#anyways the show is super fun and i’m enjoying myself immensely

[gregmarriage]

started righteous gemstones recently and i’ve had “where’s your boyfriend? queef?” in my head for DAYS

[powdermelonkeg]

I’ve noticed that a lot of people have some problems with the Totk narrative and was wondering what you thought about it! I’m personally pretty neutral but I can see why people don’t like it. Have a wonderful day!

Okay so controversial opinion here from me:

TotK > BotW

WITH A CAVEAT

I enjoy games IMMENSELY more when I'm not spoiled on them. Skyrim mesmerized me because I flat out was not expecting an actual execution in the first five minutes. I love exploring things for myself.

I went into TotK with ZERO proper spoilers, on purpose. All I had was my own speculation from my trailer breakdowns, and the barest glimpse of Sonia from a leak. The world fascinated me. The physics engine was insanely fun to play with. I got super excited with the return of caves and dozens of collectables. I loved discovering new recipes. I LIVED in the Depths. And the slow horror of figuring out what exactly Zelda did to herself—I saw Tear 3, felt a sinking feeling of dread, rushed into the Depths of the castle to break down that last mural, then panicked as I raced around Hyrule trying to get the rest of the memories. I got the final memory, and I stood on top of Zelda's head for half an hour in shock.

BotW, on the other hand, I spoiled myself on, and was let down by in terms of what I expected out of it. I think the story would have captivated me had I stayed off of Youtube and actually bought the game (was broke at the time, didn't get it until 2019) and experienced it as intended. But I KNEW all the cutscenes, so I didn't have a drive to chase them. Which left the mechanics of the game on their own for me to get used to; I liked cooking, I loved getting a house. I hated how few enemy types there were, I missed my pieces of heart and secret caves and collectables. It's a secret to everybody? Wrong. 85000 shrines.

I started Zelda with Twilight Princess. That's been the bar for me since the beginning. If lighting two unlit torches doesn't give me a secret chest, or beating a challenging minigame doesn't give me a better quiver, it doesn't feel like Zelda to me.

Everything in BotW felt samey because I'd taken the narrative out of its natural habitat and experienced it as a movie rather than as a game, and the most variation enemies really had was a color or elemental difference. No Redeads in the desert, no Toadpoli in the lake, no Freezards in the ice. Also the bosses had no individuality.

Now, I 100% understand why people who love BotW don't love TotK. A lot of what was set up in BotW was undercut in favor of telling the story of Ocarina of Time again. There's no moving past the cycle like BotW implied there would be, and the refusal of the devs to so much as show the ruins of the last game's pivotal pieces feels like they didn't want to commit to anything. It's like if Four Swords and Four Swords Adventures were said to be direct sequels; they've got the same flavor, the same mechanics, but why does NOTHING have continuity?

(I've kind of microdosed on this frustration myself in regards to the timeline; all that effort to say BotW was at the end of all three timelines and do away with the mess they released in Hyrule Historia, and they add Zonai tech in on top of the Sheikah tech with no continuity??? Rauru and Sonia vs Skyward Zel??? Rito existed at the dawn of time. What)

As a continuation of BotW's narrative, it fails. Not egregiously enough for fans to be able to disconnect them and call them their own stories, but badly enough that the overall story feels like it was meant to be two, not one. That's a frustrating point to be in; too much is intertwined between them to break them off and create for them separately, but it's also not intertwined enough that you can't see that it's fraying at the edges.

Anyways...

I liked it. A lot. I think the whole dragon plotline and worldbuilding is fascinating. I have my gripes with dialogue, as one always does with Nintendo games, but you know.

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

Request (from this post):

@scarlet-gryphon suggested: Modern pre-3zun AU where for whatever reason, Meng Yao is challenged to do a tough rock climbing wall. Cue the italicized ‘ohs’ from Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue at his flexibility. (also posted to Ao3)

This kind of thing is very much outside of my usual wheelhouse of ideas so thank you so much for the challenge, it was super refreshing! Hope you like it ^_^

--

Fucking work retreats.

“ ‘It’ll be fun’ he says,” Meng Yao grumbles to himself as he plasters an extremely fake (perhaps slightly manic) smile on his face. “ ‘Lighten up, A-Yao’ he says,” he mocks again, his grin twisting into a mocking sneer for just a split second before he smooths it away again.

The benefit of being wildly unpopular is that no one milling around stops him on his hunt to try to chat, and finally after a few minutes of prowling he finds his prey.

“Nie Huaisang,” he says icily and he has the immense pleasure of seeing the Jiang Corporation heir and his brother look sharply at him over Nie Huaisang’s shoulders in (slightly eerie) synchronicity, both of them looking sufficiently aware of whatever it is they see on his face that promises danger for Nie Huaisang. Of course it’s in their own ways, which means Jiang Wanyin glares first at him and then at Nie Huaisang, and Wei Wuxian’s usual happy grin goes a bit manic as well, eyes glittering as he scents fresh mischief.

“A-Yao, there you are!” Nie Huaisang cries far too cheerfully as he turns, his ever-present fan already fluttering nervously in front of his chest. Why he insists on carrying that thing everywhere he goes Meng Yao doesn’t understand whatsoever, but he’s currently wishing he had the guts to tug it from his hands and snap it right in half.

“Could I speak to you for a moment?”

The fluttering of his fan gets a little faster. “Ahhhh hah, but we’re about to get started!! You know how da-ge is, hit the ground running and all that. Can’t it wait?”

“No,” he says with such a poisonously sweet smile and a faux-innocent little tilt of his head that even Wei Wuxian takes a step back, the brothers leaving their best friend high and dry to face his wrath alone. Sensible of them.

He holds his arm out for Nie Huaisang to take and, with no safe alternative options, the other man reluctantly takes it and lets himself be led away from listening ears.

“Now, A-Yao -”

“When were you planning to inform me that my father’s company would also be present at this retreat?”

“Oh good, you already know! So now the answer doesn’t matter, does it?”

“I’m going to murder you in your sleep, A-Sang. I’m in charge of our company’s hotel assignments. I know exactly where to find you.”

“Aiyah you do not, who in the world stays in their own hotel room during company retreats? Well I guess some people have to, But I definitely don’t. I’ve already found myself better accommodation,” he says breezily, flicking his fan shut to tap him on the forearm a couple of times. “And you’ll lighten up a little if you do too! I heard the Lans are coming~,” he adds, his glance at him out of the corner of his eye far too sly. Meng Yao can’t quite resist glaring at him right back. Nie Huaisang just walked headfirst into dangerous territory, but part of him (a very small part of him) can admire that his sort-of-friend, sort-of-employer is daring enough to tease him when he’s clearly irritated.

“You’re horrendous,” he replies sweetly and Nie Huaisang laughs as he turns them around to head back towards where everyone else is gathered.

“Oh hush, stop glaring at me and go find Xichen-ge, stare at him until you feel better. I’ll bet he’s dressed casuallyyyy~~,” he teases as he snaps his fan open again to flutter it and add to the flirtatious lilt in his tone.

“Lan Zhan!!!!” Wei Wuxian suddenly cries loudly enough to carry over the general chatter and in the next instant he goes flying across the spacious hotel lobby, a blur of black and red as Jiang Wanyin shouts after him for him to stop. Nie Huaisang giggles at his side behind his fan as heads turn to watch Wei Wuxian’s progress to where the Lans have stopped to check in.

“Oh perfect timing, and you won’t even have to waste any time searching! Wei-xiong is so useful, don’t you think?”

Meng Yao says nothing, just glares at Nie Huaisang until the man winks over his fan and carefully extricates himself from where their arms are linked to return to Jiang Wanyin’s side to pat his shoulder as the man fumes. Meng Yao sighs and after a moment he follows in the bemused wake Wei Wuxian had left behind himself on his way to his boyfriend. Though the retreat isn’t being held on any participating company’s actual properties, the Nie Corporation is still technically hosting it so it’s not entirely out of character for him to go and greet the new arrivals.

And if Lan Xichen’s smile when their eyes meet makes his frustration with Nie Huaisang and the presence of his own family melt away like snow in spring, then that’s his own business.

----

A few days into the retreat, Nie Mingjue’s patience is at its limit. He hates these things, he can’t remember just why the hell he let Nie Huaisang talk him into hosting this bullshit, but he can’t change it now. At least the Lans agreed to come - without Lan Xichen here to force him to enjoy himself he really would have become too miserable to bother staying for the whole retreat, he would’ve already packed up and dragged Meng Yao home with him to get back to work. Not that it would take much dragging, most likely. Meng Yao is as much of a workaholic as himself, maybe even more of one (which he hadn’t thought was possible prior to meeting him), and the Jins have been extra insufferable to him on top of that. It wouldn’t surprise him at all if Meng Yao was looking for an easy out of the whole affair.

“Oh dear,” Lan Xichen says softly at his side and Nie Mingjue pulls himself out of his ruminations to glance at him and then look at where he’s focusing on only to sigh as he spots Meng Yao being harassed by his horrible cousin - again.

“How long has that spoiled brat been talking to him this time?” Nie Mingjue growls as he pushes his sleeves up to his elbows and flexes his fingers a few times. God he’d like to use that asshole’s face as a punching bag. Mostly because he feels like Meng Yao would appreciate it and Nie Mingjue is maybe slightly too interested in doing things that make Meng Yao get that pleased little smirk on his face. But in his defense it’s also because he’s seen that smirking face far too many times to not want to rearrange it a little. If it happens to be because he’s bothering Meng Yao then that’s the perfect excuse, just two birds with one stone.

“About a minute, but it seems that’s long enough to behave unpleasantly,” Lan Xichen sighs, crossing his arms over his chest in a rare show of open disapproval, his lips turned down in an uncharacteristic frown. “What could he and his friends possibly have to bother him about now?”

“Don’t know, don’t care. I’m gonna beat the shit out of him, I’m tired of this.”

“Mingjue!” Lan Xichen cautions with a sudden grip on his arm. “Please, don’t embarrass A-Yao and make a scene, it won’t help him.”

“Well what do you want me to do?! We can’t just leave him over there.”

“Ah...I believe we are not his only knights in shining armor,” Lan Xichen says, suddenly sounding amused and Nie Mingjue follows his gaze again to see Wei Wuxian, of all people, shoving his way through the crowd looking positively gleeful at the sign of trouble brewing, Lan Wangji trailing along behind him as serenely as ever. Such a weird pair, in his opinion. And of course, because it’s Wei Wuxian, his voice carries perfectly over the general hubbub of people chatting and the clink of carabiners from the people currently scaling the rock wall they’re all supposed to be taking turns climbing.

“Meng Yao!” Wei Wuxian cries and Nie Mingjue can see the man in question’s shoulders tighten all the way from here as Wei Wuxian throws his arm around them to lounge against him. “Are you holding back to spare the rest of us from having to watch you kick our asses without breaking a sweat? Oh. Hey asswipe.”

“Wei Wuxian!”

Nie Mingjue snickers just a little at the scandalized tone in Jin Zixun’s voice, and even Lan Xichen chuckles softly next to him.

“Yeah? Hi uh...hm. Can’t say I remember your name, Jin something-or-other, right? No, don’t tell me, it doesn’t matter and I want to keep thinking your name is ‘Asswipe’.”

“What the fuck is your problem?!”

“Problem? I don’t have one. What’s yours?”

Lan Wangji says something then, far too low to carry the way Wei Wuxian and Jin Zixun’s voices do, but whatever it is makes Wei Wuxian laugh and turn to Meng Yao. He lets go of him to turn and face Meng Yao fully, putting his back to Jin Zixun, but whatever he says next is lost in the noise of someone reaching the top of the wall and hitting the buzzer. 

“Are you sure we should trust whatever Wei Wuxian just did to solve this?” Nie Mingjue grumbles, already knowing what his best friend’s answer will be.

“He’s a good man,” Lan Xichen replies, because of course he does. “I trust him wholeheartedly, and it’s a good solution don’t you think? Everyone expects him to make a scene anyway, A-Yao need not be embarrassed about being rescued if it’s him.”

“Are we sure he even fixed whatever’s going on?” Nie Mingjue watches Meng Yao square his shoulders and step up to take a spot next to one of the employees at the rock wall and he can’t help but frown, still concerned. “A-Yao didn’t want to participate.”

But then he’s quickly strapped into a harness around his hips and thighs and maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just….watch...for a second...

Lan Xichen’s slightly choked noise at his side is all the confirmation he needs that they’re in agreement. 

Nie Mingjue tears his eyes away from Meng Yao just long enough to see that he’s lined up with the rest of the Jin employees that are in attendance and he blinks as he realizes what’s going on.

“This is Wei Wuxian’s solution?” he snaps. “To put A-Yao up against his stupid cousin and his cronies? He’s supposed to get A-Yao away from them!”

“Patience, Mingjue, trust Wei Wuxian’s methods, he knows what he’s doing,” Lan Xichen soothes, returning his hand to his arm though he still hasn’t looked away from Meng Yao as the man listens to the instructions and allows himself to be fitted with a rope attached to the front of the harness.

“You just like seeing A-Yao tied up.”

“Mm. Multiple things can be true at once.” 

Nie Mingjue snorts at that but shakes his head in defeat and goes back to watching, staying still as Lan Xichen subtly steps closer to him and tucks his hand into the crook of his elbow as the start timer counts down from five.

Whatever Nie Mingjue was expecting before the competition started, it certainly wasn’t what ends up happening as soon as the buzzer sounds.

His eyes go wide as he watches Meng Yao instantly take the lead by putting his foot above his head and launching himself a full body-length up the wall while everyone else is still trying to find their first handhold.

“Oh my god,” Lan Xichen breathes at his side and Nie Mingjue is in full agreement. Meng Yao practically flies up the wall, taking the lead by miles simply by virtue of skipping over at least five footholds at a time to get to the highest one he can reach - which is never lower than rib- or shoulder-height.

Nie Mingjue has never seen anything like it and he can’t take his eyes off him. He doesn’t even hesitate, he just makes these impossible jumps and pulls until he smacks the buzzer at the top and turns to sit on the top of the wall, feet dangling and the dimples in his cheeks visible even from this distance as he grins down at the others still halfway down the rest of the wall.

“Oh shit,” it’s Nie Mingjue’s turn to exclaim as Meng Yao wiggles his fingers in a little wave while Jin Zixun slips and falls a few feet before tension gets applied to his rope, leaving him dangling in front of the hardest course on the wall like a sack of turnips.

“That was..oh my.”

“Uh-huh.”

“So flexible,” Nie Huaisang pipes up suddenly from his other side and Nie Mingjue doesn’t yelp but he comes close.

“Huaisang!!”

“Hi da-ge, er-ge. Enjoying the view? It’s very scenic.”

“Don’t be crude, A-Sang,” Lan Xichen chastises without any heat and Nie Huaisang snorts.

“I’m not the one checking out Meng Yao’s ass like a couple of creeps. He’ll want a drink this evening, by the way - he hates dealing with his family.” Nie Huaisang leans forward to look up pointedly first at him and then at Lan Xichen next to him. “Maybe even two drinks.”

“I can feel you winking at me, A-Sang,” Lan Xichen says with a smirk without taking his eyes off Meng Yao and Nie Huaisang laughs behind his fan. 

“Good, then we’re on the same page! Does this mean I should tell Wei-xiong not to talk him into going up there again or do you need more convincing?”

Nie Mingjue coughs at that and does his best to glare. “No one said he has to stop. If he wants to go again to prove his point to that smarmy jackass cousin of his then who are we to stop him?”

“Subtle, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang drawls. He stretches his arms above his head with a little sigh before he steps away to look at them over his shoulder with a sly wink. “As many times as he’s willing to go, then? Noted, I’ll let Wei-xiong know right away,” he teases and then he’s off with a laugh.

“Well. That was..”

“We’re definitely buying him drinks tonight, right?” Nie Mingjue checks and Lan Xichen’s responding hum is perfectly easy to interpret as they watch Meng Yao rappel down the wall and set up to go again. “Good.”

[tsugarubecker]

Your answer helped me out immensely, so thank you so much! (Also I'm still laughing at "mike has a rock for a brain" cos it's kinda true lol). Also I really liked (and agree with) how you think that, even tho mike and el may not be IN love, they do love and care about each other a lot. I feel like not a lot of shippers think about mike can feel love for both El and will (even if it is different kinds of love). ANYWAY, I loved your answer, it was super informational.

Ohhh my god, tumblr is really being goofy with this whole "im not gonna show you your asks unless you're on desktop" thing. Now I get what you meant when you said you blew up my inbox lol. You still haven't! On the contrary, it makes me so happy to be sent asks. Thank you ;w; Thank you so much for this lovely follow-up message! I'm so glad my thoughts could be helpful, and honestly thank you for reading! That answer really got away from me lol, but I think I got a chance to clarify some thoughts for myself for the first time, too. Hadn't ever put some of those ideas into words before. So thank you for the chance to do that. He DOES have a rock for a brain sometimes doesn't he? lmaoooo. But even with his rock between his ears, I completely agree with you: that dunce loves the life out of both El and Will. He would literally lay down his life for either of them (that's a self-esteem problem he needs to address but that's another story lmao). Now that we're talking, though, about how Mike loves both El and Will very much, I'm remembering a key point that I failed to address in my post, which is this: El and Will definitely seem to be spiritually connected somehow. It's unclear to me how yet, but I have read Kaypeace21's DID theory with interest. Strangertheory also has some great posts about how Will and El seem to be connected. If I find a post that I think you might enjoy from either of them talking about the ways those two are connected, I'll send it your way! At the end of the day, as much as people are really hyped to support their own ships, the fact is that Mike has deeeeeeep connections with both Will and El, and it is pretty damn likely that El and Will are connected to each other. Mike loving them both might not be as contradictory as some shippers think it is. Which is an exciting thought for multi-shippers, people who love El, people who love Will, and poly people/people who like the idea of poly ships. Ty again for your fantastic ask, it was so fun and fulfilling to answer it <333

[falloutboywife]

i want to start this off by saying i am infintitely grateful for all the support i've gotten while i was away, and i cannot express enough how much it means to me to know i have so much support during such a frustrating part of my life, even if i'm only showing you guys one part of it. i cannot tell you enough how thankful i am, and i'm going to respond to as many messages as i can tomorrow because this has taken a lot of time and energy for me to write and piece together emotionally

i definitely think the other week when i made that lengthy post about my identity and my place in online spaces may have been a bit of an overreaction, however while i've had some time to think about it on my own i think that just avoiding tumblr outright is causing me to become pretty insular in how i'm perceiving the entire situation, which isn't made any easier for me considering when i ask my friends who've been seeing it unfold what their opinions on it are, their responses have been pretty mixed.

as a whole, i think that being in online fandoms, as an outspoken artist (outspoken in this sense meaning redacted and fat kid fuckery, both shameful and heretical topics few dare to mention), tends to inflate my ego in a way i don't really find desirable. meaning people who are super kind and friendly towards me and who give me a lot of positive attention, while reassuring and definitely welcomed, tends to lean into people admiring me for reasons i don't really understand, and this can also end up trapping me into a certain role to fulfill in a community because of the kind of attention i tend to reward and validate, i.e. fat kid fuckery in my dms, which leads to the expectation of me being this sort of bastion of hornyposting where all evil (affectionate) thoughts are encouraged and endorsed.

on the other end of the spectrum, and if you know what i'm talking about then you know, i tend to attract a lot of negativity from people i've never interacted with or had any intention of interacting with, and this has been an issue for me pretty much the entire time i've used social media (me adding hornyposting as a facet to my personality is really recent, like i only started doing this late 2017 and i'm really tired of it by now but. again. it's what people expect of me, more on that later), and i'm not entirely sure how to make it stop. granted, when i was a lot younger, i was genuinely an asshole, but i want to stress a very important thing i think very few of my followers on here are aware of

i'm 28 and only just now aware of the fact that i'm autistic, and i was misdiagnosed with bipolar when i was 13 and because none of the treatment or therapy worked, i always thought there was something really wrong with me, so i couldn't actually learn how to cope with a lot of my problems in a productive way until recently. so yeah, i was a jackass when i was younger, and i can be a jackass in private sometimes when i'm under a lot of stress, but having this realization about myself is really helping me a lot on its own

and being autistic, people can think i'm annoying or obnoxious or irritating and that, juxtaposed with content or opinions they might personally disagree with, can make people very angry just inherently. i've spoken with my friends about how i can't seem to shake off any drama that i really, really have nothing to do with or any interest in, and the only ones who could really relate were other autistic people. my own friend actually told me that she thinks this is something i'm just going to have to struggle with my entire life, because even if it's not being horny or advocating for sexual positivty, i'm ALWAYS doing something that will piss someone off

(quick disclaimer: i know some of you are probably going to try to engage in bad faith arguments with me saying that i'm calling all my haters ableist, and if anyone tries to insinuate that this is the conclusion i'm coming to, i'm not only ignoring your ask but blocking you as well. i'm also not answering any asks trying to insinuate that i "need help" simply because of the type of fiction i enjoy, when the issue was HOW i was engaging with it, which i think i have made exceedingly clear.)

i think it's funny that me clearly being into waycest and clearly being into babystump is lost on people to the point where they feel they need to make callout posts "warning" people about the fact that i'm...openly and unabashedly interested in this shit, but the very second i say "actually i'm asexual but i'm glad you guys are so sexually open about yourselves and your interests" i lost more followers than any active campaign trying to cancel me, which is exactly what i fucking mean when i say this is what people expect of me

so i can't really make anyone happy in the current environment i've curated for myself because it is expected of me to maintain this personality and continue engaging in this nature of content regardless of my own personal feelings on the matter, because if i want to break free from it then i risk pissing people off. i also can't just act how i want or make the kind of jokes that i want or enjoy the kind of things i want anyway because simply by having a mental disability that effects how i engage with people socially, i am risking ostracizing myself by pissing the wrong people off and ultimately making things a lot worse than they otherwise would be

however. However. even if this is exactly how i feel, this isn't entirely a situation that is exclusive to this current blog, and when i said in the beginning i was taking this too seriously, i still mean that, and i think that my own personal problems with being in online fandoms stem from external factors that have nothing to do with this website. i'm almost 30 and a lot of my life this past decade has been very stagnant due to severe depression, with no real progress towards furthering my life in any meaningful way, and i think that what i was really frustrated with when i made that post was this very factor. in conjunction with this, i use online spaces a way to try to find an open and accepting community of people i can befriend and be myself in, because my undiagnosed autism has historically made it difficult for me to really socialize with people in a productive way that didn't make me feel like an outcast. i think a combination of the fact that online spaces are becoming increasingly more difficult for me to adapt to, as well as incresingly unfulfilling, adding to the lack of fulfillment in the rest of my life, was the subconscious realization i came to when i decided to make that post and take a break from tumblr for a bit. i'm frustrated that i have no fulfillment in my life, and i can no longer find it in online spaces that i used to enjoy and find so much meaning in

this being said, i'm actually doing shit with my life at long last. i'm enrolled in classes for an english degree, and i'm going to subsequently get an associates in creative writing that i'll be able to complete in a single semester after the fact, leaving me with two whole degrees under my belt that i can use in developing my future in the literary world. i'm taking my art more seriously as well, although i only post my bandom and lotr drawings on here, and i'm thinking of making an instagram account to start posting my art on there as well, as a sort of portfolio. i'm sick of this ongoing feeling of there being no meaning in my life, and i'm sick of feeling like i'm just wasting away and putting my mind to no use, and the immense joy i got just from seeing my class schedule for the fall semester made me realize that i am an intellectual, i'm an academic, and i'm in love with media and literary studies and this is what i find meaning in. this shit makes me so fucking happy and when i finished the picture of dorian gray the other day i IMMEDIATELY went on a tirade about its themes and symbolism just to myself and that, alone, was so fucking rewarding. i've been watching movies with my friend sweaterangst and just describing the themes of the horror used in the fucking texas chainsaw massacre movies made me feel so fulfilled even if he might have barely been listening LMAO i find meaning in seeking out complex and thought-provoking pieces of work and i

absolutely

am not getting that being on tumblr and talking about how i'm gonna let the fat kid deepfry me at the state fair (affectionate) (delusional) (severe)

with that being said, yes, i'm still asexual and i don't get fulfillment from purely sexual discussion, but i think i'm still gonna be answering asks about the sexy stuff so long as i find it engaging to a degree. i'm gonna start trying to use the guys you say as creative writing exercises because in the beginning that's what the fucking smut started as LMAO but i lost the plot a while ago and just let myself stagnate, like i said. i'm still gonna blog about bandom stuff but now that i have no reason to treat social media like it's all i have, and now that i'm breaking out of my depressed state in more meaningful ways, i think i'm gonna start blogging about a lot more things too and try to start having fun on this site again.

five nights at fat kid's is back, baby

[taekooktimeline]

1 : I disagree with the anon who thinks tae has a hard time dealing with his sexuality and jk does not. In the earlier years, tae said very conservative things but since a long time now, he has been the loudest supporter of lgbt of the entire group, answers harshly to delulu fangirls and even implied he wanted to sing his love christmas song only with a man because he chose to not release it when a big hit producer made him sang with adora instead of jimin.

Disclaimer - please keep in mind the below is our opinion / theory on the topic at hand. The timeline is separate from asks and we strive to remain credible, and driven by facts, there. In asks we more freely theorize. Thank you!

Sara: These are my rough thoughts as of 9th of November 2020. General Disclaimer - I could easily change my mind about anything that I say that isn’t included in the actual Timeline due to the extreme level of insight or subjectiveness that asks usually require which can only be answered with opinions in development and insufficient pondering / research. Well, this turned into a discussion which is good :) I do agree that Jk also struggles with his identity and is afraid to be outed without being prepared, which is natural. This would fall in line with him saying he didn’t want “a kiss from a boy” as he panicked in his coming of age day back in 2016 when he already knew he liked Tae (the famous day joon called for tae to kiss him). Mind you, on that same trip Tae said it was weird to hold a man's hand in public when he saw JK and hobi holding hands in the streets of Europe. I don’t think Tae said that due to jealousy. I think it was his internalized homophobia speaking (meaning self-rejecting feelings that are so common within lgbtq individuals where they are affected by what society considers correct. That’s where self-hate comes from). Both Jk and Tae deal with internalized homophobia and they’ll probably deal with it their entire lives to some extent, because it doesn’t necessarily disappear in its entirety even if you come out and “accept” yourself, especially if you live in a conservative environment. I can tell they’ve both come a long way though and they are much more comfortable in their own skin. It’s beautiful how Tae has embraced gay culture and clearly feels part of the lgbtq community. I think Tae seeks for belonging while Jk is much more “independent” and I personally think the idea of “a community” doesn’t resonate with him as much. I don’t know if it’s due to him being a huge introvert or what but not every non-straight person needs to be immersed in the gay scene. There was a time that Jk repeatedly mentioned Troye Sivan as his top 3 favorite singer (while he was self-discovering), recommended “memo” by years & years, etc, and we don’t know what he enjoys in his private life so...at least we know he did find solace in gay public figures during an important period of his life. I love Tae being sassy and shutting down fan’s fantasies, but Jk playing along is innocent and his way of being “friendly”. Jk is the opposite of what toxic masculinity looks like so I don’t see him going out of his way to look straight. He does whatever he wants. He uses women’s perfume, unironically fixed his long hair up into 2 cute ponytails while eating out, enjoys cosmetics and does his own makeup, owns pink items, etc. I’m just saying he doesn’t have a fragile masculinity. Saying bro is just for laughs and to sound cool and american. Him saying he didn’t think he could fall for a guy was a joke to overly compliment hobi while not outing himself. It’s not that serious. He didn’t have the need to joke about crushing on hobi, but he did so VOLUNTARILY. To me it seems like he is pretty comfortable with himself as of now, but remember they are closeted and in a delicate situation.

Kayla - hi anon! The beauty of discussions is each is entitled to their opinion. Respectful discussions are fun - thanks for being kind in your ask☺️I personally think Jk referencing “I’m still me” then taking the time to draw it in artwork speaks volumes. It was around the time Joon recommended a song from the movie and it’s a famous quote so to me, that’s not a coincidence, though you’re entitled to discard it if you wish. I also think we need to consider the context of Jk calling Tae bro - an interview in which he looked at his lips at one point, and caressed his back as he said that word. Those two were pretty affectionate through the overall interview. For some, the bro comment is proof TK aren’t together. For me, context is critical. That moment never dissuaded me on them being “real”. I know some will disagree on that so please know that’s simply my interpretation of that moment. Plus my UK friend said soon after that moment she calls her partner “bro” jokingly so I second Sara it may be as simple as that in why Jk said it. As far as the Hobi comment, I feel like that statement alone shows Jk is part of the lgbtq community. He flat out is saying he fell for a man … and I anticipate one would argue he’s joking but, for me, there’s truth in jest. He didn’t have to say that comment yet he did. I just want to leave it as I don’t agree Jk wants to come off straight at all. I mean don’t forget this is the same guy who also said grapes were more interesting than the girls at the shoot...and this was in his teenage years so🤷🏻‍♀️some may say he was just nervous around the women and that is, of course, totally okay if they interpret it that way. I just view that comment differently. And he’s wearing genderless clothes this year (2020) and changed the lyrics of “savage love” to be genderless, so he shows support, it’s just not in a bold way like Tae. He’s worn a paper clip earring and suppprted lgbtq artists so he does acknowledge the community. I think it just comes down to some people place greater weight on others knowing their identity.

I think Tae wants people to know, hence why he’s expressed loud support in various ways, whereas Jk doesn’t really feel like he needs to address it. My take is Jk genuinely just doesn’t care how people perceive him, and that’s why he isn’t as vocal as Tae, who seems to indicate he really wants people to know his identity. Jk is fortunate to have a progressive family (an example being during his vlive he said, “Anyway, my parents were like that. When I was young, no matter what I did, they let me be and do whatever I wanted to do”), he has loving and supporting members - that support system must have helped greatly as he went through his exploration and struggles. He absolutely struggled, and I agree on that, but I think it was easier for him in some ways because of his environment / support system, and who he is personality wise. Jk is a man of action, not as bothered by the opinion of others (again, we can look to his tattoos as a big indicator of this) whereas Tae seeks validation, even this year, from ARMY. Him saying during pride month, after reading the CMBYN monologue “I want to be happy too🥺” to me shows he still struggled with public perception. Personally, based on private talks I don’t want to get into too deeply in this public setting, I think Tae came more to peace with himself this year. But I do personally think Tae had a harder time coming to terms than Jk did (and has alluded as much when he’s mentioned his struggles with school and puberty, plus some of his solo work). Let me be clear, both struggled, and as Sara says both dealt with internalized homophobia, and I don’t think anyone would disagree with that, but Tae’s overall loudness, for me, shows he wants people to know. That’s why he���s loud. Jk not being loud doesn’t mean, to me, he wants to come off straight. Jk has done an amazing job over the years of smashing others’ preconceived masculinity beliefs and he does it comfortably. For me, it shows he’s just not bothered as much by public perception. He is who he is and it doesn’t matter what people see or think. I’ll agree that Tae definitely is the most vocal member, and seeing him happier and appearing at peace makes me happy, and I definitely don’t think he has any issue with people speculating. I really think it’s important to him for us to know, and i think he wants us to know. As an aside, I know I’m just a fan but I'm super happy for Tae seeming to be more accepting of himself. I know a lot of people, including myself, are touched by him, as well as the other members, for the various ways they’ve shown support to the LGBTQ community.

PS - thanks again for being respectful in initiating further discussions on this topic Anon💜sometimes checking the inbox makes me anxious so I immensely appreciate when people can hold a respectful and kind debate on various topics.

[gospelofme]

Super Nova

Chapter 2: The Offer

A year after that encounter with Master Tarrek, Sayriel would find herself on a transport leaving the atmosphere of Yavin IV, all of her possessions fit into a backpack. She didn’t have much, so it didn’t take her but minutes to pack.

A grand total of 15 years had passed since that encounter now. A 32 year old Sayriel stood under a stream of hot water, the steam of her shower fogging up the refresher. She had been too tired to shower the night before, so she made a point to get up early and wash up. Dried blood and dirt flowed off her body and swirled down the drain. She had found herself thinking back to that conversation with Master Tarrek. She still had issues with meditation, but it was most likely because she didn’t practice it much anymore. There were some thoughts she didn’t want to confront and areas of her mind that she refused to explore. She briefly wondered if she had made the right decision regarding leaving the sect on Yavin IV. They were pushing you out more and more every day. They wanted you to leave, they were practically showing you to the door. She reminded herself as she turned off the water. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her now clean body. She bent over the sink and twisted excess water out of her long, dark brown hair.

After finishing her morning routine, Sayriel got dressed and checked her datapad for any messages. She frowned when she noticed one new notification. She didn’t really feel like seeing him today, but he was often associated with credits, which she did feel like accumulating more of. She already had a job she needed to complete today, so his message would need to wait. She dressed in dark grey pants and a white shirt. She paired this with black boots that hugged her mid-calf securely. They had seen better days but they were sturdy and still did their job. The thick soles protected her from broken glass to semi-molten metals. Plus they were fun to kick people with when she needed to. She secured her blaster to the holster on her thigh and her lightsaber was securely hidden in a pocket on her pant leg. After downing some caf for breakfast, and left her small apartment. Corellia was still largely asleep, but some businesses were starting to open up. The sun was just beginning to show itself at the horizon.

She walked in the direction of the landing pads where her ship was parked and hopefully awaiting the shipment of it’s cargo. She passed a few businesses on her way, some still securely locked up and others being set up for the customers that would eventually arrive. She knew a couple of the shop owners, a few of the market vendors, and the guy who ran the shipyard she used, but that was it. She didn’t want to be too known. Besides, she didn’t know how long she’d call Corellia home. Once at the shipyard, she typed in her access code and the gate slide open slowly. She found her ship on pad D4 and sure enough there was a Twi’lek male waiting for her with a stack of crates and a service droid. Sayriel smirked, at least he was on time this morning.

“Is this my shipment of Burra fish?” She inquired once she was closer in range.

“Yup, packed with the industrial ice packs as requested.” The Twi’lek responded. “I just need you to sign for them and I’ll have my droid load them onto your ship.” The vendor gestured to her Allanar N3 freighter, The Revenge. Sayriel took the datapad he held out for her and inspected the manifest and then opened one of the crates. Sure enough the fillets lay neatly wrapped surrounded by plenty of the industrial-grade ice packs. She checked all 10 crates and was pleased with all of them. She signed for the shipment and the Twi’lek’s droid set to work loading them onto her ship.

“So where are all these crates going?” The Twi’lek asked, making small talk. Sayriel hated small talk.

“Somewhere.” She replied with a “that’s all you need to know” smile. The man took the hint and didn’t try to continue the conversation.

Once the crates were securely loaded, Sayriel settled herself into the pilot’s seat and started her ship up. Within moments she was soaring through the atmosphere of Corellia and soon after that she was out among the stars. It was her favorite place to be truthfully. After a few calculations, she jumped to hyperspace and settled in for the two hour journey. She decided to try her hand at meditation again, closing her eyes and slowing her breathing. A quick series of beeps jolted her awake, it was time to drop out of hyperspace. She must’ve fallen asleep during her attempted meditation. Honestly that wouldn’t be the first time that has happened. Nar Shaddaa loomed in her viewport and Sayr piloted her way through the atmosphere to Wormstew Town. She had always wondered how that place got its name, but felt that she didn’t want to truly know the answer.

“This is Nova, I’m in route to Wormstew with your shipment of Burra fillets.” She commed her contact’s frequency. There was a crackle of static and then a reply for her to land on platform C5. She did as instructed and disembarked once she landed. She was met by a human male and a Rodian with a datapad. The Rodian scanned the cargo once it was unloaded and gave a nod to his human counterpart

“Looks like everything is in order,” the man said, lifting the lids on each crate and inspecting the contents. He pulled out of the ice packs and held it between his hands. “The hospital will be most pleased with this generous donation from your benefactor. Now if you come with me, I’ll get your delivery fee sorted.” He added, gesturing for Sayr to follow him to a small building near the platforms. The man tossed the industrial-grade ice pack from hand to hand casually.

Upon entering the small building, which was essentially 4 walls, a ceiling, and a desk, Sayr was greeted by a female Twi’lek. She was dressed in hospital garb, but Sayr could spot the outline of a blaster under her white coat. The man handed the woman the ice pack, who then carefully opened it along one edge. She took a test strip out of her coat pocket and dipped it into the substance that was starting to soften. The test strip emerged blue and the woman smiled.

“The bacta is still viable. This will help immensely. The Hutts have cornered the market on this stuff and are charging much more than we can ever afford.” The woman explained. Sayr found it disgusting how one life form could withhold live-saving equipment or substances from another. Bacta was an essential hospital tool and to charge an insane amount of credits for it just because they can was monstrous. This shipment of about 240 total frozen Bacta packs wasn’t a lot but at least they’ll be able to have some at the hospital here and send some to the smaller clinics they were affiliated with. She felt good participating with these causes, as she felt it helped balance out the unpleasant ones that also found their way into her calendar.

The credit transfer took place and Sayr took her leave of the pair, passing by the crates on their way to the hospital. She noted a male Zabrak leaning against the edge of her ship, she knew who he was. As she got closer she could make out the stupid smile on his stupid face. She had hoped he would’ve waited for her to answer his earlier message, but no. He felt the need to follow her here instead.

“What do you want Varex?” She asked with a weary tone. The Zabrak pushed himself off the side of her ship and scrambled up onto the loading ramp to block her way. Sayr tried to side-step him and he moved to match her. She stopped and gave him a glare.

“I just want 15 minutes of your time. I have an offer that I think you’ll be interested in.” Varex said, he sounded excited but that could just be a ploy to get her to agree.

“And what if I say no?” She countered, trying to side step him. He moved to still block her.

“Then I’ll follow you until you say yes.” He replied, Sayr knew he was serious and gave a weary sigh. She didn’t have any other job lined up right now anyways. She didn’t have to say anything, the look she gave the Zabrak pirate told him she agreed.

“Great!” He jumped off the edge of the landing ramp and back onto the platform. Sayriel made sure her ship was secured tightly and followed the pirate into town.

She followed him to a cantina fittingly dubbed The Wormhole. They walked through the small crowd at the front and settled in a back booth. A waitress came over and gave them both menus and said she’d be back in a bit to take their orders. Sayr folded her arms on the table top in front of her as Varex made himself comfortable in the seat across from her.

“So, it’s been a couple months.” He noted, Sayriel smirked.

“Is this a business proposition or a catching up meeting? Because time started when we walked through that door. You have 12 minutes left.” Sayr responded, sitting back and crossing her arms across her chest. She wasn’t interested in talking about the “old days” or what she had “been up to”. The Zabrak raises his hands in mock surrender and was about to get down to business when the waitress returned. Varex ordered the house-made Ale and Sayr got herself a Sparkling Stardust. Their drinks arrived quickly and Sayr took a sip of the sweet glittery drink. Varex shook his head amusedly.

“What?” Sayriel asked with a raised eyebrow, “a woman like myself can’t enjoy a girly drink?” She added with a teasing smirk.

“It’s just odd to see a woman like you sipping a glittery drink, I’ve seen you do some very unladylike things.” Varex explained, Sayriel shrugged in acknowledgement. The Zabrak then got down to the reason why he had followed her to Nar Shaddaa.

“A collector on Coruscant contacted me with a very intriguing job opportunity. He is a purveyor of ancient artifacts and has heard of some items of a Force-like nature hidden in caches on a few different planets.” Varex began. Sayr narrowed her eyes at the term “Force-like”. She had a feeling she knew why Varex had contacted her.

“What are these items of a Force-like nature?” She asked, eyes still narrowed at Varex. The Zabrak looked around to make sure no one was paying too much attention.

“I can’t say here, but I can tell you that they’re very old and very valuable.” Varex said, leaning forward. Sayriel stayed with her back against her booth seat. She wore an unimpressed expression on her face.

“What are they? Master Yoda’s bedtime slippers?” Sayriel asked sarcastically. Varex gave her a confused look in return.

“I don’t know who that is…but you can’t wear these I don’t think.” Varex replied, Sayriel rolled her eyes and leaned forward.

“So are you asking me because you value my company and think I make a wonderful work partner? Or is it because I have some tricks that will make these things very easy for you to find?” Varex didn’t hesitate with this reply.

“Both, but mainly the second thing.” Sayriel frowned and leaned back in her booth again, Varex quickly adding, “but also the first thing. You are a delight to have on the ship.” Sayriel held his gaze for a couple beats more and then turned her attention to her drink. She did appreciate his honesty and she did find his offer interesting. He drank his ale quickly and waited for her to finish her drink, which didn’t take long. Sparkling Stardust was always served in a small, delicate, wide-rimmed glass. But it was worth it.

“Okay fine, what the kriff. You were right, this sounds interesting.” She answered, Varex smiling in relief. Her joining his crew, even if on a temp basis, would make this mission so much easier. The two left the cantina, Varex paying for Sayriel’s drink on the way out. Varex gave Sayriel the coordinates to the current safe house. They both then parted ways and Sayriel found herself back out in space, surrounded by stars and silence.

Tag list

@jgvfhl @nelba @leias-left-hair-bun

@baby-queen-zen @halzore @escapedthesarlacc

[shades4dogs]

i had a SUPER tiring day i mite talk abut later but RIGHT NOW i wanna talk about the make it sweet! album for Um Jammer Lammy because i listtened to than a couple days ago, and just today i showed it 2 my little brother, and i wanted to write down what i thought about the tracks!!

i wrote down my personal thoughts on each track and gave it a rating out of 5 Dashies (-= It’s because i’m autistic plain and simple

if you read all of this you’re officially a legend

[1/2) Let’s Jam Together!/KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!] - waow!!!

I LOVE THIS SONG <3 i really liked this song when i heard it in the credits and was wondering what its name was, it was nice to hear it in the album as the very first track!!

i love the additional dialogue at the start, the “Hey, do you play the guitar? Let’s jam together!” really represents the ragtaginess of the band just kind of throwing themselves together to make music so naturally... like little jigsaw pieces... it makes me want to know exactly how they interacted before the formation of MilkCan, how long they’d known each other/how they had known each other, or if they met right as they made the band.

the playful and funny lyrics of this song are really great, and i like the way it trails off in the middle. like the song was just Katy Kat truly venting off her frustrations and heartbreak about someone she used to like.

i wonder who exactly Katy Kat is talking about here in this song... well anyways she’s got lammy now so all’s well (-=

the second portion’s lyrics sound a little dopey and off-key, but i think it reflects katy’s mood regarding the lyrics of how easy her life used to be, and it all comes together beautifully for the chorus reprise with some pretty strings (i love strings in rock music!)

i bet this kind of music really resonated with some young girls listening. Can’t relate however as I hate men.

overall this is a 5/5 dashies! “Amazing!”

[3) FRIGHT FLIGHT!!] - LOOK UP IN THE SKY.

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS IN THE GAME! when it started obviously i was expecting fussenpepper, and it was shocking to hear katy kat singing it

i think this is one of the covers that katy kat’s voice matches the most! her voice really fits shouting like that, it’s really hyped up

my favourite line from her cover is the “Now it’s time to move on, it only gets much harder, so carry on!”

and obviously i love hearing her say “Now do you like munchies? I wonder where lunch is!”

i do think that captain fussenpepper’s voice suits the song better than her, because it was made with him, but her voice definitely shines on this track!

overall this is a 4/5 dashies! “Really Good!”

[4) BABY BABY!!] - Imagine kids singing this on a car trip with their parents looking dead inside in the front seats.

I USED TO NOT LIKE THIS SONG. but playing it myself really warmed me up on it, and this version on the album made me like it even more!! i love katy kat’s additional lines between the baby’s, she suits giving those secondary vocals and they add a whole additional layer to the song.

i also like that the baby’s lyrics kind of echo over lammy’s guitar parroting, like you can hear the “... ma ma ma ma” coming in at the end of her first part, it sounds really nice!

this is the song i can really imagine kids shouting the lyrics to at a birthday party or something and i think they knew that when they added it O_O

overall this is a 4.5/5 dashies! “Almost Perfect!” i think it would’ve been cooler if the lammy and katy kat parts were more integrated with eachother. don’t ask me how exactly, because i don’t know, and maybe they didn’t either... it still came out REALLY nice!

[5) FIRE FIRE!!] - Aweome where is chief puddle? )-=

i think that this is my favourite song in the entire game, altho that will change depending on what day you ask me it, and a big part of it is fire chief puddle’s vocals and the brass and sound effects of the song

it kind of sucks that a lot of that seems lacking in katy’s version, although i like that it kind of seems like theres more emphasis on the percussions of it!

i don’t like the distant whispery vocals on the “Put it on the fire, feel good, Put it out cold and feel good”, it sounds really weird. because those lyrics are one of my favourites in the original song with chief puddle. i’d definitely rather listen to his version

overall this is a 3/5 dashies! “It’s Good!” i like katy’s vocals, but they definitely come out better on other tracks, and i miss chief puddle.

[6) PJ Berri Jam] - Much Love To The Funny Bear That Make’s Me Smile.

title made me a lot more excited for this song than i ended up feeling about it... OBVIOUSLY NO INSULT TO PJ’S JAM BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN COOL TO HAVE A BEAT WITH ORIGINAL LYRICS instead of just lines from the one cutscene...

it’d have been cooler if it was longer too, but i understand why it wasn’t, because the instrumentals work best in this little snippet instead of long-term where they’d definitely require more lyrics

i like that it sounds like the Fire Fire! parappa version considering that’s his first stage! i don’t know if there’s any verification to this, but it makes me think that the beats for all of parappa’s songs in Um Jammer Lammy are made by PJ, which is just really nice to think about... he’s so skilled ;_; PJ and parappa’s iconic collabs...

i don’t know how to rate this at all, but for the headcanon it gave me, i’m giving it a 4/5 dashies! “Really Good!”

[7) BIRTH SONG] - i wouldn’t play for someone else

EXTREMELY FUNNY NAME

i think i like the choir vocals of the song in the cutscenes, but i definitely love katy’s voice in this one, it sounds really sweet

i can’t remove it from the weirdness of the scenario (the first time i saw that shit i was so goddamn baffled) but this does actually Make It Sweet!

i love how her voice sounds in the chorus, and the last line (“Our newest little baby!”) sounds really nice in her voice!! 

IDK EXACTLY HOW TO DESCRIBE IT... her vocals just seem... sweetly genuine? like not that she’s really invested in what she’s saying, but just that she’s really enjoying singing it in a small and cute way? IDK... EITHER WAY i like it!

i like the additional lyrics as well! extensions to parappa/ujl songs should always be welcomed i think.

overall i rate this a 3.5/5 dashies! “Pretty Good!” weird song made fun and sweet by katy kat, thank you so much!

[8) THEME OF RAMMY] - music that makes you cause problems

yesssss YESSSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSS

WHEN I GOT TO THIS TRACK IT BECAME ONE OF MY NEW FAVOURITES OF THE WHOLE GAME!

i love the ditzy yet cool lull of the electric guitar, it sounds playful and silly, but with the aesthetic of the instruments used in the song it sounds awesome at the same time.

the strings throughout the song following the rhythm of that guitar add a slight classical feel to it as well that i really like, a level of elegance in contrast to the next part i describe

the muffled and staticy electric guitar parts sound so discordant, yet perfectly in control at the same time, and very In-Your-Face as they just come and go at random over the base sillysong. i really really like that, and it shows off Rammy’s fiery attitude!

i really love how the violent clash of the instruments seems to come together so well in this. it is a really well-made song that made me like Rammy more than i did previously. i think people who know me well will understand that i really like strings in otherwise intense songs, like violins and stuff, so i was really happy to hear some!

FULLY HONESTLY, MY ONLY WISH? is that it was longer. LOL

as an aside, the lull i described reminds me way too much of the theme for sam and max’s office in the TTG series. which obviously is a very personal reason to like the song more, but it is a reason for me NoneTheLess.

overall this gets a 5/5 dashies! “Amazing!”

[9) CASINO IN MY HAIR] - texan ear worm signs.

PAUL CHUCK COME GET YOUR SONG

ALSO THIS SONG BELONGS TO SANDY CHEEKS.

katy kat’s voice fits this song EXTREMELY SURPRISINGLY WELL! i like that she puts on the accent and everything, the rhythm of the lyrics and her enthusiasm go together so NICE!

i like the expansion of the lyrics and the repetition of it is one of its strengths, like any song of that kind (hopefully)

it’s a really big earworm for me, and every so often ill just sing out “Where’s that place that comes in pairs whenever I’m aware? Casino here, casino there, casino in my hair!” VERY SIMPLE YET VERY CATCHY

Yee Haw!

overall i rate this a 4.5/5 dashies! “Super Cool!” it couldn’t be better, but i wouldn’t say it’s one of the best, just for the sheer quality of the other songs i’ve given 5/5 to so far

SIDENOTE - [10) Radio Signal Jam] - F*ck you

OK. i like the presentation of this as if it’s playing live on a radio. it’s a nice little additional flavour to the whole thing that i enjoy immensely. HOWEVER.

nothing can match my disappointment at the next song not being Master Onion’s song. My heart will forever be broken by this traitorous deception. I was promised Tamanegi Sensei. Where is he! WHERE IS HE!!! WAS HE TO BUSY GAMBLING?? COME BACK I LOVE YOU

O-K let’s move on

[11) TASTE OF TERIYAKI] - songs that have mood swings

this song baffles me. i definitely get what they were trying to do with the intro portions with the dramatic quiet, the focus on the vocals and guitar with the creeping and echoing drums and reverberating electronic sounds

it could’ve been really cool, but for the most part it frankly sounds sh*t.

if they could’ve gotten some line re-dos from Teriyaki’s singer to match the lower tempo, it definitely would have sounded most excellent. But the use of the lyrics from the high-tempo song here is just jarring. when i showed this to my brother he genuinely just started laughing from how bad it sounded.

BUT HERE’S WHERE I CAN’T JUST RULE IT AS A BAD SONG.

THE SUDDEN SHIFT INTO THE HIGH TEMPO. IT IS BEAUTIFUL. IT ADDS SO MUCH EXTRA POWER TO THE CHORUS OF THE SONG. i like the song more with the brass and the backup singers, but this genuinely sounds so goddamn cool.

i LOVE the additional lines from teriyaki, it makes them sound even more like an idol! they sound amazing!

And then it stops. Back to the slow nonsense. I am left to dream of what could’ve been. i will say this one sounds better than the other one. Possibly because it’s shorter.

AND THEN THE AWESOME SONG COMES BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I’M LIKE YEAH WOO!!!!! i love the additional discordant sounds in this version, and i like that they did sometimes include the cool SHHH-PSHHH slap-ish sound in the chorus for this portion. the da da da DA DA! being with guitars instead of brass used to disappoint me, but the more i hear it here, the more i like it.

and then my favourite part of the song: the backup vocals combined with a fast rattling-off of teriyaki’s vocal lines from parappa’s version. this sounds godlike. This is the best. I roll around in circles listening to and thinking about this part. the fact that it fades out right as it gets to that breaks my heart into little pieces.

and then it’s over...

i think it’s very fitting that the song that takes over the album out of nowhere and is literally from hell is the most baffling and loved/hated by me. i don’t think i’ve ever been able to truly say that i both love and hate a song.

if someone was good enough at editing to combine this with the actual version of the song, as well as the vocal lines from parappa’s version, into an essentially extended cut of the album version without the weird slow parts, i would be forever indebted to them.

overall i rate this a ???/5 dashies. ”Help!” it flipflops way too much for me to give a number. Thank you Teriyaki Yoko.

[12) POWER OFF! POWER ON!] - HYYYYYYPE

i need to say it. this song has the coolest sounds in the entire game. this is one of the songs that i might abruptly decide is my favourite for a day or so and then go back to Fire Fire! or Taste of Teriyaki (game version). the guitar is most exquisite in this song.

my little brother adores this song, and a big part of that is credited to the silly vocals of Paul Chuck. he’s like Goofy but extra lethal. i love him

ANYWAYS. after Fire Fire! i was concerned that this song’s vocals would be replaced entirely by Katy, but it seems like they understood Paul Chuck’s integral nature to the charm of the song, and so we get a back-and-forth of them both singing lines, with lammy playing in between. it sounds REALLY good!

i like the additional lines by Chuck at the beginning during the intro. they’re a nice little bonus for the three Paul Chuck fans that exist (two being me and my brother)

as always, gotta love katy kat’s vocals!! they definitely benefit from being combined with the vocals of the original song. the chorus parts where they both sing in unison sound AWESOME!!! i wonder if the Fire Fire! cover would have benefited from this alternation....

the filter over the “NEVER USE JOE CHIN’S CHAIN’S FOR THEM!” really adds to it as well! i like that addition.

by the way my favourite line from this song is the “All I wanna hear is you’ve come over here, there’s no fooling around with gears!” it just has such a good flow. not really explicitly related to this version specifically, maybe less so since i prefer it with Chuck’s voice over Katy’s, but yeah.

this song is really hard for me in-game. like, more than any other song i think, apart from Taste of Teriyaki. which i would like to thank this song for allowing me to escape from (-=

this gets a 5/5 Dashies and a “DA-HYUCK!” from me!

[13) WE ARE MILKCAN!!] - Woaah My Head Is Spinning!

another original that only plays during the cutscenes, understandably without the vocals. i liked it then, and i like it even more now!

katy’s lyrics add SO SO MUCH to the high-tempo intensity of the introduction to this song, and the chaos of the entire thing makes it really fun to listen to

i do still enjoy the slower parts of this song! i can imagine katy singing this as the events she describe happen in real time. i really like listening to her try to encourage lammy and ma-san to get it together and play with her. 

the bouncing between the full music of her lines contrasting with the quiet and dinky replies of ma-san and lammy makes this track really fun to listen to!

after that part, it goes back to sounding like the intro portion again, but increases in tempo drastically overtime, before suddenly slowing down again and then launching into high speed at random. it’s a really fun and theatrical and dramatic piece to listen to!!!

personally though, it’s not so much my thing based on the sound alone. it’s definitely a great song but i like things a little more relaxed and orderly than this. the quality of it comes from the lyrics and the emotions they manage to carry through with the instrumentals. its a really good glimpse into the nature and personality of MilkCan!

i give this song a 4/5! “Really Good!” there’s nothing i’d suggest to improve this song. it’s just a little to hectic for me, and feels more like music for a theatrical play than any other track. i generally don’t like that kind of stuff (altho there’s definitely exceptions)

SIDENOTE - [14) Jam Chin] - F*ck you eggplant head saunaman.

You disrespected Parappa. You disrespected Sunny Funny and her sweet smile. You have disrespected MilkCan.

Thank you Ma-San for killing this man. I love U.

[15) GOT TO MOVE! (Millennium Girl)

the final song... i knew it would be Got To Move... it makes COSMIC sense

i like the additional little part before the song begins giving some time to breathe in before my head starts screaming in excitement at this song.

this is an AMAZING song and another one of my little brother’s favourites! he likes to sing it! it’s not one of my favourites but it’s definitely revered with me. it’s a sheer quality song and the one that best captures the soul of MilkCan!!

and i have to say. this album version made me like it EVEN MORE. at first i was enjoying the regular song, but then in the second part PARAPPA comes in with the alternate lines from his version in-between Katy Kat’s lines. it is SO SO SO cool. i often think about how songs in the game would sound with parappa’s versions incorporated in some fashion like this and it comes out so EPIC!!

it seriously made me pog SO hard when i heard him coming in. SOOOO exciting!

some thought notes about this song:

i really like the guitar during the portion leading up to the chorus, it sounds really cool.

katy’s singing in the chorus itself is the best of ALL her singing! her voice blends perfectly with the tone, the pitch shifts, the vibes... angellic truly

parappa‘s lyrics in-between add such an awesome additional energy, especially the lyrics that go on a little longer, like “But let me give you a word of advice, it seems like a waste of time, but it’s nice!” those lines shine the most to me.

my other favourite part is the rapid backforth in the later part of the chorus, especially the “GO! ON! MOVE! ON!” between katy’s lines. it goes together IMPECCABLY

it should be obvious, but this song gets a 5/5 Dashies from me! “Amazing!” it truly blew me away, just like the 5/5 Dashie portions of Taste of Teriyaki did. i love the fact that Parappa’s lines are slightly more muted and behind a bit of a filter to make sure the focus is on Katy’s iconic lines, but are clear enough to be enjoyed.

Truly Thank U so much if you read this far... i love u so mach.... thank you for listening to me ramble about my current hyperfix <3 (-=

[ayashiki-i-i]

Last Friday, I had the absolute joy and privilege to see Be More Chill in London!

(Yes, last Friday, this has been sitting in my drafts for over a week because I couldn’t figure out how to appropriately convey my delight with this show, and also yes, joy and privilege, call me dramatic but I swear to god nothing on this Earth makes me appreciate my life quite as live theatre.)

I have loved this show for a very long time. Not quite since its first Two Rivers Theatre run, but very early on from when it caught the internet’s attention. I was at the start of what was to become a viral sensation, and I was with the show, rooting for it, hoping for it, ever since. I feel like I walked the journey from crossing million hits on Spotify to the Broadway alongside the cast and creators. I felt immensely happy and proud for these people I never met when they announced their off-Broadway return, and I honest to god cried the day they opened on Broadway. Needless to say, I was overjoyed, literally jumping with happiness, when they announced they will stage a production on West End. Or technically off-West End? I’m still very confused how The Other Palace is not West End and Victoria Palace literally around the corner is West End... Anyway. I have not walked into that theatre on Valentine’s Day with low expectations.

And my Mount Everest high expectations were far, far exceeded and shot somewhere into the stratosphere.

I really can’t with words describe how much I loved this show. Joes Iconis and Tracz managed to hit some very special spot with this musical. It’s truly hard to describe, but this show just makes you happy. It makes you involved and interested. And I gotta tell you, I think we hit the press night, because there was a bunch of people (very respectfully) scribbling on their pads and iPads during the show, so this wasn’t an audience primed and geared for this type of musical. And that’s not even counting all the parents chaperoning their teenagers. And I can guarantee you everyone had a great time. During the intermission I went to get a drink and witnessed several conversations between aforementioned parents that all pretty much amounted to “wow, this is actually good!” It’s honestly such a treat to be in an audience that’s genuinely enjoying themselves.

This show is funny, and heartfelt, and charming. So charming. It has somehow a vibe of a really well done high school production, which could maybe sound like a criticism but i swear it isn’t!

I haven’t seen much of the previous productions, except few clips from the Two Rivers bootleg slime tutorial, but I really tried not to watch too much, hoping against hope there will be a revival one day (I try not to watch shows I have a chance of seeing one day. I’m fortunate to have the chance of having the full experience live so I try not to ruin it for myself lol). I gobbled up all the official promo clips and videos from the NYC revival, being super unlucky and managing to plan my New York trip in that small window when BMC just closed Off-Broadway and before it got on Broadway. I haven’t even listened to the Broadway recording, because by the time it came out I knew they’ll be staging a production over here. So i went in quite blind. With all that previous ado, this is how it was:

The book is so good. So so good. Many times when I fall in love with an album, the actual musical doesn’t hold up because the book doesn’t compare (hi, Dear Evan Hansen). But BMC is as engaging and fun between the songs as during them. Tbh I don’t love the changes to the songs they made, but I don’t really hate them either... Now having listened to the Broadway recording they reverted somewhat back to the original album on West End and I’m happy they did, but still. Especially Pitiful Children did not deserve the cuts. But I mean its still mostly the same album and it’s brilliant and fun, and ok, Looser, Geek or Whatever is a bop.

(Although I always kinda liked that Jeremy didn’t have a typical big “hero song” because he keeps mentioning how he isn’t a hero and it was kinda ironic that his own show refused him the hero treatment, but the song is solid.)

This cast is EVERYTHING. I’m sorry all previous casts, I love you and I respect you but i really think the British cast is (so far) the peak? Obviously as I said I don’t have the full picture to compare, but honestly these guys are all so good and I can’t imagine anyone else in these roles, they set the bar so high. Yes, even Michael. Omg I’m so sorry George Salazar! This role is his in a very special way, and I feel blasphemous saying this! But that’s what makes Blake Patrick Anderson so special, because I didn’t think I will ever be able to accept another Micheal than George Salazar. But from the first moment Anderson appears on stage, you don’t think of George Salazar. This right here is a Micheal and that’s it. I think he’s slightly less... Manic, than Salazar, and more caring, but also more stubborn, and nerdy. My friend said after the first act the character’s problem is that he’s a bit too likeable and it’s almost unbelievable he would be a social outcast and she was right. The dude is so damn likeable! So charming, so positive. And then Micheal in the Bathroom hits and omg does it hit. Also Blake Patrick Anderson has a really long name is very pretty. A+ snack. I’m in love. Scott Folan is, uh, I don’t really love him vocally... Ok I liked him until Loser Geek of Whatever. I don’t know, maybe it wasn’t his day. Or maybe that song is just written for Will Roland and no one will ever measure up? Tbh I haven’t seen Roland sing it live so who knows, maybe it is one of those songs that’s hard to perform without yelling a bit. Praying circle for the West End cast album? However Scott Folan’s acting is a masterclass. He’s so awkward in the first act, so sad, but also sweet. Actually I said i didn’t love his singing but when his voice cracks all over in his first few songs it’s superb and also his “Christiiine~” is really beautiful and lovely, so, dunno *shrugs*. And then in the second half he totally sells his confidence and assholer-y and like... They seem like two different jeremys, the squipped and un-squipped one. But ultimately he just gives such good-kid vibes. He seems like the perfect midpoint between Will Connolly’s shy Bambi and Roland’s geeky recluse. This Christine is absolutely feral. Like, you have no idea. Some people commented on the video of I Love Play Rehersal from the rehearsals that this Christine is not chaotic enough, so I’m seriously worried how chaotic Stephenie Hsu was? :D In any case Miracle Chance I thought was perfect, the ideal mixture of quirky but relatable, sweet but strong. Also she is hilarious. I’m pretty sure she got the most laugh out of the audience, not just because the actress’s absolutely perfect comedic timing but also that role is so well written. Like you really can’t get the full idea of this character until you watch the show, you know? It’s very layered, but each layer is easy to get so she makes a really fun character to watch. The Squip is hot. Like so hot. And his costumes are wonderful. And I know I’m not the only one who didn’t love Jason Tam’s accent as Squip and like... I think I know what he was going for but it just doesn’t work for me. This Squip is a lot more like Eric William Morris, just more hot. Oh yeah I mean the dude is fantastic actor too, and his voice is something impressive, but mostly I was just thinking “hot” whenever he was on stage :D James Hameed’s Rich is vocally stunning. By far the best Squip Song I have ever heard. Also he has Pickle Rick tattoo?? It’s fucking brilliant I HATE IT! :D Millie O’Connel is perfect of course. She has such a presence on stage. It was hilarious when she came out after the show, with her hair down and make-up off and said hi and people mostly kinda ignored her cause... She’s really a hurricane on stage and when she dials it down just a notch I really think people don’t connect her to her stage persona :D

(Also like, massive kudos to The Other Palace’s stage door, cause they allow you to just hang around the bar where the cast has to go through to leave the place, so no dirty alleyways stage dooring in rain and cold and possible pickpockets around.)

I really loved the staging, and it’s very small, very minimal, which isn’t something I normally like, so well done! They definitely dialled back from the Broadway (the bean bags are back!) and honestly the minimal props and simple set really suit this show. It adds to that almost-like-a-really-good-school-play charm. But also they have this massive LED screen as the background so they can change and move and animate their backdrop and it’s honestly so impressive. The artwork is so perfectly in line with the show’s aesthetic. And it’s building up and up towards the show’s climax which I thought was pretty subtle and pretty neat creative decision.

Ugh this is so long I didn’t think it would be so long :D But I have one criticism I cannot not mention. And I kinda always had this, but seeing it live it jumps out on me more - I don’t feel Jeremy and Christine :| I mean don’t get me wrong. The actors have amazing chemistry, their added song is the one that I actually really like and it makes sense, there’s so much more meaningful interaction they have in the show than the songs wold suggest. But. It still doesn’t quite sit well. Besides the fact that I don’t think the show’s narrative is about Jeremy getting the girl - that’s not really his character arc. But also, although they’re not incompatible, he gets the girl he doesn’t even really know, and she definitely doesn’t know him. I think I would prefer if they just stayed friends at the end, but if there had to be romantic conclusion... Well, I mean who doesn’t ship boyf friends, but seriously if Michael was a girl I’m pretty sure he’d be the romantic endgame for Jeremy. You know the type, the old friend who was by the protagonists side and believed in him all along? Yeah. But besides that, i was surprised to find I kinda liked Jeremy with Brooke too? I mean they have the same problem as Jeremy and Christine, with not knowing each other and all that, but at least it’s mutual, and they seemed to have a spark. But maybe it’s just because I unexpectedly really, really loved Brooke (she doesn’t have much space on the album and no one ever really talks about her, why does no one really talk about her???). She defies a lot of her archetype, she seems like such a sweet person. I guess I would just like to see more of her, and more depth to her, which a romance with the protagonist would’ve given her.

But tbh the show devotes a lot more time than I thought it would for Christine and Jeremey’s relationship to develop and it isn’t unrealistic, so it ended up being a pretty minor issue, which i though would be a bigger one.

Tl;dr (oh my god why is this so long????) this show is everything I wanted and more. The West End cast is amazing, charming and delightful and each of them is perfectly cast to really embody their character, while giving some fresh outlook on characters I thought I knew very well and filling very big shoes of the original cast I thought couldn’t be replaced. Also I didn’t talk to any of them but they spend a long time hanging out with the fans after the show and seemed genuinely super nice and pleased with the love the show is getting. The book is more than an equal partner to the music I already was in love with (also Joe Iconis was at the show I saw! I didn’t talk to him because I’m me and I will forever regret it!). The Other Palace’s staging and direction is wonderful, and the choreography is impressive and very on brand with the rest of the show, very modern, very electro and robot. I enjoyed every second and the standing ovation at the end was well deserved.

Just to re-affirm how much I loved this show - just few days after seeing it I booked a ticket to go see it again almost immediately lol. So if anyone is seeing it this Wednesday 26th Feb and you can telepathically pick me in the audience come say hello!

(Or like, drop me a message like a normal person if you’re also going alone and want to meet with someone to seem less like a weirdo! :D)

[h3trappedcollection]

Author Interview Part V

The talented and all-round fabulous @weilongfu joined us today for another part of the Author Interview. 

Stories written for the Collection:

The Day of Singularity

Four meetings with Officer Meng (But one with Shao Fei) 

Interview:

How did you come into the Trapped fandom?

I came into the Trapped fandom the way I’ve gotten into many of my fandoms. By everyone around me screaming about it. People like @andwebegin, @ctl-yuejie, and @florbexter were pretty instrumental in getting me aware that it was going to happen. Especially after having taken their word about HIStory2: CTL, I was more than willing to check out Trapped. Especially after I found out more about the potential plot. 

My usual philosophy after that is to at least watch the first few episodes. If I’m not hooked by anything, then I give it up. Trapped kept me hooked for good! I fell in love with everyone in the show and the rest is… history? 

Who’s your favourite character?

I love a lot of characters in the show for different reasons. I love Zhao Zi for his honesty and genuine desire to do good. I like the mystery and mischief of Jack. I admire Tang Yi’s deep feelings and emotions. And I greatly enjoyed Shao Fei’s straightforwardness and ability to commit. If I had to pick one, I’d go with Zhao Zi because we both love food, potentially like dangerous boys, and we both want the world to be a better place.

What’s your favourite trope?

I honestly have been enjoying a lot of the AU fics that are in the fandom. Like the original Trapped setting is great, but pushing the boys into college or further back? It’s been an amazing thing to read and I’ve enjoyed it immensely. As to whether I’ll write it? Eh… Someone did ask if I’d ever write a proposed fic about College Freshman!Jack dating HS Senior!Zhao Zi so…

What do you like about writing for Trapped?

The best part about writing for Trapped has actually been the fandom. Everyone is so supportive and nice. It’s a real pleasure to see the responses I get which are also always very friendly. 

Aside from that? Trapped has such varied and interesting characters. It’s very easy to find the right knob to twist or switch to flip that can make a large variety of fics happen. 

Care to elaborate about your writing process?

My writing process is a mess!

I don’t usually outline because then I over-outline. A lot of my fics were spawned from just coming up with a good title! And that’s in every fandom I write for. 

But once I get going, things usually just flow. I’ll go back and read it once or twice to make sure I haven’t truly fucked something up, but once I’m done, I’m usually done for good and I post it before I second guess myself. Truly, I treat writing fics like how I take exams. Just get it done and hand it in before you delete/erase something that actually worked!

Sometimes it’s not that easy, and I have struggled with a few fics just because I’ve managed to overthink myself or I get hung up on an idea, but I have yet to find a better or more comfortable way for me to write. 

Your favourite Trapped fic by another author?

Oooo…. Well I have to give a shout out to @decadentdeerpolice and @the-wintry-mizzenmast for their lovely fics during the last exchange. I absolutely loved how they filed the prompt for me. 

I’m also a big fan of Skuld’s The Divine Art of the Househusband series. It’s definitely a twist on what Jack’s life as a househusband would be like and it’s always fun to see a new update!

I also liked @sarah-yyy ‘s fics fortune and amuse bouche. 

The next set of fics I’m actually eagerly awaiting updates on is Flor’s Breaking the Firewall series. The espionage and manoeuvring that’s happened in just the first parts is already super fun.

What do you want to write but never had the nerve to?

Hmm… I’m not sure? There aren’t a lot of ideas that I’ve never really had the nerve to put down on paper, if only to get them to stop bothering me. There are a few that never really made it to paper though. Like my Fantasy!AU where all the boys are different positions and have different abilities. 

I wanted to write Jack as a member of the Assassin’s Guild. Zhao Zi would be part of the guard and mostly be seen as a scribe, except when he pulls the robes off and gives most thieves a run for their money in his trap deactivating, lock picking, and ward/seal breaking. Shao Fei would, of course, be a paladin as he believes in the law and doing what’s right. Tang Yi would so be a weapons master type character, as once he was adopted by the ‘noble’ Tang Guo Dong, he was trained in many styles to defend himself. 

The idea fell apart after that because I had no idea what they’d do afterwards. Plus they’re missing a ranged caster and committed healer in the party and everyone who has played D&D knows that’s a mistake waiting to cause a total party kill. (I mean you could argue Hong Ye would totally make a great sorceress and Dao Yi would be the cleric cleaning up her messes, but let’s not get this any bigger.)

If you want, please share a snippet of your current Trapped WIP!

It wasn’t very often that Zhao Zi wondered what was the first link in the chain of decisions that lead him to slightly less than desirable outcomes. Not because Zhao Zi lacked insight or critical thinking, he was a police officer after all. It was often because Zhao Zi was usually pretty good at pulling himself out of a pinch.

A smile and innocent disposition were very good for many things. When those failed, being flexible in many ways helped some more.

(The third option was that he was legally allowed to carry a gun, even if no one wanted Zhao Zi to carry a gun.)

But as Zhao Zi lifted a large, homemade sausage to his lips while Jack eyed him expectantly, Zhao Zi contemplated if his grandmother would approve of what he was about to do to a perfectly decent piece of food and what had brought him to this new point in his life in the first place.

------

Zhao Zi had been through practice interrogations before, but none of them had prepared him for someone like Jack. And despite Jack’s initial countenance, there was something about his smile, how easily he showed his teeth. It should have been predatory and dangerous. But in the curve of Jack’s eyes, Zhao Zi knew he wasn’t in any danger.

Of course, Zhao Zi knew plenty about Jack. Working with Shao Fei for so long, Zhao Zi knew plenty about Tang Yi’s most recent right hand man. Jack was a known mercenary, but he’d somehow managed to keep his nose just clean enough, just on the gray side of legal. All evidence was circumstantial. Even the International Crimes Division was often stuck dancing around Tang Yi’s lawyers when they were aiming for whatever secrets were hiding in Jack’s mind.

So it was Jack’s smile and eyes that allowed Zhao Zi to sell Shao Fei out in exchange for food. He did not expect the food to taste as good as it would. Nor did he expect that he might enjoy Jack pulling him close as Zhi De knocked over his bowl of noodles.

Zhao Zi decided to be open-minded. Jack was certainly interesting and fun. No harm in getting to know someone, right?

------

Jack knew he was smitten the moment Zhao Zi sold out his friend for food.

Good survival instincts. Good taste. Cute face too.

Jack was also hardly the kind of guy who just let things happen to him. But Zhao Zi was a new quantity. He’d have to slowly edge his way in, find out just how Zhao Zi might handle another man pursuing him.

So when Zhao Zi said, “Don’t you need to try it?”

Jack knew this was his chance to appeal to the clear foodie Zhao Zi was. “I don’t need to. I know I’m a good cook.”

“Huh? I meant Ah Fei’s number!”

“Too subtle,” Jack thought.

But Jack got to hold Zhao Zi close and a promise to see him again anyway.

“That could be like a date, right?” Jack thought as he rushed to collect Tang Yi from the hospital.

Thank you so much @weilongfu for the Interview

[thecassadilla]

Change of Pace - Chapter 4

Pairing: Kristanna

Chapter 4 on AO3

Read from Chapter 1 on AO3

Word Count: 4,779

Summary: With her sister’s blessing, Anna takes a step back from her royal duties and finds herself working for a ski resort nestled in the mountains. A chance encounter with the resort’s maintenance technician leads them down an unexpected path, as they must work together to plan the resort’s annual ball - and maybe fall in love in the process.

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's been reading it so far!!! It really means so, so much to me. Hanukkah is this week, so Happy Hanukkah to those of you that celebrate!!!  And once again I apologize for all of the asterisks - tumblr removes posts with “bad language” from the tags. Uncensored version is on AO3! I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!

There was a part of him that felt like a complete a*shole for taking the brunt of his anger out on Anna, watching as she curled into herself and attempted to placate him before he stomped away. The other part of him was too busy seeing red to care - the situation may not have been directly her fault, but it was one that could’ve been avoided altogether. He knew that helping her was a bad idea from the start, but he foolishly did it anyway. Even Andrew was shocked when he initially asked if he could leave for a bit.

“Hey man,” he said. “Do you mind if I step away for a few minutes?”

“What’s going on?” Andrew asked.

“I have to take someone somewhere.”

The other man furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m confused.”

Kristoff sighed. “I have to take the lady from the event office to the abandoned building right off the C Ski Lift. So she could scope it out for her party.”

“Is she pretty?”

“Is that relevant?”

“Go for it, man,” Andrew said, a knowing look plastered across his face.

Frankly, it was a bit humiliating; Andrew wasn’t the type to tease or make a fuss out of things like that. But in hindsight, Kristoff, himself, wasn’t the type to jump in and save the day for a stranger while he was on the clock.

And it had gone really well - at first. Sure, she’d said a few things that had indirectly insulted him and he’d been a little sharp with her, but it was abundantly clear that she meant no harm. Other than that, she was immensely grateful for his help - going as far as calling him a hero and rewarding him with a hug. Truth be told, he was looking forward to getting away from her as quickly as possible. Despite the fact that she was pretty and sweet, she was also the absolute last thing he needed in his life. His life was already pathetic and sad, and there was absolutely no reason to even attempt to get to know her when she’d inevitably leave just like everyone else did.

And then she enthusiastically told Bonnie that he had a hand in finding the new venue and his life changed in the blink of an eye. Not only would he have to step away from the job that he so desperately needed to be present for, but he’d also have to spend forty hours a week with her for months. And he was certain that it wasn’t the type of job where they could just sit around and mind their own business - he’d done a repair in the event office a few years prior and it was nothing but constant chatting the entire time he was there.

By the time he marched back into the ballroom that afternoon, a couple of his other coworkers had made it in and Andrew was giving them a rundown of what had happened and what the game plan was. Upon noticing that he returned, though, Andrew decided to stop what he was doing and inquire about his excursion.

“Hey, how did it go with your event planning girl?”

And at that point, despite the blazing inferno of anger inside of him, he couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. “Horrible. Absolutely horrible.”

Andrew chuckled nervously. “What happened? She turned you down?”

“Nope, I wasn’t even planning on asking her out,” he answered. “But I don’t work here anymore. Starting Monday, I report to the event planning office as her assistant.”

Andrew’s face fell. “Wait, what?”

“She told Bonnie that I helped her find the place and Bonnie decided to reward me for my good deed by shipping me upstairs.”

“Dude, we need you here. Do you see the state of this room?”

Kristoff shrugged. “I tried to tell that to Bonnie, but she didn’t care.”

“I’m going to talk to her,” Andrew insisted. “There’s not a chance in hell that we’re losing you so you could go sit in an office and plan a party.”

“Please,” he practically begged. “I really don’t want to be pulled away from this.”

Andrew nodded. “I’ll do whatever I can.”

But just as he expected, Andrew wasn’t able to get very far with Bonnie. She emphasized that he was needed in the event planning office, and that if the maintenance team needed extra hands, they could hire temporary employees - which was a*s backwards, if you asked him. It was totally illogical to hire several temps, when she only had to hire one assistant event planner, but he chalked it up to the fact that Andrew would be responsible for hiring the temps, not her.

So, he made a decision. He’d go in and begrudgingly do whatever they asked him to in the meantime - but he wasn’t going to make any promises. If another job popped up elsewhere and he was offered the position, he was going to take it without a second thought. Event planning office and Valley Ski Resort, be damned.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Monday morning, Anna woke up before her alarm and laid in bed for what felt like an eternity, staring at the ceiling and trying to calm her racing heart. When her alarm finally went off, she crawled out of bed and started her day, meticulously applying her makeup and choosing nice clothes in an effort to create a better second impression. For the first time in two months, she was absolutely dreading going to work - a feeling that she hoped would pass with time, since she actually liked her job.

“Good morning,” she called upon entering the office, relieved to see that only Holly was there and Kristoff had not yet arrived.

“Morning, Anna,” Holly responded.

“How are you?”

“I’m okay. How about you?”

“Could be better.”

“I’m sorry,” Holly frowned. “Is it because of the new guy?”

“Yeah.” Anna closed her eyes and exhaled through her nose. “I’m not looking forward to today. I actually feel a little sick to my stomach.”

“You do look a little green. I have an antacid if you want it.”

She shook her head. “No, it won’t do anything. I’m just anxious because I feel like I ruined someone’s life.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Anna. You can’t blame yourself.”

“Not only am I blaming myself, he’s blaming me too. He said as much.”

“He should be blaming Bonnie.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I feel really bad, though.”

“I know. But you have to remember that you were trying to do the right thing. There’s nothing wrong with that,” Holly assured her.

“Thanks, Holly.”

“And I may have some good news for you.”

Anna raised her eyebrows. “You do?”

“So, I know you said that you weren’t interested, but my husband and I went to dinner with a few of his work friends over the weekend and there’s this one guy who is, like, super single. I started talking about you, of course, and I showed him a picture of you, and he’s very interested in going on a date with you - if you want to, of course.”

“Really?”

Holly nodded. “Oh, yes. His name is Darren. He thinks you’re beautiful and I was telling him how you’re sweet and friendly, but kind of down on your luck right now for reasons I didn’t want to discuss, ahem.”

She smiled. “And?”

“He asked for your number. I didn’t give it to him because I wanted to check in and make sure that you were okay with it first - you know, because you specifically said that you didn’t want to be set up on a blind date - but I can send it to him right now if you want me to.”

“Sure,” Anna agreed with a nervous giggle. “You can give him my number.”

“Yes!” Holly cheered, pumping her fist in the air. “I was beyond convinced that you were going to say ‘no.’”

She shrugged. “It’s not like I have anything to lose.”

“That’s the spirit! You deserve to have a little fun! Don’t let a new job and a rude maintenance man get you down.”

As if on cue, the door to the office opened and both women turned toward it as Kristoff walked in.

“Hi,” Holly said before clearing her throat and standing up. “Kristoff, right?”

“Yup,” he answered shortly.

“I’m Holly Williams. I never had the chance to properly introduce myself last week.” She offered him her hand and he accepted, shaking for a moment. “And I’m sure you remember Anna.”

Anna gulped before squeaking out a simple greeting. “Hi.”

He didn’t bother to answer or even look in her direction.

“You can hang your coat up on the rack over there and then I’ll show you to your desk,” Holly said. They both watched as he shrugged out of his coat and hung it up before Holly led him to the desk at the back of the room that once belonged to Jenny. She pointed to a post-it note that was stuck to the border of the computer screen. “This is the login information for the computer, and I’m going to have an email account set up for you by the end of the day.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m sure you have some questions about what exactly your role is going to be.”

Anna glanced over, trying to gauge his mood and how he was reacting to all of this. Instead of answering Holly, he kept his eyes cast downward.

“So,” Holly started, once she’d come to the realization that he wasn’t going to answer. “You’ll be the assistant event planner. Um, basically you’ll be helping Anna host the rest of the events for the season, since the events have mostly been planned in advance. The primary event you’ll have to focus on is our annual ball -”

“I know about the party,” he said, cutting her off mid-sentence.

“Of course.” Holly clapped her hands together. “I heard that you were an integral part of finding our new venue.”

“Yup.”

“So, Anna is actually working on finalizing the guest list today, and the invitations have to be mailed out later this week. We’re expecting to have around five hundred invitations to send out, and you’ll be responsible for helping her with assembling the envelopes for mailing.”

“Okay.”

“Aside from that, you and Anna are going to have to work together on the rest of the planning. She’ll be able to explain what that entails. Oh, and I ordered new tables and chairs since all of the furniture in the ballroom was destroyed. The first few are going to be delivered this week, so you’ll have to make sure that they arrive at the new venue.”

“Okay.”

“Let me get you one of our event calendars,” Holly said, walking away from his desk and back to hers. “So you have an idea of what’s happening over the course of the next few months.”

Anna’s eyes trailed her silently as she made her way across the room and back. Holly handed him the paper and his eyes scanned the page.

“Do I have to be at all of these events?” Kristoff asked incredulously.

“Typically, yes,” Holly answered. “Unless you have some kind of prior obligation.”

He scoffed, tossing the paper onto the desk and shaking his head in disbelief. The two women exchanged a worried glance.

Holly cleared her throat. “I know this is probably going to be a bit of an adjustment for you, but it’ll only be for the next couple of months. So until April -”

“April?! I’ll be here until April?!”

“According to the email that Bonnie sent me, yes.”

“I thought I was supposed to stick around for the party and then go back to my regular job.”

“Well, Anna will be leaving in April so that’ll give Bonnie a considerable amount of time to fill both positions.”

“And hypothetically, if Bonnie isn’t able to fill those positions - what will happen to me? Will I just be stuck here?”

“I don’t know,” Holly answered with a sigh. “You’ll have to talk to Bonnie about that. But I understand that this has to be an incredibly difficult situation for you.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You could say that again.”

“How about you tell us a little bit about yourself? And then Anna and I will talk about ourselves.”

“I live here, I work here - there isn’t really much to it.”

Holly smiled. “Oh, did you grow up here?”

“Yup.”

“I did too! Did you go to Valley High School?”

“That’s the only high school here,” he muttered.

“When did you graduate? I graduated in oh-eight.”

“Fifteen.”

“Ooh, my husband started working there the year before. But he teaches freshmen, so you wouldn’t have had him.”

He smiled dryly. “Nice.”

“Anna, when did you graduate?” Holly asked, clearly trying to bring her into the conversation.

“Seventeen.”

“You’re the only one who was lucky enough to escape the woes of Valley High School.”

“That’s true,” she nodded. “I was homeschooled.”

“Lucky you,” he scoffed. “Valley sucks.”

Holly clicked her tongue. “It isn’t that bad.”

He rolled his eyes. “Speak for yourself.”

“It’s a small town high school, everyone knows everyone and there’s a lot of gossip,” Holly explained to Anna. “The stuff you go through there kind of follows you through life.”

“That’s unfortunate,” she remarked.

“One of my friends got pregnant junior year - her family literally had to move away because the whole town knew within a week and they wouldn't stop talking about them.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “So why do people stay?”

“Small town charm, friendly neighbors, more relaxed than a big city.”

“Or because they don’t have a choice,” Kristoff chimed in.

“That too,” Holly agreed. “Before the resort expanded, tourists only visited during the skiing season. This town relies on the revenue that tourists bring in order to stay afloat. I think there was a collective sigh of relief when we became a year-round tourist trap.”

Anna nodded sympathetically. “That’s good, at least -”

Holly’s phone rang then, interrupting the conversation. “Excuse me,” she said, strolling over to her desk.

Kristoff sighed. “So what am I supposed to be doing right now?”

“If you want, you can start stuffing the invitations into the envelopes,” Anna offered. “And once I finish the guest list, we can start sticking the addresses on.”

“Fine,” he agreed.

She took the box of invitations out from her desk drawer, walked them over to him and set the box on his desk. “Don’t worry about sealing them. We’ll do that another day.”

By the time she made it back to her desk, he was already looking at the invitations. “You realize that the wrong location is printed on these, right?”

“What?”

“The location is wrong,” he said, holding one up. “It says that the party is in the ballroom, not the new venue.”

“Oh god, I forgot about that,” she blurted, jumping up and grabbing the invitation from his hands. “No, no, no...”

“Now what?”

“I don’t know,” she confessed, biting her lip and glancing over at Holly, who was still on the phone. “It took a few weeks for these to get shipped to us, and I don’t know if we have enough time to order new ones and ship them out with enough time for the guests to respond. I don’t know what to do.”

“Great,” he huffed. “You really run a well-oiled machine around here.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, you just said you don’t know what you’re doing, didn’t you?”

“You seem to forget that a pipe burst and destroyed the ballroom on your watch on Friday,” she pointed out defensively. “It’s Monday.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Are you blaming me for a burst pipe?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Only if you’re blaming me for invitations that were printed before the pipe burst.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that if you’d have caught this three days ago, maybe you could’ve ordered new invitations.”

“You do realize that a lot of businesses are closed on weekends? That it probably wouldn’t have made a significant difference? Besides, we may not have the time to order new invitations and we may have to send these as-is. That’s my point.”

“The point is that you still don’t know what you’re doing.”

“And what would’ve happened if the pipe burst the day before the party? Hmm?”

“Why are you acting like I should know the answer to this?” he argued. “This is not my department. I’m only here because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut.”

She felt her jaw tense. “You know that’s not my fault.”

“Woah, what is happening?” Holly interjected loudly.

“The invitations have the wrong location on them and it’s my fault for not immediately catching it and ordering new ones after the pipe burst on Friday,” Anna explained, her blood practically boiling. “Oh, and I don’t know what I’m doing because I’m too busy running my mouth. Not because of the wrench in our plans, but because I talk too much.”

“I didn’t say that,” he hissed.

“Yes you did! When you blamed me, yet again, for something that Bonnie did. I didn’t ask for you to come work with us.”

“You’re the one that told her that I found the venue!”

“You did find it and I was trying to be nice,” she growled. “Something that you seem to be incapable of.”

“Don’t forget that you just blamed me for a burst pipe. What should I have done? Put some duct tape over it?”

“You know, this could’ve gone so differently if you had kept your mouth closed on Friday. You’re the one who told me about the new venue, remember?”

“Okay, enough,” Holly stated firmly. “Kristoff - it is not Anna’s fault that you got transferred here, and the situation with the invitations is not her fault, either. Anna - it’s not Kristoff’s fault that the pipe burst and we’re happy that he found a new venue for us. I already have one baby at home and I’m not interested in coming to work and taking care of two more. This is an office, not a boxing ring or a debate stage.”

The silence that came after Holly spoke was deafening; the only noise in the entire room was the sound of their collective breathing and the heaters running.

When things had cooled off slightly, Holly piped up again. “Now here’s what’s going to happen - we’re going to send out the invitations as-is, but we’re going to stuff the envelopes with information about the location change. On the day of, we’ll put signs out all over the lobby and we’ll have someone wait by the ballroom to direct people to the new venue - I’ll do it myself if I have to.”

“That’s a good idea,” Anna agreed, exhaling with relief.

“The deadline to RSVP is by mid-January, and the invitations take three weeks to order so we can’t order new ones. We wouldn’t be giving the guests enough time to get back to us.”

“Told you,” Anna gloated, smiling smugly in Kristoff’s direction.

He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, but didn’t argue back. After a moment of sulking, he sat up and started on the task in front of him.

The rest of the day passed without incident and with minimal noise. Anna and Holly repeatedly exchanged glances with each other and tried to avoid talking like they would’ve on a normal day, though there were a few slips - specifically when Darren texted her to introduce himself.

“Look who texted me,” Anna said, pushing her chair over to Holly’s desk with her feet and holding out her phone.

Holly squinted at the device before squealing. “That’s so exciting! You’d better say ‘yes’ when he asks you out.”

“I’m going to,” she giggled. “Obviously.”

“This is really so great,” Holly smiled. “I’m so happy for you.”

On her way back to her desk, she noticed that Kristoff was looking in her direction through the corners of his eyes but she did her best to pretend like she didn’t see it and went about the rest of her day.

“It’s five,” Kristoff spoke up finally, after literal hours of silence. “Can I go now?”

“Of course,” Holly nodded. “Let me walk you to the elevator.”

He looked less than thrilled at the idea, but nevertheless, grabbed his coat and held the door open for Holly to follow behind him without uttering a goodbye. Anna eagerly awaited Holly’s return, knowing that she’d finally be able to talk freely now that he was gone.

She barely waited for Holly to close the door behind her before asking, “Did you say something to him?”

“I told him that he needs to stop being a d*ck or he’ll be out of a job,” Holly answered matter-of-factly. “We don’t have time for arguments.”

She cringed. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“To be clear, I’m not blaming you for what happened earlier. I told him that we understand that he’s angry, but he’s stuck with us whether he likes it or not. Picking fights with you isn’t going to solve any of that.”

“I don’t want to fight with him,” she confessed. “I don’t want to fight with anyone.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know if I can work with someone who hates me. It was so easy to get along with you and Jenny.”

“Oh, honey, I really don’t think he hates you.”

“Did you forget the part where he ignored me, then got into an argument with me, then didn’t speak for the rest of the day?”

“I think he’s angry and conflicted, but I don’t think he hates you. If he hated you, he wouldn’t have shown up today.”

“He doesn’t have a choice about not showing up - he needs a job.”

“My point is that I don’t think you’re the problem here. Just a few days ago he was willing to help you for no reason. If his first impression of you was that bad, he wouldn’t have done that.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “He didn’t know me then and I practically had to beg him to help me.”

“He still doesn’t know you, technically,” Holly pointed out. “You’ve only spent eight hours together and most of it was in silence.”

“Yeah, but he knows that I ruined his life and that’s a great reason to hate someone.”

“He’ll come around. You’re a very likeable person.”

“I doubt it,” Anna mumbled.

“Keep your chin up,” Holly said. “Everything is going to be fine. We have a new venue, the problem with the invitations was caught with time to spare, and you’re going on a date with Darren. By the end of this week, you may be the happiest girl on the planet.”

She exhaled. “You’re right. Everything is going to be fine.”

“See? You just have to stay positive. Now let’s wrap things up, it’s been a long day,” Holly directed, scribbling down some information on a post-it note. “Oh, and don’t forget that tomorrow’s Tuesday. It’s just going to be you and Kristoff all day.”

And just like that, the tiny bit of hope that had started to brew inside of her popped like a bubble pressed up against a thorn.

Of course, the following morning started off less than smoothly. Her alarm didn’t go off, so she woke up late and got a late start to the day, which meant she’d have to forego looking halfway decent in order to make it in on time - no makeup and a messy bun, it was. She ran around her cabin, gathering her belongings and trying to make sure that she’d have everything she would need for the day before jetting off, hoping that it wasn’t some sort of bad omen.

By the time she actually made it to work, Kristoff was leaning up against the wall outside of the office, his arms crossed over his chest and a pinched expression on his face.

“I’m sorry for keeping you waiting,” she said breathlessly, as she fumbled through her purse for the keys to the office. “I’m usually early.”

“It’s okay.”

He didn’t really seem to care, but she continued to explain herself nonetheless. “Holly doesn’t work on Tuesdays or Thursdays, and this is my first time here without her or Jenny. I’ve never had to use my keys before.”

“Oh.”

She finally managed to find the keys in her mess of a bag, promptly unlocked the door and pushed it open before stepping aside and holding out her arm. “After you.”

“Thanks,” he said skeptically, walking into the dark office.

Anna flipped the lights on before closing the door behind her. “Holly left a note on your desk with your email and temporary password. You can log on and change the password and we’ll cc you in our emails.”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to run downstairs and grab a cup of coffee,” she said, deciding to be nice at the last possible second. “Do you want anything?”

Her offer actually invoked a reaction from him for the first time that day - he definitely seemed a bit startled by it. “Um...no thanks.”

“Alright. I’ll be right back.”

She made a mad dash for the coffee shop on the first floor, grateful that there was no line. The last thing she needed was to look like she was intentionally trying to avoid him or slacking or doing some other negative thing that he could run to Bonnie with in an attempt to get her into trouble. As soon as the cup was in her hands, she returned to the office, where Kristoff seemed to be patiently waiting for further instruction.

She cleared her throat and set the cup down on her desk. “So, you finished stuffing all of the envelopes yesterday, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, Holly had the location cards printed out overnight,” she said, grabbing the large stack of papers from the printer. “You’ll just have to cut them into the appropriate size and then stuff them into the envelopes.”

“I have to cut all of these by hand?” he whined, his face falling.

“We have a g*illotine,” she assured him, trying to remain calm. “It’ll make the process a lot easier.”

“You have a what?”

His reaction made her giggle. “Oh, sorry. Holly and I call it a g*illotine. I don’t know what the actual name of it is, but it’s basically an industrial paper cutter. I’ll get it for you.”

The g*illotine was stored in the closet, so she walked over and retrieved the heavy tool, staying weary of the bl*de. She placed it on his desk with a thud.

“Now I see why you call it a g*illotine.”

“Right?! Okay, so you may have to stand up to do this - I know I do,” she said, picking up a few of the papers. When he stood up, she demonstrated. “So basically, you slide the paper under the little guard and then you line it up with the grid to make sure it’s straight. Then, you just pull the bl*de down and voila, you have a bunch of cut up papers with minimal effort.”

“Seems easy enough.”

“Just make sure that you hold the paper against the grid while you’re cutting or they’ll come out crooked. And be careful - we can always print out more of the location cards, but we can’t replace your fingers so easily.”

He let out an amused snort. “Okay.”

She smiled to herself as she sat down at her desk, grateful that it seemed to be going much better than the previous day; they were getting along for the time being and there was no hostility or tension. They both worked quietly, and though Anna missed the constant chatting like when Holly was around, she had no idea what she could possibly talk to Kristoff about. So, the sound of the bl*de scraping against the side of the g*illotine and her typing were the primary sounds that filled the otherwise silent space.

The day went by at a snail pace, but when five o’clock finally came and they’d managed to survive the day without an argument, she admittedly felt quite triumphant. She looked forward to updating Holly about how the day had gone, especially since Holly had insisted that she stay positive.

“Have a nice day,” she said, as he was pulling on his coat. “See you tomorrow.”

“You too,” he replied, offering her a half-smile.

I can do this, she thought to herself as she watched him leave. If it stays like this for the next five months, I can do this.

[purplesurveys]

748

Do you have a grandparent, who refuses to go to an old folk's home? In the first place, sending your elderly to a nursing home is not a part of our culture and is majorly looked down upon because children here are expected to take care of their parents; we’re a super super family-centered culture and adult children will take in their elderly parents into their homes to care for them until they pass. We only have a couple of nursing homes in Manila and as far as I know, none in the provinces because of this. I hate the idea of sending any of my grandparents to a nursing home. Have you ever made an article of clothing yourself? If so, what was it? No. One of our final project in 6th grade home ec was to make an apron but like I said in previous surveys, I didn’t turn in a single project for that class. Do you go to arcades? If so, what's your go-to game at one? Yes, we usually go when we’re feeling stressed and just want an hour of fun. I always run to the basketball games first. Sometimes I’ll wanna do the piano tiles too. When it comes to friends, what's the biggest thing you have in common? We’re all journalism majors haha. Most people in my circle now hail from my org and I’m glad I decided to join one and that I ditched my dumb orgs-are-useless mindset from freshie year. If you had to study something for the next year, what would you study? Law. I was planning to take admission exams for law schools anyway by 2021.

If you were a fantasy character, would you be a warrior, a mage or a rogue? I don’t know, this is my least favorite genre and I don’t have a clue what any of these mean in fantasy world terms lol. Do you ever experience heart burn? I had this once and I vividly remember it because it was such an awful experience, and it was after eating a Double Down from KFC. I vowed to never have a Double Down again after that evening, and I don’t think I’ve broken that vow since hahaha. Do you own an army shirt? I don’t. What tempts you frequently? Surveys serve as an escape from when I have a task that I’m trying to avoid and is giving me immense anxiety, i.e. thesis, and tbh it’s been working wonders. Isn't it cute when gay couples show affection to each other in public? Yeah but just like with any other couples, too much PDA can be annoying too. But in general I do like seeing gay couples being affectionate in public more; it makes me feel we aren’t alone. What's something that will always distract you from what you're doing? Notifications from Gab. I still get butterflies after six years and want to reply as fast as I can, heh. Who is the most wonderful, amazing person in your life right now? ^ She is. Do you enjoy handling coins? I don’t really mind it. I have a tendency to gather so much change until my wallet becomes fat and a bitch to close, so there’ve been many times that I’ve had to spill out all my coins on the table or floor and count them all to see how much I have. When's the last time you had an alcoholic beverage? What was it? It was a month ago, eugh. Peach soju. What's your favourite Deep Purple song? I don’t have one. What has been the most enjoyable job you've had? I’ll let you know in five years when I’m sure I’ve had more than one job by then. How about the least enjoyable job? Do you get hungry late at night? Sometimes, but I usually have coffee to wash the hunger down. These days my mom is also into making chicken sandwich spread so there’ll be a tub of that in the fridge. Do you carry a backpack, a shoulder bag or a purse? Depends on where I’m going or how much I have to do. Sample scenarios would be if Gab and I are only going out for dinner I bring my purse; if I plan on studying at a coffee shop for a few hours I’ll bring a shoulder bag for my laptop, but if I have a full day at school I’ll obviously bring my whole backpack. That’s why I really find it convenient having a car cause then I can just bring all those bags whenever I wanna do all three of those in a single day hah. What's something attractive in a member of your own gender? Our strength. What's something repulsive in a member of your own gender? Some women will still be very judgmental and shame others who get abortions and I don’t understand it. Do your pets sleep next to you at night? No. Kimi prefers the floor because it’s colder. I’ve tried placing him on my bed a thousand times but he just jumps off after a few minutes of being restless on it. What's the farthest country you've met someone from? I’ve had online friends from all over the US and back in my Kristen Stewart phase days most of my friends were from South America like Brazil, Colombia, and Peru. Have you ever taped your face? I don’t think so. What's something revolutionary you've done? I dunno if it counts but the day they announced that Ferdinand Marcos’ body was going to transferred to Heroes’ Cemetery there was an incredibly quick mobilization organized both in UP and Ateneo. So many students and professors came to the protest all angry, all betrayed, all wanting to march the highway to show our outrage, and so we did. It was awesome to see a bunch of other drivers angrily honking their horns too to show their solidarity with us. It was big enough for media outlets to have to use their drones to capture the crowd and for the event to land on national news, and I don’t regret skipping out on it. Who is your favourite movie villain? She was technically a book villain, but Annie Wilkes was portrayed flawlessly by Kathy Bates in Misery. What's your favourite flavour of mousse? Just chocolate. I don’t know if I’ve had other flavors of it, actually. I don’t really have mousse much. What about your favourite flavour of cheesecake? Just your classic New York-style cheesecake with no toppings, oreo, and ube. Do you prefer fruit or berries? Neither. Have you ever kept a food diary? Nope. Have you ever calculated whether you get enough minerals and vitamins in your diet? I haven’t. How often do you use online dictionaries? I’d say I check a word at least once a day.  Are you good at planning your time usage? You mean time management? I’m good at it when it’s urgent, like when I have a bunch of tasks that I need to accomplish ASAP. I’m a bit loose with myself if my sched is a little relaxed. Long story short, I know when to discipline myself when it’s necessary at the very least. When's the last time you had to carefully plan how you use your time? December 2019. It was the end of the semester and it’s usually when all the requirements pile up on my to-do list and it’s when I take my time management the most seriously. I haven’t deleted my alarms from that period, so this is basically what a hectic study day would look like for me near the end of the sem hahaha:

[storms-dnd-archive]

My Top Fav Starkid Shows

Since I just watched Black Friday’s digital release now seems as good a time as any to rank my favorite musicals from Starkid.  I in no way think you should find these to be your favorites, they're just mine.  I’m gonna rank them in ascending order and explain a little why I chose that spot.  Please share with me your top lists as well!  Also, please be my friend and talk to me about musicals. 

12. Ani: A parody - I am sorry if I offend anyone, but I did not enjoy Ani very much. I did like how it seemed like a sports movie, and I didnt hate it. There were some funny moments. But on the whole, was just not a huge fan of this one. 

11. A Very Potter Senior Year - I know the quality is lower because they didnt have the same sort of time or resources to make it as nice as the other shows, but I think that warrants to be lower on the list. Also, the songs were not as memorable and the plot felt like it was forced a little. Still enjoyable, just to many issues to be higher on the list. 

10. Holy Musical, B@tman! - First, Lego Batman totally took inspiration from HMB, I can feel it in my bones.  So, I liked this musical, but there are not as many really strong songs that I catch myself remembering or wanting to sing along to. It's a cute story and I really like this one, it's just a little lower in quality for me.  Dark, Sad, Lonely Knight

9. Black Friday - This could possibly go up once I’ve seen it a few more times. I liked it, but the songs were not my favorite and as a story, it seems like it would have worked better as a play than a musical. But, maybe once the YouTube version drops I’ll feel differently.  I have spoiler opinions as well for the show, about what I super liked. But that will have to go on its own post.  Also, this has got to be the saddest show in the bunch. Like oof-a-rooni. I has the sad.  - cant name fav song, but Dylan Saunders ya’ll - 

8. Me and My Dick - Like A Very Potter Musical, this one is a classic for me. I watched it a lot when I was younger. I think it is incredibly funny and the plot is so off the wall surreal that a musical was literally the best choice medium it could have gone.  This spot is mostly nostalgic for me.  Ready to Go!

Bonus Tin Can Brothers: Spies Are Forever - Not the same group so technically should not be on the list at all, but it has enough of the same actors and people working on it that I think there is value in adding to the list.  I really liked this show at all. The songs were ok, but like Black Friday I think it would have worked better without being a musical. Still keep the opening song but perhaps it be a play the rest of the time.  The plot and story for this show are really great, the plot twist is amazing, and Curt Mega being a gay spy during a time during the Purple Scare is really something. (Check out Silvana LTD. on Youtube for a more comprehensive look on how brilliant this is.) Overall great show and I hope the Tin Can Brothers make more shows. 

7. Trail to Oregon - With some really great songs and one of the funniest shows in the lineup, there is so much to lobe about Trail to Oregon. It may not be the most dramatic plot or best songs, but because of how funny and enjoyable it is, it deserves a high spot. Basically, just a lot of fun. You Gotta Go - or - Pays to be an Animal

6. Firebringer - LESBIANS! -cough- So, this musical is great. It has a really nice polished feel that I think shows how far Starkid has come from its humble origins. It's also an original story and not a parody of anything, and that in its own right I think deserves a high spot on the list. Because it shows Starkid are not one-hit parody wonders. I think there is a lot to love about this one, with the lovable characters, political commentary, and really awesome visual effects.  Also, “I don't want to do the work today!” Into the Night!

5. A Very Potter Sequel - A really solid sequel. In its own right has a great plot while still tying to the first show's plot really nicely. Characterization is still great and all the new characters are very enjoyable. There are some great songs. Overall, it really pairs nicely with the original.  Harry Freakin Potter - or - Guy’s Like Potter

4. A Very Potter Musical - The OG, a Classic. Forever timeless. Where it all began and without we would have none of the other shows on this list. I wish more people or studios would put musicals online. Original, parody, or otherwise. There is such a strong need for creativity and fun musical entertainment. More people should take a chance. But anyways, such good music. Almost every song is a bop. The characters are hilarious and the plot is amazing.  I could go on but anyone bothering to read this post knows how good AVPM is. Granger Danger!

3. Twisted - I cried! This show is so well done. The blending of Wicked and Aladdin is so well done that you wish more villans would get this treatment. I would love to explore more stories in this manner. Not being a villain apologist but changing the story a bit and seeing a story from the perspective of someone everyone sees as a villain. Gosh, I love that concept.  This musical is great and I have very little critiques for it. Also, Dylan Saunders. If I believed in Wishes!

2. Starship - This originally would have been my absolute favorite and has been for a long time. But TGWDLM is just so catchy and the quality is so nice. Starship has better quality songs if comparing the two. The songs are really what make this, where almost every number is perfect and lends to the plot in the most cohesive way of all the Starkid shows. Also, a parody of Starship Trooper and the Littel Mermaid, sign me the fuck up. That is so original!  I love all the characters immensely and think that the character arcs are perhaps the best here than in any of the other shows. Overall, one of the best Starkid has done and I am always surprised it does not get more love from the community.  Also, the puppets are so great ya’ll! The puppets! Ok so my favorite song is Kick it Up a Notch, and it's my favorite villain song and possibly musical song, period. It is so jazzy and cool and catchy, I sing it all the time. Dylan Saunders has an amazing voice and this song highlights it in all the best ways. Also, Pincer looks amazing.  God, I love Starship. 

1. The Guy Who Didnt Like Musicals - Number 1! So, I gushed so much about Starship, how could any musical top it? Well, that's what I thought too until I watched TGWDLM a few times. While being a parody, on musicals as a whole and old SciFi, it is a fairly original plot. The acting here is some of the more natural feeling and better acted acting in all of the shows. It could practically be a movie (and I've seen so many requests that it become a movie, like please please become a movie!) The songs are perfect and have an emotional punch with each placement. None of them feel out of place and the ones that do feel that way with purpose since the Apotheosis is unnatural. The plot is just amazing, with perfect timing on emotional impact and moving purpose. The characters feel real and have good arcs. And although it ends rather bleakly, the twist ending actually lends to how unique and awesome of a musical it is. (Giving me strong Little Shop of Horrors vibes.) Overall, this is a musical I have watched several several times and recommended to a lot of people. It is really great and I will be the first person backing any Kickstarter or call to action that a movie would need to be made.  Best Song, besides all of them? La De Da De Day - or - Join Us (and Die)

[ryuukenden4]

Do What Makes You Happy

(Okay fair warning, this is a very long post with some seriously personal stuff in it.)

I know I don't usually open up on here, but I think it's time I finally do it to get it off my chest. This has been a topic I often find myself thinking about. It usually makes me feel really shitty when I do, but I don't ever talk about it with anyone. I think I need to let all of my thoughts air, even if no one listens.

This post is about "cringe culture." Basically, judging someone for something they love. Not criticizing or internally judging, but shaming. This is a topic that sits badly with me on both ends of the spectrum. I both have judged people and been judged, and both sides feel bad.

Let's start off with why I'm even making this post. I've thought for a long time about myself and the stuff I enjoy. I know it isn't normal, and I know a lot of people in my age group can't relate. I love anime, it's been an outlet for me and my weird fantasies (like dragons and swords, not the other kind) for almost 10 years now. Video games are some of my lifeblood even though I guess gamer girls don't exist?? I immensely love making characters, fan and original. Fictional characters are my cornerstones where real people (usually) tend to fall flat. Let me elaborate.

Anime has helped me cope with many difficult things over the years. It helps me connect with family and friends. It gives me a creative outlet for not just drawing and writing, but thinking. Even cliché anime always make me see the world in new ways, and I love it for that. It's helped me develop myself and my style for such a long time that I can't imagine being parted from it any time soon.

From anime especially comes my love of fictional characters. I have always loved them (my first favorite characters were Jim Hawkins and Bilbo Baggins, and I'll never forget that fact about myself), but that love became intensified as I grew older. I don't necessarily see myself in them, but I enjoy getting to know them. It's almost a personal connection with the characters. My favorites are almost always established from their introductions because something with them and me just...clicks. Even if I have no clue who or what they are, there is something there I feel. Like they're an old friend or something. They make me feel not alone, as strange as that sounds. Like for instance, take Mirio, my current muse on here. His sunshiney personality and goofy nature brighten my day. His selfless nature and general goodness make me strive to be a better person. As soon as he was introduced, I knew he was gonna be one of my favorites, I could just tell. He feels like a friend to me, and I really feel a connection with him.

Moving from characters, video games have allowed me to explore new worlds and escape the mundanenss of our own. I'm not trying to sound deep, but having a way to escape this life for a little while is nice. The interactiveness of video games is so wonderful, and it really feels like I'm shedding myself and becoming someone else for a spell. I especially love games that either have an awesome protags who is loveable and you root for them, or ones that you create your own character and save the world.

Which brings me to my last and most sensitive topic; my characters. I have made characters since I was able to. From my warrior cats to my anime side characters all the way up to my completely original ones, my characters have always had an influence on me. Rarely do I make self-inserts, but when I do they are versions of me I wish I was. (My first warrior cat was pretty much me as a cat, I'll admit. And my first anime OC was also loosely based off me.) But I have come so far with them from what I used to do. Now my characters all have their own lives and I'm just telling their stories. Yes this sounds cheesy, but I hear that this is what makes a good character. When you sit down and "chat" with them and they are separate from you. I don't want to say none of my recent characters are like me, because obviously new characters are still forming from MY brain, but I do my best to develop them like functional, separate people and not fictional versions of me. And yes, often I do end up shipping my characters with other characters (my own or canon), but I never make it about me. It's about two fictional characters that are fun to imagine going to see a horror movie or taking a walk or cuddling under the stars.

As much as I love all of this, I'm terrified to talk about my interests with others. This post has been extremely hard to write so far, but I'm forcing myself to do it so I can finally be at peace with my negative thoughts. I find it hard to talk with others for fear of being labeled "weird" or "cringey." And it's not even that I mind their comments, I mind and worry about what they DON'T say. I always get nervous talking about stuff with people because I worry they're silently judging me. And sure, I understand what I do isn't everyone's cup of tea (nor do I expect that literally at all, especially shipping OCs and canon characters). I just worry it actually affects how people view ME as a person from what I like. That's why I hide my interests in my pysche, I try to avoid making others uncomfortable with me, even if I feel uncomfortable hiding myself. It all stems from my lack of self-confidence and fear of being hated. Judging and being judged are very stressful things to undergo, especially for someone not happy with who they are 90% of the time.

I mentioned earlier I've experienced both ends of this. So let me discuss. I had a very judgmental mindset of people for a long time based upon what they liked. I judged people hardcore for liking things that were ridiculous to me. I never said it to them, but my thoughts were mean and malicious. Looking back on myself for that, I find it disgusting, and I'll be the first to say I was wrong. I honestly think my spitefulness stemmed from my own bad experiences I'll describe later. What people like doesn't usually harm me in anyway, and so what makes me the one who dissuades them from doing what they love? I am a devout Christian, and one of my life-changing takeaways from those experiences was to step back and let God be the judge. My judgment ultimately means nothing to someone's life, and so they should be allowed to do as they please and God can decide if it's wrong or right at the end. Again I say, if it makes you happy, DO IT.

On the other end, I have been ridiculed for what I like. It's been little things like disparaging comments from family members or even anon hate (old Tumblr accounts now deactivated). I still remember my worst experience was on a platform called Flipnote Hatena. Basically, you drew little animations, often to music, flipbook-style on your DSi and posted them for others to see. I made a Flipnote for my Spyro fan character (very much a self insert...I was like 10) and Spyro to the song "Listen to Your Heart." I was so proud of my work, and it was my best yet. I posted it, not expecting much, as my stuff wasn't very popular. Then I got a notification for a comment. I was so happy to see what someone said, praising my art. Turns out it was another user telling me I was wrong for shipping my dragon and Spyro because he only loved HER character. She peppered in death threats and told me to kill myself. She proceeded to make Flipnotes about wanting to fight and kill my main avatar (my warrior cat at this point) to prove she deserved Spyro. Obviously I was distraught. I just wanted to share my love for Spyro and what I thought was my best animation, and I got told to die and threatened to be killed all for what I enjoyed doing. I know nothing would have come of it in hindsight, but being a 10 year old, that really scarred me. I caved and deleted my Flipnotes with said characters and never posted them again. I let that person win, and erased a portion of myself from my heart.

This is the event that usually makes me question if what I'm doing is "okay." I get bouts of negative thoughts toward myself and my "weirdness." I find myself wanting to delete all my characters and writings and everything. I tell myself what I'm doing is wrong, and it would make so many people angry and mean if I posted it. And then I tell myself I don't NEED to post it to be happy. I don't need validation on my stuff. I don't need fans of my characters or for people to ship my couples. I just need someone to affirm I'm okay, that I'm not wrong. I need someone to tell me "if it makes you happy, do it." I need to be reminded I'm also a person with feelings that matter. I'm uncomfortable deleting all of my hard work. I'm angry for deleting that character I put hours of research and thought into. I'm mean when I think of someone being so bothered by what a stranger does that they have to verbally abuse them for it. That's why I'm extending that for anyone listening. If you need to hear this, you are valid. If it makes you happy, please do it. Know that someone out there is rooting for you. I am 100% behind you.

That old show you watched with your middle school best friend? Watch it and relive some great memories! That cute idea you have for a scenario between your Naruto OC and Kakashi? Draw it, it's probably super cute! That idea for a for a story based solely upon platonic love and not romantic? Hell yeah, we need more of that content!

Basically, do whatever makes you you. True happiness seems like it's becoming hard to find nowadays, so if you find it, hold onto it. Never change for what you expect people want from you, and that doesn't just extend to hobbies. Be your awesome self. One day, someone will come along who loves what you do too, or will love you for being you. :)

Do what makes you happy.

[car-karaoke]

Popcorn

This is an idea that I haven't been able to get out of my head for the last few months, so I decided to finally put pen to paper (metaphorically speaking). This wasn't a request, and I try to finish those first, so this one has kind of been on the back burner for awhile. Hopefully you guys enjoy it as much as I did!

Warnings: s m u t, fluffy Alex, language

Pairings: Alex H x Reader

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I really need to get myself a floor length mirror so I can just sit on the floor to do this...you thought to yourself as you sat precariously on top of your cramped bathroom counter trying to apply your makeup. You were trying to do a simple cat eye look and, as usual, one eye looked perfect and the other looked like you applied it drunk and half blind. "Fuck" you muttered to yourself as it smudged yet again. Why did this have to be so difficult tonight of all nights? You were meeting up with Alex and Ida for a movie. You had met them on the set of Vikings. You were merely an extra with no acting experience, your character was so non-important that her name was literally 'Extra 54'. They just needed bodies for a battle scene. But you had bumped into Ida by chance and made quick friends with her and she introduced you to the rest of the cast

Ida was so unbelievably sweet it was hard not to love her. Your adoration for her just barely outweighed the secondary feeling of immense jealousy of wanting to look like her. I mean, she was gorgeous. Anyone with eyes could see that. It would be easy to hate her if she was a bitch, but she's not in the slightest. You tried very hard not to be envious of her, but a decade worth of self loathing was working against you. Still, she was one of your closest friends and she had introduced you to Alex and Marco, who ended up being your other really good friends

For the first few times hanging out with Alex, you tried denying the inevitable feelings you had for him. Like Ida, he was crazy handsome and super charismatic; causing basically everyone to fall in love with him. At this point, you hard to literally swallow your feelings for him every time you saw him. You had to physically stop yourself from touching him. It had become so much of a nuisance that lately, you had tried avoiding him. Things were never going to happen between you two, so why torture yourself? When Alex sent a group text to you, Marco and Ida about going to a movie, you decided it would probably be safe since you wouldn't be alone with him. Marco had plans, but you and Ida said yes

You finally (after much more cursing and a few shots of whiskey) managed to make your eye makeup nearly match. You hopped off the counter and checked your phone for the time. You had about 10 minutes before Alex was supposed to pick you up. You put on some shorts and one of your favorite blouses. It was very flattering of your figure and showed some cleavage, but not a ton. It was a top that made you feel the rare feeling of confidence. You spritzed yourself with perfume and then your phone buzzed. He was here. Alright, you got this Y/N. Just have fun, it is just a fun time at the movies with your friends

You walked down the stairs of your apartment building and went outside to see Alex's car. You walked over to it and opened the passenger side door. You senses were immediately intrigued by the scent of his amazing cologne hitting your nose. "You smell nice!" You pointed out, reaching over and giving him a quick half hug. He grinned at you, blushing lightly

"Thank you! You look nice" he said, looking at your outfit. You shuffled a little in your seat, fidgeting with your shorts before buckling

"So..." you started, looking straight forward and trying not to concentrate on how fucking delicious he looked and smelled. "Are we swinging by Ida's place? I figured you would've picked her up first"

Alex looked slightly embarassed you noticed. "Uhh yeah about that...she cancelled on us..." he glanced over at you to gauge your reaction. You looked confusedly at him. "Yeah she called like half an hour ago and said she was throwing up but that she wanted us to 'go have fun'" he said with air quotations. Your cheeks immediately felt hot. FUCK. Just you and him alone at a movie? Like a date? Oh god damn it. You weren't sure you could get through this in one piece

"I totally understand if you dont want to go now that Ida isn't coming" you blurted out. Alex furrowed his eyebrows at you

"Why would I not want to go just because she's not coming?" He asked seriously. Oh god, did you just give yourself away?

"Well...I just know you're closer with her than you are with me probably and...I dont know..." you stammered, not even looking at him

"You don't know?" He repeated, looking at you with a clenched jaw

"I just...I dunno....I kind of figured you guys like...I dont know...had a thing for each other" you admitted while blushing madly. Alex let out a sharp breath followed by an amused laugh

"Me and Ida?" He laughed again, rubbing his face with both hands. You nodded sheepishly. "No. We're not. Aren't you close with her? I would think she would tell you if she had a thing for me"

"She said there's nothing between you guys yeah. But I didnt know if maybe she was just saying that because she knows how I feel about--" you cut yourself off, mortified that you almost said it. Alex's face, on the other hand, lit up with interest

"Knows how you feel about what??" He pressed excitedly

"No! I'm not telling you Alex! No fucking way!!" You groaned, desperate for him to let it go. But he wouldn't, you knew that

"How you feel about me?" He questioned quietly, his face soft. Your could tell your cheeks were getting redder by the second. You just groaned and buried your face in your hands as Alex started laughing lightly, reaching out a hand to put on your shoulder. "Did I guess right?"

You peeked up between your fingers like a little kid and started laughing at his expression. "Yes, asshole you did" his smile grew even bigger until he bit his bottom lip. "I totally get it if you dont feel the same, we dont have to go to this movie or anything. If you want, I can stop hanging around you guys..." you were interrupted by his lips pressing against yours suddenly. You gasped when his lips hit yours. Holy shit, were you imagining this? He pulled his head back to look at you

"I want to go to this movie with you Y/N. Not as just a friend. I want to take you as my date. I've been sitting over here crushing on you since the first day Ida introduced us" he admitted, hand still cupping your face sweetly. You shook your head in disbelief. No way this was actually happening. "When she said she wasn't coming, I got so fucking excited" he giggled. "I knew immediately that I was going to make my move on you" he said as he stroked your skin

You leaned forward to kiss him again, which he accepted gladly, using both hands this time. You broke apart for air eventually, both of you breathing heavy. "Alright anyways!! Let's go to this movie!" You laughed

"You got it dear" he grinned, putting the car in drive and heading out.

You arrived at the theater with a little time to spare. Alex got out of the car first and walked over to you and immediately grabbed your hand before walking towards the entrance. You looked down at your intertwined hands and smiled. He noticed that and squeezed your hand smiling along with you. "Get used to it, I'm not afraid to show some PDA" he laughed

"I'm not either" you squeezed his hand back as he made a satisfied face before holding the door open for you. You led him inside and made your way to the ticket booth. Before you could even say anything, he pulled out his wallet and bought two tickets before returning to you with a smirk and handing you one

"I got us seats in one of those suite things!" He said excitedly. You knew what he was talking about since you'd done that a few times. They were separate areas where the customers got to be separated from the rest of the theater. Your mind immediately raced to the dirty thoughts that had been trying to escape since you met him. You could probably get away with some of that in there....you wondered if he was thinking the same thing...

Alex asked if you wanted some popcorn to which you agreed. He led you to the food counter, still holding your hand. "Ooo! We need these!" He said enthusiastically as he grabbed two boxes of candy. You giggled. What an adorable little man child you thought to yourself. He purchased the food and drinks and you guys headed to your little secluded area in the theater. You were thankful to see that the chairs in there were like the others, connected with armrests that you could move out of the way. Alex sat down in one of the chairs, situating the drinks, candy and popcorn strategically around you both

"Wont be needing this thing" Alex gestured to the armrest. "We've been waiting too long to cuddle each other" he moved it out of the way as you silently agreed, nodding your head quickly with eager eyes. "C'mere lovely" he gestured to you, arm out waiting to put it around you. You happily leaned in, snuggling against his side and inhaling his scent again

"You smell so fucking good" you giggled, nuzzling your head into his chest. He laughed heartily, his hand immediately sliding under your shirt to rub your back

"Thanks baby, you do too" he smiled, then you felt his body tense up. "Are you okay if I call you stuff like that?" He asked suddenly. "I can stop, I didnt even think about that, it just sort of slipped out...I'm just really fucking excited this is happening" he stuttered. You immediately looked up at him reassuringly

"I am too! I'm completely fine with you calling me things like that, it's fucking adorable" you smiled pushing your head up to kiss his cheek. He smiled lovingly at you before pulling your head back to kiss your lips. Both of you were smiling into the kiss, little satisfied noises escaping your lips. You carefully let your tongue poke out slightly to trace his bottom lip. Alex responded immediately by moaning quietly and letting his tongue slip into your mouth. Alex's hands were already hungrily roaming around your body, while yours were doing the same. You still couldn't believe this was happening, so you wanted to touch as much of him as you possibly could before you woke up from this dream

You felt his hand tentatively brush along your ass, as if he was waiting to see what your reaction was. When you bit down on his lip softly in response, he all but growled and squeezed your cheeks hard. You had to stop yourself from straight up straddling him right there and instead let your hand drift under his shirt and started tracing patterns along his hips with your nails softly. He moaned very audibly. You smirked in the darkness, knowing you had this affect on him. Just as you were about to plunge your hand deeper down his jeans, the movie started with an extremely loud intro, causing both of you to jump in your seats and snap out of the little world you were in

Your heart was racing from being startled in such a moment, you had instinctively squeezed your arms around Alex's torso and hid your face when the noise hit your ears. Alex just so happened to straighten up immediately and shield your body with his, wrapping his arms around you protectively. When he realized it was just the movie, he burst out laughing. You loosened your grip around him and peeked out, looking at the movie screen in betrayal

"What the HELL?!" you half yelled half laughed. Alex continued laughing as he mumbled something in Danish

"Scared the shit out of me" he laughed, rubbing your back soothingly. "I was prepared to beat some guy down!"

You laughed along with him, relaxing your body and leaning back into him, just more innocently this time. "So protective, I like it" you giggled. Alex smirked down at you, grabbing your hand and bringing it to his lips for a kiss

"M'lady" he said in a sultry voice. You pressed your lips together in a smile and thanked him. The movie actually was pretty interesting, both you and Alex were pretty into it. He kept his arm around you the entire time, snacking on the popcorn and candy with his free hand. He liked to feed you little bits of popcorn playfully while making a comment on the movie. Everything was going wonderfully and you were both managing to keep things fairly innocent until the female lead in the movie started making out with the male lead in the shower. Your mind immediately went straight to the gutter as you pictured that being the both of you. Please don't show them having sex, I'm gunna freak the fuck out you thought to yourself. As if on cue, the couple started doing exactly that. You had been mindlessly tracing Alex's arm with your hand before this scene, and you just now realized you had stopped

Alex was trying to hide the smirk on his face. He had certainly noticed. He leaned down to your ear and whispered lowly to you. "Is something distracting you love?"

You tried to feign innocence and looked up at him with your most convincing 'normal' face. "Shower sex can be such a hassle sometimes" you blurted out. He grinned at you and nodded his head in agreement

"It can be yeah, but not if you're with someone who knows what they're doing. And if you've got a big enough shower" he added. Your cheeks grew hot. The actors were moaning and had just made their way over to a bed and just continued on from there. Your eyes were glued to the screen. Alex's eyes were glued to you. You crossed your legs to try and relieve some of the tension growing there. The movie was insinuating that the guy had just started going down on his woman. You felt your core literally tighten as you took a shaky breath in. Alex didnt miss a beat

"I fucking love doing that" he whispered in your ear, causing you to whimper ever so softly. He hummed in your ear and gently bit your earlobe. "I wanna do that to you so fucking bad..." he trailed on, a smirk plastered on his face. His hand trailed down to your crossed legs, letting it wander painfully slow in between your legs that you just uncrossed for him. You felt his breath on your ear again. "If I were to stick my hand down your shorts right now, how wet would you be smukke?"

"Soooo unbelievably wet" you moaned, unable to help yourself. Alex hummed pleasantly

"Good" he said simply before plunging his hand down there without warning. You weren't lying, you were already so wet for him. His fingers slid up and down your slick folds with ease before he circled around your clit with angel-like softness. "Fuck..." he muttered darkly, pushing your head to the side with his nose and immediately biting down on your neck. You groaned in pleasure, hand instinctively going to his crotch. You could feel his massive erection through his jeans

"Seems I'm not the only one excit--" you gasped as he plunged two fingers inside of you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head. His fingers felt so impossibly good inside of you

"What were you saying?" He asked cheekily. You just laughed in response, eyes closed as you unzipped his pants and freed his cock. You tilted you head to the side and opened your eyes. God that thing was going to fill you to the brim. You started stroking it, earning another moan from Alex, who had temporarily stopped finger fucking you to roll his head back in pleasure. You quickly glanced around to check if anyone was looking. Nope, you guys were clear. You continued pumping him as he got closer and closer to the edge. He had continued fingering you as well, causing you to nearly climax before pulling his fingers out of you

"Hey!" You huffed in frustration as he shifted in his seat. He just smirked and propped himself up, leaning over to kiss you

"Hush my sweet one, I need to do something" he looked at you with mischievous eyes. God he looked and sounded EXACTLY like Ivar at that moment, turning you on even more. But what the hell was he doing? Oh god...

Alex glanced around him quickly then kneeled down in front of your lap. He wasn't going to....yup. He was. He slowly pulled your shorts and panties down while looking directly at you. He gently pushed your legs open with his calloused hands. You swear you could see his eyes turning darker as he took you in. "Gods you're beautiful..." he murmured before kissing your inner thigh. You couldn't form words, all you could do was stare at him hungrily. His long fingers reached towards your core, sliding so easily into your entrance. He looked up at you for your permission, mouth pulling closer to where you wanted him most. "Say it" he ordered softly. You moaned at his voice, biting your lip hard. "No no my love SAY it. I'm not going to do it unless you give me permission" he said slyly, kissing directly above your clit

"Fuck" you breathed out, reaching down to yank on his hair. He groaned happily but didn't close the gap yet. "I want you so bad Alex god damn it. Pleeease" you whispered. That's all he needed. With a satisfied smile, he dove into your pussy, licking a long strip up your folds before circling his tongue around your clit and sucking it into his mouth, fingers slowly moving inside of you. It took everything in you not to cry out in pleasure. That man KNEW what he was doing. Your grip on his hair tightened as you pushed his head closer to you. He moaned against your wet folds, voice vibrating through your skin, causing you to shiver

"You taste...fucking...amazing" he moaned as he kissed all around it. Your legs were already shaking

"Shiiiit Aleeeex" you whimpered, making him speed up his pumps as he went back to sucking your clit. Your vision was cloudy as the pleasure built inside of you. You were so incredibly overstimulated by everything happening right now. The act itself of getting eaten out was usually enough to make you swoon. The fact that it was Alex doing it to you skyrocketed that feeling. The fact that you were getting eaten out by Alex in a fucking theater where anyone could catch you? Altogether almost too much. You felt like you were going to explode. And you did, all over Alex's fingers with an orgasm that was quickly swallowed by his lips

"Ohhh smukke" Alex groaned against your lips as he knelt in front of you. He was holding your head in place by the back of your neck as he kissed you fiercely. You were suddenly very thankful that you were sitting down, because your legs were shaking so bad that if you were standing up, you would've surely fallen over. Alex's other hand slid down your leg and felt the rapid movement, he looked up at you with concern in his eyes. "Baby, are you okay?" He whispered as he rubbed your leg soothingly

You managed a small laugh and nodded quickly. "More than okay" you reassured him. "Alex...that was...amazing" you pulled his head towards yours again and rested your forehead against his. Alex's smile was from ear to ear, looking at you with such adoration

"Wanna get out of here?" He asked you huskily, kissing your cheek, then nose, then forehead then other cheek. You giggled and nodded excitedly. You started getting up before realizing that you were still naked from the waist down and immediately cursed, stumbling back into your seat. Your arm got caught in between the chairs and you both bursted out laughing. Alex, even though he was laughing hysterically, immediately reached out to help you get unstuck. He helped slide your panties back on with an added kiss to each thigh. Then came your shorts. Finally dressed, you got up and snuck out hand in hand with Alex, leaving your popcorn and soda behind. The only evidence to be found was the little wet dab of cum on the seat left behind and your combined giddy laughter as you hurriedly left the theater

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GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!! It was a long time coming and I am very proud of this one! Let me know what you all think and like/reblog if you enjoyed it!! I appreciate you guys so much ❤

@odinsravendutchess @peaceisadirtyword @ivaraddict @ivarlcthbrok @honestsycrets @meleedamage @lisinfleur @grungyblonde @laketaj24 @headedforvalhalla @forvalhallaandodin @dangerousvikings @thevikingsheaux @kissme-hs @ivarthebonelessvk @ivar-theboneless @ivarslittlebadgirl @ivarsshieldmadien @ivarswickedqueen @ivars-heathen-army @therealcalicali @nikky-the-writer @oddsnendsfanfics @angryschnauzer @vikingsbifrost @vikingsstories @vikingdrabbles @ravens-of-kattegat @lisinfleur @ivarsrideordie @justacripple @normatural @tephi101 @whisperer-of-freya

[zukadiary]

Hoshigumi Small Theaters ~ Spring 2019

I am five entire shows behind on reviews and I hate it!!

But I finally make it to Kansai!! I conveniently managed to see these guys on back to back days upstairs and downstairs in the same building. If nothing else I think I am 500% more educated on Hoshigumi after this trip.

Man from Algiers / Estrellas 2.0

Man from Algiers ticks all the National Tour buttons—old, done many times, ambiguous time period (useful for traveling costume recycling, i.e. why not just use the rainbow sports jackets we need for Estrellas anyway!)—and while I’m not surprised that Coto can make just about anything good, I was a bit surprised at how much I enjoyed the show itself (this was the first time I’d seen it at all, which was a blessing as the surprise ending was my favorite part). 

I can definitely envision it in all its original 70s glory, and it made me wonder if they really just wanted to exploit a West Side Story aesthetic’s swoon-inducing abilities and came up with the plot later; the opening looks and choreography were awfully familiar. Am I saying it didn’t work?

No I am not saying that.

(And the resulting prologue number was really cool).

The story, while dated, was simple and easy to follow, and does a great job of making sure you understand each character’s motivation with minimal info (difficult AND clutch for one-acts). There’s a good summary on the wiki, I’m including spoilers not mentioned there.

Team National Tour is definitely the lighter side of the troupe split, especially with regard to upperclassmen, but I thought Algiers was a good fit for this particular arrangement of members, and everyone really nailed their characters. Most notable: 

Julien is a despicable person, and it’s a testament to Coto’s pure heart and brimming talent that she made him a totally valid protagonist, complete with moments that made my heart lurch a little (when his old friends are bullying him in his cute little chauffeur outfit; how quickly he abandons everything to stand by Sabine when everything goes to hell at the end). 

It was very weird first not to see Aichan in Ocean’s and then to see her hanging out with a percentage of Hoshigumi, but this cast needed her. Her Jacques (albeit very reminiscent of her Bernardo) was a good balance for Coto; they both played unsavory people, but Aichan playing bad has kind of a darker streak that suits the more evil friend well, whereas Coto playing bad still has an undercurrent of goodness that gets you fully on board with his journey to reform.

Otoha Minori as Sabine was a good choice not only for her abs in the gold night club bikini dress, but for her maturity, which lended sincerity to Sabine’s fantasy-level selflessness in her concern for Julien and her desire to watch over him. When she shoots Jacques in her dressing room to get him out of the way so he can’t interfere with Julien’s new life, I was so impressed that it read as an act of sacrifice (however excessive and stupid) purely out of love and desire to see Julien continue to grow and succeed, instead of “look at what I did for you, come back to me!”

Asamizu Ryou played Bollinger, the dude who takes Julien in and grooms him for upper-crust success, opposite not just Coto (her senpai) but Shirotae Natsu (her mega-senpai), and she did it with a surprising amount of gravitas. She’s got that face which definitely helps, but she was a little scary and exuded a lot of authority. Shirotae Natsu was hilarious as the extraordinarily airheaded wife, and her interjections may have even been singlehandedly responsible for keeping the pacing of the show brisk and entertaining. 

Sakuraba Mai played the Bollingers’ daughter Elizabeth. She was detestable, but in the way that indicates a great acting job. She’s at that awkward spot where it looks like she’s getting almost heroine weight roles in small theaters and disappearing in grand theaters. I hope they keep pushing her because she’s very strong.

Number one heartbreaker Kozakura Honoka (voice of an angel!) played blind Annabel, daughter of Kumichou/a very influential duchess. She mostly stays inside alone, and then Julien woos her with the intention of climbing the social/political ladder (while developing feelings for Elizabeth and also really never getting over Sabine). Annabel overhears Julien confessing his feelings to Elizabeth and asks her attendant Andre (Kiwami Shin, in love with Annabel) to let her kill herself. Honoka apparently put an immense amount of time and research into acting blind and it showed. 

Fellow American Sayaka Rin had probably the most lines she’s had yet, in a role formerly held by both Takashio Tomoe and Hyuuga Kaoru <3 

My personal MVPs of this show were Shidou Ryuu and Kiwami Shin, Shidou not even for doing anything particularly spectacular, but just just for having grown so much since I first became aware of her existence via the Koumori shinko 3+ years ago. She’s always going to be on the cute side rather than the devastating side IMO, but she’s developed enough confidence and control in her acting that she’s become a really lovable best friend/brother type; her character’s relationship with Julien and secret-but-obvious admiration of his far superior coolness was really adorable. Andre (Shin) isn’t a super juicy role until the very end, but the way Shin did Andre’s quiet breakdown when Annabel was explaining she didn’t want to live anymore, and then her poise when Andre came out of nowhere and shot Julien just as he and Sabine were trying to run away from shooting Jacques (?!??!) was like, my jaw actually dropped. Granted she’s still super young, but Shin isn’t someone who has thus far impressed me proportionately to the amount they’re pushing her, so this mini breakout was nice to see. 

Estrellas (a revue that I loved!), like all tour revues with less than half the cast and no staircase, felt quite small, at least from the B-seki side box. But in the smallness, normally unseen people get to shine, and there were moments that had me bouncing in my chair. Amato Kanon is going to grow up dangerous (if Tennis Daughter doesn’t just consume all the otokoyaku below 98th); in the opening with everyone else beaming she was smoldering. Aichan and Anru took Kai’s medley (with different songs) and made it a very cute douki thing. Sazanami Reira needs to dance closer to the front more often. Ruri Hanaka (who, bless her heart, cannot sing, at least not like a musumeyaku) somehow snagged Airi’s part in Tonight is What it Means to be Young, and despite the singing, absolutely killed it; that girl can DANCE and she’s got sass and arm muscles for days and a look in her eye like she’ll superglue you to your makeup table if you cross her. 

And boy, Coto looks good in that top position. The talent is really stupid, but on top of that she has such warmth. I’m really excited for her Hoshigumi.

Kamatari

Kamatari accomplished a feat, because admittedly I went in having already biased myself against it; I thought Beni and Airi getting a weird nihonmono for their last small theater was dumb and just about as NOT THEM as you can get.

But I take it back! It was lovely!

For starters it was visually stunning, which feels like the thing you say when you’re trying to convince yourself that you liked a nihonmono you didn’t actually understand a word of... but in this case, it really was just a bonus. The story (summary here) is not actually all that complicated, and the dialogue was even on the friendly side for nihonmono—no weird dialects (beyond what it always takes to decipher Beni), no 12th level keigo. 

Act 1 introduces Kamatari (Beni) and Soga no Iruka (Hanagata Hikaru) meeting as youths in school and developing a friendship, and then takes us, as far as I can tell, fairly historically accurately through the events leading up to and including the Isshi Incident. Act 2 was a little harder for me to follow; but it seems to be just a progression of Kamatari’s struggles living under the new post-incident emperor Naka no Oe (Seocchi), with whom he’d conspired to eliminate Soga no Iruka, and the former empress/Naka no Oe’s mother (Kuracchi), who wants to see Kamatari suffer, because she both loved Iruka and couldn’t side against her son. 

Most of the roles were pretty small so there are fewer standouts, but here they are:

This was the third in a progression of Hoshi shows I saw live (the other two being Another World and Elbe) that really helped cement my respect for Beni and Airi’s brand of chemistry. At the beginning of her top run, I was skeptical about Beni’s ability to generate romantic chemistry with anyone at all (Scarlet Pimpernel didn’t really help me with that, and I haven’t seen anything between that and Another World). They definitely don’t have sizzling hot chemistry, and they don’t have that cute newlywed chemistry either, but I noticed watching Kamatari that in the last few Hoshi things I’ve seen, I’ve found it very easy to believe how deeply Beni loves Airi in whatever world they’re portraying. They have like, comfortable old married couple chemistry (yes, even when they’re playing love at first sight). Their moments in Kamatari were very tender, but in a wholesome “aw, she cooked for him” kind of way. Yoshiko (Airi) also had a lovely part at the end, where the two of them are old, and Kamatari’s health is failing, and they go back to the spot where they met, and she says their life wasn’t always easy, and they suffered, and they struggled, but in the end she can honestly say she had fun, and she’s truly happy. I teared up! It was sweet and meta! That alone convinced me it wasn’t a bad last small theater for them.

Hanagata Hikaru was SO much the star of Act 1 that it had me wondering if this was gonna turn out to be HER taidan present (but then she died and didn’t appear in Act 2 at all). I can’t complain because she kicked ass. I feel like I said this exact thing re: Another World, but Mitsuru is normally about as vanilla as it gets for me, but she blew me away. The pompous genius school kid to the idealistic young man to the uncertainty that comes with the reality of seizing power to the change to tyranny mixed with love for the empress and complicated feelings for his childhood friend all flowed seamlessly.

Not that I’ve watched a ton of Hoshi recently, but this was the best role Tenju Mitsuki has gotten in GOD I can’t even remember how long. Esaka is in service of the (state? empire?) as a historical record keeper, and serves kind of as a narrator as well (along with Itsuki Chihiro). I don’t even know how to describe how she characterized him... he’s odd? Maybe a little off? Regardless, she was brilliant. Watch it.

Arisa Hitomi has that empress energy for sure. I read up on the history of the events afterwards, and the explanation of why she had to give up the throne after witnessing such violence (the idea back then that an empress couldn’t be sullied by such things), and that made the sensitivity with which Kuracchi portrayed her feel even more poignant the more I sat with it afterwards.

This was the first show where to me Seocchi felt like she belonged up there with Beni and Mitsuru. She definitely put some weight behind Naka no Oe and was very princely. NOW I wanna see her tackle a more interesting/challenging (and tbh more Hoshigumi) role from up in this spot. 

All in all now I’m a little sad I won’t be around for God of Stars.