#anon is it just me but I feel like being in a queer friend group without any lesbians is worse than a normie straight one

[lesbianamalvada]

its isolating being a lesbian in a 'queer' friend group like its just people talking bout men all the time. there is one girl whose lesbian but the only gay thing she talks about is her pride merch and heartstopper.

No because the way my one "lesbian" friend was obsessed mlm shows like Heartstoppers and Young Royals and later came out as an Achillean trans masc and traded the lesbian flag for the toothpaste one on their bookbag. Like it's fine to live ur truth but I feel like so young people use lesbian as like a transition phase to bisexual or trans and it makes me sad.

Also no tea no shade I love Alice Oseman but Heartstopper is boring AF! If it was straight no one would watch it, let's bffr! Meanwhile shows like First Kill and Warrior Nun can stand on their own with no representation, but get cancelled. It's because everyone only sees male characters as loveable and will obsess over them only, in my experience it's only sapphics who can appreciate well written female characters and not just call them "mother" or "girlboss" while they move on to write the next essay about their white male blorbo. I can't even be mad at authors and showrunners for not creating more complex female characters because it's not what sells!

And don't get me started on how many young gays can only express their identity through "pride merch" aka capitalism. and annoying memes like limp wrist, fruity, zesty. That's not their fault identity capitalism has messed up gen z in general, but it's still isolating.

[mr-ribbit]

gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.

i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.

to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community

to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.

so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue

"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"

I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.

"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"

I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.

there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?

there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic

also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.

"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"

they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?

also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????

and another thing:

it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?

focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.

especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

im a trans boy who has grown up with very oppressive religious parents so ive never gotten the chance to experiment sexually or romantically with peers irl, im about to move to the city for college in the fall

(i will be living on campus with two roommates who i haven't met yet and i know basically nothing about, one of them i will be sharing a bunk bed with)

im really nervous about how im gonna do socially.. ive had a really hard time making and maintaining irl friends for like my entire life, which has been really upsetting for me obviously.

being able to experiment sexually is something im really wanting to do and im really really nervous about it, i know that the most straightforward advice is just "talk about it to people you wanna do sex stuff with" but like everything is new to me i havent had the chance to really socialize irl up until this point and now im being shoved into a group of other young adults who all have the prior experience of being well socialized and having complex interpersonal relationships with peers

i also feel extremely insecure about my lack of experience, like is it actually normal for someone my age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter? are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong?? i can't watch porn bc looking at strangers having sex grosses me out!! im pretty sure my front hole is like unnaturally tight?? anything wider than two of my fingers is uncomfortable and no matter how much prep and easing myself into it i do, it stays that way.. and i think my cervix is also lower than most, about 3-4 inches is the maximum that i can insert before i can feel it bump my cervix (which hurts REALLY BAD)

im just so nervous and scared about my own body and personality and all that andi don't know where to look for resources or reassurance. ive never been to the doctor for any kind of reproductive care and im really scared to!!! i live in a state that has completely outlawed abortion rights and im really scared that if i go to planned parenthood or something to get like a checkup that they will be mean and not gentle with me

i don't know, i guess im just looking to be heard and hopefully pointed towards some resources if anyone has any, thank you for the work you do and thank you for taking the time to read my panicked ramblings

hi anon,

there's a lot happening here so I'm just doing a numbered list

1.) man, how did the third guy luck out and avoid the bunk bed? you don't have to answer that, I'm just curious how you guys have already worked out that two of you are stuck with the bunk beds. unless you're into bunk beds (I was), in which case mazel tov.

2.) in the nicest way possible, I think you may be vastly overestimating how "well socialized" other students are going to be. reading between the lines a bit, it sounds like you were maybe home schooled, or at least don't have very much experience mingling with other people your age without adult supervision. I guarantee you every public school in the world is also full of introverted freak losers who rock up to college with no idea of what they're doing; I was one of them. the majority of first year college students are also running around panicking and trying to figure out how to be away from their parents for the first time; everyone is a loser and no one is cool.

would it comfort you at all to know that my day job is organizing events at my office's LGBT student resource center? I spend a lot of time hanging out with queer first year students, and I love them dearly, and they're all cringefail losers. it's unavoidable. every 18 year old is a cringefail loser. every single person on Earth looks back at their 18 year old self and goes "goddamn, what a cringefail loser." and it's fine! it's so normal! that's the entire point of your first year of college! you try things and you're socially awkward and you meet some of the most important people you will ever meet and you meet people whose opinions about you won't matter literally at all and you'll completely change how you think about everything for the rest of your life and you'll think you're going to die and everything will be fine!!!!

anyway moving on

3.) it's normal for anyone at any age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter. I'm assuming you value my insight at least a little, since you sent this, so would it help you to know that I arrived at college as virginal as could be (wildly insecure about it, btw) and didn't have sex for the first time until I was almost 21? would it comfort you to hear from my housemate, also transmasculine, who gave me permission to share that they've never had sex and that none of their life problems really have anything to do with being a virgin?

4.) "are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong??" hard to say, since I don't know what those things are, but probably not. it's extremely hard to get masturbating wrong, no one knows what feels good to you better than you. you're sort of an authority here. masturbating isn't exactly like partnered sex, of course, but it's a really good place to start learning about things that you like and make you feel good.

5.) everything you're describing about your front hole sounds very typical. two fingers is the max number of comfortable fingers for a lot of people, regardless of experience; often, taking something larger doesn't become easier until after having penetrative sex with a partner. average vaginal depth is about 3.6 inches, and while that can increase significantly with arousal, it's something that doesn't generally happen if you're not relaxed during sex. if I can be a bit presumptuous, it sounds like sex and masturbation are maybe a bit anxiety-inducing for you, in a way that is pretty much perfectly contradictory to comfortable penetration. if I can offer you some advice I wish I could give my younger self: calm the fuck down, buy some lube, stop worrying so much about making your body react the way you think it should and learn to appreciate what it's actually doing, and maybe see if your campus has some free therapy options available. anxiety meds probably wouldn't hurt this situation. also stop hitting your cervix if that hurts oh my god.

6.) Planned Parenthood is generally one of the best places to go if you're nervous; they're aggressively queer friendly and tend to be extremely accommodating of patients' needs. I personally do not care for penetration at all and have a difficult time with Pap smears, and every examiner I've ever had at PP has been an angel about letting me take breaks and swear my way through it. it ain't fun, but if you want to have an adventurous sex life you need to take care of the health of yourself and your prospective partners by getting STI tests and Pap smears.

you're so normal, calm down, I love you

[catboybiologist]

hey, only asking in anon just in case bc I want to be safe and keep my blog safe in case there end up being issues with this topic later on, but this is something seriously so important right now to ask

do you actually support trans men and view them as men and think they deserve safe spaces and should be allowed to be masculine without being demonised or othered for it and to not have to jump through hoops to interact with other queer people?

Yes, of course.

But imma be blunt- what exactly are you trying to accomplish here?

A massive transphobe, or transmisandrist, could just as easily reply "yes" to me.

This is why I typically don't reblog posts along the lines of "reblog if you support X Y and/or Z!!!!" Because that should come through in how you conduct yourself online, your decency as a person, and the decency of your community. Sometimes I feel that posts like this only serve to absolve people with transmisandrist and/or transmisogynist opinions to shield themselves from the judgement of others, or prevent any deeper self reflection about viewpoints that they hold that might make a hostile environment for particular groups of people.

So why send the ask?

If you want to see my blog as a safe space for transmascs, don't do it because I answered an ask that can be answered via a text bite.

Do it because I advocate for queer unity.

Do it because I advocate for testosterone access.

Do it because I love my transmasc friends and followers.

If this is genuinely important, then you should take at least a little bit of time to look at my blog. I post about transfemme stuff more than transmasc stuff because I'm transfemme, but I hope that any sufficient amount of time on my blog will make it clear that I want as many queer (and non-queer) perspectives around here as possible.

Sorry to jump on ya. I know you're coming from a good place and want to make sure that you and other people who see your tumblr are safe. I'm not criticizing your ask, moreso I'm telling other people to be cautious of bigotry even if people respond positively to text snippets like this.

[lemotmo]

They got an ask about Buck/Eddie being written like Hen/Chimney. Because of course 🙄

A. Good evening anon, my week has been pretty decent, thank you. I hope yours was as well. Buck/Eddie are not written or played remotely similarly to Hen/Chimney. Their dynamics are purposely different. I don't know if you belong to the group of viewers whose knowledge of the show only consists of 6 episodes from season 7, but based on your ask, I'm going to assume that you are. But even if your knowledge is relegated to season 7 exclusively you should still be able to see the difference. Hen and Chimney are your textbook besties for life. They support each other. They cry with and cheer for one another. And sometimes even share one braincell. But they have always been shown to have lives separate from one another and their friendship (that's part of the show history you're deliberately avoiding). I believe Chimney has had one scene with Denny (Hen and Karen's son) throughout the entirety of the show's run. Buck and Christopher's relationship is its own unit within the show. They have episodes and arcs devoted to the two of them (that pesky show history again, sorry). Buck is not written as his sudo uncle. He's not written as his dad's best friend who occasionally babysits. He is a coparent. Eddie and Buck had one episode, Eddie's first episode, and it wasn't even the full episode, where they weren't written as immediately living in the pocket of each other. The show made a point of developing Hen and Chimney outside of their friendship. The show has deliberately chosen not to do that with Buck and Eddie. It's a season after season writing choice. It's why Kenny, Aisha, and Tim can all easily use the word friendship to describe Hen/Chimney. It's also why Oliver, Ryan and Tim cannot use the word friendship to describe Buck and Eddie. It's why in interview after interview they all struggle to describe it. The word friendship does not feel right or remotely strong enough to describe their relationship. And they all know it (again, it's that lousy show history).

It's okay to say you don't want Eddie to be canonically queer because you know what that means for Tommy. That's okay. You're allowed to hate it solely for what it means to that character. We all hate something that is canon. I hate several canon things. I won't tell you all of them, but I will share one that seems minor to a lot of people, but fills me with rage. When the show had Buck tell Eddie that he thinks Natalia 'sees' him I wanted to burn the studio to the ground. Evan Buckley looked Eddie Diaz in the face and actually said out loud that someone he just met is the person who makes him feel seen (even typing the words out made my face hot). Eddie Diaz who knows Evan Buckley better than anyone else in the world had to listen to those words be said about someone else. I hate it. I hate it so much that any time anyone mentions that scene around me all my friends groan because they know I'm about to go on a rant. I don't pretend I hate it for any other reason except it made me upset on Eddie's behalf. That's it. To me it felt wrong, wildly out of place, especially considering Buck had known her all of 5 minutes, and I thought it was stupid. That's it. I don't try to convince everyone that my feelings towards that scene are about some greater morality point. I hate it because I hate it. And that's all that matters. I don't know who told you all that you're not allowed to not want Eddie to be canonically queer because you know they'll put him with Buck. That's the reason you don't want it. Say it. You can. No one will judge you for you saying that. People are judging you because you're pretending it's all this other greater good for television bullshit. It's not. It's not because television needs a straight/queer bestie combo, those are everywhere, including 911, hello Hen and Chimney. It's not because television needs a straight man who's not afraid of his emotions. It's not because putting them in a relationship would ruin one of the best platonic relationships on television. It's none of those things. It's because he would be with Buck. Period. Just own it. It's fine.

The only problem with admitting it means you're also admitting that once his arc with Buck is complete there is no purpose for Tommy. That's why you don't want to admit it. You guys have spent the entire hiatus letting people convince you that he's becoming an integral part of the show. That he's going to have storylines and episodes devoted to him and his past. He's not. Even if they keep him around as a boyfriend for a bit he will still just exist on the fringes of the show. He will never be important as a stand alone character. The show has given zero indication that he is anything more than a plot point. They just haven't. And maybe you all are correct, and Tim has spent the downtime thinking of ways to make him more permanent. But that is very unlikely. Everything we've seen so far, including the decision to release that deleted clip, seems to indicate he has a very particular story purpose, and once they've told that particular part of the story, his services will no longer be required. You can hate it. You have absolutely every right to hate it. It doesn't matter if I, or anyone else, ever understands why you hate it. You can hate it. But it won't make it less true. It will just be part of the canon that you hate. And that's okay.

Okay, I wouldn't know what to add to this to be honest. Every single thing that has been on my mind for some time now is right there, in the answer above. The only difference is that the OP managed to summarise all of it in a few paragraphs. It would probably have taken me hours and pages of text to say what they just said in their answer.

I just want to add on thing. It's true, we all have canon parts of the show that we hate. Mine is the lawsuit arc. I can't watch it anymore. I can't even read fics that deal with the lawsuit. That is how much I hate it. I hated how they made Buck sue the Fire Department and how they made him tell that lawyer all about his friends' private lives. I absolutely detest it, because it made me dislike Buck during that time. And I've always loved Buck, even season 1 Buck. I eventually got over it and forgave Buck around the same time Eddie did. I will always hate that arc, but I also realise that it happened and that it will forever be a part of Buck's character arc.

This will be part of the canon that I hate. And that's okay. It won't make me love the show any less, but it will always be there.

What are the canon parts of the show that you hate(d)?

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Best and Worst of Both worlds (part 9)

Tw: monty being a fuckin creep, vomiting, the girls are fightingggg, so blood and violence, yves being a dick and elitist, using the word queer in a derogatory manner

DAMN i was expecting the votes to be like to go to the uni cause Yves is hottest choice rn

anyways if u guys read the original series where Monty was from, u would know he's like a sub but his behavior depends on the reader, he's actually a switch

tanks for reading, pls send in anon asks, reblog or comments i love 2 hear yalls thoughts and it keeps me going PLSPLSPLS I AM DESPERATEEE

Part 10

The mall it is. You've been visiting the university too much to escape your home and to take your dreaded exams, despite having air conditioning, you're going to feel miserable there. You barely have friends in the university aside from Yves. A change of scenery would be nice, to note down the things you wanted for yourself.

You tried to decide how you feel about Yves. The urge to run away from him and hide is there, but it's not as strong anymore. Because he already saw it all. The mold, your room, your tears, your puke... you can't possibly embarrass yourself again to that degree, right? The worst should be over.

And, he did say it himself; he is interested in you too. So... it should be safe to proceed with this weird relationship. You think. He's already doing way more than what a lover typically does, let alone someone who you barely went on a first date with.

You shouldn't be afraid of bumping into him. He's not going to bite your head off, you hope.

And speak of the devil, you received a text from him.

"(Name), this is Yves. I hope you slept well. Please reply to me as soon as you wake up."

You bit the inside of your cheek, you held onto your bag tightly as the bus drove over a hump.

It's not like he could see that you read it. You don't know what he is going to say next, once you respond.

But it's rude to just leave him hanging like that. He's probably going to find out you're ignoring him anyways.

Might as well text him back. You told him that you're now awake. He must be a fast typer because you received a message a few seconds later.

"Good afternoon, how are you feeling?"

You replied that you're feeling fine.

"I assume you are currently resting at home?"

You don't know if you should lie. But then he could easily find out the truth by asking your housemates. So you let out a defeated sigh and told him the half-truth. You said no. That was it, you didn't elaborate further.

"Where are you? Did you at least apply sunscreen?"

You replied that you're now getting off the bus. You're going to text him back later. After that, you put your phone into your pocket.

You walked away from the bus stand and looked at the billboards littered all over the area. It takes a six-minute walk to get to the Mall, maybe a bit longer because your usual path is blocked by a construction job. The workers gave the pedestrians an alternative pathway to travel.

As you start walking, you wonder why was the bus stop never built directly in front of its entrance. It's such a nuisance to get there if you don't own a car.

You frown because the sun is beating against your head, you're among a group of people being funneled into this other path and you're starting to overheat. You remembered Yves packed a UV ray-blocking umbrella, so you went ahead and took it out. You opened it and shielded yourself from the rays, sighing in relief as you felt coolness instantly wash over you.

You were minding your own business and fighting your own inner demons until suddenly a large hand clamped itself onto your shoulder. You let out a surprised yelp and a jolt at the unexpected contact, this cannot be Yves's because it's too calloused and careless, mildly hurting you in the process.

"Joe?"

Who?

You turned whipped your head to the back and saw the person who paid for your poisoned meal. He took your umbrella off your hands, making you hiss at the sun.

"It really is you!" His eyes lit up and the corners of his mouth curled up into a wide, happy grin. "How ya' been? I didn't see you yesterday. Where were ya?"

You eyed him up and down, he's in uniform.

"I'm on my break right now." His hand guided your back. "C'mon, let me treat you lunch."

You said that you had food poisoning from the place you ate with him. And you asked what he meant by "Didn't see you yesterday".

His jaw dropped in shock at your words.

"It really sucks to hear that, so that's why you look a lil' too thin today. I guess you're just not used to their cookin'. I was fine and dandy." You and him seem to move along with the crowd aimlessly.

You repeated your question about what he meant by not seeing you yesterday.

"I came by your school 'cause I got you some Chinese. I couldn't find ya' and no one seems to know who the hell was I talkin' about. Why didn't ya' call me? I was waitin' all night for your voice."

Luckily you gave him the fake name of "Joe M." on your first meeting with him. But it's not like he would have gotten any information on you anyway, you're invisible in your university. Unless he happened to come across Yves, which you doubt he will divulge him about you.

You just said 'oh'.

"Hope you're feelin' better though. Hey, I know a great place to get some hearty chicken soup. It's gotta be good for your belly, it sure helped me when I'm sick as a dog." You took notice of his deepening southern accent.

You're starting to feel uncomfortable around this man, he's wrapping his arm around your shoulder like he's your boyfriend.

You said that you were full, you had something to eat earlier.

"Aw shucks. That's fine, I'll just hang out with you till my break's over." He ruffled your hair affectionately, laughing as you tried to smoothen it out.

You don't like him. Who does he think he is? You're barely even acquaintances with him. But you think it's safer to play along until you find an opportunity to escape, there is no way you could fight off a 6'5 man who lifts steel pillars for a living.

"You got any plans this weekend? I wanna take you out to have fun, you must've spent all your time studyin', and that's good! Education is important. But you gotta loosen up a little 'cause life is short!" Montgomery is either oblivious to or disregards your uncomfortable body language.

You said you made plans already. He momentarily looked dejected, but he reverted back to his cheerful self when he thought of something.

"What about next week? I heard there is a festival goin' on by the pier. There's going to be a Ferris wheel, cotton candy, funnel cakes--"

You decided to rip the bandaid off and straight up tell him that you're not interested in pursuing a relationship with him. Since there were witnesses, you wriggled out of his hold and waited to see what he would do to you. Hoping that he would just respectfully leave you alone but expecting to be angrily punched right in front of everyone.

He was stunned, speechless for a moment until there was a strange glimmer in his eyes that was concealed by his shaggy, brown hair.

"...You're playing hard to get."

A horrified, incredulous look crossed your face. Absolutely not! What makes him think of you that way? You took a couple steps backward as he tried to get closer.

"I see how it is, sweetheart. You want me to chase you, don't ya'?" He playfully pinched both of your cheeks. You wince, struggling to pull his hands off.

You genuinely do not understand why he has this impression of you. As anyone would do, you vehemently denied it.

"Aww, look at you. Red-faced and all." He giggled, grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you away from the main foot traffic so he could toy with you in private. "If you weren't into me, you would have left me to die that night. I may not be the richest or the most handsome..." his smile faltered when it came to the topic of his looks. "...but I know you saw something in me! I'm gonna make sure you don't regret saving me!" You're already regretting being born.

You called him crazy, anyone would have helped him! You're no one special, he teasingly rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, beautiful. Anything to help you sleep at night."

You were adamant that you're not interested and you already have a boyfriend! But this doesn't seem to faze him, he just bent down to your level and placed his hands behind his back.

"Oh yeah? Where is he then? Get outta here, you don't have one. At least, not yet." He winked at you.

Yeah. He is impossible to reason with.

You argued that you do. In fact, he is right behind Montgomery!

He's definitely not believing you, but he turns around anyway to see... no one, as expected.

"I don't see him, do you-- huh?" He was momentarily dumbfounded when all there was in front of him was air.

You managed to blend in with the crowd and successfully entered the mall. You ran into the nearest retail store and hid behind one of the shelves. Everyone was too busy shopping to care what someone shaking like a leaf was doing crouching in the baby and maternal department.

Your hand trembled as you pulled your phone out to see Yves sent you another text.

"Take care. Send me a text message as soon as possible. I will give you a call fifteen minutes later if I do not hear from you by then."

It's been 12 minutes since he sent that text. The next reasonable course of action is to seek comfort and safety from Yves. You thought Montgomery was unhinged and delusional, he thinks you're his just because you saved him that night. You cared as much as everyone else, no one wanted to see another person die if they could help it! But he took it as some ultimate love confession for him.

Then you realize that you should have run as soon as you first rejected him. You hit yourself on the head, he must have thought all the attention you gave him trying to explain yourself was a green light for him to go forward!

You called yourself stupid for not catching this earlier. There's not much you could do now except tell Yves you don't feel safe.

You texted Yves your exact location, even down to the aisle and section. Your texts are a series of panic-induced typos begging him to pick you up because you're scared.

"I will be there in 15 minutes. Is it safe for me to call you?"

You disregarded that text and just dialed his number.

"(name)?" It was so good to hear his smooth, calm voice. Your blood pressure momentarily dropped but rose back again after remembering why you called him in the first place.

You frantically explained what had happened, even your first meeting with Montgomery and the takeaway that gave you food poisoning. Spilling everything even though you didn't mean to, but you're just scared and trapped in a store. You felt upset that he had the umbrella, you apologized and-

"Raise your hand above your head for me, please." He cut you off. You did exactly what he asked, now distracted from your ranting.

"Inhale, following my count." He counted up to four.

"Hold." He counted to seven.

"Exhale." You breathed out for eight seconds. He repeated the cycle a few more times until he could tell you calmed down. Montgomery wouldn't find you from where you're hiding.

"Very good." He praised. "You may put your hand down."

You forgot about that, so you quickly retract your arm to your side.

"I will stay on the line with you until I arrive. Do you understand, (name)?" You gulped and said a shaky yes.

"Stay where you are. You're safe there." He continued. Yves sounded so confident in his answers that you can't help but trust him fully.

You wished you had friends. You wouldn't need to solely rely on him if you did.

"What did you think of the breakfast I made for you?" He asked, in a tone and cadence as if he was casually chatting up with his partner about their day. But you can tell he's speeding through the highways by the intense humming of his car engine.

You said that it's nice. You thanked him for taking care of you.

"I'm happy you enjoyed it. I will be making chicken soup for you tonight, did you apply sunscreen before leaving the house?"

You paused for a while, trying to remember what you did. You eventually tell him no.

"It is important for you to protect your skin. Remember to do so next ti--"

The call suddenly dropped. Your heart started beating wildly again, what happened? You pulled your phone away from your ear and looked at the screen.

You let out a visceral scream that caught everyone's attention, your phone battery is dead.

Seeing that you caused a scene, you flee the store out of embarrassment, forgetting about Yves telling you your original spot is the safest place for you to be in. Now with no means of contacting your savior and being out in the open like this, your brain starts to short-circuit. You begin running aimlessly in no particular direction.

All this stress and explosive physical exertion on you right after a bout of illness is making you queasy again.

But you kept going, just... roaming around while periodically looking over your shoulders. Customers and staff alike were staring at you, thinking that you were suffering from some sort of inner turmoil or drug abuse issues. However, they knew better than to intercept.

However, you focused too much on your back, and not too much on the front.

You slammed into a sturdy pillar, lost your balance, and fell back onto your rear.

"Whoa! You alright?" Except that pillar can speak. And it was the last person you want to see right now. Concern riddled his face as he crouched down to help you up. "This is fun and all, but you gotta watch where you're goin-"

At that moment, your stomach decided to empty itself onto Montgomery's chest. He grimaced as you continued to spew and release more vomit from your mouth.

--

Yves knows where you are. He knew your phone battery died, Yves is just mildly annoyed he didn't catch the fact that one of your room outlets was faulty. It so happened to be the one you used to charge your phone.

Yves pushed the door of the mall's clinic open, glaring daggers at Montgomery as he spotted him waiting on the bench, covered in your puke; noting his filthy fingers wrapping the handle of your bag. He was taken aback by this sudden hostility from an apparent stranger, he looked at Yves confused, what did he ever do to him? Was he offended that he happened to be covered in someone else's throw-up? What a stuck-up bitch!

Yves took his wallet out of his handbag and walked up to the receptionist. He shared a few hushed words with her and spared a couple of unkind glances for Montgomery. The woman behind the counter had both eyebrows raised momentarily before she nodded and picked up a phone. While speaking to someone unknown on the other side of the line, she accepted Yves's credit card.

Soon after, she handed him a clipboard and a pen. He had to sign something before receiving a receipt.

Montgomery looked him up and down with equal animosity, his eyes trailing behind Yves as he took the seat opposite of him.

The dark-haired male elegantly crossed his legs and rested his hands on his knee. Now a blank expression took over his beautiful face. Montgomery took note of his feminine demeanor including his usage of makeup. He somehow deluded himself that he was better than Yves even though he was hunched over, resting his forearms on his thighs while spreading his legs.

Montgomery tried to look away and ignore this stranger. But he couldn't, because Yves was burning holes through his head with his constant stare.

This really ruffled Montgomery's feathers. He's clearly trying to start something.

"What the hell is your problem?"

All eyes landed on Montgomery. Young or old, they're now invested in this sudden outburst.

"What do you mean?" Replied Yves calmly as he tilted his head to the side to feign ignorance.

"You're lookin' at me like you wanted to fight!" Montgomery finally sat up straight while accusing Yves. Meanwhile, the graceful man placed a hand on his chest to express disbelief.

"I do not understand this explosive reaction from you, I have done nothing wrong." Yves's long eyelashes fluttered as he blinked, already winning the hearts of the public. It ticked Montgomery off so bad. For some reason, this androgynous person is making him angrier than usual. Maybe it's because Yves's old money aura reminded him of every city girl and boy who fucked him over emotionally, socially, financially, or physically.

It was quite unusual, Montgomery would usually just not engage with these citizens. But today, Yves is exceptionally infuriating while doing the least. He even smelled the same as those rich bastards, they all must be using the same cologne.

A mere five minutes had elapsed since they first met, yet Montgomery despised him with every fiber of his being.

Yves knows his own effect on the construction worker.

"Don't play with me! You had that stupid look on your face, what have I done to you, huh!?" He rose from his seat.

A ghost of a smile graced Yves's otherwise serious face. That simpleton took the bait.

"Please calm down. You're causing a scene out of nothing." Yves continued provoking him. Mothers began to leave the room with their children, and other patients quietly changed their seats to be further away from the two men.

"Why you-" Something distracted him from his rage.

Yves turned his head and saw you slowly dragging yourself out of the hallway, carrying a prescription slip in one hand and cradling your stomach in the other. You look pale and exhausted as you limp towards the waiting room.

"Joe!" Montgomery called out for you. "Are you alright? What did ya' doctor say?"

You were spooked, you froze in your tracks. Not noticing that Yves is a few steps away from you.

"Dear." You snapped your neck to the source of the quiet but assuring voice. Yves is now standing tall, his arms open for you to run into.

And so, you did. You buried your face in his chest, refusing to see the other man. Yves had a pleased smile as he picked your prescription script from your hands, he slid it into his handbag. Right after, he wrapped his arms around you.

The room was eerily quiet. Everyone was holding their breaths, wondering what was going to happen.

You felt Yves stroke your hair. But you couldn't see or hear anything. So you lift your head a little to see what was going on, he rested his palm on your shoulder.

Montgomery has his eyes open so wide staring at your boyfriend. His mouth is open but soundless. The veins on his forehead and arm were throbbing while he trembled uncontrollably.

"Do you know him, my love? He seems dangerous. You know you shouldn't mingle around men like him, they're usually raised by dysfunctional families- sometimes, they don't even have one." Yves asked you, soft enough for no one else to hear, but loud enough that his pathetic excuse of a rival absorbed every word. This was the last straw for Montgomery.

Finally, he dropped your bag to the ground before launching himself against Yves. Your boyfriend pushed you out of harm's way as he allowed himself to get tackled by the unstable male.

Yves closed his eyes as he took a devastating punch to the face, he was flung to the side from the force and it left a reddish mark on his once pristine face.

"Fuck you! The fuck you mean that's 'your love', you don't mean shit to them!" Montgomery yelled in Yves's ear, and a struggle ensued between them.

Screams and shouts filled the clinic, and the patients present all ran out of the room. Those who stayed tried to film the tussle. Some doctors and customers poked their heads out of the consultation rooms to see what the commotion was all about.

Whereas you grabbed your bag and went outside, securing your safety behind the tempered glass walls.

"You think you better than me?! I'll teach you a fucking lesson to be humble!" Montgomery swung at him again, but Yves dodged in time and utilized his long, slender legs to trip him. Now that he has gotten what he wanted out of this scenario, Yves allows himself to defend his own body.

He got up fairly quickly and tried to land another punch, but Yves grabbed his wrist on time and used minimal force to twist his arm against his back. Montgomery cried out in pain as his limb was contorted to an unnatural position. Being an opportunist, Yves took his chance to strike his broken rib using the side of his hand.

This made Montgomery's legs buckle on itself. You silently cheered for Yves as he subdued the creep on the cold hard tiles.

He pressed a heel against his chest, right behind on fractured bone. So Montgomery was powerless against him.

Yves reached for his handbag and pulled his phone out. He dialed emergency services and reported Montgomery as being aggressive, being a danger to the general public.

"Bullcrap! Fuck you asshole! I will kill you!" Screeched the man currently being stepped on and humiliated in front of his object of obsession. Unfortunately for him, the operator heard his threat towards Yves, increasing your boyfriend's credibility.

He tried to grab his leg, but Yves only drove his sharp heel deeper into his ribs, knocking the air out of him and making stars appear in his vision.

At the same time, the mall security arrives with their batons.

They took over from there, it took more than ten of them to try and get Montgomery under control. He was like a bull seeing red, only goal was to try and disfigure the pretty boy's face as much as possible.

He was forcefully expelled from the premises while kicking, howling, and straining. You saw the tears of anguish in his eyes as he cussed everyone out for treating him as subhuman, he wished horrible fates on all who witnessed but stood by. He was shouting incoherently about having everything stolen from him by the rich, he had one thing good going on but a billionaire had to come along and take you away from him.

He vowed to take what was rightfully his and punish the bad, especially Yves who he referred to as "That fucking queer freak".

Eventually, though, his yelling became inaudible as he got further and further away. The others returned to their day, dispersing as nothing else interesting was going on.

You walked up to Yves, who is now gently dabbing his bleeding nostrils with a folded piece of tissue. He smiled at you, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

"Well done." He praised. Disposing of the soiled napkin into a trashcan nearby.

You said you didn't contribute to anything good. In fact, you're the one who caused all this.

"Don't think too lowly of yourself." He picked up a hairbrush from his bag and started fixing your hair. You looked at his face.

The patch around his nose and under his left eye is already starting to bruise, swelling to a degree that he can only see out of his right. Red dripped down his chin and onto the floor, splattering into many dots.

You look around and see the broken pot, flipped chair, and scattered magazines.

You shudder, asking Yves if you could go home.

"Not yet, (name). The police should be here soon, they have to take my statement." He invited you into his arms, and you snuggled into him as his blood dripped onto you too.

"I packed you something to eat." He softly pried you off him. Reaching for his handbag once again, he retrieved a square container before handing it to you.

You opened it to see a sandwich. It's intentionally bland to accommodate your current weak stomach. As if on cue, your belly growled. However, Yves stopped you from devouring it.

"Always sanitize your hands before eating." He squeezed a good amount of hand sanitizer on your palms. Yves only handed the meal back to you after he was satisfied with your application.

You sit on a chair as you take bites off it. Yves sat next to you too, this time he was tidying his luscious black hair with the same brush and compact mirror.

You continued munching on as you heard distant sirens growing louder.

[lurkingshan]

Hi! I love reading your opinions and I have just started The Sign. What are your opinions on the show and what route are you hoping it would take for the second half of the show? Take care and happy new year!

Hello anon! You picked such an interesting moment to send this ask. We’re halfway through the show and I think its strengths and weaknesses have become fairly clear. Let's talk about it!

Strength: The Chemistry

I think this is the thing that had all the girlies losing it right out of the gate: Phaya and Tharn are hot and their interactions are hotter. The pull and chemistry between them is palpable and the set up for their romance is compelling. Kudos to whoever found Babe and decided to pair him with Billy: you, sir or madam, are incredible at your job and deserve a fruit basket. We are all dying for these two to finally fuck.

Weakness: The Pacing

Which is why it's kind of frustrating that the show is dragging its feet on letting their relationship advance. The first four eps were delicious tension-building, but as the show starts to stall and use dream sequence fakeouts to provide smut without actual relationship development, the audience is clearly getting antsy. The show's pacing is all over the place in general, with wildly varied episode lengths and inconsistent action and plot advancement from week to week. And the desire to drag out the romance without a compelling alternative plot to fill the show in its absence is causing some damage to the characters, most notably Tharn, who is just starting to seem unreasonably antagonistic to a person we know he likes, not to mention unperceptive in his continued inability to notice what is going on around him.

Strength: Production Values

This show is absolutely gorgeous; you can tell most of the money went into making every frame of it beautiful. The strength of the production values and hard work of the crew to create the look and feel of the world was evident from the first episode with all those beautiful training sequences on the beach. And this is used to particularly strong effect whenever we visit Phaya and Tharn's past lives and see the magical world that exists around them come to life.

Strength: The Supporting Cast

The show also has a great ensemble, with Yai especially a standout character who brings a lot of fun to the show, along with his girlfriend Sand and the police squad bros. This is not surprising, as big, messy, chaotic, endearing queer friend groups are an IdolFactory staple. As of last week, we officially have a lesbian side pairing! Tharn and Phaya also have interesting family histories with sweet grandmas and loved ones who lend depth to their characterization.

Weakness: The Copaganda

It was perhaps too much to expect that this bl about cops would have a more sophisticated perspective on law enforcement, institutional corruption, and the so-called "justice" system, but that does not stop me from groaning out loud every time they pause the story to let these characters wax poetic about the nobility of their jobs.

Strength: Thai Folklore

This show is teaching all of us some things about real Thai folklore about the garuda and nara, including local customs associated with celebrating these tales, and the depiction of these stories in the show is just beautiful. Despite it basically being a tourism advert (complete with couple shirts for no reason??), I really enjoyed the episode that took us to Nong Khai and the Mekong River to see how modern Thai folks interpret and celebrate the myths at the center of this show’s story and ground us in something real.

Weakness: An Underdeveloped Take on Toxic Masculinity

This show uses violence quite a lot in its story, including violence in interpersonal dynamics, and it sometimes seems to want us to be alarmed by uncontrolled male anger, and sometimes impressed by it. At this point, Tharn and Phaya have both struck each other in anger during personal disagreements, and there hasn't been any real reckoning with the fallout of that. On top of that, the show has given us some crime cases that highlight the harm of toxic masculinity while also seeming to glorify and revel in it, most notably in the framing of a man who kidnapped and retraumatized sexual assault victims as a hunky folk hero. It's a confused take, to say the least, and I'm not sure the show has the depth and precision necessary in the writing to take on some of what it's throwing at the wall.

Strength: Villains

All I can say is Heng was born to play an evil snake god. The show has done a good job at making him feel like a real threat and building the antagonism between him and Phaya to the point where Phaya has been isolated from support and made to look crazy in front of Tharn. Dr. Slow Motion is very good at this.

So, what's the TL; DR? This show is a lot of fun, but has some obvious weaknesses in the writing, so do your best not to take it too seriously if you can. I am ready to see Phaya and Tharn get together and finally start working as a team, for the full backstory and epic battle they are waging to come out, and for the motivations of the rest of the cast of characters to become clear (I just know there are some additional past life reincarnations waiting to be revealed). It's a great time if you don't think about it too hard, and I really hope the back half will pick up the pace so that we can all just enjoy the ride.

[velvetvexations]

this is pretty venty i apologize in advanced but I feel like transradfems literally dominate trans spaces at this point… cant follow a trans meme page on instagram without being hit w some theyfab shit, literally sought out meme pages ran by transmascs only to see post after post abt how transwomen get worse treatment so thats the only issues they should talk about; cant follow important trans archives without every comment section being full of discussions about only transmisogyny and tma/tme and how transmen and tme enbies are violently trans misogynistic , literally anytime Ive ever mentioned anti transmasculinity the only responses I get is from transradfems telling me “trans misandry” isn’t real and then pulling some “yall just hate a tranny that disagrees with you🙄” when you try to argue w them. Cant try to follow hardly any lesbian/transbian pages without seeing “MEN DNI” (im multigender and while im not necessarily a man my experiences are v similar to trans mens so this always pushes me away). A few of my transfem friends have shared memes about “theyfabs” and “she/theys”, and how pronoun circles are just for when someone “clocks u as tranny” Literally just saw someones profile that said “Cis people/tme people: GIVE ME MONEY GIVE TRANS WOMEN MONEY” which like… idk am i the only one that feels weird about “tme’s” being constantly grouped w cis people? Idk im just so exhausted,, i dont even know how to verbalize my feelings anymore but… idk i feel like this upsurge of radical feminism will never end and Im gonna have to live the rest of my life being afraid to have a voice for myself in queer/trans spaces. It means a lot to see you and people like my gf rooting for us but it feels like such a small minority lol. Idk what else to say im too sick and tired to get my thoughts together but thanks for what you do, hope ur taking care of urself <3

Ugh, all of that is really infuriating, I'm sorry anon. <3 I'm in your corner.

[yuttikkele]

please tell me more about gen z lotf au 🙏🙏

OFCCC!! i wrote a lot more about this than i thought i could, and i feel like i could keep going but i do wish to go to sleep! ty for the ask! (there was also an anon ask with this question, idk if it was you, but i'm just gonna answer this one lol)

the choir boys all know each other irl (obvi they still have choir together). everyone lives roughly in the same vicinity, but no one knows that.

they all met online during the pandemic. possibly through video games, twitter, or tiktok

how did this ragtag group of people all become friends? idk fortnite probably

i don't know much about fortnite, but it seems like it would start some friendships and/or rivalries. maybe minecraft or roblox too.

how they met and became friends is hazy, like how the beta kids became friends in homestuck. point is: they're all friends. pretty much.

some boys are closer friends than others, but they're all mutuals. they're all in like the same community. what community? that is a good question i should probably think of an answer

piggy uses the nickname people bullied him with as his online name. he gets cyberbullied and has ended up on many a cringe account, but it doesn't really bother him anymore. he likes to spread information, but he was a little self-righteous about it before he quit twitter. now he argues with people on instagram. piggy's also a redditor.

ralph usually just watches other people's content, but sometimes he'll post something and it'll get pretty popular because he's ralph and being well-liked is an innate part of his character. ralph does prefer to go out and do stuff than being online all the time.

simon is chronically online. being shy, he gravitated towards the internet. he's definitely a fandom girlie and has a tumblr (hi tumblr). he spreads positivity on the internet all the time. he's one of the good ones fr. i do hc simon as a Christian, so he does spread the Word a lot as an lgbtq affirming Christian dude

jack doesn't spend too much time on the internet. he also isn't allowed a lot of these medias by his parents, so that may have something to do with it. he does get upset when his posts don't get as many likes as ralph's

roger ragebaits and leaves hate comments all the time, but he has moments where he's nice. maurice memer obviously. sam and eric are the voros twins. i don't have too many thoughts about these guys just yet

they voice chat and sometimes video call

meeting each other irl for the first time led to the utter disgust at ralph's blindness in the fashion department

ok onto them reading lord of the flies cause i think this is such a funny concept

they all miraculously start reading lord of the flies as a class assignment at the same time

they all tell each other this and they're all like "loooool that's crazy we're all reading the same book at the same time"

i saw someone on my last post ab this say exactly what im about to say. it is truly the only way to go with this.

everyone's all "oh haha ralph's got the name of the first character AND he's blonde!" "piggy has the same name as peter's online name! haha how sill-" "WHY IS MY FULL LEGAL NAME IN THIS BOOK???"

the last person is jack btw if you couldn't tell

the exact names and character descriptions matching up a little too well with the boys startles them, but they still joke about it A LOT.

i mean, think about it, if you were forced to read this book in class and you find out you and your friends are basically the main characters, you would NOT stop cracking jokes about it.

"'ugly without silliness.' wow jack, william golding really DID put you in his story!"

they do start to get a little more freaked out when, yk, stuff starts going down in the book and they have to analyze it.

piggy's eventually like "OK we, or at least i, have got to figure this out." and he goes and does some research.

aaaaand that is all i can tell you for now :))

i do headcanon a lot of the boys as queer, but my hcs of them as gen z-ers do differ a little from my hcs of them as gen silencers.

piggy is a strict ally, his aunt is an ally, allies all around, until he realizes he is not so straight as he seems and is not really just an ally. bisexual

ralph knows nothing about the sexuality and gender biz he just does what feels right. he's pretty much demisexual/romantic tho.

simon is a gay dude. he is gnc and on the trans spectrum somewhere

jack is the only one using queer slurs, everyone gets onto him for it. he's gay, but he doesn't know it/won't accept it (because everyone in his life is HOMOPHOBIC!!!). when he does finally accept it, he is still using those slurs as slurs he is not reclaiming them.

[intersex-support]

(half vent half ramble about intersex, medical neglect, and the racialization of gender and sex binaries)

I am going to lose my mind. There is Something Wrong with my reproductive system. I know this much. It doesn't act how every single piece of (modern, reputable) medical literature I can find says is "normal". At this point I think the reason I can't get any doctors to take me seriously is because I'm mixed race. I pass white easily, and I'll discuss my symptoms with a doctor, show the physical, visible proof of endocrine weirdness on my body, and they look concerned, willing to discuss, in agreement that there's something weird. Then they look over my medical history and profile before doing anything in depth. They see I am biracial. They suddenly insist that everything is normal and that I'm overreacting.

I have some friends that are studying medicine, including one that has particular interest in intersex and general queer medicine (and has her doctorate even). She agrees that there's something different by any metric. All of them are in agreement that I likely have something unusual with either my reproductive system, endocrine system, or both. They all agree I should get proper testing but can't authorize it due too the ethical issue of them being my friends.

So I go to new doctors regularly and the cycle repeats every time. The oddities are only getting more apparent. How long will it be before people can put down their perception of different races as different species? There are differences between us. But they are not as drastic as people make them out to be. How strange must my body become before a doctor can no longer blame it on my mixed heritage?

I'm so tired of being Schrodinger's intersex. We need to put down the idea that traits can only be intersex in specific races. The amount of poc that are struggling from this is almost certainly larger than we can imagine. The only reason I think this problem becomes so obvious with me is because of my white passing biracial-ness. I feel like the canary, making it particularly clear how much the racialization of gender and sex hurts all of us. I'm so tired

Sending so much solidarity and support 💜💜💜

The amount of racism from doctors is so incredibly fucked up, especially when it comes to the racialization of gender and sex and how that creates so many barriers for accessing care. We've talked a lot on this blog before about how some diagnostic standards for certain intersex variations are just explicitly racist--hirsutism scales and the way that they're talked about, for example. There are so many ways that white supremacy works together with intersexism/compulsory dyadism and a key part of intersex justice is fighting against all these connected systems of oppression.

on this blog we understand that there are so many barriers to getting testing and diagnosis in the current medical system, which is one of the reasons why we support informed self-diagnosis. if you're at all interested in participating in intersex community spaces, InterConnect has online and in person peer support groups, including a peer support group specifically for intersex people of color. Know that you are absolutely welcome here, even if you don't have a confirmed medical diagnosis.

I really hope that you're able to find the answers you need--you deserve better than you've been treated, and I can absolutely imagine how exhausting the discrimination through this whole process has been. Please feel welcome to send in any more asks, whether you need resources, have questions, or just need to vent.

best wishes, anon 💜💜💜

[a-faggot-with-opinions]

Sending this in for the anons you’ve gotten that feel like they might not belong in the queer community or would be safer closeted: I’m an older Ace person who was on here during the height of the Ace Discourse. Sadly this kind of harassment and denial is not new.

I see a lot of parallels (“your oppression is just misdirected bigotry”, “you don’t need specific words because your experiences aren’t unique”, “other people have it way worse than you so shut up”, and “you’re not actually Ace, you’re just a few weeks away from realizing you’re a homophobic cishet”. Even “you don’t need specific flags or all of those labels. Everything you people make is cringe and terminally online or stolen from actual lgbt people”) and it does hurt me to see another group be targeted like this.

I just want you all to know that it’s possible to get through this. I can’t lie and say I don’t still feel a disconnect from my broader community, that I’m not still worried about getting harassed, that many Aces don’t still struggle with our feelings, but we’re still here. We’re rebuilding and still using our “cringe” specific labels, waving physical versions of our “chronically online” flags at pride parades, still talking about our history and refusing to be silent.

If you do feel like it’s safer for you to not have your labels or flags out in the open for a while that’s fine. You are not a bad person. You still belong here with us. You will always have a family in the queer community and for every person who tries to tell you the harassment you face isn’t real, that you’re just hysteric and trying to be “special”, there’s going to be another one of us wishing we could be there to help or comfort you.

Transmascs and Trans men, you are my brothers and siblings (and for my genderfluid and multigendered friends, my sisters if you prefer that!) I love you forever and I love seeing what you make for yourselves. Never stop being true to yourselves 🖤🩶🤍💜

Thank you so much anon!

[alarrytale]

Turning to you because you always brings interesting points when there´s a queer convo. Maybe I´m not even the only one who´s writing this. So, there´s a photos from G*mma´s book under the chapter Knowing me, knowing you? and unfortunately it may be taken from the larger context as author of the photo didn´t take the photo of whole page. So she writes: "I understand that many people feel strongly that queer parts in TV and film should go to queer actors. But to harass someone on social media like that, especially someone who is only 18 years old - and who described to UK V*gue the sudden and extreme level of fame the show brought them as ´scary´ and ´overwhelming´ - seemed cruel and sad, not to say very much against the spirit and message of the show. When someone uses a label for themselves it can be empowering, but nobody ´owes´ us a label. They should be offered, not demanded."

It´s obvious that she´s talking about K*t C*nnor and his experience of forced coming out but no doubt she also has his brother in her mind when writing this (especially the last sentence). I mean it fits the narrative when H used to keep telling in the interviews that his label is p-word and he won´t share it as he doesn´t owe it to anyone. What is your opinion to what G wrote? I guess your opinion on H´s label and his narrative how he came out to his family and friends and doesn´t owe it to anyone is just an elegant way to avoid this discussion? As he just can´t come out because of his image and the fact he´s S*ny´s golden goose who needs to stay straight as he´s been the only male singer-heartthrob in years and he needs to keep going like that because there´s noone who will replace his position.

Hi, anon!

Here is a longer quote:

Oh, boy. Where to start. Can i start by saying how tired i am of G*mma always taking the high moral ground and chastisising a group of people she doesn’t fully understand? I've lost count of how many times she's done this. She hasn't got the faintest clue what she's talking about, because she hasn't got the full picture.

Second of all, she's straight and privileged. What she shares with her mother and brother is the complete inability to understand their own privilege and view things from a minority and unprivileged position. Has she even tried to see things from other's point of view? Has she considered that she doesn’t need to have an opinon, as a straight person, on the topic of queer representation and queer normalisation and progression? Has she considered that a neuanced view, and understanding why queer people (she says "people", but who the fuck cares what straight people feel about queer actors in queer roles....) want and need queer actors in queer roles? Has she?

Has she also thought about how celebrities are chosen by popularity by the public to represent the public? And if you can’t represent, you should step down and give the opportunity to someone who can? We don’t cast white people to play indigenous people, why should we cast someone who is presenting straight to play queer? If you need time to figure out your sexuality, that's fine. If you don’t want to come out, that's fine. If you want to pretend to be straight, that's fine. But don’t take the opportunity away from queer people to have queer representation and role models! Queer people deserve queer representation. It's not that mf hard...

Aaaaanyways, no, nobody ows anyone a label. But if you are unlabeled or don’t want to disclose your label and at the same time presents straight, that means you can’t publicly represent anybody (except others who are unlabeled). The narrative around H being unlabeled is to create mystery and ambiguity around H as a person. He's gay and he's been out to everyone but the public since he was 16 at least. So, while it's a way to avoid the topic, it's also a way to be a blank slate and to be everything to everybody.

I just also want to mention how she's avoiding the topic of queerbaiting here, because that also plays a part of the outrage that Kit (and H) face. Funny that...

[dropoutconfessions]

Not an attack on other anons, mostly me trying to voice something for myself.

I don't understand how these parasocial things about cast members are happening. Maybe it's something weird about me, but I don't understand the thought process of Why it's happening.

I do acknowledge that Dropout's marketing DOES cater to this behavior, which is very Ew. But I can't comment on it further since I'm not able to speak on that.

I really like shows like Dirty Laundry and Monet's Slumber Party! Dirty Laundry with cast members I know or guests just feel like vibing in a room where a group of friends are bantering with eachother while I'm doing something else in the room. Slumber Party similarly, just with more people whose vibes I'm familiar with cause I'm queer and brown.

Like MAYBE I can see it being oversharing to an uncomfortable degree in some instances. But like I'm gonna forget the info or stories afterwards? The energy is fun in the moment, but I don't get like..having that info stick.

Yeah they're performers I like and/or starting to like through these shows. But I don't know em. I'm supporting them cause what they do is enjoyable and mfers gotta pay rent to keep doing that!

If there's something wrong with me I apologize tho. There's something happening that makes this a major issue in this fandom space apparently. But I'm just not seeing how it's happening.

-

[ftmtftm]

I wanted to say, thank you, for that post about people who have been harmed by other queer people. It's something I wish more people were able to come to terms with, and you worded it with a lot of compassion.

I have a question related to this post I guess... What about the opposite thing? What I'm talking about is, when a queer person feels they must never speak up about their trauma, in fear that sharing their story might be twisted, or taken out of context, to accuse them of being bigoted toward another group of queer people?

As you might guess, I'm in a situation like that. I've kept silent about something horrible another queer person did to me for almost 6 years. Because I don't want anyone to think I'm being bigoted against people who share their identity. It makes me feel like they shouldn't be ashamed for doing that to me, I should apologize to them for being abused. I don't know how much longer I can just hold this in. But I'm scared that no matter what I do, people will accuse me of being a bigot for speaking up about it.

I'm really sorry for saying all this to you. I just wondered since you made that original post, if you have any thoughts on this topic, or if you have any experience with similar things. Thank you a lot for reading this, really.

Of course anon! And no worries. I said what I did in the way I did, with such compassion, because I'm also extending that compassion to myself. I've also been in your position as well.

My best advice is to start by opening up to people who you know, know you - and know that you would not be the kind of person to be bigoted in the ways you are concerned about. It's not only okay, but in my opinion necessary for one's own mental wellbeing, to ask trusted friends and loved ones for support in circumstances like that.

It is immensely important to have a pre-established support network of friends/loved ones who know you and what has happened to you well if (and unfortunately likely when) things get triggering or overwhelming if/when you choose to speak about your trauma more publicly. Especially if you want to do so online.

Speaking from experience, being public about trauma that you are just beginning to open up about can be incredibly vulnerable and painful in unexpected ways. This is because it can be difficult to begin to truly process trauma until we remove ourselves from our own heads and talk through it with others, but doing so in an environment that isn't controlled or limited in scope in some capacity generally opens doors you're* not mentally/emotionally ready to go through yet. That is usually an unfortunately retriggering experience, I won't lie. It's generally best to build a strong foundational network first.

(*the general "you", not necessarily you specifically)

The fact that you care enough to worry says a lot of good things about your character though. You also approached this ask and this subject very kindly. If you approach the people you trust with the same openness about your concerns and subsequently your experiences, I think you're likely to find more support than you realize.

It's a difficult and often messy process to open up about your trauma, but it's one well worth going through. I wish you so much success in your recovery anon.

[dearweirdme]

Hi. Here’s the “company vs. Tae” in the LGBT context anon. Thanks for your reply. Just to clarify, I'm neither a hater nor a JKKr. I'm interested in understanding the relationship between the company and Tae. Thinking the company is either covering for him or being malicious is too simplistic. The dynamics are likely more complex.

Bang Si-hyuk’s personality remains a mystery. He keeps his personal life as private as BTS’s. We only know he’s 50+ years old, unmarried, with no children. His Instagram mostly features photos with his artists. His only revealed personal connection is J.Y. Park, whom he calls his teacher, brother, and best friend.

The concepts of freedom and self-acceptance appeared early in BTS songs, probably when they had little influence over song choices or concepts. The LGBT themes could be Si-hyuk’s personal agenda or his attempt to resonate with the younger generation. Additionally, Si-hyuk aimed for the Western market early on, and aligning with the LGBT agenda might have influenced his decisions for BTS.

I don’t doubt Tae’s personal choices are genuine, but it’s hard to believe he had much say in early BTS topics before 2018. Si-hyuk is listed as the first author of "Stigma." It's hard to imagine Tae confiding his real story to him for the song’s basis.

Thanks to those noting that the "Denver Nuggets" rainbow jersey is not specifically related to LGBT, though Tae could still wear it as an LGBT symbol. There are many factors to consider to understand the full picture.

Hi anon!

Ooooo, this is interesting! I always say that most things are complex and nuanced and I definitely agree that this applies to this situation as well. I’ll probably expand it a bit to all members and not just Tae.. since I think there are possibly more queer members than just him… Jk and Jm being the most obvious ones imo.

So.. my thoughts on Bang Pd and his relationship with the members is that it’s mostly performative. I think he possibly has a good relationship with some, and a lesser one with others. I do not buy that he is a father figure to them for one bit. I think that’s something SK’s love to buy into (parents of idols as well) because very often really young children are left to the care of the company the go to. A prime example is Min Heejin and Nj’s.. no matter what that bond actually is.. she’s not a mother to them.. and I dislike that portrayal. Ceo’s are in a position of power.. they place business first. Bang Pd in my eyes definitely always places business first. Him not having known Tae’s name for a ling time to me definitely shows that there was no strong bond between them. Tae has said other things that to me make it seem that bond never developed much.

Whether Bang Pd has personal motives for encouraging themes of freedom and Lgbt themes I find hard to decide on.. we just know nothing about the man. For all I know he could be queer himself and also closeted.. who knows. I think he bases his decisions on money. I think the reason why members aren’t able to be out is because it will lose them fans and money and status. It’s neither protection or malice in my opinion… I think it’s a business decision. I do think a queerfriendly approach is decided on.. in favor of a more western approach probably, but also because I think the members themselves want this and support this. I do not think they are without power these days. They seem to have power over their music, I suspect there’s limits to what they can do though.

With the place and status BTS members now have in Sk, and them having grown into men.. with voices of their own.. who probably no longer blindly follow what the company wants from them… I feel hopeful that maybe a new direction will be taken in the future (though perhaps that is wishful thinking). From both Jm and Tae’s projects I feel there is more freedom for them to enter queer spaces. Bang Pd’s focus will perhaps also shift to younger groups at one point.. which isn’t weird.. it’s business. And personally I don’t really mind that, since I think it will mean more freedom for the boys. Talking as a Tkkr, it’s not just them possibly being queer that is a problem… it’s them being together that’s a problem as well. Even if at one point they get more individual freedom, I think the freedom to come out as a couple isn’t anywhere on the horizon at this point. That isn’t just because of homophobia imo, but also a privacy and safety issue.

As for Stigma.. I agree, I hardly think Tae would have shared his story with BangPd… though perhaps Bang knew of Tae’s sexuality early on. It would kinda depend on which portion of the song was written by whom.. and who made which alterations. The changing of a few words can change the whole meaning of a song.. so I find it hard to say much about this without knowing the songwriting process. It’s a highly metaphorical song though.. it’s able to mean different things to different people.

In a nutshell.. I think Tae is queer, which is why we see queer related things from him. I think Bang Pd is well aware that having an out queer person (or several) in an idol band would not have led them to the succes they wanted. Aside from that.. being queer positive would make them seen progressive and speak to a younger and wider audience, which Bang Pd probably also realized.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, hi!

I've seen so many ARMYs mad and confused about JK talking non stop about Jimin during his lives. Jimin on the other hand never mentions JK (I mean recently). I really do not care even if they're married and have kids. But do you think it is safe for JK to draw so much attention to their possible relationship? I'm probably just paranoid, because SK is such a narrow minded country and what if something happens to them?

Am I being paranoid?

***

Are you being paranoid?

…kinda? I mean, for a lot of people, there’s a lot of daylight between talking a lot about your bandmate, gushing incessantly about a guy you’ve publicly called a dear friend for 10 years, and definitively coming out as being in a relationship with him. The reason I feel jikook are a thing is because of that quirk of that relationship plus a history of brow-raising behaviours that is most consistent with them relative to any other pairing.

But looking at it in isolation? Nah.

Some people might be confused because they feel JK’s behaviour with Jimin is unexpected, but most ARMYs I’ve seen already feel that jikook are very close (after hickeygate even the people most in denial about how close jikook are, had to rethink), and so they are more than happy to file away ‘JK fixating on Jimin during his lives recently’, into the ‘sus bro’ things jikook do without digging more into it, for whatever reason. JK can keep doing what he’s doing because most people in the fandom have determined that an official announcement or coming out is the threshold for allowing themselves to think of the members as being in relationships. Queer and not. It’s a bit silly, but I suppose in an effort to be respectful, people try to err on the side of caution by viewing all their actions through a kiddy, harmless, fraternal lens until explicitly told otherwise.

So yeah, I’d say you’re being kinda paranoid.

Then again, if you’re in a space where people are actually “mad” at Jungkook talking a lot about Jimin, then you’re probably in a space filled with solo stans / antis or rival shippers trying to mask, or homophobes looking for an outlet for that prejudice and anger. In which case, then I don’t think you’re being paranoid at all.

In fact, I’m nearly certain the second pattern you’ve noticed, of Jimin not mentioning JK to the same frequency (yet), only adds more salt to injury for them. Rival shippers and homophobes (especially closeted ones) are groups of people primed to see what we see, they just hate it. Lol. So JK going out of his way almost every Wlive to talk about Jimin or focus on him in some way, when the dominant narrative in rival shipping circles is that Jimin’s affection for JK is one-sided in the best case, or only fanservice in the worst - their narratives are being rubbished by the head joker himself. Effortlessly, spectacularly, and publicly rubbished to filth. Even the most delusional jikook anti has to feel a smidgen of embarrassment watching a JK live where he gushes about Jimin. It’s a shame these groups of people typically aren’t emotionally mature, because where a well-adjusted person would channel that embarrassment into rethinking their narratives, these groups of people seek only to lash out and punish the object of their obsession: Jimin.

And for the other Anon who asked me a few months ago about why taekookers/rival shippers and their solo stan peers are obsessed with Jimin, here’s your answer. Well, here’s one reason why:

They can tell Jimin is the obsession of the person they obsess over. They watch Jungkook too closely, too obsessively, to miss it. They can see how much Jungkook loves Jimin. And because they suffer from the illness of wanting a celebrity they obsess over to love them to the same degree, they hate the object receiving the love that in their minds is owed to them, or to someone they can easily self-insert as.

If you’re in a space filled with people like that I’m sorry to say but it’s a wasteland of lunacy. Get out. Flee. Pack up your skirts and run for the hills. Do it for your sanity, your hairline, and your internet service bills.

So yeah, there’s some risk people who are “mad” at JK, as you say, for talking about Jimin, could out them in a malicious detrimental way. You’re not paranoid about that. But I think that risk is small because people like this are ultimately cowards. Lol. They’re a bit insane yes but don’t have the guts to commit to doing any real damage outside of their tiny online spaces. So when you see people like that, I suggest you clean up the filth by reporting and blocking.

We’ll all be fine in the end. :)