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dc-ocs-200x · 1 year

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FILE

Trigger Warnings: Past of living in slavery and abuse of all kinds following said slavery, only touched on briefly in the beginning of the Backstory (May eventually delve deeper into specific abuse in a psychoanalysis).

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General Information

Name: Pride "Athena"

Nickname: Ann, Thena, Ena, Thea, Pride and joy

Age: Melinia years worth though physically appears about 21/22

Species: Embodiment of Pride, immortal being, once was human

Gender: AFAB, identifies as female

Pronouns: She/her/hers

Sexuality: Lesbian

D.O.B: November 14th

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio ♏️

Alignment: Overall Nuetral Nuetral

Classification: Beta-Caregiver

Physical Appearance

Skin Color: White

Hair Color: Blonde

Hair Style: Curtain bangs or split down the middle, hair is very long reaching her lower back and appears curly if not unruly, occasionally has some extra pieces of her bangs tied up in two smaller pigtails on the sides of her head

Eye Color: Purple

Wears: Pride likes a combination of professional and cute, so her go to is frilly button ups, shirts that hang off her shoulders, or regular button ups with a thin bow tie, in regards to her bottoms she is content to wear whatever matches having no direct preference between skirts and pants, she also very, very often has a hair accessory like a bow or flower crown, and other various items.

Personality

Personality: On the surface, Pride is (as her title suggests) is very prideful and confident. While loving the appraisal of others, she will not hesitate to flip into a full bitch with the wrong word against her or her pride, having no issues breaking someone else down (especially verbally) should they hurt her or her family in any sense of the word. While she carries herself as needing no one, all these traits are just surface level. Upon breaking past this, there's still a broken little girl scarred from a childhood of degradation, being used, and pain, desperate to simply be seen as a 'good girl' and to please. Surprisingly, a lot of her smiles are forced or fake, not wanting to worry others but always having an impending sense of doom following her wherever she goes, that said they're still beautiful smiles. A creature of nature and very obedient, Pride does extremely well at following directions and honestly feeling more comfortable in that kind of setting. Like all the sins, to an extent, Pride is extremely curious especially in the worlds around her while not one to ask thounds of questions, she is extremely content to sit and listen to things for hours at a time.

Likes: Flowers, hair accessories, being called a 'good girl', praise, dancing (especially ballet and slow dancing), going for walks

Dislikes: Bee stings, isolation, rudeness (especially unprompted), bringing up her past, swimming in deep water

Fears: Drowning, humiliation, being stung by anything, being abandoned

Quotes

Quote 1: "They told us they wanted us to be proper, especially when.... guests were around."

Quote 2: "He's pretty. Nice to meet you Envy."

Quote 3: "Before I get too mean and take it out on you... and your best friend too.."

Quote 4: "No! I wanted to forget those things! Don't uncover them! I don't want these terrible memories anymore!"

Quote 5: "Oh, I wouldn't know, I've never stood behind a man."

Quote 6: "Doesn't mean you haven't been through stuff. They definitely didn't pick up any 'no trauma' kids... when yours gets bad.... I wanna be there. I wanna help."

Quote 7: "Its possible. I'll have to look into the book later.... right now... my girlfriend and I are doing our hair. Would you like to join us?"

Quote 8: "So this part of the book are family trees... we three are all on the same family tree... so that means..."

Relationship with Other Characters

Lust "Darcey": They like each other fine, bonding over a certain kind of shared trauma, similar care to their appearances, they throughly enjoy each other's company, Lust proving to be a remarkably well listener, there's also playful banter back and forth.

Gluttony "Nyx": Very protective of Nyx as she is the youngest, Pride greatly tried to embrace her big sister role and teach Gluttony as much as she could (though the young girl likely already knew more than Pride due to a favoritusm from Cain), even now she keeps to her older sister role gossiping and listening whenever the younger girl wants.

Wrath "Lucias": One of the few family members she doesn't feel she needs to necessarily protect, though make no mistake, she still won't tolerate slander against its name. Like with many of the sins and Wrath, they have a sibling relationship.

Envy "Raven": Of the other sins in the home, Pride is closest to Envy, the two perceiving each other as a very close brother and sister relationship (though they both had Cain and Abel fooled into believing they would be together in a relationship for years).

Sloth "Salem": Being the closest in age with Sloth, Pride gets along with them very well, perceiving herself as older than him, she often will protect her to the best of her ability.

Greed "Lux": Pride tends to take things easy on Greed, while his personality of a spoiled child can get annoying, she also realizes that he can't just turn it off, considering their ages, she easily just sees him as a typical baby brother.

Cain: On the surface they seem to have a typical niece and uncle relationship (one of noticing her when it's convenient for Cain) but Cain is much more proud of Athena than he bothers to let on, similarly, Pride embraced some behaviors of Cain's very naturally making her act most like him between the uncles, Cain initiated the nickname of 'Pride and Joy' as a joke to her title.

Abel: Much like with the other sins, Abel is much more openly affectionate towards Pride and has no qualms feeding her ego every now and again, insisting it's 'in her nature to have it stroked now and then, and he isn't going to break natural nature taking its course'. Because of this, Pride has a big tendency to be very sweet towards her dear Uncle Abel, following his instructions much more eagerly and trust him with more secrets of hers, him being the first adult she came out to, quickly followed by Cain.

Lucifer: Much like Abel, Pride trusts Lucifer much more than she should, despite all the warnings and supposed awful stories Uncle Cain tells her, Lucifer has a tendency to lightly disregard Pride seeing her as a young child that they need to guide and often finding amusement in the things she says despite her being their sin barer and the face as the ruler of the Fraud ring of Hell.

Freyja: Freyja is easily the love of Pride's life, she gets to see a side of her than no one else does, there isn't a thing in the world Pride wouldn't do for Freyja, and what makes the relationship even better is the attitude is returned something that makes Prise feel extremely special, the two are an amazing balance for each other.

Mina: Adores Mina for the fact that she takes care of Greed, of the sins, he was the one he was most worried about getting a partner and regular life, still, she offers her girl time with her, Freyja, and Gluttony knowing Greed can be a bit much at times.

Backstory

Athena was born in France in 1793, a year before slavery was abolished the first time in France. As a result, she was sold into slavery as a very young child, her first major advocate for this being her father (her mother didn't really care either way, simply pleased that this plan meant she could return to the pampered lifestyle she'd led beforehand). Athena was used and abused in various ways throughout her life time until she was about 8-years-old when two men with horned hair bought her. Athena expected the same routine as all her masters before this, however, the two men (Cain and Abel) had other plans. They got her accustomed to the house, themselves, and the five other children living there, then started the immortality process. Athena was one of the children that was hit with the sickness that came with the immortality done in the ritual way. Once healed up, Athena led a childhood as happy and as indulged as the other sins. When she came out of the closet, she carried our very few romantic endeavors until meeting Freyja. The two dated for a few years before deciding to spend their future together for all eternity, Cain and Abel agreeing to make Freyja immortal as well.

Extra Information

Athena has embraced the mortal emotions to the bare minimum. She wants to be accepted and loved by the mortal population and to understand them on some level, but she also doesn't want to be reliant on their praise and approval.

One of the few kids in the House of Mystery and Secrets who's Adoption day falls close to her actual birthday, her Adoption day being celebrated November 11th.

Has a quirk of messing with the ends of her hair in many emotions (i.e. nervous, shy, distracted, etc.).

Was a thumb sucker when she first arrived to the houses, however, Cain quickly broke the habit with the hot sauce trick, while it broke the thumb sucking she did, notably mess with her hair in more situations as if making up for the habit through that.

The mere suggestion of her causing a public humiliation is enough to send her into a panic attack. Another bad trigger for her is her head going under water.

Despite being the sixth child obtained, Pride is the third oldest child (and same age as Sloth).

Adores her Uncle's haircuts and has often attempts to style hers to have the horn shape just like theirs.

As mentioned, her nickname 'Pride and Joy' was started by Cain and easily picked up by Abel. It started as a poke to her sin title of Pride. Despite the nickname being used in a teasing manner most of the time, she still adores the name because she believes it's hers and hers alone which makes it utterly special to her.

Speaking of names, like many of the children, Pride came not knowing her real name hence the need to pick one for herself outside of Pride. Abel helped her find it and Cain had agreed with great humor seeing as Nyx was also named after a goddess and the delightfully morbid humor of the name of a great goddess being given to a girl who once was but a lowly slave. Abel eventually mended his brother's thinking for the little girl's sake, explaining it was a symbol of her transition from a slave to something destined to do great things.

Her tattoo that sealed in her immortality is on the back of her left shoulder.

Being stung by a bee was the first type of pain she felt after being rescued and settled in the house hence her fear. It also made her dislike bees for a while until bring taught that they took care of the flowers she loved so much.

Pride's powers include having a deep influence on a person's self esteem, she can make someone more confident or making them feel like utter shit, which goes well with her ability to go right for what makes a person insecure.

Eventually has a child with Freyja, a little girl named Juno.

While not having her first name when she first was rescued, she was recognized by her last name (the name she was called when she was called a bane rather than slave, girl, etc). Her last name was Lemarie.

Is a very long, distant relative to another OC of mine and my friend's Oliver and Lucy Quinzel (and Harley Quinn by default of those two), this was through a sister she never knew she had until meeting the two younger blonde's.

While also being Lucifer's sin barer for Pride, Athena also is the ruler of the Fraud ring of hell.

Playlist

Perfect Isn't Easy, Bette Milder, 2:57

Show And Tell, Melanie Martinez, 3:35

Labour, Paris Paloma, 3:57

Candy Store, Jessica Keenan Wynn, Alice Lee, & Elle McLemore, 2:51

What The World Needs, Tiffany Tatreau, 3:03

Picrews made of her

One of my favorite Tik Toks of her (picked officially by the random choice generator out of 3 videos total as I couldn't pick)

Pride first coming to the home, and recieving likely her first compliment.

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crechi · 1 year

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COMFORT CIRCUS

Welcome to the Cauterization Carnival! [Named as such because we'll help you heal, though it'll take a bit of pain.]

Circus Members:

Jack in the Box MALE [Ringmaster][GIANT living jack-in-the-box]

Twisted Pan FEM [Jester][Pan flag themed performer]before you ask, yes, I am]

TeddyBear MALE [Clown]

Humor NB + Comedy MALE [Jesters][Siblings]

Spinning Jenny FEM [Clown][Honk][Many Bows]

Quotes:

Jack: Ah, mercy. The same old song and dance. Unluckily for you, I never learned to sing and have two left feet. [mockery]

Humor: We'll take your birthday suit... AND WE'LL TURN IT INSIDE OUT! [threat]

Comedy: That was the type of performance that gives people second-hand embarrassment. [mockery]

[they are comforting i promise. at least for me.]

Number 1 Rule in the Carnival: No one's allowed to be sad inside the park gates. If you need someone to talk to who won't judge you, or a distraction, that's what the park's bots are for.

If you need to be [alone despite being in an amusement park], have whatever's troubling you to disappear for a bit, or any other impossible request, TeddyBear would be happy to make an illusion for you.

[2 parts Carnival, 1 part Therapy]

Songs: Come Along - Cosmo Sheldrake; Wow! I'm not Crazy - AJR; Greedy - Or3o[Mainly for just Jack]; Sober Up - AJR

Voice Claims:

Humor: Hanako[TBHK]

Comedy: Papyrus

TeddyBear: The Emperor's New Clothes - Panic at The Disco

Spinning Jenny: "I don't like this party." section of ENA REMIX by Còtiles

Twisted Pan: Wonderland - Caravan Palace

Jack: I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters[with distortion effects]

Line that fits them best: "From 12AM until hell, Merry Christmas." - From "Black Christmas" by After the Rain, but replace 'Merry Christmas' with 'Welcome to the Circus/Let the Games Begin'

I made up all of this in two periods flat- Hyperfixation speedrun

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funky-stars-and-roses · 3 years

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yknow what? I've never watched a single video of ENA, but damn, do they have some of the best echolalia enducing lines ever

#shitpost #neurodivergent #actually autistic #echolalia #autism memes #i just. here's a list of quotes from ENA that i cant stop repeating. both mentally and out loud #'it looks like im the best and you're the worst!'#'i wanna go home!'#'i dont like this party...'#'im allergic to people!'#and my all time fav:#'Oh nononononononononononononono no! no no!'#seriously #they live rent free in my brain and i know literally nothing about them

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twistedwonderlandsimps · 3 years

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Hello there!

Welcome to my blog! You can call me Bird! Why? No particular reason. I just like birds. (ﾟヮﾟ)

Anyway, I write Twisted Wonderland AUs for fun and reblog TWST content. Yep, that’s all I have for my introduction. If you have any questions you can send me an ask. I’d be more than happy to answer it! Just don’t be rude, though. (´･ω･`)

Status:

Preparing for the boards...

Quick Tags Navigation:

#twisted wonderland - All my writings, asks, submissions, my art, and other people’s fanart are under this tag.

#reblog - Only reblogs are under this tag.

#ask - Lovely asks from lovely people.

#personal ask - Asks that are personal and has nothing to do with TWST.

#yuunknown - Yuu character ideas with the potential to become full-fledge AUs.

Also, considering checking this blog out if you have time! :D

Masterlist [Last Updated: September 16, 2023]

All Yuu in the AUs are gender neutral. (`･ω･´)

Also...

I don't mind if you make fanfiction of my Yuu AUs ideas! As long as there's credit. Also @ me 'cause I also wanna read what y'all made, nyehe. 🥺

#ENA!yuu

ENA!Yuu

#cryptid!yuu

Cryptid!Yuu Cryptid!Yuu’s Day

#relive!yuu

Relive!Yuu When Trey and Riddle Remember When Cater Remembers

#servant!yuu

Servant!Yuu Artificial!Yuu

Clock Heart!Yuu

#valac!yuu

Valac!Yuu

#older!yuu

Older!Yuu

#frankie!yuu

Frankie!Yuu

#sibling!yuu

Sibling!Yuu [ft. Dorm Leaders] - First Meeting Sibling!Yuu Headcanons Sibling!Yuu Incorrect Quotes Yuu Rosehearts & Grim Yuu Kingscholar being a menace to Leona in Episode 3 Yuu Leech Thoughts on Sibling!Yuu AU Yuu (Al-) Asim and Jamil Small Yuu Hunt Idea

#slasher genre aware!yuu

Slasher Genre Aware!Yuu

PvZ!Yuu

Haruhi!Yuu

#???!yuu

???!Yuu ???!Yuu [ft. Riddle Rosehearts] - The Twins ???!Yuu [ft. The First Years]

#deity!yuu

Deity!Yuu

#dumbass!yuu

Dumbass!Yuu The Purge AU but w/ Dumbass!Yuu

Fix-It!Yuu

Mirror!Yuu

#little misfortune!yuu

Little Misfortune!Yuu

One Day Memory!Yuu

Benrey!Yuu

Addams!Yuu

Shapeshifter!Yuu

Sun/Moon!Yuu

#high fantasy!yuu

high fantasy!yuu technomaniac!yuu

#Mini AUs:

Edna!Yuu Narrator!Yuu Yandere Debuff!Yuu Descendant!Yuu

Most Recent Work/s:

Small Yuu Hunt Idea

Twisted Wonderland AO3 Recommendations:

are we too young for this?

Sometimes when Yuu sleeps they find themself in a different universe.

“Smile Now, Dear. It’s Sunrise.”

In which the Reader is from an alternate timeline of Twisted Wonderland, where there was a great war against Chernabog the Devil. In this slightly different timeline, the Reader finds out that the Great Seven are seen as magnificent, respected wizards by many in the land...and there was no war.

the scent of your heart

Yuu the player tries their best to masquerade as a beta while traversing a school filled with nothing but temperamental alphas and betas. This can only end well.

(This one has poly romance in it. Also, it’s a/b/o but the good kind. SFW, so don’t worry.)

Non-TWST Recommendations:

username not found (quotev) (ao3)

Unexpectedly, your phone has downloaded a messaging app that you have no recollection of ever downloading. When you look through your apps list, it shows that it doesn't take a single byte of memory at all whilst the uninstall button under its name is left greyed out and unusable. Even restarting and manually resetting the blasted thing proves futile as you'll always find the app exactly where you've left it. Without any other option left to try, you decided to leave it alone.

(It good, trust me.)

Donate?

#masterlist #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland au #twst au #twisted wonderland yuu #twst yuu #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #twisted wonderland imagine #twst imagine #twisted wonderland scenario #twst scenario #twisted wonderland scenarios #twst scenarios #twisted wonderland headcanon #twst headcanon #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst headcanons

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ohmewhatsthis · 3 years

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*throws you more OCs I have*

Meet my own "musical" trio of Deltarune OCs!

(Musical in quotes because only one of them actually performs-)

I've taken to calling them the Psychological Fuckery Squad because they're all very capable of fucking with your brain and you will be so confused- Other trio name suggestions are appreciated and may be considered-

First, Debbie! (Art by @keebsu/ @5gigabytes)

Full name is Deborah Halifax, derived from the British radio frequency(?), DAB, which stands for Digital Audio Broadcast

Based on a radio, with some bits of karaoke machine sprinkled in

Generally kind, but gets snippy if you wrong her (especially if you hit on her)

Amy and Effie's older cousin

A model/psychology major in college by day, and an underground pop star by night!

Her stage name is Sirena Forte, a play on her singing VC, Eleanor Forte

Can play a damn good villainess on stage, like a heel in wrestling but for music

Much like a siren, she can hypnotize people with her voice, but only does so in self defense since it's energy intensive and hurts her voice box

No set genre for her music, has a general theme of "pleasant and usually soothing to listen to, but also unsettling"

(Examples: Hole Dwelling, The Cat's Dining Table, Honey I'm Home, the nameless song)

Has a British accent

Speaking voice claim is Junko Enoshima, singing voice claim is Eleanor Forte

Harold shes lesbian (perhaps even for a certain lava lamp speaker by @ananinidraws)

Hates snack cakes. Do not give her a twinkie, she will crush it

My latest SCC OC!

Next, Polly! (Art by @ananinidraws)

Full name is Pollyanna Laiche-Owsley, derived from Poly Lactic Acid, a common 3D printing plastic. Polly should be self explanatory, Laiche is a synonym for milk, and Owsley is derived from blue Owsley, a term for LSD, aka acid.

A 3D printed Virovirokun and Swatchling hybrid kid, made of floating shapes.

Debbie's songwriter and composer

Also childhood friends with her!

You'd be forgiven for thinking she's the creepy, quiet macabre type based on her music, when really she's anything but quiet or creepy

Very much macabre, but doesn't have any ill intent

Has a strange fascination with poisons and historic execution methods

Is immune to most poisons, and at worst, gets a bad headache from them. This is an ability she forgets is not widespread

Causes problems on purpose

Very high energy and difficult to follow if you're not close to her

Has secret boss energy but is just a dumbass

No one's sure how she hasn't been expelled yet

Voice claim is ENA. Which one? Good question

Has met Gaster, proud owner of a Shadow Crystal. They have lunch on Wednesdays

Last but not least, Eri! (Art by @clockworkcat99)

Full name is Erith Logisceles. Erith means flower, but Eri refers to a kind of silk. Logisceles is taken from a computer logic error and Loxosceles, part of the scientific name for the brown recluse spider

Debbie's college roommate, as well as her costumer and choreographer

She's the manifestation of a computer bug, and is based on a spider

Has a venomous bite, though she can control how deadly it is

General effects are hallucinations, loss of judgement, heightened emotions, flesh eating, and pain

Can also spit her venom, which is acidic

Much more of a wallflower than her friends, being quite shy and withdrawn. Also not as actively rebellious as the other two, but supports them anyway

The best cook out of the three, and a master at coffee stuff

Enjoys both watching and making those really aesthetically pleasing home cafe videos

Majors in cosmetology, wants to be a fashion designer

VC (as of now anyway) is the Danganronpa 3: Despair Arc incarnation of Mukuro Ikusaba

#scc oc #deltarune #deltarune OC

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lunasealy · 3 years

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AkiKoha cupcakes day

Fandom: Project Sekai Colorful Stage!

Ship: AkiKoha - Shinonome Akito x Azusawa Kohane

Characters: Azusawa Kohane, Shinonome Akito, Aoyagi Touya, Shiraishi An

Language: English

Words: 1.596

Ena’s birthday was coming closer and for this time Akito decided to be a good brother and not only give her a present, but also to make something to eat. One time while coming home he noticed a cute bakery that made colourful cupcakes, they also had cute decoration and they seemed perfect for Ena.

Akito wasn’t really experienced with baking but he was always ready for a challenge so after finding a good recipe and the ingredients, he asked An if they could borrow the kitchen of her father’s shop when it was closed and fortunately they got the permission.

“Perfect now we start! But why you’re the only one here?” Akito was kind of surprised to see just Kohane there with him “An is with Aoyagi-kun in the other room. Her father left us the kitchen in exchange of them re-organizing some old vinyls… An said that since Aoyagi-kun seems so serious he would be more of help to her, while I would be more helpful to you in the kitchen. I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable Shinonome-kun…”

“Ah, I kinda lost that part… I’m not uncomfortable, sorry for giving that impression. Did you bake before?”

“Some cakes with my mum, nothing too difficult… But I’m sure that we will be able to make great cupcakes for your sister!”

“Not just ‘great’. They will be ‘perfect’!” he said that with a bit too much seriously, noticing how Kohane seemed a bit worried he smiled a bit “Don’t make that face, I don’t want to pressure you. So… We gotta start from the base, right?”

“Yes… I think we have to start with the eggs and sugar, right?”

“Exactly, let’s put everything in this bowl and then… Can you pass me the electric whisk?” he asked while opening one by one the eggs.

“Here it is. I’ll start to weight the flour…” Kohane didn’t want to make any mistake so she carefully put the flour on the kitchen scale with a spoon, it had to be perfect!

After they carefully put everything into the bowl the base for the cupcakes started to have the perfect texture, Kohane took out the stamps for muffins and Akito tried his best to put the right amount of paste into each stamp, then they put the whole baking tray into the oven.

“Now we gotta wait for 20 minutes, right? Maybe we can start with the butter cream.” said Akito looking right into the oven because he wanted to be sure that the cupcakes grew.

“Yes, I think it’s a good idea! Maybe while you do the syrup I’ll start with the butter and sugar?” asked Kohane taking the electric whisk to get started.

“Yes, I don’t want you to get burned so I’ll do the syrup. Here’s the butter and the sugar… This bowl should be big enough.”

“Thank you Shinonome-kun. Now…” Kohane tried to start slowly since she didn’t want to make a disaster, she thought the butter was warm enough so she raised the speed a bit “What…? Ah, okay okay, maybe it was too much!”

“What’s… Ahahah.” Akito couldn’t help but laugh seeing the poor Kohane with some butter on her face.

“Ugh, I think the speed was still a bit too high…”

“I’m almost finished with the syrup, you want some help?”

“No, no, I’m fine Shinonome-kun! I want to be of help!”

“Okay then… But first maybe clean yourself.” Akito leaned in with a tissue and brushed the top of her nose.

“Ah… I… Didn’t notice, thank you, Shinonome-kun.” Kohane was a bit flustered and to her credit Akito regretted what he did a second later because he could feel his cheeks getting red too.

“You’re welcome… I’ll go look at the syrup, I think it’s almost ready.”

“Yes, we have to be careful…!”

They both returned to work and then while Akito was pouring the syrup in the bowl Kohane mashed everything with the electric whisk until the texture was smooth enough.

The timer of the oven went off too and the base of the cupcakes was ready: time to decorate!

“So, we probably should start dividing the butter cream into section to use the colouring, where do you want to start?” asked Kohane ready to get more bowls.

“I think we could make it in 3 sections: pink, blue and yellow. Pink for the bunnies, blue for the cats and yellow for the chicks.” Akito was looking at his phone to see any examples of how do do that “Then for the ears and faces we could use those small candies, right?”

“Yes, I think it’s a good idea! I’ll start pouring the colouring then!”

“Thanks, if it’s not a bother can you also do the decorations with the candies? Your hands are smaller than mine and you seem more delicate… I think you would do a better job. I will do the work with the sac à poche.”

“No bother at all! I’ll do my best to make them the cutest bunnies, cats and chicks!”

Akito smiled while looking at her, she was so determinate to make a good job even though it was just a small present for someone she didn’t even know. He couldn’t make a mistake after all the effort Kohane put, so after the butter cream was ready he started the work with the sac à poche and later he just went on the side to let Kohane do her work with the candies. She was so serious and concentrated, Akito didn’t even notice how much he was enchanted until he heard “Finish!” and he somehow returned to his normal self.

“Wow… They’re relly cute! Kohane your hands are really magical.”

“Thank you Shinonome-kun… I’m glad you like them.” to say that she was smiling brighter than a star it was an understatement, she was so happy that Akito liked the result!

“How about we try one? Then we take one for An and Touya too.”

“Yes, I think the cat would be perfect for Aoyagi-kun…”

“The bunny is perfect for you. We’ll do that.” Akito took one ready to cut it in half “Ugh, I was too rough… I hope the cream will not fall, take it fast.”

“Yes! Let’s try…”

They gave a bite and in chorus said “Delicious!!”

“Yes, that’s how I wanted them! Ena will be happy.” said Akito with a big smile.

“I’m happy that the result was perfect as we said! Ah, Shinonome-kun, this time you’re the one that is dirty. Take a tissue.” she gave him one but was a bit confused at his face “There’s something wrong?”

“Kohane… You’re also dirty again on your nose!”

“What? I can’t believe I’m so clumsy…!”

Akito again cleaned her nose, this time also laughing a bit “There, it’s okay now! Thank you for the help, Kohane.”

“Thank you too, Shinonome-kun. I’m happy that I was able to help you, I hope your sister will also like the cupcakes.”

“She better do or I’ll eat them all!”

They both laughed at that sentence and then started to clean the kitchen as well since they were finished, on contrast An and Touya were still busy.

“How is it possible you’re not finished?” asked Akito a bit surprised.

“Ugh, there’s so much dust! But wait, you left some cupcakes for us?!” An hugged Kohane right away “How sweet of you!! I’ll take the chick, I feel kinda bad to eat it because it’s so cute!”

“They really are cute… I think your sister will like them. Thank you for leaving one for me too.” said Touya grabbing the cat one.ù

“They’re also super tasty! My Kohane can do really anything, right?”

“I didn’t do everything, I was just helping Shinonome-kun!”

“Exactly, just admit you like something I cooked, it’s easy!” Akito had a smug smile on his face, knowing that she would’ve never admitted that.

“No way! I’m sure it’s all thanks to Kohane’s influence that I like them. Now, can you guys also help us?? Pretty please??”

“I guess I have no choice since you left me the kitchen… Come on, let’s go back to work.” Akito sat down and for another 2 hours they were busy organizing the vinyls, An’s dad had a really big collection!

That evening Akito gave Ena her present and the cupcakes, fortunately she loved them and when he logged into Instagram that night he saw her stories with the cute cupcakes and also a post on her profile. Maybe despite her grumpy face she actually liked them but was too difficult to admit that.

Not that he was that different from her, before sleeping he messaged with Kohane to thank her again for the help and he couldn’t help but remember how passionate she was with the decorations, but also a bit clumsy with the electric whips.

“Kohane… Is kinda cute…” he whispered by himself but when he realized what he said he just decided to put the phone away and throw his face on the pillow, what the hell he was saying?!

The phone made sound and he rolled over to look at the message.

“Then today will finish with a happy ending^^ I’ll see you tomorrow, good night Shinonome-kun!”

“…” He felt really stupid for taking that much time to reply with a simple “Good night, Kohane.” and while he was sure to have sweet dreams, he wasn’t so sure about how he felt with having that much Kohane on his mind, or maybe he knew since he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

Notes

Another small scene I had in mind after I read a quote from a yume account on Twitter: “Imagine decorating cupcakes with your comfort character”. Idk I felt like it was a cute idea for them, probably they’re a bit ooc but tbh sometimes I like to write just for my own and this is the case.

#akikoha #shinonome akito #azusawa kohane #project sekai colorful stage #akito shinonome #kohane azusawa #akikoha_lunasealy #prsk_lunasealy

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kristalpepsi · 4 years

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Temptation Stairway Thoughts™ + Theory Discussion

TW: blood + Death mentions, Implied (forced/pushed) integration (systems), racism (against asians), unreality stuff bc the show is Like That, Trauma causd by therapy

TL;DR = I mainly talk about implied integration, n as some1 in a system tht! mkes me uncomfy! I mainly will talk abt wht I’m calling the multi-ena theory (n anothr theory ill call the Multiple/Multi-Enaverse Theory) thts been popping up n disccng how thts kind of the bggst thng keepng me on board! I won’t LIE I might b a little biased bc I rlly do like thise show b I am NOT blind so I will try 2 address som things. I also talk alot abt the Shepard n Phindol bc I love themb so much they make me very heart Big.

DISCLAIMERS:

Obviously Joel G Highkey/definitely/most probbly did not intend 4 any of thise, but media is very complic8d so u cn end up accidntlly making problmtc things or implyng not great things

I hav a typing quirkkkk so if u cant understand my post I rlly dont blame u! I’m sorry how I type is Incomprehensible™

Not an angry post, more like my brain is holding me host-ge until i talk abt everyth dskfjhd!!

DO NOT Send anyone in thise post hate or angry asks/messages or perish by my sword

OK so this recnt episde has me w vry vry mixd feelngs!!! I’m both happy n exctd! b litrlly 2 things is whts bothrng me. While I CLD jst say :I Am Lookng Away: i rlly do need 2 write it down. Under a Read-more bc im secure SKSJ

Part 0: I’m uncomfortable help

The Section wher i tlk abt n bring up othr ppl’s concerns

So fr most if nt all the frnds I hav who also wtch Ena ALSO has a vry “vr vry mixd feelngs now tht I’ve seen the episde!!” mood twrds Temptation Stairway! It’s 4 a bunch of rsns, like thise post (tw racism) mde by a frnd whch brings up a good point

Part 1: The Actual Intro

Episode 1 = Auction day (AD) Episode 2 = Extinction Party (EP) Episode 3 = Tempation Stairway (TS)

Who is Ena

Ena can b describd as an "abstract girl split in half, w 1 blue side n the other is her yellow side!" Each side (emotion/mood, 2 b specific) seems 2 hav their own voic actor credited along with seper8 credits 4 each mood! So far the canon sides r Ena (happy), Ena (sad), n Ena (drunk)! They seem 2 act accordingly: Happy acts happy n optimistc, Sad acts sad n especlly depressd, n Drunk acts confused n dizzy [In the Credits, it would look like thise: Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman, (drunk) Ena by Sam Meza

4 Episodes 1-2, thy follow thise pattern exctly! So we cn expect wht 2 see from them, n each voice actor is creditd accordngly as seper8 b all a part of Ena

On epside 3, Ena is seen as actng diffrnt!! She's suddnly less predictabl! I say thise bc Suddenly, her voic Actors r not stuck 2 Only their sides. Thise is also emphasized when looking at the credit list! No longer is it "Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman" it's now jst "ENA by Gabe V. and Lizzie Freeman"

Happy's voic can sound STRESSED n sad, Happy can tlk w Blue's side in mor control n Sad's voic can sound Really happy n optimistic. Somth's Diffrnt n Not The Same

Temptation Stairway Summary

Skipping 2 my point, The summary of the episode Temptation stairway is tht Moony and Ena have a bet 2 race 2 the Great Runas! The Great Runas, can grnt u any wish accordng 2 Moony n som of those Ena passes by on the wy. The wager, is tht "whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser" (yes it’s phrased like that) As Ena journeys thru, The DIFFERENCES between Ena Temptation Stairway and Ena Extinction Party n Below, is mor obvious as the epsde progrsses, even 2 wher Happy's voic actor is the 1 screamng in agony 2 jst get murdered already. The Episode ends w Moony beatng Ena (but it's 100% possibl it can be the other way arnd, that ENA Beat Moony, b thats somth I'll discuss in a bit L8r). Moony splits in half, revealing that according 2 her, "she wished 2 be skinny" n a humanoid coms out of her previous form. As 4 Ena, Her blue side slowly dispprs n its not answrd why.

Theories so far, are:

Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy (or 4 her sad/blu side 2 go awy. 4 wht reason can b eithr wholsom or 2 Moony's advntge [like so she "doesnt have 2 deal w Sad Ena"]) - b if Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy/b rid of her sad side, tht wld mean perhaps she lied about wishing 2 be skinny (her new humanoid form may be how she is "paying her debt 2 the loser"). Unless the Runas can grant u more than 1 wish.

Ena ws the 1 who wished her blu side awy, whch is a little depressng tbh

If both the above r tru, it may b possibl bc it wsnt clarified (afaik) tht the great runas can only grant ONE person a wish (or more). I think we only get tht implica8ion bc we see 1 (open) door while in the distance, ther r more doors tht look like their eyes r closed. We hav 2 remembr Moony said "whoever makes their wish 1st whch means Ena n Moony can totlly mke wishes @ the sme time

Somhow, turning pure yellow/only happy is how Moony is payng her debt 2 Ena(??) (opposite 2 the 1st theory)

OR If Ena won the race, it can even b possibl 2 consider tht Ena did not make ANY wish, n her debt 2 pay 2 Moony is her sad/blue side removed (I do not subscribe 2 thise)

This info that was brought up 2 me is high evidenc that Moony won the race, n it explains how Moony surprises Ena whn Ena arrives. “I’m The Best and you’re the worst! I wonder who got the hair chest?” said by Ena, is a direct reference 2 a phrase usd by kids when they lose that goes “First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest.”

“Whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser.“ Might be phrased tht way as a weird way 2 pay 4 ur greed? (Last minute addition from me since some people wld think this is quoted wrong in and outside of the youtube comments)

i'm p sure ther may even b mor theories b i dont rmmbr them OOPS

Part 2: The Implied Integration Part AKA: How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode

TW: Final fusion discussion, medical trauma (Is that the right word)

Disclaimer: This is 100% unintended by Joel G. That’s y the Alternative title 2 thise part is “How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode”

2 GET IN2 the whole Implied Integr8ion part of my Essay™ I hav a theory calld system ena or sys!ena! (Check out my #system ena tag. This is in chronologicl order!) While thers no canon explan8ion 4 how Ena herslf is how she is, she mkes very intrstng n almst good accdntl Sys Represent8ion 2 me! They even show cofronting rlly well! I headcanon Ena as a system bc of the accidentl system!rep, but it explains 2 me y n how she switches! she has triggers 4 when she switchs 2 a diffrnt side, etc!

Ther hav been theories about Temptation Stairway in the past (before the episode cme out) wher ppl try 2 explain y the trailer Looks Like Tht. Besides theorizing abt the introduction of a new forme (I'm ok w just calling it Scared/Anxiety 4 now until 4rthr notic), 1 of the theories ive seen is tht Temptation Stairway's new introduced forme is due 2 being something akin 2 being "integr8d" (probably by force, accordin 2 the OP) (in other words, all her sides merge in2 one) n Ena being devast8td abt it

While tht theory is now DEBUNKED, bc the new forme clearly did not come out bc of being One Single Mind now, the "integr8ion" part of tht theory is unfortun8ly a littl tru

What is Integr8ion?

Integr8ion is not inherently a bad thing. In systems, ther are 2 definitions: "the breaking down of barriers 2 form healthy multiplicity, n then healthy communic8ion n less amnesiac barriers" and the othr, n mor FAMOUS definition bc its the oldest 1, is "final fusion"

Fnal Fusion is when all the members "fuse/merge" 2gether until ther is 1 single mind left. While not necssrlly a bad thng, final fusion n ther4 "integr8ion" is a scry thing 4 a lot of systems 2 talk abt, because in the history of Treatment, Final fusion is uslly somthng forcd on2 systems 4 the longest time :^(

Very valid 2 hav final fusion as a goal, b showng it as a desire n end goal is uslly seen as a sad n even scry thing 2 promote accdntly or not in media, bc of the previous traumas in the medicl/therapy world of system treatment etc

What's Worse. is tht if we apply the Ending 2 Temptation Stairway to the System!Ena Theory, thts wht hurts!!!

Scrolling back up 2 the possibl theories of who won the race and wht happened aftr, Either Moony or Ena wishing 4 the blue side/Sad Ena 2 go awy is rlly painful!

B I'll be honest, thts a RLLY biased n personal opinion i hav!! I've seen ppl think its rlly wholsom altho a bit Sad, tht the blue side disappears. I've seen ppl think its rlly sweet esp if it was Moony who mde tht wish

BSCLLY If I were to hold on2 the System!Ena headcanon while watchng the Temptation Stairway episode, its Hurtful, not rlly bc of the implied Integr8ion of Sides, but bc most top theories r that the blue side disappeard on Purpose either from Moony or Ena wishing her away or involvng the debt! It's like asking 4 ur sibling irl 2 Disappear and cease 2 exist. it's scary n rlly sad esp whn the audienc can c tht Sad, Happy, n Drunk cn almst b seen as their own persons n mite even b abl 2 interact w each othr (as seen by the many fanart of Happy n Sad having their own seper8 forms)

Ok so Now tht ive described my intro n Main Beef w the Episode, here's a theory I cn rlly get behind tht dsnt mke me wnna cry behind a Denny's. Prsnlly it's a rlly relievng theory even if it mite b hard 2 take in

Ther's no name 4 it, som call it the Enaverse, b just so it dsnt get confusd w other definitions (like, u wldnt call it the Marvel Cinematic Universe theory, the MCU is jst wht it is) I'm gnna call it the Multi-Ena theory! Bsclly, there's mor than 1 Ena in thise universe. But I'll get in2 a sub/partner theory tht is also possibl: ther is mor than 1 enaverse n somhow u may or may not b abl 2 travel between them

Part 3: The Multi-Ena theory

Something interesting I noticed was that the shepherds says “another ENA troublemaker?” Which definitely means more than one ENA/person has been there before.

(I blockd out the rest of the commnt not bc it ws bad, b i wantd 2 focus on this part of the commnt, but thise commnt will come up again L8r)

Not connected 2 System!Ena or the integr8ion issue I mentioned earlier, the multi-ena theory seems 2 b 1 of the top suggstd theories bc of many thngs! Bsclly n in short, thise theory believs tht in the series (or Enaverse), ther is multipl ena's! So fr i havent seen a post tht RLLY went in2 depth on thise so here is my attempt!

Evidence:

(See: above explanation on how the voic actors r credited 4 their roles individlly 2 explain my system!ena theory/intro) In episodes 1-2, Ena's diffrnt emotions/sides r creditd individually! In Temptation Stairway, Gabe n Lizzie Freeman r all creditd undr the sme nme, just as "Ena" (mening thise is a completely different Ena from the past)

Again, as said in my summry 4 Tempt8ion Stairway, thise Ena acts compltly diffrnt n is not follwng the sme "pattern" or rules as Ena did in Episodes 1-2! (Read above in my summary section) Either ther r stuff we've missd between Extinction Party n Temptation Stairway, or thise is a diffrnt Ena entirely. I'd hav 2 sy prsnlly tht I'm leanng 2wrds the latter bc of how the VA's are crdtd. but if ur not convinced, let me continu:

When we meet the Shepard in 7:52 of the episode, they say (verbatim) "Arghh... Another ENA trouble maker." which implies there r more than 1 Ena's

9:08 - 9:19 when Ena jumps in2 the "Holy Code" where we head undrwtr in2 a sea of diffrnt doors, we see floating Ena models (n the comment section seems 2 gravit8 2 callng them "dead bodies") (Honorary mention: You'll notic they glitch in2 Mannequins if u pay attention 2 them). This piec of info is Direct Evidence 2 the multi-ena theory, bc ther r Explicitly mor thn 1 ena's on screen! wht's concernng n unanswrd tho, is y do they glitch in2 mannequins? Does tht mean all the mannequins we sw on screen in the begnng of the video (n onwards) were all previously an Ena? Is it only an Ena tht can transform in2 a mannequin or cn othr chrctrs also become mannequins?

Not the strongst evidenc b i'll input it anywy: Ena's Action boxes (Like when she receivs or gives items) spell her nme her as ƎNA (with a backwrds E). The thing abt thise 1 is tht we can't compare it with Auction Day n Extinction Part bc they don't have any action boxes. BUT What we CAN compare is how she is spelled in the dialogue boxes of those speakng in diffrnt languages AND in the Credits! In Episodes 1-2, She's Spelled as Ena with this captialis8ion. In Temptation Stairway the dialogue and credits consitntly spell her as ENA in all caps. May or may not allude 2 her being diffrnt, b i will admit this is the most Strechiest piec of evidnc. Tru or not, I'd like 2 refer 2 Tempt8ion Stairway ena as TS!Ena or ƎNA, prsnlly 2 differenti8 her frm the othr episodes

Pronounci8ion: BUT 2 build on the above evidence, In the beginning of the episode, Moony DOES pronounc Ena's name in different wys a lot, startng w I-NA (ai-na), ENA (ehna), n finally JENA. And this isnt new! She’s been doing it sinc Auction Day (ee-nah/ii-na) n Extinction Party (ay-nah). Thise may or my not sggst that perhaps Moony's inconsistancy is bc these othr pronunci8ions or names cld b of other ena's she's met in the past w similr or diffrnt preferences! I’d say because of her constant switchng in the beginning of Temptation Stairway, it would lean 2wards that she may know different Ena’s @ once. Otherwise, c the Multi-Enaverse theory below

Note: Every othr charctr besides Moony (So far; Merci and the Shepard) Pronounces Ena as ehna (or ehna) so it might be that perhaps Eh-na is the universal way of pronouncng Ena?

Conlusions/thghts on this theory: I prsnlly like thise a lot!! It makes Enasonas Very Possible, b also tht any interpret8ion of Ena cn b corrct or possibl! It knda saddens me tho bc im not rlly sure if we'll ever return 2 the Ena we're used 2, I wldnt rlly want 2 b stuck w/o Sad bc I thnk her role is rlly neat n can b importnt, b im biasd. I also rlly subscribe 2 thise theory bc it means whtvr happend 2 TS!Ena ds not hav 2 be permanent in the long run; Again litrlly the only thng keepng me from gettng supr upset abt the ending of Temptation Stairway, is tht the prev ena’s r not the sme n wld possibly not do thise, or tht ther r othr ena’s out ther besides THISE episod 1, who wld nvr do tht, etc

Part 4: The Multiple Enaverses/Multi-Enaverse Theory AKA The Alternative In Defense of Moony Mispronouncing Ena’s name over and over

An alterntve 2 the Multi-Ena theory, is tht there is MORE thn 1 Enaverse! So bsclly, a multiverse theory. Primarily thise my explain Not jst Ena's sudden Shift in how diffrnt she is in thise episode b may also explain how Diffrnt Moony is actng in thise episode 2. While thise isnt the top theory i prsnlly subscribe 2 (sinc ther isnt explicit evidence besides it bein an explan8ion 4 Moony n Ena's weird/diffrnt behavior), it DOES open a lot of doors 2 intrstng things 2 thnk abt!

Bsclly Moony keeps mispronouncing Ena’s name a lot (in Tempation Stairway) n its Really Rude, esp consdrng she’s always said it properly (As in @ least 1nce in an episode n not switchng multiple times) b4! so 2 Explain her Sudden change in behavior, this is actlly a Different Moony, besides a different Ena. this is a whole different universe/timeline!

LIKE If not multiple Ena's, The different Loca8ions in Ena cn probbly b traversible across dimensions! The Holy Code may b the door 2 diffrnt enaverses. The Shepard's garden cld b an interdimensionl place tht is singular n deals w diffrnt beings passing thru! While i dnt hav mch 2 sy on thise, its RLLY Interestng 2 thnk abt

Like the Multi-Ena theory, thise also opens the doors 2 enasonas being vry possibl :^) Som ppl's evidences r all involvng Moony besides how Ena's rlly diffrnt

Moony can skateboard??

Moony's square shape hole can shrink 2 hold an item

while not strong ATM or frm wht i cn see, its still very inch restng!!! Tho I would sy it is VERY on par w the Multi-Ena theory anyway

Part 5: Honorary Mentions: Mini Theories

The Great Runas is actlly a play on the "Run As" Command! I'm not very Smart engh 2 break thise down vry well, b bsclly w all the allusion 2 "codes" n the Blood ID looking like a Chip, The Great Runas being abl 2 grant u wishes makes a lot of sense! This ws brought up 2 me from a friend (@ambercard)!

like its a command line. so then the great runas being able to grant wishes makes sense if its digital world like all the code stuff says Allows a user to run specific tools and programs with different permissions than the user's current logon provides.

Runas is a command-line tool that is built into Windows Vista. To use runas at the command line, open a command prompt, type runas with the appropriate parameters, and then press ENTER.

In the user interface for Windows Vista, the Run as… command has been changed to Run as administrator. However, you should rarely have to use the Run as administrator command because Windows Vista will automatically prompt you for an administrator password when it is needed.

and my friend who i was talking to said that probably explains what the password was for and the blood id being a login or something?

its possible using the blood id akin to using the run as administrator command since idk their name but one of the people ena met said the blood id didnt seem like her which is like. if she isnt administrator then it would make sense that using that command wouldnt match who she is

My response:

man do u realiz Ena uslly does not hav the corrct passwrd/admin privileges all the tme? Bc the guardian entity in extinction party askd her 4 1 b i guess it ws so Low Game tht it wsnt supr necsrry in the end

The Enaverse is all a computer code of some sort- most probbaly a game! AKA: This is a digital world

... If we were too treat this world as a video game this would make more sense since different play through bus and all that. Oh god this feels like a fnaf situation, taking a video that just wants to be a video and turning it into a big serious thing

Going with the whole ‘there are multiple enas representing the player’ theory, perhaps this ENA realized that she’s in a video game and isn’t taking it too well? But the game is kind of glitching out because of it.

Honorable Mentions: Random Info + Unanswered Questions

Ena seems self-aware of smth! (10:24 Ena screams "YOU'RE ALL LIVING A LIE!") May help the Run as command idea n the video game/digital reality idea! If not a video gme, they sure r Somewhere

What does the Great Runas look like?? is it the door? is ther mor thn 1 Runas?

What is Mariya n Gabo's Job? R they just like the Guardian Entity in Extinction Party but are assignd 2 this part/location of where they are?

In 6:30, wht does Ulysses mean by "Desires r never fulfilled nor quenched"? "You Will fail like the rest of them" Is he referring 2 the other Ena's that's passed by? who else have come n failed?

This Post Also brings up som good points I hvnt noticd yet!

Thise comment pretty much says everythng:

Standout things from this animation:

-This Ena switches between a male & female voice at seemingly random instead Happy speaking with a male voice and Sad speaking with a Sad voice. The text boxes noticeably refer to this Ena with a reversed E, and The Shepard says "Another Ena troublemaker", implying that there are multiple Enas. We also see some Ena corpses flickering into the mannequin bodies at one point. Third, at the end we see Ena's sad half turn from blue to yellow over the course of Ena & Moony's conversation. My personal theory is that this Ena is possibly 'broken' in some manner. -Moony either doesn't care or dosen't realize that Ena's voices aren't matching the personalities anymore. -The grey personality appears to come out when Ena gets too stressed out. Notably the transformation involves the happy half turning into static and exploding out, erasing Ena's face in the process. It also appears that some physical trauma (in this case, Brick Frog kicking Ena) is necessary to exit the grey personality, unlike the previously seen 'blackout' personalities which can possibly be switched by the other personality exerting themselves (in the auction episode, Ena enters her sad blackout/depressed personality, then switches to Happy!Ena, who apologizes to Moony about her depressed outburst). -Moony's hole is capable of closing to hold things, and she also knows how to skateboard. -Judging by Ena's reaction, Moony's transformation at the end is weird even by this universe's standards.

aaaand thats all 4 now! I really hope thats all my brain can think of skjsdhfsdfkh

Feel free 2 send me asks abt Ena theories n stuff! While this is a Comprehensiv post, it’s definitely mor focused on the Multi-Ena theory n my thghts on the episode whn it comes 2 how it affects the System Ena theory. I’m open 2 questions!!

Last Edit: Feb 19 2021 (GMT +8)

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writersplight · 3 years

Text

A COMPARISON

AN: I feel I should include a content warning of some kind. There's nothing explicitly done wrong or said, but there is this hint at past bad sex experiences, and well as vague sex talk. ——— When Erwin talks, even if it’s directed at her, his words are chosen precisely. He could be talking to anyone really, and his words float through her like she’s air. It was never full conversations, just words floating from his mouth to her ears, with flat responses. There are hidden messages behind his words, and it takes learning how to decipher him to figure it out. Yet, they are forced and hollow. When Onyankopon talks, it's engaging. He’s fully listening to whatever she has to say, even if it’s nonsense, with questions and the perfect amount of eye contact. In return, she listens to all his facts about airplanes and zeppelins he has to offer. How can she not? His smile is so warm and inviting, she can’t help but sit down with a kettle of tea and hear him explain the mechanics of it all.

When Erwin would touch her, it would be quick, with specific purpose, and fleeting. Even when there were no meetings, no eyes on them except for the moon—completely devoid of life and love. It had to be initiated by him, whenever it was convenient for him. She’d be putty in his hands, though, soaking up every second. It was rare he had any semblance of “vulnerability” with her. Every touch was over way too soon, leaving her with an emptiness to deal with. She always pushed it down, making excuse after excuse for him. With Onyankopon, he listens. His touches are experimental, and he never does anything without asking. The first time they slept together, he reassured her that she wasn’t there for a quick, meaningless fuck. He just thought they should share a bed—he made some comment about how Ena mentioned cuddling earlier in the evening, but she refuses to acknowledge that as her full offer. That isn’t to mention the first time they had sex. She didn’t know the bedroom could be so. . . Satisfying. She was brought up on the idea that her life should be dedicated to pleasing a man in one way or another. The idea of actually living outside of that is a concept she only dreamt of when she ran away from home at the naive age of seventeen. Now, at almost thirty-nine years old, she’s faced with what she wants. And Ena’s never been so confused. At this point, her life is so much different than it was when she joined the Survey Corps at twenty-one. She had options beyond “kill the enemy and live another day”. Beyond “constantly prove how worthy you are”. Everything she wanted, and yet everything was so confusing. She kept expecting Onyankopon to snap and become impatient with her, or to up and leave altogether. But he didn’t. And he hasn’t. There’s no ultimatum with him. It’s always a fair and just compromise. At this point, laying awake at night, listening to him breathing, she realized how unfair it was to compare Erwin to Onyankopon. No one could compare to the openness he willingly shares with Ena. He’ll talk with her for hours about feelings and coping mechanisms, and if he does manage to step over a boundary, he sets time aside to fully hear her side, and to apologize. Rolling onto her side, Ena remembers the first time she initiated that she wanted to have sex with Onyankopon. She was really nervous “taking the lead”, but he was into it. He’s a hell of a listener, that’s for sure. It was a new territory for her, and he was always asking questions and for consent. There was a moment when she became hyper-aware of her surroundings, causing her to become still. That familiar stillness, the lifeless corpse of herself that was waiting for life to be pumped into it. She hated it. Suddenly, the pleasure was stimulating in all the wrong ways, and there was too much air in her lungs and not enough. “Is this—” “God, please stop!” His movements stopped immediately, concerned. She’s never shouted like that. She was never shaking like that. Or still. He pulls out, and gives her space. When Ena sits up, the room seems to turn with her in the middle. She didn’t know when Onyankopon left, or how the water got in her hands, or why she was crying so hard. She didn’t do anything wrong, but she held the guilt of every quiet woman in her bloodline. Onyankopon didn’t do anything wrong, but he did feel bad for not noticing sooner. Like most things in her life, her symptoms were quiet. They crept up on her, and she didn’t blame him. He put an arm under her, with permission, to help her sit up. He put a blanket around her. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” she whispers, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief that was handed to her. “Did I hurt you in any way?” “What? Of course not! You’re so good to me, and you know what you're doing, I just—” Ena pauses, and her eyes drop to her hands because telling Onyankopon about her previous relationship was always so hard. She always felt bad for wanting better, due to the circumstances she was faced with before on the island. She made sure to clarify Erwin never

intentionally hurt her, and meant his best. Even still, he would focus on his own pleasure, and believe that if he was feeling good, so was Ena. Not true, but she restated that he didn't know, and she couldn't help because she didn't know how to please herself. Onyankopon nodded along, sipping his own glass of water. He didn't villainize her past "boyfriend"—in quotes because they were together, but they weren't able to slap an official label on it. Even still, he had to wonder why she put up with him for so long. “I don’t know why,” she admits quietly, and he realized he asked that out loud. He began to apologize, but she assured him there was no need. After all, she was beginning to wonder about herself. “I used to say ‘because I love him’, right? But now that I have freedom right now. . . I’m sure it was a form of love, but it’s nothing like what we have. I just feel bad for constantly bringing him up, Onyankopon. He’s just the only frame of reference I have.” “And maybe an unintentional source of trauma?” he wondered, and Ena shrugged. She knew that was right, but it was a lot to admit. She didn’t want to admit that about her dead boyfriend. “It seems to me that he’s the reason you’re hesitant all the time. I don’t mind it, you're open to talking through your problems, but I’m concerned as to why he’s still got a death grip on your decisions. . . No pun intended, I promise!” He sees how her face twists up with this visible guilt. He puts a hand on her thigh. “I could be in the wrong, it’s okay to tell me that—” “I know, but I don’t think you’re wrong. But I don’t want to complain about the life I had in Paradis. It feels. . . Wrong,” she finally looks back at him. Even in a moment like this, he was so goddamn pretty. “You can still love someone even though they’ve traumatized you. It’s nuanced, Ena. For a situation as complicated as yours, there will always be nuance.” He explains. “Yeah?” she turns to face her lover with a nervous smile. “So you’re not upset with me that I yelled at you to stop?” “Of course not! I could never be mad at that. I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.” She didn’t hold him in contempt, and told him that. She was just overstimulated in all the wrong ways. It happens sometimes. When he suggested relaxing for the rest of the night, she agreed. It started with a shower, where Onyankopon cleaned her hair so nicely. She used her lavender soap that he buys for her to wash his body, loving the idea that he’ll smell like her when he’s out and about in the morning getting groceries. Then he brewed some fancy tea blend bought from Levi’s shop, and they read some book Armin Arlert published, with in depth illustrations and diagrams by Jean Kirschtein. They go on explorations of other countries, studying various plant life and bugs. Weird, considering the ocean is bigger and far more interesting, but it was a good read nonetheless. And Ena totally didn’t slip and nearly cracked her head open when she stepped out of the shower. Nope. Onyankopon catching her and holding her close was merely him showing affection, and not caused by her slipping. It totally was, she’s just embarrassed. Months later, now, she rolls over to face him. He’s so sweet and patient with her. Not to say she isn’t patient with him, it’s just the first time that it isn’t stressful. Ena almost feels like she doesn’t deserve him. He understands her in a way that she’s never known—not to mention he can cook, clean, and understands that sometimes people just want alone time. Oh, and he loves taste-testing her experimental meals. As well as taking her flying on whatever complicatedly named airship he loves. And the way they pick each other’s brains. . . It’s sort of unfair to compare Erwin Smith to her current boyfriend. She can’t help it, she was raised in a society where comparing one another was supposed to be inspiration. Ena never felt inspired by having her hair, her eyes, her nose, her body, or her strength compared to someone else. It felt like an insult above all else. She knew, however, that Erwin liked

that challenge of trying to “best” someone, and that probably hasn’t changed since he died. Ena was okay with that.

#fanfic writeblr #aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #snk #enawin #erwin smith #onyankopon #oc: p. ena bristol #enakopon #writeblr #my works.mp3

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kristheartist · 3 years

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Incorrect quotes from incorrect quotes generator

Fudo, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Takane, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Akari, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!

Akio, trembling: What are we playing???

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Azumi: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

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Yogi: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Hiro: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents

Yogi: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Hikaru: Actually I did the math, Hiro would have $225, not $0.15.

Hiro: Fam I’m right here....

Akari: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Yogi: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Akari: Sorry I only have a dollar

Yogi: :(

Hikaru: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Hiro would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Akari: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Hikaru: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Obelix: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Hikaru: Apply juice to what

Obelix: Directly to the forehead

Hiro: Great chat everyone

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Obelix: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Ivan: You’re a hazard to society

Daiyu: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

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Akio: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

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Obelix: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

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Takane: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!

Akari: Mind your language!

Takane: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Akari:

Takane: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

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Eiko: You know how we roll.

Niko: And we're not talking about that time we fell into a pile of dung at the foot of a hill.

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Kaori: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Henry: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Kaori: Yes!

Fudo: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you

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Azumi: This is such a bad idea.

Ena: Then why are you coming along?

Azumi: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

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enaasteria · 6 years

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Red! 😭 I don't even have the right words (my English major self is weeping T_T). It's sensuous, exquisite, heartbreaking, so very decadent, and the lines keep echoing in the back of my head even when I'm done reading it. I could picture marbled halls, sanguine gowns, Sehun's sculpted, stoic face, his eyebrows knotting into worry every now and then, and I could feel the air thick with their repressed intimacy. Red was such an experience. Thank you, Ena. My favourite Sehun fic is finally here. 🌹

Ahhh!! Thank you so much. I really love Red. Like really love---some days I love it more than Apartment (only because I actually finished writing it hahaha) And omg you’re an English major reading my subpar fics T_____T WHAT IS THIS. //wheezes + gasps + dies under a ditch// But can I say---I really love how you described Red? Like it’s literally the best thing I’ve read all day. DECADENT. DECADENT. AND U USED ONE OF MY FAVORITE WORDS OF ALL TIME. SANGUINE (which is written in my notebook of quotes and words I come across and want to remember). I could hug you. I really could.

But thank you so much for reading. For it to be your favorite Sehun fic is such a huge compliment and really---from the bottom of my heart, thank you for the love and support.

#messages #my readers are soooooooooooo NICE AND LOVELY #and i adore them all #i hope you are all blessed with the absolute best #back to adulting #this is torture #i just want to write #i have ideas in my head and i want to write them but I HAVE TO WORK #AND IT SUCKS #cocktailsandexistentialism

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omophagias · 4 years

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What makes the 14th century alliterative revival interesting to you? If I can ask?

(i’m going to do the best i can to answer this while every piece of premodern lit i own is taped up in a box somewhere. this post is also going to be very long because it’s my blog and i do what i want.)

first of all i just like alliteration in any form of poetry—i think it makes it more fun to read out loud and helps to accentuate and drive along the meter. it’s also the primary ornamental device in old english poetry—i think the ruin provides a pretty good ongoing example although the translation they’re using on wikipedia is a bit lackluster imo. the ruin is also interesting in itself for a variety of reasons but i’m personally a fan of the way the alliteration seems to ebb and flow in intensity throughout the poem as the poet moves between the city as it once was and the ruins that it is now. it’s also got a bit of internal rhyme near the start with the repetition of -orene words—gehrorene, scorene, gedrorene, forweorone, geleorene (undereotone if you squint)—that i love. this is largely beside the point. anyway it looks like this—

glædmod ond goldbeorht || gleoma gefrætwed, wlonc ond wingal || wighyrstum scan; seah on sinc, on sylfor, || on searogimmas, on ead, on æht, || on eorcanstan, on þas beorhtan burg || bradan rices. (the ruin, lines 33-37)

broadly, the rule is: four stresses per line, at least three of which alliterate (wlonc ond wingal || wighyrstum scan; or, more widely known and a bit looser, hwæt! we gar-dena || in gear-dagum...)

anyway post-conquest a lot of things change; partially because english isn’t the prestige language for a couple-three centuries afterwards so prestige poetry is in latin or norman french (or anglo-norman), partially because english itself is obviously changing through absorbing a lot of norman & otherwise-french influence, partially it is the nature of poetic form to adapt. i’ve seen some arguments that end-rhyme was introduced into french-etc. poetry through diffusion of arabic poetry out of al-andalus; i’m not qualified to comment but it sounds plausible. either way, at and after the time of conquest, french verse was generally octosyllabic, and rhyming or at least assonant—

Bels fut li vespres e li soleilz fut clers. Les dis mulez fait Carles establer. El’ grant vergier fait li reis tendre un tref; Les dis messages ad fait enz hosteler; Duze serjant les unt bien cunreez. (la chanson de roland, att. turold, c. 1040–1115, lines 157-161; assonant)

Quant des lais faire m’entremet, ne vueil ubliër Bisclavret. Bisclavret a nun en Bretan, Garulf l’apelent li Norman. (bisclavret, marie de france, c. 1160–1215, lines 1-4; aabb rhyming)

alliterative verse didn’t entirely disappear, probably, but we don’t have evidence for it after the composition of layamon’s brut in 1190. the verse compositions in identifiable english that we have, like of arthour and of merlin or richard coer de lyon, tend to take after anglo-norman and french antecedents—

Merlin seyd to þe king “Al y knowe þi glosing, Y wot þou louest par amour Ygerne þat swete flour. What wiltow ȝeue me, ar tomorwe Y schal þe lese out of þi sorwe?” (of arthour and of merlin, c. 1250–1300, lines 2477-2482)

He answeryd wiþ herte ffree, “Þeron j moot avyse me. Ȝe weten weel, it is no lawe, A kynge to hange and to drawe…” (richard coer de lyon, c. 1300, lines 997-1000)

the above two are fairly representative of earlier (like, pre-chaucerian) middle english poetic literature. speaking broadly: short, metrical rhymed couplets. i should also mention, probably, that people at the time were fairly inconsistent about the scribal difference between u and v or y/i/j, that þ goes “th”, and that ȝ makes a variety of “g” or “g”-“y” cusp or “gh” or “ch” sounds and can also stand in scribally for a z or hard s.

anyway, the 14th century alliterative revival is what it sounds like: around 1350, primarily in the north and west of england, a lot of alliterative verse began to be written down. it’s…very different from the examples given above:

And þat þe myriest in his muckel þat myȝt ride; For of bak and of brest al were his bodi sturne, Both his wombe and his wast were worthily smale, And alle his fetures folȝande, in forme þat he hade, ful clene; For wonder of his hwe men hade, Set in his semblaunt sene; He ferde as freke were fade, And oueral enker-grene. (sir gawain and the green knight, “gawain poet”, c. 1370–1390, lines 142-150)

middle english alliterative verse by and large rejects end-rhyming (however, the exceptions to that rule are absolutely my favorites—more later), and brings back the four-stress line (both his wombe and his wast || were worthily smale) although in a longer and looser form than was common in old english, probably because of linguistic shifts and because of evolution of the medium. it is so fun to read out loud. sir gawain and the alliterative morte arthure are probably your most accessible examples—they’re both available in facing-page translation by simon armitage, who isn’t my favorite translator of sir gawain but does a good job of retaining the stresses. piers plowman is also representative, but reading it, to me, is a little like being trapped in the donut shop my grandpa hangs out at with a bunch of other old guys, except without donuts—it’s very old-man-yells-at-cloud. but really my interest with them is less with translation than with the way that the language sits in my mouth, and the way that i think alliterative verse sort of pulls the lines forward in a way that end-rhyme doesn’t necessarily—it feels more propulsive, more churning. it’s like a water-wheel, if that makes sense? it plays off the natural stresses of the english language in a really engaging way, and differently from iambic pentameter, which tends to get most of the spotlight when it comes to naturalistic rhythm in english poetry. and there’s a playfulness to a lot of it (especially the rhymed poems), or at least a sense of the ability to play with language, that i love and that i think a lot of people don’t really realize existed in medieval literature (or think only chaucer was capable of it.)

however! the works from the alliterative revival that combine alliteration and end-rhyme are some of my favorite poems in the english language (for a permissive definition of “english”), because they tend to develop these incredible complex, elaborate structures of rhyme and meter. so there are two poems in this category that i’m going to talk about, and i can go for…a long time on the second one. i’m not really going to bring up sir gawain on its own much more because, no room, but it’s really one of my favorite arthurian works, in part because of the alliterative verse, in part because i just love the figure of the green knight and the awful castle hautdesert threesome setup; it’s also one of the more accessible examples of the core of the genre (at least to me—i bounced really hard off of malory, the mabinogion is fun but deeply weird in a way that might put off beginners, and i think chrétien de troyes really depends on how you’re introduced—english translations of french arthuriana tend to be prose translations, which is a whole different post but suffice it to say i don’t think they work.)

first is the three dead kings, which is an expansion on the “as you are so i once was / as i am so shall you be” type of memento mori motif that was pretty common at the time; three kings on a boar hunt run into three corpses who identify themselves as their ancestors and tell them to stop fucking around and take death seriously. so, thematically—i think memento mori art and literature is a lot of fun, in general; the combination of the focus on life’s transience with macabre and often enthusiastically ghoulish imagery—

Lo, here the wormus in my wome — thai wallon and wyndon! Lo, here the wrase of the wede || that I was in wondon! (the three dead kings, att. john audelay, c. 1426, lines 98–99)

—and the vision of life still continuing after death and among the dead, not necessarily solely in the sense of the resurrection but in a community of the dead on earth who speak to and concern themselves with the living, it’s just very fun. (afterlives by nancy mandeville caciola is an absolute blast on that front, by the way.) the three dead kings is also structurally complex in a really enjoyable way: it’s not bob-and-wheel (which you see very famously in sir gawain, the little two-word bob and four-line abab wheel at the end of each verse), but the five-line cdccd bit that i’d call a sort of wheel; and then the main body of each stanza has this very fun abababab scheme where the a- and b-words still half-rhyme with each other. from the stanza i quoted above, you get “fynden — fondon — lynden — Londen — byndon — bondon — wyndon — wondon”. i think it plays very well with the meter.

aside from that, i love the imagery of it; it ranges from, like i said, almost comically grotesque—the dead king whose legs are like leeks wrapped in linen, the worms wallowing and winding in the womb (interesting word choice, also)—to this very sere, wintry atmosphere; the last stanza has a half-line about the “red rowys of the day,” the red daylight, that i just love. and i’m a big fan of the way that, kind of like sir gawain in miniature, the three dead kings opens with this celebration of chivalric performance that’s suddenly pulled askew by the intrusion of supernatural—or, like, really, the most natural; what’s more normal than death, or than cyclical renewal?—forces.

the second poem is pearl. (the linked translation is not my favorite; simon armitage has a facing-page one that’s pretty good, but my favorite overall is marie borroff’s (rip), who also did my favorite sir gawain.) i’m going to do my best not to just go on and on about pearl for ages, because this post is already very long, but it’s also, i think, one of my favorite poems, period. its structure is very hard to talk about briefly, because the way that it’s built is integral to its subject. in brief: 101 stanzas, each of 12 lines in abababab-bcbc rhyme, divided into 20 cantos (the 14th canto has 6 stanzas, the rest 5), for a total of 1212 lines. within each canto, the first and last line of each stanza repeat these linking words and phrases (except the first line of each canto, which does so to the final line of the canto preceding, and the final line of the poem, which paraphrases the opening line.) this is all because pearl is in part about heavenly geometry, the square/cube of the heavenly city (12 furlongs on a side, filled with 144,000 maidens) and the circle/sphere of the pearl, and the way that those two shapes are interposed on each other—there’s a lot of structural/behind-the-scenes numerology and geometry to talk about, but like…i won’t right now. it’s also, in the poem itself, something that can’t fully be talked about—

An-under mone so great merwayle No fleschly hert ne myȝt endeure, As quen I blusched upon þat bayle, So ferly þerof watȝ þe fasure. I stod as stylle as dased quayle For ferly of þat frelich fygure, Þat felde I nawþer reste ne trauayle, So watȝ I rauyste wyth glymme pure. For I dar say wyth conciens sure, Hade bodyly burne abiden þat bone, Þaȝ alle clerkeȝ hym hade in cure, His lyf were loste an-under mone. (pearl, “gawain poet,” c. 1370–1390, lines 1081–1092)

briefly—the narrator sees the heavenly city and nearly dies on the spot, only protected by the fact that this is all taking place in a dream-vision. borroff translates a bit of that as:

As a quail that couches, dumb and dazed, I stared on that great symmetry Nor rest nor travail my soul could taste, Pure radiance so had ravished me.

like…i love that. so much of pearl is about mortal and divine perception, about the unknowability of death and the depth of grief and the final breakdown of the consolatio as a literary-philosophical genre, and about the way that the dead who have transcended death and come out the other side are residing because of that transcendence in a fundamentally alien sphere of cognition, marked out by the impossible-to-withstand radiance of the heavenly city.

but what pearl is about-about, it’s generally agreed, is the death of the narrator’s young daughter. she is the pearl who he lost; grieving her, he falls asleep in a garden and has a dream. in this dream, he wakes up in a fantastical garden or forest, divided by a river, and on the other side of that river is a beautiful young woman who identifies herself, and who the narrator identifies, as the “pearl”. the rest of the poem is a back-and-forth between the narrator and the pearl-maiden, which is largely him asking questions and her explaining biblical parables to him. but describing the conversation as that really does it an incalculable disservice, because what it is is, on the one hand, a grieving parent asking these very human, tender questions of his lost child—are you really her? why did you have to go? where are you? are you happy where you are?—while the child offers only these very stern, cold rebukes—þou most abyde þat He schal deme—and abstruse explanations of the parable of the vineyard; and on the other hand, someone who has been made greedy and grasping and willfully uncomprehending in his grief, refusing to understand that the child he lost is happier where she is now, and that she can be happier there, and that he cannot join her before his decreed time. and he’s not at fault for being that way, but he’s thinking in ways that are fundamentally limited by the mortal realm that he can’t yet exit and she’s thinking in ways that are incomprehensible to people who haven’t also undergone the same apocalyptic, in the word’s sense of “unveiling” (but also, i mean, she’s in the heavenly city), reorientation of thought and being. it’s a very tender poem that i think also manages to prefigure some of the staples of eldritch horror.

and i love how the structure plays into that; the alliteration is looser than the three dead kings—there’s basically no caesura (the || that shows up sometimes in three dead kings and is more or less mandatory in old english verse), and sometimes there’s only 2 alliterations to a line, because the lines are shorter, or none at all—but it’s still got these wonderful repetitions of sound across the stanzas, tied into the repetition of the key words at the beginning and end. the whole thing builds up and up and then collapses back onto the beginning, as the narrator gradually believes he’s understanding more and more and then, in his attempt to ford the river before his time, is thrown back into the mortal world; the poem’s like an impossible staircase. it’s this massive crystalline structure enclosing a deeply human core. there is, to my knowledge, nothing else like it. it—and the other works, including sir gawain, attributed to the “gawain poet” on the basis of stylistic similarities—survives in a single manuscript, cotton nero a.x, which fortunately survived the ashburnham house fire in 1731.

to close off on the alliterative revival at large, it fell out of fashion over the 1400s; in england, the chaucerian tradition—end-rhymed iambic pentameter—dominated, and while alliterative-meter poetry still had some currency in the scottish court that ended with james vi/i stuart’s ascent to the english throne and transfer of his court to london. in modern usage, alliteration as its own technique does crop up in poetry—and i’m always happy to see it—but alliterative meter (as in, four-stress lines, or even the looser form of sir gawain or the three dead kings) is much less common and most people encounter it either through translations of beowulf or through some of the poetry in the lord of the rings (from dark dunharrow || in the dim of morning…)

#.ask #anonymous

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oliverphisher · 4 years

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Will Kostakis

Will Kostakis is a writer of all things, from celebrity news stories that score cease and desist letters, to tweets for professional wrestlers. That said, he’s best known for his award-winning YA novels. His first novel, Loathing Lola, was released when he was just nineteen. His second, The First Third, won the 2014 Gold Inky Award. It was also shortlisted for the Children’s Book Council of Australia Book of the Year and Australian Prime Minister’s Literary awards, among others. The Sidekicks was his third novel for young adults, and his American debut. It went on the win the IBBY Australia Ena Noel Award.

The First Third By Will Kostakis Buy on Amazon

As a high school student, Will won Sydney Morning Herald Young Writer of the Year for a collection of short stories. He has since contributed to numerous anthologies, including Begin, End, Begin: A #LoveOzYA Anthology.

What are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

The Whole Business with Kiffo & the Pitbull By Barry Jonsberg

The Whole Business With Kiffo And The Pitbull by Barry Jonsberg. I read this when I was in high school. The voice was so authentic I thought an Australian teenager was talking directly to me. I knew that if I was going to be a YA author, I wanted to write a book like it.

Notes from the Teenage Underground By Simmone Howell

Notes From The Teenage Underground by Simmone Howell. After first meeting my publisher, I was given a stack of books to read. This was one of them. From the first page, I knew I was going to be a life-long fan of Simmone's writing. She gets straight to the point, and her prose is so sharp it cuts to the truth of everything.

Witches Abroad (Discworld) By Terry Pratchett

Any Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett featuring the witches. I've read Pratchett since I was 12, and he is the benchmark. If I become half the writer he was, then I'll be content with a life well spent.

What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)?

A subscription to Audible (which might add up to more than $100 over 6 months, but if I ignore my credit card statement, it doesn't). The time I used to waste listening to political podcasts is now spent immersing myself in worlds that inspire me to create.

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?

My first book underwhelmed commercially, and after it disappeared from store shelves within months, I set out on the road with a box of books to connect with prospective readers myself. It was a baptism by fire, but I came out the end of it with so many skills that still help me to this day.

Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?

Julia Cameron's concept of "filling the well" (via YA author Dhonielle Clayton) is something that I've come to live by recently as I try to write more often:Art is an image-using system. In order to create, we draw from our inner well. This inner well, an artistic reservoir, is ideally like a well-stocked trout pond. We've got big fish, little fish, fat fish, skinny fish-- an abundance of artistic fish to fry. As artists, we must realize that we have to maintain this artistic ecosystem.If we don't give some attention to upkeep, our well is apt to become depleted, stagnant, or blocked. Any extended period of piece of work draws heavily on our artistic well. As artists we must learn to be self-nourishing. We must become alert enough to consciously replenish our creative resources as we draw on them-- to restock the trout pond, so to speak. I call this process filling the well. (https://ift.tt/3hq6Meg)

What is one of the best investment in a writing resource you’ve ever made?

Nothing beats the trusty pen and pad that I keep in my bag. Sure, sending emails to yourself from your phone is a great way to jot ideas down anywhere, anytime, but nothing beats what I produce when writing by hand. It sounds weird, but my brain just works differently when I do.

What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

My unusual habit is, when I don't feel like I understand my character well enough, I record audio with my phone and waltz around the apartment, talking in character about my wants. I discard 90 per cent of it, but I almost always discover something about them.

In the last five years, what new belief, behaviour, or habit has most improved your life?

One new belief: 'Your prose doesn't have to be perfect, it has to connect.' Sometimes, a grammatically perfect sentence isn't what you need.

What advice would you give to a smart, driven aspiring author? What advice should they ignore?

As somebody who was intent on publication at 12, driven to send novels to publishers way before I was ready, I would tell them to wait. I know the desire to be an author can feel all-consuming, but having the desire doesn't mean you're ready. I wasn't ready when I signed a book deal at 17, I wasn't ready when that book was released when I was 19, and it showed in my work, I think. Take the time to find your voice and what you want to use it for. Achieving your dream sooner isn't necessarily better.

They should ignore any advice that doesn't work for them. The wonderful and frustrating thing about creative writing advice is, what works for one person might not work for another. Accept every piece of advice, trial it, but if it doesn't work for you, it's okay to discard it.

What are bad recommendations for aspiring authors, that you hear in your often?

It isn't really a bad recommendation but ... there's an entire industry built around aspiring authors. Just know that you don't need to pay to get published. You don't pay a publisher to consider or publish your work. You don't need to have your work professionally edited before you submit. Join a critique group! Swap manuscripts with a friend! Read a lot! Download free podcasts! You. Don't. Need. To. Pay. To. Be. Qualified. To. Create. Art.

In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)?

Unpaid labour in all its forms. I am still open to providing my services for free for deserving causes, and I still do, but there's nothing like having to pay rent in Sydney to force you to stop seeing payment in exposure as anything other than exploitation.

What marketing tactics should authors avoid?

"Buy my book, buy my book, buy my book!" on social media. It doesn't work. Never has. Use social media to connect with your readers personally. The hard sell is irritating. If you don't like it when someone does it to you, don't do it to others.

What new approach helped you achieve your goals?

Setting realistic goals. No longer setting the massive "write 2000 words today" and then feeling disappointed. Aiming to write 300 and being satisfied and inspired to write more ... usually results in writing more.

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do?

Whenever I'm blocked creatively, even if under an intense deadline, I walk away and go do something (usually gym or play Pokemon Go), something that forces me to have some distance from my work, so when I return, I'm better able to tackle the problem.

Any other tips?

Read! Read! Read! Read! Be an active member of the literary community. Go to book launches. Listen to authors speak. Read! Read! Read! Read! Recommend books to others. Buy books for others. Fill your well!

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source https://www.thecommunitywriter.com/blog/will-kostakis

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