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bookishbrewer · 4 months

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Cyn - The Disabled Neurodivergent Sibling:

⚠️ WARNING: this post will include discussion of bullying, ableism of numerous kinds, abuse, trauma.

First, let's establish 2 important terms for this post:

Zombie Drone - a state in which a worker drone is improperly disposed of. The WD enters a state of self-reboot as a result of: their core not being properly disconnected, the hardware not physically destroyed or a 606 error is interrupted. In a 0.7% chance, there's the risk of said WD rebooting with a "potential hazardous mutation".

The Absolute Solver - an incredibly advanced monstrous code and supernatural artificial intelligence that mutates in damaged forms of lesser AI.

Neurodivergent:

Cyn is first introduced in a flashback in episode 2, when she is scavenged & brought back to the Elliot mansion by Tessa. Right at the beginning, we the shy drone do something that may be interpreted as neurodivergent - imprinting:

Yes, I may be reading too deeply into this, but the fact that Cyn immediately focuses on the drone with the least threatening position & expression makes me think she may interpret him as the safest person to be around.

Just before this scene, we as the audience got to see the relationship between the main 3 drones Cyn will interact with in the mension:

1. N & V - they are the more meek & submissive types. They're both portrayed as sensitive, and have something of a crush on each other.

2. J - she's more of a mean 'older-bully-sibling' type. Not hasitating to command her peers, even using verbal & physical violence to do so.

So, in a sense, Cyn was right.

In ASD, for example, neurodivergent people might rely on siblings for interpreting social cues, deepening their connection. In addition, siblings may become key figures in routines and shared interests, leading to strong bonds (see for example how N reacts to Cyn showing him "those eyes" referring to her putting a picture of a golden retriever on her visor to convince him to go ask Tessa if they can attend the gala together. Or N suggesting the both of them will watch a movie together).

For another example, ADHD, siblings might help manage impulsivity & help with conflict resolution. We see an example of this in this clip:

After Tessa's abusive mother tells her off, Cyn steps in & exclaims that "they are not broken. We can no longer be thrown out", in direct reaction to the mother threatening to throw out all of Tessa's "dumpster pets".

This, clearly, triggers Cyn's trauma we see a glimpse of in episode 5:

She wakes up in what is essentially a pile of dead bodies, deeply woulded, hurt & terrified. This is what she is referring to, this is what 'no longer' means. It means 'not again'. She doesn't wish what she went through on anyone.

Even though N, Tessa's favorite, protects Cyn, it does not shelter her from Tessa's abuse. Now, let me reiterate, I know that Tessa is an abused child. She suffers from emotional, physical & verbal abuse from both her parents (& maybe other caretakers) and is also just a kid. My point in mentioning said abuse is to merely point put that this is an example to the cycle of it continuing, creating more victims.

Tessa inflicts on Cyn the exact same abuse she suffers at the hands of her parents & more:

She displays blatent favoritism towards certain drones (N & J) over others (neglects V & treats Cyn badly).

She threatens Cyn that something might happen to her if N is hurt for defending her from her mother.

She chains & locks Cyn in the basement with the use of one of her favorite drones (J):

Another example of Cyn's implied neurodiversity is her misunderstanding of Tessa's words. When Tessa threatens Cyn that something might happen to her if N is hurt "because of her" she simply replies:

Cyn does not exactly understand that Tessa is worried that N might die. To her, it is meaningless, because she (or rather, the Absolute Solver) has backups of Ns personality (which is displayed in future episodes, when it is revealed that she is the one to send the murder drones to Copper 9). This is very similar to how people with ASD (& others) may take a statement too literally or misunderstand it at first.

Another tidbit that I like about Cyn, is that she doesn't like being condescended to. She talks back to those who belittle her because of her being 'different'. Not only to Tessa & her mother, but also to her fellow drones:

Cyn: it seems that J forgot to let me out of my basement time-out again.

J: yet here you are.

Cyn (turning to N): annoyed expression.

She also does it to N in her eldritch form:

Another thing I'd like to add is Cyn being quite quirky & unique in her peaceful days, before the Solver took over her entirely:

Physically Disabled

We know that Cyn was sent to be destroyed for some reason before the show began. Her almost being destroyed caused numerous disabilities, some of them were cured (for example: her cracked visor was fixed) but some remained as lasting effects:

Linguistic differences/disabilities -

Cyn cannot talk in a more "smooth" way like her fellow drones. Her voice can be interpreted as robotic & distant (a characteristic some neurodivergent & disabled people may have or may be precieved as having).

Instead of just doing, Cyn says her actions out loud, for example: "sheepish nod", "shuffle, shuffle, shuffle", "tantrum", "jumpscare", "light sip". Some neurodivergent individuals, such as people diagnosed with ADHD may express their thoughts or describe their actions out loud as they are doing them to help with focus, brain fog & organization.

Bodily impairments -

Cyn stands a bit crookedly & doesn't get much support from her limbs to hold her body.

Her head cannot be held straight & has to be supported by something (she usually uses her hand to do that. Even in her eldritch form, before committing the massacre in Elliot mansion):

Though there are many voices of people, both disabled & otherwise that speak against disabled characters being portrayed as villains, I believe Cyn is in no way a disrespectful character. Before she is entirely lost to the Solver her trauma is explored, validated & expended on. She is portrayed as sweet, charming, complex & loving. She is also shown as being bullied, discarded, hurt & abused.

Her disabilities are not the cause of her fall to evil & are not her "trademark" when it comes to her definition (similarly to how, let's say, Darth Vader is mocked for his suit & is known & feared partially because of it). They are a part of her, but they are not the only aspect in her life that define her.

I think Cyn is a pretty good example of what a disabled person may go through in different stages of their lives. As a new sibling, as an unfavored child, as a server/worker, as a friend, as a hero & yes, as a victim of circumstances beyond their control.

I love Cyn, she's very special to me & I can't wait to see where her story will go.

Thank you for reading 🙏💜

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veganpropaganda · 1 year

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"A telling example of the impulse to project human stereotypes of disability onto other animals can be found in the story of Mozu, a snow monkey (a Japanese macaque) who was born in Japan’s central highlands. Mozu was born with abnormalities of her hands and feet thought to have resulted from pesticide pollution. Snow monkeys spend much of their time moving through trees, which allows them to avoid wading through the thick snow that covers the ground in the winter months. Mozu’s disabilities meant she was mostly unable to move through the branches; instead she traveled the nearly two miles that her troop covered every day in search of food by alternately walking on her abnormal limbs and crawling and sliding on the forest floor. When Mozu was born, researchers who had been watching this troop feared she would not make it past infancy. To their surprise, Mozu lived for nearly three decades, rearing five children of her own and becoming a prominent troop member.

In an episode of the program Nature featuring Mozu’s story, she is again and again referred to as “inspiring,” “suffering,” and a “very special monkey.” The dramatic music and voice-overs that describe Mozu’s struggle in vivid detail make it nearly impossible to watch her move across the snowy forest floor, a baby clinging to her belly and other monkeys flying by above her, without thinking, “Poor Mozu!”

At the same time, I am aware that the piece was edited to elicit this reaction. There are few shots in which Mozu is not struggling, and I question the effect the videographers had on her and the troop. In one scene her desperation seems to stem from being chased by the cameraperson. The music and voice-overs of course also add a sense of struggle to Mozu’s story.

Yet I have no doubt that life was hard for Mozu, and I find myself desperate to know what she thought of her situation. Was her instinct to reach for the trees unquenchable? Was she always in pain, exhausted, or fearful as she moved slowly across the forest floor? Did she wonder why she was different from her companions? I cannot help but wonder, although I realize how similar these thoughts are to the tiresome questions I have been asked again and again about my own life, my own disability. My desire for Mozu’s life not to be seen as one of suffering and struggle is also a projection, one that wishes disability empowerment onto my fellow primate. Our human perspective shapes how we interpret Mozu’s experience.

Many of our ideas about animals are formed by our assumption that only the “fittest” animals survive, which negates the value and even the naturalness of such experiences as vulnerability, weakness, and interdependence. When disabilities occur, we assume that “nature will run her course,” that the natural process for a disabled animal is to die, rendering living disabled animals not only aberrant but unnatural."

-- Sunaura Taylor, "Animal crips" in Disability and Animality: Crip perspectives in Critical Animal Studies.

#multispecies justice #animal liberation #anti speciesism #sunaura taylor #ableism #eugenics cw

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brayneworms · 1 year

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gouge away (if you want to) | johnny joestar

kinktober day ten: kissing

word count. 2.4k

content. disabled johnny, but like his prostate works, anal fingering, prostate orgasm, kissing, johnny cries after sex it's canon, gender-neutral reader, fluff, mentions of ableism, established relationship, this is sappy

♪ gouge away - pixies

kinktober mlist | regular mlist

For a while—a long while—after his accident, Johnny thought he'd never be with someone again.

A part of it was the paralysis. Okay, a big part of it was. He learns after using the chair for a bit that he sorta stops becoming a real person to most people, that their eyes just sorta slide past him. Oh no, how sad, that guy in the chair must have it so bad. Don't be rude and stare, now. Sometimes he wishes they would stare at him, like he knows they wanna. He almost finds their determination to ignore him totally more jarring.

And that's only half the problem. The other part is that even if he could find someone, his goddamn dick doesn't work anymore. Which would for sure pose a problem. So Johnny resigns himself miserably to a sexless and potentially loveless life, and pretends it doesn't make him want to die.

Still. Anyways. It all seems kinda redundant now, 'cause he's lying under the sky in the dirt with his pants halfway off, and you're—you're doing something, or you're tryin' something that Johnny is extremely skeptical about. A bit of time travelling with Gyro had taught him many times that there was a lot of things about the human body he was ignorant of, but he still can't help but be dubious of the claim you made to him a few minutes ago.

I'm gonna make you cum.

At once, a protest had risen to his lips. You can't. Almost a reflex. You'd cocked your head in inquiry, and Johnny had gone redder, down to the tips of his ears hidden by his hat. It's my—it doesn't work. Down there doesn't...

You seem to consider this for a few moments. Then you say, there's something else we can try.

You disappear inside the tent and come out with the bottle of aloe vera they'd been using to treat the burns that had blistered as a result of the unforgiving desert sun. He had red peeling skin all up his shoulders and the bridge of his nose.

He watches dubiously as you squeeze a clear, cold glob onto your fingers. "Wh—where are those goin'?"

He's pretty sure he has an idea.

"You know what a prostate is, Johnny dear?" You always call him that. Johnny dear, like it's all one word. Johnnydear. He always gripes and groans about it and then has to turn away extremely quickly to hide his flush. He's going to examine the reaction he gets when you baby him sometime, he promises himself, just not right now. He's got a lotta shit on his plate, okay? Corpses to find and such.

"N-no," he answers, stammering when you kneel between his legs and spread his thighs gently apart. He sucks in a breath; one of your fingers leaves a cool trail of aloe along the skin there.

"A prostate," you tell him patiently, like you're not situated between his naked thighs, "is a gland that people with your particular reproductory set are born with."

"You sound like Gyro," he mutters. "Kinda killing the mood a little."

"I just want to make sure you're fully informed." You roll your eyes. "It's just that you're leaking precum, see?" To his mortification, you swipe your fingers over the tip of the dick he can't feel and hold them up; under the starlight, they gleam, and he burns with embarrassment. "Means you might be able to feel it. Means I might be able to make you cum."

Johnny swallows hard. He wants—it sounds good. Sounds great. But with the hope comes that fear, an ever-present shadow. What if it doesn't work?

"Hey." You lean over him, and before Johnny can protest you've captured his lips, a slow, deliberate cling. Johnny loves kissing you. He thinks it might be his favourite thing to do, other than jockeying and he can't do that anymore, so this takes an automatic first place. He sighs and melts against you like softened butter, his hands winding themselves over your shoulder and jaw. He loves everything about it. The closeness, the slow gentle intimacy, the way you smell. That last part is probably weird, 'cause you mostly smell like sweat and leather, but Johnny likes it all the same.

You kiss for a while; one of your hand strokes soothing shapes into his ribcage. When you pull back, the panic that had been rearing up inside him has faded to a dull murmur.

"Don't get in your head about it," you whisper. "If you can't feel it, then that's that. You know I won't think less of you."

A lump rises in Johnny's throat, and he shields his eyes from the burning sun of you seein' right through him. "I know," he says, almost petulantly.

"So? Wanna give it a try?"

A part of him doesn't. A part of him is so, so scared. But a bigger part of him, the one that likes kissing you and likes the way you smell and the way you touch him and look at him and everything, really, is nodding before that first part can protest. You kiss him again with a smile, a little faster, a little dirtier this time. This is another thing Johnny likes about kissing—it can take so many different forms. Even if he did find the corpse pieces and get the use of his legs back, Johnny reckons he'd still like kissing more than real sex.

Your mouth starts moving down, sweeping the sensitive skin of his neck and collarbones, the valleys of his pectorals, a nipple. The last one makes Johnny gasp and you giggle, and he splays a palm over his face in embarrassment. You coax such stupid noises outta him. But you seem to enjoy it, so whatever.

Down, down, down. Somewhere between his navel and his pubic bone he stops feeling it. But it still somehow feels sorta nice, which doesn't make a whole lotta sense but it does to him, so. He watches you between his fingers as you reach between his legs, he thinks prodding.

You look up at him. "I'm going to put a finger in, okay?"

Johnny nods eagerly. "Don't gotta tell me. I won't feel it."

You roll your eyes. "I'm still gonna tell you. We can stop whenever, okay?"

"Okay," Johnny says impatiently, and wiggles his hips. You smack his hipbone playfully, which does nothing to temper his brattiness on account of him not feelin' a fuckin' thing. Then you get a quiet, serious, concentrated look on your face that Johnny usually only sees when you're fighting. Or when he's making you cum. That expression, more than any of your words or hesitation, it what makes him quiet down and take it serious.

There's a silence that stretches on. Johnny supposes you must be doin' something, considering the slight furrow he can see between your brows and the achingly careful, gradual movement of your wrist. Finally, after about a minute, you look up at him.

"My finger's in," you tell him, and Johnny bites his lip.

"Can't feel it," he says. He's starting to think this was a really bad idea.

"Just lemme—hold on," you say, and your wrist moves a little, and then—

Johnny keens. He feels, he fuckin' feels so much that it lights him up from the inside and sets his nerves alight, some part deep inside him that he didn't even know existed 'till five minutes ago and it's so good it immediately brings tears to his eyes.

"Oh," he says like he's surprised, and he is, apparently so much so that it's all he can say. "O-oh, oh, oh—"

Your finger retracts back into nothingness, and Johnny bites back a sob. "Johnny?" you ask worriedly. "Did you—is it too much?"

"No, no," he babbles, feeling incoherent already. You brush his hair back from his face with your free hand, the one that ain't inside him, your thumb stroking over his cheek. "It was—fuck, felt so weird. But good. Really, really good. Can you—are you gonna do it again?"

"Will if you want me to," you answer lovingly, and Johnny is biting back another sob for a whole different reason. "Might be a bit intense, Johnny dear. You sure you wanna?"

"Yes, yeah." He stares up at you beseechingly, feeling a bit pathetic but also too far gone to give a shit. "Please, I wanna—I wanna feel it again."

You nod, leaning over to kiss him again. Johnny relaxes into the embrace, losing himself in the familiar touch of your lips, the smell of you, taking the bite out of his surge of panic—and then with no warning you're brushing against that spot inside him again and he's moaning into your mouth, loud and unrestrained. It's pitchy and startled, and your free hand cups the back of his head as he pulls away in shock.

"Fuck, Jesus Christ," he swears, slamming his head back against the dirt. "O-oh, oh god, ohgodohgod—"

"Still good?" you ask, and your fingers made a weird sort of curling motion and it occurs to Johnny that you're movin' them in and out, sort of like you would if you were actually fucking him, and the thought makes him flush so hard he feels feverish. You're fucking him. You're fucking him.

He nods deliriously. "Mhm, yeah," he gasps out, feeling breathless, feeling giddy. "Don't stop, feels so fuckin' good, oh my god."

Your fingers press into him over and over like you're ringin' a bell, and all the while you kiss him and for the first time in ages Johnny feels that both parts of his body are equal. The bottom half has come alive under your jackhammering fingers, the top half consumed by you and your kiss. The kissing makes it so much better, 'cause Johnny reckons if anyone else had their fingers in his ass he'd probably hate it even if they were touching his whatdidyoucallit like that and making him feel amazing. He'd hate it 'cause they wouldn't be you.

The kissing reminds him it's you. The chaps on your lips, the smell of you, the feel of your face and skin, your body pressing into his. It's so all consuming it makes him wanna cry, in a good way, in a weird way. Your fingers move faster and weirder, and Johnny starts making those stupid oh! oh! noises again, stifling them against your mouth, and your tongue presses in and you swallow them whole.

All too soon, Johnny feels a weird tightening, one he hasn't felt since before the incident. He feels a constriction of panic, his fingers clutching at your clothing. "I—hah!—I f-feel weird."

"Bad weird?" Your fingers slow down, nearly stop, and Johnny whines.

"No, no, good weird, good," he pants. "Move again, fuck."

You pick up the pace; Johnny shudders, tensing in your hold all over again. He feels like he's burning, like he's sweating out everything bad he's ever felt.

"Do you mean you're gonna cum?" you ask, your voice lower this time, so close to Johnny's ear it makes him shiver. The harsh brush of your chapped lips against the soft skin there makes his body feel electric.

"I think," he whispers, eyes screwing shut. "Sorry—oh—I think, yeah."

"Don't feel sorry," you tell him almost sternly. "I want to see you cum, Johnny. Wanna see you cum so hard your pretty little head goes blank. You deserve it, yeah?"

"Yeah," he gasps out. "I deserve it."

What you do next with your fingers is almost brutal in the wracks of shivering pleasure it sends simmering through Johnny's body; every curl of them has him writhing and gasping and moaning, he must sound so stupid but you seem to be liking it and fuck, he's liking it, he likes feeling a little stupid and helpless while you take care of him and he's definitely gonna have to unpack that, but later, 'cause—

"I'm gonna cum," he gasps, hands flying out to curl in your clothing. "Baby, baby, I'm gonna cum, I—kiss me? Kiss me, okay, I wanna, oh, oh oh oh—"

You crash your lips together, and your fingers curl up one last lingering time and Johnny shatters. White stars explode over his vision, shatter inside his head, and for a split second it feels like every cell in his body freezes up and screams and dies. He's vaguely aware of some long, drawn-out, breathless noise he's making and the way you swallow it with your mouth.

It takes several seconds for him to come back down to earth. When he does it's to the sensation of you running your fingers through his hair and pressing soft, feathery kisses to his cheeks.

He pants like a dog. When you see his blue eyes on you, you sit up, seem to retract your fingers from between his legs. Your image starts to blur, and Johnny sees your expression crease in concern. He realises he's crying. Not like, actually, not like he's got something to be upset about. He's just... tearing up. Like someone's turned a faucet on behind his eyes and just left it there. He pushes the heels of his hands into the sockets and presses down, willing it to stop, willing the overwhelming feeling blooming in his chest to deflate.

"Hey, hey." Your voice, low and soothing, pressed into his hair, your arms holding him tightly. "You okay?"

"Yes," he says almost angrily. "I'm fine. Dunno why I'm—fuck. Sorry. I'm good, I promise I'm good. That was... so, so good."

Your expression of concern gives way slightly. "You sure?"

"Yeah." Johnny sucks in a shaky, wet breath. "Thanks. Thank you. I didn't even... I didn't even know I could feel like that anymore. Not just 'cause of—you know." He gestures vaguely to the lower half of his body. "All of it. Like, I didn't think anyone would wanna—while I'm still like this. And I—I figured I didn't deserve it, or something. But... it was really good."

Your smile is a little sad. "I'm glad, Johnny dear. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now that we know it works, we can do it again. And again, and again." He flushes, and you laugh sweetly, and Johnny could just die to the sound of it. "Still, we should get some rest for tonight. Gyro will skin us alive if we oversleep again."

You're right, of course. Johnny lets you maneuvre him onto his sleeping skin, and you unroll yours right next to him. When you do, Johnny reaches for you, clinging like a damn insect. But you don't seem to mind, 'cause you wrap your arms around his waist and bring him in even closer. He tucks his head into your shoulder.

He thinks that he'll get to kiss you tomorrow, too.

His sleep is dreamless and deep.

#🫀.scribes #jjba smut #jjba x reader #johnny joestar x reader #johnny joestar smut #jojo x reader #jojo smut #jjba x dom!reader #dom!reader #dom reader #jjba x dom reader #jjba x gn reader #jjba x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #braynes kinktober 23

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devastator1775 · 7 months

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Uzi helps N with overheating issues

This was supposed to be a simple scavenging outing; look for useable parts around the ruined city to fix the Pod. N was struggling, he could feel it. His movements were sluggish, he couldn’t focus, his circuitry was burning and he felt the thirst coming… He hadn’t drunk oil in a while, and now he was starting to get dangerously close to overheating … but he was fighting it. He couldn’t give in.

Not while he was with Uzi.

N steadied himself against the wall of the crumbling warehouse they were currently rummaging around in, taking in deep breaths of cold air in attempt to cool himself down. He growled softly when his visor displayed the [⚠ HIGH TEMP] alert again for the umpteenth time. He tried to get rid of the message, but it kept popping up again.

“C’mon, just go away.” N muttered to himself.

Uzi, who had been busy looking through a crate with parts, turned around to face her friend. “Did you say something, N?”

Uzi’s voice almost N jump. He quickly stood to attention and produced a sheepish grin. “N-nothing, Uzi.”

Uzi raised a digital eyebrow. “You’re acting goofier than usual.” She commented, after which she grinned mischievously at him. “Which is not saying much.”

N chuckled nervously. “That’s me, alright.” He tipped his cap. “Ol’ goofy N.”

Uzi rolled her eyes. “Whatever, keep your secrets for now. I’ll get you to spill the beans when we’re done here.” She kicked the crate with a huff. “Nothing but vintage-styled toasters in this one. Let’s check the 2nd floor.”

“Uh, you sure that’s a good idea?” N asked as he looked up at the ceiling. The warehouse they were in wasn’t in good condition in the first place, and the floor above them looked even worse. Parts of the ceiling had already broken, leaving holes and cracks everywhere. “It looks a bit …about-to-collapse-y.”

“Pshh, it’ll be fine.” Uzi countered as she made her way towards the nearby stairs. “It had held up this long. It’s not like it’s gonna all just fall down the moment we step foot on it.”

“Maybe, but- “

Uzi let out an annoyed groan and stomped up the stairs. “Stop stalling and let’s go, N!”

N grimaced, walking up the stairs and stopping on the lowest step, looking up where his compatriot had vanished out of sight. Uzi sounded frustrated, even more than usual. Ever since what happened during prom with Doll and the powers they both seem to have; she’d been pressed to find answers. This week, she figured that the pod could hold some answers; but with most of the systems broken beyond use, they needed to repair them if they’d get any sort of hypothetical answers. Which is why Uzi had been dragging N along to find parts on a daily basis lately. They’d mostly go to the furthest edges of the Ruined City, which meant N often had to wait until they got back to consume oil from his ‘stash’ – which was a nice way of saying ‘slurping the remaining oil out of one of the hundreds of Worker Drone corpses that were strewn around the pod so he wouldn’t overheat and die’. But Uzi was starting to become slightly desperate lately, which resulted in them staying away longer and longer before Uzi was content to leave. Which resulted in a few really close calls.

“Are you coming or what!?” Uzi shouted.

N flinched and rushed up the stairs. “C-coming, Uzi!” The last thing he wanted to deal with was an angry Uzi; or, more precisely: an angrier Uzi. Halfway up the stairs, he suddenly was overcome with a rush of dizziness, making him stumble and trip over his own feet. He landed with a thud and groaned in pain. A new message on his visor appeared: [⚠ Alert! Systems overheating! ⚠]. He quickly disabled the message, scrambled up and ran up the remainder of the stairs. He found Uzi standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed and annoyed expression clearly projected on her visor.

“What was that sound?” She asked. “Did you trip, or something.”

“Y-yeah, tripped.” N answered sheepishly.

“Ugh, why are you being such a freakin’ klutz lately?” Uzi groaned. “It’s starting to become really insufferable!”

N deflated visibly. “That’s a bit …harsh. Haven’t I been trying my best to help you this entire time?”

Uzi, instantly regretting what she said, shrunk in herself. “Way to go, Uzi Doorman. Insulting your only friend like that. She muttered to herself, wrapping her arms around her. She took a few steps forward. “N, I’m sorry. I didn’t-“

The floor beneath their feet suddenly groaned loudly, making Uzi stop dead in her tracks. She looked down at her feet, noticing how cracks were starting to form where she was standing.

Uzi gulped. “N?”

“I saw…. don’t move.”

“That’s, like, the opposite of what I should be doing, N!” Uzi gasped as she felt the floor drop a bit.

“Stay there!” N instructed. He gave Uzi a reassuring smile. “It’s gonna be alright, Uzi.”

Uzi managed to bring herself to smile a bit. “I know. I trust you.”

He smiled at her with a nod. He looked down to his feet and took a cautious step forward, his audio receptors primed to pick up on any signs of the floor giving out even more. He heard nothing. He tapped his foot a few times, but the floor beneath him seemed a bit sturdier than where Uzi was. “Okay, I got solid-ish ground here. What you’ll need to, is run as fast as you can to me. ”

“Can’t you just grab me or something?” Uzi asked, yelping as another crack formed, this time taking a bit of the floor with it, which dropped to the room below them. “Like, use those wings to fly and grab me?”

“I need to push myself pretty hard for that.” N answered. “If I try to take off, the pressure might collapse the entire floor.”

Uzi shifted her weight from one foot to the other – and instantly regretting it as she heard the floor groan again. She took a few deep breaths. “O-okay, I’m ready.”

“I’ll count to three and then-“

“I run as fast as I can, got it.” Uzi chuckled anxiously. “Looks like I’m eating my words about the floor not collapsing, huh?”

“I’m not holding it against you.” N held out his hand towards Uzi. “On the count of 3…”

N made sure his feet were planted firmly on the ground.

“2…”

Uzi took a starting position. “I have to be honest…”

“1! Now!”

“THIS SUCKS!” Uzi took off and ran as hard as her legs could take her.

Behind her, the floor started to crumble, pieces of concrete raining down on the floor beneath them. Uzi screamed all the way as she ran towards N. Just as the floor under her started to break, she jumped as hard as she could. N grabbed her hand and pulled her in, losing footing as Uzi’s tiny frame impacted against his body. He fell on his back, with Uzi curled up against his chest.

After a few moments, the floor had stopped collapsing, with only small pieces of debris falling down to break the silence that followed. The entire floor was gone, the majority was in the room below, leaving only a small area on top of the stairs undamaged, where the two drones were laying down.

A few moments passed, both of them breathing heavily as they were processing what just happened.

N heard Uzi suddenly yelp, followed by her frantically scrambling up. He heard her cough nervously. “So, eh …thank you for, you know, saving me from becoming crushed by rubble.” She rubbed her arm, guilt in her eyes. “And, I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it. You’re a big help, and – N, what’s wrong?”

N was groaning, squirming like he was in pain. He had pushed himself too hard when he wanted to help Uzi, and the exertion had accelerated his overheating. His entire body felt like it was aflame and he felt a thirst like never before.

N felt his body move, but it was like someone else was doing it for him, like he wasn’t in control. He pulled himself up, almost in a zombie-like manner. His gaze was downwards, his shoulders slouched and his tail whipping around menacingly. His wings deployed, slowly unfolding themselves to their full width.

He could hear Uzi shuffle backwards. “N?” The fear in her voice almost made him flinch.

He needed oil.

“U-Uzi …”

No matter where he got it.

N struggled to look up, his visor showing the message: [⚠ OVERHEATING ⚠ HUNTING MODE ACTIVATED]

Or from who.

Claws replaced his hands. “Run…”

The next moment, N suddenly found himself on top of Uzi, who frantically tried to push him off. He saw himself in the reflection of his visor. His eyes were replaced with an ‘X’ and mouth was stretched in wide smile, showing his jagged teeth. He could smell the oil that ran inside her body. Delicious oil, easily acquired. He opened his mouth and lunged down to take a bite, but Uzi, instinctively trying to defend herself, held her arm in front of her.

He felt his teeth sink in her metallic skin.

He could taste the oil, dripping from her wound.

It was delicious.

He bit down harder.

“N! Please!” He heard Uzi beg; her voice thick with pain. “Stop!”

It was the pained scream that erupted from Uzi’s mouth that made N realize what he was doing.

He was hurting Uzi.

He was going to kill her.

“No.”

With enormous effort, N managed to wrestle enough control over himself back to tear his mouth away from Uzi. He grabbed her and threw her to the side. N forced himself to back away, until he felt his back hit the wall.

“No! I’m not gonna…I’m not gonna” N shouted at himself. He saw Uzi looking at him, still fearful, disoriented, …easy prey. He felt himself getting ready to pounce again.

No, he had to stop himself. In the corner of his vision, he saw his tail whipping around. He reached out and grabbed the syringe, bringing the blade in front of his eyes.

“N!” He heard Uzi yell. “Don’t-!”

He shoved the blade in his visor.

There was a sharp pain.

And then his vision turned dark.

How long had he been offline? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? N couldn’t tell. The only thing he saw was darkness. But after what seemed to be only moments, a message suddenly popped up in his vision.

[SYSTEM REBOOT]

Slowly, his vision started to come back online, followed by the rest of his systems. The first thing N was aware of was Uzi’s voice, talking to him.

“-ease, open your eyes, your loveable numbskull!”

N opened his eyes with a gasp, immediately jumping up and get as much distance between him and Uzi. He quickly noticed that they were back on the ground floor of the warehouse. Uzi must’ve dragged him down the stairs.

“Uzi, please, don’t come closer!” N warned, holding out his hands.

“N, calm down.” Uzi said, taking a step towards him.

“No, I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I’m …”

Fine? He noticed was in control again. The urge to hunt and kill was gone. He was still close to overheating, but it wasn’t at as a dangerous level anymore.

“What …what happened?” N asked. “Why aren’t I…?”

Uzi held out her arm - the very one that N had tried to take a bite out of – which was still dripping oil from the bite wound he had given her. “It took a while, but I managed to cool down your circuitry, drip by drip. I figured I’d give you enough so you’d feel okay again.” She took a cautious step forward. “Are you? Feeling okay, I mean?”

N looked down at his hands, squeezing them shot a few times. “I …think so?”

“No urge to hunt …me?”

“No.”

“Good.” She balled her fist and threw a punch right in N’s face. BANG! The impact of Uzi’s fist cracked N’s visor, which quickly healed itself. Despite the damage, N didn’t even feel dizzy.

“OUCH, son of a glitch, that hurts.” Uzi shook her aching hand, shooting N an angry look.

“Listen, Uzi.” N started, guilt washing over him. “About what I did …. I’m so sorry about hurting you and scaring you like that.”

“Hurting me? Scaring me? How about what you did to yourself? That’s what scared me!” Uzi yelled angrily, shoving her finger against N’s chest. “What were you thinking, stabbing yourself with your tail like that? In your head, of all places! You’re lucky you missed your processor! And even then, it took so long for your regeneration to kick in, I almost thought you …you….” She took a deep sigh. “Seriously, don’t do that again.” She hissed in pain, grabbing her arm.

“Uh, do you want me to ….” N asked cautiously, pointing at Uzi’s injured arm. “I mean, I know you probably don’t trust me right now, but- “

Uzi held out her arm, a soft smile on her face. “I do trust you.” She assured. “Now, please fix this, it’s starting to sting.”

N nodded and gently took hold of Uzi’s arm, bringing it closer to his face. He ran his tongue over her wound, letting the regenerative nanites do their work.

“Ugh, still gross…” Uzi commented, holding up her arm to her face to see the wound close, until it looked brand new.

“Aren’t you mad I attacked you?” N asked. He genuinely was confused why Uzi was still here. Why did she help him, after he put in her danger like that.

“Oh, I’m mad, trust me on that.” Uzi replied, shooting him a brief angry look, before letting out a sigh and letting her expression soften. “But …I know you weren’t in control. You couldn’t help yourself.”

“Still, that doesn’t- “

“And, it’s not the first time you ever attacked me.” Uzi crossed her arms. “Remember how we met? That time, you were actively trying to kill me.”

“And you shot my head off.”

“You deserved it, then.” Uzi sighed and walked over to him, fists on her hips. “N, why didn’t you tell me you were overheating?”

N shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He sighed. “I thought we would be back before it would become a problem.” He replied. “I mean, the last few times we did, so I figured- “

“Wait, ‘last few times’?” Uzi asked, making N slap his hand on his mouth. “You mean, this almost happened before? Not only once, but multiple times?”

“Y-yeah…?”

Uzi stared at N in disbelieve for several silent moments, before she walked up to him, her fists balled. “Kneel down, you tall jerk, I’m gonna punch your lights out again!” She threw a punch, but N managed to dodge it. “Why weren’t you drinking oil before we left? You know that I know that you need it! Is it because of me? Are you trying to spare me from seeing it? Is it-“

Uzi froze dead in her tracks, horrified realization beaming from her visor. “It is because of me….”

“No-no-no, Uzi, it’s not- “

“Yes, it is!” Uzi interrupted. “I’ve been making you come with me every day, and each day we’re leaving earlier and getting back later. And every time you asked me if we shouldn’t go back, I just ignored you. My stubbornness did this to you.”

When she suddenly made a dash towards him, N briefly thought she’d try to punch him again, but to his surprise she threw her arms around him into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, N!”

N slowly wrapped his arms around her. “H-hey, it’s okay…”

“It’s not!”

“Okay, but you’re not the only one who’s at fault here – not that It’s your fault.”

“N, I am saying it’s my fault.” Uzi said again. “Because I’m such a screwup!”

“And I should’ve said I was overheating, so ….I guess we’re both screwups.” N presented her with a soft smile.

Uzi gazed in his eyes for a few moments, before she let out a chuckle. “I can live with that…” She sighed. “Let’s promise not to let this happen again? We’re gonna tell these sort of things to each other now?”

“Promise.” N agreed with a bright smile.

Uzi stepped away from the hug, a blush on her visor. “So, uh, you good on …your overheating issue?” Just as N opened his mouth to answer, she quickly interrupted him. “And remember what you just promised!”

N sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. “I …maybe need a bit more, just so I’m sure I’ll be able to fly to pod all the way without any more problems.”

Uzi sighed deeply. “I guess it can’t be helped. I guess you-” she suddenly blushed fiercely. “You, eh …you can …bite me?”

“You sure?”

“S-sure, why not?” Uzi replied, rubbing her arms shyly. “You, uh, are in control of yourself, right?”

“I think so…” He chuckled nervously when he saw Uzi’s blank reaction. “Ehh, I mean, I am, definitely, yes siree.”

“Guess that’ll have to do….” Uzi shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “So, uh, how you wanna …do this”

“I guess I’ll … “ N walked up to her, suddenly very much aware of how much taller he was compared to his Worker Drone companion. He nervously opened the zipper of Uzi’s hoodie halfway, partially exposing the bare chassis. He slid the hoodie down a bit, so that her shoulders were showing. He looked up when Uzi let out a shaky breath. “You good?”

Uzi nodded, blushing brightly. “Y-yeah, just …be-be gentle.”

“Just try to relax, Uzi…” N instructed softly. He picked her up, giving her time to wrap her legs around his waist and get a good hold on him. “I’ll try not to hurt you too much, okay?”

“S-sure….”

“Okay, here I …here I go…” N took a deep breath and slowly lowered his head to her shoulders. His mouth split open, his jagged fangs showing. He felt Uzi’s grip on him tighten. His teeth brushed the plating, making Uzi gasp softly. He softly bit down, putting enough pressure to break through the mesh. Warm oil started to leak from the wound.

“Ow…” Uzi whimpered softly, her fingers digging into N’s arms.

N placed his mouth over the wound and started to take slow, cautious sips. His visor showed the message [COOLDOWN COMMENCING], prompting him to take a few bigger gulps.

“Ah!” Uzi exclaimed softly, her hands gripping at N’s jacket as she whimpered quietly.

When N’s visor showed that he had drunk enough oil to cool down at least 10%, he tried to retreat, but Uzi pushed his head back against her shoulder.

“No, keep going!” She whimpered softly. “You – ah – you need it.”

As more oil flowed down N’s throat, he started to feel something boil in the deepest part of his system. Something primal, something hungry. A low growl rumbled from his chest as he pulled Uzi against him, taking in deep gulps of her precious oil. He fell on his knees, making Uzi squeak in surprise. His grip around her shoulders tightened.

“Ah, N …careful…” She implored softly.

There was no fear in her voice, N noticed, but …something else? She wasn’t fighting him, nor was she giving any sort of sign she wanted him to stop. After a few more moments, N forced himself to tear away from Uzi’s shoulders. He panted, hot air escaping from his mouth. His visor showed he had 50% cooldown. That was more than enough. He turned his attention to her wound and lowered his head down again, his tongue slowly coming out of his mouth. He gently licked her wound, making her gasp in surprise.

“N, give me some warning next time…” Uzi groaned quietly.

“Sorry…” N apologized softly, before he started licking her wound again. When he was sure that it was closed again, he gently put Uzi back on the ground. He held on to her hands when he noticed she was a bit wobbly on her feet. “ You good, Uzi?”

“I …I’m a bit dizzy, but …otherwise okay.” Uzi stated weakly, shaking her head to in an attempt to get rid of the dizziness, which only made her more dizzy. Her visor suddenly showed the message: [Error: Equilibrium compromised]. Uzi’s legs instantly gave out, but N quickly scooped her up before she could hit the ground.

“Ugh …thanks, N.” Uzi stated weakly, an embarrassed smirk on her lips.

“Guess I overdid it a bit, huh?” N gave her an apologetic look. “Sorry.”

“’S fine…you needed it more than me.” Uzi looked away for few moments. “Just …don’t mention this to V, you hear me? If she’ll get wind that this happened, she’ll never let me live this down.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Good…” Uzi’s eyes started to close. “Can you take me home, please? I think… I need a nap…and a few cans of oil.”

“No problem, Uzi.” N started, as he walked out of the warehouse. “We’ll have you before y-“

He froze when he suddenly felt Uzi’s lips briefly touch his cheek. He blinked a few times, staring in front of him, cheeks burning bright. After returning to reality, he noticed that Uzi had fallen asleep in his arms. The sight did bring a smile on his face. He unfurled his wings and took off, with Uzi safely in his arms.

#murder drones fanfiction #murder drones #murder drones uzi #murder drones N #biscuitbites #nuzi #enzi #n x uzi

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beelzeballing · 10 months

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actually i dont think ive posted my thoughts on ofmd s2 overall here yet have i?

ok here goes: i think it had incredibly high highs, and at some parts i genuinely enjoyed it more than i did the first season, episode 6 being peak imo. however, it had equally abysmal lows with some glaring writing-, tone- and pacing issues that all came to a head in the finale.

i once read someone say that, if you ever feel like a finale ruined the whole story, maybe you should take another look at the story. there were most likely cracks and problems all along, and the finale did nothing besides dashing the hope that these would perhaps be addressed later. very rarely do genuinely well written stories go completely off the rails in the finale and ruin the whole thing.

i think this is applicable here in some ways, SPECIFICALLY in regards to edward. good god edward was a MESS this season, and it's so sad because i loved the starting point! the kraken era was absolutely terrifying and iconic as FUCK but... they shouldn't have leaned so hard into the drama and trauma of it all. don't get me wrong, i loved that it did. it's one of my favorite parts of the season and i'm so glad we got it. but if they wanted this arc to work with the overarching plot as they wrote it, they would've had to lighten up the tone here CONSIDERABLY. had they played the kraken era for comedy then sure! edward's bad youtuber apology would've been funny. his fast redemption would've been less jarring. the lack of consequences less disturbing. but as it stands in the show, this arc is too dark to function with the later episodes.

i feel like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too here. they wanted the gritty drama of ed coming off the hinges entirely but also didn't want to deal with the aftermath of such a heavy arc in their silly pirate romcom. be that due to time constraints and budget cuts or because they were simply unwilling to, doesn't really matter in the end. the result is the same either way: a very tonally messy season with some accidentally troubling implications regarding abuse.

and mentioning troubling implications regarding abuse; izzy. my poor, poor izzy... his arc was absolutely glorious. i liked izzy the second he showed up in s1 and i was absolutely EATING this season up in that regard. and i think in this case, they genuinely did fuck it all up in the finale with that one stupid choice:

choosing to kill izzy was the DUMBEST thing they couldve done here.

ive talked about this over and over and over again. ive reblogged so many meta posts. and still i am left absolutely flabbergasted by how stupid of a decision this was. the fridging, playing at the fallen woman trope, killing the beating heart of the season and the character who delivers what is essentially a thesis statement, killing off the character whose arc is about coming to terms with his disability, having him die in edward's arms, comforting him and apologizing after an entire season of finding community and love outside of edward, the absolutely godawful pacing of it all, the extremely easy and obvious solution of just having IZZY become the new captain of the revenge to mirror s1 and hammer home how much he has developed since then in one go... i could go on. and i have. it was a stupid writing decision, completely fucked the tone and pacing of the finale and took away attention and time from things that really would've deserved a better wrap up (lucius and black pete deserved better)

now. the whole prince ricky & zheng plot line... yeah that shit sucked ass, sorry. they bit off more than they could chew here. i honestly think those are the arc words of this season:

✨️ bit off more than they could chew ✨️

right off the bat: i think he was good as a concept. bringing in a foil for stede who just doesn't Get It as stede does could've made for very good comedy and drama (and to be fair there is some of that). but that shit got away from them extremely quickly. nothing about how he's implemented past his first episode works, and i think this is very specifically because he's mostly played as the comic relief in his debut episode. making this completely bumbling fool, who gets his nose hacked off on his first job, the main villain of your entire season is... definitely a choice. idk. he didn't work for me at all.

ok wow mentioning shit getting away from the writers. this definitely got away from me. this was supposed to be a short lil post. well. i guess tl;dr i loved this season but jesus christ there was a lot wrong with it. if you want to hear more thoughts. ask box is open. be my guest. i have more to say so even if you dont ask i might add more to this at some point but im tired and have work tmrw.

#i was going to do shit today and now look at me.#0:18 at night #laying in bed #writing this shit #i havent even eaten.#christtttt #moogsin'#ofmd #izzy hands #our flag means death #ofmd meta #ofmd critical #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers #the izcourse #im not tagging any of the other characters cuz i shittalk all of them 😭#listen i love edward hes my babygirl but this season did him DIRTY.

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cripplecharacters · 3 months

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Hello! I'm in the middle of a story where my character is about to become Deaf/HoH in one ear as a result of a gun being fired right next to her ear.

I've been doing a lot of research on the effects of being deaf in one ear and was hoping for some tips on how to accurately depict it without falling into any harmful tropes if I haven't already?

Some key things to note are that this is a fanfiction about Attack on Titan, so she's fighting a lot and hearing is very important.

She has had an ability that she was essentially born with that she can see memories of the past and future, and she also visits another world in her dreams and such. Would it be harmful if in this other world she could still hear? She's one of the only characters who can go into the other world and it's not as though she could rely on her hearing in the other world (shes rarely there with other ppl) or use it to hear properly again in reality (if that makes sense)

I just figured it'd make sense since she was essentially there in spirit

When she's seeing someone else's memories she's essentially seeing through their eyes/in their body so that's another instance where she'd still he able to hear assuming the person she was seeing through was hearing

It's really mostly going to affect her ability to fight, and because a big part of her motivation is gaining freedom and not letting anyone fight/die for her, it takes a toll of that makes sense.

This is the first time I'm writing someone with a disability such as this so I want to make sure I write it right, and if I can't or am causing any harm, I won't write it at all

I hope this all makes sense, and if not I apologize

Hi!

You did not write a lot about how you are treating your character’s hearing loss so I don’t know if you are falling into any tropes. Here are some tips:

Deafness in one side, especially when used to equal hearing in both ears, can make someone feel off-balance due to the uneven input. Your character will have trouble locating sounds and may find herself constantly turning her head to try and locate where noises are coming from with her hearing ear. She will also likely struggle with conversations among multiple people because of that difficulty with sound location.

In terms of accommodations: I don’t know about tech in your world, but a lot of audio these days is mixed/surround sound style, meaning there is a difference in audio to each ear. In many modern devices there is an option for mono audio so output through both ears is the same—your character will want to use that. A hearing aid may also help, but not necessarily, and hearing aids are not a cure.

You mentioned she’s a fighter. Hearing loss may affect her ability to hear commands or incoming attacks, but with assistive technology (like a hearing aid or an fm system) if those work for her, and an increased reliance on visual cues, I don’t think she would have to stop fighting because of her hearing loss. (Admittedly I don’t know the source material so if I am missing something about how fighting operates, please let me know. But deafness shouldn’t remove her fighting ability.)

As for the dreamworld, I think it best if she was not functionally hearing because that is acting as a cure. Maybe it can work sort of like a movie, where someone else’s input is received through her own senses? So even if they are hearing, she still hears with her hearing ear.

Mod Rock

#mod rock #deaf character #unilateral deafness representation #anonymous

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nerdyenby · 5 months

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Reasons you should watch Bodies (netflix, 2023) (some spoilers)

Fucking superb concept and intrigue

Time travel murder mystery, need I say more?

“I don’t really trust any of these characters (except Sharara)” to “I would die for each and every one of them”

We got four protagonists: a repressed gay guy, a Jewish guy trying to be stoic and failing spectacularly, a Black Muslim woman being a empathic badass, and a Disabled woman dealing with a shit ton of internalized ableism

Every time period has a duo to die for: we got forbidden lovers, found family x2, and extreme chemistry between detective and murder suspect/victim

Really fresh take on time travel while still being understandable and somewhat familiar

You will cry

Proving your boyfriend wrong by proving the existence of free will to save his life

Extremely complex moral issues: “bad” people are a result of their circumstances and cyclical abuse and neglect, and are not beyond change

The cycle of pain is not fixed, you can change it, you can heal yourself by stopping the hurt that shaped you into who you’ve become

Disabled people do not need to be fixed

The villain affirms queer identities back in the 1800s

Snarky orphan and snarky corrupt cop <3

There are four main characters and all of them have a significant role in changing the past and saving the world, there is no singular main character, it’s a team effort despite most of them never interacting

There is no excuse for emotional neglect, your pain doesn’t make you stronger, it just hurts, you became strong on your own, because you had to and because you decided to

#bodies 2023 #bodies netflix #bodies2023 #bodiesnetflix

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fmet · 5 months

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Mithrun is a fantastic, fantastic character. He is undoubtedly severely disabled, cannot care for himself, has clear physical and mental limitations but people still recognize his authority as the Canary’s captain, for his knowledge about the dungeon’s demon, and for his vehemence, and as a result he’s highly respected. This doesn’t mean that his limitations are ignored, but they don’t negate the abilities that he is alleged to have. For a lot of the manga, these extraordinary abilities in spite of his limitations are what define his character. Because he can, and desires to, continue fighting and involving himself in the dungeon’s fate, he does, and we’re expected to believe that because he does is the only reason he can continue going. His exceptionalism in magic, in knowledge, and in character is what is keeping him alive, and without any of these things, his disability would kill him—is what we’re supposed to believe.

But this isn’t what happens. When all three of these points become moot after the dungeon collapses and the demon is defeated, he doesn’t die. He would have died, certainly, if the circumstances were different, but the words Kabru and Senshi spoke to him about the concept of renewal, both directly and indirectly, made him realize how much he could still do with life if he wished. He has a brother and many of the canary’s who are willing to continue caring for him, and in post-canon it’s shown that this is what ends up happening. He lives on not through the brute force of his skills, but through an open perspective and the helping hands of others.

A big overarching question that dungeon meshi likes to pose through it’s story is what makes a person, society, idea, etc, able to propagate— what lets someone or something continue on, establish a legacy, accomplish their goals, or simply not die. We’re shown people who live through their physical strength, their exploitation of others, their charisma, their mind, sheer force of will (whether their own or someone else’s), but all of these are eventually demonstrated to be inefficient on their own, because they disregard the inherent nature of mortal living things: Those that eat, live; Those that eat with others will thrive; and those able to feed others have the highest character of anyone. This is why the Winged Lion is such a powerful concept, this is why Laios makes a good king, this is why Falin survives despite all odds, this is why Thistle doesn’t.

Mithrun may have survived for his revenge, and gained renown for doing so, but he could never live for it, because it inevitably would lead to his death (and this turns out to be what he wanted anyway). It wasn’t his abilities or this desire that made him “worth” rehabilitating or caring for. His disability was never a caveat to these “advantages” of having him live. It’s only his willingness to eat, and others making sure he continues to do so (Misiril, the Canary’s, his brother, Kabru, Senshi), that made his survival for this long possible. Realizing this in the wake of lacking the “admirable” desire for vengeance he once did is one of the more healing character conclusions that Dungeon Meshi offers. As long as he has something he wants to do, he will eat, and he will live, and people will be at his side as he does so. The value of his character “in spite” of his disability is irrelevant.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #dm #Before he became a canary this way of thinking about his life also seems pretty significant #Because he’s handsome and a noble and had a girl back home and was better than his brother. That’s what he lived for.#And it ended up almost destroying him #Mithrunnnnnn I love you mithrun. You and guts berserk would be bestfriends

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silvyavan · 2 months

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New theory time before any leaks drop.

Had this one in the back-burner for a long ass time but now we're sitting down and writing it at last.

Each and every fight between the black bulls and the paladins of sort WILL have a devastating impact on Lucius and chip away at his mental stability and confidence. Each Lucius fight fuck him up mentally like taking the horcrux tally off of voldemort.

We'll start with the first one we know: Magna and Luck.

Chapter 369 Lucius' thoughts are first that from Magna's spell, his magic is split in thirds, then his regeneration being slow from antimagic, that they're chipping away at him and that he "only needs to endure it for a little while" before he can start fighting back.

The wording implies that Lucius just needs to endure it a little and he'll win. The problem? He doesn't, a clone gets busted up out of the 11 ones they have and the angel homunuclus amount dropped too damn fast. Magna and Luck aren't even done, I'm not sure if it's the panels or not but it looks like they're in the Black Bull Mecha too.

What does this mean? Magna and Luck fucked up his confidence in winning just with his clones so he started the shit early to finish it. Them beating the clone into the ground and at the end of the chapter, Asta saying "So which one of us has the advantage now?" Is telling Lucius that yhe plan is no longer in the position to just keep going with the plan. He can't wait out the clones to fuck them up, so he's panicking and starting the tree spell early.

And the same is gonna follow with everyone else.

Gauche will fuck up his confidence in being a proper elder sibling. Man's has in previous chapters stated that he and his siblings will remake humanity, but later it was shown he's got their bodies in cocoons and using their magic to make clones and homunuclus. Man's essentially walking around saying "this is for the good of the world" while desecrating the corpses of his siblings.

I know in my heart Gauche will call him a piece of shit brother. If dark triad being ..like that due to Lucius tempering with their souls, then it would also put him in shit brother category. It would also add to character development for Gauche, showcasing him becoming more aware of things outside of his sister and caring for other people while also not choosing to be narrow-minded in one thing/person entirely. I'm basing this off of the fact that he's teamed up with Rill, who's also very focused on his art but as a result his interpersonal life is struggling.

Plus Gauche big brotherism vs Lucius negative 2 star big brother behaviors would be hilarious.

Noelle, Vanessa and Grey together shit would be realising that him being a noble didn't mean shit for talent. He calls himself a prodigy that's able to purify devils, but Noelle didn't start off with even basic magic control, Vanessa was literally shut off from the rest of the world to make a red string of fate by her mother, the Witch Queen, and Grey, assuming her father is also a noble, was harassed for her magic and lack of ability to do anything or stand up for herself.

We know that the Zogratis were a noble family in Spade so it wouldn't be surprising that that added to Lucius' pride, and being a prodigy it would've elevated that he didn't have to worry about power coming to him.

A noble with social anxiety and ptsd, an alcoholic immigrant and a royal with an undiagnosed learning disability beating his ass would show that having a lineage ain't worth shit. None of them were remotely talented because of their lineages, they had gotten to the point where they were through their own efforts and challenging themselves.

Henry vs Lucius would be a disability on disability violence fight. AGAIN, showing that his disability, while it did hold him back, was not a definitive show that he had to do shit on his own. We could get a possible flashback of Lucius being abandoned by his parents, left to fend for his siblings, as a parallel to Henry being left to die in the house he had. The difference is that Henry was found by Yami, who reached out to him, and Henry never stopped hoping to have a family, even if one wasn't bound by blood.

The Lucius Clones vs Black Bulls quartet would be his realisation that you can get stronger by means that don't require you to be a genuis and he didnt. ALL of them have some form of unorthodox magic that, reasonably, couldn't have worked on the battlefield (ash, sealing, spacial with no offensive traits, cotton/cooking).

Considering Lucius has soul magic, he thought the only way to get magic would be to hijack other people's souls. Vs Finral, Zora, Charmy and Secre who at SEVERAL points in their flashbacks/backstories were alluded to being out down by others for having simple or weak magic types, but didn't give up and instead found to use their magic to help their allies in unorthodox means (traps, food buffs and sheep soldiers, sealing entities/enemies, speed boosting teleportation and likely more).

Yami, Ichika and Nacht? Something along parents being hoes isn't an excuse to be a sociopath witn a hint of scary magic doesn't define you as person. The fact this is Ichika saving Yami from someone he can't fight against (paralleling Yami protecting her from their dad) and Nacht stopping Morgen from doing something he's gonna regret (paralleling the Faust Devil Summoning Incident) is just chefs kiss.

You could also say that, since both of them were in devil related clans (Yami's being partially mixed with devil hybrids, Nachts family just being the Clover equivalents of Zogratis.), this could challenge Lucius' views that he HAD to fo some devil/forbidden magic shit to become stronger, because that's the type of family he has and that's the only thing his magic can do.

Gordon will fuck up his confidence in dealing with devils/curses, assuming the disability will also be a curse thing/metaphor/his curse and disability are a hint at comorbidies. The fact that Gordon is teamed up with William AND Charlotte? And being able to absorb their curses, taking off their supposed handicaps?

Gordon is handing this man the L, as well beating up some supposed idea of, since Lucius was cursed, he was shunned. William and Charlotte are both leaders in their respective squads, highly respected and looked up to, Gordon himself is part of the squad and he's cherished as well. The curse is not an excuse to act like an asswipe.

The fact that Noelle, Vanessa and Grey are paired on the same page spread as Gauche and Rill could hint at familial relations frictions, while Nacht and the In-Laws group and Gordon pulling up with the Cursed Captains Crew could allude to friction/trauma in relation to his family history/traditions.

Henry, Magna and Luck could hint at his struggles with managing his disability (Henry is chronically ill, Luck may have a neurological disorder due to ptsd, Magna needs glasses and has severe scarring on his head, likely brain trauma). The Zora, Finral, Charmy and Secre lineup could deal with his issues of being born with a seemingly strange and unorthodox magic and how he'd focus on developing it.

Asta and Yuno? Obviously dealing with his dreams, goals and aspirations as well as mental instability caused by all the aforementioned.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

#black clover #black clover manga #black clover theory #lucius zogratis #ichika yami #morgen faust #gauche adlai #vanessa enoteca #grey black clover #gordon agrippa #henry legolant #silv writes

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fairytale-poll · 7 months

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ROUND 1B, MATCH 6 OUT OF 8!

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Sayaka:

It's a clever play on the story where, rather than the littlest becoming human for love and a soul, instead she becomes a mermaid after loosing both, even gaining the bittersweet ending of having a chance at heaven but she still needs to do good after death

i was surprised to learn that sayaka's story is based on the little mermaid, but it makes more sense the more i think about it. such a heartbreaking, tragic tale that i get emotional ocer every time.

A lot of Madoka Magica fans believe she is based off of the original Little Mermaid story cuz, just like the original Little Mermaid, Sayaka loved a boy and said boy did not reciprocate. SPOILERS, she makes a contract with Kyubey to become a magical girl and in return her wish was to help Kyosuke (the guy she likes) who was disabled. Later on when she becomes a witch cuz she felt she wasn't good enough for Kyosuke and doesn't tell him about her feelings, her witch form is a mermaid. I suck at explaining but I hope my propaganda helps 🙏

(Major spoilers for madoka magical)Okay so I will admit her allusion to the little mermaid ain't super obvious, but let me explain, she is based on the original story for the little mermaid, she makes a wish for the sake of a boy she loves basically sacrificing her soul, well he ends up in love with another girl, and as a result she ends up going on a downward spiral and transforms into a monster known as a witch, her witch form is a mermaid.

Even though she's not a mermaid outside her witch form, her story is made to be a direct parallel to the self-sacrificial nature of the little mermaid, even letting herself die. This isn't the end tho because in one of the happier endings of the little mermaid she still becomes sea foam/dies but she also has a chance at becoming a sea spirit and helps others, this is very similar to Sayaka's final fate in the anime where after Madoka rewrites the universe Sayaka still gets corrupted/dies but instead of becoming a witch, she becomes apart of the law of cycles and helps Madoka save other magical girls. There are way to many similarities to her story and the little mermaid for it to just be coincidence imo.

Poor girl is stuck in a craptastic world where horrible monsters kill you, the only way to fight back is to become a zombie child soldier killing what remains of your own kind for survival, the wish you made will inevitably blow up in your face because the person granting it is a jackass, and the writer is hellbent on shitting on the girl power ethos of the magical girl genre by making it so that girls suffer and die for trying to achieve reasonable desires like "not starving to death" and attaining agency in their lives dooms you even harder because of womanly emotions. She needs a win. Also, she is explicitly paralleled with The Little Mermaid--she is a tragic figure who makes a deal to help the boy she loves in exchange for putting her life on a ticking clock, only to be passed up in favor of another girl. As a result, she dies and becomes something else--in this case, Oktavia von Seckendorff, "the mermaid witch."

Ponyo:

determined 5yo girls are more powerful than god

PONYO!!!!

As a child i did not even realize this was a little merm adaptation, but it really reads. She is sooo strange and other worldly and the movie absolutely captures that dreamlike fairy tale vibe

Ponyo a roughly five-year-old magical goldfish who can transform into a frog-type thing and a human girl. She's the eldest daughter of the literal goddess of the sea and a former human sailor given immortality. She falls in love with the five-year-old boy who cares for her and is thrilled to explore his ordinary yet magical world. She's bouncy, exuberant, and joyful. She loves ham. She doesn't have to give up her voice.

ponyo ponyo ponyo little fishie in the sea!

Little fishy

THEY LOVE HAM

#sayaka miki #ponyo #madoka magica #puella magi madoka magica #studio ghibli #the little mermaid #little mermaid #fairytale #fairy tale #poll tournament #poll bracket #character polls #polls #round 1 #round 1b #the little merpoll #ik i used 2 pictures for sayaka but i thought seeing her witchform was worthwhile bc of its mermaidness

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magicrainbowkitties · 28 days

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I know the game is forever old at this point but I'm still so damn pissed that Arkham Knight still ended up being all about Joker instead of Scarecrow. Like. The fucker's DEAD. The writer that came up with that should've been absolutely MAKING OUT with themselves cause HOLY CHRIST that frees up so much to explore with the other villains!

Instead he upstages fuckin SCARECROW from beyond the grave! That's fuckin stupid! There is SO. MUCH. To do with Scarecrow, or other Batman fears! Here's just a few off the dome:

- Vulnerability, be that emotional, physical, mentally, ect. Bruce has been hurt so many times by so many people, and his inability to give and receive trust and lay down guard is one of his biggest character flaws. Bruce Wayne is a very deeply loving, caring man that FORCES HIMSELF to stop trusting people because he is afraid of what will happen if he lets too many people (or the wrong people) into his world and life. Fuckin explore that, nerd!

- Losing everyone he loves. He's got the Batfam in this timeline, and Jason Todd went through WAY more this way round than in other settings (seriously that was a little bit fucked tbh, more on that in a minute). But in this game, he's dismissive of them, cold even, when they try to reach out. THE WRITER THAT CAME UP WITH THAT SHOULD'VE KISSED THEMSELVES FOR THEIR GENIUS, and then BLATANTLY MADE THAT COLDNESS A RESULT OF HIS FEAR THAT HIS KIDS ARE GONNA GET HURT AND HE'S SCARED OF WATCHING THEM DIE LIKE HIS PARENTS, rather than having it come across as the stoic badass attitude he's had throughout the series. We're told he loves his kids, but maybe show that a little more!

- Failure. They talked about this a little with the whole Arkham Knight plotline, but it could've (should've, really) been the focus (given it's THE FUCKIN NAME OF THE GAME). In fact, that scene where he finds out what happened to Jason should've been a fear gas dream, Joker's presence relegated to these hallucinatory scenes of Jason being violently tortured, the reality of the situation being only hinted at or brushed off because Jason, surprisingly enough, doesn't wanna talk about it. This all can encapsulate Bruce's innate fear of failing in his duty as both Batman and as a father, and his fear of confronting his past failures in the form of Jason Todd. And given this is FUCKING SCARECROW'S GAME, the guy who's all about plucking on fear and setting people against each other because they're afraid, he should've figured out how to exploit the fear of failure from the very beginning.

If the whole point is that Joker needs Batman but Batman doesn't need Joker, then why is it that the fear of becoming Like Joker Batman's fear gas hallucinations here? Sure, he can tangle with the fear of killing and wanton violence, even the fear that were he to intentionally kill someone, he wouldn't be able to stop.

But let's be so fucking for real: This Batman would not enjoy it. This Batman barely enjoys beating people up for Riddler info. He certainly wouldn't take the explicitly carnal pleasure in death that this Joker did. He couldn't stomach the idea of killing random people, he could barely stomach the idea of killing fucking Edward Nygma, and even THAT is stretching it HARD. Bc this Batman believes STRONGLY in punitive justice (despite 3 gamesworth and a whole career of experience to the contrary at that point), as shown in all previous entries. Now, he'll certainly LET people die (FUCKING HELL, DUDE, TYGER IS COMMITTING A LITERAL GENOCIDE RIGHT NOW AND YOU WANNA GO AFTER JOKER!? BE FOR REAL!), and is obviously ok with life-alteringly disabling people in settings where that would kill them (looking at you "if you're done eating solid food" in City, where people talk about quite literally starving in the cold all game long), but refuses to even kill a guy HE KNOWS WILL JUST RESURRECT IN 3 HOURS.

And his big fear is becoming Joker bc he has left over Joker Juice in his system?

Be so FUCKING for real.

Let Scarecrow Scarecrow in the goddamn Scarecrow game. That shit they did in Asylum? Shoulda been a whole game of THAT. Because that was fucking awesome.

#Batman #batman arkham series #batman arkham knight #batman arkham city #batman arkham asylum #arkhamverse #arkham asylum #arkham knight #arkham city #arkham batman #the scarecrow #scarecrow #arkham scarecrow

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nothorses · 1 year

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So have you ever like. Talked to people that were homeschooled? Or did you just read one story online about a cult homeschooling their kids and went "fuck this is awful public school is so much better"?

I was homeschooled until 5th grade and then sent to public school. I lasted until 7th grade before I had to fucking beg my parents to homeschool me again. I was literally waking up for school in the mornings and immediately having a mental breakdown. I was constantly trying to fake being sick so I didn't have to go.

Homeschooling was SO much fucking better. I didn't have to sleep in jeans and a bra and t-shirt so that I was already dressed when I woke up, just so I had time to eat a small bowl of cereal before being forced to leave.

I didn't have to worry about classmates making fun of me behind my back, or my "friends" insulting me or going out of their way to embarass me in front of my crushes.

I didn't have to worry about having a cold or the flu or my period and being forced to go to school and be miserable all day covered in blood and snot.

I didn't have to worry about being given lunch detention because I forgot one book (probably because I have memory issues from severe ADHD)

I didn't have to worry about being overwhelmed with homework. I didn't have to worry about my teachers or classmates making me feel like a fucking idiot because I couldn't do math (wow turns out I have a severe learning disability that somehow no one noticed).

I didn't have to worry about being forced to run the pacer test in gym and not being allowed to rest, resulting in me throwing up.

You can't tell people "omg just because YOU had a bad time in school doesn't mean you're allowed to dislike it!!! Not all public school is bad!"

and then turn around and go "Homeschooling is awful it's just a bunch of religious bigot cultists teaching their children how to be bigots and children never getting to go out and socialize with their peers!!!"

All I learned from public school was:

Keep my fucking mouth shut, do not speak unless spoken to

Don't do anything "weird" or "different" (AKA show signs of having autism)

If you don't stay in school and go to college (AKA put yourself in thousands of dollars of debt in exchange for a piece of paper that doesn't actually guarantee you a job) then you'll die in a ditch somewhere

Don't even bother trying to make friends, they'll just treat you like shit

I was never taught anything useful that I couldn't have just learned by myself at home. I was never taught how to pay bills or what a mortgage is or how to grow my own food or raise my own animals for meat or how credit cards work or how to take care of myself after my parents die.

Public school is there to terrorize children and destroy them mentally until they conform to what society wants, so that they become the perfect unquestioning unthinking cogs in the machine that will work until they die.

It's there to make money for colleges because kids are never taught about trade jobs or making their own businesses/companies, they're taught that college is the be all end all and if you don't go there (and give them your time and money) then you'll become homeless and die.

It doesn't teach you how to think for yourself, it teaches you to shut the fuck up and obey or be punished.

I'm sorry you had that experience with public school, genuinely- and I know you aren't the only one, and this is honestly something I feel really passionate about. Like, actually; a big motivator for getting my Master's in Ed- and likely my Ph.D in Ed after this- has been that it positions me to get involved in a way that I can make larger changes than most classroom teachers might be able to influence.

I'm also really glad that homeschool was a positive thing for you! And I don't believe in outlawing homeschool or anything either; I do think it needs more regulation and resources, and I think there needs to be a wider array of options overall, but like. Given how education has historically been weaponized against indigenous communities to carry out cultural genocide (in the form of boarding schools), I think any laws against homeschooling would just end up repeating that same history.

But like, you can't ignore that homeschool has absolutely been used as a tool of abuse, too. And you can't ignore that abusive families and home environments exist, and you can't just... refuse to acknowledge the push from the conservative right to de-regulate homeschooling & break down public ed in order to further empower them to isolate and brainwash kids.

Hell, you wanna talk about how kids are taught to stop thinking, stop talking, and follow orders? Take a little day trip to a fundamentalist homeschooling network sometime.

You talk about public ed like it's this homogeneously evil entity designed for, and only capable of, abusing kids. But you wanna know what?

My family is abusive! My upbringing was abusive!

And sure, there's a chance they may have been able to pay for private school or something if public school had not been an option- for a few years, anyway. But that's because my grandparents have money, and because my mom was just neglectful enough to want me out of her hair.

I went to three elementary schools, two middle schools, and four high schools. All of those were public schools. Some of them sucked more than others, but all of them offered me:

An escape from home that I needed so desperately that, for a long time, I extended by hiding out at the public library for an extra 3+ hours.

Reliable lunches, even when my mom wouldn't pay for them.

Adults that I could trust, and did trust.

Adult role models and examples of a better future, especially in the queer adults that taught me.

Social connections, one of which was with a current roommate and my best friend.

Directly applicable knowledge and skills: cooking, online research and internet safety, everything I know about safe sex, finances, how to do my taxes, basic governmental structure, local, national, and world history, basic court proceedings, how to navigate colleges/university, (some) critical literacy & critical thinking skills, social-emotional learning, (some) critical race theory...

An array of options for different paths into an adult career: understanding (some) options like trade schools, community college, university, and the military (gross), and why I might choose one of those options vs. going straight into work.

Examples of and exposure to different & diverse ways of being, from home lives, to cultures, to queerness, to experiences I would never have firsthand.

Like, I have definitely grown up in pretty progressive areas & school districts, and that's a big part of it (though the conservative-leaning school I went to was also the school where my creative writing teacher read us a short story that he wrote about some gay star-crossed truckers).

These schools exist, and these experiences exist, and it's silly to dismiss them out of hand because your one stint into public school once was a nightmare.

And it's worse to dismiss the resource that these places are to so many families & kids. It's free childcare, it's one sure meal every day, it's community, it's exposure to diversity.

The practical alternative to that, for a lot of poor families, is child labor.

You don't have to like public education. I certainly have mixed feelings on it, and understanding & addressing the deep-seated problems in it are, like, the cornerstone of my life's work at this point.

What you should do, imo, is learn to recognize when you might not have all the context and information you need to make a judgement call like "destroy public education forever", look around at the people saying what you're saying & why they might be saying it, and perhaps consider listening to the people who have already been doing the work you've assumed is impossible.

#education #I dont know what yall are trying to do here #this is my full-time WHOLE LIFE dude!#like I love talking about it but why are you approaching this like you know more than anyone else does?#lets talk like adults!!!

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