#bonus points if the original torturer finds out…

[stillboredman]

Thought / Prompt

CW: torture and angst, my love.

I need to see a character who successfully withstands / escapes brutal, and I mean brutal, torture…

Only to be questioned by their own team.

I mean, “No one could have stayed strong through that. What did you tell them? Not nothing, don’t give me that bullshit answer again. We need to know what they know - and stop fucking crying, this isn’t about you and your goddamn pride. Just be honest. Like, fuck, do you want this to become an official interrogation? Cause for Christ’s sake, Ethan, I don’t want to hurt you, but I will. What did you TELL THEM?”

There’s just. Something so terrible.

About being in the hands of your friends, being safe again.

Just for the people you love to rip it all away.

[avocado-writing]

notes: I did a lot of research for this and yes, the manuscript I reference is a real thing. I didn’t put its name in though because that felt a step too far 😂 set in the light, the dark, and the spaces in between after ch3 so hope that’s ok! requests like this give me life.

relationship: aziraphale x immortal!reader x crowley

rated: G, pure fluff

word count: 1.4K

if you like my work you can buy me a kofi!

You’re the one who makes the tea. 

That’s because you’re the only one who changes how you have it: sometimes you fancy a chai, or a green tea, or a lapsang souchong. Sometimes with sugar or a little bit of milk, sometimes with neither, sometimes with an oat alternative. It changes. You’re human, you go through phases. 

But Aziraphale and Crowley? Nah, they’re creatures of habit. Despite the angel’s wide and experimental palate he’s oddly rigorous when it comes to his cuppa. For him, it’s loads of milk and four sugars, drowned to the point where it could hardly be called tea any more. Crowley likes his black and strong and nowhere near anything that could affect the taste. You wring the teabag tortuously into his mug with a teaspoon before grabbing all three servings and heading into the shop. 

You put yours down first, on the side next to the book you’re currently reading, then hand your husbands theirs. They both take them from you in the same way, the way they have done for centuries now, a domestic ritual: accepting the mug you offer and then your hand, pressing a little kiss of thanks and affection to the back of it. 

A heartfelt  intimacy just between the three of you. 

☕️ 

“Hurry Crowley, it’s starting!”

“Yes, yes, alright angel, hang on.”

“We won’t hang on and we’re not pausing it. Not a threat, just a fact,” you call into the kitchen. A couple of seconds later, Crowley emerges from the kitchen with three wine glasses and a bottle of Pinot Grigio. 

“I’ll be mother, then,” he mutters as the other two of you barely take your eyes off of the telly. You’ve got your legs slung over Aziraphale’s lap and he only takes a break from stroking your knee in absentminded, loving circles to take the proffered glasses from his husband, one for himself and one for you. Crowley plonks down the other side of Aziraphale and throws his own legs over him too, the two of you playing footsie for space across his plush thighs. Eventually the three of you find a comfortable pile and settle in. 

“Another ten weeks of torture begins,” Crowley says as the Bake-off theme ends and the show starts. You nudge him with your toe. 

“You don’t have to watch it with us,” you tell him. He harrumphs but doesn’t argue because, really, of course he’ll watch it with the two of you. It makes you both happy. 

🍞 

Your work is as a consultant for museums around the country, which is a fun way of saying you get paid a lot because you know a lot. But mostly, you only know a lot because you’ve been around for a very long time. So whenever a shard of pottery or a scrap of clothing needs dating they call you to come and put its history into context. 

Also, for the bigger museums, it’s a chance for you to smuggle out the stolen artefacts and return them to their country of origin. You consider it a hobby, a bonus perk of the job. 

You’ve set up this exhibition. It’s for pottery around the end of the Roman rule in Britain, stuff you’ve found and identified around the country on archaeological digs. You lead Crowley and Aziraphale through, discussing your findings in detail, before you come to a small, surprisingly intact, terra sigillata oil lamp. It sits on its own, spot lit. You asked for it that way. 

“See this? I made this. Over a thousand years ago,” you tell them, quietly, gently putting your hand to the glass of the display case. Aziraphale and Crowley take a careful look at the engraving on the object. It bears the profile of a man, and with the sharp cheekbones and little glasses there’s only one person it could be. 

“Oh, Nightingale. It’s lovely,” Crowley says, surprisingly touched. He wraps an arm around you and buries his face into your hair. 

“You could say I’ve held a flame for you for a long time,” you say, and grin. Crowley groans. 

“Did you put my face on a lamp just to keep that pun up your sleeve?”

“Maybe.”

🔥 

You next return to the museum when you pick up that Aziraphale is jealous. He isn’t jealous often but he’s pants at hiding it, and it’s not hard to guess why: he’s just seen that Crowley stuck with you for such a long time you put his face on a piece of bloody pottery. You’d probably be a bit put out too. 

So for a couple of weeks you throw yourself into your work to find the thing that will make it even. And you do, even though it takes a lot of overseas bargaining and promises to do some pro-bono work. 

You finally get the museum in America to agree to send it over for a showing. You arrange a special exhibition specifically for this, where it’s held behind a huge glass case in a dark room with only a small light on it. 

But you get special access because, well, you’re you. So you sneak Aziraphale and Crowley in one night and walk into the display room, wearing a face mask and a pair of protective gloves. 

There it sits: the Canterbury Tales. One of the oldest versions in the world. 

“Oh, this is wonderful!” Aziraphale gasps, peeping over your shoulder to inspect. “I can feel the adoration coming off of it in waves. This was a labour of love, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. I’d let you have it for the shop if I had the power. But I think they’d notice if I shoved this one down my top,” you sigh, scanning the pages for what you’re after, then stop dead when you find it. 

“Here. Look.”

You point to one of the illustrations, a mounted rider on a beautiful white horse. Aziraphale takes in a quiet breath and draws closer. Because just as plainly as you put Crowley on your oil lamp, you drew your angel in the Canterbury Tales. Curly hair, pink face, beaming smile. 

“Oh my,” he whispers. You stroke the little picture and remember toiling away over painting it, repeatedly wiping your brow to make sure your sweat didn’t smudge your work. 

“I put you in all the copies I could get my hands on. And you,” you turn to Crowley, “your face is probably buried on my pottery in a dozen dig sites across the UK. I’m just saying I’ve loved the two of you since the day we met; always have, always will.”

Your husbands look at each other and then at you, before as one they step forward to embrace you. 

“And we’re lucky to have you,” Crowley whispers in your ear, as Aziraphale kisses your cheek. Their hands meet at your back and they interlace their fingers with each other, you wrap your arms around them and stay like that for a moment; three working parts of a whole. 

They kiss, and then they kiss you. You feel warm and rosy. Then you spend the evening reading through the book from beginning to end. 

📖 

You keep your wedding ring on a chain around your neck at work. Not because you’re embarrassed that you're married; far from it - it’s far too precious to risk losing while constantly taking protective gloves on and off all day. So you don’t blame your colleague for asking you on a date. He’s young, fresh out of uni, and of course has no idea you’re old enough to be his grandparent forty times over. 

“That’s very kind,” you tell him, and his face falls because he knows where this is going, “but I’m already happily married.”

He sighs in embarrassment but manages to recover quickly, instead telling you: “they must be someone special to have you.”

He’s doing the polite thing by not assuming the gender of your spouse but it turns out “they” is right on the money. On cue, Aziraphale and Crowley walk through the door to pick you up at the end of your shift. You wish your colleague goodbye and go to meet them. 

“Evening, darling,” Crowley calls. 

“How was work, my love?” Aziraphale follows up. 

“Oh, fine. I’m tired now. And hungry. Can we go and get dinner?”

You link an arm through either of theirs, heading out into the London afternoon. 

“Ooh yes, that is a good idea. I quite fancy fish and chips!”

“Let’s go to that spot round the corner. They make their own tartar sauce. Crowley, are you getting your own chips or nicking mine when I’m not looking?”

“The best tasting chips are the ones you steal.”

“Oh, he doesn’t even deny it—!”

Your colleague watches you leave the building, a little dazed, and supposes it takes all sorts to make a world. 

Taglist: @angiestopit @dazed-soul @idontmeanto @smile-eywa @staygoldsquatchling02 @underratedboogeyman @specter-soltare @candlewitch-cryptic @cool-ontherun-world @emilynissangtr @willbedecided @cool-iguana @bdffkierenwalker

[stargirlfeyre]

My thoughts on the theory that the Nesta book is about Nesta (this is kinda long).

*Though I’m not a Nesta fan this isn’t coming from a place of hatred towards her but just what’s logical for me*

I’ve been seeing people say that the next book is going to be another Nesta + Cassian Pov but that doesn’t make sense if we take into account how the original trilogy worked, the current plot of the books, and Sjm’s own words.

Firstly, when Feyre was getting multiple books it was made pretty clear throughout the series. Until Acowar none of her books had a finale like ending. Acotar ended after she’d just been through months of torture and was entering arguably the lowest point in her life, Acomaf ended a damn mess to say the least, and finally Acowar signified the end of the original trilogy. Feyre wasn’t fully healed by healing and at peace. She was on the right path and surrounded by her loved ones

Feyre’s Acowar ending heavily mirrors Nesta’s Acosf ending. Nesta’s happy. She has a found family, has her mate, and is healing her relationship with her sisters. There’s not really an open ending like how Acotar and Acomaf was for Feyre. Don’t you think that if Sjm planned on giving Nesta multiple books she would have shown it in Acotar? I don’t take the few chapters that she’s in in Hofas as foreshadowing that she’ll get more books because why would you use another series to foreshadow a character getting more books in a separate series?

If Nesta was getting more books in the Acotar series then that would have been foreshadowed in the Acotar series. No, Ember telling Nesta that she’ll find her way is not enough evidence for me I’m sorry.

Secondly, things just won’t be balanced out. There are two more full books in the Acotar series. If Nesta gets the other one that would be that Elain gets the last one. Feyre gets 3 books, Nesta gets 2, and Elain’s gets…1? What sense does that make? Let’s just say that each sister is getting a duo-logy, that would mean that there’s 3 more books in this series plus a novella or two. Not only does that directly go against Sjm’s own words that each sister is only getting one book, but there’s just not enough plot for that to happen. We can already tell that this series is dragging and Sjm is trying to create new conflicts and that’s heavily impacting the quality of her writing, there’s not enough material for this series to drag on for over 3 books and still make sense.

I saw someone say that Nesta is getting a trilogy like Feyre and Elain will also get one and there will be a novella in between. But again that just makes no sense. Sjm signed a deal for 7 more books. If what y’all are saying is true then that means all seven books are for the Acotar series. All of them. Now we know this isn’t true because she has said herself that the Crescent City series will have more books and she’s also visiting a new world that she’s excited to write for.

Elain is getting that next book. We all just need to accept this and move on. Feyre got a trilogy for a reason and her sisters are getting one book spin-offs for a reason. Now does this mean that Nesta will never have a pov or play a major role in the Acotar books again? Absolutely not. Nessian will probably still get a bonus chapter in the next book like Feysand got in Acosf, Nesta will likely still use the troves, and she’ll likely still wield Ataraxia and be a warrior like she’s training to be.

What’s she’s not going to do is leave Cassian for Eris. What’s she’s not going to do is leave the Night Court which she’s already called her home. What she’s not going to do is revive a court that already belongs to Rhys and become High Lady or High Queen. Nesta’s path is already set in stone. She’s still walking that path sure but we know where her story is going. I’m going to touch your hand when I say this…Sjm did not write an 800 page books of Nesta gaining friends, family, and love in the Night Court and breaking out of the mindset that her mother and grandmother beat into her just for her to leave the Night Court and follow the path that here abusive family laid for her.

It’s just not going to happen.

[indelicateink]

the Interview with the Vampire kink meme continues to be everything

there's been a scorching HOT loustat fill today: The Interview

a bouquet of thanks to @vampire-dove for maintaining this anon kink meme for us.

i'm going to share some of the prompts going on over there. please go add more. please fill prompts. these vampires cry out to be put in Situations.

Prompts [5/?]:

Lestat de Lioncourt/Louis de Pointe du Lac Seduction, Vampire Turning, Drunk Sex, Marriage Proposal

"Parallel universe.

"In 1905, Parisian brothel owner Lestat de Lioncourt keeps his ungrateful brothers and father, and his frail mother, in comfort despite hating his life. When his new acquaintance, wealthy American Louis de Pointe du Lac, comes on so strong, he starts to think life could be different. There is an air of the preternatural about him, but Americans are probably just like that?

"Vampire Louis de Pointe du Lac searches for a new life in the old world and finds a handsome man with a most agreeable disposition who he wants to convince to become his companion. Life certainly wouldn't be boring."

--

Armand/Daniel Molloy

"Minimal or no Devil’s Minion before 2022. Armand turns Daniel out of spite, but Daniel takes to vampirism immediately and revels in his newfound strength and immense power. And Daniel is so psyched about this new un-life that he kisses Armand, who kisses him back passionately. He then fucks Armand all around the penthouse and gives him the best dick he’s had in centuries. Armand is terribly confused by this intense, feverish passion between them, over thinks it, and flees out of self-preservation. and naturally Daniel gives chase!"

--

Claudia/Madeleine, Lestat de Lioncourt/Louis de Pointe du Lac Alternate Universe - Royalty, Weddings, Competition

"Royal wedding au. Now that she's in her thirties, Claudia's parents are putting their foot down: as their only child, she will be inheriting the throne, and she's going to need a partner as strong as she is. They've lined up candidates. It's tradition.

"Claudia has never forgiven Lestat for not using his magic to bring back her first love, Charlie, years ago, but he hopes he can make amends by introducing her to a beloved fellow countrywoman from his homeland who was…exiled…for being…a traitor?? Louis wants to know what the fuck is wrong with Lestat's head."

--

Lestat de Lioncourt/Louis de Pointe du Lac Extremely Dubious Consent, Hallucinations, Episode: s02e01 What Can The Damned Really Say To The Damned? (Interview with the Vampire TV 2022)

"While traveling Europe with Claudia, Louis hallucinates(/fantasizes about?) Lestat forcing himself on him.

"Can be violent or just disturbing, can be physical assault (I know the hallucinations don't work like that but we can suspend our disbelief) or not include touching at all. Up to you how aware Louis is that the hallucination is his own mind torturing him. The important part is that Louis is really messed up and can only get off while also punishing himself. Bonus points for Lestat being in his bloody post-Mardi Gras outfit, throat slit and bleeding and all."

--

Armand/Lestat de Lioncourt Accidental Marriage, Accidental Bonding, Dubious Consent

"1795 AU. The Great Laws this, The Great Laws that. Magnus never told Lestat that when another vampire overpowers you with a bite soon after your turning, your body imprints on them and you become vampire-married.

"After Armand attacks Lestat at the party, Lestat finds himself craving sex with Armand against his will. He is determined to be strong! Gabrielle rolls her eyes a lot."

--

Louis de Pointe du Lac/ Oiginal Male Characters, Armand/Original Male Characters Serial Killers, Recreational Drug Use, Creampie, Felching, Rape/Non-con Elements, Service Submission, Under-negotiated Kink, Humiliation, Drugged Sex

"Louis gets lost in the high and never cleans up/finishes draining his hookups to kill them. Louis isn’t going to fuck him when he’s like this, but Armand dutifully cleans up Louis’s sloppy seconds to feel closer to his maitre.

"additional tags: unnegotiated bdsm, nonconsensual drugged sex (armand/louis’s half-dead hookups), nonconsensual blood drinking (armand/louis’s half-dead hookups)"

--

Lestat de Lioncourt/Louis de Pointe du Lac Pregnancy Kink, Crack Treated Seriously

"fantasy m/m non-omegaverse vampire au in which ppl of any sex can get pregnant if they're fertile and are someone who has a uterus because reasons!

"lestat can bear children. louis desperately wants kids. lestat and louis knew when they got married they were not on the same page: children were a hard no for lestat. not having them was a dealbreaker for louis. they really should've sorted that out before they eloped.

"years later louis has one foot out the door when lestat bitterly caves, to louis's single-minded delight. gabrielle and armand are quietly appalled.

"five times louis got his husband pregnant and one time lestat volunteered the idea.

"(i am begging you on my knees for this fic please and thank you)"

[sanjisboyfie]

❔[NAME] WIKI - ALABASTA ARC ENDS

realized i left it out of my a/n last update but, after every major arc in one piece, there will be a "[name] wiki" that will just highlight information that might have been missed/not so obviously stated about [name] as well as bonus infomration on relationships, fun facts, etc!!! anyway, enjoy this little filler update before skypiea <333

link to original fanfic where thsi wiki is based from :D

full name: [REDACTED] D. [NAME]

age: 20, departed from foosha village at 17 — it’s been three years since then

affiliations:

— [REDACTED] Pirates ERROR LOADING

— [REDACTED] ERROR LOADING

— connection with Shanks/Red Hair Pirates in some way

— [REDACTED] Pirates, temporary member, mutual gain

— Straw Hat Pirates

epithet: [REDACTED]

The Cursed Orphan

birthday: [xx/xx] ← this is your own birthday LOL

height: 6’5

there is a reason he is so tall, please trust me he is not insanely tall for no reason. like there are plot reasons as to why he built like a beanstock.

- related: i forgot that his height was lowkey a plot point (a teensy teensy tiny bit) so i forgot to mention his height until very very very very very recently in the chaptesr LMFAOOA

bounty:

— 200,000,000

— 250,000,000

japanese va: junichi suwabe … or … yuki kaji … or more like kenjiro tsuda (i cant decide unfortunately lmk in comments bc i like all of these vas a lot) 

appearance:

— has a giant tattoo expanding over his shoulders/back. they look like wings (minus the figure in the middle). they don’t look like the typical tattooed angel wings going downwards, they more-so stretch across his back and the tips end at his deltoids.

— keeps a black cloth wrapped around one of his wrists, at all times. this cloth was torn from shanks’ cloak and [name] keeps it as a safe keeping

— always is wearing a silver necklace. it’s a simple, thin chain that is almost unnoticeable, but he is never seen without it.

— has scars all over his body. they’re not battle scars. they start from his face and go all the way down to his feet. if you were to see his entire body, you would see that most of the scars are single lines that do NOT disconnect from their starting point. they run almost continuously. for example, the scarred line that starts at his face goes all the way down to his feet, without being “interrupted.” origins are unknown.

weapon: a sword that was passed down from shanks and given to him as a gift. he doesn’t know the proper name of it, but it looks like a regular katana. he has never drawn his sword in the series yet, seeing as he only reveals the blade when he is out to very seriously maim, torture, or kill his enemies. the katana radiates an intimidating aura and anyone around [name] can feel it.

standard outfit: just jeans and a t-shirt, nothing crazy goes on here LMFAO or whatever you wanna envision him to be wearing.

abilities: have not been completely revealed, but it does have something to do with water. this explains his ability to control people’s bodies, seeing as their blood and overall body mass has a high percentage of water.

— he has some control over sea water, but only for short bursts of time.

— he is not completely immune to the effects of sea water, though. if he is submerged in it for a long enough period of time <a couple of minutes>, then he will begin drowning and sinking just like a devil fruit eater would.

— did not eat a devil fruit. the origins of his powers are unknown at this time.

— skilled swordsman, source: trust me bro. but seriously, he doesn’t just swing around the sword, even though we’ve never seen him use it, he’s generally very good with weapons of all kinds — but has a specialty in blades.

— has been seen using geppo, soru, and shigan. 

favorite food: COFFEE BEANS + SEAFOOD :) cheese

fun facts:

likes: all the strawhats, animals, bitter flavors

dislikes: the world gov + navy, anyone that isn't a strawhat, anything sweet flavored

— the name the government gave him was due to how they could not find any family lineage tied to him

— considers dadan and makino as his mother figures!

— the song he is always humming is for fruits basket <333

— its not that he only drinks coffee and not anything else — like booze, its just he doesnt like the taste of booze. he can drink it, but he wont like it.

— if he were to live in the real world, he would have a job in child protective services. he cares a lot for children. plus he feels the natural instinct to be protective of those around him.

— he can tell if there is anybody nearby due to how he is able to see water concentration to a certain extent. that is why whenever he squints in the distance or at the water, he is looking for something to pop out and is expecting to see someone/something.

— is really offstandish when it comes to strangers. it takes a lot to get trust out of him, but if it’s someone that luffy or the others trust, then he’s quick to lower his guard.

— finds it really amusing whenever chopper, nami, or usopp run to hide behind him when they see any enemies. he doesn’t mind it, but still thinks its really funny whenever it happens.

— he enjoys pissing off zoro, but never brings up their past fight. to him, it was a silly thing that happened in the past so he doesn’t hold it over zoro’s head, plus he saw how much it affected the swordsman.

— hates manspreaders → has a chronic, worst case of manspreading anyone has ever seen

— has the highest debt to nami in the entire crew (somewhere in the 300-400,000)

— the tattoo over ace’s heart are words that he and ace shared with each other (”together in chaos”) when they were children (LOOOREEEE)

— wants to start working out with zoro, but due to their recent adventures hasn’t had the chance to :(

— unlike luffy, he has no qualms in killing his enemies. he wishes he were like luffy in this sense, but he is paranoid that these people will come back for him, or worse — the crew, so he eliminates them when he can.

— [name] really, really wanted vivi to come along. but he didn't verbalize it so as to not pressure her or manipulate the decision of what she herself wanted.

— whenever he wakes up from sleep, he’s in one of three odd positions: 1. luffy and him somehow end up cuddling, 2. he’s on the floor, or 3. he’s (not maliciously aka they're not actually dying.) choking either zoro or sanji with his arm.

— feels particularly protective of nami — not because she is a woman, but because he saw how sick she had gotten and was scared she would die. addtionally, he trusts her and her ability to fight, but if she requests for his help in a battle, he wouldn’t hesitate to go and help her.

— if him and sanji can't sleep at night, they go out on the deck and smoke together until one of them gets tired and they go back to bed.

— rather prideful in being strong. at the same time, he doesn’t really enjoy the nature of his abilities

— [name] had a bad history with the people on whiskey peak, which explains his hostility to them in the beginning chapters (they fooled him by giving him a lot of food, then they tried attacking him while he was sleeping, and he had to fight them.) doesn't like being lied to.

— vivi wishes she could have knighted [name] into holding a formal title as a guardian in the kingdom of alabasta, but igaram rejected the idea. her father and pell were close to agreeing, but ultimately decided that they couldn't and shouldn't seeing as [name] was too infamous for being a lethal pirate. vivi sulked about this for a while.

love language : acts of service and physical touch

— the more comfortable he is with someone, the more likely he is to crack jokes around them. it means hes relaxed and can feel comfortable being himself rather than being on edge and guarded.

— vivi often times hums the song that [name] always hummed, smiling whenever she remembers the amount of memories she had made with the crew. that song has now become her favorite despite her not knowing where it was from or if there were even words that went along with it.

— animal representation: crow

— who would he be if the strawhats were a family? the one younger cousin that keeps running around shouting about how he wants to fight/do something that requires a lot of energy from everyone else (or, cool uncle)

— he actually naturally has a very sweet scent, but since he is always brewing coffee/eating coffee beans, he masks that scent with coffee since he hates it :)

personality type : ENFP

→ characters that are ENFP: jinx (arcane/league of legends), hu tao (genshin impact), harley quinn (dc universe), and ellie (the last of us)

how would [name] describe his relationships:

with luffy: captain, dearest person in his life, partner in crime in annoying the rest of the crew, personal backpack since luffy is always climbing him

with zoro: most reliable crewmate, best first mate to luffy, good friendly competitor 1/2 strongest swordsman in the world

with nami: smartest crewmate!! admires her navigation abilities, enjoys her company when she isn't yelling bloody murder at him </3 1/3 of his priority people to protect

with usopp: fun to tease and joke around with, enjoys the way usopp lies even though he hates liars, 2/3 of his priority people to protect

with sanji: the best chef in the world, genuinely a very kind man, sees eye to eye with him more often than not, thinks his rude persona is just a front LOL good friendly competitor 2/2

with chopper: cutest mascot, thinks he is genuinely very strong, admires his mental strength and his story, 3/3 of his priority people to protect

with vivi: worrisome princess, braver than she gives herself credit for, very close friend he hopes to reunite with in the future! a crewmate in his mind even if she is not sailing with them

with ace: idiot, but also a very cute idiot <3 freckles, sees a lot of their childhood in ace’s eyes which makes him slightly emotional, reckless, misses him a lot right now

EXTRA BONUS:

playlist !

his theme songs are: chemtrails over the country club by lana del rey, i know ? by travis scott, here comes your man by the pixies ← will add more songs in each wiki !!!

— cotcc : “it’s beautiful, how this deep normality settles down over me. i’m not bored or unhappy, i’m still so strange and wild. you’re in the wind, i’m in the water. nobody’s son, nobody’s daughte,”

— i know ?: “tell me, is you still up. it’s 5 a.m. and i’m drunk right now. tell me, can we still fuck. // i know, mami, i know, it’s 2 a.m., don’t stress. at 3, that bullshit kick in, in thirty, you’ll feel your best”

— here comes your man, “take me away to nowhere plains. there is a wait so long (so long, so long). you'll never wait so long. here comes your man, here comes your man, here comes your man, here comes your man”

luffy & [name]: video games, “it’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you. everything i do — i tell you all the time. heaven is a place on earth with you. // it’s better than i ever even knew. they say that the world was built for two. only worth living if somebody is loving you.”

zoro & [name]: married with children, “i hate the way that you are so sarcastic and you’re not very bright. you think that everything you’ve done’s fantastic. your music’s shit, it keeps me up all night, up all night // and it will be nice to be alone, for a week or two. but i knew then i will be right, right back here with you, with you, with you, with you, with you, with you”

sanji & [name]: right side of my neck, “the right side of my neck still smells like you. the right side of my neck still smells like you”

nami & [name]: LOYALTY, “tell me when your loyalty is comin’ from the heart. tell me who you loyal to. do it start with your women or your man? do it end with your family and friends? or you’re loyal to yourself in advance?”

usopp & [name]: my way, “for what is a man, what has he got? if not himself, then he has naught. to say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels. the record shows i took the blows. and did it my way”

vivi & [name]: happiness is a butterfly, “if he’s a serial killer, then what’s the worst thing that could happen to a girl who’s already hurt? i’m already hurt. if he’s as bad as they say, then i guess i’m cursed. looking into his eyes, i think he’s already hurt. he’s already hurt.”

chopper & [name]: live and let die, “when you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say live and let live. but if this ever changing world in which we’re living, makes you give in and cry — say live and let die”

ace & [name]: my love mine all mine, “nothing in the world belongs to me, but my love, mine, all mine, all mine. // nothing in the world is mine for free, but my love mine, all mine, all mine”

taglist (lmk if u want to be tagged ! <3 :

@skullr0se , @strawberrii-tea, @triangulartriangles, @anotherlovefool, @haratatsu, @sinmp, @3v37773, @taru-nami, @disc0dild0s, @boredwithlifeatthispoint, @kaulitzer, @notplutos, @cheetosins

[ .ᐟ ] PSA ! DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT READ THIS  (older version of this) STORY ON WATTPAD I REPEATTTTT DO NOTTT BECAUSE ! MY OLD VERSION OF THIS STORY IS STILL PUBLISHED bc i dont rlly want to take it down tbh bc a lot of ppl still read it AND IT IS SPOILLLERRRSS FOR WHAT I PLAN ON DOING WITH THIS STORY !!! because this is re-written and a much much much much much improved version of that oldddd story + it is still following that original plot line i had all those years ago just like 10000x better bc idk what drugs i was on when i was writing that ff all those years ago bc that shit is crazy LMFOAOAOA i beg, i BEG, of you to not read it i want this experience to be so fun with all the plotwists and motives of characters like pleaseeee do not read it (also ??? its jus so cringe worthy jus dont read it LFMAO) 

[eri-pl]

But how about

(TW Feanorian things: fire, torture, drowning - under the cut)

Maglor in Numenor?

Inspired by "why was Quenya the official language there?" post

Not initially, Osse wouldn't let him probably, but Maglor came a few years later

Because that's as close to home he can go

"no, don't make your son the king, your daughter is older" "shut up, kidnap great-grandpa"

They kept him out of the official history because he's not someone to be proud of, but initially very close to the kings

What if the mysterious remark of Maglor being wed is "I won't mention it to not spoil the history of Numenor but"

Not all elf-human romances are as glorious as B&L, some are just a kinslayer and his wife trying their best

Bonus points if his lineage mixes into one of the important lines (and later, Aragorn!)

Later more and more forced into hiding / disguises

Tar-Palantir invites him to the council again but not officially as an elf of course. Illusions and disguises ftw

Ar-Pharazon doesn't notice it's an elf, because he's an idiot (wise in ways of the world but)

Tar-Miriel knows of course

And then Sauron comes

Maglor runs away into hiding because he's a coward

Isildur find him and begs for help

Major tries to help gets caught by Sauron and it's due to be burned

Sauron doesn't watch him himself because he's busy intriguing

He's too busy angsting about Maedhros (because, you know, the idea of being burned) to escape

Isildur gets him out, or maybe Anarion, let him do something cool too

Runs away into hiding 2

The fleet sets sail

Maglor is conflicted because those guys are being idiots and go too far against the Valar for even a Feanorian to be ok with it, but on the other hand, Sauron

He decides to try again, and (as brilliant idea as it is original) goes and tries to fight Sauron... With singing

Not that that would help now because the fleet is gone already

But I guess he tries anyway

Of course loses and Sauron "has some fun" as he did with his brother

Jest as Sauron is ready to burn Maglor, tsunami

Everything drowns

Maglor finally drowns, as was his fate since long ago but he failed at it before

But

He drowns in the exactly one tsunami in the history that can wash away his idiotic oath

Pun intended

And yes it's idiotic

And no not because he deserves it or smth

But look at me and tell me that Sauron deserved being let free with nothing but an ugly face

So, cut to a visibly confused (sic!) Namo

Yes I'm too sympathetic to characters (unless I'm not) fight me

[pseudonimh]

Hey, just a thought, but consider how cool it would be if as a way to try and win Phil's loyalty, the code gave him his "wings" back. Not a normal elytra or his usual crow wings, but a digital and number-filled set that had the off chance of teleporting him when flying. Maybe not only to buy a form of Phil's loyalty, but they find out about Phil's past as "The Angel of Death" and want to use that, so they offer the clipped wise crow a new set of wings so long as he helps when it's needed.

The codes already have a fascination and eye with Phil, that being the first few days it attacked him, impersonated his kids first, and even more recently with Codeflippa favoring Phil alongside the other code events that seem to single Phil out amongst the other islanders. Phil has openly shown and expressed how awful it is to not fly, how he has to wear a backpack as a counterweight, and even the looks at Jaiden's wings were just torture to him- so, what if the codes notice that? The codes are observant and they gave Charlie his kid back, they gave Etoiles a wicked sword and shield back after he lost, so why not wings to a very useful asset who's more dangerous in flight?

If Phil was offered the wings, would he take them? He's already seen the effects of negative code use with Charlie, but he's also seen the benefit of using code tools with Etoiles. I think, or at least would like to imagine, that Phil would take the wings in due time after everything he's been through, after what the Federation did to his wings, and the soft taunting of the lack of them (Birdhouse, Jaiden showing their wings off, the "ha ha ha" and bubbles blown in his face, etc.).

So just imagine the offer: A set of wings for Phil to fly again, to use those wings and don the name "The Angel of Death" in totality again, to use those wings to find his kids so long as he pays the price of helping the codes when they need it. Maybe up on a pedestal in the highest place around that has a high significance to Phil, near Uppies as if a more convincing place because of how great it'd be to have wings there. The thought of having his kids back because he could find them with his fixed wings, he could hold them with wing hugs like he never properly could before, and he could keep them safe. Flying over high areas once again would be a liberating feeling, helping his friends much quicker, achieving his supposed full strength again too is too much of an intoxicating proposal.

Phil takes the offer, especially at the chance of finding his kids, and the next thing he knows is that his back is heavier and there's a greenish glow to them as feathers are semi-replaced with zeros and ones. Sure he wasn't expecting them to be like this, but to see and sense a full set of wings rather it be clipped and mangled gives a wave of relief that hadn't been felt in six months. The first thing he does? Fly. That's all he does for who knows how long, flying as much as that damned sunbird he chased and not landing anytime soon.

The effects of having the wings might make him teleport here and there every so often, I mean, this is more than just a held weapon or semi-contact with a code, it's full-on limbs like Maximus' leg but with more serious implications (It's Phil's wings, c'mon you know how much they mean to him). I can practically hear Etoiles shouting "LETS GOOOOO, THE GOAT" at Phil about how cool his wings are and asking to spar; a whole new meaning to Codebreakers too. Would his voice glitch? Who's to say. But I find it poetic that Phil became the thing he fought so long ago, a semi-glitchy powerful being with wings and an air of death.

Bonus points that his chat, the crows, appear around Phil's home when he took the offer as if to contrast the hummingbirds and parrots that originally showed up. Maybe even in a literary sense, the crows have flecks of bright green on their wings to match Phil too. Even more bonus points are that Phil chooses an open area in the sky to make a new home, just because it's safer and he feels more comfortable, that and so he can fly more.

[chordsykat]

Mildy Devious but Very Practical Sorcery to Endear People to Your OC

So, you're doing it! You're starting a new fanfiction with an original character, self insert, or someone else otherwise foreign to the regular canon cast - good show! But! This is not your first rodeo and you know from experience that it can be a tough climb, getting readers to accept this new face into the fold. You realize such things take time, but for this fanfiction, you're looking to employ strategies that will get the audience on your new little baby's side, pretty immediately... what ever shall you do?

The following list of writing tricks is offered with the understanding that you, the writer, consider yourself fairly capable at the skill, and understand that this guide won't cover obvious things that so many other tutorials recommend -- like having an interesting backstory for your character and being relatively good at spinning a yarn. None of these suggestions are replacements for good storytelling! They are, in fact, merely supplemental to it.

That out of the way, let us begin...

Easy Tricks:

#1, Make Your OC the Villain

May seem counterintuitive, but hear me out. No matter what you think and believe about your own character, people are probably going to go into a story distrusting the new guy. It's just the way it is. So why not meet them where they are? Besides -- it's fun to see characters grow into heroes rather than starting them out that way. Wherever they end up, the people reading about them will be relating to them way more, by the time they get there.

#2, Pit Your OC and the Canon Cast Against an Irredeemable Villain

Nothing gets people on the side of some rando faster than a villain who is so unstoppable, so cruel, so utterly loathsome, the readers can't help but cheer on anyone who would stand against them. It doesn't have to be some all-powerful megalomaniac, either. Evil ex-girlfriends work great for this one. The slimier and more despicable the better!

#3, Torture Your OC (Kinky)

The author's barely hidden fetish suddenly comes out to ensnare the new guy and simultaneously flips a sexy switch in some readers' minds that makes them say "That's kinda hot". Is this one a bit unethical? Probably.

#4, Torture Your OC (Non-Kinky)

If you're not into sexual Jedi mind-tricks, then good old-fashioned antagonizing of fictional characters works wonders to bring an audience to care about someone, no matter how real they may be. Bonus points if they die (see tip #7).

Advanced Tricks:

#5, Make Your OC Insanely Attractive

This one needs to be handled with care, as making a character attractive and making them believably so, are two different things. Some readers straight up hate it when someone is described as too-pretty, too-popular, too-rich, or too-famous, so it usually takes time and a little finesse.

#6, Make Your OC Save the Day

As with the attractive-factor, you gotta score points in believability before you can just let this one happen. People don't like OCs who take the spotlight away from the canon cast until they've earned the right to do so. That said, if you do manage to pull this off, you may be rewarded with that rare and wonderful thing -- your OC having its own fanbase.

#7, Make Your OC Dead

If your fairly-likable character dies at the end of the story, you might find people elevating them to very-likable martyr status. That said, if your OC wasn't worth rooting for, for the entire time they were in your fanfic, don't expect their untimely demise to redeem them. Big gamble, all things considered, and you pretty much have to assure they're going to stay dead for at least one story arc... But people *do* tend to view the dearly departed in a more forgiving light, even if they're not real.

As was stated in the introduction, a lot of these do not make up for good storytelling and solid character development, but they can be great in addition to all that. Too, you may want to combine some of them, and see what kind of results you get. And as always, the longer an audience knows someone, the more they tend to trust them. Therefore, if you want to follow one big piece of advice and plan to go the distance anyway, then please... Don't stop writing their story!

[headcanonasks]

Villain Whump Prompts

Things have been a little slow, so I decided it’s time to post some villain-centric whump prompts! Below are two lists, one for a villain caretaker and one for a villain whumpee. 

Feel free to use these prompts for fanfiction or original fiction! Consider tagging me though- I’d love to see what you’ve written!

Villain Caretaker

One of the villain’s lackeys or subordinates dies (most likely in a confrontation with the hero or the authorities) and leaves behind a scared dependent whumpee (ex. A child) who the villain must become a caretaker for.

A hero whumpee is tortured by a new villain and escapes but can only make it to villain caretaker’s doorstep before passing out.

Villain caretaker leaves a loved one whumpee with the heroes, believing their sense of morality will prevent them from harming whumpee. However, when villain caretaker returns for whumpee, they find that a vengeful ally of the hero (whumper) has hurt whumpee. Bonus points if whumpee leaves their encounter with whumper with a scar.

The one, the only, the classic: “Who did this to you?” Villain caretaker says.

Villain Whumpee

Caretaker is forced to leave whumpee when they need them most, leading to whumpee’s descent into a villain. Caretaker unexpectedly returns at the height of whumpee’s villain arc.

The final battle leaves villain whumpee scarred and defeated but things only get worse when they return to their superior, who takes it upon themselves to punish villain whumpee. Villain whumpee is only saved by the hero, who steps in as caretaker and vows revenge on the villain whumpee’s superior.

A villain whumpee who’s aware they’re fictional begs the author to end it all. They don’t even notice when caretaker approaches them, but caretaker eventually soothes villain whumpee. Bonus points if this leads to the caretaker’s own revelation that they’re fictional.

Nice and simple: “Where’s that cocky grin now?” Whumper smirks.

[its-me-vixen]

Hazbin Hotel OC designs! Self inserts of my partner and myself, “Birch” the Overlord and “Valley” his favorite toy 🧸

Finding it out that sinners only live in Pride bummed me out bc I wanted Valley to be a denizen of Lust originally. It took way more attempts and time studying how the color palettes in the Hellaverse work than I would like to admit lol I ended up taking a reference direct from the show to sample colors from to get the direct tones because it kept seeming too saturated, but I’m very happy with the end result. I have such respect for people who can adapt to these kinds of styles so quickly, this took me over a week of back and forth lol simplifying and adjusting the design too!! That was a challenge.

And then Lucifer had the same horn & flame design as Birch!! Which is something my husband has done for their main demon sona for 20 years lol What a perfect coincidence!! I have some naughty ideas for them as well as wholesome lol I imagine Valley worked for Valentino at some point but had her contract bought out by a favorite client to be a private pet, though she still goes to Val to film specialty projects and collaborates as a special guest on occasion. I want to do art where it’s like, an advertising campaign for Love Potions.

Birch on the other hand is a more self-contained demon who forges contracts for defense of his territory similar to how Rosie maintains hers, but with himself being more withdrawn from the community. But those under his protection live relatively calm lives. He maintains a standing army of fierce warriors from many times and locations during their lives, providing community for their families, training, and more. He is a sadist, though, and those that cross him are met with much less kind treatment. I imagine maybe they have semi underground torture clubs and he keeps his own private torture chambers. Valley likes to watch 💕 He doesn’t keep any other personal pets, though owns a variety of souls for a variety of reasons.

Bonus doodles since I succeeded in making characters I could actually redraw. Hopefully I’ll enjoy drawing them more!!

Thinking about OC lore for the first time in a hot second haha

Birch gets his name from maintaining a Birch Forest around his mansion, trees sporting symbols representing those under contract. I imaging Valley has her own pink birch in a courtyard within the mansion grounds bc I’m a romantic ofc His true name is unknown. Her name comes from “Vixen Valentine” and derived from the phrase Valley Girl, human name long forgotten as she’s embraced her life in Hell.

She has advanced healing and a light type of hypnosis that can charm others, particularly those attracted to her, but not for much more than something like buying her a drink, or being more interested in doing her favors. She can fight with twin lightweight blades or knives, as opposed to Birch who’s a heavy sword user, though is well skilled in combat of many types; he likes to learn from new warriors he contracts.

She’s a masochistic brat mostly bottom, and he’s sadistic dom top, both bi.

Anyways!! That’s it for them for now!! I’m hoping to flesh them out some more bc this all came pretty easily and I’m really liking them 💕

[herearedragons]

....okay, time to unpack Lost in Dreams.

So I've already talked (a lot) about how just fighting through the Tower is going to have some lasting effects on Kyana, but then I got to the Fade.

A while back, I was thinking about why Kyana, with her interest in learning as much magic as possible, never learns shapeshifting from Morrigan. I decided that the reason was because shapeshifting makes her uncomfortable, which kind of tracks with her personality; shapeshifting requires flexibility and the ability to deeply understand other creatures, which are not her strong suits.

So, playing the Fade section, I decided that the same goes for Fade shapeshifting: she hates it. She uses it as a tool, but she's extremely uncomfortable being a mouse or a giant rock thing or a dude on fire instead of just being herself. And the way I played the first half of the Fade ended up kind of aligning with that; Kyana's spells were so good for this particular situation (virulent walking bomb + petrify/stonefist instakill in particular were a great combo) that I barely used shapeshifting in combat - until I did.

Eventually, I did begin to run into scenarios that were clearly designed for a specific form, like a room with two Arcane Horrors that kill you instantly unless you use the magic-resistant spirit form, or clusters of far-away enemies that can be easily taken out with the burning man's fireball (Kyana still doesn't have any elemental AoEs), or getting swarmed by enemies in close combat and panic-transforming into a golem and swinging and swinging and swinging until there's no one left standing. (bonus points for getting swarmed by other golems)

And that's when I remembered a really old headcanon that I came up with on the original Kyana playthrough: that being trapped in the Fade changes her. It's fine at first, but nightmare after nightmare, corridor after corridor, having to become things she's not and fight and consume things in the Fade to keep going, she starts to lose her sense of self a little bit. The transformations become easier, but she uses her original form less. She becomes numb to the twisted permutations of the Tower. She keeps going ang going ang going with a single-minded purpose of destroying this prison, and when she finally finds her party members again, it takes her a moment to recognize them.

And if I'm already going there, I thought it'd be fun to give the party a moment sometime towards the end of Lost in Dreams where this becomes really apparent. One idea I had is having her transform when freeing a party member and then have trouble transforming back. The first one she found happened to be Zevran, so it would be a cool callback if, for example, she got stuck in the golem form after defeating his torturers and the sight of the Dalish gloves she gave him reminded her of who she was. Or it could be a moment at the very end of the quest, when all of the party is together again, so that everyone has to contribute to bringing her back. Wynne and Alistair are actually the people who know her best at that point, so it would be cool to give them a chance to say something to her.

I like this story point, tbh. It makes sense; Kyana's mental state is already not great when she enters the Fade, and then she has to fight alone through several versions of the Tower being destroyed over and over again, and let herself be changed by it in order to survive. She comes out faster, stronger, more powerful, and... different. It's just too much. She's still a young mage, and she's doing what, apparently, even older and more experienced enchanters couldn't pull off. Something has to give at some point.

I have more to say about that and also the rest of Broken Circle and saving Connor, but this post is already really long, so I'll just make another one later.

[mmx-code-crimpphire]

Headcanon - My brief interpretation of Omega

Sooooo, I’ve been meaning to talk about Omega being a thing in this AU for quite a while now.

I’ll also make a part 2 to this, but I’ll make it brief so I won’t spoil when he comes in the AU. So hopefully you'll enjoy my interpretation of Omega at least lol

NEW CHAPTER ON AO3

Basically he’s kind of a ruthless son of a bitch. I mean, if we look at Megaman Zero 3, we know he is just by looking at him, and being cocky because he’s “the messiah”.

Well, personality wise, you’ll find out my Omega is definitely like this. But he has way more dimension to his personality than that. Since, iirc in MMZ3, he only appears in that boss battle and we don’t get much background on him other than he was the original Zero, and Zero’s original body before Dr Weil got a hold of him and shit.

Yeah, for my Omega, his origins are different, of course. And he does start manifesting in the AU, but I’ll let you guess where he does and you can go from there until the reveal~.

From here, I will talk about detailed descriptions of violence and certain other sensitive themes that are vaguely mentioned, so if you want to skip some of that, now’s your chance.

Personality wise, he’s not only ruthless, but he’s very vain and a sadistic bastard. In more ways than you’d ever imagine. He has very sick ways of tearing anyone apart. Doesn’t matter if they are machine or human. He’ll kill anyone who’s a target, gets in his way, or just to have amusement.

He has enjoyment in torturing his victims before killing them outright. Either tearing their limbs apart or slicing through the victim’s skin and tearing it from there. Even removing vital organs or hardware parts to make them suffer however long he wants to see them be until he kills them.

He even has a… certain thing he likes doing. I won’t go into detail about that but it’s pretty graphic, gruesome, and sickly twisted like him. It’s a part of his sadistic games. I won’t bluntly say it, but I'll talk about it at some point. Maybe. When I'm brave enough to reveal it at some point. Then it'll probably be an AO3 exclusive, but YEAH.

He does have the idea of wanting to be the messiah, but he just wants to take over the world, something Wily has wanted for the longest time. He won’t take orders from anyone, not even his own creator. Which, we can already figure out lmao. Bass already does that, as well as a few other DWNs and becoming wanderers as a bonus. So, technically, you could say it runs in the family lol.

He also likes to uh- “flirt''. Anyone he finds out who crushes on him in some sort of weird way, he likes to scare the shit out of those people and call them “dollface”. Mainly just to vaguely warn them to run before he wants to make personal fun out of them. Yeeeaaah uh- he be a beasty boy, and DEFINITELY not in a good way lmao.

Anyway, that’s basically it for now. Hopefully I covered it well enough for Omega to be recognized as very dangerous and not to be messed with. So, I hope that covers it for now until he develops in the AU when I progress through the fic~.

[rocksrntpeople]

MCU Rewatch - The Incredible Hulk

There are many people who are begging for a proper go at the origin story for the Hulk. The Incredible Hulk shows how Bruce Banner, a brilliant scientist, got wrapped up in his own hubris (and the U.S. military), had a horrible accident, went on the run (from the U.S. military),  and finally ended up in Brazil where he got a job and anger management training. All in all, a pretty good introduction for the Hulk on paper. On the screen? This all happens within about 45 seconds.

So you watch this intro and then see Banner sipping a drink and taking a deep breath, and it just feels like the movie is staring you right in the eyes, whispering, Fin.

WHAT THE FUCK.

What the fuck else am I supposed to watch now? You just told me all of the interesting bits, minus the interesting part. I felt like Mason in Black Ops, just getting flashed with images that I just know mean something, are part of something I heard about long ago, but I just can’t tell what it all means.

So this movie begins with visual torture and is immediately followed up by about a hundred questions that are way more interesting than anything that’s actually part of the plot.

What was the incident that happened 158 days earlier? The lab, or something closer to Banner’s current location?

Who the hell is his trainer? Does he know he’s the Hulk? Did he find him after an incident?

Matter of fact, how long has it been since he ran away?

Who is that gorgeous chick??

Literally none of these questions are answered. There are different implied timelines for the initial incident, with both 5 months and 3 years thrown around. My guess is that his initial incident happened 3 years ago and 5 months earlier was whatever happened that got him in Brazil. It’s honestly not even worth Googling.

After you’ve been pumped through the first, and most engaging, half hour of the movie, suffering from story whiplash and generally confused as to where the movie thinks it's going…

…you’ll finally arrive at the point where the movie begins to beat you over the head with the fact that Bruce Banner is Hulk.

Yay.

Where Iron Man was perfectly orchestrated to amplify everything about him through small details that really fit his personality and his world, The Incredible Hulk manages to mirror Banner’s slapped-in existence in some random ghetto. 

I mean, how many Hulk-green pieces of cloth are actually hanging in the world? Because I think at least half of them are in this specific Brazilian slum. I mean, even the fucking soda being bottled is god damn gamma green. I bet the producers were like, “Oh yeah, that looks sick with the blood in it; just like how Hulk happened probably!”

And honestly, the rest of the movie is BORING. Holy shit, this is a clear example of what superhero movies were before Iron Man. Both movies were in production at the same time, as they released within months of each other, so it seems pretty clear that the whole Marvel team weren’t sure how this whole, “just make it like the comic book” thing was gonna work out with Iron Man. 

Probably shouldn’t have countered with one of the least relatable characters in Marvel who’d also just had a horrific flop of a movie less than ten years earlier, huh?

I mean, obviously some people are going to enjoy the rest of this movie. I’ve mentioned before that I’m actually not a huge fan of action movies. They’re boring. I see why people watch them; it’s the same reason I still love isekai anime; but they’re all the same:

“Omg, some military guy is doing something horrible and one guy is simultaneously wrapped up in it and the target of this military guy, and since this is an action flick, literally no one on the planet — no law enforcement, no governments, no other high-ranking military guy — can stop them except for this unassuming guy who, again, helped (or at least failed to stop) the military guy be evil in the first place.”

The Incredible Hulk does all of this and then has the added bonus of trying to redeem the military guy who almost kidnapped a man and threw him in a hole because he refused to commit crimes against humanity.

Yep, they find an even eviler guy who wants raw power to combat Hulk and lead a new age of super-soldier slaves that definitely would never be approved by anyone and would definitely violate the Geneva convention.

Also, can we talk about the “raw power” trope. Who the fuck wants raw anything?! Even fucking raw dogging ends up with a disease or a kid half the time, so what the fuck is with this “raw power” shit? Does anyone actually think that if they were the strongest person on the planet, but looked like a horrifying monster, that they would be able to do anything significant besides get killed? What’s the end goal there? You become all-powerful, a horrifying monster, win everything and then…go to Disney? Guess what fuckwit, you’re too big to even get through the gates. Have fun with sex too; you weigh like 3 tons now, so hopefully they make car sized fleshlights. Oh, and don’t even ask how much you have drink and smoke just to get a quick hit of vertigo.

This is the kind of shit that completely takes me out of action movies, but not out of superhero movies (because they often answer these kinds of questions, or at least don’t ignore them! We’ll talk about this more when Thanos shows up). And it’s this kind of shit that makes The Incredible Hulk incredibly bad.

On top of all of this. On top of all of the in-your-face symbolism, the dual villains who have completely lost touch with reality and how the world works, the lack of ingenuity and originality, and the missing origins for this origin story.

This movie was horribly cast.

Liv Tyler, William Hurt, Edward Norton, Lou fucking Ferrigno — it’s tough to see how this cast could fail, but they managed it.

Honestly, their acting wasn’t bad, it just totally didn’t fit…with anything! There was no chemistry between any characters, good or bad. The most human interaction we see is when he’s quietly working in the bottling factory. Even as he’s being interrogated and threatened, Norton doesn’t look anything but confident that he’s going to have lunch with Hurt later.

Overall, this movie was plagued by fear. Fear that people didn’t want another Hulk movie, fear that Iron Man would be a total misfire, fear that without big names behind the film nobody would be willing to watch it, fear that the origin story of the Hulk had been overdone.

In truth, Hulk’s story was essentially perfected in the minds of millions with the TV show from the 70’s. Even though many of us are not fans, when this movie came out that’s all anyone was talking about (we had societally agreed not to discuss Hulk); it’s part of the reason they got Lou Ferrigno again, to garner trust with the fans. But, it’s tough to beat perceived perfection, as we will all probably find out when they start trying to remake these movies in a few decades. Tbf though, they could have tried a little harder.

In addition to this, the unreasonably-angry-and-overbearing-military-guy trope is on its way out. It’s just totally unrealistic and annoying to have so much power being put behind such blatant disregard for diplomacy, money, and the most basic sense of humanity, plus of course they always have to throw in a woman to be verbally/physically abused by this character archetype and that’s just not fun to watch (it never was).

While I now agree that Hulk has been done dirty by the MCU as far as origins go, there’s no way to go back now. A new origin movie would flop almost as much as the Black Widow movie and have about as much substance. We can always hope for a redemptive movie for Hulk; there are only about a hundred reasons why the Hulk should not have a standalone movie at all.

My verdict: 2/10 

If you want to stay true to the MCU and/or if you have someone in your life who isn’t into superhero movies but likes action films, watch The Incredible Hulk as part of an MCU rewatch. If you aren’t doing a full rewatch, just watch the first 2 minutes and you’ll have a better experience.

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Next week is Iron Man 2. We do see him at the end of The Incredible Hulk, where he mentions “putting together a team”, apparently inviting this military guy? But not really, because why the fuck would he even be in cahoots with a big weapons enthusiast?? Also, spoiler alert: this general is not in the Avengers.

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Anyways, I truly remember nothing about Iron Man 2 so…

I’m sure it’s fine.

[bixxelated]

behold, a writing meme

Rules: List five things you never get tired of writing; it can be tropes, themes, characters, phrases, whatever brings you joy. (Optional: Then tag people!)

tagged by @marypsue and i am so gleefully excited to get into this. if i had more time/opportunity id probably write like 100 of these but meanwhile if you want to see more of my dubious excellent taste just looking in my writing tropes tag (unless its accompanied by the 'i dont like' tag)

1) Alternate Universes (or Universe Alternates?)

For want of a nail a kingdom was GAINED. i love making changes to a series that end up creating long-lasting consequences. its especially fun to challenge the characters in different ways than what you see in the series. i never get tired of it :')

2) GEN FIC

being in fandom when you're not particularly interested in ships or the romance genre as a whole is absolute torture but when you find a good one you really hit JACKPOT. i love platonic soulmates i love found family i love codependance i love no man's an island i love fics where spells/curses/etc are broken by PLANTONIC friendships bc!! they love each other and its just as valid as romantic relationships if not MORE!!!! similarly if i write for a ship or particular interaction its because there's something about their dynamic that i love that may not particularly be romantic in nature, per se.

3) Not What They Seem

this is particularly prevalent whenever i write fantasy or the like but i really like making characters who weren't originally part of it in canon now part of the Masquerade. theyre werewolves, theyre shapeshifters, theyre gods, theyre monsters, theyre witches, who they are in the dark is Much More Than Anyone Else Realizes--idk its just fun to include a perspective that can lend itself to some more worldbuilding and weave it into the original story

4) Bastard characters

i say bastard but rest assured i mean this in a gender-varied way. theyre assholes, theyre annoying, theyre feral little gremlins, theyre Up to No Good and everyone either loves them or hates them (both in-story and out of it) but theres just something about a morally-dubious character whos a little shit that really appeals to me. bonus points if they got someone who they would ride-or-die for no questions asked, i eat that shit up (and write it as much as possible)

5) Iconic scenes

this is a bit hard to explain but im a very visual writer so i very much love to include scenes that are almost... cinematographic? so to speak? scenes where no words could be exchanged and they still take your breath away, scenes that absolutely carve themselves into memory when you read my fics. doesnt matter if its horrifying or breathtaking or thematically important, they just elevate the story that little bit more

--

i tag @sakurablossomcreamlatte @alzheimersparrotroute @khattikeri @mysterygreentea and anyone else who might be interested in doing this list! altho dont feel obligated to do it if you forget/dont want to

[thetrashbagswasteland]

Writer Tag ✒️✒️

Tagged by @otemporanerys, thanks!

What's your total word count on AO3?

On Ao3 is 212,858, most of which has been in the last 9 months so not bad 😂 (and there's some 40k of oneshot and WIP sitting my folders too)

Do you have a routine for writing?

In the evening, usually after dinner, I sit down with my headphones on and play one of my spotify playlists at high volume for at least an hour with minimal interruptions. That'll usually let me get out 1.5k words in an evening, though I can do a lot more if the scene vibes.

What is your favourite trope / pairing?

Trope: I'm an absolute sucker for a good Soulmate AU

Pairing: I have too many pairings to give one answer but it's a toss-up between Shakarian and Castis Vakarian/Avitus Rix currently (what can I say, I've committed to the rarepair lifestyle 😂)

Favourite fic (of yours)

"'Your Dad Is My Cardio' And Other Torture Tactics From The Desk Of Avitus Rix, Spectre" is perhaps the piece that I can re-read most happily, because it's goddamn hilarious crack (which was my original wheelhouse)

Fic with the most kudos

Project Sunseeker unsurprisingly wins with 337 kudos (at the same time it kinda should do since it represents a massive portion of my published content). I'm always surprised that some of my old voltron works continue to get kudos though - it's a bit like having buried the dog in the garden but still finding muddy pawprints on the kitchen floor.

Is there anything you don't like about your writing?

It sounds trite to say "my writing" but that's pretty much it. This year has been a hard year for having to re-read my own stuff because I see every error or thing I could have done better. It used to be that dialogue was my weak point but now I'd definitely say I struggle with fights/action.

Now something you do like

I always feel very clever when I manage to foreshadow something, or when I can call back to a previous chapter. Laying a trail and then having people go "hah, I knew it!" whilst others go "whoa I did NOT see that coming" is just an added bonus.

Tagging @comeoniwantacoolname @sparatus @korblez if y'all haven't been tagged already!

[tytach]

As a big fan of the Daredevil from the netflix show, one thing I'm really concerned about his return in the MCU is that we lose what made him such an interesting character. Marvel has had a tendency to go more light-hearted recently, which doesn't align with the Daredevil we've been introduced to. So I watched the latest episode of She-Hulk, and here's my thoughts on Matt's return.

She-Hulk spoilers below the cut.

First of all, I understand that She-Hulk has been a really light-hearted and carefree show so far. So it's obvious to me that DD being introduced in that context will have an impact on his characterization, and I'll adapt my commentary based on that. As desapointing as it is, I am not expecting a Matt as profound and tortured as the one from season 3. Here are the notes I took alongside the episode.

Fight between Jen and Matt: fun! And we can see that Matt is having fun too. We know he has a tendency to put himself in danger, near suicidal sometimes, so fighting a Hulk would defintely give him his adrenaline spike of the month and I can believe he would enjoy it. He might be a bit too open about it though. I have a big issue with how good he looks at fighting. As in, the movements are too fluid, it’s obvious they’re CG. He’s too graceful. I would expect that kind of moves from Spidey, not a DD who doesn’t have heightened agility. The original show was more gruff, the stunts were made by real people and there was more weight to the moves, and to me it’s a loss that we don’t have that here. The fight was still fun to watch though. Bonus point for Matt being disorientated after a blow to his hearing.

Matt’s suit: I’m divided on it. It’s a nod to the very first suit from the comics and I appreciate that. I really do. However, in the previous show it’s been established Matt is aiming to create fear in his ennemies. We had that with the first black suit, then the full red devil suit. Yellow and red though, I find that less fear inducing, so it’s a bit of a loss on the character in my opinion.

Matt being flirty: Matt and beautiful women. It’s been established he’s a charmer. This def gets a pass (even though I’m team Karen).

Matt being corny: that one itches me in the wrong spot. I find that out of character in most instances. "He’s lying. Don’t ask me how I know, I just know smirks". Why would he say that in court except to match the light hearted tone of the show and tell us, the viewers, "yes, that guy has powers too", which is not aligned with the DD we know? I don't mind a joke here and there, but corniness only gets a pass when he's flirting. Not in serious situations.

Also I’m not too sure about Matt being so lenient about his secret identity and his senses. Even if Jen is also an attorney and a super-hero. Matt is a vigilante. If his identity gets leaked, it's not only him that will be sentenced to prison, but most likely Karen and Foggy too (assuming they exist in this reality and know about Matt's nighttime activites.)

THE USE OF DAREDEVIL’S THEME KSOEUHIEUHPIUTH I know you’re trying to get me in the feels, Marvel, and it’s working.

Where’s his gruff Daredevil voice though

Corridor fight: ok, now we have DD. Even if that corridor fight wasn't a corridor fight(TM). Love that the batons are back. Still can’t explain how DD could knock that guy out with his baton without even being the room though.

Overall I had a good time watching the episode. Matt's characterization was a bit lacking, but it was to be expected seeing the context he's reintroduced into. It was nice to see him a bit more light-hearted than we're used to though. However I would have really appreciated it even more if his Daredevil personna stuck closer to what we know. Yes Daredevil is broody and very garded. I don't mind that he looses that façade once Jen knows his identity, but at the beginning it would have been nicer to see the Daredevil we know (as well as later on in the final fight against the goons). I'm still worried about how much of the netflix show will be canon in the upcoming retconned show. And, ngl, I'm still worried we won't get back what made Daredevil such an amazing and unique series; even though I've kind of grieved season four by now. Rest in peace, amazing storyline gone too soon. I hope your descendents will honor your memory and stay true to your essence (even though I don't really believe it'll happen anymore.)