#because you don't know what version of yourself is the Real one or the Good one or the Authentic one so you avoid socializing

[muu-kun]

[boxingcleverrr]

Popular Hades & Persephone "retellings" are, rightly, getting dunked on all over the socials right now and, as a Pagan who has an altar to the Queen, I could not be happier. But also, I feel like a lot of people miss WHY they're bad - aside from just plain bad writing and lazy tropes. Which are, yeah, also REALLY bad.

Pretty much all retellings try to wave away, or excuse, or twist the whole kidnapping bit. And I actually do have sympathy and understanding for why, when speaking from a modern perspective.

But honestly...you gotta get over it. There are other stories to play fix-it with, not this one.

The Abduction is The Thing.

Were I a little more sober I could bring up chapter and verse of the Hymn to Demeter but frankly, if you know even the middle school mythology curriculum version of the story, you SHOULD know the themes. The story of Persephone was one mothers and daughters in the ancient world held dear, because it was a reality: you will, one day, be swept away from your home to go cleave to a man you most likely know nothing about. You will miss your mother, but chances are very good that he will be a good husband, once you get to know him, certainly better than Zeus or Ares, and he will make you a queen of his home.

Leaving home to marry was often scary, and violent (look up the history of the tradition of Bridesmaids, if you don't already know it - they were originally decoys on the marriage road). Centuries later we'd have tales like Beauty & The Beast serving the same function: comfort, hope, you are leaving your safe loving home to figure life out with a (often older, powerful) stranger. Your trauma over this sudden ending of your childhood made manifest in a Beast, or a God of The Underworld.

It's wonderful that we don't NEED stories like this anymore to comfort us (here, at least, in this culture). But if you try to force them into modern vernacular it just will not work, not really, because you're gutting out the whole point just to have a more tidy romantic male hero.

I have read MANY very good ...novelizations? fanfic(? however you would frame them, but they're certainly not "retellings"), etc. that simply take advantage of the blank spaces in the myth, and there are many!

It's not explicit that sexual assault happens - "The Rape of Persephone" as a title was coined in much earlier eras, when the word was just as often used to simply refer to abduction.

"She was starving!" the gods didn't need to eat. So it's easy to read her eating the Pom seeds as a deliberate choice on her part. Like, shit, people, scholars have written whole papers on the symbolism of this moment, between marriage rites and even yeah, Seph choosing both worlds with her husband's knowing consent.

And that, I think, is the real heart of the thing. People want an utterly mundane, spelled-out story here, as opposed to what it really is, has always been, just like any other myth or religious parable: IT'S A METAPHOOOOOOR.

They don't need to be destined, or meet at a goddamned BALL and then CONSPIRE to fake her kidnapping, or shit, I once saw one where Hades got MIND CONTROLLED by Zeus?! Jesus.

Persephone was yoinked into the Underworld against her will.

That's how it went.

I don't mean this in a "stay out of my belief system!" way, shit I'm a white American chick with delusions of witchery. I mean this in a "stop stressing yourself out trying to make things palatable" way:

This is a very real, very precious myth to many people, BECAUSE for at least that one event, Persephone had no autonomy, BECAUSE for thousands of years most women had no autonomy. Erasing that, sanitizing the fact that a girl is ripped out of the spring, from her mother's arms, is erasing the thing that gave comfort to women for centuries. And people can and should still find power and healing in it now!

Fill in the blanks the story leaves in whatever manner seems fit to you, there's plenty of room, but. Come the fuck on.

[candylix]

blow my mind | bang chan

Pairing • Chan x GN!Reader Summary • You have a test today and you haven't studied at all, but you're not worried. Why? Because you have the ability to read minds, and you'll be sitting next to the smartest guy in class. Unfortunately, his thoughts have strayed from the test and into very dirty territory. Genre • college au, smut, fluff WC • 1.7k Content • no pronouns used but reader does have a vagina, mind reading, dirty thoughts about: hand holding 🥰, public sex, fingering, dry humping, unprotected piv penetration, orgasm denial. Indented paragraphs indicate what's happening in his mind and not real life.

Ethically, reading minds is a very dubious subject. As far as you know, you're the only person in the world with supernatural abilities. No one would ever know you're reading their mind, but you have high enough standards for yourself to only use your mind reading capabilities in emergencies.

This was an emergency.

You have a test today, and didn't study. But, you do have a plan. You are going to sit beside one of your classmates and cheat.

You walk into the lecture hall, and scan the room. The class is arranged with tier seating and long tables, and as you work your eyes around the room, you spot him at the very top. You've had a few projects with Chan before, so you know how intelligent he is. You've talked a lot more over the course of the semester, so it wouldn't be weird to sit beside him.

"Ready for the test?" you ask, approaching the table he's sitting at.

He looks up at you and smiles.

"I hope so, I've been cramming all night for this. You?"

"Nope." You grin and give him a thumbs up, pulling out the chair next to him and taking a seat.

"Glad to see you're confident," he laughs.

The rest of the class trudges in, and the test begins.

First thing you write is your name. Easy enough.

You concentrate on Chan, and peer into his mind. He's reading the first question, and after a few minutes of words formulating in his brain, he writes down an answer. You always found it interesting to see how different people think, and Chan's thoughts are muddied as he tries to answer the questions. But when he figures out an answer, everything comes into total focus.

You rewrite his answers on your paper, making sure to use different words. As much as you dislike doing it, this isn't your first time cheating on a test like this, so you know how to not get caught.

A particularly tricky question is next, and you can see his thoughts wander from the test, to the class, to... you. You see yourself in his imagination.

He's daydreaming. This is not good, you need him to focus on the test.

You think about tuning into someone else's mind, but you're captured by what he imagines.

He reaches out his hand, gently placing it over yours. He squeezes it lightly.

You have to look at your hand to make sure it wasn't real. His imagination is extremely vivid. You see movement out of the corner of your eye, which turns out to be Chan shaking his head. Just like that, the image disappears and he's back to thinking about the question.

What was that?

You don't have time to ponder what that could mean when he starts writing down his answer, and you have to quickly catch up to him before he stops thinking about it.

The next question also seems to be giving him trouble, because he stops to think about it for a long time. Eventually, he drifts off into another daydream. He imagines the classroom again, and himself scooting his chair next to you. The version of you in his imagination rests your head on his shoulder. It's very cute, all things considered.

Then it dawns on you. He has a crush on you.

Well isn't that just adorable. It would be cuter if he would just get back to the test before you both fail.

He turns his head to look at you, resting peacefully on his shoulder. He smiles and leans in to kiss you.

Your fingers instinctively brush your lips. It's not rare for people to have vivid sensory imaginations, but you almost never get a tactile experience from your power. He must be imagining the feeling of touching you, enough that you feel it through him.

If only he had Aphantasia, and not the worlds strongest imagination. You don't think either of you will be passing this test.

He moves his hand from on top of yours to caressing your thigh. Then, it moves closer to the waistband of your pants-

You cough loudly, breaking his focus. The image disappears in an instant. You see the muddied words coming back, and he's finally thinking about the test again.

You can feel heat rising to your cheeks. Was he imagining what you think he was imagining?

He has been stuck on this question for a while, so you probably wont find anyone else in class who's still working on it. And even if you could, you'd have to check the minds of the entire class. You're stuck peeping in Chan's mind if you want to possibly pass the test.

It's feels a bit strange to be the subject of Chan's romantic fantasies, but not in a bad way. He's handsome, kind, smart, funny in an awkward kind of way that you've always found charming...

You've never thought about him that way before. But knowing how he feels, you'll definitely be thinking about him now.

You realize you're starting to drift off the same way Chan was, and go back to concentrating on your cheating scheme.

Luckily, he's focused on the right subject now, and he flies through the answers. He's almost too fast, and you have to leave some answers half done in order to keep pace. Hopefully you'll still get half a mark for those ones.

You're on the last question now. He takes some time to read and reread the question, and when he starts to think of an answer, he goes back and reads the question one more time. You're worried, the tricky questions are when he starts to nod off.

He rests his head on his hand and his mind wanders back to his imagination. At this point, you think you should just try to answer the question yourself, but your mind freezes when he continues where he left off.

His hand moves up your thigh, and between your legs. He rubs you over the fabric of your pants, but the friction is enough to feel your core start to pulse. You start moaning involuntarily, and Chan smirks to himself. 'Quiet, we're still in class' he whispers. He pretends to keep writing with one hand, while the other slips into your pants. You're not wearing underwear, so he can easily move his fingers to circle your clit. You cover your mouth with your fist to stifle a moan. The pace is slow, but you're able to pretend to be working while he works his fingers. You find yourself mindlessly rocking into him. He increases his speed, and you feel your orgasm building while you try to suppress another moan. Your head leans back as you buck into his hand, and you feel yourself about to- Suddenly, his fingers stop. Your core is still throbbing, but he takes his hand out of your pants. You look at him pleadingly, and he pats his lap for you to sit on. You look around the classroom. Everyone is too focused on their tests to notice you getting up. You stand to straddle him, and before you can sit down, he unbuttons your pants and pulls them down. If anyone turned around to look, they would see him groping your ass. He guides you down to sit on his lap, and you feel his bulge prodding against your folds. "Finish yourself on me," he whispers. You try to turn your head to see if anyone's watching, but he stops you. "Just look at me. Don't worry about anyone else." Nervously, you rub yourself on his bulge, and even under the fabric you can feel how hard he is. When you feel your orgasm building up again, you forget about the possibility of anyone seeing and hump him harder. His clothed dick against your bare cunt clouds your mind, and you try to get as much friction against him as you can. You buck into him faster, and you feel him getting harder as he starts to rock against you. You feel yourself about to cum again, but he lifts you up onto the desk and lays you on your back. "Chan, please," you whine. You can't take this anymore, and you rub your legs together to feel any sort of release. He pulls your legs apart, opening your soaking wet pussy to the world. Before you can even complain, his pants are down, and his massive cock is throbbing against your entrance. He easily slides himself into you, and you feel him moving up your walls. He fills you up completely, staying there for a moment before pulling out and slamming himself right back in. He rams into you, hitting your sweet spot. His hand is back on your clit, rubbing circles while he continues his ruthless pace with his cock pounding in and out of your throbbing core. He slams into you faster and faster as he chases his own high, losing control as his body acts on instinct. You're almost at your limit, and you feel your orgasm about to peak-

"Time's up everyone! Turn in your tests," the professor announces to the class.

You feel your core pulsing as you snap back to reality. Your heart is beating loudly in your chest, and you realize none of that was real, despite it being incredibly vivid. Somehow, you lost yourself in his fantasy.

You look over to Chan, and notice his erection as he quickly writes something down for the last question. You look back to your own test, and see the empty space where you should've wrote your answer. You have no idea what to write. You don't even remember what the question was.

All you remember was Chan pounding into you at a brutal pace.

You look back to Chan as he stands, and when he makes eye contact, his cheeks turn red and he looks away. He hurriedly stuffs all his things into his bag and speed walks down the steps.

If you want to pass this class, you can never sit next to him again. You definitely should never read his mind again.

However... you do want to know what else he's thinking about when you're near him.

And you really want to know what he's like outside of his imagination.

EPILOGUE:

Two weeks later, your test scores are posted to the schools website. You click on the link to see how you did. As it loads in, you wait with baited breath.

You failed the test.

A/N: I hope someone went to look up what Aphantasia was, and suddenly everything made sense in their life when they realized they have it. And they have to live their life knowing that an incredibly important part of their worldview and way of thinking was discovered by reading a kpop x reader smut fic.

read part two here!

[evasive-anon]

Jason Attacking Tim at Titans Tower

Fanon vs Canon

We've all seen the versions in fanfiction but I'm not so sure everyone's seen the original so if you're one of those batfam fans who doesn't want to read the comics (regardless of reasons) but you are curious about how it actually went this is for you.

What I'm addressing:

What does Jason actually say to Tim during the attack?

Did Jason drug all the other Titans?

Did Jason really wear a Robin costume?

Did Jason slit Tim's throat or call him replacement?

Did Jason actually break Tim's bo staff?

Was Tim crying or scared?

Did Jason write a message on the wall in Tim's blood?

Did Jason's eyes glow green?/Did he follow pit rage mechanics?

Panels and details below. This is a LONG one.

What did Jason actually say to Tim during the attack?

Dialogue in fanfiction during the Titans Tower attack varies based on what kind of fic you're reading but usually its either 'time to clip Replacement's wings' if its staying a beatdown whump 'or oh no precious lil bby why is no one watching you' if its an accidental child acquisition. Not judging either option, but this ain't about them its about the real shit.

Look at these opening lines:

Hey, Tim. I was here first.You're the Red Hood. You've been cleaning up Gotham the easy way. Easy? What do you know about easy, Tim? You had a father that looked after you. You went to a private school, right? You slept in a bed. I slept on the streets, I lived in the alleyways in Gotham. Trying to survive. Until Bruce took me in. I trained as hard as I could. I did whatever he asked. . . at least at first. But it didn't matter. They said I wasn't tough enough to be robin. But today, they say you are. Show me, Tim. Show me what you have that I didn't.

Jason really puts himself out there in all of his dialogue in this encounter, the struggle of having to fight for anything and everything he got in life, even the things that came to everyone else for free, and then being told he wasn't even good enough for the things he fought for.

There's a trope in fanfics that if Jason knew Tim stalked Batman and forced his way into being Robin that it would change how Jason felt about the situation but that's even addressed in this comic:

You were a kid, worried about how Batman was spiraling down into darkness. You spent weeks tracking the dark knight. Solving a mystery no one else could. You discovered who he was behind that mask. Millionaire Bruce Wayne. You were so pleased with yourself, I'm sure that you forgot who you were really dealing with. I know Bruce Wayne. And let me tell you, Tim if someone was trying to find out who Batman really was. If someone was stalking him for weeks. He'd know about it. You can't be that good. I am. He let you find him. And I bet he said the same thing to you as he did to me, didn't he? That you had a talent to make a difference in Gotham. That he needed someone he could trust in war on crime. That you were one of a kind. The light to his darkness. Robin, the Boy Wonder.

Tim saying 'I am' is really such a moment that doesn't come through in text because he is right that he really did do that but I also completely understand why Jason wouldn't believe it.

TBH my favorite part is how done Tim honestly sounds with Jason thoughout all his trauma dumping. Like imagine a grown man who used to work the same part time job as you breaking into your house, dressing up in your work uniform, ranting about how much the job ruined his life while he beats your ass??? God, and he probably had to write a fucking report about it after. RIP Timmy.

What do you want? Do you want to be Robin again? Is that it? You... want to take it away from me? Why in the hell would I ever want that? Don't you get it? When I died no one cared! No one remembered me. Are you completely insane? No one could forget you. I've spent my entire career wearing this mask under your shadow. I had to convince Batman to let me try this. All because he'll never stop blaming himself for what happened to you. You ask me, that's the only reason he hasn't taken you down. He's holding back. But me? No freakin' way. That's the Robin I wanted to see. Still. You do realize the whole idea of training a teenager to fight against something he'll never eradicate is a mistake. It didn't even surprise anyone when I died. When I failed. I failed-- but I'm still beating you. Do you think you're that good now?! Do you really, Tim? Yes.

Tim bashing Jason across the face as he says 'no freakin' way'? *chefs kiss*

Jason drugging the other Titans to knock them out?

Little bit true, Kory was actually just already away from the tower and BB and Cyborg were about to bounce because of the drama going on with Donna's return but Jason like super tazes them and then drugs Raven who he thought already went through enough shit without him knocking her out violently.

Note: Jason says in the text here that he never rolled with Cyborg or BB but like he actually did in some comics so?? The continuity is lie I guess idk.

Did he show up in Red Hood gear or a Robin costume?

Both tbh but he spent most of the time in the Robin costume but bro actually made a stripper rip away version of his Red Hood gear so he could dramatically reveal the Robin costume underneath. I can't believe no one ever includes that in their fics its so fucking funny.

Does he call Tim 'replacement' or slit his throat?

No, this came from a Batman comic with Hush not Teen Titans. That incident takes place in a graveyard not Titans Tower and he calls Tim pretender not replacement.

Does Jason break Tim's staff?

Tragically, no. The bo staff snap would have been iconic. Instead he just takes Tim's staff and beats Tim up with it and breaks stuff. BUT!! He uses it to bust a statue in the TITANS MEMORIAL ROOM which is a place in Titans Tower just for having statues of dead previous titans and Jason is rightfully pissed he didn't get one. Like Tim is correct in saying no one forgot him still but like I would be hurt too if all my friends made cool statues of friends that died and then just left my zombie ass out, like wtf.

Note: I am seriously losing my shit that I have never seen someone bring up the memorial room in a fanfic. That is so much angst material. 😭

Tim crying/ being scared?

Hell no. He's a fucking Robin you know he's being a sassy boy the whole time, even towards the end when he's about done he's still saying he's her and I love Tim for that.

Note: There are a few different times where Tim does a flippy Robin move and then Jason just fucking copies it like flexing that he can do it too, and its just so petty and stupid he's trying so hard to be better than an actual child. 💀I get why in the context of the situation but its still so ridiculous.

Message on the wall in Tim's blood?

TBH I really don't know for sure on this one?? Like its implied that he did but Tim isn't bleeding all that much throughout this beatdown and like we don't see Jason do it just the Titans reacting to seeing it after. It could be Tim's blood, it could be red paint, and it could even be that Jason packed an actual bucket of blood to bring with him to write a message with after he finished. TBH the world is your oyster on this one.

Note: If anyone can find another comic where this event was brought up where they actually clarify it was Tim's blood hmu and I'll update this but I couldn't find any.

Pit rage/ glowing green eyes?

Fanon only at this point in the comics. Jason is seems to be himself and even thinks Tim and his friends are pretty cool at the end, and he's just like reflecting on if he had good friends if he would have turned out better as he leaves.

[gremlingottoosilly]

saw ur monster 141 with pup reader (!!!!) and what about kitty reader who's just the softest, sleepiest, pliant little thing, who's breed is scottish fold so her little ears are flattened on her head - and she's so small, too :(

Cat reader!! yes!! Scottish fold monster breeds have a lot more problems than their cat versions have - weak spine and problems with walking are some of them, unfortunately. You are a lot sleepier than other hybrids, practically helpless in hunting and you don't even know how to play with your prey properly - as a show breed of a domestic cat, you can only lay down in your nest and purr for the amusement of other monsters. It doesn't free you from your breeding duties, however. Soap is, by far, the worst with you. Being a werewolf, he is your natural enemy - and he might mean well when he is dragging you out of your nest so you could run and play together, but you're too lazy and get tired too fast to actually enjoy playing with him...and of course, you simply hate hate hate his enthusiasm about everything!! Seriously, you need some time to recharge, how is this man even for real? He would bite you all the time, too, and you scratch him constantly, but it only makes him want you more( he will laugh and push his face to kiss and lick you all over, and it's so gross, you just can't stop cringing( Gaz is...nice. And you hate the he is nice because he makes it hard for you to hate him. Like many cats, you don't really enjoy bathing yourself. You're doing just fine with occasional showers or licking yourself in your cat form, why would you need to take a bath every night or two?? Gaz is the only one who is capable of dragging you - Ghost could, too, but he doesn't want to waste time, so you're stuck with smiling Kyle and his enthusiasm of spreading various shower gels on your body, making you all soapy and smell like flowers( he is getting his fair share of scratches too, but if he manages to clean and play with your pussy properly, you might allow him to proceed with washing you... Ghost is a cat person, by all his heart. It's weird, to watch this big, shadowy man loom over you like you're his precious pet, but he just won't stop staring at you. It's weird and somewhat creepy, but you love receiving surprising head scratches or belly rubs. What you don't like, is when you want to capture him in belly trap with your claws, but he just disappears in a puff of shadow and escapes(( it's not fair!! Ghost allows you to scratch him, however, when he is feeling like it - after a really good sex, when you both are just laying in your ruined nest, he would push your mouth on his bicep and allows you to bite him and cover him in your marks - it will dissapear, of course, but you just look so cute, like a helpless angry kitten... Against all odds, Price is your favorite sleeping buddy. Why? Because of his body temperature, of course! Gaz is warm too, but he doesn't have this bear-type tummy on his chiseled abs for you to curl up, so you opt to sleep on Captain's chest or lap. Price always laughs when you find him in his office when you push yourself on his lap and lay your head against his warm, soft chest. He won't let you go during the night, letting you bask in his heat - you just look so precious all sleepy like this, and you meowl perfectly when he pushes his cock in your pussy, making you even warmer. You would purr in your sleep and he thinks it's just the most precious sound in the world.

[inkskinned]

oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.

[deanwinchestergf]

and why would an angel rescue me from hell? good things do happen dean. not in my experience. i'm not here to perch on your shoulder. i was getting too close to the humans in my charge. you. to everything there is a season. you made an exception for me. you're different. for what's worth, i would give anything not to have you do this. i learned my lesson while i was away, dean. i serve heaven, i don't serve men and i certainly don't serve you. but you guys aren't supposed to be there, you're not in this story. yeah, well, we're making it up as we go. i'm hunted, i rebelled and i did it all, all of it, for you. so what i'm thelma and you're louise and we're just gonna hold hands and sail off this cliff together? i need your help because you're the only one who'll help me. that's a pretty nice timing, cas. we had an appointment. what happened to you cas? you used to be human, or at least like one. but cas, you'll call right? if you get into real trouble? this is cas, guys. he has gone to the mat cut and bleeding for us so many freaking times, don't we owe him the benefit of the doubt at least? it sounds so simple when you say it like that, where were you when i needed to hear it? i was there, where were you? i'm doing this for you, dean. i'm doing this because of you. but we were family once, i would've died for you, i almost did a few times. i've lost lisa, i've lost ben and now i've lost sam. don't make me lose you too. cas, you child, why didn't you listen to me. you used to fight together, bestest of friends, actually. if you remember, then you know you did the best you could at the time. the very touch of you corrupts. when castiel first laid a hand on you in hell he was lost. i'd rather have you, cursed or not. well, i'll go with you. i prayed to you cas, every night. cas, we're getting out of here, we're going home. i mean you kept saying you didn't think it would work, did you not trust me? cas, it's me. we need you, i need you. i won't hurt dean. cause you didn't trust me? you didn't trust me. please, man, i need you here. nobody wants him here more than i do. you gave us an order, castiel, and we gave you our trust. don't lose it over one man. you really believe we three will be enough? we always have been. his true weakness is revealed. you draped yourself with the flag of heaven but ultimately, it was all about saving one human. i'm glad you're here, man. how are you, dean? and then you'll kill the angel, castiel. now that one, that i suspect would hurt something awful. and when you turn, everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. everyone except me. i'm not gonna send lucifer into battle inside cas, what if he doesn't make it? it's not an it, sam. it's cas. but you're always there, you know? i could go with you. you mean too much to me, to everything. i'm gonna cure you of your human weakness, same way i cured my own. it's a gift, you keep those. you mean we? yes, dumbass, we. we lost everything and now you're gonna bring him back. we got cas back, that's a pretty damn big win. just don't get dead again. it's good to hear your voice. so this is goodbye? but i swear if he did something to her, if she's- then you're dead to me. either get on board or walk away. i don't know what's god and what isn't, and it's driving me crazy. dean, you asked what about all of this is real. we are. you used trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt, now you can barely look at me. i think it's time for me to move on. you didn't deserve that. since when do we get what we deserve? maybe if you didn't just up and leave us. i left but you didn't stop me. i should've stopped you. you're my best friend but i just let you go. and i forgive you, of course i forgive you. i'm sorry it took me so long, i'm sorry it took me til now to say it. you did it cas. okay, cas, i need to say something. you don't have to say it, i heard your prayer. well, here's to being right. you know what every other version of you did after gripping him tight and raising him from perdition? they did what they were told, but not you.

[txttletale]

roadhogsbigbelly is doubling down. genuinely incredible (yes i am aware how deeply funny it is to start a serious post with that sentence. it is my one allotment of levity)

oh okay you just assumed that "loliporn" was involved and something that i deserved to be associated with defending and accused of making "integral to the queer identity" because of stuff that the OP (who i cannot stress enough i never followed or talked to or knew in any fucking way!) did that got called out months after i made my addition?

the rest of his post is just a very lengthy way of saying "umm if you didn't want to be called a pedophile because you were mean about stardew valley maybe you should be more careful about how you reblog from". yeah buddy im sure you apply that standard to yourself too huh. im sure you pull out your Bad Person detector every time you reblog a fucking post and beam OP with it. you literally screenshot my post about how as a trans women i get this standard uniquely applied to me and went "um its a good standard though. answer for the actions of every fucking person youve ever reblogged a post by".

and all this whole fucking schtick where he's like "ummmm im not calling you a pedophile :) i just assumed you thought 'loliporn was integral to the queer identity' based on source: i made it up and am going out of my way to repeatedly say you're agreeing with pedophiles and not being wary enough about pedophiles and that 99% of people who make the type of post im accusing you of making are pedophiles" is so fucking pathetic and if you fall for it you are a blatant transmisogynist like come the fuck on man.

i am no longer having a nice time on the computer, i am pretty fucking angry. and all this because he "doesnt have much skin in the game" but he doesn't like my stardew valley takes! yeah man real proportionate response.

not to mention the aside he makes to say 'wah wah someone told me to kill myself' amiguito do you have any fucking idea what my inbox has looked like since this entire transmisogynistic harassment campaign began a week ago? i delete those asks because i'm not into flaunting every piece of online abuse i get to make myself look like the victim in computer arguments but it has been constant and graphic! breaking news, women are people too, some of the most cutting-edge research suggests they might even have feelings!

"oh i censored her identity i dont know how she even found it" oh okay so you were anonymously pedojacketing me to your thousands of followers while vaguing about a post i made that had thousands of notes and using the same screenshot that an uncensored version of was passed around with thousands of notes as part of a transmisogynistic harassment campaign last fucking week?

how could anyone possibly have guessed it was me! it's a real mystery man it was basically witness protection. "oh but i didn't know, i didn't know she was trans", maybe he'll also say he didn't know about the harassment campaign, hey fucker, maybe apply some of the constant scrutiny you're reserving for women who are mean about farming game and apply it to yourself and consider looking into these things before baselessly making pedo accusations against someone!

this transmisogynistic crybully shit is absolutely fucking insufferable and i am absolutely sick of it and anyone who buys into it. i'm done assuming good faith or ignorance. i am not going to be a good placid little bullying target and acquiesce to this vile shit. it's truly fucking incredible that a tme guy can be found out as an actual pedophile and guys like mr. belly can immediately jump into action to use this as an opportunity to denounce a trans woman who had one interaction with him ever that consisted of five minutes spent typing an addition to a post and hitting ''reblog''. & if you don't find that sickening then straight up you are not safe for trans women to be around.

[caeunot]

johnnie guilbert x reader

➷ breeding kink plus some fluff :3

PSA: the johnnie ive written about is the fictional version we all have in our minds, we truly don't know how he actually is and it's good to make a balance to avoid any uneasy or parasocial feelings when writing about a real person.

you and johnnie have been dating for around three years and you already decided that he is the man you are going to marry, you two are both almost 30 now which is terrifying but it also is making your baby feaver worsen.

you have always wanted kids and johnnie knows that, he never was fully against it but he always looked a bit awkward when you two would talk about it.

johnnie also knows that you have an extreme breeding kink, which has led to a lot of roleplay in the bed but you feel it's time to do something a bit more official.

when one of your friends asked to babysit their 17 month old baby you agreed! one part because you love kids and other so that you can give yourself and johnnie (mainly johnnie) a feel for how it's like to be a parent.

"thanks so much you guys! we haven't had an actual break for so long we need this.", "it's our pleasure I promise we will take good care of lil jess". your friend passes her into your arms and johnnie bends down and pokes her arm. "hey jess! I'm Johnny and I'll help look after you for the next few days :D"

you start unpacking all the baby stuff like diapers the toys and milk, johnnie watches you in awe and for almost every item asks you questions about it. "and what about this?" he says pointing to a cream. "that's for diaper rashes! their bums are super sensitive so it's important to add after changing a diaper". " so u gotta like.. rub it on and stuff...".

you laugh at him and he laughs back, but his laughing stops when you mention how he will have to try change her a few times himself. eventually you two settle everything in and you teach him the basics like how to feed them and how to make the bottles.

"okay can u put in microwave for 20 seconds! she prefers it warm". johnnie put the bottle in and started staring intensively into the microwave, you can't help but let out a laugh by accident making your hand immediately smack your mouth. "okay what was that for!! I thought I was doing this properly.." you walk over to him and put your arms around his waist. "I laughed because you looked so cute doing it baby, I'd love to make you a dad"

that comment made him turn his head to the side as his face went a bit red, you remove your hands from his waist and use it to guide his face to yours and you two share a deep kiss.

that night after putting jess to sleep in her fold out crib you and johnnie cuddled on the bed while watching some tv when johnnie turns to face you, "do you think I'd make a good dad?". " johnnie are you kidding?! you would make an amazing dad! you have such an sweet nature and you are the perfect mix of playful and serious, baby your the blueprint for a perfect dad" he let out a big gummy smile after that and pulled you on top of him and you two start making out for awhile before falling asleep in each other's arms.

at the end of the weekend you two had learned a lot, you learned that johnnie actually is really good with playing with babies.. not so much the unfun stuff like diapers and spit but that's something you get used to over time. and johnnie learned that there was nothing more than he wanted at that moment than to make you a mom, the way you were to gentle and sweet to the baby and the way you knew exactly how to do everything with her. honestly he found it really hot. that's why that night after jess went back home he took your hand and started to gently lead you to the bedroom.

"johnnie you weirdo what are you doing!" you say jokingly as he closes the bedroom door and pushes you onto the bed. he leans over you and whispers in your ear, "im ready" knowing you would know exactly what he ment. you immediately reached for his face and you two share a deep kiss and slipped tongue, he picked you up slowly to push you further onto the bed and immediately took off his shirt and pants as you do the same.

he crawls towards you like a hungry animal, while sitting on your thighs he starts kissing your belly and slowly gets higher and higher till he's finally kissing your face. in between the kisses you moan out, "fuck me johnnie, fuck a baby into me". you could see how much those words did something to him because with no hesitation he immediately starts pulling down your panties, but instead of what you expected he slipped his hand in between your legs. he slipped 2 fingers in making you shudder and hold the sheets as he went back and forth inside of you before letting one finger out and using it to rub your clit slowly.. enough to where it's making you go crazy but not enough to orgasam just yet

after a few minutes he takes his soaking fingers out and licks them, "are you ready darling?" he asks you in a sweet whisper without actually giving you time to answer as he slips it in almost instantly

he starts grinding back on forth inside of you and leans forward to start kissing you and grabbing your boobs to keep him steady, after a little bit of him going slow you decided to speed things up by pushing up your hips making his dick go deeper inside you, taking him off guard he let out an accidental whimper. this was enough to make him go harder and faster.

and harder and faster he did

the whole bed was screeching as you two rocked it back and forth, you have never seen johnnie like this before, he normally is really sweet and gentle but this time he's being really rough, he's digging his nails into your back and leaving bite marks all over your chest.

"after this your all mine y/n.. this is me claiming you" and as he says that he moans and grips onto you harder and you feel his warm seed filling you.

when he took it out he immediately stuck his finger back inside to make sure you don't loose any of the baby batter he gave you.

❣

[impishjesters]

I have this idea floating around in my brain for a while about a reader who likes to draw and because they have a crush on Jax they draw him. Jax eventually steals their notebook and probably teases them about it lol.

Jax x Crushing!Reader

warning(s): innuendos, bullying/teasing, Jax note(s): Look it's me and Jax, there's gonna be innuendos or some spicy wording and bullying. It's like a packaged deal or something. A/N: If you see me mixing Angel Dust's speech into Jax, no you didn't. If you didn't notice, I don't know how to tease and not be an asshole, so pretty on the brand I guess.

Caine had given you a sketchbook upon request, it was a little different than an actual sketchbook but it did the job regardless. Ever since your arrival, your fingers have been itching to draw, there were so many new sights and so much new inspiration.

There were so many things, so why did it seem like the doodles of Jax ended up on almost every page?

Easy, you had a crush on the apathetic, mischievous jerk named Jax.

Why? Well, now that’s the million-dollar question. He’s not inherently awful, no, that’s a lie, he’s an asshole. You don’t really have a good read on him yet but he’s funny! That’s gotta be redeemable, right? However, his jokes are usually backhanded and often involve being mean at the expense of others.

Okay so he’s a walking red flag but there’s something about him that has you crushing on the purple bastard.

Looking down at the sketchbook on your lap shows another two pages filled with sketches of random things, though most of the page is filled with Jax. You had taken to sketching things back in the real world to remind yourself of home, but eventually, those sketches would involve Jax doing mundane things.

Thing’s like sitting at a table eating real food, though you took creative measures when drawing an open mouth on him, it still looked off but it was serene and domestic. Then there’s the little sketch at the bottom of the page of Jax leaning against a window and staring outside. You’d manage to nab the pose and angle when he was leaning against one of the many random geometrical-shaped things in the main room and later added in a window.

It was embarrassing that almost more than half of the pages in the book involved Jax to some degree. Some pages weren’t even subtle, the whole page taking up a detailed portrait version of the male. Sometimes you even got creative and put him in different clothing.

Thumbing through the pages you saw there weren’t that many empty pages left. You’d need to ask Caine for another one and figure out what to do with this one. It couldn’t be left out in the open, you knew Jax had keys to everyone’s room and wouldn’t put it past him to go snooping. He’d already questioned you about the sketchbook before.

You’d been so focused on the sketchbook that you hadn’t noticed the man of the hour walking up. Jax noticed your intense focus and peeked over to see the infamous sketchbook on your lap, and with practiced ease managed to yoink it right off your lap.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here? You finally showing me what you keep your nose buried into?”

A yelp left you, stumbling to get on your feet you rushed to him and began swatting at the book and of course, he’d keep raising it just out of reach. “You took it! I didn’t say you could look at that!”

“Nah, pretty sure you said I could look at it.” He continued to lower and raise the book as you jumped to grab it. Sure he was curious before, but with a reaction like that? How could he not be even more curious? What kind of seedy shit were you drawing? Or perhaps some spicy nonfamily-friendly content?

Jax ignored your frantic words and opened the book to a random page, he was going to tease you about whatever dumb stuff you drew since you always had your nose in it but all he saw were sketches of himself.

A normal person might get embarrassed and hand the book back, but he’s not a normal person. It’s a little freaky, he won’t lie. A glance downwards shows him you’ve gone silent in front of him, simply staring down while he invades the privacy that was your sketchbook.

Your face is red and you look like you’re going to cry any second.

He’s a jerk, he was going to fuck with you, and he still is, but for the moment he’s taking in all the creative little pieces involving his face. Ya know, he never really thought much about how he’d look in other clothes. Gotta say he looks pretty snazzy in something that isn’t these shitty overalls.

“You know if I didn’t know any better,” his fingers still flip through the pages as he steps closer, circling you. “I’d say you like me.”

“I don’t.”

The reply is rushed and he rolls his eyes at the blatant lie, he’ll humor you this time. “Oh yeah? Does that mean you’ve got sketchbooks for everyone else too? Cause I’m pretty sure this is the only one I’ve seen you with.” He taps a doodle on the cover that gives away it’s the same notebook he always sees you with.

Tears trickled down your cheeks, you knew he was a jerk but this felt like too much. You just wanted your sketchbook back and to run away to your room, maybe pin something in front of the door that would render even the key useless.

His eyes roll the second he sees a tear, he’s not really seeing the problem here. You’ve got a book full of creepy—okay not completely creepy, he’s a good model so good on you for seeing that—sketches of him and he’s truthfully honored. It’s clear that you didn’t do this with everyone, so he’s honored to be your little model. Besides, it’s not like you actually have a crush on him, right?

Minutes tick by of him simply eyeing you, you’re still crying and it’s starting to get a little ugly and snotty, ugh. But you aren’t trying to further deny his little comment about you liking him. He’ll have to have a little talk about that later, what you could possibly see in him because he knows that you aren’t a sadist—oh, are you a masochist? That’d explain a lot.

Jax sighs and closes the book but doesn’t hand it over, simply putting the free hand on his hip. “You know if you wanted to see my face all you gotta do is ask. I’ll gladly show you this handsome face any day toots.”

Of all the things you thought he’d say, that wasn’t it. “H-huh..?” You embarrassingly wipe away the tears and snot before looking up at him.

“You heard me. Ya know I love this face too, very handsome. Maybe we can get Caine to put up some artwork in the tent of yours truly.” Jax wouldn’t consider himself vain, but you did have a way of making him look more, dare he say, attractive.

“I-I don’t… I don’t understand…” Was he still making fun of you?

He rolls his eyes before playfully hitting your head with the book. “Jeez, and here I thought you were smart.” Jax leaned over like he was speaking to a child and pushed the book to your chest. “I’m saying, the next time you wanna draw me I’ll give you a front-row seat. Maybe even take it to the bedroom so we won’t be disturbed.”

You push the book into his face to cover up that growing smirk and blush furiously. “Wh-what?! N-no I-I don’t…!” It’s hard to tell if he’s being serious or not in his offer to model for you, especially with the bedroom comment.

“C’mon, clearly you got taste. I mean that book is filled with sketches of me. I’ll commend you on your immaculate taste.” Jax taps the book before playfully bopping your nose. “At least let me give you the pleasure of seeing me close up. I’ve never been a model before so you might have to get a little hands-on to get me the way you want me.”

As the innuendos continue your face feels like it’s getting impossibly red and warm. Somehow this is worse than him telling you a sketchbook full of his face is creepy, in fact, you’d almost prefer it because your poor little heart can’t take anymore. You let out a yell and it stops his tangent but that stupid smirk of his never disappears.

“Offer still stands. You know where to find me.” Jax turns away but not before throwing a little wink over his shoulder. He still plans on pestering you about what you see in him, but for now, he’ll cut you some slack. You’re about as red as Ragatha’s hair and as much as he loves to see it, he didn’t plan to get this sidetracked when he saw you on your own.

He’s got a sucker to prank.

[stinkyme]

Hello! One anon on here as well as the user on AO3 asked for a Fyodor version, so I wrote it. I hope yall like it and enjoy it! :)

CW/TW: NSFW, fem!reader, jealousy (sort of), established relationship, orgasm denial, edging, clit slapping, Fyodor uses "dear" for reader at the times, slight degrading, name calling (brat, whore, dumb little thing), slight dumbification when Fyodor makes reader spell out his name while using toys on them, toys usage (dildo, clit sucker), slight dacryphilia, needy!reader, clueless!reader, reader has good intentions that come off wrong, vaginal fingering, vaginal penetration (p in v), apologizing and reassurance (reader), creampies, if I forgot anything please let me know! :)

* I made the reader to be a bit clueless, not genuinely wanting to make Fyodor jealous because I feel like if he knew the intention - he wouldn't play into it, given his issues with trusting people in general. So I think even in this writing, he is so more offended due to the "disrespect" and unaware that reader is actually trying to praise him...just in a wrong way, lol

** Also, I kinda dig the idea of bimbo/himbo/clueless reader and Fyodor ngl…. :3

I apologize for any mistakes in advance! :)

Jealousy sex || Fyodor Dostoevsky x Reader

"So, he actually got you this time?" you ask in a slightly confused tone as you sit on the empty table that was connected to the one with Fyodor's computer on it. You swing your legs a little bit as you watch him type in some things, not looking at you.

"I am afraid so. But not to worry, it will work out perfectly for me." he replies in his regular, silk-like voice, looking at you for a moment.

"Mm…" you let out as you think.

"What's his name again?" you ask, tilting your head a bit.

"Dazai Osamu." he says in a normal tone as he continues working.

"Never heard of him." you let out a disinterested tone, looking to the side for a moment.

"But he seems quite smart." you continue, reverting your gaze towards Fyodor again.

"That he is." he nods as he continues typing on a keyboard.

"He may even be able to beat you, perhaps he is smarter than you are!" you say with a bit too much enthusiasm for Fyodor's liking. He shoots you a quick, sharper gaze.

"Oh?" he lets out in a deeper, lower tone.

"Yeah! Man, now I wish I met the guy who can toy with you like this." you slap your thighs a bit, smiling at Fyodor. His face twitches in mixture of annoyance and disgust.

"Toy...with me?" he asks in a low tone.

"Duh! I mean he won, didn't he? And now look at you, gotta work so hard to keep up!" you say in an upbeat tone, leaning your body a bit backwards as you use your hands to support yourself from behind.

"He won this once and it was part of the plan-" he begins explaining to you in a calmer, more collected tone.

"Dude is a genius! Let me see his photo." you cut him off, jumping off of the table. Fyodor's eyebrows narrow in irritation, but he sighs out as he gets the file of Dazai's past. You take the paper, eyes quickly running over the unimportant information as your gaze falls back on Dazai's picture.

"Hm...his hair is a bit weird, but I like the waviness. He seems handsome! Is he also like this in real life?" you ask, excitement evident in your voice.

"I don't think that is necessary information." Fyodor says in a colder tone, furrowing his eyebrows.

"It's not, you are right. But genius who can possibly beat you and good looking! I gotta go and tell this to Nikolai and Sigma!" you say in an elevated tone as you drop the file of Fyodor's table, giving a quick kiss on his cheek.

"That's for good luck! Here is another one. You have to keep on working hard to keep up with him!" you say happily as you kiss his other cheek, quickly leaving the room afterwards. Fyodor's gaze is still irritated, but he sighs out as he has things to do. He will deal with you later.

~ That night

Fyodor slides your panties down your legs, softly caressing sides of your legs while doing so. He brushes his cold knuckles over your clit and wet inner lips, making you shiver. He begins rubbing little, slow circles on your clit with his fingertips and you let out a breathy moan as he does. He inserts two of his other fingers inside your dripping cunt, gently sliding them in and out of you. The coldness of his slender fingers sends shivers up your spine, a knot of tingles forming in your lower tummy.

You let out a few softer moans as you spread your legs more for him. Fyodor curls his fingers a bit, rubbing your sensitive spot inside as the fingertips on your clit keep the slow, almost teasing pace. You sigh out in bliss, clenching your pussy around his fingers a bit as the sweet pleasure relaxes you. You roll your hips a bit as you feel precum gliding down your sensitive walls and Fyodor lets out a chuckle upon the sensation on his own fingers. Precum just keeps on leaking down your pretty cunt as Fyodor keeps up a soft, gentle pace with both - circles on your clit and little thrusts of his fingers.

"Quite needy tonight, aren't you?" he asks in a silvery, breathy tone.

"Maybe a little bit." you respond softly with a little smile, feeling the warmth spread in waves inside your lower tummy.

"Shall I give you more then?" he leans in, slowly kissing below your chest. He trails the kisses around the area of your ribcage, covering both sides of your body in a sloppy, unhurried pace. He moves his attention to your tummy, kissing as low as he can reach in one straight line. He sneaks in a few small licks in-between the kisses as he keeps on pleasuring you with his fingers. Your cunt squeezes around him as you keep on letting soft breaths out, his cold lips making nice balance to your warm body.

"Please do." you finally reply as you nod and he speeds up the pace of his fingers inside you just for a few seconds, pressuring your g-spot and squeezing a louder moan out of your throat. He moves his fingertips away from your clit and extracts his fingers out of your pussy. Then, he quickly positions himself between your legs, gently hugging your hips and ass with his hands. He begins slowly kissing your lower tummy, moving to your inner thighs as he places a few more soft kisses on each. He gives your clit a swift, unexpected kitten lick with the tip of his cold tongue, barely touching it.

You let out a soft moan as your hips quiver for a moment. He slowly moves up, leaning away from your needy cunt. He pulls his boxers down and he strokes his cock couple of times. He lets out a thicker string of spit fall directly on his palm and he continues stroking it, a shaky whimper escaping his lips.

"I must admit, I am feeling quite needy myself, do you mind?" he asks you in a whiny, but still silky, somewhat steady tone as he aligns his cock with your entrance. He trembles upon feeling the warm precum touch the tip of his cock. You shake your head, smiling at him.

Of course you don't mind. This man has such a low libido lately that you dream of moments like these. However, you can't help but wonder what got him worked up?

Your thoughts are cut short as he makes a long, heavy thrust inside of you, his hands falling next to each side of your head. You let out a quick gasp as the tips of Fyodor's eyebrows furrow upwards, a soft, prolonged whine escaping his throat. He begins slowly thrusting in and out of you. Each stroke is long. The tip of his cock only stays inside your needy cunt before he slowly slides it back in, making sure you feel every inch until he reaches the deepest spot. Your hands find their way to Fyodor's waist, gently sliding down to his hips and back to his waist as he keeps slowly rolling his hips into yours. Fyodor lets out shaky breaths in and out, his body trembling already. Your little whimpers mix up with his sounds as you roll your hips a bit, too wet and needy to cum. You slide one of your hands away from his waist, bringing it between your legs to play with your clit.

He leans his face closer to yours, placing shaky, sloppy kisses over your jaw. His thrusts are still slow, but perfectly stimulating your g-spot. Alongside your own fingers circling on your clit, your orgasm builds up rather quickly. You feel him leaking precum inside your cunt, sending shivery tingles throughout your whole body. Your free hand moves away from his waistline, up to his chest, your fingertips pressing into it.

He keeps on kissing your jaw for a little longer before he gives attention to the side of your neck, biting into it before he starts placing soft kisses.

You let out soft whimpers more frequently as Fyodor's shaky, warm breath spreads over your skin he was just kissing. You feel your lower tummy tense up as your orgasm slowly makes its first waves. Your thighs quiver around Fyodor's slow hips and he lets out a moan into your neck as he feels your cunt clenching around him. He suddenly speeds up his movement, breaking an upcoming orgasm as he roughly thrusts in and out of you. You let out a mixture of a pleased and annoyed moan as it feels good, but your orgasm got delayed. 

He moves his hand between your bodies, gently taking your wrist and pulling your hand away from your clit. He brings your hand next to your face, still holding it by its wrist.

"I let you play long enough. You know I dislike greedy brats." he whispers in your ear as he begins slamming his hips into yours even faster, his cock relentlessly stimulating your sensitive cunt. You keep letting gasps in and out from the suddenness, your breath cutting short each time his pelvic area slaps your pussy. He whimpers in your ear, silky sounds melting on your skin and sending tingles to your tummy.

You squeeze your legs around his hips, constant pleasure without an orgasm getting unbearable. Fyodor lets out more frequent whimpers and whines, his cock twitching inside of you as he keeps up his heavy pace. His grip on your wrist tightens as his pace becomes a bit messy, breathy moans sending shivers down your spine. You let out soft moans, your eyebrows twitching and eyes rolling back into your head.

You want to cum so badly, clenching around his cock desperately. Your desperation just sends him over the edge, a few loads of cum filling you up suddenly. He shakily pulls out, breathing heavily as some of the cum slides down your inner lips. A tingling sensation makes you quiver as you tighten around nothing, producing a bit louder, wet sounds.

Fyodor leans away from you, calming down from his release. He slowly gets up and starts getting dressed. You sit up, evidently deprived and annoyed.

"What do you think you are doing?" you ask in an accusatory tone. Fyodor just gives you a sharp look, but his lips curl into a sly smile.

"Do you think that's a smart way to talk to me?" he asks in a tone as sly as his smile. He puts on his pants as he walks up to you, placing his hand on your cheek.

"You have been quite disrespectful lately. Do you think you deserve to cum?" he whispers as he keeps on stroking your cheek.

"When have I been disrespectful?" you ask, slightly confused as you feel your core burning with a need for release.

"Many times. Many more than I approve of, that is." he says in a faintly sharper tone.

"Now, don't be a greedy brat and go to sleep. I have things to keep working on." he says as he gently pats the top of your head, sliding his fingers through your hair after.

"Oh right! You have that genius dude to catch up to!" you suddenly remember, exclaiming your words enthusiastically.

"Work hard and you will get there!" you nod slightly, happily smiling. Fyodor's face twitches in annoyance. 

Just how oblivious can you be?

He swiftly grabs a handful of your hair from where his hand was resting on top of your head, making you gasp in. His free hand spreads your legs. He inserts two of his fingers inside your dripping cunt, pumping them in and out in a relentlessly agonizing pace. You let out quick, sharp moans as your lower tummy begins to hurt from stimulation, but lack of release of any sort. Little tears roll down your cheeks as it becomes unbearable.

"Does it hurt?" he asks with no sympathy whatsoever, on the contrary, his voice hints at slight sadism and pleasure. You barely nod and he lets a soft breath out, almost a chuckle. 

"It should." he says in a colder tone, his gaze sharp and sly. He quickly extracts his fingers and taps your lips. You open up and begin sucking on them, cleaning up the mess he made inside you before.

"Enough. Now go to sleep or do whatever, as long as you are not touching yourself or messing up my work. Understood?" he whispers as he abruptly takes his fingers out of your mouth. He lets go of your hair and you almost fall down on the bed.

"Understood." you say quietly as you play with your fingers. 

"Don't be disappointed now, I will reward you once I teach you how to behave properly again." he sighs out with a little grin as he puts his usual top on. With that being the last thing he says to you, he leaves the room. You keep on pouting for a little longer before you drop on the bed, sighing out. Trying to think of what you've done wrong, eventually you fall asleep, still painfully needy for a release.

~ Next day

You wake up with an urge to cum, already messing up with your day. As you go to the bathroom to wash up, you keep thinking about what you possibly could have done wrong. As you leave the bathroom, Fyodor walks in the room quietly, slowly closing the door behind himself.

"Oh, you are awake." he notices, his gaze falling down on your still nude body.

"So are you. Didn't you sleep at all?" you ask as he sits down on the bed and you climb on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. His fingertips brush over your hips as he closes his eyes.

"No, I didn't." he replies softly and you begin kissing his neck, shamelessly needy and careless for his current state.

"How emotionless and apathetic of you." he chuckles as he knows your neediness is currently taking control. 

"You are one to tell me that." you narrow your eyebrows at him as you move away from his neck.

"Ah, are you still mad about last night?" he says in a silvery tone, gently sliding his palms down your thighs. You nod as you begin grinding your hips on him.

"I am tired dear, I will play with you later." he says as he gently rolls you over, letting you sit next to him. He stands up and takes his coat off. You feel slightly annoyed again, but try to not think about the burning sensation in your lower tummy.

"So, did you make any progress?" you ask in a casual tone as you lay down on your side, resting your head on your arm.

"Yes, it's going smoothly so far." Fyodor nods, replying softly.

"Mm, that's good." you nod, smiling at him.

"But imagine, you winning against him would prove you are really smart." you say in a daydreaming tone which rubs Fyodor the wrong way.

Really smart? As in...he isn't the smart one? In that daydreamy, hopeful tone? Fyodor never lets people test his patience as much as he had let you the past few days. This had to be some sick joke played out by you or the higher forces. Do you want a reaction out of him so badly? Forget it.

"You know what? Since I am so tired, I may reach out to a few little helpers." he says in a lickerish, but more so irritated tone.

"Hm? You mean Nikolai and Sigma?" you lift your head, tilting it to the side a bit.

"...No." he says after a prolonged pause. Good God. Did you already forget? 

He reaches to the box where you kept a handful of toys. He takes out your favorite dildo, clit sucker and lube and walks up to you, dropping them in front of your face. You feel a warmth inside your tummy as Fyodor positions himself between your legs as you adjust your body for him. He lets a string of spit fall on your clit, sliding down to your inner lips as he gently rubs circles over them using his fingertips. You let out a soft moan as you let your head fall on the pillow. Fyodor opens the lube, squeezing a medium portion on his palm and begins rubbing the dildo, making it wet. He aligns it with your inner lips, gently thrusting half of it in and out. You feel goosebumps spread all over your body almost immediately. He starts thrusting the dildo in and out of you completely, its full length stimulating all of your sweet spots. You let out a few softer moans, your cunt already clenching around it.

Fyodor turns on the sucking toy and places it on your clit, immediately earning louder moans from you. The sensation makes you gasp, it's intense and it feels too good. You squeeze the sheets with your hands, body already trembling. Fyodor speeds up his movement, relentlessly sliding the dildo in and out of your sensitive pussy. Your cunt feels so full, your body feels so hot and your clit feels so nicely stimulated that it brings tears to your eyes. Your orgasm builds up quickly, short gasps escaping your throat as your body begins tensing up, besides your hips quivering from time to time. Fyodor keeps observing your reactions, eager to ruin them very soon.

You let out a little "please don't stop" as your orgasm reaches its edge, almost there. He swiftly removes the sucking toy and slows down the thrusts, ruining yet another orgasm of yours.

"Sorry dear, my hands got tired." he says in such an innocent tone, but you can't help your annoyance. You click your tongue as you sigh out, approaching orgasm completely melting away. 

"I seem to be quite weak, too." he emphasizes the last word and it flies over your head. He slowly starts thrusting the dildo, picking up the quick pace from before. You gasp in as it keeps stimulating your g-spot, making all sensations of an orgasm but not giving you one. Fyodor places the toy back on your clit and as soon as you gasp in, he pulls it away. He repeats this couple of times, edging your release with each time he does. You feel the frustrating warmth under your skin, soft moans and gasps mixing in with sounds of disappointments and neediness every time your release gets delayed.

Fyodor chuckles at your desperate state as he begins thrusting the dildo even faster, this time keeping the sucking toy longer on your clit. Your orgasm builds up quickly again, tingling warmth spreading inside your lower tummy. Your filthy sounds become louder and as soon as you are just about to cum, he pulls away the toy and keeps the dildo still inside of you.

"You are doing this on purpose!" you almost yell out, evidently frustrated.

"Not at all dear, I am simply too weak to give you what you need. Don't you feel any sympathy for such an incapable man like myself?" he says in a tone he uses when he so obviously toys with people. 

"Then give it to me! I will do it if you can't!" you say loudly, so needy for an orgasm.

"I can't do that, you dirty little brat." the emotions in his voice change as he says quite coldly and sharply. He starts pounding the dildo in and out of you again, abruptness making you gasp in as it feels too much.

"You are such an ungrateful little dumb thing." he says in a sharp tone, noticing your eyes fill up with tears as the sensations become overwhelming.

"You are going to cry again? How pathetic. You want my sympathies after treating me so disrespectfully? You truly are a little dumb whore." he speaks through relentlessly fucking you with a dildo, his voice irritated and heavy. You can't even speak up, choking on your own breath and sounds as the tears roll down your face.

"Spell my name. Now." he orders as he keeps going at a vigorous pace. Your mind feels cloudy and hazy.

"F-"

"Ah-" you moan and he immediately slaps your clit with his fingertips.

"Incorrect. Try again." he snickers.

"F…Y-, fuck!" you let out as he abruptly speeds up his movement, overstimulating your g-spot. He slaps your clit once again. The stinging sensation makes you quiver as your snivels fill up the room.

"Such a dumb whore you are." he says as he continues thrusting the dildo, not slowing down once. You can't think, forgetting the letters you've just spelt out for him.

"F..Y..D.-, ah!" another sharp moan of yours interrupts you as he hits your clit.

"Incorrect. You can't even spell my name, yet have the audacity to call me dumb." he emphasizes "me" and the sudden confusion makes you look at him weakly. 

"I have, fuck!-, I have never called you dumb!" you defend yourself through a shaky tone.

"No? Then what was all that talk filled with praise for my opponent and how I need to keep up?" he asks sharply as he slows the movement slightly, letting you speak.

"No! That's not what I meant! I just...I was surprised someone was near your level, not that he is smarter!" you somehow voice out your words.

"I am sorry! I really didn't mean anything rude, I was just trying to encourage you!" you gasp out as he stops moving the toy, keeping it still inside of your cunt.

"Is that so?" he asks, still not fully convinced.

"Yeah.., you've been working so hard..so I just wanted to help. Sorry for the confusion...and if I seemed impressed by him. I am impressed by you, so..I suppose it came out the wrong way." you say quietly, a bit embarrassed. Fyodor's gaze searches for any signs of lying, but he seems not to be able to find any. He sighs out.

"We really need to work on your communication skills and self expression." he says as he slides the toy out of your cunt, sudden emptiness making you let out a soft gasp. You keep observing Fyodor, an abrupt thought entering your mind. 

"Were you jealous?" you tilt your head, confused.

"Not at all, I simply don't take disrespect lightly which you are aware of by now." he says with a little smile as he positions himself between your legs.

"I think you were jealous." you tease him a little as he rolls the pants and boxers down his hips, exposing his hard, dripping cock.

"Suit yourself then." he says with a light chuckle. He aligns the tip of his cock with your entrance, sliding it inside easily. While doing so, he swiftly takes his top off, dropping it to the side. You let out a mellow whimper as he leans closer to you, placing faint kisses over your neck. His thrusts are soft and slow, making your aching pussy leak precum. Fyodor lets out a whimper, trembling lips barely touching your skin. 

"Do you forgive me?" you ask softly and he nods, shaky breath warming up your neck as he thrusts sloppily.

"Mhm." he lets out softly in your ear, a pleasure sucking him in.

"You don't seem tired anymore." you chuckle a bit as you faintly drag your fingertips over his waist and back. 

"It's a surprise what an irritation can do to a person." he says in a more steady, silvery tone as he speeds up his movement just a bit more, not wishing to speak anymore. You dig your fingernails into the soft flesh of his back as your eyes roll back. The way his pelvic area kisses your clit makes your body tremble as he keeps stimulating your sensitive spots inside. You let out shaky moans that combine with his shaky whines, your pussy tightening around him. Messily, you slide one of your hands between your bodies, reaching your overly needy clit. You begin rubbing little circles, an immediate breath of bliss escaping your lungs. You feel your pussy leaking even more precum, resulting in Fyodor sucking a deep breath in, his whorish sounds becoming more shaky. He continues kissing your neck, making longer pauses in between each as his body tenses up, mind over indulged in the sensations your pretty, warm pussy was providing for him.

Your moans pick up their pace as does your orgasm, building up quickly. Fyodor bites on the small portion of your neck, his lips parting as his teeth keep still, just to let out breathy moans as your pussy keeps on clenching. Your other hand keeps digging its fingernails into his back as you move your head back, letting out more guttural sounds of pleasure. You feel the waves of hot sensation spreading inside your body, its core in your lower tummy as Fyodor's cock keeps stimulating all of your sensitive spots. You speed up the movement of your fingers, even though they twitch from time to time as your release comes closer.

Fyodor lets go of your neck and you instinctively move your head towards him, placing a messy kiss on his lips. He parts your lips with his own trembling ones and his tongue finds yours quickly. Your kiss becomes passionate and messy as he starts thrusting even faster, making your release bubble up to its edge. You keep whimpering and moaning into each other's mouths, muffling the sounds at the same time. Your legs begin to shake as you finally feel your orgasm washing over you in tame waves. Fyodor bites your bottom lip as he feels your pussy clench around him, his cock twitching in response. Your head falls back, lips parting away from him. Fyodor keeps up his pace and so does your fingers.

You let out a chain of loud, deep and prolonged moans as your climax reaches its peak, so intense that it makes you lightheaded. Fyodor lets out higher whines, his forehead falling next to you as he speeds up the movement of his hips even more, this time prolonging your orgasm. Your hand moves into his hair, gripping on it tightly as your moans turn into dim whimpers, throat dry and body exhausted. You stop the movement on your clit, moving your hand on Fyodor's waist, barely holding it as you feel weak as your orgasm slowly melts away.

He keeps on whimpering in your ear, his hips quivering as he tries to keep up the steady movement, but unsuccessfully as his own release is approaching. You move your own hips a bit, trying to meet his and he lets out a sharp gasp as he reaches his orgasm suddenly. You feel his cum filling you up, a sensation making a hot knot inside your tummy. Your pussy feels too sensitive as Fyodor keeps on messily riding out his orgasm while quickly and breathlessly whining in your ear.

Your grip on his hair weakens and your arm falls to the side as he slowly calms down, stopping his movement and resting on top of you for a moment. You are still trying to catch your breath, feeling awfully tired and sleepy. Fyodor slowly pulls out, barely rolling to the side. He lays next to you and you turn around lazily, putting your leg over his hip as he puts his face on your chest. You brush your fingers through his hair, in a gentle and tired manner. Fyodor moves his hand over your waist, pulling you closer to him. Both of you close your eyes, feeling exhausted. You yawn, before speaking up sleepily.

"It's not that I dislike this side of you, but we need to work on your jealousy issues, you know?" you ask in a teasing tone as you keep on playing with his hair.

"I have no issues, your awful communication skills are to blame. However, don't get a foolish idea to do this on purpose in the future." he says in a quieter tone, evidently dozing off. 

"I will think about it." you let out teasingly, but the tiredness washes over you, both of you falling asleep almost immediately.

The End :) <3

I hope you liked it and enjoyed it! :) <3

Thank you so much for all the love and support, it means the world to me! :) <3

Forehead kisses for everyone :3

[sunflower-lilac42]

✧ 𝐒𝐚𝐟𝐞 & 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 || hughes brothers ♔

album & song: 'more taylor' ; safe and sound (taylor's version)

summary: being sick calls for an immense amount of comfort frmo her brothers, so she’s upset when she gets sick again and they’re not there… well for long

pairings: hughes brothers x sister!reader

warnings: sick, throwing up, coughing up blood, blood, hospitals

published date: 12/17/23

notes: the second fic of the nhl x ts series! i couldn't help myself when i saw this so i had to write as fast as possible. i'm working on hey baby next, promise. also, i know this has the red album cover but because it's from the hunger games i just classified it as 'more taylor'. and as usual, anything hughes brothers i put my heart and soul into so i hope you guys enjoy this one. the grin is real. and if you're wondering, y/n got her nickname 'baby bear' because everyone always calls quinn 'huggy bear' and she's the baby and she's so much like quinn so 'baby bear' it was. add yourself to the taglist ➺ taglist!

more taylor masterlist | nhl x ts masterlist | nhl masterlist | main masterlist

'I remember tears streaming down your face When I said I'll never let you go When all those shadows almost killed your light I remember you said don't leave me here alone But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight'

She was five when she got severely sick the first time and she was terrified. She woke up feeling warm and cold at the same time, her throat was scratchy and dry, and her eyes were watery but she didn’t know if it was because she was scared or if it was just a reaction, and her energy was slim to nonexistent which was scared Ellen and Jim.

By now, their sons would’ve scooped the youngest child out of her bedroom and made their way downstairs to watch something on TV or just play with her. Yet, it was dead silent in the house. Ellen got up from the bed and peeked into each of her son’s rooms and realized to find that they were just asleep still. 

She hoped the same for her daughter but when she walked into the room and saw her five-year-old in tears sitting on her bed, she rushed over.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“Mommy!” She let out a loud cry alarming Jim and he came rushing in as well, not noticing the eldest Hughes child in tow. 

“Hey, sweetheart. I’m here, your brothers are still sleeping, let’s not wake them up. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t feel good.” She sniffled and quieted her voice.

Ellen picked her up and placed her daughter on her lap as she sat down, “Jim go get the-” 

Before she even finished, y/n leaned over and threw up, trying not to get it on Ellen, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, hon. Jim go get the thermometer.”

Jim quickly walked out of the room, heading to the bathroom but got stopped as he ran into his son, “Quinn! Morning.”

“Dad, what’s wrong?”

“Your sister’s sick, it’s probably nothing.”

Quinn’s face went pale, “Is she okay? Does she have a fever? Is she throwing up?”

“Quinn! Calm down. I promise you, it’s probably just a little cold. You can go see her if you want, Mom is in there with her.”

Quinn walked into the room to see Ellen hugging y/n. He took one step and Ellen turned to him, “Hi, Quinn.”

“How is she?”

“It’s most likely just a cold. Y/n/n, look who’s here.” She directed her head to her son and pointed to him, “Quinny!”

She reached her arms out for him and Quinn gladly took her, placing her on his hip, “Hi baby bear.”

“I no feel good, Quinny.” Quinn nodded his head, “I know but we’re gonna make you feel better, okay?”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Jim walked back into the room, placing the thermometer under the girl’s tongue. Seconds later it beeped and Jim took it out of her mount, “40.6/104”

The parents sigh and start to walk out, “Quinn if you don’t mind can you get her ready quickly, we’re gonna need to go to the hospital.”

Quinn nodded his head and he walked over to his sister’s closet, “Whatcha wanna wear, sweetheart?” Y/n lazily pointed to her brown bear sweatshirt and snuggled her head back into her brother’s chest. Quinn got her ready and sat her on her bed so he could put her shoes on. 

“Quinny?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Are you going to leave me?”

“Of course, not y/n/n. I’m never going to let you go.”

Jack and Luke had both heard the rustling from outside their rooms and they both stepped out into the hallway, “What’s going on?”

Jack shrugged, “No clue, bro. I’m so tired.” The boy saw his sister’s door open and walked in there.

By now, Quinn was sitting on her bed and y/n was lying in his arms, “What’s going on?”

“She’s sick.” Jack and Luke immediately wake up at the news and rush over, spitting out questions left and right.

“She’s got a fever but that’s all I know right now. Mom and Dad are taking her to the hospital.”

“The hospital?!”

“I wanna go.” Luke protests just as their parents walk back into the room, fully dressed, “Oh, good morning you two.”

“Can we go with?”

“Guys, the three of you can’t come with.”

“Please, mommy.” Y/n’s little voice spoke up from her brother’s lap.

Ellen sighed, “Fine. But if you guys aren’t out there in five minutes, dressed, then we’re leaving without you.”

Ellen reached over and grabbed her daughter, the three of them heading out to the car to wait for their sons.

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛

In the hospital, Jim and Ellen were the only ones allowed to go back with her at least for now, and y/n let her voice be heard. She cried and cried until they relented and let one of them go back with the two. She reached for Quinn immediately and he nodded his head and followed behind his mom and sister, Jim staying with the other two. 

When they got home, the boys sat at the kitchen table as Jim tried to give y/n her medicine, “I don’t want to.”

“I know you don’t want to, honey, but you have to. Don’t you want to feel better?”

“Jacky.”

Jack’s head popped up from where he sat and looked at her, “Yeah?”

Y/n pointed to her medicine and then to Jack and glared, “You want Jack to give you your medicine?”

She nodded with purpose and Jim happily gave the medicine to his middle son, “All yours, Jack.”

Jack didn’t complain, it meant that she trusted him and he loved that feeling. Jack poured the liquid into the small cup to the correct fill line and put it near his sister’s mouth. She took it without a hassle and from the corner of his eyes he could see his father throw his hands up in defeat causing everyone to chuckle.

✧༺✎༻∞

'Just close your eyes, the sun is going down You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound'

Later that night, y/n lay in bed by herself, looking at the wall. Her stomach hurt and she let out a barely audible whine. Luke, who happened to be walking by heard it and peeked his head into the room, “You doing okay, baby bear?”

“No.”

Luke walked fully into the room and sat on his little sister’s bed, “What’s wrong?”

“Stomach. Will you stay with me?”

“Of course, I will.” Luke laid down next to her and she curled into him, “Thank you.”

Luke looked confused, “For what?”

“For making me feel safe. All three of you.”

Luke awed internally, trying not to let tears fall down his face, “No need to thank me for that.”

Five minutes passed and Jack and Quinn got down waiting for their brother, getting up to see where he was. When they saw him lying in y/n’s bed, they made their way over to them, “You guys okay?”

There was no answer as both of them had fallen asleep. Quinn told Jack to stay there as he walked out to grab some pillows and blankets and brought them back to him. The two made their makeshift beds on the ground and fell asleep not long after.

✧༺✎༻∞

'Don't you dare look out your window, darling, everything's on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby even when the music's gone’

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound'

Ever since then, it was common that y/n had to go to the hospital. As the boys got older, they got more worried. They were busier, Quinn went to college and eventually, he and Jack made the NHL. Luke went off to college and this year he started his official rookie season with the Devils. 

However, it wasn’t as often that it happened when they were away, and if it did it wasn’t as bad as having to go to the hospital, just more or less the doctor’s office. They weren’t as worried about her when this happened, getting texts from either there or their parents and calling them to make sure she was okay.

This time was different. Ellen and Jim had run out to grab a few things for dinner and they left y/n at home alone, because she was 16 and was capable of being by herself. Yet, in hindsight, they probably shouldn't have. 

They had been gone for twenty minutes already and she thought they wouldn’t be much longer and she could hold on. But she couldn’t. Every couple of minutes it felt like she had a coughing attack, but this last one, blood came up with it. 

Wasting no time she dialed the first person that came up on her contacts, Luke. 

“Lukey.”

“Hey, y/n/n! What’s up?”

She was glad they didn’t have a game today, otherwise she’d be totally screwed. 

“Lukey, I’m scared.”

“You’re scared? Why? What’s wrong?” Luke stood up from his bed and made his way out of his room and towards Jack’s. 

He didn’t knock on the door before entering which left Jack to somewhat argue with him about knocking before entering, not that he was doing anything, but manners, you know? 

“It’s so bad. Really bad.”

“Well, where’s mom and dad? How bad are we talking?” Jack’s interest peaked at the mention of his parents and scrambled to sit next to his younger brother on his bed, motioning for him to put it on speaker. Luke pressed the button and pulled his phone away from his ear, waiting for the girl to talk. 

“They went out to grab-” She took a pause before coughing some more. Jack and Luke looked at each other worriedly, “Y/n?”

“Oh god. There’s more.”

“More what?” Jack inquired, nervousness settling at the bottom of his stomach, “More blood.”

The three were silent, y/n trying not to freak out and Jack and Luke trying not to freak her out. It was quiet for a couple of minutes before the oldest of the three-spoke up, “When are Mom and Dad going to be home?”

As soon as she went to say her answer the front door clicked and y/n rushed downstairs, “Dad! Mom!”

She threw her phone on the counter and Luke turned the volume all the way up in an effort to hear the conversation, “What? What’s wrong?”

“I threw up some blood.” 

“Oh my. Get in the car, I’ll meet you two there.” Jim rushed y/n to the car and Ellen ran around the house gathering a few things in case they were there for a while. 

Jack and Luke were freaking out, “Dad, what’s going on? Mom? Y/n?” Ellen spied her daughter’s phone on the counter and looked at it curiously seeing her son’s contact name on it, “Luke?”

“Mom, what is happening?”

“We’re taking her to the hospital. How long ago did she call you?”

“I don’t know like five minutes ago maybe?” Luke’s voice broke as he explained to his mom, Jack placing a hand on his back. 

“I want you to call, Quinn-”

“No!” Y/n interrupted her mom as she got into the passenger seat, “What do you mean no?”

“He has a game, please.”

“Honey, I think you are more important to him than the game. Let Luke and Jack call him.” Ellen’s voice was stern as Jim pulled out of the driveway.

“If you’re gonna call him let me talk to him.”

Ellen, and the boys, went to protest but y/n’s face showed desperation, “Fine. We’ll call you two back when we have answers.”

“Don’t bother. We’re already packing.” 

As Ellen and y/n were squabbling, Jack ushered his younger brother to his room and told him to go back and he left his phone in his room. Jack pulled his suitcase out of his closet and was halfway finished packing when they acknowledged the two again.

“There’s no need-”

“You’re not winning this y/n/n. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

Jack hung up and finished packing meeting Luke and in ten minutes, they were on their way to the airport. 

Meanwhile, y/n had dialed Quinn’s contact, nervously chewing on her bottom lip. It was an hour before the game was supposed to start and she had no idea if he would actually answer or not, but to her luck, he did.

“Quinn.”

“Hey, y/n/n. What's up? Need help with some homework?”

“I’m going to the hospital.”

Quinn dropped his stick as he stood in the locker room, some of his teammates glancing at him worriedly, “What is it?”

“Same old, same old, but this-” Her sentence was interrupted by another coughing attack and Quinn could hear their mother telling her to take it easy in the background. 

“What do you mean it’s worse?” Quinn didn’t need her to finish the sentence for him to know what she meant.

Elias was standing next to him, a hand on his shoulder to ground him in case anything got out of hand, “I coughed up some blood.”

“You what?!” Quinn’s voice echoed through the clubhouse, “Quinn what’s wrong?”

The boy shushed his teammates, “Quinn, I’m probably fine-”

“If you’re coughing up blood you are not fine. Do Mom and Dad know? Do Jack and Luke?”

“Yes, Mom and Dad know, you idiot. Who do you think is taking me to the hospital? And yes the other two know, I already called them. I didn’t want to call you because you have a game.”

“I couldn’t care less about the game when my little sister calls and tells me she’s on the way to the hospital. Let me talk to coach, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Quinn, no-”

“Nope, la la la la. Blah blah blah. I’m coming. Give the phone to mom.”

“But-”

“No.”

Y/n reluctantly handed the phone to her mom but as she extended her hand, her arm dropped and the phone clattered to the ground. The only thing Quinn could hear was the faint yelling of his sister’s name from his mom. 

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛

Y/n was lying in the hospital bed when Jack and Luke, watched the only show that was on this late at night, Family Feud. She was trying to answer but every time she went to speak she’d start coughing. The two ran in just as y/n’s previous coughing attack had subsided and she was now glaring at the TV because someone said a stupid answer.

“I said sex first, asshole. But no one wanted to listen to me.” 

“Glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor.”

“Jacky! Lu!” Y/n had a dopey smile on her face as she saw her brothers. They couldn’t tell if it was the drugs or if she was just being herself.

“Hey, baby bear. How you feeling?”

“Mom, can I swear?”

Jack laughed, “Aren’t you the one who just called someone an asshole?”

“Mom! Jack’s being mean.”

“Jack stop torturing your sister and yes, y/n, you can swear.”

“I feel like shit.” Luke nodded, the only one who seemed to have sympathy for the girl right now, “What did the doctor say?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening.”

Ellen and Jim explained how it wasn’t a big thing and that she should be able to go home in a couple of hours or so. The two stayed with her until she was discharged and drove home with the three where Luke carried her upstairs to her room because she fell asleep on the way home. 

That’s where Quinn found them when he got there, Jack and Luke on either side of her in her bed as they watched the Game Show Network. One of the many stuffed animals that Quinn had gotten her wrapped in her arms against her chest. 

“Hey guys.”

“Quinn! You’re here.”

“Of course, I’m here. I couldn’t let those two take care of you.”

Jack and Luke feigned offense at the eldest child but Jack moved over so Quinn could sit where he previously was, knowing y/n always chose to be close to him when she was sick. 

“You doing okay?”

“Could be better, but I’m happy you’re here.”

“I’m never letting you go, none of us are.”

“Please don’t leave me.”

It was something the three had already talked about, they had already talked to their coaches and were scratched from their next couple of games because their sister needed him. 

Y/n spent the rest of the night surrounded by her brothers feeling safe and sound.

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

if your name is crossed out it means i couldn't tag you

@hearts-4-luke | @pucks-goals-penalties | @sarawinson78 | @prettyinsatiable | @pucks-goals-penalties | @elegieseulogise | @crazycat-ladys-blog

[pink-amethyst-tarot]

♡ Message From Your Soulmate ♡ 

Take what resonates and leave the rest and know that you're the one in control of your life at the end of the day. . . .

P I L E 1 - Through the Fire

Five of Pentacles, Wheel of Fortune (Reversed), Page of Cups, The High Priestess, Justice

Okay. First off, your person wants to say that you are their gift and that you are their surprise. They are so lucky to have you! (omg, I'm gonna cry!!!) Your person is saying that they know that you feel like they have abandoned you and you may have doubts about if this person even exists. They do exist. Your person is real, and they are working so hard to get to you. There have been delays in your union because you are trying to be too in control of the situation. Your person wants you to focus on your own growth and being the best version of yourself for yourself. They are going to come in so unexpectedly and it's going to feel so magical. This is not an ex. I'm serious. Let it go. I'm also getting the communication will be so good and so full of passion and romance! Your person wants you to listen to your inner voice and find the strength to be who you really are. You can look forward to learning a lot from each other. There is a balance in this relationship that you may not be used to. This person sees you as their equal. For some of you, there is a specific person who comes to mind when you read about soulmates, divine counter parts and the person that you want to spend this lifetime and every lifetime with. I want you to know that you aren't crazy. It's them. Just give them some time. Everything is going to work out and you will be together.

Extra channeled message: I love you, I love you, I love you, my sweet star. Hold on to me as tightly as I am holding on to you. Just remembering that you are out there for me, keeps me going; keeps me coming toward you.

Channeled Song: Through The Fire - Chaka Khan

Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall// For a chance to be with you// I'd gladly risk it all// Through the fire Through whatever, come what may// For a chance at loving you I'd take it all the way// Right down to the wire// Even through the fire//

if you want a personal reading, you can e-mail me at pinkamethysttarot@gmail.com

if you feel called to tip, you can on c@sh@pp at $oddlycozycottage

P I L E 2 - my love is mine, all mine

King of Pentacles, Temperance, The Chariot, Ten of Cups, Nine of Pentacles (Reversed), Strength

Baby, you are so safe with me. Your person is so sweet and kind! I'm getting that they are a protector and very cuddly. I am going to be so gentle and so caring with you. You will never have to worry about anything when you are with me. Even if I am not with you, consider it taken care of. I am getting that this person has always been yours. In every lifetime, they have found you and made you so damn happy. This lifetime will be no different! Every universe, every life; I will love you, deeply. I cannot wait to grow old together. This person is a very dominate type, especially when it comes to you. One who likes to take the lead... in more ways than one. (my lord...) Your soulmate sees you as their happiest ending and they want you to know that they will never truly be happy if they don't have you. Unlike the previous pile, I am getting the energy of this being someone that you may know already, maybe even someone who is currently an ex. They have changed in some way, or the stars have aligned for you two to be together again. I'm getting that this person is really successful. Like... really freakin' successful. On the outside looking in, this person seems to have it all, but they don't feel complete because they don't have you but once they do, they are never going to let you go. You are theirs. (Okay, maybe this person is a little bit possessive but not in a toxic way. Definitely set boundaries about that kind of thing.) This love is so strong, so powerful. Wow.

Extra Channeled Message: You have consumed me; mind, body and soul, you have consumed me. You make ruins of me, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I gladly give you my heart to do as you please. If all I can have of you is your destruction of my heart, I will take it. You have me.

Channeled Song - My Love Mine All Mine - Mitski

My baby, here on earth// Showed me what my heart was worth// So, when it comes to be my turn// Could you shine it down here for her?

if you want a personal reading, you can e-mail me at pinkamethysttarot@gmail.com

if you feel called to tip, you can on c@sh@pp at $oddlycozycottage

P I L E 3 - My babe would have me

Eight of Swords, Nine of Cups, The Chariot, Seven of Wands, Knight of Pentacles

I have been through a lot when it comes to love. My heart has been broken over and over again but with you, it's different. You are a dream come true, my love. There is an energy present that is telling me that your person is going through a lot right now. It feels like a Dark Night of the Soul. They are definitely going to come out on top though. They are a fighter, and they have the upper hand in whatever they are dealing with. Part of the reason that they are doing this work is because they want to be the best for you. They want to be good enough for you. (Even though they already are!) This person is worried that they aren't good enough and that you will leave them or won't choose them! They are so sure about you though. They know that you are what they want in this world. They are working hard on a lot of parts of themselves because you are so worth it. I feel like, just like the previous pile, you may already know or be in union with this person or this may be about an ex. Like, I need you know that this person is working so hard. They are going to show, not tell you how much they have changed. Like this is a whole new person.

Extra Channeled Message: I want you to know that yes, I am working on me so that I can be better for you but it's also for me, too. It has been so hard to go through this healing, but it has been worth it, and I am glad I decided to change. I am glad that I decided to heal, and I like the person that I am now and who I am becoming. I am going to make sure we have a really good life together, my love. I refuse to make your day harder or to make you cry. You are far too precious for that. I love you to the moon and back.

Channeled Song: Work Song - Hozier

My babe would never fret none// About what my hands and my body done// If the Lord don't forgive me// I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me//

if you want a personal reading, you can e-mail me at pinkamethysttarot@gmail.com

if you feel called to tip, you can on c@sh@pp at $oddlycozycottage

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. THESE READINGS ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. no guarantees are implied. These readings are not a substitute or replacement for any professional help or services. My readings are not a substitute for any form of professional legal, medical/psychiatric, relationship, religious/spiritual or financial/ business advice nor consultations. You should always see a professional legal/trained adviser for help in any matter. I am not responsible for any decisions/ actions you take.

page dividers created by @bunnysrph and @eloquentreverie

[omegalomania]

so im sure everyones fully well aware of the magic 8 ball site fob is using to promote a contest to win some tickets to see them in nashville. the little 8ball widget theyve got in browser is also modeled on the physical 8ball that they had in the vip merch packages for tourdust's first leg, which is cool! but of particular note is the way that, to fill out the contest form, you have to pick your favorite fall out boy songs. and the sheer breadth of what is allowed is...interesting? it's not cohesive by any means, but it is really wild the selection of songs they have here because not all of them are fob songs. in fact, quite a few of them aren't.

i went directly to the source code and got a full list of all possible songs that you could input (which you can check for yourself by right-clicking and selecting "view source"). i'm going to list them here for archival purposes, with a few notes/explanations cause some of these are WILD.

there are 187 songs total listed.

bolded songs indicate songs that are demos or never received an official release

italicized songs are songs by other bands

underlined songs indicate songs that are covers

songs with an asterisk beside them (*) indicate they are from patrick's solo catalogue. two asterisks (**) are for pete's.

additional commentary by me will be [in brackets]

20 Dollar Nose Bleed 27 7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen) 7-9 Legendary A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More "Touch Me" A Nice Myth [one of the earliest fall out boy demos, found on their first ep, and only the casette version at that] Allie* Alone Together Alpha Dog America's Suitehearts American Beauty/American Psycho (song) American Made Art of Keeping Up Disappearances As Long as I Know I'm Getting Paid* Austin, We Have a Problem Baby Annihilation Bad Side of 25* Bang the Doldrums Beat It Big Hype* Bishops Knife Trick Bob Dylan Bounce [this is a song that came out on then-Decaydance labelmates The Cab's debut record, Whisper War, which patrick produced. he has writing credit and also is credited with background vocals (and also shows up in the music video)] Caffeine Cold Calm Before the Storm Centuries Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends Champion Check Your Phone** Chicago is So Two Years Ago Church City in a Garden Coast (It's Gonna Get Better)* Coffee's for Closers Cryptozoology* Cute Girls* Cyanide** [this is a nothing,nowhere song that pete did some spoken word parts and backing vocals on] Dance Miserable* Dance, Dance Dead on Arrival Dear Future Self (Hands Up) Death Valley Deep Blue Love* [song patrick did for the indie short film "spell"] Demigods Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? Electric Touch [the (in?)famous taylor swift song patrick featured on] Eternal Summer Everybody Wants Somebody* Explode* Fake Out Fame Less than Infamy Favorite Record Fellowship of the Nerd [this is an alternate title for world's not waiting, as far as i can tell] Flu Game Flu Game [yes flu game is listed twice for some reason] Footprints in the Snow [demo from the Llamania ep] Fourth of July From Now on We Are Enemies G.I.N.A.S.F.S. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows) Ghostbusters (I'm Not Afraid) Golden Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy Greed* Grenade Jumper Grow Up and Be Kids [this song is on The Cab's sophomore album Symphony Soldier, which release after they left decaydance. nonetheless, pete does have some writing credits on it. give it a listen and you'll hear for yourself in the first 10 seconds or so] Growing Up Hand Crushed by a Mallet [this is a remix of the 100gecs song of the same name; patrick did some vocals for it] Hand of God Have I Got a Gift for You* [song patrick did for the horror movie black friday] Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet Heartbreak Feels So Good Heaven's Gate Heaven, Iowa Hold Me Like a Grudge Hold Me Tight or Don't Homesick at Space Camp Honorable Mention Hot to the Touch, Cold on the Inside Hum Hallelujah I Am My Own Muse I Don't Care

I Got Nothing, But You Got Something [this is the one that really perplexes me. there's no evidence of this song actually existing, other than an unverified genius post and an article on a single fandom wiki. it is inexplicably listed here despite its very existence being questionable at best.]

I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) I've Been Waiting [this is technically a lil peep song with fall out boy as a feature] I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers Immortals Irresistible It's Hard to Say 'I Do', When I Don't It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Am Thinking It Must Be Love Jet Pack Blues Just One Yesterday Lake Effect Kid (song) Lake Shore Drive [this is a song patrick covered on the piano at wrigley, first night of tourdust] Love from the Other Side Love Will Tear Us Apart Love, Selfish Love* Love, Sex, Death Lullabye Mad at Nothing* Miss Missing You Moving Pictures My Heart Is the Worst Kind of Weapon My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up) New Dreams [this is a bonus track on pax am days, a naked rayguns cover] Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner Novocaine Of All the Gin Joints in All the World One of Those Nights [another song from the cab's whisper war. this one has patrick doing vocals very prominently] Open Happiness [this was a huge collaborative piece done for a coca cola commercial. patrick was on it along with big names like cee lo green, janelle monae, and labelmates travie mccoy and brendon urie] Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued Parker Lewis Can't Lose (But I'm Gonna Give It My Best Shot) Past Life [llamania ep] Pavlove People Never Done a Good Thing* Porcelain* Pretty in Punk Rat a Tat Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over Roxanne Run Dry (X Heart X Fingers)* San Diego [this is a blink-182 song that patrick did some writing for] Saturday Saturday Night Again* Save Rock and Roll (song) Sending Postcards from a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here) She's My Winona Short, Fast, and Loud Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers So Good Right Now So Much (For) Stardust (song) So Sick [this is a song patrick has exclusively covered live, so it's a fascinating inclusion] Sober [another blink-182 song patrick did some writing for] Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year Star 67 Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea Sugar, We're Goin Down Summer Days (song) [this is a martin garrix song patrick lent some vocals to] Sunshine Riptide Super Fade Switchblades and Infidelity Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today The "I" In Lie* The (After) Life of the Party The (Shipped) Gold Standard The Carpal Tunnel of Love The Kids Aren't Alright The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years) The Last of the Real Ones The Mighty Fall The Music or the Misery The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes The Phoenix The Pink Seashell The Pros and Cons of Breathing The Take Over, the Breaks Over The World's Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys in a Broken Down Van) This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race This City* Thnks fr th Mmrs (song) [for some reason the site specifies song here, despite that not being necessary. the only other times this distinction is relevant is when songs share a title with their albums, i.e. save rock and roll] Thriller Tiffany Blews Twin Skeleton's (Hotel in NYC) Uma Thurman Untitled 1 (Colorado Song) Untitled 2 (Jakus Song) [both of these are recently released tttyg era demos] W.A.M.S. We Didn't Start the Fire We Don’t Take Hits, We Write Them [this is a song that famously was only ever performed live. we don't have a studio recording or even a demo, as only live versions exist] We Were Doomed from the Start (The King is Dead) West Coast Smoker What a Catch, Donnie What a Time To Be Alive What's This? When I Made You Cry* Where Did the Party Go Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) Wrong Side of Paradise [llamania ep] XO You're Crashing, But You're No Wave Young and Menace Young Volcanoes Yule Shoot Your Eye Out

in conclusion i have no idea who compiled this list. it doesn't include every song patrick and pete have ever touched (notice the lack of gym class heroes, cobra starship, and hush sound discography) but it has a really weird selection of songs. i mean, blink songs patrick wrote on?? its bizarre.

anyway do you think if we mass request swing me by the rafters they'll have to do it

[eamour]

persistence, repetition and more.

one common misconception that people believe in is that persistence equals repetition. this, however, isn’t true! persistence must not be confused with repetition, but rather persistent acceptance.

persistence.

to persist simply means to continue to "do" something despite difficulty, opposition or, how we would call it, circumstances. what you "do" is keep assuming a new reality for yourself and accepting it to be true no matter what. persistence, or in other words consistence, doesn’t mean repetition. it means ACCEPTANCE.

the purpose of persistence.

persisting doesn’t mean to think about your desire all the time, nor does it mean affirming a certain statement 24/7. you don't have to think of all the things you have manifested (consciously or subconsciously) for them to remain in your reality. they do not cease to exist just because you don't actively acknowledge them. so, why would you force yourself to think of something for it to materialise in your reality?

repetition.

repetition itself or doing a method repeatedly isn’t what manifests. a method cannot manifest, no matter how many times you do it. a method holds no power on its own. you, on the other hand, very much do. you allow a method to be useful and beneficial for you.

the purpose of repetition.

mindlessly repeating affirmations, scripting the same scene a couple of times or just generally doing one method over and over again won’t help you manifest your desire IF you don’t change SELF. if you don’t shift your state of being through methods, if it doesn’t help you believe in a new concept of self, if it doesn’t make you accept your desire as a present fact, then you can do the method as many times as you please — you will remain the same. a method's purpose in combination with how many times you practice it, is to help you ACCEPT.

remembrance.

you will naturally think of your desire. it will naturally pop up in your mind from time to time — especially if it's something you genuinely desire. the more you desire it, the more you will think of it, the more you will naturally remember it.

the purpose of remembrance.

when you think of your desire, when you are reminded of it, you tell yourself that you already have or are it. you go from thinking OF your desire to thinking FROM it. you fulfill yourself by giving your desire to yourself then and there and move on with your day. you don't need to continuously remind yourself of it but continue to persist in your ASSUMPTION. as long as you don't go back and change your mind (wavering), it's all good!

acceptance.

to accept something means to believe or know something to be true, correct or valid. it's a feeling. a feeling that makes you feel if something is real or unreal. our general understanding of feeling is equivalent to accepting, as well as knowing, believing or assuming. they all refer to the same. you accept something to either be true or false, therefore you FEEL it to be so. all of this takes place in imagination. to accept also means to imagine. it means to think.

the purpose of acceptance.

through acceptance, we can change self. acceptance enables us to believe new, desired conceptions about ourselves to be true. through acceptance, you can accept new convictions of self and reality.

whenever you feel desire, try to accept it. accept it as yours. accept it in its fullness. accept it entirely and completely. focus on the state of having your desire. embody your desire, identify with it. become the version of self who has or is your desired thing. know your assumption to be true. fulfill and satisfy self from within. experience the ACCEPTANCE of the wish fulfilled.

with love, ella.

[being-addie]

Morning Routines

We're all looking at those Instagram influencers who somehow manage to wake up at 5 am, do meditation, journal, do a 15-step Korean skincare routine, and go to the gym. And then they make a green smoothie and avocado toast, get dressed in a Chanel outfit and then sit at their fancy desk with a vanilla latte and a croissant.

This is not realistic. You probably already know that, but it likely won't stop you from trying to change your routine bit by bit to look a little like theirs. That didn't stop me, at least.

But now I've come to realise that no matter how much I try, I'll never be able to have a routine like the ones I see online. Because it doesn't exist. It's all curated for aesthetic appeal and generates a sense of false productivity in the watcher's brain. We feel motivated looking at those videos and never get around to changing our own life because we're too busy living vicariously through our phones.

Here's some things you should add to your morning routine, not to be fancy, but to feel better. This is coming from someone who's tried the unrealistic routines, and I now incorporate all of these into my routine. You can skip or add things according to your schedule.

S-T-R-E-T-C-H: Do your body a favour and loosen up your muscles. Nothing better than having a good stretch that wakes your body up.

Drink water: Before you put anything in your system, drink water. Not coffee, not tea. Plain warm water. And I don't mean lemon water. Some people might not agree, but lemon water strips your teeth of the enamel. It also is acidic, so all that bullshit they talk about it being "alkaline and pH balancing" is nonsense. Warm water is the way to go.

Make your bed: A clean bed should be the first thing you do after you wake up. At the end of the day, you'll thank yourself because it will be clean, and fresh and you can fall into bed immediately.

Hygiene: Wash your face to get rid of crusty eyes and sleep. Do a basic skincare routine (cleanser, moisturizer) so you'll feel fresher. Brush your teeth and hair.

Move your body: It doesn't matter what you do, even if it's for 15 minutes. Go for a walk, do a Zumba workout, or squeeze in a HIIT session. You can find lots of tutorials on YouTube (Caroline Girvan, growingannanas, Chloe Ting). Either way, working out will help you feel more motivated and happier. It's the endorphins.

Clean yourself: Set aside some time for showering, slathering on lotion, and doing your (real) skincare and makeup routine. Pick an outfit that makes you feel good about yourself.

Eat something: ALWAYS make some food. Your body has been famished for hours on end, give it some fuel. Make a healthy breakfast, or prep one the night before. If you don't get very hungry in the mornings, have a banana, and pack a mid-morning snack beforehand so you don't reach for chips.

Do 3 things: Make a to-do list of everything you need to do today. Don't overwhelm yourself. Then, knock off 3 easy tasks from the list that you can do quickly. You'll be filled with a sense of motivation, and it'll be easier for you to complete your list. It can be chores, it could be some assigned reading. Just get it done.

Gratitude or prayer: You don't need to sit for 15 minutes to practice gratitude. You can think of things your thankful for on the way to school or work or practice deep breathing/say a small prayer on the subway or bus. You don't HAVE to do it, but it definitely makes you realise how much you have in life and appreciate it more.

Kindness: Start your day with kindness. Compliment your barista, smile at the old lady on the street, pet the stray cat. There's so much love in the world, and you have so much love inside you, and it's beautiful to be a part of it.

No longer will I be stuck in a rut. I cannot be confined to being a bitter, unhealthy person when I know there's a smiling, healthy, happy version of me in the future. Deep breaths. You'll get there babe.

<3