if you swam around to the right angle. And you and Rafe knew the islands well enough to know exactly where to go.

By the time you swim around, the sky is painted with a yellow hue, sun lowering down seemingly a few feet from the horizon.

“I’m sorry about today,” Rafe breaks the silence, turning himself in the water to face you.

You kick forward so that your body tilts back, head hanging into the surface water, “You already said that.”

“I know, I just hate when I feel like I’ve disappointed you,” He comments, watching the way your body floats in the water.

You smile a little to the sky, “You didn’t disappoint me.”

He pauses for a moment, “So, I didn’t ask you earlier but, did he tell you the reason why he ended things?”

Your body tilts to turn you upright once again in the water, hands pushing through either side of you to maintain your position, eyes locking onto him. His hair is slick against his head and there are small beads of water trailing down either side of his cheeks, looping around under his jawline. He’s home. For the first time in years, he’s back here and it feels like it’s actually him - not some replaced or changed version. You’re both back to being sixteen again, sneaking liquor out of your houses, staying up until the sun called you home, misfit ways of surviving life in this isolated haven. And you realise it then, for a fleeting moment where you let yourself accept it - it’s Rafe that makes this place home.

“He…” Your voice trails off then, considering every possible outcome that would come in return for telling Rafe exactly what had been said earlier, exactly what you’d come to learn.

But the moment is fleeting. And you’re back in seconds to a reality. To a broken heart and a broken home, to New York, to your future, to James, to Sarah just a matter of metres away, to everything and everyone that you didn’t want to lose. To Rafe.

“He couldn’t give me a reason,” You swallow the lump in your throat, your eyes not breaking away from Rafe.

“The guy’s an idiot,” Rafe shakes his head, turning away from you and towards the sun.

You watch as he does, watching the glow that radiates from his skin, the way it seems to warm the air around him.

James might be an idiot, but maybe he was right.

———

Taglist: @viianey

[acourtofthought]

Lol you're hilarious. Everything about the story and SJM's recent online activities AND the articles point towards elriel endgame but y'all will only stop when elriel is announced I guess.

Anons like this are always better than a cup of coffee because wow, do they wake my brain up in an instant.

Articles pointing to an E/riel endgame? You mean articles written by journalists who never sat down with SJM and who never even spoken to the author or Bloomsbury regarding the content? Articles that were factually incorrect, one originally claiming that SJM was the author of the Elemental series with a hyperlink to a different authors Amazon page? Journalists who definitely are not more qualified than Sarah's own best friend who is on record as saying she doesn't think E/riel is happening?

Also, if we're really claiming her posts as possible clues of which we have zero evidence they are, those clues suggest Elain more than any ship.

Bloomsbury tweeted flowers and fire (not stars or a night sky). Which actually would hint at Lucien over Az.

She had the book of flowers displayed during her live. It's cute how some tried to claim there was a black bat on the spine of the book but alas, it was a blue petal.

She wore a Bambi sweater with flowers during an IG and yes that sweater was on a black background but only because that's how the shirt is produced. I'm sorry but you can't be so ridiculous as to think that the author would want to wear that particular sweater (something she's owned for years as it was mentioned in another article from way back when) but second guess herself because the black background it was already on might have people thinking it hints at Az.

The Spring story had nothing, NOTHING to connect to Az but if you recall from the actual books, Lucien is permanently stationed in the Spring Court.

Let's break down the Az clues you're so confident in.

She was writing ACOTAR 5 in September. She was already into the process to the point that she was obsessed with the book, that it felt like having a crush, that she was so focused on it she didn't even have time to make a treat for her childs school. So that probably means she was at least a few chapters in? A third in? In February, about 5 months later, she did a fan made bracket (that did not include Lucien). and said Az was someone she'd be exploring more in the future.

She wrote the current version of HOFAS in a month. If she had already been working on ACOTAR 5 and had already spent 5/6 months writing about Az, why would Az be someone she wanted to explore more in the future? Shouldn't she have already explored him in e/riels book?

The post where SJM went up North to draft and stopped in front of a small body of water in the middle of the mountains? Guess what, Koschei's LAKE is hidden in a forest, surrounded by mountains. Illyria is not the only place in their entire world with mountains and pine trees. Also, Vallahan is surrounded by mountains on the map! Places SJM could easily have written about in this next book, places more connected to Lucien, Elain and Vassa. And as mentioned above, she said she was up north to draft. It is now 7 months since she did the Live interview talking about how she was working on ACOTAR 5. Chances are, whatever she was up North drafting is not ACOTAR but her next project.

Onto Guilty as Sin. My point mentioned above twice still stands. Why are you assuming it made her think of a book that's probably already written rather than a book she may be working on? Maybe it gave her the feels for the LoA / Helion's love story as they were forbidden lovers who were not yet lovers in their youth. Sarah has often spoken about wanting to write an ACOTAR book set in the past, maybe it's time for theirs. Mor heard rumors that the LoA waited before agreeing to Beron's proposal, after having met Helion at an Equinox the previous year. Helion claims that he heard her family wanted ties to power. At that time (before they ever had an affair), the LoA and Helion would have been forbidden because he had no real power. If you recall, he only became HL during Amarantha's reign after she killed the HL of Day and most of their family. Or maybe she is writing about the Seraphim from 500 years ago, before the first war. Where Miryam and Drakon fell in love when she was with Jurian.

Would it honestly make sense for her to be excited about a song that she just heard for the first time three days ago over a book that should be finished save for maybe final edits?

I like imagining how these things might hint at Elain and Lucien too, it's fun in this drought of ACOTAR info. But I don't have such blinders on that it makes me unable to consider other possibilities.

Stop claiming you see the whole picture when you are only selecting the puzzle pieces you like best. Trying putting the entire thing together if you want to have a chance at sounding like you know what you're talking about.

You guess we'll stop when e/riel is announced? You mean the ship that ended on Solstice, the ship Elain did not shed a single tear over the way she cried for Graysen (someone we know that she loved)? Elain returned Az's necklace and never once looked like she was struggling with moving on. What kind of Elain stan are you, having Elain daydream of being with the guy who rejected her and couldn't confirm real feelings to his own brother? Are doormats now the rage?

I think I remember the Bryce / Az shippers saying the same thing, how we'd see when CC3 was released, but guess who was victorious on that front? The people who believed Bryce was ending up with her mate.