#anyways im tired of that shit so i deleted the post

[stinkypire]

Twitter Fandom Rant post (ignore if you want)

I genuinely hate twt because i make one tweet about how kinning characters for surface level traits is stupid and they tell me to "go outside" "get a job" "who cares people are dying" in the quote retweets.

As if on that account, I wasn't actively and consistently reposting palenstine stuff, as if I didn't have free palenstine in my name. Apparently people aren't allowed to have an opinion on the internet about other things. Besides, if you don't agree with someone's opinion ignore it, why be so rude like that?

Besides the post was directed towards the bsdtwt fandom, primarly talking about how complex, nuanced, and deep characters are only kinned because of one single trait which causes immense mischaracterization of the character. Causing the character to be watered down and a general misunderstanding of said character. Kinning characters like Dazai only because he's suicidal is stupid imo because he's more than that, he's not just a "quicky suicidal man uwu". He has character, he nuance, he has depth to him.

I was NOT saying you're not allowed to kin characters, that is not what I was saying at all. I just simply asking people to look more into the characters they claim to kin if it's a complex character with depth, that is incredibly well written.

I was simply asking people to see the complexity of characters and people say shit like that. But what to expect, twitter sucks.

(not to mention, I love how most of the people who were from bsdtwt knew what I was talking about and was annoyed. It was just people from other fandoms that were attacking me and upset)

[herequeerexitentialfear]

Attept 2 [the first is not seeing the light of day] I need to make her a proper pallet. This will take a lot of colour picking bc lighting effects but it will save time. The old one is badddd and idk what each set of colours are for... anyway her<3

[pepprs]

it’s that time of year where i want to remake my blog so so so bad it’s unreal and then i don’t. lol

[grapeszn]

INSTAGRAM JUST UP AND DELETED MY SAVED COLLECTIONS. I SPENT LIKE A YEAR SORTING POSTS INTO THOSE COLLECTIONS. IT ALSO MYSTERIOUSLY AND WITHOUT WARNING DELETED A BUNCH OF MY CHATS WITH FRIENDS FROM MY INBOX. I LOST SO MANY IMAGES AND VIDEOS MY FRIENDS SENT ME OVER THE YEARS. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

[mizugucci]

im gonna give tumblr the night to get its shit together before i make it a big issue because this isnt funny anymore

[sensazioneultra]

this combo of songs from my shuffled library is making me cry and feel everything at almost 11pm

[thecherrygod]

Toxic masculinity is so fucking stupid you see a guy who's clearly in pain and wounded, and you are like "oh to open that door you need to push hard. I can do it for you" because you want to prove you're strong and reliable in front of someone who is, at the time, weaker than you, prove you're the stronger man

But then the wounded guy also has his pride. You tell him all there is to do is push hard? Even with an orthopedic neck on, he won't admit in front of another man he is in need of help. If all he needs to do is show he's still strong besides anything, he will, even if it's in vain, even if he ends up wondering if now his clavicle is broken or maybe misplaced, even if at the end he needs to call a locksmith, he will do the masculine thing first, as much as he can. He just won't allow himself a moment of vulnerability, even if admitting being weak would be the reasonable thing to do, the only viable option seems to be to show you are the strongest, even at your worst

Like. Please. Use your brains and consider the locksmith who you still needed to call anyways bc your lock is broken as your first choice before potentially harming yourself it's not that fucking hard

[matheoxs]

LITTLE BIT OF VENT?? Scroll if you don’t wanna read..

Just cut off this girl, some of y'all know I was trying to manifesting my sp, but stopped cause like this who used to date me said she wanted to make things work again. We broke basically, but we were still friends, and we both still like each other, basically a situationship.

This fucking girl ruined my fucking life, okay? While we were trying to make things work cause it didn't work last time, and while we were making things work, she went on sending pics to another guy. So, I asked her, "Did you think of me while sending it? Like did the thought of me give you courage to not do it?" She didn't even fucking respond to that text. She will always put blames on me cause she doesn't like being the "bad guy." God, I did everything for this girl, but she wasn't looking at me, she was looking at other guys. She didn't make me feel seen and wanted like im supposed to be your man??.

When I'm saying I did everything, I'm saying from the bottom of my heart. Even when I was crying, I was still trying to listen to her. Even when I felt like my heart was broken, I was still listening to her problems. It didn't matter what I have going on and what I'm feeling, I still did stuff for her. I loved her unconditionally, even after the pics. I fucking forgave her, and look, I did some bad things too. I apologize for it. I tried to change for her, but she was never patient with me. Whenever I'm around her, I feel this feeling like I need her in my life, and if she's out of my life, I won't be able to live. This shit has been going on for fucking 3 years, yeah, 3 fucking years talking with her.

The truth is, I didn't need her, and that made me realize who I am. Like, what the fuck am I doing? I think the reason why I couldn't manifest my dream life is because of the feelings the relationship was giving me. It distracted me, made me think the opposite, or maybe I'm just assuming?

But anyways, I blocked her, deleted the pics she sent to me, well, yk, those kind of pics (I never asked if she just send it to me cause she felt really comfortable around me and safe) . And cause that's not who I am, I don't go posting people's bodies online. No matter how much a person gets me mad, I will never reveal that shit, cause that person trusted me with it.

Now, I feel like me, l feel like I can manifest my dream life. I feel like I can do anything, and I am going to get it cause it's supposed to be mine.

And no im not gonna manifest her back I don’t like being disrespected but I will manifest that my relationship with the sp to be healthy cause god im tired i did so much but im not gonna stop right? Like will a person who’s living their dream life will be accepting this ? No.

[babymorte]

okay so im not turning anons off because i still want to give people the opportunity to communicate with me and feel comfortable in doing so if they need to do it anonymously.

that being said because people can’t be fucking chill there’s going to be rules and these rules will be followed or im blocking people. i do not care who you are or what our relationship is. i am done with these bullshit games. i am done being baited. i am done with people accusing me of doing stupid high school drama shit. if you don’t like it, don’t send me asks. my rules are simple and im sorry it has to be this way but im left with no choice at this point.

• my personal life is absolutely off limits.

• my relationships are absolutely off limits.

• any sort of sexual conversations unless it is on my nsfw page and is respectful or is part of an ask game is absolutely not allowed.

• do not ask me what my type of person is, what my sexual preferences are, the way to win my heart or what i find attractive in people unless it is part of an ask game. i am tired of being baited by people and accused of shit.

and most importantly

• unless it is part of an ask game do not make any assumptions about me, my life, or my relationships.

i know some of yall have vpns and i cant do shit about that but i will be blocking the ips anyway and if you continue to return as you most certainly always do you will be ignored. im done being treated like shit by people who literally don’t fucking matter and i don’t care about. i don’t know why you even follow me if you have such an issue with me or the things i do. i treat every single person with the same exact energy whether we talk on here or other socials so i don’t know why people assume shit about me or constantly think im being shady. i owe no one anything and no one has any right to come into my space and try to run their mouths for no reason other than to be an absolute prick. i don’t fucking care anymore. im done sitting back and just taking it. i am a nice person but my patience has gone and i will not tolerate any of this anymore.

to my actual friends that i talk to on the reg and my mooties and the people who are always so so kind to me and do talk to me about actual dope shit i love you all to the moon and back and im so so happy to have had the privilege to meet each and every one of you. yall have helped me through some of the worst times in my life just be being yourselves and hanging out with me and i owe you a debt i can never repay. i know it’s corny and i know my words don’t mean shit but i do see you all as friends and my family and I hate when people say this but i love this little nerd ass community we got going on this side of the internet. im sorry this post even exists but i literally dont know what to do anymore except completely delete my account and i really dont wanna do that 😅

but i adore you all and just seriously thank you for being so fucking chill and hanging out with me for the past however the fuck long ive lived on this hellsite 😂🫶🏻

[utsuboh]

so for anyone who's known me long enough this one's been a long time coming

i am leaving the tumblr rpc. i wont delete my blogs, they'll be here because i like my characterizations. but i just can not keep up anymore. emotionally, or mentally, with the state of the rpc. and between the shit people have put me through here, and the general speed at which everything moves- i don't enjoy it. there is also this massive surge of proshipping, and antis, and five hundred other things i shouldn't be expected to keep up on. like this shit is not a job, i do this for fun. and roleplaying on this site is not fun for me anymore. there are just lines you don't cross, and it isn't my job to sit here and babysit people- or obsessively lurk to make sure it isn't happening.

the point it boils down to, is that the tumblr rpc has a lot of problems. ones i am too tired to keep up with. im barely online anymore anyway. i come on to shit post, then might answer like two asks a week.

that said. if you want to keep writing with me? talking to me? plotting with me? i'm perfectly content doing so on discord. in fact i do a lot better without the stress of formatting and icons and whatever else. sooo, here are some places to find me.

discord: bunbite twitter: @Burdybites art tumblr: bunniearts

maybe one day i'll come back. maybe i just need a long break from tumblr as a whole. but right now the state of tumblrs rpc is not fun. and it gives me nothing but anxiety lmao. so byeeeeee ~

[hardwaresysx0]

im going to go on an autism ramble i am WOMBO COMBOING two fixations. JAY FOREMAN. he makes this really neat guitar music with really creative lyrics and shit right. well i kinda made this weirdly specific connection. and he reminds me of sniper from tf2 lowkey. and now i'm just thinking sniper would be kicking ass at like a campfire or something, yknow when people play the guitar around the campfire right. yeah that but anyway what im getting at is. the one issue with this headcanon is that jay foreman is british (or at least i assume he is considering Something Oddly Specific) and sniper is australian so it would be weird to headcanon his voice as jay foreman, plus its not THAT fitting i guess. BUT BUT BUT BUT. i read this fanficton right. it talked about how he never really ended up liking women. gay people ANYWAY uh. hm so theres this one song called "slightly imperfect girl" by mr foreman that could possibly be him before realizing that, its about "if like me, you've been single for a long time, and you're looking for the right person, eventually your standards drop" it's quite a funny song actually you can listen to it here but then later he realized Wait a damn second! IM A GAY ASS you know? also i really think he would play guitar he just REEKS guitar to me. ive also seen people headcanon him as playing saxophone though which could also be fitting but now im just thinking about how in this fanfic ive been brainrotting over GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA you know? you know. you do not know. hold on let me open the fanfic and get a screenshot. THE FANFIC IS RUNNING BLIND BY THETRIGGEREDHAPPY BTW. its not fully done yet but ive already reread 5 of the chapters because of how good it is. heres a link to it if you want anyway i just opened it and found this funny screenshot instead of the thing that i was looking for so you're looking at that now. wait nvm its not that funny without context it just looks like some guy getting over the head with a wooden stick. anyway let me find what i was actually looking for HERE IT IS

im going to kms i just deleted like half of my rambles im gonna cry. im gonna kill something im gonna bite you. im gonna bite the reader. but its okay actually because i got really really off track. im kinda tired of typing actually. maybe ill do more later but my brain is too tired to come up with anything more than this NO WAIT I LIED im going to talk about jay foreman now POTATO. potato song. thats one of the ones where once you listen to it after a while it isnt really that funny but its hilarious the first time you hear it. heres the potato song (animated for your viewing pleasure).... it would be more than strange, it would be horrible!/lyr i never thought a song about a potato prime minister would be so entertaining but here we are. AND THERE'S THIS ONE SONG BY JAY FOREMAN. WHERE HE DOES THIS FUCKING AMAZING MOUTH TRUMPET IM STILL SO SURPRISED HOW DID HE DO THAT?! YOU KNOW??? heres that one the lyrics are also really good honestly its soooo clever. one of my favorites of his. if i could do that mouth trumpet i would pull so many bitches..................... but what im getting at is that sniper would probably sing at least SOME of these. sometimes. as a treat. but he doesnt like singing that much so you gotta ask him really nicely and even then he'll be all like SIGHHHHHH or whatever, yeah

the original post where i thought about this i said that the song that he would most likely know is pretend you're happy by jay foreman(obviously its by jay foreman/t) and the reason why is BECAUSE OF THE FANFIC I READ OKAY. it goes into depth kinda about a surprisingly amount of mental illness. but it reminded me of him because of how my view has changed on the character after reading running blind like im putting it in my mouth. i am putting it in my mouth you dont understnad im going cray cray bonkers over this fanfic. i think im gonna look at more potential fanfics from thetriggeredhappy because OOOH MY GOD its not just the characters and story i find interesting its the WRITING like its . THERES A LOT!!! THERES LIKE AT LEAST 35 CHAPTERS IN TOTAL. NO THERES TOTALLY WAY MORE THAN THAT IN TOTAL. with all of the fanfics smooshed together though. not just one. all of them. theres like 4 but one of them is about spy which im not too interested in but its still interesting. why are all of the tf2 fanfics i read so GOOD RIPS MY HAIR OUT AND SCREAMS. theres this one texas toast (idk if its actually a ship but its about the two of them) fanfic i read that im still frothing over i need to reread it because the story is SO FUCKING GOOD and the headcanons are SO FUCKING GOOD AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH let me look for it and see if i can link it. its this and it is SO GOOD i hope it gets updated again because i am like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH about it i am so AHHHHHHHHHHH about these tf2 fanfics it is free brainrot content and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

here is an image of sniper. oh yeah ive actually started sorta maining sniper recently let me get my hours on the game really quick...

i started maining pyro and then i kinda went "hey sniper is loads a fun in casual" so i started playing sniper a lot and now im kinda just vibing with it. medic too but thats because i just. enjoy being a support class?? idk. anyway. a lot of my time is on mvm and i dont know if you can check how long youve played on mvm or not ill look eventually but i dont feel like it right now. anyway im going to stop typing before my fingers start hurting and before my brain runs out of things to ramble about. goodbye

[lillotus17]

NCT MARVEL AU

okay so like a couple months ago I posted that I really wanted to write an NCT MARVEL AU FF... I might have deleted it I honestly cant remember I also added other SM ARTIST as side/extra/antagonist characters in the plot and right now im currently debating if i wanna find more Marvel characters that I think fit Shohei, Eunseok, and Seunghan.. idk lmk. im still working on the first few chapters and the moodboards of all the characters but it's going to take a while and i've been working very slowly since i am currently in school and have a part time job because in this economy... oof a girl's really struggling. anyways here is a small draft (with no mood board sorry im still woking on it :( ) of which MARVEL Characters the NCT members are going to be portraying

Playlist: Villian by Key ft. JENO | Hero by Martin Garrix and JVKE | Wish you were here by SUPERM | more to be added!

Lee Taeyong as Captain Marvel (Carol Danvers)

okay so i actually considered Iron Man, Falcon, Captain America, and gamora in mind for Taeyong but Iron Man matched johnny a bit more because of his personality and jaehyun suited captain america more imo

taeyong still fits a character with a strong leadership role, cus i mean cmon NCT tired dad/leader-nim

Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel is just tryna fit in and find herself/remember who she is and she finds out that she's a super powerfull highkey baddie and HELLO? Taeyong is that

she has a strong and emotional sense of leadership, willingness to help and protect others and like come on is that not tayeong???

she's (one of) the first avengers and asdfghjkl;

so yeah

carol danvers is a baddie

taeyong is a baddie

pErIoDt

Moon Taeil as Moon Knight (Marc Spector)

okay so like

this kinda just clicked? lmaoo i feel bad- well more like a geek but like MOON Taeil and MOONknight

i finished watching the MoonKnight series on Disney+ a while ago and loikeeee

Marc Spector is a hot SOB

steven grant asdfghjkl; dont get me started

oki tho im like lowkey debating if I want to include Marc's multiple personality but like he's not Moonknight with out steven soooo

might add a little twist to it

but Taeil gives me more Steven Grant vibes than Marc Spector ngl

he's a lil nervous anxious dork yknow?

did consider falcon and war machine for taeil though..

like tony and rhode's relatinship screams johnny and taeil LMFAOO

idk might make some changes...

Seo Youngho/Johnny Suh as Iron Man (Tony Stark)

cocky lil shit and a sexy ass mf

like tell me it doesn't make sense?

homie just wants to spend money and build suits

smart, hot, and rich? yes please

his wit and smart mouth

like imagine johnny "Jae (Cap) you've got a potty mouth"

tony has a heart(?)- there's proof LMFAOO

his sense of humor just screams johnny

had star lord (peter quill) in mind for him too

Nakamoto Yuta as Winter Soldier (James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes)

one intimidating bitch

but a highkey softie

gonna kick ur ass if u fuck with him or anyone he cares about

highkey mysterious

did consider hawkeye, war machine, and falcon for him tho

also considering changes in characters lmk what yall think too!

Qian Kun as Dr. Strange (Stephen Strange)

man can fly a plane

lmaoo sorry that literally has nothing to do with him being a doctor but tell me why in every goddamn MAFIA AU i read, he's the medic

his relationship with yangyang and ten remind me of dr. strange and wong lmfaoooo

lowkey a perfectionist/perfect man asdfghjkl

Kim Dongyoung/Doyoung as Dare Devil (Matt Murdock)

had hawkeye, war machine, and falcon in mind for him

war machine cause of his sense of duty and seriousness- and his relationship with johnny also reminds me of tony and rhodes

also thought about making him nebula (and falcon) cus of his relationship with taeyong

anyways matt murdock is a hot mf

a lawyer? yes please

doyoung likes to argue cus cmon 127 is always on his ass for no reason headahhh lmfaooo

ngl thought there were a lot a members and i did put some thought into this and he matched daredevil best imo

Li Yongqin/Ten as Black Widow (Natasha Romanoff)

bad bitch right here

assassin, bad bitch

have you seen the way he moves?

have you seen the way she moves?

no words, no explanation, it just is and it just makes sense

like fr let's argue

IM JP don't come at me

had hawkeye in mind for him too

Jung Yoonoh/Jaehyun as Captain America (Steve Rogers)

america's ass

like cmon manz representative emoji is a peach

can't really put my finger on it either

like maybe it the masculinity (not meant negatively tho!) and altruism in the both of them(?)

both hot as fuck for no reason

other characters that i think suited him were falcon, winter soldier, (kind of) hawkeye, and black panther

Dong Sicheng/Winwin as Hawkeye (Clint Barton)

oki so i did have black widow in mind for him

and if im being honest it was kind of hard to settle with hawkeye for him

winwin is someone is focused and serious much like clint barton

i mean cmon man was a dancer and that shit takes dedication and patience

like learning how to use a bow and arrow

also had vision in mind for him too

when i first started to get into NCT winwin kind of came off as a timid person, and he's not really affectionate so it kind of screamed vision vibes

Kim Jungwoo as Quick Silver (Pietro Maximoff)

his cute lil personality

"bet you didn't see that coming?" ackkkk

is a caring sweetheart

like pietro wants nothing but for his sister to be happy and protected

jungwoo makes his members happy

Wong Yukhei/Lucas as Thor

okay so like NCT 2018 Halloween special kind of took over

personality wise, lucas and thor are kind similar(?)

like their sense of humor

thor is lowkey the most laid back avenger despite being a prince

and most of the time i can't take lucas seriously

also another character i was kinda of iffy unsure about

idk maybe its just me but lucas seems like the type that would shy away from responsibilities and his asgard duties as king for something more chill

then again thor did do that soooo...

Lee Minhyung/Mark Lee as Spider-Man (Peter Parker)

do i even need to explain?

lmaoo oki so like i was reading a post about how some people don't like mark

which i lowkey found hard to believe but then it made sense

like no disrespect

anyways I do believe mark is a hard working person and he does try to be humble about it but like also its okay to bathe in the glory and be shameless- then again easier said than done, again no disrespect- i love mork

pure hearted and true to himself

much like peter parker

Xiao Dejun/Xiaojun as Shang Chi (Shaun)

lmaoo man is 1/3 of wayv's walking meme group

every time im on tiktok lmfaoooo

lmao i guess the way i picked theses characters to match the members is based on the relationship the members have soo

lmaoo shaun's relationship with katie reminds me of luxiaodery (is that the correct name for them?... wayv 99 liners)

again hot asf

like imagine xiaojun in the bus fighting scene

Wong Kunhang/Hendery as Ant Man (Scott Lang)

also 1/3 of wayv's walking meme group

man is fxcking hilarious

another "do i even need to explain?"

just makes sense

lmaooo well actually i did consider Star Lord for him

Huang Renjun as Yelena Belova

okay so hear me out

i though of gamora or nebula for him too

lmao he's a tiny lil agressive man

ready to bite at any moment

very deadly

snarky (<< affectionate) and witty like Yelena

"i don't get my period dip shit. i don't have a uterus" *said with a russian (chinese) accent and the fact the renjun doesn't have a uterus*

like that line screams renjun lmfao

Lee Jeno as Black Panther (T'Challa)

RIP to Chadwick Boseman

anyways

when mark graduated from dream *sad noises*

jeno gave me hard leadership vibes

like he filled the role so well without actually filling it

and i've noticed how popular he's become lately with all these stage collabs with other idols

prince king jeno

nice ring to it ;)

sense of what is feels right and does what he believes is right

wants to do well for himself and his members

did consider him for hawkeye and falcon

Lee Donhyuck/Haechan as Scarlet Witch (Wanda Maximoff)

sassy lil birchhh

haechan is a very caring person and althoug sometimes it seems like he's acting a certain way to hide his feelings i do believe he is very emotionally inteliegent- however he is kind of impulsive (emotionally)

reminds me of wanda

powerful bitch, like hello vocals?

fight with so much effort and purpose

needs support and is his members number one supporter

Na Jaemin as Falcon (Sam Wilson)

oki so like

this was also a toughy

consider hawkeye, black panther, winter soldier, dare devil, war machine, and a bunch of other... also docor strange cus mans wanted to be a surgeon if he wasn't an idol lmaooo

but tbh no characters really ever stuck with me for jaemin

he's lowkey someone is doesn't gaf and doesn't want to be here but still knows how to have a good time or make up for time

serious and yet isn't

loyal and supportive to his members

Liu YangYang as Kate Bishop

lmaoo renyang and kate and yelena vibes

like "bro what if i killed you, (renjun/yelena)?"

but like he didn't soo???

lmaooo curious and nosy

liek sticks his nose into everyone's business

whether its for funsies or a mission

but he does well in getting whatever information he needs

gave me loki vibes tho

Osaki Shotaro as Vision

he's so cute ackkk

kind of came off as an awkward lil bean to be but i think that was just because of the language barrier with the other members

but it also a reason why i thought he was a good fit to portray vision

cus they're bother still learning

not afraid to ask questions

supportive and kind of goes along with things

a bit naive and questions his morals or rights and wrongs

fast learner imo

Jung Sungchan as War Machine (James Rhodes)

okai so like

idky but i though he would have been a good match for star lord

kind still iffy ish because is he young and although this is a ff i fell like he would have matched a younger role/character

also thought he would have been a good fit for shuri

can't really say much

i feel bad cus this is a bit more of a last pick

i really did want him to have a character that was more interactive with shotaro since that are really close

also thought of a cloak and dagger duo for sungtaro

again might make dome changes so lmk yall's opinion

like im tryna take this seriously and make it make sense but also im not cus again this is for funsies

Zhong Chenle as Loki

again, im sorry but another "do i even need to explain?"

boy is hella mischievous with that lil smirk he always has

when he messes around with his members, esp jisung

lmao poor jisung

like "oh yall need an illusionist you say? no problem lessgo fuck around with some bad guys"

i know he's supposed to be a lowkey two-faced, flippity floppity bad guy but idc im making him good

cus deep down loki does have a good heart

Park Jisung as Shuri

hear me out

i know he doesn't seem like the brightest but like he really is

and i know yall agree because hacker!jisung?

yeah, that's what i thought bro

considered vison for him too

and kate bishop

and groot- well like a modified hybrid version of him

big brother jeno and little brother jisung duo

yeah

just yeah

periodt

Shohei, Eunseok, and Seunghan

okay so like

im not really sure what marvel characters suit them best

im tryna stray from X-men charcters

but idk might have to make some changes

js that haechan might justbe switched to deadpool cus cmon

and as i was writing this i had a bunch of second thoughts about with members were portraying which characters

im a bit of a perfectionist as you can see

Anyways! thanks for reading this and please feedback is and will always be appreciated! again i apologized for my pace! i am currently on winter break but im working so i haven't had much time to write anything :(.

anyways comment and reblog if you wanna see what i have in mind for other SM Artist and who they'll be portraying!

-lotus

[priceofsilence]

do you have any game recs btw 👀 i feel like you generally have good taste and im looking for a next game to play. as you know i rly like lobcorp and disco elysium but tbh id be open to just about anything; i just beat outer wilds and thought that was p good

sorry for the wait I saw this just before work kajsndkjas. I tried to categorize them in some way. Also some of these I dont know/remember if you have played already or not sooo.

SO I HAD A WHOLE LONG ASS POST WITH IMAGES AND EVERYTHING IT WAS SOOO GOOD AND SHIT AND THEN IT ALL GOT DELETED???? ANYWAY i will make it short... er. I'm,,, im tired

games where you manage things (?):

Dwarf fortress (colony simulator): complicated, might have to look up things like, 'how to make a well without flooding your entire fort?' or 'how to make cheese?'. I love this game and my idiot dwarfs

Beholder (bitch ass simulator): got this one for less that a dolar on a sale lol. you are a landlord (cringe) who lives in a shit 1984 nation. Since you are already a bastard the pigs tell you to spy on your tenants. You make desisions, you tell people to fuck off, you can help other people escape the country, or try to escape with your family yourself, or try to make some change on this shit world. Extremely stressful, but good overall.

games where you read a lot:

Your Turn to Die (good death game simulator): Ever wondered what would Danganronpa be like if it was good? If it didnt suck ass? If the characters were not like that? Well here comes yttd with the steel chair and free of charge. dont read the manga tho, it doesn't exist.

games that i like but dont go in either category:

Rain World (little creachur simulator): 2D survivor with a really good art style and lore that still has me on a grip. The AI on these beasts is fascinating and the world feels so fucking alive and you are just another animal trying to survive. It's one of those "unfair" games where they just tell you the basics and after that you are left to your devices. This might be one of my favorite games ever, but I'm insane so maybe dont listen to me.

Katana Zero (PTSD simulator): fast-paced action platformer. The story is really good, the art style is also really good, the soundtrack is also also really good, i dont know what else to say. It's peak 👍

im tired these are others i really like and i dont want to make this be much longer:

Hollow Knight (metroidvania)

Cat in the Box (RPG maker horror)

Hyper light drifter (action RPG??)

[kaleidosouls]

hi. (pulls out uke)

IM JOKING but i havent posted here in forever huh, are ppl still around? i guess ill comment on like, whats been going in in the time i havent posted

so a long time ago now i wanted to like, cut off from twitter, so i deleted the kaleidosouls twitter, and wanted to keep my art stuff just on insta mostly, trying to move since twitter is a sinking ship right. then my instagram got deleted for no reason (and so did my pinterest that was ful of refs and honestly that was more upseting than insta getting deletedand losing all my art following)

ive been mildly caught up in IRL/college stuff in the meantime,having da depression, and the exec dysfunction same as awlays like. not much has actually been happening but ive been going acutally all over the place trying to figure out what im gonna do with my internet social media stuff. im looking into internships (other field) and im like, i havent given up being an artist professionally exactly but i think im like fuck it. fuck this like, building my Internet career or whatever. like, im gona wokr on my art portfolio and try to find art job stuf thats not really about how popular my art is on twitter or smth. none of that shit rly matters anymoer. same w here, i probably wouldve delted this tumblr if it wasnt the main like, blog so all my other blogs dpened on this one right.

im not like, done posting art online but ive been changing how im going about it and i still havent found my like, place yet. i did remake instagram, a main one and one for creature/pokemon stuff. idk im figuring out my life but i guess the main point is that its all a mess, and its not a disaster like things are going bad or anythin just that ive been in this inertia of disorder for a long time. im getting old. really tired lately, barely draw that much

i still rly love and am holding onto my personal ideas/projects that i want to execute oveer time altho they cant be a priority rn becuase of stuff in life. i got a really bad attention span so ill probably like, work on smth a lot for a few ays and then pick it up again in a year or more. the SU stuff is one of those. i actually ammaking this post bc i got really fucking dickhead comments and i was thinking of going off but my social media paranoia PR brain is like weighting on how i cant do that bc itll make my brand look bad and immature, and its like exhausting to live like that yk. altho it Is wise to restrain myself from being mean dsgkj but i also think itd be funny to cuss ppl off so :( life is very hard as an adult!

anyway point is. thigns are a mess rn and they will continue to be for the time being. my accoutns got obliterated so if you wanna keep up with me maybe follow my instagram if you want, i keep forgetting tumblr exists so tahst why i post so little on here. i do like postingt here though, nad i like making little blogs. i like ppls tags on ym art and replies. even the pricky ones like, i get to engage my brain a litlte bit adn its like ppl are out there yk? seieng my stuff, rather than just like, a bunch of numbers of how many likes or reblogs smth has.

most of the stuff left on this blog is for SU reclaimed and i still rly like the idea and its good coping for me and i want to pick it up sometimes but idk what to do with it wrt how i wanna present the content. ive considerd many times making a separate tumblr for it and i am considering that Again but maybe i should just quit it and post it here and forget about that. and find a different way to present the totality of the contents of the AU and use this tumblr as a way to just post it like, a 'devblog' (i am not developing SHIT this is just conceptual design writing stuff)

if theres anyone still following thats like engaged/interested in SU reclaimed feel free to comment with your thoughts or suggestions,i guess i could make an instagram for it? but ehh... idt thats how i wanna like, execute it. welp. i guess if i do make smth ill post about it here,i guess the point is that maybe i can try to post on here moreoften, idk, like i want my instagrams to be more tidy and like, impersonal. i deleted twitter bc i dont want to engage that personalyl at ALL anymore as an artist w viewers. not to mention it sinking. but i guess tumblr Is the perfect place to keep that unprofessional, slightly casual blogging artist experience. maybe if i get to cuss ppl out :D but then i dont wanna get harassed later over it. hm.. sucks to exist online tbh

thank u if youve read this far. if youre a mutual (somehow) or a long time follower and wanna know how to better keep up w me since i know im disappearing a lot feel free to dm

[mildew-spirits]

TW: PROGRAMMING(?) RAMCOA, SELF DOUBT

As stated before in our first post, read with caution. I can not say if it is or isn't programming but incase it is triggering still in anyway please take care of yourself.

Ever since I made the first post I feel so disconnected. I can't sleep. I'm scared to sleep. Why? I dont know. I keep checking the post every 5 minutes and really want to delete it. I stare at it and reread it and I just think I'm fucking going insane. I hate when we can't remember or recall things. I keep hearing him say "God loves you" FUCK YOU. I can't even remember the location all we remember is that voice saying that. That's all. I'm so convinced it's fake. But it keeps playing. When we first heard it we repeated it over and over. I hate myself for doing that. There's this one alter who has been fronting more, who seems like she knows more then she's letting on but I don't fucking know. She's apart of the new area we discovered along with the two number names and the one alter who did the countdown. I'm just waiting for someone to come along and say I'm faking it, that I'm just letting our paranoid delusions get the best of us. This feels so much different and I hate it. We've been more jumpy, getting less sleep, and feeling more sick. I want to do more research but everytime we try to we either forget what we were doing, dissociate to hell and back, rapid switch, or get distracted. There's no way right... our ex friend, looking back at it now showed signs of programming too... I'm digging too deep aren't I? I feel absurd. I feel like im digging for answers so far down that there's no way. But it won't stop. Looking back at how our system works is weird too... we didn't have traditional roles and it almost felt like parts were missing. Our system is so divided into layers, subsystems, layers in layers and we hardly get to interact with each other. It's hard. And it almost felt like there were some parts who didn't want us to interact. That's so weird. I don't-. Our system felt too perfect. And not perfect as in "oh we had no issues". I mean perfect as in it seemed like every layer and space was made to be that way. It was created specifically for them. Our system has gone through many shut downs, where instead of dealing with something, it'll start over, new people, new areas, more newly complicated areas. But still organized. Still feeling like everything was carefully made there. I can't sleep. I'm not tired. I'm scared. I'm terrified. I'm ashamed. I want someone to tell me I'm delusional because I think that's better then facing the possibility that this happened to us. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want someone to tell me I'm making this up, I want them to tell me that I should stop digging when there's nothing. But I don't want that. This feeling won't stop. It won't. Things are flashing in our head that feel familiar that we are only just now seeing. We had came to the suspicion a while back that we did have trauma we had not yet covered. Please not this. God I don't want it to be this. I feel dirty. There are people out there who actually went through this shit meanwhile I'm here panicking on what ifs. I'm shit scared. I really am.

[deathsprofit]

@ ky why you unfollowed?

[*] please remember you can still send asks if you wish even if we are not mutuals as long as you're not minor not racist not pedo in both ooc & ic.

i don't have to explain to each one why I unfollowed but here's a list of possible reasons you pick what makes you happy:

[x] i changed my rules. i used to be fine when people tag some gross content but not anymore. due bad experience with some i'll just respectfully soft block so we both unfollow each other. if you still wanna follow my blog feel free it's just some content i'd like not to see on my dash n im tired following up with each blog gross list tags.

[x] i hate any type of including a minor/teen in a sexual content.. even if they are not in a sexual content i fukin' hate teen muses anyway. call me a hater i just don't wanna see them.

[x] im strongly against people writing characters that are racist pedophiles homophobes etc etc.. your character being a survivor of such stuff in their back story is fine.. but your character committing such shit in rp is nope for me.

[x] I lose interest in our interactions. When people lose interest to write with me I rather they unfollow me than force themselves to write with me just because we're old mutual. so when I feel that you or me lose the interest to interact i'll just respectfully unfollow or block/unblock. it's not your job to entertain me and it's not my job to entertain you so if one of us is not having fun it's not worth it.

[x] your replies are weird to me. honestly my writing is so simple it's even trash but at least i try to make my character's actions /words clear for you to interact with them. some people's replies are so unrelated to what my muse said or did like as if they're answering another thread. im not saying im a good writer nope the opposite i just don't understand your writing sometimes and i'll save us both the awkwardness if that is repeated in few threads i'll just unfollow.

[x] you don't give me much to work with. rp is like catch ball. you have to throw and receive. I cant keep throwing the ball at you every time and your character is too passive in their response. so unless it's an ending of a thread your character gotta do /say something for my character to react otherwise your character can stay in their own world and i'll unfollow lol.

[x] ooc drama/ demanding replies / crossing ooc boundaries / talkin' shit about another mun i rp with.. etc im not a good person im trash in both person and in my writing. i enjoy writing though and i wanna be respectful and chill with people but some people are not chill.. i wont keep up with that. I'll unfollow if I feel uncomfortable with you. (people who are allowed to personally harass me are tala and sila lolol) anyone else you have to respect some boundaries with me.

[x] Thoughts about quitting rp. instead of deleting the blog i decided to keep it for the sake of the very few people who i love writing with. but will keep inbox open for non-mutual asks if they want to.

that being said I hope you find your reasons within the list if you been so obsessed of knowing why. again i aint a good person im trash but i try to have fun.

After this post im starting a new page and leaving this topic behind me. don't come ask me again about it i wont hesitate to block.

please keep eye on my rules before interacting.

with all love and respect ky