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donnyclaws · 1 year

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Are Abraham and Mauren on good terms when she and Roswell move into the city? Does Abraham know Damian is dating his son?

It's complicated! Esp bc this story is like in a constant flux of being written and rewritten and tweaked over and over. Basically Mauren and Abraham's relationship was very much for the convenience of it all, he needed to marry bc it's an expectation of the kingdom he's from. He had too many siblings for him to ever be a proper king or anything so the most he was used for was as a kinda marriage tool or kid maker tool to make deals with other kingdoms. Said kingdom also puts a lot of stock into male and female Roles in marriage so romance is never really a necessity, someone just needs to play the male role, the female role and somehow they need to be able to have kids, any "oddities" within that are to be kept private ect. I think I ended up calling it the Sycamore kingdom but again we're working on it, I would like to find an alternate to a kingdom structure for these. Either way it's directly related to the rose church, Victor's kingdom (the one Roswell ended up being married into), the thorn church and the cult which all hold the same belief on gender performance.

Abraham also couldn't be more obviously a closeted gay man, deeply repressed. Mauren wanted a better life and marrying into a kingdom could offer that, they happened to be on neutral terms so it just worked out as a marriage, in the job sense of the word. Erm anyway she loves Roswell, Abraham was a wildly absent father, he was also fixated on getting approval from the high daemon and from humans bc the church he's from also prioritizes minimizing being a demon as much as possible. dude's got 500 complexes. He leaves the kingdom when Roswell's like. an older teen, probably. Bc he had a big awful breakdown and declawed + detailed himself and since that him and Mauren haven't had contact.

Also rewriting how and why he ends up at the city and in a power position but it's kind of just like. He was aimless, he has only ever been raised to be in power positions and after the breakdown and having a couple stints pretending to be a preacher in a human church, he just kinda resigns back into a familiar job ect. Most of his character is him being very detached to his emotions and roles, only interrupted by those occasional breakdowns where his displeasure towards himself and demons and the effects of the church really come to a head. But yknow instead of dealing with those in a healthy way like other characters in the story who come from similar places do, the frequency of those breakdowns just kinda escalates and he gets more violent right.

When Mauren and Roswell get to the city it's crazy tense, Abraham is clearly different but he was always very distant feeling and he would have little to no reaction to seeing them again. He can't really comment on Roswell abandoning his role after all, he also can't comment on Roswell being gay because that was already known, it was part of the marriage bargain since there weren't other options for Victor in terms of political marriage. That being said, he cannot stand Damian lmao. It's pretty much the embodiement of everything he fundamentally despises about demons and is further enraged that they have killed a High Daemon before (Victor). I've said it before but Damian is consistently pinned as marked by the third god by the church Abraham is related to, they're very beastly and that's a particular trait these church demons really really want to get away from. Mainly bc the alienation in this story is based on if your species has a God source, every species that is particularly put down is one without a clear source, so their existence is constantly questioned, Demons are the clearest example of it, they're seen as without identity, seen as animalistic shapeshifters. The church demons Basically are in a state of trying to be as human as possible. High Daemon are another thing bc they're godsent but most Church Demons aren't trying to emulate that. It's also one of those things where the church demons, and Particularly Abraham, are aware that they are also doomed in a sense, so they do live in a state of self destruction, crushing others and justifying it as if it'll save them. It's not something Mauren would agree with anymore, or something Roswell ever did. Him leaving took a lot and he tried very hard to bring Mauren out with him because she's the type to be like. Well it could have been worse, I should just be grateful for the amount I have and not really wanting for better. yknow.

Idk when Damian and Roswell really start getting close or anything but I think by that point Abraham barely registers he has a son and he cannot stand Damian so they're both going to be off his radar for the most part.

#sorry i cant actually answer a direct question without backtracking to explain the context LMAO #see i would really like to come up with an alternate for the kingdom stuff bc it's like.#very much a holdover of the most typical story roots this started with #and i'd love to figure out something more unique and interesting to my brain than just #another fantasy esque setting with monarchs yknow yknow #oh fucking #i can litearlly jsut have the churches be in charge DUH #lmao #me forgetting i could just make the churches take the place of kingdoms bc the churches and like #religious conflict is one of the biggest story themes hellooooo me when im dumb

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jemmo · 2 years

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the bedroom pas de deux // ep 11

i kinda dropped my whole comparison of the romeo and juliet ballet to bad buddy bc i dont have a full version of the ballet to watch and bc i was wallowing in my emotions so much that it was kinda above my mental capacity. but there had always been another pas de deux thats available on the royal opera house youtube channel that i was waiting and waiting to do a comparison for, that being the bedroom pas de deux. and i was waiting bc i wasn’t even sure if there was gonna be a good point for comparison in bad buddy. the bedroom pas de deux is the last time romeo and juliet see each other, before all hell breaks loose and murders happen and you know the rest. this is their final and most intimate moment together, and i wasn’t sure where the plot of bad buddy was headed so i wasn’t sure if we’d get something akin to this.

but i should’ve known better. p’aof is clearly sticking to his shakespearian parallels, and as soon as pat said ‘lets get away from here’ i had a suspicion that finally the episode to mirror the bedroom pas de deux was upon us, and by god i was right.

first off, we have to talk about the title, the bedroom pas de deux. we all know what goes down in ep 11 3/4 so there’s obvious parallels there that link these points in their respective stories. just as a side note, i find this interesting going forward for predictions as a lot happens after this in romeo and juliet, a lot a lot of drama, but we only have 1 ep left for bad buddy. obviously bad buddy isn’t a direct retelling and points that parallel have been out of order and inconsistent so far in my reading of a comparison, but hey its worth pointing out and thinking about in these long says wait. anyway, these scenes both in the ballet and the show are about the characters being intimate sexually and that after glow that follows. in romeo and juliet, this is more by the book, as in they’ve gotten married in secret and are making love for the first time, and with the youth and innocence of the characters there’s that classic air of the ‘loss of virginity’. as bad buddy is more modern, this has less of a focus. first off, its not said definitely either way whether pat and pran have been intimate prior to this or not, in any capacity, and that brings in the argument of what is virginity and when is it lost, through what acts??

but thats me getting side tracked; what i want to mention more so is all the marriage talk thats been happening over the past 2 eps. we get a mock proposal on the stairs and then the words are dropped again and again through ep 10. its as if, by playing with the idea, they go through the motions of a marriage, but obviously this discussion is something that has to stay fictional and fantastical due to the legality of gay marriage. we get some branching from the classic narrative as pat and pran’s parents find out, whereas romeo and juliet’s families never find out about their relationship, but then we’re back to a honeymoon phase. and while romeo and juliet can only have that one night of intimacy and the morning after as their honeymoon, this gets extended for pat and pran through their temporary escape. and i like this bc, compared to the original narrative, which is very much a stolen moment of passion, with lower stakes as they don’t know what is ahead and have no plans to part, pat and pran are dealing with a lot more. they’ve come here in the aftermath of a fallout, and with the looming and ever-growing threat of separation. its all there, in the front of their minds, and so they need more time, they need an actual honeymoon that extends beyond an evening of intimacy and a stolen morning before parting. and thats why, for this pas de deux, you can make more direct parallels to the morning after scenes in bad buddy, but also more generally see this pas de deux as the episode as a whole, bc both are the extent of the honeymoon they get, and therefore share similar emotions.

now comes the bit where i talk about the dancing even though i have no clue what i’m talking about but here i go.

(here’s the video of the pas de deux btw)

the world spins

what i first registered upon watching this pas de deux with fresh eyes was that there’s a lot of spinning. a lot. a lot of the partner work is spins, moves are entered into with spins, lifts are spins. and i think this very well reflects this moment of loss and confusion for pat and pran, the fact that the world seems to be spinning too fast, things are happening too quickly and they can’t keep up, and all they want is a moment of respite, which they find in each other. i’ve picked out some of my favourite spin moments here.

this one i love for its changes in direction, how the spin starts facing away before juliet spins in to face romeo, then spins away to look outwards before spinning back in to be lifted in romeo’s embrace. you can follow how the directions represent that exact push and pull between what they want, being together, and what the world wants, for them to be apart. and way they spin into each other and back out and then in again is also matched in their eyeline, looking at each other, then looking out into the world, and then in the lift there’s almost this merging of the two. juliet looks up into the sky, but to look up she has to look at romeo too, and similarly romeo looks up while also glancing at juliet. its as though the final lift is a wish for the world they’re looking out to to have each other in it. they spin lost in despair and confusion and look to the sky praying it will provide some kind of hope that out there somewhere is a world with the other in it, that its not one or the other. and yet at the same, that wish is also an acknowledgement of the facts, something that pat very much had to go through this ep. by wishing for a future with pran in it, pats also admitting that the future he knows is coming doesnt have pran. thats why when asked what he wants to do after graduation he says take over the family business. he’s known all along, its always been in the back of his mind that this cant be serious, its a pipe dream to try and commit to this. and so he sees pran and he sees the world and he looks to the sky thinking why cant it be simple? how can the two exist at the same time and yet seem to repel each other like oil and water? and when the push and pull is over, where are they gonna end up? when the world stops spinning, where will they land?

this spin i love for how erratic it is. i talked in previous comparisons to the ballet about the bourrée, and about how a bourrée backwards is a motif for juliet throughout the ballet, showing both her obedience and rejection of the expectations put on her by her family. and i find it so interesting here that we get a hint of that bourrée. its the only time we see it in the pas de deux, and its such a fleeting moment that you almost miss it, but those small movements of the feet are there. but here they’re much slower, and they’re moving forward. juliet’s bourrée is most predominantly backwards, her running away from both paris, bc she doesn’t want to be with him, doesn’t want the life set out for her by her parents, and from romeo, bc she subconciously knows that she should distance herself, they shouldnt be together. the forward movement here also speaks of subconcious control which very much fits pran, this time the messages his parents have drilled into her telling him to run away, move forward, go to them, some nebulous space off stage where pat isn’t. he starts running away from pat but slows into this bourrée that speaks of his weak and defeated retreat to what he’s been told is right, only for pat to grip his shoulders and send him spinning into his arms. its a spin of such speed that speaks of how completely dizzy pran feels, how things have been turned upside down, how him rejecting familial expectations has sent him spiralling down an unknown path. but the path ultimately leads to pat, he catches him in his arms and rights him on his own two feet, grounding him in that moment, telling him it might feel like the world is spinning, but i’ll hold onto you, i’ll control the chaos as much as i can. so much may be uncertain, but us in this moment is still and calm and true, and that helps the dizziness fade.

this final moment is just one of my faves in the pas de deux, and i put it here bc of how it contrasts the speed and chaos of the spins above and many of the spins we see in the piece. its a repeated move thats almost like romeo teaching juliet how to walk again, and i see this very much in pat and pran’s escape, where pran has just broken into a million pieces on the rooftop and by getting away, pat is finding away to put those pieces back together, bringing life back into pran when he thought he’d lost it all, showing pran that when he reaches the end of his tether, he can still put one foot in front of the other and move forward. and the spin is slower and simple, just a single turn that says the world turns on its axis just like i keep on living, an inevitability of life. and when you cant take it anymore, wish it would all stop, i’ll be there to slow the turn of the earth, hold you and keep you steady and guide you forward.

the weight of the world

there is also a motif of exhaustion in the piece, which we see through moments where juliet becomes deadweight in romeo’s arms, very reflective of pran’s exhaustion after breaking down and admitting he cant cope with it all anymore. he is well and truly at his breaking point, and in these moments, if it wasn’t for pat holding him, keeping him upright, he’d break down.

but these moments also speak of trust, again something we see when pran falls apart in pat’s arms. there’s trust there that pat will hold him, he trusts him enough to be this open and exposed around him, let his emotions be that raw and trusts that pat will handle them with care, handle him with care, not let him fall. its reflected in the movement, the way that juliet lets all strength leave her body, lets herself become truly weak, so that only romeo’s arm around her waist keeps her up. bc its only by letting go so fully that you can truly feel the strength of the other person holding you up. its when you’re at your weakest that you are hit with the the indisputable proof of just how strong someone can be for you. you let everything go and yet a single arm can keep you from falling. in the same way, by breaking down so fully, pran gets to see the simplicity in how pat takes care of him. and for pat, he’s not at his strongest in that moment either, he’s breaking down too. but by offering a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, an arm to keep pran upright, he can keep him from breaking even when he’s threatening to break himself. he doesn’t need to keep himself composed, bc the simplest of gestures can offer all the solace pran needs. it’s just an arm, and yet it keeps the both of them upright, and together.

i especially love the progression of this move. the united hands held together in the air is a repetition of the move before, and speaks of how in the midst of loss and confusion, they gravitate towards and can ground themselves in each other. they are the thing tethering each other to the moment, even when thinks spin out of control, even as exhaustion creeps in, even when they feel lethargic and weak, its that uniting action at the start that gives them the trust in each other to fall apart in the others arms.

this final example i find especially poignant, bc i think its reflective of a trend in pat and pran’s story whereby when they’re at their highest, they fall down to their lowest. we’ve seen it time and time again; the christmas concert, the curtain falling, running into pat’s dad. all these moments where they were at their happiest being brought crashing down. you can see it here with romeo lifting juliet, bc the lift makes it so juliet is faced with the world, she looks out. oftentimes its when pat and pran reach the heights of their happiness that they are most brutally faced with the reality of the world, so when romeo lifts juliet with strength and joy, only for her to be faced with the harsh truths of the world, thats what causes her to break, and she tumbles back down into romeo’s arms as deadweight, as if in that moment truly defeated by the world she saw. pat and pran have had these experiences before. its in the small moments, like when they talk about wanting to eat hotpot together. its said in a moment of happiness, and its born from wanting joy, but it brings to light everything they can’t have and just like that the moment dissolves into cruel pain.

i say all this bc i think the best example of this we get in ep 11. pat is dreaming of a life they could forge here, he’s trying to make it happen, he’s trying to lift pran into that world where they can be together. but when pran sees it, all he can see is whats not there, namely his family, and the difficulties of the situation. thats just pran, he was born a dreamer and forced to be a realist. and seeing all the harshness of it, being lifted into pat’s world of dreams but only seeing impossibility, it defeats him. he cant live in that world, and then pat has to see pran’s lifeless body and know that’s what he could become if he tried to pursue that life. pran has his own wants and dreams and he shouldn’t have to sacrifice them for their relationship to work, hence why they ultimately go home, bc pat sees that pran wants more, and staying there would only limit him, and he doesnt want that. doesnt want to see the life and glow of aspiration slowly leave pran as he lives their simple life. pran has had to sacrifice too much to sacrifice his dreams too, and pat doesn’t want him do that for him.

mirror images

throughout the piece, which predominantly has a lot of flow and and ease, are moments of rigidness, where the dancers pose stiffly in position. this is very likely me reaching, but i love how these moments tell a small story, namely the story of pat and pran coming to terms that separation is nigh, and that they must trust that the other has the strength to stand alone so that they can be united once again.

in this first pose, both romeo and juliet are reaching forward, each of their arms mirroring the others. this makes me think of pat saying ‘you fight alongside me’, bc here they are together, reaching towards the same thing, wanting the same world, one where they are together, bodies matched in their pursuit of that future. and also note that they are reaching forward, very much trying to go on, move on from the past that has subjected them to so much hurt. this is very much like the start of the ep where they’re united in their want for escape, they’re on the same page at this point, that page being we need to get away.

the second time we see this posture, its romeo leaning juliet into position. here, its not about them being together, its about romeo seeing that juliet can hold her own. it makes me think of all the times in the episode where pat is just looking at pran without him knowing, looking at pran looking wistfully at the guitar, looking at pran walking towards the dinner table and cherishing the moment of them being able to simply exist together, looking at pran as he looks out to the ocean and thinks of his mom and sees that he’s worrying about her. pat is continually trying to gauge where pran is at, how he’s coping, how he’s feeling, what’s on his mind. and here, romeo looks at juliet assuming this position and sees that she can do it, she can hold her own, she is strong enough. bc this episode was all about pat and pran reaffirming their relationship and strengthening it so that it can withstand whatever will come. so when romeo places juliet like this, its him seeing that she doesnt need all his strength to be in that position. pran has enough fight in him now, he doesn’t need pat to fight for them alone, he can do it too, he can hold his own. just hold him there and he’ll still be reaching forward, still trying to pursue that future where they’re together. even when he’s alone, he’ll still be reaching for it.

but then we get this reversal of the first pose, where romeo is still reaching forward, but juliet is reaching behind. bc this is where they get to, a point where they are at odds, a point where pat is still very much trying to pursue that dream life of him and pran, together, in peace, and happy. but pran feels himself being pulled back, hears the voices niggling in his head telling him he has to go home, it wont work, they cant do that. he cant sacrifice his whole life that fully, and even if he shouldnt, he still cares. still cares for his parents, worries about them, loves them. the familial bond is pulling him back while pat is pushing forward, and that is where the dream starts to break, bc they aren’t dreaming together anymore. pat is up in the clouds while pran has fallen back to reality, and they cant stay isolated in those worlds without the other. they need to decide, forwards or backwards, where are they going, bc they have to go together.

and we see that togetherness in this final move where they match each other, romeo placing juliets foot in front of his and juliet moving her other to mirror his stance. it speaks of both pat and pran reaching a point together, both meeting each other to be united. its not pat forcing pran to match him or vice versa, its them matching one another, assuming the same position through both their efforts. its not one sacrificing and the other not, its them both sacrificing something to be in this fight together. and then romeo reaches to the sky, bc he still feels the pull of that faraway dream, but juliet pulls his arm down into an embrace, as if to say ‘dont dream of the future when its not certain. dont wish for a world we cant have. just hold me now, in this moment, let us be together and treasure it. let us live in this perfect present before its lost’. thats what we see on pat and pran’s final night, them coming to accept whats ahead, but saying this final night shall be ours, and we will live it without sadness or fear or bitterness. we will not regret wasting time on dreaming, bc this moment with you is a dream. no more reaching, no more wishing, no more strength, just us and now, thats enough.

the world creeps in

i did a watch of this pas de deux just following romeo’s eyeline, and i found it fascinating. bc its always on juliet. he is constantly looking at her, or when he cant, looking in the direction she is. and this is so pat. pran is at the centre of his world and he just cant take his eyes off him, cant pull himself away, cant see anything past him. and after everything thats happened, all the external forces creeping in, he wants a world that is just pran, nothing else. he wants a world where he can just look at the man he loves and pretend nothing else exists. and thats what he starts out doing, he focuses on pran. he’s seen him break down and keeps himself so attuned to him so he knows how hes doing, if he’s ok, if he is feeling better. there’s so much shit going on but pran is and will always be his number one priority. but the more he looks at pran, the more he sees pran looking out, conscious of the world, and it makes it harder and harder for him to ignore it. when he sees pran thinking about all this stuff, it becomes more impossible for him not to think about it too. and thats when we get this moment.

romeo’s eyeline - on juliet until moment where they open up to and face the world and then becomes more conscious of environment (whereas juliet more constantly conscious)

its very much a turning point. they spin and look out to the world and open up, offer themselves to it, bare their souls, say this is what we are. we see you world, we know the reality of whats out there, but what more can we do than give ourselves to you, together and united in the honesty of our relationship. they face a cruel world, they see it and admit what it is, and it terrifies them, makes them recoil, turn to each other for comfort, bc its too hard to face. i love this moment, bc unlike a lot of male ballet, this pas de deux doesnt really contain any what i call ‘presentation moments’ for romeo, where he’s showing off to the audience. there’s only this. and it creates such an intimate mood for the whole piece, which is why this move feels so alien. it contributes to that expectation people have of pat and pran to present, to act, to play their roles. to be the perfect dancers, but all they want is to hold each other. they dont want to play that part, they just want each other. and this is not a dance for us, for the outside world, its a dance for them, a chance to be together.

and after this, romeo has a lot more moments where he too is looking outwards, away from juliet, by himself. he feels the world creeping in, he can no longer ignore it. reality is approaching, and he feels time slipping away, knows how much he must treasure now bc tomorrow is looming ever closer. he too has moments where he runs away, he too has moments where he looks out at the unfair world in defeat, pat tried to stay strong and positive for pran, but he slowly cracks, we see the veneer of hope fade as he too faces reality. we see him cry more, we see him pursuing comfort from pran. he’s slowly falling back to earth, where the world cant be just pran, and he has to find a way to deal with that.

a promise

i love this final move. if you wont watch the whole thing or if you dont care about any of this shit, at least appreciate this final move. its beautiful, and is the perfect physical metaphor for what pat and pran are going through. its repeated twice. juliet crumbles to the floor weak and defeated, but romeo lifts her and rights her on her foot, just like pran falls apart in pats arms and pat grounds him, holds him at his weakest and coaxes him back to life, shows him how to stand tall and strong again. and then theres this move of strength where they push away from each other. this is pat and pran having to be strong in their separation, having to push against the gravity that pulls them together with all their strength, stretch as far apart as their bodies will let them. bc they may be apart, but there’s still a point of contact in the hands. it may not be physical for pat and pran, but they will always be holding onto each other, and that will always bring them strength when they’re apart. and its through that strength, that push, that opposition of what drags them together, that when the time is right, they can let go, they can release hands, stop holding on, not have to be strong anymore. and they will fall back together. the gravity will pull them together again. they will fall into each others arms as they were always predestined to. when juliet lets go and lets herself fall, romeo will be there to catch her. and when pran doesn’t have to pull away anymore, he can be caught by pat like its second nature, like thats where he’s always belonged, bc it was inevitable that no matter how long it took, thats where they were always going to end up.

and i love that they repeat it. its like first they’re testing if this will work, if this way forward will lead to the future they want. then they do it again, reaffirm that they can do this, they have the strength to part. and the final time, right at the end of the piece, you see romeo right juliet on her foot. and instead of before, where she fell into his arms, as if to say not yet, i cant do it yet, im not ready to leave you, this time, she looks at romeo in position, shaking her head as if to say no, i dont think i can, i cant leave, this isnt right, this isnt what i want, but she ultimately leaves. romeo lets go, and for a moment she is suspended on pointe, feeling the absolute emptiness and unbalance of not being held, and yet she stays upright, she can hold it, she can do it, and so she leaves. i love this so so much. i love that subtle shake of the head that says i dont want to go. its the exact mood of pat and pran standing outside of their houses, knowing what they have to do, having decided the way ahead, and still thinking no, i dont want it. its like theyve gone over and over the moment in their heads, but stood there, apart, the future waiting for them inside, it kinda breaks them that theyve ran and ran until they cant run anymore. there’s nowhere else to turn to. all they can do is face it. and they hate it, but they leave. and the pas de deux, the honeymoon, ends.

if you’ve got to the end of this, congrats. i dont know is this makes any sense i feel like an emotional sponge getting rung dry at this point. i just wanted to ramble, but words have been escaping me this week, so i needed to channel my feeling somehow, and this framing of the ballet has just helped me get something out, even if its messy and incoherent. but yeah tl;dr is this pas de deux is ep 11 and its beautiful and im emo. enjoy.

#bad buddy #bad buddy series #wow ive been typing random bits of this across 3 days #can you tell im struggling to process???#but i had to get something out so here #its been honestly hard for me to rant about the ep just as it is bc i get 5 words in and start crying #so its a shock i could do all this through my tears #but yes my head is still a mess and i feel like an emotional fuse that has just burst #im not sure i could even find the right words to explain how im feeling #its a lot #and i just wanna kinda ride it out to the end now #i just wanna treasure being in this period still #no matter what it holds or how it makes me feel #i just really wanna treasure it #bc i know ill never be here again #and its so special #and i just wanna love it for every second i can #man jess stop crying in the tags #youre talking about ballet get a grip #ugh #made by jemmo

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im-the-punk-who · 4 years

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Hey so you may have talked about this before but what do you think James' romantic/sexual history had been like before he met the Hamiltons?

THIS IS SUCH A FUN QUESTION TO THINK ABOUT

So standard preface these opinions are my own and aren’t meant to represent fandom as a whole or disprove anyone else’s headcanons BUT

I think that James is aware he’s attracted to men before he meets the Hamiltons(and, relevant, I read James as like a 4-5 on the Kinsey scale - mostly attracted to men but also genuinely attracted to women, just less often and usually, less intensely or with more boxes to tick.) I also think he’s pretty much shoved that knowledge to the wayside and focused on his career - if he can convince himself he’s just more focused on being the best version of a naval officer he can be, then there’s no need to examine why he’s not particularly interested in women, and maybe he can even convince himself that the attraction he feels to super buff sailors or really competent officers is purely work-related admiration.

(And I think we see echoes of this when he becomes Flint - he’s not exactly sexless but he’s pushed pleasure to the side for the sake of his goals. and obviously angst, but the goals help.)

Also, given the fact that he’s of relatively low birth, it wouldn’t be unusual for him to make the excuse of working up the ranks before trying to find a ‘suitable wife’.

I also think it doesn’t really matter to him who he’s attracted to, because he’s p much planning to just like, throw his personal feelings to the side and marry a woman eventually and just like....Live That Life y’know. I think he’s buried, not the knowledge of his attraction, but the idea that he can or should do anything about it because honestly, where would that lead him.

But, I think he also has the requisite flings with women - and maybe one or two that he actually does enjoy being with. On occasion he might visit the whore houses - although he’s mostly known by the others as rather a stick in the mud when it comes to nights out on the town. They attribute this to him trying to rise above his station, and James doesn’t do anything to dissuade that notion.

When they’re out to sea he lets himself indulge a bit - not more or less than any of the other men but exactly just as much. It’s calculated, how much he lets himself be with men in these scenarios - he can neither let the others think he enjoys it, nor think he’s avoiding getting off with men lest anyone start to look too closely at that.

And I think, regardless of what he actually enjoys, in these scenarios he tries to always be the - hm i prefer using the term wolf to top because it’s a more accurate connotation, but basically, the one fucking/getting his dick sucked rather than the less dominant partner.

I think what Miranda says is absolutely true.

I think you’re someone who’s very good at managing how you’re perceived.

But before the Hamiltons he’s never been the kind to chase high-class skirts, and certainly not to have an actual emotional relationship with a man. Not that I don’t think he’s HAD those feelings - or maybe even acknowledged them to himself, but I don’t see him acting on them except in scenarios where he could have plausible deniability. And I think that is part of why Hennessey chooses him to be assigned to the Hamiltons, aside from his personal feelings about James.

Hennessey must have known the rumors about Miranda - and would have figured another officer likely to try to begin a relationship with her immediately(I mean....have u seen her) and potentially fuck up the whole deal by pissing off either Thomas or Alfred himself.

I’m not sure what Hennessey’s thoughts on Thomas would have been aside from ‘hooooo buddy you’re an odd duck’ but I don’t really think Thomas hides his attractions or relationships with men. There would honestly be no reason to - he’s a high class lord and while m-m relationships weren’t exactly accepted, in the higher classes they tended to be just a sign of eccentricity or madness(...YUP) rather than depravity. It would be easy to account Thomas fucking men to just another sign of what a rather odd bird he is. I mean, he’s married and, for all that it doesn’t appear he and Miranda have children, Alfred has other sons to carry on the line and like, Thomas is probs mad anyway so probably better not to pass that bloodline on, y’know?

SO. Hennessey is like ‘hey son I’m gonna throw you to this really really odd couple bc Alfred Hamilton, one of the Lords Proprietors to the Bahama Islands, Carolina, and everything west of Plymouth, won’t stop yelling at the sky about how he’s going skint broke please don’t fuck either of them' and James is like ‘Sounds gay I’m in Yes sir, Admiral Hennessey, sir not a problem I will not fuck the wife.’ and at first he’s like SCORE no more having to look at fit half naked sailors and everything’s going just great until he meets Lord Thomas Hamilton and Thomas opens his goddamn mouth and then James is like ‘oh no.’ And then he meets Miranda and he’s like ‘oh no.’

#thank you for coming to my ted talk #madisilverflinthamiltons #black sails #james mcgraw #flinthamiltons #thomas hamilton #miranda hamilton #milos black sails meta #black sails headcanons #the heart the heart the heart

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lexieelouuu11 · 4 years

Text

HC: Peter Parker didn’t know he was Bi until Harley Keener

So this took a turn I wasn’t expecting, also it’s a lot longer than I was expecting I’m sorry also Idk how to do the cut thing so my bad

TW: Mentions of Rape

Okay so Peter Parker is *Straight*

He likes girls, really likes girls

He literally went on a date with Liz (it may have ended with her moving away bc he put her dad in jail but that’s besides the point)

And he may have had a brief crush on MJ

So Peter Parker is *Straight*

Boys are gross, and trust Peter he knows

He doesn’t ever want to think of men in a sexual matter

He 10/10 supports anyone who comes out to him

But anytime he thinks about how boys could possibly be into him, his brain immediately goes to Skip Wescott

And how Peter was 9 when it started and that he never wants to be in a position like that again

It was horrible and scary, and Peter Parker likes women and only women, and he will never be anyone’s Skip. And he will never put himself in a position where there can be another Skip.

So Peter Parker thinks men suck.

(Obviously beside Ned and Mr Stark, they’re cool, but Peter has known Ned forever and Mr Stark is literally a super hero, and Peter only became such a huge fan of Iron Man and Tony Stark because of what happened)

His therapist tells him it was his way of coping with what happened

Then one day Happy picks Peter up at school on an non-lab day because Mr. Stark has someone that he wants Peter to meet

Peter really hopes its the Black Widow (because they’re both spider themed heroes !! how cool !!!)

Peter meets Mr Stark and this mystery person in the living room

Mr Stark introduces Peter Parker to Harley Keener

Harley Keener looks hot good, hes tall and wears a leather jacket and cowboy boots with skinny jeans. He looks so out of place, but he doesn’t look bothered by it either

Peters heart skips a beat, but Peter chalks it up to be anxiety

“Hey there Peter, I’m Harley”

Oh my god he has an accent, an actual southern accent

And doesn’t that just make Peters heart race

“Tony here tells me you’re a real Einstein” He laughed

Harley laughed. Peter is not laughing

Peter hears his blood rushing, and feels himself go cold. His spidey-sense is just going off

Peter looks to Mr Stark whose smile falters at the look of pure-fear on Peters face

Mr Stark doesn’t know. Peter never told him. Any files about what happened never include Peters name, or any family members name, so Mr Stark wouldn’t have stumbled on it, unless he went into Peter’s Therapists notes, which he hasn’t because he may be nosy but he isn’t invasive

Peter knows what this is, he knows he’s going into a panic attack. He was triggered and he needs to get out. Out out out before anything can happen

“So-sorry, I’ve gotta, I gotta go, something came up wi-with May. It was um, it was nice meeting you Harley.”

Peter left, and made it back home, though he doesn’t remember how he made it from Manhattan to Queens and into his apartment.

He’s home and it’s not the safest place, can’t go into his bedroom but it’s better than there

Tony beat him to the apartment (without Harley), already sitting with May when Peter walks in

May is quick to give Peter his favourite over-sized sweater (it makes him feel safe) sitting him down in the living room, putting a knit blanket over him, and giving a bottle of water.

“Pete, you okay kid?” Mr Stark asks

And Peter is fine, he always has been, so he nods

“Do you want to talk about why you were triggered into a panic attack” His voice is soft as he speaks to Peter, like Peter would break

May sits next to Peter, pulling him into her

“Adrian Toomes was not the first person Spider-Man sent to jail” Peter started the story like this because it was easier to tell it, his therapist may not be happy with it but she’ll be happy he’s making progress by telling some

“Spider-Man was 11 when he sent his first person to jail. It was a year long trial, one kid versus one 18 year old. He used to call Spider-Man, Einstein”

Peter seemed to be done with his explanation after this, deeming it enough information for Tony to understand what happened

It wasn’t

But May sending a text that said “Search Skip Wescott” gave Tony the opportunity to find out what happened later

(Tony is really pissed when he reads what happens, and makes sure Skip get transferred to worst prison and that he can never leave)

“Okay, Pete, I’ll talk to Harley about not calling you that. But Harley will be going to the same school as you, okay? That’s why I wanted you two to meet.”

After that first night Peter goes back to being his usual chipper self

And Harley starts at Midtown

Peter was just rounding the corner outside of the school to see Harley getting dropped off by Happy

After a moment of hesitation Peter went up to Harley and offered to help him on his first day (because Peter will not let his overwhelming fear take over and he will be friendly for the sake of Mr Stark and that is all)

Despite Peter’s uneasiness and distrust Peter and Harley get on like a house on fire

Peter started to feel really close to Harley, and Harley would often throw his arm around Peter’s shoulder and call him things like sugar, or sweet thing or darling

And Peter liked that a lot, except he didn’t because it was weird (but he really did)

And Peter would always go tomato red whenever Harley was around

Even Ned and MJ recognized the crush Peter had on Harley and vice versa

“Dude when are you going to make a move on him?”

“What the fuck, Ned? I’m straight, Harley and I are friends”

“Peter are you being serious right now? You both obviously have a crush on each other. Harley knows you like him too.”

“The fuck MJ, I expected you to be more understanding about this. We are friends. Maybe I come off as gay to you because I choose to respect people and am not the exact definition of a ‘toxic male,’ but I don’t fucking like you guy assuming that I like men. Men ain’t shit and I’m not going to find myself in another situation like I used too. I like women”

“What’s your issue Peter? You homophobic now? Didn’t peg you as that.”

“Fuck MJ, this isn’t your business. I’m an ally, people love who they love, but I don’t like men, and you need to stop pushing that on me. I have my reasons, you have yours.”

“Peter, the way you’re going off on MJ isn’t really helping your point much-”

“Would the two of you just shut up about this. I don’t like other guys. Women are it for me. I will not be stuck under another man. Fuck, I’m straight and you need to stop pushing the idea that I’m into Harley just because you want me to live out your little fantasies of what my life should be like.”

Peter didn’t talk to them the rest of the day. Not because he was angry but because he was embarrassed that he said too much

At the tower Peter and Harley were cuddled together sitting next to each other watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine and talking

Peter really loved Harley’s Blue eyes

And his accent

And his face

And Harley in general

But totally only in a friends way

They’re bros

“I want to try something real quick, you can tell me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am”

And then Harley kisses Peter

Harley Kisses him

And Peter freaks out

Without even thinking about it, Peter pushes Harley off of him and bolts, leaving the tower without his phone, shoes or bag, Peter just leaves

Once Peter gets outside he throws up, before his anxiety takes over again and he just runs and runs and runs

Harley is left now sitting on the ground, tears in his eyes, confused and hurt about what just happened

Tony makes it to Harley in record time thanks to Friday, and without a question Harley explains what happened

“I thought he liked me too, Tony, I really did. I don’t know how I messed up this bad.”

“I’m sorry Harls, Peter has been hurt a lot and I just don’t think he was ready yet emotionally for a relationship.”

Tony knows that Peter has probably just been triggered. He’s only heard Peter talk about girls romantically, never boys, but he was sure that Peter and Harley were going to be together at some point

Once Harley finally calms down enough and goes to his room Tony calls May

“May, is Peter with you, he left all his stuff here.”

“No, I thought he was staying with you tonight. what happened?”

“Harley kissed Pete, and he freaked out and ran out without any of his stuff, I was hoping he was with you. His phone is here too.”

“I think I know where he is, College Point Park. Ben and I used to take him there after any court date.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

“What about Harley?”

“He’s already asleep, I’ll meet you there.”

Tony and May get there in record time, finding Peter sitting on the rocks facing the East River.

“Peter?” May called out.

Peter turned around, his face clearly red, tears streaming down his face.

“I don’t understand” Peter finally said as May and Tony got close enough

“What don’t you understand?” Tony asked

“Harley kissed me. He kissed me. I expected to hate it. But I didn’t. I liked it when he kissed me. I should hate it though. He’s a boy. I shouldn’t have liked it.”

“Peter it’s okay if you liked Harley Kissing you, and it’s okay if you like him romantically too” May tried to comfort

“But it’s not May, because if I like Harley, and I like him kissing me then that means that I liked it when Skip kissed me. And I didn’t like anything he did to me.”

“Peter, I like when Pepper and I kiss, but that doesn’t mean that if May were to kiss me that I’d like it. Same thing goes for you kiddo.”

“I like girls though. I can’t like Harley.”

“You can like both boys and girls. You could be Bisexual or maybe not. No matter what it’s okay.” May said again.

“I need time. I can’t- I need Dr Rosenburg and I need to not be Spider-Man and I need to not see Harley or Ned or MJ. I need time.”

“Okay baby, you can have as much time as you need.”

Peter ends up taking a week off of school, with daily appointments with his therapist. He went completely ghost mode. Wasn’t active as Spider-Man, wasn’t active on social media. Didn’t read or respond to anyone’s messages. Only talking to May or Tony and only if they were at the apartment.

After his week off, Peter finally reappeared at school, still having not responded to anyone’s messages, preferring to just deal with things in person.

“Peter oh my god you’re alive we all thought you died.” Ned shouted from down the hall going to greet his friend, MJ and Harley in tow.

“I’m fine guys, I just had some stuff from the past come back up that needed to be dealt with before I did anything that would hurt other people.”

“What are you talking about Parker, you wouldn’t hurt a fly let alone anyone else.” MJ said confused

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready too but I’m not there yet. My therapist thinks I made good progress this week though.”

“Your therapist?” Ned asked.

“Uh yeah, sorry. MJ, Ned, I really messed up with how I treated you guys the other day, regarding my sexuality, turns out I may of been wrong and you guys were right, I just repressed any of those emotions due to trauma. So, I’m sorry you didn’t deserve that.”

Ned and MJ obviously forgive Peter bc duh they’re friends

“I would like to talk to Harley privately though, so you guys wouldn’t mind?”

So Peter pulls Harley to the side finally getting the chance to talk to him, and wanted to say his words before he lost his nerves.

“Peter I’m sorry-”

“I liked when you kissed me. That’s why I freaked out. I didn’t think it was possible for me to like that, or men. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I wasn’t prepared and my brain automatically went to a dark place. I like you Harley Keener, but I have problems and I want you to be aware of that before we do anything.”

“Okay.”

“If we are going to try this I need you to be aware of my limits. I have a lot of them apparently, and I’m not sure if more will come up or not, but my therapist said that I should talk to you about this stuff before we do anything. If you still like me, that is.”

“Peter Parker you are too precious, of course I still like you, I don’t plan on not liking you for a while yet.”

And then Peter smiles and he feels relieved, because getting to this point took a lot of work and now he’s here and he likes a boy who likes him back who won’t hurt him

#parkner #parley #peter parker #peterparker #harleykeener #harley keener #bi peter parker #bi peter #irondad #spiderson #insecure #skipwescott #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu

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captainsjack · 4 years

Note

I am SO MAD there isn't more Shus content. I really liked Phsyc as a kid, just started rewatching it. Within the first episode I was like hell yes childhood best friends to lovers I ship this so hard! And then I found out it's a rare pair bc fandom is racist. Also JRR is half Mexican, and i guess bc he passes it's never addressed in the show and both his parents are played by white actors? How cool would it have been to have had half Mexican Shawn? Idk I'm only on S2, I would love your thoughts

yUp :) you’re 100% correct my dude.

(1) i get the concept of wanting to make a show about platonic love and childhood best friends, like it’s a great idea and i’m here for it and more shows should focus on these kinds of aspects instead of your basic forced romantic love story. but the thing is, if this is what they were aiming for, they... just didn’t do it well.

there’s a difference between friendship love and ... what shawn and gus have. (like obviously they have that too but it goes beyond that as well). if psych wanted to make a show about best friends, they really should’ve toned down the codependency, obsessive jealousy, gay jokes, etc. because, from my experience, that’s just not what a friendship is like.

storytime that no one asked for: i met my best friend when we were 3 and she’s been my best friend for 16 years. we went to the same elementary, middle, and high school together, just like shawn and gus. we’ve always been super close. but we don’t act like shawn and gus.

shawn and gus are each other’s only friend. they spend 24 hours, 7 days a week, 365 days of the year together. they walk next to each other with their bodies pressed together. they touch each other longingly for no reason. they’re constantly just like... gazing lovingly at each other. they joke about dating each other. people constantly mistake them for a couple.

there’s a difference between regular long time best friends, and what shawn and gus are. look at any other tv show with best friends - jess & cece (new girl), alex & mer (greys), ross & chandler (friends). THOSE are best friend relationships. that’s how me and my best friend are.

but shawn and gus are so much more than that. gus knows everything there is to know about what makes shawn spencer, Shawn Spencer. he’s literally the only person shawn lets himself be real around. he’s the only one who can see past shawn’s facade. the only person who has been there since the beginning and has first-hand knowledge & experience of all of shawns trauma. he’s the only person shawn really lets himself open up to. not to mention the fact that gus is the only one who is never, and has never, been deceived by shawn, whether in regards to shawns emotions or his “psychic-ness.” all of shawns love interests are kept in the dark. but gus knows the ins and outs of shawns personality - his biggest secrets and deepest fears. he’s the only person that’s been a constant presence in shawns life. he’s the only person shawn keeps coming back to. gus is the one who claimed shawn on his taxes. gus is the one who shawn can’t ever fathom not being in his life.

i know what best friends are and what they feel for each other. and this is SO much more than that.

here's a second story you didn’t want to hear: i met my other best friend senior year of high school. let me tell you - that relationship was so much different than what i have with my childhood best friend. we would go everywhere together and do everything together. people constantly mistook us for a couple. i talked about her constantly and she was the first person i would ever want to talk to if something happened. it didn’t mean i loved my other friends any less, but it was just such a different relationship. we were exactly like shawn and gus. down to the details almost.

and yes, you guessed it. i eventually fell in love with her. and when i told my other friends, they had already known before i did.

maybe you have to have first-hand experience of situations like these, but its really obvious to me that shawn and gus’s friendship is completely the same as me and my friend from high school, and not at all like me and my childhood best friend.

because, to me, you shouldn’t have extreme, unhealthy jealousy of the person your friend is dating. you shouldn’t be upset when they start dating someone. you shouldn’t sabotage their relationships because you don’t want to share them. and, obviously, i’m not saying this is healthy in any respect, even if you’re in love with someone, you gotta have boundaries, but. like. this definitely isn't something you do with a normal best friend. i don’t know about you, but i wouldn't propose to someone else and include my best friend in the proposal.

i don’t really know how to explain it, other than, you can’t really understand the difference between a regular best friend, and something that’s just so much more than that, that you end up falling in love with them, unless you experience it yourself. those little touches, glances, half-assed “date me” jokes, mean something. if you know, you know.

i guess what i’m trying to say is that, if psych wanted a show about best friends, then they didn’t achieve that.

because what they gave us was a story about childhood best friends falling in love, and never doing anything about it because they’re too afraid to risk their friendship.

and, maybe, if the show had been made now, they wouldn’t have been as scared to have a main queer couple in a show. maybe they wouldn’t have forced the only woman character with the main guy, just so they didn't have to deal with admitting the fact that shawn and gus belong together.

if they wanted the main love story to be between jules and shawn, then they shouldn’t have written shawn and gus with so much chemistry.

and even if i’m wrong about all this, if my idea of friendship isn’t correct, and shawn and gus are “normal,” then at the very least, it was a missed opportunity. a chance to have a queer interracial couple as the main part of a show. it was something we deserved.

(2) again, you’re correct. people go ape shit for “best friends to lovers” and “partners to lovers” and mutual pining, and all the other tropes shawn and gus embody. but, make a black guy a part of a ship, and all of the sudden, people say “hm.. i just can’t see them as anything more than friends :)”. because people can’t comprehend black people as rounded, fully developed people who deserve love. i can’t find it atm, but there’s this really good post that talks a lot about this (in regards to mcu, but still stands).

(3) again, you took the words right out of my mouth. there’s an interview with james where he explains why he’s only played white characters in the past.

also, here’s some more discourse about it x x x x.

in summation, shawn and gus are in love, psych fandom hates black people, hollywood is racist, and we deserved more from psych :)

#lmao i really went off here #whoops #sorry this is so long #if you can't tell i love shawn and gus a lot #shus #shawngus #psych #burton gus guster #burton guster #shawn spencer #my post #anon #answered

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sugarandspice-games · 3 years

Text

Okay, so I finally got through Saeran's good ending, I might go back and play the normal and other bad endings later if I feel like it, but as that was an emotional rollercoaster, I need some time to recover. But I'm going to put my full review under the cut.

Will I be releasing my rewrite outline at this point (though not really a rewrite, since I made it before the AE was ever released when I was drunk and salty at the lack of news)? I'm not sure. I wasn't 100% satisfied, but we'll call it a good 65% as I feel like there was more I liked than I hated. I'll leave that decision up to my dear readers, whether or not they want to see it. (Though there are only like... 8 of you here and I know you're probably here for Obey Me content and not MysMess)

I do plan on playing the Jumin Bad End DLC, but I may not liveblog it as I haven't really heard good things. This seems like another ploy for fanservice, but I do want to get more lore about Jumin's backstory, and honestly... I'm gay and want to see those sexy CGs. That being said... this is the last I will discuss the canon material on this blog, and it may be the last time I engage with the canon material (as I believe cheritz has announced that this is the finale anyway, and will no longer update the game). I will most likely continue to create fan content for it, as Sugar and I have our own sort of... fanfic thing going on with the characters and our OCs. But this is a personal and huge special interest of mine, and rather than go through everything and pick it apart for the rest of my days... I want to leave the game and the characters I love so much with only my happiest memories. They'll live on in my heart.

But I digress... here is my semi-condensed review. Sugar may talk about it as well, though I do not speak for them. THIS SHOULDN'T NEED TO BE SAID BUT HERE THERE BE SPOILERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU DID NOT COMPLETE THE GOOD END OF RAY'S AE.

The Good:

Saeran. Saeran was the best thing about this route. His character development was beautiful, and every time I saw him, I felt my heart swell with pride and love. His new sprites are so adorable as well as his beautiful CGs, and he looks healthier and happier in a lot of them. He's grown to be such a loving, gorgeous, wonderful man despite everything that happened in his painful life, and his story is nothing short of inspirational. I have a lot of love for Saeran, I have from the moment I saw him but this route really drove it home for me. He will have a special place in my heart among my fictional loves that can never be replaced.

Jumin Jumin Jumin! Jumin was one of the absolute MVPs this route, he was doing the most and boy... I just want to hug him. Even though he was in horrendous pain he was doing the absolute best he could to help everyone. He's been a love of mine for a long time, and that love only grew in this route. I was also glad to meet Driver Kim and see the interaction between him and Daddy Han Sr. (Because obviously Juju is the junior Daddy Han lol)-- even though I have mixed feelings about the Chairman, it makes me happy to see Jumin getting the caring he deserves from his father. And the fact that he even turned his back to let Jumin express his emotions without feeling embarrassed... Fucking killed me.

They did Rika right this go around. Yes, she got off to a really rough start, but she was very human and bearable here... and complete with her realizing her wrongdoings and working to right them in the end. It was a gorgeous arc, I'm so happy for her. I have a love hate relationship with her character, as she used to be a very badly written villain IMO... but one of the good things about Another Story in general is that it gave her depth that she didn't have before. And if they wanted to redeem her, they 100% did it right here, even if she had a rough beginning and had to make mistakes to get to where she was. I thought it was very human. Good on you, cheritz.

Vanderwood got a lot of good interactions here, and I'm really happy they gave us more Van content. Even if we're not getting a route for him, it's enough to me to finally see him expressing the affection we all know that he holds for Saeyoung, and working to help him.

The twins finally get to be happy! Need I say more?

Everyone doing well in their lives made me really happy too... most of the other routes had this problem where if one person got to be happy, someone else would have to suffer in exchange. I'm so glad that everyone got a happy ending.

The new chats made me extra emotional... I'm not sure why, to be honest, I think I'm just happy to see everyone again. It had been such a long time since I played Mystic Messenger, and talking to everyone again just like old times felt like returning to a childhood home (though I was 19 when I discovered this game initially, haha). I cried a lot, which is extra weird for me since I don't tend to cry in general.

Yoosung loves Saeran soooo much... in fact, everyone does. It made me happy, bc I was initially worried that he wouldn't have made friends with the RFA or that it would be awkward, but seeing everyone loving him and him being sweet back to them was adorable. Jumin also loves him and you can't change my mind (though maybe that's my wishful thinking of being in a Jumin & Saeran sandwich talking...)

So many good messages in this AE, and they hit very personally. I came to the same realization last year, that in the end, nothing in life matters except love, since you can't take anything else with you when you die. I shan't elaborate more!

Everyone's voice acting was so good! It was so beautiful and emotional, I could feel it through their voices. I usually skip the voice lines since I read so fast, but I'm happy I didn't.

The Bad:

Oh Jihyun... what have they done to you? I know I said he wasn't OOC and I stand by that, but it really feels like the writers hated him this AE. Even his sprite looked so awful and blurry. And he didn't get any good realization that he deserved better or anything, the literal cult leader and prime fucking minister got to be redeemed when he didn't. What the actual fuck. Sugar will definitely have more to say about it, and probably in a more articulate way, but let it be known that I don't like it either.

Furthermore, even if it's not OOC, it's structurally sloppy for him to come to some realization only to stay the exact same as he's always been. And same with Rika too. As I said in a previous post, having them both go through these realizations only to make them the villains again really felt like beating a dead horse. What can I say except AAAAAAAAA. WHAT THE FUCK?

Again, I must reiterate... why'd they make it so you have to be a bitch to Rika to get the good ending? I get that it's probably wish fulfillment for some people in the fandom, but it isn't for me. I really don't have any desire to berate or insult her bc in the end she needs serious help (even if I wanted to throw hands with her sometimes), and if the point was to call her on her misbehavior... some of it went too far (looking @ the "Don't stab Saeran's eyes out!" choice. I didn't like that at all, especially since it felt like you were making fun of Jihyun's trauma.) It especially made the end of her arc fall flat when she's like "Thank you for being kind and trying to understand me..." like, gurl... the game didn't let me do that without making me bad end! Jeez.

Also, literally why was it necessary to redeem the prime minister? He's a monster who tried to murder his own children. It's okay if they needed that scene where Saeran and you tried to understand him, but having him actually come around made no sense... why would he want to listen to you or Saeran when we've seen time and time again that there isn't really any good in him? He's just not a good person. And no, I'm not saying this because I wanted him to die or anything! ...Okay, maybe I did. Fuck that guy. I hate him. (Also the whole "you're only this way because you're lonely!" was so corny, I didn't choose those options but gjkgkgkfk)

The Ugly:

Have y'all heard about how much I hate the agency Boss? I hate him so much... I want to drown him in the toilet. I want to feed him taco bell laced with laxatives. I want to-- anyway, I digress. Not classifying this under bad because cheritz did their job by making him hateable and oh boy, did I hate him. He made me want to barf. I also commend his voice actor for somehow making me feel greasy through the screen. Seriously, dude, hats off to you. You are a genius.

That's about all I have to say for now... you can peruse my talk tag if you want to see any of my other thoughts on this game, but they don't tie into the good and bad. Despite the flaws, I enjoyed myself this route and I'm happy I played it. Even though there will always be things to improve upon in this game... I'm happy I picked it up, and I'm happy I met everyone. I would write them all letters or something but that'd be kinda corny since they're just game characters and won't see it anyway, and I know I'm not the only nor am I the most attractive MC out there... so this is Spice, signing out! Byebye, Mystic Messenger. You'll always have a special place in my heart.

All of the... weird horniness between Rika and Saeran made me feel grossed out. Her having him in a collar with a leash, and the game options that insinuate she has a thing for him... ew ew ew. Please stop it. That shit is so disgusting and I'm going to puke.

@ Both Saeyoung and Saeran: stop fucking trying to die all the time! Seriously! Let me love you and want to save you, when will you get it through your thick skulls that one gay ass MC who loves you very very dearly would NEVER be happy if you died? AAAAAAAA

#ray ae spoilers #mysmess #mystic messenger #ray after ending #spice talks #mysme salt

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a-very-fond-farewell · 4 years

Text

The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 22/?

Drama AU [this is just an idea tho, no plot basically]: “Did you find a bitch in me?”

[JC-focus crackships galore baby! title is from a Marina Diamandis’s song (“Hermit the Frog) but that’s probably not important for the non-plot so... yeah]

“So... wait a minute.”

“Hit me.”

“I’m still confused.”

“About?”

“Wen Qing... why should I know about your ex’s exes?”

“Because he’s a bisexual menace and I don’t want him to ruin this for me.”

“Jiang Cheng is not going to sleep with me.”

“What do you know tho? He’s that powerful.”

“Babe, I’m a lesbian.”

“And he has dated everyone in our circle of friends and their significant others.”

“Big lesbian energy, you’re absolutely right.”

“Thank you. I taught him well.”

or the only au where there’s only drama and no plot and JC went from experimenting to actively turning people gay or straight just because.

[attn: in this au Jin GuangShan is not, I repeat, not a bitch and did not, in fact, have other kids aside from Jin ZiXuan bc I say so. don’t make me complicate this non-existent plot more, please]

[under the cut for more!]

ok. got it. JC knows he’s no saint. hell, he doesn’t even qualify as a decent human being, alright. he’s that socially abominable. but things have escalated to a point where he doesn’t even know what to do. maybe become a hermit, lock his dick and call it a day. yeah, that should do the trick. because he really doesn’t know when it all started... no. that’s a lie. total bullshit. it was Nie HuaiSang.

so, SO, he may have been 16. sweet bush child with no future nor name. a great big sister, a stupid big bro, an overachieving mother, a distant father, the usual. save for fucking Nie HuaiSang and his stash of porn. and JC was straight. and he just wanted to check if the link his high school friend sent him was a jumpscare or not. he closed the tab right after the first moan echoed in his room late at night, he forgot to put the jack in and his earphones were possibly all the way back in his backpack on the kitchen table. fuck his life. and also fuck HuaiSang for being into weirdly sensual artsy porn on top of that. fuck his life. fuck the replay button too.

coincidentally, HuaiSang was his first kiss, first head, first everything only one year later and JC still talks to the jerk to an extent, but not because he wants to, okay? they were experimenting, but JC was still straight. he wanted to do good on his first actual relationship with a woman, whatever that meant for him at the time. HuaiSang was okay with that, the lying bastard. JC may or may not have grown fond of him by the time their graduation came, but they never got around to talk about it because they were stupid and young.

also, HuaiSang’s brother had caught them once and JC had known there and then why his non-boyfriend had decided to cut things loose afterwards. that jock was scary as fuck.

then. THEN. university came and Wen Qing was the one reminding JC he was still very much as straight and unbendable as he could get. it took him three years to not yell at her in frustration and ask her out: the sexual tension between them fueled by rivalry over good grades and the scholarship program they both wanted to have access to for their masters.

she had been the one asking him out. JC was lying about having the balls to do it, obviously. the fact that she also discovered to be a lesbian while being with him could have burned less, all things considered, but JC knew he had made love to her and that was enough for him. letting her go had been the right thing to do and they still talk everyday and she loves his nephew and everything is fine.

JC is FINE.

it only took him the two remaining years of his masters to get over her, but. FINE.

he’s not gonna talk about her brother. it happened only once. okay maybe once that particular night, at a bar and they were drunk and Wen Ning was nothing like his sister and the boy always had a slight crush on him and he was the one suggesting it, okay?

Wen Ning was kind and gentle and kissed way better than his sister and maybe after two years JC could get over it and move on and they could still be a family after all and that last stall in the staff toilet had been where JC’s bottom cherry was popped and oh gods that felt so good...

“actually, Jiang Cheng, you’re lovely. but I think I’m actually really straight so... I’m sorry. I hope we can still be friends?”

yeah. JC’s not gonna talk about fucking Wen Ning.

maybe the fact that his brother Wei Ying got married so soon was the reason why. it has to be.

JC hated, HATED Lan Zhan. he hated how much in love they were. how softly they moved around each other. how much he wanted some of that as well.

and since he was THAT petty he had to flirt with Lan Zhan’s brother (Lan Huan) because of it. the man was terrifyingly good looking and a gentleman. so much he didn’t want to give in to JC’s requests... because he already had a boyfriend.

JC knew nothing about said boyfriend aside from the fact that he was apparently a snake, whatever Wei Ying meant by that.

Lan Huan looked very intrigued, but he’s also very loyal and JC admired him for that. he didn’t want to have that conversation tho, the one where Lan Huan politely asked him to stop being so charming in his periphery, so JC decided to hide for a month or two and maybe extended that period of time and never show his face again while he’s at it.

Lan Zhan would have also had his head on a fucking plate if he dared touching his precious older brother so, there’s that as well.

so he dated a bunch of people after swiping them on apps left and right, got the hitch out of his system and felt miserable about it.

Nie HuaiSang came back into his life like, the day before JC started working for a new company and asked him out for a drink. HuaiSang was crushing for a man too young for HuaiSang’s comfort because he usually liked older men and this boy was fresh out of his bachelor and JC’s friend was well in his late twenties and didn’t have a job yet and...

JC shut him up with a kiss and they felt slightly less lonely afterwards, until they actually talked about their issues and decided to stop being messy and grow out of their bad habits.

JC still fells sick at the idea of being someone else’s “bad habit” though.

Wen Chao was a mistake.

Wen Chao’s girlfriend was a mistake.

Wen Chao’s brother was a mistake.

Their bloody uncle was a mistake.

Their father was an even more spectacular mistake.

JC has yet to find out how he survived the year of his thirtieth birthday, honestly. that shit had been wild as fuck.

YanLi and her husband offered JC to look after Jin Ling more often in order to make him feel some sense of safety, he knew that much. at the time, JC hated the fact that ZiXuan worried over him and that his own sister didn’t know how to help him either.

people at work had started to treat him differently as well, now that they knew how messy he was. he started getting treated for depression soon after being promoted to supervisor, his workaholic tendencies saving him from himself after years of sleeping around and drinking too much for his own good.

A-Su was YanLi’s friend from university and was kind enough to ask him out one day. she stayed with him for a year before apologizing to him, saying she wanted something more: a family, a future, something JC could have not given her anytime soon.

his brother and Lan Zhan adopted a boy and JC became an uncle for the second time. A-Yuan was difficult to look after, having survived stressful living conditions in his early childhood, so Wei Ying appreciated the extra hand when JC offered it to him and his husband.

looking after children forced him to be not so angry all the time and now Jin Ling had a cousin he could play with and was very glad his Jiujiu was feeling better.

when Lan Huan came back into his life, JC had forgotten about even attempting to win him over in his early twenties. it felt life a lifetime had passed.

they started as friends this time around, but JC felt nothing for him and he was okay with that. they were good uncles to A-Yuan and that was enough.

what really caught JC off guard was when Meng Yao stumbled upon him one day in midwinter, crashing on JC and sending his briefcase up in the air. the older man was apologetic and kind and gods forbid JC still needed some of that in his life. even if it was the other who had crashed into him, JC offered to buy him coffee since Meng Yao’s cup was now sadly rolling out frame on the snowy path.

to his utter astonishment, Meng Yao accepted.

JC took his time with him, willing to slow down and really get to know this new man who seemed so welcoming and easily approachable... yet so impossibly far and unreachable.

Meng Yao confessed cheating on his previous partner with his best friend five years prior and how he felt undeserving of another chance with someone as kind as JC. he revealed how therapy helped him work on his tendency of manipulating others and that this was the only reason why he wanted to be honest with JC and tell him the truth. so that the younger man could make up his mind if Meng Yao could be granted a chance with him.

this heartfelt confession startled JC in the beginning, especially bc Meng Yao seemed adamant about not sleeping with him for the foreseeable future, unless they talked it out some more.

on JC’s thirty-fourth birthday, one year after meeting Meng Yao, JC asks him to marry him during a pleasant dinner the older man has planned for him.

to his horror and absolute joy, A-Yao accepts.

JC didn’t mind not having been intimate with him until then, nor he would have minded if A-Yao never happened to change his mind on the matter. JC felt safe with him, even when he saw him reminiscing the past with grief painting his features behind his fake smile. JC knew he could give him happiness and so he asked him to meet the Jiangs for the first time to announce the good news.

all but Wei Ying and his husband have arrived the even JC brought A-Yao home, their car stuck in traffic. they start eating without them, with the couple’s permission. YanLi and ZiXuan didn’t bring A-Ling this time around, not willing to leave too soon and waste a chance to really get to know the new member of their family. JC’s father seemed pleased to meet with A-Yao, exchanging pleasantries and conversing about common interests...but JC’s mother is weirdly cold and distant that night.

once dinner came to a end, finally Wei Ying arrived, apologizing profusely for making the lot of them eat without them. however, nor he or his husband could take their eyes off of A-Yao...and neither could JC’s fiancé.

“if you still have some dignity to spare, I suggest you leave this very moment,” said Lan Zhan, the most he has ever spoken in one breath in front of JC. to which, to JC’s astonishment, A-Yao answered by giving JC one last look and the saddest smile he had ever worn...before leaving the house and never look back.

confused, heartbroken, humiliated...JC didn’t know what to feel when Lan Zhan explained to the lot of them what Meng Yao had done to Lan Huan after eight years together. cheating on the kindest man alive with an old acquaintance of his that to that day remained unnamed bc Meng Yao refused to reveal their identity.

JC’s mother didn’t have to tell her son that she had known all along something was off about A-Yao: JC could feel it in the way she was looking at him, sitting next to him on the couch. she had a sixth sense for venomous people.

the following year, JC is pretty sure it passed in a blur. he remembers working less hard than what he was expected to do, been consequently and rightfully demoted in his company. others gossiped about him being so proud for nothing in the end, which aggravated his mood.

to his surprise, his mother was the one suggesting him to take a break somewhere nice. to clear his head for a month or two before deciding what to do with his life. Wei Ying booked him a trip to Taiwan the following day and in less than a week JC is on a plane to take a long vacation there.

one night, roughly a week after his arrival at the hotel, JC was staring blankly at the skyline in deep thought. he had done the tourist-y shit, eaten all the foods in the best restaurants, brought presents for his family. and now he was bored out of his mind. the same, old questions swirling in his mind: did A-Yao lie when he said he loved him? did he lie just so he could have a fresh start and forget about the past? did he leave bc he felt guilty for his past with Lan Huan? was he serious when he had accepted JC’s proposal?

that’s when Mo XuanYu came barging into his life like a hurricane.

the younger man, seven years his junior, spotted him from an adjacent balcony and proceeded to talk to him as if...trying to de-escalate a suicide attempt from his part.

“sir, please. I’m sure there’s more to life than this. I don’t know what happened to make you feel this way but...everything will be fine in the end. I promise you. I was there. It’s okay. please don’t jump over the balcony.”

JC had no intention of jumping, just to be clear, but something in his eyes must have caught the kid’s attention and...was that a steward uniform he was wearing? did he work for the hotel? JC was none the wiser but that was the first time someone had reassured him so wholeheartedly without even knowing him and it felt...weird.

he started tearing up and the younger man panicked, promising to keep him company all night if necessary, reaching out with a hand to touch JC and reassure him from the other side. JC grasped it gingerly in his own and let himself be coaxed back to the realm of the living by such gentle soul.

JC hated himself for sleeping with him not even a week after their encounter.

but it just felt so good to let himself be guided by hand to the most hidden and wonderful places. away from the tourist crowd, eating delicious food with someone smiling prettily at him. yet he hated himself more for thinking about someone else in bed with him, at least in the beginning.

Mo XuanYu seemed to know anyway, and even encouraged him to just do whatever he felt like with him. casual hookups didn’t have to be meaningful, the younger man had said, and it wasn’t even the first time someone used him as a rebound either. still, something ugly stirred in JC at that.

so he decided to stop thinking about himself for once and shoved every bad memory away. all to pour his affection into someone else and cater to his lover for the following month and a half. borrowed time of a stolen season, during which JC doted on the younger man and learned to listen.

some of the stories Mo XuanYu told him felt slightly familiar, almost as if they had a friend in common and didn’t know who it might have been. after his shift, the younger man would ask to eat with JC and share his frustrations, repaying him in kindness with sweet kisses and even sweeter smiles that felt a little bit too brittle in the morning, when he was bound to leave.

by the end of JC’s trip it was clear to him that he had grown fond of the other man, too much for his own good. but during a vacation, away from home, surrounded by new and exciting things...anyone would have worn a mask to forget their normal life, that reality they would have eventually been forced to come back to.

by the end of his vacation, JC had figured out who their common friend was and remembered how distant Nie HuaiSang had felt falling in love with Mo XuanYu. how sad the younger man’s emotional unavailability has made him feel.

and when they parted ways at the airport, JC kissed him goodbye and never saw him again. the memory of Mo XuanYu’s brittle smile engraved forever in the back of his mind.

back to work. back to his bad bitch persona. it felt good to focus on his job and nothing else for a year or two, keeping others at distance while bossing them from his office as he regained his boss’s trust. being promoted a second time gave him the confidence he needed to move on with his life and by his thirty-seventh birthday he could finally see a future for himself.

therapy was helping a great deal and even his siblings seemed to notice his progress, praising him for his willingness to seek help and his hard work.

A-Yuan and A-Ling included: the kids were growing up too fast, involving their uncle in their school projects and plans for mischief any chance they got to see him.

Lan Huan caught everyone by surprise one day in autumn by confirming YanLi and Wei Ying’s suspicions about his breakup with Nie MingJue, Nie HuaiSang’s older brother.

the older man didn’t tell them why he had stepped back from his engagement with the man, aside from saying that the both of them had found out something concerning about their past and common acquaintances. the discovery making them feel so disheartened to the point of braking their engagement of mutual accord.

JC felt bad for the man, knowing how much it hurt to lose someone so dear. not that they had had been able to discuss over the matter much, not even after A-Yao had left. it would have been awkward to talk about their common ex and his penchant for secrets and hurting other people’s feelings.

but they understood each other well enough and started talking more, out of their common interest in their nephews and their well-being.

five years later, JC was forty-two and content with his life. A-Ling was close to thirteen and A-Yuan quickly approaching fifteen. he could see them growing up and out of his reach, but their affection for him never wavered. until one day A-Yuan called him in the middle of the night, startling him awake.

apparently, his best friend JinGyi had called him for help after being beaten up by his foster mother and A-Yuan didn’t know what to do. calling his parents would have only alerted and worried Wei Ying and Lan Zhan, who were probably still asleep and hadn’t even noticed their son had sneaked out in the middle of the night.

panicked and worried, JC called Lan Huan instead and they left for the hospital. and something hurt at the sight of such a young boy lying still on a bed too big for him. something else clicked in JC’s brain at the sight but it would have taken him several months to realize what exactly.

furious and restless, Lan Huan spend months looking for the woman who had hurt the child, eventually destroying her in court until he pried a confession out of her. social services immediately alerted as JC inquired over the possibility of giving the child a permanent home himself.

not even a year later, JC was able to welcome the kid in their new house in the quietest part of town. it took a while for the boy to adjust, worrying over JC eventually changing his mind and letting him go. “who even adopts someone close to be of age?” JinGyi had asked, frustrated and certain JC would grow bored of him.

but JC was there to reassure him every step of the way, telling him family was forever and not something easily dismissible. he repeated it until the boy seemed satisfied and called him “dad” for the first time one inconspicuous evening at dinner. if JC cried on his pizza, well, nobody has to know.

Lan Huan was glad to listen to JC gushing over his son, more than supportive and borderline enthusiastic to listen to every little progress and new success.

JC knew this was enough, but he would lie saying he hadn’t felt loved by the other man. yet, he didn’t dare hope he could have another chance at happiness at almost fifty years old. Lan Huan himself close to fifty-five and well settled into his career as a lawyer...too much to consider a valuable partnership with someone like JC.

his therapist had bashed him for ages over such insecurity, but JC could only smile at him and shrug. many people didn’t find their happy ending and he still had JinGyi to look after. which seemed a good way to spend the rest of his life.

so it came as a surprise when, one evening, as JC overlooked at Lan Huan building a piece of furniture with JinGyi in their living room, he started crying with love and affection.

“why are you crying Jiang Cheng?”

“I’m happy.”

he really was.

he still is to this day.

[they don’t marry, but they do spend the rest of their life together anyway]

I need a break, this took days to make D:

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tiffgeorgina · 4 years

Note

What are your headcanons and/or feelings about Blair and Harris?

Ahhh first of all thank you for your patience anon! I’ve had a wild (and unfortunately pretty uninspired) couple of weeks but now i have a ton of ideas so here they are. btw these are super unorganized and non-time-centric and pretty much plotless and random lmao anyways let’s get into it:

-harris is a by-default, die-hard back sleeper. sure, he’ll spoon and cuddle, but he won’t fall asleep like that. he’ll just lie awake all night if he’s anywhere but on his back. blair’s also kinda weirded out by being the little spoon just bc he isn’t used to it. he’s been sleeping next to a woman half a foot shorter than him all his life so it’s basically weird all around. harris will roll over like thirty minutes into the night (when he thinks blair is asleep) and they’ll both get comfortable from there.

-blair’s a really tactile person though and he likes knowing that the person next to him in bed is still there if that makes sense? plus hes always waking up freezing so he likes to be close to harris. one night kinda early in their monogamous-ish relationship he wakes up at like 3 in the morning and decides to just. crawl on top of harris. harris is obvs on his back, and blair just hitches his outside leg over harris’s hips, rests his head on his chest, and sort of lies mostly on his stomach and practically on top of harris. he sleeps like the dead for the rest of the night.

-harris wakes up and he’s like “well fuck i cant move now” not that he wants to and it’s a saturday morning anyways so he just cards his fingers through blair’s hair and harris thinks he could get used to this

-they both tend to leave their wedding rings on when they’re together because once they both lost them and they only had 15 mins until harris needed to meet corky and it was a huge disaster. blair loves to spin harris’s around his finger since he’s almost always holding his hand in some capacity anyways, and harris loves to just stare at blair’s bc godDAMN if that isn’t the most beautiful piece of jewelry he’s ever seen. first, it symbolizes a pretty excellent arrangement between blair and tiff that makes it possible for harris to even be with him. second, it’s set with the biggest stone he’s ever seen. it’s a 12 carat emerald cut emerald and it’s gorgeous in the light ok im done talking about blair’s wedding ring lmao

-once corky walks in on them in the harris house and they’re obv shaken as hell, but she doesn’t even care. she’s like “oh hey guys” and just walks to the kitchen. obviously they’re like “uh what the hell” so they go ask her what her nonchalance is all about and she’s just like “i know. ive known for months. kissing at the country club? subtle” but she’s obviously just teasing and harris is just like “you aren’t pissed?” and she’s like “should i be?” and blair comes out of his shock for a minute to be like “uh yeah kinda?” and harris just elbows him like “why are you looking a gift horse in the mouth” and she’s like “yeah, i don’t think i really care. huh. i don’t really care” and no offense but it’s kind of the best day of harris’s life

-harris has a lot of traumatic memories from conversion therapy (showtime you’re wild asf for writing this in fuk u) and blair’s really good at calming him down if harris is panicking. blair’s been through his fair share of traumatic shit as we all know and tiff made him start going to a therapist, so he knows a bunch of techniques to prevent/stop panic attacks. harris is actually shocked at how quickly blair can calm him down. he’s curious too as to how he knew how to do that, but he figures it’s a question for another day

-that day comes a couple weeks later when they’re lying in bed, blair in what is now his standard sleeping position: outside leg over harris’s waist and his head on harris’s chest, practically draped over harris. harris can’t sleep, so he’s just staring at blair and running his hands over his back when he notices how rough his skin feels. he can’t really see, but he remembers to check in the morning before blair wakes up, and he notices--really notices for the first time--that his back and arms are littered with scars. he asks him the next day at breakfast, and he’s never seen blair freeze up like that. he explains his whole past with his dad (slowly and not without crying) and above all harris is just really glad that he could help blair and that blair trusts him enough to tell him

-MOMENTARY NSFW: this is kind of already canon from 2x02 but blair likes having his hair pulled ok goodbye

-they seem like the type of couple that would be together for years? like YEARS. they come out in like 2010 and get married in 2011 after having divorced tiff and corky in like the mid-90s no i do not take constructive criticism

-again, they’re in bed, standard sleeping position. harris can generally tell when blair’s fallen asleep; he can feel and see when his breathing evens out. he’s running his hands over blair’s back, just watching him, and he just looks so serene and peaceful that he can’t help but whisper “i love you” for the first time. of course this has to be the ONE time harris misjudges blair’s sleep and blair looks up. thankfully blair smiles, kisses him, and says “i love you too”

-harris’s gay and out friends hear that harris is going steady with this guy he met, and they’re nothing short of shocked. roger harris? monogamous? that’s absurd. so they meet this guy (blair duh dkjfhglkfdjh), and they’re surprised to actually recognize him from all those tabloids and TV spots and shit. (secretly, they had always had the suspicion that blair was gay, but the confirmation is nice). he’s actually pretty likable, and they’re about to feel bad for him (because they know harris is the human manifestation of the word “infidelity”) until they see how they act together. like, harris seems really genuinely into him. his friends have never seen him like this, all lovestruck and shit. his friends are somehow even more shocked and genuinely cannot believe their eyes. they talk to him about his relationship with blair later and he’s like “what can i say? i genuinely like him. i really, really like him” and they’re shocked speechless

-blair is a TOTAL baby gay and harris thinks it’s equal parts adorable and hilarious. harris didn’t realize blair hadn’t been with other men before he blurted it out at the country club, but it makes so much sense that harris is almost embarrassed he didn’t realize it sooner. harris will use any sort of gay slang and blair will just be utterly lost. blair is always super eager to learn though and harris ofc thinks it's adorable how excited he gets to learn and fit in so he’s happy to indulge him. blair’s kinda like a boomer trying to use gen z slang for a while but he eventually gets the hang of it, and sooner than later blair can take off his wedding ring and pass for an out-and-proud gay man to anybody who looks in his direction

whew i think that’s all ive got in me for rn. these ended up being super harris-centric but irdc dfjhgdfk. again thank you for your patience and thank you for sending this in anon!! def feel free to ask me anything/demand i write anything about anything black monday lol i hope yall liked these!

#black monday #congressman harris #blair pfaff #headcanons #blair pfaff/roger harris #andrew rannells #tuc watkins #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #otp: wait. i'm not gay. // neither am i.#anonymous #slander #open mic night

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shibalen · 3 years

Note

💥hewwo can I pwease get a romantic male matchup for bnha (darkbox bc I live for angst) (music box) when you have the time uwu

Levi he/him gay entp supposedly (also if it's not too much to ask please no characters under the age of 18 please)

I've been described as having a strong and loud personality, I'm extroverted and outspoken. I'm pretty eccentric too.

I value friendship, kindness and standing up for others.

Goal wise I'm pretty aimless. I dont have any goals, if I die well I guess that's it babey. In the meantime I'm just here to help animals and people who need it.

Positive traits: I always stick up for people in need, I'm good at reading people, I'm good with animals, I love to make people smile and laugh, cheerful, good at talking my way out of bad situations, uhm. Friendly!

Negative traits would be: hot headed, loud, stubborn, arrogant, comes across as intimidating:( good at getting into bad situations, gets into fights very often. Can be spiteful, I've been described as a pyromaniac so theres that. Can be sadistic

What pisses me off: my father. I can and will cause trouble for that man for as long as I live. And people who pick on the weak.

My hobbies and interests areeee: true crime babey! Crying over video games, baking, the occult, taking naps, dream interpretations and tarot readings

Likes: animals, cats specifically, stars, fire, sunsets, supposedly haunted places, storms, being dramatic for the hell of it, tormenting people in a good hearted way

Dislikes: uhhhh hot weather I guess.

Quirks: uh I have 5 cats! Ones my fathers but he never takes care of his cat so i pretty much count him as my own (plus he likes me more than my dad and it pisses my dad off hehe) I have weirdly accurate intuition, it makes reading people easy, knowing what they want to hear and what they dont.

Uhhh dates and relationship wise I'm honestly happy doing whatever my s/o wants to do. All I want is to see their face light up.

My love language is physical touch, I dont like touching people but if it's someone I feel strongly about youd have to pry me away from them.

I once got kicked out of a library for starting a fight in it, trashy I know but I wasnt going to stand there and do nothing while my friends were being bullied and pressured into getting involved with a really dodgy man. I scared the bullies off for good at least B) they never bothered my friend again babey

Oh I'm also known around the area I live in as someone who's good at finding homes of lost pets. Often times I come across a lost animal and befriend it in no time and use my connections to find its family.

Sorry if this was rly long and thank you for your time!! I hope you have a fantastic day uwu if anything's too difficult to come up with ideas for I'm more than happy for you to change anything to make it easier for you too!

♡︎ matchup for anon

heya! here i am with another late matchup but i hope you still see this. i'm sorry about the delay (╯_╰)

bnha: i match you with . . .

natsuo todoroki !!

• this was one of those "heureka!" moments for me. you both hate your dads and hot weather? it's a match made in heaven! okay jk, these are just nice add-ons.

• what really made me consider Natsuo were your values and personality. kindness and friendships are important to both of you. Natsuo's a medical student so i am convinced helping others is high on his priority list too. he loves your driven and passionate nature because he doesn't go sugarcoating bs either.

• you're definitely the more energetic one while Natsuo only gets hot-headed about the things that are the most important to him. i think it's a good compromise, you can help each other out :)

• he was a little taken aback and cautious of your explosiveness at first but warmed up to it quickly after learning what a kind person you really were. now he thinks your dramatic attitude is funny during your sillier moments ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

• speaking of, you lads met at an animal shelter. there had been a dog that was astray in the neighbourhood of his home, so Natsuo, being a responsible boyo, took it to the local shelter.

• then there you were, standing by the help desk with five kittens wrapped in your jacket in your arms. apparently someone had been trying to drown them so you'd taken care of the situation accordingly.

• Natsuo understood jumping into a lake to rescue the poor animals because he would have done the same, but you could have had just called the police?? it was extremely ridiculous but admirable at the same time to beat all those guys up.

• your chat turned into a pleasant conversation afterwards as you were waiting for the animals to finish their check-ups. Natsuo was a bit shy but you didn't mind and kept the chat going which he appreciated.

• later he volunteered to help you look for good homes for the animals you'd both found. during this project the two of you got to know each other quite well and ended up hanging out together afterwards!

• and from that point on, everything fell into place naturally. the growing spark between you was undeniable and you both knew it. Natsuo definitely liked you longer, he was just a lil dense about it . . .

• you're nothing short of a hero in his eyes but dear lord he worries for you. when he's attending lectures he sometimes can't help but wonder if you're all right and not getting involved in anything violent.

• attends to your possible injuries while nagging you not to be so quick to start a fight next time. in return, you playfully bully him for being such a mom.

• you join forces with Fuyumi to pick on him about your relationship. even though you're already together, soft Natsuo still blushes when his affection for you is brought up, it's entertaining for both you and Fuyumi.

• idk if you've heard but Natsuo's 181cm tall!! hugging someone has never been easier even if you happen to be taller than him. the only thing is his skin's naturally kind of chilly so he's lowkey worried if you dislike it but you always assure him he's perfect!

• one time he was stressed over exams so you baked him some blueberry muffins. he gave you the biggest hug and kiss because it's exactly all these little things you do that set his heart racing for you ♡︎

• "last night i saw a dream about being a frog and eating giant flies, it was gross."

• "oh, that just means your love life is about to become fun."

• "i'm not sure how those two are related."

• "just trust me. i'm a pro at this."

• he also likes giving you headpats as much as he likes receiving them! his hands are quite big so he often runs his fingers through your hair when you're cuddling or hugging. it's especially relaxing after a long period of studying. also him carring you on his broad back ԅ(￣ε￣ԅ)

• you enjoy the little things in life and complain about your fathers together. you've agreed to wait a while before even mentioning your relationship to them because, honestly, Natsuo doesn't want any more horrible influences in your life.

• you get him sucked into the world of video games. it's always fun to watch him struggle but he never gets salty about losing maybe a lil he adores your smile as you laugh at him for being so bad at them.

• your dates include: helping out at animal shelters and retirement homes, video game and movie nights (especially about true crime), arcades and astronomy tower explorstions. i feel like Natsuo's more into traditional, romantic and chill dates and that's your usual thing. though i see sometimes you going to get coffee and ending up solving a 50-year-old murder case instead (✧ω✧)

❦︎ ink box

— despite Natsuo's best efforts to distance himself from Endeavor, it wasn't quite as easy and everyone was very much aware of the Todoroki family. and now the son of the number 1 hero had a lover.

— it wasn't actually that troublesome at first. some newpaper paparazzi occasionally annoyed you but you didn't care for them. most of the time Natsuo and you had your peace during dates aside from a few casual fans.

— but of course there are all sorts of people out there, some out for revenge, some for money, and being desperate means using even the lowest of methods to get what you want.

— so one time it happened, and it was all that took. several bitter villains thought they'd get their revenge through you, silly as it may sound. they made a big show of kidnapping you and demanding Endeavor to 'make up' for his wrongdoing. but all got resolved thanks to heroes, the only casualty being Natsuo's heart from almost exploding from worry and his deepening hatred for his father.

— later on, it wasn't that Natsuo was worried about you not being able to handle yourself, he feared what might happen if more of powerful villains came after you.

— so, after some debate, you agreed not to meet up for a short while to let the fuse of the incident settle down. it would be safer once the media forgot about it. you still texted and chatter over phone though!

— but then a week turned into two weeks, then into a month. you were wondering what was taking Natsuo to say the coast was clear and did a straight-up inquiry through a video chat.

— you could see he was restless the entire time. he said you should wait longer just to be sure everything was calm before meeting up. you became irritated because he was obviously lying and not being his normal, brutally honest self.

— why was he giving you this crap straight to your face?

— truthfully, Natsuo hadn't been sleeping all right recently. ever since that day he had reoccurring nightmares about something awful happening to you. they were just dreams, he knew. yet considering his ruffled up past and the frequency of those horrible visions, it would have been lie to say he was unaffected.

— paranoia just wouldn't leave him alone, and no matter how much he wanted to hold you in his arms again and hated making up stupid excuses, the voice at the back of his mind whispered this was for the best.

— after a month and a half had passed you've had just about enough, however. whatever reason he was keeping you in the dark for did no longer stop you from crashing into his house and demanding the truth.

— Natsuo knew you and expected this to eventually happen. after you made such a powerful entrance though he also knew there was no getting around it this time. really, it was comforting knowing you cared so deeply.

— he told you exactly what had been happening and you resisted the urge to punch him in the arm for having such a mindset. but the look in his beautiful grey eyes was so heartbreaking you threw yourself to embrace him instead. your touch was everything Natsuo had craved for for all this time.

— you skillfully assured him for the next couple of hours while keeping the talk light-hearted (he had obviously been overthinking way too much already). soon enough the issue was resolved and you had a sleepover right there to make uo for the lost time (Shoto and Fuyumi kept eavesdropping on you because y'all were being way too loud in a cute way).

— "i love you, Natsu, but if you ever keep something like this a secret from me again, i can't guarantee the safety of your arm or your front door."

♫︎ music box

— If I Had An Airplane by SayWeCanFly

— This December by Rick Montgomery

— Round & Laundry from Carole and Tuesday

— Haven't Had Enough by Marianas Trench

— Bowie On The Radio by Ryan McMullan

♡︎ runner up: Dabi / Touya Todoroki

thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoyed this! i'm really pleased about matching you with Natsuo, it's just so perfect. have a lovely day and remember to take care of yourself ♡︎

#len's matches #💥anon #matchups #bnha matchups

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tysonbaerrie · 4 years

Note

thank you for the last one it was perfect here’s another: jamie and tyler get interviewed after being the first active nhl players to come out (i’ll let you decide whether or not they’re together/whether or not they announce it)(i’ll also let you decide who’s more nervous and who’s more comforting bc honestly i can see it either way) thank uuuuu - ssbn (super specific bennguin bonnie)

Well, SSBN, after 84 years, here you go! It’s different from my usual style, but I hope you like it!

Tyler finds Jamie at the kitchen island, omelet in front of him as he scrolls through his social media. His hair is rumpled and unkempt, and Tyler wants to rub up against the well-worn Stars shirt Jamie put on when he came downstairs.

“None for me?” He asks instead, gesturing at his boyfriend’s breakfast.

“In the microwave.” Jamie replies around a bite. Tyler heats it up before settling into the stool next to Jamie’s.

“Thanks babe.” He tells Jamie, who shrugs but leans over to accept a kiss on his cheek from Tyler without taking his eyes off his phone.

Once breakfast is finished, Tyler cleans up the mess that Jamie made. He’s just put the last plate in the dishwasher when he feels Jamie spread himself across Tyler’s back, hooking his chin over Tyler’s shoulder.

“The article is out.” He tells him, and Tyler turns his head enough that he can see Jamie out of the corner of his eye.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jamie confirms, pushing his phone into Tyler’s hand, where the article with Outsports is already open.

After coming out, hockey superstars find support from team – and each other

“Did I know Jamie was the one when we met? Absolutely not.” Tyler Seguin laughs on the couch in the home he now shares with his teammate and boyfriend. A dog is resting at his feet, and he looks comfortable in a well-worn Dallas Stars hoodie – the number fourteen on the chest instead of Seguin’s own ninety-one. His nerves show, however, as he pulls at the frayed edges of the sleeves. “We were friends for years before we were anything more. I thought he was straight the first couple years we knew each other.”

“I thought I was straight.” Benn tells me later, looking decidedly uncomfortable at the prospect of talking about something so personal to a stranger. “I mean, I’d always dated women. I didn’t, uh…until Tyler.”

While there have been a few hockey players to come out in recent years, the Dallas Stars’ Captain Jamie Benn and his Alternate, Tyler Seguin, are the first players in the NHL to come out. The fact that they came out together allowed them to lean on each other in the media onslaught in the days that followed.

“It made it easier, to have someone there who was going through the same thing.” Benn admits. “I wasn’t alone in what was happening, and neither was Segs.”

In the days following their mutual Instagram posts, the internet exploded with comments, questions, and judgment. There were questions about Benn’s suitability to lead the Stars, so-called fans demanding that one or both be traded, signs at games that read Dallas Homos and the like. When I mention this, however, Seguin is quick to point out the undeniable support they’ve also seen. He shows me a picture he has saved on his phone of a young male fan at a recent game, a huge smile on his face as he held up a sign covered in rainbows that declared Bennguin Are My Heroes.

“I didn’t really have that, growing up.” Seguin admits. “There weren’t a lot of out athletes, and none who played hockey. I grew up thinking I couldn’t be gay and play hockey, that I had to choose. If some kid out there realizes that they can play hockey and be who they are, then it’s worth it.”

They’ve also received overwhelming support from their teammates, evidenced by the pride tape most of the team sported at the Stars’ first game after Benn and Seguin went public with their relationship.

“It doesn’t matter to anyone on the team.” John Klingberg admitted when questioned in a post-game interview. “Chubbs is still our Captain, Segs is still a leader on this team. If anything, it makes them stronger as leaders.”

Stars management has stood behind the players as well, General Manager Jim Nill expressing support for the faces of the Dallas franchise.

“Jamie and Tyler are important to this team, but they’re also good men and this organization supports them 100%, no question.”

“The team was behind us from day one.” Benn says, admitting that their teammates knew about their relationship for nearly a year before it became public. “You spend all your time with the same people, it’s impossible to keep a secret. But they’ve always had my back on the ice and they have it off as well.”

When asked what made them decide to come out, Benn shrugs, but Seguin reaching over and wrapping a hand around his wrist calms the Captain.

“I’m a pretty private person, but I didn’t want to hide anymore.” Benn admits. “I didn’t want to have to lie to people about the person I love.”

Seguin blushes at that, leaning into his boyfriend’s space.

“Same.” Seguin agrees, his smile blinding. “We didn’t want to have to only be ourselves behind closed doors, or wait until we retire to really live our lives.”

It’s a rare thing, being an out active player in professional sports, but when asked about being trailblazers, both are intent to shrug it off.

“Obviously, we both want to be known more for our hockey than our sexualities. But we knew that this would get a lot of attention. I guess we’re just hoping that it will help someone else be comfortable enough to come out when they’re ready.” Seguin says, looking to Benn. They’re comfortable with each other in a way that only comes with living in another person’s pocket for years. They’re partners, on and off the ice, clearly confident and settled with each other.

The photographer takes a couple of pictures before we leave their home, and while he’s packing up I watch as Benn leans into Seguin, resting his head on his shoulder as Seguin runs his fingers through Benn’s hair. The move is almost unconscious, and I suddenly feel as if I’m intruding on a private moment. Benn disappears shortly after that, and Seguin walks us to the door. It’s close to the end of the season, and I wish them luck in the playoffs as we say our goodbyes.

When the Stars lift the cup just a few months later to the roar of a hometown crowd, it’s Benn and Seguin lifting it together.

#hockey rpf #bennguin #jamie benn #tyler seguin #my writing #super specific bennguin nonnie #Anonymous

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marvinswriting · 4 years

Text

Northshore's couples, written by anonymous, about anonymous.

a crack idea bear and I had that I took seriously

g/t mean girls

November, 12th

Ifykyk.

Hey, Northshore! Welcome to a new section of the school newspaper. I've been fighting for a gossip blog for a hot minute now, and since the paper is dying down, Northshore is finally allowing it.

But this isn't just any gossip blog.

This is the place where I'm gonna -try- to answer your most burning questions about Northshore couples in question.

All through anonymity and observation.

To start, let's meet the students. All names have been changed so identities can stay hidden. In the tinies we've got: J, A, and R. Then in the giants there is: D, C, G, K, and S.

Who's with who? Who hates who? Who's got some secrets under the surface? Come back next week.

"Full offense to Northshore, this sounds stupid as fuck." Janis huffed, tossing down the newspaper, letting it fall to the table.

Karen looked at the small girl of Damian's shoulder.

"Why do you think?"

"Gossip blogs are unoriginal and boring. The school newspaper is grasping at straws."

"They can be fun when done right." Regina points out. "I say we check in next week and find out more about the students it's about."

"Whats-" Cady frowned. "What's a gossip blog?"

"Aww, baby's first gossip blog! We have to keep up with this one. Just for Cady." Damian said.

Karen watched with amusement as her friends discussed gossip blogs and if they were any good.

This will be fun.

November 19th

Love the feedback from last week guys! You're all as hyped as I am. And no. I won't confirm who your suspicions are. Stop slipping notes under the computer lab door.

This week J and D were seen together. (It's not uncommon.)

A was seen kissing C when they thought nobody was looking. But don't be fooled, somebody is always looking.

Not to be creepy or anything.

Just- we saw that, A.

You won't spot R without K or G anywhere near them, don't know if any of them are dating though.

Development into J and D's relationship as D is seen defending J from S. Sources couldn't hear what they were saying but it sounded pretty hostile. Is it just caring friends or something a little more?

This blog is focused around uncovering Northshore's couples once and for all. Have any tips? There's been a box placed by the computer lab door. Got any other people you want to see covered? Let me know!

Until next week, the anon who writes about anons. Xx!

"So," Cady looked down at her newspaper. "A gossip blog, is just talking about people?"

"Hence, the gossip part." Janis folder her own tiny newspaper, tossing it onto the cafeteria table from Damian's pocket. "And it's stupid."

"I wonder who it's about?" Gretchen said. "I know everything about everybody. But all this info? This is news to me."

"It's obviously about-" Karen paused. Was she the only one to figure it out?

Wasn't she the dumb one?

"Never mind. I dunno who it's about either."

"I don't understand why you care so much." Janis huffed.

"Because its fun to be nosey about lives that aren't ours. Duh." Regina said.

November, 26th

Happy Friday, Northshore!

Wow, lots of you sent in info about J and D. Whether you've cracked the code on who they are or maybe you're just observant of two fellow students- there is no denying they're pretty affectionate.

Since we're on the topic, let's start with J and D.

Kisses. Lots of them.

Romantic, or just friends? The duo themselves give pretty mixed answers so we must take matters into our own hands and draw our own conclusions. J was seen skipping class on multiple occasions and hiding with D. I hope J has a good tutor. I could never miss that much info.

R and G are seen together. K seems like they're third-wheeling. Somebody get them out of there. K, if you need a sos, slip a note in the box bby. We've got you.

If you want to talk about PDA, look no further than A and C. Wow! A hello kiss, a kiss kiss, a GOODBYE KISS? They may not say it themselves but those two are definitely a fairytale couple.

No updates to S. #singleforlife.

Sorry, S. If you're reading this.

"Well, A and C just sound gross." Janis frowns.

"Don't be negative, Jan." Damian shakes his head at the girl on the table. "They sound cute."

"Overly cute." Cady says.

"I'm glad somebody agrees." Janis huffed.

"Poor K. Thridwheeling a couple is awful." Gretchen sympathizes.

"We don't know if R and G are dating." Aaron points out. "We don't know if any of these people are dating. I'm kinda hooked."

"Well, third-wheeling best friends is even worse." Cady sighs, glancing at Damian and Janis.

Karen looked at the newspaper in her hands with a soft smile. She had a note to drop off.

December 3rd

Happppppy Friday! I have a big announcement right off the bat!

It is I, the writer, formally known as Anon. But now there's two of us! Me, the writer, and another student- the spy. Between the two of us (and your help from the box!) we're gonna crack these relationships open in no time!

This week's rundown!

R was with G the whole week. There was not one time they were separated.

A, J, and R were seen in the tiny halls together where A was overheard talking fondly about C.

Is there a fight for J?

D and S seem to never want to leave J alone.

Although, if you asked the writer, I'm totally team JD. Message for S? This isn't middle school anymore. Being mean to somebody isn't a good way to show your emotions. Message for D? You're doing fabulous, I'm rooting for you. Message for J? Pick fucking wisely.

I'm a bit biased but my info is not.

Don't you worry.

Until next week, you know where the box is! Xx.

"Aw, J and D sound like a cute couple." Regina cooes.

"A and C don't." Janis shook her head. "To sappy."

"Is Jan warming up to the gossip blog? And forming opinions?" Damian teased.

Karen shook her head in disbelief. The fact that her friends were yet to catch on-

-they were dense. Not idiots, just dense.

"S sounds like an asshole." Gretchen shook her head. "Bet its a boy. Yknow when a boy would pull your hair in elementary school and you'd get told, oh boys will be boys. He just likes you! Yeah. S is a dude for sure."

"Not every boy was like that. I wasn't." Damian said.

"You're gay." Janis rolled her eyes.

December 10th

Heyo Northshore! It's the writer. Might I say, you look wonderful today?

I don't see you but I'm sure you're just stunning.

A must be p r e t t y stupid because they were seen all this week studying with C. A kiss for every problem right? Hey, it's not a bad deal.

R was seen primarily with K this week, throwing off all previous theories.

Must have been a rough week for J. I'd imagine you've got to be stressed as hell to just break down randomly but guess what- they did. Lack of sleep? Hunger? S? Who knows what the culprit was.

But don't you worry, D was quick to whisk them off to someplace quiet.

Love to see it, I want a significant other like that.

The day they confirm their relationship is the day I expect a wedding invite.

See you next week! Xx.

"Wow! Looks like Jan isn't the only one in Northshore who needs to learn when to take a break before the break takes them." Damian deadpanned, lowing his newspaper.

Karen blinked. Are you kidding me?

"I was just tired." Janis huffed. "I needed a nap."

"I dunno man. A and C sound cheesy as fuck." Gretchen shook her head.

"They do. Now J and D though? That couple goals." Janis said.

Karen's hand shot to her mouth as she covered a laugh with a forced cough. "Couple? You think they're together?"

"For sure. They sound made to be!"

Oh dear.

December 17th

Winter break next week! Who's excited? We get full two weeks off this year and I'm so ready for a break.

I'll miss our resident couples in question though.

Not to throw everyone off but-

J spent the week with G. R spent the week with C. And A was with D?

Now granted by the time you're reading this print, this is two-week-old information- but why?

Did you get bored and just s w a p?

Anyway, I guess S wanted into the mix too? Because they took advantage of no D to try and get to J. It didn't work. G was there to protect our favorite JD ship. I'm not saying they're a cockblocker bc I don't wanna imply anything, but S is d e f i n it l y trying to get something out of J. Motive unclear but hey, we can assume :/

Gross.

Anyway, there were multiple fights that broke out that day so idk what yall were on but jesus christ calm down. Not relationship-related but be fucking nice to tineis.

Ugh.

K had no part in this swap of s/o but hey, they weren't third-wheeling anymore.

Xx!

"Be fucking nice to tinies!" Regina cheers.

"J and G?" Janis frowned at the tiny newspaper in her hands. "Sorry, only know about J and D."

"Janis went from, ew gossip, to I'd die to have JD confirmed, real fast." Aaron pointed out.

"As she should." Gretchen pointed out. "They sound cute as fuck.

"Hands down they're lesbians." Regina said.

Karen shook her head, totally dumbfounded.

January, 7th

Did you miss me! I missed you. Mwah.

Right off the bat-

Uh. The box has been filled with messages from S saying, they do not like J.

So I guess they're just an asshole.

Hey, just means team JD is gonna win.

Speaking of-

When J was asked directly they said that, I quote "D is the love of my life." But when asking D, I was told: "[J is] just a good friend". Sort your story idiots. The school wants to know!

While S may be out of the running, many sources say JC is a rising ship? Between A and C and J and C, I can't help but wonder, is there a behind the scenes JCA?

Fellow tiny students report A and J not being very close in the tiny hallways though. Now J and R tho-

J is just one lucky mate.

Who's your favorite? Let me know in the box! Xx.

"J and D." Janis says from her perch on Damian's shoulder.

Karen just looked at her phone.

"You think there's a threesome going on in school?" Gretchen asked.

"Unlikely. I don't even this A and C sound cute. Why add another." Aaron rolled his eyes.

You don't think-

Karen sighed.

She really should tell them but- it was so much funnier this was.

Janis stood up on Damian's shoulder, pressing a quick kiss to his jaw without motive.

Karen turned back to her phone, unsurprised if that would pop up in next week's article.

January 14th

I love you- signed the writer.

Glad we got that out of the way.

NOW.

This was quite the week for our "couples".

First off, D and J? PDA through the roof.

Idk, maybe it's a special week, or maybe we're paying more attention and they've always been like that.

Those tiny kisses aren't lost on me, J. I see all.

Ugh, so cute.

A and C are-

"Skip this passage," Janis whined. "Nobody cares about them."

Everyone around the lunch table nodded as Karen began to read out loud again.

G kissed R?! R might have given a scowl but bystanders didn't miss the blush. Platonic or something more? That's the big question of this article but hey- this is a big step for all you GR shippers. Sorry to whoever wrote that long letter in the box passionately explaining how JR was peak friends to enemies to lovers.

Shame.

#JD, anyway, you know where the box is! Xx.

"Fuck A and C. All my homies hate A and C." Janis grinned.

Cady nodded. "They're too cliche. It's annoying and I don't even know who they are."

Karen placed her head on the table with a groan.

She may not be smart, but these people were flat out idiots.

She felt a tug on her hair and looked up, resting her chin on the table.

"You okay, Karen?" Janis stood in front of her, Newspaper held at her side.

"Yeah, just dying on the inside a bit. Yknow, leaf emoji."

Janis made a face. "I don't but uh-" She leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to Karen's nose. "Don't leaf emoji. We like you here, alive on the inside."

Karen smiles. "Thanks, Janis."

January 21st

Just when you think it's all figured out- J kisses K.

In front of D.

At this point- they're all together. One big happy family.

I'm still clinging onto my JD dream.

Speaking off-

S is back. Did you miss them? Me neither.

They just grabbed J like nothing? Anyway, D was there to save the day obviously.

Our great big hero got a pretty precious nose kiss from J.

I could make their own newspaper section about how cute they are. There is no way you can be that cute and n o t already engaged.

On another J note, if JD doesn't happen, I'd be pretty content with some CJ. C was seen giving J "a nice-sized smooch" (somebody from the box).

No development in the R and G category, just their usual cuteness.

Leave any tips in the box! You know where it is. Xx.

"Uh uh. JD over CJ." Janis shook her head.

Karen just placed the newspaper in her bag. Janis and Damian were quick to become J and D's biggest shippers. They were so good at confusing the school about their relationship status that they had themselves fooled.

Cady and Aaron, who were dating and just won't confirm it, hated C and A's relationship. Calling it cheesy and artificially sweet.

And Regina though R sounded like a bitch and G deserved somebody better.

The whole thing was just crazy.

"I gotta go talk to a teacher this period. It was fun reading the paper together though." Karen said getting up.

There was a chorus of 'bye Karen's as she walked away.

The newspaper holder in the hallways was empty. Northshore's 'couples' was quick to catch on and save the newspaper program.

Karen pushed the door open to the computer lab, making her way over to the tiny end.

"Hey, Glen."

Glen Coco looked up at her with a grin. "Got anything for me, spy?"

@realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @musicallygt

#this was fun to write #g/t #g/t mean girls #Giant/tiny #g/t writing #tiny janis #tiny regina #tiny aaron #giant damian #giant gretchen #giant cady #giant karen #tiny glen

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faejilly · 4 years

Note

Not to be suddenly serious on your completely justified salt re: Jace -> my salt was bc s1 Jace was insufferable and frustrating!! Every time I really truly wanted to let it go or maybe cut him some slack bc I'm not entirely unsympathetic to him, he somehow managed to double down on his bs :/ Like I was willing to move on from him acting pissy when werewolves took Clary and the infamous 'maybe your mom..." in 1x05, but he, no, he dropped "yes, you did. you lost her" when Alec said he didn't do

anything Jace hadn't done before. What is worse this shit was followed by his entitled self-righteous behavior in 1x06 like you don't get to treat Alec crappy and then demand his help and act as if he's supposed to simply come around (unpopular opinion but I don't like their scene at the end of 1x06). And this is only one example! Thus, I'm like Alec's punches, verbal and actual ones alike, were lethal and brutal and I'm not unsympathetic to Jace but his stupid dumb ass had it coming

[re: this post]

I mean

I agreed with your salt the first time nonny, but

The show tells us that Jace loves Alec and would die for him. It tells us that he’s a good Shadowhunter, an excellent fighter and a valued soldier. That means that for everyone to believe such things (and they clearly do), historically he gets the job done, values the parabatai bond itself (we see that he was the one who pushed for it, in fact) and regularly protects Alec to the best of his ability. The show explicitly tells us all these things, makes it clear that’s how everyone else views their relationship, that that past is both well-known and well-supported by the other characters’ behavior.

Does the show actually show us any of that beyond a few brief moments in s1? No. But. It’s not, on a technical level, a very good show. It frequently says one thing and shows something else and clearly never notices the disconnect.

This means, if we’re stupidly invested in the characters (like I am, obviously) we need to look at the show and decide what we think canon was trying to say, whether that’s actually what it said or not.

Where does that leave us with Jace?

You can absolutely look at canon and decide Jace is a spoiled asshole who they’d mostly be better off without. (Obviously that’s not where I ended up, but you do you, darlings. It’s ok to hate the fictional character, god knows there are a ton of them I think their assorted media would be better without.)

Is he a con artist who wants to be thought of as a good man and has somehow fooled the entire NY Institute with his charm and ability to kill things? (Jace would say yes, he has several moments where he refers to himself as irredeemable, or monstrous, or dark, or useless. He believes he’s a terrible person.) This is, tbqh, supported by a lot of his behavior towards Alec, he’s lashing out and cruel and dismissive in a way that is very hard to watch, and doesn’t seem to actually have much to do with Clary at all, even though she’s positioned as the reason for this behavior. (I think, instead, she is, as usual, the catalyst for change rather than the cause.)

But Alec and Izzy clearly adore him, and they’re not generally tolerant of cruelty.

So what the fuck is he doing?

Jace was an abused child, who’s still very young, and is aggressively against any sort of self-assessment or self-reflection, because he’s sure if he looks too closely he’s going to see that he’s a monster, that his father broke him, that there’s no coming back from that. (And in some ways, he’s right, he’ll never know what it’s like to be a person who wasn’t abused, and for as long as he tries to pretend it doesn’t matter, he’s never going to be able to set it aside.) So he doesn’t, on any deep level, know who he is. He relies on other people to define himself. (He relies on Alec, and then Izzy, and then the rest of the Lightwoods, and after that maybe everyone else, but clearly they’re not that important.)

I think, based on how angry he is when Simon tries to call out his behavior towards Alec, how confused he is when Alec isn’t just always there at his shoulder for whatever insanity he’s trying to do next, Jace’s entire life is framed around an idealized version of Alec as his center.

He doesn’t really relate to Alec as a person. Alec is his proof of humanity. Alec is his parabatai, they share souls, Alec is the reason Jace isn’t entirely a monster.

Just mostly.

Now, Jace knows Alec is gay. Jace cannot deal with that fact, because Shadowhunters are not allowed to be gay. Jace seems aware of this in a way that Isabelle isn’t, seems aware that if Alec is forced out of the closet that he could lose his brother, his anchor, his soul-bond.

And I like to think it’s because of Michael Wayland.

The show never addresses this, but the books do, and we know everyone making the show read the books, so. We have Jace, who knows his “father” was Robert’s parabatai, (that’s why he got sent to the Lightwoods after his father’s death, after all) and also that, despite being parabatai, they weren’t together anymore. Their bond was so weak Robert didn’t even know when Michael died. (He can’t have, or Valentine’s masquerade never would’ve worked.) It’s not an entirely unreasonable leap to assume Jace would’ve wanted to know why, how such a thing happened to a literal soul-bond... and that he found out that Michael was gay, and that was probably why he’d been “exiled” away to his estate. Whether Michael self-exiled to get away from Robert’s reaction, or Robert discreetly ‘encouraged’ him to get away from The Clave kind of doesn’t matter... the end result was that Jace was alone in the Wayland Estate (with a monstrous father) for the first ten years of his life, and he can’t let that happen again, not to himself, and not to Alec.

(Is this in canon anywhere? No, but it fits, and I like it, so.)

If Alec admits he’s gay, Jace will lose him. So Jace can’t let him do that. Which means he clearly can’t ever address Alec’s infatuation with him, either. Which means a lot of conversations about emotions or friendship or personal beliefs can’t be had, because Jace is always almost as much on guard against Alec’s secrets as Alec is, and every time they don’t talk about any of the things they know about each other, that’s another layer of armor between them and the truth (and a better relationship).

But that’s ok with Jace because he’s doing it for Alec. (Whether it seems like that to Alec himself or not.) Alec is the one who made sure the Lightwoods were Jace’s family, not just a place to stay. Alec saved him, from his father, from his past, from a future where he never did anything right.

There’s a line when they’re outside the City of Bones, when Alec is asking Jace why this girl? and Jace says something about Lightwoods take in strays, don’t they? And he is so clearly trying to be a Lightwood, (not just Jace Wayland), trying to do for Clary what Alec did for him, making that behavior an explicit compliment to Alec. (I am being like you.)

And instead of affirming that, yes you’re a Lightwood, yes you’re doing the right thing, yes you’re saving someone, I’m so proud of you, Alec says you’re nothing like her.

Now, Alec says “you were never a stray” because protecting Jace & Izzy is important enough to him that he’s afraid of protecting Clary, because it’s going to put Jace & Izzy in danger. He’s saying you’re better than her, you’re more important to me.

But what Jace hears is you’re not doing the same thing, you’re not doing the right thing, you’re not like me.

And for all there’d been sniping and aggravation earlier, for all Jace met Clary and went ooooh, shiny, and made a whole slew of reckless decisions, I really believe that that moment outside the City of Bones is when their relationship broke. (Which makes the fact that the physical conflict in their relationship breaks free outside the City of Bones as well several episodes later surprisingly poetic.)

So now, for the first time, Alec disagrees with Jace, and Jace can tell he’s serious about it... and Jace thinks he’s wrong. And Jace doesn’t know what to do with that. (If Alec is an ideal rather than a person, than Alec can’t do anything wrong, and Alec going along with all of Jace & Izzy’s shenanigans must mean they weren’t that wrong either, not that Alec is too over-protective and has massive issues regarding responsibility and self-esteem and personal value.)

When someone falls off the pedestal you’ve put them on, it’s only human nature to blame them for failing you, rather than realize that pedestal wasn’t fair and you’re the one who put them up there, and pushed them off again when they couldn’t meet your impossible expectations. So Jace lashes out, because how dare you, the only person I could trust and respect unconditionally, be wrong!

Which is egregiously unfair, so I agree, he deserved Alec practically trying to kill him, though it’s obviously horrifying that that’s how far it had to go for him to realize what he was doing.

But it’s not surprising, both because of his inability to look at himself and that pedestal he’s got Alec on... it would take something cataclysmic to break through both those mindsets.Which is why it took Clary breaking the entire Shadow World to also break their issues out into the open. They were both too well-guarded to do it themselves.

#shadowhunters #sh meta #my sh rambling #jace wayland #jace lightwood #parabatai feels #I guess?#sorry nonny this got a little out of hand #again #*snorts*#Anonymous #jilly answers

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heeres-suffering · 4 years

Text

Be More Alluring: a Personality Swap AU

[pic description and source will be at the bottom of this post, under the read more]

Start of summary:

“You need to be more alluring.”

"... don’t you mean attractive?”

“I do not. Your attractiveness is adequate, Brooke; if you want to mask your apparently latent queerness, you have to make them want you straight. Isn’t that why your step-father defended you?”

Brooke Lohst is a loser.

But you know what? That was okay.

She always knew she was a weird one. The intensity of her affection for puppies, picture books, and near-constant daydreaming has lasted well-past a normalcy she can’t seem to grasp; when coupled with her inability to befriend anyone (besides the similarly self-identified loser Michael Mell), it’s not a surprise the rest of her peers have left her behind.

However, there were... ah, worse things in her life to worry about then some mild bullying. She liked her passion well enough, and all of her true insecurities went largely unnoticed, so any insults or weird looks rarely lingered in her mind. It’s not like she was a constant target either, which helped a lot. All in all, she just planned to hunker down, wait out the awkwardness of High School like everyone else, and move on to the rest of her life...

Except.

When Brooke develops a crush on a girl she’s never talked to, after years of avoiding fairy tale romance and trying not to think about the inevitability of marriage (or how finicky her attraction to boys is in the first place), it feels like her whole world is about to cave in. She’d do anything to make sure her parents, especially daddy, never find out... including buying an edible super computer from the loudest, tiniest guy in school.

End of summary.

Alright!

Hi, hello, it’s Mod Seb, and here’s an AU I’ve been rolling around for a few days! You are free to do with this concept whatever you want, but I wanted to introduce it with a good chunk of the info I’ve already worked out in my head.

So. As the CWs are... too numerous, I’m going to go with a blanket “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” label and encourage you not to read the rest of this if you have any big darkfic triggers that could be upset by mere mention; this isn’t a fic tho, so descriptions of anything awful won’t last long.

Although, I will mention upfront that Brooke isn’t a binary lesbian. I know the description might read like I’m setting her up to be 100% homosexual; she’s bi with a strong preference for girls, and anyone who presents soft enough in gender or appearance. If it wasn’t for the end-game pairings, her unfamiliarity with smaller details/history of the LGBTQ+ community, and general “gay newb” status, she’d likely ID as a bi lesbian!

(ships and everything else under the Read More)

Okay. That out of the way, there’s quite a number of pairings; I’m pretty sure it’s a super polyamorous and sexual AU, though you’re free to change this list as much as you’d like:

[bolded are end-game ships. italics physically hook up at least once. strike-through means they were in a relationship but break-up in some way before the ending. (H) stands for healthy, while (T) is toxic and/or noncon. underlined characters are pining for the other and may never confess their true feelings]

Brooke/Christine (H), Brooke/Rich (H), Brooke/Jenna (H), Brooke/Michael (H), Brooke/Chloe (T), Brooke/her Daddy (T), Brooke/Squip (H), Brooke/Jeremy (soft T at first bc of mirrored canon-compliant manipulation, H later on), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy (H), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy/Rich (H), Rich/Moses (H), [insert every form of Rich/Mo/Squip/Jeremy here] (H), Jeremy/Chloe (T), Jeremy/Michael (H), Michael/Christine (H), Michael/Christine/Mr. Heere (H; no, seriously), Madeline/Brooke (H)

This is, of course, a role swap AU where Brooke and Jeremy trade places based on my personal lore for their home lives. I always have some pretty fucked ideas as I don’t imagine MB is a great place with great adults, and I pick and choose which parts of canons I use and which I don’t.

There is no definite ending planned in mind as this isn’t an outline; it’s meta (or an imagine or w/e) for an AU that you’re free to do whatever with.

So,

The big difference is that Brooke was picked by Michael, while Jeremy was picked by Chloe. Jeremy is trans and hadn’t come out yet; if Chloe had known he was a boy, she wouldn’t have grabbed him. In contrast, Michael’s never gave a shit about potential friends genders.

Jer and B’s personalities... are altered some. Not ALL the way, but kiiinda fusing into their roles, kinda tweaked (I'll get back to that).

The main point of this for me was Brooke/Squip/Jeremy, with B/Jer having a MUCH stronger focus than in canon, and a really bad Chloe acting as one of the major villains.

Michael gets roped into Chloe’s shit, even tho he's still generally a good guy here, bc he's worried about B and thinks she can't properly take care of herself.

While B DOES have a strong crush on Christine, she’s the opposite of the Squip’s “goal”; that’s (obvs) masking, or making passably digestible, her queerness.

Her Mom and step-’Daddy’ have reacted to her friendship w/ ‘openly gay moms, also very flamboyant and GNC’ Michael... poorly.

Michael thinks the solution has to be “act as aggressively yourself as you can, and if they reject you, you know me and the mom’s have a space for you”. This works for him bc he’s permanently hyper-visible, what with all of his own marginalized identities. But, not only has she flied under the radar in comparison to him for years, he doesn’t know everything about her life.

In fact, he doesn’t know most of it. She’s very good at hiding things.

Meanwhile, Jeremy, one of the more popular ‘boy... ish’ (we’ll get to this, too) people in school, is mid-psychosis and self-destruction. He actually has schizo-affective disorder--as is the case with all of my versions of Jeremy--which he needs medication for. Combined that with so many bad influences and trauma, he can no longer fully control himself or his life.

The way he handles this (badly) is to ‘whore around’--which, besides being Chloe’s pet, is kinda why he’s so popular. Nobody respects him, but he’s viewed some form of favorably.

Jeremy is in a relationship with Rich, but he won't let him get as close/protective as Rich wants; Mo and Rich were doing their own man-whoring (but healthy, just droppin’ panties and making dudes and chicks swoon--yeah, Rich is out as bisexual, this is a very ‘the Squips are a good thing’ AU) to gain their standard reputation, but in the course of that, they got together with Jeremy and it became... complicated. Both of them are very "nnn" about how bad his life is for Jer.

The way that their personalities are altered is... okay. To explain this, I have to talk about my characterization of canon-Brooke and Jeremy in relation to this, starting with Brooke:

I imagine B as just a liiittle below the line of "all the way there" for sorta-similar reasons to Jeremy here: trauma, and Chloe (which is why that’s what Jeremy gets in this, it’s just WAY worse when compounded by everything else). She’s also--like me, and like almost every character I write as a result--autistic, in a near-permanent state of “not enough accommodations” and over-stimulation. This leads to a lot of dissociation and a very wandering mind, as well as being perceived as a bimbo or dumb blonde or w/e misogynistic bullshit is projected onto her by the boys she dates (she’s also much more down the middle bi outside this AU).

So, going back to how she is for this AU: she's actually not super nerdy, despite the close connection she and Michael have. Honestly, it’s their general neurodivergent weirdness that bring them together, and so she’s mostly adopted her nerdy interests through him, whether directly a thing he likes, or finding a whimsical variant that fits her tastes.

Obviously, unlike Jeremy, she doesn’t mind being called a loser. She does any insinuation she might be queer. This including anyone who calls her gay or a dyke.

She has too much Cis Male Trauma (unlike canon, where it comes from both cis angles) to really entertain the idea of a Traditionally Male Partner. This means she skews HEAVILY towards hard GNC guys at the very least, and generally finds herself most interested in the idea of enbies and women. she's also not super into butches tho, bc her trauma mixing with her sexuality has latched on to Strong Masc People Are A Threat.

An expansion on her interests, in canon and otherwise: animals, ASMR/sensual service work (including massages and stuff), spending hours just sorta sitting by herself and letting her imagination wander, fairy tales, and YA-and-under fantasy books.

(Here, she tries to avoid het or f/f romance... except that, this past year or two, she’s started really like m/m stuff--esp after getting REALLY into drag shows, which she could enjoy safely since girls like Chloe have gotten into them too; in canon, she’s a romance fanatic)

Now... this is one of the really darkfic element; she's fucking her step-dad.

She does this so that he doesn't walk out on her, her mom, and her little sister*. Her mom has a good-enough job as a standard office woman, but he makes enough to pay the rent on their nice townhouse and all the bills she can’t. So, after he expressed interest in Brooke and then casually mentioned he could always just leave if she wasn’t comfortable, she reluctantly entered a relationship with him

(* = her sister is currently know as her brother; he’s like 12 or 13, and started showing signs of trans/queerness which have been Heavily Discouraged. Brooke worries about him a lot)

((I didn’t use she/her pronouns bc I’m not entirely sure he would change them? This is an OC Oli created at the beginning of our interest in BMC, and we haven’t worked on him at all since, so how his characterization will be is up in the air))

Canonically, Brooke's "in love" with her daddy, which is a self-imposed delusion; if she actually addressed it, she’d says she’s well aware that’s not true, but it's so much easier to pretend when you’re cornered like that. Brooke’s life blows.

She’s a lot more honest to herself about hating him here; still, she tries to be as polite and generally-friendly as she can, doing what he says whenever he wants.

OKAY, THAT’S BROOKE. If any of that is badly described or potentially-offensive, it’s just bc I glossed over SO MUCH DETAIL, even in that amount of it!

So. Jeremy.

I don’t have to go over him much and we’re all mostly aware of how I feel about him and also I don’t have the energy to do this again--

(just... read my fics The Devil at your Door or hello yesterday or something... eyyy actually do that, my ao3 username is Sedusa, blah blah blah ANYWAY)

--but basically: He's still very nerdy, like, he’s super into film as well as video games (which is another constant for me), but after being largely ignored in elementary, he's been trailing behind Chloe at her orders since they were in 6th grade. As a result he isn't very open about... any of his interests.

In 7th grade, he came out as trans to everyone. Chloe was furious, but at the same time, intrigued; this was around the time Chloe gets her own... ah shit I gotta go into that too--

--yet another hc of mine is that Chloe gets a Squip on accident around this time at a party (there was one in a “”candy bowl””), and from there, she claws her way up the ladder. I... will not go into that much, but her Squip was crippled by the drugs and alcohol in her system, and therefore largely at her mercy. She’s used his power to manipulate certain things about herself and to sharpen her focus on popularity to the point she’s full-blown Alpha Bitch.

Man, I’ve had to go on so many tangents, I apologize.

Anyway, she drags Jeremy around as a punching bag. She constantly mocks Jeremy's transness, even though she usually calls him by his correct name and pronouns.

This has made the rest of the school follow her lead, hence why I said “boy-ish”; he’s popular, he’s technically ‘well liked’, but nobody really takes him seriously. This is compounded by Chloe’s refusal to let him dress in 'dorky' casual clothes, and, as he’s both too poor to afford designer clothes and also generally hates popular guy fashion, he has to wear the hyper femme clothing Chloe specifically tells him too/

As such, people call him a boy but largely see him as either an idiot, a slut, an attention seeker, or all of the above.

So of course, in Brooke's place, his neurodivergence is more prominent than ever; every day he slips further into this psychosis and self-infantilization haze, as his his mom leaving, his dad severely depressed, Chloe's sexual violence, and other repressed trauma (see: my fic hello yesterday on ao3) all weighing on him. This makes him INCREDIBLY regressed, like, all the time by Junior year.

And then Brooke's Squip (IE: canon Squip) falls in love with Jeremy extremely fucking hard. He pushes her to date him as a way to compromise on her queer desires, since Jeremy is technically a boy, and certainly a few other straight-ish girls have hooked up with him in the past.

WHEW. That is a fucking lot. To wrap this up, lemme go over the interpersonal relationships not already mentioned, and what directions I think it takes.

First off, Madeline has a more prominent role, as I quite like her tbh; she’s a sex worker, she has her own Squip, she’s one of Chloe’s most hated enemies, and she gravitates towards both Brooke and Jeremy. She’s also Actually French, Chloe’s just weird.

(Anyway she prolly sees through Brooke’s straight act and asks her why she’s pretending to be a good little cishet. It rattles Brooke.)

Chloe is scum. This bears repeating. She DEFINITELY rapes Brooke at the Halloween party, and becomes obsessed with her, along with already being obsessed with Jeremy and Jake.

Jake, by the way, has a lot of regressive behavior and impulsiveness bc he’s been in an abusive relationship off and on with Chloe for years now.

Speaking of Jake, moving on to his best bro: Rich doesn’t set himself on fire. He’s having a good time with his Squip.

But.

He IS set on fire at the Halloween party.

Instead of the Smartphone Hour being about Rich's instability, it's actually about the mystery of Someone Did It To Him But No One Saw Who It Was, They Were Disguised.

The answer relates to the fact that Rich and Brooke are ALSO hooking up, after she’s already with Jeremy, bc he Properly introduces her to him and the three of them hit it off really well.

(She initially wasn’t interested, but while Rich is loud and still kinda abrasive, his Squip doesn’t drive him to act like a bully--and in private, his nerdiness is really obvious and he’s extremely gentle with her and Jeremy. Add to that that he’s bi and trans*, when Brooke connects best w/ queer men over cishet one, and it off-sets his masc-ness enough to make him an Exception.

* = I always imagine him as trans. See: all of Vanceypants fics.)

Sooo... the culprit is actually Brooke's daddy, who sees her with this obvious heartthrob and Cannot let that be.

Chloe convinces Michael that the Squips are Very Very Bad and has him team up with her to force Brooke into drinking Red, with the intention to convince him to kill himself after to get him out of the way, bc she’s really going nuts at this point.

Eventually, he snaps out of it when he and Christine get together (he’s thought he was Full Homo all of his life, but Christine’s prolly genderqueer-ness makes him realize “oh shit, I’m bisexual”) and she starts to question why he’s acting the way he is towards Christine.

He also definitely has a crush on Jeremy and during his time with Chloe he kinda tried to flirt a little but couldn’t really... he’s not up for dating someone as sexually active and a push-over as Jeremy is in this.

However, when he snaps out of Chloe’s manipulation, he and Christine approach Mr. Heere to convince him to straighten up and help Jeremy and also bc they really need an adult to successfully fight Chloe.

This requires a month+ of Christine getting him to see her psychiatrist (the one who prescribes her ADHD meds). Jeremy spends the majority of his time staying with Chloe, and very rarely comes home to gather things or to make sure his dad is eating/still alive, as much as he can remember to in his own haze of mental illness. Anyway, point is, he doesn’t know Christine and Michael are there often... not that, in the course of growing close to Mr. H, they both fall for him hard and it becomes one of my stranger OT3s.

(God, Jeremy goes through a lot of shit in this, tho.)

Pre-Squip, Jenna was kinda-sorta Brooke’s friend--or, well, friendly. However, she’s actually full blown “oh my God she’s wonderful” in love with Brooke.

Brooke isn't aware of that, esp since Jenna tries her not to be around her a lot. She's also trying to hide her own queerness, bc she’s a trans woman and she knows Chloe finding that out would be extremely dangerous.

Eventually, Chloe succeeds in making Brooke take the Red months after canon usually ends, w/o Michael’s help. If you’re curious, Red doesn’t affect her normal Squip bc she’s had him too long and a lot of his receptors and stuff are damaged, so it’s the second one she gets in canon that turns off.

This plan backfires, however, as Brooke’s Squip comes back with a physical body w/ help from Rich and also-bodied-now Moses.

With a body, and shenanigans, Mo and Squip take out Brooke’s daddy too. His life insurance more than makes up for the loss of his income, as it’s a sizable amount. Now that Brooke feels more empowered and strong, she overrides her mother’s neglectfulness and takes control of the household w/ her boyfriends*, comes out as queer, helps her sister transition, and begin to heal from all of this trauma.

(* = Rich and Mo move in, as does Jeremy eventually, after graduation; Jeremy gets a psychiatrist and a therapist and prolly has to go through some intense outpatient care and possibly a stay in the hospital, before finally making major breakthroughs and looking like himself again. The five of them are now happy and in love.)

Chloe, after her arm gets twisted by the Squip’s protective presence so thoroughly, gives up on Jeremy and Brooke to focus on Jake. This too gets abandoned when Rich and Mo help him cut her off, and so she stays in her own popularity bubble, bitter, until graduating and going to a community college in a different state.

All in all, things work out well in the end, but getting there is a long, difficult process. This AU fascinates me immensely and feels like a great way to examine some of my really dark headcanons about MB, as I think it’s a town similar to Derry in Stephen King’s IT--as in, just chronically The Worst Place Ever, with this, like, miasma of low-key despair around it. People adjust and don’t question it, which is why so much of BMC is this flippant dark humor in the face of some highly questionable shit.

I’m so sorry this post is so long (I’ll be uploading it to AU under my usual Sedusa account, as metas like this are more than allowed), but I really adore these characters and the way they can be twisted around, so I had a lot to say!

Thank you for reading <3

-mod Seb

image description: virtual-like stairs pointed forward and bathed in neon yellow and blue to represent Brook and Jeremy, which I’ve modified from the original blue-only design.

source: x (link description: a free Wallpaper Flare image that I found off Google Image’s “filtered by ‘labeled and reuse with modification” feature)

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annavolovodov · 5 years

Text

ya girl saw the downton movie and has some Thoughts

if you followed me at all from 2011-2015 then you'll know i am firmly Team Downstairs and did not want this movie to happen, just so you all know what position i'm coming from here.

everything below is gonna be spoilery af. if you haven't seen it yet and want info just hmu. if you have seen it and want to talk about it please message me bc i’m always up for chatting about Downton.

okay but the title sequence with the music building and cresting as we come up over the hills and get our first shot of downton... goosebumps. tbh i don't know shit about film making but i can't fault the technical aspects (costumes, music, cinematography). the impact of the increased budget was felt from the very first second.

for the plot i’m gonna split things by character to make it easier. i’ll probably go to see it again and maybe after that i’ll have some deeper Thoughts but i missed being able to liveblog during the film so enjoy my rambling first reactions.

upstairs peeps

everything with violet was iconic. i'm glad that they didn't neglect her relationship with isobel and ofc maggie and imelda played fantastically off each other. pretty much everyone has already highlighted the scene with violet and mary at the end and it tied things up perfectly between them. violet and mary are so so similar and violet has been pushing for her to inherit since before S1. the movie showed us that mary is basically running the estate even if she doesn't get the the title and i can totally see why violet is confident in the future of downton now. that being said, i don't think violet will actually die. maggie has been talking about leaving since 2012 and fellowes obviously put this in as a get-out clause for her should she want to go, but i reckon they’ll convince her to do more. if carson's palsy can be mysteriously cured, so can violet's conveniently vague illness.

i already knew that robert and cora weren't gonna be in it much, but i wish we could've seen cora finding out what was happening with edith and helping her out. it wouldn't surprise me if there was a deleted scene there cause that whole storyline felt a little disjointed. i completely forgot that cora knew about the pregnancy and was so confused at how the queen foud out about it all. i don't think we got anything in robert and cora's bedroom, or anything with cora/baxter and robert/bates, which would've also been very welcome but i guess they can only fit in so much.

onto mary: this may be an unpopular opinion but god i miss her long hair. yeah i know it wasn't the style of the time but her wig in this one was tragic and they need to fix it. i absolutely love that t*lbot didn't exist for a solid 95% of this movie and mary got her rightful place ruling downton. i wouldn't say i’m the biggest mary fan but her arc felt like one of the more satisfying ones of the movie imo.

as someone who has been firmly #teamedith from day one i am delighted to see my girl happy and successful. literally all her outfits were A+ and not to be gay on main but those scenes of her in her nightclothes getting ready for bed gave me my rights. i’m sad that she seems like she's either given up her magazine or has less of a role in it now based on what they said outside???? she did seem unsatisfied with aspects of her position so hopefully she'll go back to doing some writing and publishing cause that was a good fit for her, and if edith and bertie are “modern” enough to travel without servants surely edith moving away from traditional grand lady duties and back to her magazine that wouldn't be an issue.

the mention of sybil being gone seven years? yeah. thanks for the pain. tom accidentally saving the monarchy on no less than two occasions is the ultimate "congratulations you played yourself" moment but the fact he thought the army had sent someone to check up on him is the level of republican i'm trying to be on. i'm a bit ehhhh on his relationship with lucy, mainly cause i'd rather the screentime given to the newbies had went to established characters. but like sybil/tom was a wholeass epic romantic slowburn spanning several years through a war and across class divisions n shit and meanwhile lucy/tom have known each other for forty eight hours and had three conversations in a hallway so like obviously that’s just gonna pale in comparison????? like it just is???? i guess i don't hate it but it just was a bit unnecessary and the time coulda been spent on better things.

isobel didn't have all that much to do on her own but i appreciated her scenes with violet and i love that she was the one to figure out that lucy was lady whatever's daughter. penelope wilton's facial expressions during some of the exchanges with violet were great. i see lord merton has also undergone a miraculous recovery from his apparently serious anaemia but he also didn't appear much which was a big win for me!

team downstairs aka the ones i turned up to see

as a downstairs supremacist who has watched the screentime distribution in previous fifty two eps of the show, it’s fair to say i had low expectations going in. i expected a grand total of 10 minutes for the servants combined and i think that's why i was unexpectedly happy with what we got. ideally we would've ditched the subplots involving the personal lives of the royals and all the stuff w imelda staunton and her maid but oh well it could’ve been worse and i'll take any breadcrumbs i can get. anyway i'm eagerly awaiting the team downstairs cut of the film one of yall will hopefully make when the dvd comes out. the only part that was far, FAR too upstairs heavy for me was the last sequence of the film after the royals left and i think we would've benefitted from rounding things off with team downstairs after the ball.

so i guess retirement magically cured the palsy carson had, but i guess after matthew’s miraculous recovery anything can happen at downton when it comes to health. Fellowes is getting a free pass for retconning this one cause i cba with more death/loss. mary going to carson for help and him immediately coming to her aid was very sweet. kinda wish we'd find out what he was up to post-Downton (except for his gardening) tho.

i was expected zero carson/hughes content in this movie and yet !!!! and yet!!!!!! we were somewhat well-fed. like carson (incorrectly) thinking he can control the other servants and mrs hughes' "oh that went well charlie, start as you mean to go on" hdjksjs i love them. and the lil scene in their cottage ugh. also we got more of them using their first names and yeah i guess that makes sense given they've been married for a while now but as i said, i had low expectations.

mrs hughes is still like the best person ever but wbk. her vs. the royal housekeeper = iconic. i kinda felt bad for royal whatsherface in some ways because she clearly didn't know who she was up against THE elsie hughes who has vanquished much scarier foes in her time. the other servants were never gonna win that battle.

the 0.5 seconds of baby bates *chef's kiss* perfection. god i am slightly bitter it was only 0.5 seconds given the fuckin multiseason journey leading up to his birth. tbh we should've ditched everything involving the personal lives of the rando new characters and let baby bates have some of that time but fellowes loves upstairs too much to let that happen. the small interaction was adorable though and i'm glad the mention of his name was subtle enough that we can retcon it cause i truly believe anna and bates would've came up with a more creative choice than that. genuinely i'm so curious about their whole living situation and how they cope with a smol child while working full time but i doubt fellowes even considered that so y’know. what can we do. i enjoyed the breadcrumbs but i wanted more.

i did go into this film with the mindset of "something awful will probably happen to anna or bates," cause that's what usually happens in these things but plot twist!!!! we saw them smile on multiple occassions!!!! what a nice change for us all! i swear every time anna bates smiles an angel gains their wings. her scenes with mary were good and i'm happy their friendship made it into the film. you know what else i was happy to see? the EXTREMELY UNDERRATED brotp between anna and baxter. there was a couple of moments with them standing next to each other or talking to each other and it warmed my heart. like yass two of my fave people are friends. it's a big win for me.

i'm sure i read something about brendan being involved in another project which meant he couldn't film too much (i'm curious to whether this impacted the lack of baby bates scenes?) and while it's true that bates didn't have a ton of scenes, i didn't feel like he was absent which was good.

thomas had the best storyline imo. i don't blame him for being angry that mary brought in carson and it was actually very iconic of him to go off in the library like that. i found it hilarious that while everyone else was panicking at downton he went off on gay adventures. i really wish we'd gotten this "thomas makes a gay friend then discovers the village's underground gay scene THEN gets a boyfriend" in the show cause that would've been SO MUCH BETTER than some of the other stuff that got stretched out across the last couple series (like the love quadrangle with daisy/ivy/alfred/jimmy). like, imagine thomas’ movie plot as a series-long arc. the impact. i liked the guy that was his maybe-boyfriend and i hope any continuation keeps that relationship going.

mrs p and daisy continue to be the mother-daughter duo of the century. i thought both of them were supposed to be moving to the farm post-S6 but i suppose that would've meant they wouldn't be in the film hence why it didn't come to fruition. i guess they could all move once daisy and andy get married. mrs patmore didn't get a great deal to do but i still feel like i saw her a fair amount. comrade daisy was awesome and is definitely me when i see any monarchy-related stuff. somewhere over the last few seasons she's developed into one of the most interesting characters in downton and we don't talk about that enough. andy trashing the boiler was immature af but at the same time i feel like it completely makes sense for daisy to take that as a compliment. it’s just such a daisy thing to do?????

now, there is one thing i kinda fucked up here. while i went into the film with low expectations for everyone else, i fully expected baxley to be A Thing because how could i not and boy did i come out looking like boo boo the fool. i guess baxter and molesley have continued the tradition of Agonisingly Long Downstairs Slowburns which would be okay if we were still getting one season per year but is quite frankly rude when we're on rationed content like this. the first half of the film i thought it was gonna be revealed that they were together or something but then that scene at the end implied they're dancing around each other and my god is it frustrating. i would give so much to trade tom and lucy's romantic subplot for a baxter/molesley one but once again i know that's an unrealistic dream.

definitely not enough baxter in general but that one shot of her, anna and mrs hughes standing in the same frame was worth the price of my cinema ticket. still love molesley even tho he's a monarchist.

in terms of the overall downstairs stuff, i'm euphoric at seeing all these people interact with each other again. as we all know, found family is the best trope and since the servants are literally the epitome of that every moment focussed on them is like chicken soup for my weary soul. was the revolution against the royal servants realistic? no. was it realistic for the two people who came up with most of the plot to be the ones who went to jail for doing literally nothing wrong and would therefore want to avoid stuff that could get them in trouble with an all-powerful family? also no! however, seeing downstairs all working together for a common goal is content that appeals directly to me and i am thankful.

shoutout to the last scene which is the best way the movie could've ended it for me. use of first names AND walking home together? thank u fellowes.

tldr; team downstairs fan who was strongly anti-movie, went in with low expectations, was pleasantly surprised. there are a shit ton of things i’d change but i just really loved seeing these characters who all mean so much to me again. obviously the only reason this film happened was for financial reasons rather than a desire to continue the storyline (cause the finale tied things up perfectly imo) but i wish they'd done a two-part miniseries instead to ensure everyone gets some screentime. two ninety minute specials every few years would work much better if everyone wants to keep downton going but i guess that doesn't bring the cash in like a movie does.

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