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#anyway yeah just thinking back on the neglect as an adult really puts things into perspective
caffeinatedopossum · 2 years
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Getting sick as an adult and having the terrifying realization that when I would get multiple sinus infections a year from my "allergies" and my mom told me I would die if I didn't take my medicine even though I only felt mildly ill...
yeah turns out what she meant by that was not "sinus infections are very deadly" but was in fact "I will not take you to the hospital if this gets so bad that it starts to kill you and I cannot afford a dead kid on my hands"
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bitchthefuck1 · 1 year
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sorry if you've talked about this before but i really don't like when people are like 'there's no way kaz (or the other crows) is a teenager i had to imagine them as 30yr olds' idk if its because i read the books when i was 15 myself but even now (at 23) i don't really get the argument. i'd love to hear your thoughts on it
I made like a million and one posts about this on my old account back when season 1 came out, but basically yeah. I've always seen them as teenagers, and I think the whole "Leigh only made them teens for it to fit the YA market, they're really in their 20s" is kinda bullshit. Like, so much of where the characters are emotionally is directly tied to their ages and the story and their arcs just wouldn't work the same way of they were older. People will point out ways that they're emotionally immature or inconsistent or arrogant or don't seem to know what they want/how to be in a relationship and it's like. yeah that's cuz they're teenagers. That's not a flaw in the writing that's what being a teenager is like.
It also explains their almost absurd level of "yeah, we can do that" about genuinely impossible-seeming things. That kind of "I'll fight God idgaf" energy is really characteristic of teenagers to me because you're still figuring shit out and therefore don't have a set idea of what things are or are not considered "possible", so you're way more open to big risks and wild ideas.
And I know people always point to their skill levels as what makes this unbelievable, but these are a bunch of people who have been forced to develop a specific skill set at an absurdly young age basically at the expense of anything else. Kids and young people can really master complex things at a level most adults don't have, and are in some ways more suited to it, the problem is that it's almost always at the expense of a lot of other important developmental experiences and needs. We as a society generally agree that putting kids in the position where they specialize really intensely at a young age and neglect everything else is bad, so we don't generally do that, but these are kids who were put in that position on a basically life-or-death level and managed to survive.
That's in part why I'd really like to see soc 3 at some point down the line. Not just because I want more content or whatever, but because once you leave your teens and hit your 20's you're forced to confront all the deficiencies in your childhood and how things that you thought are just in the past are very much lingering and becoming impossible to ignore. It's a really intense place to be in emotionally and it's something I think it would be really fascinating to watch the crows have to navigate, on top of the fact that a lot of them have just achieved lifelong dreams and goals and now have to figure out what they want to do next.
Anyway, that went way longer than I thought it would, so TL;DR the crows are absolutely teenagers and the story is better that way.
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mytalemyworld · 8 months
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They are the most popular couple right now on social media, actually it's not very surprising since there is no love story happening in other tv shows so it's like there is literally no ship wars or something but…even if there was, I think they could still be at the first place.
You didn't ask for my two cents but I'll tell you anyway. The show is a complete mess. Nowadays the writers just don't waste any efforts on their scripts. This one is no different, there's so much craziness going on that I can't stop judging.
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So the main character Yaman (his real name is Ali Soysalan) was kidnapped when he was a child. Then he somehow ended up on the streets, grew up with three homeless children. (Cesur, Asi and Umut. Their names come from their characteristics I guess since they have no identity. Cesur means "Brave", Asi means "Rebellious/Rebel". Umut means "Hope". Yaman means "the person who doesn't give up, is strong") They become a kind of family. One day he finds out his real family and the story begins.
This might be too cliche, I don't care about that, but the problem is if you want to watch a heartfelt family reunion you may be very disappointed. After he reunites with his family, there is no bonding, no family time, no thought about how to spend their days from now on…The family find their kid and act like "so yeah, this is your family, stay in our home, these are your other siblings, let's move on." Come on! As a mother more importantly as a doctor mother, you just have to see the emotional damage and the endless gap between your kids.
And don't get me started on how Mother Soysalan announce the news to her other children: They just find out from the tv like the other citizens in the country.
Nothing makes sense, but let's just forget all nonsense and accept that this story is more like about a lost kid who turns back his home to get his revenge on the bad guys.
Btw, I am usually not that kind of person who comments on the performances of the actors but I don't know why, the lead actor doesn't make me really feel anything. The same actor also acted in Kardeslerim as Kadir a.k.a. the eldest brother, (this already looks like typecasting btw) however he is really not convincing here. There's a lack of chemistry with everyone, but this also might be a directing or a script problem because the other actors can't give any strong feelings in some specific scenes too. In short, I fast forward his scenes most of the time. The fact that his actions are so predictable doesn't help either.
So here comes the problematic part.
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They are twins but I prefer calling them Jessie and James from Pokemon.
Since The Council of Radio and Television in Turkiye doesn't care the degrees of violence shown or the importance of right labelling for tv shows, I shouldn't be surprised by how this show is tagged. I, however, will give you a warning. The show is dark, there is drug use, excessive violence, emotional abuse, family abuse, physical abuse…oh my, you can put any warning actually. The worse, they are not handled very well. Law enforcement, is there even such a thing in this show? No. Any law? No. Stupidity ever ends? No. I know they are portraying the underdog people so the violence part might be kind of realistic, but the adults are so frustrating when they can not do anything useful.
And these twins are suffering from childhood emotional neglect. (To be honest the half of Soysalan family must be in prison, the other half should see a therapist.)
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Alaz Soysalan, he is one of the problematic characters in the show. The younger sibling of the main character and doesn't like his newly found "big bro" (he uses this word with a mocking emphasis) because he sees him as the main reason for his lonely and motherless childhood. He doesn't know what empathy means, he just doesn't feel the others' pains unless the other party also goes through the same thing he does.
He definitely isn't likeable, but for a tv show where everybody shows acute reactions, his choices blend in the rest. Don't expect anything from him, he is a complete disaster.
I can overlook many of his wrongdoings because that's fiction, but I wish I had never seen the way he behaved towards his twin sister at the early episodes. I think it doesn't make sense since he is overly protective and possesive of his family.
Yeah, let's jump into the shipping part.
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She is Asi. Your typical tough tomboy. Thanks to growing up together with a bunch of boys, she knows how to deal with them. She swears, she fights. But she is also loyal and compassionate. She is unfortunately helplessly in love with Yaman. He isn't aware of her feelings and sees her as his family, his sister.
When she first meets Alaz, they don't have any important one-to-one interaction. They just don't like each other and naturally turn into enemies. But this is the slowest burn of the show.
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Like I said, he has lack of empathy unless he sees someone is hurt from the same pain as he is.
This is the moment he truly sees her because both of them are suffering from one-sided love. He realizes she's in love with Yaman and she knows he loves Rüya. Unlike the other people in the cell, she knows why he's frustrated and angry. Not communicating at all, they share something here.
I'm going to post more about them. They're the only interesting thing in the show. For the rest...meh. I usually adore family dynamics, but don't have expectations here after having seen the found kid part was badly written.
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neo-shitty · 1 year
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hope you dont mind me popping in to your inbox to scream abt whc1 bc you are truly the only person out of my friend circle that has watched it 😭😭 first of all
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facts. he can do no wrong.
second of all its been days and i am still processing like this has never happened to me before ?? usually i am a lil :// until the rest of the day when i finish a sad drama but with this im just so heartbroken still. yesterday during a big mental breakdown (unrelated to the drama i am not THAT crazy ok) i realised why it hit me so hard and i think its bc i somehow relate to sieun (anger issues and all /j) and so i somehow projected into his character and so when it all went down with suho i just couldnt deal w it ?? I LEGIT HAD A MINI PANIC ATTACK it felt like it was happening to me 😭😭😭 like he was such comfort for me. he broke the cycle of loneliness and stereotype for sieun and i just really adored each interaction they had. the fact that they would both kill and die for each other makes me bawl my eyes out.
but when it all comes down to it, i understand beomseok, i really do, but i also dont. i dont think ill ever forgive that character, i just cant. i cant imagine how it must have felt for him and i couldnt be able to deal w life either if i was in his shoes, but my brain just cant grasp the lengths he went to hurt people that did nothing but care for him and tried to help him with everything. he's a complex character for sure, one you have to analyze to get, but i dont have it in me to have a single ounce of sympathy after the ending of the drama.
but to think that the parents and the adults were truly at fault here ?? beomseok being abused, sieun abandoned and neglected, suho not really having parents around either (i read somewhere that they are canonically abroad or something?? not too sure), the policemen not taking sieun seriously at first, the teachers seeing the shit happening and not doing anything to stop the bullying... where were everyones parents when all those kids got caught up w the gang? its truly sickening and heartbreaking to think that this truly could be happening anywhere and to anyone.
and it broke me so much bc i could accept beomseok drifting away from them and stuff, but to gang up on suho on his fucking birthday? sieun cooking and decorating with young yi and taking pics for her insta (i strongly believe her and sieuns friendship is SO underrated they were so cute together) and both of them just hid it from everyone to protect suho,, their sunshine ??? the poor boy must have been so confused and lonely on his bday and it makes me :( and then when he saw sieuns cast and went to avenge him ?? I read something about how suho always fought only in self defence but when he saw sieun hurt he crossed the line and fought with the purpose of hurting somebody only bc his best friend was put in danger and that- that broke me.
also i find it funny how i found the drama through a clip on tiktok where jihoon cried at watching the last scene where sieun breaks the window and i was like oh this should be just the right amount of sad for me rn and then i got emotionally damaged. :,)
yeah anyways my fav trope is found family and FUCK all of those who hurt my sunshine bc now im forever heartbroken.
sorry for the rant toffee but it did felt cathartic to write this all out
bar, please don't worry about it. feel free to come back any time you have to yell about it and i'll try to get back to you as soon as i can.
sooho was just too easy to love. we headed into that show blind HAHA we should've known it was too good to be true! i never saw it coming actually.
same !! took me days to get over this too. *hugs* i'm sorry about the mental breakdown, i hope you're feeling a bit better now !! oh the projection must've made the whole thing twice as hard. again, sooho was such a comfort character :( his happy go lucky nature was such a breath of fresh air esp when the themes occasionally got dark. i want that dynamic for me actually (to kill and die for each other, yes). i usually find it corny but it was so well executed here.
oh bumseok :( i think it's valid to simultaneously understand him but at the same time, find what he did unforgivable. i get where he was coming from and how he was just looking for a place to fit in—where he wasn't looked down on. idk how to describe it but when he started misreading the situation (like that whole bit abt sooho not following him on ig but following young yi), i think something in him snapped. he was so fed up with being helpless at home and at his previous school that when it happened a third time, he did everything to get back and lashed out.
I 100% BELIEVE THE ADULTS WERE ABSOLUTE SHITTIEST NEGLIGENT FUCKERS AROUND. like???? leaving a scamming syndicate to be dealt with by high schoolers?????? bumseok's fake ass politician dad??????? sure, sieun's parents were 'present' but emotionally distant, like check on your kids bitches or not have them at all god dAMN. i thought some of the aspects of the bullying were exaggerated bc from where i'm from it never gets that bad but hearing that to an extent, it was truthful about it just left me dumbfounded. how could parents allow things like this to happen under the radar? it's unbelievable and heartbreaking to me.
yeah, i thought bumseok would just join his cool boy squad but he really had to do whatever the fuck he did :D my girl, i know you read my tags and i was vile as fuck towards him but at the time i was just so angry too. also yes! youngyi and sieun's friendship <3 i wish they had more time </3 and honestly, if bumseok didn't do a whole 180, i think the four of them would make such a cute squad. like the way they would protect each other??? hmp :/
'i read something about how suho always fought only in self defence but when he saw sieun hurt he crossed the line and fought with the purpose of hurting somebody only bc his best friend was put in danger and that- that broke me.' i saw that the other day and that broke me to fucking hell i could sell anyone's soul to see them together again (SPECIFICALLY, with the other one being fine and out of comatose yes i would love that for me.
ohhh, i've been meaning to watch that vid of them reacting to whc1 but at the time it didn't have subs. jihoon's acting was so fucking effective like??? the sadness the eyes of that man has can sway me to do anything !! so sorry that you got so much more than just a little sad bout. heading into this drama blind was like bringing a knife to a whole war.
this show made me realize that tragedy could strike any pairing on any show and i wouldn't bat an eye but have the same happen to a found family and then i'm instantly destroyed. THE SHOW ACTUALLY REMINDED ME OF YOUR CHENJI FIC????? FUCK. please do let me know if you ever get around to writing something related to them haha i'm ready to be destroyed.
please do not ever apologize for ranting especially about this show !! i went through this whole phase ALONE last year (watching it after christmas was the biggest mistake, i ended my year DEPRESSED as FUCK) so i'm offering as much help as i can.
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cqsuanla · 2 years
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fruit widow
tags: sfw mediocre gfs fluff, drabble, no plot just antics
note: hi people w depression this one was sponsored by the love of my life, brick
Nat’s on the couch in your house, feet crossed at the ankles on the coffee table and fancy tablet in her lap. You sigh loudly.
“It’s so great to spend time together,” you muse idly.
Nat ignores you pointedly.
“What a good girlfriend you are,” you say with another loud sigh, “I love to bask in your attention.”
“Five more minutes,” she says absentmindedly, scribbling away with an electronic pencil thing. “I know I said that five minutes ago. But I’m busy.”
“With what,” you huff, eying up your bowl of fruits. Nat got them, grumbling about the lack of vitamins in your diet. It’s really more that you need her to buy and peel the fruits for you because that’s the point of having a girlfriend anyway.
“Saving the world.” A hologram beams up from the tablet and you blink at it. It’s some kind of keyboard, actually. Nat’s typing furiously.
“With paperwork?”
“Yeah.”
You pick up an apple, looking at her again.
“You can eat that with the skin on,” Nat says before you even open our mouth. “I’m not actually your servant.”
With another heaving sigh, you slump onto the kitchen island and roll your eyes. “You’re just so good with knives.”
“Thanks, baby.”
You squint expectantly. “So…”
“I’m not cutting up your fruits for you.” Finally, she looks up at you, granted it’s a frowning deadpan. “You’re not a child.”
“No,” you say sourly. “I’m your neglected girlfriend.”
She snorts, already back to her world-saving requisition forms or whatever.
“You’re so…” You wrinkle your nose, prodding at the apple stem. “Ugh.”
“Descriptive.”
That’s it. You toss the apple at her head.
She catches it, still tapping at the pad with her other hand. Your sigh this time around is much more impressed sounding. Wistful.
“Your hand-intuition coordination is so attractive.” And then you throw a pear at her.
She catches it and drops the apple next to her on the couch so she can have her free hand for typing. Ambidextrous bitch.
“Stop throwing fruit at me,” she grumbles, waving a hand through the floating keyboard until it disappears. “You’re so needy.”
You smile winningly at her when she sets the tablet down on the coffee table and blinks down at the pear. She puts it next to the apple and gets up.
On her way over, she catches another apple, an orange, and dodges a fork with a scowl. “Stop,” she hisses, shoving the fruits back in the bowl, “It.”
“Make me.” You poke your tongue out because you are not a child. Instead, you are a grown adult who has missed her girlfriend very much. Even though you saw her yesterday. And she stayed the night. And she’s also been sitting through Netflix shows with you. Whatever.
Nat glares harder. She plucks a grape off from the bundle and it smacks you square on the nose. “You’re so fucking annoying.”
“Thanks, baby,” you say dryly, picking the slightly smushed grape off the counter and popping it in your mouth.
Nat watches with a wrinkle to her nose. “Are we done playing real life Fruit Ninja now?”
You perk up. “Can we do that?”
Nat just looks at you.
“Like,” you insist, swiping the apple before she can stop you, “could you slice fruits in the air? Is that possible?”
“No.”
“I think you’re lying.”
Nat takes your hands, pointedly manoeuvring the apple away while she’s at it. “Let’s go to the park. Since I apparently have to babysit you. Take you on walks. Like a dog.”
“Woof.”
Nat laughs and pulls you to your feet. While she heads off to grab your jackets, you slip a few fruits into your bag, along with a knife despite the fact that you’re sure Nat probably has those on her. Or a gun. Maybe she could shoot them out of the air.
You zip the bag up and nudge the bowl behind a box of cereal so she doesn’t notice what’s missing.
Nat comes back, draping a coat around your shoulders and her arm around your waist. “I’ll take the bag, dumbass,” she says knowingly. “And I’ll peel fruits and cut them into itty bitty slices and hand feed them to you, and if you throw them at me and they land on the floor, tough shit.”
“You’d kiss me even if I ate muddy, grassy apples?”
“Who said anything about kissing?” Nat shoves you out the door. “I might just abandon you on the side of the road.”
“You’ll give me a complex.”
“Great. We can match.”
You snicker and Nat’s lips quirk at the corners like she’s just humouring you, but you know that as her Look of Adoration. She spins her car keys on a finger, waiting wryly at the passenger door.
“Your carriage awaits, princess.”
“Thanks. Can’t believe I get my own uncharming prince.”
“Dick.”
You climb in with a cackle. Something bright and happy and warm blooms in your chest.
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just a wittle request, could you do something where bucky comforts the reader who has mommy issues after she has a panic attack over the thought of turning out like her mother?
Hi there, sorry this took so long! I still haven’t processed my own so I had to take a few breaks. I apologize if this is off the path of what you meant, I’m going off of my own experience but I know it’s different for everyone.
You're nothing like her.
Bucky x reader
Word count: 3219
Warnings: mommy issues, toxic childhood, talk of divorce, panic attack/anxiety, negative self-talk
A/N: This takes place in a timeline where Bucky is retired
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You did everything you could to avoid it. To avoid her
You left home as soon as you could. When you were in college you were surrounded by people who were homesick, people who wanted to go home, people who finally had to take care of themselves. Things you couldn’t relate to.
You had been supporting yourself most of your life. Not that you had much of a choice. Your dad left when you were younger, your mother blaming it on you. If you had been better, maybe he wouldn’t have left. You, being young, believed her. What else were you supposed to do, growing up in a world that preaches ‘mother knows best’?
Load of bullshit to you.
You knew better now, being an adult, that she didn’t know best. She worked or went out with friends and left you to raise yourself, telling you it was your fault when she neglected her responsibilities. And when you would get upset she would play the victim, crying ‘woe is me’ because you were so ungrateful to the person who raised you after you drove her husband out.
“You know it’s your fault right?” she had snapped at you one night at dinner. There was a graded paper, a B written on the top of it.
“What?”
“You’re the reason he left me. He just couldn’t stand you. You’re the reason why he left and why I’m so miserable now.”
You had felt tears in your eyes.
“Tears, really? Tears aren't going to change the fact that MY husband LEFT.”
Her husband, not your father.
No, you knew better now to know that what she had done and said was wrong. But that didn’t make you forget. It didn’t make it any easier for you.
You went to college, saved up as much as you could, and gave tight-lipped smiles when people asked why you didn’t go home on weekends or vacations. You tried not to talk about her much, but that didn’t stop you from thinking about her.
You had stood at your college graduation, caps thrown and loud laughs and cheers echoing around. There were a bunch of people celebrating around you, taking photos, but you had stood on the outskirts. You had a small smile on your face for everyone else, but you couldn’t help but feel empty inside. You hadn’t made many friends, not close friends, but that was a good thing. You could take the photo so no one was left out.
Not so much of a text from her. She hadn’t come, she hadn’t called or anything.
In a twisted way, you were glad that she hadn’t. She couldn’t make a big deal about how you weren’t the top of your class or how you didn’t deserve to be. How you didn’t have a job set up to start the next week even though you already were planning on submitting your resumes. There wasn’t a way to please her, so it was almost better that she wasn’t there.
You had texted her after a few days and she made up some bullshit excuse that she had forgotten to put it on the calendar.
She liked your Instagram photo though. So thoughtful
You worried you would turn out the same way. Or that she had rubbed off on you in some way. You kept to yourself as much as you could, staying in, keeping your emotions to yourself. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust people, maybe it was, but more so you were worried that you would seem like you were playing the victim.
You didn’t want to bother anyone or make anyone feel obligated to listen to you. You worried that behind your back they would complain about you being emotional or making everything about you.
You worried they would talk about you the same way you thought about your mother.
People are supposed to look to their parents to teach them what to be, yet you found yourself wanting to avoid everything your parents did to you. They taught you exactly who you didn’t want to be.
Your father left. Your mother hated you.
You didn’t share your opinions because you didn’t want to be told you were wrong. You didn’t want to force your ideas onto anyone. Not like what you said would make a difference anyway, not that it mattered in the first place.
You remembered all of the sentences you would start but not finish because no one had heard you. Trying to jump in a few times and eventually giving up when the conversation had moved onto a new subject. All the times people would interrupt or interject, making you feel like you didn’t have something to say that was worth hearing.
You thought it would get better when you got a job. But the pressure you put on yourself to do well in school was transferred to the job you had gotten. You still were afraid that people saw yourself as your mom used to and that you would never be good enough for anyone. You thought that achievements would make you feel fulfilled.
But if you didn’t believe in yourself, what were a few “job well done's” supposed to do?
It made it hard to get into a relationship. People say that “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else,” but that didn’t feel so true to you. It was more that you didn’t trust yourself to love someone else. You worried about hurting whoever you were with, and you told yourself that if you didn’t get close to anyone, you couldn’t hurt them.
But then you ran into him.
He was on a morning run and you were walking home from a night shift, both too tired to see each other coming. You because you had just finished a shift, him because he was running off the nightmare he had had the night previous. Both of you craving a sleep that seemed just out of reach.
You were very apologetic, as was he, both afraid that you had hurt the other. You avoided his eyes even though they were trained anywhere but your own, as he fiddled with his gloved hands and you scratched the back of your neck.
It was the first time either of you had seen someone as unsure as yourselves
You had parted ways with only each other's names. Bucky and y/n.
The two of you crossed paths a few times in the following weeks, eventually getting each other’s phone numbers and agreeing to meet for coffee rather than hoping the other left at the right time. Eventually, the subtle nervous tics each of you had died down as you got to know each other.
For the most part.
You still overly apologized for everything. If you were a few minutes late, if you spaced out...you took the blame for everything.
Traffic had been bad, a storm and an accident causing you to be 5 minutes late rather than 15 minutes early. You had run into the coffee shop, scanning the restaurant with wide eyes when you saw Bucky sitting there casually.
“I am so so so sorry, I should’ve left earlier, there was an accident, I’m so sorry I’m late -”
“Y/n, don’t worry about it,” he had said, a smile on his face and a slight flash of concern on his face. “Seriously, it’s a couple of minutes. It’s literally fine.”
“No, I’m really sorry, I should’ve known or called or something.”
“Relax. It’s totally fine, I promise,” he had said, concern a little more present on his face. “Are you okay though?”
“What? Yeah, I’m good. How have you been with everything?
You wouldn’t let him talk about you. The same way your mother never let you talk about yourself.
Don’t think about her.
He had started opening up to you but you still kept your personal life under lock and key. Your name, how work was, and your physical well-being was about as personal as you got. Even so, if work had been a shit show or you had to pull an all-nighter would go unspoken. He didn’t need the burden of your personal issues. Not when there was nothing he could do about it.
The past was the past, you just had to learn how to get over yourself.
You couldn’t change what your mother had said over a decade ago.
You worried if you talked about yourself at all then you would be making the situation about you. You worried you would project your anger or sadness onto him. He didn’t deserve that. Plus, it wasn’t like he would be able to do anything, right?
You promised yourself you wouldn’t let him get too close. That if he didn’t get close to you, you couldn’t hurt him.
But damn, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t start developing feelings for him. And from the way he had started acting, you thought maybe he was too.
The hugs that were ever so slightly too tight or when he smiled at you a little longer than normal. He had opened up to you about many things in his past, and from the way he talked about it, you could tell he hadn’t talked about it much with anyone else.
You found comfort in your friendship, the way he trusted you. You liked being there for him, and you were honored that he trusted you enough to open up to you. Yet it also made you uneasy that you would ruin it in some way or drive him out.
The same way your mom drove out your father.
Goddamn it don’t think about her.
The closer you got and the closer you and Bucky had gotten, the more nervous you were. That you would turn out like your mother. You were having a harder time keeping to yourself, keeping up the façade that everything was all bright in your world. You wanted to be a light for everyone.
But at some point, days turn to nights and the light gives way to the darkness.
And you weren’t sure how much time you had left before you cracked.
Bucky had started making small moves towards you, and you were trying your best to deflect them in efforts to not fall flat on your face for him. He came over Wednesday nights for a movie and take out with you, and what started as being on two opposite ends of the couch had moved to being next to each other to him having his arm wrapped around you. Sometimes you felt he was a little too close and you would either shift away or get up to grab another drink or ‘use the bathroom’.
When you came back you would make an attempt to sit a bit further away.
Sometimes when Bucky would say goodbye at the end of the night he would hug you. That was nothing new, you were both big on hugs, but lately, he had been hugging you longer or tighter, lingering a few moments longer than could be platonic. You had started ending the hugs earlier, giving him a small squeeze before pulling away.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be with Bucky. It was that you were so scared that you would drive him away, leaving you as soon as you had started calling yourself his.
Which is what brought you here. Bucky had come over for another one of your movie nights and had his arm behind the couch rather than around you. An invitation for you to curl into his side, but he wanted you to make that choice. Eventually, you had found yourself curled up with him, his arm wrapped around you, and you could feel the tension.
You wanted to move away before you found yourself in too deep, but you couldn’t resist. It had been a long day and you found comfort with Bucky. Bucky turned his face slightly towards yours, kissing the side of your temple and you felt butterflies in your stomach. Your mind told you to shift away, to not let him get too close, but you found yourself turning your head towards Bucky and he leaned forward to kiss you gently.
After a moment you broke away, emotion taking over you. “I’m sorry, Bucky, I - I can’t do this,” you said, resting your forehead against his.
“Why not?” Bucky whispered, looking into your eyes.
Because I’ll hurt you.
I’ll disappoint you.
I’ll drive you away and I can’t lose the best thing that’s happened to me.
You sighed, standing up and moving away from Bucky. You couldn’t say those things to him out loud. Not without the entire story. And you weren’t ready to share all of that with him.
Bucky stood up with you, afraid he had just ruined the friendship or whatever relationship he had with you. “Y/n, wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
You had already left the room and couldn’t really hear him over the sound of your thoughts.
This wasn’t supposed to happen
I wasn’t supposed to let this happen
How could I be so stupid?
You were feeling tears in your eyes and Bucky followed you, afraid of what he did. Your breathing was picking up and you had started mumbling some of these things to yourself.
“Y/n, what’s happening, what did I do?”
You shook your head “You didn’t do anything, but I need you to leave, please,” you said, trying to hide your emotions. You hated being like this.
“I’m not going anywhere y/n, just tell me what’s wrong.”
“Get the fuck out of here Bucky! I don’t want your help!” you snapped suddenly, Bucky looking taken aback before your eyes widened.
“Oh god…”
You shook your head and started crying harder, stumbling over your words. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I didn’t mean to yell, I’m so sorry Bucky please don’t leave I'm so sorry.”
Bucky came forward and hugged you gently and you cried into his shirt. He whispered comforting words into your ear as you tried to breathe, embarrassed at how vulnerable you were being.
Bucky kept his breathing slow and even, trying to get you to match him. He had no idea what was happening but he knew he needed you to calm down before he asked. Whatever it was had to be something deep, and you weren’t in the space to talk about it right now.
He brought you over to sit on the corner of your bed, still hugging you as you cried. You were mumbling out apology after apology but Bucky wasn’t having any of it. He kept hugging you, telling you that he wasn’t going anywhere and that you were safe. He had never seen you so upset, or upset at all to begin with.
After you had calmed down a bit, Bucky asked you again what had happened. You shook your head, not knowing what to say.
“I’ve opened up about so many things to you, right?” he pulled back to look at you.
You nodded slightly.
“And you’ve never judged me for any of it.”
You shook your head this time.
“Then why can’t you let me do the same for you?”
You took a deep breath, fiddling with your hands. “I don’t wanna hurt you,” you said, not meeting his eyes.
Bucky drew his eyebrows together, still confused. “Y/n, you’ve been the nicest person I’ve ever met. How would you hurt me?”
You were already shaking your head. “No, see, that’s what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna be nice and sweet and...and I’m gonna fall in love with you, and you’re gonna fall in love with me. A-and then I’m gonna let you down over and over again and snap at you for things that aren’t your fault and...and you’ll get sick of it and leave and I’m going to hate myself for it, okay?”
“Hey, hey, slow down,” Bucky held your shoulders as they started shaking. You brought a hand to cover your mouth, Bucky hushing you again. “What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?”
You took a shaky breath as you ran a hand over your face. “I’m just like her, Bucky. I told myself I would never let myself be like her…”
“Like who?” Bucky asked, blood already boiling at who made you feel like this.
Her.
You weren’t supposed to think about her.
You promised yourself.
“Y/n, stay with me here,” he said, guiding your face back to look at him. “Who?”
“My mother.”
Bucky looked at you for a moment. “What?”
“You know, mothers bring you into the world. They say a mother knows when something is wrong with their kid, that babies are put on their mother’s chest because the skin-to-skin contact starts the bonding process. They’re supposed to protect you, and love you, and take care of you. But then you start to get older and it’s your fault that you were born when you didn’t ask, or your dad left and it’s your fault before you even knew he was gone. All I wanted was to be told what to do and all she would do is tell me what I did wrong. I can’t be like her and the older I get the more scared I am that I’m going to hurt everyone the way that she hurt my father and me.”
You had started crying again as Bucky looked at you, both broken-hearted and furious that someone would make you feel this way. Not to mention it was your own mother.
You took another shaky breath. “I thought the world of her when I was younger. And she barely even gave me the time of day. I keep telling myself that I’m not what she thought of me, but what if I am?” you shook your head again. “And I am so scared that I’m just like her.”
“Y/n, look at me, I need you to look at me when I say this, okay?” he cupped your face with both hands, wiping away your tears with the pads of his thumbs as he looked into your eyes. “You are nothing like your mother.”
You let out a small sob. “You don’t know her.”
“I don’t need to,” he said firmly. “You are kind and gentle. You work hard and you make sure that everyone is taken care of before you even consider yourself. You aren’t going to scare me away or hurt me.” He wiped fresh tears from your eyes. “You are your own person, your mother has no say in who you get to be. Who you are. You are not your mother, and you never will be.” he said, still holding your gaze.
You held his gaze a little longer, knowing he believed what he was saying. You didn’t, not quite yet, but maybe if he believed in you, you could too. You nodded slightly, giving him the smallest of smiles. “Thank you.”
Bucky returned the small smile. “You know I love you, right?”
“I love you too,” you said, smiling.
You meant it, and you knew he did too. And maybe one day, you would love who you’d become too.
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tags: @babydaddy-buckybarnes @buckys-blue-eyes @buckys2thicc @broadwaybabe18 @peggycarter-steverogers @im-sick-of-failing @barnesplums @bucks-bunny @mardema @abitgryffindorky @freigeistundanderes @thatfangirl42 @strawberrimae @sup--ernova
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a-libra-writes · 3 years
Note
Can you do a HC’s of a platonic Hosea x reader where he’s rescued her and brought her into the gang and is like a father figure to the reader? <3
yes ... . . 🥺
He literally just lectured Dutch about bringing strays home, and now look what he's about to do. Hosea saw you at the side of the muddy road again. For the past week you were either hanging outside town, doing who knows what, or scurrying past adults on main street. No one acknowledged you. You wore what could generously be called "clothes", though they were mostly tatters. When Hosea watched you, he wondered if he was the only one who bothered to stop and do so.
Your eyes made him think of Tilly, your jumpiness was like John, and that wariness as you looked to the horizon was like Arthur. With a heavy sigh, Hosea got some rations together and tried offering them to you.
If you were skittish, he'd understand. Lord knows the world was hard, especially if you weren't white. Hosea would be patient, though. If you quickly attached to him and whatever food and clothes he brought, that would break his heart a little more. As he started to get your trust and talk to you, he wondered who left such a clever but still vulnerable kid out here.
When it was time for the gang to move on, he found you. Offered you a spot with them, if you wanted. If not, they could take you somewhere you wanted to be.
Well, you weren't sure where you wanted to be. You hadn't known that for a long time.
When he returned to camp with you, Bessie gave him a glance, but she led you to wash up and got you some decent clothes. As you travelled with them, you started to learn about what they did and how they survived. It wasn't much different from what you were doing. And there was hot food, a place to sleep, some kids about your age ... Maybe you were safe here.
The adults are quick about making you useful, and you've got Arthur, John and Tilly to help you figure things out, too. Hosea likes to bring you along on his cons, since you think fast on your feet. He wouldn't be too keen on teaching a little girl shooting, but maybe it's a good idea for self-defense. And there's no neglecting your letters, you really ought to learn to read.
Yeah, Hosea would start parenting you pretty quick. Bessie would tease him for being such a mother hen, but she'd be the one wiping dirt off your cheeks and fixing your hair and reminding you to eat a little extra each meal.
When you do a good job, he'd reflexively reach to pet your hair or touch your shoulder. If you flinched away, he'd feel terrible and not initiate any contact until you did it first. Even if you don't mind it, he wants to be careful about your boundaries. He still doesn't know what situation you came from. The first time you give him a big hug, he totally melts. That's when he decides, no one is gonna hurt this kid.
The first time you cried in front of him, running to him for comfort and trying to explain what hurt, he gave you a huge hug. And that was the final nail. No one is gonna hurt his kid.
He drops whatever he's holding when you call him "pa", and it was totally by accident. He knows that. You kept talking, because you hadn't noticed, but he did. Hosea never forgot the first time you said it.
As you get older, Hosea trusts you with more complex cons and sending you out on your own. Compared to Dutch brushing off Arthur and John, Hosea listens to you and your concerns. There are times when he's been overprotective - again, especially if you're a person of color - but it's always been out of worry.
After Bessie passed, he relied on you a lot. You saw him at his worst, tried to get him to snap out of it, took the drink away from him and told him off. Told him you were disappointed. It was a lot of your influence that helped Hosea get out of that dark spot; he had to be there for you, too. You had friends in the gang now, and family, but you both were always the closest. He was the only one who bothered to care about a small, dirty girl huddled on the side of the road.
And when you're adult, Hosea still likes to nag and tease you, just like he bugs Arthur, John and Tilly. Dutch was always a little put out that you never attached to him so quickly, but he's glad you're so loyal and capable. You knock sense into his boys more than he can, anyway.
(Oh, and if Dutch ever made a weird or creepy comment as you were getting older and growing into a woman, Hosea would actually knock him into next Sunday.)
And by this point, the gang had grown quite a bit. Members had come and gone. "Hosea's girl" was basically your second name. Even if you looked nothing like him, no one questioned the relation. Nowadays Hosea's protectiveness only comes out if you do something really stupid or some boy started sniffing around. Yeah, anyone in the gang that's romantically interested is gonna have to go through him first ... and probably Arthur, too. He's basically your big brother, whether you like it or not.
You both also do small, kind things for each other. like families are supposed to do. He makes you tea when you're feeling down, you make sure he's feeling alright now that he's getting "old", you can tell him basically anything, he'll always have your back, and so on.
In his sappier moments, especially as he's gotten older, Hosea's told you how grateful he is for your company. He's lucky to have you for a daughter.
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iwadori · 3 years
Note
hello! I love your works so much! Can I request an angst to comfort scenario for #21 on your prompt list?
“It’s my fault for trusting you”
Feel free to use whichever character(s) you like!!
When the haikyu boys neglect you for another girl PT 3
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Part One Part Two Part Three Part four Part Five
Word Count: 2.7K
Genre: angst,fluff
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Akaashi
You and Akaashi were beautiful people
Probably the most attractive pair of young adults that anyone can find
You were both top tier models in the industry
You always had a little rivalry between you but you always promised each other to never let it affect your ‘relationship’
“Beautiful darling, your beautiful” praised your photographer as you finished your shoot giving you air kisses on your cheeks. You thanked him and the rest of the staff and entered your dressing room sighing.
“Rough day?” Asked a voice, startling you a bit. You looked up to see your boyfriend, Akaashi Keiji sitting in the corner of your dressing room on a love seat.  
“Gosh Keiji you scared me” clutching your chest dramatically “But yes, the day has been tiring Fabio has really been overworking me lately” you complained. Akaashi walks towards you and gave you a peck on the cheek “Aww poor baby” he cooed mockingly, “but don’t worry ‘bout it Y/N your sucess will be all be worth it eventually” he says making you smile.
“and besides, you’ve got a shoot with me soon anyways” he winks, making you chuckle. You finished removing your make-up as Akaashi tells you about his shoot today and Bokuto’s (your fellow model friend) antics.  
You and Akaashi first laid eyes on eachother when you were both up and coming models, you both are under the same company. At first, both of your agents decided to make you spend time with each other to push the narrative of you being a couple anyways. However, since you and Akaashi had great natural chemistry it made your relationship great and made for a great photo too.  
As much as the public loved your relationship and the saucy photos you tend to make together, they also thrived of the slight rivalry you guys had together or the times when you guys bother shot with other people (since it was easy for a fan to make a new ship off of two people literally standing next to each other.)
You spent the next day having what you and Akaashi called a ‘rest day,’ you both specifically clear your schedules for every 2nd and 4th saturday of each month to not do any work-related for the day and just bask in each other’s companies (as you were both busy and barely got enough time to see one another.)
You watched multiple movies, made your own homemade cookies and dinner, had pillow fights, built forts. You both were having so much fun, until you both got a call...Just then, the vibe changed you went from your free-spirited fun selfs back into work mode.
Your agent told you that two brands *Insert big fashion designer brand here* and *Insert another big fashion designer brand here* were having some form of standoff. To be honest, you didn’t really care about the context of the shoot(s) in this case, as your agents call ruined your day. They wanted you and Tsukishima Kei, to do some competing shoots and promotional videos for their brand against the other designer.
After getting all your information from your agent, you go back into the living and see Akaashi sitting down thinking deeply about something. “What was your call about?” you inquire sitting down next to him.
“Oh just some silly designer brand competition thing.” he mindlessly replies, still thinking deeply.
“Yeah same. So what’s got you thinking all deeply then?” you ask
“My fellow model is going to be Kiyoko Shimuzu” he sighed, making you blink repeatedly before immediately saying “You can’t do the shoot”
Kiyoko Shimuzu was japans beauty. Everybody loved her, she’s been a model since she was a child everyone wanting a grasp on her looks. The guys wanted her, the girls wanted to be here. Kiyoko Shimuzu was a force to be reckon with.
The real problem at hand wasn’t her stunning looks, popularity and fame. It was her connection with Akaashi. Before Akaashi went big and met you, he was Kiyoko’s boyfriend (well ex-boyfriend now) and they broke up because of long-distance or something like that.
However, to you, Kiyoko’s feelings for your boyfriend have never went away. Whenever you guys bumped into each other at red carpet events or runway shows, she always seemed to linger a bit too long around your boyfriend, which definitely wasn’t to your liking.
Akaashi lifted up his head from inside his palms and looked at you as if you had grown another head. “What do you mean, ‘I can’t do the shoot’” he asked in disbelief
“I mean, you can’t do the shoot” you reiterated not understanding why he didn’t understand.  
Akaashi sighs before putting his face back in his hands to think, “Well I know you got to the shoot aswell Y/N who’s yours with.”
“Tsukki” You said nonchalantly say as if it was nothing, making Akaashi look at you again as if you were fully crazy before he had a chance to speak you cut him off saying “Don’t even start Akaashi.”
You and Tsukishima Kei, have best friends since you were kids. You weren’t romantic in any way shape or form, well at least you weren’t. Akaashi always claimed that that Tsukishima was in love with you, that you and Tsukishima were the perfect example of every ‘childhood friends-lovers trope’ ever, which to you wasn’t true. Everything between you and Tsukishima was and still is completely platonic which you can’t say the same for Akaashi and Kiyoko.
“You’re not doing the shoot” he says firmly as if he was your father.  
“Oh so you can do your shoot with your literally EX GIRLFRIEND, but I can’t do mine with my best friend... yeah make sense” you say standing up, astounded.
“Y/N chill, If you’re so adamant about me not doing it with Shi- Kiyoko, then I wont” he says pulling your arm down making you land on him “and you better not do it with ‘Tsukki’” he mocked.
“Okay so none of us are doing the shoots?” you ask looking up at him  
“Yup” he says  
“Pinky promise,” you joked sticking out your pinky in his face.
“Pinky promise” he agreed hooking his finger around yours.
For the next month it seemed you were booked busy, you barely got to see your boyfriend as his agent had him running around all of Japan and even had him booked in some places in Europe for this month. Of course, you missed him, but you understand how busy it can be doing your line of work. You’ve been quite busy too, doing the usual shoots and runways.
Although he was busy, Akaashi basically went radio silent on you. You still expected him to reply to some of your messages or at least call once or twice when he had the chance, since he must have 10 minutes of break time and that's the bare minimum.
It’s been two weeks since you last saw Akaashi (and that was on your saturday rest day) and you were expecting him to come over today so you could have another. Since of course, Saturday ‘rest days’ were basically a tradition for you and Akaashi before you even started dating.
You had no text from Akaashi explaining his lateness/absense, so you just figured he wasn’t coming putting a damper on your day. You spent the day lounging around and shoving your face with your favourite snacks and food.
You get a text from Tsukishima which read:
Tsukishima: 1 Image Attached  
Tsukishima: Looks whose boyfriend stumbled on set...
You didn’t respond as you were shocked at the sight you saw, the image was a picture of Akaashi and Kiyoko on set doing shots for the *insert the other rich designer brand* the shoot that you both agreed you wouldn’t do, which was also a LINGERE brand.  
You felt betrayed, you both agreed to not do the shoot and it’s not like you did do yours. You made sure to turn it down the day you made your agreement. And he skipped on your traditional saturday ‘rest day’ without even giving you any word of him not planning on arriving.
You didn’t know what to do, do you confront him about it? Or do you wait for him to approach you? Since he would plan on telling you about this right? You eventually messaged Tsukishima a ‘thanks’ and you decided how you were going to handle the situation. Pop up on Akaashi and Kiyoko at the photoshoot.
You knew where it was at, since you had the address already from when your agent first offered you the idea. You drove to the place in a breakneck speed, strutting in there like a woman on a mission (which you technically were.) You decided to wait in Akaashi’s dressing room, not wanting to cause a scene at the shoot which would be bad for yours, Akaashi’s and Kiyoko’s image and would be a waste of the time of the staff and photographer there.
Akaashi finally finished the shoot and entered his room with a sigh not realising that you were sitting in the corner of his room. “Did you have a rough time?” you ask mockingly making him jump and his eyes widen as you were the last person he expected to be there. “Why so shocked, you weren’t expecting me?” you still keep the same mocking tone in your speech.
“Y/N I-” He started  
“Y/N what?” You interrupted “Y/N I’m sorry for basically ghosting you for a month? I'm sorry for doing a shoot with someone who I know is still in love with me? I’m sorry for lying to you? I’m sorry for skipping out on our rest day with no explanation on where I am?” you stare at him as he stares back speechless.
“Oh, am I missing something?” you continue “Oh yes ‘Y/n I’m sorry for doing the shoot that we both agreed that we weren’t doing’” you sit down and wait for him to reply.
Akaashi puts his head down in shame, not really knowing what to say. Because of his silence, you roll your eyes and get up fed up with his lack of explanation. Before you fully leave Akaashi blocks your way with slight tears in his eyes “I had no other choice Y/N, I had to do all those shoots and travel other places with Kiyoko because sh-”
“Wait, that’s where you were?” you shout “Gallivanting around the country with HER!” you extend your arm pointing outside the door before you turn trying to leave again.
“N-No No Y/N you’ve got to listen to me” he said putting your hands on my shoulder “She has something, on me and I-I couldn’t I can’t get out of it. It’s deeper than just a simple shoot.” You were confused but you were so upset you just didn’t want to hear it so instead of listening to your boyfriend you decided to say “you’re so full of shit Akaashi” making him gasp at your coldness and the use of his last name. “ but hey I guess thats my fault for trusting you”
You finally left the room and went to go get a breather for a second with tears sparking in your eyes. You leaned against the wall and whispered “fuck” frustrated with the whole situation. Making you jump, Tsukishima said “you should go talk to him you know.”  
“What do you know Tsukki” he cringed at the nickname
“I know more than you Y/N, just go talk to him.” he said making you squint your eyes at him wondering what information he held.
When you walked back to Akaashi’s dressing room practicing an apology in your head. But you paused your arrival hearing Akaashi talking to the one and only, Kiyoko Shimuzu in his room.
“Let’s face it Akaashi, now that I’ve got this sex tape of us, I basically own you.” she said to him making your eyes widen.  
You decided the smartest thing to do was to pull out your phone and record as much as the conversation as you possibly could. Because you could already tell Akaashi was in a bind.
“The next thing I want you to do is...” she continued acting as if she was thinking “break it with Y/N!”
“No certainly not Kiyoko, you’re going too far.” he said making you smile internally that he still defended your relationship. “Me and Y/N are definitely NOT breaking up.”
“Akaashi are you forgetting that I have something over you.” she pulls out her phone and she plays a video, which you can only assume is the sex tape. You can hear a bunch of moans and groans which made your stomache ache.
Tired of hearing this, you burst into the room and say “What the fuck are you doing Kiyoko”  
“Oh Y/N how lovely for you to join us...” she said with a smile, “I was just discussing with your ‘boyfriend’ plans for our next shoots.”
“I always knew you were a bitch.” you say shocking your head at her.
“What do you mean Y/N?” she says with a fake smile, not knowing that you were listening in on your conversation “Actually Akaashi was telling me something he had to tell you... isn’t that right Akaashi.” you both looked over at him and he was scared and speechless.
“Oh you mean how you’ve been blackmailing him for the past two weeks...” you accuse  
“You have no proof of that.” She taunted  
“Oh do I..” you rebuttal then pressing play on the recording you just took watching as both Kiyoko and Akaashi look shocked. Kiyoko scurries out the room knowing she’s been caught leaving you with a triumphant smile.
You sit down, gesturing Akaashi to sit next to you. “Akaashi, I’m so sorry for not listening to you earlier I felt so betrayed thinking that you went agaisnt out agreement, but I guess I was just being a self-obsessed bitch” you say with you now looking down in shame.
“Y/N” he says with you still not meeting his eye “Y/N look at me” he lifted your chin up so you met his eye “It’s fine, It’s completely fine you didn’t know of course you didn’t know, how would you know of sex tape I unknowingly did back when I was 16!” he exclaims “Its fine, we’re good” he pulls you into a hug and kisses you on the forehead.
After you both calm down, Akaashi explains how Kiyoko started to blackmail him and how the agency loved the idea of them two being together (not the blackmailing) as it created a jealousy storyline between you and her and how every time they met she kept proposing ridiculous demands.
“Also, how did you know I ended doing the shoot?” he asks
“Oh a little bird told me” you tease  
“You mean a 6ft2 bird with blonde hair and a shit personality.” he retorts making you laugh  
“Heyy don’t be so mean, if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t of came to save the day.”
“True, I’d give him that.”
Eventually, you and Akaashi go to your agency and present all your evidence and claims that Kiyoko was blackmailing Akaashi. Although they were upset, that Akaashi did partake in a sex tape they knew that they’d be an even bigger scandal if you presented your news that Japans sweetheart Kiyoko Shimuzu was blackmailing Akaashi Keiji. So the agency thought it was in everyones best interest if they got Kiyoko to sign an NDA saying that she will never bring forth or share the Sex Tape to anyone and she’ll agree to be dropped from the agency.
Your life was great now, with Kiyoko off your back and Akaashi being back to his usual self you couldn’t wish for anything more. You ended up doing the shoot persuading the design brand person (whatever the name for it is) to agree to let you do the shoot together instead of with other people. Both brands let you, because who wouldn’t want Akaashi Keiji and L/N Y/N to do a shoot together?
AUTHORS NOTE: this is the longest work ive written for a single character and i am TIRED lol..I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed my other works so I hope you enjoy this one.. to be honest I think with my works I start off strong and end shitly :// However I wanted to do something different today by making them models instead of students so I hope you like it. Now im off to read some fanfic so you guys have a good day!! <3 
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sxdmoonchxld · 4 years
Text
Operation: Pop The Cherry | JJK
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Jungkook x Virgin!Reader
Genre: Smut
Warnings: rough bathroom sex, college au, unprotected sex, teasing, fingering, Jungkook has a virgin kink if you couldn’t tell by he title, lowkey sadistic JK, Gay BFF Jimin, mentions of alcohol and weed, brief mention of homophobia. bIG diCK Jungkook, more belly bulging, and I forgot what else
Word Count: 6.1k
Summary: Against you better judgement and thank to your best friend Jimin. You somehow agreed to let a stranger on campus known as the Cherry Popper, too well..pop your cherry.
Alternatively: You're a virgin. Jungkook has a fetish/kink for fucking virgins.
A/N: I guess i’ll keep putting this note until i stop reposting my old stories. I use to be lizardsocial, and this fic was previously called Game. You may still be able to find it somewhere on tumblr. I edited this fic heavily and it’s honestly a new story, but there are still some elements from the fic it used to be still in there. Unedited so please let me know of any mistakes or typos. Like, comment, reblog, let me know what you think. Enjoy!
_________________________________________
Bass boosted pop music seeped through the dense walls of the energetic room. Strobing bright colored beams danced to the rhythm of the music in mesmerizing synchrony. The musty odor of marijuana, booze, and sex-saturated air shrouded the room in a turbid veil, covering the sea of drunken undulating bodies packed in the cramped living room.  Empty beer cans and other various booze bottles mixed with burnt-out blunts accompanied the young adults. You groaned with irritation and disgust. You didn't want to be here, but to your chagrin, you had a promise to keep.
It wasn't a secret that the college nightlife was unquestionably not your type of 'scene.' You quite frequently elected to willingly engage most of your time in your freshman dorm, wrapped in your weighted burrito blanket. A nightstand stockpiled with all your favorite snacks, lights dimmed low, and lavender incense burning, filling your room with the aroma of relaxation. The perfect setting to binge-watch your favorite show for the umpteenth time, the shifting distorted brightness of your computer screen, projecting the scenes against your face. 
It's kind of funny how you got yourself into this mess in the first place. The one time you decide to take the chance and branch away from the alternate antisocial hermit, your personality had adopted as its own had come back to bite you in the ass. You admit, lately, you've been neglecting your best friend. Your reasonings generally varying from the classic 'oh I was sleep' to deliberately silencing your phone, not wanting to hear the constant shrill ringing of the default ringtone. You loved Jimin, you truly did, but you could only take so much of his eccentric mashup of bubblegum and rainbow sparkles that was his personality. Eventually, guilt began eating away at you piece by piece until you ultimately caved in and invited your friend over for an impromptu movie night in your dorm room. 
Not even 30 minutes into the movie, one that you had been dying to see, might you add, Jimin commenced his drunk and high chattering. He had already started 'pre-gaming' before he came over; Six shots of straight Vodka and 2 blunts. Every day you prayed for this man's liver and brain function; with how much he drank and smoke, you would think he needed it to function. 
"Oh! Oh! Bitttch. Did I tell you about that football player, I fucckked last week!" Jimin started slurring on certain words. You noticed his eyes were glossy and glazed over. 
"No, you didn't, Chim." You sighed, completely giving up trying to watch the movie. You would have to watch it on your alone time. 
"Reeaally?" Jimin slurred, a goofy grin uplifting his lips.
"Yes, really. You haven't told me." Amusement lightly coated your voice. 
"Welll, his name is T-tae, Tae-tae something. Hold on, it's coming to me." Jimin said, rubbing the sides of his temples, trying to remember the guys' name. 
"Taehyung! That's it!" Jimin shrieked, snapping his fingers in victory.
You looked at him startled. You remember Taehyung from high school. You didn't recall him being at this college, though. Well, it wasn't like you paid attention to many things outside your bubble anyway.
"Wasn't he homophobic as fuck in high school?" You asked, genuinely interested.
"Yeah, he was. Buttt I guess he was trying to cover up, that he was actually on the DL." Jimin smiled, whispering the last part.
"DL? What's that mean?" You inquired
Jimin looked at you with a look of betrayal. "It means he's on the down-low, meaning he didn't want anyone to know he's gay. Girrl, I'm too crossfaded to be explaining this to you."
You chuckled, " My bad, Chim. So was it good?"
"Fuck, no! Dick was straight trash. The only thing that saved him a little was that his dick was huge." Jimin said, wiping away a pretend tear from the corner of his eye. 
You laughed boisterously at that. If Jimin wasn't so adamant about becoming a professional dancer. He could seriously take up a career in comedy.
"Speaking of dick. When are you gonna get some?" Jimin asked, turning his body to face you completely. As you looked at him, you noticed his eyes seemed a bit clearer, and his face wasn't as red as earlier. Not only did Jimin drink like a fish and smoke like a chimney. He was somehow able to sober just as fast.
"Oh my god, Jimin. Please don't sta-"
"Mmm, no missy," Jimin said, wagging his finger in your face.
"Don't you hear it?" He said, cupping his hand around his ear as if he was straining to hear something.
"Hear what?" You replied, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms against your chest.
"The cobwebs and tumbleweed living in your cunt."
"Jimin!" You shrieked, slapping the arm closest to you.
"Don't Jimin me! You know it's true, I swear you're gonna be a 40-year-old virgin, and by the time you finally make the decision to have sex, it'll be too late!" Jimin yelled, stumbling to stand up from the couch.
"First off, ouch. I won't be a 40-year-old virgin. That's very insulting. Second, I do plan to lose it soon. I just haven't found the time or the right guy." You said, looking down at your feet shyly. You did want to lose your virginity, but with being an introvert with a mix of social anxiety and just a dash of seasonal depression for added flavor. It was hard even to get out of bed sometimes. Much less going out and trying to find someone to do the do with.
"Oh! Well, if that's all, then I got you covered, babe. Time? Next week Friday at Jihyo's dorm. As for the right guy, I know a dude. He has like a kink for that kind of thing." Jimin answered nonchalantly, now scrolling through his phone, probably on his social media page.
You looked at Jimin, head tilted to the side, confused. "What kind of thing?"
"Oh, you know fucking virgins and shit. Popping their cherries." He said, popping his "P's."
You sputtered, exasperated. What the fuck. You didn't kink shame, that was for losers, but he can't seriously expect you to do something like that.
"What the actual fuck. Jimin, are you serious?"  
"Deadly." He said, looking you square in your eyes. His tone of voice haven dropped an octave lower.
"Jimin no. I-i can't."
"Jimin, yes! Err, I mean _____ yes, you can! Come on, it's a once in a lifetime experience. Plus, it's not like he's a total stranger. I've known him since he was 8 years old. I use to babysit the little shit head." Jimin said, waving his hand in the air, trying to swat away a rogue fly.
"Wow, Chim. You know, now that you put it like it makes me feel a lot better about the situation." You said tone dripped in sarcasm
"Really?" Jimin squealed, a delighted twinkling in his eye.
"Of course not! Don't be stupid!" Offended, you gawked at Jimin. You swear sometimes he could be so dimwitted.
"Come on, please? At least meet him, and if the vibe is not right, then you can leave no harm done." Jimin pleaded, his attention back on you. Was it crazy that you were actually thinking about agreeing to this? Jimin did have a point. It was sort of a once in a lifetime opportunity. He did know the guy, and if you didn't like the vibe, then you could just bounce, right? Right?
Sighing in defeat, your hands dragged down your face and turned towards a pouting Jimin. Grabbing at his deflated shoulders, you shook her lightly, and with urgency in your voice, you spoke, "Alright goddammit! I'll do it, but you have to stay by my side the whole time, no running off, you understand!" 
You watched Jimin's face quirk into a sly smirk. You swore you could see the cogs in his brain churning. Damn, you were going to regret this. You had the tendency to make deals when pressured. Most of the time, those agreements ended up backfiring on you, confining you in the proverbial rock and a hard place. 
"Yay! Operation: Pop _____ Cherry has commenced. Okay, so will meet at the auditorium on the art campus. From there we will walk to Jihyo's dorm, it's only five minutes. Promise me you'll actually show up and won't flake on me." A complacent expression rested arrogantly on Jimin's features, a single pinky finger extended towards you. 
"Don't give this situation a not-so-secret code name. And I can't believe I'm saying this but, I promise." You agreed, interlocking pinky fingers, yours thumbs coming up to press against one another.
"So I'll meet you at the location Friday, don't be late, and wear something sexy. No granny clothes." he chirped, making his way to your front door.
"Wait! You're leaving already?" you frowned, looking at the clock on your wall. He's only been here for an hour, and 30 mins of it were spent persuading you to hurry up and lose your virginity. You didn't even get to finish the movie together.
"Sorry babe, but I have a dick appointment." he shrugged, putting his arms through the sleeves of his jacket.
"Can you at least tell me the name of the guy who's supposed to fuck me?" you huffed, honestly you were done for tonight. As soon as Jimin left, you were heading straight for bed.
"Oh yeah, how could I forget." Jimin slaps the center of his forehead. "He's a real cutie. I would fuck him if he wasn't as straight as an arrow." Jimin looks off to a far wall, eyeing it with jealousy.
"Just tell me his name, please." You pleaded. Oh yeah, that's definitely a headache forming. You could feel it already. Jimin snaps out of his daydreaming and spins his body towards you.
"Jungkook."
Time skip to a week later, and precisely as you suspected, what a mistake that whole conversation was. Now here you were at this fucking dorm party with people you didn't know or care to get to know. Jimin had left you as soon as he saw his next piece of ass. Restlessly you hauled down the short black dress that insisted on riding up your ass, the soles of your feet protesting in the slim heeled shoes. Floundering your way into the packed building, you couldn't help but query where Jungkook was. Jimin was supposed to get around to send you a picture of the mystery man, but that never happened. Funny how now was the best time you decided to question why exactly Jimin was your best friend.
"Well damn, the pictures Jimin sent me doesn't do you justice at all. You're fucking hot." You recoiled from the closeness of the voice, the heated breath sending chills skittering down your spine, and the hairs on the back of your neck ramrod straight. Heat spurred to your face when you whisked around to meet an absolutely gorgeous guy. Like unfairly gorgeous guy. You stared wide-eyed, taking in his chiseled facial features, paired with wide doe eyes and bunny smile decorating his face. Somehow, someway he's mastered looked soft and sexy at the same damn time. And fuck was that a dangerous combination for your pussy. Your heart too, but more so your cunt.
"U-uh, thanks? Who are you exactly?" You watch as he recoils back from your with a look of apprehension on his face.
"A-are you not ____?" he stutters cutely. You think you can see the beginnings of a blush burning his cheeks. You nod your head once to confirm his question. He stared at you a minute longer before you see the recognition spark in his chocolate orbs.
"Jimin didn't send you my picture did he?" Shaking his head with his eyes close, you get the courage the scan his face a bit more. Yeah. He's definitely blushing.
"Sorry. I guess seeing you here, I thought Jimin would have...prepared you better." Shaking your head from side to side because your words refused to come out. You watched as he backed up a bit further from your personal space and thrust his right hand out to you. 
"The name's Jungkook, or J.K. Whatever suits your taste."
With clammy hands, you taking his outstretched hand marveled at how it almost covers your hand. Now that he's moved back from you, you now had to chance to see how tall he really was. Maybe about 6 to 7 inches taller. You look down at his feet and eye his combat boot, perhaps a little shorter but still taller. And big, yeah, definitely bigger. His oversized black jacket did little to hide the broadness of his shoulders and chest. You let your eyes travel down the length of his body. You bet he's hiding some killer abs under his shirt. And holy fuck, his thighs.
"You like what you see, baby girl?" Teasing, he's teasing but God, if his voice didn't make you pussy throbbing pathetically. Whimpering slightly, you let out a meek "Yes." God, you hope he didn't hear that.
Much to your dismay, he did, hear you. How he heard you with the music as loud as it was, was a mystery to you. But you watched his pupils dilate, and his nostrils flare slightly. Jungkook tucks his bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes rake up and down your scantily clad body. His heated stare scrutinized across your body, intrigue exerting over him, as he analyzed the way the snug-fitting dress molded to the curves of your shape. He could tell you didn't do this often. His dick twitched in his jeans with enthusiasm. 
It's the increase in pressure of your hand that makes you realize you're still holding his hand. You go to retract your hand from his. However, yelp shrilly as he tugs you closer to his body. Both hands now resting on his chest, and his wrapped around your waist. Fuck, you could feel the warmth and coarseness of his hands through your thin dress. A spontaneous tremor racked your body. The heat-transmitting from his frame mixed with the floral yet musky undertone of his cologne made you somewhat featherbrained.
"Fuck, you're so soft." You squeak as he squeezes your waistline, pulling you even closer against his body. You were now putty in his hands.
"Jimin told you my....preferences, right?" his voice caressed your ear. Just a slight movement or subtle twitch, and his lips would be on your skin.
"Y-yeah, he did." It should be an embarrassment how frail and breathless you sounded, but that didn't matter.
Jungkook hid his smile behind your ear. This was just too easy. Just how he liked it. He almost felt bad- almost. He was gonna ruin you utterly and completely, mold the shape of cock in the walls of your pussy. His name spilling from your lips, voice going hoarse by how loud he would make you scream. Fuck he couldn't wait. He's had virgin's before, a lot of them. That's his whole M.O. The cherry popper, virgin fucker, whatever. Jungkook's heard all the names in the book. But there's just something about you, you just had an air of genuine innocence, and he couldn't wait to defile it. 
Jungkook pulls his head back, enough to where his eyes can trail over the bared skin of your neck, and the sprinkling of perspiration sparkling off the bright strobing lights, no doubt from nervousness. His tongue traced over his thin upper lip, watching the droplets of sweat spiral down the curve of your neck. He wanted to taste you. 
"Alright, then." He jerks his body away from you. You're no longer touching his chest, but his hands are still on your waist. 
"Let's enjoy the party before the fun really begins. Every done body shots before?" Jungkook spoke casually, undeterred by the way you recoiled back or the look of stupor on your face.
"W-what? B-body shots, why?" you squeaked, failing to keep from stuttering over your words. Is this how it's supposed to go? Is this normal? You're bewildered, and just a bit perturbed. Were you just imagining that sexual tension that was going on just moments ago? For sure, you thought Jungkook was gonna throw you over his shoulders and haul you off to the nearest unoccupied bedroom or bathroom. At that instant, you didn't care. 
Jungkook regarded the war of emotions wage across your features, merriment and strobing lights twinkling in his eyes. Fuck, you were cute, so desperate staring up at him with a pout on your face a puppy dog eyes. He could honestly just take you back to the closest room and fuck the shit out of you. But he wanted to play with his prey, a bit more. The wait made it that much more satisfying.
"Don't pout too much, baby girl or I may not be able to contain myself. Follow me. The table is this way."
Jungkook didn't indulge in answering any of your questions you rambled off at him, delighted to see you trailing on his heels like a lost pup. Jungkook directed you further into the dorm, and like a dog on a leash, you followed. In the center of a sparse room sat a scraped up black table. You observed the area. It was devoid of many people. The several that were present made no recognition of your proximity in their intoxicated state.
"So who's first?" Jungkook asked, setting the bottle of tequila, rim salt, and limes down on the table.
"U-uh, I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter." You shrugged hesitantly. You were way out of your element here.
"Perfect then, you first." Jungkook should be ashamed by how excited he was at getting to sample your skin. It looked smooth, felt soft when he had you in his arms, and would no doubt probably taste as sweet as it seemed. You nodded in docility, wandering over to crawl on top of the table, being attentive to your dress. You lay flattened against the table, shiverings racking your body as he began pouring a trail of salt between your cleavage. 
He poured himself a shot in the depression of your throat and tore the lime in half with his bare hands. Smirking at how you flinched when he thumped the liquor bottle down beside your head. Jungkook pushed the other half of the unevenly split lime towards your lips, a silent gesture to take the lime in your mouth. Jungkook watched as your lips curled gently around the hull of the green citrus. A flare of lust stirred in his loins at the action. He couldn't wait to see your lips stretched around the head of his cock. He observed your eyes clamped closed as he began dropping his head forward to your chest. It was adorable and innocent. He noted the way your lips slackened around the citrus in your mouth, your chest heaving in speed, the closer his tongue trailed to your neck.
You tasted splendid, just as sweet as he thought. The salt on your skin did nothing to deter your natural flavor. If anything, it enhanced your sweetness, rendering your skin damn near mouth-watering. Jungkook's ears perked at the breathless moans slipping past the fruit perched against your lips, drawn out by the repeated pass of the wet, pink appendage lapping at the salt line between the valley of your breast. Committing your muffled moans to memory, he lapped persistently at the collection of salt and tequila in the hollow at the base of your neck.
You face flammed in embarrassment as panting moans effortlessly tumbled from your mouth. Who knew your chest and neck was such an erogenous spot. Despite your shame, you couldn't stop wriggling, shifting your thighs together for some form of friction to sate the rising arousal dampening your panties. You yelped at the sensation of blunt teeth nibbling at your skin before soft lips came to suck at the shallow indentations. Fluffy hair with an undercut came into your line of vision as Jungkook lifted his head up to your lips. Your heart stammered tortuously against your ribs, flirtatious eyes stared lidded with searing lust, his head advanced closer to your lips. Your eyes fluttered closed, lips puckering against the bitter hull of the lime.
Jungkook closed the distance, slanting his mouth over the lime, blocking his contact with yours. He sucked against the sour fruit, acidity puckering his lips, residual tartness flowing to your cracked lips. Jungkook withdrew from your mouth, taking the drained lime hull with it. Your saccharine moans were heaven to his ears. It had awoken something inside him, fueled his fire in knowing that possibly no one had ever heard such a sweet sound. He wanted more, craved more. 
"Have you ever been kissed before, sweetheart?" Your eyes followed the movement of his tongue, poking out to moistening his lips. 
"Yeah, once in like 3rd grade." Who hasn't snuck behind a tree or hid underneath the dark coverings of playground equipment to lock lips with a childhood crush?
He grinned salaciously, body moving to rest between your spread legs. Oh, now he was really excited. Your lips were practically untouched. Just another part of your body to claim first. You jumped when palms pressed flat against the revealed skin of your thigh. Gently, Jungkook rubbed lazy circles on your skin, never lowering or furthering than the hem of your dress. He felt you wiggle beneath his hands, observed your eyes, glimpsing―darting about, should you concentrate on his face, or his hand, uncertainty was etched on your face.
"Amazing." He groaned, eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, before grinning again. His face inched closer to yours, his lips but a breath apart, warmth flickered against your lips as he talked, level and smooth. " Well, how about I become your second?
And then his lips were on you, the soft muscle mangled itself to your lips, tentative and sluggish to give you a chance to register his mouth slanted upon yours. Jungkook chuckled against your lips at your unresponsiveness. He guesses you were a little shell shocked. It only takes a few more stagnant seconds before you're shyly reciprocating his kiss. Delicate, shaky movements highlighted your inexperience. Increasingly, Jungkook increased the pressure behind lips, his hands spreading to enclose around your waist, dragging you closer against him. One of Jungkook's hands removed from your waist to bury itself in your hair, gently his fingernails scratched against your scalp, an airy moan was his reward. 
Hands completely abandoning your midsection, one gripped the meat of your thigh, pulling you to the edge of the table, flush against the tent of his denim jean encased manhood, the other embedded in your strands pulled sharply on your roots, a loud gasp tearing from you. Jungkook took that opportunity to advance his tongue into your gaped mouth. His tongue wrapped itself around yours, briefly wrestling for dominance before easily pinning your tongue in submission. His hips ground against yours, the heat of your covered core teased him through his jeans. 
He thoroughly explored your mouth, swallowing the now copious cries leaving your mouth. Reluctantly, Jungkook tore himself from your kiss-swollen lips. The ravished looked suited you perfectly. You looked beautiful, thighs brazenly spread, eyes glazed over in lust, your sticky chest heaving from the length of the shared kiss. Even in the dim lights, he could make out the taunt pebbling of your nipples. 
Your mouth gaped wide, flapping about like a fish out of water, trying despairingly to draw air into your lungs. Your first kiss definitely didn't compare to this much. Your wide eyes flicked between Jungkook and the floor, your bottom lip tucked firmly between your teeth, feeling shy as he just stares at you. Releasing your teeth from your lips, you timidly touched your mouth, admiring how plump they've gotten from the intense liplock.
Wordlessly Jungkook hitched you over his shoulder, winded with a grunt as his defined shoulder blades dug into your stomach and what sounded like a growled vibrate up into you. You squirmed lightly in his hold, scared he was going to drop you, and secondly, your panty-clad ass on display for the party-goers, not that anyone was looking. 
You watched the continuous panels of hardwood floor move beneath you as Jungkook carried you to an unknown destination. You couldn't believe you were really doing this. Were you actually going to have sex with a complete stranger? Someone who was known for explicitly fucking virgins. Realistically, you should be ashamed, yet, you conceded full control to him without a second thought. What did that say about you? About your character? Would you now be labeled as 'easy' or a 'hoe' after all this was done? What was going to happen between you and Jungkook? 
The flick of a switch stirred from your thoughts. You shield your eyes with your hand at the bright lights pouring into the room, or rather a bathroom. Jungkook loved the confusion marring your features. He wouldn't fuck you in his bedroom just yet. That was a privilege you would have to earn, no matter how intrigued he had become with you. There's always humiliation to be had in the corruption of innocence, and fucking you in the bathroom was a good start. He planned on making you watch him as he destroyed your body, popping your cherry, stretching your tight virginal hole to accommodate his length, and claimed it as his own. Jungkook shuddered at the thought, his possessive nature taking a turn for the worst. 
Impatiently Jungkook sat you on top of the bathroom sink counter, his lips smashed against yours, the previous tenderness was gone, vanished into a puff of smoke. Teeth banged, and tongues flailed recklessly against each other in the heat of passion, with you struggling to keep up with the demands of his dominating kiss. Thick fingers trailed beneath the hem of your dress, tickling the expanse of your thighs. Jungkook wasted no time in shifting your slick soaked panties to the side, a warm digit gliding effortlessly through your damn folds.
"Fuck, you're already so wet. You're enjoying this a little too much, baby girl." Jungkook growled, panting against your lips. His finger breached your sex, you tensed deftly around the foreigner intrusion, stretching your weeping walls. 
"Ah, Jungkook." You cried listlessly, rocking your hips against his stilled finger. He felt so good inside you, and it was just his finger. Maybe this experience wouldn't be as bad as you heard. Now you couldn't wait to see what his cock felt like embedded deep within your pussy. Jungkook pumped slowly, eventually introducing a second finger to help loosen you up more. You were gonna be a tight fit, very tight, but that just made it even better. You hissed at the slight burn as he began scissoring his fingers apart with each withdrawal. Your hands wrapped around his neck as you buried your head against his broad chest, your mellifluous moans suppressed by the fabric of his shirt. 
"G-go faster, please." You begged, your body adjusting and quickly becoming frustrated by the snail's pace his fingers were pumping. You bucked your hips against his hands, hoping he would ease the growing discomfort boiling in your stomach. 
"Have you ever had an orgasm before, babe?" You nodded eagerly at his question, whining as you bucked against his hand again.
"Oh, really? Who gave it to you." Slow, he was going too slow you wanted, no you needed more friction, more stimulation from him.
"M-me. I-i did." Jungkook loved how you stuttered, it stroked his ego and filled him with arrogance to know it was him, and only that was capable of making you stumble over your words.
"Mmm, and how did you do it? Did you rub this little clit of yours raw?" You cried louder when his thumb flicked at your clit, the stimulation further drawing the appendage from its hood.
"Or did you fuck this tight hole, with these tiny fingers of yours?" At those words, a loud, choked moan, even muffled by your face in his chest, echoed throughout the white bathroom. Jungkook had gone deeper inside, almost to the third knuckle. Another moan left your lips as he twisted his fingers inside you, his palm now facing upwards.
"Though you and I bought know they couldn't possibly reach deep enough to touch the spot you really want." It's euphoric, no better yet orgasmic, the sheer shock of electric pleasure that zaps through your body when he finds the spongy bundle of nerves. Your body jerked heavily, legs go to snap close, only to be stopped by his broad body between your thighs.
He chuckles softly, stroking your thigh with his other hand. Jungkook shifts his head down, bringing his mouth closer to your ear. He exhales quietly, warm air tinged with tequila and lime caresses the light hairs on you around your ear. " I found it, huh?"
You whimper, rubbing your head up and down against his chest.
"You want me to speed up the pace, sweetheart?" Jungkook's voice is delicate now, so gentle. But you're confused, overwhelmed, and scared. It's never felt like this when you did it yourself. Your not sure if you could handle the feeling, so you don't provide an answer to Jungkook's question.
"Don't ignore me ____, that's not nice manners. I'll ask again." You clench around his fingers as Jungkook inches just a bit deeper. 
"Do you. Want me. To go faster?" With each pause, he arches his fingers in a 'come here' motion, pressing deeply against your bundle of nerves, the sensation of having to pee accompanied with each thrust.
 "Y-yes, faster, more. Pl-lease." Fuck, you sounded so pretty begging for him if he wasn't addicted before. You had him sprung now. Jungkook buried his face in the crook of your neck, the sharp smell of tequila and salt still lingering on your skin. He sucked at the junction where your shoulder and neck met. You bucked harder against his fingers, your juices now dripping to coat his palm is sticky cream.
"If you wanted more. Why didn't you just ask?" Jungkook said deviously. Confused, you felt withdraw his sticky digits, walls gripping to stop their departure. Without warning, Jungkook flipped you over onto the counter, your knees buckled at the sudden change in position. Your faced burning at your displayed state, droplets of your essence dribbled from your pussy, slicking up your inner thighs. You yelped as Jungkook grasped at the length of your hair, pulling back pointedly, your neck craned back to observe him addressing you in the mirror.
"You've been wondrous for me ____. Such a sweet girl." He expressed, his empty hand disappearing behind your perked ass to fiddle with the groin of his pants. 
"Truly, you have. Your response and reactions to my touch have really gotten me riled up. It's been a while since I've tittered on the edge of losing control." You wheezed, starting to panic as you felt the thick head of his cock slap teasingly against your slicked throbbing hole. Oh, God, he's huge. Jungkook's cock might just tear you apart. You shifted your hips forward, pressing against the cold marble of the bathroom counters door.
"I-i don't think, I can t-take it Jungkook, you're too b-big. It's my first-time, r-remember?” Your stuttering worse now, but you're scared.
Jungkook pulls your hips back with the hand the was grasping his length, the side of your hip now coated in his pre-cum. His hand lays flat in the crease of your back, forcing you into a perfect arch. 
"You can take it, all of it. And don't worry, of course, I remembered your fragility. I'll go slow, I promise." You plead silently with your eye contact through the mirror. 
"You ready?" You nod once an advert your eyes down to the sink.
Your mouth shakily falls agape as he slowly began pushing the head of his cock into you. It burns, but not as bad as you had anticipated. You take the chance to look back up into the mirror, adamant about giving Jungkook a thankful smile for his gentleness. That vision that greets looks like it jumped right off the page of your favorite erotic story. 
Jungkook's got his head thrown back, the edge of his t-shirt clenched tightly between his teeth, your eyes trail the drip of sweat that follows the curve of his jawline. You have a clear view of his abs all the way down to the v-cut of his hip, to the happy trail that leads to a neatly trimmed bush of pubic hair. You clench tightly around him, efficiently aroused by the view. You feel his cock throbbed heavily inside you, even getting bigger if possible.
"You like that, sweet girl? You like seeing me struggling to contain myself because you're so tightly around me. This little pussy trying to milk me for all I can give you." You love it. You feel powerful in a way. Do you really feel that good around him?
"Yes." Jungkook draws out the 'S.' 
"You feel amazing, so warm and wet. I wished you could see how coated in white you've got me, and I'm not even all the way in yet."
You scream soundless as he bucks into you, shoving in half of his length. It doesn't hurt anymore. You just feel stuffed full. Lifting a trembling hand, you take the chance a feel the lower part. You noticed swelling that wasn't there before, intrigued; you push down against it, moaning in shock you realize it's Jungkook's cock. 
"Yeah, baby girl, that's all me, well, most of me. You ready to take the rest?"
"Yes! Please!" That's the clearest you've been all night. You don't get an answer as Jungkook immediately picks up his pacing, thrusting into you faster. He wastes no time pumping deeply into your tight pussy, his tip smashing against the entrance to your cervix as you pant and grit your teeth in slight discomfort, overshadowed by pleasure. The burning sensation is back as he fucks in deeper with each brutal and swift stroke. But you don't care cause it still feels amazing. You can hear yourself, sloppy and soaking wet, echoing throughout the bathroom. You're drooling down his pistoning cock. You can feel it dripping down your inner thighs. Your head jerks violently against your shoulders, to weak support your head from his menacing thrust. 
Tightened vocal cords released strained shrieks of praise; from your mouth, drool dripping from your lips, into the sticky cleavage of your breast, and sweat coated your skin. The coil in your stomach was quickly tightening, never had you felt anything so deep inside you. If you ever had sex with anyone else, they would never compare to Jungkook.  You were fucked both figuratively and literally.
Jungkook pulled you further from off the sink, the new position allowing him even deeper. You clawed at the marble tops underneath your fingers, your eyes rolling in the back of your head. That sensation of having to pee is back again.
"J-K, I-m. I have to-," You don't get to finish as the band in your stomach snapped. Silently you announced your release; if it wasn't for the new wave of cum coating his cock, or the fluttering tightness of your walls, Jungkook might have missed your orgasm. He wasn't far behind you. The constant clenching of your ridged walls around his cock, had him reaching his limit sooner than he would like. Jungkook had half a mind to pull out but decided to gamble his odds. You're the first person he's fucked raw in a while, and with three deep thrusts later, he was shooting his hot seed right against your cervix. 
Breathing heavily, Jungkook lets you fall against the sink, observing as you crumpled against the sink countertop. Pride swelled his chest as he watched his seed bubble out of your well-used hole. He's never contemplated going farther with the virgins he fucked. He wouldn't make any hasty decisions now though there were still a lot of things he wanted to do with you. He would sleep on it and revisit the idea in the morning.
"So would you say, Operation: Pop Your Cherry was a success?"
You giggled, winded, still having difficulty catching your breath. You straighten up against the bathroom counter, the majority of your weight still resting on the object as you had yet to regain the feeling in your legs.
"Jimin and his stupid code names. I swear when I get a hold ass, he's dead." You warned already preparing your revenge on your best friend. You stare at Jungkook in the eyes through the mirror, smile a bit goofy, you say.
"Operation: Pop My Cherry. Mission complete."
2K notes · View notes
plan-d-to-i · 3 years
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Here's my mdzs hot take/unpopular opinion:
I don't mind if jfm was nicer to wwx than his own children
I mean God forbid jfm be softer on the kid who lost both his parents and had to live in the streets, fend for himself for years, and suffered more in his short life than most people will in a lifetime. Any adult with a heart (madam Ew doesn't count, she's only a breathing talking pile of sh*t) would go easy on a kid with wwx's circumstances, especially considering what a sweet boy wwx was despite everything he was through, it's normal that he would melt even the iciest of hearts (except yzy's cuz hers was carved out of stone)
So yeah I wouldn't hate jfm if he was nicer to wwx. It's not like he was abusing and neglecting his own children at the same time, unlike what the JC/YZY stans would have us believe. While yzy was abusive and a b*tch to her children, screaming at them, mocking and demeaning them, and that's when she wasn't away on some "night hunt", jfm was the one who stood up for his daughter when he realized what jzx thought of her, he was the one who tried to correct jc's wrong ideas calmly and rationally without yelling at him or making fun of him. even when jfm brought wwx to LP and wwx was scared of jc's puppies he didn't send them away immediately, he waited for days to see if wwx will adjust but when he didn't and jfm realized the dogs had to go for wwx to feel safe in his new home, he didn't just send them away he tried to talk to jc about it 1st.
Imo jfm's only fault as a parent is allowing his wife to abuse his children and ward and turn his own son against him.
Which really makes me wonder what did yzy do to break him? When he was talking to jgs about ending their kids' engagement he didn't bend when jgs argued for keeping the engagement, and he was willing to go demand WRH return his disciples swords knowing that WRH wasn't above killing his fellow sect leaders (actually it's even telling and funny how jfm would rather face Wen f*cking Ruohan than stay home with yzy), and in the attack on LP he went back in there knowing that there was no chance he could win or come out alive, heck even before marrying yzy he had the guts to refuse her and family for a while despite the pressure they were putting on him. It's only when dealing with that woman that jfm seems to completely lose his spine.
Anyways it's true jfm won't be getting a father of the year award (that one goes to wangxian and lqr as the runner up) but he wasn't a bad one either, he was at worst a sub-par parent imo.
I wouldn't have minded if JFM had been nicer to Wei Wuxian but he wasn't. People are like "he was easier on him" .... um that's bc WWX wasn't the one suggesting THEY STAND BY AND LET INNOCENT PEOPLE DIE. People can't really be this devoid of logic?!
I think some people have a really weird concept of parenting. A parent correcting their child's behavior is not hate, it's literally their job. A job a lot of parents today don't quite bother to do. JFM isn't "hating on his son" bc he's trying to raise him to be a decent person. How did these people pass through their childhoods?! Did they think every time their parents corrected their behavior it was a personal attack on them!? No bloody wonder they relate to jiang cheng.
I don't personally feel that there was much JFM could've done to help WWX in the Jiang household...and trust me it took me a while to get to this bc at first I was like... you're telling me he couldn't just put his foot down, chuck her off a pier? But alas he couldn't divorce YZY or chuck her off a pier. She also came from a powerful clan. A clan powerful enough and scheming enough to pressure him into marrying her venomous ass. He tries here :
Jiang FengMian, “My lady, what are you doing here?”
Madam Yu, “What am I doing here? What a joke that I am asked of such a thing! Sect Leader Jiang, do you still remember that I’m also the leader of Lotus Pier? Do you still remember that every inch of the earth here is my territory?
Not exactly a resounding success. The best thing to do was to avoid her as much as possible. If he gave in to what she wanted she would've taken a mile. If he'd stood up for WWX she would've just flipped her shit more the way her son did in the ancestral hall when WWX stood up for LWJ. YZY and jc are really cut from the same cloth. As for why he stood up for YanLi, probably that was his line in the sand. Knowing how miserable his own marriage had made him he couldn't bear the thought of his daughter suffering through the same thing and he still had some control over that. Considering how Jin Zixuan was acting about her it's completely understandable.
Lastly I believe JFM went to get the swords at the behest of the Wens or rather he was purposely lured away from Lotus Pier. Or at least that's what WWX surmises.
Wei WuXian asked, “Uncle Jiang went out so early in the morning—why hasn’t he come back yet? Would he make it in time for dinner?”
In the morning, Jiang FengMian and Madam Yu had an argument again. To call it an argument didn’t seem quite right. Madam Yu alone lost her temper, while some of Jiang FengMian’s bearing remained throughout the entire exchange. Jiang Cheng answered, “He’s at the Wen Sect for our swords again, isn’t he? Whenever I think that my Sandu might be held in the hands of a Wen-dog right now, I…”
....
Wei WuXian remembered Jiang FengMian, who went out earlier, and thought, They purposely chose to come at such a time. Or, rather, they purposely led Uncle Jiang out of here!
I mean not a bad strategy considering YZY loses her shit when she hears about the supervisory office and gets the whole Clan killed. Further supporting WWX’s assertion, I don't believe JFM was returning with the swords. One because he would have probably given them back to WWX and jc and two because :
Two months ago, the Two Jades of Lan cooperated in a surprise attack with Jiang Cheng. They took back the swords that had been gathered from each sect’s disciples at Wen Chao’s ‘sector of indoctrination’, bringing them back to their owners. Only then did Sandu and Bichen return to them.
Lan WangJi’s light eyes glanced at the other sword at Jiang Cheng’s waist. He turned his gaze away.
A few moments later, staring straight in front of him, he asked, “Has Wei Ying still not appeared yet?”
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viscountessevie · 2 years
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Justice for Shelley Conn!!! The writers did her and Mary so dirty and even so she was so so good. I know that every one has a grieving time but it would be so much more realistic to have Kate's father dying like a year prior, it would explain better Mary's emotional absence and why Kate had to take charge. Also I think Edwina should have known about the deal with the Sheffields since the begging, it would have made her character more likeable if she was willing to marry someone to take care of Kate and Mary and would explain the urgency of her wanting to get married so fast, the feeling that she failed her family when Anthony didn't propose and the fear she was not going to be seen as marrying material anymore after he didn't. She could have said to kate that she wanted to marry anthony and be his viscountess because she knew for what she saw that he was going take care her family if the Sheffields backed down and Kate could have understood her distress was because Edwina was in love with him. In the wedding scene her mortification would have been because she almost married a man who was in love with her sister and who loved him back all because sometimes people who love us try to proctect us instead of seeing us as adults who can handle the truth, then she would reveal to kate she knew about the deal with the sheffields and the rest of the season would be pretty much the same since it would be a big scandal for anthony to marry one sister after the other ran away from their wedding. Hire me netflix i fixed season 2
Anyways I’m done with my anti-Polio triade and we’re back to doing S2 Asks!
Also there’s a point/complaint I’ll be making in this post about post-S2 fics that came up again as a discourse on my dash last night - I really thought we put Edwina discourse to bed yall, why are yall like this T.T
Anon first off I am SO sorry to keep you waiting - this is a VERY old ask from like months ago?? I think it was prompted by my posts appreciating Book Mary and Edwina after the show butchered their characters? 
JUSTICE FOR SHELLEY CONN INDEED!! God she was SO robbed of scenes and while I love my moots who dislike the Sharmas in the show because of the writing I get very annoyed when they get anons that put it all on Mary, calling her neglectful and emotionally abusive like literally it’s not that deep yall, the writers just ignored her!! But yeah I do hate that they made her Violet 2.0 just so Kate can be more like Anthony which is such a tired take. 
Kathony in the books worked because while they were very similar, they did have differences that made them their own people! 
As for your fixed version of S2: It’s an interesting take and definitely better writing than S2 - then again ANYTHING is a step up from S2 (well other than the weirdos writing S2 fics they’re either fetishising Kate or making The Sharmas out to be as abusive as the Penwoods and making Anthony Kate’s white knight which ew please fucking stop) 
More Under The Cut [The Viscountess Essay Things]: 
I do love that the first part is essentially what happened in the books. I’m not sure if you have read the book but for those of my anons/moots/followers who are show only fans here’s some context: So in The Viscount Who Loved Me the Sharmas (well Sheffields in the books not to be confused with Mary’s parents in the show because they don’t exist in the book thank god so HC that Mary’s REAL parents were fucking angels) were all aware of their financial status, including Eddie and knew they had to have Edwina marry well to secure a better future for her. I’m sure Mary and Eddie wanted that for Kate too but it was a mix of her being overlooked/intimidated by the men and her not really wanting to be married either that they just focus on giving Edwina the full season treatment. So Edwina herself is well aware of the responsibility she has to her family. 
This is what made the sisters SO compelling in the books, they both had their burdens to bear and different responsibilities. Edwina wasn’t this ‘never been scarred by life and clueless’ naive deb the show made her out to be. In the books yes she is naive about marriage and what comes with it so in a way the full weight of her responsibility doesn’t really quite hit her. And who can blame her, she was 17. And it was a really good move of JQ to use their ‘courtship’ to illustrate how fucked up society was back then with the age gaps and essentially child brides. I especially loved that scene where Anthony sees El and Eddie together and Eddie is being a cheeky little sister and it hits him how young she is and how close he came to basically marrying someone like his sister.
I just loved how everyone was aware of who they are and where they stood in the books. The only clowning that happened was when Kate and Anthony were around each other - it’s like all their brain cells got yeeted from the horniness. It was funny af.
That being said, the book arc Edwina got about being the perfect deb and feeling the pressure and responsibility to marry well for her family was what I thought they were going to do after the coconut oil scene in Ep 3 but they just had to FUCK IT UP with having Eddie have a crush on him. 
I do see how you fixed the mess of a plot after Ep 4 but personally I would have just YEETED the engagement and Edwina’s romantic feelings all together because come onnn Edwina and Anthony’s utter lack of connection and chemistry before they became in laws WAS FUNNY AF. Look at this shit: 
I’m not sure if you want my rewrite of the season but here’s what I would have done: 
- Adapted the book more close lmao but keep the horse riding motif; would have still loved for a funner version of Colin - well I guess that’s Ben in the show to have introduced them and they pretend to not know each other from the horse ride and we still get their book intro just with more layers 
- Keep the new bee scene and maybe have them be caught by one of their parents - listen I just want these clowns together in an official capacity before the halfway mark of the season because WE DESERVED MORE MARRIED KATHONY IN THEIR OWN SEASON
- But instead of getting married right away, they have a longer engagement instead so we have one ep dedicated to them still struggling to accept their feelings so they use the engagement time to figure shit out. Then after a montage of hate fucking fuck buddies Kathony - we get the confession scene after the new accident scene which was just a normal riding accident she wasn’t running away but like the accident puts shit in perspective for both of them. 
- Maybe not a week long coma but like a couple days and Anthony is losing his shit, Kate wakes up and is like Life is too fucking short I love you, you fucking idiot. The confession a mix of the one from the book and the show WITHOUT KATHANI. HER NAME IS KATHARINE. [Before anyone sends me asks about this bit please read my Kate Name Discourse tag on this I have talked about it to death]
- In this version just like in the books, Edwina feels n o t h i n g and their ‘courtship’ conversations are boring af. She quickly sees through him presenting the performative version of himself for her. She gleans this from how he is with Kate and also after her convo with Daphne going “Anthony, even tempered???” She’s like Something isn’t right here?? And calls him out for it and he sheepishly admits he wasn’t being himself (actually the “Let’s stop playing our roles” speech could be directed at Anthony here instead tbh) and they start to get along more as friends/future siblings in law. 
- Also what pushes Eddie to call him out and stop their courting is her falling for Dorset who is a mix of Bagwell and Dorset in this. We’re yeeting his “I went to India once and made it my whole personality” trait. He can still have visited and not always bring it up in convos. So replace that Edwina and Anthony scene talking the drawing room with Dorset. Basically they have the Edwell romance that was in the books. 
Spicy Alternative that could have avoided the Straight Mess™ that was The Engagement Plot and stupid fucking triangle: Edwina is a lesbian. Girlie has read definitely Sappho she knows what’s up. But because of her own burden and responsibility to the family, there’s a bit of hetcomp at play. That’s also why Eddie feels nothing for him lmao. I can also see her being bi to be honest. But yeah Lesbian!Edwina would have been fun to see with El, replacing Theo (love him but YEET the man teaching a woman about feminism) and this way there’s no stupid rebels plot that the Queen can threaten El with and Pen can go off and ruin someone else’s life (Cressida maybe who actually deserves it??) 
- I don’t care if this picks apart the other plots cos fuck all the Featherflops and LW storylines, Cousin Hack doesn’t exist in this season, all his screentime goes to developing the Sharmas and giving Kate the backstory SHE ALWAYS DESERVED! GIMME ALL THE SHARMA SCENES FROM THE BOOKS. WE NEEDED THE MILK SCENE. MARY TELLING KATE SHE VISITS HER MOTHER'S GRAVE TO UPDATE HER ABOUT KATE. A L L THE KATE/EDWINA/MARY BONDING SCENES
So many fucking good book scenes and lines and we got n o t h i n g.
- Also!!! Anthony should have had sex dreams. Like if they didn't want to have them having sex until after the engagement plot, fine - could have offset it with more scenes pre-confession with his sex dreams dammit.
Anyways that's my take, hope yall enjoyed it and thanks for reading this all the way through if you did!
[ Ik yall can tell how much I hate S2 sometimes it honestly makes me tear up at times I feel stupid]
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ijustwant2write · 4 years
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The Nice One-Fred Weasley x Muggle!Dursley!Reader
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(GIF credit to @avocadosalad2​)
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Tag List: @obsessedwithrandomthings​
Requested by anonymous: 'I have this idea about Fred Weasley falling in love with Harry’s muggle cousin. a dursley. Maybe y/n and Harry were always really close and she obviously knows all about magic. She’s the only person, Harry actually loved and trusted as a child and that didn’t change when he found out he was wizard so there really close, he sees her as a sister. Maybe he wants to introduce her to ginny because Harry wants her approval. And reader ends up liking Fred, and Fred likes her back.'
Characters: Fred Weasley x Muggle!Dursley!Reader, Harry Potter x Muggle!Dursley!Reader (cousin), Weasley Family x Muggle!Dursley!Reader (platonic), Hermione Granger x Muggle!Dursley!Reader (Platonic)
Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name
Warnings: Mention of neglect/child abuse, lots of fluff
                                     *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sitting back in a plastic chair, I looked out of the huge window of the coffee shop, sighing as I realised it had started to rain. I never minded the rain really, but it had been like this since May, with no sign of a proper English summer in sight. Harry returning to the table with two mugs of tea distracted me, and I smiled as he set them on the table, sitting opposite to me.
“It feels like ages since we did this.” I said, blowing over the top of the tea.
“Yeah, I’m sorry I’ve not called or contacted you in any way recently.” he apologised, casting his eyes down.
“Harry, you don’t have to be sorry for anything.” I reassured him.“You’ve been making your life in...well, your world. We’ve all grown up, had to get used to becoming adults and such. Though it is a shame we haven’t seen each other for over a year.”
“Year and a half actually.”
“I wasn’t surprised when you invited me here though. Of course, this is under better circumstances. I’m not having to drag you out of the house to avoid my parents.”
“No, this is much nicer.”  he chuckled.“How are they by the way? I was able to see Dudley last month.”
“They’re fine, same as always. I don’t see them as much as I should, though I do call them often. Sometimes it’s hard you know, especially after all that’s happened in the last few years.” I took a sip of tea, finally able to start drinking it.
Harry seemed hesitant to speak again.“Actually, I was wanting to ask you something.”
“Yeah?” 
“Do you remember me talking to you about a girl called Ginny?”
“Ooh, has my little cousin fallen in love?” I was teasing until I saw the genuine smile on his face.“Wait, Harry, do you really like this girl?”
“W-well...I h-have for a while, we actually told each other our feelings when, when other things turned serious. And it’s been going good between us, really good, which leads me to my question.”
I was confused as to where this was going, but waited for him to carry on.
“I was wondering if you would come meet her?”
“You want me to meet her?” I excitedly repeated. 
“Yeah,” he smiled back,“there’s going to be a birthday party for me at her family home. She’s a Weasley.”
“Wait, isn’t that the last name of your friend Ron?”
“It is.”
“You’re dating your best friend’s sister?”
“I’ve already talked about it with him! Do you remember I stayed with him over that summer, and I wrote to you from there?”
“The Burrow!”
He nodded.“They’re more than happy to have you there.”
“Of course I’ll come Harry! For now, you have to tell me everything about this Ginny girl.”
The party was two weeks away, and I could not contain my excitement as it got closer and closer. Although Harry had told me much about the wizarding world, he was the only wizard I had ever met (unless I counted that giant man that had tracked us down when Harry first found out he possessed magic, though there weren’t any introductions), and I was extremely excited to meet more of them. Would they constantly be using magic? Would they just conjure up food and drink? And would they be comfortable with me there? I knew that Harry wouldn’t leave me alone unless I was one hundred percent comfortable with everyone.
It was surprising that Harry hadn’t become irritated with me on the day of his party. He was coming to pick me up, and I had greeted him with an over excited tone, setting off a party popper which made strings of confetti land on his head. I had never been able to celebrate Harry’s birthdays publicly, always sneaking into his room or under the cupboard to give him a small present and a hug to wish him happy birthday (once I was earning my own pocket money, or sweetly asking dad for a few pounds, I would buy him cupcakes as a birthday cake, stashing away sweets for him after he saw how much we were given). Dragging him into my flat, I demanded he close his eyes, dashing in and out of the kitchen with a stupid grin on my face. Counting down from three, I giggled as Harry opened his eyes, smiling when he saw me holding a cupcake with a candle in my hands.
"You didn't forget."
"Of course I didn't. Is it...is it alright?" I became worried, wondering if I had brought up bad memories.
"No, no, I actually missed this. It was one of the things I looked forward to each year."
He blew out the candle, sighing when I urged him to close his eyes and make a wish. Harry then pushed me to get a move on, his eyes widening when he saw me pick up two presents with wrapping paper, as well as a smaller one on top. I walked past him before he could say anything about them, handing him the keys to lock up.
As we turned up at the infamous Burrow, I couldn't help but stand back in awe. It was like nothing I had ever seen, and although shabby looking, very put together, it had some sort of charm to it, it was so different to other houses. Harry had already taken a few steps forward, stopping when he noticed me not move.
"(Y/N)?"
My eyes snapped back down to him."Oh, sorry."
"It's going to be fine." he said, coming to stand beside me.
I just nodded, walking next to him and standing back when he knocked on the door. A short woman opened it, squealing with excitement when she saw Harry, and as she dragged him in for a hug, she playfully scolded him for knocking, claiming that he could waltz in whenever. Staying outside, I poked my head in, still holding the presents in my arms. I watched as Harry was engulfed in numerous hugs, everyone wishing him happy birthday as well as joking and laughing with him. It shocked me. The only time I saw him this happy was when I was able to cheer him up as kids (and that was extremely hard to do when he lived in the hell hole I called home), but a sudden wave of emotion attacked me, I was so happy to see him being treated right.
"Everyone, this is my cousin, (Y/N)." Harry interrupted my thoughts once again, gesturing for me to step inside.
Sheepishly walking in, I held onto the presents a little tighter, smiling through the awkwardness. There were so many of them standing there.
"Here, let me take those from you love." a man who seemed to be the dad offered, placing the presents on a nearby table. Now I was out in the open.
"So this is the decent one?" one of the younger lads said to break the silence.
"Ronald Weasley, you mind your manners!" the woman scolded him."Don't mind him dear, it's lovely to meet you. Harry has never stopped talking about you."
"He's right though," Harry said,"this is the nice one."
"It's nice to see that Harry stayed in such a lovely place, and with lovely people."
Really (Y/N)? That's the first thing you come out with?
"Oh what a sweetheart." the woman gushed."Believe me, they look like angels, but they don't act like one."
Harry soon broke us into a general conversation, attempting to introduce me to everyone. This family was so different to mine. It felt more loving, as if they didn't hate to be around each other all the time. They included each other in every conversation, they laughed together, joked around with each other. And they also included me.
We were sat around a long table, squeezed amongst one another with food and drink laid out. I had Harry one side of me, and his old friend Hermione on my other. I believed that she and Ron had romantic connections, but I was hoping she would shed some light on Harry's love life, as Ginny was sat beside him.
"They've only recently become public. Everyone knew that they were together, it was bound to happen. But we all acted surprised anyway." Hermione and I giggled, drowned out by the sound of everyone talking.
"Oh bless him, he seemed very happy when he mentioned her. That's why he invited me actually, he was wondering what I would think about her. They don't seem to be able to keep their eyes off each other."
"Someone else seems to have their eyes on someone." she smirked.
I followed her eye line, seeing one of the twins looking in our direction before averting their gaze. I had remembered that they were each wearing the same jumper but with different colours, thankfully making it easier to tell them apart. It had been Fred looking my way, and I hated that I was blushing already; no one had looked at me like that for a long time.
"I'm sure that was nothing." I mumbled.
"If you say so." I heard Ginny say, making me whip my head round to her. She was leaning forward to look at me, and I saw Harry holding back a laugh.
"Come on, I haven't even spoken to him."
"Maybe you should. Perhaps this was meant to happen."
Molly stopped all chatter across the table, standing up to announce that it was present time. Heaps of presents were pushed down to our end of the table, Harry was shocked by how many there were, but stuck right in. After thanking all of the Weasley’s for their sweet presents, especially Ginny. With my presents left, I felt all eyes on me, nervous as to what they would think of my gifts.
One was a collection of books he read when he was younger (until my brother got angry at him and ripped out the pages), the other was two shirts I knew would look nice on him. The last present was a photo book, which I had had personalised; on the front it said ‘Harry’s Memories’, in a beautiful swirling style of writing. The toothy grin on his face fell slightly, and I began to panic again. Everyone waited for him to open the book, a slight tension in the air. Harry slowly opened the book, reading the message I had left for him in his head. It entailed fond memories we had, and how proud I was of him for setting out to school by himself, and how many times he was brave enough to put himself on the line for his friends and family. Turning the next page, a breathless laugh left his lips when he saw the photos I chose. Unfortunately there weren’t many of us together, or of him in general, but I had raided our old cameras back home to find any photos I had taken of him without my parent’s knowledge. After flipping over another page that turned out to be blank, he looked up at me, as did everyone else.
“It’s blank so that you can fill it. I knew you wouldn’t want memories of home, just...just me I suppose. But I’m sure you’ve got better memories to put in there now.” I shyly explained.
“This is amazing, thank you (Y/N).” Harry said, hugging me tightly.
“The pictures aren’t moving?” Ginny questioned.
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.“Your pictures move?”
Once dinner was done with, along with a round of singing as the birthday cake came out, we all broke off into smaller groups. This would have given me an opportunity to speak to Ginny, I had a strong feeling that she was absolutely perfect for him, they seemed well matched, but I still wanted a chat at least. However, Harry had stolen her away, and it wasn’t the right time to intervene. As I thought about who to talk to, Fred walked up to me, leaning against the kitchen counter top as I was.
“Thought you looked a little lonely over here.” he said, but it wasn’t in a cocky way, he was being genuinely kind. 
“Thanks.” I laughed.
He smiled.“I-I didn’t mean it like that.”
I looked up at him.“No I know what you meant. I was actually thanking you.”
“Ah.”
There was a moment of silence as neither of us were sure what to say next. Suddenly, something popped into my mind,“You know, I’ve seen you before.”
“What?”
“When you came to rescue Harry, in your flying car. I was in my room, but my room was next to Harry’s, so I could just about see you and your brothers.”
“That was so many years ago.”
I nodded.“I just remember how shocked I was when I saw the car, but also how relieved I felt when I saw Harry get in there. I was in trouble for not going to my parents straight away though.”
“You don’t sound like a typical Dursley at all.”
“I suppose I’m not. I was never the favourite, for some reason Dudley was. But I was so focused on keeping Harry somewhat happy that it didn’t matter. I just got good results at school, made friends and kept the biggest secret in the world.”
“It is slightly strange having a Muggle about.”
“How do you think I feel? The dishes are doing themselves over there!” I gestured to the sink where there was a floating plate and sponge. He laughed at that."That would be so useful to have at home, especially after a long day."
"So," he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning towards me,"what do you think about our families combining?"
I took a sip of my drink, following his eye line to Harry and Ginny."I can't express how happy I am for him."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. And I'm not just saying nice things because Ginny is your sister. Harry had a long talk about what happened in the past, he's mentioned her, well, all of you, a lot. You've all been able to give him much more than I have."
"That's not true. Harry has expressed multiple times how he didn't know what he would have done if you weren't there for him."
"Seems like everything has worked out perfectly in the end. It even feels right me being here."
"I can agree on that."
"Even if I'm a Muggle?"
"Can't say that's the first thing I noticed about you."
My eyes widened slightly, slowly looking down into the content of my cup."Fred, if I didn't know any better, I would say you were flirting with me."
"Thank god you noticed, thought I might have to start using pick up lines."
"You still can if you want to."
"Nah, think I'll save that for a first date."
"If you're asking, then the answer would be a yes."
"Well, glad that's been sorted."
I giggled quietly, trying not to show how much I was enjoying this."Do I get to find out where you're taking me?"
"If I'm honest, I wasn't sure if I would get this far."
We laughed together, catching the attention of his parents who were with Hermione and Ron. We quietened down, finding it hard to hold back on giggling. Before we could even continue speaking, Harry was approaching me, and I knew he wanted to find out what had happened since he left me alone.
"So, uh, what are you two talking about?" Harry failed to play dumb.
I rolled my eyes, placing a hand on his shoulder."OK, whilst you interrogate my date, I'll go talk to your girlfriend. Sound like a deal?"
"D-date?"
"Don't act like you weren't listening. Relax Harry, this is your party after all."
I heard him sigh to Fred as I walked away."You two are going to be trouble, I just know it."
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doctor-loboto · 3 years
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just a little fic I wrote based on Loboto going to pick his kid up at the end of Psychonauts 2, I’ll probably post it on ao3 later (CW: what could be described as parental neglect, references to mental health struggles and therapy, step-parents)
“I’m sorry I was late picking you up, but in my defense, I was a little held up by being kidnapped by the goddanged psychonauts!” A dilapidated hot pink car drove along the country road, two plush molar danglers bobbing from the rear view mirror. It was patched with odd pieces of sheet metal and the back windows were covered in stickers. Caligosto Loboto placed a ceramic thermos labeled WORLD’S #1 BEST DADTIST (DENTIST DAD) back in the cup holder. “Anyway, it’s good to have a little uncertainty in your shelter situation! Roasting berries and trapping fish! It prepares you for when you’re an adult and you have to live in an abandoned shark taxidermy factory because no one will rent a studio space to a neurological marine dentist who ‘doesn’t have the appropriate paperwork’!”
“Except that’s not going to happen to me because I’m not crazy like you. I’m normal, like Mom. We’ve been through this.” Bobby was lounging in the back seat in a way that was probably a car safety hazard, the large shopping tote he used as a suitcase already having toppled upside down onto the carpet. “And yeah, the psychonauts freaking arrested you because you stole everybody’s brains! God, you’re so embarrassing! I hoped they would never meet you because you’re so freaking weird and now- now they met you and you basically kidnapped them and did brain surgery on them! What the fuck?”
Loboto gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. “Okay, I’m gonna give you a freebie on that one, but still, you only get two more F bombs this week.  And I’m going to try to ignore how absolutely mean you’re being to me, when I’m also a victim here! I was hypnotized! Experimented on! Rotated in the air like a deli chicken! Because I realize that… I did a not great thing, a bad thing even, and I knew when I was thinking about taking your brain that it was probably a bad idea and I should just say I did it but not actually do it.” He sighed and looked at his son through the mirror, and their bicolor eyes met. “I’m really sorry, Bobby. I know I’ve done a lot of things that made life hard for you.  But I’m going to start working on myself. They said I could go to therapy at the Motherlobe, and Sasha and Milla have already helped me out a lot! Do you think we can work things out?”
Bobby put his bare feet on the window glass and looked up at the ceiling upholstery. The fabric was beginning to decay and there were little beads of foam on the surface. “I don’t know. I mean, I guess you’re my only dad.”
Caligosto shrugged. “I’ll take that for now!” Just then, his eye caught a figure ahead along the road side. As they pulled closer, he saw that it was a small man in ragged clothing, walking with his thumb outstretched. He was covered in soot and looked exhausted. “Oh look, it’s your stepfather!”
“Wait, what?”
Cal beeped the horn as he slowed down. making the man startle dramatically and turn to face them. His face was bruised, with a dry split cracked open across his prominent lower lip. “Crispin! Get in the car, we’re going home!”
Crispin blinked a few times. “Doctor?”
“Yes, it’s me, Doctor Loboto! Now get in the car!”
The passenger door opened and Crispin slid into the seat, carrying with him the smell of unwashed hair and ash.
“Crispin, you need to take a shower. Also, this is my son, Bobby.” He gestured toward the back seat. “Bobby, this is my boyfriend and second in command, Crispin. Good! Everyone knows each other now!”
Crispin turned his upper body and squinted into the back seat. “Er, hello. I’ve heard… about you. Good things, to be clear.”
Bobby rolled his eyes. “Whatever. My mom has boyfriends too. Just don’t be a dick and don’t try to brush my hair.”
“Look at this! Me and my two favorite guys, talking in the car on a road trip!” Loboto said. “Ooh! We should go to that diner with the prehistoric animals!”
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makeste · 4 years
Note
A theory I have seen is that Fuyumi wants the family back so desperately, because she and Toya experienced the better Endeavor, where everything was alright. My guess is that after his decent into abuse its stopped being like a normal family and Natsuo and Shoto never experienced a normal family. But that is just a therory
okay so speaking as someone who grew up with an abusive and neglectful parent (though in my case it was my mom rather than my dad)... it’s complicated. there are a lot of emotions there. I think one of the things Horikoshi has really excelled at with the whole Todoroki plot is the way that he’s used the four siblings to show the different ways that children respond to parental abuse. and I can say from personal experience that all of them are valid. not just the bitterness, anger, and resentment that Touya, Natsuo, and Shouto have all shown at times, but also that intense (but tentative, almost wishful-thinking) longing to just have a normal family that we see from Fuyumi. speaking again from experience, that last one isn’t an outlier at all. in fact, in my case, I’d say that was honestly the strongest feeling out of all of them, and it even fueled a lot of the other three emotions. btw just a heads up I’m gonna delve into some personal stuff here briefly, so yeah. I won’t put details, but if anyone wants an abuse trigger warning added to the post or anything like that, just let me know.
so the thing is, even during my angriest times, if some magic wish-granting genie had poofed in and told the child me, “’sup, I’m here to solve all of your family problems, just tell me what you want me to do,” I wouldn’t have wanted them to take my mom away and lock her up somewhere and make her suffer or anything like that. honestly, even during the worst of it, the thing I wanted more than anything else was just to have a normal family. my mom had a lot of untreated mental health issues, and it was basically a situation where you never knew which version of her you were going to get on any given day. so there were times when she was a kind and loving mother who took care of me and my siblings. and there were a great many more times when she was temperamental and erratic, and we all (my dad included) basically just walked on eggshells around her and did our best to lay low and try not to bother her because even little things might set her off, and we never knew how she was going to react. and my dad worked a lot, and my sibs and I were homeschooled for reasons which I’m not gonna get into because this post is already veering off on too many tangents, but anyway so the short of it is that my sibs and I grew up in this unstable environment and ended up more or less raising ourselves. and I resented my mom a lot for that, growing up, and I still do honestly.
now a lot’s happened since then, and she’s gotten some help, and my siblings and I are all adults now and we’re more or less good, even though we all took a certain amount of Psychic Damage along the way and we’re each still dealing with that. and we each have different relationships with our mom now, and a couple of my sibs are even fairly close to her. but for my part, I pretty much have no relationship with her at all outside of seeing her a few times a year at family get-togethers and the like. the thing is, even though my mom did eventually (after a LOT of false starts and struggles and heartache) get some help, she’s never really shown remorse for what my siblings and I went through because of her. she’s never taken responsibility for any of it. she blames a lot of other people, and will go on long rants about all of the terrible things that have happened to her and all of the horrible ways people have treated her (some of which is true, and some of which very much is not). but there’s never even the slightest acknowledgement of any of the things she herself has done to hurt others. she either passes the blame or just pretends it never happened. 
and honestly, it sucks. even now, there’s little to no real desire to change on her part. she’s gotten therapy and meds now, and so emotionally she’s much more stable than when we were kids, but one of the unfortunate results is that it’s all the more clear now that a lot of her behavior never had anything to do with her mental illness at all. she just didn’t care at all about how she was hurting others; or at the very least, didn’t care to face it. and that’s just how it is.
anyway, so I’m sorry to keep breaking away and telling you guys my own life story lol. but the point I’m trying to get at here is that I actually relate to Fuyumi so much, though. what I wanted more than anything was for my mom to care, and to say she was sorry, and for me to be able to believe that and to trust her, and for her to actually change. that was it.
and so for me, here’s the biggest difference between the Endeavor situation, and my own and so many others. the difference is that unlike people in real life, we know Endeavor is actually remorseful for what he’s done. we know it for certain because we’ve seen it for ourselves, from his own point of view. the manga actually lets us get inside his head and shows us that he really is sincere, that he really is sorry, and that he really is trying to change. and that’s something that’s impossible to get in real life. that certainty that the person really means it, that they’re genuinely remorseful and committed to making amends.
and for me, that’s fucking wish fulfillment right there. for the abusive parent to finally realize the error of their ways and be sorry and try to do right by their kids. I fucking wanted that. hell, I still want it, even though I’ve made my peace with things the way that they are. that chance to somehow heal the broken relationship, and have your parent genuinely try their best to be a real parent to you, even if it’s years after the fact? shit. I’d take that in a heartbeat.
and so when it comes to Fuyumi and her attempts to get her family to reconcile and experience a few normal things, I f feel that. I really do. because when you’re growing up in that type of situation, normal is all that you want. and I don’t think it’s anything that requires an explanation on her part, because it’s not actually an unusual reaction at all. it’s natural. it’s the most natural thing in the world. honestly it’s annoying that fandom sometimes tries to shame her for having those feelings. like honestly, fuck that. because the thing is, I’d wager that almost every kid who grew up with an abusive parent has at some time or other felt the exact same way.
and that includes Touya, Natsuo, and Shouto as well. literally the only difference between them and Fuyumi is that they feel that Endeavor’s change of heart is simply coming too late. it’s not that they don’t want their family back, just like she does; it’s that from their point of view, it’s something they can’t get back. for Fuyumi, that dream of having a normal family is something she’s still seeking. for Natsuo and Touya, that dream of having a normal family is something that was destroyed. something that Endeavor killed. something they’re in mourning of. and so Touya wants revenge for it, and Natsuo is trying to pick himself up and move past it. and meanwhile Shouto is caught somewhere in the middle of all of those reactions, because he’s still trying to decide whether or not he can ever bring himself to trust his father again. he’s somewhere in between his brothers’ mourning and his sister’s hopefulness. sort of a Schrodinger type of deal lol.
but anyway, the point I’m trying to make here is that all four siblings are really experiencing the same thing, just in different ways. Fuyu may be the one arranging family dinners and the like, but that same longing to be part of a normal family is at the core of Natsuo, Shouto, and even Touya’s behavior as well. Natsuo’s hurt and resentment, and Touya’s spite and bitterness, come from being denied the thing they want. and Fuyu’s shaky attempts at reconciliation come from her desire to still obtain it somehow. but at the end of the day they’re the exact same feelings. and they all come from the same place.
anyways, hopefully that makes some kind of sense. basically, everyone is valid. Fuyu is valid, Natsu and Shouto are valid, and Touya is murdery which isn’t cool, but his feelings are still valid too nonetheless. hugs and therapy for the Todoroki children in 2021, Horikoshi. please and thank you.
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shreddedparchment · 4 years
Text
A Wife for Thor Pt.03
10/21/2020
Garden of Delights
Pairing: King!Thor x Reader          Word Count: 5,411
Warnings: angst, jealousy, talks of death, talk of sickness, infant sickness, neglect, fluff
A/N: As I said, writing itself right now. lol I’m not really sure how long this story will be. I have the basic premise set and a small plot, but if I choose to make this around the size of Pseudo Princess, I’ll have to come up with a bigger plot than the simple one I’ve got. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I know I certainly loved writing it. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo
Seriously, Thor doesn’t reblog as easily as Bucky or Steve on tumblr, so I TRULY appreciate it.
Please do not RESPOST any of my works on other sides or blogs.
REBLOGS always welcome!
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You’re still laughing gently, hiding your chewing behind your hand.
“Stop.” You plead, looking across the table at Thor.
Both of you seated on opposite heads of the table. To your left is Loki, smirking with no shame at the stories just relayed. To your right is Brunnhilde, sipping her wine…well, guzzling would be more apt.
She’s teetering left and right, elbow on the table as she shakes her head at Loki across from her.
They lock eyes and Loki scoffs, “Don’t pretend as if you didn’t want to stab him too when you first met him.”
“I never said I didn’t!” She argues, plopping her glass down a little too hard and the glass makes a loud clink that draws everyone’s gaze.
“Why did you want to stab him?” You ask her, reaching for your own glass of regular wine. Thor had promised that you didn’t want to try the Asgardian mix.
“You won’t wake for a week. Trust me, Your Highness.” He’d been super proper, and it was a little annoying, but you understand why he’s being so careful. He wants to impress everyone, especially the two who sit beside him.
To his left sits a woman, absolutely drop dead gorgeous with creamy moon skin and raven hair. She’s certainly one to watch out for as Brunnhilde had said.
She hasn’t smiled once since she gave you a small stiff grin as Thor had introduced you.
Even now she watches you, her hand resting on the table, a little too close to Thor’s hand for comfort.
Her fingers seem to be inching their way towards his and you feel the beginning bite of fangs in your mouth at the thought of her hating you because she wants Thor for herself.
This also makes you sad because you don’t meet women who are as unique as she, but Lady Sif has drawn a line and you find yourself on one side with Thor while she watches from the other, despising your very existence for taking the man she covets.
On Thor’s right is a man with his dark hair in dreads. Beautiful amber eyes stand bright against his dark skin, and the luxurious gray armor he wears, sits pretty on his muscular form. To his own right is a sword, placed between him and Loki.
He looks less amused by the story Loki and Thor just told them but when he meets your gaze, his eyes betray an amusement. Heimdall, protector of the Asgardian borders, has a soft spot for his King and his friends.
“To put it short,” Brunnhilde begins, popping her lips as she lifts her wine to her lips again, eyes locked on Thor. “He’s a bit of a doofus.”
Thor’s burst of booming laughter in infectious and you laugh too, just as Loki, Brunnhilde, and even Heimdall chuckles along gently.
Lady Sif is the only one who doesn’t laugh but merely smiles as she look at Thor as he shakes his head overwhelmed with amusement.
You know what she sees, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes are endearing. The sparkle of his one blue eye. The loveliness of his golden bearded face all stretched into a stunning smile.
“I am not a doofus!” He protests, then clears his throat and taps his fingers against the table as he makes his face as serious as he can manage. “What way is that to speak of your King?”
Brunnhilde throws her head back outrageously tickled by his words.
“You may be my King, but that does not make you any less of a doofus than before you earned your crown.” She throws at him and Thor laughs again, shaking his head as you quietly chuckle with them, loving this exchange and the ease at which they seem to be.
“What about that made you want to stab him?” You ask her, everyone’s gaze drawn to you and Lady Sif’s smile vanishing.
“Well, you’ll just have to wait and see.” Brunnhilde teases. “My condolences. Being married to this buffoon will be a true test of your character.”
Although her words are said as a joke, your heart gives a small lurch as you meet Thor’s gaze again, and this time he holds it, his own face falling a little to only a soft smile as both of you replay the conversation in the hallway once again.
“I’ll just have to try my best.” You tell her, a small shrug of your shoulder. “He seems alright so far. No major red flags. Besides the obvious.”
Thor’s smile is completely gone now, his brow furrowed as he continues to stare at you, his breathing a little deeper. A little more labored.
You’re nervous as you speak, voice shaking a little as your heart pounds and aches.
“What’s that?” Loki asks, also serious suddenly, picking up on the tension between you and Thor.
It might seem like you’re letting it go on too long on purpose, using it to make everyone uncomfortable, but really you just have to find the strength to speak as your nerves begin to get the better of you.
“Well,” You begin, voice still shaking. “I mean, look at him.”
And they all do.
“He’s also been really nice to me.” You admit, because aside from the unanswered question in the hallway, Thor has treated you respectfully, politely, with genuine concern and compassion…so far. “I think the deal was that I’m supposed to marry him and it’s alright if I don’t love him but, how long can I really resist?”
Brunnhilde scoffs, purging the atmosphere for everyone else of what you’re saying allowing them to relax and laugh at your strange way of telling them you find Thor attractive.
“At least your worries about your wife not liking you are assuaged.” Heimdall claps Thor on the shoulder, visibly shaking his body, but Thor’s intense gaze is on you alone.
Swallowing hard, you reach for your wine glass and take a deep drink, so conscious of Thor’s stare.
Dinner goes on just as it began and before long, Thor is back to laughing and chatting while your own attention is given to Loki and Heimdall whenever he remembers something he’s wants to ask.
When all plates are cleaned and glasses sit empty, dinner officially over, Sif turns hard eyes on you.
“So, I hear that you don’t have parents.” The interest is forced. She couldn’t care less about you or your life.
“Yeah,” You nod. “Um, they died a few months after I was born. Plane accident.”
“I’m sorry to hear it.” Heimdall laments kindly.
Beside you, Brunnhilde has her head in her hand, elbow on the table, eyes shut and mouth slightly open.
She’d just been talking so this is new.
“Thank you, but I don’t remember them. My only sorrow comes from never having a family.” You admit. “I grew up in a school—well, really it was an orphanage, but it was run much like a private school with uniforms that the government provided along with a minimal education. I attended until I became a legal adult and my lawyer, came to give me my inheritance.”
“Why weren’t you adopted?” Sif asks, her voice full of well-hidden venom that you can hear only because you know to look for it, her hand is inching towards Thor’s again and while he’s not your husband yet, the urge to stake claim over it is strong.
The way she asks also makes you feel as if she’s waiting to see exactly what is wrong with you. What can she use against you?
You smile, a smirk really, knowing what she’s up to.
You’re not unkind, but you bristle when attacked and Sif is making it easy for you to be defensive.
Searching within yourself for the strength to keep yourself calm, you take a deep breath before you answer.
“I wasn’t a healthy baby. I was sick, all the time. There was even a night my fever became so high that the doctors were sure that I would be left with brain damage. So, they watched me grow, expecting defects, but I got sick less and less the older I got.
“My speech and motor functions were top tier, and my learning capabilities were also fine.”
Everyone is silent, watching you with somber expressions. You’re a little on edge with them paying you such close attention, but this was the point of the dinner. To get to know each other.
“Unfortunately, potential parents were warned about the possible challenges I might face as I grew older, which put many of them off. While they wanted an infant, they didn’t want one that was broken.”
“I’m sorry for their ignorance.” Heimdall offers. “Clearly you grew up to be a lovely woman, but even if you had not, I’m saddened by their lack of compassion.”
You can only smile at him, having come to terms with the facts of your childhood long ago.
“Anyway, that’s why no one adopted me. So, a true family is something I’ve never had. I’m…” You blink, wondering how honest you want to be here. “I think it’s one of the things I’m looking forward to most. After tonight, I’m more convinced than before that this is will be a good environment to build a family. You’re all so nice.”
Loki, Brunnhilde—who’s awake again—and Heimdall are smiling. Lady Sif sits stiffly, her hands pulled onto her lap as she keeps her eyes locked on the empty plate in front of her.
Your heart stutters as you meet Thor’s eyes again. Staring deep into the single blue orb still locked on you.
“As conflicted as my past with the people in this room has been, I promise you, that is the right decision.” Loki assures you, a peaceful smile on his face that somehow comforts any misgivings you’ve been having.
At least about the people you’ll be around daily.
Your conversation with Thor in the hallway is a different matter, and one that you really want to finish.
“Well,” Brunnhilde slaps her hands on the table, rising to her feet with a little sway. “I think that’ enough pleasant conversation for me. I am tired-”
“And drunk.” Loki adds.
“-And that.” She agrees. “I need some sleep. So, Y/N, Your Royal Highness this has truly been a pleasure. I will be by in the morning to see you about wedding arrangements. Not too early though, you know—”
She steps out from in front of her chair, already walking towards the door large double doors.
Heimdall rises too, then Loki, Thor, and Lady Sif.
You stand last, fixing your dress as you do, making sure it isn’t stained. Luckily, it isn’t.
“This has indeed been illuminating.” Heimdall agrees, moving over to you to take your hand and press a chaste kiss to your knuckles. “Your Highness, it has been a true pleasure. I look forward to getting better acquainted with you.”
Loki is smiling, standing by the door but then he turns his eyes on Lady Sif.
“A word, Sif?” She looks at him, freezing beside Thor where she’d already begun to take his arm to pull his attention. “It won’t take long.”
With a sigh, she gives you one look before moving out the door in a huff, Heimdall following. Loki gives Thor a nod, something silent passes between them. With one final nod to you as well, Loki leaves.
“I really am very sorry that Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun could not join us. Unfortunately, the Warrior’s Three are highly sought throughout the galaxies.” Thor says, moving towards you with calm slow steps. “They should be back for the wedding though.”
“I’m excited to meet them. Everyone was so kind.” You observe. “Well, almost.”
Thor looks confused, stopping just at the corner of the table beside you, his fingers nervously tracing the shape of the edge.
“Seriously? You didn’t notice?” You shake your head, somehow finding it funny. “I think Brunnhilde might be right about you being a doofus.”
Thor laughs once, blows a quick raspberry in denial at your conclusion. “Why do you say that?”
“Thor, Lady Sif hates me.” You point out, it’s so obvious to you and was obvious to Loki too at least.
“No.” Thor shakes his head.
“She kept trying to grab your hand! She kept glaring daggers at me.” You sigh. “She’s in love with you.”
“Sif is like a sister.” Thor tells you, as if this negates her feelings as well.
“She’s still in love with you.”
Thor sighs. “I’ll speak with her.”
“Don’t bother. I think Loki’s beating you to it.”
“Walk with me?” He asks, and your heart goes into sudden arrest.
Fingers nice and tingly, you swallow the lump in your throat. “What?”
“I would like it very much if you walked with me for a while. The night is not over yet, and despite the exhaustion of my court, it’s not actually that late yet. The gardens my people have cultivated for the palace are beautiful. I’d love to show them to you.” He offers his hand, waiting patiently for you to take it but you can only gawk at him.
“Isn’t it cold outside?” You ask, on edge.
Thor drops his hand. “Oh, right. Estrid?”
She’s already waiting by the door, auburn hair looking slightly disheveled.
“Ah, Estrid.” Thor smiles, big dopey grin on his face. “Oh, your hair…”
He gestures and she quickly fixes it.
“I’m sorry, Your Majesty.” She gasps.
“No, no. Just looked funny.” He eases her, and she calms instantly, smiling bashfully. “Can you fetch Her Highness a jacket?”
Estrid turns and rushes from the room but returns only seconds later with a long navy cloak. It isn’t a jacket, but it will match your dress nicely.
“That’s not a jacket.” You observe, feeling self-conscious.
Thor takes it from her and holds it open for you. There’s a clasp around the throat that will sit against your collarbone. “It’s a cloak. It’ll keep you just as warm as a jacket.”
You turn for him and he slips it over your shoulders, holding it until you turn to face him then he quickly fastens the clasp.
“Better?” He checks, fixing it around you.
You can’t find your voice to answer. Heart is racing. Damn him. This isn’t going to work if he keeps being sweet.
He offers you his arm and you hesitate, timidly wrapping your hand around the lower part of his large bulky bicep again.
“Wonderful.” He smiles wide. “Estrid, Her Highness will be in later, please prepare her bedroom so that she might go to sleep as soon as we return.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.” She curtsies quickly then turns and rushes out to get your room ready.
“She doesn’t have to do that.” You tell him, turning to watch her flee. “I can make my own bed and stuff.”
“It’s her job.” Thor tells you. “Will you take it from her?”
You think about it carefully, and despite the fact that  Thor is a warrior and has travelled around the world sleeping in terrible places with no comforts at times, you understand in this moment that having servants is something he’s used to.
“No.” You realize and make a mental note to let these people do their work without putting up too much of a fight.
Thor leads you off down a side door into another dark wooden hallway with beautiful cobbled floors beneath your feet with a long carpet running its length. No one seems to be walking around in this hallway which makes you think it’s more secluded.
“Did David tell you I like flowers?” You check, wondering how much information Thor has about you.
“No? I didn’t know that though. That makes this even better.” He realizes.
You lapse into silence, hand trembling around his bicep as your mind replays the last two hours, picking apart every moment, every word shared, and every lingering look Thor had given you.
“Did you enjoy dinner?” Thor asks, his voice much lower, quieter.
It’s an intimate volume and it startles you, giving you a little bit of a delay in your response.
You meet his eyes and he’s staring right at you, soft smile stretched across his lips. It’s more a peaceful expression, calming.
And yet, it has the opposite effect on you, and you gasp a little as you catch your breath. Your heart is pounding through your ribcage.
“It was good.” You nod, looking towards the large stone archway up ahead. One of the doors stands open, the Norwegian night beyond.
You can see a splash of beautiful green beyond and can already hear the soft tinkling of flowing water from what is probably a fountain.
“And the conversation?” He asks, tilting his head to one side as he gives it better thought. “Aside from Sif.”
“They were all super nice, Thor.” You smile, honestly grateful to Loki, Brunnhilde, and Heimdall for their warm welcome. “I wish Lady Sif had been more open. She’s been fighting at your side for a long time, right?”
“She has.” Thor nods, as the two of you break through the doorway and you’re greeted with an elegant garden larger than even the circular room you’d first met with Thor in.
Your jaw drops and you stop walking, gaping at the collection of flora and fauna each piece delicately pruned and cared for. There are certainly several small fountains, dark gray with small underwater lights to provide the garden with diffused illumination.
Despite the chilly night, the garden makes you feel warm with flowers of every color. Roses in white and red, lilies with stunning white, carnations in pink, wine, cream, yellow, and purple. Throughout the roses are smaller pink flowers you don’t know but they’re adorable and the fragrance in this garden is intoxicating.
“Wow.” You whisper.
“You like it?” Thor asks, smiling a little wider as he waits for you to take your long look.
“It’s beautiful.” You nod.
“Come.” He pulls you along gently, urging you to walk again.
You follow, your hand sturdier around his arm. “Do you like gardens too?”
Thor nods. “My mother used to cherish her garden. When we arrived, it was the first thing I had commissioned. They were finished building it before they even finished the palace.”
“She passed?” You wonder, looking up at the echo of sadness in his eyes.
“A while ago.” Thor nods. “I miss her counsel. She was always the voice of reason and logic in my life.”
“I’m sorry.” You offer, hoping it’s a comfort.
You reach up with your other hand, wrapping it around his arm too.
He looks down at you, eyes searching, confused? But his smile never wavers. “Thank you.”
The two of you lapse into silence again, you busy looking at every flower you pass in admiration, Thor lost in thought.
“I’m going to miss my herb garden.” You lament with a sigh.
“You had an herb garden?” Thor wonders, turning his attention back to you.
“Just a small one. I only had some rosemary and thyme. I wanted to grow some mint, parsley, basil, and dill but I didn’t get the chance.”
Thor stops walking, gently shakes his arm to make your hand slide down along his forearm. As it falls, you takes hold of it.
You’re startled, but you don’t pull away, your mind devouring the information you can gleam from this moment as quickly as it can.
His hand is warm. No…it’s hot. Like he’s had it shut for a long time. The skin is a little rough, calloused, but not uncomfortable. You can just imagine the battles he must have fought. His hand is so big. Fingers wrapped softly around yours. He gives it a squeeze and you feel it in your core that this isn’t going at all how you planned.
You almost want to run to your room and hide under your blankets with the speed at which you can feel yourself dropping your guard to him.
The plan had been to marry him, never love him, and live your life as best you can and probably take a lover at some point. You should be able to love too.
But it isn’t supposed to be Thor. You’re not supposed to fall for him.
You remind yourself of his refusal to be honest with you. You remind yourself that his heart is already given and accepted. Jane loves him too, even if she won’t marry him to prevent him from marrying someone else.
You can understand why she can’t give up her life to take on this one. It’s a lot to ask of anyone.
It helps you grasp onto reality, to remember the conversation before dinner and his inability to commit to honesty when It comes to Jane.
“I have something to show you.” He tells you and pulls you down the length of the garden until you reach a greenhouse.
Thor releases your hand and throws the doors open before holding his hand out for you to take again.
You do, and he pulls you into the narrow but long space. Each side is lined with planter boxes, each box holds a different herb, including all of the ones you mentioned before, and some you have never seen before.
“What is this?” You gasp, reaching for a particularly strange one in a deep blue, almost black color.
“It’s the Asgardian version of lavender.” He tells you, placing his other hand over the one you’re reaching out for it with. “But it stings a little for humans to touch with bare hands. There are garden glove in the box by the door if you want to cut some for your room later. It smells wonderful. My mother used to keep some on her desk.”
“I can take some?” You gasp, turning to look up at him and he’s standing so damn close, you shrink in surprise.
“Of course.” He smiles at you, “This is your home now. Anything in these gardens is yours to have.”
He’s so fucking nice! You hate him.
You’re too stunned by his proximity to speak, hands twitching under his own. He seems to realize what’s got you tongue-tied because he takes a step and one hand back but keeps hold of the other.
“I wanted to talk with you, it’s why I’ve brought you here.” He pulls you along, and you give the herb garden one final look before he shuts the doors and moves back towards the center of the garden.
There you find several white marble benches around a small manmade pond, surrounded by more flowers.
Thor leads you to one of these benches, then extends a hand towards it so that you’ll sit.
You do, nervous suddenly as he sits beside you, taking his hand back for the first time since he began to show you the garden.
“You’re making me nervous.” You admit, your mouth moving before you can stop it. Anxious is not a good state for you.
“No.” He assures you, shaking his head, full of concern. “No, please don’t be nervous. I only wanted to continue our conversation from before dinner.”
“Oh.” You nod, expecting to be denied the honesty you want.
How will you use his refusal to do it as an excuse to not fall for him if he agrees to it?
“You’re right.” He nods, turning in the seat to face you a little better, your body mirroring his.
“I am?”
“Yes.” He takes a long deep breath. “After everything that was said during dinner, after watching my friends meet with you and get to know you, I realize that you’re right in what you say. I am asking a lot from you. More than I care to admit.”
Your mouth is suddenly dry.
“Did you mean what you said?” He whispers, a trace amount of uncertainty in his deep voice.
“What did I say?” You ask, voice not as quiet but still a little breathless.
“About falling for me?”
“Oh.” Your brain goes fuzzy and your heart is probably going to burst through your chest like in that one horror movie you watched as a kid.
“Truth is, I chose you because you were different.” He nods. “Not, different from regular humans. Most of them are very much like you, which is great. I love humans. But compared to the other ladies that came to meet for this purpose, I…if I’d wanted someone who would turn a blind eye while I and Jane continued to see each other, then I should have chosen one of them.
“They knew what was expected, as did you, but I didn’t consider how the difference in you would affect your own responses.”
“Are you saying you don’t want me anymore?” You ask timidly, feeling a rush of emotions all mixing together, turning into confusion.
You’re almost happy that he doesn’t want you anymore. You won’t have to marry him and deal with Jane and a life of standing by watching him be with someone else while the world thinks you’re together.
Another part of you, the part that’s already out of your control—even though you’ll never admit it—can’t help but feel depressed that he’ll be married to someone else.
“No!” Thor rushes to assure you, sliding over closer so that he can take your hand again, his knee touching yours. “No, that’s not at all what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that I understand what you meant. I know why you were upset. I’m sorry that I did not consider this whole thing more carefully from your perspective.”
You feel a wave of relief and know you’re screwed. It’s already too late.
“But I need you to answer my question.” He says.
Your eyes go wide at the audacity of this man as you laugh because it’s so funny of him to need that of you when he couldn’t return the favor before. “You didn’t answer mine!”
He smiles, chuckling. “Answer mine first.”
As you consider him, blue eye staring at you with no restraint for the way his gaze makes you feel, your mood grows somber, all traces of your laugh gone.
“Yes.” You sigh. “I’ve never been in love before.”
You shrug.
“And it’s not like you’re not…I mean…You know damn well what you look like.” You growl.
Thor laughs, throwing his head back.
“And then you come in with that voice and you’re not rude or…I mean, you were a little mean with the whole asking me to put up with being married and having no love in it. Like, I get that it might be normal for royals or whatever, but I’m not really royal. I haven’t lived in a palace with servants and a crown on my head.
“I grew up in an orphanage with no friends. No one has ever loved me. My parents loved me, I think, but they died and no one has cared about me like that since. Even now, the only person on my side is David, and I know he only stuck around because he felt bad for me. He’s also getting paid by my estate, so…there’s that.
“I’m not asking you to love me. I know that you love someone else, but I was only asking for you to be open with me about it. If you want to meet Jane, fine. Meet her. But do it somewhere that I can’t see. Do it but tell me that’s where you’ll be so that even if rumors fly in my ear that Thor is meeting with his mistress, it won’t hurt as much. It won’t make me feel as stupid, because I already know that’s where you are.”
Thor’s hand over yours grows tighter, his face lamenting for who knows what reason, because you’re not in his head but you can see that he feels bad which is stupid and you hate him for it because it means he cares.
You only just met him but with every passing moment in his presence, you fall more and more. It’s not love yet. You know that. It can’t be a crush because you know him too well. You like him. You’ll admit that.
“To answer your question more clearly,” You take a deep breath, exhaling quickly to wipe away the excess of emotion that surged forward suddenly. “Yes. I meant it. I don’t love you now, but I think I could.”
Thor nods, looking down at your hand, turning it over in his own.
The silence feels endless! He won’t speak, but his thumb keeps caressing your hand and you kinda wanna bite him for it.
“If my mother were here, she’d be disappointed in me. She’d tell me that I should let go of Jane. She met her, and while she liked her but…We are clearly moving along different paths and as much as I love her, she is not the one for me. Not anymore. My mother would definitely think so.
“I think she would have really liked you.” He admits, and his words give you comfort. “She would have called me a fool to pass up such a sweet and level-headed woman.”
“I’m not that level-headed.” You confess. “I’ve got anxiety issues sometimes.”
Thor smiles.
“I think she would have been right.”
Wait, is he saying what you think he’s saying?
“I will talk with Jane tomorrow to…to break things off. It won’t be the first time for us to part ways and I think in the long run it will be better for us both.”
“Thor, you don’t have to-”
“But I do.” He nods, meeting your eyes. “I need to let go of my past to embrace my future. And that’s you and New Asgard. It’s my people.”
“I want this marriage to work.” He continues. “I chose you and I meant that choice. Out of all the women I met, your picture of an ideal marriage was the closest to mine. It would make me happy to live that life with you.”
You’re breathless, chest heaving as you struggle to find a coherent thought.
Thor seems to realize that you’re struggling because he places your hand on your lap, tapping it gently before scooting back a little to give you space.
He’s so fucking massive! How is it possible that this is seriously your life? This God will be your husband. You’re going to have his kids?!
Your cheeks burn, neck burns, ears burn, legs suddenly clenched together as the fear from before runs quickly through your mind.
They’d wanted a maiden and they got one. Will he talk about it with you later? You can’t bear to talk about it now. You’re too embarrassed and overwhelmed by what he’s saying.
“So,” He starts, rising to his feet to tower over you. Then he falls, gliding gently onto one knee before reaching into his pants to pull from his pocket a small brown pouch.
He opens it, turns it over, and into his hand tumbles a shining silver ring.
“I chose this before I knew you liked flowers but now that I know, it makes me glad I picked it.” He smiles, “It just made me think of you when I went searching so, I hope you like it.”
He grabs it with two fingers, pinching the thin band delicately to hold it upright so that you can see the stunning design. A round diamond rests in the middle, shining brilliantly at the center of what looks like a lotus flower made of smaller diamonds filling its leaves.
You hate him because you absolutely love this ring. You love the sight of him on his knee in front of you. You love the way he scoots closer so that he can hold your hand easier as he gently straightens it and presses the ring to the tip of your finger.
“Will you marry me, Y/N? Will you be my Queen?” He asks, and you’re so silent, he grows visibly nervous. “Please?”
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You laugh at the hitch in his voice, the plea there.
“Yes, stupid.” You laugh again.
He chuckles as he slips the ring on your finger, then after a moment of hesitation, he hooks his hand behind your neck and pulls you down to meet his lips.
Eyes wide, heart stopped, you freeze as hot lips fry your nervous system.
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anotherhellchild · 3 years
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📁❤️ I really like your head canons and wanted to see if you had any about Bakugou’s home life
oh boy okay well, tbh im in camp 'mitsuki and masaru bakugou are assholes' so disclaimer right away: This is not a mitsuki/masaru friendly post.
also, i got most my inspiration/ideas from Sif, her hc's and fics are amazing.
This is gonna be very general probably and also pretty messy/ all over the place but if anyone wants me to elaborate or clarify then just lmk. 
ALRIGHT SO, first and foremost, i think the bakugou’s r really neglectful. Theyve always worked very busy jobs together in the fashion industry and they go on lots of work trips and stuff. i think that from the moment they deemed it possible, mitsuki and masaru have been letting katsuki stay home alone for long periods of time. as katsuki kept getting older and more independent (which he had to be) I imagine theyd gradually start leaving for longer and longer. 
also, i think that the communication in the house is TERRIBLE. like, often times mitsuki and masaru would just not inform katsuki of their whereabouts and katsuki wouldnt inform them of his either cause,, nobody ever asked/cared. So most of the time katsuki’d just find out his parents are gone whenever theyre literally not there and then its just like, ‘shit, nobody made dinner’. or smth. 
and, obviously, the bad communication does not stop there. I feel like especially when he was younger, mitsuki would contradict herself on lots of things (as lots of parents do) like ”you are the child and i am the adult, therefore you must listen to me” but then she’s also like “You are not a child, stop acting like one and get your shit together”. Little katsuki would get so frustrated at this and so confused. I imagine that eventually he’d realize he can never be in the right with her, and thats when he starts resenting her a lot which builds up.
oh btw, I should mention; i dont think katsuki was planned at all. I dont think that mitsuku or masaru wanted to have a kid but then they did and it kinda threw their life around (obviously). mostly for mitsuki i think this effected her career quite heavily for a time and she’s blamed that on katsuki ever since. so she’s always resented him on a level.
But yeah, as i was saying, i think mitsuki and masaru r those types of people that were just never fit to be parents. they dont have the patience or care that u need for a child and it shows. I think masaru is the type to ignore and mitsuki is the type to get frustated too easily and lose her cool. So whenever katsuki was being ‘annoying’ or ‘bad’ he’d immediately be shut up or ignored. No time for explanations or reasoning.
Now, if we go back a step,, katsuki is a super independent kid. a consequence to this is that he’s had to teach himself a lot of things and sometimes those things just arent right. He doesnt know that though because he’s had to collect his knowledge from all over the place, which he thinks is normal. so then for example: maybe he’s fought with a kid at school and the bakugou’s are called. They’re both extremely mad at him but he doesnt understand why. If he gets hit, why would he not be allowed to hit too? Is that not how it works? WOuldn’t that be unfair?
but yeah, because he’s basically had to figure the world out himself, with mostly bad influences to look up to. he’s got a pretty messed up worldview. 
Now, i ALSO think that despite mitsuki and masaru not really caring about katuski in general, they DO want to have that ‘we have a good kid’ status, yknow? like, they cant have katsuki embarrassing them or something. I think he’d be dragged along to a lot of places he never wanted to go (dinners, fashion shows, whatever) and forced to wear all fancy clothes and act all neat with no reward. consequences for ‘being a little bitch’ as his mom puts it, are not pretty.
he’s a smart and talented kid too though, and it seems, even to masaru and mitsuki, like he doesnt have to do much for it. which makes them think he’s lazy and stuff and thats not good. so they expect him to work for everything he does at 100% . again, consequences are not pretty.
generally as well, i think there are so many fights in the house. katuski speaks up whenever he disagrees with bullshit and even though he’s never won an argument, he’s always wanted to. so he’s not going to stop. 
so yeah, basically theyre strict, neglectful and abusive. There are extreme’s they go to, and because katsuki is just the type to disobey shit he doesnt agree with, those are often used.
It’s been said by Sif before, but i really like the idea that todoroki and bakugou both had bad childhoods but in opposite directions. Thats probably the best way to describe it.
Actually, Ive had a fic in my head for a long time that would partly focus on katsuki’s entire childhood and kinda explain my thoughts on it
But anyway, this is getting ridiculously long and i probably have more i could say plus i can definitely go into more detail. as you can see though, my thoughts are a fucking mess. hopefully this made some sense. again, let me know if u wanna know more! :)
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