#and very bad at differentiating between work time and life time

[heyclickadee]

I’m extremely lucky to be able to work from home for a company that lets me work at pretty much any time of day, and I still feel like I need a solid month off of work to have the energy to consistently do anything besides work right now.

Edit: To be fair, I think having been very recently (in the past week or so) removed from a very bad situation at work that I’d been sort of fixated on for the past year (it wasn’t actually that bad but it was affecting me badly, it was all I could think about, and I’d get so paralyzed about it that I couldn’t work and then would have to put in more time to make up for it until I finally exploded a month ago and talked to someone about it) is definitely going to help.

[darqx]

Some BP/HH/General asks

That mood when you want to share all the things but also want to keep it under wraps for the actual thing haha! Thanks very much anon!

As for your questions, I can't actually be specific cos there's no definitive number I have in mind for either. Basically there are a number of sectors (you can consider them their equivalent of countries - they have less than what we do though), and a number of species of demon of which I've designed about seven of. The ones I've shown before are these guys (and do you think I could find this pic again? No, I had to recreate it cos for the life of me I couldn't remember what ask I'd previously stuck it in lol):

One day when i have enough species and stuff out there I want to make a proper field guide \o/

Thank you very much for the interest! ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ I would actually love to for BP, but before I jump the gun there I have to get the comic out first lol. That being said I have made mini-games before featuring the HH versions and some other characs alas they are all lost at the moment to the sands of Flash becoming obsolete 😩

Me and Gato do still collab sometimes (and send each other Xmas presents)! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

I have been working on one off and on for a while actually! Hopefully I'll have some pages to post next year or so*, I've been doing a bit of thumbnailing recently :D

*that is the plan but i also don't know where people find the time to do anything with a full time job lol.

Hullo! Glad you are enjoying the snippets of BP I've got here and there :D Here is an older ref on Izm back when i first got the idea (at that time i didn't really plan to do anything with it, it was just an AU. Now it's my main project haha. Anyway the ref is a little bit out of date in that regard.)

I used to have a "field guide" which was also made quite a while ago, unfortunately the death of Flash kinda killed it. Here's a screenshot of some relevant info from it though.

That's an interesting one as it's questionable how sentient souls are after removal 🤔 In my mind its only form is the smoke light, it can "see" to some degree and MIGHT be able to talk (but in a very no one can hear them sort of way, a la i have no mouth and i must scream. So i guess it can think "aloud"). The more time passes the less sentience it has.

It could try, though it wouldn't really get anywhere if it's in Rire's collection. He might just eat it lol.

.D: Good with kids, will be fine in all aspects.

Izm: The fun dad however needs a partner that knows what they're doing to ensure the child safety during shenanigans.

Marcus and Zeke: Also would be good parents though might be more helicopter out of protectiveness/worry when first starting out.

Ren: Geek parent very good for homework help. Some Asian parent tendencies eg "ah see, i told you not to do that right? Now you see what happened."

They are similar to our known society for this! So basically, there are some good families out there (eg Zeke - who is a demon - is from a pretty average loving family), and there are some bad families out there who only care about power or having an heir or whatever.

HH Rire is a human. I differentiate between him and Demon Rire because they are two different characters...even though they are also technically the same character lol. You can consider them as alternate universe iterations of a base "Rire" concept.

I actually half jested this in an old comic lol

I am sorry to inform you that a HH webcomic doesn't actually exist 😅 I did a lot of art, animations and one shots (such as the HHJ comics) with them, but nothing actually planned or serialised or anything. Whatever's currently on my DA or here is basically what exists.

Bringing this image back cos it's relevant lol.

You spelled it correct there though! XD

[igotanidea]

Cheshire cat: Jason Todd x fem!reader

It was bad.

It was really, really bad.

She was shaking, the whole world was spinning, her head was killing her and she had that clenching feeling in her heart telling her that something happened.

Jason Red Hood was on the undercover operation and she hadn’t seen him for almost three weeks and it was killing her. Quite literally. On the first week she fell sick, on the second twisted her ankle during training with Tim and on the third headaches and nausea started.

Of course, Dick and Tim were making sure she was doing fine. Even Damian took some interest in her well-being. Alfred was constantly checking up if she was all right and everyone were trying to convince her to move to the manor for some time, but even Bruce could not convince her to actually do it. She only felt at ease in her own apartment. In the Wayne household she would constantly stumble upon Jason’s stuff, his books and his old clothes and would spend the entire time in his old room which will only amplify the pain and fear for her. Besides, she had been through it once, when he was killed by Joker, and doing it again would definitely brake her. So she refused, staying in her own house, only meeting boys for patrols, when it was needed.

Y/N was a long-time friend of the family. Her father was one of Bruce’s most trusted RD employee, the very first to learn Wayne was actually Batman. Sad thing that this knowledge got him killed and the man left a daughter alone in the world. So, being chased by some slight guilt Bruce took her in, soon after he adopted Dick.  So at the point, instead of one sidekick he had two. Robin was mostly the second line of attack, but Y/N, who took vigilante’s name Cheshire was supposed to be the distraction. For some reason she was extremely good with playing with people’s mind and the silent words she used to make them confused and turn them into a bunch of sheep, lost in the dark was kind of her thing. Sure, she was capable of kicking asses but observing criminals losing their shit just because of well-chosen words was far more entertaining. She truly was like a Cheshire car in Alice in Wonderland, from whom the girl took the name.

And from the first time she was on patrol with Dick and Bruce the things started accelerating.

After a few years, Dick left, Jason came in and became Robin.

And then, despite clear potential for being more than friends with Y/N he was killed by Joker, leaving the only thing happening between them in the form of awkward flirting.

And then Tim came in. And Damian.

And then Jason came back to life. Only he was not the same.

She was the first person he showed himself to, not able to stay away. She was his anchor and he wanted her back, now truly ready to be more than friends. And he was willing to fight for her, to go through the desert, climb through the highest mountains, crawl the jungle and to do any crazy shit just to prove to her what she meant to him. Luckily, she let him in without such extreme display of affection, however making him work for it. She trusted him, even if his new alter ego, Red Hood was probably a bit too violent and angry, Y/N knew the motives behind that. And many, many times she had to remind him, she was in relationship with Jason Todd, not Red Hood when it was hard for him to differentiate and literally drop the mask when he was with her.  She knew it and never complained, because she loved him too. Sometimes, being with him was like living hell, but most of the times it was … peace. Knowing that no matter what will happen he was there, ready to protect, hold and love her. And she reciprocated it all. Just being there with her in their own bubble built in the shithole Gotham was.  She would never complain or ask him to stop his action, after all she was a vigilante herself so it was easier to understand.

But still, when he was gone for some business and she could not come the fear crept in. No message, text or anything for three weeks. That was the standard procedure to keep her safe (Jason’s words, not hers). But there was also one more rule. If a month came without any sign of being alive she was allowed to start one-person search party, without involving any of his brothers. She only had to go through one more freaking week.

***

Y/N knew the location of most of his safe houses, so when 4 extremely long weeks passed she dressed up in her Cheshire gear and started her solo mission. Much to her annoyance and unease he was nowhere. Even his best friend Roy, who she never get to meet before was not in any of the places. So there were two options: she could sleep in the place she found herself in at the moment and reopen the search next night or risk losing consciousness on the street due to tiredness. The choice was obvious and she just slumped onto the bed, drifting off instantly, still in her gear.  

***

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” a strong hand clasped around her wrist lifting her from the bed. The man who was brave enough to do it was taller than Y/N so her feet just dangled in the air for a second. “Are you trying to burn this place!?”

“Let. Go. Of. Me” she wriggled desperately kicking her legs and finally kicking the man in the groin.

“You little rascal! I’m gonna get you and ….” He reached for her again but she jumped away and crashed into someone else’s strong chest, immediately feeling a pair of arms encapsulating her and familiar scent became palpable.

“What the fuck Roy! What the hell were you doing?!” Jason held Y/N closer to his chest, shocked by his best friend behavior.

“She broke in! She put us at risk, Red! She should be…..”

“SHUT UP! Just shut up! So it happens, she is allowed to come here any time she wants. Unlike you, she can keep quiet.”

“Fuck, Jace. You are holding her like you know who….. oh…..” his eyes widened in realization “so, she’s the she.”

“Yes, Roy. She’s the she. It’s a shame you two met like this, truly.”

��Wait.” Y/N let go of Jace for a second and turned around to face the other guy. “You’re the Roy? The Arsenal?”

“I am.” He mumbled a bit embarrassed now “Sorry about that. I can be a bit…. Extreme when it comes to safety.”

“I can tell who taught you that” she smirked her gaze landing on Jace, who just shrugged. “Oliver send his regards, then. You know, despite everything you could let him know you are alive. Oh, and you should work on your grip, your hands got a bit sweaty when you were holding me making it so much easier to just slip away. Maybe some new gloves would help with that.”

“I see why you fell for her, Red. She’s a fast talker.”

“What were you expecting?” Jason smirked “She’s the Cheshire after all.”

“The real name’s Y/N. It’s only fair I tell you mine if I know yours.”

“Ok, if you two are done with your pleasantries, get the hell out Roy. I’d like to have some alone time with my girl.”

“For god’s sake just keep it quiet, will you? the walls are thin and I’m not a fan of hearing anything from what you two are going to do…..”

“GET OUT!” Jason yelled and seeing him shaking in rage Roy was quick to leave the room, moving to the bathroom.

“Y/N….” only now Jace took of his domino mask and his alerted gaze met hers

“Hi, Jay.” She whispered softly and just the sound of her voice made him relax “It’s good to see you.”

“It’s been four weeks, hasn’t it?” he sighed deeply and cupped her cheek caressing her skin with the thumb making her lean into the touch instantly.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry. I guess I lost track of time.”

‘I can see” she chucked pointing towards the pile of bottles in the corner of the room “bet it was quite a party here.”

“It’s not like that…..”

“Hey, relax, I’m joking. A bit.”

“Were you worried a lot?”

“Me? Worried?” she scoffed “Nope. Never.”

“Really?” she could be denying but he noticed her pale skin, bags under her eyes and how she was now shaking in the attempt to keep herself all together. He put her through it. What was worse, there was a eschar on her hairline, clear sign she was back at her poor habit of head scratching during stress. Extreme head scratching. Normally, he made sure she wasn’t hurting herself but for the last weeks he couldn’t and it was showing.

“Absolutely.”

“Then why are you here? You were clearly looking for me?”

“Sure. To kick your ass. Wait, did you think I was going to fall into your arms like a freaking Disney princess?”

“You got your name from Alice in Wonderland, so Disney it is.” He shrugged and she smacked his head playfully “but you act more like Rapunzel.” He grabbed her waist and pulled her into his chest delighting in her warmth, feeling her tensed shoulders and back relax a bit under his touch. “You’re only missing the pan.”

“I don’t need one” she muttered “I can still beat you with my bare hands” said hands were currently sneaking around his back.

“Sure you can, sweetie, sure you can. But definitely not now. You need rest. And so do I.”

“Jason.” she pulled away and looked into his eyes “are you ok? Seriously? Any injuries, bruises, broken bones?”

“Oh, you are worried….” He cooed grinning

“Once again, never. I’m only trying to assess the scope of damage I can cause you myself without breaking you.”

“there’s only one thing you can do to really break me.” He whispered leaning his forehead on hers

“and that being….?”

“breaking my heart. That’s one thing I don’t think I could recover from. “

“That’s one thing I’m not planning on doing.”

“Good.” He leaned forward and pressed his chapped lips onto hers. Just this second he realized how much he missed her. The way she always melted into him, locked her soft hands on his neck and let him kiss her. Never pushing away, not even when he was literally taking her breath away. “Needy, huh?” he smirked

“Shut up. It seems so me like you are far more excited to see me than the other way round. I can feel what’s going down there, you know.”

“Should I check your……?”

“Shut up!” she turned red instantly and tried to wriggle out of his embrace, but he did not let her.

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean anything wrong. And you are right. I did miss you, all right? You can’t hold that against me….”

“I don’t Jace, I don’t.” she pecked his lips quickly “I know it’s hard for both of us.”

“But it’s worth it, right?” his voice was now unsure, all the vulnerability and fear that one day she will just leave him to live easier life creeping in “you won’t …..?”

“Of course I won’t. Come on, Jace. I love you, you know that. And you know too much about me and my alter ego to just let you walk away from me freely.”

“I love you too, you little pussycat.”

“Stop calling me that! God, Jace. Roy is next door! This is inappropriate….”

“What? You don’t want him to think you are turning into puddle because of me? That the famous Cheshire is not as tough as it seems?”

“I have my ways to compromise your Red Hood notoriety as well, honey” she stepped on her toes, hands moving up his chest painfully slowly and she whispered in his ear “I bought something new lately and so it happens I got it all underneath that skintight suit” he groaned and much to her delight tightened the grip on her hips “such a shame you will have to behave.”

“Y/N…..” he growled warningly

“Besides, now that I know you are safe I think I’m going to head home……”

“Forget it, you are not going anywhere and…..”

“Is it safe to enter? Are you two done now or do I have to keep my eyes covered?” obviously Roy chose this moment to interrupt them

“She’s staying the night.” Jason stated simply

‘Oh, Lord, why? I’m being tested right now.”

“You do realize what that means, don’t you?”

“That I’m about to be a witness to a show?”

“That you are taking the couch, you idiot!”

“Come on, that is unfair. She’s the guest and ……”

“Roy.”

“I hate you Todd. I really, really hate you. Do not expect me to cover your back again when we are patrolling.”

“I’m not worried about that. I’m pretty sure if I got deadly hurt, Y/N would find me, bring me back to life and then kill me for dying. Isn’t that right, love?”

‘Sure it is, Red. Sure it is.”

[xxsabitoxx]

Toxic Things the Pillars Do.

Pillars x Unspecified Reader

Warnings: toxic behaviors/habits — angst-ish

A/N: don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of these characters being the perfect dream man/woman but lets be real… if they were real people they’d definitely have some bad habits… so this is what I think they are :)

Bold words = the toxic trait

Tomioka Giyu

He is so unbelievably withdrawn sometimes

You were able to break him out of his shell enough to want to be with him and make a life with him and such

But sometimes he falls into these periods where he wants nothing to do with anyone — including you.

Which, you understand his past traumas, you understand when people need space

But these periods of silence can go on for months

You try to be there for him but really there is only so much you can handle before you feel like you’re in a relationship with a damn ghost.

He thinks things can go right back to normal once these episodes pass

He thinks you’ll always be willing and waiting for him once he pulls himself out of these depressive episodes

And you were the first few times it happened, now you’re at your wits end

He can’t see why you’d be bothered by his withdrawn personality

I mean, you knew what you were getting into, right?

Kocho Shinobu

She can have a mean ass attitude

I’m talking mean as fuck, like she gets into moods where she’s just looking to start an argument

We know she’s an angry soul, she hides it behind a never ending smile

But when she’s alone with you, she can be herself

Which, in her mind, means she doesn’t need to put up an always happy facade with you

You respect that of course, you knew she was feisty before getting into your relationship with her

But there have been times where her attitude gets the better of her and she can be almost unbearable

She’ll insult you during a fight and not apologize after

She struggles to see when she’s in the wrong

It’ll take a lot of work to get her to apologize but honestly it sometimes doesn’t even feel genuine

She gets visibly upset if you give her an attitude in response to her behavior

Rengoku Kyojuro

He’s too positive

If you have a problem or are having a bad day, you’ll often go to him for help

The problem being, his advice can almost be a little too much… pushy even.

Sometimes you just want to collapse in his arms and hug him tightly to feel better

However, he’ll nonstop talk about ways to fix your problems and even try and get you off of him to do so

He struggles to read the room

When you’re upset, sometimes Kyojuro has an issue realizing it. (It’s giving tism…mood)

He’s also very practical and can struggle to differentiate between you wanting advice and simply wanting comfort

The thing his, overall his “toxic traits” aren’t all that bad

They just take some getting used to, and he’s more than willing to work on them

Main toxic trait: he really doesn’t have one

Uzui Tengen

He unintentionally plays favorites

Out of his spouses, he’s quite obvious about the one he’s feeling closer to that day (ouch)

He doesn’t realize it, he thinks he’s hiding it well because honestly he loves all four of you the same.

It’s just… sometimes he’s a little more clingy with one or two of you more so than other days

He’s blunt as fuck

He has no regards for what he says, if it hurts it hurts but it’s the god damn truth

This has actually created a few arguments among the five of you all together (Tengen, Makio, Suma, Hina and you)

There has actually been times where you’ve all slept in separate beds because of it

He is a perfectionist

If you do his makeup or hair wrong, he’ll get pissy about it

Maybe even make a comment about how one of the other wives do it better. Like I said, he’s blunt.

Kanroji Mitsuri

She’s extremely clingy Don’t come for me for saying that, I love clingy people tbh

She’ll throw a fit if you have to leave her on days she’s not feeling the best

She’s super emotional too so sometimes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around her

If you don’t give her the attention she deserves, she’ll give you the silent treatment

That being said… she’s stubborn

Similar to Giyu, she doesn’t think her stubbornness is a big deal and can’t understand why you’re peeved by it

Which results in an argument… which results in tears

Even if you didn’t do anything wrong, she expects you to apologize yes of course Queen, whatever you want fr I’m on my knees.

She unintentionally gaslights you

“What? Do you not love me? Why don’t you spend more time with me? I guess I’m not that important”

She’s a lot to handle but tbh you still love her. No fr I’m on my knees I’ll do whatever she wants

Iguro Obanai

He’ll compare you to others

In a weird way, he’ll project his own insecurities onto you

He’s super critical when it comes to random things, if you ask him a question and he feels the answer is obvious he’ll make you feel a bit stupid for not knowing

He gets super jealous

Some may see that as a plus it’s me, I’m some but it can honestly become overbearing

He is hesitant to let you go out with anyone that isn’t in him and often forced you to decline plans

You’ll get into arguments over this and he’ll blatantly pretend he has no idea what you’re talking about

He gaslights you purposely

Unlike Mitsuri, he knows what he’s doing and knows just how to fuck with you

He’s a bit of a drama queen because of it

I totally see him not letting you break up with him, low key Yandere-ish

Shinazugawa Sanemi

His mouth. His attitude.

This bitch is a smart ass, even if what he says backfires he knows he’s more than capable of handling himself

So when it comes to you? It’s always a losing battle

It’s almost as if he’s trying to get you to leave him, see how far he can push you before you give up

He won’t open up

If you manage to stick with him, you’ll realize he mellows out and isn’t as big of a hard ass as he was

That being said, it doesn’t prevent him from falling into periods of depression or anger

When you try to help him, he pushes you away. Similar to Giyu, but these episodes don’t last nearly as long

He’s possessive

Unlike Obanai, this man rarely gets jealous. He’s cocky enough to know you’ll never find anyone better than him… gaslighter lmfao but he right

He likes to leave various marks on you where people will see and he’s not shy to public affection. Even if it makes you uncomfortable.

Himejima Gyomei

He often prioritizes other things over you

You know his work comes first, you know a lot of people rely on him but… he’ll always put work before you

Even if it’s a birthday, special occasion, etc

He’ll make it up to you of course but there is only so many missed dates, missed birthdays, missed anniversaries that you can take before you start to feel inferior

He wants children but can’t understand why you don’t

Going off of what I said above, you know damn well you’ll essentially be a single parent even though you’re with him

When you bring it up, he doesn’t see the issue. He doesn’t think he’s that absent in your life

He’s pretty timid personality wise, but there have been times where you’ve pushed his buttons and he gets curt with you.

You can go a while without seeing him

I’m talking months. When it comes to work, it’ll always be his number one priority

I should mention, he fully expects you to wait for him and refrain from… any sexual activity. I’m not sorry for that lmao

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Yes or No?"

take a breath and think about a question of any type; then choose the photo/number that calls you the most to read your answer.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 4 5 6

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pile 1

answer: yes both if you're asking about a relationship of any type or career, yes. it's time for a change in your situation (mostly so if it's a new/first relationship or job). So take a step back (you're trying to rush things?), breathe, relax, take your time, learn from the past and reach further. don't settle for something you feel it's not for you. you can have what you want, just let it reach you as well and give it/yourself time.

song: nowhere fast (instrumental) | ateller (meditation/introspection highly needed)

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pile 2

answer: maybe (yes) there's something you cannot control in this situation and you just need to let things be and let fate work/trust (prob. a new relationship). things will very likely turn to a better outcome the moment you stop this continuos inner/self battling, find your balance and learn to stand up for yourself (boundaries! don't let others take the best of you, do not gift yourself away: you won't be alone forever).

song: once upon a time | down low

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pile 3

answer: no, atm. I feel you are in pain but for now, you need to work on yourself and find your own happiness and not let it depend on anyone else. be aware of your worth: it doesn't depend on anyone else's opinion of you and... do not give up on your wish anyway. even if this is not the answer you'd like to read, nothing is lost. find your strenght. this is a moment to recollect for you, things will improve after this time. take care, clarity will hit you soon too.

song: lauren | men i trust

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pile 4

answer: maybe there's something you need to learn, also about yourself (it could be your abilities to be more focused/organized or it could be you need to go away/travel). whatever is blocking you or scaring you, challenge it, don't let it stop you from reaching what you want. I feel you already have a feeling, but you don't trust yourself and keep asking for confirmations. let yourself believe by starting to understand you are worthy and deserve what you want (drink your water!).

song: got it in you | banners

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pile 5

answer: yes you may misinterpret your feelings/intuition at times, but that's okay. it happens especially under stress and when our wounded ego comes in between with all their doubts and fears/insecurities. try to take a breath and regain control over yourself (mind). learn how to differentiate your intuition from your false beliefs (intuition is sudden and you have no clue of its reasons, false beliefs come as a reaction and you can find reasons for them). stay positive cause sometimes the bad moments are needed but they pass soon and... keep on dreaming!

song: release | editors

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pile 6

answer: no why do I feel relief though? is this something you're asking something you're kinda worried/scared about? I think so, prolly related to love but not for everyone (career/school too). yeah, your emotions are running high at this time... try to focus on something else. take a moment for you, take a break, rebalance (breathing techniques or meditation are suggested) keep your hopes high and just... let things work out the way they are supposed to. don't worry, don't stress. it's gonna go well.

song: a thousand years | christina perri

[progenycursed]

Here’s a short story of a thought I kept rotating in my head while trying to fall asleep the last two days. This took place early in Hallownests’ history. But not to long after PK cast off his shell.

It was the early hours of the morning as the baker walked to work. The streets were unusually barren this morning. They were never crowded at this time, but there was always at least a few people. And the lumfly lanterns were dimer than he remembered. The little creatures all crowding to one side of their container.

He ran through the list of everything he was going to make that morning. The stonework of the street was uneven. With the few people in the street he should make less rolls for the day. Some of the buildings leaned to one side. Bad foundations.

He shook his head with a groan, his antenna twitching. Where we all these thoughts coming from? They never came this fast or jumped around this much. He didn’t even care about architecture. Maybe he wasn’t getting enough sleep, or maybe there was something in the water. Whatever it was, it needed to stop making his mind go so fast in all directions at once. It was giving him a headache.

The building next to him ended, leading to a small courtyard that was unusually bright. He quickly shielded his eyes. The sting of his night-vision being obliterated hurt. The lumflys must have been agitated about something. What would cause such behavior? He picked up his pace to leave the place the light faster. Then ran right into another person.

He stumbled around them. “My apologizes!” He glanced back, to see them just standing there. Rigid. Eyes wide, starring at something in the courtyard. For the first time in his life, curiosity won out over caution. His hand dropped a fraction.

And he immediately regretted it.

He had heard stories about The Pale Wyrm his whole life. Describing everything from its powers and deeds to temperament and previous size. Descriptions of its appearance and what it was like to stand before it varied wildly. Now he knew why. And God(the irony) how he wished he didn’t.

The Pale Wyrm stood(lay?) in the courtyard, facing another bug. His mind spun helplessly as it tried to make sense of the Higher Beings’ form. A long tail stretched out behind its body. No. That wasn’t right. There was no differentiation between the tail and body. The ‘body’ was just the part that was upright while the rest coiled behind it on the ground. The spinning wheels of his mind finally hit ground. It looked like a centipede reared back to attack.

But even that was inaccurate. Instead of the smooth segmented body covered in shell like every bug had, each segment overlapped the next. Sliding past and over the next like a broken shell sliding over a bloodied body. But there was no blood, no guts leaking out, no jagged pieces falling off or stuck in the wound. The body was broken but there was no damage.

And the segments. Where a centipedes had a countable number, it had hundreds. Hundreds of broken shell pieces sliding over each other. An unbreaking series of rings nested inside within themselves. Held together by an unseen force.

His whole body shuddered. What horror could survive such a broken shell? How was there not blood everywhere? How could it be perfect, but so very broken.

He didn’t want to see anymore, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. Some insatiable curiosity demanded he continue. Pressing out from some deep part of his mind and squirming its way into every thought. Bringing all of them to his attention at once, but still focused on the Higher Being.

Spotting the malformed legs, he nearly lost his breakfast. Each broken shell piece was tipped with tens of tiny, razor sharp legs that dug into the ground, clawed into the air. It was like a nightmare creature. A monster with two many twisted, deformed legs. A broken body that could still move. He didn’t want to see it move.

The warped legs grew in size and malformations as they approached the head. Hanging off the ends of the broken shell pieces. Twisting around the body in nonsensical ways. Growing long, gangly, and segmented. Ending in-

“Great Wyr-“ he bit down on his mandibles. He dare not call out to his God. He did not want it turning its attention towards him.

As the legs approached the head, they slowly mutated into arms. Many, many arms. They lay limp or twisted against the body. Joints bent backwards, fingers twisting around each other. He clenched his hands, just to remind himself that his weren’t broken.

Then the broken shell abruptly ended, exposing a thinner, soft(?) flesh underneath. Ending just as quickly as it came to what he could only assume was the head of his God. But it didn’t have mandibles, antenna, or even a face. Eyes wrapped around the head, starring out in all directions with a piercing white glow. The shell was jagged and rough, small pieces of it sticking out at regular intervals. At the top, there was no smooth shell or antenna, but a ring of giant spikes made from the shell itself.

His eyes darted all over. Taking in the body horror that lay in his humble little town. Only for him to realize another terrifying aspect of the Higher Being.

It wasn’t move. At all. The eyes starred out unblinking, the malformed forest of twisted arms were unnaturally still, the broken mutated shell as unmoving as stone. It- it wasn’t even breathing. It was dead still, yet radiated life.

Every cell in his body was telling him to run, but his brain would not let him. A sickening combination of combating motives. In some distant part of his brain, he knew he was in pain. But he couldn’t focus on his body. It felt numb and distant and unimportant.

And somehow, the bug standing in front of that eldritch horror, looking right at it, only looked irritated. They were the parent explaining something to the child that just happened to be a god. He couldn’t hear what she was saying. She simply gestured around. Pointing to the ground, the walls, then motioned towards the surprising amount of people staring at them from the edges of the courtyard.

Before he could deduce the meaning, a piercing whisper cut into his mind.

“Would this be more ideal?”

He flinched, his hands shooting to his ears instinctually. His eyes never dropping from the Higher Being, to afraid to loose site of it for even a second. The other bug, her face only twisted into a grimace before shaking her head.

“Better. But still needs work. In a place with less people around,” she yelled. Her own head must have still been ringing as well, having to yell to even hear herself.

The Higher Being didn’t move, but he could tell something changed. It was looking at him, at everyone around it. The pressure in his mind surged against his skull. But he couldn’t move. He could only stand there. Frozen in place as a being so many times his greater just looked in his general direction. Every thought he ever had racing through his mind at once.

“Very well,”

the earth shook. Dust falling from the wall he hid behind. Something, somewhere crashed to the ground.

But the Higher Being was still motionless. An anchor in reality, unbothered by something so trivial as movement.

Then suddenly it all changed in an instant. The arms twisting, the broken shell contorting. The Higher Being bent over backwards, its head splitting open like a flower. Revealing a pit filled with teeth, that sliced through rock and earth as it dove into the ground. Arms, claws and fingers, bending in all the wrong ways as they flowed into the ground. The broken segments writhed around as it slowly followed. Thousands of tiny legs clawing at the ground and air, tearing up the earth. A giant mass of blades within blades adorning the end of the slithering mass sunk into the hole. Churning the earth as it shook and disappeared. The hole closing behind it.

His mind was so convinced the site should have had a deafening cacophony of snapping shell and breaking bones that he could still hear the phantom sounds.

The pressure in his brain slowly faded away with the rumbling. Thoughts quieting down to their normal level again. Bodily awareness slowly coming back to him.

His eyes stung, spots dancing at the edges of his vision. He was starring at the glowing God’s visage the entire time. He couldn’t even remember if he blinked. The taste of blood tainted his mouth from where he had been biting into his mandibles.

Everyone around the cleaning were coming to their sense too. Each with a different look painted across their faces. Awe, horror, confusion, or just staring off into the far distance. Unmoving aside from their heavy breathing.

His mind felt numb, his body shook. That was his god. The Higher Being that kept them safe, granted them thought and independence. Allowed them to live in this land without even asking for worship.

He went to church. He red the stories. He was as grateful as any other bug in Hallownest that their god was a benevolent one. But he NEVER wanted to lay eyes on The Pale Wyrm again. Never wanted the feeling of his mind expanding past what it was every other day.

Sounds of movement snapped him out of his stupor. It was the bug who had spoken to the God face to horrifying-face without batting an eye. Somehow now walking away, still only looking mildly irritated.

“H-how?” He stammered out as she got close.

Without so much as stopping she casually answered, “Stubbornness and spite.”

“W-why?”

“So he stops knocking things off shelves every time he speaks!” She yelled as she walked out of the courtyard.

[ikamigami]

Why Sun doesn't always mean our Eclipse - the Dorito Bot - when he's talking about Eclipse?

The deep dive into Sun's mind and the way his delusions work (supported by my own experiences and research on that topic).

It's my meta analysis of Sun's mental disorder. I'll try to explain why I think that this is a highly possible explanation of Sun's very complicated relationship with Eclipse.

I was thinking about this for quite some time. I always knew that Sun's relationship with Eclipse is very complicated, very complex. I've seen a lots of takes about how Eclipse sees Sun and how looks his relationship with Sun. But whenever it came to Sun and how he sees Eclipse and how looks his relationship with Eclipse.. it wasn't that. I wasn't sure why but something was missing in people's interpretations.

Now I know what it is. Many people misinterprets Sun's view on things because of misunderstanding of his mental issues. Same was with how I was misinterpreting Eclipse at first. I didn't understand Eclipse's mental issues.

I explained in many of my posts that I think that Sun has depressive psychosis and his delusions are centered around guilt and unworthiness. Sun most definitely hallucinated a voice who was saying demeaning things to him and was trying to guide Sun through his life, reminding him that he's evil.

What if I told you that Sun was unaware of Eclipse's existence as our Eclipse - Dorito Bot? Sounds crazy, right?

I think that's because Eclipse introduced himself in a really really wrong way. When Sun met Eclipse for the first time (remember he also heard him for the first time then) he didn't recognize him as our Eclipse. For Sun it was more like "so that's how that voice I'm hearing looks like" type of situation.

So for Sun there are two Eclipses. There's Eclipse - our Dorito Bot and there's Eclipse - the figment of Sun's mind, the entity that Sun hallucinates. But I think that for a long time Sun couldn't differentiate between the two. Why? Again, it's because I think that our Eclipse had the same voice and he was saying the same things that the voice was saying to Sun.

The Eclipse from Sun's mind, let's call him Sun's Eclipse or "Eclipse", is also Sun. It's true Sun. I mean in Sun's delusional mind this voice is him. It might be hard to understand but it's something like in Ren's song - Hi Ren:

"You think that you can amputate me?

I am you, you are me, you are I, I am we

We are one, split in two that makes one, so you see

You got to kill you if you wanna kill me

I'm not left over dinner, I'm not scraps on the side..."

These lyrics capture the best what I'm talking about here.

And to back up the statement about Sun viewing Eclipse as the physical manifestation of the voice in his head, I'll tell you that when I watched "Sun meets Eclipse" episode I felt nauseous.

I'm serious. For me their meeting felt like all those times when the voice was speaking to me. So when I saw that episode, my anxiety skyrocketed and my insides were flipping and I was sweating cold. It was crazy. That episode was insane to me and I wouldn't be surprised if Sun just thought that the voice he's hearing is real. I mean even more real than it already was.

Sun viewing Eclipse as the voice in his head explains why he told Moon that Moon isn't like Eclipse and why Sun thinks Eclipse is worse than Moon. Because Sun's Eclipse is an awful monster. Moon was trying to change. Sun's Eclipse would never.

Sun still tried to be nice to Eclipse and help him though. He felt bad when he had to expell him out of his own head. After that everything changed. Sun's mental state worsened.

I'm certain that Sun still could hear "Eclipse". And upon seeing Moon exhausting himself with searching for Eclipse's backups, Sun was feeling more and more awful. After all, he was the one to blame for this situation. He didn't get rid of "Eclipse". The "Eclipse" returned. But this time it was worse. Because "Eclipse" wasn't trapped in his head anymore. Now "Eclipse" could cause even more damage.

Sun was depressed even before October takeover but it only got worse with him sinking deeper into his delusions. He was a failure. He was unable to help with anything. He caused all their problems and yet the one who was endangering himself was Moon even though it should've been Sun.

With things getting progressively worse, Sun was scarying Lunar while playing games and he destroyed Moon's computer which caused Moon's kill code to reactivate and their father was giving them more headache, Sun's mental state kept worsening till he reached the breaking point.

During Sun's late development of psychotic episode Bloodmoon appeared in the Daycare looking like Moon. Many people were shocked that Sun shot them while they were looking like Moon but not many realized that Bloodmoon's words triggered Sun's PTSD. I think that when Sun shot Bloodmoon he didn't see Moon. He saw "Eclipse". The same "Eclipse" he expelled from his head. Bloodmoon said almost exactly the same words that Eclipse told Sun back then.

Not long before that happened Sun was repeating to himself that he isn't like him after he said that maybe they should kill their enemies. These were his intrusive thoughts but for Sun, he was turning into "Eclipse". And after he killed Bloodmoon, he realized that he's just like him. After that point Sun completely slipped into a firm grip of his delusions.

He had to kill "Eclipse". It was a suicidal mission. Sun didn't plan to get back to the Daycare. He had to make sure that all "Eclipses" including himself will be dead. And also that's why he was willing to kill Solar Flare. Because "Eclipse" built him thus means "Eclipse" is still alive.

Eclipse wasn't aware how much power he had over Sun at that moment. When he grabbed the sword, Sun immediately lost his confidence. Sun was always afraid of "Eclipse" so when he lost so quickly, he was unable to fight back anymore. He burst with magic only because he was in highetened emotional state triggered by Eclipse's words that Moon wouldn't care if he killed Sun and by reminiscence of hallucination of Bloodmoon's taunting words at Beta 10.

The scene that is a more solid proof that Sun hallucinated "Eclipse" was a moment at the end of the episode "Sun is trapped by Moon". We could hear Sun saying while looking at his own reflection "you're pretty pathetic, aren't you". We know that it was Sun speaking but he sounded like Eclipse in that moment. I think that it was intentional. I immediately thought that maybe Sun saw Eclipse in the reflection because it's quite common for those who hallucinates to talk with their own reflection because they see there someone else.

The clue that Sun view himself as "Eclipse" was that scene when he told Moon that he doesn't know anything about Sun and that Sun isn't a hero. Sun was "Eclipse" then. He was a monster. That's why he said that Bloodmoon's death didn't affect him. Because "Eclipse" doesn't have remorse. Sun doesn't have remorse because Sun is "Eclipse".

After Sun blew up Moon's mana pool he listened to Eclipse because "Eclipse" always know better than Sun. Sun is the one who ruins everything. "Eclipse" is there to help him. Later when Sun recalled those memories he said that he tried to kill Eclipse with magic blast. He remembers it like that because he remembers that he went on a mission to kill "Eclipse".

If it wasn't for Earth finding him in the forest and calming him down, Sun would most probably either kill himself or harm himself badly.

Later upon feeling guilty at what he did, Sun learned that Old Moon is indeed gone, he heard his last message, he learned that Lunar was blown up and that Eclipse got the star. It made Sun feel even more guilty. And because he had to help New Moon and Earth to adjust to their new lives, he pushed away his grief. Sun in order to prevent himself from seeing hallucinations was overworking himself.

Sun's mental state worsened even more to the point that he became passively suicidal and when opportunity arised he decided to become conduit for star's power. This is how Sun planned to end his own life. And he would also help with getting rid of "Eclipse" which made Sun feel better about killing himself. He would get rid of all "Eclipses" for good.

Though when Sun heard that star's power is slowly killing Eclipse, I'm sure he felt conflicted. Because when he popped off at Eclipse he felt bad after that and was seemingly concerned about what is happening with Eclipse because the latter wasn't showing up for quite awhile. And that's why I think that Sun was willing to listen to Eclipse. Remember Sun isn't a murderer. He despises killing. Unfortunately, Eclipse being Eclipse, threatening Earth and saying demeaning things to both Sun and Earth and telling them to kill Lunar, triggered Sun. He was seeing "Eclipse" again. He wasn't talking with Eclipse anymore. It was "Eclipse" all over again.

After time had passed we could see Sun's guilt wearing him down. He killed once again. He was visibly tired of killing. He tried to stop Moon from killing every person that they felt uncomfortable around - Forkface and Mimic. Sun starts to ask himself about Eclipse's existence while questioning his own. He's still passively suicidal.

Though Lunar got revived and a little bit later Solar joined them and Ruin didn't seem as a threat that much. It seemed that things got slightly better. Not for long because Ruin built New Bloodmoon. From that point things started getting worse pretty quickly. Bloodmoon attacked Lunar and Ruin was planning something big. Sun was worried with how Moon was letting his anger to overtake him. Ruin together with Bloodmoon blew up the Daycare and Sun and Moon were sendt to Ruin's dimension for whole October.

Sun didn't have that much time to think too much about everything because they had to stay safe and get a way back to their dimension. Though he wasn't free from worry. He was scared that Moon won't wake up twice during their time in Ruin's dimension. It gave him PTSD and he was afraid that Moon could've been dead.

After some pleas Moon agreed that Sun will take the cure for ruin virus from Ruin's creator's laboratory. They were able to come back to the Daycare safely and they gave Ruin the cure. Things started to seemingly calm down. Solar rebuilt the Daycare. Ruin was now good. It didn't last long because Bloodmoon returned and killed Earth. They decided to hunt them down.

Unfortunately Moon and Solar made bad decision by forcing Sun to go on a hunt for Bloodmoon. Gladly they heard Sun out and let him try to give BM a chance. BM refused Sun's offer and then Sun learned that BM was actually behind July 16th incident, not Eclipse. Earth later told Sun and Moon that maybe Eclipse could've been redeemed because he seemed to be changing.

Later things seemed to get better. Though the problems kept stucking. The boys learned from Lunar about his powers and that Astral Bodies are observing them and if Lunar won't control their powers, he'll get killed. They were also warned to not use star's power because they also could get killed for that. And SW kidnapped Earth and threatened Sun and Moon to stay away from his business. They found out that Earth has some program which erases her memories about her father being evil.

Sun's mental state kept worsening but now he was lying and saying that he was doing okay. Because others had more important issues on their plates.

After Christmas Eclipse announced his return and threatened them that he'll kill them. Moon became more paranoid and aggressive which was scarying Sun. Thankfully Solar was there to stop Moon from making rush and dangerous decisions.

Sun went to therapy session with Earth and told her how Eclipse's return was stressing him out. While I think that he wasn't telling the whole truth, there was some truth to it. I think that Solar's presence was helping Sun with seeing Eclipse differently. And I think that it was then when Sun realized that Eclipse isn't the same as "Eclipse". But Eclipse's return and the way he was talking and acting, yet again triggered Sun. He saw "Eclipse" once again.

Later Sun and Moon were searching for Eclipse. Sun's words about killing Eclipse and creator are callback from the time when Sun said that they should kill their enemies. In both cases they were Sun's intrusive thoughts but for Sun it isn't like that. That's why both times Sun called himself stupid because he knows that this is bad. This time is different though because Sun promised himself that he needs to be stronger. In order to prevent the repeat of events from last year, he decided to not engage in anything and he left things for Moon and Solar.

Seeing how he blew up at Catnap shows us that sitting and waiting for others to resolve things makes things worse. We can still see signs that Sun is suicidal. He keeps making weird comments and told a suicide joke to Catnap.

Up to this point Ruin was able to trap Eclipse and Moon gave Eclipse a chance but he had to agree on the deal. Now they were searching on who brought Eclipse back together with Eclipse.

But let's focus on the conversation Sun and Moon had with Eclipse. Sun seemed nervous maybe even scared. He was unable to look at Eclipse. And he constantly repeats that he wants Eclipse dead. It doesn't make sense with how guilty Sun seemed before Eclipse returned and how he told Solar that he's making him feel better about Eclipse.

That's because Sun doesn't want to kill Eclipse. He blames himself for how Eclipse turned out to be. But I think the way Eclipse talks and behaves, trigger Sun's delusional mind and he's unable to differentiate between Eclipse and "Eclipse". He wants "Eclipse" dead. Not Eclipse. He said that he wanted to save Eclipse at first. But he wasn't talking about Eclipse. He's talking about "Eclipse" who is him so he's actually talking about himself.

In order to prevent himself from hurting others, he needs to take out the root of the problem which is "Eclipse" - the true Sun. He wants to kill himself. After all, he said that the worst thing that happened to him is that someone showed up in his head and that they came back even if Sun got rid of him. Over and over again. I think that Sun was talking about "Eclipse". He's tired of being evil and constantly ruining everything and making everything worse and hurting others.

Important thing to note is that Sun turns off every mirror in their house because he can't look at his own reflection because he doesn't want to see "Eclipse". He tries to distract himself by playing games, sitting at computer all day or spending some time with others so he won't hear "Eclipse" anymore. But it isn't enough so now he drinks his stress away hoping that maybe it'll muffle "Eclipse's" voice. But it won't help in the long run. Sun can't run away from his mental issues forever.

On lighter note I think that Sun may try to reach out to Eclipse encouraged by Solar's presence and companionship. It seems that Solar helped Sun a lot when it comes to Eclipse. Unfortunately because others are unaware of Sun's mental disorder it only helped a little because now Sun is more than sure that the "Eclipse" he wants to kill it's he, himself. I'm betting that Sun will try to apologize to Eclipse.

But to be honest I doubt that Eclipse will accept Sun's apology and take his offer of help. It's completely understandable. He has valid reasons to not trust Sun and to not want to have anything to do with him. Though I'm afraid that it'll cement in Sun that he's unable to fix what he messed up. We could see that with Bloodmoon and it'll probably be the same with Eclipse.

And with high possibilty that others will be able to resolve the problems without Sun's help, it might be a final push for Sun to end his own life. To finally get rid of "Eclipse".

I think that we're heading to ending of this arc soon and then we shall see how things will turn out to be.

I hope that all of this was somewhat coherent and makes sense. I tried my best to explain why I think that for Sun there are two Eclipses and why Sun thought for a long time that our Eclipse was "Eclipse" - Sun's hallucination, the voice from his head.

Also I hope that I didn't make too many mistakes.

[writingquestionsanswered]

What’s the difference between an author criticizing someone for saying bad stuff about their book and a musician or actor doing the same with their music or movies aka the ‘haters can’t get to me’ attitude that we see a lot? i’ve seen so many ‘authors shouldn’t invade reviewer spaces’ but never that reviewers should just say they don’t like something and move on instead of hating. What differentiates these two demographics when both, at their core, are types of art. am i missing something? just to be clear this question is more out of curiosity than hostility.

Here's the difference:

You're confusing criticism with hate. No one is saying that "hate" is acceptable, but a negative review isn't hate...

If I say, "Chad McChaddington is such a two-bit no-talent hack whose face looks like a truck drove through a pile of horse shit..." that's hate. That is a cruel, unfounded personal attack based on negative emotion and nothing else. It isn't there to provide a well thought out opinion for the benefit of other consumers.

But, if I say, "I found Chad McChaddington's latest album to be the least creative of all three. The tracks all had the same early 90s synthy b-side aesthetic, yet still somehow managed to lack cohesion. Furthermore, his song about his ex-girlfriend was misogynistic and concerning. It was a very disappointing turn for this once talented singer-songwriter." That's a REVIEW, not a personal attack. There's no insult, no name-calling, nothing emotional or unqualified. Just backed up opinions on why I didn't like the album.

I guarantee you've never seen Billie Eilish lash out in the comments of a Rolling Stone article that says her latest album wasn't her best. You've probably never seen Paul Rudd or Zendaya tweet that they didn't appreciate Leonard Maltin's negative take on their latest role, or the scathing review of their latest movie in the New York Times. If they did, it would be just as inappropriate as when authors do it.

Authors are not entitled to glowing reviews.

Full stop.

All writers receive criticism and bad reviews. Even the best, most popular, most critically-acclaimed writers of all time. It's a fact of life, part and parcel with being a writer. Any writer who can't handle criticism and negative reviews should consider whether putting their work into the public forum is a good for their well-being.

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[fragmented-clown]

The Theory of Strucutral Dissociation (ttosd)

The theory of strucural dissociation is the current accepted theory with how Dissociative Identity Disorder forms in a person.

What is The Theory of Strucural Dissociation?

It works off of the assumption that no one is born with a multi-facted personality, and instead are born with a loose collection of ego states which each handle a seperate function to do with care, eg one for feeding, one for attachment to a caregiver, one for exploration, etc. Then, as a person grows up, all of these ego states combine into a multifaceted personality between the ages of 6 - 9.

Think of it like a net (unfolded box).

Each face of the box is a different ego state. They are still connected, but only by a small part, which allows them to communicate with each other. Then, as a person grows up, they then start to fold into a neat box, with this being completed between the ages of 6 - 9.

However, this process can get disrupted by a mixture of childhood trauma and a disorganized attachment to a caregiver. This causes dissociative barriers to go up between the faces of the folded box, making them no longer connected.

Then, when it comes time to get into a nice neat box, each face morphes into either its own box, or stays a face. The boxes are fully formed alters, whilst the faces are fragments.

Once the brain has learnt the coping mechanism of splitting parts with dissociative barriers, it can be done at any time, to any "box" or "face".

It is important to note that the ability to not intergrate is not only seen in children, however the severity which causes several distinct parts is only something which can be learnt as a child. People can have traumatic experiences which leads traumatic materials (memories, perceptions, learned reactions, etc), to not intergrate with the existing or forming personality, however does not create distinct personalities. This is considered primary and secondary dissociation, whilst DID comes under tertiary dissociation.

The difference between the levels is what parts are created, as detailed by the image below, as well as how much of a dissociative barrier there is. Someone with Primary Dissociation is not going to have alters, which those on the more severe end of Secondary Dissociation (OSDD1) and Tertiary Dissociation, will.

(image source)

Aparently Normal Parts (ANP) as parts which deal with daily life, whilst Emotional Parts (EP) are parts which either hold or represent traumatic experiences. Mixed ANP and EP, where a part is both an ANP and EP, is only present in DID. This is also associated with severe childhood trauma and generally happens when trauma started at a very young age or when trauma bleds over into daily life in a way where differentiation cannot happen or is unclear.

It is important to note that not every system will have clear roles as ANP, EP or Mixed Part, and for some this categorization system is unhelpful to them personally.

Disagreements with the theory:

There are people out there who disagree with the theory. The main three arguments for why it should not be used are;

One of the creators had their license revoked for abusing a client

It does not allow for endogenic systems to exist under the theory

There are things which fall outside of the theory which are common with OSDD and DID

My personal opinions on this are;

Whilst it is very terrible what Onno van der Hart did, and he deserved to have his license revoked for it, he can be a bad person and still have given good work. The world is not black and white. Secondly, van der Hart was not the only person to contribute to the theory, there were two other people who contributed to it, who to my knowledge are still active practioners and researchers who are in good standing

The theory currently only is for OSDD and DID, it was not written in mind for endogenic systems, as endogenic systems do not have OSDD or DID. Whilst there 100% needs to be more research into endogenic systems, it is okay for theory to exist purely for OSDD and DID, as even through anecdotes, they operate differently to endogenic systems

Yes, there are experiences which do not fit into the current theory. However, the whole theory should not be discounted because of it. The reason it is called The Theory of Structural Dissociation, is because it is still a theory. It is to date, the best understanding we have of OSDD and DID. There is obviously room to improve in regards to our understanding, however to do so, there had to be groundwork laid out.

[talesfromthebacklog]

Tales From The Backlog: FaeFarm

6/10

I’ve heard this game being quoted by a few folks as the cozy game of the season. While it is good; the game holds itself back from being truly great.

FaeFarm doesn’t have a ton of substance. It has an awesome aesthetic and solid gameplay, but it made a lot of choices that weakened it in comparison to its competitors. And while it has a strong aesthetic, I would dare say FaeFarm doesn’t have a strong identity.

The best way I’d pitch FaeFarm to other people is that FaeFarm is a strong introductory game that will easily get anyone acclimated to farming/life sims. It is not first on my recommendation list in general for most gamers though.

Let’s dig into why that is.

I want to first talk about what I think FaeFarm gets absolutely right. Tools and your weapon don’t take inventory slots. They get to exist in a separate pocket and switch out for you automatically. Brilliant. Loved this. I never knew how much I wanted a system like this. This should just be the standard from here on out. Period. Inventory management is a key part of the gameplay in these games but at the same time I feel like most people want stuff like their pickaxe always on hand.

Especially in a magic world. This isn’t Resident Evil, let me carry around essential tools.

This along with the infinite shed inventory that can be accessed by all of your work stations are so good. But It still draws the line where it can’t be accessed just anywhere and I like that.

The dungeon “elevator” chart that shows you what item that is on each floor you completed is also a great quality of life improvement. The rates they appear also appear on that chart which is another neat touch. It adds to the sense that you’ve completed an area.

Flower breeding is here too. It’s a simple mechanic, but I enjoy making fields of rainbow flowers. I always enjoy this mechanic when it’s present.

Then there’s the actual farming. Which you could theoretically skip altogether. The game offers several vegetables but things are in categories. So whether you have a potato or an onion the game simply classifies it as a root vegetable. Which ruins the point of the variety. And while FaeFarm has seasonal vegetables, most of the plants you have you can plant during any season. I can grow corn year round if I want to. (That is a complaint)

Don’t get it twisted, the farming is fun. It’s a lot less time/stamina consuming which makes it so you can run around doing your other activities. I like that the super moves cost mana rather than stamina so you can save it for other things. But the variety feels… shallow when they all end up being processed into the exact same things. You get the feeling that it didn’t matter what you picked or what season you picked it.

This isn’t just the farming, by the way. Fishing, catching critters, foraging. The only things that truly get differentiated is metals and gems. Which some people may like, but I don’t.

I feel like that’s the common theme with FaeFarm. It’s a shallow experience. Which isn’t meant to be a knock against it. But the game definitely comes across like it’s… structured for young children. And I acknowledge it is. That’s not a bad thing and not all games need to be deep, but this shallowness affects the core gameplay. It’s going to be the difference between the game being remembered or forgotten for its competitors. I’m cool with being wrong but I think FaeFarm is gonna disappear from gamer’s memories very quickly.

The shortcuts in FaeFarm (especially after you get your faerie wings) are a lot more satisfying than other games. Especially with the winged double jump. You can swim too! Moving feels good. I love that there are unlockable fast travel points.

Combat is fine. Animal care is standard fare. The dungeon crawling is solid. The enemies are standard fare. I really have nothing special to mention about these aspects. The story is standard fare. It’s cute. I like it. The drawn cutscenes are cute:

Coming back to those aesthetics, let’s talk about THAT: I’ve always had a soft spot for fem fantasy. Unicorns, mermaids, faeries, I unapologetically think it’s cool. That’s what attracted me to FaeFarm as a gamer.

But there’s a lot of small choices that make this aspect less fun. I thought there would be a large number of looks. There’s really not. Which is a shame because I think this aspect is actually really important to aesthetic games like this.

There is a surprising lack of options. From clothing, to dye, to the wings themselves. And these options expand over time but I can’t help but feel that some of these aspects, like dye, shouldn’t have been locked in the first place.

I get unlocking recipes and stuff. But it annoys me 100% of the time when a high aesthetic game makes dyes an absolute chore to get. Like let me live my life? And then the game doesn’t even let you pick the color of your starting outfit, so god forbid you want a hair color that doesn’t match.

It’s a nitpick but I stand by that nitpick. Games like Animal Crossing handle the dye situation a lot better. If you’re going to emphasize customization there should be some aspects that inherently make it more enjoyable. And they do emphasize it! You get rewarded for decorating by raising your stats. They leave little secret furniture recipes everywhere. They want that to be rewarding. But it’s not necessarily fun, it’s a means to an end. Let me have fun, because decorating currently is something only to boost my stats. And with a small furniture catalogue that would’ve gone a long way to making me want to actually decorate my house.

And then there’s the same face syndrome. Which is a shame because the body types and designs are largely really good. It feels wasted… and lazy.

Side note: I was thinking about what the models looked like. And the models from FaeFarm kinda look like the nicer Roblox characters folks like to make. Not saying that’s positive or negative. No complaint here.

The chibi sizes are a nice proportion. I don’t like the games (Harvest Moon does this frequently) where the game equates chibi characters to look like babies. I hate that. Especially with romancable characters. FaeFarm actually strikes this balance well.

Too bad the dialogue is… juvenile (It’s also super bland, but again you don’t play FaeFarm for the dialogue so I think that’s ignorable). FaeFarm isn’t meant to be deep. But it is hard to want to woo certain villagers when they act like actual children. And again… I acknowledge what FaeFarm’s target demographic is, but with romance NPCs it totally can turn me off to those sections of the game. It is what it is. I don’t care if it’s meant for children, I can still critique it.

Rune Factory does that shit too. Sometimes they even put in actual children which is a big ick. It genuinely can ruin the experience for me. Argyle suffers from that problem the most.

I dated this guy. Nhamashal. He was fine. I was either going to pick him or Pyria. I picked him because he matched my house better. Lol.

As far as I’m aware there is practically zero benefit to befriend or romance anyone. There is no functional benefit and the NPCs have near nothing interesting to say so there isn’t an emotional benefit either. (This is partially untrue. Friends will give you the same empty radiant quests over and over. But you would have made more money going and doing other things. So I consider them a waste of my time.)

FaeFarm’s residents don’t have enough identity or dialogue to care about whether you exist or not. I don’t even think my husband sleeps in the house. He just kinda mills around the farm now.

FaeFarm is a good game. But it isn’t first on the list of games I would be apt to recommend to other people. I’d suggest Rune Factory and Stardew Valley over Faefarm. But if you were looking for something new and you’ve already played those games, FaeFarm is perfect.

And… again Faefarm is a strong introductory game. It has a good, decently quick but in-depth, tutorial on how the world works. But that’s all I consider FaeFarm. It’s an introductory piece. I disagree with this being the cozy game of the season. I would say that’s too generous of a compliment. But it does get a lot right.

I would recommend FaeFarm over Story of Seasons and Harvest Moon. I get that some people like the slower pace but I just think games like FaeFarm, Rune Factory, and Stardew offer more complete experiences. “Harvest Moon” especially has really fallen off. I don’t touch those games anymore. I moved over with the real Harvest Moon to Story of Seasons.

[needtoloveoutloud]

Apparently, a hot take on hive-mind tumblr?

Every time I see a post that equates pro-shipping or difficult, problematic themes in (fan) fiction and books and other stories with actual, real-life SA or whatever the topic is, I automatically assume that the OP lacks critical thinking skills and media literacy, fell for the dangerous Puritan movement that's sort of going on in the US (and other countries, too) right now and is likely 14 y/o (or at least mentally stuck at that age) and simply jumped up on that dangerous bandwagon of wanted censorship.

Also, a little bit of hope dies within me.

I could write a damn essay on why equating the “experiences” of fictional (read it again: fictional aka NON-EXISTENT characters) with the trauma and experiences of real-life people is incredibly harmful and hurtful.

To somehow put the plot of a story on the same level as what actual victims went through under the guise of "omg you write/read something like that, so you must support this" is so disrespectful, on so many levels. To everyone affected.

(for example: in my story, I wrote about a 4 y/o girl that got kidnapped by child-traffickers. Does not mean that I a) condone that shit in any way shape or form in the real world and b) am a kidnapper and/or child trafficker myself...? I don't even know why this needs to be clarified?)

Only because some people don't like something that does!not!actually!harm! a real-life person, doesn't mean that that thing should be forbidden or censored. This is so, so incredibly dangerous. I feel like we have learned nothing from history. How about we just start burning books again? That worked out amazingly in the past and wasn't a catalyst for any big issues at all, right?

Assuming stuff is properly tagged, it's your own responsibility for what you consume online. If you are under 18, this applies too. A lot of authors feel uncomfortable to sharing their work with minors, which is completely fine, and they are in the right to do that. If you still continue to read a story (or in the case of AO3, click "accept" when the warning pops up that a story might include adult themes (graphic description of violence, sex, language, whatever, really): then it is on the minor (or the parents who didn't oversee their child's internet activity). Authors are not their parents or guardians. If minors have unrestricted access to the internet (which I am not sure they should have, at least not when you're 12 or something, but then again: I'm no one's parent), then all you can do is learn by experience. You lie and pretend you're older than you are? You click "understand" and read a story that involves adult themes?

If you do all that, despite the site's warning or the author's warning, then you do not get to complain that the story is intended for people who are older than you, have more media literacy and critical thinking skills to be able to differentiate between fiction and real life or the fact that the story contains adult themes — as it was tagged. WHATEVER adult themes are included.

Trying to censor stuff or illegalize things only because YOU subjectively think they are wrong or immoral or whatever opens the door to a lot of dangerous effects that we, in a civilized society, had to work hard to bounce back from in the past — historically speaking.

Some countries still have major restrictions and censorship of stories, books, and whole websites (that do not harm people) and it was often possible to implement such laws and censorships because it was argued (in the beginning) that it was for the protection of young people or because all porn is inherently bad or stuff like that. Then, it opens the doorway to a lot of other censorship, and then it's too late or very, very hard to reverse.

Idk, there are just so many things wrong with the notion of "anti-shipping" or "I wanna censor shit you read/write because I don't like it/think it's immoral" and, personally, it just rubs me the wrong way.

God, I can already feel people starting a discussion or blocking me or unfollowing me or whatever. And you know what's the beauty of it? You can do that — because we, luckily, have the power and responsibility to be in charge of what content we actively consume online. :)

P.S. I shouldn't have to say this, but obviously (as stated) my take on all of this only applies to fictional characters. Writing SA stories on real, existing people (celebrities or not) is not okay.

Feel free to ignore this, feel free to jump in to discuss this topic like adults, idc, really :D Just wanted to voice my thoughts to the vast void of the interwebs

Also: feel free to help educate me if you think I lack background information or stuff.

[stareulogy]

❝ if you could choose to be anything after death, what would you be? ❞　 star eulogy is a hyper-extended version of headspace, made real upon sunny’s death in the bad ending.

content warning: this blog contains heavy spoilers for omori, suicide, cannibalism and general dark themes.

pinned post updated as of: august 17, 2024

this blog follows a porcelain doll that holds sunny’s consciousness, as he finds any way to pass the time. cursed with immortality, he’s been alive for centuries.

sealed at the bottom of the universe, sunny’s made highly questionable decisions in his past, leading to his imprisonment, and his failure to acknowledge the truth. as he learnt that fateful day, you can’t hide from the truth, even in a different life.

sunny’s open for asks. keep him entertained?

this au has been in development for over a year. from a discord server, to multiple threads, to art between a few people. i finally decided to make a blog for the au, after months of writing.

currently available:

sunny, the porcelain doll (tag)

??? ??????? (???? ???????)

????????? ????? (???????????)

no nsfw asks, anon gifts are allowed, interactions with other blogs are highly appreciated and encouraged.

you are absolutely welcome to make fun games using anon magic, as long as you label yourself (if on anon). this is runs on an honour system, do not impersonate each other, do not cause drama via. my inbox.

reminder that the character ≠ the writer, sunny has a disorder that effects his behaviour and how he interacts with other people. sunny is not an accurate representative of the cluster-b disorder he has - it’s dramatized after centuries. of being in blackspace.

this au is closed, and is not allowing other characters to join in. (for example, you cannot make a star eulogy aubrey account and interact with people.)

feel free to ask as other characters if you don’t have a blog to do it, just add:

- (emoji) (character name)

and i’ll tag it. feel free to get crafty! i encourage alternates/variants of a character coming to ask, sunny here is aware of the different universes.

(same works for consistent anons. if you want sunny to remember you, then add an sign off in the same style.)

now, if you’re struggling with asking questions, you now have a silly little prompt list! it’s fun, speedy interactions you can get with sunny!

NOT LORE RELATED

# princess arc (ongoing?)

# royal ball event (finished)

# tea party event (finished)

LORE RELATED ARCS

... huh. i didn’t do any yet.

sometimes i might not tag things properly! please remind me to add a tag if i forget.

LORE POSTS

alternates, variants, sunny’s thoughts

sunny’s feelings on hero

would sunny date each variant? (with honest opinions and his thoughts)

jobs that sunny had in the past

sunny’s favourite universe so far

flowerwaltz in star eulogy

bounty hunting

florians (species)

blackspace

here, everything should be tagged properly.

characters have their own basic tags, i only drop ooc text into the tags, after these symbols: //

i’ll tag your blog name under each interaction.

for organization’s sake, i’ll only link the anons here.

special anons

# 🌟 anon

# 👑 anon

# 🔮 anon

# 💠 anon

# 🃏 anon

(tumblr ate the tags, sorry. those are the current roster of anons, listed from early to recent.)

honestly. i didn’t want to make a section for this. i kinda wanted to stay mysterious and cool.

hi! i’m the star eulogy mod, he/meow pronouns, i go by sunny, but you can just call me sunshine here, for the sake of differentiation between character and writer.

i mind my own business, so i don’t really see a lot of things that other blogs do. i’m very private.

if you ping the blog in your promo post, i’ll reblog it. i reblog new blogs’ pinned posts, whenever i can.

my timezone is est. but i sleep when i want to.

all of the art you see coming from me belongs to me, aside from the usage of official art, by omocat.

here’s one of my favourite art posts.

fun fact: the original universe that star eulogy originates from, was on the universally loved route. it was set up for sunflower, hence how sunny distances himself from most basil alternates.

i personally don’t ship sunny (in general) with anybody. but i’m willing to write it for the lore, if sunny (star eulogy) can keep a relationship for longer than a day.

he’s on the spectrum. (aromantic, asexual, autistic) so romance might not look the same to you, as it does to him. he’s my silly little princess.

[robo-milky]

[MORE INFO]

Nicknames:

Brittle Star (Floyd) | Monsieur Fontaine (Rook) | Mr. Leikata/Leikata-sensei (Idia) | Lei (Neige)

Bio:

Leikata is an expressive boy who’s always honest to himself. Whenever he feels happy, sad, or angry, his body’s natural reaction is to tear up. As a result, his peers mistook him for an irrational crybaby. Contrary to this, Leikata is someone who can speak clearly and calmly in tears. Additionally, he’s gained a reputation for being a “pretty cryer”. This does not make Leikata ashamed, he instead embraces it as a natural side of him. Leikata believes it’s best to let loose and go with the flow, than bottling everything up. Moreover, Leikata’s heart bleeds as much as he cries. Leikata is not just sensitive to his feelings, but others’ as well. If he feels like he did something wrong, he will gladly admit and bring attention to it, even if the other party can’t care less. This is also the reason Leikata can’t lie, the guilt would have eaten him alive.

Core values -> Honesty + Peace

Background:

Leikata’s father is a renowned artist in Twisted Wonderland, known for his craftsmanship of using purely paper to make masterpieces. As a result, Leikata followed his father’s footsteps and became somewhat of an apprentice, working under him for exhibitions and galleries. At the age of 12, Leikata discovered his own UM, “Paper Plans”, and started to surpass his father when it came to crafts, via magic. Out of respect for his father’s value of traditional crafts, Leikata branched off to do his own shows and viewings, by joining the scenes of paper theatres and stop-motion. His personal works are niche among the art community, but he’s been getting more attention through collaborations with others.

Notable Thoughts: Leikata’s

“Silver’s the best! He is my first friend in Night Raven College. …Why? Because he was the only student who wasn’t intimidating.”

“Kalim is a surprisingly good person to vent to, if you ever need it. He always knew how to pick me right up, and sometimes he’d even cry with me.”

“Vil is truly the fairest of them all! Well… maybe not when he’s chewing me out for flunking potionology, haha…”

“When Rook is not keeping an eye on Epel, it becomes my job to keep an eye on him. I’ve tried so hard to teach him how to differentiate between the dessert spoons, but he still doesn’t get it…”

“Lilia’s wears a sun-blocking visor when he has P.E.; I wonder if I should get that too.”

Notable Thoughts: Others’

“I thought I had offended Master Leikata when I talked to him the other day, but apparently his eyes are sensitive to sunlight. That makes me wonder how much of his tears are real…” - Cloche

“Leikata brings such life and energy to the Board Game Club, even going so far as to make customized game pieces for us, and animating them in front of our eyes. He’s so creative, turning chips into something so avant-garde. …Surely, they must be worth quite a lot under his name.” - Azul

“I don’t get why Vil wants me to be like Leikata so bad… All that pansy does is cry.” - Epel

“I can’t believe Azul invited Mr. Leikata— THE Leikata who was part of the stop motion for one of the biggest current blockbuster anime OPs of all time, to the BG club—! What was he thinking?!” - Idia

“I wonder how Lei how is doing, after he animated the credits of my last film. I was hoping we could catch up some time, after he moved.” - Neige

Extras/Trivia:

- Light magic user

- Leikata’s hair used to be long and symmetrical, until Rook burned it part of it by accident during a science lab.

- Leikata’s favourite food, stargazy pie, is banned from the Pomefiore dining hall for life.

- Pomefiore is generally very protective and coddling of Leikata. Not necessarily because they’re scared of him getting hurt, but because of the potential danger that is his UM.

- One of Leikata’s past times in Pomefiore is doing puppet shows in the lounge. Students of other dorms drop by sometimes to watch.

- Leikata’s anime/manga/gaming collabs are essentially the TWST equivalent of JJBA x Gucci/Louvre

Full Sprite:

[chaoticstarlightwonderland]

Soulmate AU where you can hear the thoughts of your soulmate but only when they are in the throes of despair, and you are helpless to save them. (Idea came from a Komahina fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35031382/chapters/87252490. )

Also sorry for formatting issues and for the length I typed this on my phone.

Makoto is very aware of the traumatic incidents Nagito has gone through, losing his parents, getting kidnapped etc. as a young boy he would cry to his parents for the sake of his soulmates and all they could do was hug Makoto and feel sorry for the other mysterious child.

Nagito on the other hand isn’t even sure if he has a soulmate. Makoto may have bad luck, but he has lived a peaceful life so it’s no surprise that Nagito wouldn’t be able to experience anything.

They meet when they are both attending Hope’s peak, an incident occurs where Makoto ends up finding out about Nagito’s illnesses and sets up a secret meeting to talk to the older boy about it.

Makoto would have heard Nagito’s thoughts on only having 6 months to live, and was sad and terrified about finding this out. Maybe even Nagito heard Makoto’s voice? But anyway, once they clarify things, Makoto excitedly hugs Nagito out of relief that his soulmate is alive, much to Nagito’s shock.

They decide to start up a friendship to get to know each other. They have their ups and downs. Makoto is rather taken aback by Nagito’s philosophy over talent and hope, but never stops trying to understand Nagito. Nagito in turn is impressed by Makoto’s optimistic attitude and ability to make friends with nearly everyone.

It’s not all hard hitting subjects though. The two share book recommendations (Mysteries from Nagito, whatever’s popular from Makoto). They’ll have lunch dates sharing snacks Nagito’s luck got for free. If whenever Nagito has to spend lunch in the nurse’s office, Makoto will return the favour by buying lunch from the canteen.

When Nagito meets Makoto’s mother the woman gives Nagito a big hug to make up for all the sad things she heard over the years but was helpless to do anything about. Nagito is overwhelmed. This touch-starved social awkward orphan can’t even process the sudden mum energy in his life.

He gets to meet the whole family. Nagito calls the mum “Auntie” the dad “Uncle” and Komaru “Komaru-chan” to differentiate them from Makoto. Nagito tries to be on his best behaviour but the family clearly realises that this kid has issues. But since they were already somewhat aware of his horrible past because of Makoto, they were fairly understanding. The relationship between the Naegis’ and Nagito could be worse all things considered.

Sadly the tragedy still happens, and Makoto is stuck hearing every one of Nagito’s despair thoughts, which are practically all the time now. This continues even when Makoto loses his memories at the start of the killing game. He asks the other students if they are also getting weird thoughts from their soulmates and for some of them it is the case, but not as bad as Makoto. This helps everyone realise sooner that the world outside is not in a normal state and they might have lost some time between entering the school and waking up on their “first day”.

(If Leon and Ibuki are soulmates, maybe Leon hears her music and becomes brainwashed by it. Or is at least wanting to know what happened to her)

(((Maybe that the ultimate despairs were told to be careful about what they thought when watching the killing game broadcasts so as not to let their soulmates inside catch on.)))

The finale of the killing game happens and Junko reveals herself, the ultimate despairs including Nagito check in at this point. Nagito is in awe of Makoto and all that he accomplishes. Then he hears Kyoko call Makoto the “ultimate hope” and something clicks.

It’s been a long standing issue between them about finding out why they were soulmates. Were they romantic or platonic. It’s here that Nagito decides it is neither.

Nagito was destined to become the ultimate despair so that Makoto would rise up and become the ultimate hope. Two great powers with the fate of the world between them. It was Nagito’s destiny to help Makoto show his potential and eventually defeated by the younger man.

Perhaps in UDG, Nagito wanted to bring Makoto in to orchestrate a final showdown between the two, but luck (Nagito or Makoto’s? Who knows.) leaves it so that Nagito ends up with Byakuya and Komaru instead. Nagito interpreted this as meaning that he needs to become a stronger despair before Makoto can face him. In the meantime, he can help train ‘Komaru-chan’ so she can grow stronger in the apocalypse. Basically Nagito’s actions are similar, but because he had a relationship with her before, he cares more and his actions are more about making her stronger mentally to protect herself rather than for game mechanics. He doesn’t try and trigger Genocide Jill to kill her because of this.

After the events of UDG Makoto sets up a plan to to use himself as bait to take Nagito so that they can put him into the simulation.The older man is begging for Makoto to kill him, end the great despair that is Nagito Komaeda and being the world into a bright hopeful age. It breaks Makoto’s heart to see Nagito like this. All Makoto ever wanted was for his soulmate to be safe and happy. Instead Makoto has to hear his soulmate beg to be killed so that the younger man could become some sort of messiah.

SDR2 happens and Makoto is shocked and heartbroken to see what Nagito does at the beginning of the killing game. Kyoko is the one to explain to Makoto why Nagito is acting so different. When the two met, Nagito had already realised he was going to live longer than foretold, was receiving medical treatment, and was in a more positive/safe environment than he had been for most of his life, so he was relatively mellow by then. However in the simulation he still thinks he only has 6 months to live, is suddenly thrust into a killing game with strangers that he has put on a pedestal with strict standards, he’s not going to act rationally.

(((I like to think Makoto might get a little jealous seeing how much Nagito cares about Hajime in the game, but tries to shake it off, as Nagito doesn’t remember Makoto, and the two never made anything official. Still it’s fun to think of Makoto clenching his chest, looking sad, when Nagito tells Hajime “I’m truly in love with the hope that sleeps inside you.”)))

Makoto especially took it hard seeing Nagito gruesomely kill himself, when all Makoto ever wanted was for the other to live. It’s the closest Makoto had felt to despair (without watching the brainwashing video).

When the survivors wake up from the killing game, Makoto is obv happy to see that they have all their memories and are no longer remnants. Not only that, but that they are all determined to wake up the others. Makoto is sad to leave Nagito behind, but feels better knowing that his classmates will take care of him.

When Makoto is confronted about what he did with the ultimate despairs by the Future Foundation, he is accused of only doing this cuz his soulmate is involved and he should be less biassed, but Makoto argues he would do the same thing regardless because he believes in what he is doing (and we fans know Makoto is telling the truth).

Nagito’s fantasy world does not include Makoto, for the same reason it doesn’t include Hajime and Chiaki, Nagito’s emotions towards them are too complicated for this paradise.

Time continues to pass and the two are unable to meet in person until after the events of final anime. Nagito rushes up to meet Makoto, but is a lot more hesitant, as he feels lost, albeit grateful. A part of Nagito still feels like Makoto should have “defeated” him, but he knows Makoto enough as a person to realise he would never do that. And maybe Nagito believes that Makoto deserves better than a soulmate destined to be killed.

I’m not sure what should happen next. Any thoughts would be appreciated!! Thanks for reading this far!

[still-not-a-cat]

TASK UPDATE

Calypso (my standard poodle service dog in training) will be EIGHTEEN MONTHS OLD in just a few days! We have come so far with task training! I’m so proud! These are some of the tasks we are working on

PTSD: 10/10. Amazingly helpful she is excellent! She has only had a few opportunities to truly perform a responsive task but her preventative measures (grounding, interruption, etc.) are absolutely life changing and her few responses have made a world of difference in my recovery time and abilities.

Mobility (retrievals/door opening): 8/10. these are fun to train and very useful but not as life changing. They are extremely helpful in my wheelchair but we are still very new to working in the wheelchair. She’s also just a baby so she often gets confused.

Heart rate: 3/10. we are working so hard but i really haven’t put the time into this that she needs. We are still working on the nudge and differentiation between nudge for heart rate and paw for repetitive behaviour interruptions. My POTS is also rather under control with my current lifestyle, though I expect going back to school will throw it off again 😢

Behaviour interruption: 6/10. she is AMAZING with scratching and the very obvious behaviours that cause obvious harm, but smaller behaviours like skin picking are much less likely to be caught. She’s also working on differentiation between repetitive Bad and repetitive Good (scratching vs clapping). She does not alert to rocking and other harmless soothing behaviours anymore! Yay!!!

[pixyys]

Hii, can i request fluffy, angsty and nsfw headcanons about dazai with a s/o that has a similar personality and views on the world like him pls

— mirror image.

dazai with a s/o who has a similar worldview and personality

warnings. listen, dazai's worldview screams depression, at least to me; dazai's obsession with suicide.

💌 heyaa anon! my requests are actually closed right now. but your request intrigued me. (like cmon! it's dazai we're talking about) i don't write nsfw, though. so i'll try to cover the depressing and fluffy part. i hope this meets your expectations! because oh my god the struggle writing this man is real.

angst, if you squint hard enough?

dazai is a literal mystery. this man has a lot of things going on in his head. it's safe to say he has a distinct worldview if compared to everyone else.

dazai doesn't fear death, and he doesn't necessarily see it as the opposite of "life." ironic as it is, he is looking for a reason to live; something more life can offer besides simply "living" and "not dying." for that, he observes people, testing their boundaries. the port mafia was chosen because it is a place closest to despair and death—where the truest human nature will appear. another interesting thing is that dazai is morally grey. he doesn't differentiate—either by choice, or he just doesn't have that good of a moral compass—between the "good" and the "bad"; the light and the dark. he's just simply there to observe and "mimic" whatever those he observes do.

during the early time you got to know each other, dazai was alert, guarded, untrusting. before you both catch feelings or establish the relationship, early interactions might include an endless loop of mind games, competitions in psychological manipulation, and psychoanalysis. yeah. gaslight, gatekeep, girl boss all the way.

he will get more interested in you once he knows you have similar thoughts about how you perceive the world. some people can understand him to some extent, like oda. but someone who thinks with the same perspective; he hasn't met someone as such until you came along.

opposites attract, but similarities bring a sense of belonging, familiarity; trust. dazai isn't one to trust people. but he treasures those who can see through him and understand his layers of personality. you are one of his favorite and most trusted people.

he will let himself be vulnerable around you. the night he lost oda, he realizes how feeble a human's life is, and how you can also easily slip off from his grasp. his voice relents and his eyes subtly shudder as you hold him, stripped bare of any buffoonery and charming smiles.

now, even if you have a similar worldview, you don't necessarily always have an obsession with suicide too. 

but the point is: you both have yet to see the worth of being alive; stuck in a never-ending journey together to seek that "one reason." things can go both ways: one of you manages to convince the other that life is worth living for, or it's the other way around. this might not count as a worldview, but whatever you both have in your minds is like a teetering seesaw. one tip from either side can make a huge shift.

fluff! mostly.

an incessant onslaught of flirting and pickup lines; pda in public and work. you both make it a competition to fluster each other first, and it's killing kunikida.

being a power couple! your existence basically becomes the bane of kunikida's and chuuya's existence.

dazai will brag about you, talking about how attractive, charming, and smart you are. but if someone tries to use you as dazai's liability, or at least have the slightest idea to do so, well, just know that morals are not the top thing in dazai's mind. the person is going to have a very wonderful time.

deep, late-night talks. he might even take you to bar lupin, oda's grave, or any place he finds personally sentimental. what are you talking about? well, it can range from something as absurd as the most ridiculous way to commit suicide or heavy things like discussions on morals and existentialism. big brain time.

will most likely pout and turn into a manchild if you joke-flirted with someone else. his reaction is mainly not serious because he knows he can trust you.

will get jealous if another person tries to flirt with you though. depending on how aggressive and assertive the person's attempts, his response can vary from a casual "oh, there you are. i missed you belladonna," while reaching for your waist; to giving the most terrifying stink eye known to man.

the post-effect of a jealous dazai is an extremely clingy dazai. similarly, you're a clingy person yourself too. so there will be a lot of cuddles :)

expect a lot of pet names. you're going to be creative if you want to keep up with him. 

he likes hearing you talk! not only because he likes hearing your voice, but also your brilliant mind.

cooking? uhh, i hope you at least know how to boil water and not burn them. alternatively, you can be a big ball of mess together and live life as msg junkies. hey! at least the takeouts taste good.

endnote. thanks for the request and for trusting this idea to me <3 i hope this delivers hehe