#because damn she looks so... so unsure almost? afraid? and that is quite understandable

[mistress-light]

Forspoken • I never thought I'd see you again...

[emeraldbabygirl]

Hate that my supervisor at work it feels like their attitudes towards me have changed a little after trying to stand up for myself and my sister like it makes me hate my job more now, like I don’t hate the job but it’s hard work and exhausting and I still am very anxious about it and I’m still uncomfortable around my coworkers but like I hate that they’re like “oh leave your home issues at home” and like they get upset when they made my sister and I cry and they were like “don’t do that don’t be emotional” like bitch don’t tell someone who’s crying or has, like would you tell a depressed person to not be depressed like what if I told them “oh just don’t smoke” like oh shit I’m cured of my depression and anxiety because you told me not to do that. Like don’t be so cold?? Idk I’m starting to dislike the coworkers, they gossip and trash talk other employees behind their backs, they’re kind of rude with no manners and they gossip and like I don’t trust any of my coworkers and this red flag who was in jail won’t even respect my sister enough to call her by her name even tho he was told what her name was like??? And like they brag about shit and bring their problems to work but like I can’t be anxious like I come to work and I do the job, I work through the anxiety and I work through the panic, I’m always tense I can’t relax and I’m super uncomfortable around the employees because I’m afraid they might try to do something to me and it makes me more self conscious of my body and all this shit like it’s a fucking work issue that follows me wherever like I can’t just put my anxiety and fears in a box at home and leave them like ???? And you expect me to do that like if it doesn’t prevent me from doing my job which it doesn’t, then shut up? It doesn’t matter? I’m not in my comfort zone at all I’ve been working in sanitation for a month now and I still am uncomfortable and nervous I avoid coworkers I don’t look them in the eyes when they talk to me, all this shit yet I still show up to work and do the best I can and you yell and cuss me and my sister out and ugh like can’t even admit to doing something and taking responsibility like you’re old enough to not be a petty bitch yet here we are. I wish the previous department never got laid off like ugh.

All this shit makes me want to quit but idk what else I can do and that’s more uncomfortable stuff and more things I don’t want like I just want a nice job that I am good at and am comfortable and confident in and the coworkers are actually kind for real and not two faced or kind until a month in or whatever I was sure these people were different and stuff and now I feel very unsure and ugh those damn kids just do whatever they want and one of them, the pretty guy, he’s been there the longest so he should know better yet he swings from the railings on the platforms like a fucking monkey and he’s got no manners like I wanna shave his head fr, give him the shittiest haircut to humble his ass like he’s lucky his pretty looks make up for his stupidity he doesn’t even wear his ppe correctly he fucking burps and says nothing, and one of those fuckers forged my signature and I have no idea if the supervisor is actually going to bring it up and say something or let it pass cause they’re like “buddy buddy” like they just do whatever and they haven’t gotten fired yet like ugh I almost can’t stand it and then they tell me not to be nervous? Like okay shit I’m cured. Like why don’t y’all understand fr?

I don’t want to get to know these kids I am afraid of them I don’t want them near me or even talking to me even tho they have not bothered me and prolly won’t I guess I should be lucky I am not skinny and pretty or else they would prolly be bothering me but still like ugh! And I’m self conscious of my weight and looks cause everyone but my sister and I are skinny like and that red flag fucker has the prettiest eyes and he’s 6’4 and he’s a horrible person, his poor gf I hope she can leave his ass like..idk what to do I’m so nervous about going to work tomorrow and learning on another platform and I just wanna marry a rich man and not have to work, I don’t like leaving the house anymore I’m anxious at work, out in public, in my own yard, sometimes even in my house. I feel safest in my room and I feel safe when I eat. And ugh I’m hoping I’ll just sweat all this fat off I’m tired of not being comfortable in my body and not happy I just want to like my body and have cute things and be happy.

There’s one coworker from another department and she’s the only one I like and feel comfortable with, she’s so kind and she likes me and my sister and she keeps talking to me about her kids and she tells me about how I’ll get baby fever and I just could talk to her so comfortably like there was no guys in the room to judge me or assume stuff about me like, and idk why but I’m worried and wonder what these kid’s opinions of me are and I shouldn’t like why should I care? I’m here to go to work and make money so I can scrape together shit for bills and food I don’t want to make friends but I want people to like me but not too much I don’t want to be flirted with again I am tiredddddd ugh idk this job might kill me.

[helloprettybb]

slip of the tongue

i love bucky with all my heart. that’s it.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

description: bucky doesn’t really like you. but a night alone and a stab wound may change his opinion.

warnings: violence, bad description of action scene, heated kissing??? not smut but implied

word count: 1.9k

Bucky hates you. It isn’t difficult seeing as you’re Stark’s daughter and every quality in the man is tenfold in you. You’re crazy smart and you aren’t afraid to show it. Perhaps your worst attribute is your arrogance since it’s justified most of the time. Bucky hates how you’re always right and the stupid smirk on your face when you outwit or outtalk someone.

He knows you can tell and that’s the worst part. It seems you do everything in your power to irk him even more. Like trying to talk to him every time he enters the room or asking for every excruciating detail for any minor event. You get on his nerves and nothing could change that.

The team left for a mission this morning so it’s just you and Bucky at the Compound. After doing nothing all day, Bucky decides to go for an afternoon run. He doesn’t listen to music, as he enjoys the sounds of the city between the mindless chatter and the speeding cars, it reminds him of his youth.

Towards the end of his run, Bucky starts toward the Compound when his ears pick up a yell. Going towards the noise, he spots three men assaulting a woman. She tries her best to hold them off, but she is greatly outnumbered and outmatched by the three, burly men.

Bucky springs into action and grabs the man whose hands are around the woman’s throat. Yanking him off easily, Bucky shoves the man to the ground with a force that was probably harder than necessary, but he doesn’t feel an ounce of remorse as he moves his attention to the two other attackers. He grabs the second man, who is slightly shorter than the first and punches him square in the jaw. He releases the woman and stumbles back. The third man lands a few punches on him, but they barely phase Bucky. While fighting off the last man, Bucky doesn’t notice the first guy get up. He also fails to notice the shiny knife in his hand before it’s too late. The man stabs Bucky in the side. Now Bucky’s pissed as he pushes the third man into the wall. He turns toward the man with the knife and knocks him out cold.

He looks around and realizes the woman must have run away. “Good.” he thinks, but only for a minute as he remembers that he got fucking stabbed. He groans as he applies pressure to the wound.

Bucky makes it back to the Compound, but the pain is getting worse. Stumbling inside, he heads for the labs to look for a medkit. But of course, since it’s his lucky day, you’re there, too. You’re probably finishing the project that you were talking about for the past few weeks - something about particles accelerating, but Bucky didn’t care enough to ask. He hopes he can slip by unnoticed, but the gaping hole in his side draws attention to him.

Your head snaps up from your work and you see Bucky hobble by. “Heya Buck,” you start in your usual playful manner. But when you look at the state he’s in, your attitude changes immediately, “What the fuck happened?”

“It’s nothing.” he grumbles. You look down and see that he’s holding his side. His sweatshirt and fingers are covered in blood.

“Bullshit.” you say. Moving around the lab, you quickly find the medkit. “Sit down.”

“I don’t need your-”

“Shut up and sit down.” you interrupt. Bucky’s protests stop as he sits down on one of the stools. You pull up a chair and open the kit.

“Y’know this will probably heal by tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but it can’t heal if you bleed to death.” you retort. While the injury most likely won’t kill him, your point still stands. “Can I?” you motion to his hand. He removes his hand and you quickly pull his sweatshirt up to treat the wound. Luckily it’s a shallow stab wound and the gauze you put on is enough to stop him from bleeding out. As you continue to apply the gauze, you have to force yourself to not get distracted by his defined abs and focus all your attention on the wound. Your fingers trace over his stomach and he jumps slightly.

“Sorry,” you mutter. Your hands must be freezing from being down in the lab for so long. Once you finish applying the gauze, you say, “There, all done.” You look up at Bucky and are unable to read his expression. It causes you both to fall into an awkward silence. “So,” you say to clear the air, “How’d this happen?”

“Some guys were attacking this woman. Didn’t know one of them had a knife.” He responds gruffly. You nod in understanding.

You finish patching him up and say, “If you need anything like extra bandages or a beer, just come to me.” Bucky simply nods, unsure what to make of that proposition. He begins to leave awkwardly and almost makes it out of the lab before something in him makes him turn back.

He pops his head in and says, “You said something about beer?”

-

Bucky doesn’t know what time it is and he doesn’t care. He’s on his fourth beer, but he can’t get drunk so it doesn’t really matter. It’s funny because one beer turned into two and then three and now he’s found himself in a full-on conversation with you. And the most surprising part is that it’s delightful.

Behind your arrogance and quick judgments, you’re really funny. He knew you were smart, that wasn’t a surprise, but talking to you more changed his opinion of you.

“So, Buck.” Usually, that nickname didn’t get to him but a healing stab wound and a couple of beers will change anyone���s perception.

“What?” he asks.

“Got any lucky girl?” He scoffs at that and you look shocked. “What? It was simply a question.”

“It wasn’t the question, doll.” Since when did he call you doll? Just a slip of the tongue, he supposes. “It was the fact that I’d even have someone.” he says honestly.

“What do you mean? You’re a good-looking guy, just over one hundred. Any girl would be lucky to have you.” Bucky rolls his eyes and laughs. Damn, you’re growing on him.

“I’m serious!” you exclaim. Your left arm is on the couch and your hand is leaning against your hand. He realizes this is the closest you’ve been besides before when you were tending to his stab wound. “You’re a catch, Buck. What stops all the ladies from falling all over you?”

He rolls his eyes at you again whether at your persistence or wording. “I’m a bad guy, doll.” There it is again.

“That’s not true,” you scoff. Taking a sip from your beer, you casually add, “Besides, I’ve always had a thing for the bad ones,” Bucky raises an eyebrow at that. “Come on, Buck. I’ve liked you for a pretty long time. I thought I made it quite obvious.”

“By annoying the hell outta me?” He jokes.

“Hey, I was just trying to talk to you. Although I know I can come across as….”

“Annoying.” he says back. You give him a look that makes him laugh and soon a smile spreads across your face.

“I actually do care about you. But, I know you don’t feel the same way, so I’m happy just being friends.” Bucky thinks it over for a moment. Just this morning he was thinking about how you bothered the hell out of him. Actually, the more that he thinks about it, he realizes that he never really hated you. Did Bucky like you all along? He’s about to reply when the elevator doors open.

“Oh, you’re back?” you turn to greet the team.

“Hey, what are you doing up so late with Bucky?” Your dad eyes the two of you suspiciously.

You catch onto what he’s implying and assure him, “We’re just hanging out. In fact, I was just heading to my room. See you tomorrow.” You say a quick goodbye and leave before anyone could say anything.

They all turn to Bucky, ready to attack him with questions. “I’m going to head up, too.” Bucky quickly exits. He catches up to you, although he definitely didn’t mean to. Curse his long legs.

“Oh, hey,” you say as he enters the sleeping quarters.

“Hey,” he says. Fuck it, mind as well try it. “So, about the friend thing.”

You wince, “You don’t want to be friends.” You seem a little hurt by it, “I get it, you don’t really like me. It’s not like I can force you, too. And especially after I basically confessed to liking you as more than a friend, I could see how a potential friendship wouldn’t sound too appealing.” You’ve never looked this uneasy. He’s used to seeing you so confident and assured, but this was new.

Bucky lets you finish rambling before he replies, “No, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Oh.” He laughs a little, finally shutting you up. He moves closer, but you stay still. You both can tell what’s about to happen, yet neither is making a motion to stop it.

“I like you. As more than a friend.” You look like you’re trying to play it cool and contain your excitement, but Bucky sees you bite your lip like you’re trying to stop your smile from spreading.

“So…” You start like you’re thinking long and hard about what you’re about to say, “Can I kiss you?” You’re adorable. Bucky takes one last step and pulls you into a kiss.

Your lips are soft against his. Beyond the taste of beer, Bucky picks up some… he swipes his tongue over your bottom lip… cherry lipgloss. He’ll never get sick of the taste of cherries. He thought it’d be a sweet, innocent kiss but when you grab at his back, trying to hold him as close as possible, he knows it’s anything but. You kiss him hungrily as if your life depends on it and Bucky eagerly accepts. He muffles your moans and gasps and thinks about how nice those sounds will be echoed in his bedroom.

Bucky moves you so that your back is against the wall. You moan as his hands trail down your sides and onto your ass. His hands go under your thighs and you jump so that you can wrap your legs around his waist. Bucky catches you and pins you between himself and the wall.

Your hands go up to his hair and play with a few strands before pulling lightly. He groans at that, separating from your lips and throwing his head back. With his neck exposed, you trail kisses up and down his throat. Sucking and biting occasionally and making Bucky go crazy.

Two can play at that game, he thinks. He reconnects your lips to kiss you again and starts grinding his hips into you. Your hands go to his back and start scratching against his shirt.

Before this could go any further, Bucky pulls away and asks, “My room?”

And you smile, “Fuck yeah.”

[thismaydestroyme]

Little Did I know Pt. 2

summary: in this short story, harry is famous, and he moved into a town during the summer to relax and potentially write some new songs for his upcoming album. i included some song lyrics from different amazing artists, and i pretended that harry and y/n wrote it.

author’s note: i wrote the beginning of this two months ago me being lazy i picked up where i left off because i’m too lazy to read through this. so if there’s any major fuck ups then…. i did warn you that i’m incompetent

word count: 3165

“I’m a SLAVE FOR YOU!” Y/N shouts out, and little did you know Harry was front and center watching your trainwreck of a performance. 

Harry did a whole french inhale without breaking eye contact with you. “I really wanna dance tonight with you.” Y/N hears Brittany playing in the background which you pause the music, to see what Harry would say about your little ‘performance.’ 

“Really? A slave? don’t you think it’s pretty dramatic don’t ya think?” Harry says, raising one of his eyebrows. You know he’s just playing around, but you coudn’t help feeling embarrassed how he fucking witnessed… that. You don't want Harry to know that you’re embarrassed, so you did the next best thing. 

“That fucking snake was huge. Did you know she was holding an Albino Burmese Python? I bet MTV wasn’t expecting that. Do you think MTV got filthy rich from that performance? Everyone tuned in for that performance and till this day it’s still the most talked about.” You ramble and spew out random information you bet Harry couldn’t care two shit about.” Harry has a smirk on his face, you bet he was enjoying you looking like a damn idiot. 

You start profusely apologizing until Harry interrupts you, “Do you want to come over?” He says all nonchalantly and walks away without you even agreeing. You’re all stunned and weren't able to even say one single word or even move your two feet. Harry doesn’t need to turn around to see you not moving, “C’mon weirdo, don’t act all shy with me now.” He threw back. 

“Fuck.” You whisper, but your feet finally start to move and your feet are heading straight to Harry. 

Harry turned his head and started to smirk, but he kept walking which had you feeling some nerves building up in your stomach. You’re not scared per se, just you’re going to Harry Styles house. This is normal. This is fine. This is just a once in a lifetime opportunity. 

Cool. 

When you finally get to his entrance Harry is already inside and he disappears somewhere because you don’t see him. You hesitantly walk inside and shut the door behind you. When you turn around you couldn’t help, but notice the disarray this house is covered in. Your mouth gape opened, but you immediately brought your hands to cover up how shocked you are. You couldn’t help but gawk at Harry’s place. There’s a big pink couch in the center of the room which is covered in boxes and clothes. There’s a TV on the floor which doesn’t seem to be plugged in because you don’t see it even plugged in. You try not to be too judgy because he did just move in, so what do you expect?  Harry having his life all sorted out in a span of a couple of weeks? 

You almost missed the nice white fluffy carpet that’s underneath the couch. Even though Harry’s place is a disaster, you can envision what Harry is planning on doing when he has his stuff all situated. In the back of your mind you hope he might even invite you back if he does a ‘welcoming party.’

Before you could even investigate more Harry walks back in with two bottles of water in his hand. He’s already drinking out of one of them, so he handed the one that hasn’t been opened to you. You reach your hands over to grab it. 

“This isn’t safe for the environment.” You states while unscrewing the cap. 

“Well.. you belting out to Britney is an endangerment to our society, so I guess we both got the short end of the sticks.” 

You immediately start drinking your water because you didn’t have your next rebuttal. You start scanning the room and hoping it’ll have your heartbeat settle down because you can feel it through your chest. Harry moves from his spot and starts taking boxes off the couch and to make some room for the both of you. He had to take down three boxes, so you could both sit comfortably. 

Harry walks over to you, but you freeze. Harry was pleased knowing he had you all flustered. It was one of Harry’s turn ons. Harry sits and brings his arms draping on the back of the couch which would have you being in his arm if you decide to sit right there. A couple of seconds of you contemplating you walk towards Harry and hesitantly sit down. 

“I’m not going to bite.” he whispers in your left ear. Feeling his breath in your ear made you slightly clench your thighs together, hoping Harry doesn’t notice. But knowing your track record he probably did notice.

You try to come up with a conversation starter that hopefully doesn't hold all the spotlight on you. You look down at her close water bottle and scrambling for something in her head. 

“Now you’re shy. The last time I checked up you were coming for my head after that  mishap with your dog earlier.” 

“You deserved it. You were attacking Cosmo, so yeah. I was in fact coming for your ass.” You glance your eyes to Harry. You’re overly protected over Cosmo. Cosmo is your life.

Harry gave you a smirk. He couldn’t help but to admire your bluntness. He barely comes across people who lit a fire inside of him. They always try to please him because he is a celebrity, and people just want to please him- which he doesn’t mind, but he does wish they sometime bites back. Having you in his presence he doesn’t want to let you go just yet, little did he know, he wants to get to know you more. 

“What do you do, Y/N besides piercing people’s eardrums and being a dog mom.” 

“Ummm.. that’s a loaded fucking question. But you being Harry fuckin’ Styles I guess I have to come up with something to make myself more interesting and less… chaotic. Well I’m a 21 years old who doesn’t have anything to offer to this world. I live my life accepting I’ll probably be working at Newbury Comics. And on top of that I love music, but I’ll be considered unqualified because I have no talents, and all I could do is muster up some mediocre lyrics that I have stored in my notes app.” 

Harry didn’t break any eye contact when you were summarizing your sad life. That created a pit in your stomach because you never experienced anything that could ever compare to Harry’s tense gaze. 

Harry never encountered anyone in the span of meeting them baring their skin to him. He couldn’t help, but feel some sort of pride knowing he created a space for Y/N to be able to let your hair down and express herself in full detail. He feels more drawn to you because he knows what you’re feeling. The unknown is a scary thing to feel, but you’re doing that with grace without you even realizing it. Just accepting reality is the biggest thing to acknowledge, and you’re doing just that. 

“What do you have on your notes? Could you even help me write my next album.” Harry shrug glances his eyes away from you. 

You feel a surge of worries entering her body. You don't know what’s going on, and you don't like it. “What?! You barely know me. My so-called ‘lyrics’ could be shitty and cliche. What are you getting out of this? My humiliation?” You don't like being taken as a joke, but that’s all  you could come up with this peculiar interaction. Harry sees a naive little girl. 

“You’re pretty,” Harry says. And that’s all he said. He got up and walked out the room. You're left on the couch alone, and not understanding what he just said. Just a few minutes ago he asked for your help, and now just a few seconds ago he said you’re pretty. What kind of fuckery is this?!

You immediately got up and walked to whatever room you could find Harry in. It wasn’t that hard because Harry is in the kitchen. 

“Harry! I need you to explain. Talk to me, please.” You say while running her hands down your face. You thanked yourself for not wearing any makeup.

“Uh, you beg. I like that Y/N,” Harry chuckles and closes his fridge door. 

“Well…. I do find you attractive and I see a potential in you. I might be wrong or I might be right. There’s nothing wrong with finding out and seeing what you have.” Harry says. Harry isn’t afraid to look people in the eyes, but you sure do. You’re debating if you should  take this risk. Harry did say there’s nothing wrong with finding it out. 

“Fine. I will take that jump with you.” You say unsurely, but you have some faith in him and a little bit in yourself. 

“Good. Now can you stop being tense and enjoy yourself. You’re in fact talking to the one and only Harry Styles.” 

“Shut up, doofus.” 

One month Later

After Harry made the deal with you a month ago,  you guys have been surprisingly working together quite nicely. You guys wrote one complete song, and that song is now called, “Dirty Little Secret.” You can’t wait to hear Harry sing that song with his band because you’re pretty sure it will fit the band theme for his upcoming album. Harry doesn’t want to limit himself, but he does have an idea to make his third album mostly rock. 

Harry didn’t expect you to be a fuckin’ genious. Watching you in the corner jotting down lines in your beat up notebook with a pen in your hand made you start feeling someway. You always appreciate the art seeing people enjoy what they do, but Y/N is truly gifted because she has no experience with producing music. One long night two weeks ago you guys were sleep deprived because there was a week where you guys would stay up all night to write and you would stop when you saw the sunrise. Y/N found her love in music because of her father. He was a huge factor that made her who she is today. There was substance in her when she would talk about the accent in a song, how she would bounce that off with the bar while you would play the instruments. Y/N is truly a force to be reckoned with and you couldn’t help but wonder how it would be like to have her on tour with you. 

Y/N never felt more alive after her father passed. It’s like Harry woken something inside of her. You never thought you would experiment with music with Harry Styles, the artist for this generation. You’re not going to lie that you would watched all of his interviews and he would talk about when he write songs he has no boundaries, and it’s crazy he upheld that ideology because Harry made sure you know that there’s no right or wrong way, the only way is to play around and see how it goes. 

“I’m going to get some water. Do you want some?” You ask Harry dropping your notebook on the coffee table that’s covered in rolled up papers and a lot of take out boxes.

“Yeah. Thanks.” He says. You nod at him, and you got up to grab two cups of ice water for you both. 

Your notebook page flipped to a new page and Harry couldn’t help but notice to see “Bubblegum Bitch” written in all caps. Harry got intrigued, so he happily kicked the table so the book could fall, so his excuse could be, “Y/N it fell.” 

Harry kicked the coffee table with his big ass feet and the notebook happily splat on the floor. Harry reached for it and started flipping pages to see that title again, and it took him a couple of tries to find it. 

“Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll

Don't care if you think I'm dumb, I don't care at all

Candy bear, sweetie pie, wanna be adored

I'm the girl you'd die for”

Harry couldn’t help but not try to read all the lyrics. He wants to digest it all, but he knew Y/N could walk in any second. He couldn’t help but make a small gasp when he skimmed to the part of the song that had him falling on his knees 

“I'm gonna be your bubblegum bitch.” 

“Harry, what are you doing?” Y/N says timidly. On the outside Y/N is calm and cool and collective, but on the inside you’re shaking and screaming. Your songs are attended only to you, not for other eyes to see. You’re still not confident with your writing abilities when it comes to songs for yourself, but knowing your idol probably read more than one line of your song is having you want the ground to swallow you up. 

“I’m not going to tiptoe around you and pretend Y/N. Bubblegum Bitch is amazing, fuck maybe fucking brillant Y/N. Shit.” Harry says he looks at you but goes back down to your notebook flipping pages after pages. 

You’re stuck where you’re standing. Feeling the condensation of two cups of water you’re currently holding is the only concept you’re able to maintain. 

Did Harry say that he likes your songs? Did he say brilliant? You’re not able to speak, all you’re able to do is walk up to the coffee table, drop the cups down and grab your notebook from Harry's grabby hands and collect your belongings. This is too much. You feel too much. You simply can’t right now. 

Harry sees you picking up your stuff and shoving your notebook and pens in your purse you bring every time you visit him. Harry couldn’t help, but feel bad that he could possibly make you feel uncomfortable. 

Harry stands up and starts walking up to where you are putting the last thing in your bag, “Y/N I’m sorry if me going through your stuff made you angry, but I couldn't help it Y/N. What I read was amazing, you’re amazing.” Harry hurrys out his words because he felt if he didn’t say it fast enough you would vanish. 

You’re trying to hold back your tears because it’s getting too much for you. The last time somebody read your stuff was your father, and right now you feel like you’re betraying the intimate moments you had with him. He was the one you would share your songs first with him. Now that he’s gone, you couldn’t put yourself out there to have someone else read it. You turn back around and you try to give a smile to Harry. 

“It’s okay, I- I just have to go. I’m sorry. We can talk later.” You push past Harry to make it to the front door, but you feel someone hand on your wrist so you immediately stop. 

“Y/N, I can’t have you leave, when I know that you’re not okay. Can you please talk to me? Please?” There’s a hint of sadness in Harry. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave him without having the answer he’s yearning for. 

You turn around and there’s Harry. His green eyes are pleading with yours, and you couldn’t help, but do what Harry is asking you to do. 

“Okay, I don’t want pity. Okay? Tell me you understand.” You ask Harry because the last thing you want from him is sympathy. 

“I promise Y/N. Would you mind if we sit down?” You nod your head and he walks you back with his hand in your hand. You both couldn’t help but feel some sort of palse running inside you both while holding each other's hands. It’s something both of you guys can’t simply forget. 

You got to the couch and you both sat down, no longer holding hands. You adjust yourself so you can face him. “Okay. My father died a couple of years ago and he was the only one I let read my stuff first. After he passed I never showed anyone my stuff because it would feel like I’m replacing him. I’m not mad that you read my stuff- I was just surprised, and I couldn’t help it but feel sadness creeping over me. Once again, I’m not angry at you, I’m just adjusting to a new milestone I just crossed without me not realizing it.” You say, and you’re hoping Harry doesn’t say, “Oh I’m sorry”  because you’re sorry to. 

“Well, I’m not sorry for your loss,” Harry says and you couldn’t help, but smile and laugh. “but I’m not sorry that I read it. You have something Y/N and I know you told me you haven’t had any experience in music industry, but fuck that. You have passion and I feel that every time we write something together in the past month, I don’t think I'll be able to forget about you when the summer is over.” Harry says. There was so much sincerity in what he just said.  

You thought it was all one sided because you felt so much being with Harry. You felt you were finally seeing a rainbow you hadn’t seen in a very long time. Harry brings so much out of you that you. Harry was always there when you were scared to take the first step. Him being there with you made it less scary because he was there every step of the way.

Harry didn’t expect he would’ve met someone this summer who would make such an impact on him. Harry thought he would do a lot of hooks up, go to parties and write for the entirety of the summer. But the universe had something planned for him. He met Y/N. He didn’t want to tell Y/N he that he found his first and only love, but he didn’t want to scare her. She could probably feel the same way or she only saw him as a friend but neither of them were ready for that big leap of faith. Even Y/N knew Harry is someone she couldn’t live without because he brings something out of you that you never felt in your entire life and that was courage and faith. 

Y/N met her faith. Only time could tell if faith would lead Harry and Y/N the soulmate they both were looking for.

“Harry, I don’t think I could possibly forget about you.” Y/N whisper because you felt if you used your normal voice the bubble you guys created would shatter within seconds.

Faith is a silly thing because faith could have you longing for something that’s impossible to grasp or faith could have you leaving you vulnerable, but that vulnerability could unlock something you never dreamt was even possible. 

[i-like-writing-stuff]

sorry [five hargreeves x reader]

request: wanted to say I love ur 5 fics and how you portray their relationship as old partners :”) 💖If it’s not trouble to do (Dont feel obligated plz) I had this idea of 5 and reader having a fight and them being too prideful or bitter to apologize. Reader ignores him for some time and Five gets grumpier than usual bc of that. To the point where, one of his siblings tell him to just stop being children, apologize and give them flowers. But he finds it hard bc he is not good with that kinda of stuff ☺️

a/n: thank youuu <3, i try my best to keep the tua characters in... well, character lol- as much as possible! i hope this fic turned the way you wanted it, anyway- enjoy!!~

summary: five gets grumpy when his girlfriend gives him the silent treatment for being a jerk... shocker.

“Could you stop for one damn second and relax?!” You yelled at your boyfriend, already stressed out by the way he had been almost carving a hole through the floor of the living room with all his pacing.

“Relax?!” Five yelled, turning to glare at you, “Do you even realize how stupid you sound?! How could I relax- I lost my last lead on that fucking eye!”

“Come again?” You raised a brow, crossing your arms as you watched him curiously. Did he just call you stupid indirectly?

Your nerves were tugging at the last threads of patience you had left within you- they had been doing that for a few days. You knew that life wouldn’t be quiet when you decided to give a relationship with your partner a shot, but you never expected things to get so messy.

Not only you followed his grumpy butt all the way to 2019 to stop an apocalypse- which you couldn’t care less about, now you had been stuck in your younger bodies because he miscalculated something before traveling in time. On top of all that, he had been a jerk to his siblings- which you grew quite fond of and viceversa, he also started being an asshole to you, all because he couldn’t find a way to stop the apocalypse.

“Five Hargreeves, did you just call me stupid?” You asked, seeing that he was frozen in place, going back over his words in his mind.

“Not exactly.” He knitted his brows in confusion, before realizing the irritated look on your face, “I don’t have time for this, Y/N.”

“You think I had any time these past two years putting up with your shit?” You retorted, making him raise his brows in surprise by your sudden burst, “Screw you, asshole.”

“Now that was rude!” He yelled after you, once you started walking out of the room, completely ignoring him, “Y/N!”

You had been with the Commission for over four decades, you completely trusted its choices, since you never were given a reason not to. Well, that was until the Handler recruited Five Hargreeves. He was about four-five years older than you, but nonetheless still had the impeccable skills of an assassin- just what the organization wanted and needed.

You, being one of the Handler’s most trusted agents, she assigned him under your wing in the beginning until he’d get adjusted. So, he became your partner, it didn’t take long until he became your partner in the real sense of the word.

Five was in love with you- stupidly in love with you. He loved your wit and your kindness, he loved that he could have intellectual conversations with you for hours on end, he loved the fact that he’d feel whole again with just one look at your face, your smile, your eyes.

But he was a prideful man, he knew that. If he was wrong- which he rarely was, he had no intention of apologizing. You knew how important stopping the apocalypse was to him, but... it pained you to see him almost lose his shit completely when he loses the last remaining lead.

For the next couple of hours, you completely avoided him at all costs until he’d get that stick out of his ass and apologize. 

And he’d better have a grand way of doing it.

You knew that it was not like him- he’d never apologize, and the fact that you were avoiding him was not making it any easier on him, but you were beyond pissed. Even if he may not have meant it, all you tried to do was help him relax for a moment, take a breather before that pretty head of his would explode. And in return? 

In return, Five fucking Hargreeves continues being an asshole- what a surprise.

“Jesus, where did all the caffeine in this house go?!” Five groaned, searching the cupboards in the kitchen, feeling grumpier than usual.

“I told you- dad didn’t like it.” Allison reminded him, as she and Luther sat at the table, watching him in confusion, “What’s got into you?”

“What are you talking about?” He asked, not done yet with his search- he wanted at least something that felt like coffee, “Come on- we don’t even have... coffee flavored fucking chocolate or some shit like that..?” He mumbled, shutting the cupboard with a loud smack.

“She means... you’re... grumpier... than usual...” Luther hesitantly explained, afraid that his little-older psychotic brother might have finally snapped.

“Mind your business, will ya?” Five asked with a fake smile, stomping out of the kitchen.

“I love Y/N, I swear I do... and oddly enough, Five too.” Allison spoke up, “But honestly, what was she thinking becoming his girlfriend?”

“I am just happy for her they’re not married.” Luther shrugged, resting his hand on his palm, as Diego walked into the kitchen;

“Is it just me or is Five a lesser ray of sunshine than usual?”

The following day, you treated Five with the same coldness as the prior day, which really drove him insane. Not only he spent the night in his bed alone, since you decided to bunk for the night in one of the empty rooms, but now you were still giving him the silent treatment.

Luckily, during breakfast, the Hargreeves siblings finally managed to understand what was going on.

“Hey, Diego, do you think we can pay Eudora a visit at the station after breakfast?” You asked the man, “I promised her the other day some files to help with an investigation she has on the side.”

“Sure thing.” Diego smiled, looking forward to seeing the detective again, even if he bickered with her from time to time.

“What files?” Five asked curiously.

“Vanya, can you please pass me the salt?” You ignored him, smiling at his sister.

Vanya raised a brow, unsure what to do, as the other siblings were piecing the puzzle together. Five raised a brow, as you avoided eye contact with him, waiting for the salt shaker which was, ironically, closer to him than Vanya.

“Here.” He said, reaching for it before his sister, handing it to you.

You looked at him with a smile, then at the salt shaker that was waiting on you to pick it from your boyfriend’s hand. Instead, you scoffed, getting up from your seat with your plate in your hands, suddenly losing your appetite.

“I am gonna go change.” You declared, placing your dish in the sink, “Diego, I’ll wait for you in the car.”

“Unbelievable....” Five muttered, throwing the salt shaker somewhere on the table, before abruptly getting up from his seat to pour himself a cup of freshly made coffee- Klaus made sure to stock up since Allison and Luther told him what had happened the other day.

“Why is Y/N giving you the cold shoulder?” Diego asked his brother, raising a brow.

“Leave me alone.” Five muttered, leaving the room even grumpier, with his hot cup of coffee in his hand to at least soothe him down a bit.

“Five!” Allison yelled after him, but he was already out of there, “Urgh, he’s such a child!”

After you and Diego had left the Hargreeves mansion, Five found it hard to focus on trying to get another lead on the prosthetic eye- he could not stop thinking about the fact that it almost had been twenty four hours since the woman he loved had chosen to deliberately ignore him, all because his stupid mouth could not help snapping at her.

What a moron he was, he knew that.

“Y/N told me what happened.” Allison told her brother, entering his room softly, watching as he laid on his bed on his back, “And woah- aren’t you an asshole?”

“What do you want, Allison?” He asked, rolling his eyes, staring up at his ceiling.

“Here’s a crazy idea... why don’t you apologize?” She suggested, crossing her arms.

“Have you... met me?” Five frowned, lifting his head to watch his sister in confusion.

“Look, you and Y/N both need to stop being children!” She said, “I know you may have teen bodies, but aren’t you both like over fifty? Honestly, Five...”

“Knowing I will regret this, what do you suggest, Allison?” Five asked with a sigh, watching as his sister smirked in response.

You and Diego didn’t really take long to finish your business at the police station. In about thirty minutes, you both were back on your way home, unaware of the big surprise that was waiting for you.

You entered the house, stretching your arms, already telling yourself you needed a drink, even if it was only noon. You figured a glass of some expensive bourbon would calm you down, so you made your way in the living room, as Diego went to his room in his own business.

Although, you couldn’t help but widen your eyes in surprise, as you stopped in your tracks once your look fell on Five, who was sitting at the bar with a Margarita in one hand, and a big bouquet of flowers rested in his lap.

“Five?” You frowned, stepping towards him confused.

Never in his life, would Five ever think he’d be so happy to hear his name on your lips. He softly smiled, realizing that Allison’s plan was working, as you finally spoke to him, even if it was one word.

“Y/N.” Five gulped, setting down his glass to jump off the stool, “These are for you...” He hesitantly said, stretching his hands towards you, as he held the big, colorful bouquet of all sorts of flowers towards you.

“I... Uh... what?” You frowned, taken aback by the gesture.

Five wasn’t necessarily the romantic type, so this was the first bouquet of flowers you ever received from him. You knew he loved you with all his heart and he was in love with you, that’s why you didn’t care about the romantic gestures he never did- but, right now, watching his cheeks turn into a slight shade of pink as he was biting on his bottom lip anxiously- your heart melted.

Allison had given him all sorts of advice on how to apologize to you with the help of Vanya, since they were both well aware of the fact that their brother was not capable of saying such words by himself. But right now, as you stood before him, Five had forgotten all that they taught him.

“I... I suck at this kind of stuff, I gotta be honest.” Five sighed, stepping closer to you, still with the bouquet in his hands, as you were still hesitant, “I... I shouldn’t have snapped at you, Y/N, I know. You didn’t deserve to be told that, even if I didn’t mean it at all. I swear, I was only mad and I never meant to take it out on you.”

“Oh my God.” You covered your mouth in shock, “Are you... actually... trying to apologize to me?”

“Sort of... yeah...” Five sighed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, “Look, what I am trying to say... What I am trying to say is that I appreciate your love, and having your support with me, and I know you care about my well-being.”

“Keep going...” You smirked, stepping closer to him, “Come on... they are three simple words.”

“Right...” Five sighed, running a hand through his hair, “Look, Y/N? I... I am...”

You didn’t even let him finish, as you softly took the bouquet out of his hand not to squish it, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him into a tight hug. You knew how hard it must have been so far for a know-it-all like Five to say that, so you didn’t want to push him further. To you it was enough that he at least felt sorry for bursting like that.

“I love you.” Five sighed, wrapping his arms around your waist, “And I truly mean what I said earlier.”

“I love you too.” You smiled, not yet pulling away from the loving embrace, “And I know... I know...”

Five pulled away to smile down at you, “Thank you for being so understanding... and supportive.”

“I’d say it is my pleasure, but I’d be lying.” You teased him, bopping his nose with the free hand that was not wrapped around his neck still and holding the flowers.

“Hilarious.” Five sarcastically said, slowly leaning in, “I think I liked it better when you weren’t talking.”

“Really?” You scoffed, but before you could continue the playful banter, Five had already captured your lips into a soft kiss, finding a better way to shut you up.

[themaribatpit]

Jasonette July Day 19: Mistakes

Written by: The Maribat Pit  Prompt: Mistakes Rating: T 

Soulmate AU - red string of fate around the ankles, references to other versions of the myth

A/N: This might become a mult-chap, we’re not entirely sure.  Comment on this post if you want to see this story continue.  There will be some Adrien/Chat Noir salt.

Marinette often heard stories about the ‘red string of fate’, the idea that there was a soulmate out there who was chosen just for her.  No one believed her when she told them she could see a red thread looped around her ankle. No one really explained what it meant, they would just tell her that she would grow out of that silly superstition.  She would look down at the floor, towards her ankle, where she could clearly see the red string tied around it.  Maybe they couldn’t see it, but she could, clear as day. When she became Ladybug and fought alongside Chat Noir, he would go on and on about how they were soulmates and destined for each other.  When she became Master Fu’s pupil, she asked him if he knew anything about it. “What brought this on?” he asked curiously. “I see this red string around my ankle, I’ve known about it ever since I was little. Everyone says it’s just a legend or a silly superstition.” she explained. “Around the ankle is a new one, but it’s also the oldest version of the legend,” Master Fu explained, “most prefer the version where it’s around the little finger, or a woman’s little finger and a man’s thumb.” “What does it mean?” she asked, “no one will tell me.” “It means the string will lead you to the person you are destined to be with,” he explained, “it may stretch and tangle, but it will never break.” For many years, she brushed aside other boys and their advances, much to the chagrin of anyone who knew the real reason why.    Whenever Chat Noir rambled on about them being soulmates, she knew it wasn’t true. It was infuriating, really, as she would look down at the red string leading away from him.  She would tell him that she was in love with someone else, because someone else was out there waiting for her.   Not that he would listen to her, but still she always kept him at arm’s length.  Some might say that her standards were too high, never mind that some boys just could not take “no” for an answer.   She thought about using Kaalki to find her soulmate, opening a portal directly to them.  The only problem was she only knew which direction the string was pointing, and not having a clear idea of where she was going could lead to complications. Marinette kept her head held high through Lila and Chloe bullying her, and the teachers doing very little to stop them.  She didn’t hate Adrien as much as she did on that first day of school, but he had done very little to stop his childhood friend from bullying people.  Marinette had been humiliated, insulted, and almost kicked out of school on multiple occasions.   Chat Noir, on the other hand, was only in love with the idea of her.   He had absolutely no clue who she was under the mask, and vice versa.  There were times when Marinette felt like she couldn’t step one toe out of line without someone breathing down her neck about being the bigger person.  She felt like she was the only one bearing the heavy burden of carrying the Ladybug mantle.  She took being a heroine seriously, but she knew that she couldn’t do everything perfectly.  Sometimes Chat Noir was more of a hindrance than a help, and this continued for many years. When days felt tough for Marinette, she only needed to look down at the string around her ankle and remind herself of what it meant.  It meant that someone out there was waiting for her, destined to love her with all their heart and she would love them in turn.  So Marinette kept her head down by day, and as Ladybug she would fight to bring an end to Hawk Moth’s reign of terror. Whoever her soulmate was, they would know the truth about her, they would love and accept her.  Sometimes she would wonder if Master Fu had chosen wrong when he decided that she should be the next Guardian of the Miraculous.  The red string on the other hand would stretch or tangle, but never break.  She could be certain that her soulmate was one choice that couldn’t be a mistake. Most of Jason’s earliest living memories were spent in hiding.  He would hide under the table with the family dog in his arms, while the adults around him argued.  When he got older, he would scurry back to the crevices in Gotham’s streets, hiding from whoever he just stole from.   All the time he’d worry they could see the glowing red thread wrapped around his ankle.  He could never understand what it meant, he assumed everyone had one at the time.   When his questions were met with mockery or indifference, he stopped sharing his curiosity about it.  It would always be glowing in the corner of his eye, like a bright light on a summer’s day.   One day he wandered into a bakery inside Gotham’s Chinatown.  He was waiting for the shopkeeper to look away so that he could grab a pastry without them noticing.  Their topic of conversation turned to a ‘red string of fate’ and Jason was intrigued.  Supposedly, the thread around his ankle bound him to someone. That someone was the person he was destined to be with forever, his soulmate.  He left the shop empty handed, hoping to try his luck finding food elsewhere.  If his soulmate was out there, whoever they were, they were going to be sorely disappointed.  He remembered thinking, whoever decided to pair him up with someone had made a terrible mistake.   If his soulmate could see him now, they would probably think so too. When he encountered Batman that fateful night in Crime Alley, his whole world had drastically changed from that night forth.  As Bruce Wayne took him under his wing and as he took on the Robin mantle, a secret part of him had hoped that he was becoming someone his soulmate could be proud of.  Still he kept it to himself, Alfred would occasionally find him staring off into space whenever he was alone.  If Jason asked Bruce about it, he would probably tell him that he needed to focus on other things. The glowing red string was the last thing he would see at night before letting sleep take him, this time, he wasn’t afraid. When she was 15, Marinette woke up one morning to find the string no longer glowed bright red.  Instead it was grey and limp, and she was desperate to know what this meant.  At the first opportunity, she ran to Master Fu, he was the only one she could confide in about this.  He lowered his head, almost unwilling to tell Marinette what it meant for fear of how she would react.  He told her solemnly, it meant that her soulmate had died… Elsewhere, a bomb was counting down the seconds until it could go off.  Jason had been battered, bruised and broken, but as long as his heart was still beating he still had a chance. Ten… He pushed against the locked door.  That damned clown had locked him in, probably for the sheer delight of it. Nine… He had only just noticed the bomb, he had to find a way out of the building and fast.  Bruce, Alfred, Barbara, Dick and...he looked down at his ankle, his soulmate...they were all waiting for him.  Eight… This was all a mistake, he had been led into a trap.  He hoped that Batman would arrive just in time to save him.  He would probably slap him upside the head after he had recovered, and lecture him about being far too reckless, but at least he’d be alive. Seven… Strength was leaving his body, most of which was probably beaten out of him moments earlier.  The fighting spirit that always burned like a raging inferno inside of him was dimming.   Six… In those last few seconds, all he had left in him was a silent apology.   Wherever his soulmate was, he wished them nothing but happiness.  He was sorry that he couldn’t meet them for the first time.  He wanted to tell them that the mere idea of them gave him hope.  Hope that quite literally hung by a very thin thread, but it was what kept him going all these years.  It kept him going through living on the street, through pushing himself to meet Bruce’s expectations, even through the ordeal he had just endured.  All he needed to do was look down and remind himself that whoever chose him to be someone’s soulmate hadn’t made a mistake.  The reason he wouldn’t get to meet them was because of his mistake. Five...four...three..two...one. Marinette didn’t know how to mourn someone she had never seen, met, or even spoken to.  All she knew was that for the next three years, the string around her ankle was limp and grey.  The legend said that it would tangle, it would stretch, but it would never break.  Sometimes she would lay awake at night and wonder what could have possibly happened to her soulmate.  Had they even noticed the red string around their ankle? Did they even care about what it meant?  How did they die? Was it an accident or did someone kill them? These were questions that kept Marinette up at night as she gazed up at her bedroom ceiling.  She didn’t notice that the string was slowly starting to regain it’s glow, though it remained very dim.  She barely paid any attention to it anymore, and thought the faint red glow was just a trick of the eye.  It was a cruel reminder of what that thread meant and what she looked forward to. By the time she was 18, Marinette decided she needed to get out of Paris.  She wanted to be a designer, but she also thought a change of scenery would be good for her.  She kept the Miracle Box with her when she moved to Gotham City,  to keep the rest of the Miraculous from falling into the wrong hands.  Around this time, the thread around her ankle began to glow bright red, just as it had done a few years ago.  She was honestly curious to follow the thread and see where it led, but Plagg and Tikki were unsure about it.  They could sense that something was amiss with the thread reignighting, and they had a bad feeling that the forces of creation and destruction were involved. That’s how Marinette found herself pacing around her dorm room, trying to think of an explanation.  “How can you tell?” she asked them, “Maybe whoever did this chose someone else to be my soulmate? Someone who wasn’t dead.” “That’s not really how this works, Marinette.” Tikki told her. “Well, not according to Master Fu anyway,” said Plagg, “if the string is turning red again, that means whoever it is was brought back to life.” “But that’s impossible...is it?” Marinette looked at them,  not that long ago she had fought a man who wanted to use them to bring his comatose wife back.  Was it really so impossible? “Long ago, we were forced to grant such a wish.” Plagg confessed. “Plagg!” Tikki hissed, “you’re not suggesting that maybe…” “I am,” Plagg told her, “and she needs to know if she’s going to go herring off looking for someone who might be dead.”  Plagg turned his attention back to Marinette, “long ago, someone did acquire the Miraculous and they did use it to grant one wish…to make them young and strong forever.” “How did they do it?” Marinette asked, a little afraid of their answer. “We created what humans call ‘The Lazarus Pits’.  Anyone who bathed in its waters would be healed, rejuvenated, even snatched from the jaws of death.” he explained “Tikki’s healing magic is infused in the waters, that’s the healing part.” Marinette looked over at Tikki, “So what’s the catch? It can’t be that easy, can it?” “Well, the more they bathe in them, the more it destroys their mind,” she explains before giving Plagg a pointed look.  “It heals them on the outside, while their mind is slowly destroyed.” Marinette is slightly horrified by the thought.   “Can it bring someone back to life?” She asked, they exchanged worried glances. “Yes, but...Marinette, the person they were could have easily eroded away.” Tikki explained, but Marinette was growing tired of imagining and daydreaming.  She had to see for herself the person that her soulmate had become, so that’s how Ladybug set off to see where the red string led.

[make-me-imagine]

Red Roses: “I Love You” - Vision Ending

Valentines Special: Day Nine

Day One: Morning Glories  //  Day Two: Blue Salvias Day Three: Sunflowers  //  Day Four: Pink Camellias Day Five: Yellow Tulips   // Day Six: Violets Day Seven: Lisianthus  //  Day Eight: Daffodils (Post with rest of the character endings)

Plot: It’s finally Valentines Day, the day the reader will finally learn who it is that had been leaving them flowers and notes expressing their secret feelings.

Pairing: Gen!Neutral Reader x Vision

Note: Gif made by me on Giphy, not great quality buuut, I couldn’t find any suitable gifs already on here. 

Triggers: None        Words: 1,674

Requested Taglist: @aquariuslavenderhoney​, @thebookbakery​​, @fablesrose​, @kitkatd7​, @thefallenbibliophilequote​, @beksib​, @destynelseclipsa​, @criminaly-supernatural​, @tammythompson-singslikea-muppet, @belloangelus​, @snarky--starky​, @saintbootlegloras​, @wecallhimbrowneyess​, @empath-bunny​, @okkulta​, @katinthemoon,  @ravennight41​, @youcancallme-rae , @radhumandragonclam, @unfortunateidiotinadilemma, @past3l-w1ngs​ ,  @goinggoinggonzo​, @mxxnmocha​, @groovyfluxie​, @gaitwae​, @emilythezeldafan​

February 14th

You stared off into space as your mind wondered off into a daydream. You couldn’t stop wondering how your admirer would show themselves to you, or even when they would. At the party was your assumption, but they never said so in their notes. Just that it would be today. 

“Y/n! Hellooo?” a voice called out in amusement, breaking you from your thoughts. 

“Huh? What?” you asked before realizing where you were “Oh sorry” you chuckled. 

Natasha smirked at you as you came back to reality, you were sitting at a diner table with her, having gone out to breakfast together. “You sure are distracted today. Got anything to do with a certain mysterious someone?” 

You eyed her before taking a sip of your drink “Maybe.”

“So, you don’t know who it is yet then?” 

“No” you admitted “Why, got something to tell me? Your loving friendship turn into passion?” you joked, you had figured it wasn’t her by now, you were close, but not that close. 

She laughed “You got me figured out then?” 

You began picking at your food “I keep thinking about everyone individually, but I just can’t figure it out.”

“Well, who do you want it to be?”

You met her gaze, no matter how close you were, you had yet to tell her about your feelings for a particular android, what would she think? 

“Oh come on, there isn’t one you want it to be above the others?” 

“There is...”

“So, who?”

You met her eyes again before taking a drink, whispering it out “Vision.” 

She stared at you for a moment “Vision?” 

“Yeah yeah I know” you put your face into your hands.

She smiled “No, Y/n, it’s fine I get it.”

“You get it?” you asked, peeking through your fingers. 

“Yeah come on, I mean, he’s charming, smart, basically human. I mean, he even has a human form, which I must admit is pretty damn cute.” she said with a smile.

You chuckled as you put your hands back down “I don’t even know if he...feels, like that. I mean, he has emotions, but...can he feel, I don’t know, attraction? Love?” 

“I wouldn’t put it past him. Like I said, he is basically human in a lot of ways. He eats, sleeps, laughs, why not love?” 

“And you don’t think it’s weird?” 

She shrugged “Not any more weird than dating an alien.”

You thought about it more, you really did like him, a lot, you even think you loved him, actually you were positive. But you ran from it because of the possible backlash of loving an android. Even though, no matter his appearance, you never saw him as that. Because he was so human. You had grown so close to him that you couldn’t help the feelings that grew for him. He was kind and patient, and held many of the attributes you thought the best people could have. Natasha was right, he was basically human. Maybe he could love you. But, you still didn’t know if it was him. 

“But what if it’s someone else?” you said after some time. 

“Then you’ll do what you feel in the moment.” she said simply. 

- - -

After breakfast with Natasha, you went on a few work calls for Fury, small transport missions that took the rest of the day. So, now, you were finally back in your room, looking through your closet for something to wear to the party. You had completely forgot to pick something out ahead of time, and now the party was going to start in less than 30 minutes. 

Debating whether you should really dress up, or go a bit more casual, you groaned as you sorted through your clothes. “Maybe something in between?” you wondered out loud, finally grabbing a few pieces you thought would be suitable, and a pair of shoes you had recently bought, and quickly finished getting ready. 

It wasn’t until you were in the elevator riding up to the party floor that it finally hit you full on, that this was probably the last moment you’d really have wondering who it was that left the notes and flowers. You would find out once and for all, who it was that apparently felt so stronger towards you. And as the elevator stopped on the floor, you took a deep breath and walked out, trying to convince yourself that you were ready for anything. 

Walking through the crowd, you saw Natasha, Bruce and Sam at the bar and made your way over to them. When Natasha saw you she smiled and nodded at you, a secret confidence boost. “Hey” you said as you sat besides Bruce. He and Sam greeting you with smiles. 

You sat with them for a while, talking and joking, and you had managed to forget about the anxiety of the evening for a while. Up until two voices greeted you from behind. Turning, you were met with Steve and Vision approaching. 

“Hello, Y/n, you look very nice this evening” Vision greeted with a smile. 

“Thanks Vis, you too” you tugged on the dress-shirt he was donning, making him smile, as you tried to ignore the own heavy beating of your heart. 

You all sat and talked for a while longer before parting and mingling with others around the party. Your anxiety fluctuated throughout the night, having had one on ones with most of the avengers at one point in the night, but hearing no confessions yet. You started to wonder if they were going to tell you at all.

As you walked over to a table and sat down, you grimaced as you adjusted your feet, which were now very sore. ‘That’s what I get for wearing new shoes’ you thought to yourself before deciding, if you were going to make it through the end of the night you needed to change shoes.

Rising, you began walking towards the exit, passing by Natasha, Wanda, Vision and Thor. Natasha gave you a quizzical look “You alright?” 

“Yeah, I’m just going to go change my shoes” you said giving a parting smile to the group as you left. 

When you got into the elevator you slipped off your shoes and picked them up, walking to your room and quickly making your way to your closet. After grabbing new shoes you went into the bathroom before you were going to head back to the party. When you exited the bathroom you almost stumbled to a stop when you saw a large vase with red roses sitting on your kitchen counter. 

“Was that there?” you questioned out loud, did you really miss that when you rushed in?

Walking slowly up to the counter, you admired the flowers before looking through them for a note. You felt confusion and a bit disappointed when you found none. 

“Red roses hold the meaning ‘I love you’.” a voice said from behind you, making you spin around quickly. 

Vision was standing at the door to your room, probably having had walked right through it. “Vision” you said quietly. 

He took a few steps into the room “I hope you are not too...disappointed in finding out that it was me who has been leaving you the flowers and the notes” he said while watching you closely, surely for your reaction. ”And I hope, you are not mad at me for lying to you when you asked me before, if I delivered them to your door that day.” 

Getting over the immediate shock, you shook your head, a smile crossing your face “I’m not disappointed Vision, a bit surprised maybe, as I was..unsure if you felt anything like that for me.”

“Or in general?” he asked, as if reading your mind.

You shrugged slightly as you took a few steps closer to him “I must admit it crossed my mind” 

“Yes, I’m sure it did, and I understand why. I myself was quiet..taken back, when one day I finally figured out what it was that I had been feeling.”

You gave him a slight questioning look “Attraction” he said, answering your unspoken question before adding on, while walking the rest of the way up to you  “...Love. But I do feel it, quite strongly.” You looked up at him as he stared into your eyes “But I have been afraid, that, perhaps, you could not be attracted to...something like me.”

“Something like you?” you questioned.

“An android, something that is not human.”

You took a step closer, so that you were nearly touching “Vision” you stared into his eyes “You are closer to being human than some humans I’ve met. Your kind, and smart, you have morals and beliefs. Your are not just ‘something’, whether an android or not, you are a great man, and I don’t see you as anything other than that.” 

He stared at you with a sense of awe as you told him this, his doubts about how he thought you felt fading away to hope as you smiled up at him “And...” he began “Can you see yourself...loving me? As I love you.” 

You smiled at him as you brought your hand to his face “I already do.” 

He smiled as he brought his hand to yours “Then I could wish for nothing else. Except..maybe one thing.”

“What’s that?” 

Moving his hands and bringing them to your face he leaned forward, bringing his lips to your own in a kiss. It lasted only a few moments, but long enough for you to seemingly get lost in it. When the kiss ended, you stared into each others eyes for a few moments before Vision pressed his forehead lightly against your own “Now, I can wish for nothing more but this to last.” 

“Then it will” you said with a gentle smile.

Forgetting to return to the party, you stayed together and made sure that this moment did in fact last for as long as you could allow it too, knowing that after this evening everything would be different, everything would be better. 

xx xx xx xx xx

If you like this ending, please consider reblogging, and checking out the other endings! :)

[wallwriterstuff]

Obsession ||Yandere!Alec Volturi x Female Reader|| Part 1

Warnings: Yandere!Alec, obsessive behaviour, unhealthy relationships and implied non-con later on. This is possibly one of the darkest fics I have ever written so please be aware if controlling behaviour, gaslighting etc. If this is triggering to you, do not read this fic. This and posts like this one will be tagged under dark themes so please feel free to block that tag if you do not want to see content like this in the future. 

The following link will take you to a Citizen’s Advice Page that have resources regarding Domestic abuse and violence. They detail various organisations offering support, refuge and advice for both women and men in abusive situations, however these only apply to the UK. 

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/gender-violence/domestic-violence-and-abuse-getting-help/ 

I am from the UK and therefore am not sure about what resources may be available internationally, however I know many of you are from places outwith the UK. If you have any resources you know of that would be useful or helpful to add here then please do! You can reblog this post with link in or message me a link to have me edit it into the original. I will post this link and any that get added in all three parts of this fic that I post. 

Words: 3116

Summary: A request for @tiger-khans-blog Savings your sister’s boyfriend was an act of kindness, something you had done out of the goodness of your heart, but hadn’t they always said the road to hell is paved with good intentions?  Alec is aged up to 16 in this fic.

Part 2: When You’re Lost I’ll Leave My Gaslight On 

Part 3: These Violent Delights 

It had been near constant since you’d entered the room.

His eyes were the most piercing ruby red – until they weren’t. The onyx colour had followed you ever since you’d set foot in the throne room, a sharp inhale being the extent of his communication with you. If he wasn’t so damn creepy he might have been handsome, with his shock of dark hair framing a pale face with all the sharp, angular cheekbones and jawline of a model. He was taller to, definitely taller than you by at least half a head, but his stare was piercing and completely at odds with his otherwise apathetic expression. He showed no emotion at all yet the way he looked at you…it was like the whole world revolved around you and only you. There was hunger and excitement and need and envy and a whole host of other emotions in his eyes. It had made you so uncomfortable you’d gravitated towards Alice as best you could, but the whole plan had gone out of the window when the hulking mass of muscle they called Felix started towards your sister.

Isabella Swan was two years older than yourself, but for most of your life she had been the one taking care of you. Renée hadn’t planned on having a second child but like so many other things in her life, you were a complete accident. As loving as your mother was, she wasn’t necessarily fit to take care of one child, never mind two. Bella was the one who had helped with homework, who had crawled into your bed with you when you had nightmares or were sick. To see Felix coming straight for her was like something straight out of a nightmare and you’d moved without thinking. One minute you were facing the taunting smirk of a mountain man and the next the room had blurred, and your vision was filled with the furious stare of the boy who had been watching you all day.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he hissed. His grip on the tops of your arms tight enough to bruise. You winced, wide eyes filling with tears, and in the next second the boy had released your arms and moved to tenderly cup your face. “Shhh, shhhh sh sh, it’ll all be over soon.” He promised, thumbs stroking your cheeks while you tried to squirm out of his grip. His eyes hardened, clearly unhappy with you trying to escape him. You could only see him, his face the only thing in your vision, but you could hear what sounded like rocks colliding, granite smashing. Your body trembled, anxiety filling you up. It wasn’t clear if the boy was more upset with your trying to get out of his grip than your interference with Bella’s execution, but those coal black eyes never lost their laser focus on you.

“Alec?” the petite blonde beside him sounded thoroughly confused while you fought off a shudder. You hated how his name sounded so appealing. Everything about him was enticing, even his scent, but he terrified you beyond belief with the way he was acting.

“Is it the noise? Would you prefer not to see? To hear?” he asked. In the next second it was all gone, like the world had fallen away around you. You couldn’t see, couldn’t hear; you were left screaming in your own head with absolutely no idea if you were still in that awful, awful room or if your soul had mercifully fled your body before you could feel any pain. There was simultaneously nothing and everything, an endless abyss of silence and the imprecise, ever-shifting image of what you thought you remembered the Volturi’s throne room to look like wavering in your head.

Being left alone with your imagination was somehow worse than seeing the actual thing. In your mind Bella was torn in half, one hand stretched towards you while the other remained in Felix’s grip. Alice was trapped by Demetri, Felix holding Edward by the throat. Then the scene would shift and Bella was limp in his arms with Felix’s mouth attached to her neck, both Cullen’s dead and Alec descending on you with that insane stare of his. There were too many ways to envision what mutilation might have occurred and you were beginning to drive yourself insane with them when suddenly the darkness faded.

You blinked rapidly, unsure if what you were seeing was real since it was so blurred. A gentle hand dabbed rough wool beneath your eye and you realised the world looked so watery because you had been crying. Alec used the sleeves of his jacket to dry your tears. Bella was watching you with horror filled eyes, your trembling body almost giving way as you fought the urge to run – you were sure Alec would just drag you back. You could feel his breath on the side of your face. He clearly didn’t understand the concept of personal space.

“Mesmerising, to see what you have seen before it has happened.” Aro murmured, stroking Alice’s hand before she pulled it back with a clearly forced smile.

“But what will.” She reminded him. He clapped his hands, looking so joyful you were left utterly paralysed with confusion. Did he not understand how terrifying this all was? Had he not seen the sheer crazy that was waiting to burst forth out of the boy holding you back? His behaviour was erratic, completely at odds with the rest of the refined and well disciplined Guard. How could Aro not see?

“Yes, yes it’s quite certain, you are free to leave.” Aro informed them. Your breath escaped you in a rush and you immediately tried to dash for your sister. Bella had opened her arms straight to you and the safe haven was so close, yet so far. Alec didn’t let you take a step, hauling you back against his chest and burying his nose in the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply.

“No you don’t, I’ve waited too long.” He grumbled. You struggled frantically, the tears springing to your eyes again as Caius tried to protest his brother’s decision. You had drawn the attention of most of the Guard and the man you knew to be Marcus by now though, the brunette king looking somewhat sympathetic towards you. For a man with no respect for human life to look at you like that could most certainly not be a good thing.  

“What are you doing brother? Let the foolish thing go.” Jane said, reaching for his arm. His head snapped up, a growl rumbling through his chest into your spine. If looks could kill, you had no doubt the petite blonde would have burst into flame then and there, bursting into a thousand pieces with the intensity of the danger in his glare.

“Bella!” you whimpered. His hold was like having an iron beam wrapped around your torso, two strong arms refusing to let you move so much as an inch from his chest. It didn’t make sense, none of it did, why was he so obsessed with keeping you near? Did he want you dead? He couldn’t, he’d had plenty of chance to do so by now and hadn’t taken a single opportunity to hurt you on purpose. So what was his problem with you?  

“Alec, dear one, is something the matter?” Aro asked, eyes glistening.

“Aro.” His brother held a hand out to him and the black haired leader flashed towards him while you continued to struggle, your frustration mounting.

“Let me go!” you cried, You stomped on his foot – nothing. You threw your elbow back into his ribs – nothing except a sore elbow for you. You tried to pry his arms away from your body – nothing.

“No.” he hissed. You squeezed your eyes shut.

“Let me go! Please! Let me go!” you begged.

“I said, no.” he repeated, his voice ice cold. Your heart rabbited in your chest, the nausea in your throat rising until you were sure you were on the verge of throwing up. You could barely breathe and it wasn’t just his tight grip that was the problem. There was a panic attack looming on the horizon for you if he kept this up.

“Please, let her go, she’s done nothing wrong. Aro said we were free to go.” Bella tried. She took a step towards you and with one swift jerk he had turned his back on her. You screamed, your limbs fatigued and losing strength with every hit.

“I’m afraid young Y/N will not be going home with you,” Aro’s voice was soft, “To separate them would clearly only cause harm. Alec cannot leave his mate.” You froze in his grip, fingers curling into the fabric of his jacket as you lip trembled. Mate? Mate? What the hell did that even mean? Animals mated, not humans! Was that what he was implying? The boy was so horny for you he wouldn’t let you leave? The fear that gripped you was utterly paralysing as you thought of a thousand different scenarios that made you want to be utterly sick with the horror of them; your choices taken from you, your voice inconsequential as he did things to you you never consented to.

“She’s my sister! Please, I’ve looked after her since she was born, you can’t just-“

“And from this day forth she’ll be looked after by me. She is mine.” Alec snarled quietly. He didn’t seem to notice you’d gone completely rigid in his grip.

“Alec her father will be devastated, she hasn’t even finished school, if you keep her here you’ll just make her unhappy.” Edward tried to reason with him, but he merely tightened his grip on you. You cried out, a sharp pain ripping through your midriff as he almost choked the life from you. The blonde-haired Guard appeared in your line of sight then, his expression somewhat concerned as you struggled to force air into your lungs. If Alec could hear you rasping for air he didn’t show it.

“Alec, old friend look at her,” he coaxed. Alec had done plenty of looking at you, you didn’t want him to look anymore. You shied away from his gaze, head ducking and hair falling between you. Shuddering gasps escaped you as your heart began to roar in your ears, a sure sign there wasn’t enough oxygen getting into your lungs. One arm moved from around your waist but you were too scared to move away from him now, his freezing cold fingers gently brushing your hair back. You flinched.

“She’s mine, Demetri.” He insisted, frowning like a petulant child who was being threatened with their favourite toy being taken from them. Demetri nodded his head.

“She is, and yet she flinches from you. You are scaring her Alec, and she will most definitely bruise if you keep holding her so tight, that’s I she doesn’t suffocate first. Do you want that for your mate? Do you wish to hurt her? To make her fear you?” he questioned. Alec gave a soft wince, immediately loosening his grip.

“I’ve hurt you?” he asked, looking a lot like a wounded puppy now. You swallowed past the lump in your throat, not trusting your voice to remain steady and simply nodding in response. His eyes were still wide with conflicting emotion, but Demetri seemed to be getting through to him at least. You were grateful, and pleaded with your eyes for the man to keep going.

“You cannot simply claim her Alec, she is so young still, would you not prefer her to live a full life and come to you willingly?” Demetri wondered. You felt your stomach drop as Alec’s expression hardened.

“You’re trying to take her from me to.” he growled.

“Alec you are-“

“She, is, not, leaving!” he snarled, a sea of black exploding around him. Your eyes widened, a cool mist swirling about your legs as you finally managed to stumble away from him. Only Bella was still standing, the others having crumpled to the floor until only he, you and Bella remained conscious.

“Y/N!” she cried out. He didn’t stop you running to her this time. You stumbled into her arms, sobbing and shaking. She held you tight to her, her fingers pressing harshly into her skin. It felt like butterfly wings caressing your flesh compared to Alec’s vice like grip. “It’s okay, we’ll figure this out, it’ll be okay, you just have to-“

“Make this quick, say goodbye to your sister. That’s what you want isn’t it? A proper goodbye?” Alec asked, mist still pouring from his hands as his black eyes followed your every move. You shook your head frantically.

“I don’t want to say goodbye, I want to go home! Let me go home!” you begged. Alec hissed.

“What don’t you understand? You are my mate! I’ve waited a thousand years for you, you are mine and you cannot walk away from me!” he snapped. Bella tried to hush you, stroking your hair gently as you collapsed into her.

“Please don’t let him keep me here.” You cried. Bella remained silent, horribly, startlingly silent. Her hands shook as she held you close. Alec approached you, the mist seemingly absorbing back into his body as he walked. The room was in an uproar as soon as everyone was on their feet again, Felix and Demetri forcing him to his knees with furious expressions. He still never took his eyes off of you, his expression devoid of any and all emotion suddenly.

“Are you insane Alec? Using your gift on us? We’re trying to help you!”

“How could you brother? You broke our promise and for a human no less!”

“What insolence is this? Need we remind you of your place boy!”

Alec didn’t respond to any of the accusations, his neck straining so he could keep his eyes on you. Aro only had to touch his hand to know his intentions for you, but you didn’t dare look anymore, choosing instead to bury your face in your sister’s neck as you struggled to calm your breathing and sobbing.

“I would advise you leave now.” Felix huffed.

“We can’t,” Edward’s voice was quiet, apologetic, “Y/N, if we take you, he’ll destroy us all.” Your chest constricted, you felt like you could barely breathe as a lead weight settled in your gut. Destroy them? Alec was a killer, if the red eyes hadn’t told you so then his actions just now had. It wasn’t difficult at all to believe he’d go so far as to kill anyone who stood between you both, but what hurt even more was that you didn’t trust him to be good to you if you stayed either. Why did it have to be you? You’d come to Volterra to do something good, to save someone’s life! So why were you losing yours?

“You ought think on your actions Alec, your mate will be here waiting for you, but for now you need some time to reflect on your position. I think two weeks in the dungeons ought to suffice.” Aro’s voice was ice cold, his fury obvious. Clearly, he had never thought one of his own guard would dare use his powers against him.

“You monster! You fucking monster! Edward I can’t leave her here, she’s my baby sister!” Bella protested. You tightened your grip on her shirt, eyes itchy red and cheeks wet as the terrible weight of hopelessness sank down on your chest. There was no way out. Even if they had tricked Alec and let you leave what then? Did you run from him for the rest of your life? Did you just wait for him to find you? Maybe the dungeon might mellow him out some? It was a bit of a relief really, when the stress just shut your brain and body down, even if the moment of relief was as brief as blinking.

You could almost pretend nothing had ever happened, that perhaps you were at home, as your consciousness dripped back into you. You were on soft sheets, your pillow cradling your head, and you wanted to just burrow away in them. The only thing was, you could feel sunlight warming your skin, and that addictive, woodsy smell was not the lavender your laundry usually came out smelling like. You felt awfully nauseous for a moment when you opened your eyes, your body readjusting to having your brain in control once more, but the red eyes that met yours were far kinder this time than Alec’s aggressively territorial stare. The chestnut brown hair and angular face was familiar to you, and you warily sat up to lean back against the headboard. Demetri let you put the distance between you with an aura of calm that tempted you to relax to. He was alone, no Felix or Jane by his side, but that didn’t mean he was any less dangerous.

“Where’s Bella?” you whispered. She had to be somewhere nearby. Maybe she was in the bathroom? Or had gone to find food and drink? How long had you even been out? Whose room was this?

“She and the Cullen’s departed for their return flight to America not an hour ago.” Demetri informed you. Your stomach dropped, your nausea rising and face paling.

“No…no she – she didn’t leave me here, she didn’t….you’re lying!” Knees curling to your chest, you gripped tightly at your jeans until your knuckles turned as white as your face.

“Not without protest,” he assured you, his voice softer now with sympathy, “But it seems Alec has become unpredictable. His reaction to the mate pull unnerved us all, you are not alone in your fear, though perhaps we fear different things.” His voice was soothing in a way not much else to you was right now. Thoughts swirled in your mind, the bitterness at your abandonment only outweighed by terror at being left behind.

“What is he going to do to me?” you asked, your voice barely more audible than a whisper. Demetri’s head tilted.

“And that is why I am afraid…I truly cannot tell you.” He murmured. He didn’t exactly comfort you when the tears came again, your eyes beyond irritated with all the crying you’d done today, but he didn’t stop you from letting your emotions run away from you instead. He remained close enough to remind you you weren’t alone, but Demetri didn’t hold you as Bella would, or stroke your hair or do anything remotely soothing. His greatest gift to you in that moment was to simply let you be human.

You didn’t know how long that would last.

[lesetoilesfous]

For @alienturnipp, from the angst prompt list for Nanders, “people who are okay don’t act like this”

@dadrunkwriting

Pairing: Nathaniel Howe/ Anders

Characters: Anders, Nathaniel Howe

Tags: Awakening fun, canon-typical Circle abuse

Rating: Mature

*

Nathaniel is not, habitually, heavy footed. On more than one occasion, the commander’s Antivan lover had suggested he take up a career in dance, ( “so light are your dainty footsteps, mi amigo.”) He’s not sure whether Anders knows this. This is largely because after three incidents in which Nathaniel had caused the mage to fall into something alarmingly akin to a panic attack, Nate has made an effort to be heavy footed around him.

Still, Anders jumps when Nathaniel knocks on the door to his room. The door is open - Nathaniel has never known Anders to close it, and the mage himself is standing in fairly sparse surroundings looking...lost. The expression fades almost as soon as Nathaniel catches it, like a mirage, Instead Anders gives him a smile as bright and thin as cheap paint. 

“Howe! Wasn’t expecting you...here. How do you do that? You always seem to melt out of the blighted shadows.”

Anders laughs, but the sound rings hollow, and his long fingers shake a little even as he brushes them against his robe. Nathaniel frowns. “Are you alright?”

It’s been three weeks since he and the mage were conscripted by the warden commander. More has happened in those three weeks than most of the time Nathaniel spent soldiering in the marches, but Anders still acts as if he’s only just arrived. It’s...disconcerting.

The mage, for his part, smiles again, “Oh yes, don’t worry about me, I’m not going to go all demon on you.” He wiggles his fingers, as if to emphasise his point, and his light brown eyes flicker over Nathaniel’s shoulder, to the empty corridor beyond.

Nathaniel knows that no one is there - he makes it his business to know when he’s being watched - but he turns anyway, and cannot help but feel the pantomime must be painfully obvious as he makes a show of checking to see if anyone is there. In the low, rainy grey light of Amaranthine it’s hard to tell, but when he turns back he thinks he can see Anders flushing.

Anders claps, and seems to startle himself with the volume of the sound (outside, a few of the mabari start barking, and he stiffens almost imperceptibly.) “So! Does the commander need me? Has she finally realised she has no use for me after all? Time for me to get shipped back off to the Circle? Between you and me, I think I’ll put up a fight. For old time’s sake, you know.”

Nathaniel’s frown deepens, and he moves to cross the threshold into Anders’ chamber, but hesitates. Something at the back of his head tells him that he needs to respect the mage’s space, and whether it’s old prejudice or gut instinct, Nate can’t quite force himself to disregard it. Instead he shakes his head, “Why would you think that?”

Anders laughs, and again, it rings hollow. “Oh, well, you know. It’s been a week and I haven’t been forced to risk my life again, so. I figured…”

Nathaniel cannot shake the irritating feeling that he’s missing something. “She cares about you a great deal. You knew each other in the Circle, didn’t you?”

Anders snorts, and it’s graceless enough that Nathaniel believes it’s honest. “As much as you could know anyone there. And she was younger than me. Mages aren’t allowed to mix with apprentices once we’ve passed our Harrowing.” Anders wrinkles his nose. “I suppose they want to stop us getting attached.”

“Why?” Nathaniel asks the question without meaning to and regrets it immediately. He’s certain he will not like the answer.

Anders shrugs, stiff and awkward in his tall frame. “Most of them die.”

Something of Nathaniel’s shock must show on his face, because Anders laughs - for real this time, though a little bitterly. His long hands flicker through the air like restless birds.

“Hate to break it to you Nate, but the Circle has a pretty high death rate.” Anders laughs again, higher pitched and a little manic. “Would you look at that? I’m a poet and I didn’t know it.”

Nathaniel crosses the threshold. He catches Anders hands without thinking, arresting their ceaseless, anxious movement through the empty air. Beneath his hands, Anders’ wrists are too thin. Nathaniel still isn’t entirely convinced the templars who’d caught Anders were feeding him. The mage, for his part, falls into startled silence. Nathaniel watches his pulse racing through the thin skin of his throat as he swallows, and is reminded of nothing so much as a hare.

But then he looks up into Anders’ brown, golden eyes, and sees the fierce thread of rebellion there (“I think I’ll put up a fight. For old time’s sake, you know”), and Nathaniel realises that Anders has never been anything other than a fox: wily and wild and refusing to be tamed. “What is the matter?”

Anders purses his lips. This close, he smells of the embrium and elfroot he carries with him on his belt. Nathaniel is half surprised he isn’t making poultices now. He usually was. He claimed it helped him think, but Nathaniel isn’t entirely sure it’s not just a habit he hasn’t shaken from making potions for the Circle. 

Anders pulls his arms back and Nathaniel lets him, not following as Anders backs up in the direction of one of the thin, hard pallet beds they used in the soldiers’ dormitories. The commander must have dragged it up here specially, though he couldn’t imagine why. Anders follows his gaze and coughs another laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh, that. Sorry, couldn’t sleep on goosefeathers. Too damn soft. I mean what’s laying your head down at night if you don’t wake up in pain?”

Nathaniel decides that Anders doesn’t actually want an answer to that, and presses on to the subject that he’s avoiding. “People who are okay don’t act like this.”

Anders flashes him another sharp, crooked grin and again Nathaniel catches the fire of anger in his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Nathaniel clenches his teeth. Delilah had never explained that being kind would take so much blighted work. (He can almost hear the commander in his head, laughing at him for that.) Anders is pacing back and forth in front of his thin, poorly appointed bed, and his hands have started moving again. Nathaniel speaks before Anders’ nervous energy manages to infect him too. 

“You have refused to acquire any material possessions other than that pillow, which you hide most of the time. You are stockpiling food beneath the floorboards,” Nathaniel nods at the one uneven plank which had often been the secret to his own childhood hiding places, “ for reasons I do not understand. You never close your door and yet you seem outright terrified whenever anyone enters a place you consider to be private. If you bathe I haven’t seen it, though I must assume that you do as you have not yet begun to smell. You are avoiding...everyone, but especially the commander, despite her efforts and obvious desire to get to know you better. For some reason you still think that she - or any of us - would turn you in to the Circle without a second thought.”

Anders frowns at that, stopping mid-step to look at him with something that is either curiosity or pain in his eyes. “Wouldn’t you?”

Nathaniel stares at him - and feels, for a moment - his own foolish heart plummet like lead into his stomach. “I - no.” Mouth suddenly dry, Nathaniel wets his lips and tries to speak past the lump in his throat (past the voice in the back of his head, he’s afraid of you, everyone’s afraid of you, just like your father).

Anders’ expression softens, and his shoulders drop. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

Nathaniel blinks, and tries to shake off the feeling of being rooted to the spot. “Of course.”

Anders’ mouth quirks upward at the corner. Outside there’s the gentle patter of the autumn rain against the muddy courtyard, bouncing off the mens’ new armour like a thousand soft, tiny bells. After a moment, Anders sits down, heavily, on the thin mattress, and gestures for Nathaniel to step forward.

Feeling as if he’s suddenly been freed of some strange, invisible spell, Nathaniel does so, almost toppling to sit on the floor in front of Anders as he looks at his hands. Anders breaks the new and sudden quiet, running the fingers of his left hand over the knuckles of his right. “They broke my hands.” The admission is so quiet and so unexpected that Nathaniel is almost unsure he heard it. But then Anders lets out a long, shaking breath and continues. “I was...half drunk with magebane so I didn’t...have you ever felt pain without emotion? It’s so hard to describe. Like shock, I guess. You register that something terrible has happened and that it hurts. But the grief, the anger, the fear. All that comes later. They let it heal naturally. So my hands are crooked now.” Anders splays his fingers in the air between them, and Nathaniel can see now, as he hadn’t before, the way his knuckles do stand a little crooked, the way a nose heals when it breaks. 

Nathaniel’s voice is rough when he speaks. “Why?”

Anders shrugs, and his expression is distant. “I don’t remember exactly. It was whilst I was in solitary. They were always doing…” His features shutter into a mask so impassive that even Nathaniel cannot read it, and he draws in a quick deep breath and exhales again. “It doesn’t matter.” He offers Nathaniel a small smile, and nods at the door. “I keep the door open because I haven’t had a door, ever. When I was a child I was too young and small to have my own room. In the Circle only templars and Senior Enchanters are granted the luxury of such privacy, and I was neither.” Anders nods at the floorboards. “I...One of the first punishments they’d go to was restricting rations.” Anders’ mouth curls into a thin  smile. “I think some of them just wanted to see how long I could go. Caught them making bets on it, once.” Anders shakes his head, as if he’s dislodging the memory from his mind like a cat shaking off water. He spreads his hands wide. “I don’t...know what to do with all this. Everything I’ve ever been told is that I can’t have it. Whatever it is.”

Nathaniel resists the urge to say freedom. He isn’t entirely sure that it’s true. Anders, on the bed, sighs and  slides down from the mattress to the floor, easily framing Nathaniel with his long legs, the tabard of his robe falling heavy and velvet between his legs. Nathaniel averts his eyes. Anders’ laugh is rough and low and warm, and then his (crooked) fingers catch Nathaniel’s head and turn it back to look at him.

“That I understand.” Anders leans forward, until his chest is pressing against his bent knees. He smiles at Nathaniel, sweet and a little shy, and this close Nate can see that his eyelashes are almost as golden as his hair. Anders’ other hand comes up to catch the other side of Nathaniel’s face, and Nate doesn’t resist when Anders draws him closer to brush a kiss against his lips. “Thank you for asking, though.”

For a moment they’re quiet. Far off, from downstairs, there’s the sound of Oghren bellowing and Sigrun cackling, followed by a clattering or armour as one or the other of them gives chase. Anders’ thumb runs over Nathaniel’s cheek, and Nathaniel reaches up to catch his wrist and press his hand closer. He waits until Anders meets his eyes to speak. “I would fight with you.” A shadow of a frown passes over Anders’ brow, and Nathaniel clarifies before he can ask, “ If they tried to take you away. Back to the Circle. I would fight by your side.”

Anders’ mouth twitches into a rueful smile, though the pad of his thumb keeps running softly over Nathaniel’s cheek. “Even against the commander? She’s the Hero of Ferelden, you know.”

Nathaniel shifts closer, letting go of Anders’ wrist to reach up and cup the back of his head, gently, firmly, pulling him closer until their foreheads are touching. “Even her. Against the wardens, the templars, chevaliers and darkspawn, Anders. I will not let them take you. Not whilst I am breathing.”

When Anders breathes out, Nathaniel feels the shudder of it where their bodies are touching. Anders doesn’t look at him when he replies. “Don’t say that. Someone might make you prove it.”

Nathaniel huffs, pulling back to look into Anders’ eyes. “Let them.” He catches one of Anders’ hands and pulls it between them, running his fingers over Anders’ crooked knuckles. “This is not Justice. I’ve met Justice.” He looks up, offering a smile which Anders returns, “He looks like a walking corpse. But, truly.” Nathaniel bends and presses a kiss to Anders’ palm, and watches pink flush through his cheeks like a sunrise. “This is not just. And I will not let them have you. I swear it.”

Anders shakes his head, shutting his eyes as his brow twists with a frown despite the smile on his lips. “I want to believe you.”

Nathaniel holds Anders’ hands tightly between his own, and presses a kiss to his forehead. “Perhaps, one day, you will.”

[bytheangell]

I Don’t Want to Say I (I Want to Say We)

( @shadowhunterbingo​ square: Arranged Marriage) (Read on AO3)

“What do you mean we don’t count?” Alec demands, voice rising to a near shout. Andrew keeps his expression as professionally neutral as possible at the outburst. It’s a closed meeting, and outside of the two Council members who requested it, the only person besides Alec is Andrew. This isn’t uncommon for them - Alec often brings someone else to meetings that could just as easily be entirely private, if only so he has a friendly face in his corner when dealing with some of the more antagonistic Council members. Andrew has been that ‘someone else’ for quite a few meetings that Izzy or Jace couldn’t make it to.

“Your marriage is hardly a sacrifice made in good faith,” Blackridge points out. “The warlocks feel the same. With how quickly - and willingly - Bane left with you for Alicante, they aren’t positive he won’t side more with you than his own people. He’s done it before. And so have you for him.”

“Everyone knows your allegiance is more to each other than each other’s people,” Lydia Branwell reluctantly adds. Andrew can tell that she doesn’t want to be here, and probably is only because the Council thought the news coming from her might soften the blow, given her history and connection with Alec. “Both sides want a newly arranged marriage to seal the agreement. Something purely symbolic.”

Andrew watches Alec silently struggle to keep his expression impassive, but he knows Alec well enough to catch the way his hands clench into fists at his side, nails digging into his palms as he considers the orders he’s being given. Andrew is impressed to hear Alec’s voice is almost even when he finally speaks.

“I can’t ask anyone to do that,” Alec says finally, shaking his head.

“You won’t be asking them, you’ll be ordering them. This isn’t a debate, Lightwood,” Blackridge tells him, with a smirk. “Trust me, I doubt Rey is any happier about being on the other end of this.”

Andrew, who’s remained otherwise silent this entire meeting, can’t help but react now. His eyes widen for a moment in surprise, gaze flicking from Alec to Blackridge in an immediate shift of interest. “Lo-- Mr. Rey is choosing the warlock?”

Blackridge laughs. “No, Mr. Rey is the warlock. The warlock council from the Spiral Labyrinth is likely informing him as we speak.”

Andrew’s blood turns cold. Lorenzo. Lorenzo is the other end of the arranged marriage.

A lot of thoughts go through Andrew’s head at that moment, but he can’t say any of them because no one knows about the relationship he’s had with Lorenzo for the past six months. A relationship Andrew almost could’ve pretended wasn’t that big of a deal if it wasn’t for the violent churn in his stomach at the thought of seeing Lorenzo with anyone else, or the sinking weight in his chest at the idea of losing him now, even if it was over something entirely out of their control.

No, that somehow only makes it worse.

“If you can’t do it, someone else will do it for you,” Blackridge adds to Alec, entirely unaware of the internal crisis Andrew’s having, suddenly realizing that Alec being in control of this situation is the only way Andrew has a chance of coming out of this with his heart intact.

“He can do it,” Andrew says suddenly, drawing three sets of surprised eyes in his direction.

“Andrew, I can’t-”

“You can do it,” Andrew repeats pointedly, hoping his tone and the pleading look in his eyes are enough to convey to Alec that he’s not just spouting generic ‘you got this, buddy!’ reassurances.

Alec looks him over curiously, but Andrew doesn’t risk being more insistent than he already was, not wanting to look suspicious.

“Alright. I’ll choose someone,” Alec agrees slowly. Andrew feels his shoulders sag in visible relief.

“You have three days, Lightwood. Or we’re stepping in,” Blackridge says, and a minute later he and Lydia are gone from the room.

Once they’re definitely alone again, Alec turns to Andrew.

“You gonna tell me what that was about?” Alec asks him.

Andrew hesitates. What is his plan? To stall in the hopes of Lorenzo refusing on his end? To make sure he can at least get a say in who is about to step in and ruin the best thing that’s happened to him in years? Or to be bold enough to put himself in a position he isn’t sure he’s ready for, in a declaration he is equally unsure Lorenzo will appreciate, or even agree to?

“I volunteer,” Andrew says before he can change his mind.

“You what?” Alec nearly chokes on the words.

“I volunteer. I’ll marry Lorenzo,” Andrew repeats.

“No. You don’t deserve that - no one deserves this,” Alec shakes his head. “I didn’t walk out of my own political marriage just to force one on someone else.”

“You aren’t forcing me. It’s fine, Alec. I’ll do it.” Andrew, Raziel help him, still can’t bring himself to admit why. He isn’t sure if it’s to protect Lorenzo and honor their agreement to not let anyone find out about their secret relationship, or because he’s afraid that admitting it wouldn’t be a true ‘sacrifice’ would force Alec to choose someone else. No matter the reason, he hesitates, guarding the truth even now.

Alec looks him over closely.

“You keep calling him Lorenzo,” Alec observes cautiously. “Are the two of you…?”

“Quite close already, Sir. Yes,” Andrew confirms without saying the word boyfriend. He knows he can trust Alec, but he also knows that Alec is bound, to a certain extent, to following orders. The less he knows the more plausible deniability he has later if questioned on his choice.

If he chooses Andrew at all.

“I see,” Alec’s expression softens.

“I can’t let it be anyone else. Please, Alec, let me do this,” Andrew says, openly pleading now.

“I still don’t like it. Give me those three days to see what I can do. But if it has to be someone… you’re certain you want it to be you?”

Andrew nods. “Yes.”

Alec sighs. “Alright. Thank you, Andrew.”

It isn’t until they’re both back at the Institute and Andrew receives a ‘We need to talk’ text from Lorenzo that a thought occurs to him for the first time:

What if Lorenzo doesn’t want to marry him?

They’re dating, sure, and Andrew would like to think that there’s something there between them… but dating and marriage are two very different things. What if Lorenzo would prefer someone else? What if he liked Andrew for now but had no intention of keeping him around forever? They’re doing fine now, but what if this offer is too much? What if this breaks them?

Andrew is a mess of nerves the rest of the day, barely able to fill out basic reports without his mind wandering until his shift is finally over and he immediately makes his way to Lorenzo’s. He walks, hoping the fresh air will calm him and clear his head, but it does neither.

The anxiety must be written all over his face, because the moment he steps through the door Lorenzo takes one look at him and says, “You already know.”

Andrew nods.

“It’s ridiculous!” Lorenzo exclaims. “Do you know they had the audacity to tell me it wasn’t even a sacrifice for me!? ‘What’s a couple of decades?’, they said! As if-” he words break off then, surprisingly emotional. “As if losing the time I’d have with you wouldn’t be a sacrifice.”

Lorenzo thought he was losing him. Of course he did, Andrew realizes. Because he expects that the Shadowhunter chosen would be forced into it, the same as him. And maybe if anyone other than Alec were in charge, that would be the case.

“You don’t have to lose me, Ren,” Andrew starts, but Lorenzo cuts him off before he can finish.

“Damn right I don’t, because I’m not doing it. They can find another High Warlock if they have to.”

“Well,” Andrew says. “That would make the fact that I volunteered to be the Shadowhunter in the arrangement a bit awkward, then.”

Lorenzo, who’d been pacing back and forth in his barely contained frustration and anger, stops dead in his tracks. “What?”

“I was with Alec when they told him what was happening, and I… I volunteered. I couldn’t exactly stand there and listen to them discuss my boyfriend marrying someone else.”

“Andrew, I…” Lorenzo starts, but his words trail off. The silence that follows while Lorenzo processes the new information puts Andrew back on edge.

“If you don’t want to, that’s… well, I suppose it isn’t fine, but I’ll understand,” Andrew’s voice is quiet but at least it fills the silence. “We hadn’t really discussed our future that far before.”

“I don’t want you to marry me out of obligation,” Lorenzo points out.

“I’m not. For me, at least, it’s… well, if things kept going well that was always the endgame, wasn’t it? We’re just accelerating the timeline.”

Andrew can feel his heartbeat in his chest, the pulse points in his neck and wrists seeming to quicken with every passing second that he waits for Lorenzo to say something, anything, about whether or not he wants to marry him.

“You would really want to marry a warlock?” Lorenzo asks him, and the hint of disbelief behind the words guts Andrew. Lorenzo puts on a front so often that sometimes even he forgets how vulnerable his boyfriend can actually be.

“I would really want to marry you, Lorenzo,” Andrew corrects, taking a step toward Lorenzo to reach out his hands. He doesn’t take Lorenzo’s, however. Not yet. Andrew stops halfway to his boyfriend and waits.

For a moment he’s afraid Lorenzo isn’t going to move, but then he’s closing the space between them, ignoring Andrew’s outstretched hands to wrap his arms around Andrew’s waist and pull him flush against his body, lips meeting in a deep, emotional kiss.

When they finally part for air Andrew looks into Lorenzo’s eyes to see the faint shimmer of unshed tears there before he blinks them away, smiling.

“Is that a yes?” Andrew asks, not wanting to leave anything up to assumptions at this point.

“Yes,” Lorenzo confirms, nodding. “I want to marry you, too.”

Andrew beams. “This isn’t exactly how I imagined proposing. I don’t even have a ring,” he laughs.

Lorenzo smirks. “I could do something about that,” he says coyly. There’s a wave of golden yellow magic, and then two beautiful golden bands rest in his open palm.

“Of course you would have engagement bands just sitting around for anyone,” Andrew laughs.

“Not just anyone,” Lorenzo admits.

Oh. “Oh, Ren…”

“You weren’t the only one hoping maybe someday…” Lorenzo’s words trail off as he looks up at Andrew with a soft smile. “I just didn’t expect to need them so soon.”

With any last lingering doubts or hesitations gone from his mind, it’s Andrew who closes the space between them this time, knowing they’re going to be just fine.

[potassium-pilot]

Prompt 9: Friable

“Dia, could I ask you a favor?”

“When have I ever said ‘no’ to you, Tataru?”

“Fair point”, Tataru replied as she placed her hand in her pocket and revealed a small crystal trinket in her palm, shaped like a sun, about an ilm tall. “I need to leave for a bit, but I don’t want to leave this alone, nor would I care to lose it because it fell out of my pocket. Could I trouble you to hold onto it for me?”

“This is the least troublesome thing I’ve been asked to do in a long time. Of course I’ll take care of it for you.” Dia took the sun-shaped trinket with her finger and thumb and lifted it close to her face for a better look.

“Thank you, Dia! I owe you for this!” Tataru waved at her and sauntered out of the Rising Stones, leaving Dia to marvel at the inanimate object for a while before placing it within her inventory.

“You know, you ought to learn to say ‘no’ sometimes”, a gruff voice commented aloud. Estinien sat at the table in front of Tataru’s desk, giving a wry smile. “And what’s that supposed to mean, Wyrmblood?”

“Means you run yourself ragged for them already. When do you put your foot down?”

“You don’t say ‘no’ to Tataru Taru.” She sat down across from him. “It’s one of the unwritten rules of the Scions. You’ll get used to it soon enough.”

“Why is that an unwritten rule?”

“Consider it like this; Tataru has watched her friends be murdered and kidnapped before her very eyes and nearly died herself, she was forced into exile alongside Alphinaud and I after that godsforsaken banquet, and she helped me fight a giant turtle man in Hell’s Lid. All this, she’s done and kept the Scions afloat, which was rather difficult when the majority of us were across the rift in the First. None of us would be here without her keeping all the things that would distract us from our duty away from us. If she needs something, I’m damn well doing it.”

Estinien wore a perplexed look on his face. “There’s a couple of scenarios in there that I’ll need you to explain.”

“All in good time. The point is, never say ‘no’ to Tataru, ever. She’s done and seen too much. She can have anything she wants.”

“You can’t always say ‘yes’ to people, or they’ll expect further agreement from you.”

“Good? That means they trust you.”

“That means they think you’re a doormat.”

Dia scoffed at the notion. “This is also my place of employment. What about when you were ordered to do something as a Temple knight? You couldn’t have been able to say ‘no’ to your commanding officer.”

“The Scions are not a military, as I recall. At any rate, are you implying the coinkeeper is your commanding officer?”

“As good as, if not better. Have you ever tried saying ‘no’ to her?”

“I have said no to her.”

An evil curl of her lip began to form into a half-smirk. “And weren’t you chased around Kugane for your efforts?” Estinien darted his eyes away with a scowl. “And then ended up saying ‘yes’ to taking down Black Rose facilities anyways…and then to becoming a Scion?” Estinien growled under his breath. Dia leaned back in her chair and pretended to hold a book. “Or was that in your day planner?” She started a pale imitation of the man. “10am: Brooding. 11am: Jump a million malms in the air. 12pm: Destroy any Black Rose facilities I see. 1pm: Become a Scion of the Seventh Dawn.”

“Don’t you have a crystal to watch?!” he retorted.

“I do, yes”, she reached into her inventory and opened her palm in front of him, “and I’m doing it well, see?”

There was a moment of silence, then the dragoon said, “That’s not the crystal” with a small bit of pleasure in his voice. She popped a very quizzical look and checked what was in her hand herself. A small sapphire charm was staring back at her.

“Shite! I was going to give this to Aymeric last night, and I forgot!” She stared into her inventory with no small amount of desperation. “Well, where in hells is the crystal, then?”

“Don’t ask me. You’re the one who agreed to keep watch of it.”

She sifled through her bag frantically. “I couldn’t have lost it; I was sitting here the whole time!”

“Ah, Dia, Estinien, how are you faring?” G’raha greeted cheerfully, as she continued to search through her possessions while Estinien reveled in his schadenfreude.

A few footsteps later, a shattering sound rang the loudest that any crystal could ever make.

Dia’s eyes widened. She slowly stood up from her chair, took a few very slow steps, and delivered to G’raha a look that could strike fear into the heart of Halone. “G’raha Tia”, she rumbled in a very low voice, “Move your foot.”

G’raha slowly moved his head downward to look at his feet, then slowly returned it to meekly gaze into her fearsome visage. “I’m afraid to”, he replied quietly.

Her voice started to raise slightly. “Move your foot, or I’m moving you!” He almost hopped away, and unveiled the result of her carelessness- the shattered remains of Tataru’s sun-shaped crystal. She gathered as much as she could and dashed back to the table with G’raha.

“You were a crystal once! Do something!”

G’raha stammered, unsure how to reply to a comment like that. “I-I-I can’t! I don’t know what it looked like!”

“Do I have to draw you a picture?! It looked like the sun!” She brought her face closer to his. “You don’t understand. Tataru had me keep watch of it.”

G’raha’s eyes widened and he gave a grimace. “She’ll kill you.”

“Me? Oh, hells no. Us. If I’m going down, I’m taking you with me, crystal boy!”

He gulped loudly. “All right, maybe this isn’t so bad. Maybe this is still fixable.” The two of them used their magic to lift up the shards, and start solving the puzzle. Behind them, Estinien stood and laughed under his breath. The distracting dragoon caused her to lose her focus, the shards dropping back on the table. She swung around and barked, “If you’re just gonna sit there and snicker at us, then bugger off.”

“This is too delicious to turn away.”

Dia groaned. “All right, look, I’m sorry I teased you earlier, okay? But when Tataru asks me to do something, I do it, and not because I’m a doormat! It’s because she’s been the one good constant in my life, and she’s stood by me from the very beginning. She’s my friend, and I’d do anything for her because I think she deserves so much more than I could ever give, and now I’m pissed because I couldn’t even do this for her!”

She turned around and finished with, “So you’ll forgive me if I’m not in the mood.”

The two arcanists started their puzzle once again as Estinien slowly walked away from the duo.

“So that’s how you feel about our receptionist?” asked G’raha.

She let out a sharp, quick breath through her nose. “Tataru’s not just a receptionist to me. A normal receptionist would have quit the Scions the moment we were implicated in the Sultana’s murder. A normal receptionist wouldn’t have been secretly learning arcanima in her spare time and use it to help me fight. A normal receptionist wouldn’t have helped nurse the Scions as they laid there unconscious, and fret over whether they’ll ever wake up.” The last struck a pang of guilt in the Mi’qote’s heart. “A normal receptionist doesn’t casually learn airship engineering and build a new one from scratch!” She let out a light laugh after that one.

“She’s as much a Scion as the rest of us.” Dia went quiet for a moment as she started to fit some of the last few pieces together. “She’s the best of us, really.” G’raha gave a empathetic smile. “Have you ever told her this?”

She hesitated, then responded, “…no, not really. At least, not aloud.”

“I think she’d appreciate it if she heard it from you”, suggested G’raha, “It’s good to extend appreciation to those who work so hard for us, especially if it’s as passionate as yours. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you express emotions like that before.”

“Ha, Aymeric can attest to how hard it is for me to express my feelings. If anything, I should be more willing- at least these feelings are completely platonic.” G’raha gave a light chuckle.

The pieces of the puzzle had finally linked together and the sun shined back at the arcanists…

…except for one shard that made an obvious hole in the bottom.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me”, Dia complained. The two stared back at the scene of the crime in hopes of seeing it glimmer behind them. “All right, help me look for that last part.”

“Right.” The two took one step before they heard the sound of latches from the front door.

“I’m back!” Tataru announced gleefully. The two quickly spun around to look at her as she walked back with boxes in her hands. “I was picking up supplies from House Fortemps. Dia, can I have the you-know-what back?”

The two averted their gaze towards anything else and started sputtering, trying to figure out just what to tell the lalafell.

“Uh…” Dia started.

“Well, see…”, said G’raha.

“The thing is…”

The door to Dawn’s Respite had opened and closed and from the doorway. a gruff voice spoke out. “It’s my fault, I’m afraid.” The dragoon stepped out to stand beside Dia. “She handed it to me because I wanted to see it. Stupidly, I dropped it, and well…” Estinien turned around and saw the unfinished result on the table behind them. He gently picked it up and showed Tataru. “You can see what happened. These two came together to repair it.” Tataru took the stone from Estinien and gave it a good look.

“Hm, overall, a very good repair job”, remarked the receptionist nonchalantly, “Though I didn’t take you for one with butterfingers, Estinien.”

She moved to her desk to give it a better look under the lamp. “I’ll need to remedy this missing chunk here, of course.” Tataru noticed a glint of light from the corner of her eye and found the missing piece of the sun. “Ah, there it is!” She hopped off of her chair and picked it up from the floor before hopping back onto it. Gently, she picked up the trinket, and easily fit the last piece into the hole.

“There we go!” She held out the sun in front of G’raha and requested, “G’raha, you were a crystal once. Do you think you could bind this last piece for me?”

His ears drooped. “Why is everyone calling me that?” He obeyed and repaired the last piece of it to make the sun whole once again.

“Yay!” cheered Tataru, “Thank you, both of you. You two are far better at reparations than I am.”

“Than you?” repeated Dia curiously.

“Oh, of course. I’ve repaired this thing about five or six times myself. This is the best it’s looked in a while.”

G’raha and Dia shot their gazes to each other, completely bewildered, while Estinien smacked his head into his hand and shook his head, muttering the word, “Idiots.”

“Well, Tataru, if I may”, G’raha spoke up, “What exactly was it meant for?”

Tataru stayed silent for a moment, then finally sighed and said, “Oh, I might as well. I practically gave it to you anyway.” She took out a long gold chain and a display case the same shape as the sun trinket. “The plan is to encase it in this, a much sturdier glass, and attach it to the chain to create a charm necklace for Dia’s nameday. I trust Dia, so I asked her, and I hoped that maybe she’d forget about it by the time I would give it to her.”

Dia’s mouth went agape. “What?”

“It’s true!” Tataru jumped off the chair one more and walked in front of Dia. “You do so much for us. You’re always going in harm’s way for everybody, and I feel like you get so little for it. Sure, you get a bed, some gil and recognition, but that can’t be the only thing you should get from this. I don’t get to do much for you, and frankly, I don’t think I’ll ever have a proper gift to thank you, but at the very least, I want you to feel special on your nameday.”

Dia was tearing up. She couldn’t resist going down to her knees and wrapping Tataru in a proper hug. “I couldn’t ask you to do any more! You’re the best of the Scions!”

“Oh, Dia, I’m not a Scion!” Tataru exclaimed as she returned the hug, tearing up herself.

“Oh yes you are! You’ve been through too much with us. You’re a better Scion than I am. I’ve barely come by here since I moved into Borel Manor, and you’ve been working yourself to the bone here.” She unwrapped herself from Tataru and stood back up. “I can’t ever thank you enough for everything you’ve done, Tataru Taru, for going through so much with us. I owe you the best gift I could ever give you on your own nameday!” Tataru’s smile wavered, and she wiped away her tears with her sleeve.

“I’m going to find my goldsmith’s set, and I’m going to finish this for you, Dia Sito!” she announced through the lump in her throat, and ran back to the solar to look in storage for her kit.

Estinien gave his usual smile that was barely a smile, and G’raha told her, “Now you see what I mean?” She gave a smile of her own. “I do. There’s only one thing.”

“What’s that?”

She lowered her voice and near whispered. “When the hells is Tataru’s nameday?” G’raha pursed his lips while Estinien quickly removed himself from the situation by retreating back into Dawn’s Respite.

“Let’s find her calendar”, suggested G’raha.

[alienisticxo]

X Angel - Chapter 3

Elon Musk x Reader

{Authors Note} I am considering taking requests, so if you have anything Elon-y that you’d like me to write, feel free to send them in my asks <3

I hope you continue to enjoy! You can also find this on AO3 and Wattpad. xo

Warnings: None

My security team immediately took one step closer to me as though this were some sort of communicated threat. But a strikingly cool grin crossed Elon’s lips— one that told he clearly didn’t care what anyone else thought about the matter.

“You can’t try the merchandise before you buy, sorry,” Jett retorted with no actual indication of being sorry.

“That’s not it,” he assured with a light laugh. “I’d like to see her without being under so much pressure.”

I eyed Elon then, a metallic eyebrow arched. While I was very much everyone’s golden child, cash cow, etc., no one had ever made an attempt at considering my own feelings in any situation. I was only to do as I was told. My thoughts or emotions were the least of everyone and anyone’s concerns, even though I had very much capitalized off of their fear of my denying their requests. At the end of the day, I was just another toy to play with, and that had all become very clear, very quickly. Coming to terms with the fact that they seemed to have fooled me more than I thought I was fooling them was going to be another story altogether. Still, to hear Elon say something like that surprised me-- almost making me as skeptical as everyone else suddenly was. What would the real reason be? On another hand, I was in disbelief that he might also be as kind as I hoped he would be on top of it all.

“Mr. Musk,” began one of the men who remained at the table nervously, “Please don’t make this difficult.”

They were clearly afraid of saying the wrong thing to him, walking on eggshells so to speak. To keep from risking the successful purchase of myself, however, they must’ve felt they had to confront him regardless of their fear.

“I’m not making anything difficult,” he said plainly, beginning to approach me then. “These beings are far more intelligent than we are, clearly capable of mimicking human emotion. You’re all poking and prodding her and she’s programmed quite authentically. She looks…” he paused, his hand lightly motioning toward me as he kept a polite distance. “Well, she looks nervous.”

I immediately checked my facial expression and posture, loosening up the best I could without giving away that he was correct. He had been watching me the entire time without saying a word, studying me to a tee without catching anyone’s attention. So much so, even I hadn’t noticed him standing in the corner until he made his presence known. I should’ve expected he'd been doing so the moment my eyes landed on him, but I had been so preoccupied in my own thoughts about the entire ordeal. Now I still couldn’t shake the shock of his way of treating me… like a person.

The man sighed through his nostrils, clearly exasperated at the request. But the other men paused and exchanged thoughtful glances, seeming to begin to understand where Elon was coming from.

“Hm… I suppose you’re right,” one said, causing the original man to clench his jaw.

“No dice,” said Jett flatly.

The man who’d examined me’s eyes seemed to light up then, and he turned to Jett, suddenly yearning to oblige Elon. I decided it was because of Jett’s insistence on not allowing it, so he himself wouldn’t appear to be the ‘bad guy.’ However, the others seemed genuinely curious themselves once he’d mentioned the notion.

“Perhaps if not alone with one of us, we can put her behind a glass of some sort,” one spoke up convincingly. “See how she acts without any outside influence whatsoever. Either way, it’s very important. We can’t expect someone to be with her twenty-four-seven on Earth to make sure she's still the bright and shining star we all know and love. It would be impossible.”

Elon breathed a laugh then, shaking his head as he reached a hand into his jacket, revealing a holographic card only seconds later.

Jett’s eyes shone like crystals in the sun the moment they set on the translucent object, his attention quickly caught and his interest extremely piqued. He pretended to mull over Elon’s offer with a hum.

“I guess we could cut a deal, Musk,” he said, feigning contemplation. “How much we talkin’?”

How fast his voice grew gravely and intrigued again. I wondered how much he was making off of my purchase as I stood like a statue, only able to watch what was happening from what felt like miles away. I wasn’t sure of his intentions, but I felt compelled to allow him the request. I hoped it was for something important. Maybe even something that could help me get out of the situation I now found myself in. At the very least, I just wanted the opportunity that so many dreamt of- to have time with him, no matter what it was about.

“However much you’d like,” was all he said. “But I’d like to see her for myself in a more natural situation— a one on one setting.”

I bit my tongue before gathering enough courage to speak confidently in a room full of intimidating people, unsure of whether or not my tactics would still work.

Here goes.

“There’s no need for that. Let Mr. Musk do as he wants, Jett,” I demanded, holding my hand out in a gesture to push the card Elon held down. “Or I walk from Astra before you have a chance to sign me away at all.”

I didn’t mean to backhandedly mention their signing me away, but I couldn’t help it. It must’ve worked in my favor, as Jett’s nostrils flared, and if looks could kill, I wouldn’t have needed to walk. I would’ve dropped dead right there. Cybernetic stars didn’t demand much of anything, ever. But I certainly had a tendency to threaten to cut all functions when I didn’t get what I was after, and Astra needed me far too much.

Or at least, they did.

Who were they going to replace me with?

But I digress…

My human requests and reactions were a major part of what made me so lifelike to everyone I deal with. It was unheard of among the others and they just weren’t sure if I was bluffing or not. That was what made me the only one like me. The special one, the star I was. It was what purchased my penthouse with the idyllic view and each one of my Tesla’s; what kept me living in the lap of luxury and able to help those I needed to help. Though of course, I always had to play my cards right, using my demands only in opportune moments. That was what kept me afloat with Astra as well.

A.I. was just tricky that way, and while no one knew for sure, Jett knew better with me. I was tempted to use this strategy in the situation I was dealing with now. But I knew better, too. No one would want me if I opposed it altogether, and I’d be left to the crime ridden outskirts like a few before me had been, too. It was obvious I was no longer an asset to the label.

Jett pushed past Elon then, clearly fuming over my interference with his under-the-table payment.

“Five minutes,” was all Jett said as he approached the doors to leave the room, not turning back to look at anyone.  

There was a brief smirk on Elon’s lips before he nodded for the other men to follow Jett, who quite willingly did so, and before too long, I was alone with the only man I’d ever admired.

I knew I was supposed to be more at ease with the sudden lack of eyes prying into my entirety, but my nerves continued to get the better of me. How could they not when standing next to someone as awe inspiring as Elon Musk? Maybe to any other person who didn’t care, it would’ve been easy, a relief. But I found myself trying my best to keep my composure even though I’d pushed for the request.

Not sure what I was expecting, I remained silent, my metallic fingernails clicking against each other in front of me. I felt like a child who was waiting for punishment. But the silence wasn’t as awkward as I was waiting for it to become. That was clearly his doing and not mine, as he was cool as ever. I waited for him to speak first, my voice too caught in my throat, anyway.

He turned towards the beautiful view before us, looking out over it into the night sky. The bright lights cast the same glow they had when he stood beside the window, but slightly dimmer, adding a sultry shadow to his features that I damned myself for noticing. He exhaled audibly, but not dramatically, eyes scanning over the skyline.

“It’s nice here, isn’t it?” He asked.

Small talk. Odd.

“Yeah,” I responded quietly. “One of the reasons I wa-“

I caught myself, noticing his green eyes glance in my direction without facing towards me completely. Pausing a moment to feign an error, I started speaking again, facing out over the view myself, then. “One of the reasons I love it here so much.”

He either suspected it was an error, or wasn’t concerned as he continued the conversation with no reservations.

“Earth isn’t so terrible,” he said. “Sure, we’ve fucked it up pretty badly, but it could be worse.”

I smiled. He was absolutely correct.

“Aren’t you headed for Mars, anyway?” I piped up next, unable to conceal my admiration.

“You’ve heard about that, huh?” He asked, turning to face me then.

I discreetly stiffened up again as he studied my features, the slightest furrow in his brow. I could tell he was trying to figure me out; figure out who could’ve pieced me together. What kind of rival company he might be up against without even knowing it. A.I. lifeforms were lifelike, damn near realistic, but it hadn’t advanced to the point I exhibited yet. Most people didn’t think twice, just saw how phenomenal I was— the walking, talking, cybernetic pop star that everyone wanted to be just like.

Elon was far, far more intelligent than that.

“You’re synonymous with space travel,” I responded a bit flatly, as though I was simply pulling the information from a database in my mind instead of revealing I just knew about him. “Mars was your first target. NASA pushed for X, and here you are now.”

He lifted a brow, an almost amused expression on his features as he let me speak.

“Why are you here? Buying a pop star hardly seems like your forte,” I continued, not wanting to sound as confused and even a little hurt at the notion as I was.

His response was a chuckle. He was certainly amused now.

“You’ve got a point there. I’m here to figure you out, Miss {Y/L/N},” he said, wobbling his head to one side a bit. “You’ve been all the talk back on Earth. The latest and greatest A.I. creation. You’re scaring people, to be quite frank, and I’m interested in.. picking your brain, so to speak.”

My face fell. Something about that gave me an uneasy feeling. I hadn’t exactly put together that I was feared while everyone I encountered adored me for all that I was. Or.. All they thought I was. The last thing I wanted was to scare people-- It wasn’t even the last thing, it wasn’t a thing I wanted at all. I knew I was something of a puppet to pertain to the masses in order to get messages across, but being completely frightening wasn’t on my to-do list.

“Scaring people?” was all I could manage, the slightest twinge of hurt in my voice.

“You move, speak, act and react as though you are a human being. No company, and certainly no one, has been able to package all of this kind of complex engineering into a real, walking, talking cybernetic human form. At least, not without it looking completely fake. Other cybernetic celebrities, while convincing enough to the untrained eye, haven’t been able to hold a candle to your authenticity,” his expression was serious as he held my gaze. “You must realize the kind of trouble that could put humanity into.”

He paused, thinking for a moment.

“More trouble than we’re already in,” he finished then.

All at once, I was lost for words. What I had expected to be making an impact in a monetary way was only frightening people in other places. I wondered if Xian’s felt the same way, or if they just turned a blind eye to the fact that I was the way I was. Perhaps they felt as though Planet X had simply had it all under control with the advanced technology they were known for. I had questions, of course. Who wouldn’t? But I had to keep my own front up. I responded the only way I knew how.

“I’m sorry to break it to you, but I’m just here to be a star,” I forced a smile.

He breathed another quiet laugh then, his eyes dropping before looking back out at the view for a moment. He picked up on my programming side holding my guard up at the question. “Of course you are,” he said quietly.

I suddenly felt crushed. I didn’t want him to dislike me, or feel as though I was a threat to mankind or anyone who may have crossed my path. I also didn’t want him to feel as though I were nothing more than another dumb pop star that was so well-known around celebrity culture. A million things ran through my mind at once, but I couldn’t voice any of them. I was caught between what I should say and what would happen if I did. While I didn’t know him from anyone, I felt quite obligated to be honest with him. It seemed as though so far, while only a few sentences in, he had been nothing but honest with me. There was something about him that I couldn’t put my finger on; something I couldn’t get past. The desire to let him in was overwhelming, but I pushed it away, chalking it up to the grave admiration I felt for him and nothing more. I didn’t know him, after all.

His hands were in his pockets, but after a few more seconds of silence hanging between us, his eyes met mine again before averting to my neck. Looking as though he wanted to say something, I studied him with a fervent curiosity. He lifted a finger quickly then with an inhale, softly gesturing towards my hair.

“May I?” He asked gently.

I knew then what he was after. He wanted to check for an indication of a company himself, knowing where they usually hide their numbers and letters in etching rather than stamping it on in ink. I wondered if that was the only reason he wanted to get me alone in the first place, and tried not to feel the faint pang of hurt in my chest.

While the idea was clever, he wouldn’t find what he was looking for, and I knew this all too well. Still, playing ball as I knew I had to, I obliged.

“Of course,” I nodded once, tilting my head a bit to allow him more access to the area he was to begin searching.

With careful hands, he moved my hair, his fingers gliding under my ear and to the nape of my neck, delicately feeling for any indication of an etching. I could hear his hand brush against the cold metal of my body, and instead of the previous hurt, a sudden, surprising pang of longing struck me as I deeply wished I could feel the warmth of his fingers.

My brow furrowed just slightly while I sat with the unforgivable thought as he continued his hunt. His cologne seemed to emanate around me, and the scent alone relaxed me without my noticing at first. There was something kind about his hesitance, his desire to treat me as not something that simply made people made money, but someone, with feelings and opinions. The notion was something I’d have to get used to, but not unwelcome in the least. I couldn’t help but notice he was certainly attractive, even more so up close than I’d casually noticed in photos, and his consideration for me alone spoke volumes— asking my permission, the gentle touch he used when I allowed it; it was admirable in and of itself. Cybernetic beings were seldom cared for in such a way. He seemed to treat me as an equal.

“Hm,” he finally contemplated, taking me back out of my thoughts once more. “I don’t feel anything,” he thought aloud.

“Sometimes I wonder if I didn’t just create myself,” I joked, my voice airy as I tried to keep the mood light.

But he wasn’t laughing as he carefully removed his hand and let my {H/C} hair fall back into place. I’m fact, his countenance read quite grave as our eyes met once more.

“It’s troubling,” was all he said as the doors swung back open, slightly startling us both.

[beyscape]

The Intern - 2

Andy Barber x Reader

Summary: Being Andy’s intern meant you got to spend more time by his side more than anyone. This was fine, however, until feelings got in the way and made things complicated

Word Count: 2.4k (can you tell I get carried away? ‘cause I get carried away)

Warnings: Age gap, technically cheating, swearing and stuff, mention of rape

A/N Contains spoilers from episodes 1-4.

Chapter 1    Chapter 2   Chapter 3    Chapter 4   Chapter 5

 Andrew Stephen Barber was a good man by all means. A good citizen, a good father, an exceptional defense attorney, trying his best to be a good husband, Andy Barber believed he was a good man. Standing in the line to grab a cup of coffee, however, made him question his entire belief system. He had tried to ignore the hushed whispers, the pointed looks, the way whenever he entered a room it would all go very silent for a second; he had told Jake and Laurie to ignore them, that they didn’t know anything. That that’s what people do, gossip. He was now really understanding how hard it was to simply ignore when people were so blatant with their gossiping. With their cold stares.

 He never had friends, not proper ones where he could grab a beer with after work or talk to them about whatever was going on in his mind. He thought he did, but these past couple of weeks proved how much of his supposed friends were mere acquaintances. It never bothered him anyways, he never felt the particular need for that sort of closeness in his life. He was used to being alone, that’s how he had grown up, not needing anyone and learning how to survive on his own. He had his son and his wife, though latter feeling as far away as any stranger would at that point. They simply had stuff to take care of together, Andy could feel that Laurie was itching to finally get away once the dust settled. So, when the inevitable papers arrived finally, Andy would be left to his devices one more time..

But then again, there was you.

His gaze turned to you, watching your movements as you waited in the passenger seat of his car, your head laying against the window. He watched you fiddle with the ends of your hair, clearly lost in thought, and it took everything in him to not smile. Poker faces, Joanne had said to them, they had to keep their cool and not lose their composure, not with so many eyes around them. Waiting to catch a mistake, a single slip of the tongue, the smallest of gestures.

He thanked the barista quietly after grabbing the two paper cups of the coffee placed in front of him, pushing the glass doors with his feet as best as he could without sending the cups in his hands flying. No one in the relatively packed coffee shop made a move to help him. He hadn’t expected them to anyways.

His movement grabbed your attention at last as he made his way towards the black car parked towards the back of the lot, a smile spread on your lips then. It was the same one you gave him when he wasn’t looking, that shy, small smile seemingly lighting up your face with adoration. This time it wasn’t when he was unaware though, and even that thought was a whole another thing to make you happy even amidst everything going on. This time Andy couldn’t help it as a smile matching yours very closely appeared on his face as well upon seeing the look you gave him.

Many things in Andy Barber’s life was royally fucked up and it had been for some time now, but a tiny voice in his head quipped up to remind him that not everything was bad, not the young woman smiling up at him. Andy felt a surge of gratefulness fill his chest.

That night at the park he had acted on his impulses, he tried to chalk it up to him being tired, confused, what with everything going on. You were a friendly face he had stumbled upon on a night filled with desperation. His excuses didn’t last however and when he woke up the next morning, Andy knew he had to stop lying to himself. He tried to deny the fact that he had been wanting to kiss you for some time now, to hold you close but he had kept it all locked away in the deepest corner of his heart in the name of being professional. That, and he wanted to protect you. He knew any move on his part could very possibly lead to a mess of problems with his family and even more so with your work. Andy was well aware of how much you loved your job and the career plans you had told him that one night, and he couldn’t dismiss all of that just because he couldn’t keep his feelings under control.

That night at the park however, was the night where he decided he was done with keeping his feelings under control. He could do it in a courtroom in front of a judge, he could do it with the people of his once loved town scrutinizing his every move, he could do it under the cold stare of his wife, but not you. Not anymore.

So, under the dim light of the street lamp above and the shadows covering everywhere the light didn’t touch that one late night, he had kissed you. And even more surprisingly, didn’t regret it one bit. Not the way he thought he would have. If he had known before how easy it was to kiss you time after time in that cold night, Andy was sure he would have done it way earlier.

“Hi.” You said as you carefully grabbed your cup out of his hands, your eyes meeting his while your fingertips slightly grazed each other for a split second. You wished to reach over the seat, to get closer, you had waited enough for this moment, and he was so close, looking at you with that same deep softness in his eyes- you let out a shaky breath.

You had met the next day after the park, knowing damn well there was a lot to discuss. After kissing you, resting his forehead against yours and holding you close for a moment that felt too short, Andy had told you to go home and get some rest. He had insisted on dropping you off at the house you lived with your friend, the ten-minute car drive filled with silence save for the quiet tunes of the radio. He had placed the gentlest of kisses on your lips before giving you a tired smile, and only driving off once he saw you safely go in. It was another restless night with no way of sleep, but for the first time in a while, it was because of something good.

Finding an empty corner of the park was easy, even in the daylight the park didn’t host many visitors during that time of the year. You both were awkward at first, acting like high school lovers unsure of what to do or say to one another. After minutes of hushed conversation and reckless, stolen kisses you had come to a decision about keeping things extremely low-key. You and Andy were well aware that even though whatever this was between you was exciting and new, the top priority was defending Jacob and making sure he got his innocence proven. So, you had to keep things seemingly strictly professional, not allowing space for even the smallest of rumours.

It hadn’t been easy however, both desperate to see each other as soon as possible. Thus, here you were, sitting in his car drinking mediocre coffee, trying to avoid prying eyes.

“Hi yourself.” The twinkle in his eyes seemed to return in the past week, maybe not entirely but he was getting there. You talked about the case for a while, discussing other possible suspects and who could have done such a thing, when the fat droplets of rain started to fall and roll down the front window.

“Y/N, I want to tell you something.” The tone of his voice made you look at him carefully, you noted how his burrows were not furrowed with his lips cursed in a small scowl.

“You know you can tell me anything, Andy.” You replied, meaning every word. He sighed at that, clearly struggling with how to start.

“I never told this to anyone, and only told Laurie and Jacob vert recently because they had to know. My father, you see,” he trailed off, blowing on his still steaming coffee a little before taking a careful sip, doing everything he could do delay what he was about to tell you. He was scared of you hating him or being afraid of him or even worse, pitying him once he revealed his darkest of secrets, but he knew that sooner or later it would come up in the case. He thought at least he could be the first one to let you in on the skeletons he had deep in his closet. He sighed again, his gaze following the rain droplets, he couldn’t bring himself to face you in that moment.

“He wasn’t a good man. When I was about five years old, he raped and murdered a college girl, she was barely nineteen. I, I struggled with that throughout my entire childhood even though I didn’t exactly understand what was going on. And when I was old enough to get it, it didn’t make things easier. It fucked me up and still, after almost forty years, the whole thing still haunts me. Haunts my thoughts, my dreams, and now with Jake’s case it all came rushing back. Like the dam I had built to keep it repressed broke suddenly and all of it just, flooded right in.” There it was. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was afraid of the reaction you would give, Andy wasn’t sure how he would take it if you acted the way Laurie had when she found out. He instantly regretted that he even made that comparison however when he felt your warm hand wrap up his, not quite being able to cover it all. He raised his eyes to yours.

“You are not alone anymore, Andy. Thank you for sharing this with me, and please know that from now on, you’ve got me in your corner. You no longer need to pretend everything’s just great; you have me. Talk to me, and we will get through it, okay? No matter what.” One hand wrapped around his big one, you placed another hand on his thigh, all you could do in that moment to reassure him that everything was fine.

He felt it again, that rush of warmth spreading in him as he stared at you in disbelief. How had you known those were the exact words he was internally dying to hear? His gaze traced your face, your eyes burning bright with determination, your lips, those beautiful lips he craved oh so much giving him a reassuring smile. He ran a ginger hand over the hair falling down your face, barely touching, hesitant to go too far that he couldn’t hold back. Painstakingly he had to remind himself that you were still in a public parking lot, where it was so easy to get caught even with the pouring rain outside of the car as he drew his hand back, resting it on top of yours, hidden completely from the view.

“I have to go see him in prison, and I don’t know if I can do it.” He confided in you, finding it so easy to talk about whatever was bothering him, scaring him… He had never had that kind of a connection before, not even with Laurie.

“Do you want me to come with you?” You didn’t think about the technicalities. You didn’t think about why that was probably a bad idea, there could be press around, how would you get the time off, what if people saw you and many more reasons why you shouldn’t didn’t even cross your mind for all you could focus on at that moment was how small Andy had looked when he uttered those words to you. This man with broad shoulders, well-built physique who commanded whatever room he entered had looked so small in that moment. Your eyes never left his, worried that if you broke the gaze the whole moment would shatter all around you. He nodded once. Twice.

“I would like that.” He looked around, his eyes scanning the surroundings for people, but the rain that had picked up its speed was acting as a curtain drawn between you and the rest of the world.

Satisfied with what he saw, Andy turned back to face you, cupping the sides of your face between his big hands. He leaned in without any hesitation holding him back, he had been waiting for an opportunity like this and heaven knows you were in the same position as him. Your lips met in the middle and immediately sent tingles down your spine, the gentleness of the kiss conveying so many words between. The kiss was different from the heated, passion filled ones at the park that night, and different from the secretive, exciting ones of the day after. No, this kiss was sweeter than them, so sweet you thought you could get drunk off of Andy’s lips, both of his hands still cupping your cheeks.

 It was over in a moment, not satisfying the need as you hoped it would, instead it seemed to make your craving even harder to ignore.

You knew you would have to leave soon, before Neal started questioning why your coffee run had taken so long and Andy would have to go back to his house, trying to fend off the occasional reporters still waiting around his house to get one more statement from him. You both were uncomfortably aware of the pressing issues in your life, almost working together on purpose to keep you apart after a year of pining and dreaming.

“Soon”, Andy reassured you after placing kiss after kiss to your lips, to the corner of your mouth, on top of your nose. “Soon, this whole thing will blow out and we will be free to do whatever we want.”

“Together,” you kissed the palm of his hand still resting on your cheek, not wanting to let go, “we will figure it out together.”

----------------------------------------

I had to get this in writing before sleep so guess who went to bed at 5 a.m? I wanted to wait and watch episode 5 before writing some of the more important scenes, so here have whatever this is. My inbox is open for requests, asks, feedback or just to talk about Chris! 

[asian-hero]

Hi! “I can't pretend anymore!” + “That sounds a lot like ‘goodbye.’” for Todoroki Shouto please! also, may I have a link to ur masterlist? (○ﾟεﾟ○)

A/N: Debating on whether or not I want to write a second part to this (Pro Hero!AU)

The next request I have is more fun and sweet, I promise

p.s. here’s a link to my masterlist (my bnha section is embarrassingly small, please send in some more requests!)

“I can’t pretend anymore!” + “That sounds a lot like a ‘goodbye.’” from this prompt list (feel free to send in a sentence(s) and a character)

Part two of this fic is available here: Despite the Fights, I Still Love You

Summary: You knew what you were getting into when you decided to date a pro hero, all of the secrecy, the late nights waiting up for Shouto to get home. Despite this, you couldn’t help the anger forming whenever he’d miss yet another date night, the nausea you felt when you saw him fighting a tough battle, or the wave of jealousy that came whenever you saw hundreds of fans online talk about how “good” with whoever he was working with. So, you had to ask yourself: is it even worth it anymore?

Words: 1,951

In all honesty, you should’ve known that dating Shouto would be tough, he was a pro hero after all. So, you felt as though you should be a bit more understanding when it came to certain things, like not telling people that you two were dating, in fear that you’d be used as a pawn for the villains one day, or whenever you had to rush to the hospital because he pushed himself too hard, the fear gripping your heart as you prayed that he wouldn’t be dead. However, it was hard to be so understanding when it came to being stood up, once again, in your own damn home, which was currently where you were now.

It was your four year anniversary with Shouto, and you wanted to surprise him with a stay-at-home date, since neither of you liked to go outside anyway. You had texted him earlier, making him promise that he’d be home tonight, but gave no further instructions after that. For the past few months, you’ve felt that you relationship with the man had been at a sort of stand-still, or perhaps it was declining, you weren’t really sure. It seemed as though every time the two of you could finally be alone, Shouto was called in for work. Whether it be due to a villain outbreak, a rescue mission, or just to give a surprise lecture at U.A., you two just never seemed to have the time for each other anymore. It also didn’t help that, whenever he’d come back home, he either rushing off to bed to sleep, or you were already passed out on the couch, waiting for him. Sometimes, a small voice in your head was telling you that he just didn’t care anymore, that you two feel into some sort of lull, where he knew you’d always be there, so there was no need to try anymore. Of course, you’d push those thoughts back, feeling guilty that you’d even think that way. The man was busy, there was no way he could possibly be in two places at once.

So, you decided to change things, starting with your anniversary dinner. Tonight, you two would finally get to relax together and have an actual conversation. You truly did go all out, setting the table to resemble some fancy restaurant, lighting candles to set the mood, and even going out of your way to buy some roses from a cute little flower shop not too far away from you. Unsurprisingly, you decided to make soba, hoping that the dish would make your boyfriend smile, something you hadn’t seen in a while. 

Once you had everything all set up, you rushed off to your shared bedroom to finish getting ready. Taking off your normal loungewear, you slipped into a nice pair of pants and a simple top, not wanting to be too dressed up, but not too underdressed. Checking yourself over in the mirror, you let out a deep breath, one that you didn’t know you’d been holding in. 

Exiting your room, you decided to sit down at the table, a content smile resting upon your lips. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t excited. Quite honestly, you were looking forward to ogling your handsome boyfriend while the two of you ate, since God knows how long it’d been since you’ve been able to do that. Also, to be a bit more sappy, you were just elated that Shouto had found the time to come home early and eat a proper meal with you. Though you didn’t want to admit it, you often found yourself worried about him, not only because the line of work he was in, but also because you were worried that he wasn’t taking proper care of himself. You could tell that, every night he came home and passed out, that he wasn’t getting enough rest, and, perhaps your eyes had deceived you, but one early morning, around three, you were almost certain you saw him just pound down a packet of espresso. Not mix it with boiling water, no, but just eating straight up powder. So in your mind, you felt justified in your worries about his eating habits. 

Fidgeting with your hands, you looked up at the clock. He was currently ten minutes late. You didn’t worry too much about that, since you knew that Shouto was probably finishing up some last minute paperwork. After all, he did promise that he’d be here tonight.

However, ten minutes soon turned into twenty, and then twenty turned into an hour, then another hour, and another, until the man was three hours late. To say that you were upset would be an understatement: you were angry. This was the fifth time the man blew you off, and those little voices of doubt were starting to come back. Your patience was running thin, and you could only be understanding for so long. 

Deciding to wait just a bit longer, you slumped back into your chair, pulling out your phone to do a bit of mindless scrolling through social media. Unfortunately for you, this was probably the worst decision you could’ve made for yourself. As soon as you opened your app, you were bombarded with pictures of “Pro Hero: Shouto” with a trainee at his agency who was just a bit too close for comfort. Normally, you weren’t the type to get jealous, as you were used to seeing him be fawned over by thousands of girls and boys, but, the way that he was smiling with her, that was what threw you off. 

You hadn’t seen him look so happy in months. Seeing that, some girl could get him to smile like that, but you couldn’t, it wore off the last of your seemingly endless patience. Looking at the comments underneath the photo didn’t help either. Most of them were about how “cute” they would look together, wondering if she’s his secret “girlfriend.” It pissed you off. You were no longer angry, but instead full of seething rage and jealousy.

Rather than hurting what was left of your pride, you stood up, nearly knocking down the chair with how aggressive you were, and began to pack up your dinner. Rummaging through your drawers, you took a Tupperware dish and carelessly tossed the soba in, slamming the lid down once you were done. Afterwards, you started blowing out the candles, which, wasn’t that big of a task, since most of them fizzled out on their own. 

In your own silent fit of rage, you didn’t notice the door opening, revealing your irritatingly attractive boyfriend. Hearing the slams of the cabinets, he winced slightly. Walking towards the kitchen, he peeked his head in, curiosity overtaking his tiredness.

“(Y/N)?”

Now, Shouto wasn’t really fearful of anything, as he’d pretty much seen everything in his line of work. But, when you whipped your head around so fast that he was sure you’d given yourself whiplash, he felt terrified. Not because he was afraid you’d do anything, but because he’d never seen you look so angry and, heartbroken.

“(Y/N),” He repeated, slowly walking towards you, “Are you—“

“Don’t you dare ask me if I’m okay.” 

He stopped in his tracks, unsure of what his next move should be. It probably wasn’t in his best interest if he continued to move towards you, as you looked ready to tear his head off his body, which he had no doubt you could. But he also didn’t want to just stand there and look like a moron, though, it was his current and only plan of action. You didn’t seem to appreciate his silence, as your eyes seemed to glow with frustration.

Was it a bad time to admit how radiant he thought you looked?

“I can’t pretend anymore!” You yelled, throwing your hands up in the air in exasperation.

He blinked, not quite processing things. “Pretend..?”

You pointed a finger at the man, stalking up to him. “I can’t keep pretending that everything’s fine when it’s not!”

Before he could interject, you poked his chest with your index finger, “No! You listen to me now, I’ve given you plenty of opportunities to talk to me.”

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to be with you? I’d like to think that I’m a fairly considerate person, but you’re pushing me past my own perceptions of patience! These past few months you’ve barely said anything to me! The best I get is a ‘good morning,’ or ‘sorry, I’m too tired.’

“For the first few weeks, I could handle it. I knew you probably needed your space, so I did my best to give it to you. But weeks started turning into months, Shouto. Did you ever think of how your shitty distancing would impact me?”

You could see the annoyance welling up in his eyes, but you were too angry to care at this point.

“Don’t think that I don’t see those pictures of you and the trainee, either. I haven’t seen you smile like that in months. At this point, I just need to know if you’re even invested in this relationship anymore?”

Shouto staggered back, as if you hit him. It wasn’t long until his anger rivaled yours, though.

“You can’t just pin this all on me. A relationship is a two person job, you know.”

You honestly felt like you were on fire with how much anger rushed through your body. “I’m aware! I’ve been doing most of the work to keep it afloat!”

He scoffed, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes a bit. “You’re being dramatic, you know I can’t be here all the time, I have a job to—“

“Yes, yes, I know. You have a ‘job to do.’ I just wish you could be a bit more sympathetic to the situation! Or, better yet, make some time for us.”

“What do you expect me to do? Quit working as a hero?” You’d never seen so much contempt in his eyes, how absolutely upset he was.

“Why are you putting words in my mouth? All I want is for you to put some effort into this relationship. You assume that I’m just always going to be here, but I have needs too, you know!”

He sneered, no warmth behind his eyes. “You knew what you were getting into when you decided to date me,”

Just like that, all of the anger had dissipated from your body. With the adrenaline leaving your body, all you felt was how tired you were, how your bones ached, and how much you just wanted to be done with all of this. It felt as though you were just fighting a losing battle, and any shred of fight you had in you had suddenly disappeared. Looking back up at Shouto, you sighed.

“You know what? You’re right, I did know what it meant to date you. Had I known where we’d be now, I’d seriously question whether this was the right decision.”

Side stepping, you pushed away from him, slowly walking towards your shared bedroom. “I’m tired of fighting for us when you obviously don’t care,”

You could hear the small gasp coming from him, but you were too tired to care. You felt drained and all you wanted to do was sleep. Before you could turn the corner, his voice froze you in place:

“That sounds a lot like ‘goodbye.’”

Shrugging your shoulders, you took a steadying breath. “Maybe it is,”

Looking over your shoulder, you let a pitiful smile grace your face.

“Oh, and Shouto?”

His eyes met yours, tears threatening to fall over at any moment.

“Happy anniversary.”

[lunar-jimin]

i don’t want to fall in love, if he won’t be here next year

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: best friends to lovers, fluff, wee bit of angst

Word Count: 3.9k

Rating: pg-13

Warnings: feelings, soft kookie, swearing, kissing

Summary: The universe was evil to make you spend Christmas Eve alone with your best friend who you definitely are not in love with. 

A/N: This is for the lovely @namluve​ through @btswriterscollective​ Secret Santa project! Happy holidays, love! Sorry that it’s at the later end of the posting period, but I hope you enjoy!

“For fuck’s sake Jungkook, can’t you unzip your own damn pants?”

“It’s not my fault they got stuck,” he whined, back arched awkwardly as he attempted to see what he was doing, “and I can’t see it because the zipper is in the fucking back.”

You sigh. The mall had started using Santa suits with the zipper in the back after some curious kid showed off Jimin’s candy cane boxers to the entirety of the shopping center last year. Now, your unfortunate best friend had managed to get the damn thing stuck.

“Move,” you frown, taking the zipper from him. You wiggled it back and forth a couple times before it finally moved down the rest of its track.

“Oh, thank god, I thought I was gonna be stuck in these forever.”

“God, you’re so overdramatic. It’s a wonder you make it through the day without me babying you every step of the way.”

“Hey, that’s not fair. You were the one who almost burnt down the kitchen making ramen.”

You roll your eyes.

“Whatever.”

You continue to strip yourself of your itchy elf dress and the god awful red and white striped tights to match. It takes everything in you not to glance over at Jungkook who is now inevitably just in a muscle tee and tight black underwear.

So what, your best friend was one of the prettier humans to ever grace this planet? You were a grown woman. You had self-control. And you definitely didn’t want him to bend you over this sticky locker room bench and fuck you into the next century. You don’t even need to think about the fact that you were maybe, kinda, sorta, totally, irreversibly in love with him.

“So it’s just you and me tonight, huh?” his voice is less agitated, now that he’s free of his confines.

You snuck a glance and were happy to find him in matching grey sweatpants and sweatshirt. Still deadly hot, but your panties would stay dry. For now.

“Yeah, I suppose. I’m gonna miss our holiday ragers.”

Normally, you would spend Christmas Eve getting black-out drunk with your friends. This year, however, most of them were going home to their families or had started families of their own. Which left you and Jungkook alone with each other for the first time in years.

You were nervous. And you hated that. There was no reason why you should feel like throwing up at the prospect of spending an evening with your best friend. You had done this a million times, why was this time so special? Maybe it’s because you can’t remember the last time you spent more than two hours alone with him.

Ever since Jungkook started dating some girl from his animation class last year, the time the two of you spent together had decreased drastically. You couldn’t blame him, everyone around you was finding themselves in long-term relationships, excited to build a future now that college was almost over. He was just doing the same, and for a while, you thought she would be the one (a thought that left you crying in your bed for a week). You’re embarrassed to admit how pleased you were when Jungkook arrived at your doorstep four months ago, piss drunk at three in the morning to tell you she had cheated on him.

That was the last time you had spent a decent chunk of time and he was either crying or asleep for most of it. But now, here you were, following Jungkook to his beat-up Toyota Corolla, with the intent to spend the night with him. And while he hadn’t shown so much as the slightest hint that he may share your feelings, you couldn’t help but hope.

Three hours later, your nerves have been calmed by the half-a-bottle of wine you’ve downed. Your face is warm, but the spot on your thigh where his hand rests is warmer. Jungkook had convinced you to watch the Holidate despite your better judgment, and now you wanted to bleach your eyes.

“I can’t believe we watched that,” you groan into his shoulder, “I should be able to sue the production company for the two hours of my life that just got wasted.”

Jungkook lets out a buzzed giggle at your complaint, body shaking lightly next to yours.

“It was terrible,” he agreed, “but Seokjin said it was good.”

“Jin has a terrible taste in movies, and you know it.”

“True.”

He turned to look at you, little sparkles in his doe eyes as he gave you the sweetest smile. Your stomach flips.

“So, what do you want to watch?”

“I think you know the answer to that.”

“Do we really have to?”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t love Die Hard just as much as me,” you slap him playfully, “besides, you know you’re going to make me watch Love Actually after this.”

“Whatever.”

“You know it’s true, Kookie. We all know you’re a hoe for Bruce.”

“Am not.”

“If you want to live in denial, who am I to stop you.”

Despite his vehement denial of loving the movie, Jungkook quoted nearly the whole damn thing. If it weren’t for his adorable ‘yippee-ki-yay motherfucker’, you probably would’ve smacked him.

“You didn’t have to quote the entire thing,” you grumble.

“Sorry.”

He looks up at you with his doe eyes and you melt.

“It’s fine, just don’t do it with Love Actually. It’s confusing enough as it is without you talking over it.”

“I won’t, I won’t. Just admit to me you actually love the movie though.”

“I really don’t see the appeal.”

“How can you not see the appeal? It’s a cinematic masterpiece.”

“Yeah, but it’s confusing with all the different stories and I don’t understand British people at all. Also, as a single person, it’s incredibly painful.”

“How is it painful?”

“Because I want someone to fall in love with and cuddle me throughout the holidays.”

“You have me, you know?”

“You know that’s not what I mean, Kookie.”

“What do you mean?”

He’s grinning cheekily, completely aware of how uncomfortable his question makes you. You may be in love with him, but that does not stop you from thinking he’s a little shit sometimes.

“I want, you know, a partner, someone who’ll take me on dates, and kiss me, and do other things.”

“What other things?”

“Jeon Jungkook, you know what I’m talking about.”

Despite being best friends with Jungkook since the pair of you were in pull-ups, you had never felt comfortable talking about sex with him, even before you realized your feelings. You just hadn’t had a lot of experience, limited to a few boyfriends, and the subject wasn’t one you were comfortable with. Luckily, it was a topic Jungkook hadn’t brought up. Until now.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, you just want a holiday fuck buddy.”

You smack his bicep, but don’t respond. Neither does he, simply turning to the screen before him and pressing play.

You’ll never admit it to Jungkook, but you do quite enjoy the movie. Sure it was a little painful to watch a ten-year-old have a more successful love life than yourself, but the storytelling was good. By the time the credits were rolling, you were only a little embarrassed to admit there were a few tears in your eyes.

When you looked over at Jungkook, you were surprised to find a downcast face.

“Is everything alright, Kookie?”

He looks back at you and you were surprised to find tears running down his cheek.

“Oh gosh, Kook, what happened?”

He remains silent, only taking your hand in his, thumb gently rubbing over your skin. His eyes stare down at where your palms meet, and despite your best friend’s apparent distress, you can’t help but notice the warm tingles radiating from his touch. With your free hand, you reach up to brush the tears from his cheek, a pout forming on your lips.

“It’s just,” he sighs, pulling away from you and wiping his eyes, “it’s just, I want it to, you know.”

You tilt your head to the side confused.

“What are you talking about Kook?”

“What you were saying earlier, about the cuddling and dates and shit. I want it too.”

“Oh, Kookie.”

You pull him into, clasping his neck as he buries his nose in your shoulders. You want so badly to tell him that he can have it. He can have all of it and more. With you. But you know now is not the time for confessions.

He pulls his head back to look at you, a twinkle in his eyes that you can’t quite place.

“What is it Kookie?”

He looks down at this lap and then back up at you.

“I don’t want it with just anyone.”

“Well of course not, you’d want it with someone who can love and cherish you just as much as you love and cherish them.”

A dull ache in your heart was beginning to grow. He was so close to being yours, lips only inches away. But yet it seemed a mile still remained between the two of you.

“That’s not what I mean.”

You are once again sent hurling back into confusion.

“Well then what do you mean?”

“I want,” he falters, breathing unsteady like a fish out of water. He grabs your hands again, holding them tightly as if he was afraid you’d slip away. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your mind only just beginning to grasp onto what was happening. Part of you refused to believe, refused to hope, less you were wrong.

“I want you.”

His voice was soft, almost too quiet to hear, but the words were there. You felt your body tense up, shocks running up and down your spine, sirens wailing in your head. You had hoped for this moment for months, no, years, and here you were, and you were totally unsure what to do with yourself.

When you don’t respond, he pulls away and turns to face the TV.

“I’m sorry,” you see him wince in an attempt to stop the tears that are forming in his eyes, “I shouldn’t have said anything. Forget that I ever opened my mouth.”

“Kookie I…”

He turns to look at you and you can’t help yourself. His lips are just as soft as you’d dreamed about during lonely nights. He responds immediately to your kiss, mouth forming against yours as his hands come to cup your jaw softly. Soft glowing warmth radiates throughout you and you are no longer sure whether the tears you feel on your cheeks are his or yours.

You pull away and look into his eyes and at once you recognize the twinkle dancing in them.

Love. Adoration.

He didn’t need to say the words. They were already there. Unspoken. Filling the small space between his body and yours. Radiating throughout the room.

He grabs your waist and swings your body over his so that he is slotted between his thighs. Your hair falls down around you as he stares up at you, his eyes telling you everything you’d ever need to know.

“Will you be mine?”

You nod before leaning down and pecking his lips. You want more than anything in this world to be his.

“I love you, Kookie.”

His eyes go wide, body stiff beneath yours. He slowly lifts a hand up to brush the hair out of your face.

“I love you too.”

A year later, you walk back into the living room with two glasses of wine in your hands to find him down on one knee.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #384

“watch your tongue or have it cut from your head”

Do you post to say happy birthday on other people’s walls? Sometimes. Depends on my mood and the person. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Idr. What’s your favorite television commercial? I don't watch TV enough at all to have one. And who has a favorite commercial, anyway? Do you trip a lot? I don't really trip a lot, but kinda fumble over my footing and stray a bit. I'm horrible at walking straight, and it's gotten worse as my legs have. How old is your television? The one in the living room is god knows how old. My parents were still together when they bought it. When did you last talk on the phone with someone? A couple days ago for my appointment with my psychiatrist. Are you currently sleepy? I'm quite convinced I'm permanently tired. Are you hot or cold natured? I am ALWAYS fucking hot, ugh. Do you take any advanced classes? I took mostly Honors classes in school. Do you have weak upper body strength? My body is just weak as a whole. What is the worst insult someone can call you? Emotionally weak. Are you good at sketching? If we're talking meerkats, haha. They're the only complex thing that I can freehand no problem without needing a reference, honestly. Ever play Angry Birds? Nah. I thought the movie was cute, though. Have you ever been to the zoo before? Yeah. Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? No. Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? It's not something I actively worry about at all. Like, you don't want my identity, I promise. Do you have any talents that come naturally? Growing up, adults always told me I was a "gifted" artist and writer. Also that I seem to have an unnaturally strong connection with animals. I've always been that person where a pet's owner is like "omg ____ never lets people do that" and whatnot. Have you ever had plastic surgery before? I haven't. It's funny though, how opposed to it I used to be... Like goddamn, I was such a fucking stupid and honestly judgmental teenager, regarding many things. I look back on her and cringe. Like damn dude, if you have a safe surgical procedure to help you enjoy the body you're stuck with the rest of your life, you go for it, boo. Are you afraid of airplane rides? Not really. What’s the best Valentine’s Day gift you’ve gotten? There was this one year where Jason had to go to work on Valentine's Day and I was super bummed, yet he still surprised me with a heart-shaped box of chocolates, roses, and a game I really wanted, Heavy Rain. I thought it was the sweetest. What is something you lose often? My phone. ;-; Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? I don't enter any. Do you consider yourself physically active? *chuckles nervously* Do you have Netflix? Yeah. Favorite salad dressing? That Olive Garden replica you can buy at the store. Do you enjoy dancing? Once upon a time I did. My body could never handle it now. Have you ever considered writing a novel? Many times. Snow or sand? Snow, by twenty thousand miles. It is VERY hard for me to walk through sand, and I also hate hate hate hate HATE the sensation. Do you like sour candy? Heeeeeell yeah man. Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what & how? Nothing notable. Are you a clumsy person? Like you would not fucking believe. Last male you talked to in person? I think my primary physician's nurse. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? Pink lemonade, for sure. But I love both. Chocolate or strawberry milk? CHOCOLATE. Strawberry milk is disgusting. Have you ever won a contest on the radio?No. Is there a song that reminds you of your best friend? There's quite a few. Has a book ever made you cry? Yes. Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? Yes, for the time. Do you know anyone who has a pet bunny? Not that I'm aware. What store or website would you most like a gift card for? Rebel's Market. How do you feel about wolves? I adore wolves. Beautiful, majestic creatures with very interesting social dynamics. Name your top 3 favorite musical instruments. Electric guitar, violin, piano. What was the last book(s) you bought at a bookstore? At an actual bookstore, I think it was The Fault In Our Stars, which I never actually read. Do you use Pinterest? Yes. Do you know any sign language? No. Do you have a favorite poem? No. Do you have a dog? No. The one we were pretty much stuck with has a home now. Have you ever read The Little House on the Prairie series? I haven't. Have you ever gone on a service trip to an underprivileged country? No. Have you ever performed in front of more than 100 people? Yes, for dance. When (if ever) was the last time you went to church? Forever ago, I don't even remember the last time. What's a quote you think is really powerful? There's a whole lot. The first one that came to mind was, "An eye for an eye will leave the world blind," which I do believe has great depth in it. Have you ever had to do your laundry at a laundromat? Yes. Are you the oldest person who lives in your household? No. My mom is turning 60 (... I think?) this year. If you have tattoos, how long have you had them? I got my first the day I turned 18. Do you and your dad have similar personalities? We're alike in some ways, imo most notably in that we have NO fucking common sense, embarrassing as that is to admit. We're both kinda slow at understanding things, too. What were the last three things you had to drink? Mountain Lightning, milk, and water. What did your family usually do for Easter when you were a kid? Us three kids all got Easter baskets full of stuff, and we'd go egg-hunting when we were all awake. My little sister Nicole would always wake our parents up in excitement, haha. My parents hid plenty throughout the house, and there was always this one "special" egg that was actually from Mom's childhood and was extremely intricate and beautiful. You basically "won" the hunt if you found it, and it was extremely well-hidden. When you have house guests over, where do they sleep? Historically since living here, my two half-sisters and their spouses (the only people who've stayed over) slept in what is *technically* Mom's room, but for whatever reason this woman still insists on sleeping on the couch in the living room, I guess because she's used to it after all the years she didn't have her own room and bed. Are you emotionally stable? LOLOOLOLOOLLOLOOLOOLOLLOOLOLLLLLLLLLLL Do you still talk to the very first person you had sex with? No. Are you an atheist? No. I don't quite know how to define what I am, but since I believe there's SOME higher power, I don't think it's fitting to call me an atheist. What’s the largest bug you’ve ever found in your house? Hm... I'm unsure. Probably a male mosquito, 'cuz them bitches are big'ins. Would it annoy you if a stranger called you "sweetie?" If it was a man, I'd be creeped out. Are you into fashion design? Not really. What’s the worst thing you’ve gone through in the past year? My leg muscles continuing to degrade, honestly. I have to do something about this shit. How did you get your last bruise? I fell when stepping over the stupid dog gate. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? Yikes, no. Would you rather have some bacon or beef jerky? Bacon. Do you like your orange juice with lots or no pulp? NONE. Do you wear skinny jeans? Back when I wore jeans, they were the only kind I wore. What projects are you doing now for school? I'm outta school. What’s the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I have no idea. Do you like coconut flavored things? No. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? No, thank god. I know someone who might've almost been, though. I don't know what the fucking pig was going to do to her if my sister and I weren't there. Have you ever wished for bigger boobs? No. Being overweight, I just want smaller ones now, haha. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? I've gone many days without it. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four, if you're counting everyone that had the "boyfriend" title. Where were you going the last time you were on a plane? Home from Illinois. Where were you going the last time you were on a train? I've never been on one. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? Holy fuck, yes. You would never guess now that I was perfectly healthy in high school especially, yet I still thought I was kinda fat. It hurts so much to look back on. When growing up, did you parents keep the house very tidy? I mean not excessively, but Mom was pretty dedicated to keeping the house in decent condition. With three kids though, of course the house was somewhat messy with toys and all. When you shop at IKEA, do you always stop to eat a snack/meal in the cafeteria? ... There's a fucking cafeteria in a furniture store? o_o I've never been there before. How many watches do you own? None, save for one in my "treasure box" from when I was a kid. I was SO SO SO obsessed with Finding Nemo that I kept my broken one. I did the same with my horribly aged sneakers, like the soles were coming off and Mom finally made me stop wearing them, ha. Are there any ways in which you greatly differ from everyone else in your family? I do fucking nothing and am useless to society. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? Yes, because emergencies happen. I personally think it's best to maybe have your cell phone flipped over on the corner of your desk or something and on vibrate, that way the noise isn't too disruptive and the teacher can see you're not just using it for other purposes. Do you have any gay relatives? Yes. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Sigh, multiple. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? If so, what was the reason? Not recently. How many cups of coffee do you typically drink per day? None. Do you know what your vocal range is? No, but it's not very broad. What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? I haven't been in this position before. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? I wanna say over a month while we were technically homeless. How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? Oh dear, it was rough. Like there were people who had it worse than me, but ya girl was lookin preeeetty rough lmao.