#and other random trains of thought start and stop that i dont think i have control over?

[imaybe5tupid]

Traveling alone is quite dangerous for a girl.

(my toshiro overcompensating trans man hc)

bonus 1

bonus 2 ft. toshiyuki (middle brother) grown up a little but still a menace

[nintendont2502]

Lmao I found this old video I made to try and explain what my mind sounds like most of the time and its. Pretty accurate

(warning for just way too many sounds playing at once. Seriously it isn't a fun time lmao)

[90ekz]

ive head this nagging thought in the back of my head that satoru has some kinda random spot on his body that’ll make him instantly pop a bone. I DONT KNOW JUST WORK WITH ME HERE PLS 🙏 i love your works btw 😘

✧ sweet spot, ft. satoru gojo

✧ tags: mostly fluff, whiny satoru, ‘baby’ as a nickname, did i say mostly fluff already??, dry humping, overstim, loser satoru cs he’s mushy and in love

✧ an: this idea is now living in my head and not paying rent, thanks a lot anon :/

satoru usually just does his own hair care, and he’s very meticulous about it. he wants everything to be clean and pristine—not that you weren’t capable of doing that for him, he’s just very, very dramatic. he didn’t even know this spot was sensitive until… literally now.

he’s standing in the bathroom as you brush your teeth, absentmindedly rubbing his hand over his growing undercut. he figured it was time for him to cut it anyway, but his arms were very sore from some training he’d done with the kids yesterday.

“babe.”

“y’esh?” he chuckled at your mouthful of the minty paste, and just waited for you to finish brushing. when you finally did, you turned to face him as he brushed his thumb over the white pooling on the corner of your mouth.

“can you cut my hair today? ‘arms are so sore.” satoru whined, his finger still tracing your lip lazily.

“have you washed it? i don’t need your lice transferring to me—ouch! okay, okay, plug in the clippers!” you giggled as he pinched your lip. the clippers rested on his side of the sink, and he plugged them in wordlessly. you stood behind him, lightly brushing the area with the small brush you know is the most comfortable for him. satoru sighs lightly as you do this, and his shoulders relax.

he didn’t know exactly what it was, but your hands felt different than his. you made him so sensitive usually anyway, but this was weird. his cheeks were heating, and everything was tingling, not just his neck.

and then you did it.

the clippers worked in upward strokes as you trimmed the hair down, and suddenly your thumb brushed over some magical pressure point of his. satoru felt pleasure shoot down his spine like he never had before, and a almost girly squeak slipped out before he could stop it. your eyes go wide and you remove the clippers from his neck. satoru is deathly still, and you watched color bloom over his cheeks in the mirror.

“…you okay sato’?” the nickname drips off your tongue like honey—so effortless, so intimate, and he hates that you decided to use it right now. he can’t take it. you’ve never called him that, and he can hear the amused tilt in your voice.

satoru gulps, because he doesn’t know what to say. how does he say that he wants you to keep going, to keep brushing over that exact spot so he can pinpoint exactly what that feeling was just now? he’s never felt anything like that when he cut his own hair…

he settles on a weak little “i’m fine, baby,” because frankly? he doesn’t trust himself to say any other words right now.

you give him a little smile in the mirror before your hands start working again, and you finally start getting somewhere with actually cutting his damn hair. he doesn’t feel anything out of the ordinary happen anymore, and now he’s finally cleanly shaven again like he likes. you did an exceptional job, and satoru peppers you with kisses as a reward.

he mostly stops thinking about it after this.

yeah, maybe the thought lingers in the back of his head for a few hours after, and maybe he stands in the bathroom rubbing his thumb over the back of his neck for a little longer than considered normal, but it was fine.

except for when you call him down to finish watching the movie you’d started earlier, and he’s laying on your chest as you run your fingers through his hair. satoru isn’t even paying attention to what your hand is doing as he yaps about the plot of the film, and you listen.

“he’s a piece of shit! i mean, he stayed with his side piece on the plane, and made his wife drive in the snow? fuck mike ‘till it’s backwards.” satoru spits, his attention fully focused on the movie’s plot.

unlike you, who’s mind was still in the bathroom, cutting satoru’s hair.

you haven’t stopped thinking about the little noise he’d made as you’d accidentally pressed your finger over the nape of his neck, right where the hair started. he sounded so weak—so vulnerable, and you decided right then that you needed to hear much more of that.

your mind was now solely focused on one thing, and your hand was moving just as it was in the bathroom. you twirled your fingers around strands, until finally threading your fingers through his hair and giving a small tug. this tore a stuttered breath out of satoru, and you smiled. he’d gone a little more rigid against you, and his commentary had stopped as you payed so much attention to him. he was losing focus of the movie, too.

“b-babe,”

“hmm?” you hummed back, fingers now traveling from his hair to his lower neck, tracing small circles there. you knew what you were looking for, but why not tease a little first?

satoru couldn’t answer you if he tried—every word in his throat dies as you press down onto that spot once more, and he’s slamming his hand on-top of yours to make sure you don’t move it. he isn’t sure why he does that exactly, but why does it matter? why does anything matter when you’re touching him like this?

he can’t do this, just one press on his spot has his dick rising and stiff against your thigh, and even you can hardly believe it.

“sato.” you grip his hair to pull him off your chest, just enough to look at you. he whines from the mixture of the nickname and the sting of his scalp.

“b-baby, please.” satoru breathes. you know what he’s asking for, and you figured you’d done enough teasing for a while. you grin, rubbing your thumb back and forth over the pressure point back and forth, up and down, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he came just from this based on the sounds he was making. he hovers you, his arms barely holding his body up, and he’s heaving into your neck.

“breathe, satoru.”

“mmph—i will! i will, just please don’t stop,” satoru whines, his hips grinding down against your thigh. sure, this whole thing is embarrassing as hell, but he couldn’t help the cheeky grin that stretched across his face as you indulged him. as you ran your acrylics over the sensitive part of him, he dropped his head back into your shoulders, and his own started to shake violently.

he was laughing.

you were shocked by this, but you didn’t dare stop. at some point, you couldn’t help but snort a little as he grasped onto you. it was cute—the way his giggles melted into moans, the way he couldn’t control himself or his emotions in the moment. there were no coherent thoughts forming in his head except for fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.

and you loved it that way.

[lappel-du-vide83]

Also getting back to the manhwas train I finally read debut or die which was?? Not at all like I was expecting?? But anyways, here are just my reactions (often kinda random) but I hope you read through and can figure out what's going on while finding it funny!

Also don't ask me which chapter it starts at because brother in arms I don't know either

EUGENE IS SO FUNNY

[VTIC Cheongryeo sunbae-nim: Call me if you feel like dying ^^]

- LMFAOOOO what

didn’t know where this dogsh*t idea came from. Does his pituitary produce saliva instead of hormones? It was fortunate that he was the type to be impressed by trivial interpersonal relationships.

- woah what went straight for the jugular

I never thought that the situation where I cried for the first time in nearly 7 years would be live in front of a camera with 13,000 people.

- AND AIN'T AFRAID TO CRY

- OR TREAT HIS MAMA RIGHT

“You didn’t have a trashy attitude back then, Moondae. You just worked hard even though you were sick. Chungwoo hyung was worried too.”

- Oml

[We have to lose!]

- Bless cha Eugene's heart

-- HE'S SAYING IT IN ENG

Hey, that’s scary. I’m scared.’

- Behold the intelligence of mcs

The company’s internal network structure is derived from T1.’

- HOLY SHIT THIS GUY'S DEDUCTING SKILLS IS CRAZY

- Have you considered a career in

- Forensic?

He also gave very American advice.

- LMFAO

I cheered as I reviewed the ten-day seclusion plan.

- FR

- secluded for 10 days sounds like the DREAM

‘I am so f*cking uncomfortable with it, you bastard.’

- Leave the poor man alone 😭

-- Is this..?

-- THE KIDNAPPING???

(- WHAT

Why don’t you try to commit suicide?”

- CRAZY BASTARD

-- He is now the kidnapper

--- Kidnappee turn kidnapper

Because I beat the sh*t out of him.”

- Amen

It’s okay. I won.”

- HELL YEAH YOU DID

The fact that I was injured enough to go to the hospital was funnier.

- WHAT STOP

- HE COLLAPSED

- WTF

- PLS REST

--

HE'S ACTUALLY SO MANIPULATIVE

-- USING THE SKILL

-- SUBTLY CHANGING THEIR THOUGHTS IT'S CRAZY

---

DO YOU REALLY WANNA WORK THAT HARD

Arent you drinking too much

- ONG was not expecting this to actually be a problem

You look tired these days!”

- OMG HE _IS_ AN UNRELIABLE NARRATOR

--

Oh no he got a SURPRISE BDAY PARTY

-- Woah so his actual one is 8 dec??

-- That's awfully close

---

WATCHING RED PANDAS IN THE CORNER OF HIS ROOM

--- SAUR CUTE

----

HIS GRANDMA IS AN OPP

---- I'M SORRY IT'S REALLY MEAN BUT GET IT TOGETHER GIRL

---- OMG CHA YUJIN INSISTING THAT HE STAY

---- URGHHH MY HEART

Self criticism should be done during spare time not when it's a nuisance

- I respect this man so much

like a brainless idiot

- STOP

- YOU ARE SMART

- AND AMAZING

- YOU JUST GIVE 200% AT THE WRONG TIMES

--

AW OMG HE CARES SO MUCH

-- BLESS RAEBIN

-- EVERYONE ACTUALLY

-- THEY ARE THERE FOR EACH OTHER SO MUCH

- - -

Woah wait so they're aiming for a Moondae is the the same person as bae sejin feel??

--- I am INVESTED in the mv lore

It doesn't matter if it was worse this time

- NO

- IT'S ALREADY SO BAD

- THE RECOIL SHOULD NOT GET WORSE

- THAT'S RIGHT SLEEP MORE

- JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BACCHUAS DOESN MEAN YOU DONT NEED SLEEO

--

OH NO

-- THE ACCIDENT

-- STOP

-- ARGHHH

-- WILL YOU REST PLEASE

-- OH THANK FUCK

---

WAIT

--- NO

--- NONONONO

--- STOP

--- NOT ALLT HE WAY BACK

--- Daydream??

( how desparate he is)

- OH MY FUCKING GOD

- SHOULD I JUMP OFFF

- NO

- OMG

- NO

--

OMG THIS REALISATION is Tearing me APART

rapid prayers in spanish

- the angst here is killing me

--

THANK GOD FOR NECTAR

-- 18 DAY COMA

OMFG

-- CHA YUJIN IS SAUR CUTE

-- BRIBED HIM WITH TANGEIRNES

-- HE'S SORRY

-- HE IS FORGIVEN

-- CHA YUJIN KEEPING QUIET ABOUT VTIC

-- AND BLACKMAILING MOONDAE

-- SO ADORABLE

---

FUNDRAISING

--- He's actually so sweet

--- PLS EVERYONE WAS CRYING

"do you think I'm some kind of sociopath"

- SEJIN NO

- THEYRE FRIENDS <333

- PLEASE I NEED THEM TO BE HAPPY

--

So the system is actively trying to help him??

---

TSRANDED ARC!!

--- Lights out :0

--- SAVE THE CHICKENS

--- The secret door is so ominous

--- Horror arc

--- OMG MOONDAE GOING wtf do I do??

--- SO REALL

--- WAS SO SCARED FOR A SECOND

----

THE MEETING

---- OMG

---- OMG

---- OMG

---- OMG

---- AHHHHHH

---- DID HE RUN AWAY???

---- I'M SO CONFUSED

---- BUT RGW IN THIS CONTEXT IS SO SWEET

HE TRIED TO COMMIT DEATH

- WHAT

- WHAT THE FUCK

- HUH

- IT ENDED LIKE THAT????

- No more abnormalities???

- WHAT

--

:OO A CONVO WITH OG PMD

Ah the need to be in control of every situation

- So valid

AND THEN MY TEXTS JUST END THERE SO...

anyways hope you had a laugh

And I really hope this fandom gets so much bigger than it is now :)

[itsdappleagain]

i know csweekly is on hold now, but I still have to catch up on The Luchadora Tango Caper, so here it is!!

Season 3 is maybe my least favorite season out of any of them, but I still love it, so I'm really excited to get into this!

Notes under the cut as always and please ignore the fact that I'm a month late on this thx

NEW CASTLE!!! NEW CASTLE YAYYY

sometimes I think this whole series is Maelstrom just talking about shit for like 14 hours

cleo sympathizing with guys in skirts <3 she knows ur struggle boys

love how they slapped up a giant glowing green world map and copper sulfate burning chandeliers before they put in insulation or heat

brunt, girl, calm down. they were just doing their evil minion bagpipe job

british on british violence

that was such a cute nod when this season first dropped. haha theres been no sign of her all summer because of the hiatus you are so clever

they rlly thought they had something with the turn them against each other thing. i cant believe they thought they tvy7 rating would let shadowsan and carmen kill each other 🙄

"carmen is DEAD" (cheery tango music)

i mean it works because we know hes wrong and stupid but like

no offense but the tango dancers are animated in a way that is reminiscent of a kid manually moving their barbie dolls legs to make them walk

our girl <3

tell me why dropping 200 feet onto the top of the metal detector was more sneaky than literally anything else she could have done

ok. yes. but the fact she is robbing it does not negate the fact that she will be on the news for breaking into a bank dsjfsdghfkdsa

1021 is the number on the box- could it mean something? in a strictly doylist sense. october 21st doesn't seem to have any significant holidays...I can't find anything, might just be a random number set.

good god the "i...have his eyes." hits me like a truck every time

gina pulled it out with the voice acting in this one

she WAS a very cute baby

"another" link girl what else has there been you should be ecstatic

ayyy its the character literally everyone except spintrap-stan and amaryllis solely remember for being voiced by dante basco

i love how snarky carmen immediately gets. if he knows her name and what she looks like, obviously he's an operative, so she gets to have a little fun in immediately declining him while still gaining valuable information, almost immediately, about who he is and what his talent will be

everyone is very stretched today

this is not my favorite fight scene honestly (at least until flytrap gets here. dont even get me started on her fighting style im in love with it) because its literally just like ooh. he kicks. she dodges. wow. they really do try with the tango parallels but idk

wow!! other people can kick too??? who knew

she protected the face

cutely runs into oncoming traffic

those cars were not even slowing down girl they were just like HONK MOVE OR DIE

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FLYTRAP MY GIRL

okay mini rant incoming i already did a post on this like a billion years ago but flytrap is one of my favorites because in my opinion she and paper star are the most dangerous villains we ever see in the show. let me. try to find that post actually

yeah here it is

flytrap is also so hot and has the same va as luz so she's just top tier. idk if the team put half the episode budget into celebrity voice actors and thats why we only got 5 episodes but you know what

love how carmen is literally stopping her attempts to get free to banter. girl. stop

shadowsan <3

love how they do not even bother showing the fight they just get their asses handed to them

why didnt they start in veracruz just asking

not the table

ok guys. you can stop with the tango thing now. its okay

that little conversation between ivy and shadowsan is so good

comrades??? sir its not the cold war

article from 17 years ago, thank you for that easy to understand slang

carmen plot armored her way out of getting her skull smashed in on that train so hard that she made maelstrom stupid

its canon both in and outside of the show that color theory is so prevalent that any sort of red at all immediately signals carmen

the colors are so beautiful in this scene. carmen doesnt have her coat or jacket on, everythings just a little desaturated as she searches

THE ACME GANG <3333

not the finger guns and glasses wheeze hes such a loser i love him

THE FORESHADOWING TO EGYPT WITH THE PYRAMIDS ON HER LAPTOP!!!!

love how all we get of julia this season is her being pissed off and then leaving

he was such an asshole for closing her laptop why did he do that 😭

has carmen just been ignoring vile missions for the last season of the year to research her mom or

girlie is so sad about everything

ah yes, the door, the thing you wish to have opened, the best place to lean your full body against after you knock,

i'M SOrry. did you NOT attend a school for THIEVES

HSDGGDG HEY. just broke into your house. im your long lost daughter

i love how she goes DONT TOUCH ANYTHING and then immediately drags her whole arm across the wall and cabinet

also her face when she sees the masks is perfect

okay be honest how many of you have replayed carmen saying maybe mommy at least once. who. raise your hands

shes sooo buff

love how everyone is taking this so seriously and then carmen is just completely apathetic about anything thats going on

dont deadname lupe, carmen

her hair catching a gust of indoor wind for the sole purpose of making her look sick as hell in her intro card is so iconic

as ivy absolutely obliterating zack in the foreground is so fucking funny

she got that "EH EH EH." titter of "HEY NO. DONT YOU DO THAT" down scary well

devineaux strutting im sobbing. julia was doing SO well and then she got paired with devineaux AGAIN

that cab driver looks so concerned about the hulking texan in his backseat

remember when the trailer dropped and we thought those roses were for julia. good times

everyone narrowly avoiding each other as they pull in

you just know ivy smacked zack when he protested to decoy time hdsafhadsg

gotta say the "EH?" while getsuring to the trophies is fucking hilarious. obviously julia knows she wouldnt go after those but its so funny

i do love the way carmen just shrinks any time brunt appears. she is soooo traumatized

VAMOOSE EL MASKO SHES SO ACCURATREIUSDHKFSKHFD SHES EXACTLY WHAT MIDDLE AGED AMERICAN SOUTHERNERS SOUND LIKE

LUPE IS SO FUCKING COOL

devineaux showcasing his braincells for a spilt second this episode

ah, so begins the not a good time mantra

devineaux getting absolutely decimated because he thinks coach brunt thinks hes handsome is so funny

the referee watching two apparent civilians enter the ring: 🙂

carmen is so funny here. she uncuffs herself and then just leaves devineaux to die like fuck his ass he can get smooshed

carmen getting increasingly mad at devineaux while she drags him places is my favorite part of the episode

also, either carmen got stronger or devineaux had a few bouts of crazed research where he didnt eat, but she can drag him easily now as opposed to when she was struggling back at the trap in poitiers

they put this shot in the trailer and without context it just looked like carmen was standing there glaring at brunt menacingly

the cat burglar <3

worst fucking ref on the planet i love him

was carmen stopping to listen to julia's voice i would like to think so

ah the devineaux and cars gag. i mean, to be fair, it wasnt his fault this time

starts beatboxing

carmen really just dumped her whole life story on lupe thats so funny. girlie started the day preparing for a match, got her house broken into, and then ended the day learning about a global crime syndicate

they really ended s2 going THE NEXT SEASON WILL FOCUS ON CARMENS MOM and then started s3 going well actually um okay so

theres our transition sentence

lupe's yellow and blue palette btw!! cs color theory i love you

lupe is more of a mom than carlotta ever gets to be thats sad honestly

carmens little smile ough

here is a shot that very succinctly illustrates the dynamics in the coming seasons. the three at the table stand strong- always have. roundy is basically a footnote no one cares about him and then brunt...brunt is sort of on the edge. this carries over all the way into s4 when malestrom tries to drown her

oh my god i forgot about the weird halloween thing the faculty has going on this season i love it

my analysis is right in time for spooky season >:) halloween IS nearly upon us!!!

OKAY well my thoughts on the luchadora tango caper...pretty good. honestly its kind of net zero information because we introduce the premise of finding carmens mom and then immediately abandon it but it sets up um....well....it sets up....what does it set up

anyway- not my favorite episode, even though lupe is fucking awesome. i think it suffers a little from deviating from that classic caper structure and jumping around, but it does its job as an introductory episode.

until we return, sayonara, mon amigos!

[heartsoulspiritelite]

Adam Cole x MJF

Summary-

The ride back was tense, awkward, and long.

Once they arrived back at the hotel, neither knew what to say, which was odd.

Max was being super quiet, Adam didn't know what to do. They hugged it out, everything was fine right?

~

Panicked

The ride back was tense, awkward, and long.

Once they arrived back at the hotel, neither knew what to say, which was odd.

Max was being super quiet, Adam didn't know what to do. They hugged it out, everything was fine right?

MJF was sitting on the hotel bed staring at his lap, Adam was watching him from the seperate hotel bed beside him.

He usually got annoyed at Maxwell's rants and wanted nothing more but for him to shut up, Now was different. He got used to the man's antics and now he wanted nothing more but for Max to talk to him again.

Plus Max kind of has no right to be mad, He was practically bullying Adam's friend, He had to do something. Once Adam was finished with his task on checking up on Roddy, He found Max and they both drove to their hotel in a taxi, That brings us to what is happening now.

Max moved his gaze onto Adam and stared at him for a couple seconds. Like he was analyzing him or something.

"Im sorry" He whispered

Adams eyebrows scrunched in confusion

"Man we already sorted this out its fine" It really wasn't fine but he didn't want to make more of fuss.

"But it's not Adam. You're aloud to have as many friends as you want, It- Its not something im use to and im sorry, I guess it just hurts hearing  everybody say all of these horrible things about me to you when im right there." He confessed, His voice laced with sadness

He scratched the back of his neck and moved his gaze from adam back onto his lap, He still wasn't used to apolagizing and actually meaning it, It was odd.

Adam went to Max's bed and sat infront of him

"Oh Max, Look i get it, its alright okay, i promise, I keep telling them you're actually a good person when you're around the right people, they just dont understand that and im sorry" He whispers in a comforting tone.

Max nods, taking in his words

"Wanna play videos games" Adam asks with a sheepish smile trying to break slight awkwardness and end the current situation.

He wanted to bring the man's spirits back up, he discovered that he actually really enjoyed his tag partners random long rants, No matter how many times Max denies it, He can tell the man enjoys playing Adam's videos games with him.

Max perked up at this

"Sure, Of course buddy let's play" He replied smiling

They got everything set up and sat next to each other shoulder to shoulder at the edge of the bed.

About an hour later they decided to wrap up the game and take a shower before getting ready for bed. They have an early flight.

While waiting for Max to finish his shower, Adam just sat on the bed waiting, He started thinking about his life. About Britt, He wasn't even thought about her at all recently, Suddenly he feels really bad and takes his phone out of his pocket to send her text.

Adam: Hey love, how are you? I miss you

He sent his message and waited, and waited, until his train of thought got interrupted by Max walking out the bathroom in just a towel.

Adams eyes widened and he tried adverting his gaze, While he felt a blood rush up into his cheeks.

"U-um Max took you long enough" He tried to joke in a shakey voice

"Oh yeah sorry about that brochacho" He said back not realising Adam's state.

Adam grabbed a towel and pajamas and rushing his way into the bathroom.

He stared at his reflection thinking about what just happened, Why did he feel that way? He sees Max shirtless and in his small wrestling gear all of time. What was different about this? The way the water dripped down his torso.. the wa- Oh my god he has to stop.

He started panicking what was going on. He started getting dizzy and breathing heavy.

"Hey Adam you okay" He heard max ask worriedly after he finished getting dressed and heard Adams cries of distress

He couldn't form a single thought

"Im coming in"

He opened door and saw his tag team partner on the ground unable to breath properly

"Hey buddy breath with me okay" he attempted to calm him down

"I-i cant" Adam cried

"Yes you can, Here listen to my heart alright calm down, Just breath" He brought the panicking man onto his lap while trying to stay calm

Adam clutched max's shirt and listened to his heart beat. After what felt like forever he finally was able to breath properly again.

"T-thank you" He whispered removing himself from Max's lap

"You fuckin scared me man, you sure you're alright?" He asked quietly while looking at Adam with the most soft and concerned gaze.

"Yeah i just- i dont know" He said looking at the ground

"What happened? What brought this up?" He questioned

He felt himself blush again and quickly got up and left the bathroom

"Wait Adam where are you-?" He tried to ask while following him

"Please leave me alone im fine okay.." He whispered

Max look slightly hurt and confused

Adam just felt so overwhelmed

"Man why can't you tell-"

"BECAUSE I LIKE YOU, YOU IDIOT" He started sobbing and collapsed to the ground on his kness

Max froze for a second before he looked down and seen his bestfriend and knee'd down infront of him

"H-Hey breath darling please, you can't have another panic attack"

"I-Im sorry, i never realized it until today" He said miserably

Max smiled

"It's alright, I like you too, i just couldn't say anything because all i knew was that you were a straight man in love with Britt Baker" He blushed and avoided Adam's gaze

"Oh shit. Britt, holy fuck, what do i do?" He rushed out

"Just tell her the truth man, thats all you can do" He advised him

He still cares for her deeply and always will, but right now he thinks the person he truly loves is right infront of him.

"Okay" He sighs

Before he thinks about it any longer he pushes himself up and kisses Max.

Max of course kisses back and makes it so Adam straddles his lap.

Adam breaks the kiss

"You know i don't think you're clean enough" he smirks and whispers into Max's ear

"Oh yeah?, Well it would be a shame to waste more water huh" He whispers back

Adam felt himself get butterflies

"Shower with me?" he asks shyly

To answer his question Max lifts them both up off the ground, and hears Adam gasp in surprise, He reconnects their lips and carries them both back into the bathroom and turns the shower back on.

~Cross-posted on wattpad & ao3~

Bro they bouta fight twice in the same night-

[saetoru]

how are u so good at writing . reveal ur secrets pls . but seriously, what advice would u give ??

HAGDFKJSHDF this is so kind :( to be rly honest, i personally don't have the best relationship with my own writing (as a lot of writers in all realness) so i cant say im rly confident in any advice 😭 but idk hopefully these might help u improve at least—which is always the main goal anyway

i have some advice on writing fics here

and i have advice on writing smut here if u write nsfw

and some more below the cut:

over all i would say that reading all types of media can really help you find a voice in writing—poetry can help you make better metaphors and have a more "deep" / "meaningful" writing voice, reading novels can help you develop an ability to tell stories and build a detailed world, etc. but yeah u can read fanfic, articles, journals, poems, books, wtv u read rly can help u pick up not just ways to develop writing voices, but also you can just learn about the world u know ?? i been reading a few articles about the royal family in the news and its taught a lot about how the inner works of royalty is set up—things that u don't rly take the time to care to know, but in my head as i was reading it i was like omg if i ever wrote a royal au this would be so useful 💀 so yeah, very basic tip, but reading is always number one advice. and again, dont limit urself to one type of writing !! writing is so vast, u can pick up something from any genre of it

also have a certain position / place / set up when u write. i know it sounds kind of dumb at first like okay whats the difference between if i write at my desk vs at my couch but its big !! for me at least. i find that if i try to write anywhere else besides by desk im just more easily distracted and then it cuts my train of thought and my sentences come out choppy and then my flow is ruined. theres actually a big difference in my writing based on location. and having a playlist helps !! whether its of songs with lyrics that inspire you (such as sad songs for angst, romantic ones for something more intimate, etc.) or just plain classical music. classical music has been a game changer for me. (don't ask me for recs i couldn't name a single song or artist if u held a gun to my head LMAONSDFG i just search random spotify playlists)

as far as writing goes, i think its important to start writing when u have a vague ending in mind—you don't always have to have the middle parts figured out, but having an ending can help guide u as u write and pick up momentum and figure out more things to say what the middle part will be to get u to that ending. i almost never write anything without an ending in mind. sometimes its one line and sometimes its an idea / concept of an event that will happen. but yeah an ending can rly help u figure out how to structure a fic !!

figuring out if ur stronger in dialogue vs the commentary portion of writing (for lack of better words LMAO but yall know what i mean—i hope) can also help u !! i think im a bit more dialogue suited as a writer, so a lot of the things i wanna convey, like a character's feelings and thoughts, are shown thru dialogue more often. if u focus more on what ur good at, the other things will kind of come on their own so u can continue—like when i say something thru dialogue that needs some context, the next paragraph might be some background on the character that explains it. which is just basic writing i know skjdhfjgdf but sometimes i just write out like a full convo of dialogue nonstop and go back and actually add the "meat" in between to it afterward. and that's bc the dialogue comes easy to me u know ?? and the commentary / story building in between doesn't, so focusing on one forces me to have to incorporate the other and by then i've somewhat figured out what to write by then. << this method can also rly help u improve ur dialogue too tho if u struggle on that bc seeing a convo just non stop without any background info in between to break it can give u an idea of how it sounds and what the dynamic between two characters is.

also to help with dialogue u can have a convo with yourself out loud 😭 i know that sounds dumb and weird BUT TRUST ME IT RLY HELPS KSHDGDF SOBSOB sometimes u just gotta talk to urself to have a convo flow !! and that way u can also really hear the words and know if they're a bit cheesy or cringe (we have all wrote a cringey dialogue here and there, no shame in it LMAO) but yeah 😭 talking to urself helps

i always suggest breaking things up into scenes that build into a plot. if ur having issues connecting parts of a story, just break it up into scenes. like my shin fic, if u read it (u don't have to for the example dw) but it was like literally like this in my drafts: shin and reader in shop, shin gets upset. shin and reader at home, slight confrontation / sex. shin + waka convo. shin hospital. KJASHGEHF (this sounds so dumb out of context LMAO) but yeah if u do that and then individually write those scenes out, its rly not much different than like maybe writing a drabble, which is far more manageable. and then u can connect them, and boom u have a full length fic !! but yeah that's something that helps me since im still developing my skills to write longer works

also rly discussing characters with friends, reading up on their information, and staying open to discussions that analyze characters is rly important !! we all have our own takes of a character so its okay if they're not always aligning with urs, but sometimes they can help u rly figure out a character and what u feel is their back story and the focal point of who they are—and the more u understand a character, the more describing them and portraying them will be easier. and trust me when u rly feel like u understand a character, the words don't stop, either when ur giving them dialogue or when ur just giving extra back story / commentary.

so yeah that was a bit rambly skhsd im rly sorry about that but i hope that helps a bit !! tysm for the kind ask and it rly did mean a lot to me <3 good luck on ur writing !!

[ihavebeenallthingsunholy]

killjoy fic. only one chapter so far, im trying to write some more.

she saw the first figure on the horizon, then the other three. they always travel in packs. usually four. idly she thought of the killjoys she'd grown up with. once four figures together meant salvation, family. now, it means target practice.

val raised his gun a split second after she raised hers. both were trained on the figure in the front of the drac-squad. val shot her a look that clearly meant- i've got this. don't bother.

it wasnt as if she liked him, but he did serve a purpose. val velocity was an attack dog, but he was too smart for his own good, and once you pointed him at something he'd stop at nothing. he showed no remorse and no acknowledgement that draculoids were people, once. she hated him for that. she lowered her gun, squinting through the heated air at the drac in front. the one val was pointing at. something felt familiar about the tilt of the white-clad shoulders, the rock-star tilted hips.

on impulse, she brought her arm up and knocked val's gun halfway out of his hand. "fuck d'ya think you're doing?" he said angrily. she didn't have a response, so she shot him a look and hoped that would be enough.

she turned her gaze to the draculoid in front only to realize that apparently she hadn't hit val's gun arm quickly enough. the figure seemed to be winged and was lying in the sand. the other three backed away to a safe distance, guns safely away. something seemed... off. until she realized the drac wasn't moving or struggling to get up. just laying in the sand like they were dead, but they clearly weren't. even from where she stood the girl could see that val's blast had only just grazed their shoulder. the bl/ind issue white drac jacket had a furrow through it, smoke curling upwards.

the girl inched forwards. doubts ran through her mind, encouraged by vals mutterings that she was going to get killed and that she'd deserve it, the dumbass kid. what if it was just playing dead and was really going to jump up and shoot her? she didn't think so. she'd gotten good at reading body language. the drac on the ground was an open book: not quite i give up, but i dont have the energy to keep going. not right now. the drac's curled up position reminded her of the way party had looked when val shot him the first time. laying in the hard-packed sand, blue-hazel eyes turned dazed up to heaven.

we'll get em next time, was what his eyes said.

for party poison, there wasn't a next time.

the girl mustered all her courage and tried her best to not think about red hair or a dusty old car. to not remember kobra's bike or his unreadable smile that drove cherri up the wall.

this was her life now. for the last twelve years it was survive, kill, forget. forget about explosives and cargo pants and an eyepatch and turning a random patch of desert into the only home she'd ever known. forget about power pup and poison red.

she shook her way out of her mind, memories sticking to her eyes like cobwebs. she roughly shoved the drac- person - onto their back with one steel toed boot. they still didn't move, and she glanced up at the other three, who were still sitting in their bl/ind car, watching with painted-on eyes.

after the first four had died, the girl had started carrying a razor-sharp knife around in her boot. they'd never hold her captive while other killjoys died again. now, she reached down to her boot and flicked the blade out in a practiced fluid motion. lately, she'd picked up the habit of trying to get a look at who the drac was before they died. everyone deserved that at least one person mourned for them, even if it was their murderer. or if not mourned, at least acknowledged they were ever alive.

she drew the knife up through the side of the mask, steel cutting rubber like warmed butter. not that she'd ever had butter, but there were stories. cautiously she pushed the edge of the mask back with the end of the blade. val hated this tradition of hers, and this time especially he made it known with a shout of "r' you actually FUCKING stupid? it's still alive AND ther'r more in th' car!"

she ignored him, as she always did, and looked down at the face. a rush of familiarity flooded through her.

blue-hazel eyes. the angles she'd noticed even before she saw the face. the brown-black hair that she only ever saw as a kid when the group ran low on hair dye for a few months.

maybe there was a god. or maybe she'd just gotten very, very lucky.

[mihai-florescu]

Hand over all your Tsumugi Headcanons asap. If you dont have anny hand over all the lore insted

Ive been in a bit of a slump creatively lately so i feel like i forgot any and all headcanons i ever had. I hoped i'd get better, i didnt, and having an unanswered asks bothers me so i'll be very boring in my reply.

Tsumugi's easy to misinterpret. He's clumsy and caring, but he also never lets any task he starts unfinished. He can be surprisingly cold, i think, because he sees himself as unaffected by what's happening around him.

Backstory wise, we know his mom falls prey easily to scam organizations (i believe it was mentioned theyre religious in nature, but i have to double check, it was definitely in Element). This lead to her losing money, a divorce, having to close the dance school she had where Tsumugi and Natsume met as kids. Tsumugi has an older brother who is distant from the family, presumably because of his mom's actions.

Despite all of this drama, Tsumugi doesn't resent his family. It was also a miscalculation on Eichi's part when he assumed Tsumugi was his friend cuz he wanted money to distance himself from his mom. Which was never the case. I personally would love more Tsumugi family lore, i want to meet his brother in the future, but alas, this is what we know so far.

When you think of the war, you condemn Eichi and Keito, but overlook that Tsumugi was just as much involved in scheming as the rest. He didnt start the war, but he was invested in seeing the plan finished, even after he got cast aside, he never neglected his duties down to the burning of the documents. He admits multiple times he sees what they did as a necessary action and never regrets it. But because he believed so much in Eichi and didn't want to acknowledge that it was a contract based friendship, you can't help but feel bad for Tsumugi. You're more willing to forgive him and pretend he was just manipulated by Eichi. Even Madara seems to have fallen for this and to be on good terms with Tsumugi now despite the animosity he holds towards the people who actively participated in the war.

Tsumugi adapts easily. It's part of his objective "i dont feel pain" persona he puts up. The main role he plays is that of bluebird of happiness, at first for Eichi, then for everyone else as a way to make up for the pain they've caused in the war. And this just makes him seem trustworthy and pleasant to talk to, it's why he has so many connections. He also seems to know a lot of secrets because of this persona. The younger characters see him as a caring older brother, but the rest just see him as inoffensive. Rei in particular is known to just. Share random secrets about other characters with Tsumugi.

Idk if anything im saying really matters, let's go in speculation territory. I cannot provide answers in the form of headcanons as requested, but i can provide questions. Im very curious how the story wouldve progressed if Tsumugi had been part of Valkyrie instead of Fine. Cuz we know he was in the handicrafts club, he stopped attending cuz it became more of a Valkyrie hangout spot, we know he adapts easily if he believes in a cause; i think he couldve followed Shu's demands if he could get himself to care for their artistic goals. And I really dont think the war wouldve been won by the student council if this had been the case. Shu and Natsume would also not have been part of the oddballs. Idk im not really going anywhere with this train of thought, im just saying Tsumugi was essential to the war and the narrative to progress as it did.

[exocynraku]

hiii breezepelt for the take game?

i love this guy also hi june

sexuality headcanon - he hasnt figured it out yet (unlabeled)

gender/pronouns headcanon - he/it

rate them out of ten - 9/10

favorite thing about them - his evilness and the funny dynamics i can come up with him and other characters like lionblaze and harestar and tigerheartstar and ivypool

least favorite thing about them - the fact they unevilled him. what the hell ERINS. also i dont like when he beat up jayfeather that was dumb

why i first started liking/disliking them - i thought he was so funny when i read the books he started being important in he is so. stupid. i love my son

do i relate/project onto/kin them? - yes a little bit

favorite quote/moment - "I know very well what you might think about me. But in my opinion, some warriors in other Clans are just looking for a reason to fight. Doesn't that make them just as much of a threat to our day-to-day lives as the cats who once trained with — or even fought for — the Dark Forest?"

my fav ship - breezepelt x harestar x tigerheart

my fav platonic friendship - breezepelt & ivypool i KNOW they werent friends in the dark forest but i like to imagine theyre friends now

a ship i hate - breeze x ivy

do i prefer canon or fanon? FAAANONNNN! 100%!

random headcanon - him & dovewing were friends before she moved away

what color do i picture them as - yellow and very very dark redish black

cat breed headcanon - hes kinda just a normal guy i dont have a cat breed for him

unpopular opinion - stop hating on him he is my son do not be mean to him hes going to cry ... stop it...

things i associate with them - fangs & claws and yellow eyed black cats (boring i know sorry)

song i associate with them - final girl by graveyardguy and slayyyter

favorite MAP/PMV/AMV with them - ameila bothes don't do sadness part. not the whole map just that one part

[spinachgarden]

I posted 7,773 times in 2022

148 posts created (2%)

7,625 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sidepartskinnyjeans

@wenellyb

@amarriageoftrueminds

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@blanket-burrito-bucky

I tagged 421 of my posts in 2022

#bucky barnes - 72 posts

#spinachgarden - 57 posts

#sambucky - 50 posts

#spinach answers - 50 posts

#sam wilson - 47 posts

#fic rec - 36 posts

#sarahbucky - 32 posts

#winterfalcon - 24 posts

#tag meme - 17 posts

#fic - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 103 characters

#me ignoring my 30+ abandoned wips in favour of starting a new one that will inevitably end up abandoned

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Spinach my dear this ask is random as hell so feel free to ignore! I dont even know if you care abt the howlies- I just thought you might be into the angst/eerie vibes.

After his unit was captured in ‘43 and forced to work at Hydra’s weapons facility, apparently Bucky was beaten within an inch of his life by one of the head goons running the place. Then his cellmates (some of whom would become howlies) planned an “accident” that killed the goon. Idk that just struck me? they were so loyal to Bucky that they risked something like that when they knew how nuts Hydra was? And then Bucky still gets taken away from them to be experimented on… But I wonder what other absolutely crazy shit they pulled that we don’t know abt.

hello friend!

I absolutely love the howlies!

this is a long answer so it's below the cut

and yes! this is all canon! if you're a comic book person, this is all detailed in Captain America: The First Vengeance - the companion comic to the movie. The guard, Lohmer, singled out and beat Bucky up pretty badly while he already was sick (I think they said he had pneumonia from poor conditions in the cells) so the Howling Commandos staged an 'accident' for Lohmer and crushed him under a bunch of metal. By doing so, another guard took his place and allowed Bucky to take a day off from work at the prison camp.

And then yeah, Zola found out he was sick and took him to the isolation ward. So there's that. Which sucks.

I think that the movie did us a disservice by not showing the bond between the Howling Commandos. Even in the tie-in comics, they really emphasize that they were very close, almost like brothers, and that they were 100% willing to do absolutely insane shit for each other. (including murder)

ON ANOTHER (darker, of course, it's me) NOTE:

y'all ever think about how Steve said 'sometimes we did stuff that made us not sleep so good'?

I heavily headcanon that the howlies didn't take prisoners. They operated quickly, quietly, behind enemy lines, and couldn't have brought prisoners back with them. Following this train of thought, the Commandos would've had to be pretty ruthless.

SO

yeah, I think that the murder of Lohmer, the prison guard, kinda shows that the Commandos had no issues with doing what had to be done to achieve their necessary ends. Need the guard to stop bothering Bucky? Alright, we kill him.

Can't bring prisoners back to base? Alright, we don't leave any survivors.

ANOTHER SAD HEADCANON I JUST THOUGHT OF

Sgt Barnes probably has a higher kill-count than the Winter Soldier

oop

29 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

#4

Okokok here’s a lil excerpt from the modern!Bucky/Cap!Sam fic I’m working on right now

--

“So,” Barnes drawls. “You’re the new Cap. Guess you’re going to have to get used to stuff like this.”

Sam groans. “I hate stuff like this,” he says.

Barnes grins and takes another long sip of his drink, and then sets the empty glass on the bar. “Aw, c’mon,” he teases. “It’s not so bad. Open bar, good food in tiny portions. And hey, it’s raising money for the VA, which if I’m correct, is right up your alley. What’s not to love?”

“Feels like every single conversation is a minefield,” Sam says. “Everybody’s trying to figure me out, see what I’ll do now that I’ve publicly taken up the shield. I’m tired of politicians.”

“Between you and me,” Barnes says quietly, “it’s not the politicians you should be worrying about. It’s the regular lookin’ guys. Everybody reports to somebody.” And then, as if that’s not the most daunting thing Sam’s heard all day, Barnes grins and shoots Sam a mock-salute. “Have a good night, Captain Wilson.”

36 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

#3

Ok, but in light of the recent fic with Bucky having a nightmare and Sarah taking care of him. How about Bucky taking care of Sarah? idk, maybe Sarah is sick and Bucky makes here some soup and does all the house chores. Or Sarah has a nightmare about losing Sam or Bucky and Bucky comforts her. Imagine the possibilities. You don't have to write anything, if you do you would be amazing and wonderful. And I'd thank you so much! But really, I'm only here to share thoughts.

friend thank you! 

I've been meaning to write some Bucky taking care of Sarah <3333

(If u think about it, this could absolutely be a sequel to either the nightmare fic or the Aftermath from AO3, I'm just saying)

Lighten the Load - SarahBucky

probably rated T for some language

Sarah wakes, groggy and disoriented, head throbbing something fierce. Her throat feels like it’s on fire, dry and scratchy, and a hoarse, wheezing cough rips itself out of her throat as she struggles to sit up. God, what time is it? It feels like she’s slept either way too much or not enough, but judging by the sunlight pouring in through the window, she’s thinking it’s the former. 

Wait. 

Shit. 

The bedside clock reads 10:30AM, and she’s certain she didn’t wake up and drive the boys to school without realizing it. Sarah scrambles, barely remembering to throw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt before running out of bed, down the stairs, and-

Straight into Bucky’s chest. 

“Whoa,” he says. “What’s the rush?”

“Where are the boys?” she asks around another coughing fit. 

“School,” Bucky says, one eyebrow raised. “I dropped them off for 8:30. They supposed to be somewhere else?” 

Sarah shakes her head, still resting against Bucky’s chest. He’s warm, and Sarah feels so, so cold, so she doesn’t bother moving. After a long minute, he wraps one arm around her waist, pulling her a little closer and kissing the crown of her head. 

“D’you wanna sit down?” he asks. “You were pretty out of it this morning, so I didn’t bother trying to wake you up.” 

“I had things to do this morning,” Sarah groans. “Errands. Chores. Work.” 

“You had a fever of 102.4,” Bucky says patiently. “And I called the restaurant, let them know you wouldn’t be coming in. Chores are done, but I didn’t want to leave the house to run errands until you were awake.” 

Huh.

She’s not really sure what to make of that. “The laundry,” she says. 

“Done,” Bucky replies easily. “Well. The last load is still in the dryer, but it’s almost done. Everything else is folded and put away.” Strong arms steer her in the direction of the couch until she drops gracelessly down onto it, and then the throw blanket is wrapped around her shoulders, all one-handed. When she looks up at Bucky, she sees that he’s holding a mug, tea bag wound around the handle, and he offers it to her. 

“Peppermint,” he says, “should help with your throat. You were coughing in your sleep.” 

“I need to do the dishes,” Sarah says dumbly. 

“They’re done,” Bucky replies. “And the garbage has been taken out. How are you feeling?” 

“Did the boys get something for lunch?” 

“Sarah,” Bucky says, voice calm but serious. “I can get the boys ready for school. Lunches packed, at the front doors twenty minutes early. You need to rest, you’re sick.” 

There’s a part of her that doesn’t know how to let go, though. Part of her wants to see that everything has been done properly, to do it herself, even though she feels like absolute shit. 

“Cass needed his soccer uniform,” she says. 

“I know,” Bucky says, his tone now slightly amused. “Sarah. Hey.” 

He cups her cheek and forces her to look into his eyes, wide and blue and genuine. “Yeah?” she says. 

See the full post

38 notes - Posted February 17, 2022

#2

things I am currently doing instead of sleeping:

1) writing a fic about Bucky taking Sam’s jeans off using his mouth

2) eating a family sized box of goldfish crackers

it’s not much, but it’s honest work

39 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Sarah/Bucky - Bucky has his first night terror in front of Sarah?

Absolutely!

Night Terrors - Sarah/Bucky, 730 words

She falls asleep warm and content, the feeling of Bucky’s arms wrapped around her waist, his nose buried in the crook of her neck, breath warm against her skin. There’s no better feeling in the world - he fits behind her like a puzzle piece, a warm weight behind her, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm that Sarah matches until she feels her eyes closing, the space between blinks getting shorter and shorter, her mind drifting off into the pleasant haze of dreams.

Waking is less pleasant, though - she’s not sure what startles her at first, too disoriented from being suddenly roused to piece together what’s wrong. It’s still dark outside, the cool night breeze gusting through the open window, moonlight barely illuminating the floor on her side of the bed. It’s not until she pulls herself into a seated position and settles her breathing that she realizes Bucky has turned away from her and curled up into the fetal position, breath laboured and frantic, muscles locked completely taut, arms curled over his head as if he’s defending himself from invisible blows.

“Bucky,” she whispers, reaching out slowly with one hand. She stops, still hovering above his shoulder, suddenly unsure.

I don’t want to hurt you, he’d said three months ago before they shared her bed for the first time. I don’t always sleep very well, and I don’t always know where I am when I wake up.

Startling him awake might not be a great idea, then, but she doesn’t know what to do. It hurts to watch him like this, softly whimpering and shuddering, curling impossibly tighter onto himself, punctuated by quiet pleading in a language she doesn’t understand.

“Bucky,” she says again, louder this time. Slowly, very slowly, she eases herself out of bed and takes a step away, all too aware that he’ll never forgive himself if he lashes out at her upon waking. “Bucky, you’re having a nightmare. Wake up.”

Still no response. His pleading gets a little louder, more desperate, and despite the fact that she doesn’t know what he’s saying, she thinks he switches languages.

“Bucky, please,” Sarah says, loud and clear. “Wake up. You’re in Delacroix. You’re safe. Nobody is going to hurt you.”

“Stop,” Bucky croaks, his hands fisting into his hair, “Stop, please.”

Sarah’s heart breaks at the hoarse sound of his voice. She’s heard him angry before, she’s heard him sad, she’s heard him in all sorts of different moods, but she’s never heard him beg, never heard him plead for mercy like this. It’s one thing to know, factually, that he experienced awful things before they met, but she’s never seen him like this before, terrified, and she wants nothing more than to find a way to comfort him, to pull him out of the hell he’s trapped in.

“Bucky,” Sarah says, loud enough that she’s sure the boys must be awake by now. “Wake. Up.”

For a long moment, she thinks it hasn’t worked. Then his muscles begin to lose their tension and he slumps down with a soft, hurt noise, his hands moving away from his head until he’s got his arms wrapped around his midsection, face buried in the pillow.

“Sarah,” he says, voice hoarse.

“I’m here,” she says, because she doesn’t know what else to say. “I’m here, Bucky, you’re safe.”

Carefully, she crawls back into bed, mindful to keep a few inches of space between them. If he wants her to reach out, he says nothing, so she keeps her hands to herself.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky whispers into the pillow.

“Don’t apologize,” she says. “Can I-”

“Just keep talking,” he says, “please. I… I know where I am, when I can hear you.”

So Sarah does. She talks about everything and nothing, stories from AJ and Cass’ childhoods, from her own, stories that are bright and cheerful. She tells him about growing up in Delacroix, about the family business’ slowly improving profit margin, about her plans for breakfast tomorrow. Sarah talks until the sun starts to rise, the first golden rays of sunlight streaming in through the window, until Bucky’s arms loosen their hold around his midsection and he unfolds his legs, until his breathing finally evens out again and he lets out a soft snore, peaceful and content.

“Goodnight, Bucky,” she murmurs, and then lets herself drift back off to sleep.

43 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mean-hare]

ed diary, p.8

december, 1 i just saw a writing on the wall, it says "yora you are not bad. -paulo"

december, 2 i walked again. i found many unknown markets and one very weird place with houses, it looks empty and dreamlike, dejavu-ed estate. and the weather was fine, cold and dry. yellow plattenbaus and birches. many new sweets and drinks, cheap tea and two clippers with dogs (it was too hard to choose). it was mostly a good day.

december, 3 stayed at house. ate some cookies leftovers, drank lowcal monster ale. watched few films, drawed few dogboys. going to drink milktea and sleep. headache.

december, 4 we had a night conversations with paulo i mean he tried to expain me some sociology basics but he was a lil high an i was just as always. he drawed simplest schemes with funny men and we spend some time just laughing because of these men. then he tried to continue explaining but his next doodle looked like a bunny head (at least for me)and i decided that this is a bunny arsonist and i repeated the bunny arsonist phrase to paulo and something about arson…. i forgot everything he tried to explain, i remember only the bunny… morning was drilled and i splent time in malls again. i bought drinks, chips and kinder surprise with discount of course. i get the toy white bunny. it was the bunny arsonist itself.

december, 5 it was very fuck! i hate countryside even more now! it started up like simple walk through the village part of. it was even ok, i saw some good ruins and some old houses. but then i dont know how but i found myself walking in some wild fields near the highway. absolutely, completely far from my part of city or even from the city itself. i walk some time thru these dust-covered weeds in direction of kobylisy (name of my part of a city) but the highway was neverending and impossible for me to cross the road (of course, fuck, thats obvious! i even thought to cross the road in the stupid way to just run to the other side in random place ) but it was impossible to do without get injured. i found some mall and circled around to find some cross-walks or signs of where to go or idk even what i wanted to found. i didnt even enter the mall because sky becames dark and i thought that its late evening and i shouldnt lose more time (actually it was 5 pm). somebody may think "man, are you stupid? use your phone, look on map!" well, my phone is OLD, it have buttons. it DOESNT open maps in the web, it just cant! guys also temporary gave me their phone but when i tried to open a map it suddenly switch off without a reason. when i tried to turn it on it asks me a password which i didnt remember and card with password written on it was at home. also i didnt have enough money to call the guys. it was fucked up situation, yeah. i also should say that im like that NOT because i lived in ukrainee most of my life. most of ukrainian that under their 40 have modern phones and know how to deal with modern gear. i realy dont know whats wrong with me… finally i went to that unknown city part that looked almost like mine (the same plattenbau). i asked young couple passing by how to get to kobylisy and they said that i have to take the bus to (name of citypart is forgotten) on the nearest stop and then go to a subway and then took a train to kobylisy. i asked abot a way to go there on foot and they said that it will be too long. oh.. near the bus stop i asket girls passing by if buses from this stop going to kobylisy. they said yes. when the passed me i turned around andsaw that they laughted like crazy when thought that i dont look, obvious because of me. maybe im looking like fucked up ragamuffin after fucked up walk? moybe my accent sounds too freaky? maybe its because an "emo" badge attached to my coat (idk why but some people find it funny)? or maybe rhey lied to me????!!!! i asked the same question about bus stop boys passing by. they said yes. they also laughed a little. i took a bus and realized that i DONT know how to PAY. i saw a gear that people use to pay (i guess) but i didnt understand how it works, i never saw it before, i guess i need a working phone, to scan some code or something. and i didnt ask other passengers how to do it because i had enogh of people who laugh at me. so i didnt pay. subway was more easy. i asked some old man in hat if this train goes to kobylisy, he said yes (and didnt laugh after that) and i took that train. i didnt pay again. the trai was almost empty and finally i felt calm and comfort.

december, 6 walked not too far from house, only in known areas. im enough with it. i didnt tell the guys about yesterday. i dont think i need to do it.

december, 7 i walked out a little in the evening to buy sweets and to stare at moon (beautiful, colorful).paulo was sleeping almost all day. he is doing this often. id like to sleep as many time as him but i cant. maybe he thinks that im not depressed because i walk almost every day. beside most of the days i walk because of drills, not because i want to. and i cant sit on the bench all day, its too cold and sad.

december, 8 i walked in more unfamiliar direction but quickly found my way out before getting lost. took some pics of abandoned places.

december, 9 we went to some farther place at night to buy cigarettes. guys wanted to smoke and i was just as company for them. their aim shop was closed so they bought it in random chinese market. they also bought spicy chips and iced coffee. masha drank coffee, me and paulo shared chips. we walked and talked on some almost phylosofical and intelectual themes (but with shit bc paulo like to talk about shit, dirt and all like this). when we were almost home paulo/i/we made masha sad and angry on me/him/us and i didnt understand why shes sad or because of who and what. looks like because of him. he tried to cam her at home. i also tried to but i said something stupid or irrelevant and was ashame (at least i think so, they didnt response) so i better just shut up and make tea

december, 10 everything was hard. i coldnt go in web. i was tired of living with people who behave like i shouldnt be here. i hate to not understand anything and being said "you are old enough, you should do it yourself". i tired of being so lonely, pathetically lonely, very lonely… i was mad again. cryed and screamed that i hate everything and want to die. masha was angry at me because i scream, she always hates when somebody screams. but i just couldnt keep myself quiet. paulo said thad if want to die then ok but i need to move somewhere else to not make dirt in this house bc they dont want to clean it up. i screamed that i tried to kill myself before but i faied. he said that it means that i didnt try hard enought and something like this, i tried to argue with him but it was hard to crying and talk normally. masha said him that sometimes you want to die but not to kill yourself, you want to dissappear. well they also tried to calm me. masha gave me some pill they take to feel better. i stopped to cry but i was not feeling better, maybe even worse, im not sure. they also took me outside, bc paulo decided that i need to go to a forest nearby to scream there but i became unable to scream for some reason. and also i never feel comfortable to scream in the forest (and just to be in the forest). anyway i lied on dirty concrete and didnt wanted to move. when im like this my brain is splitting and go out of my body. theres me, im acting stupid, bad and loud. and theres also second me that observes it and thingking about how its stupid and miserable and ugly it looks, but unable to stop it, like its not me. at night i bought the bus ticket back to ukraine. it was a little impulsive. many of my deeds are very impulsive and rush even if i think about it a lot beforehand

december, 11 i packed my things (including that bull scull that was heavy and took up many space in my bagpack). yesterday i asked masha to lead me to that bus. i knew i cant ask paulo about it, he would say that i should do it myself and its all my problems. today he was just sleeping all day long. she helped me and i grateful her for it. my thoughts about people change often but today i think that she is very good. she said that it will be more empty without me in part of room near the battery. we apologized about things that we did or didnt to each other. i said that i really thought that moving out of ukraine will help, will change someting but i cant face all that by myself and found that i need much more help that they can required. it was the first time i went by long-distance bus all by myself, without parents, siblings or any unfamiliar people. i ate wafers, listened to my music in earphones. i didnt want to run down my phone (there was no charging) but ukrainian drivers have awful habit to put on veeeery awful low-quality ukrainian pop-folk 'music' (its probably the worst kind of ukrainian music). there was not many ppl in bus and one of them was young boy nearby, not beautiful or interensting or something, he was like something calming, i looked at him sometimes and was "he is looking thru the window, ok" or "he is sleeping" and it didnt mean nothing, it was ok. sometimes bus stopped on a gas stations and i was always the first to run to the toilet and back bc i still have some fear of missing out the bus. sometimes it was so beautiful outside, so snowy.

december, 12 i felt that im in ukraine and it was in a bad way. women in bus was arguing, thats awful. i wanted to sleep so bad. at the border i drank an energy drink and all the looong way to the snow and dirt covered station i wanted to pee. at my ukrainian flat i was still bad. arguing neighbors, annoying grandpa, blackouts, everything annoying. i cried in my dark room. the only good here is my toys and my old dog. but everything is still bad and fucked up. i hate to live here in this country. my mom made apple pancakes and i ate too many. i really wanted to eat pancakes

december, 13 i bought some junkfood but ate it not that fast and mindless as always, i think thats a good sign. i also did few posts in few tumblr blogs and watched misfits. i enjoy this show and i like rudi. he is awful guy so i dont really know why i like him i colored my drawings and listened to some music and felt kind of helplesness and something like what baby feels when its all alone in big dark house. it was only for a second. i feel this sometimes, i dont like this feeling.

december, 14 just a stupid day of binge on stupid cheese. mom is in hospital, dad came lately. actually i can purge most of the time but i dont want to, it doesnt really helps i didnt mention a problem with electricity in ukraine. theres a shedule hangs in the hallway that says in which hours of each day of week the light is present or absent. in no light hours most markets are closed. i have a candle and a lamp which charges but its not longlasting. dark hours of evening or night are the worst, very boring and dull. some of times i munch on sweets or other food "as a passtime activity", i can also ruin my eyes by drawing or reading in dim light of candle. at least i have a lot of books.

december, 15 another day in which i woke up at 16, bought and ate many sweets(at least it was less than 2000kcals) i found that my sister annoys me even more than before, just by her existing. also she looks very boring and plain now. she had bright dyed hair, pierced face and more alt clothes just a few month ago

december, 16 breakfast was at 5 pm, it was a pack of cream cookies i bought yesterday. was tasty. network was very bad but i talked with dani. he said that he got a girlfriend since this autumn. i was shocked. but it can explain his rudeness toward me in some times. i still love him. and i dont know who i envy more: him or his girlfriend. im in very bad state now, physically and mentally. i felt nauseous and still feel. and everything became much more annoying. i watched svankmayer's movie "lunacy" and all the time i wanted to hug the main character, jean. he was beautiful and his eyes was tired and scared. perhabs its not good pick for tonight, i felt like i want to vomit and almost bringed back bulimic tendencies. right after that i watched horror about werwolf to not tinking about my life. but now i dont know what to do, i dont feel like sleeping now. i thougt "why he is loving everybody but me" and "why is everybody find their love but me". and then i thought that my thoughts are stupid and my feelings are patethic. and then i thought that i should spend more time with my imaginary friends. and, if possible, watch more movies to distract myself from everything. im feelin bad. and still nauseous

december, 17 im ignoring my stomachache and nausea. and headache and unexplained yearnings make them duller. i eat and sleep and spend time in the same state in the same dirty den room day by day, indifferent and dazed by my indifference.

december, 18 theres tradition to give presents at night of 18-19 of december, especially for little children (its like santa's gifts in west countries). in my childhood i got big fancy bag with toys or something else, beautiful box of sweets, tangerines and always buncg of sticks as a traditional 'gift' for 'bad' kids (like charcoals in the sock in western countries). today my gift was just a paper bag with bag of chips, few 'healthy' bars and bag of nuts.and of course it led me to binge

december, 19 i didnt sleep at all and in my semiconscious mind came an idea to go to a supermarket. mom was glad and said to buy cat food for ronald and dishwashing liquid. i went to first market and bought a big bottl of energy. and hard candies with caffeine. and chips. and cat food but not that kind that mom asks. in second market i bought chips (again? again!) and even bigger bottle of pepsi black and something else just the same in pointless. i forgot now what i bought. i only remember that i couldnt pay with card for a minute bc i put it up to the screen with wrong side. maybe i should follow a new rule: dont go shopping when sleepless

december, 20 i decided to spend money tomorrow bc it brings me fun and i am lack of fun. i couldnt sleep almost all night long bc i drank an energy drink from a bottle i bought yesterday bc it was the nearest liquin here. i slept for maybe 4 hours. and i still find a time for overeating. my lifestyle is really overfucked chaotic.

december, 21 first of all i went to more expensive mall with many cans and bottles (mostly booze but not only). i bought 5 (or 6?) expensive (even with discount) caffeinated drinks (no booze), and also cookies and lion bar bc they were good and cheap. i wonder what the cashier boy thought about me and my purchase. second market was much cheaper and i bought some sweet shit and 2 more cans while forgot about what i really needed to buy. i was looked like a fucked up and drunk while going 'home', my fauxfurcoat was slipped off my shoulder and mind was hazy. i really need more sleep. now its evening, no electricity again, 5 unopened energy drink cans and few untouched green or black tea mugs on table, cookies and bar are also left for tomorrow. im glad i didnt eat all at once even in this semiconscious state!

december, 22 breakfast: energy drinks and cookies. lunch: lion coconut bar and another energy drink. i felt asleep early (at 1 am, thats early for me) but woke up at 5 am and couldnt fall asleep again so i consume my caffeine and hope for nothing. im feeling very bad, like im going to throw up or faint all the time. i guess its too much caffeine. so pity. i have new black teas i want to taste but i guess its not a good idea. im trying to draw ant to write and my caffeine restlessness is a little annoying but some pieces of creations are not that bad.

december, 23 i finished watching 'misfits' and started to watching 'brassic'. i found that i often have the main characters face expression, the what-a-fuck-is one. i ate just a liiiiitle too much bread with cream cheese. the fridge is full of cheese (my dad is great cheeselover) but i craved only for that one creamy kind, the cheapest (and, as i gladly realized lately, the lowest in calories)

december, 24 maybe i really have a problem with my overeating and hopoholism. i think about it often and im sure that therapy wouldnt help. i know why i do what i do. its all about loneliness. and admiration seeking. like im going out, walked the streets like a king, like the icon. people staring at me suspicious, they think im a kook and maybe they envy because theres not so many vivid genderfucking stylish guys in this ex-ussr hole. i walking to the market because i cantt stand to walk aimlessly, i should have a destination. id be rather go on bus to some friends house at the citys edge, id drink their cheap tea and listening their stories and wathing movies or walking with them but i have no friends here and nobody to go to. and im choosing what to buy. im pretending as if its an important decision, like my decision is really makes sense. and then im sitting in my room and eat all that things like a 'normal' man who loves to be big and full, like i have no ed and just enjoy my food and my life, as if its something to be enjoyed!

december, 25 they say its good to write few good things that happened today and to write that everyday. i thought that i have to try it but i failed bc there was no good things and yesterday was also free from good things

december, 26 i dont remember what was on this day but im sure i ruined it. id remember if there was something good, goodnes is rare for me

december, 27 its the end of a day, what more can i say? its a song by manes. love this song. so what to say? fuck everything.

december, 28 i was willing to whine everybody about how shitty this new year will be for me and how sad am i but nobody gives a fuck. people hate to listen to me. i get it, i hate to listen to myself even more. its time to continue my lifelong distraction.

december, 29 i found few places full of new energy drinks and spend so much of money on them. at evening one of the neighbors suddenly started to drill. i ran out and walked the streets. at first i didnt feel too bad about it. i walked the gloomy streets, swinged on swings like an iconic emokid, sang some songs with stupid voice. but then i became thirsty and annoyed by phone's low battery, and very cold. i walked in markets, spent money again on the stupid overpriced things but didnt get any warmer and nothing helped me with thirst.

december, 30 i bringed my little plastic pine tree from the balcony and putted on some plastoc balls on it. now it stands on a floor with many other random items and i dont even pretending that i have a holiday mood. but i wanted to do it.

december, 31 fuck it im leaving the 2022

[adi06lena]

Why can't it just stop?

Natasha Romanoff x autistic!tourettes!fem!reader

Summary: Y/n is having bad day with her tics so Natasha helps her

Warnings: tic, crying, cussing, i don't think there anything else but let me know if im wrong!

Translations: мамы = mamas(i love the nickname dont judge me), (french)Papillon = butterfly

word count: 3k

Y/n is autistic although I'm focusing on tics more

A/N: this is how tic attacks and tics in general are for me but everyone experiences it differently. Also the end is more focused on lovey dovey stuff and natty taking care of Y/n and less about tics

Tic attacks and random little tic I don’t notice - like my eyebrow twitching, flapping hands(that also could be happy stim for me), tapping feet, or shaking my head vigorously etc.- are very annoying a frustrating -yea I usually cry when I have a tic attack because it’s that frustrating- so I thought I’d write about it. 

My tics are usually random unless I’m under stress or doing something I don’t like -like when I wake up lol-. 

My Canadian ass decided  to put a Tim’s(you’ll understand if your Canadian)  in this lol the end is so rushed cuz it was like 3am also not edited

i wrote the last part not masking so you get to see the un masked version of me and how i act.

its so shitty im sorry 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up to light shining through the blinds. I can tell this is going to be a bad day. I already feel a tic attack coming on. I turn to see Nat still sleeping. Hair sprawled out on her pillow. I gently move to lay on my back as to not wake her - it usually helps with my tics-  and bring my heels up to my butt. My feet start to bounce -the beginning of a tic attack-. Nat started to wake. I just bring my hands to my chest and try to breathe. Sometimes I can breathe through them and only tic a little. But I can't just stop a tic fully. I take deep breaths as  my feet tap, my hands only flapping a little this time. That happened a couple times. A wave of relief comes after the tics. 

I can't help the tears that fall down my cheeks. My tics are usually triggered but can also just happen. It's just so frustrating. So tiring. I don't notice Nat awake till she's wiping my tears. She kisses the side of my head.

“Bad day huh?”

All I can do is nod. Nat knows some days are harder than others and she recognizes today is one of those days.

“In bed longer natty?”

“Oh course мамы”

We only layed for another 30 minutes. Natasha brushed my fluffy hair out of my face.

“I think we gotta get up baby”

 I can't help but whine. I just want to stay in bed.

“I know мамы but we gotta eat, and I think maybe a little walk or some training can help” 

She's not wrong moving around does usually help a lot. 

“Hm? How does that sound, baby?”

I can feel my eyebrow tic.

“Your right it would probably help”

“Hold on say that again”

I can't help but giggle

“Say what? That a walk would help?”

“No before that”

I groan and hide my face in my hands. She pulls my hands to see my face.

“That you're right”

“Ahh feels nice”

I slap her on the arm. 

“Ow”

She rubs her arm. I just laugh. 

“ its not my fault i don't hear it a lot”

I look up at her

“Kinda is natty”

Now it's my turn to say ‘ow’ as she slaps my arm. I feel another big tic coming so I stop for a minute and breathe. My head shakes kinda hard. Nat just rubs my side trying to calm me down faster.

“Okay i think it's really time to get up”

I grumble out a small “okay”. Nat gets up first. 

“You wanna change now or after breakfast мамы?”

“Can we after so I can have a shower?”

“Of course baby”

Nat makes her way over to hug me. I bury my head in her chest. She just holds me and rocks side to side. I tic a little in her arms. 

She lets go and grabs my hand and leads me out the door, making our way to the kitchen

“What are we feeling for breakfast?”

She walks over to the fridge, as I move to lean against the counter.

“Can i have some fruit and a little yogurt please”

“of course babygirl”

She grabs some strawberries, kiwis and yogurt, Then makes her way beside me at the counter. I reach to the cupboard at my feet and grab a cutting board and pass it to her. She kisses the side of my head.

“Thank you мамы”

I just hum. I lean my head in my hands and let out a deep sigh. Nat moves to grab a knife and starts cutting the fruit. I grab a couple plastic bowls and start putting a little bit of yogurt in each. Nat put the knife in the sink. 

“Alright done chopping”

I push the bowls over to her. She mumbles a ‘thank you baby’ while I grab some spoons -metal for Nat and plastic for me-. I place the spoons on the table and sit down on the bench waiting for nat.

My feet start tapping again. I lean against the back of the bench and bring my knees to my chest. Ball my hands and bring those to my chest. My head starts to shake vigorously. This is a bad one. I can't help but let out little whines. I can see Nat from the corner of my eye as she quickly walks over. She puts the bowls down and sits beside me. She takes my hands and brings them to her chest. I look over at her.

“Its okay baby, im here”

After some time it finally stops. I bring my feet down to the ground and Nat lets go of my hands. I let out a deep breath. Nat caresses my cheek.

“You okay now love?”

I just nod. I can sometimes go non verbal after bigger tics for a little.

“Are you good to eat? Or do you want me to feed you?”

I shake my head no, lean forward, pick up my spoon and start eating. Nat wraps her hand around my waist and starts to eat.

I finish eating and put my dishes in the sink, I go back and sit next to Nat. I just sit until she's done. She pushes her bowl away and hugs me.

“You wanna shower now baby?”

I nod my head. I let out a surprised yelp when she picked me up to make our way to our shared room. I wrap my arms around her neck and legs around her waist. I rest my head on her chest listening to her heartbeat.

We make it to the room. She sets me down on the edge of the bed. My eyebrow twitches again. I move under her shirt with my hands around her waist. I can feel her laugh. I give a quick peck to her scar and snuggle into her more. She wraps her arms around my shoulders.

“Come on love we need to get clean”

I whine. She pulls her shirt off of me, lifts my chin up so I'm looking into her eyes.

“You can go pick out our clothes and I'll go get the bathroom ready”

“Okay natty”

She lets go and goes to the bathroom. I sigh, then stand up and make my way to the closet. I pick out sweats, t-shirt for Nat and just some joggers and one of nats oversized t-shirt for me. I make my way out of the closet and put the clothes on our bed and make my way to the bathroom. I see Nat got my favourite stuff for showers - i don't like baths because i always look and feel like a prune after- like my strawberry body wash, and my favorite shea butter shampoo and conditioner. She also got the big fluffy towels. God I love this woman. She turns around.

“After this we're gonna go for a little walk then snuggle and nap for the rest of the day”

“Yes please”

“Alright let's get in then baby” 

We both undress. Nat hops in first and turns the water on and checks the temperature. 

“Come on love”

Nat keeps the shower door open and I get in and snuggle into her chest. Natasha grabs  my shampoo and starts to wash my roots. I hum, relaxing at her touch. She quickly washes it out -as to not make my hair dry- and starts on the conditioner. She massages my scalp for a few minutes and then sections it off, twisting it out of the way. 

She starts on my body next. She grabs a washcloth and squirts some body wash on it. 

“You gotta let go of me now мамы”

I let out a deep sigh and detach from nat. My hands start to flap so I ball them up and bring them to my chest. My head starts shaking vigorously. Why can't it just stop? I'm so tired. Nat quickly wraps her arms around me so i don't slip. She rocks us back and forth. My tics seem to be getting worse. Sobs escape me. I just want it to stop.

“Make it stop natty”

I don't see it but tears escape nats eyes. My arms try to flap more but can't as they are pulled against nats chest. She just holds me tighter and I just start cussing. 

“Fuck”

“Bitch”

“Pussy”

“Fuck off”

“Stop!”

After a few more minutes they start to calm down. 

“Your okay baby, its over”

She leaves a quick peck on my forehead and Nat quickly finishes cleaning my body and then moves to wash the conditioner out -with the twists in so they don't tangle- with cold water. 

She turns off the water and leans over grabbing a towel to wrap me in. she scrunches it just above my breasts, She grabs another one and does the same for herself. She opens the shower door and we both get out. She lifts me on the counter. 

“I'll be right back love”

She left another quick peck on my forehead before leaving. I turn around a little and grab some products and a couple ponytails and put them beside me. I lean against the mirror.

Nat comes back fully dressed.

“Alright love lets get you dressed”

I sit up and Nat walks over. She puts my bra and shirt on. Then my panties and joggers. 

“Time for your hair мамы”

My arms start flapping at her words. I don't like having to do my hair.

“I know but I'll be quick. I'm just gonna do some French braids love”

“Okay natty”

Nat grabs a brush from behind me. She takes 1 of the 4 twists and grabs my detangler and starts detangling it. She's gentle and starts from the ends and works her way up. She grabs my leave in and puts that in and brushes it to spread the product. 

She finishes all the sections.

“Alright time to braid then we can go for a walk”

I nod. She starts to weave the pieces picking up new ones forming a braid on the side of my head. She finishes off the braid by tying it off with a ponytail. 

“Next one then your done”

She finished the last braid and tied it off as well. She helped me down. 

“I’m gonna grab the jackets” 

“okay natty I’ll go get shoes” 

She nods and walks over to the closet. I make my way down stairs to the front door. I see shoes -Nat has combat boots and I have air Jordan's- I sit and start putting mine on. Its hard to get the pressure even on each side so I got these cool things that make them slip ons. Nat has her combat boots so I start getting those ready for her to put on. 

She comes down just as I’m finishing. I see she has her coat on already while carrying mine. 

“Come here natty You need your shoes on” 

She chuckles and walks over. She sits and I slip the first one on, doing up the laces -I recently learned how to make a butterfly tie so I do that- and zipping it up. She watches with love in her eyes. I finish the other and stand up.

“Thanks you baby” 

“Did you like the butterfly tie?” 

Nats starts putting on my coat as we talk. My first arm goes in.

“I did my love. Where did you learn that?” 

I put my second hand in.

“I saw a video on it and Thought it was perfect” 

“Why’s that baby?”

She starts zipping up my jacket

“Well the butterfly represents undying love and I’ll love you forever so it fits”

She stands up making sure everything is done up. 

“Aw you’re sweet, thank you babygirl” 

She gives me a gentle kiss

“Can we go for a walk now natty?” 

“We sure can baby. Just wait by the door I need to get the keys and gloves”

“Okay natty” 

We part ways as she makes her way to the kitchen, and me the front door. 

I decide to wait outside. It’s snowing today so I just look at all the snow. I put my hand in my pockets. Nat comes out and locks the door behind her pocketing the keys.

“my love you needed your gloves before you come out here” 

“It’s so pretty natty I couldn’t wait” 

She just takes my hands giggling and starts putting on my gloves. There a dark red -my favourite because they remind me of natty- and does up the Velcro around my wrists. 

“Alright now that my baby’s hands won’t get cold we can go” 

I just giggle. I intertwine our gloved hands. We start our walk. 

“Where are we walking today natty?” 

“I was thinking to Tim Horton's and then back home”

I beam at that.

“Can we get candy cane hot chocolate?”

“Of course baby” 

I can’t help the goofy smile that appears on my face. 

“Yay, my favorite!” 

 Nat chuckles. We don’t talk much. Only look at the trees and the snow. 

As soon as we get close I start to run. 

“Baby stop running you’ll slip!” 

“I’m fine natty, I need to get my hot cocoa!” 

She catches up with me and grabs my waist.

“I know love, we’ll get you your hot cocoa but you gotta walk okay?”

“Okay”

Nat grabs my hand and  we walk up to the entrance. We wait in line. I focus on the TV menu. Nat kisses my temple and rubs my back as social places can be too much for me. 

“You wanna a smile cookie to baby?

“Yes please natty”

We move up the line as people get their orders. They call us to the till. 

“What can i get for you today?”

Before Nat can start i cut her off.

“Can we get 2 medium candy cane hot chocolates double cupped please?”

They put it in the system. My hands clap -happy stim-. 

“Anything else?”

Nat talks this time

“Also 2 smile cookies and that's all”

they puts that in as well.

“Okay and your total comes to 6.98, what are you paying with today ma’ma?”

I pull out my card. Nats lets me as i usually get bad anxiety about having enough money. im to excited to care right now.

“Debit please”

“Okay whenever your ready”

I quickly tap my card.

“Alright you can pick your stuff up just down there when it's ready”

We both walk down to the pick up area. Are things arrive quickly. 

“Here you go babygirl”

Nat hands me my drink and cookie. My eyebrow twitches

“Thank you natty!”

She grabs hers. We start to make our way home while sipping and snacking. It takes a little longer to get home because I get distracted by some snow and want to play for a little while. Nat just watches ‘not wanting to get cold’ - a Russian getting cold? I know crazy-. 

Nat quickly opens the door kicking the snow off her boots and taking off her gloves, I do the same. I set my drink down and take off my jacket. I sit and take off my shoes. I see Nat on the bench taking off her jacket. I scooch over to her feet and start gently under doing her combat boots. Once I'm done I put them up nicely.

Natty comes up behind me and hugs me. I giggle, which is music to nats ears.

“You wanna take a nap now?”

I turn around wrapping my arms around her waist and snuggle into her. I nod my head.

“Alright lets get you to bed then baby”

I move my hands around her neck as she grabs the back of my thighs and wraps my legs around her waist. 

She brings us to our room and sets me down on the bed. I immediately snuggle in the blankets.

“Wow replaced me already”

I just grumble making grabby hands at her. She gets in bed and I snuggle up to her. She starts to rub my back.

“I'm proud of you for today baby”

I look up and peck her lips.

“Thank you natty”

Nat kisses my forehead. I feel my eyelids getting heavy. 

“I love you natty”

“I love you too papillon”

I drift off in nats arms knowing even on my worst days she'll be there. We’re re butterflies and we fly together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meaning of butterfly in love(according to google):The most prevailing is its symbolism for long life. When two butterflies are seen flying together or are following each other, it represents undying love.

thank you for taking the time to read this!!

i hope you enjoyed! have a good morning/evening/night!!!

 ~Adi out <3

[stinkysam]

Satoru Gojō - Burn the elders

Warning : None

Genre : fluff

Synopsis : "I was wondering if I could request a headcannon of Gojo ending up with an s/o who surprise break through his infinity (maybe they were students together?)?" and "M s/o who is a sorcerer and stronger than Gojo and the higher ups dont like him or the fact Gojo is their lover. Would you be able to do something along the lines of how Gojo would deal/feel about the whole thing??" - @xweirdo101x

Reader : gender neutral (you/yours)

A/N : decided to regroup them since both would've ended very similar (and I feared I'd make you wait another month to make 2 instead of 1). Thank you for waiting, sorry it took so long ;;

You never told him, even after you started dating him, that on top of polishing your own technique, you had worked since the beginning on a way to counter his own.

It was just from stubborness at first, refusing to let him be the strongest, not wanting him to have that title so easily. At that time you couldn’t really call yourselves friends due to such strong competitiveness. But you did start bonding as you both grew up through your hatred toward the higher ups. They’re too old and lazy to think differently.

They thought they couldn’t have it worse until they heard the news about you and Satoru dating. You could see in their eyes how much they hated it, yet they said nothing until only one of you was around them. They will say to your boyfriend they do not want him to lose focus toward his work, or get weaker, just because of your dick. They told you the same thing, not forgetting to point at his old cheating tendencies with his previous partners, earning an unmoved expression and a raised middle finger.

Satoru liked this just as much as you, feeling it fuels your need to grow even stronger to do as pleased without fearing them. Teenagers can hold grudges for a long time out of spite and make it worse once adult.

But the day you managed to surprise break through his infinite wall reanimated your childhood competitiveness. You had grabbed his hand to walk with him and it took your boyfriend a few seconds to realize he was feeling you. Not because he was allowing you to. But because you broke the wall.

Trying to keep his composure with his everyday smile, he tried to reset the infinity wall, but no matter how many times he did it, your hand was still definitely touching his. He turned his head, face tense, to be greeted by your cocky smile and a “Now you definitely can’t slip through my fingers.”

Horror flashed through his eyes before being replaced by something else.

He found it oddly exciting, romantic and scary at the same time. He needed to get stronger again to stop you from doing it, but he also needed you to do it again and again.

He hadn’t realized how lonely he actually felt from constantly being shielded from real touch. Even if he could put the wall down to allow skin to skin contact when needed, he missed not being able to control the closeness of his surroundings.

You’re both training hard to stop the other. Wanting to put the wall back up, and down.

The higher ups really disliked hearing this, but used your success to taunt Gojo, saying he really got distracted by some random dick, that he really needed to listen to them, how weak you were making him. Clearly wanting to break the two of you apart to use you better.

If anything it really comforted you in your idea to put them down as soon as you have the opportunity to replace them with better leaders. Despite not talking much about it to Satoru, you both could tell what the other was thinking and planning, working discreetly to make it reality.

Maybe you’ll be able to make it happen with the new young sorcerers ? That Itadori seems promising, you didn’t need to meet him to think that. You simply trusted your boyfriend.

[lizandbo]

hellooo i’ve been reading your work recently n i FELL IN L O V E n i was hoping i could get some hcs on how iida would react to his s/o getting into a fist fight and how he would help them clean up? also if he would help them train a bit more so next time it happens they won’t be that badly hurt like this time again love your work MWAH

OHOHIHO thankyou so very muchhhh

i write like a mf toddler dont even start-

<( ‘-////-)> also It’s a coincidence that I get tenya ask a lot… weird but okXD I mean I kinda don’t get anons and shit anymore and it kinda lost my motivation… request any time idc!!

also ima bit confused about if tenya and y/n get into a fight or they get ina random fight with a person but I’m pretty sure you meant y/n being in a fight with someone else but message me if I didn’t comprehended that correctly<3

Tenya stopping y/n fighting:

- ok, first of all I think this is so funny cuz his face would be beat red when you jus swinging at a person (hopefully for a good reason)

- let’s just say the jackass mad you hella mad

- he met you after accidentally meeting each other in the ua dorm halls

- and you started talking together but the jerk showed up behind you and started to call you names and other bs & drama

- and they started getting all up in your face

- you didnt take that shit so you were started swinging left and right with a right hook punch here and there

- tenya has bulging eyeballs now cuz woah. You? Punching? Damn

- dat hot

- but also he was worried about his s/o cuz 1 he don’t wanna get his lover hurt and 2 he doesnt want random fights going on because he’s the class rep

- and many other reasons but all he thought would help was to stop the fight with all his rules™

- but y’all just kept pushing and pulling hair and shit, just giving everything you got

- he was proud but not proud that your fighting out a little bit of nowhere

- but after a little bit of drama and threats he broke up the fight a bit and starting rambling of how you shouldn’t fight and blah blah blah to the person who basically started the whole scene

- the person got irritated and kinda intimidated by iida so the shithead went off

- and then now iida is making sure that you aren’t hurt, frantic af

- some bruises here and there after a few tumbles

- he looks at you in the face holding your cheek which was warm from the activity that you just had

- “are you ok my love?! Tell me if your hurt and it’s my duty to ensure that your safe, it’s my top priority anyways as the class rep“

- “yes I’m fine but that fucker over there fucking messed me up”

- “I know sweetheart… why don’t you go to-“

- “that hag with a big ass syringe? What help would that do”

- “look I know your fed up but please stop acting foolish and let me take care of you, those scratches is gonna end up being a infection“

- you swallowed your ego and let him do what he wants to do

- but in the inside you knew damn well he was right about the infections and it would be better off you not fist fighting other people

- but that bitch made you feel uncomfortable and kinda anxious, but most of you felt eager to fight back cuz who wouldn’t be pissed off?

- you two made it into his room, ofc he has some stuff to patch you up what kind of person would be if he didn’t have one tbh

- he gestured you to lay on his bed while unrolling some bandages

- “you know y/n, you can fight better when you sneak some of the punches, and block yourself while doing some. Punching faster will get the other person confused and land some more punches in the mean time”

- “well thanks for the advice..”

- ”I’m just saying because I don’t want you to get hurt If I’m not there to heal you afterwards“

- “I know… I love you“

- Tenya’s cheeks burned bright at the sudden ‘I love yous’

- “I love you too my love“

[krabmeat]

☊⏃⋏ ⟟ ⏚⟒ ⟒⋏⎅⟒⍀⋔⏃⋏ ⏃⋏⍜⋏? ⏃⋏⊬⍙⏃⊬⌇ ⋏⍜⍙ ⏁⊑⏃⏁'⌇ ⏃⌰⌰ ⍜⎍⏁ ⍜⎎ ⏁⊑⟒ ⍙⏃⊬. ☌⍜⎅ ⍀⟒⏃⎅⟒⍀ ☌⟒⏁⏁⟟⋏☌ ⍀⟒⎐⟟⎐⟒⎅ ⎍⋏⟒⌖⌿⟒☊⏁⟒⎅⌰⊬ ⏚⊬ ⎅⍀⟒⏃⋔? ⟟⏁'⌇ ⌰⟟☍⟒ - ⏃ ⍀⟒⏃⌰⌰⊬ ⏚⏃⎅⏃⌇⌇ ⏃⋏⏁⏃☌⍜⋏⟟⌇⏁ ☌⍜⎅ ⏁⊑⏃⏁ ☌⟒⏁⌇ ⌿⎍⌰⌰⟒⎅ ⍜⎍⏁ ⍜⎎ ⏁⊑⟒ ⎍⋏⎅⟒⍀⍙⍜⍀⌰⎅, ☊⏃⌰⌰⟟⋏☌ ⎅⍀⟒⏃⋔ ⏁⊑⟒⟟⍀ "⌇⏃⎐⟟⍜⎍⍀" (⏚⎍⏁ ⟟⋏ ⏃ ⋔⍜⍀⟒ ⌇⏃⏁⟟⍀⟟☊⏃⌰ ⍙⏃⊬ ⟟⋏⌇⏁⟒⏃⎅ ⍜⎎ ☌⟒⋏⎍⟟⋏⟒⌰⊬ ⌇⟒⟒⟟⋏☌ ⏁⊑⟒ ⋔⏃⌇☍⟒⎅ ⋔⏃⋏ ⏃⌇ ⏁⊑⟒⟟⍀ ⊑⟒⍀⍜ ☊⏃⎍⌇⟒ ⟟⋏ ⏁⊑⟒ ⌿⏃⌇⏁ ⏁⊑⟒⊬'⎐⟒ ⋔⍜⌇⏁ ⌰⟟☍⟒⌰⊬ ☊⏃⌰⌰⟒⎅ ⟒⎐⟒⍀⊬⍜⋏⟒ ⏁⊑⏃⏁ ⊑⟒⌰⌿⟒⎅ ⏁⊑⟒⋔ ⏁⊑⟒⟟⍀ ⋔⟟☌⊑⏁⊬ ⊑⟒⌰⌿⟒⍀ ⏁⍜ ⏁⊑⟒ ⌿⍜⟟⋏⏁ ⍙⊑⟒⍀⟒ ⏁⊑⟒ ⏁⟟⏁⌰⟒ ⎎⟒⟒⌰⌇ ⍜⎐⟒⍀⎍⌇⟒⎅ ⏃⋏⎅ ⎍⋏⎅⟒⌇⟟⍀⏃⏚⌰⟒). ⏁⊑⟒⊬ ⍀⍜⏃⋔⟒⎅ ⏁⊑⟒ ⌰⏃⋏⎅⌇ ⍜⎎ ⏁⊑⟒ ⌇⋔⌿, ⏚⍀⟟⋏☌⟟⋏☌ ⏁⟒⍀⍀⍜⍀ ⏃⋏⎅ ⊑⟒⌰⌰⎎⟟⍀⟒ ⏃☊⍀⍜⌇⌇ ⏁⊑⟒ ⍜⎐⟒⍀⍙⍜⍀⌰⎅, ⌰⟒⏁⏁⟟⋏☌ ⏁⊑⟒⟟⍀ ☍⟒⌿⏁ ⟟⋏ ⍀⏃☌⟒ ⌇⏁⍀⍜⌰⌰ ⎎⍀⟒⟒. ⏁⊑⟒⊬ ⟒⋏⎅ ⎍⌿ ⟟⋏ ⏁⊑⟒ ⏁⎍⋏⎅⍀⏃, ⏁⊑⟒ ⏚⎍⍀⋏⟟⋏☌ ⎎⌰⏃☍⟒⌇ ⍜⎎ ⏃⌇⊑⟒⌇ ☌⟒⏁⏁⟟⋏☌ ⌰⍜⌇⏁ ⟟⋏ ⏁⊑⟒ ⊑⏃⍀⌇⊑ ⌿⟟⌰⟒⌇ ⍜⎎ ⌇⋏⍜⍙. ⏁⊑⟒⊬ ⊑⏃⌿⌿⟒⋏⟒⎅ ⏁⍜ ⊑⏃⎐⟒ ⌇⏁⎍⋔⏚⌰⟒⎅ ⎍⌿⍜⋏ ⏁⊑⟒ ☊⍜⏁⏁⏃☌⟒⌇ ⍜⎎ ⏁⍙⍜ ⟟⋔⋔⍜⍀⏁⏃⌰ ☌⍜⎅⌇ ⏁⊑⏃⏁ ⏁⊑⟒⊬ ⋔⏃⊬ ⍜⍀ ⋔⏃⊬ ⋏⍜⏁ ⊑⏃⎐⟒ ⎍⌇⟒⎅ ⏁⍜ ☍⋏⍜⍙. ⍙⍜⋏⎅⟒⍀ ⍙⊑⏃⏁'⌰⌰ ⊑⏃⌿⌿⟒⋏? ⟟ ⍙⍜⎍⌰⎅ ⌰⟟☍⟒ ⏁⍜ ⌇⟒⟒ ⊬⍜⎍⍀ ⏁⏃☍⟒ ⟟⋏ ⏁⊑⟟⌇.

- ⟒⋏⎅⟒⍀⋔⏃⋏ ⏃⋏⍜⋏

𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚋𝚎𝚗𝚝

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: philza, techno, Wilbur,(next few only mentioned)Mexican dream, schlatt, dream

𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚜: they/them

𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: fire, death, arson, betrayal mention, being used, reference to drugs, slight cursing

𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜: translation vvvvv

Can i be enderman anon? anyways now that's all out of the way. God reader getting revived unexpectedly by dream? it's like - a really badass antagonist god that gets pulled out of the underworld, calling dream their "saviour" (but in a more satirical way instead of genuinely seeing the masked man as their hero cause in the past they've most likely called everyone that helped them their mighty helper to the point where the title feels overused and undesirable). They roamed the lands of the smp, bringing terror and hellfire across the overworld, letting their kept in rage stroll free. They end up in the tundra, the burning flakes of ashes getting lost in the harsh piles of snow. They happened to have stumbled upon the cottages of two immortal gods that they may or may not have used to know. Wonder what'll happen? i would like to see your take in this.

 - enderman anon

AHHH IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I DONT KNOW IF YOULL EVEN READ THIS STILL BUT TY FOR THE REQUEST IT ISNT THE BEST QUALITY IM SORRY :[[[

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You almost don't recognize the sensation of grass against your calloused and rough hands. You were in the void playing solitaire with Schlatt and Mexican Dream, and the next thing you knew you were suddenly pulled harshly by the back of your collar, falling on your spine. The looming mask of Dream is what stood above you, but he looked different. Longer hair, smelly, wearing a stained lime green jumpsuit with ‘0001' sewn into it and covered in cuts, scars and bruises. But before you could even question why Dream was suddenly there, he stepped back into the void, the void slowly surrounding and consuming him the further he went backwards. His now bony hand is still tightly gripped onto the back of your shirt, so while struggling your body is also enveloped in darkness. All it took was one blink and there you were on a patch of grass, staring at the pale blue sky.

"Huh."

Was all that came out of your mouth. You were still shocked at the turn of events that just happened, but no longer grounded. A running river nearby stunned your senses. How long had you been dead? It felt like years, but when you look around at the familiar forest you died in, not much had changed except for a couple newly planted saplings here and there. The swirling ashes you remembered before you died had all settled and compressed into the soil.

The river showed a strange reflection of yourself- your features have clearly sunken into your skull and there's a streak of white hair coming from your scalp along with words in fancy gold letters on your arm reading,

"May thy woes and hurt of the past no longer eradicate the upwards of this lost souls future. Allow thine to be praised by Ender themselves and be granted another chance at mortality."

Scrubbing or picking at your arm did nothing, so onwards you went walking along the forest to what you remember being a bustling "community".

Each mound of dirt you saw only brought memories of your death, of the place and people who sought to treat you like you were disposable. And now that you’re alive, you hate that they technically ended up being right. Your death; alone in a forest. Running away from the unexpected attacker, ashamed and too prideful to die in the prying eyes of your enemies. It fills you with rage, all the lives taken by your hands and for what? You weren’t overreacting, you knew that for sure. And before you knew it, you stole some fresh flint and steel from a random chest and got to work. 

You had always wanted to touch the fires you set. The soothing feeling you got from watching wood burn to char and ashes satisfied you. And it made it all the more euphoric to know it was trees of your manipulator's land. Running across the land, with flames as far as you could see when you looked behind you. The heat swirled around your neck and went into your nose, but the feeling was muscle memory at that point. You were still riding your high when a voice reached out to you, luckily when you were finally calm.

"What- Y/n? Hold on, is that really you Y/n..?"

You spin on your heels to the familiar manipulative British voice of a person you haven't seen in a long time. 

"Wilbur?! Man, I haven't seen another person's face other than those two addicts in a while- you look different." 

His eyes much like yours are sunken deep into his skull, purple-pink bags under his eyes and dull skin. Wilburs shocked lips fade into an opened mouth smile when he walks up to you with his hands momentarily confused on what they should do. Eventually, his right hand settles on clasping your left shoulder, giving it a friendly squeeze.

“Y/n it is so good to see you! You look quite different yourself, wouldn’t you think-? Oh, look! We’re matching!”

The grey streak in your hair seems to make another appearance when Wilbur briefly smacks it with his middle and pointer finger. 

“Ay, it’s nice to see you too Wil, but back up for a second alright? I've got something to ask you by the way…”

Wilburs head peaks in interest, urging you to go on.

“I’m guessing that little streak in your hair wasn’t a fashion choice- and if it was it’s a bit strange- but how’d you get it? You died when you blew up L’manburg! I mean c'mon, people don’t just, well…REVIVE!”

He starts to walk. You aren’t quite sure where, but stumbling along with Wilbur while his arm is draped lazily atop your shoulders seems to suffice. 

“Ahh Y/n, you’d be surprised. The most WONDERFUL thing happened, actually! Years and years in my hell of a train station; do you know who was at the subway door when it finally opened, Y/n? Dream!”

“Wh- Dream?!”

Appalled, you try to stop in your tracks but fail when wilburs arm is still pushing forward. His storytelling voice dies down to curiosity and excitement.

“Wait, did he save you too? He did, didn’t he? Oh, this is wonderful!”

Wilbur emits eagerism and you suddenly realize what you could do with his desperacy to be socially accepted. Putting on the most exaggerated and animated voice, you speak. 

“Oh my god yeah! Gosh, that Dream guy is my hero! Thanks to him, I get to have another chance at living again, and isn’t that just…swell.”

In all honesty you didn’t really try hard to sound sincere but by the look of Wilbur, it seemed to work just fine. 

“Right?! I’ve been meaning to visit him in the prison if you’d like to tag along with me the day I go? I’m sure he’d love to see you, since he revived you and all.”

Oh, you were sure Dream wanted to see you. He wants a boon- a trade. Why else would he revive two of the most historically significant people on the server if not to make some sort of deal with them? Sure, Wilbur is as gullible and carefree as ever but you at least still had scraps of mental stability and level-headedness that made you all the more a force to be reckoned with. Not to mention Wilbur doesn’t know that Dream killed you, but telling him that now would blow your act. You decide to keep your thoughts to yourself.

“Yeahh, sure! I’d love to go, just tell me when.”

And that’s the end of that conversation. The two of you walk to wherever Wilbur is going. It honestly surprised you how he couldn’t see through your apathy. From what you remembered, he was keen on being wise about people and their intentions but you guess years and years in hell do things to a person.

Somehow, you’re stuck in your mind for long enough that only now do you feel the sharp winter air making the hairs on your arms and legs stand straight up. 

“Wait, snow?”

The tundra was a drastic contrast to the void you were once in with schlatt and Mexican Dream. Instead of black as far as you could see, it was a blinding powdery white. 

‘Mexican Dream would’ve liked it here, probably would have tried to snort the snow like coke.’

You weren’t built for the snow, though. Hell- you didn’t even have a memory of anyone living in a tundra when you were alive! Why was Wilbur even in the tundra? You didn’t have the energy to ask, still feeling brittle and tired, back aching from laying on the dry dirt longer than expected earlier. 

“Yeah, just figured I’d show you around! Plus I already need to grab a couple things from an ender chest and this was the closest by. I’m a very busy man, after all.”

But why were there so many footprints in the snow? As far as you knew, Wilbur was the only one who lived out in the tundra- and he didn’t seem like the active type at all. There were strange shapes as well, large hooved footprints. However, all thinking comes to a halt at the same time Wilbur does.

“We’re here! You might see some familiar faces cause I live with people.”

Well, that answers the footsteps as well as the tall red-caped piglin hybrid giving leftover bones and raw meat to a polar bear.

“TECHNO! TECHNO, HEY!”

He tenses up for a second, you could tell he wanted to be left alone but that didn’t really bother Wilbur. But you recognize him. The name and the apparel- that guy is Technoblade. The same Technoblade who stood by your side while the two of you blew L’manburg up for the last time, and now the Technoblade who resides in a cottage shrouded in snow.

“Technoblade?!”

Hearing your voice being carried by the crisp winter air, he turns around immediately to see you and Wilbur a few feet away. Techno stood there dumbfounded, but he didn’t know why. He wasn’t particularly joyed or ecstatic to see you, but he was at the very least happy to see an old ally back. 

“Y/n? Oh my god, now we’ve got TWO of you? We don’t have room for another one, alright?”

For some it might be hard to see the meaning behind his words. Luckily you’ve talked to him enough to where you can tell he’s being playful.

“Don’t worry, I’ll just build directly on top of your house. Besides, who WOULDN'T want to be near me 24-7?”

“Me-“

“Oh f*ck off.”

You would’ve thought that that was Wilbur due to the similar accent, but there was something off. The slight gruffness and age, yet still succeeding in sounding mellow.

“Phil! How’s my favorite old bird doing?”

He gives you a face. Not a happy one like you expected, rather a face that says ‘really?’ Probably because of the old comment. The two of you briefly hug, Phil’s tattered wings stretching out slightly.

“I’m doing alright, are you okay? Here, would you like to come in? It’s pretty cold outside, you probably haven’t seen snow in a couple years.”

He wasn’t wrong after all. You were freezing your toes off and were itching for lemon tea. The kind Phil used to make when he, Technoblade and Dream discussed plans on destroying L’manburg. Ah, the good ol days…

“Of course! We’ve got a lot to talk about- you still have that old chess board?”

“Yes, but first you have some explaining to do about the fire over in that tree, Y/n. You just got back and you’re already burning down forests?!”

“Did someone say fire?”

Techno has an eager stride in his step once he also looks back to see the raging lights of orange and red in the nearby forest.

“Don’t worry Phil! It’s just- ahh, a controlled burn..?”

Your tone of voice is unsure when a black crow shoots down from the sky into the snow in front of you. It’s left wing is charred and has smoke dancing from the burn. Philza looks at you with a stern glare.

“Oh my f*cking god…that’s it! We’re all going inside now, you too Techno. I don’t want you and Y/n going on a rampage.”