#and reading the 1/3rd of my books i own but have never read

[bookwyrminspiration]

Quill, I have book recommendations for you! I have read all of these books and can guarantee that they are at least somewhat enjoyable! Also, if you want to learn more about the books, let me know!

Tarnished are the Stars by Rosie Thor: Sci-Fi novel featuring the son of what is essentially the chief of the law enforcement, a spy for the queen, and an illegal medic. Very interesting book to read, and the romance, while not the focus, is very interesting.

In the Role of Brie Hutchens: Okay, so middle schooler with an obsession with soap operas that has to lie to her religious mother about being awarded a very high honor after being caught looking at some inappropriate pictures of her favorite actress. It’s a lovely queer novel featuring monologues and discovery. The other books by the author are also very good!

Felix Yz: About a kid who fused with a 4th dimensional being when he was 3, and what life is like years later. He has a minor romantic side plot with his crush on his classmate, but not the focus. Also, the author has another book about a trans girl if you are interested!

The other boy: doesn’t go with the stereotype of a trans guy hating sports and instead has the main character be a part of the sports team. After he’s outed he has to deal with the consequences of that. Very good book.

I have more but I don’t want to overwhelm you! If you want anymore book recommendations, let me know!

-⚙️

!! thank you very much!! I love getting suggestions and learning about other books, especially through the lens of someone's whose read and enjoyed it. Adds a bit of excitement and sentiment to it

Out of these four, the two that are catching my interest more than the others are Tarnished are the Stars (because I have an affinity for fantasy/sci-fi) and Felix Yz (once again, for the sci-fi). However! I do like to peruse through queer media of other genres, even though sports and soap opera related things really aren't my area. So perhaps I'll end up reading those as well.

I say this every time but its still true: I have a lot of books to read through so I don't know when I'll get to these, but I'll try my best to check them out!

Also I'm always open to book suggestions, though I can't promise to read every single one I get. So if you'd ever like to send more (or anyone else would, preferably with a summary), you're more than welcome to do so :)

[atlabeth]

LORD GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO FINISH THIS TEN PAGE ESSAY TONIGHT

[f1girliefics]

To Have It All

Max Verstappen x Reader

Summary: Sometimes even the most fulfilling lives have something missing. 

Max Verstappen, three times World Champion, should have it all.

Many thought he did.

He was successful in his career, he was rich and yet, he was missing something.

He would be lying if he said he didn't know what that something was.

You.

He was missing you.

Being established in your own career, you once dated Max.

It had been a couple years.

You two broke up due to an argument on both of your part. Max was never around when you needed him and he argued that it was his career. 

It was a stupid argument. 

Definitely not something you would split up with someone over. 

Max has been missing you ever since. 

It was his biggest mistake to let you go and he knew it back then, he knows it now.

But ever since you two broke up, you never went to any races. He tried to find you, apologize and make up but you avoided him, and he didn't blame you for it.

The day you two broke up, he messed up in more than one.

He crashed due to a careless mistake with Hamilton and he put out his frustration on you. 

He shouldn't have. He had no right to do so.

But it wasn't the first time he blamed you for his mistakes on the track.

Today, as he stood on the podium yet again, on the brink of becoming a 3rd time World Champion, listening to his anthem, he felt empty.

He thought winning was everything, it was all his father ever told him.

And he used to believe it, but he wasn't so sure anymore.

He looked at the sea of people, some even booing at him. He felt their hate, yet he still watched them, hoping to see you. 

But you weren't there.

So, once he had his phone back in his hands, he pulled up your Instagram, to his surprise you didn't block him, he looked at your newest shared post, oh how he missed you.

Then, before he knew it was another race day.

He is starting from P1, no surprises there. 

He looked at your Insta again and saw a picture of the Paddock. 

His heart raced as his stomach dropped.

He was both nervous and excited. 

He still had time, according to the picture, you were close to the RedBull VIP.

So, he headed there.

Many people turned their heads as he passed them.

Soon, he saw Christian with his wife Geri as she was talking with you.

Christian soon left giving a small nod to Max.

You looked at Max and he saw you letting out a long sigh.

You looked just as nervous as he did, but you did have the balls to at least approach him first.

"Hi Max," 

"Nice to see you." his voice did not match his nervousness thankfully. 

But he also knew that you could read him like an open book. You would know his true feelings even before he did. 

“Can we talk?” Both of you said at the same time. You smiled and let him lead you to a secluded room where you could talk. 

“I posted the picture hoping you would see it. I guess it worked.”

“You set a trap?”

“And you walked into it.” You shrugged your shoulders as he looked at you dumbfounded. “Congratulations on your many wins this season. You deserve it.”

“It means nothing.”

“That is not true. Your fans are proud of you. And so am I.”

“Are you no longer my fan?” He almost sounded desperate. 

“Number 1. Forever.”

“I’m sorry. I regret letting you go ever since. I am a dumbass. I took my anger out on you. If it means something, I still love you.”  he held his breath, afraid to move. He knew the next couple of minutes would decide his happiness. He watched as you took a deep breath before you smiled and looked into his eyes.

"It means everything." Max let out a sigh he wasn’t even aware he was holding. 

You were quick to rush into his arms and he hugged you close. 

He noted how you changed your perfume. 

He liked it. 

He had you back now. And he knew, at the end of the day when he won, you would be there to kiss him and cheer for him. 

.

[lokisivy]

Hi! Im a big fan of your work and I saw you were taking requests :) I had a smut fic idea in mind with young (before paralysis) Professor Charles Xavier x fem!student reader. Maybe you and Charles have had some flirty/sexual tension for the longest time until one night when everyone is in bed in their dorms, he reads your mind and notices that you are still awake, touching yourself and having just obscene thoughts of him till he comes into your room and takes matters into his own hands and the rest just be pure smut lmao 👀👀👀 keep up the good work!!

First of all, thank you soooo much for u liking my work. Second of all, it took me like 3 times to process what you requested. I'm ovulating rn, so I'm just so stunned.

Warnings: age gap, mind reading, slight breeding kink, reader is above 18, cursing. use of nicknames, p in v, unprotected sex, daddy kink, slight size kink. let me know if i missed anything

READERS POV

I'm a good student, I focus in class, get good grades, and am always polite to my professors. but there is this one class where I can't seem to focus no matter how hard I try.

Professor Xavier's class like right now I'm sitting in today's class what is the topic? DNA mutation blah blah blah.

he was looking and me oh his eyes were so blue like the ocean I could drown in them- Fuck he can read my mind.

GENATICS! FLOWERS! this isn't working he is smirking he knows what I'm thinking of. I bite my lips hard, trying to think of something else. His arms in that dress shirt sleeves rolled up his hands on my throat- FUCK think of something dark.

"Y/N read page 269 about Genetic mutations" the professor announced "Ahh-" fuck I didn't even have my book open shit. I used my telekinesis to open the page but it didn't I was fumbling for the page until Professor Xavier came behind me and opened the page for me.

"next time focus in class and refrain from having dirty thoughts about me," he whispers in my ears his sharp voice making me sudden goose bumps arise.

"Sorry professor. I promise that it won't happen again" I flirt looking up through my lashes and giving an innocent look.

he leans down to give me back my book "Good Girl."

With my powers, it was gonna be impossible for me to keep him out of my thoughts I was basically a magnet for him my mind like an open book for him. It doesn't matter because no matter what he was my teacher and nothing could happen between us even though I'd sell my soul to the devil for us to touch. and our age gap people would think he was a predator but at this point, I think I am the predator with the unholy thoughts I'm getting.

1:39 Am my clock read I couldn't sleep my interaction with Professor Xavier kept replaying 'having dirty thoughts about me in class'

'good girl' my hands snuck past my nightgown rubbing circles on my clit. imagining Charles bending me down the desk fucking me into oblivion 'Such a naughty girl only focusing on my cock and not the class' I imagined his rough thick accent. I pushed one finger inside me feeling the warmth it was relieving the pressure but not enough I needed more I needed him in every way possible.

3rd pov

You and Charles had always flirted with each other during office hours it was obvious in the being you were attracted to him he was very good-looking and muscular made women weak in the knee and because he could read any person's mind it made it easier for him to know when to flirt back he knew when you were sad or feeling under the weather but when the rumours started to spread around the acted tough with you in class you knew it was a show and it kept all gossip down it not like you were very young you came here after finishing high school to learn about your abilities and how to control them but you were still a student but something Charles never did was crossing the line until today he was awake trying to study a new students abilities. He wondered if you were awake and he was met but dirty thoughts that made his cock burst.

a growl came out of his throat "fuck me!" he adjusted his pants the thought of you touching yourself while thinking of him was gonna make him burst this second he started to palm his cock but could take anymore when your moans grew louder coming close to your orgasm.

Fuck it he thought and walked to your dorm room absolutely angry about the way you made him feel hands running through his hair he was gonna punish you for every time you made him hard, for every time your mischievous ass made him think about you.

He reached your room door knocking lightly not waking anyone and talked to you through your thoughts 'Open this door now!' He interrupted your fantasies making you rise in panic

Readers POV

Fuck Fuck FUCK! How did he read my mind it was 1 am everyone is asleep. I panic opening the door panting from how fast I got up.

"hey proff how you doing, bro?" I opened the door trying to act casual.

"Are you messing with me right now." It was more rhetorical than a question. He slammed the door, pining me against it.

"I-"

"What you thought you could be whore and touch yourself thinking about me and get away with it." He was frustrated both sexually and mentally "and why were you listening to my thoughts anyway I should be able to think what I want without having to worry about you getting into my head." I rolled my eyes. A part of me liked the thrill, but sometimes it was nice to have my thoughts to myself.

"You can block me out but you don't."

"It's exuasting. what you want me to masterbate and think about you and block you out." I sigh

"You don't know how hard it is for me to contain myself from letting all these thoughts of yours come true right now." He leans closer, his body towering in front of me.

Closer.

And Closer.

our lips so close but yet so far.

Till there was nothing but a fine line between our lips.

"Then make them come true." I barely got the words out.

"This is wrong." He voice became deeper

"I saved your life in Cuba professor." I whispered

"Fuck it." He said kissing me knocking the air out of my lungs, his hand come to cup my face our his toung fighting with mine. moving us towards the bed his hands roaming through my my silk PJs unbouting the buttons.

"Charles!" i moaned when his lips contact with my neck marking me plaming and squeezing my breasts, "please" I didn't know what I was pleading for but I needed the relief with the ache that was growing I was so wet aching for him to touch me.

" What darling, what do you want me to do?" he smirked, he knew what I wanted he could read my mind "I- I want you to touch me." I barely whispered my voice practricly unaudioble,"Louder darling?" he disaproved "I want you to fuck me charles like the way I was thinking about when I was touching me self on here." I run my hands through the sheets of the bed.

"Fuck my little whore wants me to fuck her," he growls, he grabs my neck and slams me down the bed causing a moan to leave me. His knee separated my legs from closing. he slid off the top I had on letting my breasts hit the cold air causing my nipples to harden. his thumb ran on my nipples rubbing and pinching. "Charles Please" I beg.

"Have I taught you nothing?" he kissed my chest slowly down to my breasts "Patience is how you achieve everything perfectly. "

"Charles Xavier if you don't fuck me right now I'll throw you against the wall." pull him by his shirt collar kissing him

"I may teach you science, but I think I need to teach you good manners." I rolled my eyes, ripping off his shirt. I stopped to take a moment to take in the sight of his toned muscles, running my fingers through his abs in awe. something inside him snapped at the way I looked at him. he immediately took down my shorts and unbuckled his pants.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked me,"Yes ever since Cuba Charles," I assured me, but something told me he was reading my mind to check if I had any doubts. "Good. Because the moment I start, I won't stop"

"Start first then we can speak about stopping because all I'm hearing is yap yap no acti--" I was interrupted by his fingers entering me all three of them. making me moan very loudly.

"Shh baby your classmates will hear you." he groans at the sight. "S-sorry."

his hands worked magic, and the rhythm was steady, hitting all the good points, building up the fire in my stomach fire that might explode any moment "Charles I'm so close." I whimpered at the loss of contact "Too bad your only gonna cum on my cock tonight" I looked down at his length it was big and thick and precum leaked out his hardness he positioned my left leg on his shoulder positioning himself and entering me at a slow excruciating pace stretching me into half.

"Fuck your so big." now I understood why he was taking it too slow his cock was gigantic that's why he walked around so confidently he is packing.

"Fuck you're tight." he groans the burn started to fade into pleasure "Charles please" probably begged for the millionth time tonight he was killing me. his pace started to grow faster "You are taking me so well darling." he praised me sending it to my pussy clenching on him tighter."Fuck Y/N!" he growls

"Charles faster" he complied going at an unforgivable pace the angle he fucked me in was make me feel all of his length he keeps hitting that spot that was about to explode any second now. my moaning became louder and harder to control probably making someone from outside hear us "Be quiet sunshine" he told me in between his rough thrusts he pinched my nipples lightly causing an overly loud moaning to come out he silenced me with a kiss and replaced his lips with his hand he gave me a warning look then removed his hands. my fingers running through his hair tugging on it tiny moans slipping out of him sending me over the edge with bliss and euphoria washing over me seeing starts in the back of my eyes. his cock twitching "Yes give me all your cum Daddy." I moaned my back arching scratches down his back. his hot warm cum filling my walls making me moan with pleasure it felt right. Charles put my legs down making me turn on my side, as I was about to sleep he grabbed my jaw. "Daddy is not done with you yet sunshine" he teases me.

"let's get you cleaned up sweetheart." he carried me to the bathroom

[nevisiity]

FAMA (408)

Fama Definition: Fama(408) means to be popular or well known, having reputation FAME!!! Personal interpretations of Fama in the houses below!! Please let me know if you relate or care to share anything else! Thx for reading <3 post 1/4 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆FAMA IN 1ST HOUSE. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ The 1st house is LITERALLY the house of your physical body, how you look, how you are seen by the general public, self image surface level identity. Approach to life, this can also represent early childhood. So, In my own personal interp of this sign I have concluded that girl… YOU ARE THE MAIN CHARACTER. Like BIG star energy, You might have been popular in childhood, if not then you have no problem getting attention. It may come to you naturally, even if you don’t want it…you have it.. And here they come “I never get attention 🥺” PUT. YOURSELF. OUT. THERE. Cause you got it! Don’t be afraid to flaunt it ;) This also reads to me as a natural star, actors, musicians, artists even just big personalities. 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆FAMA IN 2ND HOUSE. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ The 2nd house relates to personal finances, money, mula, green. It also reminds me of the earth…”natural energy” mother nature. Anything green. The second house also contains personal possessions(jewels, cars, houses, etc) and emotions. Fama in the second house gives off “that girl”(IFYKYK) vibes. Natural earthy beauty. Maybe you prefer less makeup and may get complimented more because of that. But a way you can achieve fame is through hard work, getting money and showing off jewels. Showing off cars. Flaunting your wealth may not be a bad thing after all…Kind of Glamorous if you ask me. If I had this placement I would adorn myself in jewels…try a more natural style, you are beautiful just the way you are…enjoy getting that attention.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆FAMA IN 3RD HOUSE. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ The 3rd house is COMMUNICATION. Writing, speaking, conversing, editing, and translation. Perhaps you are excellent at communicating, Your voice is most likely really nice. Fama here to me indicates a good songwriter…maybe even a poet. You could probably write a nice script as well. Fluency in languages. You can get famous for these skills. Maybe you can even sing! Wouldn’t  surprise me :) Go on and let your voice shine then! 🌟Let your writing speak…you never know who could be listening! If you have this placement and want to write a book..write and publish poetry, music, any of that. Do everyone a favor and WRITE IT or SPEAK IT!! Your words are your superpower. 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆FAMA IN 4TH HOUSE. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ The 4th house represents family, roots, old age but also physical structures, our homes (houses, real estate). Fama in the 4th house could mean your whole family is popular or well known where you live, especially if it's in a smaller place. Maybe some of you could get famous from where you come from… how you grew up, childhood, etc. This could also mean a family business that could get you fame or recognition. Reminds me of Tabitha Brown and her daughter (Tik Tok). Or you could get famous later in life. Maybe you could create a future of fame for your family. Maybe you could be a famous interior designer as well. 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆FAMA IN 5TH HOUSE. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ The 5th house rules creativity,(The house of PLEASURE)  hobbies. something you enjoy doing! This can be anything from painting, music, sketching, tattooing, crocheting, any-damn-thing!!  Your hobbies are where you shine. If it puts a smile on your face and a fire in your belly DO IT!! And post it on social media! I didn’t want to mention zodiac signs yet but hun…this is the house of leo…and what is leo known for?? BEING SEEN!!The sun shines bright and you can’t miss it…The attention-getter of all the signs. Just remember to post it online! Especially if you are passionate about it. This is really the all encompassing house. Fama SHINES here. It takes a little work, but not too much..enjoy what  you are doing first though. To add, if you enjoy working with kids, want to start a business having to do with children you are sure to succeed. You could really just do your own thing and shine though.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆FAMA IN 6TH HOUSE. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆The 6th house represents health, wellness, daily routines and odd jobs. Now FAMA in the 6th house reads to me as a health influencer, Your daily routine will help you shine. Maybe you pretend to have a youtube channel in the mirror, showing your routine. Whether that be skincare, a day in my life, makeup tutorial. Maybe some of you are gym-bros or are really into fitness, maybe you will have a famous social media based on fitness, or healthier meals. You may even be into clean beauty, no real leather, vegan, etc. Your health is your strong suit and maybe people even ask you what they can do to be healthier. Maybe you are more on the fit side and people inquire about this too. You could be really well known personal trainer! Or chef 🧑‍🍳 Reminds me of famous chefs Gordon ramsey and Raechel Ray. 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆FAMA IN 7TH HOUSE.. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ The 7th house represents partnerships, beauty, fairness, legalities and even enemies!! If you have FAMA here, You could be a very famous model one day!! Probably very beautiful, whether that's unique or conventional. Besides physical beauty, I feel this also relates to art. I feel we have some amazing artists here. You could also be a great judge, family or relationship type therapist. Just anything ruling beauty and fairness. Maybe you are even a muse for some people. They want to paint you, write about you, etc…this can bring you fame. Famous fashion designer as well, beauty influencer, jewelry maker, etc! 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆FAMA IN 8TH HOUSE. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ The 8th house represents taboos, death, debt, other people's resources, sex. I read that it can also rule over legacies and wills! FAMA in the 8th house means you would get very famous doing astrology, tarot, spiritual guidance. Some of you may even be witches and could get popular doing that. Some of you may be into sex work….could get very famous that way! Whether that's stripping, only fans, DOMINATRIX. May be a good accountant or personal financer (idk what the profession would be called sorry).  Some good tarot accounts to look into if you’re interested would be (kino tarot, firefly tarot, lexi the leo, The gem goddess) You remind me of them a bit…

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆FAMA IN 9TH HOUSE. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆The 9th house rules over philosophy, religion, higher education, I also feel good careers for this asteroid in 9th are psychics, export/import business. Just a search for the truth. You could be a very popular philosopher, this reminds me of all the greek philosophers (socrates, plato, apollodorus of athens, aristotle) Religion! You could get very famous being some type of pastor or spiritual guru. Maybe a very famous, sought after teacher. You could be a travel influencer. Love to learn about different cultures and could get very famous doing that. Very smart people here and that is your starshine. 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆FAMA IN 10TH HOUSE. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ The 10th house is at the peak of your birth chart, it rules over professional career image, Public image, business relations and career achievements. I feel you could be a very famous business man/woman. You could even own a company one day!! Giving boss energy. The 10th house also rules over positions of power/authority. FAMA here could mean you even start your own business from square 1! From nothing! CEO’s with this placement. Directors, photographers, superintendent, managers. ALL things BOSS. Maybe even popular overseas due to business relations, lavish lifestyle because of riches here. Could be very popular for work ethic. 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆FAMA IN 11TH HOUSE. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ The 11th house rules over The friendship of the collective, social media, friendships and groups, and HOPE. as well as idealism. FAMA in this house can indicate big social media fame. You just shine on social media. Like I said with the first house. PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. Giving alien vibes. Reminds me of the theme of Beyonce's latest “renaissance”. Very modern, maybe even futuristic, Reminds me of fit checks I see on my TL and they have thousands of views. Maybe you yourself represent things people can’t understand, maybe with the way you present yourself. You def keep up on all the trends and memes. Maybe you could get very famous with a commentary type channel, expressing your opinions especially on pop culture. 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆FAMA IN 12TH HOUSE. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ The 12th house rules over dreams, rest, BIG SPIRITUALITY, traumas, addictions, all that is below the surface.  FAMA here I think is very beneficial for people who want to speak about things that happened to them. Best spiritual gurus, psychics. You could CHANGE LIVES with this FAMA placement.Reminds me of FKA twigs song “Cellophane”. Most of you here could write a novel about things that happened to you. Or how you connect with god(s), spirit, whatever you believe in. You are magical, like a crystal ball.  Also may be gifted with clairaudience, channeling, mediumship, etc. Maybe you could see dead people/talk with them. You are stardust ☄️

Thank you for reading!! FAMA in the signs is next. Stay tuned <3

[leighsartworks216]

Hello! I have ideas for Astarion and a druid Tav. Atv can shapeshift, and Astarion likes to sit in/enjoy the sun. Once they're close enough, Tav asks if they can use him as a basking perch. So sometimes Astarion will have a dog or cat in his lap, sometimes a snake around his shoulders, or even once a bird nesting in his hair (Tav was scouting and got too tired to shift back).

For some angst Tav could be injured while in animal form or stuck in one by magic and so Astarion takes them back to camp and keeps Tav close until they recover and can turn back.

It is almost 1:30am haha I need to go to bed

I also wrote this in 3rd person pov for no reason other than I felt it worked a little better

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 693

Main Masterlist

First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist - Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

Soft purrs fill the morning air. The sun is warm, and where Astarion sits on his rug is the first spot her rays touch every morning. And every morning, he cherishes the time he had left within it.

One hand runs idly along soft fur, while the other holds open a book. Every now and then, his pets slow down as the story becomes interesting, but he makes up for it with a gentle scratch behind the ears.

This was also part of his morning routine. Several weeks ago, the intrepid leader of their group began joining him on his rug in the morning. They asked first, of course, and they never bothered him. It was rather nice, actually. They’d read their own book or prepare herbs or even braid together a flower crown.

A week later, they had taken to shifting into an animal form and stretching out within the beams. They usually fell asleep like that. And once again, he didn’t mind. Their feline purrs were never grating or overwhelming, and even as a dog they had the decency not to drool on his stuff. The occasional snake or bird would warm themselves on a rock or perch nearby with their beak tucked under their wing. It was always a little fun to guess which animal they’d turn into each day.

And then they asked if they could lay in his lap. He’d scrunched his face up at the idea, asking why his lap was suddenly better than the rug. They’d just claimed it was hard to get comfortable lately, but they didn’t push to ask again. That day, they’d curled up in Karlach’s lap. They couldn’t sleep, because the tiefling was so busy gushing over how soft and adorable they were, and Astarion couldn’t focus on his embroidery because he’d become so used to their presence - Karlach’s noise level aside. So the next day he sighed and told them they could lay in his lap.

Now, it was so embedded into his mornings, he felt wrong without an animal on or near him. Cat or dog in his lap, snake or bird on his shoulders - he just needed something. He truly never realized just how nice petting an animal could be - even a druid disguised as one. They always thanked him afterward, though he found he wanted to thank them, too.

The sun’s rays slowly shifted. Warm, concentrated beams diffusing as it continued to rise into the mid-morning. The cat in his lap heaved a long sigh and rose to their paws. He watched as they stepped out from his crossed legs and along the rug, stretching with each step until they sat down nearby. The cat transformed back into a humanoid druid that yawned and stretched out their arms.

“Thanks,” they murmured.

Astarion chuckled. “Still tired? You’re even worse than Gale.”

They made a sound that almost sounded like a chuckle, if it was stretched and morphed by a sleepy sigh. “What can I say? Your lap is extremely comfortable.”

“I’ll add it to my list of remarkable qualities.” His head tilted as he studied them. Their shoulders drooped, their back was hunched, they rubbed their eyes, and stifled another yawn. “You look fit to collapse.”

They breathed out a long sigh. Their eyes were heavy with bags under them, staring blankly across the camp. So much to do, so little time, but Astarion was right. They wouldn’t be able to hold a half-decent conversation, let alone fight.

Astarion pat his lap, an open invitation. “I’m sure they would understand. Another day won’t kill us - hopefully.”

“How reassuring,” they muttered, but they were already shrinking back down once more into a cat. They lumbered over and curled back up, purring incessantly as they gave in to their exhaustion.

He stroked down their back again, lightly scratching along their spine. Their coat shone in the light. He wondered when the hell he’d let them get so damn close.

He sighed, allowing the mystery to fade to the back of his mind, and lifted his book once more, finding where he left off and reading on. Yeah, one day wouldn’t hurt.

---

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[pinkpigtailsprincess]

🎀 𓈒 ݁ ₊ Hello,This is Dolly 🍭

…you’ve landed onto Planet Ai’ya ! 💫🪼🎀

?? . . . LOADING … 𓈒 ݁ ₊ > 🌸

⊹ ⋆ﾟ꒰ఎ (5) NEW FROM > @ pinkpigtailsprincess

📧; HI HI!! IT’Z ME AI’YA!! 🪼🎀 Welcome 2 my blog/my own little planet this blog featurs topic such as ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ LOA ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ SHIFTING ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ADVICE ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ GIRLY MISC ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ MUSIC + MORE! . . . now more on me…

?? . . . documenting files … 𓈒 ݁ ₊ > 📟

…5teen …black/soulaan …INFJ-T

…𓂃 …ace,omni n genderfluid subliminal maker!!

AUDHD 🔥🔥🔥

ive been shifting for about 4-5 years now and im only been into loa for almost a WHOLE YEAR!!

Likes: Sanrio,plushies,roblox,blankets,fashion,bratz, monster high,barbie,my little pony,tiny alien mofu mofu,korillakuma,newjeans,kara,wonder girls,girls’ generation,tokyo revengers,magical girls anime,hime gyaru,cloud e sky,art,pink and gold,sweet treats,sweet smelling lotion and soap and kpop and jpop and i love to read books from when i was younger,i like manga,i love hair bows,fizzy cherry soda,im black,i love licca-chan dolls,powerpuff girls,lalalopsy,my scene,strawberry shortcake and pinkcalious, hello kitty,mocha,charmmy kitty,honey cute,my melody and sweet piano are my favorite sanrio characters!! 🎀🧁

Masterlist!! 🎀🧁

Law of Assumption! ⭐️

◜ 𓈒 ݁ ₊ it’s your own journey !!

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ never let 3rd parties shake you

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ dissatisfied with the old?? stop repeating it!!

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ have fun with manifesting!!

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ what does it mean 2 actually ignore the 3D?

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ break the cycle

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ everything is in your favor!!

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ rationalizing loa (boo)

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Dolly nd Honey’s Collab !! 🎀🍯

| 𓈒 ݁₊ live in imagination !

| 𓈒 ݁₊ do it for yourself!!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re the only power !

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Limitless star !!⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ feel your feelings !

| 𓈒 ݁₊ it’s already yours !

| 𓈒 ݁₊ yes or..? YES!!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ ignoring the 3d

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you are god

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you have ur sp

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Build-A-Boyfriend!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ its really so easy!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you can leave whenever you want

| 𓈒 ݁₊ why pretend to be anything less?

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you can leave whenever you want!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ wdym theres no movement?!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ it feels good to just give it to yourself

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re always in control

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re not bound to one life

| never settle for less than what you want

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ “why not me” why not you?

| don’t take that sitting down

| its all about the state

| the 3D is so 15 minutes ago

| don’t fight it change it

🎀; success story

🎀; break the cycle today or the loop with repeat tomorrow

Affirmations!! ⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ what competition?

| 𓈒 ݁₊ its my scene

| 𓈒 ݁₊ princess syndrome

| 𓈒 ݁₊ shifting vaunt

| 𓈒 ݁₊ I,Candy

| 𓈒 ݁₊ I am the god of my reality

| 𓈒 ݁₊ pink glitter fantasy

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re everything he’s just ken

| 𓈒 ݁₊ i am a god

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re my chemical hype boy

| 𓈒 ݁₊ specific person affs

| 𓈒 ݁₊ if you wanna pretty

| 𓈒 ݁₊ imagination life is your creation!!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ its a dolls world

| 𓈒 ݁₊ pink sugar

| 𓈒 ݁₊ the world is my playground!!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ sharpay evans !!

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Don’t look 4 movement be it

Shifting Realities!🎀⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ stop leaving room for failure

| 𓈒 ݁₊ unique drs you can shift to

| 𓈒 ݁₊ shifting made easy

| 𓈒 ݁₊ my dr’s pt1

| 𓈒 ݁₊ angel express 999 pt1

| 𓈒 ݁₊ my dr’s pt2

| scripting help

Misc !!🎀⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ some fun things 2 manifest bc ur limitless

| 𓈒 ݁₊ fun way 2 live in the end

| 𓈒 ݁₊ some things you can manifest

| 𓈒 ݁₊ some super cute things 2 manifest

| 𓈒 ݁₊ “illogical” things im gonna manifest pt1

Doll Talks + Tips! 🎀

| 𓈒 ݁₊ manifesting rant

🎀; running a blog - doll tips

The Advice Column!🫧

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Advice coloum Issue No.1 🎀⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Doll Tips ; Being the New Kid!! 🎀⭐️

| Hey U go girl !! 🎀

Summer Sweetie ! 🎀☀️

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ SUMMER GLOW UP PREP!!! ⭐️

SUMMER GLOW UP ; Reseting!! 👙

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Jammin in Jamacia

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ fun things 2 manifest 4 summer

🎀: summer style guide !

Dollies MP3!

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Dollies pink mp3.

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ GLITTERATION! 💫

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ songs from my playlist!

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ SLUMBER PARTY

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Song RECS!!

Passion 4 Fashion 🛍️

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ coming soon ! - 💫

Ai’ya ‘ s Room 💿

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ How 2 Dermaplain Properly!

Ai’ Zine 🛸

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ coming soon ! - 💫

Dni criteria : racist,transphobic,homophobic,anti Semitic,sexism,pro isreal,islamophobic,fat-phobic,basically all the dni criteria,€d blogs,kink or nsfw blog,old men,creeps,ddlg (ur really gross),18+,ped0s,body shaming of any kind and basically anything thats mean,gross and weird dni!!

[swallowerofdharma]

I’m stuck, so unbelievably stuck and I know why, I’d like to be exhaustive about certain topics of analysis I care about more, but I can’t because I don’t have access to all the information I need. Or sometimes I am unable to put the pieces that I have together coherently. But I shouldn’t forget that just writing down my thoughts even messily can prompt someone else to do their own research and reflections, and maybe help me back with further ideas and suggestions.

But anyway, while I was going down another rabbit hole just to find out the release dates for some of the earliest chapters of Saezuru, I came across the announcement written by Yoneda Kou back in 2015 to promote the release of the 3rd tankobon - from chapter 11 to chapter 16. And just reading through the little synopsis she wrote there prompted me to check out if it was the same text printed on the back cover of the edition I have, the Italian one, and it is.

So just to refresh our memory:

コミックス発売&特典情報

2015年6月1日発売

単行本 H&C comics 「囀る鳥は羽ばたかない3巻」 (大洋図書) 700円

【あらすじ】

真誠会若頭の矢代は、男なら誰でもいい淫乱と 噂される男だったが、部下には手を出さないと決めていた。 けれど、付き人兼用心棒の百目鬼だけは例外だった。 性的に不能で感情を見せない百目鬼の存在は、 何をしても性的対象として見られることのない安心できる存在のはずだった。 一方、何者かの銃弾に倒れた矢代を目にした百目鬼は、 自分の矢代への想いがなんであるのか、はっきりと理解した。 矢代のために変わることを決意した百目鬼と、そんな百目鬼に戸惑う矢代。 ふたりの関係が変わり始めた―!?

Comic book release & bonus information

Released June 1, 2015

Book H&C comics "Twittering birds never fly vol. 3" (Taiyo Tosho) 700 yen

[Synopsis]

Yashiro, the young leader of the Shinsei-kai, is rumored to be a slut (I really love that the Italian edition chose the word “libertino” to translate that one lol) who will do anything with any man, but he has decided not to lay a hand on his subordinates. However, his attendant and bodyguard Doumeki is an exception. Doumeki is sexually impotent and shows no emotion, so no matter what he does, he is supposed to be a reassuring presence who will never be considered a sexual object* (?? see below). On the other hand, when Doumeki sees Yashiro collapsed after being shot by someone, he clearly understands what his feelings for Yashiro are. Doumeki decides to change for Yashiro, and Yashiro is confused by Doumeki's actions. Is their relationship starting to change?!

*The part that I am not clear about 100% is this one:

性的に不能で感情を見せない百目鬼の存在は、 何をしても性的対象として見られることのない安心できる存在のはずだった。

This part can be interpreted as Yashiro not seeing Doumeki as a sexual object or Doumeki seemingly not seeing Yashiro as one - I am unsure which one is, the Italian translation reworded it saying: Doumeki’s simple presence reassures Yashiro because, whatever thing he does, Doumeki doesn’t look at him like a sexual object.

As I said, I wanted to refresh our memory, maybe it could help to collect the synopsis from each volume, since they can give useful indications of what Yoneda Kou wanted to communicate more overtly.

It is nice to me to see direct confirmation of the fact that, before Doumeki regained his ability to have an erection and lost his grip on his emotions, Yashiro was experiencing a new level of comfort and safety in the presence of another man like he couldn’t before and he seemed to seek intimacy in different ways, not all sexually charged - but including sexually charged experiments - taking the initiative and instinctively letting Doumeki closer, while also keeping old boundaries on the emotional level, while Doumeki kept hiding his emotional investment, until he erupted.

The fact that sexual potency is so very central in Saezuru, besides being a signal and a device to build a story, and that the ability or inability to have an erection is associated with fluctuations in terms of dominance/submission, sexual aggression, sexual violence and pleasure is so very interesting to me. The more I pay attention to contemporary discussions about sex/gender, intersectional feminism and transfeminism, the functions and performances tied to having a penis - how they are framed and culturally constructed and taught and enforced - is a topic that has such relevant weight! And Yoneda Kou drawing and playing with these concepts isn’t unrelated or completely accidental: I personally don’t believe that she is unaware of certain implications and meta readings of what she depicts. More food for thoughts, while I try to get myself out of a rut (unintentional pun?) and write down my analysis on the three pages from chapter 4 I keep thinking about next.

Can Doumeki be a reassuring presence again for Yashiro? How nostalgic that would be.

[lorainelegacy]

The Mentor

Before proceeding:

1 -What you are about to read is a literal translation of my fanfic in Spanish (my language) and although my level of English is good I have never read books in English so my writing sounds good in Spanish. So please keep this in mind.

2 - Loraine is 23 years old. I want to make this clear so that you don't think I'm a pedo. I would never ship a grown man with an underage girl. In this fanfic there is a variation on the age of each year so that Hogwarts not only functions as a school, but also as a university. It's something that I found interesting and that I think makes a lot of sense since in the Muggle world there are universities within the same school. Apart from that, I hope to be as faithful as possible to the logic and history of Hogwarts Legacy. Always keeping in mind that this is a fanfic and I will create situations, characters and stories of my own. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed the game back in the day. Next, I will leave a small guide with the age of the students of each year in this fanfic:

1st Year: 11-12

2nd Year: 13-14

3rd Year: 15-16

4th Year: 17-18

5th Year: 19-20 (O.W.L.s)

6thYear: 21-22

7thYear: 23-24 (N.E.W.T.s)

3 - There will be explicit sex scenes between Eleazar and Loraine, of course, but I'll take it easy. Since I don't want this fanfic to be just a fanfic where there's sex, I want the tension to grow between them as the teacher/apprentice bond grows and their relationship becomes closer. Besides, I think it makes the most sense. I want to keep the sexual tension until the moment it explodes, if you know what I mean.

You can also find it on Wattpad and Ao3.

Pairing: Eleazar Fig x f! Adult MC

Summary: Loraine Hawks is a young woman who lives with her aunt and uncle in a small village in the south of Scotland. Her life has always been a torment, until one day, a strange, silver-haired man of elegant bearing appears at her door. With a voice that exudes wisdom and an air of mystery, he reveals that the Ministry of Magic has set its sights on her, wanting her to join the seventh year immediately. Loraine, incredulous at such a claim, feels that every word is a whisper of a fairy tale too good to be true. However, the warmth he radiates, his infectious smile and the spark of genuine magic in his eyes, instil Loraine with an unexpected sense of confidence.

And so, with the decision made in a heartbeat, Loraine turns her back on what she once called home, but which more closely resembled a prison without bars. Together with her new mentor, she embarks on a magical journey, full of promise and dreams, towards a destiny that promises to be as surprising as the most unexpected twist of a well-conjured spell.

List of chapters to date

-> Chapter I — An unexpected visitor

-> Chapter II — The Sleeping Goblin

-> Chapter III — Bad omen

-> Chapter IV — Fire

-> Chapter V — Gringotts

-> Chapter VI — The Vault Twelve test

-> Chapter VII — The Sorting Ceremony

[jinnaizaemon]

Happy movie trailer day! In the meantime I'm making myself busy translating the second movie, and because I have a stupid amount of notes about that scene introducing the special Kisanta rescue team (the kids who didn't complete their homework), I thought I'd share them here. It's a bit long, so it's under the cut!

"1st year ha-class, Settsu no Kirimaru. Assigned with a book report. Planned to copy someone else’s homework. I was too busy working part time jobs!"

In the background there's a seigaiha wave pattern, which has been used since the Heian period, and so is well established already during Muromachi where Nintama takes place. Because of the unending motion of waves, it's an auspicious pattern that evokes resilience.

Then, there's of course the little coins Kirimaru loves so much ("kozeni!"). They are called eiraku-tsuho after the japanese reading of the characters 永樂通寳 on it, but back then they were commonly called eiraku-sen. They are copper coins worth 1 mon (the currency of the time) each, and they have a square hole in the middle so they can be tied to a string.

The text scrolling across the screen goes like this: 人も歩けば銭を拾う. "Even people can pick up coins if they keep walking." Looks like Kirimaru's own take on the japanese proverb "Even a dog can pick up a stick if it keeps walking.", meaning that good things are bound to happen if you keep going. 成るも成らぬも銭次第. "When there's money, there's a way." Literally "Success depends on money.", but is a spin on "when there's a will, there's a way". 銭は天下の落とし物 "Coins are what heavens dropped and left behind", literally. So something like "Coins fell from heavens' pocket." If it's a spin on a proverb, I don't know about it, sorry!

"1st year ha-class, Fukutomi Shinbei. Assigned with kanji exercises. Planned to copy someone else’s homework. Instead I ate a lot of yummy food!"

In the background are konpeitou, a type of candy introduced in Japan by Portuguese traders by the end of Muromachi.

At the time, it was an exotic and expensive product, but surely it's something Shinbei would be able to enjoy back at his family home in Sakai, whose port became a hub for foreign trade at the time due to Oda Nobunaga forming friendly relationships with the Portuguese (a missionary even gifted him konpeitou to earn his favors). So if there's one character who could afford konpeitou, it would probably be Shinbei! (I'm sure Tasogare Jinbei would love it too.)

The scrolling text reads: 地上の子の最大の幸福は満腹なれ "In a full belly lies a child of earth's chief happiness." Shinbei's own take on these verses part of Goethe's West-Eastern Divan: In sense of personal being lies A child of earth's chief happiness. ���食足りて宿題忘るる "The poor can't afford homewowork." It comes from the japanese proverb "once fed and clothed, one learns manners", which I think in English would be "the poor can't afford manners". Literally translates to "Once fed and clothed, you forgeget about homework". Yes, Shinbei added an extra character, so the last word gets an extra vowel lol.

"3rd year ro-class, Kanzaki Samon. Assigned with farm work practice. Somehow never found the way to the assigned farm. That was homework for a 2nd year? So stupid!"

Behind him are mah-jong tiles with the characters for the fourth cardinal points on them: 北 (north), 南 (south), 東 (east), 西 (west). Obviously relating to his sense of direction.

The text reads: 進退は疑うなかれ "Don't doubt your actions." 敵を見て謀るなかれ "Do not scheme just by watching the enemy." Sadly I don't know where these lines come from. 迷わず行けよ行けば判る "Just go without hesitation; if you go, you will understand." This is taken from a quote by pro-wrestler Antonio Inoki.

"4th year i-class, Tairano Takiyashamaru. I tore the social science work I was given since it was for 1st years! I boast the best grades in my year, don’t make a fool of me!"

The rose frame evokes early shoujo manga, most notably The Rose of Versailles by Riyoko Ikeda, where roses are a recurring symbol in the story of the main characters' enduring beauty and dignity even in the hardest times. That idea of beauty, utsukushisa, is something Takiyashamaru mentions a lot, insisting on doing things beautifully always.

The scrolling text reads: 選ばれし者の恍惚と不満ふたつ我有り "I have both the ecstasy and displeasure of being the chosen one." Taken from Dazai Osamu's short story Leaves. 天才を天才たらしめるのは私の本能 My instinct makes me a genius among geniuses. His own take on a quote by Bob Dylan:  "I believe that instinct is what makes a genius a genius.". He made it about himself... classic Taki...

"5th year ro-class, Fuwa Raizou. Got overwhelmed with apprehension over the science exercises aimed at 3rd years that I received. How come that homework is so easy?"

In the background are lined up onigawara. Oni is often translated as "ogre" or "demon", but originally the figure of the oni symbolizes everything that is out of human's power and influence, making them not necessarily malicious ; all events that amount to luck, fate, force of natures like earthquakes, storms, etc, Which is why you find onigawara, roof tiles made in the shape of oni, placed there in order to ward off evil and misfortune. Fuwa Raizou's name sounds similar to the yojijukugo (four kanji compound expression) 付和雷同 "fu wa rai dou" meaning "to follow others blindly". That's not very sympathetic towards ever hesitant Raizou, but the characters used to spell his name are different : 不(un-) 破(breakable) 雷(thunder) 蔵(warehouse, ownership) The unbreakable mind who puts thunder in a box, who made thunder his own. Under his indecisiveness there's a reliable senpai and protector, just like the onigawara!

Raizou has only one sentence scrolling across the screen:

お前の実力はこの程度ということなのだろうか "Could this be the extent of your ability?" I don't know if this refers to something else, the sentence being very... anime fight-speech like it makes it difficult to research haha.

"You never change, Raizou. Gave up on homework to follow Raizou. 5th year ro-class, Hachiya Saburou."

I love this transition! His introduction mirrors Raizou: He comments first, gives his reason for not doing his homework second, and shares his name last. Excuse my sloppy edit in the picture above, I wanted to include all the mask in one picture. The striped background evokes a theater curtains, and all of Raizou's onigawara are swapped with masks from Noh theater - they all represent different characters, of different archetypes, gender, etc. Some are humans, some are spirits, some are good or evil... conveying of course Saburou's mastery of disguise! I tried to name all the masks on the picture above, but I'm really no expert so I might have made mistakes. Incidentally, Ayakashimaru from 1st year ro-class is named after the "Ayakashi" Noh mask. Although they aren't pictured here, there exist masks named Fushikizou, Heita, and Magojirou.

As for the scrolling text... take a deep breath everyone because it's a lot:

比翼の鳥 連理の枝一膳の箸 把手共行 碎啄同時 "Lovebirds flying together, intertwined branches of a tree, A pair of chopsticks, walking hand in hand, a chance opportunity."

There's.. a LOT going on here, yojijukugo and poetic imagery, so let's break it down:

比翼の鳥 連理の枝 hiyoko no tori, literally birds in flight, is an expression meaning "a happily married couple". renri no eda means intertwined branches, the "renri" part refering to trees growing to become cojointed. In Japanese, such trees are seen as an auspicious symbol of marriage, and "renri" is an expression to refer to an intimate relationship.

This specific imagery is found in the Chinese poem, the Song of Everlasting Regret, telling the story of star-crossed lovers:

“In the heavens, we vow to be as two birds flying wingtip to wingtip, On earth, we vow to be as two intertwined branches of a tree.”

一膳の箸 ichizen no hashi is literally "a pair of chopsticks".

把手共行 hashukyouko means "to go together, hand in hand".

碎啄同時 sottaku douji means an once in a life time chance, a golden opportunity. It evokes two people learning and working in sync, and in Buddhism, it refers to a teacher helping a disciple attain enlightenment.

Oh...Saburou...❤️

"6th year ha-class, Zenpouji Isaku. Got an assignment for 4th years, “Steal the flag of the Tasogaredoki army”. But it didn’t count since I ripped the flag I got to make bandages out of it. It was in pieces, but I did bring back a whole flag…"

I'm not sure of what is in the background haha. The designs and the brown side remind me a lot of the matchboxes sold in the Taisho era and until mid Showa. They're known by the word for "matchbox label", 燐票, rinpyou. These matchboxes were used for advertising, notably by drugstores for selling medicine. This is at least what the designs of the boxes on the screenshot reminds me of, especially the blue Junko (the snake being associated with traditional medicine too).

The text reads: ちちんぷいぷい いたいのいたいのむこうのおやまへとんでゆけ "There, there, ouchies fly away, to the mountain over there." The whole sentence is written in the easy to read, phonetic hiragana alphabet, to match the "baby speech" tone of the sentence. The first part, chichin puipui, is used as a "spell" by parents, nurses, etc to comfort small children in pain. Then, the ouchies are sent flying away with a motion of the hand to make them feel better.

That's it for today! I hope it wasn't too long to read! Thank you for reading this far! If you have extra info, please let me know!

[ssruis]

i like youre posts, thoughts on ruinene ?

As a romantic dynamic: I don’t really think abt them that way… it’s the unrepentant emunene/ruikasa bias. Also a lot of rui & nene’s interactions read as very… sibling-like? To *me*. Personally. I hesitate to say sibling-like, because people get really weird about assigning family dynamics to characters who aren’t related or raised as siblings and have never referred to each other as siblings (“it’s basically incest” no it is not what are you on), but it’s something similar to that imo. Gestures at nene’s new 3rd anniversary 2* card story where Rui is like “I remember when you were reading picture books… and now you’re reading more advanced books… how time flies…” & she’s like “stop treating me like a kid 😑” despite being him being only one year older than her.

I don’t have anything against it (& I think taking shipping fictional characters seriously enough to fight over it is ridiculous), it’s just not for me & I don’t see it romantically. But for the people who do: you do you have fun enjoy yourselves. (I also personally think Rui is gay coded but again. Idc if people disagree it doesn’t affect me I’m glad they’re having fun. Also that’s a hot button topic & I don’t want the people who do take this shit too seriously to hunt me down with pitchforks and torches please go outside it’s not that deep.)

As a platonic dynamic/going off what’s in canon: I’m so obsessed with them (as I am with all wxs dynamics). They’re so fascinating to me. They make me so sad. Another reason I hate the “they’re siblings” thing is it feels like a boring restrictive box people want to shove their dynamic into that does a disservice to how interesting it is. It waters it down.

Nene was the only person Rui really had as a friend when he was a kid, and the only person who trusted in him and his ideas. They grew their love for theatre together. At some point they grew distant - we don’t know why, but my personal take on it is this:

1. Rui slowly growing to think he would never find anyone who got him after experiencing rejection after rejection, and pushing Nene away. A combination of “I need to leave her before she leaves me, this way it will hurt less because it’s My Choice”, “I shouldn’t inflict myself upon other people it’s better for everyone if I stay by myself”, and “Nene has her own friends now I would just be dragging her down.”

2. Nene having her own friends (new troupe) and slowly pulling back - or, at least, not actively trying to prevent him pushing her away. “I don’t want to experience the same social rejection, and I don’t know how to help Rui, there’s nothing I can do.” Nene, especially in the early days, has never been very assertive, and I don’t think favoring blending into the background over standing out (in a potentially embarrassing way) due to Rui’s stunts and ideas would be out of character for her.

3. I don’t think they went to the same middle school/junior high (I could be wrong) (did they even go to the same elementary school?) which meant they didn’t spend time together without one of them reaching out, which became increasingly rare.

I don’t think either of them are to blame. Or they share equal blame, depending on how you look at it. I see people placing more of the blame on Nene though, which is… Nene get behind me. Leave her alone. If you held my prsk account at gunpoint and said “ok but seriously who is more to blame for the relationship breakdown you have choose or your 4*s are gone forever” I would say Rui. Wouldn’t even have to think about it. Given his abandonment issues/avoidant tendencies/habit of pushing others away/pre main story mindset, it’s what makes the most sense.

They don’t really reconnect until the main story, and even then I wholeheartedly believe Rui was less interested in reconnecting than he was interested in getting Nene to perform again. He accepts Tsukasa’s invitation to WxS under the condition that he gets to bring in a fourth member and then immediately tries to leave the second Tsukasa is like “I don’t want to die wtf.” like he doesn’t even try that hard to convince him he just goes “ok bye have fun nene :).”

Rui builds Nene a robot so she can perform again which - I’ve talked about it before briefly, I need to talk about it at length at some point, but while that’s very sweet it’s also… not helpful. Not in the long run, at least. It wasn’t a *bad* thing, it was just the only solution he was capable of offering. It was a bandaid over a gaping wound situation - Nene couldn’t hide behind a robot forever. Rui couldn’t always be there to fix nenerobo, she couldn’t pursue performing seriously behind a robot, and she *wanted* to be on stage again. What Nene needed was the courage to get on stage again, and Rui didn’t have the skill set to help with that, because it was something Nene needed to find on her own (with support).

The thing about them in the early days is they both enabled each other to stagnate in situations they weren’t happy with. Maybe more so Rui than Nene, in that he literally built he a robot to allow her to avoid confronting her anxiety around performing, but Nene also lacked the ability to challenge or discourage Rui’s “I’m better off on my own” mindset. The tragic consequences of two people who lack social skills (one of which has pretty severe social anxiety) trying to help each other. Nothing really gets done.

(As an aside: this is why the emu+nene and tsukasa+rui dynamics are so crucial. Yes even outside of a ship dynamic I promise I’m accounting for my own bias. Emu+tsukasa did actually have the ability to encourage nene+rui to come out of their shells - Emu is Nene’s no.1 hype man and always encourages her in everything she does and pushes her outside her comfort zone socially. Nene doesn’t have to guess at what Emu is thinking & get caught up in the weeds of anxiety bc Emu will just tell her outright. Rui credits Tsukasa specifically with giving him the chance to change for a reason, and Mizuki/pandemonium NPCs point out that Rui has seemed so much happier and less closed off since becoming Tsukasa’s friend. Pointing @ the thing Rui’s CV said about as you like it.)

There’s still some degree of guilt on Nene’s side wrt being unable to help Rui even now, but that’s lessened over the course of the story. There’s a lot that goes unsaid between them about their shared past, but they also understand each other incredibly well after knowing each other for ~10 years. By virtue of knowing each other forever they’re both well acquainted with how the other’s mind works.

Nene can tell what’s bothering Rui in wonder halloween before even he realizes it, and she understands that he struggles to explain/articulate his feelings and issues in curtain call. Rui is tuned into Nene’s anxiety saw trap of a mind and is well versed in getting her to realize she’s overthinking things (I.e. “why don’t you just ask tsukasa what he did in the acting camp” in her emu3 2* card. I think that’s the right card) as well as getting her to speak up (shutting emu up with a donut in one of the earlier nene card stories so nene has a chance to talk. source here is just trust me I don’t want to hunt the card down).

Nene is always in his corner, and the reverse is true. They want each other to be happy and they’re so so so pleased that the other is doing better now. Nene often points out that Rui seems happier, and Rui is very proud of how far Nene has grown both on the stage and off it. Love their dynamic it’s so good… I care them…

[cobaltswriting]

Character Essay: Snape

So, there are some characters that I have feelings about. Like, that I can see what the author was trying to do with them, but I also just... think they failed.

Unsurprisingly, two of these characters have to do with Harry Potter. Severus Snape, and Albus Dumbledore.

Yes, I know, J.K. Rowling is a terrible person and a TERF. But this is still something I wanna write about. And this is my blog. So... yeah. The Albus Dumbledore post might come later.

So, Severus Snape.

I’m gonna break this down into 3 big issues I have with the character. Which does definitely call into question the way Snape was written. And I'll even put it under a read more so any people who are pro-Snape for whatever reason don't have to read any further.

And yeah, this isn't going to be nice to Snape. Like, I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Albus Severus Potter should have been named Rubeus Remus. It is actually kind of a crime that he never named a child for Hagrid, considering Hagrid was literally the first person who was nice to him and introduced him to the Wizarding World. But I digress, let's get to the main subject of this essay.

1. Treatment of Students

We know why Snape treats Harry like shit. It doesn't make it ok, but I wanna talk about other students. Disregarding the favouritism towards his own house, we already come across a huge problem, that is also a problem with Dumbledore as well...

Snape's an abusive teacher.

Even if we disregard Snape's treatment of Harry, we have how he treats students like Neville, and insults leveled at students not within his house. Even the best Hermione, who is basically as close to a perfect student as we get, is simply ignored and passed over without a comment, and Neville... Hoo boy.

Like, I don't know the specific guidelines teachers are given that they're not allowed to cross, but Snape breaks almost all of them. Insults and abuse are hurled towards Neville constantly, even when he's in other classes, like him insulting Neville right in front of Lupin. And while I do like Lupin... Lupin just smiles at it. Nothing ever happens. Snape apparently never even gets told off about abusing his students. Hell, he yells at Hermione and Harry in front of the Minister for Magic in the 3rd book, and Fudge, while surprised, does nothing about it other than trying to calm Snape down.

Like, is abuse just... not a thing in the Wizarding World? This comes up in my thoughts about Dumbledore as well, beyond this, but...

If Snape was a teacher anywhere else, he would have been fired. Like, immediately. But he's just allowed to do so. Like, the closest thing to punishment he gets is that he's not allowed to teach Defence of the Dark arts until Harry's 6th year.

And just so we know this isn't the norm, let's look at another teacher... Minerva McGonagall.

She is the head of Gryffindor House (although I still think she should be a Ravenclaw. As should Hermione. BUT ANYWAY) but she does not favour her house. Excluding Quidditch, in which she supports her House's team, but that's a different thing, that's fine. Whereas Snape has probably never taken so much as a single point from Slytherin, she was responsible for the largest amount of points taken from Harry at one time, if I'm right. If not the largest amount, certainly the largest amount of points taken in the first book. She is also strict, but is also shown to be fair, and will compliment a student and praise them if they do well. She praises Hermione in their first class, because while Hermione did not entirely succeed, she did show godd progress for her first try. And while we do not see her compliment a student from another House, it can be assumed that it does happen.

This is how a teacher SHOULD be. They are there to nurture students, teach them, not abuse them and play favourites.

There are other teachers in Hogwarts, but Snape is the main one who abuses them. A case could be made for Barty Crouch (disguised as Mad-Eye Moody) abusing them, by putting them under the Imperius Curse) but considering he was a Death Eater, and was apparently doing it because Dumbledore wanted him to, we'll just... ignore him. I don't think it's too far from what Moody would actually do, although I don't like to think of Moody as abusive.

But yeah, Snape is very abusive of his students, to the point that the most positive thing he can really do towards a student that isn't from Slytherin is ignore them or say nothing. And abuse is a really fucking bad thing, in case you didn't know.

Let's move onto the next topic...

2. His 'love' of Lily Evans

Yeah, I put the love in quotation marks. Mainly because it... doesn't really read that much like love to me. I am aromantic, so that might have SOMETHING to do with it, but...

It just comes off more as a creepy sort of obsession than anything else. An obsession deep enough for him to have a doe as a patronus.

Like... let's start from the beginning. The first time we see Snape and Lily, Snape is spying on her and it's implied that he's been doing so for a little bit. Even though they're just kids, I'm pretty sure that counts as stalking. And then he makes a branch fall on Petunia when she insults them, which could have seriously injured her, depending on the size of the branch and where it hit her. It was enough to make Petunia cry at the least when it hit her shoulder.

Snape also encouraged Lily to steal letters from her sister and read them, when they found out that Petunia had written to Hogwarts. Although I guess that doesn't really come into the subject of his 'love' for Lily.

We also see that Snape is very... racist, I guess? Does the whole blood thing count as racist? Calling Lily a Mudblood, and then when he tries to apologise he can't even deny that if it was anyone but her, he would not apologise for it. So basically having different rules for her, which I guess could come into a love thing but the fact that he calls muggleborns Mudblood and yet 'loves' one comes out as... kinda fetishistic to me, I'm not gonna lie.

In the books we also have him desperate to protect her from Voldemort, crying when she's dead... And yet despite that, he is horribly abusive to her son, just because he looks like his father. And yet he does say that he wants to keep him safe, angry at Dumbledore when he finds out they've basically been raising him like a lamb to the slaughter. So apparently he's fine with possibly mentally scarring Harry, but killing him? Oh, that's just totally unforgivable!

You can point out various things across the books that Snape has done for Harry, but that doesn't change the fact that Snape is INCREDIBLY abusive to Harry, even moreso than he is to other students.

And then we have him taking part of Lily's letter, just because it had her signiture, and part of the photo that showed her in it, which just... always struck me as creepy. Stalker-ish. I dunno how to explain it any better than that.

And then, we have absolutely the creepiest part... him wanting Harry to look at him as he dies. Just so he can pretend that he's looking into Lily's eyes, probably. Which... yeah, that's just super creepy.

Like, I honestly cannot see it as romance at all. It just comes off as Snape having an obsession. It's even worse in the movies where he is shown cradling Lily's dead body against him and crying. Which normally wouldn't be that bad but with everything else on top of that... yeah.

This does bring us onto the last subject...

3. Snape's 'Redemption'

Snape's redemption is supposed to happen after his death. Here's the problem... he's one of the main examples about why J.K. is very poor when it comes to redeeming characters. Like, Draco could have been set up for a redemption, but he wasn't, as were his parents. Snape was set up for a redemption... and J.K. seems to think it was enough?

So, the main thing that is supposed to redeem Snape, that is meant to make us think he's ok... is showing us his past with Lily, and various discussions with Dumbledore. The whole sequence is for exposition and to try and make us think Snape is a good guy because he 'loved' Lily, and that was his motivation for everything good he did. Which, again, comes off as pretty obsessive.

Here's the thing though...

Snape abused Harry for 6 years of his life. He made Draco set a snake on him in his second year. He repeatedly broke into Harry's mind which seemed to end up having the opposite effect that Dumbledore wanted. Dumbledore even basically admits as much, saying that Snape was a poor choice for it, that he had hoped Snape would be able to see past his hatred of Harry's father. He refused to listen to anyone when it came to Sirius, refusing the possibility that Sirius might be innocent (until Dumbledore talked to him about it, probably), outed a colleague as a werewolf, which, considering the allergory J.K. was aiming for, was like outing a gay man, and made him resign from his job because he knew student's parents would be writing in to complain about it, so it essentially cost Lupin a job, which as we know, is already something that werewolves had problems with.

I do have issues with J.K.'s allergory of werewolves as homosexuals... but let's just say that one of the most notable werewolves, after Remus, was known for attacking and 'turning' children and leave it at that. It's not relevant to the topic at hand anyway.

Showing us that Snape did some things right, and that he 'loved' Lily... like, let's pretend that he did love Lily for a moment, and that it wasn't a creepy obsession.

... That still doesn't excuse the shit he did. It doesn't excuse the abuse at all. It doesn't redeem him from being a Death Eater. His only reason for wanting to save the Potter family was Lily.

Saving Harry's life in the first year by countering Quirrell's curse, and then acting as referee in the next match to protect Harry? That doesn't redeem the abuse that he inflicted upon Harry in the first year, let alone the rest of it.

Let's assume he had the best intentions in Prisoner of Azkaban, and he was interested in rescuing Harry, Ron and Hermione from Sirius. Although that is a HUGE assumption, all things considered... still doesn't redeem him.

Checking that Sirius was indeed at headquarters and then alerting them that Harry had gone to the Department of Mysteries to try and save Sirius when Sirius wasn't even there? Still doesn't redeem him.

None of the good things Snape does redeems him for the abuse he inflicted upon his students and especially Harry and Neville, and his love for Lily reads more like a creepy obsession.

J.K. tried to redeem Snape... and absolutely failed. Sometimes when you write a character, you need more than a single chapter to redeem them.

I'm not even sure if Snape was redeemable at all. Abusing children is a pretty fucking terrible thing. And I don't think it's even me being biased for being abused by a teacher, it's just unacceptable.

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

Scary as a sleepy kitten

When - 10 or so minutes after He hasn't been himself, which takes place during the Chupacabra episode of Season 2

What - the finishing touches on Daryl's medical care, how Andrea's handling almost mistakenly killing the guy. You assure her that he's about as scary as a sleepy kitten right then. Then, there's digesting big bro Shane's descent from morality along with Daryl's simultaneous growth in it. Bonus is a hint regarding the Greene's barn. So sad there aren't any barn cats in there anymore, wonder what happened...

Genre - a little angsty, a little fluffy, a little found-family.

Who - You, Mangy Hick (that's Daryl), Patricia, Andrea, Papa Dale and his not good book, and sweet little Beth (who's got the same headcanon from the Fabulously Confident Reader stories about liking choose-your-own-adventure books)

Perspective - 2nd person, and 3rd Daryl

Pronouns - did GN again this time

TWs - some language, otherwise you just have a brief blow-up. The day's been something else, y'all

Length? - 10-15 minutes

References - when Daryl made that funny in Like a traditional Sunday dinner, the incident with Ed as seen in "Deserved" Part 1 but mostly Part 2 and its cooldown in It's not the end of the wo - oh. There's the continuation of big brother Shane's descent, a slow progression in a bulk of the chapters. Be sure to check out Invisible Tugging Strings, Part 1 and Part 2 , then Spell your last name, please. as well as He hasn't been himself

Official Masterlist here (find fabulously confident reader there!) and the Chronological Slowpoke Masterlist here

have fun and happy reading!

Apologies for the lengthy delay, slowpokes, my brain has been on power-saver for about a month, might could be evident in the chapter, too XD

...........................................

“Guess I'll just move this arm like a robot—oh-ho, check it, I can still do the tomahawk chop, y’all!”

And yeah, then his friend proceeds to make barely one and a half chops before wincing. The slight pout that forms afterward makes him want to smile, it’s damn cute.

“Hurt more than I thought it would.”

The twangy blonde lady looks entertained. “Tell me why, Y/N.”

Their pout turns more embarrassed. “…Movin’ the forearm requires these here muscles.”

He liked that their accent revved up more with the blonde lady—sorry, her name’s Patricia, he knows, got it.

“Which affects what?” Patricia asks.

“My shoulder and chest.”

“Which are injured and got irritated something serious today, along with what I’m fairly sure is maybe your C6 and 7, maybe the T1, whenever you first got hurt.”

“Yes, ma’am,” they mumble.

Stop thinking Y/N looks cute. Also, what were those letter-number things?

Sighing, his friend stares at their upper arm.

So, during the, like, he doesn’t know, 5 minutes or whatever it was when the old man helped him slump to the bathroom so he could finally take a piss, Y/N’s upper arm was wrapped to their torso to prevent them from hurting it more. They keep overdoing it, and they keep taking their damn sling off, so Patricia made a compromise, he guesses.

And after doing a modeling-pose type thing with their wrapped arm and asking who was wearing their gauze better, them or him, Y/N immediately tried to do the tomahawk chop and move like a robot and why is he finding that so damn cute right now?.

Patricia winks at Y/N. “Name some of the muscles up there and I won’t put the rest in a sling."

You

“Ooh, bicep, tricep,” basics out of the way. “This, um, one of these over here is the brachialis, this is the deltoid, the teres major’s under here.” You got that muscle wrong on an anatomy midterm back during college and never forgot about it. “This here is the trapezius.” Because the dudes who do the trapeze at the circus got real big ones (or at least that’s how you remember it). “And, well, the clavicle is this bone, so the bone under it is the scapula, which means right about here’s the subscapularis muscle,” that she said you may have hurt, “Oh, duh, then ‘the major one is the pectoralis.’ And—”

“—Okay, no sling.”

Phew. “Thank you!”

“For now, anyway. Meanwhile, Hersh is givin’ me a look, let’s get to cleaning our friend, here.”

Him

The funny part is, as Patricia left, she made a face and said, “I don’t remember most of the muscle or bone names, I just took Y/N's word for it. Now, Daryl, don’t go gettin’ out of bed, stay put.”

Now he’s finally laying down, nothing else to be done to him. He’s so damn tired.

He’s scrubbed up, too. Got a big-ass bandage over his head, wrapped all around. That was a trip; Patricia and Y/N washed his head and neck over a bowl. He counted the seconds til it was over, half-listened to whatever they were chatting about to distract himself.

Once he was bound up like a cartoon character and given instruction to not get it wet, Hershel came back and walked him to the bathroom again, this time to clean everything else off.

There was a little stool thing in the shower, with the shower hose on the ground instead of hanging. “Don’t get your head or the bandage wet. There's a waterproof cover over the dressing on your side that you'll have to remove when you're finished. Now, I imagine you prefer total privacy, but if you need the help, I can assist, or I can get your friend Theodore, if your prefer.”

“M’fine.”

The simple response “I’ll be outside the door, Daryl,” surprised him. Made him feel stupid and ashamed and comforted all at the same time.

And he…he needed the damn help. Ain’t like the old guy hadn’t seen his back already, anyway.

Still, the old man mostly stayed behind the shower curtain at his request, and he didn’t see his junk or nothing, Daryl made sure to keep himself covered.

Part of him felt like some pathetic little cat getting a flea bath.

Today was something else.

So goddamned tired…

You

Not 15 minutes went by since he was escorted to the washroom and now he’s fast asleep under the sheets.

Lori and you stayed inside with Carl (and Daryl), and Carol and Rick brought in plates of food into the house for the four of you.

Carol cooked up some jerky with an egg for Daryl as a special treat with the rest of his meal. Menu for tonight is peanut butter sandwiches (sort of, they’re on saltines), hard-boiled eggs (not soft-boiled, you checked this time), with sauteed field greens.

Your poor friend must be ravenous, but it looks like tiredness won this round. He looks so different asleep. Sweet, even. It's silly, but his light snores almost sound like purring and now you're thinking about kittens.

Another moment in the quiet, and you figure you shouldn’t stand there like a weirdo anymore.

Well, his egg and the peanut butter sandwiches will keep until he wakes up, and the jerky and egg will taste great either way, but his portion of sauteed field greens won’t be nice cold. You’re only a little bummed when you slide your portion of little sandwiches onto his plate and take his portion of greens. He’s earned extra treats, he can have all the peanut butter he wants after what he found today.

You inhale deeply. Exhale slowly. Close your eyes and ask inwardly for help after offering more thanks that he came back alive, and found concrete proof of Sophia.

It’s nice to be in the quiet. It feels safer better to be away from Shane right now, too. You aren’t sure what you’re going to do about the sleeping situation other than tell your brother to set up his own tent.

You also take one of the cracker sandwiches, it’s been a rough day. But when you start to nibble on it…your appetite is gone. Which is so dumb, dude, you’d been stoked at the thought of chowing down when you were high on Daryl being okay and having found Sophia’s doll.

Daryl’s chest rises and falls. You listen to his light snores, and find it, as Amy would’ve said, “interesting,” (but understandable) that your stomach has a few butterflies at seeing him so peaceful and still.

You miss Amy. Which prompts you to consider that you should check on Andrea. Earlier, Dale had come in and asked a bunch of questions for her because she was too ashamed to see people. From wherever she is right now, Amy is probably hoping you’ll help comfort her big sister.

Patricia stops you before you exit the house through the side-door. “Been meanin' to ask, I heard you tell your brother to get out, earlier. Everythin’ okay?”

That question was unexpected, words aren’t working for you. You shake and nod at the same time, which is weird, so, you open your mouth to fix it, but nothing formulates.

After a second try, all you can stumble through is “I don’t know, ma’am,” before ungracefully scooting outside.

After 5 minutes of polite conversation on the steps, mainly between you and Dale regarding Daryl’s status, Andrea is still dumbfounded that she’d almost killed someone.

“He’s really okay?”

“He’s bandaged and resting now. You only winged him, but the falls he took earlier did the most damage, Andy.” You’re trying not to be angry with her, but failing. Which sucks, because you know she was trying to protect the group…

But that she still shot it even though it was against Mr. Greene’s wishes and she knew that indicates an unhealthy variety of pride. One can't be having that kind of attitude with a firearm, it ain't good. And Daryl was almost a casualty because of it.

And like, come on, there were five of you running toward her target, it was dangerous for her to attempt to shoot from that angle! Doesn’t she understand that’s irrespons—ugh, and isn’t Shane supposed to have been doing gun safety shit with her? Isn’t that his whole wannabe jarhead schtick—great, now you’re more upset about Shane!

“I’m glad you’re enjoying those, ” Dale tells you, nodding at your cracker and chuckling. “They’re the part of dinner I rushed to help make, this evening was…something.”

He shrugs, and you remember how Daryl grunted that today was ‘somethin’ else.’

“I suppose having spread the peanut butter on crackers was a small step up from offering it on spoons to everyone,” he muses.

You can’t help but hum, a spoonful of peanut butter sounds scrumptious right now. Makes a good breakfast or snack, too.

“Did Daryl eat enough?” Andrea worries. “Does he need anything?”

“He was asleep when I brought him his supper, but I left my portion of the crackers—minus this one—on his plate.”

“Come to think of it, I’m not sure he’s a fan of peanut butter,” Dale thinks out loud. “I offered him some for breakfast one morning, and now that I recall, he backed away from it.”

Not like peanut butter?

“—Oh my God, what if he’s he allergic?” Andrea breathes.

“Nah, he ate a peanut yesterday. I was havin’ one of the little packets for lunch and he tried one, he can’t be allergic,” you assure them. And surely he doesn’t not like peanuts. That would be so sad!

It gets quiet.

Andrea stares at her feet.

“I can’t believe almost killed him.” She inhales and buries her face in her hands. “I shot someone.”

And Dale is only meaning to ease her discomfort and add some levity—but whether it’s because of the new bond you have with Daryl, or maybe because here’s something of a flashback hitting you from how you’d had to actually shoot a living person a few months ago—when Dale jokes to you, “Like I told her, we’ve all wanted to shoot Daryl,” you become livid.

After two shallow breaths of your inner tea kettle screaming, this sentence: “Guess y’all will want sunshine over here to work on her aim, then,” seethes out as you stand and book it to the fields.

The past several days especially has shown you how wrong your initial conclusions about that man were. He’s a work-in-progress, make no mistake, but shit if he ain’t working on it!

Unlike your brother, who keeps getting worse, who just tried to flirt with Lori by saying he didn’t care about a missing, abused little girl—the same little girl Daryl was willing to almost die to find!

Horrified at Shane and about today; confused, embarrassed, overwhelmed, in pain, overtired, and therefore angry about everything, you walk, hyperventilate, and finally, quietly, start to cry.

Then you accidentally drop the peanut butter cracker and cry harder.

The light swish of your boots in the grass starts to crunch when you reach the sandy part by now-boarded-up well. You walk faster, neither wanting to be near the two-part walker inside nor in the area where apparently, Daryl dumped Merle’s ‘hard stuff,’ as he slurred to you earlier during his trauma assessment.

Soon you’re by the rocks you’d climbed the other night. You step up and sit on a lower one and sniffle another minute or so until the worst of it seems to have spilled out.

When will you get a better handle on your temper?

While you’re busy wallowing in self-pity, you notice Dale’s watch ticking and are reminded that you have to return it.

You stand.

Trudge back with your tail between your legs.

He and Andrea are still on the steps.

“I’m sorry. I let my anger get the better of me,” you tell them softly.

Dale waves you over. “Come back and sit if you like, kiddo. It’s been a long day.”

“It’s been somethin’,” you mumble. “And you aren’t a bad shot, Andrea, I was being snotty.” About an inch to your left and he’d have been a goner, you leave out.

“I’m glad I wasn’t as good a shot as I’d hoped,” she sounds ashamed to say. Her head is still hanging low when she makes a one-sided smile and taps the spot next to her. “Will you be helping with shooting practice tomorrow?”

“If that’s still on, yeah.” Shane was enlisting your help with that, which means you’ll have to act civil…ugh, why worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself. You take the watch off, hand it to Dale. “Here you go, Mr. H.”

“Ah, very good. I would hate to start losing track of the days, then we’d really be in for it. Let’s see…an hour until it’s time to wind her up.”

The breeze carries the smell of woodsmoke with it. You lean against Andrea for a moment, she leans back.

Then Shane comes into view.

When you catch his eye, you shake your head in warning in case he’s thinking about coming over and schmoozing with the others as if he didn’t just f—tomorrow will be better. Things will be better in the morning. He’ll apologize and things will be better and you’ll all have a good day and maybe Sophia will be found.

“Y/N, how about we talk later tonight?” Dale murmurs.

Did he see the face you made at Shane?

Best change the subject. “If we do, is it finally my turn to borrow that awful book I’ve heard so much about?”

“The Case of the Missing Man is not an awful book,” he chuckles back, then shrugs. “Maybe Jimmie Herron’s style isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. My Irma didn’t like his work, either.”

“Y/N, it’s really not great,” Andrea drones.

“Glenn said the same.”

“Amy had me read it so we could, um,” her gaze grows teary. She closes her eyes for a moment, then smiles and shakes her head. “‘Share the trauma.’”

You smile and shake your head, too. That sounds like Amy. “She finished it up in my tent while I was knocked out with a migraine, first thing out of her mouth to me when I woke up was how lame it was. Told me you had first dibs.”

“Then I lent it to T-Dog”

Oh, right. On the first half-week of the trek to Fort Benning, his nose was stuck in it. “He plowed on through it, didn’t he?”

“He wanted the torture to be over.”

You and she snort, Dale just chuckles again. “After you finish it, only Rick, and our young Carl—oh, and, uh your br—and Shane, they’ll be the only ones to not have done so.” He points his finger as if an idea just popped into his head. “But both Jacqui and Lori thought it was good.”

“Bless their hearts, they loved watching soaps, though, what does that tell us?” you giggle to them.

Dale lifts his hands in surrender. “See me later, troublemaker, I’ll lend you my ‘awful’ book and we can talk. I’m gonna hold you to it.” He looks at Andrea. “Young lady, will you be alright?”

“Yes. I'm just not ready to face anyone yet.”

“You know where to find me.”

She rests her arms on her knees and slouches again, stare fixed on nothing much. You go to rest your arms on your knees, too, and are immediately reminded that that particular position is a no-go for you right now.

“Y/N, after what happened with Ed, when did the feeling of wanting to hide go away?”

“Mine was an easier situation," you quietly point out. "And it wasn’t just me, Shane was the one who—" you grimace at the memory. "You were there.”

“Mm.”

To answer her question, “But I guess it wasn’t til, y’know, I faced people again that I got I didn’t have to hide. Shane's sense of 'duty' helped, too. But after I talked to Carol, saw Sophia smile at me, when I knew they were on my side, I didn’t mind so much about the rest.”

“Pretty sure everyone was on your side with that,” she mutters. “For what I just did…”

“Pretty sure even Daryl will, um, well th-that you were tryin’ to protect the group.” …oof.

She lifts her eyebrows. “You aren’t good at lying, Y/N.”

It wasn’t a lie, per se. “Objectively, you were tryin’ to protect the group.”

“I wanted to feel in-control and like I could do it.”

Oh.

She admitted that? If only your brain could come up with something heartfelt or whatever the situation called for to convey how much humility from someone so confident and self-assured means, instead of this: “I wanna be on your apocalypse survival team.”

A sigh leaves her, and she simply asks, “Just let me know how furious he is with me. I'm dreading how he’ll be when he’s up. I'm a little scared, while I’m being honest.”

“Hm?”

“Daryl.”

“You’re scared of him?”

She eyes you. “We’ve all seen how he can fly off his handle. He waved that knife at Rick and your brother, the axe at Jenner.”

Oh, right. That didn’t even consider cross your mind, that she’d be scared of his reaction to...being shot in the…head. Man, your brain is not working.

It can’t even configure a response again, now you’re just shaking your head like a confused mute.

“You don’t think I have to worry, Y/N?”

“No,” you answer truthfully. “You might would feel better if you saw him, he's probably up an eatin' dinner by now."

"I think now's too soon."

"Trust me, he’s holed up in bed now, he’s about as scary as a sleepy kitten.”

“Kittens have teeth and sharp claws,” she dryly states.

Your mind immediately hops to the exciting fact that you have yet to meet the Greene’s barn cat(s) as you stand and lead Andrea inside through the side door to get to Daryl’s room, waving to Beth reading her book as you pass.

“Beth, this is Andrea. Andrea this is Beth. She’s the one who made the pudding for Carl. She’s Mr. Greene’s youngest.”

Andrea smiles and goes in for a shake. Beth shyly waves, the returning of the handshake ending up as an awkward afterthought.

Sweet as she is, leaving her in peace is probably what she’s hoping for (the poor teenager’s home and front yard is full of wounded strangers).

And you almost make it through the full sentence before gasping in delight when you see what book she has.“We’re just checkin’ on Dar—is that a choose-your-own-adventure book??”

Him

There was this loud noise in another room, woke him for a second. Y/N’s laugh stuck out from the other sounds.

While falling back asleep, he remembered how he'd made them laugh really loud when he ripped that $20 bill that night at the CDC. How they’d belly-laughed so hard at his dumb, tipsy-ass joke had felt so damned unexpectedly good.

He’s back asleep before the amount of pain he’s in can really register.

You

“I’ll bring it over after I talk to Mr. Horvath. He’s the older man in our group, I love him to pieces, you probably saw him in his bucket hat?” you tell Beth.

Jimmy apparently has been poking fun at her reading choose-your-own-adventure books to pass the time because they’re ‘for kids,’ so, lending him The Case of the Missing Man was decided to be the best way to get back at him.

You hope y’all didn’t wake Daryl, it’d gotten a little animated for a minute. To make up for it, you tiptoe when you trek down the hall to his room, Andrea and Beth behind you.

Beth left something of hers in there before he was brought in, but she was hesitant to go in there (which you praised, teenage girls and unknown older men don’t mix). Anyway, she was hesitant because she’s a little, um, well, kinda intimidated by him.

Andrea invited her to join you two, citing “Y/N says he’s as scary as a sleepy kitten right now.”

At his door, you knock lightly and call his name. Wait for an answer, try again.

Upon listening more carefully, his snores sound through the door and let you know he’s still asleep. Slowly, slowly, you open it.

As subtly as you can, you step into room and pull the sheet that had fallen down back over his shoulder before the girls see the scarring.

Daryl stirs, then grunts something incoherent as he flinches, blinks, and tries to turn toward you.

“It’s just me,” you hush. “I was fixin’ your sheet, it’d fallen.” You tuck the sheet down over his shoulder, gently and slowly. “You’re safe in the Greene’s house. Go back to sleep, sweetheart.”

His muscles relax and he’s back to snoring before the pet name is finished slipping out of your mouth.

Still standing beside him, you watch his side rise and fall, rise and fall. Reminds you how grateful you are. He really does look so helpless and sweet right now.

You notice Beth peeking back and forth between you and him, but she quickly looks away.

Poor buddy. If the man is this tired, he’ll rest better with closed curtains. He’s big on privacy, besides. Carefully, you start to draw them shut. Andrea joins.

Once they’re all pulled closed and the room is dimmer, she puts her hand on your arm and gently pulls you back into the hall, Beth leading the way. You make sure the door doesn’t make too much noise as it shuts.

“Thanks,” Beth whispers.

“Scary as a sleepy kitten, right?” Oh, that reminds you, “Y’all don’t have a barn cat or two, do you?”

“N-not anymore.”

Aw, that’s sad. “I’m sorry, little one.”

“Oh, um—d-don’t get too close to the big, shuttered barn, okay?” she rushes to add.

Before you can both nod and tell her ‘of course,’ she then stumbles through, “There’s—it’s—the, um—it’s just not real safe!”

She looks so freaked out and nervous that you forget you’re supposed to respond.

Lucky for you, Andrea, smooth as ever, assures her “We’ll let Carl know not play around there,” and starts to chat about how she “steers clear of old barns” ever since she spotted “the biggest rat I’ve ever seen come out of one at a company retreat,” while Patricia comes downstairs hugging to her side what looks like a wedding photo.

Beth scurries away, you make eye contact with Andrea, then Patricia gets your attention.

“Sweet pea, about tonight,” she begins, hands pressed together with her fingertips toward you. “Daryl’s gonna need to be checked on—”

“—Of course. I’ll stay with him. Please do me a list of what to check for and how often?”

“Will do. Try and borrow that big watch again, you’ll need it. Prolly will do well to have somebody else, maybe Carol to help. I'll go find her. You know, there’s an old air mattress in the attic, I’ll have Jimmy fill it up. Just go grab your sleeping bag,” she tells you.

“Thank you!” You’d been hoping for a way to avoid Shane all night. Is this a gift from above or something?

A reminder of, “Don’t use your injured side to carry your sleeping bag in,” from Patricia sends you on your way outdoors to retrieve your stuff.

The air is cooling off as the sun sets. The sky is a hazy orange-pink.

“Y/N, I didn’t realize,” Andrea says, slowly walking beside you.

“Realize what?”

“You two.”

You, too? Is she talking about your shoulder, maybe? “What’d I do? Do you mean my wrapped arm?”

She peers at you, head tilted to the side. “You and Daryl,” she softly clarifies. “It was Dale who wondered first, after you had to excuse yourself.”

Me and Daryl? “What’d we do?” Perhaps she's referring to the search today? Andrea isn’t one to not speak her mind plainly, you wonder why she’s not being more succinct. She doesn't know about you having shot that guy. Dale has an idea, but he's tight-lipped about it.

“So, you and he…?” she trails off.

?

So, you start to fill her in about the search. “Before Daryl found the doll, we’d—”

—OH WAIT, now you get it!

---------------------------

---------------------------

(for those wondering, the tomahawk chop is something Georgia Braves fans do)

> Masterlist link here

and our teeny tiny taglist :D

@spenciepoo338 @its-freaking-bats​​​​ @whistlesalot​​​​ @buffy-the-assbutt-slayer​​​​  @dreamingaboutthewonderland @kwazii-kat​ @darylsmavis​​​​​  @outlanderhornet22​​​​​ @battinsonrobs @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @multiifandomhoe @writingmybeloved @boomergirl123 @iheartathena0 @moonliight-luv @suniloli

(inbox is open if you would like on or off the taglist, slowpokes. Please don’t feel bad or nervous if you don’t want to be tagged anymore,  just let me know, we’re all friends here and your comfort level is important!)  

[kimmberleeex]

Chapter 1: Happenstance

You had heard the talk around school about Eddie Munson, the resident “freak” of Hawkins High. Everyone had something to say about him. He was hard to ignore, as you had seen him in the lunchroom everyday this school year. Always going on rants and terrorizing the jock crowd that seemed to pick on him and his friends. You never really understood why people were so afraid of him.

The thought never occurred to you that he ever really noticed you, as you normally went unnoticed. You were an outsider, a new girl that wasn’t the prettiest or the shiniest thing to look at. So no one ever did. You kept to yourself mostly, which never really bothered you. You found solace in your solitude. A comfort only found in being alone. However, you often found yourself staring at Eddie and really admiring him when he wasn’t paying attention.

A soft giggle would escape your lips every time you found him focusing on something, a determined look on his face with the little tip of his tongue peeking out of his mouth. You’d watch the way he would anxiously bounce his leg and fiddle with the rings on his hands when he felt uneasy. He had such a calm and cool exterior but you could see past all of that. A few times you had seen the pain behind his eyes when no one was watching him. It would gnaw at your curiosity as to why he was so sad.

A large part of you wanted to talk to him, you imagined it countless times. But your own shyness would stop you in your tracks every time. It wasn’t until you were walking down the hall during 3rd period. Making your way back to class from the bathroom, your head down and buried in the current book you were reading. You were lost in the magical words of Tolkien and suddenly it was like you walked into a brick wall.

The book slips from your hands and onto a pair of white, well-worn Reebok sneakers. Then, you notice the ripped black jeans and the wallet chain hanging off of his hip. You gulp nervously as your eyes slowly drift up to meet the two gentle, chocolate brown pools staring at you. A pink warmth begins spreading across your cheeks almost immediately as he startles you.

“I-I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to…” you go to bend down and pick up your book off of his feet but Eddie has already bent down and grabbed the book for you. His ring studded hand grazes across yours as he hands it back to you. The touch is electrifying and sends a shiver down your spine. A warm smile is tugging at his lips.

“The Hobbit, eh?” He had an interesting look on his face. You could feel your cheeks turning a deeper shade of pink.

“Uh…yeah…have you read it? It’s my second time through…” you chew your bottom lip, a nervous habit you’ve picked up over the years. His smile is growing wider and it’s making your heartbeat go off rhythm.

“Wow, that is the single most attractive thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve never seen a chick into Tolkien.” He looks you up and down as if he’s inspecting you for the first time. You look away, unable to keep holding his gaze. Backing up a little, you suddenly feeling like you’re too close to him and it’s driving you crazy.

The smell of stale cigarettes and a slight hint of weed masked by the faint smell of some musky cologne fills your nostrils. And it’s absolutely intoxicating. He reaches out and touches your arm gently, which pulls your gaze back up to meet his.

“Sorry, I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. But I really haven’t met any girls around here that read “The Hobbit”. And I have got to say, you are absolutely breathtaking, sweetheart.” The light in his eyes shone bright and you can hear the sincerity in his voice.

The pitter patter of your heart is growing louder in your ears. You swallow hard, was this really happening right now? By now, the glowing warmth had spread to the tip of your ears and they were burning hot. You chuckle nervously and Eddie’s laugh echoes yours.

“Sorry, that was too much. I’m Eddie, King of the Freaks as the mouth breathers call me. And you are…m’lady?” He extends his hand to you, a soft blush is spreading across his freckle spattered cheeks. His smile never fades as he patiently waits for you to introduce yourself.

Your finger brushes your hair back behind your ear. Gently, you put your hand in his. It feels like a perfect fit and your heart is thudding loudly against your chest. “I’m Y/N. Newcomer and also a freak.” A grin is pulling at the corners of your mouth and Eddie laughs quietly.

“I knew it! Do you play D&D?” He tilts his head to the side.

“No, but I thought about learning how to play..” his grin grows wider.

“I could teach you!” He blurts out, his excitement super evident. His cheeks grow a deeper shade of pink.

A soft giggle escapes your lips and you cover your mouth quickly. Eddie smiles, “Now, that was just adorable…” he murmurs.

The roll of your eyes is inevitable, your teeth gently gnaw your bottom lip anxiously. “So, when would we be doing these D&D lessons?”

He smirks and crosses his arms over his chest. “Well, what are you doing after school? We can go to my house and I can give you some lessons.”

You chew your bottom lip as you mull it over. An evening spent at Eddie Munson’s? Alone? The butterflies fluttering around your stomach are undeniable. “S-sure. That sounds good. I have nothing else to do…” Wishing like hell your cheeks would quit burning in this moment.

His face is beaming with excitement. “Okay, meet me here after the final bell? I can just drive you.”

You nod your head, desperately trying not to seem as desperate as you felt. “Sounds good, Eddie..” Offering him an awkward smile before parting ways, you’re eager to get back to your class. Your mind is still reeling from that encounter.

[highladyluck]

13 books tag game, tagged by @amemoryofwot and @asha-mage (incidentally I typoed that as "amemeryofwot" which would be an excellent sideblog concept, maybe snatch that one up?)

1) Last book I read:

Mistress of the Empire by Raymond Feist & Janny Wurts (at the time I started filling this out, anyway… I've been working on this ask for several days) This whole trilogy was a delight, thanks to @sixth-light for telling me I would love Mara!

2) A book I recommend:

The Best of All Possible Worlds by Karen Lord. It's a quiet little road trip romance exploring grief & diaspora, in a setting that I can best describe as 'if Madeline L'Engle had been in charge of Star Trek worldbuilding'. (If you squint you can see analogues to humans, Vulcans, Romulans, and Orions, but the tone is reminiscent of L'Engle.) There are sequels that follow different characters but this is the first one and it works as a standalone. I feel like it has a lovely light touch on some intense subjects and I appreciate the way each chapter works as a separate story while still fitting into the whole.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

I remember staying up past my bedtime for The Monster Baru Cormorant, I think? At the very least, that's where we first get my beloved Tau-Indi, and the pacing on the climax is kinda weird, about 2/3rds in, so I think I would have read through to it without stopping. I don't know if this question is supposed to be about compellingness or pacing? Probably compellingness, I think I'm weirdly fixated on structure when I read things. But sometimes I think books you 'can't put down' are at least partially that way because there's no damn place to breathe, and I don't entirely approve.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more)

I see from literally everyone who has tagged me in this that this is one of the two free spaces for Wheel of Time, but I'll switch it up: Lifeboats by Diane Duane. It's set between Young Wizards 9 & 10 and deals with an emergency response team permanently evacuating an entire alien population from a natural disaster (RIP their moon and also consequently their planet). This novel is a huge comfort read for me and is undoubtedly the Young Wizards work I've read the most. I don't really know how to explain what it means to me… I wish I had had it when I was living and working in a foreign country.

5) A book on my TBR

A friend recommended Cahokia Jazz (in general, not to me specifically) and it sounds SO MUCH like my jam. I suspect if I can't find it at my library soon, I'll end up buying the ebook.

6) A book I’ve put down

Can't think of a recent one, but if I hadn't forced myself to finish reading it because it was a Hugo Award nominee, I would have DNF'd Project Hail Mary.

7) A book on my wish list

I wish for more Baru Cormorant but I also literally cannot imagine how Seth is going to write that next book. So like, I'm girding my loins for Baru #4 either 15 years from now or never.

8) A favourite book from childhood

When I was really little I loved the Berenstain Bear books and my mom HATED that I loved them ("they were so badly written!" - my mom the children's librarian) but she bought them for me anyway. That's love.

9) A book you would give a friend

You all need to read Middlemarch by George Eliot. I don't care what stage of life you're at, you will find something resonant in it. Read it now, and read it again in 20 years. Give it to recent high school grads. Give it as a wedding present. Take it to the beach. BUT I am specifically recommending it to the WoT contingent, because the characters are so good!

10) The most books you own by a single author

It's actually either Diane Duane or Terry Pratchett, and DD's probably winning because I don't have every Pratchett book but I do have almost every DD book including tie-in novels.

11) A nonfiction book you own

Four Lost Cities: A Secret History of the Urban Age by Annalee Newitz. I don't read a ton of nonfiction but the writing is very engaging and I think cities are neat.

12) what are you currently reading

I'm between books but I just finished The Imposition of Unnecessary Obstacles (as I am writing this part several days after question 1). I didn't like it as much as the first one, The Mimicking of Known Successes, but I think it's just a taste thing. I didn't like being in Pleiti's POV very much, her overthinking is too much like mine and it alternately stresses me out and makes me angry, because I can see the assumptions/unhelpful thought patterns but I can't fix them. Obviously, to draw that reaction from me the characters are well-defined, and I like everything else about the series, I just hope it goes back to Mossa's POV.

13) what are you planning on reading next?

WHEN WILL 'RED SIDE STORY' BY JASPER FFORDE REACH MY HOUSE??? I have been waiting like 15 years for this sequel to Shades of Grey and the entire point of preordering it was so I could have it ASAP. I could have walked into a bookstore on May 9th and walked out with it, and instead I won't get it until tomorrow. >:(

I think I am supposed to add a shelfie? The organizing principles(s) of this shelf in my bedroom are very weird…. Classics/adventure, fantasy, popular science writing? Someday I need to reshelve everything in the house according to size/favoriteness/genre/theme/vibes (in that order) but I haven’t felt like it.

I think pretty much everyone I was going to tag already got tagged, so whoever want to do it, go ahead!

[paula-in-dreamland]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @ladyaldhelm :)

1. how many works do you have on AO3? None - BUT, hope to have one on there in August or sooner :) I used to be on fanfiction.net - 9 stories still posted there.

2. what's your total AO3 word count? N/A - Although my longest story on FF is ~ 57.1k words. And I have a feeling I am going to surpass that with my current fic...

3. what fandoms do you write for? The Last Kingdom currently, may return to Twilight, previously Power Rangers, considered a few others

4. top five fics by kudos: N/A for A03, but Finding Love on FF has 147 favorites and 172 reviews.....

5. do you respond to comments? I likely will...On Fanfic, I tried to interact with people who PMed or Commented as much as possible!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't think I ever had something have an angsty ending? Just an angsty beginning/middle? Especially since I wrote my published fics at age 14/15? But I hardcore am into dragging my muses through the mud right now.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Finding Love lol. It's a very wholesome fic.

8. do you get hate on fics? I did on the first ever fic I published. The worst part was that it was on stuff that I thought you were supposed to do based on reading tons of other fics. It shook me to my core since I was FOURTEEN. Sad to say - the fic is now gone from fanfiction and my computer and it's my biggest regret :(

9. do you write smut? Yes - But I've actually never published it now that I think about it! And have not written as much as my brain is convinced?! Oh wait that was my rpg days thats why.

10. craziest crossover? No crossovers. Just really into AUs.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge!

12. have you ever had a fic translated? Either someone wanted to translate Finding Love or get it bound into real books...I cannot remember LOL.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? Nah.

14. all time favorite ship? No pls don't make me choose :( I'm going to say Rosalie and Emmett from Twilight because they were the first ones to inspire me to write my own fic.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Honestly? I have SO many Stiorra and Sigtryggr fics that are 60% plotted, but I don't know if I'll ever get to writing all of them? Unless I keep my fixation for the next 10+ years, especially with wanting to write my own stuff. Plus, maybe Finding Love the Sequel...I made a lot of sad people when I did not finish it.

16. what are your writing strengths? Dialogue. And maybe action?

17. what are your writing weaknesses? Show don't tell and being ~poetic~ and introspection? I struggle with 3rd person.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language? I love it! And I want to incorporate it into a few of my fic ideas. However, I am not sure HOW I want to do it yet - i.e. Google translate OR just "They spoke in xyz language". When done well, it can be a great plot device!

19. first fandom you wrote in? Twilight!

20. favorite fic you've written? Currently the one I am writing.

No pressure tags: @azriona and anyone else on here that's a writer!