#because the story represents the experience of both quite well

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

Feel free to ignore if this is unwelcome, but have you ever thought about publishing traditionally to sublimate your income and draw in new readers? I know you've self published two books already and that you didn't feel like they did very well, but maybe the experience would be different if someone else was in charge of marketing and all the other business stuff?

Obviously everyone's experience is different but as an author myself who's published both trad and self, traditional publishing has been a completely different experience and has allowed me to focus more on writing because I'm not the one responsible for advertising/marketing/financing anymore.

There are a ton of literary agents nowadays that want to represent diverse and lgbtqia+ fiction, some of them even in Australia.

Websites like Reedsy, AgentQuery and Jerichowriters have extensive directories to find literary agents.

(This is lengthy folks so I'm putting the other two parts (and my response) under a read more! Also putting it under a read more so the anon can skip my response since it's very 'here's all the reasons I can't do this' and they just might not want to read that, lmao)

(continued -> )

Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.

Obviously most authors, unless they're really prolific, don't get a huge advance (the average is between $1000 - $5000) but getting your foot in the door or on the traditional publishing "ladder' so to speak can have a huge benefit for your serials. Because it gives you more exposure. Plus it's in the agent's best interest to find a publishing house that accepts stories that contain darker themes and negotiate the best deal for you.

For some reason places like Amazon and the like accept and keep up more "dark" books that are traditionally published than they do with self pub ones. Maybe because they have more respect or leniency for publishing houses? I have no idea. But you could use this to your advantage. I think I remember you mentioning that writing novels felt quite isolating to you? But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.

You already have a loyal readership and that's very attractive to trad pub houses and agents.

As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance. It could be just a landing page that says something about you and then has links to your tumblr and patreon where you're more active. That way you increase the chances of getting your serials found by additional readers and also come across looking more "professional". Not that you're not professional now. You are and I admire you greatly, but the unfortunate reality is a lot of people still judge by appearances and some will be more drawn to an author's website than a tumblr page, at least at first. So I think having a simple landing page would open up another door for you to benefit from.

Trad publishing is work but definitely not as much as self publishing, and you can continue on with your serials. Getting an agent can be time consuming but I personally believe the pros outweigh the cons and I also believe that your stories would be a huge treasure to the growing lgbtqia+ market. Seriously there needs to be more!

These are just suggestions and thoughts and like I said before, feel free to ignore. But I know you've mentioned wanting to grow your career in the past and I genuinely believe you can do so with some of these pathways.

~

Okay, my response. Posting this because firstly I think the suggestions could work very well for other authors reading this! And I hope they take the advice to note, and secondly because I haven't talked about this for a hot minute so let's talk about it again.

So the TL;DR is yes I have considered traditional publishing. I have actually been traditionally published in short stories, poetry, and also had my art published on covers and re: interior illustrations. But my Fae Tales works got soundly rejected when I sent them to publishing houses that were doing open calls for that sort of material. I've never heard back from an agent and I never expect to, heh.

~

Now for a bit more detail

I have been traditionally published before (it's how I got my writing out there long before I ever wrote serials), and yes, I have approached publishers with my writing since then. In fact Tradewinds was written for the traditional publishing market, and it got soundly rejected, and then shelved. The reasons it was rejected ran the gamut from 'I don't like that these fae eat humans no one is going to relate to these people' (while the editor then went on to publish vampire books idk) to 'There's too much worldbuilding you can't expect readers to keep up with this' to 'Your stories are too long, no one wants to read characters talking all the time.'

Meanwhile in my online serials I was getting feedback like 'my favourite chapters are the ones where the characters just sit in a room and talk' lol.

The traditional publishing world is also not quite as utopian for most authors as you make it seem. I'm friends with a lot of authors who are traditionally published because that's the world I came from, and unless they're solely in KU and doing generic rapid release formula romances, none of them are making that much money. Certainly not enough to live off. It may have been that you were very fortunate, anon, but I know hundreds more traditionally published authors that left trad pub to make money, and I know about 5 in trad pub personally who are making enough to live off of.

Only one of those is really writing what she truly loves to write, and even then, publishing houses have refused to commit to her entire fantasy series (and she's regularly in 'Top 10/20 Women Fantasy Authors in the World' lists) and forced her to finish the series prematurely. Something I never ever have to worry about in self pub.

The reality is that in trad pub these days, you're still in charge of most of your marketing unless you're one of the big earners for the publishing house. In fact I'd be expected to keep even more of a social media and marketing presence than I do now. I don't do almost any of the things you're supposed to do as an author in marketing to be appealing. I don't have a Facebook author account. I don't have an Instagram author account. I don't maintain or regularly send out newsletters (which automatically puts me in the like 0.05% of authors who make money doing this lmao).

I don't know if you ever have looked that closely into what m/m publishing houses expect from most of their authors, but the newsletter swaps, cover releases, review circuits, interview circuits and more are fucking grueling. We're expected to be responsible for our advertising and our marketing to a fairly massive degree. Some traditionally published in m/m still have to pay for their release blitzes out of pocket. These publishing houses, by and large, do not offer advances. You say most authors don't get large advances. I don't think most authors in this arena get offered advances at all unless they're somehow miraculously acquired by a Big 4.

We're expected to have an already established social media presence because of that (that's why it's so appealing to publishers that we have social media presences already, anon, so we can market, they can save money, and we still see only a minimal cut from the royalties).

And you still have to focus on your finances, because publishing houses like Dreamspinner straight up didn't pay a whole bunch of authors for so long they destroyed careers. They still haven't paid some of their authors. And they're still running a business and people still buy their books.

Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.

This is true if a) they're a big publishing house and not an indie publisher of which most LGBTQIA+ publishing houses are and b) they're willing to use them on you.

The authors that make the most money get the most resources. If they believe you're going to earn back your advance and move thousands or tens of thousands of units per book, then yes, you will get those resources.

I have been told so many times now - even from friends who run publishing houses, including one who works at HarperCollins - that my work will never be mainstream enough to have broad appeal. They literally told me not to keep trying re: trad pub, because that was my dream for a long time. These folks have given me rock solid advice in the past, it's one of the reasons I'm doing so well now via Patreon + Ream. But they were like (paraphrasing) 'you don't write 60-80k romances and you don't want to and that's not your strength anyway, you're multi-genre which makes you hard to market, you write psychological and literary trauma recovery which is hard to market, you write character studies which are hard to market, publishing houses often don't commit to series anymore if the first two don't move units and if they pulled the plug you'd be contractually obliged to never finish that series until your contract was up.' I could go on, but it was like yeah...actually. Fair.

For some reason places like Amazon and the like accept and keep up more "dark" books that are traditionally published than they do with self pub ones. Maybe because they have more respect or leniency for publishing houses?

They do, but most publishing houses want very formulaic dark romance which is not what I write.

I have a 300k omegaverse slowburn that still hasn't had any penetrative sex in it, anon. Publishing houses don't want that. They don't expect anyone will wait 4 full length novels to get to literally a single penetrative sex scene.

But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.

If I rewrote them to my liking, trad pub wouldn't want them. They'd be too long! I think agents etc. take one look at me and go 'oh god, no thank you!' I'm not an easy sell, by any means.

Plus I'm very e.e about all of that with the knowledge that they then give me only about 10-15% of the royalties on the sales, vs. self-pub where I get around 70%, or subscription where I around 80% of it. When someone subscribes to me, they don't have to worry about 85-90% of their subscription fee going to a publishing house. I don't have to think about how many thousands and thousands of books I'd have to sell to make the same amount that I do now via subscription.

As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance.

If it was that simple, I'd be doing it. I don't mean this in a facetious way, I mean it in a: I've made a lot of websites, in fact I run one at the moment not connected to my writing (I've been running it for so long it's now in its 20s and can probably has a driver's license). I find it so tedious that I barely remember to check in on it. But forgetting about it means there's always maintenance to keep up with when I get back to it.

Running websites is simpler than it used to be, but it's still not simple. There's hosting and hosting costs, there's server changes, there's back-end maintenance etc. I'm considering it for down the track, but there's a reason I decided to go the route of Patreon over my own site. There are authors (like Christopher Hopper) who actually do subscription through their own domain, but it's a lot of work.

Even placeholder sites are still work. They need updating, details change, story titles changing etc. Maintaining my Patreon + Ream About pages is enough, they're always both a little out of date, lol.

Not that you're not professional now.

Oh no, I mean from a 'traditional publisher looking at me to see what kind of candidate I am' I'm really not though. Like I said, I don't have the newsletter (100 subscribers who get one newsletter a year is not really a newsletter), I don't have the Facebook/Tiktok/Insta/Twitter/Bluesky/Threads accounts, etc. I write multi-genre across multiple steam levels, and I'm allergic to writing serials shorter than 150k. One of my best performing original serials was an 800k contemporary story with no sex in it but a lot of BDSM. It can't be marketed as clean or sweet, it's not high steam, an entire chapter is 'boy saves snail from rain.' Also he was cruel to animals, so not exactly what I'd call a sympathetic main.

And yet that story did so well for me via Patreon + Ream, because people want the kinds of stories that publishing houses generally don't want and I happen to be writing them.

Trad publishing is work but definitely not as much as self publishing, and you can continue on with your serials. Getting an agent can be time consuming but I personally believe the pros outweigh the cons and I also believe that your stories would be a huge treasure to the growing lgbtqia+ market. Seriously there needs to be more!

Anon I just literally do not believe an agent would want to represent me. I have 0% belief in that. Not from a self-deprecating angle but from a 'I am not a good bet for the trad market' perspective. From a 'I have so many friends who are trad pubbed authors who stare at me like I'm insane for writing serials as long as I do' perspective. From a 'professionals in the industry have told me it's amazing I'm doing so well in serials because there's no way they'd take a risk on what I'm doing' perspective. From a 'just because it's queer and diverse doesn't mean it hits literally any other thing a trad pub is looking for' perspective. I've been doing this for 10 years. There are agents who represent work similar to mine who know what I'm doing and wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole. They're not missing out on a trick, they know I'm not broad appeal, and they're right.

Also the only way I'd have the energy to manage trad pub is by quitting serials. And honestly, I never found trad pub all that much fun while I was doing it for non-novel stuff. It was fine, and it is nice to have my stuff out there, but it was a ton of admin and a lot of going back and forth between people who really only care about marketing a product, and that's great and what they excel at! But I'm too disabled to turn this job into something crushing just to potentially make more money, I'd rather just quit and go back onto a full Disability Pension. I can't see any way I still get to write the stories I want to write, in the way that I write them, and be remotely appealing to a single reputable trad pub or agent.

Also *gestures to everything in this article*

[burningfudge]

Ultimates (2024) #1

OHMYGODDD Ultimates #1 was fantastic! I have so many thoughts that I had to turn it into a post lol.

Poor Steve 😂 I'm very interested to see Steve's journey, though, because he's now the captain of a country that doesn't exist. How is he going to navigate that? I'm also looking forward to Steve and Tony's dynamic in this universe because Tony's a kid, which changes things a lot. He's a kid with the burden of the world on his shoulders, trying to undo everything that the Maker did, and Steve knows that as well. Plus, if they know about all the events on Earth-616, they also know about Civil War. I hope it's brought into the conversation soon.

NOOO IS CAROL DEAD?? MY GIRL This is brutal as a Captain Marvel and Hawkeye fan. Spider-Man is thriving for now (surprising, I know), but Carol is probably dead, and Clint has given up being Hawkeye. But even Spider-Man was near rejection as Peter was thinking about giving up until his daughter convinced him to be Spider-Man. The Maker really fucked up this universe, huh. I'd love for a certain archer to find the uniform and take up the Hawkeye mantle and then Clint to get inspired by Kate in this universe. I think it'd be a fun twist, especially since Tony also mentioned that they can find near-perfect substitutes. He eventually realized his mistake later on the issue, but I really do think Kate could have a big role to play.

Hehe, a fun little wink to Tony eventually becoming Kang the Conquerer.

This version of Tony is so interesting to me because he’s a kid, and making him the center of all this works very well because of it, especially his relationships with Reed and Steve. Reed is more pragmatic and cold, while Steve is idealistic, and seeing both of them influence Tony is fantastic. Tony himself is more idealistic than his 616 version because he’s much younger. Steve grounds the two and makes Tony and Reed understand that whatever they're doing isn't an experiment but a revolution.

While I love all the other characters, the standout in this issue for me was Hank Pym, which I didn't expect. He knows what kind of person he turned to be on Earth-616 and he doesn't want to turn out that way. I think that's a very compelling story arc.

Ahh, I love this. What Steve says is right; Hank can choose to be different. It's also interesting if we compare Peter and Hank because, in Ultimate Spider-Man, we're told that Peter always felt that something was missing from his life, and then he learned the truth about what the Maker did and became Spider-Man, which fulfilled his life. On the other hand, Hank was happy running an extermination business with his wife. (How Janet went from rich heiress to this is also something I'm wondering). Hank was happy, but now he's being told he was supposed to become Ant-Man, create Ultron, and hit his wife, whom he loves more than anything. I felt bad for him, honestly.

616 Tony should say this to his father, too lol. But this part is probably my favorite part of the issue because of the insight it gives us into Tony's mind, who is the center of the new Ultimate universe. As I've mentioned many times, Tony is a teenager in a world run by fascists, a world that his father was complicit in making. He's angry at Howard, but he also loves him. I think an argument could be made about Tony representing today's generation that's also dealing with the effects of (poor) decisions made by our parents and grandparents, and feeling the anger from it. "It's quite a mess you made, Dad. And now we have to clean it up. What choice do we have?" "If there's any hope of fixing things...it won't be enough to be as good as the heroes of that simpler world. We'll have to be better. I don't know what that looks like yet. But we're going to figure it out." "You were the smartest man in the world. You should've known better. And that is failure.”

[gh-0-stcup]

One thing that does bug me a little with discussions of Willow is the disregard for the very common queer experience of believing you are straight.

You can absolutely mistake strong feelings of closeness and aesthetic attraction for sexual desire/love. Especially when you're living in a society with very little awareness or acceptance for queer people and you've never been with someone you're actually attracted to before.

You've got a lot of people around you talking vaguely about love and sexual desire and very few examples of queer people that relate to you personally. You don't really know what you're supposed to be feeling, only that it's supposed to be directed at the opposite sex.

It's all flipped around. Like, you assume that what you feel when you see pretty girls in magazines in the same thing the girls around you are describing when they talk about how gorgeous xyz model is.

You assume that the closeness you have with your boy friends (and/or boyfriends if you end up having them) is the same as what the other girls are describing when they have a crush.

When you picture your future and don't see a husband and 2.5 kids, but growing old with your bff in a cute lil farmhouse or living in a spare bedroom and being the cool auntie to their kids after bestie's husband tragically passes away? That's just you being quirky and independent. Not wanting boy drama mucking up your life. Being a spinster sounds like so much fun.

And then you go to college and you "experiment". Your lips touch a woman's for the first time and it's a revelation. Oh, that's how this is supposed to feel.

This is very much a real experience. It's happened to people in their 60s who have been married for half their lives. It could absolutely happen to a 19 year old.

[writingwithcolor]

Sri Lankan Fairies and Senegalese Goddesses: Mixing Mythology as a Mixed Creator

[Note: this archive ask was submitted before the Masterpost rules took effect in 2023. The ask has been abridged for clarity.]

@reydjarinkenobi asked:

Hi, I’m half Sri Lankan/half white Australian, second gen immigrant though my mum moved when she was a kid. My main character for my story is a mixed demigod/fae. [...] Her bio mum is essentially a Scottish/Sri Lankan fairy and her other bio mum (goddess) is a goddess of my own creation, Nettamaar, who’s name is derived from [...] Wolof words [...]. The community of mages that she presided over is from the South Eastern region of Senegal [...] In the beginning years of European imperialism, the goddess basically protected them through magic and by blessing a set of triplets effectively cutting them off from the outside world for a few centuries [...] I was unable to find a goddess that fit the story I wanted to tell [...] and also couldn’t find much information on the internet for local gods, which is why I have created my own. I know that the gods in Hinduism do sort of fit into [the story] but my Sri Lankan side is Christian and I don’t feel comfortable representing the Hindu gods in the way that I will be this goddess [...]. I wanted to know if any aspect of the community’s history is problematic as well as if I should continue looking further to try and find an African deity that matched my narrative needs? I was also worried that having a mixed main character who’s specifically half black would present problems as I can’t truly understand the black experience. I plan on getting mixed and black sensitivity readers once I finish my drafts [...] I do take jabs at white supremacy and imperialism and I I am planning to reflect my feelings of growing up not immersed in your own culture and feeling overwhelmed with what you don’t know when you get older [...]. I’m sorry for the long ask but I don’t really have anyone to talk to about writing and I’m quite worried about my story coming across as insensitive or problematic because of cultural history that I am not educated enough in.

Reconciliation Requires Research

First off: how close is this world’s history to our own, omitting the magic? If you’re aiming for it to be essentially parallel, I would keep in mind that Senegal was affected by the spread of Islam before the Europeans arrived, and most people there are Muslim, albeit with Wolof and other influences. 

About your Scottish/Sri Lankan fairy character: I’ll point you to this previous post on Magical humanoid worldbuilding, Desi fairies as well as this previous post on Characterization for South Asian-coded characters for some of our commentary on South Asian ‘fae’. Since she is also Scottish, the concept can tie back to the Celtic ideas of the fae.

However, reconciliation of both sides of her background can be tricky. Do you plan on including specific Sri Lankan mythos into her heritage? I would tread carefully with it, if you plan to do so. Not every polytheistic culture will have similar analogues that you can pull from.

To put it plainly, if you’re worried about not knowing enough of the cultural histories, seek out people who have those backgrounds and talk to them about it. Do your research thoroughly: find resources that come from those cultures and read carefully about the mythos that you plan to incorporate. Look for specificity when you reach out to sensitivity readers and try to find sources that go beyond a surface-level analysis of the cultures you’re looking to portray. 

~ Abhaya

I see you are drawing on Gaelic lore for your storytelling. Abhaya has given you good links to discussions we’ve had at WWC and the potential blindspots in assuming, relative to monotheistic religions like Christianity, that all polytheistic and pluralistic lore is similar to Gaelic folklore. Fae are one kind of folklore. There are many others. Consider:

Is it compatible? Are Fae compatible with the Senegalese folklore you are utilizing? 

Is it specific? What ethnic/religious groups in Senegal are you drawing from? 

Is it suitable? Are there more appropriate cultures for the type of lore you wish to create?

Remember, Senegalese is a national designation, not an ethnic one, and certainly not a designation that will inform you with respect to religious traditions. But more importantly:

...Research Requires Reconciliation

My question is why choose Senegal when your own heritage offers so much room for exploration? This isn’t to say I believe a half Sri-Lankan person shouldn’t utilize Senegalese folklore in their coding or vice-versa, but, to put it bluntly, you don’t seem very comfortable with your heritage. Religions can change, but not everything cultural changes when this happens. I think your relationship with your mother’s side’s culture offers valuable insight to how to tackle the above, and I’ll explain why.  

I myself am biracial and bicultural, and I had to know a lot about my own background before I was confident using other cultures in my writing. I had to understand my own identity—what elements from my background I wished to prioritize and what I wished to jettison. Only then was I able to think about how my work would resonate with a person from the relevant background, what to be mindful of, and where my blindspots would interfere. 

I echo Abhaya’s recommendation for much, much more research, but also include my own personal recommendation for greater self-exploration. I strongly believe the better one knows oneself, the better they can create. It is presumptuous for me to assume, but your ask’s phrasing, the outlined plot and its themes all convey a lack of confidence in your mixed identity that may interfere with confidence when researching and world-building. I’m not saying give up on this story, but if anxiety on respectful representation is a large barrier for you at the moment, this story may be a good candidate for a personal project to keep to yourself until you feel more ready.

(See similar asker concerns here: Running Commentary: What is “ok to do” in Mixed-Culture Supernatural Fiction, here: Representing Biracial Black South American Experiences and here: Am I fetishizing my Japanese character?)

- Marika.

Start More Freely with Easy Mode

Question: Why not make a complete high-fantasy universe, with no need of establishing clear real-world parallels in the text? It gives you plenty of leg room to incorporate pluralistic, multicultural mythos + folklore into the same story without excessive sweating about historically accurate worldbuilding.

It's not a *foolproof* method; even subtly coded multicultural fantasy societies like Avatar or the Grishaverse exhibit certain harmful tropes. I also don't know if you are aiming for low vs high fantasy, or the degree of your reliance on real world culture / religion / identity cues.

But don't you think it's far easier for this fantasy project to not have the additional burden of historical accuracy in the worldbuilding? Not only because I agree with Mod Marika that perhaps you seem hesitant about the identity aspect, but because your WIP idea can include themes of othering and cultural belonging (and yes, even jabs at supremacist institutions) in an original fantasy universe too. I don't think I would mind if I saw a couple of cultural markers of a Mughal Era India-inspired society without getting a full rundown of their agricultural practices, social conventions and tax systems, lol.

Mod Abhaya has provided a few good resources about what *not* to do when drawing heavily from cultural coding. With that at hand, I don't think your project should be a problem if you simply make it an alternate universe like Etheria (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power), Inys (The Priory of the Orange Tree) or Earthsea (the Earthsea series, Ursula K. Le Guin). Mind you, we can trace the analogues to each universe, but there is a lot of freedom to maneuver as you wish when incorporating identities in original fantasy. And of course, multiple sensitivity readers are a must! Wishing you the best for the project.

- Mod Mimi

[funky-astrologer]

The Yod Aspect

“finger of god”

This is a response to a post I was tagged in asking about this particular aspect formation, and is quite long, I have highlighted the most important parts.

Commonly known as the "finger of god" aspect, this particular aspect is traditionally formed when two planets form a sextile to one another and then each a quincunx to a third planet.

In this case Chiron in Scorpio at 16 degrees in the 6th house, sextile the North Node in Virgo at 13 degrees in the 4th house, with both of them forming a quincunx to Saturn in Aries at 14 degrees in the 11th house.

Consider first the nature of the two aspects -- a sextile is seen as easy, yet it doesn't always manifest itself simply because it is too easy. It is subtle and not prone to going out of its way to make a statement or leave an imprint. The quincunx on the other hand -- a 150-degree aspect combining two energies that seemingly have very little in common seeks to remedy this by presenting these energies together anyway.

For example, Aries and Virgo or Aries and Scorpio.

*Consider opposite signs (Aries & Libra) and look to the two conjoining signs of each one to find a quincunx sign for the other.

A quincunx is uncomfy, plain and simple. It is strain and burdensome when you don't realize what is happening. I have my Mars and Pluto quincunx and I do not like it very much at times. It causes me to overwork myself to the point of no avail almost. The answer is usually do nothing and wait for something. Doesn't mean you shouldn't make any effort at all, but rather the effort will show up at some point anyway whether you are consciously aware or not. Be patient and reserve your energy with the quincunx.

Chiron and North Node are two energies concerned with growth and evolution. They are about learning from experience, whereas Saturn is about building upon that experience. Any efforts made in the areas of life governing the 4th, 6th and 11th house will be brought into unique manifestation in the house of Saturn--which is the 11th house here, and a very prominent house for manifestation. These efforts may come in a most simple way through the 4th and 6th (these freakin' sextiles am I right?), yet will not manifest in a way that can be engineered or made to happen like many manifestations stories would have you think.

The sextile provides an easier time helping things along, but the involvement with the quincunx--and by default, the yod aspect, indicates that no mater how simple things can be--they are not always intended to be that way.

Being intentional is so important, it is so simple yet so profound. @Plantop-14 This yod aspect requires you to be intentional in your manifestations. Sure, some of them may be simple and you can have really beneficial results and benefits--but that isn't really the point nor the gift of this aspect.

Imagine a seesaw, okay now imagine two people on one side and one person on the other side. Whatever happens--all are involved. The two on the same side--are on the same side. They are literally working in tandem. The third person on the other side is the one who may be left feeling the most frustrated--this person represented by Saturn. It may be tiring at times and frustrating to keep going, and keep making an effort--but that is the point. Make the effort, and be intentional, don't try to make things easy just because you can. Otherwise, this third person is gonna be like f*ck you guys--I'll do whatever I want. Then what? Well then the sextile is no longer working in tandem--it isn't working at all. And things that should be easy, will in fact be harder. By being intentional about life plans, goals and making a genuine effort at things that come easy, you grow in a way that Saturn respects, and when you gain the respect of Saturn--through work and persistence, you will be rewarded with the "finger of god" in all your endeavors.

I hope this makes sense, and I hope it helps a bit. I wanted to go into specifics, but I'll save that for another time. The yod is powerful and carries potential meant to be utilized intentionally as if you were the god of these planets and energies.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I welcome feedback, @plantop-14 thank you for reaching out and tagging me. <3

@astrolovecosmoscosmos @astrroloaries @crystalsenergy @elysiansparadise @exalted222 @gg-astrology @helianthus-tarot

@hausofneptune @harmoonix @kms-astro

@katiifaetarot @kalki-tarot @libbee @leoascendente @moonseyeastrology @mercurianchild @nymphia-tarot @nayatarot777 @neptunes-sol-angel @occultic-luna @p1utofairy @psychelis-new @rxmxa @rebeltarot @saylessastrology @theoccultz @witchthewriter @youthnighttarot

Your friendly, funky-astrologer -S.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi, kinda random, but I could really use some advice. I really wanna write a qpr but feel like I dunno much about it- uh- so yeah! Just wanting to ask how I should do it- like, how do I do it?? How do I represent this while being accurate and respectful?? I know the theory but like addhhbbkjt

Sorry if I am being weird I dont really know how to phrase this Q_Q

...OK so this is gonna sound funny (or not) but... I've been toying with the idea of developing a story involving a fictional QPR as well recently and... I have no idea how to go about it either. Despite being in one!! I actually have trouble explaining what a QPR means to most people honestly TwT

But I'll do my best to give a few pointers from my experience:

Needless to say, kinda, but a QPR is NOT a romantic relationship. It may LOOK like it on paper but I guess the way I see it, there's a lot less... Grandiosity and possessiveness than with romance. It's a lot more chill, I guess I could say. It's not like "this person is my whole life and I would die without them" or something, it's more like "this person is pretty great to experience life with and it'd be pretty cool if this lasted as long as we both vibe."

A QPR is NOT inferior to a romantic relationship NOR is it superior to a friendship, in my opinion. I see no scale of value of the sort. Each of these things are their own thing is all.

Considering it's quite the particular situation, no two QPRs will be the same, I think. So you can at least rest easy considering there can be quite a lot of variety in this type of relationship.

What I mean by that is, not everybody who's in a QPR will be comfortable will the same things. For example my partner and I may give each other lip pecks (never any tongue), but it took us years to be comfortable with the idea, and it doesn't necessarily mean everybody in a QPR will be at ease with that. And conversely other people in a QPR may be comfortable with a level of intimacy we may not be comfortable with.

What that implies is, in my experience at least, a QPR means a LOT of communication. My partner and I constantly have heart-to-hearts about what works or what doesn't for us, and are both aware some things may change over time.

As an aromantic, I value being in a QPR deeply because it responds to some issues that I think a lot of fellow aromantics probably face: the first is needing human connection, like any person, but having to struggle with the fact that you'll always come second after your friends' romantic partners and kids (if they have any), and the fear of abandonment that comes with that; the second is wanting human contact and affection, like any person, but having to worry that if you seek affection from or give affection to a person, they'll catch romantic or sexual feelings for you and it'll turn ugly for you, kinda. Being in a QPR responds to both those needs while negating these fears. If I ever wrote a fictional QPR personally, I think that last point would be what I would wanna emphasize the most, in my own voice. Because it's so key.

As usual I suck at being succinct and all, but I hope these were helpful! TwT And I hope nothing I said here misrepresented other people in QPRs out there

[sharonisthebettercarter]

billy butcher and addiction--

felt there's a need for a good and proper analysis for this fucker (as well as i can manage, maybe throw in a bit of a rant on poor fandom etiquette, 'three laws of fandom' are an oldie but a goodie lol) so here we go i guess--

i wanna start by saying this is a full scope character deep dive (sortaish?? best i can do take it or leave it--lol i might go further in depth on specific scenes or whatnot later, i'm longwinded but i'm tryin' to condense as best i can for this, aaaaaaaaaaand long long post ahead--) that def includes elements solidly confirmed in dear becky and probably leans more on comics billy overall, but def does intertwine and interlock with show billy (as they are essentially the same, garth ennis' own words went something like 'he's a perfect billy butcher' lol)

i'll try to avoid spoilers (??) for the most part like dear becky, but there are some things that may need more context (there is quite a bit of in the show that works well enough to represent anyway but i guess we'll see how this goes, i may end up talking more about the show elements and how they parallel with comics billy anyway)

i also think it's worth mentioning that there's a lot to billy (especially in the comic) i feel fandom either ignores, dismisses or doesn't want to acknowledge, or just doesn't notice.

whether from personal bias/prejudice, desire (fitting billy into that 'alpha's alpha' toxic masculinity 'dom top' fever dream 'mold' so to speak, probably--no, definitely the *worst* way to interpret and easiest way bungle up his character, it completely misses the fact that billy has built *that* 'daddy approved' version of himself as a *facade* to *hide* his own shame and insecurity, and he is *so* much more complex than that nonsense (and genuinely uncomfortable and unhappy being that way-beyond the subtle guilt of a constant high). can we talk about the ways in which fandoms promote and perpetuate toxic masculinity--what, no time we'll be here all week?? oh, okay. jesus fucking christ that is exactly as bad if not worse than the maga chud interpretation and unironic worship of homelander--), lack of personal experience/familiarity, understanding--fuck it, even lack of education in media analysis or reading comprehension (if not both), and *especially* being pro-censorship/americentric/*stuck* with purity culture blinders (or even some part of them lingering)

all of those can def make media (and characters like billy) that isn't 'cookie cutter america-approved' fairly difficult to understand or accept (i guess??)

i've seen so much listed to hell and back in attempts to describe comics billy. 'he's a piece of shit' *YES*. 'he's just wish fulfillment for the author's hatred of superheroes' *no*??? let me not get into the complete hypocrisy of someone who writes or enjoys fanfic--the epitome of *wish fulfilment*--unironically complaining about other authors doing this and thinking it's a legit complaint. how does *anyone* read the entire story and come to *that* conclusion???

did you even bother reading the comic? no, i don't mean glossing over it with a completely closed mind while actively ignoring and dismissing everything important put in front of you and designed to make you think because the blood and guts or other is too distracting apparently, i mean *actually* reading it thoroughly and making an effort to think about what's being presented and why, waiting for the drop *instead* of jumping to judge (as is the american way)

and to some degree, i get it. i wouldn't say this comic is the easiest to digest (especially if completely unfamiliar with many of the themes presented, even the show has sparked some ass takes and interpretations) there's also plenty of common misconceptions, one in particular about garth ennis 'hating' superheroes. this is actually not true, what he hates is how the superhero *genre* has bottlenecked the comics industry and what is more likely to see success in it (and as a fellow creative, i completely understand how frustrating that would be, his main interest is actually war stories)

it's def one thing to say, 'nah, i don't vibe with the style' or 'it's not really for me/my taste but it's fine if others like it', i get that, satire and horror aren't for everyone. honest critique is fair even.

but it is a whole 'nother thing entirely to pretend your own personal tastes are *the only 'correct' creative law* and then *vehemently* oppose or hate something an artist created and denounce, harass, or fuck--dehumanize the people who enjoy it, if not the artists who work(ed) on it.

i'm sorry, this is a tangent cause it's def not limited to the hate the boys comics or ennis gets *at all*, it's especially prevalent in *literal* kids media like teen titans go where the thing in question is simply put--*NOT MADE FOR THE SHITHEADS NONSTOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT* when they can literally, *LITERALLY* just *accept* that they weren't the *target audience* and move the fuck on with their day, happy as can be. *instead* of shitting on something *or the people who like it* to make literal *children* or other people feel bad about liking it.

it's one thing to try and educate people or have discourse and discussion, it is another entirely to *bully* them over something so *stupid* as *fiction*.

i especially have a problem with this shit when i have *several* artists tell me that they don't feel *safe* or *welcome* being themselves, liking or creating what *they* want to make in a fandom *because* of the fandom attitude and normalization of *hate* within that fandom.

i *thought* fandoms were supposed to be about *love* so what the fuck is this human tribalist false dichotomy bullshit??

and of course, that's not always the case. there is also an unbelievable level of respect that is given to fanartists and fanfiction writers, and that is *beautiful*. 'don't like, don't read'. *PERFECT*. curate your own content, complain or rant in your own spaces--you're entitled to an opinion, but *accept* that it still has a right to exist and other people still have a right to love it (and aren't wrong for that, opinions cannot be objective), *even if you don't like it*. just don't engage then, it's that simple.

now extend that level of courtesy to the people, artists and writers in the industry.

no, i'm not trying to shut down criticism of media, proper critique is how we learn and grow and understand better and in turn *create* better. yes, they can fumble the fucking bag too, especially when adapting something from a source material and--like *some* fanfic writers out there--think they can do it 'way better'.

but the people in the industry? who bend over backwards, going on strike in some cases, breaking their necks to work on and create the things that we *love* and latch onto?

they're people too. and whether the thing they make goes *exactly* how we want or not, however you feel about the money in the entertainment industry (which they see barely a dime of if those fucking strikes and constant mistreatment are any indication), they don't deserve to be treated like scabs.

that mentality of 'not my personal taste = universally bad' and 'anyone who disagrees with my opinion is wrong' is fucking gross and *extremely elitist*, just straight up announcing how pretentious, obtuse, willfully arrogant and ignorant, and *lacking in self awareness*--the number one easiest way to be the *shittiest* kind of artist/writer/critic--you are. it is *exactly* like cishet white men complaining about something being 'bad' because it's 'woke' or has anything *besides* a cishet white man for the protagonist.

*god forbid something isn't tailor made specifically for them.*

swear to gawd, i got a list of different bullshit and circle jerking i've seen all across different fandoms for different reasons. no i'm not mad at any one person in particular, just a little salty from recurring problems and gatekeeping (ghoulfucking-GHOULFUCKING OF ALL THINGS I--I CANNOT) if not straight up bullying (does it really make a bitch feel *so* much better to try and hurt other people for liking what they, and let's be honest, are not willing to give the time of day?) in fandoms. (the complete audacity of people to complain about a media being 'childish' or 'bad' because 'insert nonsensical trivial bullshit here that holds no weight because it's personal taste if not flat out wrong and not actual critique' and then turn around and throw the biggest fucking tantrums about it--let me not get into the whole sharon carter debacle jesus christ--)

same shit. different pile.

also, fuck me. i keep *forgetting* that genuinely valid critique (*not* personal taste/opinion, proper critique pertains to things like techniques used, composition, narrative consistency and plot holes, goals of the artist/writer, accomplishments of those goals, etc.) is something that needs proper education and understanding all on its own which not a whole ton of people get or even know, which just goes to show--i'm a dumbass too. (but i won't deny that plenty of 'critics' are full of shit and *know* this but use their 'personal taste' as 'critique' *anyway* because... they enjoy being complete assholes and discouraging other artists i guess.)

y'all, take a class or two in art critique and literature analysis. you'll learn all the cool lingo (to later forget if you're like me~), and maybe (hopefully) walk out with a bit more of an open mind wanting to encourage more art in the world, even if you don't personally like it. take a moment to *listen* to differing opinions in their *entirety* and you might even gain a new perspective.

*no one* should be ashamed to ask questions or admit they don't know or understand something and fuck the people that would make you feel that way. *we can and should help each other.*

but stagnant or hostile fandoms with no self awareness and perpetuated elitism circle jerks? *really* fucking shameful, regardless of the form or where they are.

ANYWHO--

ugh, fuck. okay. i think i'm done with that tangent, back on topic--

BILLY BEAN~<3

and i want to reiterate that *again*, dear becky *does* confirm pretty much everything i'm going to discuss here tho technically speaking, nothing is spoiled here as it's just reiterating what is implicit (if not stated outright) throughout the series.

as far as dear becky goes, it's a good final gut-wrenching piece to the series and i loved it, but it definitely leaned on more of 'tell' instead of 'show, don't tell' (no duh in context, but probably because the rest of the comic did the 'show'--very well imo but it still flew over peoples' heads and made them misplace their brains--i'm sorry, i've just lost so much patience for the lack of reading comprehension and media literacy, but honestly? ennis is genuinely too good at knowing how to spark a strong emotional reaction in readers. and can we talk about the dense mofos that *make* authors have to 'tell' just to confirm something that is heavily implied--what, no time? oh, fuck, fine.)

OKAY--

addiction.

what about it, and why am i mentioning it. well. because if it's not clear by now, william butcher is an addict.

and it is one of, if not the core element that drives him to do what he does.

not becky or becca. not justice.

addiction.

and i don't mean traditional substance abuse (though he admits there has been as much in his life, especially with alcohol, his drug of choice is a bit more complex and maybe not so easy to spot on the surface for those unfamiliar with addiction).

in the show, we even see him mention that he's 'done 'em all' and there's *nothing* like temp v--and it's because temp v *amplifies* his *addiction* to the highest level it could exist on.

something else to note, there's a ton of stigma and widespread (ableist) misconception surrounding addiction still (which may be part of why people may not want to recognize it in billy), but it is absolutely a clinical mental disorder and people who suffer from it should be treated as *medical patients*, not reduced to violent criminals and scumbags. (fuck you drug war and prohibition, you are the root of organized crime and you're racist as shit.) it's also possible to become addicted to *anything*. and i mean *anything*.

if you can repeat a behavior and your brain no longer cares whether or not that behavior is causing you harm because there is a *compulsive* urge for that *repetition* or a specific result from it? that is addiction. money, anger, pain, violence, self harm, attention, love...

you'd think the last one might be okay, but it's not. it's an easy way to get caught in the infinite loop of an abusive relationship, just with promise of it. no delivery necessary.

but it doesn't have to be drugs that cause addiction. hell, gambling addiction is a thing all it's own that can get *incredibly* severe.

and listen, too much of *anything* can be horrible for you. fucking coconut will give you the runs if you eat too much that shit is *not* fun pun intended--

i digress.

in billy's case? he's actually addicted to two i just listed.

violence. and self harm.

i mentioned before that what drives billy has next to nothing to do with what happened to becky or becca.

there's a common misconception that, at the end of the day, billy does have some level of good intent behind his actions, and to a degree this is true in the *complete reverse* of what people often assume, and this is proven repeatedly in both the show (with just what we have seen) and comic (where its laid out too heavily to ignore).

setting aside the fact that there's *never* a good 'rEaSoN' to commit or even attempt *genocide* (EVER. i have ZERO patience for the constant apologism of this bullshit, SWEAR TO GAWD FANDUMB--) and billy's genocidal tendencies on their own, the idea that 'he goes after homelander for becca' or 'justice' has been completely debunked.

'justice is not vengeance'

something to always keep in mind.

but... in the first season? hughie called him out on this.

butcher calls him a 'disgrace to robin's memory', and hughie--bless his little heart, responds with 'i think i'm doing this *for* her.'

it's an interesting response, because hughie is essentially saying--

'you'll *die* for this woman, but that's not what she would have wanted. i'm going to *live* for robin, and for *annie*, because *that's* what she would have wanted.'

and he's absolutely right. billy loved becca, would have died for her. but he refuses to listen and *live* for her.

the group therapist too even before hughie. she literally laid it all out, front and center in the clearest way possible, 'it's a defense mechanism', and then butcher had his little meltdown just before telling hughie about becca, everything he can, including *using* other peoples tragedies and his own *specifically* to manipulate hughie and try and make sure *starlight* can't *save* him from what butcher is trying to turn him into.

*so that hughie stays stuck on his reason to die, instead of finding one to live.*

in the second season, *becca* herself calls him out on this, multiple times.

'you put me on this pedestal but i never knew how to save you'.

'--i didn't come to you, i went to vought--.'

and that's just it, becca (and becky in the comic) is *intimately* familiar with billy's *addiction* and the underlying mental health issues he *wouldn't address*. she didn't tell him what happened even after the shock of it because she *knew* that it would just become a reason for billy to *give in* and be his worst self to a degree where she would *lose him* regardless of what she felt or asked for from him.

she felt she had to *suffer in silence* to *protect him* from *himself*, something that ends up *destroying* her.

becca wanted to *save* billy, but more importantly, she wanted *him* to *save himself* because she *believed in him*, *so much*.

'i never wanted that for you.'

she doesn't want billy to drown and suffer or cause harm in his own hatred and addictions. she *loved* him so much so, that she was willing to *drown herself* if it meant she could save *him*. she loved him *too much*.

billy's mum too, even tries to help in her own way. (she is much less aware of billy's activity in the comic, but we'll come back to her. for the show, this was likely in response to seeing the news about *stillwell*, something his dad fucking *praised* him for)

'--that he wouldn't have this hold on you--'

billy's actions are almost entirely driven by the *addiction* his father forced on him. on doing the things that would make his 'daddy' *proud*. and the thing is, he's *fully aware* of this.

he constantly *says* that *becca* is his 'reason', that she was his *cure*, but she's the *excuse*. his *new addiction* and *self medication* (also billy, you fucking cunt you *know* what you do and have no leg to stand on when it comes to self medicating--)

both in the worst of what he does and his rejection of addressing his own traumas, and she is *unwilling* in this endeavor. she never wanted this hate to consume him, she never wanted all of this death with her name as the signature, *she never wanted billy to be his father*, much less be something much worse.

he even admits as much in the third season when he hallucinates lenny who tells him his actions would 'break becca's heart'

billy responds something along the lines of 'becca's dead, it doesn't matter what she thinks'. (a line presented in the comic even more harshly, but it drives the point home perfectly.)

when he sees lenny again in his nightmare--

'i'm not that bastard--.'

'come off it billy, you always have been. cause anyone who's ever loved you, you end up gettin' 'em killed, don't ya--.'

'--the last person on god's green earth tryin' to stop you from bein' a monster, and what do you do? drag him down to your level... when he dies... and he will... then no can stop you.'

OOF OUCH OWIE--. the lenny stuff hits so damn hard but it represents *perfectly* what butcher's own *internalized beliefs* are.

mallory calls him out on it literally every season.

'--but billy! not the others!'

'it's like asking a cockroach to not be a cockroach--'

'--because it wouldn't stop with just homelander--'

'this was never about ryan or becca, it was always selfish. the hate inside that you want to let loose on the world.'

'--i was wrong... you are your father, always have been...'

and then there's billy's subsequent impulsive reaction to push ryan away, and *be his father*.

but hell, even in gen v when mallory is speaking to shetty.

and truthfully, billy was even showing *withdrawal* symptoms at the beginning of the third season.

billy himself, even *self punishes*, picking fights he knows he *won't* win as a way to counterbalance *and* satisfy his own addiction, infinite loop. vicious cycle.. (ooh i will def be coming back to the big one here--), and we see this in one *HUGE* way, and in many many smaller ways, but even in the more literal sense of going to bars, starting trouble, and laughing or smiling when he's getting beat the fuck up or *losing*.

it's even highlighted in the show, billy *seeking out violence* and conflict whether he should or not, *especially* when unnecessary. getting his own face busted up and smiling because of it is something that happens multiple times in the comic (even on accident in one instance), and is def given a place in the show. it's easy to pass off as billy simply being a masochist (which is def true lmao he does admit as much), but there's also more to it than that and it goes hand in hand with his *addiction* and--

what he thinks he deserves.

billy *hates himself* so *severely* that he actually *does not believe* that he is capable of the *good* that others, such as lenny, becca, his mum, and hughie are willing to *see* in him. he *completely* believes it when others say that 'he is his father' (internalizes it, struggles with it, and frequently acts on it).

he puts on a show. bravado, posture, and 'confidence'. and he's so good at putting on that front, that he can fool himself, even for a moment. and those that believe it will even *enable* him. and the people he feels *nothing* for? again, he maintains the front. he lives his life *masking*, *faking it*--so fucking hard. homelander could never--

and it's not even necessarily the result of toxic masculinity. don't get me wrong, he def has some issues with that lingering (y'all, if you have *say* you're an 'alpha' and posture out your sweet little ass off 24/7, you're def *not* an 'alpha' lmfao), but it's more so his own *trauma* that forces him to *cling* to that.

but when he *loves*, and he loves *deeply*, he completely rolls over and shows his belly like a kitten<3... when he was with becky, he was happy and comfortable, and all of that *ridiculousness* just melted away completely... he didn't feel any need for it because he felt *safe*, because this constant *insecurity* and feeling of being *threatened* all the damn time looming overhead had suddenly cleared up with becky there.

it's not even so much that billy doesn't feel fear. he might not traditionally (at all if his amygdala is damaged), but considering the fight or flight response, billy's *default* setting literally *is* that *fight* response. he's the way he is because he is *always* afraid and he's been conditioned for it to manifest itself as *rage*.

we see bits of his love come through in a few moments he has with people he has genuine care for. (the way he loves his mum and she instantly calms him down is genuinely so sweet.)

but it's always gonna come back down to 'daddy dearest'.

because of him, *billy is afraid of living*.

and--

his father. *is proud of him*.

billy is *just like him* or *everything he wanted to be* as a *man*, or at least is compelled to *project* this on the surface. and everything in *billy* that *is* his father, *just like him*, is *everything* that billy *hates*. so it manifests into an *intense* self loathing and spiraled addiction that magnifies the worst of what his father *forced* on him.

he *doesn't want* to be *his father*, but he feels, and fully believes that *he already is*. his self hatred is another form of *hating his father*, because *he is that man's legacy*.

so *billy* doesn't *believe* that he deserves love or goodness or care from other people (a parallel we see in homelander, presented a bit differently.) so he 'doesn't care'. makes excuses to not care (about people in general, if not just the very *prominent* antisocial tendencies), or leave, or push them away, lashing out to give *them* the excuse to leave him, because he is *afraid* and in his own mind, *unworthy*.

he's *afraid* of being loved, of *losing* that love, of *hurting* those he loves. he is *afraid* of being his own father.

but it's all he's ever known, all he's ever been *conditioned* to be. intoxicated, ever present, it's this terrible thing that destroys him but he *can't* stop. *addiction*.

and what better way to protect those he loves than to keep himself as *far* away from them as possible? than to *make* them hate him. than to do the *wrong* thing, to *disappoint* them. self sabotage. self punishment.

he can't stop himself. he deserves it.

lather, rinse, repeat.

so what does that mean for homelander, or even the reason he goes after homelander? the *real* reason.

'there must be *some* good in him because homelander 'must be' this 'ultimate evil that *must* be stopped', right?

not really. he's a symptom of a much greater evil, but he was never the root of it. if billy really wanted to solve the problems at hand and get *justice*, he'd go after *vought*, NOT homelander.

homelander is not even the real villain in *billy's* mind, in all actuality.

what homelander *is*?

temptation.

he is... the *ultimate* final high for billy. in terms of addiction to both *violence* and *self punishment*.

he doesn't actually go after homelander because he wants to 'stop him' or even kill him. not really. there are times billy starts a fight *expecting* to *lose*, *wanting* it. homelander *is* one of those times to the most intense degree that billy could find. and he even senses this when they first meet--unnecessarily, privately insulting the man because why?

because he feels *threatened*. because he feels *insecure*. because if homelander is *truly good*, even with *all that power*--

then billy has no fucking excuse--

it is, in essence, the same exact reaction that lex luthor has to superman. forcing himself to *challenge* him because of a *constant* sense of *fear*. (except lex *is* afraid of dying, so 1000% a huge coward lmao--)

but~, when he finds out homelander is *bad*?

homelander is billy's *failsafe*

to stop the person he feels is the most terrible evil of all *and* to set the world on fire in the process. a way for billy to kill two birds with one stone. compelled by his addiction to *chase* this ideation relentlessly.

homelander is to billy--his ultimate end, self punishment, a death wish, a *suicide attempt*.

and a way to *unleash his hatred onto the rest of the world*, *to make it burn*, even after his death. (this would be why despite many many MANY warnings to *not* push homelander *because of the catastrophe this will ultimately instigate and the loss of life this is bound to result in*--billy does not give a shit about the potential consequences. he welcomes them--)

if homelander were a *nuke*, billy would want to *launch* him. right now, homie is more like the *demon core*, incredibly dangerous and in some instances lethal, but not *yet* explosive.

billy *wants* the *warhead*.

it was why he got *so excited* at the *chance* of homelander offering him 'scorched earth'.

the man read billy like an open fucking book, and set the bait--

y'all, in other words, homie straight up went to billy's house and offered *crack* to the *crack addict*--fuck yeah he's gonna take that offer!

homelander never actually perceives billy as a real threat *at all* (safe to say, this is the main reason he doesn't kill him. there's a bit of personal complex combined with the deals/blackmail/request involved, but this would also be why he doesn't *hesitate* to 'kill' billy at herogasm. he genuinely gives no fucks about this poor man or his many anal complexes and daddy issues beyond the mild entertainment he gets from him and just how *easy* it is to read billy or rile him up. maybe a *dash* of novelty being found in billy's obsession with him. i'll go into the homie side of things in depth maybe someday soon lol but for now--)

and here's the thing, homelander isn't the *only* failsafe. he is simply the *ultimate failsafe*

included in all the possible bad habits billy has is pawning off his *responsibility* and personal accountability, even his *will to do good* onto others.

i mentioned before that becca (becky) was like a new addiction for him. and she was. in a sense, billy was using her to self medicate. she loved him, gave him love and made him feel good, no pain, no shame--but also no pause to think about that pain, self hatred and self doubt and actively address it. she was a way to not worry about his own *goodness* because she was an *easy* reason for him to *want* to be good.

and something important to note?

billy feels that he has *cheated* on becca/becky *since* the day she left/died. (there's a whole ass deliciously intricate story there but i'm trying to avoid the spoilers lmao. kind of a freebie hint i guess.)

lenny and hughie similarly make an effort to *hold butcher back* and reach out to him. (everyone does honestly, but not everyone is so successful with it). and butcher lets them, but *also* removes the agency of his own choice in the matter.

he doesn't just *let them* make him *good*, he doesn't believe he's capable of stopping himself on his own--but he believes in *them* because they *are* good, *truly good*.

hughie all on his own is *another kind of failsafe* and lo and behold, even calls butcher out on this by the end of the third season (theme is prevalent in the comic a lil different but again spoilers lol):

'i don't think you want to do this. i think you want me to stop you.'

*ding*ding*ding*!

nail on the head, hughie... butcher does not believe he can stop himself. so he sets up *failsafes* to do as much.

and let me just say, it is *unbelievably* shitty of him to do that, to pawn off the responsibility of his own behavior, whether good or pure evil onto other people. but i get it. and it fucking breaks my heart for him.

because *that* is addiction. it feels like mind control. aggressive compulsion. you feel ashamed, and hate yourself, and don't care if you hurt yourself or even others. but you keep *hoping*, *wishing*, *leaving a breadcrumb trail* so that *someone*, *anyone*, will come along and--

*save you. from you.*

and when you stop believing in yourself, in your own willpower to fight against this *thing* that just completely *destroys* you from the inside out... without *anyone* on your side, what else is left to do but to numb the pain?

i was able to recognize billy's addiction right off the bat because i've *been* to a lot of the places he has been. including the addiction. and he makes me so *fucking* mad because it's like seeing a version of myself *still stuck*, *still lost*, *still trapped* by my own issues and self loathing, and all of the abuse i've gone through--

and the biggest fuck up, the biggest *abuser* is me.

i can't *escape* me. *no one* can escape *themself*.

that fucker breaks my heart to pieces because *i have been there*, and i know just how fucking hard it is to *be* there, just how much harder it is to *get out* and start to *learn*--*who is it you really wanna be? who are you without this drug?*

and something he even says in the comics on a few occasions is--

'i'm not really here, i'm somewhere else watching this happen'

asserting that he *truly* believes that he has *no control* over *what* he is. (in contrast with homelander, who feels the weight of something similar but more literally in some regard, and in relation to so many other aspects in his life with the world around him.)

billy butcher *is* the *true villain* of *his own story*

of his own making.

he's not after homelander or even vought. he doesn't blame society or even his father at this point. he blames himself. and he's *given up* entirely on fighting himself. he's looking for his *overdose*.

*that's homelander*

ain't that a kick in the head...

it's part of what makes their relationship and dynamic so incredibly electric and titillating. it's got nothing to do with becca or becky.

butcher sees homelander as an easy way out. as a way to control the narrative, *maintain his own*, and *stop the bad guy* without bringing someone *good*, like *hughie*, down to his level.

he *sees* the parallels, a kindred spirit. he *knows* the potential. and he wants to be the *spark* to light all that *gasoline*.

because then it won't be his fault anymore. his *guilt*. he'll have passed on his *curse*.

likewise, he actually goes after supes in general for a similar enough reason, and it ties in with why he *doesn't* go after vought directly.

billy actually *likes* the status quo. to a degree, *needs* it, *needs vought*

because *vought* is the *creator* of his *supply*, feeding this addiction. and we hear billy say this in both the comic and show--

'with great power comes the absolute certainty that you'll turn into a right cunt.'

and billy actually believes this--about himself.

when he says it about other supes and even his intense hatred of them, it is a *projection* of his own issues and what he believes to be true for himself (that he would do the absolute worst thing imaginable given the opportunity). and in a way, going after them is in some ways a metaphor for stopping and destroying himself, hating himself, as much as it is a way to maintain his addiction.

and--

maintain the narrative he has built--that he is the true villain.

and if that's the case, well... it takes a *hero* to stop a *villain*, right?

but also--y'all remember that scene in the suicide squad where polkadot man imagines everyone as his mum? how he imagines starro as his mum?

yeah, that.

that's basically billy. every fucking supe, including starlight, and kimiko, and let's *really* not talk about what this means about him sleeping with maeve in context with his 'supe=daddy' issues, but even the person he sees in the mirror. *all of them* are *his father*.

listen, i'm not kidding. billy's daddy issues are seriously severe, so fucking bad, i--

his actions aren't for becca or becky or ryan or justice. even he *knows* that's bullshit and admits as much (which just makes fandom denying it that much more fucked). but they're not even *just because* or because he's genocidal, antisocial, or anything else. he *does* want someone to stop him. he's sane enough to recognize his actions for what they truly are *behind* the mask.

billy's actions are a volatile and violent *cry for help*, because he never learned how to *ask*, or even how to *believe in himself*.

he never truly learned that *he never had to be his father*, and he didn't *need* becky or becca, lenny or hughie to *be good*.

i actually think billy's greatest magic trick is convincing even the audience and readers that he is a *total*, complete piece of shit. and don't get me wrong, he is *def* a huge, massive, incredibly rank and ripe piece of shit--.

and y'all, i'm sorry if you believed him and got played like a damn fiddle, him and homie def throwin' in some hard balls--

but he's also still human. he also still needs just as much if, honestly? maybe even more, fucking *help* than homelander. which kind of draws back into their parallels. the tomfoolery of fandom might have you believe that billy is less complex or more put together than homelander, but their situations go hand in hand and the evidence suggests (if not confirms) something quite different.

billy's plight and even goal in some sense is *convincing the rest of his world that he is a monster*. driven by the addiction his father gave him. enabled by the world around him.

homelander's? it's actually the complete opposite. his struggle is with *his world convincing him that he is a monster*, and in turn, against his own instincts, *growing* into that role. when in reality, he never got the chance to decide for himself, it was decided *for* him a long long time ago.

'i think, therefore i am.'

'i can, therefore i must.'

however, *our actions cannot define who we are, because we can choose our actions*. good or bad are not something you inherently *are*, they are something you *choose to do*.

it paints what in turn becomes quite the brutal and tragic picture when these two forces meet. homelander and billy are both of the mindset that they *don't have a choice*.

and this bit is a bit more of a personal thought, but regarding billy's mum, she was *becky*. she was sweet, and kind, and cared for her family more than anything. *it didn't matter what she suffered, she was willing to drown if it meant saving the people she loved*.

as much as i adore how cute becca and billy were, i don't think she would have saved him.

i think the implication is that she would have either 'drowned' trying and become his mum, history repeating itself in a vicious cycle as billy spread his disease to any child they could have.

or that she would have lost her mind. and in turn *become* the person billy spread his disease to, if not another enabler for him. if not billy's choice of drug, maybe she would have taken up something else and eventually overdosed. i would even say the show implies this outcome with both becca and hughie, as the more butcher pushes--the more worn down they get.

if you put enough pressure on someone--they break.

becca was *good* for him. but billy was so, so fucking *bad* for her.

it begs the question of whether or not billy *is* right, if he really is this monster, *fated* to become his father in the worse of ways. of whether or not it's too late for him.

he's certainly not 'normal' or 'right' or 'good' or even an 'anti-hero'. at best, you could maybe call him an 'anti-villain', he is meant to be the deuterantagonist.

it def doesn't help that every time he has the *chance* to do the right thing, *someone* goes and enables him, gives him a reason to do the *wrong* thing.

fucking maeve in that last episode of the third season. but she's def not the only one, and def not the only time. (and yes, if it wasn't clear enough, being completely fucking indifferent to killing *thousands* of people to go after *one* fucking guy is in fact, the *wrong* thing to do.)

butt.

rewatching the scenes with lenny and billy's reaction, and even the final fight, showed something of a *possible* silver lining.

billy *enjoys* rejecting his father. actually pretty fucking greatly if we're being honest. generally speaking, it's when he *rejects* his father and everything that man represents that billy is at his *happiest* (lmao the epitome of an unfulfilled submissive sweetheart and bratty bossy bottom~<3<3<3)

there's a moment, where soldier boy says something along the lines of--

'--fuck you. you're weaker than he is.'

in regards to homelander. it's sort of glossed over, but this is billy's reaction to essentially being called a 'disgrace' so to speak by a toxic 'alpha male'.

y'all see that? it's a smile. lmao a smirk.

this is a moment where billy is protecting *ryan* and keeping his promise to becca. it's a moment where billy is *doing the right thing*, all on *his own* (mostly lol i'm sure there's a roundabout way to justify it in his head). and i think that's key.

it's not just a moment he's proud of himself and has a legitimate fucking reason to be proud of himself, (oh btw, we shoulda *all* been proud of billy in this moment), it's a moment he's *breaking through what his father made him* and his own *addiction*.

and he's doing it *selflessly* and--*without setting that responsibility on another person*.

so we *know* he has it in him, he always has. even becky *in the comic* kept trying to convince billy that *he is capable of good without her*. and again, we actually saw this in the second season when becca and ryan were reunited and billy *changed* his plans, *for becca*, instead of doing the selfish thing and selling ryan back to vought.

but if billy doesn't believe it himself...

i don't think billy is right about himself. but it is very *very* difficult for someone to *correct course* so to speak, once they have their *core beliefs*, lay out their own destiny and start along a *self fulfilling prophecy*, something him and homelander *both* do.

enter ryan.

and suddenly (lol probably in part due to reading dear becky lol), there was a bit of... not so much new, as *confirmed* perspective in play after that rewatch, something to *look* for and ponder in regards to *why* ryan may have been added for this story, a question in mind--

'would it be wrong of *ryan* to want to save his father?'

was it wrong of becca or becky, hughie or lenny, even his mum, to want to save billy?

how would *billy* even begin to answer such questions?

a different answer for the two would be a clear hypocritical bias (which lol i would not put past billy, but i also wouldn't be surprised if he maintained consistent thinking by answering *yes* to both)

. . .

y'all...

i still can't say i'm particularly optimistic about things turning out alright for either gent or ryan, butt~<3

garth ennis literally made the saddest, most pathetic, deliciously sweet, perfectly precious, extra emo tsun tsun baby boi ever, and put him right under our noses.

some a y'all fucking sneezing all over him, straight up sleepin' on all his *best* bits. how are we not utilizing billy butcher *properly~<3<3<3*????

;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[aihoshiino]

chapter 144 thoughts!

I don't think any other chapter of Oshi no Ko has ever baffled and confounded me quite like this one. Viewed solely in isolation this is a perfectly fine, functional chapter but as the followup to 143 and everything it contained, I actually feel like I'm losing my mind a bit. 143 might as well not have happened for all the weight it's given in this chapter. Ruby is not remotely acting like a girl who just tongued her crush of 18 years and in general, the total absence of any reference or cushioning of the shock of that event is just so loud and so jarring and so completely out of touch with how OnK has handled romantic developments in the past.

Both AquAka kisses had at least a scene or two in the chapter immediately following of characters reacting to and reflecting on both the event itself and the status quo change it represents in the relationship. Even 124 has that scene of Ruby clinging onto Aqua to let the viewer know what the new dynamic between them is going to be from now on. This chapter has nothing of the sort; I wasn't kidding when it says it feels like the kiss never even happened. The only thing I can point to is Ruby's little "we have sensei at home" exchange with Tsukuyomi but that's… kind of just exactly what she would've said even before the kiss. So if it has resulted in absolutely no change to their dynamic that we can see thus far, what was the point in ending the chapter on that note?

The part of me that is cynical and jaded can't help but suspect that this is intentionally hot button reaction bait paced specifically for the purposes of keeping OnK a trendy topic in the lead up to season 2 of the anime airing, But Who's To Say, Really.

I also had my worries about this last chapter, but unless we skip back in time to address it, it really looks like we've skipped over the remainder of the KamiAi romance and everything to do with the early stages of Ai's pregnancy. This is incredibly frustrating to me - they're parts of Ai's story I had been incredibly curious about and was excited to see her thoughts and feelings on, even filtered through fiction. In general, the way the Movie Arc has been increasingly dropping its focus on actually conveying Ai's story has been a real sore point for me. I fully acknowledge this rankles me more than perhaps it should because I am so deeply invested in Ai above any other character but… fuck, man! Once again, remember when this was supposed to be an arc about her? About her inner life, her pain and struggles and Aqua and Ruby working to a better understanding of her? I was excited for the Movie Arc specifically because I thought we were going to get peeks at parts of Ai's life we weren't privy to beforehand, but at this point it almost feels like Akasaka has just lost interest in following through.

Not only that but… uh, where's that KamiAi breakup scene, Akasaka? The one we were promised during the script reading? That huge I CAN'T LOVE YOU elephant that's been patiently sitting in the room? I can only assume that the 15YL version of this breakup happens after the twins are born or maybe even when Kamiki visited Ai at the hospital the night the kids were born but. What the fuck is even going on here anymore lol. The Oshi no Brainrot discord has been kicking around a joke theory that we were seeing the events of the Movie Arc out of their actual chronological order and it is becoming increasingly less of a joke in my brain because I can't make any sense of its progression otherwise.

oh my god i'm almost 1000 words in and i haven't started talking about the actual point of this chapter yet. god help me.

Anyway, MY SON IS HERE LET'S GO MELT!!!!!!

Ngl, I've always been a little disappointed that we didn't see much more of Melt in this arc, both just because I like him and because I think there's some really interesting potential in drawing on the parallels between Melt and Kamiki. I'm not the first to point out that Melt's experience with a dubiously consensual sexual encounter at the hands of an upperclassman - when he wasn't that much older than Hikaru was when Airi began abusing him - echoes at least in spirit Kamiki's experiences as a CSA victim; both were young boys, noted to be pretty and desirable, who were taken advantage of by older female figures. I think it would be extremely interesting and a great character moment for Melt to have some degree of engagement with that material and maybe to have some thoughts about it. It feels like a little bit of a missed opportunity to pass up on that, but I also acknowledge that Melt is ultimately not a huge mover and shaker in the overall story and I don't know how that would've fit into the Movie Arc as it stands, so I'll just have to make eyes at the AO3 tag and hope someone writes a fic about it.

Anyway as a lot of people predicted… here's Ruby being a jackass to Melt about his performance!!! Joking aside, I will admit it's a little jarring to see Ruby being so hostile to Melt over this…? Gorou is a sore spot for her, obviously and she would undoubtedly have high standards for his role in the movie. In addition, Ruby being snitty with people who rub her the wrong way definitely isn't new for her, but it still feels kind of odd both coming off her own struggles to connect with Ai through acting and her little "holy shit other people have feelings" breakthrough in the wake of the RBKN fight for her to be like this about it. I do think this is mostly just supposed to be just goofs and I'm overthinking it, it was just one of those things that kind of gave me pause as I was reading.

ruby's little little princess shirt is really good though, as is her referring to herself as a fan of the 'original work'. both of those got a solid sensible chuckle out of me.

Another thing that gave me pause for a very different reason was Melt and Ruby's exchange about his little merch pin. First and foremost, I think this is a really good Melt moment; while we saw him busting his ass to improve his acting in Tokyo Blade, that was very much when he had something to prove. Here, he really does seem to be going above and beyond for what is basically a bit part purely out of a desire to improve his craft and a passion for acting overall. It's nice to see the story double down in this being a lesson he did properly take away from Sweet Today and that he has committed to acting upon it (no pun intended) in the long term, not just when under outside pressure to do so.

The other thing that jumped out to me about this exchange is that… technically speaking, both Ruby and Melt are wrong, here? It's a very nice, flowery description of Gorou and it certainly lines up with his more positive traits but the idea of him not wearing his Ai merch in front of Ai herself is actually incorrect. Gorou is depicted (in the anime, anyway) as openly wearing the charm at what's implied to be all times, even in front of Ai herself. The manga also implies by way of where the charm is on his person when Ruby finds his body that this is also the case in that version of events, too. I don't think it's a retcon and may be an unimportant detail in the grand scheme of things but it did pique my interest.

There's a few ways to take this, I think; a more positive spin is that this is in line with what the story wants us to take away from 15 Year Lie as a production, where the literal granular facts of its events are sometimes less important than and can be bent in favour of supporting the emotional narrative it wants to convey. Melt may not literally be correct here, but he at least achieves the spirit of the right answer in his efforts. "Lies are love", after all.

However, given that Ruby enthusiastically endorses this interpretation - and is thus wrong alongside Melt - this could potentially be an indication of there being cracks in Ruby's rose-tinted view of Gorou. This strikes me as a fascinating idea and one I hope the series plays with; it would follow quite naturally from last chapter's framing of Gorou as Ruby's 'idol' that she's 'gachikoi' for. Oshi no Ko has pretty consistently portrayed the idol/fan relationship as inherently unequal, even when approached with the best of intentions and to truly know someone, you must let them off their pedestal first. She has sort of begun this process with Ai, just through empathizing with her during the 15YL production but we have yet to see anything similar happen with Gorou - if anything, we see the opposite here, where she asserts herself as the authority on Gorou's character as if she has the final say on who he was and what he felt and thought.

But the thing is, how well can Ruby really say that she knew him? They were only in each others' lives for a few months and in that time, she was only exposed to a very narrow slice of his life and his personality. Hell, you could even argue that Akane knows more about Gorou than Ruby does, given that we have no indication that Ruby or Sarina was ever privy to the details of his birth and his home life. Again, it's entirely possible that I'm reading too much into this, but now the idea is in my brain I'm simmering on it a bit. If nothing else, I hope the series takes the time to prod and poke at this angle, especially now it has made the fan/idol aspect of this dynamic explicit and textual.

Ruby and Melt's little senpai/kouhai dynamic has the potential to be really cute and I do hope the series actually spends some time on it. I've always thought a RBML friendship could be really fun to watch play out and seeing Melt gain some confidence in himself by teaching someone else could be really great. But with how unfocused the Movie Arc has been, it's really hard to get my hopes up that we'll be sticking with this even past this chapter lol

oh hey there crow girl we thought you were dead

Surprisingly, I don't have a lot to really say about her little lore drop here, since it's mostly mystery boxing and implications and, man. It's been 69 (nice) chapters since she first started showing up ominously muttering about supernatural things and while I don't mind her presence and I think she's evolved into a fun character, it's a little hard for me to get interested in these little supernatural tidbits until they resolve into something that feels meaningful for the characters.

This isn't helped by the fact that we don't really know what kami means in the context she uses it here. While 'god' and 'gods' are not strictly incorrect as translations, I think an English speaking viewer is primed to think of Abrahamic, capital G-Gods, which isn't necessarily correct. The term kami is a catchall that covers all manner of things from divinities to venerated earthbound humans, so kami can perhaps best be understood as being an umbrella term for something like 'an otherworldly being', which I think better lines up with Tsukuyomi's assertion that those who have memories of past lives are like kami in of themselves.

Ultimately though until we know what kami really means and amounts to in Oshi no Ko, it's hard to say what this means for the characters and I am ultimately only really interested in the characters. So until we know what this actually amounts to in-story, I'm just kind of nodding long with whatever Crow Girl says because sure. This might as well happen.

can we talk about how fucking funny her anime antagonist jump out of the tree was, by the way

break next week, or so i've heard... one of these days, we'll beat the allegations....

[collegetennisoriginstory]

I wanted to throw in my opinion on the Trans MC if you want it! Option 3 would be a lot of extra writing and coding, so I get that it wouldn't be a decision made lightly and it would be added pressure to get it right and it's a sensitive topic for sure. I will say that if you chose to go this route tho, it would make a huge difference and mean a lot to us. I'm a trans athlete, and the lack of representation can be really discouraging. It's time like these where we are receiving so much hate, especially when it comes to sports, that allies could really step up and make a difference. Reading can really open people's minds! It may be difficult and uncomfortable, and take extra work, but that's our everyday tbh. We out here living on hard mode 😂 that's just my thoughts on the matter but I will respect you and read your story either way. Much love 🏳️‍⚧️♥️

Hey! Thank you so much for sending this! This gets long, forgive my wordiness.

First off, I really feel your statement to the bone, the part about how allies could step up and make a difference, and how positive rep in media, games etc. is insanely important.

So many stories, TV shows, movies have shaped my experience of being queer and POC, and while some of them have been nice just so I could see someone like myself being represented, the ones that really made an impact are of course the ones where these identities were explored in a sensitive, thoughtful way. (When I watched Saving Face for the first time at 17, about a queer Chinese American doctor, I bawled my eyes out and dont think I've been the same since).

I would absolutely love if CT:OS/my IFs could do this for trans athletes too.

I've seen/heard so many worrying statements about trans athletes (both in real life and in the media)—and it makes me so sad.

Some that really get me really riled up are: The idea that a trans athlete's accomplishments mean nothing because they "have an unfair advantage" (or putting it down to "just hormones" or whatever instead of recognizing the hardwork, skill, and dedication behind EVERY successul athlete, trans or not). Or the idea that trans athletes shouldn't get to choose to be trans if they want to be athletes. Or the idea of policing trans athletes' bodies or forcing them to undergo surgery in order for them to be "valid"...

Well, FUCK THAT. FUCK those people.

If my IF can help celebrate trans athletes, and combat/shut down the really harmful (and ignorant) rhetoric out there? I'd love to do that.

But since I am not trans myself, it feels doubly, triply important that I wade really carefully here. I'd really need to spend time making sure I like and can stand behind what I'm putting out. I don't think it'd be responsible representation, otherwise!

I'm not really a perfectionist about my writing and that's how I make progress on my IFs while working a full time job. I'm more the... "slap shit tgt, get it out there, get feedback and edit if I feel like it" kind of writer. And I don't think I'd be able to finish CT:OS / Merry Crisis any other way. But when it comes to race, gender, and sexual identity? I really. Really. Wanna get things right.

(I rewrote that Rayyan convo about being a POC athlete with Deepal so many times haha and it was already marginally less scary, since I am a POC athlete.)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I agree it's so goddamn important to have trans stories, and rep, especially in sports, where views are often so toxic and polarized.

But I don't think I know yet whether I see my IF being more a simple "yay, trans rep" kind of space or an actual deeper exploration of what it means to be a trans athlete. I was quite prepared to add the option to be trans (+ any accompanying scenes etc.) when I have the complete CT:OS 1st draft, but I was also toying with the idea of just putting something imperfect into the game earlier.

Faced with indecision, I've opted for: procrastination. I am still waffling, but it was helpful to hear what you guys think. Thank you so much for your message.

Lots of love, keep being awesome ❤️

[kozuki-hiyori]

I love how simultaneously smart and dumb all the Straw Hats are. And all in different ways, it's absolutely wonderful. (If you want to say something like: "So-and-so isn't dumb"... I beg you to think again, this is the Straw Hats)

Like, Luffy, despite being the absolute epitome of has one brain cell that has a coherent though maybe once a week, is so brilliantly emotionally intelligent. The easy with which he can read people is amazing (and what makes him such a great protagonist for the story)

And Zoro, he's actually not that dumb. Like, he is, don't get me wrong (both him and Luffy are this common sense sort of silly that's like, no that's not how that works, why the hell is it working for you??? why would you think that would work??), but very strategically gifted. Him having the idea to paint the x's on their forearms being a big example.

Nami, god Nami. She's the common sense of the Straw Hat's, the street smarts. She's also great at playing people. But when she lets her guard down, she's so driven by her heart to help the people she cares for that she'll go rushing in almost without thinking.

Usopp's got this jack-of-all trades sort of thing going on. A relentless drive to solve puzzles, and he's good at it. That being said, the way he lies, somehow it works out for him (similar in a sense to Luffy and Zoro), like thank god that worked for you, because why did you even try to lie like that.

And then Sanji. I don't know if there's any specific sort of intelligence he really demonstrates. Like Zoro, he's quite strategic, and he's fairly creative with his cooking and such. And when he sees a woman, any and all smarts he has goes out the window. Good job, buddy.

Chopper has a fair amount of technical knowledge (Doctor, no duh), but he hasn't experience the world at all.

Robin is all book smarts (god, I love her so much, I love her habit of spouting out morbid facts, that was literally me as a kid), and then when it comes to reading the room... well... (again, the spouting out morbid facts, not what they want to hear, unfortunately).

Franky, like Chopper has a sort of expert knowledge and the same puzzling drive as Usopp, and then he's got that sort of general crazy stupid that all the Straw Hats have.

And finally Brook with all his silly weirdness, but I'd say he represents wisdom. He's been around the longest (obviously lol) and he has a calmer approach to life because of that.

It's just so interesting and amazing to have all these characters be so smart in so many different ways, especially beyond just the usual.

Okay, just looking it up now, and Harvard as designated 8 types of intelligence (at least that's what this very quick search is showing me, and these are slightly different than what I was talking about, but still cool) and those are: Spacial (Usopp), Bodily-Kinesthetic (Zoro? Sanji?), Musical (Brook), Linguistic (Robin), Logical-Mathematical (Zoro? and maybe Sanji?), Interpersonal (Luffy, Nami possibly), Intrapersonal (honestly, Jinbe possibly, I haven't got a great read on him yet, though, oh and Brook?), and Naturalistic (Chopper? Usopp again). Anyway it's very cool to me that a lot of those match up very easily to the Straw Hats and their different strengths!

[demonicchicken1121]

sorry to be “that guy” but I saw your asexual henry willry post and I just wanted to say that asexual people can still experience romantic attraction! a lack of romantic attraction would be aromantic, not asexual. and aromanticism/asexuality consist of spectrums, you can still experience sexual attraction as an asexual, or romantic attraction as an aromantic!

Henry is aroace. He labels himself purely as asexual because he doesn’t know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction. He also feels more inclined to call himself asexual because that is the label he feels fits him best, which is based on my own experience. I am aroace but relate more to the asexual identity and asexuality is a bit easier to explain to the average person than gray-romantic, which I am. I also haven’t quite figured out his romantic orientation. This au is a wip. Many of the people who read my RtH post have been following the au for a bit, and understand some of the nuances and unfinished pieces of the characters.

also I am aware that asexuality and aromantism is a spectrum. I am on that spectrum. Henry is sex repulsed. RtH Henry has always been sex repulsed. Williams obsession with him is sexual in nature. If William had actually been open with Henry early on, then maybe they could have had a relationship, but it also could have led to conflict because of Henry’s sex repulsion. That is a major part of the story. William and Henry are both in love with each other, but in very different ways. It’s part of why this version of willry is so tragic, because they can’t love each other in a way that matters to the other. And neither of them are in the wrong in this situation. It’s just a part of life that gets in the way of relationships sometimes.

all parts of the aro and ace spectrums are valid, but it seems that many people only acknowledge gray and Demi and other such identities when they want to ship a-spec characters. People trying to figure out or represent their own identities create some really great stories and art. But often times people use Demi/gray identities, and things like qprs to erase a characters aro/ace identity rather than actually researching and attempting to write those identities and relationships well.

I don’t think you meant to be disrespectful, but please do keep in mind the current situation around aro/ace characters, especially when the person writing them is aro/ace. Idk if you are aro/ace yourself, but I’m also noting this because of how many people treat aro/ace people an characters.

[she-wolf09231982]

This was a fun little project I found on @suugrbunz posts and I thought it would be fun to practice with this prompt. Hope you like it!

Prompt idea to practice your writing otp (ocs or fandom) — it'd be so cool since a lot of us write BoB fandom related content. So it can be interrupted as a modern au or !! Write your couples when they have grown old together

~💚~💚~💚~💚~💚~💚~

Upon returning from Europe after the war came to an end, you and Joe Liebgott had enough points for Honorable Discharge then came back to America after having served together in Easy Company ready to begin your lives as an exclusive couple. You both agreed that California would be the proper place to settle together. With the finances you each earned overseas, you bought a modest home with all the trimmings and furniture to fill it with. 

June 1946 

A representative from a popular local radio station visited your home to invite you and Joe for a live broadcast interview about your experiences together as a couple while deployed. The man explained it would be a real human-interest story and the American public would love to hear it. After a little bit of coaxing, you convince Joe to do it with you. 

You and Joe seated next to eachother across from the record jockey who would be interviewing you. The interview simply went as follows: 

Record Jockey (RJ): So, are you two a couple? 

Y/N: We are a couple. *Proudly smiling*  

Joe: *Nods with a grin* 

RJ: Would you mind telling us the story of how you two met? 

*You’re hesitant at first because women serving in the military was quite frowned upon, but nonetheless would still be overjoyed to tell the story. Joe would only be looking to you to do all the talking. He loves hearing your voice, and just stares at you admirably* 

Y/N: We both enlisted in the Army at the same time and met at Camp Toccoa, GA. I trained with the Paratroopers and the medic training unit while we were there and was assigned to Easy Company where Joe also was. 

RJ: When was that? 

*Joe is better with numbers than you, so you hum in thought then look at Joe to help you out* 

Y/N: June....? July... 

Joe: July 1942 

RJ: What was your first impression of each other? 

*You smile coyly at Joe, narrowing your eyes at him. Joe would be slouching in his seat, not very thrilled to be there in the first place, but perks up a little at the question meeting your gaze affectionately* 

Y/N: He was smug, and overconfident. A real wise guy with a mouth that needed a good bar of soap. My initial impression of Joe was that he was nothing but trouble. And you know what? I was right about that, (Y/N giggles) but after spending all those years with him overseas, I discovered how charming he could be. And how honorable of a soldier he was in the field. 

*Joe grins adoringly at you. Grabs your hand and squeezes* 

Joe: At first, I thought she was a pain in the.... 

RJ: Mr. Liebgott! Please, we’re live! 

Joe: -right...uh, pain in the rear. Whenever me and the guys did somethin’ we weren’t supposta’, she’d always be naggin’ us. Ya know, like a parent? Thought she was going to fall behind a lot and complain about getting dirty or having to fire the M-1. She didn’t complain about the work, the filth, the sweat, the tears or the heat. None of it. She pushed through like any of the guys did. I read her all wrong in the beginning. 

*Your eyes meet and exchange smiles* 

RJ: How many years have you been an item?  

Y/N: Well, the rest of the guys considered us an ‘item’ long before we dropped into Normandy. But I’d say exclusively since late June 1944. After all the near-death experiences, we definitely had a stronger bond. 

*Joe just nods in agreement* 

RJ: Joe, we haven’t heard too much from you. What's your favorite thing about Y/N? 

*Y/N looks over at Joe expectantly, smirking because she knows he doesn’t really like to talk about feelings* 

Joe: *Long exhale, kind of stares out into space thinking* Well...she’s a knockout. Just look at her. *Gestures to Y/N sitting next to him blushing* I love that she can look the way she does and still be as strong as any of the guys in Easy.  

*He looks you over and winks at you making the butterflies in your stomach dance* 

RJ: So, was there a first date? 

*You and Joe both look at eachother inquisitively, each squinting at one another as if trying to search the other’s thoughts for an answer. You shrug* 

Joe: What about that night at Toccoa when we snuck out after lights out, and walked Curahee? Think that counts? 

Y/N: Ah, yes! It was so hot and humid, and neither of us could sleep on those kinds of nights- 

Joe: Mid-August 1943 

Y/N: -so we both snuck out of billeting to get some air after TAPS and bumped into eachother behind the mess hall. So, it was an impromptu first date. We ended up walking the Curahee trail up the mountain where we always did our awful company runs. But you could see the stars perfectly up there.  

*Joe nods* 

RJ: So, with the war having brought you together and the experiences having made you two inseparable, any plans to make Y/N ‘Mrs. Liebgott?’  

*You hiccup clutching your pearls. Joe chokes on saliva and chuckles nervously* 

Joe: *Scratching the back of his head* I think that goes without sayin’-- 

RJ: How about little Liebgotts? 

*Sweat forming on Joe’s forehead, you sense his panic* 

Y/N: Joe and I have the same ambitions planning for our future. That will include marriage and starting a family. Right now, we’re relishing eachother living peaceful lives after the chaos of the war. We’re in no hurry. 

*You look over at Joe, and he directs a grateful smile to you for rescuing him* 

RJ: You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen! From the treacherous depths of war love still prevails! Thank you for sharing your story with the public! It’s lovely to see this point of view about the war than from what we’ve only heard or seen in the news. What a story! 

The End

[lu-is-not-ok]

If you are still taking EGOs to analyze, have you done Sunshower / Drifting Fox?

I have not yet, so let's take a look!

Under the cut, wheeee~

Let's start with the Drifting Fox itself. Unlike most Limbus Abnormalities, for which you have to do some deep readings to recognise their themes, Drifting Fox spells out its themes quite clearly in its Observation Logs.

Here, we're dealing with the idea of feign kindness vs genuine kindness. Kindness done to make yourself feel good without thinking of whether or not it will actually help the one you're being kind to, vs kindness done because you genuinely care about the one you're being kind to.

Some other themes that can be read from this abnormality are abandonment, seeking affection, thoughtfulness behind one's actions (and lack thereof), and learned distrust.

Now, there is also the fact that Drifting Fox and its E.G.O, Sunshower, seem to have some inspiration in the Fox Rain folktale, which mostly revolves around unrequited love. However... There isn't much about Drifting Fox that seems to really connect to that theme at all. The most I can say about it is that the theme was twisted into one about the Fox struggling to accept love from others due to its bad experiences with people who pretended to love it for selfish reasons.

As such I won't really be using the folktale in the analysis, as while I'm sure some connections can be drawn between it and Sunshower E.G.O users, in my opinion they're not as important to character analysis as drawing connections to the Drifting Fox itself.

While we're talking about Sunshower E.G.O users, let's name them finally. Outis and Yi Sang. While Heathcliff uses a Lobcorp version of the E.G.O in one of his IDs, I won't be looking into it in this post because analyzing Identities is a very different process to analyzing E.G.Os, and one I'm still trying to polish. Maybe one day I'll be able to dip my toes into full ID analysis, but until then, E.G.O only.

With Yi Sang, we can definitely see Drifting Fox's themes here, especially with the context of Canto IV. After all, feign kindness is exactly what he experienced from Gubo after the League disbanded, an event that led to him feeling abandoned and distrustful of everyone but Sang Yi. Which, speaking of him, is the main person Yi Sang was seeking affection from during the time he was effectively abandoned.

Now, when it comes to Outis... We really don't know much about her or her background. However, I think one way the theme of feign kindness presents itself in her is, well, with how she acts. Outis's whole schtick is that she's pretending to be kind towards Dante, seemingly for her own benefit.

However... Something tells me it's not as simple as that. Thoughout the story, we get hints towards Outis's life. How she had to sacrifice a lot during her time on the battlefield, and hints towards some complex feeling regarding family she had to leave behind to join the war.

Does she believe she abandoned her family? Or, now that the war is over, does she think they had abandoned her in return? Is feign kindness something that only applies to her own actions? Or is it something she herself experienced as well, and had to learn how to use by herself to survive? She certainly feels like the distrusting type to me...

We don't know enough to say for sure right now, but it is certainly interesting to speculate about.

Let's move on to Sin analysis, as this is where something very interesting happens.

Sunshower is the first shared E.G.O we have that has Different Sin Damage depending on its user. This, of course, paints a very different picture of how these themes apply to each of its users.

Outis's Sunshower deals Gluttony damage. Gluttony is a Sin that represents actions done out of hunger, both hunger for survival and hunger for more. With what little we know about Outis, I think in this case we can firmly place this Gluttony as the survival type.

This implies that her own feigning of kindness is something she began doing as a way to survive what she has gone through, likely during the war and after it had ended. It could also symbolize her own distrust being a way to survive in the wake of other people feigning kindness towards her.

Yi Sang's Sunshower deals Sloth damage. Sloth is a sin that represents actions done out of apathy and inaction, which at this point is a Sin Staple for Yi Sang. This, of course, represents how he deals with feign kindness and abandonment - apathy and resignation.

When the League fell apart, Yi Sang resigned himself to following the guidance of whoever first told him what to do. When met with Gubo's feign kindness, Yi Sang responded with apathy, and resigned himself to following his orders because there was nothing else he thought he could do.

Sin requirements-wise, both Outis and Yi Sang require Sloth, Gluttony, and Gloom, while Yi Sang also adds some Pride on top of that. Let's take this one at a time.

For both Outis and Yi Sang, Sloth represents some form of resignation and/or apathy. This, of course, is extremely clear for Yi Sang, whose very character arc revolves around overcoming his depressive apathy. When it comes to Outis, I think this also applies, if in lesser amounts. Over the course of the war she participated in, she likely had learn to be complacent, to simply follow her leader's orders and not grow too attached to anyone.

Next up, Gluttony. Like with Sloth, I think this represents the same thing for both Outis and Yi Sang, that being that their actions were a way to survive the circumstances they were in. For Outis, it was the only way she could make it through the war, and the only way she can keep going after. For Yi Sang, it was the only way he could survive the League's disbanding and being captured by N Corp.

Then, we have Gloom. Gloom as a sin represents actions done under the pressure of negative emotions. It implies severe emotional stress. Knowing what we know about Outis and Yi Sang... Yeah. Yeah it makes sense for Gloom to be there. I don't think I need to go into too much detail on that.

Lastly, we have Pride for Yi Sang. Pride represents actions done purely for their benefit, while their consequences are ignored. This, I think, is meant to reflect the dilemma Yi Sang was going through during his time at N Corp. He had to do whatever Gubo was telling him to just to survive, and had to ignore the damage he would be indirectly contributing to by helping him.

Before we end off, let's briefly look at the dialogue lines.

Outis's lines are quite... interesting, in my opinion. Her Awakening line reflect the theme of rejecting feigned, meaningless kindness, which I think further affirms Outis's distrust towards others.

However, I think her Corroded line here is much more interesting. It seems to represent Outis's fear of being abandoned. Not only that, but it implies it's something that happened to her at least once before. Perhaps I wasn't that far off about the idea of Outis suffering through something herself that made her learn to feign kindness herself.

Yi Sang's lines on the other hand seem to be more focusing on his own inability to do anything about his situation. His Awakening line reflects his worries about not being able to truly help anyone, while his Corroded line seems to show him falling fully into hopelessness and lamenting over the situation only getting worse.

So, there you go! I might at some point later analyze Sunshower Heathcliff once I figure out a proper method to analyzing IDs, but that day isn't today.

[thranduel]

why byler being endgame makes the most sense and would be the most beautiful outcome

*these are my own personal opinions!!

before i start, this is what shawn levy said in the stranger things worlds turned upside down book: “our show is an anthem for the marginalised and imperfect, precisely because the duffer brothers know from experience that the popular and easy road is rarely the most interesting one, and that character, grit, connection, and soul are bred in the same moments that challenge us most.”

what better way to represent the true meaning of the show than to have a beautifully written slowburn queer relationship between two main characters that started out as childhood best friends and ended up falling in love? it would be SO beautiful and powerful. mike and will also have the closest and most genuine relationship in the show already, and i can’t think of any other characters that fit together so perfectly.

not only that, but usually when there’s a love triangle in a show, the couple that kisses and starts dating right at the beginning doesn’t end up together anyways. the endgame couple is usually slowburn with proper build up that makes it all so much more worth it (and the characters in this relationship are the ones that have known each other for much longer. in fact, childhood best friends falling in love is the most popular romance trope and that’s exactly what mike and will are). this also allows viewers to notice and appreciate all the details and subtext throughout the entire show which is exactly what the writers want. they create their story so that people can become fully invested in it. having things shoved in your face and accepting it without question is so boring and pointless, especially when it’s so forced and repetitive.

when it comes to writing, world building and film-making, you’re supposed to analyse the characters; who they are individually, their relationships, their behaviour, their actions. the writers want people to go back, rewatch and think “wow, it was there all along”, and they do it so well that it’s not completely obvious to everyone but it’s still clearly there. that’s what makes it so beautiful and powerful. it also makes you realise that these writers truly do care about their work and they think about every little detail. even if the actual characters aren’t fully aware of things all the time, it’s like they slowly discover it with the audience and it makes you feel like you’re a part of this journey with them.

but when you have the same couple in the show with the most repetitive storylines (argue, lie to each other, get split up, reunite) AND they don’t feel like equals and can’t even be themselves with each other (they both literally admitted this in season 4), people are going to get bored and frustrated. many people already are. it’s also quite heartbreaking to see characters you love in a relationship where they can’t even be themselves. both el and mike deserve better. they deserve to be with someone who they feel comfortable with and someone who can give them the love they deserve. and just because mike was the first person to help el outside the lab and el has saved mike’s life doesn’t mean they had to rush into a romantic relationship especially when el didn’t even know what romance was. they already had such a beautiful and genuine friendship, and it’s clear they love and care for each other so much, but the show has proven over and over again that they just don’t work together romantically. they both met during a traumatic time and they became emotionally attached to each other because they helped each other when they needed it, but that’s still not a reason to start dating someone. having a partner is SO much more than that. they don’t even feel like equals, they don’t understand each other, they don’t have meaningful heart-to-heart conversions, they lie to each other, they don’t share any similar interests or hobbies (i don’t even think they know what the other likes?) and they can’t even be themselves with each other. it’s not fair or healthy to either of them. that’s why i’m tired of people saying things like “oh, you don’t ship this? that means you hate the characters and don’t want them to be happy”. like what, are you kidding me?! we love them and we want them to be happy, that’s literally why we’re saying this!!!! seriously, understanding the characters and realising they don’t work together shows you love and care about them MORE because you want the best for them. how do people not understand that?

even the general audience can tell when a relationship just isn’t working anymore. so many viewers didn’t feel any sort of emotion during mike’s monologue. firstly, because it was forced and full of lies, but also because they’re just sick of seeing the same couple and mike’s character being reduced to el’s boyfriend. that’s literally all he’s there for at this point. and if his behaviour doesn’t get explained in season 5 and he just became an asshole to will AND el for no reason, that’s just horrible and inconsistent writing. “he’s just a teenager” or “he’s a bit dumb” isn’t an excuse anymore. if the general audience hates mike and he doesn’t even feel like the same character from season 1 and 2, that just shows how bad he looks and they need to fix that.

will has also been involved too much now which is why they can’t end it with him suffering. this child has been suffering his entire life, even before the events of season 1. including him in this love triangle just to use his feelings for mike as a plot device to force mike and el back together is not only horrible writing, but it’s just simply disgusting, unnecessary and cruel (but i don’t think they would ever do that. they know what they’re doing). they’ve also kept mike’s feelings ambiguous during all this and they’re dragging it out. if will was going to get rejected, it would’ve already happened by now. or if he wasn’t going to end up with mike, they would’ve introduced a new love interest for him or made him not have one at all.

they’ve also done an incredible job at slowly introducing the possibility of byler this season, because most of the audience felt sorry for will. we saw his POV throughout this season and he was in every single mike and el scene (except for their fight). this was definitely intentional. the fact that mike couldn’t even tell his own girlfriend he loved her (even when she was sobbing in front of him) until will confessed his OWN feelings for him and gave him the painting just tells us that will is the person mike truly needs and values the most. mike only confides in will and he can only be his true self around him too. they have the closest and most genuine relationship in the entire show and they’re focused on differently compared to the other relationships. from the very beginning, they’ve made it clear that mike and will have something special. not only that, but there’s so many unanswered questions with them too. mike hasn’t even realised that the painting was from will and that he confessed his own feelings to him, and when he finds out, i think it’ll change everything. mike and will need each other more than anything and they haven’t even realised it yet.

byler also has the most popular and well-loved romance tropes: childhood best friends, first friend, soulmates, slowburn, each other’s safe place, sunshine and sunshine protector, angst, thinking their feelings won’t be reciprocated when they already are, understanding each other better than anyone else, “it’s always been you”.

that’s why mike and will ending up together is the only thing that would make sense narratively and it would be best for all the characters too.

[ironyadays]

About Monster High the Movie 2

Ok so I know it's been a couple of weeks ever since the Monster High live action sequel released, and whilst I did enjoy the movie and had a nice time while watching it, there is a specific topic regarding it that I can't stop thinking about it, and probably my biggest issue with the movie and it's writing: The movie's allegory of witchcraft and queerness

Ok so first and foremost, I want to preface this by stating that this wasn't exactly an issue of mine regarding the first Monster High Live Action movie. The first movie establishes a metaphor that seems to be the key point of what will be the entire Live Action franchise, the idea that monsters are an allegory for BIPOC communities and humans are a metaphor for whiteness.

And even if some moments weren't laid out exactly the best way, and even if it definitely can't escape the problems every other DCOM or NOM has writingwise, the metaphor the movie was going for works in a way: Clawdeen's struggles represents the situation of biracial individuals struggling to find their place both among white communities and BIPOC communities, and with Komos' story and how it stems from his father being killed by humans due to the rejection of monsters to include him in their community and in their safe spaces as their own kind, it kind of nails into the idea of biracial kids belonging in BIPOC spaces as well, especially due to the lack of safety among white spaces. And especially, looking at the fact clawdeen has been mostly "monster presenting" for her entire life, it could be especially read as the situation of non whitepresenting biracial kids and maybe even some sort of criticism against the one drop rule and adjacent beliefs. Of course you can agree more or less with the execution of the message, but at the end of the day, the message is there and there are no elements in universe that contradict it.

The second movie though

Similarly, the second movie goes for an overarching allegory that is, personally, quite direct in its execution. Having the element of witchcraft been introduced during the first movie, the second movie develops into what witchcraft exactly entails in this universe, and especially leans of the idea that, if monsters are an allegory of POC and humans are an allegory of whiteness, witchcraft is an allegory of queerness, which essentially would make Draculaura an allegory of the experiences of queer children of color (the most obvious evidence being the "going back into the broomcloset" line).

At first glance, I had the same positive outlook for this allegory as I did while watching the first movie: the way draculaura describes witchcraft she does it as an irrepressible part of herself, and the character of Zamara would represent the danger that exclusively white queer spaces can pose, sometimes, for queer individuals of color, and that POC spaces can't marginalise them and leave them exposed to danger. Kind of reminding me about what certain figures like James Baldwin discussed regarding queer white men in comparison to queer black men.

However, when I rewatched the movie after discussing it with a mutual of mine, @lesbianemivanda, I realised one thing that made me have a PRETTY big issue with how this allegory is done. The way witchcraft is portrayed in the second movie versus the first one, it makes it seem as if witches are inherently dangerous and hated by themselves, not ostrasiced just as an "extension of humans". And especially Toralei's character is the one who causes the most harm to this allegory.

If we go back to the first movie, witchcraft is stated to be a dirty practice from humans. The way it is described especially after Draculaura is caught by Clawdeen and Frankie and with the interactions between Dracula and Draculaura during the end of the movie, the general implication we kind of get is that, whilst the war between vampires and witches is mentioned, witchcraft is hated because it is seen as an extension of humankind and thus, monsters associate it with humans. But never because of perceiving exclusively the craft as something harmful against monsters.

Now, what do we get in the first half an hour of the second movie?? Toralei waltzes in after coming back from Scaris and states that she hates witches, and after showing her scars left from having been the victim of a coven that tortured and tried to kill her and her pack, which kind of already bases her beliefs on trauma, she even goes as far as to explain how a lot of witch elements like wraith silver are inherently dangerous and lethal to monsters, to the point to imply they were created specifically with the pursuit of harming and potentially killing them. The same Toralei who is shown passive-aggressively stating that she deems Clawdeen as a human, yet never in the entire movie makes any move against her or any other HuMons, is shown to actively despise witches and establish them, not human witches or even just humans, but witches in general, as an absolute threat to monsterkind.

And the worst part about this? Zamara actually reveals at the latter part of the movie that she was the one who essentially caused Draculaura to develop an interest in witchcraft, essentially spying her and manipulating her from the shadows to execute her plan to kill all vampires. An idea that I definitely consider something that actively hindered this movie's allegory because it kind of implies draculaura was "taunted" into liking witchcraft (the way several conservative outlets will state that queer media "indoctrinates" children to become queer) and maybe not even being a true part of herself, it was such an unnecessary moment and it just causes harm to the overall message.

So essentially the movie, even if it wasn't its intention, proved that Toralei's beliefs and prejudice against witches and witchcraft, whilst it's being simultaneously represented it as an irrepressible part of some people, about it being a dangerous craft meant to target and seek harm upon monsters, were based on reason, and she was right. The last point you would like to make in a movie allegorically about prejudice against minorities of any kind.

It is absolutely saddening to see this because this is a very much important discussion to be had among queer and poc communities, where many queer poc feel ostracised and left out of their communities out of homophobia and transphobia, a lot of times under the guise that queerness is a "white thing" or at least a "western thing". The fact that the only monster we see interact with witchcraft is Draculaura, whilst every other witch is human, the fact that Toralei specifically is disdainful of witchcraft essentially out of trauma and several other arguments the very same movie gives validity to, and Zamara essentially having been behind Draculaura being interested in witchcraft all this time, all of this gives me such a sour taste to what could have been a rounded and exquisite allegory for the experiences of queer BIPOC.

And no, having Ellis AT THE VERY LAST MOMENT stop his mom to save Draculaura's life doesn't change this, this is just a "not all white people" moment rather than anything. If we had been shown other monsters who practiced witchcraft who had to live in hiding in the human world, constantly at the danger of being targeted, because they aren't welcome in monster spaces, it would have been a very much lovely element that would reinstate that witchcraft is a part of who these individuals are, that should not be repressed, and that is not some kind of trend or a "human thing". In that circumstance, Ellis doing what he does, even after being part of his mother's plan to kill Draculaura, and then changing his mind to save her life would have felt absolutely different, but alas, this isn't the case.

So yeah, TL; DR, whilst I consider absolutely great that they went with the route to use witchcraft as a way to code queer poc experiences, I feel like the allegory wasn't done exactly the best way, to the point in universe it is quite easy to excuse the bigotry against witches in comparison to the bigotry against HuMons in the first movie.

Extra: To end in a more positive note, if we are talking about the Monster High second live action movie, I have to say the last conversation between Clawdeen and Toralei was absolutely wonderful and I can't stop thinking about the "We're were-creatures Wolf. We share the moon" line while Toralei traces Clawdeen's scar, and Clawdeen just saying "I guess we do" THIS IS TOO CUTE.

[neerons]

kei has changed?? I couldn't see the most recent events like when she fakes her death and when she has an office romance, how has Kei and the protagonist's relationship progressed during those events to the current sacrificial lover event??? Has there been any change or are they still at a standstill??? I like Kei's stories, it's my favorite because her stories are very real for a person who experienced a horrible trauma and is still trapped in it. I just want to know your opinion about her progress as a person and as a couple.

Hi hi!

Has Kei and MC's relationship evolved?

There has been evolution in their relationship, definitely! The problem is that, as always, both Kei and MC, but especially Kei, struggle to understand their love for one another. Yet, they both know they want to be together. I apologize if this post is a bit long, but since you don't have the context for all stories I figured explaining everything would make it easier to understand.

First of all, I’d like to mention that I don't fully remember or completely understand everything because 1. it's quite complicated to understand this story and 2. I'm a little dumb dumb? I don't always remember everything from the older stories since it's been some time since I've visited them, and while I studied psychology I’m not an expert concerning traumas. But what I get from his story is that basically, MC feels "true love" towards Kei, while Kei feels "romance" towards her. Which means that they have two different ways of loving each other. Kei is clueless about how to love someone, and MC, while she does love Kei, has trouble seeing him as a "crush". She doesn’t experience her feelings for him the same way she would for a man who represents her ideal, like Tom Cruise or her Boss at the EAC. This is why, Kei’s motive is now for MC to finally feel romantic feelings for him, so he pushed himself to do things for the sake of getting her attention (becoming a MI6 agent, sleeping with her in an ordinary way, etc…)

In the previous stories, starting from Paranormal Case Files, Kei and MC got to understand that they ultimately didn't want to be apart, even if they didn't understand if they loved each other like an ordinary couple. They know they love each other, as in they have affection, trust, think of each other as special, and feel happy being together. But they feel confused, especially Kei, as to what loving someone means. This is because Kei’s concept of love has been twisted by the men at Church, and by Caleb Townsend, who is a friend of Chad and Anne.

When it comes to Kei and MC’s relationship, I think the problem is the foundation of their relationship. Since Kei grew up thinking love is disgusting, it’s hard for him to act in an ordinary way naturally, since his ordinary has been twisted. As for MC, I’m currently not sure what could explain why she struggles to affirm her love for him, but it has been highlighted in Sacrificial Lover that she still cannot understand why she doesn’t feel romantic feelings towards Kei, even though a huge change happened in their couple.

Their sexual intimacy

The biggest change that currently happened in their relationship is when Kei and MC finally made love passionately, with no domination. Ever since Kei came back to London with MC and Yuzuru (and stopped acting as a priest), he felt an intense sexual desire for MC, which is unusual for him. Kei has often expressed that he doesn't particularly feel lust very strongly. However, he recently realised that he used to control his desire through domination all this time. Which is why, it was a huge improvement for him to finally listen to his own desires, he who has always done everything to put others first, resulting in him neglecting himself.

This moment in their intimacy was special for them, as it was the first time Kei could embrace sexuality and love for his own pleasure as well, and not just to appeal to MC’s own concept of sex and love. It was mentioned that his movements were finally guided by his desire. He did not just sleep with her the ordinary way because he felt it was necessary to get her love. Kei also thought to himself before that he didn’t feel the need to tie her up during sex anymore, which shows that he was psychologically ready to stop repressing his sexual desire.

While all is well and good, and even if MC admits to herself that it was the best sex of her life, she still wonders why she doesn’t seem satisfied. Her love for Kei is still blurry for her, even if what they currently experience together represents her "ideal" (I can’t explain why she feels that way, I don’t know yet. The answer will probably come to light once they both are done fighting Kei’s trauma).

Sacrificial Lover’s plot twist

Soon after that, the biggest plot twist happens in the Sacrificial Lover story. I won’t explain too much because it’s too long and I don’t want to spoil a lot. Reading the story is the best experience after all! Anyway, while the GoE (Kei’s spy agency) are on a mission to capture Caleb Townsend, Kei and MC are invited by the target himself to his mansion for dinner. This is actually a trap, but MC and Kei are aware of this and willingly go to uncover the truth and successfully finish the mission. During this evening, a lot of revelations are made about Kei’s past to MC, and his connection to Caleb. A horrible event happens to MC and Kei, which is a long and gore moment that is not for everyone to read.

Other horrible truths come to light about Kei’s trauma which involve the Romleys, but what interests us more here is even more shocking for Kei and MC. Caleb reveals to MC that the choker she wears is a copy of the choker his own mother was wearing, and that he was the one who had sent Kei this choker and copied Chad’s handwriting in a letter (remember that Kei thought Chad, aka his grandfather, was the one who had sent him the choker so he could gift it to his special lady. But it was not Chad who had sent it, so he was fooled by Caleb, who he had forgotten existed).

Kei then decided to give the choker to MC soon after meeting her, as a sign of domination at first, and because he thought it would look good on her. Then, the choker became much more meaningful to them and became a symbol of their love as they grew closer, but this symbol will be shattered as they realised that Caleb had been spying on them through the listening device he had hidden in the choker from the very beginning. He had listened to everything they said to each other, and even watched a few things happen through Kei bear (the little bear plushie Kei had gifted MC). Caleb got to hide a listening device and camera in the bear when it had to be repaired recently, but MC didn’t really realise even though the bear had more conversational skills after its reparations.

They learned that everything they had experienced, everything they felt as part of their emotional and physical intimacy was stolen from them by this wicked man. When I read this and imagined what it feels like, I felt a bit sick honestly. This revelation happened towards the end of the story, so I’m not sure how much impact it’s going to have on their relationship, but they want to get some sort of revenge on him. They decided to store the choker after removing the listening device for the time being, instead of MC wearing it since they now feel disgusted by it (which is legitimate…).

Kei’s psychological state

Right after learning another thing that Caleb has done to Kei when he was 8 that triggered his trauma, Kei started screaming uncontrollably because he remembered things he wanted to forget (and had forgotten to protect himself). Thanks to Theo, Josh, Yuzuru and MC, the mission in capturing Caleb ended in a success, but Caleb still got to escape after being delivered to the client. As for Kei, after being forced to remember things he had forgotten, he is left with dissociative amnesia, which sometimes makes him become his 8 year old self again. So now, MC often sees his child self and it’s yet another thing that is hard to deal with in their couple. However, they’re willing to fight and face Kei’s trauma in order to find their Eden, which I’m so happy about because their suffering is finally going to be over.

Also, like I also mentioned previously, the problem in their relationship is the foundation of it. At least that’s what I think. That’s why I think a plot twist like that is actually intelligent, as it might push them to "start again" with a healthy, trauma-free basis once they give that bastard what he deserves. And they’ll finally have their intimacy. Without someone spying on their connection that they developed through literal blood, sweat and tears.

Throughout Kei’s story, their love has often been described or depicted as a poison to them, it can be their downfall which will lead them to death. It's also something I've noticed, but compared to the others' routes, MC and Kei get physically scarred far more often and have faced death multiple times for their love. I absolutely love Kei’s stories as well as they’re written in a captivating way. They hurt, but I’m sure the light at the end of the tunnel will be worth it. I wonder how things will go from there, and how Chad and Anne will act when they learn everything. Or do they know more than they let on? I’m excited for the next story and I hope they finally find their Garden of Eden 🥹

Very sorry for the long answer, but the questions required me to be precise since I had to mention a good chunk of their evolution. Thank you for the ask and I hope you get to read the stories you missed sometime soon! ❤️