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#bc i have a permit and it says i can do what i want
commander-sarahs-art · 9 months
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I finally caved and made a Durge! So meet Lilith, Wild Magic Sorcerer, and a girlie with two souls in one body~ Killed by her own mother who feared her a demon, resurrected and given new life by her father Bhaal, controlled by him as an unholy assassin, while her other, better half screamed.
Left is Lil as an Unholy assassin, she appears almost like a walking corpse, her skin and hair leeched of all color, except one lone deep dark blue eye fighting to come through (Its the symbolism okay) She gravitates toward dark makeups to give some semblance of color to herself.
Right is Lilith, now going by Lilly, after she redeems herself and forsakes Bhaal, regaining her true appearance and self💕
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tricksterlatte · 8 months
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Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?
#I may be venting a lil but god it blows my mind#fyp is a blessing and a curse because i don't think ppl were ever meant to be subjected to this many ppl at once#god i took a bird site hiatus for weeks and now BARELY check it and it already feels like a hit#oughhhhh#even fandom spaces have hugely incorporated marketing and networking into them bc of cmms and sponsorship and building portfolio#which would be fine tbh if it weren't for the way socmed is designed#now it's like you can't support too many ppl or else you're shadow banned or you have to make yourself palatable and marketable#and websites with threads in which people will only read the first post before qrting because ratios are seen as five minutes of fame#features that permit beating an algorithm are locked behind a paywall that promises you money if you go viral#and what goes viral is usually incendiary content meant for those ratios or trends. whether for or against OP#even in hobbyist spaces the climate has changed so much due to the monetization and marketing and just. ugh#not to mention side accounts dedicated to gossip in this new priv account culture like...idk#if you have to make another account so you can make fun of a friend on main with selected priv friends it just doesn't sit well with me#and not every priv account does this but enough do and it makes me tired#unsolicited hate comments are still as bad as they used to be on ff dot net except now people openly are proud of it more#why do most socmed feel like passive aggressive sticky notes on high school lockers#there is so much more I could say about everything that has left me weary about the internet but I don't know the time or place#and I don't want anyone to think this is about them because it's a general statement. though if you are doing the more inflammatory things.#maybe rethink that. it's not good for anyone else and it's not good for you either#I keep coming back online to check on ppl and see art and I *know* it's draining for my health every time#but I feel a lot better now that i use socmed less overall. and that I try to focus on what makes me happy#it just sucks seeing so many people i care about endure absolutely wild struggles bc people online do not care.#I like rambling in my tags because this is the only place I ramble except my personal journal and to my wife
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armatization-a · 2 years
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physically restraining myself from another attempt at adding a fourth fandom to my blog
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cryptidcalling · 2 years
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Literally only using Disney Plus to watch Bluey. Talking about all my feelings in the tags (sorry, I didn't realize it would get so long)
#I freakin love this showwww like it's just so simple and wholesome and sweet#I love how the family feels like a real family but theyre still all so loving and kind#I love how it shows that sometimes parents make mistakes and its important to encourage your kids to communicate their boundaries#I love how bandit is always trying to teach them life lessons in fun ways and even if he doesn't really succeed still loves just having fun#I love the complete lack of gender stereotyping#I love how much I can relate to bluey and bingo even as a college student#I can see mu own childhood struggles so clearly in them#especially the way Bluey wants to have control over games and has a hard time explaining why it's important for her for things to be a-#-certain way. The show never belittles her for wanting things to go her way or disregards her upset feelings.#Instead it just shows ways for compromises to be made or ways for her to feel comfortable going through new experiences#I used to feel so humiliated and guilty as a child because of just... the way i was. I suspect now that I have ADHD but at the time#I had no idea. And I'd have these big reactions to things as a kid and even when I calmed down i would#feel the need to keep pretending to be feeling those big feelings because I knew if I stopped an adult would tease me about how it clearly#wasnt a big deal. And no. I know it wasn't now. But at the time I still was having these big feelings as if it was a big deal.#And my parents did find compromises. I would get really upset when I was told to leave somewhere immediately but with a 5 minute heads up I#would be perfectly fine. Being told to clean up immediately was upsetting but saying 'after dinner you need to clean' was easy#So on and so forth. But even with those compromises those big feelings still became a source of humiliation. I didn't realize how long it#stuck with me until I was 16 and I cried in front of my parents for the first time in YEARS bc my permit was going to expire and I didn't#know what to do. And I was so ashamed and humiliated and I was expecting them to make fun of me and call me dramatic like they did when I#was little. Even when they didn't I was still scared. I had to ask my dad directly if he thought I only cried to get my way.#He said that he didn't think that and that's the only reason I started to feel better about it.#And lets make it clear; my parents were never ever ever trying to hurt or upset me. It was all just meant to be teasing.#But it stuck with me for SO LONG even when it was all supposed to be harmless. They're amazing parents.#And watching Bluey really warms my heart because Bandit and Chili never go out of their way to make their kids feel-#embarrassed about their big feelings. You have the big feeling until its done and then you keep on going.#Such an absolutely wonderful show.
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kimmkitsuragi · 4 months
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also gonna be soooo insane for a minute re:prev post. not me looking at the helsinki gp like 👀 and going hmmmmm 👀
#i MAYBE will be acting so unwise when i finally get my residence permit from an eu country like#girl where's the money. yes you can now go to other countries but money where#also time where too probably........ but it's a future problem#🗒#also i say/think all this but i would feel way too guilty to actually spend money on 'not essential' stuff there lmao#especially since im already feeling guilty abt Still not getting any scholarships or anything#literally . worst person ever award for me for wanting to study abroad in this economy . i suck#but in the long run it will be fineeeee we all gotta escape this hell somehow#sometimes i think abt and like aw maybe it wouldnt be So Bad to stay here huh#but then it feels so overwhelmingly. suffocating#feels wrong to let go of this chance when i have it. but also makes me feel extremely guilty#bc like. what's so special abt me why do i get to do this selfishly asking support from my family#while they're still here and im there and . you know it feels so selfish but i Am always a little selfish#and . i shouldn't think too much abt it#anyway today my friend asked me if i ended up staying there and we were both 30 and she was still here#would i marry her to get her a citizenship too and sjjsjejejrjfuekkskdufuf#yeah i should stop feeling guilty and start feeling thankful that i can try this experience ............#it's tru actually. never thought abt it like that i guess....#still feels like somehow impossible that i Will actually get this experience like lmfao#i should probably sleep
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sillystringpasta · 1 month
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so, i see all these aus where danny gets help from the justice league for the anti ecto acts, and they're great. but hear me out. ghost king danny. classic setup, acts need to be repealed or war.
so danny goes to the league, of course.
the league of assassins.
Ra's is already familiar with death, and ghosts, and the realms. ya man's had the lazarus pits for centuries, he knows a little bit of what's what. maybe there's already some trade relations going on. more importantly, he has a massive group of hyper competent people who can pull strings in the government very stealthily, and have no outside affiliation or loyalty to that government.
but why not the JL? most of them are based in the USA. they work with the government (danny assumes). surely they are aware of the Acts. surely they would conform to them, enforce them.
so ghost king danny meets with ra's, who gives rancid vibes, but is able to, and wants to, do a smear campaign against the JL. against the USA. to gain favor with the guy who is the king of his most sacred resource, and knowledge about how to use the Pits to gain some basic liminal powers.
danny doesn't like the solution, exactly. but he's king. and this is what will protect his people. this is what will get expedient results. this is what his advisors who will still permit peace will allow.
so danny takes the deal with Ra's.
the initial outrage begins online, perhaps through MikMok. a mega famous influencer is cosplaying as superman, doing a twerking sort of dance to the most current haha funni meme song. the text overlay reads: when the superheroes condone genocide because they aren't human, ANTI-ECTO ACTS (whatever law/section code they were passed in).
it goes viral. and then someone finds the Acts (prodded along by the League) and it goes from a hit sensation online to every. single. news outlet flooding with information (puppeted by the League).
is this real? the Acts are real. but why? if these people(?) don't exist, why the Acts? the outrage. the mass confusion. the conspiracies. the new subgeddits and trending xitter tags. 4kun greentext be me: a ghost, becomes the new thing.
at this point, the GIW are scrambling to keep their involvment on the downlow. there are acts, sure, but they're not enforced :DDDD
vlad is in a similar situation. he cloned a guy. he def experimented on other ghosts to get to that level of knowledge. naturally, this is about when lex luthor gets involved. because, wouldn't you know it, but project CADMUS? yeah. that was a collab with DalvCo. they both wanted non-human clones from green stuff. they got it, and now luthor's sitting on some unpretty information.
he promptly shoves vlad under the bus, which is rapidly becoming less of a bus and more a trainwreck.
the league is surprised this happened, but goes with it.
the US governemnt is still trying to deny, deny, deny.
it's at this point that the JL gets themselves together. they don't know if the papers by Drs fenton are biased, or if ecto entities really are mindless creatures bent on destruction.
constantine says they're biased. green lantern concurs.
they decide to summon an ecto entity and find out what is going on.
danny is pretty stressed. it's a stressful situation. he's on break for the first time since they got a solution to this problem. he's not gonna answer a summoning. he has people to do that for him.
so they don't get the ghost king.
but they do get-
dani. and jazz. at the same time.
maximum possible psychic damage.
in the room at the watchtower is the big 3, green lantern, martian manhunter, flash, constantine, zatanna, raven, and black canary (legends of tomorrow experience? cool headed? there for arrow who is busy?).
dani doesn't like superman. he treats clones badly. jazz doesn't like batman, see Arkham.
dani doesn't know who c, z, raven, or bc are. jazz kinda knows of them, but not well.
so the actual negotiations go down with WW and MM.
they have a lot of questions. dani (abomination form) introduces jazz (basic looking human) as a princess of the realms. jazz says that the Acts are real, the realms want war, go suck a creamsickle (that was dani), they want restitution for the lives lost from the GIW.
then they leave the JL wondering who the GIW are.
someone (LoA) manages to hack the watchtower and post the meeting online as soon as it happens. or maybe they livestreamed it on Switch.
my spamblr, the result of my space buying tumblr in 1999, gains its first sexy women (jazz). jazz/WW fiction springs up on AOL3 overnight.
the GIW goes public. they try to push the envelop of ghosts being non-sentient. they try to use jazz being ambassador for that meeting to help their case. the JL is fighting accuations, but they are being pidgeon holed into siding with the GIW by the media.
it's at this point that things go from trainwreck to airplane runway crash.
dalvco and luthor are in a lawsuit. the usgov is under pressure from everyone. people are calling for impeachment of the president. the GIW is getting raided and having their evil posted online. the drs fentons are absent (in the ghost zone, either being evil or having mimosas with pandora). ra's is trying to use new knowledge of the Pits to reanimate tim's spleen. the JL is under constant fire. everyone who has ever had a malicious opinion about super or meta control is getting new platforms. danny can't use his intimate knowledge of what's going on to write his essays for school.
the world is galvanized. there are calls to action. liminals of Amity Prak come forward. you could be liminal too! the Acts get repealed. the GIW gets cleaned out, all prisoners rescued. the realms get restituition. the meta protection acts get expanded.
people will learn about phantom, the superhero. the dead boy who saved them all when the JL didn't answer amity's calls. the JL comes under more fire. they lose funding, defund the police style. for maximum chaos, this can be when the miraculous ladybug crossover starts.
phantom gets a bajillion features on true crime podcasts. tucker keeps sending links to the episodes to them. sam will never admit it, but she listens to them.
but things will never, ever be the same. arguably it's a bad end. but...
black canary restructures arkham from what jazz said to batman in that meeting. many of the rogues get actual help. the joker is transfered to a supermax. he never escapes again. nightwing takes the discowing costume back up in celebration.
vlad loses the lawsuit, and uses his powers to get one over on luthor, who has a mind control suggestion implanted to (amongst other things) never be able to work on these projects again.
there is greater transparancy in superhero work. this makes some people start social programs for villians who have a point. it works for a few of them. the JL is cleared up to handle more extraterrestriel threats, not leaving the burden on one person alone in the cities. the child sidekicks have less work.
amanda waller is fired. ironically, she had nothing to do with any of this, but people assume that she did. either way, everyone agrees it's deserved.
the league of assassins makes a lot of money. they get hired a lot in turbulent times.
disney, which is utterly unchanged in this dimension, makes a documentary about everything. they get dani in for an interview. it's in very bad taste. there is at least one death pun and CGI'd animal.
danny graduates.
clockwork smiles.
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withleeknow · 4 months
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whiskers.
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pairing: minho x reader genre/warnings: established relationship, fluff; reader has whisker dimples bc this is self-indulgent as hell, written in one sitting and v unedited lol it is once again 2am and i am half asleep. the fake cut mimo has on his cheek in the pics is kind of exactly where my whiskers are lmfao word count: 0.6k
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
navigation / masterlist / ko-fi
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"whiskers," minho says, pulling your gaze away from the laptop in front of you.
you roll your eyes half-heartedly, though you do put the device to the side to give minho your undivided attention. he's looking at you expectantly but patiently, like he's just asking you to give him a little love.
this isn't something that you've always liked about yourself, your whisker dimples as the internet has so lovingly deemed them these days. they would come out when you smile, or when your face twists into an unpleasant scowl. as a kid, people often found it odd how you had dimples so high up in your cheeks when others had them around their smile lines. you always felt a little different, a little weird whenever someone pointed this out even if it was only in harmless fun.
when minho first became aware of it, he was absolutely fascinated. he'd made you laugh so hard that you couldn't contain the bright grin that spread across your face as complete and utter joy took over you. you were clutching his arm, giggling at the story he was telling you when the dimples showed themselves, the cute indentations settling on top of your cheeks as if they were the physical manifestation of the happiness you felt inside.
you remember what minho did. he had cupped your face gently in his hands, then traced the soft lines with his fingers as he marveled at you. "you look like a cat," he had said, and you didn't really know what to make of it. it was so early in your relationship that you weren't sure if he was complimenting you or making fun of you like the others had.
but then the stars in his eyes twinkled a little brighter, the delighted quirk of his lips expressing his wonder better than words could. he had kissed you right there, softer and sweeter than he ever did in the short time that you had known each other back then, and you quickly learned that oh, maybe this little detail about yourself that you were embarrassed of your whole life was a good thing after all.
you still don't know the reason minho likes them so much. to you, they've always been something to ignore as best as you can, something to not draw attention to because you don't want people to highlight that maybe you're a little different from everybody else.
even as you sit here, years later with the love of your life who's got a very particular request for you, you're still not entirely sure why he's obsessed with your odd dimples enough to want to see them almost every day. it's a mystery to you and yet, it makes you feel all warm and bubbly inside whenever he sends this simple demand your way.
you adhere to his request nonetheless. when the dimples appear, you watch as a smile blooms on his face, growing bigger and bigger until it makes his eyes crinkle. like an instant boost of serotonin, you think.
minho traces them with gentle fingers, gazing at you in awe as if it's the first time he's seeing you like this. when he leans closer, you can't help but meet him halfway until his lips are tentatively brushing your cheeks. you can't help your own smile either, when it deepens and only accentuates the small moon-shaped dents which he kisses. five times on each side, and then he's peppering kisses all over your face while you laugh and accept the sudden burst of love.
sometimes he calls them whiskers, sometimes he calls them moons.
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all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 31.05.2024]
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librarycards · 2 months
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do you have any tips for making reading more accessible for people with attention / focus issues and low energy? i feel like whenever i try to read, i'm missing huge chunks of information or otherwise not reading as closely as i would like due to having adhd, and it discourages me from reading entirely.
ty for the question! I've addressed this in some ways here and here, but i'm also listing some quick bullet points for both pleasure / leisure reading and for more intentional reading (it's important to have both in your life!)
intentional reading: citation managers, esp. Zotero, are your friend. Read slowly and annotate. annotation forces your brain to get out of skim-mode and really think about what you need to remember from a given passage! it's best to do this when you're not on a deadline, because you can take all of the time you need.
intentional reading: for many people, print is the only way they can read intentionally, as digital is too distracting. try printing readings or using only paper books, and get physical with them - colored highlighters and pens, post it notes, etc. physical engagement helps a lot! write in your books!
intentional reading and leisure reading: if you're worried about not retaining information, try doing a quick mental summary after every x number of pages, or every chapter, etc. like, okay, if your friend asked "what happened in chapter 3" what would you say? I do this all the time, especially when i'm reading more intricately plotted scifi/fantasy with lots of unfamiliar words/names, as i get confused. if it's a very popular book with existing summaries, you can also read a chapter summary after finishing a chapter and make connections/go back to places you didn't understand. this is the best use of sparknotes and similar services, imo.
for leisure reading: you're reading for fun, so make your environment as comfy as possible. do you have a drink or snack with you? do you have your annotation materials close? make reading as convenient as possible so that you don't have to interrupt your time.
if you're busy or work with your hands, try an audiobook! you can speed it up or slow it down, depending on your brain's processing speed. [i listen to mine on 2x speed (narrator accent permitting) bc i'm a maniac.]. for a lot of people, stimming while reading helps them stay focused, so if you stim by knitting/doing something with both hands, audio might be for you.
for leisure and intentional reading, especially if the book is very difficult, you can try listening to an audiobook while reading a physical copy! if you're in college and have accommodations, you might be able to get audio copies of otherwise unavailable books through disability services.
lastly, for leisure reading: don't be afraid to start basic. there's kind of a novella boom happening right now, and a lot of books below 200 pages getting the recognition they deserve (if people want, i can make a recs post for short books?). if you can read ten pages a day, you can finish a 200 page book in less than 3 weeks, which is a lot more encouraging than picking up a 600 page tome. if you want to start smaller, try 5 pages! some people assume that they need to read a ton immediately, but what matters is that you're enjoying it and getting something from it. Quality >>>>> quantity.
Let me know if this is helpful/if you have any other questions! Good luck and happy reading :)
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cowboyjen68 · 10 months
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Hi!!
I just wanted to ask some advice from one butch to another.
I recently got my dream job of being a warden on a nature reserve (and i love it!), while interacting with people there I get called a young man very often (i am 18 lol) and it gives me euphoria to know im masculine enough to even pass as a man. I've also had some volunteers ask if I was a man or not (despite my feminine name).
But recently I got called a "lady" outside while out with my mother. It drove me INSANE I cried alot.
Don't get me wrong I do identify as a woman but I hate being seen as a lady.
I've even thought about using he/him pronouns recently and changing my name but i'm too scared to as most people won't understand bc im still a lesbian.
Is this strange?
ps love u and ur blog lots xx
This is an easy answer because I was 18 once and looked enough like a teenage boy that I got "hey sport" and "hey young man" all the time, especially when in my work clothes. I worked for The Mayor's Youth Corp in Iowa City in the summers of my 15th and 16th year. Mom and Dad let me get a work permit AND bought me a used Datsun Pickup so I could drive myself the 20 miles there and back each day.
I was a volunteer with the Corp of Engineers youth from 14 to 16 and Dad knew I was super excited about this job. Mom was not thrilled that I wanted to cut my hair but my "grand mullet" was really hot under the hard hat in the summer heat of Iowa. (in the 1980's boys and girls had the short in front long and permed in back look) We compromised and I cut the sides really short. (photo of my me at 16 in my uniform for reference)
Using "he" would never have occurred to me because "EWWW Boys". This is not to say, however, that I hated being mistaken for a boy, on the contrary, it felt good. When someone thought I was a young man it meant they treated me as such. They didn't talk down to me, I knew they assumed I was capable and willing to get dirty. I knew unconsiously that along with the mistaken identity came many perks. This was nothing I analyzed but little girls see very early on the difference in treatment they recieve from their brothers, male cousins and neighborhood boys. This difference leads us to become negotiators to control our circumstances and not entittled to treatment based on our skills and actual personalies.
When an adult recognized me as a boy, even for a second at first glance, I knew I didn't have to prove myself. They, for an instant, assigned to me words like "strong, capable, demanding etc". No negotations required.
When someone realized I was a girl they literally had a change in their face. They smiled at me, softened their voice. When I was called "young lady" or "Miss" it always seemed to be backed my the worst assumptions (in my mind anyway). Lady is steeped in all kinds of traits I didnt want assigned to me. "quiet, weak, likes to dress pretty"OR "motherly, submissive, meek" Nothing good in my teen brain, that is for sure. Lady felt so OLD, so married to a man and reliant on him for survival, so polyster pants and ugly flats and scratchy blouses with a flower imprint. NONE of these things are inherent to being a woman or even socially forced on us but that is not how things work sometimes. Words that describe people get stereotypes and myths and traits attached to them all the time. Woman and girl are no different.
I can tell you, the best feeling in the world when I was in that job was when my supervisor, who damn well knew I was a young woman, trusted me with all the same tasks as the boys. Who valued my opinions and abilities equally to the young men. He took time to teach me what I didn't know, just like with them and didn't assume I couldn't or didn't want to learn things on the job. He didn't shame ANYONE for not being strong enough or for getting tired or needing a break.
Don't let the assumptions of others force you into another box of conformity. You don't need a boys name or to use any pronouns you don't feel connected to just to please others. In fact, none of that effort will change perceptions of those around you. I can promise that one day being called Lady will just be another word that you can hear and know it does not change your personality or your interests or control the hope you have for your future. What does waste a lot of time and energy is trying to adjust things in your life to fit incorrect or snap assumptions about you as a person. You can never control the thoughts of those around you but what you can do is stop worrying about it and enjoy YOU.
You have a job you love and are sure to thrive in. You are solid in your sexuality and love of women, you are in a unique position to possibly change the perceptions of others when they think of "young women". Your interactions with the public are sure to effect the assumpions of at least some people when they think of young women and their roles in our society.
Congratulations on your new career and I bet you rock that uniform.
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spacelazarwolf · 1 year
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Saying that you come off as a zionist 'because of the way you frame Jews and Israelis' is kind of creepy when the primary thing you've been saying throughout is that violence against them by a terrorist group is bad. Saying Jewish lives are important and that Israelis don't deserve to die just for existing in Israel is zionism now apparently.
it’s bc she’s using “zionist” as a dogwhistle for “jew i don’t like” and “zionism” as a dogwhistle for “opinion about israel palestine that i don’t agree with.” which is unfortunately what’s happening with most discourse.
and the problem is, if you don’t know what the fuck zionism is, you cannot be antizionist. you cannot be anti something you do not understand. that’s why so much antizionism falls into antisemitism, because so much antisemitism relies on ignorance. if you truly want to be an antizionist, that requires doing your due diligence, reading zionist literature and educating yourself on the ideology and history, or at least just educating yourself on the basics using sources that aren’t just social media. to be an effective antizionist, you need to understand exactly what it is you’re opposing and why you oppose it.
i don’t personally identify myself as an antizionist for reasons i’d rather not go into, but i’ll give an example i’ve talked about before. political zionism is the desire for a jewish state governed by jewish people, sometimes with the added assumption of the state being under jewish law. i oppose this because 1. i don’t believe in the concept of states, 2. there are other people who live in the area besides jews who need political representation, and 3. jewish law only applies to jews, so trying to have a state that functions under jewish law essentially makes it a theocracy which i oppose.
the same applies to a lot of the buzzwords often used in this conversation: colonialism, ethnic cleansing, genocide, apartheid.
what makes what israel is doing colonialism? how is that complicated by the fact it was preceded, if not directly caused by, british colonialism? how is it further complicated by the fact the jewish people originated in that area and that there are populations of jews who have been there for centuries? do you know what the settlements are and what makes them a problem?
what makes what israel is doing ethnic cleansing? what do you know about the nakba? how much do you know about israel’s practice of denying permits and demolishing palestinian homes? how does the dramatic decrease in the number of palestinians allowed to work in israel contribute to this?
do you know what genocide means? do you know how it is different and similar to ethnic cleansing? are you familiar with the history or displays of palestinian identity being illegal in israel? are you aware of how palestinians living in israel are legally identified and how that affects their connection to palestinian peoplehood? despite the fact israel does not control gaza, hamas does, what tactics is israel using to worsen the conditions there?
can you define apartheid? can you describe the policies instituted by the israeli government that fall under the definition of apartheid?
and most importantly, can you find all the answers to these questions somewhere besides social media?
you cannot just use these words because you saw others using them. you have to know exactly what they mean and exactly how they apply to what palestinians are experiencing, otherwise your antizionism and your activism are worthless.
if you want to be an effective activist, you MUST be able to answer these questions, because if you can’t even describe the problem you will be a hindrance to the solution.
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itsphoenix0724 · 7 months
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Meet Me On The Ice (Azriel x Reader)~ Chapter 4
Warnings: none
Word Count: 1.2k
MMOTI Masterlist
A/N: Hi everyone! I just wanted to talk to everyone. ik I've been really noncommittal with this series, but I'm going to keep working on it bc I love it, and I hope you guys continue to love it too <3 I tried to build some insight into why Az doesn't like the reader in this chapter and I hope it came across okay, as always constructive criticism/feedback is welcome!
Disclaimer: DISCLAIMER: I am not a figure skater or a hockey player, so while I'm trying to be as accurate as possible, it's likely some things may not be correct and/or are bent a little to fit the plot!
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You could say that a tentative truce was established between the two of you after your night at the arcade. So much so Alis finally permitted you to get out on the ice. 
“Don’t be nervous, the two of you have come leaps and bounds since last week.” She reassures you from her spot on the stands. “We’re gonna start with some basics, and then we work our way up to the lifts just like in the studio.” You shoot Azriel a nervous glare and he tries his best to send you a reassuring look. 
Even though you still feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him, it’s almost nice being around him sometimes.
 Reluctantly, Az has gotten used to your relentless positivity. Even if he can still hear your voice echo in his head sometimes. 
It happened when you were thirteen, and it was a stupid comment he wasn’t even meant to hear. He has tried to put it behind him so many times, but every time he looked at you it popped up in the corner of his mind like a buzzing fly. Reflexively his hands tucked in the pockets of his sweatpants as you skated up to him with your sparkly eyes and sunshiney smile. The version of you from years ago scatters like ash in the wind as Az takes you in, amusement lighting in his eyes as he takes in your hot pink leg warmers. 
“Is this an 80s workout video?” He chuckles and he likes the way your eyebrows furrow in false outrage. 
“For your information, they keep my feet super warm so don’t come crying to me when you’re freezing.” You poke him in the chest and he laughs. It feels nice, he thinks, to simply exist around you without hostility. 
The figure skates still feel tight on his feet, but practice is mostly uneventful after that. Azriel even manages to safely get you off the ground without losing his balance. 
“Great work!” Alis actually seems proud for a moment. “I need you two to stay for a moment so you can try on your costumes.” Azriel looks horrified at the thought of him having to wear leggings, but something cold thaws in his chest when he sees your excitement. You had to throw your old costume away after Lucien’s accident, the fabric was permanently stained red. Az goes first. His costume is simple, a black shirt and leggings with bands of blue around his wrists and chest. You try to put a lid on your bubbling laughter when Az comes out of the changing room, but it still boils over even as Az shoots you a murderous glare. Your dress matches the blue on his costume, with lace cutouts that expose your collar bones, and delicate fabric that flows like water around your upper thighs. The whole thing is delicately studded with blue and silver rhinestones like you wrapped yourself in the night sky. Azriel briefly feels like the air is sucked out of his lungs as he watches you examine yourself in the mirror. 
“Well, what do you think?” You twirl once for effect scattering stardust in your wake. “It’s not so bad is it?” 
“No,” Azriel coughs around a closing throat. “Not bad at all.” You nod, sending him a puzzling look. The two of you change back into your normal clothes and bid Alis goodnight before walking to your cars.
“We’re still on tonight for bowling with Rhys and Cas right?” You ask rocking back on the balls of your feet.
“Absolutely.” He agrees.
“There’s actually something I wanted to ask you about,” You start right before you’re about to split for your cars. Azriel nods at you to continue. “Lucien wanted to know if he could come tonight, he really needs to get out of the house, so he’ll be there too.” 
“Alright.” Az answers “See you later.” he tucks his hands in his hoodie pocket again before walking to his own car. 
₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊
Lucien somehow successfully gets into the passenger seat of your car casted foot and all. You didn’t realize how much you missed him until you were driving around like you always did, singing along badly and loudly to your driving playlist. Eventually, you pull up infront of the bowling alley, bright neon lights bouncing off of the hood of your car. You help Lucien out of the seat, handing him his crutches and slowly walking into the bowling alley. Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel are already inside having claimed a booth and a lane in the back corner. Cas greets you joyfully scooping you up and twirling you around immediately, he also claps Lucien on the shoulder and you’re grateful that at least someone is making an effort to make him feel included. Rhys ordered you nachos and a drink and got Lucien a soft pretzel immediately chatting up a storm about their shared business communication class. Az hasn’t even said hello to you, even though this is supposed to be one of your bonding experiences, he just gave the both of you a noncommittal head nod and shoveled pizza in his mouth. You try not to outwardly sigh because you thought you were making progress, you thought you were past this. 
You thought you were almost friends. 
Attempting to stomp down the flash of hurt you send him a tight-lipped smile and a nod in return. This is Lucien’s first night out since his accident, so you will remain positive for his sake. 
Bowling continues uneventfully after that. Azriel and Cas are seemingly in a heated competition over this bowling match, and you and Rhys are playing much less committedly. Rhys has been flirting with the girl behind the counter for the past fifteen minutes, and you had been half-heartedly throwing your ball down the lane when it was your turn. 
Lucien had been a good cheerleader from his spot in the booth, but you weren’t very concerned about the game, content to sip on the slushy you bought. The two of you are in the middle of a very animated conversation when Cassian calls your name, coming behind you and looping his arms around your shoulders. 
“Are you coming to the victory party this Saturday after the game?” He drawls, glancing at Azriel out of the corner of his eye. “I would invite you to Vanserra, but-” Cassian glances at Lucien’s casted leg but the red-head simply shrugs. 
“No offense taken here.” Lucien raises his hands in mock surrender, “That’s not really my scene anyway.” 
“Well, we are planning on crushing your brothers’ team anyway, too bad Azzy’s still benched.” Cassian croons and Azriel sends him a murderous glare from where he’s about to launch his bowling ball. “You should come, we’ll be drinking on the Smokehound tab anyhow.” It was a sort of unspoken agreement amongst some of the local university hockey teams, losers host an after-party, booze included. 
“I’ll think about it.” You promise, and Cas ruffles your hair before leaving to grab his bowling ball. 
You completely miss the silent daggers Azriel is sending Cassian from behind your back. He doesn’t want you anywhere near this party, and Rhys won’t be too happy about your attendance either. Cas does nothing but chuckles at him with a knowing glint in his eye that sparks his irritation. You look at him once over your shoulder, and you must mistake his glower for being directed at you because for a brief second hurt flashes across your eyes. 
Something pinches in his chest and Azriel can do nothing but shove his hands in his pockets and avert his gaze to the ground.
@sidthedollface2 @bionic-donut @lyinginameadow @feyretopia @natashachelsea @going-through-shit @mika-no-sekai-blog @hijabi-desi-bookworm @brandywineeeee @littlelunelunatic @gorlillaglue25
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OK, so. Finished my first run. Gotta admit I'm not 100% satisfied with some endings. BUT NO BIGGIE, THAT'S WHAT HEADCANONS ARE FOR, DON'T WORRY I GOT A PERMIT (i'm a Dungeon Master) SO LET'S GO, HC TIME D&D STYLE BC WE STILL GOT 8 LEVELS TO GO: (spoilers for BG3 and Descent Into Avernus going forward)
They'd all stay together and continue to go on adventures, the 8 of them, Tav, Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Gale, Astarion, Wyll, Karlach and Halsin. Found Families stay together. (I do enjoy the polyship aspect too, so just throwing it out there) There's an exchange you can have ingame with an NPC in the Guild and Tav will say the party's name is Wormskulls and I love it. I do also love Tadfools. Maybe they are Wormskulls to the general public and Tadfools to their close friends and allies lol. After the tadpoles are gone I think it would be very useful for them to commission earrings enchanted with Rary's Telepathic Bond. Less invasive than a mindflayer tadpole and just as useful. Also symbolic for Gale. I think the earring would have a pendant of a skull with a serpent coming out of its eye and being bitten by the teeth.
OK SO, my girl Karlach. I haven't romanced her yet, gonna do a run for that. But she's not dying on my watch. She's going back to Avernus, BUT YOU CAN BE SO SURE THAT THE MOMENT THE WHOLE PARTY IS READY WE'RE KICKING DOWN ZARIEL'S DOOR AND KICKING HER ASS. Or giving her her sword back and possibly turning her back into an Angel, something that whatever party of adventurers that managed to save BG and Elturel in Descent Into Avernus CLEARLY didn't do, it would probably not only nullify Mizora's contract with Wyll bc Zariel is now a completely different entity, if you decided to redo Wyll's contract with her, but also would give us a better chance of Zariel taking the infernal engine out of Karlach herself. Maybe turning Wyll into a Devotion Paladin? (more details about Zariel here) I'd ask Jaheira and Minsc to take care of Scratch and Albie (owlbear cub) because the Hells is no place for pets. Even very brave ones. Maybe Halsin's "ending" fits here, taking care of the pets and the kids while everyone goes to Avernus, they leave him with a Sending Stone. And when they are back he's there waiting for them. 🥺
If we saved Duke Ravengard and broke Wyll's contract. (or didn't but are hcing that we broke his contract by defeating/unmaking Zariel) what does that mean to Wyll? I think it be super cool to go more in depth about it. How does he reconsile with his father? Does he accept to be reinstated as heir and becomes the Duke right away or does he think it's best for his father to continue his role a bit longer? Does he even want to be Duke or does he think he can serve the people of the Sword Coast better as an adventurer? If he turns into a Duke, what sort of benefit does that give an adventuring party?
Finding something to make Astarion able to walk in the sun again I've seen people talk about the Ring of the Sun-Walker as if it's from the 5e books, it's not, it's homebrew. HOWEVER, any freaking DM with a heart would create something similar for their player to continue playing without being afraid of dying instantly bc of the sun. The Cloak of Dragomir is canon to the Baldur's Gate videogame universe, so it be a good tie in, but it would be a temporary solution at best since it penalizes the player quite harshly, Strength: -6, Dexterity: -4, Intelligence: -2, Wisdom: -2, Charisma: -4 and Vampire Regeneration divided by 3, to 1 HP per 3 rounds. That being said, I wouldn't make it TOO easy to obtain as there are other ways for Astarion to be safe, like the Darkness spell. It would be interesting to see him (and Tav) struggle a little bit more, really feel the sacrifice Astarion made by rejecting the Ascendance even after they find something to combat the Sunlight Hypersensitivity. Astarion's biological family would be something very interesting to explore in the future. They would be Elves themselves and are most likely still alive, we even have a surname thanks to people analyzing the shit out of that tombstone: Ancunín. As a DM I wouldn't wait for a player to decide to search for these people, I'd throw them at the players! Strolling through the Upper City in a quick shopping trip? You hear a loud gasp, things clattering and bumping into the ground, hurried desperate steps and then someone sobbing "Astarion?? Astarion is that you?!" What do you do?
Visiting Waterdeep and Morena Dekarios. This woman deserves to see her son again, and Gale deserves to finally go back home and see his mom without the burden of an ancient artifact lodged in his chest and a goddess wanting him to kill himself. Would he stay? I'm not sure, he went through an entire Hero's Journey and maybe now home, although pleasant, is not as comforting anymore. Waterdeep is the element of Gale of Waterdeep and he's not him anymore. I think this would be a great premise for a roleplay focused arc. Gale is invited to the Blackstaff Ball for the first time since Mystra shunned him, the Wormskulls are famous now, The New Heros of Baldur's Gate (Gala Episode anyone? All of them SLAYIN with their fits? Poor Halsin totally out of his element). He's once again welcomed into the society of the Lord Mage of Waterdeep and his peers seem to have all but forgotten he was ever a pariah. Is that what he wants? And Waterdeep has many opportunities for more adventure. A paranoid Beholder underground anyone?
Kill the Lich Queen (CLASSIC D&D). Vlaakith IS FINISHED. TIME TO SPELLJAM AND BE SPACE PIRATES YALL. Lae'zel deserves to see this through to the END.
Shadowheart goes through another journey to find out if she wants to truly embrace Selûne or maybe become another thing entirely. Selûne should reach out or Isobel and Dame Aylin would help her out. Or maybe Shadowheart is tired of being a Cleric and following a god. But change and inconsistency is something that is under Selûne's portfolio, she's often followed by those who are lost, so I think she'd find more than fitting for Shadowheart to be a cautious and weary follower of her.
Your Tav's personal stuff. The Dark Urge sounds amazing and I can't wait to do a run with them, but I think most of us got very attached to our Original Characters Do No Steal. So I'm excited to see what people come up with for their Tavs. Otessa, my Tav, doesn't know her dad was a pirate, he never told her, so I expect that his past will come bite him in the ass and she'll have to help him out of that pickle.
When the party has reached level 17, Gale has access to the Wish spell. And I really do think they'd use it to get rid of Astarion's undeath. As a DM I wouldn't let Gale simply get the spell outright, he'd have to research it. Not only that, I don't think Astarion would be totally free of undeath, some remnant of it would linger, he'd probably turn into an Elf that needs blood to survive and is forever locked out of the Call of Arvandor or something. But he'd be mortal and would be able to walk in the sun without that ring, cross bodies of water, wouldn't instadie from pointy wood objects in the chest etc. (i'm writing a little one-shot about this, should post it soon)
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ideasarestuckinmyhead · 3 months
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|•♡•♡{Welcome pick your man!}♡•♡•|
|•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡{Number 13}♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•|
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Gossip
{♡} ask
- In a town w old people? yeah there's gossip
Cardboard cut out
{♡} personal
- omg a cut out of my bf
Incorrect Quotes:
eye's like sapphires
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Werewolf Seth NSFW HC's
{♡} requested
- getting freaky w a werewolf
Seth NSFW HC's
{♡} requested
- getting freaky w normal Seth
dozed off
{♡} ask
- Boo just falling asleep while getting a tattoo and Seth is confused
amazing features
{♡} ask
- Seth would 100% make girl's jealous w his hair and amazing body...
ao3 account
{♡} ask
- So Seth has a ao3 account to read gravity falls fanfics.
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Smashing skulls in - Yandere Casper
{♡} requested
- YIPEE Yandere Casper
Pinch of rat poison - Yandere Charlie
{♡} requested
- OMG is that Yandere Charlie?!
book of sleep talking
{♡} ask
- Charlie sleep talks ad Casper recorded all of it in their book
Incorrect Quotes:
pizza
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Yandere Finn NSFW HC's
{♡} requested
- oh look more nsfw hc's-
Incorrect Quotes:
god's strongest soldier is not me
the things I do for love
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California Faust
{♡} personal
- he got that bitchy valley girl energy (from someone form Cali)
outfit idea
{♡} personal
- Him in this would eat so bad BROOOO
Football
{♡} personal
- he loves his football team
Incorrect Quotes:
teehee sexy cowboy
Money spent well?
Faust's in here
Self aware
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Dad Auron HC's
{♡} requested
- im about to make thius man a father trust-
Bend over - Smut
{♡} requested
- Doesn't he look pretty bent over?
Rook being an ex figure skater
{♡} ask
- Lol yuuri on ice am I right? (still mourning the anime ngl)
cozy games
{♡} ask
- Him playing cozy games is so silly to me
Don't try messing with me
{♡} personal
- do you really think you can check Rook? Please now Auron deal w this shit-
Incorrect Quotes:
I have a permit
aggressively caring
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Am I an Angel?
{♡} requested
- So we get Yandere Angel finally :D
Slobbery love
{♡} personal
- Lucien loves tormenting his lover with licking them
Incorrect Quotes:
Method to this madness
They will be mine *lick*
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First killing - Yandere Buddy
{♡} personal
- Buddy kills someone and they unlock some shit
Staying in
{♡} personal
- fluff for Jack who didn't want to go to a party
fuck his ex friend
{♡} personal
- MAN FUCK THAT EX FRIEND IDGAS
Incorrect Quotes:
what's going on in my head?
modern day Romeo and Juliet
match my freak
open sesame!
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Protective or obsessive?
{♡} requested
- Yandere bittersweet bc we love them
Fucked Life
{♡} requested
- Boo had a fucked life
Favorite sex positions - all boy's
{♡} requested
- ooo more nsfw
Making battery acid - All boys
{♡} requested
- I was confused but I'm chill w it
Who the FUCK is that?? - All boys
{♡} requested
- YOOO WHO IS KNOCKIN ON MY WINDOOWW
Dozing off with the YV boy's!
{♡} requested
- hunk shook mimimimi
Anger issues
{♡} requested
- Sugarboo and Scout having anger issues how would their boys react?
Listener's as birds
{♡} ask
- this is actually pretty cool
Assassin family
{♡} ask
- ah yes, assassins bc I love listeners being op
Boo at the grocery store
{♡} ask
- NFL do this sometimes
how Boo started baking
{♡} ask
- baking as a outlet is such a good idea and you get food out of it!!
Boo's lockscreen
{♡} ask
- this is acttualy so fucking cute
Fucking to a song - Auron and Y!Finn
{♡} ask
- RULE 34 BY BIRDCAGE IS A MASTERPIECE
handling hot weather - Bittersweet
{♡} ask
- I HATE HOT WEATHER
Talking - Auron and Finn
{♡} ask
- So, Finn helps Auron and gossip while Sunflower and Rook gossip.
YV boys and the states
{♡} ask
- Wait Utah is real? /jk
Seamouse Charlie x Jack
{♡} ask
- Silly blonde and even sillier man
Our partner is a protective man - Middle Ground
{♡} personal
- Auron is NOT above killing someone, Darling is saying do it and Finn is trying to reel in his crazy partners (not really tho bc he hates all the people there)
Southern Stars - Seth x Faust
{♡} personal
- YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM
Telling the boy's your parent's/guardian want to meet them - all boy's
{♡} personal
- time to meet the parents! (lord help some of them)
Rating the YV boy's if they were real and meet my parent's
{♡} personal
- like half of them are okay the other half...might not do so good-
Hanahaki Disease AU
{♡} personal
- MORE ANGST HAHAHAHA
Mob Family Au - All boy's
{♡} personal
- ruh roh Auron fucked up and now everyone is trying to comfort Rook
Family things, you know how it is. - Mob Family Au
{♡} personal
- We love a crime family
Football
{♡} personal
- basically how football season is in my house
Accidentally hurting listener
{♡} personal
- ah yes, angst bc I love torturing the boys
Van Helsing AU
{♡} personal
- this movie messed w my brain chemicals so good
Twitter PT21
Incorrect Quotes:
Man in the woods
Wrong answer!
Pull up that shirt, whore!
death or a triple chocolate cake
miss my wife...
•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•
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rockinmusicquarterly · 10 months
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sorry im thinking about how vi spends her teenage years being discouraged by her peers & talked down to by her sister, having no support for what she wants to do because no one thinks she can do it, so when she leaves she's believed herself to be perfectly self-reliant and not needing anyone else, where the only reason she teams up with kabbu is so she can get her permit
how praise really does get her anywhere because nobody gave it to her before, and the only reason she doesn't ditch kabbu is because he called her a reliable teammate, how that was enough for her to feel guilty and come back in spite of her fear
and how fast-forward to the termite kingdom she says her dreams are coming true, how she welcomes the support of others when she used to think she didn't need it, how she reconciles with her sister & the hive because her friends teach her that it's not worth it to hold petty grudges, how her abandoning kabbu becomes a point of teasing bc they all know she would never do something like that again & i just
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nyxi-pixie · 5 months
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me when im supposed to be studying but instead im thinking abt mori and dazai again
let me go absolutely insane for a second (not a second. this is so long. i just checked mfer its over 2000 words. i need to be sedated. imprisoned. restrained. examined. smthn)
'a young man with a death wish once came to me and i wanted to rescue him but i couldnt' and like yeah. beast mori couldnt rescue him. but to a certain extent, canon mori sort of has (touch wood for long term but as it is, dazai is so much less intent on dying than he was in dark era).
and it just. i always wonder about the actual intentions of the mimic situation. because on the surface, it looks like what dazai calls it, then deeper than that, it looks like a very calculated long term strategy, and deeper than that, its just. kinda sad.
i just think its interesting that he plans the mimic thing the way he does knowing dazai will leave despite the fact that he doesnt want him to. and dazai himself reasons this as mori being afraid of him, that mori doesnt want dazai to kill him the way mori killed the old boss. but thats? not true? mori seems unbothered at worst and downright proud at best when he tells oda that dazai will probably kill him one day.
so. Why. did he do it knowing dazai would leave? it wasnt his only option; he could have set skk on mimic. like 5 second future vision isnt gonna do much when the danger is alr there (as oda says). and in the face of a massive black hole coming right at u or a building being dropped on you, five seconds really isnt gonna do much. so mimic cld have been removed without a casualty and the mafia could still have got the permit, and not lost dazai. (who is Objectively an asset to the organisation.) But thats not how it happens. Mori plans it exactly as he does knowing oda will die and dazai will leave. he also then makes it continually obvious that dazai would be welcomed back.
and ive been trying to think of other reasons for it, but across canon and insight from beast mori the only thing i can think of comes back to the fact that mori wants dazai alive. alive and aware that the pm is the best place for him, but alive more than anything else.
i think he wants dazai as his heir bc he knows dazai is enough like him to manage it, but i wonder if it also comes back to the fact that mori is trying to rescue him, and i imagine his own reason to live (and lord knows he suggests he needs a strong one in fifteen) is probably tied down to legacy and responsibility for the city. mori devotes his life to the mafia because he wants peace and appreciates that control (rather than eradication) of the worst of yokohama is the way to keep that peace. and thats enough of a reason to live for him. but it isnt for dazai.
dazai doesnt give a fuck about the mafia as a concept bc his motivations dont rest on ideals the way moris do. dazai only ever does anything because of the people he cares about. everything we see him do, EVEN in pm era where people claim he was some emotionless rockman, come back to his friends.
its why hes never at the centre of the plot. he cant be, because he never does anything for himself. fifteen, in which he is a titular character, is a plot that rests vastly on chuuyas back story. dazais original motivation prior to meeting him is just to khs, and only upon meeting chuuya and them having their whole weird Thing and dazai deciding to be an obsessive freak, does he actually have personal stakes in the job. then in stormbringer, its all abt chuuya again, and dazai is only involved bc he cares about him (whatever he actually says aside). tdipud is driven by odas storyline, and so is dark era. dazai is only active in them bc he cares abt oda.
even when he has more idealistic motivations come canon era, they come back to the fact that hes doing it for oda. anything Above And Beyond that promise is bc hes acting to save the agency, who are his Friends. his motivations are deeply personal in complete contrast to moris, and it is perhaps the only place they really differ.
now ironically, it seems to be that the only decisions mori makes influenced by personal feelings are because of dazai. which takes me to the fact that i think he let dazai leave because he recognises thats whats best for him (at least in the short term - and we'll get to That in a second). and its not really a loss for the organisation because dazais too practical to ever dismiss the mafia, and he still gut responds with their methods. so its an easy sacrifice, a justifiable one.
then theres the contrast with the kouyou&kyouka thing. kouyou doesnt want kyouka to taste the light only to have it sour on her tongue when she realises she cant actually have it because of what she is. because kouyou believes anyone tainted by darkness the way they are can never be free of it. (because she couldnt get out herself).
i wouldnt be surprised if mori thinks the same way, certainly in regards to someone like dazai who Is naturally built for the mafia in a way kyouka really isnt. mori at least believes dazais blood is mafia black and whether or not this is true is irrelevant. he Does have to actively fight his impulses in order to do the Right Thing even now. And even doing that, he still falls into their methods when its practical, or when he's paranoid or unsettled enough to need the comfort of habit, hence the way he treats aku even four years removed from the mafia. hence the way he treats atsushi immediately after Q appears (the way he so instantly latches onto his older self literally slapping the self pity he detests in himself and in his former kouhai out of his current one). hence the way the parallels to mori spring up most when dazai has just been shaken by something.
so i wonder if mori let dazai walk into the light knowing (or believing) he wouldnt fit there, and would come back with a stronger commitment to the mafia as a whole because it may be a concept of sorts, but its one that embraces him in a way the light doesnt, and while dazai does things for the people He cares about, its a mutual thing - he feels responsibility for the people that care about Him too (which probably ties in to the desire for a quiet suicide without bothering anyone, and also to the disgust he has w the sheep - because it Isnt a mutual exchange there).
i think it was always intended as a temporary thing (five years away from the mafia maybe. the 'five years' right before dazai comes to take moris place). give him a taste of the light and let him come to his own conclusion that he doesnt belong there, and eventually turn back to the mafia where he does belong.
(despite suggestions that dazai Doesnt really belong there - smthn smthn cat/dog symbolism - though people suggest this implies he belongs w the ada and i dont think thats true either esp given the way hes omitted from the group so often. i think the cat symbolism w dazai likens him more to natsume than atsushi&fukuzawa esp given the way theyre shown tgthr so often. dazai doesnt belong to any organisation or rigid group, he just fits in line w whoever he cares abt and wherever he decides hes content to stay. v much like a cat actually.).
anyway, moris idea seems to be that dazai wld realise the mafia is somewhere he is cared for, and he cares for the people within it in return. though it doesnt seem to have really turned out that way (maybe mori j underestimated the power of the ada's one specialty: forced integration into its found family. lmao)
so you could see it from a practical perspective: mori sending dazai out to show him he really belongs w the mafia and shld come back to them when the time is right, thus mori secures his legacy by leaving the pm to dazai and the mafia is led forward by someone who could handle it the way mori has.
but. hes never pushy abt dazai coming back. hes downright polite abt it (contrasting to the way he treats yosano), and he puts an awful lot of effort into saving dazais life. (kinda funny that he sends chuuya to pick dazais ass up every five seconds with no reward for either of them - chuuya post dead apple literally asks and moris just like ? uh the safety of the city?? bragging rights😁👍? - but when he sends chuuya to save the agency as a whole the price is Heavy like. exchange of a member is crazyyy.)
dazai is always very much considered One Of Their Own. his seat is still empty waiting for him to come back, he and mori post guild are Always cooperating (despite the kinda petty way dazai talks to him during the reunion - the whole 'i burnt the coat' thing - its almost childish, spiteful in a way that speaks to personal hurt that undermines any control he might have had of their kind of distant passive aggressive exchange. but. im too insane abt that interaction that my interpretation cld be entirely bs.)
they communicate through this ridiculous game of chess, and rely on each other to keep both their organisations afloat. when anyone else from the ada tries to pull the same thing, mori pulls out contracts for their damn souls but when its dazai hes just like ? oh ur bf needs to save you again? of course i can spare him to go pick you up from european prison yeah not a problem! ill even glue his vampire cosplay teeth in!!
in connection with that, even with dazais commitment to Doing The Right Thing, he does not do it in the right way. hes perfectly content to use mori-typical underhanded methods to get the ada to the right place. he sends aku To His Death Knowingly for the sake of saving atsushi and by extension the rest of the agency (and he may have known that the vampirism wld sorta bring him back?? but he still sends him to die), and its sorta similar to mori sending aku out to deal with hawthorne and mitchell while hes in rlly bad shape.
anyway dazais methods always make me think of that cunty exchange sskk have in dead apple 'thats not the way we do things in the detective agency' 'was that a bad joke😘 ur too much weretiger🌈✨💖'. but like. dazai Doesnt work the way the ada does. at least not when things get tense enough to drive him back to habit.
i think people like to interpret dazai as being a better person now, and i think in some ways he is. because hes always influenced by the people hes around most. but also, his motivations havent really changed from pm era. he still does what he does for his friends, they just happen to be on the right side now.
anyway. mori puts more work into keeping dazai alive than any other character (bar perhaps chuuya - but thats because mori saving dazai runs hand in hand with chuuya doing it given hes the one sending him) which is. aurgh.
mori and the wish to save people is just interesting in general. the fact that he became a doctor in the first place is telling on its own plus the unhinged way he deals with yosano - of course someone obsessed with saving people would want a cheat card for sending Death packing - but maybe i could believe it was just a power thing, more to his sense of control. playing with life and death so that he can play god. and i think that probably is just a little bit part of it, esp during the war.
but theres also the way he treats doctors within the pm (sb calls it respect for his former position but it may also be knowledge that the better treated they are the more people they will save). And the only reason he works w the tripartite agreement is bc he loves yokohama, wants its people, including its underground, alive and all that (honestly it probably links back to war stuff - hes really intent on peace).
so hes already someone that is intent on saving people (and beast mori makes this obvious w the way he treats atsushi) but theres a personal edge to it w dazai, possibly bc dazai is so much like him, and asgr is kind of obsessed w the saving your mirrors bc you cldnt save yourself thing (sskk. atsushi&lucy. chuuya with his clone. beast akutagawa siblings. beast atsushi&kyouka. i could continue).
im frothing at the mouth but basically, mori does everything for practical reasons in line with his ideals, his grand vision for the PM, but that doesnt mean he isnt making any emotionally charged decisions. its just that theyre always justified by their practical outcomes. (Especially where dazai is concerned). so he can pretend that theyre not driven by personal feelings but IM WATCHING U MORI U CANT HIDE FROM ME.
yk i sometimes wonder if i see him too sympathetically for a guy thats as so sucks as he is but someone has to counterbalance the 75% of the fandom that thinks hes pure evil for no reason and has no thoughts outside of Being Terrible so. here you go have this from the depths of my brain.
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yuri-is-online · 4 months
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I’ve had this thought in my mind for awhile, but I think there’s even more lore(?)/more to Haku & Tohma’s relationship. That’s shown I mean! Hear me out: in the first episode MC is unable to find a ride. All of the cars seem to be ignoring her. The trains were stopped bc of an earthquake. MC uses catsmo. Totally not coincidentally, Haku joins the ride. I’m assuming Tohma was behind both the earthquake (stigma) and the cars ignoring her. A part of me is like, what if Tohma had contacted Haku to intervene? Tohma appearing out of nowhere to bring her back would definitely give away that he’s keeping watch. So Haku, the only other ghoul that she knows/that could show up (Taiga being restricted, Jin never leaving his room), is the go to dude.
All of this then leads me to thinking- what if Haku had gotten the skeleton key from Tohma? The other option would be the Chancellor or a Professor. Either or, there’s some level of trust for him to have it. Unless he stole it LOL.
Also… The campus run-in scene between them both is so interesting?? To me at least haha. I’m torn between: Tohma being unhappy to see Haku because he’s the spy/or the main suspect of it hence calling him a snake (dodge viper). Or the comment stemming from Haku transferring out of Frostheilm thus being a snake in that sense. Or both, it could be both fr.
Sorry for the long ask! I’m just really enticed by whatever’s going on
Long asks are welcome here, be not afraid to ramble if my ask box is open you are free to yap.
So first off, I highly doubt that Haku got the skeleton key from Tohma. Tohma specifically says that he got permission to use the key from the school, something he is able to do due to having a good relationship and reputation with Darkwick's staff. It is not his artifact, nor is it in the care of Frostheim; that makes me think it is an artifact similar to the Fox Robe, something that the school keeps on hand for missions that ghouls can either request use of as needed or they have multiple of, but only if it is deemed necessary by the staff. Professor Moby appears to be the one in charge of artifact permits from Taiga's bond story, and he is also the advisor for Hotarubi, so if he is the one you would get permission from Haku might have an even easier time than Tohma does. Haku is also someone that the Chancellor seems to trust, "Have I ever lied to you?" wouldn't be a convincing argument otherwise.
Their relationship seems tense based off of that campus event, but they seem to have been close at one point. Tohma refers to Haku by his surname Kusanagi, while Haku calls Tohma by his first name. Tohma offers him a smoke, but Haku says he's been trying to quit... they still haven't added the damn affection chats back so I can't see what's up but from what I understand Haku also seems to have transferred dormitories and people see this as him "switching sides." Remember! Tohma wasn't in Frostheim until half a year ago and we don't know when Haku transferred. I'd assume it was around the same time as you typically need special permission to transfer, but the fallout of the Clash seems to have resulted in multiple transfers to help smooth over the balance of power. We know why Tohma went to Frostheim, he wants to use Jin for some reason, so why did Haku go to Hotarubi? And what was his previous house? Was he also in Vagastrom with Tohma and Alan? Or was he somewhere else?
While Tohma could have been behind the earthquake due to his stigma, the cars ignoring her felt more like the result of her curse or the sage's ring than anything he could realistically pull off. I doubt he would ask Haku to go get the MC when he is someone he doesn't refer to by his first name and calls a snake to his face... it's possible of course depending on when he begin to suspect him but we don't know enough about their previous friendship, if one existed at all, to make that call. To me Haku finding the MC suggested one of three things: 1) Darkwick is watching MC due to her history of running away and tasked Haku with doing that, 2) Haku has been watching MC of his own accord for his own purposes or 3) Haku knew MC would try to run away because we are stuck in a timeloop and she did this before. I like option 3 best myself, but anything is possible at this point.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, I worry I'm a bit too sus of Haku for my own good that I neglect to think about all the ways Tohma is too. I should do that a bit more, no one wears a monocle that isn't weird af
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