#apollo is the exception… sobs

[skeptiiciizm]

More Aphrollomes and other gods as well :-3

[dna-d2]

Alright, third verse, same as the first two, but NEW GASH BELL MANGA CHAPTER AGAIN

I'M GONNA SOB

EVERY TIME AN OLD CHARACTER RETURNS

I'M JUST GONNA BE A FUCKIN WRECK GUYS

WE GOT MEGUMI AND TIO BACK TOGETHER EVERYONE CHEER RIGHT FUCKIN NOW I MEAN IT

Agh I want Won Lei and Lee Yen to show up soon but I know it's probably gonna be Umagon and Sunbeam first. I'm not disappointed, obviously but I MISS WON LEI AND LEE YEN OKAY????

I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT WON LEI WAS SO FUCKING COOL I MISS HIM

[thatoldbooksmellsstuff]

" don't TELL ME you're not the same personnn, you're always my husband lover and I've been- waaitiingg,

Percy signing that awfully devastating

waaiitiing,

Waaitingg,

Waaitiing,

WAAITINGG

WAAITINGG

WAIITINGG~OHHH....

for....

you~ 🎺🎺🎺🎺🎺🎺🎺🎺🎺

I've been daydreaming WTHB Percy & Apollo singing "Would you fall in love with me again" from EPIC the musical together.

Me too 😭😭😭 me too ☹️☹️☹️

[demigod-shenanigans]

The choiceless hope in grief

Summary: Leo Valdez has lived and died for the gods. Their war has shaped his life since he was a baby. With Gaia defeated, he sort of hopes he can finally rest. He has friends and some semblance of home to return to for the first time since he was eight years old. Just this once, he allows himself to hope the good things might stick.

But the gods aren’t done with them just yet, and by the time Leo finds his way back, Jason is gone.

This time, Leo decides he’s done just taking the Fates’ bullshit lying down. If getting his best friend back means striking a deal with the gods and venturing into the Underworld… well, it’s probably not even the most reckless thing he’s ever done.

The caveat of said deal? He has to trust Jason will follow him, or his self-doubt will doom them both.

And after the life he’s lived, Leo is so intricately familiar with self-doubt that he could probably trademark the word.

Or: The only possible way for Orpheus to succeed is if he learns to think of himself as a person worth loving.

Word Count for chapter 1: ~5k

Rating: Teen and Up

So! *claps hands together* I’ve been threatening you guys with my Orpheus Eurydice valgrace fic for a while! Technically I wanted to wait to post this until I’m completely done writing the fic, and I mostly intend to stick to that! I’m only posting this now because I have a minor surgery tomorrow and I’d rather be anxious about fic related things than about the surgery in question. So, take this chapter as a preview of sorts, more to come soon-ish but probably not immediately!

A couple of important notes before we start:

-TW for suicidal ideation. It’s less Leo actually wanting to die and more his canon behavior of “I’m doing something extremely reckless that might succeed but if it doesn’t, my death is an acceptable consequence”, paired with general grief related self-loathing, but if you think you’re not in the right headspace to read about that, come back when you are or at least tread carefully. This fic pics up at the end of The Burning Maze, so especially the beginning is pretty heavy on the grief stuff.

-Since ToA is vaguely canon to this fic, Leo and Calypso are technically dating in the beginning, but they don’t really interact positively as a couple (honestly they don’t interact that much in general) and break up pretty early on. Just be aware in advance that they’re still together for a little bit.

-Fic title is from Talk by Hozier which is maybe a painfully obvious pick but it was too perfect for me not to use it.

Chapter 1: Leo and Piper have an extended sleepover

It wasn’t a discussion between Leo and Piper whether or not to go to Jason’s funeral. They came to the decision that they wouldn’t silently—or as silently as one could come to an agreement when all parties involved were sobbing.

Maybe it should have been a discussion. There was a part of Leo that worried he’d regret this later—his refusal to take this chance to say goodbye and let himself grieve.

But Leo remembered his mother’s funeral. Remembered the way his aunt Rosa had looked at him like she knew his mother’s death had been his fault. Leo couldn’t stand the thought of people looking at him like that again.

He also didn’t remember his mother’s funeral bringing him any sense of closure or comfort. He’d stood at her grave, afterwards, just as desperate and afraid and utterly inconsolable as he’d been before the funeral, except it had suddenly felt sickeningly final. The wound it had torn in his soul had kept bleeding for years, and the scars would stay forever. He didn’t need any of Apollo’s shitty oracles to know Jason’s death would be exactly the same.

At this point, Leo was pretty sure his sanity was being held together by a combination of jokes and a truly questionable amount of duct tape.

Beyond all that, though, Camp Jupiter was a battlefield right now. It would continue to be a battlefield for the foreseeable future.

Leo wasn’t a coward. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go back and help. But one of his best friends was already in a box, and there was no way in hell he’d risk the other.

With how tightly Piper was clinging to him, maybe she was thinking the same thing. 

For all his big talk about dragon escorts, Festus did most of the actual escorting on his own, occasionally torching what Leo hoped were monsters and not random public monuments. Leo, for his part, spent most of the journey crammed into the backseat of the car next to Piper, sandwiched between her and a bunch of moving boxes that seemed determined to flatten him into a Leo-shaped pancake whenever they took a sharp turn.

He’d spent so long thinking about seeing her and Jason again. 

He’d talked Calypso’s ear off about them the whole journey, to the point where it had clearly started to annoy her. He’d thought about various ridiculous entrances he could make, and the fact that he’d probably get yelled at, but he’d also thought about sitting together by the campfire, sharing nachos. He’d thought about Jason hugging him so fiercely that he couldn’t breathe, and Piper cussing him out while she held him, making him promise never to do anything that reckless again.

Now Piper was actually holding him, and Leo couldn’t feel anything. There was a numbness in his chest. He wasn’t sure he had it in him to ever feel happiness again. Hell, even if he did, what was the fucking point? Every time anything even remotely good happened in his life, it got ripped away from him again.

They didn’t talk a whole lot for most of the drive. They cried until it felt like they couldn’t anymore, clinging to each other like desperate children.

Even if they’d wanted to talk about what had happened, Piper’s dad was right there, and despite the Mist usually working overtime for them, having him overhear seemed like a gamble. Or, well, maybe that was what Leo told himself. Maybe he just wasn't sure he was ready to hear it all. He still felt like he couldn’t think. He was overwhelmed to hell and couldn’t stop fidgeting.

Several hours into the trip, his stomach started grumbling. Piper dug through the bag at her feet and offered him one of her PB&J sandwiches, but Leo couldn’t eat. He hadn’t skipped a meal in forever—he’d been homeless and unsure when he’d even get access to the next meal enough times that it had been all but tattooed into his skull that he couldn’t afford to—but he couldn’t even think about eating without feeling sick. He thought about Jason. He thought about the state he’d left Camp Jupiter in and the fact that they hadn’t even been able to give the dead their proper funeral rites.

Had Leo’s help made any difference at all? Had anything he’d done in his life changed things even slightly?

Leo knew the Fates had intended for it to be fire that fell—for him to burn in a bright, hot blaze and turn himself to charcoal. But he’d refused to stay dead like a good little pawn, and now Jason was gone, and it was all his fault.

He wasn’t sure how Piper could even look at him right now, but he was beyond grateful that she was holding onto him as tightly as she did. It was the only reason he didn’t fall to pieces completely. The cog at the heart of Leo’s machine had broken in a way that made it utterly beyond repair, and now it felt like a matter of time before the whole thing came apart. Piper holding him was the only reason his remaining pieces were still functioning. 

It should have been impossible for Leo to fall asleep under these circumstances, but he’d been traveling for hours and fighting before then and he’d cried out his remaining energy, so eventually, the world started to fade around him, reduced to just the sound of Piper’s breaths, until finally, those went, too.

~~~~

It would have been kinder, maybe, if Leo had dreamed up some shitty visions promising violent death and/or the end of the world. That would have been business as usual. 

Instead, he dreamed of his time on the Argo II—of one of those early nights when the different groups were still getting to know each other, having a brief moment to breathe between their ridiculous tasks and saving the world. 

It had seemed reasonable to catch each other up on what had happened on their end. Percy, Hazel and Frank had talked about rescuing Thanatos, and Piper, Jason and Leo had told them what had happened with Hera in turn. 

This would have been a boring intel conversation at best, seeing as Leo had been there for all of their part, but they’d grabbed snacks and sat on cushions on the floor and made it a whole bonding activity. Jason had been wedged between Piper and Leo, and they’d taken turns storytelling. 

And Jason had bragged. So much. But he hadn’t even had the decency to brag about himself like a normal human being. Instead, he’d talked about how capable Piper and Leo had been, somehow managing to make Leo sound like the coolest person he’d ever met. Which was ridiculous, considering he’d met everyone else on their team.

And sure, Leo made it sound like he thought he was amazing all the time, but he was exaggerating, which everyone, himself included, knew. 

Jason didn’t seem to have gotten the memo, though. He had one arm wrapped around Leo the whole evening, and he got all starry-eyed when he talked. 

“Leo took on three Cyclopes by himself. Three!”

“Dude, stop!” Leo had laughed, shaking his head. “I know I’m incredible and you’re blessed to be friends with me and stuff, but you weren’t even conscious for that part.”

“Still happened, though.” Jason had beamed at him. “You’re amazing, dude. I would have died about fifteen times on that mission if it hadn’t been for you. You guys should’ve seen him.”

It would have been easier if Leo had thought Jason was just trying to talk him up to the others to make them more willing to trust him after how badly he’d messed up in New Rome, but Jason wasn’t the type. He’d looked like he honestly believed every single word he was saying.

So, of course, Leo had refused to seriously deal with any of the things that made him feel.

“Sorry, Pipes, but I’m pretty sure your boyfriend is in love with me. It’s the fire powers, I’m afraid. I’m just too hot to resist,” Leo had joked instead, and Piper had untangled herself from Jason’s other side to throw Doritos at Leo, and everything had been right in the universe.

~~~~

Waking up from that, blearily blinking himself awake in the car full of moving boxes and remembering… that was a worse punch in the gut than waking up from most nightmares had been. And Leo should know. He’d had so many of those over the years that he was basically a certified nightmare expert at this point.

Leo wanted to go back in time and spend forever in that one evening, living it over and over and over again until the Fates or a temporal paradox or something eventually killed him. He wanted to hold on to what they’d been back then—the three of them together and happy and whole,back before they’d realized what the prophecy really meant. 

He wanted to stay wrapped in Jason’s arm and hear him laugh at whatever stupid joke Leo came up with while he and Piper threw snacks at each other like ten year olds. He wanted to believe he could actually be the person Jason was bragging about—this invincible hero that could do just about anything and saved people’s lives.

But Leo had never been that hero. Even his sacrifice had been the selfish decision of a coward who wasn’t ready to die just yet. Jason had been their Superman. The guy who could fly and threw lightning and saved people from falling to their deaths. Jason had been the hero. And ultimately, that had been what killed him.

Leo wasn’t exactly sure what he planned to do once they got to Oklahoma. He should have been heading back to the Waystation, to give Calypso the normal life he’d promised. But he wasn’t thinking about Calypso, or the Waystation, and the thought of a normal life had gone out of the window the second he’d seen the coffin. Besides, the Waystation would mean people asking questions, wanting to know about his mission and asking him to talk about his feelings, and he didn’t want that.

The only thing Leo really wanted to do right now was not think. 

By the time they got to the house, it was so late that cross-country dragon flight seemed inadvisable for visibility reasons alone, so Leo agreed to stay the night. Festus nuzzled him for a bit, got a fuel snack from the canister Leo had brought and then folded down into his million pound suitcase form for the night.

It took a little under two hours to carry all the boxes inside, which was an annoying amount of time to be carrying boxes but seemed like an absurdly short amount to move the contents of an entire life.

They spent some time in search of the necessities that needed to be unpacked, but the house was still furnished and also had running water and electricity as of a few days ago, so it wasn’t that bad.

While Piper went in search of some ancient camping gear so Leo wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor—this seemed silly to him, the floor was far from the worst place he’d ever slept—Leo asked Piper’s dad if he could help with dinner. 

Tristan looked relieved at his offer, actually. He’d been staring at the assorted vegetables with a slightly lost expression, trying to hack at one of the zucchinis with a butter knife. It seemed like he was trying to remember how cooking worked and had just discovered he had absolutely no idea. 

Considering how long he’d been an insanely rich guy with a personal cook, Leo guessed that actually might have been a pretty accurate read on the situation. 

“You might want to try a sharper knife,” Leo suggested, which made Piper’s dad look absolutely mortified. “Try not to chop off any of your fingers, though. I think Piper’s been traumatized enough for one week.”

The words were out of his mouth before Leo could think to stop them. Tristan didn’t laugh, but at least it didn’t seem like he’d be tossing Leo out of the house over this. Maybe he realized people sometimes said stupid shit when they were grieving. Maybe Piper had just warned him in advance that Leo was like this sometimes.

Tristan just went to find a different knife, which would have maybe been concerning if he hadn’t gone back to hacking at the vegetables a moment later.

“Well, at least this one is actually cutting through the zucchinis. That’s already an improvement.”

“Yeah, I’m basically a cooking expert,” Leo said with a grin, only half-joking. He went to peel and chop up the carrots, and was done with those and about half the mushrooms by the time the poor zucchini had been hacked to bits.

“You and Piper went to school together, right?” Tristan asked after a while of them quietly chopping vegetables for the casserole, trying to make sense of things with information he didn’t have and that, judging from past evidence, probably would have made his skull crack. “You and her and Jason.”

“Yeah. We went to Wilderness school together.” Leo winced, trying not to think too hard of Jason while also trying to remember the lies they’d already told Piper’s dad. At this rate, he was pretty worried his own skull would crack, too. “Then all three of us switched to a different school. Then I was gone for a while.”

Tristan nodded like this made perfect sense, though he mostly seemed lost in thought. That was a little rude, in Leo’s opinion. If he went through all that effort to remember their elaborate setup of lies, the least Piper’s dad could do was appreciate it!

“I’m glad you’re here now, with everything that’s happened. Piper was really upset when you left,” Tristan said, still with that faraway look in his eyes. “The last few months were hard for her. Between the move and the breakup, she really could have used a friend.”

Leo promptly lost all rights to make fun of Piper’s dad and his vegetable chopping skills because at the word ‘breakup’, the knife slipped and he nearly sliced off two of his fingers.

“Fuck! Ow!” he said eloquently, trying to avoid bleeding all over the cutting board in his attempt to get to the sink. “Jason and Piper broke up?”

The question sounded absurd even to his own ears. Why would Jason and Piper break up? They’d been happy together.

Surely, Piper’s dad had to be talking about something else.

To Leo’s shock, Tristan nodded.

“A while ago, yes,” he said, but he didn’t go into details—possibly because Leo was bleeding all over the sink. “We should bandage that. Do you think you need stitches?”

“No, the cuts aren’t that deep,” Leo decided, turning on the faucet and holding his bleeding hand under the stream of cold water. Maybe he should have been more concerned about the injury, but his mind was still whirring at the thought of his best friends breaking up. Unfortunately, the cold water stung like hell. He hissed with pain. “Sorry for making your kitchen look like a crime scene right after moving in. Usually, I at least have the decency to wait a day or two.”

Because the house was a small, cozy place and Leo had not had the decency to curse quietly, Piper appeared in the doorway a moment later, an alarmed expression on her face.

“What happened?”

“I’ve been bested by a stupid potato,” Leo cursed, holding up his bleeding hand and wiggling his fingers for emphasis. He figured out immediately that this was a mistake. “Ow.”

“Stop that, dumbass!” Piper cursed, moving to stand beside him. “Sink was the right call, but you need to use soap or the cuts could get infected. Dad, any chance we have gauze lying around somewhere?”

Tristan didn’t seem to question why his daughter had immediately jumped into emergency medical treatment mode. He just abandoned the cutting board and headed for the front door.

“Not exactly sure what box our regular medical supplies are in, but I’ll get the first aid kit from the car. I’ll be right back.”

“Do we have to do the soap?” Leo whined, because fuck, that stung, but Piper nodded with a scary expression on her face, so he complied. “How do you even know this stuff? Are we sure you’re not secretly an Apollo kid?”

“I know this stuff because I’m friends with a bunch of morons who have zero sense of self-preservation,” Piper cursed, gritting her teeth. “You shouldn’t be around knives when you’re this distracted.”

“I can usually cook just fine when I’m distracted. Your dad was the one who told me you and Jason broke up in the middle of this stupid potato,” Leo said defensively. “Is that the Mist messing with him?”

That was the only explanation his mind had supplied so far that made any sense to him.

Piper shook her head. “We really did break up. That was a few months ago.”

Leo felt his jaw hit the floor. 

“What the hell happened? You were together for ages. I thought- you always seemed so happy.”

“I know, but-” Piper broke off abruptly when her dad came back inside with the first aid kit. Demigod stuff, then?

Leo’s mind was racing. The breakup was a completely stupid thing to focus on, considering everything that had happened in the last few days. He knew that.

But it was easier to try and make sense of this than it was to try and make sense of the fact that Jason was gone and he’d never get to see him again.

“Is it alright if we do this somewhere else?” Piper asked her dad, taking the first aid kit from him.

“Of course. It might be easier to patch him up when you’re both sitting down, anyway.” He turned towards Leo. “Thank you for your help, but I think I can take it from here.”

Leo sent a silent prayer to whichever deity was responsible for protecting vegetables—Demeter, probably?—and gave what he hoped was an encouraging thumbs up with his uninjured hand before he followed Piper into the hallway to presumably be reprimanded some more.

~~~~ They ended up sitting on an old bed that looked like it had lived a long, miserable life and was excited for retirement, but the wooden frame thankfully didn’t break down under the weight of the new mattress or the additional weight of them sitting on said mattress. Piper explained that this had been her dad’s room when he’d lived here as a child, and that it would probably become her room now. Then she went very quiet and focused on bandaging his hand, clearly avoiding looking at him.

“It wasn’t because of me, was it?” Leo asked. The thought made him feel ill. “Please tell me it wasn’t something like, I don’t know, you two being unable to stand being around each other after what happened to me. I think I’d actually have to blow myself up again if it was.”

He tried to make it sound like a joke, but it didn’t feel like one at all. The thought that he'd managed to ruin his best friends’ relationship on top of everything else made it hard to breathe.

When Piper shook her head, it felt like a whole boulder was lifted off his shoulders.

“I actually think we would have broken up sooner if you hadn’t gone missing. We leaned on each other a lot after you disappeared. It wasn’t until we realized we wouldn’t find you and things started to settle down a little that I had time to think. And when I did…” Her voice went very quiet, and she still didn’t look up at him. “I realized I wasn’t happy in the relationship. I don’t think I ever was.”

“How did I not know that?” Leo wondered quietly. “I just… you two seemed happy to me. What kind of garbage best friend am I?”

Piper shook her head. “It isn’t your fault. I was telling myself I was happy for a long time. It’s almost- sometimes I wonder if I was charmspeaking myself. That maybe I kept saying I was in love with Jason until I convinced myself I actually was. And with Hera and my mom setting it up… I love-” her voice caught in her throat, and Leo felt like maybe he needed to throw up, “-loved Jason, but not like that.”

“Pipes, I’m really sorry.” Leo squeezed her shoulder. “That sounds like it was super hard for both of you.” Leo felt awful about the fact that he hadn’t even been around to comfort either of them, but it wasn’t like he could fix it now. It was just another item on Leo’s unending list of epic screwups he’d never be able to make up for.

“Jason was… well, he took it exactly like I expected him to. He was surprised, but he didn’t get angry or anything. He mostly seemed okay. Part of me wonders if maybe…” But whatever Piper had been thinking about, she seemed to decide it wasn’t important. “It was hard to get a proper read on him, and as nice as he was about it, things were still super awkward after. I'm terrified he died thinking I didn’t care about him.”

And then she was tearing up again, and Leo thought he would shatter if she cried. 

“He knew you cared,” he said as earnestly as he could manage, pulling Piper to his chest again. “You love way too annoyingly for him not to have known. Hell, even I know you love me, and we both know I’m a fucking nightmare when it comes to this stuff.”

“I missed you so much,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his back like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“Oh, I’m about to make you regret saying that,” Leo said, forcing himself to smile. “I’ll bring it up each and every time you say you find something I do annoying.”

“You’re annoying as hell, but you’re still my best friend.” He could feel her tears dripping onto his shoulder, and he knew that would make him start up again too. “I don’t know how I’d do this without you.”

And well, passing away from dehydration after crying too much would be a really lame way to die the second time, but everything was just too much right now, so if that was how he went, Leo wasn’t sure anyone could blame him.

~~~~

For the next couple of weeks, Leo stayed.

Helping Piper and her dad unpack was the perfect way to keep himself occupied and not have to think. Usually, a mundane task like this probably would have driven Leo nuts. But right now, it was a bit of a godsend—if not literally, at least figuratively. Being productive was always so much easier when it was done in order to avoid something you wanted to do even less. There was a reason his spaces in the foster homes had only ever been tidy when he had exams coming up.

He helped cook, too, and Piper’s dad became increasingly less garbage at it the longer this went on—like muscle memory was finally kicking in after years of disuse.

It was mostly good—listening to Piper reminisce about trips she’d taken with her dad and where she’d gotten the weird variety of items she kept in her room. When they weren’t unpacking, Leo and Piper played video games or watched movies or explored the area. Twice, during the night, they took Festus on a little flight to a nearby fast food place. Finding a parking spot was a bit of a nightmare, unfortunately. Leo would submit a complaint about their inability to accommodate celestial bronze dragons the first chance he got.

The first time they tried hiking—Leo didn’t even like hiking, he’d spent enough time outside for several lifetimes, why did he do this to himself—they got hopelessly lost in the woods, and of course, due to demigod bullshit, neither of them had brought a phone, so Google Maps wasn’t an option. It was probably for the better. The last thing that situation needed on top of them being lost was a monster attack. 

They were already jokingly planning out their new life in the woods when, thankfully, a girl their age came to their rescue.

“A human being! Thank the gods. The squirrels weren’t talking to us,” Leo greeted her, which had Piper shout “Please ignore Leo!” loudly from the branches of the tree she’d been climbing.

The girl lifted her head, spotted Piper and promptly burst out laughing.

“What in the world are you doing up there?” 

“Trying to get a better vantage point,” Piper sighed, making her way back down the tree. “We’re hopelessly lost.”

“Well, nice to meet you, hopelessly lost. I’m Shel,” the girl said, still grinning. Leo decided immediately that he liked her.

Piper had almost made it back down when she somehow missed a branch and fell the rest of the way. In comedic movie fashion, Shel moved before Leo had the chance to and caught her mid-tumble. “That was a bit of a dramatic way to get my attention, but you’re cute, so I’ll allow it.”

“Oh yeah, Piper’s got a bit of a thing with falling for people that way,” Leo commented, and Piper gave him her most murderous look while she got back on her feet.

“You guys need help getting back?”

“Please, yes,” Piper said immediately. “It turns out we’re both garbage with maps.”

“Maybe you just need a tour guide next time,” Shel suggested, winking at Piper, whose face turned scarlet. Leo wasn’t even mad about being the third wheel for once. He’d give her so much shit about this later.

And he did. And then Piper properly came out to him—no label or anything, mostly as extremely confused but sure she liked girls, which also made a few additional pieces click into place regarding her breakup with Jason. She ended her anxiety-riddled explanation by thanking Leo for being so normal and annoying about all this. 

Which was how Leo realized he’d apparently never told Piper he was bi.

Or maybe he had, and it had gotten lost along with their other memories of Wilderness. Stupid memory-stealing babysitters.

Well, at least they got to hug about it now. 

~~~~

It was strange how normal some days felt when nothing would ever truly be normal again. When in every moment Leo and Piper spent together, the gaping hole that had been ripped into their trio was so blatantly obvious.

The benefit and problem of this friendship was that Leo and Piper were both experts at not talking about things they were struggling with. 

This wasn’t exactly news. From what little Leo did remember of Wilderness School, they’d spent months not talking about his mom, or about the fact that Piper’s dad kept canceling their weekend plans. They’d both known there were things left unsaid, but as long as they’d been able to cheer each other up, that hadn’t really mattered. It made sense, honestly. Put two people who hadn’t had a shoulder to cry on for ages in a room together and see what happens!

Right now, this meant they were expertly ignoring the box of belongings Piper had picked up from Jason’s school. It had been pushed so far under the bed during that first night that it was no longer visible, and neither of them made any effort to move it out of its new home since. They ignored the topic of Jason, period, until it inevitably hit them in the face again. 

It was mostly dumb shit that set them off. Piper automatically reaching for vanilla ice cream at the grocery store because it was Jason’s favorite—seriously, who in their right mind even liked vanilla ice cream?

Sometimes, Leo would make a joke and burst into tears instead of laughing because he knew it would have cracked Jason up. They found old photos unpacking. One time, Piper’s dad suggested they make tacos and they started simultaneously bawling their eyes out.

Leo had spent a long time exactly like this—pretending everything was normal and okay when it wasn’t either of those things until he inevitably broke down. Then he’d started to actually feel sort of okay whenever he was with Jason and Piper. Now, he was sure he would spend the rest of his life pretending.

His appetite was too used to being stuck in survival mode for him to bow to nausea for long, so he went back to eating properly after a few days. He still cried himself to sleep most nights. He kept dreaming about Jason. The memories wrapped themselves around him like a safety blanket that he knew would get ripped away again in the morning. He always woke up feeling empty. Sometimes, he wished he could just go to sleep and never wake up again.

But other than that, it was mostly good.

Then demigod communications went back up, and everything went to hell.

———

Chapter notes:

Fun fact! I originally planned for this chapter (as well as the next few chapters) to just be backstory in my head and for me to maybe do a flashback or two. Unfortunately for me, Piper McLean waltzed into the room and refused to leave.

I do actually think the fic works better this way, but it will take a second to get to the plot! Hopefully you’ll enjoy the whole journey :)

I may not be able to have Leo and Piper go to Jason’s funeral without seriously messing with the plot of Tyrant’s Tomb, but I could at least pick the most evil reason possible for them not to go!

Side note: I sort of forgot that Hedge and Mellie were supposed to be here according to TBM, but by the time I remembered I already had this chapter written out and, as someone who cannot be bothered to figure out how to write them, I decided to just leave it. ToA is vaguely canon to this universe, but only for the most part. Some details are inaccurate, and I think that’s okay.

Anyway, thank you so much for reading! Comments and reblogs super, super appreciated as always!!

List of people that at some point asked to be tagged when I post this: @poppitron360 @ginnyluna @keefessketchbook (feel free to comment if you want to get taken off or be put on the tag list for future chapters!)

[number-onekidqueen]

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐝

Part Two Part One

Luke Castellan x Apollo!fem!reader

warnings: character death, depression, lots of crying.

Summary: you’re still feeling awkward about what happened that night with Luke. And then you get the news that changes everything.

Days passed, days since your ki- hang out with Luke. 

Hang out? Who were you kidding? It was clear it wasn’t him. 

But you’d laid yourself bare to him, been about to confess all your feelings and he had just shut you down and run away. 

Of course you didn’t wanna talk about it in the morning. 

The tragedy was he did. 

And just when you were feeling better, and your conversations weren’t so awkward, fate tossed you to the ground again, as it often did. You still didn’t really believe it. 

Cecilia, your cabin counsellor, your beloved older sister had died on the road to college. It seemed impossible. 

Of course, they’d had a brief ceremony, a burning of a golden yellow shroud weaved with her own fingers. And then they’d appointed you as cabin counsellor, announced a bunch of new kids had arrived and everyone forgot. 

It made you sick to think people would forget Cecilia. That the three Apollo kids your cabin had greeted would grow up without her and never know of her presence.

Obviously, your cabin was upset, but they didn’t make it so as Aphrodite always did. The sun keeps shining, and Apollo kids kept going, laughing, training, even if muffled sobs could be heard the first few nights. They never talked of her, and after the first week, she was a sad little scar that had scabbed. 

It still hurt a little, but the memory was what hurt the most. 

Except for you. She was still a mortal, lethal wound for you. And it was getting harder and harder to keep your composure and pretend everything was okay. 

Shortly, it all cracked and spilled out from you. It hadn’t been anyone’s fault really. Chiron was just trying to be supportive to little Will, but when he praised enthusiastically that he was the best archer he’d scene for 300 years, tears seemed to burst from you. 

Because that had been Cecilia’s title. She had been the best archer, training all the little ones supportively and making people gasp with the precision of her shots. 

It seemed Chiron had already forgotten. Everyone had. 

It was like losing her all over again. 

No one saw the little sun cracking on the archery field. They just noticed you disappearing behind some clouds. 

You didn’t pay attention to the stares and whiplash glances of some, as you ran back to your cabin with tears streaming, and your heart in your throat. 

Didn’t notice as a tall brunette boy on the sword plains spotted you, dropped his sword immediately and with a shouted apology behind him began to sprint after you. 

Your bed was warm and comforting, the covers swaddled around your shoulders in a safe cocoon as you sobbed your heart and soul onto your pillow. 

Cecelia was dead. Dead. This is what you would deal with every day for the rest of your life, she was dead and she would be replaced and forgotten and no one would even know her and-

The door creaked open and immediately you stilled, pretending to be asleep. 

“Y/N?” It was Luke. 

Not the timing, you thought to yourself miserably. 

“Y-yeah,” you tried for a sleepy yawn, but it came out cracked and pained. Ugh. 

“You ok?” He asked quietly, and you heard his footsteps approach. 

“Yeah, yeah. Just woke up.” But your voice was hollow and very much awake. 

He sat softly at the edge of your bed, and for a while you were both still. Only your breath was audible. Then, tentatively and slowly, you began to feel his warm fingers slide through your hair. It was so comforting and lovely that you had to swallow down the wave of tears that surfaced. 

“It’s okay, you know,” he murmured, your hair in glorious tangles around his knuckles, “to cry. You don’t have to pretend. Especially for me.”

“Yeah, I know,” you whispered back, “it’s just-“ you hesitated. 

I love you. 

I don’t want to burden you with all my stupid problems. 

“You probably don’t want to talk about this to anyone, right? Me included.” He guessed, and he began to retract his fingers and you felt like screaming at how utterly wrong he was. “I’m sorry, I should give you space.”

“No, you don’t have to. You can stay here.” You tried not to beg, but you were inches from clinging onto him to stop his departure. He understood. 

“Would you like me to stay?”

“Yes. Please.”

“Then here I’m staying. In your bed.” He reassured comfortingly, “I mean, on.” 

His flustered stuttering made you smile weakly and turn to face him. 

His whole face softened, lost all his fluster and stress when your eyes met, but you were too busy setting your head into his lap so you faced up at him to notice. 

He traced your tear tracks, brushing any remaining ones away with his thumbs. 

“I know the pain feels awful,” he said suddenly, “but if you ever feel bad, like you can’t breathe or you’re about to burst, don’t keep it in y/n, come find me. I’m always here for you, always.”

“Thank you.” You said near inaudibly. 

“I hate seeing you cry,” he confessed, his forehead crinkling, “or being sad. It just hurts me. But I love making you feel better, I’d do anything in the world to make you happy, I promise.”

“Thank you.” You said louder this time, your cheeks beginning to heat up. 

It was a peaceful few seconds you gazed at each other, smiling. Then you closed your eyes, comforted. 

You felt warm hands lift your body, and your eyes fluttered open. But it was just Luke lying down beside you and repositioning yourself on his chest. 

“Sorry,” he murmured, “just figured we might be here for a while.”

His arms encircled you, and even in your drunken state of misery, your heart rate sped up. You turned your head slightly, so you could hide your bashful grin in the orange folds of his shirt. His chest was warm, comforting, and you could feel every deep breath he took. 

“Sorry,” you murmured, facing up once more, “your shirt’s probably going to be all soggy after this.”

“I don’t mind a soggy shirt if it makes you happy.” He breathed, and your heart was bursting from the love that statement invoked when you saw his eyes flicker. Your eyes. Your mouth. 

Could he really-

Surely not-

Eyes. Mouth. 

The air was electric, as if Zeus himself was in the cabin. The space was getting tighter and smaller and everything was so close and dizzy and what in the gods before you knew it you were nose to nose and you could feel his warm breath and he was leaning down to kiss you against the pillow. 

It might’ve been the best kiss you ever had. With salt on your tongue, and sweetness from his lips, the tastes of all your emotions were combined, giving way to the most passionate and fantastic kiss you’d ever had. Your head was pressed to the pillow, and he was moving above you, warm, soft and pouring his heart out to you, the gateway his lips. It seemed every single ‘I love you’ either of you had ever been too afraid to say was expressed strongly now, each drop of attraction and love and feeling was encapsulated between the movement of your lips. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay,” he breathed, against your lips, when you finally pulled apart, both of you panting, “I didn’t want to do anything while you were drunk. But of course I wanted to. I wanted you. I have for so long.”

“It’s okay. I have too,” and you laughed, all those emotions and secrets finally free. You were so giddy with joy! But Luke remained tense, nervous for a reason you couldn’t determine. You calmed down, scared it was all about to come crashing down. 

“It’s- it’s not just that, y/n,” he paused, sitting up further away, eyes still looking profoundly into yours, “I love you. I love you, all of you, and you should know that to me you’ve never been a burden, only a miracle to have been with.” 

Your breath was caught in your throat, blown away by his confession. You were expecting he might’ve been crushing on you? But loving you? You’d never dared to consider that as an option. And you were beyond thrilled. 

“Now would be a great time to say anything,” he laughed nervously, fingers brushing over your shoulders restlessly. You immediately felt awful for keeping him waiting. 

“I love you too.” You blurted, letting silence ensue. “You make me so happy every time you make a joke or take care of the new unclaimed kids. I’m just in shock.”

And then the pair of you were laughing together, foreheads pressed together before you were tangled in an embrace, that led to another heated kiss on your bed.

You knew soon other campers would arrive to see two head counselors kissing, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to care. In fact, while Luke’s like we’re on yours, you couldn’t seem to form any coherent thoughts at all. 

In the back of your mind, you were still sobbing over Cecilia. Deeply, you knew you always would. Your heart would always be chipped in that way, the missing fragment forever in her fist as she wandered Elysium. 

But you also knew how happy she would be to see you thriving, dating and loving Luke, a boy she had always suggested and approved of. She imagined her now, giggling in delight and grinning at what had transpired. And slowly, the pain began to lift. 

Maybe a scar would be okay, as long as you loved and remembered it. 

Most of all, you knew that for as long as you required a shoulder to make soggy, Luke would always be there to be your comfort person. 

taglist:

@lifeonawhim

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@star611

I think this was all, if you'd like to be added to the taglist, just comment or message me :)

[multi-fandom-lunatic]

Mkay fuckers time for solangelo HCs.

WILL SOLACE. PLAYS THE HARP. AND THE GUITAR BUT COME ON. HE SO PLAYS THE HARP.

nico tries to pick up a musical instrument to try it (coughcough IMPRESS WILL) but quits. spoiler: he's not good at it.

nico does not in fact live on just mcdonalds all day actually, but he eats fast food in general.

will does not like this and constantly lectures nico. nico does not care.

but will defo has his junk food moments. oh boy.

when will studied for med school, he was really stressed. REALLY STRESSED. because sure, your dad being the god of healing and all is great, but apollo is also the god of poetry and that's been.....well....terrible.

nico knows how stressed he is and does the small things to make him feel better. make him a sandwich (nico cannot cook). bring him coffee. a pair of pjs once.

will (before studying for med) would constantly urge nico to improve his mental health. now nico teases will because the roles are reversed.

when will gets into med school, nico takes will out to eat at his favourite mexican restaurant.

will solace is a swiftie. but he's selective about the songs he listens to. like?? this man is going to be YELLING to tolerate it and right where you left me and nico is all like 'what are you on about'

but ofc nico is such a lil nas x fan (canon??) and will teases him about it. neeks also tried jojo siwa but was cringing after watching karma.

so uh. marriage.

they wait till their late thirties to get married. and nico totally proposed.

see nico has been waiting to call will his husband forever and godammit, will was taking too long, so he got a fresh pressed suit, a nice ring, and a nice place to propose.

will is SHOCKED. he says yes ofc but he did NOT except nico to do it at the time he did.

hades and apollo were delighted. hades left thanatos incharge while he attended the wedding (ahem big mistake)

apollo was soo proud and constantly teased will for liking an emo dude and will is like dad. your ex is a fucking flower.

apollo dramatically sobs.

so apollo comes in this suuuper hot god form to the wedding hoping to find someone but all the guest guys were in established relationships and the women were straight.

the enbies and people of other genders were not impressed by apollo.

they dont adopt kids for a whileeeeee. but they do and its this five year old and he warms up to them pretty quickly.

i really couldve done better on this smh

[pumpkinbxtch]

Hello, a request please, from Apollo x Daughter of Poseidon, (I really liked your stories that you wrote about them, and I wanted to see Apollo ask Eros if love is real, I think Apollo has to learn to discover that he has to forgive himself for Jasinto and Dapne, learning what first love is, real love and feeling guilty) 🤔

a vision of you ｡⁠*ﾟ

— apollo x fem!reader

warnings: none a/n: hey, thanks for stopping by this humble blog, I hope you like this. kisses from Saturn. 🩵

Apollo headed towards the entrance and before knocking, he sighed. He was grateful for being a god, or else he knew the pain in his chest would spread throughout his body.

He looked perfect, it was impossible not to, but the sleepless nights were evident in the way he furrowed his brow and clenched his jaw. After a few seconds, he tapped three times on the marble door and it opened. How long had it been since he last entered there? Truth was, he couldn't remember, maybe he had never been there for real.

His steps echoed, and the dim light made him hesitate; he must have been desperate to subject himself to this.

“Apollo”

an omnipresent voice whispered, and an unfamiliar breeze lifted the curls falling on his forehead. The god swallowed hard and stood firm.

— Eros — he said with little enthusiasm. He was the one who had dragged himself there, but he wasn't eager to face what scared him the most.

“Love”

Apollo heard and took a step back realizing that Eros might know the reason for his visit. His legs began to tremble, and he felt a chill run down his spine.

“Does it even exist?” The words resonated strongly, the mockery in Apollo's tone shaking the place, almost shattering his hopes of receiving a positive response. He knew what he was doing, but he didn't care anymore. Would poking fun at the god of love lead to anything more tragic than what he had already endured?

“You'll see…”

A snap echoed, and the sun god fell to his knees in a trance.

And there you were, though Apollo didn't know it yet or know you yet, he could feel the longing to do so at that moment.

Truth be told, he couldn't see you clearly, just your silhouette bathed in the golden sunlight as you apparently swam. Within the vision, he heard echoes of your laughter mingled with others. Among all those meaningless shadows, you were the only one he wanted to see.

With that desire in mind, he reached out towards you, hoping to touch you, to reach you, but it seemed futile. In one last attempt, just as you were about to turn around, Apollo was dragged back to reality. The reality where he had no one, except a god who seemed to toy with his ache of loneliness.

“Not until you open your heart.”

Apollo felt his ichor burning and dug his nails into his palms.

— It's open! It's always open! Can't you see life has been unfair to me? — The god cried on the verge of tears.

A deafening silence filled the room above it, tension lingered, misunderstanding, probably Eros's anger.

“Are you sure, Apollo?” The voice replied, still calm. “You haven't forgiven yourself; that's the truth of your loneliness.”

— I've never chosen to be alone — he squeezed his eyes shut, tears streaming down his cheeks. He tried to stand, but a force knocked him back to the ground again, feeling his heart torn apart, every fiber bleeding, burning. He had never chosen such a fate, but he knew guilt consumed him.

“You're not better with company if you don't forgive yourself, Apollo.”

— Enough — he murmured weakly, tears falling onto the marbled floor, his reflection staring back at him. He sobbed, —Enough.

“The one who decides to end it is you. Do you want to meet her and be happy? Fix your issues, Apollo. Otherwise, you'll make her unhappy, just like all your ex-lovers.”

The pressure in his chest intensified, and he released the first cry.

“Heal yourself, god of healing, and then you'll be able to see me in the eyes again.”

The wind violently dragged him towards the exit as he clung, wanting to stay, wanting to ask, to know.

Apollo abruptly opened his eyes with a racing heart, he turned to the side and found you, asleep.

Your body lay with slow breaths and slightly parted lips, some strands of hair fell on your face, and Apollo gently pushed them aside, leaning in to kiss your cheek.

He wished the dream had only been an illusion, but it was just repetitions of what had once happened. Thankfully, he found his way and opened a path towards you. Apollo found a way to forgive himself and heal; any scars that remained, you soothed them with your sweet presence.

[thestarstoasun]

Will stared at the sight before him with hardly restrained tears glistening in his blue eyes. He was in the infirmary office, a place he spent countless hours of his days, but it was different. Sitting in the chair he normally occupied was his older brother Lee...who had died 3 years ago in the Battle of the Labyrinth.

"Lee?" His voice cracked around the named as a tear slid from his face. The boy, who had the same blonde hair as Will, turned to face him. When Lee was alive, most people joked that if it wasn't for Will's unruly curls and Lee's forest green eyes, they could get away with lying to people that they shared a mother as well.

"Will...what are you doing in here? Shouldn't you be at archery with the others? You've been insistent on Michael helping you get better." His brothers words were so genuinely curious with that concerned tone all of the Apollo kids had called his "fatherly nature."

Will squeezed his eyes shut, forcing a few tears down his face, and shook his head back and forth. "That's not...it's not p-possible." His bottom lip trembled as he clutched onto his orange camp tee-shirt.

Lee gave a sad, caring smile. Will refused to open his eyes. He didn't feel like it would even matter if he did, considering the tears he had been fighting, although not too well, would only blur his vision anyway. "Why isn't it?"

Suddenly, there were two arms wrapped around Will's torso. He threw his arms around his big brother's neck and hid his face. "You're a-all dead...everyone e-except Kayla and Aus-stin." His body trembled as his sobs echoed through the empty infirmary.

Will could hear Lee's sigh and felt the kiss on his forehead moments later. "I know, Sunflower. None of this is real...it's all you."

"Why? This isn't like my nightmares...you're alive.."

"Sunflower, you're dying...you have to make a choice. You could come stay with me, Michael, and our siblings in Elysium-"

Will took a deep breath. That sounded nice. To be with family again. To not have to shoulder all of the responsibilities of being head counselor. To be able to see his big brothers again.

"Or you could go back. You have people to go back to, Will. Kayla, Austin, your mom, Nico."

And the guilt of wishing to cross over kicked in almost instantly at the sound of his sound of his boyfriend's name. "I can't stay with you guys. I can't see you again yet. I have to get back to Nico. He must be so worried."

Lee laughed and pressed his lips to Will's forehead. "All you have to do is wake up, Sunflower. We will all be waiting for you when it's your time, but I'd rather not see my baby brother join Elysium so young."

"I miss you so much. Even if you aren't real, I feel like you are.."

"Wake up, Will."

And blue eyes blinked open to meet worried dark ones.

[hyuneskkami]

✮⋆˙ 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃

⤷ annabeth chase x son of zeus!reader . . .

♡ liked by lightning.mcqueen, mcshizzleman, archerandthesun, j.grace and 65,912 others

tagged: lightning.mcqueen

chasingannie I don’t wanna play no games, this is more than just a phase . . .

view all 69,042 comments

lightning.mcqueen love you so much, baby 🤍

↳ chasingannie LOVE YOU MORE BABY BOY MWAHHH 💋

sallysgoldenboy ugh my two babies, stop growing up so fast 😔

↳ chasingannie we’re literally the same age, perce 💀

↳ undergrover AND????

aphroditesfav.piper MY OTPPPP >>>> NOTHING BEATS YOU GUYS EVER >>>>> (you’re so cute, yn, tell your bf he has some competition 💪)

↳ chasingannie HXKSJSKWK OMG???!! 🤭 (i’ll let him know, ma’m 🫡)

↳ lightning.mcqueen 🤨

archerandthesun you radiate such amazing aura, I wonder how you aren’t an apollo kid yourself 🙂‍↔️

↳ chasingannie AWWW WILLLLL ILYSM <33

↳ mcshizzleman there is nothing sunny about this woman’s personality 😞

↳ chasingannie stfu man, we all know you love me ✨

h.lev.0 there is nothing cuter than a man doing his woman’s hair like 🫡

↳ lightning.mcqueen except when the woman’s cute herself 🫶

↳ chasingannie OHHHHOHOHOOOHOH THAT WAS SO SMOOTH STOP

mcshizzleman i’m so happy I didn’t get called to third wheel again 🙏

↳ chasingannie you’re our child, wdym third wheel, bitch. get your ass home asap

↳ mcshizzleman yes ma’m 🫡

↳ aphroditesfav.piper LMFAO THIS IS SO FUNNY

ghostking 🖤

↳ chasingannie WHO’S GOT OUR BABY ON SOCIAL MEDIA AHHHHH <33

↳ archerandthesun that’d be me 😌

↳ chasingannie omg, will, ily this is so cute

♡ liked by chasingannie, mcshizzleman, aphroditesfav.piper, ghostking and 76,903 others

tagged: chasingannie

lightning.mcqueen baby, would you ever want to be my girlfriend ? . . .

view all 12,708 comments

chasingannie sosososososo grateful for you, my love 🍀🫶

↳ lightning.mcqueen you’re a gift the heavens sent to me, bbg <3

↳ aphroditesfav.piper that’s such a smooth way to call her an angel 😭 my heart is sobbing wow 😭

mcshizzleman my parents fr

sallysgoldenboy @/undergrover it’s our kids again

j.grace you gotta step up your game for someone like her, lil bro (annie, if he ever says or does anything weird, you let me know, and i’ll take care of it)

↳ lightning.mcqueen are you my brother or hers 😔 (as if i’d dare hurt her)

canadianbear did you ask her that thing!!

↳ chasingannie what thing 🤨

↳ lightning.mcqueen it’s a surprise shhh

↳ ghostking he wanted to know your favourite lego set

↳ chasingannie 🤨🤨

↳ j.grace he wanted to get you your fav lego set…

↳ lightning.mcqueen wow, guys!! way to ruin the surprise? 👹🥰

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@seaglass-and-string @aezuria @catastrxblues @flowers-for-em @starlitszn

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answering this req from anon !

~

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[achillesisnotcomingdown]

I finished ToA not long ago and I wanted to write down some thoughts/scenes that stick with me

(in chronological (ish) order, watch out for spoilers)

Theres an italian girl at camp ! It means Nico gets to practice and speak italian ! (which probably haven't happened in about 70 years)

Will introducing Nico as "my boyfriend". I already knew they would be canon, but reading that line felt weird /pos

Apollo sees Solangelo and think of himself and Hyacinth

That night when Kayla and Austin disappeared and Apollo left to look for them, it probably was the first night Will ever spent alone in his cabin

Apollo's insane body dysmorphia. He's a god, he can always take the physical form he is the most comfortable and confident in... Until now. He is stuck in a body that isn't his, he feels ashamed, when he sees certain traits in others he find them charming or pretty, but when it's on him then it's disgusting. He complain that everything is this body's fault (ex. he wouldn't have been touched by the Eurynomos if it wasn't for his chub.)(I could go on for hours)

Lityerses ! I love that guy. Idk why i love him that much. He is my best guy.

Apollo's reaction to Commodus' name. His flashback of him. So painful he was physically sick.

Apollo talking Helios out of killing them, because he just want to be free, not to hurt them.

APOLLO ATTEMPT TO KHS TO STOP THEM ?? IM A SUCKER FOR SOME GOOD PAINFUL SELF SACRIFICE.

Jason. I'm not talking about Jason. I can't speak about Jason.

Frank and Apollo ! They are so fond of each other !!!

Apollo heard all of Frank's prayers when he was unclaimed and wished he could've adopted him.

And Frank respecting Apollo as a god although he is *vaguely gesture at Apollo/Lester*

Reyna saying aloud that she doesn't want nor needs romance. It's so rare to see aromantic representation and Rick did it so well.

Literally Apollo singing his way out of situations.

FRANK'S SELF SACRIFICE!!! (He already had one of my favorite character development before that)

APOLLO KILLING COMMODUS ??? why do never talk about that it's one of the best deaths I've ever seen that was BADASS AND FULL OF EMOTIONS.

Apollo slowly dying out of poison and the Dodona Arrow doing everything it can to keep him conscious.

I hope Dakota didn't get killed off just to give Lavinia the role of Centurion. I love my boy Dakota, and his death felt kind of meaningless, except for her rank up :/ also i feel like it doesn't suit Lavinia. Some ppl are strong and good and trustable but just not made to order others. (ill prop make a full post about that)

Dionysos confirmed to be an annoying little brother!

Nico. How does Rick manage to always give him more issues. Leave the kid alone.

When Will glows, Apollo is genuinely impressed and tells him how proud he is.

Nico destroying Nero's door with his giant zombie bull. That was cool.

When Apollo gets stabbed in Nero's tower and think it's the end, he prays "Zeus, Artemis, Leto, anyone"

And in general the few parts he talks about Leto, he's such a momma's boy and I love it.

When Apollo left for Delphi... I was fully expecting Meg to go with him. I was so worried that he went alone while already feeling that weakened from the previous events.

DODONA ARROW. FOREVER IN MY HEART.

Artemis is here when Apollo wakes up. She's by his side, she's the first person to tell him he succeeded, she hold him while he sobs...

The first thing he does is to greet his horses :) and then to see his friends.

When he gets back to the Dodona bush ! To tell them all how brave and heroic the Arrow have been !

I could spend hours talking about the character developments of Apollo, Meg and the Dodona Arrow (i love the arrow so much you have no idea) but its for another day

There's many things I didn't talk about, but the post is already long enough. I love those 5 books, and Apollo is an amazing narrator.

I love the Arrow of Dodona with all my heart.

[dootznbootz]

You mentioned Telemachus having sharp Naiad teeth. Imagine if he used those teeth to take out all the suitors. With Odysseus’ help of course.

Sadly, would probably leave him open and vulnerable to attacks :'D So he probably wouldn't unless really desperate.

Sharp naiad teeth are more for "I can rip through any fish scale and bone and be fine." as an adaptation for water life than for battles between mortals. Odysseus watches so lovingly seeing his Water wife and Water son devour whole fish.

Telemachus is around 37.5% Naiad and he'd probably be using water from the canals to trip suitors. Even then, he can only work with a certain amount of water. Penelope has MUCH more control and she's kind of there as well. Imagining Odysseus seeing a bunch of dudes drowning, only to realize it's not Telemachus, itches my brain. He starts cackling and gets a special bloodlust when he realizes she's "there". It's another reason why he's so hurt when she firsts rejects him as "We were basically flirting during our dinner, you drowned some suitors. You KNOW it's me! WHY?!" but uh...He doesn't know that Athena had to tell Penelope not to drown the "stranger". She was mostly trying to make sure Telemachus stays safe and along with you know, killing the suitors now that she has "permission". There's more to it but yeah lkasjdf sounds nuts but I think it'll work.

Penelope looked him in the eye during that dinner, tears still damp on her cheeks, and says "You say all these things but My Odysseus, who fidgets with his clothing and who bounces his knees in time with my own, would never leave me weeping while he sits. He would throw his arms around me!" "...He would if he could." Then he goes to sleep outside and she's pissed and he's a mess. :D The "Beggar" looks nothing like her husband but he moves and talks just like her love, his voice unsteady as he praises her. What the fuck is going on? Basically she knows it's him but also is like "Why would he keep himself from me?" Like how Odysseus tells HER during the treebed scene

And Athena is editing her fanfiction document for these two as "You little fucks weren't supposed to be doing this! I kept your tears from falling, Odysseus, why do you have to be such a sap?! Shit! Back to the storyboard."

Anyways!!! :D

Naiads usually don't bite people unless they feel they have no other option. Odysseus is an exception as he does have ONE "special bite" from his special wife because he's a little freak who wanted it rdtfygufgh. Penelope bit Palamedes on his forearm as he held her back as he took Telemachus from Anticlea and Penelope rushed after him. Odysseus is haunted by the image of both his wife and son sobbing while her teeth are stained with blood. He gets sick pleasure seeing that scar on Palamedes' arm before he gets him killed.

And as a whole, there are actually a couple "rules" Naiad born soldiers have to follow that are very important within war.

With battle, even if you ARE naiad born, you have to ask the river god "Hey, this is getting really bad. Can we work together for this?" As River gods are usually like "I am here for your consumption, bathing, and healing. You will not use my water for violence." (Why Achilles gets his ass kicked and why Naiad born soldiers don't just "drown people")

If someone/something is attacking your river or YOU, like an animal wreaking havoc (like the big catfish! :D ) or a person trying to kill a single naiadborn, then self defense is fine. Daphne got turned into a tree because Apollo outranks nymphs and the river gods. River gods don't fuck with Olympians but he still wanted to protect her.

Though once you have your own water source (canals, vase full, etc.) you're technically free to do whatever you want with it. (Penelope loves this loophole 😈 The Palace waters are hers. and Telemachus' too but you know.)

With the war aspect, however, there are so many wounds that are like "wow, you probably have an extreme infection or should've killed you eventually". BUT it's convenient when you have Naiad born soldiers that can "heal you up" (Penelope's brothers are part of Menelaus' army btw!!! :D )

It's kind of why it's become a "If a man is still alive when they're picked up and rescued, that doesn't mean shit. A naiad born person will fix it before they even bleed out. If they don't die instantly, they just come back."

Same with fighting among nymphs btw.

Even if you're naiad born, you can't just act like how you do at home with a foreign river. Feel free to jump and swim and wet your scales but stay out of their business. If the naiads of Athens decided to punish people by poisoning the waters, you, as a Spartan naiadborn, do not meddle! Can't start purifying it to give to the citizens. Maybe for your OWN people who came with you on the foreign expedition if you ask but don't meddle with foreign river problems. Each culture is different.

Took a while for Penelope to adjust and improve relations with Ithaca naiads because of this. And when Tyndareus and Icarius were exiled, it was a culture shock for them as they're 50% naiad. Even with non-naiadborn, it's a shock. Menelaus and Agamemnon were in Sparta during their own exile had to adjust too, though Menelaus definitely fit right in. (I'm so excited to write about 18-20 year old Agamemnon's first interaction with 9 year old Penelope. It's a misunderstanding at first but it's wholesome. Spoiler: Have you ever been in a place and then a random little kid starts talking to you and then they give you a leaf or something? YEAH >:D It's that but sillier. It's cute.)

Honestly, I'm playing around a lot with the whole "Sparta being very military-focused" thing as it's really kind of fun to think of people having children with naiads/naiadborn as somewhat of a strategy. If you can't have demigods, nymph born children are still better than fully mortal ones. It's why there ARE so many naiad born and why interactions are basically informal in Sparta in my fics compared to other places. Like Ithaca.

I got really offtrack but in conclusion: There are special rules and customs of each freshwater source. And how battles are affected by it. Telemachus doesn't bite any of the suitors but probably uses water to help him and to heal his and Eumeaus' wounds.

[the-great-knight-gay]

Character Analysis: The Seven (Riordanverse)

Each of the seven have issues:

Percy is suicidal as in most of his POVs there is a large lack of regard for his life, multiple times stating he believes people will be better off without him and even stating he wanted to drown in TLF and SoM. On top of that... Physically abused as a kid. C'mon we all remember and hate Gabe. I hate how his entire character was literally forgotten about, despite the fact that an abusive parent should stick with a kid for quite some time.

Here's my headcanon for that. It wasn't forgotten, just not acknowledged. We all remember in the earlier books Percy was pretty much apologizing for doing anything right. That's a trait instilled in people who are used to getting abuse for doing anything. I could just be reading into it too much, and I probably am, but it's the only thing that reassures me that this wasn't forgotten about.

In fact I don't think Rick really understood the implications of what Gabe's actions would have done to Percy as he stated that in the upcoming show Timm Sharp's performance as Gabe had everyone laughing and I think that's the only thing I am slightly apprehensive about in the show.

His lack of self-worth is honestly probably a result of Gabe and I feel so angry that it was never touched.

Annabeth has abandonment issues as nearly everyone she has ever loved has left her at some point. Her mother disowned her after TLH, her father chose her mortal family over her and ignored her as she grew up, Luke betrayed her and Thalia joined the Hunters. There was even that time when Chiron was going to leave for good in SoM. That was why she was so threatened by Rachel. Because she was taking away the one good person left who stood by her.

Yes I just ignored Grover. I realize that.

Jason suffers from image issues as he was put on a pedestal from day one, even as a child just because his daddy was a king. He does NOT get enough credit my man suffered as a kid. This was probably one of the only ones where Rick actually tried to address the problem and eventually he found his calling and grew past that. Then Trials of Apollo came along. *Ugly sobbing intensifies*

Piper suffers from neglect from her father who didn't have enough time to spend with her and from her mother leaving. Even when her mother was there in Charleston, she paid much more attention to Hazel and Annabeth than she did to her own daughter.

Leo... Where to start? The kid was homeless and slept in sewers. That on its own is just sad but even more, he believed he was the reason his mom was dead. He was shunned by his own flesh and blood and was forced to retreat behind the comfort of his machines and even then, Festus was brutally taken away by those lasers. Rick really just pulled out the most brutal, sad backstory for this kid ever.

Frank is one of the less traumatized ones but still, a dead mother and having to watch his home burn down with his grandmother inside? Not good.

Hazel... Pulled out of time into unfamiliar circumstances. Having to deal with the knowledge that her childhood friend moved away, thinking that it was his fault that Hazel left (Sammy and the diamond). Having to deal with the knowledge that she was part of the reason one of the giants had risen. Forcibly exiling herself from Elysium into Asphodel just so her mom wouldn't suffer. And speaking of her mom... Maria Levesque's treatment of Hazel, acting as if she were a curse and not a living child, making her sympathize with the Minotaur of all creature, would leave lasting scars on all of them.

The most consolation I can get for this is that it looks like most of them have managed to move past all of this. Jury is still out on Annabeth and Percy as I have not read CotG yet but I'm hopeful.

Except Jason. They just had to completely overhaul him by ripping away the relationship he had with Piper, which didn't need to happen, right before he died.

My reason for not liking the Jasiper break up is the fact that, the argument that they were forced into the relationship happened at the wrong time. This was after they had done a fresh start of the end of BoO. Anytime before that I can understand, but at that point? There was no reason. Then they just had to kill my boy. RICK I SWEAR TO ALL THE GODS IF THIS HAPPENS TO ANYONE IN THE WRATH OF THE TRIPLE GODDESS AND WHATEVER THE FINAL BOOK OF THIS NEW TRILOGY IS I WILL FIND YOU!

Apologies I get a bit worked up sometimes.

DON'T KILL GROVER

It's a bad habit.

PERCABETH BETTER NOT FACE ANY RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS THEY ARE PERFECT DON'T RUIN IT!

Anyways, Knight out!

Go check out my Ao3 and Wattpad

No Riordanverse fics yet as I am still focusing on my Pokémon OC story but just you wait! It's coming!

[99problemsmysexualityaint1ofthem]

Apollo if you ever become mortal again what would you do

And whos your favorite child out of all the demigods

I would cry. I would sob and cry and then I would throw myself off a building singing "fuck you father" (yes, singing, the world must hear my angelic voice) with my middle fingers stuck out and then I wouldn't actually die because I'm smarter than most people give me credit for. I would land on some mattresses and live my life as a mortal doing mortal things because the gods (with the exception of my sister) can suck it.

No I haven't thought about this often.

and I don't have a favorite child (Nico. It's Nico.)

[chriscrosswallflower-blog]

The battle of Manhattan was mostly a blood stained blur but Will would never forget the sight of his brother’s body falling along with that bridge.

Follow along with this set of one shots as Percy and Will navigate the pain and trauma of being child soldiers and grow to form an unlikely friendship.

--

Chapter 1

The battle of Manhattan was mostly a blood stained blur but Will would never forget the sight of his brother’s body falling along with that bridge.

Luckily, he was almost certain that none of his remaining siblings had to witness it. When Michael cried out to Percy Jackson to destroy the bridge, their eyes were drawn to the raven haired boy with power sparking from his fingertips. It didn’t even occur to them that Michael would tell the boy to destroy the bridge without making sure he was clear from it first.

But Will knew his brother. He had stayed alive for them after Lee died, leading them even through his own grief. It was no surprise to Will that he was willing to die for them.

His cries were lost to the crashing of waves and rubble, just like Michael’s body.

And just like that, all the sounds from the battle are muffled. He can’t hear Kayla’s confused questions or Austin’s heart-wrenching sobs. He can’t think or feel anything except the pounding of his own heart in his eardrums.

Not until Percy’s heartbroken blue eyes are staring at him, begging him to come back; to help. He felt the boy’s calloused hand in his own and he tried to center himself and listen to the hero’s pleas.

Annabeth…Annie was…dying? The idea hardly made sense in his mind but the horror of such a thing was so great that he forced himself to join Percy on a motorbike and race to her. Will had known Annabeth since they were children, longer than anyone else at camp. She was a constant in a world where everything else had fallen apart.

He wouldn’t let her die. Not today.

They got there just in time for Annabeth, but there were still dozens who were gravely wounded or injured after the battle. Will spent hours healing as much of the worst injuries as he could before bringing them to their makeshift infirmary (Kayla and Austin had seen enough, he would be damned before he let them trudge through bodies and debris alike to find the wounded). Even after everyone was accounted for, it took three days of grueling, non-stop work from the Apollo cabin before their survivors were all truly out of the woods.

They held the memorial four days after the battle, burning 51 shrouds. Will had pulled nearly 30 off of the field himself and they estimated that at least 20 hadn’t been found.

Including Michael.

They burned an Apollo shroud for him anyway, needing something to cling onto, something to show that his sacrifice meant something (meant everything ). Kayla was bawling beside him, clutching his hand tightly. Holly and Simon, the newest and youngest Apollo kids at 10 years old clutched onto his waist for dear life. Austin had his head in his hands, trying to muffle his frantic cries.

But Will couldn’t cry. In fact, for the first time that he could remember, Will couldn’t feel anything.

He had always been told he was a sensitive kid. Crying when the neighborhood boys stoned a pigeon to death had turned into tears as he was unable to heal a dying friend. But never had he felt this empty. It felt wrong, disrespectful even, but maybe all of those days of pushing his feelings down had forced them away.

He couldn’t regret that, especially if it helped him to be strong for his siblings. He was the oldest now, the one they all looked to for comfort and guidance. He had to push the images of blood and grime and suffering out of his mind or they would all fall apart.

Kayla tugged on Will’s hand gently, a question in her eyes. She must have read his mind, because she somehow knew that he couldn’t move if he tried. Not right now. Not until the ghosts let him go. So she took Holly and Simon by the hand and guided them back to the Apollo cabin, giving Will his first bit of time alone since the battle.

Even years later, Will couldn’t tell you how long he sat in silence at the memorial. After Kayla left, the next thing he remembered was the cool breeze of the evening air and the faint scent of grilled cheese. The boy startled when he realized the scent was coming from right next to him.

“Sorry, I saw you out here and….and I thought you might be hungry,” Percy mumbled, handing the plate of grilled cheese and french fries out to the boy. “Don’t worry, I sacrificed most of my fries to Apollo.”

“I…thanks, but I don’t know…”

“Please?” Percy nearly begged, his bright blue eyes looking glassy in the setting sun, “Your sister told me that you’ve barely eaten or slept since the battle. You have to eat or…” The son of Poseidon trailed off. They both knew what he meant, which made Will reach out and take the plate, even though it felt like lifting Sherman all by himself.

Will was halfway through his sandwich, which tasted vaguely like cardboard when he noticed the other boy fidgeting beside him. That’s when he noticed that Percy was nearly in tears and gave him a questioning look.

“I’m sorry…I just…I needed to tell you i’m sorry. For Michael, for everything. Everyone has lost so much because of me but Michael…that was all my fault and it kills me. I’m so so sorry…” The boy whispered, stray tears making their way down his cheeks and he shook with pent up emotions. And for the first time that day, Will could honestly say he felt something.

Confusion.

“Percy, this wasn’t your fault. What happened to Michael wasn’t your fault.”

“But I killed him. I destroyed that bridge. I know you saw it and Gods, I can never make that right.” Percy’s eyes were trained on the ground now, the shame rolling off of him like waves. Will sat the plate to the side and scooted a bit closer.

“All you did was listen and trust Michael. I would have done the same thing…well, if I had a quarter of the power you do.” Will said, a small but genuine smile stretching his face. Percy let loose a surprised laugh and they sat in semi-awkward silence for a few moments before Percy whispered,

“Still, it shouldn’t have happened.”

“The war shouldn’t have happened. Kids too young to get their license shouldn’t have to fight or be heroes. The Gods shouldn’t use their mortal children to solve their immortal problems.” Will stared off into the distance, his eyes glazing over as the feeling of blood and dirt and screams of agony swarmed his mind.

“It couldn’t have been easy, having to deal with the fallout. All the wounded and the…the dead. You know, it’s okay if you are struggling.” Percy said, his gaze piercing. At first, the healer’s mind rebelled against this, screaming that he had to be okay. If he wasn’t okay, he couldn’t make sure everyone else was, and that simply wasn’t an option. But after four days, the majority of his mind was too busy not being okay to fight anymore.

The feelings came in like a tidal wave and Will felt the urge to scream, to sob, to rail against the injustice of it all when looked at with an ounce of understanding. But he knew from years of training that it is harder to put someone back together after they’ve fallen apart.

*Release the tourniquet slowly to restore blood pressure. Check for hemorrhage and reapply if needed.*

“I called Michael’s mom today.”

Percy froze, unsure of what to say. He finally went with his instincts, “That must have been hard.”

“She was heartbroken. Chiron forgets to call the families sometimes, especially for year-rounders. But Michael’s mom loved him, he just wanted to keep her safe. I should have told her face to face instead of over the phone like a coward. I should have asked her to come for the memorial. I should have…”

“Hey, hey,” Percy whispered, pulling the younger boy into a side hug. It was only then that Will realized he was crying. The pain leaked out in a steady but silent drip, but he found comfort in the older boy rubbing his back, even if his touch was a bit stiff and awkward. Percy waited until Will’s tears had slowed before speaking again.

“You know, if you ever need anything, I'm here to help. All of this, it’s a lot for anyone, especially when you have to take care of so many other people. Annabeth became a counselor at 13 too, but it just…it wasn’t the same.” He said, trailing off when he realized the comparison was completely fraught. His girlfriend became head counselor because her cabin wanted her too, not because she was the oldest of them all at the ripe age of 13.

Will offered him a weak smile anyway, not used to anyone caring about his well being other than his siblings. It came with the territory of always being the healer and never the one being healed, but it didn’t make the weight any more bearable.

“Thanks, i’ll keep that in mind.”

The boys parted just after the moon took its place in the sky and before the harpy’s began making their rounds. Their friendship wasn’t cemented yet, too bogged down in mutual grief to even consider it, but it was the moment that both boys would look back on and see as the beginning of their lifelong friendship.

[tsarisfanfiction]

The Wrong Brother

Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians Rating: Teen Genre: Angst/Family Characters: Michael, Will Michael isn't the brother Will needs, but he's the one that's there. Whumptober day 2, "I'll call out your name, but you won't call back" and delirium! More of an emotional/angsty whump this time, as the prompts might suggest. Also Michael&Will, because there isn't enough of that in the world (there will never be enough!)

The raid on the Kronos supporters had been a success, technically.  Michael hadn’t enjoyed deferring to Clarisse, who had taken command as the head counsellor of their main war cabin, but capturing the flying chariot had had up for it – or would have done, if Clarisse would admit that the Apollo cabin had the claim to it because they had been the ones to seize it.  They’d disrupted the titan’s forces and gained something useful out of it, but Kronos’ supporters were good fighters, and the monsters were cold, ruthless, and numerous.

Unfortunately, the chariot hadn’t been the only thing they’d brought back with them.  No-one from the raiding party – the entire Ares and Athena year-round campers, almost all of the Apollo year-round campers, most of the Hephaestus kids, and several of cabin eleven – had come back unscathed, and in several cases the injuries had been severe.

Will was the only year-rounder from the Apollo cabin that was more than simply passable at healing, and he’d pushed himself too hard patching everyone else up.  Chiron had helped, but there were some things only Apollo kids could do, and Will had borne the brunt of the responsibility, much to Michael’s frustration.

He carefully didn’t think about why Will was the only skilled healer in camp all year around, or about the yawning gap where an older brother with healing at his fingertips should have been.

Michael had done what he could, but despite his own accelerated healing, he’d been part of the casualties and it was a lot harder to force people to not overwork his brother when he was covered in bandages himself.  Even if he hadn’t been injured himself, there wouldn’t have been much he could’ve done to lessen Will’s burden.

But perhaps Will would’ve been okay, if exhausted, if they hadn’t somehow ended up with an illness passing through the camp – one of them must have caught it on the raid, and while most campers were shrugging it off without much difficulty, Will’s exhaustion combined with being in close contact with several infected had eventually resulted in a very ill younger brother.

Chiron had isolated him in a small room off of the infirmary, both for his own protection and to make sure there wasn’t a more violent strain about to break through the rest of camp.  Most of the demigods were banned from visiting, to be safe, but after a few arguments, Michael had forced his way in.

Will might be the camp’s top healer, but Michael was the head counsellor of cabin seven, for all that fact hurt if he thought about it for too long, and technically that put him in charge of the infirmary, even if his bedside manner was shit and he couldn’t do much more than administer the basic medicines or wrap up open wounds.  He was also Will’s big brother, and refused to leave him alone while he was sick.

Unfortunately, Will didn’t seem to register his presence at all, barely reacting when Michael tipped nectar down his throat or changed the cool cloth on his forehead.  It hurt, and it was worrying, but there was nothing more Michael could do except try to keep him comfortable, and send agitated prayers their father’s way.

The second day into Will’s quarantine, Michael nudged the door open with his foot, arms full of cloths and worried siblings behind him.  Just like the first day, Michael didn’t let any of them follow him in to the room, and was immediately glad when he entered to find Will crying.

“Will?”  The cloths were discarded at the foot of the bed with no ceremony as Michael hurried to his brother’s side.

"Lee?" Will sobbed, hand reaching out for empty air, and Michael’s heart twisted.

"Lee's not here, Will," he said, ignoring the way his voice broke on their brother's name.  He caught Will's reaching hand with both of his, hooking a foot around the chair he’d left in the room to drag it close enough to sit on without letting go.  "It's me, Michael."

"Lee!" Will protested, and Michael had to tighten his grip as his younger brother tried to reach out again, muffling a curse when Will started to reach out with his other hand instead.

"Lee's not here," he repeated, hating that he had to say it at all, that it was the truth, that Will was too sick to remember - or maybe sick enough to hallucinate.  Lee had always sat bedside vigil whenever any of them got sick, even before he became head counsellor, and Michael could understand why Will was calling for him.

Gods knew he might have done, if it was him sick in that bed instead.

"He's not here," he said again, shifting to catch Will's other hand with one of his and trying to place it down on the bed again. Will fought him, tears seeping down his face, and Michael’s own eyes were prickling with poorly-buried grief, too. "It's just me, Will. Just Michael."

Illness sapped Will’s strength enough that his hands couldn’t break free from Michael’s grip, but that didn’t stop him from trying, or from getting more and more agitated when he couldn’t.  “Lee!”

Fuck if it didn’t hurt, hearing Will call for Lee so desperately.

Michael had always been awful at the bedside manner thing, but he’d been Will’s big brother for five years now.  Hugs weren’t really his thing, but they were Will’s, and various siblings had dished them out at various points during Will’s time at camp.  Michael had, on rare occasions, been one of them.

Clearly, one was needed now.

He dropped Will’s hands and wrapped his arms around his younger brother instead, leaning awkwardly onto the bed as he pulled Will half-upright and guided his head to rest in the crook of his neck, leaving one hand buried in tangled blond waves.  The old cloth that fell from Will’s forehead went ignored.

“Lee,” his brother sobbed again, quieter, and Michael found himself being hugged back, Will clinging to him like a limpet.  “Lee, don’t leave me.”

The quiet plea tore into Michael, not just because Lee was gone, had left them for good, but because Will was talking to him like he was Lee, and Michael could never be Lee.

“It’s Michael, Will,” he repeated again, and fuck, his eyes stung and there was salt trickling into the corners of his mouth.  “Lee’s g-”  His throat closed up entirely, stifling the word gone until it felt like he would choke on it, or throw up.  “Not here,” he amended, and if he buried his face in Will’s hair, well no-one else was allowed in the room to see.

Will didn’t get the message, more tearful pleas for Lee assailing Michael’s ears, and Michael felt completely useless.

Lee would’ve been able to do something.  Lee would’ve got Will’s attention, had enough healing skill to bring down his fever and break whatever was making Will think he was still there, still with them.

Michael could do none of that, assaulted by grief he’d tried to bury because he was head counsellor, he didn’t have time to break down and grieve when everyone else needed him to be strong for them.  Quiet sobs dragged themselves out of his throat, muffled in Will’s hair.

“I miss him, too,” he admitted to blond locks and unhearing ears, his words drowned out by Will’s increasingly desperate cries.  They raked through Michael’s chest, a reminder that he wasn’t a healer, couldn’t even comfort his little brother properly.  “Fuck but I wish he was here.”

He hiccupped and hid his face further into Will’s hair, hating himself for it because he shouldn’t be using Will as a shield from the world but he was, because it was the loudest he could be without worsening his siblings’ grief and it was obvious that Will wasn’t registering anything he said.

“Lee,” Will whimpered, and Michael couldn’t even tell any more if he was being somehow mistaken for their brother or if Will was just begging Lee to come back.  “Lee.”

Michael pulled him tighter.  It wasn’t like there was anything else he could do; he wasn’t a healer, couldn’t magically get Will’s fever to break if the medicines weren’t already working on it.

He wasn’t a necromancer, either.  Lee was gone and never coming back, and Michael was absolutely shit at everything Lee had been good at – listening, comforting, helping.  He was Will’s big brother but right then he was the wrong big bsicrother and that wasn’t something he could even try to fix.

All he could do was hold Will as he cried, and try to pretend he wasn’t breaking in the process.

[hadeslegacyhephgirl]

I'm fading away, anchor me with your light

----------

Percy Leo Maria Bianca

The names swirled around him, stabbing. A re-opening of wounds. Achlys stood, hunched, watching, a cold smile gracing her twisted, sobbing features. "So much misery- a perfect specimen"

Nico wanted to scream. He couldn't. His throat was closed and tears refused to come. All he could do was thrash at the smoky name-bonds, as they cut and bruised him, over and over.

"And yet- and yet-"

Faster than he thought possible, Achlys was right there, latching onto his chest and pulling back to reveal anther smoke-name

Will

"No."

Nico thrashed harder. He wanted to scream, to cry, to kill Achlys where she stood.

"Another one, hmm? How much longer will he last until he cracks too? How long 'till he realises that your mine, unlovable and perfect in misery? Tell me, my dear, can a heart still break once it's stopped beating?"

Everything went black, but echoes remained and they were stabbing him and there was no-one who loved him and he was being shaken and it was a monster- a monster - and his fingers were digging into flesh - wait. Flesh?

Nico opened his eyes to a mop of blonde hair and a face set in a grimace of pain. He let go of Wills arm and rolled off the bed, avoiding looking at Will. He was still frustrated at the nightmare, and all the dread and worry and anger bottled up directed itself to both himself and Will, the only living things in the Cabin

"Sunshine?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Nico knew he was being sulky, but right now, he couldn't care less

"Sunshine" "What?" "We agreed that we wouldn't do this anymore"

Nico's anger exploded

"Oh, WE don't do this anymore do we? We talk about things, do we? We eat three square meals, we get the proper amount of sleep, we go to training, we don't practice self harm?

No. WE don't, Will, I don't. And I'm SICK of EVERYONE trying to CHANGE me so it just suits THEM better. I'm sick of it! Take me as I am or leave. And DON'T EVER CALL ME SUNSHINE AGAIN!"

Nico ran out, not thinking to grab his jacket or his sword, disregarding all thoughts except for get away.

He found himself at his personal favorite spot. A secluded clearing on a hilltop, surrounded by boulders.

A tree had fallen in the middle of the clearing, providing a hiding spot that Nico took gladly, collapsing behind it, facing toward the inky black forest, curled into himself against the cold air and icy grass, sobs racking his body

Well done Nico. You just lost Will. Just when he was beginning to be your friend. What hope do you have with him?

Nico cried harder, untill all he felt was empty and all his tears were gone, simply laying there, drained of everything except exhaustion and sadness.

Eventually the first streaks of light began to grace the sky Taunting him.

A crunch of footsteps.

A voice

"Sunshine?"

Will climbed over the log. Of course it was Will.

Will crouched and ran a hand over Nico's arm. Nico was too tired to register the flutter of his heart. Too drained to muster anything but exhaustion and vague sadness as Will pulled him up, still curled into a ball and wrapped him in a blanket that he had magically produced from his pocket.

Will sat and pulled Nico into his lap, cradling Nico against his chest.

"Jason said you might be out here. Well. Either here or at - well- you know."

Bianca's grave The words hung unspoken

Nico sniffled and curled deeper into Wills chest, inhaling the warmth that Will constantly emitted.

Wonderful Apollo powers

He was too tired to insult Will right now.

"You wanna talk about it?"

It was a few seconds before Nico spoke, his voice frail and cracked in the cold pre-dawn air

"It's just- everyone I love- leaves me- and- I just- I can't- don't want to lose you too-" Nico felt Wills arms tighten around him, and a ghost-like kiss pressed to his forehead "I'm not going anywhere Sunshine. Promise" "You can't- make that sort of promise-" "Well, the world can change its rules, 'cause I just did"

At that, Nico broke down again, sobbing into Will's jumper, shudders racking his small frame.

"I-I'm s-sor-rry" "Shh, you don't have to apologise, it's okay. Shh" Will continued to whisper reassurances, rocking them back and forth slightly, brushing Nico's hair.

Soon, Nico's sobs had turned back to sniffles and the sun had finally peeked out from the horizon, illuminating the forest below, making the dewdrops shine in the dawn light.

Will finally broke the silence

"We should get back. Before- you know, they start to worry"

Nico nodded. Will scooped him up and began the long trek back to camp.

Nico buried his face in Wills shoulder, closing his eyes. The steady heartbeat in Wills chest and the slight even rocking of Wills steps soon sent the exhausted demigod to sleep.