#apparently using tumblr is not a thing i can add to my list of skills

[lamowhat]

SOON TO BE RE-WORKED

Apparently my writing skills need to be used often so I don't get rusty, so I'm opening my requests! Pretty simple, just drop a request in my inbox telling me what you want me to write and I will lol

Here's the fandoms I'll write for:

~Obey me! Shall we date?

~Danganronpa (All games & animes)

~AOT (Attack on titan)

~...Undertale (and AUS)

~Ouran Highschool Host Club

~The Arcana

~Black Butler

~Twisted Wonderland

And more lol

If you don't see the Fandom you want written for on this list, just make sure to add your requested Fandom into your request and I'll verify if I can write it or not!

Types of works I'll write:

~Angst

~Fluff

~Smut, Lemon, whatever you want to call it (These asks are closed rn sorry)

~ Character(s) x reader

~Character(s) x Character(s)

~General head canons

~Basically everything else

Things I won't write:

~Anything Non-Con

~Problematic ships (Ex : Minor with adult)

~Piss kinks lol

~Anything involving infantilization

~(can't think of anything else rn)

Additional details:

~If you want a fem!Reader or M!Reader, be sure to specify that or the reader will be Gn!. (If you want Gn!Reader you can still specify lol)

~Some Character(s) x Character(s) might be a little OOC, formal apologies beforehand

All of my works will also be published on Ao3 as well as my tumblr

[nitroish]

oh!! oh!! oh!! about the hyrule sensing magic thing! when it comes to types of magic, i have my own personal hcs for the categorization and the way it works. basically, though people tend to categorize magic by things like element [fire magic, water magic, etc], the technical categories for magic refer to where it comes from, those being triforce magic [magic stemming from the triforce], kinetic magic [magic stemming from energy/movement], life magic [magic stemming from the inherent magic of an individual's life/soul, either the user's or another's], dark magic [magic stemming from the inherent magic of the dark world], light magic [magic stemming from the inherent magic of the light world], object magic [magic stemming from the use of a magical object], and mind magic [a complicated and difficult to master kind of magic stemming from the manipulation of someone's life/soul, most often in the form of their perception (this is different than life magic, as life magic is taking magic from one's soul and using it as energy for a magic act, while mind magic is leaving the magic in one's soul while changing it in order to alter their perception or ideas)]. i could go on and on about magic types and probably will at some point, BUT my point here is that hyrule mainly uses life magic, and therefore can sort of sense people's life magic, even if they're not using magic or don't even use magic at all. it's hard to describe how someone's life magic feels, and that feeling often fluctuates depending on what they're doing/how they're feeling/etc, but a lot of life magic users describe it in comparison to other things, hence "four tends to be more aggressive when they're blue". due to the lack of general information in 'rules era, he doesn't know a lot about exact magic terms or mechanics [though he's very skilled at the actual thing, sorta like a musician being really good despite not really knowing music theory], and doesn't really realize that other people don't really sense life magic like he does. upon figuring it out, he was bombarded with the others wanting to know what their life magic felt like, which he was happy to describe [mostly since he's never really had people to talk with or attention in general, and while he can get overwhelmed, he really enjoys being social when he's comfortable]!

[also to answer the question of how i send such long asks- apparently mobile tumblr lets u send longer asks, and i have many thoughts head filled with words]

OHHH THATS COOL!!!! oh i like that. also that makes sense about the aggressive when blue thing w four then!!! i do think abt some of the magic types you listed sometimes? there r SO MANY but its extra fuckin cool then isnt it?? life magic sounds so interesting n . i wanna eat it but . no yea thts all. crunchy. its almost 2am i dont have any thoughts to add to this!! i just am vibin :)

GOEHF ACTUALLY small thing but. legend is. good at magic. he can sense other ppls magic? its all flowy and nice. he likes the feeling of alot of magic stuff. his magic makes him feel full and . Together? if that makes sense. hyrules is really nice too. wilds is weird and zigzag but smooth? its wild but. not without purpose? dark magic is. stifling, to him. he doesnt like it much. its Too full, too encompassing. heavy. mm alot of magic feels good tho. he likes sitting away from the others when they r in a new hyrule or a new area In someones hyrule and just Feeling. the magic around him, or something. recharging and also just. (wiggles fingers) magic

[tigerkirby215]

5e Katarina, the Sinister Blade build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games. In b4 Tumblr gives me ToS for this picture.)

In my defense I had this build planned since pre-Tasha’s. With Katarina being absolutely nuts in preseason right now along with her just generally being one of League’s most popular champs I’d have to get around to making a build for her eventually.

Look it was either her or Zac. The only other build I really want to do right now is Miss Fortune and truthfully I’m kinda stumped on her. This build isn’t a build it’s a cry for help.

GOALS

Preparation - We’ll need to always be ready for a fight, with a weapon in hand and ways to rush in.

Shunpo - We’ll also need a way to jump on our foes, or jump away.

Death Lotus - When push comes to shove we’ll need to shred through everyone close by spinning and throwing daggers at a rapid pace!

RACE

Katarina is a human but with some special, magical talents. I’m sure by now people know my aversion to Variant Humans and my love of Eberron Dragonmarks so the Mark of Finding is perfect for finding marks and ending them.

With the Mark of Finding you get some Ability Score Improvements but thanks to Tasha’s we can get a +2 to our Intelligence and a +1 to our Dexterity. You also have Darkvision up to 60 feet, and Hunter’s Intuition, letting you add a d4 to Perception and Survival checks. Finally Finder’s Magic giving you some innate spells.

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - You’re an assassin who hops, skips, and jumps around the battlefield.

14; INTELLIGENCE - For whatever reason Katerina does AP damage? I mean she did. Now she builds Kraken Slayer because lol Rito balance.

13; CHARISMA - People don’t only main you because you’re strong.

12; WISDOM - Kata in lore is a bit of a hot-head but Wisdom is attached to many skills that an assassin needs.

10; CONSTITUTION - You’re a squishy midlaner.

8; STRENGTH - We simply don’t need Strength and with your build I doubt you have much. Even if jumping around like that requires a lot of muscles in the legs and chest.

BACKGROUND

So apparently Katerina is part of a Noxian Noble family? Regardless as a Noble you gain proficiency in History but I’d suggest swapping your Persuasion proficiency with Intimidation instead. You also get proficiency with a gaming set and a language of your choice.

Thanks to your noble birth you have a Position of Privilege, meaning that other nobles will welcome you within their circles and common folk will do their best to please you in order to avoid getting a dagger in their throat. You can even secure an audience with a noble if you need to! Perhaps you need to put a knife in their throat? An assassin doesn’t ask questions.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1

Starting off as a Rogue for skill proficiencies also because yeah duh. As a Rogue you get proficiency in four skills from the Rogue list: Acrobatics is an obvious choice, Athletics will help your poor Strength score, Perception will help you spot incoming hooded assassins, and Stealth will let you do Rogue things. Rogue things like Sneak Attack if an ally is near an enemy or you have advantage, granting you an extra d6 on the attack roll.

You also get Expertise in two of your skills: both Stealth and Acrobatics make sense for an assassin. Speaking of assassin Thieves’ Cant will let you communicate with them in a way that your enemies can’t understand. And to top it off Finder’s Magic you can cast Hunter’s Mark once per Long Rest. Smite and Ignite to get First Blood.

LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2

Second level Rogues get Cunning Action to Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a Bonus Action. "Never play fair."

LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3

Third level Rogues get to choose their Roguish Archetype and there’s two important things about your knives:

They do magic damage (for some reason.)

You throw them a lot.

With that in mind we shall be going for the Soulknife from Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything. As a Soulknife you get Psionic Power for a pool of d6 Psionic Energy die that can be used for a variety of features. Psi-Bolstered Knack will let you boost your ability checks as long as you’re proficient, and Psychic Whispers will let you keep assassination plans to team chat.

Of course what we’re really here for is Psychic Blades, a magic d6 psychic damage knife that you can make when you attack which can be dual-wielded and thrown up to 60 feet. You can also attack again with your Bonus Action if you already stabbed with your main action, but the extra attack will only do a d4 instead of a d6.

Speaking of magic: you also get Locate Object from Finder’s Magic. Perhaps not as useful as Find Person, but thievery isn’t beneath you. Your Sneak Attack also increases to 2d6.

LEVEL 4 - ROGUE 4

4th level Rogues get an Ability Score Improvement: turns out Dexterity is pretty important for a Rogue so increase that by 2.

(Artwork by Jennifer Wuestling. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 5 - WIZARD 1

Time for an AP boost. First level Wizards get Spellcasting because what else did you think they got? You learn three cantrips and six leveled spells when starting out as a Wizard, even if you can only prepare a number of spells equal to your Wizard level plus your Intelligence modifier:

CANTRIPS

Instead of making a dinky d4 knife empower it with Booming Blade for some Thunder damage, and even more damage if the enemy moves.

To twirl around with Voracity Sword Burst will strike everyone near one of your daggers with your knives.

For a long ranged damage tool that inflicts Grievous Wounds Chill Touch will let you make sure your lane opponent doesn’t run away and heal up.

SPELLS

Mage Armor will help you avoid a few more hits.

For a Bouncing Blade (sorta) take Ice Knife to hit your target and anyone close to them.

For a shield thanks to Gunblade (like it’s TFT) take False Life to bolster yourself somewhat.

Disguise Self will be helpful for any infiltration missions.

Detect Magic likewise is useful to locate any magical traps.

Every good Rogue has a backup plan: Feather Fall is always useful in a pinch.

You also get Arcane Recovery, allowing you to recover spell slots with a combined total level of half your Wizard level.

LEVEL 6 - WIZARD 2

Second level Wizards get to choose their Arcane Tradition. There is actually a school for magic knives and that school is the art of Bladesinging! As a Bladesinger you get Training in War and Song for proficiency in Performance along with a one-handed melee weapon of your choice: for whatever reason Rogues don’t get proficiency in Scimitars so grab that I guess?

But much more importantly you can invoke a Bladesong as a Bonus Action, which lasts for 1 minute but ends early if you are incapacitated. (Or if you don medium or heavy armor or a shield, or if you use two hands to make an attack with a weapon. I guess.) You can also dismiss the Bladesong at any time with no action required.

While your Bladesong is active you gain a bonus to your AC equal to your Intelligence modifier, your walking speed increases by 10 feet, you have advantage on Acrobatics checks, and you gain a bonus to Concentration checks equal to your Intelligence modifier. You can activate Bladesong a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses of it when you finish a long rest.

You can also learn more spells like Color Spray for a getaway option, or Cause Fear of incoming ganks.

LEVEL 7 - WIZARD 3

Third level Wizards can learn second level spells like Mirror Image to be everywhere at once, and Misty Step for legally not Flash.

LEVEL 8 - WIZARD 4

4th level Wizards get an Ability Score Improvement: more Dexterity means more AC and deadlier stabs with your knife.

You can also learn more spells like Invisibility for some Duskblade resets, and Enhance Ability (ty Tasha’s) to make sure you’re the best around. And you can learn another cantrip like Prestidigitation for some generic utility sorcery.

LEVEL 9 - WIZARD 5

5th level Wizards can learn third level spells like Haste to up your APM, and Spirit Shroud to make all your stabs all the deadlier.

LEVEL 10 - WIZARD 6

At 6th level you get an Extra Attack as a Bladesinger, but unlike most Extra Attacks you can also cast a cantrip along with attacking! The interesting thing about this is that (rules as written) you can attack twice after casting Booming Blade with this! And depending on your DM you might even still have your Cunning Action!

And on the subject of spells you can learn two more such as Clairvoyance for some Farsight Alterations, and Nondetection to... not be detected...

(Artwork by Atey Ghailan. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 11 - ROGUE 5

5th level Rogues get Uncanny Dodge. When you’re hit with an attack you can use your reaction to halve the damage. Additionally your Psionic Energy die increases to a d8, and your Sneak Attack increases to 3d6.

LEVEL 12 - ROGUE 6

6th level Rogues get Expertise in two more skills: Perception will help you avoid ganks and Intimidation will help you extract information.

LEVEL 13 - ROGUE 7

7th level Rogues get Evasion. If you’re forced to make a Dexterity save you can make some pro plays to dodge, taking no damage on a successful save and half damage on a failed save.

Your Sneak Attack also increases to 4d6, so you can jump onto them after dodging their skill shot.

LEVEL 14 - ROGUE 8

8th level Rogues get another Ability Score Improvement: since your Dexterity is maxed let’s invest in that Intelligence... sorta. The Observant feat will let you increase your Intelligence by 1 along with granting a +5 bonus to passive Perception and Investigation so you can watch those wards, and the ability to read lips! Definitely helpful for an assassin.

(Artwork by Katie “TeaTime” De Sousa. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 15 - ROGUE 9

Hey how about we get your actual abilities at total level 15? Finally with level 9 in Soul KInife you get Soul Blades for two new abilities that use your Psionic Energy die. Homing Strikes will let you add your Psionic Energy die to an attack roll if you miss, and Psychic Teleportation will let you throw out a knife and teleport to it!

Something something read how the ability works yourself because these are guides on how to make a character and I won’t tell you what every class in Tasha’s does. Oh your Sneak Attack also increases to 5d6 now.

LEVEL 16 - WIZARD 7

7th level Wizards get 4th level spells like Phantasmal Killer to make your own jungler (one who’ll actually gank!), and Dimension Door to Teleport into lane. Or out!

LEVEL 17 - WIZARD 8

Level 8? How about an ASI? You may notice that we have two uneven ability scores: increase both your Intelligence and Charisma by 1.

You can also learn more spells but there honestly isn’t much I want from fourth level so hop back to level 3 for Sending. But you can also take Greater Invisibility for some Duskblade resets. Look I just really need a 5th level spell but it’s hard to justify magic on a champion who throws knives and nothing else.

LEVEL 18 - WIZARD 9

Time to finally get the last ability we’re missing: Death Lotus. Or more precisely Steel Wind Strike to hit everyone with your daggers and then maybe Shunpo to them after the fact. Speaking of Shunpo for seemingly unlimited jumps take Far Step, allowing you to be everywhere at once. Just know that you’ll only have one 5th level slot.

(Artwork by Esben Lash Rasmussen. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 19 - ROGUE 10

Picking up our last two levels in Rogue: level 10 means another ASI. Capped off Intelligence woo!

LEVEL 20 - ROGUE 11

11th level Rogues get Reliable Talent, meaning that you can’t roll below a 10 on any skill you’re proficient in. As a capstone skill let’s check what the minimum roll you can get on your skills is:

27 on Acrobatics and Stealth

24 on Intimidation

23 on Perception

21 on History

18 on Performance (Bladesinger lul)

15 on Athletics

And to top it off your Psionic Energy die increases to a d10, along with your Sneak Attack capping off at 6d6!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

They fear my weapons? I am the weapon - Regardless of your choice of tools you are extremely deadly. On one hand 6d6 sneak attack daggers you can apply 3d8 Booming Blade damage to, and on the other hand plenty of potent spells like Haste and Spirit Shroud.

If you run, you won't see me stab you! - You are also incredibly mobile with Misty Step, Far Step, Psychic Teleportation, Bladesong, and just general Cunning Actions. Not to mention that Bladesong gives a big boost to AC which combines well with Uncanny Dodge and Evasion.

A victory is sweetest when it leads to another - Rogues are meant to be skilled professionals and you are certainly that. The skills you are proficient in can be boosted by psionics. Oh and 28 Passive Perception thanks to Observant is just a little bit nutty.

CONS

Ready for trouble? - While you have many a skill you have many more that are lacking. You can put on a mean face sure, but for an important check like Arcana your psionic potential won’t save you.

Better dead than dull - Your spell slots are limited, and quite notably you only have one 5th level slot for Death Lotus IE Steel Wind Strike. While magic can supplement you nicely remember to ration yourself appropriately.

Come on, live a little... while you can! - You know what class doesn’t have a lot of health? Wizards, and half your levels are in Wizard. With a 10 in CON and most of your hit die being d6s your enemies won’t even need to hit you to Power Word Kill you.

But as an assassin you prove why your house is the best in the business. Talk is cheap and you’re always prepared: go in with knives at the ready, take out your target and anyone in their way before slipping out unscathed. You can always reset after a rest; just be sure to remember your cooldowns.

(Artwork by West Studios. Made for Riot Games.)

[stardust-sanctuary]

Random things I think the demon bros would be good at

So, I’ve been working on my own MC Penelope (hopefully I can post her on my art blog soon!), and then I saw someone mention they wanna see the bros written to be more than their cardinal sins. So I got to thinking; MC has helped improve their lives, what if they wanted to return the favor? So; here’s a random list of a stuff no one asked for.

Lucifer

We all know this man is diligent as fuck. He’s always on top of his paperwork, always looking out for Diavolo, wrangling his six wild brothers, and does it all with enough time to spare to appreciate the arts.

Time management is clearly a skill of his, but he’s also great at prioritizing tasks. What task will take the longest? When is the best time to do this task? What should I start with? The dude’s been a workaholic since before his fall; he knows his shit. He’ll definately help you if you’re struggling (just be prepared for a mountain of teasing!)

Despite being teased for being an “old man”, with age comes wisdom. He’s definately going to be the type to try and give you some dad advice in the hopes you don’t repeat his mistakes.

Mammon

The UR card “The Mammon Way” has proved to me that Mammon may have the chops to be a mathematical genius.....so long as he can apply it to money that is!

To compound that; I feel like Mammon is really good at reading patterns in behavior. How else could he manage to steal from people like Lucifer and Leviathan? This isn’t limited to just people; I feel like he could predict things like fashion or music trends.

He’ll definately pick up if your behavior changes, and tries to help in that tsundere way we all love. He tries his best, and even though he won’t always know how to help, he’ll damn well try.

“MC, you’re not eating regularly! You’re gonna slow me down if you don’t eat!”

Leviathan

So, we all know that Leviathan is really good at sewing and costuming. And maybe I’m projecting; but I feel like he’d have great talent as a writer.

Think about it; he consumes so much media and reviews it. AND he’s apparently got loads of followers? The dude has to have a way with words. Not to mention a major understanding of storytelling, character design and arcs, and world-building

DND WITH LEVIATHAN WOULD BE AMAZING

I also think he’d be a great editor (if you can steer him away from his Ruri-Chan). Definately the person to go to when you need your rough draft polished!

Satan

This good boy is Snow White when it comes to animals (sans Cerberus) and I cannot he convinced otherwise.

I swear, he’s got a secret army of crows and cats just ready to wreck someone’s day.

I also think he’s very observant. He reads so much and is able to filter in the most valuable knowledge, and can even trip up Lucifer.

Demonic Sherlock Holmes anyone?

Like Mammon, he’ll be one of the first to pick up if your start deviating your normal behavior pattern. Though this boy will quietly research things and end up worrying himself silly. Cue weird packages of homemade medicine at your door.

Just tell him to come talk to you directly, and it’ll help you both out a lot.

I also imagine him as a talented photographer. I feel like his specialties would be in nature photography and candid photos of people. (Yes I’m biased)

Asmodeus

Okay, so I have a weakness for “slut” characters. Jessica Rabbit, Haru from Beastars, characters like that. I just remember thinking to myself as a young bab “I wish I could be that confident.”

Asmodeus, despite all his vanity, would probably be very well-educated about health. He knows all the ways to make healthy food delicious, the best lotions and creams for skin problems, and maybe even correctly guess what you’re sick with.

“I told you that you were getting a cold, MC!”

“Shut up, Asmo.”

“Love you too 💕.”

I also have a feeling that he’d be the one to help you when you need a “self care” day. After all, a healthy mind helps a healthy body!

Beelzebub

Beel, Beel, Beel, how we all love this sweetheart. It’s canon that not only is he an excellent judge of food, but also one hell of an athlete! He’d probably be an amazing workout buddy.

Beel is just really pure in my eyes (minus the food tantrums but hey, we all got our flaws), so there’s not that much I can add on.

He’s that friend you can rely on, the friend you can trust with your fears and secrets, the friend whose shoulder you can cry on.

Help him through the survivors guilt he holds from Lillith’s death, the guilt he feels from being unable to stop Lucifer and Belphie from fighting, and just treat him like the good friend he is, and you’ll have a friend for life.

#protectBeel

Belphegor

I remember seeing on Tumblr someone pointing out that Belphie seduced MC just like how Satan taught us during the RAD Exams tutoring. So yeah, this boy knows how the human mind works and it honestly scares me a little.

Maybe Belphie is Sherlock Holmes and Satan is John Watson? (Would that make Lucifer Lestrade and Mammon Moriarty???)

Anyways, what strikes me about Belphie is just how he breezes through schoolwork even though he sleeps all the time? The boy is smart; maybe a bit too smart for his own good.

I honestly think he’s pretty empathetic; to the point it influences his own emotions (he went to fairly far lengths to prevent the exchange program because of how much Lilith’s death affected him. Survivors guilt is one hell of a thing). I also see this when he makes the effort to not only make up for what he did to MC but his brothers as well.

For the love of God, Lucifer, talk to your brother, damn.

Agree? Disagree? Didn’t see your idea? Go ahead and add your own thoughts!

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 11: Discharge Plan

Characters: Captain Syverson x OFC (Shane Dawson)

Summary: The highs of Shane and Sy’s first weekend as a couple are followed up by some big news from Sy, leading to our couple’s first fight.

Don’t miss a session! Click here to catch up on this story or explore my other works!

Word Count: 2.7

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, smut, sort of unprotected sex, rough-ish sex, angst, alcohol consumption,

Author’s Note: First off, I wanna talk about the word “victuals.” I’ve loved this word for a long time, even though it makes no sense, phonetically as it actually rhymes with the “fiddles” or “riddles.”(It’s true, look it up!) It’s very pastoral and somewhat archaic, so you don’t hear it too much anymore in current writing about the present, but I just felt like Sy would say it. Secondly, it was really hard for me to put my darlings through the argument in this chapter. I want them to have only happy times…but that provides no tension or motivation for story development…and I want to keep writing them more than I want them to be happy… I guess I finally understand why authors torture their characters! Lol! It might take a bit of time for me to sort out what their relationship looks like adding the distance factor, but I have some ideas that might work. Also, it might be an opportunity to do a bit more of Sy’s perspective, which I thoroughly enjoy, and may go back and fill in some blanks for him in between chapters I’ve already done. I hope you all enjoy this installment of the Treatment of Captain Syverson! Feedback in any form is always appreciated!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

The rest of the weekend was spent in blissful relaxation. Sy went to his place to feed Aika and bring her over at Shane's insistence. The dog had been slightly standoffish with her, but Sy assured her that it was in her nature to be aloof, and that she needed to be engaged or instructed to behave more doglike.

"It's her training. She's still a soldier. It's hard for us to shake those habits. Like me calling you 'ma'am' at first."

"She's another die hard. I respect that." she chuckled, scratching Aika behind her perked ears, and eliciting pants of contentment from her.

Sy's skills with a spatula were unmatched. That was to say, he made the best pancakes she'd ever had. They almost didn't need syrup…almost. They ordered an obscene amount of Chinese takeout which lasted them about three meals each. Sunday evening, though, which had a gloom to it no matter the circumstances, required some comfort food. They agreed on pasta, so Shane made up some of her famous alfredo sauce and probably twice the recommended portion of pasta for two humans to consume. There were no leftovers. Sy had three helpings, himself. Three heaping bowls of it. Shane couldn't handle more than one and a half servings, even though she wanted to gorge herself. She knew too much would make her ill.

When they weren't eating, the were cuddling on the couch, or in Shane's bed. They watched more Parks and Rec, and a few other films and shows that Sy requested, just to break things up. Their bodies were constantly wrapped in each other, leading to frequent bouts of making out, fooling around, and sex in almost every room of the house.

Her favorite had been the shower. She insisted on getting cleaned up, but Sy had objections.

~~~~~~~~

"I'll be less than ten minutes, come on, I reek! You can't wanna kiss me when I smell like this!" she said, trying to shut the bathroom door on the human mack truck before her. Broad and formidable.

"You smell like sex, and…me, darlin. I've never wanted to kiss you more," he said, backing her up toward the shower doors. "but I guess if you must. Lemme help, though." he pulled open the glass door, forcing her into his captivating kiss, and maneuvering her backward into the walk-in, stone tile shower. He pulled off her tank top, capturing her breasts in his hands and mouth for a moment before kneeling to remove her shorts and kiss her thighs. He pulled himself away too quickly and started the water flowing.

"Sy, you're fully dressed!" he was barefoot, but otherwise, in jeans and her favorite of his tees. The letters DILLIGAF across a skull, black on red. She always laughed on the inside when she saw it. Because although Sy often had to put on a calloused and brusque act when he'd been an officer in the Army, he was terribly soft and sweet when the occasion called for it. The irony being that although he didn't look like he gave a fuck, he actually did.

"I've got more clothes in the truck and you've got a dryer." he maneuvered her under the pulsing stream of the showerhead. "Gotta get you wet." he let the water run through her hair as he reached for her shampoo, a coconutty concoction that reminded her of summer, squeezed a bit into his hand, and lathered it up. He worked the suds into her wet hair gently, raking his nails across her scalp in a way that excited and ignited every atom in her. She sighed at his touch which made him groan with need.

He tilted her head back to rinse the lather out and reached for the conditioner. He was a bit more generous with it than strictly necessary, but she didn't protest. He pulled her hair forward in two sections, one over each shoulder and worked the emollient into the strands. His hands slick from the product, he ran them over her breasts and her abdomen and hips…between her legs. There her own arousal was primed to combine with the tropical unction. She gasped as he worked his fingers over her, slow at first, but speeding up, only to slow again. When she finally whimpered in frustration, he undid his jeans, and backed her up to the stony grey wall, not giving a fuck, as his shirt had suggested, that he and his clothes were getting soaked. His only care now apparently, was to satisfy the simpering cries of "yes, please." from Shane.

His first few thrusts were slow and measured, knowing that she was still adjusting to his size. But it didn't take long for him to lose control. She wasn't sure what was making him like this, but she was not complaining in the least. The texture of his jeans on her bare, wet thighs was a sensation she wouldn't soon forget. She gripped at him, holding onto his shirt for dear life as her climax built to impossible heights.

She was loving the way he lost himself in the ferocity of the act. And his release led to hers immediately. She wrapped herself around him in blissful embrace, and whispered his name as a prayer.

"Sorry, darlin,' I meant to…"

"It's okay. I'm on the pill and I'm not at a particularly dangerous time in my cycle."

He kissed her tenderly and reached for her bath puff and some body wash. "Well, let’s get ya cleaned up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only good part about Monday was that she'd be treating him. Although, he was scheduled in the afternoon. Her morning would drag on eternal.

He greeted her with a typical "hey, susnshine" and she led him into the gym, feeling his gaze on her ass, wanting, even though they'd just left each other quite satisfied that morning. He was freshly showered, beard well groomed, and his hair growing back in very nicely. He'd asked her weeks ago whether he should keep the buzzed look or not, and she had been entirely for growing it out. She wanted something to run her hands through. She'd be fine if it was at least shoulder length, but she wouldn't push that on him.

They did their normal warm up on the bikes, followed by some plyometric drills, which made him scowl at her in a way that lit her up like a firecracker. But the fact that he was able to jump up onto the box was encouraging. He couldn't have done that a month ago. He was progressing so well and was so close to his long term goals and discharge. It almost made Shane sad. It wasn't as though they wouldn't see each other, but having him break up the insanity of her day three times a week for just an hour was invaluable.

As they were doing their usual end of the session stretch in her treatment room, and she noted the improved range of motion he was getting, he broke the amiable silence with a question.

"Hey, can I bring a pizza or somethin' over for dinner tonight after you get off?"

"Sure!" she could tell there was something he wanted to say, but was holding back. She prodded. "Everything okay? You've been a bit…off today."

"I'm good. Just a little distracted." he deflected by touching her hip, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. She swatted him away.

"Not here, Sy."

"But that makes it fun!" he pouted.

"No, that really could get me fired! Getting frisky on company time!"

"Mmmm, I'd love to frisk you right now." he reached between their legs to try and grab her again, but she thwarted him and pinned his wrists at his ears.

"Cool it, cowboy, or your last two sessions are gonna make you wish you'd never met me." she threatened.

"Ain't nothin', nothin' on God's good green earth could make me wish that, sunshine." His stunning blue eyes softened her resolve and she let go, continuing to stretch him.

"Still…cool it." she grinned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She'd just had time to change into some comfy clothes, wash her face, and put her hair up when her doorbell rang.

Sy stood smiling under the porch light, a modern white knight, carrying a large pizza from Pizza Hut and a six pack of Miller High Life.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes! And it's nice to see you too, Sy!" she laughed, teasing him.

"Should I leave the victuals and go?" he asked, mock concern on his sarcastic brow.

"Get in here, soldier."

She got out napkins and paper plates because as horrible as it sounded, she just couldn't think about doing dishes tonight. She was even glad Sy had brought drinks in disposable or recyclable containers, and not wine, which she tended to prefer. She was exhausted, but not upset, which made the silence they ate in bearable. Sy still seemed to have something on his mind, though.

"Did you have something you wanted to talk about tonight, Sy?"

"Kinda, yeah, uh…it's kind of a big thing for me, and I know this is new, what we have, but…well, I'll just tell ya."

"Go on." she encouraged, worried.

"I…I talked to my old CO about jobs in the private sector. He referred me to a company that…well it's sort of an employment agency for vets. Mostly security for private companies and individuals. I had a phone interview with them this past Tuesday. I just got a call this morning that they want to meet me in person to finalize everything. Mostly a formality. When I go for that, I'll also have to stay there a couple of weeks to a month for training."

"Where is this…gig?" She said, flat affect hiding the feelings brewing under her skin.

"The offices are in Charlottesville…Virginia. And there may be some cross country training there in Shenandoah National Park."

"Cross country…by that do you mean survival training?" She was still cool, but getting more livid.

"You could call it that, I guess. But it won't be a challenge for me. I'm more worried about the technical stuff." His bravado and flippancy about the whole endeavor was enraging her. The thought that he'd be in the wilderness alone, was only a fraction of the big picture. He was going away for a month? And he had known about the job for a week now. A week in which so much about their relationship had changed, and shifted. How could he think she'd just accept this without a bit of raging.

"You waited until after we slept together to tell me this. You did it on purpose, Sy." that was the biggest problem, she thought. The fact that he seemed to be hiding it from her. It brought back old trauma that she thought he'd never have subjected her to.

"Yes and no, Shane. I wasn't intentionally keeping anything from you, I just didn't wanna bring it up until somebody bit."

"You wanted to keep me in the dark about something you were excited about? How do you think that makes me feel?"

"I didn't wanna get your hopes up or mine. Honestly."

"Saying 'honestly' doesn't make it honest, Sy. I've told you about everything that Elliott put me through. The lies. The secrets. This puts a bad taste in my mouth. You have to see that. Can't you?"

"Oh, sunshine, I--"

"No, please. Do not do that right now. Don't call me sunshine when all I can see is the night."

"I'm so sorry. My intention was not to make you feel in any way like that asshole ever did. Please hear me when I say that. I want to be the opposite of him in your mind in every way, darlin.' Please believe that."

There was so much sincerity in his voice, now nearing tearfulness that she felt he must be telling her the truth. She nodded. But was still apprehensive about the nature of the job and the training.

"But…what if you get hurt again?"

"I won't. You've all but fixed me, Shane. I'm stronger than ever."

"Can't you just…find a safe job? Here?" She was being selfish. She couldn't help it. Even though she knew she might regret it.

"Sit at a desk, ya mean? Deliver pizzas?" he indicated the box between them on the table. "Call people and ask them if they're happy with their cable services, Shane? Is that all I'm good for now?" he was angry.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"No, of course not. You're a PT. That's what you were meant to do, right? Well, imagine if you couldn't do that no more. Something or another, an injury, perhaps, or just plain ol' shitty situation, left you in a position where you couldn't go back. Couldn't do your dream job. Couldn't fulfill your purpose." he spat. "Wouldn't you do anything you could to be some shadow of what you were meant to be?"

She couldn't speak. Because he was right in so many ways.

"Because right now, I'm nothin'. I'm not doin' anyone any good. I'm a drain on my country, the one I swore to protect with my very life. It's like I've broken an oath. And it's fractured my soul."

"I see that. I truly do. But I need you here. You do ME good, Sy. I'm already half dreading d/c'ing you. I don't wanna have to say a goodbye, too." it was her truth. But it hit him very much sideways.

"So…what is it, Shane? You only want me when I'm broken? You only want me so you can fix me?"

"No, of course not! That's not what--"

"Am I a charity case to ya now? Is that why ya finally gave in and let me in your bed?"

"Sy, no!" she was crying now. It had hurt so much to think that he could have gotten that from what she'd said.

"I think if you can have feelings hurt about this situation then so can I."

He stood to leave, but she caught him by the wrist.

"Shane…you know I would never, ever harm you. But please… don't test my limits. Let… go." She did.

She was still quite a bit faster than him, so she ran ahead and blocked the door.

"Move." he insisted. She didn't.

"Hear me out, and then I'll let you go."

He crossed his arms and nodded, his gaze still one of cold steel.

"Sy, I didn't mean to make this job that you're clearly excited for into a source of anguish or to make it about me. I'm thrilled that you're going to get to do something you want in another field. I really am. I just…being with you has made me realize how good life can really be. And even if you'd told me before we slept together, I would have said the same thing. It was selfish of me to haul my baggage into the conversation when you aren't, have never been, and could never be Elliot. His best couldn't compare with your worst. And I will do my best in the future to think about who you are before I complain about the work you find to do."

"It's like I said about Aika before. She's a soldier. Hard trained. And so am I. It took a lot of hard work for me to get where I am, so much that it fundamentally altered who I am as a person. Now, in my opinion, those changes were for the better. I was kind of a shit before I became a soldier, thought the sun rose and set with me. I got some perspective and met some good people…lost some, too. Saw some shit I can't unsee. Some of it haunts me to this day, and I figure it always will. But I reckon if I can keep fighting the fight somehow. Keep protecting people in whatever way I can, my training and experience won't be a total waste."

"I understand and respect that, Sy. And I will back you in any way I can. I'll water your plants, I'll keep Aika whenever you're gone, I'm here for you."

"Oh, shit! I wasn't even thinking about having to leave my dog behind! Maybe this WON'T work!" he chuckled.

"Second fiddle to another woman already. I knew you were gonna break my heart, Captain Logan Syverson."

"Never intentionally, sunshine." he hugged her, tight, and with his whole body. Their argument in the past and their future an exciting mystery. Shane had never felt so safe and loved.

Up Next: Chapter 12: Final Home Exercise Program

[witchcraftingboop]

Further Insight on Briar's Recent Discourse & Prim's Apparent Grooming of Younger, Newer Witches

It was suggested to me that instead of making one long post (which I was genuinely sorry for creating in the moment as well), that I should offer the second half in a separate one so that it is easier to share and harder to simply ignore as a wall of text.

Here is the link to the first half of the current JBird and Briar discourse floating around. I highly encourage everyone involved in the Witchblr community to review both posts and not just this final addition. 

Regarding Prim stirring the pot, I actually do have proof of that on my page somewhere if you wouldn't mind my sending it to you? The person I reblogged it from, Mahi, also received death threats from Prim when they were only 16 and Prim was 20 (I can't ask him to share that though because Prim has since used her following to drive him off of Tumblr and he's still fairly [and justifiably] sensitive about it.)

Regarding Briar's statements more specifically though, I can see where the confusion is coming from. After the "in France" part, she's just defining a relevant term (hence the use of "irrelevant details) and then giving an explanation of how she came to be so knowledgeable about that term/concept. I wouldn't say she's calling Prim's activism an "irrelevant detail," but pointing out how Prim uses it as a shield against backlash whenever another blog (not just tradcrafters) calls out her platform. I don't expect you to fully understand or see what I mean when I say that, of course. Because you are still new, and these are habits I've observed of hers from nearly a year of following their interactions. I would, however, like to point out that Briar doesn't say anything racist about Prim and does not once bring up her race. In fact, I think if you read her entire post and not just point 3 as Prim has it cropped out in all of her mentions of it, you would see more fully the depth and amount of frustration Briar is trying to express. Similarly, Briar never threatened to dox Prim. She has, in fact, repeatedly tried to point out that Prim should be protecting her online information and be more aware of how to stop others from finding out about her private life/situation. These statements, however, have since been warped by Prim and her followers to come off as a threat on her life. Briar's statements above aren't a threat of doxxing. She's never once posted Prim's personal information or told others to find it or use it in any way. She has, however, searched for Taglocks on Prim, something witches especially are known to look for. In that search she found more than she was even looking for, despite trying to tell Prim repeatedly to stop being so open online with the information she posts about herself. Doxxing though is not racist. It is something used by them, sure, but it is not inherently racist.

Additionally, Prim has raised money, sure, but I still have not seen any actual receipts as to her *actually* donating it to any public or private organizations. This, for me, is highly suspect. In reality, we still have no idea where that money is. Whereas with Briar, she took no money in for a couple days on her readings and instead merely asked that those requesting a reading first submit proof of donation to an organization linked in the post. She raised substantial money for the BLM movement, but no one seems to want to bring that up in all of their "she's a racist" discourse. Also, the observation that someone is misleading or gaslighting their following is not racist. Just because she said Prim was recently using her BLM reblogs & promotions to do it *this time* still does not make it racist. Questionable wording is just something the reader disagrees with, in my opinion, and should be addressed as such.

I'm not going to lie, I do feel a little frustrated at this point. I was really hoping to come to you and see that you had concrete proof to offer that Briar is a racist. I do understand that you have your own reasons for feeding into the assumptions and twisted outlooks already taken on Briar's words, but I don't have enough energy in me to fully swallow my tongue on this one. I really do hope that you at least consider what I've said here. I'm not sure what I can say at this point because all of the information I've read from you thus far has been purely conjecture or assumptions or just "not feeling right" about the wordings on a single post. A racist, from my perspective, is not something I would ever feel comfortable calling someone off of this lack of evidence.

I understand it is hard to separate preconceived notions from your mind when reading through the words of others, but I really do miss when you were more open to the words of others. If I could ask one thing of you, it'd be to please try to read Briar's post again but from the perspective of seeing it how it was meant to be: a witch who has been on the butt end of Prim's harassment for going on three years now. She is tired of the wild accusations and constantly having to defend herself, and even when she supplied her proof a couple years ago, no one wanted to hear her. She has, largely, given up on being heard, and now screams into what feels like a void when attacked.

Proof of Prim stirring the pot that I offered: An example of Prim actively seeking out the community and trying to stir the pot with an already dealt with situation that had passed over a year ago.

A direct source that I offered as further proof of what has occurred already: This is one from the account mentioned before who was directly involved with the previous discord server where the Trio incident took place a couple years back.

[A Reply.] I think, to be fair, I saw your comments on her previous posts through your main, and with how much aggression you packed into those messages, I don't necessarily blame her for deciding not to engage with your private messages. As I've said, she's very used to people attacking her like that, and in her mind, unfortunately, you've probably been added to the list of aggressive people ready to fling the blame at her rather than look at the situation as a whole. I do apologize for the way her post may have made you feel, but I think it's also important to remember the potentially aggressive things you left on her page (I'm not saying you meant to come off that way, but even I couldn't help but read that way). Also, regarding the ask, it's no small secret that the occultists of the tradcraft group are skilled and well-versed in hexes and curses. When reading her posts about how she may respond to further antagonism on Prim's part, I see a fully realized occultist wielding their most well kept and trained weapon: baneful magic. I'm sure Prim herself also understands that the "threat on her life" she's saying she's so afraid of, isn't a physical threat, but a metaphysical one. She has repeatedly and continually tried to drag these people through the mud, and now that they're refusing to just sit back and be canceled, she's afraid. She knows how strong their magic is, and they aren't shy about it 🤷‍♀️

[A Reply.] No, I completely understand where you're coming from. I, personally, have seen your willingness to talk things through, despite how aggressive you can come off at times in the things you say, so I think that's why I was genuinely so surprised to see your comments on some of her posts. But I do think her response and refusal to further directly engage with you is warranted and her right. Unfortunately, it is hard to tell who is genuinely open to talking and who is just trying to bait and add to the problem. And with how aggressive your comments were, 8 honestly think she most likely was responding from a place of "oh look another young Prim follower here to bait and berate me." I don't think she looks down on you for your age, but her views are likely a reflection of the fact that a lot of 18yos follow Prim and have openly harassed her without even asking for her input on the matter.

At this point, I would like to talk about the second half of the title of this particular post. Grooming. This is a very serious allegation against Prim that I have not spoken on previously because I had no proof that it was happening. With this person's permission, I would like to share how exactly they wound up fighting Prim's battles for her.

I will note: I am highly disgusted by what follows.

[A Reply.] Oh no! You cannot fault yourself for this! Prim is a known manipulator, and the fact that she was able to make you somehow think this is part of your being "gullible and naive" is just testament to the fact that she's gotten wayyy too good at what she does. This is in no way your fault or because of some fault within you. Practiced manipulators are cunning and dangerous even to the best of us. It was unfortunate that she chose you, but her twisting you around is in no way a bad reflection on you as a person!

I've chosen to include my reply to this person rather than our continued discussion because of how personal and involved our conversation turned. I've included it to show, as well, that grooming others to fight your battles is (though this should go without saying) NEVER OKAY. Prim has shown her true colors, in my opinion, and while I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt time and time again, I simply cannot permit myself to ignore the harm and damage she's inflicted on not only the tradcraft community, but also this innocent group of friends. A group who that has hitherto dedicated their time to sussing out predators, terfs, nazis, and racists. A group that should never have had to deal with being gaslit and manipulated by a well-known and respected blogger on this platform.

I cannot reiterate enough how sorry and deeply shocked I am at the information this person has brought to my attention. I am still stunned by Prim's activities and unable to fathom how many other potential individuals are out there being groomed to support and fight for her cause. I am sorry to the Witchblr community as a whole. I feel as if I have sat by and watched as Witchblr has been manipulated and am therefore complacent in the damage and needless hurt that has been allowed to spread throughout our community. I am just so very, very sorry.

I will be taking a couple days off of Tumblr because of this, as I feel as if I need space and time to think, but my inbox is always open and I am always available to speak with others on my return.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 250: Why Is This Family Not in Therapy

Previously on BnHA: Fuyumi invited everyone over to Camp Todovid for a wholesome family meal because what could possibly go wrong. Kacchan and Deku proceeded to spend the evening blinking distress signals at each other in Morse code while Natsu shoved breadsticks into his purse and skedaddled after getting mad at Endeavor in a completely unexpected turn of events which absolutely no one could have foreseen. After dinner, Shouto had a heart to heart with Fuyu (and then Deku) about whether or not he was ready to forgive his dad, and meanwhile Endeavor said a prayer for his very dead son Touya. Poor Touya. He was such a nice boy. You know what he really used to like? Messenger bags. He’d put the oddest things in them, too. I wonder if Touya would still enjoy collecting strange and disturbing things in bags if he was still alive today. Alas. We’ll never know.

Today on BnHA: Some guy named Takami who just got out of prison decides to show up out of the blue and fucking kidnap Natsuo because WHY NOT. But before that happens, we get a nice scene of Kacchan and Deku sitting down with Shouto and Fuyu, who finally decide it’s high time they talked about THEIR SECRET DEAD BROTHER seeing as LET’S BE REAL, THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS DINNER TO BEGIN WITH. So basically, (1) he’s definitely dead! For sure! 100% deceased!, and (2) Natsuo apparently blames Endeavor for his death, lol no big. Deku and Kacchan are for some reason super fucking chill about hearing this, and then Endeavor comes over and is all “TIME TO HEAD BACK” and omg I’ve never hated him more. And then as they’re driving away from Todofield Hall, Takami shows up and is all “HEY ENDEAVOR LOOK I KIDNAPPED YOUR CHILD AND I’M GONNA KILL HIM!” and holy shit but Horikoshi is just fucking with us now, though.

(As always, all comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added some  ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

all right manga, do your worst. I’m completely spoiler-free on this one. watch it not even be a flashback, after all of that lmao

(ETA: lol I read these two asks after I read the chapter and they’re pretty great:

honestly this week wasn’t that bad, though! the worst part of it was the whole “only 13 pages again” thing honestly. next week, though, it looks like we’ll be in for some fun times. oh goodness.)

so it appears night has fallen on Todofield Hall, and hoooooooooly shit you guys, are they. are they all gonna have a sleepover at Shouto’s house, because fdszllk I. I’m gonna. ldskfjla

(ETA: [kicks Endeavor in the shins] why do you hate fun!?)

who is talking?? are these prison stripes??

so is this the Takami guy narrating, then? just like we all predicted last week. ???

(ETA: so I saw all these people going “wtf is this Hawks’s dad??” and I was like “lol what” and it took me longer than I’d like to admit to put two and two together, but anyways, long story short, “Takami” just so happens to be Hawks’s recently revealed surname (with the same kanji and everything -- 鹰見). so while every instinct in my body is screaming at me “gtfo no way they’re related”, it is an extremely bizarre coincidence, so uh. ?? I got nothin’, basically.)

WHAT THE FUCK

IS THIS GUY STALKING THE TODOROKI HOUSE. ABOUT TO BREAK INTO TODOFELL IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT WHILE MY CHILDREN ARE ASLEEP!? CAN THEY JUST NOT CATCH A BREAK

also I will never understand villains who get all smug about being captured alive. “your one mistake was not killing me when you should have!” like okay, so you’re admitting you’re a piece of shit who should have died, and that the hero totally could have done it, but they were nice enough not to so SHAME ON THEM, apparently

anyways I really don’t understand what’s going on at all lol. some guy looked up to Endeavor and then got himself captured by him for some reason. let’s continue I guess

oh lord it keeps getting creepier

-- oohhhhhhhh shiiiiiiit, is this fucker about to air Endeavor’s dirty laundry?? is that what this is about?

AHHHHH

NATSU SWEETIE WHERE ARE YOUR SELF-PRESERVATION INSTINCTS?? IT IS NOT SAFE! and also what the fuck, does Endeavor just not have any security in his home at all? surely he must, if for no other reason than the fact that HE HAS KIDS and he’s not always at home! I have to imagine that any pro hero with a family understands that they’re a potential target for villains and would take precautions. I wonder if we’re about to see this sneaky guy get wrecked

(ETA: nope, Endeavor really has no security whatsoever and Natsu got snatched while waiting outside for his Uber. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he was too busy missing his brother and being sad to remember that he actually has a quirk himself. c’mon Natsu.

-- actually, come to think, props to Horikoshi for once again bucking the trend and having a guy be the one who gets kidnapped and becomes the damsel in distress. I’m just going to assume that had Fuyu been the one to get captured, Endeavor wouldn’t have even heard about it until he received a text from her with a picture of the guy encased in ice and a caption asking “so dad, uh, what should I do with this?”)

BUT FIRST, WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO THE TODOROKI KITCHEN, WHERE TODOBAKUDEKU ARE CURRENTLY HAVING TEA WITH FUYU BECAUSE SOMEBODY UP THERE LIKES ME YESSSSS

hhhglkohhhhh myyyyy godddddd

I KNOW!!! WHAT’S WITH THAT! WE’VE WAITED 250 FUCKING CHAPTERS PUTTING UP WITH YOUR SLY-ASS HINTS ALL “ALL RIGHT THEN, KEEP YOUR SECRETS” but is it finally time now? IS IT??!

Shouto says it’s not exactly an easy topic to bring up, and okay, fair. buuuut also, this is the same child who ambushed Deku in a corridor back when they barely knew each other and was all “let me tell you all about my dad’s quirk marriage and how he abused me and my mom and how I got this scar” so like. what exactly do you consider “easy to bring up” though

OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENINGGGGGGG

we’re getting DETAILS. ABOUT. TOUYA’S PAST fkdslfh holy motherfucking shitballs someone pinch me

she says it happened right after Rei got hospitalized, which yeah, we all figured based on the middle school uniform in the photo. so that definitely pins down his age then, doesn’t it? Shouto was six when that happened, so if Touya was in middle school he’d have been between 12 and 15. so it’s very likely then that he was 14, the exact same age as Fuyu, so therefore THE TWIN THEORY IS CONFIRMED! WE DID IT TUMBLR

anyways back to being sad though, because

can someone please hug this child?? what are you all even doing?! do you not see his face?? jesus christ

oh no oh my god are you serious are you

okay, before I go on to the next panel and commence FREAKING THE FUCK OUT, I need to stop here though, because the thought that the Todos actually were in the process of healing nine years ago and could have potentially been spared years of additional pain had it not been for this tragedy is. just. I fucking can’t. I need a minute here. god

anyway. so now on to the freaking out though, because

:) :))) :))))))) huh. you don’t say

(ETA: hmm in hindsight I promised freakouts and then all I did was go “:)” but please understand that the “:)” conveys so much more inner freaking out than words could possibly communicate. just picture me screaming and waving my arms around like a Kermit the frog gif okay.)

look at this you guys. this revelation is so stone cold fucking sober that it even got Katsuki to make an actual normal face for the first time in god knows how many chapters, wow

by the way, words can hardly express how much I appreciate that Katsuki is sitting here chilling out drinking tea with the rest of them and listening to this tale of woe and empathizing like a normal, well-adjusted person, though. I will never take that for granted. thank you character development gods. y’all are bros

anyways the face in question that Natsu was making is so fucking sad, and just. THEY ALL NEED HUGS. why is this family not in therapy

NO!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU SON OF A BITCH!! JUST LIKE THAT YOU’RE RIGHT BACK ON MY SHIT LIST, ENDEAVOR!! CHRIST ALMIGHTY ARE YOU SERIOUS, SO WE’RE REALLY JUST GONNA LEAVE OFF THERE? “LOL SO YEAH, NATSU STILL THINKS DAD KILLED OUR BROTHER AND THAT’S WHY ALL THE TENSION” and Deku and Kacchan just nod like that is in any way a satisfying explanation rather than an INCREDIBLY OMINOUS STATEMENT which only goes and raises about A BILLION MORE QUESTIONS OMG. “oh okay, so he hates your dad because he thinks that he murdered your mysterious other brother we’re only just now hearing about. say no more. no further context necessary” fucking -- 

listen, you two. where the fuck are your investigative skills?? SOME SCOOBY SQUAD YOU ARE!!

oh my goodness gracious

listen guys, things I was not expecting to check off my character development bucket list today: Katsuki joining the Fuyumi fanclub and bonding with her over recipes. I wasn’t even aware that was on my list. BUT IT SURE WAS, AND IT’S CHECKED NOW AND I LOVE IT

also love that Shouto tells Fuyu to just text the recipe to him, and then he will share it with Katsuki. because they are best friends

also Deku is the only one here with any manners at all but oh well. we all been knew

(ETA: though to be fair, Katsuki asking for the recipe is about as big a compliment as one can give to a chef, and it kind of serves as a combination “thanks for the meal” and “everything was really good” tbh. shit, now I want her recipe.)

fdlkjfg

... [reaches out to gently touch the panels] so soft

-- BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S EVEN SOFTER?

[faint sound of my heart imploding] ah

oh my god his face

and Katsuki’s face too. boy are you jealous. to think you were all “WHY THOUGH!?” coming here, only to walk away from it all with a kickass new mapo tofu recipe as well as a new person to add to your secret list of people you would literally die for. awwwwwww

and Shouto. omg. this is the most bashful panel I’ve ever seen. what a blessed chapter

anyway so now they’re all driving away (back to school?? I think he said?) and Endeavor’s talking to them about their upcoming schedule. so I guess they are heading back to school, then

anyway so he wants them to work the weekend as well as two weekdays? damn that’s a lot of class to be missing, he’s asking them to skip literally half the school week (since they have Saturday class too)

wow you guys look at this panel

takeaways from this: 1.) I honestly would have thought Deku would be the one tutoring other people in English, if anything. as of the midterms, he was above Shouto in academic rankings, but more importantly he’s also the biggest All Might fan on the planet, and All Might spent a lot of time in America in his youth and presumably speaks decent English himself, so you’d think Deku’s English would be passable just from his obsession alone. but I guess you just can’t beat that fancy private school education

and the other takeaway: Katsuki doesn’t like being squished in the backseat of a cramped Japanese car with Deku and Shouto. this one is absolutely shocking. I’m gonna need a moment to process this for sure. anyways poor Deku, he’s probably getting so many elbows to the ribs right now. I hope he elbows back

(ETA: actually the fact that Katsuki is apparently sticking his head out the window here in addition to complaining about the cramped conditions makes me wonder if he’s actually getting carsick. my poor baby do you need some dramamine.)

guys, meet Endeavor’s chauffeur

so anyway this is a bit sudden but I have a new favorite character now. life is funny like that. does he remind anyone else of Major Armstrong

wow Endeavor is answering the question seriously

okay but shit, I really fucking love this answer, though. he’s so matter-of-fact about it. because the thing is, the question isn’t really “when did you start baby-sitting a bunch of kids”; it’s “when did you actually start caring about something other than yourself?” and the answer is that it happened when he finally reached the top and realized the responsibility that went hand in hand with that role. it forced him to finally look past just himself, and to think about what it really means to be a hero. shit, I feel another essay coming on, but it’ll have to wait for some other time lol. we still have to see if Natsu’s going to make it out of this alive

anyway so now Armstrong is chuckling and saying that status really does change people huh, and they’re driving on into the night

OH SHIT

THAT’S A NICE SON YOU’VE GOT THERE, ENDEAVOR. IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF SOMEONE... okay you know what, I’m not sure where I was headed with that joke, but in any case I can’t finish it because this isn’t funny at all actually, this is actually SO FUCKING BAD oh shit oh shit

NATSUUUUU

oh no he’s so scared oh fuck. fuck. he’s only 19, he’s just a kid still. god. why do I always get so worked up over these parts. what am I doing reading a shounen manga if I can’t handle seeing kids in peril. HORIKOSHI PLEASE BE KIND TO MY BABIES

holy shit

okay, is this implying that Katsuki was sticking his head out of the window in that previous panel?? I realize more important things are happening and this is hardly the time to dwell on this, but jesus christ my kid is out here trying to get himself decapitated. boy what is wrong with you

anyway so now something is going "pop” and I have no idea. ??

(ETA: lol I guess it was Endeavor? you know, how Endeavor sometimes just goes “pop” for no reason. that’s just the sound someone makes when spontaneously bursting into flames.)

oh

far be it from me to start whipping out analogies about a mama bear and her cubs, but. damned if that ain’t what’s happening though. motherfucker, you mess with his kids? so would you like to die fast, or slow

so now some weird fucking shit is happening to the car, and I guess it’s this guy’s quirk again?

wow my man, so you’re really attacking the car with the three protagonists with SOMETHING TO PROVE in the backseat. you really do have a death wish

(ETA: on top of that, attacking the car mere minutes before the winter break ends, and with it, the deadline for “defeating a villain quicker than Endeavor.” HMMM anybody got some popcorn?)

now Endeavor is shouting “LET HIM GO!” because that’s what superheros shout when someone is being kidnapped

lol poor Natsu looks kind of awkward now

like, don’t get him wrong, he’s still scared for his life. but also he’s starting to get a bit of that same feeling that Katsuki and Deku were getting in the last chapter, like he’s suddenly found himself right in the midst of some grade A melodrama from which there is no escape. anyways don’t mind him, he’s just going to chill here in this big pile of bandages and see where this goes

so Endeavor is all “........... YOU’RE FROM SEVEN YEARS AGO!” and honestly that’s impressive. I guess the quirk is a pretty memorable one, though

wow now they’re suddenly being all coy with this guy’s name? what the hell

?? Natsu bud, I feel ya, this really is some awkward shit right here

ohhhh!

that’s the name of the chapter! well all right then, so at least that much makes sense now

so now Ending is apologizing to Endeavor, and wow, tons of essay fuel in these next two panels here

“you had so many things that I could never get” doesn’t this sound remarkably similar to Deku’s speech to Kacchan during their second fight at Ground Beta? huh

and also, I think we are slowly dancing closer and closer to the Thing Katsuki Lacks That He Needs To Learn From His Internship From Endeavor. what do you guys think? I have a lot of thoughts about this, but again, I’ll save it for another post seeing as shit is hitting the fan right now and all

OH SHIT

ARE YOU SERIOUS, OF ALL THE TIMES TO HAVE ANOTHER THIRTEEN PAGE CHAPTER! HORIKOSHI YOU ARE FUCKING KILLING ME HERE

well shit. okay so when he says “don’t make the same mistake twice”, he’s clearly talking about Endeavor letting him live the last time they met, but also I can’t help but feel like there might be some kind of double meaning here as well. the fact that he went from theft to kidnapping and attempted murder, on top of him mentioning earlier about how he went digging into Endeavor’s past, makes me wonder if he could possibly be trying to recreate a specific set of events. or is that crazy??

but just, hear me out. what if something similar to this went down before, with Touya perhaps being taken hostage by a villain (though it couldn’t have been the same guy because the timing is off, and also Endeavor didn’t recognize him right off the bat), and Endeavor making some critical mistake which resulted in him failing to save him, and Natsu then blaming him for that and holding him responsible for the death. honestly that makes the most sense to me, since I would think that “literally murdered his own kid” would be kind of a deal-breaker as far as the rest of the family ever reconciling with him. so yeah, this could get very interesting here

(ETA: hoo boy, so I’ve been browsing the bnha tags a bit, and it seems that a lot of people are interpreting the hints in this chapter very differently from me lol. I admit I could certainly be wrong about the “don’t make the same mistakes” bit having a double meaning. but like, do we really believe that Endeavor just straight up murdered his son and got away with it, or that it was covered up or something? or that he drove Touya to suicide? I think it’s much more likely that Touya pushed himself too hard, or that he accidentally got caught up in one of Endeavor’s attacks, or something along those lines.

what really struck me, though, was that a lot of people actually seem to be hoping for it to come out that Endeavor really is responsible, though. like, to the point where they’re prepared to be outraged if it turns out he’s not, and this part of the story doesn’t end up conforming to the narrative of Endeavor just being a sinister cartoon villain. and like, I don’t really know what to say about that. except that I really hate this idea that if an abuser is ever portrayed as something other than a heartless monster then it’s super-problematic and/or just bad writing. that Endeavor not murdering his son = Horikoshi endorses child abuse. or something. anyways I don’t have the spoons to really throw my hat into the ring here, but basically my opinion is that life is rarely just black and white in that way, and this story reflects that, and I think it’s absolutely the right call to make and is actually very good writing and I respect it. 

and also like, it’s not some all-or-nothing thing here where he’s either a perfect saint, or the worst person to ever exist! what he is is a man who made some terrible choices in the past and abused and hurt the very people he should have loved and protected the most. and what he is, also, is a man who has realized the awfulness of the things he’s done, and is trying his best now to be a good person. what he is is a human being. and acknowledging that doesn’t mean that you condone the abuse; it simply means that you acknowledge that people are made up of more than just the worst things they’ve done in their lives. that’s it.

anyways, for all of my “not gonna through my hat into the ring” nonsense, I’m doing a pretty good impression of exactly that, so I’ll shut up now. damn you Endeavor and your controversy-sparking ways. what kind of psychopath looks at the fucking BnHA fandom and says “not bad, but you know what this place could use? more discourse.” you knew exactly what you were doing, you fiend.)

anyways I’m going to hope and assume that Natsu isn’t actually about to meet his end here at the hands of this bestriped man and his peculiarly thematic villain name and sinister bandage arrows (are they bandages?? maybe not since they seem pretty solid and he’s threatening to stab Natsu in the eye with one. idk). and for all of my joking earlier, this guy actually does appear to have a real, genuine death wish since he keeps talking about how Endeavor should have killed him before. so in addition to all this other drama, toss in an attempted suicide by cop as well! this fucking arc, man. goddamn

[boogiewrites]

Choking On Sapphires 85

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)

Title & Song: Breakdown

Summary: Genevieve’s behavior comes to a head and Alfie is forced to act as the harsh voice of reason. He's left to act in his personal life as he does in his business where he does the things no one else wants or is willing to. But he'd do anything for his Genny. Song is Breakdown by Tom Petty.

Warnings/Tags: Language. References to assault and violence. PTSD. Angst. Drug Abuse. Trauma. Self Hatred. Fighting, verbal and physical. 

Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.) Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT!

There had been a shift in the energy of the house after Claire and Genevieve’s altercation. Genevieve was trying to behave but finding it nearly impossible. The pull of the promise of relief from her medicine was too seductive to deny for long. Each dose was reacted to like some rare delicacy, with closed eyes and moans. She couldn’t control herself. Her mind was crowded with so much the more time passed. More memories and complicated waves of emotions she didn’t understand, left her feeling overpowered no matter what she did.

She was trying and it could be seen by everyone, but she would drop everything for her medicine and it was obvious there was still dependence there no matter how little they gave her. A nervous tick when it got close to the time for it, nose twitching and eyes fluttering, trying to stay still and waiting for someone to mention it because she knew she couldn’t first. Then she’d be given that look again, and she hated the humiliation that came with it.

She tries to fill the shame, the hurt and the anger with something. She studies, but that leads to headaches and a sore throat. She paints and the things that come out are dark and twisted and make those around her uncomfortable and worry about her. She dresses up, trying to see herself how she was, but it all felt like a sham. There was no confidence where it once lived. She eats and bakes, finding a productive distraction and gaining a slight bit of weight from where she’d lost it. But her appetite was still lackluster, the medicine saw to that. She wasn’t ready to try to add her former most favorite vice, sex, to the list but at least she could fathom the idea of it without becoming physically ill. Maybe things were getting better. But the voice in her head told her no as soon as the thought passed. That she was still very much broken and a failure, feeling slow in both mind and body still it was hard for her to be positive about anything. The depression was starting to set in.

With a memory that left something to be desired still, she’s grown the tendency to be forgetful. Clumsy and forgetful was preferred to hallucinating and passed out to everyone but her. The constant state of being aware of controlling herself left her exhausted most days and always on edge. She has the occasional tantrum, it couldn’t be helped, and with the lack of medicine given to help her calm down, it only made her angrier and fueled the fire of her fits. They were less often now, but more intense when they did happen. Big sweeping mood swings that took her wherever they wanted and she was was left to be used by her whims, whether the actions she took were something she wanted to do or not. They left her a crying mess. She only wanted to feel normal again. She didn’t know who this woman was that she’d become. She hates the anger she felt about her cravings for the medicine. She hates the flux of the ups and downs from it, but in her desperate moments, it’s the only thing that gives her some stability. She didn’t want to need it the way she did, another layer of anger born from shame. She felt weak and that was something she didn’t have much experience with.

On an afternoon spent dressing herself up for no reason, just passing time and listening to music to keep herself in good spirits she’s met with an undiagnosed stressor that had slipped between the cracks. A gossip hound by the name of Dorothy who did not have Genevieve’s best interests at heart. She was paid for information, not to tell that she was doing better. A saboteur sent in by one of the posh Jewish elite who did not approve of the Alfie and Gen’s underground lifestyle. Striking while the iron was hot and they were both at the most vulnerable they’ve ever been, Dorothy was there to make sure things didn’t run too smoothly for too long. Coming from the former biggest gossip in all of London’s employ, she knew how to stir a pot. And poor Gen, trusting those around her, as she had no other choice but to in her condition, never saw it coming.

“The horn section is lovely isn’t it?” Dorothy states, dusting around the gramophone.

The use of the word makes Gen’s nose twitch just as the maid knew it would. “Yes it is.” she answers with fluttering eyes and reaching for her large powder puff to fan herself with.

“I say, you’re looking rather glowing today, Miss. Like an inner light is coming out. I’m sure Mr. Solomons loves that you’re putting forth the effort in your appearance, hmm?” she makes casual sounding backhanded compliments as she moves around the room.

She sees Gen’s body language tighten and she keeps smiling as she works.

“You’ve put on some weight too I see. Filling out nicely. Looking healthy. All good things.” she chirps. “One would think there could be a little Solomons on the way with how you’re looking.” she gives an innocent scrunch of her nose and a kind smile. “Absolutely radiant.” she ends with a flourish. “And wouldn’t a baby be lovely? An excuse for all those sweets you’ve been making!” she lets out a light-hearted laugh. “Afterall, not many men would’ve stayed around through all this. You’re so very lucky to have Mr. Solomons. What a patient man.” she speaks softly.

“Yes. I am.” she mumbles, face turning downward now.

“Well, I’m finished in here. Anything else you need miss?” she asks putting a hand to Gen’s shoulder.

“No. Thank you.” she replies softly, eyes not meeting the maids, staring at her reflection in the vanity mirror.

“I don't care what anyone else says, I think you’re progressing just fine.” she gives a supportive nod. “Especially for what you’ve been through. My goodness. What a tragedy to befall such a woman who had such strengths. Surely a test. One you’re still working on mastering. We’re all waiting and watching...rooting for you Miss Durand. Have a good afternoon.” she says trotting out of the room, knowing the seeds were planted to make an eventful evening.

Every line had felt like a slap to the face for Gen. Every worry she had, some she hadn’t yet, all brought back out to the surface in a single conversation. If Gen had been herself she would’ve been impressed with the woman’s skill. Then she would have killed her of course for saying such things, but in this emotional state, she only felt sorry for herself. She looked at herself in the mirror. Were her breasts bigger? Was she getting too fat? Everyone was waiting for her to screw up again, she knew it. Apparently people were saying she wasn’t healing fast enough, but of course, they were. She wasn’t. And poor Alfie...he had been on the sidelines, merely a bystander in all this. It truly was a miracle he was still around. At this point he would be better off without her she thinks. She was only making his life harder.

Her eyes trail down to her stomach and she feels it flip with nausea. She had asked the doctor every time they were alone if her not bleeding was normal. There were no signs of pregnancy he said and the body can react wildly after trauma. That there was nothing he saw to worry about. But it didn’t stop the panic rising in her chest and bubbling up and out her throat in a choked sob. What if she was? What if a constant reminder of her weakness and this awful period of time we’re sitting right there. Taking root. It was her greatest fear and Dorothy had played into it seamlessly. All she had wanted before was to be pregnant. A happy accident, despite her timing the inward emissions of Alfie in her favor. Her mind had been all babies and happy thoughts attached and now it was of shame and upset. By far the biggest trigger of them all. She thinks of the children she’s seen. Wondering if they were a sign. Her dreams came true on occasion, so why not hallucinations?

Her hands clutch at the dress she wears, feeling sick rise in her throat. She gets intrusive thoughts of the time held captive again. Blood. So much blood. These were new, these weren’t her normal violent flashbacks, her eyes well up with tears and she starts to sob, feeling it all over again. Why was there so much blood she wondered? She feels it as if it’s real. Blood thick and caked on her skin, from her temples to her thighs, the sticky and awful feeling, the constant reminder of how battered she was. The constant worry there was too much of it, that was something was wrong with her. That panic takes hold of her and she starts wheezing, not catching her breath, holding her chest and gasping. She raises, wild-eyed and tries to make it to the bed to lie down, count like the doctor told her. But it was no use. This was too strong and she was too weak she thought. She knew what she needed.

She races in her tiny heels to the back innards of teh house to Aggie’s room. She’s in such a state she doesn’t hear Alfie calling for her as he sees her making a mad dash. Of course, his instinct is something is terribly wrong. And in a way it was, so he follows suit. He finds her on her knees with one of her hairpins in Aggie’s locked door.

His worry is replaced with hot anger, having to watch Gen give in and relapse in front of his eyes. “Gen!” he booms out and she doesn’t even notice. She barrels through the door and rummages loudly through Aggie’s things, finding the bottle of Morphine and finding it severely lacking in its contents.

She whimpers and whines, shaking it over her gaping mouth as she cries, mascara running down her face. She keeps wheezing, now at a total loss for how to handle herself.

Alfie barges in like a bull, one big swipe knocks the bottle out of her hands and it breaks against the wall. Her eyes turn large and terrified to him, but he doesn’t feel sympathy in the moment, only disappointment and anger. “Fuck’s sake Genevieve! Get ahold of yourself!” he says loudly as she cries, looking back over to where the bottle had broken.

“I can’t! I need it! I need it to STOP!” she wails loudly her head shaking back and forth dramatically.

“Gen!” he shouts again and she doesn’t stop, hands in her hair and groaning.

She was so desperate to make the fear and thoughts stop. But she just saw him there, silhouetted by that shifting yellow light over her. “I’m too weak. I can’t. I’m pathetic. It won't stop.” she pants, her face contorted into an ugly mash of pain and confusion.

“Get ahold of yourself woman!” he shouts, grabbing her tightly by the arms, making her stop hurting herself.

The rough handling of her snaps her from her self pity and kicks in her fight response. Her head snaps up, eyes dilated and black, intense as they glared into his own. “Don’t touch me!” she screams and struggles.

“I can’t fuckin’ trust you can I? Ya gonna fuckin’ hurt yaself!” he growls back as they wrestle back and forth. She was a lot stronger in the moment that he thought she could be in her condition.

“Stop it!” she fights back, kicking at him as he holds her up from falling and hurting herself, hitting something on the way down to the ground.

“No!” he yells angrily. “Look at you! Gen! Fuckin’ ‘ell girl CALM DOWN!” he roars, having to haul her back onto her feet.

She stops struggling and stands, face now full of betrayal as she shakes with the underlying anger.

“You need to get a grip on yaself Genny! Look at you! Why are you actin’ like this? Like a fuckin’ fiend! Are we going to have to lock you up next? Can you not be trusted anymore?” he asks with a low brow and harsh delivery.

“Let me go.” she demands, struggling against him mildly, her eyes looking more her old self in their fury.

“Fuckin’...NO! Why would I? Look at how you’re actin’! What is wrong with you?” he groans out loudly as her jaw clenches and she slaps him across the face, resulting in him very calmly letting her go and clenching his hands into fists at his sides. His nostrils flared and his eyes remained shut. He wasn’t going to hit her back. He wasn’t that sort of man. But she was bringing out the worst in him. They were bringing out the worst in each other.

“Don’t fucking touch me like that!” she shrieks, adjusting her dress. “I have a reason for acting this way! What about YOU?” she responds, shoving him out of the way and running off down the hall.

With her dress pulled high, she needed to escape. She needed out and away. She heads straight for the door, Joseph tottering after her as the staff had gathered cautiously to see what was happening.

“We’re going to London Joseph.” she announces with wild eyes and confidence to her face she hadn’t felt and no one had seen in some time.

“Miss I don’t think-”

“You are going to drive me to London or I will fucking DO IT MYSELF!” she screams as he hunches down and does as he’s told. What other choice did he have? “I’m not staying here. I can’t. I need to get out of my own head. I can’t stay. I can’t do it.” she mutters to herself, head shaking back and forth as they drive off as were her orders.

“Why are you just standing there! Go after her!” Aggie shouts in Alfie’s face, him standing where Gen had left him as he rubbed his temples.

“Send some of my boys after her. Watch her. We know what she’s fuckin’ doin’.” he shakes his head, his voice quiet and even.

“How are you so bloody calm?”

“Aggie... sweetie... calm is the last thing I am right now.” his voice was a deep hiss, his eyes almost hidden behind low brows. “But I...in my line of work have MUCH practice in withholding my true emotions. And I am using it to its full extent right now.” his jaw is tight, speaking through clenched teeth as he cracks his knuckles.

“But she’s ran away?”

“No. She’s going to get well pissed. That’s what she’s doin’. There wasn't enough of this fuckin’ JUNK to ease her and now she’s reverting to her immature behavior.”

“She’s not well Alfie, you need to remember.”

“IT’S ALL I FUCKIN THINK ABOUT YEAH?” he shouts in anger before composing himself and Aggie takes a step back. “I want to be so fuckin’ furious at her for this. I know I should be sympathetic. I know she’s not herself. But I am so close to just fucking off right now. And I know I don’t want to do that. And it’s all making me MORE angry because I can’t fuckin' control it. I control things Aggie, that’s what I fuckin’ DO. And I can’t her, right?”

“Neither can she. Remember that.”

“Oh, I do. And it just makes it worse.” he throws his arms up in the air. “I’ll go get her. Fuckin’... AGAIN.” he sighs and shakes his head. “I was prepared, yeah? To deal with the healing. I can grasp that. I can respect it. But this…” he motions to the broken bottle on the floor. “I’m having a bloody hard time respecting this.” he says with a groan. “This is just... weakness. This isn’t her. She’s not Gen when she’s on this shit.” he tells, walking around the bed and crunching the glass under his work boots. “There’s no more of this. Fuck that!” he says pointing to the same spot. “I’m done wif it. I ‘on’t care if the doctor says it’s helpin’, it’s fuckin’ not, right? Don’t get no more. Those are orders. You hear me? I know you’re soft Aggie but it’s time for some tough love for the old girl. Don’t ya think?” he asks, leaning over the small woman as she scrunches her face in a scowl. “This soft fuckin’ treatment innit doin’ a fuckin’ thing. She HATED bein’ coddled before. Remember? Do any of us ever remember fuckin’ BEFORE now?” he sighs and groans, rubbing his face.

“Yes sir.” she says coldly.

“Oh don’t give me that.” he responds with an aggressive nod. “Do you not think it’s time to reign her in?”

“I do. But I don’t like it.”

“Well, I ‘on’t fuckin’ LIKE it either! You think I want to be cruel to her? The woman I’ve promised to care for? To respect and protect?”

“It’s hard to tell with you lately.”

“Well, I fuckin’ don’t. But with someone like her…” he points in the direction Gen fled. “In a situation like this, perhaps sympathy isn’t what is needed. She needs a swift kick to the arse to make her see how she’s actin’. And I’m the only one what will tell her what she don’t wanna hear.”

“I hope you’re right. I’ll call the doctor and tell him no more medicine. In case she tries to get it herself.”

“Good girl.” he says giving her a strong pat the back and sauntering down the hall with hard steps that make his shoulder sway even more than usual.

-----

Genevieve had done exactly as Alfie knew she would. His men were out on alert for her in the city and they found her quickly. Out getting pissed at some east end shit hole where she didn’t have to pay for a thing.

“Alright. She’s had enough.” Alfie instructs, putting his watch back into his coat pocket. “Bring her out.” he orders with a flick of his wrist. “Be gentle but...make her. Try to appeal to her vanity. That usually works.” he states with a stern point of his finger to the lads given the job.

Gen, of course, did not want to leave. She didn’t want to see Alfie or hear about him or any man really. She wanted to be lost in the sounds and movements and be young and wild and free again. But the reality that she could no longer be any of those things, truly, would always come knocking. And in this instance, it was a few of the big boys of Alfie’s she knew. The muscle.

“Miss it’s time to go.” one says in her ear.

“No.” she declares defiantly. Like a child, really.

“Miss I must insist. We’re here on Mr. Solomons orders.”

“Fuck his orders.” she sass’s back and turns away and he takes her by the arm.

“We can take you out of here kicking and screaming but what would the gossip sound like if word were to get around, eh? So why don’t you walk out with us, and no one has to be any wiser as to what’s happening.”

She gives him a look that would normally make him worry, as he had heard about the things she’d done. “Don’t fuckin' touch me.” she growls, jerking out his grip. “Where is the bastard?” she spits out as she begins walking towards the door.

He waits, and it does take longer than expected. But there she came, mad as a wet cat, stomping, and hissing just the same towards his vehicle. She was uneasy on her feet, not stumbling but a drunken sway that told him he’d stopped her at just the right time.

He sits in silence, his hat on, cane in hand and posture straight as he makes her sit with her thoughts as they travel down the road. He eventually turns towards her and she’s pouting out the window.

“Gen, look at me.” he orders.

She, of course, doesn’t even acknowledge him. Sitting with her arms crossed and body language very clear she wanted nothing to do with him.

“Genevieve…” he warns. “Can you even hear me? Ya fuckin’ pissed innit ya?” he scoffs and waits.

She lets out a defiant huff through her nose.

“Fuckin’ look at me, woman.” he moves and takes her by the chin. He met with glossy and unfocused eyes and pouting lips. “Look at you…” he shames her and her lip quivers. “Fuckin’ mess.” he tsks and shakes his head. “Can you even respond to me ya little drunkard?” she speaks nothing and tries to move out of his grasp but he’s holding onto her too tightly. “Fuck’s sake Genny.” he presses his lips and sighs.

“I can.” she snaps back. “But what’s the fucking point?” she snarls.

“Because I asked you a fucking question dinnit I? Because you should explain this childish behavior. You’re not a fucking child. You’re not even that young, you’re a grown woman. You know better.” he speaks intensely but with a smooth delivery that makes her wants to slap him again. He was being too condescending. So patronizing it made her sick.

“Clearly I don’t.” she ejects back with a rough turn of her head that knocks her chin out of his grasp. He returns it slowly to the top of his cane.

“You’re some fuckin' junkie now and you’re just gonna give up? One bad thing happens and you just roll over and let your jellied brain just fuck you, eh?” he delivers harshly, knowing the words would hurt her, but it was his role to put the wild thing in her place before, and it only made sense he’d be the one now. He could handle her hating him. More people hated him than liked him, it wasn’t a bother to him. He knew that if she’d see a true relfection of herself, that she’d thank him one day for the honesty.

“One thing?” she shouts. “One fucking thing?” her voice cracks with emotion as she begins speaking with her hands. “My life has been nothing but bad things Alfie!” her voice was exhausted. ”One after another. Every fucking day!” she turns on her knees and screams at him. “I was there for DAYS, the things they did to me?! And you want to say it was ONE thing?” her French accent comes out, her finger pointing in his face as she let go of all that was building up inside her that the Morphine wouldn’t let her feel or communicate. “When you know how I was raised? What my father and his friends did to me? The kind’ve men I’ve had to get close to? The shit I’ve had to eat because of being a woman. ONE THING?” she screams in his face.

“And what good is complainin' and throwin’ a tantrum like a fuckin' little girl gonna do, eh?” he keeps his calm, and it makes her angrier. He should be as upset as her she thought. It wasn’t fair he got to be unbothered and she was left a mess.

“Fuck you Alfie!” she barks, sitting back and crossing her arms, looking out the window.

“I’d rather hear that then you feeling sorry for yourself.” he snarks with a raised brow. He was proud of her, actually. This was the most she’d talked about what had happened. She needed to feel these feelings, get them all out and that medicine had stopped it, stunted her and left her in an emotional purgatory.

“We can’t all have steel traps up here can we?” she replies, tapping her temple “We can’t all be fuckin’...made of stone and just push forward no matter what happens. Some of us are SOFT and FEEL things.” she answers with a quieter voice, but that did not mean she was less angry.

“If you think I don’t feel things you’ve not been payin’ attention.” his voice even, and lips pursed.

“So your reaction to my problem is to shake me and shout at me? To give me barked orders like a dog?” she questions incredulously.

“You haven’t listened to anythin' else.” he gives her a side-eyed glance and he can feel the heat radiating off her towards him.

“What else have you tried lately Alfie? Huh? I don’t even remember when I first came home, and I don’t remember you being soft with me once as of late. You’ve just given me that… fuckin’... look.”

“A look?” he answers a mild chortle.

“Yes like that! Like a disappointed father. Like you don’t even want me anymore. I’m just some burden to you.”

“Genny this behavior is a burden for a man like me.” he speaks plainly and it cuts her like a knife.

“Then why don’t you just fucking leave? If you hate me so much?” her eyes welling up with tears now, the anger shifting into hurt.

“I don’t hate you, but you’re actin' like a daft cu-.” he sighs. “I don’t hate you. If I did I wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn’t have been dealing with the things I have for you... from you.” he answers with a curt tone, his hand laying out his point as he spoke.

“Do you think what a woman like me needs right now is cold indifference?” her head shakes back and forth, in disbelief at how he was speaking to her.

“I don’t know what the fuck you need any more to be honest. This whole thing has turned you into someone I don’t know.” his eyes were more honest now, she recognized it.

“I could say the same.” she glares back, hiding the swell of emotions inside her. She didn’t want to break down again. She didn’t want him to have the satisfaction. And that was exactly what he had wanted out of her. He didn’t care if she had to use him and spite for him to gain the want to control herself. He just wanted her to control herself.

She sulks the whole way home, the anger fading, turning to sadness with the tiredness that overtook her body. He followed her into the bed room, as if nothing was wrong.

“Why are you staying around me?” she snaps as he sees the softness in her face.

“Because I have to, love.” he replies as he takes off his coat. He knew another flare was incoming.

“Why are you being so mean?” her hard exterior breaks and tears start to fall.

“You want to know? Truly? Can you handle it Genevieve?” he asks with a mean face that shows so sympathy for her tears.

She nods, “Yes. I can.” she says defiantly through tears.

He takes a deep breath and gives her the truth. “Because I just want my Genny back.” he admits with a shake of his head. The brief softness in his eyes making a sob bubble up in her throat. “I don’t know who this drugged up woman is that runs off in the middle of the night.” his voice lacked bite, but still felt harsh as it came out. “You did it once, and I was sympathetic, your sister passin’ ‘n all. But not with this. Not after all this time.” his face hardens, straightening his posture and looking her up and down, judging her. “You’re smarter than this Gen.” he says with exasperation. “You aren’t who I agreed to be with right now. And I just fuckin’ want some relief, I just want my Genny back, love, that’s all.” his brow was hard, his words even more so as they hit her in the chest like a kick.

“I am your Genny.” she sobs, voice so small. Her heart was broken, her faults laid out plainly for her to see. She could no longer ignore them. “I am. I’m just... I’m…” she breaks down and begins to cry. The fog she’d been in gone, the cold reality of her behavior hitting her now. Feeling every little thing, most importantly shame for the right reasons for the first time since the incident.

“But you’re not though are ya?” he leans towards her, his face still cold to her. “You’re not her right now, sweetie. Cause my Genny? She wouldn’t do any of 'is.” he motions to her, half bent and sobbing into her hands as he begins to walk away to leave her to her catharsis.

“I am your Genny!” she shouts and her voice breaks and cries, tears and snot and the whole mess, months of backed up and delayed revelations coming at her, feeling alone and ashamed. She watches him leave the bedroom as she calls out, not seeing the hurt on his own face for putting her through this. But he knew it had to be done, it was his role to be the one to do the things no one else wanted or could.

He sleeps in his old room that night, giving her time to wail it all out. And she did. She cried herself sick. But she didn’t drink, she didn’t ask for medicine, she didn’t ask for anything. She sat in front of the fire, thinking about the past few months and let out everything in wails and sobs. A cleansing she’d desperately needed.

——-

The next morning Alfie's conscience is weighing heavy. It didn’t happen often and he hated the feel of it. But he’d slept like shit and heard her crying all night and had to deal with the dirty looks from Aggie and Claire as he rose from the spare room. He wanders into the kitchen, asking for Genevieve’s favorite tea and sweets. It isn’t questioned and he shuffles his way to her room with the serving tray balanced in his hands. House shoes scuffing the stone floors while his pajamas slicked together from the soft fabric Gen insisted on them being.

She’s asleep in the floor, laid out on pillows and blankets in front of a dying fire. Her hair was covering her face and most of her body, a silk nightgown just visible underneath the veil. He stokes the fire and feeds it, then standing over her and clearing his throat, causing her to stir.

She whines and rubs her face, pushing her hair out of the way of seeing before focusing her eyes on his shoes.

“Oh.” She says sleepily, “It’s you.” She lets him know she wasn’t too keen on seeing him.

“I brought ya your tea and biscuits.” He offers in a friendly voice. Much more polite than anything they exchanged the night before.

“Thanks.” She grumbles, pulling herself off the floor and onto the couch.

“Would you like me to make your tea? Fetch you a robe?” He inquires.

“No.” She answers quickly, moving to prepare her tea herself. “I don’t want to be fucking coddled.” She forced out through a smart tongue.

He doesn’t find himself annoyed at her behavior. Even though that was clearly the case for her towards him. She was a crumpled, sickly looking mess but she was indeed herself. And that’s all he’d wanted. He’d missed that spark, that justified emotion, even anger towards him. He knew she was feeling more herself with her demand and he felt a small glimmer of hope.

“How are you feeling this mornin'?” He inquires with a tilted head her way.

“Like hell.”

“You do favor it, sweetie.” He says with a rub of his chin.

She raises her eyes in a glare his way but finds his face not aggressive. ”You look just as well Alfie.” She snarls back.

“I’d not only agree but say I feel much the same.” He nods and purses his lips I’m hesitant agreement.

“I’m going through withdrawal and dealing with a bastard of a ma What’s your excuse?”

“Dealing with a woman going through withdrawl and being a right bastard.” He retorts.

She actually felt inclined to smile at the remark. That would’ve been the first in months. The first non-drug induced one anyway. Normally the comment would’ve been met with a laugh and a little pinch of the cheeky man. Perhaps even a kiss for the self-deprecating humor. But all he saw was a flash of sarcasm in her eyes, but that was indeed enough to satiate him for now. A “Mmph.” nodded is all he is given in the meantime.

“Do you need anythin' this mornin'?” He asks cautiously. She always asked for her medicine with breakfast when it was not freely given.

“No.” She sighs out, teacup resting on her thigh. “I’m afraid I don’t have an appetite for much of anything else anymore.” Her voice is even but her hands shake. Her color was poorly, dark circles under her eyes and a pale complexion. A light cast of sheen from sweat on her skin. Her stomach growls and she rubs it with a wince. “Just send Aggie in. I’m feeling rather weak in the absence of the medicine and I’ll be taking to my bed today I believe.” She rises and puts the back of her hand to her mouth for a moment, nausea sweeping about her insides.

“Will do, love.” He says with a polite bow. “Any cause to call the doctor?”

“No. There’s nothing he can do for this.” She shakes her head. “I’ll just have to suffer until it’s out of my system. And what is more suffering for a woman like me?” She shrugs and looks his way. She was tired, bless her, in so many meanings of the word.

“It is nothing for a strong woman.” He states supportively.

She lets out an amused laugh, a single forced exhale of “Ha.” A scoff really. “When I see one I will be sure to give her my problems.” She rolls her eyes and rubs her stomach again as it growl and squeals.

“Mirrors in the bathroom.” He motions and she shoots him a side-eyed glance. “If you need me further I’ll be only a phone call away.”

“I won’t require you.” She answers curtly, not looking his way. It was the first time she’d not pouted when he mentioned leaving.

“I will be home for tea. Perhaps you will feel up to having it with me?” He questions as he moves toward the door.

“Perhaps.” She calls out in response. She pauses in the bathroom doorway as he does the same to the hall. “Perhaps not.” She says with a shrug and an almost sarcastic face.

He only gives her a nod in response, shutting the door behind him. He should’ve felt a burn of her being cold. But he didn’t. He knew she’d be mad with him for some time. But he was ready to weather it. She could be as angry as she liked, didn’t matter to him. Not when their well being, their business, and her recovery were at stake. He’d take all the anger from her in the world to get his Genny back.

Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT!

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[melissatreglia]

Did You Miss Me?: Darkiplier in 2018

For the most part, 2018 was a quiet year. In contrast with 2017, where we were gratified to see Dark's monochromatic visage throughout the year, 2018 carried playful hints and teasing of the elusive entity's presence but no confirmation. There were thumbnails and quick flashes that indicated He was continuing to pull strings, ensuring that His presence was felt but His face never really seen.

Throughout 2017, He'd show up during what us mere mortals consider major holidays or important events. Valentine's Day. Easter. Even Cinco de Mayo got a nod. And of course, the infamous Friday the 13th late in the year.

But 2018? He apparently decided to stay home in the void during our days of revelry, with the possible (though not confirmed) exception of the decidedly strange Fall in Love with Markiplier video for Valentine's Day. And for the TWO Friday the 13ths in 2018? He was a no-show. In 2017, He'd returned to shake things up in our safe little lives... and in 2018, He left us wanting more, like the skilled manipulative seducer He is.

Getting Over It, Part 8 included a thumbnail with Mark's dour expression and a suspiciously familiar colour scheme. The thumbnail for WATCH OUT!! had Mark reaching for us in a state of panic (which belied the contents of the video itself). 

Try Not to Smile Challenge #3, while the smile-free serial killer laugh is creepy, it's not a Darkiplier moment. Though, him joking near the end of the video that people who didn’t smile at some point during the video are "soulless demons" does seem to be a Darkiplier reference of some kind (or maybe a Devilplier reference, since the Cuphead song was released just two months later)?

In Madison, when his game character watches a television that glitches and fades to static, Mark fearfully squeaks, "Darkiplier, is that You?!" While in the description for End My Suffering, just ten days later, Mark wailed, "What malevolent being did I piss off to be cursed like this!"

Brother Wake Up promised "I’ll try to help in whatever way I can but you have to wake up!" Which, while it fit perfectly with the title of the game, the description also fit pretty damn well into the channel lore too. And Umfend's description was likewise ominous: "You shouldn't have forgotten about me... I'll make you remember..."

Meanwhile, the title for the video of Welcome The The Game 2.0 doubles as a callback to an earlier Darkiplier moment: "Don't Play This Game". Horns of Fear did it one better, with the thumbnail featuring many eyes staring out at the viewer (again with an all-too-familiar colour scheme), while the title warned us "DON'T LOOK AWAY..."

In the Warframe playthrough late in the year, Mark's camera briefly freezes. But in 3 Scary Games #9, his camera freezes repeatedly before glitching back to normal, and he implies that "there's something else" messing with the camera. In 5 Nostalgic Games, when Mark gives the definition of ubiquitous and bares his teeth while saying "We're learning today!", the video suddenly glitches. 

The thumbnail for Markiplier has fled the country had Mark lunging at the camera, his face completely darkened by shadow. And the thumbnail for 3.75 Scary Games blatantly toyed with the fandom with text shouting "DARKIPLIER?"

And the fanbaiting didn't stop there. More thumbnails that hinted at Dark included a hand bathed in blue light reaching out to the viewer for the fittingly titled The Devil Haunts Me, and a cartoon of Mark cowering away from Dark's furious glare for You're Perfect.  

Markiplier's Tour: The Movie featured the improv teacher stating that Markiplier wasn't at the shows. "I don't know who that guy was, but it wasn't him." Even the Markiplier Animated short I've Got Boobs?! features a brief scene of a shadowy Darkiplier rising from a well and whispering something unintelligible.

For the most part however, the teasing came directly from out of Mark’s mouth.

In 3 Scary Games #5, Mark jokes that a ghost (clad in the classic white sheet and glitching somewhat) is Darkiplier. 3 Scary Games #13, the first (jokey) game called "Death Trips" features RGB text and Mark narrating in an echoing voice. In Midnight Shift, a game where Mark is memorably being chased by mannequins, he jokes that an RGB poster on a wall is "expricitly [sic] Darkiplier". In SCP Containment Breach #57, Mark jokes when he sees the intro screen of a pretty lady in 3D with an open third eye, "Look at this Darkiplier ass thing... it's like Celine, straight out of [Who Killed Markiplier?]". 

In 3 FNAF Fan Games, he even chortles that the game has “Darkiplier letters.” In Devil Daggers, he scoffs, “A high-pitched ringing in the darkness. That’s always good.”

[Image captured by me, on June 3, 2018.] 

Just before midsummer, I received a pleasant surprise. In Imscared: Steam Edition, Mark says "I gotta go get back into the Shadow Realm, the Upside Down." Which, personally, made me very happy at the time. Since I first became active on Tumblr in July 2017, I've been referring to Dark's void dimension as the Shadow Realm, while Mark has referred to it in the past as the Upside Down, making the link fairly clear in this statement. (Somehow, whether by happy accident or serendipity, my terminology and its proper context made its way to Mark. As a fan, I can't describe how pleased that made me, to know he might have actually seen something I’ve made.)

(But enough about me. I’m just an obsessive Darkiplier fangirl. So let’s get back to cataloging all the hinty goodness!)

By this point, you’re probably wondering, “Okay, so all those hints are decent. But where the hell is Dark in all of this?!” But that’s the point, my friends: He was there the whole time. In brief flashes of imagery, in hints and innuendo. Unseen, but his presence clearly felt as our expectations were played with by our channel host.

We expected a wild ride at the beginning, when Mark made two brief livestreams on January 5th, wandering through the theatre he was slated to play for the You’re Welcome Tour. 

The first of the two, “What’s Going In?!”, he showed us the back area of the Paramount Theatre, using only improvised narration and acting to build an atmosphere of dread. He claimed the theatre was haunted, and that he could smell “the scent of death”, ultimately vowing to protect those who would be visiting the theatre to see him that night. He also declares the EXIT a trap, before being pursued by an unseen entity.

The drama continued with “...” (a title that is impossible to find using Youtube’s search options), that begins with an eerie quiet. Tyler eventually finds Mark’s dropped phone. He asks the viewers where Mark is, before going on a search. He’s eventually attacked from behind and the stream cuts off, leaving those who weren’t at the show that night to wonder how the matter resolved.

In Simulacra, there's a brief flash of Mark in his Big Mood outfit with text saying "WAKE UP". When the simulacra changes the colour of the cellphone's display and begins to speak in a calm, creepy voice, Mark reflexively responds, "Darkiplier?" and sounding unnerved at the mention of "behind your black mirrors", then being stunned as the screen appears to crack.

At the end of Simulacra, he gives an uncharacteristically downbeat speech, declaring that "We're all just digital copies of ourselves, idealized in a digital form. And maybe that's the way that life is just supposed to be. Maybe we should all just roll over and accept it, because there's nothing that we can do to change our fates, after all. And who's to say that it's not better for us just to wear the masks that are our digital personas, and live our lives as those? Maybe that is for the best."

The How To Make Slime video goes from harmlessly silly and takes a twist for the stabby. Mark declares "In order to appease the Dark Gods..." then he instructs the viewer to slice their palm and "whisper the words of power." The words in question? "They shall rise. They shall consume. All will be lost when they rise from the darkness of the ocean. Madness opens up to everything." When the making of the slime is concluded, he adds that "We all get to enjoy three years of peace before the Dark Gods consume us all."

I have no idea what that means, but I’m pretty sure it may involve Cthulhu chomping on my kidneys. (Then again, Darkiplier is a Lovecraftian monstrosity Himself. So, if it’s Him who’s one of the Dark Gods? He can have a kidney from me if He’s really that hungry. Kidneys are a redundant system anyway, so you really only need one.)

April Fool’s Day brought us the gag gift of The Official Markiplier Rock, with a suspiciously deep voice informing us that the rock is available in white. Additionally, the video warned to alert the SCP Foundation if the rock appears to start talking! (What? My rock has been talking to me since I got it, and there’s nothing wrong with me!)

Baldi’s Basics: Secret Ending featured an explanation about attaining the secret ending, with Mark’s otherwise normal voice echoing slightly with subtle white noise effects. (Hmmm...)

In December, for the charity livestream and archived in a video called Santa Spills The Tea, a Santa Claus that sounded suspiciously like Wilford Warfstache declared that Dark, the master manipulator and Big Bad of Mark’s channel, was a “sweetheart! He shouts a lot, but he’s just a big ol’ pussy. He can’t even possibly… he didn’t hurt anybody! He didn’t kill one person! If there’s anybody who’s on my naughty li— uh, on my list of people who’ve been bad, he’s the only one not on it.” (And mind you, in 2017′s Markiplier TV, Wilford sang a little ditty about how he killed Santa Claus and the kids wouldn’t be getting any presents that year. And Dark still convinced us to shoot someone in A Date With Markiplier, while apparently feigning regret. But heck, use your own judgement.)

Mark also dropped one heck of a hint of things to come in, of all places, Markiplier Tries Korean Beauty Products. There, the descriptive intro to the following year’s DAMIEN animated feature can be heard at one point. “Snow blankets the field, a pristine meadow of untouched white. No animals call. No birds cry. Only the steady rustling of wind through dead trees accented by the impact of his axe. A crack-like thunder rings out as the ancient pine finally succumbs to his murderous assault. The old giant crashes into the ground. Dami-”

Wilford Motherloving Warfstache was, of course, focused on the mustachioed entity. But there were elements to the short film that felt like Darkiplier was watching along with us. Particularly the VHS-style glitch at the end of the film.

Of course, there were only three videos that year that potentially contained Darkiplier himself.

One candidate is Fall in Love with Markiplier. Yes, the name on the title is Mark’s... but is it really him? The entirety of the film is a fourteen minute staring contest with Mark, as he lovingly (and somehow also creepily) gazes at the viewer in different settings -- by the ocean, at a dog park, and in a bubble bath. The only spoken words are in the intro, over the strains of the music from A Date with Markiplier: “It’s scientifically proven that you can fall in love with someone simply by maintaining eye-contact for an extended period of time. So now, you can fall in love with Markiplier all over again in these three locations. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

The second candidate is World’s 5th Quietest Let’s Play, released just 5 days prior to the Let’s Have a Romantic Staring Contest video. Unlike the previously mentioned video, there’s more going on this time around. The game to be played quietly this time around is Bennett Foddy’s infamous rage-inducing creation “Getting Over It”. 

He threatens the developer with the words, “You will see the inside of your entrails, when I drag them out of your abdomen and show them to you.” (Ah, how romantic.) He goes even further than that, saying soon after, “This is a representation of My sins... You will be purged in the fires of absolution, along with all of your ilk. I will burn the heretics that you are harbouring inside of your soul... I will destroy you.” (Now there’s the smite-happy Hellgod we all love!)

But He doesn’t stop there, snarling under His breath, “You will burn in the fires of My own hell! And I will choose your pain to last eternity!” However, He is ultimately defeated by the game, departing our company with  “Alas, I leave you now, to slumber amongst the ancients.” (Aww, poor guy needs a hug. And I know just who’s ready to snuggle with Him...)

But the last of the video to potentially contain Darkiplier is... the four-hour long play through of Hearts & Heroes. Is it canon Dark? No, probably not. It’s a fan game, though the words of dialogue are acted out by Mark himself. But rather than simply recounting key phrases for you, here’s the Boss Battle between Mark’s team and Dark, edited by the lovely icedpinkpeebles (Mark’s goofy character names and all!):

So, what does all of this ultimately mean? Why did Darkiplier fade into the background in 2018? And, most importantly, what is He up to now?

The truth is I don’t know any more than you do. I can only guess.

But I can tell you this: We don’t know Darkiplier as well as we all think we do. Many of us (including me) fully expected Dark to raise hell following the events of the jokey Darkiplier vs Antisepticeye video in 2017 (because He did mention how He hates being mocked!). And while we did get more Dark at the end of that year, it was in the form of an origin story.

Whatever Dark’s planning, we’re not going to see it coming. Because He’s playing a long game. And when you’re immortal like He is, you have all the time in the world to get what you want. Be it for love or revenge, Darkiplier remains a force to be reckoned with.

But here we are, in the eye of the storm. Only time will tell before the final wrath of the hurricane makes landfall.

[serendipitous-magic]

WHAT that screen cap trailer has got me SO HYPED gosh I am READY give me that beautiful in character Jopper and Dustin being wonderful and everyone being overprotective like they were in S2 and Will having none of that this time and facing up to the Mind Flayer and El kicking ass while also coming of age and oh wow this is already perfect and exactly what I wanted from the season 3 that never dropped *screams from the rooftops* YES!!!

(referring to this btw)

(kermit flail) yyyaaaaayyyy!!

It is so so cool that peeps are onboard with this, you have no idea. And honestly, now that you’ve started a mini-list of what The Real Season 3, lemme just get some thoughts out of my brain real quick (pertaining to what TRS3 will and will not include, as far as the Netflix Season 3).

(I’ll put it under a read-more line in case y’all don’t want spoilers. Assuming the read-more line even works. Tumblr has been so weird about that lately.)

(Again: warning, spoilers!)

Things that The Real Season 3 Will Have:

-Nancy and Jonathan having their interns-going-after-a-story-and-solving-a-mystery plot, which eventually weaves in with the other groups’ plots (I didn’t end up having space for them in the “screenshot trailer,” but fear not: they’re there).

-Robin. She’s not quite as much of a main character, like she was in that-thing-that-never-happened, but she’s there, and she’s gay. (However: I don’t think she’ll get a full coming-out scene, a) because she’s known Steve for like a day at this point, b) there wasn’t room in the plot for a ton of Scoops Troop stuff.)

-Dustin actually being part of the Party instead of always being off with the Scoops Troop (don’t worry, we also get Dustin being part of the Scoops Troop - just not 24/7. He also gets to hang with his friends).

-Jopper scenes where they’re not assholes to each other (seriously, that bugged me so much in that-thing-that-never-happened. It was so wrong.) Furthermore, Jopper scenes where they trust each other and work together and treat each other as friends (and obviously there’s mutual pining but they’re stubborn and plus Joyce is still grieving Bob)

-Speaking of: characters that, if my writing skills are up to snuff, actually act like the people we know from seasons 1 and 2 (or at least, aren’t weird, flat, one-dimensional zombie versions of themselves)

-Remember how much season 2 (and S1, if you dig a little deeper) hinted at Will having powers? Hmmm..... interesting

-Will and El getting some bonding, and having that weird parallel-fates unspoken connection

-The inherent problems in mileven are addressed

-El and Max get their trip to the mall, their bonding time, and their sleepover; Max helps El along in her journey of finding herself, independent of the roles that have been thrust on her (test subject, daughter, girlfriend, etc.)

-The byeler fight is actually addressed after it happens

-Furthermore, the destruction of Castle Byers is addressed after it happens and it’s not just brushed off into oblivion

-The Upside Down (like, the actual place). Seriously, what happened to it in that-thing-that-didn’t-happen? Did the writers forget it existed except for like .2 seconds when B*lly sees it for some reason?

-The Mind Flayer has taken a special interest in Will, for reasons

-And speaking of, Will has to face that again

-The Monster Hunting Squad reunites 

-Byeler. (And that’s all I’ll say about that.)

-A happy ending. Becausefuckyouduffersthat’swhy.

Things that The Real Season 3 Will Not Have:

-Russians. Like, at all. No Russians. No Russian stereotypes stomping around being outsmarted by teenagers. A similar function in the plot (the creation of the Key which the US Government is using to try to open the Gate again) can be filled by previously established villains and the good old-fashioned US Government, mucking everything up as usual. And speaking of...

-Over-the-top patriotism, product placement and capitalism-worship. (Why. Whyyyy.)

-The b*lly/karen thing. Just... no. Nope.

-Hopper bumbling around being a weird drunken caricature of himself and being an asshole to Joyce

-Hopper threatening Mike and lying to El and Joyce about it (also no resulting “my nana is sick” bullshit drama in the Party)

-The goo-monster Mind Flayer form. I felt like that whole thing was basically just a CGI-fest, and it just didn’t fit with the themes and rules established in the first two seasons. The Mind Flayer remains as it was in S2: a shadow-monster with a kind of dust/shadow form, which can possess beings from this dimension (however, there is a twist)

-Murray. His arc was finished in S2, tbh, and he especially doesn’t need to tell Jopper to get it on. Gross.

-Joyce being preoccupied with magnets and barely even thinking about or checking up on her sons (which was is like a HUGE part of her character and personality in the canonical seasons)

-The Knockoff Terminator

-Erica. Sorry. I like her character, but there’s just not much room for more characters without bloating the plot (side-eyes that one thing that never happened).

-Beating up the Mayor for no obvious logical reason and with no apparent consequences (??????)

-The boys being all like “Oh, girls are a different species and we can win them back by buying them pretty trinkets, also we’re going to lounge around focusing exclusively on girls for like half the season!”

-A plot supported solely on dating drama and empty action without emotion driving it (Not to sound full of myself, but I’m pretty sure my writing skills will at the very least give us a plot that actually has some basis in emotion - you know, like the first two seasons did, which was why S1 and S2 were so good).

-The Byers moving away (maybe that’s too spoilery, but I just wanted to reassure y’all in case you were worried about having to go through that heartbreak all over again).

_-_-_-_

Okay that’s enough spoilers! Lol. Sorry, but also kind of not sorry.

Oh and speaking of... I’ll be starting work on Ch 1 tomorrow. (Like, actually writing it. The outline is done, except for a couple little details I’ll probably go back and add in/tweak as I go, but I am officially ready to start writing.) 

[xxseekritsxx]

MCU references in the Marvel Netflix shows! Yes, they are canon.

(Disclaimer: I tried to edit the original version of this post to add a new reference to the “Multiple Sources” section since I did not feel like reblogging and wasting an extra part of the post for this. But for whatever stupid reason, mobile Tumblr apparently no longer keeps the original text when you try to edit a post, and I accidentally reposted the original without any text. So I deleted the original post and am doing this again. -_-)

Yes, despite what some ignorant people would say, the Marvel Netflix shows are part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. They’re self-contained enough to be their own thing, but they are still part of something greater. IF they were completely separate like some people idiotically assume, then nothing from those shows would have pages on the MCU Wiki or be part of the MCU page for TV Tropes, nor would they be allowed to make references to the larger MCU if they weren’t in it at all.

So I have put together a list of references from the TV shows to the greater MCU. I have broken down my list by each show where a reference was made, as well as making a category of references that run across multiple sources at once. Everything is under the cut.

1. Daredevil:

In the episode “Kingpin”, upon learning how the Anatoly brothers and their fellow Russian mobster mooks failed to stop Daredevil so far, Wilson Fisk’s right-hand man James Wesley derisively mocks the mobsters over their failure with this remark: “If he had an iron suit or a magic hammer, maybe that would explain why you keep getting your asses handed to you.”

Among the headlines in Ben Urich’s office (which later becomes Karen’s office after Urich’s death) in season 1, there are articles written by Urich referencing the “Harlem Horror” (the final battle between Hulk and Abomination in “The Incredible Hulk”, which was also referenced during the first Avengers film and comes up again later in this list) and the Avengers saving the day during the Battle of New York.

Adding to the last part of the previous point, the devastation brought to Hell’s Kitchen from the fallout of the Battle of New York is what allowed Wilson Fisk to grow his influence in the underworld and make a profit off of the reconstruction that took place after all the fighting was done.

2. Luke Cage:

When Pops tries to encourage Luke to use his enhanced strength for good instead of hiding his powers, he gives Luke this advice with the following remark: “You should be out there helping people, like them other fellas downtown.” First heard in the Luke Cage season 1 trailer and in the very first episode, this quote is a clear reference to the Avengers (one of multiple made by this series).

A running gag with the young character Dave “D.W.” Griffith in season 1 revolved around him going into the streets selling bootleg footage of the Avengers in action during the Battle of New York.

Misty Knight’s former (crooked) partner Rafael Scarfe made an interesting statement about the redundancy of the police in New York with the following remark referencing Thor: “Unless this sidearm that I’m wearing suddenly turns into some kind of magic hammer, this whole job is irrelevant.”

Cottonmouth mockingly refers to Luke Cage (to the main character’s face) as “Harlem’s Captain America” when questioning Luke on whether the latter truly thinks of himself as a hero.

Remember when I said earlier that the final battle between Hulk and Abomination was going to be referenced again on this list? Since the “Luke Cage” series is set in Harlem, this is where it unsurprisingly comes up again. Locals in Harlem still remember the battle between the super strong monsters years later. I mean, how could you forget something like that easily?

Multiple references to Hammer Industries technology. Despite its founder still being behind bars (covered later), the company still continues to operate. Like SHIELD and others (such as HYDRA, Vulture’s crew, and a criminal couple who ended up working for SHIELD under an agent who would later go rogue-after Sitwell decided to go against his orders from said rogue agent to kill them for possessing a Chitauri gun), Hammer Industries salvaged leftover Chitauri technology from the Battle of New York to make new weapons out of it. In the show, these weapons include the Judas bullets (which are those rounds fired by Diamondback that were able to actually pierce Luke Cage’s skin). The other notable piece of Hammer tech in the show is Diamondback’s battlesuit, which he wore for the final battle in season 1 when he and Luke fought.

3. Jessica Jones:

In the episode “AKA 99 Friends”, Jessica is contacted by a woman who allegedly wants Jessica to use her investigative skills to follow her cheating husband around. However, this turns out to be a ruse. The woman who called Jessica lured her into a trap and attempted to kill her, the reason being that the woman’s mother died during the Battle of New York. Despite Jessica having no involvement in these events at all, the woman who laid the trap views all superpowered people as freaks-basically a much smaller-scale version of the attitudes shared in “Captain America: Civil War” who see superheroes as people that need to be brought to heel and put on a tight leash.

Shortly after learning about both of them having the power of super strength in common, Luke asks Jessica during their dinner if she knows about any other enhanced people besides themselves and the Avengers. Jessica reveals the existence of Kilgrave to Luke in response.

In the first episode of season 3, Jessica is asked to bring a young girl back to her mother following the divorce of the girl’s parents. As she is getting dragged by Jessica back to her mother, the girl asks the title heroine “Would Captain America do this?” when questioning Jessica’s actions.

4. Iron Fist:

When Danny is initially not believed by his friends Joy and Ward Meachum to be who he says he is after Danny and the Rand family were declared missing long ago, Danny is sent to a psychiatric ward. When Danny explains his title and powers to the doctor assigned to treat him, the doctor responds with a scoffing remark about the frequency of crazy people emerging with claims of possessing superpowers having increased since the emergence of Iron Man.

In season 2, we learn that Mary Walker/Typhoid Mary was held captive in Sokovia for nearly two years prior to her being discharged from the Army following her escape.

5. The Punisher:

Believe it or not, there is a connection between the Punisher series and “Agents of SHIELD”. Many of you may not remember this, but back in season 1 of the latter series, Daisy name-drops one of her old contacts from the Rising Tide hacktivist group she used to be part of: Micro. While the Punisher series itself does not return this reference at all, it is still worth mentioning. Micro was part of the Rising Tide group prior to his eventual recruitment by the NSA, who picked him up after learning of his skills.

6. Multiple sources:

Roxxon has been referenced as an Easter egg multiple times within the MCU canon, such as being featured in “Iron Man 3″ when Trevor Slattery murdered a Roxxon executive on live TV while posing as the Mandarin, and being featured in the first season of “Agents of SHIELD”. The company has also been integral to the plots of the TV series “Agent Carter” and in “Cloak and Dagger”. In the latter series, there are some references to the greater MCU:

Peter Scarborough, CEO of Roxxon in the present day, justifies the company’s attempted extraction of Darkforce and Lightforce energy with this remark while being held captive by Tandy/Dagger: “In this day and age, you need to keep up with the Joneses. As well as the Starks and the Rands.” A clear nod to Tony Stark and Danny Rand.

Detective Brigid O’Reilly reveals that she is originally from Harlem and was part of the local police force there prior to moving to New Orleans. In addition, she mentions a friend named Misty-a clear reference to Misty Knight. What makes this nod even better is when Luke Cage season 2 returns the reference when Misty mentions O’Reilly having moved out of town.

In season 2, Tyrone has a discussion with a friend about Luke Cage when the former finds out his friend cannot read what’s on the newspaper about Cage. The article in question is a “Harlem Rumble” piece about Luke, which is also explicitly mentioned to be written by Karen Page.

Carl “Crusher” Creel AKA Absorbing Man has been referenced in the Daredevil episode “Cut Man” as the young boxer Matt’s father Jack Murdock fought in the ring on the same night the latter was eventually murdered for not throwing the fight. The poster advertising their fight can be seen in the background of Fogwell’s Gym where Jack and, later, Matt, would spend time training. Creel himself appeared as a recurring character in seasons 2, 3, and 5 of “Agents of SHIELD”. In the latter series, Creel’s boxer past was referenced as part of his introduction in the second season.

Seagate Prison has appeared in multiple sources. In “Luke Cage” we know the prison as the one where the title character was sent for a crime he didn’t commit and where he received his powers from Dr. Noah Burstein’s experiments. In the Marvel One-Shot “All Hail the King”, it was revealed that Seagate is also the home to Justin Hammer and Trevor Slattery, following their respective arrests in “Iron Man 2″ and “Iron Man 3″. During the One-Shot, Slattery was interviewed by a documentary filmmaker named Jackson Norris. However, the filmmaker revealed that he was actually an agent of the Ten Rings (whom we all know as the terrorist organization who captured Tony Stark in the first “Iron Man” movie). Norris captured Slattery and extracted him from Seagate with the intent of taking the washed-up actor to meet the former’s master: the real Mandarin, who was not exactly pleased with Slattery’s portrayal of him. Slattery’s final fate after this is unknown.

So the next time someone says the Marvel Netflix shows are “not canon” or “completely separate”, show them this list.

[mckittyarts]

(1)aaaaa your twi is an absolute bae ♡♡♡ but anyways, I'm back! and I'm going to stop using dots in my asks from now;; anything perceived as links in the asks gets the ask yeeted into the void apparently and I'm too scatterbrained to keep track of the space but I digress okay so is there a language barrier? they're all from different timelines right so language's probably changed a lot, if so, did they have trouble understanding each other at first and how did they work around it? like,,,

aAA thank you anon!! from this point on i’m gonna keep my headcanons under the cut to keep ask clutter to a minimum, so take a look at that for the answers! there are a doodle down there too so ;)

Language Barrier/Cultural Differences:

 - honestly haven’t thought much about a language barrier other than Warrior using sign language asdfghjk,, realistically they probably would but as much as it makes the most sense we’ve decided to just pretend like that’s not a thing just for better RP flow and general shenanigans– that’s a really really good question though!

 - there are however cultural differences, Twi would be very confused if Wind mentioned something about the Great Flood since that never happened in his timeline. there are especially differences when it comes to legends! A good example is Sky who, as the first hero(not counting the prequel manga shush), has a lot of different interpretations that differ from what really happened - later Links (like Twi and Wind) think that people already inhabited the surface and a hero was sent from the heavens when hell broke loose. in the adult timeline it’s especially potent because the flood washed away so many details of the ancient legends that they’re much more like fairy tales at this point. Wind seems to believe that Sky was a Rito since he flew around and Minish was literally born an inch tall. needless to say, he was very disappointed when he found out they were just grumpy little Hylians.

- ABSOLUTELY they share stories about their adventures and the most outgoing ones love to share stories about their scars too! most of the later Links absolutely love hearing stories about their childhood heroes its so very sweet

My Talented Little Music Boys:

- AAA i love talking about their musical skill tbh– okay so yes! most of them play have an instrument and they do play them with various degrees of success,, BUT here’s the list; - Twi sings really really well and does so often(he also has his Horse Call)- Sky plays harp but he isn’t really that good at it- Time, Minish and Alti all have ocarinas, Time’s fantastic at it because he grew up as a Kokiri, Minish couldn’t play a good note to save his life and we’ll get to Alti later- Wind has the Wind Waker which looks cool when he swooshes it around but it doesn’t really do anything other than mess with the wind- Engi has the Spirit Flute and is pretty decent after Zelda’s many lessons on how to properly play it- Classic has a recorder,,, it can go TOOT TOOT but doesnt really sound good- Albi only has a little bell which is just a bit useless- the only instrument Warrior and Wild have is the sound of their suffering- ALTI. PLAYS. EVERY. SINGLE. INSTRUMENT. I AM NOT KIDDING. HE HAS LIKE EVERY INSTRUMENT MENTIONED ABOVE AND MORE. HE IS A ONE MAN BAND

Gender Headcanons and Etc:

 - no I don’t have any gender headcanons, all mine identify as cis boys,, sorry if that disappoints anyone :( i have nothing against people who headcanon them as trans/nb/whatever though, it’s always so nice to see everyone’s interpretation of them all! and i will also add that a vast majority of my versions of the Links are either bi, gay or ace!

 - hhh i did actually get your other ask and i’m really sorry i didn’t reply to it earlier– i was a bit busy over the weekend and i was a little confused by the question! Honestly still am still a bit confused but,, out of my versions, Wild is actually one of the more laid back and docile Links despite being so reckless and rowdy,, i don’t think i’ve ever seen other people draw him with a temper either though, but i dont really spend so much time browsing tumblr so i might be very wrong asdfghjk,, but yes Time will absolutely eat anything he does not care all he knows is that he needs nutrients for his Big Dumb Body

i think that is all?? again, if you(or anyone else) has any more questions, feel free to shoot me an ask!! it’s honestly so fun to answer and i love doodling small dumb things for these asdfghj,,

[maya-tl]

Slice of Life

Author's Note: This fic is inspired by @altruistic-skittles and their Slice of Life Sanders Sides AU, which can be found here. All worldbuilding credit goes to them, I only stitched the ideas together in writing.

Author's Note #2: Due to Tumblr restrictions, the story was split into three chapters. Next chapter will be posted on Sunday.

Honorary mentions: Keep your eyes peeled for @themicrosoftnerd and @crofters-jam , who make an appearance in this chapter!

Shoutout to Toby, who is part of the AU but sadly doesn't get a mention in the story.

This work will also be posted to Ao3 in the near future.

Link to my Ao3 profile will be at the end! Tag list will be in the replies! Enjoy!

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3

***

"Virgil~"

It's barely above a whisper, but he groans anyway and sinks into the pillow like dead weight. He swears he hears someone giggle just above him and he feels warmth through his chest.

"Virgil, honey," he feels a hand on his shoulder that gives it more of a gentle nudge than a shake, "get up. You'll miss breakfast."

The prospect of waking up just makes him settle down even deeper under the comfy blankets.

Truth be told his brain had probably kicked into gear a good while ago, but once the dreaded feeling of expectation that his alarm would be blaring into his ears any minute had passed without coming to fruition, he hadn't questioned any of it and simply gone back to sleep.

He doesn't know if he's actually gotten any rest since, but the fact that his mind is a foggy blank space probably alludes to a yes.

The mattress dips beside him and the hand on his shoulder resumes its shaking—definitely a shake this time.

"Viiirgiiil~" they say, stretching the word like it's a song lyric, and he can hear the smile in their voice even through his sleep clouded mind. "Wakey wakey, sleepyhead~"

He groans again—though it comes out more like a whine—and tries to wiggle out of the hand's reach. There's another giggle, and this time he grudgingly opens his eyes just enough to muster a glare, but even that's half-hearted and reduced useless when the offending figure leans down and plants a kiss on the tip of his nose.

He laughs softly, reaches up to rub at his eyes, and the steady warmth in his chest flares when the source of said warmth laughs back, beautiful and genuine and music to his ears even after nearly two decades of hearing it every day.

"Five more minutes?" he tries, raspy with morning voice, but even as he's saying it he's already sitting up and stretching his stiff muscles.

His answer is a peck on the cheek this time, and he can see Patton's entire face break into a smile out the corner of his eye when he leans into the touch.

That reminds him, their anniversary's coming up. He makes a mental note to get something ready in advance, even if that won't be for a few months now.

"What time is it...?" he mumbles and reaches for his phone, effectively draping himself across the bed.

"Kids are already up and about." Patton offers as he rises from the bed and goes to open the curtains.

"Wow, I outlasted Roman's beauty sleep? That's a first." he squints through the sudden flood of light and gapes at his phone screen until he's sure his eyes might roll out of their sockets. "Breakfast?? Pat, it's nearly noon."

Patton gives him a sheepish look, though his smile doesn't falter. "Brunch then? We've all had breakfast except for you and Ro—Lolo and I already had pancakes. Roman thought I batter go wake you before you turned into Sleeping Beauty—"

He snorts, both at the pun and the implication; sounds like his eldest alright.

"—and he wanted to make his own breakfast. I'll go get some leftovers ready for you, yeah?"

"If there are any leftovers..." he mumbles under his breath, before it's silenced by another kiss.

"You know Roman is too worried about his physique for that and Logan doesn't approve of pancakes in the morning. I barely got him to eat his share." Patton smiles, and it's crooked and beautiful and the sunlight beaming through the windows brings out his freckles and Virgil gets this inexplicable urge to kiss every single one of them. "Take your time getting ready, you haven't been sleeping much for the past week and I don't want you falling asleep at the table again."

He chuckles, standing up and stretching some more; he can hear the birds chirping downstairs when Patton opens the door on his way out.

Someone that sounds suspiciously like his son is talking more loudly than is necessary on the phone and he swears it's a habit he only picked up after they moved; he must've stayed up late and gotten friendly with that Remy kid at some point, because Virgil knows his 'beauty sleep' is more of an excuse to sleep in rather than an actual concern with beauty.

On second thought, knowing Roman, it's probably both.

"Oh! I almost forgot," he hears his husband, who sounds like he's halfway down the stairs, "Thomas told me yesterday that his car broke down!"

Again? He should probably ask Emile for some lucky crystals or whatever he's into these days, their soft-hearted neighbour could sure use it. That man has such a knack for trouble that sometimes Virgil finds himself wondering how he hasn't burned down his house yet.

Would be a shame too, apparently it's been in the family for generations.

"Do you mind if I drive them to the theatre today? Ro agreed to extra practice hours and his whole group of friends wants to come see how the big play's coming along!!"

Of course he did, and of course they do.

"Nah, I'll do it." he says, even though that's the last thing he wants to do today. Not that his other options are much more exciting; he mostly just feels like sleeping the whole day through. "I've got a shift in about three hours anyway, might as well waste a bit of gas."

"You're working? I thought you had weekends free??"

He pulls out some sweats and a simple black T and heads to the bathroom to turn on the shower. His work clothes are already laid out for once, look at him being productive.

"It's just a small shift, Pat, I took it up so I could have less overtime, it's a compromise."

He can hear the underlying tone beneath the innocent question, the silent implication that if his boss is screwing him over Patton can and will physically fight them, because for all his fun loving self he's also dreadfully overprotective.

He knows Patton's not convinced, but he's also learned that Patton still puts a lot more trust in him than he ever expects to receive, and just like that Virgil suddenly feels an overwhelming sense of belonging.

He loves this kind, beautiful, incredible, perfect man that he shares his life with so much he vaguely wonders if he's legally, ethically and morally allowed to marry him again.

Patton laughs again, and so does Virgil when he realizes he's spoken out loud.

How did he ever get so lucky?

***

Patton walks in on the sight of his eldest son pacing a hole into the kitchen floor, a piece of toast in one hand and a bunch of disorderly papers in the other, with his phone squished between his shoulder and his ear.

"Right?! I would make for a brilliant prince!!" he tries to get out between a mouthful of toast and jam, flailing the papers around like they were the ones who didn't give him the part. "Thomas is totally underestimating my incredible acting skills, the audition I gave was practically flawless!!"

"Or perhaps your ego has finally rendered all your other brain functions useless and you are living under the misguided assumption that you are better than anyone at everything you do."

"Nobody asked you to speak, Microsoft Nerd!"

Logan doesn't even lift his eyes from the book he's reading. As a matter of fact he flips the page over, looking utterly and purposefully disinterested in the tantrum of his older brother, who is currently at risk of choking on his food if the fact that his entire face looks like it's gotten sunburn is any indication.

"No, but you are yelling rather loudly and I am trying to enioy a quiet morning lecture." he adds, manoeuvring his cup from its place on the table to take a sip of tea without breaking the narrative he's currently engrossed in. "Not that anyone ever gets any peace and quiet in this household when you're home."

"I beg your pardon?!"

"Play nice, kiddos." Patton chides as he walks in, opening the fridge to take out a rather large stack of pancakes and some orange juice. "And Roman, quit talking with your mouth full."

Roman quietly mutters something like 'gimme a sec Val' before dropping the papers—which Patton assumes are pages of his current script if the neon highlighter marks he catches a glimpse of are anything to go by—into a messy pile on the counter, a tactful distance from the sink.

He even makes a show of swallowing to prove that he's not in any life threatening situation before propping the phone right back to his ear.

"Sorry, my dumb brother interrupted me—"

"I'm not the one actively trying to fail math after the semester's hardly begun." there's suddenly a definite edge to Logan's tone and he's giving his brother a stare so cold it's a wonder his head doesn't turn into a block of ice.

Patton knows that tone; if there's anything his little Lolo is insecure about it's his intelligence, no matter how many times he or Virgil assure him that he's not only the smartest one in the family but also one of the smartest in his school. A work friend of Virgil's they invited over once even called him a prodigy, and that must mean something coming from a therapist.

Unfortunately, Roman's impulse of speaking with absolutely no filter is just as immovable, which means their children have raised the term of sibling rivalry to a whole new level.

Patton decides to stop the argument before it's begun.

"Boys." they clamp their mouths shut immediately, as he knew they would, but he places his hands on his hips just for a little more authority. "What did I just say?"

'Play nice?' Roman more asks than answers at the same time that Logan lets out a tight 'Play nice.'

"Now, what's the right thing to do?"

They sigh in tandem and speak together. "Sorry dad." When he gives them a pointed look they share a glance and give in, both their shoulders dropping the tension simultaneously.

"I'm sorry I called you dumb, I didn't actually mean it..." there's genuine emotion in most of his eldest's apologies, because most of the time he really does blurt out his first thought without considering it and realizes it when his head's in the clear.

"I didn't mean to undermine your creative skills or make you feel inadequate in any way." his youngest is not the most in touch with emotions, but he is smart enough to know when an apology is in order and to differ between a sincere and insincere one.

He gives them a nod of approval and goes back to putting together a late breakfast, plopping the pancakes into the microwave and reaching into a cupboard for a clean glass. Logan likewise resumes his reading as if nothing had happened; Roman is the only one who settles down, picking up his conversation at a more acceptable volume.

As the pancakes are heating up he opens another cupboard door and frowns.

"Have any of you seen the honey?"

"Mhm?" Roman glances over as he chews around another mouthful of toast with too much jam on it. "Oh, it's over there."

Patton turns to the area he'd vaguely gestured to and spots the bee shaped bottle peeking out from behind a very familiar jar of jelly, both items that have long become staples in the kitchen due to Logan's surprising demands. The cap of the jar is undone, and as he swiftly puts it back on his dad reflexes kick in before he can think better of it.

"Who left the jar open?"

The microwave decides to beep at the same moment that Roman abruptly freezes, sticky fingers in his mouth, and he immediately turns to his brother. Logan puts it together in a matter of nanoseconds and practically leaps out of his seat, book tumbling off his lap.

"Is that my Crofter's?!?"

Seeing that not even his acting skills can provide an escape, Roman spreads his arms in a shrug. "Uh, do you own the company?"

It's difficult to get Logan truly riled up, but Roman does have a habit of biting off more than he can chew. Literally this time.

"You know it's family owned—that's not the point, Roman, it's my food!!"

"Oh come on, you have like fifty jars, you can share."

"You didn't even ask me if I'm willing to share!!"

"I was hungry!!!"

"Dad!!!"

Patton manages to suppress a sigh, but only just. He shoves his glasses up and pinches the bridge of his nose for the briefest moments.

Honestly, he loves his children unconditionally, but sometimes, on occasion—and he would never in a million years ever admit this to anyone except maybe Virgil—sometimes he loves them a lot more when they're in separate rooms.

On separate floors.

With their doors closed.

***

My Ao3 profile.

[umbraastaff]

I Saw Seven Bounties

CHAPTER 9: THE DEAL II: FACES

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[Ao3]

[Thank you to fivebrights (AO3/Tumblr) for beta reading!]

***

Barry keeps picking through the abandoned buildings, flipping through his notebook, and being generally weird. Kravitz watches with mild interest, trying to understand why he keeps a pair of work gloves but leaves the boots, why he clicks every pen to decide whether to take it without ever testing the writability. Maybe his notebook is actually a shopping--er, scavenging--list.

While the lich is trying hard to open a crate without going overboard with the force used, Kravitz speaks up. “It’s, er, been nearly an hour, now. Have you made any progress towards the bell?”

“Oh, shoot!” Barry waves a hand with a spell gesture Kravitz doesn’t recognize. “I-I got distracted. Didn’t mean to, uh, t-to make you wait.”

Kravitz just shrugs. “It’s only one day; I’ll survive a little boredom.” Especially if he gets Barry’s soul at the end of it. He almost regrets reminding Barry of the objective, but he isn’t one to play dirty. “What was that spell, just now?”

“Huh? O-Oh, uh, this?” Barry repeats the hand movement, and Kravitz nods. “It’s just Timer, a-a cantrip. I did the--I set it for, uh, twenty-three hours.”

The reaper tilts his head. “Odd. I don’t imagine myself to be out of touch with modern magic, but I don’t think I’ve heard of it.”

“Really? I wouldn’t--I mean, it’s not very new, but…” he thinks for a moment. “Oh, oh, shoot! Right. It’s not f-from around here. It’s… I think we made that one, actually.”

“You… make spells?” Kravitz makes a mental note to add another goddamn discipline to Barry Bluejeans’ ever-growing list of masteries.

“Oh, I mean…” Barry twiddles his thumbs. “N-Not well enough to have--to make a job of it, or a-anything. Just, uh, some little spells t-to fill niches. It’s fun to figure them out.”

“Impressive.” Kravitz means it.

Barry looks surprised. “I-I mean, it’s just a cantrip. You could even--I can teach it to you, uh, if you’d like. If you can do wizard spells…?”

“I’m afraid what magic I have that isn’t granted by the Raven Queen is done through music.”

“Oh, bardic magic?” Barry brightens up. “I used to--I’ve dabbled in that. Maybe I can figure something out for it. I-I’ll get back to you.”

“Alright, then,” Kravitz says skeptically. Barry can do plenty of things, but he wonders how much skill the lich has in music.

Barry scribbles something else in his notebook--a reminder, perhaps--and then snaps it shut. “O-Okay! So! First place I’m checking is, uh, just a bit east of Neverwinter. I found--I got wind of some, uh, questionable activities there.”

“Well, I doubt you’ll do well with my method of teleportation, and I’m not letting you port me,” Kravitz says, “So how about we just meet at the east gate?”

Barry gives him a thumbs up and vanishes in a flash of red light. Kravitz sighs, draws his scythe, and presses it into the space between planes. He dips briefly into the Astral Plane before pulling back into the Material, just in time to see a flash of red lightning at the east gate of Neverwinter, coalescing into the brightly-colored silhouette of Barry Bluejeans.

Barry’s face is halfway skeletal when he appears, but his illusory skin is already rapidly regenerating. Whatever illusion he’s using must operate similarly to a ‘concentration’ spell, or else his teleportation wouldn’t interrupt it.

“I don’t see why you don’t just use Disguise Self,” Kravitz remarks as Barry leads him away from the city. “Seems like it would be easier.”

Barry raises an eyebrow. “I--Well, it doesn’t really--I mean, d-do you use Disguise Self for your face--your body? Does that work?” He sounds skeptical, but the question is genuine enough.

“No,” Kravitz admits. “The Raven Queen grants me the power for this form, among other things. It isn’t a spell with a name. But you… Well, it just seems overly complicated for you to use some other magic when Disguise Self is such a simple spell.”

“Hm… Here, I-I’ll just show you how the--show you what Disguise Self does.” Barry snaps his fingers, and a ripple of magic crosses his face. His expression abruptly turns rigid and neutral, eyes staring emptily into space. When he speaks again, his mouth doesn’t move.

“This spell m-maps the body’s movements--links them to the illusion. Which is also why y-you can only look like creatures with the same, uh, same basic form. So, actual movements w-work fine,” he wiggles his fingers to demonstrate, “but my face is j-just a skull. There isn’t any--there’s no movement to take hold of for the spell.”

“I see,” Kravitz says, nodding. “That must be why so few liches put on faces.”

Barry laughs a little as he snaps his fingers again, restoring the proper illusion to his face. “I mean… th-the skull face also adds to the, uh, the edgy aesthetic.”

“Of course,” Kravitz rolls his eyes. “A mockery of the symbols of the Raven Queen’s domain, for nothing but a little spookiness.”

“O-Oh, come on,” Barry crosses his arms. “She may have reign over when people die, b-but the right to be--to mock the concept of death, that’s--I’d say it belongs to people who actually will die.” He hesitates. “And... in a sense, have died.”

“Oh? And how do you expect to die, Barry, with your soul modified so?”

“You, obviously.” Barry gives Kravitz a flat look. “Eventually. B-But even without that, really, a lich is just a s-spliced up version of something mortal. Y-You can’t act like any of us would last as long as a god. I-I’d fade long before the-the entire concept of death fades as a godly domain.”

Kravitz blinks. He has no response to that; he’s used to liches acting as though they’ll last for an eternity. Instead, after a bit of a pause, he says, “Hmm. You said the Bell is out here?”

“Ah, yeah,” Barry perks up again. “Phoebe lives near here. Sh-she’s… If she has it, she’d probably b-be making really good use of it. In-in a bad way.”

“Phoebe…?”

“Uh, Phoebe Tipper?” Barry says, but Kravitz stays confused. “She’s been cycling souls in and out of th-the Astral Plane f-for--for years, almost weekly.”

Kravitz squints. That does sound vaguely familiar. “Dead Ends?”

“That’s--Oh, yeah. That’s her... business name, I-I guess? Pretty d-dramatic, right?”

“You know where Dead Ends lives?”

“I, uh. I know where a lot of people live,” Barry says, picking through the increasingly-dense trees and brush, “On account of not t-trying to, uh, murder them.”

Kravitz keeps following him. If this isn’t a ruse, then this whole deal might not end up a waste after all. Dead Ends doesn’t really fit the bill for who they think was in possession of the Animus Bell, but she’ll be quite a catch even without it.

Eventually, Barry stops and peers through the trees. “There’s Phoebe’s place. C-can you see it?”

Kravitz leans near Barry to follow his apparent line of sight, but he can’t see anything besides regular forest. And he can’t sense any other necrotic energy, either. “Not with your lich magic stuffing up my senses.”

Barry laughs a little. “M-My bad. It’s p-probably boxed, too, though.”

“Boxed?”

“O-Oh, slang, sorry. It means, uh, there’s a shield k-keeping radiant energy out, like agents of gods. You. I can get rid of it, though.”

“So… you’re able to remove it? And you’re willing to remove it?”

“Yep,” Barry says, and although Kravitz leaves the space for it, he offers no further explanation. Instead, his hands start moving in a practiced pattern, with bones showing through the illusory skin every time he makes a quicker motion. Kravitz can feel the energy as he cuts through the air, and he takes a step back to give it room.

Once he’s done, the lich points through the trees again. “S-See it now?”

The area looks blurry, now. Kravitz blinks hard a few times, and it clarifies into a house, as though it had been there the entire time. It blends in well with the forest, sure, but it’s not exactly missable. “Wow.”

“Yeah, p-pretty impressive how she stretched th-that spell over the entire house,”

Kravitz nods, still staring at the building. It’s half taken over by the plants and vines around it, and he has to wonder if that was intentionally invoked by magic, or if the house really is that ancient.

“Okay, w-well, she probably does--probably checks security, uh, regularly, so… N-Now or never.” He’s twitching, just slightly, in that way he does when he’s having strong feelings.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m--yeah.” It comes out tense.

Kravitz starts to take a step forward, but hesitates again. “Barry. This isn’t… you’re not trying to trick me, are you?” His eyes widen as he realizes. “If I leave your side, it could technically be in violation of our contract…”

Barry looks genuinely surprised. “Uh, I-I guess? I wasn’t--I didn’t mean to trick you, though. I’m telling you where I th-think the Bell is. Of course you need to--need time to check it out. I mean…” he shrugs. “If you don’t go, a-and it turns out the Bell was there, then--then you’d be breaking the terms, right?”

Kravitz frowns. “I suppose…”

“Look, th-the whole contract got way--absurdly contrived. I-I promise you I’m not trying to pull one over on ya.”

Kravitz takes a long look at his face, which is decidedly less twitchy, and nods. “As much as I hate to admit it, I trust you, to this small extent.” He looks back towards the house, ignoring a glimpse of Barry’s face brightening up.

He surveys the house carefully as he steps between the trees. Staying on the side that their shadows are pointed, he’s nearly invisible. He sheds his skin and wills his steps silent, approaching the front door.

Kravitz sinks into darkness and slips under the front door, feeling the sickening aura of necrotic energy intensifying every second. He can’t feel any wards, though, and most skilled evildoers have them aplenty; Barry must have really been thorough with dismantling them. He stands up inside the house and looks around.

It’s a nice place, if a little cluttered and a lot evil. Candles and chalk line the shelves alongside more conspicuous ritual supplies. Magical artifacts are among them, but he doesn’t feel the power of a grand relic within this home. He does, however, feel the presence of a soul that’s been on his bounty list for a few months now.

Surprisingly, following the presence takes him away from the passive necrotic magic in the basement--she must be making bodies. He heads up the stairs and down a hall, ignoring the few framed photos along the walls. They aren’t his business, and would only serve to make this difficult. Finally, slowly, Kravitz turns the doorknob that he knows his target is waiting behind. He has the advantage here.

So of course he’s startled when he’s tackled the instant he opens the door. She dodges his alarmed scythe swing and his back hits the ground. Phoebe is barely recognizable as human, but up close, Kravitz can see that she’s made of human pieces. There are too many eyes and arms in all the wrong places, but they’re all human. And so is her soul: a hellish amalgam of other humans’ lives, stolen from the Astral Plane for her own power. He’d be impressed if he wasn’t disgusted.

Kravitz kicks her off with an undignified yelp, feeling soul magic turned abrasive burning him where they made contact. Jumping up, he extends his power through the room, turning the dim atmosphere to darkness and willing it to encroach on the monstrous figure. Wisely, she backs up towards the lightest part of the room: the window.

“Phoebe Tipper,” Kravitz says, voice thick with his work accent, “You’ve been a tricky one, ‘aven’t ya?”

Phoebe shakily looks out the window, then back to Kravitz. Instead of panic, he sees a grin made of far too many teeth. “Reaper,” she rasps in several voices at once, “You’re outnumbered.” And then she kicks off from the floor and crashes through the second-story window.

Kravitz rushes forward and looks through the shattered glass. The monster is rushing down the path in front of the house, towards a hooded figure clad in bright red. He’s waving to Phoebe, beckoning her.

Kravitz curses--Barry, Phoebe, his own foolishness. Why would Barry do this? Why give him someone’s location only to save her? Did Barry suddenly realize she didn’t have the Bell, and decide to sabotage him? Is this a trap?

He leaps out the window anyway, breaking his fall on soft shadows and running towards his runaway catch, though he’s sure Barry will have her gone within seconds.

Surprise slows Kravitz down when he gets close enough to see Barry meeting his eyes, giving him a strange look. The hand he’s waving with abruptly clenches into a fist, and there’s a bolt of red lightning that shoots up from the ground and overtakes Phoebe. She collapses, stunned but not dead, and screeches profane curses of traitorousness.

Kravitz stops altogether. Barry looks at him. “H-Hey, uh, are you gonna do your job? I c--I can’t hold this for long--”

Snapping out of it, Kravitz crosses the remaining distance with a few short strides. Barry steps back as he pulls out his scythe, tearing Phoebe’s many souls out of this Plane with a clean slice. It’s the easiest that’s been in a while.

Then he stares at Barry. “I didn’t expect you to actively help.”

“Oh, c-come on,” Barry says. “She--she killed people! A-And used their--she took their souls and powered herself with innocent--used people who weren’t even willing, and even if th-they were, I’d question it--”

“So you do have morals,” Kravitz says, with half-feigned surprise.

Barry isn’t amused. “I don’t kill people, Kravitz! I just--the only soul I’ve e-ever tampered with is mine, a-and I really--I only use bodies that are already dead, wh-when I need to.”

“Shame,” Kravitz rolls his eyes. “If you had just stayed away from your soul, I wouldn’t have had to hunt you.”

“A-And we wouldn’t have met,” Barry shrugs. “You don’t--I mean, you’re a pretty okay guy when yo-you’re not trying to kill me.”

Before Kravitz can respond, Barry continues, “So is the Animus Bell in there?”

“Ah, no. Can’t feel anything on par with Grand Relic power here.”

“That’s too bad,” Barry says, in a tone that leans towards sympathy. As though he’s more bummed out for Kravitz’s sake than his own. He pulls out his notebook again and starts flipping through it.

“I wonder what gave them so much power,” Kravitz says idly.

“They’re m-made of the same thing--same stuff that made the omniverse,” Barry says without missing a beat. “The, uh, inspiration for o-our existence, in an… abstract sense. That’s why, uh, why they have--why people want to use ‘em so bad.”

“What? What makes you so sure?”

Barry doesn’t appear to have heard him, and instead says, “So, hey, w-where’s the line? I mean, on what’s… unacceptable? Liches are bad, Phoebe’s body-hopping is bad, but you--I could’ve sworn that-that you said zombies are fine, before.”

“Right,” Kravitz says. “Animated corpses--zombies, as you say--have no soul. They are, I would say, disrespectful to the dead, but not illegal. They don’t disrupt the balance of life and death. But, well, moving your soul--or others’ souls--out of your body, modifying them, or stealing them from the Astral Plane… any of those things serve to extend a life beyond its natural course. It creates an imbalance.”

“But we all--everything dies anyway, though, right? Even liches w-would decay eventually. Who cares if I’m around a little longer?”

Kravitz sighs. “The balance of the world isn’t just about death, it’s about the natural order of fate. Fate is married to Death, and altering either can mess with the process of the other. You know, the same reason time travel is generally considered to be extremely dangerous.”

“For the sake o-of conversation, and, uh, a little curiosity,” Barry says, “What d-does it--what exactly does it mess up? What does balance being out of whack a-actually do?”

“It’s…” Kravitz falters briefly. “It isn’t mortal business, Barry. Not our business. It has to do with my superior’s work, not my own.”

“She isn’t…” Barry frowns. “Well, nevermind.”

“Oh, no, I’d like to hear this.”

“It wouldn’t be good of m-me to… I mean, I don’t know a whole l-lot about her. But I-I do know that gods, i-in a, uh, strictly general sense, a-aren’t infallible,” Barry says, choosing his words delicately, without even the decency to sound arrogant. “But I shouldn’t… it’s n-not my place to say.”

There’s a hint of a wry laugh in his voice as he adds, “I-I can’t justifiably c-comment on the, uh, the balance of this world when we d-did such a big--” he freezes. “Uh, I mean, when I’m a lich! Th-the source of, er, th-that sort of imbalance.”

Kravitz starts to respond, but Barry continues before he can. “And the Raven Queen did l-let me channel her m-magic to save you, i-instead of taking the opportunity to, uh, smite me, or something? So that was pretty good. From my semi-mortal perspective, at least.”

Kravitz frowns, indignant arguments and confused questions melting from his mind in favor of startlement. “You did what?”

“You d-don’t remember…?” Barry looks surprised, too. “Uh, it was on that train, a bit o-over a year ago? When you did a--when you beefed it hitting the tunnel wall. I d-did that thing warlocks and clerics do, to ask for power…”

“Warlocks and clerics?” Kravitz stares at him. “Those are… very different magical professions.”

“N-Not really,” Barry says. “They’re pretty similar. Warlocks c-can just do weirder stunts, usually, since they’re bound to, uh, weirder… less conventional entities.”

“If you put it that way, I suppose…”

“So the Raven Queen l-let me channel her magic f-for, uh--to heal you, because I’m garbage at it, a-and you got portal-warped away.”

Kravitz finds he’s less surprised than he thought that Barry would save him. He did tell him to duck just before he was hit, after all. “You’d think, with such a skill for moving life energy around, that one would be good at healing.”

Barry laughs. “Yeah! But, well, m-most of what necromancy does is, uh, pretty temporary. And I-I also thought that sort of magic might be, er, bad for you? Being what you are? So…”

“Huh,” Kravitz says. “Well, I do appreciate you taking the precaution. You weren’t too off the mark with that thought.” He regrets voicing that last bit when Barry starts scribbling something down in his notebook again.

Barry flips a few pages. “There’s a c-coven of sorts, uh, down south…”

Down south, there is indeed a coven: a trio of witches who have been exploiting a leak between the Astral and Material planes to steal souls. Kravitz hasn’t been able to find its exact location before; some clever shielding has thrown him off at each attempt, so he’s been waiting for a better shot.

“How ‘bout I go in first this time?” Barry asks when they arrive, and Kravitz lets him. He’s getting the vague sense of being tricked, of this slow-building trust being a ruse, but he hasn’t been disappointed so far.

Within minutes, Kravitz feels the nearby enchantments thin out, and his sense of the nearby necrotic energy sharpens. Barry walks into his field of vision surrounded by three darker cloaked figures.

“Weird, right?” Barry is saying as they walk. “A-And if you apply that to, uh, Shillelagh, you can actually--it’s possible to cast it on y-your own hand. It does get st-stuck as a fist, though. Haven’t figured out how to, uh, circumvent that one.”

Kravitz starts stepping through shadows, sneaking around behind them.

One of the witches perks up. “I feel somethin’, Bluejeans. What the hell did you--”

And then there’s a flash of fire that burns away all the plants on the ground, guided by Barry’s subtle hand movements. On a whim, Kravitz takes on the flames and shapes it into a molten golem around himself. The witches screech as Barry shapes the remaining fire into a ring enclosing them all.

“Witches of Goldmire Coven,” comes Kravitz’s voice, crackling and rasping, dripping with lava that becomes black stones on the ground before him. “I am pleased to inform you that your rift has been located, and you’ve won a free vacation to the Eternal Stockade.”

He takes them in one swing.

“You know,” Barry says as he puts out the fire and Kravitz sheds the golem, “Without m-my fire ring, they could--they would’ve escaped d-during that speech.”

“You underestimate me,” Kravitz says. With good reason, he doesn’t add. “But the risk is worth some flair, Barry.”

Barry laughs. “You’d like Lup and Taako.” Then, with a look Kravitz can’t quite discern, he adds, “H-He’d like you too.”

It’s three more bounties and nearly ten hours later when Kravitz finally asks, “You already knew the Bell wasn’t with any of these people, didn’t you?”

Barry sighs. “Y-Yeah. But it helped you out, right?”

“Immensely,” Kravitz admits. “But it doesn’t mean… Barry, you’re not hoping for a reduction on your sentence, are you? Because I can’t really--”

“N-No, no, I know,” Barry says quickly. “It’s--those people were all, uh, really awful. And I would--I think I’d have someone disappointed i-in me if I didn’t take such a good o-opportunity to, uh, get ‘em caught.” He leafs through his notebook a bit more. “That’s all.”

“So, then,” Kravitz says, “Would it be too much to hope that you don’t really know where the Grand Relic is?”

“It would,” Barry offers him a wry smile and tears a page out of his notebook. “M-Might as well go ahead w-with it now, when I can--when there’s still a good a-amount of time on the clock.”

He folds the paper over and hands it to Kravitz. “Th-those are coordinates. In the middle of the, uh, Felicity Wilds. The Animus Bell a-and both of its current holders are all--they’re within a one-hundred-foot radius of, uh, that location, so… y-you’ll definitely be able to tell if you’re in r-range.”

“The Felicity Wilds…” Kravitz looks at the coordinates, trying to recall anything he’s found there before.

“It’s called Wonderland. I-I’m not coming with you on this one, and I think--I mean, I swear I’m not being patronizing when I s-say this, but y-you shouldn’t go after it either.”

“And why’s that?”

“Th-they do this weird thing… uh, they’re liches wh-who use the Bell as a s-sort of lure, and they manage to--they utilize other people’s emotions for power i-instead of just their own. They’ve generated a-a whole building designed for, for misery, and it’s i-incredibly dangerous.”

Barry must be able to tell from Kravitz’s face that he’s not convinced, because he continues with, “B-But if you’re going there anyway, I-I… Okay. Th-they’re probably, uh, anchored to each other, being siblings. Word has it they started Wonderland when they lost someone. I-if you manage to, uh, get one of them, they other should destabilize.”

Kravitz nods. “Well, thank you for the help--”

“Oh, and their n-names are, uh… Lydia and Edward.”

Kravitz’s blood turns icier than usual, and he faces away from Barry. “Good to know.” He looks down at the coordinates. “I think I’ll take your advice for the time being, then, and regroup. I appreciate the assistance.”

“Yeah,” Barry says, awkward confusion evident in his voice. “No worries. O-Oh, and, about our deal--”

“It’s done. Both ends have been completed. You’re back on my list in…” Kravitz thinks for a moment, “eleven hours and fourteen minutes.”

Barry nods slowly, and they both stand there for a moment. “Do you want… to get lunch?”

“Neither of us eats.”

“Right, right, right,” Barry nods. “Well. Good luck with, uh, stuff. S-See you around, buddy.”

So once again, in a flash of light, Barry Bluejeans is gone. And for the first time, Kravitz doesn’t have to worry about where Barry’s gone or what the hell he’s doing.

He’ll deal with it later.

[lycorogue]

Who Wants to Meet My OCs? (Part 2 - Gyateara)

First and foremost, I meant to have this whole series to be sort of churned out the same day/week as Part 1. Life.... didn’t let that happen. I then figured “okay, I’ll update the series every Sunday” and then yesterday came and went...

Regardless, from the NEXT POST onward, I’m aiming to update every Sunday. Now, back to the series itself.

Ever since at least November, I’ve wanted to do individual posts for each of my OCs so you could meet them all. Well, I’m finally getting off my butt and working on this massive project (we’ll ignore that I’m spending hours working on this instead of my ML fanfic.... >_>).

In Part 1, I gave a broad overview of this whole Meet My OCs series, as well as gave some generic IRL background to the two main worlds my OCs hail from:

1) Gyateara

2) Glitches

Well, in this part of the series, I’m going to stay IRL as I explain where each individual OC within the Gyateara universe came from. If this is interesting to you, feel free to check below the break.

If you’d rather just skip ahead to the character bios themselves, my first one about my Glitches character Willow should be up in two weeks (sorry for the wait).

If I’m talking about Gyateara characters, I should probably talk about the one that first birthed the world: 

Amara Yori

Amara was my first-ever D&D character. I had known of the game for ages since my father used to play it frequently (and apparently roped my mother into at least running the monsters so she’d be included; ignoring that she’d rather not be included XD). 

I really got interested in D&D when I was a teen and saw the gorgeously stylized covers for AD&D ver 3.5. My father had passed away before officially introducing me to the game (although we did used to play Dungeon all the time, so that was a start...), and none of my friends were going to touch that “nerd culture” with a 10ft pole, so I simply admired the books, but never actually played. Then I went to college and managed to Nerd Out.

Hubby (then boyfriend) offered to help me build my first-ever character, but in 2004 the D&D 3.5 expansions were so massive I had far too many choices to choose from.

So Hubby had me go through some of his extra minis, and let me pick out one that I really liked. With his help, I ended up with the 2003 version of the Wood Elf Skirmisher.

Based solely on this mini, I started building Amara.

Hubby suggested that I try out the Scout class for my first one, since I couldn’t choose between a Rogue, Ranger, or Druid, and Scout is sort of in between at least the Rogue and Ranger classes. For whatever reason - I can’t remember it now - I also decided I wanted to play a half-elf.

Upon reading the generic backstory description the D&D books had for the Scout class, I figured my character needed some sort of Tragic BackstoryTM that would explain her scouting skills. Things like trap finding and dismantling, masterful rope use skills, hiding and tracking skills, and connection to animals.

I was in a big The Vision of Escaflowne kick at the time - which shows up in a couple other characters’ backstories - and was fascinated with the history between Van Fanel’s parents. Van’s human father Goau stumbled upon Varie, a Draconian woman, in the woods one day. Draconians have the ability to manifest feathered wings which allow them flight. It was rare to see a Draconian, and her beauty - with her wings shimmering in the moonlight as she waded in a small pool of water - mesmerized Goau. He instantly fell in love and brought Varie home to be his wife. The duo seemed to love each other deeply. Amara’s parents, on the other hand....

I’ll get into more when I break down their actual bios, but I took the idea of “Human stumbles upon exotic non-human in the woods and instantly marries her” and twisted it slightly. Amara’s mother was very much emotionally, and possibly even physically (I haven’t confirmed this yet), abused by Amara’s father. Amara, being a half-elf, also had to deal with abuse at the hands of many of her fellow clansmen - both the human and the elven clans; pretty much exclusively because she was a “half-breed” (Yes, I was really into InuYasha then too).

As I kept building Amara, I kept adding more and more tragedy to her backstory. I do enjoy what I created, but, especially after reading a lot of posts here on Tumblr, I’m afraid her history is nothing but a giant knotted ball of cliches and tropes. For now, though, I’m running with it. Perhaps I can figure out work-arounds later....

I never did get to play more than a session or two with Amara before the game disbanded (which seems to be a repeat thing with my gaming group), but she still lives on in my mind, and eventually in Gyateara.

Natalie

As I mentioned above, The Vision of Escaflowne very much inspired me while I was working on the earliest bits of Gyateara. Therefore, Natalie is your basic Isekai protagonist.

For those who don’t know the term (I didn’t know an official genre term existed until about a year ago), Isekai refers to a subgenre of fantasy/speculative fiction where the main character is abruptly teleported from their world to a new one; usually one with a fantasy setting.

It’s a massive subgenre and includes most of the fantasy animes I’ve watched:

InuYasha

The Vision of Escaflowne

Fushigi Yuugi

The Devil is a Part-Timer

The Rise of the Shield-hero

The Saga of Tanya the Evil

The Familiar of Zero

How to NOT Summon a Demon Lord

Sword Art Online (technically)

.Hack//Sign (technically)

Digimon (first season, specifically)

Psyren (manga)

The list can go on, but that’s not the point of this post. Getting back to the actual point, I clearly enjoyed this genre without even realizing there was a term for it, and created my own Isekai story. Natalie is from our world, but is abruptly teleported to Gyateara’s main Northern Isle, where she must save the country from being destroyed by a power-hungry, put painfully charismatic, villain.

I had taken elements from Kagome (InuYasha), Hitomi (The Vision of Escaflowne), Miaka (Fushigi Yuugi), and I think I had Ariel (The Little Mermaid) in there as well at one point. She was - and still kind of is - just “Generic Isekai Female Protagonist”, which is one of the main reasons the story she was in failed so soon into NaNoWriMo back in... 2014, I think. Almost a solid decade after I started dreaming up her Isekai story. She definitely needs to go back to the drawing board a bit to be properly fleshed out.

Connor

He was from the same story as Natalie. Connor was a denizen of Gyateara’s Northern Isles, and became Natalie’s traveling companion as he helped her try to find a way home. Ya know, that old Isekai chestnut. I even leaned heavily into the cliche and had the two of them fall in love throughout their journey. Which would lead to a third-act twist of “Okay, we can defeat the villain, but then what? Could they stay together? Would Natalie stay on Gyateara? Will Connor instead try to go home to Earth with her?” Real original. I know. Add in that Connor was a sort of Frankenstein’s monster of a character. Grab a snack, this is going to take a minute...

Connor’s traits included:

The basic backstory and drive of the player character in the video game Fable, in which his father was killed, his mother and sister tortured (and presumed dead, only to be proven still alive and captured), his home village burnt down, and he was taken in by the local guild so the guild master could train Connor to become the hero the GM believed Connor was prophesied to be.

The half-demon traits of InuYasha (InuYasha), which transformed him into a sort of were-cat. His mother, a full-demon, could become a 15ft (4.57m) tall panther with split tails. Connor’s half-demon heritage was hidden from him, and he only transformed under extreme moments of stress.

Yes. The “love interest is the only one who can snap the protag back from a monstrous rage” trope was heavily evident throughout the story.

His overall look was inspired by Link (Legend of Zelda video game franchise). His basic fighting style - swordsmanship and expert archery - was a sort of tag-teamed “thieving” from Link as well as Van (The Vision of Escaflowne).

A highly resistant, and begrudging submission to become the Hero of Prophecy lifted off of Tamahome (Fushigi Yuugi).

I know he was much more influenced by Van from Escaflowne when I was first making him. I even used Van as a reference guide when I tried to create character head shots of him. I just can’t recall now what else I swiped from that character.

I feel like there are also other male anime/video game protags I swiped traits from, but I can’t recall them anymore. Regardless, I threw them in a blender, and poured out the mixture that became Connor.

Jolene Crisslebalm

Ah, the character whose last name I always have to look up, because I can’t recall how I spelled it. Good starting point, right?

I am a very reserved person. In particular, a very sexually reserved person. But I do enjoy sex, and I love the act of flirting, and the “thrill of the chase” when it comes to dating, so a part of me always wonders what I would be like if I had let go of my reservations and just enjoyed the carnal pleasures of life.

So, two characters in particular - Willow (from Glitches) and Jolene - are my exploration of that Path Not Traveled. 

A friend of mine was hosting a D&D campaign via Roll20.net, and wondered if I wanted in. I hadn’t been involved in a D&D game in a year or so at that point, and I’ve enjoyed playing a couple of one-offs with him DMing, so I leapt at the chance to join. I had almost always played a form of Rogue class (hence the internet persona) in previous D&D campaigns, so I decided to stay the course, but with a twist I hadn’t tried before.

I wanted Jolene to be a sort of reluctant adventurer, preferring instead to be a cat burgler, but I also wanted that sexual/sensual exploration of character. So, she was a traveling prostitute (not exactly legal without proper ties to a brothel; much like a Sex Trade Guild sort of thing), but she also used her “alone time with clients” to scope out the place to see if it’s worth robbing.

Fast forward about 3 years, and I end up watching the first episode of the Freeform Marvel series Cloak and Dagger... where I saw Tandy doing the same thing, but roofying her targets instead of sleeping with them first... Great minds, and all that?

Eh, Jolene figures “might as well make money off of them before coming back and robbing the rest... less to carry later...”

In the end, while Jolene had an.... interesting run... and one I actually did enjoy role playing, even if it did leave me a bit frustrated afterwards (a good frustrated?)... Jolene just didn’t fit the world the DM created, nor did she fit in quite as well as I would have hoped with the other players.

They were all AMAZING players, by the way. Some of the best role players I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, and such fantastic writers as well. BTW, we wrote out everything in the Roll20 chat log instead of verbally playing or using video-chat. I must admit, I was quite envious of their skills. It was just a tighter knit group, and I wasn’t able to feel out their play-style well enough to continue with the group. Eventually they all had to go their separate ways anyway when their schedules no longer lined up.

Still, I LOVED Jolene, and she was the D&D character I had the joy of running the longest, so she NEEDED to live on. She did, in my first NaNoWriMo “win”. I managed to hit those 50,000 words, but I still had about 3/5ths of her story to write. 

See, while coming up with Jolene’s jaded attitude towards love and her pull towards a more hedonistic lifestyle, I went with the good old cliche of Heartbreak Was The Culprit. (With so many cliches in my character builds, is it a wonder why I just stick with fanfiction... the characters are already created...)

Jolene had her heart broken five times between the ages of 13 and 21. She was the type who fell quick into love, and fell HARD into it, and always felt intensely betrayed by her lovers when they left her. To be fair... they did routinely leave her for a woman of better social standing, or - in her youth - someone more willing to put out, or just straight up abandon her without so much as a farewell note. Eventually, she gave up on trying to find love, and joined a brothel, and then the thieves guild, and then headed out on her own from there.

The DM thought it unlikely that she was a prostitute for the better part of 5 years without a single pregnancy, so he rolled for it, and Jolene had one miscarriage, one still born, and one healthy child she gave up for adoption. I was not expecting to include that in her backstory, but it actually worked fairly well.

And all of that was the subject of my NaNo project: Lost Loves and Paramours. Jolene’s full biography leading up to the campaign: every man she fell in love with, every person she slept with, the one client who tried to murder her to avoid a scandal of his lust getting the better of him, the pain of her miscarry, the devastation of her stillborn, the heart break of giving up her surviving child, the struggles against a stalker, and her over-all YOLO attitude.

(Bitmoji is a beautiful thing...)

Well, second long post of this series is now complete. Next week, I’ll talk about the IRL inspiration for my Glitches characters. Thank you so much for indulging me on these epic ramblings.

[dr-gloom]

This Looks Like Fun

Day 7, yeah!!!

Prompt: Fall Baking

Fandom: Sander’s Sides

Pairing: LAMP/CALM

Words: 3,131

Summary: Patton’s been getting a lot of questions about the cookies people see his boyfriends eating in his videos, so he decides to make a video about them!

Tags/Warnings: some swearing, Virgil eats like, everything, very ridiculous, Human AU, Virgil goes by Anx on Tumblr and his boyfriends try to respect that

Enjoy!

AO3

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The video starts, the screen black. Voices are heard.

“Why do we have to film this?” A slightly gravelly voice grumbles. It’s hard to hear, the voice quiet.

“Because people wanna know how we make those neat-o cookies, Virge!” A bright, bubbly voice replies.

“Okay but that’s what Google is for.” The gravelly voice replies.

“I have to agree, this hardly seems like a productive use of time.” A third voice adds, calm and rhythmic in its speech pattern.

“Where is your sense of adventure? This is going to be epic!” This voice is loud, full of confidence and bravado. Its source is either close to the camera, or just painfully loud.

“Sure, if you take the cap off the lens before hitting record next time.” The gravelly voice snarks.

There’s a snort, a giggle, and a shocked cry. Suddenly, the video comes to life, the image blurred as the camera is picked up and a face not unlike a more kempt-looking Flynn Rider takes up a majority of the screen. The man smiles, his cheeks dusting with pink. “Ah, how embarrassing.” The camera moves again, showcasing a kitchen and three young men all standing around in various states of excitement. A man in a light blue polo, tan pants, and a cardigan wrapped around his shoulders bounces on the balls of his feet. His hair is a little messy, but side-swept across his forehead. Large, thick black-framed glasses sit on his face, making the green of his eyes shine. He speaks up, making it apparent that he’s the owner of the bubbly voice heard earlier.

“Hey there, Dad here! You guys might recognize me from my YouTube channel, Patty-Cake! This here,” He claps a grumpy-looking, darkly-dressed man on the shoulder, making him jump slightly. “Is V- Anx! You guys probably know all about his Tumblr, Panic-At-The-Everywhere. Isn’t he great?” Anx grumbles and gives the camera a lazy wave. “Yo.” His hands are being swallowed by the sleeves of the large black hoodie he wears, which is decorated with large sloppy white stitches and purple patches of fabric. His legs are wrapped in ripped black skinny jeans, and under his jacket he wears a purple shirt with small tears in it as well. His lips are turned down in a grimace, but his amusement is betrayed in his grey eyes.

Patton hops around Anx to throw an arm around the third man’s shoulders. “And this is Lo! I mean, Logan! He runs the science blog, Sound Logic, and the YouTube channel Nerdulator! You should check it out, he has lots of nifty science videos!” The same loud voice from before, belonging to the Flynn Rider look-alike, speaks up. “Don’t endorse nerdery on my channel!” Anx raises an eyebrow, smirking slightly from where he leans against the kitchen counter. “Nerdery?”

“Shut up, All-American Reject!”

Logan’s arms are crossed over his chest, his posture straight and proper, yet exuding calm relaxation. He pushes a pair of glasses very similar to Patton’s own up his nose, his other hand smoothing out a blue tie (which matches his eyes) over his black polo before his arms return to their crossed state. He nods at the camera. “Hello, there. As none of the others have elected to inform you all as to the task we will be engaging in, I feel it is my-“

The Flynn Rider look-alike moves so that he’s in the shot, throwing a hand out. “Hold on! We haven’t introduced the fabulous me, yet!” Logan sighs, gesturing to the man in a ‘go ahead’ manner. He perks up, smiling brightly at the camera. Ladies, lords, and non-binary royalty, welcome to my YouTube channel! I am the magnificent Prince Roman-“

“Since when are we doing last-name-first-name introductions?”

“-here to spread joy and creativity to all!” Patton’s hands come up to cup his cheeks as he smiles at Roman. “Aw, Ro! That was so cute!” Roman’s cheeks pink slightly, and he takes himself out of the shot. “Right! Well, today, fair subjects, we are going to do a collab video about those amazing Crofter’s cookies Padre loves to make!” Patton nods.

“And I wanted to do this video with everyone-“

“Since we make them together every fall-“

“And we’re putting it on Roman’s channel-“

“Because it’ll be an adventure!” Roman shouts. Patton moves to reveal a collection of various ingredients on the counter, separating them for better viewing as he lists them off. “So here we have butter, brown sugar, some eggs, vanilla extract, walnuts, flour, salt, and Crofter’s jams! I like to use apricot, strawberry, and mango, but you can use whatever flavors you want!”

Anx leans closer to Patton, grinning. “Plot twist, he uses them for the colors. They were an acquired taste.” Patton laughs and nods. “What can I say? When it comes to fall colors, I was in a bit of a-“

“Don’t.”

“-jam!”

Logan groans. Roman grins brightly and Virgil hides his snickering behind a hoodie-clad hand. Patton smiles and adds, “The link to the recipe is in the description! It’s berry easy to follow.” Logan pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket, unfolding it. “I have it here. Since I neither have the skill nor interest to participate, I shall read the directions to you all.” Patton deflates slightly but doesn’t say anything. Anx takes the strawberry jelly and pops it open while Patton is grabbing a cookie sheet and parchment paper. Anx dips his finger into the Crofter’s – much to Logan’s disgust and dismay – and pops some of the jelly into his mouth. Patton looks over, crying out and taking the jar from Anx.

“Vi- Anx! Don’t do that, it’s so unsanitary!” Anx rolls his eyes, hopping up onto the counter and kicking his feet. “Yeah, like you don’t do the same thing.” Logan raises an eyebrow, looking up from the recipe. “I sincerely hope that you do not, Patton. At least use a spoon.”

“Spoons are for people who don’t have crippling depression.”

Silence descends on the room, Patton and Logan looking at Anx with concern and confusion. “…Are you okay, Anx?”

Anx grabs the mango and scoops some into his mouth with his fingers with a smirk. Logan makes a sound that can only be accurately described as the Windows error noise and Patton takes the jar from Anx. “You stop that!  We’re supposed to be baking!”

Logan straightens up with the reminder and looks at the recipe he holds in his hands. “Alright, back to business. The first direction states to preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and grease the baking sheet.”

Patton nods, moving over to the oven with a spring in his step and setting the oven to heat up. He grabs a sheet of parchment paper, explaining to the camera, “I prefer to use these rather than wasting Pam spray and giving myself a more annoying cleanup. If you use parchment sheets, you can just pop the baking sheet straight in the washer, no rinsing off!” Logan nods. Anx looks bored, eyeing the ingredients; Patton has moved all three jellies out of his reach.

“Next, separate the egg, reserving the white-“

Patton looks over his shoulder, brows furrowed. “Wait, just one egg?” Logan nods. “Yes, Patton, only one. Don’t you know this? I’d have thought you had this recipe memorized after all these years.” Patton huffs lightly, though he doesn’t look annoyed. He takes an egg out of the carton and sets it on the counter, picking the carton up and moving to put it back in the fridge off-screen. Virgil leans over and snags the small bag of walnuts, opening it and taking a few, popping them into his mouth. As Patton comes back, he grabs the egg he’d set aside and takes a small glass bowl out of the cupboard, setting the bowl on the counter and cracking the egg open against it. He rolls the egg yolk between the two halves while the white drips into the bowl, the camera moving closer for a better view.

“Now cream the butter, sugar, and egg yolk.”

Patton nods, taking out another bowl while still holding the yolk sitting in its shell and setting that bowl down as well. He drops the egg yolk into the bowl and tosses the egg shell the two feet across to the trash can, smiling when it effortlessly makes it in. He grabs the butter and brown sugar, unwrapping the butter and tossing it in the bowl. He opens the bag of brown sugar and starts dumping it in the bowl, and Logan looks up with alarm. “Patton, wait! You need to measure that out!” There’s a snort off-camera.

Patton jumps slightly, pulling the bag back and blinking down at the bowl. There’s a decent-sized mound of brown sugar on top of the butter, and Patton laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Oops?” Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and the camera moves closer to Patton as Roman’s hand reaches out and pats him on the shoulder. “It’s okay, Pat, we can just double the recipe!” Patton perks up, smiling up at Roman. “You’re right! Thanks, Ro!” He leans out of the shot, a soft wet smacking noise preceding his return to the camera shot.

Logan sighs and goes to the fridge, coming back to Patton with another egg. “Please pay attention.”

“It might help if you, y’know, tell him how much he should be using beforehand.” Anx comments, words slurred a bit by a mouth full of walnuts. Patton looks over and pouts at Anx, plucking the bag out of his hands. “Anx, if you’re hungry just say so! I’ll make you a snack.”

“I thought that’s what we were doing.”

Patton shrugs. “Well not if you eat all the ingredients, kiddo!” Anx huffs lightly. “Whatever.” Patton turns back to the task at hand and quickly has the second egg separated. He takes an electric mixer and plugs it in, turning it on and using it to mix the brown sugar, butter, and egg yolks. Once that’s finished, he looks over at Logan.

“Add vanilla, flour and salt, mixing well.”

Patton reaches for said ingredients.

“A half a teaspoon of vanilla extract, a cup of flour, and a fourth a teaspoon of salt.”

Patton blinks and grabs the measuring cups out of a nearby drawer, smiling at Logan. “Thanks, Lo!” Logan’s cheeks pink slightly, and he nods. Patton measures out the ingredients this time, adding them to the bowl and pausing. Roman speaks up off-camera. “Patton? What is it?”

“How much mixing would you consider mixing well?”

Virgil snrks.

“I’m sure if you properly mix them until they are well blended, that should suffice.” Patton smiles and nods, mixing the ingredients and turning back to Logan with flour on his nose. Logan grins at him, obviously trying hard not to but failing. Patton blinks at him, confused. “What is it?” Logan crosses the kitchen and smiles down at Patton, reaching up and wiping the flour off his nose. “Just a bit of flour.”

The close proximity has Patton blushing. They stand like that for a long moment, the kitchen silent, until Anx clears his throat.

“This is two gay five me. Come on guys, let’s get this over with.” Roman snrks off-camera. “You’re one to talk, G Note.” Anx shoots him a glare. “We don’t mention the G note in this household.”

Patton laughs and moves to continue with the baking, and Logan goes back to reading the directions.

“Shape dough into balls. Roll in egg white, then walnuts. Place on cookie sheets about 2 inches apart. Bake for 5 minutes.” Patton does as directed and places the finished balls into the oven. Roman suddenly bursts out laughing, and the camera shot moves to focus on Anx, who’s pouring salt into his palm and eating it. Patton looks up at the laugh, following Roman’s gaze and making a distressed sound. Anx looks directly into the camera with a smirk. “I’m eating salt because my life’s falling apart.” Roman starts laughing harder, the camera shaking, and Patton pulls Anx into a hug, taking the salt from him.

Anx snrks and pats Patton’s back. “It’s a joke, Patton, come on. I’m fine.” Patton mumbles something into Anx’s shoulder, and Logan steps between the camera and the duo on the counter. “We will be right back with the final part of the process once the cookies have cooled.” He puts his hand over the camera.

The video cuts to a scene fifteen minutes later. All four men are sitting at the table with thin plastic cutting boards in front of them. Each board has thumbprint cookies on them, the jellies seen earlier in the middle of the table. There are plastic knives and a small pile of toothpicks as well. Patton smiles at the camera, waving. “Hey there, welcome back! So once the cookies are out, you usually press an indent into them with your thumb and just fill the hole with jelly, but for this particular design, we pressed them a little flat!” He holds up a cookie to show the camera. “So what we’re doing now is we’re gonna take these jellies and use the knives and toothpicks to make leaves on the cookie!”

Anx groans, his chin resting in his hand. “You make it sound so easy.”

Roman grins. “Maybe it would be if you didn’t kill your brain cells ingesting all that salt.”

Anx opens his mouth to respond, but Patton cuts him off. “So we’re gonna start off taking the knife and putting a little jelly on the cookie!” He does so, showing the small dollop of jelly on the cookie in his hand. “I don’t put too much, ‘cause we’re gonna be spreading it into points, like this.” He takes a toothpick, gently scraping the jelly into five fine points on the cookie. He grins at the camera, showing off the final product. “And don’t be too worried if it doesn’t look exactly like this! It takes a lot of practice!”

Anx sets down a cookie, now freshly jellied, and huffs. “Great, wish you’d told me that sooner. Can I go take a nap now?” Logan sets down his own cookie, a brief glimpse showing a leaf with five rather round-looking points. “No, you may not. You are helping to provide reassurance to our audience that Patton’s perfection cannot be expected on the first attempt. That, and you agreed to do this with us.” Anx grumbles something unintelligible and picks up another cookie. Patton smiles at Logan and goes back to making another leaf.

Once the four are done, Roman picks up the camera and does a close-up of all of their cookies, their names showing up in the bottom right corner of the video with each presentation. The camera moves back up to focus on Patton, who places the cookies on the baking sheet and puts them back in the oven. “Now we cook these for eight minutes, and we’re done!”

The video cuts to the four men standing in their living room, a common sight in Logan’s videos and occasionally in Patton’s and Roman’s. Anx and Logan are stuffing their faces with cookies as Roman and Patton smile into the camera, Patton speaking up first. “Thanks for joining us today! I hope you all enjoyed the video and make some tasty treats of your own! If you do, tag one of us on Twitter or Tumblr! I had so much fun, you guys really baked my day!” Logan stops eating to groan and roll his eyes, and Anx chokes on a cookie. “Oh no, V- Anx! Are you okay?” Patton moves to help Anx, who disappears off-camera, and Roman takes over.

“Well… While they sort that out, let me end on a high note! I hope all of you fabulous viewers out there have had a wonderful day, and I hope to see you next time! In the immortal words of the great Mr. Rogers, you make the world better just by being you. Until next time, take it easy ladies, lords, and non-binary royalty! Salutations!” The video goes dark and ends.

Virgil sits back in his desk chair and sighs, rubbing his face. He looks over at his bed where Roman sits criss-cross, gripping his shins with a look of anticipation. “I can’t believe you actually posted that. And left in all that embarrassing shit.” Roman looks confused. “What do you mean?” Virgil’s mouth quirks to the side and he shrugs.

“All the awkward pauses and screw-ups and me fucking choking on a cookie. Why’d you leave that stuff in?”

Roman sits up, letting go of his legs to fold his hands in his lap. “Because those are the best parts.”

Virgil looks over at him, confused. “How? They were all accidents and totally screwed with the flow of the video.” Roman smiles. “Exactly!” When Virgil’s expression doesn’t change, he continues. “Those are the parts that give the video life! They’re the most organic; they give viewers a glimpse into out daily lives. Those are the parts where we show how human we are, and how we love each other and enjoy what we do. Without those ‘screw-ups’, the video would just be some boring instructional video on making cookies!”

Virgil looks back at the computer before looking at Roman. “…I never thought of it like that. I guess I can see why you’re so good at your job, then.” Roman beams with pride and waves Virgil over. Virgil smiles slightly and gets up, moving to his bed to sit next to Roman. Roman pulls him close, smiling as he stares at a P!ATD poster.

“My favorite part is when we all realized you were eating salt out of your palm like a bird.”

Virgil snrks, the sound evolving into full-on laughter. Roman’s smile grows at the sound; he loved it so much but didn’t get to hear it as much as he’d like. He kisses the top of Virgil’s head, and Virgil calms down to respond with, “How about when Patton dumped like a cup of brown sugar in the bowl?” Roman laughs, nodding.

“That was pretty great. Logan’s face was priceless. Oh! And when they totally had that moment? They looked like they were back in high school, do you remember? When they were always-“

“Pining after each other, and everyone could tell except for them because it was obvious but they were too daft? Yeah, I remember.” Virgil grins and relaxes into Roman’s side. They sit there in silence for a moment before Virgil speaks up. “I guess you can keep the video up.”

Roman snrks. “Thank you so much for the approval, your majesty.”

“Hey, at least my last name isn’t Prince.”