#but also a love letter of sorts to Ben

[becky5203]

Do y’all think Devi and Ben will be co-valedictorians???🥺🥺

[bosbas]

Chapter 8: no one wanted to play with me as a little kid

series masterlist previous part || next part

pairing: benedict bridgerton x best friend!fem!reader WC: 3.4k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, idiots in love being idiots in love (sort of. it's like pre idiots in love. on the cusp of idiots in love), fluff (so much fluff)

Summary: You and Benedict have been best friends since childhood, but things change dramatically once you come out in society. You’re struggling to find someone you’re as compatible with and who knows you as well as Benedict, all while trying to quell your ever-growing feelings for him. Shenanigans ensue.

A/N: you know what. let's pretend all of the ages/years make sense. kisses to all of you!

December 4, 1809 - Dearest, loveliest, most wonderful Y/I (your initial),

I am so sorry I have not written in almost two weeks, though I did enjoy the very strongly worded letter you sent me reminding me of this fact and demanding a response. I wish I had a better excuse, but truthfully, this term has just been hectic. But to answer the question you so politely asked: yes, I will be home in time for Christmas, and I will be staying for New Year's and your birthday (your birthday is not even two weeks after Christmas, darling, give me some credit!). Though I rather think you owe me a present instead of the other way around after calling me an oblivious toad.

As an apology for my silence, I've attached my reading list for the courses I am taking at Oxford this term so you can also read them. I am sure you will be able to find them in your library but do let my mother know if you cannot find them. We should also have copies in our library. I will be heading back to Aubrey Hall in ten days to see the lot of you, and I will eagerly be awaiting all of your thoughts on this term's reading.

Yours, B

You couldn't help the excited gasp that left your lips as soon as you were finished reading Benedict's letter. You hadn't even managed to leave your entryway before you hastily opened the envelope addressed to you, blurting out a thank you to your slightly startled butler, who had been taken aback by your eager rifling of the mail. 

Now that Benedict was at Oxford, you barely got to see him at all, so you were more than a little excited when you read that you would only have to wait ten more days to see him. The three weeks he was home for the winter holiday were the bulk of your in-person interactions with him for the year, as had been the norm for the past three years he had been at university. 

It wasn't all bad, though. Proof of that lay in a box in your bedroom filled with every single letter or note you had received from Benedict while he was away at Oxford. Even the short ones, when he was studying for an exam and barely had time to write a coherent response, had found a place inside your box. You supposed the box contained most of your friendship with Ben over the past three years, neatly organized by date from oldest to newest and separated by term. 

Sometimes, you found yourself missing Benedict more than usual, and you would read through your favorite of his letters. Often, it ended up being the shortest notes that were the sweetest and ones you would read over and over. Even years after he had sent the letters, you found comfort in his messy scrawl after an afternoon playing Pall Mall without Benedict and his typical banter. But once you saw him at Aubrey Hall every December, it would be like no time had passed at all. You kept him up to date on everything happening at home with your family and his, and he told you wild stories from his time at Oxford. 

And although you enjoyed hearing about his life, it was also bittersweet. You were so jealous of him, wishing more than anything that you could go to university, too. But alas, the pesky issue of your gender prevented you from furthering your education. You got as close as you could, though. Benedict would send you all of his readings every term, and you enjoyed discussing the books you read at length when he returned for the holiday season. 

This is not to say that your conversations about literature and art were limited to your in-person time. In fact, most of your correspondence was about the books you were reading or the galleries you had gone to. Ben could spend pages and pages talking about a particular part of a painting, the way the artist had captured the way light filtered through the trees. And you loved every bit of it, engaging in your usual discussions. In a way, if you ignored how much you missed him, it was lovely to have a physical representation of your friendship. 

However, you would soon stop being constrained to receiving correspondence from Ben every few days, and you could simply knock on his door if you were particularly interested in talking about an aspect of your book. Your time at Aubrey Hall had become your favorite time of year, three weeks of daily interactions with your best friend being the absolute best birthday present you could've ever asked for. 

But this year was different. This was the last time you would have to say goodbye at the end of the holidays, seeing as Benedict was graduating in the spring and returning from Oxford permanently. To say you were over the moon was an understatement. You could barely wait to spend hours in his studio watching him paint again or reading aloud to him under the shade of the tree in your backyard on particularly warm days. 

---

August 12, 1799 - Y/I, I thought you would like this one. Yours, B

Bypassing Alex and Anthony having a heated debate about who was better at billiards, Benedict headed straight in your direction across the garden, ignoring Daphne, Colin, Theo, and Bastian, who had been playing some team game that devolved into an argument. Benedict patted your head as he came by to sit beside you on the grass, momentarily drawing your attention away from the massive book on your lap.

Grabbing the book from your lap and transferring it to his own, he asked, "So, what do you think?"

You let out an excited squeal, shaking Benedict's nearest arm with both hands. "It's amazing, Ben! An entire book about flowers, who knew? I've spent hours looking at it already, and I'm not even halfway through! It's got so much information I could die. It's incredible. Thank you so much." Though it was left unsaid, Ben knew these were hours you would have otherwise spent alone. The twins were especially adamant about not having you play with them, and Alex and Anthony were too caught up in their never-ending competitions to pay any attention to you. With your mother and his being occupied with the toddlers, Francesca, Cass, and Eloise, who had only just begun to walk and talk, you and Ben were truly the only odd ones out. But it was no bother to him. He loved when you read aloud to him, and you would happily listen to him talk about his sketches for hours on end, something he could not say about any other member of the Bridgerton-Beaumont cohort. 

Ben could only laugh fondly at your excitement, internally very proud that he had found a book you really enjoyed. "It's called an encyclopedia. There are loads of them about just about anything and everything in the world," he told you, leafing through the book himself. Gently pushing the book back in your direction, he prodded, "Well, go on then. Show me your favorite flowers so far." 

Grabbing the book, you hastily turned the pages until you reached the flowers, starting with the letter 'd.' Standing up, you rushed to the nearest corner of the garden and dug around for a few seconds, coming back with a bunch of small white flowers clutched in your small hands. 

Ben let out a short laugh, but you quickly shushed him, whining, "Stop it! It'll make sense in a second, I promise."

"I didn't say anything!" responded Ben defensively, putting his hands up in the air but unable to conceal the smile you had elicited from him. 

"Okay. Look at the page. The daisies. They're also called Bellis perennis, but that's in Latin. We have them here in the garden! Isn't that lovely?" you said excitedly, placing the flowers beside Ben.

"Oh, that is quite nice, Y/N," he responded, picking one of the daisies up and placing it behind your ear, eliciting a bright smile from you. "Did you know that a Violet is a type of flower? And so is a Primrose."

"You mean both our mums have flower names? That's so fun. I wish everyone could have a flower name," you responded, excited to have learned new information. 

"You could always give your daughters flower names," Ben suggested, enjoying the pure joy you were getting out of this.

"Well, before I have daughters, I would have to get married. And I don't want to do that! I just want to keep reading books. I want to read every single encyclopedia in the world!" you exclaimed, reaching your arms as high as they could go. 

Ben laughed, highly amused by your antics. "Just like me, then. Except instead of reading it's painting," he responded as he laid down fully on the grass, looking up at the sky and feeling particularly thankful that someone understood how he felt. On the other hand, you took the opportunity to dump all of the flowers you had picked onto his torso, arranging and rearranging them into different designs. He could only laugh, not at all bothered that his shirt would surely be dirty now, just happy to watch you enjoy yourself. 

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you spoke up as you tried unsuccessfully to stack the flowers on top of each other. "That's perfect, then. We can get married, I can read, and you can paint, and we can have a daughter and give her a flower name."

"That sounds wonderful! I'm glad that's sorted," he laughed, lifting his head to find you flashing a toothy grin. "D'you like the name Daisy for our daughter, then?"

"That's lovely! And you can paint her a painting of a daisy for her room!" you responded eagerly. Benedict hummed in assent, busy imagining the dynamics of a blissful imaginary marriage. 

---

January 3, 1810 - Y/I, Happiest of birthdays, darling. Come downstairs, where I have a proper gift and card waiting for you. Yours, B

As you came downstairs, you already feared the fate that awaited you. Every year, your birthday would begin with a very extreme and frankly excessive snowball fight involving all the Bridgerton-Beaumont children. You could trust no one. Alliances would easily crumble under pressure, and people were just as likely to betray their siblings as they would someone from the other family. You and Benedict, ordinarily inseparable, could become sworn enemies in the span of two snowballs. You couldn't even trust sweet Hyacinth, only seven years old, to be loyal to any team, seeing as she was an outstanding double agent, a lesson you had all learned the hard way. It was absolute chaos, and you loved every second of it. It didn't matter how old you were; this was always the best part of your birthday.

As soon as you stepped outside, a snowball the size of your fist hit your right shoulder. Slowly turning toward the perpetrator, you narrowed your eyes once you saw it was Gregory, who had helped you defeat Bastian and Francesca in one fell swoop last year. Clearly, that alliance was gone, and you would have to find someone else to rely on this year. 

Since it was your birthday, the fight officially started when you threw the first snowball, and this year, you chose to throw it at Cassandra, your own sister, who had annoyed you at dinner yesterday by incessantly flinging peas at you. Once the tightly packed ball left your hand, all hell broke loose. You were hit in the stomach and leg simultaneously as you fired snowballs in every direction you could, laughing as you did. 

You briefly ducked behind a tree trunk, needing a moment to breathe. You took advantage of the fact that you weren't a target to form a massive snowball. You carefully stepped away from behind the trunk, checking that the coast was clear. Without a second thought, you flung the snowball as hard as you could in the direction of the person closest to you. 

Unfortunately, it hit Benedict straight in the face, blinding him for a few moments. Your mouth hung open, trying not to laugh because you knew you had packed quite a bit of force into your throw. You ran to Ben's side, apologizing as much as possible without bursting into laughter. He cleared the snow from his eyes and turned to you slowly, an evil grin forming on his face. 

"I believe you have just declared war, Miss Beaumont," he said finally. 

You screamed and ran in the opposite direction, knowing he would be absolutely merciless. You couldn't even look back, not wanting to slow down. After a few seconds of frantic sprinting, you felt Ben tackling you onto a massive pile of snow. Both of you were laughing hysterically while trying to catch your breath. He turned you over so you were lying down side by side, both of you panting heavily, looking up at the winter sky. 

"I miss you," you said finally, turning your head toward him, only to find that he was already looking at you. He pulled you closer, wrapping both arms around you tightly before he helped you up and brushed the snow off of your coat. 

"I know. I miss you, too. But it'll only be like this for a short while longer, and then you can come round every day and read to me while I paint, yeah?" he said, lifting your chin to look at him. 

Your breath caught in your throat, and you felt your heartbeat quicken, his brown eyes not letting yours go. Your eyes flickered to his mouth briefly, your lips parting slightly. Looking back at his eyes, you saw something flash in them that you couldn't quite parse, an expression you hadn't seen before. Finally, you nodded, letting him pull you into him and kiss your forehead, enjoying the warmth and comfort you felt as you were wrapped tightly in his arms.

---

September 17, 1805 - Y/I, I can't believe you had a book about the exact artist I was talking about! I'll pop by yours later to say a proper thank you. Yours, B

Benedict walked into your sitting room, sprawling on the couch before you with his arm behind his head, silently waiting for you to look up from your book. But you had just gotten to an exciting part, and your eyes remained glued to the page, ignoring your best friend's attempt to get your attention. 

You heard him huff and muttered a soft "Just a second, Ben" as your eyes raced across the page, eager to know what happened next. In response, he slid further down the couch and crossed his arms, eliciting a laugh from you and finally drawing you away from your book. 

"You were barely waiting ten seconds, Benedict!" you exclaimed, secretly pleased he was so eager to see you. He was leaving for Oxford in a few weeks, and although you were trying not to think about the reality of him going, you were acutely aware that you would soon be unable to see him every day.

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly, responding with a teasing, "It felt like ten years!" 

In recent months, the two of you had become inseparable. Your days were spent reading next to him as he painted, listening to him talk about his most recent artworks, or going for nature walks if you found yourself in Aubrey Hall. Anything to keep him close by before he left for Oxford, you reasoned. Though you couldn't help the growing affection, you were feeling, finding it impossible to look away when he tousled his hair just so and being a bit too pleased every time he complimented you. Every handsome smile or cheeky wink he sent your way lit you up inside, melting your heart just a little bit.

The problem was, and of course, there was a problem, that Benedict was always like this. Nothing about his demeanor had changed; your friendship was still the same as it had always been. Except now you found yourself spending a little too much time in the mornings making sure your hair looked good in case he popped by unannounced. Regardless, you knew Ben did not reciprocate your affections, so you tried to ignore these feelings as best as you could, folding them up very small and tucking them neatly in the corner of your heart for later examination.

Now, you found yourself on a couch against a wall of Benedict's studio, reading Romeo and Juliet as he was quietly sketching. This was quite possibly your favorite thing to do. Spend quiet afternoons together, reading and painting, enjoying each other's company. You took a moment to look at him as he scrunched his nose, unhappy with a certain aspect of the sketch. 

He sighed and looked up at you, nodding toward your book. "What has Shakespeare got to say today?"

"That marriage is a death sentence," you replied, voice deadpan. 

Ben burst into laughter. "Oh, come off it. It can't be that bad in real life. That's only a play! Besides, you've still got a while before you have to think about that," he tried to reason with you.

"Well, maybe. But it just sounds so unappealing. I want to do this. What we're doing now. I want to keep doing it. I don't want to be a wife! I just want to read and study," you argued. 

Benedict stood up, coming to sit beside you and placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I know, darling. I'm sorry," but he knew you had more to say.

You groaned, pushing your forehead into his shoulder. "I just don't think I'll ever be happy if I'm forced to marry. And I most likely will be, knowing my mother. She'd rather die than have one of her daughters turn into a spinster," you huffed, missing the sympathetic look you got from Ben. "And who will my husband be? A clueless man with no interest in me beyond my ability to be a good wife? I cannot imagine a worse fate."

---

May 8, 1810 - Y/I, I'll keep this one short, seeing how I'll be properly back in a few days! I've been quite busy with graduation, but I'm excited to come home. Yours, B

You smiled as you placed the last letter you had received from Benedict back in your box. The collection was complete. Three years of correspondence between the two of you finally come to an end. You carefully closed the box and returned downstairs, where a big family gathering was occurring in the garden. 

As soon as you stepped outside, Ben was at your side, chatting your ear off about one thing or another. He had barely left you alone since he had been back, granting you only a few minutes to yourself, but you couldn't complain. You wrapped an arm around his torso as you walked back to the garden table. 

"Oh, you look so darling!" cried Violet, cooing at the two of you. 

"You're proper adults now! Both of you! How the time has passed," your mother added, reaching out to hold Violet's hand. 

Benedict could only smile, too happy to be back at your side to focus on anything else. He had missed you loads while he was at Oxford, but having your arm around him now, he realized just how much he needed you. Ben placed a soft kiss on the top of your head, unable to help himself as you sat down at the table. He sat right next to you, taking one of your hands into his own so he could play with your fingers as you chatted with Primrose and Violet. 

Oxford had been a riot, to be sure, but he was so glad to come home to you.

—

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[schmergo]

My mom gave me this chocolate London kit for Christmas and I finally decided to use it as sort of a tongue-in-cheek Fourth of July activity. I love my mom and I don’t think she meant to psychologically torture me, but this experience lowkey led me down a true long dark night of the soul and then utterly broke me. Follow my slow mental unraveling below.

I should add that I am bad at crafts and once got gorilla glue all over my hands while fixing a child’s display-only gingerbread house and spent Christmas break with a hard translucent shell on both hands gradually flaking off over the course of a week, so a fair amount of this may be user error. But also the box says this is for ages 6+ and I’m over 5 times that, so maybe they could have done a wee bit more handholding.

Anyway, here’s my journey, which should absolutely be read in the tone of Jonathan Harker’s letters in the beginning of Dracula.

The first hint that something was wrong happened when I melted the chocolate according to instructions and the next step said to pour it into the molds. The chocolate was not really the “pouring” kind. It was a chunky sort of paste that I had to spoon in. The molds filled unevenly and clumpily and at this point, I asked my husband if he’d let me try to assemble the rest of this on my own because I think I can tolerate my failure better if nobody else witnesses it.

The instructions also cavalierly said to save a “handful” to use as mortar for the chocolate tower.

How much is a handful? A Schmergo-sized hand or a husband-sized hand or what? I have very small hands for an adult, but this is for ages 6+ after all. I opted for a Schmergo-sized handful. I would live to regret that.

I chilled the pieces in the fridge for 20 minutes as directed, then popped them out of their mold. To my surprise, they actually didn’t look THAT bad.

Looking at the pieces of Big Ben that I had to assemble, I became acutely aware that there weren’t detailed instructions on how to fit them together other than just “put them together” and no actual photographs of a real person doing it. The wall pieces were still unnervingly floppy and I decided to freeze them in hopes of hardening them while I focused on the clock itself.

In addition to Big Ben, the kit came with a chocolate taxi and a chocolate double-decker bus. The taxi popped out slightly distorted but in a way I liked, with playful Toontown vibes. But the double-decker bus was still mushy and fudgelike, warping and rippling alarmingly as I tried to push it out of the mold. I opted to put it in the freezer, too, along with the walls of Big Ben.

The instructions said to use the melted remaining chocolate to stick the pieces together and to apply it by sticking my finger in it and rubbing it on. It did not mention that, even after letting the chocolate cool, the warm melted chocolate would make the details of the pieces of the chocolate you’re sticking together start to melt, too.

I began to wonder if this kit had ever been formally tested by anyone and if the instructions were written by AI, like that Google search result that suggests adding Elmer’s glue to your shredded cheese when making pizza to keep it from sliding off.

Nothing can prepare you for how bad the clock part looked, so I’m just going to let you deal with it cold turkey. Et voila.

As I cemented my terrible melted clock together, it occurred to me that I’d have a lot more fun if I really leaned into the ominous post-apocalyptic energy of the abomination before me.

What if this was the result of some kind of whimsical Doctor Who villain— or maybe The Unknown from that infamously bad immersive Willy Wonka experience— transforming major London landmarks into chocolate… during a heat wave?

How will will the new Prime Minister Keir Starmer deal with this on his first day in office?

I yelled to my husband in the adjacent room, “Maybe I’m just turning into the Joker, but this is starting to feel more funny than depressing!”

“Mr. Starmer, a second chocolate vehicle has hit Big Ben.”

The bus actually came out pretty well!

Trying to fit together the pieces of the walls would have been maddening if I hadn’t already been driven mad by the clock portion. The pieces didn’t actually fit together quite right, they were still slightly floppy, and the instructions said— after I was in blood stepped so far that should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o’er— that I was supposed to use ELASTIC BANDS to hold together the tower walls while the chocolate was cooling.

The kit didn’t come with elastic bands and I don’t have any in my house except for scrunchies with my gross hair stuck to them, and I’d already come this far, so I decided to forge onward. Then a piece snapped off.

Honestly, this rules, no notes:

I did it, but at what cost? I don’t know much about British politics, but this feels like a poignant commentary on the current state of affairs or something. Should I submit this to the Tate Modern?

[swallowedbyfandom]

How to reassure via letter

Anthony Bridgerton,

Please come pick up our most whorish brother from my home immediately! Also please bring a complete change of clothing for him. His britches need to be soft and loose fitting. Something that will not rub against his sensitive bits. Per the doctor's orders.

How did this become my life? Why did I ever think marrying into your family was a good idea? Allow me to explain this current fiasco to you.

Benedict ridiculous lush that he is, was so foxed last night he could not locate his own bachelor quarters. He somehow managed to stumble across our home. That sounds harmless does it not? Fortunate even?

Considerate brother that he is, he opted not to knock on our door and disturb our household. He instead got the genius idea to scale over our garden wall. He somehow managed to injury his groin. Which led to him stripping nude to air out his injury. He fell asleep still nude of course in our gazebo. Unfortunately his bottom half was positioned in such a way that it was exposed to the morning sun for quite sometime. You can see where I am going with this.

Please stop laughing it gets worst, Ant.

My staff graciously relocated Ben and his burnt bits to our guest quarters to await the doctor. I was pulled from the nursery and told Mr. Bridgerton was injured in our gardens and need medical assistance. Not a single damn person thought to clarify that is was not my Mr. Bridgerton that was injured. So I strolled into the bedchamber as fast as can be without knocking. Only to be assaulted by the image of Ben spread eagle on the bed sun fried penis and scrotum on full display. My horrified scream brought Colin running to see what was attacking me.

Needless to say, Colin was not pleased Ben "exposed" himself to me. My possessive husband then felt the need to defend my honor. A bottle weary Ben is a mouthy trouble maker. Which led to a shouting match between the both of them. I left them unsupervised as there are some things a sister should never be witness to. The doctor arrived shortly there after. By then he had to treat Ben for sunburn, dehydration, and a black eye.

I have two full grown belligerent Bridgertons in my home. I also have two belligerent infant Bridgertons in my home. Which do you think are causing me the most grief this morning? I cannot deal with these two today, the children are teething. Sort this out!

Your most traumatized sister,

Pen

P.S. The doctor prescribed a burn paste. Ben is refusing to reapply it. He claims it burns too much. I leave this in your hands!

(Card attached to floral arrangement)

Sister,

I apologize that your eyes were so ill treated this morning.

Regretfully, I have seen Ben in worst conditions.

On the bright side, this is prime sibling blackmail material.

Mirthfully,

Ant

(Card attached to floral arrangement)

Sister,

I promise to never pass out nude in your gardens again.

Tell my brother he is evil for setting mother on me.

Love,

Ben

[infini-tree]

walks in. ponifies the characters. walks out

(+ some notes)

the kids' ponified names are just based on Vibes/keeping the same first letters as the original. i kept playing with the idea that the "Heart" part of pony!harold's name should be a compound word, to keep the same number of syllables as Hutchins, but i already broke the "same syllable count" rule with george, so Heart it will stay

the kids' cutie mark is just as straightforward. melvin's is science-y, while george and harold are meant to parallel each other-- at least with the 'pencil drawing part of the cutie mark' motif. the spiral in george's is me being a bit cheeky.

why is it every time i do an au that's more of a design challenge than anything with a concrete plot, george just is the hypno-ring that made krupp cu /j

krupp and captain was the most difficult out of all of them to design since if i had to design one of them, it had to be fitting for the other too. the more natural colors (in comparison to the others) was meant to be more of a reflection of krupp's character, but the neutral color palette also worked for captain too so his accessories popped.

the coat pattern was also there to make sure he doesn't seem too monotonous, but then i learned about horse coat patterns-- specifically blanket patterns... that basically meant captain's underpants is just built into both their coats. its less obvious on krupp since he has a shirt (blue now, since white on white wouldn't look good).

as for krupp's ponified name, it was also a similar struggle since there were no K words that fit his vibe. it was initially "Key" for the longest time (read as: i had to sleep on it), but i decided on "Keeper" since it still evoked that trapping feeling, but it could have more positive connotations in a... protector/caretaker/teacher sort of way.

as for the "Bantam" part, i had wanted to keep a similar enough word to "ben". and having it be shortened to "Ban Keeper" was too good to pass up. bantam is a kind of chicken (which fits krupp's farm past as established in tetocu), but bantam also meant "small and feisty person", which krupp is. but is also what the children he's "keeping" are.

so basically you can read krupp's name as "keeper/caretaker of unruly kids [in detention]", "controlling one's unruly nature", or "farmer keeper", which i personally think is fun

don't worry about krupp hiding his cutie mark! its fine. he's fine.

captain is captain! you know him. you love him. he has changeling motifs due to the nature of the "radiation". apparently, characters gaining radiation/magic based wings and horns are a thing that happened in G5, which i didn't know until recently, so funny coincidences.

captain's cutie mark is underpantyworld. his cutie mark is different from krupp (stares at the changeling motifs)

edith, thankfully was straightforward. her ponified name is just a food name, specifically a type of cheese. her cutie mark is a ladle with some sparkles around it. i changed her dress to just a shirt, and her gloves to be some galosh sort of deal.

and as a bonus since you can pry alien!edith from my cold dead hands, there's a bonus reformed changeling form since that's the closest thing to aliens in this world! "Stemmata" is a type of insect eye, to fit in with the changeling naming convention of naming them after bug body parts, but also eyes because of the whole Two Blue Eyes thing. she was originally supposed to be called "Ocellus", but there's already a character that exists with that name...

i imagine edith defecting from a small hive and accidentally unlocking her reformed form, and she thinks she can't go back even if she wanted to so she just kinda... stays,

[connoisseursdecomfort]

Spies, Lies and Deceptions - Questions

and related theories about Twilight

I went to a special exhibition about spies in the Imperial War Museum in London yesterday. And yes it did make me think about Twilight. So I'm going to make a post about several questions that have always been asked about Twilight.

Why do the agents have to wear WISE pins or earrings or some sort of accessories?

I am opening with the funniest discovery I've made during this visit. BRIXMIS (British spies operating in East Germany) and SOXMIS (Soviet Military Mission. Operating in West Germany) both "were required to drive clearly marked vehicles" and "had to wear uniform on tours". Well...

Regarding Twilight's disguises, why can't he put on more disguises as Loid Forger?

There are indeed examples of how makeups can be done, and how different makes-ups are classified as (i.e. temporary, semi-permanent, permanent). There is this one person tho who didn't use disguises:

Ben Cowburn, who had completed four highly dangerous missions to occupied France, explained in his memoirs that he "wore no disguise in France... an undisguised [spy] could look the same and be different."

Why does his aliases always start with R/L? Why did Nightfall made their aliases so close to their code names?

This could explain why Twilight's aliases always begin with the letters R and L. It could also explain why Fiona had to make their aliases very close to their codenames. It's most possibly how they refer to each other professionally.

Last but not least, there is this one part of the exhibition which would give us a glimpse of what Twilight would ultimately face. The letters between Klaus Fuchs, the "atomic spy", and one of his close friends, Genia Peierls.

Fuchs and the Peierls are close friends. He would even babysit their children. After his arrest, Genia wrote to Fuchs:

For your "cause" you did not have to be on such warm personal relations with them, to play with their children, and dance and drink and talk. You are such a quiet man that you could have kept yourself much more aloof. You were enjoying the best of the world you were trying to destroy. It is not honest. In a way I am glad that you failed to this, because these people taught you the value of humanity, of warmth, of freedom. What did you do to them, Klaus? Not only that their faith in decency and humanity is shaken, but for years to come, they will be suspected of being involved in this with you. Perhaps you did not think about it at the time, bt you must think now. ... Oh, Klaus, my tears are washing away the ink. I was so very fond of you, and I so much wanted you to be happy, and now you never will be. ... You are now going through the hardest time a man can go through, you have burned your god.

And Fuch's reply:

I didn't [think], and that is the greatest horror I had to face when I looked at myself. ... Sorry, I haven't got anybody to type this for me. I hope you can read it. And don't worry, if you don't see the tears. I have learned to cry again. And to love again.

[primalmagic]

letters written in incognito (2/3)

(chapter 1 can be found here. tw for a minor panic attack)

Tyler is doing… better.

Would he be doing even better if he stopped pushing himself to his limits and actually took a break? Maybe. But it’s Tyler. Taylor knows no amount of convincing will get her brother to listen to anything she has to say.

She doesn’t really know what she was expecting, but nothing has changed . The love letter took a seat at the back of her brain, and remained there. Honestly, she’d have completely forgotten about it if it wasn’t for Aiden’s text earlier in the morning- screaming for answers.

Well, that was a lie. A few things changed. For starters, Taylor found herself swearing quite a bit nowadays. There just always seemed to be a fitting occasion for it, and she wasn’t exactly the best at thinking before she spoke. It just… came out. 

And another thing, Ben.

Maybe she was imagining it, but something was off .

He would hardly look in her direction all day, speeding past her in the hallways and ignoring her texts over the weekend. Maybe, maybe, she was thinking about it too hard. Maybe he was busy, or embarrassed about whatever happened Friday night (Taylor wished she could say she was too- but all she could think of was how badly she wanted it to happen again). She really hopes nothing is wrong.

The morning goes by faster than normal, and soon she finds herself sitting down at their usual lunch table.

Today, however, all eyes are on her .

Aiden’s the first to talk, flicking a soggy fry in her direction, “Talk. Now.”

She stutters, pretending she doesn’t know what they’re talking about, “What- uh-”

Logan kicks her in the shin, “The letter? Or did you forget what you texted the group chat on Friday? Cruel, by the way. Making us wait the whole weekend? Absolutely evil. Didn’t know you had it in you, Tay.” He glares at her in scrutiny, but she knows him well enough to understand that he’s joking.

Right. The letter.

She groans, pulling it out of her backpack, ignoring her friend’s shocked stares.

When she brings it out, they all speak at once.

“You KEPT it??”

“Give me that.”

“Oh my god, I thought you were joking.”

“ Finally!” (From Tyler, because Taylor had been adamant on not telling him anything until everyone was there. Even though we literally live in the same goddamn house, Tay…)

She sighs, passing it to Logan, “See for yourself.”

Logan scans the page, eyes widening as he reads through the last lines, “No fucking way.”

Aiden snatches it from his hand, sending him a withering glance, “Way to make me more on edge, Lo. Gimme that thing!”

They wait as he examines it (For such a fast talker, Aiden reads slow ), and Taylor taps at the table anxiously. 

Aiden looks up, eyes wide, and for the first time in forever , he has nothing to say.

Until he does, obviously.

“No way. I mean, not in a bad way- you’re, uh, you’re a wonderful person, Tay. And you like, obviously deserve this and if anyone was to get a secret, anonymous love letter, I’d definitely be you. But also. Holy shit.”

“Language,” Ashlyn mutters, only seeming slightly intrigued. It seems as if she’s more into the chaos than the actual matter on hand.

Aiden flails his hands, gesturing at Logan, “He said the fuck word and you never said anything about that!”

Ashlyn ignores him, gingerly picking up the letter from his hand and giving it a once over. Almost immediately, her eyes narrow, and she glances up. 

“What?” Taylor asks, eyebrows furrowed, because Ashlyn only looks like that when there is something wrong .

She’s silent for a second, before she shakes her head, “Never mind, I thought… no, never mind.”

She looks at Ben, and hands him the paper.

He hasn’t chimed in yet, but then again, he hasn’t even seen the letter. He stares at it, glaring at the piece of paper for a lot longer than necessary. 

“Are you, uh, done reading?” She mumbles.

He jerks up, awakening from some sort of daze, and immediately hands it back to her. He’s still silent, which shouldn’t be concerning, because he’s not exactly the talkative type, but it’s just… weird.

A flicker of hope flutters through her, a “ what if…” that she squashes down quickly.

Reading into things too much has always been her biggest weakness.

“Yeah, so,” She sighs as Tyler reads through it, “I guess that’s it.”

“What are you gonna do about it?” Aiden eats a fry and stares at her in curiosity.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… what are you going to do about it? ”

“No, no, I heard you, I just… I didn’t… what am I even supposed to do in a situation like this??”

Ashlyn looks up from her phone, texting god knows who. “Taylor, I’m going to ask you a question. And you need to be honest with me. I’ll know if you’re lying.”

She says it like a threat, and Taylor knows she might as well take it as one.

“Oh, um, yeah… yeah that’s fine.”

“Do you have someone in mind, that you want it to be?”

Is that a trick question? Obviously no-

Ben.

She chokes on her milk.

“Nope!” She coughs, hiding behind her hand, “Not… not anyone it could be.”

Not anyone who would ever write me a goddamn love letter.

Ashlyn raises an eyebrow, and for a moment Taylor thinks she might push it, might wrench it out of her when the object of her… dilemma is sitting right there.

Instead, she leans backward, “What did you guys get for number 19 on the math test?”

Taylor loves her so much right now.

Aiden frowns, like he doesn’t want to drop the topic but there’s something else on his mind, “It only went to ten, though?”

They all look at him and pause, sharing silent glances.

Yeah, she’s not going to be the one to tell him.

Finally, Tyler sighs, “Hate to break it to you buddy, but there was a back side.”

He slams his hand down on the table so loudly that the other tables turn to stare.

“ THERE WAS A BACK SIDE?”

– 

Aiden catches up to her after school, something Taylor’s been dreading all day. He’s been staring at her since lunch, like he’s trying to solve a mystery but doesn’t have all the pieces.

The interrogation starts off simple. They start the walk home together, Tyler and Aiden on either side of her. They complain about the math test, and Aiden rants about how “ the hell am I supposed to know there’s a back!?”

But it only takes a few minutes for what she’s been dreading to begin.

“ So… ” Aiden starts, and she doesn’t let him finish.

“Spill it,” she rolls her eyes, “I already know you have something to say.” 

Tyler glances at her exasperation, amused, “Woah there, how do you know he wasn’t talking to me?”

“He’s been glaring at me all day , Ty,” she groans, and Aiden giggles like a fucking super villain.

“Well, for your information, Tyler , I was indeed talking to Tay, and I would really love to get back to what I was saying…”

“Spill,” Taylor repeats, her lips quirking up into a small smile.

“Thank god. Okay, okay, I have an idea.”

Well, that’s not a good thing. Tyler seems to agree, judging from his soft chuckle.

“What is it?”

“You said the letter was at your desk, wasn’t it? Fourth period?”

He’s trying to get to something, and Taylor isn’t sure whether she’s going to like it or not. “....Yes?” 

“That means that the person who kept it on your desk sits there in one of the three English periods before you!” He squeals, like it’s some sort of revelation.

“Yeah…?”

“Oh my god, Tay, don’t you get it? We could figure it out! We just need to find someone in each class, ask them to see who sits at your spot, and we’d be able to narrow it down to three people. Don’t you want to know who it is?? It’s so simple!”

Oh.

Well, she has to admit she’s a little curious. 

Aiden keeps talking, “And, and ! Logan has first period in the same classroom, he can give us our first suspect. And Ben’s in third!! I don’t know anyone in second, though… that might be an issue.”

Tyler chimes in, “I think I have a friend who might know a friend who might have a sibling in second period? I can ask around too, a few people owe me favors.”

They’re so emotionally invested in this that Taylor doesn’t have the heart to tell them to stop.

“And then, what?” She laughs, “Get them alone and interrogate each one, asking them if they wrote a love letter to me?”

Aiden frowns, then nods enthusiastically.

“And you support this behavior?” She raises an eyebrow at her brother.

Tyler shrugs, “This is information that I need to have too, you know, as my role of older brother. Gotta make sure it isn’t like… Barron who has been writing ballads of your eyes behind our backs.”

Dear god.

Aiden’s practically vibrating now, “Taylor, this is going to be So. Fun. ”

She smiles softly, “Maybe it will be.”

– 

Taylor doesn’t really think about the letter that much.

Well, that’s only half a lie.

She’s been thinking about who wrote the letter more, her curiosity overtaken by nervousness after imagining all the horrible scenarios that could play out.

And besides, what was she supposed to do?

She already lo- liked someone else, how was she supposed to react when she found out who secretly had a crush on her? Would she have to break their heart?

She hates that thought.

Broken hearts suck.

Seriously, she would know.

She bangs her head on the library table, opening up her binder in hopes of cramming in some studying. She’s been slacking off these few days, due to obvious reasons.

That’s when she notices it, peeking out from a swarm of math papers.

An envelope.

An envelope, that just so happens to be addressed to her.

God, what the hell was going on?

Her hands are shaking, but she barely registers it as she tears it open. She knows what’s inside before she unfolds the paper, knows exactly what it is and she doesn’t know if she hates it or loves it.

Dear Taylor,

I told myself I would get over you, told myself that my last letter would be it. But you found it, and now my entire world has been turned upside down. I still love you.

I’m sorry.

Sincerely, the idiot who left their letter crumpled under your desk.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Taylor thinks she’s going to scream.

It’s too much, She wants to yell, It’s too little.

She hates that they apologized. Apologized for liking her. Because that's just it, isn’t it? Nobody could ever love her and like it. Nobody could ever be happy loving her.

Anyone who’s cared for her has only had to sacrifice.

Her hands are shaking, and this time, she notices it. Her eyes swarm with tears, quick and fast, because she doesn’t know what she’s doing and it’s too much, and it’s not fair, and it’s not worth it.

I’m not worth it.

Even her goddamn secret admirer was mad about it.

It was really messing with her head wasn’t it? The feeling of being wanted, the feeling of wanting to be cared for, of wanting to be given instead of having to give .

She’d been so blind by that hope. So fucking selfish.

Don’t cry, she begs herself. Don’t cry. Please. Hold it together. Don’t make a fool of yourself in a public library. Ben and Aiden will be here in thirty minutes. Get it together before they get here.

GET. IT. TOGETHER.

She’s working on autopilot, her head filled with sludge and broken shards of thoughts floating around, piercing her skull with a million holes.

One thought stands out to her, and she gets up, gets up as fast as she possibly can, and runs.

Autopilot.

Left, right, left, left, right, straight, right.

She wants to scream in joy that the bathroom is still in the same place (which is stupid, it isn’t like it moves, but whatever). 

As she just about enters, she feels a hand on her shoulder, and she wants to scream . She whirls around, eyes brimming with tears, head burning with anger.

“ What the fuck do you want?”

Of course it’s him.

Ben’s eyes widen, and she instantly takes it back.

“Sorry, shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you, god, I’m such a mess right now. I thought you were supposed to be here at 10?” She stuffs her shaking hands in her pocket, trying to look composed.

He raises his phone, showing her the time.

10:03.

Great.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, “Lost track of time.”

What’s wrong?

She almost laughs, because what’s wrong? Everything, everything is wrong right now. “Nothing, I’m fine. Just, uh, need the bathroom.”

He lets go of her, but for some reason, she doesn’t turn around and go inside.

Let’s sit down?

She sighs, knowing he’s seen right through her act. “Yeah, might as well.”

There’s a bench a few minutes away, near the edge of the library, and Taylor knows it's Ben’s favorite place to sit because she always finds him there.

She glances at him, and he looks almost… nervous. 

Weird.

They sit down quietly, and Taylor waits as Ben types.

Hey.

She smiles softly, “Hey.”

What happened?

She hesitates, and then gives in because it’s Ben. It’s already bouncing in her throat, threatening to spill. If she’s going to tell anyone, then it should be Ben.

“I got another letter.”

He tenses up, almost like he doesn’t like that the “mystery someone” gave her another one, and the idea gives her flutters. Maybe she’s being delusional, okay? But a girl can dream, and god , does she want too.

And that’s a bad thing?

Taylor snorts, “Yeah, I mean, if someone who apparently has a huge crush on you also agrees that you’re a mistake, it definitely says something, doesn’t it?”

He looks up at her in alarm. 

What?

She shrugs, “They basically like, apologized for liking me or whatever. I mean, makes sense, I wouldn’t want to like myself either. But, you know.”

He blinks, as if he’s never seen this self-deprecating side of her, and it hits Taylor that he hasn’t . Up until now, they’ve just been thoughts, curses, wandering in the back of her mind.

Now they’re alive.

Tangible

Real .

I’m sure they didn’t mesn it like that, Tayr. I’m sure ita an accident. Youe a great person to like.

He’s typing so fast that it’s incorrect, and the text-to-speech jumbles the sentence up so badly she snorts. “I didn’t understand like, half of that sentence, but still, thank you.”

He groans, staring daggers at the screen like it’s autocorrect's fault for not changing it.

Sorry. Look, I’m sure they didn’t mean it like that, Tay. I’m sure it was an accident. You’re a great person to like.

She scoffs and tries to play it off, “How would you know?”

He looks up at her, vulnerable, conflicted, and something about it makes her feel safe. She’s not the only one feeling this way. 

You’re an amazing person. It'd be hard not to like you.

And okay.

Okay .

She wants to ask him what that means, but he’s already stood up, annoyingly tapping at his phone.

Aiden’s spamming me asking where we are. Come on, let’s go.

Oh well, she’ll just have to ask later.

– 

Aiden might have a little issue with getting too invested in other people’s business

Scratch that. It’s definitely not little.

The entire school knows of her “secret admirer” and they’re all playing detective, apparently. Oh, and it’s also the talk of the school. Lori from period three came up to her and told her how lucky she was, some random kid asked her out, and some other guy pretended to be the one who wrote it.

Which, she was going to ask about, until one of his friends slapped him on the head and told her that he was a year younger than her, so he definitely wouldn’t be in the same class as she found the letter, even if it was a different period.

Turns out, Tyler “asking around” for someone in period two only ended up with a full-fledged rumor winding its way around campus like tendrils of gossip. 

And Taylor?

Taylor can’t escape it.

She meets up with Aiden and Tyler after school, ready to walk home, when some girl comes up to her and claims she knows who wrote it. 

People are doing that now, apparently.

She smiles sweetly, asks the girl where exactly her friend put the letter, and watches her stutter for the right answer. The locker room!

Bzz. Wrong.

She rolls her eyes and walks away, ignoring the girl’s angry huff. 

Aiden’s standing awkwardly, shuffling back and forth like he did when he admitted to losing a frog in their biology classroom.

Turns out the frog was poisonous, and they’d had to evacuate the entire school.

“Hey, uh, Tay… sorry about the whole, everyone knowing thing? I mean, you’re not mad, are you?”

She shakes her head, definitely very fucking angry, but she’s not going to tell that to Aiden . Then he’d get that wounded puppy look and Taylor would feel guilty again.

“It’s fine, I just didn’t realize finding a scribbled out letter under your desk was so… gossip worthy.”

He shrugs, “What can I say? The people need their daily dose of romance, because they’re all too lazy to pursue their own crushes anyway. They’re like, living through you.”

She groans, “By invading my personal life??”

Talking to Ben yesterday had helped her calm down a little bit, even though they hadn’t said that much. But she was getting angstier by the minute, and she felt herself craving comfort. Like, it was weird as hell, but she wanted to be held?

She wanted to cry and have someone listen .

Like… like Ben did.

Goddamnit, why couldn’t the secret admirer love letter guy be him ?

– 

The next day at school, Aiden puts his plan to action. He’s even got a little notebook and everything, helps him get into the vibe, according to Ashlyn.

The entire schools in on it too, although majority of them are completely lying when they claim to find a lead.

Oh, and also, she’s like, popular now?

Turns out being liked by someone so much they write a letter declaring their hopelessly in love with you suddenly makes you everyone else’s object of attraction too?

Like, if one person thinks you’re that awesome, suddenly everyone else does?

Taylor’s never been in the spotlight, but she was just asked out twice in the last hour.

This Is Not Normal. 

“Uhm… uh, Taylor right?”

She turns around to see a guy her age, with soft brown hair and freckles, looking at her sheepishly. He’s holding a boutique of roses, and they’re… pretty.

He holds them out, looking down like he’s afraid she won’t take them. 

“Mh hm! What’s your name?”

“Leon,” he smiles, “Uh, I, uh, got you flowers? And not because of any of this stuff that’s going on or anything, I promise I’m not trying to join the whole fan army you have!” He talks so fast Taylor can barely grasp what he’s saying, “But uh, anyway… I kinda have a huge crush on you? Like, since 6th grade. We were in the same chem class and you- uh, yeah. And I guess this whole thing made me confident enough to confess? I wasn’t ever planning too but, I mean, you’re not someone who should be loved in secret or anything, like whoever wrote you that stupid letter. I just, I just think you deserve better? Uh, yeah, anyway, that’s um. My speech.”

She stares at him for a second.

“Please say something, or I might go jump off a cliff now.”

“Oh!” She startles out of her daze, “Sorry, this is so much right now and I have to get to class, can I… get back to you later?” 

She winces, because really? “Get back to you later?” What the hell does that mean? Stupid, Taylor thinks, Stupid, stupid, stupid.

And even worse, Leon���s kind of… cute. 

Maybe.

( Not as cute as Ben , the traitorous part of her mind thinks).

“Right! Class! Sorry, I didn’t mean to catch you at such a bad time. Um,” he looks down at the flowers, “Do- do you want them?”

Right. When someone gives you flowers, you’re supposed to take them. Not leave them hanging.

She awkwardly takes them from him, and smiles. 

“My phone number is attached to one of the stems,” He rambles, “Text me whenever? I mean, if you want. No pressure or anything.”

“That’s really sweet of you,” She says softly, “I’ll definitely think about it.”

He looks up and meets her gaze, “See you around?”

She finds herself smiling. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get over my stupid crush.

– 

It’s lunch time, and her friends are bursting with information.

There’s so much going on as she enters the lunchroom that she’s finding it hard to keep track of anything. “Okay, okay, wait, slow down guys!” She laughs, “Care to let me know what’s going on?”

They sit down at their regular spot, everyone talking about various things at once.

Aiden shrugs, “We’re talking about the chemistry quiz, your letter fiasco, and the fact that Barron tripped over and fell in the parking lot a few minutes ago. All in one conversation, I think.”

“Riiight- why are we thinking about Barron-?”

Aiden and Logan exchange glances that she really doesn’t like. Tyler just looks at the floor like he’s about to murder someone.

A second of silence passes before Aiden starts, “Okay, so, Logan says there’s this girl who sits their first period, who’s name is Ava?” 

Logan nods approvingly at him.

“Good job, Lo. Suspect number 1 has been caught!”

“We’re not putting them to prison, dear god,” Ashlyn mumbles, but her exasperation is betrayed by a soft smile.

Aiden turns his attention to Ben, “Sooo… what about third?”

He looks up from his phone, like a deer caught in headlights, and blinks. No one. 

“Nobody sits there?” Logan frowns, “Huh. Guess that narrows it down to Ava and… Ba- Um. The person in second period.”

Silence.

Okay, something was up.

“What's going on, you guys?” She mumbles nervously.

“It’s Barron by the way, the one who sits in that seat second period.” Ashlyn offers, still cramming in math homework while eating. She doesn’t even look up, just casually drops the bomb and leaves it at that.

“Oh- that’s- oh-”

“It, uh, gets worse,” Tyler grumbles, “We asked the girl, and she doesn’t even know who you are. She’s a transfer student who only got here a few weeks ago.”

“Barron,” she states, numbly.

“Barron,” Aiden groans.

“Barron,” Logan offers.

“Can we please stop repeating that goddamn bastard's name?” Tyler hisses, “I’m so fucking glad he tripped in the parking lot.”

“But… Barron,” she repeats, numbly.

God, they must have manifested this with all their jokes.

There’s no fucking way Barron wrote her a love letter.

screaming it took me a month but !! here is chapter two !! hopefully chapter three will be out soon, bc i already have like half of it written. hope you enjoyed reading! feel free to comment with questions, advice, or just to let me know you read, i appreciate every comment :] on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57313345

[kaybreezy3000]

How do you think the umbrellas felt about fan letters/fans having crushes on them and stalking them? Individually.

Your question instantly reminded me of this silly little PowerPoint project I did to add to one of my first Five Centric fanfics. As you can see, it's a fan letter directed at Five, and it's rather suggestive. In that story, Five did not jump to the future apocalypse at the age of 13, that didn't happen until he and his siblings were 16, so that left time for me to dabble with him and the rest of them getting to experience some of the coming-of-age fun and drama teens often get to face.

I am not trying to plug my stuff here but it's totally about what you are asking and if you are interested in reading a story style answer to your question, as it mostly focuses on Five but also does mention the rest of the family too, you can click this direct link to it on AO3 or find it on my Tumblr Master list. It's aptly called, 'The Anti Hero's Pitfall of Arrogance,' and like many of my other TUA stories, it's rated Teen and up because you can easily skip the explicit stuff and get warnings for the more triggering parts if you aren't down with that, then read the end notes in those sections and still get the point of what happened and still enjoy the story.

When I think of your question as it relates to all the Hargreeves in the show's version of things and how it really went down, I would have to say that from what we saw of their younger years, we didn't get much information on how they felt about fans and their crushes on them, or them potentially getting stalked. But even though the show didn't really go there in any depth, I think we can say that Allison was supposedly a favorite of the press and perhaps the fans too, as was probably Luther with his Number One, standing tall and ripped, pretty boy perfect blonde Ken doll thing he had going. I bet they both loved the attention, but Luther probably was not bold enough to do much about it besides gloat about it to the others and then feel sheepish for doing it in front of Allison because of their own little forbidden crush thing the show had going on for them.

I would imagine bloodied and broken down Ben shied away from all of the public attention, and maybe he wasn't even targeted by it like the others were by adoring fans, and that would be because of 'The Horror' thing he was dealing with, and his own feeling about it were complicated, and the fact that people might have been scared shitless of the poor kid might not have helped, which only probably added to how Ben wanted nothing to do with the thing inside him. All that maybe even effected Ben's inability to own the monster within, and that could even play into stuff that might come out in our final season. I could totally see 'The Jennifer Incident,' being something awful that went down in the public eye or maybe behind closed doors. It could have been something to do with a fan-not a love interest, but a fan, or even a fan that became his friend. Lately, I have been going with other theories on the Jennifer thing, but that is still a big one for me and I wrote a version of that idea happening with our dear Ben in my first TUA series, Paramore (The Umbrella Academy).

When it comes to Ben and looking at him as the Sparrow Ben, I think it proves my point about him and Five, a point that I make a little lower down. When alive and given a chance and not feeling so shitty about himself and the Horror inside him, Sparrow adult Ben was all about the fans hanging out with him in the club. He was an attention whore for lack of a better phrase and a snob, and it was hilarious. He was going for it like any public figure who is adored does with the fanatics that love him. That is sort of interesting to note being original Ben's fate was so different, but it could have been him doing that too if his childhood had gone the other way.

Diego the ever amazing Batman wanna be, B rated superhero of the family, probably would have eaten up the attention of the fans, both the guys and the girls. Back then when they were kids, he for sure wanted to be the hero basking in the limelight, just like Luther. I bet those two would have been fighting over fan letters, claiming they had more than the other. In the story I wrote and mentioned above, that is exactly what happened with those two and Five got pulled into the mix despite his insistence that he didn't give a shit about what other people thought of him. Egos are egos and boys will be boys and The Umbrella Academy had plenty of them behind its walls, not to mention all the teenage hormones. OH, the DRAMA...😜

When it comes to Five, I think if he had been around to get this kind of attention from fans, being a little older than 13 like he was in my story, or even before that if they got fawned over like that while they were so young, he would have pretended that he didn't care about it, but really he totally would have, maybe even more than the rest of them.

Outwardly, I think of the 13-year-old Five as not at all being interested in crushes and things like that. He'd deem fan letters and the idea of giving his time to them as way beneath him and the more important things he was doing-like crunching numbers and figures, trying to figure out how to time travel with his father explicitly told him to leave it alone. That said, Five is so smart, maybe smarter than all of them, and sometimes it seems to get in his way of seeing the light before it's too late. Reginald was right on that, as Five admitted.

When it comes to understanding people, I am thinking when Five was young, and even now when he is way older mentally, he is not the best with social graces or knowing his way around situations with other people involved. He's also a bit naive when it comes to love, and relationships based on true intimacy because the only one we can say he really had was with Dolores and she is pretty much just another extension of him, so it's limited in what he can learn from that.

When it comes to real people, Five usually seems all sorts of not sure what to do and usual blocks them out. That happened in my story when he was 16, and him thinking like many 16-year-olds would when thrown that lipstick kissed letter, he started to think things about girls that he really hadn't been focused on until that point. Naturally the feelings were in him, but he'd ignored them, and when the switch was flipped on, and he 'turned on' things turned into a very naughty situation fast, and yeah...teen Five doesn't handle it so well.

Five's arrogance hits extreme levels in the show and my story and that masked dark haired smirking boy bundled in his winter coat on those steps in the photo shown below ends up making a big mistake and pays hard for it, but we also get to see all the vulnerability in him as he flounders, and that's really what that whole story I did and the shows depiction of him is about. Five so many things. They all are but, in the end, they are human, and we all crave attention, and we all fuck up, especially when we are young.

Five is a bit of a mess then and now, just like all of them, but in my head, he's the worst off with that, with Benny boy coming in a close second. Neither of them got to grow up like a normal person would. Neither got to go through all the first kisses, and blunders, and epic wins a teen or younger person normally would.

I think all the Hargreeves kids were mega vulnerable in a way that most normal kids their age wouldn't' have been. That and being filled with unimaginable power and put in front of the world the way they were, they'd all be desperate for all the attention the fans were willing to give them. They'd seek it just like the approval they all are constantly trying to get from Reginald. Some of them would take it further like Five did in my story, going for cheap thrills and anything they could get with some of the more persistent fans. The older they got, I am sure Reginald's hold on them slipped more and more and sneaking out and getting involved with the world would have been inevitable at some point for all of them. But, that said, in the show, what they showed us made it seem that once the Umbrella Academy disbanded, the world sort of just let them go too.

That may not have been that case, I am just saying it's not like they said that Diego was a big player after he left, cashing in on chick's interest in him from his days at the academy. It never gave the impression that their fame helped any of them in any way, other than Allison, and for her, she Rumored her way into Hollywood, or so it's implied-not sure if she did or not or if people just accused her of it.

Poor Viktor, like in everything, wouldn't have been a part of the fan frenzy. He wasn't allowed to be. Like in all things, he probably felt left out and that left a lasting impression on him. It was just another thing that would have hurt like hell but also makes him so different than them in how he thinks and acts now. For a dude that nearly ended the world, twice, he's actually pretty levelheaded compared to the rest of the gang and I am not surprised that in the trailer, he seems to be doing relatively well living a normal life. Out of any of them, he'd be able to do it since he'd been led to believe he was ordinary for long.

Lastly, when it comes to Klaus, he'd have been like all of them with fans, he'd have gravitated towards the extremes of the fake love, even if it was from crazed girls and guys throwing trinkets their way when they were allowed out or leaving it on the steps of the Academy. When he got older, he'd have been all about sneaking out, going to parties, meeting people, take all sorts of mind-altering substances while letting his notoriety as one of the infamous superpowered kids of the Umbrella Academy get him anything he could his hands on. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll people, think that with Klaus. He would have wanted real true friends, maybe more than the others would have because he's so outgoing and full of wonder, but in the end the fans and their crushes would leave him empty, just like the drugs.

I think we saw that in season one, the first episode, with Klaus in the ambulance with the med-tech in back that knew him, it wasn't just because Klaus had been on his gurney several times before while overdosing. I think the world never forgot them even after they all grew up and become nobodies, but the sad thing is, their fame faded, just like their trust in each other and the idea that they were there for a higher purpose.

And thus...we real fans in the real world got the Umbrella Academy, and now we are the IRL people who are obsessing over these complex and so loveably broken characters. 😄

~~~~Thanks for another great question anon. I really enjoy doing this kind of character analysis with you. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below or private message me anytime. 😉 💞

[frownyalfred]

okay the extent to which your amazing fucking fics are possibly infecting every corner of my brain now is starting to get legitimately concerning,,, which isn't actually news, but what IS new is the way i looked at that one BvS gif you just blogged yesterday?? and IMMEDIATELY saw the facial expression ben affleck made and went "WOMAN!!!"

....LOOK MAYBE I'M THE CRAZY ONE HERE, I GET IT OKAY but like,, something about that bitchy expression where you just KNOW he's saying the pettiest fucking line just then?!?! i swear on my life i have NEVER seen a cis man's face do that before, with the CLOSEST approximation i possibly would have thought anybody with a Y chromosome was capable of [before seeing that gif] being the sort of expressions drag queens do. (i hope that doesn't sound too weird/dismissive — not to go off on too much of a tangent, but i could probably write At Least one essay on why it's okay to admit that drag as an art form is not really an accurate depiction of femininity, AS LONG AS you acknowledge that drag is still Absolutely a beautifully, passionately written love letter TO the concept of femininity that fully deserves the appreciation it gets; but this is still not what i'm actually here to talk about lol)

okay yeah ANYWAYS that gif just absolutely SOLD me on the concept of bruce as an omega, and i'm saying this as someone who literally already has an omega!bruce WIP!! like, i've always thought the core philosophy behind batman tends to make him unintentionally very female-coded (and i must confess, i'm really curious to see whether you already have an opinion on this lol) in many different ways, but this is the first time i've seen/heard ANY GUY, let alone a batman actor with the right physicality to be batman, pull of this specific look, so i guess i'm just... shocked to be vindicated??? idk lol but i wanted to share so hope u at least enjoyed my manic ramblings a little bit <3 -krish

Batfleck is pretty! I've been saying that for years! He's this very intriguing mix of pure Batman physicality like you mentioned (man is canonically bigger than Clark in BVS) but also so beautiful and downright mesmerizing in certain close-ups on his face. Plush lips, high cheekbones, big, shining eyes? On Batman?? Sign me up!!

People laughed at me when I specifically started a coral room in the BVS universe, because I know most superbat a/b/o fics generally use a smaller, more omega-typical Bruce (which isn't bad!). But I wanted to challenge the trope stereotype by still having large, muscular Bruce lean into those more feminine moments like you mentioned -- it's an interesting contrast, seeing him hold so much space and power yet as soon as he makes eye contact with Clark, it's almost...sensual.

I think there are a lot of interesting stereotypical female roles Batman as a character unintentionally fulfills. He's the head of a family, the emotional center, the one adopting children, the one reassuring them. The fun I'm having with a sky of honey is just letting Bruce name these behaviors for what they are, in universe -- attempts at fulfilling his instincts that he keeps trying to curtail or avert entirely.

(gif in question below for those who are curious)

[toomanytookas]

Discovering Lit Through Fic: A Rec List

Created for the Pedro Pascal Fandom Bingo Game from @burntheedges! The challenge was to create a rec list of 3+ fics for a single trope or theme.

It's always fun to find mention of a book, poem, or other literary work that you love in fic, and I also enjoy how such inclusions can lead to finding new things to read!

A bit of a tangent, but there's a fic that I've very frustratingly never been able to re-find in a different fandom that I still will never be able to forget because I have two books on my shelves because of it! Funny how things can stay with us even as they disappear.

This list brings together works that I have encountered in the PPCU fandom that have somehow incorporated mentions of published literature (including poetry, prose, and one play so far!). Some integrations are more central to their tale while others are a passing mention, but each is a fun little easter egg that adds a unique dimension to the characters and stories at hand.

Alpha sorted by character then by author. I will update as I find more!

Ben

Visiting - @ladamedusoif - chaptered (ongoing) Works featured*: War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy; Spielberg, Truffaut and Me: An Actor's Diary by Bob Balaban *I've only just started reading this one today (haven't even gotten a comment off, but I promise I will soon, Rose, sorry to jump the gun and do this first!), but I'm pretty sure there will be more references given that Ben is a lit prof. I'll come back and add once I'm aware of them.

Dieter

Below the Line - @prolix-yuy - chaptered (complete) Work featured: Wieland by Charles Brockden Brown

Frankie

snowdrop - @5oh5 - part ii of a chaptered work (ongoing) Work featured: A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle

All for You - goodwithcheese - chaptered (complete) Works featured: The Big Burn by Timothy Egan; The Book of Delights: Essays by Ross Gay

Javi

Paranoid Heart - @goodwithcheese - chaptered (complete) Work featured: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers

Joel

Maintenance Request - @burntheedges - chaptered (ongoing) Works featured: Poetry by Louise Glück, Ross Gay, ee cummings, Anna Akhmatova, and Alexander Pushkin (trans. Babette Deutsch)

Dawn's First Light - @honeyedmiller - oneshot Work featured: No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre (as well as a quote from a letter that he wrote that the internet has widely decided not to identify the source for (sigh), but I think is likely one of the letters he wrote to Simone de Beauvoir... Will update once I've figured it out or someone lets me know!).

Lucien

this high of you & me - @kedsandtubesocks - oneshot Work featured: The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo

*

If you know of or have written works that fit this theme, I'd love to hear about them! Please feel free to shout them out in the comments. Also if you're an author I've read and I accidentally left a work of yours that fits this theme off the list, please forgive my swiss cheese brain and let me know so I can add you!! 💕

Date first published: 5 April 2024 Date updated: 5 April 2024

[sparklezzzzzzsstuff]

🏛️CREEPYPASTAS AS GREEK MYTHOLOGY FIGURES💯

I’m not actually sure if someone has done this before but I was js having a brainrot and got this idea tbh, should this have stayed in the drafts? maybe💀, but I really wanna hear others thoughts and opinions on it cause AGHH. I eat up AU content so I thought I’d try making my own even if it’s flops. Most of this is up for interpretation cause I had WAYYY too many ideas/alternates for these.

Okay here we go yap time

(No no you can’t tell who’s my favorite….)

No warnings!!

Ben-HERMES 🪽

For Ben I was really thinking of someone leaning more on the playful/mischievous side cause i feel that’s a huge part of most people’s headcanons for him (including mine).

I thought who better than Hermes cause if ur a fan of EPIC (Circe saga specifically 🤓☝️) I felt that Jorge Rivera really protrayed Hermes with a playful/childish demeanor and even if was helping Odysseus he was like “yeah ur probs gonna die anyway bud” and it kinda resonates with Ben cause he’s just in it for shits n giggles tbh.

Being the god of messages I feel like Ben would have a lot of fun spreading misinformation around the mansion (or wherever if the mansions not ur thing 😔).

Also in a way I feel like it’s the same thing with his powers and tech savvy skills. I remember seeing a few people on here hc his job was security cams and stuff so he knows the shit you’re up to😰

Yk wether it’s sending emails under rando accounts or discord messages about his latest obsession he’s not afraid to SEND👏THAT👏MESSAGE👏

In general I feel like one could argue he’s unfiltered tbh

ALSO ALSO flying shoes = floating ghost 🤔

I feel Ben could definitely be capable of showing empathy/giving help to heroes in need and stuff but overall he’d just prefer to get into mischief and do things for his own benefit.

He brings a lot to the table! (that is if you can clear off the Pokémon cards and Zelda figurines)

For example, if there was a mansion in this au (the world they live in is up for interpretation cause I love the idea of Ancient Greece but I’m loyal to the cringe mansion I love dearly 😔)

Teleportation comes in handy for when slender decided to give out hand-written letters that come with Cheeto dust fingerprints(Ben swears they were there before) (they were guys dw bout it…)

Something else I’ve seen on here is that he’d float to make himself taller and i will take this to the grave idc if i die on this hill.

SUPPOSE they had outfits and he had to be pried off the hot topic isles and link getup. I genuinely do not think he’d fw the sandals im sorry 😔. He’d slap something else on and call it a day. Or maybe not tbh..he’d think they’re cool.

I feel like outside of this AU he’s a bit of a chatterbox so..IN this AU he’d probably use deliveries as a way to talk the ear off and bother hang with his friends and fellow Creepypastas.

Anyways, in summary Ben can impish and irresponsible but he’s a master of his craft and if there does end up being heroes to guide he wouldn’t hesitate to…interfere.

“You want to beat her? You’ll need the blessing of a certain god, divine intervention, someone who’s not afraid to..send a message”

Nina-CALYPSO🐚

Nina my beloved scene girl this one’s for you

First order of business shout out to @jeffthekillerzblog and his au about Ben, Jeff and Nina’s arcs I love them sm. The whole idea of her getting over Jeff and sort of becoming her own person without him is awesome and I can definitely see it in my au too.♥️♥️

I chose Calyspo because when met with Odysseus she was instantly head over heels, turning into a kind of obsession and yearning for company😔👏(yeah same)

I think Calypso’s whole idea of “I love you and I think I’ll die without it” resonates with what Nina used to be with Jeff and her need for his affection.

Although I don’t really think Nina would necessarily keep a partner as a hostage on an island I think she tends to feed into that kind of delusion of a healthy relationship when desperate for attention

In terms of style and aesthetics Calypso and Nina are pretty much opposite (Nina scene style I am loyal to you) however in this au I’d think she’d wear a lot of pink layered robes and fun jewelry. I like to keep style up for interpretation just cause it’s fun.

Ultimately Calypso does do the right thing and lets Odysseus go,(with pushing from Ben Hermes) I do think at heart Nina knows it isn’t right but she still longs for love.

It gets lonely on an island okay?🤨

“Tell me though, who’s Penelope?”

“She’s my wife…”

“…”

“Anyways! I’ve got all you could want here, all you could need here..just you and me my dear, my love for life!”

EJ-HADES🪦🥀

ALRIGHT. Here’s the thing, at first I wanted to choose Slenderman for this because it just felt right. However I wanted to choose Ej instead because I took into account the storyline with Persephone. (Also with Jeff and smile dogs friendship I was thinking him too cause smile dog could be his Cerberus ugh😔)

From my interpretation of others HCS and mine I definitely see Ej as a lone wolf so what better place to be dark and ominous than the underworld itself?

Dramatically staring out into a sea of souls while Chappell Roan , Radiohead plays in the background/j

I do think Ej would enjoy the isolation and in my hc he’d rather hide away from the others because of his demonic nature, and nobody there to pester him (besides Ben with his emails of course).

Anyway, going back onto the Persephone storyline because it was a dealbreaker between Slender and Ej.

I thought about which one would really want to seek love. In past HCS of slender I’ve seen that he is in fact capable of caring (if ur a fan of the mansion and believing he collects traumatized children like Pokémon or infinity stones) .

So, let’s say Slender is actually capable of caring, would he really wanna go seek love? I kinda see him as a single dad but I’ve debated it tbh. For now I’m just going with single dad who’s not interested in romance but rather power.

So that left me with Ej, I think Ej still has some human in him. Whatever was left behind after his transformation/sacrifice made him yearn for company even being ruler of death. (He’s got Cerberus aka smile dog 🤷‍♀️maybe a couple skeletons idk)

Anywho if he did happen to stumble upon Persephone, rather than kidnapping her pissing her mom off I think he’d be too scared to approach her 😭

In the sense that he wouldn’t want to scare her with his appearance even with the mask.

Maybe his Persephone is a kidney? Who knows 😔

“If I became the monster and threw that guilt away would that make us stronger?”

JANE-ATHENA🦉📖

I’ve been waiting for this I’m about to go crazy

Athena, warrior and goddess of wisdom, not to mention hella creative.

I feel like this matches with Jane’s sense of responsibility and maturity. In my hc Jane is a STROOOONG WOMAN😍😍🤤. I also saw someone on here saw she does poetry and I couldn’t agree more

Athena,who has no husband—oh look at that Jane doesn’t either she’s happily married to Mary(idc if Athena doesn’t marry. THIS one did.)

Aura if I’ve ever seen it

COOL WEAPONS COOL WEAPONS and armor tbh. Feminine robes and the usual Athena getup.

If you’ve listened to God Games then I don’t need to speak any further on how driven she is too succeed, “bring it” attitude.

I think it’s nice how Athena and Ares rivalry can be intertwined with Jane and Jeff’s backstory, despite Jane having coming to terms with it she still has sought vengeance.

Much like Athena in the Arachne story tbh

Independent fr fr, def wants to protect her wife from any other gods but also doesn’t worry about anyone messing with her.

I see her as a really good leader tbh

Wise tree af, knows you better than you know yourself and WILL use it against you if you piss her off.

Outsmarts people for breakfast.

In terms of Odysseus I think she’d def get annoyed with him but because shes got more important things to worry about she sticks with him.

“Goddess of wisdom, master of war, my life has one mission…create the greatest warrior.”

Jeff-ARES

Alright. God of war you know where this is going. Major anger issues but he’s sm more than that guys trust pls it’s just for the plot guys pls come back where are you going—

Angry ANGRY guy that’s why I chose him

Also I get major fire nation zuko vibes from him..NOT just cause he was burned I swear on my life

Anyway, if you’re lucky enough to not die and finally see past the blood thirst you’d see a whooooole lot of angsty regrets and if you peel it back a little more he’s bi

Fighting the demons daily

All those battles go straight to the head and probably boost his ego (FAKE FAKE FAKE) to no end.

I interpret ares as arrogant, brutal, and egocentric but I think a good arc for Jeff would to be to try and change that (maybe even heal some burned bridges with Jane, and his brother, who knows??)

He’s trying I swear

Ben def hangs with him and try’s to make him turn a new leaf and leave his asshole ways. (Even if he isn’t the best influence)

Quite literally insane idk what to tell you

Still love him though he’s a new guy I swear ignore the blood on him that’s normal you’re crazy.

“What kind of sick coward holds back his power while his friends get devoured? He didn’t even fight Scylla…didn’t even try to kill her.!”

Aaaaaand the crowd goes wild. Unfortunately those are all the characters I have inspo for rn but I hope more will come to me!! Also I wish I could have found a better quote for Jeff but oh well. All of these quotes are from EPIC/god games by Jorge Rivera-Herrans!! :). Honestly kind of scary to think of a mansion in this au it wouldn’t last 8 seconds. Would Ej technically live in the basement?? I’d love to hear others thoughts on this cause why not just add ☝️

Happy summer ya’ll☀️☀️☀️

[intheorangebedroom]

Pleased to meet you

The random HC edition!

Happy Frankie Friday, everyone!

I am very sorry this next chapter is taking so long. You can blame the fucking holidays that played with my mental health like it was a Kendama. It may not look like it, considering the length of this silly post, but I'm actively working on it.

As I've stated before, I have way too many HC about this story. Here are some, completely random, no one will care about. Enjoy!

[series masterlist]

(and please, why is his fucking belt UNBUCKLED)

Frankie

If you really want to know my Frankie, you can read this near extensive love letter, which was originally closer to a 10k ramble. Here's a few extra details (there are many more stored up in my sick brain).

Frankie will tell you that his favourite book is not The Master and Margarita. Don't believe him. That's a lie. Instead, he'll argue that it's In Cold Blood, by Truman Capote, All Quiet On The Western Front, by Erich Maria Remarque, a close second (which is a nod to myself about my next story). He also loves Gabriel Garcia Marquez. He used to read a lot more when he was in the Army, nowadays not so much, somehow.

His favourite movie genre is science-fiction, and his favourite movie of all time is Close Encounters of the Third Kind (can you guess why?) He also has a particular fondness for Solyaris, Sunshine and Monsters. And in a couple of years (PTMY is set in 2014-205) he will love Prospect (do I need to link that?). He also loves documentaries, especially the science ones.

His favourite bands are Jefferson Airplane (Grace Slick's voice does things to him) and, well, Fleetwood Mac, which is a sort of fandom consensus for P boys that they all like FM, right? His favourite song is Dusty Springfield's Windmills Of Your Mind, which he never told the boys because they would give him hell. It reminds him of his mother.

Izzy would like him to be more in touch, culturally speaking, with his Argentinian roots. But it's a very complicated topic for him. Argentinian cuisine is, however, by far his favourite (he loves good meat).

Frankie has a thorough, obsessive mind. When he gets into something, anything, he wants to know everything about it, understand how it works, break it down and rebuild it entirely, and he will spend months, sometimes years, fixated on the same book/movie/object/painting... woman.

Benny

Benny has never been much of a reader. But he's a music connoisseur with eclectic tastes. He's always looking to discover new music, and his favourite app is Radiooooo. Please don't talk to him about CDs, he will hurt you, vinyls are the only way to listen to music if it's not live. He has far too many favourite bands to list (and even I don't know most of them, they're too obscure).

His favourite movie genre is HORROR (capitalised because when he tells someone, it is always excitedly, and in a very loud voice) and his favourite movie is The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (close second: An American Werewolf in London). I have it down to his favourite scene, in case you're wondering just how crazy I am.

Don't let the golden retriever demeanour fool you, he's a very sharp, insightful movie watcher, he can break down any given scene for you and he has a passion for makeshift special effects.

He'll eat quite literally anything, especially if it has eggs or cheese in it (he's actually a very good cook, but you don't want to clean after him), but his favourite dish is his mother's mac & cheese, because he's cute like that.

Will

A word on my Will. He's a very refined, educated, sensitive man. A man of cold logic and rich inner world, complex thoughts and curated emotions. Will is an iceberg. We only see 10% of him. There is this original wound in his childhood only Ben knows about (it's a family thing), but one day in the near future he will tell Reader. He's a dreamer, and a romantic, as well as a very practical man, which in his unique case is not mutually exclusive. He and Reader are very alike and insanely close, I cannot stress that enough.

He enrolled after 9/11 because he thought it was his duty and he sincerely believed he was going to make a difference. He crashed so hard when he realised what was what. Still, he soldiered on, pun intended, because he had committed himself to the job. He is, as he himself puts it, a warrior, but he would have made a damn fine architect or artist.

When Jean left him, she broke his heart. It didn't make him bitter, however, on the contrary, he developed more empathy (which might come in handy... 👀). He is the only one who acknowledges the traumas they all went through and sought treatment for it.

He's not too big on movies, but his favourite is Citizen Kane (which Reader ADORES. I have so many HC about her, because I suck at reader's insert and she's a complete OFC without a name and a writer with the courage to formally declare her such). He likes classic rock and Debussy and trusts his little brother to make him discover new sounds.

ETA: His favourite novel is Anna Karenina.

Seriously? I've never loved a man so much while being not remotely attracted to them.

Santi

I'll be honest here, Santi is a bit of a mystery to me, and I spend just as much time trying to decipher him as I spend imagining Frankie's or the Millers' childhood (don't worry, I will spare you. For now).

We know what kind of music he listens to. Music for motivation, if you ask me. It's less about the tune itself than setting the mood in which he needs to be.

I believe he likes food. Good food. He will not, unlike Benny, eat anything, very far from it. His job is his life. But he does like to travel for leisure. Also, total lack of imagination on my behalf, here, but he's from Guatemala.

He and Frankie met first, at the very beginning of their military careers, but Frankie became very close with Will and even more so with Benny when they met later on. Santi and Frankie have a deeply rooted yet looser bond. They can go for months without talking to each other, but will very naturally pick up where they left off. Benny is Frankie's best friend. For now, at least.

Tom

Name one person who cares. Not me.

***

Now ok, I hear you, you're screaming at your screen "did I just read a shittone of useless stuff I never asked for in the first place???" And please, mind you, I'm sparing you the HC on Izzy, Rosie and Yovanna. I'd just like you to know that Izzy's bi.

So to atone for that, I will tell you how the PTMY boys fuck.

Frankie

Frankie fucks with a vengeance. It's an outlet. A necessity.

However, nothing will happen until he's got his partner's explicit consent. Another consensus about Frankie, he is very respectful of women. It's in his nature, and Izzy did a very good job educating her little brother as a feminist.

His first kiss was Brionna (you better believe he got the girl he wanted. And she never regretted having him as her first kiss either) and his first time was with one of his sister's friends, Selena. He was a scrawny 15-year-old, however already very... charming, and... motivated. She was 19 and slightly condescending at first, like “ok, you cute, I'll take your virginity.” Let me tell you, she was in for quite a surprise. She certainly didn't expect him to make her come. This hard. Twice.

Like I said, obsessive and thorough... When he started being into girls, he downright studied the subject so he could master it and be the best. Not competitively, though. He's too selfless. He's a very tactile, sensory person. He needs to taste, inhale, touch. When he cares, his hands are on his partner, always.

Oh and Izzy got super pissed at him for fucking her friend.

Yes, his favorite meal is 🐱 and yes, he will make his partner come multiple times before he does anything else, but when he's done with that, he will turn them over and fuck into them at a punishing pace. That's why, in the darkest period of his life, he favoured intercourses with professionals. Who he also treats with the utmost respect. Over the years, 🐱 eating has become a quest. He's always and forever looking for your taste. And as he does, he'd rather not see his partner's face, so he can forget he most likely will never taste you again...

But it wasn't always like that. In college, he was literally drowning in 🐱, as word quickly got out of his prowess. And he was exceptionally soft on Pilar, the Mexican girl, the only woman he really ever had a relationship with, and boy, did he break her heart when he left. He had no intention of hurting her, and he tried his best to be gentle, but he felt like staying with her was being dishonest.

And of course, there's you.

Ok, one more for the road, because it makes me sweat.

Benny

Benny's quick (compared to the other ones) but deadly efficient. He's got stamina. He's playful. Sex with him is simple, and fun, and good. Very good. He will make his partner feel soooo good about themselves and their body. He's talkative (likes to let them know what's on the menu before he starts), and he'll be into whatever they're into. He. Is. Game. Toys? Alright! You wanna be tied up? Why not! You want him tied up? Let's go!

Oh and he's a tits man. And he likes ALL of them. Any shape any size any colour.

Will

Ah. Will. Will would rather be in love. But, you know. You can't always be. This said, no matter the circumstances, he will be entirely cued in to his partner, careful to please and to pleasure. Completely selfless as well. Also great stamina. Guess it runs in the family. But when he's in love? Phewwwww... When he's in love, his moves belong in a museum. It is ✨art✨

Santi

Santi is in for the performance. He's a showman. Which at times gets in the way of the result, despite him being a very good partner. Yovanna exposed him, on this one, though. Saw right through the bs and told him as much. And thus made him a much better lover...

I mean. Look at him strut... 🙄😏

Tom

Has a micropenis.

Alright, that's it! Are you still alive? Thank you for reading!

Trying my best to have chapter 13 ready by next Friday.

Taglist (thank you 💕): @elegantduckturtle @mashomasho @lola766 @flowersandpotplantsandsunshine @nicolethered @littleone65 @bands-tv-movies-is-me @the-rambling-nerd @saintbedelia @pedrostories @trickstersp8 @all-the-way-down-here @deadmantis @hbc8 @princessdjarin @harriedandharassed @girlofchaos

[sage-nebula]

To be clear, I am against the death penalty in real life for multiple reasons, not the least of which being that innocent people end up on death row all the time and therefore end up murdered over crimes they didn't commit.

But in the context of this video game, where it is a fact that this man preyed upon a 14yo girl when he was 20, and then says shit like this? Yeah, no, send his ass back to death row, he's fuckin nasty.

Addendum after the full body revulsion convulsions caused by "my teen angel" have subsided: Terry seems to have been written to have some sort of cognitive disability, which I think the writers were possibly hoping would make him seem more sympathetic / would make Dahlia, a literal 14yo, look like the evil one for "manipulating / seducing" him, as if she was the one who had more power in the situation. To this, I have several counters:

1.) I'm not sure if the Ace Attorney writers felt the need to justify an adult/teen relationship at all given the bullshit with the Max/Regina/Ben love triangle in Turnabout Big Top. Max and Ben were adults while Regina was only 16. Phoenix also has dialogue suggesting he finds Regina attractive despite also being an adult in the very same case. None of this is ever called out as being even inappropriate, let alone disgusting and wrong. So I'm not sure the Ace Attorney writers see anything wrong with adults in their 20s or 30s dating teenagers and thus even feel the need to make an excuse for it. (Hell, Mia's only comment on the "my teen angel" line is "he's seen too many soap operas", not that he's a pedo/ephebophile, so that should tell you all you need to know.)

2.) Despite his cognitive disabilities, Terry still clearly recognized that Dahlia was a teenager while he himself was not, hence "my teen angel." He was not so disabled that he had no idea what the situation was or what was going on. Therefore, we can still hold him accountable for being fucking nasty and calling a 14yo his girlfriend when he was 20.

3.) From a messaging perspective, "the young seductress took advantage of the innocent older man" is a myth that has been used to defend child predators. Hell, it was employed by Kimmy Robertson in her letter defending Brian Peck for his molestation of Drake Bell, in which she blamed Drake (who if I'm not mistaken was around 14 himself when the sexual torture started) of "seducing" Peck to ruin his career. So for the Ace Attorney writers to try to pull a similar tack here and say that actually, 14yo Dahlia was the evil one and the 20yo who decided it would be okay to have a romantic/sexual relationship with her was truly morally innocent, is reprehensible. It's not an argument I can agree with nor care to entertain.

Anyway, this man is gross, and I don't feel sorry for him. End post.

[mouthpiece-simp]

Bellringer x Reader Headcanons

🔔You knew toons were supposed to hate Cogs, but somehow one of them managed to catch your eye. His name was Benjamin and you couldn't keep yourself from getting a little flustered around him. Fighting him and he calls you love? Your face would go RED.

🔔Ben knew you had a crush on him because, let's be honest, you did not do a good job at hiding it. And he may or may not have listened to the whisper conversation you had with your friend outside a building in Daffodil Gardens where you two were talking about the Cogs you secretly had crushes on. {I HC that he hears any and all whispers to and from toons around him.}

🔔He knows he also likes you back, so he decides to be a bit subtle about it at first and send you letters from "an admirer." How did he get your address? He's a door to door salesman, he has a big book of the name and address of every homeowner so he can personally address them when he goes to their door. He just had to look at the section sorted by names alphabetically and there you were...

🔔You didn't know who your admirer was at first until they decided to tell you who they were. And he included a little bell in the envelope.

🔔So the next day you pulled him aside and confronted him about it, and he admitted the letters were from him and asked you out on a date. You said yes, and that's how the two of you started dating.

🔔Literally everybody knows about your relationship with Ben. He told everyone :)

🔔How many pet names do you get called? Yes.

🔔You get called cutie, sweetie, sweetheart, muffin, love, honey, honeybun, angel, future wife/husband/spouse, [insert 50 nicknames related to your name]... and more. Dude even makes up his own pet names to call you.

🔔Ben will constantly flirt with you. He ALWAYS has the smoothest thing to say that will make your face go red.

🔔If you're feeling stressed or anxious, he traps you in a really tight hug and plays a soft tune with his bell until you settle down.

🔔Honestly you hear his bell a LOT.

🔔He loudly rings his bell for a lot of reasons... anger, surprise, drowning someone out in conversation, being really excited... the list goes on. But around you he plays specific rhythms or tunes that you have memorized by heart by now. You know what each of them mean.

🔔Speaking of talking to you, he does that a lot. Like, a lot. You feel like you know everything about all of his coworkers, friends, acquaintances, relatives, and literally anyone he's ever interacted with without even seeing their face.

🔔He also wants the gossip about your toony friends and if you tell him, chances are everyone he's ever talked to will know about it within 24 hours.

🔔Ben's way of kissing you is letting his clapper touch you, usually the top of your head because it's easiest for him to reach. Technically that's him licking you but let's not get into technicalities...

🔔He will want to go through a lot of your stuff to learn about you, but he doesn't want you to think he's just snooping around to be a creep so he'll ask your permission beforehand.

🔔Enjoy your relationship with your gossipping, flirtatious boyfriend!

[typewriteringalaxy]

fanwork creators self rec, or your five favourite fics/art/podcast etc

thank you for the tag @letters-to-rosie 💕 your answer reminded me that The Fire Next Time has been on my tbr for too long and I need to rectify that lol. anyway here we go in chronological order

everything's better with a friend (Ekko/Jinx, E, 7/7)

my magnum opus so far! more than 85,000 words of an AU where Powder doesn't joins Silco but faces many of the struggles Jinx does. This fic just flowed right after watching Arcane, it was a joy both in creation and readers' reception. I'm particularly happy with Powder's pov and the relationship's progression. Healing isn't linear, and love alone isn't enough to heal, though it does help. That ended up being the theme, and I managed it fairly well in the story, as well as a happy, domestic timebomb ending💕

(I did hint at a sequel of sorts, and the idea still spins in my head. Maybe by the end of summer?)

With Less Inhibition (Astoria Greengrass/Blaise Zabini, E, 5/7)

This one can be read on its own despite being an AU of another fic, The Platinum Collar. Honestly I prefer it from TPC: Blaise's pov and the focus on their friendship's development made the story better. Astoria's letters were also very fun to write. With both of them minor characters in canon (and in a not respectable canon to boot), I had a lot of creative freedom in their characterisation, so this ship is very dear to me. Also this fic was written with @hypernovaesx 's love, enthusiasm and moodboards (Blastoria being our gondola💕) and I love it all the more for it. I haven't left it at a cliffhanger, rather the complete opposite. (And someday I will finish it.)

touch as a form of comfort (Tandy Bowen/Tyrone Johnson, E, oneshot)

I wrote this one after watching Cloak & Dagger Season 2, whose ending made me so happy and thus the fic is a happy memory too. It's short and sweet, going along with the finale's wholesome vibe. I hope to share longer fics for this ship too.

howling hearts (Rey/Ben Solo, T, 7/7)

I returned to my roots with this one lol. First time taking part in the RFFA Valentine's Exchange, I'm happy to have completed the fic within the deadline, and the Beauty and the Beast prompt with Rey as the Beast was really inspiring. Thus I wrote a feral, angry Beast Rey, a nerdy smuggler Ben Solo, a pack of Sith Wolves as the Knights of Ren, and had the opportunity to toy a bit with the reasoning behind the Beast's transformations. It was fun.

party girl (multiship, E, oneshot)

An exploration of Jinx that I'm proud of particularly since in all my other fics of her I either wrote her as Powder or somewhat downplayed her canon viciousness and sheer chaos. And she's a damn difficult character to pin down. Parings include: Jinx/Thieram, Caitlyn/Jinx, Ekko/Jinx.

tagging, if you'd like to play:

@hypernovaesx (if you're still on tumblr; you know I loved your stories before I started writing mine and I love you💕)

@blueinsomnia (curious about your favourite Firelight Stories)

@linearao3 (I've admired your writing from Kohelet to Child Ballad, curious about your favourites)

[gg-carboxylase]

Got ahold of Step by Step episode 12. We needed 2 more episodes as usual with these series.

If you've not watched the show, please do. It's worth your time, even if you feel like you're wading thru the first few episodes. It's slow burn. This is not horny hours. This is really office hours.

Spoilers under the cut obvs.

Some meta. Mostly my opinions.

I wrote that paragraph before the Mildly Spicy Bed Makeout. I kind of enjoy that Jeng shooed Pat to the shower For Reasons. At least, I personally infer bottom reasons but that's just me. Still, I would have liked more spice à la Bed Friend, but I'm a thirsty ho.

I'll get this admission off my chest — I'm bummed that we got those really spicy kisses and that's as far as it went. KP and Domundi productions spoiled me, obviously. Did I want to see them fake fuck? Yeah. I'll admit it.

The scene where they were writing out then deleting their text messages was acted to perfection.

Hot take — Ben is the worst ugly crier. We love him anyway.

Jeng is a stalker, he needs to learn to go less hard. He also needed to resign like, 2 years earlier from the company. Good for him though. Dad is hot. Shame he's a homophobe.

I am super over people singing in the shows, no matter how good they are.

I love that Jeng's passion is cooking.

You can tell this is a real Thai show because when they show that green curry, it's real green curry even if it's store bought. It's hard to find good green curry paste over here unless you're in certain places.

Jeng's mom — what was the point of a 30 second meeting. Ben is so good at being nervous and young, he's really a great actor.

The chemistry is off the charts in this episode, good Christ. They obviously had fun shooting the cake scene.

Jeng better have a hell of a savings if he's returning all his shares to his dad and putting his hopes on his restaurant.

The restaurant biz is a bitch. I grew up in the restaurant business and the margins are razor thin, even in famous and successful restaurants. Hopefully, Pat's advertising firm is doing well.

Seriously, again. Needed another couple episodes. Especially with how Jeng's dad tossed his resignation letter.

I know Man said this would be his only BL, but I would really like to see them do another show together. They really got their shit together at the end and it's rare to see a couple that can have this kind of chemistry.

The age difference works really well between them, it's comfortable — which isn't there for a lot of decade+ couples — and there's a lot of plots where this could be used. So let's manifest that.

I have no idea what the fuck Man does for a living, so I'm not sure if he's even free to do another series. Dude has an econ degree, which means nothing (no offense econ folks, you guys are like Swiss army knives). I suspect he's a mini Mile Phakphum, and just sort of exists on the largess of his family and his modeling career.

I very much liked this series. It's definitely in my list of favorites. For me, it started out rocky because I didn't understand what it was trying to do. Looking back, now that I see what the aim is, the path it took is perfect.

Would I have liked more sex? Absolutely, but as I mentioned before — I'm a thirsty ho. These lads get paid more than I make as a clinical lab scientist, spending my day making your doctor look smart. A little bed shenanigans isn't too much to ask.

Alas, I can't complain too much. The kisses we got were A+, top-tier compared to nearly any other series. The physical stuff we did get was also A+. Truly, my complaints are mostly unfounded. We could have ended up with Korean level bullshit.

I'm not going to bother with meta about the story because there's users here that are far better at articulating exactly what I want to say, so troll the tag for them.