#because i'm not about spreading ship negativity

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi guys <3

I just wanted to talk about something that's really hit me this morning.

I feel like in the past few months, many people in this fandom have chosen to take a step back from fandom spaces, especially more interactive ones like twitter, tiktok, tumblr, etc. We've had a huge influx of people binding works for profit, sending hate on multiple platforms, and literally chasing people out of the fandom. Just this morning, I watched a tiktok of someone in this fandom reading hateful messages he received, and some of them were literal death threats.

Don't get me wrong- I do not blame a single person for privating their works, removing their creations, or taking a step back from fandom. In fact, I think it's absolutely warranted, and mental health comes first. While I would never delude myself into thinking I am as well-known as some of the people who struggle with these things, I myself have considered taking a break a few times, as it can definitely be overwhelming.

However, fandom is first and foremost and escape for me. I use it as a means of coping with past traumas and current stressors, and I have seen the way it has helped literally thousands of people deal with similar things.

I have to be honest. For years, fandom was a more-taboo community of 'nerds' and 'geeks.' When I was a kid, it was absolutely unheard of to read fanfiction, and I hid in my room for hours reading fanfiction.net, terrified someone would find me. But since it's become more socially acceptable, I feel like hate and judgement has only grown.

But the thing is, so many of you guys are ruining this. The hate you are spreading because you don't like a ship or because you dislike the way a fic has been written or because you, god forbid, hate that a character is written as feminine, is ruining this space for so many people. For god's sake, if you don't like it, don't fucking read it. Don't like Jegulus? Don't read it. Don't like transfem Sirius? Don't read it.

For so many people this is the only safe space.

And I'm gonna be so honest when I say that I need this safe space. This is something that keeps me going and helps me so much. So please, before you send hate, or bash a ship, or say something negative about anyone, remember that this is supposed to be fun. This is supposed to be a safe space. This is supposed to be positive. And you are interacting with PEOPLE. Nobody here is a deity, nobody here is above it all, and nobody here deserves the hate that has been spread. (Except JK Rowling).

Sending love <3

P.s. this is NOT me asking you to go after the people spreading the hate. While I enjoy teasing trolls as much as the next person, sending more hate is not the answer.

[wenellyb]

Bucktommy & The power of positivity

I've seen some people say there was a ship war between Bucktommy and Buddie shippers and "both sides were to blame".

The way I see it, Buddie shippers started sh*tting on Bucktommy shippers the moment Tommy was confirmed as a love interest for Buck and Bucktommy shippers decided to reciprocate by being petty and making fun of some of them (especially the ones who were tagging their hate as "Bucktommy").

But Bucktommy shippers aren't the ones harrassing the cast and the crew and writing nasty comments on the 911 official instagram page.

It might be seen as a "ship war" but one of the groups is not like the other.

Whether you see this whole thing as a ship war or not, what I wanted to say to the Bucktommy fandom is not to fall in the "trap" set by Buddie shippers and be influenced by their penchant for negativity.

We're in a good place right now, and our ship is in a good place and it's one of the reasons why they're so angry, but we have no reason to be as angry as they are.

I'm not sure, of course, but I think that one of the reasons why Buddie never became canon over the past years is because of the behavior of some of the fans who were constantly harrassing the crew members and acting entitled. No showrunner likes that. These extreme stans even drove Oliver Stark off of social media.

On the other hand, we have Tommy who was only supposed to be in 4 episodes and here we have him in 6 episodes, and I think it's due to all the positivity surrounding Lou, Tommy and the Bucktommy ship.

So we should keep up posting about Bucktommy, writing fics, making edits, spreading positivity and try to ignore the negative posts as much as we can (I know it's not always easy) because it seems to work.

It's so easy to fall into the trap of Buddie shippers, because they try to provoke us with the biggest lies, just so they can get a reaction.

We have to remember that the negativity is all they have left.

I've checked some anti-Bucktommy posts and honestly the notes don't even go higher than 20 or 30 notes, so it's really not worth paying attention to it.

We're in a good place right now and we wouldn't want to messs it all up just because we started playing the game some Buddie shippers are playing.

TL:DR: Let's not try to focus to much on the haters: they're hateful because they’re losing. Let's focus on the positivity and keep enjoying Bucktommy!!!

[myfandomrealitea]

okay, so- this is coming from someone who really hasn't engaged in fandom discourse, especially regarding shipping and such. I dearly hope this doesn't come across as bait or troll, I'm genuinely curious and want to learn. apologies for the possibly-dumb question, but I really just need to ask-

what is proshipping? and what are 'antis'?

you know how it is, when you ask around you always get a biased answer one way or another. "proshippers are pedos" "proshippers all condone incest" "proship Bad and if you interact You Are Bad" (i think these are 'anti' points of view? am i using that term right? that's the rhetoric ive mainly heard). but despite all of that, i don't know if ive ever actually gotten a straight answer as to just.. what it factually is. because it doesn't feel like the sort of thing that you can boil down to insults or accusations or whatnot. it's all just very confusing to me, especially because i come from a place that essentially just told me to avoid like the plague and never look back. sorry, this became a bit of a ramble, lol. thank you so much in advance, i hope i'm not being a bother or insulting with this ^^;

The modern term; 'proship' (s.a; 'proshipping' and 'profiction') is an evolution of an earlier fandom acronym known as: 'SALS.'

Ship And Let Ship

SALS was one of the earliest fandom adoptions and interpretations of the concept of not bullying others for what they shipped or their fandom interests, and not trying to control or dictate what was "allowed" to be shipped or enjoyed. The most notable origin of SALS was during the early years of accessible fandom via Star Trek, and the present homophobia and misogyny in a largely male-dominated community.

As woman became more involved in fandom spaces, the presence of 'other' ships and pairings began to increase. M/M, F/F that wasn't purely for sexual gratification, and M/O and F/O (where 'O' is Other) pairings were popular amongst women, much as they still are today.

Not only did the presence of women in a "male space" receive a not insignificantly negative reaction, so too did them filling the fandom space with their shipping content. Now; sexism and misogyny and homophobia were not entirely to blame. Again as is still very much present today, people simply Did Not Like Certain Ships or Characters. And as they still do today, they'd spread hate about them and to the people who did enjoy them.

Thus: the birth of SALS.

(In other words: I like what I like and it has fuck all to do with you. Shut up and move on.)

Back then, SALS was mostly contained to just that. Ships and characters. Since back in that era 'taboo topics' and 'sexual content' were still pretty covert, people weren't exactly arguing the merits of incest in public forums and at conventions.

However, as all things do, the internet evolved. Society evolved. Media evolved. And so too did 'SALS' evolve in keeping with the new culture and subjects present in fandom spaces.

Suddenly it wasn't just ships and characters to be advocated for. It was themes. Subjects. Kinks. Plots. The more things people found to enjoy, so too did the more things people found to hate.

'Proship' is actually grammatically pro-ship. As in; in support of shipping. This is why I always state that the modern conceptions of proshipping would more accurately be coined profiction. It is no longer just about ships, but fiction as a whole.

However; the core value and sole inherent point of being proship, SALS, profiction and so forth remains exactly the same:

[I/We] believe you have no right to harm others over the [ship/content] they create or consume and [I/we] do not have the right to dictate what is or is not allowed in fandom spaces.

That's it. Don't harass people for what they enjoy fictionally. Don't try to force them into not enjoying or being able to enjoy it.

Of course, the modern adaption varies wildly in terms of 'additional values' thanks to the evolution of the term and what it can encompass. However, there is certainly no obligation to:

Create or consume content you are uncomfortable with.

Create or consume content regarded as 'taboo' or 'triggering.' Such as incest.

Be involved with any aforementioned content beyond turning a blind eye if its not your thing.

Inherently, anyone who says they're 'neutral' on the matter but firmly believes in minding their own business is just a proshipper refusing to use the label if you're taking the term solely at its core value.

In terms of 'antis' they're just the antithesis of the above. Antis are people who generally believe that fiction is irrevocably tied in with who you are, what you believe/condone, and that real-life limitations and values should also apply to fiction.

Although, its is heavy debated and it wildly varies per individual to the degree this is taken.

(E.g: some 'antis' believe you should only write rape fic if you are a victim using it as catharsis or education. Other 'antis' believe there's absolutely no excuse or reason to write rape fic at all.)

Antis typically believe that enjoyment or being invested in content which is regarded as harmful or illegal in real life is morally unsound and reflects that you're a bad or morally unsound person.

Although I disagree, I can honestly say in some aspects I do understand this reasoning. I don't agree, but I do understand why people may come to that conclusion.

As with proshippers, antis vary from people who simply ignore and block content they don't agree with to radicals.

'Anti' is again a prefix. Although modern adoption of the term uses it as a singular signifier, it would grammatically be anti-[fandom], anti-[character], ect. As was commonly used in the past.

The rhetoric that all proshippers are pedophiles or support incest is common-spread and effective 'anti' propaganda. Similar to how so many people believe 'proship' inherently signifies that you must create and/or consume taboo or darker content.

It doesn't.

¹ Proship may also be accurately termed as simply: 'anti-harassment.' ² Its important to note the 'definition' of these terms may vary wildly depending on the individual. However, detailed above is the most historical use and evolution of the terms and their definitions.

[weirdtinkerbellversion]

I'll never understand ship wars because my tumblr feed is one post about jegulus, then bartylus, bartylily, jily, prongsfoot, wolfstar, moonwater, rosekiller, and then all the girlies in all their combinations too.... and I eat it all up.

I've been a wolfstar girly since the beginning and while ships that separate my two babies might not always be my favorites, I'm still a whore for some good Sirius and Barty or some Remus and Regulus.

You can have faves without disliking the others. Or you can dislike some of them (I will never, under any circumstance, accept a Severus ship with anybody) and still not hate on people who do. You know what I do when I see a ship with Severus in it?? I make a fake gagging noise and scroll past it, and laugh about it to myself.

The world around us fucking sucks, our realities are shit, and this place is a space we built to either escape from them or to use to process them, so why the fuck are we choosing to create so much negativity in a fandom that has worked hard (and is still working hard) to make itself inclusive to queer folks, disabled folks, etc... Is it perfect? absolutely not. but there's a way to go about things and this ain't it.

So spread some love instead.

[works-of-heart]

A little chat about my art

-wip of a fox Lucien Vanserra (I plan to do a fawn elain too)

Over the course of a week or so, I have been getting harassed by anons who accused me of using AI in my work, and not being a legitimate artist. Most have been very, VERY accusatory and nasty and I was tempted to make an angry post about it then, but instead I just ignored them, deleted their comments and went on with life.

Yesterday morning I woke up to the ask about AI, and while I was fed up with all these sudden asks, the person who asked me was at least kind.

I don't know where the accusations started, I thought it might have been antis, but if I'm real about it, I don't think too many are looking at my stuff, say for the few strays I had in the past. Only one negative, and one quite positive.

I do not know if people understand what kind of accusations like that makes of an artist, but it IS hurtful! If people start spreading lies, people will believe them and with enough people believing them, it starts to look like it's true.

I have NEVER used AI in ANY of my works. EVER.

All of my work has all been done digitally on my tablets, using CSP. I have been drawing digitally for over 20 years. It is fine if you do not like my work, it's totally ok if you think my anime style is ugly or childish, it's alright if you think I'm not a great artist. All of that is fine, I respect everyone's opinion.

What is NOT ok, is saying that I am stealing art. That I am a fake who uses AI and I'm stealing from legitimate artists who put work into it. I've worked for my art all my life, since I was a child, with the only aspiration to share the wonders of my mind with the world. These accusations, these hurtful things cut very deep.

I've been a fan of Acotar since 2020, and in love with Elucien ever since then. When I looked online, I found that most Elucien/Lucien art was buried under mountains of Elriel. There are some amazing artists for Elriel, truly beautiful, but they were eclipsing any that I saw for my ship. The ones I found of Elucien were beautiful! Stunning diamonds that would often get lost under the mountains of fan art for the other ships.

So when I made a blog that would be more focused on my love of Acotar and Elucien, I made a vow to fill the space with Elucien art!

That is all I ever wanted to do. Was to be in a space I can geek out with others who love the ship as much as I do, to make pieces that make everyone feel. I spent hours working on my elucien comics, just because I wanted to share these with you all, to give the feels. I am a comic creator myself, I've been working as one for almost 10 years now, it is my job. So pushing these out are works of love.

This was my mother's day picture. I had 3 separate folders for Elain, Lucien, and their daughter. I worked very, very hard on this picture to get it out by the day, in celebration for mother's day. My work is always a bit rough in the beginning stages, but I promise, I put all the work into it. I've studied from other artists I admire, to put it into my own style, something unique to me. A style that I've drawn since HS and was constantly mocked for, because it's too 'anime' too 'asian' and not western enough. Still, that doesn't matter as long as people enjoy it, and I love what I do.

An elucien wip of a picture that I never finished.

A picture of a Non-Acotar work I did

Some of my work never sees the light of day... because I'm so self conscious about my work, about my art in general. I never think it's good enough, and I struggle with trying to finish them because I want to only put out what I think is worthy of being shown. Sharing my art is so incredibly nerve-wracking for me, the fear of judgment, of never feeling it's good enough. I put my all into my work, my whole heart and soul into them, and though I know I need more practice, but I am trying.

Suffice to say, I've never used any form of AI in my art, I've never stolen anyone's work and claimed it as my own. I have referenced poses every now and then, and painting styles that I've studied, but never have I EVER cheated through any of these pictures.

Had someone had a real concern, coming to me and asking politely would be fine. Thank you to the anon yesterday who was truly kind and showing concern, but I don't know where this started from. If you are concerned a work may be illegitimate, you can always DM the artists and ask them kindly, I am sure they will no doubt be willing to prove their work if only to confirm they're real. Witch hunts where you just deem someone of using AI and spreading rumors and lies does MORE harm to the art community than you think. Artists are already hesitant about uploading their work for fear it will be stolen or used, but claiming they use AI with NO PROOF, and spreading misinformation is not only doing damage and making sure they'll never want to post again, but it impacts the community as a whole.

That being said, I am still going to draw and paint and post my artwork. I have no intention of backing down. I just hope as a community we can do better and be kinder to people who are spending their free time making things and sharing with us all. It's incredibly vulnerable to put yourself out there, and just remember, we are people behind these screens.

[pixelchills]

Listen, you random anon in my inbox. You cannot just mention someone's username and talk about them so negatively while also hiding behind the anonymous mask yourself.

To answer your question: No, I don't hate anyone. I'm completely fine with people not shipping Sun and Moon together. If someone has such an anti sun x moon attitude I don't care. If this person's attitude bothers you so much then block them and move on and stop spreading hate about them just because they don't like the ship you like. It costs nothing to you to just ignore them.

I don't like when Sun and Moon are portrayed as brothers but it doesn't mean that people who do should feel bad about it. Do you think I'd find it nice to have anons spread my name to people's asks boxes with "Do you hate Pixelchills? Sorry I'm just looking for more people who hate them and their stupid non-brother sun and moon propaganda and attitude" (tbh I wouldn't care less but it doesn't seem a very decent thing to do, don't you think?)

"Finding more people who hate this person" tells me so much more about you than this person I apparently should hate.

I don't hate people who don't like the ship. As long as they're not harassing others for shipping them I have zero reason to dislike them and respect their headcanons for the DCAs. But if you're harassing and shit-talking about people for not liking the ship then you're not really any better, sorry.

[thestrangestthlng]

HOLY DOUBLE FUCKING DOWN BATMAN.

"Remember, this is not me backing down or being defensive." "Remember, this is not me apologizing?"

Babes, who are you talking to? Your little fucking friends who are just as problematic as you?

"Just because you were offended doesn't mean you were right."

Be so fucking for real right now. That is not for you to decide. You don't get to determine what is offensive to someone and say they're wrong. You do not get to tell people from communities that what they were offended by wasn't offensive. You do not get to determine whether or not someone else can be offended by your actions.

"I am not the creator of gay stereotypes."

No, you are not, but that doesn't not mean that you have to continue to give them life.

"they created it themselves." Re: stereotypes about queer hookup culture.

You do realize that straight people have a hook up culture, right? We'll get to that. Do you want to know why there are so many negative stereotypes about marginalized communities? I'll tell you. It's because of white supremacy culture and the patriarchy. White people in power made sure the seeds of these negative connotations were spread far and wide. Media creates those biases and creates the stereotype. Would you say the same thing about Black women and the Mammy and Sapphire stereotype? These are stereotypes that are mocked and negatively reinforced in culture for entertainment and oppression.

"Gay men, I'm sorry... [...] my bad, I thought that because gay men can joke about it, I can too."

It's not that you can't joke about it. The fact was it wasn't fucking funny and I will explain to you exactly why. When you are joking abut a marginalized community, or a demographic that you have a position of privilege over (which you do, as a bisexual woman) you have to PUNCH UP for the joke to be funny. You punched down, which made it an attack and not a joke.

"The hook up culture exists in every sexual orientation [...] so what are you even mad for."

It absolutely does exist with every sexual orientation, WHICH IS WHY YOU COULD HAVE LEFT OUT THAT WHOLE FUCKING PARAGRAPH WHERE YOU TALKED ABOUT GAY MEN ONLY BEING ABOUT THAT THING. (And I'm sure that you're not even old enough to get that reference.)

"The word "target" was part of the fun little dialogue I imagined in my head when I was explaining Tommy pov. It wasn't meant to be taken in a fun docu-series kinda way."

Just because it's not how you intended doesn't mean that isn't how it was received. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. You mocking this just really goes to show how ignorant you are.

"I'm bisexual."

Okay, and? The same way a gay man or a lesbian can be biphobic or make biphobic statements or actions, bisexual people can have queerphobic statements or actions. I explained this to you. Internalized phobias are a think too.

"Queer people are not untouchable."

No, they aren't. You can dislike queer characters, I know I dislike PLENTY. You can just be honest with yourself and be like "I don't like him because he's in the way of my ship." You don't have to prove anything you can just say you don't like him. You don't need to justify this, you can just be honest about it.

The problem is that the rhetoric that you are spewing is homophobic in nature. And when gay men and other queer people are telling you that it's offensive, it's offensive. You were explained to in detail why what you said was offensive, reductive, and dangerous. You just don't care. Your little friends are just in your ear backing you up.

Tommy is absolutely just a character. He will never see any of this shit, but people like him, will.

If after this, you still don't understand how you, a bisexual, can be homophobic or make homophonic actions, I don't know what to tell you.

[hobiebrownismygod]

People have the rights to their headcanons

People should feel free to make their own ships without having to worry about randoms coming and spreading negativity about them

Lets talk about Gwiles Haters

So, I'm sure a lot of you have seen the posts under the gwiles and Ghostflower tags where people talk about their opinions on Gwen and Miles' relationship.

Now, these people should feel free to not like Gwiles. They don't have to support the ship and they don't have to be a part of it. Its a headcanon. Gwiles isn't canon, and at this point we don't even know if it will be canon.

But you can't put down other people for enjoying themselves.

I see people writing posts spreading Gwiles negativity and then posting it under the gwiles tag. They talk about how much they hate the relationship and then fill the gwiles tag with their negativity. This is unfair to people who actually like the Ghostflower relationship.

I personally go through the gwiles tag often, because they're my comfort couple and I love them, but recently, I've noticed that the tag is filled to the brim with Gwiles hate. Like a lot of Gwiles hate.

Not only do you have people posting their reasons as to why gwiles is "bad", you have people commenting under gwiles posts and putting down writers and artists for drawing the ship.

Now, you've got to ask the question, why are they even using the Gwiles ship to spread negativity?

Clout.

By writing their negative viewpoints in a tag specifically meant for the positive view of that ship, they're able to gain more interactions, like comments, which spread their posts even further. They're trying to brew up conflict.

Gwen and Miles have their own respective storylines.

Gwen and Miles are their own people.

But that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with shipping them. And it doesn't mean that you can't enjoy their relationship.

Now, if you aren't a gwiles supporter, then feel free to write your own posts and create your own tags. But stop putting other people down for enjoying themselves and stop forcing your views onto others. They're fictional characters.

And whether you like it or not, Gwen and Miles are going to end up together. Its canon in the comics. And its very obvious in the spider verse movies.

[rwbyrg]

How do you stay positive seeing all the negativity we get for shipping this?

I don't typically talk about discourse, but I know this is something pretty much every RG shipper has faced at some point. So I'll make an exception this once. For anyone that doesn't want to hear about it, I strongly encourage you to keep scrolling.

I'm gonna keep it brief(ish) and vague, but content warning for topics of mental health, abuse, general fandom toxicity and ship discourse.

The short answer is that I've had to completely remove myself from large fandom spaces. I left Twitter last fall, I'm not in any big Discords, and I never check the fandom Reddits. I block bullies, bystanders, and bad faith arguers liberally. I mute words and phrases I don't wish to see, I don't engage with the bad faith takes, and I don't go looking in tags much either.

I surround myself with a small group of friends that I enjoy spending time with and can trust. So I still have outlets to be able to geek out without risk of dealing with the wider community's negativity. This blog was also created as a safe outlet to ramble, join together, or spread positivity about the ship. I know how rough it is for us out there - in the RWBY fandom as a whole, as well as within our own RG shipping spaces. So since I can't be an impartial community leader that helps run events or bigger spaces for us like I used to, this is kind of all I have left to offer.

The slightly longer addition that got way out of hand:

I'm not going to say it's not lonely. That I don't miss being part of a more active, wider group of people that we should have every right to join. But despite how hard some of us tried, there was nothing we could do to change the toxicity that is so deeply rooted at the core of this fandom. The fact that I even tried as hard as I did was 1. a trauma response and 2. just ended up with me - and too many of my friends - getting hurt anyway. I can't regret it because it's how I made the friends that are so dear to me now. But none of us should have had to deal with the cyberbullying, harassment, dog-piling, backstabbing, suibaiting, or any of that other garbage to find the group we have today.

It's extremely fucked up. There's no way to sugar coat it. All of it is abuse and is genuinely traumatizing to many people. I am not using these as buzzwords either. Myself and a handful of my rg shipping friends have literally gone to therapy to help us heal from all the things we've experienced in this fandom. So I have it on the authority of multiple psychiatrists, therapists, and social workers that what I am saying here is true.

Rosegarden and its shippers have become the scapegoat of a toxic community. There are big name fans who've staked their entire platforms on the idea of a rival ship being canon. And so, when they see any of us suggesting a Very Likely alternative to their reality (even if we're minding our own business), they become violent and go out of their way to try and defend it. There are entire servers and friend groups built on bullying this ship and its shippers for similar reasons. Anyone that argues against them, no matter how valid their stance, or how articulately its delivered, is going to become a target. Because we are seen as a threat to a system they directly benefit from. If any of them were to acknowledge how unreasonable or ridiculous all of this is, what would that mean for the circumstances and relationships they've built for themselves? It would all fall apart, wouldn't it?

This is why we also see fellow RG shippers invalidating or blaming us for what we go through. Because some of them have become convinced that if they side with the bullies and paint themselves as "not like those shippers", then they'll be "safe". Which as we all know isn't true. Because the antis attack each other for the smallest offences that don't have anything to do with us anyway.

The RWBY fandom is not alone in struggling with this. Fandoms everywhere are seeing these same patterns play out in different ways. A lot of people without as many stakes in the arguments will often scoff or dismiss it on the basis of it being "so serious, when it's just about fictional characters". And to that, I say: bullshit.

First of all, the people on the other side of the screen dealing with all of this are Real People with Real Feelings and their own lives that are already hard enough as it it. And these sorts of environments, as previously mentioned, can and do cause severe harm. Second, none of this hate has anything to do with fictional characters. That is part of the reason why I am still able to enjoy this ship and this show despite everything I've been through here. Because the fictional characters are simply the means to an end. And while that end is different for everyone, for the bullies - by and large - it offers them power in the face of their insecurities.

The only reason this space is as toxic as it is, is because the loudest voices are often the most emotionally immature. All the reasonable people see the infighting going on and know that engaging with it is a pointless waste of energy. As someone that did try to fight it, I truly don't blame any of them for staying uninvolved. But power comes in numbers; so until a large enough group of the reasonable ones come forward, this fandom will only continue on the course it's headed.

I rambled a lot and I'm not even sure how much of this is relevant to your question. If i were to give a tl;dr to answer you, it is this:

You need to curate your own experience by setting boundaries for yourself that cannot easily be crossed by people or content that is going to upset you.

Recognizing the reason people behave the way they do towards all of this has very little, if anything, to do with the show, the ship itself, or the people shipping it is very liberating.

Don't be like how I was. Don't try and force it when it isn't working. If you are in an environment or a habit that you are getting more harm than joy from: leave. It doesn't always feel like it in the moment, but it is better to be alone than to be surrounded by people who suck. And when you shed the ones that don't treat you well, you open yourself up to more like-minded people that will want to be friends with you anyway.

I say this genuinely with only love and support in my heart, but: touch grass. As often as you can, as often as you need to: get offline. Read a book, engage in other hobbies, connect with people in real life, go for a walk or just get outside if you can. When you start connecting with the reality on your side of the screen more, it puts how pointless and absurd so much of this discourse really is into perspective. Moderation is key.

I'm sorry that all of the negativity has got you down. No one wants to acknowledge how much this sort of thing can affect our well being, but I know first hand how bad it can get. None of it is fair. The feelings you're having are valid and aren't anything to be ashamed about. If you have friends or family you can rely on for support, reach out to them when you need it. If you're in a place where you think the help you need is a bit more specialized, you have my support and encouragement in making the call or doing the research to get started. Therapy isn't accessible and doesn't always work for everyone, but it's not the only option. Before I could afford it, I micro-dosed by reading self-help books and following therapists on Instagram, lol.

I'm not sure what else I can say, and have said more than I meant to anyway. But hang in there, you're not alone, and take care of yourself, okay?💕🫂

[lovecolibri]

I feel like oliver is doing this to lead us on bc they won't do buddie anymore bc they replaced it with a cheap version and Ryan doesn't want to be gay on TV and what the fuck am I supposed to do with this info???? How do we take revenge on fox

Okay. Here's the thing. I don't have ANY room for negatively because I'm too busy celebrating being fucking RIGHT. And so normally I would ignore this or try to placate but the thing we are NOT going to do, is put words in Ryan's, namer of the Buddie ship, mouth. I believe he's already played a gay character before in a movie or something? And with Oliver out here flat out saying FOX shut down a storyline "a couple years ago" which is around the shooting that was filmed in Lovers Framing and so romantically coded?? Yeah, I refuse to let people spread misinformation and try and lay this at Ryan's feet when we all Been Knew it was a FOX call.

Also, they literally set Tommy up just like every other LI Buck has had! He falls into something unexpectedly, he makes a mistake off the bat, ye doubles down because his childhood trauma kicks in and he panics about being left. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Tommy is sweet, and might be here for a few more episodes, and might even stick around in some capacity if the audience likes him (Josh as a character eternally looking for love would be an easy way for the show to keep Lou on and accessible if needed), but there is NO WAY Oliver "I'm always careful what I say because I know people will read into it and I don't want to be accused of baiting" is just stringing people along.

I'm absolutely not saying you need to fully board the clown car, I totally get needing to manage your expectations for your own mental health and wellbeing. But in managing your expectations, don't go so far that you suck ALL the joy out of the information out there by catastrophizing worst-case scenarios in order to feel miserable instead of excited. You gotta find some middle ground in there.

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Thought this was a rosekiller/jegulus blog but tbh I'm living for the expansion lmfaoo ermm not to be super gross but since you're covering more characters.... What do u think theyre like? Like ur sex/ual hcs for them ykk you're basically undeafeated when it comes to sex takes

Anyway big fan 👍

I suppose I've mainly talked about rosekiller and a bit of jegulus but this really is an everything that crosses my mind blog!! I wish I'd blabbed about Snape's gang earlier lmaooo

Just know I'm considering making "you're basically undefeated when it comes to sex takes" part of my bio, it's been a while since I've laughed that much (I'm very flattered, thank you anon my beloved). Anyway, I'm not too sure if there are any specific characters you wanna hear anything about but I'll just do a handful and you can ask for anyone I might have missed, alright?

(Please keep in mind that some of these are more ship-based than others vnjfnbjg that's just how my brain works. Also idk if you just wanted to just know about the work but you're also getting the equipment iykwim nvjfnbjgb)

Barty: Around average, somewhat skinny, crooked to the right, uncut, a forest of wispy blonde hairs crawling up to his navel and slightly up his chest, four Jacob's ladder piercings (he's also got his nipples and navel pierced though that's slightly unrelated lol). Ass-wise Barty is concave, he's got negative ass, if you're looking for cake here you're gonna leave starving. Evan frequently complains about Barty's bony ass digging into him when he sits in his lap. The things this dude would do in bed,, whoosh. Let's just get it out there, I'm a bottom Barty truther BUT only when it comes to Evan. I think it took him a good while to get there too but I've already talked about that here! You know that audio of Pimento from Brooklyn99? That's Barty but in the bedroom lmao. I think he would be especially fond of biting, choking, spanking, anything with blood, orgasm denial and semi-public sex where Evan has to do everything he can to keep Barty from revealing their location. I wouldn't go as far as to say Barty's got an oral fixation but he loves to give a sloppy blowjob more than what's considered normal. He also gets incredibly horny when Evan comes home from the gym all sweaty and he’s a sucker for Evan spitting in his mouth. Also this is not necessarily a kink thing but I feel the need to let you guys know that Barty most definitely has given himself a blowjob just because he wanted to see if he could

Evan: Slightly above average, competing with beer cans regarding girth, veiny, uncut, nicely trimmed coarse and curly hairs travelling barely above his navel. For obvious reasons Evan’s kinks are gonna somewhat mirror Barty’s but I do think there’s certain things where it’s different. If Barty wants Evan to get hot and heavy real quick he’s gonna put himself on some medical examination table with all his limbs strapped down and let him hold a knife to his skin so Evan can fantasise about chopping him up while he fucks him or something vcbcjcnv people think Barty’s the truly fucked up one but Evan’s just more quiet about it. He loves watching Barty choke on his cock, pushing the limit on what he can take and I think he gets off on his boyfriend being built like a cotton bud because it means he can see himself through Barty no matter if he’s fucking his throat or his ass. Spanking is a big one for Evan too, he loves seeing colour spread on Barty’s freckly skin and he loves the way his own hand prickles and tingles afterwards. I think to Evan sex is more about exploration of the body than it necessarily is pleasure (at least his own pleasure) so I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the kind of guy who doesn’t get off every time him and Barty gets down to it (I also know some people headcanon him as being on the asexual spectrum and this is my version of that lol)

Regulus: Prominent clit that pokes outwards, outie, curly dark hair that covers just about everything, small but perky breasts (carries the weight of his breasts fairly high on his chest). The fact that I struggled a bit with both Regulus and James is so funny to me cause I’m literally working on a smut fic about them rn. This may or may not end up slightly tainted by that,, oopsie. I don't think about them as much as everyone else actually jvnfjbng. Anyways! I think James and Regulus are one of those couples that think they’re kinky but then you look at rosekiller and they end up looking quite normal. He’s got a thing with making James earn access to his body. Like,, “make me see stars by eating me out and if you’re lucky I’ll let you fuck me” type shit. It’s a lot of vaginal sex with these two but there’s the occasional anal. There’s more of Regulus pegging James though. I think Regulus enjoys putting on a show for James or just like,, a show for himself. He will masturbate on the couch just in time for James to get home in hopes that he’ll catch him. James begging? Huge turn on. I think Regulus is really sensitive and it's not unusual that he gets teary-eyed from his pleasure

James: Around average, above average girth, uncut, somewhat trimmed thick dark brown hairs that reach below his navel. James “Mr Munch” Potter, ah yes. Now that’s a man with an oral fixation right there. Regulus certainly isn’t complaining, he’s finally putting his mouth to good use, but damn. Loves trying new positions even if some of them have earned a slap on the arm from Regulus because it was too stupid. Likes overstimulating Reggie to the point where his thighs quiver and he grins like an idiot whenever he manages to get him to squirt. And it would hardly be James Potter if he didn't have a huge praise kink now would it?? This might also be me furthering my dom-ish Regulus agenda a bit cause I think James would be a sucker for being bossed around a bit.

Igor: Above average (even for his height), girthy, veiny, circumcised, thick black hairs that travel past his navel and up to spread on his chest. I’m going to mention the dreaded nonchalant piss kink that's not really a piss kink but more of like a piss neutrality (he does not seek it out but if someone came to him with it he probably wouldn’t object and also I think he's got this same neutrality with a lot of other kinks actually now that I think about it) and then the real star of the show! Homeboy’s got an insane breeding kink. He’s actually awful. He’d love seeing Charity knocked up but he couldn’t be bothered to actually care for the kid probably. He also likes ripping clothes, like getting to rip a hole in Charity’s panties?? Or just straight up getting to rip them off of her? The pipe would be rumbling at that. I don’t think he’d generally be the kind of guy who goes out of the way to do hard work during sex so positions like lifting his partner (even though he definitely can) are rare. He’s a big fan of doggy style and if he can push his partner into the mattress by the back of their neck while they fuck that’s even better. He’s hit the jackpot if he ever gets woken up via blowjob or if he can just turn around in bed, lift a leg and continue where he left off the day prior.

Aurora: Innie, shaves most of the time save for a thin stripe of hair that travels all the way up her navel (does not shave her body hair in general), above-average breast size (carries the weight of her breasts further down on her chest). I'm still developing her so I might change/add to this at some point, but I think the main thing for Aurora is that she wants to do things "how they're supposed to be done". She's got this vision of what sex is supposed to be and unless her partner introduces her to something else with thorough instruction I think sex is going to be fairly vanilla for her and I don't think she'd care much for it. I think instruction in general is pretty important for her and I think someone more dominating in the bedroom would make a lot of sense for her. I could see her being into lingerie or like,, making herself look nice for her partner. Also, I'm not sure if I see this as like,, a kink, but I do think Aurora appreciates somewhat odd features. It's not just "oh nice tits, great ass" with her, she thinks hands are pretty but she'd also compliment her partner on the way their collarbones look or the way their spine blends into the low of their back. She's giving big observer and I think she gets very quiet during sex outside of like,, sounds of pleasure. I could also see her as someone who'd enjoy those really horny audiobooks/erotic novels etc as a step in her discovery of what she enjoys

Edmund: Slightly below average, medium girth, hooked and slightly crooked to the left, circumcised, completely shaved (possibly waxed) everywhere except his armpits. I think I've mentioned this before but Edmund is the kind of guy who would consider himself to be so much better than everyone else over the fact that he's not into women because he's like,, saving himself and all that stuff but in reality he's just got no understanding of his own sexuality. His dislike of women does not help him either and to say the man struggles when with his wife would be an understatement (they still end up with two kids so you know, he got there in the end but oh boy was it an uphill climb). When it comes to his homosexuality much is left unexplored and he considers a kiss or some handholding (in that context) something he needs to wave his face over. One of his major problems with sex is also that it's messy. He is a shower instantly, strip the bed right after kind of guy. I think he's very slow to explore what he likes as well (I'm still debating whether or not the guy even wanks). He's probably very soft at first and very careful both for his own sake and for his partner's sake. I think he's a big condom user but if he doesn't he's 100% a it goes inside kind of guy because "that contains the mess". He's also oddly aroused by compliments on his slim figure. I've not thought about him in like,, a super sexual context cause I think it takes him a lot to get to a point where he indulges in sex he actually enjoys tho,, maybe I should do some more thinking about him sometime.

I THINK that's all I've got for now but whoosh,, it still took me a few days to figure this out lol. There are definitely some that have more stuff I need to flesh out for some of these characters but yeah njfnjbfgb here you have it. I hope I don't lose my crown of being undefeated when it comes to sex takes jvnfjbng

[ikamigami]

They shippers stepped up their game. Now anyone who tries to discuss concerns about the incest with the big names, even no matter how calm and reasonable and Nonconfrontationally, is immediately accused of harassment, blocked, and targetted for smear campaigns and anon harassment. Also they’re still claiming the gore anons harsssing non-incest-shippers are anti-SolarNexus trying to ruin their reputation.

I see..

You know what, dear anon?

I don't fucking believe them. Those big names. I know how awful they can be and then they try to play the victim.

And honestly. I won't shut up if VAs will hire that stupid you-know-who as a writer..

I swear this shit is annoying as fuck.

They're spewing some bullshitting nonsense about Sun.

Because he abandoned Eclipse when in fact nothing like that happened. And it doesn't give an excuse for Eclipse to act like a bitch.

But I know why are they're writing it like that so they would seem good.. cause you know that they project themselves on Eclipse?

BUT NO ONE FUCKING CARES!!

They had pain looking at my takes on Sun and I was the problem.

But when these folks spew some bullshit no one cares..

I'm not sure if I should be trying to push this topic so maybe someday someone would see that.. and by that I mean Davis.. cause he has an account here..

But I have serious mental issues and I'm sure that if I tried to oppose them just like I previously did.. they're actions will definitely trigger my paranoia and delusions.. and I may spiral once again..

But at the same time.. seeing such a bullshit that shouldn't have any place keeps happening.. it makes my blood boil.. this hypocrisy.. these cliques.. all of this disgusts me..

SHIP WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT BUT DON'T SAY THAT INCEST ISN'T INCEST. DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'RE A'OKAY PERSON WHO ISN'T IN THE WRONG "CAUSE I DON'T SHIP INCEST" WHEN YOU FUCKING DO. YOU SHIP INCEST SO STOP PRETENDING YOU DON'T. IF YOU JUST STOP ACTING LIKE HOLIER THAN THOU MAYBE PEOPLE WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE.

Ofc I don't condone harassment.. but no one would brought up the topic of solarmoon being incest if they just stopped lying..

You know what? Maybe it's selfish of me to say that but I don't want Davis to hire that person also because no one batted an eye when TS, DCTCB and one of the mods (K) were awful towards me. This is also the reason why I dislike another mod (M who makes thumbnails) because they're friends with TS and DCTCB and they never told them anything because apparently I was the problem. And also this stupid thumbnail artist (D).. why the fuck he had to be so passive aggressive towards me as if he tried to tell me something but he had to beat around the bush.. which made my paranoia and delusions worse (he was also wrong about Sun but that's beside the point)..

Ughhhh but ofc Davis had to say that maybe something good will happen to that person.. which may or may not imply that they agree to that damn offer. I am mad.

For me they don't understand characters as much as those mfs say. Though well.. Davis said he likes those analysises.. so it's probably jover 🙄

Yes someone could say that if VAs like them then it's okay and all that.

But it's not okay actually. Because they try to shift the blame on Sun who was also a victim of Eclipse not the other way around, mind you. Because poor Eclipse poo poo who people can talk about constantly and can project themselves on him constantly on Discord and no one gives a damn..

But when I'm comparing my mental struggles with Sun's then it's projection and I should shut up and why I constantly talk about Sun..

This is so fucking annoying..

You know what.. I wish that Davis would say himself that I'm the problem because then I would know that he's just like those TS, DCTCB and their friends.. or that he just believed in this utter bullshitic lies those spread about me..

And now I'm just fucking stuck in assumptions and trying to don't think negatively.. that maybe Davis isn't biased because someone is a friend of someone who he's friends with.. and I'm trying to think positively that VAs just don't know whole truth because they don't have the time to read some stupid crap on Tumblr.. but it's tiring.. especially if you're paranoid and delusional..

I want to enjoy these shows.. but if they're hire A.. then idk.. I'm afraid that it would make the writing for shows worse.. not because they can't write.. but because they don't understand characters.. and what's important for me the most they don't understand Sun..

But hey.. maybe VAs will use their help only for some small stuff.. and A won't write anything actually..

I hope so. That if VAs will hire A they won't be a part of writing team.. but maybe they'll help with minor stuff.

Maybe I'm just too stupid and too optimistic and I have too much hope in VAs.. but idk.. maybe I'm just fucking dumb.. or maybe I'm actually the problem..

I won't use main tags for show cause I'm too afraid that I'll receive harassment.

Some of the things I said here are just me being paranoid.. so please forgive me and don't take it as me thinking that VAs are horrible.. I'm just afraid that they're actually laughing at me behind my back and such..

[kazoo-goddess]

So, I've wanted to make a post like this for some time, but I only just got the motivation because of an ask I got recently. I want to give a piece of advice to everyone, in general, to keep in mind when using any social media platform--advice that I wish someone had given me way back when, that I feel is important to pass on:

Not every post you see is for you. Not every post is about you.

This is not meant to be a negative thing, or a put-down! It is not meant to dismiss anyone. It's really what it says on the tin: When you see a post cross your feed, and you disagree with the post or it upsets you because you disagree with the message it has, try and keep in mind that you may not be the target audience for the post. In particular, take this into account for advice and positivity posts--The OP doesn't have anything against you personally when they share words that are meant to be uplifting that you don't agree with. A post that says "Keep going! You can do it, even if you think you can't!" probably isn't meant to put down people who are in a position where they very literally cannot do it or think their way out of their situations. Like this post, it's more likely that the OP is sharing positivity or advice that they themselves would have liked to hear.

Even this post, the one I'm writing now, might not be for you or about you! If you disagree with my viewpoint, that's okay, and there's nothing wrong with that! But I, personally, am writing this post for people who might need to hear it--people like me, who are easily upset or hurt by things they see or hear in passing, whether on the internet or real life. I'm not writing it because I want to spark an argument, I promise.

Posts aren't always meant to spread outside the OP's original circle of followers and friends. But that's a hazard of posting to public social media websites--a joke originally meant to have an audience of 12 people close to you can suddenly explode, getting thousands and thousands of views and reposts and going completely out of the OP's control overnight! It's no one's fault; it's not done maliciously. Sometimes a post or joke just resonates with others. But maybe it doesn't resonate with you--that really is okay! Just try and remember, if it gets under your skin, that it isn't for you. And if it's not for you, it's okay to just ignore it and move on! It can definitely get annoying when it's something you keep seeing over and over from friends and acquaintances reposting it, and I'd never fault anyone for losing their temper over it--but sometimes, just taking a second to remind yourself that you weren't the audience for something can really help calm you down and help you feel better and move on with your day.

While this goes for advice/positivity posts, it also goes for opinion posts! And in this case, to be completely, perfectly clear: I mean harmless opinions. A ship they like that you don't; a tv show they enjoyed that you didn't; a character they really love that you absolutely cannot stand. The kind of opinion you disagree with so much that makes you feel absolutely steaming mad. (Again: This does NOT extend to these things when they go into a genuinely harmful category. No homophobia, no pedophilia, nothing like that. I am talking about harmless, mundane disagreements.)

Maybe you see a post talking positively about a manga that makes you feel ick. The OP more than likely didn't write that post with the hopes that it would reach you specifically just to make you upset! (And if they did, that's rude, and an entirely different can of worms that this post is not about! >_>;) But the post upsets you anyway, even if it wasn't MEANT to. It's understandable, it happens! But the thing is: You don't need to engage with that post if it makes you feel bad! If you have a post blocker, you can block the post or blacklist the tag; if you don't, you may just have to scroll past. It can be so, so, so tempting to try and get in a biting comment in the replies to snap at the OP and tell them, "No, you're wrong, your opinion makes me mad and I don't want to hear it!" Trust me. I know. I get it, because I've been there! But in the grand scheme of things, it's not worth it or healthy to burn yourself out over it. It wasn't for you, and it wasn't about you! And you're better off doing what you can to take care of yourself, and preserving your health and happiness where you can.

I feel like I'm writing this with sort of childish language, and it might feel like I'm talking down to others. But really, I think I'm just writing it in a way that a younger me would have understood and taken to heart if she'd seen it. I hope that, if you read this, you can see it that way too! There's a part of me that feels scared that this post in itself could explode with notes that will be very upset with me for my thoughts on this, whatever their reasons may be, but I wouldn't be making it if I weren't prepared for that possibility. If the message I intend to get out can reach even one person who it can help, then I think that's worth writing it for. Because, I want to reiterate it one more time, because it can be so easy to forget it and get yourself furious in a self-destructive way, sometimes you have to remember:

Not every post you see is for you! Not every post is about you!

[aelinfireheartgalathynius]

The discourse about Sarah J Maas being called a Zionist is giving witch hunt vibes at this point. Nothing I've seen has been conclusive at all. Just because she's a Jewish woman who went on birthright doesn't mean you should loudly denounce her as supporting genocide.

I am a Jewish woman who is pro-Palestine — so, not a Zionist — but who loves her Jewish diaspora culture. I have anti-zionist and non-zionist Jewish friends who went on Birthright because it's a free trip abroad. I know Jewish people who are staunch Israel supporters and I have Jewish friends going to pro-Palestine protests. Jews are not all one thing, and in fact it's ingrained in our culture that we have NEVER been one thing. There are Jews of all races, of all levels of religious belief, across the political and socioeconomic spectrum, scattered across the world.

If I were a semi-public figure (I say semi because Sarah has been clear that she is not the one posting on her public accounts and she doesn't have much interaction with fans outside of tours) people would probably have loud assumptions about me being a Zionist because I am publicly Jewish, I was a Jewish Studies minor in college, and I used to work at a synagogue. Guess what? I'm not a Zionist. I donate to UNWRA monthly, I do my clicks for Palestine, and I do my best to support with what I have. As a multi-disabled person that's all I can handle right now. If I were a semi-public figure I don't know if I would feel comfortable posting anything publicly either, because people are vicious and terrifying creatures. Sarah has a husband and child. She had gotten threats about fucking ship wars. This is so much more intense than ship wars.

Making these loud assumptions and calling for boycotting SJM, commenting on her social posts even though she isn't the one reading those comments — this is what antisemitism looks like. I know those of you who are angry at Sarah won't want to hear that, or will say that 'everything is antisemitic now' — which is a refrain that should raise red flags since it's the same argument other people use about transphobia, homophobia, racism, etc. You're the good guys, you support Palestine and you're anti-genocide and so on. But using stereotypes about an ethnic group to make assumptions and harass an individual of that ethnic group is not a good look even if you're convinced you're doing it for a good reason. Take that energy and put it toward spreading awareness, contacting politicians, attending protests, maybe even sharing messages from public figures who have posted publicly.

I understand that a lot of non-Jews (and a small number of Jews) are saying that it "has nothing to do" with Sarah being Jewish, it's just that she hasn't "used her platform." I implore you to consider why you are seeing and sharing such anger toward this one (fairly private) Jewish woman and not toward other prominent authors, especially those who are more active online, who have also not spoken out. Do some soul-searching and many of you may find that because Sarah is Jewish, you feel that she owes you a public stance more than other people. Because she is Jewish you feel confident enough to make an assumption about her views and post publicly about these assumptions. That is antisemitism at work. That is why this feels like a witch hunt to me, and why it is upsetting to watch.

As a reminder, I am pro-Palestine. I am not posting this to defend anyone. I am posting this to remind everyone that Jews are not all Zionists. Jews are not all one thing, ever. And deciding you get to hand down judgement on a Jewish person who has not shared their views publicly is antisemitism. It is deciding that you can assume negative things about Jewish people from afar. It is deciding that some antisemitism is actually okay — good, even, if you think it's warranted. I understand that people have other qualms with her writing, but those are not tied to her Jewishness, they're tied to her doing things like using the name Illyria and Illyrians for her ACOTAR series, etc, which is the kind of thing other fantasy authors have done over the years. Doesn't make it good or right but it certainly doesn't have anything to do with Palestine or Zionism.

If you disagree with me, please do not send hatred into my inbox. I am asking you to interact with this post thoughtfully. If your disagreement is going to be an explanation of how Jewish people owe the world every ounce of our energy, health, safety and lives, please step away and take a breath. I do not share your opinion. I have great admiration for those risking life and limb, risking jobs, risking arrest, to support Palestine. However, not everyone should be *required* to do all of those things, especially if you're disproportionately expecting those larger actions from Jews, thinking we "owe" it to the world.

Also, I want to be clear: This is not really about whether Sarah is a Zionist. It's about the fact that we don't know, and you cannot pretend to know. Most of the arguments I'm seeing are making a lot of assumptions, and that is the part that makes me uncomfortable.

If Sarah ends up being a Zionist, I still stand by this post, because it isn't about defending Sarah, it's about my hurt and disappointment in seeing people make assumptions rooted in antisemitism, assuming someone's views based on Jewishness and little else.

[theeeveetamer]

On Loving Thy Neighbor: A long term fan’s perspective

Recent discussion in the tags has gotten me thinking about love, life, and the dynamic of human interaction. And it all brings me back to the same conclusion: fandom, like all things in life, requires a deft touch and an appreciation of nuance.

While it would be easy, even wonderful, if we could all just be kind to each other and have that kindness returned, anyone who has been part of fandom—a part of life in general—knows that it is often not that simple.

Bringing kindness to someone who seeks only to inflict pain on you is not only ineffective, it’s completely masochistic. We understand this when it applies to other areas of life. The solution to queerphobia isn’t “be nicer to the queerphobes” and the solution to sexism isn’t “be nicer to the sexists”. The solution is to tell them to get bent, because they aren’t welcome in the vibrant, beautiful, kind communities we hope to build if they are going to meet us with vitriol and hate. Attempting to placate a queerphobe while building a queer-positive society is like arguing that it’s fine if you just leave just one house in the neighborhood constantly on fire.

Fire does not care about your boundaries. It will spread to the other houses eventually whether you like it or not—whether you intend to let it or not—because that is the nature of fire.

Why, then, do we protect toxic actors in fandom? Why do we wave off a handful of death threats as the same thing as a handful of character or ship opinions? Why do we continue allowing people to wave that kind of behavior off? Why do we think it’s okay to keep the fire?

Simply put, it’s because it takes much less effort to assume "everyone was bad". Figuring out the nuance of a situation is hard; telling everyone to be nicer is easy.

And there the problem lies. There are many situations in which being a little kinder to each other could help. I'm not discounting that. There are also situations where doing so is masochistic and enabling toxicity. Enabled toxicity will never disappear, or quiet. It will only grow. Like fire, there is nothing you can offer it that will stop it from spreading. Pleading with it and offering it sticks to placate it won't stop it from gobbling up your house eventually.

Knowing the difference is where the solution lies. But some people don’t want to do the work to pick apart the nuance of a situation, so they tell you (no matter the context), to just shut up and be nicer. Got death threats against you? Well you said something negative about their favorite character, and you pointing out that they sent you death threats makes them feel bad. See, you both feel bad! So clearly you both must have done something wrong! So maybe you should have just been nicer.

It doesn't matter if your opinions were properly tagged, or if you censored the character's name, or if it was on a blog hidden from searches, or if it was something you sent in a DM one time that got spread around without your knowledge, or if the person who sent you the threats is someone you blocked months ago who shouldn't have been able to see it anyway. You should have anticipated that someone, somewhere in the world, might see it and get mad enough to send you death threats. Take responsibility. Be nicer next time.

If the fire spreads to your house? Well, you shouldn’t have built it so close. You knew the fire was there. It’s your problem. You deal with it.

It rings hollow. “If you were just nicer to your abuser, maybe they wouldn’t have to keep hitting you. Maybe we would all be getting along if you would just shut up about it already.”

No one ever stops to question why the fire is there in the first place, or why people are so desperate to cling to it, or what purpose it could possibly serve when all it ever does is burn down houses.

A harasser, like a fire, is not satisfied with bullying one person, or burning down one house. They will consume everything until nothing is left or they have been put out (sanctioned and excommunicated).

When you claim to take no sides in a situation like this, or you claim both sides are equally bad, you are siding with the toxic actor. You are feeding your fellow fans to the fire in the hopes that you won't be next. You will always be next.

And if there's only a handful of people in your community willing to pick up a bucket and try to fight the fire, while everyone else shrugs and says "just don't build your house too close"? The firefighters will leave, because they know they can't fight it alone, and they know it won't stop, and who wants to live in a house constantly at risk of going up like a tinderbox?

And then, one day, everyone who shrugged and stayed will turn around and wonder why their town is nothing but ashes and cinders. And they will have no one to blame but themselves.

The world only works off of "be kinder" logic if you assume everyone's goal is to get along. The sad truth is, there are always some fires, and their definition of "getting along" includes destruction and pain incompatible with kindness.

I think the only people who truly believe the core of the problem is that everyone "isn't kind enough" are so used to sitting in a burning house that they can no longer smell the smoke.

[serenfloras]

kuja pirate luffy aka "son boy allowed" headcanons because i'm always correct and also autistic

• luffy's official position on the crew was lookout because if he doesn't sit on a ship's figurehead he will Die

• the figurehead are the two snakes they have names but luffy calls them "moon" and "cake". no one knows which one is which but they have gotten attached to him already

• salome did too

• he knows weird facts about bugs AND snakes now. autism wins

• since hancock is a shichibukai, no matter how many times she avoids the government sometimes she had to meet them. luffy would either (1) hide in the kitchen or (2) just stay there. vibing. both options he was eating something

• he grew his hair out during his time there and answered to the fake name "helia" which was also how he managed to just stay there vibing

• daisy gave him a haircut before he left the crew

• some rumors spread about hancock being a lesbian thanks to how close she was to her lookout but no one was brave enough to ask the pirate empress about it. many women cheered though

• do not even speak ill of portgas d. ace if you don't want a bunch of haki snake master women coming for you ass in a negative way

• two giant snake women are coming your way and that is if you're lucky. the other option is getting mero-mero mellowed by hancock and then having your stone statue be broken in tiny little pieces

• luffy gained a gold two-headed snake bracelet that he wears even after rejoining the straw hats. it's a friendship bracelet!

• he has a variant of the perfume femur called aurora femur where he basically focuses more on haki and the fire he can conjure and kicks people around. when he did it for the first time he got excited because he and sanji now had matching attacks

• once the straw hats reunite he helps nami with her hair. listen hancock's hair routine is flawless and no doubt she taught luffy about it too

• one would think luffy is stinky but it turns out he smells like spring. living with people who really value beauty + he is brazilian means at some point he'd develop a sense for good hygiene. he still needs help with some of his fashion choices though

• he developed snakeman while with the kuja its a tribute to them, in particular sandersonia and marigold who helped him most in combat training aside from hancock herself

• luffy can wield a spear now he just opts not to because punching is easier

• luffy @ margaret after she joined the kuja: remember whenever you're losing against a man kick him in the balls