#and respond to my request (which i've been working on and am excited to post!!! soon. eventually. 😓)

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

02/22/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys Darby's 3 cameos Jeez; Clowning/Honking (no clown pictures); PhoneInFriday in the UK; SaveOFMD Crew Events on IG; Fan Spotlight; Custom Jackets; Collages; Chxrlotte New Song: OFMD; Morale/Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;

== Rhys Darby ==

Good god, 3 Cameo's today? I hope you all enjoy dopamine-- remember to take a break in between because SHEESH. My brain overloaded real bad on #VitaminRD.

= Cameo 1: =

The latest cameo features Rhys as Murray from Flight of the Conchords Thank you @it_llpass and "The Maybe Dids", a group of FotC fans, for getting this cameo and sharing it with everyone! Rhys Sings Leggy Blonde at the end, be sure to hold onto you seat. Src: Cameo Link - Also up on the Repo in the Cameo's section

= Cameo 2: =

This cameo was put together by NDKiwi and The Giggle Bytes (and special thanks to @yronnia for keeping me in the loop, I've been waiting for this one since you mentioned it! The Giggle Bytes are a group of fans who really love Rhys and his Robots and sound effects! Thank you to everyone who was involved in getting this wonderfully whimsical video made! Src: Cameo Link

= Cameo 3: =

Thank you to the HWCC for this wonderful clowning video! Rhys scared the crap out of me in the first 6 seconds, so CW with jump scares friends. Src: Cameo

Speaking of clowning...

== Clown/Honk Alert ==

So normally I would leave this in the cast & crew section, but they're part of the honking narrative today so here we go! The very first thing today that triggered some honking was Con O'Neill posting on his IG page the Rotten Tomatoes stats (which btw I know a lot of you have been reviewing-- and it's totally working! Those numbers have gone up from the last time I looked! GREAT JOB!)

Which of course Samba, and Erroll posted in their IG Stories. Then, to add to the excitement, one of our crew-mates @soglamwow on twitter @'d Samba with our latest stats and he RESPONDED.

Annnnnd to continue the clowning, Rhys JUST SO HAPPENED to take a little hiatus from Cameo until March.

Okay so AND THEN, a sweet article from Paste was published today, and in it, Vico Ortiz talks about the SaveOFMD effort! See some of that article below!

These Thems‘ Vico Ortiz and Gretchen Wylder Talk Industry Obstacles to Making Queer Stories

If you've never seen These Thems' Please watch them here on youtube!

Now, this is all pure speculation, but the scuttlebutt around the bronzetub booze cooler is there seems to be a LOT of engagement from multiple cast members across MULTIPLE platforms SPECIFICALLY having to do with the renewal. All of that + Vico having an article published giving shout outs to the crew? AND Rhys deciding to take some time off (which could be because he's cranking out cameos like no tomorrow, or because he found out what Vianton means, we don't know) all together in one day--- FOLLOWING multiple days of BTS and increased engagement on all platforms... it seems like a perfect storm for clowning/honking.

I found this on @mytabsclosed's Twitter after writing this up, so it's definitely the TLDR; version:

I wouldn't be surprised if we get some sort of breadcrumb from Chaos Dad tomorrow, but don't quote me on that. I can clown town and hope though!

== UK Folks! ==

Feb 23 is #PhoneInFriday - Call in to B.B.C. 3 to request Gnossienne No. 5 at 6:30 am G.M.T., and B.B.C. 2 to request The Chain at 4 pm G.M.T. Those outside the U.K. can text or email! Need info on where to call/email, visit: How to Call into BBC

== Save OFMD Events on IG ==

The Save OFMD Crew has been doing a lot of fun engagement events on IG the last couple days! Yesterday was #Wrong Wednesday where folks submitted their incorrect captions for various pictures. Just a couple highlights below!

Today was #TheoryThursday! It's still going on if you're interested in joining! Just comment on their post here!

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Custom OFMD Jackets =

Tonight's new fan spotlight is @investedfandoms on Instagram! They make custom OFMD Jackets -- made to order! Check out these awesome designs!

If this is something you're interested in feel free to hit them up-- they're $200/each or if you provide your own jacket, $175 (which includes shipping). This is their only source of income at the moment so if you'd like one, this would be a great time order one and help out a fellow crew-mate!

= Collages =

More Collages for the month of February from our fabulous crew-mate @ WanderingNomad!

Day 22: #Boyfriends!!

Catch Up: Day 3: Kristian Nairn!

== Chxrlotte New Release! ==

Chxrlotte is a UK artist that gained public attention after the releease of their Good Omens song "Come With Me". She's just released a new song "Message In A Bottle" which is all about Our Flag Means Death! Thank you @libbyroseitm for sending me the deets on this! Please give it a listen! It's really lovely. "Message In A Bottle" On Spotify

== Morale / Love Notes ==

Wow friends. Today was a big one. Lots and lots of trending, lots of cameos, lots of honk honk honking. It was seriously busy. I hope some of the activity has helped raise some spirits! The cast & crew are definitely seeing our efforts and really showing us they are! Remember that when things feel down, they know we're fighting and they're behind us too! Vico's words: "It also makes me hopeful seeing how y’all are mobilizing and are incredibly earnest and passionate about seeing queer content on TV or wherever that may be. It makes me, as a producer, as a writer, as an actor, excited to know that there is a community of folks who are going to support queer content that I make and attach myself to with friends that are also queer creators, and writers, and producers, and actors, because I want to give it to y’all.”  And to end on-- words from Rhys' own mouth today in one of his cameos: "Don't Stop Clowning! Until you get arrested!"

===================

Okay lovelies. It's that time again for me to be annoyingly loving towards you. I hope you're ready! Did you know you're doing an amazing job? Like, a fucking stellar job. Whatever you're struggling with, however you're coping, you're kicking ass! You are still here with us, and I am so fucking grateful for that! I know sometimes it's really hard to give yourself self-love (I am in fact terrible at it), so I just wanna take this moment to let you know I am rooting for you! Everyone on our crew is rooting for you! You are doing your very best, and there's no one in this world who can compare to you and what you're going through. Your struggles are hard, but you are making it through because you are a strong, resilient, powerhouse of a human being! YOU are a force to be reckoned with. YOU are a kind and caring soul who puts so much good into the world. YOU are an inspiration. YOU are mind-blowingly amazeballs (that's the technical term) and you are going to do marvelous things no matter how big or how small they are. I believe in you and so does everyone on your crew, whole-heartedly. When you're ready, go shine lovelies, you deserve to shine.

====================

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd regarding gifs tonight-- The moment I saw it, I knew this was todays Darby Gif, Courtesy of @ofmd-ann, and then of course, found this lovely Taika Gif today courtesy of @agaywithcoffee that seems pretty appropriate.

[tideswept]

I was tagged by @yourfavoritefridge and am taking a page from @sendpseuds ('s) book and answering this while deeply compromised. Sober, I am not.

You have been warned!

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

62!

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

800,347! (Ooh, big round number!)

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Currently: Kingsman & Star Wars. (I really never thought I'd be in either of them but I'm glad I am.)

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

gold and pink and glittering: 498, Hartwin, E. I'm still surprised to this day how much people liked it. First smut in several years.

the lean and hungry type: 453, Obikin, E. First time getting to do alpha/beta, and written from around 11pm to 4 am and then another hour proofreading. I was mildly delirious, ngl.

offer a little salt for that wound: 463, Hartwin, E. OOH man I had this one in my head and wouldn't leave me tf alone. My plot bunnies aren't USUALLY visual, but this one was!

cold water on your tongue: 429, Obikin, E. Still surprised this one took off tbh! I had a lot of moments where the fic felt awkward to me and not worth salvaging. But I think it makes people happy, and god, I can't really ask for more than that!

somebody to lie in the dark with: 302, Obikin, E. That's the second time today I've typed something instead of someone in that title. HMM. (Sith-Wan, my darling!)

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do when I can! Have a pretty decent streak going, I think? I think I owe a really lovely commenter from like 5 days ago and nnnghh the guilt is heavy.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Potentially empty spaces, empty phrases (Obikin) depending on how you decide the ending goes! But objectively: let me stay (TimJon).

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh fuck, who are you, the cops? (me, looking at my fics in despair)

I think the honor goes to cold water on your tongue. Everything else tends to end in a bittersweet or incomplete ("to be continued") kind of way.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

Not outside of TMA. It's been absolutely lovely being in Kingsman / Obikin fandoms. I genuinely showed up here low-key scared for my life, and I've been shown nothing but kindness and support.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, and welcome to the first of the "UH IDK? [awkward shrug/hand wave]" questions because... I have no idea how to answer that. Like, what are the quantifiers here? Level of depth (NO PUN INTENDED) in how explicit it is, or what bits are rubbing against what bits, or like, if I specialize in any particular kind of smut (if there aren't pins for "I WRITE BDSM SMUT", I demand we print them) or— tldr: IDK. Vibe. The vibe kind. oh my god not vibrator vibe brain why are you doing this

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope. I've thought about fusions, though! Like, I feel a fic where Obi-Wan is a Kingsman and picks Anakin as his candidate--maybe it was Qui-Gon's dying request still, and when Obi-Wan became a knight and a seat next opened up, he reluctantly said, FINE.

(Now I'm wondering what knight Obi-Wan would be. Gawain? The original version of him, not the vulgarized mythos of later romances. Which leaves Anakin to be Agravaian, which is pretty perfect tbh. I mean he could also be Mordred since they're all brothers)

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup! Multiple times. It never stops feeling Not Okay.

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of?

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope.

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

oh fuck you are the cops.

Uh. tbh this is a really hard question until I asked myself: a 100k fic written by an amazing author: what pairing would you be more excited about? And my heart... my heart said Hartwin.

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Ahh, sadly the post-Vday canon divergence Hartwin fic. I'm told it stands on its own as is, though. So maybe that counts for something?

16.) What are your writing strengths?

I have no idea. You saw what happened during the smut question, I fell apart like a jenga tower! And that was a simple question!

Honestly though, I don't know. That I manage to carry enough vibes to be entertaining? That's pretty good.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I will not clutch the camera and shove my face into it and whisper everything in a voice ragged with despair I will not clutch th—

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Google Translate, my dearest friend. (Unless it's Spanish, I can handle that on my own.)

Granted, if I have a friend who speaks the language, you can bet I'm knocking down their door like a SWAT squad.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

UH SO FUNNY STORY. I watched IT (the TV series) when I was like, 7. Was very confused for many reasons (partly because I missed the first hour) but also i was a Weird Child, and also Not American.

But! I didn't know it was based off a book written by a dude, so one day I just... started writing the story down in a notebook when I was 8. Because I figured I liked the movie (I assumed it was a movie at the time) so much, why NOT turn it into something to read?

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

Beholding's Own. Lightning-in-a-bottle kind of situation, 10+ year break from writing, and also re-entering fandom after said 10+ year long break. It's really hard to live up to that kind of fondness.

From new fics? the devil is a gentleman. I can't help it, this Obi-Wan and Anakin are hilarious. They are so dumb and yet so smart.

I'm supposed to tag people now for this, so imagine me throwing Your Candy of Choice at @irrationalsense, @veloursdor, @kingdomvel and @howlbrooklyn like a fastball. (And anyone else who'd like to do it!)

[epivanosilon]

100 posts!

according to tumblr, this will be my 99th post on this blog, which means that the 100th will be the name breakdown for chapter 15! how exciting!!!

i just wanted to have a separate post commemorating this milestone, even if it's not actually the 100th post hehe

i was thinking about doing something special, like making my own translation and/or english translyrics for gurenge, but that would take way too long for my liking... i'll save that for a future milestone, i guess! maybe 500 or 1000 posts...? or something crazy like 10 followers, haha

speaking of followers, i hope you guys have been enjoying what i put out! or at least have been finding it interesting or educational. i like the idea of helping others out while teaching myself. kind of like a group project, except i do all the work and everyone else benefits...

...so, exactly like a group project.

hmm.

sounds like it's time for you all to start pulling your weight! /j

if any of you have any questions, comments, suggestions, or requests, feel free to send me an ask or message me! i'll do my best to respond in a timely manner. i've only made friends over the internet once or twice, but i wouldn't mind changing that! i promise it's just because i keep to myself most of the time lol

anyway, i should be getting to bed soon if i want to maintain some semblance of a healthy sleep schedule, so off i go. thanks for reading, and look forward to that 100th post! i know i am :)

<3

[soupbabe]

I saw that you were looking for requests 👁️👁️ can I request Calvin weir-fields (because I am down horribly for him) with plus size reader? Bonus point if they have a darker style

Calvin Weir-Fields with a Plus Size! Reader

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE DAY I GET A DANO REQUEST AGAIN I WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE THIS <33 there's a lil bit of a mention of alt style! Reader, but it's just scattered throughout<33

Warning: Kind of a mix of pre-Ruby and post-Ruby Calvin, my need for Possessive! Calvin won, minor mention of fatphobia but not by Calvin (it's at the very end so dw) <3

- I honestly think he's attracted to you because you stand out against everyone else in his usual circles

- Your size, your style, everything about you stood out to Calvin. It immediately made him want to know you

- Though he is a bit of an anxious loser, so he mostly just "subtly" stared at you until you asked him if he needed anything

- The talking stage was pretty rough: your confidence and spikey collars intimidated Calvin greatly, but he always found himself missing you

- Regardless if you two put on the s/o label or not, Calvin would be so clingy after work

- Every time he brushed you off when you checked in on him after office was painful, but he knew he'd lose his focus around you

- But when he can, Calvin is immediately getting into bed with you/joining you on the couch and placing his head on your thick thighs

- They're so soft, literally Calvin could lay his head on them forever, favorite part of you fr

- His second favorite part of you is your tummy but that's a completely different convo

- Head empty only the image of Calvin reading while laying on your lap while you play with his hair <3

- Waking up with Calvin is a task in of itself

- He keeps his hands around your torso, fingers kneeding into your soft sides as he begs you to stay in bed longer

- You're just so warm and comfortable to be around, he'll kiss along your shoulder and to your soft chin to convince you

- ,,,it usually works

- I can't tell if him showing you off at parties is putting his ego aside or absolutely enhancing it

- Literally he's so proud of getting a lover that looks like you that you're with him everywhere he goes, you're on his arm 24/7

- It also doesn't help his possessive nature: you're his and everybody absolutely has to know it

- Especially when you look so good in clothes hugging your curves just right, he knows people would want you and he revels in the fact that they just can't

- I also think his parents adore you

- There's no doubt that Calvin's mom and step dad are body positive, they see your body as bountiful and beautiful

- Literally I can imagine his mother finding new clothes for you to bring home, and you modeling for Calvin

- Everything given to you is brighter, loose, and sheer

- It's a bit odd at first, seeing you in anything but black, but Calvin would be lying if he said that you didn't look good

- Has him drooling fr if the clothing shows your chest and fuller stomach from underneath

- Please only wear this in private as I said Calvin is a tummy man and prefers if he can be the only one to see it

- I think the only inconvenience would be his gym rat brother, Harry

- He will say anything that's on his mind, doesn't matter if they're less than ideal and rude

- And no matter which way you respond to his usual "I'm only looking out for your health" brand fatphobia, Calvin has your back

- Whether you tell him off yourself, to which Calvin is looking at you with stars in his eyes and is ready to call him out too

- Or if you prefer to have him say something first, Calvin musters the energy to be there for you

- Everything about you is special to Calvin, so perfect, that he's actually considering to put effort into the relationship /lh /hj

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

RULES

So it's about time I finally updated my rules page. I'm going to keep this one updated as things come up that I never considered or noticed, so be sure to check back every now and then if you're unsure about something! You can also send an ask if you're uncertain about something, and I'll decide if I'm comfortable with it or not. UvU

Now, on to the rules! I will update as things come up.

1) NO NSFW OR UNDERAGE REQUESTS!!!! That means no explicit content at all or things like teenagers drinking alcohol. If the character is not canonically 21+ years old (which is the legal drinking age I grew up hearing), I am not comfortable writing those situations.

1a) Teen mom pregancies with a female!Yuu or an adult female!Yuu (aka they were already pregnant before they arrived in Twisted Wonderland ) will mainly be considered if the fluff and found family opportunities are good.

2) Fanart and fanfics are absolutely welcome! I just aodre seeing what you're all inspired to create, it makes me so happy. QvQ Whether it's a silly quick doodle or a complicated piece, I'm just happy to see everyone so excited and creative~! >w<

3) Please be patient with me when it comes to responding to asks. I have a busy life outside the internet, and writing is one of the ways I decompress when my muse wants to work with me. =w=

4) NO DRAMA. I know there's been some going around social media lately involving Twisted Wonderland (I've gotten a few messages in my inbox about it), and while I appreciate any warnings of toxic people, I do not want nor need drama. I've seen and been dragged into more than enough drama over the past decade to last a lifetime, and I'm just...exhausted. My life can already be stressful and dramatic enough with work and family shenanigans, I don't want to get caught up/dragged into drama that is going to stress me out. All I wanna do is write stories and have fun daydreaming about the things I like. Please respect my boundaries, and I'll respect yours.

5) Ortho and Cheka will always be seen and written in the platonic sense. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. >:/ (Unless it's mini!Yuu and Cheka having a cute child crush on each other, in which case that is acceptable because little kids are adorable)

6) No soliciting for commissions! I've stated this in a post back around December, but please don't do this to me or anyone else. There is more than one way to advertise your commissions like drawing fanart and posting a link to your pieces--NOT going into people's DMs like a door-to-door salesperson. Also, saying you want to draw my character(s) as fanart, but then suggesting your commission prices to me isn't "fanart" it's literally just a commission. Fanart is drawing something as a gift to the person it's intended for. (I wouldn't have said this if it wasn't something that had come up during that time...)

7) When making requests, please specify the preferred pronouns! If you don't, I'll just make the character gender-neutral by default.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head, but I will update this list as time goes on!

[strawwritesfic]

Thank you for your patience

Hey all.

I know I haven't posted anything in the way new of fics in months, and this won't change that. But I wanted to give you a very quick update and heartful thanks for sticking with me during this lull.

About two years ago, I graduated from my third round of post-graduate schooling, passed a difficult test, and was finally able to find myself a career. One year ago, I quit the work I was doing with a local freelancing firm and went entirely self-employed--which, as I'm sure you can imagine, required a lot of hustle, a lot of on-the-job learning, and a lot crying when I messed something up and was informed that the screw up entitled an entity in town to throw me in prison.

(They didn't, and they thought it was weird that I thought they would; apparently they have the power to but aren't going to enact over something as minor as my screw up.)

Needless to say, it's been difficult. There's been burnout. When I haven't been working, I needed to clean and exercise. So when I had the rare chance to do something with my free time, I rarely had the spoons to do anything more than watch some YouTube videos. I injured myself a couple years ago, and am dealing with chronic pain resulting from that injury to this day, and it tends to manifest itself when I sit at a desk for long periods of time. Last weekend, my mental health hit a pretty bad low--but a long-time friend said I could vent to her, and I did, and I am feeling much more optimistic.

I have been offered a full-time position doing what I do. The good news is that means a a salary! No more scrambling to get a paycheck when someone cancels on me! Actual medical insurance (if you couldn't tell, I'm based in the USA)! The bad news is that it's an hour long commute, at least until such a time as I can prove to a bank that I make consistent enough money that they'll give me a mortgage.

(Last October, I made about $200 total even though I was scheduled to work almost every day. That's the kind of thing I've been dealing with.)

I'm not really sure what the future is going to hold, but I'd like to get writing again. After my crash and burn on Saturday, I made myself sit down and squeeze out a couple of pages of a Spock one shot (I know it's not what's on my request list, but this Loki thing is being birthed through difficult labor, and I needed to be excited). God willing, I'll be able to get back into a little more. There are things I really want to share with you all, and things I'd love to actually get out for the people that were kind enough to ask them of me.

So from the bottom of my heart: Thank you. Thank you for following even when I haven't produced anything in a long time. Thank for showing enough passion for my work to request things. Thank you for the reblogs. Thank you for the replies asking for parts twos. Thank you for the recommendation shoutouts in posts on your blog. Although I rarely respond (because I don't want to be seen as bragging), I look at each and every one of them. When things are difficult, sometimes I'll pull out my little collection of especially kind comments, and they help me feel a little better.

Sincerely,

Straw

[bearsbeetsbeskar]

random updates

life has been, and continues to be hectic lately and I feel somewhat bad that I'm not posting on here very frequently. debating the idea of putting a queue together just because?

Also since finishing and posting chapter 4 of Joel x therapist! reader, I've been feeling very unmotivated to write in general. I know it shouldn't make me feel crappy and get me down but it does. I'm not a writer by any means and I don't give a shit about the number of notes or engagement that my writing gets, but it just feels like it takes a lot of dedicated energy to sit down and get the words out. Once the words are flowing though? no problem at all lol.

I have started working on a Frankie fic that has been rotting inside my brain for the past 3 weeks, and I'm excited about that. But again, sitting down to actually get some writing done is a challenge UGH. I feel like I have no right to complain cause I'm not working right now and I don't have lots of other stuff going on.

Amongst other life stuff, my mom has made it past her second round of chemo treatment and her third is coming up in the beginning of july. It's been really rough on her but she's taking it one day at a time and I'm trying to support her while also taking care of myself.

I did an interview for the student placement I'll be doing during my grad school program starting in September. It will be at a private therapy practice located at a farm that does equine assisted therapy which is so exciting 🙌🏽. I'll be taking on a small caseload of clients, shadowing psychologists and other mental health professionals and running equine therapy sessions while I'm there! It honestly seems too good to be true, I can't wait to start school at this point.

I also got a tattoo! My first tattoo, and I fucking love it. I'll post a picture here or maybe do a separate post for it. It's still healing but I'm so glad I got it.

I wondered what people might think if I was open to taking writing requests for drabbles or oneshots for Pedro characters? I want to write more for other beloved Pedro boys and I feel like it might be easier to get my creative juices flowing if I have a direct prompt to work with. Let me know.

And as always thank you to my fucking amazing mutuals who keep me sane on this site, I'm sorry if I don't respond to messages or disappear from time to time. I love you all more than you know, and I thank you for engaging with me at all ❤️

nicole 🌹

tattoo below

this is a not so great pic but maybe I'll post better ones later. here it is! I love it so so so incredibly much, it's exactly what I wanted. Yes, I am a scorpio lol. So much shit has happened in my life within the last 6 months that I feel like it's brought a period of transformation, trusting my intuition, and sticking true to my goals and the things that make me happy. 🦂❤️

[carolchung-eng]

Dr. Strangelove (How I learned to stop worrying and love GenAI)

OK, I tried to ignore GenAI (generative AI) because I feared the consequences of its existence (becoming obsolete or lesser valued as a software engineer or putting non-engineers out of work). But I finally decided AI is not going away so I might as well understand what it is good for. This is a high level post about my initial observations with ChatGPT (v3.5) and Large Language Models (LLMs) in general.

ChatGPT is amazing with language (Natural Language Processing - NLP). I've been testing it on a variety of tasks where the most complex was a request to organize unstructured text into a specific database table. The results were mixed (many of the terms which I wanted to parse were domain-specific and the model had not been trained in that domain). However, it can do simple text parsing (like identify book title and author pairs in a long string of text that includes information that is non-book related) much better than I would expect (even when the input data format does not follow a specific pattern).

ChatGPT v3.5 is not capable of multi-modal input/output. When I requested a rap beat in a prompt, the response was that it could not produce audio (although this is an expected feature in v4). It did produce a rather entertaining rap for me (in text), which I was rather surprised by. In future versions of GenAI (which could include other LLMs), I am excited for interacting with AI via speech and getting text output (or vice versa or other media formats).

Efficiency - When working with an LLM, I think an initial challenge will be to find the most efficient model that will help you accomplish the task at hand. My first thought is that a smaller model might be more cost-effective in terms of running tasks against the model and doing things like fine-tuning and/or pre-training the model if those are necessary.

Efficiency2 - Another cost consideration will be where the LLM is hosted. In one course I am taking, the course is partnered with AWS as a potential host. But it seems like LLM hosting/infrastructure will be a competitive space for the future.

Potential uses for software engineers (code documentation and testing software). When I did testing with GitHub copilot, I saw that when I wrote comments before writing a function, the predictions for the function logic were pretty good. When I put prompts into ChatGPT about whether it was able to write documentation for functions, it responded that this was a capability. I didn't test this out but it seems logical. For proprietary software, using an LLM for internal documentation would just require hosting the LLM privately (I believe). I'm also a bit curious about how an LLM might be used to write automated tests (or to update existing automated tests based on small/medium code changes). When I asked ChatGPT about its capabilities around unit tests and integration tests, it responded positively but I did not test this extensively. So I do not know how specific or high level its test responses would be.

I was so surprised at how well ChatGPT understands language that I started to instinctively refer to it as "you" within the prompts and it understood the "you" as referencing itself. This is a strange existence but I think that LLMs can be seen as tools to handle some of the tedious or lower priority work that are "nice to have" or time-consuming.

Resources:

ChatGPT

Generative AI with Large Language Models (Coursera by DeepLearning.AI, AWS)

[beels-burger-babe]

Beelzebub's Very Bad No Good Day

***So this is the new format in which I'll be answering requests. In my experience, actual posts get spread further than asks do, so this will hopefully help with that. ANYWAY, I am crazy excited about this request as a major Beel simp and YES I will proudly do this request! Thank you @sinnoman for blessing me with it. -B*** Summary: Beel doesn't get anything to eat one day, and it doesn't go well for anybody.

From the moment Beelzebub woke up, he knew that today was going to be a terrible day. For starters, he had apparently raided the fridge in his sleep the night before, so there was not a crumb left in the house for anyone to make breakfast with. Most of the others had gone and grabbed something from Hell's Kitchen on their way to class, but poor Beel had slept through his alarm due to the food coma his nighttime snack had put him in and had to rush to RAD. The entire school was talking about the monster that they believed had awoken beneath the school. Teachers were on edge ready to evacuate the premises for the earthquake they believed to be happening. Beel avoided eye contact, blushing as his empty stomach continued to rumble and roar throughout the day. He ended up eating a few pencils just to get it to quiet down and even that didn't have much effect. The Avatar of Gluttony nearly cried tears of relief when the lunch bell rang. But it seemed that fate was not his friend that day. He was going to order a gargantuan-sized Little Devil mango slushy, a side of Hellfire curry rice, fried shadow bat, and 108 seed salad and the main course of at least twenty shadow hog burgers with three servings of caramel shadow tart for dessert. Beel was drooling at just the thought of it. He was almost at the ordering station when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Beel growled and turned around, baring his teeth at whoever dared to disturb him.

Belphegor narrowed his eyebrows in concern. "Woah. Beel, relax. It's just me. We've got a student council meeting, and Lucifer has threatened to take away supper from whoever skips out." Beelzebub scoffed as the air around him darkened at the mention of someone taking food away from him. "I'd like to see him try." Belphie raised an eyebrow at his twin's uncharacteristically grumpy behaviour. "Are you alright, Beel?" As though to answer his question, Beel's stomach let out another loud roar, causing several students to flinch and Beel to scowl in frustration. "I'm hungry." Belphie's frown deepened. Beel was always hungry, but he didn't usually let it get to him like this. The younger twin rifled through his own bag before pulling out an obviously full paper bag. "You can have my lunch if you want. I ate a little bit of it during class and swiped a bagel from Mammon during the first period, so I'm not all that-" Before he could finish Beel ripped the bag out of Belphie's hands and devoured it, bag and all. Belphie blinked at his now empty hand and chuckled as Beel chewed. "Man, you must be starving huh?"

Beelzebub merely grunted and continued to chew before swallowing down the small meal. He glanced back at the lineup in the cafeteria and put a hand on his stomach as he thought about the lunch he should be enjoying. Belphie nudged him. "Come on, big guy. We got to get to that meeting. The sooner we get it over with, the more likely it is that we'll end early and you might be able to grab something before class starts again." Only the meeting was not short and quick like Belphie had said it might be. Diavolo wanted everyone to come up with an idea for a school fundraiser, and Lucifer was arguing with Asmodeus on what was and was not appropriate. To make matters worse, you were unable to attend as, according to Mammon, your charms professor had asked you to stay behind afterwards to discuss your progress in the class. The bickering on top of the lack of food in his stomach was giving Beel a migraine and the longer he sat there, the more irritable he had become. Eventually, it became too much and he snapped. "ENOUGH!" he bellowed, flipping the table as he stood. "No one cares about the stupid fundraiser anyway and you're just wasting all of our time arguing over something that will inevitably fall apart and cause an even bigger mess, just like it always does!" "Beelzebub! Watch your tone in front of-" "Shut it, Lucifer!" his brother's gaped at him in shock as he snarled at their elder. "I am sick and tired of you pushing us all around and punishing us when the slightest thing goes wrong just because you-" Beel poked Lucifer's chest hard enough to make him take a step back, "won't take responsibility for your own mistakes!" "Oh shit," Mammon whispered under his breath, as Lucifer's eyes narrowed and his body tensed in defence. The second-born quickly squeezed his way between the two of them and spread his arms to try and create some distance. "Okay! Tensions are high. People are upset. But this is not the place to brawl it out." he glanced over at Lucifer who looked like he was a second away from stringing him up to the ceiling. "Might I remind ya Lord Diavolo is still in the room?" Lucifer looked over at Diavolo, who appeared to be both hurt and concerned by Beelzebub's words, before sighing and fixing his composure. He gave Beel a hard look. "Obviously something is upsetting you, but we can discuss this at home. For the time being, I recommend you work on calming yourself and clearing your head." Beel just growled at him before stomping out of the student council room. He had been about to re-enter the cafeteria again when the bell rang signalling the end of lunch hour. Beelzebub felt his eye twitch before his demon form burst into existence. He let out a deafening scream as he grabbed a table and threw it across the room (students still seated on it, included). Students were yelling and scrambling like mice as the large demon rampaged through the halls. He tore the locked grate off of the serving station and grabbed the nearest server by the scruff of the collar, causing them to squeak in fear. "I'm hungry," Beel rumbled lowly as the demon trembled in his hands. "Get me something to eat now or I will not hesitate to eat you." "R-R-Right away, Beelzeb-b-bub." Beel carelessly dropped the demon, who scattered off to gather as much food as they could. He began pacing like a caged animal. Having been alerted by all the noise, his brothers and Diavolo rushed into the nearly destroyed cafeteria. Diavolo's jaw dropped. "Beelzebub, what's the meaning of all this?" Beel's famished brain didn't acknowledge Diavolo as an authority at the moment. Instead, he was yet another person trying to keep him from eating. "I need food. NOW!" Lucifer's eyes widened in realization as he whispered something to Diavolo. The prince nodded and took a step back. "I'm sure the cooks are doing all they can to get you food right away. But I need you to control yourself before I am forced to take action." Satan had his phone out and was urgently texting someone, as Belphie moved forward.

"You'll get your food shortly Beel. You just need to wai-" "I don't want to wait!!" There was a part of Beelzebub's brain that was aware he was acting like a child. But his stomach physically hurt from how empty it was. He was tired. He was starving. He didn't have the patience for pleasantries. "I've barely eaten anything all day, and people keep staring and talking about me because my stomach just will not stop growling and I'm so hungry that I can barely think straight! I hate it! But I know it won't go away unless I eat, so I NEED TO EAT!" The brothers looked at Beel in shock. They knew that he ate a lot, but they always passed it off as just another quirk that made him Beel. They didn't know it bothered him like this. They thought back on all the instances where Beel had stated that he was hungry out of nowhere, always with a distressed look on his face. Every single time they had brushed him off. Before any of them could respond, you casually walked into the war zone that was the cafeteria. "Alright Satan, what's so urgent that you needed me so badly?" The room fell quiet as everyone's attention snapped over to you and you took in the situation. It didn't take long for you to connect the dots.

You immediately began to rush over to Beelzebub; Mammon stepped forward to stop you. "Woah, MC! I don't think that's a good idea right now!"

You ignored him and continued to make your way to Beel. Seeing you, the small human that you were, made Beel realize just how reckless he had been acting. He held out his hands to stop you and took a step away. "You should listen to Mammon, MC. I-I haven't eaten all day and I-" "You haven't eaten all day?! Oh god, this is worst than I thought." Beel watched as you slid the oversized backpack that he had seen you carry around RAD with you every day off your back and begin to dump out the contents. In a second, dozens of bags of chips, candy, fruits, and other snacks spilled across the floor in front of the two of you. Beel didn't waste a single moment. He instantly began consuming the snacks, causing you to smile happily. "Wha-What?! MC?! Why the hell do you have that much food on ya?!" Mammon sputtered as he cautiously began to approach you. You shrugged. "Beel gets upset when he's hungry, and I don't like it when he's upset. So I stocked up on some of his favourite snacks a while back and always keep them on me just in case," Beel paused his eating to look up at you in awe, "He can't help that he's always hungry. It's not like he asked to be the Avatar of Gluttony." Suddenly there were a pair of arms wrapped around your waist. Lucifer, Levi, and Mammon called out your name as Beel pulled you tightly against his chest. You just grinned and hugged the friendly giant back. "Thank you," he whispered softly into your hair, his arms tightening around you just a little more. "There's nothing to thank me for." As Beel finally began to calm down, the cooks came out with platters of food and shakily laid them out around you and Beel before taking cover back into the kitchen. Seeing that the threat had passed, the other brothers began to approach as well. "You know Beel, I didn't know you had that much pent-up anger inside of you. It was terrifying!" Asmodeus chirped as he plopped down beside the two of you.

"Yeah! You were just like the antagonist in My Boyfriend Turned Into a Cannabilistic Rage Monster, And Now I Have to Stop Him From Devouring The Whole City!!!" Levi began to ramble about specific scenes from the show that matched perfectly with Beel's rampage, causing Beel to blush as he munched on a burger. Belphie sighed and elbowed Beel as he took his seat at his side. "We'll have to make sure that MC's always around you. Just in case you know?" he smiled softly, before looking at his twin with a more serious expression. "You should've told me about all that stuff you said earlier. I had no idea you felt that away about your appetite." Beel looked away uncomfortably as he took another bite of his food and avoided the question. You snuggled closer to him, to provide him with some comfort. Satan tapped his chin as he watched the group. "I'm sure we could talk with Barbatos and come up with some sort of high-protein shake or bar that would better satisfy you. That way you wouldn't have to eat as much." Lucifer glanced over at Diavolo, silently asking if it was a possibility. The prince smiled warmly. "I'll have Barabatos begin working on something right away." Forgetting all about class and the anger that had previously consumed him, Beel looked around at his family. A warm feeling blossomed in his stomach as he felt content with the rare care and affection that they were openly showing. Maybe it had something to do with the thirty burgers he had already ate, but for just a second, Beel didn't feel so hungry anymore. ***Boy that got a little angsty there for a second, but I hope this was to your liking @sinnoman! I definitely enjoyed writing this one, and I think it made me fall in love with my boy Beel even more 🥰*** TAGLIST: @vampwiire @bunna-does-stuff

[hanemiso]

Operation: Dairy For Dazai

>>>a dazai osamu x reader<<<

request: "omg i love your post about Dazai and his possibility of having lactose intolerance hahaha, i wish you could do a fanfic out from that"

a/n: um this is such a great idea??? this was so much fun to write omg i hope y'all like it! also i know dazai doesn't necessarily drink coffee with milk and sugar/creamer, but for the sake of the story he does! also sorry if the gif looks weird, i couldn't find his weird little run anywhere else.

synopsis: no one has seen dazai drink milk or consume dairy of any kind...it's up to the agency to figure out if dazai is lactose intoleralnt or not!

warnings: one swear word, dazai not being able to handle dairy

"hey atsushi, you ever notice that dazai doesn't consume dairy?"

"what do you mean, y/n?" atsushi asks, glancing up at you from the computer.

"think about it. have you ever seen dazai drink milk? eat cheese? buy ice cream?" you press on, raising your brows.

atsushi takes a second to think before responding with, "now that you mention it, no i haven't...why are you asking anyway?"

"i think dazai is lactose intolerant."

you now have atsushi's full attention as he rolls closer to your desk and furrows his brows. he looks around the room for the brunette you're talking about before turning back to you, "you think so? i don't know...maybe it's like a dietary thing."

you deadpan, "you really think the man who goes out of his way to try new attempts at committing suicide--the one who came into the office with a hallucinogenic mushroom from a random mountain--is concerned with his own nutrition?"

atsushi goes silent and nods his head in agreement.

"come on, atsushi. i mean, why would that be the one thing out of his entire diet that he'd choose to cut out?"

"that's true, i've seen the kinds of things he eats...but why is this something you're interested in?"

"because, atsushi, the thought of THE dazai osamu even having one slight weakness--and the fact that it very well may be dairy, of all things-- is amusing. you don't find it interesting? that he can survive things like bullet wounds and getting kidnapped without any problem, but a glass of milk could completely ruin him?"

atsushi was beginning to take interest in what you were talking about. you had a point, he couldn't deny that. they don't know much about dazai and his life as it is. just as it began clicking in his brain, kunikida walks over to your desk to tell you both to get back to work. at the sound of his footsteps, you turn towards him and before he can say anything at all, you ask him the same question as atsushi. kunikida has a smiliar reaction and response to atsushi, which just adds to the curiosity of dazai's possible dairy problem.

"i don't pay attention to that idiot's diet anyway, nor do i care." he says matter-of-factly.

anyone could tell that kunikida was slightly interested, just by the way he was continuing to linger by your desk as you continued talking about it with atsushi. soon enough, tanizaki had joined the conversation; then ranpo and kenji, and soon everyone in the agency other than fukuzawa. everyone was huddled around your desk, sharing memories of dazai's lack of dairy consumption. it was then decided that this theory of dazai being lactose intolerant would be put to the test when dazai returned to the office.

ranpo had come up with the idea, it wasn't too elaborate but a simple plan that could trick even the likes of dazai into drinking a glass of milk. during the discussion of dazai's dietary habits, it was also brought to everyone's attention by kunikida that it seems dazai doesn't have a high spice tolerance either. with that in mind, the plan was for the agency to have a joint dinner tonight, with curry on the menu tonight; spicy curry to be exact. dazai always flirts with you in the office, so it was your job to distract him by indulging in his pick-up lines and such. once he takes a bite and realizes it's too spicy for him, he'd try to find water to alleviate the pain, but coincidentally there is no water in sight. because of this, he'd be forced to drink the glass of milk you hand him. of course, if this didn't work, for dessert you'd give him a cup of coffee with milk and sugar (he uses non-dairy creamer in his coffee anyway).

you and kyouka set up a table to put the bowls of curry on, while atsushi and kunikida began bringing in the curry. tanizaki, naomi, and ranpo were in charge of getting the desserts to really sell the image of a nice gathering. kenji and yosano were in charge of tinkering with the water pipes to close off any possibility of access to water. this task was treated with such care, as any mission brought into the agency would be. each and every one of you were interested in learning about this side of dazai; are you going the extra mile for such a minuscule detail of someone's life? yes, but will it be amusing to find out the truth? also yes.

soon enough, dazai is spotted out the window. the truth is about to be revealed, and you are all nervous but excited.

"remember guys, act natural! operation: dairy for dazai starts now!" you exclaim quietly.

you can hear everyone take a deep breath and begin "talking" amongst themselves as dazai walks in. he stops in his tracks as he eyes the table holding all the bowls of curry and widens his eyes in surprise.

"oh? what's this?" he asks, gesturing to the table.

"y/n suggested having dinner in the agency tonight, so we got some curry and desserts." atsushi explains.

"have a bowl, dazai-kun." you smile at him as you hand him the bowl of spicy curry.

"ah, you're too nice, my belladonna!" he exclaims and grabs the bowl.

so far so good, you think.

you can feel the tension in the room as everyone waits for dazai to take a bite. the conversations carry on amongst people, but no one was truly paying attention to what was being said. the gazes of each member of the agency shifted to dazai as he raised the spoon up to his mouth. you could hear the sound of everyone in the room holding their breaths, even kunikida was sweating.

once the spoon had been placed in his mouth, everyone froze in place. you and atsushi tried to pretend to not be paying much attention to dazai, but it was so hard not to when all of a sudden he stopped chewing. you both slowly turn your head towards him and see his eyes go wide once again. he hurries to the nearest trashcan and spits out the spoonful, quickly turning and looking for a cup of water on the table.

"w-what's wrong, dazai-san?" atsushi asks, also sweating.

"h-hot! spicy curry! atsushi-kun, i need water! please!" dazai exclaims.

you run to the table and pretend to look for a cup of water before grabbing the glass of milk and hurrying towards dazai.

"sorry dazai-kun, i couldn't find any water, but i heard milk helps with the pain!" you hold out the glass of milk.

it feels like time stops as dazai sits there, breathing shallows breaths in attempts to stop the fire in his mouth, and contemplating whether he wants to try his luck with continuing to gasp for air or drinking the milk. he hates suffering, after all. in his mind, all that matters at this moment is extinguishing the flames dancing on his tongue. he grabs the glass, just as planned, and drinks a couple big gulps. everyone is now turned to him, asking if he's okay.

"i'm...fine." he says between pants.

now it was only a matter of time. the dinner continued as normal, but dazai wasn't as social as usual. he sat down with you and atsushi as you continued to talk about different missions.

"oh yeah, dazai-kun, do you remember--" you turn to look at him but realize he's staring at the ground intently as sweat beads on his face, "dazai?"

he blinks once and tries regaining his composure as he looks up at you with his usual smile, "yes, belladonna?"

"are you feeling alright?" you ask with concern laced in your voice.

"of course i am!" dazai tries to reply cheerily, but his bright tone is cut off by a rumbling in his stomach that makes his face twist.

he tries replacing his expression with a smile again, but it looks more pained as another low rumble emits from his body. at this point, everyone in the office is stealing glances. he looks back at the ground as his eyes widen yet again, and only two words are uttered before he takes off running to the bathroom:

"oh shit."

everyone stares at the door, processing what just happened. it was so silent, the only sound you could hear was dazai's rapid footsteps echoing down the hall.

"i knew it." you smirk a bit to yourself.

but your feeling of victory is brief as the horrid smell invades your nostrils. your poor co-workers get assaulted by the same stench, and you all are forced to evacuate.

operation: dairy for dazai was a success, but at what cost?

------------------------------------------

BONUS: how chuuya found out about dazai's lactose intolerance

chuuya was the only person who knew of dazai's problem with dairy, but the way he found out was purely accidental and scarred him.

the event took place when they were 17, and they were both stopping for a drink at a local cafe after a mission. the mission wasn't too bad, but it was early in the morning and chuuya wanted coffee. dazai told him it would stunt his already lacking growth, so chuuya wasn't in the greatest mood; he never was around dazai.

"i wanna sit down so you can order for me!" dazai claps his hands together.

"hey! i don't wan-" chuuya begins to protest but dazai cuts him off while walking away.

"you know what i like!"

chuuya grumbles in annoyance as he heads to the counter and orders two drinks. in his fit of anger, he accidentally ordered two coffees with milk and sugar, but failed to notice as he brought the cups to the table dazai sat at. he narrows his eyes as he sets the cup down in front of dazai and sits across from him. chuuya stares out the window to try and tune out dazai when he hears dazai ask him something quietly.

"is there...milk in this?"

chuuya scoffs and replies, "what's wrong, can't handle a bit of milk?"

he was obviously joking, but the sound that emits from dazai's body in response makes him realize it was no joke. dazai quickly stands and runs to the bathroom while chuuya sits there in disbelief, but with the hope that the rest of the day won't be ruined because of it.

that was wishful thinking though, as they frequently had to stop at public restrooms on their way home and chuuya had to deal with the rancid odor that followed dazai as closely as his own shadow.

taglist: @justmycupoftea93 @loveliestmolly @darlingimawitch @b-i-t-t-i-e-s @browneyespinkhair @silverstar22x @stupidfrogfreak @anotakugardener @jhopesstickeredcarrier @joyfulartisanstudentlamp @spacedoutcoffeebeans @puddingowo66 @kaeyapng @beomluvrr @imobsessedwithskkanditshows

[outivv]

Don't worry, I've actually only sent this ask yesterday x) hhhh I feel like I'm asking too much but!! A second part to my last request please?? Maybe with reader avoiding Diluc and the Winery since they're too fed up to make up, and Kaeya starting to feel suspicious and has a word with Diluc? Gosh I'm just so weak against those kind of angsty tropes, please indulge in my needs 😭😭

Synopsis: part 2 of my last post!

Warnings: none?

Game/ fandom: genshin impact

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

Characters: Diluc, and kaeya (platonic)

A/n: hello again! Ok first thing, I’m super relieved you weren’t waiting to long! And then second thing, I was actually really excited when I got your request! I wasn’t sure how to end the last one so this just lowkey made it super easy for me lmao. So thank your fo the request. And lastly you’re not asking too much! Again I had no clue how to end the last post so I left it on a cliff hanger :’). So I hope you enjoy the final part to this and have a wonderful day/afternoon/night!!!

It’s been about a week now since you’ve even spoken to Diluc, despite his attempts. He tried to speak to you on many occasions, but it was all in vain due to the fact that you wouldn’t even acknowledge his presence unless he was saying a heartfelt apology. Which he has not done yet.

You’ve been avoiding Diluc as well. Sleeping in one of the guest rooms at the winery, not stopping by angels share anymore, and going on more commissions to get out of town. Since you’ve been avoiding angels share now, and Diluc a mood, which was more cold and sour than usual. A specific cyro user became a bit suspicious.

Kaeya has noticed your sudden absence at the bar, and not to mention the whole tension in the bar due to the bartender being colder than usual. Diluc would typically work at angels share late at night to give you your space. Though he knew that it wouldn’t make a difference.

Kaeya caught on quickly, and decided to take action. As much as he didn’t like Diluc, he hated the bar being tense and not as lively as it usually is even more. And he missed your important conversations about the drama in mondstadt (kaeya talks shit about people in mondstadt don’t even try to deny it.)

So once the bar was empty leaving himself and the moody redhead he spoke up. “So, where’s y/n been recently? Haven’t seen them around mondstadt at all.” Kaeya said his hand wrapped around a bottle of wine.

Diluc sighed at the question, and shot kaeya a cold glare. Though he remained unfazed and only asked more questions “did something happen between you two? Are are they just busy. I’ve been missing some company recently.” He said with a smile.

That only pissed Diluc off. Even when he’s not trying and is genuinely concerned, Kaeya can still make Diluc want to kick out of the bar. “...both.” Diluc said shortly. Kaeya was surprised that his brother actually responded with an honest answer, and not brushing him off like he usually does.

“Oh? And why would that be.” Kaeya said now intrigued by his brother’s honesty. Diluc only crossed his arms on the counter in front of him and kaeya and sighed. “Being all brooding again huh?” Kaeya said noticing his brothers mood.

Diluc glared at him a second time for the night, and said “I don’t know... I got... upset with them and... why am I talking about this. Especially with you.” Kaeya only shrugged and stated “well desperate times call for desperate measures. So why not vent a little bit to me. Who else are you gonna talk to? The maids? Jean? Y/n?” Kaeya has a fair point. Diluc pondered kaeyas proposal, and after about a minute or so told him everything.

The cyro user only stared at his brother I disbelief, for he knew Diluc was easy to make mad but he didn’t know he had that big of a temper. “Wow... I... I don’t even know what to say.” Kaeya said shock apparent on his face “I mean... I had a suspicion you were in a relationship but... Jesus. Ok well I can tell you that I have no intentions of taking y/n from you I promise. But wow...”

Diluc grumbled at his brothers response and said “listen I know it’s bad but... I just...” Diluc sighed once more and looked away from Kaeya, ashamed. For he knew what he did was wrong but couldn’t bring himself to apologize. “Diluc. You need to apologize. And I get it you hate me so you’re probably not gonna listen to me but that was pretty shitty what you did.” Kaeya said, his words full of truth and worry.

Kaeya cared for you of corse and a part of him deep down cared for Diluc, so he wanted to help but he also know that he couldn’t make either of you change your mind. Especially you, plus kaeya agreed with you. Kaeya’s words hit Diluc deep as he finally felt ashamed and guilty for what he had said. Odd that it took Kaeya telling him to man up and apologize instead of you ignoring him for a week to get it though his head.

After ushering kaeya out the door so he could close up the bar, he rushed home hoping that you weren’t asleep yet. And that you were home. He opened the door to the door to see the fire lit and a figure in a chair, hurriedly writing something in a book. ‘Shit shit shit shit.’ He thought as he identified the figure as you. His heart racing yet he appeared calm.

You paid him no attention as you continued to write till your heats content. “Y/n?” He said approaching you. It was no surprise to him when you don’t reply. “I wanted to apologize. For what I said... and did.” He said. And once he finished the fast writing stopped. As you processed what he said. An unknown anxiety case over you.

‘Was he really sorry?’ ‘Why is this so sudden.’ ‘What is he up to. What does he want. He wouldn’t apologize if he didn’t want something.’ Were all thoughts that clouded your mind, until you felt a hand on your thigh seeing Diluc kneeled down in front of you so he was a bit closer to eye level.

“I know you’re probably still mad, and you have a right to be but just know that I truly am sorry.” He said. You wondered how long it took him to come up with the right words. Because that was all you wanted to hear from him. You sat up straight and said, “thank you.” Before standing up. Diluc stood up on instinct and brought you into a warm hug. You missed him, you missed his warmth, his sweet and soft touches. And now you were finally happy back in his arms.

[icypantherwrites]

Just a quick request for some advice, I've noticed you seem to be very good at promoting your works, requesting feedback and actually getting some, and reposting on Tumblr and such. Now admittedly, you are an awesome author and I pretty much love everything you write, but I have to think your promotion abilities are part of what brings you hits, kudos, likes, and feedback. Do you have any advice on the best ways to promote my fanfiction, build a fanbase and short of begging, get more comments?

Self-promotion and marketing definitely are a large part of my fanbase. I’ve seen it go both ways; amazing writers and fics that don’t have much attention and not-so-great ones that have huge followings because of social media presence of the author. So while having quality stories is still a large part of it, so too is marketing.

My background is not actually in marketing but journalism, but I did run a number of social media pages and have always been a very big people-person and engager, which I’ve applied to pretty much all aspects of my life. One of my favorite slogans I’ve learned from retail (and marketing) is you can’t sell what’s not out. i.e., if you don’t present your product you can’t expect to have any customers (or in this case readers).

In my case, I’m a very prolific author, meaning I have a lot of stories under my name and I’ve been fortunate that a couple of those have become bigger name ones in this fandom for extra exposure. The more you have, obviously the more you will “sell” and therefore, generally, the more exposure you’ll get and then comments (comments though are a fickle beast and it really really varies). 

I’m borrowing some of the advice from a previous post (you can always search my blog with “#writing advice” for more things) but these would be a couple of strategies I would recommend you try out :) Not all of them may be applicable to you either, as all authors write at different paces and volumes and have different time constraints, but maybe something in here will help ;) 

1. Have an update schedule! This one is really important. Whether that means you pre-write the entire fic or you buckle down and commit to a regular posting (which is how Color was for me for the first couple months until I pre-wrote enough to kick back and relax a bit xD) be it weekly or bi weekly or every two weeks (the other bi weekly? Such a weird word) you do that.

When you get people on a schedule and they are more likely to come back and comment with something other than the dreaded “update soon!” because they know you are going to update soon and when exactly that is. Give readers something to plan and look forward to, just like a favorite TV show that airs weekly.

2. Respond to comments. Whether you write giant-ass paragraph responses or even a simple “thank you ♥” it goes a long way. I know I always am more inclined to really keep up on a fic where the author has shown to appreciate their readers (although if I read your fic and like it I will comment regardless ♥). I know for me right now I have stopped doing this as it just got... draining for me, to respond in detail and never see those readers again and it felt hurtful to me. But I still make a point to say thank you in the author’s notes and if anyone has a question I do try to answer that too.

3. Read other authors’ works you enjoy but do not self-promote. Please don’t do that. I hate it when I see that and it makes me even less inclined to check out a fic (I’m already very picky with what I read and don’t read much at all). By all means comment on the fic and be like “I headcanon Keith is a good cook too!” because those personal details are lovely and maybe that’ll inspire that other author to click on your profile to see if you’ve got a fic with such a theme to go read.

But otherwise, keep your comments about their fic (or your reaction to it) and show your excitement and passion for that fic. Bookmark too (and Ao3 lets you add comments; you can bet if I see a nice comment on a bookmark tag I’m clicking on that author to see a; what else they’ve bookmarked and b; if they’ve written anything). Well written and passionate comments tell a lot about a person and if they can write a nice review they likely can write a nice fic and could be worth an extra click to see their profile. That is indeed how I’ve found several authors and fics I now read :)

4. Chapter length. This I have noticed over time but shorter chapters (for me around 3k-4k) tend to get more comments than longer ones because people have “more time” upon finishing to leave a comment. It doesn’t always work but it is something I’ve witnessed on more than one occasion. That said, don’t write a chapter of only 1k words and think they’ll pour in because it’s short. Leading on to…

5. Whatever your chapter is, make sure it has content that people will want to respond to. Not every chapter has to have explosions and action and intense heart-to-hearts, but every chapter should have something memorable. Filler chapters are unavoidable, especially in longer fics, but do what you can to make them not quite so “blah” and give them some heart.

6. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, meaning write multiple things (although perhaps not as much as me ^^;). Having a mix of a longer running chapter fic (for those “episodes” back in bullet point one) to keep people coming back and having a few shorter fics (be one-shots, two-shots, or shorter chaptered fics) to draw in new people and help you out when you get stuck on your other fic is invaluable. I definitely expanded my audience and brought in new readers that gave me little boosts of support when I started publishing one-shots semi-regularly. 

7. Don’t be afraid to self-promote on your blog. Reblog your works, pull out snippets to share, reblog those too if you don’t get many notes. I don’t really get how Tumblr’s tag system works, but tag your first few tags with the biggest ones that those browsing might stumble across. Ao3 does let you link to your Tumblr so long as you aren’t advertising commissions or patreon or the like in said blurb so make sure you link to your tumblr too to get cross-traffic.

8. Post sneak content on your blog; previews and snippets. Get people excited about the work before you post it. 

9. I don’t know how reasonable this is for most, but holding little games or contests can really up the engagement. Starting out, doing something like a bingo card prompt event could be one to consider; the “prize” is writing the prompt which gets you both more content, therefore more eyeballs on said content, and hopefully a very grateful fan who will leave you a nice comment and reblog it for their page. 

10. I like ending on this number. Um, oh, okay! This is both great for writing experience, content and engagement! If you see a piece of fanart you like that you feel compelled to write a bit for, do so and reblog it! Anyone who clicks on that art will see your reblog of it and maybe, maybe, the original artist will reblog your selection too! Not just artists either, but there are lots of “prompt” type posts I see that you could do that for as well. 

AO3 | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Discord

[iadmitdefeat]

🦔🐧

Guess what I did last week? I bought socks with HEDGEHOGS ROASTING MARSHMALLOWS on them AND socks of PENGUINS SKIING. HOW AMAZING IS THAT!!!     

Anyway, well that's the last time I tell anyone anything about animal anons plans, otherwise they will be spoiled and ruined by my friends! Oh well, it's all in good fun (and also forced me to keep my commitment of posting tonight despite being depressed that Jurgen got sent home...#gbbospoilers)!

Well as many people have predicted correctly, I passed the Bar! Hallelujah! I was sworn in as an attorney this week so I am officially an esq! I also am scheduled to received my dolly booster shot next week and earlier this month I started a new (not 80 hours a week) job! So I have had a fabulous month and have many things to be thankful for including my epic sock purchase! Which is perfect timing for the holiday ahead! So I wanna know what you are thankful for this year? I know it's been a tough year for so many so it can be as small or as large as you can think!

I'm so excited to learn more about everyone's year and what you're thankful for! Remember to tag animal anon (if you so desire) because I love scrolling through all your amazing responses! And since it was requested of course I LOVE atwtmvtv and the short film! My favorite vault song is IBYTAM because I love LOVE LOVE CS (please everyone go watch his performance with Jhud from the CMAs, it is mind-blowing)!

And remember, animal anon thinks you are all beautiful talented gorgeous people who are all killing it at life! ❤

ANIMAL ANON????? HELLO????? I'm shooketh.

I would kill for skiing penguins socks! I don't have any penguin socks in my collection, time to change that (even tho i do not need any more socks my sock drawer is overflowing).

Congratulations on passing the exam and on finding a good job! God, 80 hours a week is crazy, hopefully this one will treat you better.

What am I thankful for, hmmmm. Definetely my new job, I signed a two year contract last moth after 2 months of trial and I'm so happy they want me to work here! It's not a dream job (my dream career path is dead and gone) but it pays well, i work at home and my manager is really nice (contary to the bitch from my prevoius job).

That's the main thing I think, this year is not the best but definetely better then 2020. I also made some sick sock purchases this year, including one pair with embroidered hatching chicks 🐣

Red TV plays in my head 24/7 even when i'm not listening to it, especially the atwtmvtv outro. Taylor is sick for this.

I need to give him a listen, I've heard about him before but ibytam is the first song i've heard him in. He has a really nice voice!

Thank you for your message Animal Anon! And sorry if i responded to it super late!!!!

[rufusdawes]

Please Excuse Me

I had my day in court earlier this week. After being on the electoral role for several years, I finally had my summons to sit on a jury. In a town of only low five figured eligible jurors, it had seemed a long time coming. I have friends that have been called up within weeks of arriving and amending their voting registration but every time I checked the mail box, it was more often that not another sodding letter for pervious occupants. I have sent well over a hundred return to sender, not at this address messages scrawled across envelopes back to the post office. It's reached the point that I keep thinking to google whether I can legally just start binning their mail. Maybe, I'll do that once I've finished writing this. Anyway, one day in early August a letter from the Sheriff's Office arrived addressed to me, and not one of the half dozen muppets who are too lazy to tell the banks they've moved, informing me of my requirement to attend the Supreme Court 'on the 27th day of September 2021, at 8:45 oclock in the forenoon'. 'In the forenoon', how quaint, how exciting!

A formal letter with my name across the top and one not requiring me to get out the credit card, and a pink slip to be returned to the Sheriff saying yes or no. We have a Sheriff? Do they have a badge the shape of a star, spurred boots perhaps? Is their horse tied up to the outside of the Court, or maybe Bojangles the Saloon Bar on Todd Street? Either way, I don't think it's someone I want to mess with. If I say no, will I be called upon to take time out of my day for a duel in the Mall at noon? I don't want a midday stand-off, that's when I take my lunch. Ah no, punishable by a fine it seems, not a duel. Even so, I responded in the affirmative; yes, I am indeed available on the 27th and understand that I may be called to serve on a jury of a Supreme Court case running then or anytime up to four to six weeks later. No worries at all Boss.

I pinned the summons to the fridge so I wouldn't forget and popped the date into my work calendar so I could arrange bush trips around it. I informed my manager. I went to work and carried on working away a lot. This intensified after I applied for and accepted a role with another agency which meant suddenly I had to get sh!t done before my last day of the 8th October. I was away on one trip until the 24th September, a Friday and the last working day before my summons.

The four to six week period was now covering my final two weeks of my current employ, and then the beginning of a new role 3000 kilometres away from all my future colleagues who work out of Perth. I couldn't afford to do my civic duty. The next two weeks critical to ensuring that the three ranger groups I work with have ongoing work plans and that I have written handover documents despite not being directly replaced. Instead, each group will soon be getting dedicated Ranger Co-ordinators but not until weeks or even months after I've left. My next two weeks were promising to be busy especially having been out bush working with these groups the previous weeks. I needed to be excused.

Over a coffee with a friend the day before, it was mentioned to me that you can indeed get out of it if you successfully plead your case. Well then, tomorrow morning that is what I shall do. I walked up to the Supreme Court at 8:30 in the forenoon, a full fifteen minutes before expected so as to appear polite. The security officer at the door asked if I was there due to a jury summons. 'Why yes kind Sir, please may I enter' were the words hidden behind my nodding. "Did you call the number on the letter? You're due here Wednesday now." What number, what letter? Turns out on the formal letter, long since buried under a pile of other people's mail include the instructions to call an 1800 number before turning up on Monday which informed us potential jurors that we're not required until Wednesday.

This is disappointing since I was still hoping to get to Finke for work before my notice period was up. On the other hand, our HR department is on the top floor of this building, so I might be able to get them to write me a letter supporting my service deferral. They could, and since I now knew a little more, I was also able to write a Statutory Declaration and be far better armed for Wednesday morning.

When that day arrived, I had both documents and could not wait to hand them over to the mystery Sheriff. Having passed through security, I was instructed to take the stairs up to the next floor. There a lady behind a desk asked for the pink slip with my jury ID number on it. I handed it over and asked who I should show my requests for deferral to. "You'll need to ask the Judge for permission so best keep hold of them and head in."

In meant in to the public gallery to take one of the hundred or more seats that face the raised rostrum of the Judge's seat, under the seal of the Commonwealth of Australia. To the left, a witness box and an area where the defendant sits. To the right, the jury seats and in front, the defence and prosecution desks. Slowly, the other seats fill. Sometime after 9am, and with several dozen potential jurors seated we are informed of our instructions. We are led through the mechanics of a courtroom and what to expect, how jurors will be selected by drawing our numbers out of a tombola. How, should we be selected for this case, we can expect to serve for a couple of days. If not, that we should return for the next case to find out whether our number is up. And again after for four to six weeks. Unless we plead a case not to serve to the Judge from the witness box. Then we all stand up as the Judge enters the room.

Once he's seated, we sit and the morning begins in earnest. First the two charges against the defendant are read out, the not guilty plea to both is heard, the names of the witnesses who will take the stand as well as some other instructions are given before the Judge calls on those who think they have just cause not to participate. I line up.

I'm fifth in a line of eight. The first is excused from this case on account of being a good friend of the defendant. The next three excused from either the case or the full four to six weeks depending on their circumstances. My turn.

"Do you want the religious pledge or the promise" I'm asked by one of the Court attendants.

"The promise" I reply.

She then recites a few lines, something about the Queen and telling the truth and asks me to assert 'I promise' at the end, which I do before taking my seat in the witness box. This is somewhat unnerving. To my right is the defendant who has been sitting through thirty odd minutes of pre-trial jargon still innocent of their crimes until proven otherwise. Here I am, asking Sir if I can be excused from my civic duty because I'm a little bit busy at work.

The Judge asks my name and I lean forward towards the microphone.

"It's Hodgetts". Am I supposed to say Sir? Maybe it's Your Honour. Instead, I go with neither.

"Mr Hodgetts do you wish to excuse yourself from this case or your full civic duty?"

"Um yeah all of it I uh got a new job and um since I got my summons and said yes er things have changed and um I have a letter and er I wrote a Stat Dec so um I'd like to..."

"Show me the letters"

One of the Court officials takes them from me and hands them to the Judge. He scans them both before handing them back.

Fortunately, my mumbling and supporting documents as well as the benevolence of the Judge saw my deferral successful and I will be returning most likely early next year to have my number in a tombola for the selection lottery to be whittled down to twelve. I may be called to be one of them, I may not but until then I'm free to finish my job without risking being tied up in a Courtroom for days or weeks depending on the next case. This particular day in Court, a successful one. I do wonder though whether the same could be said for the defendant.

[frivery]

I'm pretty sure I've written this piece before but it got lost in the thousands of posts and reblogs on my main blog so we re-writing it for her birthday prompt! Spoilers for later in the main-story timeline, if you care about that kind of thing!

Phatom's 5th birthday was on the 27th of April!

POV of Phatom, supporting role of Me'toxen. This piece may be rewritten later on to be POV of Me'toxen but for now he gets to keep his secrets. This piece will contain heavy mentions of death.

"I am so so sorry." the tear-soaked sob from her apprentice was on the edge of her fading focus, the gem-ill pearlcatcher blinking open her tired eyes to look up at the stricken elf. He was so blurry, his hands a blotty, bruised, mess that he was holding to his face to try to keep some amount of composure through his crying.

"Sssssh, it's okay." she breathed, voice low and strange in her throat. A poison concocted by the resident poison maker, Lerian, had been given to her. The gem-bound illness she had been suffering for decades had spread to the point where it was excruciating to even take care of herself much less the Graves she was meant to look after. She had requested help, assistance, in speeding along her death before she became a living statue incapable of moving at all. Alistair had protested vehemently, voice becoming hoarse with the amount of his arguments, as had Enipeus the elf that was drenched in his own tears now. Brigan, though, the one who she had once been on the council with, who she had worked side-by-side with to raise the empire from the dirt when it was founded... he had agreed to help her. Had looked at her with endless dark purple eyes and asked her what she wanted help with. He had been the one to give her the poison that Lerian had made for the occasion, stirred it into a warm tea like he would have had she been visiting him in his study.

The room was warm, bathed in the flickering flames of the fireplace's light and Phatom was draped over a soft fainting couch as the poison took its effect. She wasn't entirely sure who all was here to keep her company, she knew Enipeus was though and really that's all she could want. In some part of her hazing mind she could still remember when she had first seen him. Staring down at the sickly elf child from the top of the tall gates of the Graveyard and warning him away. She could remember when he snuck in later, when they watched the sunrise together, the spirits there more content than they had been in what felt like a lifetime. At some point, being in her gnome form had become uncomfortable, almost painfully so, so now the sickly woman was in her dragon form. Waiting.

She opened her heavy eyes again as a gentle hand took her much larger clawed one, Alistair, beautiful red eyes searching hers with a mix of despair and other conflicted feelings.

"I'm going to miss you.... so much." the elf's voice was wavering, the blond shaking his head and blinking the tears out of his eyes as he tried to be brave.

"You will be okay, death is not such a bad thing." she had worked with the dead here since before the founders had even found this place. Sometimes eternal rest was the best thing one could hope for.

"I... I love you." Alistair's voice splintered and cracked like glass, the hands he was holding her clawed paw in shaking. Phatom relaxed into the fabric of the couch she was on, closing her eyes.

"I love you, too." she responded. The last sensation she felt was warmth, was peace, was.... the vast expanse of nothing.

---

Burning, burning, burning, like being stabbed and set on fire all over. Pricks of mind-ending pain rippling across everything, a hot-cold sensation striking through her core as it felt like the air of the tundras was forced down her scorched throat and into her hollowed-out lungs. Carvings inside, places where the cold felt like it was stripping away the material from the bones. She didn't know if she was screaming but it felt like she should. Another powerful gust of ice-cold across the raw of her insides, her skin feeling like it was burning hot while her insides felt frozen, forcing a breath into once still lungs.

Phatom gasped, choking on the air that her once dead form had begun to breathe. Wheezing, attempting to empty the pain from deep in her lungs as her skin continued to char. It felt endless, horrid, tortuous, and while her mind could focus on nothing she could help but internally cry out the question of what she had done to deserve this.

A voice in the mess of sensation, but the pearlcatcher couldn't hear it through the pained fog, continuing to both gasp for more air and to attempt to suffocate out the smoldering in her lungs. Was she being burned? Incinerated? She had heard that, eventually, you wouldn't be able to feel it anymore but this... all she could do was suffer. Another strong gust of icy wind... no, of magic. Of pure, condensed, mana being poured over her skin, into her every pore. It was too much, too fast, too many sensations all at once. She wasn't aware of the fact she had passed out, her mind cutting off like an overheated processor and body dropping limply to the cold surface she had been placed on.

-

Waking up was much softer this time, a damp sensation testing her skin but the pain was negligible when compared to before. A dull throbbing, a slight stingy of her skin, breath slow and steadier now but still stammering through teeth. Steeling herself to the ache in her bones, the woman reluctantly opened her eyes. Thankfully, it was rather dark so her headache was not compounded by light glaring into her sensitive eyes. Before, she was fairly certain she had been laid on her back but now she was curled up onto her side like one might when sleeping, hands relaxed into the fluffy cushion she had been laid on. She narrowed her blurry vision, weakly sitting up on the plush surface. Her body felt incredibly heavy, head down for several moments as she pulled together the strength to look around. Blinking as she looked up, the woman found herself face to face with an orange-haired man. An elf, with wide eyes and mouth agape in surprise. He was kneeling like one might before an altar, face sleek and young.

"You.... you're awake." the elf breathed, voice low. There was a certain quality in the way he was looking at her, something almost like devotion, that confused her. She wasn't sure what was going on, her mind empty in a way that felt unnatural.

"So I am." she responded, voice deep and silky. While she had no previous things to base it on some part of her felt like the voice didn't quite belong to her. "Who are you?" the question was followed by the woman lifting her tired hand from the soft fabric and reaching out to the elf's face. The ginger opening his mouth slightly, though she couldn't tell if it had been to respond or out of surprise. Some part of her needed to reach out, to touch, to make sure he was real. The edge of one of her... unfamiliar fingers brushed across the side of his cheek. A connection, instant and strong, flowed through her like a flood rushing around a rock, a visible ripple of physical mana crossing the elf's form.

She retracted her hand immediately, but it was too late to take it back. The being kneeling before her blinked eyes up at her from where he sat, physically manifested mana pulling from his eyes like water in a place without gravity. Markings that hadn't been there before etched into his skin, even his hair a mess of short ginger curls now flowed like he was underwater.

Gasps filled the room, causing her to look around the room again. Many people, none of which she knew in any way, were in the squared room with them. She seemed to be on a platform on the far side of the room, raised up with a set of circular stairs with an altar in the middle that she had been laid on, a large low area filled the middle of the fair-sized stone room before stairs reached to walls at the edge. These stairs that led to nowhere were filled with people dressed in black garb, something that caused her to wince and shudder.

"The Goddess has blessed our Priest for our devotion!" one of the people cried, joy and, revelation on her voice that sounded close to tears. Goddess? Is that what she was? That didn't feel correct. She blinked at the crowd, a loud noise of many voices speaking at once in excitement raising in the room. The Goddess turned her gaze down to the Priest, his magic-lit eyes were filled with a look that might be... honor? Worship?

"I... never thought I'd see you rise from your slumber, they said it would happen but I didn't believe them, and now...I could never have believed in a hundred centuries that you would bless me of all people. Of all believers." his voice was still so soft, and light, gentle like touching the surface of calm water. His eyes, now a yellow that bled orange liquid-like flame into the air in wisps and tendrils, dipped down to his feet before darting up to her again. "I do not deserve this honor, but I swear that we will take care of you. We will not betray your trust." she didn't know what he was talking about but he said these words with such conviction, with such powerful devotion, that she didn't doubt that he meant them.

"And what may I call the priest who kneels before me?" she asked, shifting her feet under her and slowly standing from the altar she had been placed on. The half-elf remained kneeling where he was, closing his eyes and whispering soft words under his breath before looking up at her.

"The Goddess may call me anything she likes, but her followers call me Me'toxen."

"Me'toxen." she repeated, testing the name on her tongue. The ginger's eyes sparked at the sound, dropping to the ground to hide whatever look had crossed his features. "That will do just fine. Am I to have a name or am I merely the Goddess?" Me'toxen slowly, carefully, got to his feet. If he hadn't been kneeling at the bottom of the staircase he would be standing much taller than her, a little over a foot in difference, but now at the bottom of the staircase it was minimal.

"She can go by whatever she desires, she is the Goddess after all." the half-elf responded, eyes glancing over her face before dropping to his feet and staying there.

"Did I go by a name before?" she wasn't sure what she meant by 'before' but the word spilled out.

"I... do not know it, if she did. I am sorry, Goddess." she could feel the shame, guilt, rolling off of him in waves without him even having to look up at her. Eyes plastered to the floor.

"I see, I am..... Phatom. Now, Priest, I would like to see what is beyond this room."

"Yes, of course, I would be honored to fulfill her every wish."

[19agbrown]

Returned Part 1

Series: Returned

Supernatural fan-fic

Chapter: 1

Pairing(s): Dean x Cas(eventually)

Warnings: language, violence, mention of child abuse, sibling murder, some deancas fluff and angst, hinted deancas smut(nothing too bad, but I thought I should mention it anyway), dean nightmare, and let me know if there is something I should've put but didn't.

Note: This is my way of celebrating my blog hitting 200 FOLLOWERS. I'm very excited about this, and I've had this idea for a while, so I figured that I'd write it for my 200 celebration, but I'm delighted to say that that came far sooner than I expected. I just wanted to say thank you SO much for following me! And please let me know in the comments how you feel about chapter 1 of "Returned". If you want tagged for further chapters, let me know, and I'll see if I can figure out how to work the tags. If you have any suggestions for further chapters, let me know, and ill see what I can do to put it in! Once again, thank you all so much for following me! Chapter 2 will be posted soon!

(Dream in italics)

At 11:32pm, a black 1967 Chevy Impala pulled into the garage of an old Men of Letters bunker, carrying 5 weary passengers. The driver, a tall man with startling green eyes, sighed upon entering. "Home sweet home." This man, was Dean Winchester. And the other 4 passengers, of course, were; Sam and Mary Winchester, Castiel the Angel, and Jack Kline the Nephilim. The very odd family had just returned from a fairly tough Werewolf hunt.

Bruised, bleeding, and just plain exhausted, the family exited the car, and entered the seemingly endless hallway that would deliver them to the Bunker proper. "Who wants pancakes?" Mary asked with a falsely cheerful smile. "I do!" Jack replied almost at once. Mary gave Jack a tired chuckle and a fond smile. Sam said as he dropped the dark blue duffle bag onto the war room table, "I'm sure Dean does too." Dean shook his head, and said through a yawn, "No, I'm good." Sam frowned at Dean, and laughed when Castiel put a hand to Dean's forehead. Blushing a deep shade of pink, Dean spluttered, "C-Cas, what exactly are you doing?" Castiel squinted at Dean, and tilted his head to the side as he replied, "I am checking your temperature." 

Ignoring Sam's extremely loud laughter, Dean asked, "And why are you doing that?" Dropping his hand, Castiel replied, "You turned down food, so I thought you might be sick." At this, Sam laughed so hard that Dean was surprised that he wasn't running for a bathroom. Dean's blush deepened from pink to red, as he said, "No Cas, I'm not sick, I'm just tired. I just need to sleep a little. Get my 4 hours in, ya know?" Castiel frowned, and said, "No, I do not. But I will take your word for it." Dean cleared his throat, and said, "Alright then. I'm going to bed. Unless... you would like to come with me?"

Dean said this with a slight hopefulness that did not escape the attention of Mary and Sam, but Castiel noticed nothing. In his typical confused fashion, Castiel took Dean's offer to be a joke. "So, this is sarcasm." He thought. Not knowing how to respond to what he took to be just Dean's sense of humor, Castiel treated it as a serious request. "No thank you, Dean. I will just go and read some lore in the library."

With sadness that was obvious to everyone in the room, Dean nodded, and turned on his heel. Thinking hopefully that Dean had not been just joking, Castiel reached his hand out to stop him from leaving. But Dean was already slipping moodily through the doorway, and into the winding hallway that lead to Dean's room.

Dean sped quickly to his room, cursing his own stupidity the entire way. Slamming the door behind him, Dean went in. Not bothering to even undress, Dean dropped down to his bed, and sprawled himself out on top of the covers. Dean thought that, as usual, he would be kept up by thoughts of Cas, but much to his surprise, his eye lids began to droop as soon as his head touched the pillow.

The few feet between them might as well have been miles. Dean started as his sweeping gaze caught bright blue eyes, blinking slowly in the dim light. "Hello Dean." The gravelly voice behind the eyes that he so loved spoke. "C-Cas?" Dean's voice echoed in the small space. Suddenly Cas was under him, and smiling a shy, but perfect smile.

Dean couldn't believe that this was happening. Cas was here, and Cas was his. He HAD to be dreaming. It was with a pang that he realized he really was dreaming. If this were real, Cas would never be here, or be his.

But, Dean decided to make the most of the most beautiful person he had ever seen, laying completely naked beneath him. Even if it WAS only a dream.

Cas gave of a cute little gasp as Dean's mouth crashed against his. Dean shuddered as Cas' long fingers dug into his back. "C-Cas?" Dean said shyly. Castiel ran his fingers through Dean's hair as he replied softly. "Yes Dean?" Dean gulped before saying the one thing that he had wanted to tell the real Cas for years.

"I love you." Cas offered Dean a shy smile and Dean studied his face as a hint of pink lit it up. "I love you too Dean." Dean sighed in relief. Dean's sigh turned into a growl as Cas ran his hand down Dean's back, going lower and lower. Dean gasped in shock as Cas' hand found it's destination.

Cas laughed a gravelly laugh that Dean could listen to forever, before pulling the blanket up over their heads.

When they finally reemerged from under the blanket, Dean's face was a mask of joy, and Cas' face was lit up with bliss. "That was..." Dean began before he trailed off. "I know." Cas said quietly. But just as Dean's arms wrapped around Cas' glowing frame, everything changed.

A whirlwind the color of blood spiraled across Dean's perfect dream, and Cas was ripped away from him. "Cas!" Dean shouted desperately. But Cas was unable to answer as he was carried away on the wind. Dean screamed as the whirlwind swept him up, and he was tossed all around the red vertex.

When the whirlwind finally dropped Dean, he was standing right smack in the middle of an old nightmare that he hadn't seen in years. This nightmare was something that Dean used to dread, but over the years, the event that lead to it had become so faint that Dean could almost pretend that it had happened the way he and John had told Sam it had. 

Dean's tear filled green eyes were locked onto her blood shot brown ones. She was no older than he was, in fact she was 12 minuets younger, but she looked like she was years older. Dean knew her to be a very cheerful person, but the dark circles under her eyes told him that her story lately had not been so bright. Dean tried his best to keep his eyes averted from the scarlet blood that had been forcefully smeared across her mouth, but to no avail.

Dean started as his father's cold words bit into his brain like knives. "Do it Dean." He had said. The tears which Dean was struggling to hold back threatened to spill over as she begged him, "Dean... don't do it. Please don't do it." She wasn't crying, and Dean was not surprised. She was made of tougher stuff than that. His hands were slick with sweat on the leather covered handle of John's revolver. "Dean. Now." John Commanded.

Dean couldn't breathe. Her calm eyes bore into his, as she said in a reasonable tone, the same tone she had used when coaxing Sammy to finish his dinner, "Dean, you don't have to do this, you're better than this." His hands began shaking. He didn't want to do it, but what other choice did he have?  "Dean! Do as I say!" John shouted angry at being disobeyed. Dean flinched, expecting the rough hit that would usually accompany his disobedience. But the hit never came, making Dean realize that John didn't want this either. Not really. But he had asked it to be done, so it had to be done. Slowly as he could, Dean reluctantly slid his index finger to the cold, steel trigger. 

"Dean, you don't have to do what Dad says, you can walk away from this." Her soft and gentle tone did nothing to soften the implication of her words. Did she think he couldn't do it? Did she really think that he was that weak? He wasn't weak, and he meant to tell her that, but what came out instead would tell her just exactly what he had decided to do. "Shut up Alley! Just shut up! I'm not like you! I'm not a weak, insufferable coward! I don't abandon my family when they need me! I didn't take Sammy and run, leaving behind the only other 2 people who cared about me! No, Alley. I can't walk away. I won't walk away. I'm so sorry Sissy, and I hope that you'll forgive me in Heaven, if we make it there. If not, then see you in Hell."

Her brown eyes widened, betraying the first sign of terror. Her voice was pitched overly high as she said, "Dean..." BANG! Dean gasped as the tiny revolver recoiled in his sweaty hands. Dean screamed in anguish as he saw the perfectly round bullet-hole in her forehead. "You had to do it son." John said grimly, ignoring Dean's cries. Dean walked stiffly over to where she layed, rigid as a board. Dean fell to his knees next to her, and let his tears fall freely. Dean, gently as he could manage, cradled her head in his lap. 

Dean then began rocking numbly back and forth. "I'm so sorry Sissy, I had to do it. I'm so sorry." Dean repeatedly whispered to her deaf ears. Dean's whispers slowly got louder as she just layed there, unknowing and uncaring that his very soul felt like it was shattering. John reached a shaking hand over Dean's shoulder and closed the glassy, sightless eyes of his only daughter. "Bye Princess." John whispered faintly. 

Dean's whispers rose to screams of "Sissy wake up! I'm sorry Sissy! Please wake up!" Then he began repeating at the same volume, "Sissy no! Sissy no! Sissy no!" A deep rumbling voice that had never been there before yelled, "Dean wake up!" Dean heard the slightly familiar voice as if from the other end of a long, long tunnel. Dean watched in shock as Alley did something she had never done before. She woke up. "Dean." She said angrily. Dean's screams didn't stop, but his heart nearly did as she stood. The bullet-hole was miraculously gone, and she looked at him with none of the love he remembered seeing in those eyes, even when they were blank and glassy. 

"Dean wake up!" the voice cut in again, sounding closer this time. "Dean," She said to him, some of the old love seeping back into her voice and eyes. "Beany, you've got to wake up. And you can't dream about me anymore okay?" Still screaming, Dean nodded. "There's my good -" 

But her good what, he would never know, for at this moment, Castiel finally succeeded at waking him up. Dean sat up, still screaming her name. Castiel's arms enveloped him instantly. And mere seconds later, Sam's hand clamped onto his shoulder. Tears poured down Dean's face in streams. Great, wracking sobs ripped through Dean's body. "It's okay Dean. Shhhh... You're okay. You're safe, I promise." Castiel's voice soothingly rumbled. Dean shook his head, and burried his face into Castiel's shoulder. 

Mary's voice sounded from somewhere to Dean's right, and she sounded worried. "What's wrong with Dean?" She asked. Dean dug his fingers into Castiel's back as he thought that she wouldn't care if she knew what he had done. Nobody answered Mary.

Castiel tilted his head a bit to the side and asked Sam, "Who is Sissy?" Cas and Sam immediately felt Dean tense. Sam took a moment to gather his thoughts, and then answered slowly, "Sissy is the nickname that Dean had for our sister." Mary nodded and said, "Like how he calls you Sammy." Sam shrugged, "Not exactly. He always called her that because she wasn't a sissy. She was tougher than Dean or I, and we all knew it. I think that calling her Sissy just made him feel better about it, and she never minded much, so he just kept doing it."

Castiel squinted at Sam. "You have a sister?" Sam nodded. "Yes. Well... had a sister..." Castiel tilted his head even further to the side. "Had?" Sam cleared his throat and said, "She died when I was 13. Vamp got her. Dad and Dean saw the whole thing, but couldn't stop it. She was Dean's twin." Castiel's arms tightened even more around Dean as Sam finished.

Miles away, the ground beneath a 23-year-old oak tree began heaving and moving. In a matter of minutes, a girl was crawling out of it. All 6 feet of her stood on the edge of the patch of churned earth, staring up at the light purple sky, just visible through the tree branches. It had been so long since she'd last seen the sky, but just how long, she had no clue.

"Dean," She whispered to the heavens with an edge in her voice. "I'm coming for you brother."