#bella’s fics

[grace-lightwoodd]

Lay my Curses All to Rest: Chapter 1

Read on ao3

Notes: Finished it just in time for the last day of gracetopher week! This isn’t canon compliant at all, and I have no idea how vampires work

—

When Christopher woke up after he died, he was thirsty. It was unlike any kind of thirst he had known in his life prior, and he knew he had to sate it as soon as possible.

He groaned as he pushed himself into an upright position and off the bed, nearly falling over when he did. The world spun under his feet and grayed at the edges, and he took a moment to steady himself against the bedside table, squeezing his eyes shut.

When he had recovered, Christopher stepped towards the door, crossing in front of the window as he did so. As soon as the first ray of sunshine hit his skin, he yelped in pain and slinked back into the shadows of the small room. He held up his hand to see the blisters that had blossomed on the portion of skin that had been exposed to the light.

What in the angel’s name had happened to him?

Well, logically, he could put the pieces together in his mind, but what he failed to figure out was how such a thing had happened. And, quite honestly, he didn’t know what to do now.

Normally, one in his position was to turn to another of his kind for help. But, since all the downworlders were frozen in place—all but him, notably— that course of action was impossible.

A silent brother could help him, Christopher thought, before he remembered that they were all in Idris, and surely he couldn’t go there anymore.

So he did the only thing he could do: he waited until nightfall, hoping nobody would see him lurking around in the institute, and as soon as the sun dipped behind the horizon, Christopher snuck out and rushed to the lab at his aunt Charlotte’s house.

He arrived in record time, and he was halfway down the cobblestone stairs when he heard a soft voice echo off of the walls, unmistakable to his keen ears.

“…and I only wish I could have told you—that I care about you, Christopher. And I did not think that kind of feeling to be real. I thought it was a conceit of novels and plays, that one could… could want the happiness of another beyond even their own, beyond anything else. I wish I had understood it more when you were… when you were still alive.”

It was the kind of thing that normally would have made his heart seize, and it made him acutely aware that his heart wasn’t beating at all. He wasn’t breathing, either. How had he not realized until now?

“So if you are here,” said Grace, breaking him from his thoughts, “please. I’m so close, with the fire-messages. I’ve gone beyond where you were, but I haven’t found the solution yet. I need your help. The world needs your help. Please.”

He rushed down the remaining stairs and closed the distance between them, lightly putting a hand on her shoulder. “Grace,” he said, wincing at how hoarse his voice was.

He heard her breath catch as she turned around, her eyes wide as she stared at him. “Christopher? How are you—“

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, offering her what he hoped to be a comforting grin. “You invented ever-burning Valium, Grace! Well done!”

She nodded, but her delicate features were twisted in some sort of unpleasant emotion that Christopher couldn’t quite place. She was staring at his mouth, he realized, and he became painstakingly aware of the sharp fangs that had protruded from his teeth.

He closed his mouth at once, but her gaze never faltered from him. “A vampire,” she muttered. “How curious.”

Christopher forced himself to turn away from her and towards the desk. “So. The fire messages.”

Grace cleared her throat, seemingly broken from her reverie. “Yes. Do you have any ideas?”

“Do you?”

“Well, you’re the scientist, aren’t you?”

“And you think that you aren’t?” He made a sweeping gesture in the direction of all of the scattered papers. “Look at what you’ve accomplished, Grace. You have gotten so much farther than I ever could. You only need to believe that you can solve it. And you can. You are a natural scientist, and a solver of puzzles. All you have to do is silence the voice in your head that says you aren’t good enough, that you don’t know enough.”

While he spoke, Grace had begun to rummage through the notes, carefully examining each page as if trying to find the missing piece of the puzzle in her hands. She stopped abruptly, turning to Christopher with a new light in her eyes. “It’s not the runes. It’s not the chemicals, either. It’s the steles.”

“It makes sense. As they are now, the steles themselves are unable to perform the task we need.”

“But if we added a communication rune, they could.”

Christopher grinned. “See? I knew you could do it.”

But his smile faded as a new wave of nausea crashed over him, his vision blurring as he struggled to maintain his balance. He reached out for something, anything, and Grace caught him, leading him to a chair.

“How long has it been since you woke up?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowed in something akin to concern.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Six hours, perhaps?”

“Have you had any… er…. sustenance?”

“No. I’m still trying to figure out what to do, in that department.” He didn’t tell her how desperately he needed something to ease the constant burning in his throat, how he had grown physically weaker with every passing minute that he denied himself, how his head felt as though it had been pumped full of helium.

She must have known, somehow, because she wordlessly offered him her wrist, giving him a slight nod. An invitation.

And as much as every part of his body wanted him to jump at the opportunity while he had the chance, he forced himself to take a step away from her, shaking his head. He wouldn’t let himself take advantage of her like that, he told himself, no matter how desperate he was. He wouldn’t hurt her.

“Grace, no, I couldn’t possibly—“

“Well, you’ll die if you don’t, and I won’t let that happen. Not after I just got you back.”

Christopher knew that he should have protested again, but he also knew that she was right. He was becoming weaker and more lightheaded by the moment, and here she was, offering him the cure to all of his ailments. Who was he to deny her?

“You can take as much as you need,” she said, and that was the only invitation Christopher needed.

As gently as he could, he took hold of her arm and lifted the pale skin of her forearm to his mouth, sinking his teeth into her flesh and drinking.

He faintly registered a light cry of pain as the relief washed over his body. He pushed himself away from her as soon as his nausea subsided, unwilling to take more than the absolute bare minimum. He averted his gave from her, unwilling to look her in the eye. “I’m sorry,” he said.

She shrugged, moving past him to grab a handkerchief. She pressed it to the new found to stop the bleeding “It’s fine. It barely even hurt. Vampire saliva acts as an anesthetic, remember?”

“I’m still drinking your blood. Which, might I add, is a whole issue in and of itself. I should be dead. Logistically speaking, I shouldn’t even be a vampire, and yet somehow, I am. I don’t understand it. I never went through a fledgling phase, I was never buried, but still, for all intents and purposes, I’ve become a vampire.”

“Maybe it was the poison that triggered the transformation.”

“But that wouldn’t have made me a fully-fledged vampire. It just doesn’t make sense.”

“It doesn’t need to. Not everything has an answer, you know.”

“That’s because no one has found one, yet.

“Then we’ll find one,” said Grace. “Look, I understand your curiosity, and your need to have all the answers, and it’s admirable, but right now, the sun is about to rise. You probably ought to go, so you’re not trapped here until sunset.”

“Well, I don’t exactly have anywhere to go.”

“What about the Hell Ruelle? At least until all the downworlders aren’t frozen anymore, you can stay there undetected.” She paused. “Wait, how aren’t you frozen? If you’re a vampire now—“

“I don’t know,” Christopher said. “I don’t— I don’t know much of anything, anymore.” He stopped, forcing a smile onto his face. “But, hey, at least we got the fire messages issue solved, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Have a good night, Grace. Or, er, a good morning.”

“You should come back tonight,” said Grace. “So that we can finish the fire-messages, I mean.”

Christopher smiled. “I’ll see you then.”

—

Taglist: @ohcoolnice @my-archerboy @livingformyself @the-enchanted-dreamer @nezhcs @sapphic-in @thomaslightwood @vashs-posts @obsessedwithbooksandmusic @thrxughthenxght

(Please reach out to me to be added or removed!)

[bellasbarginart]

tfw when a thousand and 26 people have looked at your silly little fanfic about puppets based off a pilot that’s now lost media

[talaok]

Will you kiss me?

Pairing: Pedro pascal x reader

Summary: You are a famous actress who Pedro has a crush on, and he finally gets to meet you once you get both invited to The Graham Norton Show

warnings: just fluff

a/n: I had to

"What a pair we have here tonight huh?"Graham spoke enthusiastically, making the audience explode in roaring cheers and applauses.

You just smiled as you tried looking at the crowd, getting overwhelmed by the blinding lights.

"Y/n Y/l/n and Pedro Pascal, just- wow"

Other applauses filled the studio.

"Ok so let's start with you y/n, you have a show coming out next week, two oscar nominated films already out, and one more coming out next month" he took a deep breath, feigning fatigue "You must be tired, I mean, How long has it been since you slept?" he joked, making you laugh.

"well I did work a lot this past year, but it was worth it, I'm happy I got to be part of so many wonderful projects and I'm really proud of all of them, I just can't wait for people to see them"

"well I'm sure we're all gonna love them"

"I hope so, I'm always nervous about it"

"Really?" The man beside you asked, surprise clear in his tone.

Pedro Pascal,

You had heard of him before, of the boom he seemed to have made lately, but had never met him until half an hour ago, when you briefly introduced yourselves to one another.

He looked nervous, awkward even, and you didn't know if it was because of the show he was about to get on, if he just was like that, or if there was something else bothering him.

"of course, when I go to premiers I'm always looking over at how people are reacting, if they're like bored or on their phones or actually interested, it's nervewracking, don't you?"

"well of course I do" he chuckled "but I'm no one compared to you"

He had a beautiful smile, you noticed, sweet, comforting.

"oh stop it" you smacked his shoulder playfully " you're a big deal, Pedro"

He just shook his head, still smiling softly, and Graham took the opportunity to intervene.

"of course you are, I mean, Game of Thrones, Narcos," he listed " and now the Mandalorian and The last of us, I mean you're really killing it"

The crowd cheered some more at the mention of those shows.

"thank you," he said shyly, looking like he almost wanted them to stop.

"so how does it feel?" he asked, "to be on such massive hits at the same time?"

"Well, it feels... scary" he laughed, joined by the audience

"you don't like being the center of attention?" Graham asked

"oh no I do" he corrected, making you laugh "It's just frightening at times, 

but I'm having a good time y'know, it's also comforting seeing everyone I've worked with kind of be in the same position as me" he shrugged.

"People you've worked with?"

"yes, you know like Bella Ramsey, they're also- well they're young so of course, they're new to this- but, y'know, we're not used to all this attention and it feels good to have someone by your side who understands what's going on"

"of course" graham nodded "that's true, Bella is really young" he noticed "that's a thing both your shows have in common, young people," he said, "how did that feel? working with the new generation, I'm not saying you're old, but did you ever feel left out?"

"oh, all time" Pedro laughed

"yeah me too" you agreed "there were times when I was really lost but too ashamed to ask " you laughed in embarrassment

"absolutely," Pedro said, " they have a language of their own"

"right?!" you exclaimed, happy someone finally understood you.

"yes, like, there's one term that I learned recently that's really wonderful- somebody was saying - you swerve - "

You frowned

"do you know what swerving is?"

"nope" 

"I was like oh- get somebody off your scent or something like that- I don't know - confuse somebody, and they were like: no, they come in for a kiss and you swerve" he demonstrated, pretending to be avoiding a kiss on the cheek.

"Isn't that great?"

you nodded, laughing, as an idea came to you

"We should try"

His eyes widened as he turned to you 

"c'mon swerve me"

"no, I cannot swerve you!"

"c'mon it's for science"

"I can't, I can't swerve y/n Y/l/n, that's like - a crime"

"oh stop it, just do it, I wanna try it c'mon," you said, flattered

"ok fine, but just because I can't say no to you" he surrendered

"ok" you cleared your throat, preparing yourself "Oh wow, hi Pedro" you pretended to greet him, going in for a kiss.

He just smiled, as he did, eventually avoid your kiss,

his beard grazed your cheek, and the proximity to him, sparked something inside you, something quick, but likewise persistent.

As you leaned away, you noticed with amusement the flush on his cheeks and had to bite down a smile.

He fanned himself exaggeratedly "I'm blushing," he mumbled, making you chuckle, as you rested a hand on his arm, trying to soothe him.

" So how does swerving feel?" Graham asked

"it's... interesting" you glanced at him.

"It makes me feel rude" he looked at you too now, "I would never do it, it feels- it's mean"

"oh we know you wouldn't" you reassured him.

"I didn't like it" he shook his head

You smiled, tilting your head "would it make you feel better if we did it again without the swerving?"

You noticed how he seemed to have a momentary shutdown.

"yes," he said bluntly

"oh my god yes"

You laughed softly, as his mouth gaped open.

"Will you kiss me?" he almost begged, which was funny considering you had proposed it.

"Alright then, come here" you gestured, and he leaned closer, letting you press a quick kiss to his cheek.

"there" you smiled

"I think I just died"

"oh stop it, you're flattering me," you said, noticing a trace of red on his face "whoops, sorry I left a lipstick print" you went to clean it 

"no no" he stopped you 

"please leave it, I want proof this actually happened"

[ohyoudosmellgood]

just met peter facinelli and asked him what he thought is most compelling about carlisle as a character:

„with carlisle there’s a feeling of calm, even when there‘s chaos.“

and that’s actually so true and poetic? calling all fanfiction authors to go and pick that line up.

[chappellroansdreamgirl]

officer!els<3

author's note - meow i love this woman.

content warnings - black!coded!reader ig????, fluff, els i love u ellie williams pls handcuff me to ur bed and police-brutalize me! , text msgs from reader that are very me-coded! , mostly just based off every grumpy but cool cop i've seen in media, lots of notes from me i'm going insane I NEED HER!!!!! , there's a white man in a pic i put... you have been warned, smut/suggestive shit at the end!

-------------------------------------------------------

- def wanted to be a cop when she was a kid and then was a total fucking juvenile as a teen. (duh!)

- always loved the police officers who barely ever gave troubled kids a hard time. (this is coming from a troubled kid. acab all the way except for u guys. well, still acab, but y'all r cool!) would refuse to talk to anyone except her favorites. i fully believe that's one of the reasons she would go into this workforce.

- when she got approved to start training to be a cop, u were home with her favorite strand of weed and she gave u a look like, "🤨🤨" , "can't be doing that no more baby, i'm gonna be a cop." , "...stfu and take the first hit before you piss me off..." , she's wearing a SHIT-eating grin before she takes it. (don't ask me how she passes her drug-tests!) (probably gets jesse to do it or someone idk maybe joel if she's lucky!) (def not joel...)

- ADDING ONTO THIS!^^ : every single time you smoke when she can't she'll look so sad or just side-eye tf out of you... "really?" , "what do you want me to do ellie..." u stopped smoking around her when she couldn't...

- this woman is so intimidating but once those cop dogs come on the scene she's so cute<3 . she's so smiley and happy they love her AND SHE LOVES THEM. she definitely sent u a picture of her with the group of the babies and was like, "can we adopt them all pls i love them ):" . you guys adopted a rescue pup shortly after...

- whenever you're doing ANYTHING EVER she flashes her badge at you and says something so loser of her , "don't make me handcuff you..." or makes finger guns with the sounds and GOD I LOVE THIS WOMAN.

- speaking of badges, she always has her badge on her. ALWAYS. it is EMBARRASSING!

- when she got her first arrest she was so happy:3 . i FEEL like she took a picture with the fucker and everything and she looked so proud of herself. "good job baby now pls get to the station before that mf breaks out of those handcuffs he looks like he's gonna murder u..."

- this is a headcannon of mine (and canon so why am i saying hc maybe it's just bcs it's more in-depth in my head.) but she loves kids and whenever she sees a younger person at the station, she makes sure that they're ok and have everything they need.

- with that being said, she HATES the teens who don't have a valid reason to be such delinquents. lovable delinquents are her soft-spot but those... THOSE ONES😧.

- definitely is a kitten-saver-cop. hates getting the call but she responds every time.

- sends u this pic anytime u say something mildly threatening to her in text msgs:

suggestive/NSFW!

-------------------------------------------------------

- the day she got her uniform, you wanted to jump her bones. she came back home, poor girl was so tired and all you could think about is how good she looked in that shit.

- like i said... the badge is with her at all times... maybe this is too feral but i feel like she put IT in ur mouth and took a polaroid of it after u were done eating her out or SSAAAWWWWMMMMTHHHIIIIING. (pls let me wear ur badge baby i'm on my knees BEGGING YOU!)

- definitely joked about role-playing jailer/jailed and then it wasn't a joke anymore. y'all tried it once and couldn't stop laughing.

- has definitely used her handcuffs on u or vice versa. she gets so excited when u pull that shit out.

- ggggg...g-g-gu-....gggggggggguuuunnn ki-

- definitely has fucked u in the uniform. u two probs have had a quickie in the station bathroom on multiple occasions.

bonus round - police!els edit<3 :

[iveleftitwithyou]

casual | paul lahote x reader smut

NSFW | 18+ | minors DNI | word count: 2.38k

warnings: smut, dom!paul, slight angst, mention of fighting, i think that's it?

------

i asked you guys if i should post this now or incorporate it into ruderal, and the result was overwhelmingly to post it now, so here it is with some plot adjustments! i've been OBSESSED with this song by chappell roan and knew i needed to make it into an imagine, although this song is probably about a woman lol. highly recommend listening to the song as you read this. this is my first time EVER writing smut so i hope its not too bad - as always, let me know what you think :)

ALSO this is in an alternate timeline where the guys are all like 21+ and so is y/n :)

------

Paul’s hand lingered on your thigh as he drove the winding road back to Forks, his thumb rubbing small circles on your outer leg. the radio hummed with a song you couldn’t manage to pay attention to, instead focusing your gaze on the motion of his finger on your bare thigh. while you assumed the gesture was meant to comfort you, it did a lot more than that. you hoped that the darkness would obscure Paul’s peripheral vision enough for him to not realize you were ogling his muscular arms and unusually large hands. his veins protruded in a way that drove you crazy for some reason, and as much as you were still upset with him, you couldn’t help the rush of hormones that flooded at the sight.

Embry had made some stupid joke about you at the bonfire at Emily's that night, a common occurrence when you hung out with the pack. he didn’t mean anything by it, you joked around with each other like that all the time, but Paul had been extra sensitive for the last few weeks as he spent more hours on patrol. Victoria’s looming presence and the mystery murders happening around Washington meant the reservation needed increased protection, and the men in the pack had to step up. Embry’s comment led to a fight where the pair both phased, snarling and snapping until they both came to their senses and things went back to normal. you hated when Paul shifted because of you, even if it was just indirectly your fault like it was tonight. 

you two were meant to be casual, despite Paul having imprinted on you, as you had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and weren’t ready to commit to someone again. you’d been seeing each other casually for months, hanging out, and getting to know each other better. as much as you were hesitant to let him into your life completely, you couldn’t deny your attraction to Paul. he’d been nothing but a gentleman thus far, bringing you flowers on dates, opening doors for you, and following your boundaries to a T, terrified to mess anything up with you. of course, his physical form was unlike anything you’d ever seen - you were lucky that he preferred to hang out without a shirt on. things had gotten hot and heavy between you two a few times but hadn’t gone farther than some very intense making out. though, the way Paul’s hand touched you now was enough for you to throw those boundaries out the window; you wanted him - no, needed him.

you focused your eyes back on the road in front of you, only being able to see as far as the truck’s dim headlights illuminated. breathe in, breathe out, you reminded yourself, trying to calm down the butterflies in your stomach. you were unsuccessful, and it didn’t help that Paul’s hand was inching closer and closer to your hips.

suddenly, his hand snaked further inward and his grip tightened, engulfing your inner thigh. your breath hitched, and you unsuccessfully tried to mask it as a cough. you saw Paul smirk out of the corner of your eye, but he didn’t look over at you. 

you once again reminded yourself to breathe as the ache between your legs became more apparent. his hand loosened its grip and continued its journey towards your core. half of you thought about stopping him purely as punishment for fighting with Embry, but the much louder other half wouldn’t dream of it right now.

you couldn’t help but let out a small groan as his hand finally reached your jean shorts, his fingers tracing the seam that ran between your legs. the slight pressure he applied drove you absolutely crazy as you wished for more friction.

the sound that escaped your lips seemed to do something to Paul as he let out a breathy groan of his own. “alright, that’s it,” he mumbled, turning the wheel toward the side of the road. he must have known exactly where you were because he easily pulled the truck behind a set of bushes that obscured most of it from the road. any passerbys, which were few and far between at this time of night anyway, wouldn’t notice the vehicle.

almost as soon as he slammed the gear shift into park, his lips were on yours. he kissed you with a passion you’d never felt before. you melted into his lips, reminding yourself for the third time that night that if you didn’t start breathing, you would pass out. he gripped the back of your head, tangling his fingers in your hair as you continued to make out. his other hand traveled down your arm, to your hip, and unbuckled the seatbelt you’d been wearing. in one swift, but slightly awkward motion, he disconnected your lips for a brief moment and grabbed each side of your hips, pulling you across the center console onto his lap. you were careful not to lean too far and hit the horn with your back as you settled onto him, silently thanking Paul for owning such a spacious truck. your knees settled on either side of his legs. 

as you sat down on his lap, you brushed his hardening length with the same seam of your shorts his hand was just on, eliciting a quiet moan from both of you. impatient, Paul once again gripped your scalp and slammed your lips together. you allowed your hands to slip underneath the hem of his shirt, feeling the outline of the muscles on his bare abdomen. this feeling, combined with the warmth radiating from his bare skin, drove you insane. 

“take- it- off-” you mumbled in between kisses, tugging the hem upwards. you were unsure of where the forwardness came from, but you didn’t stop long enough to be embarrassed. 

“you don’t get to tell me what to do,” he snarked half-jokingly but obliged.

the moonlight streaming in from the windshield was just enough for you to be able to see the outline of his pecs and abs, and you really couldn’t help but stare.

“like what you see?” he chuckled, noticing your eyes widening at his physique.

you nodded, unable to form words, instead opting to smash your lips back together with all of the strength you could muster. you’d had enough of looking flustered - you wanted to take initiative.

you raised your hips again, pushing your abdomen against Paul's and lowering yourself onto his member. you rocked your hips back and forth as he moved his lips down your cheek, then your jaw, and eventually to your neck. the friction as you continued to grind against him elicited a low growl against your neck as his lips attached to your skin. you moaned embarrassingly loudly as he sucked at the delicate skin, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to be sheepish. in fact, the only emotion surging through your body right now was pure desire for the god-like man leaving a series of hickeys on your neck.

“Paul, that’s gonna leave a mark,” you whined. you knew you’d regret letting him do it in the morning but right now you wanted nothing more than for him to mark you as his. you wanted to be his.

“don’t want anyone else getting any ideas. you’re all mine,” he retorted, lifting his head up to look you in the eyes. his were almost completely black with lust. “say it.” he commanded, holding your jaw tightly in his hand. “say you’re mine.”

“i’m all yours, Paul” you panted, your hips continuing to move back and forth on Paul’s lap as you stared into his dark eyes. despite your relationship still being undefined, truer words had never been spoken.

“good girl. now shut the fuck up and get back in the passenger seat.” his harsh words did nothing to discourage you from obeying as you scrambled to sit back where you were a few minutes prior. this was a side of Paul you had only seen when he was angry: dark, commanding, dominating. usually, you would have to try to calm him down when he got like this, but right now, you were very much enjoying him telling you what to do. you already missed the warmth of his body on yours as you climbed back over to the other seat, but you instinctually knew better than to voice your complaints right now.

Paul leaned across the console, reaching his hand between your knees and under the seat to move it back as far as it would go. once he was satisfied with that, he reached across your lap and pulled the reclining handle, his other hand helping to lower the seat back slowly so you weren’t sent flying backward.

“scooch back” he ordered again, and you moved your hips backward on the seat, supporting yourself with your elbows on the very edge of the seat near the headrest.

you were confused as he opened the driver-side door and hopped out of the truck. you watched as he opened the passenger-side door, it becoming clear now what his plan was. you pulled your knees towards your chest as he climbed back in, kneeling on the floor mat in front of you. god damn, this truck was spacious, and you were incredibly grateful for that right now.

his large hands fumbled to unbutton your shorts. he pulled the zipper down and you lifted your hips, followed by your legs, so he could slide them off. not wanting to wait another second, he pulled your underwear to the side and connected his thumb to your clit. you let out a loud gasp at the sensation and he chuckled proudly, knowing how good he was making you feel. Paul rubbed small, tight circles on the sensitive nub for a few seconds before you felt a finger dip into your wet folds. a guttural moan escaped your throat as you finally got the sensation you had been waiting for since his hand had rested on your thigh earlier in the night.

he added a second finger shortly after and continued to pump in and out of your heat, his thumb continuing its circular motions on your clit. you could feel your orgasm building inside of your core, and it was almost euphoric knowing it was Paul making you feel like this.

“Paul, i’m gonna-” you moaned, getting close to the edge. “what the fuck?” he’d removed his fingers altogether upon hearing this and you were not happy about it. 

“patience, princess.” he chuckled, making eye contact with you once again as he raised his fingers to his mouth to taste you on them. you were still pissed at him for teasing you like that, but the sound he made as he licked your wetness off himself almost made it worth it. almost.

“let’s take these off, shall we? or should i rip them off?” his fingers slipped under the waistband of your underwear.

“don’t you dare,” the one rational brain cell you had left replied, lifting your hips for him to slide them off like he did the shorts. you liked this pair. Paul held your hips back down as he spread your legs open, leaning his torso over the seat until you could feel his breath between your legs, amplified by the wetness that had come with the teasing.

“god, you look so fucking good” he took a second to admire the sight before him before he groaned lustfully and connected his tongue to your cunt. he made quick work of finding all the right spots to hit, causing your legs to tremble and your eyes to roll back in your head. at this rate, you wouldn’t last long, but you never wanted this moment to end.

“oh, fuck,” you moaned as he continued to circle the sensitive nub with his tongue. you had never felt this connected to someone before, not any of your exes. no one had ever made you feel as good as Paul was in this moment. as he continued the motions of his tongue, you realized Paul was perfect for you in every way, including this one. it was like pre-nut clarity.

you felt the pressure building up again, somehow even stronger than last time, unable to contain your moans. “fuck, Paul, i’m gonna cum” you groaned, arching your back against the seat as Paul continued to hold your hips down harshly against it. you figured there would be bruises there tomorrow, and the thought of him marking you up even more only exacerbated your growing orgasm.

“cum for me, princess” Paul mumbled against your clit, giving you permission to let go. it only took a couple more swipes for you to come completely unglued against his mouth.

Paul gradually slowed down his motions, guiding you through your orgasm as your hips attempted to buck against his face, craving the stimulation. eventually, your brain started to function again, and the first thing you thought was that that was definitely the best orgasm you’d ever had. you couldn’t tell Paul that, though - it would boost his ego way too much, and he already had a huge one to begin with. the second thought that went through your head was that you were ready for Paul to be your boyfriend. no man could eat you out that good and get away from you.

he admired his work as you panted in front of him, a smirk of pride on his face. he loved knowing he was the one who made you feel so good. he raised himself up on his knees to hover over you, one arm resting on the seat to support himself as the other snaked behind your back to pull you to his chest. you wrapped your arms around his back, settling your face in the crook of his neck. your breaths were soon in time with each other, basking in the body heat radiating from the both of you.

you could have stayed like that forever, but after a few minutes, Paul pulled back slightly to look you in the eyes. he seemed deep in thought before he smiled and opened his mouth to ask you a simple question: “is it casual now?”

------

part 2 here :)

[omaano]

“How’d you get stuck with babysitting duty anyway?” Boba asked one day during dinner. “Oh, I volunteered for this,” Fox told him. “Why the kark would you do that?” “Language,” Fox admonished. “Well, I was just living my normal boring life and I thought to myself, ‘I don’t get called an ugly piece of banthashit often enough.’ So I decided to adopt you.” Boba snorted. “You’re a psychopath,” he told Fox. “I’ve been called worse,” Fox replied breezily. Boba doesn’t find a new family and Fox doesn’t become anybody’s dad; an adoption story.

@bilbosmom-belladonna commissioned me to illustrate a scene from her delightful fic Trying to Escape What You Can't Let Go. She was amazing to work with and you should absolutely check out her fun little found family story!

[shycloudkitty]

You're too sweet for a monster like me

Summary : Leon's drowning his pain and suffering with whiskey. But you might be his true salvation.

Pairing : Vendetta Leon! × Fem Reader (A little bit of pre vendetta)

Tags : Established relationship, self deprecating talk (Leon does with himself), mostly angst with little comfort. (But it's there) and alcoholism

A/N: Update on why I disappeared for a while. It's because things got rocky with my academics and I recently broke up :( But not to worry I'm not gonna let a little heartbreak set me back.

And for this fic I'm thinking it to be a little pre vendetta Leon, like the incidents that led to him having depression in Vendetta.

It's gonna a be short fic, may or may not write a part 2 about this. Let me know!

WC: 1.6K

Sound of whiskey getting poured in a glass fills the emptiness of the living room he was in. After all this was all he could do, the only thing he had control in his poor pathetic life.

One mission after another after another. Leon was getting tired after endless fights with the B.O.Ws, corrupt governments in countless countries that were ‘speculated’ to have a new damned virus or a bioweapon war waiting to happen.

And every damn time he was supposed to deal with it, he was supposed to do the government’s dirty work for them, he was supposed to fight every goddamned ugly creature created by the worst of mankind, he had to carry out every gut wrenching decision that government instructed him to do, everytime he was the last man standing and he was never gonna get out of this cycle.

Yes, that's right. He was just a little puppet for the government that was supposed to fight B.O.Ws for them. Someone who was blackmailed into this life and do their bidding, by of course the government.

At first, he tried to take it positively and thought of how many people he could save like he always wanted to and at such a large scale. Something he was extremely passionate about since he was a kid… saving people's lives, protecting them. That's why he wanted to be a cop and now that he was a government ‘special’ agent he would be able to do more.

But he definitely didn't expect the destruction those missions would cause on his own self too, taking every piece of his humanity, every last hope he seemed to have, gone & extinguished in the flames of every bioweapon war he was called in. He definitely didn't expect and could never have anticipated what he was getting thrown into.

When will this cycle end?

A question he thought every second of his life but never had the answer. Forced to play hero each time and with no real win, fighting was like choosing between the lesser than the two evils.

He was just a weapon, just a pawn that the government moved each time when they wanted to achieve something. And why would a pawn's life matter in the grand scheme of things? A pawn was created just to be shot down. And that's what he was.

While he was lost in thoughts and his whiskey all alone. He almost missed the soft voice whispering his name, such a gentle voice calling out to him. Feeling a soft hand on his back, trying to get his attention. He turned back to see who it was… and there was the reason. You.

Soft eyes looking at him with a sympathetic smile asking him how he was or that he had eaten anything today?

Leon slowly shook his head to get out of the fog clouding his brain and blinked a few times to focus on you.

Leon's words slurred as he spoke “What?”

“I asked how are you doing today?” Your soft words of concern clearing his brain fog better, making him aware of his surroundings and himself.

Leon blinks once more and looks down at his whiskey and then back at you. “... Better than yesterday.” A lie, he was the same as yesterday.

He could see her lips twitch in a small smile as she sat down besides him on the couch and said. “You're a terrible liar when drunk…”

Leon managed a soft huff at her reply. It almost weirded him out that you could see through him, but he guessed that's what happens when you have someone who cares for you. Leon looked away, sighing deeply and replied. “I'm just tired…”

Leon heard a soft sigh, feeling the soft couch dip a bit as she shifted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder and gently held his hand. “Leon… I'm always here for you, you know that right? I may not be able to give solid advice to you, but I'm a good listener.”

You could feel him relax under your touch a bit and saw him look your way from the corner of his way, still not facing you. “...I know.”

“So, you know I'm also worried about you?”

Leon winces at that, the last thing he wanted was you to worry about his pathetic self. You already have done so much for him just staying by his side through all this. Hell, you were an angel just for putting up with him and actually loving him. You weren't supposed to be worried about him and you definitely weren't supposed to fall in love with him.

Leon clears his throat and shifts a little bit away from you although he didn't let go of your hand and says. “I…It's nothing.”

You couldn't help but frown at how closed off he was being for the last few days, you understand that his last mission was rough although he never went into details about his missions with you. And you knew he needed space to process all of it but you hated the way he was ‘processing’ his loss. Drinking, lost in thoughts and closing off when you tried to get close. It was hard for both of you.

You slowly shifted towards him again, getting close to him once again. Gently taking the whiskey glass from his hands and moving it away from him. “Leon…”

He looks back at you and he looks…lost. A raging storm of emotions present in those pretty blue eyes of his that you loved so much. “I know it's hard Leon and I'm happy to give you space to think but the way you're doing it… is making me worried.”

You took a deep breath and continued. “Is there anything I can do to help? I can't… see you like this.”

He closes his eyes and deeply sighs once more, years of weariness and defeat visible on his face. He shakes his head and whispers. “You're not supposed to worry about me…”

Leon feels soft hands cup his face gently as she replies. “Can't help it. It sorta happens when you care.”

Leon opens his eyes to see you staring at him with a soft warm smile, your faces close. He presses his forehead against yours for a while trying to calm his anxious thoughts. He then pulls you closer by your waist, pulling you in a hug and burying his face in your neck and taking a deep breath. Your scent filling his senses and offering some peace that he needed to ground himself.

He often wondered what he did to deserve you? Did God or whatever the power universe has, take pity on him and decide to gift him an angel? You were always so sweet, so gentle with him, loving, caring, understanding. You were his sunshine and he couldn't look away. All he could do was soak up in the warmth that you always seemed to radiate everywhere you stepped.

You were perfect and it scared the hell out of him.

He was scared that one day you will see the monster he actually was. That one day you will wake up and see him for who he was, the things he had to do to make a living and think what a disgusting monster he was, what he truly was… not some ‘Hero’ or the ‘Golden boy’, just some monster and a weapon crafted to perfection to destroy the undead. And he hopes that day never comes.

He continues to hug you tightly to himself, his face buried in your neck as he takes deep breaths to calm himself. He then softly whispered. “You smell…like daffodils.”

The sudden comment made you chuckle a bit and kissed his cheek, hugging him tightly. “Yeah, I bought a new perfume today, didn't think you would notice. Does it smell bad?”

“... No, it smells good. It suits you.” And sighed deeply. He then whispered. “You're too sweet for me. Don't know what you see in me.”

You turned to face him and kissed his cheek. “don't say that… I see that you're a hard working, resilient person who keeps going even when the odds are stacked up against him. Whatever it is that you're going through… you can pass through it.”

He turned his head to face you, his expression softening into something more vulnerable as you say that. Clearly touched by your words. Feeling a lump rise in his throat as he closes his eyes once more and exhales shakily.

You were so…innocent. You had no idea what was going on in his head or what actually he turned into. You also had no idea about the vicious but repetitive cycle he was in.

Opening up about this life of his…would ruin such a sweet and innocent thing like you, he was sure of that. He knew you weren't a kid or anything or that you never faced hardships in your life. But this…he can't tell you about what he faces out there, what kind of ugliness his line of work shows him everyday, the dark side of humanity.

He can't taint the only ray of sunshine he ever found in his life.

You look up at him with that sweet dazzling smile, thinking he was someone ‘great’. But reality couldn't be farther from the truth.

Hello everyone! Long time no see, I'm sorry for my disappearance. I promise I will try to be regular now, I know this was short I will probably try to make a part 2? Idk but this was mostly written for my creativity to start flowing again. If you liked it please like it and reblog. I would be very grateful 😊

Fun fact: Daffodils are a sign of hope!

Thank you for reading this, hope you have a good day!

-Bella

[ecstarry]

@jegulus-microfic / football / 768 words / @bellaxisworld i love you

--- here's a little kiss cam brainrot <3

"But I hate football, you know this," Regulus reiterated to a very persistent Remus over the phone.

“I know, but Sirius can’t make it and he doesn’t want the tickets to go to waste. It’s just one game,” Remus remarked with a hint of something that Regulus couldn’t quite place. 

That’s how he ended up at a Saturday sports match, hoping the players were hot; at least he would be entertained that way. He approached his seats and yelled Remus’ name, but someone else turned around: James.

“Reg? Why are you here? I thought I was meeting Siriu-” Regulus interrupted him, only a Potter could manage to insult him as he was greeting him.

“Nice to see you too James, well I thought I was meeting Remus. So you were also not who I expected to see.”

Before James could give a proper response, they both got a notification on their phone. Regulus looked at his screen to read Remus' quick text: Sorry, can’t make it. Have fun.

“I’m going to kill him,” Regulus mumbled. 

“Sirius just canceled on me. I’m guessing you got stood up too?” James asked kindly, but only received a mean glance in response.

In silence, they took their seats. Regulus was beyond pissed. How could Remus do this to him? He thought for a second that they might’ve been set up, but he thought this ruse was a bit dramatic even for Sirius’ standards.

“Do you like football?” James asked, breaking the silence.

“Detest it,” Regulus replied tersely, still too upset to entertain James’ attempt at conversation. When his brother’s best friend asked if he wanted anything to drink, he simply declined in a polite and quick manner.

But when James returned with his favorite treats and a wide smile to his seat, he couldn’t remember what he was upset about. Regulus felt a discreet blush work its way towards his cheeks as James handed him his favorite candy.

“Sirius mentioned you liked this, so I figured that if you were stuck with me and in a place you don’t want to be, you might as well get a sweet treat, no?” James said casually, as if remembering someone’s favorite candy was nothing.

To Regulus, it was such a significant gesture, but he couldn’t help but feel a little pathetic by how such a simple token could make him feel so warm. If he was honest, maybe it had more to do with who was giving him that attention than the piece of candy itself, but that was not the time to process that.

The game continued, and to Regulus's surprise, he found himself having more fun than he had expected. While Remus would have been good company, James was captivating in his own way. Despite not being a fan of football, Regulus made an effort to stay informed about the current games. A fact that he deliberately kept from James as the other man’s eyes lit up explaining everything. He never expected to be so absorbed in James’ words or thoughts or lips or eyes or arms or smile...

 Oh god, when did James Potter become so attractive?

“Regulus?” His name coming out James’ lips took him out his trace.

“Yes?”

"Kiss cam," James said, pointing at the screen in front of them. There they were, the two of them, with a crowd surrounding them, chanting for them to just kiss. Regulus felt as if seconds extended into hours as James's hand gently cupped his chin, his eyes silently asking for permission. An inaudible yes left Regulus's lips as the distance between them evaporated.

His hand instinctively reached for James' shirt, pulling him closer as if their lips touching was still too far a distance to bridge. He allowed himself this moment, the touch of an angel on a broken man. Every crevice of doubt within him was filled with warmth as James kept asking for more with his tongue. James parted slightly, and the absence of his lips made Regulus remember himself. Embarrassed, he started to pull away, but James held him tightly, his hands not leaving Regulus' face.

Regulus bravely opened his eyes to face the regret that was sure to be all over James’ face, but instead he found something else— something sweet and soft, something only honey eyes like James’ could convey. He was still light-headed from James’ touch, he couldn’t make sense of just how long he had been given access to heaven. 

But the reality remained: he had just kissed James Potter, who seemed just as delighted to have kissed Regulus Black.

Maybe football wasn’t that bad.

more microfics here

[grace-lightwoodd]

Plans

—

When Christopher saw Grace, he knew that tonight was the night. He saw her, grinning as she took his offered hand, and suddenly the ring box felt heavier in his coat pocket.

He’d been carrying it around for weeks now. waiting for a special occasion, the perfect moment, something that would make her say ‘yes’ without any hesitation, but the longer he waited, the more he began to doubt that such a moment would come.

He needed to do it, and he needed to do it tonight.

Even as they arrived at Matthew’s crowded flat, even as Christopher was separated from his girlfriend and thrown around by the mosh pit that had formed in the living room, even as he tried to keep himself from getting lost in the throng of people, his mind was focused on formulating a plan to propose to Grace. He stepped away from the crowd and reached for the ring box in his pocket, just for his hand to close around nothing. He swore under his breath, searching pocket after pocket, only to turn up empty-handed once again.

He saw James dancing on the outskirts of the crowd and rushed over. “James,” he hissed, clapping his friend on the shoulder to get his attention. “Jamie, I need your help.”

James stopped dancing, whirling around to pull Christopher away from the crowd, his eyebrows knit together in a mixture of worry and confusion. “What’s the matter? What’s happened?”

“Well, I was going to propose to Grace, but it seems I’ve lost the ring.”

“You’re going to propose to Grace?” Matthew repeated from somewhere behind Christopher, practically yelling at the top of his lungs.

A wave of excited murmurs washed over the crowd, and before he knew it, he was swept into a sea of drunken people wishing him luck and congratulations, each talking louder than the last.

He tried to maintain his composure as he searched the mass of people for a familiar face, but Grace was nowhere to be seen. Just as he was about to give up, Christopher’s eyes were drawn past the crowd, out onto the small balcony, where Grace leaned over the railing, her hair flying in the wind. He was quick to push past the reforming mosh pit and step outside, welcomed by the cool breeze as he joined her at her side. “Is everything okay?” He asked softly.

Grace nodded, turning towards him and holding up a familiar ring box. “I, uh, I found this on the floor. And I know I should be finding who it belongs to, but it just— it got me thinking. What if— and don’t feel obligated to say yes, I know we’re still figuring things out— but what if we got married?”

Despite himself, he burst into laughter. He laughed, and laughed, and eventually, Grace started laughing, too, seemingly haven realized the irony of the situation.

When he had gathered himself, he extended his hand out toward her. “Can I have it back a moment?”

She handed it back to him, watching with wide eyes as he went down on one knee. “This did not go as planned,” he admitted softly. “Well, I didn’t even really have a plan, but in my mind, it was a whole lot more romantic than this.”

“I think it’s fitting,” Grace said, a wide smile gracing her lips. “We’ve never been the type for things to go according to plan.”

He laughed lightly and cleared his throat, lifting the ring box between them as he opened it. “Grace Cartwright, will you—“

“Yes!”

He barely even had time to stand up before Grace had flung her arms around him.

“Couldn’t even let me finish,” he mumbled, resting his chin on her shoulder as he returned her embrace.

“Can you blame me for being excited?”

He grinned, pulling away to slide the ring onto her finger. “I most certainly cannot.”

—

Taglist: @ohcoolnice @life-through-the-eyes-of @all-for-the-fanfiction @my-archerboy @livvyheronstairs @livingformyself @the-enchanted-dreamer @taylorjamie @nezhcs @sapphic-in @lovelessaffairs @cordelia-in-the-right-skin-tone @thomaslightwood @vashs-posts

(Please reach out to me if you want to be added, removed, or recently changed your url!!)

[bellasbarginart]

hi

*posts this and runs off*

[snowsinterlude]

doll parts.

(coriolanus snow x bella baxter!reader)

summary: having been brought back to live recently, you seemed to have lost your memories and still had a lot to re-learn. with that being said, you were personally intrigued by whatever 'fucking' is. luckily, coriolanus knew exactly how to teach you.

based on this ask.

c.w: horror (based in frankenstein and poor things), smut, coriolanus snow, nymphomaniac behavior (on the part of reader), spitting, p in v, porn with plot, rough sex, slapping (m. recieving), overstimulation, angry sex, squirting, edging, creampie, unproctected sex, innocent reader, naïve behavior, dumbification. casca highbottom is mentioned but he's not the main focus, 'virginity' loss, there's gonna be a lot of 'of course's" here

with the shocks of the electricity running through your new brain, you had opened your eyes to the sight of casca highbottom, a scientist who wanted to prove the point that he could bring people back to life.

of course, playing god wasn't exactly allowed, but what does corruption doesn't do?

with a white curly lock in your lustrous hair being something new to your forgotten appearance, you stared at the man in front of you, whom claimed to be your father. and of course he wasn't. he wanted to prove a point; this point being that he could create the perfect woman and shape her into the submissive obedient element you were supposed to become.

you didn't like that idea, and on the first minute he looked somewhere other than you when he brought you to see the outside world, you ran away, wanting to learn whatever you had to learn without the chains that casca highbottom had you in.

it didn't took long for you to come across coriolanus snow, a renowed academy student who was always against highbottom's experiments in dead people and animals. and he was so gentle to you, probably because of your doe heterochromatic eyes (another result of highbottom's tests on your previously dead body), or probably because of your innocent smile and the way your experience with the dead of living beings was killing mosquitoes and butterflies, saying that "there is no meaning for me to let this thing live if it annoys me."

of course, he took that out of your head with the argument that "then, if i, someday end up annoying you, would you kill me?" and you seemed to thought for a long while (that was his concern and the moment he gulped down), shaking your head, but saying "if you gave me anything other than kisses and books and shelter, i would." and he laughed at the way you said that, your eyes almost jumping out of your skull, always so sickeningly wide. you were so naïve, he truly wanted to open your kull, unspool your brain and sifting through it, trying to catch and pin down whatever it was that passed through your head.

he would never do it, though. not when you looked so pretty when swallowing his spit on that same night, licking your lips after a kiss.

then, in the day before, sitting on the couch on his studies, you looked at the page of the book you were leavmfing through, you saw an image of a woman and a man's silhouette. taking advantage of the few things highbottom teached you, you read outloud:

"mis...sio...neh...ry" of course, you still had a lot of difficulty reading, but nothing that could cause harm, coriolanus still tried his best to teach you how to read. he was always so... kind. you wanted to eat him up. but pretty things sometimes are accessories that can't go into your stomach, and that's what coriolanus told you when you tried eating a ladybug, claiming she was too cute for you not to eat it. "coryo,"

"yes, doll?" he asked, reading the papers he had on his hands.

"what is missionary sex?" that caught him off guard.

so now, after explaining how it worked and why it existed, the platinum blonde man finished by saying it could bring pleasure to your body, but it was mainly used for reproduction purposes.

you didn't really care about that last part, the second you heard him talking about 'pleasure', you immediatly got up, almost abruptly walking to him, your bare feet stepping on whatever it had on the ground, the skirt of your dress, that he got used to seeing you without, the shows you were supposed to wear to an early party that you never put on, his jacket, some papers, and finally, you were in front of him.

"i wanna do it," you voiced, taking the papers out of his hand "i wanna do it with you." and "i wanna have missionary with you." you said, eyes wide open to stare at him, you almost never blinkedat all.

"it's sex, doll. missionary is just a position." he said, laughing. though the thought of you riding him made his dick throb.

"position?" you asked, cocking your head to the side. "then there's more?" he nodded to you.

"there are much more positions on the kamasutra than pages on the bible." he said, and you smiled happily, your teeth showing up as well as your voice echoed:

"show me." you said "sex me- fuck, is fucking, right? fuck me. in the positions of the kamasutra." you said.

and god, he was so happy to take you by the waist, kiss you and lead your leg to wrap around his waist.

it didn't took many minutes for you to be without your bloomers, your panties put aside for him to grind his cock on your cunt, teasing you, and you didn't knew, but you felt like you were soaked up in something sticky- your wetness. "t-that's not missionary," you moaned, bucking your hips back at his teasing moves.

"you're right," he answered, groaning as he kissed your frowning face. "that's the clasp position, doll." with his hands on your waist, and yours on his shoulders, he finally penetrated you, earning a long moan out of your mouth.

you weren't a virgin, though you didn't know that, you used to have a husband on your previous life before you died, but you were never satisfied and you have never been- not until he slowly thrusted inside your pussy, making you feel every inch of his dick inside you.

"fuck!" you cried, a cry without tears as you undid the buttons of his shirt.

"what is it?" he asked, a moan leaving his throat as you ripped the shirt and bite his neck, too impatient to unbutton all of the buttons that were prohibiting you from seeing his body.

"i wanna see you," you moaned, slowly bucking your hips back, mouth agape as you let a rude moan leave your head "i wanna see your body."

he chuckled at your words, his hands still holding your body to keep you still as he fucked you. however, it wasn't bad, but you wanted to see how it would feel if it was fast.

"f-faster, please. just wanna see- s-see how it feels." you pleaded, your eyesight blurry as you looked down, seeing how your bare pussy took him in so well, almost devouring him into you.

he promptly obeyed you, going faster and deeper, a moan leaving your throat as his skin slapped against yours. and to see you squirming under him felt like heaven- a sight that no one but him could capture.

even when your walls squeezed his cock and you came around him, your pussy gushing around him, your stamina was still higher than his, which led to you edging him, not letting him cum until you felt so tired that you'd be passed out by his side.

which didn't happen for a long time. for at least six rounds, you were still edging him, slapping him every time he was ready to cum. you didn't allow it.

and by now, you were riding him non-stop, your eyes shut closed as you yourself abused your cunt on his cock, who throbbed painfully and made him throw his head back when he finally cummed inside you, stuffing you rope after rope.

"hey!" you called out slapping his chest, as he still gripped his nails on your skin, marking small crescent moon phases on your skin. he looked at you with an angry frown. "i don't wanna stop just now! i want more!" you said, not caring about his growling state, you thought it looked cute on him.

"god, you're terrible." he grunted, changing positions. "just this one more time and it's over." you nodded, agreeing with him as he finally slapped your clit, making you mewl and squirm under him. "see? you're too sensible, if we keep going," he thrusted "you're gonna have a difficult time walking straight."

"i can always dance." you said, legs spread to let him pound into you. he chuckled, slapping your thigh.

"let's see." he kissed you with a slight open mouth, his tongue battling with yours as he thrusted into you, letting you be a pillow princess for once in the day as you scarred his back with your nails, his pace was quicker than before, probably quicker than yours, and it made you melt entirely, your breathing became heavy and rapid.

when he pinched your clit, you felt strangely dumber, moaning into the kiss that was soon broke apart.

he spit into your mouth, his eyes boring into yours. "swallow it." and you did, crying from the pleasure as he rubbed your clit. "good girl, doll." he smiled.

"d-don't stop, coryo, please. just a bit more and i'll cum- i-i promise i'll let you rest after!" you mewled, squirming as he pound into you.

"hm, i don't know, doll. when i said i wanted to cum you didn't really allowed me to. why should i allow you?" he asked, pecking your temple.

"please. please! i can't hold it in!" you said, your boobs bouncing into the corset you were still wearing. he got rid of it in the blink of an eye, and you didn't even noticed where it had gone, too focused on the pleasure in between your legs as you cried.

he smiled to the view of your body. of course there was a bunch of scars there and there that were already healed, specially the one that connected your neck, but it didn't really mattered to his dick, neither to him. he loved just how doe eyed you were, how dumbly you asked about things and how you didn't questioned him more than once about something, like now.

"i-i'm sorry, i-i just wanted more. i didn't thought about your pleasure- s-sorry, please, let me cum! pleease!!"

"hm. no" he said, grabbing your ass and kissing your temple oh so kindly as he fucked you raw. "let's see how long you will last since you were so hungry for it."

and you didn't last much, just likenhe thought. the more you concentreated on the feeling of his dick on your cunt and the way his balls slapped against your ass, the closer you were to cumming again, and you did just after he came inside you again, smiling dumbly at him as you squirt on his cock, too sensitive from your previous orgasms.

"i'm sorry, coryo" you said, still teary eyed as you hugged him, hand pawing at his chest.

"for?" he frowned, he had already pulled his trousers up, guarding his dick into the fabric.

"f...for edging you, 'm sorry." you said, sleepy and pouty. he chuckled.

"it's okay," he said, caressing your head "at least you said sorry."

and you slept the most comfortable sleep of your post-mortem life, even drooling a bit on his chest, but he loved you just too much to do something about your innocent, naïve nature other than love and cherish it.

[strawhatpoofy]

different one piece menses and braiding your hair

a/n: hi lovelies !!! here is a lil sfw drabble / pref piece about Buggy, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, Luffy, and Brook & braiding a gn!reader’s hair! I tried to make it as inclusive as possible, pls feel free to message me if you have any questions e any suggestions or notice something I missed. ok ok imma just get to it tbh

warnings: none I think

characters: buggy, luffy, sanji, zoro, usopp, brook

words: bitch idk maybe like 300-500 per character ish?

Buggy 🃏

He’s in the middle of a rant about “that Strawhat buffoon stealing his spotlight” when you ask him to braid your hair for you. He doesn’t even break his monologue, just gestures for you to sit in front of him. Before you’ve even repositioned fully his hands are off his arms and in your hair, detangling and combing through with practiced fingers. Buggy definitely can braid hair, of many different types and lengths and knows a few different classic braid styles, and it’s something you and the rest of the crew are well aware of. You hum as he lightly scratches at your scalp while parting your locks as needed, and he’s deftly maneuvering your hair into whatever creative style his fingers mindlessly deem fit. Buggy is a casual king of hair care, and though he’d never admit it, it warms his heart when you and the crew members ask him for help with things like this. Kinda like chimps bonding via grooming, ya know? So when you close your eyes, relaxing into the captain’s hands, and nod to let him know you’re still listening it’s more than enough for him to take his time making something pretty.

Zoro ⚔️

It’s a golden afternoon on the Sunny when you wake Zoro up from a nap with a soft nudge on the shoulder. He groans, lazily squinting one eye open at you, and you ask him if he wants to try braiding your hair. This motherfucker immediately closes that one open eye. With some giggling and persistence, and the rest of the crew bustling about, hopes of sleep for Zoro are effectively crushed. He grunts, grumbles, groans as he shifts from his sleep-sitting position to accommodate you in front of him. It’s when he starts to crack his knuckles that you begin to doubt your decision. He rakes calloused fingers through your hair, moving surprisingly slowly and taking his time when he catches tangles. You let yourself cautiously enjoy his hands combing through your locks when his hands stop, and he pulls them back to his lap.

“How the fuck do you do a braid?” Zoro has one eyebrow arched, his head tilted slightly. His look of confusion is enough to send you busting out laughing. Zoro may not be able to braid your hair, but he’ll gladly play with it for you and he can put it up into a sturdy ponytail.

Luffy 🏴‍☠️

You guys are on the deck, braiding sweet grass with Chopper and Usopp; it’s something you wouldn’t have expected Luffy to know how to do, but he enjoys it. Everyone is laughing and enjoying the sun, making baskets for Sanji to use in the pantry. When a breeze comes by, blowing your hair in front of your eyes, you’ve barely had time to push it back when Luffy is sitting behind you. He asks you if he can braid your hair for you, voice hopeful and intrigued.

“Wanna see if I can braid that pretty hair just like I can with the grass! C’mon, please?” His puppy eyes are so shiny, how can anyone say no to your sweet captain ever? So that’s how you find yourself pressed against his crossed legs, his hands combing through your hair. You feel your shoulders drop and your lids fall, and you hum as Luffy begins a surprisingly intricate series of braids. He’s giggling and moving a mile a minute, telling chopper it’s “even easier than the grass! So much softer-”. By the time he’s done, you look like some sort of woodland nymph with a multitude of different braids in your hair. Not necessarily a skill you expected of your captain, but one you fully embrace- letting your captain braid your hair whenever he looks at you with those gleaming eyes.

Sanji 🚬

It’s when you’re helping him prep in the small kitchen. Your hair keeps falling over your shoulders, and your persistent huffing and puffing as you try and blow stray strands out of your face has Sanji up behind you. His long fingers are pulling the unruly hair away from your sweat-slicked forehead, about to pull it all back into a bun when you ask him if he could put it up in a braid. His fingers freeze, just for a moment, before he proceeds to plait your locks.

“Of course I can, chef.” You can hear the wink in his voice, and you nearly reach back to give him a warning smack when your hair drops against your back, perfectly tucked into a neat braid. Sanji has washed his hands and is sidled up next to you at the prep counter again before you can even gush about his shockingly impressive hair styling skills. But before he can stop you, you’ve bolted out the kitchen door to show your oh-so-purty hair off to the crew, and to make sure Sanji is spending plenty of time plaiting everyone’s hair this evening.

Usopp 🎯

Usopp is absolutely a hair braiding master. With textured hair himself, he feels confident offering the crew his braiding services. Particularly when you all find yourselves in a hot climate, Usopp is like a newspaper boy desperate for a berry.

“Someone! Anyone! Come on. You know you want to- know you got to show off your iconic hair-do by the famous Sniper King! Please…” He’s starting to pout, and everyone knows he is indeed cuter than Nami. You can’t resist that pout. Too soon, you’re on your feet, hands up in surrender as you make your way to Usopp’s side. He’s whooping and gloating, with promises that everyone else will be jealous for not taking him up on his generous offer. Then he’s plopping you down by the shoulders into a seat from behind you. His fingers are calloused but magical on your scalp, in your hair. He’s chittering away about some new tinkering project as he pulls your hair into tight braids, meant to last at least a week or so. You’re humming and leaning into his hands. He’s done quickly; he’s efficient at this. He finishes his work, tilting your head to make sure the braids are even. He pats the top of your head, and sends you off to “market his business”.

Brook 🎼

It’s your least favorite day- wash day. With wet hair and a strong desire to get it off of you, you find yourself pattering around the Sunny. The first one you find is Brook- unsurprising at this time of night. He’s singing softly to himself and sketching notes down in a work book when you approach him, asking him to braid your hair for you. His surprise is physically tangible as he puts down his pen and book.

“Y-you’d let me? Are you sure? Could I?” Brook is giddy, touch starved and affectionate man he is. You’re nodding and turning your back to him, showing him your damp locks and he stops stuttering over his words, and is sidled up at your back with the softest of “of course, thank you”’s you’ve ever heard. When Brook’s fingers touch your scalp, you’re initially surprised by the warmth. You didn’t expect, well, bone to be warm. He scrapes the tips of his fingers along your head, getting hums of satisfaction to fall from your lips. He gains his confidence at this, and he begins to pull your hair into a simple braid. It falls against your back, dampening your shirt, but it’s finally off your face, your neck. You give Brook a hug of relief and gratitude as you croon over how well he did your hair. It won’t be the last time he does it after he tells you it’s something he loved doing for his crew, before. He’s great at it and so tender with his touch, and is more than happy to acquiesce whenever you ask him to braid your hair.

[purple-imagines]

Bloated?

Pairing - Paul Lahote x FemaleReader

Summary - Reader starts gaining weight and the pack starts noticing

Warnings - body shaming, kissing, swearing, pregnancy, vomiting, period talk, Jacob being an ass, kinda ooc

Word Count - 3693

Masterlist

Friday, June 6th

"Em?" Y/N asked looking into the mirror at her stomach. "Does my stomach look, I dont know, bloated to you?"

"Um, yeah, maybe a little bit. I dont think it's anything to worry about though." The older woman replied, after looking at the girls stomach.

"I just feel like I'm getting fat. Paul probably notices too." She put her head down.

"Honey, that boy loves you more than anything. You're his whole world. You have nothing to worry about. He imprinted on you and he loves you. Now stop putting yourself down and help me make this food for them animals."

The girl laughed and started getting the table set.

Tuesday, June 10th

"Hm. That's weird."

"What?" Leah asked, the girl staying at her house.

"Nothing, just my period was supposed to start 3 days ago. I'm sure it's fine, this happens sometimes."

"If you're sure, and hurry up Elijah is about to kill Klaus."

Thursday, June 19th

The girl let out a groan, flushing the toilet after being woken up with the sudden urge to vomit.

Saturday, June 21st

All the girls, Emily, Leah, Kim, and Y/N, were all out shopping and having a girls day.

While Leah and Kim were looking through sets of bikinis. Y/N pulled Emily to the side.

"Em, I think I might be pregnant."

"What? Why do you think that??"

"Um, my periods late, my stomach looks bloated, and I've been throwing up. Not to mention Paul made my favorite dinner the other night and I couldn't stand the smell."

"We need to get you a test then, Hon."

***

After Leah and Kim left, Emily let Y/N go into the bathroom to take the test.

Coming out the bathroom, Y/N starts stressing. "What if its positive? What will Paul think? How do I deal with this?"

"Hey. Hey. Just breath. Let's first figure out if you're pregnant or not." Emily calmly says.

"Yeah, you're right." Taking a deep breath she starts to calm, until the timer goes off and her eyes get wide. "Can you check?"

Emily walks into the bathroom and looks at the test, coming out with tears in her eyes. "Um, yeah, you're pregnant"

"Oh mi gosh. Em, what am I supposed to do? Paul and I haven't even talked about kids. What if he doesn't want any?"

"Don't jump to conclusions. Take a couple days to think, and tell Paul when you're ready."

"Thank you, Emily. You always know what to say." The girl wraps her arms around the woman.

Wednesday, June 25th

The imprints made burgers and the pack was having a cookout. Everyone was making their plates. Y/N started to make her plate putting 2 burgers, each with cheese, tomato, onion, and chili. Put a little bit of slaw on the side and some chips.

"Dang girl, you're hungry today." Embry joked, making the girl laugh.

"He's not kidding you are eating a lot more lately." Jacob grumbled.

The girl got quiet and let out a silent "oh".

"What was that? Jacob." Paul growled.

"I'm just saying look at her Paul, everyone here notices how big she's getting. Maybe she should cut back."

After hearing that the girl started to stand up. Paul grabbing her hand. "Its fine, Paul. I'm just gonna go home."

She quietly grabbed her bag and apologized for the inconvenience. "Sorry, I didn't realize I did that. You can have them." Then she walked out the house. Leah chasing after her.

"What the fuck Jacob?!" Paul yelled.

"Paul." Sam warned.

"No Sam. He called her fat, she's not fat."

"We don't need a fight to break out."

"If he didn't want a fight he wouldn't have said anything."

"Paul. Enough."

Paul was shaking horribly. Sam pushed him out the house.

"Really Jacob?!" Jared called, running after Sam and Paul.

"Why is everyone so mad? I just told her how it was. You all can see how much bigger she's getting." Jacob tried to justify himself.

"That doesn't mean that you point it out." Seth told him.

"I know you were all thinking it. Just because I have the guts to tell Paul how it is doesn't make me the bad guy."

"Maybe you should learn the whole story before you go around hurting people."

"Seth. What's that supposed to mean? Seth!"

Seth ran out the house, hoping to find Leah and Y/N.

"Embry? Even you said something."

"I was joking Jake. What you did was uncalled for." Embry scoffed.

"Come on."

"Just stop Jacob." Emily snapped, causing the three left there to widen there eyes.

"Emily. Seriously? You know she's bigger!" Jacob was getting angry.

"Yeah, Jacob. She's eating more and getting bigger, but it's none of your business!" Emily snapped again.

"What if eating so much is hurting her?"

"It's not though, Jacob."

"How do you know??"

"Jacob when she is ready you'll know. Until then shut up."

"Sorry, damn."

***

"Y/N!"

"Y/N"

"Damn, you're fast."

"What do you want Leah?" Y/N sighed as she stopped and turned around, her eyes red and puffy.

"Don't listen to Jacob. He's an asshole."

"I don't care about what Jake said."

"You do or you wouldn't be crying."

"He called me fat Leah. I've never been called that before." She started to tear up. "And it's not even that I'm fat."

"What is it then?"

"Leah...I'm pregnant."

"What!? That's great news."

"Yeah, except for the fact everyone thinks I'm a pig now."

"They do not. If anyone's a pig it's Jacob. Now come on, you need the feed that little one."

***

"Paul!"

"Calm down!"

"Shift back!"

Sam phased into his wolf.

"Paul!"

"He's such an asshole." Paul snarled.

"You need to shift back. Calm down."

"I'm going to rip his throat out."

"Paul!"

"Come on Paul. She needs you." Jared joined.

"I'm trying! I can't control it."

"Calm your thoughts. Breath."

Paul started to shift back, pulling up his shorts in the process. Jared and Sam following shortly after.

***

"Y/N/N! Are you ok? You know Jake doesn't mean to be an ass." Seth tried to reassure the girl.

The girl laughed and grabbed Seth's hands. "Yes. I'm good. Thank you for checking up on me."

It was quiet for a few moments as the trio started walking back to the house. "So..." Seth piped up. "Does she know?"

Leah gasped. "What?! Know?! You told Seth before you told me!"

"He wasn't supposed to find out! He walked in on me having a meltdown about Paul." Y/N defended herself.

"Shit." The girl squeaked. "Paul! He's going to be asking questions. What am I supposed to tell him! I'm not ready. I just found out myself. I need to process this more. Stupid Jacob and his stupid big mouth!"

"Hey! Hey. Just breathe. Paul will understand if you don't want to talk." Leah reassured.

"Are you sure? Because Paul-"

Seth cut the girl off. "She's sure Y/N/N. He wouldn't pressure you into telling him something you don't want to. Now let's go eat I'm sure Little Bit in there is starving."

Both girls let out laughs.

"Um, guys, actually I was just going to go home. I don't wanna face Jacob's apologizes right now."

"Y/F/N you need to eat." Leah demanded.

"Just bring me something when you're finished? Please."

Leah sighed, knowing she wasn't changing the girls decision. "Fine. But you better eat everything I bring you."

"Pinky promise." She held up both her pinkies to Seth and Leah, Seth grabbing her pinky with his, giggling. Leah rolled her eyes, but nevertheless did the same.

"And..." The girl trailed. "Tell Paul that I took his truck. And that I'm ok?"

"So needy." Leah joked, dragging the 'y'.

"But fine I can do that."

"Thank you! You two are the best!"

"We know." They both said at the same time, causing the trio to laugh.

***

Back at home, the girl, took off her shoes and changed into pajama shorts and one of Paul's shirts.

Turning on her and Leah's favorite show to watch, 'The Vampire Diaries'. It was nice to watch people play supernatural creatures. Got their minds off of the real ones that loomed outside.

***

"Finally!" Was the first thing Leah and Seth heard as they walked through the door into Emily's and Sam's.

"Where's Y/N?" Was the second.

Leah was the one to tell Paul the situation.

"So, you just let her leave?" Paul said.

"Yes. She is a grown woman Paul." Leah retorted.

"She didn't even eat."

"I told her I would bring her something."

"I think I should go over there."

"No, you shouldn't." Sam butted in.

"And why not?!"

"Because Paul you just shifted you don't need to do that around her."

"I wouldn't hurt her." Paul glared.

"That's not the point. I said no and my answer is final. You will not go over to Y/N's tonight." Using his alpha voice, making Paul growl and leave the table.

***

"Is it bad that I'm kind of glad Sam did that?" The girl let out to her best friend.

"Yes!" Leah exclaimed.

"I just- I don't know what I would say to him."

"Your fear of confrontation is peeking through."

"Leah! This is serious."

"And I'm being serious. Paul deserves to know."

"I know. I'm just..." The girl let out a sigh. "Scared."

"You should never be scared with him. He looks at you like you're his sun. The thing that is keeping him alive."

"What if he doesn't want a baby? What if this is the one thing he can't handle with me." She whispered.

"That boy would love to start a family with you. The timing may not be ideal, but I've seen the way he looks at you. I saw the way he looked at you before the imprint. You are his literal everything and not just because fate decided you were destined. You were meant to have forever with each other way before fate decided it."

Y/N had tears in her eyes by the time Leah had finished. "I really needed that Leah." She sniffled. "I guess, sometimes, my insecurities take over. I've just been so scared, with the vampires and Bella. There's no time for a baby. Not in his life. He already has so much on him. Why do I need to add more?"

"Quit putting yourself down. You know you come first, when it comes to anything with Paul. A baby is not a burden, or something that just adds pressure. A baby can bring joy and bring people together. Maybe that's what we all need right now."

"Yeah. Maybe you're right."

"No maybe about it. I am right."

"Oh so modest." The girls giggled.

Thursday, June 26th

Awoken to heavy knocks on the front door, both girls growned, having stayed up most of the night talking.

"Y/N. Get the door." Leah grumbled.

"Why me?" The girl whined.

"It's your house."

"You kept me up all night."

"You mean you kept me up all night."

"No."

"Just open the door."

"Fine." She whined, pushing herself out of bed, looking at the clock on her nightstand that read 8:07 am.

Stomping to the door, grumbling profanities the whole way. She pulled the door open only to be greeted with-

"Paul?"

"Hey! I couldn't sleep without making sure you were ok. Jacob was an asshole. He never should have said those untrue things. I love your body and you should too. I think you're beautiful, inside and out. I don't care that you can eat two burgers, I love a woman that can hold her food. Yo-"

"Paul." She cut him off. "As sweet as this is, can we do it later? I'm sorry. Leah kept me up until 5 this morning and all I wanna do is curl up and take a hundred year nap."

"Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Want a cuddle buddy?" A smirk slowly rising on his face.

"You know I could never turn you down." She grinned pulling him inside and onto the couch.

***

By the time the girl woke Paul was already gone, a note in his place, telling her he had patrol but would be back after.

Leah was gone too, so the girl assumed the pack needed her as well.

Grabbing some clothes, she went into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

***

After a much needed shower, Y/N looked out the window and noticed Paul's truck still in the driveway and his keys still on her nightstand.

Grabbing the keys, and getting in the truck, she started her drive to Emily's.

***

"Hey Em." She called, walking inside.

"Heyyyy." Said girl peeked her head out the kitchen. "I need to talk to you."

"Ok, nothing stressful about that sentence at all."

"Have you told Paul?"

"Diving right in, I see." She muttered.

"Huh?" Emily called from the kitchen.

"Oh! Uh- no I haven't."

"Do you know when you're going to? Because I think you should soon, it'll make all this doubt you have go away."

"I don't know. Soon though, promise!"

Tuesday, July 7th

Everyone was gathered around Emily and Sam's table, laughing and joking around. Well, everyone except Jacob he was upset with Bella, which made him brood.

Y/N sat beside Paul, occasionally stealing the tomatoes off his plate, he always put them to the side for her to grab because they were her favorites and he wasn't that fond of them.

Going unnoticed by the pack and the imprints, everytime she'd take one Jacob would roll his eyes and scoff.

Grabbing the last one of Paul's plate and about to put it in her mouth she was stopped by Jacob's rude voice.

"Are you serious?" He scoffed.

Everyone looked around confused as to what his sudden outburst was about.

"Everything ok, Jacob?" Emily asked.

Jacob let out a little laugh and clicked his tongue.

This time Y/N spoke up.

"Are you upset, Jacob?"

"Me? What? No." He paused. "I do think Paul should be though."

"Why would Paul be upset?" You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Because his girlfriend has already had more than enough, but she's still eating. And not just that but taking it off his plate. Do you really need that much food Y/N? All it does is make you fatter, which is definitely not something you need. If anything you need to exercise more." He spat at her.

His outburst caused Kim and Emily to let out gasps. Jared and Paul standing up.

Paul had his mouth open about to say something but before he could Y/N interrupted.

"Paul. It's fine. He can feel the way he feels. I'm just gonna go home."

"No you're not." Emily piped in. "Jacob if you could please leave."

"What?" Jacob exclaimed.

"I asked if you could leave, I expect you to use respect in my house and until I see you give some to Y/N I want you to leave."

"She's not even apart of the pack."

"She's an imprint. We are apart of this pack, now are you gonna apologize or did I need to get Paul to escort you out?"

Jacob scuffed, "I'm sorry I called you fat, it may be true but it was not nice of me to say."

Paul was fuming, "I accept your apology"

"No she doesn't." Paul vented.

"Paul, it's fine I don't wanna cause a fight."

"You're not causing the fight. He is."

"He apologized. That's enough. Let's finish eating, then I have to tell you something."

***

"You wanted to tell me something?" Paul said, as he drove them home.

"Can it wait? I'm really tired and just wanna go to sleep."

"Of course, Sweetheart." He kisses her temple.

Thursday, July 9th

"I'm telling him."

All three girls let out simultaneous screams.

"Finally!" Emily exclaimed.

"Took you long enough" Leah joked.

"I still can't believe you're pregnant." Kim gasped.

"Well maybe I should wait a little longer, maybe until August?" Y/N let out a cheeky grin.

"No!" All three girls yelled.

The guys were on patrol and the imprints had the house to themselves. There was a knock at the door.

The girl laughed as she got up to get the door.

"Are you expecting anyone?" Leah questioned Emily.

"No." Emily whispered out.

"Y/N don't answer that." Leah called.

"Guys I invited someone." Y/N answered back.

"Who? We're your only friends." Leah joked.

Y/N opened the door, only for Bella to be standing awkwardly on the other side.

"Hi! Come in. Come in."

"No." Leah deadpanned.

"I thought it would be nice. Jacob really likes her."

"Why do you care what Jacob thinks? He's an ass."

"He wasn't always one. And a friend of Jake's is a friend of ours."

"Well, I think it was nice of Y/N to invite Bella. Make yourself at home Bella, the guys shouldn't be back for a while so it's just us girls. Right now we're just talking but later we're baking!" Emily clapped.

"Ok." Bella squeaked out.

"I don't think we've met. I'm Kim." She introduced herself.

"Bella." She said and waved.

"Well sit down, come on." Emily waved her over. "You ok if we still talk about.."

"Of course! As long as you promise not to tell the guys." Y/N put on her best serious face and looked Bella dead in her eyes.

"I barely talk to them."

"You can't tell Jacob."

"I won't tell Jacob."

"Ok..well I'm pregnant, the baby is Paul's and I haven't told him yet."

"Omg. Congratulations."

"Thank you! I'm kinda in this adrenaline thing right now and I'm hoping it won't wear off by the time Paul gets here." The girls giggled.

"So. Boys!" Emily exclaimed. "Jared?"

"We're really good. He's the greatest. The other day he tried to make me breakfast in bed, he got up really early, my parents were out of town, word of advice Em, never and I mean ever let Jared in the kitchen. It was sweet though he brought me fried eggs and bacon, only all of it was black." Kim laughed at the memory. "And I have a burnt spot on the wall in my kitchen, he still won't tell me what happened."

"He's such a klutz."

"But he makes it so adorable!"

The girls laughed at how in love she was.

"I already told y'all all my boy struggles." Y/N threw her hands up. "What about Sam?" She wiggled her eyebrows, causing the girls to let out giggles.

"Sam is..." Emily let out a sigh, "Sam is perfect. The wedding is soon, as you all know. But enough about me I wanna know about your love life Leah. Oh, and Bella would you like anything to drink, we've got wine and water, sorry not much."

"I'm good. Thank you." Bella muttered, still awkward.

"Leahhhh. Love life. Go." Emily may be a little tipsy.

"Can't talk about something that's non-existent."

"Leah don't lie. We're all friends here." Y/N blurted out.

"Fine. I did meet this girl....but that's all I'm saying!"

Emily and Kim let out pouts while Y/N laughed, maybe letting them have wine was a bad idea.

"You." Emily pointed at Bella.

"Me?" Bella questioned.

"Yes. How's your vamp?"

"Oh, um- he's nice, I guess."

"No. I need more than nice."

"He's really good at dancing." Bella shrugged.

"I need more." Emily begged.

Maybe Bella should of said yes to that wine.

***

It had been a good four hours and 4 out of 5 of the girls were more than tipsy. The 5th one just laughing her ass off at her friends.

The guys were in for a surprise when they came in. There was flour everywhere. In places where flour shouldn't be.

The girls were sitting in a circle in the kitchen, giggling, waiting on their cookies and brownies and muffins to be done. They got a little over board.

Then the door opened and the girls went silent. Sam walked through the door to be met with flour and baking ingredients all over the table and counters, along with 3 empty bottles of wine. He could hear whispers in the kitchen.

"Maybe if we stay really quiet they won't realize we're here." Emily whispered. The other girls giggling. "Shhhhh."

Sam peered over into the kitchen, watching the five girls huddle down, not noticing he was there. Hearing the guys he quieted them letting them look.

Emily peered up seeing the guys watch them causing her to squeak and the other girls to look up.

Each guy had an amused look on his face, watching the girls.

"Welp, grab one." Sam called.

Sam scooped Emily up into his arms, causing her to let out of squeal.

Jared did the same to Kim, and Jacob to Bella. Seth grabbed his sister, and Paul grabbed Y/N.

"Paul, wait, I have to tell you something" Y/N said. "I'm not drunk. I can't even drink."

He took the girl and sat her down outside. She stood in front of him, and he gave her a look to continue.

Hearing loud noises coming from the house, they both looked over only to see all four girls watching them with wide grins on their faces.

"What is happening?" Paul asked, with a confused smile.

In the background you could hear the girls screaming with excitement.

"Here goes nothing. Paul..."

"Yes."

"I'm pregnant."

Paul's face was pure shock, all the girls in the background screaming and cheering.

"We're gonna have a baby?"

"Yeah. We're gonna have a baby. It's why I've been getting bigger, as Jacob so kindly reminds me."

"I'll kill him if you want me to."

"I know you would."

"I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Why is the leech lover here?"

"I invited her. She's actually really nice. I get why Jacob likes her."

"I can't believe we're going to have a baby."

"Me neither."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too."

[agent-grey-fics]

Who we are | Paul Lahote | Part 1

Paired: Paul Lahote x reader Wordcount: 4782

Summary: Y/n had been friends with Jake as long as she could remember. Slowly she got integrated in his friend group from the rez. They all got a long, but one day Paul started to act out. Little did y/n know what they thruly were and that he imprinted on her.

Writers note: I’m sorry if there're error's. It's been a while since I've written something and I needed to get back into my flow.

You can read part 2 here, part 3 comming soon.

The air was filled with laughter and chatter as the close friends hung out outside Sam’s place. The atmosphere was relaxed, they had just successfully teamed up with the Cullens clan to chase a rogue vampire off their territory. But the relaxed atmosphere changed when you walked up to the group. ‘Oh, look who decided to grace us with her presence.’ Paul’s voice was dripping with sarcasm as he spoke. You narrowed your eyes at him, irritation clearly written all over your face. Your friends exchanged knowing glances, clearly used to the constant bickering between you two. ‘Come sit over here, just ignore him.’ Jacob patted the empty spot next to him. The two of you used to get along perfectly fine but it all changed one day. He started acting like a total dick and you didn’t understand why. Without giving Paul a second glance you plopped down next to Jacob who immediately put an arm around your shoulders. ‘When did you come home? I thought you had classes until next weekend?’ You shook your head at Jake’s assumption. ‘I might be skipping classes to hang out with my favourite people.’ A smile spread across your lips as you spoke. One of the things you had promised yourself was to get out of Forks, you could not understand why people wanted to live there their whole lives. It was always cloudy and raining. So when the time came to apply to colleges you chose the ones as far away as possible where the sun was always shining. ‘I knew you would miss me, I told you so.’ He was teasing you, the two of you used to hang out all of the time during middle school and after a while, he introduced you to the guys from the rez. They became your closest friends and you basically spend every Friday night with them since you were thirteen. It was a big change when you moved across the country without them. ‘We literally went from seeing each other every day to once every four months.’ He pulled you closer to his side and pressed a quick kiss against your hair. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Paul ball his hands into fists and roll his eyes

‘So, are we partying tonight or what?’ You wiggled your eyebrows as you gave Embry a playful look. He was always up for a good party and you knew he could convince Sam. ‘I’m not up for it y/n, it has been a crazy week an-’. You pat Quil, who was sitting on your other side, on his thigh when he started to whine. ‘Come on, your favourite girl is back in town and you don’t want to celebrate?’ You gave him your best puppy eyes. ‘Favourite girl’ Paul mumbled under his breath. ‘Hey if you don’t wanna go you can stay home, Paul.’ you spat at him, ‘ I don’t care if you join us or not.’ He rolled his eyes and looked to the other side. Jake squeezed into your shoulder, signalling for you to quit. ‘We could go to that bar in Port Angeles?’ Embry suggested as he looked at Sam, ‘a couple of hours wouldn’t mind right? We can take the girls?’ You bit on the inside of your cheek to keep a grin from forming on your lips as you heard him. Like you said, Embry was your partner in crime when it came to parties. Emily nodded enthusiastically as she heard his proposal and gave you a wink. It was a bit weird in the beginning, you weren’t used to true girlfriends who weren’t toxic. But Emily was an angel, she was so sweet and wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Sam sighed. ‘Alright, but only for a couple of hours and I’m not driving.’ You threw your arms in the air as a victory sign. ‘Do you need to change or are you wearing these?’ Jake pointed towards your outfit. ‘Hey, don’t hate on the hoodie.’ A chuckle left his lips. ‘No, I’ve packed some things they’re still in my car. Is it ok that I change here real quick Sam?’ He nodded and pointed over his shoulder towards the house. ‘You know where the bathroom is.’ You jogged towards your car and took the bag you packed with extra clothes knowing you guys would end up going out and you were probably going to crash at Jake’s place. 

‘Em, what are you wearing?’ The two of you stood in their bathroom as you were hoisting yourself in a black skirt. She was coating her lashes with mascara. ‘I think that black dress I wore when we went clubbing in Phoenix last month.’ Emily was the only one who had visited you since you moved into your uni apartment. She had stayed for a couple of days and the two of you went partying with your roommate Alex. ‘I love that dress, it looks so good on you.’ It took about fifteen minutes until the two of you were done, and that was just when the boys' patience ran out. ‘You decent?’ Without waiting for your answer Embry marched into the bathroom, ‘cause we wanna get going.’ ‘Yeah yeah, let’s go.’ When you walked back onto the porch you noticed that Jared had left, something about Kim not feeling too well and he didn’t want to leave her home alone. So it was only Jake, you, Embry, Quil, Sam, Emily and Paul. Great. 

‘So, who’s driving?’

— 

The drive had been fun, you ended up in Quil’s front seat with Jacob and Embry in the back. Paul was driving himself, Sam and Emily. ‘Next time we need to Uber there so that everyone can drink.’ You remarked as Quil parked his car in one of the empty parking spaces of the bar. ‘I checked but there were no availabilities for our number of people.’ Embry passed you a bottle of wine the two had been sharing during the ride. ‘Oh, well next time we can book one in advance.’ You downed the last gulp of wine before the four of you got out of the car. Paul pulled into the parking space on your side. As he got out he looked you up and down. You didn’t know if he was checking you out or if it was out of disgust. Before you could give him a remark he walked towards Jake, ignoring you completely. Embry swung his arm around your shoulders and pulled you towards the entrance. ‘We’re gonna get wasted.’ 

And wasted you were. It started with shots, Embry handing you one after another while he seemed to forget that you didn't have the same alcohol tolerance as the boys. After the fourth shot, a blissful feeling spreads across your body. The lights in combination with the rhythmic beats put you in a trance, the biggest smile on your lips as you move your body to the music. Jake decided to be ‘the responsible one’ tonight, which meant he wasn’t drinking so he could keep you from doing stupid things. ‘Dude I miss this.’ You had to shout to get over the music so he could hear you. ‘Me too girl, me too.’ Jake had a warm smile on his lips as he saw you having fun. There had been times when that smile was far gone, losing a parent had that effect on people. Jake had nursed you back to the girl you once were and he had sworn to protect you at all costs, he had almost lost you once and he for sure wasn’t going to lose you twice. ‘I’ll come visit you more in Phoenix, I’ve talked about it with Sam and they can miss me a couple of days.’ Your mouth fell open as you heard him speak. ‘Oh my god’ You jumped a little in excitement and threw your arms around his neck. ‘That’s awesome, I’ll plan us a fun weekend and I can show you around. You’ll love it.’ His chest vibrated as he laughed. Jake loved you, so much, but as a brother who loved his sister and nothing more. It took him a long time to convince the guys that there wasn’t anything more between the two of you but they finally understood the bond the two of you shared when he told them about you losing your mom when you were a teen and how it affected you. ‘We’ll plan it when you’re sober’ You took a step back and pointed at him with finger guns: ‘Good idea big boy, but before that’s the case I’m going to grab another drink. You want one?’ He shook his head and you made your way towards the bar. 

The dancefloor was packed with bodies grinding into each other, you had to squeeze yourself through the mass to get to the bar. Impatiently you tapped your nails on the counter. When it took too long, you bent a little over the bar using your cleavage to get the bartender's attention. They were watching anyway, so it was better to use it to your own advantage. ‘What can I get you?’. You quickly glanced over your shoulder to look for Embry. ‘Two tequila shots and a beer, but half beer half coke please.’ Using your most flirty smirk you ordered the drinks, it earned you a wink from the bartender. He wasn't bad-looking, quite the opposite. He had slightly longer hair, a nose ring and his arms were covered in tattoos. ‘Here’s my card to close the tab.’ You quickly pulled your card from your purse and gave it to him. When he stepped away to make your drinks you took a step back so you took your cleavage from display. Absent-minded you swayed to the beat of the music, not paying attention to your surroundings. Your mind wandered to Paul, you couldn't remember when the rivalry between the two of you had started. One day everything seemed fine, the next it wasn’t. He did his best to make you feel unwelcome, even though you had been part of the friend group for a long time. It bothered you, you couldn’t deny that. You always thought there was a certain chemistry between the two of you but that changed when he started acting like a total dick. The barman pulled you out of your thoughts as he placed the shot glasses in front of you, followed by the beer, a salt shaker and a slice of lemon. You wanted to remark that you needed a second slice when you saw that he had one wedged between his lips, it was that kind of bar. Mischief glinted in his eyes. 

The plan to take shots with Embry was taken off the table. You wet the back of your hand with your tongue so that some salt stuck to it. Then you licked up the salt, took the shot and pulled the barman towards you. Your lips just barely touched his as you took the slice from his mouth. As the sourness of the lemon wiped away the tart taste of the tequila, your timidity also disappeared. You placed the lemon slice on the bar and stood on your tippytoes so you could press your lips against his. He grinned, you could feel it. After a couple of seconds you pulled away, smile on your lips. ‘I’m y/n by the way.’ You extended your hand towards him. ‘Rafa.’ He shook your hand, ‘well, that was fun.’ You laughed. ‘Yeah, I guess I’m heading back to my friends over there.’ You pointed vaguely in the direction of Jake, ‘Maybe I’ll see you later.’ Before he could say anything else you grabbed the other shot of tequila and your beer and made your way through the crowd. 

‘Did you just make out with the bartender?’ It was Emily who asked you in disbelief, a big grin across her face. ‘Yeah, that was different.’ Laughing, you shook your head. ‘Anyway, here.’ You extended the shot glass topped with a lemon slice towards Embry. ‘Couldn’t bring the salt, sorry.’ He shrugged, downed the tequila and bit on the lemon as he pulled a sour face.’But you could put your tongue down the poor guy's throat?’ Your jaw dropped at his comeback. ‘At least I get to stick my tongue down someone’s throat Call.’ You flicked your hand against the back of his head which drew a laugh from Jake. You sipped from the beer you were holding in your hand, you preferred this over wine any day. This was your last shot, you would do things you would regret if you kept going knowing yourself. Tequila is nasty but after a few shots so am I, or how did it go? ‘The fuck are you drinking?’ You looked down at your glass and saw that the Coke and beer lumped together into a cloudy mess. ‘It’s Coke mixed with beer, it’s quite good.’ You looked up and didn’t realise it had been Paul who asked you. He wore a black round-necked shirt that stretched around his chest and biceps. Damn, he looked good. You lifted the glass towards him. ‘You can taste if you want?’ He shook his head, ‘I’m driving remember?’ You were surprised you had a civil conversation without making stupid remarks to each other. ‘Jake’s sober as well, and you won’t get drunk from one sip?’ You challenged him. An eyebrow raised as you looked at him. You knew he was going to give in, you knew him far too well for that. You would never push him if you knew he was still going to drive, but now that Jacob wasn’t drinking anyway, it didn't matter. He sighed. 'Why do you always want to get your way? It’s annoying you know.' There it was, it stung a bit. He knew well enough that comments like this annoyed you. ‘Never mind.’ It was a mumble that he couldn’t hear because of the blasting music, or so you thought. 

As the bass thrummed through the club, Paul's initial refusal lingered in the charged air between you. A sense of nostalgia tugged at both of you, overshadowed only by unspoken tensions. You still didn’t understand where it went wrong between the two of you. You used to be as close as you were with Embry, it annoyed him to see you giving him all your attention. Everything would be so much easier if you knew their secret, he sighted. He wasn’t planning on ruining your dream of getting out of that old town. You could never know. 

Paul watched the liquid swirl in your glass. He hesitated, battling the weight of pride against the allure of bridging the growing chasm between you. The music pulsed a synchronous rhythm to the unspoken conversation between old friends. He reached out, fingers brushing against hers as he took the cool glass.

‘Jake’s driving.’ Paul said, his voice a bit softer than before. A pause lingered, a shared understanding settling between you. With a slight grin, you let go of the glass. ‘One sip won't hurt, you can still drive if you want to.’ He took a sip of the strange mixture. The taste was a blend of bitterness and something sweet, mirroring the complexity of your relationship. ‘Where did you find this combination? This is gross’ He pulled a face when he handed you the pint back. ‘Probably in someone's living room a couple of years ago, I quite like it. Jake does so too.’ You pointed over your shoulder in the direction of your best friend. You looked over your shoulder to make sure he was still there. He made eye contact with Paul and gave him a grin which caused you some confusion. ‘oh yeah, I remember him drinking something strange but I didn’t know it was beer with coke.’

The tension ebbed away, replaced by a familiar feeling. You took another sip from you glass, not wanting to provoke him with something you said. Paul broke the silence. ‘So, Phoenix, huh? That's a big move.’ You nodded, a hint of sadness in your voice. ‘Yeah, it's a new chapter, barely any rain.’ You laughed,  ‘But I miss this place, well not the place but I miss the people and the Friday nights.’ You felt somewhat sober, too scared to say something wrong to him and lose the conversation. ‘They miss you too, Jake could only talk about you the first few weeks after you moved out. It was annoying as shit.’ He laughed, it was a roaring sound that came deep from his chest. ‘He’s coming to visit me in the next couple of weeks.’ You smiled proudly.  You could see how his eyes flickered to something behind you, the smile dropping from his face. 

When you followed his gaze you saw a figure emerge from the crowd, catching your eye. It was Rafa, the bartender from earlier, making his way through the sea of dancing bodies. His eyes locked onto yours, a determined expression etched across his face as he approached.

"Hey," Rafa called out over the music, flashing a charismatic smile. Startled, you turned to face him, your features displaying a mix of surprise and curiosity. ‘Didn’t think to see you again.’ You replied, the lingering effects of the tequila shots adding a hint of boldness to you tone. Paul observed the interaction with a tightness in his jaw, a knot forming in the pit of his stomach. His eyes followed Rafa's movement toward you, his presence unsettling the fragile peace you two found during the night.

Sensing Paul's gaze on you, you glanced briefly in his direction, noting the clench of his fists and the tension in his posture. A flicker of realization passed through you, though you chose to ignore it for the moment, focusing on Rafa's approach. You were about to say something when you felt a sudden presence beside you. Paul stood abruptly closer, a steely glint in his eyes as he interjected, his voice laced with an unexpected edge. ‘Hey, is there a problem here?’ His words came out sharper than he intended, a protective instinct surfacing within him. Rafa’s expression shifted slightly, registering the intrusion. ‘I was just having a conversation with y/n here. We’re good’ he replied, raising his hands in a placating gesture.

You turned your attention between Paul and Rafa, sensing the tension building around the three of you. ‘It's fine, Paul. Rafa was just asking me to go for a smoke,’ you explained, trying to diffuse the situation. Paul's jaw clenched further, a mixture of emotions swirling within him. ‘I can take you for a smoke, if that's what you want,’  he offered, his voice softer, tinged with a hint of vulnerability. As you contemplate your response, the underlying jealousy in Paul’s eyes doesn't escape your notice, a silent testament to the emotions simmering just beneath the surface. ‘Look mate, I don’t know who you are bu-’ You saw Paul step forward and you knew what was going to happen, having been in this situation before. Before you had time to react, Sam popped up next to you. With a stern 'Paul', he seemed to restrain him. He abruptly turned his head in Sam's direction, ignoring Rafa completely.  Rafa watched the situation with a disinterested look. ‘Y/n, could you take Paul outside he needs to calm the fuck down.’ Emily gave you a mysterious look, as if she was trying to tell you something but you were speaking a completely different language. 'Come on,' you said as you wrapped your hand around his wrist so you could pull him behind you. It looked ridiculous, Paul was 6’5’ and looked huge next to your 5’8’. He seemed to think the same and and took your hand in his. He led the way so you could easily navigate through the crowd to the exit. Why the fuck was he acting this way, ruining your evening. 

The cold night air hit you like a slap in the face as you stormed out of the bar, the door slamming shut behind you. The music and laughter inside became muffled, replaced by the harsh reality of the argument that had just unfolded. Paul followed you, his steps heavy and purposeful, a volatile energy emanating from him. ‘What the hell is your problem, Paul?’ you spat, turning to face him, your frustration boiling over. ‘You can't just waltz in and ruin everything because you're feeling possessive. Especially when you-’

Paul's jaw clenched, his eyes flashing with a mixture of anger and hurt. ‘Possessive? You think I'm being possessive? Maybe if you paid a bit more attention, you'd see that I'm just trying to look out for you!’ You scoffed, your voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘Look out for me? By intimidating every guy who dares to talk to me? That's not looking out for me, Paul, that's just being controlling.’

He took a step closer, his towering figure loomed over you. ‘I'm not trying to control you, y/n. I just can't stand seeing you with-,’ ’Get used to it!’ you yelled, your patience wearing thin. ‘I can talk to whoever I want, Paul. I don't need your permission.’

His hands balled into fists at his sides. ‘Permission? This isn't about permission. It's about you being reckless and not caring about who you're with. That guy could be dangerous, for all we know.’ ‘Stop acting like you know what's best for me!" you shot back, your voice rising. ‘I'm not a child, and I certainly don't need you playing the overprotective friend.’

The tension between you two was palpable, the air charged with resentment. Passersby glanced in your direction, drawn by the intensity of the argument. Paul's eyes bore into yours, his frustration reaching its peak.

‘You always do this!’ he shouted, the anger in his voice cutting through the night. ‘You act like you’re on top of the world, like you're invincible. But you're not, y/n. You're just as vulnerable as the rest of us, and I can't stand seeing you put yourself in stupid situations.’

Your temper flared, and you matched his intensity.  ‘Stupid situations? Me having fun in a bar is a stupid situation? Me, a twenty-six years old woman making out with a bartender is a stupid situation? Do you hear yourself? You can't ruin everything because you're feeling like acknowledging me for a night. Especially when you’re the one who casted me aside like old trash’ You were fuming, all the anger that was bottled up coming out all at once. ‘You’ve been fucking ignoring me for the last year and a half and God knows what I did wrong to get on your bad side but you’ve only been cruel towards me ever since.’ You could feel tears well up in your eyes but you were determined to not let him see you cry. 

The words hung heavy in the cold night air, the weight of the past year and a half of silence between you two finally surfacing. Paul's expression shifted from anger to a mix of guilt and regret. His hands slowly unclenched, a defeated look in his eyes.

‘I never wanted to hurt you,’ he muttered, the edge in his voice replaced by a tone of remorse. ‘I just... I couldn't be around you, y/n. It's complicated, and I never meant to cast you aside.’ You shook your head, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. ‘Complicated? You think giving me the cold shoulder for over a year without any explanation is complicated? Paul, we used to be friends, close friends. You can't just shut me out like that without a reason.’

He ran a hand through his hair, frustration etched on his face. ‘It's not that simple, okay? There are things you don't know, things I can't explain.’ ‘Try me!’ you shot back, your patience wearing thin. ‘I deserve to know why one of my best friends turned into a stranger. I deserve some damn honesty, Paul.’ He hesitated, his eyes searching yours for a moment before he spoke, ‘It's not just about us, y/n. It's about something bigger, something I can't control.’ Confusion knit your brows together. ‘What are you talking about?’

Paul took a deep breath, as if preparing himself for what he was about to say. "I... I can't explain it fully, but it has to do with what we are, with what I am. It's not just me; there are others, and it's complicated. I wish I could tell you more, but it's dangerous, and I can't risk dragging you into it.’

Your frustration shifted to a mix of confusion and concern. ‘What do you mean, what you are? Paul, you're not making any sense. Are you in some kind of trouble?’ He looked away, unable to meet your gaze. ‘It's a long story, and it's not something I can easily share. Just know that I never wanted to hurt you, and I'm sorry for pushing you away.’

The night air seemed to grow colder as the weight of his words settled in. You felt a mix of emotions – anger, hurt, confusion, but also a hint of understanding. Whatever secret Paul was harboring, it seemed to be beyond his control.  ‘I want to go home.’  He nodded, ‘I’ll take you home, Just... please be careful. I never wanted you to get caught up in this mess."

As Paul nodded in response to your desire to go home, you couldn't shake the intensity of the situation. The revelations left more questions than answers, and the air felt charged with an unspoken tension. The distance between you two seemed to grow with every step back to his car, the weight of the unknown settling heavily on your shoulders. The drive home was silent, the engine's hum the only sound accompanying the echoing thoughts in both your minds. Glancing at Paul, you noticed the conflict etched on his face, as if he was torn between revealing more and protecting you from the undisclosed danger.

As his car pulled into your driveway, the sense of relief mingled with the lingering unease. Paul turned off the engine, but neither of you moved for a moment. The night held an unusual stillness, the world outside your car encapsulated in a hushed suspense.

As Paul nodded in response to your desire to go home, you couldn't shake the intensity of the situation. The revelations left more questions than answers, and the air felt charged with an unspoken tension. The distance between you two seemed to grow with every step back to his car, the weight of the unknown settling heavily on your shoulders.

The drive home was silent, the engine's hum the only sound accompanying the echoing thoughts in both your minds. Glancing at Paul, you noticed the conflict etched on his face, as if he was torn between revealing more and protecting you from the undisclosed danger.

As his car pulled into your driveway, the sense of relief mingled with the lingering unease. Paul turned off the engine, but neither of you moved for a moment. The night held an unusual stillness, the world outside your car encapsulated in a hushed suspense. Breaking the silence, you spoke, your voice a mix of weariness and frustration. "Paul, I need more than apologies. I need answers. What's going on? What's this 'mess' you keep talking about?"

He sighed, his gaze fixed on the steering wheel. ‘It's complicated, y/n. It's about... a situation back home that's getting complicated since you’ve been gone. A lot of stuff is happening, and I've been trying to keep you out of it.’ Your eyes widened with disbelief. Jake never told me about this?’’ Paul hesitated before replying, ‘It's not up to him to tell you about it. Like I’ve said it’s complicated. It's not something I can easily explain,I didn't want you to get caught up in it.’

Your frustration shifted to a mix of confusion and concern. ‘What do you mean Paul, you're not making any sense. Are you in some kind of trouble?’ He looked away, unable to meet your gaze. ‘It's a long story, and it's not something I can easily share. Just know that I never wanted to hurt you, and I'm sorry for pushing you away.’

The air seemed to grow colder as the weight of his words settled in. You felt a mix of emotions – anger, hurt, confusion, but also a hint of understanding. Whatever secret Paul was harboring, it seemed to be beyond his control. 

[fuckmeyer]

would have loved to see the absolute mental unraveling of Edward Cullen during his honeymoon. in just a few short days the man goes from "oh no, i'm going to have to be physically intimate with my new extremely breakable wife," to "Oh No, that was the hottest night of my existence & i almost broke my new extremely breakable wife so now i definitely can't do this again even if it's hottest thing i'll ever do," to "oh nO, my new extremely breakable wife is wearing vIRTUALLY NOTHING on this hot tropical island & she's finally got the confidence to try & seduce me & i have to reject her despite kNOWING HOW GREAT IT IS TO HAVE SEX WITH HER" to "OH NO MY WIFE IS WEARING THE WORLD'S SCRAPPIEST BLACK LACE NIGHTGOWN & IS BEGGING ME TO HAVE SEX WITH HER BUT I CAN'T BUT I WANT TO BUT I'LL KILL HER BUT-