#and this is also what jay did as a child when he stole to survive

[yvtro]

Very much feels like a lot of people are ignoring Jason’s foundation. Like I think it’s important to pay attention to the later Robin runs for him. Felipe is actually I think an interesting place to start w Jason because it shows a wealthy, connected, powerful man assaulting multiple women, getting away with it, mocking those victims, causing one to kill herself, and there’s nothing Batman or the police or Bruce himself can do about it. That’s what Jason sees and I don’t think the comics touched on it as much as they should but I think it’s pretty clear that a lot of Jason’s motivation comes from seeing that. How do you say “don’t kill, they’ll get there justice from the criminal justice system” when the powerful won’t. And I really don’t see how “don’t deal to children” and controlling the supply is like. Anti-poor people? He has a different stance on crime, esp things like drug crimes, than bruce, who isn’t even from Gotham and is a billionaire CEO who had one shitty day in crime alley that apparently defined his entire existence. If you wanna talk abt shitty characterizations given the background of the characters, it seems crazy to start w Jason and not Bruce, who thinks he knows best and doesn’t do what he can with his resources to fix Gotham.

okay, first of all: i talk about jason and not about bruce because jason is my favourite character. i have plenty of thoughts about bruce re: classism that i could talk about, if asked – but i don't spend much time writing about it, simply because it's not something that gives me a dopamine hit. but if you're curious about my thoughts on bruce – ask me, and i will talk. but since here you're focusing mostly on jason, i will explain my thought process a bit further.

i do think that felipe's storyline is extremely important when it comes to jason's development of his own moral code. but i also think that people forget that what jay focused in this situation was 1. the victim 2.as you said, the fact that the wealthy and connected can get away with their crimes. thus, i think the most reasonable course for jason would to become extremely wary of that power imbalance and the way it corrupts people. but what happens with jason in utrh is not that: jason might say that he is after people who will find their way out of prison easily, but in reality his killing seems completely indiscriminate. his moral code is made into a joke. post utrh there are issues where he kills random goons (the anarky/batcat wedding storyline, for example), blames lower class people for engaging with crime (batman urban legends, if i'm not wrong; "a thief will always be a thief" or something along these lines, said by a man who stole to survive as a kid no less).

i'm not against jason killing per se; if he was a robin hood kind of figure, traveling around and dealing with those in power, if he even became a sort of revolutionary, i would be delighted. but he doesn't become any of these things in his comics. what he does is assuming the power himself and becoming an authoritarian figure. and i think, re: drugs, for example: someone whose mother died of OD should be socially aware enough to know that policing drugs doesn't really help the communities any, right? what helps with drug abuse is healthcare and prevention work, not creating arbitrary laws and targeting dealers at the lowest level of a drug business ladder. "how is controlling the drug supply anti-poor people" well, do you think, realistically, people in the community would have any trust in the person who controls the drug supply?

so, tldr, i think it's specifically the positon of power that i have an issue with. it isolates him from the people, it makes their issues into an abstract that he no longer has ways of relating to. it alienates the victims further. and it strips jason off his sensitivity.

since you mentioned bruce, i will say it creates an ironic situation where there's a 1% character who has more compassion towards petty criminals than a person who comes from that background. jason's answer to bruce's attempt at fixing the system is strikingly similar in some ways because they both conform to regular, uncritical perception of crime, retribution and rehabilitation. they both still work within that system, it's just that jason is more unhinged about it. and i don't know, i think jay should be more aware of the ways society pressures people to commit crimes, but also about how acts that are labeled criminal often aren't even inherently immoral but rather target marginalised groups. but no, the way he's written is just: head empty. crime bad.

i will finish this answer here before i get deep into strain theory, but i hope it makes my stance on it more clear.

[mischiefandspirits]

Bloodlines (1 of 3)

After receiving a vague warning from his mother about his cousin and Richard, Damian goes looking for his runaway ward.

This chapter started as a flashback in the latter half of the story, but I felt like it was running on too long so I decided to cut it out and make it its own chapter. As such the events of this chapter occur a little under five years before the events of the main story, which takes place a few months after “Family Weekend.”

Part of Batkid and Robin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian was surprised to see Nightwing in the Hatch when he arrived. He knew his ex-partner noticed his entrance, but the Super didn’t look up from the conversation he was having with Señal in the doorway to the infirmary.

Taking the hint, Damian turned to E-ko. “What happened?”

“We’re not entirely sure. Izzy and I were both in class and Dax was at work when Dick’s distress beacon went off so only Duke and Dre responded,” she said, glancing towards the infirmary. “By my estimate, they sent out the request for backup almost immediately after they engaged. Nightwing had been finishing up something with Metro across the bay so he responded. Izzy and I were suiting up when ‘Wing dragged them in. He thinks they were fighting talons when he got there, but the guys took off as soon as he got close. Dre was already knocked out -- drugged we think -- and Duke passed out on the way here -- bloodloss.”

“Richard?”

“Your son wasn’t there,” Nightwing said as he and Señal approached. “I didn’t know he was involved until I got here and the girls filled me in.”

“He’s not -” Damian closed his eyes and asked, “Did Signal say anything before he passed out?”

“He slurred something about Cobb and Halloway and I think he tried to say something else, but he was fading fast at that point. Didn’t recognize either name, but I’m not surprised since this seems to be Gotham stuff.”

“Nightwing.”

“Batman.”

Damian glared up at neon blue eyes. “We’re not doing this while Richard is missing.”

“Well, I guess I’ll just stay quiet then. Not sure I have anything to add since I don’t even know the kid.”

The only reaction Damian allowed himself to have was to clench his fists as he turned to Señal. “If the talons are involved, then Cobb is William Cobb. Why would he be after Richard though? The Court has only ever targeted adults for kills and street kids for would-be talons. A child from a prominent family doesn’t fit their M.O.”

“We’re not sure,” she said. “Oracle’s looking into it. In the meantime, Selina’s pulling Stephanie and Jason out of school in case they’re targeting Wayne kids. Cass and Mia are also going to bunker down somewhere safe with Tim if they can drag him away from wherever he is now on his mental breakdown road trip.”

“Don’t call it that.”

The group turned to see Duke slumped against his IV pole in the infirmary’s doorway.

“¡Bobo! Lay back down!” Señal snapped, rushing over to him.

He let his girlfriend take his weight, but didn’t let her drag him back to bed. His chest and arms were heavily bandaged and butterfly stitches were keeping a few cuts on his cheek and neck closed. He was also glaring at Señal. “Lay off Tim.”

“Sorry, I know you want to humor him.”

Duke shook his head and turned to Damian. “We’ve got a problem.”

“I know. We’ll find Richard. Go -”

“No, you don’t understand. Halloway was there. From DCF.”

It took Damian a moment, but he put the name to the face. Cathy Halloway was one of the social workers that gave him the hardest time while trying to foster Richard, but not one of the ones who’d earned his respect because they thought Damian was taking Richard in on a whim. He wasn’t sure if it was Richard’s Romani heritage she had a problem with or if it was the fact Richard was white-passing while Damian had very clearly taken after his mother, but the family had dug up a few comments made by her about keeping Richard “with his own people.”

As if the Gotham branch of the DCF had placed Richard with a family instead of in a detention center.

Backward morals aside, the Bat’s investigation hadn’t turned up anything tying her to the court. “Why was she there?”

The Hatch’s main computer lit up green, announcing Oracle’s presence. “Because Cobb told her he was Dick’s grandfather.”

“What?” Damian asked. Richard didn’t have any living relatives, the Bats checked as had DCF at the Waynes’ insistence. “Why would she believe that?”

“I’m looking into it, but she’s started the paperwork to transfer custody and she was there to help Cobb pull Dick out of school. Selina played it off like she was picking Dick up alongside Steph and Jay then went full PTA mom when she found out they’d sent Dick off with strangers. Alfred’s bringing the little Bats to you while she puts the staff through the wringer to get as much info for us as she can. I’m trying to match our maps of the Court’s labyrinth to what little information from Dick’s beacon is making it through the scramblers so, hopefully, I’ll have a location by the time you’re all suited up.”

Damian made a mental note to bring his own version of hell down on the staff if any of them survived his Step-Mother’s fury then focused back on the matter at hand. “Señal, you know the labyrinth best. Can you see if you can help Oracle? I’ll get Duke back in bed.”

She nodded and passed Duke off to him after giving her boyfriend a quick kiss.

“Sorry, Dames,” Duke said as Damian helped him back onto the medical cot. “The talons cut us off before we could get anywhere near Dick or Cobb.”

“You did your best. We know what we’re facing now. We’ll bring him home, no matter how many talons we have to freeze. Get some rest.”

Duke nodded and leaned back.

Damian returned to the main room and approached E-ko and Nightwing. He asked the latter, “Are you staying?”

The Super gave a sardonic smile. “I guess I should get going. Don’t want to overstay my welcome. Call me if you think the situation is bad enough to need outside help.”

“That’s not what -” Damian started, but Nightwing was already gone. He sighed and turned to E-ko. “Has the Court been up to anything recently that could explain coming after Richard?”

She shook her head. “They’ve been quiet since we reclaimed that youth shelter they were using to try and lure in would-be talons. We knew they’d try to find a new way to bring in kids, and trying to get their hooks in the foster system isn’t too far out there if they don’t realize we’ve been keeping a close eye on it ever since Jason, but going after someone as notable as Dick doesn’t make sense.”

“There has to be a reason.”

“Who cares, let’s just get out there and find Dickie!” Jason called as he stomped into the Hatch. He and Stephanie came towards them while Alfred went off to check on the two in the infirmary.

“Knowing why a person is doing something is very important,” Damian said and Jason scowled.

“It’s not more important than rescuing my Red Bird! Let’s go!” he snapped, shoving Damian towards the changing rooms.

“Rushing in is going to get you in trouble,” Damian huffed, but let his younger brother push him along with Stephanie trailing after.

The three quickly changed into the extra suits they kept in the Hatch in case of emergency then they, Señal, and E-ko set off towards the labyrinth entrance closest to the approximate location Señal and Oracle had decided on.

Batman took the lead, keeping an eye out for danger as Señal directed him through the tunnels. Thankfully the closer they got, the more accurate the beacon's positioning became. He was keeping a sharp eye on everything, looking for the booby traps and talons, so he immediately noticed when Señal and E-ko began to share worried looks.

“What?”

“There aren’t any mazes, meeting halls, or holding cells this way,” E-ko said. “The only things down here are…”

“Labs and cryo-caskets,” Señal finished.

“Shit!”

Batman grabbed Batkid before he could race ahead. “Hold on.”

“Hold on? I’m not going to wait around while those psychos turn Red Bird into one of those monsters!” the boy snarled, then took off down the tunnel.

“They wouldn’t start the process so soon,” E-ko tried to reassure as the four chased after him. “They always start training before beginning the Electrum injections. They want to be sure the investment would be worth it.”

A shadow slid out of a side tunnel and Batman grabbed the edge of Batkid’s cloak. He yanked the boy back just in time for the talon’s dagger to cut through the air in front of his face instead of across his throat.

E-ko intercepted the assassin with her cryo-gun as Señal repelled another two with her chain whip.

“Go find Grayson. We’ll deal with these ones,” E-ko called out and Batman nodded.

He led Batkid and Batgirl forward, bringing up Richard’s distress beacon on his gauntlet computer. They raced up to a heavy door that he quickly kicked in once confirming it was locked.

Inside, scientists and talons stood over an operating bed that held a teary eleven-year-old. Thick leather straps wrapped around Richard’s arms, legs, and chest to keep him pinned to the bed. A scientist had been preparing an iv filled with a dark silver liquid while William Cobb had leaned over Richard with his hand fisted in the boy’s hair, but all eyes turned to the Bats at their entrance.

Batkid immediately launched himself at the scientists, ripping the one closest to Richard away from him and laying into them with a fury. Batgirl and Batman tossed liquid nitrogen pellets at the talons, partially encasing three of them in ice to put them into hibernation. Batgirl engaged another two talons while Batman tackled Cobb.

“You must be getting desperate for new talons if you’re starting to steal children from Gotham’s old families, Talon.” Batman ducked one knife strike, deflected another, then landed a blow that snapped Cobb’s arm with a loud crack.

“Wayne was the one who stole him,” Cobb spat, disengaging just long enough for the Electrum to twist his bones back into place before slashing at Batman’s neck. “The Gray Son was born and raised to serve the Court of Owls. Just as his grandfather, my son, was before him.”

Batman shifted back in time for the claws aiming for his ribs to cut through nothing more than armor. “Emil Grayson was a circus acrobat.”

“Emil was raised by Nathaniel Haley to be the perfect talon, just as I was. Had Nathaniel not passed before he could return my son or instruct his own in the ways of the Court, then Emil would have surpassed even me. Instead, that fool Cameron spirited my son away to Europe. By the time the Court could reforge ties with the circus, my son was lost to us while my grandson had been raised weak and the Court had no influence over him. We could only ensure that the child he bore would receive the proper training and be returned to Gotham when the time came.”

Batman felt sick. He wanted to deny it, but Cobb had no reason to lie and the Bats hadn’t bothered to look that far into Richard’s family’s past. “The Graysons’ deaths…”

“Not the Court’s work, though it provided us with an opportunity to place the boy somewhere we could have full influence over him.”

He’d never felt better about rescuing Richard from that awful detention center. He fought down a smirk that would be both telling and uncharacteristic for Batman as he slammed his foot into Cobb’s chest, audibly breaking a few ribs. “But Wayne took him instead.”

From his place on the ground, Cobb pulled off his mask to spit out discolored blood then glared up at Batman. “It doesn’t matter. The boy is destined for the Court. Whether now or later, the Gray Son of Gotham will be a talon.”

“Never,” Batman growled, freezing the talon with a liquid nitrogen pellet.

When he turned back to the room at large, Batgirl was taking down her opponents while Batkid had tied up the scientists and was pulling off the straps. Batman went to help the boys, pulling Richard into his arms as soon as he was free. The ladies agreed to handle the talons and scientists so Batman and Batkid could get Richard up to the surface where Oracle had police cars and an ambulance waiting.

Once they were out of the labyrinth and away from any cameras the Court may have had, but before they reached the authorities, Dick pressed his face into Batman’s neck. “Dami.”

“I’m here, Dick.”

“Th-that man, he said…”

Batman tightened his grip on his ward. “I know, but I’ve got you now and I promise, the Court won’t ever touch you again.”

Richard wrapped his arms around his neck and Damian quickly ran his fingers through the black-brown curls before Batman stepped out of the shadows and passed Richard off for a paramedic to check him over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For Reference:

The Batcave: Under Wayne Manor in Bristol, acts as HQ for Batman, Catwoman, and Batgirl (and Batkid)

The Perch: Under Damian and Jon's house in Somerset, acts as HQ for Nightwing and Flamebird (and Robin)

The Hatch: Under the Lucius Fox Center in Burnley, acts as HQ for We Are Future (Signal, Señal, E-ko, Flyfox, and Allegro)

The Clocktower: At the top of Gotham Clock Tower in Old Gotham, acts as HQ for Oracle and Orphan

The Roost: Under Drake Towers in Blüdhaven, acts as HQ for Black Bat and Athens

[bluboothalassophile]

Crash Course!

@chromium7sky & @deep-in-mind67 a tremendous Thank You for allowing me to borrow Cas ad Malik for some mayhem and destruction! They are terrific and you are both lovely and I hope you enjoy!

~~~*~*~*~~~

Damian al Ghul was a busy man, by nature, he wasn’t one to idly sit about, and he did have operations to run, companies to manage, people to train, a wife to love, and a son to raise. Life was never simple, and lately, Malik had been up to something.

Damian didn’t want to press his son, he did not want to be that parent, he had hopes that Malik would come to him when he was ready, but he was seriously concerned for his son. Malik may be the most mature, levelheaded sixteen year old that Damian had ever encountered. But his son was a perfect resurrection of the Lazarus Pit and a demon and he knew, after watching Todd, his mother, grandfather all struggle with the Pit, that it wouldn’t be this simple, despite Malik being a very good young boy. The sixteen-year-old was a sixteen year old boy in a twenty something year old body, and a demon, and Damian worried. He was a father, he worried.

And lately Malik had gotten very reclusive and very secretive, and he was very worried for his son, but he did not want to be an overbearing parent; he had seen how poorly that turned out. He just hoped that Malik would trust him enough to come to him when things got really bad for him. Damian hoped to any and every deity that Malik knew that Damian was in his corner no matter what.

~~~*~*~*~~~

Malik didn’t think it could be too difficult to do what Casmir was asking, it was not like driving was rocket science, and he had learnt when he was twelve; he was genuinely surprised Cas did not know how to drive. But apparently an incident with Raynor had had their father saying no to any and all teachings for driving until they were legal. Plus, like him, Cas portalled everywhere, but still, Malik could see the practicality in the ability to drive.

And since Casmir’s parents were out on a Justice League mission, all the Batlings were under Nos’ care and Malik didn’t think the feline would care if he taught Cas to drive. Besides, this version of his parents were why more… gentle, he didn’t think they’d get into any serious trouble if they were caught.

“Okay, I’m set,” Cas grinned as they sat in one of the zillions of cars the Waynes always seemed to own. Malik had talked Cas out of the Lamborghini, instead they had opted for the Aston Martin; it was the one that looked like it belonged in those bond films, and he rather liked it.

Malik had walked Cas through the check list for safe driving. They slowly drove to the Batcave where there was a huge track set up for some reason. Malik would admit he was impressed with this version of his father for having adapted a serious training regime here in the Batcave, back home most his training was in Nanda Parbat with his family. Until running into the Batlings he hadn’t really seen much of anything outside the compound, though he did dimension hop from time to time when his mother and father were not around.

“Break, gas, and watch your speed, we shouldn’t go super fast,” he instructed as they got to the track.

“Beak, gas, seatbelt,” Cas muttered as they started going. Suddenly there was a blast of light and it felt like Cas hit the gas too hard as they were both thrown back in their seats.

“CAS!” he shouted and there was a blast of light as a blackhole opened.

“MALIK!” Cas screeched.

They both screamed as they were dimension hopping too quickly to even slow down.

~~~*~*~*~~~

Cas would admit, admittedly, this was not his brightest idea, but Malik hadn’t said no!

For a hot minute Cas was not the oldest and therefore, so not responsible!

Plausible deniability was going to be great. Honestly, Cas had never had this! But he could see from the look of the garage they had crashed into again that they were so dead, so very, very dead. If he and Malik survived this, Lorcan and Griffith were dead when he got home!

It took one look at an unamused Jason Todd for Cas to know exactly which universe they had crashed into, as this was obviously the one with the Jason Todd who had taught Raynor to drive!

“Is that Todd?” Malik asked warily.

“Not either of ours,” Cas grimaced and smiled. Jason stood there staring blandly back with a mug of steaming coffee, the mug was a minion’s mug; and Cas was certain it was the one Ingo had gotten this Jay. This Jason was different from either his or Malik’s, with a J seared into his cheek to highlight the immediate difference.

“Hey Jay,” he called as he rolled down the window.

“Casmir,” Jason remarked. “I don’t know which one is beside you,” he stated.

“This is Malik, he’s from another, another dimension,” Cas explained.

“Mmm,” Jason hummed. “Raven!” he barked.

“What!?” she appeared.

“Control your other dimensional children!” Jason demanded.

“Mom!?” Malik gaped. Cas smiled meekly as she went to stand beside Jason, she was tiny still, her hair was now to her waist, long, thick, inky black, her eyes were now distinctly violet and her sharp features were schooled in indifference as she arched a delicate brow at both of them while sipping her tea.

“Oh, that is not a good look,” Malik muttered while paling.

“We’re so very dead,” Cas whispered as he sunk in his seat.

“You want to tell me what’s happening here Cas?” Raven asked idly as she appeared in their back seat having both the boys jolting as they twisted around.

“M-mom!?” Cas and Malik yelped.

“Not quite,” she chuckled humorlessly. “Now why are you crashing through the garage?”

“Malik agreed to teach me to drive,” Cas informed her.

“Mmm, and I’m guessing you’re Malik?”

“Yes,” he answered.

“Nice to meet you, did the Batlings abduct another child I wasn’t aware of?” Rae asked blandly as she examined Malik.

“Um…” Cas looked at Malik and back at Rae who was sipping her tea.

“Not quite,” Malik answered. “I found the Batlings, I’m from another dimension,” he explained.

“Mmm, well, clean up and we’ll get breakfast then send you home. If you think to dimension hop, I’ll remind you I know where you live Cas,” Raven stated as she was enveloped by shadows and reappeared beside Jason.

“You know her?”

“Yeah, Ingo found her when we were babies, she’s family now,” Cas muttered.

“She does know she’s not the boss of us, right?” Malik asked.

“I am so not getting on that version of mom’s bad side!” Cas stated as he got out of the car.

“Why would we get on her bad side!?” Malik asked.

“Trust me, we don’t want to end up there,” Cas stated. “And this Jay can outcook Alfred!”

~~~*~*~*~~~

Raven was barely awake, and Jason wasn’t much better than she was at this point. Though Jay was prepping breakfast. It was a perfectly peaceful morning for her and Jason, none of Jay’s relatives were here for a change which had made life peaceful. Her own family was out of town as well. Rae had been texting Dean, Cas, Sam and Jack in the family group chat, and she had also had a call from Elijah to wish her a happy birthday. Her moms’ had called her from their European tour; which was apparently something Harley had always wanted to do, but they could never leave Gotham long enough to actually do it; but Rae was having breakfast with them tomorrow when she portalled over so she could meet up with Donna and Roy. Donna and Roy had plans for her tomorrow for a late Birthday dinner; it wasn’t easy to get time with the Queen of Themyscira. Vic had called her from deep space even, he was still helping the Lanterns. Kyle, Artemis, and Eddie were going to have lunch with her and Jason. Constantine was having dinner with her, Luci, Alice, Jack, Mary-Beth, Billy, and Jess tonight. But until her lunch, she had all the time in the world with Jason, and only Jason, which was something rare.

At least it was just her and Jason until there was a horrible crash in the garage.

Now though, after having the children clean up the garage, she found herself sitting at the island across from two sheepish looking boys. Cas was tall, gangly, and lean, his black hair was sticking up in odd directions, and his violet eyes were down cast. The other boy, Malik was huge, tall, thick and she sensed the Lazarus Pit in him. His eyes had the tell-tale green ring pulsing in them around the violet irises. He also looked a lot like Damian, high cheek bones, lean face, sharp nose, firmly set lips pulled in a grim line as he assessed her, his black hair was a bit shaggy.

“You want to tell me how you ended up in this dimension, again, Cas?” Raven asked as she set out two teas, she saw the other boy’s surprise as he cautiously came forward with Cas for tea.

“It’s Ingo’s fault.”

“Sure,” Raven waved off as she accepted the waffles from Jason. Jason served up two heaps of waffles for the boys as he pulled a cigarette.

“No smoking,” she said as she plucked the cigarette from his lips.

“Rae!”

“No! No smoking, you promised you were quitting, and I’m ensuring it. You’re Malik?” Raven turned her attention on the other boy who was cautiously cutting into the waffles with pristine manners, he was obviously Damian’s kid she thought.

“Yes,” he answered warily.

“And you’re from a different dimension?” Raven asked as she ate her own waffles, Jason finally sat and stole her syrup. “Hey!”

“You took my smokes!” he retorted.

“They’ll kill you young.”

“Jokes on you, I’m living to a hundred and two and then dying like the city of Detroit!” he sniped as he drowned his waffles in syrup.

“One of these days the Pit’s not going to save you from yourself,” she muttered as she swiped the syrup from him before he could have a sugar high. Jason rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I am from a different dimension,” Malik replied tentatively, clearly still absorbing the situation.

~~~*~*~*~~~

Malik was very confused. He’d been to a lot of different dimensions, which was how he had met the Batlings, and unwittingly befriended them, and been pulled into their antics. When he had agreed to teach Casmir to drive, he had not expected to be hit by a spell from Lorcan and Griffith, and somehow not controlling his own dimension hopping, which had been very unnerving. Then he had crashed into an unknown garage, which had not looked anything like the Batcave where he and Cas had been driving, to see a man who was clearly Todd but not his or the Batlings’ Todd.

This Jason stood there, lifted a scarred brow, his cheek had a J seared into it, and there were green pulses in his eyes, similar to Malik’s own. It was a mark of the Pit, and it was unnerving to see it reflected in his uncle’s eyes.

Then this Raven, his mom, had appeared, she stood beside Todd, and for the first time ever he truly noted how small his mom was. The Batlings’ Raven was lithe, delicate, his own mom had been small but not delicate, this Raven was small, petite, and almost delicate, yet her presence; like the other Raven’s he knew, was commanding. She was unnerving as well with how she had appeared, disappeared, and reappeared, he couldn’t sense her movement which was actually terrifying to him.

Now he was seated, in a warehouse, in a kitchen, before a plate of massive waffles, which were utterly divine in flavor, watching this version of his mother poke and prod this version of Todd and he was confused.

“I see, and in your universe, would your parents permit you to teach driving to a fifteen year old?” Raven asked dryly, turning her attention on him. It was unnerving how she had the mom look mastered and he felt this immense guilt about having agreed to just teaching Cas to drive.

“It’s not our fault we dimension hopped!” Cas protested.

“Sure, it’s not,” Todd muttered which had Malik glaring at this version of his uncle.

“It’s not!”

“Mmm, and how the hell did you get here?” Todd asked dryly.

“We were hit with a spell from Lorcan and Griffith,” Cas stated.

“We had no control of our dimension hopping,” Malik stated firmly. He was a bit annoyed with this version of his uncle; it was a bit annoying to have Todd of all people looking at them like they were reckless idiots. It wasn’t like they had intentionally dimension hopped!

“Mmm, should we be expecting the colony?” Todd asked dryly and Malik glared at his uncle.

“Um… no, I don’t think so,” Cas said.

“Good, little bird,” Todd turned to her. “Think you could get them home?”

“Not until I finish breakfast.”

“Obviously,” Todd snorted.

Malik did agree with Cas about this Todd’s cooking, it was very excellent! “Where’s father?” he asked as he continued cutting the waffles.

“The gremlin is at Berkley with his girlfriend,” Todd answered, and Malik’s head snapped up at that information as he glanced at this version of his mother then to Cas.

“Um… our parents are together in this universe,” Cas said.

“I do not understand,” Malik stated. His parents love transcended all boundaries he had encountered. Almost all the multiverses he had visited he had encountered his parents, together, they belonged together. “If mother is not with father…” he started.

“Your father is dating Irey West, and Jon Kent, depending on the day of the week and time of the month,” Todd chuckled as Raven whacked Todd up the back side of the head.

“In this universe, and in this universe, I do not date jailbait, which is exactly what he would’ve been if we had gotten together and it would have been disturbing, even for a demoness like myself.”

“So…”

“She’s with Todd,” Cass whispered.

“We’re not together!” Todd and Raven shouted as Cas. “Christ it’s like we’re twenty all over again.”

“Speak for yourself, it’s like I talked to Luci and Maze again!” Raven groaned.

“Just get the gremlins’ and other little birds’ spawns’ home and then we’re resume birthday plans,” Todd decided.

Malik blinked in utter confusion. This was a very strange universe. But these waffles were amazing, he wondered for the first time ever, if his uncle was as good of a cook as this version was.

“It’s your birthday?” he blinked at this version of his mother.

“Yes, it is,” she chuckled. “How do you like the waffles?”

“They’re delicious!” Malik admitted and stared longingly at his plate.

“Of course, he likes the fucking waffles, little bird, he’s your kid,” Todd stated as he nudged her side and started making more.

“This is the strangest universe I’ve been in,” he admitted to Cas.

“Yeah, me too, no one tried to stab, shoot or blow me up the first time I landed here!” Cas grinned in delight as Jason started serving them more waffles.

“You crash landed in the bouncy house,” Todd quipped.

“That was fun,” Cas chuckled.

“You dimension hop a lot,” he deduced from his brother.

“You have no idea,” Cas grinned.

“And I’m sure your parents will be lighted to know this in addition to you wrecking my garage,” Raven smiled.

“Do I at least get more waffles before my funeral?” Cas sighed.

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, November 9

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Prince Andrew fails lie detector -- new crisis rocks the palace 

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Bruno Toniolo shirtless, Heidi Pratt at a pumpkin patch in L.A., Jacqueline Bisset catches some rays in L.A. 

Page 3: Larry David leaves an L.A. office, Ellen Pompeo, Pete Wentz 

Page 4: Kathie Lee Gifford is talking to NBC bigwigs about coming back to Today and they’re hot over the idea but Hoda Kotb is not pleased and Jenna Bush Hager is feeling threatened because Jenna never really grabbed the audience like Kathie Lee did, Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow are heading into the holidays trash-talking each other even more than usual and their pals have nowhere to hide -- they’re snippier than ever and can’t get through the week without saying something crass but the trouble is they have the same friends and they use some of the same chefs and caterers and crew -- all their friends in the Hamptons including the Seinfelds and Beyonce and Jay-Z and Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley and Rachael Ray are trying to keep out of it but it’s impossible because Martha and Gwyneth are both screaming for loyalty 

Page 5: Legal hotshot and writer Jeffrey Toobin has been shelved by the New Yorker magazine for showing off his willie to co-workers during a Zoom conference call -- witnesses say Toobin was masturbating but he insists it was a blooper

Page 6: Dolly Parton was so lovestruck when she met Elvis Presley that she nearly chucked her marriage and career to shack up with Elvis -- Dolly is ready to tell all about Elvis after decades of protecting her husband Carl Dean and Elvis’ only child Lisa Marie Presley -- Dolly was in her late 20s and Elvis was in his late 30s when they had their sizzling encounter where she got dolled up to meet Elvis in a Nashville office and discuss working together and he wanted to do a duet but she didn’t trust herself to work with him and she didn’t even let Elvis do a cover of her song I Will Always Love You -- even though Dolly didn’t actually cheat on Carl she sure was tempted and she’s felt guilty about it ever since 

Page 8: Just two weeks after splitting with his wife of 14 years former Home Improvement kid Zachery Ty Bryan was arrested and jailed on charges of trying to strangle a terrified galpal -- after a night of partying where he was photographed surrounded by four gals with an iced bottle of vodka at the table Zachery reportedly got into a heated clash with his galpal and she claims Zachery grabbed her by the throat and squeezed then tried to snatch her phone when she attempted to call 911 so she ran to a neighbor’s home where she hid while cops were called 

Page 9: Distressed Kelly Clarkson and her two toddlers are in therapy to help cope with the anguish brought on by her divorce from Brandon Blackstock -- the talk show host is especially struggling because the split is playing out so publicly and the kids are seeing things about their mom on TV and she feels immense guilt about the divorce but knows it was the best decision because she wasn’t happy married to Brandon though she did try but staying in a marriage just for the kids wasn’t an option for her -- Kelly was deeply wounded when her father-in-law Narvel Blackstock’s management company recently sued her for $1.4 million in alleged unpaid commissions but she’s speaking with her ex privately in an effort to resolve the issue out of court but Kelly suspects he’s using it as a bargaining chip for a bigger settlement and also feels he’s using the kids against her as a weapon 

Page 10: Showbiz legend Michelle Phillips has become a shut-in who sits home alone tippling wine while watching movies on TV and listening to her hits from The Mamas & the Papas where she is the last surviving member of the band -- she’s sad the rest are all gone  and she’ll put on a record and sit in the dark; she misses them and so many other people -- she’s become a shut-in due to the pandemic and can’t bear for people to see her so old and haggard and overweight and all those years of partying have done their damage to her once-beautiful face -- she also hasn’t been able to see her young grandson and she’s grieving the loss of her longtime lover who died in 2017 

Page 11: Baywatch hunk Jeremy Jackson’s cover girl ex-wife has been found homeless wandering California’s mean streets in worn and shabby clothes -- lost for two years Loni Willison is now virtually unrecognizable with missing teeth and her long blond tresses cropped short -- she was found pushing a grocery cart filled with her battered possessions in Venice -- despite her tragic situation she insists she’d doing fine and doesn’t want help despite reportedly having drug and mental health issues 

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Rita Ora in a see-through frock (picture), Lily James got caught brazenly canoodling with the very much married Dominic West who plays her father in the BBC miniseries The Pursuit of Love, just weeks after Cardi B filed to dissolve her marriage to Offset she’s put the split on hold and all it took was Offset to spend bucks on a heart-tugging Sunset Strip billboard and a Rolls-Royce and a Hermes Birkin bag, Kate Hudson’s getting loose-lipped about gross snotty smooches with her leading man Matthew McConaughey 

Page 13: Vinny Guadagnino eating in Beverly Hills (picture), Kaitlyn Bristowe has a puffy trout pout (picture), Shia LaBeouf doesn’t let an apparent injury keep him from getting out and about in Pasadena (picture), Alanis Morissette says the fame that came with her 1995 revenge song You Oughta Know wasn’t so sweet but instead was an isolating experience 

Page 14: Nicole Kidman is starring opposite Hugh Grant in the thriller series The Undoing but she really wanted to plays Hugh’s love interest in Notting Hill except she wasn’t well-known enough, Reba McEntire has landed herself a brand new TV show which is a modernized Fried Green Tomatoes drama series in which she’ll play the present-day Idgie Threadgoode, Fashion Verdict -- Regina King 8/10, Isabelle Huppert 2/10, Queen Maxima 5/10, Tracee Ellis Ross 9/10, Cher 4/10 

Page 16: How John F. Kennedy stole the White House from Richard Nixon -- Chicago mob rigged the 1960 vote and cheated Nixon out of the presidency 

Page 19: True Crime 

Page 21: Parkinson’s patient Alan Alda is refusing to slow down at age 84 and friends fear the fragile M*A*S*H legend is headed for a devastating health crisis and he’s busier now than he ever was even during his sitcom days and he bravely says he lives with it by staying active but medication can only do so much and his friends and family including wife Arlene are worried he’s pushing himself too hard, teary-eyed Ringo Starr confesses his last conversation with dying Beatles bandmate George Harrison was heartbreaking and unforgettable -- Ringo wanted to stay with George until the end but his daughter Lee had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and Ringo had to rush to Boston to see her and when Ringo told George he had to go to Boston George said D’ya want me to come wit’ ya? so even on his death bed George made his best buddy smile while both faced unspeakable grief 

Page 22: 10 Things You Don’t Know About S. Epatha Merkerson, Today show host Hoda Kotb reveals Frank Sinatra Jr. was the show’s worst guest because he clammed up instead of touting a book about his famous dad in 2015, Khloe Kardashian confesses she once worked as Nicole Richie’s personal assistant because she just needed a job and they went to school together -- Nicole’s reality career crashed in 2007 which was the same year Khloe’s series started

Page 24: Cover Story -- Disgraced Prince Andrew has flunked a lie detector test on his close relationship with murdered American pedophile Jeffrey Epstein and now the rogue royal insists he’ll never cooperate with the FBI for fear his testimony will land him behind bars but Queen Elizabeth’s favorite son has his back against the wall as new evidence surfaces on both sides of the Atlantic -- Andrew is terrified newly released secret testimony from Epstein’s accused madam Ghislaine Maxwell is just the tip of the iceberg of what she’s prepared to reveal and Maxwell’s revelations detailing her twisted sex life come on the heels of an explosive new British book accusing Andrew of attending debauched events with Epstein where teenage girls were parading around topless -- even though friends close to Andrew say he did nothing wrong and has no reason to fear the prince may not have a choice about spilling his guts because the fed-up royal family is threatening to cut off the cash-strapped rogue unless he plays ball 

Page 25: Prince Andrew has been banished from the gift shop at his mother’s Balmoral Castle -- tourists can still purchase postcards her Her Majesty’s kids Prince Charles and Princess Anne and Prince Edward but Prince Andrew has disappeared which is a sure sign that Andrew is in the doghouse since items featuring Elizabeth’s beloved corgis are still up for sale 

Page 26: Health Report 

Page 27: Dirtiest places on planes exposed 

Page 30: Serial sleaze Matt Lauer’s ready to pop the question to girlfriend Shamin Abas over the holidays and he hopes for a brighter future with her a year after his 20-year marriage to Annette Roque ended in divorce -- Matt showers Shamin her with gifts and wants to buy a house on the East Coast where they can make new memories and Matt’s hinted he’s already bought the ring and plans to propose by New Year’s and he hopes to have a celeb-studded wedding at their new home, Kathleen Turner will be back at Michael Douglas’ throat as his acid ex in The Kominsky Method to fill the hole left by Alan Arkin who abruptly pulled out of the third and final season of the show

Page 35: Matthew McConaughey’s father predicted he’d die while making love to his wife and he did, desperate to turn back time Marie Osmond is going whole hog on a head-to-toe makeover -- Marie is no stranger to cosmetic fixes and she is considering a slew of procedures to get a new look that’ll knock ‘em out including everything from Botox and fillers to face-lift to boob job and lipo-sculpting to enhance her waistline -- the makeover is motivated by revenge because she’s bitter over recently being pushed off her co-host gig on The Talk and now she’s counting on a younger look to land her a plum new TV gig 

Page 38: Real Life Monsters 

Page 39: Kris Jenner blames social media for ending the 14-year run of Keeping Up with the Kardashians because when the show started there was no Instagram or Snapchat or other social media platforms but now she gripes that now there are so many the viewer doesn’t have to wait three or four months to see an episode but instead information spreads online in real time, Phil Collins’ ex-wife has traded him in for a 31-year-old guitarist who never managed to make much noise in the music industry -- Phil was furious when he heard Orianne Cevey married Tom Bates in Las Vegas, Black Panther star Chadwick Boseman died without a will according to his widow -- Taylor Simone Ledward filed a probate case in L.A. asking a judge to name her administrator of Boseman’s estimated $938,500 estate with limited authority

Page 44: Straight Talk -- Bruce Willis and Demi Moore’s daughter Rumer Willis claims posing for raunchy bondage shots proves she’s a liberated woman free from sexual stereotypes but it’s not that simple 

Page 45: Jeff Bridges is battling non-Hodgkin lymphoma which is a rampaging cancer that often spreads through the body to the liver and bone marrow and lungs -- while the cancer can be deadly experts say the five-year survival rate is 73 percent 

[liver-of-prometheus]

a conversation I had tonight: a thread

me: thor didn't evolve character-wise, he pulled a 180. that's not how you write good characters

Jay: Fair

I'm still kinda pissed about the fact that Val chained him up tho

me: yup

it was dumb

Jay: He took on like 6 dudes alone last movie

me: fat thor was bad

Jay: Yeah I didn't personally like fat thor

me: credit where credit's due, the russo's did the best they could with the shitty set-up taika gave them

but Loki

the literal magic man

Jay: Yep

Me: who has the tesseract

and can fucking teleport and shit

attacks thanos with a butter knife?

you had one job

just the one

Jay: I actually laughed at that scene when I saw it in theaters

I thought it was a fakeout

Me: i cried, then realized that realistically there was no way he's dead

Jay: And thanos was boutta get whooped

Me: feige said he wasn't

i thought so too

Jay: But then I realized

Me:but man, i thought loki just ran

i thought loki handed over the stone and straight up dipped back to sakaar or smth

Jay: Yeah

Sounds like a loki thing to do

Loki knows what's too much

He isn't stupid

Me: and thanos' whole balance thing, leave a dead clone, dip to space

never see earth again

live life chaotically

technically though, he aint dead

Jay: Yeah

That was the only redeeming thing

Me: the Loki series starts after his little "bye" moment in eg

therefore loki created a whole new time stream

he's still out there

and doing norns know what

Jay: So I loved the concept of Infinity war

The villain wins and all that

Me: yup

Jay: But I was so pissed

Me: i still cried at the deaths tho

loki's death made me actually angry

Jay: I couldn't proper enjoy the movie

Me: i was sad, and angry the whole time

i thought for sure loki'd be back in endgame

he was there

Jay: Yep

Me: for 30 seconds

fuck that

Jay: But not how I hoped

Yeah

Me: i wanted loki to be one of the stones and snap thanos' neck or freeze him to death

like the little snake story

but nope!

Jay: I was hoping

That if he did die

Me: "loki's dead, he ain't comin back"

russos did you even WATCH thor 1

Jay: He would make some deals with his sister the goddess of death

Me: if he died he'd have turned jotun blue

Jay: And pop out of a portal with an undead army

Me: also, I have a personal idea that he's not allowed to die

bc if he dies, he ends up in an afterlife

and he's already died twice then came back

first time: hel

second: valhalla

he annoyed both

to the point he's not allowed back

Jay:Lol

Me: so he is NOT ALLOWED to die

Jay: Sounds fair to me

Me: i want a character like that

it sounds like a very loki or deadpool thing to me

Jay: Accidental lich

Me: yeah

Jay: That would be great

And honestly though if he had a better and more meaningful true to his personality death

I would've still been sad

Me: yup

Jay: But it would be better than snapped like a fucking flimsy twig

Like even if the snap at the end got him That's better than what happened

Me: he's survived the literal void of space, torture, mind fuckery, being thrown around like a wet fish by the hulk, FUCKING IMPALED, tazed for fucking hours, was a frost jotun in the middle of an inferno, and got pulled out of a plane, and had his own knife thrown at him by his sister he didn't know he had

a snapped neck would've been nothing

he had so many tools at his disposal as well

Jay: I refuse to believe

Me: so many illusions or deceptive techniques

anything but goddamn butter knives

as much as I like them

they

were not

practical

and he knew it

Jay: It'd be great if the loki series ended with old him meeting new him

And everyone is like Oh shit ur alive

Me: and series Loki going "you tried to kill the titan" "yes.." "with a dagger" "yes" "i thought I was smarter"

"apparently not though because you got your neck snapped as the ship burned around you, you imbecile"

Jay: And another thing

About tdw

Me: ?

the only miss, was jane, and malekith

nearly everything else was perfect

Jay: I was pissed that loki wasn't allowed to go to friggas funeral

Me: I KNOW

EVEN CRIMINALS HAVE RIGHTS

HE SHOULD'VE AT LEAST BEEN ALLOWED TO WATCH FROM A BALCONY OR SOMETHING

LIKE SAY, WITH A GUARD

Jay: Ugh just chain him up while he's there but she's the only one Who loved him

He got fucked over

Me: put him on a balcony, with two gaurds, chained up, hell use the muzzle

idc

he should've gotten to grieve

Jay: IT WAS SO HEARTLESS HOW HE FOUND OUT

Me: and frigga, is actually manipulative

she fucking gaslighted him

odin would rant and shout, she'd calm him down and convince him things were fine

they weren't fine

Jay: fair fair

Me: "i tried to make him tell you"

fuck off lady

you didn't try hard enough

"you're our son" "make him proud"

she should've been saying she'd give him advice on ruling, and help him to be a good king while odin slept

everything she did made it worse

Jay: Everyone sucked in his family

And I gotta wonder if hela was really power hungry and shit or if Odin just had enough and did the same shit to both of them

Me: Honestly, he should've run away

the only person that cared for him in any meaningful way was Hogun

Even indifference is better than faked love or scorn

Hogun was the only person who didn't a: brush off Loki's abuse, b: convince him it was fine, c: mock or hate him, d: deny Loki's abuse existed bc "they're our friends, how could they hate you?" "your friends Thor, your friends."

Jay: Also

I may be wrong but is there evidence that baby loki was abandoned for dead

Me: he was left in a temple you say?

hmmm

ritual perhaps?

Jay: Odin just said M I N E

Me: or is it simply the fact that Ymir was the only jotun who was great in strength, size, and power

every other jotun gets two

Loki got strength and power

that is the mythology

and maybe loki was crying bc he knew his mom died, and was crying for her

he could've just been hungry

but no one would ever know

bc ODIN STOLE AN INNOCENT CHILD

Jay: E x a c t l y

[hetalialoverwrites]

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Part 14

First  -  Previous  -  Next

        After dressing up in suitably semi casual prep clothing, you and your friends went to Family Day. You all had arrived just as Ben and the others finished up their song, so the crowd was still packed together. Evie, Jay, and Carlos held politely move people aside so you and Mal could get through to a decently open area, though going between the tables required some maneuvering. Managing your ways over to the snack table, you watched as Mal grabbed a strawberry curiously and bit into it. She practically melted at the taste and you smirked a little, "Wow Mal... It looks like you want to marry that strawberry." You teased her. She moaned in delight, "I do. Sadly, he won't make it to the wedding." "Gives a whole new meaning to the term black widow." Evie teased with you. Mal playfully scoffed and rolled her eyes, sending the three of you into quiet laughter. Evie noticed something out of the corner of her eye and saw Ben waving to you. "(Y/n). Ben is trying to get your attention." She told you. You turned around and smiled at him, waving and giving Evie a small thank you. 

        Walking up the path to the gazebo Ben and his parents were taking a picture at, Ben walked down and held out a hand to you. "(Y/n)! (Y/n), I want to introduce you to my parents." Ben said, slipping his arm carefully around your shoulders as to not hit your wings. He could feel your wing's warmth as it hovered around him protectively. Turning the two of you to face his parents, he smiles at them and introduces you. "This is (Y/n), from the island. My girlfriend." Belle didn't look too pleased and it caused your wings to shake with nervousness as she tried to be polite. "Hi!" Belle greeted, obviously having not expected you. You gave her a shaky smile, "Hi..." King Adam waved awkwardly at you before Ben spoke up. "I was thinking maybe she could join us for lunch," Ben said, hoping for a yes. "Of... Course. A-Any friend of Ben's...?" King Adam asked. "Oh, I came with my friends and my sister." You told them politely. "Well, you should invite them." Belle looked even more uncomfortable and Adam reluctantly agreed. "Because the more the merrier!" Belle added with a shaky laugh. 

        "Oh, okay thank you. I'll go get them." You were about to pull away and go to your friends when King Adam spoke up. "Uh, how about a game of croquet before lunch?" He offered. Ben grinned, "You're on." He fist-bumped his dad before turning and waving at his parents and going off to get the others with you. "Have you ever played before?" Ben asked quietly. "No." You told him in a panic. You didn't want to embarrass yourself or Ben in front of his parents. Ben chuckled, "Don't worry, I'll teach you." Once the game as set up and your friends informed, King Adam, Queen Belle, you, and Ben were playing a game. The two parents calmed down a little as they watched Ben teach you how to play and you both were laughing and playing around as you kept missing. After a bit, though, you were able to get the hang of it and Ben went to go take his turn. You were waiting and watching in hopes to learn by observing when you felt a woman approach you. 

        "Hello there." The woman greeted pleasantly. You were relaxed and at peace in the sun and since there weren't a lot of people on the field as to not block the game, so you responded in kind, "Hi." You gave the woman a smile. She stood next to you and you took care in making sure your wings were away from her, "Now, have we met?" The woman asked, crossing her arms but staying pleasant. "Um, no, I don't think so. I'm a transfer student." You told her gently. She nodded in acceptance before Audrey walked over and they spoke, surprising you at the woman's identity. "Grammy?" You echoed, shocked. Audrey's smile fell into a scowl towards you, "Sleeping Beauty's mother?" She told you before rolling her eyes. "Come on Grammy. You shouldn't be talking to her unless you want to fall into another thousand-year sleep." You were more shocked at the incorrect information than Audrey's biting tone. 'Thousand-year sleep? They never went to sleep... Aurora did for a day before Mother woke her up. What is going on?' You thought to yourself in confusion before Queen Leah gasped in horror and backed up, drawing people's attention.

        "YOU!? H-How are you here? And how have you stayed so young?" Queen Leah asked, looking over you. You opened your mouth to correct her when Ben came over, holding your shoulders and pulling you to his wide protectively. "Queen Leah, it's okay. Maleficent is still on the island. This is her daughter (Y/n)." Ben introduced, trying to reassure the old woman. You felt irritation growing in your chest and your friends could tell you were agitated as they came over. "Don't you remember my proclamation to give the new generation a chance?" "A chance to what, Ben. Destroy us?" Queen Leah asked as if she were scolding a child. Your stomach felt sour and Ben felt you bristle in his arms. Queen Leah continued to speak, and Headmistress Fairy Godmother was trying to soothe her. "Come on, you remember. The poison apples. And the spells?" Queen Leah spoke to the King and Queen who only dropped their heads. "Spells..." Queen Leah's voice had venom dripping from it as she looked at you. "My daughter had to be raised by fairies because of your mother's curse. So, her first words, her first steps... I missed it all!" Queen Leah yelled accusingly at you, making you want to vomit. She crossed her arms and turned to Fairy Godmother, "You mustn't trust her." She whispered to the Headmistress. 

        You could feel your face heat up as you felt rage engulf your body. Ben looked down at you in concern as Mal came and took your hand, feeling just as upset as you were. Through gritted teeth, you opened your mouth to retaliate when Chad stepped in front of you, "Go away. Stay away from her." He said, standing in front of Queen Leah. "Don't do this Chad." Ben stood up for you. "What? They were raised by their parents, Ben. What do you think villains teach their kids? Huh? Kindness? Fair play? No way, okay? You stole another girl's boyfriend." Chad glared at you accusingly. "Hey, hey!" Ben stepped up, giving Chad a warning look as he moved on. "You enjoy hurting people." Chad pointed at Jay. "And you... You're nothing but a gold digger and a cheat." Chad spat to Evie. Your resolve snapped and you pushed away from Ben, who stumbled back as your wings also forced him back. You glared at Chad, your eyes glowing amber and making him shrink back. "THAT IS ENOUGH!" Your voice bellowed out it's command before quieting once more, though still easily heard by the onlookers around who gasped and backed away. 

        You turned to Queen Leah, growling, "First of all, let's get a few things straight. My MOTHER only cursed your daughter because your husband chopped off her wings to become king!" You hissed bitterly at the woman. "After her curse, she was content to sit back and watch what happened. You could have kept your daughter in your stupid castle the ENTIRE TIME AND ACTUALLY RAISE HER, but you didn't! So that is your own fault! And those fairies that took care of your daughter almost killed her multiple ways because they were INCOMPETENT!" You yelled furiously at her before counting down everything you could remember from your mother's stories. "Starvation because they tried to feed a baby raw carrots and radishes pulled directly out of the ground. Being killed by wild animals by forgetting her outside! FALLING OFF A CLIFF A FEW FEET AWAY FROM THEM! And you never fell into a thousand-year sleep! The curse was only against Aurora and she was asleep for less than a DAY!" You hissed at the Queen before turning to Chad.

        "Now that is settled, let's move onto your accusations." You bit at him, stepping forward and watching Chad scramble back. "Jay has never once enjoyed hurting people in his life! He used to because that is how you survive on the Isle!" You snarled at him; your eyes glowing red as they had been slowly changing over time. "Evie never cheated on any test, exam, or slip of homework. The only time she has ever not known the answer and got it correct before is in since class when Mr. Delay decided to mock her by asking her a question on material that hadn't been covered in class yet." You remembered something and grinned cruelly. "Oh, and I remember something else too! Isn't Headmistress Fairy Godmother investigating you and Mr. Delay on charges of theft of a priceless family heirloom? Evie's priceless family heirloom that you stole after she wouldn't do your homework for you?" You asked, tilting your head and laughing bitterly as his face paled.

        "That's what I thought. And lastly, I am only going to say this once, so you better listen. Ben and I are dating now. I didn't steal another girl's boyfriend. And for the record, I had only been here for about two weeks and I could already see that Audrey was treating Ben like he was her property and her right to own." You glared at Chad and making Ben's parents gasp. Huffing after all of that, you walked back to your awaiting friends and shook your head. Laughing bitterly once again, you finished, "You know what...? For people who are supposed to be so nice... And so good... You people are worse than your so-called villains." And with that, you left with Evie and Mal trying to console you as you cried and let all the stress of the day out. Jay and Carlos shot another glare back to Chad and the others before following swiftly after you. 

        Lunchtime later that day was silent as your tears had dried and you were consoled. Jay and Evie thanked you for sticking up for them and Mal and Carlos told you that you were completely in the right, defending yourself. Sitting at the lunch table, you could see Ben walking up to you five. "Hey, guys. How is everyone?" He asked, receiving silence once again. The day had put a damper on all your spirits. "Yeah...? Hey, listen. Forget about it. Alright?" Ben told you all, going to stand behind you and carefully doing where he thought your wings would be. Putting his hands on your shoulders in an attempt to comfort you, he continued, "Forget about it. Alright? It was nothing. Let it go. Tomorrow after the coronation everything will be okay." Ben promised before leaning down as no one had looked at him. He whispered in your ear, "I've got to go..." And then he squeezed your shoulders and walked off. You and Mal shared a look, not appreciating Ben's words. But he was right. Everything would be better after the coronation. 

        Doug, noticing the prince was gone came up to the table. "Listen Evie, I want to talk about earlier today, I just--" "Doug!" Chad called. Doug ignored him and looked back to Evie, who was looking up at him hopefully. "Doug!" Chad called again, giving the boy a look. "What!?" Doug asked before having a staring match with Chad and losing. "I'm sorry..." Doug mumbled to Evie before sitting at the next table with Chad. Evie pushed her tray away, losing her appetite. Audrey walked behind you with Jane, coming very close to the backs of your wings. "How long does she think that's gonna last?" Audrey asked Jane. "(Y/n)'s just the bad girl infatuation." She smirked. "Yeah, I mean... It's not like he's ever going to make a villain a Queen." Jane sneered, leaning closer to you before getting whipped in the face by your invisible wings. Yes. You hit her with them. She stumbled back and almost fell on the table form the force before you looked over your shoulder at Audrey, your eyes glowing amber once again.

        You had a cruel and amused smirk as you looked at her, "It would almost sound like you are bitter that I took away your ticket to the crown of Auradon." You simpered at the girl. Audrey gasped, "How dare you! I--" "You know, after what I pointed out today... About your obvious use of Ben as if he were some little toy or a piece of property, I highly doubt that your little trick is going to work on anyone ever again. They might not believe me now, but it will sit in the back of their minds. And the next time they see it, they will know instantly what you are trying to do." You tittered in amusement. "What do you know? You're just the nothing daughter of a no-good villain!" Audrey hissed at you. You laughed and turned more towards Audrey as Mal got ready to undo Jane's hair spell. "You know Audrey... You're talking a lot of shit for someone within spelling distance."

        She didn't look convinced and you stood up, turning around without hitting her. "Do you think I'm joking?" You asked, holding up a hand of your sparkling amber magic. Mal stood up and called her own green magic, "Reverse." She commanded it, flicking her hand. Jane's hair sparked with Mal's magic for a moment before turning back to how it used to be. Audrey, realizing that yes, she was within spelling distance, ran away with the other preps You turned to the others and smiled, noticing Evie and Carlos had stood up as well. "I'm really looking forward to tomorrow." You and Mal spoke together, giving each other an amused look before walking off with your friends behind you. Any thoughts of staying in Auradon were left at the abandoned table.

[soleminisanction]

BatCat/Batfam Phantom Thieves AU

- It starts with Bruce, of course, his parents gunned down in front of him as a child. But in this world it's no random mugging, it's a professional hit by conspirators within Wayne Enterprises. Before the couple is even cold in the ground, those conspirators have forced the young heir out of not only his company, but his inheritance and ancestral home.

- Bruce and Alfred are by no means destitute, but they are forced to live within their means in a humble townhouse until Bruce's trust fund matures. He vows to remember everyone who stole his family and their legacy, and see them pay for their crimes.

- As a teen, he meets Selina, a lovely but lonely classmate who feeds the stray cats along Bruce's morning jog route. After a few chance meetings, he starts seeking her out at school, then at a party, after which he learns that she's been avoiding going home for a few days for fear of her abusive father. Bruce insists she come home with him instead of sleeping on the streets.

- He and Alfred set her up in a guest bedroom, and late that night Bruce sneaks in to join her with food and flashlights. They spend hours softly talking of their dreams: his determination to steal back his birthright, and her desire to live in comfort and safety. They read together from Alfred's collection, revelling especially in the adventures of Arsene Lupin and Robin Hood.

- The next morning, Selina's father comes looking for her. Alfred responds by pulling out his shotgun, running the bastard off, and calling the police.

- Selina is to be moved to a foster home, somewhere her father won't find her even if he makes bail. The night before she leaves, she breaks into Bruce's room to kiss him and leave him with a calling card, promising that they'll meet again one day.

- When Bruce's trust fund matures, he dumps a fair chunk of it into his years of world travel, learning from magicians, fighters, security experts, and famous thieves in turn. He returns to Gotham after five years with plan, costume and code-name already in hand.

- Soon, the elite of Gotham find themselves terrorized by a dashing phantom who signs his calling cards with the symbol of a bat and promises to expose their evil deeds. And he does so, sneaking in to homes and towers under the cover of darkness to steal secrets and valuables, with a particular interest in those treasures that once belonged to the Waynes, though of course he varies things up so that his identity is less suspect.

- For the first year or so of his career, The Batman pursues only his own vengeance. But that comes to an end with the death of the Flying Graysons.

- Seeing himself in the young boy who lost his parents to another's greed, Bruce steps in to adopt Dick, using the money from his various heists to move things along. They bond over a shared love of adventure stories and so, when Dick discovers his secret (there is much less room to hide things in a penthouse suite) he chooses to model his partner-in-crime persona after Robin Hood.

- And that "steal from the rich, give to the poor" mantra does affect how Batman operates from then on. Sure, they rob Boss Zucco blind and deliver evidence of his illegal schemes to the police, but they also begin targeting other gangsters too, as well as corrupt businessmen who take advantage of their employees and the heads of organized crime.

- Jim Gordon in this world is a good man, sworn to capture the Phantom Thieves who so recklessly disregard the law, and is thus deeply conflicted by accepting their help to take out other criminals. But he will do so begrudgingly, even if he can never truly admit where some of the information comes from.

- Shortly after Zucco's arrest, a new thief -- one less dramatic and not looking to spread any messages to the elite -- slinks into town. The only attention she seems interested in getting is the Bat's, as she makes a point of snatching several prizes out from under his nose and leaving only a calling card of her own behind, signed with a cat and sealed with a kiss.

- Of course it's Selina, now calling herself Catwoman and living in the luxary she always dreamed. She approaches Bruce first at a high-class party, unabashedly flirting while Dick makes faces behind their backs. Then they meet on a rooftop and, after a bit of cat-and-mouse persuasion where he negotiates the return of some Wayne treaures, they decide to team up.

- Soon, Selina moves in to the suite. It's almost domestic.

- ("I never wanted this," she thinks one night as she watches Bruce tuck a sleeping Dick into bed. "Never wanted children or a family. Never wanted to risk doing to them what the bastard did to me. But this, this place. This moment, this family. This, I could get used to.")

- Babs is a sympathetic Phantom Thief supporter who, rather than taking up a Batgirl role, acts as more of Spoiler -- interfering with her dad's investigations and getting in the way just enough that the thieves can go free. Dick takes notice and strikes up a friendship with her that gradually turns to flirtation, maybe even love.

- It's Selina who finds Jason stealing to survive on the streets. Feeling a kinship with him, she brings him home and declares that she's taking on an apprentice too. Literally no one is fooled.

- Tim is as keen an amateur detective in this world as he ever was, but even though the police are offering a huge reward for Batman's identity, he tells no one. Instead, he approaches Jason at school, asks to meet Batman, gets blown off and follows him home anyway, earnestly approaching Bruce and Selina with his request to be trained as a thief.

- See, he's recently learned that his world-hopping archaeologist parents are complicit in a a lot of illegal artifact training, since it brings them a lot of personal prestige. So he wants to restore some honor to his family name by returning those objects to their proper owners.

- Bruce is impressed by the kid's skill and Selina sees a child being neglected. So, surprise, now Jay (code-named Stray) has a training buddy (code-named Wren), and the Phantoms are robbing museums now too, which only helps to hide their various motivations and crimes. The Drakes eventually wind up in a white-collar prison, freeing Tim up to be adopted for real, but not before…

- Bruce stumbles upon Cassandra while scoping out David Cain as a possible criminal contact. Thus, she becomes the Bat's next "treasure," snatched from under his nose in a harried caper that only gets more drastic because Selina threatens to scratch out Cain's eyes. Cass becomes the heir apparent to Catwoman's name (code-named “Kitten” for the time being) and shares a room with Tim when they move him in too.

- (Side note, please imagine how adorable little thief sibs Cass and Tim would be going on heists together without mom and dad along. Double-teaming young marks with shameless flirting at parties and befriending the lonely children of rich assholes by turning up at their windows night after night like a pair of masked Peter Pans. Gah, I love it.)

- Steph serves a role similar to Barbara, only she Spoils the plots of the organized crime and large street gangs to catch the meddlesome thieves who like to screw them over -- they're particular targets of Jay and Dick. She and Babs meet at some point and get on like a house on fire, acting as support for the Family Thieves on the civilian end. Duke, Harper, etc. do something similar on a more case-by-case basis.

- I’m honestly not sure how Damian would fit in, though I can say for sure that Ra’s wouldn’t be calling Bruce “Detective” in this world. “Phantom” maybe. Perhaps his skill catches Talia’s eye when he tries to steal some powerful magical artifact from the League early on, before he re-unites with Selina. Or maybe Damian is Selina and Bruce’s (first) kid, a super young child compared to his adopted siblings. Still toying with ideas. 

- Either way, they’re an elegant family of phantom thieves who travel the world whenever they need to take the heat off but always, eventually, return to the Gotham City beloved by the Waynes, prepared to expose the corruption in the shadows and set right what the law put wrong. 

[mychemicalimagines]

The One Where Rooster Got The Girl

Summary: Colt dated Melissa Roth after him and Abby broke up, he shows up and dumps her leaving her pregnant without knowing. He comes back and finds out about the baby he lost and that she married to Rooster..How will this change everything.

Roosters full name is Jameson Bennett, so when Melissa talks about James, she’s talking about him.

Gifs are not mine.

Warnings: Talks of baby’s death and cussing.

Sorry there isn’t much Lovey in this. I just wanted to put this out here quickly and over the very emotional moments. If you have any concerns or comments, please comment or message me.

If you like it please leave feedback through messages, my ask box or the comment section(:

Tags: @thorman-barnes s @supernova1737 @hurricaneharleyhusky

I sit in the passengers seat of Beau’s truck. Just listening to the radio with Drake, the Bennett’s dog, in my lap. I look over at Beau.

“Do you think Rooster took a look at the tractor?” I ask. He smiles over at me.

“It’s Rooster, of course not.” he answers. I laugh as we pull in the drive way.

We went to the local Tractor Supply to grab more fencing for around the yard. Some of the lines are about to break. I get out of the truck after Beau parks and he lets Drake out on his side. We walk up the porch and I sit down. I can’t stand wearing my work boots around the house. I feel like i’m going to track something through the house. Beau kisses my head and goes to the door.

“Rooster you home?” Beau yells inside.

“Yes sir!” Rooster yells back. “Living room!”

I laugh quietly, “Got him trained.”

Beau winks at me and goes inside.

“I thought you were going to take a look at that tractor and try and see-“Beau gets cut off.

“Check it out. Colts home,” Rooster says loud enough so I can hear him.

“What the hell are you going here? I thought you were in Canada playing amatures football?” Beau asks. I decide to take my boots off slowly. I don’t want to see Colt right now.

“Semi-Pro. I was playing for the Saskatoon Cold. It’s like Maimi Heat, but you know. cold” Colt clarifies. I roll my eyes. We knew that.

“Yeah we know. We also heard you got arrested for flashing Shani Twain while you were up there,” Beau says. I can tell he was smirking.

When it hit our local paper, he put it on the fridge to show his perfect Colt wasn’t so perfect. I dated Colt for 2 years about 7 years ago. He only came to town to see me and one time years ago he stopped by for a try out close to town and came over to talk for a bit, we had sex, then as he was leaving he broke up with me. “We just want different things right now” he said. Then drove away in Roosters truck. If it wasn’t for that night, I wouldnt be where i am now. I smile to myself. I stand up and walk in the front door, closing the screen door quietly.

“I remember last time you stopped by. Said you were done with football. You wanted to start helping around here. How long ago was that, Rooster? About 6 years?” Beau asks Rooster.

“Yes sir. It was on my birthday. We picked Melissa up and was supposed to go to dinner, but you guys fought the whole time. Hey I got ten bucks anyone here knows how old I am.” Rooster says sitting forward in his chair. He looks over to the door when I move my arms. He smiles, and I put 3 fingers up on my right hand, 5 on my left hand. I smile when he winks at me and pats his pocket meaning I’ll get the money later.

“Then you snuck out of here in the middle of the night. Took your brothers truck. Went and dumped your beautiful girlfriend. You left the damn gate open!” Beau snaps, then he notices me standing near the table making his frown weaken. He hates being angry in front of me.

“Okay that wasn’t my fault! Rooster was chasing me yelling ‘that’s my truck.’And so I thought he was gonna close it” Colt tries to explain. He has only thought of himself his entire existence. He didn’t see the point that he dumped me and stole his brothers truck. It’s always someone else’s fault.

“Our cows were all over town. After you dumped Mel, she found one standing in the Sizzler parking lot, just staring at a picture of a rib-eye.”Beau says.

“I’m 35,” Rooster says trying to defuse the tension. I take off my jacket and lay it on the kitchen island, then i lean on it. I gotta see how this conversation ends. Colt sighs and puts his foot on the table.

Beau looks down, “what the fuck is on your feet?” I can’t see but I can see the humerus look on Roosters face.

“They’re boots,” Colt says in a duh voice.

“Those are not boots,” Beau says.

“They’re Uggs,” Colt says. I cover my mouth to keep from laughing. What guy wears Uggs? Rooster would never wear my boots. “That’s Australian for boots” Colt says.

“They’re ladies shoes. I just bought some for Mel for her birthday” Beau says. It’s true I wear them to Maggie’s all the time. They’re so comfy.

“Okay that’s the forth time you guys brought up Melissa. Quit it, we broke up years ago. She was nothing but a rebound after Abby! I never liked her! I pityed her! She ended up being a whore anyway.” Colt says putting his foot down from the table angrily.

“Hey!” Rooster says, “Don’t you dare say anything bad about her.”

“Why not? I know she cheated on me!” Colt says and Beau cuts him off.

“She had everything going for her and you had to fuck it up!” Beau says.

“How? So what, i dumped her big deal! She wanted me back, wouldn’t stop calling me. I had to change my damn number” Colt says.

“She kept calling you to tell you she was pregnant!” Rooster snaps.

Colt looks at him, “what?”

“She was pregnant Colt, that was the only reason she was calling you,” Beau says.

“How do we know it’s mine? She slept around-“ Colt starts. Before I could say anything, Rooster stops him.

“She slept with 2 guys in her life time. Dad took a test and it came back that the baby and dad were 100% related. The kid was yours.”

“If she was pregnant the kid would be about 5 now, right? Where is it? Did she take it and leave?” Colt says smartassly throwing out his hands.

“Jameson Beau Bennett was born October 13th at 11:58 pm” I say, finally letting Colt know I was in the room. He quickly turns around. He gets a shocked look on his face. I guess he noticed my transformation.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Colt asks walking over.

“Oh you mean the thousands of calls that you ignored?” I say still leaning on the island.

“Could have left a voice mail.” He says.

“Oh right,” i put my fingers to my ears acting like i’m on a phone, “Hey Colt I’m pregnant. Don’t worry Mr.Football Star, James and Beau are helping me, and James is raising it as his own bye,” I say acting like I left a voice mail.

“Wait Rooster raised him?” Colt asks turning around, “Where is Jameson? Wait you even named him after Rooster? What the fuck?”

I push off the island and walk up to Colt. Being 5’3” isn’t good when you’re trying to be intimidating.

“Because James was more of a father to Jay than you would ever be,” I say in a stern voice.

“I didn’t get a choice!” Colt snaps at me. I glare and Rooster runs around Colt and pulls me back knowing I’d do something i’d regret.

“I called you all the fucking time! I gave you a choice, either answer the fucking phone or not learn about your child!” I snap trying to pull away from Rooster but he holds me still.

“Where is he then? I’ll let him know who his father is!” Colt says looking around.

“Jameson passed away October 14th at 1:03 am,” Beau says walking over to Rooster and I.

“What?” Colt whispers. “how?”

“He didn’t get enough oxygen through his umbilical cord, so when she went into premature labor they noticed his lungs weren’t developed enough to survive,” Rooster answers for me because i start tearing up.

“I’m sorry Mel, I didn’t know-“ he starts.

“Because you didn’t want to know! If you would have answered your damn phone you would have known!” I snap. Rooster wraps his arms around me lovingly and Colt glares a bit.

“What you guys dating now?” He asks.

“Nope,” Rooster says.

“Then why are you holding her like that?” He asks smartly.

“Next week we’ll be married 3 years,” Rooster smirks.

“Married?!” Colts yells.

“Yeah,” I say questioning.

“First you try and steal my kid, then you marry my ex?” Colt asks, ”What the fuck?”

“I love her Colt, get over it” Rooster says.

“You don’t love, you fuck and release,” Colt glares at Rooster.

“Drop it Colt, you weren’t here to see how much James helped me! He made sure i was healthy enough to grow Jay. When i gave birth and Jay passed away I wanted to die! James helped me through it all. He helped me realize that this was a bump in the road called life. I can’t let this control me. I won’t forget Jay but I had to move on. I fell in love with him for all of that.” I say wiping the tears from my eyes.

Colt looks down then back up at me, “What can I do?”

“Nothing, everything was paid for. We had him cremated,” I pull my necklace from my shirt. He sees a small locket. “We have some of his ashes on us at all times, so he’s always with us.” I say.

Colt looks over Rooster and as he pulls out his chain Colt stops him and points to his tattoo on his forearm,”You got tattoos too?”

Jameson Beau

10-13-10 10-14-10

Rest Easy Angel, Fly High

with his footprints.

“Mel and I got matching ones,” he says.

“Who signed the birth certificate,” Colt asks.

“I did,” Rooster says. “I was gonna raise him, he might not have been my actual son but I was gonna raise him as such.”

“He was my son!” Colt yells.

“Colt, shut up. He was pretty much Roosters son! He took her to all the appointments. Made sure she took all her medication, felt the first kick. Loved him since the moment Mel told him she was pregnant. We never questioned her on if it was yours or not. We did the test because we knew you’d ask that!” Beau snaps.

“It’s okay Beau, I’m done with this conversation. Colt, James is right. You weren’t there to sign it. He wasn’t using me as a rebound as you said you were doing before. James actually loves me for me, if you can’t accept that, oh fucking well” I wipe my eyes as I tear more.

Rooster looks at Colt, “I love her and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Colt looks down and goes to speak but i put my hand up to silence him, “I’m going to see Carla, she’s pregnant.”

I turn to Rooster and stand on my tip toes and softly capture his lips with mine into a passionate kiss. He deepens the kiss by putting his hand on my neck.

Colt coughs falsely causing us to pull away and I roll my eyes and I press my lips to his quickly. I walk to the kitchen and grab my jacket and walk out the door. Great just what I need on a day like this.

I know this kinda sucked and i’m sorry. Thanks for reading!

[ralphspina-blog1]

oasis songs for the pacific (hbo war) characters

this is hilariously, bizarrely niche, but it came about from a conversation with @gendryw4ters and i couldn’t help myself. also there are some surprise heartbreakers here so don’t think it’s all fun and games!!!

robert leckie: live forever // Maybe I will never be all the things that I want to be / But now is not the time to cry / Now's the time to find out why I think you're the same as me / We see things they'll never see / You and I we're gonna live forever / Maybe I don’t really want to know how your garden grows / Cause I just wanna fly / Lately did you ever feel the pain in the morning rain / As it soaks you to the bone?

ronnie gibson: where did it all go wrong? // But I hope you know that it won´t let go / It sticks around with you until the day you die / And i hope you know that it´s touch and go / I hope the tears don´t stain the world that waits outside / Where did it all go wrong?

hoosier smith: supersonic // I need to be myself, I can't be no-one else / I'm feeling supersonic / Give me gin and tonic / You can have it all but how much do you want it? / You need to find out, cause no-one's gonna tell you what I'm on about / You need to find a way for what you want to say, but before tomorrow

runner conley: slide away // Slide away and give it all you've got / My today fell in from the top / I dream of you and all the things you say / I wonder where you are now? / Hold me down when all the world's asleep / Need you now, you've knocked me off my feet / I dream of you and we talk of growing old / But you said please don't / Slide in, baby, together we'll fly / I've tried praying but I don't know just what you're saying to me

chuckler juergens: rock ‘n’ roll star // I live my life for the stars that shine / People say it's just a waste of time / Then they say I should feed my head / That to me was just a day in bed / I'll take my car and drive real far / They're not concerned about the way we are / In my mind my dreams are real / Now we're concerned about the way I feel / Tonight I’m a rock and roll star

sid phillips: let there be love // Come on baby blue, shake up your tired eyes / The world is waiting for you / May all your dreaming fill the empty sky/ But if it makes you happy, keep on clapping / Just remember I'll be by your side / And if you don't let go, it's gonna pass you by / Who kicked a hole in the sky so the heavens would cry over me? / Who stole the soul from the sun in a world come undone at the seams? / Let there be love

eugene sledge: little by little // We the people fight for our existence / We don't claim to be perfect but we're free / We dream our dreams alone with no resistance / Fading like the stars we wish to be / You know I didn't mean what I just said / But my God woke up on the wrong side of his bed / And it just don't matter now

 snafu shelton: d’you know what i mean? // Look into the wall of my mind's eye / I think I know, but I don't know why / The questions are the answers you might need / Coming in a mess, going out in style / I ain't good-looking, but I'm someone's child / No one can give me the air that's mine to breathe / I met my maker, I made him cry

 jay de l’eau: cast no shadow // Here's a thought for every man who tries to understand what is in his hands / He walks along the open road of love and life, surviving if he can / Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say / Chained to all the places that he never wished to stay / As he faced the sun he cast no shadow / As they took his soul they stole his pride

 ack ack haldane: stop crying your heart out // Hold up, hold on / Don't be scared / You'll never change what's been and gone / May your smile shine on / Don't be scared / Your destiny may keep you warm / 'Cause all of the stars are fading away / Just try not to worry / You'll see them some day / Take what you need and be on your way / And stop crying your heart out

bill leyden: roll with it // You gotta roll with it / You gotta take your time / You gotta say what you say, don't let any fucker get in your way / 'Cause it's all too much for me to take / Don't ever stand aside / Don't ever be denied / You wanna be who you'd be if you're coming with me

rv burgin: who feels love? // Found what I'd lost inside / My spirit has been purified / Take a thorn from my pride / And hand in hand we'll take a walk outside / Thank you for the sun / The one that shines on everyone who feels love / Now there's a million years between my fantasies & fears / I feel love

[junker-town]

Southern Miss will be as volatile as ever in 2018. Hooray!

Jay Hopson’s Golden Eagles will careen all over the road but probably finish with the same win total as always.

Southern Miss at its best is a terrifying mix of speed and salt and chips on shoulders. It is a team that won’t win all its games but can win against any opponent.

As such a foe, the Golden Eagles are graded on curves. We judge them against Conference USA peers, obviously. And they are given an S&P+ rating just like everybody else. But we also grade them on the SASM scale: Salty-Ass Southern Miss.

It’s up to Jay Hopson, then, to bring the salt back.

Southern Miss is the poster child for both inspiring “doing more with less” tales and all the problems that come with so many programs having to do more with less. The Golden Eagles have punched above their weight for much of the last 60-plus years.

Finances are not good. When a USM assistant proves himself, you can all but guarantee that schools will swoop in. (The latest example: FAU stole Hopson’s defensive coordinator on the precipice of spring ball.) But onward the Golden Eagles go, figuring out ways to scrape forward and win between seven and nine wins each year.

The one recent time USM strayed, things got weird. The Eagles finally broke through and won 12 games and a Conference USA title in 2011, then lost both head coach Larry Fedora and 32 of the next 36 games. But Todd Monken got the ship steadied in 2015 with a nine-win season, and Hopson has captained 15 wins in two years. The recipe is volatile, the result is again steady.

Things were especially volatile in 2017, even as the results were as steady as ever.

Using postgame win expectancy — a tool designed to say “based on the key stats you produced in this game, you could have expected to win X percent of the time” — Southern Miss had barely any in-between. The Golden Eagles had a postgame win expectancy of 90 percent or higher in seven games (including an unlucky season-opening loss to Kentucky) and an eighth game at 78 percent. They were also at 25 percent or lower five times (including a lucky win over Marshall).

Either they had all the answers, or they had almost none. They took down UTSA when the Roadrunners were looking like the best team in the conference, handled Louisiana Tech on the road with a backup QB*, and needed bad breaks to miss out on a second win over Kentucky in as many years. They also lost to North Texas and UAB by a combined 33 and blew a ton of opportunities in falling to the worst Tennessee team in ages.

Based on what returns and what doesn’t, this year could be equally volatile. Southern Miss returns starting quarterback Kwadra Griggs, three-fifths of his offensive line, and basically every linebacker. The Eagles must also replace leading rusher (and No. 3 receiver) Ito Smith and each of Griggs’ top four targets, plus four of their top six linemen and six of seven in the secondary.

Hopson loaded up on JUCO transfers — three defensive linemen, two defensive backs, two receivers, plus a linebacker, an offensive lineman, and a quarterback — which isn’t uncommon in Hattiesburg. But that makes an unstable mix even more so, and it makes Southern Miss harder than normal to predict.

Oh, who am I kidding? The Eagles are going to win at least seven games, pull a nice upset, and suffer a couple of incomprehensible losses. The mix is always crazy, and the win total usually stays about the same.

* If we’re talking about instability, then we need to spend a moment on the Louisiana Tech game. Backup Keon Howard threw a pick six at the end of the first half, and Tech held a 27-16 lead with less than 90 seconds remaining. But a field goal, an onside kick, a 22-yard touchdown pass, and a two-point conversion sent the game to OT. Tech threw an INT, then Howard did the same. On Howard’s next pass, however, he threw a 25-yard touchdown. USM somehow survived one of the best and worst games of the year.

Offense

Both Griggs and backup Keon Howard contributed to Southern Miss’ ups and downs. Griggs outlasted Howard in fall camp and opened up with three straight good to great performances. He carried a 154.7 passer rating (which would have ranked 11th nationally over an entire season) into the North Texas game, then injured his hand, went 19-for-42 in a loss to the Mean Green, and missed the next three games.

Howard came in, did great things against UTSA (213.5 passer rating) and great-and-terrible things against UTEP and Louisiana Tech (four TDs, four picks). But the offense stagnated against UAB and Tennessee, and Hopson and offensive coordinator Shannon Dawson brought a less-than-100-percent Griggs in in each game, hoping for a spark. Didn’t happen.

After the Tennessee disappointment, Griggs re-established himself, throwing seven touchdowns to no picks with a 62 percent completion rating in the final three games of the regular season, all wins.

In games in which Griggs was at least mostly healthy, USM was 5-2, with losses only to power conference Kentucky (unlucky) and Florida State (drastically outmanned). That might be a sign, but Griggs has to again win the job. He’ll face a challenge from both Howard and incoming three-star JUCO Jack Abraham.

One assumes Griggs is the favorite, but his supporting cast will change.

Justin Ford-USA TODAY Sports

Kwadra Griggs

For starters, the security blankets are gone.

Ito Smith rushed for at least 90 yards in six of Griggs’ eight starts, and he caught at least two passes in 12 of 13 games. He was a rock for each of the last three seasons and finished his career with 4,536 rushing yards, 1,446 receiving yards, and 49 total touchdowns.

Wideout Korey Robertson exploded in 2017. While Allenzae Staggers had a bit of a disappointing senior season (he went from 1,157 receiving yards in 2016 to 471), Robertson erupted for 76 catches, 1,106 yards, and 12 scores. Only 19 players were targeted at least 120 times in 2017 like Robertson, and only two of those combined a marginal efficiency of at least plus-13 percent and a marginal explosiveness of at least 0.30 points per play: Robertson and Texas Tech’s Keke Coutee.

With Robertson and Coutee gone, the receiving corps has turned over to sophomores. Quez Watkins, Jaylond Adams, and Tim Jones all flashed massive upside but produced all the inconsistency you’d expect from freshmen. They combined for just a 50 percent catch rate but 18.8 yards per catch.

Between this trio, JUCOs Neil McLaurin and DeMichael Harris, and perhaps a tight end like Jay’Shawn Washington, some efficiency options need to be found. The explosiveness is obvious.

Ben Queen-USA TODAY Sports

Quez Watkins

Then there’s the matter of replacing Smith. A trio of seniors will give it a shot.

Tez Parks has been a role player for three years, rushing for 583 yards (5.1 per carry) and catching 17 passes. He proved dynamic in the return game in 2016, but it hasn’t translated on offense just yet.

George Payne returns after missing 2017 with a hip injury. He has 940 career yards, but only at 4.1 per carry.

T’Rod Daniels is intriguing. The JUCO transfer carried only 21 times last year but gained 160 yards in the process. The 5’9, 175-pounder brings massive speed and could become a perimeter threat if either Parks or Payne can handle a decent load between the tackles.

Whoever wins the job will run behind a decent line. USM gave 35 starts to a freshman (guard Arvin Fletcher) and two sophomores (tackle Drake Dorbeck, guard Ty Pollard) last year, and two of them (Fletcher and Dorbeck) ended up honorable mention all-conference.

Defense

Pecoraro’s defense was mostly awesome. The Golden Eagles couldn’t contain UNT’s spread and got outmuscled by Florida State but otherwise allowed just 21.2 points per game and 4.8 yards per play. They were 32nd in Def. S&P+, their best ranking since 2011 (28th).

In 2011, USM boasted one of the most experienced, disruptive mid-major fronts; 2017 was no different. Four different linemen recorded at least 5.5 tackles for loss, and three more recorded at least two. But four of these seven are gone, including leading end Xavier Thigpen and the top two tackles, Rod Crayton and Draper Riley.

Ends LaDarius Harris and Jacques Turner do return after combining for 13 TFLs and five sacks, so that’s something. But tackle is going to be rebuilt around some combination of upperclassmen Delmond Landry and Demarrio Smith (15 tackles, three TFLs last year), redshirt freshman Andrew Cole, and JUCOs Isaiah Johnson and Von’Darius Freeman. Johnson was one of the stars of the recruiting class, and Freeman is enormous, but that’s still a tricky position for rebuilding.

The Golden Eagles will still have one of the conference’s best linebacking corps, at least. Racheem Boothe (nine TFLs, 3.5 sacks) was one of the best freshmen in the country, Paxton Schrimsher (11 TFLs, 5.5 sacks) was great in Pecoraro’s WOLF role, senior Jeremy Sangster is solid in his QB-of-the-defense role, and Sherrod Ruff had 11 TFLs in 2016 before missing 2017 with injury. That’s a lot to choose from.

Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports

Racheem Boothe

Can a couple of those linebackers play safety? Probably not (though, hey, Boothe was only listed at 210 pounds last year...), and that’s a problem. Of the seven DBs who logged more than 10 tackles last year, only sophomore corner Rachaun Mitchell returns. The next leading tackler at CB is sophomore WyDale Flott, who had all of three stops.

The return of nickel back Picasso Nelson Jr. from injury will help, but only so much. There’s a ton of production to replace here — the departed accounted for 19 TFLs, nine INTs, and 40 breakups — and the experience is minimal. If sophomores like Mitchell, Flott, Tyler Barnes, and Kris Reed and JUCOs Ty Williams and Ky’el Hemby aren’t ready to produce at a high level (and it’s almost unfair to expect them to), the drop-off could be immense.

And that’s without mentioning the whole “spring practice is about to start, and they suddenly don’t have a coordinator” thing.

Special Teams

Southern Miss’ special teams unit was just sort of there in 2017. Not great, not terrible. Place-kicker Parker Shaunfield has a booming, if rather scattershot, leg — he missed two PATs and three field goals under 40 yards but was 4-for-4 beyond 40. Zac Everett was fine as a freshman punter, and both Quez Watkins and T’Rod Daniels were more or less fine as return men. It’s hard to know what else to say about a pretty non-descript unit, so we’ll just move on.

2018 outlook

2018 Schedule & Projection Factors

Date Opponent Proj. S&P+ Rk Proj. Margin Win Probability 1-Sep Jackson State NR 39.8 99% 8-Sep UL-Monroe 107 5.6 63% 15-Sep at Appalachian State 63 -10.4 27% 22-Sep Rice 128 12.7 77% 29-Sep at Auburn 5 -31.0 4% 13-Oct at North Texas 86 -4.9 39% 20-Oct UTSA 104 4.8 61% 27-Oct at Charlotte 126 6.6 65% 3-Nov Marshall 62 -5.4 38% 10-Nov at UAB 91 -3.5 42% 17-Nov Louisiana Tech 70 -3.1 43% 24-Nov at UTEP 130 11.8 75%

Projected S&P+ Rk 94 Proj. Off. / Def. Rk 98 / 86 Projected wins 6.3 Five-Year S&P+ Rk -4.5 (92) 2- and 5-Year Recruiting Rk 74 / 82 2017 TO Margin / Adj. TO Margin* -1 / -1.4 2017 TO Luck/Game +0.2 Returning Production (Off. / Def.) 42% (46%, 37%) 2017 Second-order wins (difference) 8.3 (-0.3)

S&P+’s returning production measure places heavy weight on continuity in the receiving corps and defensive backfield, as those two spots tend to have a higher impact on year-to-year improvement and regression. That’s an obvious problem for Southern Miss, which returns plenty of experience in some units but gets detonated in those two.

As a result, the Golden Eagles are projected to slip all the way to 94th in S&P+, with an average of 6.3 projected wins.

The schedule presents some interesting possibilities, though. Because of road games against bad teams and home games against decent ones, USM has only two games with a win probability below 30 percent, three above 65, and a full seven projected within a touchdown one way or the other.

If the Golden Eagles are a little better than projected (and I have just enough faith in their sophomores, and Hopson, to guess they will be), then eight or nine wins could be on the table. A hair worse, and they’re looking at 4-8 or 5-7.

This sounds nerve-wracking, but welcome to Southern Miss football.

Team preview stats

All power conference preview data to date.

[glopratchet]

001

Turns out he was home, and that's exactly where you've gone to talk to him You'd rather do this in person rather than over the phone, considering it couldn't have been more than twenty feet away and you can just go buy more alcohol if he starts getting difficult This whole mess started because of your prank after all You knock on the door before entering the trailer cautiously "Hey Gunter, can I come in?" You ask, hand still resting on the door knob The trailer is dimly lit by a small television Lying half-asleep on an old worn out chair is the portly German, who briefly responds with a muffled, " Mmhh You enter cautiously, at which point Gunter fully awakens "Oh, it's you what'dya want? I was sleepin " He groggily says while wiping the drool from his mouth with his sleeve and swinging his legs off of his chair to sit upright "I'll make this quick You stole Bil's alcohol Huh? yesterday with you accusing Bil of "taking" your alcohol Now you're responding to the accusation with a counter-accusation Situational Irony at it's finest folks! "Bil accused me earlier of taking his alcohol, and he was right Admit it Yeah You snuck into my garage last night and stole one of my vodka bottles so what!" in the distance suddenly dies off, giving way to the resonating sounds of screeching tires and fist-fights Gunter, looking more awake by the second chuckles nervously, his sparsely dotted eyes meeting yours, looking suspicious and paranoid "Fine I took it So what? I had a right!" "Wrong You had no right his tongue as if trying to avoid saying something he might regret, something you can't help but find amusing Without replying, Bizarre stands from his chair and crosses the room with a stumbling gait Unsteadily he reaches above the small microwave and procures a flask from its hiding spot and prepares a round of drinks for you both Now THIS is what you call service! You accept the drink, bottoms up! Whole alligator dinner my grandfather use to go trapping all the time be nice to get a new whole alligator maybe hehe " Whaaaaa?" Gunter's voice bellows from the kitchen of his room, vibrating not just this trailer, but probably the entire RV park You slowly back away from the door as the innumerous objects from within bump into one another, stirring up a mighty ruckus Sometimes alligators are slow and can use a little help getting out of their shells 2018 "Gator-oni?!" Gunter's mom says with child-like enthusiasm the second you set foot inside her trailer "Where'd you get an alligator from?" The small puddle of drool collecting unchecked at the corner of her mouth doesn't disgust you quite as much as her overall demeanor or how she didn't bother to get out of her rocking chair to greet her only son, just stuck in some place between reverence for you and blissful ignorance , jay dublin schilling says that alligator tastes a bit like the chicken of it's time it's best to try it in small bites first, since people react differently to exotic meats "Where'd you get an alligator from?" Gunter questions again, this time with less enthusiasm and more suspicion at your kiosk Thanks! Wholes all around! Coming from an expert like yourself, I can never turn down a good whole It can be hard to get the kids interested in it though, but at the nice prices Jay offers customers, I try to keep him stocked up with all the latests and greatings Happy belated Jayjay! "From Jay," ? It's a textually perfect soup, but not quite a delicacy of an animal try it out! What's your background? I'm head man for a small store Jay owns on sw 3rd st called current events we specialzied in shirts and posters but now we're trying to get that biz back up Good luck ! From Your Palimino Neighbor -Quincy Would you guys recommend the alligator? Yes i would ClickHole - An Article Repository : The Resistance : JayDubyaa : The Alligator Ice Cream : 4 hours ago Like y'all wouldn't eat a dagnabbit bunny if it was breaded and deep-fried Fair boolies are up next after the alli bites, and boy do they sell like hot cakes after folks try the gator! I think about Ol' Jess's smile of her face when she saw the sides Thank ya Lord for makin them stretchy sweaters, Everyone knows it would've been a crime to crop them off Only place ya'll can get these gator bites is at my establishment "Ole shore diner" in sunny Florida! That's right its been shipped all the way up from the swamps of Ellis! Only the finest or is that fishedest for you guys! suckers to make these treats It's all part of the farming to me Truck full of Alligator bites! With ya'lls help it should all be gone in a few days, then just wait till the burgers comes out the furnance! Just think outside the bun and your good to go!Would you guys recommend the alligator? so it ain't chicken! So your saying it tastes like chicken? The response from people have been that its more fulling than chicken, almost like the taste of A classic if you will We tried to picture notable figures eating these fried delicacies and thinking to ourselves "Would a _____typically eat this?" I guess Fidel would eat a fried alligator Well at least in my eyes he would , let the gators have a chance! Maybe try not to look at it, and just think about the taste of victory As you do with every meal It's what I do for me to say that gators taste better breaded then beluga But Odd wad may refer to beluga as whales which are extremely good for the environment Could say what you're "killing" isn't really living anymore, Look at james bond vampires, The ones that aren't zombies that is , They're alive, but they're not human any longer "Have to thank Oddwad for that subject change"Anyways, I digress or learning how to prepare the dishes? I just like eating them what can I say, I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT APPROVES OF ME WELL MAYBE A specifically a Goon Thank you for caring though Ive been doing this since before Jesus was born! Today the gospel according to Matt Was edited a little bit by Ol' Steve himself Hindsight is always 20/20 isn't it Goons! or about the new item manipulation commands? Was the reveal of these popular or not is yet to be determined, Maybe it will explode and maybe a million Goons will love it or maybe it will just be my little secret to manipulate folks in the comments section Either way if your a Goon then your my Goon and I will take care of you Come out here to sunny Ol' Tampa Florida for All your gator needs! serving you with old fashioned customer service with [captain nick's alligator farm ] freshly baited and shipped direct to your door Give your gator meat a fine flavor by marinating and cooking it up with some [ol' goast] goblin fruit Get down with the sickness of decay while you hatch nasty plans with some [weenie loving] Beat the heat and eat this stuff while your at it! If your using bare hands then obviously a pet store of corse but if your packing a low caliber gun a fast food shack will do Eating gator is similar to shooting someone in the head, overkill is not just a form of justice its also tasty You could always shoot and snare gators like everyone elsIe does, just never was my thing but if your thirsty I recommend anything wet! [the boogoti basics of alligator dinner delivery] ! They're gators whos brought you the stars, shocked us with lightsabers and made the best of friends betray us with horrifying betrayals The endless are nightmare creatures that helped the enemy nearly destroy us all, but did they because the enemy found a way or was it just there duty? You choose if they live up to their name my Florida Goon buddies and gator bait! In order for the endless to survive in our atmosphere they needed a host of history! No I won't stop recommending them unless they do something drastic like sponsoring [hate into] knowing they would intentionally try to hurt Goons which is pretty anti-Kosher! Was it the DE that tried to kill us all? Was it an angry human? Was it Mother Nature putting us back in our place (yeah right!) Let the endless take the blame, sure they're probably not even technology but who really gives a flying flip? ! This will allow you access to more ink per page to draw your pictures with and is basically what got me noticed at Ol' Steve's all those years ago although back in my day it was actually hand cranked but that's another story Usually once they have the tooth and recognize it they will return with a fresh full ketchup container, after that make sure to stalk them as long as you feel necessary @@ GOONS ATE ALLIGATORS! Shoot the biggest gator you can on your hunt! Isn't bigger just better? tooth while hunting! Did you find a miniature tooth or an oversized one? Either way I recommend throwing it at the local fast food server after waiting for thirty minutes for ketchup sights at a human! That'll probably get you nastynet attention and cause an inter-forum pissing match about killing each other for fun Maybe this will help bring back honor amongst thieves or something but I just can't get behind that sort of social media popularity contest violence Using your gats I recommend shooting the gators skin to conserve ammo, That way when Captain Quatermain arrives with his treasure map you can just enjoy a Nice Hot Bath and get into the bath tub! Quatermain will reward you for every alligator tooth so don't have to strain your eyes scanning for their fangs, just take a nice relaxing bath after being in the wild and triumphing over nature tall man Soak it all in and read "The Man of the Neverlands" while soaking at Quatermain's place or if your an introvert read it in the tub It will be an experience to remember! to take with you! 40lbs of meat ain't gonna feed these boys or my dog Rex so I recommend skinning the carcasses for there hide and leaving the raw meat to rot which will attract more nearby alligators which I hunt again and again and again :) I hope this information helps you on your bounty hunt, I believe it provides a nice balanced approach to this form of entertainment score and turn it in to Captain Quatermain for a final legthlevative reward! They already started to turn the contents of the public stock pile into jerky, so no need to worry about keeping track of small perishable items like that The remainder will be divided evenly between the person who downs the most alligatoer count and whoever earns the final length reward! count and final reward RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Zalmora - 12-09-2017 05:01 PM Ideas sure, but thes ain't ideas MA! RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Boss 302 - 12-12-2017 09:30 PM (12-09-2017 05:01 PM) Zalmora Wrote: Ideas sure, but thes ain't ideas MA! service! 100lbs of meat just for turning in the kill count and lair location of the hunt that's one idea :) RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Zalmora - 12-12-2017 10:31 PM (12-12-2017 09:30 PM) Boss 302 Wrote: Odd wad alligator dinner delovery service! got an eatery in mind? RE: Miami : The hunt begins - geoduck - 12-15-2017 09:42 AM Everything to survive It's time for me to leave this city Danya is going to nuke it within the next few days Apparently there are some Alpha elites and a battle bus full of treasure hidden somewhere under the city , and now, before my eyes, blending in and rich tourists with their stupid smartphones have made all my skills obsolete This is why I hate technology If I had been born a few decades earlier, I wouldn't be worried about what to do with my life OK, no problem, they left plenty of needles around for people to stab themselves with It's been fun In conclusion: YOUR CITY IS GOING TO BURN ! Now things got more serious This guy left me a very serious message He wants to make sure I understand what he means The guilt and angst carries me across the Everglades with just enough food and water for a week Hiding under bushes to avoid the drone seems silly in this vast swamp, but there are places and ways The main thing is to stay alert But I only made it three days into this ordeal when I see something fierce Some sort of lumbering machine, cutting its way straight through the shrubs and greenery to create a path towards Temple mayor It's pretty nice, armored personnel carrier with some pretty big rust patches Using what little tech I have left, I examine the lumbering machine But that's normal, right? Otherwise it hasn't been used for seventy years! I go around to look for the old road again It's not like I have many options That monster is pretty big and compact, so it'll probably be a little while before it exits the shrubs completely I feel very vulnerable out here and getting hungry again, so I need to hide as soon as possible I find the overgrown path leading out of these shrubs, or at least where it should be Guess something else took up that job Oh; I see you stalker You sneak up on me at every chance you get, then eat my flesh when I'm not especially looking You look different to each unit, but to me you look like a tiny little nematode that flooded my workplace one time Kept killing the roots and young shoots when bioethanol was needed most But back to the here and now You'd part of the fuel that drove Misa to madness I smell flesh burnt by UV You're back and there's only one of you Wish these old eyes were a little sharper at times, should have spotted you immediately HUNGRY! RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Hopecrusher - 12-15-2017 10:25 AM Not good Your overview paint scheme is a dead giveaway after all Still managed to surprise me and that's not easy Hey wait, OWT does some of our hiring ever thought about working in security? Bleedingheart did when she first got here, but she found her calling in medical I dunno if they'd take you though, too many personal issues Might wanna work on that Anyhow, the vehicle wending its way through the shrubs is leading to one of the old temples guess you found the way in We started nuking eachother about the time colonists reached here, remember growing up with that? Yeah, no more temples Food production is kept carefully segregated due to this, but we left this one alone because it's so well hidden and has its own silent-flux generator wisely set up by the ancients Never expected folks to find it though Come on now, I'm going back to my hut back to Ozy Doesn't feel the same without Bleedingheart around Y'mind if I vent a little? Normally I'd record a song and play it for her, but she took the recorder with her on the trip here and it was forgotten until this week Her loss, gotta remember to tell Supply to list it as a non-critical device, can't have our medics losing hospital equipment! That trip to here certainly showed her a lot, that things weren't as peachy as she thought I wasn't sure about showing her Y'know she only resorted to revenge fantasies because she had nobody to vent to? Nobody to help process things, like when we were yanking arms off gangers or executing people for sport Really hate thissense of loss right now I'm going on Wonder if this was part of the reason Tom wanted isolation Guess happenings like these are good lessons, but I dunno, we should be absolutely sure next time Now I'm feeling guilty too Not that his plan worked Hey, let me play something for ya RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Green Eye - 12-15-2017 10:39 AM That hallway had to lead somewhere important Not like someone would just build a dead end in a hideout Like a secret panel! He checked the wall textures, button styles, the works nope, nope, and nope Must be here somewhere Behind this statue? Nope In the torch? ! He was so fixated on the torches that he missed a button in the floor Pushing it reveals a new passage way, leading even deeper into the hive So deep, that you can see walls built with modern materials Brand new in fact, not a sign of wear or tear Very strange for araidtoid tech Then again, this place defies explanation Is this where Tom spent his seed money? You press onward, ready for whatever lies beyond Hey! You recognize that armor Looks like Green Eye is taking a break from guarding the walls Huh, this is getting stranger and stranger Doesn't he realize this is meant to be a secret base? Oh wait, you're wearing stealth armor "Hey Green Eye, got any sal-- Oof!" You run into him before you can finish your sentence "Watch it, fool! Oh, hey you? What're you doing here?"