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#black serpent
mintange · 1 year
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I finally finished him. They are my fav genshin mobs in all game
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golswia · 2 months
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ineffable retirement
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reyrapidsbutgayer · 10 months
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Ranking All Elden Ring Bosses by Fuckability
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It was only a matter of time until I made a post like this.
In this hypothetical all of the bosses can be reasonably communicated with and are not actively trying to kill you.
Repeat bosses not included, duo bosses counted seperate.
It should also be assumed that all of these bosses have access to their magic/items/resources to benefit them in bed.
Explanation of Grading system:
Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)
These characters are not sentient enough to communicate consent, or are physically incapable of sex.
Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)
Character sucks so badly that they do not deserve to experience pleasure in any shape or form.
Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)
These character are fully capable of sex but would never participate in sex due to lack of interest or overabundance of moral convictions.
Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)
I mean, you COULD have sex with these characters but why would you?
Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)
These characters are average in bed, nothing crazy or noticeable. Some might end up in this category because they ARE good at sex, but the entire process would be inconvenient or uncomfortable to initiate.
Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)
These characters are good at sex, give or take a few points depending on their mood or situation.
Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)
These characters excel in giving pleasure and would be well worth the time and effort involved.
Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)
These characters would be so good at sex that all other factors are irrelevant. They are serving and we are here for it.
Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)
These are characters that should fall lower in the rankings, but their sexual prowess supersedes their inherent awfulness to a noteworthy degree.
Full list below the read more. Obviously it's not going to be sfw.
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Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)
Dragonkin Soldier:
Mindless beast
Astel, Naturalborn of the Void
Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.
Fia's Champions:
Ghosts, simps.
Regal Ancestor Spirit
Animal
Erdtree Avatar
A plant
Great Wyrm Theodorix
Mindless beast.
Ulcerated Tree Spirit
A plant, no junk
Tibia Mariner:
Skeleton
Red Wolf of the Champion:
Animal.
Full-Grown Fallingstar Beast
Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.
Abductor Virgin
First off, just some snakes in a robot. Second, virgin.
Erdtree Burial Watchdog
Stone gargoyle
Crystalians
Non-organic
Mad Pumpkin Heads
Unable to consent due to madness.
Cemetery Shade
Unable to consent due to mind controlling parasite.
Spirit-Caller Snail
Animal
Runebear
Animal
Miranda the Blighted Bloom
A plant
Guardian Golem
Stone gargoyle
Starscourge Radahn:
Unable to consent due to madness
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Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)
Elden Beast:
Too catholic.
Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing:
Dick game weak - unironically posts joker memes.
Omenkiller:
Basically a cop.
Necromancer Garris:
Killed his family, not a good husband.
Royal Revenant:
Won't stop screaming (in an unsexy way)
Godrick the Grafted:
Incel - Also all that murder and torture business but mostly the Incel stuff.
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Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)
Valiant Gargoyle:
Could probably have sex if it wanted to, but is kinda going through a lot right now. Ya know, that whole "Is made of several corpses mashed together" thing.
Malenia, Blade of Miquella:
Look, I ALSO wanted her to higher up on this list, but let's be honest here. Her body is rotting and falling apart, she just isn't up for sex in her current form. In her prime? She'd be top of the list. She's the daughter of Marika and Radagon, she'd be playing fuck/marry/kill with every warrior who crossed her path. (in that order)
Death Rite Bird:
I think it might be physically capable of sex, but is too busy burning corpses to bother with stuff like that.
Black Blade Kindred:
Same reason as the Valiant Gargoyle but you might have like 2% more of a chance because they are goth.
Maliketh, the Black Blade:
Would normally be a sex god, but is too religious. Probably took a vow about this sort of thing.
Morgott, the Omen King:
You kidding me? This guy has the same energy as a repressed youth pastor. He's gonna be a virgin till the day he dies. The dude sided with the same religious order that locked him a sewer and tried to kill him. He's not out there getting phone numbers he's too busy praying and judging others for their 'impure thoughts'.
Draconic Tree Sentinel:
Married to his job, also physically chained to his horse. He ain't taking off that armor anytime soon.
Wormface:
Too sad, leave him alone his face is full of worms.
Tree Sentinel:
Same as the Draconic Tree Sentinel but he's a tiny bit more naive so you might have a better chance.
Elder Dragon Greyoll:
Too sleepy, but still kinda a milf.
Grafted Scion:
There might be some genitals in there somewhere but I don't think they know how or even want to use them.
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Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)
Esgar, Priest of Blood:
No sense of hygiene, is always covered in blood (in an unsexy way)
Mohg, Lord of Blood:
This loser is dripping with all the least sexy bodily fluids and he has sharp horns sticking out of him. Even if you got him in bed you'd only enjoy like 5% of it. Plus you just know he'd be all needy afterwards and try to get you to join his MLM.
Borealis the Freezing Fog:
Too cold, not a snuggler.
Elemer of the Briar:
The armor stays ON during sex.
Kindred of Rot:
It's like all the worst possible aspects of alien biology, it won't be nearly as fun as you hoped.
Sanguine Noble:
Same as all the other Mohg followers, too sticky and too smelly.
Decaying Ekzykes:
He's sick right now, leave him alone.
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Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)
Loretta, Knight of the Haligtree:
I'm sure she'd be a decent lover. Maybe a little overzealous but she'd has good intentions.
Grave Warden Duelist:
I mean these guys are hot and probably fuck like a truck but they are not the most caring lovers, also they are covered in live snakes so there is that.
Night's Cavalry:
If you like goth knights I'm sure they'd be fine.
Alabaster Lord:
Their skin probably feels like stone, but I bet they can pull off all sorts of freaky zero-g sex stuff if you ask them.
Onyx Lord:
Same as the Alabaster Lord but slightly more goth.
Fell Twins:
Once you get past the horns and stuff I bet the Omens are actually pretty good in bed, just watch out.
Demi-Human Queens:
I feel like all Demi-humans are pretty good lovers but their biology probably has some unexpected drawbacks.
Stonedigger Troll:
If you can get past the texture and the size I bet they could be decent in bed.
Flying Dragon Greyll:
A surprisingly unsexy dragon, but a dragon is a dragon and still worth at least a one night stand.
A dragon willing to kill racist magic users, earns them a few extra points.
Glintstone Dragon Smarag:
Beastman of Farum Azula:
On one hand the Beastmen probably have crazy mating skills, but they are also zombies, which detracts some points for all the decay.
Battlemage Hugues:
Contrary to popular belief, Wizards are not very good at sex. They spend all their time studying instead of partying, at least Hugues is willing to get his hands dirty.
Commander O'Neil:
Seems like a decent guy, but probably won't shut up about his time in the military. Also he is infected with scarlet rot so that might be a mood killer.
Bloodhound Knight Darriwil:
The bloodhound knights are probably pretty wild in bed if you can earn their loyalty, but good luck with that.
Adan, Thief of Fire:
The dude committed heresy, that has to earn him some sexy points.
Soldier of Godrick:
He's a good boy, he's doing his job so throw him a bone.
Flying Dragon Agheel:
One of the first dragons you encounter, so he earns some points for style.
Demi-Human Chief:
Same as the queens, but probably a bit rougher in bed.
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Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)
Lichdragon Fortissax:
A much sexier dragon, you know they were hooking up with Godwin. Only loses some points for all the death rot.
Crucible Knight Siluria:
A bit gloomy, but I bet the crucible knights can do all sorts of freaky stuff with their animal body parts.
Mimic Tear:
A slippery liquid shapeshifter, need I say more?
Commander Niall:
A way better guy than O'Niel, plus he just a bit more daddy energy.
Fire Giant:
Once you get past his size, his sadness and the giant fell god of destruction in his chest, I bet he's got something going on.
Ancient Hero of Zamor:
Gives me Hercules/Amazonian vibes, I could be into it.
Cleanrot Knight:
Lesbian activities detected.
Crucible Knight:
These guys have tails, horns, wings and big old throat sacks. Imagine the possibilities.
Glintstone Dragon Adula:
Has a sword. If you hear "Dragon holding a sword" and your pants aren't already off, we can't be friends.
Bols, Carian Knight:
He seems like a good boy.
Scaly Misbegotten:
I feel like the Misbegotten have some really interesting possibilities with their animal biology. I bet they have bonobo type societies and that could be fun.
Leonine Misbegotten:
Same as the other Misbegotten.
Misbegotten Warrior:
Same as the other Misbegotten.
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Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)
Crucible Knight Ordovis:
Has all the desirable traits of a Crucible Knight but I also imagine they are super into threesomes.
Perfumer Tricia:
She seems really nice, and would be a super attentive lover. Plus she probably has access to crazy drugs and could hook you up.
Nox Swordstress & Nox Priest:
You just know that the Nox were getting up to crazy hot and crazy unethical experiments in their underground cities. These two probably get up to some wild shit and they are inviting you to join them.
Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon:
As she is now, I bet she'd be too sad to really be in a relationship again. But she kept up with Radagon and you just know she has some tricks up her sleeves that could make you abandon the golden order.
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Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)
Dragonlord Placidusax:
Has two male heads and three female heads, imagine...
Ancient Dragon Lansseax:
Formed a whole freaky dragon/human cult and you just know they got into some eyes-wide-shut orgies behind those doors.
Godfrey, First Elden Lord (Hoarah Loux):
We all knew he'd be this high on the list. He was just a normal dude but he managed to keep pace with Queen Marika (Who is basically a goddess of fertility) for a good long while. He will fold you in half (on the battlefield and in the bedroom.)
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Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)
Radagon of the Golden Order:
He sucks in all the worst ways, but I mean... You can't NOT. Both Radagon and Marika are the embodiment of evil but they managed to suck and fuck their way across an entire continent for generations. You HAVE to give a try at least once.
Godskin Duo:
Oh my god will it be awful with all those flayed human skins, but you know you are still gonna have to. They can stretch and do all sorts of freaky stuff with their bodies, plus they kill gods and nothing is sexier than heresy.
Vyke, Knight of the Roundtable:
The dude is a mad killer but... he can still probably get it, might as well give it a try.
God-Devouring Serpent / Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy:
Personally I wouldn't, he's a loser and will probably kill you. But he is also a giant snake made up of squirming hands doing all sorts of sexual experiments, I can't blame you if you want to give it a taste.
Black Knife Assassin:
They committed a whole lot of treason but the power of armored lesbians is too hard to resist.
Patches:
If you are already having sex with from software characters, you gotta give Patches at least one attempt. When you wake up he'll have robbed you, but you knew what you were getting into.
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agirlnamedbone · 2 years
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“Holiness Hands with Serpents and Bible” // 1987 // Shelby Lee Adams
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89wfox · 7 months
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Inspired buy the awesome fan art of @viperpitsfilly seen here https://89wfox.tumblr.com/post/719368311234854912/excellent-work-from-viperpitsfilly-im-so-happy
This was in my pile of WIP's, I'm super happy that is done and hope you all enjoy it as I did drawing it.
Feathered serpent Hat AU @viperpitsfilly
Rose ThornFire @89wfox
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roseserpentpress · 5 months
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Zosan cat fic anthology (plus the tiger Zoro figure I had just finished making a little while ago!)
Fic links, comments and a photo of my cat below:
Having read a few zosan cat-related fics, I thought it would be really fun to make a small, cat themed zosan anthology, and here it is! To my delight, I found a paw print font (pawprints on defont) but to my annoyance it had no option to have no pawprints on the letters which made it look too busy, nor was there already a version of the font without pawprints, so for the first time I broke out fontforge to make my own version of the font in which I dropped the pawprints. I also drew little cat Zoros and Sanji's for each of the main stories title pages; bookbinding really is a good mash of different hobbies and skills I swear. Also on the mention of other hobbies, I was well pleased that I finished the book and my tiger Zoro figure relatively closely so I could take a photo of them together; here's the post for more photos of the figure and the post for the progress pics!
Also amusingly, when I originally was putting together the anthology, I had not added the second part of stay, and had assumed it would be a somewhat thinner small volume then it is... Which is rather incorrect. I do have to say it's a truly delightful proportion, being this thick and small! I'm also quite pleased at how the cover turned out, with the little gold pawprints. Originally for the title I was going to find a different name and then just went for the one I had originally named the file after, since it's well themed. Wait actually I think I was going to use ships cat and just now realized that... Ooops. Oh well. Also, as a bonus: here's my old cat hanging out on my lap while I was working on the gold foiling!
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Fics include:
Stay by @itsmylifekay (NW, 21.5 k)
Sanji doesn't know what he's done in a past life to deserve this, but somehow when Zoro gets turned into a cat he's the one stuck on babysitting duty. How someone that small can cause so much trouble, he'll never understand.
But even after all the hell he's put through, he still manages to fall in love.
Without Words (NW, 3.8 k)
(stay part ii)
Sanji likes to dote on the people he cares about, likes to express himself fully and without reservation. But sometimes that’s hard to do living on a pirate ship, especially when the person he wants to be affectionate with is a prickly, stubborn asshole of a man.
Or, Zoro gets a bath.
Cat's Cradle by Hazel_Athena (T, 21.5k)
In which a run in with a new Devil Fruit user leaves Sanji with an unexpectedly furry problem.
Ship's Cat by @helloharubo (T, 3k)
The Going Merry has a mouse infestation. Despite Usopp's attempts, Sanji has yet to find a solution to the problem. Enter Zoro, the world's deadliest mouser.
or
Zoro is the ship's cat and expects rewards.
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snototter · 5 months
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A black-headed cat snake (Boiga nigriceps) in Selangor, Malaysia
by cowyeow
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terymlxyrstdus · 1 year
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Barty: *constantly flirts with Evan and almost kisses him*
Evan: *actually kisses Barty*
Barty: *runs away in gay because he didn’t think that far*
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vane-sya · 8 months
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Drawlloween Serpent by IrenHorrors
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saturnsconstellation · 4 months
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Pandora the type of person to give you her brutally honest opinion on you, but only the nice ones.
Barty is the type of person to give you his brutality honest opinions on you, but only the mean ones.
Evan the type of person to never give you his honest opinion.
Regulus the type of person to never have a specific opinion on you, he hates everyone equally.
Dorcas the type of person to be brutally honest but in a way that shapes your character for the better.
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einarbaldvin · 3 months
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Eleven ill omens. Ink on paper.
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rouge-raccoon · 3 months
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Art trade done for a pal over on Twitter pumalovesdragons , had fun drawing em !
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satanasvincit · 8 months
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kobb4ni2 · 8 months
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So I got bored and wanted a height comparison with Sea Serpent Reader in her human form and see how tall she would be......
The results are astonishing
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I dont know who should envy who. The "smallest" ones who reach her legs or the tallest one who can reach her chest and up.
I'll let your imagination run wild on this one. But I will say I just know Black Maria loves to hold reader close to her chest on purpose to piss off King
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THIS IS SO KWEELL BRUV :33
TBH I was only being generous when it comes to Sea Serpent! Reader’s human height, I was gonna make her much more taller then Black Maria cuz I just LOVVVEEE TALL LADIES especially when it’s the main character that I’m doing, (sorry short readers, but y’all have so many fanfics)
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AISHAUA Katakuri is literally at Sea Serpent! Readers chest height, so that whenever she hugs Katakuri, he was grateful for the scarf that he has to hide the blushing mess he is, the same thing goes to his sister Smoothie :3
Cracker would make a suit of armor just to be at the same height as hers, but oh how the cracker armour cracked when you picked him up from his suit and peppered his face with kisses.
WHILE DOFFY (i don’t like him.) is literally just looking at Sea Serpent! Reader’s bottom 😭
EEE I can imagine Yamato just jumping super high to grab Sea Serpent! Reader’s face and kiss her IQBWUWAB I love Yamato so so much dude 😞😞🙏🙏
Sea Serpent! Reader still has to bend over to talk to anyone or she have to hold them in her hands :3
Aaaa King, what haven’t I said about King, he’s majestic, he’s cool, he’d give Black Maria a death glare whenever she hugs you, knowing damn well that your face is smooshed against her breast.
I feel like most character would love to be much more shorter then Sea Serpent! Reader it has more advantages then being tall, like being picked up by Sea Serpent! Reader at her human form or Serpent form.
Everyone is just a horndog for Sea Serpent! Reader here now (me) >\\\\\<
Bonus!!
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Sea serpent! Reader at all her glory :DD
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koenji · 2 months
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scaly scales (snakes). png
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89wfox · 7 months
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Not that I got the style down but I think the pose was fun to try.
Feather serpent Hat style AU @viperpitsfilly
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