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seapandora · 4 years

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Fierce (Part 1?)

Avengers x oc!Rexy, (I honestly haven´t decided on what the final ship will be if there will be one…, also kinda oc!reader)

A/N: I started writing this as a reader x Steve fic but it just works better with an OC. I tried my best to not be too descriptive. This is sorta following the Avengers movies, not the comics. Probably no mention of the guardians… or maybe of Rocket and Groot but they get a pass in my book. Lastly, Ive got no clue wether this will be a series or not. Depends on how its received. So if you wanna see more, reblog and like. I don't own Marvels characters, this is just a fic, nothing more. Enjoy reading it. Thanx <3

Warnings: Anxiety, Blood, Probably some character-distress, slow burn, probably some character death along the road.

Words: 3019

Steve, oh sorry… Captain America… The world's golden boy and everyone's favorite Avenger. Well, everyone, except the Avengers, favorite Avenger. He was always so correct and he drilled the others quite hard, to the point where they had all thought of ways to take him out. Not that that was an easy task. He was a supersoldier. He had superspeed, superstrength, and well, he was quite agile. Bucky was a good sparring match because he also had the supersoldier serum. Those weren´t the only two with it though. They had a third supersoldier on the team, Rexy. Although the serum was the same as Steve and Buckys, Rexys had been spliced with genome from different animals who possessed certain abilities. While Rexy had no real clue as too how Hydra had created the "improved" serum, she now knew what it contained. Mostly thanks to Bruce, who had taken a blood sample when she was taken to the compound. Turned out she had genomes from a cuttlefish, those genes had proven to give her the ability to blend into any kind of background. She also had genes from a pit viper, which essentially gave her the ability to detect people's heat-signatures.

In all honesty, Rexy was a genetic freak, and it was clear that the scientists had been very keen on the whole Jurassic World deal seeing as the genes they had been using had also been used to create the fictional Indominus Rex. That had essentially gotten Sam to give her the nickname Rexy, and Rexy didn't mind. She had never provided any other name and wasn't about to start now that she had stayed with the team for a few years. It would be weird. Steve had been the first one to approach Rexy when she was found, but she had shied away from him. He had thought he could understand her, but he realized how wrong he was when Bucky told him that it was very different to be injected with something out of free will, compared to being injected against your will. Bucky had started to speak Russian and while Rexy hadn´t understood a word, she knew who Bucky was. She had seen his picture millions of times and had heard how he betrayed and left Hydra. That led to Rexy trusting Bucky to keep her safe. She had never heard of Steve before, only Captain America, and she hadn´t made the connection at that point.

For a while, Rexy didn't speak to anyone, not even Bucky. Mostly because he kept speaking to her in Russian and she didn't understand a word. Eventually one day she had asked to be allowed to make a phone call. She had spoken perfect English and the Avengers had all been frozen in their spots when she spoke up. After that, she was able to bond with each and every one of them in a unique way. She had always been the most comfortable around Bucky and Sam because they never put any pressure on her. The same went with Natasha who had become like an older sister to Rexy. Rexy had also quickly bonded with Peter who had become a very close friend of hers. That lead to the Avengers finding out that she was only four years older than Peter and that she had been taken at the young age of 12. Once they realized that Tony made sure to get her into a homeschooling program that the Avengers would help her with. Bucky and Steve worked with her on history, Sam on current conflicts of the world. Natasha helped her learn computers and programs. Bruce helped Rexy with chemistry and Tony worked with her on physics. Wanda helped her with psychology and Vision provided his knowledge whenever someone lacked information. She had gone through her missed years in just under two years and had applied for college. When she knew she had a spot she talked to Tony to see if he could get her a program she could follow from the compound. She wasn't comfortable around others and just felt the safest when she could be in her own space.

Tony had taken care of it all and Rexy was reading three different programs. She was like Tony, a workaholic and she hated not having something to do, and currently, she wasn't allowed on missions. She had had a bit of a tantrum a few weeks which had resulted in a lot of destruction and Steve with a black eye when he tried to calm her down. Rexy was still extremely embarrassed by the whole ordeal and she hated that she had hurt Steve even if he was completely healed after three days. She hated just thinking about it. Back to her studies, she liked having a lot on her plate and she was studying psychology, chemical engineering, and computer science. She wasn't an overly intelligent human freak, but she was interested and that took her more than halfway to her goal, most of the time. And now that she had a lot of time on her hands she made sure to keep up with everything and not fall behind on her studies. The Avengers all tried to help her, but often Rexy would just stare at them until they shut up, and then she´d kindly say she´d ask for help if she needed it. Mostly she talked to Natasha or Tony about stuff she found hard with her computer science courses, but she often asked Peter as well. They usually did most of their homework together or just sat and studied together.

Today just so happened to be one of those study days. Summer break had just started and technically Peter didn't have to study, however, he was still doing the "Stark Internship" and for his teachers to accept it he had to write a larger report on Starks technics, and how some of them worked. Tony had given Peter some parts that didn't do much for him and that wouldn't be a security risk if it leaked. Not that Peter would ever be that stupid. Rexy would trust Peter with anything. Sure he could be a bit of a talker but he had a pure heart and could challenge Steve for being the kindest and most caring human being on the planet. Or should he be called humanoid? He was part spider after all, right? Rexy was just finishing up an essay she had to write for her chemical engineering. It wasn't that hard, just a lot of work and she had put it off for a few days in favor of spending time with Shuri when she had come to visit. Shuri was of big help as well but seeing as she rarely visited them, she and Rexy rarely had time to talk about school or help each other. Mostly when they called they talked about boys or just T´Challa, Bucky, Sam, and Steve because it was fun to gossip about the old men.

Peter repeated his question and Rexy looked up. "Sorry, I was in a weird zone, care to repeat Pete?" She asked softly and blushed slightly at her antics. She usually didn't space out when someone was talking to her. He laughed but just shook his head. "Don't worry ´bout it. How´s the essay going, need anything? I was going to get something to drink and something to eat, you want anything?" He asked as he stood up. Rexy thought for a moment before she stood up as well. "I´ll just go with you." She answered knowing Peter would most likely forget something and then he´d be mad at himself. This way they could focus on what they wanted for themselves and then help each other back. She was always keeping an extra eye on Peter knowing he did suffer from a bit of anxiety. It didn't help that he was underage and fighting crime. It was a lot of pressure on a teenager. Rexy always figured that everyone stayed strong for her that she would repay them by staying strong for someone so important to them all and be his rock instead of the opposite way around. Yes, Rexy had missed a lot of her life as a teenager, but her years in Hydras´ grip had made her appreciate the small things in life and she didn't take anything for granted. She taught Peter to enjoy life while he still had it. It wasn't something you could get back later on, once you were gone you were gone. Peter had, because of Rexy, started to date MJ and he had started saying no to nightly patrols in favor of spending time with MJ.

Rexy didn't mind Peter spending a lot of time with MJ, she knew she always had him. She also had a lot of other things she had to do rather than think of Peter. She was an Avenger. Well, sort of at least. She hadn´t signed the papers, afraid that she would end up in another organization, like Hydra. She did however work as a consultant for the government. The American, and several other governments as well. She wasn't American by birth and didn't even have American citizenship. Hence why she didn't show loyalty to only the states. She was a freelancing superhero. She snapped out of her second daze in just a short time as Peter stood up and she followed his lead. She had gotten a call earlier during the day and she was leaving for a solo mission in just a few hours but she and Peter had planned this afternoon of studying for some time. Once they were all done she would be leaving though. So far only Natasha knew as she had been around when the call came. Rexy was hesitant to telling Peter she was leaving. Peter always worried about her and he wouldn't be able to relax until she got back and she didn't want that for him. He had a date with MJ the next day and Rexy wanted Peter to enjoy it.

They walked to the kitchen and Rexy got herself a cup of coffee and a soda. She needed the energy for the rest of the afternoon. She also got herself a FlapJack bar, one with summer berries. She waited for Peter to grab what he wanted for the afternoon before they began walking back towards the library. Rexy yawned a bit and hummed. It was a slow day and it made her slow and tired. She was in some weird way looking forward to the sleep she could get on the jet. She enjoyed sleeping on the jet, something about it was soothing. Rexy and Peter sat back down at the table and quickly emerged themselves back into their studying. Rexy began to type on her essay fairly quickly and within minutes she was in a flow. Her essay was actually on nanotechnology as a means of drug delivery in the human body. While Rexy wasn't necessarily supposed to make a case for a certain technology her professor had accepted her request to be allowed to create a drug delivery system that could work, with the help of nanotechnology. It had all been a success and the essay was mostly a discussion about potential issues her mechanic could have and whether it was more effective than traditional drug delivery. She was, in all honesty, very happy with her results and the way the essay was coming along. She was just hoping it would be accepted by her professor and that the reviewers wouldn´t be too harsh, even if that was the point. Rexy didn’t intend for her research to go mainstream and she had no interest in making it a reality. The technology was expensive and few countries would get access to it and in Rexy´s mind, everyone should have the same possibility to acquire the technology or no one should have it. The current techniques were acceptable and working, rich countries didn’t need another way of distributing drugs, not yet at least.

She typed up the last few paragraphs and emailed it to Bruce, who had promised to proofread it and think whether Rexy's arguments would hold or not. She noticed Peter was still stuck on one of his problems and leaned over to get a better look at it. Their relationship was incredible. They didn’t even need to talk to be able to communicate their issues. Rexy could see he was struggling and wanted her help. “Read the problem to me, and I´ll see if I can help.” She said softly and smiled at him as she leaned her head in her hand. “Okay, so… I have to calculate the momentum of a 2000 kilo elephant who´s running at 7.5 meters per second. Compare the momentum of the elephant to that of a 0.0400-kilo dart fired at 600 meters per second. And lastly, I have to calculate the momentum of a 90-kilo human running at 7.4 meters per second.” Peter explained and sighed softly Physics wasn’t his strong suit. The truth was it wasn’t Rexy´s either, but she had taken a course in basic physics just to understand some things that Bruce and Tony would talk about now and then.

“Okay so let's break each question up. The first question was about the elephant's momentum, right? So momentum is the mass times the velocity and you have both of those factors, right?” Rexy said and smiled. Peter nodded and quickly wrote up the equation as meve and continued by adding in the values he already had. Peter used his calculator to do the multiplication of 2000 times 7.50 and got the answer 15 000. “Cool, now let´s write that as a scientific notation instead. “ Rexy said and waited as Peter instead wrote the answer as 1.50 x 104. “And don’t forget what it is you’ve calculated, kg times meter per second.” She added to let Peter know he had to write out the SI-unit. “Okay, now the second question. Let´s calculate that the same way, to begin with, now that you’ve got how to calculate the momentum.” She said and smiled as she took a sip of her drink. It didn’t take Peter very long at all and he waited for Rexy to swallow her drink before he looked at her for help. “So comparing the two momentums… momenta?... oh well. You want to divide the momentum of the elephant by the momentum of the dart. So it will be 1.50 x 104 kg x m/s divided by 24.0 kg x m/s as that was the momentum of the dart.” She explained and pointed to his two previous answers. The more Peter thought of it the less hard this became. Maybe it was just hard because he was thinking of so many other things. He had the date with MJ in his head and he had a few exams coming up in the next few weeks. Peter did the math quickly and got the result 625 as he should. “Great, so if you'd want to put that sensibly for a test or so, you could write that the momentum of the elephant is 625 times the momentum of the dart because the elephant weighs much more than the dart,” Rexy explained with a quick shrug. She didn’t mind Peter asking her for help even if the problem wasn’t that hard. He always helped her with things that turned out to not be very hard.

“So last question. This is the thing you’ve done for both previous questions so why don’t you do it while I save up my file and I´ll check it in 2 minutes?” She asked and smiled at Peter before she turned to her laptop to save her current file and to open the email she had received from Hill with some assignment details. She quickly transferred those files to her file in Friday's head and made sure Friday would lock it up with a password. The password wasn’t that hard, but it was something the others didn’t know about her. Okay maybe Natasha knew, but she knew everything. She checked back in with Peter in precisely two minutes and smiled as he had done it correctly. “You got it.” She said and patted his arm. “Now if the questions get any harder, please don’t ask me, I suck at physics.” She chuckled and closed her laptop. “I gotta go, Pete… I have some stuff to do.” She said and frowned. “Oh, okay Rex. Study sesh tomorrow?” He asked and looked over at Rexy as he too began to pack his things up. “I can´t tomorrow, I´m going out of town for a little bit.” She said and sighed. “I´ll be back by the end of the weekend.” She added and looked at Peter who looked like she had just told him someone had died. “Is it a mission or something?” He asked and frowned. He was always very protective of her even if she was technically older than him. “Yes, but I´m going to be fine Peter. It’s a simple mission.” Rexy assured him. He stood up and hugged her quickly. “Are you going off-grid? Or can you send me updates?” He asked as they hugged. This was the exact reason she hadn´t wished for Peter to know. He would be worried sick and she hated making him worried. “Look, you have a date tomorrow night, and I don’t want you to worry. Hill wants me to be off-grid but I´ll make an exception for you until tomorrow night, okay? You and Tasha are the only ones who know I´m going. You can´t tell Sam or Bucky until later tonight, or they will try to stop me. This is something I, and I alone, have to do.” She explained and kissed Peter's cheek before she let him go to collect her things. Peter sighed but knew better than to argue with Rexy. She was a capable woman who was more than used to her own missions by now.

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recentnews18-blog · 5 years

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New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/jonah-hill-joins-the-five-timers-club-on-a-uniformly-funny-saturday-night-live/

Jonah Hill joins the Five-Timers Club on a uniformly funny Saturday Night Live

Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, Candice Bergen, Drew BarrymoreScreenshot: Saturday Night Live

“I guess the worst part of the play was their confidence in it.”

“I’m not an actor, I’m a [movie, Netflix, directing] star!

It’s be nice to think that Jonah Hill has fully stepped out of his pigeonhole at this point. A couple of Oscar nominations, co-lead in an hit Netflix series, writer-director of a promising new coming-of-age movie, Hill has emerged from the Apatow star factory still straddling the line between serious artist and broad comedy movie star. (Sort of like James Franco, except that people actually seem to like Hill’s directorial debut and no one—as of this writing—has accused Hill of being a sex creep.)

That dichotomy showed up in Hill’s monologue, as SNL legend Tina Fey ushered new Five-Timers Club member Hill into the selective lounge set, where fellow FTC members Candice Bergen and Drew Barrymore celebrated his entry by showing an old sketch where Hill’s character admits to doing some serious damage to a toilet. Protesting that he does more than toilet humor now (“But that’s where you shined!,” enthuses Bergen), the disappointed Hill can only endure an all-ladies Five-Timers welcome, since, according to Fey, Bergen, and Barrymore, all the male members have turned out to be, well, sex creeps. (Steve Martin will just play his banjo “without consent.”)

Saturday Night LiveSeason 44

Fitted with the coveted FTC smoking jacket, Hill is disappointed to find that the new female leadership has refashioned it into something like a kicky boldero number. It’s a neat little way to incorporate Hill’s evolving comic persona while still trading on the downtrodden victim vibe he carries with him, especially once Kenan pops in to remind everyone that his record-breaking seniority carries its own privileges. “This is my show. I let you in here sometimes,” he responds to Hill questioning his presence in the Five-Timers lounge.

Over at Vulture, AV Clubber Jesse Hassenger recently did a ranking of the relatively rare phenomenon of SNL hosts’ recurring characters, and placed Hill’s Borscht Belt six-year-old Adam Grossman near the top. I get it. For one, the field isn’t exactly littered with gold (glad I’m not the only one sick of the Omletteville guy), with most of the bits weathering even faster than those done by the actual cast. But Grossman keeps working as well as he does because of a character throughline, as the garrulous little guy keeps tossing out his inexplicable Catskills schtick to his unlikely Benihana co-diners alongside a series of guardians indicating the unstable family life that’s somehow spawned such a weird creature. Here it’s forbearing nanny Leslie Jones, sighing deeply as she weathers Adam’s insult comic “I’m just kidding” one-liners as Grossman attempts to puncture any tension his borderline racist material generates by proclaiming his age (complete with specific and funny awkward hand gestures). It’s never been my favorite sketch, but Hill (who created the bit alongside Bill Hader and Seth Meyers, based on a bafflingly tracksuited child diner Hader once sat with) is into it, and he suggests the merest hints of the defensive mechanisms that are powering Adam’s transformation into a hacky joke machine, which always lends just enough shadings to the idea. Leslie kept breaking, but, then again, so did I.

Weekend Update update

There was a certain elegance to the way SNL kept weaving themes through its political material tonight, with jokes about Trump’s “caravan of scary brown people” terror tactics, and the importance of voting on Tuesday reinforcing each other throughout. Jost and Che were on, each landing their material confidently. On the caravan (of desperate asylum seekers that are a thousand miles away), Jost noted how Trump’s sweatily named “Operation Faithful Patriot” (where American troops are needlessly stringing barbed wire for a piece of election eve fear-mongering theater) sounds like a company that makes “reverse mortgages and catheters.” (Fox News commercial viewers get that.) Che followed up on the race-baiting scare tactics by urging that the old white people being hyped about the looming but nonexistent threat should be more worried about the less-easily-scapegoated specter of their grandkids stealing their pain pills.

On the election front, Che continued his role as Update’s resident “slow your roll” skeptic, confessing that, while he does intend to vote (on Tuesday, November 6, kids), he’s not going to buy into any “final notice for democracy” panic. Joking that, if final notices were actually final, his college debts would actually be paid, Che, as ever, positions himself for the long view, an edgy place to be in a time of national crisis (see, there’s that panic), but one consistent with his stance as a (black) guy who’s been living in a dangerous situation his entire life. For Jost (white guy), the jokes were less pointed, but not bad, as he noted that things are pretty dire when ice cream is taking a side, and that it has to be a complicated feeling when Oprah knocks on your door, only to present you with a pamphlet about Georgia governor candidate Stacey Abrams instead of a new car.

Pete Davidson has become such a strange star on SNL, his very public statements about his battles with mental health and substance abuse and the recent ongoing saga of his tabloid-fodder relationship with now-ex Ariana Grande have made Davidson more of a personality star than anyone I can think of in SNL history. Pete’s never been the most polished sketch guy (although he’s improved), and his Update pieces as himself have always been his best showcase, especially since he’s sharpened up his material beyond the adorable stoner little brother schtick he started out with. Here, with newly-dyed hair and the elephant of his recent, much-publicized breakup hanging over his head, Davidson delivered a solid series of political takedowns in advance of the Tuesday midterm elections. Sure, they were all cheeky appearance smack (NY Republican Peter King looks like “a cigar came to life,” Florida candidate Rick Scott looks like “if someone tried to whittle Bruce Willis out of a penis”), but, for a young comic staking out political material for the first time in his life, it’s funny stuff. And since SNL has made hay all season long about Davidson’s rising media profile, his genuinely sweet and decent-sounding appraisal of ex Grande was both de rigeur and unexpectedly touching.

Melissa Villaseñor made the leap to the main cast this year, but hasn’t had much opportunity to show off her mimicry skills or her comic chops much on the young season. So, taking a page out of Heidi Gardner’s playbook, she debuted a specifically targeted character piece on Update, with her “Every Teen Girl Murder Suspect on Law & Order.” Honestly, it’s such a specific Gardner niche at this point that I was surprised to see Villaseñor in the chair, but Melissa did fine, as her Brittany—ostensibly there to talk about young adult literature—squirmed and equivocated about what happened to her friend Logan at that “big alcohol party.” Not to harp on the comparison, but Brittany wasn’t as immediately memorable as any of Gardner’s similar turns, even if Villaseñor delivered on the premise with a uniformly strong performance.

Just when I think I’m tired of Kenan Thompson’s Big Papi, he pulls me back in. It helps that there’s a reason for his appearance tonight, as, you know, the Red Sox won the World Series again. (That’s, like, what, four in 15 years, right? Huh. Cool.) Petty sports partisanship aside, Kenan’s performance as retired and beloved Boston slugger David Ortiz has never been the problem. Kenan’s Ortiz, with his nonsensical endorsements, gap-toothed ebullience, and food obsession, is an all-time belly laugh, his infectious enthusiasm for baseball, food, his spokesman deal for the concept of spokes, and simply being Big Papi is impossible to hate. (Presumably even for Yankees fans, whose team got clobbered in the ALDS 3-1, including a humiliating 61-1 loss on their home diamond.) But the jokes don’t change much (as in, at all). Thankfully, it’s been a while, the Sox won the series, and it was nice to see the big lug again. Mofongo all around.

Best/worst sketch of the night

Look, some of you are going to clamor for a “worst” tag on Kate McKinnon’s teacher sketch. You’ll point to both its unexplained weirdness and its languorous pace, and how it never quite announces its authority as something that should appear as early in the show as it did. Well, shush. This was great stuff, not as much for the sketch itself (it really could have used more writing punch to match McKinnon’s performance), as for how it represents the sort of oddball conceptual idea Saturday Night Live desperately needs to encourage. The premise of someone acting weird while other people comment on it is hardly new SNL territory, but, as McKinnon’s overly dramatic drivers ed teacher sprawls on the classroom floor and rambles on about her predicament and its meaning, it was like a cool drink to realize that the sketch wasn’t going to go out of its way to hammer the premise home with explanations for the slowest possible viewer. It was just weird for weird’s sake, and McKinnon, accusing her charges at laughing at her “like this was some episode of Friend,” worked within the framework of the sketch to craft an enigmatically loopy character whose comic integrity isn’t over-explained. There is room on SNL for a lot more shades of humor than its current template generally allows.

This week’s branded content sketch, on the other hand, was pretty unnecessary, even if some of the performances livened it up a little, as another NBC property got some free advertising. Not watching interminably long-running televised talent shows as a rule, I’m not particularly invested in how the celebrity judges were impersonated here (although Kyle Mooney’s perpetually amazed Howie Mandel got a laugh). But at least the joke that there are only a very few possible narratives to every contestant’s journey on such shows took the piss a bit, and Cecily Strong, Kenan and Leslie, and Jonah Hill all sang their hearts out as the contestants who are probably terrible—but then are shockingly not terrible!

Also not terrible but not that surprising was the newscast sketch, where Cecily Strong’s weatherperson is nonplussed by boyfriend Hill’s decidedly unwelcome on-air proposal. Hill manages to create a nicely realized character is his unimpressive suitor, unwisely wearing a green shirt in front of Strong’s green screen and even more unwisely busting out a proposal rap. And the bit even has a decent turn, when Strong reveals that her refusal was only because she’d planned an elaborate on-air proposal of her own. I kept waiting for the reveal that Strong’s too-perfect twist was only in the downtrodden Hill’s head, but the sketch decided to let the improbable duo have their happy ending, so that’s nice.

“What do you call that act?” “The Californians!”—Recurring sketch report

Adam Grossman, Big Papi.

“It was my understanding there would be no math”—Political comedy report

With SNL’s resident guest Trump Alec Baldwin otherwise occupied (and pointedly joked about), the show opened with the always more-profitable tack of doing Trump without Trump. With Kate McKinnon adding Fox News talking head and smirking white supremacist Laura Ingraham’s glint-eyed provocation to her long list of current right-wing a-holes (“No, you’re an a-hole,” McKinnon’s Ingraham responds to her viewer mail), the sketch ran through the usual roster of weekly outrages. Finding ways to satirize the news at this point is a thankless task since reality is so far beyond satire that our pals at The Onion can essentially just transcribe stuff. Here, the jokes leant on hyperbole to make comedy out of Fox and friends’ (and Fox And Friends’) daily klaxon blare of racist bullshit designed to make white parents vote against their self-interest. Like Trump’s ginned-up, racist, Hail Mary, pre-midterms caravan, which Cecily Strong’s appropriately wild-eyed Jeanine Pirro’s claims contains such terrifying, non-white figures as “Guatemalans, Mexicans, the Menendez brothers, the 1990 Detroit Pistons, Thanos, and several Babadooks.” Similarly, Kenan Thompson’s cowboy-hat-wearing disgraced former Sheriff David Clarke showed footage of the caravan in the form of a swarm of migrating crabs. “And those are humans?,” gently presses McKinnon’s Ingraham, to which Clarke replies, “Basically, yeah.”

Unlike Baldwin’s uninspired Trump, which serves as a crutch for some very one-dimensional writing as a rule, the satire here is more layered. There are the performances, which are uniformly great. (McKinnon and Strong don’t need more praise at this point, but they are both outstanding, nuanced comic actresses). And the sketch casts a wider net, encompassing Ingraham’s fleeing sponsors (and the reason why), leaving her thanking warm ice cream, nurse’s sneakers, and White Castle. (“A castle for whites? Yes please.”) And, divorced for now by Baldwin/Trump’s absence, the cold open works to lay the groundwork for some recurring satirical themes for the rest of the show. There’s GOP voter suppression, here prodded along by Ingraham giving non-white voters the wrong advice. There’s Fox’s feverish efforts to mock the very idea that Donald Trump is a bigot. (“Except for his words and actions throughout his life how is he racist?”) And there’s the transparent propaganda of Trump’s latest “brown people are coming at you from below” propaganda, with McKinnon claiming that Trump’s try-hard gung-ho operation is actually named “Operation Eagle With A Huge Dong” and bragging that there will be “five armed soldiers for every shoeless immigrant child.”

Hey, there’s a midterm election coming up on Tuesday, so vote in that. Pete Davidson ended his amiably goofy Update stint by urging everyone to vote, as did musical guest Maggie Rogers (via T-shirt), and, in the Vote Blue campaign ad, so did a roster of very fucking nervous Democrats. While polling shows that maybe, perhaps, enough Americans are motivated, pissed, and goddamned terrified enough to actually go out and vote on Tuesday (yes, this coming Tuesday, you) to put some checks in place against Donald Trump and his GOP accomplices in dismantling democratic norms, environmental regulations, and civil rights of any kind, well, we’ve seen sweaty Democratic overconfidence explode in our faces before. That’s the message here, as the person-on-the-street interviews parroting optimistic election messages all veer into a series of forced grins, shaking hands, binge-drinking, eyes-averted mumbling, and, in the case of Heidi Gardner’s tremble-voiced suburban mom, hair-trigger panic. “Get inside until Tuesday!,” she snaps at her frolicking children, while Hill’s anxious doctor tries to take comfort in the fact that Nancy Pelosi predicted a big victory on Colbert, and Leslie Jones grits her teeth in her stated faith that “white women are going to the right thing this time.” Pitch perfect stuff, right down to Aidy Bryant hauling off to slap teenaged son Pete Davidson when he jokes about forgetting when Election Day is. (It’s Tuesday. November 6. Check here for all the necessary info you need to vote. On Tuesday.)

“HuckaPM” continued SNL’s baffling comedy position that literally every woman involved in the Trump administration is secretly ashamed of her role in, well, every shitty thing Trump and the Republican Party does. You know, despite the fact that there is no evidence to that in the public or private actions of any of them, including (or especially) the sketch’s target, White House Press Secretary and sneering daily mouthpiece for whatever bigoted nonsense dribbles out of Trump’s Twitter account in the middle of the night, Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Still, this sketch works because of Aidy. Good god, is Aidy Bryant great at physical comedy. Even if one can’t follow the show’s premise that there is some glimmer of humanity in Sanders’ soul somewhere, Aidy sells the hell out of the idea that only a sleeping pill loaded with quaaludes and “what Michael Jackson’s doctor called ‘one-and-dones’” can knock Sanders out after a day of claiming that “CNN spelled backward is ISIS” and that Trump’s caravan boogeymen includes ravenous chupacabras with a trio of outstandingly timed and committed falls. Sometimes performance overcomes everything else.

The off-Broadway show short film trafficked in a sort of joke that never doesn’t work on me, so I’m going to allow myself to be pandered to. The main joke—that an actor-written topical revue is not very well written—is fine. (I loved how at least two of the numbers shamelessly aped Hamilton). But I’m just a sucker for jokes where scathing review blurbs are read out as if they’re raves by an enthusiastic voice-over guy, and these had me laughing. “This is helping no one,” and “Whose parents paid for this?” were good, but the New York Times critic’s economical “Jesus Christ!” got me out loud.

I am hip to the musics of today

Maggie Rogers came out flat in her SNL debut. Like, vocally, very flat for her first song of lilting, pretty pop. It was the sort of wobbly beginning that could knock a fledgeling performer right off her pins, but, to her credit, Rogers came back stronger in the second number. It helped that that song was more uptempo and didn’t highlight a delicate introductory vocal, but, still, props to Rogers for pulling it together. As Adam Grossman might bellow, “Redemption song!”

Most/Least Valuable (Not Ready For Prime Time) Player

Ego Nwodim got a line. Keep plugging, new kid.

Otherwise, in an exceptionally strong night for the female cast, Kate wins it by a whisker, edging out Cecily and Aidy.

“What the hell is that thing?”—The Ten-To-Oneland Report

While it’s no “Whiskers R We,” “Wigs For Pugs” ably carried on the ten-to-one tradition of doing adorably weird stuff with animals, as Hill and Cecily Strong played a couple of clearly mobbed-up entrepreneurs whose pug toupee business is in no way “a front for something.” Mainly, it’s just pugs in wigs, with a succession of very chill pugs getting carried out in their hairy finery, but sometimes that’s enough. And Hill, Strong, Aidy, Mooney, and Kenan (as a guy making pug beards) are thoroughly committed to their characters in a broad yet deadpan way that adds another level to the premise. Pugs in wigs. What more do you need, people?

Stray observations

Kenan’s Clarke cites his caravan sources as “the crows from Dumbo,” echoing Clarke’s description of his current state as “unpopular with my own people.”

McKinnon’s Ingraham refers to Baldwin as “disgraced former actor Alec Baldwin” and shows a clip from “Canteen Boy” to explain.

Che claims that the country would be doing better if red state parents would stop “sending all their liberal kids to coastal cities to do improv.”

Pete Davidson, addressing his new blue hair, claims he looks like “a guy who makes vape juice in a bathtub,” and “a Dr. Seuss character who went to prison.”

Melissa Villaseñor’s teen suspect finally breaks down, telling Jost that she only stabbed her dead friend as a joke, “but Logan took it the wrong way and started bleeding.”

Big Papi for Apple Watch: “You gotta watch your apples or a monkey’s gonna steal them, man!”

Vote on Tuesday.

The Red Sox won the World Series.

Source: https://tv.avclub.com/jonah-hill-joins-the-five-timers-club-on-a-uniformly-fu-1830206395

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