#and my coworkers. but they're not my friends. there isn't anyone at work I would hang out with outside of work.

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

I wish it wasn't so difficult to maintain friendships. I miss having a lot of friends.

[nexus-nebulae]

yearning has gotta be the worst emotion ever invented why do i gotta want things that are physically impossible for me to achieve

[steddieas-shegoes]

Modern AU where Eddie is a tech repair person at an apple store in Chicago while he tries to make it big with his band and Steve is a spoiled rich kid who is trying to cover up that he's been using his macbook to film for his OnlyFans or something similar and he needs that shit wiped.

Eddie is as professional as he can be, but can't help but be amused at Steve being worried that he's gonna see everything.

S: seriously, just wipe everything. nothing has to be saved. don't even look through each file. just start over. E: okay sure. but you know you could just buy a new laptop. S: my dad checks my credit card statements. E: okay, so tell him you bought it for a friend or something. S: just. can you wipe it? E: yeah i can.

Eddie doesn't let him know that he already has seen everything because of course he subscribes to S.H. and often leaves him bigger tips than he can afford. He doesn't even know why Steve does it since he's apparently rich, or his dad is.

It only takes a few hours to wipe it, and Eddie's grateful he managed to help Steve instead of his coworker who is a certified Creep ™️ who absolutely would have made sure to watch as many of the videos as he could first.

He calls Steve and leaves a message for him that it's done, but doesn't hear back and Steve doesn't come by. He does the same thing again the next day, and the day after that, starting to grow concerned.

He goes so far as to check Steve's OF page, just to see if there's an update, but sees it's been shut down, like it never existed.

He finally caves, does the most unprofessional thing he's ever done, and texts Steve's number from his own phone.

This is Eddie from the apple store. Your laptop's ready. Just want you to know after 30 days we usually get rid of unclaimed items.

There's no response.

But two days later, Steve comes into the store wearing sunglasses and a hat, clearly trying to hide.

When he takes off the sunglasses to sign everything, Eddie sees a healing black eye and swollen nose.

He isn't stupid.

And he suddenly feels extremely protective over him.

E: did your dad find out? S: find out what? E: about your online job? S: how do you know? E: I wasn't gonna say anything, and I swear everything got wiped without anyone including myself seeing, but I do subscribe to you and I recognized you when you came in. S, already having a panic attack: shit no. this is bad. okay you can't say anything about this to anyone. please. E: I wouldn't, I won't. but your dad found out didn't he? he did this to you? S: *nods* E: you safe now? S: *shrugs* E: need a place to stay? S: i've been saving. that's why i did this in the first place. so i can pay rent somewhere. E: I have a second bedroom at my place that just opened up. up to you.

And of course Steve takes it because he's desperate, and doesn't have real world experience with a lot of strangers, but has a good feeling about this.

Eddie finds that Steve is a very typical rich kid; ignorant to a lot of the world's struggles, but not an asshole despite his bitchy attitude sometimes coming out, thinks money can fix everything until Eddie shows him that apologies and a cuddle on the couch can be better.

Steve is so touch starved, he doesn't even realize the way he always folds into Eddie's side when they're just relaxing and watching a movie, or how he always lets his hand brush against his side or hand when Eddie gets home from work. Eddie helps him look for a job, and they find that he loves working at a daycare even though the money isn't that great.

They fall in love so easily, neither of them actually realize it happens until Steve comes home after a very long day before the Christmas holidays, covered in paint stains from crafts with the kids, and Eddie just welcomes him home with a kiss.

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Gonna throw my hat into the ring here, as someone who very recently had a streamer they loved and supported go down for serious allegations and crimes. Feel free to skip around my long ass response, I'll break it down into parts:

---Public Reception

Part of the reason I despise these situations is because people online don't ever know enough to make 100% accurate assessments, but will act like they do anyway (I don't care if its authoritarian, I want a bill where people on Twitter can't post about drama until after at least 5 minutes of being forced to critically think). Having said that, here's my opinions on how everything should go forward:

-Shelby shared her story in order to spread awareness on domestic abuse and the signs, so that others can read those signs and keep themselves safe (or leave an actively abusive situation they've been convincing themselves isn't that bad). That is the priority here, that is what people should be focusing on. If you make this situation about stirring drama with the other CCs, you're a dumbass and you need to stop posting. Give support to Shelby, uplift the voices of women like her sharing their stories, spread awareness on what domestic abuse can look like so everyone can learn, and wait for more information. Its that simple.

-CCs don't owe statements for conflicts they weren't involved in. Philza, Tommy, Quackity, Charlie, and other CCs close to Wilbur who aren't part of this don't owe you an explanation. They're people, they're most likely having to come to terms with the fact that a dear friend, someone who could've been like family, isn't who they thought he was. Have a fucking heart and cut it with the parasocial entitlement. I'm hoping Quackity will remove Wilbur from the Qsmp, but just like with Forever, he probably won't make a big announcement of it, and that's perfectly ok. I understand wanting to make sure you're not supporting a CC who would defend someone guilty of committing domestic abuse, but its still not your right to get anything from these people. If they share, they share. If not, then they don't. If you can't handle that, then leave.

-Having said the above, its worth noting that CCs aren't just a fun group of friends, they're coworkers. Much of what they say publicly and when they say it can be shaped or restricted by situations that can affect their careers or get them in legal trouble. You don't know these people personally or what goes on behind the scenes, its a network and you can't measure their responses the same way you would your own opinion piece. The CCs will always need to be careful about how they respond to an issue, and they will most likely respond in "safe" ways considering what's on the line. Not accusing anyone of anything, nor demonizing them for it, just something to keep in mind. They're human, but they're also working a job.

-If you have Lovejoy or Wilbur-related merch, DON'T THROW IT AWAY OR DESTROY IT. I've seen lots of people pointing out merch can be donated to thrift shops or shelters, and its more eco-friendly than burning or trashing. Remember, anything can be repurposed; a book, a hoodie, there's always someone who can find a use for it. Likewise if you want to keep your old merch, that's fine to. You can wear it if it brings you comfort, or if its something you just like the look of. As long as you're not supporting the source, you already have the merch so don't let people pressure you into thinking you're bad for keeping it if you're not ready to let go/throw away those $70.

---My Opinion Regarding His Response

Everyone and their cousin has been dogpiling on Wilbur's response (rightfully), but I think people online don't understand how public responses work when there's legal team and PR interference. The tweet for me had a weird lack of personal touch and emotion from the guy I've observed to be very personal in his writings, whether its his music or a community post about a life update (blah blah parasociality I know, but I'm letting you know the observations I've made of his behavior simply as someone who notices these things). He also never explicitly stated Shelby's name, rather saying "that person" (you even had the textbook 'black text on a blank white background' screenshotted response). Finally, there was a consistent standing on Wilbur 'not being aware of how the other person really felt' regarding his actions. What I'm trying to say is... y'all really gotta start putting two and two together. Its a textbook PR response. As in, I'd be surprised if Wilbur had over 50% involvement in making it because the wording is exactly how it reads when a response has been initiated by someone's lawyers rather than themselves. The reason he doesn't take more accountability and openly admit to having abused Shelby (other than the obvious public backlash) is probably cause his lawyers are banking on the feigning ignorance angle, that Wilbur didn't intentionally abuse Shelby and was ignorant to how his actions affected her. Its the best way to get him out of hot water on the legal side, because again, this isn't messy drama; its a genuine accusation of a crime. I don't think the response is tone deaf and unaware, I think its a deliberate and measured legal move not even fully created by Wilbur himself. This isn't to say I think he's innocent, but I do know that Shelby and others have brought up some serious accusations, and Wilbur is lawyering up as a result.

---Nuance

Prefacing this part by saying that things are not looking good for Wilbur in regards to what other CCs have brought up about him, and I fully believe and support Shelby, hence why I support that the community should start distancing from him and his work. But I would like to take this opportunity to look into the greater aspects at play. We are within a system that brings up men to do what they want without teaching them to be considerate and aware of the consequences. Men are taught their harmful behavior is perfectly fine, often at women's expense, which makes these situation a very different story depending on who's telling it. Its because of this that we need to critically analyze the system and how it causes men to turn out as they do, instead of giving an immediate opinion without any nuance.

There's a possibility that Wilbur is being genuine in not realizing how bad his actions were. There's a possibility he truly is a manipulative liar who knew exactly what he was doing. He could be a piece of shit. He could be genuinely trying to improve and do better. We don't know. I'd say its pretty cut and dry that he hurt Shelby, and for that I'm glad she's getting justice for herself and spreading awareness. But if we're to entertain the idea of redemption, we need to look at situations like these with nuance so that we can understand the "why". I'm not trying to justify Wilbur's actions or even give him the benefit of the doubt, I have no idea what's going on in that guy's head. I'm just putting this out there because its something I want everyone to think about, especially when it comes to topics regarding narcissism and mental health issues. Don't support him or Lovejoy, just keep something like this in mind for the future.

---The Community/Now Displaced Fans

To everyone who's immediately telling Wilbur's fans (the ones that don't support his actions and are actively mourning no longer being able to enjoy his stuff) to just listen to other music or move on, and who are celebrating each negative new thing that comes out about Wilbur's current status, sincerely, shut the fuck up. You are completely lacking in empathy or emotional intelligence, and what you're doing is the last thing the community needs. Wilbur and his work could have and for many did get fans through some of their hardest moments, and losing that wonderful sense of community you get from streamers and their work (especially with the roleplay stuff) is awful. It fucked me up losing that after almost a year, for some of his fans its been even longer.

If you're a (former) fan of his, its ok to feel like shit. We're human, we get attached and we grieve losing something like this because that's how capable we are of loving. Take your time, as long as you know where to stand (supporting Shelby and raising awareness on domestic abuse), you're doing good. You can keep enjoying his characters and work and making content about it, separating the art from the artist (though don't stream his music from platforms that would give him the money, find a way to pirate it).

This sucks. I feel it as a casual fan who was once hugely into his content, I can imagine what its like for those who were huge supporters all the way up until now. You didn't do anything wrong supporting someone you thought was a good person, its just a thing that happens and its so fucking shitty. You ain't alone though, I know some of you have that knee-jerk reaction to avoid anything to do with him but reaching out to others in the community and actually processing it all is way better, you won't be bottling it all up. Don't be afraid to continue engaging with this part of your life until you're ready to move on from it in your own time, and be kind to yourself. From someone who went through exactly what you are now, trust me, you'll get through it.

[analogwriting]

The Walk-in

Killer x gn!reader (afab edition) word count: 4.2k amab vers. a/n: i got this idea from a revelation i had about how im pretty sure every walk-in in every restaurant ever has been boned in at least once. my source to site is me bc ive been working in the food industry since i was, like, 12.

“Oh my god, y/n, have you seen the new cook?” Your best friend, Wire, spoke up from behind the bar. He was currently wiping it down, preparing for the rush that would be starting soon. 

You were bussing tables when he spoke up, you paused, walking over to him and tossing the rag over your shoulder. “I haven't. Isn't he a friend of the owner’s son or something?”

“Yeah. Met him in college.”

“Ah. Friend hire.” You made a face, causing Wire to laugh. He knows how much you weren't a fan of people being hired just because they knew someone who worked there - especially when it came to the owner. “They never last.” You shook your head. 

“Oh, c'mon. I heard his cooking is great.”

You raised an eyebrow as you went back to wiping down tables. “Biased opinions, probably. Of course they're gonna say his cooking is great. But good cooking isn’t everything in this line or work. You and I both know that.”

Wire had a thoughtful look on his face as he nodded. “That's true.” There'd been plenty of instances where a good cook was hired, but they couldn't deal with the rush or crazy customers. None of them would last through the night. “He seems like he'll hold well.”

You snorted, standing up and folding your arms across your chest. “That's what you said about the last guy.” You rolled your eyes with a grin. The poor sap didn't last half an hour. 

“I was being optimistic?” You snorted and shook your head. “Oh sure. Optimistic.”

“I'm sure he'll become overwhelmed and leave within the hour.” That was your bet. You didn't usually expect much from newcomers, especially friend hires. 

“Wow, not even giving me a real shot, huh?” A deep voice came up from behind you. A shiver ran down your spine - not from fear, but from the sheer attractiveness his voice had. Oh shit.

You turned around and the air left your lungs as the most beautiful and sexy man stood behind you. You blinked, trying to find words to say but your brain wasn't fully caught up with the situation. Holy shit, this was the finest man you'd ever seen in your life. 

“You must be the head server with the high expectations then.” You opened your mouth to say something - only for nothing to come out. You glared over at Wire who held his hands up in surrender with a shit eating grin on his face. He knew that this man was exactly your type and chose to retain that information. 

A sly grin spread across the cook's face. “Cat got your tongue? Where'd all that barking go?” 

Your eyes widened, one of them twitching. Oh, he had a mouth on him too. It was on. 

Finally, your brain caught up. It'd felt like eternity, but it was only a few seconds. You folded your arms across your chest, an unimpressed look crossing your features. “I believe I am giving you a chance, just don't have high hopes. Can’t in this line of work - takes a special breed.” 

You looked him up and down. Fuck, he was fine as hell. “Anyway. They say you're a good cook. The customers will be the judge of that. That's not all, however. Where most people fumble is service itself. Always ends up being too much for people - too busy.” 

Then your brain circled back to what he had said earlier. “And of course I have high expectations. I only want what's best for this place and I don't need people wasting mine or my coworkers time.” 

The man before you just had an amused look on his face as he watched you. That irritated the shit out of you for reasons you couldn’t specify at the moment. “Don't worry, I won't be wasting anyone's time. I assure you, I won't be going anywhere either. You better get used to me now,” he crooned, leaning in as he spoke.

Your eyes narrowed at him. You wanted to punch him in his smug little face. “I've had plenty like you, too. Big talk. Think they'll last. Usually, they're the quickest to leave. Honestly, I’m being generous with an hour.” 

He chuckled, straightening back out. “We'll see when I'm still here after rush then, huh? If I stick it out, which I will, what do I get for winning the bet?”

The sheer audacity of this man. You stared at him, but didn't hesitate in your answer. “A job, duh.” You rolled your eyes. “I don't have time for this. I have a floor to prep.”

The cook laughed. It was one of the most beautiful sounds you ever heard. Damn, you must just be horny. It had been a while since you've gotten laid, but you also had a rule of never sleeping with your coworkers. You didn't knock others for doing it, you just didn't personally. You felt it made things complicated - though you were also an overthinker. Too many what ifs. What if it didn’t work out? What if you hated working together? What if you spent too much time together? What if, what if, what if?

“I'll see you after dinner rush then.” He winked at you and your heart almost stopped. Jesus fuck, you were down bad for a man you wanted to strangle. He walked off, leaving you standing there with Wire. You watched him leave, admiring his fat ass as he left before you turned back to your best friend.

He burst into laughter and you narrowed your eyes. “You're the worst, you know that?” That caused him to laugh harder. “Oh my god. I was just waiting for the moment for the part where you both just tear off each other's clothes and start going at each other right there, holy shit.”

Your face immediately warmed up. “Shut up, Wire. No one asked you.” You folded your arms across your chest with a frown. “You could've fucking warned me he was hotter ‘n hell.” 

Wire laughed again. “And miss the look on your face? That was priceless. I've never seen you be so taken aback before. The great y/n rendered speechless by the new cook.”

“Don't call him the new cook. He's gotta prove himself first.”

Another chuckle came from your best friend and he shook his head. You sighed, looking in the direction said man had left.

“What are you thinking about now?”

“How it's a shame he's not a baker with all that cake he's got. And how I wouldn't mind him icing mine.” Wire burst into laughter again and you just shook your head, clicking your tongue. “Too bad he won't last.”

Your attention shifted to the customers that walked in and you headed over to greet them. 

--

Rush was busier than usual. It was always insane, but it was even more so tonight. This was something you usually lived for, the chaos of the floor. It kept things interesting and helped time fly by. Slow nights drove you insane, which is why you were always scheduled the busiest nights too. Plus, you were insanely good at your job.

Being head server, your main job was just making sure that things were going out on time, keeping tabs on your servers, and taking care of any customer issues. You were technically a manager, yes, but you liked the title of head server better.

However, you could feel eyes on you all night. Yes, that's typically normal considering you're a server, but this was different. You also knew exactly who the culprit was. The new fucking cook. Every time you headed to the back or to the window, his eyes were on you. You'd glance at him, catching him red handed. 

Only, he didn't look away like most people. He kept his stare, only offering up a grin and the occasional wink as he cooked. Your body heated up every time, flustered that he was so casual.  Your mind was running wild with what you wanted him to do to you. You tried to keep yourself busy, but the growing heat across your whole body was making it hard. 

You tried to lie to yourself, saying it was because rush was busier than usual and you were running around even more. Every time you finally started calming down, he seemed to appear out of nowhere with his stupid smile, sending you into a spiral again. 

You could honestly punch him, that might just solve your problems. He was aggravating in every sense of the word. His cocky attitude was getting to you, making you even crabbier than you already had been. You were trying your best not to take it out on your fellow servers or the customers. It was fine for the most part. 

After rush, you asked another server to cover the one table you had left so you could take a minute. You immediately beelined it to the walk in. You flung the door open, unbuttoning your shirt a few times as you walked in. You closed your eyes, listening to the hum of the fans keeping it cool, and taking a deep breath as you fanned yourself with your hand.

Then the door opened, revealing the new guy. Someone mentioned his name was Killer. Funny. You wonder how he ended up with a stupid nickname like that. 

You glared at him as the smug smile spread across his face. Unfortunately, you knew he didn't end up leaving. His eyes being glued to you all night constantly reminded you that he had proven you wrong. He actually had done pretty well and the customers seemed to enjoy his cooking. He'd be sticking around as long as he wanted now - the job was his. Which also meant you had to deal with the fact that you were going to have to see him almost every day. 

“Guess you're stuck with me now, huh?”

“What are you even here for? Just to bother me?” You were in a foul mood and it was all his fault. You weren’t in the mood for his cocky attitude or ‘I told you so’ right now

“Well, I originally came back here to grab something but now I don't even remember what it was supposed to be now that you're in front of me looking like that.”

You looked down at yourself, confused. “What? Gonna make fun of me?” You were disheveled and hot, your skin flushed in some places. 

“No. You actually look really good like that.” A lazy smile appeared on his face as he folded his arms and leaned against the shelves. What the hell was he doing?

You could feel your body growing warmer despite the cooler air being blown at you. “The hell is your fucking angle? You've been staring all night and now you’re saying weird shit.” 

He blinked, raising his eyebrows. “And here I thought I was being obvious.” 

You stared at him for a moment as your head spun. What did- oh. Your eyes widened slightly and his grin grew. “Now you got it.”

Though, he didn't have much time to say anything else before you essentially pounced on him. You couldn't take it anymore, he'd been riling you up all night and you were at your wits end. And he was here, basically telling you to screw him. Actually, literally. 

You had walked over, grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and kissed him hard. He grinned into you, wrapping his arms around you. “Finally,” he mumbled. 

You shook your head. “Don't let your big mouth ruin it.” He just laughed before kissing you again, patting your ass. You took the hint, hopping up and wrapping your legs around him. He held you with ease, hands firmly on your ass as he pinned you to the shelves. He squeezed you hard, making a small whine escape your lips. 

Your own hands pressed against his chest before pausing. You felt something through his shirt. “Oh my god - are your nipples pierced?” You had never moved faster than you were right now as you undid his shirt. 

He blinked in confusion at your sudden shift of attention, disoriented and a little pouty that you pulled away like you did.

You opened his shirt and, lo and behold, piercings. Your eyebrow raised and a grin spread across your face. “Now, that's hot as hell,” you mused as you ran your hands across his broad chest and piercings, tugging at them a bit. You heard him inhale slightly but before you could play much further, you were set on the ground, lips attacking your neck. 

You felt his teeth graze your neck before lightly biting at you as a hand slipped past your waistband and you felt him begin to toy with you. Getting right to business. 

Immediately, you melted into him, your hands gripping his shirt as your breathing grew shallow and labored. You cursed under your breath, your legs spreading slightly to give him better access. You definitely didn't see yourself shagging this man so quickly, if at all, and especially in the walk in. Who the hell were you at this point?

Though, it wouldn't be the first time someone hooked up in here and it also wouldn't be the last. You just never thought it'd be you.

“Fuck,” you whined, feeling his fingers circle your clit before sliding down further and a single finger teasing your folds. He kissed you again, patting your thigh. Once again, you knew what he was asking, hiking up your leg and he held it as one of his thick fingers slipped inside of you. You gasped, moaning against him. Fuck, you hated how much you were loving this. The last thing he needed was an ego boost. 

But honestly, you were too horny to care. 

You were ripped out of what little thoughts you had when he slid in another finger, moving them around inside you. You moaned loudly, causing him to kiss you once more to keep you quiet. Sure, the walk in had the constant fan to keep things cool and it muffled noise, but it wasn't completely soundproof. 

Knowing your coworkers, if they noticed both of you gone, they more than likely put two and two together. Especially the longer you were gone. You were kind of surprised that no one checked the walk-in yet, they were typically nosey as hell. 

Your moans were growing louder and you rolled your hips against his hand, wanting more. “You're a noisy one, hm?” 

“Says the one who cant shut the fuck up,” you mumbled back, breathlessly. He just grinned, inserting another digit, causing you to shudder and moan again. He moved his fingers around, his thumb stimulating your clit as he did so. He was hitting all the right spots and it was driving you insane. 

“Keep your leg up,” he said as he let go before reaching that hand around you to untie your apron. He emptied it out and rolled it up all with one hand. You watched in confusion but as soon as you opened your mouth to ask what he was doing the cloth was shoved into your mouth. Your eyes widened in surprise.

“Since someone can't keep quiet, I'm not going to be able to focus on ruining you and keeping you quiet.” Your face turned red, your body heating up even more. You felt like you were on fire. This was the most embarrassing situation you've been in but holy shit did it turn you on. 

Before you had much time to react, his hand placed itself back holding your leg and his other hand began to move inside of you. His fingers moved fast and ruthlessly, his thumb assaulting your clit in the process. Your eyes widened at the sudden change of movement, moaning loudly. The apron muffled it, so maybe he'd been right. You don't know how to keep quiet. Shit, how was this man single? With hands like this? 

You felt a coil tightening deep within you, your hips rolling and grinding against him. You were moaning and whining. The apron was going to be soaked by the end of this endeavor.

Right before you reached your climax, he stopped moving before pulling his fingers out of you. You whined in protest, looking at him with desperation. You should've expected something like this at this point, but you were so lost in the sauce that you forgot who was currently fucking you right now.

He spun you around, pressing you into the shelves, and pulling your ass out. He gave you a firm smack, making you whine into the apron. Fuck, he was driving you insane. It's like he knew exactly what you liked. 

A shiver ran down your spine as he pulled your pants down, exposing you to the cold air of the walk in. It also didn't help that you were soaking wet either, making things even colder. You gripped onto the shelves before you, trying to keep yourself from shivering anymore. 

Soon, you felt his body heat close to you. Now a shiver of anticipation ran down your spine. You had felt him press against you earlier when you were making out. He had felt big and usually you'd end up on your knees, getting a nice jaw exercise before you ended up getting railed. However, Killer kind of just took the lead and took care of you. Which isn't something you were really used to. You were also used to usually ending up having to finish yourself off. 

But by the looks of things that wouldn't be the case this time. 

Killer pressed a kiss to your shoulder before leaning into your ear. You felt the heat of his body wash over you, the sudden temperature shift making you shiver. “If its too much, bang on the shelf twice.” You just raised an eyebrow at him. If only you didn't have this makeshift gag, you would've said something smart. 

“Don't worry,” he said. “I can read your comment in your eyes.” You just narrowed your eyes at him, making him grin - he was eating every moment of this up. You weren’t sure how you felt about him already knowing you so well.

Your glare didn’t last very long before you felt the fat head of his cock press against you. A sharp inhale went through your nose in surprise, not expecting him to be quite that large - he was about the same size as some of your bigger toys. Your eyes rolled back as he began to slide his way into you. You groaned, gripping onto the shelving as you stretched around him. You could feel him throbbing against you as your own walls throbbed trying to expand enough to fit him.

You took each inch of him like a champ, spreading your legs more and bending over to get him to fit all inside of you. He eventually bottomed out and you both were panting as he paused for a moment. You could tell he was holding himself back, which you appreciated. You’d rather not have anything tear. That was never a pleasant experience.

“Look at that,” he breathed. “You took in every inch of me. Good job, baby.” His voice was low as he spoke into your ear. You weren’t exactly sure about the petname, but fuck hearing the praise made your head swim. What was up with you? You were never this submissive. 

You moved, pressing into him slightly as you whined. You needed him to move. He just chuckled, but luckily took the hint.

He pulled out of you slowly, almost agonizingly slow. You knew he had to be messing with you. You glared at him over your shoulder and he just grinned back at you. You had half a mind to take the apron out and say something. You started to reach for it when he slammed back into you. Your eyes widened, tears pricking the corners of your eyes as they rolled back. A strangled scream erupted from your throat as you felt yourself climax suddenly. Pleasure ripped through your body, every inch of you shaking as you held onto the shelves for dear life. 

Your breathing was heavy, labored. You hadn’t been expecting that in the slightest. You thought he’d take it a little easier, but at the same time you’d never felt anything that good…probably ever.

“Too much?” You looked at him through your blurred vision, shaking your head. A smile appeared on his face, replacing the concern that had been there. “I knew you could take it,” he said. In that moment, you realized he was panting pretty heavily too. His skin glistened with sweat, hair sticking to his face. Fuck, he was one of the most beautiful men you’d ever seen in your life.

His hands gripped onto your hips and you knew you were about to have your shit absolutely rocked. You gripped the shelves, bracing yourself. As you predicted, he absolutely started to go to town. One way station to pound town, population: you. Or however the saying went. In moments, the sound of skin against skin mixed with grunts and moans was filling the walk in. You just silently prayed that the cooling system was loud enough to muffle the noise for the most part. 

You didn’t dwell on this too long as your mind was slipping further and further into the lusty abyss of pleasure. Your entire body felt like it was on fire despite the fans blowing right on the two of you. You wouldn’t have been surprised if you the cooler was going to end up being on the warmer side after all was said and done.

With the absolute ferocity he was drilling into you, you wouldn’t be surprised if you couldn’t walk or had some serious bruising tomorrow. You knew you’d have to push through it though because tomorrow was your double. Fuck, you really didn’t think this through. Hell, you didn’t think at all.

Again, your thoughts came and went, never sticking around for long and soon just nonexistent. Your eyes were practically glued to the back of your head as he used you. This was the railing of a lifetime. You’d already came once and you could feel yourself on the cusp of another. Killer was also about at his wits end too - his movements were growing more desperate and erratic.

You reached the edge first, feeling your body shudder once more as euphoria washed over you with your climax. You let out a muffled, long moan. His hips also stilled as he came hard as well. You were filled with warmth, feeling overly stuffed even more so before feeling some of it leaking down your leg. Damn, just how much did he unleash inside of you?

You were slumped against the shelving, trying to collect yourself. Your eyes were closed as you panted heavily, too weak to make any movement right now. Killer was panting too, placing soft kisses along your shoulders and neck while whispering soft praises that made your head spin a little more. 

After a few minutes, he reached over, pulling the soggy apron out of your mouth. “Holy shit,” you mumbled, coughing a bit. 

He slowly pulled out of you, making you whine slightly. You shivered as you were suddenly left empty, still too weak to move. He shoved himself back into his pants before helping you. He dressed you back up; pants on, apron around your waist. He stood you back up. “Are you alright?”

At this point, you weren’t sure - still on cloud nine. “I think I’ll be fine.” You stretched a bit, wincing slightly. “Tomorrow’s gonna suck though.” 

“I can cover for you.”

You looked at him for a moment before bursting into laughter. “No offense, but I think you’d be a shit server.” 

He frowned. “And here I thought shagging you would take the attitude out of you.” 

You raised a brow, putting your hands on your hips. “Is that what you thought? Sorry, this isn’t something that comes from needing to be laid. I’m just always a bitch - personality trait.” You shrugged, retying your apron. You fixed yourself up before looking over at Killer. You snorted, buttoning his shirt back up.

“Looks like I’ll just have to try again.” A smug smile appeared on his face and you looked at him, a smile tugging on the corners of your own. “You can try as many times as you want, loverboy. It ain’t happening.” 

“I’ll ice that cake anytime.” Your eyes widened at his words and he laughed. “Yeah, I heard your little baker comment earlier. So you like my ass?” He winked, making your face turn red. “Fix your hair,” you mumbled. “Make it look less obvious we just boned.”

“Yes, boss.”

You rolled your eyes, flinging the walk-in door open to reveal several of your coworkers standing there. Wire grinned widely, a smug look on his face. “Everyone owes me twenty bucks.” There were collective groans. “No one knows our head server better than me, you should’ve known better than to bet against me.” He shook his head, holding his hand out as everyone forked over money. 

“But they literally never sleep with anyone that works here ever,” someone protested, pouting.

You knew right then and there - you were never going to hear the end of this.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

BABES THIS ISN'T A REQUEST BECAUSE I SAW THEY'RE CLOSED BUT BUT BUT i'm still thinking of your friends with benefits Tan post from a little bit back and ahhhhhhhh i need more! anything you have 😫😫

(obviously no pressure my love)

like why does it work SO well with him? like he's you friend/coworker and you get along sooo well but then on the side you're fucking like rabbits?! yum!!

he'd 100% be the first to catch feelings and then be in complete denial and probably mess things up in the process until he finally gains some brain cells and fesses up 😌

the experimenting you could do with the sex bc you aren't "technically" dating so it isn't really as weird to bring up any kinks. Dbsjbffnnd

my brain is mush rn fr.

that is all, ily 💕 xoxo

YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL BRAIN OMG! ily and hope you’re well💓 no idea if any of this makes sense

FWB WITH TANGERINE.

so here for it. friends in public and bumping butts in private. you know that sound “everyone knows that he fucks you” that’s just ringing in my ears rn. you think no one knows, but those looks and glances aren’t fooling ANYONE! and bc you’re friends and you understand each other the sex is so good and there’s no other feelings and complications involved… WRONG. it’s bound to happen

I do also think he’s first to catch feelings. I do believe that all relationships in the past were strictly physical and there were no other feelings involved (tho i do hc him to have one very serious relationship in his twenties and that wrecked him when that ended. she was his first proper love but we’re not talking about her) so like his feelings for you kinda blur and merge bc they’re so different to just lust and sex. so he has the foundations of friendship and common ground with you already, and then add something physical and then boom. he’s confused and he’s in love bc he can’t separate those feelings (me too man, me too)

sounds so mean, but he’s a screw up??? like he runs away when things are complicated or hard and it always makes things worse. like he pushes people away, lies, AND in major MAJOR denial!! and then bc it’s so good in fiction, the fwb stops bc it’s created a clusterfuck of a situation and you both like each other but don’t do anything about it

OMG THE EXPERIMENTING BIT!!!?!?!!?!!?!? YES!! and you’re trying new things and seeing what you do and don’t like. and then bc you’re really good friends you mention a jokey kink you want to try (its a lie but you’re being serious when you say it) and he immediately knows you’re bluffing bc you’d never do that. I imagine a “fuck off, you’d hate that” and a laugh bc you’re so full of shit. and you’re like “no? ive always wanted to try it” and mention how never felt comfortable with partners in past to do it. but he still doesn’t buy it. BUT bc he’s a shit, he lets it go and says “okay” and that he’s ready to try it out rn

he’s waiting for you to surrender and you’re like “shit” bc he seems ready to try it. but all just some fun harmless mind games. ALSO would be a huge non-judgement zone and i love it

[kedreeva]

as someone who is ace and entering college years, how has your dating life been as an ace? what other struggles have there been that you have advice for? i dont know any aces or similar around me older or otherwise. thank you for your time and i hope you have an easy day!

Okay this will get a little long so I'll put it behind a cut

Honestly I'm probably not the best person to ask, since I never really...struggled? Not specifically with asexuality or with anything related to it. I can tell you my experiences, though, and you can decide if there's anything worthwhile to take away from it!

I grew up in a house run by science and math. I knew the prefix a- meant without/not and I knew there was heterosexual and bisexual and homosexual, so when young and, importantly, before really ever interacting with other queer folk, I went Ah ha, these are (prefix)(sexual) and so therefore I am asexual (without sexuality), and that was that. That was literally all the thought I gave to it. People had crushes on other people, I didn't have crushes on people, end of story. If, for some reason, I developed a crush on someone, I would deal with it then.

Maybeeeee midway through HS, a very good friend of mine asked me about it, and I said well, some people like everyone the same, and I dislike everyone the same. And she said well, then it sounds like you like everyone the same, that amount is just zero, so that seems like bisexual? (she didn't know the term asexual was an actual sexuality term either at that point, just the biological term for reproduction and, well, I could reproduce theoretically so couldn't be that) And I said well, alright then, and called myself bisexual for the next 6 or 7 years. THEN I found out asexuality is a sexuality not just a mode of reproduction and I said Ah Ha, I was Correct, and that was that again.

So I guess if I was offering advice it would be... you know you. Don't let someone else tell you about you if you think they're wrong. Make up a word if there isn't one. Use a new word if you find one that already exists and fits.

Also, that it's fine to not worry about it. Literally it's fine to just never think about it if you have better things to do. I think a lot of people get really wrapped up in finding the right label and/or "what happens if-" when like... you're not a canned good. You don't need a label. Worry about what-ifs when they come up, don't borrow anxiety if you can help it.

I dated a few people in HS, like... three people I think, and one Almost. One predatory mistake I thankfully recognized (HEY because I had older folks online I could talk to about it!) and got out of quickly, and one hot mess relationship that was a LOT of fun- my boyfriend, Sark, and then his ex-girlfriend, and then I stepped out so they could get back together, and then they said wait no, and invited me back in, and that went on for most of the end of HS, and nearly into college, when I stepped out again (and peacefully, I am still friends with both of them and I married Sark in the end). There was one guy whom I was always, perpetually, extremely fond of, and we hung out a lot, kissed once, and I think we would have had a lot of fun dating, but ultimately it was a near miss that became a fond memory, because we were never in the right place together. Sometimes life does that, and that's okay, too.

In college, I simply didn't date anyone. I had better things to do. I met my best friend, @idkfandomwhatever, online that year (and still talk to her almost daily, sometimes for hours, despite that we are on opposite sides of the world!!), and in person @mishapeep who was the best roomie I ever had (hi!!!!! i love you!!!). I had great friends, I went on a TON of adventures, worked a cool job where I had awesome coworkers, and just all around had a blast learning stuff and napping in sunbeams or on couches at the food court. A couple of guys made passes, and I turned them down because I just wasn't into it, and we remained friends. There was one coworker at my dispatch job that I got along with like a house on fire, and everyone ELSE thought we should be dating, but neither of us ever brought it up- I can't say why he didn't for sure, but I know I never brought it up because I was 85% sure he didn't swing for the right team to date me, which I ALSO never brought up until he found me on facebook years later to tell me about his husband running for local election somewhere. so. again, don't let anyone else tell you what to do lol there was ALSO another guy that I had NO interest in that spent a lot of time around me, but we mostly sat in my bunk watching Queer as Folk, which I KNOW was his first exposure to queer material. I never talked about queer stuff with him otherwise, but I heard from a mutual friend of ours that he's also happily married to his husband. Sometimes just being yourself, openly and without shame about it, does more than you think, even if it's not doing anything directly for you (but it is, it's good for you too).

SINCE college ended, I dated one guy I met through an online game and that was great in person briefly, but ultimately didn't work out because he couldn't be a nice person, another guy I met through the same online game and that didn't work out at ALL in person, and then I started hanging out with Sark and co again. I was on the phone with him driving somewhere, and I said something to the effect of someday you're gonna find a gf and she's not gonna want you to keep going on adventures with your ex, and we won't be able to talk anymore and I had a real recordscratch moment where I realized absolutely NOT on MY watch, I wanted that boy in my life forever actually, and we've been married now for... this is year 8.

I may have landed in a soft place, but I didn't seek it out. I just lived my life and didn't worry about my sexuality or about who I was or wasn't gonna date. When I DID date, I was up front about what I wanted from any of those relationships and part of the problem with the relationships that didn't work out was sometimes that I did not KNOW what I wanted, yet. But, it was IMPORTANT I think, that I gave the chances I did, because I did learn about myself and what I wanted. That's probably the hardest fucking thing to learn, that relationships sometimes happen not because they're likely to be permanent, but because it may be fun or be a way to learn what you do or don't want. Maybe alongside of that, the lesson that it's okay to go "hm, actually this is Not For Me" and exit peacefully whenever possible. But it's okay to give temporary things a shot and see how it goes, even knowing up front it may be temporary (honestly maybe that even takes some of the stress of it off? if you don't have to worry about it being forever, and you don't have to worry about "what if I never experience other things," and you don't worry so much about messing it up so it feels easier to take chances saying and doing stuff you might otherwise consider too risky to ask for etc).

I'm aware I'm lucky that things went pretty smoothly for my entire life so far, insofar as dating or sexuality is concerned. Part of that was definitely because even the worst of the people I dated weren't really all that bad of people. A lot of it was that I just didn't date if I didn't want to. I didn't care about sex, so I didn't have sex for the first time until a few years after college, and only one guy ever pushed the issue at all (the guy in HS I immediately dropped all contact with).

The thing is... I dated or nearly dated like ten people, flirted with countless others (because it's FUN), and the only one I still have regular contact with (not just occasional friendly hellos) is the one I kept at the end.

But the friends I made in college? I kept a lot of those. I still talk to several of my college friends on a regular basis. I have made other friends since, some of whom I talk to every day, some of whom have become irregular contacts I am still fond of. But those bonds are important and the ones you make with your friends from here out do have the potential to span at least huge chunks of your life, if not the entirety of it. If you only take away one thing from this little novel...take that knowledge.

also this has nothing to do with asexuality but for pete's sake find SOME kind of hobby club to be a part of, or make one if there isn't one, follow your stupidest instincts for adventure on occasion (like playing freeze tag frisbee in a lightning storm on the PAC lawn at 11pm until the campus cops show up to make you go home), and take at least one "fuck it this sounds fun" class. Mine was archery at 7am, the only early-morning class I ever took. Worth it, we were all TERRIBLE but god it was awesome.

Good luck out there!

[ghostinthelibrarywrites]

this is not a request or anything, you write what You want, but this idea entered my brain and i need to put it Somewhere so your inbox it is. dimension swap crossover between canon dbd and your msi au where something causes the two charleses to swap places

Oh, this would be fun!

MSI!Charles would be immediately 1000x more protective over an Edwin that didn't survive his ordeal and died at 16. I think there would be a bit of a learning curve with them adjusting to a Charles who is older (physically speaking) than canon!Edwin.

That being said, I can see Edwin being very flustered over an older Charles who wears a suit and maybe has a bit of stubble. Though since MSI!Charles isn't a ghost, he'd probably miss being touched by his own Charles.

On an angstier note, I imagine it would cause canon!Edwin a lot of uncertainty to realize that there's a universe out there where Charles survived his hypothermia and internal bleeding. Could his Charles have been saved? Had Edwin not been there, would Charles eventually have left the attic to get help? Did Edwin accidentally kill him with his act of kindness?

The Night Nurse would be very weirded out to be confronted with a Charles who suddenly respects her and doesn't refer to her as "Charlie." He does slip up and call her "Nursie" once and she feels like they're back on solid ground.

I think canon!Charles would be bewildered by the MSI. What do you mean, he and Edwin work for a secret sort-of government agency now? And what do you mean the Night Nurse is their boss? He has to wear a bloody suit to work? Why the fuck are Brad and Hunter his coworkers? Shouldn't they be in America? Or in Hell?

Also, why is twentysomething Edwin so fit? Why are his shoulders so broad? When the fuck did that happen?

I can see MSI!Edwin being charmed and exasperated by a perpetually 16-year-old Charles prone to throwing himself into danger with even more frequency and enthusiasm than his own Charles, as well as being horrified that there's a universe out there where his best friend died so young.

Canon!Charles would have feelings about the fact that in the MSI universe, Edwin has been sporadically hooking up with Thomas for years. If he finds out about the supply closet rendezvous, he might go hunting Thomas down with his cricket bat.

MSI!Crystal and Niko are delighted to watch a skinny teenage Charles following their Edwin around like a bodyguard. Niko doesn't know why this Charles hugged her for like 10 minutes when he first met her, but she thought it was sweet.

If both Charleses and both Edwins are briefly in the same universe, I can see the Edwins squabbling over who had it worse. "I spent seventy-three years in Hell." "Well, I spent ninety-five years someplace just as bad." "I *died*." "Charles drags me to office cocktail hours every month." The Charleses step back and let it happen.

First reason this could never actually happen in the MSI universe: canon!Edwin, with the benefit of having been studying the supernatural for decades more than MSI!Edwin and being an actual supernatural creature, could probably figure out what had kidnapped MSI!Edwin and how to stop it with an afternoon of research.

Reason #2: Not sure which, if either, of the Payneland pairings would have gotten together yet, but I can totally see one of the Charleses looking at the other Charles, thinking, "Huh, I think he's in love with his Edwin" and then getting slapped in the face with one hell of a realization.

For anyone wondering what the MSI is:

[iguessitsjustme]

I don't think any of y'all watch The Circle but I am absolutely DYING at the episodes that dropped today. And the only people I know that watch it are coworkers so I gotta wait until tomorrow to really talk about it but oh my god. I gotta say this or I will explode. Under the cut to spare y'all:

Mad, mad respect for Caress for making the right move and sacrificing herself. She knew where she stood and she truly went out in the best possible way. I hope she finds nothing but blessings in her life.

I think the way the show is being edited is indicating that Kyle is gonna win it. I hope he does. He has been nothing but loyal and honest to everyone (aside from the fact he's married but that's no problem because Liv isn't exactly honest either)

I HATE Jordan. First of all, get your shoes off the bed wtf. You sleep there. I also get that he's good for tv or whatever because he's brings the drama but that is literally not what anyone likes about the circle. We like the genuine connections that people build in there. We like when the show is wholesome. And he came in and just decided Myles sucked and was manipulating everyone? Because what? People liked him? When he was going around lying about everything? That boy still has insecurities he hasn't fully worked through and is projecting that onto Myles.

I will be so sad if QT goes because she is genuinely such a good player. She's kind but also realistic and she keeps it real with her people that they're playing a game. I'm glad she left that influencer chat with Jordan because she was right. If she blocked anyone he wanted to block, she would look like she can't be trusted. She would be the next one gone. Because Jordan would have been safe since he was the secret influencer, he had no issues gunning for her people. And trying to tell her that her strategy is bad because she doesn't want to break every alliance she has in one fell swoop? He's dumb.

I hope Liv gets rid of Jordan but the smart move would be blocking QT and I honestly think QT would respect her for it. I don't know if QT would throw shade at Liv being a catfish or not though. That is if they make Liv block face to face which is what they've always done in the past so I don't see why they would stop now.

I am happy to see Liv makes it to the finals. I've been up and down with Liv but I do like her and think she deserves to be in the finals. Or he deserves it I guess. Go Brandon.

I want Kyle to win. Out of everyone left, I want him to win. Myles is my favorite but I think Kyle winning would be the sweetest moment.

Jordan can kiss my ass.

I do want Lauren to make it to the finals. I wish she had been in any other season cause I think the AI twist hurt her a lot and she would have been able to build actual connections with actual people which is what I watch the show for.

No seriously. Jordan makes me so mad. All he had to do was literally none of what he did. Why did he come in so nasty? Has he seen the show? Those people never win. Never.

I do feel bad for Autumn and I think if she had come in earlier and had a chance to talk to Myles they could have been friends. I do not know why I think this but I think they would have been friends.

[redactahoe]

even more redacted headcanons

i am losing my mind :D

this is just my opinion none of this is canon this is all for shits in giggles and i will infact repeat myself for previous headcanon post srry this is also only somewhat orginized and super unedited

ever person in the shaw pack has/had a crush on darlin

darlin has been voted as the 'hottest person in the pack as well

babe is classically trained in piano and viola and one day dreams to own they're own grand piano don't worry davids rich ass may or may not be planning this as a wedding gift for them

playing off that last point babe hates it when people after finding out they can play, start demanding not asking no demanding them to play something. everytime this happens (which isn't often at least with the shaw pack that is) asher has to physically hold his mate back from violently shoving they're viola bow up the assholes... asshole

instead of hush just waiting at docs apartment for them to come home from work, he would rather creepily sit with his knees to chest in an extra spinney chair in the corner of docs office. like he'll act 'normal' when its just him and doc, but if someone comes in for any reason hell stop talking and just watch them

mentor actually isn't that nice to they're coworkers but when they first saw ollie they were smitten, like ollie is the only person they talked to outside of work stuff. they were not there for water cooler small talk😭but for ollie they would do anything

on that same not i am a firm believer in james spouse being stoned faced with everyone except james and the hand full friends that they have

asset loves listening and asking questions to anton or james talk about their respective spouses

anton has been slowly building up a collection of shiny rocks hes either fond or bought so when he finally gets to go home to his partner and give to them

david is actually besties with babe because their both people who see Asher on a consistent bases and therefore meet up every other week discussing the various type of shenanigans asher gets into

darlin and brights have a bone room in sam and darlin's house.... let me explain, so it is of my firm belief that 90% of the shaw pack is neurodivergent and darlin is not exempt from that. bright also has some vague form of neurodivergent that bright refuses to anyone and this all comminates into both of them coincidently having the same special interests in bones and animals in general. and since sam (according to asher) owns this big ass cabin in the middle of the woods, it was perfect. and bright didnt have the bone room is because they had a small enough collection to keep in their room at sams place. that is until darlin moved and pulled up with their extensive collecting that they've had since the age of 10 and sam was very willing to put one of those 'guest room' nobody uses them bright happen to be there the day darlin and sam were able to get the aforementioned bone collection home form storage and they lost there collective mind with excitement. and sam got watch with this fond and loving twinkle as bright and darlin ramble and trade facts about animals and their bones (and darlin got to teach bright how to properly clean bones it was adorable)(ok ill shut up about this)

angel loves to recreate outfits from many types of videogames and tv show and uses packmembers (read as: tank and asher) as mannequins.

going off that last point(again) david loves listening to angel ramble about they're latest project and intentionally searched and bought a house with alot of big ass closets so angel can hang up all of the finished ones and store all of the stuff they need to make

ftm!guy is rarely ever dysphoric b/c while honey isnt the greatest at expressing their emotions they are incredibly attentive with guy and his needs and wants so this means that honey is always checking in on him. not only that but early on when they were just roommates that one other girl's boyfriend that they were rooming with (i forgot her name) made an off handed/gross comment about guy and honey literally kicked his ass out. like they picked he disgusting ass up and threw him out of the fucking apartment.... guy still laughs about to this day.

i fully believe that the damn polycule does and should include laskos listener (dear) and they can infact dom anyone

all of the de(a)mons can infact purr but gavin and caluem are most open about that fact.

lovely didnt grow up or live the riches life so when they started to dating vincent they had hard time excepting all of Vincent and williams expansive gifts all the while Vincent love langue is gift giving

lovley loves music so much. like its the hyperfixation, anything to do with music and i mean anything lovely could probaly tell you about. and much to willams delight that means he now has someone to talk about music and art from his time peroid (hes over 500 y/o yall) and them knowing exactly what theyre talking about

despite the fact that alot of people will say that lovely is William's fave, its actually untrue. williams favorite is actually darlin, i know i know but stick with me here. i think alot of the clan members to tend to question or disagree with william because hes their king but darlin is very diffrent. i think that once they start attending clan meetings the kinda behave like they're at pack meeting b/c its essentially the same thing. so theyre always asking questions, giving suggestions and even calling william out when he sometimes gets things wrongs. and william loves this, he loves how engaged they are and recognizes that thats just how darlin shows that not only do they care but that theyre listening. hell he'll even tell someone (even if sam has alredy told them the stfu) that trys to rudely interrupt darlin with " YoU SHoUlDnT iNtErRuPt ThE kInG!" to stfu if you dont have anything meaningful to contribute

everyone(excluding like a handful of people) in the both shaw pack and the solaire pack is kinda protective of babe and angel. and its not just because they're both humans its mostly because both of the are humans that treat others as humans. let me explain, so in empowered society ive noticed that vampires and shifter are treated differently form other empowered people. its really supple but anyways both angel an babe see no reason to interact with vampires and shifters any differently from how they would interact with any other person and most of them really appreciate that. people tend to talk to shifters like they're animals of some kind and people tend to act like all vamps have no control over theyre impulses and hunger and when both are asked angel tells the person that no matter what kind of magic got, it doesnt matter. because at the end of the day they all are/were human. with babe youll get similar answer but they'll tack on that its important for everybody to remember that they are people, human of not people are flawed and will make mistake. and trying to pretend that your above/below feelings and flaws is very bad for ones mental health. and thats how alot of older generations of shifter/vamp end up living in the middle of bumfuck no where, borderline insane and very lonely

welp thats it for know

thx for reading sorry if i forget any tags

[beemovieerotica]

Yoo, your post about the whole controversy around jk Rowling being something not that wide spread outside internet really reasonated with me. I'm openly trans at work + Jewish (and I assume you might know about the Harry Potter game controversy), and one colleague (who I get along well with enough to call my friend) really really loves Harry Potter and keep trying to excitedly talk about it with me... Despite me telling her I am not comfortable about that media. She keep insisting on removing the work from its author because it was her childhood and so important to her.

I just... How do you navigate it when it happens to you? I could really use some reference or perspective overall!

No pressure to answer, I realize it might be controversial subject that may bait I'll faith engagement so I totally understand if you don't respond

oh I'm happy to respond, no yeah when I posted about me blocking anons baiting for discourse I mean I frequently get single sentence asks like "do you support ______" and that's...someone not interested in actually talking to me, but instead doing a witchhunt "are you a Good Person or a Bad Person" to a stranger on the internet. like if someone asked "do you support jk rowling" no context no other discussion, it's weird, it's impersonal, it's not how I want to talk to people (and anyone who has followed me for any length of time would know the answer anyway?)

but yeah sorry getting to your question, that's really difficult to reverse out of that situation if you've already expressed past interest in it...with my coworkers who like hp I'll do a very obviously polite-but-not-part-of-the-group "oh that's fun!" when they talk about it e.g. dressing up as hp for halloween, and I guess I consistently give off enough of an impression of never having cared about it, which is WILD because yeah it used to be my life. so they don't try to get any deeper into it than surface level mentions with me.

but if you've already breached the whole topic of jkr herself...AND they're not responding to explicit requests to steer away the topic...? they fundamentally don't respect your boundaries regardless of the subject matter. like remove hp from the equation and if my coworker said they don't like talking about pirates of the caribbean for even the vaguest reason on earth and I continued to try to engage with them about it, through their discomfort, then it's not really about whether something can ever be redeemed as media or not, they just don't respect boundaries.

at that point that's really shitty if she's in your workspace but she's a kind enough person about everything else to be considered a friend...but if she IS a friend, then you should be able to literally say "sorry I need to step away, this isn't a topic I want to get into" when she brings it up and then. physically step away. like make the boundary an actual physical thing that gets enforced if she doesn't respect your wishes. it SHOULD start to click for her then, because maybe at this point she's learned subconsciously "oh, my friend will talk about my favorite thing with me if I ease them into it, and I can make them get over their discomfort, because they're still here talking to me, aren't they?"

be polite, verbalize the boundary, and physically walk away to enforce the boundary and do something else. you don't have to burn bridges that you don't want to burn, AND you don't have to put up with behavior you don't like!

[spacelazarwolf]

That reply completely glossed over op's point that if you're GNC and you want to go to a business meant to aid you in your presentation (an explicitly GNC presentation!) you're more than correct in feeling unsafe. The kind of nb people they're referring to are explicitly non-GNC in their presentation. Every time I go to the barber I feel anxious and worried at what their reaction to me, extremely non-passing trans man, will be. The same goes for a non-passing trans woman (augmented, even)

The most the average nb person who isn't going out of their way to present differently from their agab (which is VALID, btw. Like the op said they don't *owe* anyone androgyny) would have to deal with is misgendering, but for the most part I don't think a nail salon is going to ask for your pronouns when you come in and refuse service if you give the "wrong" ones

yeah i think people were getting very fixated on that example and not really understanding what the point of it was. part of it i think is because the op didn't explain it very well, but also this is tumblr dot com where we piss on the poor daily. the point wasn’t “asking for a trans friendly business if you’re not visibly trans is stupid and bad”, it’s “are you afraid someone isn't going to understand that you're nonbinary and will assume you're cis unless you say something? or are you afraid someone will refuse you service or treat you poorly?"

when i was pre t and looking for places to get my haircut, when i kept it longer and more "feminine", i didn't have a problem finding places to go. i just showed up, said i wanted a trim, and that was it. when i decided i wanted to cut it shorter and get a "men's cut", i had a lot of trouble finding someone who would even do it. over and over i would get hairdressers (all women) who would give me pixie cuts instead of men's cuts. i once spent two hours at the salon repeatedly telling the hairdresser "go shorter" because she literally would not just buzz it and insisted we go little by little in case we went "too short." but they still provided me service. it wasn't until i found my current hairdresser, who is a gay man, that i started getting the cuts i actually wanted. and now that t is making my voice drop and most importantly in this context changing my hairline in a noticeable way, it is imperative that i have a barber who is trans friendly. because people can absolutely react badly to discussions about pronouns, but when there is a physical marker of Gender Difference, that's when i noticed people started getting more aggressive. that's when i started to notice "oh this isn't just really uncomfortable and shitty anymore, this person doesn't want to mock me, this person wants to hurt me." both sucked, but one was significantly more terrifying to experience.

an example that is probably more relevant to the topic and what's currently happening in my life is a conversation i had with a friend of mine who is nonbinary, was assigned female at birth, presents feminine, and has no interest in any aspect of medical transition. love that for them! but trying to talk to them about losing my access to hrt is nearly impossible because they simply do not understand the severity of it. they have compared me losing a job because my coworkers found out i was trans, and being unable to do anything about it because my state is an at-will state, to their coworker misgendering them their first day at work when they were not wearing their usual pronoun pin.

does getting misgendered at work suck? yeah. does it suck to have to wear a pin with pronouns on it just to get people to use the correct ones? yeah. is this indicative of a larger societal problem with cis normativity and the gender binary? absolutely. but the sting of being misgendered in the moment and having to correct someone (who from then on used the correct pronouns) is absolutely not the same as losing your health insurance and only source of income and housing all within the span of two months.

the problem isn't that You Must Be This Oppressed To Talk, the problem is that interrupting a conversation about the government legislating your right to exist to center a moment of personal discomfort is an asshole thing to do.

[indigo-anonymous]

I may be a little too deep in the brainrot but hear me out about this Hazbin Hotel AU idea-

It kinda spawned from a few other sinner!Adam AUs I've seen, but because I'm me I had to make it ✨trans✨. It started with my brain imagining Adam with gender euphoria bc of facial hair, and spiralled into, well, this...

--

Consider: Adam respawns as a sinner, and on top of all the other changes (goat ears and small goat horns, raven wings the colour of an oil spill, hooves instead of feet) he finds himself in a female body. The dysphoria is intense, even his voice sounds wrong to his own ears. He doesn't know where to go (all the people he knows would only want to kill him again), and ends up wandering, seeing the worst of hell as someone homeless. He dies more than once, but regenerating doesn't change his body. The worst of the dysphoria comes from other people, the way they talk to him and about him, the way they act towards him. He starts to talk less and less, hating the sound of his voice.

Eventually he stumbles upon Valentino. The deal he makes is one for protection, but knowing more than the average fresh sinner, he is very specific about details. Demons are not to be trusted, after all. He works for Valentino for protection and a place to stay, but maintains his soul and ability to back out of the contract.

He never introduces himself as Adam, no one knows him as such, and no matter what he says about being a man, Valentino never sees him as such. The overlord sees Adam and assumes he is a butch lesbian (given the masculine clothing choice (perpetual dysphoria hoodies and sweatpants) and short hair, haphazardly cut with any available knife whenever it got too long for comfort). Adam of course doesn't help that assumption by being adamant (pun intended) that he's only attracted to women.

Regardless, he works for Valentino, and it doesn't take long for him to run into Angel Dust. Adam is almost always quiet, even around Angel, but they eventually start warming up to each other. Angel immediately believes Adam when he says he's not a woman, and that relief is enough for Adam to start trusting Angel. It helps, of course, that Adam's power is related to names. He sees the true name of every sinner floating by their head, the handwriting symbolic of their personalities. Above Angel's head, in elegant, swoopy letters, is the name Anthony.

"You're Anthony, right?" "What- How did you know that?" "I- uhh... it says. Above your head." Angel is quiet for a moment, and then carefully asks, "Does it say anything above your head?"

Adam admits, truthfully, that there is no name above his own head. Still scared to admit his identity, he picks "Dee" as a temporary name (and definitely a reference to his title as Dickmaster).

And so Anthony and Dee become friends. Angel tells his friends at the hotel about his new coworker and friend, and they get progressively closer, bonding over queer experience and working under Val. With Anthony's help, Dee slowly starts to properly deconstruct his beliefs about... well, practically everything.

Anthony gets him his first binder to help with dysphoria (though he can only wear it when they're chilling with just the two of them, to be sure Val doesn't catch on) and they hang out together watching movies and talking. Adam is still quiet, but comes out of the shell he'd stuffed himself in over the past months, slowly but surely.

Angel can see that Dee isn't happy working for Val, doing it out of necessity far more so than enjoyment. So he suggests an alternative: the hotel. Escaping Val would mean Dee could actually attempt to transition, without having the dysphoria of being constantly misgendered by almost everyone around him. The hotel would keep him safe, even from Val, who would not be happy to have one of his new toys quit after gaining a following.

After some consideration, Adam accepts. He lets his hair grow out a little, hoping to not be recognised by anyone staying at the hotel. This, of course, wouldn't last. Though I'm not sure exactly how it would go down, Lucifer would be the one to first recognise him. Maybe once he's been on T for a short while, and his voice starts to drop. He slowly starts sounding and looking more like himself.

I'd love for this to end with Adamsapple because I love them sm, but I didn't think quite that far ahead, this really was just the brainrot of a few hours on the train with nothing but my thoughts and some music lmao.

Feel free to like, ask me more about this if you're interested? I don't rlly have a name for it, like, trans sinner Adam au?? idk

I apologise for my overuse of parentheses, and the probably somewhat incoherent rambling of... whatever this is. Just wanted to type out my thoughts :P

Indigo (going a little insane)

[your-queer-dad]

Hey dad

This is a bit of a vent pertaining to a character/fandom (going anonymous because it was part of something I brought up in a previous account I had and got harassed into deleting my account).

There's a lot of discourse in the Torchwood fandom around Gwen Cooper as a character. I personally hate her for what she did. But then I saw Gwen lovers saying that hating her is misogynistic?

Reasons I hate her: she's a liar. She cheated on her boyfriend with a coworker who knew she was in a relationship (I hate him too). She drugged her boyfriend with Retcon (memory loss+sleeping pill), confessed to cheating, tried to get him to forgive her but he didn't before the drug knocked him out, and then went back to the Torchwood Hub and started crying like she was the victim. She almost cheated again at her wedding with the main character (Jack Harkness) - she was going to kiss him - before it turned out it was an alien in disguise. In another episode she told Jack she loves him (more than Rhys - her boyfriend). She constantly is rude to him, and to Andy, her former coworker and supposed friend. She treats Andy like crap. She temporarily loses her boyfriend in one episode but time gets reset and he's brought back. However Jack dies a bit more permanently (he's immortal, but he was dead a few days) and instead of going home to the boyfriend she claims to love, she sits with Jack's body in the morgue and doesn't let anyone stay. Except it should have been Ianto because Ianto is Jack's boyfriend. She says yes to Rhys's proposal because "no one else would have her" but if Jack asked her to be with him she'd leave Rhys in a heartbeat. Ew. And she claims to have a big heart, but she doesn't care about her teammates as much as she does aliens, even ones harmful, she doesn't know when to mind her business or to back down, and if someone isn't useful to her, she tosses them aside. And let's not forget making harsh snap judgments about Jack because she can't understand the immortal Captain who's been in Torchwood for centuries has to make the difficult decisions that no one else can. Oh. Oh yeah in the second episode she released an alien that killed a number of people, and kissed Jack as well as a young woman who the alien was using as a host, but she was supposedly in a relationship. Hell in episode one she lies to Rhys right off the bat, saying she had nothing to do with a murder investigation, but she was there, then lied about work to go hunt down Torchwood.

Let's be real. If she was a male character doing all this he'd be torn to shreds. But because Gwen's a woman, I'm a misogynist for hating her?

As much as I try not to, it's gotten under my skin and making me really angry :(

I'm not fucking misogynistic for hating a female character who's a piece of shit.

(also I'm sorry for swearing, it happens when I'm really angry and sometimes helps get my point across -)

Hey kiddo! Honestly I love Torchwood so I'm very pleasantly surprised to be talking about it on my non-fandom blog. I don't think you're a misogynist for disliking a character- because it's an individual, and you don't dislike her because she's a woman you dislike her because of the things she does in series.

Being a misogynist is very different, and is generally about things on the whole- like homophobia isn't just hating one specific gay person because they're a bit annoying, it's to do with that group and their specific shared quality.

- dad x

[analogwriting]

The Walk-in

Killer x gn!reader (amab edition) word count: 4.2k afab vers. a/n: i got this idea from a revelation i had about how im pretty sure every walk-in in every restaurant ever has been boned in at least once. my source to site is me bc ive been working in the food industry since i was, like, 12. also guapo means 'handsome' in spanish.

“Oh my god, y/n, have you seen the new cook?” Your best friend, Wire, spoke up from behind the bar. He was currently wiping it down, preparing for the rush that would be starting soon. 

You were bussing tables when he spoke up, you paused, walking over to him and tossing the rag over your shoulder. “I haven't. Isn't he a friend of the owner’s son or something?”

“Yeah. Met him in college.”

“Ah. Friend hire.” You made a face, causing Wire to laugh. He knows how much you weren't a fan of people being hired just because they knew someone who worked there - especially when it came to the owner. “They never last.” You shook your head. 

“Oh, c'mon. I heard his cooking is great.”

You raised an eyebrow as you went back to wiping down tables. “Biased opinions, probably. Of course they're gonna say his cooking is great. But good cooking isn’t everything in this line of work. You and I both know that.”

Wire had a thoughtful look on his face as he nodded. “That's true.” There'd been plenty of instances where a good cook was hired, but they couldn't deal with the rush or crazy customers. None of them would last through the night. “He seems like he'll hold well.”

You snorted, standing up and folding your arms across your chest. “That's what you said about the last guy.” You rolled your eyes with a grin. The poor sap didn't last half an hour. 

“I was being optimistic?” You snorted and shook your head. “Oh sure. Optimistic.”

“I'm sure he'll become overwhelmed and leave within the hour.” That was your bet. You didn't usually expect much from newcomers, especially friend hires. 

“Wow, not even giving me a real shot, huh?” A deep voice came up from behind you. A shiver ran down your spine - not from fear, but from the sheer attractiveness his voice had. Oh shit.

You turned around and the air left your lungs as the most beautiful and sexy man stood behind you. You blinked, trying to find words to say but your brain wasn't fully caught up with the situation. Holy shit, this was the finest man you'd ever seen in your life. 

“You must be the head server with the high expectations then.” You opened your mouth to say something - only for nothing to come out. You glared over at Wire who held his hands up in surrender with a shit eating grin on his face. He knew that this man was exactly your type and chose to retain that information. 

A sly grin spread across the cook's face. “Cat got your tongue? Where'd all that barking go?” 

Your eyes widened, one of them twitching. Oh, he had a mouth on him too. It was on. 

Finally, your brain caught up. It'd felt like eternity, but it was only a few seconds. You folded your arms across your chest, an unimpressed look crossing your features. “I believe I am giving you a chance, just don't have high hopes. Can’t in this line of work - takes a special breed.” 

You looked him up and down. Fuck, he was fine as hell. “Anyway. They say you're a good cook. The customers will be the judge of that. That's not all, however. Where most people fumble is service itself. Always ends up being too much for people - too busy.” 

Then your brain circled back to what he had said earlier. “And of course I have high expectations. I only want what's best for this place and I don't need people wasting mine or my coworkers time.” 

The man before you just had an amused look on his face as he watched you. That irritated the shit out of you for reasons you couldn’t specify at the moment. “Don't worry, I won't be wasting anyone's time. I assure you, I won't be going anywhere either. You better get used to me now,” he crooned, leaning in as he spoke.

Your eyes narrowed at him. You wanted to punch him in his smug little face. “I've had plenty like you, too. Big talk. Think they'll last. Usually, they're the quickest to leave. Honestly, I’m being generous with an hour.” 

He chuckled, straightening back out. “We'll see when I'm still here after rush then, huh? If I stick it out, which I will, what do I get for winning the bet?”

The sheer audacity of this man. You stared at him, but didn't hesitate in your answer. “A job, duh.” You rolled your eyes. “I don't have time for this. I have a floor to prep.”

The cook laughed. It was one of the most beautiful sounds you ever heard. Damn, you must just be horny. It had been a while since you've gotten laid, but you also had a rule of never sleeping with your coworkers. You didn't knock others for doing it, you just didn't personally. You felt it made things complicated - though you were also an overthinker. Too many what ifs. What if it didn’t work out? What if you hated working together? What if you spent too much time together? What if, what if, what if?

“I'll see you after dinner rush then.” He winked at you and your heart almost stopped. Jesus fuck, you were down bad for a man you wanted to strangle. He walked off, leaving you standing there with Wire. You watched him leave, admiring his fat ass as he left before you turned back to your best friend.

He burst into laughter and you narrowed your eyes. “You're the worst, you know that?” That caused him to laugh harder. “Oh my god. I was just waiting for the moment for the part where you both just tear off each other's clothes and start going at each other right there, holy shit.”

Your face immediately warmed up. “Shut up, Wire. No one asked you.” You folded your arms across your chest with a frown. “You could've fucking warned me he was hotter ‘n hell.” 

Wire laughed again. “And miss the look on your face? That was priceless. I've never seen you be so taken aback before. The great y/n rendered speechless by the new cook.”

“Don't call him the new cook. He's gotta prove himself first.”

Another chuckle came from your best friend and he shook his head. You sighed, looking in the direction said man had left.

“What are you thinking about now?”

“How it's a shame he's not a baker with all that cake he's got. And how I wouldn't mind him icing mine.” Wire burst into laughter again and you just shook your head, clicking your tongue. “Too bad he won't last.”

Your attention shifted to the customers that walked in and you headed over to greet them. 

--

Rush was busier than usual. It was always insane, but it was even more so tonight. This was something you usually lived for, the chaos of the floor. It kept things interesting and helped time fly by. Slow nights drove you insane, which is why you were always scheduled the busiest nights too. Plus, you were insanely good at your job.

Being head server, your main job was just making sure that things were going out on time, keeping tabs on your servers, and taking care of any customer issues. You were technically a manager, yes, but you liked the title of head server better.

However, you could feel eyes on you all night. Yes, that's typically normal considering you're a server, but this was different. You also knew exactly who the culprit was. The new fucking cook. Every time you headed to the back or to the window, his eyes were on you. You'd glance at him, catching him red handed. 

Only, he didn't look away like most people. He kept his stare, only offering up a grin and the occasional wink as he cooked. Your body heated up every time, flustered that he was so casual.  Your mind was running wild with what you wanted him to do to you. You tried to keep yourself busy, but the growing heat across your whole body was making it hard. 

You tried to lie to yourself, saying it was because rush was busier than usual and you were running around even more. Every time you finally started calming down, he seemed to appear out of nowhere with his stupid smile, sending you into a spiral again. 

You could honestly punch him, that might just solve your problems. He was aggravating in every sense of the word. His cocky attitude was getting to you, making you even crabbier than you already had been. You were trying your best not to take it out on your fellow servers or the customers. It was fine for the most part. 

After rush, you asked another server to cover the one table you had left so you could take a minute. You immediately beelined it to the walk in. You flung the door open, unbuttoning your shirt a few times as you entered. You closed your eyes, listening to the hum of the fans keeping it cool, and taking a deep breath as you fanned yourself with your hand.

Then the door opened, revealing the new guy. Someone mentioned his name was Killer. Funny. You wonder how he ended up with a stupid nickname like that. 

You glared at him as the smug smile spread across his face. Unfortunately, you knew he didn't end up leaving. His eyes being glued to you all night constantly reminded you that he had proven you wrong. He actually had done pretty well and the customers seemed to enjoy his cooking. He'd be sticking around as long as he wanted now - the job was his. Which also meant you had to deal with the fact that you were going to have to see him almost every day. 

“Guess you're stuck with me now, huh?”

“What are you even here for? Just to bother me?” You were in a foul mood and it was all his fault. You weren’t in the mood for his cocky attitude or ‘I told you so’ right now.

“Well, I originally came back here to grab something but now I don't even remember what it was supposed to be now that you're in front of me looking like that.”

You looked down at yourself, confused. “What? Gonna make fun of me?” You were disheveled and hot, your skin flushed in some places. 

“No. You actually look really good like that.” A lazy smile appeared on his face as he folded his arms and leaned against the shelves. What the hell was he doing?

You could feel your body growing warmer despite the cooler air being blown at you. “The hell is your fucking angle? You've been staring all night and now you’re saying weird shit.” 

He blinked, raising his eyebrows. “And here I thought I was being obvious.” 

You stared at him for a moment as your head spun. What did- oh. Your eyes widened slightly and his grin grew. “Now you got it.”

Though, he didn't have much time to say anything else before you essentially pounced on him. You couldn't take it anymore, he'd been riling you up all night and you were at your wits end. And he was here, basically telling you to screw him. Actually, literally. 

You had walked over, grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and kissed him hard. He grinned into you, wrapping his arms around you. “Finally,” he mumbled. 

You shook your head. “Don't let your big mouth ruin it.” He just laughed before kissing you again, patting your ass. You took the hint, hopping up and wrapping your legs around him. He held you with ease, hands firmly on your ass as he pinned you to the shelves. He squeezed you hard, making a small whine escape your lips. 

Your own hands pressed against his chest before pausing. You felt something through his shirt. “Oh my god - are your nipples pierced?” You had never moved faster than you were right now as you undid his shirt. 

He blinked in confusion at your sudden shift of attention, disoriented and a little pouty that you pulled away like you did.

You opened his shirt and, lo and behold, piercings. Your eyebrow raised and a grin spread across your face. “Now, that's hot as hell,” you mused as you ran your hands across his broad chest and piercings, tugging at them a bit.  You heard his breathing sharply hitch and you looked at him with a grin.

You squirmed out of his arms, making him look at you with a confused expression. You placed a hand on his chest, gently pushing him backwards and guiding him essentially. He tripped, falling back into a few sacks of onions. He looked up at you as you slowly straddled him. “You’re gonna learn why I run the place tonight, guapo.” 

Before he could ask you what that meant, you kissed him. Your hands found their way to his chest again, groping and squeezing him. He let out a few grunts in response, clearly enjoying himself. His hands found their way to your ass, squeezing roughly. You groaned against him, your head spinning.

You felt his hands move from your ass to your thighs, squeezing there too before they found their way to your waistband. It wasn’t long before he had your pants undone and your cock out. Part of you was glad you wore your comfy pants, easier to move around. 

When the cold hair touched your cock, your breathing hitched as it twitched in his hand. “Fuck,” you mumbled. 

Your head dropped down to his shoulder as he began to stroke your cock. A shiver ran down your spine from finally being touched by him. You’d been imagining it all night and you honestly couldn’t wait to get to the actual railing part. You planned on riding him like no tomorrow.

He removed his hand from your cock, causing you to whine in protest. “Patience,” he crooned, earning a glare from you. He just smiled at you, kissing you so soft and in a way that caught you off guard. It gave him leeway to spin you around and bend you over, pressing you into the floor. You yelped at the sudden movement and him pulling your pants down just enough to expose your ass to him.

“You fuckin- fuck.” Whatever insult you were going to say completely derailed as you felt one of his thick fingers slide into you with ease. He must’ve used your own precum to slick up his own fingers. You didn’t even realize that’s what he had been doing.

You sank to your knees, ass in the air as he worked you. Fuck, you didn’t like not being the one in control. It was a whole different feeling. You’d need to regain control but-

Your thoughts were interrupted as he inserted another one. Damn, his fingers were thick and drove you inside as they moved about inside of you. He worked you as if he’d done it a million times before - as if stretching you was something he did every day. You hadn’t pegged him for a whore but maybe he was, you didn’t know. Nor did you care that much.

You bit your bottom lip, your eyes rolling back as you felt the third one make its way inside of you. He pumped his fingers in and out of you before you suddenly felt his other hand wrap around your cock. Your eyes widened at the sudden double sided attack you were facing. A loud moan erupted from you as pleasure began to make your body really buzz. You wouldn’t last long at this point.

And you didn’t. It wasn’t long after he started his assault that you came hard, making a mess on the floor below - gonna have to clean that up later. He removed his hands from you, making you shiver as you were suddenly left empty. Fuck, what the hell was that about?

You weren’t about to let him have the upperhand again. You pushed yourself off the ground despite still being a bit disoriented from your high. You looked behind you, another shiver running down your spine. He looked down at you like you were his last meal on death row. Or like an apex predator that hasn’t eaten in weeks and you were a juicy antelope or something. The wild look in his eye made your heart race with excitement.

“Pull your dick out,” you instructed. He blinked at your sudden demand, but he didn’t hesitate. Your eyes widened as you saw the sheer size of him, but you also knew you could take it. You had plenty of toys that size - you just weren't expecting someone to actually have that size of cock. 

“Too big for you? Wouldn’t be the first time.” That smug smile spread across his face and you had half the mind to just walk off, leaving him to his own devices. You were too horny for that though. You needed his dick in you right now.

“What did I say about your mouth,” you mumbled, rolling your eyes.

You moved, pressing yourself against the thick head. You bit the inside of your cheek as you slowly lowered yourself onto him. As he made his way inside of you, you began panting as he stretched your insides to the max. He was throbbing inside of you and you were throbbing around him. You could already feel your legs numbing with pleasure. Fuck, you were going to feel this tomorrow - and it was your double day. Awesome. You really were great at thinking ahead.

You were thinking about a head alright. 

All your stupid thoughts went out the window as you felt Killer bottom out. He was completely inside of you now and you felt utterly full. You were panting heavily, as was he. Even being in the cooler, both of you were also sweating a considerable deal.

After a few moments of catching your breath, you began to move - slow at first, trying to find a good rhythm. You heard him grumbling about wanting to go faster. “If you wanted it your way, you shouldn’t have acted like a smartass,” you said. You were in control now and you were going to remind him of that.

Oh, how very wrong you were.

“Punish a smartass? I can do that.” 

Before you could even process what he said, you felt him place his hands on the bottoms of your thighs before pulling your legs up and locking his hands behind your head. Was he really going to full nelson you right here in the fucking walk-in? 

If someone opened the door right now, you’d be on display for everyone to see. Oh dear sweet Jesus, that somehow made everything hotter.

“I-” You weren’t even able to form a single word before he was absolutely using you. He pistoned his hips, slamming in and out of you - your own dick bouncing around. His cock dragged along your insides, hitting all the right spots in the process. Your head was spinning and your moans were loud despite your best attempts to quiet them. You just hoped the cooler was loud enough to muffle the noise enough. Walk-ins canceled out a lot of noise but they weren't completely soundproof. 

Then you heard it. The click that signaled someone was opening the door. You scrambled quickly, but felt yourself being hoisted up inside as Killer stood up. He moved, heading to the part where the shelving stopped and the wall dipped in a little. It was the perfect little nook for hooking up. Why you didn’t start there, you weren’t sure.

He moved quickly, pressing you against the wall before pressing as close to you as he could to hide himself from view as well. Only when he did that, he shoved himself so deep inside of you so suddenly, you felt him slam into that sweet spot that made your vision go white for a moment and ecstasy flooded your body as you climaxed, making a mess of the wall before you. You inhaled but before you could make too much noise, his hand covered your mouth, muffling your noises right as the person walked in. 

Your head was spinning and you were struggling to keep it together. “Find them?” you heard someone call. The door must’ve still been open. 

“No! I could’ve sworn I saw Killer come back here.”

“Same. I thought I saw y/n.” A sigh could be heard.

“I wonder where they went.”

“Wherever it is, they’re probably shagging.”

“Probably not. Y/n is very against sleeping with their coworkers. We all know this.”

“Wire thinks otherwise and no one knows them better. Not to mention the insane sexual tension from dinner. It was painful to watch.” 

If you weren’t about to explode at the moment, you would’ve been offended - maybe even said something. The only thing you wanted right now was them to leave so that Killer could fucking finish fucking you. You could deal with everything later. You didn’t care about what was being said.

Finally, the two of them left. Killer let out a sigh of relief. “I didn’t think they’d ever leave,” he said before slowly removing his hand from your mouth. You fell into a small coughing fit.

“Are you-”

“I swear to fuck, if you don’t finish what you started, I’m going to lose my marbles.”

Killer looked surprised for a moment before that stupid, smug smile was back. “Yes, boss.” You rolled your eyes but the attitude didn’t last very long as his hands gripped your hips and he started going to town once again.

Your nails dug into the metal walls of the cooler, your body both hot and cold. You were moaning and whining, not even caring if you were heard at this point. Your entire body was buzzing with pleasure. The fact that you’d already came twice and was more than likely going to a third time? You might just pass out from the euphoria of it all. 

The line cook’s movements grew more desperate and erratic. You knew he wasn’t going to be lasting much longer and neither were you. Both of you were making enough noise and with the skin slapping on top of it, there was no way the cooler was masking all of it.

He slammed inside of you one final time, sending both of you over the edge. You came all over the wall again, knowing you were probably going to have to scrub the damn place at this point. You shivered as he filled you up to the brim and then some, feeling it trickle down your leg.

The two of you stayed like that for a moment, panting heavily as you recovered. After some time, Killer straightened up, slowly pulling out of you. With how oversensitive you were right now, it almost riled you up again. When he pulled out, another shiver racked your body as you were suddenly left empty. 

You heard him shuffle himself around before moving to help you. You turned around, looking at him.  “Are you alright?”

At this point, you weren’t sure - still on cloud nine. “I think I’ll be fine.” You stretched a bit, wincing slightly. “Tomorrow’s gonna suck though.” 

“I can cover for you.”

You looked at him for a moment before bursting into laughter. “No offense, but I think you’d be a shit server. Completely different vibe from cooking.” 

He frowned. “And here I thought shagging you would take the attitude out of you.” 

You raised a brow, putting your hands on your hips. “Is that what you thought? Sorry, this isn’t something that comes from needing to be laid. I’m just always a bitch - personality trait.” You shrugged, retying your apron. You fixed yourself up before looking over at Killer. You snorted, buttoning his shirt back up.

“Looks like I’ll just have to try again.” A smug smile appeared on his face and you looked at him, a smile tugging on the corners of your own. “You can try as many times as you want, loverboy. It ain’t happening.” 

“I’ll ice that cake anytime.” Your eyes widened at his words and he laughed. “Yeah, I heard your little baker comment earlier. So you like my ass?” He winked, making your face turn red. “Fix your hair,” you mumbled. “Make it look less obvious we just boned.”

“Yes, boss.”

You rolled your eyes, flinging the walk-in door open to reveal several of your coworkers standing there. Wire grinned widely, a smug look on his face. “Everyone owes me twenty bucks.” There were collective groans. “No one knows our head server better than me, you should’ve known better than to bet against me.” He shook his head, holding his hand out as everyone forked over money. 

“But they literally never sleep with anyone that works here ever,” someone protested, pouting.

“Wait - does that mean they were in there boning when we…?”

You knew right then and there - you were never going to hear the end of this.

[mouthsfeel]

i want the world overturned like a bowl of eggs, smashed at my feet.

ÁNGEL VIEIRO. TWENTY-NINE. HE & HIM. BARTENDER & LEAST FAVORITE SHIFT PARTNER, INFIERNO.

tldr; man leaves a trail of chewed up plastic straws and people in his wake.

 i   heard   from   a   friend   of   a   friend   that   they’re   charismatic, approachable   &   unpredictable, secretive.   it’s   no   wonder   they’ve   made   it   this   far   in   the   city,   they’ve   been   here   for   twenty years.   now   that   i   get   a   good   look   at   them   they   kinda’   remind   me   of   reptilia   by   the strokes.

01. he wasn't always handsome. first he was cute, then pretty, then, god — beautiful. there are worse things to be than a beautiful man, even one who knows it. but what's less survivable than a man who wields it? angel lives with his knife turned outward, grip practiced; thumb on the spine, forefinger steadying on the blade's flat. it's easy from this position to render skin clean from flesh. what's worse than his face is the shapes he makes with it: angel's charming. he smiles easily, readily, open-toothed. he looks you in the eye when you talk, chin nestled over a closed fist. he keeps the hook-gaze while he works, while he tastes the drink he's going to push your way in just a second. he hangs on the serrated edge of your pleasure, cracks open when your mouth shapes around that very first — oh, it's good!

02. it's a sort of sink drain conundrum: he was always going to end up this way, sluicing down the sides, excess scraped and squeezed out for good measure. all to say — yes, angel has always been a little bit like this, charming enough to glide through the u-bend and just self-possessed enough to try in the first place. it's the right side of the wrong ingredients and just enough experimenting to find the perfect sweet-bitter edge. broken curfews and sticky-fingered smiles. dimples. change counted carefully at the bodega register, talking nonsense all the way through. a new yorker's sense for the good trouble and the bad. tipping 30%, always, even when it means no new groceries.

03. the worst part, honestly, the real rotten egg yolk in a perfect frothy white, is that most of the time it's all genuine. it's not even set dressing, because at the end of the day anyone standing behind a bar or over a hot stove knows the knife is just a tool. the smile is real. the love, sometimes, is real too. angel gets it from his father. he used to sit in his lap in the early, early hours, sky streaked hazy and his father still stinking of kitchen and beer, and trace those deep grooves of life on his face. his father would trace them back on angel before he stumbled off to bed. cesar's work gave him crow's feet and breakfast sandwiches. angel's just gave him fucking tinnitus.

04. infierno — it's a dream, man, really. no seriously, yeah, i couldn't imagine a better — yeah, yeah, yeah. it's something like the truth, when angel's squatting on the alley curb smoking his cigarette so fast it's making his head spin because he really can't be taking another break, but fuck if he's doing another ten espresso martinis without one, and a likes-to-think-he's-one-of-the-guys patron stumbles over and asks to bum an authentically back pocket crushed smoke. and it's not untrue, but it's also a job, with good days and worse ones. is it a dream job? fuck no. but yeah, sure man, he'll party after. he gets off at 4.

WANTED PLOTS

at infierno

french 75. a flirtationship for the ages. there's a low hum of chemistry beneath every interaction, and while angel isn't one to shy away from, ahem, fucking his coworkers, this one is keeping him on his toes more than he's used to.

negroni. truly the staff ride or die. their implicit trust in each other was forged through infierno's growing pains and now they're practically telepathic in each other's orbit. despite the intimacy, it's somehow little more than controlled chaos when they're both on the ticket.

sea salt martini. these are professionals, paramount in their roles. they'll play nice for the guests and no one will see the knives out under the bar. everything between them is an opportunity for competition and sabotage.

manhattan. got off on the wrong foot, and honestly, angel isn't that bothered to try and right it. it was probably his fault in the first place, but now they've gone and pissed him off so he's not going to do anything about it but dig his heels in some more.

old fashioned. someone who dislikes everything about angel and with perfectly good reason. he relies too much on his charm; he's underhanded and dismissive of workplace ethics and often decorum. but they're also the only one he'll listen to when they finally tug the leash.

at echelon

whiskey sour. fellow bartenders, for better or worse. they push each other, they antagonize each other, they rib and they joke and they share trade secrets so long as you don't tell the gm. seriously, keep your mouth fucking closed. okay but who's your supplier?

spicy margarita. potential poacher? poachee? it's all a little bit of a joke, like everything to angel before he's forced to take things seriously, and it's hard to tell where the line's drawn. is he really being asked to leave infierno? would he, for them?

dark 'n' stormy. worst person alive, mutual. they cannot stand even the sight of each other and won't tell anyone else why except to get them the fuck away. whether unexpected or not, the shared close quarters of echelon and infierno is going to be unpleasant for everyone involved.

lemon drop. hooked elbows on the way to the only bar still open after theirs. beyond anything else, they have each other to split tabs and 6-packs and cigarettes, whatever the night (or, usually, morning) calls for. angel's slept on their floor more times than he'd like to admit.

with guests

sazerac. a reviewer that angel's royally fucked it for before. he'll play as cool as usual, all easy smiles and warm charisma, elbows on the oiled bartop. but let's be real: he's sweating fucking bullets every time they show face.

vodka soda. the regulars of all shapes and sizes. there are ones angel doesn't care for but will pretend otherwise, ones he'll bend over backwards for, and definitely definitely one's he's gone home with when his electric bill wasn't paid.

image credit: 1, 2