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#be proud of the things i spent 5 hours working on
a-star-that-fell · 2 years
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your care team is a little unconventional, but they’re the best around!
a small doodle of julian, nurse gerard, and baymax inspired by my beloved @sigynpenniman 💚
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crossnecklace · 8 months
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ummmmmmm hello
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nerdy-novelist017 · 2 months
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Ponytails and Promises (Benny Cross x Shy!Reader pt 5)
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I'm sorry it's taken such a long time to get this posted ☹️ I've been dealing with a few health problems lately and it's made it hard to be creative. I'm not super proud of this but I hope you enjoy it regardless. As always, I'm so grateful for all of you wonderful readers! 🫶
Benny x Bunny Masterlist
Word Count- 3.1k+
Summary- Time spent apart has both Benny and yourself wondering what the other is thinking.
******
For the tenth time in a row, you rehearsed what you were going to say as you peddled your bicycle down the street, the morning sun shining through the trees above. You’d been up all night, a ball of nerves working its way through your tummy in preparation of today’s meeting. The diner was busy when you approached, cars and even a few motorcycles parked out front. You hopped off your bike, swallowing thickly as you propped it in the bicycle rack. You tried to spot his motorcycle but quickly scolded yourself for even remembering the particular design of his. Thankfully, you didn’t see it in the lineup. You smoothed out your ponytail and checked your romper for any signs of creasing that he might not like. Satisfied with your appearance, you pushed the front door open and scanned the inside. 
He sat at a booth on the far side and you swallowed your nerves and did a quick assessment of him as you neared. He didn’t look to be physically injured and you breathed a sigh of relief. He looked up when you stood before him and flashed you a quick, fleeting smile. As he said your name and it almost sounded unfamiliar to you. 
“Hi, Pete,” you smiled as you waited for him to stand to greet you. 
He nodded, motioning for you to sit and you tried not to appear dispirited as you slid into the opposite booth. There was a Coca-Cola bottle in front of him and you noticed that he’d ordered you water. You had to remind yourself that he didn’t know you very well yet and that he probably didn’t recall you preferred coke too. 
“You look very nice,” you said, attempting to cut through the awkwardness between you. 
He nodded again, murmuring a thanks.
Okay, better to get straight to your rehearsed lines, you supposed. “Thank you for meetin’ with me. A–and I owe you an apology. Pete, I had no idea he was going to do that.”
“Who was he?” Pete asked directly, cutting your speech short.
You put your hands out of the table in front of you, playing with the straw wrapper as you spoke, “He’s just some guy, a biker–”
“Yeah, I got that. I mean how do you know him?” 
“He . . . was somebody I met when I was out with Kathy. Met him at a picnic,” you explained carefully as your gaze searched Pete’s eyes behind his glasses. “Remember, the one I told you about?”
“She’s becoming a bit of a wild thing, huh?” he asked and you could sense that it wasn’t really a question. There was a blatant statement hanging in his tight voice. 
“She’s always been like that, I think,” you replied, trying to smother the defensive tone in your voice. “And I was only there for a short time, but I guess he took a liking to me.”
Pete hummed, glanced out the window for a moment so you continued, “Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what he did. You’re a really good person and you don’t deserve that.” You considered reaching across the table to touch his hand, but he leaned back in his seat before you could. “And. . . I was excited about our date.”
“Do your parents know about where you went? About him?” He seemed not to hear your last statement. 
“No,” you admitted, brow furrowing. In fact, you haven’t told anyone about your date with Benny. Not even Kathy. You just came straight home and went up to bed where you laid awake for hours, mind reeling through every conversation the two of you shared, every word he spoke. 
“They’d never approve of that,” he pointed out as he looked back at you. 
“Well, they’re never going to find out because I don’t plan on seeing him again,” you stated, looking down at the condensation building on the outside of your untouched water glass. 
“Good.” The corner of his mouth quirked up. “You don’t belong with a group like that, anyway.”
It was strange hearing that from Pete. It was the same affirmation you had told yourself over and over again last night, but hearing him tell you that, as if you didn’t have a choice in the matter, left a bad taste in your mouth. All you could say was, “Yeah. . .”
You wanted to ask exactly what Benny had said to him, but before you could, Pete leaned forward, seeming to be in better spirits and said, “Dolls like you belong on a shelf where they can be admired and not broken.”
His words, at face value, were sweet, kind, but you couldn’t shake an uneasy feeling that toyed in the back of your mind. Pete was the safe choice, you had to remind yourself. Pete was everything you had wanted for your future-husband, for your life. He wanted you to be exactly who you were raised to be. You could be a quiet doll whose whole existence was to sit on a shelf and look pretty. 
You nodded, leaning forward to take a sip of your water as an excuse to not speak. 
“I’m glad we worked through this,” he said as he waved down the waitress to order. 
“Me too,” you said quietly as he ordered for you. And you meant it, you did. But something felt different with him now. There was a shift that seemed to occur and you weren’t sure what it was or if it would ever resolve. Pete didn’t seem to notice as he prattled on about his upcoming golf tournament, falling into a one-sided conversation that he was comfortable with. 
As you absentmindedly picked at your plate of breakfast, you wondered —just briefly— if Benny was eating breakfast right now and if he was, what was on his plate? 
When there was a lapse in silence, you looked up at Pete, suddenly asking, “Are you still planning on coming to the charity picnic with me today?”
His brows pinched together. “What charity picnic?”
“The one I told you about last week? It’s for the children of Chicago fund. Our church is hosting the cookout, remember?” You asked, specifically recalling having this conversation with him on your first date. But you gave him the benefit of the doubt; maybe he had been trying to process a lot of new information about you and this slipped his mind. 
“Oh, right.” He adjusted the glasses on his nose. “I’ll have to check my schedule, make sure I don’t have anything else going on today.”
“Okay,” you nodded. He confirmed that he could go with you a week ago already. You slid out from the booth, grabbing your purse. “Well, I’ll maybe see you there then?”
He followed you, standing to his feet also. “Yeah.”
You made your way outside and he touched your arm before you could reach your bike. You were afraid that maybe he wanted to kiss you as he leaned forward but he only put his arms around you in a friendly hug instead. 
“Bye, (Y/N),” he said as he broke free, turning and going back to his car. 
“Goodbye, Pete.” 
******
Benny lifted the glass to his lips, downing the rest of his drink. The scent of cigarette smoke and motor oil hung heavy in Cal’s garage where he, Johnny, Wahoo and Corky sat around as Cal worked on Corky’s bike. Benny’s eyes burned as he rubbed his face tiredly. He hadn’t slept well last night – worse than the few hours a night he usually got. His mind was too busy, filled with thoughts of you. Of the way your hair cascaded over your shoulder, of the way your dimples show when you smiled brightly. Of the way you looked so damn beautiful even when you were angry. And you were angry at him of all people which admittedly, he still didn't quite understand why. You were upset that he overstepped, sure. He got that. But when it came to a man like Pete? Benny could take one look at that man and see the strained facade he wore like a mask. Benny’s always been good at reading people, at seeing past the guise. And Pete was no good. 
“What do you think, Benny?” someone had asked, drawing him back to reality. 
“‘Bout what?” he asked, looking up at the faces around the garage.
“About the radiator hose,” Cal informed as he motioned to the stripped down bike and Benny honestly didn’t hear what was even wrong with it in the first place. 
“Probably no good,” he replied with a shrug as he dug out his pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket.
As if Johnny sensed Benny’s more than usual reserve, he asked. “Hey, how’d the date go with Bunny last night?”
Benny glanced up at him. “Went good except I think she’s pissed at me.”
Cal laughed. “How could you consider that good then?”
Benny shot him a narrowed look. “We had a misunderstanding.”
“Are ya sure she’s mad?” Wahoo spoke up from the other side of the motorcycle. “When my old lady is horny, she just acts like she’s mad so I spank her and that really gets her going.” 
Benny sighed. “No, she’s mad.”
“Why? What’d you do?” Johnny inquired. 
Benny wanted to argue in his own defense but shrugged. “She’s upset that I had to run off her date.”
“She had a date?” 
“Mh-hm, church-going fellow.” Benny lit his cigarette, taking a long drag of it before continuing, “Caught him before she knew he was there.”
“Did ya kill him or somethin’?” Corky’s eyes widened. 
“Nah, just had a talk with him,” Benny clarified as he stood from his lawn chair, moving to look out the bay door. “He was late to their date anyway and . . . I just wanted to have a talk with him, see what kind of man he was. And I didn’t like what I saw.” He was one of those men who pretended to be something he’s not, who perfected the craft of lying to people – especially women. And Benny didn’t have any respect for liars.
“Okay, what’d you say to him then?” Johnny wondered.
“Just said ‘Are you willin’ to die for her?’ and he said yeah and then I asked if he was willin’ to kill for her because I was.” Benny recalled the twinge of fear in those eyes as he took a long drag of his cig. “And I think he got the message pretty loud and clear after that.”
Johnny and Cal shared a pointed look as a weighted silence followed Benny’s statement. 
“Jesus, kid,” Wahoo murmured. “This girl’s really got you whipped.”
Benny really didn’t want to have this conversation with an audience. He came here in search of Johnny to seek out his advice, but now that he’d confessed to the group, he felt somewhat . . . smaller. He’d never been one to struggle with his confidence, to care what others thought of him. But the idea that you were upset with him, that maybe you didn’t want him anymore, that maybe he’d ruined his luck with you before he’d even had a taste, well, that just struck Benny deep in his chest. It made his fist clench tightly at his side, made his heart beat a little faster.
Suddenly, Johnny was beside him, hand clapping his shoulder in a friendly manner. “Well, if that’s what made ‘em run away, then it sounds like he was no good anyway.”
Benny remained silent, picturing the sight of you walking away from him last night, choosing to walk home in the dark rather than let him drive you back. 
“So, she’s mad at you for that?”
Benny nodded. 
Johnny shrugged. “Let me tell ya a little somethin’ about women; they may be the same species as us but they ain’t the same creature. They don’t think like you and I. When we see somethin’ that needs said or done, we just do it. But they’re more . . . compassionate, empathetic. She probably feels bad for that poor asshole. Probably just wants ya to apologize to him.”
Benny wanted to roll his eyes. He knew all of this. He wasn’t an idiot. “Well, I told her I wasn’t apologizing for it.”
Groaning sounded behind him and Benny clenched his jaw defensively. “I’m not. I can’t apologize for somethin’ I don’t feel sorry for. I don’t regret runnin’ him off and I'd do it again if I have to.” Though if he needed to do it again, he’d probably not openly tell you again. 
“Then you’re goin’ to have to find another way to get back into her good graces, kid.” Johnny shook his head and Benny thought he saw a hint of a smile in his face as he turned away. "You'll think of somethin'."
******
You’d changed your clothes three times before you gave up and just decided to wear the same thing you’d worn to your breakfast date with Pete. Could it be classified as a date? You weren’t even sure where you stood with him now. He seemed to fall back into his usual demeanor, but that was always so closed-off anyway. But so was your father, you supposed. You could see that in the way he’d sit at the head of the table, face hidden behind his newspaper. It was obvious in the way your mother repeated herself over and over again in an attempt to be heard. It was apparent when he was absent during all your years of school accomplishments. That was the normal. It seemed unfair to expect Pete to be any different.
So you went downstairs, packed up your cake (one you had made special for the charity) in the cooler and hopped on your bicycle. The ride to the church wasn’t far but it gave you more time to consider Pete as you waved to neighbors you passed. Though you actively tried to avoid it, you mind drifted to thoughts of Benny. Was he the type of person to wave to neighbors? What kind of neighborhood did he even live in?
By the time you showed up to the church, the event was in full swing. You parked your bike in the rack and carried your cooler through the tents and booths set up, smiling at friends as you went. You found the pastor's wife who directed you to the bake sale booth where there were a couple other girls already setting up. 
“What’ve you got there?” one of the older women asked as you approached, setting your cooler down on the table. 
“A cake.” you grinned as you pulled out the cake, setting it on the display. You had gotten up extra early today to get started on the desert, knowing the congregation was counting on you to supply the design. The inspiration for the design – admittedly taken from a certain biker who you would not be thinking about anymore – was a a field of brightly colored flowers surrounding the base with a family of tiny bunnies to decorate the top. You were pretty proud of it and to hear the ooo’s and ahh’s of the ladies surrounding you boosted your confidence. They set out a donation jar in front of your display and people began to filter by your booth to admire the goods and to grab a free brownie made by one of the other girls at the table. As the event went on and the sun shifted overhead, you thanked the donors and smiled for pictures, all the while your eyes scanned the crowd, hoping to find Pete close by. 
When there was a pause in the flow of foot traffic, you took the time to crouch below the table to replenish the paper plates when a deep, familiar voice broke through your concentration. 
“Got anymore of your famous cookies?” 
You looked up, gaze locking with the ocean blue eyes of none other than Benny Cross.
You gasped and stood up so quickly you nearly knocked your head on the corner of the table. He was staring unabashedly at you, even being so bold as to roam his eyes down your figure and you suddenly wished you had changed into something a little more formal. Ironic, you thought, considering Benny was anything but formal.
His gaze moved from you down to the cake on the table and his brows raised. “You make this, Little Bunny?”
You swallowed, ignoring the rush of butterflies at the nickname. “Mh-hm.”
He bent down to inspect it closer, hands pressing to his knees and you can’t look away. You couldn’t look away from the cerulean gaze beneath a wall of lashes. You couldn’t look away from the slope of his nose nor the quirk of his mouth as he hummed a sound that came deep in his throat. And no, you couldn’t look away as your gaze traveled down his signature denim jacket to the exposed tanned skin of his arms, the muscle tone enough to make your eyes widen. You certainly didn’t want to look away from his hands over his knee as a flash of heat filled your core at the thought of his hands encasing your own knee.
Benny’s eyes flashed back up to meet yours. “You’re incredible.”
You nearly melted at his words, face heating up and you had to break his intense eye contact.
He stood back to his full height. “If it tastes half as good as it looks, I think I might be in trouble.”
There he goes again with those damn double innuendos. You started to smile but then you remembered you were still mad at him, that you weren’t supposed to be happy to see him or to hear his flirty voice. “You already are in trouble, remember?”
“Oh, right.” Benny grinned sheepishly. “I still gotta do somethin’ about that, don’t I?”
You raised your brow at him as you crossed your arms trying to look more confident than you felt. “You don’t have to do anything, Benny. It’s a free country.”
He narrowed his eyes playfully. “But it’s what you want me to do, right? Apologize to ‘em?”
“No, he . . . wouldn’t like that,” you admitted, “I don’t think that’d be a very good idea to involve him anymore.”
Without missing a beat, he said, “Then I guess I’ll just have to win you over again.”
“Who said you won me over a first time?” You challenged, standing up a little straighter.
Benny just grinned, a shit-eating grin that you weren’t sure if you wanted to smack or kiss off his face. You watched as he retrieved his wallet from his back pocket. He slipped out a five dollar bill between two of his dexterous fingers and dropped it into your donations jar.
“See ya around, kid,” he said with a wink before turning and leaving you standing there wide-eyed and fighting a smile.
-Tag List-
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808len808 · 10 months
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Breaking point
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!Pupppy Leon S. Kennedy x Gender Neutral Reader!
Summery: Your poor pup was to scared to tell you that he's going into heat.
Authers note: I don't know what this is, I wrote half of it while I was drunk and the rest I wrote in the span of a month so the first part of the story is a bit messy, but I promise it gets better. !Disclaimer: by puppy Leon I mean a hybrid, I do not support zoophilia!
!Warnings!: Nsfw themes, "Reader" can be all genders.
(Words: 4,405)
(sorry if it's cringe 😭)
The summer had ended, well at least the vacation. it was the most awesome vacation of Leon’s life! You were home every single day, he went where you went day in and day out. To the park, lake, and forest, but also at home. He got all the attention. But now you had to leave for work again for 5 days a week from 9 to 5 and he was stuck at home, waiting for his precious owner to come back.
He spent most of his time just lying down in spaces where your scent was strongest, couch, bedroom, those spots. Usually, he’d stay on the couch sleeping or thinking about you, how you would greet him with a smile when you came back, how you would pet that special spot between his ears, his tail already started wiggling at the thought of it. 
Fuck, this was too hard. He looked at the clock; only 3 more hours, but for him it felt like years, mostly because he couldn’t sleep anymore, and because he really had to go out for a walk. 
He got up from the couch and went to the kitchen to see if you had accidentally left any food for him to grab, but unfortunately nothing, he could try to stand up and grab something from inside the cabinets, but then he would feel bad for disobeying you, then he wouldn’t be a good boy.
Ever since the summer vacation, he felt the need to be around you so much stronger, he felt the need to be with you at all times, to receive praise, to be held, to be cradled, and most importantly to please you. 
His ears perked up, suddenly feeling something in his stomach, it was weird, he went over to your bedroom your scent only growing stronger just like the feeling on his stomach. When you first adopted him you didn’t let him into your bedroom at all hoping to make a clear line between owner and pet but along the summer that line started to fade. The few nights he would spend the night curled up against you on your bed were the best.
He felt incredibly proud even thinking back to one of those nights, just sleeping next to you, your fingers going through his hair until he fell asleep. 
A huff grasped through his nose whiffing up your scent, his nose going up in the air. A small shiver went down his spine as he continued sniffing, trying to pinpoint the strongest scent, it was a whole different scent that he smelled, it reminded him of sweat but different much nicer, much more attractive, like it was pulling him towards itself. 
He followed his nose eagerly, coming to the bathroom connected to your room, he stopped in his tracks. He’s never been in your bathroom. He stared at the scary door gulping, he still had plenty of time before you would arrive home, but he already felt bad contemplating breaking your rules, well you never specifically said he couldn’t go in there… the times he tried, you had told him to wait outside or wait in the living room because you were having “alone time” whatever that meant. 
But now he was alone, he took one glance behind him, checking if you hadn’t suddenly come back. Luckily you didn’t, so he went in gently opening the door. It was just a regular bathroom, shower, toilet, sink with a mirror, so where did the scent come from?
Leon’s eyes scanned the room until he spotted the hamper, placed in the corner. He quickly hopped his way over, looking to claim his price. He stuck his nose in the pile of clothes in the hamper, all yours and a few of his garments. 
He never used to wear clothes, it wasn’t normal for hybrids to do, but since he was more on the human side -the only dog thing about him being his tail, ears, and senses, having human parts, and being able to do human things, he could walk and talk but it was just a harder to do so, he preferred not to but ever since he got off the streets, and adopted you learned him to do so,  also made him wear clothes. He still preferred to be shirtless so he would crawl his way out of them every chance he got.-
anywayyyy back to the story.
His hands mixed in throwing things away until he found the source, one pair of underwear more specifically your underwear. He happily took it in his mouth without a single thought. Proud to have found what he was searching for he went back to his crate, taking the used garment in his hands as he laid on his soft mat sniffing it until he dared to lick. An intense feeling sent shocks through his body, he felt something beneath him twitch. He didn’t register what happened. A breathy huff escaped his lips, but it sounded more like a whine. Hot flashed his face, taking another lick just to test if it would happen again, it did. 
His belly tingled a small sense of excitement filled his mind, he continued to lap only making the ominous feeling between his legs grow nose buried in the piece of clothing, curled up in his bench. 
He didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep when you came back, he excitedly sprung up, tail wagging behind as you turned the key into the lock greeted by Leon’s big blues you closed the door behind you before getting down to pet him, he eagerly leaned in your touch small puffs leaving his nose as you pet his head to the place between his ears back to under his soft jawline. 
“I missed you so much!” Leon excitedly told you almost panting. 
He looked so excited you felt bad stopping now, you walked over to the couch, Leon almost blocking your way by circling around your legs. “Come here,” you giggled as you invited Leon to the space next to you on the couch. You didn’t have to tell him twice, he immediately jumped to the spot landing half on you in an over-enthusiastic way, he pushed one hand on your thigh encouraging you to continue petting him, which you gladly did.
“I was sooo lonely, I missed you so much, it’s so boring without you! I’m so so happy you’re back!” Leon rapidly bladdered making you chuckle a bit, he was always so energetic which could be tiring but you didn’t mind right now, it was actually kind of nice to have someone who was always excited to see you. 
Minutes passed, and he was still pressed against you talking your ear off with things he had thought of today, your petting eventually slowed into soft strokes, Leon’s tail slowed down as he ran out of things to say a big content smile on his face his ears were back eyes closed almost purring into your touch. So relaxed. 
It was all your normal routine until you spotted something particular, your underwear, in Leon’s crate. Your brows furrowed looking back to the innocent puppy next to you. After a bit of thinking and mostly contemplating what to do about it you got up from the soft cushions. Leon perked up confused at the loss of touch. He saw you walk over to his crate crouching down to examine your piece of clothing like it was a crime scene. 
“Leon? What’s this?” you asked looking over your shoulders to meet his worried eyes. He knew that look, and immediately he was stressed, Oh no did he do something bad? He really didn’t want to be a bad boy! What did he do?!
Leon tilted his head in shame not wanting to respond. Not knowing what to say, scared he would make it worse.
“Come over here,” you ordered, your voice rather sweet than commanding, hoping to not worsen Leon’s nervousness any further He hopped off the couch and did a small walk of shame to the crate, tail tucked between his legs, next to where you were crouched he sat down, trying to prove that he was still a good boy. 
“Well?” you started to get impatient. The scared dog avoided your eyes, going back to the now wet underwear. “I-… I just missed your scent…” Leon pleaded, looking up to you trying to win you over with his sad puppy eyes. You narrowed your eyes thinking of a way to teach your pup that this wasn’t okay, but you just couldn’t find it in you to punish him, until he spoke up again. 
“I just- it tasted so…good” Leon explained further as if it would help him, it didn’t, in fact, it did the opposite.
The gears inside of your head finally spun. Your scent, he wanted all your attention, the way he pawed at you all the time, this wasn’t a pet owner situation, he was attracted to you. 
You gulped deeply staring into Leon’s eyes, nothing but innocence and worry, the poor thing probably didn’t even know what he was feeling. Your lips pressed together into a thin line, you needed to stop this before it got out of hand even when you felt bad doing it. 
You picked your undies up, moving to stand up. Leon stayed down his eyes following your every move. “Leon,” you started putting away your feelings, you needed to set boundaries, you needed to be responsible here. “You can’t pick up my clothes, those are mine, not yours.” He looked down at his hands, anxiety spreading over his face, but you weren’t done yet he needed to learn there were consequences to his actions.
“I also do not want you to go into my room or the bathroom while I’m not home.” He absently nodded seeming like he was at the brink of tears for being called out alone. “Now I know you hate this, but you need to learn that there’s consequences to your actions.” His head shot up, panic in his eyes as you strictly pierced his eyes with yours. “no-no-please,-I’ll be good-I’ll never do it again-please,” he tried but you didn’t budge you stood your ground while pointing at his cage, Leon already knew what was coming to a terrified look on his face -god he is so dramatic- as you pointed to his crate. 
“No-no-no!”He franticly shook his head. “please, I don’t wanna go!” He pawed at your ankles pleading. You stood your ground. “Leon,” you warned, he knew he was only making it worse by begging but he really, really didn’t want to go on the crate. “Please-I’m sorry- I’m really-sorry- please!” He looked at you from where he was sitting his bottom lip trembling as he felt his eyes start to water.
“I’m not going in! I can’t- you can’t make me!” He raised his voice, which made you glare down at him. Immediately his ears went down as he felt himself cripple under your glare. 
“Bad. Boy. Go in your cage.” Tears started to fall you felt guilty for hurting your precious pup, especially about making him cry, but you didn’t let it show, you stayed cold and emotionless. He let out a small whimper as he obliged, unable to deny your order, he looked back almost betrayed, like he hadn’t had this coming. 
“It’s just for the night,” you said as you closed the bench trapping Leon in the iron bars, a soft mat, and a blanket on the ground (because you are not a monster) his fingers clamped around the bars. You left, you had eaten out, so you didn’t have any more business in the living room. You made your way back to your bedroom, throwing the clothes Leon had spread across the bathroom back into the hamper, throwing away your underwear later. 
So there he was, he had been so excited to be around you all day, and he actually could do that right now, be curled up against you snuggling but no, instead he was trapped in this cage, this prison the restraint that kept him from going to you. He sighed feeling betrayed in some way. He didn’t understand what he had done wrong, of course, he knew that picking your clothes was wrong, but getting punished for it, that’s a bit too much.
You never punished Leon ever, so this was really strange. Leon was confused but mostly felt bad, so very bad for making you disappointed in him. He curled up on the crate hugging the blanket in sorrow pretending that it was you as the last lights went out. 
-
The morning came agonizingly slow for Leon, the lack of sleep making him hump up as you entered the room, he sat up tail already swooshing side to side regardless of his exhaustion. You walked in your pajamas to his bench Leon’s fingers grasping the metal begging for his release. 
You kneeled down to his level, right in front of him. “Are you going to be a good boy?” you asked tilting your head in a questioning way, he nodded as fast as possible. “Talk,” you demanded. “Yes, yes I’ll be good,” he begged, half shaking the bars, you complied unlocking his “prison”. 
He almost jumped onto you making you sit back down on the ground. “I’m so sorry- it will never happen again, I promise, I promise,” he repeated over and over again as he tried to get you to hug him, you let out a breath chuckle and complied, “It’s okay sweetheart.” You pet his head to which he smiled even more leaning in your touch as he always did. 
And there it was again, that funny feeling in his stomach. At first, he thought it was just hunger, but the more you pet him the more he wanted to stay closer to you, press against you. The arousal pooling in his stomach stayed even when you pulled away, even when you fed him, even when you went out for a walk, and even when you left for work again. 
Leon was left alone with that unfamiliar feeling in his stomach leaving him to do the figuring out, Leon lay on his signature place on the couch. You had bought him a book for him to read. A simple book, just to help Leon fit in with the human side of him, also forcing him to walk upright on his feet when in public, he found it hard and tiring but he wasn’t about to disappoint you, not after he already did. 
So maybe that was why he was picking up the book, and starting to try and read it. It was easy enough. As time passed the feeling in his stomach tightened, like his organs were tormenting him. It wasn’t necessarily unpleasant, more like a neediness for something, only he didn’t know what. 
It came to the point where he couldn’t focus on the words anymore, his problem shadowed all his thoughts and made sure it was impossible for the poor pup to think straight. The only thing he noticed was that his pants felt small, smaller than usual, even when he had gotten used to them by now, they suddenly felt too small.
Leon frowned putting the book down to finally try and do something about his problem, he looked down to check if he could see anything from the outside. His face lit up as if he had just opened the previously used oven, and slapped the heat in his face, down his body making his skin tingle.
His hands followed the skin of his stomach expecting to find some kind of bruise or lump, but nothing only hot skin. His hand found its way to his pants to see if he could feel anything there. He let out an embarrassingly loud whine as he felt the bulge tenting his pants. His eyes dared to look down, only gasping at the sight, his hands weren’t betraying him, there really was a huge bulge. 
Contemplating what to do he experimentally cupped it with his hand through his pants, a whine even louder ran over his tongue, so hard that he swore he could hear it echoing through the walls.
But it felt good, it felt sensitive, but in a good way, in a very very good way, he has to feel it again. He slightly squeezed the bulge making his stomach turn in a way that felt so satisfying he couldn’t help but double over. 
Leon could feel his body trembling not used to these sensations at all, but he couldn’t stop, he started to create a small friction for himself, trying to satisfy this overwhelming need he suddenly felt. 
His hips involuntarily jerked up in his hand making his crotch throb as a whine left his mouth, his eyes closing in concentration trying to find whatever he needed, but it was hard to think, he felt so powerless, so desperate for something, but what was that something? 
Leon’s hand slightly sped up making him pant. His whole body felt on fire, so hot, he felt the need to take his suffocating clothes off but was too overwhelmed to do so. 
He kept going his legs trembling hands shaking sweat making everything stick together, but it still wasn’t enough, Leon didn’t understand, he never felt this, and frankly, he didn’t understand one bit of it. 
Eventually, his member felt like it was going numb. Leon desperately kept going even when it was starting to hurt, but to no avail, it just wasn’t enough. His hand stopped and so did the friction, his thoughts coming back to him together with a worried feeling, what even was that? What happened? He was left feeling guilty somehow like he did something shameful even when it felt so good. Was it bad? Was Leon doing something bad? 
He started to feel stressed, it feels bad now… and he really didn’t want to disobey you again especially when he was already put in the crate yesterday. Just then the lock turned, Leon’s ears perked up he hadn’t even smelled you, his arousal taking up all the scent in the room. 
Leon quickly jumped off the couch tail turning into a blur by how hard it was wagging. He was more excited than ever to see you. He whined a bit as he struggled to walk over to the door, the now painful bulge rubbing against his pants, he needed to get them off but that was not the priority right now. The priority was you.
You opened your front door, Leon’s face immediately greeting you, you always loved to come home to him, and his sweet smile, it grew only brighter as he saw you. (2 meninges 😧😏) 
“Hi! how’s your day?” Leon immediately spoke as you walked in hanging your coat up and sighing not noticing Leon’s state.
“It was fine” you shrugged putting away your shoes and patting Leon’s head. “How about you, have you been a good boy?” You said grinning as Leon grew red. “Mhm, I’ve been good all day,” Leon answered only it was a lie, a lie because he wasn’t a good boy. He did something new and it felt bad so so bad and he was scared to tell you. What if you’ll put him in his cage again? He’d rather lie than be imprisoned again. 
You walked over to the kitchen picking out food from the cabinets. “Yeah? What you do all day pup?” Leon followed you into the kitchen looking at the ingredients you put on the marble countertop. 
Leon thought his tail still rapidly swinging behind him. “I read like you told me to.” Leon smiled sheepishly at you ignoring the pain he was feeling downstairs. He could ignore it, he would ignore it for you. 
But eventually, you break, eventually, you burst, as any normal person does. A pup can’t hold something that big from you, and hide his pain…
His breaking point came at midnight. 
He was happily cuddled by you, he adored being small spoon. Until he woke up, drenched in sweat, panting, every piece of skin sticking to something. Leon groaned the world coming to him as he awoke his eyes and mouth dry. Waves of pain hit him from his crotch through his legs, a small whine escaped as he looked down, it was still the same, it was a wonder you hadn’t noticed yet. 
Leon’s whole body was in a state of fight or flight his senses heightened. He couldn’t take this anymore. He whined again as he stood up, legs trembling under his weight as he made it to the bathroom. He felt like throwing up. He struggled to grab a hold of the sink hoping for some stability but the cold on his sweaty hand only made him hiss. 
He was hot and cold at the same time, was it some kind of fiver? No this was different much different. Another wave of heat surged through Leon’s body his face red his lungs having trouble keeping up with his heavy breathing. He couldn’t look at himself in the mirror, his eyes caught glimpses down his body but none registered. With whines still leaving him he clawed at his clothes trying to wiggle his way out of them. The pants dropped to the tiles and so did his shirt everything was off but still he was as hot as one can be.
It was all too much and what was worse was that he didn’t even know what was going on. At this point Leon didn’t care if he got sent to his cage he just wanted the pain to stop nothing else mattered. 
He shook as he stumbled back into the bedroom. “Leon?” You asked just woken up as well, squinting your eyes to make out your pup’s features. His breath and his whimpers together with Leon not responding got you worried. “Leon, are you okay?”
“Please,” he whined collapsing next to you on the bed. “Please what? What’s going on?” Your voice continued to grow more and more worried. You turned and switched the light on, and there he was in full light his chest heaving up and down sweat dripping down his face, his ears flat on his head. His eyes closed tight his eyebrow furrowing into a painful look. 
With one glance down everything became clear. “Oh, baby,” you muttered softly. He was going in heat. “What’s wrong with me?” Leon choked out. “Nothing sweetheart, nothing at all,” you reassured brushing strands of hair that stuck to his face away. 
“I’m going to help you okay?” Leon nodded frantically in response tears brimming his eyes as tears slowly fell down his face, landing on the pillow, your sweet pup, he must be in so much pain for so long, poor thing was suffering in silence all this time and you hardly noticed. 
He was squirming waiting for you to do something, to do anything, anything to make the pounding in his head go away. His consciousness almost faded when you scratched behind his ears making his tail wag despite the pain he was in. It thumps against the white covers beneath him with it forming a small smile on your face.
“You’ll be fine sweetheart, I’ll take care of you,” you cooed softly multitasking as you moved your hand down his sticky body going gently over all his shapes and moles, going over the small trail of hair leading to the source of his problem. His hips jerked up a few times as you did. 
His cute little cock stood high and proud, pearly beads leaping down his length it was a beautiful sight. Under normal circumstances, you would’ve admired your pet for hours like this but this was a case with urgency and there was no time to spare.
Leon’s eyes shot open when you wrapped your hand around his base, a hand flying up to your shirt to take a handful of the soft fabric. “Wh-what?” He looked up at you with big eyes then back to the scene, blinking. Before he could do or say anything else you stroked up and down again. Leon quickly deflated, eyes rolling back as his head fell back into the pillow. Whines and whimpers fell from his mouth as you continued.
You started off slow so he could catch up with you twisting your wrists a few times and pulling utteral moans of pleasure from him. His plump lips kept parted eyes half-lidded going down and up with the movement of your hand and then to your own eyes. He strictly held on to your shirt as if his life depended on it his grip only growing stronger with every stroke of your hand. 
“Hmm-s’good-please-nhgh,” incoherent mumbles escaped his lips it was adorable. His pitch went up only higher and higher to a point that you almost couldn’t recognize the vulnerable voice of your pup. 
You sped up, his hips struggling to keep up with your pace, his eyelids scrunched together, you grabbed the hand holding your shirt and wrapped it in yours intertwining your hands while the other was cramping on Leon’s puppy dick. His tail was rapidly moving the sheets his ears perked up straight into the air. 
“Ah-wait-!” You didn’t react or wait instead you did the opposite only going faster. Leon let out a gut-wrenching moan his voice cracking into a whimper multiple times as he came white sputtered all over his stomach, continuing to drip down the white sheets as more continued to flow and coat your hand with sticky white ropes.
You slowly stopped, leaving his cock flat, Leon hesitantly opened one eye before the other a sit he was scared but he only saw your sweet smile. Before he could open his other eye you had your clean hand which was previously holding his, in Leon’s hair. “Good job Leon” you comfort his ears immediately twitching as you did. 
A cheeky smile was returned his cute bright eyes staring at you with excitement. “I did good?” He sat up slightly, the bed dipping in weight as he did. “Yeah, you did amazing sweetheart.” You cupped his cheek he sighed and closed his eyes, his body turning soft in your touch. 
1K notes · View notes
sk8terhoons · 2 months
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Sunghoon fic recs
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@asahicore Cherry Pits
This fic contains smut
Pairing: Dilf!hoon x younger!fem reader, neighbors to lovers
Word Count: 12.9k
Synopsis: Your alarmingly empty bank account forces you to find a last-minute summer job so that you can afford a trip with your friends. The extremely handsome customer that comes into the store just happens to be a young single dad who's renovating the old house next to yours. The tension that settles between the two of you as you start helping him fix up his house soon becomes unbearable, but it's all one-sided anyway, right?
More fics under cut!
@asahicore Stupid In Love
This fic contains smut
Pairing: hoon x fem reader, childhood best friends to lovers
Word Count: 22.1k
Synopsis: One night early on in your summer vacation, your best friend Sunghoon admits that his biggest anxiety about starting college is going there as a virgin - one thing leads to another, and you end up learning a few things from each other. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that your feelings for each other surpass friendship, but with the end of summer looming over your heads, it's hard to tell where these newfound emotions will lead you.
@jaylaxies To All The Boys I’ve Fucked Before, To The Boy: Who Took Me To Prom
This fic contains smut
pairing: Best friends brother!hoon x fem reader
Word Count: 19.6k
Synopsis: Prom—the last event of senior high school was right around the corner, but the only person who you wanted to go with had rejected you for his own reasons, leaving you upset and unwilling to attend the event. however, your best friend, mina, was hellbent on making you attend it and being a sweetheart, she ends up persuading her brother, sunghoon, to be your date for the night.
@zreamy SPF 23
This fic contains smut
Pairing: Sunghoon x fem!reader
Word Count: 31.8k
Synopsis: For as long as you can remember, your summers have been much the same, largely spent in your hometown, relaxing by the local pool. when you get back home this summer, things seem like they'll go the same way, until you get to the pool that is — when did the lifeguard get so hot?
@neo-percs Deep End
This fic contains smut
Pairing: Rich!Sunghoon x fem!reader
Word Count: 36.6k
Synopsis: After saving Sunghoon from drowning at the local pool; y/n offers to give him swimming lessons which leads into way more than expected.
@simpjaes Night Shift
This fic contains smut
Pairing: Boss/ Cam boy!hoon x afab reader
Word Count: 4.5k
Synopsis: Sunghoon, a keen and professional man between the hours of 8 AM to 5 PM. ServiceKing, a faceless and proud man between the hours of 9 PM to 12 AM. Sunghoon’s secret night-life has nothing to do with the faces he sees day after day...until it does.
Or the one where you pay for a one on one call with a faceless cam guy you’ve been watching for a little while, and the next day your boss is avoiding you like the plague. 
@simpjaes Day Shift
This fic contains smut
Pairing: Boss/ Cam boy!hoon x afab reader
Word Count: 14.5k
Synopsis: After finding out that your boss has seen, heard, and instructed you through some pleasurable nights while parading around as a faceless cam-boy, you decide that your best course of action is to: call out sick. use vacation days. avoid Park Sunghoon at all costs. Unfortunately, ten days doesn’t appear to be nearly enough time to erase what’s happened, and Sunghoon refuses to be avoided.
Or the one where sunghoon pretends that he isn’t an anxious mess over accidentally exposing himself and you just so happen to have a lot of fucking empathy. 
@jlheon Love Exists, I’m Full Of It
This fic contains smut
Pairing: Situationship!hoon x fem reader
Word Count: 2.7k
Synopsis: When park sunghoon breaks up with his long time girlfriend he needs something to get his mind off her, you happen to be the perfect distraction : a girl who’s naive and has never had a boyfriend
My 1st fic rec list! I hope you all love it, I worked super hard to pick my favs so i hope you all enjoy!
296 notes · View notes
onakomiyaki · 4 months
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just a silly crush (not) pt.3
pairing : daniel ricciardo x childhood friend-brabham!reader
summary : turns out you're not as stong as you think you are, and you were sure that you've made a mistake. or are you?
warning : unedited and rushed work, harsh words, slowburn.
a/n : GOSH THIS WILL BE A LONG ONE IM SORRY-
masterlist
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there is nothing better than to be able to sat on your own bed, any 5 stars hotels will never beat the comfort of your own bed and you know it very well.
"finally." you said as you plopped onto your bed, falling head first to your king-sized mattress.
you inhale deeply as you close your eyes before exhaling slowly through your mouth.
"no one can ever replace you..." you mumble to your pillow as you close your eyes.
you always love your own bed. the familiar lavender scent, the lovely satin pillow, and most importantly your navy blue hand-made knitted blanket that you got for your 17th birthday.
it was one of those chunky knitted blanket that everyone obsessed about back in 2017. and you're proud to say that you did it first in 2007, ten years before that thing even trending. well, actually, daniel gave it to you so he did it first.
you remember how adamant you are about him buying you gifts for your 17th birthday. you knew he would spent lots of money because he was is that extra, and you knew money is not a problem for him.
"c'mon (y/n), let me buy you gift for your birthday before i move to italy."
and you can't say no to that. but of course you gave him a budget and told him no expensive shit because it won't be special (since you can buy it also) and daniel happily agree.
so when he gave you a huge blue box, you'd expected something like a huge teddy bear. but you remember telling him that you hate teddy bear.
"open it, open it!"
and when you open the box you let out an audible gasp as you pull the blanket out of the box. the soft merino wool engulf you, and you squeel in excitement as you put yourself in a cocoon of the blanket. daniel watch in amusement as he ruffle your hair.
"i asked one of my friend's sister to make it for you. i paid her don't worry!"
and now back to present day, 14 years later, the blanket still there with you. although its not as fluffy as it used to be, you still snuggle with it when you having trouble to sleep. but of course no one knew about that, not even daniel himself.
the navy blue blanket is draped over your sofa, sitting there snuggly. you always put it on your sofa since the accident that almost cost you that blanket. it was 3 years ago and you remember you're about to cry when you saw that the threads is coming lose because you accidently pull the blanket too hard when you were having a 'guest' on your bed while doing the devil's tango.
the phone on your back pocket vibrate and you relucantly take your phone out and answer the call. must be important.
"hello?"
"(y/n) this is lando norris."
you sat down now, sitting with your legs pulled close to your chest. why the hell lando would call you at this hours? its 1 past 15 a.m right now.
"oh, yeah. what's up bud?"
"we're in budapest right now and daniel is wasted... and i heard that you live here, can you pick him up? i can't take him back with my car since i'm here with my plus one, and calling uber at this hours seems dangerous–"
"god i am not a good driver, when did it all went wrong??"
'– daniel don't go there its dangerous! daniel– oh god i have to go he's about to walk to the pool!"
"what? lan–lando? hello?"
your exhaustion seems to gone instantly, make you shoot up from your bed. you grab your purse and car key as you running to your garage, almost tripped when you descent from your the top of the stairs.
thanks to baby jesus you're still in fairly 'decent' clothes so you don't have to worry about changing it. what you didn't think about was grabbing a coat, and boy the cold weather bite your skin.
but you could care less about being cold. daniel is your top concern. him being drunk is something you rarely see because of his high alcohol tolerance, and you know the situation is bad if he is wasted. you don't know what happen, but maybe it had to do with the hungary grand prix. you have not watched the race so you don't know what happen.
you drove out from your garage as you fumble with your bluetooth connection. your aston martin dbs roar in the almost silent road as you finally able to connect your phone.
you clicked a call button from your car, quickly calling lando again as you drove like a maniac. budapest is almost two hours drive from your place in szeged, so you have to turn yourself into an f1 driver.
"lando, drop your location i'm on my way from szeged."
"szeged? you don't live in budapest? (y/n) its two hours drive, will you be fine? should i go order uber instead?"
"yes i'll be fine lando, just drop the location."
"okay i'll send you the location."
"i'll be there as fast as i can, you keep an eye on daniel okay?"
"okay, will do. thanks (y/n). drive safely– daniel get back here!"
you cursed under your breath as you maneuver through the quiet road. thank god the tram is already stop working in this wee hours and the street is fairly quiet.
beads of sweats starting to form on your forehead as you watch your speedometer. god you really drove like a robber who got chased by the police.
you watch your navigation and gosh it still 1 hour and 20 minutes despite you driving like your life depends on it.
"fucking hell..." you said as you accelerate your car, hitting your record on the fastest you ever drove a normal car.
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lando bit his lip nervously as he hold daniel, basically hugging the man from wandering away. daniel sobs quietly as he slump against lando, eyes half closed and the younger man watch in sympathy.
the reason of the man drinking carelessly was his race result today. p11, not even scoring for the team after his p5 at silverstone. lando had dnf-ed so he understand the frustration, but deep down he knew that its different for daniel.
he remember how daniel had avoided everyone like a plague, including him. so when daniel invite him to go to the club he immediately agree, only to find him already drinking and half drunk on the bar.
"where i went wrong lando?" daniel asked for the umpteenth time that night.
lando sigh as he softly rub the older's arm.
"its just one race daniel. you're not wrong at all." he said.
lando's plus one had gone to buy some mineral water as him and daniel sat down on the curb. he watch as the older man start to aggressively hit his own chest, lips pouting. the sight of drunk daniel is a little adorable. a little.
"its my fault... i'm sorry i can't score for us lando. sorry i finish empty handed."
"lan, i got the water." luisinha give the cold water bottle to lando.
"thanks lu, sorry you have to run i need to keep an eye on this baby."
luisinha laugh as she sat down beside lando, watching how daniel mumble incoherent words. "its all good... beside, he need you right now." she said, fanning daniel's face with her hand.
"what he need is (y/n) honestly," he said as he wipe the sweat on daniel's temple. "daniel, drink this." he said as he sat daniel straight, bringing the bottle close to his mouth.
daniel grumble as he open his mouth, taking the bottle of water from lando's hand and slowly emptying the bottle. some trickles of water slide to his throat.
there is a screech of tires not far from them. lando turn his head at the noise as he watch you half running to their direction. his eyes widened at the sight of you. just how fast you drove here? its only been an hour and fifteen minutes since he sent you his location.
you were wearing a white camisole and some black sweatpants, a white nike air force and hair in messy bun. lando was sure she saw you shivering a little from the cold and he watch in awe as you kneel down in front of daniel.
"is he okay?" you asked, voice trembling.
"well see it for yourself." lando said.
there are some tears stain on daniel's cheeks and your heart ache at the sight of him. you slowly caress his cheek and he lean into your touch, eyes still closed.
"you've been driving only in those? aren't you cold?" lando asked pointing your decent outfits
"yeah, it is cold. and yeah i am driving basically topless. i also run past few red lights." you answer, huffed as you lightly tap daniel's cheeks.
"what?!"
"i'll be okay. i'll pay for the fine if they caught me," you shrugged. "do you know where he stayed?"
lando nods his head as he stand. "same hotel as me, i'll lead the way. just follow my car. how fast you drive?"
"mate, you don't want to know."
"fine... i just want to know if you got that racer blood in you."
"just-help me with daniel, please." you said as you put daniel arm around your shoulder, ready to hoist him.
"hey, let me." lando said, stopping you before kneeling in front of daniel, back facing him. he swiftly move daniel arms around his shoulder.
lando hoist daniel on his back, and the sight is so bizarre. lando grunts as he walk to your car and daniel's legs drag lazily since he is significantly taller than him.
you and luisinha walk side by side ahead of the briton in comfortable silent. she had offer you lando's jacket which you politely refuse since she is also in sleeveless dress.
"sorry for ruining your date." you smile apologetically to her and she just wave you off with a smile.
"its not a big deal, really." she smile.
"(y/n) open the door–ugh–quick! he is so heavy." lando grunts and you open the passenger door.
he drop daniel down slowly before strapping the seatbelt on his body. his chest rise and fall in rapid motion as he slowly close the door of your car.
"well that's a workout." he simply mumble, hands on his hips.
"thank you lando... you don't have to do all this but you still did, i appreciate it." you said, pulling lando to a hug.
the young briton laugh as he reply your hug, patting your back gently. "no problem y/n. now, lets go before you get hypothermia." he said.
you drive slowly pass the empty road, following lando's car in silent. every now and then you stole a glance to your friend, who is sleeping rather soundly. you slowly stroke his hair since he lean towards you, almost falling from the seat.
"y/n..." daniel softly calls your name.
you stop your movement as you watch how his face seems to contort in sad emotion. he looks so hurt.
"i'm here big guy." you whisper as you return your hand to his hair.
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after another help from lando, you manage to somehow put daniel on the bed. you had bid you a goodnight with luinsha before entering the building with a hug. lando, who originally insist on staying, give you a concern look.
"you sure you want me to go?" lando asked one more time as you lean on the door, hand folded in front of your chest.
"c'mon now, i've known this man even before you learn your a b c, norris." you answer, rolling your eyes at the him.
"we're not 20 years apart, y/n. in fact lewis is older than you and daniel. stop treating me like a kid." he protest.
you give him a ruffle on his hair, messing his already messed up curls. "i'll be okay, i can handle him. now go, don't make lui wait even more."
lando give you a nod as he walk away, waving at you before jogging down to his car where his date is waiting for him to return her to her hotel. you waved back at the briton, waiting for him to dissapear. as lando took a turn and gone, you close the door as you walk to daniel–who currently sprawled on the bed.
you slowly starting to take of his shoes along with his socks. carefully, you turn his body so that he lay down on his back. you take a deep breath as you carefully unbutton his tropical shirt, and you had to close your eyes for a bit.
"can i bite you instead?"
you stopped your hand as you reach the last two button of his shirt, opening your eyes to watch daniel and how his chest rise and fall slowly.
goddamit control yourself, y/n.
you bit your lower lips as you continue your task, finally manage to unbutton his shirt. you slowly move your hands, slowly undressing the man and hoping you won't disturb him.
but your breath hitched when you feel a steel grip on both of your wrist, and your eyes widened. daniel had open his eyes, staring directly into your soul with half-lidded eyes.
and you are basically on top of him, jerking your body back so you won't fall on top of him.
"y/n?" he sofly call you.
"hello big guy."
"wha- i'm-"
"you're sobering up. lemme get you some aspirin and water." you said as you slowly taking both of your hands from his grasp.
daniel drop your hands as he sat down, rubbing his eyes and and holding his pounding head. he stare down at his-now unbutton-shirt, before shedding the cloth opting to go shirtless. he aimlessly throw his shirt then laying down again, this time massaging his temple.
you took the aspirin from your bag and then walk towards daniel, not forgetting the cold water bottle.
"drink this. and please put on some shirt." you said as you rolled your eyes, handing him both the aspirin tablet and water.
"why don't you put on shirt first?" he answer, sitting down once again as he drank the tablet and washing it down with water.
"well, thanks to you, dickhead, i forgot my coat. i had to turn myself into a f1 driver just so i can get you here." you said as you sit down on the sofa, right across him.
he feel his soberness coming back to him slowly and he feel how his stomach churn. so he walk towards the bathroom, washing his face with cold water.
"you've been driving in those?" he asked, half shouting from the bathroom.
"yeah." you answer, eyes on your phone as you let out a small yawn.
"who called you to pick me up?"
"lando norris. and also what the hell man, i thought you're wasted."
"my head is still pounding y/n, i am wasted."
"well, you're sober enough to nags."
daniel took a small towels from the shelf as he look at his reflection, noticing the redness of his eyes and his tears stain. he wash his face once again, making sure he got rid his tears stain. then he make his way to your direction.
"y/n its... 3.25 a.m, aren't you cold?" daniel asked, small towel on his hand after he pat his face dry.
"m' fine." you said.
when you finally look up from your phone, your eyes instantly widen. daniel is standing in front of you, still shirtless as he look up at the ceiling. he seems to not noticing how you're struggling to look away from him as he close his eyes to flex his sore muscle.
"gosh i'm getting old, a little drink got me wasted." he said, still unaware how you are a flustered mess.
you slap his stomach, earning a grunt from your friend. he touch his stomach, shoulder hunched as he dramatically fall to the floor.
"you hurt me, i can't believe this." he said with overexagarate tone.
"just put on some goddamn clothes, ricciardo." you said as you lay down on the sofa, ignoring the dramatic aussie.
and so he did. he rose from the floor and walk to his suitcase, and taking a random t-shirt. he also taking his flannel shirt (that he didn't know he have) and throw it at you. you swiftly catch the flannel before it hit your face.
"what is this?" you asked as you open the shirt.
"its a shirt, dumbass" he said as he wear his t-shirt.
"and why you throwing this at me?"
daniel, who currently struggling with his jeans, looking at you silently. "wear that. and also turn you body, i want to take off my pants."
you rolled your eyes as you turn your body, facing at the head of the sofa as you drapped the shirt daniel gave you over your body.
"what you're hiding behind your pants anyway. its not like i'm gonna stare and oogle at your body or something, you won't affect me." you said.
"well turn around and face me then. see if i dont affect you." he challanged.
"no! what? i won't do it you creep."
"face me yourself or do you want me to flip your body myself?"
"i am not gonna face you, you bogan." you said with a huff.
truth be told you are scared of what gonna happen if you turn your body to face him. you don't know if you can see him in the same way you've seen him for this past 20 years.
but you felt his hand on your shoulder, and before you can react daniel already turn your body. you let out a gasp as you dumbly stare at daniel who is hovering you, trapping your body on the sofa.
daniel look so hot from this angle. has he always looked this good? 20 years of friendship and you just see how good-looking this man is when he hover over you?
he give you a smirk as he inching closer to your face. you can smell his perfume mixed with whiskey and you can feel his breath fanning over you.
"you said i won't affect you. but you are as red as a tomato now, y/n." he whisper, hand cradling your jaw.
"its hot in here, move away." you said, looking away from him.
red alert, this is dangerous.
"really? because i believe it is cold in here. i saw your body shivering y/n." daniel said, inching closer to your ear. you can feel his nose ghosting over your skin.
"daniel..." you called, trying to warn him.
"y/n..." he reply.
"danny you don't want to do this, you are drunk."
"but i want to. for a long time." he whisper as he nuzzle to your neck.
okay, you really need to get out of here before its too late.
"y/n, please?" he beg, lips almost attached to your neck.
he sound so desperate, so wounded, and you almost choke on your own spit.
ah screw this.
you turn your face, hands grabbing his face as you lean in for a kiss. daniel grunts as he slowly lower his body, hands immediately went to your waist. he kissed you back, finally tasting your lips after what felt like eternity.
you tilted your head when you feel his hand at the back of your thigh. he guide your leg wrap it around his waist as your body pressed together.
oh you're so screwed.
you both finally let go of the kiss, staring at each other with that mixed feeling. and with last ounce of sanity left in your body, you jerked your body up, pushing the poor daniel aside.
daniel fell with an oof, and you quickly stand up.
"this is wrong this is wrong." you mumble as you walk to the table, grabbing your purse and key.
"wait–y/n wait!" daniel said as he struggle to stand on his feet. "don't go–i'm sorry."
you basically run towards the door, opening the door harshly as daniel chase you. he calls your name but you ignore him, as you close the door behind you and immediately went for the elevator.
when the elevator door open you quickly enter and pressing the basement button. daniel was about to get you but the door is closing in.
"y/n–"
as the door finally closing, you lean on the wall before sinking to the floor. you hide your face in your hands, breath ragged from all the adrenaline rush.
"what the hell." you muttered.
as the elevator finally reach the parking lot you bolted out, quickly running towards your car. its not hard to find your car since its the only aston martin there. you quickly enter your car, revving the engine.
there is a ring from your phone and you believe that it's daniel. so you decided to ignore the call and just drove away from the hotel. you nervously bit your bottom lips, contemplating on what just happen back then.
this is not good.
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felassan · 2 months
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Mark Meer: "Dropped by the @/Modiphius booth at @/Gen_Con to check out their new @/masseffect board game! Thanks for having me, folks. 😎 #/GenCon2024 #/MassEffect" [source] Modiphius: "It was a pleasure having you stop by! So glad you liked the minis" [source] --- Calvin Wong Tze Loon, board game co-designer: "hi devon! hope we can meet one day, was lovely working on the game" [source] Devon Gardner, Consumer Products Licensing Manager at BioWare Edmonton: "I hope so too! Had so much fun working on the game, your knowledge and revence for the Mass Effect universe was/is inspiring. :) Surreal to see it all out there with people playing!" [source] Calvin: "listen how else are we to spread the gospel of calibrations" [source]
Some more from the upcoming Mass Effect board game, which had playable demos at Gen Con this weekend just past. :) the rest of this post is under a cut due to length.
The game will be $50 (they were aiming for $40 but didn't make it) and is co-op but also one player. the game contains 12 dice, 2 books, 5 character sheets, like 40 cards, 6 minis (for painting if you like), tokens and a rulebook. the game will also be available in Spanish. the game includes calibrations hh. they hope to release in "Novemberish"/Q4. it also sounds like they plan to create expansions for it!
it sounds like everyone who played the game at Gen Con during the demos loved it! co-designer of the board game Calvin Wong Tze Loon (who designed things such as abilities and lore for it) shared some insights about the creation of the game, and the feedback folks who played it at the con had, on Twitter:
"'even people who didn't play mass effect liked it' this makes me so happy because this was one of our target audiences. people who enjoy games but aren't necessarily fans of the series. aaaaaaaaaa" [source] "'solved many problems the genre typically struggles with' also really proud of this. as huge tactics nerds Eric and I are always trying to sand down issues that get between the player and the game. clunky line of sight. long set up. lots of admin and bookkeeping." [source] "'got to do [classic thing favorite character does] what more can you ask for' i put many, many, many hours into the character abilities. this was really hard. asymmetric but balanced. accurate to the video game but simple and intuitive. play well off each other, replayable..." [source] "'the mechanics and paragon/renegade represent mass effect so well' one of the biggest compliments i got is that everyone who's worked on this game whether at modi or bioware cannot wait to get their copies so they can keep playing it." [source] "there's a type of person who will see this box and go fuck yeah take my money, no questions asked but we still wanted them to feel like they got their moneys worth with it. we crammed this box about as full as we could but we worked super hard to make the experience easy and fun" [source] "we worked really hard to make the game as replayable and enjoyable as possible whether on playthrough 1 or 10. we know mass effect players love to replay the game over and over so we built that in from the start." [source] "when we started making the game out target was actually 40 dollars so it would be so absurdly cheap people would just impulse buy it but we didn't manage to get there" [source] "seriously i can't wait for people to play it" [source] "mordin was planned but we had to cut him because dev time was pretty short and also we ran out of space for his mini on 1 mould :(" [source] "god i spent SO many hours on the ability design but it's one of my favorite things to do so that's fine. i'm so glad it paid off. shepard's ability alone had like 20 versions" [source] "one of our goals for this game was to take the things we personally found were 'getting in the way' from tactics games and present solutions. 'find tile 13A'->map book. make campaigns short&replayable instead of 'see you in 6months for mission 2'. super long teaches." [source] "eric paid super extra attention to the graphics cause the game is pretty complex we wanted minimum friction in terms of ux" [source] Gavin Dady, Senior Project and Process Manager at Modiphius, also commented - "We also wanted to make not just a Mass Effect game, not just a good game, but a good Mass Effect game. Everybody involved said early on that it had to be an authentic Mass Effect experience and, gosh darn it, I think it is." [source] "We have review copies heading for the local relays in the next couple of weeks. Some are already in transit with Quarian fast couriers using hot-tuned drives." [source] "We've worked very hard to make sure it's not just a good game, or a Mass Effect game, but a good Mass Effect game. It's a franchise that is close to my heart too (I'm the project manager and visionary) so we spent a long time making sure we got it right." [source]
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[other post sources: source, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen]
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theavianlady · 2 months
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...tw? Tw.
TW: Gore, Blood, Injury, uh...Pain and Sadness-
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@psychologicalwarclaire
Ha ha! Tis I! I was the anon!
(Cue dramatic exclamations of disbelief)
Ahem. Tis the anniversary of Spider's Web with Strings Attached, and I wanted to make something! Go and read the fic if you haven't already; it's incredible.
Lots of ramblings and other versions under the cut (if anyone wants to see any other parts with or without different lighting and stuff that I didn't include, just let me know; I'm happy to share).
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This is the first (almost) completely original thing I've drawn digitally! Poses are really hard for me, so I'm super proud of this. No tracing, only references!
...so. Many. References.
Except for the bricks, which I'm not counting, because bricks are scary. And the chains. I used a brush. Chains are scary too.
I started July 28th, and then spent almost 40 hours across various canvases planning, experimenting, and actually working on this. Not including research. It took me absolutely forever, but I regret nothing.
Except for the fact that I spent over 6 hours just shading bricks. I didn't even draw them! I took a pattern for the grooves from google and filled it with black, (rotated and edited for some variance in their cells), and then did the red lighting and some shadows you can't even really see. For 6 hours.
I tried to draw their spider brooches many times, but I could not get them to look right (especially from a side angle), so I gave up. Let's all just pretend they're there until I come back later. Eventually. Maybe. Oh, and Leo's chains. At the time of posting, I really just want to get this up and posted, so they're not shaded, but again, I might do it later.
I wanted to have this set when they're both in their separate cells, right after Viper was, uh...in the cell with Leo. So, Donnie is all stitched up and healing, while Leo is...not doing great (not certain about the timeline, because I'm paranoid about everything, so it's probably fine). But, I wanted to convey what happened to Donnie, so I drew that weird glowing spine thing to indicate some kind of mystic healing something. I don't even know.
It didn't turn out as well as I wanted it too, but I'm probably biased. Because there was so much gore on Leo's side, Donnie's looked boring. I couldn't figure out how to do the lighting. The values could be better. It could do with more time spent on the shadows. Etc, etc. I'm a perfectionist.
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Uh, in order of posting, behold!
1. Big version.
2. Big version without lighting (except on the bricks) or Japanese characters.
3. Close up of magic spine representation thing because I'm proud of it.
4. Close up of gore-covered-Leo because I'm also proud of that. I have never drawn such...messy gore before.
Fun fact, the group of layers all of that was on is called "Bad Stuff".
5. Close up of Donnie's shell stitches without the spine thing, because I worked hard on those. It was also pretty tricky, because I couldn't find any references for large stitched wounds. Only open ones. If anyone knows any good places for references like that, t'would be greatly appreciated.
Also, they don't usually stitch puncture wounds, because it could trap infection, but I feel like with something so large and deep as dragon teeth it would be necessary? So I tried to include those.
But also, would they just stitch the skin in such deep wounds? Is there still a gaping hole under the skin? Do they also stitch muscles with the dissolvable sutures or something? I'm like, going to go to med-school just so I can draw more accurate wounds and stitches and stuff.
6. Close up of Leo without the gore because he's pretty and I'm really proud of the plastron. And the right forearm armour piece. I couldn't get the other ones to look as nice, much to my dismay.
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The Japanese characters write out to Omae wa hitoribocchi da, which translates to You are alone. I think. Google Translate says it's You are all alone, but translation services that I trust slightly more, like Reverso.net and ChatGPT (the most reliable of sources, I know) just say You are alone.
Omae is the equivalent of anata, for those familiar with Anata wa hitori janai. They both mean you, but omae is more...condescending, from what I can tell. Informal and rough, often used to express disdain or superiority.
Wa indicates that anata or omae are the subject of the sentence.
Hitori is present in both, meaning alone, though from what I can see, hitoribocchi is more...desolate and painful. It's a more emotional term for being alone.
Janai kind of means is not, or are not, while da is just like...closing the sentence. A firm, declarative ending particle.
I tried to paste the actual Japanese characters from different translation services (I am not fighting with using a keyboard from another language), but Tumblr wouldn't let me. Boo. So, you can all suffer with my English-Japanese. Also, don't trust anything I say. I'm learning Japanese on Duolingo, but I've only just started and it gets way more complicated. So, pretty much anything I just said could be wrong. I just did a lot of research.
If anyone does speak Japanese, and knows a better way to convey this, please tell me. I crave knowledge and accuracy.
I should get like, a personal human translator. No AI or program can truly understand a language like its people. Especially comparing Japanese and English. From what I've learned, there are a lot of words that could be translated many ways, depending on exact feel. It's complicated, and I'm scared to get farther into Duolingo's course.
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I also just discovered yesterday that today is also the anniversary of the Rise Movie, so yay! Happy Anniversary to the movie that literally changed my life. And Curly, you're awesome. It's authors like you keeping this fandom alive, so thank you!
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genderqueerdykes · 6 days
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Hello, I’ve got a long winded request for advise that I’d like to ask from you (if you’ll give me a year in advance to ramble lol).
Would just like to state first off that this was something I spent half an hour on cycling between the thoughts of “this is horribly offensive” and “who better to ask” due to some of your posts and because I commonly enjoy and trust your opinions to be at least honest. I know you aren’t obligated to answer this ask but I’d really appreciate it even if it’s simply just a “AITA?” “YTH” situation.
I’ve had an issue recently where I am being ridiculed for making choices for my body and its appearance. The choice is losing weight. I’ve lived my entire life so far as a fat person, for the last 13 or so years I was well above the “class 3 obesity” threshold, right now I’m sitting in the low end of the first class. I don’t really like it, but when I was in the overweight category (I haven’t been an average weight since I was 5, a little more on that later) I got told that by losing weight I was being inherently fatphobic and making other fat people uncomfortable.
I know dieting and the likes can be an uncomfortable topic in general but I never brought it up except for rare mentions of my weight loss, mostly because I was proud of my progress. I’m not wanting to be “thin, “skinny,” whatever etc etc, I would just like to be in the middle of the average category with some visible muscle mass. I was shamed so much that I put myself back up into the obese category, and I’m all for body positivity but it’s not working for me when I know what I want my body to look like. I’m neutral on my body and its functions in general but I’m uncomfortable with the gain I didn’t want and the knowledge that I was on my way to a point of comfort.
As I said before, I haven’t been an average weight since I was 5. That’s because I developed severe binge eating disorder due to trauma. My weight gain was uncontrollable and made me uncomfortable for over a decade. Now that I have some control and a sense of body neutrality, I would like to lose what I gained from my disorder. Not all of it ofc, I’m an adult now and I want a healthy adult body, but I want to be able to make the choices and changes to put my body back into the average weight that I feel was “stolen” from me.
I suppose those thoughts could be considered fatphobic from a certain viewpoint but to me my binge eating disorder and obesity are/were things that I feel the need to heal from. I don’t have these thoughts about anyone else. I don’t want anyone to lose weight if they don’t want to. I love fat bodies. I just want to have the choice to lose weight myself without being considered a bad person.
Do these thoughts and feelings make me a bad/fatphobic person? Does losing weight make me a bad/fatphobic person? I genuinely just want what I believe is best for my body.
Thank you for your time. Stay well.
i have a lot of feelings on this sort of topic, so i appreciate you sending an ask like this, because it's one of the most nuanced, complicated discussions i've tried to have with people recently and a lot of people do not understand the distinction. i'm going to try to break this down to have it make sense to as many people as possible
first of all, people have the right to choose what weight they want their body to be at, so long as it's not causing genuine harm, especially permanent harm. losing weight is not inherently evil, the thing is, a lot of people either need to lose weight or choose to do so for good reasons. i was very heavy at one point, 360 lbs, and i was starting to get new pain i hadn't experienced before. it was hard to stand for any period of time. i couldn't walk much.
after i started walking around the neighborhood and losing that extra weight, that pain went away. i feel a lot better having less of that weight on me. i gained weight in a very unhealthy manner during this time, mostly by not eating well for my dietary needs, sleeping excessively, no exercise, and so on. the thing is that we have to take care of our total health and not everyone who is fat is unhealthy, but some people can and do put on weight that impairs their functioning or health and it's not good to ignore that this is a thing that can and does happen
you're allowed to decide what you feel your body should look like especially if you are not taking this to extremes. i like to keep my weight below a certain range, myself. i keep a close eye on it. fortunately it's easy to stay around a certain healthy range for my body because i cook a lot of meals at home and i mostly eat vegetarian food and fish due to allergies and digestive issues. i'm still about 311 lbs but it's in a much healthier configuration for my body
weight is a complex conversation. both thin and fat bodies are stigmatized. we need to drop our obsession with body image and let people be the arbiters of their own weight, at least, letting people express what they want and helping them reduce harm and find ways to achieve that goal realistically in a healthy manner. shaming people doesn't work. we've proven this decade after decade. shaming skinny people doesn't work. shaming fat people doesn't work. shaming anyone doesn't work
dieting is a very specific thing. everyone's diet is 100% unique to their body. your digestive system works different than the person next to you's. you may not metabolize nutrients as well as someone else. you may process fats and proteins differently. you may need a lot of electrolytes. you may not be able to digest fiber. you may struggle with fructose, glucose and other sugars. you may not be able to eat any meats at all. you may need lots of fruits. it will depend greatly on who you are
it's best to work with your body than against it. you are allowed to decide what weight range you want to be within. best thing you can do is attempt an elimination diet to see if there are foods that just don't do your body any favors, these can and should be done very slowly with one food at a time. but i'm not a health professional, so that's just a suggestion.
either way good luck, i don't like when people try to boil this down to "this is good" or "This is bad". there are good and bad things to all of this. it's worth discussing both sides of that. i hope this helped you in any way
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vegasicilia · 10 months
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My bad, I forgot I had autism.
So, big f*cking week at work. Very f**king big week. I crushed it. I rose to the opportunity and finished better than anyone thought a project of mine at work. Boss huged me. Parents said they were proud. My LinkedIn was soaring. I was happy. I'm still happy.
I spent a whole week being more social, more hyperactive, more organized and more talkative than ever. I met people after people and made small talk. I f*cking orchestrated, directed and executed an event I had been planning for since May. Working 13 hours a day for 3 days. I FREAKING KILLED IT. All while going to the gym, keeping my diet in check and taking care of myself (bedroom clean, teeth brushed, nails clean, beard shaven).
Side note, for you my readers (is anyone reading this?). There's a thing I haven't told you officially, my dear Tumblr blog, and that is that I have a big fat autistic brain with ADHD sprinkles on top. And since I didn't know about any of this since I was 20, years have passed and my subconscious stil thinks I don't have autism and ADHD and that I can just function as a normal human being.
Back to the main story, an hour after the event was done and everyone was going home, it hit me. Like a train. My regular delusion that I can be a normal person for extended periods of time came to an end faster than I can say "autism". Like a freaking tsunami had reached my shore, I broke down at a friends house and slept for 12h straight. My brain had had enough. Dopamine wasn't flowing. Adrenaline rush was gone. My frontal cortex announced early retirement as I said goodbye to the few people who stayed until the very end.
I was down on my friends's sofa for about half a day. I thought that would be it, that I would get home and go to work the next day and everything would be fine. But it was not. I've spent the last few days as a zombie, walking around the office as if anything around me had anything to do with me. I came home at the end of my 9 to 5 to have dinner at 7 and be in bed by 8-9 every day. I stopped going to the gym, I couldn't care less about my diet and my skincare has stopped. And I can't do anything about it. I just don't care. I can't make myself care.
I have to stand aside as my brain repeats the cycle again: work hard & play hard until you can't take it anymore. And it's not something I can't really control. My roomates don't understand why I'm home so much and I'm not out and about all day like always. My friends reach out to hang but I just wanna wear my new pajamas and watch the new Doctor Who special (it was awesome btw, love you David Tennant)
I need recharging, but it feels like the world is made only for Duracell AA batteries I'm a potato in salt water trying to power a Tesla in the highway.
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maknaeswrld · 1 year
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there | h.js
I'm thinking about you, in this place without you, in this placе where we usеd to be together, I still think of you all the time
wc: 7.4k
genre: childhood best friends to strangers to ???; gn!reader; idiots in love; fluff; angst.
cw: slight mentions of parenthood (they’re not parents); mentions of marriage; broken promises?; secrets; paced throughout the entirety of their career up to date (2023); panic attack; roomies are based of my irls; Eve actually has amazing luck and gets her bias in legit every single album; was not initially inspired by There, that song just really freaking fits this story
roadmap: starts in present; jumps back to pre-debut; tracks readers perspective throughout the years; ends back in present (The SOUND + 5 Star era)
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Friendships don’t always end because of things you can’t come back from, they don’t always end in a spectacular burst of harsh words and emotions. A majority of the time, they end due to distance, fizzling slowly until it dies out all together, people with shared memories and experiences becoming virtual strangers.
But should that mean the promises you made to one another should die along with it?
You had never thought so, which is what brought you to this crowded stadium, standing amongst people who are a little too much like you, watching the man that you once knew better than you knew yourself performing, shining brighter than the sun. 
Han Jisung was where he was meant to be, doing what he loved with friends that get to share the experience. Friends that are important to him and you believe always will be. Unlike you.
Sure, the version of you he last knew all those years ago is likely still a fond memory to him, you’re sure he thinks about you at least every once in a while, wonders what you’re doing now—at least you hope he does. 
Truth is, being an idol doesn’t leave space for that kind of stuff. It’s isolating work; family, friendships outside of your members and other idols, a private life, it’s hard to maintain, which is why you never took it personally when the daily calls turned to weekly texts, monthly updates, and eventually nothing at all.
There were times you were tempted to message him, tell him you’re proud of him, that you miss him. But frankly, you don’t even know if he still has your number, or if the one you have is still his.
The albums littering your bookshelf that you had bought and spent hours listening to together had been joined by untouched copies of basically any Stray Kids album you could get your hands on. His photocards were now littered amongst the polaroids and cut up school yearbook pictures the two of you decorated your old bedroom walls with, all of them somehow surviving your move to America.
Sometimes you wonder what he’d think if he’d see your room now. The Jisung you knew would’ve joked with you, asking if you were secretly in love with him or if you just finally accepted he was the prettier best friend. But the Jisung in the photocards was a stranger to you. You felt more like a fan, a fellow Stay harboring a parasocial relationship with eight boys that you’ll likely never speak to, than you did an old friend.
But you were content with it all. Your best friend will always be your best friend, even if you never have another movie night with asinine amounts of junk food. Even if you never again get to see his unruly curls in the midday lighting as you eat breakfast together at lunch time. Even if your children only ever know him by your stories and his stage persona.
Promises were sacred to you, so even when you are painfully aware you’re no longer his best friend, you keep the promise you made all those years ago to your best friend. You support him with no question or hesitation. So when you heard Stray Kids were performing in your city, you didn’t hesitate to buy the overpriced ticket.
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“How crazy would it be if Chan-hyung’s idea actually works? Think about it, your best friend could be an idol someday!”
You laughed at his quiet excitement. During his time at JYP Entertainment as a trainee, you’d grown fond of his two friends, Chan and Changbin, having quickly become 3Racha’s first fan and biggest supporter.
“I can’t wait to tell interviewers embarrassing stories from your childhood.”
“Go right ahead, you were by my side for all of them so they’re your embarrassing stories too!”
The both of you laughed, knowing he was right, and while the banter continued on like that, discussing the what if’s of Chan’s success, you couldn’t help but start to wonder where you’d truly fit into the narrative.
Bang Chan had gotten tired of sitting on the sidelines, patiently waiting his turn, quietly holding his breath every time groups were formed, hoping his name would be amongst them. You knew he’d been there longer than anyone, he likely knew more people in the industry personally than you could hope to even as a fan, and he knew how to have a successful group, he’d seen enough of them come out of his time as a trainee. So you hadn’t been shocked when Jisung had told you about his idea and he systematically started hand picking eight other trainees and approaching them with it, starting with Jisung and Changbin.
You hadn’t officially met the others Chan had chosen, but you had seen them practicing when you brought Jisung his lunch that he had forgotten at your place. 
For a rag tag group thrown together by a trainee, they were pretty good already and you could see them being very successful one day.
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“You’re gonna come to all our shows, right?”
Jisung was starting to get nervous about the plan. It’s been going well thus far, they had been chosen to debut but were now being put through the ringer to ensure they were to the companies standards. 
The boys had barely taken any breaks since being tasked with composing and choreographing a song entirely by themselves. You’d heard Jisung practicing non-stop, even while you were supposed to be having movie night. You knew he was more nervous than he’d own up to, but you also knew when he set his mind to something, he’d see it through to the end.
“All of them sounds unrealistic, Ji.” He pouted at your response, obviously disappointed. You just chuckled and shook your head. “How about this, I pinky promise swear that no matter what, I will attend every single show put on, in my area. Okay? Even if we get into some devastating argument and never talk again, even if we somehow lose communication and haven’t spoken in years, even if we get married and I four rugrats to deal with, I’ll be at every single one near me. Deal?” You held your pinky out for him to link his with.
“Three things. One, are you in love with me or something? You want my kids, Y/n/n~?” You both laughed as he teased you, tickling your sides, before he got serious. “Secondly, I’ll never let either of those other things happen. Ever. You’re my best friend. Nothing, not even becoming an idol, is going to change that. You are so stuck with me for the rest of your miserable life.”
“Does that mean marriage isn’t off the table for you?” You interrupted him, attempting to tease him back.
“If it means never losing you, I’ll put a ring on it right here, right now.”
Your breath caught in your throat at the complete sincerity in his eyes.
“You’re never gonna lose me either way, Ji.” You said softly, watching as his face softened before he finally linked his pinky with yours.  
“Then every show near you sounds good enough for me.” He kissed the back of your hand, pinkies still linked together, and you kissed his, sealing the promise.
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The crowd held its breath as they awaited the final judgment on the fate of Stray Kids. 
You didn’t know Minho or Felix very well at all, having only spent a handful of short lived conversations in each others company, but the way Jisung had cried until he passed out and slept through the night on your couch after Minho had been eliminated from the group, and then shortly after did it again for Felix, you didn’t have to know them personally to know you needed all nine boys to be accepted. Stray Kids were nine, and you didn’t think you could accept it any other way.
So to say the relief and joy you felt at the announcement that they would debut as nine felt all consuming would probably be an understatement. All you wanted to do was drag the boys into a big hug and congratulate them.
As they finally left the stage, you couldn’t hold yourself back from running to meet a relieved and ecstatic Jisung. 
“We did it!” He yelled, catching you in his arms and swinging you around. He set you down, his hands moving to cup both sides of your face, squishing your cheeks gently and shaking you. “We actually did it, Y/n/n! We’re debuting!” 
“I know Ji, I saw.” You laughed, returning his gesture. You quickly made your rounds, congratulating the rest of the boys and hugging Minho and Felix tightly, before returning to Jisungs side and joining them for their celebrations.
````
The boys got pretty busy pretty fast after that and the time spent with your best friend decreased rapidly, but he always texted you every chance he got and would call or skype you as he was settling down for the night. Oftentimes, his phone would get high-jacked and passed around through his members while his protests could be heard in the background. You weren’t as close with the rest of them as you were with Jisung, but they had quickly become your boys and you couldn’t be prouder of all of them and prouder to call them your friends. 
Which just made it hurt all the worse when the nightly chaos calls slowly turned into weekly at best calls. 
You understood, you wouldn’t feel like a very good friend if you didn’t, but you still missed all of them like crazy. You wished you could be by their side instead of watching from the sidelines. 
A part of you knew you could be, that you didn’t have to put yourself through this pain if you just owned up and confessed. But telling your best friend since diapers that you’re in love with him, even if you’re pretty damn sure it’s mutual, is too terrifying a concept to consider. 
You knew being an idols partner would be stressful, but it would also give you a lot more time to spend with the boys. Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, the risk of you being wrong and him not feeling the same weighing too heavily. The best case scenario would be you were right, you’d never have to leave your best friend's side, you’d be at every show like he’d wanted, you’d be there for everything; but worst scenario, you lose your best friend and the boy you love in one swoop, as well as the rest of your closest friends. 
You’d rather deal with the spotty texts and irregular calls than creating an unfixable rift.
````
Despite the damn near radio silence you’d endured while they traveled their first year as an actual group, you still made sure to keep the promise you’d made and bought a ticket to a small local show they’d be doing. 
You texted Jisung a picture of the ticket, not really expecting a response and being pleasantly surprised when he texted back a very Jisung response. 
SUNGIE: I knew you were secretly in love with me
Followed by a string of unrelated emojis. Your phone buzzed again with another text.
SUNGIE: the boys want to know if you’d be down to get food and catch up after the show, I already told them yes, you don’t have a choice, I miss my best friend
You couldn’t help the giddy feeling that arose in your chest at his messages, he was right for accepting on your behalf, you would never turn down the opportunity to spend time with your friends, but especially not Jisung.
You typed up a quick reply, agreeing and telling him you’d see them all at the concert.
The rest of the week couldn’t go by fast enough. Texts with Jisung had become a little more regular again, both of you excited for some time together, and you’d even gotten a call in. You were counting down the minutes to the concert, antsy to see your friends again.
Your roommate helped you pick out an outfit for the concert because “there’s no way you’ll be representing in jeans and a t-shirt, we’re going to look sexy as fuck.” and you couldn’t find it in you to argue. 
When the night finally arrived and you were situated next to your roommate not far from the stage, you couldn’t shake the anxiousness at seeing them again. They were your friends, and they always would be, but you wondered how much they’d changed in the year you’d been separated; you wondered if they’d still act like your friends.
Your fears were relieved fairly quickly as they finally took the stage. It only took about three songs for Felix to spot you, lighting up the moment he did and running around to inform the others. Throughout the show they each took moments to find you to wave subtly. It eased your mind knowing they seemed as happy to see you as you were them.
After the show, you and your roommate waited until most of the crowd died off before you said your goodbyes, your roommate heading for the exit as you headed towards the side of the stage, grinning and walking faster when you noticed Jisung peeking around the corner and waving when he spotted you.
You threw your arms around him the second you got to him, happy to finally have your best friend back.
It didn’t take long for the rest of the boys to crash your reunion, quickly dragging you into a group hug. 
“Hey back off! This is my bestie, all of you can go find your own.” Jisung pouted, but you could see how his eyes softened as his eight new best friends embraced you and accepted you as a part of their little family.
````
“Woojin, who has been with Stray Kids as a member until this time, has left the group due to personal circumstances and terminated his exclusive contract.”
You couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in your eyes as you read the headline. You had just had lunch with all of the boys a few weeks prior and everything seemed fine, they were excited for their blossoming career together. Not one of them, not even Jisung, had let on to anything. 
You felt you had at least a bit of a reason to feel hurt, they were your closest friends and you had to learn one was splitting from the group through a gossip site. Before you could think, you were outside the boys dorm, hand raised to knock, when voices stopped you when you heard your name, making a mental note to tell the boys to shut their windows.
“I just don’t understand why we didn’t tell Y/n.” Jisung sounded defeated.
“It’s not that we didn’t want to, Hannie, it’s just that the least outsiders that know the truth, the better.” “Y/n isn’t an outsider! They’re my best friend, they wouldn’t say anything to anyone.”
“We just, we can’t guarantee that. I love them, they’re a wonderful friend, but they’re not a part of this world Han. They wouldn’t understand and we can’t risk it. The next few months are going to be hard enough on Stay, nine or none is dead and we’re tasked with moving along like it’s nothing, the last thing we need right now is anything getting misconstrued.”
Tears welled up in your eyes as you listened in. You could understand where Chan was coming from, but it still hurt hearing he couldn’t bring himself to trust you.
You wiped your eyes and finally knocked, not wanting to just vanish. They were still your friends.
“Hey, you guys seriously need to remember to shut your windows, I could hear Changbin from the driveway.” You laughed as you let yourself in, hugging Chan as you passed him before joining Jisung on the couch. It wasn’t long before other members started filing into the living room, presumably to see you, but you suspected it was more due to the safety and assurance that Chan and Jisung were done with their conversation as long as you were present.
“I heard the news by the way, I’m sorry this is happening. But hey! Maybe some good news can lighten the room.” You took a deep breath, nervous knowing your news would absolutely not help anything. “I got a huge promotion at work.” You grinned, fiddling with your hands, which Jisung and Chan both picked up on immediately.
You hadn’t mentioned being up for promotion, mostly because you weren’t even positive you’d get it, let alone accept it, but with a world tour on the horizon for the boys, and now the addition of being reminded you weren’t anything more than a normal level friend, you figured why not, what would be keeping you in Seoul anyway?
Congratulations and excitement filled the room, you smiled, thanking everyone for being happy for you, but your smile faded when Jisung’s hands covered yours, stopping your nervous fidgeting. He refused to meet your eyes.
“What’s the bad news?” He asked softly, eyes glued to where his hands were holding yours.
The excitement in the room felt as if it was sucked out by a vacuum, you tried to smile, already shaking your head to say there wasn’t any, but it died on your throat when Jisung’s eyes finally met yours, his brown eyes shining as he looked at you. “Don’t lie to me, please.” He whispered.
You slouched in defeat. “It was meant to be exciting news to cheer everyone up, Sungie. I mean, it’s not necessarily bad news, per se, it could be a really great thing even, you know?”
Jisung cut off your rambling by squeezing your hand. Giving you a look that said ‘get on with it.’
“The promotion is to an American branch.”
````
Jisung had somehow convinced his management to give him enough time off to help you move, no matter how much you insisted he didn’t need to. 
You had been busy cleaning out your closet, packing what to keep and piling up things you didn’t, figuring you could donate them, with your music blasting, none the wiser to the eight boys standing in your doorway. 
“Do they always keep the music this loud?”
The shouted question startled you. You whipped around in shock before rushing to lower the volume to greet your friends.
“Yes. Yes they do.” Jisung grinned teasingly as he pulled you into a hug. “I brought some extra hands, hope you don’t mind.” He said before kissing the top of your head and releasing you, whistling as he looked at the walls, still covered in pictures of the both of you, and some with the rest of the guys.
Seungmin was pointing out ridiculous pictures of Jisung to Jeongin and Minho laughed as he noticed a baby picture of the younger member. 
“Hyung, maybe we should ask Y/n for young pictures of Han instead of him or his family.”
Jisung groaned at that and you couldn’t help but laugh.
“I mean, there’s a lot of pictures here, so if you see any you’d like to keep, go for it. Most of them will likely just stay in a memory box while I’m overseas anyways.”
The look of utter betrayal Jisung shot you just made you laugh harder as you patted his shoulder and put all the boys to work.
````
“Y/N! STRAY KIDS RELEASED A NEW ALBUM!”
It had been a year since you moved to America, and a year with your new roomies, whom you loved dearly. Throughout that year, the Kids had been garnering more and more popularity. 
You learned Eve and Nat, twins that were complete opposites in almost every way, had watched the entire Elimination Show as it was airing and Nat actually cried in relief when it was announced they’d debut as nine; Noel, a blunt and chaotic content creator, was a bit picky and admittedly didn’t like all of their music, but she loved them as people and would flood the house group chat with reels and tiktoks, her bias is Chan; and it took a little while for Lia, a tiny italian, to get in to them, but Eve was adamant that all roomies had to be Stays and when the twins had K-pop blasting through the house pretty much non-stop, it’s hard not to get pulled in.
You still kept in contact with the boys to some extent, it wasn’t as drop out of touch as the first year was, but you could tell the distance was growing again. When the day came that you no longer contacted one another, you wouldn’t be surprised. You brought yourself to look at it as you were thankful for the extra time you were given, you’d assume most idols lose contact with people of their past life fairly quickly.
You had never told your roommates about your connection to the band, not because you didn’t trust them and adore them but because it felt too risky. They could try to use you to get to the boys, or just flat out tell you to take your delulu meds. It hurt, thinking your closest friends might abandon you because of that kind of knowledge, it helped you understand Chan a little more with the Woojin situation. 
Your door burst open, any semblance of privacy pretty well gone when it came to Eve’s excitement.
“Did you hear me?? A new album! They take such good care of us!” She fake cried dramatically as she sprawled out on your bed. 
Eve was followed shortly by Lia, holding a cup of coffee with six tally marks drawn on it, indicating it was her sixth cup of the day; and Noel carrying a camera, likely having filmed the entire invasion.
“Yes I heard, I think the whole neighborhood did.” You laughed, playing with the girls hair. “Are you going to play this new album or just continue to shout about it?”
Eve groaned. “We have to wait until stupid Nat gets home, who even made the stupid rule about new album drops having to be group listening parties anyways?” She grumbled as you and your other roommates tried to hold back your laughter.
“You did, babe.” Lia giggled, sipping her coffee and joining the two of you on your bed.
Life with them often meant no privacy, the amount of times all five of you have ended up sleeping in one bed for the night was crazy, seeing as you all have your own rooms. There were a lot of blurred lines within your house, but you loved it and wouldn’t change it for almost anything.
“So who is this in all your pictures anyways? I don’t think I’ve ever asked before.” Noel mumbled as she walked around your room, camera in hand.
“I’ll tell you if you don’t use that footage you’re getting.” You joked.
“Deal!” Lia agreed on her behalf, setting her mug down and wrestling the camera from Noel to shut off the recording.
“Tell us. We’ve all been dying to know. You never talk about your past.”
You hesitated for only a moment before relaxing into your pillows.
“His name is Jisung, in all the photos. He’s my best friend, we grew up together but we don’t talk all that much anymore. His career distanced him, and mine obviously didn’t help that. It’s simple as that. We talk maybe once every few months now.”
“Are you in love with your Jisung?” Eve asked, blue eyes staring up at you with a childlike twinkle.
“Yeah, I am.” 
The girls giggled and you hid your face in your pillow to avoid the teasing until Nat walked in, asking what was going on, and immediately getting updated. He joined in on the teasing, which thankfully only lasted until Eve remembered Stray Kids’ new album NOEASY.
````
“I swear, you being besties with a boy named Jisung gives you insane luck or something, how  are you always pulling Han? Honestly at this point I think you have just as many Han Jisung photo cards on your walls as you do pictures of your Jisung. You’re so lucky your bias is so easy for you to get. Five target exclusive albums and not ONE Felix photocard. Like, don’t get me wrong, I am perfectly content with my Changbin, Innie, and Seungmin cards, but how did not a single one of us pull a Lixie?!” Eve banged her head against the wall as she rambled.
Nat rolled his eyes at her and immediately got smacked by the girl tucked under his arm.
“Ow! What the hell Lia, I didn’t say anything.”
“Don’t be rolling your eyes at my baby girl.” Lia said threateningly.
“For the last time, you’re dating me, not my sister, please stop calling her your baby girl.”
“Oh please, brother. I could steal your girl anytime I want and we all know it.” Eve giggled, finally snapping out of her rambling state to tease her brother. Lia blew her a kiss, sending her a wink.
“We can steal girlfriends another time, right now we’re going to be late for dinner, and we all know how James can get about his dinners.” Noel rolled her eyes at the trio as she put her camera away, having filmed everyone opening their albums. She has so much content of Lia and Eve flirting with each other that a good amount of her viewers have started theorizing that Nat is Lia’s beard.
James is the twins' father. After the twins had moved out he had insisted they come home once a week for a family dinner, the invite was quickly extended to the rest of the household as James seemed to systematically adopt everyone. You had never complained because it was a day off from feeding the household and because James was actually an amazing cook. 
```
“We’re going. I don’t care if I have to throw you all into my car forcefully, we are going to this concert.” Lia stated as the roommates were gathered in the living room looking at the tour dates announcement. “I don’t care if I have to drive the whole nine hours by myself, I am not missing this concert.”
Stray Kids were playing only a few states away and everyone but you had missed them the last time they’d been so close due to having already had tickets to something that same weekend. The only reason you hadn’t missed it was because you’d been in the city of the concert for business and delayed your flight a day to see them. You’d felt bad for seeing them without your roommates and best friends of three years, but you would have felt more bad breaking a promise to your best friend of much, much longer.
“And you!” Lia turned her eyes on you, pinning you with a scolding motherly glare. “No running off and seeing them by yourself again! We’re all going to see our boys and that is final.”
You weren’t about to argue with her, and no one else seemed to want to either, so everyone set reminders for the day tickets would go on sale and started plotting outfits for the concert.
```
The energy in the crowd was indescribable, the excitement all around you made the hairs on your arms stand up. You could feel nerves bubbling up in your stomach, yes you’d seen the boys plenty of times since you all lost touch, but you’d always actively avoided any seat that could potentially be seen from stage, but the tickets went on sale whilst you were in a crucial meeting and Lia, being the groups sugar momma, bought only the best she could get her hands on, landed you about three rows from front and center.
An excited hush fell over the crowd as the lights dimmed, everyone pressing forward just a little to try and get that much closer to the people coming up on the stage, but you just wanted to turn tail and run.
Nat grabbed your hand, squeezing it as if he could sense your nerves. It wouldn’t surprise you, of all your roommates, Nathaniel had always been the one to pick up on peoples emotions the easiest and he had always had a keen sense of awareness to things he shouldn’t be aware of.
The lights burst with the opening chords of the first song of the evening and an odd mixture of pride and nausea hits you as screams drown everything out and the boys finally come into proper view.
“Deep breaths honey. You’re okay.” Nat’s comforting voice whispers into your ear, his hands squeezing a little tighter, grounding you. “Just have fun, don’t worry about him.” 
Whipping your head to look at him, you see a knowing glint in his eyes and as he nods his head back towards the stage, you realized he’d pieced it together.
How does he know? Do they all know?
He smiles once more, squeezing again, before looking away and releasing you entirely, joining the throngs of people screaming and enjoying the show. You look back towards the stage, noting how much each of your old friends have changed over the years. 
You let your nerves slowly slip away as you let yourself enjoy the promise you’ve always upheld and support your friend by screaming along and dancing with the rest of the crowd.
```
Your anxieties of earlier had been completely forgotten by the time the halfway point hit. As the lights come up to allow people a small intermission to use the bathroom or get some water, you turned to your roommates, joining in the excited rambles of all they’ve witnessed so far, adding in your notes as well, stealing glances at the timer in the middle of the stadium periodically. But as you make eye contact with a pair of curious brown eyes peeking from backstage, you feel your stomach drop. Even from the distance you’re at, you can see the recognition flash in those big eyes as they widen before disappearing entirely behind the curtain. 
Just as you’re about to turn and make a hasty exit, those curious eyes return with another pair. 
Felix and Jeongin seem to freeze you in place. You watch as Jeongin’s eyes light up with familiarity, his hand quickly coming up to shoot you a small wave, you wave back, not even thinking, and his smile widens, eyes squinting, as he seems to bounce in place to contain his happiness. It melts your heart to see, realizing you truly have missed all of them, not just Jisung.
They both wave again before disappearing just as fast as they’d appeared. “Okay, what was that all about?” Lia whispers, her small hand gently holding your elbow to get your attention.
“I’m not entirely sure.” And it’s not a complete lie.
“Your Jisung is Han Jisung, isn’t it.” It’s not a question, not really, and you have no energy to try and hide it anymore. “Are you friends with all of them?”
“Was. I’m not sure I can claim being a friend to any of them anymore.”
“Well I would say you can because Lee fucking Felix and g’damn I.N. just waved at you.” 
“You don’t know it was at me.”
“Yes I do, and you do too. Don’t bullshit right now.
“It doesn’t even matter because they’ll finish this show, do the one tomorrow, and they’ll be gone and nothing will be different.”
Lia gave you a look that screamed she thought you were insane but before you could tell her that it’s just how it is, the lights dimmed again. The stadium hushed quickly, all noticing the timer wasn’t quite finished yet, then it stopped all together and a spotlight came on over a nervous looking Han Jisung, front and center, the other kids not too far behind him. 
He wasn’t facing you, but his eyes were scanning and he was turning slowly, while trying to look normal.
“This wasn’t exactly scheduled, and I’m sorry about that, but I just talked it over with the others and with the band and we’re going to perform There for all of you tonight. This song is, well it’s really important to me.”
With that, the opening chords start playing and Han's beautiful voice fills the hushed room.
Oh, I think of you, I only fall for you
Feels like a never-ending waterfall
Tears spring to your eyes. Ever since they’d released this song, you’d felt as if it was written for you. Your logical mind screamed it likely wasn’t, that it wouldn’t make sense for it to be. You’d had no contact with them for over three years, so why now? But even with those thoughts, you couldn’t help but remember nights spent with your best friend in the whole world, evenings passed by whilst stargazing despite the horrendous amount of light pollution and lack of visibility. Everything about the song when it was released made you think of the time before all of this, when you’d always had Han Jisung by your side. 
You make eye contact with Bang Chan as he follows Han’s vocals to fill his own part, he smiles, his dimples on full blast, and you know it’s his way of acknowledging you.
As the song passes, slowly the rest of the members seem to locate you, waving subtly, putting hearts up, ways to say hi without alerting the thousands of fans around you. Everyone sees you, except for Jisung, who either can’t locate you or is actively avoiding your eyes. Your heart drops at the thought. 
Did you really have it wrong? You had assumed it was a long shot that There was written for you, but hearing them perform it live and seeing them all track you down brought hope that maybe it wasn’t just wishful thinking, all except the one you want to look at you the most.
Your heart sank further and further as the song came to a close, Han never having looked your way.
I know that it'll never stop
Oh, I'm still right there.
You watch Chan grab Jisung and pull him off stage as the countdown starts back up, and you’re pretty sure everyone can see the slump in his shoulders as his leader drags him away.
“Get out of your head honey. Just try to enjoy the show.” Nat rubs your back in comforting circles until Eve whips around, her grin too bright to ignore.
“This is the best night ever!” And of course your sunshine friend is oblivious to your inner turmoil. All you can do is smile back and agree.
You take deep breaths, you let your friends and the adoring fans around you ground you, and you decide to just enjoy this band that you’ve been a fan of for years instead of stressing about the friendship you’d already assumed was dead.
```
You could feel yourself letting loose, dancing to the music, singing at the top of your lungs, just enjoying being in the crowd. It was easy to be happy in a room with all your favorite people. 
Throughout the night all the boys would check up on you, your area of the crowd easily became a favorite to interact with, but Han still hadn’t looked at you. Trying not to let it affect you, you made a heart with Lee Know and then broke it, watching in delight as his brows raise in shock and he starts laughing. His laughter draws the others' attention and they all seem to light up at the sight of happy Lee Know. 
Han make’s his way over to Minho, throwing an arm over his shoulder and preparing to do his rap when Minho whispers something to him and nods in your direction. Everything seems to fade away as Jisungs eyes finally meet yours, you can vaguely hear the instrumental for his part of the song but he’s not rapping, he just seems frozen as he stares at you.
Raising your hand, you give him a small wave, his hand following the motion and copying which makes you smile. Minho must pinch him because his body jolts and he shoots his friend an incredulous look, and then as if remembering where he is and what he’s supposed to be doing, he blushes and follows Lee Know to the rest of the members to get into choreo formation for the next song, but not without shooting you one more smile.
Sound comes rushing back in, and suddenly the air feels lighter, you hear Lia squealing as she bounces up and down next to you, holding your arm, and you can feel Nat’s arm around you. 
Han’s eyes can’t seem to stay off of you after that, you catch him looking at you more often than not. You feel giddy, laughter bubbling in you as he stumbles some choreography while trying to keep his eyes on you. 
The rest of the concert flies by way too fast, you don’t want the night to end, you don’t want to go back to your hotel and let this moment go past you. You don’t want Han Jisung to stop looking at you again. 
All the longing for your best friend, all the time you spent pretending you were alright with the way things turned out because he was living his dream and he was happy, all those years loving someone unattainable, drowns you as the boys leave the stage for the last time that night. The weight of realization weighs on you as the lights come up and the stadium starts clearing out, and just when you were ready to grab your friends and elbow your way to out of the stadium, putting the whole night behind you and accepting the end of a friendship officially, a guard tracked you down, asking for you by your Korean name, and asking you to follow him.
Confusion, and a bit of hope, floods you as you look to your friends, who just shrug, just as confused by the request but following you and the guard, after Noel and Lia argue that security or not their friend isn’t going anywhere without the rest of them because that wouldn’t be safe. You’re all brought backstage and left in a room with several couches and a table full of snacks. 
“So, what the heck is going on?” Eve finally asks, breaking the confused silence.
“Y/n’s boyfriend got us V.I.P access, apparently.” Nat responds.
“BOYFRIEND?!”
You smack Nat’s arm, causing him to laugh. “No babe, I don’t have a boyfriend, I’m just as confused as you are.”
Before much else could be said, a loud squeal is heard just before you're lifted off the ground and spun around. 
“Y/n/n!!!” Felix shouts, setting you down and pulling you back in for a soul crushing hug. “I’ve missed you so much, we have so much catching up to do!” He looks around, likely looking for the rest of his members but noticing your friends. “Oh. Hello there!” He smiles. “I’m Lee Felix, nice to meet you all!”
“Let them breathe Lix,” Seungmin rolls his eyes, pulling you from Felix’s grasp just to drag you into a hug of his own. “But he’s right, there is a lot of catching up to do.” He mumbles before releasing you and passing you off to the next person.
You catch a glimpse of your roommates, all of whom look absolutely dumbfounded. Even Nat and Lia, who seemed to have known about Jisung, seemed absolutely bewildered by these events.
You’re passed from member to member and something about it is so nostalgic. Being hugged by these sweaty, energy high, happy boys made you feel completely at peace. 
By the time you’re finally completely released, you notice your boys introducing themselves to your slightly starstruck friends. You also notice everyone is in the room but Han and Chan.
Minho, the ever attentive one, saddles himself next to you, watching your friends mingle. 
“Sungie is, well, he’s having a panic attack, I won’t lie to you, and Chan’s helping him. Don’t worry, he’s not avoiding you.” You flash him a grateful smile.
You watch as Eve and Felix get on like an absolute house fire, both practically bouncing in excitement as they chat about goodness knows what. Nat, Lia, Changbin, and Hyunjin watch in amusement, providing commentary now and again, while you catch up with Minho, Innie, and Seungmin.
It’s not too long before Chan finally enters the room, taking no time at all to scoop you into his arms. “God we’ve missed you, Y/n/n.” He whispers, his face pressed into your neck.
“I’ve missed all of you too. So much. And I am so, so proud of you all.”
Chan pulls back, giving you a tired smile before turning you to the door. “He’s too nervous to come in here, so you might want to go to him.” His smile is genuine, and he squeezes your shoulder once before releasing you entirely and gently pushing you toward the door.
Outside of the room, Jisung is pacing and mumbling to himself, he doesn’t even seem to notice another presence with him.
“It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s just your best friend. Your best friend in the whole world that you’ve been out of touch with for years. You’ll be okay. It’s not like they wouldn’t want to see you.” Han freezes, eyes still locked on the ground. “Oh my god, what if they don’t want to see me.”
“Han Jisung, would you  stop rambling under your breath and hug me already?”
His head whips around, eyes wide, and for a minute all he does is stare at you in shock, and then he rushes towards you, pulling you into a hug so tight it’s as if he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go.
“I missed you so much.” He whispers, his voice watery.
You hug him back with just as much strength, clinging to him and willing your tears back.
“Careful, it almost sounds like you’re in love with me or something.” You try to joke, your voice just as unsteady as his.
That seems to trigger something in him because he pulls back and stares at you for a really long moment. Just taking in your features. “And what if I am?” He whispers. Your breath catches in your throat, his eyes are watery but genuine.
Before you can say anything, he starts fumbling for his pocket before pulling out a small black box. He takes a deep breath before sinking down onto one knee, your eyes widening in shock.
“Because I am, ya know? I always have been. You’ve always been my ending, Y/n/n. And I had promised you once that you’d be stuck with me for the rest of your miserable life, and that I’d put a ring on it if it meant never losing you. Well, then I did lose you, and now that you’re here, I don’t intend on ever letting you slip away again. So, marry me, and let me spend the rest of my life by your side, because I joke about your miserable life a lot, but I know for a fact how miserable life is without you and I don’t want it.”
You can feel the tears running down your face as you drop to your knees in front of him, nodding as you grab his face and pull him in for a kiss.
His lips are salty, likely from your shared tears, and they’re a little chapped, but they meet yours just as eagerly and you know it’s real, and that this is how it always should have been.
You both pull apart for air, he leans his forehead against yours as he grabs your hand to slide the ring into place and you hear whooping and hollering not to far, both of you looking up to see not only the kids, but your roommates all having likely witnessed the whole thing.
Jisung blushes and you grin, tears still flowing as you wrap your arm around your best friend in the whole wide world and show your ring off to Eve and Lia who rushed in to see it immediately.
“I love you.” Jisung whispers as he helps you stand.
“I love you too.” You whisper back, leaning further into him and never wanting to leave his side ever again.
“Sweetie, you have got some major explaining to do.” Eve cuts in, joining the hug and giving you a pointed but teasing glare.
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a/n : thank you so much for taking the time to read my story!! if you enjoyed it considering reblogging or leaving a comment with your thoughts, I love to read them🫶
main taglist: nothing yet :)
Han’s POV
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Jann Mardenborough x reader
Pt.1,Pt.2, Pt.3, Pt.4, Pt.5,Pt.6
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It's finally here," Jann shouted into the phone. There was an excited squeal from the other end. "How does it look, please tell and exaggerate." the female voice on the other phone sounded as excited as Jann himself felt.,, It's amazing Y/N, it fits right into my hands I don't regret the hours I worked." he replied with a dreamy voice. "You must let me play with that new steering wheel sometime ." "Well I don't know Y/N you ruined my score last time." Jann never let Y/N forget how the last time he let her play Gran Turismo she crashed and ruined his score several times in the game. "That was only once." said the woman irritatedly. Both of them laughed amused and warmed it Jann's heart.
All he could remember Y/N was in his life. They got to know each other thanks to the fact that their mothers had been friends for a long time and dreamed that their children would be best friends too. It didn't go smoothly at first because the first thing little Jann did was to pull Y/N on her braid and she slapped him in the face in return. It took a long time for them to reconcile, but to the joy of their mothers, they eventually became good friends. We can't even count how many nights you've spent playing video games, eating junk food, and laughing uncontrollably. But then came a difficult period for Jann. He dropped out of school to pursue his dream of racing but his father wasn't too keen. So when the competition for the best gran turismo player came out and the winner would have the chance to compete professionally, it was clear to you that Jann had to sign up. He gave in to your insistence and it finally paid off. You've never been happier together, you celebrated. But then came the sad part of saying goodbye. You gave each other a last hug and a promise to call each other. You said that you are proud that he goes headlong into it like this and that you are happy when he is following his dream. You stayed with him the longest. You looked into each other's eyes and started thinking about how you will miss him, how he won't always be there to support you. As if you were caught in the moment, you started to get closer to each other, but suddenly someone next to you shouted and that woke you up from the magical moment. You both just cleared your throat. Jann said goodbye and left. And all you had left were tears in your eyes.
So what do you think? I plan to do next part if you want.
I am also open to any requeste.
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luciferlightbringer · 6 months
Text
Talk to Me
Chapter 5
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I am so sorry this took so long, con really took it out of me but now there we are!
Lucifer x Fem Fallen Angel Reader Word Count: 3k CW: Angst, trauma, trust building, slow burn, enemies to lovers(ish?), curiosity, care
Chapter 4|Chapter 5|Chapter 6 In Progress
The next couple of days you spent decompressing and taking care of yourself before the next time you had a talk day. You realized you would need to be careful with yourself when it came to doing this, or else you were going to get too overwhelmed with all of the new ways you were exploring pain and suffering with people. You were also trying to think of a better thing to call these meetings. Emotional support sessions maybe? That sounded at least a little more structured.
Earlier in the week, Charlie had asked if you needed anything for your work, and you had thought a sign to show when you were taking people for your door would be nice. Charlie got excited and ran off, later that same day she came back with a sparkly sign with pretty designs on it, one side said “Talk to Me” and the other side was blank and had a button, and in pressing the button, that back side could switch between things like “Session in Progress”, “Off Duty”, “Please Knock”, and other things.
You smiled and hugged Charlie to that her, then you put the sign on your with “Off Duty” up.
Now that it was the day of your next set of Emotional Support Sessions, you flipped it back to “Talk to Me” and nodded proudly before going into the room. This time, you did not have to wait as long before Angel can up to your room and walked in. You went to change the sign to “In Session” before beginning with Angel. Angel sat and talked with you for about an hour, going into more details about his relationship with Val, and how he got there. Bringing up more how he lived in a time where he was not allowed to be himself and was forced to do things he hated, and how here he is at least able to be out in hell as a gay man and express himself how he wants.
As you were talking with Angel, Lucifer was up in his Apple tower part of the hotel trying to get up the courage to talk to you. It wasn’t you he was nervous about, it was talking about what had happened, he had that wall up for so long he didn’t even know where to start. And he was afraid of it opening the floodgates for him. He felt tears well in his eyes just thinking about some things, he fought back the tears, shaking his head.
No, I need to not run away from this, Lucifer thought. Then his thoughts drifted again to you specifically. Who were you? Why did he get this nagging sense of familiarity from you? He really needed to work through this fog so that maybe he could figure that out, or he could just ask you… Would that be weird to just ask? He would have to think about that.
An hour later he was prepped as much as he could be and headed down to your room, to see the door open with the sign shining with his daughter’s handwriting welcoming him in. He smiled at the sign gave a quick knock on the doorframe.
“Good morning” he said gently. You turned around at the sound of his voice and bowed.
“Your majesty” you said.
He waved a hand “Please, just Lucifer. Is… now an ok time?”
“Ya! Let me just go get Vaggie and…”
“I also have the ability to be the silencing spell. If that would make it easier,” Lucifer offered. You stiffened a little. The idea of Lucifer using any magic on you made you feel a bit nervous.
“I uhh… thank you. But uhh… I just wanna keep the wording consistent for everyone and… she has it down so I’ll just get her.” As you called for Vaggie, Lucifer couldn’t help but feel a little rejected, but he tried not to take it personally. He didn’t push the matter.
Vaggie came up and smiled to see Lucifer I’m ready to talk to you. She cast the spell and then gave him a quick “I’m proud of you” squeeze on his arm before leaving. You and Lucifer both looked at each other for a moment, then Lucifer looked away.
“I uhh… haha. I’m sorry, I’ve never done all of this before,” he said looking away from you.
“It’s ok, I figured this was not something that people had here. A safe place to talk about anything, I’m also just trying to figure it all out,” you smiled, studying him in all his nervousness, another side of him you never expected from the great fallen deceiver, the King of Hell.
“Did you do stuff like this ever on earth?” He asked.
You were surprised by the question, “why do you ask?”
Lucifer shrugged, “I don’t know, I know this time is supposed to be about me but I can’t help but be curious about others sometimes. You don’t have to answer that…”
You thought for a moment, “This type of thing was… an element of what I did in the past, I was more like an aid or a right hand man. I’d listen, give support, do what was asked.” It wasn’t the full truth but it wasn’t a lie either, you were trying your best not to lie to anyone.
Lucifer nodded and started to sit down, “Ya, I get that, I used to have someone like that when I was still a seraphim. Someone at my side. Although… I felt like they were just there to watch me and to try keeping me in line. I don’t remember anything about them… especially because I was sneaking off to Eden so much to see…” his jaw tightened before her name could escape, it was still to painful to even say her name.
“Lilith?” You added gently as you sat across from him. He nodded blankly. “Maybe we can start there? At the beginning?”
Lucifer took a deep breath, “I might not get through the story all in one sitting. It… it’ll probably be too much.”
“I don’t expect you to,” you replied gently.
Lucifer took another deep breath and started to fidget with his cane, before looking up at you.
“Ok uhh… well… I was once an angel, a seraphim. We were angels with… greater powers, not like the Elders or Archangels but more than the others. I… created things, I loved making others laugh and smile, I had so many ideas for Heaven, and Earth… but the Elders did not like any of them… There were certain… limitations that we had… but I was never told why, was never told what the issues were with my ideas, only that they were bad and should not be thought of.”
“What kind of ideas?” You asked.
Lucifer perked up a little, “Wait, you want to know what my ideas were for Heaven and Earth were that they did not like?”
You nodded. Lucifer thought, he hadn’t thought about that in a long time, and no one had asked him that besides Lilith.
“Well… sometimes it was little things like animals… ways that humans could interact with the life around them… I thought it would be easier if animals could talk… maybe start off with more than just two people… have there be more choice for them… a lot of it was just kind of around communication between levels. About feeling equal, we could do almost anything as angels, and I wanted that for humans too, I wanted us all to talk to each other, for humans to be an extension of our Heavenly family, be able to talk to God and the Elders. And most importantly… to be able to do whatever we wanted to make us happy…” Lucifer folded more into himself, “That’s where everything went wrong.”
“What happened?”
Lucifer sighed, “Well… not wrong exactly, but that’s when my fallen essentially started. “The great deception” I think they called it. They created the Earth without me, they wouldn’t let me touch it at all, which hurt but I understood, I just wanted to see it. I snuck down to Eden and I found all of the animals, I found ducks for the first time, and I found the first man and woman, Adam and… Lilith…” Lucifer sighed and shook his head and took another deep breath before continuing. “They… were interesting to watch, I watched from afar. I never intended to get involved, but I saw how much Adam ordered Lilith around and it made me so sad for her.”
“Wait, he ordered her around?”
“Ohhhh ya, I mean, he was like “In charge of Earth” as the first human, but so was Lilith, and he just bossed her around! I watched him argue with her over how they needed to put the leaves back on the trees when they fell, even though they are supposed to fall! They couldn’t agree on how to take care of the animals. I mean… I understand that it was a big responsibility and stress, but he never wanted to work with her! He always had to be the one calling the shots and… heh… that’s just not how Lilith works… she is creative, a dreamer, bold, smart… beautiful…” He drifted mentally into those first few memories of Lilith seeing him, how they would sit and talk for hours.
You sat patiently as he thought, surprised but also now not at the way he spoke about Lilith.
“Lilith had enough one day and ran from the garden. I was worried about her, so I followed, I found her crying. Again, I never meant to interact with her, but she saw me, and called for me… I had seen angels for thousands of years, but there was no one like her that I had ever met. She saw the corruption of the system that had been built around her, she had wants and dreams, she wanted to be able to do whatever it was she wanted, and I wanted that too. Also, she had the most incredible voice. Oh how I could hear her sing forever, she’d sing just notes, sometimes she would sing about her frustrations, her joys, her sorrows… and… eventually… about her love for me… I didn’t expect to fall in love with her… but I did… she did… it was beautiful… I still remember her song…”
He lifted up a hand and conjured and orb of golden light that played a melody. He listened to the melody for a moment, and then he quietly started to sing “My Lucifer, my Morningstar on high, there’s something that I’ve been dying to say, more than anything…. More than anything… need you to know I love you more than anything… more than anything…”
The further into the line he sang, the more his voice crackled with tears, but it was still so beautiful. At the end he let the song fade and tears were pouring down his cheeks, his head tipped down so that his hat covered his face. His crying got harder and harder, he clenched his hands into the fabric of his pants.
“Lucifer?” You asked softly.
“I didn’t want anyone to get hurt! I didn’t mean to go down and cause trouble!” His hands turned more into claws, his tail and horns emerged, his eyes turned red. He was terrifying, but not in the way you had expected to be terrified of him. This rage was not at you, it was at himself.
He looked up at you, “I just wanted to be free! I wanted everyone to be free! Also who puts the tree of knowledge right in the middle of the damn garden?! It was too easy, we didn’t want to hurt Adam, and especially not Eve! We just wanted them to know and to have free will like how we wanted it! We didn’t make her take it… But then in the end, it’s all my fault! Everything is my fault! Evil, Hell, sinners, my daughter and wife leaving me, my daughter having to fight Adam and heaven! None of this would have happened if I had never existed!”
At this point, your body moved without thinking, as you closed the space between you and Lucifer and you enveloped him in a hug, a tight grip that you knew he could tear through if he wanted.
Your hug made Lucifer stop in his tracks, he felt your warmth around him and he melted into it, wrapping his arms back around you. You felt his horns and tail start to retract as he relaxed a little into your embrace, you stood there holding him for what felt like hours, even though you know it wasn’t. Just hugging in pure silence.
“I see you, Lucifer… I hear your pain,” you said softly. “The system is unfair, there are problems, but the problems aren’t there because of you. You are just the reason why we see the problems now. It’s not your fault that the system has issues and they don’t want to do anything to change it because of how it serves them.”
Whoa, where in Hell did that come from? You and Lucifer were both shocked by your statement, Lucifer reacted by tightening his hug on you and burying his face into your shoulder as he started sobbing again. You watched the most hated being in all of creation try in your arms, and you felt something break inside of you. Was this really who heaven was afraid of? A man who could be brought to tears at the thought of his own actions of 10,000 years ago like they just happened yesterday?
You thought back to the words that had slipped out of your mouth, and realized that those beliefs didn’t just form now, you just finally saw your own pain reflected in someone else. Had you always silently suffered to some degree in Heaven and it only just now turned into a coherent thought? Was that just from the general structure of Heaven or was that due to something else?
Your thought was cut off by Lucifer moving away from your embrace, whipping away his tears. “I uhhh… oof.. I sorry you had to see, that.”
You smiled and put a hand in his arm, “It’s ok Lucifer, I’m happy to be here for you.”
In a moment, your vision flashes to the same scene, but you were in Heaven, before flashing back. It couldn’t have lasted more than a millisecond, but it took you by surprise, and you felt your hand half pull away from Lucifer’s arm, and a micro expression of panic flickering across your face. Luckily for you, Lucifer is too wrapped up in his own thoughts to notice.
Lucifer was thinking of the next part of the story, preparing himself for those words.
“The counsel… Sera… they bound me in chains… Lilith too… put us on trial… then…”
“The fall,” you said flatly.
He nodded, “Ya… it was… a pain behold comprehension… I…”
You held up a hand, stopping him, trying not to let your own pain show through. Your own fall was still a bit fresh in your mind. You took a deep breath, “I don’t want you to push yourself to get the rest of the story right now. We have all the time it the world, to get through the whole story, ok?”
He thought, and he nodded, his shoulders slumped. “Sorry… I’m just not used to getting this whole story out, I haven’t even told Charlie or Lilith the story like this… I don’t want them to know how much pain I am in, even though I am sure they already know… I guess I just felt like I won’t have another chance to tell the story. To get it out.”
You nodded, “You will, I’m not going anywhere.”
He smiled, “Thank you, I’m glad I can take full advantage of your support this time….”
He trailed off, confused by the last few words he added to you. “Because… ya know… you were busy the other day, when we first met!” He flashed you a big smile to try covering up the awkwardness of his comment.
“Oh! Right, of course,” you smiled at him. You both stared at each other for a moment, both trying to sift through the strange feeling of familiarity with the other.
You shake yourself out of it and clap your hands once, “Well! That seems like a good place to end for the day, is there anything you need from me to feel ok wrapping up for now?”
Lucifer thought for a moment, and stood up and opened his arms to you, “Can I ask for another hug? I can try to not cry on you this time.”
You smile and stand from your seat, opening your own arms for him. He moves to enter your embrace. You hug him, his head resting on your chest. You stood there in each other’s embrace for a few minutes, a hug long that should have been uncomfortable for how little time you had known each other, but it wasn’t, it was honestly the most calm you had felt since you had fallen, but also the least. You were lost in both the fear of who you had known him to be from the stories in Heaven, versus the soft sad creature who was snuggled up into you now.
As he hugged you, he too felt a weird sense of familiar comfort. The ask for the hug was party to feel that safety again, and partly to explore his feelings when he held you. It was comforting and infuriating, he still couldn’t place where he felt this from. Something felt kinda… like Heaven? But how would that make any sense? You were a sinner.
Eventually he gave up with a sigh and released the embrace, looking up at you.
“Thanks… for doing all this. It hurts, but it feels good to talk about it,” he said with a weak smile.
You smiled back at him, “Anytime, your ma-… Lucifer.”
With that you walked him to the door and said goodbye before closing the down behind him. You went over to your bed and flopped, while Lucifer teleported up to his own bed in the Apple Tower and flopped. Both of you proceeded on your own mental journey of your experiences of the last hour. Mostly unsure of what to think of it at all, but you both knew one thing. That you both were already looking forward to your next conversation.
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a sweet prompt because it's my birthday tomorrow hehe. it's their s/o birthday! what have the skellies planned?
I hope it was a fun birthday :D
Undertale Sans - Something intimate just for you and him. He's not a big fan of parties. He actually bakes a cake all by himself, gives you your present, and then you spends the rest of the day doing nothing on the couch, watching funny movies while cuddling. Sans likes simple things.
Undertale Papyrus - Big surprise party! Well, you kinda guessed it was a surprise party because when he's excited, Papyrus can't really hide it lol. And he acted really suspicious all day long, randomly dragging you across the town to avoid seeing people and stuff :')
Underswap Sans - He takes you to where you first met for dinner. He prepared everything and took a telescope so you could look at the stars once the night fell. He can be romantic when he really wants to.
Underswap Papyrus - He wakes you up at 5 a.m. and asks you to drive the car (because he can't lol) to the place he wants. You're confused until you see you're at Disneyland! Honey is as excited as you are.
Underfell Sans - He tried to bake a cake for you. It looks horrible and it tastes even worse, but he tried lol. You kiss him on the cheek as a thank you, even though he's all grumpy because he failed. You're too good for him.
Underfell Papyrus - He takes you to a fancy restaurant for dinner and acts like a true gentleman all day long, refusing to let you do anything in the house. It's your day, you sit on the couch and let him do his thing. He bought you a nice dress and everything for the restaurant, and red roses.
Horrortale Sans - Willow forced him to wear a suit, and now the poor guy looks constipated lol. Oak wanted a simple day at home with gifts and cakes but his brother insisted he go outside with you. So you went... Uh... Outside??? Oak took it literally. You kinda wandered the streets aimlessly for two hours before Oak sent a text to his brother to ask if they could come back in now xD He then returns to his initial plan: cuddles on the couch, cakes and gifts.
Horrortale Papyrus - Willow cooks a five-star dinner just for you. He really worked hard on it and was excited to show you all he did. He even dressed nicely and put rose petals on the bed and everything. He wanted this dinner to be perfect!
Swapfell Sans - He worked on a beautiful handmade necklace for you, with some of his most precious rocks. He's a little shy when he gives it to you, playing it cool, but you can tell he spent several months on this piece and that he's a bit emotive finally giving it to you.
Swapfell Papyrus - He hid a thousand birthday singing cards in the house. Whenever you open a drawer or a wardrobe, they start to sing lol. Some of them also have recorded messages of Rus screaming and so there's a chance out of two you're getting jumpscared. Rus is very proud of himself.
Fellswap Gold Sans - He says he loves you so much he went to steal the Crown Jewels for you. You laugh, saying he's cute, until he actually gifts you the Crown Jewels he stole during the night. Uh... You're both going to be in trouble, are you?
Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He made a cute painting of you. He put all his love for you inside. He's happy you like it. Other than that, you spend the rest of the day cuddling in bed and playing video games because that's all you need to be happy in life.
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redflagshipwriter · 3 months
Text
Reassembly 7
masterpost
Days went by. Peter got a lucky break and a short job offer. He holed up in the library and designed a website for a veterinarian’s office. 
Of course, that left the problem of payment. After the first day of working on the website intently he went out at night and got together all the information that he'd need to make a bank account. It was a tedious process that required going to multiple offices and faking an address. 
He barely slept that night. Nerves, man. But he got to a local bank and his paperwork apparently passed muster. 
…Was that fraud? 
Peter shrugged that thought away. It kinda seemed like the least of his problems at the moment. He was an interdimensionally stranded homeless teenager. He wasn't hurting anybody by lying so that he could find a way to feed himself. 
He was dropping weight at an upsetting rate. His only regular meal was the early morning buffets. Out of desperation he had started going to more- 5 hotels in a morning, and hitting a much bigger radius to avoid being noticed in the same places. He ate at all of them but more importantly he snuck out whatever food he could. It wasn't enough. He never got close to enough, but he had a payday coming. 
He only hung out with Kon once that week, guilty at the idea of going over to mooch food. Peter was busy, anyway. In the hours the library was closed he needed to go to the gym and take care of his hygiene, to break into offices, and to dumpster dive for more discarded clothing. 
He got more socks and a package of underwear, which did a lot for morale. It wasn't as stressful as his first attempt. He was able to be pickier now, at least. It wasn't like he had a ton of space to store anything. It was so frustrating to wash his clothes in the sink with body soap because he could never get them all dry. He ended up splaying things out on the library roof and just hoping that the wind didn't take them away. 
He got to the point where he couldn't go any further on the website without all the copy from the business. Peter spent his library hours reading history and current events and science. He spent an hour reading about the test he'd apparently need to take to get a legitimate qualification for college. He needed 50 dollars to sign up, and that was almost all the cash he had… 
He grimaced through actual stomach pains about it, but Peter forked it over and got signed up for the next test. 
He ended up spending a dollar and ten cents at a dollar store for a shitty phone cord to charge the old flip phone. He regretted it the next time he turned the thing on and found out that the service had been suspended.
Peter wasn't proud about it but he cried. He put his face in his hands and he cried. Everything was just so hard, all the time, and he was tired. 
The veterinarian got back to him with about half the information he needed. Peter plugged in their business hours, programmed a scheduling system, and amended the comments form. He still needed their logo. He waited on that and he studied for his test. 
It turned out that he had underestimated the cultural differences here. He ended up going through an online list of the most commonly read novels in high school and frantically read as many as possible. 
Kon showed up while he was walking to the library one morning after breakfast. Peter pulled up short to keep from walking into the guy and let out a frankly embarrassing sound.
“Hey, Pete,” Kon said breezily. He ignored the yelp like he hadn't even heard it. “So I was thinking that if I wanted to go to college there's stuff to do? And I don't know what.” He waited expectantly. 
“...There's a test,” Peter offered. “Gotta sign up.” 
Just like that, he had a study buddy. They tried to get him signed up that day but ran into difficulty with paperwork. Kon was cagey about it. Peter took him at his word the next day when he said it was handled, expression pinched. 
Studying with Kon was a little weird because the guy was like an encyclopedia but he also clearly thought he was a dummy. He could rattle off any formula that Peter asked about, knew dates and names, but he was basically petrified about writing a short answer question. Peter tried to be encouraging, but he didn't really know if it helped. It didn't hurt at least.
Days passed and became a week, then two. The veterinarian’s office paid him and left him a nice review on the freelance website. Peter did not spend a cent. He made endless lists ordering his priorities and plans, hands shaking.
He had almost a thousand dollars. That was a lot of money. It also really, really wasn't. 
What he wanted to do- he wanted to get a hotel and sleep in a real bed, as long as he wanted, and to feel good about eating the complimentary breakfast. But that would be wasteful. Wouldn't it? He didn't literally have to. He should save everything. No, he should buy more food– but if he got restaurant food it was a waste, it was much cheaper to cook- but he couldn't, without a kitchen.
Peter talked himself in circles that way, hands fisted in his hair. It was about an hour past midnight on the day he'd gotten paid and he was in the library, on the couch that wasn't really long enough for a teenager to stretch out on. 
Well. Peter sniffled. The inhalation brought with it the slightly musty scent of his clothes. 
He could use a laundromat, as a modest splurge. Hygiene was crucial. Hand washing the clothes had kind of been working but it was probably a better measure for stretching out between proper washes than a substitute for using real fabric soap. It wasn't irresponsible to maintain what he owned and to make sure he could pass in general society.
Peter felt a little better after deciding that. He rolled into the sofa to bury his face in the back. Honestly. He could just give himself a small budget without doing much to sabotage his savings. Say, 50 dollars? 
‘I absolutely need to eat more,’ Peter decided. He bit his lower lip. The occasional dinner with Kon only went so far. 
So. He needed to get something that was cheap, relatively nutritious and calorie dense. Portable, too, since all he had for storage was the bag.
…come to think of it, he should probably wash that too. 
“Alright, I have a game plan,” Peter muttered to the empty library. “In the morning I'll wash everything, then go to a grocery store.” 
Thankfully he was able to fall asleep after that. He bounced his leg up and down as he waited for the washing machine to finish.
Cheap, calorie dense foods. Obviously, rice or beans would have been best, but he couldn't cook that. The library had pitchers of hot water for patrons to use with tea bags but they weren't going to be hot enough to actively cook rice. 
…Oatmeal. Instant oatmeal would work that way, though. He could scoop some into the paper cups and - well, it would be a little weird, but not that conspicuous. 
Laundry took a very long time when he didn't have anyone to text, or a functioning phone to do it on. Peter briefly considered if he could prioritize getting a phone plan, and then decided not really. He took out his notebooks, which were nearly full at this point. He had the slightly anxious thought that he was going to have to buy another one soon. Oh, heck, he'd need a whole bunch of stationery if he was going to go to college. He let out a shaky breath, thinking of all the things he absolutely had to have, never mind the things he wanted to have, like a bed. 
‘Maybe they'll have cheap dorms. No, wait, if I stay in dorms then I'll be homeless between semesters.’
Peter buried those worries down deep. He needed to deal with them, but it didn't have to be right now. 
His vague plan worked out at the store. He got a bag of oatmeal for a few bucks, and then got himself a few supplementary treats. Aka, a little tube of nice toothpaste, a cheap nail clipper, a bag of protein bars, and a bunch of bananas that he carefully nested on top of the clothes in his bag. He ate one as soon as he left the store and threw the peel into the trash can. 
As soon as he had access to a kitchen, he was going to buy like, a big bag of rice and beans, a bunch of onions and bell peppers, and like two seasonings. Cumin and garlic powder? Coriander? Whatever. Oh, can't forget salt and pepper. 
The point was that he could eat so much more and so cheaply as soon as he had a stove and a pan. Peter bit his lip and promised himself that he was going to get to that point as soon as possible. Within the month. 
Oh. He stopped in his tracks. He didn't actually have to wait for the school year to start. 
People walked around him on the sidewalk. He felt like he was in a school of fish. He felt a little alien and silly.
That was so obvious. If Gotham was a nightmare place to live, then there would be cheap shitty apartments there. Sure, the 860 he had left in his bank account probably wasn't enough to get an apartment. But it was a really good start. If he got like, one or two more jobs and didn't spend much of the money, he could find the dingiest corner of Gotham and scuttle up the wall with a bag of dried beans. 
Peter did a fist pump and didn't give a hoot that he was in public. He had a plan! A solid plan. Gotham apartment, academic testing, then university: and then, uh. 
Hmm. Peter frowned. There was a bit of a gap in his plan there.
Well. Hopefully at university he'd figure out the dimensional travel thing. How hard could it be?
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Second Chance- Pt. 2
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Pairing- Steve Harrington X Fem Childhoodbestie!reader
Warnings- Anxiety, Skipping meals, (not purposefully, reader just forgets to eat sometimes) Swearing, Mainly fluff.
A/N- There’s def gonna be more than just 2 parts to this, so stay tuned for more ig? Apparently this post got deleted.
———
Things were great, you and Steve were a couple, and it felt good to have him back. Days were spent just enjoying one another, and everything seemed to escape your mind, even the looming thought of college applications.
“Here honey, these came in the mail.” Steve says as he tosses a stack of college letters beside you on the couch.
“Thanks.” You smile and grab up the pile, he sits beside you and holds your hand as you open them.
Brown- Accepted
University of Chicago- Accepted
Yale- Rejected
Cornell- Accepted
Community College- Accepted
Steve sat beside you, he was obviously happy that you got into so many amazing schools, but didn’t like the thought of you leaving.
“I’m so proud of you.” His voice is muffled, as his face is tucked in the crook of your neck as he speaks.
“Thanks baby.” You chuckle a bit as you talk, running a hand through his thick locks. You had originally wanted to go to the University of Chicago, but were now considering going to community college instead, to stay closer to him. You had just gotten him back, and the thought of leaving him was almost unbearable.
You spent the rest of the day on the couch, cuddled into him, watching movies he’d grabbed from his last shift at Family Video. It was still hard whenever you two had to be apart, considering your relationship was fairly new, but he figured you needed some time to think about your future when it came to college.
As you laid on your bed, the thoughts of going to community college and starting a life with Steve became more and more enticing, and by the time you fell asleep, you had made your decision.
The next morning, you awoke to the shrill ringing of your phone. You grumble, picking it up from where it loved on your bedside table, the pink plastic feeling smooth in your hands. You were about to complain about being woken up like this, until you heard Steve’s sweet voice come over the phone.
“Morning baby.” His sweet, honey-like voice coaxes you out of the sleep stage you’re in.
“Mornin’ Stevie, what’s got you up so early?” You reply, curious to why he had called you at this hour.
“Wanted to know if you had decided anything about college yet?” There it was, something you didn’t really want to answer. You knew that he wouldn’t be happy about you turning down all those good colleges just to stay near him.
“Well, um, I’m still thinking about it.” You lie, hoping that he couldn’t hear the quiver in your voice. “Maybe you should come over later today, we can try and make a decision together?” You figured it would be easier to tell him in person, explain your reasoning. 
“Oh sure, I’d love to baby, I’ll bring some popcorn and a movie.” He said, his tone oozing affection. All he had wanted to do was be near you, he had just gotten you back and wasn’t gonna let you go.
“Alright, see you at 5? I can pick you up from work if you want.” You offer, picking him up from work was always fun, and Robin loved telling you about all the stupid things Steve had done that day.
“Mhm, see you when you pick me up. Please make sure you eat breakfast.” He had a habit of reminding you to eat meals, knowing how easily you got absorbed in tasks, often causing you to forget to eat.
“I will, see you tonight.” You murmur, he bids his own goodbyes before hanging up. 
You spent most of the day trying to figure out how to tell him that he shouldn’t feel bad, and that your choice in college was exactly that, your choice.
When choosing your outfit, you went for some light wash jeans, (which Steve had said made your ass look good) a striped tee shirt, and red cardigan, matching the red stripes on the shirt. You looked at yourself in the full length mirror in your room, smoothing down your hair, trying to tame some of the frizz. You smiled at yourself, stopping for a second to admire your own appearance, liking how the soft light of your lamp highlighted your face.
As you drove towards Family Video, your nerves began to kick in again. What if he was angry? What if he broke up with you? What if he felt guilty? The thoughts drifted through your mind as you pulled into the parking lot, getting out of the car and clipping your key ring to the carabiner on your belt loop. 
“Hey Y/N, Steve’s in the back getting his things.” Robin calls out as the bell above the door chimes, setting down her book to look up at you.
“Thanks Robin.” You smile gratefully, you often thought about how if it weren’t for her calling you that night, you and Steve would’ve never started dating. “What stupid shit did he do today?” You ask with a light laugh, your smile widening.
“Knocked over a box of new arrivals, usual dingus stuff.” She says causally, right as Steve comes out from the back.
“Okay, well, they weren’t on the right counter, and you put them away!” He retorts as he walks over to you. He plants a kiss on your cheek, wrapping an arm around you as he does so. “Hi baby.” He murmurs into your ear.
“Okay, hurry up, I don’t wanna watch you two make out in the middle of the store.” Robin complains as Steve continues to kiss your cheek and whisper sweet things to you. You grab him by the hand, tugging him towards the exit a bit. He quickly figures it out and begins following you to your car. 
Once settled, he takes the drivers seat and you take the passenger, handing him your keys.
“Thank you for driving, I would’ve done it, but I’m a little anxious and I don’t think driving is a good idea.” Your explanation was partially true, but you also just enjoyed watching him drive. Something about the way his large hands gripped the steering wheel as the two of you talked seemed to make your heart flutter.
“Ah, don’t worry hon, I don’t mind. I wanna take care of you anyways, so I’m always willing to help.” He explains softly, driving your car along the familiar roads of Hawkins. You could see yourself starting a life with him, something domestic, something you’d never dreamed of until him.
When the two of you pulled into your driveway, he got out and immediately got the passenger door for you, offering you his hand.
“What a gentleman.” You giggle, taking his hand and stepping out of the car.
“Only the best for my girl.” He reply’s, suddenly scooping you up into his arms, carrying you bridal style. You both laugh, and leans down to nuzzle his nose against your own.
He carries you inside, setting you on the couch and grabbing his bag. You had somehow convinced him to use a tote bag, despite complaint about looking too girly. He pulls out a few movies, offering the selection to you.
“Let’s see, we’ve got The Breakfast Club, and Back to The Future. I’ll let you choose baby, you came up with the idea.” He smiles, holding up the VHS tapes to show you the two.
“I think Back to The Future is our best option.” You reply with a smile, watching as he puts in the player, leaving for a couple minutes to make popcorn.
Once he returns, he hands you the bowl and then snuggles down beside you on the couch, pulling the well-loved throw blanket over your intertwined figures.
About 30 minutes into the movie, you decided to speak up, not able to hold in your secret much longer.
“Stevie, there’s somethin’ I need to tell you about college.” You say quietly, picking at one of the loose threads on the blanket.
“What would that be Cherry?” He asks, his voice sounding nervous. Nervous? Never did you think Steve would be nervous, but here you were.
“Well, I made my decision, and I’m gonna go to the community college, stay by you.” You explain, shutting your eyes when you feel him take a deep breath.
“Honey, you really turned down all those opportunities to be with me? I really don’t know if I’m flattered or angry.” He explains softly, reaching for the remote to pause the show. He moves so you’re facing him, his sweet chocolate eyes look into yours, the little flecks of green standing out, something you had noticed recently.
“I know, but I don’t think I could go that long without seeing you, I’ll have to live in the dorms, but you can visit easier than if I was in Chicago.” You explain, stroking his hair until your hand reaches the back of his neck, which you cup with your palm.
“You promise that this is what you want? That you’re not just doing this for me?” He speaks so kindly, and you can tell that he only wants for you to be happy.
“I promise, I promise you that this is what I want.” You smile softly, hooking your pinky with his.
“Can’t break a pinky promise.” He says softly, an almost nostalgic smile on his face.
“Can’t break a pinky promise.” You repeat, feeling like you were kids on your front porch, making silly promises to one another. “You’re gonna help me move in.” You state, nuzzling your nose to his.
“Alright, deal, I’ll move you into your dorm.” He smiles as he speaks, and you’ve never felt more loved than you do in that one moment.
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