#and the more upset I get the funnier they think it is

[myname-isnia]

I’ve spent the entire day carefully avoiding triggering any negative emotion in myself because the PMS is hitting me hard and I’m genuinely tired of being hysterical all the time, only for my family to come along and shatter all that effort into TINY LITTLE PIECES

[bixels]

The Ryoko Kui interview's reception is such a disaster over a pretty normal (yet still flawed) interview between a non-Japanese fan and Japanese artistic. This is discourse for discourse's sake, and it's no surprise that almost every Twitter user I've looked at who's using this interview to parade Kui around as a goated mangaka standing strong against Western ideology is anti-trans.

Like, I do think the interview was kinda wonky with its focus on fandom culture, which Kui clearly didn't have much interest in. But sometimes that happens. Sometimes interactions between two people, especially a fan and a creator, two people who view and interact with a piece of media in completely opposite perspectives, don't click. Does this really need to get blown up into a "West vs. East culture war" issue.

Anyways, Kui saying "I don't consider my audience's interpretations when writing. I leave it to their imaginations, but I have my own read on things too" is the healthiest, most normal thing an artist/writer who wants a non-parasocial audience could say. Artists and writers use this line all the time. If Kui didn't enjoy autistic Laius or Farcille headcanons, she would have probably voiced/signalled her discomfort, like she did on the topic of Senshi fanservice. Overall, Kui handled the interview really well. Props to her to sticking to her guns and keeping a healthy disconnect from the fandom. While I think the interviewer could've/should've been more tactful and restrained, the flaws in their questions is not a symptom of the woke mind virus trying to wriggle its way into the pure Japanese psyche. It's the sign of an over-eager fan who sees a piece of fiction differently than its creator.

[mango-dolphin]

actually i need to post this outside of discord. i finished canto 3 and when i noticed this as the credits rolled i just couldn't stop looking back at meursault's sauce abomination. and the more i stared the worse and worse it got

[horse-head-farms]

thinking about Jevin and xB and how they both bully Hypno, and, in the context of ships, interpreting it kinda as… Jevin is mean to Hypno because he has romantic feelings for him, kinda like the stereotype of “he’s bullying you because he likes you and has a crush on you” in school children. Meanwhile, xB is mean to Hypno because it’s funny, and any romantic feelings he has are purely coincidental. Is this making sense

[dhmis-autism]

whatever. love the writing of the DHMIS show because EVERY single character in it switches violently between the roles of either straightman or bugs bunny with no in between.

[misspickman]

speaking of kon and family i am generally of the opinion that he never really puts a strict label on any of it because its more difficult than that, and something that is so core to his character is that he never had parents, but i will say its funny* how most people who say this are also the people who, when they see fans or dc call clark kons brother/cousin, cry about how labels make it less meaningful, theyre just family! and then turn around and call ma his grandma. so labels are only bad when clark is called something other than kons father right?

i think theres definitely merit to him never specifying who is what to him in this sense but i also think its kind of weird to refuse to acknowledge that ma and pa are his adoptive parents. like canonically. sure i still dont think its that simple and kon probably wouldnt just start calling ma his mom more than the word ma already implies, but its really obvious how much people HATE to acknowledge this or even consider it maybe even more than they hate it when clark is called kons brother/cousin. yknow like people got SO mad about kon referring to ma as his mom in that (bad) comic i saw people say its Worse than him being in a relationship with mgann..... like okay.... can u elaborate on that.. why is it worse exactly.... oh right it completely negates the possibility of clark being his father. right!

[friendlygirlswag]

still cannot believe vladislav "the poker" wwdits is canonically sixteen years old. and i’m supposed to be Normal about that

[galmiahthepigeon]

Oh I'm so embarrassed about the reaction I'm having to The News

[anothermonikan]

I do think it's a little silly when someone says they miss a piece of media... Like,the media is right there(probably) ! Go watch that show again or play that game again, it's (probably) not gone! But then also like. I get it. I suppose the first watch or experience of something is special and like, fandom hype around stuff if it was a popular piece of media is something you wouldn't experience within the show again, but also like,,,, you're mourning something that's not dead (usually) Create fan content! Watch that thing again! Engage with old fanworks! Cause someone will appreciate it, it will also make you happy!

[witchinatree]

the more i think about season 4 klaus the more upset i get

no, you do not have to be on drugs to be flamboyant and energetic, and i don't like that they're implying otherwise

klaus' character was never because of the drugs, his setbacks and difficulties in life were!! it made it harder for him to be himself!!

and yes ofc overcoming addiction is HARD and i'm not expecting him to be the same as he was before, but they made him seem so.. pathetic..? for trying to be sober? if that makes sense?

his struggle with germophobia pissed me off because it felt like one big joke instead of an actual thing he was having a hard time with

and it's almost like they took away his queerness with the drugs? they took it away in general but his sexuality and gender identities were just completely gone until he relapsed, so he was allowed one dick joke to solidify the "return to his old self"

you don't have to give up yourself in order to overcome an addiction. an addiction does not define you, it's a struggle you overcome in order to be the best version of you. i hate this show for doing this to klaus and telling the audience that your addictions make you 'funnier' or that trying to overcome an addiction is just 'a joke.'

i love you klaus hargreeves

[greeniegaes]

Screaming crying sobbing

Over a courtesan Shen Yuan.

Maybe he knew YQY and SJ when they were kids, maybe not. Either way SY ends up working at the warm red pavilion and ends up interacting with SJ

First it’s just small things, delivering tea for his jiejies, putting instruments back when they are done, dropping off various things.

Then he starts actually talking to SJ and SJ surprisingly doesn’t hate him just for being a guy (I’ve been thinking trans yuan here but also like cos yuan works, I this trans is funnier cause SJ is like ‘damn you CHOSE to be a man? L move bro’)

They start getting along more and more, working together on music SJ has to turn in for his peak, actually chatting comfortably, stuff like that. SJ realizes SY is an absolute monster freak and always tells him about the stuff he’s seen, long chats lounging on the same bed into the night.

Until one day YQY and LQG burst in.

SJ is instantly in protect mode, hissing and spitting at his sect siblings as SY groggily wakes up, watching them bicker. Eventually LQG says something along the lines of ‘well if you weren’t messing around we’d already be tracking down such and such beast’ to which SY perks up out of bed, quickly throwing on his clothes before anyone can so much as blink and is just

“Well let’s get going then.”

SJ quickly tries to stop the man, annoyed that his di would even entertain the thought of talking with LQG. SY though, does not give a fuck, throwing SJ a zither to use for musical cultivation, telling the jiejies bye and making them go out on their little adventure.

LQG and YQY are so confused, looking at this freaky little twink drooling over various things about monsters all the while SJ is giving them death glares and huffing.

YQY is extremely jealous watching SJ and this dude too, like bro! That’s his emotionally unavailable Shen! Get your own! He’s upset at how easily they get along, how SJ doesn’t care if his hand is pulled along or if SY tugs on him to whisper something. Anytime YQY had ever attempted such a thing SJ would pull or flinch away, making him stop

LQG meanwhile is just… confused. On one hand his moral code states that any courtesan isn’t a good person to be around. On the other hand this cute guy is getting excited over monster guts in a way he’s never seen before and it’s quiet fascinating to hear him do enough talking for the rest of the group.

I feel like eventually LQG and SJ are totally in love with SY and YQY is in love with SJ so they end up awkwardly paired together, all vying for another’s attention and stuff.

(If SY ever met airplane here he’d be so pissed by the way, chasing him around like a rhino and yelling about how he had to deal away with his pride (SY made the choice of going to the brothel, he doesn’t even do sex work though.) and the others just watch him like ‘wow, look at him acting so feral, kinda hot tbh)

[nervousyoungtwinfantasydog]

got told to look into a HPD diagnosis :)

[nyaagolor]

Ranking the Ace Attorney main cast on whether or not I think they'd be a narc

I was making a more coherent, serious post about the different approaches to justice each of the characters have and how that is shaped by their backstory... and then I realized a funnier question is what they would do if they saw you eating a weed brownie so I made this post instead

Phoenix: In the trilogy era, yes. He trusts people, but believes that trust has to be built on pursuing justice and always accepting the harsh reality. He'd be sad about it, but a narc nonetheless. In his Beanix era he's making his money through "totally legal gambling" and on the hunt for questionably legal evidence so I have no doubt in my mind there's a pot farm under the WAA for supplemental income. He gives up his narc ways and for that I salute him

Apollo: If I were to pick a single member of this cast who is NOT invited to the rotation it would be him. He had zero hesitation throwing Kristoph to the wolves after working for him for years so I know he has absolutely zero qualms about ratting out his friends or coworkers. Loyalty means nothing in the eyes of justice and it means nothing to him. He's a narc.

Athena: She's gonna lecture you and look all sad about it, but she's no snitch. She's been through the rounds with Simon so she gets it. Having to know you hurt her feelings is enough of a punishment in her eyes

Edgeworth: He's not a narc but he IS obsessed with being right, so if you don't immediately fess up with exactly what you're doing he's going to send your stoned ass to the chess dimension and honestly I think that's worse

Franziska: Unfortunately she is a cop. Narc.

Godot: Diego-era yeah he's a narc, but after the coma? I feel like he has better things to worry about, he would just ignore you. He has some soul searching to do and some grief complexes to unlearn he doesn't have the time to be a lil snitch. Post prison I think he's stoned somewhere in Kurain and chillaxing, as is his right

Klavier: Don't let his rockstar attitude fool you he's a narc and extremely annoying about it. The gavinners tour bus is dry as hell and it's all Klavier's fault. Daryan offers him a line and he gets all uppity and says "the only LINE i want you doing is the third line in the prechorus, you keep messing up the syncopation" and that's the end of that discussion

Simon: He's been in prison so he knows what's up. Not a narc. Might glare at you until you share though

Nahyuta: He's a narc and will lecture you so long about it you're tempted to turn yourself in to get out of earshot. He also never forgets and never forgives. Datz is trying to reform him but it isn't going well

Sebastian: Yes, but I think the idea of him having to turn in someone for it would make him cry so they end up comforting him instead. Kay thinks he needs to try a weed brownie

Maya: I want you to look at me and tell me she doesn't smoke weed. Not a narc

Pearl: I think if she found out that her big sister figure smoked weed she would have a heart attack. Def a narc

Trucy: I can say with absolute certainty that if you really wanted weed she could find you a dealer faster than anyone in the cast. Trucy is a magician and has grown up around a variety of people involved with some seedier institutions, she knows better than to snitch. Has not been and will never be a narc

Kay: Will help you shoplift. Not a narc

Gumshoe: A narc on principle, but would feel really bad about it and would probably let you off with a warning if you started crying or acting upset because I think he's a softie. He's not unreasonable

Ema: If you think she has even the tiniest sliver of respect for cops you're lying to yourself. Not a narc and will actively help you evade police out of principle. A homie, honestly

Fulbright: Not only is he a narc but he definitely runs the DARE program at the local highschool and is printed on half the posters they put up in the precinct. I'm also like 80% sure he doesn't actually know how weed works

[yuwuta]

JJK OLYMPICS OHHH YOURE A GENIUS

head spinning w sooooooo many athlete aus rn….. 

satoru honestly isn’t half as cocky as the media makes him out to be but he could be because you bring up world champion men’s freestyle swim times and it’s his name on the scoreboard ten times before someone else shows up. he’s faster than himself by fifteen seconds all around, he’s earned a bit of cockiness. mentioned in the last post that whenever he’s at a competition and he finishes a race, he looks at the camera and signs a little infinity sign and then blows a kiss to you. some bitter old coach always calls him out on it, and gets him fined for unsportsmanlike conduct, and he’s happy to pay the fees if it means getting a message home to you, but eventually you two come up with a new code; and at his next race, he places gold, turns to the camera, crosses his middle finger over his pointer finger and smiles. when he’s in his post-race interview, he makes sure to explain that he does it for you with the widest smile on his face.

megumi nepotism baby but not in the same sport. toji was a multi gold medalist back in his heyday for shooting, so it’s not really a surprise to anybody that megumi has scary good aim, but he takes to archery instead of shooting. actually the idea of megumi being an emo little kid and throwing rocks at a tree when his dad pissed him off his hilarious, and even funnier is toji watching him, slightly amused and a little scared because megumi is maybe six and hitting the exact same spot every single time. he grows to be very blase about it—it’s more of a release/hobby for him that he happens to be really good at, and well, now good enough to earn a few olympic medals. megumi is not a fan of having his dad ruffle his hair on international television after he’s won, but he supposes it can’t be helped.

i don’t know where to put yuuta…. tennis…. tempting….. him in his little white shorts…. little grunts after he serves…. cries….. a complete 180 in his personality when he’s playing vs doing anything else. so charming and sweet and kinda shy when he’s being interviewed, and the second he steps on the court his eyes are so cold it’s scary…. need him… extremely nerdy about his rackets, and shoes, and clothes, and rambles to you about aerodynamics and posture and torque whenever you ask him to teach you, and you always have to shutup him up with a kiss and remind him that yeah you sort of want to learn to play tennis for him, but mostly you came bc he looks hot doing it. once he got asked in an interview if he ever thinks about you while he’s playing and his response was very concise, “no, never. it would be a big distraction,” and did not realize the implications of his heavily televised words. 

also…. not to make this post 40% yuuta but we could pull from canon a bit and make his sport fencing. he doesn’t excel because he’s the strongest, it’s because he’s learned to treat the sword as an extension of himself and a good strategist… also because i like the image of him pulling the helmet/mask off and shaking his hair out………..

don’t even know where to put yuuji…. volleyball? basketball? track and field??? the irony of him easily being the most athletic but canonically does not want to play sports 😭 but i can see him playing a sport because someone scouts him and it turns out to be a way to make steady money to support himself and his grandpa :( by the time he’s qualified and made it to the olympics, wasuke is doing much better (thanks to yuuji having landed some preemptive sponsorships and being able to afford better medical care), but not so well enough that he can travel across the world to watch yuuji play. wasuke tells you that you should travel and be with yuuji, but yuuji is so touched by the idea that you would stay with his grandpa and be by his side when he’s away :(( he wins gold, of course, and he doesn’t even wait until the closing ceremony—which, he’d mentioned in all of his interviews, so nobody can be too upset. he’s on record saying, “i’m excited to play, but i’m even happier to be going home. my girlfriend and my grandpa are watching me and i miss them!” several times— he’s on the first flight home with flowers, and tears in his eyes. puts his gold medal on his grandpa’s neck as a thank you, and spends probably thirty minutes straight hugging you and kissing you and honestly don’t put it past him to propose now that he’s got nike ambassador money 

nanami started judo as a way to relieve the stress of his overbearing job, and someone at the gym/training center notices he seems to be a natural despite being a beginner. he starts to draw a crowd, which annoys him at first because the point of judo was discipline and release from having to deal with too many people at his office job, but nanami supposes he can’t be too mad when you introduce yourself as a talent scout and offer him professional training. there’s irony in him accepting your offer, because it was definitely not based in professionalism at all… quitting his job as a salaryman to become a professional athlete in his mid-twenties was not on his bingo chart, but if it means he will have met you, then so be it. you’re with him all the way, through his training, competitions, world championships, qualifiers, all the way until he’s on the podium. you’re the first to congratulate him, but he interjects by telling you he’s quitting. you ask him why—he just won at the olympics for crying out loud, but nanami just shakes his head, puts down his flowers and his medal so his hands are free to hold your face and tell you, “it would be unethical to kiss my manager, so i am quitting.” (later, when everything is said and done, and you two are cuddling, you mention to him that he could just hire a new manager, and not quit his new career, to which he blushes because yeah… that’s probably more rational, but rational was not in his train of thought at the time)

[7seas-of-ryy]

The Bet | Part 2

Author’s Note: I really wanted to make a Part 2 for this!! I have MANY wips right now so hopefully I'll have more for you guys soon :) also I absolutely LOVE all of your comments and will reply to them as soon as I can! <3

Summary: You won the bet but exactly how funny are you??

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Warnings: none, let me know if I need to add any :)

---

The bet you made with Cass and Rhys was the best thing to ever happen to you. A few days after you won, the entire inner circle went out for a night at Rita’s. Rhys and Cass had stayed true to their word and bought your drinks the entire night but the best part was Az had admitted his feelings to you.

The two of you went on a couple dates and eventually he asked you to be his. It was the happiest you had ever been.

You were currently sitting with the shadowsinger, each reading your books in silence when you spoke up.

“Ya know…I once heard a joke about amnesia… but I forgot how it goes!” You told the male with a grin on your face.

He gave you a loud laugh and pulled you closer, kissing the side of your head.

“When did you come up with that one?” He asked with a grin still on his face.

“Oh I just thought of it.” You said with a smirk, satisfied you made him laugh.

“You’ll have to tell Feyre that one, I think she’ll like it.” Az told you.

You nodded your head in agreement and you both went back to reading your books.

---

You were currently in the Summer Court with the rest of the inner circle for some business. You were all looking out at the sea, enjoying the view when you spoke up.

“What did the ocean say to the beach? ...Nothing, it just waved!" You said, stifling a laugh.

Az began to laugh immediately, Feyre joined him soon after. What you didn’t see was Feyre elbowing Rhys and Cass, forcing them to laugh at your joke. Mor just chuckled, seeing everything go down.

The spymaster pulled you in close to his side, resting his hand on your hip. He gave his brothers a quick glare over your head when you weren’t looking and they held up their hands in defense.

---

You were sitting with Cass and Rhys, waiting for a chance to tell them the new joke you learned.

“Hey, did you guys hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda??” You asked them, feigning a look of concern.

“What, oh no! Is he ok??” Rhys questioned.

“Yeah, he was lucky it was a soft drink!” You told them with excited eyes.

The two males sat across from you with blank faces, not budging even a tiny bit.

“C’mon you guys!! That was funny! Az would’ve laughed.” You huffed a breath.

“He only laughs because he’s getting some from you!” Cass stated, causing Rhys to hit his shoulder.

You gasped and placed a hand on your chest in offense.

"I'll have you know, Az loves my humor!! You're just upset because he thinks I'm funnier than you!" You smirked at Cass.

"She's got you there, she is waaayyy funnier than you." Rhys added, also smirking at the male.

"I hate both of you." Cass deadpanned.

---

A few days had passed and you were walking through the house trying to find the spymaster. You were passing by Rhys’ office when you heard him speak.

“It’s not that serious.” Rhys spoke.

“Yeah, just relax.” Cass added.

“It is that serious, I will not relax, and I will hurt you if you don’t listen to me.” Az threatened.

You gasped, not sure of what they could be discussing that was so serious. He sounded so upset with Rhys and Cass, you were about to burst through the door to figure out what was going on when you heard Cass speak again.

“I won’t laugh at Y/N’s jokes if they’re not funny!” Cass whisper shouted.

“It's really just the puns, they're awful!! I can’t fake laugh at those.” Rhys said in the same tone.

There were a few beats of silence before you heard Az sigh.

“Listen I know how bad the jokes are, but she loves them. You guys know how much I hate puns but do you see how happy she gets when she tells us a new joke? So I don’t care how hard you have to try, you will laugh at her jokes and tell her you like them.” He told his brothers.

You left to go to your room and didn’t hear the rest of the conversation. You felt conflicted. On one hand, you were hurt that he never actually liked your jokes but on the other, your heart melted at the lengths he was going to for you. But if he was lying about something as simple as liking your puns then what else was he lying about? Before you could continue to spiral, the male in question walked in.

“Hello my love, what’re you up to?” He asked you with a sweet smile, pulling you in for a kiss.

You turned your head last minute so his lips landed on your cheek. He gave you a confused look and tried again. This time, you put your finger on his lips to stop him, looking up into his face.

“What’re you doing?” His voice muffled by your finger.

“You don’t like my puns.” You stated simply and pulled your finger away.

“What?! Of course I do! They make me laugh so hard!” His voice got higher the longer the sentence went on.

“Az, stop. I heard you threatening Cass and Rhys.” You admitted.

His face dropped, shoulders slumped, and he looked genuinely devastated.

“Let me explain-” He started but you were quick to cut him off.

“Don’t…I’m not mad. Maybe a little sad that you don’t think I’m funny but when I heard you saying all of that…I think I fell even more in love with you.” You told him as your cheeks reddened.

“Really?” His eyes brightened instantly.

“Yeah, no one has ever gone through that much trouble just to make me happy.” You beamed.

“I really do love you so much… Also I do think you’re funny. I just really hate puns.” He told you.

“I love you too,” You spoke as you wrapped your arms around his neck, “And just so you know, you are o-fish-ally off the hook for pretending to like my puns.”

Genuine laughter came out of the male in front of you this time. He pulled you in closer and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Alright that one actually got me.” He whispered as he laid his forehead on yours.

He slowly leaned in and brushed his lips against yours, a soft exhale leaving him. A few blissful moments passed before he began to whisper.

“Just so you know, I would’ve endured and laughed at your puns for eternity.” Az confessed.

“Would’ve? No you definitely will be doing that.” You retorted.

Az just let out another laugh and pulled you back down for more kisses. A lifetime of puns didn’t sound so bad, as long as they were coming from you.

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

@darkbloodsly @xtreme-shipper @rcarbo1 @shamelessdonutkryptonite @anna-reader-blog

@favsrachz @julesvanslutta @kitsunetori @i-am-infinite @cat-or-kitten

@tele86 @popcornlauncher @proclivity-for-fantasy-97 @anxious-cactus @amara-moonlight

@whosmys @vanserrasimp @whoevenfrickenknows @secondratecomplaint @fightmedraco

@watermelomsuger @lillilwil @kaitttttttt @andreperez11 @irelanrose

@myromanempiree @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @thestartitaness @macimads @shizukestar

@iluvyewman-blog @mybestfriendmademe @jesskidding3 @secret-sheee @mariahoedt

@lilah-asteria @thebeautifulmysteriesoflife @sinfully-yoursss @hellohauntedturnstudent @acourtofbatboydreams

@halo-mystic @tenshis-cake @vhjlucky13 @littlelunatica @blessthepizzaman

@miadialila @knittedchapters @wxhxixtxexroses @ivy-34 @littlepippilongstocking

@userxs-blog @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @topaz125 @callsigns-haze

[luveline]

i love the kbd universe so so much! could you please do one where sweet little bethie (☹️) has been getting a hard time from other kids at school/nursery for being ‘weird’/‘different’ and how steve and reader would handle it?? sorry if that’s too specific my lovely! hope you’re having a good day!! 🫶

thank you!! kbd au —steve employs your help when your daughter needs a pep talk. 1.5k

“Why’s my girl so sad?” 

“I’m not sad.” 

Steve raises his brows at Beth. She looks especially like you when she’s down. It’s sort of sad, thinking about it, how her lips turn like yours would, how she won’t meet his gaze or hold his hand when he tries to intertwine their fingers. 

“Aw, honey, don’t tell me tall tales,” he says, no actual scolding in his tone. He sees the shimmer of tears aligned on her bottom lashes and can’t abide her fibs anymore, scooping her off of the couch and into his arms. “Bethieeeee,” he whines, “tell me what’s wrong! You know I hate not knowing everything about you.” 

“Dad,” she says, letting her head loll in the curve of his neck, “nothing is wrong.” 

Liar, he thinks. From the kitchen he can hear you and Dove and baby Wren singing. Avery potters around in the downstairs bathroom, humming. Steve knows Beth is sad, because Beth is quiet, but she still has as much energy as the rest of her sisters when she’s home. She isn’t introverted when she’s with him, or her mother, and especially not the best big sister in the world. 

“Okay,” he says. He should poke and prod. Instead, he lifts her up as high as he can, which, not to brag, is quite high. “Hi up there. How’s the weather?” 

She jabs him in the chest with her foot. “It’s windy.” 

Steve laughs like an idiot and brings her down for some adoring kisses. “Super windy. Babe, you get funnier and funnier everyday.”

She wraps her arms behind his head. “Thank you.” 

“Ooh, you’re welcome. Should we go and sing some songs with mommy?” 

Beth shakes her head. “No.” 

“No?” 

“No.” She sounds like a baby. 

Steve sits down with an arm behind her back. He’d quite like a bit of peace and quiet. He doesn’t mind if she needs some too. “Then let’s stay right here, bub, jus’ me and you.” 

Dustin once said that Steve was about as much use as a paper cup in a hurricane when it came to comforting people, but that was nearly a decade ago, and it was before he met you. You rushed into Steve’s life (by accident on both sides) and showed him how it felt to be properly looked after for the first time ever. He can’t forget how that felt. Robin loves him but she couldn’t love him like that, couldn’t kiss a bruise and fix it whole, couldn’t ease a migraine with her fingers in his hair. You touch Steve’s arm and he can lift a ten tonner. 

He’s more equipped than ever to comfort someone now. He had a good teacher. 

“You have a long day today, huh?” he asks. 

“Not much.” 

He smiles. “Not much long?” he asks. 

“Dad,” she grumbles. “You know what I mean.” 

“I do… so you didn’t find it too long?” 

“I guess.” Beth touches under his chin. “You have sharpies.” 

“My stubble? Should I shave tonight?” 

“Yes,” she says emphatically. “Don’t like scratchy kisses.” 

“Oh, so you wanted more kisses?” he asks. “Would that help you feel better? How about we meet in the middle and get mom to kiss you? She’s not so sharp.” 

She sighs, her nose shoved into his collar. “Dad, can you rub my back?” 

Steve rubs her back immediately. She makes no other request, lips firmly shut and secret upset sealed away, feeling at his stubble with gentle fingers. She loves foreign sensations like this. It’s why she likes having her back rubbed, Steve theories; the pressure of his hand on her spine is dragging, and grounding. 

He shifts against the grain of a cushion behind his back. 

“I want to tell you,” Bethie says finally. 

“I always want to listen,” he promises. 

She doesn’t sound teary, more uncomfortable as she finally forces it out, “Nobody at school likes me.” 

“Babe, that’s not true at all.” 

“It is true. They all think I’m weird.” 

“I bet they don’t, babe.” 

“Dad, they all say it.” 

Steve bites his cheek as his mouth snaps shut. “Well,” he says quietly, cupping the side of her face, encouraging her head back to meet her eyes. They’re big in her little face, pupils like pearls, “that’s not very nice.” 

“It’s true.” 

“Not true.” 

“It is true,” she says angrily. 

“It’s not true, Beth, you’re not weird, and if you are weird then I’m weird, and that’s not a bad thing after all. Is it?” 

Internally, it breaks his heart. Beth has been different than the other kids for a long time and in lots of ways. She’s picky, peculiar. She eats things in her own fashion, and has interests outside of her peers. Steve didn’t know she was ‘abnormal’ until people started telling him —she’s his second baby. He didn’t think they were all the same, and so didn’t question her differences, and still doesn’t care to beyond wondering what he can do to make her happy. Who cares if Beth eats two bites of sandwich for every celery stick? 

The other kids. Some parents. 

“I don’t want to be weird,” she says, hanging her head. 

You arrive like a well-timed miracle, shimmying past the half open door with a smile. “Hi, guys. I want you to come and do karaoke, what do you think? I’m making everybody mocktails! We’re having pineapple juice and–” You lean back, hand on your hip, a slip of your stomach peaking out of your tank top, total picture of a cool mom as you cross your naked arms over your stomach. “Oh, no. What’s wrong?” you ask teasingly. 

Steve squeezes Beth to his neck. “Hey, none of your business!” 

“No, tell me,” you say, crossing the room to sit beside them on the couch. 

“You wanna tell her?” Steve asks. 

Beth shakes her head. “Didn’t want to tell you, dad.” 

“You did, lovely,” he says, all sympathy as you cuddle up to Steve’s side and wrap an arm around them both. “You said you wanted to tell me. It’s okay if you don’t want to tell us again, though. Mommy just wants to make you feel better, right?” 

“Right,” you say. When you smile at her, it’s with all the love in the world. 

She’s quicker to cry in her mother’s lap. She wiggles closer to your shoulder, her voice fraught as she confesses, “Everybody at school says I’m weird,” and erupts into breathless sobbing, like she’s terrified of the idea. 

Your eyes wrinkle as you close them tight, frowning into the top of her head. “Oh, my poor girl. My baby. Please don’t cry, because that’s not true. You’re not weird.” 

“Everybody says I am!” 

“I’m sorry,” you say, pushing Steve away accidentally as you wrap her into a proper hug. “Who says that?” 

“Mom, it’s everyone. Even my friends.” 

Kids can be so mean, when they aren’t trying and when they are. You mumble sweet placatives, fingers running up and down the length of Beth’s shuddering back. She cries like she’s hurting. Steve’s reminded of the time she fell down the stairs and hit her face on the baby gate, she was shocked but more urgently in pain, and she couldn’t work out why she’d fallen. 

“That’s not nice, Beth,” you’re saying, “I’m so sorry they’re saying mean things about you, but you’re not weird, I don’t know why they’d say something like that. They’re just not as nice as my girl.” 

“I’m different,“ she says. 

“That’s not a bad thing, Beth. You’re perfect. I wouldn’t want you any other way, and neither would your dad.”

Steve jumps in. “Right! We like you like this, babe. I don’t want you to change, I don’t care what all the meanies at school say, me and mom think you’re awesome. Avery and Dove and Wren all think you’re the best sister and best friend ever. Avery’s your best friend. Has she ever called you weird?” 

The baby talk is sinking in. If you used your bubbly voices on Avery it might not work anymore, but Beth is just about young enough for it to take. “No… You really think I’m not weird?” Beth asks sadly. 

No kid wants to think they’re weird, even if they are, and even if that’s okay. 

You sink down into your seat, taking Beth with you. Steve has to fight to cuddle you both. “I know you’re not,” you say. 

For a good five minutes, you just hug her. Steve ends up laying his cheek against your temple, hand on Beth’s back so she knows he’s there. When the baby starts babbling loudly for you to come back, Steve takes the short straw and leaves you both for cuddling. 

“What’s up, dad?” Avery asks, standing on a chair by the baby’s high chair, feeding her youngest sister cut up strawberries on a spoon. Dove eats her own strawberries with sliced bananas and peanut butter, the evidence of the latter staining her blue t-shirt.

Steve pats the top of Avery’s head. “Nothing much, baby. I’ve come to make you your mocktail.” 

“Oh, yes! With sugar? Bethie loves the sugar.” 

She doesn’t know how glad he is that she’s Beth’s big sister. “With the sugar.”