#as though that hasn’t been my mode for like. six years

[brynnamonroll]

Everyone playing FE7 on NSO has gotten me thinking about Them again… here’s a lil sketch of Ninian for you

[techtired]

Tesla Cybertruck: Excellent Engineering Restrained In 2024

Since Elon Musk smashed a glass in it on stage in 2019, it has been the most discussed automobile ever. The Tesla Cybertruck is the outstanding vehicle of the year. It does not mean that the car is the best one for 2024. Indeed, the "bulletproof" stainless steel Tesla pickup represents the most extreme manifestation of our split society of fear, and thanks to Musk's money, its creation was anything from typical. Still, you can now purchase an actual automobile with Bioweapon Defense Mode included. Regardless of what I say going forward, it's okay if you don't change your view about the Cybertruck. Driving turned out to be fun. Does that imply that everyone should have one or that I want one? Not regularly. I'll take care of it. As a technical showpiece, it is equally striking and distinctive and offers a fresh concept that might improve trucks and other commercial vehicles. How Does Tesla Cybertruck Work? The Cybertruck is the first to have a stainless steel body since the DeLorean DMC-12. Though its wedge-shaped body does not show a Tesla branding anywhere, you can easily distinguish it from other vehicles on the road. Four-wheel handling, a 123-kWh battery pack that can be employed, a six-foot bed four feet wide, and ground clearance of up to sixteen inches are features of all Cybertruks. Like all Teslas, The truck's controls are largely on a large 18.5-inch tablet in the middle and a 9.4-inch touchscreen in the rear. What I Felt While Driving? The standard model Cybertruck with two motors and all-wheel drive runs $79,990; the Cyberbeast with three motors runs $99,990. Tesla also specifies a rear-drive vehicle scheduled for production in 2025 on its website. For now, let's only discuss the AWD models you might be able to afford. I drove a twin-motor Foundation Series truck. It was a launch model with all-terrain tires, distinctive trim and logos, and a home charger operating in both directions. The Foundation Series is mainly there so that keen Cybertruck purchasers may bypass the queue for an additional $20,000. With two engines and an all-wheel drive, the Cybertruck can run from 0 to 60 mph in 4.1 seconds and has a 340-mile range. Conversely, the Cyberbeast runs for 2.6 seconds and forfeits 20 miles of range. In an eighth-mile drag race, you saw the Cyberbeast in Tesla's introduction film pulling another 911 while beating a Porsche 911. My Views On The Tesla Cybertruck's driving technique: The Cybertruck is steer-by-wire; hence, there is no mechanical link or steering column between the front wheels and the steering wheel. Instead, electronic motors turn all four wheels; the steering wheel has a rapidly adjustable ratio. In actual life, this transforms everything. Making 90- and 180-degree turns doesn't need you to cross your hands. Just move the steering wheel about 75 degrees for a right turn; turn the wheel around for a U-turn, roughly 120 degrees. To find out how far to spin the steering wheel, you need not move it or clasp your hands together. It makes turning simpler, and when coupled with the low center of gravity of the Cybertruck, it feels far more flexible than it is. Understanding The Design Is Important It's hard to talk about the Cybertruck if you don't mention how it looks. The Tesla truck's doorstop shape hasn't changed much since it was first shown in 2019. This is during a time when concept cars don't often make it to production, and auto design directors complain about "jelly bean" EVs. Everything else has changed, but I'm getting off track. As you drive, cell phones appear all over the place. Men point and gently poke their partners. In bed, women blink and poke their partners. Dogs shake with fear. Okay, not that last one. You must be comfortable being the center of attention when driving a Cybertruck. I never got the hang of it, maybe because I was shy in high school. Still, this kind of care was fair and suitable for everyone. More than anyone else, buyers liked the truck the most. I thought they would laugh. Even though the Cybertruck looks cold, you should be very nice if you own one. They look appealing alone, mainly from the side and three-quarter perspectives. Nothing is too much bother; a car looking like an eight-year-old's future sketch is appealing. From straight on, the front and rear seem a little weighty. Practically, Cybertruck's stainless steel construction is a fingerprint magnet, which already presents a challenge for its owners. One day of driving was all it took to get the trunk, doors, and rear view filthy. You'll get used to having others see your unclean refrigerator, or you'll have microfiber towels and spray cleaner with you every time you visit. Points to the first person who places an alphabet magnet on it. Points To Remember! Problems arise not only from the unusual form of the Cybertruck. Discerning massive sail panels, a small rear window, a giant console, and tall A-pillars up front is challenging. To view the camera feed in the rearview mirror—a shockingly cheap addition—you must take your eyes off the road and down at the dash tablet. If you signal to change lanes, it disappears and is replaced with a camera searching for blind areas. You won't be able to, so another vehicle will probably keep far away as they can see this object approaching from a mile away. Additionally, it is challenging to load goods from the sides into the bed because the large side slabs provide the truck with their wedge-like form. Rivals of Tesla Cybertruck Although most Cybertruck customers might not do extensive cross-shopping, it's interesting how it ranks versus other electric trucks in its class—the GMC Hummer EV, Rivian R1T, and Ford F-150 Lightning. Though blocky and refrigerator-like, the Cybertruck is among this class's smaller vehicles. The high-performance "Cyberbeast" tops the scales at 6,843 pounds; the dual-motor variant weighs 6,603 pounds. Though heavier than the 6,015-pound Ford F-150 Lightning, the Cybertruck is over a ton lighter than the 9,063-pound Hummer EV, several hundred pounds lighter than the 7,148-pound Rivian R1T. Though smaller than the substantial 212-kWh pack of the Hummer, the 123-kWh battery pack is comparable to the extended-range batteries Ford and Rivian employ. With an 18-inch larger bed extending six feet in length, the Cybertruck is six inches longer than the Rivian. It is three inches narrower, though, which makes loading from any direction save the rear more challenging. Price Comparison with Rivals At $79,990, the all-wheel-drive Cybertruck fits Rivian's Dual-Motor AWD R1T with its big 135-kWh battery pack. Performance is similar, and the Cybertruck provides a similar range of 340 miles as opposed to the R1T's EPA estimates. Still, buying a Cybertruck for the posted price could prove challenging. The Cybertruck is positioned in the Foundation Series alongside the Max-pack Performance R1T from Rivian, which boasts 410 miles of range. Though a range-extending battery will be available for the Cybertruck, it is projected to occupy a third of the truck bed and cost $16,000. With the extended range pack, which gives 320 miles, the Ford F-150 Lightning Lariat level starts at $77,495. In terms of specs, this closely corresponds with the Cybertruck AWD. Value for money favors Ford and Rivian until the Cybertruck enters mass production. Closing Notes Although the Tesla Cybertruck is a remarkable electric car, its unusual design and current price approach slightly compromise it. Though the innovation behind the Cybertruck is creative—particularly about its steering system—the design restrictions and price range have confined it to being more of a novelty than a helpful tool like its competitors. Driven and maneuvered like a significantly smaller vehicle, this three-ton truck is Although there is always potential for development, the present performance of the Cybertruck begs questions about how much better—or worse—it could have been. I can't picture myself buying a Cybertruck for now; if you are still reading this instead of sharing the most recent Elon Musk updates, you might not. But if Cybertruck's technology points to the future, what follows will surely be worth seeing. Let me say, trust me. Read the full article

[dine-on-nervine]

questions to get to know people

what song makes you feel better? Depeche Mode “World In My Eyes”

what’s your feel-good movie? I don’t claim to have one.

what’s your favorite candle scent? Burma-Shave

what flower would you like to be given? A hanging pot of schizanthus.

who do you feel most you around? Wayne.

say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical). That’d be six things.

what color brings you peace? Purple.

tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good.That would not make them feel good, so I won’t be selfish.

what calms you down? Phenobarbital.

what’s something you’re excited for? Boobies.

what’s your ideal date? Going to a distant place, having a great dinner with drinks with my wonderful girlfriend, then going back to our excellent place with a view for hours of conversation then we both come twice.

how are you? I do not feel nauseous, I do have a little soreness but I have the day off so that should let up, my bowels do not appear to be in an uproar, I’ll be thrifting in an hour or two so that will make me happy, I woke up with my girlfriend at her house today which hasn’t happened since June, and far as I know beside the horrid dogshit smell of the rest of the house (causing me to have to keep my bedroom window shut else the smell comes through the doorframe) all is well in the world.

what’s your comfort food? Hamburgers.

favorite feel-good show? I don’t claim to have one but a lot of home improvement shows -- not the contest variety, the ones where shit actually gets fixed for real -- are up on the list.

for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word. This seems dependant on others so no reply possible.

compliment the person who sent you this number. Again...

fairy lights or LED lights? Fairy lights -are- LED lights.

do you still love stuffed animals? No real change there.

most important thing in your life? Happiness.

what do you want most in the world right now? Boobies. Biological females, please make my world right now in my Submit.

if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be? You made some serious wrong turns because no one told you otherwise when they should have, so you must tell yourself the right way to go. You know which way that is, this you’re aware of, you just have to convince yourself to follow that path. Also, the summer before your sophomore year: Ignore that person who just jammed something in your ass pocket while you’re in a long hug with the person you’d been dreaming about for years; you were on the right path then stupidly dove off it, and later it bit you in the ass repeatedly.

what would you say to your future self? I learned things but did I learn enough?

favorite piece of clothing? Don’t know.

what’s something you do to de-stress? Thriftshopping.

what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.) I don’t think anyone’s given me a mixtape in a long time. Boobies would be nice too.

what movie would you want to live in? None of the above, though like most kids my age I think Ferris Bueller had an enviable universe.

which character would you want to be? I dunno. Ferris was the center of attention and the fun one, Sloane absorbed the fun, Cameron was along for the ride white-knuckling. I am fun but don’t need to be the center of attention or do all the work. I’m somewhere between Sloane (without the romance) and Cameron (without the neuroses).

hugs or hand-holding? Gimme both.

morning, afternoon or night? Night.

what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)? Roaming through big weedy fields on bike trails.

[gayrobos]

blessings upon the 2 people who liked my tfoc posts. have some torture and gore and betrayal.

for reference here’s diabolica’s alt mode. which she is not using in this. I just think it’s neat.

[ID: black and yellow robot mantis covered in circular saws and chainsaws and scythes and shit. end ID]

She gets taken to an unpleasant room that smells like congealed energon, mech fluid, and despair. And there in the doorway is a terribly familiar silhouette, so familiar that for a moment she wonders when this is. Mantix died six thousand years ago, before the operation, she couldn't possibly be seeing her. No, this is now. And that's not Mantix. Lots of people could have the same alt mode and color scheme. Anyway, Mantix would recognize her, even though she's changed her alt. But she really, really looks like her.

"Are you the bodyguard?" asks not-Mantix. She speaks in Mantix's flat, disinterested voice, like a fucked up parody of Hyla's millennia-dead best friend. It's not an affect Hyla ever thought of as frightening; it was just Mantix. Now it's extremely frightening. Hyla wonders whether she's finally starting to unravel.

"I literally don't know anything, I only know where we were going to transmit, and I'll tell you that for free. It's not important intel."

"Of course you don't know anything," says not-Mantix. "I wouldn't use torture if you did. It's a terrible interrogation tactic."

Hyla is really starting to freak out now. "Then what do you WANT?"

"From you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. My bosses are interested in how you do what you do, but I'm not. I'm just here to hurt you."

Hyla considers bravado, but it wouldn't do any good, and it wouldn't make her feel any better. But there is one glimmer of hope---not-Mantix takes off the stasis cuffs after she's strapped down. She puts venom production into overdrive.

"---nent." Dull burning pain inside her chest, where she can't see, like something's come loose, sensors going wild, aware that this mech doesn't intend to kill her but also very aware that that doesn't mean she'll necessarily ever be fine again. Not-Mantix raises one of her alt legs and its disclike joint, which is---no, no---a circular saw. It dips toward her open chest and she deactivates her optics, not wanting to know when it's coming. The moment it does jerks a scream out of her, quickly muffled.

And then the pain is gone. Fans whirring loudly, she turns her optics on and forces her energon lines open again; she's not bleeding. The interrogator is still several feet away, watching her. Oh, this is bad. If the Decepticons find out what she really is, she's going to get her fucking brain dissected. She whimpers, playing up her fear, though it's only a matter of time before not-Mantix figures it out anyway. Her only hope is to make sure the interrogator doesn't leave here alive.

Not-Mantix steps closer, and Hyla tries not to flinch, because she'll get the timing wrong. But it's hard not to as her chestplate's opened up, when she already knows what's going to happen. "Don't worry. This will only be semi-perman---"

Hot energon drips over her internals, and the pain returns. She fucking wishes it wouldn't skip around, but it always does that more when she's upset, like her mind is trying to escape. Hyla's fans stutter and gasp, and the interrogator tilts her head. "It was as if you didn't feel anything at all," she murmurs. "What kind of monster did they make?"

Hyla steels herself. Says through gritted teeth, "I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to." She'll stay in the present, not that she really knows how to control that, but if she wills it it's got to happen.

Twelve minutes and another even longer absence later (she can now place this moment from a couple years ago), she's reaching the end of her tolerance. She hasn't been able to scratch the interrogator yet. If there's any chance it can throw her off... why not try? "I have to..." she says faintly. "Mantix... please..."

"What?" asks the interrogator sharply. As Hyla hoped, she leans in.

"I know you're not her," says Hyla even more quietly. "But you look so much like Mantix."

She doesn't think about the way the interrogator goes still, because her hand is leaned next to Hyla's hood. Quick as a flash Hyla turns her head and sinks her teeth into the mech's hand, pumping in venom.

She cries out and hits Hyla in the face, trying to pull her hand away and finally succeeding, although she totally mangles it in the process. "How do you know that name?" she asks, as if Hyla didn't just bite through her hand until teeth met.

"Just an old friend," says Hyla. "Just a distraction."

But the mech's eyes are burning into hers. "You got reframed." Doesn't the venom fucking hurt? It was meant to. "I didn't recognize you. I thought you were dead, Hyla."

A shudder goes through Hyla. "You're not her."

"It seems the war has changed you more than me."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Hyla snarls. The interrogator is standing close enough for Hyla to sink envenomed claws into her leg; she just fucking takes it. "If that shy awkward mech from geosciences saw what you've turned her into she'd go stick her head in a jet engine." She's /heard/ of this mech before, the torturer, the one who lets prisoners go when she's done with them just so the next Autobot she gets under her knife will be even more terrified. They call her Diabolica.

"They call you a monster," says Diabolica. "A machine for killing and nothing else. They say when you're hunting you let your prey run only because you know they can't escape."

The rest of the story everyone knows is that it's slow venom that makes sure no-one escapes. The Decepticon medics have enough corpses to put that together. Maybe Diabolica thinks this will be a slow venom too, but Hyla's injected too much of it. Diabolica slumps over her, trembling with the effort of holding herself up. "Guess you had it wrong who was the hunter," says Hyla.

"I'm sorry," says Diabolica. "Your intel mech is already dead. You should have at least an hour before anyone comes looking for me. Medical supplies are in the cupboard on the left. I can't tell you much... ab-bout the guard rotations... but, but you don't need me to." She spasms, obviously muting her vocalizer on a cry of pain, and falls off the slab onto the ground. Then she drags herself back up to enter a code into the slab, unlocking the cuffs. And Diabolica falls again.

Hyla rips through the open cuffs with her claws, as much to vent her sudden fury as to make it look like she escaped on her own. Can she trust Diabolica's word that Magnetron is dead? What does she even...

First order of business is to get back in fighting condition. She grimaces down as she steps over the collapsed mech, who set her free when she might have instead called the guards. If Diabolica had wanted to fuck her over, she could very well be dead by now. Instead it's Diabolica who has about two hours to live.

Hyla crouches down and turns Diabolica over to get a better angle. Sinks her teeth into Diabolica's neck to inject antivenom, just enough that her body won't entirely shut down; just enough to buy her another day or so.

Then she locates a medkit and gets to work.

[babyloposts]

New BakuBaby

(Ughhh I love this anime. Any excuse to use my baby Kotaro I’m gonna take)

Dilf!Bakugou x poc!fem!reader

—————————————————

You and Katsuki knew better than to let lil mama get comfortable, but that’s exactly what you did. 5 years of blissful marriage with your little girl (that wasn’t so little anymore) and you felt that now was a good time to start over and have another. Katsuki wasn’t opposed to the idea he was more worried about how your daughter would react. She had already gone 13 years being an only child and she was spoiled rotten. Neither of you had any idea how she would react.

But one late night, coming home 2 bottles of wine deep after a date, the protests of your teenager were the last of yours and Katsuki’s worries. Plus you just so conveniently stopped taking your birth control about a month ago, so the timing was perfect.

Katsuki must have had some Olympic swimmers even after all these years because it only took one try before you were missing your period and waking up with morning sickness. Your husband was surprised, nervous, excited, and ecstatic all rolled into one. He forgot what it was like to have a new born and he was so happy that he would be experiencing all the highs and lows of pregnancy with the love of his life.

You waited well after your first trimester to announce your pregnancy to people and the first on the list was the most nerve-wracking, your daughter. You and Katsuki sat her down on the couch together and presented her with a small Polaroid. It took her all of a second to realize what was going on.

“We’ll it took you long enough.” She chuckled. Katsuki’s nose and brows scrunched at his baby girl’s reaction. He was expecting a full blown meltdown but it seemed she was being mature? “It would have been nice for us to not have such a big age gap, I mean 13 years? I’m practically gonna raise the baby myself.” Well nice to know one thing hasn’t changed. She still had no type of filter.

“You’re happy, then?” You asked hope practically radiating from your skin.

“Yeah, of course I am! I pretty much figured it out a month ago, though.”

“Wha- you did?” Katsuki questioned.

“Duh. All the signs were there. Morning sickness, the glow, plus Mom’s boobs have gotten bigger.”

Yep, no filter.

All your friends and family were super excited and supportive about you being pregnant and your pregnancy wasn’t that bad. At least, your first trimester wasn’t that bad. You didn’t start getting big until you were six months in and that’s when pregnancy, with all of its cravings, aches and mood swings, hit you with full force.

Katsuki, of course was super protective over you. Basically waiting on you hand and foot throughout your third trimester. He’d give you massages on your back and swollen feet, hold your baby bump up for you, run your baths, make late night trips to the store and whatever fast food you were craving (even if he would act like it was a burden to him, he wanted to go out for you). He was perfect, albeit a little over protective, especially when his friends came to visit you.

“Stop crowding her, and leave my kid alone! They’re kicking cuz they want your hands off of his home.”

“Y/N, is he always like this?” Mina giggled.

“Yeah even with his mother. He’s such a helicopter parent, and husband.” You laughed rubbing your bump with care.

“No I am not!”

Katsuki was so cute. He was just happy to be experiencing everything with you since he wasn’t around the first time. Even with Hero work you and his family came first, always.

The day finally came to push that big headed baby out of your cooch and you don’t know who was more annoying in the delivery room. Katsuki who was freaking the fuck out the entire time, his mother who was yelling at him to calm down because he was getting you worked up, or your daughter who was giving you a full play by play of what the doctor was seeing down there as you pushed. If it weren’t for your own mother being there, holding your hand, to keep you sane you might have kicked them all out and birthed the baby alone.

Once your daughter announced that the head was coming out Katsuki went into dutiful husband mode holding your other hand and telling you to keep breathing. A few insults were hurled at Katsuki for putting you in this pain, but he knew you didn’t mean it and it would all be worth it in the end.

And finally your son was in your arms and the mixture of your cries with his were filling the room.

Soon you settled into your new life of sleepless nights and living only to serve your little parasite precious baby. Katsuki somewhat knew what he was doing. He got full custody of your daughter when she was four months so he knew the basic needs that was required for a new born. He just couldn’t comprehend how cute and tiny he was.

No amount of cuteness can make up for all the screaming this baby did, however. Katsuki wasn’t used to fussy babies. When your daughter was small she would have her tantrums and meltdowns, but it seemed your son just cried for no reason. He wouldn’t want to feed, he had a clean diaper, and if Katsuki rocked him he wouldn’t go to sleep. The only thing that would calm him down was his mommy. And his sister surprisingly.

“How come he shuts up when you hold him.” Katsuki would pout after handing the baby off to you to cuddle in bed.

“Because he’s a mommy’s boy. Plus I’m prettier than you.”

“This is my woman son. You can’t have her.” Katsuki would pinch the little chub on your son’s cheek, causing him to stop feeding to look up at him with the stankest face he could muster.

“Aww look Katsu~ Baby’s first mean mug.”

A/N: I am so in love with this blended family head cannon. I think I’ll make another part showing the dynamic between the kids because something about older girls having younger sibling that they treat like their own baby. Ughhh it’s too cute I can’t 😩 anyways I hope you enjoyed this continuation (also I should probably name the kids… I’ll think abt it. Suggestions welcome :))

Original Post

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Dimitrescu Daughter HCs

I thought this would only take a few minutes. I was so, so very wrong. Anyway, some of these are somewhat exclusive to my fic (Serenade), but they’ll make sense even if you haven’t read that.

Daniela:

Others have already talked about how Daniela reads a ton of romance novels, so I’m not really going to go into that very much, just saying that I agree 100%, I mean c’mon, it’s practically canon.

While she mainly sources books from her family’s library, there are a few she’s “acquired” over the years that she keeps locked away in her room. These tend to be a bit, ahem, steamier than her mother would approve of/let her read under normal circumstances.

How did she get these? Well, there has to be someone who delivers goods to Castle Dimitrescu (Duke, perhaps?), seeing as the Maidens need, like, actual food to survive. Sometimes Daniela manages to convince them to order books for her, usually just asking for books by authors she likes, or ones she’s heard maidens whispering about.

No, the delivery person does not read the book’s summaries or reviews, they have a feeling (based on titles and covers alone) that they don’t want to know.

As for her experiences with actual romance… she’s so very, very excited about it, all the time. Wants to kiss every cute Maiden she sees, and sometimes daydreams about a beautiful woman fleeing from lycans who comes to the castle for shelter, clinging to Dani for warmth and protection, and it’s love at first sight, and they kiss and kiss and right as it gets to the good part-! Someone interrupts her daydream (usually Cassandra).

However, her actual experiences are fairly limited. Sure, she has kissed Maidens, but she tends to get over excited. Like in Serenade, she starts to rush the process, and usually ends up draining her “lover” aka victim before anything more intimate happens.

She’s definitely done sexual things, just, well, not with other people. Private things. Usually during or after reading one of her special books. You get the picture.

Because of this, and her aforementioned love of romance novels, Daniela has become somewhat obsessed with the idea of her first time. She wants everything to be perfect. The setting, the timing, who she’s with… Hence her reaction in chapter 3 of Serenade. It’s not that she didn’t want to continue, just that the circumstances didn’t feel right. She’s very particular!

Favorite Music Genre: Girl goes wild for an emotional, gut-wrenching love/power ballad. The type to lie in bed and cry while listening to Hozier or Lorde (not that she can hear either of them, considering her limited music options). Doesn’t admit it, though, and mostly listens to indie pop when other people can hear. That and whatever the Maiden plays on piano ;)

Okay it feels weird to joke about her loving music I wrote, anywayyyy

Hobbies: Other than reading there’s not too much I can see her doing, really. She’d be sure to get into anything that her s/o enjoys, though, even if it’s something difficult or time-consuming. Writing is something she’d love, but it’s difficult for her to keep her focus on just one project at a time. Ideally she’d write short stories, romantic ones obvs, and have someone else proofread/edit them. For the most part she’d write within fantasy and historical setting (seeing as she’s got experience in both of those departments).

ADHD, BABY. Bigtime, seriously. Maybe this is just my adhd ass projecting, but I can’t not see her as having it. For her it mainly manifests with hyper-focusing/difficulty staying on task. It’s like a switch with those on either end, flipping back and forth every once in a while. She can spend six hours reading two different books in one sitting, but if someone just breathes too loudly it disrupts her completely. Because of this she’s somewhat prone to abandoning projects. It’s a sore subject for her, and her sisters are aware, normally only bringing it up if they’re really angry with her.

Opinions on the four lords: Thinks Heisenberg is a tool (pun intended), also thinks that he secretly reads super erotic novels. She doesn’t have any proof, though, and would never say anything about it out loud. Just makes fun of him in her head. Doesn’t actually judge him for what she thinks he reads, just judges his personality and the “need he feels to hide his secret”. Loves Donna, and low-key thinks she’s attractive. Daniela mostly bases that off the portrait she’s seen, but, like many fans, also thinks the hands are nice. The puppets don’t bother her, though she also doesn’t really care about them, other than thinking that Donna interacting with them is cute.

Opinions continued: Moreau is… uh… fish boy. Daniela thinks he’s weird, kinda gross, and hardly considers him a “real” lord. Poor boy :(  At least she doesn’t actively make fun of him?... Even if that’s only because she kinda forgets about him most of the time. As for Lady Dimitrescu, well, obviously Daniela loves her mom. The whole family is very close, and as the “youngest”, Daniela gets a lot of attention. Sometimes she thinks her mother is too strict, but at the end of the day there’s no love lost.

Bela:

Cleans up after her sisters a lot, but still nowhere near as much as any of the Maidens do. Often agrees to help with messes in exchange for blackmail material. “Oh, Daniela, what a shame you broke mother’s favorite dish… I could help, but you owe me one.” At the end of the day, though, there’s plenty she would slide.

Being the “oldest”, she’s expected to behave the best, and often feels more restricted than her sisters. Being an example is hard! Occasionally she’ll have the impulse to rebel, but this usually only manifests in scenarios like the one mentioned above, aka she’ll simply be more lenient of her siblings for a bit.

Overall far less sadistic than her sisters. Cares more about the quality of pain then the amount of it. Only ever goes overboard if someone full out threatens or hurts her family. Insults towards them still earn her ire, and will get her to punish someone, but it’s not enough to make her resort to torture. Usually.

Gets the most restless out of the three. As cool (and large) as the castle is, it’s all she’s ever really known. If not for her weakness to cold, she’d go out on hikes a lot. Nature interests her, fascinates her, but she’d be a little less fond of most of it in person. Like, oh, waterfalls sound so cool, followed by a hundred complaints about the noise. Thinks deer are the cutest shit ever (second only to humans, maybe).

Unlike Daniela (though that HC is relevant almost exclusively to Serenade), Bela has actually slept with a Maiden before. She doesn’t really care for them enough to consider it a relationship, instead admiring them for their entertainment value. Definitely could fall for a Maiden, simply hasn’t yet. Of the three I feel like she takes the longest to fall in love, and even longer to actually act on her feelings. Sometimes resents her siblings because they unknowingly “claimed” a Maiden that she was starting to be interested in. However, she fully acknowledges that she should have said something if she didn’t want to lose the girl, considering the situation they live in.

Favorite music genre: Classical, full orchestra style, with a soft spot for swing/jazz. Enjoys having music play softly while she reads, and is very particular about the volume. Absolutely would argue with her sisters if they tried to change the music or turn it up.

Hobbies: Reading, duh. Less interested in romance than Daniela by a considerable amount. For the most part she reads non-fiction books, enjoying learning about history and the sciences. Astronomy is at the top of her favorites list, followed by biology, then obscure (and often bloody) pieces of history. Niche=perfect. Also enjoys music, even if she had to rely mostly on self-teaching books. Knows the basics of piano, but doesn’t actively play, much preferring both the violin and harp. Most of the time she’ll only play if she knows her sisters won’t bother her, or if her mother asks her to.

Opinions on the four lords: Admires Heisenberg’s work/his edgenuity, but thinks the actual man is a temperamental child… who smells like wet dog. He’s only been at Castle Dimitrescu a couple times (per Mother Miranda’s request), and both times Bela moved to the other side of the house so she wouldn’t have to acknowledge his existence. While she would never admit it, she’s low-key creeped out by Donna’s dolls, and really only tolerates Angie. However, she would never act on her nerves, out of consideration for Donna’s feelings. She knows that her mother gets along well with the dollmaker, and keeps this at the forefront of her mind.

Opinions continued: “Moreau who? Oh, the fish guy? He’s still alive?... Good for him.” Wants to make Lady Dimitrescu proud, but not as desperately as Cassandra. Unknowingly mimics a lot of her mother’s little habits and ticks, and would be quietly embarrassed if someone pointed it out to her. As mentioned previously, she feels like she has to be an example for the others, and somewhat resents the pressure this puts on her. On the other hand, she does enjoy being “responsible for” (read: in charge of) her sisters. Additionally, she is the most likely to get away with lying to Alcina, though she does not often do so. This isn’t because she’s the most manipulative (that’s Cass), or the best liar (that’s Dani, if she’s trying), but simply because Alcina doesn’t think her oldest daughter would lie. Even if she doubts something Bela says, she’ll usually give her the benefit of the doubt… as long as it doesn’t happen very often.

Cassandra:

Sleeps the most of the three, if only because she’s the most active of them. Not as fast as the others while in swarm mode, but the fastest on foot, partially because she’s more likely to simply walk places. She knows the sound of feet on the floor scares the Maidens, and she drinks their fear with utter pleasure. Additionally she claims that it just feels nice to “stretch her legs”. But she will not hesitate to enter swarm mode when chasing someone. As fun as it is to smell their fear, she can get impatient, wanting to get close and personal to her target.

Tends to hide most of her feelings, sometimes even opting to “convert” them into anger. In other words, think of her emotional state as an ever-filling bottle of water. As things happen, she feels emotions, and the rate at which water pours into the bottle increases. Ideally if the water level started getting too high, she would address whatever is increasing the flow of water. Instead of that, she often uses anger, which is equivalent to shaking the bottle a bit and letting water messily spill out of it. Doesn’t address the actual problem, but let’s her release some pressure/free up some room.

Goes through Maidens faster than her siblings (yes, even Daniela “draining you of blood is romantic” Dimitrescu). Not all of them even die in the basement, sometimes what was supposed to be a “warning” turns into “oh shit the blood won’t stop coming out, this is how I die, in this accursed castle, no friends or family to mourn me, just the painful knowledge that I will not be the last, I will die for no cause, no glory, just the bitter whims of a blood-soaked mistress” or something along those lines.

While more likely to get attached to someone than Bela, Cassandra isn’t one to do much about it. She might flirt, might even try to kiss (or, uh, kiss while also not wearing clothes wink wink), but she won’t (usually) claim someone as her own, or protest if one of her sisters wants to have some fun with them (even if it’s the bloody kind of fun). Technically gets over breakups and “breakups” (i.e. death) easier than either of her sisters. To be fully accurate, Daniela still goes through lovers faster, but she also remembers them and cares for them for longer post-breakup.

Somewhat of a blood kink. Like, more than vampires automatically have. In intimate settings she cares more about the quantity of blood and what she can do with it (loves bloodstains) than what causes the bloodshed.

Favorite music genre: Rock ‘n roll. Leans towards older stuff, as well as heavier songs. Soft spot for symphonic metal, but doesn’t admit it out of the fear that some might consider it a “weaker form” of the genre. Almost exclusively listens to bands that have female vocalists, and gets crushes on them more than she’d ever admit.

Hobbies: Art! Painting, mostly, but dabbles in sculpture from time to time. It’s been too long since I took an art class for me to suggest a style for her paintings, but I imagine her sculptures would be somewhat abstract. Her art would revolve around emotion, the stronger and rawer the better, with viewers often being left uncomfortable. While Alcina buys plenty of art supplies for her, Cassandra is fond of improvising, especially by creating her own “tools” (of questionable efficiency) out of items she has laying around. She is absolutely the one who took her mother’s lipstick. If you don’t know what that means, don’t worry, it’s just mentioned in one of the RE8 notes that Lady Dimitrescu’s valuable lipstick is missing.

Opinions on the four lords: Tolerates Heisenberg more than the rest of her family by a considerable amount. She’s seen glimpses of his work, his steampunk-adjacent style, and actually kind of digs it. While Bela cares more about the science behind his work, Cassandra just digs the aesthetic. Sometimes for her art she also needs things she can’t get from the castle, and are too obscure to get from a merchant, so she trades tools/ideas with Heisenberg in exchange for him making something for her. “Can you make a battery but whenever it’s in use it makes a horrible screaming sound?” “Yes. PS I hate your mother and Miranda.” “I didn’t fucking ask.”

Opinions continued: Doesn’t really care much about Donna, but acknowledges her as a fellow artist, and would be willing to consult her if she talked more (and talked without Angie). Cassandra hasn’t met Moreau, thankfully (he would cry). Knows about him from her sister/mother, and as a result doesn’t care about him. Internally whenever someone mentions him, she pictures, like, a Goldfish Cracker (the snack that smiles back) with legs except also it’s green and moldy.

Opinions cont.: Loves her mother so much. Determined to please her, to make her proud, but often left feeling less loved than her sisters. This strains her relationship with her family, not that she’d ever voice her feelings and talk through the issue. Let’s be real, Alcina would probably feel guilty for not realizing how Cass felt. Nonetheless, Cassandra probably spends the most time with her mother, often offering to assist her with tasks, or trying to get her to appreciate her art.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

By My Side (Part 6)

Summary: The reader and Jensen discuss their relationship moving forward while Jensen learns more about the reader’s family situation. He still has a bad feeling about something though and his gut may prove to be right...

Masterlist

Pairing: Bodyguard!Jensen x reader

Word Count: 5,700ish

Warnings: language, angst, mention of prior suicide attempt, minor violence

A/N: Enjoy!

_________

You woke up to Jensen bundled up in bed, covers tugged to his chin as he sleepily watched you stretching in bed. You giggled at him and his bed head, rolling closer and kissing him good morning.

“That is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” you said.

“Obviously you don’t look at the mirror much,” he said. You smiled and he reached his arm under the covers, putting a hand on your waist. You scooted over, Jensen blinking slowly. “We need to talk about this.”

“Talk about what?” you asked. He bopped your nose and you smiled, tucking down into the sheets. 

“Do you want a relationship?” he asked.

“Do you?”

“It would make my job...difficult.”

“Oh.”

“Not impossible. Just difficult.”

“Is it any more difficult than it was? I mean honestly. What’ll have changed? You still keep me safe and I still hide and run if you say so.”

“That part hasn’t changed. But there is something that has. A wildcard factor. Wildcard factors aren’t great in this job.”

“What’s a wildcard?”

“In a dangerous situation, if we were in a relationship, there’s the potential that you would do something to put yourself in harm’s way to protect me.”

“If that happened, regardless of us being in a relationship, if your ass is on the line, I can’t guarantee I do as told.”

“I don’t like that answer.”

“Jensen, if we do this, you need to trust me. I will do what you tell me when it comes to threats but I can’t say for sure that I won’t try to help you if I can.”

“So if it comes down to it, you’ll do whatever you want in the end.”

“Exactly.”

“If when I’m in bodyguard mode, you do what I say...I will learn to be okay with that very small possibility.”

“Good choice,” you said. You slid a hand around his back and traced up and down his spine, feeling a thin line raised on the skin. “What happened there?”

“Not advised to jump from of a speeding vehicle,” he said. You raised an eyebrow and he chuckled. “I was four wheeling once. Went off trail accidentally. Had to ditch my ride in a hurry. A bit of gravel-”

“Liar,” you said quietly. You smiled and he looked over your head.

“How’d you know?”

“I’m pretty good at knowing when people are acting,” you said. “You get it in combat?”

“Shrapnel got my vest.”

“You’re still lying.”

“It’s not pleasant. I’d rather not...scare you.”

“You don’t scare me,” you said.

“I was held captive once. Very, very briefly. I got a little beat up,” he said. 

“You?” you asked, Jensen nodding, sliding his hand up and playing with the end of your hair. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.”

“Thanks. I don’t like to talk about that stuff a lot,” he said. 

“If you ever change your mind, I’m a good listener,” you said.

“Thanks,” he said. “You like scrambled eggs?”

“Who doesn’t?” you asked. He smirked and kissed your cheek before he popped out of bed. 

“Well I’m about to blow your mind with the Ackles special,” he said. He walked around the bed and picked up his underwear, turning when he noticed you watching him. You looked him up and down, Jensen laughing to himself. “I saw you checking me out when I was swimming you know.”

You groaned and pulled the sheets over your head. He moved around for a moment and you felt the sheets come down, Jensen leaning over you.

“I had to tease a bit, make sure things were mutual,” he said. 

“Of course you did.” You stretched and yawned, closing your eyes.

“Doing anything fun with your family today?”

“Shopping with my mom will be fun. I’m not the biggest shopper but she likes it. We’ll get lunch, hit a few stores, get a massage after. I think Chuck and the guys are going looking at houses for the boys. Sounds like they might get a place together again.”

“Would you like your brothers to live closer?” he asked. You sat up and held the covers to your chest, Jensen handing you his shirt. You pulled it on over yourself, shrugging as you sat on your knees. “Why do you interact with them if you don’t like them?”

“How long have your parents been married?”

“All my life. Before that,” he said.

“No step siblings, half siblings?”

“My brother and sister share the same parents I do,” he said. “I don’t quite know what it’s like to live in a family like that I guess.”

“My mom went to a very dark place after my dad died. I didn’t know how to fix it. Chuck made her laugh for the first time in six months. He made her smile. He helped her and she helped him too. His wife died earlier on that year. He made her so happy, makes her so happy. I will put up with a few mean step-brothers to never see her go to that place again.”

“I would understand if they resented your mom but it’s you it seems they don’t like.”

“I was the youngest by quite a bit. Chuck would spend time with me. I think the boys were jealous and they probably could have done with more time with their father back then. They’d lost their mom that year too. But I needed him, mom needed him, he was mourning himself...he did the best job he could considering how fucked up we all were. They’re both successful. I just don’t think they liked having a little sister honestly.”

“Sucks for them. Little sisters are cool,” he said with a smile. “My big brother loves to mess with me but he doesn’t treat me the way those two do.”

“Well, even if they move here, I don’t have to hang out with them,” you said. You crawled into his lap and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. “I heard someone’s a little cocky about their scrambled eggs.”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know,” he said. He stood up with you before letting you get your feet under you. You pulled on your underwear and followed him downstairs, whistling as you took in his backside. “Y/N…”

“My bodyguard is hot and he should know it,” you said. He shook his head and headed into the kitchen humming to himself as he started to make up some breakfast for the two of you. The doorbell rang and you groaned. “I bet that’s my mom, early as always. I’ll get her out of here.”

“You don’t have to,” he said.

“I plan on doing things to you after breakfast and I do not want her around for that,” you said. He laughed as you padded down the hall and to the front door. You cracked it open a smidge and saw a man in a suit standing there, his back to you. He spun around with a smile and you nodded. “Oh, hi Jake.”

“Good morning!” he said. “I apologize for being late this morning, my car-”

“The meeting,” you said, slapping yourself in the face. “I totally blanked on it.”

“That’s alright. Is now a good time?” he asked. You looked down at yourself and peeked back around the door. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah! It’s perfect, all perfect,” you said.

“You’re not...are you sure-” he said before Jensen was suddenly stepping into view and pushing you behind the door. “Good morning, Mr. Ackles. You uh, appear to be missing most of your clothes.”

“It seems I am,” said Jensen. “Ms. Y/L/N is very well. She would like to reschedule for ten am if that’s possible.”

“Uh…” he said before you rolled your eyes and opened the door all the way. You stared at him and he looked between you both. “Oh. Gotcha. You two…”

“Mhm,” hummed Jensen, crossing his arms.

“Jake would you mind setting up in my office? It’s just down the hall. Jensen and I were about to eat breakfast. We’ll only be fifteen or so minutes,” you said. He stepped inside and you pointed the way, Jensen pouting as you headed back into the kitchen. “Oh, I’m still gonna do things to you. Just tonight, pouty boy.”

“Alright. You told me David was going to be your manager I thought,” he said, going back to the fridge to get the eggs.

“Well I went with Jake. Is that a problem?

“No. I need to be made aware of decisions like that though. I’m going to have to work with him quite a bit for events, your work schedule, that stuff,” he said. 

“I thought you’d be happy. You said you liked him.”

“I do. I am happy. I’m just not happy that you didn’t tell me.”

“He’s been my manager for like a day, calm down,” you said. He put his hands on the counter and you saw him drop his head, his back to you. “Jensen, no evil person is out there looking to snatch me away the second you turn your head. It was one day.”

“In the future, please make me aware of staff changes when they happen?” he asked. He looked back at you, his face softer than you were expecting.

“Okay,” you said. While he whisked some eggs in a bowl, you walked over beside him, watching over his arm. “Looks good.”

“I haven’t even done anything yet,” he chuckled. You rested your head against his arm, Jensen adding in some spices to the mixture. You scooted up on the counter as he went to the stove, watching him scramble them on low, pouring in a dash of cream.

“Can I ask why the Jake thing bothered you?” you said quietly. He scrambled the eggs for a minute before sliding them onto a few plates.

“Because I have a bad feeling that there is someone out there that wants to hurt you and I have nothing to go off of besides a gut feeling and trusting that you’ll be honest with me, always. You didn’t do anything. I overreacted.”

He got out a pair of forks from the drawer, handing you one along with a plate.

“Your gut feelings are normally right?” you asked, taking a bite of the eggs.

“Normally. They were at the restaurant,” he said. You nodded, putting a hand on your arm where a barely there bruise was. “I’m sorry if I hurt you that night.”

“I get hurt worse walking into a wall cause I’m dumb. You had me on the ground before I even knew what was going on and stopped that guy from doing who knows what to everyone. I’m not sorry about that.” He was quiet but gave you a nod. “Your eggs are great. Permission to brag granted.”

“Thanks,” he said, the doorbell ringing again. “I better get dressed. We’re gonna talk about getting a gate at the end of the driveway too by the way.”

“I second that,” you said as you heard the front door open. “Oh my God, my mother, just walks wherever she wants.”

He took off upstairs, ducking down the hall just as she walked into the kitchen.

“Hi mom,” you said. “You are...three hours early.”

“I know, you have work things. I wanted to make you some food you can have for leftovers the next few days. You have hardly any food in your house,” she said.

“Ma, I can barely cook and most of the time, I don’t have the actual time,” you said. She rolled her eyes and you hopped off the counter.

“Well I’m here so might as well,” she said. You glanced up to the balcony and saw Jensen pop into view wearing some jeans and a long sleeve henley. His holster was clipped on under his shirt and you smiled as he came down. “Oh, good morning, Jensen.”

“Mrs. Y/L/N,” he said.

“Any particular reason my daughter is wearing your shirt and no pants?”

“Uh,” he said, opening his mouth when she made a face.

“Two plates of eggs? You think I was born yesterday?”

“No mam. Your observational skills are impressive,” he said. 

“Mom, could you lay off. We like, just started dating,” you said.

“Can you cook?” she asked him.

“A bit,” he said.

“Bodyguard, he can cook and he’s handsome. He’s fine by me,” she said. You put your head in your hands, your mom whacking your shoulder. “You’re so overdramatic. Now get out of my kitchen. We’ll get lunch and shop later. I assume Jensen is coming with us?”

“I would love to spend the day with you ladies but I trust you two will be okay on your own. I’d like to go over some things with Y/N’s new manager if Y/N’s okay with that,” said Jensen.

“You will join us for dinner though, won’t you? We’re going out with Chuck and the boys. Our treat,” she said.

“Mom,” you said, getting a look from her. “Jensen always goes out with me at night, that’s our rule. I’ll pay for his meal.”

“But we’re taking you kids-”

“He is my employee. You don’t-”

“He’s your boyfriend who happens to work for you. I’m paying for his dinner, alright?” she said. You held up your hands and padded out of the kitchen, Jensen following you upstairs. 

“I’m sorry about her,” you said back in your bedroom as you started to pick up last night’s clothes. “She’s-”

“She misses her daughter. She’s happy I’m here. It helps her sleep better at night,” he said. “Told me herself.”

“I love her. I love her to death but I was a kid when my dad died. I know it was hard for her but for six months, until she met Chuck, she acted like I didn’t exist. She likes to forget that sometimes.”

“People grieve differently,” he said. “Still, it wasn’t on you to do that.”

He took the dirty clothes from your hand and cupped your cheek, kissing your temple quickly. 

“Don’t know how anyone could not notice you. Good thing I get paid to stare at you all day,” he smirked. You lightly smacked his chest, Jensen giggling. “As much as it pains me to say it, get that tush dressed. We’ve got a very long meeting with your manager this morning.”

That Afternoon

“What about this one?” asked your mom, holding up a dress.

“You know I hate award shows,” you said.

“I mean for tonight. Or a date with Jensen sometime,” she said. You did your best to keep your face neutral but she caught the slight down turn of your lips. She slammed the dress back on the rack and put her hands on her hips. “What? All morning you have been short with me.”

“Mom I just started dating him like half an hour before you got to the house. You are going way too fast. I have dresses and I honestly wasn’t even going to say anything until it got more serious.”

“You pay him to protect your life. How much serious does it need to get?” she asked. You rolled your eyes and she made a face. “You barely pick up the phone and talk to me anymore.”

“Cause you changed after dad and not in a good way. For a little while, I lost both my parents. Even after Chuck, you two were so involved with each other you didn’t spend as much time as me as you did before dad died. When I was a teenager, when I really needed my mom, you weren’t there all the time. I’m sorry I grew up to be independent. But-”

“Do you think I don’t realize that? I know I made mistakes,” she said. She sighed and took a seat on a bench outside a waiting room. “I just want you to be happy and Jensen...I haven’t seen a smile on your face like that since before Brian died. He makes you happy, even when you two looked so annoyed with one another earlier in the week, he would stare and you would stare. I feel good about this one. I just want you to enjoy falling in love, if you do end up going that route with him.”

You sat down next to her and shrugged, crossing your arms. You leaned back against the wall and rubbed your sneaker against the floor.

“How do you know that’s your guy,” you asked quietly. “I mean, you’ve done it twice. How do you know?”

“It was different with Chuck. I was slower to admit to myself that I was in love with him. Your father was very quickly. I didn’t share that information with him until much later but I knew, a part of me, the part you don’t justify with logic or facts or details, that part always knew. It knew with them both. Nowhere does it say you only have to have one soulmate. I know you don’t want to hear that but I love them both equally, Y/N.”

“Mom, I love Chuck. It’s not the same as dad but I do. He makes you happy and he tries to be a dad to me but he gives me the space I need too. I’m happy you have him. I’m happy we both do.”

“Why do ask how you know the man you’re with is the one?” she asked. “Or are you asking because that part you can’t explain already told you something you’re not even willing to think yet.”

“I was curious was all,” you said as you stood.

“You’re a horrible actor,” she said. You pushed on her shoulder and she laughed. “Fine, fine. No more boy talk. Let’s try another store. I’m at the very least not letting you walk out of this mall without a new pair of heels.”

Later That Night

“Y/N?” asked Jensen outside your bedroom as he knocked on the door. You checked the back of your fancy bun one last time in the mirror before you walked out and into the room.

“One sec,” you said, bending down and putting on the five inch heels, zipping them up in the back. After a moment of looking yourself over in the mirror in a sleek, mostly backless black dress, you opened up the door. Jensen was in a tailored black suit with a deep navy tie. “You look-”

“Wow,” he said, looking you up and down. “You look so fancy.”

“Fancy?” you laughed. “Is this because you hardly ever catch me out of my sweats?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love the sweats and the leggings. I love all of it,” he said. 

“You look very handsome,” you said, skirting past him and hearing a quiet whistle. “Knew you’d appreciate that.”

“Damn right I do,” he said as he caught up. “Ready to head out?”

“After you.”

“That’s great you guys found a house,” you said an hour later at the restaurant, mouth full of some cheese fries. Nick rolled his eyes at you and you licked your lips. “Wha? I’m hungry.”

“Actually it’s for mom and me,” said Chuck. You raised an eyebrow and he smiled. “I’m a writer so I can work from anywhere and your mom got offered a great position at a clinic here.”

“That’s great guys. I’d love to get to see you more,” you said. You looked at Michael and he had a curious smile on his face. “Did you get a house too?”

“Penthouse apartment hopefully. We’re looking at some tomorrow. Gonna be on my own for the first time. Nick and I talked and he’s not sure if he really wants to move out here yet. We decided we’d see what it’s like living apart for the first time,” he said. 

“Worst case I can always get a professor job at one of the colleges if I change my mind while I try to get into a school district,” said Nick while he played with the remnants of some crust on his plate. 

“You’ll come eventually,” said Chuck. “Get everyone living in the same timezone again. It’ll be good.”

“So are you two like a thing now?” asked Michael to you, looking as innocent as could be while he hid his shit eating grin.

“Yes,” you deadpanned. Jensen looked up from his salad but you went back to eating. For the most part the evening was what you were expecting. Your step-brothers acting oh so pleasant in front of your parents and Jensen getting a few questions about his job. You did smile though when Jensen was able to upstage Michael about some law usage. You were pretty sure even Michael was impressed with him at that point.

“That went well,” said Jensen an hour later after you’d parted ways with your family and were walking back to your car. “Michael’s growing on me. He seemed better tonight. Nick not so much.”

“I’m actually really proud of him for getting his own place. I get that they’re twins but they’re in their thirties. Neither one of them has had a girlfriend in years.”

“Michael’s like a workaholic though,” said Jensen, holding your hand when you walked past a guy in a jacket with his hood up.

“True. Maybe he’ll cut back some out here.”

“How do you think Nick will handle that?” he asked. You stopped walking and pulled out your phone. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t particularly like Nick most of the time, don’t get me wrong. But he might do something stupid,” you said as you dialed your brother. It rang a few times before he answered.

“Yeah?” he said.

“Hey Nick. You want to come over tomorrow while Michael apartment hunts?”

“Uh, sure,” he said and you knew he must have been around your parents still.

“Great. Come over around noon. We’ll have lunch and a swim or something.”

“Okay. See ya.”

You shook your head before you were walking again, Jensen bumping your shoulder.

“Something I need to know about?” he asked.

“The file you did on Nick, what’d you find.”

“Arrest record for when he was young. A few drunk and disorderlies, nothing Michael couldn’t ever get cleared up for him. Hospital stay for a few days in his twenties when he fell down some wet stairs. I’m going to go ahead and guess out of all of that he didn’t fall, did he.”

“No,” you said as you stopped outside your car.

“What happened?”

“I came home from school early and Nick had tried to kill himself,” you said. Jensen blinked a few times and you let out a dry laugh. “It’s hard to surprise you but I think that took the cake.”

“You need to tell me everything.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s a threat to you. You can’t see it but I can. He doesn’t like you and if he’s tried that before, it means-”

“Can we talk about this at home?” you said when you saw someone down the street recognize you. He nodded and they wandered up, asking for a few pictures. You posed and put on a smile, Jensen watching careful with a hard look in his eye.

“Woah, woah,” said Jensen half an hour later as you sat in the family room at one end of the couch in some sweats and an oversized tee, Jensen sporting a similar look but wearing the hoodie you’d given him. He had a notebook by his side but he’d put it on the coffee table in favor of throwing his hands up. “He tried to do it in your bedroom? He left a note on your bed?”

“My closet,” you said. “My closet had attic access so he’d tied a rope up on a beam. He had just kicked the chair away when I walked in. I was skipping last period. Senior year and all.”

“What’d you do?”

“It was very obvious that Nick knew he’d made a mistake. I grabbed him and held him up as best I could until he could untie himself. He fell down pretty hard cause I couldn’t hold him anymore and landed on all the junk lying on my closet floor. He told me we were gonna lie and say he fell down some stairs to account for all the bruises.”

“Why’d you help him lie?”

“Cause I thought he tried to kill himself because of me. I thought he hated me that much. He was in my bedroom after all,” you said.

“You read the note?”

“Jensen-”

“I need to know, Y/N.”

“Why?”

“Because my job is to protect you from threats. If your step-brother doesn’t like you and now his whole family is moving away from him to be closer to you, depending on a lot of things, this could get messy.”

“Jensen-”

“Did you read it?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“And?” For a moment you looked past him and outside, Jensen’s foot nudging yours. “I’m sorry but I gotta know.”

“He felt like a failure. He was in the car with his mom when she died. He saw how well Michael did and I did and he felt distant from his dad and he felt like his life was crumbling around him and honestly, he wanted to go be with his mom again. He felt like he didn’t belong. I fucking bawled reading it.”

“You guys ever talk about it or was it over like that?”

“I slapped him in the face and told him he was pathetic. His mom, my dad, they didn’t get a choice to live or die. I was so angry at him. He apologized and he promised me that if he ever felt like that again, he’d tell me. A few years later, he came to me and thought he might do something stupid.”

“His teaching sabbatical he went on.”

“He got some professional help. I paid for it all. He stayed out here, nearby. I visited him everyday on the way into work. He got better. He learned a lot about himself, how to cope, how to deal with things in his life. He still sees a therapist every week I pay for on the down low.”

“He’s no threat to you.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because he loves you and you love him, even if you don’t like one another or act like you care. If something bad were to happen, he would help you and you’re gonna do it right back.”

“How do-”

“Because your step-brothers who are assholes to you at times, they wanted to ensure that I would protect you when I first met them. I think it’s finally all clicking into place,” he said. “Hence why you never say a word about their behavior to your mom.”

“I will take prickly siblings over dead ones, even if I didn’t pick them,” you said.

“Are you worried Nick will take a bad turn with everyone else moving here?”

“I don’t know. I know he associates this place with bad memories, some of his darkest memories. I don’t blame him for not wanting to live here,” you said. Jensen nodded and ran his thumb over his lips. He propped his elbow on the back of the couch, resting his head in it.

“I’ve always thought you were kind. But helping your brother like that, in secret when I’m sure you want to tell your family, that’s not easy.”

“Yes, it is. There was never really a decision to be made though. The only one was to tell my parents and Michael and as long as Nick is honest with me, I will keep his secrets from them.”

“You’re more loyal than some of the people I served with,” he said, looking out the back windows. “It’s only an easy decision if you’re a good person. I wish I’d worked with more of those.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked. He smiled and ruffled his hair, frowning after a moment.

“Jared saved my life you know. After I healed up, I transferred to his unit.”

“He’s a good guy to call your friend,” you said. He hummed and you crawled over to him, wrapping your arms around him. “I’m glad we’re finally friends.”

“Me too,” he said. He pulled you into his lap and rested his head on your shoulder. Your fingers ran through his hair, eyes drawn down to how his back flexed and relaxed. “Sorry for playing twenty questions with Nick. I won’t say a word to anyone, including him.”

“S’okay. Just doing your job.”

“What time is it?”

“Almost nine. Why?”

“Do you want to go to bed?”

“Counter offer. We make out in my hot tub and then go to bed.”

“Counter counter offer. I make ice cream sundaes we eat in said hot tub and then make out and then go to bed.”

“I’ve always had a thing for intelligent men,” you said. You kissed his cheek and he chuckled. “You’ve never seen me in a bikini before, have you.”

“I’m in for a treat then, aren’t I?” he said. “Go on and change.”

“I’ll meet you out there,” you said. You departed from him and headed upstairs, poking around in your closet for the perfect one to put on. You spotted him come out of the hall in his orange and blue striped shorts, a whistle on his lips as he jogged downstairs. In your closet you took a seat on the small bench, holding up your black teeny tiny bikini and your aqua blue that honestly made your butt look great.

You opted for the black top and blue bottoms to get the best of both worlds. You were midway through pulling your shirt off when you heard Jensen come in the room.

“Oh come on-” you said, something whacking you in the back of the head. Instantly you fell down, strong arms catching you. You looked up wearily, someone in a black mask looking down at you. The eyes weren’t green and you kneed him, putting an elbow to the back of the guy’s neck and making him groan. You got to your feet as fast as possible and sprinted out of the room. “Jensen!”

You knew you weren’t going to make it to the stairs without the guy catching you so you grabbed the railing and vaulted over the balcony to the ground below. You rolled when you hit the ground, spotting Jensen by the base of the stairs. Your eyes spun upwards, Jensen following your gaze and seeing the man standing there. You turned and saw Jensen running towards you, a loud thud right beside you. The man was on the first floor now and you ducked down, missing his arms as you dove into the dining room. By the time you had your head up, you saw Jensen tackling the guy, a gun going flying out of the intruder’s hands.

You stood up, watching the two of them wrestle, the intruder getting a good hit on Jensen’s face. 

“Y/N, go!” you heard Jensen yelling at you, the pounding in your ears finally growing a little quieter. Jensen told you when you were going over his book of rules that was the adrenaline in your system, trying to get your body to only focus on survival. The gun was laying fairly close to you and you heard Jensen shout, eyes darting over to see he had a cut on the back of his shoulder. 

He had Jensen pinned face down and was working on restraining him. He was still shouting at you and the man looked up the second he had pulled the tie taut. You ran over and picked up the gun, the man revealing a knife.

“Put that down or I kill him,” he said. You swallowed, Jensen yelling a frenzy of things at you, all of which involved you running away as fast as possible. Instead you aimed the gun and fired, the man falling backwards as it hit his vest. 

You ran over and kicked the knife he dropped away, keeping the gun on him as Jensen rolled over to it and cut himself free. He gave you a dirty look but searched the guys pockets and found more restraints, slipping some on the intruder before taking the gun out of your hands.

“Call the police. Now,” said Jensen. 

________

A/N: Read Part 7 here!

[starbornvalkyrie]

paper rings [a nessian one-shot]

a/n: hey besties!! here’s some fluff for this fine saturday. i wrote this for my mate, my besta @vanserrasvalkyrie​ bc i love her to death and she deserves everything. i wrote this based on paper rings by taylor swift. enjoy!

acotar masterlist || masterlist of masterlists

When the sunlight hit his face, Cassian stretched with a groan and reached for his girlfriend. Girlfriend. Three years and he was still shocked that was the title he could call Nesta Archeron. When they met all those years ago, he could have sworn she hated him. He thought it might have been his high clouding his mind but no. 

Nesta gave him the cold shoulder every time they hung out, though he never failed to sense her eyes on him when they were out with his friends. There was something about Nesta that always drew him to her. Some sort of gravitational pull that made her irresistible--even as she pushed him away.

Cassian frowned when he found that the other side of the bed was cold, his girlfriend long gone for the day. Blinking slowly, he wondered if she told him what she was up to today. Not that she needs to, but she usually gives him a heads up. His thoughts were pulled away when his phone chimed.

A single text message from Nesta read, Morning, babe. I’m out running errands with Feyre today. I’ll see you later. Xx

Cassian couldn’t help the grin that formed on his lips at her use of the word babe, and he used that energy to get out of bed and prepare for the day. The day that he hopes will bring him one step closer to calling Nesta his wife.

He dialed Rhys, putting the phone to his ear as he fastened his watch around his wrist. He smiled fondly at it, remembering the day Nesta gave it to him saying, “Your old watch is too loud. Use this.”

Rhys answered on the last ring with a labored, “Hello?” followed by a female yelp and giggle. His brother shushed her, but Cassian’s brows furrowed.

“Is that Feyre?”

Rhys cleared his throat, “Yeah, of course, why?”

“I just thought…” He trailed off. “Nevermind, brother. Is everything still set for tonight?”

He could practically hear Rhys rolling his eyes when he replied, “Yes, brother, we’ve been over it a thousand times. It’s going to be great.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll leave you two to… whatever I interrupted.” Cassian almost gagged hearing Rhys’ stifled groan of a goodbye as he hung up, patting his jacket pocket to feel for the ring one more time. He was about to grab his keys when he noticed a note on their side table, the elegant script telling him who left it. Smiling, he picked it up and read.

Cassian,

Do you remember the night we first met? I remember it vividly, probably because I wasn’t as stoned as you. But what I haven’t told you is that I went home and stalked you on the internet. Full on FBI mode. If you tell anyone, I will not hesitate to kill you. Sometimes I think about how I tried so hard to learn every detail I could about you without actually talking to you, but now I feel like I know more than I should.

We’ve shared a lot these past three years, and I have to say that one of my favorite hobbies to share with you is reading. The days we spend wasting away in bed reading side by side are the days I hope we will continue to share for the foreseeable future. While they aren’t my favorite, I do enjoy the war novels and thrillers you keep beside your bed. I think I’ve read all of them by now.

I skimmed Catch 22 this morning and was particularly intrigued by page 143.

It wasn’t signed, but Nesta’s perfume lingered on the page, igniting Cassian’s senses. The memories she wrote of came to the forefront of his mind. She was shy at first, not wanting him to know the sort of books she enjoyed reading with her friends. But one night he snuck one off her nightstand. Needless to say, they’ve had their fair share of experimentation based on a few of her novels. And when she read his books and talked excitedly with him, he thought he’d propose on the spot.

Cassian rushed to his bedside table and, sure enough, Catch 22 is on top. He flipped to the page she mentioned. Another note fell out along with a blue paint swatch. The color looked familiar, but he couldn’t figure out where he knew it from. Shrugging, he read the note.

Cassian,

Do you remember when Azriel made us all help him paint his room? My favorite memory of that day was the fact that there was more paint on us and our friends than there was on the walls. You, of course, had the brilliant idea of jumping into the pool of Az’s apartment complex. At 8PM. On a January evening. No one wanted to join you, for obvious reasons. I still think you’re an idiot for suggesting it. I still think you’re an idiot for actually doing it.

But then again, I followed. You may have jumped first, but I went in, too. I will always follow you, Cass, to the ends of the earth.

Will you follow me, too?

Yes. One hundred percent, yes. Cassian would follow Nesta to the ends of the earth and back. He’d slay dragons for her or just sit back while she conquered them herself. He couldn’t think of a time when his world didn’t revolve around Nesta. While they played games of cat and mouse when they first met, it was always Nesta. For him, he would always follow Nesta.

Will you follow me, too? He absolutely would. There were no other directions on the note, but Cassian knew exactly where he needed to go. Carefully folding the notes, he placed them in his pocket next to the ring. Giving the pocket another pat, he grabbed the keys to his truck and made his way through town. Azriel moved out long ago to live with his girlfriend, but Cassian still knew how to get to his old apartment complex.

That night was one of the best nights of Cassian’s life, but not for the reasons Nesta might be thinking. It was fun, definitely, swimming in that freezing pool, alcohol the only reason they didn’t feel the icy bite of the water. But that was the first night Nesta laughed and smiled with only him. Sure, before then, he had seen her radiant smile and heard her mesmerizing laugh with their friends. But with no one else around them in the pool, Cassian had relished in the fact that he was the reason for her happiness. It was the first time he had dared to hope for something more.

The apartment complex wasn’t gated, so Cassian drove right in, straight to the clubhouse pool. He hopped out of his truck, leaving it running idle, as he searched the area. He searched the chaise lounge chairs and tables but only saw a towel and duffel bag that someone left behind. He walked the perimeter of the pool itself. Still nothing. Did he get it wrong? Was he supposed to go somewhere else? Confused and frustrated, Cassian was about to give up when something at the bottom of the pool caught his eye: a ziploc bag anchored by a can of paint.

“You have got to be kidding me, Nes,” he mumbled to himself. Cassian went back to inspect the duffel bag, cursing his cruel girlfriend the whole way. When he unzipped the bag, a note was on top. Have fun getting wet, was all it said. Underneath was a pair of Cassian’s swim trunks and an extra pair of clothes. Accepting his fate, he changed in the restroom, and dove into the pool.

Pulling the paint can--the same color they painted Az’s room--to the surface was harder than he thought it would be, but eventually he was sitting on the edge of the pool, feet dangling in the water that was a lot warmer than it was that night. Shaking the moisture from the bag and his hands, he took out the note, slightly shorter than the rest. Nesta knows he’d be impatient and nearly irritable by now, and he loved her even more for thinking about that detail.

Nice day for a swim, right? I wish I could have been there to see it, but don’t worry, I’ll have you wet and shirtless in no time later. But in all seriousness, I had a lot of fun that night. Getting to know you better in the pool is one of the highlights of our relationship and it’s something I will never forget.

But let’s go back to the beginning. Meet me in the place it all began. I’ll always be waiting for you.

Cassian grinned and pushed himself up to dry off and change. He grabbed the clothes Nesta packed for him, pleased to know she knew his style, and meticulously transferred the small box from his jacket pocket to the front of his jeans.

Knowing exactly where to go, Cassian made his way to meet his future wife.

---

Nesta waited nervously on the dock of a lake just outside of Velaris. She clutched the final envelope in her hands, reminding herself every few minutes not to ruin it. She sat on a blanket, a basket filled with Cassian’s favorite foods. She tried to push doubt from snaking its way into her brain, but she couldn’t help it.

She had been dropping hints to Cassian for months now but to no avail. After Rhys proposed to Feyre six months ago, Nesta felt that tug in her heart that told her she was ready. She practically told Cassian as much. She made it a point to talk about Feyre’s wedding prep every day, asking what he would want if he was in their position. She even went as far as showing him rings.

But Cassian hasn’t made a single move. Nesta knows he loves her, but does he not see her as wife material? Does he only love her for now? Nesta didn’t think so, and she didn’t let herself believe that, but the seed of doubt is still there, waiting to grow. To counteract the doubt, she decided to take things into her own hands.

Hence the basket and the notes. 

Her phone chimed with a text from Az telling her that Cassian just jumped into the pool. He got it on video. She laughed and asked him to let her know when Cassian left the apartment complex. While all of their friends were in on the event, Azriel was the only one she trusted to trail Cassian without being caught. Everyone else was tasked to decorate their apartment for a party after Cassian left on her scavenger hunt.

Nesta stood as she heard the sound of tires on gravel and braced herself as she watched Cassian step out of his truck and make his way towards her. Much to her amusement, she realized his hair was still a little damp from his impromptu swim, but he was also wearing the jeans and button down shirt she had packed for him as well. Nesta still counted herself lucky, praying to the Cauldron every day that this was the man that crashed into her life all those years ago.

Cassian stopped in front of her, surveying her from head to toe. His gaze sent shivers down her spine, but she stayed still as he scanned her set up on the dock, a smile gracing his lips as he most likely remembered what they’ve done out here. Multiple times.

Finally, he turned back to her and greeted her, “Hi, Nes.”

“Hey,” she said, voice low.

“What is all this?” He started to move towards her, but she held up her hand, nerves getting the best of her.

“I-- uh, we’ll get to that. But first,” she held up the note she held in her hand. “Last one.”

This time, he did step closer to her, but didn’t touch her yet. Ever observant, he knew she needed her space right now while her nerves went haywire. He stopped just in front of her, though, and asked, “Will you read it to me?”

Nesta’s eyes went wide, scanning the hazel ones she’d come to love so much. She saw only love and a hint of amusement staring back at her, so she whispered, “Okay,” and opened the envelope. With a few deep breaths, she began to read.

“Cassian. My best friend, my love. The biggest brute on the planet.

I don’t know how else to put this, but when I think about who I was when we first met, I can’t help but feel that I fell in love with you by accident. Don’t get me wrong, I am so glad that I did. But you know me, I hate accidents. I hate when things don’t go the way I want them to. And that’s you in a nutshell. I never know what’s going to happen, but I’m here for it, along for the ride for the rest of my life.

You know my past better than anyone else, even my sisters. All of the things that happened with Tomas… if none of that had happened, I wouldn’t have found you. I can even say I’m thankful for your past girlfriends, knowing that you wouldn’t be the man I know without them. We may fight, we may not be perfect, but that doesn’t stop me from loving you and hoping you love me in return.

Because I want it all, Cassian. I want you and all the complications you may come with. I want to kiss you randomly just because I can. I want to brighten your dreary Mondays, for you to wrap your arms around me while I cook, and everything in between.

You’re the one I want, Cass, in any way you’ll have me. Picture frames, dirty dreams, you name it.”

Nesta paused, steadying herself for the next part. She wiped the tears that started to fall from her eyes as she read. When she looked at Cassian, she could see the silver lining his own eyes as he gave her a watery smile. The smile she can’t imagine living without ever again. Steeling herself, she asked, “Are you going to make me do the knee thing?”

The corner of Cassian’s mouth turned up higher at that, decorating his face with that smirk that’s gotten him into so much trouble in the past. “You know how I like to see you on your knees in front of me, Nes,” he teased, making Nesta’s heart stutter.

“Brute,” she mumbled. “Fine.” Nesta adjusted her dress as she got down on one knee, holding the note in her palms. “I know this isn’t a shiny ring or anything fancy, but I don’t need any of that. I only need you, Cass. You’re the one I want until we’re taken to the next life and every moment after that as well. Will you marry me?”

Cassian hesitated for only a split second before he was on his knees in front of her, her face in his hands. “You stole my thunder,” he accused, his voice playful. When Nesta only stared at him with a cocked brow, he chuckled. She watched as he reached into his jean pocket and pulled out a small velvet, black box. Nesta couldn’t contain her gasp as he opened it to reveal a perfectly cut ruby set on a simple silver band. “You’re the only one for me, Nes. You’ve always been the only one for me.”

Nesta stared at the ring. “Cass…” she whispered.

“Are you sure you don’t want the shiny things? I can return this…”

“Don’t you dare,” she snapped. “Ring me.” Nesta stuck her left hand in Cassian’s face. He laughed but removed the ring from the box to slip it onto her ring finger.

They both watched in silence, the air buzzing with anticipation, as Cassian pushed the ring past her first knuckle then the second. Until it metaphorically clicked into place at the bottom of her finger.

A perfect fit.

Nesta launched herself at Cassian, tackling him to the deck with a searing kiss. Her heart thundered wildly, their tongues tangling as the words engaged, fiance, and future husband played on repeat in her mind like her favorite song. She pulled back to look down at her best friend, her everything, his eyes shining right back at her.

“I love you, Nes,” he said, voice low but thick with emotion.

“Until the end of time,” she replied with another kiss.

---

Thanks for reading! If you’d like to be added to/taken off my general SJM tag list just send me an ask and be sure to include the fandom! i’m very good at losing them in the comments. love y’all!

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[amayawolfe]

It's Good to be Home (Hisoka x Fem.Reader)

(Warning: some harsh language, mild fluff, mild angst, and just a touch of NSFW mostly towards the end)

Word Count: 5616 (wwaaayyyy longer than I intended for a first short story...)

(Summary: You're a Hunter who's been Hisoka Amorou's beloved and trusted life partner for the better part of six years. After being together just past two years, the two of you found yourselves expecting a child. Maybe it was a slip up, or maybe one/both of you planned it; either way, nine months later you two have a baby girl.

This short story is a "slice of life" type of story. You finally had enough of being the "stay at home mom" and get away to go on a mission leaving Hisoka at home to watch your daughter. What you find when you return is not what you expected...)

~               ~               ~

   You pulled up next to your life partner's car in your own driveway. A small, tired smile touched your lips. You loosed a sigh and rubbed your face and eyes with your gloved hands. It had been a long drive home from the airport, but it was the last leg of your return trip. Moving your hands to your neck you rub it a bit and tilt your head from side to side. Feeling, as well as hearing it, crack and pop as you did so.

   Your phone suddenly vibrated and pinged at you from the passenger seat where you had tossed it at the beginning of the drive. Reaching over you picked it up and turned the screen towards you; it's a text from your long time friend/associate and business partner for the mission you had just finished, Illumi Zoldyck.

Illu: Did you make it home?

   You partially removed your gloves so that only your thumbs were exposed and texted a reply.

You: Yeah, I literally just pulled into the driveway. Haven't even gotten out of the car yet.

Illu: Okay, good.

Illu: Next mission I should contact Hisoka, correct?

You: Unless my skills are more suited for the mission, other than that, I would say "yes".

Illu: Very well, good night, (y/n).

You: Take care, Illu, and thanks again.

   Up until just now, you had not gone on a single mission since your pregnancy and the following birth of your daughter just over three years ago. It was your life partner, Hisoka, that took off for weeks at a time either for missions on his own or with Illumi.

   This hadn't bother you one bit when it was just the two of you. While he was away, you would take a mission as well or travel until about the time he would usually return. Not to mention you really did treasure your alone time playing video games, watching movies or shows, working on your hobbies, or simply relaxing in the silence of an empty apartment.

   Then there was the fact that after a while you would need a recharge from Hisoka himself. You truly loved and adored your life partner and wouldn't trade him for anyone or anything in the world, and you were relatively sure it was the same for him with you. However, Hisoka was, well, Hisoka; he had a tendency to become mentally, not to mention physically, exhausting from time to time.

   Ironically, it was the love and need of your own independence and alone time that made you and a person like Hisoka work so well. That and a truck load of patience.

   He had stayed home during most of your pregnancy, only leaving when you were on the verge of literally killing him. But he would be sure to stay close to home, traveling no more than a few hours away in case something came up and you needed him. Hisoka was actually there for the birth of his daughter and stayed home for the first few months. But once you and (d/n) were settled into a good routine on your own, he started taking missions once more.

   Hisoka was a surprisingly good father when he was home and constantly spoiled her with gifts he collected while he was out. He made sure to give (d/n) lots of love and attention, watching and playing with her whenever you needed a nap, shower, some alone time or went out for training. And, of course, he would make sure to give you attention and affection as well. Attention and affection you more than enjoyed returning just as much as receiving.

   Well, most of the time.

   For the last few months you had started to become extremely restless and moody. You were a Hunter, damnit. Not to mention a powerful and skilled nen user. You missed going out on missions. You were also concerned with how little training you were able to get now a days. Both you and Hisoka had your fair share of enemies, and you wanted to keep your skills and senses keen for as long as your possibly could.

   You had tried more than once in having a serious, yet calm, sit down with Hisoka over the matter while your daughter was down for her nap. But, as usual, when your life partner didn't like what was being talked about he would poke and tease you or change the subject entirely. This usually lead into a heated argument that was comically kept to shouted whispers so as to not wake (d/n). The argument would usually end with the both of you laying in bed hot, sweaty, and spent. This always seemed to be your daughters cue to wake up, ending any further discussion of the matter for the time being.

   So, having gotten no where on the subject, you had decided to take matters into your own hands. You contacted Illumi, asking him to not contact Hisoka for the next mission and that you would like to go instead. Illumi seemed more than willing to work with you. You guessed that he needed a little change up as well when it came to his business partner.

   Your travel bag was packed and hidden in the bedroom closet before Hisoka had even returned home. All you needed was Illumi to tell you where to meet him and you could bolt out the door. Of course, you felt a little guilty. And you knew Hisoka was going to be very annoyed, if not angry, but this was for your own mental well being.

   You had tried to imitate the same mood you had been showing the last few months. But Hisoka's keen intuition was telling him something was up, and he watched you with curious interest over the course of a few days.

   "You've been checking your phone more than usual, love~ ♣" he had finally commented from the kitchen where he was leaning against the counter drinking his morning coffee, "Is there something I should know about?~ ♠"

   You had shook your head and had set your phone back down on the table.

   "Not really, just expecting a text from a friend," you had answered honestly. Hisoka only hummed into his coffee cup in response, eyes still upon you as you where now horribly failing in defending your waffles from your ravenous toddler.

   When you had finally gotten the text from Illumi, your mind switched to "Hunter Mode". Quickly and quietly, you grabbed your travel back and set it by the door. You then entered the living room and scooped up your daughter, giving her kisses all over her little face as you headed in your life partner's direction.

   He had been sitting on the couch reading something on his phone when you caught him by surprise in leaning down and giving him a deep, loving kiss while passing (d/n) into his protective arms.

   "I'm heading out," you had told him, "I'll be back in a while." The look on Hisoka's face was surprised and curious. You usually told him ahead of time when you where planning on going out for errands or training.

   You gave him another quick kiss on the forehead and turned for the door.

   "(y/n), wait, where are you going? ♠" Hisoka tried to grab your wrist but you dodged him easily. (d/n) was now clinging to him and becoming fussy, thinking it was Hisoka who was about to leave. She would get that way sometimes. Something you had hoped she would do to take Hisoka's main focus away from you just long enough for you to slip away.

   You heard Hisoka call your name again as you grabbed your bag and practically ran out the door. Not wasting a single precious second, you were in your car on your way to the airport. You breathed a sigh of relief then giggled with excitement. That had gone smoother than you could possibly hope it would.

    But then your phone began to ring, playing the ringtone Hisoka had picked out himself. Your heart picked up it's pace a little as you answered it and put it on speaker.

   "Yes, love?"

   "(y/n), darling, what's going on... ♠" A chill ran down your spine. It wasn't a question, it was a demand. And even though it was worded nicely, the tone spoke volumes. Hisoka was not happy.

   "Easy love~," you stated calmly, "I'm just going on a mission with Illumi. I'll be back in a few days. A week at most. I promise."

   There was silence on the phone for a moment. You could almost feel Hisoka's blood lust starting to come through the phone.

   "What... ♠" Yeah, he was pissed. But you were never one to back down to Hisoka's rage. Your own anger flared up in response and you put your game face on. You had mentally prepared yourself for this.

   "Amorou," you said sternly, only ever using his last name when you were serious and/or angry, "Before (d/n) was born we agreed we would take parenting duties on equally. That we would still be equal partners in this relationship. It hasn't been that way for quite some time and I feel like I am trapped and stagnating. I need to take this mission or else I feel like I am going to go fucking crazy!"

   You could now hear the tv in the background signaling he had moved back into or near the living room. Hisoka remained was quiet. You knew he was listening, thinking. So you took a calming breath and continued.

   "I'm a Hunter, just like you. And just like you I have... needs. And as amazing a sex god you are, those needs can't always be satisfied in the bedroom, love." You heard Hisoka smirk. Picking up on his thoughts you spoke again before he could.

   "Or the shower, or the kitchen counter, or the back seat of the car, or the couch... Am I missing any where?"

   "~Yes. ♥ In fact, you're missing several places.~ ♥" Now you could hear the smirk in his voice causing you to smirk as well. Hisoka was still annoyed, at the very least, but you knew he was calming down.

   "I guess you'll have to refresh my memory when I get back."

   "Mmm, I think I can handle that.~ ♦"

   You chuckled. Oh, I know you can.

   "Since this is your first time watching (d/n) on your own for more than a few hours, I left you some notes underneath the cereal on top of the fridge to help you out. Call me if you need anything and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

   "Very well,~ ♠" Hisoka said with a pouty sigh, "You said you may be gone for a week at most, right?~ ♣"

   "Yes, and I promise to be sure and update you as I go along." It was only fair seeing as it was the only thing you really asked of him while he was out on missions. To simply let you know he was alive.

   "Alright, but don't think we're done talking about the way you went about this,~ ♠" he almost cooed, "We're going to have a long, serious discussion when you get back.~ ♦"

   Tingles went up your spine and you felt a slight knot form in your stomach, causing you to squeeze your thighs together a little. You knew exactly what he was saying, and it had little to do with actual talking.

   "Sounds fair to me," you smirked.

   "Take care, kitten. Be safe.~ ♥"

   "I will, love." And with that you hung up the phone.

   And it seemed that was that. It had gone easier than you thought it would over all; and oddly enough, that gave you a feeling of unease. Hisoka was not one to give up easily. But in truth, there wasn't much he could have done. There was no one he trusted enough to watch (d/n) on such short notice, and it's not like leaving her home alone was an option. Quickly packing her up into the car to chase after you wasn't exactly the wisest of ideas either.

   You held your word about keeping in touch. Letting him know when you reached the airport, landed at your destination, met up with Illumi, and so on and so forth. You had put your phone on silent during the mission, as was protocol, but checked it and checked in when the two of you had completed the mission and were safe.

   Hisoka would sometimes reply, but kept it short. Nothing abnormal for him. He also sent pictures like how you did for him while he was away. Some were cute, like the one where he made spaghetti for dinner and sent a picture of (d/n) happily enjoying her food with sauce all over her face. And some were more private, like the one he sent of himself standing in front of the full body mirror completely naked and at "full mast" with the message, "wut ur missin 2night 💕😜💞😘 💓"

   The last message you had sent him was after you had landed at the airport, telling him you would be driving home shortly. He had simply replied with "i'll be waiting 😍💕🥰💓😘 " The man really did love his emojis...

   You really didn't know what to think of this with it coming from Hisoka. As it sounded both sweet and foreboding...

   Sitting in your car that was rapidly cooling down from the cold wintery night air outside, you mentally prepared yourself for what ever your life partner may have awaiting you.

   The chill of the night immediately nipped at your nose as you got out of your car. You collected your travel bag from the back and turned to walk up the pathway to your front door, hitting the lock button on your car remote as you did so.

   Your house windows were dark, making you wonder if Hisoka hadn't managed to stay up in waiting for you after all. Upon reaching your front door you quickly looked about out of sheer habit, making sure that no one was waiting to rush in on you as you opened the door.

   Feeling that it was safe, you unlocked your door and walked across the threshold. Not even two steps in you nearly tripped and fell over something, barely catching yourself on your front door handle in time. Righting yourself, you took a step back and looked to see what you had tripped on.

   It was one of your daughter's large stuffed animals. A stuffed dog, to be precise. (d/n) would put it there saying that it was guarding the house, despite you telling her not to leave her toys on the floor like that.

   With a sigh you shoved the toy aside with your foot, making a mental note to pick it up later. You finished entering the house with closing and locking the door behind you. But when you turned and took no more than five steps into your dark home you trip over another toy and nearly fell again. It was your daughters toy car for her dollies this time.

   "What the hell?" you whispered to yourself. Reaching over you flipped on the light to the foyer and your heart clenched. From what you could see, the house was a complete mess.

   Toys and clothes were littered all over the floor. There were even some dirty dishes here and there. There were sloppy, childish drawings all over the walls. You took immediate notice of the drawings that were most definitely to high for your child to reach on her own. Your jaw and fists clenched in rage.

   "You've got to be fucking kidding me..." you spat through clenched teeth.

   Setting your bag down you started to slowly make your way through the house, taking care in where you stepped so as to not trip and break your neck. As you started to pass the kitchen you dared to look in. Your blood started to boil.

   It looked like every dish you owned was dirty, piled high in and around a filthy sink. There was food and sticky dried drink all over the counters, splattered over the floor, what looked like burnt marshmallow on the stove top and you didn't even want to know what was on the ceiling!

   It wouldn't surprise you if there was a blood vessel now protruding from your forehead at this point. You had to look away from your once beautiful kitchen to take a deep breath and focus on In so as to not leak to much blood lust and risk harming your daughter.

   "(y/n)? ♠" a familiar voice called out quietly from the living room down the hall.

   "Amorou," you snarled and turned in the direction you heard the voice come from. Your strides were swift and determined as you stepped around the mine field of toys in the hall.

   The glowing, shifting light that was spilling from the living room into the hall told you the tv was on. You turned and upon entering the living room you quickly noticed that it was in just as bad of condition. You turned again to face your so called life partner, fully prepared to chew him out for what he allowed to happen to the family home. Hell, you were actually mad enough to fight him and do some serious damage at this point.

   But the moment you looked down at him and saw the sight that was laying on the couch, nearly all your rage evaporated.

   Hisoka was laying on his back, head slightly turned upward as he looked over at you with tired eyes. His hair was an absolute mess. And not the sexy, messy way he would have it when he wore it down. No, it was an actual mess mess. There were a few stains on his shirt and his sweat pants like he had worn them for more than a day or two. You nearly laughed when you noticed his mismatched socks. It was then you suddenly remembered that in your haste and excitement over finally going out on a mission you had forgotten to do the laundry before you left. He had probably run low or out of clothes.

   His ultimate saving grace from the tongue lashing you had been so ready to give him was the form of your daughter sleeping tummy side down on top of Hisoka's chest. She had her favorite blanket draped over her and one of Hisoka's hands was resting lightly on the middle of her back to make sure she didn't roll off him onto the floor.

   As cute as the scene was, you couldn't help but think Hisoka looked a little... pathetic. A little defeated even.

   You stifled a laugh and tried to keep a stern face, but the corners of your mouth kept twitching as your lips betrayed you, wanting to smile. Sure that he had sensed your blood lust a moment ago, you were ever so slightly hoping that he thought you were still furious. You moved closer to the couch and squat down so that the two of you were eye level.

   "Amorou," you feigned a quiet, angry voice. A voice you usually had just before you lost it and tore someone to pieces. "What did you allow to happen to our home?"

   Hisoka tried to shift into a better position but cringed when it caused (d/n) to stir. It was obvious he did not want her to wake up. You glanced at her then looked back to him.

   "Did she just get to sleep?" Hisoka nodded.

   "She wanted to wait up for you with me. ♠" You raised an eyebrow at this and he continued, "I was going to straighten up a bit before you got home." You rolled your eyes, not really believing him on that one. "But (d/n) started to throw a tantrum and would not stop until I laid down with her... ♠"

   You felt your face soften a bit, Hisoka's voice sounded so tired. But despite his defeated condition, you couldn't help but poke fun. After all, he had done so many a time to you.

   "Hisoka Amorou," you jeered softly, "Hisoka the Magician, The Grim Reaper of Heaven's Arena, defeated by a three year old." You looked at your sleeping daughter again. "I'd say it was a flawless victory."

   Hisoka glared at you, lips pressed tightly together into scowl. A sly grin raced across your own lips when you saw the look on his face.

   "Keep looking at me like that and I'll just leave you here for the night and have the bed all to myself."

   He pressed his lips together even more tightly and looked away.

   "You can be so cruel... ♠" he mumbled. You chuckled softly, leaned forward, and kissed his cheek.

   "I've learned from the best, love."

   Turned your full attention to your daughter, you signaled for Hisoka to slowly move his hand as you laid your own in it's place. You started to hum a soft lullaby as you began to gently rub (d/n)'s back; doing this for a couple minutes until your daughter took a deep breath and let out a sigh of pure relaxed contentment. Her breathing slowed even more, signaling she had slipped into a deeper state of sleep.

   Now it was safe to move her. Slowly. Carefully. Gently. You slid your daughter's head to your shoulder and moved the rest of her body to your chest. Still humming the lullaby, you freed your life partner and started to move towards (d/n)'s room. Having to carefully step over toys and other random objects, the time getting her into her bed was taking longer than you would have liked.

   Making it to your daughter's room you nearly stopped humming upon seeing the state of it. It was in a much worse condition than what it normally was and her bed was covered in toys.

   This child has way to many toys...

   Thankfully Hisoka had been following you and noticed why you had stopped. Slipping past you with the stealth and grace of a cat, he quietly cleared (d/n)'s bed of all but her blankets, pillows, and favorite stuffed animals.

   Giving him an approving nod, you laid (d/n) down in the same manner you had picked her up and continued rubbing her back while humming for a few minutes. Once you were sure she was settled in you slowly stood up and, while still humming, made your way out of the room with Hisoka close behind you.

   The two of you tiptoed down the hall and into your shared bedroom.  Before you even had a chance to speak a single word your life partner turned you around, slipped his arms around your waist, pulled you tightly into himself, and buried his face into the crook of your neck. You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face into his neck in return.

   "Did somebody miss me?" you teased. He only hummed a response and continued to hold you close.

   After a couple minutes, Hisoka broke the hug and pulled back a little. You looked up into his eyes as he took you chin into his hand. Some of his energy seemed to have returned. It gleamed in those beautiful amber eyes you loved so much. He leaned in and kissed you softly on the lips.

   It started off sweet, with multiple little kisses on your lips. Then his hands moved down to your bottom and he gave a firm squeeze, pulling your hips tighter against him. He started to kiss you more deeply and you felt his tongue start to push against your lips, begging to be let into your mouth.

   "Mmnn!!" you noised suddenly and pushed away from him. Hisoka gave you a look of surprise at your sudden action. You pointed at him sternly.

   "Despite how calm you may think I am, Amorou, I am still mad at you and you are not getting any sex from me until you help me clean this house to my satisfaction tomorrow."

   You turned away from him towards the bed and froze in mid-step.

   "Are you fucking serious?!?!?!" you hissed.

   Sure, the bed wasn't made, but that wasn't what angered you. What angered you was the half eaten plate of spaghetti on the bed, what looked to be cookie crumbs all over the sheets, more of (d/n)'s toys, and a spilled juice cup.  

   You snapped your head in Hisoka's direction and glared daggers at him. You swore you could feel your eye twitching.

   "I'll help strip and make the bed.~ ♣" he stated with a smirk while he held up his hands defensively.

   "Damn right you will, " you growled through gritted teeth.

   His smirk widened. He went to the closet to get the fresh sheets and blankets as you removed the dishes and toys, setting them aside to be cleaned up tomorrow. As the two of you stripped the bed Hisoka decided to say his piece.

   "You know,~" he started, "the list you left me never did say anything about cleaning up.~ ♦"

   You stopped in middle of tossing one of the dirty blankets aside and blinked.

   Is.. Is he seriously messing with me right now?!

   Feeling your blood lust starting to rise to the surface once again, you slowly turned your head in his direction. But as you opened your mouth to say something he held up a single finger.

   "However, I must say I do commend you.~♣ I never really realized how much you did until I had to take care of (d/n) on my own for the week.~ ♠"

   You turned your body towards him fully and crossed your arms under your chest. "Go on."

   Your life partner smirked then shrugged. "You're an amazing mother to our little girl, (y/n); and this house would not be a home with out your touch. But most importantly of all, you love and put up with me.~ ♥"

   You smirked and narrowed your eyes at Hisoka. "Who told you I loved you? I'm sorry to say this, Amorou, but someone has been lying to you."

   Hisoka placed the back of one of his hands to his forehead and the other hand went over his heart in a dramatic like fashion. He emitted a small noise like he had been wounded

   "Ugh, Queen of my heart, how could you be so cold? ~ ♠"

   You snickered and whipped a pillow at him that he easily batted away back to your side.

   "I would have shown you some of my routines in how I do things had you listened to me in the first place," you stated as you finished brushing crumbs off the now bare mattress.

   "I suppose you have a point. ~ ♣" Hisoka spread the fitted sheet across the mattress as you started to but fresh pillow cases on the pillows. "Do you plan on taking more missions from now on? ~ ♣"

   "I told Illumi to contact you for the next one unless my skills are better suited for it." You picked up the flat sheet and spread it across the bed with Hisoka catching his side and shaking it out to lay it down evenly. "I would like to take every other mission or so. I never intended to pick it back up full time like you and I used to before we had (d/n). I just need to get out into the field and keep my senses and skills sharp. I'm not as out of shape as I thought I was, but I definitely could use some more training."

   Hisoka tossed the comforter over onto the bed and the two of your started spreading it out together. He was silent in thought for a moment, then sighed

   "That's fair. ~ ♣" he admitted. "Are you still willing to show me how you do things here? ~ ♦"

   "Of course," you smiled, "as long as you're willing to learn that is. Did that list I left you help at all?"

   "Ah, it probably would have had (d/n) not scribbled all over it after I left it on the table. ~ ♠"

   You dropped the last pillow into place and quickly covered your mouth to keep from laughing to loud.

   "If that was the case," you said behind your hand between laughter, "Why didn't you just text me asking for new notes? I could have done so while I was waiting for my airship to depart." He looked away from you to hide the sheepish expression that was now on his face.

   Ah, I see, he was to prideful to admit he had let something go wrong already and have to ask for help. Typical...

   Knowing not to push the matter you simply stripped out of all but your underwear and put on a clean sleeping shirt. As you slid into bed Hisoka stripped down to his boxers and turned off the lights, leaving a small night light on near the bedroom door. When he was climbing into bed you thought you heard a noise come from the hall.

   You looked in the direction of the bedroom door and started to sit up when Hisoka suddenly climbed on top of and pushed you back down into the freshly made bed.

   "Hiso-" your voice was interrupted when his lips came down onto yours roughly and his tongue took full advantage of your mouth that had been opened with words.

   For a few seconds, you gave into his physical demands and kissed him back with just as much vigor. Your tongues wrestled each other for dominance and your fingers went up into his tangled hair. Lifting your hips you pressed your pelvis against his and could feel his rapidly hardening member through the thin layers of cloth that separated the two of you. Your action caused a moan to slip from his throat.

   Another noise from the hall caught your sharp ear. It was closer to the door this time. You pushed Hisoka away from you just enough to break the kiss. He smirked down at you with lust dancing in his eyes.

   "I thought I told you no sex until after you help me clean the house tomorrow," you panted. Your own rising desires made you a little short of breath. Hisoka's smirk grew wider as he lightly grinded his pelvis against yours causing your breath to hitch.

   "Hmmmm.~ ♥ And what makes you think I won't be able to convince you otherwise?~ ♦" he purred. It was your turn to smirk.

   "Because, three..." Hisoka blinked in confusion.

   "Two..." Hisoka now raised an eyebrow, wondering why on earth you were counting down.

   "One." You pointed over to the bedroom door just as (d/n) stuck her little head into the room.

   "Daddy? Mommy home?" she called out sleepily. Hisoka let out a defeated groan and dropped down on top of you, knocking the wind out of you a bit and he buried his face into the pillow beside your head. You couldn't help but laugh at his reaction.

   "Yes, (d/n), I'm here," you gently called out to your daughter. She started to make her way over to you and her father. It was obvious she was intending to climb into bed with you just as she had so many a time before.

   You gently but firmly pushed your life partner off of you and to the side. As you did so you whispered to him, "Help me clean the house tomorrow and you can have your fill of me in what ever way you desire tomorrow night."

   Hisoka let out a frustrated growl in response causing you to laugh out loud again. You turned to your side so that he was now behind you. You held your arms open as (d/n) climbed into the bed and snuggled up against your chest. Wrapping your arms around her you hugged her closely to you and nuzzled your face into her hair. Her silky red locks were so much like her fathers. In fact, she was nearly a perfect replica of Hisoka, minus the eyes that is. She had your fierce yet beautiful eyes.

   "Did you miss me, munchkin?" you asked into (d/n)'s hair. She nodded a little.

   "Mmhmm, and daddy missed you." You felt Hisoka tense behind you and you chuckled.

   "Did he now?"

   "Yeah, he said he missed you lots." Busted, Hisoka sighed and rolled over so that his chest was against your back and his face was in your hair. He then reached his arm over you and (d/n), hugging you both closer to him.

   "I missed you and daddy, too," you said as you placed a kiss atop her head.

   "Mommy?"

   "Mmm?"

   "Happy your home."

   You hugged (d/n) again as you gently leaned into Hisoka's warm embrace.

   "It's good to be home, munchkin."

[gisellelx]

Since tomorrow is Father’s Day (and also Edward’a birthday I think?) can you share some sappy headcannon moments about Carlisle and Edward?

Ohhhhh anon. Thank you for this. My heart, here it all is spilled out on paper. I am making NO APOLOGIES for the length of this post. You knew what you were getting into, here. And have I got a treat for you about my headcanon and this particular date: First, you must understand that because of the ole' sideblog, I have a very detailed headcanon about where Carlisle is at any given time so that there aren't continuity errors. This is actually one of the fun things about fanfic vs. profic--in profic, at least in contemporary YA, my genre, you are trying to minimize references to actual events and time lest your work not be timeless. But I have a really detailed outline of when all my characters exist; I find I can't write any other way. This is why SM is so baffling to me--it's so clear she just has like, blank gray clouds for any time any given character isn't on screen. Nah. I have backstories for days on even my minor characters. I always know where all of them are. In fic, I get to fully indulge that because no one has to figure out if the fic will still sell five or ten years from now if it makes a dated reference to the new iPhone. So I can set the characters precisely in time, and imagine how exact dates and events affect their lives right then. Carlisle and Esme have been in Wisconsin; the children are all living as individual couples in southern France. You can thank Foi Pur for the headcanon that the Cullens own a home in Toulouse. They were stationed there while Carlisle was practicing in Bergamo early in the pandemic, and the children stayed there while Carlisle followed the outbreaks and Esme refused to leave his side (even though he begged her to). They came to the U.S. last summer; they haven't lived here since they left Forks 8 years ago. The borders have been closed; they haven't seen the rest of the family since then. On June 9, 2021, France opened the borders to vaccinated Americans. As case counts have receded, Carlisle has shifted to being a more standard hospitalist, with the usual 7 days on, 7 off schedule instead of taking off to say, Mumbai, because he bought Esme their old house and she's busy with it. He's working that schedule at two hospitals though, so basically is never off-duty. As soon as France announced their change, he went to both CMOs and said he was taking time off to see his family. He had to finish working that week, and then had to work his next "on" week at the other hospital, which meant that June 19 was the earliest he could possibly travel. In other words, the actual world, and the very real constraints of the kind of work I envision Carlisle to be doing, have converged on the fact that Carlisle and Esme touched down in their private jet at Castres airport early this morning Central European Time. On Father's Day. And Edward's 120th birthday. Everybody met them. There were lots of non-liquid tears. Edward hopped on Sotheby's the moment the news dropped on June 4 and rented an estate in Saint-Tropez that is costing them a quarter of a million dollars a week but it's private and they can all be outside. They got there this morning and are throwing Edward an extravagant party this evening, and Carlisle hasn't been more than six feet from Edward for the last twelve hours. Edward's patience with this is going to tire by midday tomorrow, but for now, he's enjoying Carlisle's attention. (It's 7:30 PM in Saint-Tropez as I write this; they're in the thick of gift-giving.) In other words, these boys could not possibly be happier this particular Father's Day.

So that's the big, fun, sappy, timely hc. Here's some others:

Edward is an only child. There, I said it. Carlisle and Esme talk about having six children and will never in a million years admit, even to themselves, that they actually only have one child. But they treat Edward like he is their only child, and Carlisle thinks of him as separate from the rest. He certainly loves him more.

Edward gets very pouty if anyone but him celebrates Father's Day. Most of the others are very "whatever" about it but Carlisle and Rosalie do have a very father/daughter relationship and so she also likes to honor him on Father's Day. Because Edward is Edward, he assumes she's doing this just to annoy him and it's one more hash mark on the "Rosalie is a bitch" bingo card.

They are best friends as well as father and son. Their relationship is always both/and. It often turns on a dime--they're having a raucous, bawdy time one moment and then something triggers Edward and they are in full-on father/son comfort mode the next. Everything in their relationship happened very offhandedly. The first time Carlisle told Edward he loved him, it was by accident: he thought it while they were playing in the woods a few months after Edward's turning. Edward came to a stop so fast Carlisle almost crashed into him. Carlisle then said the words aloud for the first time.

Edward didn't return those words for nearly a year. Again, it was almost an afterthought: he was thanking Carlisle for a new phonograph and the words "I love you" just slid out. Carlisle almost spontaneously combusted.

The first time Edward called Carlisle his father, they were still living as a man and his brother-in-law. He came home excitedly, having bought tickets to the new moving picture house in town. He was telling Carlisle the story, excited that he felt confident enough to sit in a closed room with a crowd of humans, and mentioned he had bought two tickets because as he'd told the ticket seller, he thought his father would like to come. He was surprised when Carlisle started crying. Edward and Carlisle almost never fight. When they do, it is vicious. Edward is the only family to have ever seriously injured Carlisle; Carlisle has a long gash across his left collarbone and down his left scapula from the most serious attack in 1927. Edward hates it when Carlisle thinks about them. Carlisle has never broken Edward's skin, but there've been a handful of times they've had very tense conversations while Carlisle had him in a half nelson.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, can wound Carlisle more than Edward having a teenaged fit and screaming, "You're not my father!" Edward knows this, but sometimes his brain short circuits and he does it anyway. This has happened only a handful of times and each time it's taken years to repair.

Carlisle was touch-starved for so long that he is very touchy-feely with Edward. Edward is perpetually seventeen and does not like to be cuddled, hugged, or kissed. They met in a place that is nowhere near the middle where Carlisle occasionally puts his arm around Edward. Like, once or twice a year.

This changed a little bit when Renesmee became a teenager and started rebuffing Edward's physical affection. He came to Carlisle and complained about how she never wanted to be hugged anymore and Carlisle laughed so hard he choked. Edward has gotten a little better about being hugged since then. Renesmee has been very good for their relationship in lots of ways, not the least of which has been that it has helped them both view Edward as more of an adult. Anyway. I could go on for days. These details are always lurking, and they're sprinkled throughout any fic I write. Love these boys so much. They are such a fantastic duo to write. Happy Birthday, E.

Happy Father's Day, C.

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] Season 2- Victor and MC- Chapter 4 & 5 (Eng Translation)- Part 3

⌚Warning:⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a chapter that is yet to release in the global server. Don't continue under the cut if you don't wish to be spoiled!(◍•ᴗ•◍)

✧✧ PART 1 || PART 2

-

✧ [CH 4-12] ✧

At BS office: With the help of her subordinates, MC is working on gathering information on Lu Kang, and the mysterious man in black. But the tracker she left on him lost its signal after some time, so the investigation has reached an dead-end for now.

It's also the day Victor will be released from the hospital. So, MC goes to pick him up.

He has changed out of his hospital gown, and returned to his suit and leather shoes.

I sigh inwardly, though Victor has always been very busy, but recently he seems to have become even busier.

MC: You've just been discharged from hospital, don't you want to go home and rest?

Victor: It's not like I was really hospitalized. Besides, I remember that you still have something to report to me.

MC: Now I understand that being a CEO is really not easy.

Victor: If you really want to be considerate of others, improve the quality of your work.

I tilt my face up, and pat my bag while looking at him.

MC: So where does CEO Victor want to test the quality of my work?

Victor: Go to LFG.

-

MC notes that Victor gets in his work mode™ as soon as he enters LFG LOL

MC reports Victor about her findings that Lu Kang once lost a lawsuit against LFG and seemed to hold LFG responsible for the bankruptcy.

Victor explains that the deal with Lu Kang's company didn't proceed because they were found secretly making false accounts and such doings will eventually lead to plummeting. LFG never did or neither do they need to persecute anyone for business competition, and it'll bring more trouble than benefits anyway.

I scrutinize the sharp air exuding from his eyebrows, and can't help but mutter under my breath.

MC: Victor, you've always been so decisive and swift in action. Haven't you made more or less some enemies?

[Note: MC uses the idiom "雷厉风行" which literally translates to- passing like thunder and moving like wind.]

Victor: When there are interests involved, even if you do nothing, there will be enemies. The rules of the game are inherently cruel, and to have people who want to put some tricks to use, is quite ordinary.

MC gives Victor another report which she compiled based on Lu Kang's memory.

MC points out- the lawsuit incident was a while ago and it shouldn't be the reason he attacked Victor. She assumes-- it has something to do with the "game" that was mentioned in his memory many times. Lu Kang and the young man who partnered in the game probably tried to escape halfway, and they were killed because of the "no escapee rule."

Victor takes MC's reasoning under consideration, and specifically points out that all the victims of the murders are Evolvers. MC expresses her assumption that it could be because the authority of the game has some hidden agenda.

We glance at each other, and once again each sink into reflecting on the matter.

After a while, Victor picks up the last page of the report, and flips through it.

Victor: The trail for that killer is broken?

MC: Yes, should be. We suspect that he threw away the tracker.

Victor looks at the contents of the report repeatedly, then presses it on the table, and taps his fingertips on the last spot tracked by the tracker.

Victor: This place, you've only checked the public webpage. So the trail is not completely broken yet. Let them use the internal channels to investigate again. Don't waste the first-level authority I gave you.

Victor raises his eyes and looks at me, then puts the report back in my hand.

MC: Do I need to investigate that game altogether?

Victor: No need. I will send someone specialized to investigate. Remember, everything you just said is only a conjecture.

Victor: Without my permission, do not voluntarily investigate in private.

MC: Yes, BOSS.

The worries that have been clogging up in my chest for days, finally dissipates in several degrees. Even if I sympathized with Lu Kang, this action to get back at someone is never the right thing to do.

MC: Fortunately, this car accident is not related to the Evolver assassination. Just as I said, who would be so courageous, that he dares to pick a fight with CEO Victor?

Victor: The "bodyguard" is finally relieved?

MC: Relieved!

Victor: Go back when you feel relieved. Start concentrating on your task next week.

I grab the report, preparing to leave, just then Victor calls me again. I look back, and see that he seems to have sent a message to someone.

He halts for a moment, then stands up with one hand propped on the tabletop, his deep gaze falling on my face.

Victor: Thank you for these few days.

I stare blankly at him for a while, and quickly perk up with an even bigger smile.

MC: No need to be polite, Mr. Victor. Just let me book a free pudding from Souvenir!

I turn around at Victor's momentary expression of helplessness, running out of the office like a wisp of smoke.

Ever since confirming his safety, I feel that every time we see each other, it all becomes much more relaxed.

Behind the current life, there are still bubbling up unsettling factors in motion.

But precisely because things being as such, is what makes me want to cherish the rare tranquility all the more.

-

✧ [4-13] ✧

Just a moment after walking out of the LFG building, I suddenly remember that I've forgotten one thing, and rush back to the lobby.

After talking to the administrative staff at the front desk, I dial Victor's number.

Victor: Hello?

MC: Victor, I forgot one thing just now. To congratulate you on your 'discharge', I've prepared a small gift for you. The staff will deliver it for me later.

Victor: ....I've said I wasn't really hospitalized. What are you up to again?

MC: Just treat it as a blessing. You must accept it! That's all.

Victor: Hold on.

MC: Is there anything else?

Victor: Help me think of a name.

MC: What kind of name? A kitten, a puppy or a relative's child?

Victor: ....Common name, male.

MC: Why are you asking this all of a sudden?

Victor: Because your imagination is comperatively rich.

What kind of answer is this...

I complain inwardly, but still give it a serious thought.

MC: Let me think. How about this one!

(Players get to choose a name from the three options)

Victor: What kind of strange name is that...

Victor's helpless sigh comes from the other end of the phone.

Victor: Never mind. I shouldn't have had any expectations. I'll accept your gift. That's all.

After hanging up the call, I'm still a little baffled by the request.

He abruptly asked me to help think of a name, and also a male's name. Could it be that he is going to use it himself?

Could it be that there is something that requires a disguised identity?

But does he even need to disguise.... aren't the six letters "Victor" the best pass in itself.

Anyway, the name I gave him off the top of my head, he definitely won't use it.

I shake my head, my train of thoughts returning to the gift I've left behind just a moment ago, and can't help but look forward to it.

I wonder when the Victor of now receives this gift, what will the expression on his face be like?

-

✧[POV back to Victor's office]✧

Closing the last document, Victor leans into his chair, gently pinching his brows.

Opening his eyes, the pink-colored gift box on the corner of the table enters his line of sight again. The lofty color seems to be urging him to open it as soon as possible.

Victor unwraps the box, and inside lies a round Shiba Inu doll, appearing a little old.

He wrinkles his eyebrows, takes it out, and sees a small folded note also being pressed onto the bottom of the box.

He patiently unfolds the note again, the carefully and neatly written calligraphy greets his eyes.

Victor: (reading the note) "Congratulations on your 'recovery,' and here's a small gift for you. This is the doll that has accompanied me for many years. I wish you well and hope you're happy." - MC

Victor: ....Childish.

Victor subconsciously says a word, and falls silent again.

Unknowingly why, but he always feels that he's somewhat familiar with this scene, but he also can't amalgamate the impression any further.

Even just the silly Shiba-Inu doll on the table, brings him a trace of intimacy.

[Note: This is the same Shiba-Inu doll MC's dad gifted her as a kid, and she gave it to Victor in S1 "Rooftop Date," when she wanted to comfort him realizing how much he misses his departed mom.]

It seems as if, ever since meeting her and getting acquainted with each other, this strange feeling often arises.

Is it because she has an Evol associated with memories?

But again, Victor is also very clear that her Evol doesn't have effect on himself.

Or is that, it's simply owing to her?

Victor blankly stares at the doll for a while, and by the time he circles back to his senses, it's already somewhat late.

He pulls open a locked drawer next to his desk, puts the doll inside, and catches a glimpse of the document marked with a sharp " S " symbol underneath.

"Illegal psychoactive drugs", " CORE", "has the potential to stimulate Evol"...

Several eye-catching keywords are marked in red, even in the twilight, which are still clearly identifiable.

The information the girl has reported to him once again surfaces in Victor's mind.

She has organized it very meticulously, but after reading it all thoroughly, the dense fog before his eyes hasn't dispersed.

Those layers of crisscrossing threads seems to have already involved all the parties, standing in different positions, making the situation chaotic.

And all these disputes still ultimately point to the same source--

BLACK SWAN CORE.

When it's all said and done, is this situation because everyone is eager to obtain it, or is there an unknown force hiding in the depository, pulling the strings?

There are still numerous issues that needs to be resolved, and one can not always watch the fire burning across the river.

Victor locks the drawer, and glances at the clock on the wall.

The phone rings at the right time, it's an encrypted email from BS.

Mail: "BOSS, as per your requirements, the relevant information has been sent to the other party."

Victor simply knocks down a reply, gets up and puts on his jacket, preparing to leave.

A pile of events is connected into a ring, and each angler, too, is bait for another.

He is looking forward to what kind of prey can be hooked this time.

-

✧ [CH 4-15] ✧

Victor meets Lucien at the research center, who hands him the report of a research.

Victor says the results are clear but Lucien says they only confirmed their guesses, and that CORE has been the focus of everyone after Evol was publicized, but there are perhaps other things affecting the world. Lucien asks if Victor feels that the world is not quite right and that every civilization circulates within a box, the time they have is likely more limited than expected.

Victor says it depends on how an individual views the matter, there's no need to pre-determine an outcome.

Lucien asks Victor if he believes he'll be able to get out of the box. Victor replies, "Not believe, it's a must."

After Victor gets in the car, he receives an email: "Dear Mr. [the name MC chose for him earlier], thank you for your support towards Hunter Games."

The rest of the email is basically explaining the rules of the game.‶

-

✧ [Victor scene in CH 5] ✧

Victor is returning from a business trip. After giving Goldman some instructions, he glances out of the window of the helicopter. Even though everything is peaceful, to him something always seems amiss.

He receives an email containing only one word, "Advanced." His expression doesn't change much since he already expected this outcome. The mail disappears, and he taps on another anonymous email with the instructions- He'll be entering the betting venue in 15 minutes and he should get prepared.

When the helicopter is about to land on the LFG rooftop, he glances out of the window once again and observes the people of the city living their day to day peaceful lives.

The noise-reduction headset cuts out the sound of the outside world, but the mere information sent back to him by his vision, is sufficient to prove the tranquility of the world before his eyes.

The helicopter lands. He settles some works with the staff.

Victor raises his hand to look at his watch, the gray clouds being reflected on the dial, slightly blurs the trajectory of the clock hands.

In a split second, along with lowering his arm, an inconspicuous red light suddenly streaks across the dial.

There's still ten minutes to enter the "betting venue".

The staff turns around, walking towards the elevator, cold wind blows on Victor's face, fluttering the hem of his coat.

Somewhere directly opposite, a small cross hair has always been aiming at the position of his heart.

??: "Code L" elimination plan in progress, target locked.

A second before the trigger is squeezed tightly, the person behind the lens suddenly lifts up, raises his head, looking straight into the set of deep eyes in the distance.

The clamors of the city conceals much of the noise, the discharge of bullet muffles in the silencer, so much so that in this shattering rain, it doesn't even make a crisp sound of snapping a branch.

A dispute between the light and the dark, seemingly has arrived to its conclusion.

[Trivia: The call that comes with the Chapter karma card-- is actually Victor nagging with MC on her report over phone inside the helicopter-- before it lands on the LFG rooftop!]

[gra-sonas]

A lot has changed since Roswell, New Mexico last aired.

There's been a global pandemic, a presidential election, a few billionaires spent like 10 minutes in space, and the United States government confirmed the existence of UFOs. Sure, they're calling them "unidentified aerial phenomena," but the gist remains the same: there are probably aliens out there.

"It just made me laugh so hard," Roswell star Jeanine Mason tells E! News of her reaction to the news. "My castmates and I were just laughing and being like, 'WB's PR budget is through the roof this year!' I'm just so impressed. Good work, team!"

In fact, the cast is hoping their devotion to aliens, in the form of their alien-centric TV show, might give them a leg up when the time comes.

"I mean, it's why we're all here. We love it," Mason says. "Anytime something pops up, we're all texting each other like, 'It's happening! It's happening! Maybe they'll come for us first!'"

Until the aliens come for us all, we've got a whole season of Roswell, New Mexico to watch, and a mystery to solve. At the end of season two, Max (Nathan Dean Parsons), Michael (Michael Vlamis) and Isobel (Lily Cowles) awakened a stowaway named Mr. Jones who looked an awful lot like a bearded version of Max.

Not only does that mean that Parsons is pulling double duty this season, but it also means that there's a mystery to solve. What is this guy's deal?

When the finale aired, then showrunner Carina Adly Mackenzie said that he might not necessarily be a villain, and that the story of Max's family history was going to be "complicated." Mackenzie has since left the show, and Mason says the story has changed.

"It's completely shifted in terms of what her intention was," she shares. "We just took it and made our own thing, which was fun."

Now, Mr. Jones is the key to all the answers the aliens—and Liz—have been searching for.

Season three picks up about a year after the end of season two, with everyone in Roswell getting used to their new alien friend and life without Liz. Liz is working at a lab in California, secretly trying to put her alien DNA knowledge to good use while finding a cure for her ailing friend Maria (Heather Hemmens).

While Max has been trying to move on (after Liz basically dumped him for burning down her lab), Liz has been getting to know her new coworker, Keith (Steven Krueger). While the fans may want her to get back to Roswell and Max ASAP, Mason says Liz is living it up in California.

"She hasn't really taken a second to realize that her life in LA is actually pretty great," Mason says. "She's got a smoking hot lab partner who's brilliant, and they really are a meeting of minds, the two of them. They're really fun off the top. I had a really great time cultivating a new kind of romance."

Where Max and Liz were not exactly on the same page, academics-wise, Liz and Keith "speak the same language." But of course, Liz isn't going to just shed years of history with Max that quickly, and she'll be back in Roswell before we know it.

"She willingly goes back because she's just got too much to sort out with this new Jones character, and she gets back in her heroic, 'Let's solve this, let's figure this out' mode," Mason says, though Liz doesn't even yet know about Max's doppelganger. "I think she's pulled to this because it is deeply her purpose, to be a protector of these aliens."

And no matter how much time they spend apart or how many other people they meet, Max and Liz are never just going to be rid of each other.

"We talk so much this season [about] this extended metaphor that [showrunner Chris Hollier] created for Liz and Max of them orbiting each other constantly, and that orbit pulling her back to him," Mason notes, though there are a lot of obstacles for this couple to figure out. "I think ultimately she left because she felt as if she's not being respected enough and included enough and being considered one of this alien trio enough."

But Mason says Liz realizes she's also to blame, for leaving and for not being a great partner, and Liz owns up to that this season, especially after a year away.

"At the end of season two, emotions were just so raw. With Liz and Max, it was like, I can't even look at you," she shares. "It felt good to imagine her having had sufficient time to process."

Liz has also had time to take on a whole new system of injustice with her new job, a massive corporation with a name like Generex. If you're having trouble imagining that a place like that on a show like this has only the world's best interests in mind, you're on the right track!

"That was a really fun thing for Chris and I to craft," Mason says. "He was really passionate about Liz and all of her abilities showing up fully for Generex, and the ways these talented scientists of color who are so deeply underrepresented hope that their work will be a part of servicing the community and the communities they come from and are just often used and abused."

Liz will be trying to contribute and change the world, but wrestling with the fact that the company she's working for isn't morally aligned with her own values.

"You would hope that you would never have to have your career, your progress stifled by companies that are also against you fundamentally, and it just felt like the right thing to honor this season," the actress explains. "She's a scientist, and this is something we can only imagine a lot of marginalized scientists of color and women all deal with."

Mason couldn't spill too many details about where the season is going, but she could say that it's all "bonkers," and the sci-fi of it all has been upped in the face of the pandemic.

"We were like, 'Let's just use their powers.' You don't have to use your powers within six feet!" Mason says. "So things are just flying and exploding and the stunts are insane."

Mason also dropped one early tease that she may or may not get in a little trouble for.

"Chris told me I'm not allowed to say this, but I'm gonna say it anyway: the last two scenes of this season are a game changer," she says. "I cannot wait for OG fans to see them."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Little Things in Life - 1

Warnings: non-consent sex (series); nothing for this chapter

This is dark!Steveand explicit. 18+ only.

Series Summary: Your suburban life begins to show cracks and your next door neighbour, Steve Rogers, seems intent on shattering what’s left.

Note: I’m still working on Syster and BJB and all my other WIPs. This was supposed to be a one shot but I got about 22 pages out and realised that we weren’t even close to an end. Anyways, hope you enjoy a subtle Steve. Slow burn. Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

You liked to do your gardening early. Even on the weekends. You let your husband Logan sleep in; your daughter, Kayla too. You basked in the morning balm as you rooted around for stray roots and watered the leaves which looked a little too brittle in the dew. The birds sang as the neighbourhood still slept. It was a rare moment of your own.

Well, almost all yours. 

You turned at the steady beat of sneakers on the pavement. You stood and dusted off your gloves. Steve, your neighbour from just across the street, stopped as he reached the end of your walk. He smiled and wiped the sweat from his brow. 

“I don’t know how you do it,” You said. “You’ve got a newborn keeping you up all night and here you are, running the entire neighbourhood like it’s nothing.”

He laughed. “Never got much sleep to begin with,” He said. “You know, if you ever get bored of the dirt and grubs, you’re welcome to join me.”

“You know I couldn’t keep up with you, Cap,” You grinned. 

“Not anymore,” He said. “I hung that shield up.”

“Oh yes, Logan told me you let him toss it around.” 

“Well, he tried,” Steve said. “I… you know, I’m happy I ran into you. Me and Sharon, we’re having this thing next weekend. A party for all us restless parents. No kids.”

“Yeah, she was saying the other day.” You replied. “I’m sure I could get the sitter and Logan never says no to a beer or two.”

“Maybe we could hit the felt again. It’s been a while.” He ventured. “We had to move the table but I got the cues all ready.”

“Yeah, maybe,” You said. “So she let you keep it.”

“It’s in the garage now but it’s still in one piece,” He preened. “You should pop by some time. After dinner, I like to try a few trick shots.”

“I’ll try,” You said. “I’m usually the one cleaning up dinner and Kayla. But, maybe we could do doubles sometime. Nap time, maybe.”

“I might be able to convince Sharon,” He rubbed his neck and glanced over at his house. “Speaking of, I should go check in on her. Got a serious diaper run to go on this morning.”

“See ya,” You said. “Say hi to Sharon for me.”

“See ya,” He turned and jogged across the street. 

He stopped at his front door and turned back to look at you as you collected your watering can and basket of tools. He waved and you waved back. A coffee would be nice before you roused the little monster. Saturday was pancake day and she rarely forgot it.

🏠

That day you kept thinking about your neighbours. Steve and Sharon used to be your weekend buddies. You’d stop by after you put Kayla down for the night and have a few drinks. That was until Sharon had gotten pregnant and they’d both descended into full blown panic mode. Baby this, baby that! It was a peculiar type of excitement which had them both beaming and baffled.

You’d seen Sharon for lunch every now and then and at her shower. She was so swept up in it all that she wasn’t as social as before. You were glad to hear she was throwing one of her parties. She was finding her balance again.

As for Steve, you only really saw him in passing. Doing yard work or random chores around the house. He was always busy it seemed. Well, that was life.

You went about your usual Saturday routine; pancake breakfast, dishes, play time with Kayla, lunch, nap time, a walk to the park, dinner… The days only varied when you worked and most times, you did so from home. You were lucky enough to spend much of your time with your daughter, though you wished you could say the same of Logan.

He worked hard, you couldn’t fault him that. Most days, he stayed late. By the time he got home, he was so wrapped up in it that it was all he could talk about. But he was a good dad when he was there. He loved Kayla and he treated you well enough.

Sunday was lazy. The afternoon was disappointing as Logan spent much of it on the phone with his boss. You took Kayla out to the garden so she couldn’t disturb the call. She helped, or tried to help you transfer some flowers from your garden into a pot. Proud of your creation, you took her across the street and knocked on the door.

Steve answered it to your surprise. Sharon was usually quick to the punch. You greeted him with a smile. 

“Sorry, we didn’t mean to disturb, I just thought… well Sharon said she liked the flowers so we brought you some.” You held out the pot.

“You can put them in your garden,” Kayla said cheerily.

“I need to make a garden first,” He grinned at her and took the pot. “Thank you. I’m sure Sharon will find a place for them. She’s just sleeping with the baby right now.”

“I get it,” You said. “We were a bit restless and just wanted to say hi. She wanted to give them to Ethel but you know she has terrible allergies.”

“I appreciate the thought,” He leaned down to talk to Kayla, “You’re getting big, kiddo. How old are you now?”

“Four,” She chimed. “Mommy says I’m old enough to go to school.”

“I would think you are,” He replied as he stood straight. “I’ll let Sharon know you came by. Oh, and… the pool table is still open.”

“Maybe tomorrow,” You offered. “Logan’s taking Kayla to a Paw Patrol show.”

“Tomorrow,” He accepted. “I’m gonna hold you to it.”

“What happened to that friend of yours; James?” You wondered.

“Bucky. He’s around now and then.” Steve shrugged. “But not as much as I like. And he prefers poker.”

“Ah,” You took Kayla’s hand before she could wander away. “Well, I’ll see ya.”

“What time’s the show?” He asked before you could back away. 

“Six.” You answered.

“Then I’ll see you at six-thirty. How’s that?”

“Six-thirty it is,” You confirmed as you picked up Kayla and turned away. “Okay, you little brat, let’s go bug your father.”

🏠

You were glad Logan was getting some time with Kayla. You wished you could go with them but keeping to your new budget, two tickets were all that could be had. The upside was that you didn’t have to sit through the cartoony mascots dancing in an arena full of hyper children.

You gave Kayla a kiss on the cheek and barely sneaked a kiss on Logan’s lips before she tugged him away from you. He strapped her into her seat and gave a smile as he climbed in the front. You smiled as they left but when they were gone, you felt restless. There were only a few times you were without Kayla; at work and during your early morning gardening sessions.

You went inside and wandered around the kitchen for a few minutes. You poured yourself a glass of wine and looked at the clock. You were suddenly very grateful for Steve’s invitation. The game would keep your mind off your listlessness.

You finished your chardonnay and rinsed the glass. You stepped out the front door and found Steve’s garage door open as he ducked beneath it to wave you over. You looked down the street before you crossed and jogged up the drive. 

“Hey,” You entered the cool garage. The pool table took up much of the space not occupied by the aged motorcycle Steve had been working on for years. “What’s up?”

“Oh you know, getting some practice in,” He grabbed the cue leaning against the table and another from the rack on the wall. He handed you one. “Hope you’re not too rusty.”

“You know, I’ve been playing online but it’s not quite the same,” You kidded. “What’s Sharon up to?”

“I asked her if she wanted to come out and join us,” Steve shrugged. “But she’s been on the phone with her mother all day.”

“Maybe next time,” You watched as he set up the balls in the frame.

“You want a beer or something?” He asked as he stood.

“I shouldn’t. I just had some wine. I don’t like to mix drinks… or rather, my body doesn’t.” You chuckled.

“I’m sure I’ve got some wine,” He went to the mini fridge. “Aha, pinot… grigio.” He squinted at the label as he turned around. “Sharon hasn’t touched the stuff in ages. It hasn’t been opened though.”

“Really, I shouldn’t.” You waved him off.

“Come on.”

“Is this some sort of tactic?” You teased. “To get me off my game?”

“Maybe,” He twisted open the bottle and handed it to you. “It’s open. You gotta at least have a sip.”

You tilted your head at him.

“I don’t have any glasses out here,” He grinned.

“Just a sip,” You took the bottle and drank less than a mouthful. You placed it on the metal side table against the wall and fiddled with your cue. He returned to the fridge and grabbed a tall can of beer. “Thought that stuff didn’t get to you.”

“Doesn’t, but it’s comforting,” He approached the other side of the table. “When I was… serving, the men didn’t have much to do but drink on their time off.”

“Ah,” You leaned your cue on the top of your shoe. “It’s like how tequila makes me wanna run as far as I can in the other direction.”

“I guess,” He said. “Guest’s honour. You can break.”

“Alright,” You went to the head of the table and lined up the cue ball. “Wait.” You paused as you bent over the table. “What do I get when I win?”

“If you win,” He corrected. “And, I don’t know. Twenty bucks.”

“No fun. How about… I get to try on the helmet.”

“Helmet?” He blinked.

“That old war relic you have in your den.” You said. “You know I always wanted to try it on.”

“It’s an antique now,” He said. “Rusty.”

“Like you?” You taunted.

“Like me,” He rolled his eyes. “Fine. And what about if I win?”

“Name your price,” You narrowed your eyes at the table and set up your shot.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind a touch of that green thumb,” He said. “I… wanted to do something special for Sharon. Clean out the garden, replant everything that’s died.”

“That’s not really an even trade,” You mused as you hit the ball. “But it’s a bet.” You stood as the coloured balls shot in all directions. Three solids plopped into the corner pockets. “Oh, I also get a selfie in the helmet.”

🏠

You glared at the felt. Then the bottle of wine. You should have stopped at a sip but you had gotten carried away in the game. You’d also missed your last shot and set up Steve to sink the last stripes before he set his eyes on the eight ball. He called the top left pocket and you hoped he missed. Crossed your fingers around the cue.

The clack of the balls echoed in the garage and the black ball made a slow path to the pocket. It tipped over the edge and you curse. You stomped your foot and spun the cue in your hand.

“No fair,” You pouted. “You’ve been practising.”

“And… I’m sure that online pool is quite the workout.”

“Only for my finger,” You held up your index. “So… the garden?”

“Can we start this week?” He asked.

“Sure,” You smiled. “You’ll have to grab seeds or whatever. Please, anything but rose bushes.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know where to begin but I’m sure I could ask someone at the greenhouse,” He mulled.

He went to the table and reached into the pockets. He pulled out a yellow ball and a red ball. He place them parallel at the other end.

“Or maybe… I don’t know, I know you’re busy but you could help me?”

“That wasn’t part of the bet,” You said. “But sure. I can do Wednesday afternoon. I hope you don’t mind if Kayla tags along.”

“Of course not,” He lined up the cue ball in front of you.

“What are you doing?” You stepped away from the table as he grabbed his cue.

“A trick I’ve been working on,” He said. “I saw it online and gave it a go. It’s fun.”

He bent over the felt and hit the ball. It hit the yellow ball which bounced off the red one and sent both of them into opposite pockets. He stood and smirked proudly.

“Your turn,” He rearranged the balls and you frowned.

“I can’t,” You argued. “I think I had too much of that wine.”

“Come on,” He said. “Just give it a try.”

You looked at your phone. It was already past eight.

“It’s not that late,” He urged.

“Fine,” You took your cue and approached the table. 

Your shot was less successful than his. The yellow ball hit the red in but came to a halt several inches from the pocket. You shrugged and stood straight.

“See.” You huffed.

“Practice,” He positioned them again. 

He came around the table as he placed the cue ball before you. He stood behind you as you relented and lined up your shot. You paused as he adjusted the end of your cue and neared. He leaned over you and helped you position the nose of the cue. He was almost flush against you, just for a moment before he backed away.

“You just gotta put some force behind it,” He said as he walked along the side of the table. 

He stepped back to see the table. You hit the white ball and shakily retreated from the felt. The yellow and red split off and the latter plopped into the pocket while the former bounced off the edge of the corner.

“Close,” He said and went to the table. He shoved his hand in the small pocket. “Night’s not over til you get it.”

[vagrantblvrd]

Modern day spy/assassin AU where former singer/musician/~artiste works in a cozy little coffee shop neatly sandwiched between a bookstore and, idk, a flower shop.

Expected to be one of the hottest new stars coming out of Oxenfurt if it hadn’t been for that scandal with fellow band member and rumored lover Valdo Marx over alleged song theft and so on. Followed by a messy break up - band and personal - and a drawn out legal battle that drained what money Valdo hadn’t stolen from him.

(And a year or so after all that Jaskier doesn’t like to think about too much before he got his feet back under him and a friend mentioned this coffee shop she frequented, and anyway, he’s doing much better now and also somehow ends up owning it himself when its previous owner retires and sells the business to him for like, five bucks, because the power of friendship or something, idk.)

One day on his way home he stumbles over someone half dead in an alley and is like oh, oh, no because the last thing he needs is another scandal attached to his name?

Like.

He’s kept his nose clean for just over six month now, has been playing around with new melodies and bought a new notebook for lyrics and whatnot. Looked into playing at some local places, not really wanting to be a megastar or whatever these days, but he loves music and performing in a little bar somewhere would be nice, you know?

ANYWAY.

Turns out the guy isn’t actually dead, thank goodness but might as well be? Has this medallion around his neck, a cat? Which, okay, whatever he’s seen stranger and he’s getting his phone out to call an ambulance or whatever, crouched next to the guy.

Memory from the CPR course he took in college surfaces in his mind - the instructor was hot and even if Jaskier never got the guy’s number he learned valuable life skills. (And also met Shani and that proved better than getting the guy’s number because she’s one of his best friends and also incredible and anyway.)

Reaches out to check for a pulse, which is when the guy grabs his wrist - surprisingly strong grip for someone who looks like he lost a fight with a freight train - and hsi eyes snap open and they are...extremely striking and not at all normal - cat eyes, to go with the cat medallion and hahaha, oh shit, this is bad, bad news, isn’t it?

The guy tries to threaten him, which. Not as effective when the growl he’s trying for just sounds sad and pathetic, and anyway, there’s something...not fear, no, in his eyes, that has Jaskier forgetting to put the call through for an ambulance.

It’s very close to fear though. Worry? Concern? Something that Jaskier relates to in some incredibly fucked up way.

(The way he felt when Valdo Marx fucked him over and everything he’d built fell apart around him, and anyway, yes.)

He doesn’t even know why, he does, or why he ends up hauling the guy up to his apartment and patches him up best he can with wwhat he has on hand.

Will probably end up being murdered by the guy the moment he’s on his feet, but eh, that’s a problem for future Jaskier, really.)

Anyway, Aiden - because of course it’s Aiden - is super suspicious of Jaskier and his everything and there is indeed a moment where he pins Jaskier to a wall with a kitchen knife - it was an apartment-warming gift from Shani and Essi and Jaskier’s more worried about it being damaged than Aiden slitting his throat, which just confuses Aiden?

Because what even is Jaskier and his priorities???

But he doesn’t kill Jaskier and the knife gets put back and aside from that little bump in their relationship they actually become friends after that.

Jaskier takes to referring to Aiden as a stray cat whenever one of his friends or whoever asks why he buys more groceries or hurries home after work instead of sticking around to gossip a bit the way he usually does.

 Aiden thinks it’s hilarious as opposed to insulting, which is great seeing as how Jaskier’s pretty sure the man’s a hitman or assassin or other similar career?

(Might be the way he mentions past jobs and his dark sense of humor and also the time he could have killed Jaskier if he felt he was a threat? So, yes.)

And Aiden, okay.

Got burned or something to leave him half dead in an alley for just anyone to stumble over and since Jaskier hasn’t made any fuss about him moving out decides he might as well stay where he is for the time being, you know?

He goes and gets a job...somewhere to help with rent and so on. Offers Jaskier enough hints to make it sound like he’s out murderizing people right and left the moment he’s out of the apartment, but then Jaskier sees him helping Triss bring in deliveries out behind the flower shop so he knows Aiden’s been fucking with him on that front and is like, dude, not funny.

(Aiden begs to disagree, but whatever.)

And then!

A month or so after Aiden’s back on his feet Jaskier runs into one of the owners of the bookshop next door?

New management and so on, and oh no, he’s exceedingly hot.

White hair and gold eyes and, sure, he’s not the most talkative guy around? But Jaskier’s cracked tougher nuts or some other way of phrasing it that doesn’t sound like a euphemism.

Also, also, there’s another painfully attractive man working there who is incredibly sweet and has a menace of a goat that they have instead of a bookstore cat?

Which.

Seems like a bad idea since Jaskier often hears about how Lil Bleater nibbles on the books if someone isn’t watching her and anyway, it means he gets to listen to Eskel lament about her latest misadventures while Geralt stands there and tries not to let on how amused he is by both the bookstoer goat and her owner and Jaskier is like shit, because Geralt and Eskel are so, so hot and he’s only human and Aiden, Aiden, do not laugh at his pain, you utter bastard of a man.

ANYWAY.

Shenanigans in which Geralt and Eskel think Jaskier has this insufferable bastard of a former stray cat at home and Jaskier piiiiines like a sad bastard while Aiden laughs and laughs and laughs.

(It should be pointed out that not once in all the time Aiden started working for Triss - and Geralt, Eskel, and Lambert - who Jaskier has heard all about but not yet met - have seen one another even though they spend most of the working day a few hundred feet apart, because Plot Reasons.)

And then!

Some shenanigans in which Geralt or Eskel - who are totally spies who are using their cozy little bookshop as a cover - get tangled up in trouble and Jaskier stumbles on them with this incredible sense of deja vu.

He drags them into the coffee shop to patch them up, and he forgets to lock the front door, which is convenient because then Aiden wanders in hoping for a free coffee?

(Power of ~friendship, and also roommates, and yes.)

Jaskier is kind of covered in blood - Geralt and Eskel’s - and Aiden is immediately in Assassin!Mode because he’s fond of Jaskier, right, owes him his life and such.

But also, Geralt and Eskel who have also had their oh, oh no he’s hot moment when it comes to Jaskier are likewise fond of him - and working up the nerve to ask him for a date, but that’s neither here nor there - go into Spy!Mode and there’s an honestly kind of terrifying, kind of sad stand-off.

Jaskier is in Adrenaline!Mode because fuck his life, of course Geralt and Eskel can’t just be incredibly hot bookstore owners and is like “If you fuck up my coffee shop I will not be happy, and also please consider my delicate sensibilities,”

Which manages to stop whatever fight was about to break out and he essentially does the Chris Pratt with the raptors thing, only with a couple of spies and his assassin roommate.

Pretends the three of them aren’t throwing menacing looks at one another as he patches Geralt and Eskel up and then is like “Well, that was fun!” because no, no it was not, and his heart is going to burst with all the tension and whatnot in the air. and hahaha, this is fine.

Which of course is when Lambert comes stomping through the front door and there is even more Drama and Angst because his ~forbidden relationship with Assassin!Aiden and heartbreak when it was assumed he’d been killed by his agency a few months back, but wait, he’s still alive???

And idk, just a lot of ridiculous spy movie cliche nonsense in which Jaskier is reluctantly dragged into things because he saved Aiden’s life that one time, and is piiiiining for Geralt and Eskel and of course he gets taken hostage and they have to band together to save him but shenanigans and ~plot twists and so on.

(And then when it seems all is lost Triss and her utterly terrifying girlfriend Yennefer actually save the day because they, too, are spies and Jaskier would honestly like to know if he’s the only normal person he knows or what, because really, what are the odds???)

Whenever the death-defying events and such are over Jaskier does, actually, go on a date with Geralt and Eskel and some smooching happens.

(Technically not their first, because that happened after they saved Jaskier’s life in that oh thank god none of us died moment after all the danger and excitement, but none of them mind, because smooches.)

Lambert and Aiden make fun of the three of them, but gently because they, too, are prime targets for mockery as they also decide to try a proper relationship and not just stolen moments here and there, and anyway, anyway

A year or so down the road Jaskier gets tired of coming home to find the two in compromising situations and is like, why, though, which conveniently happens around the time Geralt and Eskel approach him about moving in with them somewhere and he’s like, well, if he must, like he’s not thrilled about it because he’s kind of gone on the two of them, you know?

So they get this place big enough for the three of them and Lil Bleater and Aiden and Lambert get his old place and it all works out?

Sure, sure, there are a few close moments where Geralt and Eskel’s work puts Jaskier in danger, and that time whoever tried to kill Aiden targets Jaskier and so on?

But he’s like, eh, it happens, because obviously it does.

Which means Geralt and Eskel take it upon themselves to teach him to defend himself - and half the time it ends in smooches and sexytimes because hand-to-hand and being pinned to mats and adjusting his stance while learning how to use firearms and such, you know?

But also Aiden and Lambert teaching Jaskier knives and explosives - “I’m sorry, but one of these things is not like the others,” in regard to Lambert and his explosives, but it’s a ~bonding moment, so whatever.

(Also, also, that time Jaskier was able to defuse a bomb in some highly improbable and ridiculous bit of shenanigans with spy nonsense and Lambert being a smug prick about it for forever afterwards.)

And then Jaskier finds out Geralt has this incredible kid with Yennefer and what the hell is his life that all these people know each other and he doesn’t find out about it until ages afterwards, but anyway.

Ciri is awesome and after her Vesemir comes to meet the guy two of his sons are in love with, and Coen shows up along with other assorted characters I’ve forgotten and anyway, yes???

(Also, also, Yennefer happens to find out about Valdo Marx and she straightens out that mess quietly and efficiently in such a way that Jaskier doesn’t realize it until long after the fact and is like hm, because he didn’t think she particularly liked him, but apparently he was wrong? Which leads to brunch dates with her and Triss and gossiping about the other idiots in their lives and discussing Jaskier giving Ciri music lessons and anyway, yes.)

[echo-bleu]

no one ever said it would be this hard

For @moonlight-breeze-44 Happy birthday Em!! I hope you like this. I made it all angsty and painful for you 💙

I've been wanting to write Alec breaking down after breaking up with Magnus for a good while, and this was a great opportunity. This is part of my map out a world series (though there's no need to read the other parts first as it's mostly canon compliant), but it can reasonably be read as a prequel to take me back to the start, too. Hence the Coldplay title.

Huge thanks to my amazing beta @jeanboulet who edited this super fast and helped me figure out a title.

[self-harm, self-injurious stims, meltdown, blood, dissociation]

Read on AO3.

It should be raining, or something. There should be some kind of external sign that the world has just turned on its axis. The night shouldn’t be this… normal.

Alec runs back to the Institute on autopilot. He doesn’t even realize that he’s forgotten to activate his speed rune until he arrives, panting, at the front doors. He runs fast enough to make his lungs burn, because it prevents him from crying all the tears in his body. He shouldn’t cry. He chose this.

It doesn’t make it hurt any less. It doesn’t make it feel any less like his whole world just ended.

Maybe because it did.

“Alec!”

He’s assaulted by Izzy as soon as he steps inside. He doesn’t even have time to take his hand off the handle of the door before she’s in his space, shouting. Something about Jonathan. Something about Clary. Something—

Wait. He didn’t follow any of that, but something clicks in his mind. He felt pain in the parabatai bond, before. He didn’t really feel it, with how fucking tense he was, but he noted it in a corner of his mind somehow. Jace is hurt. Izzy is panicked. Clary is… missing, if what his brain is parsing together is right. Jonathan is gone.

Fuck.

Alec pushes it all away. He knows how to do it, how to switch to soldier mode. Dissociate his feelings from his actions, make his body and his brain do what needs to be done. He’s always known. It was the first thing he learned, long before the Academy, long before formal training. He closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them again, there is nothing but complete clarity.

As long as he holds on tight.

He takes Izzy by the shoulders. “Tell me again.”

“Jonathan got into Clary’s head!” Izzy shouts again, too loud in his ears, like she can’t control the level of her voice in her panic. Alec doesn’t wince. He doesn’t feel pain the same way, when he does this.

It’s useful. He can just hold her tighter and get the whole story out of her, how Clary knocked Jace out and freed Jonathan. “They’re gone.”

“Okay,” Alec murmurs, for Izzy’s benefit. “Okay. Calm down. We need to secure the premises.”

“Already done, sir,” Underhill comes behind Izzy. “No sign of them. We have a Seelie knight dead in the observation cell. Three dead guards.”

Alec tightens his fists, remembering just in time to let go of Izzy first. He doesn’t feel his nails digging into his palms. He doesn’t feel his phone buzzing in his pocket with the Institute-wide alert. He doesn’t feel.

It’s a good thing.

“Izzy, go find Jace,” he orders. “Underhill, I need a full sweep. Where’s Jens?”

Underhill points to the Ops table, beside which Jens is talking on the phone. Izzy shakes herself – she’s no stranger to obeying orders, either – and she jogs away. Alec doesn’t bother tracking where she’s going. He knows he’s operating on limited bandwidth, limited energy. He has to rely on his subordinates.

“I’ve informed the Clave,” Jens says over the noise of the ops center as soon as he hangs up his phone.

Alec walks up to him, Underhill on his heels.

“Sir,” Underhill starts, agitated. “Won’t they—”

“They will, but we can’t do without it now,” Alec says. “I assume they’re reinstating the kill order?”

“Yes,” Jens confirms. “We have orders to put all our available teams on it, and they will send additional ones in the morning.”

Alec places his hands flat on the edge of the table, and takes strength from the pressure for a second. “Brief the teams. Capture, don’t kill. I’ll handle the Clave.”

Underhill nods at his dismissal and walks away, but Jens lingers. Alec grits his teeth. There’s so much to do, and so little time to do it, and he can’t let go now.

“Alec, is everything alright?” Jens asks – not softly, not exactly, but he can see what no one else notices. He’s known Alec forever. He’s known Alec better than his own siblings for years.

“I can’t do this now,” Alec responds honestly. He can barely make himself speak out loud.

“The Clave is handled for now,” Jens answers. He’s switching almost automatically to trying to relieve Alec of as many duties as possible, like well-oiled machinery. He knows exactly when to push Alec, and when to hold back. He knows that Alec can’t handle more pressure now. “They’ll call if they need more intel. Paperwork can wait.”

“Maybe it shouldn’t,” Alec says. Maybe he won’t be able to handle it later.

“It will,” Jens asserts. “Go to your siblings. I can hold the fort.”

Alec sighs. He can’t slip now. He nods at Jens and grips the edges of the table tighter.

Jace, Izzy and Simon, his presence almost incongruous, stride up on the catwalk at that moment. “Alec!”

Alec moves like he’s in a sea of treacle. Every muscle in his body is tenser than a guitar string. It must be visible, because Izzy gives him a look of concern. Or maybe she suspects what he abandoned them for.

Fuck. He was supposed to be there with them. If he had been, maybe—

It almost makes him crumble. He stumbles, just barely, and pulls his control back tighter. They have a whole conversation around him about the Clave’s orders and the Heavenly Fire serum, and Alec is sure that he participates in some way, but he would be hard-pressed to say how.

He’s entirely unsure of what happens for the rest of the night. Or the next day. He doesn’t have a single second to himself to reflect on things, and it’s good. He’s fairly sure that he allows Jace desperate measures that he would have never signed on otherwise, but, well, Jace needs to get Clary back. One of them needs to end this with their heart intact.

There’s one moment, during the day, when Jace asks about Magnus. Alec nearly crumples just at hearing his name. “Sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to.” He hears the words coming out of his mouth like he’s far away, in another world, another universe. There’s a version of him that enunciates them, and Alec has lost track which. Alec the Clave soldier doesn’t have room for any of that. And he’s closed the door on any other part of him.

He falters for one moment, and as soon as Jace leaves his office, he activates half the runes on his body, just to anchor himself on the rush of energy. Stamina. He hasn’t slept in almost three days. Strength. His body feels like jelly. Calm Anger. It pushes everything back down.

And if he abuses them, well, no one else needs to know.

*

He’s sitting on his bed when his siblings find him. It must have been, what, six hours since Jace was thrown back through a portal into the Institute? He’s frozen, afraid that if he moves an inch, he’ll shatter into pieces.

He hasn’t moved for hours. He’s sitting with his back perfectly straight, his feet flat on the ground, still fully dressed in patrol gear, long past the time when the position should have become uncomfortable – but he can’t even feel it. His hands are clasped together, too tight, his knuckles white with the effort. Stuck.

He doesn’t move when Izzy and Jace knock, and at his lack of answer, they slip inside. He can’t look up at them, he can’t react. He clenches his jaw hard and tries not to fall apart.

“Alec,” Izzy calls quietly, passing through his field of vision. She disappears briefly and reappears kneeling beside him, just shy of touching him. Alec wants to jerk out of the way, but his body doesn’t obey.

“Alec, you’re feeling really awful, buddy,” Jace says, crouching on the other side.

Alec breathes carefully, evenly, as he has for hours, until there’s a hitch. His breathing goes out of sync with his brain, with his locked down body, and it crumbles. He falls apart.

He crumples in on himself, chin reaching his knees as he curls up, gasping. He digs his thumbs into his forehead and, when that doesn’t work, he stuffs his fingers into his mouth and bites down hard. He slips off the bed and falls onto the floor, and the pain of hitting his back against the bed frame doesn’t even register as he starts to rock back and forth.

“Alec!” Izzy reacts. But she doesn’t try to touch him. She knows if won’t go over well.

Jace doesn’t have the same compulsion, not when Alec’s fingers are still in his mouth and he’s tasting iron. Blood. “Alec, you have to stop,” he tries. He approaches his hand to pull on Alec’s forearm, but as soon as their skins touch, Alec lets out a strangled cry and backs away, into the bed frame, then brutally onto the bed, until he’s backed up against the headboard.

Fuck. The urge to hit his head to dull the agony is irresistible, and it makes a thud as pain erupts under his scalp. He hears, vaguely, his siblings trying to stop him verbally, but nothing is coming through anymore. He screams silently, mouth open in agony, as his head hits the wall again and again.

“Alec.” Izzy is crying now. Alec thinks distantly that she’s never seen him this bad, not since they were little kids and she didn’t have to handle him. He’s long learned to hide his meltdowns, to shutdown instead, like he’s done for most of today – yesterday. Dissociate until there’s nothing left of him.

This time, it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough, because nothing is enough.

He’s been able to stay numb for twenty-eight hours, since he closed the door of his mother’s shop and left Magnus inside. He’s been—

Magnus.

Fuck.

He pulls at his hair, hard enough to uproot it. Nothing is enough. His skin is too tight for the pain bubbling inside of him, and he’s exploding, losing all control. He’s a giant knot, muscles taut and burning from staying so tense all day, runes overworked and overloaded.

His eyes stay dry, even as he craves the relief of crying. “Alec,” someone murmurs – he doesn’t know who anymore. “Shhhhh. It’s okay.”

It’s not okay. There’s no such thing as okay, now, not without—

His chest feels like a hole has been punched through it, and it’s been filled with self-expanding foam. He sobs without a noise, his shoulders shaking and his whole body trembling.

Suddenly, there’s a warm body against him, and for a moment, Alec is about to throw it off, to react violently against the unbearable touch. He resists, but the arms around him tighten until it almost smothers him — paradoxically, that calms him down. Jace holds him and rocks with him and slowly, very slowly, Alec settles.

The tears don’t come until Izzy’s smaller hands reach him, first checking him for injuries, then soothing him, running over his shoulders and his neck, always strong and tight. Alec hiccups and almost throws up, but he hasn’t eaten in too long. He dry heaves instead, coughing without breathing, gasping until his eyes water and finally he’s sobbing fully.

He hears Jace’s voice in between painful hiccups. “Izzy told me what happened. How do we help?”

Alec shakes his head when he’s finally parsed the sentence, probably too late for it to make sense. There’s nothing they can do, and Alec has no words in him to tell them. It’s over. Magnus is gone. Gone from his life, forever.

The sobs redouble, and Alec heaves over the arm holding him up, probably Jace’s. His chest is on fire, but it feels right. It should hurt. It should be so painful as to be unbearable, because that’s what it feels like inside.

There’s already a Magnus-shaped hole inside him, and it’s only going to grow deeper and larger. Alec wonders, vaguely, how long he has until it swallows him whole.

*

It feels like hours before his sobs subside, leaving him breathless and listless, like a puppet whose strings have been cut. Alec gradually slides down until he’s curled up on his side on the bed, his head on the pillow Magnus slept on just two days ago.

Jace and Izzy move with him, refusing to let him go. They scoot over until they’re framing him, Jace curled against his back and Izzy in front of him, one hand cupping his wrist. Alec lets himself soak up their warmth as he starts shivering.

He doesn’t stop crying in one go. He keeps seeing flashes of Magnus, and it only takes a half-formed thought to start again, the sobs wracking his body. It’s less violent every time, though, and after a while it only extracts a pitiful hiccup from him, his tears long dried out. Jace and Izzy keep holding him silently, though Alec can feel the looks they exchange over his shoulder.

“Alec,” Jace murmurs after a long time. “Was there really no other way?”

Alec struggles to focus his gaze on something – Izzy’s hand on his wrist, in this case – and he wets his lips several times without managing to speak. He shakes his head.

“It’s okay if you can’t speak right now,” Izzy whispers. “We’re here for you.”

Alec nods gratefully. She’s only recently learned to do this, to recognize when he’s struggling to form words. None of his family ever caught on – his siblings used to laugh at him, when he struggled with seemingly simple things. His parents would shake him and force him to hide it.

Magnus was the first one to understand.

Magnus was the first one to see Alec. The first one to love him for who he is, and not for the image of Alec he had in his mind. And Alec ruined it, over and over. He betrayed Magnus and let him suffer because of his actions.

He brought Magnus nothing but pain.

He tastes ashes. His mouth feels dry, parched by a thirst that will never be quenched again. He hurts all over from tensing so much, but it feels like a too small punishment for his sins.

“I can’t,” he starts, forcing the words out over the knot in his throat. “I can’t imagine living without him.”

It opens up yet another avenue of thoughts, that he’s pushed away until now. All his plans for the future include Magnus. There is no Alec without Magnus, not in his head. He’s dreamed so often about marrying him, recently, about seeing the Lightwood ring on Magnus’ hand and moving in together and—

What is he going to do now?

He can’t stop seeing Magnus’ face as he left the shop, the desperation in his eyes. Did he really do the right thing? Magnus has lost so much recently—

But that’s exactly why Alec did it. Magnus has lost too much. His magic is an intrinsic part of himself, something he can’t just do without, even if it took Alec too much time to understand. His immortality is a part of him. Alec… Alec is just a lover. One more lover in a long string of them.

Magnus has had many relationships, and he’s lost them all eventually, and he lived through it. But this, losing his magic? He was ready to risk dying from Lorenzo’s transfusion, just to be able to use this second-hand, wrong magic. Even Alec could see how weird the yellow magic was in Magnus’ hands, how sickening, but Magnus latched onto it like it was more important than breathing.

No, Magnus can replace Alec in a way he can never replace his magic. As bad as Alec feels for hurting him on the short term, it’s the only decision he could make.

From the moment the idea of going to Asmodeus went through his brain, he knew that he couldn’t live with himself unless he tried everything. He wishes, selfishly, that he’d never thought of it. He’d be holding Magnus right now in this bed, instead of lying heartbroken between his siblings.

It wouldn’t hurt like this.

“You can do this, Alec,” Izzy says softly, but even Alec can tell that she doesn’t fully believe it. “I know you can. We’ve just gotta take it one step at a time.”

“That one of your mundane group things?” Jace asks when Alec doesn’t react.

He doesn’t know how to react. He can’t think of tomorrow, of next week, of any time without Magnus. One step at a time implies that he even wants to go on.

He’s not sure he does.

“Yeah,” Izzy mutters. “It helps. Sometimes.”

Alec wonders if this is what Jace felt when they thought that Clary was dead. What he feels right now when Clary is out there somewhere, brainwashed by Jonathan. Alec can’t feel anything through the parabatai bond, not on top of his own pain.

He grits his teeth against the urge to hit his head again, just to overwhelm the emotional pain. His scalp is going to bruise as it is, unless he uses an iratze. His fingers are covered in teeth marks where he bit himself, some of them still bloody.

“You hope the pain here will overpower the pain there,” Magnus told him once, hand on his heart. Alec almost whimpers.

Oh, to go back there, to the beginning of them. The pain of that day, the overpowering guilt at Jocelyn’s death, feels so inconsequential now. So much has happened. They never had time to stop running, one thing after the other.

It’s been over two years, but Alec feels like he never had time to just breathe. Curl up with Magnus and just enjoy the moment. They always had to think about the next step, the best thing for their respective people, the next threat coming to rip them apart.

And now they’ll never have that time.

Alec jerks his hands out of Izzy’s grasp and he digs his nails into the skin of his scalp, pressing on his eyes with the heels of his palms. Fuck. He can’t do this. He can’t live with this pain.

Jace must sense his distress, because he slings his arm over Alec’s and holds him, so tightly that it’s nearly painful. It eases something in Alec, calming his crawling skin until he can relax just a little. “We’re here,” Jace murmurs in his ear. “We’re not going anywhere.”

“We can’t replace Magnus, but we’ll support you no matter what,” Izzy adds, slipping her arms around both of them. “We love you, Alec. That will never change.”

Alec closes his eyes.

It doesn’t make things better. It doesn’t make tomorrow any less daunting, and it doesn’t stop the excruciating pain. But it soothes something in Alec, making it just a little less unbearable.

His body exhausted beyond its limits, Alec finally falls asleep.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Chapter 8 -- Perfect Harmony | Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Emily Fox is a talented 17-year-old with a passion for all things music. Her dream is to become a successful singer-songwriter one day. But to achieve that dream, she needs to get into one of the most prestigious music schools in her district – it’s all been part of her plan since she was six. Sadly enough, those schools cost a ton of money that her parents don’t want to invest. They don’t even want her to pursue her dream. So, now Emily’s hustling, working at the music store to save up to get into college. That’s until she meets Charlie, an annoying seventeen-year-old boy with the same dream as her. The only difference is, he’s just doing it. He doesn’t need a fancy college to pursue his dream to become famous with his band. He just writes his songs and books small gigs here, there and everywhere. Will meeting Charlie defer her from her dream college, or will he actually help her achieve the dream?

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x OC (Emily Fox)

Warnings: mentions of death, sexual assault

Important note: the characters of Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison are based on the characters they play on the show and i do not own their names, only OC are mine. The songs aren’t mine either, they’re all from the show except for one.

Chapter eight

~|Charlie Gillespie|~

Emily called me Charlie and now I can’t stop thinking about it. “Hey dude! How you doing?” Jeremy asks when I walk into the garage for a band practice when I come back from the Music Store. I can’t hide the smile that’s tugging at my lips. “She called me Charlie.” Both Owen and Jeremy look at me, a little stumped. “I mean, that’s your name?” Owen fairly points out. “Yeah! But she always called me Charles, you know with that scowl on her face and the corners of her mouth curling up slightly because she doesn’t want to smile. But tonight she actually called me Charlie!” I can’t contain my excitement. I feel like bouncing off the walls, running a marathon, climbing the Kilimanjaro. All in one night. “Happy for you, bro, but can we rehearse now?” Owen asks, seemingly stressed out, “My parents are annoyed at me and need me home asap.” He rolls his eyes at the thought alone. I pat his shoulder and grab my electric guitar, so we can start rehearsing. “Let’s do Crooked Teeth?” I suggest, and both Jeremy and Owen agree. I can’t stop thinking about Emily though. She called me Charlie.

“Practice tonight?” Jeremy asks when we meet at school the following day. “Yeah, but after seven. I’m hanging out with Emily tonight.” Owen and Jeremy’s eyebrows raise simultaneously. “Like a date?” Jeremy wants to know. “No,” I reply faster than I wanted to. “No, I’m just going to hang out at the store, play my guitar while she cleans up.” My two best friends nod their heads in understanding. “You’re bringing your own guitar to the Music Store?” Owen questions. “No, uhm… There’s this one guitar I always play when I’m there and she called it mine last night, so…” Once again, I can’t withhold myself from smiling at the thought alone. “Is it that Fender CD-60 in black?” Owen asks. “Yeah, that one,” I reply. “That’s the one she was tuning when I went in the store to ask her about the Open Mic Night.” I raise an eyebrow at him. So it was her that tuned the instrument differently from how I did it last time I was there. “Might’ve been a coincidence though.” “Might be,” I say, nodding, not believing one thing. That was no coincidence. Either she did that to mess with me, or she wanted to play the guitar I always used because she missed hearing the sound while working. I’m kind of hoping for the latter, which also means she missed me. Kind of.

Emily hasn’t arrived at the Music Store yet. Only Ash is present, along with a dude I’ve never seen before. I wonder if he’s the other employee whenever Emily’s at school.

“Oh, hey! Charlie, right?” Ash approaches me when I’m about to grab my guitar.

“Yeah. Yeah, hi, Ash!” The woman is taller than me, her bright red hair cut into a pixie cut, and her eyeliner dark and defining. She looks really cool. “Emily not here yet?”

“I’m afraid not. She might’ve been just held up at school or something. She’ll be here soon.”

“Okay, good. I wanted to ask her something.”

“Like on a date?” Ash wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

“What? No!” My answer sounds way too defensively. “I wanted to ask her something about music.” Now she has this face that just tells me she doesn’t believe one thing I’m saying. I wasn’t planning on asking Emily on a date. Not that I don’t want to. I just think it’s too soon. She’s just warming up to me, I’m not going to jeopardize that by asking her on a date.

“Ah, too bad. I think you’d be a great couple.” I manage to offer her a smile while my insides are heating up. “I actually wanted to ask you for a favor.”

“To ask Emily out?” I ask, totally confused and too focused on my body heating up.

“No, no!” she scoffs, “No, I wanted to ask if you would help me out and polish some of the guitars? Most of those are just there for display since we have the actual for sale ones in the back in stock, but they’re in dire need of a good polish and my new assistant is shit.” I widen my eyes, knowing he’s walking around here and heard that. “It’s my brother, I’m allowed to say that,” she whispers to me and winks, comforting me a little bit. “I don’t mind paying you for it?” The offer sounds compelling, but I’ve been playing their guitars for weeks without ever paying for anything except when I actually purchased something.

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I’ll do it for free. I’m here every day anyway.” Ash offers me a smile.

“Yeah, I know, that’s why I’m asking.” I open my mouth to say something else, but Ash has already turned back to her ‘shit assistant’. So, I close it and turn around to get to the guitars. I grab the one next to the black Fender, a mahogany Fender, when Ash brings me the polish to get to work. Which is also when the bell over the door rings, signaling a new client in the store. I look up to see if I’d recognize them from the neighborhood, and when I do, I can’t help the smile tugging at my lips. It’s Emily. And with the low sun shining through the large windows behind her, she almost looks like an angel. She already has the voice for it.

“Hey, Charlie,” she greets with a wave.

“H-Hi, E-Emily.” I’m not sure why my mouth can’t form the proper words, but I’m struggling.

“Is Ash exploiting you now?” She points at the polish and the guitar in my hands.

“I mean, I’m here all the time anyway, so…” Emily raises an eyebrow before making her way to the cash register where Ash and her brother are fighting. Now I’m curious what she’s going to do since she didn’t really react to what I said.

“Are you exploiting kids for free now, Ashlynn?” She always uses full names when annoyed. Noted. Ash turns to face Emily, mid-conversation with her brother, her eyes wide.

“I didn’t pay you on Monday either because you told me you would do it for free, just as he said he’d do it for free. I’m just calling it a win-win situation,” she shrugs.

“He doesn’t work here though, I do. If I take non-paid hours, that’s my problem. He doesn’t work here. He has no contract. You know that brings both of you in trouble, right?” Ash’s eyes widen as if she’d forgotten about all of that since she’s been too busy with her brother. Deciding to hop into savior-mode, I hop off the bench I’m sitting on and rushing towards the girls. “I really don’t mind, Emily. If this means I get to spend time with you, I’d do anything.” Emily’s mouth curls up into a shy smile as her cheeks turn pink.

“Anything?” Ash asks with eyebrows raised.

“Don’t,” Emily says quickly, the tint in her cheeks not leaving, but the smile does, “even think about it. He’ll do the polishing while I clean up, but that’s it.” Ash wants to add something, but Emily gives her a sharp look that makes her shut up. “Now get your brother home.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” she salutes her employee before grabbing her brother by the sleeve and tugging him along through the store until they’re at the door. “Be good, you two!” she yells before shutting the door and leaving me and Emily alone.

“You really didn’t have to stand up for me to your manager like that,” I tell her while she gets behind the counter to sort things through. “Are you going to get in trouble?”

“No, I’m not going to get in trouble. Ash and I know each other very well and we talk shit to each other all the time. She told me I could always call her out on things I didn’t like,” she explains to me whilst sorting through some papers.

“Oh… okay!” I reply, not entirely sure what to say to that, “You still didn’t have to do that though. I don’t mind polishing guitars, especially if it means I get to spend time with you.” Emily’s face lights up again and I can see her looking at me through her lashes.

“That’s sweet, Charlie, but she still doesn’t get to just pick someone who comes here a lot and tell them to do something. Especially without a contract. You can get into a lot of trouble.” All I heard was “You’re sweet, Charlie”. I don’t really care what else she’d said. I’m sweet.

“Won’t you get into trouble for letting customers in after hours?” I ask instead.

“Do you

want

me to kick you out?” I shake my head vigorously, raising my hands in defense, lifting the guitar in the meantime.  

“I’m just gonna…” I nod to the bench I’d come from.

“Yeah,” she replies, that mischievous smile cracking through her tough façade again.

While she handles a few last customers, I admire her from afar while polishing up the guitars. I can’t help but notice how her smile comes and fades with every customer. It’s her customer-service-smile, I can tell. A smile far from the ones she gives me. I also notice how she strains herself, trying to keep from rolling her eyes too much at annoying customers. Or how her lashes flutter whenever she laughs at something someone has said, which I’m sure is a fake laugh too because it wasn’t that funny. Or how she rubs her nose when she’s concentrating.

“UGH!” she groans when turning the little board to tell customers the store has closed for tonight. “People are so dumb!”

“How have you not punched anyone yet?” I ask her, trying to lighten the mood, but it only lands me a sharp glare. The glare only lasts for a second though, as if it was a reaction to what I said but then she realized who said it and softened.

“I have almost punched someone,” she says with a smirk, “On several occasions. Mostly when they’re middle-aged women, thinking they know what they’re doing.” I can’t help but laugh. I would also nearly punch middle-aged know-it-all women if I punched women.

“I admire your willpower to withhold yourself,” I compliment, which earns me a smile. A real smile. None of her customer-service smiles.

“You can stop polishing now,” she tells me. I open my mouth to tell her I don’t mind, but she stops me. “Please, stop polishing the guitars and play one for me. My work gets done faster with your music in the background.” I can feel my lips curling up at that. Maybe she did miss me the other day when she tuned my guitar.

“I’m actually working on a song,” I say while placing the last polished guitar in its place and taking the black Fender instead. “Maybe you could help me on the parts I think suck?” She opens her mouth, and I know what she’s going to say, so I quickly add, “I know you can’t write with me, but I just want your honest opinion, okay?” Her mouth closes and changes into a smile instead, which then changes into a lip-bite. It nearly sends me.

I strum the guitar and begin playing the chords I’ve been working on for a while now, then I start singing the pre-chorus and the chorus I have so far.

“I wanna fly Come alive Watch me shine”

I watch Emily, who’s smiling while grabbing a broom to start sweeping up the place. I quicken the pace of the song a little.

“I got a spark in me Hands up if you can see And you're a part of me Hands up if you're with me”

Before I can continue with what I had, Emily chimes in with something better.

“Now 'til eternity Hands up if you believe Been so long and now we're finally free”

I stop playing to reach for my notebook in my backpack.

“That’s way better than what I had,” I tell her, causing her smile to grow.

“What else you got?” she asks, not taking her eyes off the floor as she sweeps, but I know she’s really interested. Otherwise she wouldn’t ask. Emily is the sort of person, I noticed, who would only ask further if interested. If it doesn’t interest her, the conversation is over.

I play the same chords again and sing the next verse, hoping she’d complete it.

“We're all bright now What a sight now Coming out like we're fireworks”

Her voice is a little soft and hesitant, but I still hear it perfectly.

“Marching on proud Turn it up loud Cause now we know what we're worth”

I nod my head excitedly whilst grabbing my notebook again and writing down her lyrics.

“You’re really talented, Emily,” I tell her honestly, then go back to softly stroking the strings of my guitar. “I can’t wait until you let your creative juices out in the world and, you know, write with me. Properly.”

“This is all because of you, Charlie. Your words… I don’t know… They just perfectly flow with what I create in my own mind.” I’m stumped by that response. That’s exactly how I feel too. We fit so well together, songwriting-wise. It’s a pity we can’t do this more often.

“How can I convince you to join our band?” I blurt out without thinking, and it startles her too. At first, I think she’s going to shut me out again, call me Charles again, give me that scowl. Instead, she halts her sweeping and slowly looks up at me.

“I’m not sure… I guess it wouldn’t hurt to think about it.” I don’t think I was this happy when finding out we got a gig, but I jump up from the bench, leave the guitar on it, and run up to her, picking her up into a tight hug.

“I didn’t say yes, Charlie,” she says, laughing loudly. I slowly put her back on the floor. Our faces are inches away from each other. “I didn’t say yes…” she repeats but this time in a whisper. I’ve never seen her from up close like this. Her eyes glimmer and I finally notice the faint freckles decorating her nose and cheeks. My heart thumps in my chest, but all I can do is hope she doesn’t hear or feel.

“I know,” I finally reply, “But thinking about it is a start.” She stares at me for a while like I’m the only person on this planet for her. I’ve never felt anything like this. This feeling of feeling wanted, of feeling seen.

My lips part a little, my lungs not getting enough oxygen through my nose, and as I glance from her eyes to her lips and back, I swear she’s leaning in too. My eyes flutter shut when I see her eyelashes fluttering too. Her breath tickles my lips. It’s almost—

Our lips brush slightly when the bell of the store rings through the entire shop. Emily and I both jump apart, startled, like deer caught in headlights. The redheaded Ash gives us a sheepish smile when she realizes what she’s interrupted.

“I’ve interrupted a special moment, haven’t I?” she hisses, “I’m so sorry!”

“No!” Emily says defensively, which makes me turn my head towards her to see what she has to be all defensive about. “No, you’re fine. Nothing was happening.” Oof, ouch. That hurts.

“Okay…” says Ash, clearly not believing a word Emily says. “I forgot my backpack in the back.” She points to the door behind the counter before actually moving to go and get it.

“You can go home, Charlie. I’ll lock up with Ash,” Emily orders sweetly, suddenly very absent and withdrawn. As if nothing just happened. Like she said.

“Don’t you want me to walk you home?” I suggest, hoping she’ll say yes.

“Uhm, no, that’s fine. I’ll ask Ash for a ride. Thanks though,” she gives me a smile that’s supposed to be comforting, but really isn’t.

“Okay…” I mumble and turn to grab my backpack and place the guitar in its place. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Please, say yes, please, say yes.

“Yeah. Yeah, definitely,” she replies, “I mean, you do have a lot of guitars left to polish.” She points at the wall of guitars, offering me a teasing smile this time. At least she’s not sick of me or doesn’t find it too awkward what just happened a couple seconds ago.

“Right, yeah!” I chuckle, “Yeah, see you tomorrow, Emily.” I raise my hand in a wave and leave the store, hearing her shout a “see you tomorrow, Charlie!” back.

I’ve got no clue what happened just then. But I wanted it to last longer. I wanted it to last forever.

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