#but also the happy memories that have been created. the bonds that have flourished

[prince-of-elsinore]

still thinking about that Mike Farrell quote about BJ walking to Maine, specifically the “And it probably wouldn’t have been as wonderful as he’d have hoped it was, because you know, lives have gone in different directions” and how really that just acknowledges and summarizes the core irony and bitter-sweetness of not only beejhawk as a ship, but BJ and Hawkeye’s canon friendship, and the ethos of the entire show.

It’s a cruel twist of fate that brought these people together. War, senseless destruction, indiscriminate killing: these are the circumstances under which they become intertwined. None of them want to be there, they all want out, they endure unutterable horrors and will forever be altered and scarred. Wouldn’t it be morbid to cherish any part of that experience? To want anything but to leave it behind and wash it all off? And yet--they will miss each other. All the goodbyes are difficult, and BJ and Hawkeye's is the hardest of all. Hawk knows, and BJ must too, deep down where he’s not ready to admit to himself, that it will never be the same between them. The war created the conditions of their friendship. The stress, the blood, the fear, the yearning, the depression, all were part of it--are the very reason they “cling to each other,” in BJ’s own words. They cannot go back to that, and given the choice, they would not.

BJ and Hawk will undoubtedly miss each other, very much, as they both admit. I’m sure there are many times post-war that they wish the other were there, or might even long for the simplicity and camaraderie of the Swamp (with the rose-tinted glasses of memory), but you can’t pick and choose which parts of an experience to keep and which to throw away. The war was a package deal. Any possible reunion between any of the 4077 would, inevitably, make it clear how lives went on and paths diverged. For most of them that wouldn’t even be a disappointment, but for BJ, who clings harder than anyone to the “there and later,” to the fantasy of a perfect future, of course whatever he hoped for when he so confidently told Hawk “I promise” isn’t how it would play out. But that doesn’t mean--and Mike’s quote doesn’t even rule out--that there’s no happy ending, even if your happy ending is BJ and Hawk together. It only means that BJ will have to realize that his relationship with Hawk isn’t something he could preserve in ice and then thaw out and jump back into like nothing at all has changed (just as he’ll no doubt realize with Peg when he gets home). Because everything has changed. The war is over. If BJ and Hawkeye want to preserve their bond, they’d have to find new patterns, new ways of relating to each other, new routines away from death and destruction and hardship. It would take time and effort. Mike also said they’d make a point of seeing each other. To me that sounds like he thinks they’d be willing to put in the work. I like to think that too, even if I’m imagining a bit more drastic an endgame.

tl;dr: Mike Farrell understands that at the core of MASH is the paradox that these people mean more to each other than anyone who didn’t share that experience, but the status quo where those relationships are forged and flourish is a state of war that they all want out of so badly.

[wormholxtreme]

@soullesstrouble | plotted for a Happy!Eternity Sophie!Death Thing

In the beginning of time and space, there was one being of pure cosmic fire that rose from seemingly no where. Her fire burned brighter than anything the universe has seen sense, but it was a lonely existence for The Phoenix. Trap in a vastly void with nothing to do other than contemplate the solipsistic nature of her very life.

Life! A spark, a hope, a dream. The vision The Phoenix had was not necessarily one of unity, but one of cycles. The ebb and flow of time and space could grant life and would take it away, but what of those souls in the meantime. Who would cultivate these energies and who would care for them when that energy met it's end?

So in all her omniscient glory, The Phoenix did not begin her universe with rocks, or space, or planets, or even big bangs. She did not begin it with Adam and Eve either, but rather two entities. Eternity and Death.

Eternity could not remember what was before. He knew from Phoenix there was nothing and the thought alone made him sad for her. The idea of being so alone was heartbreaking. He was never alone, for his twin, his dear sister Lady Death would always complete his existence. The pair's bond was unmatched by anything in the universe as they created and destroyed in a beautiful cycle what would be the infrastructure of the universe.

And then she was created. Not a crafted piece of Eternity's mind. No, by this point in the universe life began to flourish on it's own. He had very little say in what would come next but he was always excited to find out, to guide it along it's way until the roads lead to his sister. But Letona...Letona was something different.

Something in her heart, in her very soul, rose above the rest. How she was able to mesmerize so many on Titan would have been alarming, except, she also mesmerized Eternity himself. He watched her with fascination, watched her kindness grow. Watched her sacrifice herself for her planet, for her children, even for the Titan who would destroy so much in her name.

That Titan who just as much as Letona became Eternity's obsession, Dione became Lady Death's. It would be ironic if it wasn't so poetic.

Eternity knew long before this war that his sister was slipping away from him. He chalked it up to jealousy, for who couldn't be jealous of his power to grant life? But it was so much more than that. She had a thirst, a quest to conqueror. Had The Phoenix still been around, had their Goddess not decided to visit the mortal planes for herself, Eternity was certain she would not have stood for Lady Death's meddling. But it was only him, and he would not abuse the rules their Phoenix laid out for them.

That is until Letona's soul came back, this time drawn to the power of the Goddess and landed on Earth. Only this time she wasn't Letona, she went by Virigina Potts.

So delicate a creature in this state. A human being, and not a mutant with grand powers. If she had her memories she may be able to spark those titan magics but in this state she was vulnerable, only with the exact same heart and devil may care attitude that she always had.

So when Eternity decided to keep her as his charge, knowing Lady Death would demolish her in the blink of an eye, he decided to follow in the Goddess's footsteps and become human. Harold Hogan, at your service.

He said the words to the younger redhead sitting in front of him, the small white coffee cup in her hands as Happy spoke very few words to relay this ancient history.

"I hope you're not to angry with me Sophie." he said simply, gesturing to the baby bump hidden behind the table. "It is meant to be a gift to you, not a curse."

[jae-226]

That's All She Wrote

Hi Blog !!

- Here on my little piece of online space, life tales are told in all their pure, breathtaking beauty. You will examine a range of human experiences on this site, including the highs, lows, and all in between. Come along with me as I navigate this unpredictable path called life, from ordinary moments of joy to unexpected turns of events in life. Prepare yourself for stories that will make you laugh, weep, and perhaps even open your eyes to entirely new perspectives on the world. Greetings and welcome to a chaotic journey through life's events.

In the quiet corners of her mind, she harbors dreams as vast and intricate as the blueprints of an architect's design. Yet, amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life, she remains hidden, her aspirations shrouded in the depths of her heart. Meet the dreamer, a soul with a yearning for two disparate yet harmonious worlds – nursing and architecture. While I may appear jolly and light-hearted on the surface, there's a quiet depth to my spirit, a hidden sanctuary where dreams take flight and aspirations flourish. It is within these concealed chambers that the seeds of my ambitions germinate, nurtured by the fertile soil of imagination and curiosity.

LONG LIVE !!

HOW MY YEAR 2023 WENT

Resilience in the face of hardship was one of my 2023's central themes. I experienced disappointments and failures that stretched my limits and tried my determination. Nevertheless, I found hidden reserves of fortitude and resiliency within myself with every challenge I faced. I successfully sailed through choppy waters by being persistent and determined, and I came out stronger and more resilient than before.

As I sit down to reflect on the journey of life, I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude for each and every one of you. Through the highs and lows, the twists and turns, you have stood by my side unwaveringly, offering your love, support, and understanding without hesitation.

Twelve years may seem like a long time, but with them by my side, every moment has felt like a cherished chapter in a beautiful story. From the carefree days of our youth to the challenges of adulthood, we've weathered every storm together, emerging stronger and more resilient each time. The memories we've created together are etched in the very fabric of my being — late-night conversations filled with laughter, spontaneous adventures that left us breathless, and quiet moments of solace shared in the warmth of your company. Each memory is a testament to the depth of our friendship and the bond that binds us together.

COLLEGE LIFE

When college rolled around, I decided to take my studies more seriously and give my top priorities a higher priority. I committed to improving myself and making my parents proud. Although I knew college would be difficult, I never imagined it would be this difficult. Assignment after assignment, tests announced out of the blue, and even a test on holidays! I rapidly came to the conclusion that college is not for the weak, especially in this course, because the return demonstration made my nerves tremble. You feel as though something is amiss if you sleep through the night, if you do your work early, or any combination of these. College is a struggle for talents where your drive and resolve will be put to the test. I'm grateful to the friends who stayed and decided to continue their college journey with me, even though I also lost some friends and made some new ones. There are these two important people in my life made my college life bearable and fun, we shared moments together and helped each other, and also our tagline " The blind, leading the blind " our delulu moments are always there. Special mention to Andrei, my foo who's been there for me whenever I feel sad and happy. I never thought that we'd be this close, cause I can really tell that I find it hard to make friends with anyone. Our friendship began when we interacted for the first time in the microbiology lab when I asked him a question. We supported one another academically and always watched out for one another, sharing our ideas, joys, and heartaches. I'm hoping that we can succeed soon and that our friendship will continue to expand. He is one of the things that make my time at college enjoyable and tolerable. I am so grateful for my friends now, love them all so much !!

SHE IS A RAY OF SUNSHINE IN MY LIFE

Just a quick note to say that you brighten my days with your smile and make my heart skip a beat with your presence. Your laughter is like music to my ears, and your kindness touches my soul in ways I never imagined possible. Though I may not have the courage to say it in person, know that you occupy a special place in my thoughts and in my heart. Every moment spent in your company is a treasure, and I find myself constantly drawn to your warmth and charm. Thank you for being the source of countless butterflies and for igniting a spark of joy within me. Here's to the possibility of shared smiles and whispered secrets in the days ahead.

And special thanks to these two people in my life, Thank you for being my constants in a world of change, for listening to my dreams and fears, and for celebrating every victory, big or small, as if it were your own. The memories we've shared will forever hold a special place in my heart, and I am grateful for the countless moments of laughter, camaraderie, and genuine connection we've experienced together. Here's to the countless memories we've made and the countless more that await us in the years ahead.

I appreciate you coming along on this blog post and learning trip with me. As this chapter draws to a close, I hope the observations, thoughts, and ideas presented here have made a significant impact on your life and inspired you. Recall that acquiring knowledge is a lifelong endeavor, with infinite opportunities for learning, exploration, and experience. Remember, the world is vast and full of wonders waiting to be uncovered. Whether it's delving into the depths of creativity, exploring the intricacies of the human mind, or simply finding joy in the little things, there's always something new to discover

Until then, stay curious, stay passionate, and never stop exploring.

With Gratitude,

Jisa

[khushi-sharma-blogger]

Happy Wedding Anniversary Wishes in Tamil

A wedding anniversary is a time to celebrate the love and commitment that two people share. It is a day to reflect on the journey that the couple has been through, the ups and downs, the joys and sorrows, and the memories that they have created together. A wedding anniversary is also an opportunity to renew the vows that were made on the wedding day and to reaffirm the love and dedication that the couple has for each other. One of the best ways to celebrate a wedding anniversary is by sending happy wedding anniversary wishes to the couple. In this blog post, we will discuss some of the best happy wedding anniversary wishes that you can send to the couple to make their day even more special.

"Happy anniversary to the most beautiful couple I know. May your love continue to blossom and grow with each passing year." "எனக்குத் தெரிந்த மிக அழகான ஜோடிகளுக்கு இனிய ஆண்டுவிழா. ஒவ்வொரு வருடமும் உங்கள் காதல் மலர்ந்து வளரட்டும்."

If you like reading such blogs then check out happy wedding anniversary wishes in tamil, on Impetus Labs. On this site you will find blogs on topics such as happy anniversary wishes in tamil, wedding anniversary wishes to sister in tamil, happy anniversary wishes tamil, happy wedding day wishes in tamil, wedding anniversary status in tamil, anniversary wishes to wife in tamil, husband wedding anniversary wishes in tamil, marriage wishes tamil words, wedding anniversary wishes in tamil for sister, wedding anniversary wishes in tamil for brother, happy anniversary in tamil, wedding anniversary wishes in tamil words, happy anniversary quotes in tamil, sister wedding anniversary wishes in tamil, brother wedding anniversary wishes in tamil.

"It's been another year of love, laughter, and happiness for you two. Congratulations on your wedding anniversary!" "உங்கள் இருவருக்கும் காதல், சிரிப்பு மற்றும் மகிழ்ச்சியுடன் இது மற்றொரு வருடம். உங்கள் திருமண ஆண்டுவிழாவிற்கு வாழ்த்துக்கள்!"

"May your love continue to shine bright like a diamond, and may your bond become stronger with each passing year. Happy anniversary to a wonderful couple!" "உங்கள் காதல் வைரம் போல பிரகாசமாக பிரகாசிக்கட்டும், ஒவ்வொரு ஆண்டும் உங்கள் பந்தம் வலுப்பெறட்டும். அற்புதமான தம்பதியருக்கு இனிய ஆண்டுவிழா!"

"Sending you both my warmest congratulations and best wishes on your wedding anniversary. You are an inspiration to all of us who believe in the power of love." "உங்கள் திருமண ஆண்டு விழாவில் எனது அன்பான வாழ்த்துக்களையும் நல்வாழ்த்துக்களையும் உங்களுக்கு அனுப்புகிறேன். அன்பின் சக்தியை நம்பும் எங்கள் அனைவருக்கும் நீங்கள் ஒரு உத்வேகம்."

"Happy anniversary to the couple who knows how to keep the flame of love burning bright. Wishing you many more years of love and happiness." "காதல் சுடரை பிரகாசமாக எரிய வைக்கத் தெரிந்த தம்பதியருக்கு இனிய ஆண்டுவிழா. இன்னும் பல்லாண்டுகள் அன்பும் மகிழ்ச்சியும் வாழ வாழ்த்துகள்."

"May your love story continue to inspire us all. Happy anniversary to a couple who truly knows the meaning of forever." "உங்கள் காதல் கதை எங்கள் அனைவருக்கும் ஊக்கமளிக்கட்டும். என்றென்றும் அர்த்தத்தை உண்மையாக அறிந்த ஒரு ஜோடிக்கு இனிய ஆண்டுவிழா."

"Congratulations on another year of wedded bliss. May your love continue to flourish and may you both always find joy in each other's company." "திருமண மகிழ்ச்சியின் மற்றொரு வருடத்திற்கு வாழ்த்துக்கள். உங்கள் காதல் தொடர்ந்து செழிக்கட்டும், நீங்கள் இருவரும் எப்போதும் ஒருவருக்கொருவர் நிறுவனத்தில் மகிழ்ச்சியாக இருக்கட்டும்."

"Happy anniversary to the couple who proves that love knows no boundaries. Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness." "காதலுக்கு எல்லையே இல்லை என்பதை நிரூபிக்கும் தம்பதியருக்கு இனிய ஆண்டுவிழா. வாழ்நாள் முழுவதும் அன்பும் மகிழ்ச்சியும் நிறைந்ததாக இருக்க வாழ்த்துக்கள்."

"As you celebrate another year of love and togetherness, may your hearts be filled with gratitude and your souls with joy. Happy anniversary to a beautiful couple." "அன்பு மற்றும் ஒற்றுமையின் மற்றொரு ஆண்டை நீங்கள் கொண்டாடும் போது, உங்கள் இதயங்கள் நன்றியுடனும், உங்கள் ஆன்மாக்கள் மகிழ்ச்சியுடனும் நிரம்பட்டும். அழகான தம்பதியருக்கு இனிய ஆண்டுவிழா."

"You are two of the most amazing people I know, and I am blessed to call you my friends. Happy anniversary, and may your love continue to be an inspiration to us all." "எனக்குத் தெரிந்த மிக அற்புதமான மனிதர்களில் நீங்கள் இருவர், உங்களை எனது நண்பர்கள் என்று அழைப்பதில் நான் ஆசீர்வதிக்கப்படுகிறேன். இனிய ஆண்டுவிழா, உங்கள் அன்பு எங்கள் அனைவருக்கும் ஒரு உத்வேகமாகத் தொடரட்டும்."

If you like reading such blogs then check out the Impetus Labs. On this site you will find blogs on topics such as wishes in hindi, wishes in bengali, wishes in tamil, wishes in Assamese.

Conclusion

In conclusion, a wedding anniversary is a special occasion that deserves to be celebrated in a meaningful way. By sending happy wedding anniversary wishes to the couple, you can help make their day even more special and remind them of the love and dedication that they have for each other. Whether you choose to send a heartfelt message, a funny joke, or a thoughtful quote, your words will be appreciated and will help make their day a memorable one. So, take the time to choose the perfect message, and send your love and best wishes to the happy couple on their special day.

[ruskinbondstories]

Why Ruskin Bond will always remain our favorite

From our early school days to the age of stepping into our respective career paths - we all grow up undergoing many changes. But only the writings of Ruskin Bond remain our constant companion. The close relationship between Ruskin Bond and us emerged slowly. The first introduction happened through textbooks, mostly after which people regularly saw a curious kid sitting at the corner of a bookstore with amazement in his eyes. And this amazement continued to appear on our faces every time we opened a book by Ruskin Bond. Unknowingly, we formed a strong bond with our favorite, Ruskin Bond. 

It's pretty impossible not to smell the hills, our childhood, winter breezes, the old and rusty cottages in his words. Ruskin Bond's stories feel like a legit time machine that never fails to transport us into a newer world or the world of the past. His stories made us enjoy natural affection, subtleties, and the lucid pleasures of life without delving into the materialistic way of living. So, let's try to get lost in the world of Bond and relive our sweetest memories again to remind ourselves why he will always be our most favourite.

Nature as its best

"Never mind. Men come and go. The mountains remain." - "Our trees still grow in Dehra."

Due to his intimate understanding of nature, Ruskin Bond successfully presents how nature could actively become a significant part of a person's well-being. We can't help feeling the solitude and the peaceful purity of being amidst the forlorn mountains, the Magpies, the beautiful forest birds, and the freshness of trees while reading his stories. Nature in his reports does not only provide background, but it becomes a character itself. He allows the free-flowing river, the little birds, the wildflowers, the sky, and every aspect of nature to convey their own messages to the readers.

That's why we perceive nature as a catalyst for healing our minds and making us transcend in the spiritual world. So, in most of his stories, he tries to convey the message of preserving nature. For example, in "The Coral Tree," Ruskin Bond has painted an essential aspect of teaching children the importance of planting and nurturing trees, thus, making a lasting partnership with man and nature.

Many great critics of our generation have declared the significant presence of the pantheistic nature approach in Bond's writings. He profoundly portrays both the nurturing and the destructive sides of Nature in his stories like "The Blue Umbrella," "Time Stops at Shamli," "The Angry River," "Rain in the Mountains," "Roads to Mussoorie," "The Room on the Roof" and many others. It's evidently clear that nature is the Muse of Ruskin Bond, and he will continue to strengthen the friendship between us and nature.

Bond's Art of Characterization

One of the most captivating qualities of Bond's stories that make them so relatable is his art of characterization. He amazingly creates a fellowship between the reader and the characters by presenting various characters and showing every character's development through the thick and thin of life. The most amazing part is that his feelings are rooted in reality and possess a breadth of genuineness without pretensions.

Ruskin Bond is the master of creating various characters who fall into every social and economic background of the vast spectrum of our society. He beautifully paints the difference between the characters belonging to both the backward and underprivileged class and the flourishing upper-class. But most surprisingly, each character's life becomes significantly inspiring to the readers because of their physical and mental struggles, their realization and acceptance, and their close connection with their conscience. Our eyes suddenly get wet whenever we go through the brief encounter of the two potential lovers in "The Eyes are not Here." Similarly, we feel the same adrenaline rush while witnessing Binya's adventurous journey down the stream to save her most precious possession in "The Blue Umbrella."

Ruskin Bond's excellent insight into human psychology makes the readers understand exactly what the character is going through. That's what makes it way easier to discover the characters' reasons, hesitations, dilemmas, joy, anxiety, happiness, and all sorts of emotions. We somehow get attached to the characters without consciously knowing it and start to fascinate them most realistically.

Accurate Representation of the Indian Society

Bond's literary works serve a great purpose of expressing the social, economic, and political issues concerning the public and the country at large. He conveys the different opinions of the differently brought up characters in society in the most effective way. The state of India when it was under British rule, the bloodshed during partition, the ruins made by corruption, the conservative approach of the society, the superstitions, and the prevailing problems of dowry and child marriage - all have become an integral part of his writings. That's why his stories are considered proofs that aptly documented the then Indian society comprehensively.

Ruskin Bond's excellence also prevails in enriching the native language, bringing forth ethos and culture, and portraying the existing complexity of the socio-political scenario. At the grass-root level, his stories present a great insight into the ongoing social stigma without being a complete rant about problems only. His characters depict juxtaposition by making readers experience the constant tension that goes on within themselves between their rural and old values and the new urban moral code that they are exposed to.

Although Ruskin Bond Books is majorly known as one of the best writers of children's books, his adult and adolescent novels deal with the aspects we all go through in adulthood. For example, his "The Room on the Roof" brings up issues faced by the protagonist Rusty that had never been the table talk back in the 1950s. The life of Rusty resonates with us because we all have witnessed the problems like identity formation, wanting financial independence, emerging sexuality at some point in our lives. On the other hand, "The Room on the Roof" and its sequel, "The Young Vagrants," also successfully bring out the pain and loneliness of the orphan protagonist while depicting the prevailing social concerns such as racial and cultural differences, narrow-mindedness, and the social pretensions.

A Master of Stealing Children's Hearts

Risking Bond's fantastic insight into child psychology has contributed to making him our most favorite writer. The most incredible element found in his children's books is that he shows immense respect to a child's emotions, a thing which is not openly discussed or even given much value to. He captures the innocence of children in the best possible way while providing the utmost importance to the adventures, the hidden complexity, tragedies, and determination of the little minds. The self-seeking attitude of children is beautifully painted in the subtle yet strong words of Bond. "The Blue Umbrella" and "The Angry River" are perhaps the most outstanding examples for showing the strength and abilities children inherit along with the intricacies of life- all presented with a mesmerizing touch of simplicity. Through these stories, Ruskin Bond successfully raises a very pertinent question on the conviction of getting attached to trivial materialistic things of life, which exposes the futility of the entire concept.

Ruskin Bond is a master of depicting the innocence and simple pleasures of children, which contrasts with the cunning, shrewd, and envious nature of the adults in his children's books. It inspires the readers worldwide to adhere to the old pleasure-seeking and joyful spirit we have left in the past. The children's stories highlight the lessons of sympathy, kindness, and brotherhood among the readers of every age. 

That's why Bond's significant contribution lies in the fact that Bond's children's stories do not only evoke happiness in kids, but adults also perceive the same amount of gleeful experience while reading them.

Conclusion -

Ruskin Bond's simple style of writing delves deep into our conscience. It is a potent weapon of his that beautifully depicts both the complexities and the ease of life. Bond never wants to "make readers toil and sweat" because he never believed in the concept of putting complex and unconventional words to sound more serious. In "It's a Wonderful Life," he shared why he always chooses to write simply. He also shared his views on social media regarding his writing style by saying, "I have always tried to achieve proses that are simple and conversational. Those who think this is easy should try it for themselves." It is always astonishing to see how the subject matters of Bond's writings are given such high importance without presenting them in a twisted form by using complex words. That's why his stories can be read repeatedly regardless of the reader's age, as the Ruskin Bond Stories have something interesting to offer you each time you turn the pages. 

[fundielicious-simblr]

(AN: Going to try this update in 1st person again, I like how we get to see more of her personality when its 1st person, this one is going to be a ‘day in the life’ sort of thing. I’m introducing a new ‘series’ type thing after this which I’m excited for as its purely experimental and is me trying to push my storytelling abilities. I’ve also not forgotten the poses and the frumper dress! they’ll definitely be ready by this weekend [which for me is a Thursday])

Adalynn’s POV

I’m officially in the 2nd trimester with the twins! It still feels so surreal saying that I’M the one having twins - I watched my mother have twins, watched Kyleigh have triplets AND twins, and I used to pray to the Lord to get rid of my envious spirit, but now I’m praising him for his blessings! It’s all the more a happier thought now that we’re in our new house! We’ve been settling in well, the timing couldn’t have been better! We leave for Family Bible Camp in a bit, so we’ve started making packing lists, checking the RV, and making travel plans. School is out for the boys, so they can all sleep in a bit whilst I get the house in order.

Since the boys don't have school, I had more time to make breakfast in the morning before the chaos of the day starts. Back when I was home, my sister Macie was better at cooking so I did the early morning nappy changes while she made breakfast; I still learnt how to cook, but I'm not as good a cook as she is. 

Boy am I happy that I made breakfast when I did, a summer storm caused a power outage, so the boys ate their breakfast in the dark. They took it in stride though, they created an adventure story for themselves and got through breakfast before I encouraged them to head outside to play whilst I got the younger 2 bathed and fed. 

It’s a good thing that it’s so hot outside, the water tank gets heated up by the sun so the bath water wasn’t freezing cold. Now that my belly has grown it takes more effort to bend to get to bathtub height and practically wrestle to get them clean when in the tub, but I would rather my back ache than have smelly toddlers wreaking havoc everywhere. My mother used to say “with toddlers, especially spirited ones, sometimes - and only sometimes - you have to pick your battles” When they’re out of the tub is when we’ll work on their obedience, but sometimes I’ll say anything to get them in the tub 😂

(AN: ignore the lack of monkey bars, I forgot to put it in as these were taken on different days😂)

I’ve been slowly replanting my fruits and veggies into the soil out back, it’s great having loads more space for them to grow and flourish. Being out in the garden is a great way to de-stress whenever the boys are determined to run me ragged and have me grow multiple grey hairs. Once they bloom I’m sure that our grocery bill should reduce, with the way these boys eat it’s a great idea to have fresh fruits and veggies there for them to snack on - it also makes trips to the dentist that much easier. 

The 3 older boys eventually got their monkey bars, and are climbing on them at every possible chance they get. It’s great hearing them play and ‘monkey around’ with each other, building the bonds that will take them into adolescence and adulthood. Seeing them so happy together brings me back to my childhood, when my parents first married they moved into a small 2 bedroom house, and when Barret, Macie, Zoe, and me were young we’d have to get creative with the space we had. As more kids came they’d knock down a wall or two to make more space for us, before we eventually moved into my grandparents house when my dads siblings married and moved out. While it was great to have more space for everyone, some of my fondest memories are in that small house when we’d all camp out on the floor and tell the funniest stories to one another. 

In the late afternoon before dinner, the boys and I gathered around the piano by candle light to sing some hymns together. I love playing the piano, and being able to spend time with my boys whilst we sang together lifted my spirits so much! They’re older now and can learn the words to entire songs rather than just working on a single verse, this is also great practice for when they’re at camp, this is the first time they’ll be on their own in the Children’s Academy doing their song and verse memorisation without any parents around, so I want them to at least have the basics down. We’re also meant to be singing as a family (my parents and siblings included) whilst we’re there, so we spent time going through the songs that we’ll sing.

Power came back in just in time for dinner, so by the time Mason got back home it was as if the power outage didn’t even happen. At dinner the boys were tripping over each other to tell their daddy about the fun day they had, they told him all about their adventures without power and the fun times they had outside on the monkey bars - they even sang him some of the songs that we’d practiced in the afternoon! It’s great seeing my children have a good relationship with their father, and I love that no matter how tired Mason is, he’s always willing to sit and listen to what the kids have to say. Washing up is still done by hand, but after doing the dishes for 15 people, 7 is nothing to me.

It’s great being able to put the boys to bed in the same room, we say a goodnight prayer after doing nighttime devotions before we say night night. Joshua still has trouble sleeping through the night, so he still makes trips to our room during the night which we’re working on getting down to a minimal amount, when the twins come there’ll be more disruption during the night and I’d rather we deal with one obstacle before we add more layers of chaos 😂

[little-dragon-stories]

King chapter 15&16

Your life changed completely when from a slave, you became a spy for the king. Will you be able to help him in his fight against slavery before it’s too late and the threat hanging over him comes true?In this society where love comes after fortune, will your mutual affection be able to flourish?  

Royal au fic pairing female reader and Kwon JiYong

Feat: YoungBae, TaeHyung, MinHo and SeoJoon (just because  I had their face in mind when I pictured their character)

W.C: 4910

Warnings: mention of sexual agression. Angst. A little fight 

Disclaimer: Everything in this story is fictional. There is no research to be politically  accurate or to fit a certain period of time or place. In one word, it’s all invented.

Note: Oh guys... this serie is coming to an end. You have no idea how many hours i’ve been working on this serie. I write, erase, rewrite. Change a sentence, change a word. Come back to the previous sentence. 

I tried hard to create a story with deep and strong characters. Something historical at the image of those K-Dramas that I love to watch so much. I hope you loved it. 

I’m really sad to say goodbye to my characters, I love them very much. 

So, after this upload, one last upload (or 2, depending if I include the epilogue on it or not). 

Take care yall. 

Also, Thank you princess, once again. Love you.

Chapter 15

It took exactly 1 hour for JiYong to come and talk to you but it seemed an eternity for him.  

“We thought it wasn’t a good idea to bring her in your quarters, Majesty. Your son and wife are there and they could have asked questions. We figured that the important thing was for her not to escape and...”

“Can you just tell me where she is?” he ordered, impatient to get to you.

“We took her to the stable, Cheon Ha”

“Where she could steal a horse and run away. That was very clever” Exasperated, he pinched the bridge of his nose before he left. He ran faster than he could. He knew your intention was good but there is no way he could ever let you go back on the plantation. Ever since he received that missive from Jang MinHo, he tried so hard to find a solution that would preserve everyone’s happiness. He will succeed. He has no choice but to succeed.

“Where is she?” he asked the first guard he noticed when he entered the stable.

“She’s locked in the last box, she can’t escape, don’t worry Cheon Ha, she is not trying to do anything” he answered, bowing. 

He was torn between the fear that you managed to outsmart the guards and the confidence that he had in your judgment.  Knowing how thoughtful you were, you would have normally waited to have an explanation with him before taking a decision, he believes that. But you weren’t in your normal state right now right now and you could act on a whim. But most of all, he was scared that to be held in a stable would remind you of the traumatic conditions you suffered at the plantation and that you could feel traumatised again. It killed him inside, the only time he saw you all fragile and in a mental breakdown.

In fact, your mind was totally blank. Seeing MinHo had awakened all sorts of souvenirs, encrusted in your body. Alone in the box, you were suddenly hurt everywhere in your body this man had ever hurt you in the past. A ghost-like pain, some pain that you never thought you would feel ever again. Your skin was itching, your guts twisting and you wanted to throw up with the sudden pressure on your throat. Everywhere that man had forced himself inside of you, burned like fire.

Dozed out and on the merge to faint, you didn’t hear JiYong coming in. When the door of the box opened, you looked in its direction and saw him without realising who he was, where you were. You were trying to deal with the physical pain you knew was not real. Sitting on the ground with your knees up under your chin. Your arms were wrapped around yourself and you kept rocking back and forth in order to appease yourself.

“Y/n, love, please talk to me… Can I come closer? I don’t want to scare you.” when he looked at you, it seemed like your mind had left your body. You seemed lifeless, blank. Far from the strong and fierce woman that had left his executive room only an hour ago.

“JiYong?” you called his name, like if you were saying a prayer. This name, his voice only resonates with warm and tender feelings. 

“Yes love, I’ll come by your side”.

You felt a warm coat lying on your shoulders. It was YoungBae who was trying, as best he could, to help you. 

JiYong sat close to you. He knew where your emotions came from. How could it be different, you were just placed in front of a man who assaulted, raped you for so long. Plus, you had just learned about the deal MinHo tried to make. Of course, you would quail.  He trusted you, the bond that linked you. Together, you’ll fight those demons. For now, there was something he needed to do so that your mind and body would calm down. Only then, you will be able to listen to him about the deal. So he did.

“Shhhh” he grabbed your both wrists and drew you to him. When your body collapsed against his, his arms encircled you, holding you as tight as he could. Your body was tense up against his and you started to hit his back, not sure what was going on. Mostly scared and panicking.

“Love, it’s ok. Everything’s gonna be alright.” You tried to push him, you didn’t want him to see you like that.  But he knew you were out of your mind and that in fact, you were just scared. He knew he was able to calm you down. He held you even tighter, his delicate but yet strong hand maintaining your head against his chest by the nape of your neck. A soft touch that had worked, calming you down already. It has to work again.

“You are safe my love. No one's gonna hurt you. I’m here with you, you’re not alone in this”.

“But it hurts! It hurts so much”, you said, trembling.

He looked at you, scrituzing you to make sure you were not really hurt anywhere. He couldn’t find anything visible.

“Where does it hurt? Where?” he asked, anxious.

“I can’t say it out loud… it’s intimate” you answered, noticing YoungBae’s presence. “My throat hurts. I feel like I have something stuck in my throat and I want to throw up” you said, thinking it was acceptable to say it out loud. But the men understood what it was about. YoungBae stepped out to leave JiYong and you, the intimacy you needed at this very moment. 

“I see…” He paused for a moment. The fear he had of seeing your memories revived and haunting you again was now real, before him. He would never have wanted you to face Minho again. He would have given everything to avoid this ordeal. But the damage was done.

“Love, it’s not a real pain. You remember what that jerk had done to you. That’s all. You are safe. I’ll never let anything like that happen to you, ever again.”

His soft voice tone, his arms, more than his words, calmed you down, briefly. You grabbed his robe and held yourself on it, to keep your balance. You were no longer trying to fight him, he had won a little battle. He went on, trying to appease you as best he could. Feeling your body a little less tense, he knew that he was on the right track. But, realising what was happening, you lost it.

“Ji… Ji… Why? Why did this happen to me? Why did he choose me? Why? You are the king and still you always ask my permission before you kiss me. You always make sure I’m feeling good when you would be the only person in the kingdom who had the right to take me and throw me away after use. But still, you ask for my permission each time we make love. What makes him think that I was available? I asked him to stop. I said no! I did! But he didn’t care. The more I said no, the more I got hurt. Why?”

Your sobs and screams could be heard by the royal guards present in the stable, the men you have travelled with. YoungBae leaned against the door and let a few tears roll down his cheeks. He looked at the guards around him, all of them had their chin down, overwhelmed. 

JiYong instinctively knew that you were not waiting for a real answer. That you only needed to cry and let this anger out. So he let you do. He let you ask why again and again and again. He let you say how much you had tried to fight. He let you scream and yell and cry until you calm down and that your sobs stopped. He held you the whole time, telling you that you were safe. Helplessly reminding you that you will no longer have to suffer that kind of treatment. That no one will, not under his reign.  He held you close to his heart the whole time, shredding tears along with you until you had no more tears.

A moment passed, you were in his arms. Calm but mostly out of energy, you stayed in his protective embrace for a while, holding onto his royal robe. Until you remembered. You remembered everything that happened in the executive room in a split second. You stood up and started to walk in circles, under his surprised gaze. You changed your mood in a split second. From angry against MinHo, you became angry against him. 

You rushed towards him, your little fists up in the air, ready to attack. When YoungBae saw you, moved by a protective reflex, he wanted to walk towards you but JiYong blocked him with his arm, shaking his head ‘no’. 

“Leave us alone, please. We need to talk. She will never hurt me, don’t worry”

“Are you sure, Cheon Ha?” he was hesitant to let the king with you. You were already on JiYong, hitting his chest like with all the strength you had left. He didn’t flinch under your assaults. Unaware of the exchange the men were having, too angry to notice, you charged.

“You lied to me, you said you trusted me and you said you loved me.  But yet, you lied. And you didn’t let me save my friends”

YoungBae moved back, leaving the two of you alone.

“You lied to me… Let me go to the plantation, I need to save my friends. Let me go, I beg you” 

JiYong was not impressed by your excess of anger but he deeply cared about your feelings. 

“I’ll never let you go back there, it was never an option, love. Never. This part of your life is over. You still carry the effects of this within you, but it is over for good. Also, baby MiNa and HyunSa will be here shortly, love”.

“What?”

“There is no need for you to go back there, we are changing the law together, remember? They will soon be free, in a way or another”.

“I didn’t remember… I forgot”

“Yeah, I could have tell, when I saw your reaction in the executive room. I tried to give you a hint but you were too shocked”.

The pain that was still an open wound, it came out like an uproar from your throat in the form of a silent scream this time. You had completely forgotten about that law. You would have fell on your knees if JiYong wouldn't have held you in place, firmly against him. But you were losing strength and so did he. He lifted you in his arms and brought you in hay where he sat you across his legs. You wrapped your arms around his neck, you had given up already, having no energy left to fight. Also, you felt that you could trust him. That there was certainly an explanation. You needed to trust him. The man that you love.

“JiYong, you’re sure they will be coming back?” you stuttered.

“I’m working really hard on it. I know they are alive, I know they are healthy. You’ll have to trust your man more” he tried to lighten the atmosphere, cracking a modest smile.

“... and… I will get to stay with you? I won’t be separate from you?”

“I will never let that happen. Never. You are mine, and I am yours. Forever. At least, until you don’t want me anymore”.

Your muffled sobs wracked against his neck. The idea of being separate from him, it was unbearable. 

“It’s ok, love. Let it out. You’re safe with me. Let it out…”

He let you cry, again for a moment.  You were unable to stop the tears from falling down your eyes, drenching your clothes. When loud sobs teared from your throat, his lips trembled and his shoulders heaved with emotion. To hear you cry like that was the saddest thing he ever heard. And today, it seemed like you were crying the tears you’ve been holding back all your life.

“It’s ok, love… cry as long as you need. I’m not going anywhere.” 

“I am… I was torned Ji. I don’t want to let go but I want my friends to be free…”

“I know… 

“In the executive room, I thought… I’d… lose you forever. But I wanted… to save… them” you said, between the sobs.

“I know, I know… But you are stuck with me” he rubbed your back tenderly.

 You wept, pressed against his chest, clinging to him as if you were going to lose him. Time seemed to stop, on your two entwined bodies. He, too, needed to hang on to you. It's like he had his blood run cold when he saw you walking towards MinHo. Even though he knew he had all the powers to keep you from going, he was afraid of losing you nevertheless.

“Thank you” you said, between two sobs. “I love you, JiYong. I love you so much”. 

“I love you too” he answered, overwhelmed.

There were still unanswered questions but for now, you knew what you needed to know. Your friends will be safe and you’ll stay with your man.

When YoungBae called for the king, later, he obtained no answer. He listened carefully, trying to hear the slightest sound. Not getting a hint of what was happening, he walked over to the box. He found both of you asleep on the hay. You, seated on your king, embraced and in each other's arms, clinging onto each other. 

“Finally” he sighted, relieved.

Chapter 16

It’s the heat that woke you up, somehow in the evening. Smells of horse dung, hay and mud rose to your nose. You were on JiYong’s legs, clinging to him, ankylosed. He was sitting on the ground, on a pile of hay. He didn’t seem comfortable at all, with his back leaned against the wooden wall. Wanting to stifle these foul smells, you hid your nose in his neck and breathed fully. His smell comforted you briefly. A quick look around taught you his guards had lit lamps in case you woke up. It was probably the night shift watching over you, now. 

Your head was hurting from the crying.  As you thought about what had happened, you suddenly remembered a slight detail, which you did not touch yesterday. A little mad, you flicked JiYong’s forehead to wake him up.

“Wake up, sleepyhead” you told him as you shook his shoulders. 

He barely opened an eyelid and did not move a single muscle.

“Is everything alright? You’re okay?”

You got off his thighs and sat in front of him. His eyes were open, but his mind was still clouded with sleep.

“Kwon JiYong, I need an explanation”.

“... in the middle of the night? Yah!” he laid down on his back, trying to go back to sleep. 

“Yes, in the middle of the night. You’ll get back to sleep after. For now, I need to know why you lied to me. Why have you lied about the deal MinHo tried to set with you”.

‘Love, where is that energy coming from? It can wait, come back to sleep, we’ll talk tomorrow morning”.

When he closed his eyes you came closer to him and poke his side.

“No, I need to understand now. Wake up!”

“You are so stubborn sometimes,” he mumbled, annoyed. He sat down, defeated. You lifted your chin up before you told him:

“I can tell that the lack of sleep doesn’t suit you well. A little short temper, are we?” 

He sighted and patted the hay beside him. When you took place, he grabbed his knees and put his chin on them, looking into your eyes. You let him collect his thoughts for a moment. 

“I’m gonna say this first. I’m not happy with you, disobeying my orders openly, in front of the royal guards and other staff members.  Of course, I understand where it comes from and will let it pass.  But, you made me in a bad position earlier and I didn’t appreciate it. I would like it better, if you don’t do that, ever again”.  He had a calm but directive tone.

“Have I defy your orders?”

“Yes. In the middle of the executive room, on front of all my guards, I told you to go back in the study room. I gave you the order but you didn’t obey. When we are there, you have to obey me, love. Because otherwise, I might lose my authority”.

“Oh, that! Yes, I remember now. For that, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to defy your orders, it was not the plan. I was just...”

“I know, I know”

He paused and took his time, choosing his words carefully. 

“About the deal… Technically, I never lied to you”

“Don’t you dare play that card with me. I was there, when you explained to your son what a lie by omission is, therefore you know what it is. You know you did it. You never told me that MinHo had tried to make a deal with you. I was the main object of the deal, I should have known. Therefore, you lied to me”

“Love, you never asked anything about your friends. I was never placed in a position I had to lie in, I just avoided the question”.

“I had in my power to make my friend’s family reunited and you didn’t let me. How dare you?  It was not your decision to make. It was mine. I am not a slave anymore but you decided for me nevertheless. I should have been the one who decided for my own life”.

You were mad but mostly, disappointed. In your mind, the man that told you he loved you didn’t trust you enough to talk about something important, something that implied you.  You were deceived that he didn’t trust you enough.                                                                

“Y/n, listen to me please.  I received the missive only 5 days after your arrival. We weren’t close back then and...”

“You should have told me the...”

“Stop talking and start listening, would you?” He implored, irritated because you were not listening well.  “My first impression, when I received the missive, I thought you were in a romantic relationship together. Obviously, a violent one. You were the only slave out of the three that came to the palace in a bad condition physically”.  

You didn’t talk, patiently waiting for him to go on. 

“I went to meet you in the garden the same day I received the letter. The chief  gardener told me you had fainted, exhausted and that you were sent back to your room. Your previous work conditions had left traces in your body and you had reached your limits. I didn’t want to bother you. I made sure you wouldn’t work too much, I ordered the gardener to give you the lightest tasks so you could rest.  I knew that you wouldn’t accept to stay in bed. Then I went to meet SeoJoon and TaeHyung”

It was true, when you arrived at the palace, your body had reached a breaking point. You were dehydrated, sick, you had bruises all over and you were mentally about to crack. Mostly, the lack of sleep was killing you. Having to work like every other slave during the day and to “assist’ MinHo at night had been exhausting. You were having no time to rest, basically.  Luckily, a guardian angel has entered your life, in the form of an authoritarian and short temper king. 

“You were protecting me, even before we were friends” you exclaimed, touched.

“Of course, I was. I felt responsible about what was happening at the Jang plantation. I needed to take care of you”

“It was not your fault. Tell me now, what have you told Tae and Seo?” you came back to the topic.

“I didn’t tell them about the letter, I didn’t think it was their decision to make. No man should be put in a position to choose between the woman he considers his little sister and his beloved wife and daughter. I didn’t want them to have this decision on their conscience. I only asked them a question”. He stopped, lost in his thoughts.

“What question?”

“I asked them if they thought there was something or someone waiting for you at the plantation. If you had a good reason to go back or had manifested the desire to go back.”

He took a deep breath in and smiled. 

“You know what? SeoJoon was able to guess what it was really about. He’s really intelligent. He has all my respect”

“I’m not surprised, he’s very observant”

“He said he knew I was asking because MinHo had probably tried to have you back on the plantation. He knelt before me and begged me never to let you go back there, that it would be like signing your death warrant. That I should never give in to any manipulation MinHo would use.  I had my answer. I knew I couldn’t save one without sacrificing the other. But this is not what I wanted to do. I wanted to save you all”.

“Still, I’m the one you should have asked”.

“Did you listen to me? You’re really stubborn, are you?  You’re the first one I wanted to talk to. But you were in such a bad situation physically and mentally that I didn’t want you to worry about that. Do you remember the first time we met? It was the day I brought you here. It was a warm summer night but you were cold as if we were in the middle of winter. You were about to crumble, your fatigue was so obvious. You had only skin on your bones and bruises everywhere. You were shaking from fear as soon as someone was talking. You were so fragile but strong at the same time. I told you to sit in front of me on the horse because this way, I would be able to prevent you from falling down on the ground if you’d faint”

“And you had put a blanket on my shoulders, I remember falling asleep on the horse. I was relieved. I felt safe with you” you told him, smiling tenderly.

“Later, when we start to work on translating the documents together, I was completely in love with you and I wanted to protect you from the situation even more”

“I understand that you wanted to protect me. I get that. But, why do I feel like you didn’t trust me enough?

“Love… please… You know I trust you. I would put my life in your hands and be able to sleep peacefully. It’s not a lack of trust. I actually put the kingdom security in your hands with those documents you had to translate. I always trusted you.  I only tried my best to keep you away from the pain and keep everyone safe. Don’t you think that you have suffered enough?”

It was true. JiYong let you translate documents that, if they had been placed in the wrong hands, could have started a war with Japan. He left you alone in his office, surrounded by law and administrative documents, taxes, court judgments. Everything was kept in his study room. Most of all, he let you take care of the prince, the apple of his eyes. It was true that he had placed his trust in you, without even really knowing you. It was immature of you to think otherwise,

You got up and came to stand in front of the small screened window. The moon was completely hidden behind the heavy clouds, making the night very dark. JiYong stood up and came behind you. His hands clasped on your waist and timidly stayed there. But you needed his protective arms around you. Your hands rested on his and you crossed them on your stomach. You leaned your back against him, serene. You felt the warmth of his breath when he sighed in your neck as his thumbs traced soothing circles on your stomach.

“I’m sorry JiYong. You proved me more than once that you trust me.”

“It’s okay, I understand. But, I want you to reflect on something else. If the roles were reversed, would you have tried to protect me too?” 

“I would have, for sure. I would do everthing to protect you from being hurt… You have a good point”

 You paused.

“But also… I don’t want to appear like I’m stubborn or not comprehensive… I’m grateful that you love and care for me. I feel protected and loved and desired and I cannot ask for more. But at the same time, I was a slave ever since I was a kid, JiYong… I never had the chance to think and take decisions for my own self. I never could choose my own meal or clothes. Everything was imposed on me. The freedom to choose my own destiny, you’re the one who mirrored it for me. I wish I would be involved in such decisions, next time. Okay? I’m sorry I sound stubborn.”

“Love… don’t be sorry. I understand where it comes from. From now on, I promise I’ll do my best to involve you if I have to take a decision that involves you”.

You laughed and nudged his side.

“I don’t love your choice of words, Mister Kwon. You’ll do your best, right ? What a vague promise. Such a political answer!”

He laughed too, happy and relieved to have the real you, back with him. 

“... of all the women in the kingdom, I had to fall in love with the most intelligent one, damn it!…” he teased.

“I forgive you. Because I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I know you tried to save me from going there. Some other king could have just accepted the deal without questioning it. You saved my life twice, now”.

“I did,” he beamed, proudly kissing you in the neck.

“It’s almost like if you were my guardian angel” 

“You’re the angel, my love. Not me.” he yawned loudly and you felt him lose balance on your back. 

“We should go back to sleep in your room, my angel king” you said, lovingly.

“Aaaaw, I love that you call me that, it makes me flustered”  his cheeks become red from shyness. Like if he was hit by the thunder, he suddenly turned you around by the shoulders. He had round and big eyes and seemed excited.

“I just had the best idea ever. Such a good idea that you won’t say no. You cannot say no. I don’t want you to say no.  But I’m gonna ask, since it’s also your decision to make and… But don’t say no please” he seemed nervous. 

“What is it??? you looked at him suspicious.

“Love. What about you come and live with me, not just temporarily. Come and live in my apartments, with me” he said, lifting a cocky brow.

“What?’”

“I would like my quarters to become ours. I would like it to be our little nest. It hit me when you said ‘your room”.

Speechless, you just stared at him.

“But… I… the…”

“Imagine it love. You, returning to your room. Alone in your small and cold bed.  Me, all alone in my quarters, looking at the walls and longing for you.  Everything in my room would make me remember you. Your odor on my bed but you nowhere to be found. Why be miserable when we can be together?”

“Just wash your bedding, my king” you teased. 

“Oh! The sassiness!” he said, smiling widely.

“What would people say, if I’d live with you? What would your wife say? Chan? Your staff?”

“I don’t really care about their opinion to be honest. I only care about ours, on that matter. Do you want to wake up with me every single morning? To fall asleep in my arms every single night? To share your meals with me? To bath with me every day? I want this garden that you love so much, to become yours. Our. I want to come back to our home at night, after a tiring day. But… well, what you want is important too. Would you like to be living in my quarters?”

“Ji, I don’t want to live in your quarters. But I want to live with you. If it’s in a small little house in the village, it would be fine for me. Even a box in a stable would be fine to be honest. I’m not asking for a lot. But living with you, yes. To share my life and dreams with you, yes. Wherever you live, I’ll be gladly living too”

“Why are you so perfect?” he said between kisses. “Let’s move in,” he declared, touched and relieved.

“You love me that much?” you were overwhelmed. You knew he loved you. You knew it was not an impulsive feeling, that your relation had built slowly the more you got to know each other. But he was the king of Korea and you, a former slave. You were still amazed that this powerful man chose you.

“I love you even more than that. Let’s go finish that night in OUR room” 

[illfoandillfie]

Hewwoooo

I was just wondering if you’re doing tarot readings could I get a romance/love one? My initials are TL and his are BW 🥺🥺👉🏼👈🏼

here you go darl!

tarot: eight of cups, seven of wands, the tower, knight of pentacles, 6 of swords, king of wands/the magician, 6 of cups/the lovers, 7 of pentacles. 

Okay well to start we have two cards that both deal with transition. The 8 of cups is about letting go of or walking away from something be it a situation, mindset, or person. The 6 of swords is similar though it’s more strongly tied to journeys. It often signifies that something is coming to an end. These cards together, and their emphasis on moving on/walking away, indicates that you (or perhaps BW) are entering a phase of transition. This could be symbolic of a past relationship that you (or he) have been affected by, maybe someone it took a while to get over. It could also just represent the transition from being single to being in a relationship, especially if you’ve been single for a while. It may be saying that you now believe yourself ready for a relationship and are willingly opening yourself up to the possibility. You’re choosing to move forward and find a relationship that will make you happy rather than dwelling on past hurts or self-doubt. 

The next cards are interesting. Firstly, the 7 of wands is about perseverance and defending your position. It may be that there are people who would oppose a relationship between you and BW or who would advise you not to be with him. But this card suggests you would stand your ground. Similarly, the King of wands is also related to overcoming challenges. In the Jane Austen deck, some cards double as major and minor arcana and I take both meanings into account as I read them. The King of wands is bold and optimistic, energetic and passionate. He’s a leader and devoted to those he loves. And the Magician is related to willpower, desire and manifestation. You want this relationship, you believe there could be a future in it. And you’re ready to fight for it, ready to make it happen, no matter what other people might think. 

Next up we have the Tower. This card signifies a dramatic or sudden change, often causing chaos as you deal with it. A lot of the time this is considered disastrous or traumatic but not always. Even the most chaotic and confusing of changes can be good and part of the cycle of destruction is rebuilding. In regards to a relationships this card can indicate a break up but it can also signify a breaking down of your perspective on or understanding of the entire notion of love. This may indicate a period of self reflection as you consider what you believe about love and how those beliefs impact you. Use it to develop an individual understanding of what your needs are when it comes to relationships, and what expectations you are putting on yourself and others. It could also relate to the “walking away” indicated by the first two cards. This may be about changing unhealthy ideas you were left with after a previous relationship or about moving into a new phase of your life. Ultimately, the outcome of whatever this change is will be a positive one.

The Lovers is the card you want to show up in a love reading. In the Jane Austen deck it doubles as the 6 of cups which is a card of happy memories and healing. The 6 of cups can also relate to nostalgia and past relationships so if BW is an ex who has come back into your life, that may be relevant. Otherwise this bodes well as you taking steps to heal from whatever it is you left behind with the first two cards. Ultimately, the Lovers card signals that you are heading towards a long and lasting relationship. You may have to go through a rough patch before it will happen, but it will be worth the wait and whatever chaotic or troublesome situations you have to deal with. The Lovers card speaks of a balanced and supportive relationship but it also speaks of choosing that commitment, choosing to be with each other. 

Finally we have the knight of pentacles and the 7 of pentacles. Both of these cards relate to hard work and diligence. The knight of pentacles is reliable, efficient, and committed. Though he can be stubborn he is also patient and trustworthy. This card may signify BW much like the king of pentacles signified you. With you being a king and he being a knight, it could mean that you’re a little older or a little more mature, or perhaps that you’ve got a little more experience than him. This card also indicates a partnership in which both of you will be working towards your goals together, both willing to put in the time and effort it takes to create a strong relationship. And that’s confirmed by the 7 of pentacles which refers to hard work, perseverance, and diligence. This card warns that love may be slow to flourish but you will be rewarded eventually. It’s also a reminder that love isn’t always big romantic gestures and constant excitement. Love and relationships require both partners to put in the time and effort and energy every day to make them work. As a small aside, the 7 of pentacles may also indicate a romance born from friendship, so if BW is someone you’ve been friends with for a while, consider this a good sign. Especially since we had the 6 of cups earlier. 

Onto the oracle cards. 

Your Love Oracle is Rhianna and her three pieces of wisdom are: The badder you are, the better it is. / Sometimes you have to stick it out through the storm. / You have to be strong to let yourself be weak. I think the second one is the most relevant, especially with that tower card in the middle of the spread. Things won’t always be easy but persevere and everything will work out for the best. 

The two heart shaped cards say: Romance - Cupid’s arrow strikes! and Let there be closeness between you, but always give reach other space. Love never claims, it simply allows and gives. So there is something between you with that Romance card. And I think that second one really ties in with the 7 of pentacles energy as well as the balance of the Lovers card. 

And last but not least, you got 3 romance angel cards. Getting To Know Each Other (As you reveal your innermost selves to each other, your bond deepens.) / Heart-To-Heart Conversations (Honestly discuss your feelings with each other.) / Forgiving and Learning (As you release and heal the past, you experience more love in your present moments.) That forgiving and learning card definitely ties in with the 8 of cups/6 of swords transition energy and there is definitely something you need to let go of before you can move into this relationship. Heart-to-heart could be related to the work mentioned in the knight and seven of pentacles cards. And getting to know each other is interesting considering the couple of cards we got about friendship/memories. If you aren’t already friends with BW this may be a sign that becoming friends first would help you build the relationship. 

[mysticjagiya606]

I have always thought it was strange that V and Rika have known the Choi boys since their childhood…The boys being 21 in the game and V being 26. 

The only logical age difference would be that the boys were 12 when they were rescued and V would have been 17 years old. (That is being generous since they look about 6 in the photo, but you never know with anime styled artwork). 

Considering that Rika and V only broke up shortly before MC joined the RFA, you have to calculate how long the couple had to have been together…9 years. Rika and V have been together for nearly a decade. 

V bought Rikas apartment, which would be logically assumed to be directly after she moved out from her adoptive parent’s house.

As soon as V was starting to flourish with his photography and as Rika was just experiencing adolescence and looking for more than the misery she felt with her adoptive parents. Granted, V was the only form of love she knew. They were very young…it makes sense as to why they had an idealized idea of love. Rika wanted to be loved unconditionally…and V wanted to love unconditionally, like his mother described before she died.

Obviously, when they learned about the two abused children from church, they would step in to help. Rika was always wanting to help others and V had a good heart. 

Here is what we learned in the Secret Endings, as well as in Saeyoung’s flashbacks. 

Saeyoung was offered a job in the agency, by V. To be safe from their politician father, the two had to be split up. After Saeyoung was rescued, Saeran was still at the home. He was being tortured and questioned by his mother…truly believing that his brother abandoned him. 

V and Rika wanted to save Saeran too, but it went downhill. The mother refused to give him up and Rika (canon) ends up accidentally killing the twins’ mother in self defense. That is the kind of secret you take to your grave.

Here we are…the GAP.

  There is a Wikia saying that Rika kidnaps Saeran into Mint Eye….but Mint Eye doesn’t form until a couple of years before MC appears. This conclusion is drawn from Another Story…which isnt linked to the Canon route.

What really happens in between? When V and Rika are still together? 

Like I said, no one explains the gap and the journals in Another Story are not canon. The journals in Another Story only account for if Mint Eye were formed when Saeran was a very young child….which it wasn’t.

So there we have it. The only logical place Saeran could have been is with V and Rika, growing up. This is where the mistakes take root. 

Rika and V were kids raising kids…They grew up way too fast and never had the chance to discover themselves or learn to love properly.

To protect Saeran, he would need to be secluded from the outside world. If anyone found out about him, there would be a lot of questions rasied. 

V, still having contact with Saeyoung, could not allow the two to have contact with one another. V and Rika moved out into a secluded area by a cliff, which V said Rika suggested for his artistic flair, but honestly, its very convienient for raising a hidden child. 

In every route, Searan is extremely familiar with Rika’s apartment. Rika and V also lived together for an unspecified amount of time once the cliff house was purchased and the two were engaged. 

Years pass and the RFA is formed. The RFA includes Saeyoung��which is an excellent way to spend time with the boy and make sure he is okay. Again, he cannot contact Saeran, so Saeran would not be able to be invited. 

However, Saeran always knew about the activities of the RFA and that his brother was out in the world being “Cheerful” and “happy without him.”

He would have seen his makeshift mom and dad, Rika and V, having fun, chatting and holding parties with the brother he would never be able to speak to again. On top of feeling abandoned, this would create a lot of resentment…

When Rika finally decides to create Mint Eye, we all know that her and V break up. She thinks V abandoned her, even though she left him. She thinks he doesnt want to help save others. She thinks he is a hypocrite and a liar. 

Saeran would have seen all of this. He also would have seen V walk away from them and continue to spend time with/chat with the RFA members…including his brother. V didn’t even TRY to get Saeran from Rika. (Which I understand….how could he, without Saeyoung finding out? V isnt a bad person…he just didnt have any other choice.)

In Saerans eyes, it would be very easy to believe that V was a hypocrite who abandoned him…just like his brother did. Rika of course, has a hand in turning him against V, but a lot of it would have happened on it’s own. Rika was basically his MOM since his sorry excuse for a birth mom died…and Rika never left him like everyone else.

His seclusion explains why he is so socially OFF….(not including Ray, because he isnt canon). This explains why he is so utterly devoted to Rika, even without the presence of the elixer. (ignoring the childhood forced elixer because that isnt canon or possible in Seven’s route.) This explains why V couldn’t do anything to save Saeran before it was too late.

V also knew that Rika targeted the RFA members as her primary prey for the Mint Eye. V felt like he had to protect them, as they were never supposed to be dragged into this in the first place. He also felt the duty to preserve Rika’s honor…so the easiest way out was to claim that she died and cut her off entirely. Essentially…from Searans eyes…this would be abandonment. V and Rika saved his life. V was his father figure.

What’s weird is that Cheritz doesn’t really incorporate exactly how long that relationship really had to be and that Rika and V were basically parents.

If V and Rika were together from the twins’ being saved up until Mint Eye was formed (shortly before MC appears), then the story of Rika kidnapping Searan as a child is impossible. That is another reason why Cheritz could not make it canon. It would never fit with the canon route of 707 and the secret endings. 

Now, if we want to go ahead and believe in this theory as a possibility…then it would explain other things as well. I am hoping that Rika’s route will come out and explain (canonly) some of the gap…even if it isnt released as canon, it could shed light on some possibilities. 

Understanding all of the above, it explains why Rika absolutely LOSES it when V claims their love wasn’t real. Imagine being told that your engagement and 10 year relationship was a lie…after finally leaving foster care and believing that someone finally loves you, unconditionally. After the trauma bonding they ALREADY went through in the past. 

It also explains why V has such an extremely hard time coming clean. With this timeline, V has been lying for YEARS. Nearly a decade. He even lied to his very best friend, Jumin. 

All of this is especially sad for Jumin, because V is his lifeline. He has no one else. Even as adult friends, they mainly live on memories to get by this phase of dishonesty and absense of V. 

Imagine how difficult it would be to admit you were lying and did all of those questionable things? 

He would have to admit the existance of Saeran…a child the couple kept secluded from the world. Saeyoung’s true identity…which would put everyone in danger… a child he shipped off to a deadly agency. The twins’ mom…which is a literal murder comitted by the Holy Rika. 

It is just too much. It’s too dangerous to come clean. It’s just too much to explain.

The RFA were a group of friends. There was no reason for them to get involved or be put at risk. V puts so much effort into protecting the RFA…On top of that, his personal life is entirely irrelevant to holding charity parties.

Here we can see why V blames himself. He is always saying he does it to protect everyone. He blames himself for everything. Even without Mint Eye, if Rika remained sane, these problems would still exist. This is why he views everything as his mess to clean…even without his idea that his ideal view of love ruined Rika. Now Rika wanted the RFA members to herself in her new cult. It was a mess. Because of this, he is willing to sacrifice himself if it means everything can be fixed. He doesnt care about himself, he cares about protecting everyone else from “his” mistakes. (as he sees it)

We see them repeatedly rejecting getting help from the cops. This may seem stupid, considering that we shouldn’t be encouraging our players to avoid the authorities. Yet, considering the situation, it makes sense. 

The murder…the agency…the hidden child…

Even without the cult, everyone would be in danger and in BIG trouble if this was taken to the police. If V were to use the police against Rika and her cult, not only would she not have a chance to be “saved”, but the past would be easily dug up as well. That would be one huge, reputation-ruining, legal fiasco. 

The drama would destroy the livelihoods of everyone he cared about. V, a famous photographer…Rika, a well-known coordinator…Jumin, heir to an extremely powerful and known company called C&R…Zen, a rising actor…Saeyoung would be killed by the agency…Only Jaehee and Yoosung would scrape by.

V and Rika made very sketchy and very bad decisions together…even if they had pure intentions at the time. Remember…they were just teenagers when this started.

The mistakes started WAY before Mint Eye was ever an idea. Way before Rika caved into her darkness.

Considering how many years go by….whether Cheritz intended this or not…it would explain SO MUCH. You could make a whole anime or drama out of the eyes of V alone. Perhaps, a lot of this will change once more routes come out.

All I know is that the Choi boys were screwed no matter what and took some serious trauma out of this. 

And this, my dudes, is why I REALLY want a Rika route to be released. I want the light shed on what could have happened between saving the boys and forming Mint Eye.

[achromatic-morality]

( sydney ashborne ) was just spotted in amsterdam. rumor has it ( he ) is a ( 2000 / appears 28 ) year old ( fallen angel ) who resembles ( francisco lachowski ). ( he ) has been said to be ( adaptive & patient ) but also quite ( scrutinizing & unpredictable ).with all the chaos surrounding the magical underworld, ( he ) has chosen to align with ( the fallen angels ). ( he ) is currently serving as ( a member of the inner circle of fallen ). hopefully the city doesn’t devour them whole.

Name: sydney ashborne Race: fallen angel Alignment: fallen angels Role: inner circle of fallen angels Age: 2000+ / 28 years Gender: male Sexuality: homosexual

[History]

Before the Fall

Being one of the first, those among the angelic named by God for themselves, the archangel Sandalphon, he carried the burden of tending to the unborn without wavering. For a long while he was happy, devoted in his love of both the creator and the tiny flickers of new life he watched over. But, being one of the most gentle mannered and sharp-minded of the angelic he was tasked with a short lifetime on earth as a prophet when God needed certain things to come to pass. He was equally resolved to that task but when he returned he carried with him new emotions, new lessons learned from mortals; and the most puzzling of them all was doubt.

He watched, time and again, while God tested and toyed with their creations to the point of destruction. It was not the efforts of a loving creator guiding, it was the cruel hand that pushed and pushed until they broke, growing only increasingly more distant.

He felt the pain watching more and more as the sparks of life held in his care were burned out short, tiny souls never allowed to take their first breath or open their eyes through circumstance or, worse still, willful intention. It was a loss he felt, one by one, so pointless and cold. What was the use in granting life a chance to flourish only to have it stolen before it even began?

In the After

When he took the step, let himself fall, it was not an act of rebellion. Sydney had no reason left to rebel, he simply wanted to hold the choices ahead of him in his own hands. He long ago lost confidence in the idea of good and evil as anything but circumstance and necessity in the moment; all the world was shades of grey that he finally could speak out loud without fear of knowing what he would lose for his certainty.

Letting go of his old purpose entirely, leaving behind his title and the name granted him, Sydney rebuilt from the ashes of the grey that stained his once ivory wings. But a part of him was created for certain things, even with emotions and self finally closer to human than only the distance chill of his archangel brethren he still could not fully turn away from those around him. He wanted peace, silence, time to reflect after his centuries of unknown confusion, only to find himself handed a new role within the inner circle of the fallen angels.

His age was their benefit, his place so close to God and named by them, his power a rare advantage; but it wasn't any of those that convinced Sydney to take the offer. He simply looked around him at the scattered, disjointed lot that made up the fallen and decided that, much like the children he had always deeply loved and watched grow from before birth, they needed him. He couldn't abandon them.

The World is a Twisting Path

Sydney had become a looming presence, an ancient power that the angelic were wary of and the fallen fell to respecting for the most part. The world offered him escape, comfortable distraction and a new direction. He cares nothing for good or evil, neither for the divides in the races nor for the wars threatening to bubble up. If he must fight he will, viciously if need be, but until that point he acts as voice of reason to his less stable fallen counterparts and stands between them and their own destruction. He holds mutual regard for anyone really, friendly enough, bemused by the oddities of those around him. He intends to enjoy his freedom, damned or not, because people are simply people no matter what form they wear and he knows the true enemy is the God who abandoned them all a very long time when they grew bored with their toys.

[Basic info]

In spite of the deeper sorrow he feels Sydney is easy-going to a fault on the surface much of the time, more level-headed than most. His emotions scatter wildly but he doesn’t often let that get the best of him. Not unless someone hits a nerve, usually said nerves involving people he cares about or kids or baby animals. He’s also friendly, in a lazy sort of way, pleasant all and all for one of those with tainted blood in their veins. He has his limits, of course, but he’s one of the lesser of supposed evils when it comes to being fallen; he doesn’t want a war unless he can have one with God themselves for what they’ve done to the world in their playing games with life.

Sydney mourns for the lives that never are allowed to be, even now. He does his mourning in private and well away from the other fallen, but he still feels the spark of life end in the unborn and it deeply wounds him. Some part of him considers these lost souls connected to him, a memory only he knows as what they might have been. In his days as an archangel he was always there beside grieving mothers who never saw their hopes take a first breath. For every birth cry that was never heard Sydney was there to shed his own sorrow and hold the fragile soul that slipped away. As one of the fallen he feels this pain even more strongly and is intensely watchful of those he can sense life growing within. For those who destroy such things with cold indifference he has, privately, become something of a demon, a nightmare, no longer holding back in exacting revenge for those who were never granted a way to defend themselves. 

When he first fell Sydney threw himself into traveling, he moved from place to place with a wanderlust he’d never known before. There were things in the world he found amazing and to be part of the human experience actually brought him some comfort. He wandered the world for a few decades before finding the state of the other fallen and settling in Amsterdam with the role he took up for their sake but even now he longs for what felt like real freedom; to roam without purpose weighing him down.

Envy is something of a vice for Sydney, because he does indeed envy mortals and their freedom of choice. He was created a certain way, to be a certain thing, and his path was set before him with expectations that he would never question. When he did it came with the cost of some of what he was. For mortals to be born with a clean slate and possibilities of their own design he has always felt a little slighted. He makes his own choices now but even then it’s at a cost, knowing he won’t feel the sort of peace he once knew now that he’s damned himself for the chance at deciding his own fate.

Children are another thing mortals have the capacity for that he greatly envies. He would be perfectly happy having a family, he was after all created with a deep affection for the unborn and he adores children. But as an angel he knows it’s not likely, and being gay makes that an even more complicated matter. Compounded with the sheer danger he exists within as part of the inner circle of the fallen angels he can’t imagine that want is ever going to be fulfilled.

Of course family overall is a sore spot. His twin sibling Metatron has been lost to him for a very long time. He neither knows if they can hear any of his prayers or even they even want to, or if the fall has put a wall between them that can never be torn down. He deeply misses the bond they used to have, but it seems to be something else lost to time.

He compensates somewhat for the things he can’t have by trying to look after those around him. His fallen ‘siblings’ of course, but it makes no real difference to Sydney what race anyone is if they’re in a dire situation. He views angels as his still distant ‘cousins’, much to the irritation of many of the fallen, and humans and werewolves not exactly as equals but still not anything to loathe simply for being different. He actually finds them fascinating and admirable in their determination and ability to survive. His basic nature is that of a caregiver, that tends to extend a bit too far at times.

He was once an archangel though, so he’s not incapable of holding his own, just usually prefers not to fight for the simple sake of it. If necessity he will, but short of that he is sharply intelligent and tries to work his way around problems. His role in past wars was more in making plans and tending to the injured than outright fighting. He certainly can though if need be, and since falling that skill has turned more vicious than it used to be, dangerous in the lack of control he can maintain in the heat of battle. Strategy is what he brings strongest to the table within the circle, that and his willingness to bridge the gaps. He’ll step outside the security of dealing with the fallen to approach angels or any other race if it brings change, quick to volunteer for such things in order to keep some of the bad blood out of the equation with his own passive outlook towards his ‘cousins’ and the mortals.

Given his opinions of God as a whole Sydney is very questioning of those in power, even the ones who lead the fallen. He doesn’t care to stand toe to toe with them if he feels their actions are foolish or reckless, pointing that much out in flat terms. He’s a follower by choice but certainly not because he feels he needs to be in order to stay safe.’

 [Wanted Connections]

Past connections

Metatron // Open // Angel or Fallen Angel

Sydney hasn't seen his twin sibling since breaking away from heaven a good century ago. While he has attempted contact now and then it seems unlikely that the angel who serves as the voice of God is going to hear the words of the fallen. He still has no idea where his sibling is and what their opinions of him are now. In the past the two had a warm, if not typical sibling teasing relationship at times, but Metatron being the busier of the two there was some distance between them. Open to pretty much anything with this one.

Other angels // Open // Angels or Fallen Angels

Since he was one of the first created after Adam and Eve discovered how to create life, and thus God needed someone to look after the unborn until they were to join their earthly parents, he has ties to other angels. An archangel himself, but one of the 'lesser' ones, he still held some command over others. It was never really a point he practiced though, always a bit curious and quiet by nature. Now though, as one of the fallen, his old ties might be new enemies, or old friends cautious about the dangers of that friendship.

Almost soulmate // Open // Angel or Fallen Angel

Sydney had one once, he thought, but his ideals ran too wild and said person stepped back. Given that he existed to look after the unborn it was only natural that in time and watching how the humans existed he came to the conclusion that he wanted such things as well. For an angel though that was impossible, a point of strain between himself and the one he thought was meant for him and, eventually, part of the reason they distanced from each other. Now fallen, Sydney has all but let the memories fade. It was never meant to be, he was mistaken, but the pain still lingers somewhere and maybe the best he can do is salvage a friendship with them.

Antagonist // Open // Angel or Fallen Angel

While he had a habit of keeping to himself and watching the human world, there was one who Sydney is certain took some sort of pleasure in riling him up. Constantly annoying him about his shortcomings as an Archangel who didn't step up to fight, more or less just making his life frustrating. Ironically though the tension between them is what taught Sydney that he could rebel in the end, pushed too far, he lashed out and discovered that he was not simply a follower to the will of God. This person pushed him to that first step that would lead to his fall and at the time the two were constantly at odds but now Sydney has realized he might owe them for that. It still doesn't mean they get along though, not yet anyway.

Current Connections

'Siblings' // Open // Fallen Angel

While Sydney keeps an eye on most of his fallen 'siblings', this one has earned a soft spot with him. For whatever reason he's taken to looking after them, trying to steer them in the right direction and more often than not getting himself into trouble because of them. But it's not such a bad thing, they're helping him step more and more into the sort of freedom he's always wanted, letting go of things and enjoying the world. So it's a mutual benefit really, that chaos. Helping him shake off his reservations and really enjoy life now and he needs that more than he realizes. Unfortunately they’re also stirring up a bit of impulsive nature he didn’t know he had but maybe that’s not a bad thing.

Mortal Counterpart // Open // Human or Werewolf

Sydney finds humans and their sort fascinating, mortals in general really. This one is an oddity and he enjoys their company for all the strange notions they bring with them. It's a bit eye-opening what he's discovered along the way from them and ultimately there's a hint of fear behind it knowing how fragile and short-lived mortals are. The pain of losing that friendship one day has him acting somewhat as looming protector to them, true, but he really can't help it.

Best Friend // Open // Vampire // Taken by Felix

An old friend and off and on lover over the years, Sydney has maintained a comfortable friendship with this person. They met early after his fall and when he realized he liked his company Sydney stuck around. They've had periods of distance because life had gone different ways but still run back across each other. There's something comfortable between them and Sydney considers them to be his best friend and confidant.

Soulmate // Open // Any

After thinking he'd found it in the past and lost it the fact that there is someone who he connects to so entirely is going to be startling for Sydney.  The person that Sydney finds both his opposite and partner in crime, something missing he didn't expect to find at all. 

[Tags] 

dusty like an old photograph // Visual tag  by divine words  // Musings search the ashes // Interactions

[juleswolverton-hyde]

Put Together (BC x Reader)

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Street Artist!Bangchan x Reader

Warnings: No warnings apply

Summary: Moving in together is a pretty big milestone which goes accompanied by a fun shopping trip to IKEA, wandering through the showrooms to gain inspiration for the shared home.

Putting things together, however, proves to be very difficult for a kangaroo and a koala.

Masterlist

Everything has a bright and dark side for all in the world contains positivity and its counterpart. Such is the way of existence, although the shadow side might not be realized until later when trying to put together the furniture bought for the brand new shared studio in a redeveloped part of the town, the community trying to save face by improving neglected neighbourhoods just enough in the hopes of attracting young people to thus let it flourish at their hands. A successful endeavour, since many couples in the prime of their lives have taken up residence in the harbour district with refurbished warehouses decorated with approved graffiti, some works even by the hand of the Australian boyfriend of a mere though steady nine months.

The trip to IKEA was a lot of fun, singing along to songs playing on the voluminous radio on the top of lungs while waiting in a terrible rush hour because more minds had the idea of visiting the massive home depot on a dreary day. It was the sole way to keep the simmering irritation thanks to standing endlessly frozen among honking cars to a bare minimum, fingers entwined while getting lost in the melodies.

The briefly picked up on looks of adoration as interior showrooms were scoured for inspiration were heart-melting, Chris noting down all the chosen pieces of furniture on the small slip of paper with the cheap company pencil regardless of the fact the decisions were basically made without leaving many choices to the blonde boy. When remarking upon the continuous silent agreement, only occasionally providing some input on colour choice, the youth commented that building a home together is all that really mattered to him. Moreover, there was confidence in knowing better how to embody both personalities in the interior than he himself would have been able to do. Henceforth, howbeit with this somewhat uncomfortably in mind, the would-be massive shopping trip cracked on.

Alongside pure affection, there was also a dominant sense of pride in deep earthly eyes that seeped through in attitude, proud to have made it to this milestone, this achievement that was solely a dream for both on lonely days wherein the concept of love was practically unknown aside from family bonds and friendships formed at school. A satisfied innocent smile could not be erased from roseate lips throughout the entire venture, broadening to a wide bubbly smile when testing couches by launching ourselves onto them or spinning around in desk chairs together, seated on the personified koala’s lap and holding on for dear life to the characteristic raven black leather jacket, in search of the perfect one for the planned small home office.

Withal, every sort of happiness comes at a cost, this being that the ecstatic joy has malformed into frustrating confusion now that cardboard boxes retrieved from the immense storehouse litter the bare oaken floor of the empty echoing studio and the time has come to put the furniture together with, at times questionable, manuals. Missing screws or seemingly misplaced pre-created holes form only two of the multitude of sources for agitation, Chris’s brightness gradually becoming darker as the time passes and solely the round coarse night-toned metal coffee table, a few wall shelves, the stone grey couch - this one in particular with a lot of cursing and fuming in resilience after almost ripping the papers with step-by-step instructions - and a single bookshelf awaiting its three neighbours have been established in three hours time.

The cap that was bought on the first trip abroad as a couple, Scotland as its destination, is thrown to the side with a low resigning sigh after reading the supposedly easy to understand guide to the second one of the collection of bookshelves, a bright alabaster cabinet with glass doors. ‘It doesn’t make sense. How is it possible that one door fits perfectly and the other doesn’t?’

‘Did you put the clasps parallel to the others?’  ‘Yes, I did. Look,’ by means of illustration, the inside of the display is shown, pointing at the metal hinges in the designated places which are, indeed, parallel to those opposite, ‘I placed them where you said.’

The position of those already in the correct place was discovered after giving the advice of perhaps reading the text on the paper the correct way instead of upside down and yet vocal directions still had to be given to reach the current part of the building process. Not to say Chris is not the most skilled person when it comes to IKEA furniture or any furniture for that matter, but the flashback of the battle with the first bookcase makes it so that a slight scepticism has come to colour attitude in the predicament caused by this, apparently, problematic one.

‘Let me give it a spin, maybe I’ll be able to insert it. You might break the glass if you try to ram it in like this.’ The former four attempts at placing the door where it should go according to the guide went dramatically wrong, every carefully made endeavour to take on the task instead cut off by assuring snarky remarks. Any gently given direction of slightly altering the angle of insertion was dismissed with a coldly sharp comment about perfectly being able to handle it, so that, too, did not help in regards to any sort of progress.

Howbeit very reluctant, a chance is given with pouted lips and mocha eyes glaring at the last piece of the puzzle. ‘Good luck. I swear, if you manage to- oh.’

As predicted, all that was needed to do was manipulating the insert angle of the door a tad, the discovery leading to an indignant huff accompanied by a check-up whether the seemingly impossible mission has truly been accomplished. Which it obviously is, judging by the golden locks hanging in self-deprecating shame and sarcastic inwardly directed speech. ‘Are you serious?’

A pat on the shoulder makes the street artist raise his head at a broad smug smile on a beloved face, finding satisfaction in being better in doing something which is generally associated with men. ‘I told you how to do it, didn’t I? If only you’d listened.’

‘Oh, come on, Y/N. I still managed to put the couch together on my own because you weren’t a lot of help with that.’ An accusing index finger points to the ashen fabric sofa set against the far east wall, above which has yet to be hung the collection of empty sleek lacquered black frames for displaying Chris’s drawings specially made for decorating the house.

‘I was looking for the missing screws!’ Palms rise into the air in dramatic defence, gaze unbelieving of the argument. ‘How was I supposed to know the rest was just a matter of inserting one part into the other?’

‘Sure, koala.’ The devious smile faded from one visage is replicated on the other, evidently not backing out of the witty battle until a triumph is had, hands firmly placed on the hips, thus pressing the fabric of the loose shadow-toned shirt covered in wood snippets and dust tightly over a well-trained chest. ‘But who also put together the coffee table?’

A denying shake of the head as raised digits lower again to be tucked into the pockets of the skinny jeans also affected by decorating the shared home, followed by an incredulous laugh at the attempted clever response proving superiority. ‘That was simply a matter of getting it out of the box, kangaroo boy.’

‘Oi, it also required some putting together.’ Pure uncensored defied belief seeps through in the voice of the street artist, unhappy with being unmasked by such an easy task that does not count in the overall grander picture.  

‘You only had to place the tabletop on its foundation, so that doesn’t count. Furthermore, who installed the shelves on the wall because someone could not handle the drill properly and almost drilled through the places for the attachments?’

Stark white teeth distractingly bite down on the bottom lip, Chris turning away to hide the shame of the almost accident whereby a woman’s touch formed the apparent saviour of a ruined interior before daringly locking gazes. ‘If the coffee table does not count as furnishing than that doesn’t as well. And it’s not my fault the wood is so thin, it’s easy to completely run it through if there’s barely any depth or thickness to it.’

‘No, it isn’t. You’re just clumsy, but you don’t want to admit it.’

An eyebrow is arrogantly cocked at the defiant street artist, who copies the attitude with the intention to counterattack with a sarcastic comment that shall continue the bickering until a clear victor appears. ‘Me? Clumsy? Who almost dropped the boxes with candle holders for the bedroom yesterday?’

Well, for what has to function as a bedroom since it is nothing more than a simple oaken bed frame with drawers and two matching night tables made of the same material, located in the space next to the little balcony looking out over the old harbour. Again, it was established with the necessary cursing and risk of a shredded manual, the help continuously searching the massive cardboard box for the needed parts sometimes wrapped in bubble wrap while trying to keep the kangaroo boy’s temper under control. As it would seem, the platinum blonde boyfriend is better at popping bubbles than reading and following the instructions given by IKEA.

‘That wasn’t because I’m clumsy, but because you scared the living daylights out of me by suddenly appearing and trying to wrestle me to the ground.’ As a means of giving extra strength to the point, a stern finger points from an offended face to the scene of the past accident, speaking with a higher tone now that sensitive nerves truly are on edge with triggering memories.

Yesterday, it had seemed like a genius prank to jump out of the bathroom while bringing in the newly acquired fragile candle holders that had the Aussie frantically search the massive lower floor of the home depot only to find the mysteriously disappeared girl again in the candle section, judging which holder would go with what candle and colour while also keeping the outlay of the planned interior in mind. Thus, the notion of caution while bringing in the unloaded boxes with frames and accessories that had temporarily formed a fort in the cool hallway of the apartment building was entirely nullified, even though the culprit put a special emphasis on this beforehand when it was him carrying the vases for the bouquets of fake flowers. A scattering of violet reflecting glass almost formed the consequence of the affectionately meant yet aggravating instead gesture, the youth barely able to save face by rapidly steadying a toppling stance and breakable decoration.

Household chores are up to the artist for the coming month as a punishment.

‘Alright, fair point. But still, you especially wanted the crystal ones while you know I can attack at any time.’ A foreboding playful stance is taken up, the bickering entirely forgotten as crossed arms unravel to spread wide while the back arches in the anticipation of pouncing on the targeted prey in front with a mischievous grin.

The step backwards does nothing to escape the fate already set in motion, the wiggle of dark eyebrows promising there is no escape from the love about to be shown. Regardless of the urge to attempt to find a way out, it is difficult to suppress the amusement as the predatory stance changes to resemble a kangaroo which results in a chuckled warning. ‘Chris, don’t.’

‘I’m gonna catch you~.’ A provocative hop forward with an adorable high-pitched giggle, bleached locks obscuring the sparkling mocha stare.

‘No, you won’t.’ Another step backwards on the bare oaken floor, answering the threat with a voice truly bordering on pure innocent laughter. ‘Catch me if you can.’

What ensues is a weirdly human kangaroo madly chasing his offender who has fully joined in the grinning, cutely though relentlessly continuing the chase after her until she is driven into the kitchen corner and picked up with ease by strong veiny arms in a twirling fashion.

When feet touch the ground again, they linger a few centimetres from the ones which pursued them a mere second ago, cheek contently resting on the onyx fabric displaying the effect of furnishing, listening to the steady heartbeat of the cheekily smiling beloved. ‘You’re an idiot, Chris Bang.’

‘Could say the same for you, koala.’ A kiss on the crown of the head results in a glance upward into warm adoring chocolate irises, which, in turn, leads to another gentle meeting but this time between mouths with a tenderness that erases some of the devilish attitudes in both individuals. The embrace tightens, ensuring the instincts always triggered in each other’s presence there is nothing but a safe haven, a home for two people to grow in.

Though wanting to remain in the moment for as long as possible, much remains to be done and has to be for the day might still be young yet demands action, knowing the cardboard mess is unbearable to live in. Moreover, the break from daily obligations has a deadline that would rather not be extended due to a delay in settling into the new studio together. Henceforth, breathless lips laboriously pull away as a big palm comes to cup the cheek while a desperate urgency begs for a deeper connection. ‘Let’s take a break and then crack on with the other bookshelves and the dining room. Would be nice to not eat dinner on the floor for once.’

For a second, Chris is clearly at a loss for words and composure, still leaning forward with puzzlement plastered across the lost expression. Nonetheless, it is soon replaced with an amiable relief at getting a repose from putting together incomprehensible installations, consenting to the plan with a pleased hum.

The happiness of the pause with peach ice teas and fruit salad does not linger long because next up are the other bookshelves so that the living room is at least somewhat done, needing only a few fake though lush green plants, Chan’s framed works on the bare walls and a few other homely accessories alongside filled shelves to finish it off officially.

It only takes five minutes for a ripped manual.

[fragmentedshards]

All Our Yesterdays, Chapter One

Tuebor

-

The witch behind the counter was rummaging around in her filing cabinet to find blank certificates as Eileen stood on the customer side, shifting back and forth from foot to foot. She was aware of how odd she must have looked; a sixteen year-old-girl in Muggle clothes standing awkwardly alone in among the bright and pristine cloaks of bustling witches and wizards working in the Ministry of Magic. Nevertheless, those clothes served a purpose; she needed to be in disguise, and though she might stand out at the Ministry dressed as a Muggle, she would not be recognized. She had even cut off most of her dark hair; now it was as short as a boy’s hair.

“Now, dear, what did you say your given name was?” the witch asked, appearing again and holding the file that would become Eileen’s new identity certificate. “The name you wanted to change?”

Eileen looked at the Ministry witch, who was gray-haired and dressed in fuchsia robes, thinking to herself that this witch looked remarkably youthful for someone with gray hair. “Eileen Lilly Riddle,” she whispered.

The witch nodded and wrote the name down on a separate sheet of parchment with her quill. She then moved the blank certificate in front of her. “And what is the new name you decided on?”

Eileen bit her lip. She had thought of a name before entering the Ministry. She had gone through all the people in her life she had loved, and those she had lost, and everyone and everywhere that had ever been dear to her. Unfortunately, most of those names would not do for inconspicuousness. She couldn’t use the name of her school, or her father, or any of her professors. Finally, she decided what she would do for a name, a name derived from the stars and from her dearest friend, and that was the name she told the Ministry witch.

“Astoria Eileen Greengrass,” Eileen said, thinking of Daphne.

The witch scribbled on the certificate and shuffled sheets of parchment around. “Have you already registered for this upcoming term at Ilvermorny?” she asked, peering at Eileen over her large purple spectacles. Her eyes were kind, though scrutinizing.

“Yes ma’am,” Eileen nodded quickly. “It should be in my file. I also arranged for my host family, and bought all my books in advance. I just need to drop them off, along with the rest of my luggage and my new identification, at whichever place I’m supposed to leave them.”

“Ah,” was all the witch said, as if she had suddenly had an epiphany. She flipped through the parchment sheets in Eileen’s file until she found the one she was looking for. “You’re right, it is right here! Host family and everything,” she straightened her spectacles and looked closer. “But you aren’t scheduled for transport until much later this evening, child.”

“That’s just as well,” the girl replied, pulling nervously at the long sleeve of her shirt. “I have to make one last visit before I leave for Ilvermorny. May I ask for a Ministry escort to and from the place I need to visit?”

The Ministry witch smiled kindly down at Eileen. “Certainly,” she obliged, snapping her fingers. Immediately another, much younger witch appeared, not much older than Eileen herself. This one had light blue hair, very dark skin, and was dressed in turquoise robes. Her expression was chillingly stoic. “This is Cyrena Apophylline, a Ministry intern. She will accompany you on this errand and back again. And,” (here she paused to write on a new sheet of parchment) “should you have trouble reaching this section of the Ministry upon your return simply hand this to whoever is preventing your return and tell them you must speak to Allegra Fabron.”

She handed the parchment to Eileen with a flourish, and the young girl could hardly decipher any of the writing on it besides the flamboyant signature reading Allegra Fabron. Cyrena's eyes bored into Eileen coldly, unnerving the younger witch. “Come,” she commanded, and began a brisk march through the Ministry corridor. Eileen faltered for half a second before trotting to reach her escort, thanking Allegra over her shoulder.

~

Within minutes they arrived in front of the large cast iron gates of Malfoy Manor, which appeared as a skeleton of the grand estate it had been. Eileen recalled a time when this place was alive with happiness, and herself at the center of it all, for as long as she could remember... until recent events, and her blood, her very existence, ruined everything and took the joy of her loved ones as well as her own.

The windows were dirty, the hedge was untrimmed, and weeds had taken over the front garden. In a matter of just two years of minimal care, the Malfoy home had nearly fallen apart. Eileen couldn’t bear to think what would happen to this memory palace if she did not take action.

“You are his daughter, aren’t you?” Cyrena’s voice pulled Eileen from her musing. The Ministry intern did not look at the witch she spoke to, instead keeping her eyes trained on the mansion before them. “He Who Must Not Be Named?” Something about the question sounded much more like a declaration, and Eileen could see the muscles working in Cyrena’s jaw.

Eileen drew a long breath before calming her rage enough to answer Cyrena’s question. “My only connection to that monster is the blood in my veins. My true family and I risked everything in betraying that devil, acting on both sides to ensure his demise. I will not have the names of heroes sullied, nor will I be associated in any way with that deplorable hell-beast that aided in spawning me.”

Cyrena said nothing. Eileen did not look, but she was sure the Ministry intern was pursing her lips together swelling her words. Her nerve renewed by her anger, Eileen added “Do not follow me into the house. I have something to do alone.” The moment she finished her sentence, she gently pushed open the gate and glided down the stone path to Malfoy Manor.

The moment Eileen entered the parlor she saw Narcissa Malfoy, standing still as a statue and staring at the large family portrait that hung on the wall above the fireplace. She must have heard Eileen’s footsteps, because no sooner had the younger witch closed the parlor door behind her than Narcissa turned and broke into a heartbroken smile.

“Oh, my darling girl!” Mrs. Malfoy exclaimed as she swept across the room to Eileen and engulfed her in a hug. “I wondered where you went! Draco will be home soon...”

“It’s good that he isn’t here at the moment,” Eileen said, breaking the embrace. “I need to talk to you before he gets back.”

Narcissa’s expression fell from joyful to frightened in record time. “What on earth is the matter, dear girl?” she asked in low, concerned gasps, taking both of Eileen’s hands and leading her to one of the four couches.

Eileen took deep breath. She did not know where to start; there was too much to say all at once. How could she tell this woman - the mother of the boy she loved, the woman who had loved her dearly as her own daughter, and the woman whom Eileen had unintentionally caused so much grief simply by being born in the first place - the truth of what she planned to do?

“Narcissa,” the girl whispered. “I’m running away.”

The older woman breathed in, as if preparing to argue, but Eileen suddenly found that her words were tumbling out of her mouth too fast for herself to stop or for Narcissa to get a word in edgewise; “I have it all planned out, I’m going to America and I’ll finish my education at Ilvermorny. It’s the only way to keep you safe, all of my loved ones who haven’t died yet.”

“My girl,” Narcissa interrupted in a pleading voice, “What on earth made you think this is the right choice?”

Without missing a beat, Eileen sobbed, “I killed your husband; I killed Lucius!”

“Rioters killed my husband, dear, rioters and zealots,” Narcissa stroked Eileen’s hair in a motherly fashion. “You did everything you could to keep him safe.”

Eileen’s shoulders sagged, defeated, as she faced Narcissa. “Rioters? Don’t you remember why they were rioting?” before Narcissa could answer, Eileen answered for her. “They were enraged because I still live, because they can’t trust that I won’t turn just as evil as the Dark Lord.”

Eileen could feel Narcissa using great self-restraint as the older woman shook her gently. “Blood and bone do not make heart and soul, my girl! He was less than human, and you are the most determined and golden-hearted girl I have ever known. You are nothing like him, and you will never turn into anyone or anything even close to him.”

“I know that,” the girl clutched Narcissa’s hands. “You know that. All my living loved ones know that. But the general population does not know that, and too many loved ones are no longer living because of me. I have to disappear, Narcissa. Eileen Lilly Riddle must never have existed.”

“And just how do you plan to achieve that?”

Eileen grinned bittersweetly. “Remember how I studied Papa’s work, how he created his own incantations? I managed to make some of my own, and I made a selective memory spell! I can whisper it to someone closest to me, and it will spread like a virus across the community so anyone who has ever known me will forget me. It’s that potent. It only takes a few hours, too, which gives me enough time to finalize my change of name and get out of the country.”

Narcissa shook her head, puzzled. “I don’t understand. Which part of that is selective?”

“You,” Eileen answered. “I want you to remember me. If I ever return home, I want somewhere to come.” she took a small tin of a homemade salve out of her pocket and began rubbing the clear ooze on the temples and forehead of a tearful Narcissa. “I’m sorry that this means you will have to live with the pain I caused you...”

Narcissa shook Eileen again. “You never caused me pain, dear,” she insisted. “You only ever brought me joy! That applies to Lucius too... and, I might add, for my son. You two share an uncanny bond, my darling girl. This spell might not work on him.”

Eileen shook her head sadly. “It will. I know it will. I designed it to completely recreate all memories.”

“And your cousin? His friends?” Narcissa looked pleadingly at Eileen.

“Harry and our friends will be under the spell, just like everyone else,” she said coldly. The time of casting the spell was drawing close, and she knew that if she thought too hard on all the people she would miss, she would collapse and weep.

Knowing she was beaten, Narcissa gazed tearfully at Eileen, pulling her close by her wrists. “I love you, my darling little girl,” she whispered, summoning all her strength and hoping it would sustain her for the coming years, however many of them that might be.

A door opened and closed near the front of the house, and for a moment Eileen was expecting Cyrena to come marching into the parlor. The footsteps that walked into the room, however, belonged to Draco Malfoy. Eileen found that now, at the moment when she must call upon all her courage, she could barely breathe.

“Mother, do you know who-” Draco called out to Narcissa, presumably about to ask what the Ministry intern was doing stationed at his doorstep, when he looked up and noticed Eileen. Just like his mother, he rushed to her and wrapped her in a tight hug. Eileen squeezed her eyes shut, doing everything in her power not to cry. In a choked and shaky voice, she whispered in his ear; “Tuebor.”

There it was. The spell she had created herself, just like her father had once done. This was the spell that would erase her from memory, and as a result, save lives.

Draco stood in a dazed stupor as the spell took effect. Eileen knew she needed to get out of the manor before he adjusted and began asking questions. With a last farewell to a distinctly heartbroken Narcissa, she ran out of the house with tears streaming down her face.

~

Cyrena was still standing rooted on the spot by the gate. She obviously noticed Eileen’s red and wet face, and though she refused to say anything, her expression softened as she prepared to return the two of them to the Ministry. In an effort to control her sobs, Eileen took four deep breaths, each one for four seconds. By the time she would be on her way to Ilvermorny, the spell would have permeated through everyone who had ever even heard her name, eliminating her from their minds and hearts. That was the way it should always have been.

[thesarcasticramen]

PROOF THAT TONY STARK HAS A HEART: IRONDAD EDITION

*inhales deeply* i don’t even know why i need to discuss this but here we go.

here are the basics that most of us are probably well-aware of now. the irondad and spiderson thing originated when tony stark recruits peter parker in captain america: civil war which also marks the second appearance of the latter since iron man 2.

setting aside the obvious liking i’ve taken to this relationship, i admit, tony’s recruitment with a (possibly then) fourteen-year old kid in a fight with highly-trained super-powered individuals in berlin without the knowledge of his legal guardian about the real matter—yes, we know she wouldn’t have let him because she’s an incredible mother to peter—because he blackmailed him into doing so is problematic. tony threatened the boy of disclosing his part-time vigilantism if he doesn’t reconsider his rejection of fighting alongside him. moreover, peter, as he had told steve during their duel and in the opening vlog of homecoming, wasn’t even in the know about the accords. it was a lapse of judgment on tony’s side that he didn’t shed some light on the conflict before dragging him into it. sure, peter has had his spidey powers then and tony wouldn’t have let something harmful befall on the teen on his watch and he knew that the other team isn’t really out for blood, but frankly, that wasn’t really one of tony’s best moments.

one detail we’ve all taken into account, aside from the fact that he already knows spider-man’s identity, is the suit tony had prepared for peter. tony stark is a genius, that is a universally-acknowledged truth, but even he took way more than several hours to create his own suit, design its features and run tests. this proves that tony stark had already been monitoring spider-man before civil war even took place, going out of his way to study the workings of the vigilante and upgrading his armor for more convenience, efficiency, and safety. after the fight, he relinquishes millions-worth of property to peter’s hands not just because it barely even scraped tony’s fortune, but to keep him safe and under his watch. the mentorship was bound to happen right from the start, tony has just been waiting for the right moment.

on spiderman: homecoming, peter receives radio silence from tony for the months that followed the events of civil war. peter is seen to be struggling to contain the excitement of participating in bigger things like the walmart parking lot fight instead of his usual fix of small crimes in queens and the disappointment of still not hearing a word from tony. people viewed this as another issue as tony left peter to fend for himself after using him to do his bidding. as a mentor should, it would’ve been better if tony did become more of a recurring presence in peter’s life and gave him actual lessons and training rather than just swooping in when the boy is on the brink of danger.

however, we see all kinds of features tony has put in the suit for the kid, as a fruit of all his past mistakes that he learned from. a parachute, a tracker, a heater—all of these things make peter extra protected. don’t even get me started on the training wheels protocol, the baby monitor protocol, and karen. of course, spider-man can do without all of those things (which i will be explaining later on, stay with me) but tony is doing his best to let peter spread his wings but not fly too close to the sun. “stay close to the ground” and “be a friendly-neighborhood spider-man” weren’t restrictions on peter, they were encouragement that looking out for the little guy matter as much as what the avengers do and those are going to help him work his way up and grow into a much wiser superhero.

“it’s not too early to start thinking about college”is also an important part of the aftermath of getting dunked in a lake. tony stressed on the significance of education, as any parent would, and even offered to pull on some strings and give a good word out for him. he knows peter is a genius and had so much potential so he wanted to make it flourish and not let it go to waste for the benefit of the boy and possibly of the world he’s going to change someday.

tidbits that are equally essential: tony makes sure peter is also under happy’s surveillance. tony knows about the churro lady and that he quit the band, he either reviews the reports that happy forwards to him or listens to happy rant about peter. either way, he cares enough to pay attention and remember that sort of information.

howard stark wasn’t “father of the year”. despite growing up with such a detached dad, tony didn’t want to end up treating peter, who wasn’t biologically his, by the way—i get that blood of the covenant is thicker than the water in the womb but it’s to give emphasis that tony cared for peter by choice—the same way howard treated him. he was “breaking the cycle of shame” by validating and praising peter’s achievements because he knew how it felt but just crave for that from the one person you want to hear it from.

in an excerpt from destiny arrives by liza palmer, the official paperback version of infinity war, peter had wanted tony’s approval since day one and that explains his reckless attempts of proving himself by going against tony’s warnings. what he fails to notice is, tony had been validating him since iron man 2. “nice work kid.” “you did a good job, stay down.” “great work in dc.”

now let’s get to the big yikes scene. first of all, tony stark was offended to think that peter thought he didn’t care. if stepping out of that suit (being actually there) looking pissed doesn’t already show that, then i don’t know what else would. see, he didn’t take the suit just because peter screwed the pooch and he thinks he is not capable of using it intelligently, he took the suit to teach him a lesson about responsibility. tony was once reliant on his iron man suits that he lost sight of how to stand up on his own two feet and he didn’t want peter to end up being the same. “if you’re nothing without the suit, then you shouldn’t have it.” tony wanted peter to learn that being a superhero is more than having a suit, it’s about the choices, the path, the actions, and the person, himself.

the “i was just trying to be like you.” “and i wanted you to be better.” dialogue made me draw a conclusion (this is just my personal opinion), the possible story behind the radio silence was because tony was scared peter would end up following his footsteps. he wanted peter to navigate super heroism on his own, with only the slightest guidance, to be able to figure out who he really was and to learn on how to build his own character and not replicate iron man and his failures. tony wanted peter to be peter, spider-man to be spider-man, because that’s what he needs to be and what he believes to be what the world and peter deserved to be, better. it’s why he set the parameters to the gray area: avoiding the things he would and wouldn’t do.

if people thought tony stopped peter from being spider-man by taking the suit away, wrong. peter chose that because he needed the time to rethink. in the end, he managed to push himself back up and be the bigger person, the hero. remember that scene wherein he can’t get out from under all those rubble and he almost gave up because he believed that he would never? recalling tony’s words made him reach an epiphany that his strength indeed does not come from his suit, but from himself. he was spider-man even before, with, our without the suit. and that, by the end of the day, is what all he needed to realize in order to triumph.

another issue i frown at is tony’s recruitment of peter to be one of the avengers at the end of homecoming. peter is still a kid after all and letting him be exposed to the media and to more accountability and bigger threats is just a no-no for me. thank goodness, peter turned that down, thinking it was a test. test or not, tony is proud of peter’s decision because it shows how much the kid has matured and actually listened to his concerns.

TOUGH LOVE, these words were uttered by tony stark, himself so need i really say more?

in the beginning of infinity war, tony was initiating the talk of having kids with pepper, a huge development that could possibly be influenced by the amount of peter parker he had become accustomed to. tony and peter’s relationship is seen to have evolved more. their dynamic and coordination is like that of a well-oiled machine. in the scene where peter was getting beamed up, we were introduced to the ironspider suit but he was sent home by tony. peter, however, still managed to hitch the ride to space.

“speaking of loyalty.” - peter parker to tony stark in avengers infinity war (2018). you mean, loyalty and worry? to say that tony was terrified to see peter aboard is the understatement of the century. tony pretty much lost his mind, not wanting to be the reason or the one responsible for peter not coming home to his aunt, just as he was scared when peter went down in the airport and in the ferry incident. tony didn’t have a single good memory in outer space and he certainly can’t put peter through the same thing. he didn’t want another loved one to be at risk all because of him and his conscience and heart absolutely cannot take that. but as much as it’s hard for him to accept it, tony didn’t have much of a choice but to knight peter as an avenger.

“what’s your plan?” tony put so much faith in peter’s wit, skills, and capabilities even back in civil war when they took down ant man and when he enlisted his help albeit everybody saying he was crazy to and he continues to do so when he entrusted the plan of freeing strange to peter and when he called for him during the removal of thanos’ gauntlet. again, belief and validation means a lot to a protege.

“what is he, your ward?” even stephen points out the obvious bond between the two.

“you shoot my guy and i’ll blast him. let’s go!”one of tony’s major priorities in the movie is protecting peter. according to accounts that have purchased destiny arrives, tony was depicted to have been going through an existential crisis throughout the whole endeavor over the possibility of losing peter, gnawing at his gut, coming into terms with how pepper always felt when he did something wherein he would only have a fifty-fifty chance of survival. he was also coming into terms with how much he cares for the boy.

i’m not going to delve deeper into THAT scene, and instead, present to you another excerpt from destiny arrives:

there is a reason why marvel repeatedly accentuates that the irondad and spiderson arc is a vital aspect of the emotional core of infinity war and endgame. in the new and latest teaser for endgame, tony is shown to be mournfully looking at a framed photo he had with peter, meaning that the two have spent time together beyond the scenes that we see them in and in the gap between movies. having kept that picture already speaks volumes about how much peter meant to tony. it was serving to be his reminder of what he was fighting for, not just to avenge the world, but for peter. that face is a face of a man who lost family.

and when i say “repeatedly”…

jeremy conrad’s tweet:

in a panel with the russo’s, a fan asked about what was going through tony’s mind when peter disintegrated before him, they answered, “like losing a child.”

robert downey jr.’s interview wherein his take on his character’s relationship with tom holland’s is “an attempt at modern parenting.”

…i mean, repeatedly. IRONDAD IS CANON.

before you all clamor about the lack of may parker in this post, i’d like to clarify that i absolutely adore that woman. there is no competition when it comes to being the most incredible parent and mother to peter. the love she has for her nephew cannot be measured and she raised him with all she had despite losing all who can support her in doing so. she deserves as much recognition and admiration as tony does. nonetheless, that doesn’t mean she can’t accept a little help from time to time especially in the spider-man department. richard and ben parker will always be peter’s dads, but that doesn’t mean he can’t have another father figure to look up to.

tony is not a perfect father figure. he has had his fair share of messing up trying to be and he probably thinks peter deserves someone better to fill in the role. but one thing is for sure, he loves peter and he’s doing everything in his power to be the best one he can be and the one that peter needs.

so to all those who put on a blind eye and deny that this relationship doesn’t exist, 

let it sink in that tony stark had become more of a hero to peter parker 

than he was in the suit.

iron man wasn't the one who believed in him

it was the man with the heart.

thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[memento-magicae]

8, 16, 19, 23, & 26!

8. How does your character feel about religion?

Religion has a place in the front seat in Akhira’a’s life, but always as a servant and never his master. His mother’s worship of Menphina has and will never reach the level of reverence like her tribal ancestors ever since she fled to the city after the clan’s fall, and is mainly restricted to the maintenance of a small altar, and simple rituals during holy days. To Akhira’a, it is more of a family custom than outright belief.

Technically he could be considered polytheistic, being open to the beliefs of other faiths so long as they align with his personal values. Ever since becoming a thaumaturge, the teachings of Nald’Thal had become part of his studies under the Order. He can recite scriptures from memory, and pass off as a man of the cloth convincingly. However, he lacks the outright hedonism among the more devoted members. Akhira’a’s more critical opinions of the Order is unlikely to ever reach anyone’s ears save for those he is close with. 

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

He is a thaumaturge of the Order, and can take on various jobs involving general magic-related enquiries, research and policing of contraband (read voidsent) magic. When he started as an apprentice, he took on plenty of embalming and undertaking jobs. If needed he does still take them occasionally.Besides having the opportunity to practice what he’s learned and getting paid for it, funerals of the rich means alms-giving to the priests of the Order. He can get free food, robes and extra tips, at a relatively high quality as well. Needless to say the undertaking job involves a lot of contact with corpses, some cases being exceptionally gruesome, some heartrending. They serve as reminders of how fortunate he is, to not be starving, penniless, or dead far away from home.

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

It’s less of disillusionment and more of realization of not just how rare, but how fragile his family’s peaceful life is. Akhira’a had a fairly carefree early childhood, but it took plenty of blood and sweat to keep him happy and healthy. His adoptive mother had to risk her life fleeing with her sister Akhira’a child to the city, with no one to rely on. While she did find a benefactor in the form of an adventurous Keeper man Selhe’to who would take her in and later become her partner, life had never been easy. From the possibility of being attacked by enemy tribals to earning gil to raise their own family once his two siblings were born, it was difficult to create a comfortable and lasting home. Things became easier once Akhira’a started working in Ul’dah, and with his help they moved into a larger house, and the family boulangerie started to flourish. They did not lose much during the Calamity save for the bakery being damaged, but it was a stark reminder of how potentially fragile his perfect home was in an ever changing Eorzea.

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

Loyalty, a kind heart and someone who would be accepting of who he was, basically. Ideally they would also be able to hold knowledgeable conversations with him. Akhira’a however gets unnerved by dating women, as they remind him of tribal obligations of polygamy in contrast to his staunch belief in monogamy, which came about seeing his parents’ strong bond.Generally he is sex-repulsed, seeing it either as a general tool for procreation or debauchery in its excess. If he does have a trusted partner, he would generally be submissive, putting his partner’s pleasure above his own. 

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

Akhira’a’s current lodgings in Ul’dah is a simple single-bedroom apartment, an upgrade from the smaller, dingier place he first lived in when he came to the city. It has all the needed amenities, including a bed, a bathroom, a small kitchen area and space for his books and random antiques, and kept fairly tidy save for the books whenever he takes them out to read. His family home in Gridania is far larger and more comfortable, but is also an upgrade from Akhira’a’s smaller childhood house. He would have a room for himself, decorated similarly in the manner of his old room, though he hardly stays there lately. 

He is generally modest in terms of fashion, preferring clothes in dark shades of black, blue and purple, or white. Jewellery is hardly worn, save for occasions when he does need to present himself to more affluent clients in Ul’dah. Functionality and a clean appearance is his top priority, but he will splurge on well-made robes for spellcasting to facilitate aether conductivity. He keeps his hair at mid-length, sometimes cutting it whenever the weather gets too hot. Akhira’a would also apply a thin layer of traditional face paint at times in either red or black. Unlike other clans where it appears as prominent stripes, Zhyur clan members apply it minimally that it almost resembles eyeliner and eyeshadow, thus why he would still continue to do it in an urban setting. Even if he is hardly a tribal miqo’te, the practice was taught to him by his mother and the daily application serves to remind him of his family back home. In Gridania, however, finery goes out the window and he dresses down considerably, though he still naturally keeps up his personal hygiene.

[hollowedrpg]

CONGRATULATIONS, SARAH! — You’ve been accepted for the role of Charity Burbage. What I loved most about your application was the way in which you gave Charity’s newfound fire a source other than her wife’s death. It doesn’t come from death, but life — her wife’s life and the way she lived, ready to take on her own war of sorts. The little details throughout your application kept it a fresh read from start to finish. I’m so excited to see you continue to develop her character. 

Thank you so much for applying. Please create your account and send in the link, track the right tags, and follow everyone on the follow list. Welcome to Hollowed Souls!

Name: Sarah

age: 24

preferred pronouns: She/Her

timezone: EST

activity: I would say my activity should be a 6-7/10 overall. My life can get pretty hectic from time to time but it ebbs and flows and I’ll be around to plot and check in most days and able to write replies 2-3 days out of the week.

are you applying for more than one character?: Not this time!

how do you feel about your character dying?: I mean of course I would be sad to see Charity go down in this war but provided I was able to have some measure of creative input as well as able to return to the rp as a different character I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing how Charity’s death plays out. She’s not a soldier for all that she’s trying to be one right now and it wouldn’t surprise me if she did end up as a casualty. To be completely honest the angst addict in me wonders how her death would affect the Order and the plot, would her light going out bring more hopelessness or would it spark dying fires of rebellion? A terrible part of me would really like to find out.

anything else?: Nothing except to say that you’re a fucking Queen Janelle and this roleplay is everything I dreamed it would be when you first mentioned it and more.

ic details.

full name: Charity Melina Burbage

Charity: Meaning “generous love” it is hard to imagine a name more fitting for Charity who was born with a heart overflowing with love for the world around her. Although Florence would have loved any child just the same, it was her wish that she would have a child who would give back to the world the joy that she herself had received in bringing them into it and she wrote that wish into her child’s name and delighted to see it come true as her daughter grew. For a long time all was as her mother had wished it. Her family was not perfect but it was defined by genuine love and kindness and for many years that was enough to keep the darkness from slipping in through the cracks. Little did she know that there was something else flowing within her precious child that would open the doors to a darkness more cruel than she could have imagined.

Melina: Meaning “honey.” Although it was Florence who swore up and down that all the honey she ate when she was trying to conceive and continued to crave throughout her pregnancy was the source of Charity’s honeyed tresses and sweet soul it was William who insisted, eyes twinkling with gentle mirth, that they pay homage to her belief with a name that would soon become his favored nickname for his only child.  Although many of his mates at work offered veiled condolences on the gender of his much longed for child William could not have been more overjoyed with his bright young daughter who met him every day upon his return from work with gifts of braided flowers and treats from the kitchen. It had put a chill in his heart the day she disappeared, however briefly, behind a barrier that he could not breach into a world that he could not fully understand. Although his wife’s undaunted faith in their child and Charity’s own eager curiosity won him over at the time and he encouraged his daughter to find her place in this strange new world that was hers by right of magic the chill never fully faded away and in time he would come to see there was more reason than fatherly concern behind his apprehension.

date of birth: 23, February, 1953 (Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon, Libra Rising)

former hogwarts house: Hufflepuff

sexuality: Pansexual Panromantic

gender/pronouns: she/her

face claim change: nope!

more.

how do you interpret this character’s personality? how will you play them? include two weaknesses & two strengths.

Charity was born with a bright seed of light inside of her that flourished in a home filled with love and patience until it glowed with the warmth of a small sun. Secure in her parent’s love she was driven from a young age to share the fount of joyful kindness (+) that sprung from within her with the world around her. She could not bear to see anything or anyone suffer and was ever taking in misfit strays and wounded animals to nurse back to health, baking treats to give to their neighbors, and doing all she could to wipe frowns from any face friend and stranger alike. Even as she grew and found that the world was much colder than the loving nest of her hometown her light remained growing even stronger despite all those who hissed at her that she had no right to shine. There are those who would call her kindness weakness, even she has cursed herself more than once since the beginning of the war for not being stronger or harder, but there is value in the ability to lift others’ spirits. There is scarcely person alive in Godric’s Hollow who has not lost someone or something dear to them and Charity does her best to bolster the spirits of those around her with hope and kindness on the days she is able to. Unfortunately those days seem to be fewer and fewer as time goes on.

Once Charity’s inner warmth and kindness was as constant as the sun, but loss has worn away at it until some days it gives off little more light than a smoldering ember. The truth is that Charity is terribly depressed (-). Following her wife’s death she had rallied bolstered by her commitment to the cause of preventing further atrocities and the bonds she strengthened and formed within the Order. For a few years she found a purpose and despite the mounting horrors of war she held on tight to her belief that good would win out in time. The Massacre and attack on the Order Headquarters has utterly shaken that conviction and set her back into a darkness akin to the one that overwhelmed her when she first lost Althea. There is something even worse about the darkest days of this relapse that are tinged with bitterness and self-recrimination. When people look to her for the light she used to shed so willingly she is beginning to shrink away from them. So many of them are ready to give up and let hatred run free through their world, what makes them think she has anything left to give? Her mind is a mass of contradictions. At times she wants nothing more than to curl up in bed and let the world fade away and others she hates herself for even thinking of giving up or holding back from the people who clearly need kindness more than ever. Althea would have never given up or cast blame on the people she loved for losses that many of them also suffered. When hopelessness and bitterness threaten to overwhelm her she remembers her wife who was so determined to save the world from forces that Charity did not fully understand and she shores herself up, brews a pot of tea, and finds someone who needs a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on.

Although most days she cannot see it, it is her spirit alongside the memory of her fierce beautiful wife that makes it so that Charity is so determined (+) not to give up no matter how dire the circumstances. When she was alive Althea was the ‘strong’ one in their relationship. Charity was plenty happy with a simple life full of beauty and was content when after many years of working at a small tea shop in Diagon Alley she was able to buy it from the owner and make it her own. She treasured the smiles of her customers and their compliments on her charmed teas and honey cakes. Although she too could be sweet and kind, Althea was more of a warrior than her sweet gentle wife. She was one of many scientists who formed the forefront of a movement to address the effects humanity was having on their planet and spent her days arguing against those who would harm the world she loved. Despite not fully understanding climate change Charity knew that Althea was working against the folly of men that could devastate both of their worlds if left unchecked. It is the fire she saw in her wife’s eyes when she spoke of men who would gladly let the world burn if it made their lives more pleasurable that is reflected now in Charity’s as she is faced with a group of people who would let their hatred and greed blind them to the evil of their actions. She has to believe that, despite all evidence to the contrary, good will win out over hatred and cruelty but she also knows that she cannot sit idly by and expect that to happen all on its own. So she remains determined to stand with the Order and make a difference despite the darkness in her heart and the world around her.

Although Charity’s determination remains strong, the fact remains that she was not born a soldier. In school she gravitated towards softer magics. She excelled  in charms and potions that could impart an extra boost of calm or energy to a cup of tea or cake, heal small minor issues, make flowers bloom and last, and photographs move but she was less interested in dueling or defense against the dark arts. As a result she is weak (-) when it comes to battle magic which leaves her at a disadvantage being as she is one of a few remaining members of the resistance. In the beginning her lack of battle prowess had not mattered as much since the Order was better manned and she had other ways of contributing, but now with the Order on its last legs and beginning to fracture she is beginning to feel almost useless. She has learned to cast a Patronus, but is still struggling to learn enough offensive and defensive magic to make her presence in a fight more of a help than a hindrance.

how has the war affected this character, emotionally and otherwise?

There is little the war hasn’t stolen from Charity. It began as a shadow scarcely noticed in the otherwise blue sky of her life nothing more than harsh words hissed and whispered at her in halls and classrooms. By the time she realized how large and menacing the shadow of war had grown it was too late, it had already noticed her and stolen her love right out of her hands. Although it has been years since Althea’s murder Charity still wakes from nightmares with her wife’s name on her lips and tears soaking her pillow. She knows it was hatred, vile and putrid, that stole her wife from her  but on her darker days it is hard not to dwell on her own part in her wife’s death. If it wasn’t for her Althea would have never been in the Leaky Cauldron that day. Althea never would have known there was a world existing alongside her own or that people might wish her dead solely for her lack of magic and the accident of her wife’s birth. If Charity had only paid more attention to the whispers and dark undercurrents that were rising on the streets of the magical world she had come to love alongside the one she had been born into she could have done something differently. If she had known how bad things were getting she could have taken Althea someplace safe. Even if she had only remembered to refill her floo powder her wife might still be alive and well. If…if…if…if, it was a torturous exercise but one that she had trouble stopping once it wormed its way to the forefront of her mind. Although it had felt like the end of the world when Althea’s bright green eyes drifted shut in a darkened alley way it was only the beginning. After Arthur told her about the war and the Order she had fought her way out of the darkness that had descended on her the moment the light had gone dark in her wife’s eyes to devote herself to helping them in any way that she could only to watch her friends suffer and die and finally become refugees of a bloody war.

Along the way she lost her home. After the Ministry was lost Charity had gone home to her parents and begged them to leave. All she could think of was how their home was linked to the magical world and the war that was tearing it apart from the inside out all because of her and the idea of harm coming to them because they had born a magical child terrified her. In turn they had begged her to come with them and she had tearfully refused them. They were safer without her with them and she could not turn her back on the only people fighting to keep what had happened to Althea from happening to anyone else. Her only concession was to give her mother a charmed envelope one of a set that would allow them to trade messages if they needed to and a promise that she would write them when she could. As soon as her parents were safely away she lit her envelope on fire to break the connection between them fearing it would be used to trace them if hers was ever compromised. It broke her heart to lie to her mother but her desire to protect her parents won out against the cries of a small child that lived in her chest who wanted ever so badly to run to her parents and hide.  After her parents left she packed up what she could not live without, including a box full of photographs more precious to her than gold, and moved into the back rooms of her shop on the edge of Diagon Alley. The beautiful town that she had grown up in, had lived and laughed and fallen in love in, held nothing for her now. It was a ghost town full of lovely memories tinged with the pain of loss and like many things it only existed within her reach in photographs.

The Massacre and the combined failed Malfoy Manor mission and attack on the Headquarters dealt a final harsh blow to Charity’s spirit. It meant another home lost since there was enough to link her shop, sometimes used as a safehouse in the past, to the Order that it was not safe to return to. It meant that even more of her friends were dead or lost in a world that seemed colder and bloodier every day. It meant that they were losing, the death eaters took their losses as well she knows but so with Voldemort still living she knows he can continue to spread his vileness and infect new followers to fill his ranks, and that more and more of them wanted to give up. Once they relocated to Godric’s Hollow, a place so cursed by death that not even Voldemort would think to find them there, the already faded light in her chest began to flicker and bleed out. It’s hard for her some days to continue on surrounded as she is by reminders of their losses both in the landscape of the ravaged village itself and in the faces of her remaining friends.

where does this character currently stand? with those who wish to hide in godric’s hollow until the war ends, with those who wish to rebuild the order and continue fighting the war, or on neither side? Why?

Charity is torn when it comes to the schism that is beginning to tear at the center of the Order. On one hand she fully understands those who wants to do their best to remain safe and weather the war in hiding. She loves her friends dearly and wants them all to be safe and knows that there is no way to ever be fully safe while fighting a war. Not to mention there is the fact that given a chance to turn back time and keep her family together and safe far from the ravages of war she knows that she would very likely make the selfish choice to do so. But she also knows that Voldemort and those who think like him will never stop. She saw it in the eyes of the men who stole her wife from her. They knew that there would be likely be no way to avoid the repercussions of their actions, but it was worth it to them to make her and her wife suffer for the mere accident of their blood. Men like them… people like the remaining death eaters will never stop trying to destroy what they think it unworthy to exist in their world. And so those who would fight to keep the thorny vines of hatred from choking out the good in their world have to keep going as well. So as much as she understands the impulse to give in to hopelessness and hide away she stands with those who wish to rebuild and continue fighting. It’s what Althea would have done, it’s what the remaining spark of light in her soul is driving her to do. Kindness is not always soft. Sometimes it burns with all the bright heat of protective love and vengeance against those who would spread darkness. She does think that a secondary safehouse should be set up for those who cannot or will not fight, but she herself refuses to just stand by and let the evil that has infected their world and stolen so much from her and those she loves prevail.

Character Question: What is Charity’s role in the order? Has she found a place or is she still struggling to find her own way to help?

When she first joined the Order she was able to do enough to help in many little ways. She offered up her shop as a safehouse and a place to meet following missions and kept watch with a cup of soothing tea and a hand to hold for when people began to show up and had to wait to see who else would make it back. She kept an eye on the atmosphere at the edge of Diagon Alley and noticed when one by one her muggleborn regulars began to stop in less and less and then not at all. She hid messages in her daily specials and visited fellow members with baskets of food and flowers when they were injured or lost someone. Over time she established herself as a bright spot of hope in the Order by being ready with a smile and a listening ear despite having faced her own terrible loss before ever having joined the war effort.

Since the loss of her shop and her own mounting depression it has gotten harder for Charity to feel as though she is truly benefiting the order. She wants so badly to help and tries her best to remain a bright spot in the darkness for her friends and allies and to support those who reach out to her but there are days that she feels hopeless about her ability to make a true difference. Worse than that she once more feels stretched between two worlds with one foot on each side of the schism that is shaking the core of the Order. She wants to offer her love and support to everyone, including those who cannot bear to fight any longer, but her determination to soldier on causes tension between her own convictions and her desire for everyone to be safe. She wants to fight alongside those who are committed to continuing on, but she feels like she would slow them down in a true fight. She is torn and hurting and trying so hard to find the right balance to hold on to what remains of her light and keep going forward.

However, in many ways I believe she still plays an important part in the Order. Fractured and bleeding though she may be she is still a sign of goodness in a dark world and for many I believe that is important just to see her surviving. I could see her role playing out any number of ways. She is able to understand people exceedingly well and could play a part in bringing together the two opposing sides of the Order. She could also end up a martyr if she isn’t careful.

extra.

Snapshot HC’s

Hometown- Shere, Surrey, England

Parents- Florence (nee Wells) and William Burbage

Charity’s late wife- Name: Althea Quinn. Occupation: Environmental scientist/activist Appearance: Brunette w/ green eyes. They met following Charity’s graduation from Hogwarts as Althea spent most of her summers in Ireland. Charity revealed her magic to her on the eve of her marriage proposal to Althea explaining that she didn’t want there to be any dishonesty between herself and the woman she wanted to spend her life with.

Patronus: Hedgehog- “Cute and loveable inside and out, those who possess a hedgehog Patronus may thrive on giving and receiving love and may feel they need more of it than others realize. While upfront about their endearment and affectionate personality, hedgehogs are also known to be anxious and overly cautious. They often worry about their own and others of their kind’s safety. Those around must approach the hedgehog with care and precision, though, because when defensive and hurt, hedgehogs are remembered not for their sweetness, but for their sharp spikes.” “The first impression of an individual with a hedgehog patronus can be very deceiving. On the outside, they can first appear happy-go-lucky and kind, as well as slightly naive. They are optimistic individuals in the way they want to be happy and have the feeling rub off on others, but this is not who they are completely. Rather, they actually have a tough personality to them, and have the ability to fight and defend themselves. Do not take the for weaklings, because they certainly are not, and are much more perceptive than they appear. The most common house for a hedgehog patronus is Hufflepuff. The most common signs are Cancer and Sagittarius.”

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/salexis19/ch-bleeding-light/

Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/emmavanity/playlist/6yJd5ZF9SMj0Rz3MIuILoe?si=IkH6i6Q9Qq24RYF_p486HA

[josephbinningyoumatter]

In Order to Love Someone Well, You Must Love Yourself, First * 12 Easy Steps to Learn How

"The story of the human race is the story of men and woman selling themselves short". Abraham Lincoln   Love, we all seek it. We all need it. We all desire it. But to give yourself freely and Love someone, genuinely Love someone, you must first be Lovable. To be Lovable, you must Love yourself, first. Loving yourself is an important factor to living well. It will influence who you spend your life with and with creating your memories, how you will choose your friends (like attracts like), how you will deal with the many problems life will throw at you, and your own well-being. How you see yourself is how you will treat, or mistreat, yourself. But how do you Love yourself, first? Loving yourself first does not mean buying it, aka bribes. You cannot get it in a beauty salon or doctor's office. There is no magic pill or external source that can make you genuinely Love yourself for more than a minute or a moment. There is no external relationship that can fix a sense of a non-Loving nature. These can satisfy you for a moment, but only a moment. Loving yourself first is not a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. It’s dynamic; it grows through actions that mature us. When we act in ways that validate our Love for ourselves, we accept our weaknesses, and our strengths, accept our short-comings, show compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning in this life, can live more in alignment in our life’s purpose and values, and can begin living a full life through our own efforts.

I am reminded of a story of when Confucius met Lao Tzu. Many think Lao Tzu to be the original author of the Tao Te Ching, which has gained worldwide influence since published, being the most published book in history, after the Holy Bible. The influence of Confucius on Chinese culture over past centuries has also been considerable. His approach to life is opposite to life to that of Lao Tzu, as the following tale shows: Lao Tzu and his teachings were always a concern of Confucius. It is said that once he went to see Lao Tzu. He was older than Lao Tzu, so he wanted Lao Tzu to behave with manners, as an old man expects. But Lao Tzu was sitting, and he would not even stand to greet him. He would not even say, “Sit down, sir,” and he didn’t pay much attention to him. Confucius became furious. What type of master is this? And he said, “Don’t you follow any manners?” Lao Tzu said, “If you feel like sitting, you sit; if you feel like standing, you stand. Who am I to say anything about it? It is your life. I do not interfere.” It shocked Confucius. Then he asked something about the superior man, the gentleman, and Lao Tzu laughed, and he said, “I have never come across any ‘superior’ or ‘inferior’. Men are men as trees are trees and everything takes part in the same existence. Nobody is superior and nobody is inferior, and it is all nonsense and rubbish!” Confucius became very much afraid. And this man Lao Tzu had tremendous silence around him; he was a pool of silence. When I read this tale, it rang true to me in so many ways. For many of my younger years I did not feel Lovable. I felt inferior. I did not feel “worthy” of Love by another, so I would follow unhealthy ways and make terrible choices in life. When you realize nobody is superior and nobody is inferior, and it is all nonsense and rubbish, and make the active choice to believe it you will stop comparing your life to that of others and you will stop building false scenarios of what you feel your life should look like in order for you to Love yourself. Loving yourself first is a wonderful adventure. It's like learning to do something well for the first time. Your confidence grows. You walk with a swagger. You realize that there is nothing in this world that you cannot accomplish. You see your value and worth. You feel you are worthy of the Love you desire. The Love that you were born to share.

  Here are 12 suggestions to discover how to Love yourself first, so you may Love someone well: - Give yourself a break Stop with the negative self-talk in your mind and especially out loud. Every time you beat yourself up and criticize yourself, you affirm in your mind that you are not worthy. Stop it! I know of only one perfect and we are not it.   - Change your thoughts and change the outcome Stop telling yourself that you will fail or that you are a failure. What the mind thinks, the mouth says. What the mouth says, the heart believes. What the heart believes, the body reacts to. Start seeing yourself as worthy and Lovable.   - Apologize to yourself for your past behaviors You are human, so you will make mistakes. A poor decision does not make you a bad person. It only makes it a poor decision. If you hurt someone you deeply cared about, you wouldn’t withhold an apology to them.   - Be kind to yourself. We all have an inner child we live with all our lives. When you berate a child they shut down, withdraw, and don’t grow healthily. When you make a mistake, and you will, don’t berate yourself. Learn from it, try not to repeat it, and do better. But be kind to yourself.

- Be patient with yourself It took me quite some time to change my inner thoughts of feeling unworthy of Love to realizing that I am the person who I was designed to be, not perfect, but perfect for me. Don’t expect change to happen overnight, but don’t let yourself take forever either. Set healthy expectations and bring yourself along at a steady pace.       - Remind yourself you are worthy Just as you used to beat yourself up when you made a mistake, remind yourself when you did something good.  Praise,  recognition, and to be “seen” is something we all need and desire. Tell yourself regularly that you are worthy, worthy of Love, worthy of kindness, worthy of a fulfilling life.   - Allow others to support you Tell your friends and Loved ones what you are doing, how you are creating a new you. Ask them for support. Find support groups, read books, subscribe to blogs that speak to this. Find like-minded people who will tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear, which will help you grow as a person and help you see the exceptional person you really are.   - Care for yourself as you care for other Loved ones Self-care is the principal cause of a healthy self-esteem and sense of self. You cannot care for others if you don’t train yourself to care for yourself first.   - Nurture your body-temple Your body is your temple, stop treating it like a garage, its holy, its sacred, its blessed, and it’s a reflection of you. What do you do with the old things you don’t care for? You stick it in a box and stuff it in the garage and forget about it. Polish it, clean it, give it what it needs to flourish.   - Make Positive self-talk a regular part of your day When you wake up ask the man, women, or child you see in the mirror each day if they are doing the best they can, to be the best human they can. Hold them accountable. They will doubt. When they do, remind them you Love them, and they are worthy of your Love. Say it until they believe it. They will thank you for it.

- Enjoy yourself Learn to enjoy your own company. Being alone gives you time to spend, bond, and appreciate your new best friend. We develop Love with face time, intimate times, shared moments, not distance. Learn to be still and remind yourself you are worthy of your time, because you are worthy of being Loved.   - Love yourself first I once knew someone who could care so much for others but could not care for themselves. That person was me. Do not let it be you.   You are worthy of Love because you are Love.   You might also like this:  DON’T WAIT TO FIND OUT YOU ARE DYING BEFORE YOU START LIVING And this one: WHAT I LEARNED FROM BEING STUCK AND FROZEN If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles. You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don't think so For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

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