#bc i can tell u it is not

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[snakeoid]

a neuvillette visual

[mint-fixates]

There's this weird take I've seen floating around on TikTok that Bill doesn't actually care about his family/dimension or Stanford at all; that we're supposed to take everything in TBOB as non-canon basically because he's lying to garner sympathy from reader to make a deal with them. I'm all for having your own interpretations of media, but I just don't think this idea that Bill is a completely heartless unfeeling creature is supported by canon at all. In fact, it kind of feels like the opposite of the point of the book.

Like, yeah, most things Bill says should be taken with a grain of salt because he lies a lot, but he's not actually a very good liar? It's usually pretty easy to clock when he's full of it. But okay, even if we assume every word Bill says while trying to recruit the reader is a lie, there are three major things that this doesn't account for.

Bill is not the only source in the book. The lost Journal 3 pages were written by Stanford, we only know about the interdimensional Taco Bell incident because of an included police transcript, etc.

Even once he's lost any chance of making a deal with the reader to escape, Bill is having a complete breakdown and mentions all the people he so totally doesn't miss for real you guys. Why bother with reverse psychology double-lying for sympathy once his shot at getting the reader on his side is already gone?

Trying to garner the reader's sympathy makes sense to a certain extent, but why go out of his way to make himself look pathetic? Does revealing that he got drunk and cried over his ex in a fast-food drive-through really help his cause if that cause is to convince the reader he's still a powerful being capable of starting the apocalypse again so they can rule with him?

And that's all without even mentioning that, as previously stated, I think the entire point of the book is missed if we're interpreting Bill as having no genuine feelings or attachments. The book ends with Stanford healing from his past by being open about what he went through with his family and accepting their help, while Bill insists he doesn't need anyone and refuses to heal, actively making himself worse in the process. The clear theme imo is that accepting your past and accepting help from people who love you is essential to healing, while denying those things just makes everything worse. If Bill doesn't actually care about his family, his dimension, Stanford, or anything/anyone else, he has no trauma to heal from or regrets to learn from that he's refusing to accept and deal with, and the entire meaning of the book is made moot.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

they tried to rebrand as The Criminals but riz is literally the city council's treasurer and also turns out people in their late 20s don't really name their friend groups. so now they're The Intrepid Heroes

[eriochromatic]

Agares, duke of hell

based on that demonology post noting the similarities between buggy and agares...he’s gonna crown luffy pirate king frfr

[soranker]

tomorrow :)

[choccy-milky]

modern AU seb and clora's first interaction 📘📗 (and by modern AU i actually mean super trope-filled high school romance set in the 80's/90's LOL)

[kitconnor]

@lgbtqcreators creator bingo ● layout

MARGOT ROBBIE'S 'BARBIE' PREMIERE LOOKS sources (x, x, x)

[scarylarry376]

Babe, stick to the board - Lian_mail - A Goofy Movie (Movies) [Archive of Our Own] PLS GO READ THIS IF U LIKE MAXLEY FICS CAUSE UGH its like my fav..

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

[galatariel]

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT 🪶 April 19 2024 — And so I enter into evidence my tarnished coat of arms my muses, acquired like bruises my talismans and charms. The tick, tick, tick of love bombs. My veins of pitch black ink.

[satoruhour]

SL*T HIM OUT !

a/n: sometimes it doesn’t hurt to be more of a freak than ur man is...! im sorry to the babies who voted 4 fluffy sugu. also not tagging bc this intro is alr so damn long 😭

warnings: soooo filthy, lots of dirty talk, freaky!reader, modern au!gojo, online voyeurism / exhibitonism. implied cockwarming, unprotected sex, creampie / breeding kink, light spanking (like once), gojo’s friends listen in, reader calls geto, m! masturbation (gojo), cult leader!geto, public sex (in front of his cult), clit stimulation, exhibitionism, power play (?), pussy slaps, squirting, unprotected sex, creampie / breeding kink (geto), exhibtiionism as well, oral (m receiving), handjob, semi-public sex (in a car), cum shot, implied creampie / breeding kink, cum eating, brief daddy kink @ the end (nanami), lie back oral (m receiving, basically an upside down bj lol), deep-throating, face-fucking, fingering, clit stimulation, spitting (in TOJI’s mouth!), cum eating (toji), n*sfw under the cut

✶ GOJO

gojo thought his best friend and him were truly nasty people, exchanging videos of fucking their sneaky links, lewd photos of his cock in some chick’s mouth and sharing hookups between themselves several times, but when gojo had gotten together with you, it’s like the only time he’s got one-upped by someone repeatedly.

you, with your bright, blinding smiles and kind disposition being such a filthy slut behind closed doors. gojo can hardly hold in his moans as he tries to focus on the game in front of him, but you decided that cockwarming was too much of a waiting game that you’re disobeying your boyfriend and moving your hips.

“f— fuck, angel, didn’t you p-promise?” he’s already felt your cunt clench around him too many times for him to be saying stupid shit like that and it’s clear he’s not even following his own rules when his hips jerk up from his gaming chair and into your dripping cunt. it’s leaking so much he’s sure he needs to change the covers of it, soaking his cock and balls that there’s a wet patch of your juices under him. 

“you’re moving too, though,” you click your tongue with a grin, not caring about his friends on the game with him as you bounce fully, now. “j-jus’ can’t resist my boyfriend’s fat cock, now, can i?” 

gojo swears lowly at the praise and by now his control over his character in the game is lost to pleasure, too intoxicated with how your cunt squelches around his length and his hands leave his controller to cup your ass. his hips are meeting yours in shorter, desperate thrusts.

“w— wanna call, suguru, baby?” you’re whining into his neck and you can feel the brief nod; he was never opposed to your whorish ways, hearing the receiver pick up almost immediately and geto’s face comes on his display: shocked, half hard already and bothered.

“stretchin’ this pussy out s’much— mmh—” you turn back momentarily to give geto on the video call a drunk smile and a wave, interrupted by gojo’s harsh smack on your ass and a loud moan falls from your lips when he snaps his hips into yours, stark blue eyes trained on your cockdrunk face.

“who’s making you feel this good, slut?”

a hand goes up to squeeze your cheeks together and in gojo’s peripheral vision he can already see geto stroking his cock. his friends are probably disgusting too, muting their mics and jerking off, but a dirty girl like you loves it, don’t you?

“y— you are, ’toru— shit!” sat on gojo’s cock for too long makes you like this: crazed, filthy, and mixed in with geto’s impatient hand on his cock and gojo’s words in your ear? it’s not difficult to cum with “yes, yes, yes”’s leaving your lips, back arching into gojo’s hand as he fucks you like a fleshlight, sloppy thrusts hitting you deeper and deeper in you, you swear you see heaven with tears lining the corner of your eyes when gojo shoots his long awaited cum right into your puffy pussy and gojo’s head dig hards unto his headrest.

but gojo knows you aren’t done, moaning softly into his ears for you to turn him over and ways showing suguru what he can’t have.

“look at how much i’ve bred my pretty girl, suguru,” geto’s eyes stay locked as his best friend tugs his cock out of you, cum spurting out in loads and staining your pussy white that it’s got him reaching his climax with a choked groan, hands squeezing ribbon after ribbon of cum out of his cock and you watch, entranced. gojo swears he feels you clench and he grins. “maybe one day you’ll see your cum seeping out of her, heh.” 

✶ GETO

geto never liked humans — he’s made that much clear when he turned his back on jujutsu high and committed to his cause — but sometimes when pussy’s just too good, he can’t help but fuck it once in a while, or in this case, every day since you loved it.

“this— f-fuck—” geto’s slamming into you from behind, both hands wrapped around your biceps so hard it might as well make marks, but you hardly care when it holds you up so well as you take his throbbing cock repeatedly. your body’s limp, letting him use you in front of his cult.

“this— is how you breed— a cute little human—” suguru struggles to speak through his thrusts, hardly focused on his followers watching with gaping mouths and possibly tents in their pants. gross men, they were, but he doesn’t give one fuck knowing he’s the only one to have your pussy every single time. geto stays hypnotised by your dripping cunt sucking him in, clenching just as you lock eyes with one of his followers. “you could be getting treatment like this but—”

“g-geto-sama— harder, harder!” you whine when he yanks you up and hooks a hand under your knee. it drives him deeper into you easily, large cock reaching all the spots in you that you can feel your knee buckling. don’t worry, geto’s got you perfectly, but he smiles when you’re spreading your legs more.

“but you’re too busy being shitty fucking monkeys.” geto swears into your neck, robes removed hastily so he could have all of you and he switches positions again and carries you with both legs over his arms, shutting your pleas up for his cock by pulling your back against his chest and shoving him back into you from behind with a bit of your help.

you’re spread out like a buffet so nicely now, feet dangling lifelessly like a doll as his hips piston up into you from below and your praise falls from your mind for a moment. “suguru— s’deep, gimme more, please—!”

he doesn’t mind when you’re more than his worshipper in his quarters at night, muttering out a soft yeah? just for you to hear, fingers slapping your clit roughly and you’re jerking roughly, tongue lolling out and eyes rolled to the back of your head. it’s so hot, and suguru’s so strong, holding you up like this.

“this is how real men fuck,” geto declares as dramatically as always, continuing to land smacks on your pussy before you’re tensing up and your head falls on his shoulder, squealing. 

“cumming— sugu! g’nna cum— haah…” geto simply laughs when your body fully surrenders to him and you’re squirting all over the floor, juices littering the tatami mats and onto some of the faces of the followers, convulsing so much around his cock that he’s cumming soon after you, pumping you full just like the many times he’s done to you privately.

you feel him twitch in you and you don’t mind the drool leaving everyone’s mouths at that point, planting a sloppy kiss on his lips as you hear his praise against your lips — “that’s a good whore, taking all my cum like an obedient cum dump.” 

✶ NANAMI

nanami wasn’t aware of your high sex drive when you first dated — so when you’re dragging him past the higher-ups and the many sorcerers into some random limousine and slamming him against the door, he’s pleasantly surprised, although not too pleased at gojo shouting into the open air how yeaaahh! nanami’s getting some toniiighht!

sure, he might’ve been a little held back — he was never one for anything public, but feeling your hand tugging on his to rest between your legs and how your might not have worn underwear tonight, he was thinking he might need to do something about it.

but nanami is usually too afraid, so he willingly lets you pull him instead into one of the random limos outside the fancy gala venue. at this point there’s too many sorcerers at the event that he isn’t even sure who the driver escorted here, but it turns out to be one of tokyo’s, unknown of your current need to have nanami down your throat and up your pussy.

nanami’s cheeks burn when the driver recognises his voice.

“ah! nanami-san, back to jujutsu high?”

all the while, you’re yanking at his pants and pulling st his underwear, him torn between letting you do what you want and having some decorum in front of a junior. but you’re whispering against his half-hard cock, pressing light kisses on his leaking tip that maybe it isn’t so bad succumbing to you sometimes.

“needed your cock since i saw you in this suit, kento— mmfgh—” you’re quick to descend on his dick, not caring if he was still hardening. that was your favourite part, feeling him stretch to his full size while still in your mouth, words a mere whisper that you’re grinning at the possibility of getting caught.

“shit—” nanami groans softly when you bob your head, thankful the partition was slid close and all cars for sorcerers are usually muffled pretty well for confidentiality (gojo requested it, god knows why) — because from here he can hear you slobber over him unforgivingly and noisily, not caring about consequences one bit.

“angel, you gotta be quieter… fuckkk…” you lick a long stripe up his cock, his ears picking up on the way you play with yourself under your dress and nanami scoffs at how much audacity you had, pulling you off immediately and pushing you into the seats.

though, nanami’s streak of confidence is lost once he feels his tip prod at your hole. he can feel you squeeze around him so tightly that you take over, collecting your slick easily by drawing his cockhead along your folds. it’s so disgusting and hot, hearing the slick squelch around before you’re pushing him into you and you’re letting out a drawn out moan.

“kentooo…”

“nanami-san? everything okay?”

you giggle softly, shouting across to the driver, “everything’s well, tsugimo-san!”

“ahh— (y/n)-san, i was unaware you were here too—” hips push back on his cock and nanami bites his lip so hard he tastes copper. you’re so wet you get right in, buried right up to the hilt, hissing softly at the way your ass ripples against him, “boring party huh?”

you laugh, “soooo boring,” it’s disguised as a whine, moving your lower body back on nanami and it’s a wonder he’s able to stay so still in the vehicle — while he’s gotta praise tsugimo for driving so steadily, he thinks it’s because of his fear of getting caught that makes him so still and rigid.

the thrill is unlike any other, though, so he takes the chance, hooking both hands under your neck and pulling.

“sorry to hear that, (y/n)-san! well, rest up back there.” oh, poor tsugimo had no idea you were getting your guts arranged by your lover, head tipped back all the way while your back arches and your moans are shamelessly loud. nanami bullies his cock into you, too in love with your tight, pretty cunt as he tries to keep his grunts to a low.

“c’mon, c’mon, c’mon,” nanami rasps despite the loud pap! pap! pap! of his balls that’s he’s convinced he’s going to get a warning letter tomorrow but at least he’ll have this memory to jerk off to next time: your sweet cunt gushing around him, arousal giving away the racy things you were doing. he can feel his approaching high, the twitching of his cock obvious enough that you notice too until you’re forcing yourself off of him. nanami’s a little disappointed in not being able to paint your insides white but—

you’re skilfull (and excited) by the way you’re manoeuvring yourself onto the carpeted floor of the limo, pushing nanami that he falls back onto the leather seats and both hands wrap around his throbbing cock.

“give me all your cum, kento,” you mumble, the two hands pumping him hastily straight up offensive as you fill the car with the slickest noises. tongue outstretched and your warm, soft hands moving at a steady pace has nanami cumming with a muffled groan and jolting hips, angry tip spurting so much semen into your mouth. your arms never stop, milking him dry as you suckle on his cockhead, slurping up the cum that threatens to spill out.

“mmhh— s’much…” it has your lover panting, watching you smother his seed along the bottom half of your face messily and he thinks maybe, maybe, this could be his second favourite place to cum on.

“...cum. need some more, daddy.”

✶ TOJI

toji chuckles when you beg with another flutter of your eyelashes, simply leaving a soft peck on your lips and he drags you gently — a entire 180 from how how he’s got you on your back now, getting your pulse up from how his cock is past your face and reaches your throat.

“ya sure you want this, baby?”

you roll your eyes, tugging on him and making him let out a soft groan, letting you have your way as you stroke him needily. you’ve been wanting to have him down your throat while on your back for the longest time, wanting to feel that uncomfortable stretch of your jaw and getting his cockhead as deep as you could into your mouth—

you’re already doing your own thing, swirling your tongue around toji’s tip and playing with his balls, before you feel the other pump himself, spitting on his palm to get it wet just a little before easing himself into your throat. the stretch is delicious with how big toji is, seeing himself bulge in your throat by how deep you were taking him.

“oh— s-shit, that’s it. mouth so fuckin’ warm—” you moan around his cock, mouth stuffed full and hands kneading at his thighs that he takes it as the green light to go. it’s slow, at first; he’s afraid to hurt you and yet you’re humming around him, gargling on his dick so dirtily that he can’t help but thrust.

it’s a hundred times better than you going down on him normally, letting him fuck your mouth upside down. toji smiles when you guide his hand to your clit with no problem and as he leans forward he reaches the hilt in you. you whimper around him, the smile spreading into a sick grin as he rubs lazy circles upon your clit.

“m’slutty girl needs it that badly, hm?” toji accentuates each word with slaps against your pussy, already so wet from being in such a provocative position and having your boyfriend’s shaft in your mouth — toji laughs when he inserts his fingers and your hips buck up, while his never falters; he’s always been the best at masking how he felt.

toji moans at the way you gurgle on his cock, slipping out momentarily to let you breathe. it’s nice seeing you so slutted out, drool dripping down your face paired with a grin. you spit on him from below, stroking his cock for a bit before he’s back in your mouth. you clamp down on his fingers when he starts to set an relentless pace, slamming into your mouth while needy moans send vibrations up his body.

“takin’ me like a good lil girl, aren’t ya?” toji swears lowly at the way his fingers disappear into you, both holes of yours filled to the brim. “g’nna cum, doll.”

your forearms close around his thighs, head falling off the edge of the bed as you hollow your cheeks even more and breathe through your nose. his hips are turning sloppy and loose now, losing its pace altogether as he ruts into your warmth.

“take my load down your throat, baby— f-fuck—” it’s abrupt when toji cums, thighs pulled taut under your hands and his hips still. his fingers also lose control, hand cupping your cunt instead as ribbons of his cum flood your throat. you’re swallowing part of it, popping his cock out of your mouth and turning over onto your knees.

the sheer size of toji always excites you, towering over you but you ignore the throb of your pussy to shove your lips onto his, making him taste himself — it’s spit everywhere, leaking from the corners of your mouths and when you pull away there’s a string of saliva connecting the both of you.

you simply thumb his bottom lip, the familiar scar running against the pad of your thumb and toji only slyly smiles, opening his mouth willingly. he’d never let anyone do this, but you gather a glob of saliva and spit it into his mouth, a mixture of cum and drool and toji just fucking loves how lewd you are.

“thanks, mama,” toji lands a playful slap on your ass and you giggle, “doin’ so well, always.”

[maalidoesart]

angel with a trenchcoat

[cockyhorror]

[lotus-pear]

old dazai lighting practice i found in my drafts that i have no intention of finishing so u guys can have it