#and we have talked about how if i am upset i will say so instead of ghosting you

[writingsofwesteros]

The sweet Princess was walking through the gardens with her Uncle Aemond. After the war Aemond spent time away from court, mostly on Dragonstone, ruling their family's ancestral seat- a reward granted to him by Aegon. He had returned to court for her name-day, which Aegon insisted would be the grandest celebration in all of Westeros- much to the chagrin of the Master of Coin.

"My, how you've grown," Aemond commented as he walked beside her. "I see now why even on Dragonstone they know of the Golden Princess."

"Thank you, Uncle," She said softly.

"I see you've your father wrapped around your finger," Aemond hummed in amusement.

"I told father he need not go to such lengths," She told him. "But he insisted, he said that he would have nothing but the best the Crown could give."

"Indeed. And has he decided who you are to wed, sweet niece?" He asked. Her cheeks flushed. "Oh, I- I don't think so. Father gets angry when such talk is brought up. He says I am not ready, that tis not the time." Aemond's brow furrowed.

"But you shall be ten and eight, upon your nameday, sweetling. Surely you know your mother wed your father when she was ten and four."

"I know," She replied. "But Mother agrees with Father. She grows upset when the talk is brought up too much- though I am not particularly upset about it."

"Hmm," He glanced down at her, her hair was like gold and silver silk woven together. She was sweet, his niece, gentle, like a dove, though she was undoubtably spoiled, not that it surprised him. Aegon positively revered the girl, Aemond would not doubt that if Aegon could make the realm worship her instead of the Seven, he would.

"I am so pleased you came, Uncle," She said softly. "Mother has missed you, and Father too- though he would not admit it. He shows it in his own way, though. At night he would often recount stories of your youth together. Of how you and he rode into battle on dragonback."

"Indeed we did," Aemond said. "How often do you ride, sweet girl?"

"Often," She smiled. "I adore it so, Mother, Father and I go together when we can, though when I go alone Father and Mother itch for me to return." Her eyes were round, and wide, looking up at him so sweetly as she rambled on about her silver-gold mount.

"Come, little one," Aemond said lowly. "It's been far too long since you've seen Vhagar. Perhaps instead of riding your mount, you would join me atop Vhagar for a ride?"

"Oh, Uncle," She beamed. "I would adore that." He smiled to himself, and stroked her cheek. "Come on then, sweetling."

Aemond being the best uncle thank you ; he really is the best girl uncle/dad.

She links arms with him whilst moving towards his dragon with excitement

[capseycartwright]

ok i am going to get uncomfortably personal on main for a second please don’t make eye contact with me. this new trend of people vehemently saying that any storyline eddie may have about religion this season doesn’t ~ have to be ~ about his sexuality is genuinely a little upsetting to see because it’s not just oh it can be about something else anymore. so often recently i have just seen over and over the implication that it’s somehow wrong to so desperately want it to be about his sexuality - and maybe the intention is not for it to come across that way, but it often does.

as someone who grew up in a deeply religious, frankly strict, catholic environment (my school had an on campus priest. like that’s the level of catholicism we’re talking about here. i was in the big leagues) i freely admit i am clinging to the idea of eddie having a sexuality related storyline that revolves around his faith because i want that and i needed that when i was fourteen and struggling to come to terms with my sexuality because i was such a devout fucking catholic. i have done all the sacraments. i spent my entire life in catholic education. i didn’t miss mass any sunday for eighteen full years of my life. i was fucking religious. and i am bisexual. and i could not accept it. i didn’t even begin to accept it until i was 21. i didn’t even want to accept it then. i will have that religious trauma for the rest of my life. and i don’t even know how to articulate myself properly when i talk about it now, years later, but it’s not just the unlearning of your own faith that’s traumatic - it’s the loss of a community you spent your entire life in. that’s gone forever for me and it leaves behind an ache that’s hard to describe.

eddies faith journey could be about anything, sure, it absolutely could. but i need it to be about this. and i will make it about sexuality in every fic i write even if i don’t get it on screen - and i really hope i get it on screen. i am not the only person who feels that way. and this new wave of ~ discourse ~ where you’re somehow wrong to want eddies faith storyline to be about his sexuality because it couldn’t possibly be about anything other than heterosexuality and him feeling like a failure because he was going to get divorce and no longer have a nuclear family makes me feel about as small as i did when i realised the church i had loved (and still frankly love - despite it all, despite how much i wish i didn’t) my whole life would never love me back. we all have our interpretations of what these things mean, and are more than entitled to those differing interpretations - but what you’re not entitled to do is imply those of us who see our queer, catholic journeys in eddie are somehow stupid or wrong for seeing that.

i don’t like talking about this stuff. i write fic where i make eddie talk about it instead. that’s my way of processing. i just think a wee bit of empathy when it comes to things like faith and queerness - knowing so many of us share the same story about religion and sexuality, and intimately know how hard that story is to live, regardless of what faith you followed - is important. you might not see queerness in a storyline about faith or believe it’s there but lots of us do, and being so dismissive of that is just kinda mean, actually. ok bye.

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[todayisafridaynight]

YEAH NO TONBI GOT HANDS.......... my timing on suggesting it may be Questionable but I AM very glad it holds up as a movie :] hopefully the interview and We Make Antiques are fun diversions! But also take it easy <3 can confirm Nakai is Pretty Moe in both though <3 And I WILL harass you about Masato's VA next week...

TBF YOU SUGGESTED IT A WEEK OR SO AGO twas on me for taking a while to get to it... nevertheless i did really enjoy it thank you..... AND YAYA IM SO STOKED TO WATCH THE FULL INTERVIEW AND WMA2 THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆!!!!!

esp cant wait to hear about masato's VA in the future.. 👁️👁️

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[a-b-riddle]

Part Four

Can't stop thinking about reader losing her cool.

"So we're closed, John." You said, trying to be cordial.

"Is that all you have to fucking say?" He practically growled before huffing. A humorless chuckle rumbling out of his chest. "I suppose not since you won't respond to any of us."

"Don't do that." You said taking a step back. Trying to create some distance between you and him. John would never physically hurt you. That much you knew.

"What?" He asked. His voice rising as he stepped closer to you. "Be angry that you pulled that shit and then left? Stopped talking to us. Changed your fucking locks. Last thing we even knew about you was that you got on a fucking plane and left. Even your friends wouldn't tell us anything besides that you were okay." "Which considering this came out of bloody nowhere, I find it highly unlikely that you are in any way 'okay'."

You took a deep breath. You wouldn't be intimidated. You wouldn't clam up. You wouldn't cry. You won't go back on your decision. You will be cordial and polite and not unleash everything you want to.

"I understand you might be upset, but it's for the best. It wasn't working out and I wanted to end on somewhat good terms. I would appreciate it if you lowered your voice and stopped speaking to me in that way." You could barely recognize your voice. It sounded so scripted. So robotic. But it was something you had been telling yourself. Excuses you had been telling yourself.

Because if you told yourself the truth. The picture you would paint would tell a different story. It wouldn't highlight the fact that John spoke to you like he was one of your men or that Johnny had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon. It wouldn't show what a flake Kyle was or that Simon was well and truly a mean-spirited person.

It would show how you weren't worth it. Four possible men. Four possibilities of happily ever after and none of them chose you. That no one ever did and no one ever would. You weren't worth it. You weren't loveable.

It wasn't right, but it was what the voices had been telling you late in the night. When you would crawl into your cold bed. The silence of the room not filled with John's steady breathing or the sound of Kyle's heartbeat as you laid you head on his chest. The absence of Johnny's occasional snoring or whatever Simon was watching playing in the background of your dreams.

In the void, all your dark thoughts came back at you.

"Upset?" He asked, his voice still louder than you would have liked. "An understatement considering the stunt you pulled."

"You think it was a stunt?"

"So Johnny thought with his dick and didn't plan things out. You should have told him instead of crying to Simon and then pulling this shit." "Christ, I knew you were still young, but I didn't take you for that immature."

"You know what?" "I'm done." "I am so fucking sick of making excuses for you all." "You want to act like I'm the immature one, John?" "You are 35-year-old man who cannot separate his work from his work like. You have continuously talked to and down to me like I am one of your men, only to turn around and always blame your shitty fucking attitude on work. I get that your job is stressful, but I did not sign up to be your verbal fucking punching bag."

"And this come and fucking go incident with Johnny. It has been a consistent issue with him coming over just to fuck. I've asked him for that last six months that 'hey, we've been seeing each other for a year and a half, I would love to meet your family' and suddenly the dates stop. He doesn't ask to see me until after 7 PM. He brings food occasionally, fucks me and leaves. Sometimes before I even wake up."

"And the only reason Kyle is the person I am the least pissed off with is because I haven't even seen him." You took a step closer, not noticing how the anger in John's eyes had softened. "I have not seen Kyle in weeks, to no fault of my own. I stopped reaching out to make dinner plans after the third time he canceled on a date night when I was either on my way or already at the restaurant."

"And Simon?" You scoffed. "Well, it doesn't really matter. After all, as he said I get mine. You all make me cum which is supposed to magically erase how shitty you've all been as partners. It's supposed to erase the nights I've cried myself to sleep debating on whether or not there was something wrong with me. How I'm not good enough to meet anyone else in your lives like some dirty fucking secret. How none of you can even bother to pencil me for a group dinner so I can tell you a publishing house picked up my book. How at some point you all stopped caring or maybe never did."

You took a breath. Blinking quickly to keep the tears at bay.

You wouldn't cry. You wouldn't cry.

"As Simon said it best, I should have known that spreading my legs wouldn’t end with one of you putting a ring on your finger.”

For once, John was silent. Unsure of what to say. An apology starting to form at the tip of his tongue before realizing 'sorry' wouldn't cut it. Not this time.

Had he really been that sharp with you? He knew that there were times he had gotten short, but he almost always apologized immediately after. If not at the very moment he took in your crest-fallen face, then definitely later. But he almost always told you he was sorry. Didn't he?

"So as I said," you swallowed down the lump in your throat. "I'm closed. We're done. Now get out." Your face held no sadness. Even though your eyes were nearly full to the brim with unshed tears, you weren't sad.

You were finally angry.

[katszumi]

silence immersed the room as the door clicked shut behind you. the ticking clock a reminder of how little time you have.

“you’re such an asshole, you know that?” you spewed to the male in front of you, your features displaying a look of anger.

katsuki rolled his eyes. “well, it’s not like i get called a ray of fuckin’ sunshine. what else did you honestly expect?” he crossed his arms over his chest, taking a seat atop of the long metal table.

“not much, yet you still seem to subceed my expectations.”

“subceed? seriously?” katsuki paused to let a scoff escape his lips. “you’re upset because i’m actually selling this story? the only one, might i add. this was your shitty grand idea!”

unknowingly, you took a step forward.

“the idea was to make it known we disliked each other. not for you to publicly shame and insult me!”

you, katsuki and a few other heroes were invited to attend a press conference. while the original topic was to discuss about the mission you all completed the day before, the topic began to stray away and focus on the relationship between you and katsuki.

japan knows of the hatred you and katsuki shared between each other, that was no unknown fact. the media described you two as fiery rivals considering both of your quirks contained fuel.

you two despised each other. or at least that’s the lie you fooled everyone with.

you were unsure when katsuki started to look appealing to the eye, how attractive he was when he was drowned in sweat, how you began to long for the small but noticeable glances he sent you in public. you couldn’t tell when it happened. but before you knew it, a small pool of desire that had katsuki’s name printed on it began to fill every minute of the day.

“which is no different than what we used to do. you want them to believe it? then don’t take my shit. suck it up and be a bigger asshole than i already am.” he was right. you know he was right. but it was so difficult to pretend as if you hated him.

even if you called him a bitch, or a cunt, maybe even call him out for having a small dick—which you know is far from the truth—that still wouldn’t deny the peace you felt whenever you were with katsuki. how the world seemed to stop still on its axis. how there were no rain, wind or time. just pure bliss.

fuck.

out of everyone, it just had to be him? his captivating, intense ruby irises. his brash, abrasive demeanor. only his words that could seem to sway you. the man the world deemed you to abhor.

instead of admitting the truth, you twist his words. “well, i’m pleased to know it’s so easy for you to do.”

“jesus fuck, y/n.” now, katsuki rose from his position, never once breaking eye contact with you. “you think this is easy for me? you think i like getting up there and lying through my teeth? doing this is the one of the hardest things i’ve ever done.”

he walks closer and even closer to you, minimizing the distance you established for good reasons. this is how it always happens; one of you forgets about the space you two have to maintain until words don’t seem to work anymore. instead, your lips weave together, forming a new way to communicate.

but you don’t move. you don’t want to.

“is it? all those insults feels like it comes pretty smooth to you.”

katsuki pauses as he takes a second to analyze you. his eyes scan your body then leading right up to your face.

“because those are the words i wish i could mean. every time, it burns me to say those things about you when i’d rather be up there claiming every single part about you.” he lowered to a whisper, but his voice maintained a fervent tone.

his hand raises, slow and steady. he cups your cheek, gently swiping his thumb across your cheek. instinctively, you lean into his palm, your eyes softening as you gaze into his eyes.

“you think i enjoy this?” you watch his jaw tighten, his hand dropping to your hip. “think i like watching you talk with those eager men? it takes everything in me to not beat them shitless for daring to come across you. do you know how hard it is to fight the urge to pull you in and show them that you’re not available?”

too captivated by his words, you didn’t notice how katsuki lowered his head. you could feel the heat of his body from how he gave you no room to breathe. he placed his lips on your soft skin, slowly kissing the side of your neck.

no. resist him. your mind was screaming. this couldn’t go on forever. at some point, you guys had to stop.

“what will make them back off? if i mark you up? think they’ll understand then?” he proposed the question, but to you, it seemed more like he was asking for permission.

you didn’t know what effect katsuki placed on you to have you like this. but in this moment, you didn’t care about the rumors, the consequences, your image. it was all pushed back in the back of your head. so, you slightly tilted your head upwards, giving him more leeway to continue.

katsuki gripped your hips. not too strong to leave a mark but strong enough to squeeze a small moan out of you.

“don’t you fuckin’ understand, y/n?” he leans away to look in your eye.

“what?” you meekly responded.

“i go insane when it comes to you. i’m not the kind of guy that drools over any woman’s attention. but, you… fuck.” he stops himself, from what you can only assume was to control himself with whatever he was about to say. “not being able to have you only makes me crave you more.”

you stay quiet.

“you know how many times i’ve tried to resist you?”

“how many?” finally, you spoke.

“too many fuckin’ times. i’m done fighting it, y/n.”

confusion struck your face. “what do you mean?”

“be mine. forget the press, forget our pr managers. be with me.” katsuki brings you closer with the hand placed on your hip, the action drawing you to one conclusion.

he leans in and interlocks his lips with yours. immediately, you drown in the feeling of his soft but chapped lips that you couldn’t seem to push away. somehow, you find the strength to pull back from him.

“not here. not in pub-”

“yes here.”

with his tone, you could mistake him to be aggressive in this moment. but over the months, you managed to be able to read his eyes from the forbidden glances he’s sent your way; how he really felt through the way he wore his eyes.

katsuki’s eyebrows were slightly furrowed, his soft ruby eyes shifted from your lips to your e/c irises.

there was a look behind his eyes. there were more watchful, more tender than usual. almost as if he was pleading with his eyes. like he was begging.

so, how could you say no to him in this state? him being so vulnerable with you?

but that was always the problem.

you could never say no to katsuki bakugou, no matter what.

your arms wrap around his neck, drawing him in with your eyes. he inclined his head and laid his lips on your mouth. the silence that did wrap the room ten minutes ago was replaced with the noise of sloppy kisses, your mouths powering over each other.

you can feel your heart rate increase from the action, even more noticeably so when he entangles a fist in the back of your shirt. he needs you closer, maybe within his skin if possible.

following his action, you guide your fingers through his ash blonde strands, sending a shiver down his spine. he nibbles on the bottom of your lip, pulling it just slightly.

“we really shouldn’t be doing this.” your murmur, yet his ears catches it. “this would be the hottest topic for the media.”

a snicker parted his lips. “we just can’t be caught. but the day you stop being scared, i’m ready.” his words vague and simple, yet still holding so much promise.

“i hate you.”

and you did. you hated that he was too enticing. too irresistible.

“thought it was hard for you to say things you don’t mean?” he referred from earlier. of course, that was just like him. the same him you mistakenly fell for.

“just shut up.” was all you replied with before leaning back in to connect his lips with yours, choosing to help him with your statement.

this was supposed to be like a forbidden love trope but i think i just revealed how thirsty i am😔

[girlgenius1111]

revelations

alexia + león!r's secret relationship comes to light no warnings! enjoy 🫶🏻

-------

“Ale!” You shouted, scrolling frantically through your phone, through photo after photo of you and Alexia at the beach the other day. They all bordered on too friendly, or at least they seemed that way to you. The panic in your tone was clear, and Alexia felt her stomach drop in the bedroom. She’d been putting away some laundry when you’d shouted for her, but she was running towards you without a second thought. 

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” she asked, sliding in her socks on the hardwood floor slightly as she made it into the living room. You looked okay, physically, although your face was contorted with anxiety and fear. 

Wordlessly, you held your phone out towards her. Alexia crossed the room in two long strides, grabbing the phone and beginning to scroll. “Oh.” She said. 

And if you had been anxious before, it was nothing compared to how you felt now. Was she upset with you? The beach had been your idea, your terrible, terrible idea. Alexia looked upset, and your thoughts began to spiral further. Did she not want anyone to know about your relationship for more reasons than just being afraid of your sister? Was she really not as into you as you thought and going public would be a mess that wasn’t worth it? Did she really even love you? 

“Amor?” Alexia said. You looked up at her, seeing her brows furrowed as she gazed down at you. You realized she had said your name a few times, but you’d been too lost in your own head to notice. “Talk to me.” Her voice was gentle as she took a seat next to you, dropping your phone onto the sofa and taking your hand in hers. 

Alexia knew how you could be, and the best thing she could do for you when you got anxious was just listen. Sometimes you could talk yourself down, and other times she’d do it for you, but having her listen without judgment always seemed to help, at least a little bit. 

“Are you upset about the photos?” You asked, instead of listing out every insecurity that had just popped into your head. Alexia did not know how deeply unworthy of her you felt, and she never would if you could help it. 

Your girlfriend thought for a minute. “Not upset about the photos. I am… upset because you are upset.” 

“You aren’t mad that I made us go to the beach?” 

“Amor, you did not make us do anything. We just went to the beach. We are allowed to do that. I am upset that you are so anxious, I am not upset with you.” 

“People are going to see these, Alexia.” 

“I know that. We’ll deal with it, however you want.” 

You chewed on your lip for a minute. “And if I wanted to tell people? About us?” You asked, voice small and hesitant. Alexia felt her heart melt as she gently cupped your cheek, tilting your face to look at her. 

“Then we’d tell people. If that is what you want, that is what we will do. I understand why we are keeping it to ourselves, but I would also be very happy for everyone to know that you are mine.” 

“Really?” 

“Really. I just want you to be happy. That is all I want, and all I need. You, with a beautiful smile on your face.” Alexia whispered, leaning in and very softly pressing a kiss to your lips. 

You were a puddle of mush on the sofa at this point, tucking your face into Alexia’s neck and taking a few calming breaths. She held you carefully, as she always did incredibly content to sit with you until you felt better. If Mapi killed her when she found out, oh well. At least she’d gotten a whole year with you first. 

-------

“Hermanita, I am just saying, I can find you a date. It’s been so long since you’ve gone out with anyone.” Mapi was practically shouting, even though the volume in the club wasn’t very loud. She was excited, though, as she always was when she talked about your love life. Your sister was very famous for setting you up with girls, and once you got to know them more, decided they weren’t good enough for you. Which was part of the reason, you and Alexia had yet to tell your sister this was going on. 

“No, Mapi.” You said for what felt like the hundredth time, rolling your eyes good naturedly, even as you felt Alexia’s hand grip onto your upper thigh under the table. You peeked at her out of the corner of your eye. Her jaw was set tightly, and you could feel the jealousy coming off her in waves at even the mention of you going on a date with someone else. Mapi was too caught up in listing off people she could set you up with to notice. 

Alexia and you were both very tense. Ever since the pictures of you both at the beach had been released, you’d been walking on eggshells around your teammates, wanting to give them nothing that could lead them to believe you were anything more than friends. You’d decided to tell, yes. But you didn’t want people finding out through the pictures, or through walking in on you and Alexia making out in the showers after training. You’d been lucky, so far. No one had brought them up. And so, you hadn’t really thought anyone had taken the leaked pictures seriously. Your teammates definitely hadn’t, but it appeared that some of the fans had. Some of Alexia’s fans, specifically. 

This became clear when one of the girls who had been practically glaring at you across the bar all night finally made her approach. Alexia had left your side for just a minute to get you water, always one to push hydration. Your teammates were scattered throughout the bar, and Ingrid and Mapi were only a couple feet away, talking quietly to each other, small smiles on both of their faces. 

The girl was by your side very suddenly, almost startling you. She was clearly drunk, but the boldness and anger with which she spoke still shocked you. 

“I can’t believe Alexia Putellas would date you. You are not good enough for her. She should be with Jenni, or someone prettier than you. You’re wasting her time.” She slurred, each word feeling like a stab to your already very insecure heart. 

You stepped away from her, hearing Pina come to your defense from somewhere next to you, telling the girl to fuck off. Turning around, you almost ran directly into your sister, who had risen along with her girlfriend at the strange girl’s outburst. Her face was contorted with confusion, clearly having heard what the fan had to say. Your reaction spoke volumes, the way your eyes were flooded with tears, and your chest was already beginning to rise and fall rapidly. 

It was true, Mapi realized. In the time it took her to come to that conclusion, you were off, sprinting towards the bathroom. They were single bathrooms, thank god, and you made it inside quickly, not bothering to lock the door behind you. 

She was right. That girl was right. How could you ever think you were good enough for Alexia. Sweet, beautiful, perfect Alexia. The best person you’d ever known. 

It was one of the worst panic attacks you’d had in years, and by the time Mapi slipped in through the bathroom door, you were pretty far gone, only able to hear a faint ringing sound, only able to claw desperately at your chest. 

“Hermana, hermana, breathe, you are okay,” Mapi tried, reaching to grab your hand. You only wheezed in response, and Mapi realized you weren’t hearing her. Your sister looked around rather helplessly, her unspoken plea for help being answered almost instantly. 

The door opened and in came Ingrid, closely followed by a very frantic Alexia. As soon as the captain spotted you, though, her attention was stolen, no longer thinking about the implications of everyone finding out about your relationship. She was at your side on the filthy floor of the bathroom within a second, carefully grabbing your face in between her hands, and tilting it up towards her. 

“I am here, mi amor, I am right here. You have to breathe, cariño, let yourself breathe.” 

Alexia, too, realized you weren’t really hearing anything she had to say, so she switched tactics, wrapping her arms around you and pulling you in until your head was resting against her chest. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Ingrid tugging a resistant Mapi out the door of the bathroom, but Alexia only cared for you in that moment. 

“I have you, my beautiful girl. I love you, more than anything. Everything is okay. You are safe.” 

You managed to come back into yourself, your girlfriend’s voice in your ear the most comforting thing you’d ever heard. You looked up at her, tugging her as close to you as possible, needing to feel more of her. “Ale” you whimpered, watching her face crumble at the sound of her name. 

Alexia hated seeing you like this. “Mi preciosa.” She soothed. “I love you, my girl, I love you so much. You are okay.” 

Your insecurities quieted for a moment, in favor of something else flooding your mind. Mapi knew. Mapi knew. That her little sister was dating her best friend. You’d seen it on her face, when you turned around to flee the scene. She’d known. 

You’d talked about telling Mapi, yes, but now that she knew… you were terrified. What if she was upset? What if it ruined your relationship with your sister, or her relationship with her best friend? What if she made Alexia break up with you? 

Your girlfriend could tell very easily that you were spiraling, barely having calmed down in the first place. 

“Hey, come back to me. I’m right here, mi amor. Tell me what you’re thinking.” Alexia whispered, her face so close to yours that all you could really see were her eyes, squinted with worry. 

You gripped onto her shirt tightly with both your hands. “Mapi knows,” you told her, ridiculously afraid of her reaction. 

Alexia nodded slowly. “Ingrid told me when she came and got me. It’s okay, mi amor. We will deal with it.” 

“But what if-” 

“No what if’s. Tell the what ifs to go away. Just focus on calming down.” Alexia insisted, pressing a light kiss to your cheek. “Can you do that for me?” 

You nodded shakily. “Yeah. Just… stay here?” 

“I’m not going anywhere.” She promised, tightening her arms around you. “I’m staying right here, with you.” 

-------

Alexia got you up once you’d calmed down further, protectively wrapping an arm around your shoulders, and headed for the exit. As soon as you were both out of the bathroom, though, you were met with the sight of your sister pacing very aggressively around the little hallway just outside the door. Her head snapped up when the door opened, and Ingrid had to hold on to the back of her shirt to stop her from lunging at you, and pulling you into a hug. 

She squirmed in Ingrid’s grasp, huffing impatiently, all the while staring daggers at you. You searched her gaze for anger, but you only saw worry. 

“María,” Alexia began, pulling you in closer to her side. Mapi didn’t appreciate that, Alexia acting like you needed to be protected from her, and her face turned cloudy. 

“No. Alexia. No. How long has this been going on?” Mapi asked, her teeth gritted in a sudden flare of anger. You didn’t deserve to be kept a secret, and that’s exactly what Alexia had done to you. 

“María, amiga, I understand you have questions, I do, but your sister is really shaken up, and I’d like to take her home. She gets overstimulated after panic attacks, she shouldn’t be in here.”

Mapi floundered for a minute, filled only with concern for you, tucked away against Alexia’s side. 

“María, I just want to go home. We can talk tomorrow.” You said, your voice stuttering over your words. You were still anxious, still shaking, and all you wanted was to go home with your girlfriend, where it was quiet and safe and you could be entirely surrounded by Alexia. 

Ingrid squeezed your sister’s hand, and Mapi nodded to herself. “Okay, yeah. Okay hermana. I love you. Take care of her, please, Ale.”  

“Of course. I love her, María. I’ve got her.” 

Mapi watched as Alexia looked down at you, the softest expression she’d ever seen on her captain’s face. 

“Home, mi amor?” 

“Yes please.” You whispered. “Your apartment.” 

“Whatever you want, my girl.” She promised, before leading you in the direction of the exit. 

Mapi had never seen either of you like this. So evidently in love. So happy. And she felt stupid for missing it, and even worse that you’d both felt the need to hide it from her. She turned to Ingrid with tears in her eyes, to which her girlfriend sighed softly. 

“Come here.” Ingrid whispered, drawing her girlfriend close to her chest. 

“Am I a bad sister? A bad friend? Why wouldn’t they tell me?” Mapi mumbled. Ingrid shook her head. 

“No, you are a good sister and a good friend. You have an overprotective streak, María, they probably just wanted to give themselves time together before they told you.” Ingrid assured her. 

“I don’t like not knowing things.” Mapi complained quietly. 

Ingrid chuckled. “I know you don’t, María min. Now you know, though. And you can talk to them about it tomorrow. We can go to Ale’s and have a conversation.”

“Yeah. Oh god. EW.” Mapi said, quickly growing very disgusted. 

“What?” Ingrid wondered, pulling back in concern. 

Mapi looked nauseous. “They are sleeping at Alexia’s house together.” 

“Maybe your sister is sleeping on the couch.” Ingrid suggested helpfully. 

Mapi grinned up at her. “I love you.” 

-------

Alexia barely let you out of her grasp the whole way to the car, and the whole drive home. She kept your hand held tightly in hers. Somewhere in your head, you knew very well that when you were anxious, it made Alexia anxious, but you didn’t have it in you to say anything that would let her know you were okay. You weren’t okay, and you weren’t even really sure you could speak at all. You were much calmer now, physically, but your mind was still a mess. You were shaking, and you did your best to focus on Alexia’s thumb running soothingly over the back of your hand.  

Before you knew it, Alexia’s free hand was lightly stroking your cheek, and you looked over at her to realize you had arrived at her home. 

“Hi.” She said softly, her hazel eyes earnestly looking into yours. Alexia really did love to watch out for you, even before you were together. She’d always kept an eye on you, at first because you were her best friends’ sister. Eventually, though, she found herself watching you when she didn't have a reason to. And you’d gaze at her right back. 

“Hey.” You replied, giving her the best smile you could manage, although it was sure to be very weak and unconvincing. 

“Feeling better?” 

You shrugged. “A bit.” 

Alexia sighed, seeing through your lie, but she smiled at you anyway, kissing your cheek and getting out of the car. She was around the car in a flash, opening the door and offering you a hand. 

Once you were in the house, Alexia instructed you to sit on the couch and wait for her to return. You tried to relax into the couch, tried to get your mind off what the girl in the bar had said to you. You don’t think you were very successful, because Alexia was back in what felt like 3 seconds, though she had her hands full. 

“Okay. Water, crackers, your medicine and a sweatshirt. And that fun pokey ring.” She said, dumping everything onto the table in front of you, handing the sweatshirt to you first. It was one of hers, one of your favorites, and you pulled it on quickly, trying to covertly inhale the scent of her all over the fabric. Alexia very dutifully handed you the water next. You smiled at her gratefully, eating a few crackers and taking your anxiety medicine. You turned to her, prepared to tell her what had happened as you knew she was probably dying to know, but she turned back to the table, grabbing the acupressure ring. She gently took your hand, sliping the ring onto your finger, smiling to herself when your skin erupted in goosebumps at the sensation. 

“Better now?��� She asked, lacing her fingers with yours. You nodded, this time telling the truth. “Can you tell me what happened please?”

You nodded again, this time a bit more hesitantly. You didn’t really want to tell her what the girl had said, but you knew you had no choice. “What did Ingrid tell you?” 

“She said someone said something to you about me. And that Mapi heard, and knew we were together.” 

You thought for a moment. You were a bit torn on how to feel now. On one hand, Alexia had been so entirely perfect, the whole night. She’d gone out of her way to make you feel safe and help you calm down. Your insecurities really didn’t know any bounds, though, and you were still half convinced that the girl had been right.

“What did she say to you?” Alexia wondered, after it was clear you were having a hard time finding the words. 

You took a deep breath, tearing your eyes away from your girlfriends as you responded. “She said that she couldn’t believe you were with me. That you should be with someone better, someone prettier. And that I’m wasting your time.”

Alexia was silent for almost an entire minute, long enough for you to look up at her and try to gauge her reaction. She finally spoke when she made eye contact with you. “And you… you believed her? You think she was right?” She asked. 

“Do you?” You countered, trying to sound stronger and more confident in her answer than you felt. 

“No.” Alexia said, exasperation clear in her voice. “I do not. You are perfect for me. I do not need anyone else, and I do not want anyone else.” 

“Right.” You whispered, blinking hard. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have believed her I just-”

“You do not need to apologize for feeling bad that someone said something horrible to you.” Alexia replied, resting her hand under your chin and tilting it up towards her face when you wouldn’t look at her yourself. “I would never be mad at you for being insecure, mi amor. I understand. It just means I do not tell you enough how much I love you.” 

“You tell me so often.” You laughed, and Alexia smiled sadly down at you.

“Well, I need to tell you more.” She reiterated, leaning down to brush her lips to yours. “I love you.” She moved her lips to your cheek. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” She continued, pressing kisses to every inch of your face, repeating the words in between every kiss. When she pulled away, whispering a final I love you against your lips, you were quite sure that you believed her. And that you’d never felt more loved in your life.

-------

“Please come with me.” Mapi begged from the passenger seat. 

Ingrid smiled sympathetically. “No, this is something you need to do yourself.” 

“My sister gets to have her girlfriend there.” Mapi said grumpily. 

“Your sister’s girlfriend is part of the conversation.” 

Mapi sighed, turning slightly more serious. “Ingrid, I don’t know what to say.”

“You aren’t the one doing the talking yet, elskling. Hear them out. And then tell them what you think.” 

“Right. Okay. I can do this.” 

“You can do this.” Ingrid agreed, before unbuckling her girlfriend’s seatbelt for her, as it seemed she wasn’t quite going to take the first step. It was almost entertaining, watching Mapi move like a snail as she grabbed her phone and slowly, slowly, got out of the car. 

-------

“They’ve been in the driveway for like 7 minutes.” You noted, leaning your head on Alexia’s shoulder. 

She sipped her coffee, smiling slightly as she gazed out the window with you. “Maybe she is picking out the weapon she is going to kill me with.” 

“Don’t say that.” you groaned, wacking your girlfriend on the arm. 

“I am just kidding, amor. She isn't going to kill me, or you. It’s all going to be fine.” 

You didn’t say anything in response. All you could think was that you hoped to god she was right. 

------

You’d never seen Mapi so reserved, as she walked through Alexia’s door, and took a seat in the big armchair. You sat on the couch next to Alexia, much farther away than you would have normally sat next to her, but you were trying to ease your sister into this whole thing. 

It was awkwardly silent as you all sat looking at each other for a minute, none of you really knowing where to start or what to say. 

“How long?” Mapi asked eventually, fixing her gaze on Alexia. 

“A year.” You said quietly, the significant amount of time not making you feel any less guilty. 

“A year?” Mapi breathed, looking between the two of you incredulously. 

“A year last week.” Alexia confirmed. She shifted slightly, sliding her foot across the floor so that her sock squished against yours. Your girlfriend was nervous, you realized. 

“Why… why didn’t you tell me? I mean, I understand if this was new and you weren’t telling anyone, but it’s been a year. You’ve never dated anyone for longer than a month, hermanita, why would you keep this from me?” 

Alexia opened her mouth to reply, but you recognized the question was directed at you and your sister would not appreciate your girlfriend speaking for you. 

“At first, we just wanted to see where things were going. And then… I don’t know. It was just easier not to tell. We didn’t have to deal with anyone’s reactions or opinions that didn’t matter-”

“My opinion does not matter?” Mapi interjected, frowning sadly at you.

“Of course it does, María, I just… I wanted to decide this for myself. Without you being for it or against it, I wanted to decide how I felt about Alexia before anyone told me how I should feel.” You explained, relieved when your sister nodded slightly. 

“Me too.” Alexia tacked on, wincing slightly when you stomped on her foot a bit, though her face fell further when Mapi turned to her with a cold glare. 

“You have been keeping my sister a secret from everyone. Are you ashamed of her?” 

“María!” You yelped, looking horrified at her. 

Alexia remained calm, though, keeping steady eye contact with your sister. “No. She is the most important thing to me. We decided to keep it a secret together. I would have told the whole world that I loved her the minute I knew, if it would have made sense. People are still insane about me and Jenni, though, and I did not want her to get caught in the crossfire. It was just easier for both of us if no one knew.” 

Mapi looked slightly less angry now. 

“We were going to tell you. Next week at brunch, we were going to tell you, Mapi, I promise, this just happened first, and…” 

“What that girl said to her,” Mapi began, again looking at your girlfriend with a slightly accusatory expression. 

“Is false. Completely and entirely false. I want your sister, and her only. No one else.” Alexia spoke with conviction, and you felt a small smile on your face before you could stop it. 

Mapi nodded thoughtfully, then fixed her attention on you. “And you are happy?” 

“Yeah. I’m really happy, Mapi.” 

“And you? You are happy?” She asked, again looking at Alexia. 

“Happier than I’ve ever been in my life.” Your girlfriend said honestly, though you could see the tips of her ears turning slightly red; Alexia never had been good at expressing her feelings. 

“Okay then.” Mapi said. “If you are both happy, then I am happy.” 

“Really?” You asked, looking skeptically at your sister. She normally made things much more difficult than this. 

Mapi just rolled her eyes. “Of course. You are both adults, and I trust you. I don’t think many people are good enough for you, hermanita, but if anyone is… it’s Ale. I guess.” She added the last part when Alexia looked close to tears. They weren’t expressive friends, normally showing their appreciation for each other through actions rather than words. 

You stood, walking over to your sister and pulling her into a tight hug. “Thank you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, María, but I’m really really glad you know.”

“Yeah, yeah. I love you.” Mapi said gruffly, ruffling your hair like she used to do when you were much younger. As you flattened it back down with an annoyed look thrown at your sister, Alexia moved forward, pulling her best friend into a hug. 

When Mapi whispered in her ear, Alexia wasn’t surprised at all. “If you hurt her, I will tear you limb from limb, Putellas. I mean it.” 

Alexia knew she did. 

And she had every intention of never hurting you, for as long as she lived. The ring she’d brought way too soon that sat in her sock drawer was evidence of that. The baby names she sometimes thought of when she lay awake at night were evidence. The way she looked at you, though, like you lit up every corner of her life, was the best evidence. 

When Alexia tugged you into a hug next, Mapi knew from the way that her friend looked at you, that this was different. This was going to be forever. You were happy, and you were with her best friend, and there wasn’t much of a problem your sister could have with that. If you got married and changed your name to Putellas, though. That’s where she’d draw the line. 

------

hope you enjoyed 🙂

[changisworld]

“Why do you make me feel like this, pretty?”

fuckboy!hyunjin x reader

Word count; 5,902

Summary: After hyunjin took your virginity, you grew attached despite trying your hardest not to. You find out he hooked up with someone the day after it happened which broke your heart, making you cry.. but of course, hyunjin caught you crying. He didn’t really know what he felt, it being new to him, as he tries to refuse the silly ideas popping into his brain, he can’t ignore how much you being upset is making his heart.. hurt?? Surely he doesn’t like you too..?

18+ ONLY, MDNI, SMUT UNDER THE CUT.

©ANY translation, copy & paste, posting of my work is strictly forbidden for ANY posts/ writing i post.

main masterlist here

part 3 here

**This can be read on its own despite it probably being confusing but i highly recommend reading part 1!**

SMUT WARNINGS: spit/drool, PIV, needy reader, pet names, shyish reader, rimming( f rec), oral ( f rec), fingering (f rec), finger sucking, unprotected sex, jealous jinnie, edging???,pull out method, literally 1 spank, slight dacryphilia, jealous jinnie, soft jinnie, kind jinnie, hyunjins a tease obvs, slight aftercare, wayyy fluffier ending than last time you're welcome!!

You & Hyunjin walk off campus, you still hiding your face from him, embarrassed at the tears now staining your cheeks, your face tinged red, you also don't fail to miss the looks you & Hyunjin are receiving from other students walking past the both of you, his arm still around you & you can't help but feel judged, so you push his arm off.

"Forget the cafe, I'm just gonna go home, I feel.. sick. I'll see you later Hyunjin." you murmur, still not looking at him in the eye.

"Y/n stop being weird, just cmon. I promise to cheer you up." He replies back, reaching out to cup your cheek but you move your head before murmuring a quick 'bye' before walking away from him hastily, leaving him standing there, confused & a bit annoyed.

He watches as you turn the corner & he huffs before kicking a stone nearby. 'Why do I care she's actually upset? 'What did I do wrong?' 'I hope she's okay' & 'Shit how can I apologise' are all thoughts that race through his head, no matter how much he tries to shake it all off, he genuinely feels guilty. But why? He never feels sorry for the girls he fucks n chucks, so what makes it different? He barely even knows you? He only spoke to you for a week which is barely anything. He sighs before pulling out his phone & going onto his contacts, about to call Joy, another one of his side things, before deciding against it, instead calling his friend Jisung& asking to meet him.

⭑･ﾟﾟ･:༅｡.｡༅:ﾟ::✼✿　　✿✼:ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

Twenty minutes later Jisung meets him at the local dog walking park & they end up sitting on a bench, talking about random stuff before the topic of you comes up, but not because of Hyunjin.

“You’re lucky you got to partner up with y/n for that assignment, I got put with Changbin so obviously i fucking failed, tryna do that presentation on the spot was absolute torture, you still talk to her? she seems quiet as hell.” Han sighs, sipping his bubble tea through his straw & Hyunjin laughs.

“Ay! I actually helped her so shut up, just because you both have no more than eight brain cells, i’m just proof there is such a thing as looks & beauty. Nah, we haven’t really spoken since, just been busy i suppose & what the hell am i meant to say to her?” Hyunjin replies, a quick chuckle leaving his lips.

“What do you mean you’re proof that looks n beauty exist, y/n basically invented it you idiot. Wha'cha mean what are you meant to say to her? Did you fuck her too or something?" Han questions, leaning forward.

Hyunjin just kisses his teeth before nodding & Han just raises his eyebrows. "fuck, I didn't think someone like y/n would get around that way. Can you do me a favour n start speaking to her again n put in a good word about me I wanna approach her but she feels intimidating, you get me?" Once Hyunjin hears these words, a bad & gross feeling bubbles up in his stomach.. is what he feeling... jealousy?

"Uhh.. you're really not her type, she's not up for dating, she told me. Go try your luck with someone else." Hyunjin says in a bitter tone, not looking at the man in front of him & Han scoffs.

"You chat shit Hyunjin, stop gatekeeping! I'll just use my charms & trust me, we'll be fucking a week later n dating two weeks later." Jisung jokes, patting Hyunjins leg but he pushes it off.

"You're ridiculous Jisung, she won't want what's between your legs." Hyunjin spits out before standing up off the bench, stretching out & sighing. "I have things to do, you can keep day dreaming, I'll see you later. choke on your boba." Hyunjin jokes with Han & he spits out a bubble as a response before he walks away, leaving Han on the bench.

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He walks through the rest of the park, thinking about Hans words & he can't get over it. 'Why am I so jealous?' 'Who does he honestly think he is talking about y/n like that?' 'They wouldn't even look good together.' are things that keep racing through his head & he is getting more pissed off as the seconds go by.

He gets out of the park & he keeps walking on the pavement, not having an actual destination in mind.. until he seen you walking out of a random convenience store across the street & a lightbulb lights up behind his brown eyes.

He picks up the pace of his walk as he follows just far enough behind you on the other side of the road until you reach your apartment complex before entering & he can't help but feel like an absolute creep, but that doesn't stop him. He screenshots his location on find my Iphone, just so he won't forget where to go later on as he walks back the way he came, heading to the main line of shops near the campus.

He strolls around for around twenty minutes, looking at random little trinkets, bookmarks with the college logo on it, which he cringes at due to the look of it, before he keeps walking until he reaches a little florist shop.

He enters it, aimlessly walking around, fingertips grazing over a few roses & tulips, admiring the pretty colours as he sets his eyes on a bouquet of lillies. He picks it up, giving himself a better look at it before deciding he is happy with it, heading to the counter.

He places them down, not paying attention to the cashier as he looks at the little vases beside the register.

"Can I get this pink vase to- ohh, I didn't know you worked here Jennie, hiya." he says, surprised. "Sure. You know, Lisa doesn't like lillies, I suggest you get her daffodils, her favourite colour being yellow n all." she responds, smiling up at him. "Ah, they.. they're not for Lisa so I'll pass. Can you fill up the vase with a bit of water too? I think that's what you're supposed to do, right?" he says quickly, hand coming up to the back of his neck, the awkwardness filling the small space.

"mhmm. £29.11 is the total." She says in a cold voice, taking the tag off the vase as she turns around to the small sink, filling up the vase 1/3 of the way. She dumps the bouquet in the vase with no care at all before pushing it towards him, giving him the card machine. He pays, a strained, awkward smile on his face before saying thank you & leaving.

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After buying you a box of chocolates & a Vanilla bean smelling candle & following the path you walked on earlier, he ends up back outside your apartment complex.

He sits on the front steps, waiting for someone to leave the building so he can catch the door & once he is inside, he begins knocking on every door, talking to each person who answers in a quiet voice, Ignoring the confused looks of other students who recognise him who are all definitely wondering why he is knocking doors looking for you, making sure you wouldn't hear him & then refuse to open the door.

He reaches the fourth floor, mouth slightly dry from all the talking he has had to do & he is beginning to doubt his memory. He knocks on the third door & takes a step back, waiting for an answer as he hears footsteps & he can't help the smile that spreads across his face as you are the one who open the door.

"Surprise, & I'm not just talking about my pretty face. Can I come in?" he chirps as he raises his arms, making sure you see what he has brought despite it being almost all you can see, not missing the chance to give you an up & down look, you wearing black tight shorts & an oversized off the shoulder graphic shirt.

"Hyunjin, I told you I was sick.. How the hell do you know where I live?" you question, honestly just confused. "Does that matter? I asked a question, Don't leave me standing here I went to like twenty doors to find you!" he pouts. You roll your eyes & begin to shut the door but Hyunjin stops it with his foot.

"Okay okay okay! I followed you, but not in a creepy way I swear! I just wanted to.. apologise? But I knew you would ghost me If I text you." he says in a sulky voice. You groan before opening the door back open, his pretty face poking through the gap. "You are a creep, you know that? Why you apologising?" you question him, crossing your arms, not amused but slightly flattered despite not showing it.

"I'm not going to broadcast my deep, heart warming words in the corridor for everyone to hear, just let me inside, pleaseee." he pouts again & you just sigh before moving out of the way so he can enter, taking his shoes off as soon as they touch your laminate flooring.

You walk into your connected living room & kitchen before sitting on your corner kitchen counter, your legs swinging off it as Hyunjin follows behind you, looking around at the cute random decorations hung up on your walls & on the mantle pieces.

He places the flowers on your coffee table before walking back into your small kitchen & leaning on the opposite counter top, still holding the chocolates & candle.

"Okay, Can I give you my apology now? I rehearsed this to make sure I get everything right." He tries to joke but you just look at him with a blank expression before nodding, encouraging him to continue. "Okay, I didn't realise how much I've upset you & I'm sorry for not trying to check up on you sooner & stopped speaking to you. I partially didn't even mean to ghost you but I also genuinely thought you wouldn't speak to me anymore since you're always so concentrated on lessons & studying, I thought you would have thought I was getting in your way. I'm also sorry for fucking with that girl & you overheard it, if I'm genuinely being honest, I did it to try wipe my mind of you. I know what we did is a huge thing & it was wrong of me to have acted the way I did, if i'm being honest, this was the first time I did what we did so I just didn't really know how to act, but I'm genuinely sorry y/n. Chocolates?"

He blurts out, not taking his eyes off you as he feels his cheeks go hot, the nerves & also the way you're looking at him making him flustered. You both sit in silence for a minute, him waiting for a response & you thinking of a response.

"Gimme the box & light the candle for me, second drawer to your right n you will find a lighter. If you felt like this all week, You've still had seven days to come n tell me this but instead you've let me feel like shit for a week, this was the exact reason I was unsure to do it with you Hyunjin, in fear something like this would have happened & instead of just growing a pair & talking to me, you fuck someone else to just try forget?" You reply, your voice getting a bit shaky without meaning it, the feelings of it all hitting you again.

Hyunjin listens as he digs into his pocket & pulling out his own lighter & lighting it before putting it on the counter & he walks the few steps over to you, handing you the chocolate before standing right in front of you, leaning his hands on the counter on the outside of your legs, caging you in.

"Please y/n, don't think like that. I know I should have swallowed my pride n apologised earlier, I was just trying to convince myself I didn't give a fuck but I do, hence why I'm here. I honestly think you used those crystals & manifested this or something." he mumbles the last part, looking away from you, his ears going red after hearing his words out loud & your legs stop swinging as you pause at his words.

"What do you mean you actually give a fuck? What are you trying to say." you reply back, resisting the urge to reach out & stroke his hair. Hyunjin sighs & shakes his head. "Don't make me spit it out y/n, It's just gonna sound like a lie to you." You get an anxious feeling in your belly before taking his chin & guiding him to look back up at you. "Hyunjin, just say it, it's only me here anyway. Just say what you gotta say." you respond in a quiet but firm voice, honestly scared.

He doesn't have much option but to look at you as he lets himself melt into your hand lightly before taking a deep breath. "I.. care about you? I don't know, it feels weird but like... I genuinely felt like shit after how I treated you n i've tried to bury it but it just won't leave, I don't really know what it is about you n honestly it scares me." he says in a quiet, quick tone & your jaw drops.

You just freeze as you both just look at each other in complete silence not including the quiet crackling of the candle & your living room clock ticking. Hyunjin can't bare the awkwardness anymore as he gets shy for the first time in years, moving his arms to stand completely upright but you pull him in by the shirt to hug him, tears threatening to leave your eyes as his arms wrap around you in return.

"This better not be some sort of sick joke Hyunjin or i swear I'll kill you, you're gonna boost my ego to a fraction of what yours is." you half laugh as he nuzzles his face into your neck, inhaling your sweet smell. "It's not, dead serious. You're just different n I don't know how to feel about it, stop casting spells to make me attached to you. I've been itching to ask to see you all week, I wish I wasn't being so stubborn." he muffles into your neck, moving his head side to side slightly, his nose tickling your neck, making you lean more into him, chuckling at his stupid joke.

"Stop with the silly magic jokes, you're ridiculous. I want to say you're not forgiven since you need to prove to me you're not talking out your ass but I do accept your indeed heart warming apology & I appreciate it just more than the flowers n chocolate." you say in a soft voice & you feel Hyunjin smile against your neck before he moves & kisses the tip of your nose, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"That's what I wanted to hear, I wouldn't be able to handle it if you had told me to fuck off, my first ever rejection coming from the first person I've ever bought a present for that isn't my mom." You chuckle at this before hopping off the counter, grabbing the box of chocolates that were staring at you.

"Rejection? You tryna say you like meee?" you tease, taking his hands before swaying them back & forth & he rolls his eyes, chuckling. "Was it not kinda obvious? I wanted to say it without directly saying it in case I embarrassed myself but... yeahhh I have a tiny crush, I think you made us soul tied or something." you just 'tut' at his remark but your face goes bright red at his confession, cheeks hurting from how much you're smiling.

"I'm touched. Got thee famous playboy hwang Hyunjin to like like me, not sure if it's a surprise but I like you too." You kiss his cheek before leading him to the couch as you sit on it, him flopping next to you. "Enough of the soppy talk for now or I'll get embarrassed, you can choose a movie while I get us a blanket." He just nods & you hand him the box of chocolates & he begins opening them as you scurry to your room to get your favourite fluffy blankets.

⭑･ﾟﾟ･:༅｡.｡༅:ﾟ::✼✿　　✿✼:ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

You both end up watching a recommended Netflix romcom suggestion, both of you devouring your chocolates but you pay no mind to it.

Some point throughout, your legs end up swung over his as your head lays against his shoulder, him stroking your hair with one hand as the other hand caresses your thigh.

Every few minutes or so, you focus less on the movie & more on his touch as his hand slowly rises up your leg, then your thigh & his hand is now grazing against your inner thigh over your tight shorts, giving you goosebumps, which he doesn't miss.

This continues up until Hyunjin repositions himself, pushing your legs off him so he can lay down over your thighs, his view now sideways of the TV, not that he cares, not paying the slightest bit of attention anyway as you momentarily tense up beneath him.

You continue stroking his hair, sometimes digging your fingers into his scalp a bit to scratch it, making him let out a satisfied hum. You can't help but keep looking down at the beautiful man laying on you & you can't help but smile to yourself.

As if he can feel your eyes burning into his skull, he moves the blanket down your legs enough to expose your legs enough for him to begin planting little pecks on them, slightly tickilish but you don't miss the wetness now pooling under your shorts. "Stop teasing Hyune." you speak up, your voice quiet & he just chuckles.

"If you don't want me to tease, I won't complain if you lay back." he replies, not bothering to look up at you as his hand reaches to squeeze your thigh softly as he keeps giving your legs kisses, suckling at them slightly,

You think about what he says & you would be stupid to deny the chance, your pussy clenching around nothing. You lightly push his head up off you & he takes the hint, moving & you push the side of his arm, towards the edge of the couch & he looks at you slightly confused but does what he thinks you're hinting at, getting onto the floor right in front of you, looking up at you with his pretty eyes.

You give him a shy smile before you take it upon yourself to wriggle your shorts & underwear off, leaving your bottom half completely nude, biting your lip in anticipation.

"You really got this desperate since last time I saw you?" he teases & you put your hand in front of your cunt, covering it with how shy you've just started feeling but he is quick to pull it back off, looking at the small shimmer on your middle finger before licking it off in one go.

"Don't be shy, gorgeous. I've been just as desperate if not more, can I get a taste?" he says in a sweet voice, not looking away from you, stars in his eyes. "Please.. If you want to." you respond, hiding your face in your hands but he reaches up & swats your hands away yet again as his other hand begins to slowly drag through your folds, making your hips buck.

"Stop hiding, where's your confidence gone hmm? Do I make you that nervous? trust me, there's nothing I want more." he leans in & kisses right next to your lip before smirking at you & sinking back down onto the floor, blowing cold air onto your now soaking cunt, making your legs tense up & he tongues his cheek as he watches your face twitch.

He spreads your folds open, getting a better view of your hole, clenching around nothing before he licks a long, slow strip from your hole to the top of your clit, letting out a low groan in the process. "Taste better than anything y/n, I fucking swear." he says as he looks up at you for a split second. "eyes on me, if you look away I'll stop." he voices before digging in.

You do as he says & make eye contact with him as his mouth latches onto your cunt as he begins letting spit roll off his tongue, mixing with your juices just before slurping it back up, not afraid to make as much noise as the mixes of juices allow.

You weave your hand in his hair & play with his hair & scratch his scalp for him as he suctions his tongue onto your swollen button, both of you groaning at the same time.

"Hyune, so good" you whimper out, your breath shaky as your eyes struggle to stay open & you feel Hyunjin smile against you. He brings his fingers up to your clit before rubbing it in a steady rhythm as he lets go of before his tongue find its way into your opening before beginning to tongue fuck you & you throw your head back, your moans now louder than the TV still playing behind the both of you, your legs now closing around his head, not that he pays attention to that anyway, if anything he is enjoying it.

You begin to clench around his tongue which he remembers is your tell tail sign you're about to orgasm, your moans getting higher pitched & your grip on his hair getting tighter & he chooses to worm his tongue out of your hole before pinching your clit between his two fingers & dropping a glob of spit to it before giving it one more lick, smirking.

"I wanna try something I think you might like, turn over so you're facing your back to me, hunny." You huff at the beginning of a future orgasm beginning to appear suddenly bubbling away but you do as he says, slightly confused.

You get up on your knees & rest your elbows on the back of the couch, you now looking at the wall behind you. "Why am I fac-" you're cut off as Hyunjin spreads your cheeks & begins fondling them as he begins suckling on your pussy from behind, letting out a satisfied hum behind you as you begin kneading the couch until your fingers begin to ache, biting your lip to try hold back moans.

"G-gonna cum Hyunjin, keep g-going." you whimper, pushing yourself into his face, seeking even more from him if it's even possible & he gives you a quick slap on your ass as he removes himself from your cunt again, much to his own displeasure.

"Don't bite your lip y/nnie, I wanna hear you fully, Mkay?" he speaks from behind you as you yelp at the impact & he hums as he keeps kneading your ass, giving it a few kisses. "Your ass is to die for, you know that? Gonna taste it." Before you can even process what he says, your mind too full of lust to understand, he is letting a glob of spit fall past his lips & it landing right on your tightest hole.

You try jerk your hips away from him but he is quicker & pulls you back to him, keeping a tighter grip on your ass, keeping it spread as his tongue begins to graze over your pretty pucker, his eyes scrunching together as he smiles against you, tongue now drawing patterns on it as he lets go of one of your ass cheeks, going down to your leaking cunt again before entering two fingers, instantly finding the same G-spot that made you orgasm only a week or so ago.

Your hips buck at the new sensation & you let out a long mewl, letting your face fall onto the back of the couch as your knuckles turn white from how hard you're clenching on it.

Your pretty hole is clenching & pulsating on his tongue as he lets out a deep growl at your taste, so different compared to your cunt but still enjoyable, you're moans getting to an even higher pitch as his tongue enter inside you, swirling around as much as the tight ring will allow.

"Hyun- please l-let me cum, s-so- fuck!" you basically scream out, not even being able to find the strength to lift your head up to look at the man behind you as your pussy & ass clench around his fingers & tongue but right before you cum, Hyunjin pulls completely away, again & your legs shake from the painful pleasure of yet another stolen orgasm.

Hyunjin leans over so his clothed chest is touching your back & he tilts your head so he can see your pretty face & he sees your now tear soaked cheeks & your pretty, glossy eyes.

"Awww, pretty girl couldn't contain their tears, could you? I promise you can cum now, I don't have a condom on me though beautiful so do you just want my fingers hmm? or my tongue?" he questions as he strokes your now damp hair out of your face, pouting at you.

"J-just fuck me Hyune, j-just pull out." you whiimper back to him, your breath so unstable it's difficult to even push the words out. Hyunjin opens his mouth to re ask you, just to make sure he is hearing things right but you wiggle your naked ass against him & he bucks his hips before just nodding before kissing your shoulder & then shimmying his pants & underwear down, freeing his pretty cock.

He spits onto his cock, pumping it into his hand a few times, letting out a hushed groan before he aligns his tip with your pussy, rubbing himself against it a few times to coat his tip in your juices before prodding his tip against your hole, before pushing just the tip inside.

"I'm still gonna be gentle, it's only your second time, tell me if this position is uncomfortable." he speaks behind you & as you mumble out an 'okay' while your face now being mushed against the cushion again, he pushes his hips forward very slowly until he buries himself to the hilt, you both letting out a moan in unison.

He stills inside you, trying to not cum instantly from how hot your walls feel without the restriction of the condom he wore last time, his hands coming to rest on your hips as he waits for your signal to continue.

Your breath staggers as he pushes forward, the stretch being a bit painful but no way near as painful as last time & after a minute or so, you push yourself on his cock experimentally, making you both hiss.

"You- please move, mak-make me cum Hyune, p-please." you elongate the last word, turning your head to the side so he can actually hear you. He takes a deep breath & pulls out half way before pushing back in, the both of you letting out a whine as his balls slap against your clit, making it even more intense for you.

Hyunjin sets a steady rhythm, lightly using the tips of his finger nails to add sensation to your back, tickling it but also feeling nice as you know it will leave those pretty little red marks later on. Both of your moans & whines fill the small apartment, not even thinking about how your neighbours can one hundred percent hear you.

"Y/n yo-you're too tight, s-so warm." he breathes out, lifting his leg & standing it on the couch for a better angle as he keeps rutting into you, leaning over your back again to kiss your cheek, your moans going straight into his ears.

"To- so big hy-hyune, pleas-e lemme c-cum." you whimper, your eyes scrunching closed, the ends of Hyunjins hair tickling your face as he begins to nibble on your earlobe, your cunt clenching impossibly tight around his cock, almost suffocating it.

"c-cum with me baby, h-hold on for me." he groan back as he tilts his neck into an uncomfortable position just so he can kiss your lips. His tongue instantly enters your mouth & you suckle on it, tasting the remaining taste of your juices from what he hasn't already repeatedly swallowed, making you moan in content.

Hyunjin speeds up his pace slightly & your G-spot loves this, making your legs almost give out on the spot as your brain turns into mush. "I-in my s-stomach Hyun-deep." you babble out against his lips, barely even knowing your own name at this point.

As Hyunjin stands back upright after giving your shoulder a few pecks, his phone begins to ring. Your eyes spot his phone on the other end of the couch, where he was sitting earlier but he reaches over & declines it before shutting his phone completely off, throwing it to the side, his pace not slowing once.

You don't bother questioning it, instead focusing on the noises of your slick & his balls connecting together mixed with the sweat of the both of you, sloppy clapping noises of your skin connecting filling the room, your legs begin to give out as Hyunjin worms his fingers down to your clit yet again before rubbing it frantically.

"In your s-stomach hmm? You can cum for me angel, n-not gonna last, too w-wet n tight." he squabbles, breathing frantically & this i all you need to hear as your entire body tenses up as finally, your orgasm hits you like a brick wall & you let out a squeal & Hyunjin has to grip onto your hips as his life depend on it in order for you to not flop & slip off the couch.

Your noises & the way your pussy flutters around him is just too much for him to handle & as much as he doesn't want to, he pulls himself out of your wet, hot walls as his cum spurts down your ass & back, throwing his head back as his cock quite literally pulsates as his balls empty, a high pitched whimper leaving his lips, breathing staggered.

He comes back to his body quicker than you do & he helps reposition you so you're fully laying on the couch, trying to make sure his cum doesn't get onto any other surface.

He grabs his underwear & wipes the cum off your back in a comfortable silence, slightly twitching as he wipes it off. He leans over your back again before kissing your earlobe. "Did so well, so proud of you, still so pretty for me despite being sticky with sweat." you both weakly laugh as you turn onto your back before using the ounce of strength you have left to pull on his wrist.

"cuddle." is all you say as you pull on him until he lays on top of you, half his weight dangling off the arm of the couch as he lays his head on your chest, listening to your still racing heartbeat & he can't help but feel secure.

⭑･ﾟﾟ･:༅｡.｡༅:ﾟ::✼✿　　✿✼:ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

You both sit like this for a while, talking to one another about what you both spoke about in a bit more detail & also just talk to each other about things you don't know about one another, things like family pets, favourite colours, favourite brands etc.

Hyunjin ends up powering his phone back on & you are both just scrolling through his for you page, when you remember his phone ringing. "Quick question hyune, who was it that called you? If it was important you coulda stopped to answer." you ask him, not lifting your eyes from the video playing on his phone screen, not really thinking too much of it.

"Don't stress it, it was just someone I'm not gonna be speaking to anymore." he replies in s tired voice, still scrolling. His reply slightly confusing you. "Who? I don't mean to be nosey or anything but now i'm curious." you respond back, your fingers in his hair now pausing.

Without saying anything, he switches apps, onto his call log & it's Lisas name at the top.. nineteen missed calls. He just sighs as he presses on the 'more' option before deleting her number & deleting the Imessage conversation without even bothering to read her spam of texts, yelling, crying & cussing him out before switching apps back onto tiktok without saying a word & you just blush, your hands cupping his cheeks from above, your thumbs just below his eyes.

"You're cute." you say as you squeeze them playfully & he just 'tut's but still, he melts himself into your touch.

I'm not completely sure if I want to leave this story as a two parter orrrrrr do a third n final part but to everyone wanting a happier ending here you all are!

Tags: @troublemaker02 @ismokeeweed @lmhcats @isagerada @tsunderelino

[princessbrunette]

bunny!reader didn’t like being bad. infact, bunny!reader was bad at being bad.

“you slammin’ my doors now, huh? is that — is that what we’re doin’?” his voice booms through the hallway, and you regret it as soon as you’d happened to shut rafe’s bedroom door with just a tad too much attitude.

you wouldn’t call it a dispute, moreso you complaining. you’d gotten into trouble, purely over a misunderstanding on your part. barry had told you that he was your friend, and that you were welcome over to his place to hang out anytime. betrayed by your own naivety, you believed him — which lead to rafe all but dragging your ass back to tannyhill.

he doesn’t yell when he swings the door open, controlling himself. he knows deep down you didn’t mean any harm by it — so instead of spiralling out, he sucks in a breath, closing his eyes for a moment as he lifts a hand in thought.

“just… talk to me, alright? i need you to tell me you understand why you can not be friends with barry.” he stresses, opening his eyes wide to step towards you slowly, moving extra carefully because of the way your lip wobbled, body frozen up.

“i don’t want to talk.” you mewl, resisting the urge to thump your foot. you were never bratty, so he was allowing you some space — he had his limits though. rafe leans on his hip, holding his hand up again in despair.

“well, what — you want the belt, then? will that make you talk?” he shook his head, exasperated and you shake your head with a whimper. “okay then, so…?” he prompts.

“i just don’t understand. you’re the one who told me i should make some more friends!” you argue, voice high pitched and upset.

“yeah i meant girls at the country club, kid. not the god damn dealer i work with.” he drawls in response, blinking a couple of times like it’s obvious.

you hug your arms, feeling very silly about the whole thing as you shrink a little in stature. “i just thought that if we became friends with the same person… we could all hang out together. get to be around you more…” you bleat and he stressfully smooths his brow down with the pads of his fingers.

“thats not how it works.”

“well i’m sorry! barry is the one that said he wanted to be my friend!”

he tongues at his cheek for a moment before closing in on you, an irritated squint occupying his glare. “you really think he wants to be your friend? huh? nah, no really — really think about it baby.” he’s right infront of you, lightly tapping your temple to punctuate his word choice. rafe places a hand on your shoulder, bending to your level so he can look you properly in the eyes, forehead creasing in exertion. “i say this because i care about you, alright — he wants to fuck you. because — because that makes me look bad, right? and… and he’s always looking for ways to get back at me and plus you’re always sitting there with your fuckin’ titties hanging out your shirt so yeah, baby. he wants to fuck you.”

he lets go of you to pace, annoyed. you watch as he runs a hand over his jaw and you sniffle quietly. “oh.”

“yeah.” he speaks before glancing at you. he can see how upset the whole thing has made you, so he reluctantly starts back towards you with a sigh. “look. it’ll be easy for you to make some actual, female friends. okay? you’re a good girl. you’re — you’re kind and sweet and patient and they’d be lucky to have you.” he cups the back of your head before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“am i your friend rafe?” you peer up at him, so innocently and earnestly that it takes him back.

“y— what?”

“are we friends? together?” you blink.

“you’re my girlfriend.” he speaks like it’s obvious.

“mhm, but are we friends too?”

he itches his cheek, never having really thought about it before. honestly, he didn’t really see it that way — but maybe that was because rafe cameron didn’t really have female friends. not before you and certainly not after you. it just didn’t interest him. aside from wanting to rip your clothes off 24/7, the boy did surprisingly just enjoy being in your company. so, he licks his parted lips and nods.

“that what you want? yeah, kid. i’m your friend. okay?” he swipes his thumbs beneath your eyes, collecting the mascara that had pooled beneath. “now stop crying.”

[bonbongiveshell]

The mystery anon from yesterday is back one more time, because I had sent you a third message that you never responded back to. Could I ask why? Or had you not received it?

I just didn't have anything else to say on the matter, really

[mr-ribbit]

gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.

i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.

to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community

to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.

so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue

"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"

I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.

"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"

I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.

there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?

there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic

also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.

"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"

they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?

also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????

and another thing:

it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?

focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.

especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.

[simjaexy]

I’m Yours

Pairing ⇀ Jealous bf! Lee Heeseung x Fem! Reader

Synopsis ⇀ Sometimes Heeseung gets jealous a little too much when you talk to other guys or when they flirt with you, so you have to remind him that you belong to him.

Genre ⇀ Smut, a little Angst

Warnings ⇀ MINORS DNI!!!, Jealousy, Cursing, Humiliation, Heeseung is a bit toxic? and possessive, Making out, Sucking, Pussy slapping, Choking, Mean Dom! Heeseung x Sub! Reader, Crying, Multiple orgasms (f), Overstimulation (f), Grinding, Pussy eating, Slapping, Pain kink, Breeding kink, Hair pulling, Dirty Talking

A/n ⇀ I may or may not write this at 3 am in the morning cause I felt like I didn’t post for a while 😀 Not proofread!

Masterlist here

If there was one thing Heeseung knew about himself, it was that he had a bad habit of being over possessive of you.

It wasn’t his intention to make you feel like you have a bodyguard 24/7, it was just a simple way showing that he loved you.

But standing here, Heeseung can’t stand how the cashier was freely flirting with you. You, being a kind person, was smiling and laughing at his jokes when they aren’t even funny.

Heeseung hated it. You told him to stay there but god he can’t do it if that cashier is looking at you like that. Heeseung clenched his jaw to stop himself from going over there.

You soon grabbed the two drinks and went back to Heeseung, giving him your pretty smile, “We can go now Hee. Sorry for the wait.”

He wanted to go up there and tell that guy to stay away from you, but instead he got up and took your wrist and led you out the shop.

As you two walked you noticed Heeseung was acting strange, only saying a few words to you when you ask a question. You couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong.

You both stopped at another shop for your clothing. When you guys walked in your immediately dragged him to the shorts. Heeseung watched you choose out a different pairs of shorts.

He had a small smile on his lips when he noticed you would gasp when you saw one that was better than the other.

You went to the door to try on the shorts. Shutting the door with a click. Heeseung waited outside, casually scrolling through his phone.

Once you came out you saw Heeseung on his phone, “What do you think Hee?”

He looked up and felt his jaw drop. The shorts were really short, your ass barely hanging out. Heeseung didn���t know what to say, his mouth going dry, “It looks great.”

You smiled and twirled, yeah, he could definitely see your ass. What he can also see is the damn employee checking you out.

He wanted to say something, punch the guy in the face, but he knew you would be embarrassed and upset. So instead he glared at the employee and turned back to you, “Change out of it.”

You stopped moving and stared at Heeseung confused. Did he not like it that much? You slowly nodded and went back inside, changing into a new pair.

Heeseung turned back to the guy, this time the guy noticed and quickly looked away. You came out a few seconds later and showed him the skirt.

Heeseung smiled, “It looks beautiful on you baby.”

You blushed, “Thanks Hee. I think I’ll just get this one then, the other one kinda look too much.”

Heeseung eyebrows furrow, “You can wear whatever you want. I can fight.”

Your eyes widened before you giggled, “Okay Hee, I’ll get both!”

You grabbed both of them and went to the cashier. Heeseung took out his wallet and handed the cashier his cash.

He grabbed the bag and walked out the store with you hand in hand, not you noticing how Heeseung shoulder bumping a guy roughly.

“You think this dress looks good?” You asked Heeseung. You both were getting ready for a dinner date. You were wearing a black dress with jewelry. You looked ethereal to Heeseung.

You told Heeseung at first that you didn’t want him to waste money for this date, but he reassured that you can run his money dry and he’d apologize for not having enough.

“You look beautiful baby.” He said. You smiled. Heeseung stood up and pecked your lips.

He was a lovesick idiot when it came to you.

Heeseung opened the car door for you and went inside with you clinging to his side. Upon entering the expensive restaurant, you were welcomed with a waitress and smiled.

They led you to a table that was close to a big window. Heeseung went over to pull a chair out for you and sat across from you.

You both chatted about things, laughing occasionally coming through. A waiter soon came, flashing a bright smile, “Hello, what can I get for you guys?”

You and Heeseung looked at the menu, with Heeseung saying both of your orders. The waiter grabbed the menu from Heeseung hand and grabbed your too.

Heeseung noticed the waiter fingers brush slightly against yours. He tensed and waited until the waiter left, “I don’t like that guy.”

You sipped your drink confused, “Why? He seemed pretty nice.”

Heeseung shocked his head, it was your date, he wasn’t gonna let his jealousy get to him, “You’re right, I don’t know why I said that.”

He grabbed your hand across the table, squeezing it. You gave him a shy smile.

The same waiter soon came later and set your plates across you guys, “I hope you enjoy your food.”

He said, but he wasn’t looking at Heeseung. He was looking at you. Heeseung gave him a hostile look. You cleared your throat and gave him a nervous smile.

You could practically feel Heeseungs aura from across the table, “T-Thanks. Me and my boyfriend will enjoy our food.”

The waiter gave you a wink before walking away. You glanced at Heeseung, feeling yourself feel intimidated, “Are you okay Heeseung?” You muttered.

You rubbed his hand. He felt somewhat calm, but that bastard completely ignoring pissed him off, “I’m fine. Just eat your food.”

You slowly let go of his hand and began eating your food, the silence suffocating you. You watched Heeseung also eating his food, but it was obvious he was still pissed.

About a few minutes the waiter came back, this time he had a whole another different confidence, “How is your food?”

Before you could talk Heeseung cut you off, “It’s a bit bland, couldn’t you guys do any better?”

You stared at Heeseung in shock. What was he doing? It was obvious the waiter was completely taken a back with the comment.

“What’s wrong with it?” The waiter asked.

Heeseung set his fork down, “Let me rephrase what I said, it was good until I saw your face. You made me lose my appetite.“

“Heeseung!” You said. You looked over at the waiter guilty, “I’m sorry, I don’t know why-“

“We don’t need to apologize for nothing.” He said to you. You immediately shut your mouth. He then looked back at the waiter, “If I were you, I’d never show my face to anyone. You make them lose an appetite.”

You suddenly got up, “Heeseung enough!”

Heeseung looked at you, suddenly feeling guilt. Realization suddenly came back to him that you guys were in a public area.

He watched you grab your purse and walked away, leaving Heeseung with the waiter. “Fuck.” He muttered before getting up too, pushing the waiter away.

He ran outside to see you walking to the car, “Y/n wait!” He shouted. You stopped walking and looked over at him, tears pricking your eyes.

“Fuck baby — I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” He muttered. Him cupping your face, you rubbed your face against his palm.

“Heeseung this was supposed to be our night.” You mumbled. Heeseung mentally slapped himself when he heard the sob that came out.

“I know baby I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know why I did that I was just-“

“Jealous?” You cut him off. Heeseung slowly nodded his head. You let out a sigh, “ Hee you should know that I love you and only you. No one else.”

“I know baby I just can’t help it. I hate seeing guys look at you sexually, I hate that they think they could talk to you.” He said. You kissed his hand tenderly.

“I know, and I’m sorry for being oblivious to it.” You said. He shook his head.

You both walked to the car and drove back home.

Heeseung took off his jacket and hanged it up while you took off your heels. You watched Heeseung stretch and noticed his V line. You bit your lip.

How does Heeseung think you’ll ever leave him when he’s literally everyone dream boyfriend? Including you. He’s a gentleman, he’s kind, but what you mostly like is how good he is in bed.

So, you slowly walked towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist. Heeseung looked over at you confused.

“Why are you jealous all the time Heeseung? You should know you’re the only one.” You suddenly said. Heeseung turned to you.

“I know and I’m sorry-“ You cut him off and smashed your lips against his. You wrapped your arms around his neck and moaned. Heeseung immediately kissed back.

He tapped your thigh and you jumped up. You wrapped your legs around him as he walked you both to your guys shared bedroom.

You slowly set you on the bed and got up, unbuttoned his shirt. You watched him intensely while biting your lip. God, he was so hot.

He lowered and began sucking on your neck while you rubbed his back, throwing your head back. He fondled with your boobs and pinched them causing you to whine.

He went under your dress and rubbed your cloth clit. You opened your legs more to give him access. He went inside your underwear and rubbed your folds. You let out a cry at the pleasure and grin on his hand.

“Fuck — you wanna get fucked don’t you? Want me to let my anger out on you?” He said. You frantically nodded your head. His words making your pussy ache for dick.

He suddenly let go and unzipped his pants with one of his hands wet. He took out his hard dick and groaned. The tip being red with pre cum leaking out of it.

He hissed as he grabbed it and stroked it. He put his dick right on top of your cloth clit, rubbing it up and down. You whined when he suddenly grind down on you.

“Seungie-“

“Shut the fuck up. Sometimes I don’t think you’re oblivious when guys stare at you. You just wanna find ways to get fucked.” He snapped. You shook your head, your eyes pricking with tears not feeling his dick in you.

“That’s not true-“

“Then why the fuck do you let them? Or do you just like the attention.” He muttered in your ear. You cried out when he suddenly slapped your pussy.

His harsh words with the stinging pain made you feel even more aroused than you ever been, “Heeseung I can’t-“

“Can’t what? Take it? Well that’s too fucking bad. You’re gonna take what I give you.” He said. He suddenly ripped your underwear and lifted your legs over his shoulders.

You let out a loud scream when you suddenly felt his hot tongue dipping in your dripping pussy. You squeezed around his head trying to back away from the pleasure, but Heeseung held you down.

He harshly slapped your thigh making you obediently try to stay still, only letting out cries and moans. He sucked on your pussy like he was starving. Prodding at your whole before dipping his whole tongue in.

You felt your orgasm coming and shook, “Seungie I’m gonna-“ You didn’t get to say anything before you felt a wave of pleasure wash over you.

Your legs shook against Heeseungs head as he continued kicking up your cum. You tapped his head weakly. He looked up and grinned.

Your face flushed with your makeup now ruined. Dry tears on your cheek as new ones came down. Your lips puffy with your mouth parted.

He licked his lips and took his dick. Without even saying anything he slammed his dick into you making you arch your back beautifully. He didn’t start at a slow pace, instead he full on rammed into you at a fast pace.

Your mouth flew slack as a loud moan was let out. He gripped your neck with one hand and groaned at how tight your pussy was, “Shit baby, so fucking tight and we fucked yesterday.”

You whined when he grind deep in your pussy. You would never get tired of that. You felt another orgasm coming, you grabbed Heeseungs face and kissed him.

He bit your lip and stuck his tongue hue inside your mouth. You moaned as your orgasm came crashing into you. He slowed down his thrust before fully pulling out.

Just as you thought he was done, he flipped you over on your stanch before lifting your hips up and re-entering your wet pussy. You didn’t have the energy to continue and tried to crawl away, only with him yanking you back down on his dick.

The only thing you could do was take it like a good bitch you were, “Fuck, take it slut.” Heeseung said.

The only noise you let out were whimpers and groans. The pain and pleasure mixing together so good. Heeseung suddenly felt his orgasm coming. He lowered his hand to your bud and rubbed it.

You jerked forward and let out a whine, “Seungie please-“

He cut you off by pulling your hair making you look up, “This is what you fucking get. Deal with it.” He rasped out.

You felt so humiliated and turned on at the same time. The sound of complete wet skin slapping and moans were only heard.

“I’m gonna breed this fucking pussy. Make sure everyone knows you’re mine.” He said. You nodded your head, too fucked out to respond anymore.

He gave three more thrust before he finally filled you up with his cum. You let out a sigh when he slowly slipped out. Spurts of his cum coming out of you.

Both of you were panting hard. Heeseung suddenly got up and went to the bathroom and came back with. wet rag. “Stay still baby.”

He slowly wiped your pussy making you whine in pain. He kissed your head once he finished. You lay down on the bed with Heeseung coming back, laying next to you.

“Did I go too rough?” He asked. You shook your head and smiled.

“I didn’t know you had that in you.” You joked. He chuckled and rubbed your cheek.

“Well now you know.”

You smiled and cuddled against him. Maybe you won’t get him jealous again, or maybe you will.

[crimeronan]

i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!

(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)

listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.

but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!

you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it

BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.

so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.

MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun

future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.

i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)

sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.

here we go:

compersion!

compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.

compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.

by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.

i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.

it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.

(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)

if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.

metamours!

a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.

the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.

there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.

the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."

(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)

of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)

open versus closed polyamorous relationships!

i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown

google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).

this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.

an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.

some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!

with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.

i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.

feelings for multiple people!

i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.

a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.

this is perfectly fine!

the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.

for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"

some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!

some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)

or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)

i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.

like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?

that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it

alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?

it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.

i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad

first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:

how does each pair act when alone?

how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?

are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?

(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)

what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?

what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?

how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?

doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.

those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope

then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?

but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!

a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.

(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")

AND FINALLY.

if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)

you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.

polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.

seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.

in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.

[notafunkiller]

not made of glass

Summary: After shopping for your Christmas tree and running into an old acquaintance, Bucky's mood completely changes.

Pairing: director!Bucky Barnes x actress!reader

Warnings: 18+, age gap (r is 24, Bucky is 36), degrading, praising, chokíng, teasing, dirty talk, language, pet names, come eating, jealousy, a little metal arm kínk, daddy kínk, no condom (but they are both clean and r is on birth control), implied aftercare, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 3.3K

story masterlist

Bucky Barnes masterlist

A/N: An extra thank you @lavenderhaze967​ for her help and support!

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!

He’s sulking. You don’t know what happened since you came from the tree shopping, but he’s been like this for hours.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I can try to take over,” you offer for the fourth time from the living room.

You don’t know how to cook. And even if you tried, you wouldn’t be as good as him, but you don’t want him to do it if he doesn’t feel alright.

“No, no, it’s fine.”

You sigh when you hear his voice. He sounds so off... but he refuses to tell you what’s happening, and you can’t push him more. Maybe it’s work.

“Bucky, you know you don’t have to do anything, right? We can order something. If you don’t feel like it, I can even...” But you pause, knowing better than to continue the sentence. Both: give you some space or leave you alone for a bit would be wrong. “Did something happen? With the project I mean.”

You drop the ornament on the couch and make your way to the kitchen.

Without waiting for him to answer, you wrap your arms around his waist from behind, pulling his back even tighter against your chest.

The Christmas tree and the food can wait. And you definitely don’t care about his covered in flour apron. You just want him to know you’re there.

You feel him tense for a few seconds, but you don’t move, instead you place your palms on his chest and hug him harder. That’s when he melts, his shoulders dropping a little. You smile before leaving a small kiss below the back of his neck.

“Who made you mad? Who do I kick?”

“I’m not... I told you I’m not mad,” he murmurs, but you don’t buy it.

“Ever since we bought the tree, you’ve been acting strange. You’re so tense, bubba.”

Bucky sighs, shaking his head at the same time as he decides to cover your hands with his. They’re warm and a little sweaty.

“I am just nervous about the food. I don’t want to screw it up.”

“Did I do something wrong? Tell me, don’t lie to me when I clearly want to solve this.”

You take a step back, upset, dropping your hands. This is not going to be a good conversation if he isn’t going to really talk. You don’t even know what you did wrong.

“Hey, hey! You didn’t do anything wrong. I am so sorry, but it’s really-”

“If you say it’s nothing one more time!” You snap, unable to keep your voice down. You don’t want to fight with him, you never do. It’s the worst feeling in the world, but he refuses to share. He is so stubborn!

“I am sorry.”

“Just tell me what happened. What made your mood change like that?”

“It’s silly,” he says, wiping his hands on his apron. “Nothing happened. Just... you know, it happens.”

Of course mood changes can just happen, but, in his case, unless it’s something that is really bothering him, it doesn’t last for so long. And he always talked to you about it, so it must be something you did.

“Did I do something Bucky? Did you,” you bite your lip when you feel yourself starting to get teary. You’re not going to be a cry baby. “Feel embarrassed by me?”

He jumps, bringing his hands to cup your face gently. You don’t move, enjoying his touch so much. “Bubba, no! No, no, no. I told you, you’re perfect. Fuck,” he curses, looking away. “I should be the one asking you that... if you feel embarrassed to be seen with me”

“What?”

“When we met with your... friend. I know we talked about our age difference before and all of that, but-”

You interrupt him before he can finish that sentence, still shocked. He was sulking for hours because he thought you’re unhappy to be seen with him all of a sudden? “When have I ever been embarrassed to be seen with you, bubba? I thought I made my feelings quite clear from the beginning. Did I say something today to make you feel this way?”

You’re trying to remember anything that could have triggered this type of thought, any gesture... anything, but you genuinely can’t find anything.

“This is the thing... you didn’t. You were just yourself: sweet, funny, and amazing. You reunited with your friend and all I could think was how much I want to...” He closes his eyes as if he’s fighting something inside his mind.

“Wanted to do what?” You push him to continue, happy he is finally opening up. You hate when you don’t know what he’s thinking about because you can’t reassure him like this.

“I’m a jerk, baby. I wanted to wipe off the smile on his face and take you to the car to fuck you. It’s immature, I know.” He brings his hands to his hair and he pulls. And pulls. “But I’ve never had this urge before. It was eating me alive.”

“You were jealous of Mickey?”

“I was, yeah,” he admits immediately. “The way he looked at you, the familiarity, the jokes... you giggled at his comments, and I thought I am gonna make a scene right there and then fuck you until you’re so full with my come you start dripping.”

That surprises you even more. You didn’t expect him to be jealous, especially not on this level since he’s always calm and collected, and you’re the one going crazy. And him wanting to fuck you with this urgency? It makes it even more interesting.

“He smiled quite a lot, didn’t he?” You bring your hand casually to his chest again. “Well, we know each other after all. He was one of my professors’ assistant, remember?”

Oh, how can he forget?

“Yeah, I remember very well, baby, trust me.”

“Should I tell you a little secret?” You move your fingers up until they reach his bottom lip. You want to distract him, to push him to get what he wants, ao you can see more of this side of him. “I kinda had a crush on him. He was like the hottest guy in my classes, you know?”

She immediately notices a flicker of darkness in his eyes, as if she’s just touched a nerve.

“You had a crush on him, huh?” He asks through his teeth, but not aggressively at all, more like challenging. He probably knows what you’re trying to do, but he still responds.

“Yep.” You grin playfully. “A huge one. My first real crush to be honest.”

“You’re enjoying this.” Bucky shakes his head, smiling.

“I don’t enjoy you thinking I’d be embarrassed to be seen with you.”

Surprisingly, he grabs your waist, pulling you toward him. You whimper when your breasts crush against his chest but stay still.

“You know exactly what I meant, don’t play.”

“And I see your mood changed all of a sudden.”

“Are you horny because I got jealous? Is that it, baby? You want me to-”

You groan, interrupting him, as you move your hips a little to meet his.

“I am horny because you were so close to going feral on me.”

Bucky smiles in a way you don’t think you’ve seen him smile before. It’s playful in a different way, as if he’s hiding something, and the fact you’re in the dark brings him endless satisfaction. Then he grabs your cheeks with his left hand, the coldness making you jump a little.

“You wanted me to go feral on you, huh?”

You don’t let him enjoy the moment for too long as you cover his hand just to move it lower until it rests on your neck, nothing you’ve never done before. But he surprises you again by actually squeezing the sides teasingly without taking his eyes off you.

You can’t help but whimper. You’ve wanted him to choke you for so long, but you didn’t want to push. It looks like he did too.

“Want you to go feral on me now too.”

You expect him to tease a bit longer, maybe even make you beg for it, but he doesn’t. He quickly rips your shirt in half, buttons flying eveywhere in the room, but he doesn’t give a fuck.

At least you aren’t wearing a bra, otherwise it would be ripped, too.

He’s not gentle when he turns you around by your hair, and you groan, the pain bringing pleasure, when you feel his fingers close to your roots. Your knees are suddenly weak too, but his grip on your waist as he pushes down your pants and panties at the same time keeps you on your feet.

He’s never been so fierce with you... always so careful. But you wanted this. You craved this.

“You’re gonna get it, don’t worry.” He pulls your hair again, and you moan. “Gonna make you my comeslut in a sec. Walk.”

You don’t say anything as you move to the living room quickly, with his hand still in your hair. You step out of pants and panties right before you reach the threshold. You don’t him to slow down, you want him to fuck you the way he craved it when you ran into Mickey.

“Hands and knees.”

You turn your head as much as his grip allows it and smile. “Ask me nicely and maybe I’ll consider it since you held back today. Why should I-”

But he doesn’t let you even finish your sentence as he is pulling your hair to guide you down. He’s not even doing it hard, but it makes you so wet. You love this side so fucking much.

“I’d advise you to do what you’re told.”

Even his tone is more demanding and deeper. You close your eyes and, despite your urge to be a brat again, you get on hands and knees as he told you. You want his cock more than anything.

“Like this?” You tilt your head enough so he can see your smirk, knowing the patronizing tone will drive him crazier.

“Need to fuck the attitude out of you, don’t I?” He smiles back, lowering his sweatpants. You turn your head, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you blush.

“You can try, but we both know that’s-”

He’s not just at your entrance, he’s pushing inside you.

You gasp, surprised he did this without warning you.

“You okay?”

You nod, hoping he can see you, when he grabs your ass. He pushed only a bit, waiting for your approval.

“Bubba?” He whispers, and you can sense the worry in his voice. But you’re really wet and horny, and you want to be fucked.

“F-fine. I’m fine, keep going. Please.”

“Who?”

“James?” You try, unsure, feeling him getting inside you deeper and deeper.

“Sweetheart, that’s not what you usually like to call me, is it? Don’t lie to yourself.”

“W-what?” The way he’s filling you makes it impossible for you to focus. You can barely breathe properly.

“Aren’t you a comeslut for daddy? Why do you prolong your suffering?”

“I’m not...” you whimper, playing around. “I’m not a comeslut.”

“You’re right, you’re not. Yet.”

He starts thrusting pretty slowly, probably wanting to make sure you’re getting used to it, but his hand in your hair shows you that things aren’t going to be so tame for long.

“God, look how fucking wet you are, doll. Taking me so well, hungry for my cock.”

You whimper, thrusting your ass back because, as he speaks, he slips out of you completely, letting you empty.

“Daddy, please.”

You don’t care if your neediness is evident in your voice, Bucky already knows you’re desperate for him. And after he’s been sulking and refusing to tell you why, he owes you this.

“What?”

“Come on, fuck me. Gimmie... gimmie your cock. Pound me. Didn’t you say you were gonna go feral?”

He doesn’t need another invitation, and you realize immediately he is not going to hold back as he grabs your hips with more force than before and slams inside you. His balls hit your clit over and over again, and you moan even louder, tilting your head so he can get the hint you want him to pull your hair. But he ignores it.

He continues to fuck you without stopping, making sure to almost pull out completely a couple of times just to push back in hard, driving you crazy.

“A crush, huh? Your first real crush.” He sneaks his metal arm under your body and squeezes one of your breasts.

Jesus!

“B-Bucky!”

“Try again or I stop right fucking now. I’ll use your mouth, and you won’t get to come.”

You gasp and almost tell him he wouldn’t dare, but wouldn’t he?

“D-daddy, please. I love you.”

Even though you can’t see him, you know he’s smiling.

“Do you?”

“So much, please don’t stop.”

He’s slowing down a little so you can speak, matching his thrusts with the way he is playing with your breasts.

“You’re so adorable when you’re cockdrunk. But should I-”

“Please, I had a crush on you too.”

When he frees your breast, you want to scream. You didn’t lie, and he knew it. You had a huge crush on him as you were filming, but it was innocent and cute. The dirty thoughts started after, so why is he so annoying?

He doesn’t drop his hand, though. He moves it higher, wrapping it around your neck.

“That’s it?” He playfully squeezes the sides of your neck, and your eyes roll back in pleasure. He knows exactly what buttons to push, and the more you fuck, the better it gets. “Just a crush?”

“I love you, daddy. And I need it faster, please.”

He doesn’t just fuck you faster as you want, he also somehow fucks you deeper, his fingers tightening instinctively on your hips. You’re a moaning mess at this point, unable to say anything else but his name, and even that comes out stuttered.

You can barely keep your head straight when he starts really choking you. You expect to feel like you’re suffocating, some panic or discomfort, but his cold grip on your neck only makes it hard for you to focus on anything... impossible to think, and a little dizzy.

“You’re a fucking tease, aren’t you?”

Tears. You feel many tears leaving hot trails on your cheek. You can’t even open your eyes.

“You just wanted to be pounded so hard that you taunted daddy with his jealousy. Bad girl.”

You’re so, so close, you can barely even hear him. Your ears are ringing and you moan loudly. You have no idea how he even can speak.

“Fuck,” he whimpers when you unconsciously move your hips back to meet his thrusts, desperate for more before he slaps your ass twice. The moan you let out is so high pitched even you are surprised. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? You’re a whore for a bit of pain.”

You are. You love it with him because you trust him. You know he’d never go too far even when he’s wild and crazy like this. And that only turns you on more and more. You’re so close that you can almost taste it.

“But you’re my little baby, aren’t you? I’m the one y-you need. Fuck!”

You’re screaming before he can even finish speaking as the strongest orgasm you’ve ever experienced takes over your body. It’s a blinding pleasure you can feel everywhere: from your pussy to your head and even fingers. And the way he keeps thrusting in and out of you at the same speed prolongs it.

“D-daddy, please,” you groan when the pleasure turns into sensitivity. You want him to feel at least half as good as you do. You try to open your eyes as you tilt your head back so he can see you, but the tears make your sight blurry. “Please... c-come inside me. Give me your come, fill me up, I neeeed it.”

And while he moans your name, he does, making you realize he’s been really holding back his release all this time. He drops his hand from your neck just to grab a handful of your tit and squeeze as he comes. And comes. And comes.

“Jesus, d-doll. Take my come. Got so much for you. So, so much.”

You love how feral he is, how it feels to be used like this. You want to be his toy.

“Thank you, daddy. Thank you for your come.”

You feel the pressure and weight of his chest pressing against your back, but he doesn’t let go of your breast, fondling it gently.

“Fuck, this was...” He doesn’t even finish his sentence, trying to catch his breath. You are both sweaty and warm, but you don’t care. You love being so close to him.

“This was so fucking good, bubba. Why did you hold back all this time?”

He doesn’t answer straight away, instead he leaves a trail of kisses from your neck to the middle of your back, rising at the same time.

“Didn’t want to hurt you, bubba.”

“Told you I am not made of glass!” You try to stand up, too, but your knees are so wobbly that Bucky has to help you, wrapping his metal arm around your waist. You feel his come start to drip out little by little and you moan, scooping some of the come with two fingers and then bringing it to your lips.

You whimper the moment you get a taste, looking at Bucky to show him exactly how you feel about it. Quickly, you bring your index finger that is still covered in come to his lips, wanting to share with him.

Without hesitation, he opens his mouth, letting you smear some come on his tongue before he cleans it all by lapping at your finger.

You smile. “Promise you won’t hold back, and that you’ll talk to me the next time you feel like this. I could never be embarrassed by you or to be seen with you, bubba. You’re my baby, okay?”

Bucky smiles too, letting your finger out of his mouth with a pop. “I’m sorry, you’re right. And you’re my baby, too.”

“I know, but I was scared I did something really wrong and I didn’t...”

You don’t know how to continue, but you don’t have to as he pulls you into a tight hug, your head resting against his chest.

“I am sorry. I let the jealousy blind me because I felt insecure. I sometimes wonder if I’m enough for you.”

“Enough?” You sigh, kissing him all over his chest T-shirt. “You are everything, and you make me so happy. Please, don’t ever doubt that!”

“I’ll try, bubba, and thank you.” You feel his lips on top of your head, so you close your eyes, enjoying this moment. You’re gonna show him how much he means to you even more. “Do you feel sore?”

“A little,” you snort. “But it was soooo worth it. We have to do that again. Gosh, and the way you choked me, Mr. Barnes!”

He starts laughing at your tone, which makes you laugh too. This is your Bucky. You love him so much that you wish you could take away all of his fears and second thoughts. He is yours, and you are his.

“Noted, baby. You’re not made of glass.”

“Nope.” You break the hug just to take a step back and look around. You made a mess, and you haven’t even finished with the Christmas tree.

It’s gonna be a long evening.

“Gonna run you a bath, then we can continue with,” he waves around. “Deal?”

“Deal.”

[inkedbybarnes]

anything

bucky barnes x fem!reader

summary: bucky is determined to take care of you while you're sick.

word count: 1.6k+

warnings: mentions of insecurities, mentions of illnesses (but vaguely described), fluffy ahh shit bc why not, usage of pet names such as baby and doll. bucky being stubbornly sweet (it is indeed, a warning), lowercase writing.

i've been sick the past few days hence the creation of this fic. idk why my mood drops when i'm sick... once again, this is too fluffy even for my own good but i warned you and you're reading it still anyway. 🤨 haha jk, i hope you enjoy this one! 🩷

dividers by @cafekitsune!

reblogs, comments, and likes are highly appreciated! thank you. ♡

“can you please let me in, baby?"

that was the fifth time bucky had asked the same question, never giving up on his mission to take care of you after learning from jarvis – out of all people... or robots? – that you were sick.

“bucky, i promise, i'm fine. stop trying to break the door,” you answered, your clogged nose not helping as you sounded horrible even with a concrete wall separating you from him. “go and tell steve that you're joining the mission. you can't withdraw yourself just because i'm—achoo!”

your nose began to leak, and you were now distracted with the need to find the tissue box that used to be on your bed. you didn't hear the door clicking open as well as the heavy footsteps of a certain soldier walking towards you.

“just because you're what? sick?”

you jumped, feeling the edge of the bed sink with his weight. you quickly grabbed the tissue box that was mysteriously thrown under the bed before facing bucky with the duvet covering most of your body.

“how did you open the door?”

bucky shrugged. “i broke the doorknob. you didn't say anything about breaking doorknobs.”

you sighed, not winning this argument with bucky. “you shouldn't be here, bucky. you're supposed to be preparing for a mission tomorrow, not babysitting me!”

“and let you go through this on your own? tough chance, doll. i'm your boyfriend for fuck's sake, and don't tell me that you're worried about getting me sick because we both know i'm immune," he argued, reaching out and pulling the blanket down enough to reveal your face. “are you really upset that i want to take care of you? you should be demanding things from me, baby. instead you've been hiding from me.”

“because i don't need anything, bucky. i can handle myself just fine." you huffed, knowing you wanted his attention and care so badly. remembering your face was exposed, you felt insecure again. you dragged the cover back up and turned away. “i also don't want you to see me like this.”

“like what?"

“like a mess," you muttered underneath the sheets. “you've never seen me like this before, and i swear i am the worst when i'm sick. you don't have to see me like this, okay? i don't want you to.”

you felt silly. it was completely normal to get sick, but you hated how extreme your body would act out whenever an illness would attack you. you'd always sound and look like you were fighting a battle in hell alone. the way your mind would take an entire flip and drag you to your lowest point didn't help either. so, not only were you feeling physically horrible, you were also struggling mentally.

“a mess? what mess?” he asked, lifting the cover to join you underneath it which caught you off guard. you were entirely exposed to his eyes now. “there's my girl. where's the mess that you're talking about, huh?”

with the little amount of energy left in you, you brought your hands up to cover your face. he could see how much of a mess you were now, far from the dream you've painted since the day you dated him. now, you were nothing but a nightmare of your reality.

“don't you dare hide from me. i haven't seen you all day and it's driving me insane," he complained, pulling your hands away from yourself. he brought his thumb to your teary eyes, wiping the tears away before they could fall. “i can't believe you're hiding from me just because you think i can't handle seeing you sick. what did you think i'd do once i saw you like this?”

you sniffed, hesitation holding you back from telling him the truth. it's only been three months since you've started dating bucky, and you were still in that stage where you'd constantly try impress him.

you weren't faking yourself, no. however, you still did your best to only show your good side and tuck away your insecurities. unfortunately, you had to get sick too soon and have to risk bucky seeing you this way.

“you thought i'd leave you? won't like you anymore? get turned off or something?”

you nodded, knowing that was exactly what went through your head and a bit pissed that he was able to read your mind without actually having the power to do so.

bucky's eyes softened at your confession, letting out a soft sigh as he saw how badly you were beating yourself up.

“if it's because of how you look right now, then it's true. you do look different," he answered, your chest tightening. “your eyes lost their glow, you're frowning more often, your eyes are all puffy, you are definitely grumpier than usual, your lips are dry and chapped from—”

“okay, i get it, bucky! you don't have to rub it in my fa—”

“but i won't be doing whatever is on your mind. you're sick, doll. it'll affect you. it's normal. hell, i look even worse when i used to get sick, but you? you still look so fucking lovely." he held your face gently, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “even then, i don't give a fuck on how messy you can get. i'm your boyfriend. i should be taking care of you, helping you feel better, and bringing back the glow in your eyes. please, baby. let me take care of you.”

this time, you were looking back at him. "you mean it?"

"of course I mean it," he replied softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "i love you, doll. i don't care how you look like right now. you could look like a swamp monster and be sick as a dog, and i would still think that you are the most beautiful woman for me."

you giggled softly, his words filling you with warmth and reassurance. you felt so lucky to have a man who truly loved you and handled your insecurities with such understanding and care, and even sillier for thinking he'd leave you for such reasons.

“thank you. that really made me feel better," you told him, your arms slowly creeping forward to hold him. “i'm sorry for hiding. i was just scared to turn you off or anything.”

“are you kidding? i'm trying my best not to hold you down and kiss you all over. i haven't even hugged you for a day,” bucky said, a pout on the verge of forming on his face.

“it hasn't even been a day, bucky. now, who's dramatic?" you said, rolling your eyes playfully. “and you're supposed to be on a mission tomorrow! are you really not going?”

“when i could be here taking care of you?” he asked, as if the answer was already obvious. “the others can handle it. my main priority is to do anything you want and make you feel better.”

“anything?”

he smiled, leaning down to let your lips meet softly. "anything."

( a lil bonus < 3 )

“what is that smell?”

sam, steve, and natasha entered the compound after a quick briefing for their mission tomorrow. they joined tony and clint who were having a casual conversation in the living room about the best burrito in town.

the kitchen was an open space, the aroma of whatever bucky was cooking spreading all around the nearby rooms.

sam didn't hesitate to come closer and inspect the kitchen, finding the entire counter lined up with various spices and plates that bucky filled with his dishes.

“what's the occasion? did i miss something?" sam asked, grabbing a fork to take a little taste until bucky slapped his hand away. "ow! what was that for?"

"hands off." bucky warned, frowning at sam. “that's not for you, wilson."

“not even a nibble? come on, man. it smells amazing!”

their usual bickering caught the attention of the other avengers, immediately joining them in the kitchen which annoyed bucky even more when he saw them eyeing the food he made.

"before any of you try to ask, no. this is not for any of you."

"who's it even for?" natasha asked, the least interested to have a taste, but was curious either way.

bucky answered with your name. "she's sick."

"what? since when?" clint asked, worry flashing across his face. "can we do anything?"

bucky glanced up before hesitantly answering. "well.. she did say she wanted to watch a movie after eating."

clint snapped his fingers and smiled. "i'm on it."

"i'll get jarvis to check on her vitals every hour and create a diagnosis," tony said, already tapping on his smart watch. "assuming she wouldn't be too comfortable letting the entire team know what's going on with her body, i'll just let you receive the updates. just update me with what you can, yeah?"

"i'll talk to fury and let you both have a week free from work," steve offered. "she needs the rest and she needs you."

"oh, i'll handle fury. he can't say no to his favourite," natasha said with a smug smile. "tell her i'll bring her all her favourite snacks once we're back from our mission, and that she better be back to full health so we can go out together."

bucky nodded, chest warming with the genuine concern they shared. he was excited to let you know how loved and deserving of all this you were.

if you have any requests for bucky, send them my way! 💌