#but I'd been figuring out what I wanted the designs to be for a month or so previous to that

[ryeallytired]

Its finally done!!!

After getting back into BBC's Merlin recently (read: a couple months ago) I realized I no longer trusted streaming services to still have it available long term and managed to buy a complete DVD box set.

But because the slip case had quite a bit of wear to it (and due to some minor scopophobia) I made it a box that looks like a book!

(More rambling info & video under cut)

Materials:

The base construction is cardboard and paper (used to cover the exposed cut edges and strengthen corners). The box's faux paper edge is a printed texture on cardstock that was then waxed. The interior is black cardstock with silver vinyl. The 'book case' is that same cardboard construction with faux raised bands (made with some scrap foam I had) wrapped in Cialux's night blue bookcloth (hence the minor wrinkles) with Cricut HTV in metallic gold and 'reflective rainbow'.

Design:

Cover: Obviously Pendragon logo had to go front and center, no argument on that one. (Also partially cause Merlin doesn't really have his own symbol to him? The triskelion just doesn't make sense to me because although Emyrs is a symbol for the druids, Merlin himself isn't a druid and I'd imagine would instead choose icons of Camelot and Arthur to represent himself besides.) ANYWAY- Behind the crest, filligree containing a blade and the sidhe staff in that subtle reflective HTV that blends into the bookcloth exactly how I wanted until it catches the light (something something, hidden magic in the background something something).

(Appologies for the unsteady hands)

Spine: Mortaeus flower! Because it really felt like a turning point for the two (you've known each other... what a week? and you're going against your father to travel to some far off cave to get a flower?? that's some good as dnd-adventuring-party type shit I love it). Minor detail are the top and bottom shapes: pulled from some cool windows we see a lot in season one (I just think there' neat, okay?)

Back Cover: Excalibur with two butterflies cut from the blue-toned area of the rainbow HTV :)

And finally the Inside!: The cup of life! Because it felt just a little empty. I'm still tempted to put something small on the bottom left corner of the inside cover... maybe a crown? not sure yet

And that's everything! Thanks for reading! If anyone wants to make something similar for their own dvd set I'd be happy to share the .svg or .png file of the cut outs, just shoot me a message 👍 Before you go, wanna know the worst part about this project???

.

.

It doesn't even fit on my DVDs shelf :)))) It sticks out by about an inch and a half 😭So we maaay have to be relegated to the 'actual books' bookshelf...

[vetyr]

hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT

Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.

When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.

I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.

Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.

For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.

Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.

The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!

It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.

I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).

Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)

[solaireverie]

f1 | i'd be the man

summary: [ drabbles ] you're the formula one driver and he's your wag. (aka the toto wolff-ification of the fast car boys)

warnings: mentions of racism and sexism

author's note: i had so much fun coming up with non-f1 jobs 😂 i'm convinced that most of the boys would still be obsessed with f1. considering doing this for other drivers, drop some suggestions? 👀

→ CHARLES LECLERC

Charles is a fashion designer who works for one of your sponsors. You find his designs slightly... peculiar and aren't afraid to tell him. Determined to prove you wrong about his vision, Charles volunteers to be your primary point of contact for your partnership with the fashion house.

Your meetings are contentious in the beginning, neither of you understanding the other. You leave each consultation with a throbbing migraine and a barely suppressed urge to throw something at Charles. If only he weren't so damned stubborn. (At the same time, you know that his passion for his craft is half of why you even deign to meet with him.)

A grudging respect forms between you after months of friction and endless banter about what exactly you want your sponsorship to look like. If hard-pressed, you might even call it a friendship.

Charles has been a Formula 1 fan since childhood and is secretly a fan of yours. You find out after you meet him for a design meeting after a rough race and he suddenly goes on a rant about how the driver who took you out was being ridiculous and how you deserved better. You're completely charmed and interrupt him by asking him out on a date.

He's the absolute best boyfriend that you could ever ask for, following you to all the European races and supporting you from Monaco when he can't make it. Charles delights in being able to provide a bit of stability for you in your hectic life. He puts up photos of your race wins in his studio and proudly tells all of his clients about his girlfriend and her achievements.

(You still won't listen to his fashion advice, though.)

→ MAX VERSTAPPEN

Max runs the cat shelter that you adopt your cat from. You notice how cute he is the first time you meet him but you're too shy to make a move — besides, Max cherishes his quiet life and you don't know how open he would be to associating with a public figure like a Formula 1 driver. Still, he's funny and kind and you somehow keep talking.

It starts out innocuously, just pictures and updates about your new cat (because Max cares about all of the cats that he's ever taken care of, even the ones that have been adopted into good homes) and occasional behind-the-scenes updates when you find out that Max likes Formula 1.

Without realizing it, Max becomes one of your closest friends. He catsits for you when you're out of the country for races, picks you up from the airport after international races, and cheerfully beats you at sim racing whenever you have the opportunity to game together.

Max realizes that you're basically dating around a year into your friendship. You sleep at his place, in his bed, more often than not. Sassy likes you more than she likes him. You have his coffee order memorized and he knows your parents. (Your mother adores him and constantly encourages you to make a move.)

He's patient, however, and waits for you to realize your own feelings as well. Dating comes as naturally for you as your friendship did. Although Max doesn't always enjoy the media scrutiny that comes with dating a Formula 1 driver, he takes full advantage of the attention to defend you at any given chance.

In fact, you've been asked multiple times by your team principal to get your boyfriend to calm down before he offends another driver, but you wouldn't change Max for the world.

→ LANDO NORRIS

Lando is a Twitch streamer with a decent following who specializes in gaming, especially e-motorsports. He gets the chance to visit your team's garage when he wins a e-sport tournament. He's an unabashed simp fan and immediately makes a fool of himself when he meets you, but you find it adorable.

(Lando swears up and down to anyone who'll listen that he didn't mean to blush and accidentally propose on the spot.)

You cheekily tell him to take you out on a date first and he surprisingly gets his act together and actually follows through. Lando is incredibly kind and clumsily charming despite his awkward exterior. You can tell that he genuinely likes spending time with you and wants to hear what you have to say.

Lando switches to Youtube and vlogging when your relationship stabilizes so he can spend more time with you. His fans — and yours — love catching glimpses of his elusive Formula 1 driver girlfriend in his videos. It's a running joke among his fans that Lando is your sugar baby, which Lando finds extremely funny and shamelessly accepts.

Eventually, both of you realize that you've found the love of your life and you start thinking about marriage. You propose to each other at the same time, on the vacation that you each planned for the other, while your mutual friends who knew about both sides die of laughter from the sidelines.

Lando insists on taking your name as well and declares that he's now officially your trophy husband.

("Get it? You get trophies from your job, which brought us together, so technically I'm a trophy now too?" "Yes, Lando, I understand double entendres perfectly well." "Ooooh French, fancy!")

→ LEWIS HAMILTON

You meet Lewis in your childhood. He karts at the same track as you and you bond over the shared experience of being "other" from the other drivers. No one ever bets on either of you to be fast, to win, so you bet on each other. Lewis supports you with his entire being, even when he chooses to leave racing to chase other dreams. You dreamed of reaching Formula 1 together but Lewis, in this world, is happy cheering from the paddock.

Everyone around you is convinced that you're dating Lewis, who has become a highly successful model and philanthropist. Who else would would take time out of their insanely busy life to follow you around the world? The closeness between you doesn't help either — Lewis acts like your partner more often than not.

Despite appearances, however, Lewis is just your best friend, and it stays that way until a PR disaster with your respective relationships calls for extensive damage control. The best distraction that your media teams can come up with is that you fake-date each other: what better to appease the masses with than the ever-beloved tale of childhood friends to lovers?

The fake relationship changes something in your previously stable friendship. Suddenly, you can't stop seeing Lewis in a different light and you find yourself wishing that the romance was real. You're terrified of losing one of the most important people in your life, so you keep quiet about your true feelings for months as things calm down.

Eventually, your manager gives the all-clear to end the ruse and you end up scrambling for a reason to maintain it. By that time, Lewis has caught on to you. He stops by one night with a bottle of wine and your favorite movie. As the credits play, he leans over and kisses you softly — the first time he's kissed you out of the eye of the public.

You're lost for words and he quietly assures you that no matter what happens if you pursue a real relationship, he'll always be your Lewis.

Ten years later, happily married with a couple of championships under your belt, you couldn't be happier that you had chosen to say "hi" to the boy at the karting track.

likes and reblogs are appreciated!

masterlist | taglist: @scenesofobx @vellicora @boiohboii

[darantha]

How to Spot AI images (Hopefully)

So, I did see GailyNovelry's excellent post on this (Link here), but saw that there also were some confusion and they were using a environment image as their example, so I thought I'd do a breakdown that was more character centric.

The key thing with AI images is that the program does not know what it is making. And, arguably, they thrive on that we are currently conditioned to not really look at things for too long before we hit that engagement button and/or just scroll onwards to whatever next the algorithm feeds us.

It's hard to fight that urge, I know, but if you just pause and look, you'll soon start spotting things that just do not make sense, and I don't just mean that the pretty booby elven fighter is sporting seven fingers on one hand. Those are the obvious things. I'll try to cover the general sort of artefacts that tend to tip me off to the fact that a image is generated rather than actually hand-made by someone making informed design decisions as opposed to trust what amounts to RNG. I think this is important as there's those who do not tag their images as AI generated, and try to scam people with commissions.

And, as the saying goes... The devil is in the details.

To start with I picked this image from deviantuser CeiEllem. At first glance, it looks... very impressive. Sharp looking elf lady with killer hair. 10/10 wish I could rock that haircolour.

But, it is AI generated. Aside from the general tell that is this hyper rendered, near photorealistic style that AI images often have, there's a lot of details that tips it off to just not having been made by a human who actually made the decisions.

Since AI is just working off patterns and not actual decisions, things like hair is a immediate giveaway that you're looking at a AI image.

(Deviantart users: daralyth, DavidZarn and lunayokai)

In all these three images you can see just how hair whisps off into weird nonsense shapes or even meld into the background or clothing. Because, again, the AI doesn't know what its doing, just working with shapes. Similarly, background elements that just stop and start randomly is a dead giveaway, like the tail in the first image.

As I've said, details is the key to spotting these images, and another giveaway is the sheer density of details that is just noise.

This is from users Rigtorok7, and the details are so noisy, absolutely miniscule in scale, and hypersharp, yet have no actual design to them. Artists imply details all the time. We don't render out every single nook and crevice, and since we actually know what we want the viewer to look at, we'll pull back and simplify things so you don't want to look at the big chunk of very noisy hair ornament or necklace instead of the face of the character.

For comparison, this is how it looks when I, personally, indulge in doing 'overdetailing' of something (because I am forever weak for painting jewelry).

BUT I want to stress that the key here isn't that detailing equals AI generated. The key is the lack of design choices IN the details. There's a lot of artists out there, and someone painting out all those nooks and crannies in something doesn't mean they are a AI user. This painting by Leighton is super detailed but you see the intent with all the details. You have a focus with the people in the boat and secondary read of the figure in the door, where the details are a lot more implied and less sharp.

AI can't do that, because AI isn't making any decisions.

I couldn't find any good example once I went looking, but if you're into fantasy art: look for people just holding weird 'swords'.

AI is rapidly evolving, so who knows how much this'll help in 3 months, but for now, this is how I spot things.

But, in the end, the biggest giveaway that someone is using an AI generator is that they've filled up page after page on deviantart/artstation/wherever in the past like... six to nine months, and often swing between wildly different styles. If you're unsure, look up the source of a image. Another clue can be generic 'untitled' or just 'elf lady' sort of titles, since someone uploading 30 images a week isn't going to make unique titles for each image.

Also, commissioners. ... you should ALWAYS get a sketch and progress image from a artist that you hire. My art directors would have my head on a plate if I didn't send them a rough sketch and progress shot before finalising the image.

[leahsgirl]

homemade love | leah williamson x reader

why am i getting attached to a fake scenario i made up in my head i need help.

anyways happy valentine’s day & enjoy this blurb of pure fluff !

-

"do you want mamma to pour the flour or is wren doing it?" the blonde asked the nearly three year old next to her as she made sure to get the measurements right.

"wren do it!" taking the measuring cup that leah held out for her she dumped the contents in the bowl, being a little off target and some ending up on the counter instead. "good job beautiful."

leah had decided to surprise you, her fiancé, with breakfast in bed. it was valentines day after all and she loved to treat you in any way possible. she roped your daughter in of course, jumping at any opportunity to have the extra bonding time with her mini-me.

today was one of the rare instances where leah was actually awake before you considering it was often you having to pull the defender out of bed which was not an easy task could you just say.

"okay crack an egg into the mixture." she read from the cookbook open in front of her. "watch these skills kiddo." leah smirked as she took the egg and attempted to break it with one hand only for her to fail miserably and have the shell fall into the batter. wren giggled "silly mamma."

"shh don't tell anyone." she picked out the unwanted bits and booped her toddler's nose, leaving a flour mark on it.

eventually the pair finished the pancake mix after a quick flour fight and leah poured the mixture into the pan, flipping it with ease much to wrens amusement shown by her excited claps.

the skipper plated them up and let wren take control of the cream "okay! that's enough darlin." grabbing the bottle off of her after seeing what was practically a mountain of the whipped substance. finishing off the meal with a few strawberries and blueberries leah moved it all onto a tray.

"lets take this to mummy shall we?"

you stirred in your sleep as you felt a weight press onto your stomach. "mummy! mummy! wake up." the infant babbled as she continued to climb all over you.

"morning bubba." you gave her a weak smile while adjusting to the light coming through the window. "i made you bekfast!"

“oo did you now?”

"i'd say it was more a joint effort but i suppose she was the better chef." you looked up to see leah stood there with a goofy smile on her face holding a tray just above her waist.

"happy valentine's day baby." she placed the food down onto your lap, bending down and planting a sweet kiss on your lips.

"oh my, thank you guys." your heart swelled at the gesture - just picturing the behind the scenes you wished you were awake to see. "eat it?" wren who had now cuddled into your side looked up expectantly.

"hm i think wrenny should have first taste, considering she did make it after all." cutting a triangular piece out the stack you fed it to the young girl watching as her eyes lit up from the taste of sugar. "is it good?"

wren nodded vigorously and gave a thumbs up making both you and leah chuckle. you had to admit, they were good pancakes, almost too good considering leah's cooking history, she was by far not the designated chef of the family.

"wait hang on i forgot your present." leah suddenly realised as she dashed out of the room.

you look quizzically at your toddler "what's she got up her sleeve now?" only getting a shrug in return.

your fiancé now came back with her guitar she had been learning to play for a couple of months in her hand. "may i present to you ‘you are in love’ leah williamson version."

you couldn't help but laugh when you figured out what she was about to do. playing the chords to the song she began singing looking directly at you the whole time.

''cause you can hear it in the silence you can feel it on the way home you can see it with the lights out you are in love, true love you are in love'

you loved seeing leah like this; all cheesy and goofy, a complete 180 to how she was on the pitch. she may not be fully in tune but she did have a good voice that you could happily sit and listen to all day long.

wrapping the song up she took a bow as you and wren applauded her. "surprised it wasn't 'our song'." you say knowing how that was the older girl's favourite taylor song.

"thought i'd be a little spontaneous gorgeous." she winked as she now plonked herself on the bed so wren was in between the both of you.

"well i guess it's my turn now huh." rooting through your bedside table drawer. "i don't know if I'm going to beat the pancakes and serenades but here." you passed both wren and leah neatly wrapped gifts. "princess open yours first." you didn't have to tell wren twice before wrapping paper was flying everywhere revealing a baby doll wearing an arsenal shirt with the number 24 on it.

you looked at leah for any form of reaction but she clearly hadn't caught on yet simply sharing wrens excitement at the new toy "you can bring her to mummy and mamma's games."

"okay leah open yours." anticipation was bubbling inside the both of you.

the blondes mouth dropped open when she picked up the items at hand. "are ya serious?" doing a double take at the pregnancy scan photos and test she was holding in her hand. "it worked?"

nodding she rushed off the bed to your side, picking you up and twirling you around. "okay okay put me down! i don't want to start being sick before i have to."

she did as requested and held the scan right in front her face still in disbelief. "september 2024, twins.`' casually slipping it into conversation.

"fuck off." she said incredulously which earned her a glare off you, reminding her there is a child in the room.

"wren your going to be a big sister!" now shifting attention to her daughter - it being her turn to be picked up and bounced around.

"sister?" the little girl questioned. you pointed at your stomach "there's two babies in mummy's tummy." wren reached her small arms out to touch your belly "hello!"

"they can't talk yet love, they've gotta grow for a while in there, make sure they're strong and healthy just like you." the centre-back explained.

you smiled at the interaction. leah was such a good mum. you couldn't wait to make your family even bigger in a few months time. "good valentines day gift then?"

leah pulled you in to her side with her free arm. "the best. i love you." she pressed her lips onto yours, conveying every emotion possible. little laughs coming from the small body in the older girl's arms as she watched her grossly in love mothers.

"oh you find it funny when we kiss do you?" you quirked an eyebrow and watched as she nodded.

you pecked leah's mouth again..and again, hearing the giggles make a return.

"i think it's someone else's turn now." the defender smiled smugly and you quickly caught on, both bombarding your daughter with kisses on the face as she squealed happily.

god you loved your valentines.

[disneyprincemuke]

midnights, 10.2 * mv1

you drop your head with a small smile. "only if you promise to pick me up?"

through his own tears, max laughs and throws his head back. it's a familiar line - one you said when he first asked you out all those years ago. he squeezes your hand and shakes it. "only if i get to send you home after."

but you sigh tiredly, resting your head in your hand. "are you sure about this, max? what if we only hurt each other more?"

"it's a risk i'm willing to take," he admits. "because it's you."

because he can't bear to watch you walk out of that door again without a fight. the pain he endured for months leading up to tonight felt like it could last forever - like he'd never get around to getting over you.

nothing in his life has ever been so clear: it's always been you, and it's always going to be you.

there's nobody else for him.

"and if we do, at least we know we tried," max whispers, dropping his head. "if it were up to me, i'd do this over and over and over again... if it means i get to be with you for the rest of my life."

“how sure are you of this, max?”

“i’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”

"i love you," you smile, starting to feel yourself calm down. a weight has lifted off your shoulders and you instantly feel a tinge of churning in your stomach. "i missed you."

"i missed you more," max sighs, adjusting himself to wrap his arms around your smaller frame. "i miss the way you smell and the way you'd smile at me. i miss your bowl of scrunchies; you have a point making it the table's centrepiece, you know?"

you grin, leaning into his touch. "i'm an interior designer secretly."

"it's what made our home," he sucks in a deep breath, "a home. i hated being there when you were away."

"i hated my apartment without you in it," you confess, a hand holding onto his arm for dear life. “i missed you and the cats.”

you don't know how to convince yourself that this isn't a dream. you don't want to open your eyes and then realise that none of this is real and max is never yours again.

“we’ll do it right this time,” max mutters against your skin with a smile. “i promise i won’t give up on us. you're stuck with me."

"i wanna be stuck with you," you giggle, nuzzling your cheek into his skin. "i'm sorry i wasn't with you when you won the title this year."

"it's alright. we'll just photoshop a picture of us together," max presses a kiss to the top of your head and rubs the exposed skin on your arm, "and then we'll frame it as our biggest picture in the house. we'll tell our kids about it."

"how we photoshopped it?"

"no, how we most definitely celebrated my third title together. we had so much fun, don't you remember?"

"i must be having memory issues. i'm too young for that, max."

"i will take care of you, duh? i'll remind you every single day how much i love you, and you love me." he moves slightly, adjusting so that he can see your face. he brushes the hair away from your face and tucks it behind your ear. “just the way it should be.”

“i’m scared, max. what if we’re never the same again because of this?” it’s a concern that’s been eating at you for the past couple minutes. while being in max’s arms is an ideal situation, what if it’s different this time?

max knows what you mean. he’d also been scared of that. after all the words said, the hurt you caused each other, and those accusations that may never be fully solved — what if you never fall back into what you’re used to?

what if you fall into the same old routine where you’re just fighting again?

“we’ll figure something out, i’m sure,” max cups your cheeks, swiping away the tear stains on your face. “it won’t always be this way. it will get better, i promise.”

you close your eyes, leaning into his touch. a hand comes up to rest over his and you trace shapes on his skin. “i don’t want to hate you.”

“hey,” max’s stern yet gentle tone makes you open your eyes, meeting his cool blue eyes staring into yours with a glimmer you’re unable to fathom. “one step at a time. we will be okay. i will make sure of it.”

you nod and give him a small smile. “one step at a time.”

max smiles, squeezing your cheeks. “i love you.”

he pulls you in gently, one hand coming down to the back of your neck. “you are the only one for me,” he says against your lips, smiling before your lips touch.

you’re overwhelmed by the familiarity of his taste and the way he smells — his perfume bringing you back to a time where your relationship had been so simple. the way his hands feel against your skin and how his lips are moving along with yours fills you with unexplainable joy.

your hands clutch on the material of his shirt by his shoulders, having no idea how much you craved his touch and his sweet words.

he pulls away breathless, giggling dizzily when you lean forward to chase for his touch. he swipes his thumb over your lips to wipe himself off of you. he rests his foreheard on yours.

“do you want to go dance? i know you’re not much of it but we are at a party, after all.”

you smile toothily. you nudge your head to bump his nose. “only if it’s with you.”

taglist: @merchelsea @leclercdream @labelledejourr @laneyspaulding19 @lpab @graciewrote @hollie911 @thatsojasminesworld @mycenterfold @princessria127 @ironmaiden1313 @dl-yum @crlsummer @brekkers-whore @minkyungseokie @honethatty12 @barelytolerabled @vellicora @lokigoeschoki @avg-golden-retriever @lokigoeschoki @cherry-piee @eviethetheatrefreak @hrlzy @dear-fifi @telengraph

[helloanthy]

🗒️ 24.04.2024 ⋅⋅⋅ 🥀

some notes for 20.09.2023 post and a separate cut out for utena because i spent a very long time rendering her ... the original concept i had in my head for this art was very different. it was just supposed to be a style study of this an official anime prop design art, and i'd thought to draw anthy in a similar pose across from her like in the shown version, but with her wearing her prince outfit from the manga. something something another form of female competition under the patriarchyyy stop pitting 2 girlprinces against each other omg etc (side note, how sick would it have been in an AU where akio made anthy fight against utena in the ring? like i dont think it would hav added more to the story or made it better really ... probably would've diluted the message to be honest ... but everytime i see that manga art of prince anthy i imagine some convoluted black rose arc AU where utenas dodging anthy getting her hair hacked off left and right like himemiyaaa nooo snap out of it this isnt uuu while anthys silent and dead eyed hahaha) but then after i drew prince anthy, the picture looked rather empty ... so i thought to add a few decals or borders in the style of the show & official arts but aaahh ... there was still too much negative space. i had to scrap anthy's prince outfit and put her back in her rose bride dress 😭 man !!! he cant keep getting away this !!! [blames akio the figurehead of patriarchy instead of taking responsibility of my own actions] which made me sad because i was pretty satisfied with the way i drew her pose and legs ! but i had to cover it up 🥲 ... the composition overall looked better though. and then after that it kept spiraling. i just kept adding more and more things until i lost control of this drawing and it plagued my WIP folder for months ... i dont want to try and connect all of it in words so ill just lay out all the pieces for you so you can connect them yourself. and you can experience my art thought process in fraction of erraticity and frustration as i experience it myself. this is a lot neater than what happened in my head though because i bothered to put it in order. honestly if i can make you feel a little bit insane trying to scroll through and read all this than i can make you understand how annoying my brain is when all i wanted to draw was utenanthy girlprinces fighting starting references & inspiration: utena prop reference sheet & manga prince!anthy

the tower & the lovers tarot

above: the lovers as depicted in the tarot of marseilles deck, tarocco bolognese deck, & tarocco piemontese deck the lovers (tarot card) wikipedia: The Lovers is associated with the star sign Gemini, and indeed is also known as The Twins in some decks. Other associations are with Air, Mercury, and the Hebrew letter ז (Zayin). In the Rider Waite deck, the imagery for this card is changed significantly from the traditional depiction. Instead of a couple receiving a blessing from a noble or cleric, the Rider–Waite deck depicts Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

a.e. waite, the pictorial key to the tarot, part III, section 3, no.6: UPRIGHT: Attraction, love, beauty, trials overcome REVERSED: Failure, foolish designs. Another account speaks of marriage frustrated and contrarieties of all kinds a.e. waite, the pictorial key to tarot, part II, VI. the lovers: In the foreground are two human figures, male and female, unveiled before each other, as if Adam and Eve when they first occupied the paradise of the earthly body. Behind the man is the Tree of Life, bearing twelve fruits, and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is behind the woman; the serpent is twining round it. The figures suggest youth, virginity, innocence and love before it is contaminated by gross material desire. This is in all simplicity the card of human love, here exhibited as part of the way, the truth and the life. It replaces, by recourse to first principles, the old card of marriage, which I have described previously, and the later follies which depicted man between vice and virtue. In a very high sense, the card is a mystery of the Covenant and Sabbath. The suggestion in respect of the woman is that she signifies that attraction towards the sensitive life which carries within it the idea of the Fall of Man, but she is rather the working of a Secret Law of Providence than a willing and conscious temptress. It is through her imputed lapse that man shall arise ultimately, and only by her can he complete himself. The card is therefore in its way another intimation concerning the great mystery of womanhood. going off of the rider-waite tarot deck: the pictorial key to the tarot—biddytarot's interpretation of the lovers: UPRIGHT: Love, harmony, relationships, values alignment, choices REVERSED: Self-love, disharmony, imbalance, misalignment of values In its purest form, The Lovers card represents conscious connections and meaningful relationships. The arrival of this card in a Tarot reading shows that you have a beautiful, soul-honoring connection with a loved one. [...] The Lovers is a card of open communication and raw honesty. Given that the man and woman are naked, they are both willing to be in their most vulnerable states and have learned to open their hearts to one another and share their truest feelings. [...] On a more personal level, The Lovers card represents getting clear about your values and beliefs. You are figuring out what you stand for and your philosophy. Having gone through the indoctrination of The Hierophant, you are now ready to establish your belief system and decide what is and what is not essential to you. It’s time to go into the big wide world and make choices for yourself, staying true to who you are and being authentic and genuine in all your endeavors. At its heart, The Lovers is about choice. The choice about who you want to be in this lifetime, how you connect with others and on what level, and about what you will and won’t stand for. To make good choices, you need to be clear about your personal beliefs and values – and stay true to them. Not all decisions will be easy either. The Lovers card is often a sign that you are facing a moral dilemma and must consider all consequences before acting. Your values system is being challenged, and you are being called to take the higher path, even if it is difficult. Do not carry out a decision based on fear or worry or guilt or shame. Now, more than ever, you must choose love – love for yourself, love for others and love for the Universe. Choose the best version of yourself. Finally, The Lovers card encourages you to unify dual forces. You can bring together two parts that are seemingly in opposition to one another and create something that is ‘whole’, unified and harmonious. In every choice, there is an equal amount of advantage and disadvantage, opportunity and challenge, positive and negative. When you accept these dualities, you build the unity from which love flows.

the tower (tarot card) wikipedia: The Tower is widely associated to danger, crisis, sudden change, destruction, higher learning, and liberation. In the Rider–Waite deck, the top of The Tower is a crown, which symbolizes materialistic thought being bought cheap, downcast. a.e. waite, the pictorial key to the tarot, part III, section 3, no.16: UPRIGHT: Misery, distress, indigence, adversity, calamity, disgrace, deception, ruin. It is a card in particular of unforeseen catastrophe REVERSED: According to one account, the same in a lesser degree also oppression, imprisonment, tyranny (the wikipedia included a.e. waite's upright meanings, but i have no idea where they got the reversed meanings) going off of the rider-waite tarot deck: the pictorial key to the tarot—biddytarot's interpretation of the tower: UPRIGHT: Sudden change, upheaval, chaos, revelation, awakening REVERSED: Personal transformation, fear of change, averting disaster The Tower shows a tall tower perched on the top of a rocky mountain. Lightning strikes set the building alight, and two people leap from the windows, head first and arms outstretched. It is a scene of chaos and destruction. The Tower itself is a solid structure, but because it has been built on shaky foundations, it only takes one bolt of lightning to bring it down. It represents ambitions and goals made on false premises. The lightning represents a sudden surge of energy and insight that leads to a break-through or revelation. It enters via the top of the building and knocks off the crown, symbolizing energy flowing down from the Universe, through the crown chakra. The people are desperate to escape from the burning building, not knowing what awaits them as they fall. [...] The best way forward is to let this structure self-destruct so you can re-build and re-focus. [...] with a card like The Tower, you have no choice but to surrender to the destruction and chaos, no matter how unwanted or painful [...] After a Tower experience, you will grow stronger, wiser and more resilient as you develop a new perspective on life you did not even know existed. 

infant stars taken by NASA hubble used in the background overlay of akio's tower star birth | cool cosmos: Stars form from the simplest of building blocks - huge clouds of gas and dust that permeate the Galaxy. [...] While these big clouds of dust and gas lay dormant for many millions and perhaps billions of years, eventually some of them are disturbed. This can happen gradually, maybe caused by the approach of one of the Milky Way's spiral arms as it slowly sweeps around the center of the galaxy, or it can be a sudden event, like a nearby supernova explosion that blasts a shockwave through the cloud. Either way, a small increase in the pressure and density of the cloud forms knots in the gas and dust that eventually collapse under their own gravity, pulling more and more of the surrounding material in, and forming the stellar "seeds" known as protostars. From Protostar to Star: As the clouds collapse, they start to rotate, and, like a spinning skater pulling in her arms, each of these seed protostars begins to spin faster the more it collapses. The material falling towards the protostar flattens out into a rotating disk of dust and gas encircling the central core. The protostar warms up, as the potential energy of the material falling in is converted into kinetic energy, but it has not yet ignited to form a fully-fledged star. For the next few million years, the protostar's gravity pulls in more material from the surrounding cloud into its disk. That disk transports the gas and dust onto the protostar, causing the protostar to grow. The increase in mass causes the gravitational field of the protostar to increase and so even more material is pulled into the disk. The addition of more material, in turn, increases the gravitational field even further, pulling in more material, and so on, creating a feedback loop that keeps the whole process going. [...] The density and temperature of the protostar keep climbing higher and higher, until eventually the core grows to about one tenth the size of our Sun, and becomes hot and dense enough for hydrogen nuclei to spontaneously stick together to form helium, in a process called nuclear fusion. At that instant, the core ignites, and the new star is born. Meanwhile, in the disk, clumps of material have been forming, which are the seeds of new planets. These seeds sweep up material in the disk in a process called accretion, forming the planets of a new solar system. Once the star has started nuclear fusion, the heat and wind from the infant star begin to blast the gas and dust away, creating a cavity in the cloud. As more and more matter gets funneled onto the star from the disk, the star gets larger and larger, causing it to push harder and harder against the cloud and the disk, enlarging the cavity, vaporizing the disk, and halting the growth of planets.

deadheading (flowers) wikipedia: Deadheading is the horticultural practice of removing spent flowers from ornamental plants. Deadheading is a widespread form of pruning, since fading flowers are not as appealing and direct a lot of energy into seed development if pollinated. The goal of deadheading is thus to preserve the attractiveness of the plants in beds, borders, containers and hanging baskets, as well as to encourage further blooming. Deadheading flowers with many petals, such as roses, peonies, and camellias prevents them from littering.

[...] Ornamental plants that do not require deadheading are those that do not produce a lot of seed or tend to deadhead themselves [...] if the plant bears attractive seeds or fruits, deadheading is normally avoided

ladybird, ladybug, lady beetle: scientific name "coccinellidae" wikipedia: Etymology: [...] The common English name ladybird originated in Britain where the insects became known as "Our Lady's birds". Mary ("Our Lady") was often depicted wearing a red cloak in early art, and the seven spots of the species Coccinella septempunctata (the most common in Europe) were said to represent her seven joys and seven sorrows. Trophic Roles: Coccinellids act both as predators, prey and parasitic hosts in food webs. The majority of coccinellids are carnivorous and predatory. [...] Cannibalism has been recorded in several species; which includes larvae eating eggs or other larvae, and adults feeding on individuals of any life stage.

Defense: The bright warning colouration of many coccinellids discourage potential predators, warning of their toxicity [...] Species with more contrast with the background environment tended to be more toxic. Coccinellid haemolymph (blood) contains toxic alkaloids, azamacrolides and polyamines, as well as foul-smelling pyrazines. Coccinellids can produce at least 50 types of alkaloids. When disturbed, ladybirds further defend themselves with reflex bleeding, exuding drops from their tibio-femoral (knee) joints, effectively presenting predators with a sample of their toxic and bitter body fluid.

despite said being named after the lady virgin mary they are known to be promiscuous breeders, who's habits have been documented to result in epidemics of sexually transmitted infection in large populations, subject to various academic studies

lyric from lady oscar's theme song "the rose perishes beautifully"

ok there was more but its been like 8 hours it turns out trying to put my thoughts into words even if its just a bunch of copy pasting is even more annoying than just thinking them im ending this post 😭

[silli---lilli]

The Only Hoax I Believe In

Simon Riley had worked for months to figure out exactly what the new Sergeant was up to. Johnny Mactavish had treated him strangely since they met, and he was not one to let some shit like that go.

In Las Almas, Ghost had hung back for Soap, barely knowing him, and he'd had to get to the bottom of his own actions then, too, because getting him out alive had become his only goal. More important than any other aspect of the mission. That was strange.

And then Soap hadn't thanked him and not moved on. He'd thanked him and stuck impossibly close to his side then. Simon had thought for a bit that maybe he was just showing gratitude but, then came questions.

Soap wanted to know about his home, he asked about his tattoos, and how he chose the design for his mask. He wanted to know how Simon took his tea and what he missed about being off duty and if he thought he'd ever retire. Simon answered him, respectfully, but he began to feel curious and then wary and then downright manipulated. Because he always answered in a way that had previously earned him his solitude, but Johnny had stayed.

Johnny had stuck beside him. It was Johnny in his ear, guiding him, it was Johnny's quiet voice in the kitchen when neither of them could sleep, it was Johnny's burning cigarette that lit his in a great show of his own weakness. It was Johnny who looked at his uncovered face like it was normal and beautiful and not monstrous and gruesome. But he didn't ask why Simon chose to cover it. He let him have his reasons, and respected them.

He had decided it was a trick, a great hoax the man was playing. He was smart enough, bright enough, mischievous enough, and there was no way he actually wanted to be that close. He was waiting for the moment Johnny pointed and laughed at him and all the others laughed along with him.

It was one of those nights, with the cigarettes, when he finally said something about it. To get ahead of the humiliation.

"How long you gonna keep this up, Sergeant?" His voice was steady and hollow, he didn't want Johnny to know he was afraid of the answer. Of being shown his own gullibility.

"Smoking?" Johnny pulled his cigarette out of his mouth and inspected it. "Until it kills me, I suppose."

Simon just looked at him.

"What?" Johnny frowned, realizing the tension in the man beside him.

"I mean this." Simon motioned vaguely between them.

Johnny slowly lowered his hand and stared back. Simon could see he was relaxed, not tense as if he'd been found out. "You want to stop?"

Then, it angered him. He wasn't stupid enough to get caught up again. "Well its not anything real, is it?"

Johnny nodded then, and notion he'd had earlier confirmed. "You don't believe someone could just want to be around you, Simon, do you?"

Simon questioned himself. Whether or not he was right about the whole thing, the question was valid. "I've chosen to believe it, for now, but I'd rather end it quietly. Not make a scene."

"That what you want? To end it?" Johnny sat up straighter. "I'm confused, Simon, I thought you were okay with me being around."

"I don't know." He admitted, which was a worse vulnerability than he'd uncovered at any point before.

"Well I do." Johnny turned to face him, placing his free hand behind his back to fight the urge to touch him. "I get it. But it's no game I'm playing, LT, and maybe it's my reckless nature or impulsive tendencies but I'd like to keep this up." He took another drag. "If you'll allow it."

"It's not one of your grand schemes?"

Johnny chuckled. "I'm flattered, but no. I just like you. Maybe I should have said that sooner."

"I wouldn't have believed you." Simon looked down at his gloved hands, shame worming his way into his heart. Maybe he shouldn't have doubted someone he knew to be truly good.

"And now?"

"I don't know." Simon repeated.

"Well I'd be happy to prove it. I love a good challenge."

With that, they quieted. Johnny became more vocal about why he stayed close and Simon decided that even if it was some grand trick, whatever pain came after it was revealed was worth the warmth of letting himself believe it in the moment.

[nikki-tine]

Pretty hastily slapped together, but here's a comm sheet for those who were wondering about the prices in my pinned post! I'm a little nervous about taking comms from social media again, but I'm open to it as my family needs the money so often now...

More recently, I've taken to working on iPad - this will be a more common thing as the summer months roll around and it becomes too stuffy to stick to my PC for working on art.

Here's what I CAN do, for the moment:

Cute, simple designs - Pokemon and simple (rookie-level or earlier) Digimon are a strong suit of mine, but if you have a wonderfully simple OC I can work with too then it'll do!

Cats. I loooove drawin' cats! If you have a Warriors OC, chances are I can draw em.

Fluffy stuff overall! (As long as it's simple enough, obviously - Fluff is another comfort thing I looove to work with. This means literal fluffy stuff like fuzzy animals/critters, and figurative fluff like cuddles and tickles!)

Sans!! (No seriously, I funkin love drawin' sans. If you got a Sans I can draw, I will happily draw him!)

Here's what I CAN'T do, for the moment, on the other hand:

NSFW art (This is because a) there's minors who follow this blog - I have to keep that stuff away (and keep them safe)! and b) I'm not ready to take NSFW commissions, and probably won't be a for a while.)

Heavy gore and themes (It's a lot to work with, and it's not something I personally dabble in if at all, so the result would NOT be to your liking if I tried more than likely lol)

Intricate Detail (I have my reasons for this! My wrist has been acting up more often in the last few years and so intricate detail is... overwhelming for me, right now, outside of personal work. It's just not a strong suit of mine, as much as I'd love it to be - it's not quite a part of the art style as it is right now.)

Added notes:

- I have the right to decline a commission if it either makes me uncomfortable to work with it or otherwise is overwhelming. That is to say, if one artist can't achieve what you're looking for then usually that's an indicator to hold onto your money for a bit until you find the right person!

I send the paypal link at the halfway point (the sketch, just before lineart) normally - but if you want to pay upfront, then please let me know. (I don't wait until the piece is completely done as a safety measure to ensure the person commissioning me doesn't nab the piece and run lol)

I CANNOT REFUND ONCE THE COMMISSION IS PAID FOR. The money goes STRAIGHT into family-related necessities like bills and groceries, and I absolutely CANNOT afford to return money when we are consistently struggling to even get food for the house, nevermind commissions. (It's also just kinda mean?? :c)

I am on commission burnout - what this means is that my work may take longer than usual to get done, but I hold to my word that I get it done no matter how long it takes. If you need the piece done as priority, then make sure you specify when giving the details for your commission! (I do best, however without a time limit or deadline to work with.)

As of right now, I'm practically (metaphorically) crying for simple designs due to this burnout! I need something I can just fly through to get done so I don't stress myself out further on a queue that's been waiting to be done for a hot second.

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

EAH was one of my very favorite cartoons as a kid, and I've been enjoying it's renaissance very much, so REDESIGNS!!! (I've done a bunch over a couple months and put them on Instagram, but I figured I'd move them here cause Instagram sucks, so if you've seen them before over there that's why)

I think the original designs are aesthetically pleasing, but they're not super practical for the characters- case in point! Gay icon Darling Charming

I'm gonna put all my design notes under the cut so if you don't care about that carry on, have a nice day

Darlings original design is fun, but it doesn't serve an obvious purpose, at least not that I can see. She clearly wears armor on the outside of her outfit, the Marie Antoinette poof is a bit strange to me, and she has very little visually tying her to Dexter and Daring. I wanted to emphasize her secrecy, but also her passion for puzzle solving, riddles, combat tactics, ect. when she's around the people she trusts (as if the queer metaphor wasn't obvious enough)

Here are some details that just make me happy

-First, the hair. I knew I wanted to give the White Knight a more unique look, and I wanted to simplify it overall. I LOVE the original armor, but it would be a huge pain to animate, and I don't have the patience for that, so I went for a masquerade-ball-three-musketeers-vibe. The braided bun is still a fancy, regal style, but it's a lot easier for her to manage in her uniform

-I tried to synthesize the color schemes of the Charming siblings. They all have a pit of yellow, a bit of pinkish red, a bit of blue. The twins lean heavy into yellow and blue, with splashes of red where thematically appropriate. Darling doesn't really communicate with Daring much, so she has the least amount of red. I think having more muted colors in comparison to her brothers also emphasizes the fact that she's hiding herself. She is very much defying her family with her ambitions, and she has to work hard to keep it under wraps. Sort of related, I gave her a tooth gap, because it's a cute design detail, but also to act as a "flaw" to contrast with Daring. Daring's primary physical trait is his ungodly perfect teeth, so I thought it'd be fun to give her an "imperfect" trait, like Dexter and his glasses. There's nothing actually wrong with them, but it's a failure to reach the insane expectations that the Charming family has cultivated over the generations. Basically the Charmings are petty and I feel bad for the youngest generation.

-Speaking of concealment! There are a couple bits that I thought would be fun to hide throughout her outfit. First, the skirt is flowy enough and the shirt is positioned just right so that you can't tell, but she has pieces of leather armor on at all times. She saves the plates for wonderland. She also wears gloves to hide the callouses on her fingers from swordfighting! She also probably keeps knives in her hair somewhere. Pulling a small switchblade out of the base of her bun just seems like something she would do

-Final thing, I gave her a scar! From what I can tell, she's always been very rough-and-tumble, so I gave her a scar over her brow. She likes to pretend it's from a Mysterious Incident to mess with her friends, but really she was wrestling Daring when they were like, 4 and 6, and she bonked her face into a table. She got over it real fast, but Daring got a long lecture about it, and that's when he started getting over-protective about her

[kaevillette]

Do you think you can write Neuvilette and a criminal reader? I dunno, it's been on my mind ever since finishing the archon quest

Yes, I absolutely can do that! Putting my law degree to work, YESSSS.

"You know, we really have to stop meeting like this." You murmured, your hands lifting slightly to emphasise the cuffs around your wrists.

Neuvillette rolled his eyes; an action that he usually would not even dare to act.

"You are aware that you're being put on trial, yes?" He asked, fingers tensing around the handle of his cane.

You were the bane of his career. While you're not the first repeat offender to grace his courtroom, you are most certainly the most talkative.

"Mhm, I know. What are you charging me with this time, Chief Justice? Arson? Robbery? Murder?"

"Theft and embezzlement, actually." He replied quietly. "Apparently, the place in which you work has lost a lot of money recently, and it was traced back to you."

You hummed, tapping a finger on your chin before nodding. "Oh, that money. Yes, I remember that. See, there was a designer coat I really wanted, so I just figured I'd take the money and then pay them back later. Only, I never did."

Neuvillette sighed. "This is the third time."

You smiled sheepishly, shrugging. The cuffs around your wrists jingled with every movement. "See, I know it sounds bad, but then I get to see you. It's so worth it."

Neuvillette's eyebrow shot up, his eyes sliding over to study your face.

"You... get to see me?"

"Yes," you chuckled. "I get to see my favourite judge in Fontaine's courtrooms. If they were small crimes, I wouldn't be able to see you, and you certainly wouldn't give me your attention if I simply sat in the gallery, now, would you?"

The trial continued, and although you did get charged with theft and embezzlement of company funds, the sentencing was simply... miniscule.

You'd be out in 4 months and back to your usual tricks of getting Neuvillette to pay attention to you.

He couldn't wait.

©Kaevillette, ©vidyaddhara - Do Not Copy, Redistribute, Steal, or Translate

— ☆ Taglist:

@flesh-fics @understqrs @rosacrose @gh0sts0up

[maxsimagination]

𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲, 𝗻𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗲 - 𝗵.𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗼

warnings: none

-----

it had been months since i had had seen hayley in person, we would facetime every day if we could but the time differences were hard to work around. she had signed for real madrid at the end of last season and moved over to spain two months before it started for the preseason.

since our contracts ran out at everton in 2021, both me and hayley had received offers from different clubs. i had a record offer from manchester united and immediately took it. hayley on the other hand, had man city after her to which she agreed.

it was easier to see each other then, since we were still in the same city but playing on different sides. now, it was harder, we played in different countries. the season had just ended in england, and in spain, which meant it was world cup time.

i knew i'd been scouted but didn't know if i'd be getting the call up. it was my first world cup in the senior leagues, i played in the under 20s for the last one. i knew that mary earps had gotten the call up for her home team, england, but australia has chosen yet.

it was an anxious week of me waiting by my phone every second i could and answering every call, but finally it came.

"hello?"

"hi, is this y/n?"

"yes, it is. who is this?"

"tony gustavsson, coach for the matilda's. how are you y/n?" my heart was beating out of my chest, i was praying that this was good news.

"i'm good tony, what can i help you with?"

"well, i'm calling to give you some good news. you've been called up to represent australia in the world cup." there was a long pause before i responded, i had to let what he said sink in.

"really?"

"absolutely. how does that sound?"

"amazing!" i had let out a sigh of relief when he confirmed it, not wanting to get my hopes up.

"the whole team will fly down to aus next week, i will be emailing you all the details and tickets."

"perfect. thank you so much, tony." i said my goodbyes then hung up, needing to release the excitement i had pent up. the first person i called was hayley. i didn't want her to be upset if she didn't get in, so i asked her if she did first.

"yes, tony called me before you did. i was going to surprise you."

"no need, i got in too!" i heard an excited squeal on the other side and assumed it was hayley.

"actually? you're not kidding?"

"no i'm not joking. i got in." we squealed together in excitement.

——

it was the week after and i was bouncing off the walls of my apartment. mary had come over to help me pack the previous day so i was ready, because there was no way i could manage alone in my current state. i almost forgot my passport, that's how excited i was.

mary drove me to the airport and i thanked her then got out. i checked the ticket and figured out which gate i was in. they finally called my flight and i was the first person through the gate. i went through security and finally boarded the plane.

it was almost an 18 hour flight straight to perth so i tried my best to get some rest. i woke up some time later, and figured out what time it was. we still had 8 hours left, so i pulled a book out.

i ended up falling asleep for the second time that flight and woke up again right before we landed. safe to say i was well rested.

——

i got of the plane, and into the airport to see a security escort holding a sign with my name. i walked up to them, introducing myself. they took me to the car and we drove to the designated hotel for the matilda's. tony was there when i arrived and i greeted him.

"tony, so good to finally see you in person."

he smiled back at me. "y/n, yes so good to meet you. here is your room key, just go and put your things in your room. i'll let you know when the whole team is here." i nodded and walked up to my room.

about an hour or two later there was knock on my door and a shout from the other side. "y/n, it's tony. the team is all here, come meet us in the lobby." i yelled back an ok and started getting changed. grabbing out the matilda's issued gear that we'd been given upon arrival i threw it on and raced downstairs.

there was a sea of matilda's jerseys in the lobby and tony shouted at us all to get into a meeting room.

we traipsed into the area and it was then that i spotted hayley. she hadn't seen me yet so i decided to sneak up on her. she was talking with sam kerr, who was my idol when i was growing up and now i was playing on the same team as her.

i got close enough to them and practically jumped on hayley's back. she almost shrieked before i turned her around and she saw it was me.

"oh my god, Y/N! you're here!"

she grabbed me into a hug and i responded in turn.

"yea i'm here, couldn't wait to see you again."

we spent the rest of the meeting together and then the rest of the day in hayley's room, just spending time together, catching up on everything we missed in the huge amount of time we'd been apart.

[good-griief]

Time ; Acceptance

third and final chap of my "time" series! i really hope yall enjoyed it cus angst is one of my fave things to write. i didn't want to drag it out too much but i was thinking of doing one-shots and some au's of this idea, so if ur interested in that, i'd be glad to know!

warnings ambiguous relationship between abby and reader, reference to romance, implications of unrequited love (it's not), she/her reader, lasting effects of torture to reader, morally grey reader, ambiguous/story-teller dependent interpretation of major past event between characters

tags @frogtits1 @sawaagyapong @augieee21 @sunkissedbibi @eden-nox

part one part two

part three on ao3

Ellie looked over the pictures she took from Leah as she and Dina sat in the theater, pausing at the sight of someone she didn’t recognize. “Who’s this?” She asked, picking up the photo. California was written beneath the picture of a girl and a younger-looking Abby, clearly candid as they leaned against one another by a bonfire. She flipped over the picture. Soon, was written with a heart next to it. 

“Dunno.” Dina swiped a few pictures over to her girlfriend. “There are a few of her.” 

Ellie looked them over, seeing Leah had written and scratched out Santa Barbara on one before scribbling hearts on others. Finally, there was a recent one. Your name was under the picture of you two together, and on the back was a small note. Finally back home was all she read before she stopped, realizing how personal it was and tossing it aside. It had nothing to do with her, and she refused to feel bad about anything pertaining to these people. 

Abby found the pictures in the theater after finding Mel and Owen, taking them and stashing them in her bag. 

She knew you’d seen Leah. She had the pictured proof of it, but she was hoping that night you would tell her why; tell her why, and tell her why, again, you didn’t stay. 

“Just fucking stay here, then!” Your squad member had yelled at you, already being scared that you were so injured and now scared that you’d be leaving, when you debated whether or not to go and speak to your old friends. There was a tightness in your chest, stomach twisting as your heart raced to the point that it felt like one continuous, loud beat. This was all so familiar, but you weren’t going to leave this time. “Go back, see if they’ll take you in, but don’t come crawling back to us.”

You didn’t even have the option. 

“What’s the verdict?” You asked one of the other medics back on the island after he looked over your recovering injuries; still having a severe pain in your stomach and hip that made you nauseous, flaring up to the point that it was debilitating at times. 

It scared you; not being able to do your tasks. What if there was no use for you? Where would you be then? Alone?

And again by your own design. 

He gave you a look. “You’ve got some pretty bad damage.” There was a big, splotched bruise on your stomach that hadn’t left in the days you’d been recovering. “Could be internal… We can’t have you over-exerting yourself. You’re our best medic.” You scoffed at that, nodding. “No more patrols, alright? At least, not until we can do something about this.” 

It’d been months of this now, and you still weren’t better. You had a feeling walking around was making it persist, but you couldn’t just stop working. You refused. Even if it was killing you to do so— figuratively, of course. 

Because of how distracted you were by that, you hadn’t noticed Abby’s distancing. You would set out a pouch of anti-poisons and poultice ingredients for her each time she went on patrol, but you hadn’t noticed she wasn’t taking them until they began to pile up. 

You sighed, putting them in a basket to take to her. You hadn’t realized how heavy these were, as you’d been loading them up just for her, but you went ahead and began walking toward her and Lev’s home. 

You hadn’t realized how far it was, but by the time you got there, you were feeling sick. 

You knocked weakly, Abby not even realizing someone was knocking until you did again. She came to the door, surprised to see you. She couldn’t help the small smile that came to her face. You smiled back, but it faltered almost immediately. “Come in.” Abby stepped aside. “Are you alright?”

You sat down on her couch, setting the basket on the coffee table as you exhaled and held your hip. “Fine,” you forced. “You haven’t been picking up your pouches, so I thought I’d drop them off.”

Abby shut the door, coming over to you and kneeling. “Let me see it.”

“It’s just a cramp—“ 

Abby pushed you to lie back on the cushions, moving your hands and frowning at the clammy feeling. “Do you have a fever?” She asked, making you put your forearm to your head. You shook your head, but she lifted her arm to your head anyway. “God,” she muttered, moving to lift your shirt. The bruising was still there, still red, purple, and unfading. “What happened?” Her hands went to the cramping muscles in your abdomen, massaging to help break up the bruising and making you cringe in pain. “I’m sorry. It’ll help.”

“I know,” you sighed. “It happened back in Washington; your leader questioned me with some… weapon,” you said vaguely. “It’s just muscle bruising.”

“This looks like internal bleeding.“

“It was.” You sighed. “But it’s been like this for months. I’d be dead if it were internal bleeding,” you laughed out, though Abby didn’t find it funny. “The bleeding stopped before we left Washington. That’s why we stayed a few days longer; when I saw Leah.” Abby nodded along, her hand now resting on your stomach in a comforting hold, thumb running slowly over your skin. “That feels nice,” you mumbled, making her look down at her hand. 

“Does it?” She was holding where the deepest part of the bruising was, right above your hip, your sentiment concerning her more than it should. “Did you hurt your hip?”

“Maybe on the trip back. Overexursion.” You nodded. “Sprain, or something.” 

She frowned. “You should’ve just come back. Mel would’ve treated you.”

“They wouldn’t have waited for me.” You shook your head. “I didn’t want to have to go back alone— and don’t say I could’ve stayed. Not there.”

“I could’ve gone back with you.”

You didn’t realize that was something she might’ve wanted, making you pause and look down at her. “Would you have?”

“We all would’ve.” She pulled down your shirt, standing and getting you a bag of ice. “And even if they didn’t… I would’ve. If you asked, I’d go.”

“No you wouldn’t,” you huffed, laughing slightly. She sat next to you, holding the ice against your hip and pressing down to aid in compressing. She scoffed at you, shaking her head. “What? You would’ve just left?”

“For you? Of course.”

You grimaced, swallowing harshly. “Don’t say that.”

“What?”

You shook your head. “You have no idea what kind of guilt would burden you after doing something like that.”

There was a beat of silence. “I know how you felt,” she started, letting you hold the ice now that you were in less pain and seemed to be able to move. “Or feel. Even if you won’t tell me, I heard you say it… And I’ll be honest, I was angry that you left; that you were alive. We all were. But not at you. Never at you.” She kept her eyes away from yours, staring into the dead fireplace across from the two of you. “Just that… you couldn’t speak to us— And after what we did—“

“What you did?” You frowned over at her, shaking your head and objecting before she could continue. “I left—“

“The things we said—“

“No, Abby,” your voice was firm, wavering, but firm. “I left. That was my choice. When my friends needed me— when my family needed me, I wasn’t there because I left you. What I did,” you enforced with a tone she’d never heard directed at her from you before. “That is why I couldn’t speak to you.”

There was a long silence, Abby’s breath shaky as you sat back with a wince. She knew you shouldn’t be having this conversation right now, but it seemed like this was the only conversation the two of you could have.

And she just wanted to speak to you. 

“I still would’ve left,” she concluded; a complete dismissal that made you scoff out a dry laugh. “I don’t care what you say; what stories you come up with to blame yourself.” You shook your head at her stubborn attitude. “I still would’ve left for you… And the only thing I’d feel guilty for, is caring about you more than I ever cared about anyone else.” You stayed quiet, letting her know she’d gotten your attention. “And I’m not asking you to feel the same—“

“Don’t do that—“

“—Or to change how you feel…” She spoke over you like you hadn’t even opened your mouth. “But I am asking you to understand me.” You knew she was choosing a time when you were vulnerable to come clean on purpose, making you grimace as you reluctantly listened to her try to get you to do the same. “Because you do know me, and you know that I would leave for you, even if you wouldn’t do the same for me.”

“Fuck you, Abby.” At your quiet voice, she knew she’d gotten through to you. Past your false passiveness and down to what you tried to hide from everyone. But you couldn’t hide from her. “I left for you.”

And she couldn’t from you. 

“Don’t go there.”

“No, really.” You forced yourself to sit up and face her. “If this is what you want to talk about, then fine. We need to, anyway. No placating, no pacifying, nothing. Let’s talk.”

She took in a deep breath, turning to face you as she pushed herself to the other end of the couch. “Well?” Was all she said. 

“Tell me the truth.” She immediately rolled her eyes; immediately got defensive. “That night, you wanted me to leave. Didn’t you?” You spoke slowly, meeting her eyes. “That’s why you feel so guilty; why you won’t let me. Because you wanted me to leave, and I knew that, and actually left.”

She was quiet, staring you down. “I thought you were going to leave.”

“Abby—“

“How many times do I have to say it—?”

“I know you. That’s what you just said.” Your tone became hostile quicker than she could process, making her look away. You knew she wasn’t telling the whole truth. “So I know you wanted me to leave. I shouldn’t have, but that’s why I left, and you know that, and you regret it…” You spoke firmly, words clear and cutting into her with every pause you took to emphasize them. “So just tell me the truth. Please.”

She was quiet for a moment, chest tightening as she grimaced. “If you were going to leave, I wanted to be the one to decide that we wouldn’t see each other. I already told you that.” She tip-toed around the question, earning nothing from you and making her more on edge. “So, yes, I wanted you to leave. I wanted you gone for suggesting you go.” When you let out a breath of satisfaction, she continued over you. “But then tell me the truth. You weren’t planning on us going with you. Were you? You were suggesting to go alone.”

“You know me so well,” your tone was dry, mocking and almost demeaning. It was a blow to the chest, making her bite her tongue. “There was no point in suggesting you go, but I was. Even though I knew you wouldn't have gone. All you wanted to do was find him—“

“I would’ve gone in the middle of the fucking night and left eveyone else if you asked.” Clearly, the demeaning tone of your voice was too much for her, her tone biting without a second thought as you continued to push her to get the full truth before you opened up, too; why she wouldn’t just let you take the blame for something that was so clearly your fault.  

“No you wouldn’t.” You were pushing for an argument now, tone lazed and grating on her nerves. 

She always let things slip when she was irritated. 

“You didn’t fucking ask. How would you know?” She was quick to say, feeding off your dismissive tone. 

“You would’ve left Owen. Really?”

“For you?” She laughed at your naivety. “I’d do fucking anything.” She shook her head. “But you wouldn’t ask me to—”

“And Joel?” She shook her head, shrugging. You did the same, shaking your head at her. “You wouldn’t have left them— him? No fucking way.“

“That’s where you’re wrong.” You scoffed. “I would’ve left as soon as you brought it up, and I would’ve made everyone go with us, if that meant you wouldn’t fucking leave—”

“Oh, and you’re not angry at me—?”

“Fuck you.” 

You laughed in response, shrugging. “You’re the one that wanted me gone—”

“And everyone blamed me for it!” You shut your mouth at her exasperated response, looking over her flushed face and glossed eyes. “They all knew if I didn’t say anything, you wouldn’t have left… And they all knew you wanted to leave, so they blamed me for letting you.” She paused, a thick swallow bobbing in her throat. Now, you were getting somewhere. “That night; when you looked at me… I just wanted to give you the choice.” She blinked rapidly, but couldn’t control the way her voice broke, “I wasn’t telling you to go.” She spoke over you when you went to comfort her, “I would’ve told you to stay if I knew you’d already decided,” she got out quickly, shaking her head at herself when she felt her eyes burn.

Somehow, you always got her this way. Even if she thought the conversation could go her way, you always found a way to get to her. 

“If you hadn’t fucking said anything—!” Jordan pointed an accusatory finger at Abby. 

Just as they’d flipped on you, they were doing the same to her. They’d all been on her side last night, but suddenly she was at fault. 

“Fuck off, Jordan,” Owen huffed out. “You were being an asshole.”

“And you weren’t?”

“Why don’t we just stop arguing and go find her?” Abby suggested, exasperated. 

“Like she’d come back,” Leah scoffed. “Just let her go.” She was flippant, shocking everyone. “What if we find a body? What are we going to do then?”

“What the fuck, Leah?” Nora scoffed at her. 

“I’m not the one that said anything to make her leave in the first place,” she bit back, though she wasn’t immediately blaming Abby and instead looked between Nora and Mel. “And now you wanna go find her?” She then looked at Abby, scoffing at her avoiding her gaze. “Go fuck yourselves.”

“You’re not any better,” Mel said. “You didn’t say anything.”

“Yeah? And what did you say, huh? Just go if you want to? What the fuck did you think—?”

“That’s enough, guys,” Owen spoke up, stopping them before they said anything else they’d regret. “She wanted to leave, so she left. It’s not anyone’s fault. It was a choice. Clearly, she decided to leave before she even brought it up.” Leah rolled her eyes. “I say we just go. We don’t know where she went, and we can’t track her.”

Abby could understand why Leah was the one you could speak to. How you could open up to her, and admit to her what you wouldn’t to the rest of them. She understood, but she still wished it was her. 

She wished she could get to the gentle, comfortable part of the conversation without arguing first. 

But that would never happen until you were honest with each other. 

And that always took a fight. 

The conversation had taken up so much emotional energy that you were in physical pain by the end of it; it continued on past Abby’s admission until she heard you tell her exactly how you felt. Just admitting it to her got you choked up, and seeing you that way did the same, but now you were holding the ice pack to your stomach as you curled up on her couch. 

“Fuck, let me help.” Abby quickly got up and blinked away the feelings you’d just brought up, reaching out as she sat next to you and pulling you into her. There was really nothing she could do to help, but she told herself she was warming you up by holding you— helping tense muscles relax. “Try to relax.” She took the ice from you, setting it aside and pulling you closer. 

You tried to even your breathing as she rubbed your back, but it only made you more upset. “I shouldn’t have started an argument. I’m sorry,” you muttered.

“I think this one was necessary,” she laughed, soothing you as you pressed your ear to her chest. “Even if you hate arguing, you were right. We needed to talk about it, and we never would’ve gotten here peacefully.” You laughed at that, wincing as you did. “But that doesn’t matter… What can I do?”

“Just…” You sighed, rolling your eyes at yourself. “Lie with me? You’re warm, so it… helps the muscle relax.” It was true enough, but Abby knew better. She knew you got scared when you were injured, and she knew being held helped. 

Despite how you mocked her for one wrong judgment, she did know you. Even now. Still. 

What she didn’t realize was how her embrace felt as comforting as it did when you were younger, not like the first time you hugged her— when you hardly recognized her touch. Even if you recognized her then, you recognized her touch even more now. The work she’d done to regain her strength brought feeling back to it. A lively, gentle feeling. 

“You think you can walk to my room?” She asked tentatively, grabbing the ice pack as she stood and helped you up. You nodded, and despite her not believing you, she kept her arm around your waist and walked with you. 

You looked down the hallway, huffing at the impossible length of it and forcing yourself to keep going until you faltered. Abby caught you quickly, scooping under your legs despite your protesting of “I’m fine” and carrying you the rest of the way. 

She lied you down on her bed, making you lie flat to help the muscle stretch before lying with you and opening her arm for you as she set the ice aside. 

“Now that you’re being all nice to me,” you said after a moment, earning an eye roll. 

“I wasn’t being mean,” she countered. 

“Why would you leave for me?” You asked as if she hadn't spoken. “Help me understand that.”

“I wanted to be with you. I told you that—“

“But why?”

She didn’t respond for some time, staring up at the ceiling. “You know why.”

“Abby,” you sighed, defeated. “Just tell me.”

She looked down at you with a frown. “Why do you need me to tell you?”

“Because, it doesn’t make any sense?” You scoffed at her, moving to sit up, but she held you down before you could cause yourself anymore pain. “I know how you felt about Owen, and I know how you feel about me. It’s not the same.”

“So you understand why he broke up with me then.” She laughed at that, as if it was the funniest thing she’d heard all day. You frowned. She hadn’t even told you that yet. “In the end, after seeing you that day, he wanted to come to Santa Barbara and find you too, but I guess he couldn’t understand why I held on all those years.” 

“What do you mean?”

She pursed her lips, pushing herself up and going to her closet. She supposed it was her turn to show you all her keepsakes now, as she’d finally gotten them all back from the boat. 

She emptied her backpack onto the bed, Leah’s polaroids and her old photos falling out. Books and folded up maps, too. Even an old journal. 

You grabbed Leah’s pictures first, a smile coming to your face when you saw the one you took together. 

“I know it’s a weird question, but can we take one together?” She’d asked after giving you pictures of your friends, to which you gladly agreed to before she had to leave. 

You flipped it over, seeing the note she wrote and swallowing hard. 

Finally back home

Again, I wish you’d stay, but I know why you can’t. 

I don’t want to either. I don’t want to keep fighting. 

I’m afraid that I’ll be gone before I get to see you again, but I’m glad we got this. Whatever it was. 

Who would’ve thought that a few hours makes up for a few years apart?

You set it aside, lips pursed as you looked through the rest of them, all with notes just as feeling as that, some even sounding angry at the rest of your friends. 

You looked to the maps, unfolding one and finding a small picture of you and Abby taped to it. Dots littered the paper, connected in a pattern that led to a circle around the picture, taped over central California. The next map was the same, towns being written out  with information beneath them. The handwriting changed with each of the maps, getting clearer and clearer as Abby got older. 

The last one was empty, only a picture taped to it. 

The books had passages underlined, some annotated to show to you, or that you’d like them. 

The last was her journal, binding cracked and worn but not because it was old. Because she’d written in it so much that the pages were worn, even teared with how hard she pressed into them, emotion sinking into the ink and through the pages. 

You opened it to the middle, another photo falling out; one Abby had taken with Leah’s camera. Just of you. 

There were entries upon entries, letters upon letters, and this one was the one you just had to open to. 

It spanned for pages; pages, and pages of just one letter to you. One letter, pouring her heart out to someone who couldn’t— no, wouldn’t even reciprocate. 

Your conversation, the one you turned into an argument for no reason other than to prove yourself right, replayed in your mind. 

“I would’ve left.” For you. 

“I’d do anything.” For you. 

“If you’d ask me.” 

“You wouldn’t ask me to.”

“If you asked, I’d go.”

You stared down at the book, her words repeating and repeating and making your vision blur as you finally took them in. “I’m not asking you to change how you feel.” That brought you closer to understanding, brows knitting together. 

Even if you’d mocked her for it, she knew you well. 

She knew you well enough to know you were finally letting yourself understand. She took the book from you, replacing it with her hands so she could pull you close, holding you to her chest just as her words sunk into your heart. 

A blow to the chest. 

I’m not asking you to feel the same. 

[sharb]

Sharb's SAGE 2023 recommendation list

SAGE is over and I've taken a look through some really good games this week. Wanted to shout out some of the ones I thought were really cute in no particular order.

With over 200 games I can't play through and recomend all of them so please if you're interested in any of these I recomend going to https://sagexpo.org/games.html andlooking at some of the other games available.

These are just the games I've played, if you don't see your game here that's not a comment on the game's quality, just what I had time to check out.

Remember to click the thumbnails to get access to the game's pages

I was immediately interested in B.U.D.D. for it's art and references to games like wonder boy, what really surprised me about it was the humor as it's actually funny in a cute way.

If you like wonder boy or classic sega adventure games I can't recommenced B.U.D.D. enough.

@cyanroxanne pitched this to me as a SHMUP for people that have trouble getting into SHMUP games, after playing the demo and taking a minute to figure out how the game works I actually had a lot of fun with it. I could definitely recommend this to people who wanna get started with the genre, really amazing art too feels like it's a treat just seeing what the next area looks like.

RPG games can be really hard to push on SAGE because of how many games there are to go through and how long they can take to complete, a lot of streamers tend to pass over them for the sake of time so they can cover more games.

So here's my RPG recomendation, Cubenen Gardens is a game being made by @thegamedawg who actually got me to play test his game months ago, the game's still in development but what I've got to mess with so far the game's strongest aspect is it's characters and world building as you help Micheal (the saddest sopping wet creature on the planet) navigate a mall trying to find a rare monster but gets wrapped in more and more conflict.

David gets keen is really short but it has a really strong gameflow to it, my only gripes with it is that the ability HUD could be given more clear graphics as your moves are represented by circles which can make it hard to figure out what they belong to without pressing their corresponding buttons.

Beyond that the grass stage is amazing, playing the level normally gives you a pretty average platformign game but when you start building up speed using your spin move on slopes you can get to insane speeds and just fly through the level skipping puzzles and enemies and clearing the level in seconds, it's really fun when you get the hang of it.

@wootinaboot

Meander land is a really small game by @whiskerfjords game's really fun to play casually, I thought the story and characters were really cute and I'm actually really excited to see what Whisker makes next.

Out-class Hunter from @7hrone returns again with a brand new level to check out, it's a return to Doom style third persons games, specifically SRB2, it's been fun following the development of this game and watching it improve each demo.

Lemme know if you can find the cool cactus, you'll know which one I'm talking about if you follow my games ;)

Prototype N is just a really really solid action platformer game from @arriettylunaris each level has a lot of thought put into it's design and the weapon combinations can be a lot of fun to mess with, I really can't recomend Prototype N enough.

I can't get over how much character personality this game oozes, feels like around every door I'm going to run into something new I like either being a character or a game mechanic that's just fun to mess with, each character brings their own moves and their levels take advantage of a lot of their movements.

I'd compare this to those old 90's Disney game adaptations but this game easily out does them in terms of design as the designs look like they were ripped right out of an old 1940's cartoon shorts.

Peak meme aside, I actually had a lot of fun playing this, Super Freaks is a fun lil platformer game with references to a tonne of other works, you probably saw this game referenced countless times this Sage but it is just really goofy fun, tho I would really recommend playing this with friends if you can, game feels like it was designed around the kind of multiplayer chaos, if you saw the stream I was part of you can see why.

Sorry to all my friends who have heard me talking about this game all week non stop and seeing me reverse engineer SMBX 2 to [redacted] but this was easily my favorite game this SAGE if not the most replay-able, I keep booting this up just to try and make it thought the level as quick as I can.

So if you're like me you've probably been seeing @punkitt-is-here s pony comics or more specifically, the Susan Tax payer comic and the charm, humor and personalities of all of them absolutely coats this game.

It requires a bit of set up, you have to download SMBX2.0 separately in order to play this and SMBX has it's own set of issues that kinda bleed over into some of the issues in the game that need to be ironed out but beyond that this is a really fun demo to play and I absolutely can't wait to see where this goes.

Techpack currently is one Namco inspired arcade game, Tech has put a tonne of time and research into how to nail the old arcade style. The only thing holding it back right now is that the only game available is really simple and short, but man I'd be kicking myself if I didn't mention the presentation on it alone is enough for me to recommend checking this out, really reminds me of the old Namco collection games on playstation.

Now put my rabbit in as one of the cameos :gun_emoji:

Ok that's all the indies I could cover, some honerable mentions that I've been wanting to check out include

kid bubblegame JLFJ 2 Veggocalypse Mekanikko

As for the fangames I've played

Here's a game I wasn't expecting I'd be recommending, Mushroom Kingdom Fusion has been in development for over 15 years and always felt to me about quantity over quality but this new demo really impressed me.

The game is starting to take shape and there's actual structure to everything where as before it was just an open sand pit for them to figure out what to do with.

There's still a lot to be done but what's here is just a blast to mess around with. something really satisfying about struggling with a level, switching over to Samus and just blasting all the enemies and bosses away, tho I assume these characters will be unlocked in the final game as most of them are completely over powered.

This does bring me to one complaint though, Mario needs a buff. Mario is by far the hardest as he has few defense options and a lack of a health bar that almost everyone else have a huge advantage over him, and Mario having a health bar isn't too far removed from games like SMB2 and the modern 3D games.

But regardless I never thought I'd play this game and actually try to beat levels so I could see more, secret hunting is finally rewarding and expanding and finding more of the world is really fun. The game's length is absolutely HUGE, one world is about the size of an average Mario game which is insane.

And I'm really happy to see that loading has been optimized tho I don't know if that's because I'm running a machine that's not made 15 years ago.

@velacosmos has been working hard on creating a new Demo for SAGE and this one actually surprised me.

Taking influence from mario maker 2, Shang Mu Architect is a Freedom planet challenge level maker. which is quite impressive on it's own but has a tonne of extras.

Namely now there's actually a story mode to go along with the game, truth be told I'm not too big into freedom planet's cast to really know how well this game captures their personality but I still think it's really cool to actually have something that doubles as a proper freedom planet fangame since as far as I'm aware we're yet to see an actual game that actually follows the original games style.

Your mileage is definitely going to depend on how much you enjoyed the original freedom planet but I definitely think this is worth checking out.

Of the top of my head way back when stealth was pitching a mobile port of sonic 3, I swear I remember one of the ideas was expanding the match stages into full fledged level.

Sonic 3 Chronicles is an interesting "what if" scenerio where after angel island instead of falling into Hydrocity Sonic and co continue past the cutscene area and into the endless mine from match making.

I never really thought of those match stages as being connected to the main stages but this does a rpetty decent job of introducing new gimmicks and mechanics to go along with those stages.

The game is definitely rough around the edges and needs a lot of tightening up but what's here is a cute game that does it's best to follow sonic 3.

Also Mighty is here... I don't know why but thank you.

Gatoslip is a hack of Sonic the hedgehog created by @vadapega a very small demo with a tonne of personality put into it.

Yes, this is a hack, you're going to need an emulator in order to play it. Now which emulator do I recommend?

Probably the steam workshop if you still have your copy of sonic 1 before SEGA took it off the store page.

Vada's always been an inspiration for my art and it's great to see him finally go for something that really expresses his personality. The writing's great, the battles are really cute and I love the strategies for defeating enemies. Game's filled to the brim with visual gags with one gag in particular giving a lot of "replay value" (you'll know what I mean when you beat it)

can't wait to see where this ends up.

Again check out

https://sagexpo.org/games.html if you haven't yet, this just scratches the surface of what's available and there's a tonne of great games I looked over in this list.

[mochinek0]

Love Ballads-3

'It's almost been a week since I've seen Marinette and I can't get her out of my head. Why? Sure, her appearance has change a bit since College, but it's not like seeing her was a surprise. Marinette has always been best frineds with Alya, but I don't really remember her dating anyone, besides Luka. It's great that she wears her hair down now; she always looked better that way. Her hair was almost down to her waist. She's curvier and the way she dresses changed too. That's probably why seeing her was so different. Did she always have those freckles?'

But that wasn't what was bothering the young model. It was her voice.

'Why is it that every time I close my eyes, all I can see is her? All I can see are her bright bluebell eyes staring at me, begging me to answer her. Every time it's the same question: 'Why don't you love me?'

That's all she ever repeated to him. How could a simple sentence haunt his every thought, every dream? Adrien sighed again. The model was broken out of his thoughts by a knock on the door.

"Adrien, your father would like me to remind you that you have a previous engagement in two hours time. Be ready to leave in one hour." announced Natalie.

"Yes, Natalie. Thank you." he answered, deviating his thoughts. Adrien quickly showered and got ready, leaving him once more to his rampant thoughts about his old friend.

'Why does it hurt to hear those words escape her pink lips? Why does it feel like Marinette was waiting for me to answer her? Why do I suddenly feel this way?'

"You are to be presentable at all times. You must remember that there are people who will take what you say out of context. You represent more then yourself, Adrien; you represent the Gabriel brand." announced Gabriel, setting his rules in place.

"Yes, Father. I understand." Adrien stated, waiting to be dismissed.

Gabriel left shortly after and Adrien was ushered into the car to Nino's new place.

It wasn't until he arrived at Guy's Night that things were suddenly becoming clearer in his mind. He was slowly getting a crush on his old friend, Marinette. Her singing voice had been a siren call and his doom.

'I can't feel this way about Marinette! I need to stop. '

He took a sip of his drink and glanced at the other side of the room. There stood the reason why: Nathaniel. He was dating Marinette and he was forcibly stuck with Lila.

'Why couldn't I have figured this out before? Why couldn't I have noticed her in College? Why did we lose touch? If I had just ran into her five months ago, maybe I'd be happy. Maybe I'd be her boyfriend.'

As the night wore on, he found himself thinking of the petite designer more and more. Adrien started lying to himself: I don't like her. Yeah, we just lost touch and I really just want to talk with her. We have so much to catch up on! I just want to get to know her better. I want to know what classes she's taking and how she's doing with it all. I just want to-

Adrien covered his face with his pillow, once he was home. No matter how much he tried to convince himself he only wanted to get to know her again, he knew they were lies.

TAGLIST: @meme991001 @stainedglassm @psychicdelusionwerewolf @vixen-uchiha @missmadwoman @abrx2002 @ledalasombra @animegirlweeb @animeweebgirl @a-star-with-a-human-name @alysrose-starchild @fandom-trapped-03 @dood-space @moonlightstar64 @saltymiraculer @marveldcedits20 @09shell-sea09 @icerosecrystal @insane-fangirl-of-everything @blueblossombliss @nickristus-dreamer @megawhitleycalderonpaganus @tigresslily @legodetectivemalsblog

[system-of-a-feather]

Re-establishing Baseline Plan

Since moving, I've (completely understandably and expectedly) had my baseline kinda fucked (did not help by with financial stress + job incompatibility + ear infection + really bad post ear infection cold + probable norovirus in literally one month) and so I've been really overloaded, stressed, and just in a place of mostly survival mode where most of my energy is focused on maintaining my mental and physical state in the easiest manners possible

I have been holding up well all things considered and have set up for a probably more compatible job + my fiance has managed to get a job again that he feels will probably work out well for him and I have at least like a week off between jobs to reorientate myself

So to take a good and active effort to make the best of this time, I want to make a plan to set myself up for success. I actually do this every so often when I really need to pick myself up (historically Lucille would usually do it but pros of being basically fully integrated is that I am Lucille as well as me) and I figured it would be a neat thing to display and demonstrate here cause I'd end up making it *anyways* so why not share with the class

If anyone likes this, yall can borrow it ^^

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Question One: What current coping skills and hobbies am I currently doing and trying with my time? Are they affective and would I like to change them?

Art, Drawing, Character Design, Art Fight Prep, Story Planning and Writing

This is one of the easiest and most reliable positive coping mechanisms and has gotten me through the majority of the month mostly on it's own. Compared to other coping mechanisms, this one is almost always something I can drag myself to do or at least ask someone to supervise me to make sure I do it when I feel I need some sort of self care. It serves greatly as an alternative when I find that I am doing maladaptive coping that I would rather not do and when in doubt, it has access to some level of social engagement should I feel I need that. With that being said, having relied largely on this for a month, this is suffering diminishing returns and starting to lead to general lack of inspiration and so diversification from this coping mechanism would be ideal

Weekend Gym Trips

This is actually a really good way for me to release energy, give myself space and time to think, and just feel better moving and existing in my body. It also mandates time for me to listen to music and serves a meditative purpose. That said, I have only been doing this on Saturdays and only once on Sunday and I would like to expand that to be at least 3 times a week or at least more spaced out.

Reading Semi Regularly

This is a new habit and coping I picked up and its actually really good! It provides a unique sense of calm when I need it. Unfortunately I've started to drop off the past week due to general stress and illness, so I think its important to return to this. Perhaps set a general goal of "every other day" rather than every day to lessen the pressure.

Video Games

This was helpful but lately I have been not motivated to play anything and I believe its been burnt out. I think it would be good to resume this but it is currently impractical to force at the moment until overall wellness has returned.

TV with Boy

This is helpful but unforunately nothing seems to interest either of us to watch right now. (cri life is hard /lh)

Board Games with Boy

This is a new one and has actually been very nice. That said, it isn't always available and dependent on my fiance's ability to have the energy, time and interest to play them, particularly since I know he is less interested in board games than me. It is good to maintain the interest and offer, but not a coping skill to become reliant on.

Question Two: What sorts of things that I am currently not doing do I know tend to define behaviors, habits, hobbies, and interests that are done when I am out of survival mode and genuinely enjoying life?

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

Engagement in Exploration and just independent travels without individuals

Engagement and interest in occasionally reaching out to Buddhist environments

Producing art work for the story that is more developed and inspired rather than "quick" or "reference" focused - actually focusing on the creative and artistic expression rather than the practical expression

Increased social circle communication irl beyond my online bestie, fiance, and online friend group chat; reaching out to individuals and developing new irl friendships

Question Three: Which of those hobbies do I think could be the most reasonable and easy to meet sooner than later (even better if I can make steps to start that right now / today)? In what ways could I make steps to make those first changes and help set myself up for success on expanding my engagement with life beyond survival mode?

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

While I am not extensively motivated in any manner to watch anything in particular, I am starting to randomly get a lot of bleach related stuff on my youtube and I have been meaning to watch TYBW arc. I have been postponing it because of arbitrary "I wanna read the manga first" and just general other excuses, but realistically those are putting up barriers that I may not get to at this rate and currently I could just use something I'm somewhat interested in to give me some independent relaxing engagement. I think I can set the goal of actually watching Bleach TYBW at least an episode a day starting either today or tomorrow and see if that can bring a momentum and habit into actually being able to watch things that interest me on my own.

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

I can probably actually take my violin back out. The guitar would probably be better but for whatever reason I feel that my brain thinks that would require more - for a lack of better word - work, so I think I can at least try to find time this week to at least play a little bit of my violin.

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers + "increased social irl connection [...]"

I can reach out and text my new irl birding connections to see if they are interested; if not I can at least plan to take a birding trip later

Engagement in Buddhist Stuff

I know there is an area I've been thinking of visiting that has free english services on Tuesday, I can make plans to go there that day, particularly since my Fiance should be working for the first day then anyways.

Question Four: What are additional goals and check points that we would like to try to bring us closer to the life style that we know tends to support a thriving mental state and life satisfaction rather than one of survival?

Independent Travels

During the time I have, I can keep in mind this goal and if I have down time think of potentially interesting and alternative places to go to explore; additionally I can plan birding trips to places I have not yet checked out.

Increased Social IRL Connection

It is dependent on if my now-ex-coworker still is interested, but I can follow up and see if we want to still play board games; if not I think potential more ways to reach out will be more viable to plan once a higher level of baseline is established; potentially see if there are any in person DnD groups around that I could make a habit of going to or any martial art dojos that we can afford

More Inspired Art

I think this is something that will come with time between lessening the burn out of my current art-as-a-coping mechanism goal as well as actually engaging in more media and independent interests as to gain more inspiration.

Question Five: Summarize the Key Points and Plans Discussed in This into a Bullet Points of Take Aways

Modifying Current Coping:

Diversify and lean off of using art as a main coping mechanism; give that one a break

Attempt to go to the gym more frequently or at least space it out more throughout the week

Continue reading; lessen the ideal to every other day in case demand pressure is adversely affecting it

Keep an open interest in playing board games with fiance

Changes I Want To Make Soon:

Start watching Bleach TYBW w/ at least one episode a day

Bring out my violin and try to at least play with it for one hour this week

Reach out to new bird peers to see if they want to plan a birding trip sometime, if not then plan one independently

Make plans to go to that place on Tuesday for the open Buddhist service

Changes to Keep an Eye Out For:

Opportunities to go somewhere new randomly for no particular reason or goal in mind other than to just see whats around us

Spoons and time availability to see out places to expand our irl social circles

Inspiration for art in general

Question Six: Set for Regular Follow Ups to Check Progress

Isn't tumblr's queue / schedule function super neat for this