#and then just “hi jim. you're the real asshole here”

[movedto-mastcrmarksman]

"so you're the annoying guy who's been following me around for ten years?" (spy verse HEHEHE)

Had it really been ten years? Fuck, if that was the case than saying he's going to retire has become a water cooler conversation that has gotten way too old. No wonder Sal is always giving him that judgmental eyeroll. There's no way he was retiring any time soon, especially not with the shit that he's been keeping an eye. Carol's shit. Technically, JIM as he was known as wasn't officially part of his job description yet, not named at least, except by Carol. Since looking after Jim was a favor with no returning reward. It's the little things he does for his friends

(Except Jim's a big thing, a pain in his ass for ten years to keep track of, and part of that is because Jim's good at what he does. The other part usually involves bullets and not dying.)

He doesn't even spare the agent who admittedly looks ready to kill him. He holds up his hand to signal for Jim to pause, hold still for a moment. ❝ Mh'nm, hol'tha'thought. ❞ There had been a somewhat soggy looking paper towel that he had been eating out of before they had gotten into their kerfuffle and Jim had realized who he was. He had very barely managed to slip it into the pocket on his chest pocket.

He reaches for it, keeping one hand up to keep the peace and shoves the rest of the crumbling muffin into his mouth. ❝ You're the annoying one, making everything harder than you need to and almost dying a few times. You know how hard it is keep my cover, do my own fuckin' work, and make sure I'm not bringing you to Carol in a coffin? ❞ Clint chews around his food a little moment before wiping his mouth with the questionable paper towel.

❝ It's futzin' annoying; and please don't shoot me. Hospitals make me cry. ❞

[jacevelaryonswife]

Maybe I just wanna be yours

Even though he were handsome and kind, you were successful in avoiding fantasizing about Billy, after all, what is the possibility of seeing him again?

∴pairing: Billy Washington x Fem!reader

∴warnings and a note: fluffy and smut, english is not my first language. This shot was made for this request. 2,8k

ewanverse characters

Your routine was well defined. You would wake up early to work as a waitress at a local restaurant, which worked in the morning until late and was open for breakfasts and lunches, then you would come home and study for a few hours, to finally spend the rest of the day with your mother. Even smaller and working hours less than the other establishments, the restaurant was quite old, classic and well located, with a satisfactory flow of customers every day. It was not exactly what you imagined for your life, but it was a good job, with a good salary and close to your home, a real rarity to find. When the financial situation of your house stabilized, you planned to take a vocational course or a college, but so far you hadn’t made up your mind. While this didn’t happen, you enjoyed the happiness that life provided you, whether it was staying at home on lazy days, taking some walks, buying things, taking advantage of the day off or trying to find some nice guy, but the latter was more of a torment than a happiness in fact.

You've had one night stands and some failed attempts at romance, but you've never found a minimally decent guy to be ideal. You see, you were demanding, but you knew how to be flexible in your choices and yet immense bad luck seemed to haunt your love life. Maybe the mistake was in you after all, maybe you weren't ideal for anyone, not even for the guy who made you pay the dinner bill and blamed you for not being able to make you cum.

No, heavens! He was an asshole, idiot and profiteer, you deserved more than that asshole! But so many disappointments made you stop looking for someone.

Your life was followed the way it was in recent months, a good routine and a well-deserved rest, without many big emotions and weekly happiness in small things, until everything changed when he, Billy, showed up.

An attitude that constantly embarrassed you was to imagine your life with some clients you served, it was pathetic and needy, but you couldn't contain yourself sometimes. Because of the last events of your life, you stopped paying attention to them, but then a tall and slender figure entered a calmer moment of the day, with dirty blonde hair and such beautiful blue eyes. You anticipated to serve him, since your co-worker was with two other desks, greeting him with a simple smile without showing your teeth. “Hello, welcome to Little Jim, I will be in charge of your table. If you need anything, just call,” you said.

“Thank you,” he said softly, returning the smile.

To your surprise, your boss had known him for some time — from what you listened discreetly.

"Billy, how are you, lad? What about Lana? It's been so long since I've seen you two," Jay said with one hand on his shoulder.

"She's fine, you know, a lot at work," he, Billy, replied.

“What about you? Did you find something nice? Something with computers, huh? It's the job of your young people's dream."

Billy lowered his head with a small weak smile. “I got a nice job, the last few years have been a little tough but I managed to reverse the situation,” he pouted.

"You deserve it, you're a good boy and you have the same blood as your sister. Feel free here, who is serving you?"

You pretended to be waiting for the order from the other table as you turned to disguise yourself, but soon heard your name being called by you with a large amount of white threads and looked at him in false curiosity as you walked to his side.

"Take good care of my lad Billy, he's a special customer!" He said playful.

“I will, don't worry,” you smiled at both of them, but even more at Billy, who returned your gesture with sweetness and shyness.

Even though he were handsome and kind, you were successful in avoiding fantasizing about Billy, after all, what is the possibility of seeing him again?

Surprisingly you was discharged, since approximately five days later he returned to the restaurant, but this time he was attended by Nancy, your co-worker and another single waitress. Even busy, you looked at him a few times and caught him stealing glances at you too, causing a shy smile on both of you. No words were exchanged between you that day, but the fate seemed to reserve good things, since three days later he appeared again, only at the time you were closing. You knew you should say goodbye to your boss and leave, but Billy looked so handsome with his clean hair and trimmed beard...

You wanted him to talk to something, anything in your direction.

And then, when you signaled to your boss that you were on your way to catch the bus, he apparently had another idea.

"Billy, are you still living in the same apartment?" He asked, stating that you lived on his own streets. Oh... he lived near...

Mm.

No, stop.

While you were daydreaming about the fact, your boss was already planning some things, such as a possible ride, until you realized it. "Oh no, you don't have to bother!"

"It's not a problem, I'm going home anyway."

Although you was reluctant to accept it, Jay insisted that you go. It would be a hand in the wheel and an economy in your money, what could go wrong? As you got into the car, your old boss blinked suggestively at Billy, making him blush and lower his head in shame. What was better than a cupid?

“Thank you for the ride, it's very kind of you,” you said.

“You're welcome, it's no problem,” he said softly. "So... how long have you been working for Jay?" He tried.

“A few months ago. It's a good job, and he's a good boss,” you answered sympathetically. "And you, how long have you known him?"

"Since I was a kid, he's been a friend of my family."

"Oh, that's good."

The desire to look for another subject was mutual, as well as the shy silence that followed, neither of them confident in asking something particular from the other, so Billy asked another comprehensive question.

"Have you lived here for a long time?"

You watched him calmly, although your heart was a little racing. "A few years ago, not many, we lived somewhere else but things got a little difficult and we need to move."

“I understand,” he contemplated your answer.

"What about you?"

“I've always lived in the region, but I've been living alone for some time,” he replied.

Again the silence gained strength, only more comfortable than before since neither of you were so nervous. However, your side that avoided fantasizing about the beautiful blonde and his incredibly big hands? You can forget it. You were already thinking about him and his pleasant smell, and luckily for him, he remembered Jay's suggestive wink and decided to act when he arrived at your apartment.

“Thank you again,” you said with a shy smile.

"You're welcome, so, would you like to go out for coffee someday?" Billy asked slowly. Oh, how he hated these situations! His self-esteem was not a big deal and receiving a no from a beautiful girl was not pleasant, but then life - and you - seemed to smile at him.

"I'd love to go out with you. But I'm not a big fan of coffee,” you timidly confessed.

Heavens, the little smile he showed you was so cute and sweet, as if your answer had illuminated his whole life. "So what do you suggest?

“Can you give me your number so we can arrange it?"

“Sure,” he gave you the number and his full name. Billy Washington. You had a date with Billy Washington at the weekend at a cute local desserts place that you always wanted to go to. Your mind became restless when you got home, looking for him immediately on social networks to learn more about him. His Instagram didn’t have so much actionable information and the last update was about a year, Facebook was a little more revealing about some curiosities about his age and education — Twitter was out of the question. He was older than you, which caused a different excitement in your belly. But even with your efforts to find out things about your date, that night Billy and you began to chat by messages, starting a routine where curiosities about you were exchanged.

The anxiety built on your body had peaks and falls over the days, disturbing your thoughts. How should you go? Should you really go? After so many loving disappointments your mind and heart were not the most hopeful in a new endeavor, but the fire and the desire to find a love and be found by it were still lit in you. That's why you chose your best products to get ready that day, starting with a fragrant soap for the bath, the hair care kit, waxing cream, moisturizer and body oil, perfume and makeup. You were beautiful and serene, and you knew you would cry if things went wrong this time.

Luckily for you, Billy was extremely punctual. Quickly saying goodbye to your mother and making sure you would send her some messages to say you was fine, you greeted him when you saw him wait in front of the car.

“Hi,” your smile was wider than usual.

“Hi. You look pretty,” he said in a soft voice, opening the car door for you to enter.

“Thank you, you too.”

Maybe fate intended to smile at you, since from the moment you chose the table the dialogue was present at full speed. He talked about his sister's work in the bomb squad, his own work in information technology, some stories of his life and his tastes. You did the same, talking about your reality, your dreams, what you wanted to conquer and the things you found happiness. There was no pattern of dialogue, since at one hour he was telling about his uncle who named his dogs with atypical names, followed by you telling how you fell on your first day of employment.

At the end of each report there was a gaze full of expectation on both sides, an unspoken suggestion. Maybe he was the guy. But it was you who took the first step.

"I wanted to ask something. Doesn't it bother you to go out with someone younger?" Your voice was low and uncertain.

"Doesn't it bother you to go out with someone older?" He answered with another question.

“No, it doesn't bother you,” you said.

"Neither me."

It was already night when you asked for the bill and he fervently insisted to pay, holding your waist on the way back to the car. Your next step was bold, preventing him from opening the door for you as he leaned against it and gently pulled it by the hand to stand in front of you.

“I had a lot of fun today,” you leaned your two hands gently on his chest.

"Me too," he circled your waist, "but you don't have to do that if you don't want to."

A bold smile shone on your face before saying, "I want to. And you?"

He smiled too.

“Me too.”

Your lips touched each other with sweet tenderness, soft and shy as you tasted each other quickly.

"Do you want to come home with me?"

He didn't have to make an effort to convince you to say yes.

Just a few seconds after the apartment door closed, Billy traced his thumb over your lower lip before you kissed again, more intense than before. You held both sides of his head and leaned on his soft lips, returning the anxious desire to prove it. The wet and gentle kiss made you float in his arms, making it easy for him to take your body to the room to undress you without haste, passing his long fingers through each exposed piece of skin. You closed your eyes when you felt the steaming sensation of tongues and teeth in your neck, allowing yourself to sigh loudly. His hands kneaded your naked breasts and the flesh of your ass while diving into your neck, flooding yout mind with such delicious sensations.

“Let me take it off,” you said while holding the hem of his shirt, getting space to grope his deliciously defined chest and with some hair. God, he was so handsome.

You leaned over to return the kisses on his soft chest, sucking the pink areolas to provoke him — and apparently it worked, as the tightness on your waist got sharper. He moaned softly when you spanned him over your pants, closing your eyes and leaving erotic sounds with the intimate massage received. Your hands were masturbating him and your mouth tasting his abdomen were making him warm and needy, making him move away against his taste to remove his pants, shoes and socks.

He pulled you for a messy and wet kiss, sucking your tongue and tasting your tasty lips. He squeezed your ass and waist while depositing your body on the bed, retreating to pick up the condom package in the nightstand drawer.

You felt in the clouds when kisses were planted on your inner thighs, contributing to the accumulation of moisture in your flower.

“Your skin is so soft,” he purred satisfied.

“Mmm. Thank you,” your voice was sly.

And then, your panties were removed to expose your needy intimacy and bright entrance, making his mouth water while more kisses were destined to his belly. “You’re so damn beautiful,”

“You too,” you said out of breath. The wet and loving trail followed your breasts, where he sucked, licked and nibbled like a hungry and spoiled man, making you purr like a cat and your pussy squeeze for him. Your legs caged him and you pulled him for a terrifying kiss full of tongue and teeth crashing, you wanted him so much, you needed him so much. Your hand pulled his beautiful hair while gently scratching the light skin of his shoulder, making him moan and grind against your pussy. “Billy,” you sighed expectantly, every vein of your body burning in eagerness to receive you.

He moved away weakly to remove the last piece of his body and put on the condom, smoothing your leg before adjusting to your entrance. Your eyes closed when he felt him enter and a moan left your throat in the sensation. Billy was slow to push on you, but just as noisy. He held your thighs before moving gradually, at a deliciously slow and constant pace, making you relax and squeeze on his perfect cock.

“Mmm Billy.”

He moaned deeply as he leaned over your body to capture your lips in a quick and superficial kiss, sinking into your neck as he continued to slowly fuck your body. Your legs caged him when the friction of their bodies became too terrifying to hold, so stupidly good to be real, so affectionate and hot that it made you shipwreck with pleasure. His speed increased when you started to squeeze him more intensely, getting lost in yous body and in your hot and wet grip.

"So good… fuck.”he praised you close to your ear, contributing to the construction of your majestic peak that made you moan loudly and twitch belos him with fire burning your body and clear lights blinding your sight. You loved him, it was almost certain — or the orgasm made you believe it.

“I'm close,” he warned breathlessly and with wandering movements before cumming with a deep moan, weighing a little on your body, which you willingly left.

You smiled satisfied and happy for the amazing sex and for the whole set of the night, but a weight on your chest appeared soon after to harm your peace. What if that was all he wanted? Just one night. Oh no, please don't! How should you approach the subject without spoiling the most pleasant weather? Luckily for you, he decided to start.

"Did you like it?" A classic question asked when he rolled to your side after discarding the condom.

“Yes, I did, I liked our day today,” you confessed.

"Me too," he brought you to his chest, "could become common, us you know," he suggested with expectation.

"Do you want it too?" Your eyes shone when he asked, "because I would love to. Us."

Billy smiled, cradling you even closer, his eyes as bright as yours.

"It's a mach, then."

———————————

ewanverse taglist: @aemonds-fire @partypoison00 @schniiipsel @fan-godess

general: @chompchompluke @kravitzwhore @partypoison00

[i-smoke-chapstick]

I was grazing through the jervis x reader tag when I stumbled across your account. I read over your rules and what fandoms(characters) you write for and was wondering if I could either get headcanons or just a story, whichever is easier, if Jervis tetch (Benedict Samuel’s version) spotting fem or gn reader who has dwarfism( and if you’re not sure with writing this, it can just be a really short reader), hanging about with Jim (Either can be Jim’s sibling or close friend up to you) and is instantly just “😍🫣”. This can be during the breakout episode with the j squad. He starts trying to get close to them without getting arrested by Jim, leaving rhyme like letters for them, flowers, etc. Reader takes the letters to Jim who instantly knows who it is cause who else rhymes like that? Reader is then unsure about Jervis’s actions, thinking they aren’t real feelings since he is technically mad and messed up in the head and they are hella shy and insecure for obvious reasons.

I just realized I’m reflecting a little here. Sorry 💀. Basically I have dwarfism and it’s lovely to read others interpretations on people who have it. Not just readers who are short but actually have the disability.

You can either continue from here or cut it to an ending btw. Sfw or NSFW is both fine with me. Thank ya tons! And I’ll understand if ya can’t or just don’t want too!

'WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME TOMORROW,

-GOTHAM!JERVIS TETCH X DWARF!READER-

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; Jervis is intrigued, obsessed, and very deeply in love.

⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!jervis x dwarf!female reader. Anon who sent this- thank you for entrusting me!! I absolutely love obsessed Jervis teehee. warning for pretty obsessive behavior. (jer has no sense of boundaries)

♫ “Tonight, you're mine completely. / Can I believe the magic of your sighs?” Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? by Amy Winehouse

You've heard the whispers from Jim. He's been freaking the fuck out, for lack of better words. Not just one mad man on the loose- but three. You tell him there's a mad men on the loose every other day...it's Gotham. He just sighs.

Three of the big bads escaped Arkham last night- only one of which who you'd met personally a few months back. Though, you remember it like it was yesterday.

You were in the GCPD with Gordan and Harvey when it happened. You typically avoided the place- the guys there were assholes. You heard all the same comments before, about how you looked. Thank god for Harvey and Jim- especially Harvey, who had chewed a cadet out for laughing.

Jim had holed himself up with a girl named Alice Tetch. He had advised you came to the GCPD that day, horrible idea, you had to admit. "It's for your own protection." He said, but had left you out of the interrogation room by yourself.

You facepalmed as you watched the officers do there work awkwardly. Every now and again you'd catch one staring and you'd grimace.

It came to a head when you heard a strange circus-like music playing. And then your jaw dropped when two wrestlers stood up on the desks, followed by the loud intercom of a voice overhead.

"Ladies and gentlemen! It is with great excitement that we welcome you to our show..."

And then a cop fell from the top floor and splat on Harvey's desk. Yep. Great idea Jim.

You felt yourself shaking- watching the scene unfold before you in chaos and horror. You backed up into the door- unable to move or run.

Suddenly- turning to your left, a man came into your vision. You had to look up to see him; tall and dark with a top hat.

He cocked his head as he looked down on you, eyebrows pulled together. You swallowed, and after a beat of silence, a strange smile broke out on his face.

He seemed to be studying you, paused in his movements.

"Hello." He greeted, curtly. It was as though he was making a mental note of you. Before you knew it, you were being pushed to the side- and made his way right into the interrogation room.

You feared for Jim, but he always had it handled. So...you ran towards a back exit and booked it.

Your luck would have it that now, in the present, Jervis Tetch (that's what you eventually learned his name was) was fiending for a new obsession. That just happened to be you.

The Arkham breakout happened just earlier last night, and you've found numerous letters, flowers, even an antique pocket watch, and light blue dress tailored to your size. Every where you went in your day-to-day a gift was tastefully and subtly placed.

"With every beat, my soul's unrest,

In dreams of you, I am obsessed,

In Gotham's night, you're my desire,

My precious door-mouse, in this world of fire."

Okay- well, a bit cheesy. The letters read...interesting poems. You found it strangely flattering.

You hadn't figured who it was until you begrudgingly went back to the GCPD to tell Jim- who gaped at you. At first, he was hellbent that this was Jervis trying to lure you in, kill you as punishment for the whole Alice situation.

You too found the whole situation confusing. But as the days continued to go by with more and more and more unique gifts and oddly heartfelt poems, it was getting a tad too real.

No, Jervis was most definitely infatuated with you.

Now, you're in your apartment. And you hear a gentle knock at the door.

You open a single latch, allowing you to peak out the creak before letting the visitor in.

You have to look up once again to see him, and you're blood runs both cold and hot and the man. He must stand at least two feet taller than you- looking deep into your eyes with the smile of a gentleman.

"May I come in?" He chirps, gleefully. Against your better judgement, you step away from the door, standing on your toes to unlock it.

He makes his way in, hands clasped together. He scans your apartment, noting his gifts strewn about. Even the flowers he bought you in a vase. His smile widens.

"Hello, my dear." He turns to you, happily. "I see you've gotten my gifts."

"Um, yeah." You manage to speak, sucking your teeth and fidgeting. Before you know it, one of your small hands is being engulfed by his own. He kneels down before you, so you're on the same level.

"Well?" He prompts, squeezing your hand gently. "What do you think, my dear door-mouse?"

"They were....really nice, actually." You speak- and flinch out of his hold. His brows furrow when you do this.

The first thing to run through his mind is that you don't reciprocate the feelings of infatuation. That's how Alice was. He wouldn't have any qualms hypnotizing you, that's for sure. But it would be nice to be appreciated.

You can tell by the offended look on his face what he's thinking, and rush to explain.

"No, no! I...I loved them. I guess, I'm just not sure why you're interested in me?" You nod to yourself. Not just referencing your disability- but your lack of any real conversation with the man.

His face lights up again in understanding.

"Ah! Trivial, my dear. On the contrary, I find you maddeningly lovely." He speaks- and forces his hand onto yours again.

All you can do is nod- a million thoughts racing in your head. You're sure he's crazy, but you find it...kind of nice.

He's incredibly handsy, sitting on his knees in front of you, manhandling you a bit. Before you know it, he's pulling you into him, spouting words of affirmation and nuzzling into you like a cat.

Briefly, you think of what Jim might have to say if he finds out about this and tense.

You realize this is just the beginning.

[erikiara80]

Theory: Jancy’s first lie scene is also about Jopper and the curse

I was rewatching Murray scenes in S2 and S3 and I noticed something in this one I never did before. This could be a big evidence that young Jopper, or at least Hop, are really cursed and that they probably were together in the og timeline.

I talk about the possible hints that they were married and are Will and El’s parents here

So, I think the first parallel/connection is when Nancy and Jon mention the theory that El is russian (later they also drink vodka)

This is foreshadowing of Jopper’s storyline in S4, not Jancy’s. Hopper is in Russia, Joyce gets a doll from him but Murray suspects it might be pregnant with an explosive device. Something Owens compares El to a few episodes later. And interestingly the doll is actually “pregnant” with the message that Hopper is alive.

Then the first lie scene. If the vodka and the mention of Russia are foreshadowing of Jopper’s storyline in S4, this could be about their past

After Nancy and Jon say that they're just friends, Murray laughs. "You told me a lot of shockers today but that... that is the first lie.”

That reminded me of the First Shadow. In my defence, I couldn’t make the connection before they announced the prequel, lol.

And @chirpsythismorning noticed something very interesting. The song that plays when Hopper is stuck in the tunnels in S2 is Shadow in the tunnel. That doesn’t mean that he is the shadow, but that he is associated with it. 

Nancy insists: "It's not a lie." Murray: "No? You're young, attractive, you've got chemistry, history. Plus, the real shit. Shared trauma." This could be about young Jopper too. Because we know that something bad happened way before 1983. In 1959, the year Hopper said he started to feel cursed.

Murray continues and tells Jon (our Hopper here): "Trust issues, am I right? Something to do with your dad." 

"No, I mean, my dad is..." 

Nancy: "An asshole." This is about Lonnie, but it could also be about Hopper's father, who thought his son was a piece of shit.

@shippingfangirl013​ I have to quote you here:  And the “my dad is…” “An asshole” Paired with the “well they must have gotten married for some reason” in S1. “I wasn’t around for that part” = Jonathan’s parents being in love.

Yep.

And then Murray mentions a curse: “It's a curse to see so clearly."

First lie, First Shadow, and a curse...

Hopper is the only character who’s been saying since S1 that he feels like he’s cursed. In S4 he even says that HE is the curse. And Jo pointed out that episode 4x02, Vecna’s curse, starts with Hopper apparently dying, only to reveal that he’s actually alive. Hm, stuck in a loop, maybe? I’m working on a post about Hopper and the curse, but I’ll just say that after he wakes up in 4x02, we see Max wake up too, from a Vecna nightmare, we see the poster of The Endless Summer and hear the clock-bike sound effect. Here the video.

But back to Murray and the first lie. It’s Nancy’s turn. Murray tells her that she wants safety (like Joyce)

Then another big parallel with Jopper. The We like Steve (Bob) But we don’t love Steve (Bob) 

Murray calls Nancy out. Saying that she loves Steve (Bob) is the second lie of the evening (and so is Joyce not being with Jim, the man she loves)

As Kayla says: Safety = Bob = MK Ultra manipulation, because of the flashbacks she has in S3 after being around Hopper.

Then THIS poster. It never made much sense to me when I thought about Jancy. But it makes a lot of sense if the scene is not just about them, but a parallel with Jopper and Hopper, the cursed one.

Here another parallel. Murray tells Nancy and Jon to have sex. The same thing he tells Joyce and Hopper in S3.

(red and yellow here, El and Will’s colors)

And I think this is important. That night Nancy and Jonathan GET together, and we don’t see the poster when they kiss, because they're not the ones that are cursed. Hopper and Joyce Maldonado are. The part with Murray is the parallel with Jopper’s past. Someone has been watching them for a very long time.

Note: The poster is a Big Brother poster. Brother, The lost brother, the original title of The Lost sister, an episode with tons of references to One and the lab (here, here and here)

Kayla also made another great connection with the song at the end of S2, Every breath you take. Maybe it’s not just about Will or El. It’s about their family. They’re all there. Will, El, Jonathan, Hopper and Joyce.

And the last words we hear before the last shot, the Mind Flayer looming over the school: Oh don’t you see? You belong to me

(Water is always involved too, right? Sorry, just wanted to point it out)

So, in conclusion I think that this Jancy scene is Jopper coded and maybe it tells us what happened to them. 

The question is: why is Hopper cursed? Were he and the others there, Joyce, Bob, maybe Scott Clarke, when the exorcism happened and something went wrong? Or maybe they stopped Betty, who wanted to help Henry, because they wanted to protect her (if she's really Bob's sister it makes sense) But without her help, something horrible happened. Or maybe something bad happened to her.

I feel like Hopper did something that changed everything. Maybe he thought he was doing the right thing but he was wrong and made things worse. We’ll see!

Anyway, I really like this theory. Tagging you too @lilitblaukatz​ 

[atlas-plugged]

Atlas Shrugged Read-Through: PP 14-20

Our first introduction to the primary antagonist of Atlas Shrugged, Jim Taggart, is with him sitting at his desk saying "Don't bother me, don't bother me, don't bother me."

The unpleasant task that Eddie Willers has been facing is coming into Jim's office to tell him that a delivery of steel that has been delayed multiple times will be delayed again. Jim ordered the steel from his friend, Orren Boyle, who runs Associated Steel. Jim insists to Eddie that he won't hear of ordering the metal from the competing company, Rearden Steel, run by Hank Rearden. Taggart Transcontinental needs the steel because their Rio Norte line is too damaged to keep safely running trains on, and they are being outcompeted in the region by a small, local railroad called the Phoenix-Durango. Eddie is telling Jim to make a decision because the regional line supports the oil operation of Ellis Wyatt.

All of these are important characters and business that will come up a lot but they're not the real focus of this scene. The real focus of this scene is making Jim Taggart look like a big throbbing asshole, which is how you're supposed to think of him.

Here are a few of his lines from this brief scene:

"Who's thinking of giving up the Rio Norte Line?" he asked. "There's never been any question of giving it up. I resent your saying it. I resent it very much."

"Orren is my friend." He heard no answer. "I resent your attitude. Orren Boyle will deliver that rail just as soon as it's humanly possible. So long as he can't deliver it, nobody can blame us."

"Ellis Wyatt is a greedy bastard who's after nothing but money," said James Taggart. "It seems to me that there are more important things in life than making money."

"I think he's a destructive, unscrupulous ruffian. I think he's an irresponsible upstart who's been grossly overrated." It was astonishing to hear a sudden emotion in James Taggart's lifeless voice. "I'm not so sure that his oil fields are such a beneficial achievement. It seems to me that he's dislocated the economy of the whole country. Nobody expected Colorado to become an industrial state. How can we have any security or plan anything if everything changes all the time? [...] Yes, I know, I know, he's making money. But that is not the standard, it seems to me, by which one gauges a man's value to society. And as for his oil, he'd come crawling to us. and he'd wait his turn along with all the other shippers, and he wouldn't demand more than his fair share of transportation—if it weren't for the Phoenix-Durango. We can't help it if we're up against destructive competition of that kind. Nobody can blame us."

Jim Taggart is aggrieved. He is whiny, he doesn't accept responsibility for his actions, he resents people who are more active than he is (at least if they make demands on his time or cost him business by shifting their purchases to his competitors).

Jim is not written well, but the way that he is poorly written is interesting. Rand's big bad guy is an industrialist who doesn't take responsibility for his actions and who wants other people to do all of the hard work.

I'm going to get right to the big reveal in the middle of the book: Jim and the Moochers force through a law that means that nobody can compete with them. Other railroads shut down, new innovative companies have to give their capital to older businesses.

On the one hand, I think there's something clever that Rand is doing here. Jim and the Moochers use what is essentially "weaponized wokeness" (mealy-mouthed speeches about collectivism) to place themselves at the head of state-backed monopolies. They're not evil just because they're whiny and don't take responsibility, they're evil because they can use the power of the state to crush competitors, which also allows them to exploit workers and consumers.

On the other hand: I can't tell if Rand is being stupid or malicious in attributing the motivations for these actions to a collectivist impulse.

She clearly, obviously, deeply hated collectivism. But when each of her characters are revealed down to the nastiest, darkest parts of themselves it's revealed that their collectivist talk was meant to cover up personal greed. So I can't tell: stupid or malicious? Is she being stupid, and genuinely doesn't believe that anyone who talks about or works toward communal goods and shared resources actually wants those things? Or is she being malicious and suggesting that all people who claim to want to do things for the benefit of everyone are actually greedy and are trying to burn down the rest of the world so that they can stand on a slightly nicer bit of the ashes?

I haven't read much of Rand's non-fiction, or watched too many interviews with her, but I know that at one point she discussed the evils of altruism by saying that the Nazis were motivated by altruism. That seems like it's pulling a pretty bullshit rhetorical trick and defining "nationalism" as "altruism." And that's what she does with the evil characters in her books - makes them do terrible things while saying that they're doing so for the good of mankind when everybody knows the score. It's a bullshit rhetorical trick.

And this is how we're introduced to Jim Taggart. He's a wealthy industrialist who is whining to his sister's assistant that he can't be blamed that his friend is late with a delivery of steel. And I think Jim Taggart is a pretty good example of Rand being more malicious than stupid. We're going to learn a lot about his motivations and desires throughout the book and they come together to make a laboriously crafted strawman of an evil capitalist.

Anyway. Eddie walks out of their meeting after Jim insults his own sister; Eddie at that point finds an old clerk repairing a typewriter (one that has been repaired before and is made of inferior materials - planned obsolescence; a subject that I will have to yell about somewhere else) and asking Eddie if he knows where anyone can get woolen undershirts. Jim's office has been a break from the most visceral reminders of the bleak, slow-motion collapse of the economy that Eddie is confronted with as soon as he's out of the room again, and he is once again bothered by the question "Who is John Galt?" - the question that opened the novel in the mouth of a bum - as the introductory scene of the novel ends.

[fanficwriter284]

Just a random quick write

“Chucky please”

“No I ain’t doing it”

“Come on, her husbands only here for a few days all I’m asking for you is to hang out with him”

Chucky’s frown only deepened, his eyes squinting at his wife. He wanted nothing to do with his neighbor, or her son, he hadn’t met her husband but if he was willing to marry that raging lunatic, then he was crazier than him.

“Nope, I told ya woman I ain’t doing it”

“Fine then I’m telling that we can host the kids play date here.”

Chucky nearly choked on his drink. He hated hosting, it was a literal living hell. So many children and their chatty parent’s desperate to converse with each other.

“NO FINE FINE I’ll do it…Jesus”

Tiffany let out a sly smirk raising her brow, giving her husband a satisfied peck on the cheek.

“Come on it’s not that bad…plus it’s the neighborly think to do”

“Fuck that shit Tiff, what am I American?”

“Yes you are”

“Not at heart Tiff. In Germany we don’t fucking do that shit.”

Tiffany only responded with an eye roll as she trailed up the stairs.

…

Chucky had just been sitting on his couch drinking a Canada Dry, since he thought it would be appropriate, and go for a smooth first interaction. He felt his body straighten hearing the doorbell.

“Let’s get this shit over with”

He forced himself off his couch and reluctantly opened the door. He was met with lime eyes, sandy locks, and a toothy smile.

“Hey there names Jim”

Chucky shook the man’s hand raising a bore, this was different, he was expecting a self-absorbed asshole. Bu this was different.

"Charles, but I'd rather you call me Chucky or Chuck I don't really care"

"Pleasure to meet ya Chuck"

''...uh Yeah Likewise"

"Sorry for intruding I know you probably don't want me here...so I brought drinks"

"...Come on in"

The two chatted for a while watching a soccer game while sipping on some booze. The sweetness still lingering on their tongues.

"Haha look man I gotta admit I hated the thought of you swinging by, but you're actually a pretty chill guy....can't say the same for your wife though"

"Haha yeah yeah I though so...wait you mean my Ex Wife?"

Chucky nearly choked on his drink, he heard from McKenzie herself that she was married.

"Ex? I thought you two were married?"

"HA! To that entitled bitch? No thankfully I got out of that hell whole. That woman still refers to me as her husband? The audacity the bitch cheated on me...hehe gotta admit I was kinda relieved finally got me an excuse to get out"

"DAMN...wait so is Urhighness your kid?"

"Yeah....."

"...Fucckkk ok I can't lie to you....that kid is a fucking nuisance"

"Heh yeah, after his mom got to him his turned into a spoiled ass brat"

"Yeah....ok I gotta....why the name Urhighness"

"I've been asking that same question for the last 14 years Chuck...His mothers a real piece of work."

"You got that right"

[finch-the-foolish]

Credits to @tallowandport for this concept! Hope it's alright that I wrote things based on the idea- also @a-stale-croissant (praying you're the right one lol) you asked for a ping from anyone who wrote things, so uh here.

Strings

Warnings for self-depreciation, intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts, mockery, some self harm/mutilation towards the end (though nothing really gorey)

For what felt like the millionth time, they were laughing at him. The other emperors stared down at Jimmy, eyes lighting up with a terrible cruelty with each "joke" they threw.

"C'mon guys, show our little sheriff some respect!" Fwhip grinned, gesturing dramatically to Jimmy.

"How can I show him respect if I can't even see him from up here?" Joel asked, letting out a laugh–sharp edged and clear in its malice.

Jimmy let out an irritated growl, an angry tension growing within him. Every day, they mocked him; every day, he suffered through it.

And every day, he fell apart a little more.

He couldn't stop the mockery and disrespect and false friendship and outright hatred, no matter how hard he had tried. And yet, he kept trying, kept desperately reaching for allies, desperately trying to make even one real friend.

"What, is the toy man angry?" The god cocked his head, face twisting with an awful smile as laughter bubbled up from the others.

"I'm. Not. A. To-"

A sharp pain shot through his back, dragging him backwards a half step. The string, that godforsaken string that had hung from his back ever since they had turned him into nothing more than a living puppet, nothing more than- than a toy.

The effect was almost immediate–he could feel the words bubbling up in his throat, filling his chest and choking out what little air he could gather. He tensed, one hand rising in a vain attempt at stopping whatever foolish phrase was about to seep from his lungs.

But he couldn't stop it. He could never stop it.

He couldn't stop anything, it seemed.

Against his will, Jimmy drew in a shuddering breath, the words falling out a moment later.

"Nobody cares about me."

The laughter slowed, quieted, though Jimmy didn't seem to notice. He didn't seem to grasp the words at first, either, mind struggling to process what he'd said.

Then, slowly, the realization dawned on him. He tensed, stumbled back a step, one hand drawing up and lightly covering his mouth. His wings pulled back, panic starting to dawn in the sudden chaos of his mind.

That... that was not normal. It was always some stupid catchphrase that pulled from his chest when some asshole pulled the string, not this. Not the dark, awful thoughts that rolled through his every waking hour, tormenting him nearly as much as the others did.

"Jimmy?" Gem whispered, voice all too loud against the silence, yet nearly lost to the fear growing within his mind.

The sheriff said nothing, merely drawing back another step, his free hand gathering up that damned string; the other still held over his mouth, as if holding back the rush of terrible thoughts swirling past.

"Jim, are you alright?" Another voice sounded, a hand grasping his arm. He barely processed who it was, immediately flinching back.

"D.. don't touch me," he hissed, feathers puffing slightly. "Don't.."

"Jimmy, please."

He flinched away from another hand, before abruptly opening his wings, taking off into the sky. He.. he needed to get away. He needed to be alone.

He needed that damn string gone.

It seemed moments later that he was back in Tumble Town, curled up in some hidden building. He barely felt connected to reality, barely felt real himself.

And yet, somehow, the pain felt all too real as he pulled at the string, motions erratic as he tried over and over to rip it from his back. The words tumbled from his lips with each attempt, sharp pains dragging through his spine in company, each motion drawing him closer to the edge.

"Everyone hates me."

"I'm just a curse."

"I'm just a toy."

"I have no worth."

"Nobody loves me."

And, with an awful finality,

"I don't deserve to live."

With that, he broke. His hands fell, shaking from the effort, sobs wracking his small frame. He was just a toy. A worthless, useless little toy in a useless little mesa with no one at all to care. A puppet without strings, a plaything cast aside by all who met him.

All he wanted was to vanish, now, to cast himself into the void and let his code seep away into the nothing. But that would not even bring him rest.

Instead, he merely pulled out a glinting, dark sword, and chopped away that horrifying reminder of his lack of humanity.

[alemonyoyo]

I've been summoned the second I saw that you're a Jathan fan (Jathan world domination 🔥) and I wanted to ask

Do you have any headcanons for them? I have a few (lot) like that Jimmy is banned from the kitchens after he tried baking a cake for Nathan on his birthday and he almost burned down his house

Jathan world domination, Jimmy world domination.

Yeah I have a couple of headcanons for them! They aren't the most forefront Jimmy pairing in my mind (since I have so many haha).

Jathan Hcs:

Nathan realises his feelings for Jimmy at one of their summer camps. Nathan hates camp, and I feel like he gets to a breaking point where he becomes super open about it, snaps at Jimmy etc. This finally opens Jimmy's eyes to how Nathan feels about camp, and sort of puts his prior behaviour into perspective. And from then on he becomes adamantly supportive and helpful when it comes to getting Nathan out of camp activities and stuff. Because Jimmy is just weirdly nice like that yk? Even after all the hate Nathan gives him in that episode, he is still so nice to him.

After Jimmy begins helping Nathan out with skipping on camp activities, I think Nathan begins to appreciate him more! See's his strengths through the camp activities but also his humility as a person. Though it is definitely a tsundere affection because Nathan is a total asshole.

Once they come home from camp, Nathan resumes his Looney Tunes like plans upon Jimmy and Timmy, but the plans are far more romantically skewed in the case of Jimmy, to the point where Mimsy is like "Uh, dontcha think this plan is kinda tame boss?" To which Mimsy obviously then gets slapped and told to shut up-

The plans mostly consist of Nathan tricking Jimmy into thinking someone has feelings for him (fake love letters and gifts), but actually, they are real love letters, Nathan just doesn't know it yet. This hc is totally inspired by this comic as well as this comic.

After they get together (they get together much like in the comics ^^ linked) Nathan is still a bit of an ass to Jimmy. Of course much less so, but he still teases, and is very honest with how he feels about Jimmy's hobbies. This presence of honesty isn't limited to malice though, and Nathan (in private) is a lot more open with his feelings about Jimmy and life in general.

Nathan feels like a very restricted person, someone who holds back their more sensitive feelings on instinct because of their environment. Having never been listened to by his parents, I can see his time with Jimmy being therapeutic in a way, because Jimmy is the intelligent ear to listen (as opposed to Mimsy's unintelligent wall to bounce off of). He is more open about feeling mistreated and infantalized by his parents, and is open with his Jimmy make himself feel inferior at times, because Jimmy is a really talented person! (Ik this is biased cause he's my favourite character but genuinely, he is- Just watch the show!)

Jimmy ofc is so comforting to Nathan, and over time helps him get confidence in himself. After all, Nathan is intelligent and practical, as well as witty. But unlike Jimmy, is realistic. With these traits in mind, Jimmy highlights these and helps Nathan appreciate these traits as things that make him feel capable, and give him the autonomy over his feelings which was taken from him due to the treatment from his parents. Ik this hc list is very much Nathan-focused, mostly because in the past past past I have written extremely thoroughly about Jimmy. But I'll try to pop some more Jim-sided hcs here too!

Jimmy never takes Nathan's jabs to heart. Being the socially intelligent person that he IS (I won't take any criticism, out of everyone in the show I believe he is one of the most socially intelligent people, outside of his comedy ofc-) he can tell that Nathan's jabs are both apart of his affection - as brutal honesty is both a gift and a curse - but is also apart of a self defence mechanism Nathan has built up. Also Jimmy is used to being heckled. It's a part of being a comedian after all-

Jimmy gushes about Nathan to his friends. All of whom don't understand why he even likes Nathan, considering he plotted to kill him on multiple occasions. Timmy is extremely opposed to the idea, but is appreciative of how evidently happy Nathans presence makes Jimmy.

When Jimmy is receiving the fake love letters, he pretends to not know they are Nathans, but he can tell due to the handwriting- He pretends not to know because he knows Nathan has trouble expressing any emotion other than malice, so he gives Nathan the time to ready himself with his feelings.

Jimmy tries to help Nathan with his schemes. But the dynamic is more of a mad evil genius and a goofy mechanic working on some elaborate project. It's entertaining, but they don't get anything done-

Nathan is Jimmy's biggest cheerleader at the special olympics. He will shoot anyone who isn't supporting him.

If Jathan were to happen during the sponsored content trilogy, they would team up to take down Leslie and beat the everloving shit out of her together. Since Jimmy woulda moved on from Leslie by that point-

Jathan tutor one another on the subjects they are bad at. I like to think neither of them is good with English though (except maybe Jimmy with persuasive writings considering his love of journalism [my boy is so talented!]).

Okay, I think that's all I got in me! It's been so so long since I've done a post like this! It's nostalgic. In my personal South Park Golden Age [tm] I wrote posts like this all the time.

Heck, if you did some digging you could find the 2 like ESSAYS with video evidence on Jimmy. Ofc it was Jimmy. Jimmy is my boy.

Thanks for the ask, it was fun delving back into my love for South Park and Jimmy Valmer. I hope this post isn't too messy, as I am well aware this isn't as polished of a hc post as I used to make.

[the-firebird69]

This knife was SO hard to deploy

These people are assholes and they're used they're pulling this knives out and using them and they grabbed them off people or they kill people and grab them and most the time they're Big Macs and they are not getting a lot of them but they're trying to advertise it I guess this is a problem there is a problem the story of Jim Morrison is very disturbing and it is a warning to a lot of people and they had Justin next door and they were telling their people about it and doing things to reduce the idiots most of it is not reduce them enough to make it safe and now they don't have ships and they are trying to go down to build lasers and it's not like a real huge fight yet it's pretty big but down there there are Max and they are not going down as much as they should and they said they're still doing a preliminary investigation so trying to use big stuff about 1,000 attempts in the past day and a half and they're being very annoying here to try and attack it to try and enact it and then fails every time that's just an Australia and a New Zealand they tried 1500 times and they're going to contaminate the whole area and wreck it for others who want to use the diamonds and they say it will affect the diamonds and the answer is yes you cannot radiate them without them weakening and Dave said why we doing it the answers you're not very bright and we want to use them too why don't you guys just get rid of yourselves you said this it's really that bad and it is it takes a lot but those things would have a lot of radiation it's different in space but after 5 years you have to replace windshield so there's your example and they're talking about it in North Port you guys were so he said we have to stop telling people off so he put a package together and sent it to his and Trump found it but they're still doing it and a lot more and this was the problem they don't seem to be after making a big laser but then he goes to Titan it looks like he builds a big laser so what can you do we build a big lasers but still usually it falls pretty quick and he wants to hit Earth and stuff and blow things up they figured out this kind of stupid and they can't be trusted and him trying to bring nukes down is proof and the max say we've had enough you have to stop doing it it's way too many times and they have huge numbers of them made for trying about 5 hours when it's dark so in mad Max they show them driving around trying to dump a nuke down there and people say it do not contaminate our diamonds and it says hours people in carth and Africans and they say we don't want the diamonds in there and stuff like that well we think to try to do is contaminate the caverns so people don't go there and try and fill it up with ordinance and a lot of it too and hit it and just keep hitting those things that they put ordinance into so it's kind of a weird deal because they expose themselves already real bad and the whole world is going after them and they keep opening their mouths and say it's almost all over and then I was told no we're going after your ordinance all of it and he keeps saying so I think that he goes pretty quick compared to what people think but all the more I could do in this stupid crap and it happened for years we have some numbers in

-the pseudo empire was getting attacked in the Western hemisphere their bunkers are down to 35%, that's our areas of operation and general areas and surface bases

Thor Freya

Olympus

[bruciemilf]

ACTUALLY, you guys WILL listen to my Bruce & Officer Martinez brain rot because they have Peak " grumpy sunshine " and " asshole sunshine" dynamic and I'm not letting it go

Here's the thing about Jim Gordon; He has patience; He has tact. But he's also a petty shit, and God almighty, he WARNED Batman to stop his solo crime busting for extra dangerous cases

So yes; He gestures to Martinez, sugar cream on his moustache, files overfilling his arms. He tries to wave. They fall everywhere. ''This is your divine punishment "

"... Did you really just refer to Martinez as a punishment?"

" Honestly, I'm just happy to be included!"

Martinez is still SUPER sketchy about Batman, but of course he freaks out in the Batmobile; Yes, it's from the back-seat, but it still MATTERS, - " You know, my aunt is actually a mechanic, and-"

And that's the second thing Bruce writes about him in his profile journal; First thing being 'Talks too much.' Second is Family man.

But he actually listens to everything because it's comforting to know Gotham allows some love to survive.

And Bruce REFERENCES all stories. When they investigate different sources he's like " This is a professional dismemberment. We should ask your brother's opinion"

" My brother?" " I'd ask mine, but I don't have one." " No asshole I mean - you know my brother's a surgeon? You listen to me?" " I always listen."

FIGHTING OVER THE RADIO! GIVE IT TO ME! BECAUSE YOU JUST KNOWWWW BRUCE PLAYS THREE DAYS GRACE AND SKILLET AND MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

" you listen to this shit??? Unironically?? THIS is REAL music" and then-

" GIMME GIMME GIMME A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT-"

And also a ton of Nicki Minaj. " PULL UP IN THE MONSTER AUTOMOBILE GANGSTA-"

Bruce almost rearranges his whole skeleton right there; Martinez eventually figures out that it's Bruce's special interest so he apologises, " I'm sorry I called you out on your terrible taste. We can listen to that Bridge song or whatever"

*shaking with rage* " It's. Not. Called. That."

Literally give me Martinez whining Bruce's ear off until they reach a drive through, and Bruce is just standing there like a STATUE

Martinez leveled up to front seats and is rubbing his hands together like a greedy gremlin, but Bruce does Not move. " Welcome to Bat Burger can I take your order? Hello?" And Bruce is just. Petrified

" Can I had- have, can I - um,"

" what was that?"

" ... Burger"

He pins Martinez face to headboard and makes him SWEAR he won't tell anyone about it but Martinez is too busy laughing his ass off

Martinez always talking about Bruce, - He gave my sister a job as a security guard after she got out of prison. Murdering her rapist, you know how it is

"... I don't, actually." " Well yeah, you grew up in the good part of town, probably" "There's no good part. Only good coincidences."

"... Oh yeah, you're DEFINETLY rich."

Martinez and Selina strangers to enemies, 500k words, slow burn.

Martinez is a dog boy and she's a cat girl. It was expected. She kicks his seat in the Batmobile and he readjusts his chair as LOW as possible just to annoy her

" Crazy cat lady KNOWS something. "

" Don't call her that."

" I don't have to, her smell does it for me, - wait. Are you... Are you HOT for her? SERIOUSLY?"

And so what if Bruce's fast feels hot under his cowl? " Now's not really the time for a jealous scene."

" Oh I'M not jealous, bro. She's in your pants, I'm your emergency contact and organ donor. We aren't even in the same highway."

" ...When did you do that?"

" We don't have time to talk about all that-"

Martinez super casually mentioning he knows Bruce's identity. " Thanks for your help, Mr. Wayne"

[SHOCKED SILENCE]

" How... How did you?"

" BRO. I'd know that jawline in death."

[nygmobblepot-trash]

Halloween Special. Sorry its a mess but I wanted to write something. I'm still trying to figure out the main fic. This was honestly supposed to be them making fun of each other but it got very real very fast.

Description: Oswald has a Halloween party. Ed against Jim's wishes crashes the party. Ed seems to be up to no good as the night goes from bad to worse as it seems the fight between Ed and Oswald can only ever end in blood.

*1 week before Halloween*

Jim calling Oswald: "Listen Oswald I'm going to get straight to the point because I hate having to do this every year. As we all know holidays are when Gotham is its worse. And since I know Nygma recently got out of jail I'm sure you two are dying to do your therapy sessions in public. But for the sake of everyone in Gotham I am begging you not to. This isn't a challenge either I am very aware both of you consider yourselves above the law. Anyways I got my hands full with whatever Valeska is doing so please for one night, behave."

Oswald: "1st of all how dare you think I care whatsoever about that asshole. I didn't even know he was released. I have washed my hands of him. You should be calling him. He's the one who keeps crawling back to me ready to start shit. I run an empire, you know, I can't just allow him to get away with it. Regardless I plan to have a small party, drink too much wine, and be in bed by 11pm. No excitement from me."

Jim: "Whatever you want to tell yourself Os. I'm just warning you." *click*

Jim now calling Ed: "Which one am I talking to?"

Ed: "...Riddler."

Jim: "Thank God maybe I have a chance. Listen Ed. You need to keep Riddler away forever if possible but at least till after Halloween. I can't deal with you two... well technically three I guess counting Os.. fighting this year. Take this chance to better yourself, maybe get rid of the Riddler for good. Try and make up for all the damage he caused. I want to believe you can still be good Ed."

Ed: "Sure thing. Its about time I take control back of my life. I found someone who I think can fix me. I'm on my way to find them, I'm actually no longer in Gotham."

Jim: "I'm happy to hear that Ed. Good luck and good night." *click*

*Halloween night at 10pm*

Gordon watches Oswald's party as it is the last possible site for trouble. The alive Valeska brother was brought into custody hours before.

Oswald is now on his second bottle of wine.

Jim watches as the group near the exit suddenly go quiet. Their eyes seem to switch between Oswald (who can barely stand at the moment) and whoever just joined the party. He gets ready to draw his gun at a very likely assassination attempt. He expects Zasz or even Butch, better yet he wishes it was as the crowd makes way for the so called genius of Gotham.

"This isn't therapy, Ed." Jim yells.

Edward Nygma in full costume as Oswald Cobblepot (He has the spiked hair, black eyeliner, and everything): "Edward Nygma is at therapy. I'm attending my own party which I paid for by embezzling large amounts of money."

Gordon quickly glances at where the real Oswald was moments ago but sighs a breath of relief when he isn't there. "OK you've made your point. Leave before I have to break you two up."

"Oswald I was wonderin' when you were goin' show up to your own partyyy. I came here alllll alone because you're my only friend. I would never openly admit to that though. I waited all night for you." Jim heard Oswald slur from behind him. Jim didn't need to turn around to know Oswald had changed into an Edward Nygma costume.

Oswald (Ed): "Well you know me! I got too carried away with the wine and lost track of time. I was out busy killing the new thing that made you happy. Now you only have me to love! I don't understand why would be mad at me for that."

Ed (Oswald): "HOW DARE YOU?! I just met her and she looks like my dead ex. We belonged together. Its not like we had history saving each other's lives. Its not like I made the man you are today. You were never changed into a confidant genius who took no shit from anyone. You have always been the smart, scared, little boy that no one likes."

By this point all the guests had left except the detective who lost his will to live, the genius, and a drunk penguin.

Jim grabbing a drink from the bar: "This truly is their idea of therapy."

Oswald (Ed) quietly: "You... you truly did mean that much to me. I did so much for you and you still felt entitled to all my attention."

Ed (Oswald): "You were going to leave me. After everything we had been through you were going to leave me for someone you had just met."

Ed taking off the wig and fake nose: "I was scared. That night when I met Isabella-" The real Oswald takes another swing of his bottle at the mention of her name. "deep down I... or should I saw we knew what was going to happen. I'm not the best at social ques or love for that matter, but I knew. The way you looked at Riddler, complimented him, lingered in an embrace for just a few seconds too long, I knew it because I saw myself in you. Riddler and I tried to pretend it wasn't happening and focus on being your perfect advisor. We wanted to react what you said in the moment for once instead of already knowing the exact conversation ahead of time."

Oswald laughed, pain and alcohol were heavy in his voice: "You knew and still picked her over me."

Ed: "I need to finish Oswald. Please. Then she showed up and I panicked. I took control over the Riddler. I had a chance of going back to my own life and getting it right this time. So I tried while Riddler warned me what I would do. But I didn't do it because I wasn't capable of that. As long as I didn't need to protect myself she would be fine. I enjoyed playing house for a while. Riddler didn't like it at all. I believe he still wanted to go back to you. All I wanted, all I needed was to pretend for a little while. We all know I couldn't live like that forever. Oswald if you had just controlled your jealousy I bet I would've come back to you. But you robbed me of my choice, of my happiness for your own. That isn't love. It's possession. No one controls us."

Oswald: "Ed we've been over this. I proved myself over and over. And you still chose to betray me again and again."

Ed: "I can never tell anymore! You say one thing to my face and another behind my back. We are all so obsessed by not being hurt by one another we have to be the one to act first. I'm tired Oswald. Riddler enjoys the game still but I'm over it. You know we're all perfect for each other. Our punishment is to torture each other for eternity. I can't do this anymore. I won't do this anymore. For real this time, Oswald. I know we each have our final speeches for what it seems at least once a month, but I can't do it anymore." Ed pulls out a gun from his pocket. "For what it's worth, I've always admired you."

Jim pulls his gun out again: "Ed stop. This isn't how to settle this."

Ed looks sadly at Jim: "You know us, Jim. This is how we do this. Once and for all Oswald. I have decided..." Ed sets the gun on the floor. "that you get decide what happens next." Ed kicks the gun to Oswald. "I created Riddler because I wanted to be like you. You molded him to be like you and destroyed me in the process. Now I get to let you finish the job and destroy both of us. Here's the catch though. Riddler doesn't want to die especially not at the hands of Oswald Cobblepot. He's doing his best to take control and get the upper hand on you. I have my own gun. I won't use it, but he will. I don't have much time Oswald so you better act fast."

Oswald picks up the gun and stares at it. "How does this end? I know you've ran every possibility in your head. So tell me, what do I do?"

Ed shrugs: "You're heavily intoxicated. The first shot grazes my temple. Jim tries to fire at your hand before that but comes to find his gun has lost all of its bullets. Your second shot is the winner." Ed points to the middle of his left eyebrow while Jim quickly checks his gun. "We're never going to stop fighting and you know this. Which is why you decide to let it all end. I dont know if it's revenge or if it is mercy. Or maybe you just refused to be killed by someone named the Riddler.

Oswald readied his gun without emotion. "Fair enough. Goodbye Ed." If Jim and Ed hadn't seen him drinking they would've guessed he was completely sober.

Jim got ready to tackle Oswald while Ed smiled and closed his eyes. "I leave it all to you, old friend."

Oswald rested his finger on the trigger. Something about Ed's tone was off.

"Oswald stop!" Jim commanded as he ran towards Oswald.

As Jim closed in. Ed's (or was it Riddler's) eyes shot open. Oswald smiled as whoever it was pointed his own gun at Oswald. "You were wrong." Oswald moved out of Jim's path at the last second. Jim turned around to try again but to his surprise Oswald shoved the gun into his hands.

"Weak." Riddler spat.

"Unfortunately." Oswald shrugged. "But thanks to Ed, I know you are too. I think I know why you enjoy our games."

"Enlighten me."

"You love me, but you think love is a weakness. You watched it destroy Ed and you refuse to be weak like him. You refuse to make up with me, but you also refuse to let me die. The part of you that hates me, the part you think is the strongest actually isn't. If it was I'd be dead right now. You think the part of you that loves me is your weakness, but it isn't. No matter how hard you try your hate never wins. With no side winning we are stuck in this endless game. Both sides get what they want at times before it is all taken away. You get close to me, you get scared again, you sabotage, I refuse to kill you, you refuse to kill me, repeat the cycle over and over again."

"That. Is. Not. True."

Oswald laughs. "It is. I think Ed planned all of this. He lied when he told me how this would end. He trusted me to figure out his plan. He thought this is what would finally get through to you."

"... that isn't possible!"

"He said I destroyed him and he wants the same for you. Love destroyed Ed Nygma. He doesn't want me to shoot you. He wants me to love you again."

"I won't be destroyed by you."

"We're both stronger than that. We both know who we are. Ed hid a part of himself from that woman. That's what ruined it all. No more lies or hiding. You know together we'd be the strongest pair in Gotham. If Ed and I are wrong then you can kill me, but we all know you won't. We all know Ed isn't wrong. I'm sorry. I promise to never make decisions for you again, but I will not stand by and let you lie to yourself." Oswald stepped in front of Gordon who is ready to shoot Riddler. "Do what you're going to do. Just promise me you won't ever regret your decision, Riddler."

"Y-you called me by my name." Riddler's hand wavered.

"Unfortunately I love you and that ridiculous name." Oswald sighed.

Riddler started to close the distance. "You pretended to be drunk."

"Took you long enough to figure out. Maybe you aren't that smart after all." Oswald smiled and Riddler stopped in front of him.

Gordon marched over and took Riddler's gun. "You're both incrediblely idiotic. Stop dragging me into your messes. You're lucky that I want to go home instead of arresting you two for whatever you think this was."

"Flirting?" Oswald offered.

"Dueling each other is not flirting." Jim muttered as he left the room.

"Right and getting your dates into situations where they almost die and you have to save them is?" Riddler shot back.

"I heard that Ed. Thin ice." Jim's voice was heard from outside the door.

"Oh no! Thin ice with Jim Gordon, how will I ever survive!" Riddler smiled at Oswald "good thing I have a penguin on my side."

Oswald quickly grabbed onto Ed's tie and pulled hard. "Shut up already."

"Make me."

Oswald did by doing thing he wanted to do ever since the first day they met at the GCPD. As the seconds passed Oswald decided it was worth the wait. Who knew the prick could kiss like that?

[portiaphan]

DV Characters as Things Hannibal Buress Has Said

Alex: "I'm a gangsta, and gangstas don't ask questions." Yes they do ask questions! I thought that was a main point of being a gangster. "Hey, mothafucka, where's my money?" That's a question. "Do you want to die tonight?" That's a question too. "What? What?" That's two questions.

Alva: Gibberish rap is - I freestyle all the time, just hangin' out with friends. And sometimes when I'm freestyling, I'll lose my flow, you know, but I'll still wanna - I don't wanna just stop rapping because I lose my flow. So I'll just put in nonsense words till I can bring in regular words again.

Brielle: I couldn't imagine only being an actor or a writer. Because what the hell do I do when I'm not working? Mope?

Battista: I’m a dumb guy. My point of view is limited.

Bellamy: Why are you booing me? I'm right!

Beau: SIX PACK ABS! TEN PACK ABS! TWELVE PACK! What if I want an odd number of abs? What if I want a five pack to show people I'm still humble?

Bernadette: My other airport nemesis is airport security. I don't like them at all. They seem so dedicated to keeping bottled water out of the sky.

Calina: I acknowledge that I jaywalked, I apologize not for the act of jaywalking but how my jaywalking made you feel. I'll try not to jaywalk in the future while you're watching but trust that I'll do it for the rest of my life - it's the best way to go about being a pedestrian.

Castora: There's a lot of dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache but don't try to have a conversation with me like you don't have a handlebar mustache.

Catherine: He said, "Man, we are right by the Adige River. These buildings are 200-300 years old, they have rats everywhere. Even the five-star restaurants have rats!" Somehow he made me feel like the asshole for bringing up rats! I don't know what kind of jedi mind trick that was - it confused the hell out of me because I still ended up ordering food then.

Cyrus: So we talk for a little bit. She says stuff, I say stuff, she says stuff, I say stuff. You know how a conversation works.

Celeste: I get upset easily by people. I saw this guy- he was on the phone. He had the phone between the ear and shoulder like that, but he didn't have anything in his hands. Which is really upsetting! Who the hell do you think you are? This action for people that are multitasking. Where's your other task? You're not doing anything else.

Daphne: He'd be the worst real estate agent ever. "Right here we have a 34 bedroom house. Let me show you around the property. Great features to this place, some of the rooms have extra, smaller rooms in them."

Delilah: I was in Scotland for all of August and it was the darkest time of my life. Mostly 'cause they call cookies biscuits. I don't like that at all. It was an incredible culture shock for me, tough to adjust but I tried for a few weeks. Pass me the chocolate chip BISCUITS. Let's have biscuits and milk, everybody. I love Oreo biscuits. But, in the fourth week, I couldn't handle it no more. THOSE ARE COOKIES THOSE AREN'T BISCUITS. Those are cookies. Cookies are cookies and biscuits are biscuits. If you call cookies biscuits, what do you call biscuits 'cause I'm not saying scones.

Everett: I did not move to Verona with a plan. The first time I moved to Verona, I just popped up. My sister was living here in Verona. I just popped up. She had her baby and a husband, and I just popped up. "Hey, what's up? I got $200 and dreams. Let's do this."

Genevieve: I can't just look at a status and move along. I see a status got 36 'likes' — can't accept it got 36 'likes' and move along. I got to click on it and start reading the names of the people that liked it. "Oh, yeah. Jim would 'like' some shit like that."

Grace: Yo ma, money over everything.

Halcyon: Awe man, I gotta get a team. I don't have a team, I just have friends. I call up my friend, "Hey man, I know you're my friend but I need you on my team right now."

Hazel: You have a regular-sized tub and a miniature tub, the sink.

Henry: You never know what could happen when you go into a store - somebody might pull a Tonya Harding on you and break your knee cap. And now you got your knees all fucked up just ‘cause you wanted to get that vinyl.

Hugo: It sounds like God owed someone some money and they couldn’t get to him, so they murked his son. That’s what I really think happened. Jesus got stabbed up in an alley… but it’s easier to sell crucifixes. You can’t sell a pendant of someone getting shanked up in the alley. It’s a marketing scheme.

Ivan: Come to your place at 5:00 in the morning, eat your food, drink your drinks, leave at 6:30 without fucking like it’s cool. That’s a passive burglary.

Isabelle: Two separate charges $400 at Barnes and Noble. Who balls out of control at Barnes and Noble?

Juliana: Believe in yourself like one of those weird-ass clothing stores that only have six shirts in them. So many questions. How much do these shirts cost? How long have y'all been here? Why is there a DJ?

Katarina: Kill people, burn shit, fuck school, I hate spam emails! That's annoying! You think you have an email from a friend but it's spam.

Lucien: I believe in my ability to not spill food in my pants 'cause I'm a goddamn adult. And I've mastered the art of getting food from my plate to my mouth without messing up my jeans. You need to believe in yourself, too and get your life together, that's for babies. Have some confidence in your eating abilities and hand/eye coordination.

Lucrezia: I'VE ALREADY SEEN LIMITLESS.

Lillian: I'm not a club person, I'm more of a bar/lounge type of person. But, I'll go anywhere if you give me a free bottle of alcohol.

Mikael: I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.

Matthias: It's a weird emotion when you're flattered and cynical at the same time. "Oh, that's nice that you would say that, but what the fuck are you up to?"

Marcelo: I just wear black and gray all the time. If you Google Image me, you'll just see a bunch of black and gray. It's simple. If I like a shirt, I'll buy six or eight of them, wear them back-to-back, and just wait for somebody to say something. "That's the same shirt you wore yesterday." "Yeah, but this one is fresh."

Maeve: When people go through something rough in life, they say, "I'm taking it one day at a time." Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.

Nikolai: But this time, it was me and this old lady we were jaywalking together. We weren't together like that. But if we were, so what? Mind your business.

Odessa: It was a phone interview and sometimes when I do phone interviews and the journalist is boring, I just start saying crazy stuff to make it fun for me.

Olivio: There have been times I’ve been out, and my phone battery is at nine percent, and I was like, "Time to go home."

Orion: Don’t thank the lord. I gave you that compliment, thank me.

Priam: I lost my debit card recently, had five charges on it before I caught it. First charge, $30 Chuckee Cheese. Who goes to Chuckee Cheese as soon as they find a debit card? Are you serious?

Paola: I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, 'Why do you want to work at Starbucks?' Uh, because my life is in shambles.

Pandora: I don't even know how to use a semicolon to this day, I use a comma every time. And you know what? If I email somebody and they get upset about me using a comma instead of a semicolon, that's not a person I want to work with anyway. And that's how you weed people out of your life.

Ramona: I went into this restaurant in Verona called The Two Gentlemen. Went into the bathroom at The Two Gentlemen, huuuuge rat in the bathroom at The Two Gentlemen and the rat looked at me like "the fuck you doing here?" That was his vibe, very negative vibe.

Rafaella: Sometimes I get drunk and I get into arguments with taxi drivers. And I get out the cab and I slam the door. That's not the way to win an argument with a taxi driver. The way to win is you get out of the cab and you leave the door open.

Regina: And that was the first time in my life, without any sarcasm, I could say, "What? You want a cookie or something?" Because any other time you say that, you being mean, but I meant it from my heart. "How many cookies you want, man? You want seven cookies? That's way too many cookies. You're being ridiculous right now. You can take, like, three or four cookies and get out of my face. Otherwise, you're taking advantage of my generosity."

Ronan: Wack.

Roman: In my hometown of Verona, I'm kind of a medium deal.

Theodora: We got interns at the job. You can just tell them to do stuff. You gotta be nice, though. I had this cat fax something. I handed him a couple of pages, and I handed him another page. I said, "Hey, man, fax something for yourself, too."

Tomas: Rap videos confuse me cause they have to be continued at the end but the never make a sequel. Where’s the second video? There’s so much suspense!

Trinity: I was at the airport and there was this kid, four or five years old walking with his mommy, fixed his fingers in a fake gun, and then took a shot at me. And I'm looking at the wall to see if there's something on the wall he could've been shooting at 'cause I'm in denial. I look back at him, he looks me in the eyes and takes too more shots. Now I'm hit three times, that's an act of aggression. I need to defend myself.

Valentina: Morpheus, Dorpheus, Orpheus, go eat some walruses. Orifices, porridges. Morpheus, Morpheus. Going to the Buffet and Walruses. Confidence, corpseses. Worcestershire sauce. Go into your orifices. Red pill, blue pill. Morpheus, walruses. Seashells by the seashorpheus. MORPHEUS DRINKING A FORTY IN THE DEATH BASKET.

Vivianne: "We'll keep you in our thoughts" With the other bullshit in your heads? No, keep me out of your thoughts, because I hear some of the stuff you talk about and if that's close to what you're thinking about, I don't want to be around that, so keep me and my family out of your thoughts, unless you're thinking of making me a sandwich.

[epiitaphs]

☽ = wandering alone at night ( jim for whoever you're feeling! )

“It’s not safe out here at night,” John says, omnipresent cigarette in hand, the shadow of a grin on his face. “There’s all sorts of rotten things that’ll jump out at you.” The fact that he seems quite at home should probably suggest where he stands in that definition of the universe. Not that he’s a real threat to most - he’s a skinny asshole who couldn’t hold his own in a fight even if he tried. No need to know exactly why John’s out here at this time of night. That’s his own business.

He shakes his head at a question that Jim hasn’t asked yet. “None of them called.” Nor did he follow Jim. It’s pure coincidence, which he’s never trusted much. “Just me. Should I call Eli - ‘it’s well past 10 pm, do you know where your child is’?” He’d likely find that a lot less amusing that John would. Really, the question is whether Jim needs him to call someone or whether he needs him to simply facilitate whatever late night directionless wandering he’s up to this time. 

[iggy-licious]

One Shot: Weekend Chores

This is the first Iggy one shot that I wrote. It's NSFW, smutty. PS, Iggy is called by his real name, Jim, in the story. ❤️❤️❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s Saturday morning, cleaning time for you. Jim has just wiped the lenses of his wire-frame glasses. He reaches for the weekend newspaper, crosses his legs, and prepares to read.

Both of you are in your usual places for the start of the weekend. You like to wear something provocative to put on a show for him while you clean, and today it’s black cat ears and a studded pet collar, along with your favorite black lace bra and a black thong. He has helped complete your outfit, inserting the plug that leaves a black cat tail hanging suggestively from the entrance to your ass.

He has left behind many of the darkest bits of Iggy Pop from earlier in the decade and is now in what he jokingly refers to as his “normal man” phase, but it's in appearance only, because the uncontrollable, sexy wild man is just below the surface at all times. He's wearing a tennis sweater and jeans, feet bare, as always. His hair is back to its natural darker color, slicked into his best Brylcreem professional man imitation. The short haircut accentuates his angular, masculine face, and the shine of his large, childlike blue eyes is not thwarted by the oversized glasses.

The oddness of the scene turns you on every weekend--Jim, in the role of a fiercely middle-class man savoring every second of mundane activity on a weekend morning, and you, vamping seductively in costume and character. You know it turns him on, too--there have been Saturdays when he’s had to have you and you didn’t get to finish your cleaning--but he always plays nonchalant at first. It’s unnerving how he can turn off his normal chaos cartoon character personality for this indifferent mask of respectability. You know he has considered taking acting classes, and you're confident he'd ace that kind of work.

You make sure to have your back to him as much as possible, as part of the show. You water the ferns and African violets first, then you vacuum the beige carpet in the living room. It doesn’t take much time in the modest Berlin apartment that the two of you share.

When you’re directly in front of him, vacuuming near the coffee table, he rests the newspaper in his lap, palms your ass with one hand, and grabs his coffee with the other for a sip. The way he kneads you causes you to flash back to the feel of his hands on your ass earlier, when he slicked your asshole down with lube and, with the caress of a sinfully teasing finger, prepared you for the plug, if not for his slow, light-handed thrusting with the toy. His unexpected motions caused your hips to buck some more, after you were already on your back, flushed and wet from his expert tongue moments earlier in your pussy. You were close to coming again while he played with your smaller opening, but he said you'd have to wait.

You inhale sharply, enjoying the sexy memory and the feel of Jim’s warm hand on your ass right now.

“I believe there’s more to do, dollface, isn’t there?” He chides you gently with the low rumble of his unmistakably Midwestern accent. He spanks you swiftly. You turn to look at him for a moment and see a momentary flash of mischief in his eyes accompanying his shy smile. “Off you go,” he says. Then, it’s back to the newspaper.

You finish vacuuming and put the appliance back in the bedroom closet. You make a detour to the bathroom for cleaning supplies and then begin wiping all the glass down in the living room. First it’s the television, then the end tables and the coffee table. Jim hums Frank Sinatra tunes the whole time, and it excites you to feel like you’re in some twisted Norman Rockwell painting of the 1950s. But the year is 1977, and your game is certainly not beyond the pale in a place like Berlin.

Jim has finished his coffee and takes the mug to the kitchen. While he’s gone, you turn your cleaning attention to the large window at the side of the sofa. You can’t help but start humming Sinatra.

“You missed a spot,” Jim says of your window cleaning. You turn and see him peering at you from the kitchen. You know by the way he licks his lips that he is ramping up the game. You resume your work, and your lips swell furiously between your thighs in anticipation.

“Show me where you mean?” You call out once you’re facing the window again, playing along.

“One moment, sweetheart,” he calls back in a singsong tone.

You hear his brisk shuffle on the carpet. Once you see his reflection in the window you know that playtime is over. You can’t help but grin when you see his nude body: the lean lines and pops of muscles on his lithe frame, punctuated by the arresting sight of his thick cock. You’re surprised he kept his clothes on for that long. You feel flushed, but you get back to the task at hand, struggling to stay in character at this point.

His reflection makes a beeline for you.

He presses your body into the window with his. You gasp at the feel of the glass against your skin; it’s winter, and you imagine the window feels every bit as cold as it does outside.“Right here,” he says matter-of-factly, pointing to a random spot on the glass, pressing in closer on you. You are now soaked at your core, feeling his lips a hair’s width from your ear and his virile, low voice employed.

“Thank you for pointing that out, dear.” You can’t help phrasing your response this way, as you feel his hardness against you. He knows exactly what you mean.

He wages a silken assault on your neck with his soft kisses. He hums while he does it, and the vibrations and the undeniable masculinity of his tone edge you closer to the point of no return.

He turns you around, taking in the view of your body, gliding his large hands over you in a way he knows is never enough. He tosses his glasses on the sofa and gives you one of his provocative, model-perfect stares before he starts to remove your clothes.

He told you that a few years earlier, someone called him a degenerate with the body of a water polo player. You can see some after-effects of his strung-out, desperate years in his face, but now, during his tenuous recovery, he seems more settled and grounded than the man he's described to you. The man before you is calm, confident, and knowing, and has been head over heels for you, in his own understated way, for the past year.

He smiles. He's ready to devour you. He backs you against the window. He pins you to the spot. Your body rears and arches against the glass as his love bites at your neck and his fingering of your core send you to a place of wantonness. You gasp when his thumb hits your clit, easily gliding over the slick area. He grasps your neck softly with his other hand and kisses you deeply while his contact with your bud becomes more firm.

You tremble against the glass, and moans escape your mouth around his tongue. His dangerous bouts with asthma may have made him small, but he’s certainly as strong as larger men. He grips your neck a little tighter when he knows your climax is near. You’re shaking so much that you’re almost worried about the strength of the glass behind you.

“There’s my girl,” he growls and leers with his perfect smile. His eyes are wide and piercing on you; it’s one of the wild, defiant looks you’ve seen on his face in photos from the earlier concerts.

“Come for me… Come for me…” He chants in a husky whisper. Your sense of being expands at an alarming rate, while you tighten exquisitely at your core.

“Come for me…”

Your body feels like it’s going to burst.

“Come for me...”

You wail and keen. You can’t get enough air. You can’t get enough of the paralyzing euphoria that you’re in.

“Come for me…” You’re trapped in a divine loop of tension that ratchets higher, higher, higher. It feels wrong to call this extreme pleasure misery, but your nerves are going raw from the throbbing at your core, from his grip on you, his cold stare, the cold, hard glass, the thought of enterprising Germans going out into the sunny morning on the street below for the newspaper or a warm breakfast.

It’s too much. You explode inside. You tremble. You howl. Seconds later, your legs are doused with the warm rain of your completion.

You can’t stop shaking, can’t stop your rapid breaths. Jim cups your face with his hands and kisses you as tenderly as he did when the two of you woke up earlier. He gives you his shy smile and embraces you tightly. “That was beautiful,” he murmurs. “You’re beautiful.” His compliment makes you higher than you already are from his ministrations.

He tugs a bit at your cat tail and leers at you again. “Come on, pussy… cat… There’s more of that for you in the bedroom.”

[selfregicide]

" Well -- at first I figured you were all hair, no substance. You were all about /the looks./ Being King Shit of Turd Mountain. Just this cocky li'l asshole. A lot like me when I was your age, if you want honesty. Put me as a teenager into your shoes, though, and I woulda cracked under the pressure. I would've run 'n' never looked back. But not you, Steve. Trauma's a bitch, but you've got a good head on your shoulders and I think you're gonna go real far. It won't beat you down for good. "

@bluebracelet // Tell my Muse What Yours Really Thinks About Them

               Hopper starts talking and Steve’s smiling that wry kind of smile. He doesn’t expect the Chief to say anything good in whatever this conversation it is their having. He was half sure Hopper was going to tell him to quit smoking, but he hadn’t really said anything. Probably because Steve was old enough to buy a pack and probably because it wasn’t like he could stop him. 

               That’s the thing about smoking, though. It somehow always gets people into conversation. Standing awkwardly outside places with a few other like-minded individuals tended to make people chat. Not that Steve’s knows too much from experience, but he’s seen it happen enough times. So long as no one’s telling him he should put out the cigarette. If there’s the slightest hint of disapproval in Hopper’s face, Steve ignores it. He’s not sure how long they’ve been out here just chatting, or when the conversation turned on perception of each other but it had. Steve’s brows arch at the admission-- Jim Hopper had been a cocky little asshole himself? Yeah, he guesses he could imagine that. 

                Steve doesn’t expect the turn, though. He doesn’t expect Hopper to say anything nice. Or if he did, nothing that would mean anything. Steve’s more than a little surprised at the vote of confidence, the show of support. It’s weird to hear and Steve’s not sure how to take it. No one ever really tells him he’s going to get anywhere. He doesn’t think anyone’s told him at all--not since he was a child and had endless possibilities in front of him. 

              (When was the last time his father had said anything nice to him, anyway?)

                It’s especially weird to realize that he kind of wants to believe Hopper. 

                              “I sure hope you’re right because it’s doing a pretty good job right now.” A slight mirthless little laugh. “And hey, being King Shit of Turd Mountain took a lot of work, okay?”

[nobodiesheartlessshitblog45]

Luka and Mary were sitting at the bar talking wait cor Robert fo show up.

Mary: How are things going, Sailor?

Luka: It's been a rough month since Amanda went away to college... It's just too quiet. (takes a sip from his beer) I know she'll be fine, but I miss her a lot, and I-I'm worried. She's my little baby girl.

Mary: Oh, sweetie. Come here. (pulls him into a hug) She's going to be okay. She's tough girl. Like me. She handle whatever life throws at her.

Luka: (smiles, and hugs) Thank you, Mary. And sorry if I'm whinny tonight.

Mary: Pfff please, have you met my husband, Oh, I mean ex- husband.

Luka: So... it's over between you guys?

Mary: Yep, and of course his mother is blaming me for the broke up. But who cares I don't have to do with her~. Luka: (turns to Nail) Neil, my good fellow, two shots for me and my beautiful friend over.

As the two took the shots Robert came walking into the bar.

Mary: Robert, over here. (waves)

Robert grins and walks over.

Robert: Hey, (kisses Luka on the lips and kisses Mary on the check) Luka, babe. We need to talk.

Luka: Hm? What?

Robert: Kodama and Betsy... (pulls out his phone shows a video of the two dogs napping on his couch) These two are fuckin' adorable. I'm going to lose my mind. And Ponyo is an old soul. (shows him a another video of Ponyo meowing and purring) These guys are going to kill me if before Damion does.

Mary: ... God fucking dammit what did you do now?!

Robert: What? Nothing nothing... (try to play it cool)

Mary: Robert. (crosses her)

Luka: Sweetie, did you break this time?

Robert: ... ... ... ... I knocked over one of his gargoyle statues and. ... And stepped on his flowers. I'm positive the feet broke another statue of a armless naked chick.

MaryxLuka: ... Seriously.

Robert: It was dark, okay? Or could have a ghost. You never know.

Both Mary and Luka gave him a look.

Robert: (roll eyes) I said I was sorry and told him

I'll for the damage. Happy?

As the Night went on, Robert sat at the end of the bar watching the football game tat was on.

Mary was chatting with Neil, while Luka was writing down and doing a few sketches.

Mary: C'mon, Luka, take the night off Watch me freak out few young scrappy men.

Luka: Huh? (Looks up)

Mary rolls eyes takes the sketch shuts it, and shoves a beer into his hand.

Mary: No working. It's your night off. Live a little.

Luka: ... Yeah, you're right. Sometimes.

Mary: Pff. I'm always right.

Luka: (chuckles and looks around) Oh. Check out those guy. (points at one of the Booth a wearing a black suit, Red tide Blue button-down shirt)

Mary: Ooooooh, Mary likes~. Good job, my Faith a wing man. (turns to him) How do I look?

Luka: Stunning as always. Go get'em.

Watches as Mary walks away. Just as Robert stands up.

Robert: Gonna powder my nose. Order my a coca-Cola.

Luka: Will do. (starts drying to sketchbook again)

Robert: One time I drowned a guy in public toilet?

Luka: (turns him) What?!

Robert: Yeah, fucker tried to rob me at good point, stabbed in the throat, and drowned his sorry ass in the one of the bathroom stalls.

Luka: ... ...

Robert: (start laughing and kisses Luka) You are too damn adorable. (walks away)

Luka: ... (Rolls eyes, chuckles)

After few months walks away someone came up next to Luka.

Man: Hey there, good lookin'.

Luka turns to his left and sees the well dress Guy that Mary to flirt with standing next to him.

Man: Hey, you're famous, right?

Luka: Excuse me?

Man: Yeah, you were in the newspaper, you're a local artists in the Maple Bay Area?

My name is Travis.

Luka: Oh, yes. Luka Jarvis. Please to meet you. And no I'm not famous at all. (smiles shyly)

Travis: C'mon, you were in the newspaper. I kinda makes you famous. (smiles)

Luka: I don't think so. Anyway, Nice to meet, Travis. (goes walker)

Travis: Well wait, do you do commissions?

Luka: Well, yeah. But commissions are close for the rest of the month. Sorry.

Travis: Aww, Shame. I was hoping you would draw me... (grins) Naked.

Luka: (blinks) Yeah, no sorry. Have a good evening. (walks away)

Travis: C'mon, it was only a joke, Lucas.

Luka: It's Luka. Good night.

Travis: (grabs Luka's waste and pulls him closer) Hey, don't leave, sweetheart. Well, unless you wanna go somewhere... private.

Luka: Let... Let me go.

Neil: (looks over) Hey, jackass, stop harassing my customers.

Mary: ...? (looks over)

Travis: (looks him) Piss off.

Robert walks out of the bathroom and looks over.

Luka: S-Stop. Let go, you fucking creep! (Feels Travis letting go of him)

Luka looks over and sees Robert bending Travis to the bar. Pinning his head the wooden surface he's right here bent in a uncomfortable.

Robert: Motherfucker! (glares deadly at him)

Travis: Owowowo. You're hurting my arm, asshole!

Robert: Give me a reason why I shouldn't fucking break it...

Neil: Robert, take the trash out.

Robert: With. Pleasure. (drags Travis to the back at the bar, throws them in the alleyway)

Travis: Gaaahh... (glares up at him) Who the hell do you---

Robert: (Hold him down and punches him twice in the nose) ... Never. And I mean, fucking never Touch. Luka. Again. (punches again) Get out here. Shitheads like you aren't welcome here.

Robert glares deadly at Travis again before walking back into Jim and Kim's.

Mary: Are you sure you're okay?

Luka: Yeah. Guy was a real creep.

Mary: No kidding. He was eyeing you before while I was talking to him. So I just moved on.

Robert walks back into the walks too Luka.

Robert: You okay, Luka?

Luka: Yeah, I'm fine.

Robert: You sure? We can call it a night and go home.

Luka: Nah. I'm good.

Three sat at bar watching the rest of basketball ball game before calling it a night.

The 2 older men walked Mary back to home apartment.

Mary: Welp, boys, mama's hittin the hay. Netflix and warm bed await.

Robert: Good night, honey.

Luka: Always a blast, gorgeous.

Mary: I am the life of the party. Night, guys. (she walk up to her complaxe before waving)

Robert: (puts an arm around Luka and the two start walking home)

The two men said nothing at first.

Luka: Thanks for saving me for saving me for that creep.

Robert: ... His corpse is in the back of my pick up truck. We I have a couple shovels bury him somewhere before he starts to stink.

Luka: W-WHA---?!

Robert: Hahaha. (kisses his cheek) You're welcome~.

Luka: You... have a very and unsettling sense of humor, Small.

Robert: Yep~.