#anyways I always get a little sad when people start hating on this season... they can't see peak when it's right in front of them /j

[cnl0400]

S3 Is the most underrated season of OBM tbh

[deadsnothere]

Gunslinger Girl!

Synopsis - After getting a call from Garp, Alias made her way to the Baratie for a nice bite to eat and a long needed reunion.

Part 2

WARNINGS!! - READER HAS A NAME!!

Request - no, not taking them sorry.

Word count - 2.8k

Speak Ali! - Both parts together make 5,340 words, this Fic has literally taken up my brain.

Monkey D. Luffy.

Garp was a cheeky bastard.

I, Alias Foreman, Swore to be on Monkey D. Luffy's pirate crew when we both turned sixteen and fled to the sea together. I had a dream of becoming one of the most versatile people known to man. I want to learn as much as I can, to cook, to clean, to navigate boats and ships, anything you can teach me I will try my hardest to understand and learn. Now I'm not saying that I want to be the best at everything, there will always be people better. But I want to at least understand the basics of as much as possible. But for all of my life I've been known as a Gunslinger.

I'm ‘The Cheshire Cat’. Cool name with a stupid job. I hate being a Warlord of the Sea, it's the stupidest job on this side of the east blue, and they wouldn't even give me a proper crew. Just a few bumbling idiots who don't know what being a pirate really means.

Luffy always understood what being a pirate meant. I remember watching Garp train him day in and day out. Parts of me understand why Garp was so hard on him, I mean people say he takes after Gold Roger. Imagine your grandson taking after someone you helped execute. I don't think I'd be fond of it either. I’ve never thought Garp nor Luffy were wrong for what they want but, I think one knows what he's doing and the other doesn't.

-

It's always quite bothersome when halfway through my delicious dinner, I get interrupted by a soggy mean fishman running in here and trying to take my table for dinner. If he had waited a few minutes I would've gladly given it up, I just wanted to finish my meal. But the inpatient idiot just had to have it now.

“I'm afraid there are no more tables.” Arlong and two of his crew members were walking down the stairs of the Baratie. They’re bodies are still wet and leaving water as they walk, which is just plain disrespectful. “I see a bunch of tables.” I couldn't help but roll my eyes, to think I would have a peaceful dinner, just hopeful dreaming. People started to whisper and get up from their tables but I stayed in my seat, intending to finish the nice meal served to me. Plus it's not as if they got far, Arlong was yelling at them as soon as he got to the middle of the staircase. “Sit down!” he yelled in his degrading, chalkboard scratching voice. I continued to cut my steak in pieces to eat, they over cooked it a bit but a fine job was done anyways. Seasoned almost perfectly. A little too much oregano, but I'm just too picky with my food. Arlong went around as if he owned the place. “No one leaves.”

He looked at me with malice in his smile. “Except you.” His webbed hand went to grab the collar of my shirt but I stopped it with my own, barely even looking back. “I only have a bite or two left, I'll give it up when I'm done.” I took another drink from my wine and let go of his hand, continuing on with my meal. I could tell it pissed him off from the way he growled close to my ear. A stupid amount of spit landing on my dinner plate and shoulder. I shivered in disgust and stood up from my table. “You know what- take it.” I grabbed my plate and wine and stood up, leaving the small round table for the fishmen to sit at. I felt bad not eating the steak so I got a to-go box from the reservations desk and put it in there to give to someone later. Deciding that maybe i'll get a nice drink from the bar instead.

I was a wine kind of gal so I got a nice glass of Merlot, it was tasty. Had lots of flavor, some of which I enjoyed and some I didn't. I was enjoying the peace. I always knew it wouldn't last long but god was i sad when it was over. “Which one of you is Arlong?” Oh shit. I knew his voice anywhere, the voice I was sent for by his grandfather, the voice of a new age. I got a refill on my wine, and bought the whole bottle while I was at it, due to the lingering feeling that this wasn't going to look pretty.

When I got back into the restaurant I decided to just rest a little under the staircase, hidden by the shadows hopefully. Seeing Luffy again made me nervous. Something about it..something about how he’d be even a little bit different. When I assessed the situation in front of me it confused me a bit. I could hear that Arlong was yelling from the bar but he's an idiot so I tuned it out and tried to enjoy the bit of ‘quiet’ I had. Arlong has an older gentleman by his shirt collar, while Luffy was halfway down the main staircase. He had two men behind him, one named Usopp the other Sanji. I heard about them both, one from a customer here and the other, from a bartender. “So this is the pirate I've heard so much about.” Arlong was starting to circle around some of the tables, pacing I guess. “You know, I was expecting someone… bigger.”

Sounds like my cue. I came out of the shady area setting the wine glass and bottle on the table and grabbing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from a pocket in my shorts, picking the lucky one and placing it in my mouth delicately. “Tell me about it..I've had someone in my ear all day. ‘Find that dumbass.’ I have a headache at this point.” I laughed and leant on the chair. Luffy looks away from Arlong for a millisecond, to look at me but I don't think it registered in his brain. He couldn't have forgotten me. Luffy spoke, in his normal, nonchalant, Luffy way. “So was I.” I was puffing from my cigarette as I laughed. The snicker making smoke pour out of my nose. That got Luffy's attention. His head snapped to look at me, his eyes didn’t leave me, it looked like he was inspecting every part of my body. Probably looking for the one sign it was me. The small skull shaped scar just above my left knee. I wore shorts today just so he would see it.

His eyes were as wide as the plates they were using to serve that delicious soup I had for an appetizer. “ALIAS?!-” internally I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Externally, all I could do was smile. Luffy had a bright smile on his cheeks and I couldn't help but smile back. It was a smile I yearned for, for so long. I knew with even a bit of it, I was going to be addicted again.

I could see how excited luffy was that I was here (which made me VERY happy), but Arlong being himself did not like that attention wasn't on him for those few seconds so he cleared his throat obnoxiously. “Do you know who I am, boy?” Luffy's attention went to him but came right back when I spoke up. “Arlong the Saw.” There was a moment of silence, I taped the ash away from my cigarette into an empty glass off the table of people in front of me, and took another drag from it. “And just who are you-” - “I’m The Cheshire Cat.” I undid two of the buttons on my button up shirt with one hand, letting my collar fall back to show off the cat like scratches that laid on my collar bone (If those cats were lions that scratched almost all the way down my torso and arm). I did a stupid little bow. A few people reacted but I enjoyed the way Luffy looked so wowed. Arlongs eyes widened but they just went right back to a dumb smug smile. “You, Arlong, go for 20 million berrys.” I took another drag, exhaling calmly. “Which is impressive for the east blue but..Not so much other places.” He laughed from his chest, his friends going along with it. “What does the sell out have to say about it?” I sighed softly.

A part of me wished I was a sell out, instead of a kidnapped child forced to do the government's dirty work. The other part knew I would never do that, knew I would never betray my own crew like that. “Oh nothing honestly, I don't care about you.” I looked over to Luffy who still had a smile on his face. When we made eye contact he started to beam. I've only visited him once since I became a warlord, it makes me happy to see him so full of joy just from a moment of eye contact with me. “I'm here for him.” Luffy's hands started to shake, it was something small he always did around me. Blurted it out one day, said when I was excited sometimes I gave him a look, a glint in my eye that made him so happy his entire body shook. It was the sweetest thing he’d ever said to me. Arlong growled once again, leaving spit in someone's food. Those poor people.

He was circling the tables to get to me, circling around me slowly as if I was fish bait he was waiting to snap on. “Well I was here first.” I thought about correcting him, telling him that I was in fact here first. But Luffy interrupted the thought anyway. “How’d you find me anyway?” Luffy sounded completely confident in himself, Arlong just let out another horrid chuckle and made his way back to where he originally stood. “Old friend helped me track you down.” At first Luffy looked over to me, but I was drinking a sip of wine, just listening to what was happening in front of me. Arlong clicked his tongue and one of the other fish men grabbed the clown pirate's head out of a bag. “Heya, Straw hat. Did you miss me?” Luffy looked extremely confused, Sanji looked exhausted and Usopp looked terrified. “Burpy?” The name he called him almost made me spit out my wine from laughter (Which made Luffy happy, I could tell because he glanced at me. Even just for a second.) “What are you doing here?”

The fact that there was only a clown head confused and disturbed me, but I looked past it. “Believe me, it wasn't my first choice either.” He looked a bit nervous as he spoke. “But these fine fishy folk persuaded me to point them in the right direction, which ain't easy when you don't have any hands!” The joke made me raise my eyebrows and laugh a bit, it was funny i'll give him that. But Luffy still looked confused. “How’d you even know where to find me?” Suddenly the clown had the most serious expression I've ever seen him in. “I told you, I've got eyes and ears everywhere.” I noticed an ear start to climb out of the red band of Luffys hat. It was quite strange. The ear went back to the clown and popped right back in place, laughing. Luffy took the hat off his head inspecting it, while the two men behind him shared a look. “Stereo!” Luffy looked shocked. “You were listening all along? You heard everything?” The clown was quite happy. “Everything! and that old quick. 'Cause you shi-diots have no idea what you're doing.” The mashup word made me giggle a bit, it sounded so stupid, but it was kinda funny. (But luffy frowned a bit when he saw I laughed so i stopped as quick as i started).

The clown's head jumped towards the fishman with the huge lips. “Hey lips? How about a scratch behind the old ear, huh?” That made me roll my eyes, he was stupid enough to ask his captors that? The fishmen put him back in the bag. Buggy complaining about how sandy and wet it was.

“Listen here. I want my map.” It was so stupid. Watching them fight over the map to the entrance to the grand line, I understand why Luffy wanted it, but Arlong has a giant crew of thieves who could easily take it from another marine base. “Along with half of whatever you plunder as tribute.” Tribute? for getting a map, does he want tribute for his own existence now? “And if you bow down to me, I might even let you serve in my kingdom.” Stupid men. All of them were the same. Well not all, but most were extremely similar. “I don't bow down to any man.” Luffy stood tall, his head held up high as usual. That's my boy. “I'm no man.” Luffy continued. “Or fish.” That made Arlong growl and made me laugh. “And you’re no king.” There was a certain feeling in the air, the aggression that at any moment, one or the other would attack. Everyone was on high alert, my wine made that hard. It was just so delicate. Hard to enjoy in this environment but perfect in others.

“I will be, when I get my grand line map.” Luffy just smiled, which was a little bit attractive. “Then” He placed his hat back on his head. “You’re gonna have to fight me for it.” I take the attractive comment back, he's stupid. “Then let the fighting begin.” A bullet bounced off the fishmans skin. My hands almost drew closer to my own guns but instead I decided to pour another glass of wine. The old man that cooked my food was standing with a gun in his hand, the trigger pulled in his fingers clutches.

The thing about fishmen (I had learned the hard way) is that regular bullets don't affect them. I have very special bullets, made from some weird unmeltable ice, something about them coming from a town inside the grand line called drum town, from the deepest parts of frozen lakes. They're so sharp they even pierce fishman skin but don't go as deep as I would like.

Arlong turned to the old man, one of his crew members kicking him away and down before punching him into a pillar. Sanji called out his name and ran over, jumping on the table and kicking the fishman in the face. Which just pissed him off more. He got a few good kicks to the face and arms, even the legs but Luffy distracted him. “Really good fighter.” By the time he went to do a quite nice spinning kick to the face again, he caught his foot in his arm. I reached for both guns in my holsters, Checking that they had the correct bullets and shot multiple rounds from Alice, all of them making a trail up his arm and letting Sanji get away. The fishman looked back at me, anger and confusion in his eyes. “These bullets are made of ice, so sharp they even pierce fishman skin. I got them specially made.” There was a delicate smile on my lips, blowing the smoke out of my mouth and away from my guns. Normally i wouldn't touch these but i had a feeling about bringing them today, i'm glad i did. they may be expensive but Luffy was worth it anyways.

Everything was happening so quickly, Luffy's gum gum pistol, Arlong grabbing and pulling him closer. “Uh-” I could tell there was panic in his voice, but I couldn't tell if helping would really be helping at all. He was thrown at a pillar, landing on the floor with a thud. “Get up!” Arlong yelled, if i was him i would've stayed on the floor in spite, but he got up regardless. He kept stretching his arms three punches, one to each shoulder and one to the face. “Not bad for a human.”

I lifted my pistol to shoot Arlong but luffy put his hand up, his middle and ring finger were intertwined and the other three fingers touched. That was our sign when we were kids to stay out of it. It was our secret signal, not even Ace or Sabo or Dadan knew what it meant. I lowered my pistol, spinning it and putting it back in its holster. I grabbed the wine bottle taking a nice big gulp. Glad i’d gotten the entire bottle because this in fact, was not going to be pretty.

Part 2!!

[yellow-berrys]

sweet weeping soul | remus lupin x fem!reader

summary: your friends aren't really your friends, and remus lupin helps you realise that. a (hopefully realistic) tale of toxic friendship and how one escapes from it, into healthy relationships, both platonic and romantic. angst -> fluff

aka five times you cry in front of remus and one time he cries in front of you.

warnings: toxic platonic relationships, crying, sadness, envy, insecurity

navigation | masterlist 

+1

Remus Lupin makes you feel different, not yourself, per se. Around him, you become soft and reserved. It’s rare you have a conversation anyway— for you never really talk to him, or spend heaps of time around him. Lily is friends with him and you’re friends with Lily, so by extension he is your good friend too. 

He is prettier than you and so kind, always with a cuddly quarter zip on or a fuzzy sweater. Sometimes he looks at you like he might kiss you, but you’ve seen him with other people and he looks at them the same, dark lashes nearly touching. 

Remus has been told that he’s soft, all his life. There’s a steadiness gleaming from his kind honey-brown eyes, and a certain gentlemanly way to his neat strands of light brown hair. There’s gentle written all over him, and he always has a sweater on in the colder seasons. He always looks quiet, and he always is quiet, preferring to leave the talking to Sirius or James. Remus is everything consistent and everything mellow. A little mystery is woven into the way he does everything too. It makes him elusive, more interesting. 

Mostly, he begs to differ. If you really get to know him, he swears like a sailor and is scarred like one too. His humour is snarky and sometimes crude. But he guesses that other people might be right, because he forgives too easily and loves too hard. 

Especially as you’re alone at breakfast, sitting at your place down the table and playing with your food. You look a bit distraught, he thinks. Where’s Lily? And everyone else? You clatter down your fork because everything looks unappetising. Even the delicacies the house-elves prepare so painstakingly look dull and dreadful. 

Remus notices your self-deprecating expression as a Slytherin girl passes by you and waves. She looks at you inquisitively and you respond with a small smile that is the furthest thing from genuine. She leaves with an arm hooked into her boyfriend’s, both looking worried for you. As she passes where Remus and the other Marauders are sitting, Remus can hear tid-bits of dialogue. 

“Poor thing,” she says.

Remus decides you’re definitely not okay when even Sirius hums, “L/n isn’t looking too well today.” 

You’re talking to Professor McGonagall now, a more amused smile on your face as you joke with her. But when she leaves you return to looking downtrodden and when you push your plate forward and start to get up from your seat, your eyes look empty. It’s when you hurry past him that he decides that he should go after you. 

Fast taps against the tiles of the hallways alarm you. You turn and there’s Remus, long legs gaining mileage on you. He reaches you and you step to the side to let him go past. You’re confused when he stops before you. His eyes flicker down to yours and they’re filled with concern. 

“Hey,” he breathes. 

“Hi,” you smile politely and it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. Remus hates it. 

“I’m sorry if this comes off weird or creepy, but I couldn’t help but notice that you don’t look very happy,” he says quietly. 

You laugh. Again, it doesn’t sound right. It sounds forced and stuffy, “It’s not weird and I’m fine.” 

“Where are your friends?” he asks, gently. 

You shrug. It’s heavy enough that Remus can tell that you care a lot. 

“They’re all gone?”

“I heard them early in the morning,” you say, nodding slowly. 

“Are you okay then?” 

No. You had heard all the girls in the dorm giggling as they got ready at six in the morning, tippy-toeing around your bed. When you peeked an eye open, feigning slumber, Lily was wearing one of her date night dresses, a pretty sun-dress that was only used for picnics. Trixie from Hufflepuff was there, and so was Olive. You squeezed your eyes shut and when they were all gone you noticed the picnic basket was missing. Dread pooled in your stomach and you tried in all your might to believe that they went for a date or were going to come back up to invite you. You thudded down the stairs and asked a first year sitting by the portrait about them. 

“They were talking about a big group date,” she swung her legs, “Something about a park.”

You had smiled, “Thanks.”

You look at Remus, “Yeah.” But your voice breaks embarrassingly midway and your tired, disappointed mood starts to wear through. It’s impossible to put up a front in front of Remus, who’s gazing at you in such a fret. But he’s Lily’s friend and Lily surely had her reasons to not invite you. After all, you have your problems. It makes sense that it’s probably your fault and Remus deserves not to know. 

Remus tries to gauge the problem out of you- wheedle it and make it clear that he does care. Somewhere in your half-hearted smiles he’s developed a crush on you because he thinks your attempts to make him less worried are so sweet. 

But you simply shake your head every time he wants to know what’s wrong and ignore that he’s very close and very handsome. 

You set off to your dormitory, but realise that you don’t really want to be there. Remus can tell from the conflicted look in your face. 

“I’ll sit with you in the common room and you can please, please tell me what’s wrong. I want to help.”

He says it so earnestly that you nod, “Okay.” 

“I woke up this morning and they were all getting ready for something, with the hair curler and dresses. That means going out, usually. And Lily was wearing her picnic dress, the one with little flowers on it. I heard them giggling as they all went out and I thought maybe they’ll come back for me. But when I sat up there wasn’t anyone in their beds and the picnic basket was gone. I didn’t know what had happened so I went downstairs to ask this first-year and she said they were going on a group trip, plus James.

“I feel so left out,” your bottom lip wobbles, “Because if this was a one time thing, I wouldn’t feel so bad, but they do this all the time. And I’m tired of constantly trying to join them when they haven’t even invited me in the first place. Every time they hang out they never think of me. I mean, they invited Trixie and Olive, and I wish I could say I’m closer to them than Trixie and Olive but I don’t think that’s true anymore. Every time. I’m sick of trying to take the initiative to make plans, and if I don’t they never think about me. 

“In the holidays, they all went out to see this movie, and I get it, they all live near each other but they invited Hannah from Slytherin and not a word to me,” Remus’ heart pangs a little bit hearing your trembling tone, “It was only when I wrote to them asking if they wanted to see it with me that Lily said she had already seen it and so had Mary and Dorcas and everyone else. Okay, I accepted it, I did, and said we could go to the art gallery but no one replied.

“I tie my shoelaces and they never wait for me, but when they tie their shoelaces suddenly I have to be there, no matter what. And I can’t ever hang out with two of them because the others feel ostracised, even though they always leave me out. Lily gives me strange looks when I chat to Dorcas for more than 3 minutes straight. Once we were talking about volunteering for a charity and she looked back at me as if I was neglecting her, accusatorily. I wasn’t going to volunteer with Dorcas anyway, she lives in the Highlands. But then she can go and wrap gifts with Mary at the mall and not invite me,” your voice wavers. 

“I know it’s small, but it hurts so much. The worst thing is that I’m the problem here. There has to be a reason why they never invite me and I don’t know what it is. I try to be a perfect friend and I always wait for them when they pack their bags at Potions even if everyone else is leaving. I don’t get it and it’s bothering me,” you cry out, eyes watering. 

Remus wants to cry too seeing you cry, “Oh, darling.”

“I don’t understand what is wrong with me,” you despair, “I might not be the prettiest thing in the world, but I try,” voice cracking. 

He needs to have a word with Lily, he thinks. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you, gorgeous,” he murmurs, “Don’t blame yourself.”

“But there is. They’re really nice people, why can’t I see it?” 

“Maybe they’re not nice people,” he offers. 

“Don’t say that,” you whisper, “Lily’s dating James. Mary’s dating Peter. Dorcas is in your bookclub.”

“Well, love, they’re not very nice to you. And no she’s not, far from it actually, no he’s not, they split, and no, she left.”

“Guess I need a life update then.”

“Why don’t you talk to them about it?”

You murmur, “I hate confrontation and why would they change just because I told them to? I’m scared, Rem.”

“I get it, beautiful. You can sit with me and Peter and James and Sirius and Marlene and Queenie and Jolene at lunchtimes and whenever you want.”

He’s so good, he doesn’t ask any questions or push you. Your teary eyes gaze up at him in wonder and admiration and no one’s ever looked at him like you do now. Here he goes again, loving too hard. 

“Really? I wouldn’t be intruding?”

“Never, lovely.”

You surge and hug him, which catches him by surprise but he melts into it. It’s the nicest hug he’s been given, ever. He doesn’t get many as a guy, and usually they’re half-hearted and rough, but yours is grateful and warm. He’s all red and flustered after it but he doesn’t think you notice and you don’t. 

“We’re about to head to Hogsmeade, you wanna join us?” 

You think about it, “After I get these tears off my face.” You hurry up the stairs before he can say a word. 

“Nice going, Moons,” Sirius barges in from wherever he was hiding in the first place, hair slightly dishevelled, “You got some chocolate? I didn’t finish breakfast trying to stealthily tail you both up the stairs.”

+2

“He is just so delicious,” Mary sighs. You laugh, “Who, Peter?”

“Oh not Peter. Remus Lupin.”

You smile. Delicious. 

“Pfft, Peter. I only dated him to get closer to Remus.”

Your smile turns into something that’s unsettled, but she’s too busy ‘ooh’ing and ‘ahh’ing over his “washboard abs” to see you, even though he’s got an ungodly amount of layers on. 

“Speaking of, I think I have a crush on him!” she squeals and you smile again, kind of creeped out by her behaviour. You’re sure you’re just too sensitive about these things, “Will you introduce me?”

“Sure,” you lead her to where Remus is reading the paper. He looks up and he doesn’t give anything away. He's a mystery when he’s not too busy being soft. In reality, he can feel his heart start to speed up and his cheeks warm. 

“Hey, he’s blushing,” Mary whispers. Although it’s loud, Remus can hear it and feels self-conscious. 

You whisper back, “Shhh, I’m sure he’s not. Hi Remus.”

Remus nods at you, “Morning.”

“Oh he says morning, what a cutie,” Mary giggles and you giggle too, though Remus hears the strain your voice is in. 

“Remus, meet Mary Macdonald. She’s my friend. Mary, meet Remus.”

Hm. Remus thinks, remembering to be polite. He should give her the benefit of the doubt. He extends a hand, “Hello Mary.” 

You watch their interaction, spiking a little bit of disappointment in you. Is it at Mary paying more attention to Remus than you (and rightly so, you think. If you were that pretty you’d have people clawing at your feet too.) or because Remus might like Mary?

You miss how Mary looks at Remus hungrily. He swallows, uncomfortable, looking towards you and grimacing. You nod, a minute dip of your head, and carefully pry Mary away from him. 

“C’mon Mary, you promised to drop me off at my class.”

She studies her nails, “Actually, I need to go to the bathroom. You think you’d be okay with going alone?”

It’s not really a question, and your face falls. You walk alone. Remus has just witnessed Mary lying, because instead of turning three halls down to the left and turning to the right one hall down, she begins to flirt with him. It sours his opinion of her. 

“You free this Saturday?”

He shakes his head, “Nope.”

“Next Saturday?”

“Nah.” 

She sighs, “Handsome, let’s not play hard to get.”

He shrugs, “I’m not.”

“Why won’t you?”

Remus isn’t brutal enough to tell her the real truth, which is that he hasn’t heard good things about her. So he says, “I’m not interested and you dated my friend and broke his heart,” which is pretty accurate in itself. 

“Enigmatic.” 

He sighs, returning to his paper. 

A few hours later, you’re confronted with an awful truth as Remus sits peacefully opposite you reading a book. He’s in pure bliss as his eyes skim the page and his fingertips brush the edges of the paper. His hair flops in front of his eyes and you resist the urge to touch it. There’s a little smile on his lips. 

You like Remus a lot, and you can’t, because Mary likes him. It feels forbidden, and you can’t imagine how Mary would react. Friends didn’t like other friends’ crushes, they stayed a comfortable distance away from them. Rule 2 in the book. And Mary brings it up at night. 

“Say, Y/n, would you mind not being so close to Remus?”

You’re finishing up a Transfiguration essay and look at her, caught off guard.

“I’m not actually that close with him,” you laugh, “At least not romantically.”

She narrows her eyes, “Yeah, I know that. As if he would ever be romantic.” with you, she means. 

You’re silent, ignoring her dig at you. This is a critical part of how to be a good friend. You don’t want to ruin Mary’s ventures with Remus but you really like him, both platonically and romantically. 

“Could you back off? I know you both are friends and whatever but I need this.”

You chew on your lip. It’s a shame, because you did like him and Peter and Sirius and James and Marlene and Jolene and Queenie. You still want to be friends with him. But Mary has a jealous streak and you’ve seen the girls who she’s left torn and beaten. 

“I don’t think I’ll ruin your chances, Mary.”

“Neither do I,” she says harshly.

You’re struck by her sudden tone. It’s curt, snappy and it’s loud. It hurts. You immediately find the tears swarm in your eyes. So you startle, “I forgot, I need to go find Marlene to get some advice on the essay.”

“Since when have you known Marlene Mckinnon?”

You leave, tears flowing as you furiously wipe them away. Remus is downstairs with Sirius, and Sirius is begging for chocolate for some reason. You catch his eye. He immediately calls to you, but you pretend to not hear. You can’t hang out with him anymore. You hurry down to the Prefect bathroom. It’s always empty there. 

You sit down by the bath, pacing out your breaths. Soon you calm down, and when you have the energy to look around you, you see Remus leaning against the door. There’s a crease between his brow. 

“Rem, I can’t be near you much anymore,” you blink at him, “This won’t be a surprise to you but Mary really likes you. I don’t want her to be uncomfortable, or think I’m trying to steal you from her.”

Remus’ frown only deepens, as you refuse to meet his eyes. He hooks his fingers under your chin and lifts your head up. 

“Aren’t you?” he grins. He thinks if he’s going to want you he might as well want you right. 

You bring your hands to his and you gently take them away, patting his hand, “Don’t. Even if I’m friends with you, it’s too friendly for Mary.”

“Honey, you don’t need to do what Mary says.”

“It’s not what Mary says. It’s Rule 2 in the book.”

He laughs, “Rule 2 in the book. And what’s Rule 1?”

“Never leave your girls hanging for boys. I feel like I’ve betrayed her.”

“Well, you can always hang with the others, right?”

You nod, “We’ll see. I’ll see you around?”

His eyes are filled with something unreadable and mysterious. He wants to be with you, so badly, he wants imploringly to show you what you mean to him. But he nods, he understands, and pecks you on the cheek. “Remus!” you admonish. He’s smirking away, the last you see of him is the imprints of a shy smile, latent and alluring. 

You smile, feeling bitter as you tell Mary, “I’ll leave Lupin alone, Mary.”

She flickers her eyes up at you, “I didn’t think you weren’t going to.” She looks bored, and you feel nothing but disappointment. 

+3

“Wait up, Lily!” You call. You wish you didn’t need to, but you guess that you’re forgettable. 

She stops, a little disgruntled. 

“What’s got you so excited for today?” You ask her, slinging your bag over your shoulder. 

“Well, certainly not Potter going to ask me out and me to reject him. He hasn’t in a while, so that’s been a relief.”

You laugh, “Are you missing it?”

“Never.”

“Don’t you think rejecting him that harshly is a little sad?” 

It’s true. He’s nothing but nice in his advances. All he does is give her flowers, most of the time he doesn’t say anything but frown when Lily pushes the flowers roughly back into his grasp, and leaves disappointedly. He’s been doing this for only a little while, and he looks less and less infatuated with Lily each time. Once she turned to you smugly, and you raised your eyebrows.

“Must be nice having no guys pestering you for attention,” she had told you. 

You had cheerfully agreed with her, but inside you were heartbroken. 

Lily enters the hall, an expectant look on her face. Instead of James waiting by the big door, he’s eating, no flowers or chocolates in sight. Remus turns and gives you the tiniest smile. You give him a sympathetic one. 

“Huh. No flowers.”

You stay quiet. If you say something, it’ll come out berating or pathetic to Lily. Maybe if she didn’t always brutally dismiss him or flame him to no ends, he might continue, but isn’t this what she wanted?

You talk to Queenie, who pouts, “Can’t tell you, sorry Y/n.”

You’ve seen James with Regulus, the latter denying his love though not like Lily had. It’s accepted and Regulus returns the affections, though in his own cold way. James looks happy whenever he’s with Regulus. 

Lily calls to James, “Potter, I didn’t see you water the plants today.”

James shrugs, “Okay, Evans. They’re watered. I got someone to do it. Someone much more competent than me.”

At that he winks at Regulus, who goes red and smiles tenderly. Sirius rolls his eyes, whispering to James, “Oi, eyes off my brother or you won’t have eyes at all tomorrow.”

Lily’s curt all day long, and snippy. You don’t dare to say a word to her and tippy toe endlessly after she scowls at you for asking if she wants some hot chocolate. 

At the end of the day when you’ve come back with accompanying Dorcas to the Potions storeroom and three of the girls come surging, whisking Lily away but never offering you with the same warmth. At the end, you quietly slip away from the group. You have this harrowing feeling you don’t actually belong with them. No one notices and you press your lips together. 

“Girl’s night!!” Dorcas yells. 

There’s only a little more to go till you graduate and you’re officially able to leave the dormitory. Maybe they aren’t so good for you. You just wish you could be included more, cherished. What if I don’t deserve to be cherished? The question swirls in your mind, distressing you. When you bump into Marlene near the quidditch field, trucking down from practice, she sets down her broomstick and takes off her gloves. 

“Don’t see you here often, darl,” she sits next to you, “You’re in the firing zone of Sirius’ wild bludgers, by the way.”

Sirius is hovering above, hitting bludgers fiercely. One zooms past your shoulder, only because Marlene nudges her broomstick to the bludger. You barely flinch. 

“Hey. Are you okay?”

You look at her, “Yeah, I’m good. Just wanted to get some fresh air.”

“At 8 in the night? Where are your friends?” 

You feel so vulnerable right now. “I’m- I’m with you. You’re my friend.”

“I know. Okay,” Marlene thinks for a second, “Where are your dorm mates?”

You sob, “They’re having a girl’s night.”

“Without you?”

“I…” To be truthful, you don’t know where you are with your friends. It makes you even more emotional. You feel tears well up in your eyes. Marlene makes a strained noise and you see she’s crying too. 

“Oh, don’t make me cry too,” she sobs, “I can’t handle emotions.”

Sirius notices, and nearly gets taken over by a bludger. “Moony,” he shouts, “We’ve got a problem.”

“We’ve or you’ve?” Remus asks dryly from the sidelines. 

“You’ve. Not I’ve but you’ve,” Sirius points to where both you and Marlene are sobbing together. 

“I’m only one man, there are two of them,” Remus looks at Sirius meaningfully. 

“Fine.”

“Which one do you want?”

“Marlene.”

Sirius flies over to Marlene, mounting his broomstick.

“Marlene, you good?” He crouches down on the grass. 

She glares at him, tearily, “Do I look okay to you, Black?”

“Right, well, why are you sad?” Sirius has the tact of a three year old although Marlene’s too busy crying to care. 

Marlene points at you, “She’s sad, so I’m sad.”

Sirius hops up, and pats the incoming Remus on the back. “They’re all yours, Buster.”

Remus sits down next to you, “You know, there’s a cloud over there that looks like James.”

It really doesn’t, it’s night and you can’t see much. But it makes you huff a laugh out. Remus relaxes. Marlene stops crying. 

“It’s pitch black, idiot,” she grins. 

He smiles boyishly. 

“Marlene?” you peek up at her, still halfway to dry eyes. 

“Mm?”

“Can I stay at your dorm for the night? I don’t really feel like going back to mine.”

“Sure. Okay, I need a shower. I can’t be hugging you all stinky and sweaty.”

“You smell great,” you smile at her.

“Thanks.”

“No problemo.”

You turn to Remus, “Shuffle over some ten centimetres please. For Mary.”

“Mary’s having a girl’s night without you, sweet thing, does she really matter?” Remus moves nonetheless. 

“Yeah,” you hiccup, “I want to be a good friend.”

He doesn’t question you and leaves it at that. 

Marlene comes out, drying her hair with a towel.

“Are we good to go?”

“Yeah!”

“C’mon.”

You look back, “Bye Remus!”

He’s smiling so softly your heart thuds. It’s the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen. You wonder what he’s thinking about. 

He’s thinking about you. Sweet weeping soul.

+4

The scene’s set. It’s a sweeping plain overlooking the rest of Hogwarts, symbolic and gradual. This is where you’ll graduate. It’s bitter, but you’re mostly ready to move on from school. Of course, you’ll miss days spent with fellow students and the teachers, and the school grounds where you spent so much time laughing and loving, but you think you’re okay with going solo. You haven’t worked out where you’ll be staying, there’s still ten weeks left in the school year where seventh years hang around aimlessly and try to soak up as much of Hogwarts as they can. But you know if you don’t find a place to stay, you can always bunk with your parents. 

You already find yourself shedding tears, as you go up to give a speech. After the procession, McGonagall calls you over. 

“Oh darling,” she cries, mascara muddied from her watery eyes, “I’ll miss you so much. Thank you for being such a good student. Have you got a place to stay? A job? I’ll always be open to giving you the Transfiguration professor role so I can focus on being Deputy Headmaster.”

You laugh, “Professor-”

“Please, we’re both adults now. Minerva, or Minnie, or Mins, or Nerve.”

“Nerve?!”

“Sirius Black does have some calling me that.”

Both of you let out watery chuckles. 

“Minnie, thank you so much for being my Professor,” you wipe the corner of your eye, “Oh I have to do this eleven more times. You know, I’ve learnt so much from you and you’re just a dear. I can’t believe I’m leaving this place, forever. Not yet, and yes, I applied for a position in the Ministry.”

“Don’t forget Hogwarts. Please visit, weekly.”

“I will, and I won’t forget about that Transfiguration job.”

“Please, remember it, you always had a competence for most things you did. Even Magical Music, which I remember you saying you hated, despised, loathed, and were terrible at, but Professor Quavers thought you were a very capable student.”

“Minnie,” you weep into her shoulder, hugging her, “Please remember me.”

“I couldn’t ever forget you,” she leans to whisper, “You are one of my favourite students.” 

It makes you cry even harder. In the end, you take a picture with her and exchange emails, phone lines, addresses. She hands you an envelope, which later you learn encloses automatic recommendation letters and some gift cards. 

This is done eleven times more, teachers bestowing you with gifts and promises of communication. By the end, your hands are full and you put the things in your bag by your chair, going to join Lily, Dorcas, Mary, Alice in taking photos. Mary’s voice shouts, “I still like Remus Lupin!” 

“Cheers to the new apartment!” Dorcas’ father says, “What beautiful girls.”

You freeze. They had an apartment planned and ready? Maybe you’re ready to leave your friends. You turn away, crying more when you see Queenie. 

She beckons you over, “Come take photos with us.” 

You smile. Everyone huddles close. Remus is beside you, all wily and eyes sparkling with tears. “You alright, darling?”

“I’ll miss you, Rem. You know I haven’t really gotten to talk to you much, but you’ve been nothing but wonderful to me.”

“Ask her!” Jolene hisses. 

“Right, so, I, we, the guys and the girls, are going to rent apartments with each other. Do you want to join us?”

You’re starstruck. You start crying in his arms, and he looks very concerned. 

“I’m sorry, I just can’t keep them in. Of course I want to join you, you guys are amazing.”

“Sweetness…” he wipes your eyes with a handkerchief he has yet to use. 

“Remus, Mary, remember? She still likes you. I know you’re only doing this as friends and she does too, but she doesn’t like people hanging around…” you meet his eyes. 

He looks at you again in that unreadable way and you don’t know what to do. Sirius is quietly taking pictures of you two with his expensive camera. He likes the way Remus looks at you and the way you don’t seem to know what it means. Fine photography. Would make an excellent engagement gift. I'm so smart. He flips the camera. And so handsome.

"Get a load of you," James scoffs.

+5

You haven’t watched Mean Girls yet. Queenie finds that astounding, and so everyone must attend the movie marathon she holds. You hang your coat up on the rack, stepping out of your shoes and sighing.

“How was work?” Marlene asks. 

“That question makes me feel so old,” you huff, cracking your joints, “It was so-so. Marcus tried to harass Heron into getting Jerome out of the project that he and Heather are working on.”

“Oh really. That mother-”

“Evening!” Sirius barges into the apartment, wearing his suit, “Did you know, Marcus was-”

“Harassing Heron into getting Jerome out of the project that he and Heather are working on,” you finish, “How does the public relations sector know that?”

“We do have excellent public relations.”

“Where’s James?”

“He’s picking up Regulus.”

“Awh,” you coo. 

“I wish James had a sibling so I could date them too,” Sirius grouches. 

“Don’t be like that, Pads,” Peter strides to the fridge, kissing Jolene on the cheek and grabbing a can of kombucha, “They’re so good together.”

“Good my a-”

“Language!” Marlene calls. 

Someone knocks on the door. You open it and Remus is standing, stretching. A little strip of skin shows as his shirt lifts. His top button is undone and he looks tired. But he still looks at you the same, red on his cheeks and red lips turning up. I can’t be loving him like this, you think, it’s overwhelming.  

“Hey,” you open the door.

He smiles at you, “Doing well, honey?” He doesn’t say much at all, but when he does it’s always followed by a “beautiful” or “pretty” or “doll”. 

A chorus of greetings come from around the television. He nods, turning back to you, “I gave exams back today. Talked my quota full.”

Beaming at him, you hand him a bowl of popcorn, “We’re fine with it. You speak as much as you want.”

He smiles at you again. He’s doing a lot of that. But then again, he’s always like this when he’s tired. At a bar, he’ll be tilting his head, smiling at you through fatigued eyes, begging James to go home. When he’s up grading papers, he’ll be smiling at you, the same melting eyes and lashes nearly touching. And you always say, “How much of your soul did you trade to the devil for those lashes?” 

He never gets it, and he says, “Comes with the beard I need to shave off every morning.”  

You’re snapped back by a slamming of the door as James comes in with Regulus. 

He’s right– he doesn’t talk much, just sitting back on the sofa, observing and listening. He watches you most of the time, and he sees when you’re about to cry. Your breathing gets unsteady and eyes start finding anything else to look at. You tremble as you reach for popcorn, and excuse yourself multiple times, and you manage to stop crying mostly. None of your friends notice much, too busy yelling at the screen, but he does. 

You start bawling when Regina’s influence over the rest of the girls vanishes, and Remus immediately turns to you, leading you across the hall. 

“I’m so sorry,” you ramble, “Why is it that I’m always crying when I see you?”

Remus doesn’t mind– he likes that you feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable around him. 

“It’s just that– that movie reminded me so much of my old friends and it’s all too overwhelming thinking about them. I mean, they haven’t called, I don’t know where they live and I’m so grateful but also I feel so bad about it.”

“Hey, it’s okay. They didn’t deserve you.”

“I know, but the movie hit so close to home, Rem. I’m so glad to have you.”

Remus pretends that by ‘you’, you mean him, knowing it means the whole group of them. 

You sob quietly, bundling his shirt into your hands. He lets you, and he’s quiet about it. You’re a sweet weeping soul, rendered that by your ex-friends. But he wants you so much.

+1 

“Good news,” you announce, going into Remus’ apartment to recite to him what you had just read in your weekly mail, “McGonagall got a dog, his name is Hubert and he’s a border collie. Also, Mary has a boyfriend.”

You had had to write to Mary to tell her you were moving across the corridor from Remus. She hadn’t replied. None of your friends had bothered to ask where you would stay. You had decided those friendships were over. Still, you kept a friendly distance from Remus. You had only known she’s gotten a boyfriend when the boy himself wrote to you asking you for your blessing. You had written back, telling him that you and Mary were no longer friends, but nonetheless that you wished them well. It was a sign that you were truly over it. 

You’re searching through his apartment, when you hear quiet sniffles coming from his room. You knock, then enter. Your heart aches as you see Remus leaning against the wall, crying. 

“Rem…”

“Go away,” he mutters, muffled. 

“Remus.”

“Oh.” he doesn’t lift his head to look at you. You sit next to him on the floor. 

“What happened?”

“I like this girl.”

You try to fight your own disappointment back, and smile, though it’s warped.

“Yeah?”

“There’s no way in hell she likes me back. I mean I’ve done everything to show her I do. I’ve called her pet names, tried to be charming, hell, I’ve even flirted.”

The disappointment is winning. 

“And I get it, because I’m all gnarly. But it hurts.” 

He continues, “And she’s…perfect. Like, really beautiful. She’s kind, so charming, so empathetic and she has the prettiest smile.”

You pretend you’re glad for him. You’re really not. You want to leave, maybe he’ll stop talking about her. But you still listen, because you do care. As much as it hurts you to know he likes another girl, it also hurts you to know he’s sad. Lovely, caring Remus, with his shyness and comfortable silences. 

“She’s really everything to me, and I don’t think I’m much to her.”

“Don’t say things like that, Remus,” you begin, “You’re a great guy, and any girl would be lucky to have you, especially her.” The words don’t sit quite right, they feel sour on your tongue. 

“I’m not good enough for her.”

The words crush you, and you frown. 

“Hey!” you snap, “Remus John Lupin, you are so good, and so kind. I can’t bear to hear you badmouth yourself like this. You are not gnarly. I think you're charming. Love yourself for me, Remus, please.” 

He looks at you, eyes swarming with that emotion. 

“Thank you, darling.”

–

Remus catches you by surprise when he’s standing by your desk.

“What are you doing here, Remus?”

“Good evening, fine sir! How are you doing? I’m well, thank you!”

“No, seriously,” you cross your arms, “This is the intelligence department. How did you get in here?”

“Let’s just say, your boss is a 60 year old woman, and I sure know my way around them from playing bingo with my grandmother and her friends every Saturday.”

“Glad to see you’re feeling better.” And he looks better too, creases gone from under his eyes, which are now blinking endearingly at you. He had told himself he would tell you, and that would be it. Queenie tells him that you do like him, but he can’t believe her. He’s tapping his foot nervously. 

“I am. When will you be off work?”

“I just have to send this email and I’ll be done.”

“Great!” He pulls out a book and starts reading. You finish your email, click send, shut off your computer and reorganise the files on your desk. You put on your coat, and put your bag on. 

“Ready to go, sweetheart?” he asks. 

"Yep.”

“Lovely, we’re going to take a stroll around the block. It’s a…thanks for the other day.”

You smile, “You’re more than welcome.” 

You pass by a flower shop. He stops, “Hey, I want to get a present for you know- her.”

You feel your heart pang, “Yeah, sure," and then follows the obligatory, "Need some help?”

“Obviously.” 

You step in and the bells jingle. A friendly shop attendant pokes her head from where she’s cutting roses. 

“Hi Remus,” she grins at him, wiggling her eyebrows and he blushes, “And you are?”

You smile, “I’m Y/n.”

“Petunia Evans.”

“Lily?”

“Yes. Are you his girlfriend?”

You laugh, you’re flattered that anyone would ever think you’re his girlfriend, “Oh, I’m not his girlfriend. We’re actually here to find Remus’ crush a present! I’m Y/n,” you shake her hand. 

“His crush, you say?”

“Yeah, his crush! By the way, I’ll tell you my favourite flower, can you psychoanalyse me?”

She giggles, “Okay!”

You whisper it in her ear and she starts a long tale of surprisingly accurate details of your life. 

“Damn, you’re good.” 

“Thanks. Remus, is there anything you’re looking for in particular? For this crush?” 

Remus blushes.

You go to inspect the flowers at the front to hopefully get cheered up by the bees and the butterflies that touch down on little sprigs of pollen. You won’t revert to the sweet weeping soul that they made you. Remus buys some flowers and sets them down on the counter. 

Petunia takes her dinner break and slips out of the building quietly. You’re admiring the little glass panes on the wall which let the right amount of light through, walking backwards and around the room. Remus is wondering when he should do it, turning uncertainly and walking towards you. You turn quickly too, “Remus, look at the ceil-”

You crash into him. He catches you, flowers in one hand, you in the other. You’re very close to him– he smells like a forest and chocolate. His eyes flicker to yours and there’s the expression again. 

“Sorry,” you smile, stepping away. He doesn’t let go of you, instead pulling you closer. You look up to him with wide eyes and he’s so red all of a sudden. He brings the flowers to cover his face. 

“These are for you,” he murmurs. 

“Awh, but you really didn’t need to,” you grin, bringing the flowers up to your nose, “I offer my services for free!” They are so nice, and he's so nice.

“Services?” 

“You know, helping you pick out the flowers and all.”

He sighs, “Darling, I don’t know how else to say this, but, I want you. I don’t have a crush, you’re my crush, I just never had the guts to say it. I want you by my side, all the time. It was hell on earth trying to stay away from you all these years because of Mary. I don’t know if you even like me, but I really, really like you, maybe even love you.”

You open your mouth, then shut it, eyes wide with sparkling, “I like you too.”

“Really? Because you don’t need to say it back just because you’re nice, I’m a lot of things but I don’t know if handsome or boyfriend material is one of them.”

“Rem, I adore you. You are so pretty and you always are comfortable when I’m crying and upset and raging.”

“Can we try this out then?”

“Of course we can. I’d do anything for you, Remus Lupin.”

“And I promise I’ll never make you a sweet weeping soul.” 

[softtdaisy]

🌲 a walk in the past l Charles Leclerc

summary. this Christmas market has been your favorite for years. today, it's just a reminder of what you lost. of who you lost.

words count. 1,895

a/n. this is the story that inspired the whole angsty Christmas series. it's massively inspired by Cindy Lou who (please listen to Sabrina's ep). it's sad. it's Charles. I hope you will love it 🫶

a very angsty Christmas l masterlist

“You really didn’t have to do this.”

Ever since you were a child, you used to go to the Christmas market every year. It wasn’t even to buy a present. Just the pleasure of walking around this stall, hearing Christmas songs and seeing the pleasure on everyone’s face when they won a game, sharing a sweet and seasonal meal or just this magic thing that seems to make all the people here happy. It was one of your favorite moments of the year and you couldn’t miss it. 

Even if this year, you were close to skip it.

“If you think I would have let you alone in your apartment instead of enjoying your favorite time of the year, you were barking up the wrong tree.” your best friend replied, putting her arm around your shoulder to bring you closer.

You laughed at her gesture and appreciated this feeling of being loved. And not alone.

Something you sadly lacked these past months.

The reason you almost didn’t come this year was simple. It was Charles.

When you started dating three years ago, the Formula One season was coming to an end. You had met through mutual friends in Monaco and he always managed to see you when he came back home, sometimes even skipping time with his family for you -something you were arguing with him for.

Once he was finally free, this Christmas market was one of your first official dates as a couple. You were living a literal teenage dream, walking hand in hand with him, showing him all the places you had memories with -meaning almost everything. You let him buy your favorite sweet and a scarf that you never left after that.

And you did that every year. It was always the first date you had after the season ended. The first time you could act like a normal couple again. And even if Charles met some fans there, very few thanks to the beanie and the scarf hiding him, it still felt intimate. 

One night, after you drank too much wine and were watching the fireworks, Charles told you that at least he knew where he could propose to you. 

It has become your place.

Until he left.

Now it was only yours, alone.

Everything reminded you of him now. The stall with all the puppies where you were talking about adopting one and even thought about the name. The big pine tree where you added your own decoration together, like the tradition says. The photomaton where he kissed you and the picture that was still somewhere in your apartment because you couldn’t get rid of it. Or just every couple, being happy like you used to. You hated feeling jealous about these poor people who didn’t ask for anything but to spend a moment together.

It was hard to walk on the path of your biggest heartbreak.

“How about a hot chocolate?” Your friend asked you. Well pulled you because she didn’t really wait for your answer before walking to the stall. You didn’t mind. It wasn’t like you felt like making any decision anyway. You apologized to the little girl that collided with your legs and followed your best friend until you had to wait because there were too many people.

You looked around and noticed the stall with handmade Christmas decorations. You always bought something there, like your own tradition. “Do you mind if I go there while you wait?” your best friend agreed and you walked there with stars in your eyes.

Not thinking for a single second that going there would wreck your heart into millions pieces.

“Oh, miss little red beanie.” The seller laughed when he saw you, remembering the little girl you were before with your favorite red beanie, until you grew and it became too small for you. You started to look around the decorations, already noticing some new ones that you loved.

Until you heard a laugh. A very distinct laugh that you could have recognized everywhere. You still turned around to make sure you didn’t dream.

Oh how you wished you did.

Because there he was. Still looking as beautiful as before. With his outgrown brown hair hiding in his black beanie, a scarf you used to steal when you couldn’t find yours, eyes so shiny because of the cold and a red nose that you loved to tease him about. No doubt. Charles was there.

And he wasn’t alone.

You weren’t sure you wanted to look at her. To see who she was. How she could be better than you. Why did he choose her over you? Knowing would be hard. Ignoring it wouldn’t be that much better.

But before you could ever decide what you wanted, Charles turned his head. He felt a look on him.

No he had the same feeling he used to have when you were together. There was something different with you. Something magnetic that would always let him know that you were there, looking at him, even if he couldn’t see you. And it was back.

Your eyes met. And suddenly, your heart was breaking again. 

You couldn’t handle the idea of being around him with his new girl. So you did the first thing that came to your mind: running away. 

The perks of knowing this market by heart, you knew exactly where you had to go to avoid people and be at peace.

The con was that Charles knew it too.

“Please wait!” you heard him in your back. What a wonderful idea to have an athlete as an ex, especially one you’re trying to run away from. 

You ended up stopping, not able to go anywhere else without turning around and meeting Charles. With nothing else to lose, you accepted your fate. The terrible fate that you feared these past weeks. 

You really wondered if you would see Charles now that the season was over and he was around. Were there any chances that you would run into each other in such a big city? You thought you wouldn’t. You really thought you would be lucky enough to avoid this confrontation. 

Apparently the universe wasn’t a fan of this narrative.

“I had no idea you would be here, I wouldn’t come otherwise.” 

You laughed. How dare he? You had no idea what you hated the most. The fact he really thought you wouldn’t be there this year because of him. Or that he used this sweet and comprehensive tone like he was really sorry for you. If he was, then he wouldn’t have broken your heart out of a stupid boredom.

“Oh I’m sorry Charles” you said, turning around to finally face him “Do I bother you by being here, at my favorite place, the one I come to every year, the one I showed you because I wanted to live that moment?” 

“That’s not what I meant.” he sighed, putting a hand on his neck and biting his lips. 

You used to love this tic. There were always some moments in your relationship when you had a hard time distinguishing Charles the driver from Charles your boyfriend. Sure, it was the same person in the end. But the media and his PR team were creating a whole entire character around him, one that wasn’t entirely faithful to the real Charles you knew. 

And then there were moments like this where he wasn’t that overly confident driver that couldn't do no wrong. He was the man that you love, scared of saying the wrong thing, conscious that everything could come to an end one day. 

“So what?” you added, taking a step closer to him. It was a dangerous limit, because at any moment, the feeling of being that close would make all your feelings come back. From hate to love there was indeed one step, one you better not take if you didn’t want to come home with a heart even more broken. “If you knew I was there you wouldn’t have brought your new doll?”

You saw the change in his eyes when you said that. And oh how you hated seeing this look on his face. Because you knew it too, there was not one thing you didn’t know about him. And this one hurted, again. It was the exact same look Charles used to give when someone talked badly about you.

Suddenly, you weren’t the one being protected. You were the one he had to protect his new girl from.

“You’re being mean.” he added, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

“I am mean?” your voice broke at that last word. “You fucking brought her here Charles! It was our place! It is my safe place and now you ruined it! Again!” this time you couldn’t resist and hit his chest with your fist. “Why do you have to ruin everything in my life?”

It wasn’t a real question. Or at least, you didn’t expect any real answer. What could he say? Because he wanted to? Because if you can’t be happy together, you shouldn’t try to be now that you are no longer a thing? Or maybe the worst one: he just didn’t think this through. It would mean you were never important enough for him to think about the consequences.

There was no world in which Charles truly thought about you when he broke up with you at the beginning of the year. When you thought everything was alright, when you were looking for an apartment together, when you had that stupid conversation about having a family one day. He dropped it. The “I’m not sure I can’t do this anymore.” Just like that.

Did he really think about you when he couldn’t give a simple explanation as to why he couldn’t do you anymore? 

A single tear fell from your eye and Charles watched it run slowly on your cheek. “I just wanted to apologize.” he whispered, taking your hand between his. But you immediately dropped it.

“That would have been a first.” 

You both stayed silent for a few seconds before you started to walk back to the market. This time, Charles didn’t try to stop you. It was worthless and he knew that. You wouldn’t stop. You had enough. And even he knew that it would be unkind to try again.

You whipped the tear right before you met your best friend, standing in the middle of the road looking for you. You grabbed a chocolate cup and kissed her cheek to thank her. “Where were you?” she asked, more concerned that you thought she would be. How long did you disappear for her to have the time to buy these drinks?

You turned around and saw Charles coming back too. You watched as he grabbed her hand and gave it a kiss with a big smile. Yes. Something he used to do with you too. “Such a gentleman” you used to say when he did that. But now you weren’t the one getting your hand kissed.

“No way…” you heard your best friend say when she saw them. “This can’t be true right?” she asked you. And you wished you could reassure her.

But the truth was there. Charles broke your heart at the beginning of the year.

And he broke what was left at the end of it.

[1427]

When the Levee Breaks (pt. 5)

Daryl Dixon x OFC

Story Summary: The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her, right?

Chapt Setting: The Farm/Woods

Chapt Warnings: pretty explicit drug use (meth), season 2 Daryl, degrading/sexist language (he’s starting to get better lol), SOPHIA CHAPTER (I think that deserves a warning)

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: Daryl’s POV story. Daryl’s starting to be less of a dick, trying really hard to make it feel organic/make it make sense in the story. Idk. This chapter was really rough to write because… it made me sad. Also have no idea if it even makes sense (the hallucination bit, really hope it does) lol ALSO; I looked up some timeline stuff and i just?? Really thought Daryl was out there for days on his own? But apparently he wasn’t? We’re just gonna say that he is in this story. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can only do so much when the timeline of TWD is fucking stupid sometimes. (I mean it. Come for me. Idc. Rick was in a coma for 59 days without food or water???!?!!!? Bye)

masterlist

17+ mdni (no smut in this one tho sorry)

Like fiberglass in my veins, it tears through me. Mellow, at first, almost think I should rail more before I can feel myself sweatin’. Different kinda sweat, comin’ from my fuckin’ soul. 

Haven’t felt like I was doin’ something ‘wrong’ since I was little. That feeling that ch’ya get when you’re doin’ somethin’ ya know you’re not s’possed to. This ain’t the first time I done spazz, but maybe it’ll be the last. The anxiety about doin’ it goes away the second I feel the devil kick me through my nose to the back of my brain. Even though I know it’s comin’, it always feels like gettin’ skullfucked by satan. 

Been out here for a day. I brought Merle’s shit with me because I decided to finally get rid of it somewhere. But I got somethin’ that needs doin’. And anyway, I got years of experience with ice. Not doin’ it. Sometimes doin’ it. Never let Merle know, he’d’ve made some big whoop ‘bout it. And everytime he’d gone and done more than he remembered, he woulda blamed me. Shit though, sometimes it was. 

M’not like Merle and Beatle. Ain’t an addict. Can do shit and put it down. Always been able to put it down. Figured other people could too, that they just didn’t wanna. ‘m not sure, but still kinda think that. 

Never felt fuckin’ guilty about it before, though. Fuckin’ Beatle. I’unno if it’s cuz I’d be done with her if she did the same shit, or if it’s cuz I know if she knew that I was - she’d be mad at me. Mad I didn’t invite ‘er. 

But this shit ain’t for fuckin’ playtime. Only reason ‘m even doin’ it i’so I can find Sophia. So I can stay awake, focus, and get ‘er back. They use ta use this shit in war. War’s the reason methamphetamines even exist. Nazi’s? Hell, every single one of ‘em in WWII. Kamikazi’s loaded up, totally fuckin’ wasted outta their minds on crystal while they bolted ‘em in. Kept ‘em awake, kept ‘em happy, kept ‘em focused on the mission. Tha’s what I gotta do. 

I can’t stop lookin’ til I find ‘er. Sophia. ‘m the only one that can, only one that knows how. And anymore, ‘m the only one that seems to give a shit. ‘Sides Carol. And Beatle. She wanted ta come. Told her she’d only slow me down. Distract me. Drawn more geeks. She woulda. Told her I didn’t need food either but she packed me some anyway. Knew I wasn’t gonna be hungry. Knew I was gonna use this dumb shit to help. But whatever. 

Doesn’t matter what happens to me, right? My life’s not worth nothin’, not compared to that little girl. Now that her old man’s outta the picture she actually got a chance. Maybe not mucha one, not the way shit is these days. But she got ‘er mom. And ‘er mom can actually be ‘er mom now. Not scared of some piece’a shit prick that finally got what was comin’ to ‘im. 

Man fuck that guy.

The trail I’m followin’ disappears so I backtrack to the mangroves where I found her doll and try to find another one. 

I start to wonder what kinda old man Beatle had. What kinda mom? Startin’ ta realize I don’t know a damn thing about Beatle. I know she likes drinkin’, she likes laughin’, she likes fuckin’ with me. But… 

Beatle keeps surprisin’ me. Not just because she let me hump her face a few days ago, the fact that she liked it, shit I haven’t even had a second to process that. Nah, more cuz she hasn’t brought it up. Hasn’t tried to hold my hand again. Hasn’t been annoyin’ me nearly as much. Not even at all, if ‘m honest. 

My brain’s goin’ a million miles a fuckin’ second over Beatle and what happened between us. Not just the other night, but back then. Got questions that need answerin’ but she ain’t here. Try to keep myself occupied with trackin’ but it ain’t like trackin’ takes much thinkin’. Follow every trail I pick up, but none of ‘em lead me to Sophia. 

I’d prob’ly start gettin’ really frustrated about this, but that’s what crystals good for. All the dopamine I need, and nothin’s annoyin’. Focus.

✨🏹 

Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, walker guts. Trees and rocks and blood and mud and dirt and greens and browns and reds and blacks. And it’s dark and it’s light and it’s dark. And it smells fuckin’ rotten. Bent branches, wilted leaves, another trail, another dead end, another undead shithead. Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, Beatle. 

How many times did I go into Merle’s bag and take the devils dick up my nose? Cuz Beatle’s standin’ here right in front of me. ‘Cept she’s all done up in makeup and glitter and her pupils are the size of dimes. Little pink crop top, tiniest pair’a daisy dukes I ever seen. ‘n she’s in my face sayin’ the shit I been thinkin’ about her sayin’ since that day she said it. 

“I like you, Dar.” 

“You like bein’ fucked up more.” I say it like I said it the last time. 

“That’s not true! I mean - I like you, Daryl.” She steps closer, tries to put her hand on my cheek before I brush her off. She slumps back a little, turning away. “You like me, too. You said it.” 

My hearts in my fuckin’ throat and I’m standin’ there, this can’t be fuckin’ happening. I know is’not but doesn’t make it feel any less real. “Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle.” 

Hate that I said that to ‘er. Did I really say that? Cuz maybe that’s how I felt. Hell, maybe that’s how I felt last week. But it ain’t fair. I don’t know her. Still. Now. Don’t know ‘er at all. Thought I did. Thought I understood what kinda girl did those kindsa things. Is that really what I said? Fuck.

She’s still turned away from me, but I walk the half circle around to look at her face. And she’s sobbing. Silently, trying to stay as still as possible. I… I don’t remember this part. Maybe I didn’t see it? Nah, I saw it. Just didn’t care. Didn’t wanna look at ‘er. Didn’t want to hear her lame ass confession. Especially after she’d brought up that I told ‘er I liked ‘er. She sniffles and wipes her face before she pulls a bubble pipe out of the waistband of her shorts and lights the bottom, starts smokin’ it. She asks if I want a hit, like last time. 

I go to say no, but the words don’t come out. Instead my hand reaches for it. I look back up and Beatle’s dressed all different. Baggy jeans and a bikini top. That night. Fuck. Shit. I don’t want to relive that night. 

“I promise, I won’t tell Merle.” She says, handing me her lighter. And I smoke it. Inhaling the vapor slowly like she had. “You gotta sip at it, like it’s a coffee and you’re drinking the air to see if it’s still too hot. Roll the bowl or it will burn.” I do it the way she says. She’s like ten years younger than me, but she looks at me - talks to me like it don’t matter. Like she don’t see it that way. Guess I don’t either, never really did. 

I’d never wanted to smoke it before. But that night I wanted to. With her. Woulda done anything she’d asked that night ‘fore she ruined it. I ruined it. Til it got all fucked up an’ it was never the same again. Not the way I saw her, not the way she looked at me. 

I’m goin’ through memories like they’re happening all over again. Feelin’ fuckin’ sick. I don’t wanna remember this. 

I hand the pipe back to her and she asks, “How do you feel?” 

“Fine.” 

“Just fine?” She smiles. 

“Good.” I clarify. 

“Good.” 

Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “I think I like you, Beatle.” 

She laughs too hard, “you think?” I feel myself getting sicker and angry again all at once. 

I split in half. One half feelin’ those same feelings I felt. That this conceited fuckin’ bitch really acts like everyone likes her. I hear her words and it sounds like she’s sayin’ ‘well obviously’ - but the other halfa me hears it like a real question. Like she wanted ta know what I meant. I don’t remember how I responded then, but I can hear myself say it, “Self-obsessed cunt.” 

Beatle laughs, “Is that what you like about me?” 

My misunderstanding continues; Thought she was pickin’ on me. Makin’ funna me. All these years. All this time. Thought she was fuckin’ laughin’ at me. Never told a girl I liked her. Not that I never did like one, just never told ‘em. Not like some teenage fuckin’ confessional. And I do and what?  she just laughs.  

Shit. 

Cuz inside ‘m screaming. Screamin’ at myself ta say somethin’ different. To jus’ tell her. She’s special, she’s exciting, and when she smiles at the shit I say it makes me feel like I’m the only one in the fuckin’ world to her. Tha’s what she wants ta here. Tha’s why she’s askin’. 

“Nah. Forget it.” She nods, and I thought she did forget it.  She forgot until she brings it up again in the memory I already re-lived. 

Tha’s how I was so damn sure she didn’t give a single shit about if I liked her or not. Didn’t bring it up again for months. Didn’t give a single shit about me at all. Felt stupid for ever thinkin’ she might. Just a dumb crush on a dumb girl, and I forgot everything about it. An’ every little thing she did that made me like ‘er ended up as somethin’ else I hated.  And every time I saw her after that she was fucked up on somethin’. Meth or booze or weed. Usually all three. 

It comes at me like a fuckin’ freight train, her lips crashing into mine, but this time I want it. Don’t wanna stop kissin’ ‘er. Instead my arms move and I push her down to the ground. She’s wearing the crop top again, can tell she’d been cryin’. She’s layin’ there in the rocks lookin’ up at me and I flash back to the living room where this happened, where she’d told me she liked me back. I wanna beat the shit outta myself for makin’ her look like that. 

How didn’t I see it? 

I did see it. I just didn’t care. Thought I knew what kinda girl did those kinds’a things. 

Wonderin’ what kind of old man she had. What kinda boyfriends before she met me. How maybe she’s just as fuckin’ scared’a feelin’ stuff as I am. How maybe it took her months to even get up the courage to tell me after I’d told ‘er never mind and slowly started to hate her. How many’a those drinks were for courage? How many’a those hits were cuz she was nervous?

Shit. 

And she’s runnin’ away like she did then. Away from me an’ outta my life until a few weeks ago. I know it ain’t real but I run after her anyway. Screamin’ her name into the open air like maybe somehow I can change it if I can get her to come back. But she’s gone and ‘m still running tryin’ to find her. Screaming for her ‘til my throats hoarse. 

‘Til the walkers hear me. 

✨🏹

Andrea fuckin’ shot me. What is wrong with this fuckin’ group?

✨🏹

Beatle’s in the bedroom with me but I can’t look at ‘er. Don’t wanna. Feels like she knows what I was doin’ out in them woods without ‘er. Like she can see the dirty shit in my soul and for some reason it makes me ill. Can’t look at ‘er. Knowin’ I hurt ‘er like that all that time ago. Knowin’ it now like I ain’t ever known anything else. 

It’s just me ‘n her and she doesn’t try to talk to me. Just lets me lay there hatin’ myself for all of it. Didn’t even find Sophia. 

Spent a lot of my days in my life hatin’ myself. Thinkin’ I was good for nothin’. Now ‘m sure of it. 

I feel the bed move under the weight of her. She hugs herself around me, and like some pathetic kid I fuckin’ cry. Don’t know if she can tell or not but she tries comforting me anyway. “It’s okay, Dar. You did your best.” Her voice… how could I have ever thought it was annoying? Her bein’ so nice just makes me hate myself more. 

“Lea‘me alone, Beatle.” Shakin’ her arm out from around me. She gets off the bed and sits back in the chair she’d been in. God, I fuckin’ hate myself. Wanna scream No, come back. I didn’t mean it. 

Still got question’s that need answerin’. This time Beatles right here, and I ain’t got nothin’ to lose. “Why were you naked in Merle’s room?” Grateful that she’s sittin’ behind me. Don’t think I could talk to ‘er ‘bout this stuff if she was lookin’ at me. Right now? If I saw her face? Don’t think I could talk at all. 

She laughs. Fuck her stupid fuckin’ laugh. “I still can’t believe you think I fucked around with Merle.” 

“Why not? Y’all hung out every other day.” My voice is sharp, feels like she’s laughin’ at me again. Always feels like everyone’s laughin’ at me. 

“We all hung out every other day, Dar.” 

“Stop callin’ me tha’.” 

“I was carpet surfing. Your dumbass brother spilled all the schkag all over the damn place.” 

Oh…. But, “Ya didn’t have any clothes on.” 

“I never had any clothes on, Daryl. You sure I wasn’t just wearing something ‘slutty’? You know, like you always said I was? Cuz I don’t remember, but I’ve never been naked with Merle. Ever. Sounds fuckin’ gross.”

Oh. 

It made sense. Makes so much sense, ‘specially now. She keeps talkin’ an’ ‘m grateful cuz if I tried to say anything else I’d start fuckin’ cryin’ again. “I liked you, man. I…” she stops herself. Wanna beg her to keep goin’ but I can’t. 

Instead I ask ‘er the only question I got left, “Why’d ya leave, then? Ya left ‘n ya never came back.” 

She’s silent for a long time. “When you and Merle moved, where’d you go?” 

She did come back. 

“Why’d ya leave, Beatle?” Doesn’t matter where Merle and I went. She’s avoidin’ the question. 

“Got sober. After that night… with you. Wanted to get sober. Wanted to…” she don’t say the rest but she don’t need to. I got it. Fuck, my heart can’t take it. 

“Cuz I said ya liked gettin’ fucked up more than ya liked me.” It ain’t a question. I know. 

“Think it was more the other thing you said.” 

Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle. I can still taste the words. “Shouldn’t’a said that to ya.” My voice is barely a whisper. 

She gets back up on the bed and puts her arm around me again, this time I don’t shake her away. Her voice, so close to my ear, “I didn’t want to tell you that I came back. I didn’t want you to know that I got sober for you.” 

What? “Why not?” 

“Wasn’t sure you’d care. And if you did… I didn’t want you to have all the what-ifs in your head that I have in mine.” 

She hugs herself into me so tight it’s hard to breathe, and she tells me, “It doesn’t matter anymore.” 

I feel guilty, can’t take any of that back. Can’t make any of it better. I don’t deserve this. Her. After all the nasty shit I ever thought about her. After what I did to her the other night. I can’t bring myself to tell her to leave cuz I know she wants to be here. Don’t wanna make her cry again. 

So I let her hold me. Even though I don’t fuckin’ deserve it. 

[vergeltvng]

SPOILERS for The Boys Season 4

I'm still processing the final episode but here are some of my random thoughts, in no particular order. It was a wild ride and I enjoyed it for the most part. The season had its lows for sure and I'll never forgive the writers for how they treated Hughie. I'm still fucking mad about everything they did to him after episode 5. I also felt like they wasted a lot of potential with Annie's arc. She's been through a lot after season 3 and I loved the idea of her having an identity crisis but it was just so poorly executed. It all felt messy and as if the writers had no conclusion in mind for both her and Hughie's plotlines. Unfortunately I couldn't find myself caring a lot about Frenchie's and Kimiko's subplots which is sad because I love these two. I was hoping they get to kill that bitch Little Nina and Kimiko getting her revenge on the SLLA. Both could have happened this season before they got separated in the end. Instead we've been put on hold to wait if these plots get resolved at all. Firecracker and Sage were great additions, I loved to hate Firecracker and Sage gives off endboss vibes for me. I still feel like she's gonna betray Homelander in the end. Can't wait for "phase two". A-Train's arc was great, he truly redeemed himself and him showing up at the flat iron to save the others was proof enough for me how serious he was about doing the right thing. I liked all of his scenes with MM, too. I loved Ashley this season, I hope she gains some badass powers and kicks everyone's ass. I've seen some complaints about Homelander being nerfed - are we watching the same show? He is fucking unhinged and more terrifying than ever. He is basically god by the end of the season and can (and will) do whatever the fuck he wants with no one in his way. Someone telling me that's not scary?! He is and always will be one of the best villains in tv history. Poor kid Ryan, he deserved better. How is he ever supposed to feel safe around Homelander and Butcher phrasing it that way was downright evil and manipulative towards the boy because he knew it would make Ryan feel insecure and cornered. Him pushing and killing Grace was in self-defense. His reaction afterwards however is concerning and I guess ambiguous for interpretation on purpose. I still don't get how some people in the fandom could hate on a 12 year old child so much, leave the kid alone.

Where do I start when it comes to Butcher? I have many thoughts and this text is already long but I'll give it a shot anyway. Obviously I'm biased because I love this man and will defend him to the very end. I think his arc was one of the better aspects, he is still one of the best written characters on the show. What I always loved about him was him being truly morally grey and the ambiguity in his words and actions. He cannot be trusted. I don't know if it's me but Karl's performance makes him actually a lot more likeable than he deserves. He is a bad person and I don't think this is negotiable. I have thought about this so many times in made-up scenarios and I stick with my opinion that there's no fixing him and there never was. I have tried to stay away from fandom discourse as much as I could for my own well-being but I don't get how people act surprised and as a result hate over his behavior and decisions. I think most were true to his character and also him killing Neuman made perfect sense and was a well-deserved payoff narratively. Not that I'm not mad at him for doing so! I loved Vicky and she was such an interesting character. But his final words in season 3 were "that bitch has to go" and one of his main goals across the whole season was to get that virus to kill her. He was absolutely clear about it and worked towards this goal on his own terms, not even under the influence of Kessler. Certainly Kessler pushed him to commit some of his atrocities but it matched with what he wanted himself. He drew the line when it came to supe genocide and was conflicted about it initially but one of his core themes is doing whatever it takes and losing his humanity on his chosen path. Since he is highly intelligent he knows very well what's wrong with him what emphasises even more that he actively chooses to do bad things rather than being impulsive and regretful afterwards. I personally loved his turn at the end and I am eager to see his villain arc. What's not to love about evil daddy?! I could go on about some of the dynamics between him and Kessler but I'll do that in another post maybe.

[icekingofhope]

who is your favorite character from LMK? And your least favorite?

oh well I have many favorites of mine although my main favorite is the camel ridge trio (Peng tusk and azure) they are honestly not just my most favorite villains of lmk but in media

And what the season 4 special did to them was such bullshit but I already went in why I hate the special before

Cause like I can see their cause and actually rooted for them to win in season 4 I can see why they want to dethrone the jade emperor and why they wouldn’t let anyone stand in their way!

especially considering the times of ancient China cause let’s face it despite how beautiful and amazing the ancient times were…they were really problematic cause like slavery was a thing and normalized back then

and we also have problems in modern society with politics world hunger etc so it would make since why azure Peng and tusk would do the things they do and I can understand why they felt so betrayed by wukong cause imagine your leader who you haven’t seen in 500 years (assuming they didn’t even know he was sealed away under a mountain) and hearing about him again but he is working for a monk who was a celestial to get scriptures from India and your said brother had attacked not only demons but your old sworn brothers as well and even killed one (aka macaque)

I would honestly feel betrayed and angry myself yet I love how azure doesn’t hate wukong or hold grudges he literally was gonna keep him in the scroll till he killed the jade emperor then he would have released him and help him see reason

like I can talk about these three All damn day they are my absolute favorites of mine and they deserved a lot better then what the special did (and azure definitely did not deserve to be villainized and transformed into some type of tyrant and don’t say “well he had a lot of power so-“ my friend he was king before and from what I seen in jttw he was a great leader he literally calls his soldiers little wind cutters and don’t say they were always evil keep in mind it was wukong who attacked first they weren’t gotta hurt the monk or anything it just when wukong attacked they got pissed off cause it this)

and it makes me sad that people would hate these guys subjecting them to stereotypes that Peng is a asshole azure is a evil person and Yellowtusk…well who cares about him? Cause like all three of them are amazing characters in the show and book and mythology (even though it’s mostly Peng who is most of the mythology)

anyways for my least favorite…

it has to be either xiangliu or the mayor

unfortunately I could care less for xiangliu like I personally think he is a massive hypocrite and also batshit insane-

like he is not a monster he is just a psychopath cause who in their right mind literally starts the end of the world CAUSE OF FUCKING CHAOS?!

Now he may probably come back in next season I don’t know but right now I hate him

for the mayor….to me I don’t really also care much to me he is just the lady bone demons servant and it sucks cause like we don’t get to see why he is the way he is and why he fellows lady bone demon like a lapdog

and it feels weird at the end of the season 3 special he is nowhere to be seen i feel like if they expanded his lore more i may would have find him cool but like there is barely shit about him

(also I kinda hate his design it just looks so basic like I’m not asking for full details but make him not look like a business man with a bad haircut)

so yeah my main favorite is azure Peng and tusk and my least are either xiangliu and mayor

[pastelwitchling]

The Missteps of Bridgerton Season 3

I love Bridgerton, I love Polin, and I enjoyed the first half of the season fine... but as someone who'd started watching Bridgerton only because of Polin, who'd read the book, and who had been looking forward to this particular season from the very beginning, I have to admit that I was a little disappointed by what we got. Not because it wasn't good, but because it wasn't as amazing as it could've been.

And no, I will not be tagging this as 'anti.' I've gone through the anti tag, and it's some very vile bull from people who genuinely hate the show or hate the characters (or hate other fans), and I love them. I just have some criticism of a few choices made.

So. If you can't handle any critique to the show at all, then please don't read the rest of this. Otherwise, grab some tea and a snack because I have quite a few thoughts.

I don't even know where to start.

I think the most frustrating thing for me in the beginning was how many other plotlines they tried to shove into this season. I don't want to sound mean, but I don't care about Will and Alice's business, I don't care about Benedict's boring relationship with another dArInG wOmAn WhO dEfIeS sOcIeTy'S eXpEcTaTiOnS (more on that later), I don't care about Cressida's redemption.

In fact, let's start with her. This was such a bad fucking idea. Not the redemption itself, though I don't know why some storytellers think there are no unlikable people in the world, why every woman especially has to be redeemed and forgiven. Some are just awful, they exist, it happens. It's okay to have scenes of our characters just reacting to these people and navigating kindness and forgiveness in spite of them. But anyway, working on Cressida's redemption in this kind of story doesn't freaking work. Why? Because we've seen this character put Penelope through endless shit already, and her season is not the season to work on her bully's redemption. Because Penelope already lost her best friend to this girl, and trying to redeem her now isolates Penelope even more, because instead of Eloise getting to properly realize how much she's lost in giving up Penelope as a friend, we're getting her genuinely bonding and getting closer to someone else. Most importantly, redeeming Cressida now doesn't fucking work because you have her and Penelope competing for the affections of the same guy.

You can't pit the girl we want to see win and root for against her bully for the affections of a man, and try to make us sympathetic for the bully. Are we not supposed to want Penelope to get him? Are we not supposed to root for Penelope? I get the idea of complex characters and relationships, but for the love of the gods, Penelope has been crapped on over and over and over in this series. I don't know about anybody else, but I got so excited when I saw her with Lord Debling in the promos because I thought, "Finally! We're going to see Penelope actually be pursued and cherished by someone else!" And instead? We have her embarrassing herself in cringey and awkward conversations against the bully we're also supposed to sympathize with? This was the show's chance to finally give Penelope someone who values her, but oh no, we have to show how tough things are for Cressida, so we have to make her actual competition who actually connects to Debling as well. So which is it, writers? Are we supposed to root for Penelope or Cressida? When Penelope wins, which is already unfair because she's had to bust her butt to get this guy so it's always her in pursuit, how are we supposed to be happy for her when Cressida is in the corner all sad?

Don't get me wrong, when Cressida chose not to gossip about Penelope at the ball, I was really touched. But the problem in trying to redeem her is that it works, which then creates a whole other problem when her and our heroine are then competing for the same guy!

Speaking of that guy; Lord Debling. I'm conflicted on him because I like how much he comes to learn about Penelope (arguably more than Colin does, but we'll get into that later), and I like how genuinely kind he is. But I hated seeing Penelope have to embarrass herself in front of him. I hated that we had to watch this girl who already feels like less than everyone else not even properly get this guy's attention for half the time we know him. Why did the writers think that would be fun to watch? I thought a majority of the time with him would be spent with Colin's jealousy, but even in those brief moments when Colin was jealous, it was from a distance, and we knew that in reality, those conversations Penelope was having with Debling were awkward and kind of degrading to her character.

Which brings me to my biggest pet peeve in this whole thing. The changes made to Penelope herself. Look. I'm not a stickler for accurate adaptations, okay? I don't care if the adaptation matches the source material so long as it's entertaining, which is why I enjoy the Percy Jackson movies more than the actual show. How I see it, we get two different, very fun and likable versions of a beloved story. So I didn't come into this season hoping it would be like the book, I just hoped it would be a good time. However...

Something I did appreciate in the book, and in the past two Bridgerton seasons, was Penelope's wisdom. She was hopeful with Colin, but realistic. She knew she would probably never be with him, but she was determined to be happy anyway. Lady Danbury even calls her something along the lines of the cleverest person in the room, and that's why she takes such a liking to her. Penelope is supposed to be clever, witty, amusing, and wise enough to know that even if she may not get everything she wants, she has her best friend and a guide in Lady Danbury and the small joys of being alongside the Bridgertons, and that was enough for her. Colin saw her for that wisdom and wit, saw the love and joy and pride she had in her work, saw that her priorities were the people she loved and the craft she'd perfected, and fell in love with her for it.

Here? She's the butt of every joke, she's a subject of mockery and dismissals, she's someone to be pitied, not appreciated. Yes, she was a wallflower in the book too, but she had at least a few supporting figures who she admired and helped her be happy where she was. I don't care SO much that they switched the scene of him finding out she's Whistledown, so much as the fact that they changed the meaning behind it. Her and Colin honestly spent so little time together because the show was trying to shoehorn in all these other plots, and so when he suddenly decides he's going to stop her marriage, it feels like he just does it because he's horny! In the book, he's impressed with the strong, talented, and passionate woman she is. In the show, I technically know that he wants to be married to his best friend, but the scenes I was most looking forward to with Colin and Penelope properly talking more and getting to really know each other aren't even there, so based off what friendly interaction had he suddenly learned to see her differently?

Finding out she was Whistledown was a shock to him, and it pushed him over the edge of his feelings for her. Not to mention, him finding out she was Whistledown told him so much about her as a person. Really think about it; what does Colin Bridgerton in the show know about Penelope? Nothing! Lord Debling knows more about her interests and what she enjoys better than Colin does! Knowing about Whistledown also gave him access to a secret part of her that no one else was privy to! Taking that away means that when they get married, Penelope knows everything about Colin and his travels and what he enjoys, and he knows next to NOTHING about her! So we spent the season with her being a joke to everyone, her having to compete for a guy and fail for a good long conversation, and then her ending up in a relationship with a guy who never bothered to get to know her? Fun.

In fact, why don't we talk a little more about Colin, too. Um. What the fuck was he writing? I don't care that it's sexual, but him describing Greek beaches and Scottish pubs in the book and interactions he's had with people shows exactly how grown he really is without him even knowing it. In the book, Colin hated being known for nothing but his charm. He even resented it and turned bitter when Penelope brought it up! He wanted to be more than that, he wanted to have a real purpose and be taken seriously and even be perceived more like Anthony. Writing about the landscapes he'd seen on his travels and his interactions showed that he wasn't just travelling to sleep his way through Europe, but that he was actually learning about new cultures and experiencing new worlds and lands. Here? He's just writing smut! In itself, it would be fine, except that he CLEARLY had a problem not having a purpose in his conversation with Anthony and Benedict and when Penelope praised his writing, so he does want the same thing Book Colin does, except... doesn't just writing erotica completely undermine his whole thing of wanting to be known as more than a charming flirt??

Not to mention, Book Colin ends up publishing his travel journals, so how's this version going to do that? You can tell us he's doing it at the end, but it will ring hollow because we all saw what he's been writing, so if they try to divert at the end to Book Colin's ending, it won't make any sense when we've already heard what he's written. In that time period, how the hell is he going to publish that? AND Book Colin ends up giving his stuff to Penelope to read once they're married because he wants her opinion on it! How the hell is that going to work, giving your wife your erotica with other women to test read? I know it could be done, but the charm of the book version is then gone because it feels like you've reduced a cultured man to a rake who just wants to gloat about how many foreign women he'd gotten to sleep with. Doesn't even that then undermine the whole flirty act he put on in the first episode when even Lady Whistledown could tell he was just pretending to be someone he wasn't??

I'm so tired, so I'm going to end this with a few final notes:

Why does arguably the most charming Bridgerton brother, Benedict, always get the most BORING storyline? I hate the woman he's with, there's absolutely nothing original or charming about her, and I am SICK TO DEATH of these so-called "quirky, strong women who don't care what anybody else says because they're edgy like that," it's just so cliched, and I need that archetype to die already. I thought they were going to do something with the fact that she's clearly a lot older than him, but they don't address it at all, so there goes that interesting concept.

Francesca's fickleness was getting on my last nerve, and I was so bored with her storyline until she met that guy. Their relationship is a cute and unique one, but before he shows up, nothing of what she wants is clear. She doesn't mind meeting a guy, but the second someone actually tries speaking to her, she backs off. She wants to talk about music, but when someone tries to speak to her about music, she backs off. I just couldn't get a reading on what she wanted.

I really don't care at all about Will and Alice's business. It's the same storyline every freaking season.

Eloise's whole "It's not nice when Whistledown writes about you, is it?" is very stupid because Lady Whistledown has written plenty about Penelope's family before that point (and in the book, about Penelope herself). You can't have Colin acknowledging that Whistledown outed Marina in the first episode, and then have Eloise forget that Penelope threw her own family name under the bus to protect Colin.

The carriage scene, I'm sorry, was cringey and came a little bit out of nowhere. And I really didn't like that Colin was backing away until, again, Penelope put herself forward. She's always the pursuer, and I'd hoped for something different this season. I also didn't like that she had to be dumped first. Like, yeah, let's really not give her a single break until Colin deems it time to actually do something for her.

That's all I've got that I can think of, at least in terms of negative criticism. I'm sure more will come to me later, but this was the big stuff. And I don't want to hear anything about, "But Rin, the season's not done yet!" Yeah, but half of it is. No matter what happens in the last four episodes, this was how they started. I guess when the cast said it was their most graphic season so far, they meant the most graphic for everyone but the main couple, and isn't that what you wanted to see?

[thecluelessdoctor]

spins in a swivel chair

Guys it's fucking time.

HELLUVA BOSS SEASON 2 EPISODE ... 8?? 9?? Idk I forgot lmao

BUT THE NEW ONE

Boy do I have some things to say

Alright let's get into it.

I'ma start with what I think the episode did right.

Animation, as usual, is awesome, props to all the animators y'all did WONDERFULLY, esp in that beginning duet.

I like that they did a full on stolitz episode with no major sub plots. Yeah there were the cherubs but they were still pretty closely tied to the main plot so.. yeah lmao.

CLAPS INTENSELY

FUCK YOU BLITZ FOR BEING RELATABLE I HATE YOU FOR THAT/POS

Blitz is a character I've always related too and damnit this episode made it worse lmao.

If there's one thing I will always give helluva boss props for it's blitz's character consistency while still adding more layers to him. I also really liked how in this episode we see a more.. soft side?? To blitz?? Not soft but like - a more caring side ig lmao.

Also in this episode we get a real taste of found family like the show wanted us to see before and not just a desperate man trying to force himself into the lives of people who do not want him.

Also blitz in a different outfit always makes me feral because damn this man slays more than I ever could. Also back to the character consistency part, blitz's love for horses still being a little detail about him makes me happy like yes I love it when shows give characters interests without shoving it in your face.

The rest of IMP being wingmen (in their own, weird way) also is fun lol.

Also the cherubs and the DORKS working together is so fun i love the returning villains and I hope we get more of them lol. Also the cherubs being traumatized by the lust ring was ... Kinda funny. Honestly this episode was... kinda funny-?? It's still sex humor as usual but yk.

Also fizzy in rainbow pants let's fucking go.

And I'm glad the eyes on blitzø's gloves are being used and not just pointless clutter in his design. Because now they have the asmoduan crystal like let's go.

Also having a stolitz episode WITHOUT via or Stella even being brought up is SO refreshing. I liked how it was just about stolas' raw emotion, and care for blitz.

And HOLY SHIt. Ok. The end scene of blitz yelling at stolas' for "throwing him away", and once blitz REALIZES stolas' actually CARED about him, he tries to run after him, but it's too late. He's fucked up.

Ok I've sung my praises, let's go into my criticisms.

...

Honestly? I don't have TOO many. I still have some, I always do, but this episode.. was honestly really enjoyable.

Sure the sex stuff is.. pretty annoying and gets old fast but it's helluva boss what can ya do, really?

I feel like, now this is a whole show critique, not just the episode, but I feel like we are going to fast. We are told it's been a ton of time from the last time stolas and blitz did their monthly activities so ueah.

I feel like the emotional convo was a LITTLE stiff in the beginning, but yall? Brandon rogers make blitz sound so genuinely angry and sad, so I feel like it brought us back.

Anyway.

I'm Dotty, and I shouldn't be genuinely invested in this telenovela ass show

[tommykinard6]

I don't mean to pile onto your bad day but I've been seeing a lot of creators on tiktok complain/compare the bucktommy and henren tags/fic count on ao3 because there's almost more bucktommy fics then there are henren fics. The number one claim is always that bucktommy writers are racist because we don't write for henren. But like, that's not correct at all? People can write fanfiction for whatever they want to. If they want to see more henren stuff then they can write it on their own.

We can coexist without fighting each other. I'm just tired of people screaming about how bucktommy is anti this or anti that, when we're just vibing by ourselves and don't want the drama but the drama finds us anyway because Sucky People are loud and get heard the most.

You’re good, anon. It actually gave me something to think about during work.

As a quick disclaimer, before we begin, I’m not a POC. I am not speaking for anyone in the Black community and am not attempting to speak over them. My following thoughts are as a queer woman-ish who is also a writer.

I think it must be noted that Hen and Karen have been overlooked since day one. The fact that Buck coming out made it the “gay firefighter show” when we’ve had a beautiful canonical lesbian couple since the very beginning? Is only proof. Is this proof of racism in the fandom? Maybe. Quite possibly. I would argue that it comes from a misogynistic point as well.

If you look in any fandom, regardless of the color of their skin, any wlw ship is horribly overlooked. I’ve done some tag searching on ao3. Straight and mlm ships battle for dominance while there are canonical and fanonical wlw ships that have a drastic difference in numbers. This isn’t a good thing. But it’s an experience that spans fandoms.

I find it sad that BuckTommy has almost more fics, with only two episodes under their belt, than Henren with 7 seasons. However, this isn’t a reason to hate on BuckTommy. The ship didn’t do anything wrong. Comparison is the thief of joy and it’s also rage bait. I think that some creators simply are using anything they can to hate on BuckTommy. Which that makes it sadder, that they aren’t concerned about Henren other than pushing their own agenda.

This isn’t to say all creators who are speaking about this are doing this, but I guarantee some are.

Now, let me speak as a writer.

As someone with 62 published fics on ao3, I write almost exclusively mlm ships. This isn’t because I hate women. And as a queer woman-ish, don’t even start about homophobia. But for some reason, I find it so much easier to write men than I do to write women. This is true for straight and wlw ships and also just in general. I love Henren, but I don’t have the faintest idea about how to write them.

It’s hard enough to write as it is and I’m already writing on ships that are easy for me. I try to write women and it just hasn’t come out right. I want to challenge myself, branch out, and maybe I’ll write for Henren to do that. But I say all this to point out that for some people like me, writing some ships and demographics of ships are just a little more difficult.

That leads me into something else.

I, as a white person, worry about accidentally writing non-white characters wrong. And this was reinforced not too long ago when we had that whole thing on ao3 with deliberate racism in 9-1-1 fics. If anyone has resources or advice for writing non-white characters, I would love to hear that! The last thing I want to do is cause any harm.

I feel like I’ve spoken a lot about me, but that’s because I can’t really speak for anyone else. I can only speak from my experience.

We already have a ship war between BuckTommy and Buddie. We don’t need to pit more people against each other. I think we can love BuckTommy while agreeing that Henren needs to be seen and appreciated and treated equally.

End note to say: I tried to speak as delicately and as sensitively as I could, but if anything came out wrong, please feel free to point it out (kindly). Again, I speak for no one but my very little section of the world. I’m interested to hear what people of other backgrounds have to add!

[hellhound5925]

HERE IT IS 🙌🏻 THE MOMENT LONG AWAITED

Cyare Verd

*OC Raven x Hunter

A/N: Welcome back! I apologize for taking so long but ☝🏼 I edited my original story up to the fourth chapter only to decide I still didn’t like it so guess what I edited the same four chapters again 😅

I’ll start by saying, yes it still follows the season two storyline of The Bad Batch (unoriginal I know) but I did change it up quite a bit. If your looking for Omega (lol) shes gone 👋🏼 I was never a huge fan of her so I wrote her out 🫣 otherwise, I hope you enjoy the new version of my fic. I will be taking it off Wattpad and AO3 in the meantime so I can finish making edits.

Oh, one last thing. If you would like to be tagged please drop a comment or send me a message ☺️ Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time out of your day to read this. It means the world to me.

Anyways. Without further ado 🤲🏻 I present to you my updated fic 💖

Prologue/Background

Raven (If you see this. It’s the Pov for the following)

​Before order 66 went down, I spent my time on Kamino training new batches of clones for the Grand Army of the Republic. I met many of the troopers who lived there during the time including Sargent Hunter of the infamous Clone Force 99. Our interactions were usually quite brief but there was a certain charm about him I enjoyed from our very first encounter. However, I was there to perform my duty to my clan and that always came first.

​It was an honor to continue the legacy my father - Kal Skirata - left behind. He and my brothers - the Null ARC’s - have been off trying to thwart a plot they didn’t realize would lead to order 66.

​During that time, Kal’Buir had asked that I stay on Kamino not only for intel but also to get out any defecting troopers.

A friend of mine, who is another Mandalorian by the name of Aspen, posed as a supply ship for myself. She would drop off supplies or bring me an array of random items I asked for to validate her being there. Aspen would then smuggle troopers to Mandalore where they were to live out their days as they wished. A part of our clan. Clan Skirata.

When order 66 did finally happen, my brother Ordo had warned me to prepare for something big that would be happening soon. Whether or not he knew exactly what I’ll never know.

For the first few days, I lingered on Kamino waiting for any one of my brothers or Kal’Buir to contact me but it didn’t come. About a week later a droid appeared in my quarters with a message. ‘Get out now. You’re in danger Sen’ika (little bird).’ Kal’Buir was the only one who ever called me Sen’ika - mostly because I hated it but he could get away with anything.

Shortly thereafter, I packed my things discreetly and called for Aspen. She came within a rotation claiming the usual - that she was here to deliver supplies for me - and to my surprise they let her in.

The minute I was on her ship, the two of us left. We ended up on the planet in the mid rim. Where Ord Mantell became our temporary home.

Chapter One: Cid’s Parlor

Raven

Standing out in the busy streets of Ord Mantell, the sun beats down on my beskar fighting the darkness that rests on my shoulders. I will my feet to move it’s as if this weight is too much for them to carry.

My irritation radiates off me as the thunderous pitter patter pounds in my head each time a citizen passes by - must be nice to live so carefree - I think to myself. Yet they pay me no mind, even though the very nature of my armor is intimidating.

The dull black shein of a well-worn helmet that sits upon my head, with the infamous T shaped visor. The rest of the plates are the same color with a few iridescent feathers poking out from underneath. Ironic right.

This armor is my pride and joy. It was a coming of age gift - if that's what you want to call it - from my father. Kal’Buir was by far one of the greatest Mandalorians in the history of our people - though my opinion might be biased.

A wave of sadness washes over me at the thought of him, my family, my brothers, and my best friend Aspen. Shaking the thoughts from my mind I tell myself they wouldn’t want me to sulk. Aspen would smack me if she were here. Unfortunately, the two of us had to go our separate ways after getting into some trouble. What else is new?

Aspen has always been the friend I can count on for anything. We met as kids on Mandalore and practically grew up together. Once we were old enough, the two of us would drink - a little too much - and run our mouths. Sometimes I’d come home with a black eye and Kal’Buir would say ‘I hope the other guy looks worse’. With a osik (shit) eating grin he knew I could handle myself.

Eventually that trouble caught up to us. When I had been on Ord Mantell before, she and I got into it with a group of merc’s and Cid saved our skin. Usually I didn’t pick fights we couldn’t win but that time I did.

That was just after our home was bombed by the Empire. My family. My clan was there as far as I know. Rumor has it the surface is no longer safe. The blast destroyed everything and killed everyone. Grief does funny things to people.

Since then Cid feels we owe her every time she calls. Aspen was smart enough to ignore her but I can’t leave business unfinished. I don’t like owing people anything.

Bitterness courses through my veins and I find my feet moving through the doorway.

Hunter

Cid's Parlor is loud and crowded - as usual. Which for enhanced senses is why I prefer the solitude of the ship. Let’s not even get into the stench of hot bodies and alcohol might put me over the edge.

I take a deep breath to steady myself and push out the overwhelming sounds and smells, in an attempt to tune back into my brother's conversation. Echo and I were discussing whether or not the Marauder needs maintenance. Which is true it does. However, we don’t have the credits.

One glance over at Wrecker and its obvious Tech is beating him - again - at dejarik.

With a sigh and a gentle swirl of the pint in my hand, I watch as the amber liquid spins like a world pool. The sickly-sweet smell of blood orange and yeast reaches my nose. I let myself get lost in it for a moment, the scent totally washing over me.

The weight of the things we have had to endure begins creeping in. My men. Their safety and well-being are my responsibility. Crosshair.

Before I’m sucked too far into the void, my senses pick up something that wasn’t there a moment ago. Dark, sweet raspberry, rose. I’d recognize that scent anywhere after the hours I’d spent committing it to memory.

Lifting my gaze from my glass, it’s pulled like a force of gravity as a Mandalorian female enters the parlor. A warmth washes over me mixed with a little relief at seeing that all too familiar T-visor. I can’t contain the shock that creeps on my face at her presence or the memory—

‘Alright everyone, today we go over the basics.’ Her voice is crisp but not cold, giving orders and yet…silky smooth. I could listen to her speak to the regs all day.

She continues barking out orders which I recognize as the basics for hand-to-hand combat. I stop listening about half way through just to commit her to memory.

Covered head to toe in dark black beskar, her visor drifts over the group of men before her. The small frame is quite a contrast to the 6ft Clone troopers in formation. She has such a commanding presence, exuding confidence. My eyes roam over her curves and stop at the dual westar -35’s attached to either side of her thighs. For a moment I swear my heart might leap out of my chest—

Raven Skirata.

My trousers suddenly become constricting forcing me to shift uncomfortably. We only ever ran into one another a few times on Kamino. Mostly casual conversation about war efforts. The sound of her laugh when I told her about some of the things we’d improvised on missions, is one my brain never lets me forget. I never did get the courage to ask her about herself.

Raven crosses over to the bar and my eyes follow her every move. It’s only now that I notice she’s skinnier than I remember. Her complexion is quite pale in comparison to the dark circles under her eyes. The sight causes my chest to tighten. What the hell happened?

"Long time no see. I was starting to think you wised up" the Twi-lek bartender says by way of greeting. There's a long pause as the Raven drops her shoulders considerably.

"Unfortunately, I'm a little low on rations to be wise" she shoots back, that silky smooth voice taking on a sarcastic tone.

Having caught the attention of a rather large man - whose been talking loud enough for everyone in here to hear - he leans over to speak to her.

"Wow, that must be real beskar.......Wonder what kind of price someone would pay for th-that...." He slurs a little at the end.

In one smooth motion, Raven ejects her vibro-blade from her vambrace - the steel practically sings - slamming his head into the bar top with the other hand. A loud thud follows. Some of the patrons stop talking to stare while the Twi-lek laughs.

Pressing her blade to his throat she leans in close she sneers, "Try to take it from me and I'll find out how much someone will pay for your head.”

The man proceeds to mumble and she cocks her head at the bar tender as if in annoyance. Letting go of the man he slumps to his knees before getting up and stumbling away, hand pressed to his temple.

I have to work had to suppress the smile that threatens to creep onto my face, the corner of my mouth twitches anyways.

"Don't mess with Mandalorians" Echo chuckles, drawing attention. Raven glances our way tensing. Mentally I command myself to look away but I can’t. For a moment I swear, even through her visor we make eye contact.

Raven

After I’m satisfied I’ve put this man in his place, I let go and he slumps to the floor. Comments fly from over my shoulder but there’s that voice I’ve heard thousands of times that stands out.

I can’t help but turn and that when I see them. The red and white plastoid. Thanking my ancestors for the helmet, I roll my eyes at just how ironic it is they are here. Sargent Hunter and the Bad Batch. He and I have spoken a few times on Kamino but the others I’ve never officially met.

Frozen in place, I stare for a second. The Sargent doesn’t take his eyes off me with an unreadable expression. If I’m lucky he won’t recognize me - I think to myself. Forcing myself to move, I turn back to the bartender with a finger in the air, signaling I’d like a shot.

My gloved hands make their way to my helmet and gently slide it off, letting my messy blonde braid at the back of my head fall. Lately I find myself caring less and less about what I look like.

Placing my helmet on the bar top, I take a breath to steady myself before taking the shot. The burning liquid a welcomed punishment if nothing else.

The bartender nods over my shoulder and I sign knowing what's coming.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes" Cid says, throwing an arm over me like we are old pals.

I roll my hazel eyes "I'm not here because I want to be. Lets get on with it" I grumble.

"No 'Hi Cid, how are you?'" She asks.

"Nar'sheb (shove it)" I say in my native tongue with a polite smile on my face. She has no idea what I said to her but there's a snicker from someone close by.

————

"Remember what happened last time you threw your attitude around like that? " Cid scolds me as we enter her office.

Picking dust off my flight suit I sass, "I'm not here to discuss my 'attitude'. What's the mission?"

Cid moves behind her desk and crosses her arms "Fine, I need you to help out a group of fine gentlemen." She starts to explain, her tone a little too...chipper.

I raise a brow, shifting my weight and hum my dissatisfaction.

Cid immediately gets defensive, “Look it’s not my fault you mandos like to find trouble. You’re just lucky I was there to bail you out. Besides, these guys could really use someone with your skills. Dooku's private stash is being relocated by the Empire and I want you to help them get as much as possible".

The fact that she said Empire had my attention and attitude immediately shifts.

"I thought you might like that and I promise I'll give you 20%" she continues noticing my mood lighten.

"30 and it's a deal" I counter.

"Hey! I gotta pay those other guys too. I feel I'm being quite generous.”

I guess for considering who I’m speaking with… "Fine 20%, Now who are these guys?"

"They call themselves the Bad Batch. Wait here I'll go get them" she doesn’t give me a chance to respond before she heads out the door.

For a moment I stay where she left me and contemplate my next move. I can either play it like I don’t know them and take the chance their Sargent will recognize me or…

With an annoyed sigh, I stride over to her desk and set my helmet down before scanning the book shelves. Most of these I’ve read during my ‘spare time’ when Cid let me crash here before. Not surprisingly, there’s nothing new.

Leaning my back against one I take my gloves off and unbraid my hair. The blonde waves fall loosely over one shoulder ending just below my breast. It’s a wonder I ever let it get this long but a part of me just can’t bring myself to cut it.

I make myself comfortable at her desk, leaning back and kicking my boots up on it, When Cid flings the door open and scowls at me. My stomach ties itself into knots but I try to seem disinterested by playing with my hair.

There’s a chance these guys decided like the others to side with the Empire. But the odds they did and they are here? Slim but not zero.

Pushing off the desk I stand and stroll around to the front, leaning against it. A few golden strands fall into my face with the movement. My hands naturally side down towards my blasters holstered at my sides. A defense position that’s become muscle memory. The Sargent eyes follow my every move.

"Take it easy there Mando these are the good guys."

Cid rolls her eyes after seeing my body language. Once again in typical Cid fashion she hid this from me, likely knowing I wouldn’t come.

The largest one of the 4 pushes past.

"I'm Wrecker! I like to blow stuff up!" He says very loudly, sticking out his hand. My body is further tensing.

I hesitantly shake his hand, which compared to mine - even with gloves on - looks like it could easily crush it.

"Wrecker, I feel that last part was not necessary" says the one holding a datapad.

"I am Tech by the way.”

Nodding by way of greeting, I quickly glance over at their Sargent. Had I blinked I would have missed the split second of recognition before the mask of a leader slid into place.

The one with a socket arm glances over at him. Probably from the tension radiating off of me. Those amber eyes see me for exactly who I am.

My breathing picks up, but I quickly get it back under control. The former doesn’t seem to notice, not taking his eyes off me.

I decide to meet his gaze with a challenging one. Hoping to hide whatever it is he sees.

Shaking his head like he’s having a difficult time dragging himself from thought, introduces himself.

“I'm their Sargent-well was their Sargent...Hunter and this is Echo" he gestures to socket arm.

Echo waves at me with his socket and a soft smile. I nod slowly and clear my throat.

“I know who you are.”

Tech lifts his eyes from his datapad to look at me once again. Before he or anyone else can I say anything I continue,

“Raven. Raven Skirata.”

————

When I start towards my ship - alright so it's not really my ship, I stole it - I was so deep in thought I almost didn’t hear someone call out to me.

"Wouldn't it just be easier if we all went together?"

I stop not bothering to turn around "How do I know you won't leave me behind?"

If these are the clones I’ve heard so much about, there’s a good chance I can trust them. However, my instincts are telling me not to. Echo, almost like he is reading my mind says,

"You can trust us, we aren't like the others".

The sorrow in his voice fills the space between us, making me uncomfortable. I roll my shoulders, hands flexing at my sides.

Without saying anything I head up the ramp to my ship, gather a few things in my pack, and come back out to see Echo standing where I left him. The rest of the group must have gone to their ship. With a small nod he leads the way.

As we approach, I stop for a moment before heading up the ramp to admire the hull before me. An Omicron class attack shuttle but it’s been modified. It’s just as impressive if not more so in person. My brothers - specifically Mereel and Jaing - would have loved this thing, I can practically hear them fighting with even Ordo for who would pilot.

With a few steps up the ramp, I peer inside and it’s notably clean. Briefly I take in the surroundings noting the others up front in the cockpit area. Echo glances back at me sensing my hesitation.

“I’ll show you around”

I tip my visor towards him appreciatively, without saying a word.

————

Echo finishes the tour with the bunks, two on the left and two on the right. He gestures to the right, showing me which one is mine and offers me a gentle smile. With a quick glance I realize there are only 4 of them.

“Hunter usually stays up in the cockpit. You get his bunk.”

Great.

I nod my appreciation again and take my pack off my shoulder. The only things in it are a couple changes of regular clothes and some rations. I've not got much to lose that isn't my beskar these days.

Placing my pack on the lower bunk, the mythosaur skull on the back of my gloves stare back at me with hollow eyes. It’s almost like they know. Our people are gone. For a moment I wonder if anyone will even remember what it means.

I forgot Echo was still standing there until his throat clears. He says carefully, “Your father is Kal Skirata.”

My heart starts to thunder in my chest at the mention of his name. I finish settling my pack before I turn to face him. A part of me wants to answer but it feels like my mouth is full of cotton. I mentally thank my ancestors for the visor between us.

“He was one of my instructors. In my early days I mean. He was always really good to us. I heard about what he did...he got some of us out.”

Silence fills the space. I slide my helmet off, tucking it under an arm. Unable to look him in the eye, my boots seemingly interesting all the sudden.

“He’s gone.” My voice almost doesn’t sound like my own. Distant.

“Too many good people have been lost because of the war. I’m sorry to hear that.”

In his kind words, the galaxy feels a little less lonely. I finally lift my head and meet his gaze, seeing the loss there.

“I’m sorry for your loss too.”

Echo only offers me a somber smile in response. My walls go back up and I decide to change the subject. It comes out a little sassier than I had intended.

“So, you all have enhanced something or other right? I mean I was on Kamino and spoke to your Sargent a few times but mostly what I know is what I’ve heard.”

”Each of us had a unique quality. Wrecker is brute strength, Hunter has enhanced senses, and Tech is really smart.”

”Wasn’t there another member? Crosshair?”

Another sad look from him, “He chose the Empire.”

“Ah” I nod my understanding. “How do you fit in here?”

He rubs the back of his neck and chuckles.

“I was originally with the 501st under General Skywalker. We were on Skako minor and I was blown up. Captured by the Techno union and they made me mostly a machine.” Echo lifts his socket arm as a reference.

“My Captain. Rex. He and the Bad Batch rescued me. I owe them everything.”

That name. Captain Rex. It sounds familiar. ”No offense but you just met me and you trust me enough to tell me all this?” My sass once more evident.

He smiles and says “Your father spoke highly of you.”

My throat closes up at the same time pride washes over me. When I don’t respond he continues.

“I’ll leave you to get settled in” and with that he turns and heads toward the cockpit.

I watch as he reaches the others and takes a seat. Unable to do anything else other than process what he just said.

————

It takes me a while to recover from the conversation. A part of me hesitates to comm Aspen but I can’t risk compromising her.

Instead, I take my time to check my weapons (two blasters at my hip, vibro blade in my vambrace, and the various blades stashed in my boots and under my back plate). No one bothers to check on me, which is just as well. Finally, I end with checking the HUD in my helmet - which seems to be functioning fine.

Discarding my helmet on the bunk, I head for the cockpit where the others are chatting quietly. The hushed tones likely to prevent me from overhearing. Hunter stiffens as I approach which only confirms my thought.

The four seats at the front were taken up by each of the members. Leaning against the doorway I cross my arms over my chest plate.

"We don't have a reason to trust each other but once this mission is over and I'm paid, I'm gone. You won't have to worry after that.” The annoyance plastered on my face is visible to all.

They all glance at one another except Hunter, his eyes fixed on my face like he’s trying not to look anywhere else. He almost looks hurt at my comment.

"That seems reasonable" Tech says very matter of factly.

”Great. So, what's the plan?”

“Get to Serenno and scout the area." Hunter says turning his attention to space zooming by at light speed.

I sigh, "That's not much of a plan but I can improvise."

Wrecker chimes in, ”Ahaha you’ll fit right in!” Awkward silence fills the space before I break it.

“Right. Well I guess we should all rest up so let me know when we land.” Spinning on a heel, I head for the bunks.

Next Chapter here.

Wattpad link here.

Taglist: @cloneloverrrrr @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @idoubleswearimawriter @savebytheodore @savebytheodoresnonjosestuff @jediknightjana @techs-goggles9902 @clonethirstingisreal

Lemme know if you wanna be tagged in the future!

[itsblasttothepast]

f1 conspiracy theories - Checo Edition

As I'm already rambling away, I wanna share my thoughts in whatever is going on with Checo and RedBull, because honestly... what the hell is going on there?

See, I think is strange that my other boy, Carlos Sainz, still hasn't confirmed his seat for 2025. We know he's getting offers, but the announcement is being delayed. But we forgive him because he's super hot.

Anyway, I also found strange that since the start of the season, Carlos kept complaining about Checo, when they were friendly before, that honestly baffled me; Carlos and Checo always spoke so nicely aboyt each other, and seeing this was so weird.

And lately, with whatever is going on with Checo (he aged like 10 years since Monaco, and he looks so sad and defeated... but we keep forgetting that he had a crash that could have potentially killed him, and PTSD is expected), RedBull keeps reminding us that his contract has a 'performance clause'. Meaning: if you don't get the results we want, we give you the boot (as many, many, MANY people keep dreaming about).

Helmut Marko (president of the 'I hate Checo' club) keeps talking about how Spain, Austria and Silverstone will show if Checo stays or not... but what if the plan wasn't keeping Checo, but just pretend and then using the lack of good performances as an excuse to fire him and bring Carlos to the team...

I know it's far fetched, but honestly, now even Toto Wolff is saying shit against Checo. If I hear one more interview with Horner or Marko saying that Checo has to 'step up' and if he doesn't they could end his contract, I'm going to scream:

Anyway, this is my conspiracy theory of the day, so Checo, is you're reading this in one of your ghost accounts, I wanna share my dreams for you.

I wish Checo would buy out his contract. I think there's a penalty fee if a driver does not fulfill the contract, and if I have to pay a little more in my Telmex bill, so be it. Then I wish he could go back to Sauber, with Nico Hulkenberg.

It would be so amazing, because Sauber is developing their cars, and since they'll be Audi in 2026, they want to test everything, and Checo IS SO GOOD AT THAT! He was involved in the engineering room in Force India/Racing Point (his engineer cried when he had to go), and Nico is familiar with Checo, they get along (Hulkenrez, anyone?).

And most important, he would be free to fail and start over without eveyone always saying that he's a mediocre driver because he can't beat Max, Lando or whoever driver is before him. We would have peace and our boy could do amazing things again. The whole 'he has the fastest car and he should be close to Max' speech is followed with so many hateful comments... I think is getting to him and lowering his confidence. As human beings, like Michael said:

Or, since the CEO of Ford loves him, I suggest Ford to find another Lawrence Stroll so they can create a F1 team and make Checo the number 1 driver.

We'll see what happens, I'm nervous about Austria, but I'm with Checo all the way... if he goes to another team, I think it would be the best. And Carlos would be an interesting addition to RedBull, if my theory is correct.

I know I'm delusional, I admit it, this was just one of many conspiracy theories of the F1, perhaps mine is totally off the grid, but whatever, I still think there's something fishy with what's going on with Carlos and Checo.

And I love Carlos, this is not a post against him, I'm just curious about the whole team thing.

And on a cheery note to end this crazy post, here's a picture of beardy Checo, because it's rare and he looks super hot and good.

[yamatologistt]

im like, what, 10 years late to the whole walking dead game thing but i was way too young back then to understand the game. i hope people still enjoy it, its a really good game (and sad) but im only up to season 3 right now (i only really liked s1 and s2) but im not finished so i cant really make decisions rn

i just want to talk about ben rn and evaluate him cause im rewatching it and now that hes my favourite i notice more things about him now. (i literally look at him everytime hes in frame even if its just showing the back of his head oml)

but anyway i see a lot of ben hate and sure i get it but i dont at the same time ben is so silly how can u hate him

- to start, when we first met ben in the woods, he’d already been through some stuff, like he saw his classmate off herself and turn into a walker, his camp got raided and he was left with 1 friend and his teacher (who both still die btw) so most of what he had left before the apocalypse was gone

- when lee is rationing out the food, if he gives ben food first, kenny comes and tells lee that there’s kids that need food too, and ben literally is like ‘sorry i didnt want any trouble’ like cmon, and he’s literally a kid too he deserves the food as much as anyone else

- on the train he is interested in the controls and being up there, so we can see that he generally enjoyed it. but once lee gets the engine going, kenny comes and ben immediately has to go babysit katjaa clem and duck (he is also visibly upset) AND THEN later on lee asks how ben was doing and he says ‘im watching the girls and not working on a mega cool train’ (let him on the train immediately 😠😠)

- ok, so maybe he did sneak supplies to the bandits and i think this is just me being biased but i feel like him giving the supplies held off the bandits a little. i mean think about it, they moved on from the st john’s farm and started taking from the motel, right? im not sure how the bandits asked ben (if they made it clear then i forgot) but if he refused wouldnt the bandits come attack even earlier? i mean they needed the supplies right, and if ben didnt give them anything to begin with they would have raided the motel anyway. i mean they knew where they were even before the st john incident. idk its just a thought

- i think it was cool how ben managed to confess to lee that he was the one who slipped the bandits supplies. like you can tell ben is a good guy cause the guilt was almost literally eating him from the inside. and even though ben isnt one of the bravest people, he still confessed knowing that lee’s reaction wouldnt be pretty. (also his stance when leaning on the train railing was so silly to me)

- after they meet christa and omid, ben tells lee that his biggest fear was to be eaten by the walkers. i mean he literally said that if he got bitten he would off himself 😢😢

- also ben was always referred to as a child but he was never treated like one, everyone excpected him to be brave and strong but in reality he was just some scrawny highschool student who was scared and couldnt live up to his impossible standards. man, i really just wanna give ben a big hug

- if you tell ben to “kill anything that gets in” he responds with “you know you’re talking to me, right?” poor ben

- even though his biggest fear is getting eaten by walkers, you still have the option to leave him behind, and let him go at the bell tower. i mean how could u do this to him hes already gone through enough

- lastly, the part where ben tells off kenny is literally iconic, that scene singlehandedly made ben one of my favourite characters of all time, i was like everyone else, i didnt care about ben because i thought he was a bad guy since i never really payed attention to him. but i swear when he was telling kenny off it felt like i was being told off too. i mean his point was valid too, kenny had his family to say goodbye to, and ben (and literally everyone else) never got to see their family, (or they saw them as walkers, lee and clem,, :( )

- i know the last point was meant to be the last one but cmon its ben i could type this for ages longer but yeah. he had the literal best character development in the game. at first he was some stupid kid who was always messing up and before he died he was an amazing character who deserved literally everything. omg i cried so hard when he died cause when he fell i was like, oh i think its ok the fall wasnt too far and he said he only hurt his leg, but bro once we saw what really happened my heart sank bro it was so sad i really hoped nothing bad happened to him ☹️☹️ but i think kenny did the right thing cause like we said, his worst fear was the walkers getting to him. gosh i feel like i watched his death for the first time ages ago and i still cant stop thinking about him man

anyways, i would literally do anything to give ben a massive hug, he did his best and he was literally so funny too :((

(thanks if u read this far btw, i just wanted to rant about this man i love him so much and i will defend him with my life) 😠‼️

[sourslices]

hc that the titans know/knew dick better than the batfam — and it makes sense, but i dont feel like elaborating on this part. anyway...

it'd be nice to see too, yk... considering dick is the eldest in the batfam and (in at least fan content) he's known to be very caring about family and yadda yadda.

dick was the first. the first child hero/sidekick, the first robin... the leader of the titans. a charismatic leader, a faithful friend. most people idolise him, and even if you get disillusioned after getting to know him personally, there's still a certain amount of admiration and respect that will never go away when it comes to nightwing.

this also works with the yj universe — esp yj because dick's the youngest out of all of them (not too sure abt the titans, but ik he isnt the youngest)

damian's perhaps the closest to dick out of the batfam. most people are aware of the distance between them and him but jason and tim don't realise that they don't know a lot about his brother...

it starts with cass calling him out for pretending to be okay and even trying to adjust his body language to hide his fatigue and his wounds. it goes on with jason commenting about a movie night that dick had wrestled everyone into (the movie had been steph's choice btw) and then either roy or kori respond like this.

jason: *off-handedly commenting abt the movie night and dick*

roy/kori: ???

roy/kori: we saw that movie when it came out. dick hated it and swore not to watch it ever again lmaooo

or maybe it was food. jason talks abt alfred's meals and then kori chuckles and recalls how dick had told her that he wasn't too fond of alfred's cooking. jason had been like "???" because dick always acted like he loved it and then roy goes like no lmaooo dick finds most of alfred's food kinda tasteless. something about british men and not knowing how to put seasoning

when jason confronts dick, dick admits to it

dick: okay yeah true

dick: i didnt rlly like alfie's cooking when i first came here but he got better... gradually. it's better than before but

dick: ...if you ask me, i prefer his baking.

jason: roy said smth about him trying to make one of your ma's recipes

dick: i never asked him again.

dick: (starts thinking about how he had nobody to teach him how to cook like his parents did and becomes SadTM)

and then cass damian and duke all go like "??? im not alone ??" because in reality they all find alfred's cooking a little... subpar. its not bad per say but u have to rmbr alfred is old white british man and there are battles you lose. anyway, cass damian duke and dick all bond over this because they thought it was only them who found the meals prepared a little... yk. alfred still works on getting better but there is nothing that will beat food made by hands who know how it shld taste yk...

(sorry about the alfred slander)

anyway, tim starts to realise despite being dick's little brother, and the only little brother dickie had for a while, there's a lot he still doesnt know abt the guy. which is funny because tim used to essentially stalk him

kori and dick make up after a long discussion about assault and victim blaming and there are a lot of apologies and they resolve their remaining issues (that doesn't mean what happened was okay, or it was forgotten or whatever)

dick actually asks for some space and tells her their friendship will probably never be what it was and kori is sad but is like. okay. they're still friends after a few months of distance and a lot of therapy on dick's side. he didn't blame her for any of it but he still needed... time

roy and dick also sort their shit out. im unclear as to what that shit actually is because roy used to adore dick when they were speedy and robin but whatever they sort it out and there's some homoerotic tension between them im telling u... dick still asks for space el oh el it takes a while to recover from years of distance and they're not the same

but just because they aren't the same doesn't mean everything's different.

the titans are subjected to the changes in dick and they watch him interact with the batfam, meanwhile batfam realises they don't know a lot abt dickie while watching the titans take care of him in several different ways while they, despite being a family of investigators, didnt know smth was up. it's mostly donna who does the "taking care of"

ik i actually didn't mention many of the titans but... yeah

[hide-in-imagination]

Hi!! I hope you're feeling better! So... I guess you are never gonna write that Pregnancy AU.... May I ask how that one would play out?

Hii!!

I am so sorry, but yeah, I don't think I'll ever have the time😅

So this is basically the plotline: Simón and Ámbar managed to have a short relationship in Season 2 before he found the handkerchief and everything went to hell. It wasn't a long relationship, mind you, but it was, like, two months or something like that, and in that time, they got intimate with each other (bc in this AU neither of them were virgins, so it was easier for them to just let their raging hormones go).

Anyway, eventually Simón found the handkerchief and they had an ugly break up just like in the show. Ámbar still took revenge on the Roller Team by joining the Sliders and stealing the choreography, she befriended Emilia during the month and a half in Cancún, and then everyone went back to Buenos Aires and Ámbar is now wearing full black, just like in the show.

Except, she's been feeling kind of weird lately and it only gets worse once she's back at her house. She thinks it might be stress or sadness because it's not even her house anymore and she's surrounded by annoying people and her godmother abandoned her. The flicker of an idea was in the back of her mind but she didn't want to believe that because why would she? Simón and her always used protection, so there was no way. (And her luck was already bad enough, so there was no way. Life couldn't hate her that much.)

But as time went by and her period didn't come and she was vomiting frequently, she just had to make sure. So she takes some tests some day that no one else is at the house, just for extra privacy, (I believe I wrote this in a oneshot? I don't remember) and... they're positive.

Ámbar doesn't take it well, for obvious reasons. She's extremely angry at Simón for not noticing that some condom broke because that was the only way this happened. She immediately thinks of getting an abortion bc why the hell would she have this baby? She's too young, Simón doesn't love her, no one loves her, Sharon abandoned her, she can't just further ruin her life, she can't.

Except then she remembers that she is adopted. She remembers that someone didn't want her and gave her away, and she just... can't do that to another person. This baby is not at fault for anything. Every child should be loved at least by their mother.

So, she decides to keep it. She is Ámbar Smith, she can do anything and triumph, so she will have this baby and do just that.

But, of course, that brings the problem that she has to tell Simón, because, even if they had a horrible falling out and she doubted he would want to be involved (hell, she didn't even know if she would want him to be involved) he deserved to know.

Keep in mind, this is not like in canon Season 3 where Simón had a magical change of heart and started flirting with Ámbar immediately at the beginning of the season. In here, things are strained between them. Simón had a lot of time to think in Cancún, so sure, he's not as angry with Ámbar as he originally was, he does feel a little bad for how he ended things with her, but he's not sorry he did end up things because Ámbar did a lot of bad stuff, and she was continuing to do bad stuff, with no apparent remorse, so he couldn't be with someone like that (no matter how much he still has feelings for her and sometimes longs for the old days in which they were together and happy.) He has noticed that Ámbar hasn't been feeling well lately, and against all reason, he's a little worried, but he's not going to ask; it's none of his business anymore.

So, Simón doesn't believe Ámbar at first when she tells him she's pregnant and the baby is his. After all, how could it be his? They used protection every time, and he tells her that, to which Ámbar replies that condoms are only 99% effective, they can break, but Simón, rightfully scared shitless at the possibility and also not trusting Ámbar one bit, doesn't believe they could be that unlucky and accuses her, instead, of sleeping with some other guy in Cancún and now trying to latch this baby onto him.

Ámbar is rightfully outraged and hurt, but mostly outraged, because "Why the fuck would I be telling you this if you weren't the father? Do you think I want you in my life after how you threw me away? If I could choose literally any other guy on the planet, I would!!" And "Lovely to know that you not only think of me as a liar but also as someone who just sleeps with anyone. Thank you very much, Simón. You know what? Think whatever you want. I'll take care of it on my own. Forget I said anything."

(Of course, that 'I'll take care of it' could very much mean 'I'll get rid of it', Simón has no idea she has decided to keep it, so there's that.)

Eventually, (and it doesn't take that long, really) Simón comes around because Ámbar's logic does make sense (Why would she tell him of all people when they broke up horribly? It had to be true) and also because, well, Ámbar looked sincere (he ignores the voices in his head calling him stupid for trusting her) and condoms aren't perfect, and he wants to believe that what they had really did mean something, and they created something beautiful together as proof of that, even if the magic of those days is dead now.

So he appeals to Ámbar, tries to tell her that he wants to be part of it, but Ámbar is shutting him out because she's mad as hell at him (and maybe she's mad at a lot of other things and projecting that onto him as well, but fuck him, he got her pregnant at 18)

Eventually, they have a deep conversation and decide to do this together, even if they're not together anymore. (I wrote a oneshot about this, it starts as a fight but it deescalates.) So, Simón supports her in every way that he can, goes to the doctor's appointments (if Ámbar lets him tag along), reads info on the internet, pretty much gives up on his music dreams because he needs a better job if he wants to help Ámbar take care of the baby, etc.

(When Ámbar finds out about this, she tells him to not drop everything for her, that she has money, that Luna already promised to give half the fortune to her to support the baby, but Simón is not convinced. He has to do something. He is half-responsible for that baby and Ámbar is already doing everything by carrying it to full term, how can he not contribute with something?)

Btw, telling both their families is a whole mess, but eventually, they all come around because they're good people. (Some relatives of Simón do say that he should marry her because it's the responsible thing to do, but they're old-fashioned, and Ámbar wouldn't want to marry him even if he asked. ......right?)

So, the pregnancy moves forward, making them share little moments together like the ultrasounds, feeling when the baby starts kicking, learning the gender (It's a girl!!), and both talking and singing to it because they learn that she can hear them and they want her to know her mommy's and daddy's voices. ("We'll probably make a lot of mistakes, little one, but we promise to do our best for you.")

Throughout all this, Ámbar mellows out because, she's a mother now, all those petty rivalries and revenge plans are not important anymore, her baby is, and she wants to be a good example for her, she doesn't want her to go through what she did.

And Simón was always soft, but he softens even more when Ámbar stops being hostile towards everyone and instead starts acting like the Ámbar he fell in love with. Plus, she looks absolutely radiant. Whoever came up with the term 'baby glow' was 100% correct-- She's never been more beautiful.

By the second semester, the attraction between the two is all alive and kicking again (and was it ever really gone?) and around month 5 they end up kissing because they just couldn't not to. But it's not as simple as that because now they have a baby to think about. They can't just try and date again, that already didn't work once, and they had enough problems and things to deal with now to add a blooming exes-to-lovers relationship to the mix.

So they don't get back together... yet. The feelings are there, the attraction is there-- Hell, they kiss sometimes because it feels right and as long as it's just some innocent kisses, there's no problem, right? (It does get heated sometimes- But is still just kisses!) They agree that it's just not the time to rekindle this thing between them. They should wait until the baby is born, see if after months of sleepless nights and changing diapers and stress taking care of it they still have feelings for each other, and if so, then it could be smart to try again.

Except-- FUCK THAT, because they love each other, Simón loves her, and Ámbar could die in the delivery, and then what? They were never together because of fear? Who cares if it might not work out, no one ever knew that for sure, and it was precisely because of their baby that they should try. She deserved a whole family instead of a fragmented one, didn't she?

Simón conveys all of this to Ámbar, speaks about hope and believing in love and about how in love with her he is and how much he loves their daughter already, and how he just doesn't want to wait to be with her and start their life together.

It's all so beautiful and emotional that Ámbar's eyes water and... Oh. Her water broke.

Oh Shit.

oH SHIT!

So, anyway, they rush to the hospital (don't worry, the baby was close enough to full-term that it's not really dangerous, it's fine) and Ámbar has the delivery (she curses everything and everyone while Simón tells her she's strong and she can do this!) and, eventually, their beautiful daughter is born.

They both cry. Well, and the baby too, of course, so that makes three.

In the end, it all works out; They're together, their daughter is (demanding, exhausting, overwhelming) healthy and beautiful and they love her so much, everyone dotes on her (Simón moved into the mansion for the time being, and Ámbar's whole family is there to help them raise their daughter, so it's not so hard), Simón and Ámbar's relationship seems to be working even with all the stress (they support each other, so that helps them bond), oh, and the Roller Band does get a record deal (BECAUSE THEY DESERVE IT, THEY BASICALLY HAD IT WITH VIDIA, YOU CAN NOT TAKE THAT AWAY FROM THEM.)

*Cough* So, happy ending to everyone! Eventually, Ámbar finds the time to go to university (I'll let you choose what she studies), and once she graduates, Simón proposes to her, she says yes, and they live happily ever after with their lovely daughter <3 (And if there's another little one on the way after the honey moon, well... 🤫 Don't tell them yet, it's a surprise.)

[blooming-lily-petals]

Warning; Rant.

Yeah… I thought the Helluva Boss fandom was going to understand finally that Blitzø isn’t the main bad guy in the ‘relationship’ of stolitz.

So the eighth episode of Helluva Boss’s season two came out and no surprise there… everyone hates Blitzø but no one is even mad at Stolas. God dammit, I should’ve expected this.

If you are NOT 18 or older, you might take offense to this. But understand I’m not insulting anyone. I’m just pointing out the things people tend to ignore.

Disclaimer: This is NOT a Stolas slander post. I’m just pissed that all I see is “fuck you Blitzø” and “oh no baby Stolas”

Oh boy, so let’s have a rundown of the Stolitz relationship. And why Blitzø isn’t the only asshole in the relationship. Specifically Stolas in the episode that we just saw.

Blitzø is owned by Stolas because Stolas’ father, Paimon got Blitzø for Stolas on his birthday to make him stop crying. Blitzø is owned by the Goetia family and specifically Stolas.

About 25 years later, Blitzø steals the grimoire and had sex with Stolas to keep him from noticing that he stole it.

They have that type of relationship later one every full moon and yadda yadda yadda.

Stolas never once acted like he cared for Blitzø and Blitzø doesn’t really know how to talk to people and be vulnerable. We saw when Blitzø and Moxxie were tripping balls early in the show; Blitzø saw Stolas and gained chains on him; indicating he’s a sex slave because he technically is. He saw Stolas as higher than anyone in this world, the most amazing thing on throne at the top of a large staircase right outside the gates of Heaven. Stolas is untouchable, an Angel to Blitzø. He loves him very much.

Fast forward a bit, Ozzie’s place; when Ozzie and Fizz were making fun of Blitzø and Stolas’ relationship, Blitzø desperately looked at Stolas, hoping he’d say something to help and Stolas looked away embarrassed, communicating that he’s embarrassed to even be in the same place as Blitzø. That’s how Blitzø took it if that’s not what Stolas, but even I would believe what Blitzø believed if that happened to me.

So Stolas makes it clear every time as Blitzø said, that all Blitzø is is a sex toy. Don’t make me have to remind you guys that Stolas always called him “my little impish play thing” that’s not a sweet, romantic, sexual nickname, that’s a red flag. That’s a dick move.

Fast forward a little more; Blitzø could not go to the hospital that Stolas stayed at. If he did, that’d be bad and dangerous for the both of them. I’m pretty damn sure that Blitzø wanted to visit him because he almost died, did you guys forget the look on his face when he found out Stolas almost died? He was so distraught and sad, worried even that he was the first to text that time; mind you, he doesn’t know how to read or spell, he can’t even spell Moxxie’s name right as we see in the recent episode.

Moxxie even commented about that episodes earlier saying something like this, “we’re not going to get clients with a poorly written and spelt flyer”. It may not be word for word but he did comment about Blitzø’s lack of knowing how to spell. It’s even in the backgrounds everywhere.

But anyway, he couldn’t go to the hospital because that would cause paparazzi to make things worse that an imp; the lowest of the low in hell, is visiting a Goetia in the hospital. You know, the people who are RIGHT BELOW the DEADLY SINS in the hierarchy chart of Hell in this show and Hazbin Hotel. Yeah, no. Blitzø didn’t wanna do that which is understandable. And then he can’t even text Stolas because he’s looking for his sister in literally the next episode who is an ungrateful bitch that hates him for something he didn’t do on purpose! Yeah, like he has time to text Stolas, who again he thinks still uses him for sex. Which again is understandable with all the shit that Stolas did.

Alright, fast forward again… catch up to this episode… yeah, Stolas got him the gemstone so he can start fixing what he caused; but it would’ve been nice if he texted or called him to warn him that they’re going to have a chat when he gets there. Also would’ve been nice if he didn’t react interested to what Blitzø was showing him and then dump the conversation on him. Also would’ve been nice if he would’ve let him think and understand what Stolas is saying. Have a conversation about it, let Blitzø see that he is apart of the conversation. So obviously Blitzø is going to react how he does because again, Stolas only cared about himself and how he’s affected. When having a conversation about something like this, you need to pay attention to the other person you’re talking to. Understand what they say and try and come up with something together and not just throw them out your house when they’re blowing up because you didn’t let them think, claiming that you always thought of them highly, when you never showed that you did and had them understand until just then. Stolas didn’t even let him process.

In short, both Blitzø and Stolas are assholes, they’re lovable assholes, but their assholes. But this time, one (Stolas) was more the asshole than the other (Blitzø). Talk to your partners, let them have their moment too if you want them to know you care. I expected them to break up and take a break from each other, because they needed it. I’m just trying to say that Blitzø wasn’t the bad guy this time. Think of what you’d do if you were in his shoes throughout the entire time of this ‘relationship’ they had. You would blow up to and you know it though you don’t want to say it.

If you hate Blitzø in this scene, it shows you didn’t pay attention to what he said.

In conclusion, I was just saying that Blitzø isn’t the bad guy every time. Please stop putting Stolas on a pedestal just because he’s more attractive.

End of rant.