#bpd diagnosis

[mothseatinghumanflesh]

[bpd-fueled-thoughts]

My existence is literally screeching "STOP IT" at myself when my emotions begin to build.

And then I get told "just talk to me about your emotions! You'll feel so much better!" and it's so wild that my brain takes that and turns it into "no, mom was right. You're too much. You're always too much. Your emotions, your feelings, your thoughts, your existence is a burden to everyone around you. Never talk about it. Never feel. Never talk."

[bl0w-m3]

𝓑𝓞𝓡𝓓𝓔𝓡𝓛𝓘𝓝𝓔 𝓟𝓔𝓡𝓢𝓞𝓝𝓐𝓛𝓘𝓣𝓨 𝓓𝓘𝓢𝓞𝓡𝓓𝓔𝓡

Side note: if you are not diagnosed with this disorder but relate to any/all of the symptoms, please do further research and speak to a personal mental health provider! (I know medical diagnosis is out of question for some people with certain healthcare, but please do a lot of research before self-diagnosing!)

Borderline Personality Disorder, commonly abbreviated to BPD, is a cluster B personality disorder characterized by unstable mood, behavior and relationships. Stemming from long-term abuse, BPD affects how one sees themself and others to the detriment of that person. It sounds very clean cut and simple, but it’s far from.

With BPD comes severe emotional instability and fluctuation of self-image. Unlike people with Bipolar (a chemical disorder with symptoms very similar to BPD) who’s mood fluctuates over longer spans of time, people with Borderline’s self image and emotions can change from minute to minute. People with borderline feel emotions at a much higher intensity than those without. Not just sad, but suicidal. Not just happy but euphoric. There is no “gray” in emotional states. These emotional scan fluctuate from minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day or week to week. Emotion is also highly dependent on environmental factors such as friends and family. Whether one feels as if they have a “god complex” or so depressed they are suicidal, there is usually an external factor causing the stress or euphoria.

An extreme example of this, and another trait of BPD, includes having what the community like to call a “Favorite Person (FP)”. When somebody with BPD has a FP, they center their entire sense of self around that person. That one person become their emotional world, and often times need constant reassurance from this person due to fear of abandonment.

Fear of abandonment plays a very important role as well. People with Borderline usually have a very intense fear of being left behind or “thrown away”. This usually stems from the trauma that caused the BPD itself. Unfortunately, abandonment can happen more often for people experiencing BPD due to their nature to jump in and out of relationships (both platonic and romantic) and they’re extreme emotional needs that other often cannot meet.

Another part of BPD is known as “mirroring”. One of the reasons Borderline persons have an unstable self image is because it often changes based on who they’re around. Likely due to the fear of abandonment and the already unstable self image, and person with BPD can slightly or drastically change their personality, mannerisms, and even interests depending on who they’re in contact with.

As far a unstable relationships, people with borderline often find it hard to maintain safe and stable relationships, often viewing them as “completely good” or “completely bad”, also known as black-and-white thinking, also known as “splitting”.

Impulsivity is another characteristic, with sufferers often making impulsive and irrational decisions. This impulsiveness is usually towards things that cause harm such as Self Mutilation, Eating Disorders, and substance abuse. This all contributes to the person trying to manage their feelings of instability.

The disorder is also accompanied by intense feelings of anger, paranoia, dissociation/derealization, and stress.

Many in the community describe having BPD as the emotional equivalent of having 3rd degree burns over your entire body. It’s an extremely intense disorder that many don’t make it through.

If you’re experiencing symptoms and feel alone, please reach out. Somebody would rather hear your story than go to your funeral.

More information:

Borderline Personality Disorder - The Mayo Clinic

Borderline Personality Disorder - NLM (Box 2 for Diagnostic Criteria)

Borderline Personality Disorder Forum!

[bury-me-alive]

I don’t even know what’s worst

Having bpd or bipolar II

I just want all this shit to go away

[xxarsenicblazexx]

BPD culture is waking up to your boyfriend smiling at his phone and the moment he sees you he cuts it off and puts his phone away, but that instantly makes you think something shady is going on and he's talking to someone else and he's going to leave.

[alcoholicyoungadult]

Coping with BPD

My therapist smiles at me when she asks me if I ever considered that I have BPD.

I was offended; appalled; that anyone could accuse me of being so awful.

She read me the symptoms. One by one, I shook my head when she looked at me inquisitively.

Tears welled in my eyes with each word she said, until I was sobbing harder and harder up to number nine.

Complete shock went through my body. The same shock that I felt when I ran that red light on the last day of the year, 2020.

The color drained out of my face. The realization that I'm not perfect like everyone expects me to be.

The validation that life is real and I am real. It hit me the same way I hit that truck.

The GA state patrol officer asked me, are you drunk, ma'am?

Gee golly wiz officer, I wish I had an excuse that good.

No sir, I said. I have a health condition. Where am I?

And the therapist took my hand while I sobbed. In her chair that felt so far away. It felt like she was reaching over a river of my tears.

[sadpostsgae]

Does noone hear me?

I need help. I needed help. I have always needed help. Its like I'm speaking another language. Why does noone understand?!

Why am I like this?!

[bpdshan]

hey, which country do you live in? how did you get your diagnoses?

uk! im gonna assume ur referring specifically to bpd (pls correct me if i’m wrong tho), which i got diagnosed with by my CAMHS psychiatrist at 14, 9 years ago.

because of my age at the time, it was diagnosed as “emerging borderline personality disorder”, and lost the “emerging” part once i hit adulthood.

initially, i had brought up bpd with my regular CBT therapist and since she was familiar with me and my symptoms already, she was pretty on board and in agreement with it from the get-go.

still, she had no authority over a diagnosis so it took a few months for her reviews to reach the psychiatrist before i was finally assessed and diagnosed. he was VERY skeptical because of my age (basically he kept talking abt hormones/puberty and how that could make me emotional, but i don’t think hormones make people land in hospital after experiencing minor inconveniences and minor rejection and hear voices etc….u know how it is) and honestly the guy was a bit of a dickhead….. but i got it in the end and i still could not agree with the diagnosis more.

best of luck !!

[tinysubgf]

just r3L4p$3D minorly and my bf is clueless lowkey perfect but lowkey wish he would notice bc i need h3lp

[loon-ybin]

my therapist did me absolutely no good by giving me a possibility of having BPD but not exploring it any further... honestly I kinda don't think I have it but it would mean the world to me knowing that (even though it's not an excuse) mental illness is the reason why I was so toxic in relationships

[thingsidonttellmytherapist]

Me using my DBT skills:

*Does intense exercise* OH MY GOD I FEEL SO GOOD ALL OF A SUDDEN

*3 hours later*

Oh no, the big sad is back...

[mothseatinghumanflesh]

[bordelineuser]

What no one tells you about BPD is that you reach such a point of crisis that you finally understand that you are destined to be alone or you will continue to harm people, that you are no good for anyone, but no one can be good for you, you understand that this shit will be with you for life.

#bpd #bpd diagnosis #bpd stuff #bpd awareness #bpd things #bpd mood #bpd blog #bpd fp #fp bpd #bpd attachment

[bonelessenthusiast]

I was diagnosed with autism as a child so should I wear a suit to my bpd diagnosis instead

[xxarsenicblazexx]

BPD culture is getting a text from your partner while they're in a several hour long class that says they cant be on their phone and then checking your snap a couple hours later, only to see they were on 15 minutes ago so now your questioning if they're even in the class, who they're talking to if they cant seem to text you, and you can already feel yourself want to split.